#guest disaster slider

[wearerandomlyyours]

Slider:*Bursts into the TopGun rec room and slams the door behind him* Who wants to make 50 bucks? Maverick: How? Viper:*outside* Oh my God! Iceman: What did you do? Slider: Yes or no? No questions asked! Viper:*getting louder* Oh my GOD! Maverick: Make it 100. Slider: OK. Slider: *Grabs Mav by the collar* You're a good Wingman. Viper: *Utter disbelief* OH MY GOD! Slider:*Drags Mav out the door* Don't worry Commander! I got him!

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 3

Episode 18: Live and Dangerous Part 2

"Ooo! Frankini is about to start a livestream!" Piper Hart squealed as she stood in her living room with Charlotte and Jasper. The teen girl was still on babysitting duty, whilst Jasper had just turned up out of the blue because without Henry or Junk-N-Stuff being open, things were pretty boring. 

All three of them were completely oblivious to the dire situation currently being forced upon Henry, Ray and (y/n), they were just excited to see that Frankini was about to make his big announcement. The world was waiting for the start, unaware of how Swellview's crimefighters were under that lycra-wearing weirdo's control, hours away from total disaster. 

"Interesting." Charlotte nodded, wondering why the celeb was starting one now at such short notice. He'd barely advertised it, which was unusual because he loved to draw it out and tease the hell out of his viewers.

"Yeah, wonder if Frankini is gonna have any special guests on the livestream," Jasper suggested, raising his eyebrows at Charlotte, who just shushed him with a smirk stretched across her face. They couldn't let Piper pick up on what they secretly knew, but they had to admit, it was fun to be in the know.

"Well, we're about to find out...You guys! Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger are with Frankini!" Piper squealed as the web page finally loaded, revealing that the guy was standing with Ray, Henry and (y/n) smiling brightly at the camera. On the inside, the three superheroes were dying, but outwardly, all but their eyes appeared normal. 

"Wow..." Jasper "gasped", pretending that he was just as shocked as she was, although on the inside he was smirking from how he'd known about the special appearance for a few days.

"Okay, welcome to a surprise livestream with my insanely special guests, Captain Man, Kid Danger and the lovely, Miss Danger!" Frankini grinned into the camera whilst Goomer raised two sliders on the control panel, causing the three heroes to shakily raise their hands and wave at the viewers. The viewer count was rocketing as the word spread about Ray, Henry and (y/n) being online, meaning it was only a matter of time before they reached ten million and Frankini carried out his terrible plan.

"Uh, what are Kid Danger, Captain Man, and Miss Danger wearing?" Charlotte asked the two sitting with her. She had no idea why they had agreed to put on such garish pants, especially (y/n) since she was usually so shy, but she assumed that Frankini must have really charmed them or something.

"I don't know." Piper shook her head and continued to focus on the livestream, watching as the viewer count went past one and a half million people and Frankini carried on doing what he did best.

"Now, to entertain you, my friend, Captain Man has asked if he, his girlfriend and Kid Danger can perform a scene from their favourite movie, A Swim To Forget." Frankini breathed out the movie dramatically, moving his arms around like he was actually swimming and it was clear that it was really his favourite movie. He stormed over the control panel and shoved Goomer away, swiping through the menu swiftly so the superheroes would bring the hands down in front of their faces. This guy took acting very seriously. 

"Wait! What is happening?!" Piper exclaimed, wondering what the hell she had just witnessed. She was a Captain man expert, she knew all the facts and all the trivia and was certain that he and his sidekicks would never agree to do something so strange and random for everyone to see. Her hero wasn't one for self-humiliation and she had learnt of how he'd do anything to keep Miss Danger safe too, both from bad guys and negative publicity.

"Why would they be doing a scene from that movie?" Charlotte asked, more to Jasper than Piper. The teens knew that (y/n) wasn't the biggest fan of A Swim To Forget, preferring one of her cheesy romcoms to a tragedy with a crap ending. They were also sure that Ray and Henry would never agree to do something like this, not on camera anyway and that inside knowledge made a bad feeling sit in their chests.

"And now, a scene from A Swim To Forget." An announcer said over the livestream as a title rolled, introducing the movie part professionally. Ray dramatically fell to the floor as if he was dying, pawing at the ground as Henry knelt in front of him and began to mourn whichever character his boss was playing. (y/n) too was pretending to be upset, throwing her hand to her forehead and painting an expression of heartache across her face. Well, this was humiliating.

"No! Tiffany, no! Come here! No! Come on!" Henry sobbed, pulling Ray onto the couch like he was fishing him out of the sea and the large man plonked his legs into the boy's lap as (y/n) immediately began to tap at his face, pretending to revive him. Tiffany was a goner. 

"I'm so...cold. Hold me, Eudora, you're my favourite sister." Ray spoke in a soft, country drawl, making (y/n) wrap her arms around his shoulders since she was "Eudora" apparently. This was a weird movie, but from the pure enrapture on Frankini's face, he was loving it.

"Oh, dear sister, why did you go swimming?" She whimpered back, leaning over the back of the couch as Henry cradled his boss, a sight that was extremely odd to the people watching back home, not just Piper, Charlotte and Jasper, the whole two million idiots who'd clicked on the video.

"You know you can't swim." Henry reminded "Tiffany", tearing up as Ray's body shook and (y/n) wiped his brow, acting like she was wiping a hot flannel across it. Next, Ray blinked furiously and began to madly feel for Henry's face since his character had gone blind in the water. Go figure.

"Lance?! Lance?! Are you there? And my sister, where is Eudora?" He asked in his southern accent, causing Henry and (y/n) to clutch onto his hand strongly and caress his cheek as if he was a dying family member. It was weird to see (y/n) do that, not for her since y'know, they were dating and stuff, but seeing Henry behave like that was downright disturbing and rather...suspicious.

"We're here, we're here." (y/n) soothed, smiling gently. She disregard the fat tears that fell from her eyes and fell onto Ray's cheeks and Frankini didn't bother to change the settings because he loved the drama behind it. Well, that and the water hid the fear and anger hiding beneath those (y/c/e) orbs.

"I feel myself slipping away..." Ray squeaked in a high tone, his wrist limply bridging over his forehead before flopping down to his side and for whatever reason, Lance wasn't too happy to hear her speak in such a defeatist manner. 

"No! No, don't, nooo!" Henry bawled, cupping Ray's cheek as he began to grieve for the character. Under Frankini's control, the three made for outstanding actors, but truth be told, there were three kids sat at home watching who couldn't be fooled, even as (y/n) laid it on thick.

"Oh, Lord have mercy, please! Let her live, dear God! It's not her fault she swum!" She sniffed, pressing her forehead to Ray's momentarily before Frankini decided that he didn't quite like the sight of the girl getting so close to her real boyfriend. She had to join his side and bring endless amounts of her fabulosity to his online presence; if he couldn't have her, then Captain Man definitely couldn't. He didn't deserve her.

"I just wanted to give you both a swim to remember." Ray crooned, smushing his fingers against Henry's lips because that's what the girl in the movie did, although she had a lot more grace than him.

"Instead, you've given us...a swim to forget." Henry was honoured with saying the famous line before the three began to cry like babies, the pants illuminating briefly as four million people joined to see what the hell was going on. They were all laughing and recording and being horrible, just what the mad celebrity needed to fuel his livestream, which was quickly going viral.

"Why are they doing that?" Jasper questioned as he, Piper and Charlotte watched his two bosses and his best friend make complete fools of themselves over some dumb, crappy movie. Their acting wasn't even that good and he could've sworn that parties don't normally include amateur theatre productions. Something was going on here and they didn't like it, not one bit.

~

"That's right! We already have six and a half million people watching right now. And when we get to ten million, guys, tell 'em what's gonna happen." Frankini smirked as he resumed the normal part of the livestream, standing behind the gold couch whilst the heroes sat on it awkwardly. He dashed off-camera so they could reveal his sneaky plan and resumed his position at the control panel, giggling at how well everything was going.

"We will take off our masks," Henry stated, causing Charlotte to gasp in horror as she heard the announcement. Okay, there was definitely something going on here, her friend would never do such a thing, not even for fame and glory. It was Ray's number one rule, not just for his livelihood, but for safety and secrecy. 

"And reveal our identities." Ray carried on, but one thing was amiss. His usually chirpy and lively voice was uncharacteristically flat, dull, so boringly unlike him that it stood out and spoke volumes.

"To the world!" (y/n) finished, the energy flowing through her making her arms widen as if it was a good thing. It wasn't good though, that's the thing, it was fucking ludicrous that they were even thinking about this and the news was quickly spreading, luring more and more people into Frankini's web.

"WHAT?!" Piper, Charlotte and Jasper screamed as they heard what they said and each kid had to take a moment to check if they heard them correctly. This had to be a wind-up or a prank, maybe some unfunny joke, it just couldn't be real

"Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid danger would never take off their masks!" Piper exclaimed, looking at Charlotte and Jasper. Frenemies be damned, she could put all that aside for now and focus on the problem at hand, she needed the teens to help her work this out.

"I know!" Charlotte agreed, thinking that her boss must've been tricked or entranced because he would never risk his sidekick's safety like that, not when one of them was a boy and the other was his precious girlfriend, no way. 

"What's happening?" Jasper asked Charlotte, knowing that she was normally good in a crisis and since she had worked for Ray a lot longer than he had, maybe she knew some about special protocol or training to help them.

"I don't know but, uh...just give me a sec!" She answered by grabbing the boy's wrist and dragging him away from Piper, leading him to the door instead. It was weird to just walk away in Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger's hour of need, but she really needed to discuss the shit with Jasper alone, as members of the Man Cave team, not as two normal kids. 

"Wait! Where are you going?" Piper asked incredulously, wondering why they were leaving when Swellview's crime fighters were on the verge of being dragged into disaster. Cowards, they could at least stay and help a bit.

"We'll be right back!" Charlotte promised her and chucked the curly-haired boy through the door, making him trip over his feet as she hurried to shut it behind her. At least they could get down to the nitty-gritty now.

"Why would Henry, (y/n) and Ray do something like—" He began, trying to communicate his complete disbelief, but Charlotte already had some answers and they had no time to waste. Frankini was getting close to seven million viewers.

"Just let me talk." The girl said simply, wanting to explain her theory without any interruptions, but Jasper being Jasper...

"But, if they take off their masks then everyone will know—" ~He butted in, stating the blindingly obvious, which really pissed Charlotte off. Again, they didn't have time for this.

"Just let me talk, okay?" She insisted, even though Jasper still wasn't taking her seriously. Why couldn't he say something real quick? "Yeah, but—"

"Don't talk. Just listen to me!" She snapped, giving her friend a stern glare that sent him into silence, the one thing she desperately desired. 

"Okay, you stay here with Piper. I'm going to go to the Man Cave, find Schwoz and try to figure out what's going on with Ray, (y/n) and Henry, okay?... Okay? Jasper!" She explained the plan, waiting for the boy to say something that would show his understanding, but he was too afraid to talk. Once bitten, twice shy and all that.

"You told me not to talk!" He reminded her, making Charlotte lunge to strangle him before she decided against it. She'd kill him later, for now, she had to get to the Man Cave and see if its resident genius could figure something out. Jasper could handle Piper alone, after all, she was already forming a plan to help out Captain Man and it would involve beating Frankini at his own game.

~In the Man Cave~

Schwoz had watched everything. He'd seen the livestream, the announcement, the weird movie thing, the lot and was currently sitting at the supercomputer, polishing his head. He was deeply perturbed by what he'd seen, although looking at him, you'd never know it. He was surprisingly calm to say his boss was on the brink of revealing who he was under the mask.

"Wow! Almost eight million of you are watching Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger scrub these toilets, so! Just two more million and these boys and lovely girl are going to take off their masks. Right, fellas and girl?" Frankini giggled into the camera as the superheroes behind him knelt in front of three toilets and scrubbed them hard. On the inside, each one was dying and gagging at the demeaning task, wishing that they could strangle that bastard until he went blue.

"That's right." Ray's lips moved, but his eyes looked terrified at the prospect. It was obvious to anyone with half a brain cell and a sharp eye that they weren't enjoying it.

"Fella," Henry added, looking equally pale. Goomer could mess about with the controls all he liked, they weren't fooling Charlotte. She knew something was up.

"We want to do that." (y/n)'s voice was void of emotion or intonation as the teen girl burst into the Man Cave, looking for Schwoz with urgency.

"Shhhh! Wait, wait! I'm watching!" He shushed her, too invested in what Frankini was going to do next than whatever she wanted. Sure, he was worried about Ray, (y/n) and Henry, but he couldn't lie, the livestream was entertaining.

"Oooh! I know what might be fun to see. Boys, why don't you stop scrubbing those toilets and instead, let Miss Danger brush your teeth?!" Frankini squealed and Goomer flicked a few settings so the boys gave their brushes to (y/n), who in turn lifted it to them to their lips and begrudgingly began to brush their teeth. The young woman felt so bad, so mean and wanted to cry and apologise all at once, but the more Frankini laughed, the more Goomer dragged out their misery.

"Schwoz! That's not funny! How can you sit there, polishing your head and laughing?" Charlotte scolded the cackling genius, who couldn't help but find Ray and Henry's disgusted faces hilarious. The girl hated how her friends were being subjected to such cruelty and was determined to help them.

"Well, I'm polishing my head because I like to keep it soft and shiny. And I'm laughing because Ray, (y/n) and Henry are doing comedy like Saterda Night Loove." Schwoz replied, although his thick accent made it hard to understand what the hell he was saying. Luckily though, Charlotte was an expert on his way of speaking.

"You mean Saturday Night Live?" She asked, rolling her eyes at how he was so unfeeling. This wasn't like Saturday Night comedy, that was jokey and lighthearted, Frankini was psychotic and crazy.

"You say it better." He smiled at her, not realising that the more he sat there and made pleasantries, the more likely it became that soon, the world would know that Ray Manchester is Captain Man, Henry Hart is Kid Danger and (y/n) (y/l/n) is Miss Danger.

"Ugh, move." She shoved him from the chair and sat down, scanning the livestream for anything that could give them a clue. Nine million people were worrying but panic would slow them down and she worked much better with a cool head. "Okay, something's wrong. Henry, Ray and (y/n) would never willingly go online without their superhero pants or skirt. And...look at their eyes."

"Oh, yeah. Hmmm...now, you move." After taking a moment to think about what she was saying, Schwoz realised that the girl might be onto something, judging by how livid the heroes looked. It was true, Ray was a stickler for correct uniform and (y/n) spent way too long designing hers just to forgo half of it, in fact, the whole thing seemed a bit dodgy now he thought about it.

Flinging Charlotte from her seat, he began to rewind the footage, searching for something in particular and he gasped as he zoomed in and saw a device that was highly familiar to him. "Ah, yes! Look! Look at that thingamajiggy!"

"What is that?" Charlotte asked, squinting at the weird gadget flickering beneath Goomer's control panel. It looked like something Schwoz knew all about, maybe even (y/n), but that sort of technical wizardry was beyond her.

"It's called a Domitron. It's illegal in America and everywhere that's not America." He scowled, suddenly seeing that Frankini wasn't the happy, friendly, go-lucky guy he made himself out to be. Having an illegal device wasn't exactly a good show of character.

"Well, what does a Domitron do?" Charlotte questioned, prompting Schwoz to think. Those circuits were way beyond anything she'd understand, but perhaps he could skip the math and go for a few terms she understand.

"Well, ohhh, how can I dumb this down for you? You make a person wear special clothing that's been bombarded with atomic particle waves and then the Domitron connects to the clothing and sends electronic waves into a person's body. And then, you can control their brainwaves and the muscles, and make them do or say anything you want." He explained, his voice getting more and more panicked as he explained the science. 

"Whoa." She breathed out. That sounded a lot like what was happening to their friends.

"Yeah, whoa. Basically, it turns a person into a puppet." Schwoz went on, although once again, his poor pronunciation let him down, sounding more like "puppay".

"A what?" Charlotte frowned, wondering what he was on about. Maybe it was another science thing that she didn't completely understand, or maybe it was just another weird Schwoz thing.

"Puppet? You know, p-u-p-p-e-t? Puppet?" He even spelt it out for her, and that's when it clicked. It was a weird Schwoz thing.

"Puppet. You mean, it turns someone into a puppet." Charlotte hissed. It was fine, it's not like the clock was ticking and Frankini's viewer count was rocketing skywards. They definitely had time for Schwoz's shortcomings.

"Ooh, you say it better." Charlotte ignored how he was chirpy once again and sat back down at the computer, praying she could work out a way to help her friends. If they were under Frankini's control, then it was up to them to do something.

~

"Okay, livestreamers, we are so close to ten million people watching. So now, I say, it's time for a beauty pageant question." Frankini grinned at his viewers as he draped a 'Miss Tween America' sash across (y/n)s chest. Ray and Henry were already wearing theirs and were dreading the oncoming moment when they'd be forced to remove their masks just to give the celebrity a moment of fame in the history books. "Doesn't that sound like a hoo-haa?"

"Yes, it sure does." "Yes, a hoo-haa." "Yes, amazing." Henry, Ray and (y/n) replied shakily, making Charlotte panic as she paced the Man Cave's cold tiles. Only seven hundred thousand people to go and Frankini would get his wish, leaving Captain Man's super career in tatters.

"Will you hurry up and locate his club so we can go help them?!" She snapped at Schwoz, who was struggling to pinpoint the trackers in the super suits. For some reason, the signal was fuzzy and couldn't get a fix, leaving him stuck.

"I'm trying!" Schwoz whined, tapping a load of buttons in succession of each other as the computer monitored both the signal and the livestream. Frankini was getting weird again, hoping that something outrageous would draw in the crowds he needed, plus he could never resist a beauty pageant, not when one of his contestants was so pretty.

"Captain Man, Kid Danger and...Miss Danger, recent polls have shown that a fifth of the people who live here in Swellview cannot locate their own uvulas. Why do you think that is?" Was his first question, something very odd, but Goomer made them reply some bullshit anyway.

"Well, we personally believe that Swellview Americans are unable to do so, uh, because, uh—" Ray started in a funny voice like he was some pretty, whiny, teenage model trying to outdo all her rivals on stage. Who knew he'd sound so convincingly good as a beauty pageant queen?

"—Uh, because some people, here in Swellview, don't have uvulas—" Henry continued in exactly the same tone. No one knew why Kid Danger was going on about the gross, fleshy dangly thing at the back of your throat, but hearing him was funny, so they overlooked it.

"—We believe that our education, such as—and we should help South Africa—" (y/n) carried on, smiling brightly at the camera like she was on a stage, the one place she hated to be. She wasn't a model, just a mechanic in a superhero costume.

Whilst they were bullshitting an answer, Goomer glanced up at the viewer count on a TV and his stomach clenched as he saw something dreadful. He tapped Frankini worriedly on the shoulder, but the guy was too invested in his beauty pageant to care about whatever his stupid assistant had to say; probably something about pork and beans.

"What is it, Goomer? I'm in the middle of a livestream." He snapped, wondering what was so important that he had to be taken away from his interview. But what Goomer was about to show him needed his attention because it was so gloriously disastrous, depending on who you asked.

Goomer saw how his boss wasn't going to budge by his own will, so he chose for him and just picked him up, moved him across the room and forced him to look at the monitor, where the viewer count was...dropping? Y'see, Piper Hart is a determined little girl and even though she couldn't find Frankini and beat him up like she wanted to, she could still take away his viewers. By creating the world's best zit-popping livestream (with a little help from Oliver, Jasper and Sydney), people were switching off from Frankini's video and onto hers, because everyone can't help but love gross stuff. 

"Eight point nine million viewers? But we were at nine point two million! What happened?" Frankini gasped as the heroes kept ranting about uvulas behind him, although under the control, the news that their impending doom was being staled gave them a small glimmer of hope. 

"We lost some viewers," Goomer answered dumbly, prompting Frankini to glare at him. He wasn't stupid, obviously, they lost some viewers, he just wanted to know why.

"I realise that. Why are we losing viewers?! This is the worst thing that could happen to a Frankini." He whined like a child, stomping his feet and slapping the assistant's chest as he lamented falling short just before he reached success. 

"I think the problem's a pimple," Goomer told him, referring to Piper's livestream, which was becoming extremely popular as she hyped up a huge zit that Sydney had faked on Jasper's neck. All it was was just special makeup and a load of banana pudding, but to the people at home, it was gonna be epic.

"I have a pimple? Oh my god, where? Where? Pop it, pop it!" Frankini was mistaken and squished his cheek for the blemish that he thought was grossing people out.

"No! Look it!" Goomer dragged his boss over to the PearBook where he'd pulled up another person's livestream and sure as hell, there was Piper, working the crowd like an expert.

"I don't care what else is live-streaming right now, you wanna be right here, 'cause in just a few minutes, we are gonna pop this guy's neck pimple. Yeahhhhh, this zit's about to get real." Piper smirked, knowing that it was likely that Frankini had seen how she had already stolen three hundred thousand of his viewers and by bringing on Jasper's pimple, it was quickly going upwards.

"All right. If people wanna see something gross...get the worms." Frankini ordered. He could do gross, beauty pageant be damned, he wanted his ten million recorded and if he had to bring out the big guns then he would. 'just watch him.

"Oh, come on. You're not serious." Goomer gulped, not wanting to be party to such a revolting thing. Captain Man, Kid Danger and especially not the pretty lady didn't deserve that, no one did and he couldn't believe that Frankini would stoop so low.

"Get. The. Worms!" The guy growled at his insubordination, making Goomer scurry off to follow his orders. He didn't care how gross it was, or how the superheroes would be haunted forever by this, he was going to get his way. "Sorry, little girl, but you shouldn't bring a pimple to a worm fight." 

~

Everything had been set up and Frankini was once again ready to talk to his viewers as Ray, Henry and (y/n) sat dreading his next move. They heard something about worms and knew it wasn't good, but nothing could prepare them for what he had in store for them.

"Oh, hello, what have I been doing? Oh, I've been putting worms into a food processor." Frankini smirked as he sniffed the wriggling creatures and dumped them into the blender with the rest of their friends so they could all meet their fates. The heroes had been made to sit at a cute little table like they'd gone out to eat at a classy restaurant and it set alarm bells ringing in their heads. (y/n) longed to reach for Ray's hand, hoping to give and gain some comfort from the gesture, but try as she might, her muscles were stiff and unresponsive, leaving her to curse that stupid Frankfurter.

"And now, worm dip." Frankini turned on the machine, committing the murder of hundreds of poor little worms just to get a few viewers back. He laughed as they turned into a pinkish-brown paste, which looked revolting to the people at home and freaked Ray, Henry and (y/n) out to no end. He wasn't actually going to make them eat that, right?

Taking the lid off, Frankini tipped his "delicious" dip into a bowl, making Goomer gag and gip at how thick and sludge-like it was. He could smell it from the control panel, salty and musty, but also kinda sweet? It was just an awful all-round and seeing it placed in front of them made the superheroes scream inwardly.

"There! I think it's time for Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger to have a little snack!" Frankini grinned as Henry eyed the worm paste suspiciously and tried to do something to get his dumb body moving. Surely, this was healthy, surely, earthworms carried some kind of bacteria that would lead to them puking for the next three weeks, surely, this wasn't fucking legal. "Right, boys, sweetie?"

Goomer reluctantly tapped the controls, wishing he didn't have to do this but he also didn't want to be out of a job, so Ray, (y/n) and Henry picked up a piece of toast and slowly dipped them.

"Yes." "We want to eat worm...dip." "It looks delicious, mmmm." They said, one after the other, each sounding like they were trying their hardest to say nothing, do nothing and keep their lips firmly shut. The problem was, they couldn't just take a smidge of dip, they had to take a massive scoop and really get the chunks on that toast, y'know to really enhance the flavour. 

"Yeah, dip it, yay." (y/n) groaned with a smile as Ray shoved his piece into his mouth, followed by Henry and then her and let's just say it was a taste sensation, something they wouldn't wish even on their worst enemy. The toast had turned soggy, salty, with little bits of dirt and crunchy worm guts to go with the wholemeal bread, leaving Frankini cackling as he saw the tiny signs of disgust on their faces. They couldn't even puke despite their bodies telling them that they needed an emergency stomach pump and it was even worse as they were forced to go in for a second dunk.

"All right, boys and girls, have fun watching this little appeteaser but remember. When we hit ten million viewers, Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger are going to remove their masks and reveal their true identities." Frankini giggled and fell on the floor dramatically so everyone could see their favourite superheroes enjoying their worm dip.

"Yay, worm dip!" Ray exclaimed, holding up his second piece of bread to the camera so they could see how it was truly a smooth blend, it still had a few intact worm bodies in there to make it interesting. 

"I like these worms." Henry grimaced too at how he was saying the exact opposite of what was happening and he wanted to turn his head at the thought of another load going into his mouth.

"I'm glad this is happening to me." (y/n) whimpered, her fingers wobbling as she nibbled on her second piece of toast, her brain going into overload as the bittersweet dip assaulted her tastebuds. 

"I'm doing this because I want to," Henry told the camera, another one of Frankini's tricks to make the viewers think that they had volunteered for everything, or that it was one big joke. If Kid Danger said it was okay, then it must have been, right?

"Worms!" Ray cried as he chomped more dip, chewing slowly which made the taste sit in his mouth even longer. What had he done to deserve this? What had his sidekicks done to deserve this? When he got free his was going to kick Frankini's ass for even touching his girl, never mind making her so miserable.

~In the Man cave~

"What are we gonna do? We can't let Frankini make Henry, (y/n) and Ray take off their masks!" Charlotte exclaimed as the viewer count crept towards nine point five million. The worm thing had worked, people were coming back to his livestream and there wasn't long to go, only a few more minutes until it was too late.

"I know! Grab that cream and come polish my head!" Schwoz told the girl as he typed away on his little machine. It was a weird request, but Schwoz needed every one of his super brain cells working, meaning the polish was necessary.

"What? Why?" Charlotte, however, didn't see it. Why would Schwoz need a shiny head when they could all be out of a job and possibly in danger in a bit?

"Because it helps me concentrate! Hurry!" He told her and she urgently grabbed the tub of head wax and the cloth so she could get to working shining his bald scalp. 

"No! Rub in circles!" He snapped when she rubbed in harsh lines, something that irritated him greatly. It was too rough and didn't cover enough skin for his liking.

"Okay!" Charlotte listened to what he said and the minute she began to go round and round his bald head, he found fault again. Maybe the polish did help his little grey cells, but not when she went the wrong way

"Clockwise!" He ordered, still working away furiously as he tried to find their friends. Time was running out.

~

"Oh my god, we're almost at ten million!" Frankini gasped as his monitor showed how he was less than one thousand people away from the big number. Captain Man and his sidekicks were still loving their worm dip, which was making Goomer giggle now that he'd gotten over his initial gagging and disgust. It was the same for other people too, the counter was nearly complete.

"Nine million, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-eight!... Nine million, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine!..." Frankini cried as they reached their target, a nice round ten million, not that Goomer could read big numbers.

"Ten thousand!" He exclaimed, thinking he was celebrating with his boss, but he kind of killed the mood since he thought it was a much lower number than it really was. Back on the table, (y/n), her boyfriend and Henry were shitting themselves as they heard that it was time, the moment they'd been dreading.

"Million!" Frankini corrected him, upset that his big moment had been ruined, but he could look over it. Nothing could dampen his spirits, not when he had done it, he'd beaten every other sucker and now stood on top as the number one streamer in the world.

"Ten thousand million!" Well, maybe that could dampen the spirits. Poor Goomer, he had no idea how wrong he was or how much he pissed off Frankini.

"Ten million!...oh my god, I did it! I am the most popular livestreamer on the entire World Wide Web! I mean, you stream me, you really, really stream me! Thank you!" He cried into the camera. Even though he was being incredibly selfish by taking away the superheroes' most precious thing, he still took the time to appreciate his viewer's help before he shrugged Goomer away.

"And now...as promised, it's time for Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger to remove their masks." Frankini nodded at Goomer, who had retreated to the controls and was all too happy to make them shove back their chairs and stand up. He wanted Miss Danger on their side and if she stopped being a superhero, then hopefully she would.

"They're about to take off their masks!" Charlotte exclaimed as she and Schwoz struggled to do...anything. She had no idea what they were going to do, but from how much she'd been rubbing the genius' head, she hoped he'd thought of something clever.

"I'm almost ready!" Schwoz exclaimed, his plan on the brink of being a success. Just a few last-minute preparations and then he could save them, but he had to get everything ready, even if it was seconds before a disaster.

"To do what?" Charlotte questioned, wondering what was going on since all he'd been doing for the past half an hour was tapping away on all his little gadgets and ignoring her whilst she rubbed his head just the way he liked. Talk about taking things for granted, she just wanted to know what he was about to do.

"To turn off all the power in Swellview!" He answered, rushing around like a madman since it was taking all of his technical skill to kill the entire grid. If they couldn't get to Ray or Henry or (y/n), then they'd turn everything off and hope that they could help themselves.

"What?! Why?!" She gasped, thinking that it sounded, crazy, illegal, stupid, dangerous and difficult. Would he be able to pull it off?

"If there's no electricity, the Domitron will stop working!" He told her with a smirk all over his smug face. You had to admit that this was an ingenious plan, one of his finest and if it worked, then Frankini would be foiled. Way to go, Schwoz.

"But—ooooh, that's smart." Charlotte returned the smirk as she realised that he wasn't as stupid as he looked. Still, they had to do it now, Ray, Henry and (y/n) were reaching for their masks, fingers twitching and eyes full of fear as they tried to resist showing who they were, but their hands wouldn't stop. They groaned and grimaced at being so powerless, their discomfort being shared by Piper, Jasper, Sydney, Oliver and countless others, but just as their fingertips brushed the smooth material glued to their skin...

"And...now!" Schwoz shut off the power, plunging all of Swellview into darkness and everything turned black, including the Frankini Club. 

"What just happened?" The man asked as his place became dark in what should've been his greatest success. Ray, (y/n) and Henry were jerking, twitching and involuntarily moaning as they regained control of their own bodies, which was a shock to the system after having been locked away for so long.

"I don't know, the power went out," Goomer reported, squinting around the room as he tried to get the Domitron to work, but without a power supply, it was just another trinket. Perfect.

"What? What did you do?" Frankini growled as the superheroes leaned on the table, trying to work out what the fuck was going on. They could still taste the worm dip, but amazingly, their arms bent and their legs moved when they wanted them to, sweet cheese.

"I didn't do nothing! Uh...no punish." He insisted, but his bravery quivered when Frankini glowered and lunged for him, screaming bloody murder for how everything had done a one-eighty and he was now looking like an idiot.

"Kid, Miss Danger, y'alright?" Ray asked, marvelling at how when he wanted to put his arm around his girl, it actually did and how his lips moved how he wanted them to. God, it felt good to feel her skin again and even better to know that he could keep her safe once more.

"Yeah, I think so." Henry nodded as he wiggled around to stretch his exhausted muscles, whilst Ray dipped his head down to give his sweet girl a soft kiss, something he'd been dying to do all night, but upon gathering her senses, she quickly put a hand between their lips.

"Later, once we've brushed our teeth. All I can taste is worms." She chuckled, raking her eyes over him happily. It had been torture to sit next to him and not look at and dream about and admire everything about him, but now she had him, at last. Her boyfriend, her love, her Ray.

"Yeah, mine too." He agreed, wiping at his tongue whilst Henry bent over and gagged a little like he'd been wanting to do ever since he put the damn dip in his mouth. Yeah, he was going to be throwing up in his toilet until three in the morning.

"Oh, god, where's the plug?!" They heard Frankini panic as they shook off the Domitron's effects, but it was no use. No way were they gonna let him control them again; models? Yeah right, what a load of bullshit.

"Hey, I made myself say that." Henry pointed out to the couple as they held each other for support and comfort. They had been so caught up in each other and being able to just appreciate being together again that they hadn't realised that they were free.

"We're back in control of our own bodies!" Ray exclaimed, smiling at his girl when he saw that he wasn't being made to hold her (which was better than worms by a long shot), he was doing it because he loved her and it was his instinct to bring her into his arms where he could shield her from the humiliation and dangers.

"Quick! Let's get out of these Frankini Bottoms before the power comes back on!" (y/n) gasped, fumbling for her belt where her gum tube was clipped once she noticed how their torturer was quickly trying to get everything back online. Not so fast, they weren't about to become his marionettes again.

"Right. Let's blow a bubble and get back into our pants, slash skirt." Ray said, not caring about sounding cool, he was just eager to get back into his normal uniform. That and he wanted to see (y/n)'s ass in her cute, little, red satin number. 

"That didn't rhyme," Henry noted. He didn't see the hurry and was surprised to see his boss be uncool in front of his girlfriend, but after all that crap about appearing cool earlier, Ray was done with pretending he was someone he wasn't. For now.

"Just blow a bubble, we'll pitch on rhymes later." Ray snapped, popping a gumball from his tube, but just before he was about to throw it in his mouth, a terrible memory came flooding back to (y/n), something that brought back all her guilt.

"Wait!" She cried, putting her hands on their shoulders as she teared up a bit and looked at them both. Yeah, technically it wasn't her fault, but she wasn't the sort of person to just walk away without feeling a bit bad.

"What?" Henry asked, believing that she'd spotted or felt something awful. As always, now he was interested in her advice and gut feeling, but then again, anything bad she felt could've just been the worms.

"I brushed your teeth with toilet brushes, I'm so sorry!" She panicked, looking at the boy and then her boyfriend with an apologetic face, which made them both chuckle. Only (y/n) would feel bad for something she'd been forced to do by a psychotic criminal.

"Sweet girl..." Ray smiled and pressed a kiss to her nose, giggling at how silly and kind the girl he had chosen was. He'd make sure that she left this behind with no guilt, but for now, they just needed to blow their bubbles and get back into their normal gear.

"Oh my god, something's happening! Where'd my Frankini bottoms go?" Frankini gasped as he glanced up from whatever he was doing and saw that the superheroes were no longer wearing his pants, just their regular uniform as and that meant that he couldn't do shit to them. God, it felt good to feel that silkiness brush against her thighs and even better for (y/n) to see Frankini turn pale under his foundation.

"If I were you, I'd worry about your own Frankini bottom." (y/n) hissed, feeling so clever for having come up with the line, but when Frankini giggled at her mentioning his ass, it sort of ruined the quip. And it made Ray clench his jaw with how he still wanted to be flirtatious even with his ass on the line.

"Man Cave." Henry nudged Ray as his phone began to ring, the contact showing that it was the hideout trying to reach them, Charlotte probably. He guessed they were worried after watching the livestream and then the power outage.

"Take it, we'll wait for ya," Ray told his sidekick, curling a possessive arm around (y/n)'s waist and pulling her a little closer to his body so Frankini knew where he stood. Nowhere.

"Hey," Henry answered the call as Ray turned his darkest frowny face to Frankini, although his hold on (y/n) never faltered.

"Henry! Are you, (y/n) and Ray okay?" Charlotte answered as Schwoz listened in. She had been desperate to make the call but had to wait for the Man Cave's backup generators to kick in before she could and it had been an anxious wait. 

"Yeah, we're cool but, only 'cause the power went out." He told her, prompting Schwoz's heart to flutter with pride as he heard about how he'd saved their bacon. Maybe they'd be more appreciative of his skills in future.

"That was me! I did that!" He exclaimed proudly, but he was forgetting that he'd had an assistant in saving their bacon, even if she had only done one thing.

"Well, I rubbed cream on your head!" Charlotte added, frowning at how she'd been left out for Schwoz to take all the glory. What a cheek.

"Okay, okay, it worked, okay? And go ahead and turn the power back on now." Henry told them, glancing over to see that Ray had told Frankini that he and Goomer were going to jail (amongst other things, like how a certain girl only gave her love to him) and boy, they were not taking it well. 

"Aye!" Schwoz nodded and flipped his lever upwards, turning Swellview's grid ack on before the authorities started panicking too much and with everyone else getting signal, Henry was soon wanted elsewhere.

"Hey, it's Jasper, I'll hit you back," Henry told Charlotte before switching onto his other call. He was glad that he wasn't the one dealing with Frankini right now, 'cause he looked real upset, smearing his mascara and everything.

"Hen, are you, Miss Danger and Captain Man all right?" Jasper asked quietly as the call connected and the lights in the Hart's house came back on. He assumed that they were okay, but he had to make sure, despite Piper, Sydney and Oliver being so close in the kitchen.

"Yeah, listen, I'll meet you back at the Man Cave. Right after I take care of Frankini." The boy replied, looking over at the shrewd criminals and his words sparked a thought in Jasper, who underneath his curls, kept some rather sneaky ideas.

"Well, if you really wanna get Frankini, you should bring him to your house," Jasper told him, smirking as he stroked the fake pimple on his neck. Henry had no idea about how he and his sister had tried to help out, but Jasper was sure he'd love his plan, it was perfect. "Why?"

~Henry's House~

Yep, he loved it. Henry, (y/n) and hell, even Ray couldn't be prouder of Piper and Jasper, plus those other guys, for trying to help and they were more than happy to hand Frankini over for some well-deserved punishment. 

"Wow, I'm so pumped that over eleven million people are watching this livestream right now to see the eruption of the biggest pimple of all time." Piper grinned at the camera and she had several reasons to be happy. First, she was now the world record holder for the most viewers watching a livestream, second, Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger were standing behind her in her house and third, she got to humiliate Frankini like he'd done to her favourite superheroes. Everything was good.

"I'm Jasper." Well, he might as well have said it, it was his only chance of fame, but he soon shut up when Piper pulled down her goggles and got on her stool. It was time for some payback.

"Ready?" She looked at Oliver, who was in control of the pudding canisters. This had to look good and he was ready to open the hatch and let it come out. 

"Hey..." Ray glanced down at (y/n) who was smiling at the scene unfolding in front of her. Both of them had brushed their teeth after arriving at Henry's house, glad to scrub away the worm taste with a normal, clean toothbrush, which meant that what was denied earlier could now be given. 

"Hey..." She smirked up at him, instantly knowing what he wanted as an arm wrapped around her stomach and she looked over her shoulder and up at him. 

"I don't suppose that I could have that kiss now?" He asked, chuckling at how coy he was being and how even after quite a few months of dating, he was still able to add colour to her cheeks.

"You can, doofus." She smiled and stood on her tiptoes as best she could in her boots and welcomed the feel of the soft, familiar lips against hers. This was home, him just happy to share an innocent, worm-free moment with her, loving how she chased his movements until Piper was ready to start.

"Ready? One, two, three!" Piper squeezed the fake pimple in sync with Oliver turning on the pudding sprayer, resulting in a jet of pus-like pudding flying from the swollen lump across the room and onto Frankini. Ray had left him on the floor tied up, happy to let him get sprayed and humiliated because of how he and his sidekicks had suffered the same due to him.

"Why did you pop it? Payback is a zit!" Frankini whined, spluttering and squirming when the pudding got in his mouth and eyes. It tasted quite nice really, but he was just whiny because his makeup and outfit were ruined. There was no better sight than seeing him cry and it seemed like the viewers loved it too.

"I miss those Frankini Bottoms," Ray mentioned to his sidekicks, making (y/n) groan and Henry grin. Seriously, he liked wearing the ridiculous leggings? What about the pain and suffering that they'd caused?

"Yeah, they felt gooooood!" Henry nodded, smiling brightly as he thought about how snug the bottoms were they were so comfortable, a bit perilous, but so stretchy. Yeah, the pattern was a bit bright, but apart from that, they looked great.

"Why do you two never listen to my little danger radar? It's like I sense when shit's about to go wrong and then you ignore me until shit hits the fan and you need me to come in and save your asses." (y/n) fretted, making Ray chuckle as his mind drifted back to how those tight pants accentuated her hips and legs. He loved her figure and everything else about her, especially how hot she looked when so animated and full of energy.

"Your ass looked great in the Frankini Bottoms." He whispered back to her as Henry ignored her protests, preferring to watch Frankini sit in a puddle of banana pudding, sobbing for the internet to laugh at.

"Thanks, but I won't be wearing them again anytime soon." She rolled her eyes at how he always brought conversations back to her backside. He was an ass man and loved to talk about it, grab it, anything really.

"What will you wear instead then?" He asked, feigning ignorance despite them both knowing that he was anything but, even in someone else's house. Ray couldn't help but wiggle some innuendo into everything.

"Nothing, if you're lucky." (y/n) smirked when his body tensed and the arm around her got tighter. He was bad, but so was she, both of them giggling like idiots in love as Frankini whimpered on the floor because that's what they were.  Two idiots who lived a crazy, dangerous life full of surprises, but endured through the support of their little family and their golden love. It was magical and they wouldn't have it any other way.

[bbrandy2002]

Happy Birthday Robin!

AKA: @dcbbw​

The People of Valtoria vs The King of Cordonia (Riam)

A/N: Robin, you are not only one of my favorite writers but have become an amazing, supportive friend over the last year or so that we've known one another. And I believe that friendship transcends beyond Tumblr. Youve been a virtual shoulder to cry on when I needed one and someone who made me laugh so hard while chatting once that I ... well, I won't embarrass myself here 😆 You're just truly a remarkable person with a compassionate, giving heart. I'm blessed to know you and blessed as hell to call you a friend #mycommonlawcitywife

A/N2: I wrote Riam for you. It will be no where near as good as yours and I hope I didn't mess them up too badly. Trust me, I'm nervous.

The following characters belong to Pixelberry with the exception of the term "Riam" and some references in the story which belong to @dcbbw . You can find her masterlist for them here. 

Thanks @burnsoslow for beta reading!!!!

__________________________

With assistance from Gladys and Mara, Riley stepped up onto her Hoveround scooter. The cart jolted side to side from the added load as she shifted into place. Her heavily pregnant stomach narrowly fit between the seat and handlebars. 

The motorized vehicle was a gift from Liam, who felt that at this point in her pregnancy, it was much safer and more comfortable for her to get around if she didn't have to walk. It was also easier to track her movements with the GPS hidden underneath.

For her protection, and knowing she wasn't the best driver, he had the machine’s speed reduced from its factory setting of 13 mph to a more leisurely four mph. 

The following morning, at her insistence, Drake arrived -- toolbox in hand -- to remove the GPS and increase the speed to 20. 

With a groan from the Queen, the two staff members lowered her carefully into the seat and backed away while she arranged her footing and large belly.

Riley turned her head and arched a brow, giving the majordomo a moment to figure out on her own what was missing.

Gladys' eyes flitted between her boss and the guard. 

Like a lightbulb switching on, it finally dawned on her.

The snack wagon.

She shuffled to Riley's side of the bed. The head stewardess retrieved the wagon that was already stuffed with everything needed for the Queen's busy morning: barbeque potato chips, mini chocolate bars, Tupperware bowls filled with teriyaki meatballs, ham and cheese sliders, garlic chicken spring rolls, and leftover spaghetti and meatballs topped with melted mozzarella and a dash of parmesan. 

Cook was still reheating the garlic bread and putting the finishing touches on the devil's food cake.

After running several minutes behind due to a last-minute potty break and to catch her favorite American reality show about friends living in Washington, D.C., Riley squeezed the handles to power forward. 

Followed closely by Mara on the lookout, and Gladys, who was lugging the snack wagon, she took the elevator down to the first floor.

There was a crowd assembled in the throne room to witness this highly anticipated and rather unusual royal court case.

Gladys opened the door, announced the Queen's entrance, and stepped aside to allow Riley to roll in.

The guests stood in reverence, much to her delight.

It hadn't gone unnoticed by Liam, sitting at a lone table with a piece of paper that said Reserved for the Guilty Party taped to it, that his wife's mode of transportation was quite a bit faster than it should be. 

Liam tilted his head and furrowed his brows before moving to the edge of the seat. He wasn't entirely sure how she did it, but judging by the rapid blinking and shifty movements coming from Drake, he was sure he'd found his culprit.

Liam sensed a disaster happening before he could stop it. 

While driving toward the dais, his wife's eye caught a glimpse of Annabelle Parsons standing in the opposite corner of the room.

Miss Parsons’ breasts were practically heaving from her gray low-cut backless dress that had a slit up to her hip. A white lacy garter could be seen encircled around one slender thigh, and there were unquestionably no panties worn.

The two women locked eyes.

Riley licked her lips as the object of her affection trailed a tantalizing finger over the swell of her bosom, her taut nipples peaking through the gray silk attire.

Liam jumped from his seat with a shout just as her scooter's front wheels plunged into the first step of the dais, bringing her to a hard, abrupt stop.

The crowd's eyes, which included the staff, members of the nobility, and curious Valtorian citizens alike, widened in concern for their pregnant queen and the twin heirs.

"Love!" Liam ran up beside her and laid one hand on Riley's stomach, the other stroking through her hair. "Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?"

"I'm just fine, no thanks to you. It's this damn defective scooter you bought me. You could have killed me, Liam. I always knew you would try to get rid of me one day. I just thought you'd at least wait until your children were born."

Liam stiffened; his voice slightly raised. "How is this my fault? You were gawking at Miss Parsons, and I know you had Drake adjust the speed."

"I wouldn't need to adjust the speed if someone hadn't bought me a broken metal deathtrap on three wheels!"

"That ... That doesn't even make sense," he countered.

She lowered her eyes to him with a glower. "You don't make sense."

Liam shook his head and wrapped his firm hands around her arm. "Come on, my love. Let me help you up and to your chair."

He lifted her to a standing position, steadying her movements, and slowly led her to the BarcaLounger on the dais. 

Once Riley was reclined and had altered the chair to a comfort setting she preferred, Gladys set up a tray of the meals and treats from the snack wagon and placed it on a table beside her. 

Liam watched with curiosity as she prodded a meatball with a fork and brought it to her mouth. "I'm worried about you. Are you sure everything's okay?"

Enjoying the delicious flavor burst from the teriyaki sauce and the juiciest pork and beef combination she'd ever had, Riley waved him away. "Liam, I'm trying to sue you. If you think sucking up to the judge before I've had a chance to find you guilty will help your case ... you're mistaken. This judge will not be swayed by the defendant; now go to your table before I hold you in contempt."

"You haven't even heard the case yet; how can I already be guilty?"

"I haven't heard the case because YOU WON"T SIT DOWN!"

He leaned over and pressed a tender kiss to her cheek. Riley melted into it and felt all those butterflies she usually had when the love of her life kissed and caressed her.

"I love you, my queen."

She bit into a barbeque chip while shaking the mustard bottle to squirt on a ham and cheese slider. "I know," she replied coolly, but there was so much love radiating behind her big brown eyes hidden by a flock of hair. "Now, stop breathing all over my food with your germs and return to your table."

Liam stepped away and took his place. The crowd went quiet, eager to get the proceedings underway.

Cook finally arrived a few minutes later with a basketful of hot garlic bread and a slice of Riley's favorite cake. The Queen was now ready to begin.

As she twisted a forkful of spaghetti noodles and slurped them up, she motioned for Gladys to call the case into session.

With a loud clear of her throat, Gladys began, "Ladies and Gentlemen! The case of the People of Valtoria versus The King of Cordonia is now in session. Please give your complete attention to the honorable Queen of Cordonia and ... grand ruler of all of Valtoria."

Riley brushed away bread crumbs from her chest and glanced up to Gladys, giving her an approving smile for using the proper title she proposed beforehand. "Thank you, Gladys."

Riley tilted her chin at Liam. "Now, King Liam, we are here today because you owe me over $280,000, plus interest, penalties, taxes, processing, restitution, travel expenses, court and collection fees for back rent at Valtoria. How do you wish to plead?"

The King sat forward and sighed in vexation. "This is ridiculous. You know full well the Crown financially supports this duchy and manor."

"And in turn, I have had to support your mooching ass with it. So ... what is your plea?" she enunciated.

Liam crossed his arms and drew in a deep breath. "I suppose, not guilty."

The Queen narrowed her eyes in a glower. "You wouldn't dare."

A smatter of whispers and gasps broke out among the audience.

Riley reached over to her tray and picked up a wooden mallet before banging it several times on the sounding board that set next to the bowl of spring rolls on her tray. "That's enough! You all will not turn my court into a circus," she admonished. 

Hushes circulated through the crowd.

Liam raised his hand to draw her attention and spoke up. "Can I say something?"

Riley contemplated his question, then replied, "Overruled."

"It's about our children," he continued.

She flashed a glance to Mara, who pursed her lips and simply nodded in approval. The Queen looked back to her husband. "Okay, I'll allow it this once. But make it quick so we can get to your sentencing."

"I was just going to remind you that we have a doctor appointment that we need to leave for in 10 minutes."

Dammit, he was right; she had forgotten all about the appointment, and Liam hadn't shaved her legs since the prior visit two weeks ago. Riley lifted the lower part of her dress, her legs still reclined, and peered down at the thick stubble that had grown. She huffed. Liam. That man had one damn job to do.

Riley twirled the gavel in one hand and a fork with the other, contemplating how to proceed with the time crunch.

She cut through a piece of her cake and took a bite, closing her eyes to savor its chocolaty flavor. After dabbing the corners of her mouth with a napkin, she looked out to Liam, drumming his fingers on the table. "I've made my decision. Would the defendant rise?"

Liam glanced at his watch and sighed. He pushed himself from the table and rose to his feet before placing his hands in his pockets.

"Due to the critical nature of this case, and the fact that the judge and offender had an important prior engagement scheduled, I have no choice but to issue a continuance. But I would like to remind the prisoner that he is not to flee the country without express written consent from this court." She slammed the gavel down. "Court dismissed until further notice."

As the attendees flocked out of the throne room to return to their homes or positions within the estate, Mara stood at the door with a crystal bowl collecting court donations to fund the Queen's prosecution. 

It received $747 and a coupon for half off at Mei Wah Sing.

Liam rounded the defendant's table and made his way to the Queen, whose legs were flailing in a struggle to get out of her lounger. 

He wrapped his arms around his wife and lifted her to a standing position, helping her straighten out her dress.

"Are you ready, love? I think we can still make it there on time if we hurry." His hand rubbed soothing circles over her aching back.

Riley leaned in for a kiss, relaxing into his special touch that always made the aches and pains disappear. Her eyes fell on the scooter at the bottom of the steps and lit up. "Oh, I know a way to get there faster."

Liam followed her gaze then shook his head adamantly. "Absolutely not! No way! Not after what happened earlier."

Riley dismissed him and tottered down the steps to her scooter.

“Riley!”

“Riley!”

“Riley!”

He hung his head with a heavy sigh as she exited. “Right behind you, my Queen.”

Permanent tags:

@burnsoslow​ @dcbbw​ @ao719​ @jessiembruno​ @hopefulmoonobject​ @texaskitten30​ @drakesensworld​ @janezillow​ @merridithsmiscellany-blog​ @mskaneko​ @loveellamae​ @queenjilian​ @sirbeepsalot​ @pedudley​ @caroldxnvxrs​ @jovialyouthmusic​ @forthebrokenheartedthings​ @desireepow-1986​ @bebepac​ @kingliam2019​ @lovablegranny​ @cordoniaqueensworld​ @amandablink​ @blueaster-blog1​ @liamxs-world​ @choiceskatie​ @iaminlovewithtrr​ ​  @hopelessromanticmonie​ @charlotteg234​ @twinkleallnight​ @annekebbphotography​ @txemrn​ @thecordoniandiaries​ @alyssalauren​ @cordonianroyalty​

[miloscat]

[Review] Super Monkey Ball 3D (3DS)

I was in a Hideki Naganuma mood today, so I played this game that he contributed some tracks to. As a game, it’s fine.

Unfortunately I can’t link you to Naganuma’s Soundcloud, because while he used to host his contributions for this game there they’ve been taken down, along with so much of his work. This was a real downer on my day. Hopefully it’s available at some streaming site or other.

Anyway, Monkey Ball. My experience with the series is some of the Sega crossover games, and half of Adventure on PSP. Compared to that, and what I’ve seen of the original game, the course design here seems less inventive and crazy by far. I do like that the learning curve is more gradual but it’s rarely satisfyingly challenging either. As I think I said at the time, riding that line is difficult and will vary depending on the player.

Perhaps I should step back and explain Monkey Ball? You have control over the tilt of the hazard-riddled playing field, which causes your orbed primate to roll in the direction of tilt. It’s alternately frantic and demanding of high precision, which is a recipe for disaster. Your goal is to get to the end fast, and possibly retry for better times. Personally I just want to succeed and move on.

In this case, sets of levels have themes to them (eg. made of giant desserts, or Chinese festival imagery), that occasionally impact on the design of the course but are often just set dressing. Each world has a bonus collectible banana, which is a slight element of extra engagement.

The spheroid-encased simians are as cute as ever, and as usual the four mains are your playable cast: AiAi, MeeMee, Baby, and GonGon. Many more exist but only in the other modes. Most Monkey Ball games have a few extra modes outside of the Marble Madness-esque main game, you see. In this case there’s a mediocre kart racer and a mediocre platform fighter, neither of which grabbed me at all, sadly.

I have heard laments about the quality of most latter-day Monkey Ball games, and now I think I understand them. This just seems uninspired, propped up by a host of guest musicians, but that doesn’t make for a compelling game necessarily. It doesn’t help that the close camera behind your globe-enclosed catarrhines on the wildly skewing world makes for a disorienting, even nauseating experience, especially on the dinky 3DS screen (even worse if the 3D slider is on!). Needless to say, the option for gyroscopic motion controls also makes the experience worse than using the perfectly serviceable circle pad. My recommendation is to find Naganuma’s tracks somehow and listen to them, and forget about the game.

[suga-angel]

A Crossroad Deal (6)

Summary: After getting out of a long term relationship, you try to move on with your life. However, having spent the last three years unavailable, you are not sure you know how to get back out there again, let alone if you even want to. That is, until you meet Jeon Jungkook, the barista at your college coffee shop. He is more than happy to help you wet your toes in the dating scene again, but at what cost?

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter (Coming Soon)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: A little of everything

Word Count: 5k

College!Jungkook, somewhat FuckBoy!Jungkook

A/N: Happy Holidays! Hope you enjoy!

Chop chop chop.

The sharpened metal sliced through its target with mastered ease. Every slice produced was cut with nearly impossible uniformity, with only the bare minimal going to waste. With each downwards glide of the knife, sharp aromas burst into the air, stimulating the senses. The smell alone encouraged the blade to move faster to the point that it waltzed along its wooden dance floor in a blur of vibrant red, green, and sterling silver. The experience was mesmerizing in itself; the outcome all the greater.

“Look at them.” A nearby voice sneered, judgment rolling from it in waves. The sound drew your thoughts away from your task long enough for your concentration to slip. The knife you had been skillfully wielding to chop up the peppers missed its target and instead kissed the side of your finger. A sharp hiss passed your lips from the sting, but your roommate continued to glare into the living room ignorantly. “Longing around the living room with a beer in hand while us women slave away in the kitchen. What are we, freakin’ house wives?”

“Yes,” You spat with as little condescension as could be managed while using your other hand to rummage through the junk drawer blindly for the bandage box. “Because the division of labor between us two women is split so evenly.”

“What?” She had the nerve to raise the pitch of her voice as she averted her gaze away from the boys. “I’ve helped!”

Using your teeth you tore at the bandage wrapping, all while leveling Minjin with an even stare. “Namjoon has been more of a help and his only job is to not break anything.”

“And a wonderful job I’ve been doing.” Namjoon sauntered in, raising his beer in a silent cheer. “Plus, me and Minho hyung carried everything up here and set up the living room while somebody fussed about their make-up.”

Your roommate’s cheeks tinged pink. “He was early! I had to hurry and get ready!”

“Actually, I was on time.” A pair of arms slithered around the woman’s waist from behind, eliciting a small yelp from her. “You were running late.”

“Again.” Namjoon accentuated your guest’s statement while sipping at his bear. “Plus, how long have you two been together? Does it even matter if he sees you without make up anymore?”

The couple both responded in contradicting fashions, much to your amusement. However, with a quick glance at the time, it faded quickly. With new fervor, you quickly went back to preparing your concoction. “Two minutes ‘til game time guys.”

That quickly woke everyone up. Namjoon sat down his beer and stepped up. “Okay, less than a hundred and twenty seconds on the clock guys. Y/N, finish up your salsa and cheese dip, hyung, check the bean dip in the oven, Minjin, grab the alcohol and shot classes, I’ll get the sliders and hot dogs, meet in the living room in sixty seconds. Break!”

With a clap of the hands, the kitchen broke out into frenzy. Right off the bat Namjoon started moving before the play was called, starting the desperate college students off badly with a false start.  The game then picked up with Minjin racing to the liquor cabinets only to be blocked by Minho approaching from her left. Meanwhile, Namjoon scrambled around them and headed for his target. Entrees in hand, he set his eyes on the end zone. However, first step in that direction and he’s fumbling the play. He frantically let out a desperate cry as he lunged to reclaim it, but Minho stealthily intercepts it.

“Check the bean dip!” he shouted over his shoulder as he scrambles around Minjin, who was struggling with her position as drink handler. To his right, you did your best to pull a hail Mary with your concoctions in the middle of this broken play.

“Done!” Namjoon let out a victorious shout as he reached in the oven bare handed to pull out the dip. Spotting her teammates error in judgment, Minjin cried out towards him but it is too late. With an anguish filled yelp, Namjoon stumbled back, cradling his burnt hand to his chest.

“Oppa, get to the living room, I got this!” you ordered to Minho, piling your prized recipes in your injured roommates arms before shoving him towards the end zone. “Go, go, go!”

His injury quickly forgotten, he hugged the bowls in his arms and rans down the field. You’re just about to get back to your task when you spot it; Minjin forgot the packet of shot glasses. “Oppa! Heads up!” You tossed the package to Minho, affectively passing them into the end zone. All that is left now is the dip.

“Y/N, hurry, the games about to start!” Minjin warned as she hurries to tear open the package Minho passed to her.

“Ten seconds!” Namjoon added, checking the time on his phone.

With speed you did not know you possessed, you shoved on the oven mitts and dived in to pull out the dip before making a sharp one eighty-degree turn and rushed for the final touchdown.

Ten feet…

Six feet…

Two and a Half…

Two…

One and three-quarters…

With an ear busting cheer from your teammates, you dove for the spot between Minjin and Namjoon backside first just in time to see the kick-off.

Minjin leans away from you with a small yelp. “Watch where you’re swinging that. I don’t want to end up like Joonie.”

“Joonie did that to himself,” you defended, setting the dip on the small section of empty space in the vast feast before you. Someone had managed to add small packaged pastries to the assortment without you realizing it. You were entirely grateful for it too. “Anyways, is it going to be me and Namjoon for the home team?”

“Hey!” Minjin protested, sitting up straight with a scowl. “Why do I have to play for the enemy?”

From behind her Minho watched his lover argue with a fond smile forming in the corner of his lips, as if he truly found even her disgust to be associated with his school team to be cute. It was not something you could quite wrap your head around.  

“Because you’re dating the enemy.” Your teammate remarked as he readied two shot glasses. “Sorry hyung.”

Being acknowledged snapped Minho out of whatever daze he had fallen into. His once love-sick smile was now replaced with a grin filled with mischief. “Where is your sense of loyalty to the love of your life, babe?”

She pursed her lips. “Fine. But only because our school teams sucks anyways.”

“Ha!” you exclaimed, moving to sit at the edge of your seat as your favorite defender sacked the opposing team. The impact was so forceful you couldn’t help but wince a bit in sympathy for the victim. Nonetheless, you didn’t let it deter you from thrusting the liquid punishment towards your roommate. “Karmas a bitch. Now drink up traitor.”

She accepted the shot glass with a scowl. “Competitions is ugly on you, you know.”

“That’s not very fair,” Minho defended, downing his shot in a quick tilt of his head. “I think it just brings out her inner colors.”

“More like her inner ugly.” Your roommate grumbled around the shot glass before downing it in much the same fashion as her teammate. With a small grimace she slammed the glass back down on the table. “Fill it up, slut. The next round will be for your losing ass.”

“Aren’t men supposed to be the overly competitive sex?” Namjoon inquired from beside you. His eyes drifted from between you and Minjin with half a smile starting to form on his perplexed face.

Minjin sneered. “That’s sexist.”

“Keep it up, Joonie.” Your eyes never left the screen as you spoke. “Keep goading her, we’ll have this game in the bag.”

That got her attention. “Hey, you still have to take a drink whether or not we spot it or not.”

You shook your head as you spoke. “If a tree farts and no one is around to hear it, does it leave a smell? No. And since no one smelt it, it’s like no one dealt it. Therefore, I don’t have to drink.”

The room fell into a silence as all eyes turned in your direction. Some, like Minjin, didn’t seem like she knew if she wanted to argue with your reasoning or give it to you for your creativity. Others, such as the male population, looked as if they had bitten into a lemon.

“That’s not how that saying goes,” Namjoon finally spoke up, looking you up and down with a slightly scrunched up nose.

“And I’m pretty sure what you’re talking about is cheating.” The older man added, a smile starting to tug at his lips despite himself.

“Honey, honey.” Minjin interjected, patting her boyfriend’s knee gently. “Give her that one, she earned it.”

Raising your bottle of beer in the air, you tilted it in her direction. “Damn straight I did.”

“Plus,” A small smirk formed on the other woman’s face. “By her own reasoning, we don’t have to take a shot for that penalty.”

“What?” Your head snapped in the direction of the screen just in time to see the referee calling the move. “Bullshit, take your drink you hoe!”

The bickering that followed would be one of many that would break out in the following hours. Sometime between the argument of what is considered a victory dance and the chip incident where Namjoon somehow managed to trip over the table at just the right angle to send the chip bowl flying back into the room it came from, the snacks that were once in plenty of supply had dried up to a few bits and pieces scattered between wrappers and used up napkins. By the time halftime came around, there was only breadcrumbs and what was left of the liquor standing proudly upon the ravaged table.

“Wow.” Minjin eyed the disaster that laid before her with wide eyes. “We’re pigs.”

“Excuse me?” Namjoon raised an eyebrow at his roommate. “This was all you two. I barely got one chip in before they were all gone.”

“Maybe if you hadn’t of kicked the chips off to Neverland you would’ve gotten some.” She countered, tilting her head towards the kitchen. Off in the distance the once clean floor was now a graveyard for the forgotten sliced potatoes who were whisked away before they could’ve fulfilled their crunchy destiny. Now they lay crumbled and defeated on the tile flooring, abandoned by their owner but never forgotten. The reminder pulled a hearty sigh from you as you looked on at the tragic sight.

“Speaking of which…” Oppa spoke up, glancing in the same direction as you. “Are we really not going to go pick that up?”

“Leave it.” Gloom took root in your voice as you spoke. “They are a reminder of what was lost.”

“Hyung is right, we’re going to get ants.”

The doubt was clear in the look you shot him. “We’re on the second floor.”

He merely gave a shrug. “Bugs don’t discriminate.”

“I don’t do bugs.” With a small shiver, Minjin stood up. “You guys clean that up, I’m heading to the market to grab a few snacks for the rest of the game.”

Minho perked up at the mention of food. “Oh, get those cute sugar cookies while you’re out. You know, with the sprinkles.”

That got Namjoon’s attention. “Oh, and those gummies. The one’s shaped like the Minions, not those fake Ninja Turtle shits they sell.”

A smirk slowly formed as she leaned down to grab her purse. “I’m dating a child.”

“Hey, we’re manly.” The offense that took form in the older mans tone was matched by the slight puffing of his chest.

Your roommate nodded in agreement. “Our manliness is so great we’re not even threatened by your attempt to emasculate us.” Despite his noble words, you didn’t miss the way his muscles flexed against the fabric of his sleeves.

“Right. My mistake.” Her teeth flashed the group as her lips spread out into a brilliant smile. “I’ll be back in ten.”

“Don’t forget my cookies!” Minho called after her.

“And chips!” You added hastily after glancing at the graveyard once more.

With a roll of her eyes, she said her final goodbye before closing the door after her. Minho stared after her for a few moments, seeming to be counting down to something in his head. Soon after he sat up straighter, turning his full attention to the remaining of the group. “I need to talk to you guys.”

His statement caught you as you were scooping the remaining fudge that clung to the pastry wrapper with your finger. The delectable chocolate had barely passed your lips when he had turned in your direction. With the wide eyes of someone who had been caught in the act, you reply with an startled, “What?”

The older graduate paid you no mind, already used to your shameless behavior. “Our anniversary is coming up. Mine and MinMin’s.”

Joonie visibly cringed from the nickname. “We’re very much aware.”

“Yeah, well I want to make it special.” Minho continued on. “And as you know, your apartment is the first place we met…”

This time it was your turn to scrunch up your face. “Please, we are all very much aware of your rom-com worthy love story.”

Namjoon nodded vigorously. “Painfully so.”

Minho had the decency to smile sheepishly. “Well, I was thinking I could re-enact it here. You know, buy her favorite pizza, put on my old uniform, come and surprise her with dinner and a bunch of other cheesy memory lane stuff. But it would kind of be ruined if her two roommates were in the apartment to reminisce with us…”

You blinked a couple of times. “He’s trying to kick us out of our apartment.”

“Minjin would love that though.” To your horror, you noticed the smile that was forming on your friend’s face. “You know how into that cringy romantic shit she is.”

“But…” you stammered, buying yourself time to think up an excuse. “But where would I go?”

“You’d be more than welcome to stay at my place.” Minho offered helpfully, blinding you with his annoyingly hopeful smile.

It did nothing to stop the taste of bile that rose to your throat. “With Jinho? Yeah, that definitely isn’t going to happen.”

Namjoon shrugged. “I’m going to go stay with Hoseok, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”

“I can hear Yoongi oppa complaining now.” Just one look at the doe eyed man in front of you had a sigh being extracted from you. “Fine, I’ll brave Jihyun’s couch.”

Before you could comprehend what was happened, a pair of strong arms was encircling you in a tight hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

A chuckle escaped your lips despite yourself. “Yeah, well, you guys are too cute to stand in your way anyways.”

“Sickeningly so.” A smile broke on Namjoon’s lips at his words.

Minho’s grin lit up his face. “Really, thank you. Minjin will love it. I just know it.”

“Just don’t love it on any surface that is communal.” Namjoon’s nose crinkled as he spoke. Your head quickly nodded along with his statement. No one wanted to relive what happened last time the lovebirds had the apartment to themselves. Some thing could not be unseen.

He older man ducked his head with a sheepish grin. “Will do.”

“Well, we might as well get to cleaning up the kitchen,” you stated grimly. “Minjin will not let us live it down if she finds a bug in the apartment.”

“Nose goes!” Minho had his finger flying to the tip of his nose before the words even passed his lips. You were quick to follow fashion, staring wide eyed at the bewildered graduate beside you.

“How old are you two again?”

“Old enough to know that this,” Minho motioned with his free hand between yourself and Min-ho while his finger remained attached to his nose, “means that we don’t have to do shit.”

A victorious grin split your cheeks. “So get to work, you slow fucker.”

With a smug sense of pleasure, you watched your grumbling friend stand to his feet and make his way to clean up his disaster. Beside you, Minho gave a good-natured chuckle as he started to pick up some of the wrappers that had been carelessly thrown around the room. You bend over to help him out when you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket.

Must be Jihyun, you thought as you pull out your phone. Your obnoxious friend had been upset all week about not being able to make the traditional game day drinking game today. You wouldn’t put it past her to bitch about it some more over texts. To your surprise though, it was not Jihyun who had messaged you.

Mickey: Come over [2:47p.m.]

Mickey: Plz? [2:47p.m.]

Mickey: I’m sick of studying [2:48p.m.]

Mickey: I have pizza? [2:49p.m.]

The corners of your mouth tugged upwards as your eyes scanned your screen. Within seconds, your fingers were flying across your keyboard.

You: Pineapple? [2:50p.m.]

Mickey: Duh. [2:51p.m.]

Mickey: U in? [2:51p.m.]

Your index finger tapped against the side of your phone as you glanced up at your surroundings. If you were being honest, the game thus far had left your head a little more tipsy than you would like to admit. It would probably be a bad idea to go anywhere at this point. Plus, you and Namjoon were sure to win this time. You couldn’t call it quits now. And anyways, the other boy really had some studying to get done if he hoped to pass his class.

You: Save me some, I’ll stop by tomorrow [2:55p.m.]

With your mind made up, you set your phone on the table to get back to cleaning up. Tomorrow you’d have to put up with his complaints but it was for his own good. To your surprise, your phone vibrated not long after.

Mickey: Fine, but only a slice of the cheese one [2:58p.m.]

Mickey: Late comers don’t deserve pineapple [2:59p.m.]

A head suddenly appeared over your shoulder. “What are you smiling at?” The sound of his voice startled you enough to look up from your phone. Quickly, you pressed the power button to shut down your screen, but it was too late; a smirk was already forming on the older man’s lips. “Mickey? Is that the guy Minmin was telling me about?”

Your shoulder lifted in a careless shrug as you pocketed your phone. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Right.” The tone of his voice portrayed his true thoughts on the matter. “Is he who you’ve been sneaking out at night to go see the past few weeks?”

“I’m a grown ass women and this is my damn apartment, I do not have to sneak out of it.” You huff indignantly; making sure your voice was low enough so that it couldn’t be heard from the kitchen. “And anyways, why is your girlfriend gossiping about me?”

“She’s excited.” He stated simply. “She says it’s about time you got out of your dry spell.”

A red tinge settled on the apples of your cheeks. “I am not going through a dry spell!” You hissed desperately under your breath.

Minho raised his trash filled hands in surrender. “Hey, I don’t judge.”

“There’s nothing to judge!”

“What are we judging?” Namjoon questioned, walking back into the room. Traces of the chip disaster were evident on his socked feet. You jumped at the opportunity given to you.

“The fact that you’re trailing crumbs all over the floor with your dirty socks.” You jabbed a finger in the offending party’s direction, affectively drawing everyone’s attention towards them. “Minjin will throw a bitch fit if she comes back to see that.”

“At least I’ve been cleaning, what have you two been doing?” Even though his voice was laced with indignation, he toed at his socks to rid them of any evidence.

“Cleaning up after your ass, like usual.” You quickly interjected when you spotted Minho opening his mouth to reply. “You two boys are slobs, honestly.”

There it was, the perfect thing to distract both of your possible attackers. Both of their attentions were instantly focused on you in different stages of offense. Minho was the first to object.

“Did she just speak to me informally?”

“You and Minjin are the one’s who destroy the apartment!” Namjoon soon followed with.

“Excuse me?” At that instance, the sound of a door slamming shut echoed through the room. Standing in the doorway was Minjin, her arms being loaded with various bags of groceries. It was clear she was implementing her one trip only policy by how her arms were being weighed down with more bags than she could comfortably carry, but she seemed to have forgotten all about them as she set a deadly glare on your roommate. “You want to pass that by me again Namjoon, you clumsy shit?”

As expected, the apartment was soon filled with various forms of blame aversion and cases made in defense. It did not take long for your nightly where about and mysterious messenger to easily fall from everyone’s memory.

“Order up!”

The sharp ringing of the bell attempted to cut through the rambunctious chatter of the rush hour crowd. Despite its obnoxious pitch and quick, incessant rhythm, none of the buzzing customers seemed to take much notice to it; instead, they continued their conversations eagerly, paying no attention to the steaming barista behind the counter. The poor boy could not be older than sixteen, but the irritation that was coming off of him in waves said that if he was kept waiting much longer, he would lose it. Right when you were certain that his grip on the caffeinated drink would certainly crush the cup in his grasps, a customer lazily strolled up to the counter to claim the beverage from its tragic fate. With more force than was needed, the teenager shoved the drink into the college student’s hand, walking away with no more than a glare in the customer’s direction.

Part of you felt bad for the poor barista as you watched him prepare the next order over the view of your coffee cup. If you were being honest, the customers were grating on your own nerves with their excessive volume. There was absolutely no need to be talking that enthusiastically in such small quarters as the café. However, you found that the levels of your annoyance were steadily lowering with each sip of your drink that you took. So instead of dwelling on the repercussions of flinging the muffin you bought Jihyun at a neighboring group of girls’ (who obviously weren’t taught about inside voices), you took a deep breath and continued to watch the aggravated barista lose his temper over the espresso maker.  

The only thing that brought your attention away from the oncoming tantrum was the vibration of your phone. The suddenness of it had you jumping a bit in your seat, causing a bit of coffee to dribble down your chin. With a quick swipe of the back of your hand, you pulled out the offending party with your free hand to check the screen.

Mickey: remind me again [7:12p.m.]

Mickey: why am I here? [7:12p.m.]

Your eyes rolled back into your skull as you read over the messages. Leave it to him to be so dramatic over something so routine.

You: I ask myself that question about you everyday, honestly [7:14p.m.]

You: I mean, do we really need another shameless flirt on this earth? [7:14p.m.]

You: seems a bit last season, don’t you think? [7:15p.m.]

You typed out your message single handedly, using your other one to bring your warm coffee to your lips. You didn’t have to wait long for a reply.

Mickey: We all know what my purpose on this earth is, sweetcheeks {7:18p.m.]

Mickey: I am a gift to women everywhere. [7:19p.m.]

An involuntary snort came of you. You could just feel the smugness rolling off of him through the phone. He needed to be knocked down a few pegs. Squaring your shoulders a bit, you set your cup down on the table so that you could turn your complete attention to your phone.

You: More like punishment. [7:22 p.m.]

Mickey: You seem tense, baby girl [7:24 p.m.]

Mickey: Bet I could make you feel better with just one touch ;) [7:25 p.m.]

Heat rose to the apple of your cheeks despite yourself. You convinced yourself it was from the stuffiness of the room, not from your own imagination of course.

You: Case and point [7:29 p.m.]

You: You’re shameless [7:30 p.m.]

Mickey: It’s a gift really [7:36 p.m.]

“What are you smiling at?” Your co-worker sat across from you suddenly, eyeing you almost distastefully. “You look like you’re about to giggle and puke rainbows or something. It’s gross.”

It was only then that you noticed the way your lips split into an involuntary smile. You quickly wiped it from your face, replacing it with a scowl. “Shut up. You’re late.”

She sighed bristly at that, taking the extra cup of coffee and muffin from you. “Yeah, well, not all of us were able to get off early, Miss Over Achiever. God, I almost miss when you were in your slum so that we were failures together. Now you’re back to being ahead of schedule and responsible and shit.”

You couldn’t help the small tug of your lips. “Yeah well, you owe this over achiever ten bucks. The coffee and muffin aren’t free.”

In that moment, you felt your phone vibrate in your hand again.

Mickey: Come baaaack [7:47p.m.]

Mickey: I’m about to die from boredom in this class [7:47 p.m.]

You: Suck it up, frat boy [7:49 p.m.]

You: It’s called getting an education [7:50 p.m.]

“Whatever,” she grumbled around her muffin. “Anyways, who are you texting? Is it Jimin again?”

“Becoming possessive already?” you teased, smirking around your cup of coffee. “How un-Jihyun like.”

The woman across from you merely stuffs another large chunk of muffin into her mouth. “You two text constantly. And plot. I know he didn’t come up with the idea to send me those singing telegrams on his own, asshole.”

“That was actually his idea. The boy is committed.”

A rather un-ladylike like snort escaped her. “Jimin doesn’t have a committed bone in his body.”

From the corner of your eye you saw your phone light up with a notification. “What about that proposition he made you?”

Mickey: It’s called a snooze fest [8:04 p.m.]

Mickey: Anyways, what kind of lame activity are you up to? [8:05 p.m.]

Mickey: Wait, let me guess [8:06 p.m.]

Mickey: Watching descendants of the sun [8:07 p.m.]

Mickey: Again. [8:07]

“Fine, the only commitment he has is to his dick.” The harshness of her words has you pulling your gaze from your screen. “I mean, when was the last time an arrangement like that ever worked out, anyways? It’s stupid.”

“I don’t know, I don’t think so.” You gave a shrug at the doubtful look she shot you. “I mean, he’s attractive. From what you said he knows what he’s doing. What could it hurt?”

“Please.” The tone of her voice was if she was explaining the obvious. “Men are fragile little things, Y/N. They have too many grown up feelings for their small testosterone brains to take. Things never stay as simple as they say they will.”

The corner of your lips twitched as you averted your attention back to your screen. “I’m pretty sure that’s not how that stereotype is applied.”

You: you’re offensive tone is ruining the taste of my muffin [8:12 p.m.]

“That’s because men tried to cover up for their neediness by putting it on us. It’s a big cover up, I tell you.” If it weren’t for the fact that you weren’t entirely convinced she wasn’t being serious, you would find her conspiracy theories somewhat comical. It was Jihyun, after all.

“I’m sure it is.” Setting your phone aside for the last time, you turn your full attention back to your coworker. “Anyways, I need a favor.”

Jihyun tilted her head to the side as she studied you. “Waive the ten bucks for this stuff and you got it.”

“What?” You blinked a couple of times. “Fuck that bitch, pay up.”

“Do you want my help or not?”

“You don’t even know what it is!” Your voice started to rise as you spoke, but you paid it no mind. If everyone else can be noisy in this shack so could you.

She gave a short sigh. “Fine, what is it?”

“I need to borrow your couch this coming Saturday.” Sensing the argument rising in her, you added more hastily, “Minho is pulling some grand romantic gesture for their anniversary and is kicking me and Namjoon out.”

“Couples. I swear, they’re so entitled.” The last bit of muffin she was holding was quickly flung onto her napkin in disgust. “I would revolt. You pay rent, you have rights.”

“Jihyun.” The tone of your voice was fighting between amusement and exasperation. “Your bitch is showing.”

You watched as your friend proceeded to dump enough sugar to create a small tower into her drink, unbothered by your words. “Good. Let the bitch flag fly, she needed some air after being suffocated under all that sugarcoated pleasantry bullshits.”

“Just play nice, Minho is being a gentleman. It’s sweet and romantic.”

“Sweet my ass,” the woman across from you grumbles, reaching to a neighboring table beside you to grab the sugar packets as she had used up all of your own. The couple sitting there shot her judgmental glares, but if she noticed it she made no sign of it. “Anyways, you can’t spend the night. My brothers coming to town and is occupying the couch this weekend.”

An obnoxious groan was born in your throat, drawing a few startled glances your way. “Where the fuck am I supposed to go now?”

“I’m telling you, you have rights.” Her eyes glanced up at you from her coffee cup. The White Mountain had nearly doubled in size, but she showed no sign of stopping. “Fuck the system, fight the couples.”

“I prefer fuck the couples, fight the system,” a deeper voice interjected. The screeching of chair legs against the laminate floor soon followed as your uninvited guest made himself at home at the table, his cheeky smile being full of insinuations. “It opens a lot more interesting doors that way.”

Your coworker’s faced screwed up in disgust. “Is everyone in your fraternity as perverse as you and the duo?”

“No… but they’re not nearly as much fun either.” Jungkook replied with his signature smirk before turning to face you. “And you, do you not know how to answer your phone?”

“I didn’t know you texted.” As you spoke, you reached back over for your phone, thumbing over the main key to bring the phone to life. Your eyes widened a bit when you spotted how many missed texts you had. Quickly, you tried to shut off your screen again but it was too late.

“Mickey?” Jungkook reached out and plucked your phone out of your hands indignantly. “Who the fuck is Mickey? And why is your phone password protected?”

“It’s Jimin.”  Jihyun piped up, stirring the white grains into her coffee. “I don’t know why she calls him Mickey though.”

“Is that a codename? Jimin has a codename and I don’t?” The look of betrayal that washed over Jungkook’s face was more than unjustified in your opinion.

“It is none of your business who it is.” Huffing, you reached out and snatched your phone out of the younger boy’s grasps. “And my phone is password protected because of nosy people like you trying to get on and snoop.”

“Whatever.” With a small shrug, he tore off a piece of your muffin. He eyed the crowded café as he pushed the moist pastry past his lips. His eyes zeroed in on the barista behind the counter. “It’s busy at this time. Poor sap.”

“You could always offer to help him,” you offer, unbothered by the theft as you take a sip of your drink. “You know, be a good coworker and all that stuff.”

“Fuck that shit.” Jihyun eyes the barista. Despite her harsh words, there were traces of sympathy in her voice. “Jungkook’s off. Let the kid sweat.”

The younger man leaned back in his chair with a broad grin. “Couldn’t have put it better myself.”

Shaking your head, you cracked a smile at them around the rim of your cup. “You two are despicable.”

“Thank you.” They both spoke in unison, drawing a chuckle from you.

“Anyways, I just stopped by for some muffin.” He leaned over to grab another rather sizable piece of your muffin as he got to his feet. When he spoke, it was around a mouthful of bread. “I have another class I need to get to.”

“You better hurry,” you comment, glancing at the time on your phone. “You have three minutes before your class starts.”

“Shit.” With quick drink from your cup, he dashed out of the café, calling back a greeting of some kind as he clumsily ran into a group of unsuspecting customers on his way out. The absurdness of it drew a chuckle from your lips as you brought your cup up for another drink.

“You know…” Jihyun began, watching after his retreating form through glass window. “He’s not at all what I expected.”

A more natural smile tugged at your lips. “Believe me, I know.”

Once again you heard more than felt your phone buzz against the wooden table. Glancing down at it, you noticed you had quite a bit of missed messages. Scanning over them, you zeroed in on the newest one.

Mickey: Stop by my place later? [8:29p.m.]

Under the watchful eye of your friend, you didn’t care let your lips stretch anymore than they were already. However, you could not help the burst of joy you felt as you quickly typed out your response.

You: Always do. [8:30p.m.]

A/N: I am so so sorry that this took so long! Uni has been crazy. Anyways, I apologize if I completely butchered the sports terminologies in the beginning of the chapter. I know close to nothing about sports and I don’t think the hours of research I tried to do on football really fixed that... Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you though =)

[markclutch2-blog]

Our Wedding // Liquid Ditty Cocktail

All wedding pictures in this post are by our very talented photographers, The Spragues. These photos cannot be used without their permission.

Almost a year later, I have finally managed to sit down and write about our wedding. It was largely a DIY affair, brought to life by many, many helping hands. We celebrated with a small group of 40 people – just immediate family and close friends – at my parents’ house in Maine, where Trevor and I have been going together since high school. Insanely, wonderfully, my parents built a barn on the hill above our house to host our reception. By hand. I know, we are incredibly spoiled. It took many weekends of labor to bring the boat barn to fruition, but in some ways building the barn was the part of the wedding I loved most of all. Working alongside both sets of parents to build a structure to house our friends and family felt purposeful and unifying. And walking up the hill that day to see the barn filled with our handmade oak farm tables, tables covered in copper vases and pink flowers, candles and string lights filling the whole space with warmth… it was so incredibly beautiful. I don’t really have a photo that adequately captures the magic of that space, but these come close.

I don’t remember the day in that much detail, but what sticks with me the strongest is our ceremony. Standing under the pine trees clinging to Trevor’s arm, my brother welcoming our friends, my mother standing at my side, and the teary-eyed faces of so many of the people that I love staring back at me, I felt a truly powerful surge of love and wonder. We spent the weeks leading up to the wedding writing our ceremony, which was difficult, but important: when we stood up there, we knew exactly what we were saying and why. My brother officiated, and standing in the basement in a bit of a panic moments before the ceremony, hearing my friends laugh as he stood up there joking with the crowd was truly what calmed me enough to get myself out the door.

And then, we were off. People stood in clusters on the lawn drinking white wine and playing lawn games, or sat on the dock watching the light change over the lake. As the sun started to set we were seated at the long farm tables and the toasts began, making me cry, for the first time that day. Then we ate, and laughed, and talked, and it felt exactly like the wonderful dinner party we were envisioning.

After dinner, the evening devolved, as we had hoped it would, into tequila shots and dancing barefoot on the lawn, friends sneaking off into the woods and out on the canoe, sitting around the campfire and eating s’mores. This is less a memory and more a blur of mental snapshots. Immediately after the wedding I felt devastated by the fact that I couldn’t remember each moment, but a year later, I’ll take the happy blur. Happy blur is what we were going for, after all.

As for the details, for those of you who get into this kind of thing: the ceremony benches were planks of white oak milled from trees on the property. The tables, too, were made by hand and painstakingly finished to showcase the beautiful wood. I did the flowers myself, with the help of my bridesmaids, using homegrown dahlias, garden roses, astilbe, eucalyptus and hypericum. Plus cosmos, Queen Anne’s lace, and leucothoe borrowed from a neighbor’s garden two days before the wedding when it turned out one of the flower companies I had ordered from was a scam. Those missing flowers were the only near disaster of the whole DIY affair, and the day was promptly saved by my incredible friend Veronika, who bought all the roses at Wholefoods before she left Boston, and several generous neighbors. Cosmos and Queen Anne’s lace have a special place in my garden now.

And, since this is a food blog, the menu: for the happy hour, ceviche, buttermilk fried chicken bites in a waffle cone, and sliders (at the bride’s insistence!) with blue cheese and candied bacon. Dinner was family style, and heaping platters of espresso-rubbed flank steak, lemon rosemary roasted chicken, sweet corn succotash, and smoked gouda mashed potatoes made their way up and down the length of each table. We skipped the cake and instead went for mini pumpkin cheesecakes, blueberry pies, and banoffee parfaits. Everything was incredible and our caterers, Bar Harbor Catering Company, did a truly fantastic job. Not only was the food delicious but the event planning and coordination that they provided was just really game changing. Last but far from least, The Spragues captured everything perfectly, while somehow managing to seamlessly  join our guests in the party.

Beyond these pictures and memories, I have one more thing to share with you: our signature cocktail recipe. We wanted something that was autumnal without being overly cozy, to suit that in-between season of mid-September in Maine. We ended up with the Liquid Ditty: bourbon, dry hard cider from Bantam, Calvados, and honey-sage syrup. (An aside, Trevor and I just engaged in a rigorous debate about what to name this cocktail. A search on “Golden Apple” led us down a Wikipedia rabbit hole through Greek mythology to recently discovered dwarf planets. “Apple of Discord” was deemed unfit for a wedding cocktail, and I couldn’t convince him that “Apple of Bliss-chord” was hilarious. We considered “The Spitz,” named after the Esopus Spitzenburg apple tree in our front yard., but ultimately, we’ve settled on the “Liquid Ditty.” It’s a reference to Poe’s poem “The Bells,” which Trevor strongly associates with our wedding day. Plus, it’s catchy. Alternate name suggestions still welcome.) Nearly a year later, I’ve mixed up another batch to drink on the porch with Trevor. It’s just as delicious as I remember it – crisp and appley with just a hint of sage. We’ll be drinking these all September.

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A crisp and refreshing cocktail for the season in between summer and fall. Hard cider, Bourbon, Calvados, and honey-sage syrup come together for a chilled autumnal sipper. We came up with this drink to celebrate our wedding and now it’s a September favorite.

A Katie at the Kitchen Door original recipe.

Author: Katie at the Kitchen Door

Ingredients

For the honey-sage syrup:

1/2 cup water

1/2 cup honey

15 leaves fresh sage, roughly chopped

For each cocktail:

1 part Calvados

2 part Bourbon

1 part honey-sage syrup

1 part chilled hard dry cider, such as Bantam Wunderkind

1 sage leaf, for garnish

ice

Instructions

For the honey-sage syrup:

Bring all ingredients to a simmer. Let simmer for 3-5 minutes, until sage is bright green and syrup is foamy. Remove from heat and let steep for 10 minutes.

For each cocktail:

Stir together Calvados, honey-sage syrup, and Bourbon to combine. Pour over ice in an old-fashioned glass. Top off with cider, garnish with a sage leaf, and serve.

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Source: http://katieatthekitchendoor.com/2018/09/01/our-wedding-liquid-ditty-cocktail/

[texturecatering]

The Best 7 Caterers In London For Your Event

It is no confidential that an event can live or die by the standard of the food. You are only a few warm canapés away from a finish disaster. But it is also an enormous chance: if you can glare your guests with luxurious food all night, you will change their complete experience of your event. By making sure over your catering selection, you are providing your event the best opportunity to prosper. Here are some of the event management agency that will provide you the best service at an affordable price.

Ampersand

Cost: Mid-range

From gin and tonic glaciers to donuts carried on lightsabres, to a dessert bedroom construct completely out of pink elements, Ampersand's dishes focus to tell a tale. They are all regarding fun, uncommon, and unanticipated food ideas, without ever negotiating on maximum tastiness.

This is to a great extent down to the new extra of London chef wunderkind Ollie Dabbous, who is operating to generate one of the most creative and comprehensive menus on the London catering scene. And, with a malleable team, the worries of event production are taken from your elbows into their trustworthy hands.

Texture Catering

Cost- Mid-range

We are here to create the best and delicious food that looks greats and very mouth-watering in taste. We are committed to providing the best catering service in London. We give you everything from food and style of servings that can be an unforgettable event for you and memories also last forever. Give your guests the best experience with the Best wedding caterers in London who is famous, reliable, and provide quality food and service. We have an experienced team of chefs to give you the best taste in foods. Our creative approach of foods and its serving allures customers in London and it is home countries.

Zafferano

Cost: Medium-high

Zafferano's Italian roots are instantly evident; their name, above all, is Italian for saffron. They can track down their roots back to indulging Italian walkers, depending on local make, which they faith is genuine food. From these roots, they have grown a specific idea of what catering should provide - not just food, but a performance.

This extraordinary approach to catering is greatly stimulated by one of their directors, whose initial profession was as an opera singer. It is this inheritance, and their commitments to the experience of their cuisine, that distinctive Zafferano from the pack.

INN or OUT

Cost: Medium-high

When it arrives at Inn or Out, the food tells for itself. They have got completeness from 'Crab Doughnuts' (yep, we would not at all heard of them either), to amazing smoked brisket sliders with red Leicester and gherkin relish.

They only start to provide a feeling of the complete range of tasty bites that Inn or Out have become popular for. 

MUNCH FOOD COMPANY 

Munch Food Company are the caterers that have developed Manapes. In matter you have not heard of them, these are very large canapés - small food bites that have been constructing big: not one bite, but various, such as their 4 bite quiche.

But this is not just for the originality: plain, hearty, unprocessed canapés are a severe trend, with guests desiring something they can genuinely sink their teeth into. And, just the previous month, Munch Food was characterized in the Telegraph as the developers of this brand-new concept of what caterers should provide.

If you wish to take your event to the up level, these are the best caterers for you. 

Harbour and Jones 

Cost: Mid-range

Harbour and Jones have flourished in gathering one of the greatest quality teams in London. Here is Patrick, who originates all the generate locally, usually (literally) cherry-picking the elements himself. Then there is Courtney (pastry charmer) and John (Head Honcho) - simultaneously they include a crack team that won 'The best caterer of the year' at the 2014 Event Awards.

They are also the internal caterers at two of London's most amazing venues, 41 Portland Place and RSA House, refer that they will be the team that serves your event if you reserve either of those venues. 

Food by Dish

 Cost: Mid-range

With effects from Indonesia, Europe, America, and the Far East, Food by Dish fuses simultaneously a plethora of distinctive cuisines. Their various range not only notifies and fills their beautiful catering schemes, but it also refers that your guests can be provided a complete spread full of variations, meaning that everyone will leave totally delighted.

And, in together with this international impact, Food by Dish is also dedicated to a stern sustainability policy, referring that all their elements, where probable, originate locally - their poultry, for instance, arrives from Hertfordshire; their beef originates from Bedfordshire, and their lamb is from Kent. It is via this international and local extent that Food by Dish spots itself out.

[yumyummunchies-blog]

Occasion Preparation: How to Plan a Celebration on a Budget plan

The first time I prepared and hosted my own celebration it was sort of a disaster. Well, possibly not a complete disaster however when people started arriving I was still rushing to put out food. I failed to provide myself enough time to complete getting"assembled"and a few of the food ran out too rapidly. Okay. It was a disaster. Individuals still had enjoyable though and that's the most

essential thing.

That and the dessert. Considering that then I have actually found out a couple of features of party preparation. 5 Tips to Throw an Effective Party Here are 5 tips that are sure to save

you loan, time, and stress: Do not sweat the

little things. I have a tendency to go crazy when things aren't "best."Seldom

do things end up exactly like I planned so I attempt to simply go with the circulation. That way, when the guests get here, I'm not frazzled and can enjoy the celebration. Perfect or not. Use shortcuts such as the nugget sliders revealed above. It's a simple, stress totally free way to feed a lot of people without investing a lot of cash.

Serve it together with some spiced mayo or bbq sauce and you have actually got an incredible spread that took minutes. Prep food the day before the celebration. Cut up veggies, mix dips, and bake deals with one or 2 days ahead of time. I likewise like to lay out my platters, plates, and silverware the night before so I'm not scrambling at the last minute to find a dish. While these pointers work for any celebration, I was thinking particularly of the Superbowl when I created the dishes. Here are a few recipes that make certain to be winners at your next tailgate! 8 Super Bowl Recipes Buffalo Blue Cheese Hummus Active ingredients: 1-15 oz can white beans 1 clove of garlic 1 tbsp lemon juice 1/4 cup buffalo sauce or marinade(I utilized KC Masterpiece)1/4 blue cheese falls apart Directions: In a food processor combine the first four active ingredients and

blend until creamy. Include

the blue cheese crumbles and pulse a

few times. Serve instantly or shop in an airtight container

in the fridge

for as much as a week. Nugget Sliders I would make at least two of these for each person you are anticipating. Leftovers are always an advantage. Purchase fully prepared, packaged chicken nuggets and as many supper rolls as required. Prepare the nuggets per package guidelines. Open the rolls and location one nugget inside each roll. Serve together with condiments, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, etc. The following are a few other recipes you might like:

What are your favorite party planning suggestions and techniques? Krista is a better half and a stay-at-home mom to four kids. When she's not making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or cleaning up the mess from them she writes for her blog site, Budget plan Gourmet Mom.

She thinks that consuming on a budget doesn't indicate it can't be premium

food. That shows in the family friendly dishes she shares and the simple

to discover ingredients she utilizes. Not just can you follow her on her blog site On The post Occasion Planning: How to Strategy a Celebration on a Budget plan appeared initially on Mom it Forward.

[thecoroutfitters]

Written by R. Ann Parris on The Prepper Journal.

Editors Note: Another guest contribution from R. Ann Parris to The Prepper Journal. If you have information for Preppers that you would like to share then enter into the Prepper Writing Contest with a chance to win one of three Amazon Gift Cards with the top prize being a $300 card to purchase your own prepping supplies!

I’m the first to suggest that many prepper packs can go on a diet. However, there are some handy gadgets that can make our lives easier or be downright must-have’s, whether we’re mid-disaster, packing for fun, or heading out to hunt, fish, or cut timber.

At the moment, I’m going to umbrella all the various bags preppers carry under Bug-Out Bags. So, when I say “BOB” also consider the GHB-Get Home Bag, GOOD-Get Out Of Dodge bag, day/patrol packs, kayak/canoe grab bag, belt bags, and whatever our non-pocket, semi-expanded EDC-Everyday Carry kit goes in.

Many are also worth the weight and space as permanent fixtures in our everyday and rec vehicles, our SIP-Shelter in Place and vehicle-evac totes and rolling bins, and our sheds and fence-mending coats.

Besides the bare-bones basics that are universal (yet situationally dependent), here’s a handful of BOB items to think about…

Disposable Gloves  

Whether they’re truly disposable gloves or the kitchen types that are reusable but not truly a one-time purchase, some liquid-shielding gloves can be beneficial.

Many hunters use them to avoid pathogen contamination. One of my main purposes in keeping them handy is similar – protecting any nicks or larger cuts in grubby situations (I know for a fact you can use hand sanitizer and wash your hands wearing decent medical gloves on only one hand).

They’re also useful for preventing contact and cross contamination of something like poison oak/ivy while treating it or gingerly removing a suspicious leaf from Survival Dog’s coat.

Regular household gloves are a little tougher than exam gloves, and with some tape or an elastic hairband can still provide a decent seal. They can also go over a jersey-glove “liner” to form a warmer combination, one more resistant to rainy, wet conditions than the commonly packed leather shells or PVC-dipped garden gloves.

Skip the cafeteria/catering service gloves – they don’t fit well, they’re tough to get tight enough to be useful, and they’re very light duty.

Super long, heavy-duty work gloves are a little too bulky for me. There are some really good PVC-coated fisherman and janitorial gloves out there, but they’re a little pricey for me and a little too bulky for my purposes (versus a “good” set of “real” gloves).

My picks are the 7-10mil exam gloves in 5-pair pouches or the 2-pair packets of kitchen gloves, the ones that fit in back pockets and shirt pockets, and offer multiple changes for the same space and weight.

Pliers

Specifically, needle-nosed pliers with both decent textured ridges and decent to good wire cutters can be incredibly useful – useful enough to consider mod’ing a pouch for them or having them in your chest carrier.

Having them on-the-move handy helps with a biggie: detaching yourself from brambles or wire.

The ability to get a good grip on small and slick objects is huge, and my primary purpose – the snap that won’t pop, the strap that’s stubborn, the knot that got wet and then dried into concrete, a stiff zipper or if the zipper pull pops off,  and getting a stubborn bottle lid open various ways.

They also give us the torque to turn wire coat hangers into anything we want, among the various intended-use repair and access purposes.

My test of how good cutters are is if they can handle a fishhook.

I know for sad fact that you can get through steel chain link, three-strand barbed wire, and definitely the thinner cattle/dog wire fencing with less-robust options. (And the next on the list – oops.) These guys did a nice review on a fair variety in price ranges.

Pruners

I like bypass pruners over anvil types, and vastly prefer one-handed operation – to include the lock, but I will acknowledge that grip-loop latches have fewer failures than slider locks. Like a knife, a full tang is going to be sturdier than hollow plastic, although they’re heavier.

They’re a biggie for me, because I forage and I typically make small fires using mini tin-can rocket stoves or a Dakota pit. A good pair of pruners can handle even starchy cattail rhizomes, upland grasses, willow, and the size limbs I want, with far less noise and weight than a hatchet or machete, and eliminate carrying my curved harvest blades while packing.

Like the pliers mentioned above, they can also be used to clip and detach briars from gaiters, chaps, pants, sleeves, dogs’ coats, etc.

And, as I accidentally discovered on several different occasions, you can cut through your fence with a good set.

Hankies

I specify hankies, because they’re small, thin, and light. I know plenty who carry large bandannas for their noses, but I like having multiples that I can cycle through, and to not have any question which was for brow mops and coffee cups, and which was for my nose.

Small cloths are also easy and fast to wash and dry, and – huge – I can be washing and drying 1-3 and still have 1-3 dry and ready for me. Equally huge, I can pass a clean one to a partner and retain my own. With a bandanna, it’s all or nothing.

(I do, absolutely, use and carry bandannas – just not for my nose.)

Cotton & [Something] for Ticks

Ticks can be serious business. Attached long enough, they can transmit all kinds of diseases. Removed incorrectly, not only is the disease vector an issue, we can leave bits inside to create other infections.

That’s no good.

Snopes.com and others have low opinions of it, but I have great success soaking a cotton ball in vegetable or olive oil and holding it against a tick for 1-5 minutes. Some of them let go on their own. Others require just the lightest of tugs.

Since I tend to pack with cotton balls a small container of oils anyway, it’s easy enough.

Others have used options like petroleum jelly and vapor rubs, and I can remember using Dawn (specifically name-brand that time) as a good option for an initial flea, mite, and tick bath for rescue cats, dogs, horses, and even birds back in the dark ages before Advantix and shoulder-neck oils.

The advantage to each of those is that, like the oil, they have other purposes inside our kits – some of them multiple alternate uses – and they’re available in pocket-sized, pack-able containers without extra steps.

  Decent tweezers and a light are also biggies for adding to or including in a first aid kit for ticks alone, and well worth the weight versus cutting open a paw or hand to remove a broken thorn tip, splinter or insect stinger.

Even if you don’t go for making your own first aid kit instead of buying, and don’t go for those options, if you’re anywhere susceptible, please make some plans for ticks. We’re not in Permethrin head to toe 24/7.

Pet owners: Remember, ticks will hitch rides on even treated animals – they just don’t bite or suck, by treatment. Our critters can then carry them into our houses/camps, where they can easily transfer to humans.

Claritin

By “Claritin” I mean any allergy-type that will stop sniffles and sneezing without rendering our brains to noodles, although I do specifically really like Claritin-D and the Walmart 10 mg loratadine generic (versus other brands and generics).

For us, it’s not just about allergies – it’s about controlling the symptoms of any running nose.

Whether it’s hunting or trying to slide somewhere unnoticed, an ill-timed sneeze can bust you instantly, or mess up an aimed shot.

Sneezing and having to snort/shoot rockets to breathe is going to make it tough to get rest, especially if the best rest possible is already cat naps or light dozing. It may also disturb any partners who also desperately need rest if humping the backwoods.

Cough Drops

Cough drops are there for the same reason – stopping the various types of coughs we might have to avoid detection, inopportune timing, and disturbances.

As with small packets of hankies, I tend to think small rolls or boxes stashed in readily-available pockets/pouches is best.

I also prefer the types wrapped in waxed-paper vice plastic. There’s a noise aspect as well as personal leanings about the type of waste produced. Small snack-sized zip-close baggies can keep them dry and contained.

Baggies are also an option to replace any bags we choose to buy instead of rolls/boxes. If we skip the Ziploc, double check that those bags have resealable tops.

  Weight Sucks That Are Worth It

There are basics that are listed in every single article about our various bags and kits. Shelter, warmth, foot gear, first aid, knives, duct tape, rain gear, and others are ubiquitous, while also being hugely dependent on our skills, intentions, family/group composition, location, and even season. Rope and bungee cords are biggies for any packing, evac and even SIP situations.

I’m not big on overloading or hauling rucks built for multi-day patrols in hostile nations. The basics and water take up enough weight and space as it is, especially in some climates and with pets and-or children.

These particular weight sucks are worth the load to me. I have them in multiple locations, multiple bags and boxes and in some cases tool belts and coat pockets, on a daily basis.

They regularly have multiple uses, although some require something to go “wrong” before we value them. They can keep us safer, make us more efficient, and save the day even before a Big Thing happens or a storm has us trapped, just bopping around our daily lives.

And, I have to throw it in there, even though it’s an “obvious, always” list item: Water.

As much as you can bear even “just” for an afternoon park stroll, in whatever containers work for the budget, water is worth its weight.

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from The Prepper Journal Don't forget to visit the store and pick up some gear at The COR Outfitters. How prepared are you for emergencies? #SurvivalFirestarter #SurvivalBugOutBackpack #PrepperSurvivalPack #SHTFGear #SHTFBag

[csrgood]

Hilton Commits to Cutting Environmental Footprint in Half and Doubling Social Impact Investment

Hilton today announced it will cut its environmental footprint in half and double its social impact investment by 2030. With this commitment, Hilton will become the first major hotel company to institute science-based targets to reduce carbon emissions and send zero soap to landfill.

The company will also double the amount it spends with local and minority-owned suppliers, and double its investment in programs to help women and youth around the world. These goals are part of Hilton’s Travel with Purpose corporate responsibility strategy to further the United Nation’s 2030 Sustainable Development Agenda.

New consumer research reaffirms Hilton’s corporate responsibility strategy. According to a survey of 72,000 Hilton guests, social, environmental, and ethical considerations are central to their buying preferences, especially those younger than 25 years-old. The six-day survey was conducted in May 2018 and asked travelers if they research a hotel company’s environmental and social efforts. It discovered:

33% actively seek this information before booking – of those, 60% conduct research even if the information is not easily accessible 

44% under the age of 25 actively seek this information

36% of leisure travelers actively seek this information, compared to 29% of business travelers

Female travelers (39%) are more likely to actively seek this information before booking than male travelers (29%)

Guests staying in Central/South America (46%), the Middle East/Africa (45%), Asia Pacific (41%), and mainland Europe (35%) are more likely to seek this information before booking

“For nearly 100 years, Hilton has been driven by our mission to have a positive impact on the communities surrounding our hotels,” said Christopher J. Nassetta, President and CEO, Hilton, and Chairman, World Travel & Tourism Council. “In this Golden Age of Travel, we are taking a leadership role to ensure that the destinations where travelers work, relax, learn and explore are vibrant and resilient for generations of adventurers yet to come.”

In April, Nassetta joined Patricia Espinosa, Executive Secretary of the UN Framework Convention on Climate Change, to engage travel and tourism industry leaders in a “common agenda” to take action on climate change, implement the Paris Climate Agreement, and adopt science-based targets to reduce carbon emissions.

Hilton’s new 2030 Goals include the following environmental and social targets:

Cut Environmental Impact in Half to Help Protect the Planet

Reduce carbon emissions intensity by 61%, in line with the Paris Climate Agreement and approved by the Science Based Targets Initiative (SBTi)

Reduce water consumption and produced waste by 50%

Remove plastic straws from managed properties

Sustainably source meat, poultry, produce, seafood and cotton

Expand existing soap recycling program to all hotels and send zero soap to landfill 

Double Social Investment and Drive Positive Change in Communities

Double the amount spent with local, small and minority-owned suppliers

Double investment in opportunity programs for women and youth, including partnering with local organizations and schools

Contribute 10 million volunteer hours through Team Member initiatives

Double monetary support for natural disaster relief efforts

Advance Human Rights capabilities in Hilton’s value chain to eradicate forced labor and trafficking 

Hilton is already an environmental leader in the industry. Since 2008, the company has reduced carbon emissions and waste by 30%, and energy and water consumption by 20%, saving more than $1 billion in operating efficiencies. LightStay, an award-winning performance measurement system calculates, analyzes and reports the environmental impact at each of Hilton’s more than 5,300 hotels. Hilton will use LightStay to track its goal of reducing carbon emissions by 61% across its portfolio by 2030.

“The World Tourism Organization commends Hilton’s focus on sustainability, which is in line with our overall commitment as the UN’s agency that is dedicated to promoting sustainable tourism for development worldwide,” said Zurab Pololikashvili, Secretary-General of the World Tourism Organization (UNWTO). “Hilton has been our partner in this endeavor, raising awareness among customers with examples of best practices for the hospitality industry.”

“Companies play an integral role in solving our climate crisis,” said Sheila Bonini, Senior Vice President, Private Sector Engagement, World Wildlife Fund. “By committing to significant intensity emissions reductions based on science, Hilton is setting in motion a plan that will have ripple effects across the hospitality industry while providing more sustainable options for travelers.”

Click here to learn more about Travel with Purpose and the 2030 Goals.

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About Hilton Hilton (NYSE: HLT) is a leading global hospitality company, with a portfolio of 14 world-class brands comprising more than 5,300 properties with more than 863,000 rooms, in 106 countries and territories. Hilton is dedicated to fulfilling its mission to be the world’s most hospitable company by delivering exceptional experiences – every hotel, every guest, every time. The company's portfolio includes Hilton Hotels & Resorts, Waldorf Astoria Hotels & Resorts, Conrad Hotels & Resorts, Canopy by Hilton, Curio Collection by Hilton, DoubleTree by Hilton, Tapestry Collection by Hilton, Embassy Suites by Hilton, Hilton Garden Inn, Hampton by Hilton, Tru by Hilton, Homewood Suites by Hilton, Home2 Suites by Hilton and Hilton Grand Vacations. The company also manages an award-winning customer loyalty program, Hilton Honors. Hilton Honors members who book directly through preferred Hilton channels have access to instant benefits, including a flexible payment slider that allows members to choose exactly how many Points to combine with money, an exclusive member discount that can’t be found anywhere else, and free standard Wi-Fi. Visit newsroom.hilton.com for more information, and connect with Hilton on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and YouTube. 

About Travel with Purpose Travel with Purpose is Hilton’s corporate responsibility strategy to redefine and advance sustainable travel globally. By 2030, we plan to double our social impact and reduce our environmental footprint in half. We track, analyze and report our environmental and social impact at each of Hilton’s 5,300 hotels through LightStay, our award-winning performance measurement system. Travel with Purpose capitalizes on Hilton’s global scale to catalyze local economic growth; promote human rights; invest in people and local communities and preserve our planet by reducing our impact on natural resources. Our strategy aligns with the United Nations Sustainable Development goals. Visit cr.hilton.com to learn more.

source: http://www.csrwire.com/press_releases/41056-Hilton-Commits-to-Cutting-Environmental-Footprint-in-Half-and-Doubling-Social-Impact-Investment?tracking_source=rss

[chasecampen]

Tasty Easter Brunch Options Around LA

When Easter Sunday rolls around, most of us are in full-on brunch mode. And while you may already have plans for a proper prime rib dinner later in the day, there's no rule saying you can't do both. This town's packed with excellent brunch options for any weekend. Check out some of this weekend’s delicious special offerings.

CATCH

A beachfront brunch at a luxe hotel - Santa Monica

Sit down to a proper prix fixe at oceanfront eatery inside the luxe Casa del Mar Hotel. For $110 a pop, you’ll get three courses with appetizers like tuna carpaccio or lobster Benedict, entrees of seared Chilean sea bass or rack of lamb, and a few desserts (chocolate Easter eggs and cheesecake together) that will make you swear off the whole paleo thing forever. The $45 kids’ menu includes an entree and dessert -- here’s hoping Junior has the wherewithal to choose the petit filet over the chicken fingers. 11am to 4pm. Make reservations here, or call 310.581.5533

BALTAIRE

A swanky steakhouse buffet with prime rib and spring lamb - Brentwood

This clubby and contemporary steakhouse’s popular a la carte brunch menu will be replaced with a special buffet in honor of the holiday for one day only, so get it will you can. For $85 per person ($45 for children) Easter diners can hit the prime rib-heavy carving station and shellfish tower and load up on breakfast specials, glazed ham, roasted spring lamb, salads, house-made pastries, and desserts. 10am to 3pm. Make reservations here; walk-ins accepted based on availability

GRACIAS MADRE

Vegan fare in a bright and airy space - West Hollywood

Sure, there are carnivores out there who’ll announce they want nothing to do with a vegan Easter brunch, but they’ll end up sheepishly scarfing down everything once they set foot in this gorgeous WeHo space that doles out meatless wonders. The usual plant-based brunch menu will be supplemented with specials of cashew ricotta-stuffed French toast and grilled garlic-breadcrumb-spiked grilled asparagus, in addition to the tequila-based Easter cocktail La Aviacion done with violet, maraschino, and lemon. Groups will, of course, need a pitcher of habanero-infused Mexican mimosas. 10am to 3pm. Make reservations here.

GEORGIE

An over-the-top buffet at the upscale Montage - Beverly Hills

If you’re in the mood to get all dolled up and go decadent this Easter, head for Geoffrey Zakarian’s sophisticated scene at the Montage. For a cool $128, you can access the grand buffet, toggling from carving station to oyster-shrimp-and-snow-crab-stocked raw bar to the omelet station to a dumpling bar before topping it all off with a crazy number of dreamy desserts. If you’ve got kids in tow (whose buffet will cost $45 if they’re ages 4 to 12), use them as a reason to stop eating for five minutes and head outside for the Easter Egg Hunt in Beverly Canon Gardens. 11:30am to 3pm. Make reservations here.

RAY'S AND STARK BAR

Cap off your patio brunch with a museum visit - Miracle Mile

LACMA’s stylish onsite bar and restaurant, which boasts an especially pleasant patio, will be offering its usual brunch menu and pizza selections along with a few Easter specials, including pancakes topped with dark chocolate ganache and caramelized bananas and eggs Benedict atop a pizza muffin. Tack on a post-brunch visit to the museum afterward and feel like you accomplished something. 10am to 3pm. Make reservations here.

OCEAN PRIME

Sophisticated surf-and-turf brunching on Wilshire - Beverly Hills

Seafood and steak are surrounded by swankiness at this Modern American haunt. Its special Easter a la carte menu will include brunchy staples with upscale adds, like French toast with candied bacon and berries; a Bloody Mary garnished with a jumbo shrimp; and a lobster claw and short rib surf-and-turf eggs Benedict.  From 11am. For reservations, call 310.859.4818

RED HERRING

Chicken and waffles and cocktails - Eagle Rock

Executive chef Dave Woodall and his TV producer wife Alexis Martin Woodall have been serving upscale comfort food to Eastsiders at this attractive neighborhood spot for the last year and a half, including brunch favorites like the breakfast Caesar, fried chicken and waffles, and a brioche egg sandwich. Try the innovative cocktail menu’s new Springtime Sour -- based around juniper-and-cucumber-infused white wine -- and expect a TBD Easter special or two on the food menu as well. 10am to 2pm. Make reservations here; walk-ins accepted based on availability.

CASA VEGA

A Bloody Mary cart for you, and Easter egg-dying for the kids - Sherman Oaks

Rather than turn your kitchen into a dye-splattered disaster area, take the kids to Casa Vega, where your server will deliver a complimentary crafts tray of Easter eggs, watercolors, and paint brushes. You’ll be more interested in the Bloody Mary cart, of course, pairing your libation with standbys like chilaquiles and huevos rancheros.  11am to close. Walk-ins accepted; for reservations, call 818.788.4868

CIRCA 55

An extravagant Easter buffet at the Beverly Hilton - Beverly Hills

Yet another solid 90210 Easter option is the grand buffet inside the Beverly Hilton pool-view restaurant. Go to town on a spread packed with paella, a fruit and cheese board, a carving station, sushi selections, salads galore, and a shellfish bar stocked with raw oysters, poached shrimp, Peruvian scallops, and that buffet royalty, king crab legs. 11am to 4pm. Make reservations here.

MAPLE AT DESCANSO GARDENS

Meet the Easter bunny and walk the lush gardens - La Cañada Flintridge

The Patina Group's beauty of a brunch venue at Descanso Gardens is all filled up for its special Easter buffet in the Rose Gardens, but you can still try to snag a table inside where Maple will have its a la carte menu in place with standouts like the peas and carrots French omelet, Nutella toast, and of course, maple pancakes. As a bonus, you’ll find the Easter bunny greeting guests on your way in. 9am to 2pm. Reservations are not available for the Rose Garden brunch, but try calling 818.864.6435 for a seat inside.

MASTRO'S OCEAN CLUB

Benedicts, Bellinis, and killer ocean views - Malibu

If you’re looking for an Instagrammable Easter, this gleaming beachfront restaurant provides about as “Look where I live now, Doug from high school” a backdrop as you’ll find. Expect a seafood-heavy selection of a la carte items like Maine lobster Benedict, smoked salmon, and an Ahi burger, along with boozy brunch cocktails like the peach Bellini or Mastro’s mojito. 10am to 3pm. Make reservations here.

CHEZ MELANGE

Whimsical fare and Mimosa flights - Redondo Beach

The South Bay stalwart is clearly on team Sunday Funday with an array of boozy brunch drinks ranging from the Bloody Oink -- a house bacon-infused vodka -- to a Mimosa flight utilizing mango, pineapple, and pomegranate juices. The a la carte menu touts even more good-time fare, like a trio of avocado toasts, egg sliders, and fried chicken nuggets with brioche French toast. 9:30am to 2pm. Make reservations, here

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THE PROUD BIRD

Westchester

All-you-can-eat specials, plane landings, and crafts for the kids

The aviation-themed food bazaar and special event space that boasts up-close views of the LAX runways will be doing an “unlimited bazaar pass” for $32.95 ($19.95 for children), which includes plenty of screw-it-I’m-eating-what-I-want-today goodness like Bludso’s BBQ, chicken and waffles, pizzas, burgers, an Easter ham, and biscuits and gravy. No need to plan a visit to Disneyland this year, either, as The Proud Bird will be setting up an Easter craft table, hosting an Easter egg hunt in the Outdoor Airplane Park, and planning surprise visits from the big bunny himself all day long. 10am to 5pm. 

DEL FRISCO'S GRILLE

Santa Monica 

A buzzy brunch scene near the pier

If you decide on brunch at this bustling bar and grill, make sure to snag a seat on the popular patio across from the Santa Monica Pier. You’re here to eat light, so order up chicken fried steak and eggs with creamed chorizo gravy or red velvet Belgian waffles and bacon from the regular brunch menu -- or, take advantage of the old-school Easter special (bone-in prime rib served with au jus and creamy horseradish) that Del Frisco’s will be doing all weekend long. 10am to 3pm. Make reservations here.

Original content by Lizbeth Scordo, courtesy of Thrillist. Photos courtesy of Catch, Georgie, Ocean Prime, Casa Vega, and Mastro’s Ocean Club.

[vidupm-blog]

10 SEO Myths Debunked

The SEO landscape is unstable. Frequent search engine algorithm updates make business hard for webmasters to sustain a profitable website. SEO is no magic wand to swish and mint money. It is a subject necessitating in-depth study and analysis, keeping abreast of recent trends and employing “trial and error” methods to realise what works and what does not work for any website.

The instability gives rise to various SEO myths, which marketers and webmasters start to believe as popular hearsay. This article debunks ten such SEO myths.

10 SEO Myths Debunked

These may come across as a surprise. Tighten your seat belts!

SEO Myth 1: Guest Blogging is dead.

Guest blogging is NOT dead. Understand it once and for all. Yes, Matt Cutts said to “stick a fork in it”, but he does not proclaim its death. What Cutts means is that you should stop guest blogging if you were using it to spam blogs with mediocre content with the sole intention to get backlinks.

Take up any popular blog, and you will find that guest contributors form a major chunk of their content generation policy. Are they penalised? No. Are you? Yes. You are pursuing guest contribution the wrong way.

SEO Myth 2: Link Building is dead.

For God’s sakes, link building can never be dead. In this video, Matt says that Google Inc. did an experiment to boot out all links from search engine and found that the results were far worst than it is with links.

Therefore, links are here to stay.

What you should do is follow white-hat link curation practices.

SEO Myth 3: Content is the king.

It is a popular perception among content creators, marketers and webmasters that if a website publishes great content, traffic will start flowing in!

This cannot be farther from the truth. See, content is the king, but marketing is the queen! We all know that it is tough to survive without the queen, isn’t it?

Therefore, it is great that you are investing a lot of time and money into creating useful, informational and actionable share-worthy content but do not ever ignore the marketing part. Who will come to your blog or website if you do not promote it?

None. Nada!

All the content development efforts will go down the drain. Hence, chalk out a plan to target your audience first and then write content.

Is that clear?

SEO Myth 4: Press Releases are Relevant

Just the fact that you have an online business does not make it newsworthy. Write this down and etch it in your memory.

In earlier times when the masses still relied on good old newspapers for their daily news fodder, press releases were a way to ‘announce’ a newsworthy addition to business. Suppose, a business started offering a new product; they would publish a press release.

However, in the last couple of years, online press releases have spoiled its primary purpose. It has become a medium to gain dofollow backlinks than offering anything interesting news.

Use the press release medium sparingly. Unless you have anything newsworthy to share, refrain from it. Lastly, use top press release sites which can actually grab eyeballs to your business rather than the ‘free for all’, average PR aggregators.

This does not serve any SEO purpose.

SEO Myth 5: Article Submissions

This is such an overdone SEO method that it lost its relevancy. Yes, newbie so-called ‘SEO experts’ still push for article submissions on sites like Ezine Articles and imply how a dofollow link from such sites are valuable, it isn’t. Period!

There is no point in submitting to article directories for link building. Google’s web spam head has already said article directories are not given too much importance so what is the point in using them?

Moreover, content published on most article directory sites are of low quality; therefore, the dofollow link ultimately harms than it does any good for your website.

This does not serve any SEO purpose.

SEO Myth 6: Authorship Markup is essential.

In June 2011, Google announced the Authorship Markup metric which ties together the published content with its author through the Google+ profile page.

The update spread like wildfire speculating that Google Inc. will rank content based on this metric. Of course, a comment by Eric Schmidt did its part in fueling the speculation:

Within search results, information tied to verified online profiles will be ranked higher than content without such verification, which will result in most users naturally clicking on the top (verified) results. The true cost of remaining anonymous, then, might be an irrelevance.

However, there is no significant proof to justify this assumption. It’s 2017, and the importance of Google Authorship has reduced; however, it is good to claim Authorship because your image will show up in search results and that kind of lends credibility and influence with the reader.

SEO Myth 7: Infinite Scrolling is Recommended

Adding infinite scrolling on your site is actually a good idea, but it is NOT recommended for all kinds of sites. Take Facebook, for example. They have linear infinite scrolling, and it works with their model because it functions as a kind of storytelling and users are comfortable with it.

On the other hand, take Mashable. They too have infinite scrolling, but it is damn irritating and user intrusive. Adding the scroll on the homepage makes it worse. The purpose of a site homepage is to direct a reader/visitor to other areas of the site. Therefore, just imagine the frustration of a visitor who keeps on scrolling the homepage which leads to a bottomless pit. There is no direction.

The addition of infinite scrolling on the homepage is a bad move regarding practical SEO methods. Use it, if necessary, on inner pages but please, not on the homepage.

SEO Myth 8: Automate Everything!

Adding sliders, video, audio or animation on a site which auto-plays whenever anyone visits are not recommended.

Obviously, you chose to do it thinking it will increase conversions and grab the readers’ interest. However, the results are mostly in opposite order. It annoys the user and most often, the user hits the ‘stop’ button and proceeds further. Some sites do not even add the ‘stop’ button, and then there is no option for the user but to leave the site.

In 2013, the Nielsen Norman Group published a detailed study on auto-forwarding carousels and found that it annoys users and reduces visibility. You can read the findings here.

SEO Myth 9: Sole Dependence on Google is Right

I know this is a bold statement.

All of our SEO methods are always geared towards Google. We want to be compliant towards Google policies and build a business based solely on this search engine. In short, we are putting all the eggs in one basket, and that is a recipe for disaster in itself.

I am not asking you to ditch Google; instead, I am asking you to build your business on other traffic sources as well such as other search engines (Bing, DuckDuckGo and others), social media channels and other business networking methods. In retrospect, even if Google loses its love for your website, you have other options to fall back on!

SEO Myth 10: Social Links help.

There is no strong data to prove that social links help with site SEO and ranking. Surely, social shares help to improve brand visibility, but there is no conclusive data to show if they will help to rank your site higher.

The main reason is that Google Inc. does not have any access to Twitter and Facebook data. Google and Facebook do not see eye-to-eye and once upon a time, Google did have access to Twitter data but not anymore. Both the social sites have walled Google.

This does not mean you should stop using them. There are more important things than links!

Takeaway

I know at least one of these myths must have come as a surprise to you. SEO is a tricky business. Whether you hire an agency or DIY yourself, there is a steep learning curve. You need to really get involved in the niche to make the best of SEO.