#guinevere was a good mom

[slushbee]

1362:

Guinevere Järvinen died in childbirth while giving birth to triplets. Two boys and a girl--only the girl survived. They named her Emelyne. Reino was thankful Emelyne survived, but was devestated at the loss of his sister-in-law. Sigrid heard the news and rushed to find Reino in the barn very upset. After some comforting words and a hug, Reino fell more in love with Sigrid--kissing her for the first time!

[lonleyhumanbeing]

Random Mechanisms moments I love:

I refuse to listen to DotM so this is incomplete, and terribly formatted.

"Wasn't it the aristocratic one with all the knives?" "Ah yes, the Marquis de AlltheKnives,"

Ashes has a lot of gold on board, 'for tax purposes'.

Jonny "I got a prescription of 1/2 an ounce of lead to be injected directly into the brain. AND IT WASN'T A PRESCRIPTION FOR ME!" *bang* d'Ville.

The first time we canonically meet Jonny he commits patricide, murder, and arson.

The card taps in One Eyed Jack scratch my brain so well.

The fact that Oedipus is called a motherfucker. Multiple times.

Guinevere's verse in Blood and Whisky being faster, because she is the fastest draw.

Seriously I’ve listened to the song 50+ times and I still get so happy thinking about the faster tempo.

“We’re not pure of heart but we’re sure of aim,”. These three I swear.

All the Suits turning up in pinstripes.

The entirety of Gunpowder Tim vs. the Moon Kaiser. It's getting its own post, and I have listened to it 27 times since 12/03. That's 270 minutes, or 4.5 hours.

The dwarf Dopey just being General Tuco DOPED up on drugs.

The Toy Solider.

The fact that, even for a moment, love won in the end of High Noon Over Camelot.

How creepy Holder of the Grail is.

The Riddle of the Sphinx’s answer is man. The riddle of the sphinx virus was also man, taking the life force for themselves.

10 caliber= X-caliber= Excalibur.

The sellguns on Fort Galfridian are the same as freelances in medieval times.

Baldur was killed by Missle Two.

“Any window with a hammer can be an emergency exit”

Tim and Brian during the tea party in Alice.

The entirety of Alice, actually. I feel like it’s a hidden gem.

Lost in the Cosmos :(

In Drunk Space Pirate, Jonny calling himself first mate is the best way to show his character growth.

Ivy died in a library fire. Her last name is Alexandria. As in the Library of Alexandria. Which burned down.

Marius “mom says hi” von Raum in the UDAD live version of Favored Son.

Orpheus being called a borderline child in UDAD live show, but in the fiction he’s like 27.

Jonny playing the drums in the UDAD live show during Sirens. Very flamboyantly/pissily

Actea and Lyssa. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it discussed but it is one of my favorites. The vocals are so so good. And the fact that Actea thought that they were both running from the Hunter, only for Lyssa to be the thing she should have been running from.

The bass line in Cinder’s Song? So good.

Once you start to notice Ivy’s music in the back you can’t stop listening. I feel like it really pulls everything together.

“Also he fought a bear…” in Hereward the Wake. Such a random line and I love it.

All of Odin’s vocals in TBI. They really said “just do whatever.” And I’m thinking specifically of Odin and Ragnarok 2.

Seriously have you tried hitting the high notes in Ragnarok 2? Impossible.

How the hell did Brian get his prophetic powers? Both as the Hanged Man Merlin and in the City.

All of the live whistling is so impressive.

I just realized that Ulysses has their own motif in UDAD. It’s the piano from My Name is No-one and also repeats in ‘Olympians’ and Torn Suits at least.

I know it’s been mentioned but Lost in the Cosmos’ melody in the background of ‘The Tower’ is such a good foreshadowing moment.

Prometheus was punished for giving the people of Ilium a FIREwall. It’s so good it loops around to being bad.

The church bells in Gunfight at Dolores Guard signifying that it’s noon.

In the DTTM records by of Hellfire Jonny pauses right before ‘flock’. To gain control of the crowd, like a preacher would.

The Mechanisms are hated in-universe. So much. You can’t tell me that Lyf was the first Inspector to have to talk to them. The others probably all quit.

[wisteria-lodge]

Better Names for the HP Epilogue Kids:

thank you @arkadijxpancakes, @fire-vvhiskey, @missbrunettebarbie, @the-phoenix-heart and the ask box anons for the excellent suggestions! I liked them so much that I just wanted to group them all in one place.

HARRY / GINNY

Fredrick (if he's the first Weasley clan grandson, and George is okay with it, Ginny might insist on this one)

Sirius (I do think it makes sense to go with Sirius, but to use it as a first name. Sirius Black's name was never officially cleared, and I think Harry would be on top of that post-war. Naming his son Sirius would be a very clear, political, statement of intent.)

Alfred (Honors Fred without being on the nose, and the Al- honors Albus without out being too on the nose. Also very Weasley-coded.)

Ariana (Honors Albus... but Harry isn't conflicted about Ariana, and it doesn't cast as huge a shadow over the kid (one step away from naming him Merlin, honestly.) Also, I think Albus would honestly be pretty uncomfortable with a child named after him, and would prefer one named after his sister)

Evan (Very classy way to name a kid after Lily Evans)

Fleamont “Monty” (Important Potter family name with a Weasley-coded nickname)

Godric (Honors Lily, James and Albus who all lived at Godric's Hollow. And of course Godric Gryffindor, because Harry and Ginny are two of the loudest Gryffindors to ever Gryffindor.

Wulfric (One of Albus' middle names, so a more subtle way to honor him. Also that "Wolf" part brings in Remus)

Ruby (Fits in well with the other Weasley names, very Gryffindory, would be an adorable way to name someone after Hagrid.)

Holly (Cute, Weasley-coded, and a botanical name like Lily while bringing in the protective elements of Harry's holly wand.)

Minerva (Harry and Ginny both have nothing but good associations, it's a good name, and "Minnie" is a cute Weasley-ish nickname. Also makes more sense than 'Luna,' which they went for in-canon.)

The Weasleys seem to possibly favor names with an Arthurian vibe (Arthur, Percy) and they are very wizardy in a way Harry might enjoy. So some options in that category:

Vivienne (magical character)

Elaine (also happens to be the "Lily Maid," so another way to get Lily in there)

Gawain (very Gryffindor kind of guy)

Guinevere (Gwennie or Jenny for short. Ginny and Jenny would be very cute)

RON / HERMIONE

Jean (Hermione's middle name, and very possibly her mom's name. It would make a lot of sense to name kids after Hermione's (muggle) parents)

Harriet (cute way of naming a kid after Harry, who is basically family to both Hermione and Ron)

Everyone seems to like the idea of Hermione and Ron going to Shakespeare for their names. 'Hermione' is a Shakespeare name, and it makes sense that she would favor a muggle writer who loves to write about magic. Some good options:

Hero (Ron would think this is cute and funny)

Rosalind

Prospero / Prosper (naming a son after the wizard character would be fun for both of them)

Miranda (the wizard's daughter)

Owen (after wizard Owen Glendower)

Viola

Lysander

Imogene

Robin (Robin Goodfellow, so fairy/magic connection)

Benedick

Perdita (Hermione's daughter in A Winter's Tale. Hermione would get a kick out of this)

Toby

Edgar

Eleanor

Sebastian

Tamora

DRACO / ASTORIA

Corvus (This is the constellation that would have been in the sky during the Battle of Hogwarts/Voldemort's death, which makes it a classy choice... but it also does show up in the Fantastic Beasts films as a super Lestrange name, and Draco would know that.)

Regulus (makes a LOT of sense to honor another Death Eater who changed sides, as well as the Black family. Underlines the importance of family tradition while also allowing Draco to telegraph exactly where his new loyalties lie.)

Berenice (also referencing a constellation above the death of Voldemort. Means 'victory bringer,' which - appropriate.)

Aquila (another astronomy name. Latin for "Eagle," which might make a nice pair with Astoria, which means "Hawk.")

Amalthea (very, very pretty and soft astronomy name.)

Sylvius/Sylvia (Latin "forest." Nice, standard pureblood name, but the meaning does have a nice overlap with Astoria's maiden name, Greengrass. Also, the 'y' and 'l' sounds makes it sound really nice with 'Malfoy.')

Draco might also want to use a botanical name, to honor Narcissa. The narcissus (daffodil) is also an early spring flower, and I think that symbolism would appeal to Draco and Astoria: publicly communicate that this is a new start for the family. In that category, I like:

Iris

Hyacinth (Draco would use this name for either a boy or girl. Also sounds similar to 'Hyperion,' Scorpius' canon middle name, so presumably Draco and/or Astoria would think it sounds nice)

Forsythia (Just a very striking flower name. Also "Sythie" as a nickname is kinda cool.)

[gellavonhamster]

Obsessed with Bliss & Blunder by Victoria Gosling tbh. Yeah, the King Arthur tech bro modern AU book. Morgan and Guinevere who were best friends as teens, who meant the world to each other and then broke up because of Guinevere's stupid brother and everything, who still cannot help but miss each other. Morgan and Arthur - not related here - who bonded as bullied kids on the school bus, exchanged letters in college, fell in love but fumbled it. Morgan who isn't sure she wasn't in love with Guinevere. Morgan trying to get justice for murdered women. Guinevere who is deeply unhappy in her glossy Instagram paradise and deeply out of fucks to give, Guinevere who thinks raising her adopted son Mordred is the only good thing she's done in her life. Sweet, quiet, deeply unwell Lancelot. Guinevere horrified by what Elaine did to Lancelot. Gawain whose characterization at first surprised me until I realized that in the present-day timeline, Gareth is already dead. Mordred who's an edgy troublemaker with an all-black bedroom but also just an eighteen-year-old boy who loves his mom so much. Galahad the genius young hacker with white hair and pronouns. Gawain's arrangement with Lord Bertilak and his wife. Canon Galadred. A Shakespeare's character who isn't even Arthurian is there for some reason? Everyone is miserable but trying their best. Everything is about old friends except when it's about war except when it's about forgiveness except when it's about sexism except when it's about stories that are doomed to repeat but maybe can go differently this time.

[monsterswithimagines]

Undisclosed Desires - Part 16

Joe Goldberg x female!Reader

Summary: Twenty minutes before he would have met Guinevere Beck, Joe meets you instead. You intruige him, but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you.

Words: 1436

Masterlist

You told me you were insecure, but I didn't really believe you.

Girls - women - say they're insecure because they think being confident is the same as bragging. They see a woman walk confidently down the street, and they consider it being slutty.

Don't believe me, (Y/n)? Just think. When an insecure woman gets raped, she is a victim. Her life is ruined. But when a confident woman gets raped, she asked for it. She ruined the man's life. Women really think like this. It's all #girlpower and #badbitches until somebody gets hurt.

But you? You don't think like that.

And you really were insecure. I can tell because you're finally gaining some confidence, and it makes a world of difference. You give your opinion to your coworkers. You go outside without spending an hour staring at yourself in the mirror (you rarely wore make-up anyway, but you used to worry about your hair).

And you're writing. A lot.

You say you're not ready for me to read your stories, but you use Google Docs, which means everything is right there on your phone. You can't blame me for sneaking a peak when you go take a shower. Really, you want me to.

I don't know what you were talking about when you said you couldn't write. Your stories are amazing. You are wasting your talents, working in marketing.

The story you're writing right now is about a glass labyrinth. A girl has been walking through it for as long as she can remember. She can't find the exit. Then one day, she meets a boy on the other side of the wall. They try to walk the same route, hoping to eventually find a way to be together, but they never do. At least not where you're at, yet.

But I know they'll find each other eventually, (Y/n), because the story is really about us. All of your stories are about us. About being distant, and then coming together.

You're writing about us being from different countries, and then finding each other. You have to be. It's all one big metaphor.

I love your stories.

You're not fighting with your mom anymore, which is good because it means you are in an infinitely better mood lately. Even when you're grumpy, you don't shut me out anymore - you want me as close as possible, all the time. When I'm working and you're not, you even hang out at the bookstore.

You also want to see my apartment. You think it's weird that you haven't before. So one night, I clean up and I invite you over. I cook for you. It turns out bad, but you praise me because it's been forever since you ate anything homecooked.

You love my apartment. You love my old typewriters (you learn all their names in less than an hour) and you love that even though it's one room, it still feels like the living room, bedroom and kitchen are seperate rooms. You love that all my stuff is secondhand and old. You even love Paco, who comes over halfway through the dinner which I failed to cook.

His mom and Ron are fighting again, and you tell Paco that Ron sounds “like a dick”. But when Ron comes banging at my door, you smile sweetly and say you think Paco's just the nicest kid and get me out of a lecture because Ron thinks it's just fine for Paco to be here if there's a girl like you around, apparently.

I meet your grandparents. Not in person, of course. One day your grandma facetimes you while I'm over at yours, and you turn my phone and tell me to wave, and then your grandfather asks me a thousand questions. You don't have a dad, but your grandfather is like one. And I think he approves of me.

Basically, everything about our relationship is falling into place. But then:

“I'm going home for Christmas.”

My world shatters.

“Home?” I ask. Maybe, just maybe, you mean something other than what I think you mean.

“To The Netherlands,” you say. You pause. “My grandmother really wants me there.”

This is the worst. This is insane. You can't just go that far away from me. Anything could happen to you!

I say: “isn't Christmas three months away? Why are you telling me already?”

Like I don't care. Like I hadn't even thought about Christmas.

“Well, I don't want you to make plans for us, or anything.”

I already made plans. We were going to have dinner with Mr. Mooney. It would have been incredibly depressing, but you have to meet him at some point because he's the closest thing I have to family. Then, I was going to take you on a carriage ride, and we were going to watch Shakespeare in the park because you've read Macbeth, but you didn't get it and really, (Y/n), I love books but Shakespeare was a playwright and his words weren't meant to be read, they were meant to be experienced.

It's how you claim you don't like romantic comedies, but really you just don't like romance novels. I know if you watched Hannah and her sisters with me, you'd love it. You'd recognize that romantic comedies are art. But you are stubborn.

“When are you going?” I ask.

“December ninth.”

“How long are you going?”

“Until January third.”

I have to live without you for almost an entire month?!

“And you can just take that much time off?”

“I’m using all my days at once,” you say. “Plus some unpaid time. And I promised not to take any vacation during the summer next year. So.” You clear your throat. “I’m sorry.”

“No, you have to go be with your family,” I say. “I get it.”

And I do get it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not also the worst thing you could have done to me. Because you are not inviting me.

And I swear, sometimes it’s like you read my mind:

“Next time I go to The Netherlands, I’m inviting you, I promise.”

“Okay.”

“It’s just that if I invite you now, my grandparents are going to think it’s way too soon. They’ll think I’m just like my mother, and I’m supposed to be different, you know?”

You talk about your grandparents like they are your parents, and your mother like she is a sister who set the wrong tone within your family. Someone you have to outdo. I don’t understand the dynamic within your family and I don’t pretend to understand it. I just stare at you until you continue:

“She’s, like, a serial dater. She’s only with a guy until he loves her, and then she fucks him, and then she leaves him. When I was a kid there was a new man around basically every week. It’s more like every month now, but still.”

You are not like your mother, (Y/n). I know because I love you, and here you are. And also, we’re not having sex. It’s not because you say no, anymore. Now, I’m the one putting it off. I have a plan for us.

“That sounds like it was hard.”

“My grandparents tried to get custody of me,” you say. “It was a whole thing.” You take a deep breath. “But yeah. So I really thought about inviting you, but I don’t want them to get the wrong idea. They’ve seen you now. I want them to hear about you more. To think of you as a guy who’s sticking around. Before they meet you in person, I mean.”

And you know what? I love that. I understand why you’re not inviting me.

I still hate it, but it does make sense.

“Okay,” I say. “Well, I can’t say I’m not disappointed that we’re not spending Christmas together, but I get it.”

“Do you have plans for Thanksgiving?”

“Not really,” I say. Mr. Mooney doesn’t believe in Thanksgiving and you’re not American, so it’s not like I have anybody to celebrate with. And anyway, it’s a holiday meant to deify white people invading a country and killing most of the population through semi-accidental biological warfare. What’s there to celebrate.

“Let’s make Thanksgiving our Christmas this year,” you say.

“Okay.”

It won't be the same. There is no Shakespeare in the park on Thanksgiving, because everybody will be watching football. But I'll just have to come up with something else.

“I can't believe we're making plans for Thanksgiving two months in advance.”

“I'm Dutch,” you say. “Be glad we're not having the Christmas conversation in March.”

[cookstorys]

𝙿𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚗𝚘 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎

___________

Character- Joe Goldberg

Show/Movie- You

Warning- Murder, mentions of murder, covering up a murder, Psycho husband, dad reader!, loosely inspired by the show Ginny and Georgia, lowkey might make this a series

Females dni

_______________

Perfect. That’s what you and Joe faked to be, just for this life. A fresh start. The perfect family, The perfect couple, the perfect dad, the perfect house, even the perfect town. Joe had worked his ass off to make it here with you and your son, Henry. He’s done things he isn’t proud of. You both have but look where it leads you. In a nice suburban neighborhood filled with rich people. You both had gotten away with so much and you could practically taste the sweet victory. Well, you almost tasted the victory.

__________________

“Have a good day champ.” Joe smiled as he ruffled Henry’s dirty blonde hair. He let out a short pout before turning around to walk toward his elementary school. Joe still couldn’t believe Henry had recently turned 4, time flew. “ It’s crazy how fast they grow huh?” There appeared a random guy that Joe definitely didn’t know. Possibly a friend of [Name]?

“Definitely, seems just like yesterday I was changing his diapers.” Joe chuckled. He didn’t want to entertain this guy but you both promised to give this new place a try, which meant sometimes entertaining randoms. “Well, he looks very well-raised. Who’s the lucky mom?” Aw, there it goes. The assumption of the other parent. Happens a lot more than you think. “Lucky father.” Joe corrected. The man sent a stern yet apologetic look. “Sorry for assuming, I just figured he was probably Guinevere Beck’s, or Candace’s, hell maybe Love Quinn’s. Who knows with your past.” He stated nonchalantly.

Hearing those names made Joe’s blood go cold. Who was the random man and what was he planning? The unwanted memories started to flood in and Joe couldn’t take it. “I’m sorry but you must have the wrong guy. I have no idea who any of those people are whatsoever. Now if you don’t mind, I have some cookies to buy.” Joe left without saying a word.

He slammed the door to his newly owned SUV. He thought he covered his tracks so well. Sure, there were a few bumps in the road, some bigger than others, but he always cleaned up well. So he thought at least. The car began to shrink into itself as Joe struggled to take his belt off. The smaller the car got, the more squished he was within the car. Until a notification pinged on his phone…than the allusion suddenly stops. It took a while for Joe to recover but when he did he checked his phone he saw that his husband had called and message him multiple times.

[Desired Contact name]

[name] - Did you drop Henry off yet?

[name] - Where are the cookies?

[name] - I need those cookies for the neighbor’s party

[name] - Joe?

[name] - Are you ok?

[name] - Text back as soon as you can

Joe mentally screamed at himself in the mirror knowing he was going to get his head yelled off when he gets home. He sent a quick text back and then started the car. He’s fucked.

__________________

Joe pulled into his new driveway in a hurry. He rushed towards the trunk to get the bags, got his keys, and ran to unlock his door. After putting down the bags of groceries he yelled throughout the empty house, “[Name]?”. “Upstairs!” Is what he was met with. Before he could even open the door fully he was immediately bombarded by your mess. “Where were you? You know what that doesn’t matter right now. Did you get the cookies? What are you wearing? What took you so long? Should we match? Did you find a job yet? How was Henry's drop off? Did he cry?” You continued your pacing around the room while doing random tasks still waiting for joes answers.

“I went to our local Walmart. I did indeed get the cookies. I’m wearing what I got on now. The lines and traffic were a lot longer than usual today. No, couples that match publicly are weird. I, unfortunately, have not. The drop-off was amazing, Henry took it like a champ. And no he did not but,” Joe dragged as he reached out for your hips to stop your pacing and for you to focus on him “You need to stop for a minute and breath.” He chuckled and you followed along. “Yeah, you’re right. I’ve been a mess recently.” You laughed. Joe's smile slowly started to fade.

“Speaking of mess..” Joe sat on the bed ready to take whatever reaction. “Mhm.” You questioned slowly and suspiciously. “Well, this man walked up to me today, and… he knew about my past.” Joe finished. [Name] gave him a blank stare at first then bust out laughing. “Joe anyone can know anyone’s past just by a simple Google search.” You rolled your eyes and walked down the stairs. You were one of the few that knew your husband's past and a normal person would’ve been worried for the sake of your family, but you were far from normal. The family you come to practically foreshadowed your future. So it wasn’t surprising that you ended up with a serial killer.

“[Name] he shouldn’t have been able to find me unless he’s been looking for a while.” You wished he would just drop this already, it was honestly ridiculous. “Listen, Joe,” You inhaled loudly out of frustration. “We have this nice house, great cars, and a wonderful family. We built this perfect life from the ground up and you’re over here stressing about some wack job that knows a little bit about you.” Joe’s eyes found their way toward the ground. “Let’s just go to the party and worry about this later. As in tomorrow.” You reasoned and Joe shook his head yes at that idea.

You grabbed the cookies and neatly placed them in a layout tray as if you did them yourself. The walk over to the house party was quiet. Thank god it was just next door. Joe went to knock on the door lightly and waited for someone’s arrival on the other side. When someone finally did both of your mouths immediately dropped for different reasons, however. Your mouth dropped since the man that stood before you was one of the hottest men you’ve ever seen in your life. You couldn’t tell if that was a bruise or a birthmark on his eyebrow but what does it matter? He was still hot both ways. Joe's mouth was wide open because this was the exact man from earlier today and after a glance at your facial expression he knew this mysterious man was going to be a problem. A problem for the life you built here, a problem for the things Joe had done in the past, a problem for you.

“Hi, I’m Elliot.”

[queer-ragnelle]

📜📖🎨 :3

📜 What was your favorite Medieval story you read this year?

Answered here, but I have several. Another would be Wigalois. I read it all in one sitting while sick in bed. I'm partial to the character Gingalain already but this was way more developed as a story than the French version. I loved all the characters including his mother Florie, the lady knight Marine, and Wigalois's lady love, Larie. She's a little bit magic? It seems Tolkien himself may have taken inspiration from this? Obviously I can't be sure but Larie seems to bake Lembas bread for Wigalois which restores his strength with a single bite! (The textual reasoning is the bread of the Last Supper but elven bread is more fun.) Wigalois also wears a mail shirt which prevents his death against a dragon which reminded me of the Mithril mail that Thorin gave to Bilbo then Bilbo gave to Frodo which protected him from being crushed by the troll in Khazad-dûm. So anyway point being you would like this one haha. After Wigalois and Larie marry, she's accepted as part of the family so she calls Gawain daddy it's so cute. I love Wigalois's funky jeweled belt he got from his mommy too what a look.

📖 What was your favorite Modern retelling you read this year? (Single book)

Answered here, but another besides those two would be a tentative recommendation for Bedivere: The King's Right Hand by Wayne Wise. I really love the set up. That was 10/10 no notes. Without spoiling too much, there's a frame story similar to Bernard Cornwell's Warlord Chronicles so Bedivere is an old man writing out his life story and the perspective will switch between old man Bedi and kid Bedi. Wise does some clever things here, such as writing a history for the older generation that foreshadows what's to come. Ector was Uther's seneschal, and Bedwyr, the father of Bedivere, was with Uther in his last moments. All the older guys call Bedivere "Griflet" because Bedwyr's symbol was the griffon, so little Bedi is a little Griffon. Very sweet and clever, even if I like Griflet as his own character. Lucan is Bedivere's older brother, which surprised me because Bedivere has such older brother energy, but it works, and their mom is a character present in the village as well. Arthur is Bedivere's bestie and his characterization is wonderful, he's great. Kay's older than them both and can be a jerk but the narrative reassures the reader he's a good guy. I like all the characters in their little band of future nobles: Gawain, Agravaine, Owain, Lancelot, and Guinevere. My biggest gripe is that Guinevere is much younger than the others so it feels weird when her father talks about marrying her to one of these noble sons who are at least 5 years older, which matters when she is only 13. Ick. I also don't like any retelling which writes Arthur in love with his sister, in this case Morgan. (Morgause is still there as a separate character as wife of Lot, mother of Gawain and Agravaine, implied Gaheris and Gareth but they are off page babies.) The book was meant to be set up for a series which as of yet hasn't come to fruition, so I'm counting it as a single book. A shame really but there it is. Another one that has a really sour ending. But overall there was more good than bad.

🎨 What was your favorite Arthurian art piece made by YOU this year? (Any medium)

I didn't make much unfortunately so I have to give it to Laurel and Agravaine. The lavender marriage to raise the bar for all other lavender marriages.

[this-acuteneurosis]

Regarding Jango/Satine:

I’ve been thinking about it, but not because I think you’re going to do it or anything. Rather because I’ve always been FASCINATED by the systems where monarchy is hereditary, through the female line, and each Queen is expected to marry a man who is what the country needs (usually the greatest warrior, but sometimes the wisest, or the most diplomatic or whatever).

I read one theory that that’s why so many princesses and queens get kidnapped in old myths and fairytales - Helen was the rightful ruler of Sparta, as was Guinevere in some old versions, and the reason Paris of Troy/Mordred took them is because by marrying the women, they get the kingdom.

Anywho, combine that with my love of “we hate each other but this marriage has to work to save the world” and you can see why I ship Satine/Jango. Their union would be rough, but would theoretically solve a lot of Madalore’s problems.

That’s probably not why everyone else is shipping them, but I thought I’d share my reason.

Love your writing!!! Thank you so much for everything you do! Every time there’s an update my mom, my husband, my brother, and I all get really excited and discuss it. ❤️

I understand why people generally would want to ship Satine and Jango. I am a fan of a marriage of convenience/arranged marriage story myself.

I guess the parts that shocked me were the "bitter...exes" and "enemies to lovers vibes." Because in this fic Satine and Jango didn't know each other, and Obi-Wan is right there getting the cold shoulder from his bitter ex. Also, for me the foundation of a good enemies to lovers is respect and understanding of the other person even when you're enemies, and there's...none of that with this Satine and Jango? They do not respect each other, and they don't really understand each other or try to either.

Idk, I guess I was so surprised not by the concept of the pairing, but by people bringing it to this fic specifically.

[rachelbethhines]

Reblog with 5 TV Shows that You are Currently Watching

Little Princess Sara

Technically it's actually just one season of a larger anthology series called World Masterpiece Theater, but it has 46 episodes making it longer than several modern day shows, so I'm counting it at it's own thing.

It's an adaptation of one of my favorite novels A Little Princess. And unlike most adaptations, it actually adds things rather than cutting stuff. You can find the subbed version on YouTube.

The Adventures of Lancelot

If you're a Classic Doctor Who fan, particularly of Hartnell, then you'll want to check this series out. It's basically just Ian running around as a knight of the round table and having a poly relationship with King Arthur and Queen Guinevere rather than turning traitor.

It's free to watch on Tubi.

Amazing Hotels: Life Beyond the Lobby

This show helped me back during the first Trump disaster and I just found out that they've made more seasons, so I've returned to this little comfort show a second time around.

It's your typical travel series, showing off fancy places you'll never afford to visit yourself, but the series takes the time to follow and interview the actual people working to run these places, both upper management and regular employees and it provides a real look at the pros and cons of globalization.

It's a BBC show, so there's multiple places to find it. I'm currently watching it on Roku.

The Equalizer

I started watching this one with my mom. We don't agree on a lot of things, but we both decided that we liked this one.

She's a fan of police procedurals and murder mysteries. I like heist movies and 'robin hood/conmen' type characters. So this show strikes a balance between the two, believe it or not.

My sister is letting my mom use her Paramount account. I don't know where else to watch it besides on regular tv.

Glove and Boots

Man, I miss Glove and Boots.

I especially miss the gaming live streams.

Anyways I've been going through their older works whenever I need a good laugh.

Their YouTube account is still up, but the vast majority of their back catalog, including the game streams, is on Vimeo.

[pamsimmerstories]

they always got each other's back!

previous || next

-

[avery]: is everything okay? you never come to visit

[guinevere]: i just wanted to check if collin is okay. since delia is gone he’s always quiet and don’t interact much

[avery]: i know. but he’s okay. and this is about charlie being here. he wanted to see if she was gonna adapt. because he has a business trip tomorrow

[guinevere]: i know. i’m worried with both. charlie feels alone. mom tries her best and griff and i... we are always out because of college

[avery]: and mor is being a little brat. i know. don’t worry! charlie has mal and the girls here. earlier she made cookies with freya and now she’s calling her mom. i’m sure she’s going to be okay

[guinevere]: great! what about collin? should we do something?

[collin]: what about minding your own business?

[guinevere]: we’re just worried, cole. it’s almost two years!

[avery]: i haven’t said anything.

[guinevere]: wow! thanks a lot, avery!

[avery]: i hated when people tried to intervened in my life back then... i won’t do that to him.

[collin]: thanks, avery!

[guinevere]: you two are like in your own circle and the other siblings don’t matter

[collin]: it’s because we’re twins! you and griff are the same

[guinevere]: fair.

[avery]: i wish i could say the same about lav and rose. they are just babies, but i swear...

[guinevere]: good luck!

[fromtheboundlesssea]

HotD Season 2 Episode 2 Live Watch Thoughts

Seriously, I absolutely adore this new opening style. I really hope that they continue with this for the coming seasons (and in the other shows). The tapestry stuff is so pretty! Like I’m actually willing to watch through it. I usually just skip intros after watching them the first time.

Ugh. The bloody sheet. 😭

And now there are a ton of people 🫥 where were they before?

And Cole got dressed fast.

AND DESTROY THAT STUPID LEGO SET AEGON!

DECLARE WAR

ooooooo is Aemond going to find out that he was the one targeted? Are we not even going to get a proper reaction to him being told that his nephew is dead?

Man Otto looks shaken.

Take all of Alicent’s pain and give it to Daemon.

CALL HIM BY HIS NAME!

“But what they’ve done to my girl” 😭😭😭😭😭

I hate that Alicent is always made to feel as though she is at fault for everything but NONE of the other characters seem to feel the same sort of guilt, worthily had or otherwise?

Oooooooof yelling at Criston!

“The sanctity of my family!” 😭

“The Bitch Queen of Bastards” is a killer title though.

“You wished her life to be spared!” I’M—

THEY WERE GOING TO HAVE HIM TALE JAEHAERYS’ HEAD!!!??? 😭

Who else would it be random dude I have yet to know the name of (Jasper)? Who else? Sure someone who wants to start conflict.

Why are Rhaenys’ actions not viewed negatively? She killed hundreds of people.

“I will not have my little son’s body dragged through the street like a dead dog” WHERE ARE THE EMMYS?!?!

TOM MY LOVE YOU DESERVE THE WORLD FOR YOUR ACTING

AEGON LOOKING TO HIS MOM!

“My darling” 😭😭😭😭😭😭🤣🤣

HELAENA!!!!!

“I don’t want them closer. I don’t know them.” MY BABY

“This is for my boy” 😭

Why would you still use the goldcloaks? Especially since we don’t have Alicent’s brother leading them yet?

THE HEAD SHAKING MORE THAN THE BODY!!!!!!!

YOU CHILD MURDERER DO NOT GET TO ACT SO SORRY AND LIP TREMBLING!!!!!

THE SEWN HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOSH THIS IS LIKE ROBB ALL OVER AGAIN!

“Are you going to hurt me?” YOU MURDERED A CHILD!

The petals like ashes 😭

My poor child who does not want to be touched 😭

GIVE THE CHILD SOME DIGNITY IN HIS FUNERAL!

GIRL YOU PUBLICLY ASKED FOR YOUR RECENTLY WOUNDED BROTHER TO BE SHARPLY QUESTIONED!

DAEMON YOU ARE A MONSTER!

Girl, you have shown no interest in your sister until it now suits you.

Rhaenys is catching on.

You are not even talking about how that CHILD is your nephew.

Whichever twin do you wonder if things would have been different had you stayed?

Good Rhaenyra seems to have caught on too.

Good. Don’t believe him Rhaenyra. He destroys so much of your good PR. People think he killed his first wife and murdered your first husband! People are going to assume bad things!

GIRL.

Good call him out. But why did you not notice all these things when PEOPLE POINTED THIS OUT TO YOU.

Do not like Rhaenyra, but get the HECK AWAY FROM HER DAEMON

OOOOOO still calling it his brother’s throne instead of Rhaenyra’s!!!!

Emma out here with their acting!

Rhaenyra. Rhaenyra mention your brother! Mention Baelon!

Ooooo Daemon calling out why part of Viserys named her heir.

Emma is so gorgeous. I am distracted.

“It was a mistake” this entire war is based on mistakes and misunderstandings apparently.

Yay! Baela talked!

Ooooo! Baela and Rhaenyra will actually have a conversation!

So Baela is going to watch King’s Landing?

Is it just me or does Baela’s dress sort of remind you guys of the ribbing of Sansa’s coronation dress? That ribbing embroidery thing? At first I thought it might be meant to mirror Rhaenyra’s dress, but it looks more like Sansa’s coronation dress.

Oh good. Helaena has ladies.

AEGON AND HELAENA! My babies are hurt!

Do you think this is the same nursery Criston watched the Green kids grow up in?

Rhaenyra sort of staring at her kids.

I wish we saw them interacting more with the babies.

My guilt ridden babies. They are Guinevere and Lancelot coded and it hurts.

But honestly, I wish this episode had been their first sex scene and the implied first time they have ever had sex. But you know. Game of Thrones. HBO. They have to make one woman be the sex-ed character. Who cares about writing?

all the guys getting up and leaving is SOOOOO funny. It’s giving “calling my significant other’s full name in front of his family”

Acting is giving this episode. I will give them that.

I like that while the Green twin does not like being question, you can tell he is not fully angry because he knows that everyone is angry about this.

Is Criston the one to send the Green twin to kill Rhaenyra in the book? I know the twins fight, but is this how it is initiated?

I wish we actually saw more of the twins before episode 9 so we could care a little more that the twins die. Both of them die don’t they?

Ooo Baela and Jace are going to talk?

“Too many empty seats” maybe because a child was murdered?

You hate your dad Baela? Would have loved some characterization last season.

You definitely have Dad issues Jace.

Wish we saw Laenor be a dad. Like actual parenting. Time skips really robbed us of growing to like characters.

You’re asking about Harwin?

Are you flirting while talking somewhat casually about Jace’s bastardry?

They really did find an actress that kind of looks like Phia for whatever this prostitute is going to be used for.

Also, if this is in King’s Landing, that prostitute might have been one of the women Daemon would have went after.

Good lord. No. Really. Aemond deserves more.

Ewan is also skinny. I can see that boy’s ribs!

“When prince’s lose their temper it is others that suffer” is a great line wasted on a character who seemingly preyed on a child.

Oh, Hugh has a kid? Is that canon to the books? OH! That was one of the women at the funeral crying over Jaehaerys.

“Did he say when?” Probably better to ask if he promised before HIS SON WAS MURDERED!

Addam! I wish he had white hair so I could use him as a faceclaim. But I get it. Who wants an ugly wig distracting from the beautiful face?

Interesting. Are Alyn and Addam going to serve as an older version of Jace and Luke?

Post sex Corlys and Rhaenys?

“Let us take him at his word.” Why? What has he done to inspire so much confidence when he already is the reason for the murder of a CHILD

Why is Mysaria granted the title of Lady?

“I had nothing to do with it” you are connected.

Does Rhaenyra not remember Mysaria? They met in episode 2 last season? I think she was even named in his letter as his “wife” and future mother of a bastard?

Oh good. Now she remembers.

Is that the actress’ actual accent?

“I have no interest…” Mysaria, again, why would she trust you?

Mysaria’s character is so confusing. I think it’s partially because she doesn’t have any sort of characterization.

Mysaria, are you not still a whore? You are just a madam now?

How did you get that scar?

Again, the spaces inbetween episodes are so important. And I don’t watch the after the episode stuff because if it’s not in the episode then I won’t use it to cloud my judgement of what is going on.

Is Alyn going to claim Seasmoke? So is Laenor just going to be dead? Or are they going to make it so dragons can claim more than one person? Or is Laenor alive and to keep up the facade is just going to pretend to be Alyn?

“What did they do?” At least inform the people why the boys are hung.

Poor dog lost his child murdering master.

“Oh~ I had them hanged.” I’m sorry that choice is 🤣

No, but why would you not state that the rat catchers are some how connected to the murder of a prince?

That gaze shift from Criston was a “don’t drag me into this” look

If people get annoyed with Criston calling Rhaenyra a bitch then they need to go after Daemon with the same amount of energy. He has said it WAY more.

“You never think of your father” HE BARELY KNEW HIS FATHER BECAUSE HIS FATHER DID NOT CARE TO KNOW HIM

Viserys is the reason the realm has gotten to this point Otto.

“He was right about you.” Viserys had no thought about his son at all to have an opinion.

Would have loved to see more of a relationship between Otto and his grandchildren so all of this could feel more weighted.

And Criston does not want this. 😬

“You will regret this” Otto you need to figure out how to talk to people. You are smarter than this.

Why would you trust someone Daemon trusted?

Oh? Mysaria is going to be sent away? Okay. The point then?

Oh, is she going to notice the Green twin? Is that her only purpose then? Girl? You are about to be free! Why do you care? (Jk. I know it’s for plot)

Again. I wish I knew these brothers and Mysaria more so I can feel the weight of their actions. Mysaria’s need for freedom being thrown away or make it obvious that she is trying to curry favor. Something.

And Emma’s color is blue.

The man also doesn’t know his way around Dragonstone. It’s a stupid plan.

Why is this scene building more tension than Blood and Cheese by flipping between the Green twin and Rhaenyra? Like???? This is how B&C should have been set up?

Also, if you knew someone had a twin on the other side, why would you not do something to distinguish them?

WHY IS THIS SCENE GETTING MORE TENSION?!?!?!?

Jk, again, I know why, it’s for the sake of making the Blacks ALWAYS looking better and deserving more sympathy.

Again, I would care more about these twins if I knew them

Once more. This tension would have been better served for B&C.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CANNOT STAY THERE OTTO?!?!?!?

DAERON MENTION!?!?!?!? He exists?

“The young are peacocks” does that not also describe Viserys too?

“I have sinned.” “I do not wish to hear of it.” The only actual father-daughter relationship that has any sort of solid development.

Loved the close up on Aegon’s short finger nails and Viserys’ ring.

AND ALICENT TALK TO YOUR SON. Ugh. But no. Let’s just have Alicent be used for the necessary sex scenes needed in a GoT/HBO show instead of having more character plot with her children.

I do think this would have been a better introduction to them having sex.

This was a meh episode.

Thoughts on the promo for Episode 3:

So Jace won’t be the one to suggest the dragonseed?

Also, where was Rhaena? I thought she was in the promo for episode 2?

[meoawa]

Order of summoning and circumstances of some summoners and servants(mostly just Artoria and Tart)

Illya was brought to Fuyuki during the fourth war and thus aged normally and also acquires the Emiya crest. She summons Archer at the cannon time then starts badgering Shirou to summon Saber.

Shirou, with help from Illya, Sakura, and Rin has a better time with his magecraft and picks up blacksmithing after learning his element and origin. He summons Saber a week after Illya.

Rin summons Caster who, after parsing the Great Grail war Rules, drags Rin to the Emiya household and tells Shirou that he will teach him everything he knows after barging in and explaining things, much to the concern and confusion of Illya, Shirou, and Sakura, who was staying over that night.

Sakura is rescued from her canon fate by the magus tradition for siblings that share a soulmate being having the sibling that doesn't get the crest find their own path. She summons Rider the next day

The other three masters of red are found and brought to the Emiya Household.

Artoria is much better mentally with Camelot lasting beyond her reign, the Lancelot-Guinevere affair being openly being between soulmates with one in a political marriage, teaching Mordred to be a good king, and her deal with Alaya being for the ability to reach her soulmates naturally(see Lion_of_Avalon's Pursuit of the dream on AO3https://archiveofourown.org/works/34621243/chapters/86187268)

The Magia Record plot happens and is resolved/averted a year after the end of Homura's timeloops, leading to there being a doppel field encompassing all of Japan by the time of the grail war. The Wings of Magius eventually figure out how to reverse the transformation into a Witch and soon Wraiths start to spawn within the Doppel field.

Kyoko Madoka and Oriko summon their servants while Homura is in Europe looking for Catalysts.

For Catalysts Homura finds Riz's Witch and Mordred's lance, and potentially a few minor catalysts for the others.

Sayaka summons Mordred expecting her to be Saber/Lancer, but gets Saber/Avenger because of Morgan le Fay having Been summoned as Caster of Black.

Homura is the last of the Purple team to summon as she needed to purify Riz's Greif seed into a soul gem, get a new body for her, and then finally enlist her help in summoning Tart.

The location of the hidden crypt containing Liz/Riz's witch was provided by a Mirror Witch clone early on in Homura's loops.

Mordred died of old age. She also took one look at Shirou's soulmarks and immediately calls him mom in front of Sakura and Taiga(who was read into the Moonlit world just an hour earlier after noticing the command seals.)

Soulmates who are extremely temporally separated tend to have the ones from earlier in the time stream encounter temporal anomalies in their teens so they live happy lives together. Alaya is the force behind the time travel and obviously extorts some Counter Guardian time from anyone usable as one, sometimes adding to their legend, most relevantly with Tart by having her disappear just moments before the flames of the Pyre touched her.

[honeybadger-has-a-grimoire]

Homemade Pumpkin Spice Creamer!

Hello, everyone! It’s Clover and I know it’s been a long while, but here is the Pumpkin Spice Creamer recipe for all my kitchen witches out there!

So the Pumpkin Spice creamer recipe is a bit of a spin on Jennie Blonde’s/the Comfy Cozy Witch’s Pumpkin Spice Syrup—my mom found out how much sugar goes into it and was like “NO! That is way too much sugar!”… and then proceeded to not fully wrap her head around it being a syrup versus a creamer. So, with her help, I tinkered a bit and came up with my favorite pumpkin spice creamer ever.

It’s great magickally as well, a lot of the spices used tend to have some sort of connection to abundance, vitality, and health—looking at you guys, Ginger and Cinnamon—as well as having some good relaxant effects on the brain (like Nutmeg). Plus a pinch of salt goes a long way to balance the taste and add a small bit of protection to anyone or anything!

Now, let’s talk about ingredients!

What You Will Need:

1. Two cups of heavy cream

2. At MOST a can of condensed milk — as much to taste, but don’t exceed a can. Condensed milk has a lot of sugar.

3. Three-quarters cup of pumpkin puree (I used the canned puree but homemade is fine too)

4. Pumpkin Pie spice to taste

5. Pinch of salt.

6. A small saucepan

7. A funnel

8. A glass, air-tight jar – I used the bustelo instant coffee jar. (Side note, those jars are amazing! You can use them for anything!)

Steps:

In a saucepan, pour two cups of heavy cream and stir as it’s brought to a low boil.

Pour the rest of your ingredients into the saucepan and continue to stir as creamer boils on low heat for about five to fifteen minutes.

Taste your creamer with a cup of coffee.

When finished, take your creamer off the stove and cool for an hour. Then take your glass jar, place a funnel on top to avoid spilling, and then pour the creamer into the jar.

Seal the jar up tight, and date it before putting it in the fridge. This lasted me for about a month.

Enjoy with your morning cup of coffee!

How To Add Some Kitchen Witchery:

When I made this creamer, I mainly used it as a protection and abundance spell. The weather was slowly turning and the nights were getting longer. I decided to ask for protection and help with survival from the gods as my family and I are not in the best of financial situations. My parents are doing all they can to get us out of it relatively unscathed, and we still have our house which I am entirely grateful for, but I figured some prayers and magick wouldn’t hurt either.

Salt is a great seasoning for protection due to its cleansing properties (protecting you from infections and cleaning wounds), and its connection to the earth which is an element I always connect with stability and protection. As for the pumpkin pie spices, they include spices commonly associated with spells dealing with abundance—cinnamon, ginger, all spice, etc.

While the pumpkin, and squashes in general, get associated with protection and abundance in my head due to their tough skin and, in Indigenous Agriculture, their use in the Three Sisters Farming method which allows for a plentiful and healthy crop when paired with Corn and Lima Beans. (I learned about that fun fact from Braiding Sweetgrass. It’s a book I highly recommend as someone who had no knowledge of any American Indigenous culture beforehand.)

But what really makes this spell work is its dedication.

The Pumpkin Spice Creamer I dedicated to Sir Cei/Kay, King Arthur’s foster brother and Steward of Camelot (at least in the Death of Arthur).

Across Arthuriana, Sir Kay has a lot of roles—trusted right hand of Arthur, Steward, the boastful foster brother, cook, and teacher to the next generation of knights being a few. With this in mind, I always considered Sir Kay the Arthurian Deity/Spirit of Hearth and Home. He protects his family (Arthur, Guinevere, and the Knights of the Round Table), in some kinder versions of the mythos, is a good steward and cook, and has a soft spot for kids.

Therefore, as I mixed the pinch of salt in my spice bowl with pumpkin pie spice, I asked for his protection over my house. As I stirred the ingredients in the saucepan, I asked for his blessings to help us pay bills and to be able to make the money we need to live happily.

I asked him for wellness of hearth and home—meanwhile offering my creamer and cup of coffee I used it with every morning to him as a thank you.

And it worked, which is all I can ask for.

Conclusion

The conclusion is quite simple. This Pumpkin Spice creamer was more of an act of honoring a hearth and home deity, as well as my own hearth and home in general, which makes this spell a lot more personal to write about. It worked because I wanted to connect with a certain deity that I felt a strong connection to despite not reading much about him yet.

Sir Kay slid easily into my life and practice as a Kitchen Witch that I was thoroughly surprised and thankful for. And honest to the gods, this creamer represents that entirely with how I made it and treated it.

But with that out of the way, I hope you enjoy it! If you make it, tell me how it goes and how much you liked it!

Sincerely,

Clover Constantine

[paintbrushnebula]

don't ask me what that random stroke in the corner is because I frankly don't know how it got there

I'm like in the middle of the first chapter of @lokoteibex 's Sunshine fanfic and I spontaneously drew what I imaged Edmund is supposed to look like in the fic.

I think he's supposed to be younger here, since I'm sure the first chapter takes place in the past and Guinevere seems like she's set to be Eugene's mom, again I'm barely through the first chapter but im already hooked. See, when I grow attached to fanfics, I always have to have these drawn/photographic references of what the stuff I'm reading about looks like according to my imagination (idk if I described that correctly)

can people read my posts. I almost failed standard English comp last semester bc my writing lacked English level syntax writing or whatever and I get the feeling my texts don't convey what I'm trying to explain very good. Although I think this one particular post seems pretty eloquent now that I'm looking at it. It's really all my other posts though. whatever like, I passed English comp and now I'm taking intro to literature, so come next month you'll see im gonna be at a Shakespearean level of eloquence, and when readers/listeners have trouble following along on my sentences, it won't be because my grammar is bad. It'll be because I'll be a sophisticated parnassian. I like that word "Parnassian". I just found out that word exists just so I could finish this post with an elaborate, unfunny tangent. It's a cool word though. I'm storing this word in my vocabulary. bite me.

[monsterswithimagines]

Undisclosed Desires - Part 31

Joe Goldberg x female!Reader

Summary: Twenty minutes before he would have met Guinevere Beck, Joe meets you instead. You intruige him, but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you.

Words: I keep adding the amount of words and then making edits on tumblr and the words are never accurate. At this point either read or don't.

Masterlist

You guys are not ready for this. I wasn't ready for this. It took 31 parts to get here and I still kinda think it's too soon.

Welp. Anyway.

When I get back to the bus station, it's too late to catch the final bus, and you're not answering your phone.

I don't know how to get a cab in this fucking country, so I have to walk five miserable miles back to the AirBnB. Fucking fuck. It's dark and it's raining and there are no street lights, because most of the walk goes through the fields. Shit fuck shit.

When I finally get back, I want a shower, and I want to sleep forever.

And you are sitting on the couch, your knees pulled to your chest.

The TV is not on. You are not reading a book. You are facing the front door, waiting for me.

But whatever it is, I can't react, because I don't know anything and why are you looking at me like that? You're just staring at me. You don't say anything. It's getting a little creepy.

I can tell right away, just from the look on your face, that you've already gotten the news. But what have you heard? I made it look like an overdose, but I don't know if you were aware your mother had a drug problem. You never made it sound like she did. Maybe you think she killed herself on purpose.

Or maybe you don't think anything at all. Maybe you're just heartbroken.

You have not been crying. Are you in shock?

“Are you okay?” I ask, hanging up my coat casually because I don't know anything. I just came from Amsterdam, where I walked around and looked at old buildings and I don't have any fucking pictures to back that up.

You don't answer.

“It's sure pouring down out there,” I say. “I need a shower and a change of clo–”

“Why?” you interrupt.

I turn to you.

“Well, I'm cold.”

“Why did you kill my mother, Joe?”

What?

“What?”

“I didn't want you to do that,” you continue. “You can't have possibly thought I would ever want you to do that.”

“What are you talking about?” I ask, shaking my head. “Your mom's dead?”

“Don't do that,” you say. And the thing is, you don't sound angry. You don't sound any particular way. We could be talking about the weather but you say: “don't act like you didn't do it.”

“I didn't– I don’t know what you're talking about.”

I try to sound worried and confused, but even I can tell I'm failing at that particular tone. There's too much panic to convey anything else.

“You follow me,” you say. “You break into my place. You steal my stuff and you think I don't notice. At first I try to distance myself from you but it's not like you're as bad as what I’m used to and I actually like you, so I get over it and I just let you. I mean, it's not like you're actually dangerous, right?”

This is not good.

“But then I complain about Jasper, and he turns up dead. And I think… surely not. The guy had a problem. Surely my boyfriend didn't kill him.” You stand up. You're angry now.

I'm scared for us, (Y/n).

“And I ignore it. Like I ignore all of it. And I fall in love with you.”

“(Y/n)–”

“But then I get back to this country,” you say. “And Mitch. Fucking Mitch! And I think… I think to myself. There's no way Joe hurt Jasper but if he did–”

“Listen to me.”

“If he did!” you shout, and somehow you've walked up to me and you're poking me in the chest and you're right in my face. You're crying now, but you're so angry. I have never been this terrified. “I mean, I didn't think you would! I left my phone out knowing you'd check it and I thought: no way, right?” You cackle. “But yes, yes you did. And the worst part? I suspected it and I thought you might and I let it happen anyway.”

“You need to calm down.”

“And what do I do? I ignore it! I tell you the whole story like you didn't already know all of it–”

“I didn't!”

“–and I pretend I don't know that you killed him and I lie to the cops for you and you killed him. You fucking killed Mitch–”

“Stop!”

You slam against the wall.

No, you don't just slam against it, I push you. My hands are on your wrists beside your head and you're struggling. What am I doing? I don't want to hurt you. I'm not going to hurt you.

But you are so angry. I let you go and I try to step away, but you follow me, slapping at my chest.

“I didn't want you to kill her! Not her! Not her!”

You could hurt me, if you wanted to. You're not weak. But this is the worst you're doing and you want me to calm you down. I just don't know how. Not without hurting you, or putting you in the cage for a while - which is obviously not an option right now.

“(Y/n),” I say. “Please.”

And I'm holding you again, except holding is the wrong word because you are against the wall and I've got your arm twisted and I am pressing your head sideways against the grainy paint. That's going to leave a mark. Stop. stop!

“You can't just go on a fucking murder spree anytime somebody upsets me!” You shout. You are too loud. “What if I have a fight with Nadia? Or my grandparents? Or my boss doesn't give me a raise–”

“I would never hurt Nadia. She's your best friend.”

“You killed my mother!”

“She was ruining your life!”

We fall silent and you're breathing too loudly, you might start hyperventilating if I let this go on.

But what do I say? There's nothing to say. I've just admitted everything to you, and…

“You knew,” I say. My grip slackens, and you could pull loose but you don't. “How did you know?”

“I saw you following me,” you whisper. “And my landlady saw you go in after some guy came to check for a leak, or something, I don't know.” You pause. Clear your throat. “It seemed logical to assume you were the one taking my shit.”

“You didn't say anything.”

I let you go. I step back again. You turn, pressing your back against the wall.

“I didn't care, Joe.” You close your eyes, press the palms of your hands against them like you can somehow shut out the sight of me. “What's some stuff? What's a look at my phone? What's wanting to know where I am or what I'm doing? I'm in love with you. You could just ask. What does it fucking matter?”

You're in love with me, present tense. I want to hold on to that, but what if you only say it that way out of habit?

“And Jasper,” you say. “I mean… I didn't actually think… I thought I was a sick, fucked up person for even allowing the thought to come to mind.”

“You left your phone out so I'd see Mitch's texts?” I ask. But what I think is: did you manipulate me into killing your stalker for you?

“The tiniest, tiniest part of me thought you would see those texts and– and–”

But you can't even say the words.

You didn't manipulate me, (Y/n). At least not consciously.

“And I felt so guilty after,” you add. “I didn't want to know.”

I forgive you.

“He was a monster,” I say. “He deserved it. If you wanted me to kill him, I wouldn't blame you.”

You glare at me.

“He was sick. You can't just say he deserved to die. I mean, God, Joe. When he stalks me he's a creep, but when you do it, it's just fine and dandy?”

“I don't send you thousands of texts! I don't threaten to hurt you if you don't speak to me for five minutes!” I realize I'm shouting, and lower my voice. “I would never hurt you.”

“Just everyone I love?”

“No,” I say, firm. “It's not like that.”

“Then what's it like, Joe?” you ask, tearing up again.

“I–”

“Tell me something that makes this okay, that makes killing my mother–” Your voice breaks. “Please tell me how it's okay.”

“I… can't,” I say.

I have my reasons, (Y/n). But even if I thought you could really, truly understand them, I don't want you to. I don't want you to have to face the darkness I face every day.

I don’t want to break you like that.

“You can't do this,” you say softly. “You can't. I need to be able to talk to you when I feel– things, without worrying you're going to…” You stop.

“What are you saying?” I ask slowly.

“I will never forgive you for this,” you say.

“I understand.”

“Never. She's– She was my mother, and I loved her so much and she's gone. Because of you.”

“I'm sorry,” I say.

“No. Don't even start. I want no apology or explanation or justification from you. I don't want to know. I don't want to know how you did it, or why, or to who else. I don't want to know if you liked it or if you would do it again or if you want to do it again.”

And I am. Not for killing her, but for how you feel about it. I never wanted you to feel such pain. I only wanted to save you from it.

“I didn't like–”

“I don't want to know,” you stress. “And you can't do it again. I mean not– Not to people I know. Even if I hate them. Even if I ask you to in those exact words. Not ever.”

“I'm not asking you to look away,” I say.

I'm not, (Y/n). I don't want you to.

“Then what do I do?” you ask, coldly. “Do I break up with you? Do I run from you screaming? And what will happen to me if I do?”

“Nothing.” I need you to believe that.

“I don't believe you, Joe.”

So that's where we stand, then.

You know everything about me and you are afraid of me. But you're not walking away.

It's all I've ever wanted: for someone to see me exactly as I am, and stay. My mother saw my darkness and left me. Candace saw my darkness and tried to run away.

But you're here. You're looking me in the eyes, and you're staying.

Why does it hurt?

[gellavonhamster]

reading the post-vulgate, part 1 (the merlin continuation)

"The eldest was called Gawain, the second Gaheriet, the third Agravain, and the fourth Guerrehet" no fucking way they're in a different order again. When will it end

if Merlin knows everything that will happen, why does he go on about how he won't tell Arthur who the knight destined to destroy the kingdom is because he doesn't want to kill a child? A lot more children are going to die because this bitch is refusing to be specific

finally Yvain is Morgan's son again, this was Bothering me

Mordred hit his head as an infant so hard that the scar remained for all his life. This is potential for his brothers making jokes in the vein of "and that's why he is like that" later

in this version, the father of Sagremor the Unruly is also called the Unruly, making it their surname, I guess, which is funny, even though at a later point in Chapter 59 the narrator changes his mind and says that it was Kay who gave Sagremor this nickname

big fan of the fact that Mordred and Sagremor are raised together - there's something cute about a doomed-by-the-narrative goth and a reckless fun guy being childhood friends. And then one of them kills the other :)))

oh, the May babies are rescued in this one! Nice

brief glimpses of some fairy drama as the lady who was girded with the sword that Balin could remove "owed allegiance to the lady called the Lady of the Isle of Avalon" and the one that wanted her killed for killing her father was the one that helped Arthur take Excalibur from the hand in the lake

"In this place will meet in battle the two most faithful lovers of their time" sounds like Lancelot and Tristan will be each other's lovers and the battle in question will be their meet-cute

"For [King Lot] is the one in my land in whom I would have trusted most in great need, and for whom I would have done most" buddy, you slept with his wife.

Gawain is eleven years old when he swears to kill Pellinor for killing his father! And the adults at the funeral praise him for such noble intentions! God!!!

yesss this version supports my headcanon that Yvain's animal-befriending powers are a result of Morgan experimenting with various magic while she was pregnant with him

seriously, would everything that eventually happens had ever happened if Merlin wasn't walking around telling people "you will kill him, and you will kill him, and one of these two boys you're raising will kill the other", thus making everyone think it's inevitable?

you know what would've made reading this easier and more enjoyable? If I cared about Balin

according to this one, there should be 150 Knights of the Round Table

I like that Guinevere is being referred to as "valiant"

"for no adventure that may happen, unless mortal peril is to come of it, may a knight who is sitting at table stir before he has eaten" is a good custom, more contemporary jobs should follow it

Tor's mom is great (loved it when she rebuked Merlin and everyone laughed) and I can't wait for Gawain to kill Pellinor

Kay being described as "a good enough knight, but not as good as the others" lmao

my brain refuses to perceive young Bademagu. This is a middle-aged man with (at least?) two adult children

“Now come forward and see a king’s daughter wield a sword” is one hell of a line

yelling @ the maiden/mother/crone ladies making fun of Gawain being short

I imagine Gaheris here speaking in a very patient voice that simultaneously verges on hysterics because he's so fucking exasperated

I thought this text might change my opinion on Gaheris for the better, but then the matricide part came, with "But it was his opinion that the lady should be blamed and humiliated" and "Then he put his hand on his sword and wished to kill his mother, but he would leave the knight, because he seemed too handsome and valiant, and he was disarmed", and nope, still hate that guy

like what the fuck is WRONG with you!!!

oh I am seething right now

"for they were tired, although they had not yet done anything" meeee