#guess you can only wear those small shirts for now oh nooooo

[madame-mongoose]

feliz navidad

screaming into my hands

[mortimer-writes-sometimes]

Idk if this is a good prompt but im always a sucker for clothes swap fluff so 👉👈 smth with grillby wearing sans’ jacket maybe?

This is so freaking cute. I might have to write like, three alternate versions of this.

Once again, I think I strayed a bit from expectation writing this one. Also, it’s entirely off-season. And I think I got a bit sloppy at the end, so I apologize for that. If you can’t tell, I don’t think very highly of my own writing. In any case, here’s the one-shot that nearly turned into multiple chapters!

Grillby Looks Good In Blue

Word count: 4961 Summary: When it’s revealed that Grillby doesn’t have a Halloween costume, Frisk comes up with a great idea.

Grillby had never been particularly festive. Even after opening his new bar on the surface, the ‘holiday spirit’ people talked about continued to elude him. The older members of his family didn’t celebrate many holidays, and what celebrations they did have were never more than another family gathering. He enjoyed them, of course. Any opportunity to see his brothers and niece was a welcome one! But he’d never decorated his bar or hosted any sort of seasonally themed party. So, when he learned about the human holiday of ‘Halloween’, he didn’t plan to come up with a costume.

(He planned to close early and hand out candy, of course. He had a soft spot for children.)

The night before Halloween, Grillby’s bar was lively with excited monsters and humans alike. The anticipation for the big night was palpable as people chattered among themselves, talking about their costumes, the best places to get candy, and parties that were going to be held. The sun had only just started to set when the bell above the door rang, a familiar family of monsters entering with a single human child.

“Welcome back,” Grillby greeted with a small smile. The whole gang was there- Toriel, Frisk, Alphys, Undyne, Papyrus, Sans… even Asgore was there. Sans and Frisk made a beeline for the bar while the rest of the group discussed seating arrangements. Grillby started pouring a glass of apple juice for Frisk automatically, placing it in front of them as the child struggled up onto a barstool. “It’s good to see you all again. What’s the occasion?”

Sans shrugged and hopped up into his usual seat. “Well, we’re gonna have a little All Hallows Eve Eve party while we put the finishing touches on everyone’s costumes. Thought that since we’re all here, it’d be nice to go out to eat together. It was mostly Frisk’s idea.”

Grillby chuckled. “Well, I think it was an excellent idea. Now, what can I get the two of you started with?”

The night wore on with plenty of food, drinks, and laughter as everyone caught up with each other. Frisk and Sans went back to sit with the others during dinner, but when it was time for dessert, Frisk was right back up at the bar to talk with Grillby. They were excited to tell him about their costume. “Guess what I’m going as for Halloween!” they demanded, bouncing on their stool.

Grillby set a piece of cake in front of Frisk as he carefully monitored the stool’s stability. “I don’t know, what?”

“Nooooo,” Frisk whined, “That’s not how it works! You have to guess!”

“Alright, alright.” He pretended to think for a moment, tapping his chin. “You’re going to be… adorable,” he teased, ruffling their hair.

Frisk laughed, pushing his hand away. “No, I’m not! I’m going to be scary!”

Grillby shook his head. “Forgive me for being unable to imagine that. What scary thing are you going as, then?”

Frisk was unable to contain their excitement any longer, jumping up on the stool. “I’m going to be a zombie!” they yelled. As they did, the stool teetered beneath them.

Ding! You’re blue now!

Grillby had reached out and grabbed Frisk by the shoulders at the same time Sans turned them blue and levitated them, the unbalanced stool the child was sitting on hitting the floor. Sans walked up to the bar and righted the stool, chuckling as he found a seat of his own. “Careful, kid. Don’t want you partying too hard now.”

Frisk gave both of them a sheepish grin as they were set back on their stool, looking up at Grillby. “Sorry. Anyway, as I was saying, I’m going to be a zombie for Halloween. It was Sans’s idea!” They shoveled a big bite of chocolate cake in their mouth as they looked at the skeleton.

“Yeah,” Sans said with a shrug. “I mean, a supernatural being that keeps coming back to life no matter how many times you’ve killed it? It seems appropriate.”

Grillby wasn’t sure what Sans meant by that, but at that point, he was used to it enough to not bother asking. He turned to Frisk and poured them a glass of milk to go with their dessert. “Well, make sure Sans sends me a picture. I’m sure it will look great.”

Frisk nodded eagerly, taking the glass of milk and drinking half of it in one go. Grillby offered them a napkin before they could wipe their mouth on their sleeve. Frisk took it, scrubbing at their face and smiling up at him. “So,” they asked, “What’s your Halloween costume gonna be?”

“Oh, I’m not really doing anything for Halloween,” Grillby responded as he moved to wipe some crumbs from his bar. “I will be handing out candy, though, if you’d like to stop by.”

“You don’t have a costume?!” Apparently, in Frisk’s mind, this was a horrible tragedy. “But everyone put a costume together! Even Sans made one!”

Papyrus, overhearing this, looked up from where he’d been enjoying a plate of pasta with chocolate sauce. “Wait, Sans, you actually made a costume?! I thought you said you were just going to buy one!”

Sans shrugged. “Yeah, well, everyone else was making their own. Besides, the costume I came up with is a piece of art. You can’t get that at a store.”

Frisk didn’t look impressed. “Sans, your costume is literally a shirt with the word ‘life’ written on it and a bowl of lemon drops.”

“Well, I didn’t really have much to work with. You know what they say- when life gives you lemons…”

Papyrus groaned. “SANS THAT DOESN’T COUNT AS A COSTUME AT ALL!”

Grillby chuckled from behind the bar, fond. “I think it sounds very you, Sans.”

Sans grinned up at him. “Heh, at least someone appreciates my talents. Anyway, Grillbz, the kid is right. It’s our first Halloween on the surface. You gotta do something more than just hand out candy.”

Apparently, everyone was listening at that point, because that was when Alphys stood up. “O-Oh! If, um, if you still n-need a costume, I, uh… w-well I have some material l-leftover from making mine and Undyne’s! I’m sure we can- um- c-come up with some ideas, haha…”

“That sounds like a great idea,” Toriel chimed in. “You should join us for our costume-making party tonight, Grillby. Then you can accompany Frisk with us for trick-or-treating.”

Grillby adjusted his glasses, a bit flustered by all the sudden attention. “I-i wouldn’t want to intrude…”

Undyne laughed, getting up. “Too late, fire dude! If Frisk says you need a costume, then that’s that. Now let’s close this joint and get going already!”

As Undyne and Papyrus began rounding people up and making them go home so Grillby could close the bar, the fire monster chuckled to himself. Maybe, just this once, he could have a little more fun with a holiday.

It felt odd, being in Toriel’s house. Grillby considered the others his friends, but he’d never actually hung out with any of them outside the bar before. Everyone was gathered in the living room, where multiple old bedsheets had been spread on the floor and furniture. The group spread out around the living room as they helped each put finishing touches on their designs with hot glue and paint. “The bedsheets are a clever idea,” Grillby commented lightly as he took a cup of tea from Toriel (he didn’t have the heart to tell her that he usually didn’t drink tea. It was basically just hot flavored water).

The motherly monster smiled, sitting in an armchair and watching the scene in front of her with a fond look in her eye. “Dr. Alphys suggested it. She’s very good at arts and crafts!”

“Speaking of arts and crafts,” Sans interjected from his spot on the couch, “It’s time to figure out what Grillby’s costume is going to be.”

Alphys had a lot of ideas. “Oh! Y-you could go as a gender-bent v-version of Sailor Mars! Or maybe, um, if you c-can burn blue for- for the evening you could go a-a-as Rin Okumura from Blue Exorcist! Oh, I b-bet you could m-make a great Kyoya! Uh, from O-ouran Highschool Host Club?”

...Grillby didn’t understand what she said, but was flattered anyway. Kind of.

Sans decided to step in and rescue Grillby before Alphys put him in cat ears. “While those are all good ideas,” he said thoughtfully, “Maybe we should think of something that we can, y’know, throw together overnight? Plus I’m pretty sure all those characters wear like fancy clothes and stuff. That’s what Grillby wears already. Hardly counts as a costume.”

Papyrus stood up specifically so he could put his hands on his hips. “Well the whole point of a costume is to dress up for the evening! What is Grillby supposed to do? Dress down?”

That gave Frisk an idea. They got up, walking over to Grillby and pulling on his arms to make him stand up. “Come here for a second!” Then, they went and grabbed Sans, pulling him to stand next to Grillby. Frisk took a couple of steps back, rubbing their chin in thought as they inspected the two side-by-side. Apparently, they liked what they saw, because they smiled. “Hey Sans, do you mind if I change your costume a bit?”

“Uhhh, what are we talking about when we say ‘a bit’?” Sans asked, unsure of where Frisk was going with this.

Alphys seemed to catch on, because anyone who has read lots and lots of fanfiction can guess where this is going. “Ohhhh, that’s g-genius, Frisk! But, u-um, Grillby’s a lot taller than Sans.”

Frisk’s smile only widened, the plan coming together in their mind. “Sans’s jacket is big enough! And I’m sure we can find him a white T-shirt that’s big enough!”

The skeleton waved a hand at them, interrupting. “Sans’s jacket is big enough for what?”

Frisk and Alphys shared a mischievous look. Sans looked up at Grillby (who was still confused and clueless) and came to a terrible realization.

He was going to have to tie his shoes for once.

 “Do I really have to keep the shirt tucked in?”

“Yes! Grillby always has his shirt tucked in!”

“A-and don’t- don’t slouch. You have to, um, g-get into character!”

“When did this go from a Halloween costume to full-on cosplay?”

Sans tugged at his suspenders as he inspected the completed outfit. Somehow, Frisk and Alphys had managed to find a white button-up, dress pants, and dress shoes to fit Sans. Grillby’s suspenders could be adjusted down to fit Sans, and bowties tended to be one-size-fits-all, so Sans got to wear the real deal in those departments. Finally, Toriel had taken the lenses out of an old pair of reading glasses she didn’t use and set the frames on Sans’s skull (Frisk taped the sides since Sans didn’t have ears).

The skeleton couldn’t help chuckling. “Man, no wonder Grillby is pretty fit. Getting dressed in this stuff is a whole workout.” It didn’t look bad, though. He glanced upstairs, where Papyrus and Toriel had whisked Grillby away for his ‘transformation’. Sans had already managed to get fully dressed, and his usual outfit was way simpler than Grillby’s. What was taking so long?

The others seemingly had the same thought. Undyne crossed her arms, walking to the base of the stairs. “HEY PAPYRUS! WHAT’S THE HOLD UP?!” she yelled through the house.

Papyrus cracked the door to Toriel’s room open for a moment. “JUST BE PATIENT, UNDYNE!”

Toriel pushed the door the rest of the way open, sighing. “Please, both of you, no shouting in the house. We… had a minor issue with finding a T-shirt, is all. Grillby is changing in my bathroom, he’ll be down in a moment.”

Just then, Papyrus spotted Sans, eyesockets widening. “OH MY GOD! Sans, you actually have style for once!”

“Heh, thanks, I guess…” Sans felt nervous, for some reason. What if Grillby thought he looked dumb? What if Grillby got really uncomfortable with this idea? What if he got mad? Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to force him to-

The door to Toriel’s room opened again, a warm light filling the hall. If Sans could have blushed, he would have.

Sans’s shorts were wide enough around the waist to fit Grillby, although they didn’t quite go down to his knees. The old white shirt Toriel had found him was a bit more form-fitting than the ones Sans usually wore, clinging near his waist and the center of his chest. Amusingly, Sans’s slippers were a bit too big on the fire monster, if the way he had to shuffle in them to get them to stay on was any indication. What got Sans, though, was the jacket.

Sans’s hoodie fit Grillby perfectly. 

Grillby had shot Papyrus a questioning look when he was handed Sans’s jacket, still unsure about the whole thing. “Will this even fit me?” he asked skeptically. “I’m quite a bit taller than Sans.”

“Well, it’s very big on Sans,” Toriel pointed out. “Just try it on. I’m sure we can go find a cheap blue hoodie in the morning to complete the look if that doesn’t fit.”

Papyrus nodded. “Or if it smells too much like ketchup for you to bear!”

The bartender still wasn’t sure, but it couldn’t hurt to just try it on, right? Blushing a bit under the attention the other two were giving him, he shrugged on the blue jacket. Papyrus was right, it did smell a little like ketchup. But…

As the weight of the fabric settled around his shoulders, something in Grillby relaxed. The fabric that lined the inside of Sans’s jacket was surprisingly soft, and the sleeves were just long enough that if Grillby wanted to, he could pull them over his hands. The fire monster’s face grew hotter, a bright blush spreading across his cheeks. He was wearing Sans’s clothes. He was wearing Sans’s jacket. He wrapped his arms around himself without thinking, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. When he opened them again, he found that Toriel and Papyrus were both staring at him. He shifted a bit, fiddling with the hoodie strings. “...wh-what? Is something wrong?”

After a long moment, Toriel smiled, raising a hand to her mouth in an attempt to hold back laughter. Papyrus tilted his head, entirely bemused. “Grillby, why did you turn blue? Is it that overwhelming? I told Sans he needed to wash that old thing more often!”

Toriel lost her composure, laughing softly. “That’s not what it means when a fire monster turns blue, Papyrus.”

“W-wait, I’m what-?!” Grillby ran back into Toriel’s bathroom. Sure enough, the blush on his cheeks had turned a vibrant blue, along with some of the flames that made up his hair. “Oh. Oh no.”

“‘Oh no’ what?! I don’t understand! Ms. Toriel, why are you laughing?!” Papyrus frowned, unhappy at being left out of the loop. 

Toriel was all too happy to clarify. “Fire monsters blush differently than other monsters. The flames that make up their faces change temperature depending on the emotion. When they’re embarrassed, they may turn red. When flustered, a brighter orange. The most dazzling display, though, is when a fire monster is-”

“You can’t tell Sans!” Grillby suddenly cried out, nearly shouting it. He went back into the bedroom, willing himself to calm down. “Fuck, I can’t let him see me like this…!”

Toriel decided to let the language slide, focusing on calming Grillby down. “It’s alright,” she said soothingly, “We won’t tell him. You should tell him yourself.”

Grillby shook his head. “No, no no no no no. Sans can’t know about this. It’s entirely inappropriate, and it would ruin everything we already have-”

Toriel held up a hand to stop him. She tilted her head a bit, concerned. “Now why would it be inappropriate? You’re adults. If you both consent to a relationship, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Don’t phrase it like that,” Grillby groaned. “It’s- I’m a fire elemental and he’s a skeleton. We’re not going to be compatible.”

Toriel frowned at that. “Now that’s an outdated mindset and you know it,” she huffed. “You like him, don’t you? I’m sure even if he didn’t like you that way, you could still be friends after telling him.”

“Like him in what way?!?!” The Great Papyrus interrupted, starting to get irritated that the author seemed to keep forgetting he was there.

Toriel looked at Papyrus, then sighed, smiling a bit as she looked back at Grillby. Grillby groaned again, hanging his head in defeat. “Fire monsters turn blue,” he mumbled, “When they’re in love.”

Papyrus took a moment to process that. Grillby was in love… he’d turned blue when he put Sans’s jacket on… Oh! The pieces clicked in his skull. “HOLY FU-”

“LANGUAGE!”

Grillby took a deep breath as he walked down the stairs, trying to stay calm and, more importantly, stay cold. Sans would probably say I just need to ‘chill out’. Or be ‘cool’, Grillby thought to himself, his awkward smile becoming a bit more genuine in amusement. He stepped into the living room, holding his arms out in a sort of ‘Ta-da!’ motion. Frisk started clapping while Alphys took pictures, both of them far more excited about the outfit change than they should have been.

“Well if it isn’t the ‘hottest’ new fashion trend, Grillby casual.”

Sans caught Grillby’s attention, the fire monster turning to look at him. “Ha, funny, Sans,” is what he said on the outside. On the inside, he was screaming. Stay chill stay chill stay chill stay chill god damn it now that terrible joke is stuck in my head holy shit just stay chill! 

“Y-you look nice,” Grillby managed to stammer out. “I never thought I’d see you wear a tie that wasn’t printed on the shirt.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Sans replied with a wink. “So I guess it’s decided then? We’re going as each other for Halloween?”

Grillby nodded, barely trusting himself to speak. “I suppose so…”

Frisk jumped up on the couch. “WHICH MEANS YOU HAVE TO GO TRICK OR TREATING WITH US!!”

The next several minutes were filled with Toriel lecturing Frisk about jumping on furniture and yelling in the house.

The next day, the whole group met at Grillby’s to get ready, taking advantage of the fact that the restaurant had a total of four bathroom stalls. Grillby volunteered to put his costume on last, soul thrumming with anxiety. He was sure that the evening was going to be the hardest evening of his life (oh, the things he put himself through for Frisk’s sake).

Grillby was far from unaware of his feelings for Sans. He’d had a bit of a crush for a long time, and in the time since they’d been released from the Underground, that affection had only grown. There was just something about the skeleton that made him want to sit and talk with him forever. It would never work out, though. Relationships were complicated, and Grillby didn’t want to mess up what he already had. If he made a move and it didn’t work out, it would be hard to go back to just being friends. Needless to say, Sans’s new ability to turn Grillby’s flames blue without even being in the room was a huge problem.

“Hey fire dude, your turn!” Undyne pulled Grillby from his thoughts, thrusting the bartender’s costume into his arms. “Hurry up and get changed! It’s almost time to get going!”

Grillby nodded, a bit overwhelmed all of a sudden. “R-right. I’ll be back in a moment.”

He took his time getting dressed, carefully monitoring his temperature. For the most part, he was fine. He could forget that he was dressed as his favorite skeleton, even be amused by it. There was no problem at all… until he got to the jacket.

Slipping on Sans’s hoodie, Grillby felt his temperature immediately rise. He was never cold, but he could still appreciate that the jacket was comfortably warm. Between the smell and the weight, if he closed his eyes he could almost imagine Sans had his arms around him. 

Oh god, there was no way he was going to make it through this night.

Cautiously stepping out of the bathroom stall, Grillby looked in the mirror and confirmed what he already suspected. That bright blue tint had returned to his face. He took a deep breath, willing it away, but some of the flames that formed his hair and cheeks wouldn’t cool off. The traitorous streaks of heat flickered and Grillby felt like he was being mocked. 

The door to the bathroom suddenly opened and Grillby panicked, pulling up the hood of the and ducking his head to hide his face. Glancing to the side, he wanted to scream. Of course, it was Sans.

Sans looked worried, dress shoes clicking on the tile floor as he walked over. “You okay, Grillbz? You’ve been in here for a while. I was starting to get worried.”

“I-i’m fine,” Grillby stammered, turning to look at the wall, the counter, anywhere but at Sans. “I’m just nervous. It’s the first time I’ve participated in something like this.”

Sans chuckled, a gentle sound that soothed some of Grillby’s nerves. “C’mon, you can’t mess up Halloween. Just ‘chill’ out and enjoy yourself.”

Sans was right. There wasn’t any reason to be this worked up. So long as he focused on the festivities, Grillby didn’t run any risk of being flustered again. “Alright. I’ll be out in a moment.” He straightened up, looking in the mirror again and sighing in relief. For now, the blush was gone.

Later that evening, the Halloween festivities were in full swing. Monster and human children alike were wandering up and down the streets with their parents, laughing and playing as their buckets and bags slowly filled with sweets. Frisk insisted on dragging as many people as they could up to each door with them, insisting that, “Larger groups of people get more candy!” 

Of course, being a pretty big group of monsters, they couldn’t all fit on a doorstep at once. Instead, they all took turns. Two people would go with Frisk at a time, and the rest of them would just wave from the street.

Sans put his hands in his pockets as he watched Grillby and Asgore walk Frisk to the door of the next house, chuckling a bit as the former king stopped to admire the flowerbeds. His gaze drifted to Grillby. He’d been worried that the bartender would feel a little out of place, but he seemed to be enjoying himself, holding Frisk’s hand as the child cheered, “Trick or treat!”

The couple at the door stopped to ask about their costumes like any other house, putting a few pieces of candy in Frisk’s bag. Sans couldn’t hear what was said, but when Grillby explained his costume, whatever the couple said made him laugh. Sans smiled to himself, fond. 

Undyne elbowed Sans, arching an eyebrow at him. “Dude, you’re staring again.”

Sans rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Yeah, well, he’s being really cute. Besides, anyone could appreciate a guy that hot.”

Undyne groaned. “Okay, but being serious, why don’t you just talk to him already? The guy obviously has a thing for you. Nobody would let you rack up a tab like yours if they didn’t want to cook for you all the time.”

“I know,” Sans admitted, “But he can be kinda shy. I don’t wanna scare him off by making the first move.”

She just rolled her eyes. “If he’s shy, he’s never gonna confess to you. Just go for it, man!”

Sans looked back at Grillby. In the time they’d been talking, the fire monster had picked Frisk up and put them on his shoulders, smiling as Frisk declared which house they should go to next. He was so good with the kid. He let Frisk hang out at the bar after school all the time, and he’d even helped them with their homework once or twice. The bartender was one of the sweetest guys Sans had ever met. How could the skeleton not like him? And Sans had to admit, he was getting a little impatient. “You know what? Fine,” he said, looking back at Undyne. “I’m gonna tell him.”

Undyne looked genuinely surprised. “Really?”

“Yup.”

“Tonight?”

“Right now.”

“Oh my god.” Undyne whipped out her phone, pulling up her camera. “Fucking finally. You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this. Alphys! Alphys, it’s finally happening, come help me film this!”

Sans laughed, pulling his hands out of his pockets to fidget with his suspenders. “Thanks for the enthusiasm, but this is something I kinda want to do alone? Grillby’s a private guy. You’ll make him nervous.”

Undyne groaned. “Fine, but you better tell me how it goes!”

Sans gave her a thumbs-up. “Sure thing, captain.”

“I mean it!” she emphasized, jabbing a finger at his chest. “I want every detail.”

Sans chuckled. “I’ll make sure to ‘burn’ the moment in my memory. Now get out of here, they’re coming back.”

Grillby and Asgore rejoined the group, Grillby handing Frisk off to Toriel. “I believe it’s your turn, You Majesty.”

Toriel smiled a bit. “Now what have I told you about that? It’s just Toriel now.” She turned to the others. “Sans? Would you like to come as well?”

“I’ll c-come!” Alphys quickly interjected. “We sh-should all go! Except Sans and Grillby! G-Grillby just went, and, u-um… Sans, well…”

“I’m too lazy to go all the way up to the door,” Sans finished for her. “I’ll hang back here with Grillby. You all go on ahead.”

Toriel tilted her head, trying to figure out what Sans was planning before understanding hit her. She smiled a bit and nodded. “Alright, you two. Don’t fall too far behind.”

“This won’t take very long,” Sans assured her, waving them off. Frisk lead the way, and pretty soon it was just Sans and Grillby, walking side by side in the cool autumn evening.

Grillby adjusted his glasses, glancing curiously at Sans. “...alright. What is this all about? I can tell you’re plotting something.”

Sans chuckled. “Yeah, you’ve always been able to read me pretty well.” And somehow the bartender was still totally oblivious. “I just wanted to talk with you for a minute. Just you and me.” He stopped walking, looking Grillby up and down. “...y’know, you don’t look half bad in my jacket.”

Oh god. The fear of blushing and tipping Sans off returned at full force, Grillby swallowing hard. “Th-thank you? Um, I think you look nice, too. Dressed up, I mean.”

“Eh, you pull it off better.” Sans shrugged. “You know, you’ve been kinda quiet this evening. You doing okay?”

“I’m fine,” Grillby answered too quickly. He’d honestly been avoiding talking to Sans too much. Sans was far too good at flustering him and making him laugh. “Why do you ask?”

Sans huffed, fond as he tilted his head. “Well, I’ve been thinking. Hanging out with everybody is great and all, but I’d kinda like to spend more time with just you, y’know?” He rubbed the back of his neck, a little nervous. He didn’t want to make Grillby uncomfortable by being too direct, but he couldn’t be too subtle. Otherwise, it would go over the fire monster’s head. He took a deep breath and braced himself. “I was wondering if maybe you’d like to go get breakfast or something sometime?”

Grillby nearly choked. What was Sans trying to say? Surely he wasn’t asking what Grillby wanted him to thought he might be asking. He felt his temperature rise without his permission and reflectively pulled up the hood of the jacket, covering his face with his sleeves. If anything, remembering that he was hiding in Sans’s jacket just made it worse. He tried to say something, but to his dismay, all he could get out was a flustered squeak.

That was about the reaction Sans was expecting. “Grillby? You okay?” Sans asked gently. He stepped closer, trying to move into the bartender’s field of vision.

“F-f-fine…!” Grillby managed. He was dead. He was going to die. This was a disaster.

“Heh, sure,” Sans mumbled, giving him a small smile. “Alright, if you’re gonna be shy about it, let’s try this a different way.” The skeleton reached up and gently took Grillby’s hands in his own, pulling them away. Grillby’s face was burning with beautiful shades of red, orange, and blue, all mixing together. Sans chuckled a bit, putting his hands on the bartender’s shoulders and making him lean over. “Come here, you dork.” He stood up on his toes, pulling the fire monster’s hood down as he did.

The light show when Sans kissed him was spectacular.

Papyrus, who had been watching the whole time, jumped out of the bushes. “OH MY GOD, SANS!” He was shortly followed by Undyne, Alphys, and Frisk, who were all rewatching the scene from Frisk’s phone.

“That was s-so cute!” Alphys gushed. “You’re so adorable t-together! I think it’s my new OTP.”

Grillby groaned, covering his face with one hand as Sans laughed. “I hate all of you.” He stopped as a hand slipped into his own, looking down at Sans.

Sans smiled up at him, still chuckling a bit. His gaze softened a bit as he ran his thumb over Grillby’s knuckles. “So,” he said quietly, “What do you say, firefly? Coffee this Saturday.”

Grillby smiled, finally letting himself blush without panicking. He laced their fingers together and gave the skeleton a gentle nod. “That sounds lovely.”

Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it! If you did, consider leaving me a comment to tell me your favorite part. If you want to send me a prompt, my asks are open!

[salty-fang]

Twisted Fate Sugar Edition

Part three (sorry for the long wait) thanks for being patient @loveswifi

Marinette had had a weird day. She had kept being pulled in the direction of people who could’ve been mistaken for male versions of herself. Jason, Tim and Dick.

She had met Jason first. She had taken a quick detour from her hour-long trip to the fabric store. It had been a week after her outing with Gina, Alfred and Bruce Wayne but a week before the whole Lila debacle. She hadn’t expected Lila to even be in Gotham so Marinette didn’t feel the need to worry. She should have.

----------------------------------------------------

Jason had loads of knowledge on malicious stalking. Growing up as a vigilante taught him some things. So, he was truly stunned when he saw two shady people watched that pregnant woman with wolfish glares that he actually felt the need to follow them. He dragged her out of there line of sight, which without an explanation was pretty stupid. She’d kicked him in the balls causing him to hiss.

“Let go of me.”

“I’m trying to help you. A woman and a man have been watching you for a fucking long time. I just wanted to make sure you knew them. By the way, I’m Jason Todd.”

“Marinette.”

“One of them literally has sausages for hair. I think I’m going to have nightmares for a while.”

“Ugh, you should meet Lila Rossi.”

“Agreste's new wife?”

“Yup. Her eyes are so cold and dead. And she wears so much orange. It’s so painful when you actually look at her that I’d rather stick pins in my eyes.”

“Yo, this chick is the same. You sure we aren’t talking about the same person?” she snuck a quick look around the corner, laughing at the confusion on both Lila and Kim’s faces. She’d laughed too loud as Lila’s head whipped in her direction.

“That’s definitely her. Still as annoying as ever.” Kim had whispered something in Lila's ear just as she rounded the corner. They had started sprinting towards her and were going to catch her if she didn’t move her ass.

‘I can’t run far in heels. I’m going to have to catch a bus. The doctor did tell me to take it easy. Can’t affect those triplets with too much movement.’

She had only made it outside the door when she felt herself be hoisted onto sturdy shoulders.

“Let go of me! Oh it’s you Jay. Give a girl some warning will ya!” she said sighing in exasperation.

“Sorry but you really thought I was going to watch them hurt my little sis.”

“Hey! I’m not little. And put me down. “

“That’s what your focused on? And I won’t put you down. You may think you don’t need help but you’re wrong. So let your good big bro do his job.

“Good my ass,” she muttered, ducking under a signpost. “More like arrogant goofball.” Kim and Lila had either disappeared or they just blended in with the crowd very well. They’d probably lost them. Thank God for that.

“Jay, you can put me down now.”

“Huh, are they gone?”

“Yup.” She said popping the ‘p'. “Thank you Jay. For everything.”

“No worries, pixie pop. You’re my sis. I’d kill a bitch for you.” Marinette had fallen in line with Jason. But with his long strides and her pregnancy she was always steps behind him. Sure he’d fall back to match her pace but Lila had waited until the perfect moment to capitalise. She’d tried to scream for help but she had lost the ability to. They dragged her round the corner to one of her favourite cafés. Her head ached where Lila had pulled tightly on her braid (think Lady Noire) as she felt several strands of her hair fall out. Had no one found her being dragged around slightly disturbing?

She supposed no one cared about business that didn’t affect them in Gotham. Wow. Great, just great. She’d submitted herself fully when another blue-eyed black-haired man had come to her rescue. Seriously, was everyone in Gotham like Jay Jay or had he just been a manifestation of her sleep deprivation. He’d seemed so real, so human but it wouldn’t be the first time her mind would make something so absurd up. It was probably her loneliness acting up again. There was no way any sane person would stay around her for so long.

---------------------------------------------------

Surprisingly it had been Tim who saved her, though she hadn’t known that. Unsurprisingly, Jay and him had two distinctly different personalities. He lived off coffee, looked twice his age with those bags but had such wit about him that he could manipulate the situation without the other party realising. He had been surrounded by so many coffee cups that she had thought he had been in his final year preparing for exams or perhaps working night shifts every day of the week. But nooooo, he was the co-CEO of a business. Starting at the age of 17. Marinette had felt some of the burden dropped on her and she wasn’t even in his position. No wonder he looked like he needed a pick me up. It was just as well that she’d come equipped with her special coffee. She’d make more for Gina later, he needed it more. Plus, Gigi wouldn’t be back in hours.

“I know you said it was alright to sit with you uhh...”

“Tim.”

“Right, Tim. I don’t want to bother you anymore but that coffee looks like it doesn’t do shit for you. I made some for my grandma but she won’t be back for ages so maybe... you would like it?” Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Of course he won’t want some he probably thinks you’re a weirdo who poisoned his drink. Maybe you can take it back from him? “ on second thought-"

“Sure. Why not?” Ok Tim needs sleep. My God, I could have spiked his drink and he accepted it. He’s so vulnerable like this.

“If I give you my drink it will probably take a minute to kick in but... but you have to promise me that you’ll drink my power down later. If you don’t I’ll find you and I’ll get you to sleep one way or another. Don’t test me.” He gulped, eyes wide as he frantically nodded. “Good. Now would you like some pastries to go with your Marinette’s Super Special?” Her shift in character made him freeze. He couldn’t find his voice quick enough and instead opted for a simple thumbs up. She dug two flasks out of her bag, placing one in front of him and sniffed her own. Then, she brought two plates out, setting out croissants so buttery they made him drool, raspberry macaroons and a dozen mini chocolate chip muffins.

“You look like you needed a sugar rush so I guessed what you might like. Sorry if they’re not your favourites. Now chop chop eat up child!” Tim took a tentative sip of his drink feeling it slip down his throat. It had been just how he liked it yet slightly stronger. And then he felt the kick. It had been so small that his brain glossed over it but it’d been there. He was starting to feel more human again. And it had shown. His face had become less pallid and gaunt, his eyes held a fire that had been previously extinguished and his movements became less robotic, almost lighter. Before Marinette could utter ‘I told you so' everything had vanished. Tim was never usually a messy eater but he definitely was right now. Chocolate was smeared all over his chin , flakes from the croissant had littered around his suit and coffee had spilt on his white polo shirt.

“Beanie,” he muttered, a wild look in his egyptian blue eyes. “Please tell me you’re real. Or I at least died and went to heaven. You’re too sweet not to be in my life. I don’t know how I lived without you before. Please, I need you as my dealer. Your coffee is the only one I’ll ever drink again. Please.”

----------------------------------------------------

It wasn’t every day you saw Tim Drake beg on his knees and whine. But when you did, you would probably laugh your ass off. Whoever that poor girl was had just attracted the attention of invasive photographers. Unlucky, but at least they would get a show out of it.

“If I give you my coffee you’re not going to sleep. You’re going to be a living zombie and I can’t live with that. I’d rather not have anyone connecting me with your death from excessive tiredness.” Tim knew he had to play dirty if he was going to win. Thankfully, Steph had taught him how to master the art of puppy dog eyes which he aimed at Marinette. He then wrapped his arms around her leg, consequently being dragged along the unsanitary sidewalk to where both their belongings were.

“Please please please please PLEASE.” He noticed Marinette’s will become fragile. He wobbled his bottom lip, sniffling softly. “I’ll stop begging if you say yes. Please beanie.”

“Fine.” She huffed whilst he fist pumped the air. “But we do things on my terms alright?”

“Yes ma’am!”

“Jeez. You’ve given me a headache.” She stated aiming a half-hearted glare at a sheepish Tim. “That’s an achievement, dude, not even Chloé could do that and her tantrums were super bratty.”

He had gone to apologise when shrill ringing rang in the air.

“Sorry,” he mouthed. “ I have to take this.”

“Jason what do you want? You just interrupted my deal with my dealer.”

“ I didn’t know you had it in you. But now isn’t the time. I need you to check security where you are. Pixie pop's gone missing.”

“Pixie pop?”

“I’ll explain later but right now she’s in danger. See you in 5 replacement.” With nothing left to say the line went dead and he decided to run some checks on Jason’s location whilst idly chatting with Marinette. She had asked for his unique insight on her latest design.

“What shade would you use on this? I’m only asking because of your peculiar style.”

“Definitely lavender but towards the bottom fade into a dark purple. And peculiar?”

“Who wears a suit on a hot summers day?” she asked eyebrow raised.

“Me. Batman. Business owners. Cosplayers. Bruce Wayne. The list could go on but I don’t have all day.” He said throwing an exaggerated wink at her.

“None of those people you mentioned are normal except maybe cosplayers so it doesn’t count. Better luck next time. I’m going to go pee.” Tim had opened his mouth to respond when he spotted Jason. He looked terrible. His hair was matted against his forehead with sweat, his eyes were bloodshot.

“I came as soon as I could. What did you find replacement? Spit it out. I don’t have all fucking day.”

“First, I want you to meet me dealer and then we can talk about what happened to ‘pixie' and who they even are.”

“Tim, as much as I’d love to meet your drug buddy, it’ll have to wait. She’s more important. I’m worried that the people who took her are going to seriously harm her.”

“Fine but you’re missing out on meeting the sweetest girl ever.”

“I’ll pass.” Jason snarled before turning back to the pixelated security feed. “That was where I last saw her. That’s weird. It’s like she disappeared from all footage. Do you have any other leads?”

“Jay-Jay?” Marinette barrelled into him locking him in a hug. “How do you know tater-tot?”

“Hey!”

“Sorry little lady but I’m looking for someone. Holy shit, is that you pixie pop?”

“Yup and who you calling little lady? I’m fun sized and could totally whoop your ass if I wasn’t pregnant. Just remember that Jason.” The way she had said his name sent shivers up his spine. She had delivered her sentence as a fact, not a threat.

“That’s why you’re my favourite, pixie pop.” Jason said, tearing up.

“Replacement, how did you even save Marinette?”

“They probably took a look at his half dead state and got scared off.” After an hour of re-introduction, they finally left. Jason drove her back on his motorcycle and dumped Tim’s limp body (from drinking Marinette’s calming chai tea) on his back.

With many hours to kill before Gina would be back from her night shift, she got changed into her gym clothes- a pink shirt with short sleeves and grey shorts- and headed to her local sports centre. Surprisingly, it was Dick who saved her this time

Marinette had been doing light exercise to keep in shape every day since she arrived in Gotham. She had a daily routine of squats, sit ups and weights, moving at her own pace. She had only attended the gym once before this and everyone had been friendly or had just gone about their days. Today was the first day anyone had actually approached her

“Hey sunshine, is it alright if I call you sunshine?” She nodded. “There’s a creepy guy watching you. He hasn’t actually done any workouts but he’s pointing his phone at you for a hell of a long time.”

“Thank you for telling me...”

“Richard but you can call me Dick.” She snickered. “If you want to that is.” Dick walked away to take a quick call from his brother when...

WARNING: YOU MIGHT NOT BE COMFORTABLE READING THIS PART. TW: sexual harassment. I'll put a brief summary at the bottom if you would rather skip

When she felt a firm hand squeeze her ass. She felt it trail down her shorts before she could even look at their face. She leapt away from his grasp, her breathing heavy as she looked around for any support. Unfortunately, the gym was empty, giving the predator an easy advantage.

“Hey baby did anyone tell you you’re damn sexy when you smile? Cuz you definitely are.” he aimed a snide smile at her. His yellow teeth glinted and his heady scent made her sick. “Princess, come back to mine tonight. We could have so much fun together and I’ll make you scream until you forget your own name. So, how about it?” He had approached he, pushing her boundaries, forcing her to back up against the wall.

‘No. Not ever. But especially not today.’

Marinette paled quickly. Gina wouldn’t be home for hours and he would most likely follow her home anyways. With no one to bear witness to this, he could do as he pleased. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. He could seriously hurt her or worse... and there would be nothing she could do about it. She’d just fade into the background, just another statistic. No one would believe her because ‘she shouldn’t have dressed like that’ and ‘she definitely wanted it’. So, she would fight and if he won well so be it. At least she had done all she could.

“Has anyone told you it’s rude to hit on people’s girlfriends?” Dick said forcing himself between them. He knew she could handle it but something about that guy made him uneasy. Marinette had exuded confidence but she still trembled and he could see how tense her muscles had been.

“He’s your boyfriend? You could do so much better than him. Just tell him your coming home with me. Or better yet, I’ll pay you to do it in front of me.” Marinette could see the repulsion on Dick’s face, as she gagged. “Yes, that would be way better. I’ll seriously pay you. Got a couple hundred bucks if you want it.” He stated palming himself through his jeans.

“No thanks. Maybe after she’s given birth?”

“She’s pregnant? What a slut. I bet she poked holes in your condom so you wouldn’t be able to leave her. Anyways, got to get back home to the wife and kids. Hit me up when she’s good again.” Marinette flung her arms around Dick as soon as she was sure he was gone.

Tw over

“Thank you so much. He wouldn't have stopped if you hadn’t come Dick.”

“No problem, sunshine.”

“It’s Marinette.” She mumbled, scuffing her shoes against the gym floor.

“What?”

“The name's Marinette. I would have loved to meet you under different circumstances. Oh well. Nice to meet you anyways.”

“You too Mari. Are you driving back home?”

“I actually walked her. I’ll probably just call a taxi or walk back.”

“No way sunshine. That guy is a huge sleaze ball. I don’t doubt that he’ll try something funny. If no one’s coming to pick you up I’ll walk you back home. Ok?”

“Ok.”

Dick had been completely right. The dude had been waiting outside, most likely waiting for Mari to leave but when he saw them leave together, he raced to his car. Dick had memorized his license plate and got a brief description of the car but he would probably dump it somewhere. Still, no harm in trying. He watched constantly to see if he was following them and took some turns to shake him off. In the end, they had arrived and Dick hadn’t left until he saw her actually enter her apartment. He had to tell everyone about Marinette.

-------------------------------------------------

Marinette’s battery had been drained, both physically and socially after that week. Lila had pissed her off and she felt really bad for that guy she spewed on. Not like she would see him again. She’d spent all week working on the dress Tim helped her with to wear to her visit to the Wayne’s tomorrow. It had been her fastest completed project ever, though she had neglected eating and sleeping. Marinette had to agree with Tim. The fade into dark purple had been a nice addition and made it really stand out. Even Penny had thought so when she saw it on their chat about commissions. A hungover Jagged threw a ‘rock’n’roll’ over her shoulder and Marinette had felt a pang in her heart at the tenderness they treated each other with. Maybe, one day she could have that special bond with someone too. But she needed to focus on helping herself heal first. She could see the apologetic look written over Penny’s face to which she giggled at before declaring that she needed some rest.

Gina had forced her to rest before they visited the Wayne’s. Apparently today had been Thursday not Wednesday? The days had just blended into one. She had been intrigued to meet the rest of the family but she felt so weak.

‘Oh well,’ she thought. ‘Nothing a little tea can’t fix.’

Since she had found out she was pregnant, all her normal guilty pleasures had been off limits. No double espresso as bitter as her soul and no alcohol. She had to adapt to the restrictions because of her doctor. So, she whipped up a tea as strong as her go to coffee with way less caffeine. It had still her the kick she needed but it wasn’t as good as she would have liked. Still, she’d take what she could get. It still aggravated her when she would reach for a glass of white wine or coffee beans forgetting about the warnings. It aggravated her when she would call out to Tikki to transform forgetting she was no longer by her side. She would toy with her empty earlobes before letting her tears fall freely. Tikki had been the most loyal-kwami or human- and she still got taken. She wouldn’t pretend it hadn’t hurt but she had moved on. Some days she would remember she wasn’t with her and cry but on some she’d pretend everything was normal. Today was one of those days where she wore herself out from crying. Gina had caught her but even she knew Marinette needed space, assuming she was still upset about Adrien.

After a good half an hour of crying, she went to freshen up refusing to look like a puffer fish when she met everyone. Dabbling at her eyes, she applied light mascara and used concealer under her bags so she wouldn’t look as dead as Tim. She slipped into the dress, wearing it with pride. It had fit like a glove exemplifying her curves and showing her protruding baby bump. That had been the only downside as she wanted it to be a surprise. Though, nothing slipped past Alfred’s keen eyes. She’d been puzzled as to how she could style her hair before she settled on voluminous curls. It had required Gina’s help and a hell of a lot of hairspray but it had been worth it. She set her flower crown upon her head (delivered to her by Adrien) and placed one on Gina's. She’d been quite surprised when Gina told her she would have to go by herself but it wouldn’t be too bad. Alfred and Bruce were kind so she could just chat with them if the others were rude.

--------------------------------------------------

Damian was annoyed. Gina was late. Very late. And he’d been waiting for hours for her to arrive. A soft rap on the door sent him flying out of his seat as he scrambled to unlock the door. He’d expected Gina but on their doorstep was that angel from before.

“You,” he whispered. “Why are you here?” He didn’t like feeling confused so he schooled his features to be cold and cynical. Footsteps behind him caused him to instinctively slam the door shut.

“Sorry angel.” Not that she could hear him. Jason had stood behind him, watching him with curiosity.

“Demon spawn. Who was at the door?” Shit. He couldn’t exactly say how he knew her or his reputation would be tarnished. Everyone in his family knew Todd was the biggest gossiper and he would definitely spread the news. Like hell would he tell Todd. He’d take that secret to his grave.

"It was bArBarA. I mean Gordon. Yeah it was Gordon.” His voice may have cracked several times but it was a convincing lie, right?

“One, you almost never call people by their first names.” Jason said, eyes narrowing slightly. “Two your voice sounded awful. And you don’t stray from perfection. So, what’s your deal?

“Puberty?” He shrugged trying to conceal his panic.

“I’ll take your bullshit for now but you forgot Barbara’s already here. Let’s try this again. Who was at the door?”

“It was that harlot that Grayson suggested I try to court.

“Oh, that bitch. She’s all yours. Just keep her away from me. And Damian when dinner is over, I’ll find you and I’ll kill you. Make no mistake.” And with that, he threw a quick salute over his shoulder and strolled away. Damian had let out a sigh of relief, turning to walk away before he remembered who was still outside.

“Todd tell everyone I went to the bathroom.” He yelled shutting the front door before he could hear his reply. He descended down the stairs only to find her missing. He had begun mapping out all the locations of the manor when his eyes fell upon her. He felt the air forcibly be removed from his lungs and he remained unmoving. Awestruck. His heart squeezed as he watched her sniff his magnolias that he tended to. The way her dress pooled around her and the small but present baby bump had made him flush.

‘She truly was an angel.’ His eyes glanced at the flower crown entangled in her inky locks as the moonlit sky enhanced her celestial look. ‘She’s also much more than that though.’

“Take a picture. It’ll last longer.” She saw his mortified face. “You know getting a door slammed in your face isn’t the greatest first impression a family could give.”

“I’m sorry. But what are you doing here?”

“Expecting a warm welcome, not being left out in the cold, really anything but this. And I don’t even know you so...”

"You do."

"Excuse me?"

"You puked on me. I didn’t think you were going to ever see me again so you surprised me. I didn’t want to explain to anyone how we were acquainted.”

"I’m so sorry. It’s these stupid hormones. And that stupid Lila. Everything is just stupid."

"Lila Rossi? She is pretty stupid.” And then something changed. His face was softer and he hadn’t looked like he would bite her head off. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’m waiting for my grandma but maybe tomorrow. I’m meeting a stuck-up client so I’m gonna need to vent. I’ll tell you the details later?”

“Fine with me.” She hobbled away. She had been patiently waiting by the doorstep, her soft rap probably inaudible due to all the chaos. He whipped out his spare key, unlocking the door. He hadn’t expected that soft click to prompt the attention of his whole family.

"Marinette-"

“Beanie?”

“Pixie pop?”

“Sunshine?”

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH DAMIAN?” they screamed, rushing forwards to envelop her in hugs.

“I let her in. You guys didn’t even hear her knocking. Wait, how do you all know Angel?”

His eyes nervously flitted to hers at the slip of his private nickname. He saw the flush on her cheeks as her mouth formed a small ‘o'. She couldn’t even look him in the eyes as the others taunted him for his cute pet name. He felt Dick ruffle his hair, which took a while to style, and Jason poke his sides. He felt Tim snicker and Barbara pinch his cheek. And he felt Marinette link their hands together in solidarity, enduring the teasing with him. They had been so embarrassed that they completely missed the arrival of Gina and the scheming look on Alfred’s face who dished her the gossip. They missed the dark but silent chuckle that left both Gina and Alfred as they decided to meddle in their kids failing love lives.

“What’d I miss, my little chicks? Because Mama’s home.”

NOTES (optional)

In the part labelled with tw here is what happens:

Creepy old 50 year old man hits on Marinette and feels her up. He asks her to come home with him but Dick helps her out and stops him. He tells them he would pay to watch them go at it and calls Marinette names. He eventually 'leaves' to his wife and kids.

Tags:

@sassakitty @lunathealphafemale @krispydefendorpolice @blackmagicforever @nach0ava @wannajointhecrabcult @thornalchemist23 @moonlightstar64 @iloveitwhen @little-angel1031 @screwthisshit111 @rebecarojas07 @animegirlweeb @mystery-5-5 @moonystars14 @gingerdaile @spyofthenightcourt @mialuvscats @notmycupoftea26 @thequeenofpotatoeunicornss @kuroko26 @miracleofadisaster @novicevoice @iloontjeboontje @abrx2002

[kip-loric]

Remember - Cagel

Uh, hi. This is my first time posting anything, including a fanfiction, so I hope it's good. This is my contribution to the Lorien Legacies fandom, with a Lorien Legacies Reborn ship. Cagel! I finished reading fugitive six and was in the mood and because... why not? Anyways, hope you guys like it, or at least don't hate it.

Caleb's P.O.V.

I open my eyes to see sunlight streaming into my room through my open curtains. My window is slightly cracked open, a damp breeze blowing in through the screen.

I’m on my back, my thick comforter covering my legs and bare torso. I sink slightly into the warm mattress, my pillow feeling like a cloud. I let my heavy eyelids close before forcing them open again.

Wait… I think slowly. Memories blurred by alcohol fill my mind as I notice a slight pressure on my chest and glance down. A pale arm is draped across me. My breath catches in my throat, I’m fully awake now. I angle my head to my left.

Bleached hair is splayed out next to me on my pillow. Holy shit. I whip my head back forward and stare at the ceiling. I can feel lean legs tangled up with mine. I swallow hard and I urge my brain to remember more of yesterday.

What happened? I ask myself.

A bottle of champagne and a few beers come to mind. Damn, how much did I drink? I squeeze my eyes shut and dredge up more from last night.

There was Taylor and Kopano. They were watching a movie, something with action and cars.

I smile a little at the memory. I don’t mind their relationship so much anymore and have even begun to feel happy for them. Soon after they had gotten together, my childish crush on Taylor had begun to fade.

Ran was there too, along with Isabela, who somehow snuck alcohol from the UN Peacekeepers. We met up in our dorm and hung out, putting on some music. There were cups passed out and we talked for a while.

But...what happened after that? I remember Taylor and Ran stumbling out the door, leaning on each other for support. They said they’ll see us tomorrow, and maybe something about sleeping? I guess I wasn’t paying attention to them. I was paying attention to someone else.

I blink open my eyes, focusing on the ceiling once again.

It happened weeks ago. I didn’t notice it at first, the way my gaze seemed to be drawn to my roommate. When he caught me looking at him and I turned away as quickly as I could, I realized something was off.

I couldn’t place my feelings for a while, and then I tried to deny them. I mean, all my previous attractions had been to girls. Sure, I had eyed male peers now and then, but had ignored those feelings, hiding them away. If my brothers found out…

Damn it, though, when he smiles at me, my family's acceptance is the farthest thing in my mind. It’s like the voices in my head turn into background noise and butterflies take over my stomach. I feel blood rush to my cheeks everytime he laughs and I can’t help but join in.

Nigel.

Even the name has a way of taking my breath away.

He had been the first person to really look out for me, and we quickly became close friends. We started a band together, snuck out of the base with our friends, and partied on the beach. The nice punk helped me open up and discover myself.

I take a deep breath and look out of the corner of my eyes. A face filled with piercings is only a few inches away from mine. I can feel my eyes widen and I shake my head to try and clear it.

Focus, Caleb, I think. What happened last night?

Let’s see… Kopano passed out on the couch after eating almost everything in the fridge. He was snoring louder than I’ve ever heard.

And, Isabela drank way too much and ended up puking? Yeah, that sounds right. She slumped down on the couch next to Kopano, propping her head up with a pillow and immediately falling asleep.

So, that just left Nigel and I. Damn. The memories become clearer and I strain my aching mind. Fuzzy images pop into my head of him and I on opposite sides of the kitchen. I had a glass clasped in my hands, and kept refilling it.

“Woah, mate,” he had said. He hadn’t had nearly as many drinks as the rest of us and his voice was clear. “Let’s tone it down a notch, yeah?” I had reluctantly set down the beverage while he walked up to me. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of his hips and the way they moved with each step.

“You alright?” Nigel asked. We had locked eyes and I dumbly nodded.

He has beautiful eyes, I think. And they're often filled with whatever he’s feeling. Compassion, mischief, kindness, sometimes confusion, and tons of other emotions all show themselves there. His eyes have to be my favorite part of him.

You're getting off track, I scold myself.

“C’mon,” he had said. “You look like ya could use some rest.” He had led me to my bedroom and sat on the edge of my bed with me. A shiver had traveled down my spine as he accidentally brushed his shoulder against mine.

“You gonna be okay, pal?” He asked me. And then…then I did something really stupid.

“Nooooo,” I whisper in my room, dragging a hand across my face as the rest of yesterday comes flooding into my mind.

“No,” I had told him, leaning closer to his handsome face. The alcohol had made me unnaturally brave and I had rested one of my hands on top of his. My worries had begun to melt into nothingness. “I won’t be okay if you leave.” I remember how my words slurred together.

His neck began to turn red and his Adam's apple bobbed up and down nervously. “Caleb…” he whispered, his eyes showing confusion and an odd nervousness. Oh, screw it, I had thought, like an idiot with too much to drink.

I had quickly leaned in the rest of the way and pressed my lips to his. I cupped his face with my hands and I closed my eyes as he made a surprised squeaking sound against my mouth.

No, I groan internally. Why, why, why? Why, you dumbass? I glare at the ceiling in my frustration. No matter how strongly I felt drawn to him, our friendship was more important, but I probably ruined it last night.

But then… I scrunch my eyebrows together in uncertainty.

I remember moving my mouth against his passionately while leaning into him, wanting us to be closer. He had planted a hand on my waist to steady us, then kissed me back. His lips were softer than I had imagined them to be as he tried to match my intensity.

He… kissed me back?

Eventually, I let him overpower me and take the lead. He had brushed his tongue piercing over my lips while running his fingers through my sandy blond hair. I had tried to urge on the brit with a small bite to his bottom lip, but the hand that was in my hair faltered instead.

I moved my hands away from his neck and cheeks, beginning to run them down the sides of his body. My right hand had snaked into his shirt and pressed against the small of his back.

I remember myself breaking our kiss, both of us out of breath and panting slightly. I had kissed his jawline and then his neck, earning a low growl from him.

“Oh god,” I mutter while pinching the bridge of my nose. My face gets hot from the embarrassment of intoxicated me, but I take a deep breath and continue my memory hunt.

I had nibbled and suckled the sensitive skin of his neck, making him let out light moans. I felt myself getting hard as I suddenly bit down on his skin and he gasped with surprise. I tugged up on his shirt, my way of telling him I wanted it off.

A deep sense of longing and want took over me and I crawled onto his lap, my face still buried in the crook of his neck. One of my hands had reached down towards the forming bulge in the front of his pants.

I need you. I need you. I need you. The words had chanted over and over again in my mind like a drunken mantra. Nigel gripped my wrist to stop my hand from moving any farther.

“Wait,” he muttered. His voice had seemed distant and fuzzy at the time. He gripped some of my hair and pulled my head back so I looked him in the eyes. We stared at each other for a few seconds before he kissed me softly.

And… my memories stop after that.

Wait, no! What happened!? My breathing falters as I think of the possibilities. I relax a little as I realize my pants are still on, but my heart continues to hammer against my chest. I wrack my brain, but come up with nothing more and finally bring myself to look at the person next to me.

It's definitely Nigel, no doubt about it. His breathing is slow and steady, making my eyelashes flutter with each exhale. He wears a thin tank top and a pair of sweatpants.

Should I wake him? I desperately want to know what happened, but he also looks so calm. I gaze at him, my heart beat settling. My initial panic is soon replaced with a flood of warmth in my chest.

“Nigel,” I whisper, reaching over and nudging his shoulder slightly. “Nigel.” He groans in his sleep, lips pursing together. I shake him a little and he moves his head closer to me.

I take in a sharp breath and his legs shift around, becoming more entangled with mine. His eyelids open slowly and when he sees me he smiles, a pleasant surprise on my part.

“Hi,” he says groggily.

“Good morning,” I whisper.

“Mm,” he replies, eyes half closed. “What’s the time?”

“Um, I’m not sure. I haven’t checked.” Nigel must hear the slight panic in my voice because his eyes open the rest of the way. He lifts his arm off of me and untangles our legs.

“Do you remember last night?” He asks me, starting to sit up. There’s worry in his words and his looks at me with concern and hopefulness.

“Uh, well, I- I remember some, but- uh,” I stutter, sitting up quickly and crossing my legs. “I mean, I- we didn’t have…? Or di- did we?” I rub one of my arms nervously and Nigel gives me a soft smile. “I can’t remember...”

“Nah,” he says quietly. “I stopped you from going too far. You were way too drunk and I couldn’t take you like that. Besides, I wasn’t sure if that’s what you would have wanted.”

I take a deep breath and return the smile. “Thank you.”

He nods, almost sadly, and glances down at the bed. “I’m… not sure if you want any of this.” He motions to the space where we were just sleeping next to each other.

“Oh.”

That’s all you have to say!? I think. Oh? Tell him how you feel! I look up at Nigel and my throat starts to close up. “I-” I blink rapidly a couple times as he looks at me expectantly. “I do. Want this, I mean.”

“Really?” He asks.

“If you do, then yeah.”

His signature smirk returns and he leans closer to me, giving me plenty of time to pull away or rethink my decision. I meet him halfway and our lips crash together. My senses are heightened compared to last night, and the kiss soon turns heated.

We fall back onto my bed, with Nigel on top. He seems much more confident than yesterday and his tongue finds its way into my mouth. He pins one of my arms next to my head and makes an approving noise in the back of his throat.

We kiss for what feels like an eternity, my imagination running wild. A loud knock on my door makes us both jump. We break the kiss and Nigel flings himself off of me.

“Uh,” I say, but Nigel has already caught his breath and strides to the door. He opens it and leans against the doorway.

“Oi, what’s up?” He asks. Lightly panting, I peer over his shoulder and see Isabela’s dark hair on the other side. I start panicking again as she sees me and I give her a small wave. She rolls her eyes and speaks to Nigel.

“Some of us are a little hungover, so if you could kindly shut your traps, that would be nice. Save it for another time? Or maybe put your legacy to good use.”

“Sorry, love,” Nigel tells her, not flustered at all. “We’ll be quiet.”

“Thank you,” she huffs and leaves us alone. Nigel shuts the door quietly behind her and walks back up to the bed. He sits on the edge and swings his legs over, nestling down into the covers and pillows.

He holds out one of his arms. “Cuddling?” I smile happily and let him wrap me in his arms. I nuzzle into his chest and breath in his scent, not wanting the moment to ever end.

“So, does this make you my boyfriend?” He asks after a minute, twirling a few strands of my hair through his fingers.

“I hope so,” I say.

He chuckles lightly and kisses the top of my head. “Good.”

[a-solitary-marshmallow]

Rewind Chapter 3

Awareness came in pieces, like waves lapping over the shore, slowly bringing back each sense. Ford yawned and rolled his neck to ease out a crick. He really should stop sleeping sitting up.

The warm form cuddled against him stirred and he placed a soothing hand on their head of soft curls until they stilled, burying their face in his shirt. Ford hummed happily and let his head rest back against the headboard, content to just stay here forever…

…wait a second.

Ford’s eyes flung open with a jolt.

What had he been thinking, falling asleep? Sleep was the one thing he couldn’t afford! He looked around quickly, heart pounding. He was still sitting against the headboard of his bed, pillows propped behind his back and a child-sized Stanley curled up in his lap, the way they had been when he must have fallen asleep part way through telling stories of his previous discoveries. His journal lay open at his feet. To his relief it was bereft of cryptic code and taunts. Bill must have been busy, or perhaps had not noticed Ford’s slip-up. He hadn’t been possessed.

Ford cursed himself. How could he have made himself vulnerable like that? The portal was wide-open for the taking! And there was no telling what Bill Cipher would do to his brother – his child brother, who was currently helpless and foolishly, trustingly snuggled against the front of Ford’s turtleneck.

He forced himself to take a deep breath. He couldn’t change the past, only the future. Now he had other things to concentrate on – namely, building a Bill-proof barrier, since his investigation on how to cure Stanley had hit a snag – he had none of the components he would need to start reverse-engineering a cure. The sun peeking through his window told that he must have been sleeping for at least an hour. Morning was already slipping away from him.

“Mmmph.” Stanley mumbled. Ford’s hand was still in his curls. Ford couldn’t resist ruffling those curls as Stan pulled his head up, yawning and blinking sleepily. “F’rd?”

“Good morning, Stanley.”

Stan rubbed at his eyes. “Whaza time?”

“Time to start working. Come on, up you go.” Ford lifted his brother from his lap. Stan whined at being put down on the covers.

“Nooooo, ‘s cold!”

“Then hurry up and get moving.” Ford swung his legs over the bed and stood. “I have a lot to do today.”

Stan grumbled the whole time. He was still wearing that old shirt. Perhaps Ford should get him something that fit better? No, it would be useless in a day or so anyway.

Ford spoke to himself as he walked.

“Now, I’ll have to go as soon as possible to get that hair – what’ll I do with you? Oh, children need to receive their daily nutrients, don’t they? Hmm, when was the last time I ate?” He couldn’t recall. “Never mind, it doesn’t matter, I’m an adult, I can stand to skip a few – hmm. Weeks? No, that can’t be right. I should eat too. I have coffee? Is it safe to give a child coffee?” He opened the fridge and stared in dismay at the rows of empty shelves. “Oh. That’s why I haven’t eaten. Guess I’ll just have to – buy some supplies. Yes. Come along Stanley, we’re driving into town.”

“Who’stha whatnow?” Stan stumbled into the kitchen after him. That was right, his brother was certainly not a morning person. Ford wondered again how ethical it was to give a child coffee. Probably shouldn’t risk it.

“Town, Stanley. I have to do some shopping. And come to think of it, you’ll need someone to watch you…” Unless he could just leave the child locked in a room? Ford wasn’t exactly familiar with babysitting protocol. Maybe it was better to just bring him along for now.

He dropped one of his old coats around Stanley’s shoulders and ushered him outside. The coat was a good call ­– it was still freezing. Ford was climbing into the car when he hit another snag.

“…ah.” He didn’t have a booster seat. Stanley would be riding in the back seat, it seemed.

 Luckily the town was still waking up, so it was quite simple to walk in, grab some supplies, pay and leave without having to deal with the hustle of crowds. Ford pulled up in his driveway with a relieved sigh. He thanked his lucky stars that Gravity Falls was slow to wake on a Sunday… wait, no, what day was it?

Didn’t matter.                            

With his arms full of groceries, Ford nudged the door open with his foot. He could hear Stan grunting under the weight of his own load as he placed the bags on the kitchen bench.

Maybe he had gone a little over the deep end, Ford admitted to himself as he went about sorting groceries. He hadn’t realized until this morning that his fridge was empty. That did explain the hollow feeling in his stomach though. Come to think of it, when was the last time he ate? Not counting the copious amounts of coffee and energy drinks he ordered weekly.

It also explained Stan’s rumbling stomach. Honestly, Stan should have said something if he was hungry!

Said child wobbled his way into the kitchen with a shopping bag in his arms. Ford took it and started unloading it as well. Marshmallows – he didn’t remember buying those. Maybe Stanley snuck them into the cart. Ford could remember the gleeful giggles he and Stan would break into when they’d managed to sneak a treat into their mother’s shopping cart. Stan was always better at it than Ford.

Ford shook his head to clear it. He had no time for nostalgic thoughts anymore. He snagged two frozen single-serve pies plates and started searching for clean plates to put them on. Finally he found two with only a few crumbs on them – he brushed one off and placed it in the microwave, trying to remember if he’d paid his electricity bill recently.

He must have, because the microwave was heating and glowing when he pressed the right buttons. Ford sighed and leaned against the bench to wait.

Stanley was in the process of pushing a chair towards the table. He paused to let out a gigantic yawn, rubbing his eyes with his too-big sleeve.

“Tired?” Ford found himself asking. Stan nodded and yawned again.

“Mm hmm.”

“Did you have trouble getting to sleep?” The uncomfortable position must not have helped.

Stan finished pushing the chair and now he crawled up into it and rested his elbows on the table. On closer inspection he did look tired, dark bags collecting under his eyes.

“Nah.” Stan rested his cheek on one hand, squishing his round face slightly. “Just had weird dreams.”

A shiver ran down Ford’s spine.

He hadn’t even considered if – what would happen if Stan made a deal with Bill Cipher? Had already made a deal? It would explain why Bill wasn’t in Ford’s dreams. Ford hadn’t warned his brother about the demon, he’d been so sure that Bill would focus on him and him alone, but Stanley was vulnerable here and Ford hadn’t even thought about it-

“Did you make a deal?” He demanded. Stan blinked at him blearily.

“What?”

“A deal. In your dream. Did you shake anyone’s hand? Talk to anyone?”

Stan shook his head with another yawn. “Don’ think so.”

He was a child, Ford reminded himself sharply, a child that didn’t grasp the significance of what was happening. He needed to have patience. Or else Stan might clam up and refuse to talk to him further.

“Stanley.” Ford forced his tone to stay even and slow. Stan send him a curious look. “I need you to tell me everything that happened in your dream. It might be important. Okay?”

Stan frowned. “Uh – okay. Are you gonna interpret my dream, like Ma does?”

“…something like that. But it’s very important you don’t leave out any details.”

“Okay.” Stan hummed for a minute, in thought, before he brightened. “Oh, yeah! So I was in my car – I mean, I don’t have a car, but it was a dream and you just know stuff in dreams so even though I don’t have a car I knew it was my car – and it was all snowy outside. I think I was stuck in a snow bank or something. Hey Ford, where do snowmen keep their money?”

The microwave beeped. Ford placed the hot pie in front of Stanley and searched for a fork. “A snow bank. Continue.”

Stan pouted. “You ruined my joke!”

Ford handed him a fork. Stan sighed and poked at his pie while Ford started heating up his own. After a moment the child continued, his voice uncharacteristically somber.

“It was really cold. Like, really cold. I could see my breath and it wasn’t even cool. Haha – cool. I… didn’t know cold hurt so much. It was like my bones were made of ice, all cracking and popping.”

“Was anyone in the car with you?”

Stan screwed up his face in thought. “Um, no. Just me.”

“Then what happened?”

“Well, I had some matches and I was lighting them for warmth, but then they ran out.” Stan paused for a moment with a frown, comedic on his childish features. “I, um, was looking for some more in the glove box and a gun fell out. An’ I don’t know where I got it but I know it’s mine. S’ gotta be, if it’s in my car, right? But I don’t remember where I got it and I don’t know if it’s got any bullets in it.”

Ford nodded along. If Stanley could recall the dream so vividly, it probably wasn’t a normal dream, the likes of which tended to fade as quickly as they had appeared. But so far it didn’t seem like Bill’s style.

“What happened then?”

Stan bit his lip, wincing. “Um, you remember how we used to play Russian Roulette with soda cans? How we’d shake one up and take turns opening ‘em and try not to get the fizzy one?”

Ford got a bad feeling in his gut. “Of course.”

“I, um, I can’t remember why, but I wanted to find out if it had bullets in it. So I put it to my head and pulled the trigger.” Stan pulled a face like he’d tasted something sour. “There was this click and I guess it was empty because nothing happened. So I put it back and curled up all small, because it was still super cold, and I think I went back to sleep.” Stan shrugged with one shoulder. “Then it ended.”

Well, there was a lot to unpack there, and Ford could unpack it later. The microwave beeped to signify his breakfast was sufficiently warmed. He took it and slid into the seat opposite Stan.

“Is that everything? No one talked to you? How clearly do you remember it?”

“S’weird.” Stan admitted, pulling off the top of the pie to get at its insides. “So normally dreams kinda fade, all fuzzy-like, right? But the ones I had last night aren’t fading. It feels real but not-real.”

“Vivid?”

“Yeah, maybe.” Stan shrugged. Ford took a bite of his pie and was chewing before he registered what had just been said. He spluttered a little.

“Ones? Plural?”

“Uh, yeah.” Stan shrugged again. “The other one was weirder. Do you wanna know about that one too?”

“Do I – why wouldn’t I? Why didn’t you mention that?”

“Well, it was shorter and way more blurry. I couldn’t even see anything so I don’t think it really counts as a dream.”

“Tell me.”

Stan scrunched up his face. “You sure? It’s kinda silly.”

Ford sent him a look and Stan sighed.

“Fine. In the second one it was all dark, I couldn’t see anything. Well, not at first. There was this… man.” Stan shuddered. “This, uh, really creepy guy. And he put me in a coffin? No, um, a car trunk I think. It was all dark and then I couldn’t see anything. Then there was just lots of noises, and rumbling, and it got all wet.”

“Wet?” Ford echoed. Stan shrugged.

“Yeah, all wet. And cold. Like I’d been dumped in a lake or somethin’! Cause the whole trunk started flooding, which was really scary. An’ I don’t remember how I got out but at some point I was swimmin’ up feeling like my lungs were gonna explode.” Stan shivered, hugging himself. “An’ my mouth hurt and the water tasted like metal an’ it was so dark. Then, um… I dunno, I woke up or something?” He frowned. “Wait, no, there was something else – about a llama that knew too much? It all kinda gets smudgy.”

Unsettling, certainly, and something to ask questions about later – but for now it sounded like Bill had missed his chance to mess with the Pines twins. Ford let himself relax slightly.

“Thank you, Stanley, for telling me.”

“So are you gonna read my future or something?”

“No.”

Stan poked out his tongue. Ford sighed. The matter aside, he still had to find someone to look after Stanley while he got the unicorn hair! But there was only one person in Gravity Falls he trusted, and…

Well, that person might not pick up the phone.

But desperate times called for desperate measures. Surely, surely Fiddleford would at least hear him out? And if that failed Ford could always lock the child in a room for a couple hours.

Mind made up, Ford excused himself to go make a call.

His palms were oddly sweaty as he dialed the number he knew off by heart and pressed enter. The phone rang once, twice, thrice in his hand. Surely a hopeless endeavor. Ford was sure he wasn’t going to pick up, when there was a click and a crackly voice sounded tiredly down the line.

“Hello?”

His old assistant’s voice sent his heart leaping in his chest. Ford hurriedly cleared his throat. “Fiddleford? It’s me, Stanford.”

In the half-second of frigid silence that followed, Ford began to realize he might have made a mistake by introducing himself.

“Wait!” He gasped out. “Please don’t hang up.”

“What do ya want?” Fiddleford growled out. He sounded so unlike himself that it made Ford pause. But – no. This was Fiddleford. His research assistant. His friend. The one person he could trust.

“I – I need your help.” Ford admitted. He plunged on before Fiddleford could interrupt, “I was an idiot. You were right – about the portal, about Bi- the demon.”

There was a crackly silence. Ford took a deep breath.

“I know that what I did is unforgiveable. I abandoned you and refused to heed your warnings. I understand if you can never forgive me. But please, I need your help to fix what I’ve done.”

“I aint goin’ near that portal!” Fiddleford’s voice lifted in both volume and pitch. Ford hurried to reassure him.

“No, no, of course not. That’s not what I need your help with. And it’s not for me, it’s for my twin brother.”

“You have a twin?” Fiddleford demanded, a lilt of curiosity sneaking into his tone. He sounded a little more like the man Ford knew. “Why didn’t ya tell me that?”

“Stan and I haven’t on the best of terms recently.” Ford explained. “Fiddleford, you’re a father, you know how to take care of children. I need you to take care of my brother – just for a little while.”

“Whoa, hold up.” There was shuffling on the other end of the line. “I’m gonna need ya to go back to the beginning. What did ya get yourself into this time?”

Ford chuckled humorlessly. “An experiment gone wrong. Stanley – my twin brother – has been reverted back into a child.”

A pause.

“Fiddleford?”

His friend let out a sigh. “Yeah, sure, course this is happening. Weird stuff always happens around you, Stanford.”

Ford chose to take that as a compliment. “I currently have my hands full. There is a spell – a magical barrier, in fact – that can protect us against the demon you warned me about, allowing me to disassemble the portal without risk. But to do this I have so obtain several rare ingredients. I can’t take Stanley with me, and I can’t leave him alone. I was hoping you would be able to watch him. Just for a little while!” He added nervously. “I know Stanley can be a handful but I’ll be back as quickly as I can and-”

“Ford, shut yer yap.”

Ford shut up.

“I’ll not leave a child alone, no matter what I think of his brother. When d’ya need him taken care of?”

Ford let out a breath and thanked any and all deities that may have lent a helping hand. “I was hoping, today? As soon as possible?”

Fiddleford groaned. “Fine, fine – but only for the kid!” He added. “And in the name of keepin’ that demon away. Not for you.”

“I understand completely.”

“Ya still at yer cabin?”

“Yes.”

“’Course ya are. Now, how old’s yer brother?”

“Ah…” Hmm. Ford had never been good at ages. He’d passed through them himself and never looked back. “He’s old enough to talk. And complain about not having clothes that fit. Maybe about as old as Tate was when I last saw him…?”

Another long-suffering sigh. “A’right, a’right. I’ll bring some old clothes of Tate’s, see if they fit, and I’ll watch the little tyke for ya. But I’m not goin near that portal. Or any of your hinky experiments, ya hear?”

“Certainly. Thank you, Fiddleford.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be there in an hour, maybe two.”

“Thank you.” Ford said again. Fiddleford hung up.

[thewebcomicsreview]

Oh shit, Homestuck 2 is back! Looks like the art team problems are getting worse, but maybe the writing’s good? Quick, recap of the story so far, since there was a hiatus

Previously, on Homestuck 2:  DIRK: I’m evil now and we’re on a new planet where we shall create our own lifeforms and rule them as gods ROSE: I’m making memes and vaginas DIRK: NOOOOO ROSE: Jade got me preganté and we named our kid Yiffy and I kept it a secret from everyone this whole time, including my wife but inexplicably not the dictator I’ve trying to overthrow, who kidnapped her JOHN: NOOOOO CALLIOPE: I’m in ur bod drinking ur juice JADE: NOOOOO CALLIOPE: Oh, like you’re not used to having weird people inside you, skank JADE: Wow, rude, I’m kicking you out of my brain for that  CALLIOPE: NOOOOO JOHN: Man, I love how my son tells me everything and keeps no secrets  KARKAT: John! Vriska’s alive and she murdered the clown pope and your son is hiding her because he and his friends are wanted for treason  JOHN: ...... KARKAT: You’re supposed to say “NOOOOO” John: Why would I? That fucking rules!  We now return to Homestuck 2

Yay, we’re finally seeing Davebot, Aradia, and Calliope. Fun fact: In a comic with like ten billion retcons and timeline splits, this Aradia is still the definitive “real” Aradia in a way no other character can claim to be (except Sollux), which is a fun endgame for a character who was introduced has having hundreds of thousands of duplicates.  I can not wait to see how the HS2 writers ruin her. (Also, where did they get a rocket ship?)

Also it it me, or is there something a little off about this art?

DAVEBOT: beep boop ARADIA: i have told you several times that i was a robot before and i know for a fact you dont have to say beep boop DAVEBOT: hm that sounds fake does not compute ARADIA: david DAVEBOT: mom

“David”? 

This is the first indication in the entire series that any of these kids’ names are short for anything, something Hussie explicitly said wasn’t the case but which was never actually addressed in the comic proper so I guess it’s not a plot hole. Still, it feels a little....wrong? 

ARADIA: well we are both an infinite number of years old living countless lifetimes at once but thats no reason to waste any of our...

Wait, what?! Aradia is Ultimate, too? When did that happen?! Why does she not need a robot body? 

DAVEBOT: time DAVEBOT: say time ARADIA: ... DAVEBOT: time then make a weird face

There’s a fine line between “callback” and straight up recycling a joke. 

ARADIA: would you say you are hung up on leaving your wife and friends behind DAVEBOT: are you ARADIA: am i hung up about leaving your wife and friends behind ARADIA: i do not think that i am no DAVEBOT: arent you even a little guilty about ditching your boyfriend ARADIA: what ARADIA: oh fuck

I do like the implication here that Aradia flat forgot about Sollux. Poor dude can’t catch a break. .

Ooh, an [S]. An extremely basic one, but still. Also, from this scene in the epilogues:

The distant sounds of war travel above the canopy of a forest. The artillery fire fades to a series of muted knocks and thuds as the sound waves cross beyond a thinning patch of the forest and arrive in a clearing of grass and shrubbery. Above, the sky is dramatic, colorful, menacing. The way it looks when a storm is coming. The clouds are wild, whipped into a sort of spatial frenzy, as if they know what’s imminent is no earthly phenomena. Aradia stands in the field, her mouth gaping wide. But not at the sky.

Probably the starkest example of how the epilogues presented Earth C has falling about and doomed and stormy and scary like the system crash in Reboot and Homestuck 2 has it all sunny and bright. I kind of wish HS2 kept the semi-apocalyptic feel of the epilogues, even if it made Aradia’s spurious decision to leave Sollux behind way more dickish. 

Oh hey, God’s back, and back in the body of the OG pre-Retcon Jade Harley. There’s something very Shoujo about this posing.

DAVEBOT: thanks JADE: They sit in each other's presence, the silence between them as meaningful as any words they could exchange. DAVEBOT: its always really cool to hear how meaningful my silences are DAVEBOT: especially while DAVEBOT: CALCULATING DAVEBOT: CALCULATING DAVEBOT: especially while i am attempting to experience them

I think Calliope, and possibly Aradia, is shipping Dave/Aradia right now, which is a pairing that has some comedic appeal were it not for Dave’s gayness.

ARADIA: i think she looks quite lovely covered in the viscera of the all-powerful enemy she consumed ARADIA: floating lifelessly in our periphery

We just established that this is months after they left Candyland. Has Jade’s body been covered in the blood and guts of Lord English this entire time? Take a goddamn shower, Jesus. 

Oh, there we go. Much better. Also, the one thing I heard about this upd8 was all the discussion of jorts, and then Dave references jorts, but no one is actually wearing them, unless Aradia’s got a pair on under her cultist robes? (Also, is Calliope’s Jade body healed from the shard of reality that killed it originally, or is there just a huge hole under her shirt)?

JADE: As a point of curiosity- ARADIA: oh shit!!!!

The dead Cherub possessing the body of an equally deceased Goddess of Space pauses at the interruption. Were she to voice her opinion, it would be that --actually-- it is not unusual for those whose primary concern is The Grander Scheme to have a passing curiosity about the insignificant. So when one really thinks about it, any annoyance with the attendant’s small mindedness is both understandable and warranted.

ARADIA: :(

Given how much time was spent on how Terezi can sense Dirk’s narration, I like how Calliope’s narration is literally just her talking out loud and everyone can clearly hear it and just assumes it’s like a troll quirk.

ARADIA: in this form our bodies stop aging once we reach maturity i think ARADIA: the god tier keeps our physical form locked in a state of undying ARADIA: even in death the bodies do not decay ARADIA: only lay dormant DAVEBOT: no thats boring DAVEBOT: like how long have you been alive JADE: yes, that one.

One of the things I don’t fully get about Calliope is why there’s stuff like this she doesn’t know. Another thing I don’t get: How come John and Jake are visibly middle-aged? They’re gods, too. 

ARADIA: you were there too i threw your air conditioner into the sun DAVEBOT: wow thats fucked up DAVEBOT: thats not where that goes at all JADE: these events are not-canonical. ARADIA: rude

I believe this is a reference to Pesterquest?

DAVEBOT: is that the trope of being hundreds of years old but looking young forever patently sucks ass DAVEBOT: a plot device an asshole would write ARADIA: :( JADE: that is not what i am trying to say at all. DAVEBOT: hmm wow yeah thatd really be a sort of pot/kettle situation i guess DAVEBOT: i cant believe im the only woke one here DAVEBOT: its hard being such a visionary AND such a fine metallic specimen

What the fuck is David even talking about? What? 

DAVEBOT: but can she see why kids love the sweet cinnamon taste of cinnamon toast crunch JADE: i do not know, or care, what that means. ARADIA: neither do i :)

I like the “Best Narrator” mug, and with this sudden headache to interrupt the laughter comes the end of the chapter and presumably a lead in to the next one when we’ll learn what’s blowing Calliope’s mind 

[everyone-has-their-story]

Season 3 episode 10 commentary with my sister:

Okay NOW can I stalk their instagrams???

Let’s have a moment of silence to mourn that this is the last episode

This recap is depressing the shit out of me, like thanks for the reminder but no thanks

Please tell me he is not playing video games

SENNE!

Wait, go back for a second!....the poster above the tv says “worry less, laugh more” and if that isn’t a fucking tagline for Robbe then idk what is

Exams? No, Senne, not exams

Senne just munching on some snacks while Robbe is having a crisis

It’s not your fault Robbe!

Senne give him some brotherly advice

Stop mentioning her name!

LOLLL Senne you fool

Listen to the man!

Senne dropping the knowledge on Robbe..i love it

Oh shit it’s Christmas! Definitely forgot about that

Stop fighting!!

Zoe wtf you doing?

That fucking ringtone again..

His phone is bigger than his head

YAY!! **raises arms to the sky to celebrate** (news about his mom)

Him smiling means I’m smiling

Wow way to be a Debby Downer Milan…

Okay, but Robbe...where is your man?

Oh the hospital! Is he visiting his mom or Sander??

FUCK. MY. LIFE! Not her

GONE? Gone where??

Idc if I’m a bitch, but I still don’t like her

Explain yourself to him! What did you mean??

Was that a drawing of Robbe???

LOL to Britt if that was Robbe

I mean I guess we can let you know..

It was him!! Damn he is good

Fucking hell the shaky breaths are back

So did Sander just like leave all his shit there?

Yes call him

Damn right there is! (”there is an us”)

Damn right you do! (”i love you”)

I want him to call ALL of us immediately...except Britt

Cool so still no Sander?

Waddup Jens!

Listen to Jens, don’t go down that road

Sander!

There is that chernobyl again

Good to know you’re safe, but he just wants to be with you

Yes, Robbe..Chernobyl- Wait, the school!!!!!

RUNNNNNNN!!

Why do I know this song?

Oh god there are flashbacks

Why do I recognize this song?

I knew it was the school

More flashbacks?? Lord help me

Sanderrrr where are you

Oh shit, go back that was so cool (the drawings turning into flashbacks)

So many memories!!!!

This is so cool

Where is-- FOUND HIM

**presses pause** I feel the need to take a moment because this is going to be an emotional scene…. **presse play**

He look so lost

No, don't go away!

Oh god he’s crying..help

PAUSE! ..are those drawings of Robbe above his desk?? **peers closely at the tv** oh god they are **presses play**

Shit! They are all over the room!!

Yes, stay!

Nope he will always be there

Ahhh no he will!

We were all worried

Oh god he is holding his--nope he is kissing his hand

Nooo you’re not toxic

Holy shit this is so good

We BOTH have never felt something like that (RIP to her bf again)

Oh boy he said I love you..i’m a mess

He will always say it!

Not in any universe

Oh shit the song is back...where is that from??  **informs her it is from the first kiss** Oh well way to fuck me up with the soundtrack

Oh a game!

Omg the minute by minute already?

Yes, let’s play that

Yes, very chill

His little smile 

This is so sweet

The song is back!

Oh nooooo! Oh god

I’m not okay...not at all

Omg I wasn’t ready for a break down...

I don’t even know where to begin...Sanderrrr

Honestly their acting in this is fucking amazing

OMG! Call back to their almost first kiss!!

Pause! I’m sorry but play that scene again…

**physically covers her mouth for the entire 2nd time watching it**

One more time and then I swear we can move on, I just feel like I missed things…

**third time through** all the pictures!!! This is so painful to watch, but also makes me so happy. I’m so torn...I’m happy Sander has Robbe because Robbe is so sweet...this is hard to watch...I’m emotional on so many levels please don’t judge me...this is so much harder to watch than Skam...I hate how sentimental I am being because it just reminds me of you and I hate it...don’t judge me….also these actors are so fucking good, and I know I’ve said that but it’s true

Before we move on and I don’t care that I’ve paused it and rewound it like a thousands times, you’re gonna listen to another rant. There is so much to say about that scene and I don’t know if i will ever be able to say it all or put it into words and like I said before I’m being overly emotionally about this so please don’t judge me. I know that this is so different form Skam because they combined two scenes and there was a lot more discussion, but I liked the changes because I felt like it fit these characters more. And I love that Robbe never tried to be like oh that’s silly don’t think that, he was just like yeah that shit might happen but I’m still gonna be here. And the call back to the almost kiss was perfect. The whole scene was amazing and well done. Idk, there is so much more to say but I’m just gonna shut up for now

Okay...we can move on now

Oh sweet lord I wasn’t ready...that is fucking adorable

Little spoon Robbe!

Is this a Grease song??

That is the most annoying alarm

Don’t worry Britt, he already has

This is sweetest scene and no one has talked

No! He would never leave you!

Lol to the universe again

Oh yeah...school..that’s a thing

Ofc he is coming back, you silly billy

Still weirded out by the fact that they have little windows on their doors

Does Robbe know what pants are? Like feel free to wear them

Oh mother fucker…

Please tell this isn’t happening

I didn’t go through an entire season of hell with you two to have it end like this

Oh sweet fucking lord..I hate it

CUT! Scene over! 

Noo!

Fuck my life…

Brother and sister right here..love it

Oh hey Moyo

I mean he’s had better days but thanks for asking

Only good advice you’ve ever given dude

You better be okay with it, but thanks for saying it

MAYBE? Maybe it seemed that way? Boy..

I mean I guess you can be broerrs, but you’ve got a lot of work to do my friend

Jens...what?? Check your eyesight

No he would NOT do you

Hahahhaha Jens is butthurt again

He’d choose dying

LOL at you Aaron

I mean, never say never Aaron

Robbe laughing? A rare sight and I love it

Are they out shopping together??

Oh right..it’s christmas time..

NO, let’s stay on topic Zoe

Robbe out here being the relationship expert now

Agree to disagree Zoe

Okay cool let’s not focus on his good traits…

Dude same (Zoe says she feels like shit)

Hahahahaha disaster gay again

Oh Robbe, thank god you brought Zoe

I love this friendship

Damnit right it didn’t feel right

It does indeed (robbe says shit with Sander sucks)

Hell yes it feels right between you two

Oh hey Noor! Legit forgot about you for awhile

Awkward..

I mean yeah..but who wouldn’t want you (robbe) around? Fools, that’s who

She’s pretty cool, I’ll give you that

He’s better than alright...he’s phenomenal

Oooh a party! Hope I’m invited 

Aww Milan and Sander bonding! Love that

Cozy indeed

Milan as a babysitter sounds like a terrible idea

Did he just call him an angel???

Once again Milan is me, I am Milan

They are so fucking cute...they deserve it

The virus??? Holy shit. They started the coronavirus! You bastards

**dances** party time!!

Interior designers over here

Milan you sneaky man you...NO PEEKING!

Jack Frost?!?! Hahahhahahaha OMG hahahaha

Aaron you weirdo wtf???

LOL at Sanders face!! Same, dude same

Also sidenote: him saying he is Robbe’s bf...makes me so fucking happy

Those smiles at each other..fucking adorable

Noor! You made it!

Presents for everyone!

Who is giving alcohol to the Hot Mess Express??

No idea what just happened but ROBBE IS SMILING

Back that shit up! **rewinds** They really looked at each other after Milan said that! (about a cute boy for a present)

Milan disappoint level 100

OMG Noor got Sander?? And a Bowie shirt? Fucking legend

LOL at the fact that Noor is in between Robbe and Sander

Cuddles! (robbe and Sander on the couch)

Luca she is never going to understand anything sex related..poor girl

Back up! **rewinds** Robbe out here spinning his man on the dance floor, so cute

Oh good Lord Aaron is going for it?

Aaron man, don’t fuck it up

I know I should focus on Aaron, but Sander in the background smiling has my attention and I don’t feel bad about that at all

Aaron, man the fuck up! 

There ya go buddy

She is one of kind that’s for sure…

I know I give Amber a lot of shit but you go girl!!

AHHHHH!!!

Shock level 1,000

LOL at everyone’s reaction

**dances** this is my jam!!

DANCE FOR ME, DANCE FOR ME!!

Robbe go and dance my dude

Wait I remember the vlogs..nvm don’t dance

Sander and laughing is a beautiful combo

Oooo I see you Noor and Moyo

He told his mom!

Oh shit Sander looks good in this scene

Oh you got jokes again Sander? 

Yes meet the parents!!

I hope we get to see it (LOL at Kennedy)

Yeah but you’re bringing the BEST boy home

Robbe’s got jokes now too

Sander’s philosophy around Robbe now: clothing optional

Aww they’re so happy and cute! 

That is very true Robbe

The looks between--- oh shit hey Hot Mess Express!

OMG! Robbe said fuck all y’all I’m gonna make out with my bf in front of you

The fact that everyone is cheering them on and Robbe is comfortable with doing that...I’m overwhelmed

WAIT! It’s over?!?!

Holy shit I wasn’t ready…

I have so many thoughts on this season...it was so fucking good. Willem fucking killed it and whoever played Sander (informs her of his name) they are both Willem?! Wtf that’s confusing...anyways they both fucking killed it!! Robbe from episode 1 to now...I’m so proud...I have more thoughts so listen up

**goes on a rant for 10+ more minutes** I am definitely rewatching this season next week because I felt like i missed a lot and I want to focus on the small things

[soulmate-game]

The format is slightly off because I hate formatting on this app, so if you want a better experience then read the chapter on AO3. Without further ado, Chapter 12 of The Heroes’ Game.

Chapter 12 AO3

—*—*—*—*—*

“So. This is the useless, goo-minded model of an ex-friend who decided to suddenly regrow the spine that had spontaneously combusted two years ago?”

“That was three insults in ten seconds, Marinette,” Adrien pointed out, eyebrows high on his face, the blond impressed.

“I forgot to say spoiled.”

“Wow. You weren’t kidding,” Adrien shook his head, smiling slightly. “We can never let him and Kagami meet. They would be unstoppable.”

Marinette, who finally decided to stop holding back her beaming smile, laughed cheerfully. “Also, this is Damian’s brother Tim,” she gestured to the slightly older man, who smiled politely and waved from his place in the passenger’s seat of the luxury car. Marinette was sat in the middle of the car’s back row, one rich green-eyed teenage heir to either side of her.

“Also, Marinette,” Damian took hold of the conversation as Adrien introduced himself to his elder brother. “I notice you are wearing a new necklace. Any particular reason? It does not look like your usual style.”

The pigtailed girl blinked, rubbing her hand over the simple silver chain that held Chat Noir’s ring under her shirt. It took all her willpower to not cast a glance at Adrien as she ran her fingertips over it.

“It isn’t, but a family friend gave me an heirloom of his for good luck,” she said slowly, testing out the lie that Tikki had helped her create the previous night. “I decided to put it on a chain and wear it under my clothes. Something tells me that I’ll need all the luck I can get this week.”

Plagg was a bit grumpy at his ring being told to be a good luck charm when the truth was the exact opposite, but he had been suitably ignored by both Tikki and Marinette. The cat Kwami took a little too much pride in his unlucky and destructive powers.

“So, I couldn’t help but notice you mentioned a Kagami. That wouldn’t happen to be the Olympic gold medalist fencer Kagami Tsurugi, who is rumored to be studying in Paris to improve her skills, would it?” Tim asked, turning in his seat to face the teenagers in the back. Marinette and Adrien both smiled widely, nearly blinding both Wayne’s present.

“Oh yeah, that’s her,” Adrien confirmed, nearly bouncing in his seat. “She and I actually became soulmates almost four months ago,” Adrien pulled up his sleeve to show the stylized foil in stunning maroon on his arm. “She says I’m one of the only people who can still keep up with her in a spar. She’s ruthless,” Adrien’s face just got dreamier as he spoke. “She isn’t the best at socializing, but me, Marinette, and some of our other friends have been helping her out. She didn’t exactly get the best childhood, being raised to be the best fencer possible and compete at the Olympics and all. Kagami’s mom isn’t exactly the most friendly person you’ll ever meet, but somehow Marinette worked her magic,” Adrien chuckled a bit at the memory. “She just has this— this natural ability, I guess. Marinette, I mean. She knows exactly what to say and do in order to get someone to realize the mistakes they’re making. She had two conversations with Tsurugi-San. Two. And even though Kagami’s mom hasn't completely changed, she’s a lot more lenient now and actually makes an effort to be more sensitive in how she treats Kagami. That’s why I’ve always considered Marinette to be our every-day Ladybug,” he turned and offered the girl he was trying to earn the forgiveness of a small, sad smile. “Even if I haven’t really expressed that enough lately.”

“Every day ladybug?” Tim asked, eyebrow raised. Marinette had her head in her hands out of embarrassment.

“Adrien, nooooo!”

She was ignored.

The blond in the car nodded, eyes wide and shining with innocent enthusiasm. “Oh yeah. So Ladybug is Paris’s hero, right? She always manages to save the day, turn everything back to normal, and always looks after the city. But Marinette is like our hero without a costume. She always cares about our emotions, does her best to solve problems even for strangers, and cares about everyone she meets. She put together this whole trip— sure, it was funded because of the contest, but we never would have been able to come without Marinette’s planning and foresight. She did all this even though the majority of the class isn’t on good terms with her anymore. She had no obligation to do any of this for us, she could have just asked to come by herself, but she did all of it anyway. Because she cares even for people who aren’t nice to her.”

“Nobody deserves to just stay in Paris when they have an option to escape for a while,” Marinette argued, frowning. “It’s a toxic prison with HawkMoth running around. Regardless of how the class treats me, everyone deserves a break from that.”

Adrien just gestured to Marinette with his eyebrows raised as if to say, ‘you see?’

“I didn’t realize you were this much of a boot-licker,” Damian sneered, eyes narrowed and distrusting towards the blond model. “Marinette may not have been able to tell me everything, but simple observation can fill in the blanks. You were a limp noodle around the liar just yesterday, and while I do not doubt that what you say about Miss Dupain-Cheng is true, it sounds far too close to flattery for my liking. She may be kind and forgiving, but let me assure you that I do not accept a traitor’s words so easily. You were clearly a cowardly slime just earlier this week, all fake smiles and weak assurances,” the Wayne heir leaned forward so his dark, piercing green eyes locked with Adrian’s own acidic ones. “How do I know you will not turn tail again? Abandon Marinette as soon as something difficult comes along again? Why are you here, Agreste?”

The fencer’s lips thinned, and he clasped his hands between his knees without breaking eye contact. “I was stupid,” he admitted, sounding far more tired than anyone their age should have to. “I was distracted. My home life isn’t the best, never has been. Pretty much all my experience in social interaction comes from these past three years in school with Marinette and the others. And no, that’s not an excuse. I knew Lila was lying, but I didn’t know how toxic it was. How toxic it would get. And when my father gave me the ultimatum to stay on Lila’s good side, I wasn’t brave enough to say no,” Adrian finally broke eye contact and looked down at his entwined hands. He clenched them tighter as he thought about the past week in Gotham. “But I got sick over the weekend. I’m still a little sick, but I’m getting better now. And I think it— the weakness, how bad I was feeling… suddenly waking up this morning feeling so much better physically helped me realize how empty I felt. I usually ignore it in Paris because I can’t afford to get Akumatized. I wouldn’t forgive myself,” his jaw clenched. “But here, far away from HawkMoth, I finally saw it. Life in Paris sucks right now. The atmosphere in the class is draining. And I realized the only light in it still was being hurt, and I had ignored it. I called Kagami, she helped me realize just how badly I screwed up. I didn’t even realize the environment I had just left Marinette in, pretty much alone. I made a huge mistake,” he raised his eyes back up to Damian’s, the acidic, verdant eyes burning with new, renewed, determination. “I won’t make it again.”

“Tt. See to it that you don’t, or I will.”

“Oh, you didn’t mention he’d make a threat in the first ten minutes! We definitely should never let him and Kagami meet.”

“Stay intimidated you damn inconsistent ape!”

—*—*—*—*—*

“Everyone split up into teams. We’ll be going in groups of five, if you don’t want to participate you can stick to the top rows of bleachers,” the coach was instructing everyone gathered in the gym. Madame Bustier translated for those of the students who didn’t speak fluent English. It didn’t take long for Lila and her closest crew to move up to the topmost bleachers and away from the risk of being drafted to play basketball.

Why would Lila risk breaking a nail for sports, after all?

Marinette, on the other hand, still had a lot of energy to get rid of even if she had gone freerunning not that long ago with Robin and Red Hood. The ring sitting warmly against her chest did not at all help, its resonance with her earrings almost overflowing her with power and energy she was wholly unused to. She needed to vent it somehow, even if just a little.

She didn’t think about how a lesser person would have already been consumed by that energy.

The second the coach asked for volunteers for team captain, Marinette had never risen her hand faster for something. Nobody else had a chance (except Jon, but she didn’t have to know that. The kryptonian boy hadn’t made much effort anyway). The coach smiled widely.

“Good, someone with enthusiasm! Wanna make it a Paris against Gotham game? Choose your team Dupain-Cheng. Wayne, you’ll captain the opposing team.”

Marinette smiled widely in triumph, standing and immediately picking her team as her hand moved alongside her voice, pointing out her chosen teammates. “Alix, Kim, Ivan, Ad—if you’re feeling up to it, Adrien. If not, I can��“

“No, I’m good,” Adrien held up a hand to stop his pigtailed friend from devolving into stutters as he stood up. “I won’t get better lying around, anyway. Just go easy on me, Boss.”

Marinette chuckled at that, turning to see who Damian had chosen. Jon, to nobody’s surprise. Four other people Marinette only vaguely recognized from classes. They all looked athletic and not too intimidated by the Ice Prince, which made the Parisian designer suitably wary of the group as they went to the center of the court to get started.

“We’ll let the Paris team start this time, as a welcome to America,” the coach decided, handing the ball to Mari. He backed up until he was no longer in the way, and both teams got into their positions. “Ready… start!”

Marinette’s eyes flew, knowing everyone was waiting for her first move. Plan, plan— aha! Her lips curled into a smirk, and without warning she darted straight towards Damian’s team.

The ex-assassin wasn’t about to let her go that easily though, of course, and ran straight to intercept her. Only, she took advantage of the way Jon almost instinctively followed Damian to cover his back, and tossed the ball around her green-eyed pursuer straight at the spectacled boy. Jon’s eyes widened, and he smiled. He thought for sure Mari had miscalculated, and put forth a burst of speed to catch the ball headed towards his chest—

Only for a blur of yellow to fly right in front of him, snagging the ball and carrying it further into the Gotham team’s side of the court. Jon pursued Adrien, who passed to Kim. The seasoned athlete had already skirted around the distracted crowd to end up close to the basket, and dunked the ball as soon as he caught it.

Paris, 2. Gotham, 0.

Damian instantly whipped his head to stare at his soulmate, who had her arms crossed as she grinned at him smugly.

That kind of wordless teamwork didn’t come out of nowhere though, and Damian felt his eyes narrow. If Chat was Adrien, and he and Marinette had started off such a seamless play, then his suspicions just got another support beam to hold them up. Maybe he would put effort into this game after all.

“Jon, don’t follow me so closely. Marinette took advantage of you not watching your own back, stay observant,” he told his friend, a clear double meaning behind his last two words. Jon raised two perfectly black brows, as if silently asking are you telling me to cheat?

Damian only nodded, dribbling the ball he had been handed as the teams went back to the center.

Even with Jon tuning into his super senses to keep a better eye on the game, so to speak, they ended up tied at the end of fifteen minutes.

20-20

Both teams made swift scores, but it was clear Damian and Jon were carrying their team while the Paris team was well rounded with Marinette and Adrien just slightly advanced leaders that they took silent cues from.

Marinette was beaming widely as she breathed heavily, but wasn’t nearly as out of breath as her teammates. Adrien was so exhausted from his “illness” that he ended up sitting out the sudden death.

It was down to Marinette and Damian glaring each other down in adrenaline-fueled glee as the coach held the ball in one hand, counting down. At zero, he tossed the ball up and both secret vigilantes lunged.

Marinette jumped higher, managing to smack the ball first and get it into Alix’s grip. Their ball.

SHE AND Damian both races, following the skater as she ran towards the Gotham Team’s goal. Alix was blocked. Ivan was being covered by two of Damian’s teammates, Kim by another. Alix had no choice but to pass to Marinette, but Damian was able to pull forward at just the right time to snag the ball.

Marinette leaped backwards a good several feet, never taking her eyes off the emerald eyed teen. He put up a valiant defense, but Marinette managed to slap the ball away from him and dribbled it back to the right side of the court.

Only to stop dead. She was surrounded, the three point line was ahead of her, none of her teammates were free. If Adrian had been in play, maybe… Jon was closing in front her left, she had to move before he or Damian closed in on her.

So she took a deep breath, jumped straight up as high as she could go, and threw.

The ball swished through the net, and the students actually watching roared in surprised and impressed shouts of approval.

The Asian-French girl instantly got mobbed with hugs from her teammates, her head tilted back as she laughed in pure glee.

Bluebell met emerald.

Marinette winked. “Guess Paris is just better huh, Wayne?”

He would be lying if he said seeing her so breathlessly happy didn’t leave him similarly winded. Almost blinded by her brightness.

Yeah, he thought. You were pretty spot on back then. You must be my personal Angel. I don’t know what else you could possibly be.

—*—*—*—*—*

A Valkyrie, Damian decided. Marinette must be a Valkyrie. A warrior angel who chose the dead from a battlefield to be taken to Valhalla.

Why?

Because he was a Wayne, and as a Wayne he had several people (read: hundreds) who would like nothing better than to kidnap and ransom him to his father.

Like now. The Riddler had caught him, Jon, Marinette, Adrien, and several others as soon as school ended. He was the only real target, but Riddler never turned down extra bait. He wasn’t as tough on teenagers as he was adults, but that didn’t mean lives weren’t still on the line.

“Alright, kiddies. I’m a fair guy,” lies, “and I got a soft spot for kids. So, you can stay here obediently until Brucie boy up in his Tower sends me my money, or the Bats comes to his doom. Either way, you’ll be let out scott free afterwards. Or, you can leave,” he gestured towards the door in the lair they were in that proudly boasted a glowing red EXIT sign. “Any time you want,” he told them, smiling sinisterly. Because, of course, the only way to the exit was past a puzzle.

“In order to leave, you just have to possess at least two brain cells to rub together. I know, a hard feat nowadays to manage. To get to the exit, you have to find a way past the trick wall in front of you. Just fair warning, every wall is a trick wall so don’t try to pull any fancy tricks. Each brick is either safe, a deterrent, or a trick. And be careful, tricks can either give you a paper cut or a haircut a few inches too low to cut only hair, if you can understand my meaning. If you were smart, you’d just stay put.”

And Damian stared at his Soulmate, who didn’t even know he was right then, as she was the only one standing as the rest of them sat. Damian and Jon were seated because they knew Batman and co. Would be coming soon to bail them out, and neither boy could risk outing their identity. All of them had their wrists zip tied behind their backs, but that didn’t seem to stop Marinette from staying standing up defiantly and analyzing their surroundings.

“Are you gonna just stand there, or do something, little girl?” Riddler’s voice came back over the speakers. He wasn’t in the room with them, communicating over an intercom and attached TV screen. “Is your bravado all for show, or do you actually plan to escape?”

Marinette turned her glare to the live feed on the flat screen.

“I’m not the one hiding in a separate bunker, Riddler,” she retorted calmly. She was in a room with only Damian, Jon, a few of her friends, and walls of potentially dangerous traps. There were no gunmen this time. No immediate threats. Marinette could let a little Ladybug through this time.

Her hands twitched with an urge to punch something that was just being amplified by the ring around her neck.

Maybe a little Lady Noir could come through too, for a change.

Riddler twitched, and Damian could only stare as his soulmate stared down a Gotham rogue and even insulted him without hesitation or fear in her stance or face.

“Marinette!” Alix hissed, tugging at the girl’s uniform pants. “Get down! We’ll get out of here soon enough, don’t upset the supervillain!” She begged her friend. Marinette looked down at the pinkette, frowning.

“No, Alix! He isn’t even brave enough to fight his own battles, he lets puzzles and traps and hostages do his dirty work. I’m not about to sit down and let him treat me like I’m some helpless little kid. I stay quiet enough at school,” she hissed back softly, not about to back down this time. The bit about their class made Ivan and Kim flinch, along with Max and Juleka, who had also been taken. Adrien would have flinched, but the basketball game alone had drained him of all his recovering stamina for the day. This added stress was getting to him.

The blond, who had been eerily silent, started to cough. The pigtailed rebel of the group instantly turned to him, her face paper white as the model couldn’t seem to stop coughing. Specks of blood dipped out of his palms that were covering his mouth. and onto the ground.

“Shit,” Damian cursed. Jon wrapped an arm around the smaller boy, trying to get him to calm down and take deep breaths.

“There. Slow and steady,” Jon whispered to Adrien. “I knew you were sick, bud, but I didn’t think it was this bad. No worries though, we’ll get you checked out as soon as we get outta here,” he assured the fencer before looking up and locking eyes with Marinette. She nodded.

“Even more of a reason to get out as soon as possible instead of waiting around. Adrien needs a doctor. Max, is Markov..?”

The techie shook his head. “Back at the hotel, along with my better tech. My phone was taken.”

The pigtailed teen sighed, but wasn’t surprised. She reached up and took out the ribbons in her hair, tying them together and ignoring the unusual feel of her hair being loose behind her neck. It was usually something reserved for bedtime, but she wouldn’t be sleeping anytime soon.

“Alix, you have your roller blades on you, right?” The pinkette blinked in surprise before nodding, pulling the objects out of her bag.

“Yeah, why?”

Marinette didn’t answer, taking only one shoe and popping off two wheels. Alix made a face, but didn’t complain.

“Ivan, you carry around extra hair supplies for Mylene, right?” She held out a hand without waiting for an answer. “Could you give me some rubber bands?”

Holding her tied-together ribbons in her mouth, Marinette quickly tied the two rollerblade wheels together with the rubber bands, and tied her ribbons around the rubber bands to make them into a sort of axel. Makeshift yo-yo. She grinned, rolling the improvised weapon up and turning to the wall.

“What are you doing?” Damian asked slowly, standing to cover her back. Jon could watch the civilians just fine, he wasn’t leaving his soulmate without an extra pair of eyes just in case. Marinette was rapidly scanning the wall separating them from the exit.

“The wall is a puzzle, which means there has to be a pattern. All the bricks look pretty much the same, but we should be able to find the pattern without touching the wall if we look hard enough. We don’t have that kind of time though, so I’m going the old-fashioned trial-and-error way.”

“What?” Damian barked, but didn’t get in her way. “You can’t be that reckless—“

“I’m not going to touch the wall,” she interrupted, rolling her eyes. “This is,” she used that moment to swing her makeshift yo-yo at a brick above everyone’s heads. It pressed in, and nothing happened. It just slid back to make a step. Marinette grinned, rewinding her DIY tweaking and swinging it at the brick right next to the safe one, which swung away to reveal a muzzle that shot a stream of fire above everyone’s heads. “Predictable,” she muttered with a triumphant grin. “If I’m right, anyway. This could just be beginner’s luck.” She rewound and swung the ribbon-wheel-rubber band contraption a few more times, setting off only a few more traps. The solution printed itself in her mind.

Damian’s eyebrows raised, recognizing the pattern she was creating— or tracing— with her weighted whip. For a long moment, though only the other people in the room noticed, the two soulmates wore identical smug smirks.

“You got it,” Damian whispered, impressed and pleased before he surged forward. “Here, Get the lower ones. Your whip won’t reach the top of the wall, I’ll climb up and get those,” he offered, turning to make sure he had her approval. The girl’s face twisted into reluctance, clearly not wanting to put him in danger. The youngest Wayne put a hand on her shoulder, offering her a solid nod of reassurance. “I’ll be fine. I know the pattern now, and I have a fast reaction speed just in case. We also need someone to make sure there aren’t thugs waiting on the other side just in case, and I have a decent background in martial arts. Riddler doesn’t usually lie about his puzzles, but you can never be too careful with a Rogue.”

Marinette’s lips thinned again, but she nodded. A few thuds of her improvised weapon later, and Damian had the footholds necessary to climb up and press the bricks that were too high to reach.

The pattern made a question mark right in the center of the wall, but the top two rows of bricks before the empty space above the wall were all trick stones, meaning Damian had to carefully heave himself over and onto the platform waiting for them on top of the trapped obstacle. He took a quick look around before nodding to himself and looking down.

“All clear! Send Adrien up first,” he called, holding his arm down so he could help the Agreste heir when he got high enough. “Be careful not to press against these stones, you’ll set off a trap. When you pull yourselves over, keep your body straight and away from the wall,” the civilian-dressed vigilante instructed after they all successfully helped Adrien over onto the platform. Behind them, Riddler was suspiciously quiet and the TV didn’t turn back on.

They soon found out why. Only Marinette, Jon, and Max were still on the wrong side of the puzzle wall when a hidden door was kicked in and Batman stormed in alongside Red Robin. Both vigilantes froze at the sight of the unharmed teens already almost out. Marinette waved to them sheepishly, and Damian groaned.

“You mean there was a door there the whole time?” He groused, annoyed.

“It’s for the best,” Red Robin told him, shaking his head. “The riddler’s bunker was back there, and it’s a dead end unless you wanna squeeze through broken windows. Red Hood is tying him up right now, he’ll come out behind us. Though, we didn’t expect you all to already be almost out.”

Batman shot his grapple at the top of the wall, beckoning to Max and Marinette as Jon scrambled up the solved puzzle wall. “Let’s make this go by faster.”

Ten minutes later, and everyone was out. Red Hood manhandled Riddler away to the cops, and for the second time on their trip Marinette and her friends found school blankets settled over their shoulders.

“Well,” Max started, blinking. “I kinda expected worse, actually.”

Juleka nodded, tilting her head. “Yeah, that was kinda… tame…”

Marinette sighed, looking over at the two. “Of course,” she answered shortly, no longer patient with her classmates (no longer friends) now that they were all out of danger. “Riddler has a known soft spot for kids, and this was just a ransom scheme. Riddler’s actually been reforming for the past few years too, he most likely just had a relapse. None of his schemes for the past two years have been nearly as convoluted as beforehand and they are all months apart. Which you would know if you did my suggested research into Gotham’s rogues that I gave you before the trip,” she told them monotonously. She was done coddling them, they didn’t seem nearly as phased by this Riddler fiasco as they did by the failed robbery the week before. Then again, no guns or deaths were involved this time.

“That is correct, Miss Dupain-Cheng. Though I was hoping we wouldn’t see each other again so soon,” Batman spoke, approaching the group of teens as Hood and Red Robin explained things to the cops present. “But the puzzle was still something that should have taken at least an hour to solve. Good work doing it so quickly. And your improvisation is also impressive.”

Marinette blushed, looking down at the contraption she still hadn’t taken apart. “It’s nothing. I know the kinds of things my classmates always carry around, and I knew we needed something weighted to trigger the bricks, so…”

Batman grinned, a quick and very small thing that Marinette was sure she hallucinated. “Still, good work using your brain and keeping a cool head. You made our job easier. But let’s both try to keep any more excitement like this from happening on your trip.”

Marinette laughed, nodding. “I don’t know what I can do to help with that, but I’ll do my best anyway.”

—*—*—*—*—*

That night, after their daily spar, Robin braced his hands on his knees and panted. He was exhausted despite the fact that their bodies weren’t actually real in their mental world, and the physical strain was all simulated. Marinette had actually won, for the first time since they had begun the daily practice.

“Woo!” Marinette raised her fists in sloppy victory, just as out of breath as Robin. “I must be on a roll today! Lucky!”

“You’re Ladybug,” Robin suddenly blurted out. Normally he would have tensed at the slip, but for some reason the admission of his suspicion felt normal. Casual. Right. So he remained relaxed. Marinette went silent, looking over at him with a straight face for a long second before her lips slightly curled up at the corners.

“And you’re Damian, right?” She shot back, her voice soft and gentle. They looked into each other’s eyes as they continued to pant, both of their accusations in the open between them now.

Neither of them claimed to be innocent.

And that was okay. For some reason, neither of them minded that their identities had been found out. Maybe they had known for a few days, now. But they spent every night together, every sleeping hour in each other’s presence. They sparred. They gamed. Marinette was trying to teach him how to cook, and he was trying to teach her swordplay.

They knew each other pretty well, for only having met twelve days ago. And they had a lifetime to keep getting to know each other. This was just the next step. The next piece of knowledge to fill out the puzzle of who their soulmate was.

And it felt right to have it filled in, officially.

—*—*—*—*—*

[lookatthisdork]

Setting the stage, filling the supporting roles

Happy New Year! I’m starting off 2018 with yet another attempt at writing because while I thoroughly enjoy me a good reblog and comic panel shitpost, I do dabble in fanfic. Once again, this is intended for the Bruce and Clark are brothers AU.

Martha had originally toyed with the idea of forging the documents necessary for a convincing second pregnancy (prenatal checkups, sonograms, birth certificate, etc), but she'd known from the get-go that that wasn't a practical avenue to explore. While Dr. Wayne spent the bulk of his days toiling away in the OR of Gotham General, far from the view of even the most driven of paparazzi, Dr. Kane split her time between Wayne Industries' R&D labs and its board room; she had meetings with staff, meetings with shareholders, meetings with city contractors, and of course, meetings with the press. Then there the socialite events, the charity dinners, the planned photo-ops. Unless she specifically arranged for privacy, there were always at least three camera lenses and a microphone pointed her way.

Granted, she usually didn't mind being in the public eye - not nearly as much as Thomas minded, the poor man. But all the attention did make pretending to have hidden a second pregnancy for a full nine months...challenging at best.

There had also been the option of faking a surrogacy - she certainly had the money, means, and potential motivation to hire and provide for a surrogate - but Thomas had put his foot down. He was willing to indulge in the subterfuge necessary to safeguard a very-young child from less scrupulous authorities, but her husband was a law-abiding citizen at heart. Making up a fictional woman's entire life history - social security number, work history, medical records, proof of residency, credit reports and all - was well and truly out of his comfort zone.

Martha could respect that. She definitely could have made it work, but she had backed down all the same.

In the end, they'd decided to "find" Clark. It hadn't been terribly hard to stage - Thomas had signed himself up for a conference on emerging stem cell research in Philadelphia, and Martha used the opportunity to make a proper "vacation" out of it, renting a cottage at the Delaware Water Gap for herself and Bruce to stay at while Thomas was away.

Once there, Martha had muddied up a cheap baby-carrier, dressed Clark in a chain-store onesie and diaper, and "stumbled" upon him on a walk through the woods. One 911 call later, the cottage was hosting multiple local police, FBI, and social workers with no one being any the wiser.

Finding an abandoned infant within the confines of a national park had turned into a media circus, of course. They'd had to hire extra security for both the manor and Wayne Industries in the short-term, lest they be completely overrun. Still, it was the easily-controllable media circus of an innocent mother-of-one and her toddler finding a child in need. Eventually everything died down when no leads were found. Predictably, no one came forward to claim Clark, and no one batted an eye when the Waynes applied for emergency custody.

Now, it was simply a matter of time until the "emergency" part of the deal passed and they could draw up more permanent custody papers. Martha figured three, maybe four months would have to pass until she could start vigorously pursuing that. Until then, there were plenty of other things to attend to. Setting up a second nursery, buying (yet more) baby clothes, sorting through Bruce's hand-me-downs, setting up trust funds, updating hers and Thomas's wills.

And the press. No one expected much news out of a four-month old (or the alien equivalent). Still, sculpting public opinion early was was just common sense. Thomas's family may enjoy Gotham's good will to a greater extent than her family did, but people could always be counted on to be fickle. Power - the ability to change things, for better or worse - fell to those with money and those with influence.

Between the two of them, Martha and Thomas had plenty of money and plenty of influence. And if Martha had anything to say about it, Bruce and Clark would be better off than the two of them.

(Especially Clark. She didn't like to dwell on the consequences of someone who couldn't be bribed or blackmailed discovering Clark's history. Better to make that potential pool of people as small as possible.)

Given that a three-year old and a newly-acquired baby would have to be involved in her PR event, Martha had gone with a family photoshoot. Firstly, it would demonstrate to anyone watching - authorities included - that she was wholly committed to involving Clark in Wayne events, same as Bruce. Secondly, it would give celebrity gossip rags something (ultimately insubstantial) to chew on, hopefully dissuading people form trying to sneak photos of the kids without permission. Thirdly, and most importantly, Martha wanted baby pictures and a photoshoot gave her an excuse to dress Thomas and the babies in matching outfits.

(Just because the photos would serve a practical purpose, didn't mean she couldn't enjoy the end result.)

"Marty, exactly how many costume changes are we planning?" Thomas asks, looking at the portable clothes racks next to the shoot as if they were about to bite him.

"Oh, about five or so," she says as she plucks the last of Bruce's next outfit from one of the racks. "Less, if Clark kicks up a fuss." From another rack, she grabs Clark's suit and lays it over her husband's arm.

Thomas, demonstrating just how much he loves dressing up, openly grimaces. Still, he heads over to the side-room where Alfred is giving Clark his bottle without comment.

Martha shakes her head a bit before turning to Bruce. The next series of photos is set to look like they're on a yacht; Bruce and Clark get matching blue-and-yellow sailor suits, Thomas gets the classic navy blue blazer with white pants, and Martha is already dressed in a white sundress with yellow embroidery at the hem.

It's easy enough to hold Bruce still long enough to finish tying his ascot; even when he's bored, her little boy is a fairly low-energy toddler. Prone to wandering away if left alone for any length of time, sure - he'd given a one-time babysitter a near-heart attack after he'd walked away and fallen asleep in an infrequently-used linen closet. But generally speaking, as long as you were paying attention, Bruce was perfectly content to stay put.

"Mommy," Bruce says, bouncing ever so slightly in his patent leather shoes. "I wanna hold Clark this time."

"He's a bit big for you, sweetheart," she says back. She straightens his shirt one last time, then leads him over to the seating set up in front of a drop of Gotham harbor.

The photographer, Jeanine (a consummate professional and regular hire for Wayne functions), takes the opportunity to discreetly adjust the lighting. Bruce spares her a glance before looking back. "I can hold him," he says. "Daddy said I could."

Martha hums a bit, tucking some errant hair behind his ear. "When did Daddy say this?"

"At dinner."

"That was yesterday, Bruce. Not today."

The expression on Bruce's face is a small copy of his father's scowl; it's hard not to find it cute. "But I wanna hold him today!" he exclaims.

"Indoor voice, Bruce." She's careful to keep her voice even, patient, but firm. It's the same tone she used on her brothers when she has to talk them down from an ill-fated decision. "You can hold him when the photographer leaves - if you behave - but not before."

She has to swallow a sigh at the way Bruce's pout deepens. Its easier to talk down her now-grown brothers than it is her small son, unsurprisingly, and Bruce has been more prone to tantrums ever since they'd brought Clark home. Alfred and Leslie assure her that it's all part of the acclimatization process - that Bruce will mellow out as the novelty of having a new baby in the house wears off. Martha certainly hopes they're right.

The two of them have a bit of a stare-off while Bruce decides whether or not he's going to start shouting. Fortunately, Thomas takes that moment to walk back in, Clark held up and away from his chest. "He spit up on his vest," he says by way of explanation. And yes, Clark has, in fact, dribbled drool and old milk all down his front - though he doesn't look any worse for wear, gurgling contentedly in his father's arms.

Bruce next to her lets out a loud "Ewwwww!", twisting so that her arm and some of her bulk is between him and the baby - clearly, his previous ire has been forgotten in lieu of avoiding getting any puke on him. Thomas, meanwhile, isn't quite smiling, but he does sound a touch too gleeful about this discovery. After all, they can't take pictures of Clark in a ruined vest, and one of the key points of this venture was to get pictures of the four of them. Ergo, baby puke means less time that Thomas has to spend in front of the camera.

"That's okay, Mr. Wayne," Jeanine pipes up from where's she's finished checking the last of the extra floodlights. "I brought two sets of everything for the boys, just in case."

"Oh...good. Thank you." Martha has to bite back giggles at her husband's expression as he goes to get Vest #2. Poor man, he thought he'd dodged a bullet there.

Turning back to her still-hiding son, Martha grins. "So Bruce, do you still want to hold your brother?"

"No!" he shrieks, curling further behind her. Ah, the fickleness of youth - and here he'd been not even a minute earlier, getting ready to throw a fit over Clark.

"It's only a little spit-up," Martha teases.

"Nooooo! Gross! Don't wanna!"

"Well then, I guess we'll just have to let Daddy hold Clark." She pulls Bruce into her lap, resting her chin on the top of his head. He struggles a moment to stay behind her before surrendering to her hold with a quiet huff. "Thomas," she calls across the room. "Quit stalling. You're not going to get out of this any faster."

"I wasn't stalling," he says as he comes back over and sits to her right. Clark, once in range, makes a grab for Bruce's sleeve, which Bruce dodges. ("Eww, Clark, no!") "I was just straightening out his vest. His new vest. Because Jeanine has two of everything."

"Of course, dear." She just smiles at the adult version of Bruce's pout. "Remember, smile for the camera. We still have four more shoots to go."

You should all be aware of the fact that in an earlier draft of this, Martha did fake the hired-a-surrogate-for-Clark thing. Ultimately, I decided that was unnecessarily convoluted, but Martha definitely could have pulled it off. Bruce has to get his sense of Drama from somewhere.

[timebuzzer]

Love Channels Chapter 12.6: Continued…

"Best Morning After?"

Jamie’s POV

Last night was not planned, it didn’t even cross my mind that I will be staying overnight at his apartment. Such intimacies aren’t really and it comes to you the least time you hoped or thought it could - which can be golden, for the lack of a better word. And in our case, it was.

I didn’t know waking up next to him after what we shared last night would be this blissful. I’d admit I’ve been holding back the few times we almost crossed this line because I have to be sure that it’s not just something to do in this relationship rather it’s something that we both would feel it’s right to share.

I don’t want it to just happen because it’s like a responsibility but want it because it’s what we are ready to experience.

When I looked at him last night while we were on the couch, I realized how he is always patient, waiting, and respectful. The depth of love he has for me, I won’t question. I thought, could I love him even more?

I know I could and I would. It’s scary but as long as we’re both in this adventure together, I know we’ll be safe.

Sean took care of me last night, in all aspects. I couldn't be more thankful for that version of him. I know how hard it has been for him the times we had to put a break on what we were doing. I had a hard time, what more in his case.

He was gentle. I realized that whenever I whimpered he would suppress them with his kisses and I laugh at the thought. He made sure he doesn’t pick up the speed because it would end too soon. I guess he waited this long to get the long foreplay over to just end it in a few seconds.

It was the best sensation I have felt and I am happy that it’s with him, I know it was for him too. This was beyond lust or the sexual pleasure we are all inclined to.

We cuddled for the longest time and I didn't realize I fell asleep with his caresses and the sound of his voice until I felt him get out of bed. Or was he getting back to bed? I’m not sure.

“I’m sorry, didn't mean to wake you.”

He had his boxers on already and I can see him clearly. I know he’s toned but those pecs and abs are giving me different ideas.

I propped myself up and answered him back, “It’s okay, I’m sorry I fell asleep. I’m going to shower.”

I still have my bag with me because I came straight here after visiting my family.

“Okay, I’ll get you fresh towels.”

Waiting for the right water temperature, I heard him knock on the door and said that he has towels with him. I didn’t lock it because he’s the only one outside so I told him to leave it on the counter. I’m wearing his oversized t-shirt still when he gave me a look I know all too well.

This is the other end of that spectrum I mentioned earlier, which of course is human nature and I won’t be denying that aspect as well. I’m not that prude like what my cousin Rada said. Let’s just say the water got a little hotter and the shower got even steamier.

I’ve been staring at him for a few minutes and I don’t know how we’d react to each other when he wakes up. I am happy to see his face like this in the morning though.

“Hmm, I know you’re awake and staring. I can hear your brain cogs turning with all the thinking you’re doing. Stop it.” He said with a cute small smile on his handsome face, eyes still closed.

He came closer for a cuddle and whispered, “I love you, good morning.” Then kissed my neck right after.

Why do you sound like that in the morning? I still have not recovered from all the emotions among other things I went through last night and you’re sounding a little, ya know, inviting, well, enticing. That’s just my mind having a conversation with itself. 

“Uuhhmm… Good morning. I love you, too.” I hugged him back. We’ve been throwing I love yous since last night. 

He chuckled. 

“Are you feeling okay?” He’s now looking at me with the softest eyes and I’m getting embarrassed.

“I am…” 

“Thank you.” He said with a contented sigh.

“What for?”

“For you. Thank you….for you.” 

Could you be anymore sweeter? Again, my head is responding but I cannot say it out loud. I should give this brain a microphone so that Sean can hear these thoughts. But there’s an unspoken understanding of what he meant by what he said. 

“Uuhh.. Happy Happy Birthday… in advance?” 

He’s shaking with laughter and trying to catch his breath after he heard what I said.

“Baby, if that’s the birthday present I would always get in advance, I’d wish that it’s my birthday every single day.” 

I covered his mouth with my hand, that sounded too suggestive in the morning. He propped himself up to try to get a better look at me and I started teasing him by covering my face with my hands. 

“Heeeeey, come on, get your hands off your face, I want to see you.”

“Nooooo! You can’t. It’s my morning bare face! I’m going to the bathroom!”

He held me in place, never letting me get out of bed.

“Oh, I’ve seen that before and I’ve seen more. No need to hide. Come here.”

If this continues, we’re probably not going to get out of this bed for a while. But I am hungry. For food. Not anything else but food.

“I’m hungry, get up please. I’ll make you breakfast.” I’m trying to drag him out of bed but he’s not moving.

“Stay in bed.” That’s all he responded.

“You can stay in bed, but I’ll prepare breakfast. I need to get up. I’m really hungry, I can hear my stomach growling.”

He grunted. As if he had no choice, he got up with a pout on his lips and followed me out to the kitchen.

[theitalianscribe]

Pirate Play

Hey, before I get into the fic, I want you to know that even if you think no one cares, someone does care. You do matter and no matter who you are, you are amazing and your existence is 100% worth it. And if any of you are feeling down, go ahead and leave me an ask or message me. I’m down to talk and have a plethora of cat photos that I will share without shame if that makes you smile. Now, on to whatever this is.

"En guarde, you scurvy dog," Michael squawked at Jake

"The only one who should be on guard is you-guarding against the tip of my blade!" Jake shouted back.

Christine coughed. "Er, Aye mean...ye should prepare fer a fate at the tip 'o my saber!"

In his peripheral vision, Michael could see Christine make a face. Deliberating, then deciding to roll with it.

"Captain, Aye'll handle this scally-wag! Rescue thee thine sweet prince!" Christine swung her arm out and cut into the fight with a weapon of her own.

Thing was, they didn't have blades. All Jeremy and Michael could find in their garages were a collection of plastic light sabers bought at chain stores and rainbow-colored carnival knock-offs. Jeremy swore that he had some toy swords somewhere, but the few they could locate were either too small to hold, too realistic for their impressionable audience, or too flimsy to do any form of fighting with. But, hey, the group of tiny cousins at Christine's Fourth of July barbecue were not too picky and one of them even happened to be wearing a Star Wars shirt and huge smile.

Back to the scene at hand.

Christine joined the fight and Michael slipped out. He pretended to scan the deck of the "ship" (The grassy part of the Canigula front lawn) for the dashing damsel in distress.

"Oh, Captain, My Captain!" A overly-dramaticized (yet lacking in more laughter than the rest of their friends sans Christine) cried from behind him. Michael spun around (and smiled inwardly at the swoosh of his hoodie tied around his neck like a cape) and faced the tree. Tied snugly (loosely) around it with a gnarly rope (plastic Hello Kitty jump rope) was Lord Jeremiah the First of the Heere district in all his princely glory.

"Never fear, my sweet prince," Michael declared with all the gusto he could fake as he lept to the tree, "I swore by my blade that I would protect you," Michael shoved his lightsaber in the knot of the jump rope and by some miracle it loosened the knot rather than collapse into itself. He tugged the rope loose the rest of the way and pulled Jeremy out of the "bindings."

He stole a moment to tug Jeremy close. He could smell the root beer (the Pepsi-rejecting heathen) and Cheetos on his breath. Staring directly into Jeremy's eyes, Michael added, "And that is a promise I never intend to break for as long as I live."

Michael doesn't remember if Christine had told Jeremy to say anything at this point when they had a quick planning session, but regardless, Jeremy was a speechless mess pictured in a deep hue of red.

"Not if I can help it!" A voice called behind him.

In an act that Michael wishes he could claim was expertly practiced reflection and not him getting jolted at the snap out of whatever temporary world had been built around the two, there was a thwack and grunt followed by a lispy hiss. (Part of him made a mental note to apologise to and fetch ice for his friend after this was over, but at the moment, he was just a bit spiteful for how he'd shattered whatever moment was happening.)

Rich dropped to the ground-simultaneously avoiding Michael's swinging strike and grabbing the saber he'd apparently dropped. Since Michael had taken a few Kendo classes with Jeremy after one feverish Star Wars binge, Michael actually had some training and the fight consisted mainly of Rich swinging haphazardly, Michael blocking, cries of "Hiya!" and a few points where Michael let Rich get a few hits in. He had to be careful to control his force. He and Jeremy knew the force the lightsabers could take, how much they stung, and what it felt like to accidentally shatter them in a too-eager swing. Nonetheless, after exchanging a few blows, Michael knocked the lightsaber out of his opponent’s hand and (gently) pushed him to the ground.

“Ye were sayin’?” Michael teased. He hovered the plastic green blade over the downed boy’s chest.

“Guess aye couldn’t help it,” Rich drawled with a dry laugh. There was a cacophony of squeaky gasps and cries. Apparently, Rich was a crowd favorite. “Please be gentle.”

Rich and Michael both had to fight back laughs. Serious, boys, keep it serious.

Michael reached into a felt pouch tied around one of his belt loops and held up a power sphere. (Really, it was a large marble from Christine’s old collection. They were going to be very careful about keeping these particular props out of her cousin's’ hands.)

Slowly, Michael pressed the marble to Rich’s forehead and yelled, “Sleep!”

After some dramatic cries about seeing light and slipping away, Rich fluttered his eyes closed. His last words were, “I shall awake in the sequel, mark my words!”

“Behind you!” Jeremy cried. Rather than swing at Jenna, Michael sidestepped her and let her charge past. He knew she would be back, but he spent the time she took recovering to toss Rich’s lightsaber to Jeremy. Just in time, it would seem, for Chloe jumped at the prince a breath after he extended the blade. Soon, Brooke joined in flanking the boys and it was three on two.

The next minutes were spent with the five teens fighting and exchanging banter (while bad at memorization, Chloe was actually pretty good with improving, especially when it came to trash talking. Apparently, Captain Michael had stolen her chance at a happy life when he threw her clan into poverty and Brooke had only recently pulled her out of a dark spell.) The battle concluded with Jeremy getting hit with a dazing spell, Chloe falling off the “ship,” Brooke jumping after her, and Jenna revealing that she had been an undercover protector of the prince and deemed the captain worthy. Meanwhile, Christine and Jake’s duel (from what Michael heard and saw of it later) was a rather balanced battle of quick tongues and even quicker blades. Then again, the two did take fencing class together over on weekends. (Ever since she went to that on renaissance fair, an interest in the sport had ignited and she had easily convinced Jake to return to the lessons. Michael suspected that she would try to drag Michael and Jeremy into fencing later today, now that she had seen their rusty sword skills.)

“Ye’ve no where to go, Captain Jake Robbin!” Michael struck a pose and threw his voice to catch his attention.  The jerk managed to continue to hold his own against Christine while still giving Michael a questioning glance.

“We're at the sea du-er...Mate! I can go wherever I want.”

“But it's not a matter of where you want, but what. Or, rather, who you want. Is it not?” Jeremy asked. Each word was carefully delivered and he held himself with the facade of confidence his continued time in the Drama club had helped him built. Michael (and from her grin, Christine) felt a glow of pride at the boy. “You came for me.” He took a shaky breath. “Well, Heere I am,” (half of Michael wanted to snort at the pun while the other half wanted to grab his stupid self-sacrificial butt and hold him tightly.) “If you promise to call off any attacks and retreat, I'll go with you. I'll lead you where you want to go,” He let his voice break as he added, “and I won't fight back.”

“Hold your heart, Fair Prince.” Michael put on the mock-offended face reserved for when Jeremy dissed his favorite game or questioned his extensive knowledge of 90’s pop culture. “You are in company more than capable of protecting you.” He then turned to Jake. “Capturing my prince is more than enough reason for me to know just what fate to sentence you to.”

Whoops. Was that too protective? Jake actually looked taken aback for a moment.

“Wait,” He cried. “Wait. Wait wait wait wait.” He took a step away from Christine and held up his hands in defense. “I don't want your prince. Taking him hostage wasn't even my plan.”

“Firstly, it's bad etiquette as a captain to not take responsibility for your crew’s actions.”

“They weren't really my crew,”

“Hey!” Michael cried at being interrupted. The crowd if children giggled.  “What, then, was yer plan?”

Before Jake could think of what to say, one of the adults walked up to Christine and put a hand on her shoulder.

“Sorry to cut this short, but Lunch is ready.”

“Aww!” one of the cousins whined, “Five more minutes, please?”

“Food? Yes! I'm starving!” Jake positioned himself to book it for the backyard, but he was met with the puppy-dog pouts of Christine, Jeremy, and several dozen children. “Ah, nooooo!” Jake deadpanned and clutched his right arm. “Aye’ve been had! Those scratches must’a cut deeper than aye thought! You’ve bested me, fair lass,” Jake began to back away until he was standing on top of the short cement barrier. Below was a lazily-sloping grassy hill and an unamused Chloe creeping to stand ready. “Goodbye, cruel world,” Jake cried in as cheesy a voice as he could. “Tell my story of how awesome I was!”

With that, Jake Dillinger, master of falling with little regard to physics (like, seriously? Where was his center of gravity and how did the boy manage to rock that much before falling?) took a trust fall right into Chloe’s arms.

“Thanks,” He grunted to the girl

“If you make a joke about falling for me, I will drop you,” She hissed. “I will drop you and will laugh in your face.”

“Huzzah!” Christine held up her lightsaber and cheered. “We have thwarted the enemy crew and love has conquered evil!”

“Or something like that,” the ghost of pirate Rich muttered.

“Now be hearty, mateys and valliant adventures,” Jeremy added, “And enjoy the hotdogs and hamburgers. Thank you.” He flourished the statement with a grandiose bow-one which Michael could see him rise from with a reddened face and that had Christine give some cross between a curtsey and bow.

Christine rushed forward, gestured to Michael to take a bow, then joined hands with him. Jeremy grasped Michael’s other hand and called Rich over. The rest of the teens (sans Jake who had slipped away to get an early spot in the line for lunch) joined in the bow.

“So,” Rich asked when everyone began to disperse, “Food?”

“Let’s go!” Brooke cheered.

Chloe and Jenna retrieved the cameras they had propped up and Jenna exchanged contact information with one parent who had been recording the hastily thrown together performance. They were rambling about how this was going straight to Facebook, YouTube, and other social media platforms. After a glance at the blanching Michael and Jeremy, Jenna amended that they would only share clips and photos and the youtube video would be unlisted.

“Just for parents and us to enjoy!” She reasoned.

“Or like a Broadway recording for archival purposes?” Christine called.

Christine had started collecting props. Some lightsabers thrown here and there, a few nerf guns and darts, and one plastic box of various coins and costume jewelry that ended up not getting used. Michael and Jeremy quickly joined in, as well as handed her the pouches of marbles.

“Shame the captain and his prince never got that Hollywood kiss,” She crooned after a while.

“Yeah,” Jeremy agreed, “And I think promises like the one you made are best sealed with a kiss.” The air of confidence from performance was still fresh enough in the boy that he didn’t mumble or backtrack.

“Ah, but, my sweet prince,” Michael teased, “Don’t you feel tender kisses are best shared in private?”

“Are you saying you don’t want the world to know of your love?” Christine asked.

“Nonsense! You wound me, loyal sister!” Michael thrust a hand over his heart. “I would steal the stars from the sky so the would could see how brightly my prince shines! I would steal a thousand kisses! I would line each peck with the dozens of ways he makes my world! I would…” There was movement in the corner of his eye. “I would travel across the seas and back to get him, even when he tries to SNEAK AWAY FROM THE ATTENTION!”

Jeremy froze in his steps and was tackled by Michael. The punishment for escaping was a trail of kisses from the hair on the back of Jeremy’s head to his neck, to the lips he spun around to catch. Jeremy stared up at him and the deer-in-headlights look melted into fondness at his adorkable mate. And in that moment, the world faded away. They were back to the moment of a captain seeing his prince safe in his arms after being kidnapped and mocked and who knew what else. A warm summer breeze blew past but all they could feel was one another relax into the embrace. The world blooming around them was just the two of them and it was growing smaller yet more precious the more they closed the distance between their faces. Suddenly, there was nothing. And everything. Warmth and fast hearts and happiness and anxiety. The world was spinning and still and dazzling.

Then there was an artificial click and cry of “Oops!”

“Were you recording that?” Christine asked in mock-shock. “Shame on you two.”

There was a whisper of, “Send it to me and send it to them.”

And the world began to flood back in. But it was okay, because even as they went from parting their lips to slipping out of the hug to clutching each other’s hands, they were still there. They were still close.

“So,” Jeremy asked as they made their way to the backyard, “How did you like the pirate play?”

Christine gave them a thumbs up as she rushed past them and into her garage.

“Not gonna lie, Dude; it was kinda gay.”

Jeremy chuckled. It was the adorable chuckle where he snorted a little.

“Were kinda gay,” Jeremy countered when he finally won the battle against the giggles.

“Right you are, My Prince. Right you are.”

The world around them was loud and filled with squealing children, gossiping adults, and nosy friends. And yet, that was okay. He was okay with the world. Especially when his world was currently clinging to his arm and drooling at aroma wafting through the yard. Especially when his world was safely and happily at his side.

[sldlovescartoons]

Struck Twice

Author’s Note:

Alright! So just a little trigger warning, there is some graphic description of burns in here, but it’s really brief. I just thought I should warn you. Alright, carry on.

After realizing that Zack was having a little freak out, Melissa and Milo turned their bikes around to go calm him down.  Milo pulled a paper bag out of his backpack for Zack to hyperventilate into, and after a few minutes they were on their own way home, or at least to Milo’s house; because Lard World was so far away, everyone’s parents agreed that they it was okay for them to go by themselves if they didn’t each try to go home alone in the dark, hence the sleepover that they were going to be having. By the time that they had biked up to their neighborhood, the sun had started to set, so it was probably a good call.

“Hey, kids, did you have a good time at Lard World?” Mrs. Murphy asked as they kids came in from the garage.

“Yes, mam.” Melissa and Zack chimed.

“Thanks for letting us go on our own, Mom.” Milo said as he pried the crazed raccoon off the legs of his shorts and let it out a window. (It’s a long story, don’t ask)

“It was no problem, you all are plenty responsible and you made a good a case for yourselves.” Yeah, there was a lot of begging involved in getting this trip planned. “I made some snacks for you, if you want some.”

“What you got?” Zack asked, peaking over at the counter. Perched there was a plate of tasty looking smores. “Cool, smores.”

“Thanks, Mom, can we take these up to my room?” Milo asked as he grabbed the plate of treats, looking up at his mother with what could only be described as a doe-eyed look.

“Sure, just so long as you bring the plate back.” All the kids grinned before dashing away and up the stairs. “No running!”

…Just a few minutes later…

“I still can’t believe you convinced your dad to let you stay the night here.” Zack said as he swallowed a bit of smore.

“Zack, I’ve stayed the night here plenty of times.” Melissa rolled her eyes. “I even stayed the night here with you a month or two back for that Dr. Zone marathon.”

“Yeah, and I surprised that he let you do it then too. Your dad is really protective.”

“Yeah, well, Dad trusts me.” Melissa crossed her arms with a look of confidence that was immediately squished by the dual looks of disbelief. “Plus, he has Milo’s dad give the place a full inspection each time I’m going to stay the night.”

“Well that’s silly, Dad inspects the house every week.” Milo snorted, waving a hand at the idea that his house was anything safe.

“Speaking of your dad, should we call and warn him about the raccoon you let out in the backyard?” Melissa asked, arching her head like she was going to try to look out the window. Just as she said, as if by magic, but more likely by Murphy’s law, there was a crash and shout downstairs.

“I think he knows.” Milo frowned, pressing his lips together as shouts from his father to get the raccoon repellent were heard through the floor. Opps.

“Well, that happened…” Zack sighed, before looking to the side like he was think of something. “So, have you really been struck by lightning twice? And on your birthday both times?”

“Yeah, and I’ve got some really cool scars from it to, want to see?” Milo grinned, already lifting the hem of his shirt, just a little too eager to show off his old wounds, before Melissa stopped him.

“Woah, Milo, keep your shirt on.” She said as she grabbed his hands and put them at his sides. “Maybe we can just tell him about what happened.”

“Yeah, it seems like a neat story… or two stories, technically.” Zack leaned back, preparing himself mentally for what he was about to here.

“Alright, then-“ Melissa started before Zack interrupted.

“Wait, you’re telling the story?”

“Do you really want Milo overexplaining what it felt like to be struck by lightning?” Melissa asked flatly, with an equally as flat look on her face.

“No.”

“Alright, then, the first time was when we were six, or when Milo turning seven, I guess…” Melissa started, wiggling her fingers around to signal the ripple effect.

“Hello, Mr. Chase, thanks for bringing Melissa over. Milo hasn’t had anybody over for a birthday in two years.” Mr. Murphy greeted as he opened the door.

“Do I want to know why?”

“No.” Martin sighed before looking down at Melissa, who was grinning up at him. 

“Hey, Melissa, you ready to have some fun? Milo is really excited to have you over.”

“Yes, sir.” Melissa nodded, then she quickly dashed past his legs into the house.

“Hey, Melissa, Milo is getting ready in his bedroom.” Sara said as Melissa ran by her in the living room.

“Thanks.” She smiled, giving her a wave before climbing up the stairs like some sort of precious orange monkey, because it’s somehow faster than just running up them. “Milo!” Melissa shouted as she approached his room. Milo popped out of his room, wearing a pair of bright purple swim shorts and an off-white t-shirt.

“Melissa, where’s your bathing suit? “Milo asked, looking at her dress, puzzled.

“Under my clothes, silly. Are you ready to play?” She asked as they headed back towards the stairs. “Oh, and happy birthday, how does it feel to be seven now? Is it awesome? I bet it’s awesome.”

“It’s fine, I guess.” Milo shrugged before brightening up. “Mom set up a slip’n’slide and sprinklers… but, uh,” Milo frowned. “just so you know, the stuff is probably going to break. Also, we can’t have those hotdogs I promised. The grill still hasn’t re-entered the atmospe- atmosphere since it entered orbit this summer, and the oven exploded yesterday and the repair man can’t be here until tomorrow.”

“That’s okay, we got chips and stuff, right? Plus, I brought movies for us to watch after the hose pops.” Melissa smiled, patting her backpack.

“Awesome.” Milo grinned as they finished walking down the stairs and the both made a dash for the backyard.

Luckily enough it seemed to be a light day for Murphy’s Law, Milo had only fallen over a few times, a tree branch fell off the tree but it missed the two children entirely, and the sprinklers only got jammed three times; so Milo and Melissa just got to have fun for a while. They played sprinkler tag, which had then dissolved into just regular tag, and had a contest to see who could slide down the slip-n-slide fastest. It was one of best birthdays Milo had so far, especially considering last year’s birthday festivities had ended with a small asteroid crashing into their backyard and making the back wall of their house collapse. But after around an hour and a half, Melissa started to get bored. She looked up in the sky and saw some scary looking clouds.

“Hey, Milo, can we go inside and watch movies now?” Melissa asked, absentmindedly using her toes to plugs some of the sprinklers holes. “It looks like it’s going to rain.”

“Sure, can I just do the slip-n-slide a few more times?” He asked, pointing towards the object in question.

“Okay, I’m going to go inside.” Melissa smiled, trotting into the house. After getting dressed and going back into the living room, she suddenly heard the sound thunder and a shout.

“And that’s what happened the first time.” Melissa smiled as she finished the story.

“Wait, what happened after that?” Zack asked, eyes wide. “You can’t just give me all the that backstory and then just stop at the climax!”

“Oh, fine, Mister Picky.”

Melissa, Sara, and Mr. and Mrs. Murphy ran out into the backyard at the sound of the scream. Milo’s blood curdling screams could be heard throughout the house and probably the next few houses over. When Melissa arrived in the backyard, Milo’s family had already gathered around him. He was writhing around on ground, letting out pain shouts as his face screwed up in pain, desperate not to let his upper back touch the ground. Melissa felt panic swell up in her tiny chest. She had never heard Milo scream like that before, whenever he got a scrap or a cut he might yelp at the most. How badly was he hurt?

“What happened?” Melissa asked, running up to the group just as Mr. Murphy picked up Milo.

“Milo was struck by lightning, we’ve got to go to the hospital.” He gasped, running out the back gate towards the car.

“Come on, sweetie, we’ve got to hurry.” Mrs. Murphy said, grabbing her and Sara’s hands and dragging them off quickly after her husband. They quickly climbed in the car and Milo was laid down between Sara and Melissa in the middle seat, his head on Sara’s lap and his feet on Melissa’s. 

“Shouldn’t we call an ambulance?” Melissa squeaked as Mr. Murphy torn out of the drive way. She was scared, Milo was still crying and squirming, his dad was speeding down the street- her heart was beating so hard she could feel it in her teeth.

“I can get there faster.” 

Melissa nodded before looking over at Milo. His sister was stroking his head and whispering comforting words to him. Suddenly, Milo turned onto his side to get the pressure of is back and Melissa saw it. The back of his shirt was in tatters from the lightning strike, burnt around the edges, revealing the terrible result of the strike. Milo had deep burns branching across his back like roots, in some parts they were so deep that you could see the fatty layer of the skin. The area around the deeper burns were an angry red and already blistering. It was disgusting, there was some char around the edges- the smell-

“Melissa, don’t look at them.” Sara said, jarring her out of the trance she hadn’t realized she had been in.

“Right.” Melissa gulped before joining Sara in trying to comfort Milo.

By the time they got to the hospital the car was missing two hubcaps and had a considerable dent in the front, but they got there in one piece. Milo was rushed off, and the Murphys and Melissa were sentenced to the waiting room while Milo was being treated.

“I better call your father to come get you, I’m sorry this happened. I hope you and Milo had a good time.” Mr. Murphy said, taking out his phone, only for Melissa to whine and try to smack it out of his hands.

“Nooooo! Don’t call Daddy, I want to see what happens to Milo.” Melissa wailed, yanking on his sleeve. “I wanna make sure he is okay.”

“Melissa…”

“Pllleeeaaassseee. If you send me home, I’ll be worried about Milo, and then I’ll cry. I’ll cry all night and worry about Milo.” Melissa argued, still tugging on the sleeve.

“Alright, but I at least need to tell him where you at, alright?”

“Alright.”

It only took thirty minutes, but Milo’s doctor came out and explained that yes, Milo was struck by lightning, but luckily it was a glancing blow, so to speak, so there wasn’t any internal damage, only some intense third and second degree burns on his back. It would take a while, but it’d heal up. He also had some electrolyte imbalances that they were treating with meds. They were given permission to see Milo and off they went. They couldn’t get there faster, they were all incredibly worried about Milo, this was the big accident to happen in awhile, certainty the first major one to happen with Melissa around. As such, Melissa was rushing ahead of them to Milo’s room on her short, little legs. When Melissa opened the door to Milo’s room, she saw him lying in bed on his side, sort of pale and had a few IVs in his arm, his eyes were closed.

“Daddy, they’ve given me a bunch of medicine this time.” Milo said, having heard people enter the room, but when he opened his eyes he saw Melissa walking towards him, his family lagging behind. “Melissa?”

“Hey, Milo, are you okay?” Melissa smiled, walking up to his bed.

“I’m okay… My face is itchy from medicine.” Milo said, smiling a little, before frowning and looking down at his cot. “You’ve come to say goodbye, haven’t you?”

“What?” She asked, confused, but behind her Milo’s parents and sister were cringing, knowing exactly what he meant.

“You came to say goodbye, that you think I’m really nice, but you can’t play with me anymore, because I’m dangerous. You don’t want to be struck by lightning, or fall out trees, or get attacked by wild animals. It’s not you, it’s me.” Milo mumbled, closing his eyes. “It’s okay, I understand.” It wasn’t okay, but he did understand. Things were quiet for second.

*thwump*

“Ow! Why!?” Milo whined, rubbing that Melissa had thumped him.

“Don’t say stupid stuff like that.” Melissa scolded before smiling at him. “Of course, I still want to be your friend, you goose. You’re the bestest friend I’ve ever had.”

“Really?” Milo smiled, eyes twinkling at the idea.

“Really really.” Melissa said, ruffling his hair with a grin.

“We should watch Shrek when I get out of the hospital.” Milo suggested with a big, doofy grin and Melissa laughed.

“Awwwhhhh.” Zack said, clasping his hands in front of his chest, his tone joking. “That was so sweet.”

“We were little kids, we didn’t have any sense of mushiness.” Melissa rolled her eyes.

“Did you really think that Melissa was going to abandon you like that?”

“Well, it had happened a few times before.” Milo looked up the ceiling, doing the math in his head. “There was four times when I was three, two times when I was four, two times when I was five, and three times when I was six, then I met Melissa.”

“After that he mostly hung around me, but it still happened six more times.” Melissa shrugged a shoulder. “I normally set them straight, though, so they don’t treat Milo bad.”

“What, really?”

“Yeah, you know that kid Tommy?”

“The one who’s afraid of you?” Zack asked and Melissa gave a nod. “Oh… Ohhhhh.”

“I tell Melissa she doesn’t have to, but she never listens.” Milo said, giving Melissa a slightly sassy look, earning him a punch in the shoulder.

“Just because you don’t want to confront your bullies doesn’t mean I can’t do it for you.”

“But did you have to make him cry like tha-“

“Alright, why don’t we just move on to the story about the second lightning strike?” Zack laughed, doing awkward jazz hands, in an attempt to keep Milo and Melissa from bickering. “But maybe with a little less set up this time.”

“We can start when we were almost done playing in the park.” Milo suggested, and Melissa nodded in agreement.

“Right, so when he was turning nine Milo’s parents had brought us to the park to play and have a picnic.” She started.

“Tag!” Milo said, giving Melissa the slightest of taps on the arm as a tag and bolting in the other direction. After the first few times that Melissa had tagged him just as soon as he touched her, Milo learned to be quick. It was starting to drizzle slightly, and so they could feel the slight prickles of the rain on their skin, but they didn’t seem to care. They were far too busy burning off that picnic they just had. If the juice and cookies that were in the picnic itself hadn’t been enough to get them all sugared up, that ice-cream that they had gotten from that cart certainly did the trick. The pair were two blazing balls of energy.

“Get back here!” Melissa called, giving her friend chase. Then, out of the blue a Frisbee flew out of nowhere and smacked Milo in the head.

“Ow!” Milo shouted tumbling to ground, Melissa rushing to his side.

“Milo, are you okay?” Melissa asked, leaning over her fallen friend. Milo rubbed his head and peaking open an eye at her.

“I’m fine, but maybe we can go back to the blanket? I’m getting tired of tag, that’s the fourth time I’ve been hit by flying sports equipment.” Milo sighed as Melissa helped off the ground, before he picked up the Frisbee and tossing it back in the direction it came from.

“At least it wasn’t a soccer ball this time.”

“There is always that.” Milo giggled, giving his head on last rub in some sort of attempt to ward off the soreness.

“Right… Race you to the blanket!” Melissa hollered, darting off to towards the blanket, where the rest of the Murphys were sitting.

“No fair!” Milo shouted as he gave chase, but he was still laughing, and so was Melissa, but then-

BOOOOMMMM!

There was a loud crashing-banging type sound and flash, Melissa turned around. Milo was laying still on the ground, a memory of a birthday past came to mind and almost instantly Melissa put the pieces together. Milo had been struck by lightning again. Her heart skipped a beat.

“Milo!” She screamed, running over to his side. “Mr. Murphy! Mrs. Murphy! Help!” They were already most of the way there when Melissa noticed something that made her panic rise even more. “He’s not breathing!”

Martin was his son’s side, searching for a pulse, and Bridgette was already calling the ambulance while Sara looked on. Melissa heard the older Murphy man murmur something along the line of ‘respiratory arrest’ before started to perform CPR. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes, this was a lot different than last time. Her dad always told her that CPR was for emergency situations, when someone was dying, did that mean Milo was dying? Martin looked up at her for a second.

“Melissa, don’t look, don’t watch this.” Martin gasped out quickly before giving Milo two breathes.

Melissa turned around, but she was listening, she could hear him muttering words of encouragement to Milo, as if to egg him into breathing. After a little under a minute, though it felt infinitely longer, a sigh of relief was heard. She peeked around as saw that Milo was breathing again. What happened next, the ambulance coming, the trip the hospital, the calling off her father to tell him that Milo had been struck by lightning again, the waiting, all seemed to fly by, but also go by slow. It didn’t really make any sense, but it was like things were moving too fast around her, but she was in molasses. She didn’t know what to do. Milo got hurt a lot, a lot a lot, they were just in the hospital two weeks ago, because the back tires on Milo’s bike exploded and he had tumbled down a hill, but it was never this bad. It wasn’t even this scary the last time he was struck by lightning. It had been loud and chaotic, but it was leagues better than this. And then the doctor came.

“Back again already, Murphys?” The doctor tried to joke. The joke was not received well. “Right, Milo is fine. We got him stabilized and then he regained consciousness, the lightning caused respiratory arrest and some burns on his shoulder, he has some numbness in his hands and feet, but that could go away. We can release him in a few hours and he is waiting for you all in the Murphy Suite.”

“Thank you, doctor.” Martin said as the ladies all rushed off towards the suite.

“Hey, guys.” Milo greeted as the group entered the room, they were all by his side pretty quickly.

“Don’t scare us like that, Milo.” Bridgette said, smoothing down some the stray hairs on his head.

“I’ll try, but can’t promise anything.” Milo answered honestly, before looking over at Melissa. “Are you okay?”

“Am I okay?” Melissa blinked owlishly. “You were the one struck by lightning.”

“I get hurt like this all the time, you don’t normally see the worse of it. I want to make sure you’re not traumatized.” Milo shrugged his good shoulder.

“Worry about yourself, I don’t need any.” Melissa smiled, poking him on the side of the head. “So, is this better or worse than the time that you snapped your ankle running from those tigers?”

“Better, I was unconscious during the worse part.” Milo smiled back. “Plus, I’ve got more cool scars from this, which is made extra cool by the fact that lightning rarely leaves burns, but I got them both times. Pretty cool, huh?”

“Oh, the coolest.” Melissa rolled her eyes, but she was still smiling. Milo was so weird sometimes.

“Man, that was intense.” Zach blinked at the pair.

“Oh, it was much scarier than the first time.” Milo nodded. “I actually sustained some nerve damage from that one, I still can’t feel three of the toes on my left foot.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, but the scars for the first time are much cooler, wanna see?” Milo once again lifted the hem of his shirt, but Melissa and Zach both lowered his hands.

“No, that’s okay.” Zach chuckled, looking between Milo and Melissa. “You two have been really close for a while now, huh?”

“You bet.” Melissa said, wrapping an arm around Milo’s shoulder, an action that Milo immediately reciprocated.

“But don’t worry, Zach, you’re a part of the group now to.”

“Yeah, get on over here.” Melissa laughed, pulling him into their little hug. They stayed that way for a few seconds before Milo piped up.

“Hey, guys, want to watch Shrek?”

Melissa and Zach burst into laughter.

[spideycents]

B-Roll // Shawn Mendes - 3: camera ready

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

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Michael and Julie-Anne both get booked as extras, so at least I won't have to start off on my own. We're shooting scenes with extras first before moving into the detention scenes. Hopefully I'll get to have at least a week with them both around. More would be heaven, but it's highly unlikely. If I make friends with the right people, I'm definitely going to try to get them booked for more days though. They can do crosses as fuzzy dots in the windows. I need them with me. I can't do this alone. I hate working on sets without them. They make any set instantly a million times better just by existing.

   Michael shows up at my house the night before so we can carpool to set together. Just like always. Or at least like the times when we're filming closer to my house than to his or we're both booked together for multiple days.

   "How much earlier does crew have to be there?" he asks me. He's laying on the couch in the living room and I'm sitting on the floor, leaning against the cushions. He's trying to peer over my shoulder as I thumb through the rundown email with what I need to bring with me, what's expected of me, my general responsibilities, the address for parking, and finally my call time.

   6:30am.

   "Later, actually," I shrug and show him. "But I'll still go 30 minutes early with you." We always get there early. Michael and I hate traffic and the anxiety of cutting it close and we like to get our favorite seats in holding: two tables from the door, at the very end of the table, hopefully as close as we can get to either check-in, makeup and hair, costumes, or all three. It has been all three before and we got through those lines so fast and were ready in record time and we got placed in the best spots on camera. Those were good days.

   "30 minutes at least," Michael adds for emphasis. He's right. We will most likely get there even earlier. Which means I will, at most, be getting about three hours of sleep tonight.

   Yay.

   "Ooo!"

I raise an eyebrow at him. His lips are pinched and his eyes are mischievous. "What?"

He smirks. "You get to do our makeup."

"I'm gonna make you look like a raccoon," I sneer at him.

"You better." His stupid smirk grows bigger and I reach up and push him away. He flops dramatically to the other side of the couch and his attention returns to his phone.

I close out of my email and open Instagram. I keep finding myself checking Shawn's page and the pages of everyone else in the cast. One minute, I'm scrolling through Zendaya's page, then the next my left shoulder is being shaken.

"Lyla!"

I feel like I'm falling and my eyes fly open as I flail my arms and legs out and grab the coffee table next to me.

"What?" I ask grumpily.

"Go to bed," Michael laughs lightly, but speaks softly.

"I'm take nap right here," I groan and close my eyes again.

"Nooooo," Michael grabs my hands and yanks me to my feet. "You take a nap in there." He nudges me toward my bedroom and I stumble forward.

"Fine." I loll my head back, my eyes only open slightly so they're basically slits, and stick my tongue out at him. "Goodnight."

   "Goodnight," he whispers back in a sing-songy tone. He flips the lights off before my door is even closed and I hear him climb onto the couch on the other side of my wall.

   I pull on my pjs and flop into bed, completely forgetting to turn my own lights off or set any alarms to wake me up in a few hours.

Unfortunately, what feels like seconds after my head hits my pillow, Michael's knocking at my door and day one of detention with The Breakfast Club officially begins.

   I pull on my favorite jeans, a cute blouse, and black combat boots that are a little dirty and scuffed up at the toes from too many long days wearing them in the mountains. Michael's in his usual shorts, t-shirt, and hoodie. I've got my makeup bag with everything I need and my backpack with a fluffy jacket stuffed in it along with some essentials if I get bored: a hardback copy of The Knife of Never Letting Go (which I desperately need to reread), my sketchbook, and an array of pens and pencils. Michael's got his backpack with his small collection of portable chargers, his clothes for costumes, and his favorite book Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda (he never goes anywhere without it).

   We both fill up our water bottles, then head out to his car.

True to form, we pull into a parking spot in the crew and extras lot at 4:53am.

"We're the first people here." I hold up my right hand and Michael high fives me, then we both climb out the car.

We get our stuff out the trunk, then he slams it shut and walks away. Before I follow after him, I reach for a magnet on the back of his car, flip it upside down, and run after him.

Michael's stopped and he's glaring at me.

"You're the worst," he says flatly.

"I think you mean the best." I smile.

"Nope," he shakes his head. "You're garbage. Get in the trash can."

I flip him off and we walk to the front of the parking lot where the shuttles will pick us up to take us to set. There's a security guard standing by the entrance to the gravel lot. He's talking to a couple of guys who I'm assuming must be PAs since they're always the first ones in and the last out.

Michael groans dramatically as he drops his stuff on the ground by a tree. He leans against it and pulls out his phone.

One of the guys with the security guard walks away and heads for a silver car, gets in, and drives away.

I drop my stuff next Michael's, then lower myself to the ground and lean back against the tree. I keep my focus on the guy still with the security guard. He looks vaguely familiar, but between his backward baseball cap and baggy sweatpants and hoodie, I can't really make out his form. There's not much light on him either since the street lamps are really dim and my eye sight's still fuzzy cause I'm not fully awake yet. There's just something about the way he's standing, I guess.

A yawn creeps up my throat and catches me by surprise when my mouth opens so wide, my jaw hurts. The yawn lasts for a good long minute and my vocal chords squawk when air is forced through them unexpectedly.

"What the fuck kind of noise was that?!" Michael's eyes are wide and he's looking at me like the mother panda in that viral video looked at her sneezing cub. "Did something just possess you?" The crazed look on his face intensifies when he laughs and I pout.

"Don't judge me," I whine and stick my tongue out at him.

"I always do," he grins.

I roll my eyes and start playing Disney Sporcle quizzes on my phone. I'm so lost in them that I don't notice Michael leaving, or someone else taking his place.

"Do you happen to know any of the lyrics to Be Our Guest?" I ask and when Michael doesn't immediately respond, I continue. "Because I have two minutes left and I'm still missing a good third of the song."

Still no answer so I look up at him.

Oh.

My.

God.

"I'm more of a Lion King fan," says Shawn Mendes, who's sitting on the ground a mere three feet from me. "If you need any help with Hakuna Matata, I got you."

He winks at me.

Oh god.

What the fuck is happening?!

I look like an actual goblin right now. This is his first impression of me.

I'm a fucking bridge troll with like four chins right now because of the way I'm looking at my phone.

"Cool," I say, but at the same time as I hiccup, so I clear my throat. "Cool. Um...if I uh...get that one, I'll let you know."

I hiccup again.

Great.

I hiccup again, harder.

Fuck me.

"Are you good?" Shawn smiles slightly.

I nod and hiccup again.

Twice.

Shawn raises his eyebrows slightly. "Do you want some water?" He reaches into the side pocket of his backpack, grabs a water bottle, and holds it out for me.

I shake my head fervently and reach for my own water bottle in my bag, but it's not there.

I look around a little more frantically than I probably should and find it a few feet from me, on the rocks. It must have rolled away when I sat down.

"Oh," Shawn notices it too."Let me get that for you."

"No-" Hiccup. "It's okay. I got it." I quickly dive for my water bottle and scramble back to my spot by the tree while I pop the cap and start chugging.

And choking.

The coughs are harsh and loud and the wheezing hurts like hell and I need it to stop right now because Shawn looks like he's three seconds away from calling 911 and having me carried away on a stretcher.

I drink more water, then cough more.

Water. Cough. Water. Cough.

Until it fades to light wheezing and the occasional throat clearing.

"I'm good." My throat feels like sand paper, but the words manage to force their way through.

"You sure?" Shawn looks skeptical. I don't blame him. I'm an awful liar.

I nod again. Quickly and repeatedly.

"Yep," I croak. "I'm cool."

A mini coughing fit hits me and Shawn laughs lightly.

"Yeah, you're definitely good," he says.

I take a few sips of water and sigh when the coughing and pain in my throat are finally gone.

"Do you still need help with Be Our Guest?" he asks.

I glance at my phone, but I knew the timer ran out a few minutes ago. It was blinking at me before I even started choking.

"Nope," I shake my head. "But now I know that I missed most of Mrs. Potts' solo, and literally every dish that's mentioned aside from the grey stuff."

"It's delicious," Shawn grins. "Really."

"You've had it?" I haven't. My family brought snacks with us last time we went. The only thing I ate in the park was a waffle.

"Uh huh," he nods.

"Like the real, official thing? At Disney?"

He nods again. "It tasted like Oreos."

"Oh nice," I laugh. "Michael'd love that."

Shawn's eyebrows knit together. "Who's Michael?"

"Oh uh, he's my friend. We drove here together, he's..." I look around, "...somewhere. Probably went back to his car for the heat."

"Man, I shoulda done that," Shawn clicks his tongue. "My friend took my car to set already."

Now it's my turn to be confused. "Why didn't you go with him?"

Shawn shrugs. "Is it stupid that I kinda like riding in the vans?"

I smile. "Compared to...what do you drive?"

"Oh it's not my car," he says quickly. "It's my friends."

"Which would be?..."

"Oh. An Audi," he adds.

"Then yes, it is stupid," I say simply.

"Thank you for your honesty," he chuckles.

"Oh anytime," I smirk. "It's what I'm here for."

"Alright everybody. Leggo!" the PA monitoring the parking lot yells. A black people-mover's pulled up to the curb and the PA's sliding the door open.

I grab my bag and Shawn and I get to our feet. He offers his hand, but I'm up before I even realize it.

"Oh sorry," I say quickly. "I didn't notice-"

"It's okay," he smiles shyly.

I shoot a text to Michael in all caps: VAN

Shawn offers to let me climb in the van first, but the PA holds out his arm and stops me.

"Just him for now," the guy says.

"It's okay, man. She can ride with me," Shawn says.

The PA shakes his head. "I can't let background ride with cast."

"I'm not background," I pipe up. "I'm crew. I'm a makeup assistant."

The PA tilts his head. "Really?"

I don't even blink when I snap back at him. "Do I need to show you my emails or call Angela? I'm sure she'd be happy to clarify that I'm allowed to ride in a van with one other person."

I can't tell if this guy looks impressed or pissed. Maybe both?

He nods at the van. "Get in."

"Thank you," I smile smugly and climb in. I move all the way to the back, even though it's literally just Shawn and I. The PA closes the door after Shawn gets in and follows me to the back.

I scoot all the way over, giving him plenty of room in the four-person seat.

"Oh shit!" I jump up and Shawn freezes.

"What?"

"I forgot Michael," I cringe.

We both laugh lightly and Shawn backs up into the second row of seats so I can scoot past.

"I'm so sorry," I tell the driver as I pull open the door. The PA turns around and I grimace. "Sorry. I forgot, there is actually...one more person."

Speak of the devil.

Michael jogs up to the van and the PA rolls his eyes, but let's him get in.

I go back to my seat in the back and Shawn sits down beside me while Michael stays two rows ahead of us.

"Of course you're back there," he shakes his head and I know he's about to make fun of me more until he suddenly realizes who I'm sitting with. "Uhhhh," he stammers, his mouth agape. "Hi." The idiot waves awkwardly. "I'm Michael." I can't blame him being dumbstruck. We were fawning over pictures of Shawn and screaming about how he could murder us and we would thank him not even 30 minutes ago.

Shawn laughs lightly and waves back. "Shawn. Nice to meet you."

"You too," Michael nods slightly, his eyes as wide as the sun and it takes everything in me to not lose my shit and laugh my ass off.

This is gonna be an interesting day.

---

OVERSHARE TIME! So I started writing this in late June for Camp NaNo and I have a ton of chapters written, but I decided to embrace it's fanfictionness only a week ago so updates are going to be slow-ish while I make edits. Sorry. Hope you all like it though!

[sassenach-j]

ECCC2017 goodness: my recap

Ok, so I've actually never written a blog, nor am I on tumblr too much, but I had such an incredible experience at my first comicon that I thought I should write a bit about it!  Let's see how this goes.  It all started when Sam and Cait (and Eddie), posted that OH SO ADORABLE video from the makeup trailer telling everyone they would be at Emerald City Comicon in Seattle.  I was so busy at work that day, it was almost a blur.  Twitter was abuzz about it, and my girlfriends and I were messaging back and forth like....I'm going, how can I not go, are you going? We have to go!  And before I knew it, I was telling one of them...just buy me a ticket!! I'll make it work!  And alas....ECCC2017 was a go. The opportunity to see Sam and Cait in person, and also a chance to meet 7 of the most wonderful girlfriends in the same city?  SIGN ME UP! The first night in Seattle was so much fun!  7 of us (none of us had ever met, but have been talking on twitter every day for about a year), completely clicked so seamlessly, it was like we had met 10 times before!  Meeting them was seriously the highlight.  Ok yes, seeing Sam and Cait at the same con was also an out of body experience :).  Besides majorly fangirling over seeing our faves the following day, the night i arrived at the hotel and meeting and spending hours laughing and drinking and eating lots of non MPC approved snacks, and playing Cards Against Humanity, and Never Have I Ever.... was priceless!  The next day, on verra little sleep (how can we sleep when we were gonna see Sam and Cait the next morning!!), we arrived at the convention center at 7:15am. We mayyyy have gotten 4 hours of sleep night before, and that’s being generous!  The doors were going to open around 10am, and we just HAD to get up close and personal at that panel.  We arrived so early we were super close to the front of the line.  It wasn't so much a line as a....smush together and stand for 3.5 hours...  But heck, for them it was worth it, sore bodies and all. 

They didn't let us in until 10:30, so needless to say our legs were about to fall off.  When the time came to herd us thru, the organizers said..."no running".... ummm...yeah good luck with that.  So we "walked super fast" and tried to get pretty close, but our squad of 8 kinda broke up in the shuffle and some of us grabbed seats in row 5, and the other girls a few rows behind.  Still great vantage points!  Cait came out first looking absolutely adorable.  And in that leather jacket she wears soooo well.  She looked beautiful in all black!  Then Sam came out IN A KILT!  Hallelujah!! It's been so long, I was like...are my eyes deceiving me?? They were not.  And then he killed us with a wee kilt twirl. Lawwwwwd!  Cait laughed!  They seriously make each other laugh, oh...about every 5 seconds. And they were both wearing black leather jackets.  As per usual...matchy matchy.  The panel was great! They're just SO giggly and adorable and happy together, you can't help but feel the same!  I love how much Cait teases him. It's the cutest thing ever to witness in person! They truly are just such bright lights and so engaging and caring and they love their fans so much.  It's so evident when you watch them together.  

There were tons of Q&A questions, and one of my girls, @heyheykatiemae asked one too!!  It was perfect.  Cait said ‘Hi Kate’...and I think we all died.  Of course, after the fact, I now have like tons of questions I'll ask next time! The panel was about an hour or so, and after taking tons of pictures (most came out blurry....damn those low lights in the event room!), alas, the panel was over.  We all had autograph tickets for Sam and/or Cait for that day after the panel but the room was already full so we were told we can go back for the 2nd shift around 4pm. So instead, we grabbed lunch and then headed to the hotel where they were doing the group photos! Omg, soon enough I would get my samcait sandwich!!! Kind of a dream! Long lines were completely fine bc it gave us time to catch our breath. Although, the nerves were definitely rampant! I mean, these two beautiful humans would be NEXT TO US in a matter of minutes. Never having a con experience before I didn't know what to expect regarding the photos . People around us who had already taken their solo pic with Sam said it's super quick and u barely have enough time to say hi! I wore my Unusual Lady tshirt, and under it I had my MPC shirt. Yes, my plan was to flash Sam the MPC shirt after Cait saw my Unusual Lady shirt. I also recently got into knitting so I knitted them both hats! Granted they'll be in 80 degree temps in South Africa, but eventually they'll be back in cold Scotland!  Hearing that the photos would be super fast, I had no clue how I would say hi (or ramble incoherently), give them their hats, flash Sam (uhh the MPC shirt, that is), AND take a pic w them in the minimal time allotted!  I was on line to take my pic, and after dropping off my jacket and bags on the nearby table, I heard NEXT! I saw them standing there and omg are they tall and gorgeous, and as I walked up to them I THINK I held out my arms and said Hiiiiii! I heard Cait scream and point to my shirt and smile! My unusual lady shirt!! I quickly pulled up my shirt to show Sam the MPC one underneath. And omg thank goodness I held down the shirt so there was no actual flashing 😳.. and he pointed and smiled and said that's great! I then mumbled...I knitted you both hats!  Mind u, as I walked up, someone literally snatched my bag with the hats from me and put them into a box with other gifts. So after I said I knitted u two hats, I remember Sam saying oh great! In the blink of an eye I was between the two of them, and both of their arms were around me, and mine around them. Hello out of body experience. 

Oh wait...let's back up slightly. So the day of the Con, I said to the girls..ok so I want to show Sam my MPC shirt after Cait sees the unusual lady shirt , and I said my fear is that I'll forget to pull my shirt down for the pic. Well, lo and behold half of my shirt was up for the pic.  🙈. As I was flashing Sam, I heard the organizer go MOVE. Umm gee, thanks for the time. So I ran between them for the pic and I remember pulling my shirt down, but I guess not all the way! When the pic was printed I was like oh nooooo 😂.  But heck, it gives the pic more of a pop of color, and to be honest, no one is even looking at me when those two stunning humans are in that pic!  Ok so back to being in between them... they both really squeeze tight and I remember that feeling so well! The photographer said.. READYYYY ... and then there was the FLASH. Then he yelled NEXT !  I said thanks and ran off. Problem was I ran the wrong way bc I was so flustered and then I hear someone say..wrong way! And I ran back to the correct exit side like a chicken with my head cut off. Thankfully there was no video of this! I tried to wait for my friends bc I was the first to go, but we had to move it along. After we were all done, there was a lot of screaming and squee'ing!! It really felt so rushed and I wish they gave us more time, but omg it was still so amazing taking a pic w them! They really are so tall in person! And so gorgeous and so kind!! Sam's leather jacket was so soft! And I remember putting my arm around Cait and it ended up on her arm! And Sam's hand ended up on my side and his fingers were pressed down. *faints*

So after we picked up our hard copy pics, we had a little time before the autographs. We composed ourselves. Ok, who am I kidding, there was zero composure as we all rehashed our picture experience with one another! We were freaking out!  Next stop...the autographs! We lined up rather early but neither Sam nor Cait were in the room as of yet. It was so intimate! Didn't realize the room would be so small and cozy. They each had their own table next to one another but they were somewhat on opposite ends. After about 10min or so, Sam came in!  So he walked in to all of us hootin and hollerin. I can't believe I just used the phrase hootin & hollerin. Does anyone say that anymore? Anyway.... when he walked in he did his cute schoolboy smile and wave. Granted I was just next to him for a photo but he was so close again! Cait was gonna be another few minutes bc she was still taking individual photos with fans.  Because of this, they allowed the people who only had Sam autographs to move up in line while the others (I only had Cait bc Sam was already sold out) waited on Cait.  I actually thought that half of the room would start to move up in the line, but it was only maybe 10 people or so.  The others had both Sam and Cait, or just Cait.  After a few min Cait arrived to a raucous applause. Not to mention a banging on the table by Sam when she walked in, and his big smile at her as she sat down. Such an adorable goober! Ok where was I... so we were waiting for the line to move and all of a sudden the lights went out! Then u hear Cait go... ladies, this is not the way to get to Sam! 😂  To which everyone laughed. When the lights came back up, both Sam and Cait were leaning back in their chair looking at each other and smiling. They continue to kill us.   Sam was just sitting there alone, cause at the time no one was lined up at his table.  So he made a funny comment like, where is everyone? I was standing so close and decided to talk to him.  Cause I mean...why not, right?  So I said yeah what's the deal.  I said something like I'll keep you company.  So he looks at me and goes (with a hand waving gesture) come on over.  And then he winked.  And then I died.  I of course wasn't allowed to hop over the rope (darn), but that wink and smile was everything.  A few minutes later Sam walked over to Cait, put his arm around her and scrunched down to her, whispered something, and then stood up and hand gestured that she talks too much, basically saying that's why he has no one in his line. Haha!  He's the cutest, and he can never stay away from her!  She laughed.  We all swooned. 

So I had brought with me the main promo card picture of Jamie and Claire from S1. I had Ron D. Moore sign it while ago and thought it would be great for Cait to sign it too. I was so sad I wasn't able to buy Sam's autograph ticket bc he was sold out. Cait is seriously so stunning. She just radiates joy. She is so genuine and so warm and friendly. You could truly tell she was having such a great time! She needs to go to cons more often! She's just so real,  you can't help but smile in her presence. I was so thrilled to see how much love she was getting at this con. I mean...we all love Sam, that goes without saying! But Cait never attends these events, so to see all the attention and admiration from the fans, it was really a sight to behold.  Both she and Sam are legit mesmerizing in person! They are just so beautiful, with such beautiful hearts. Sorry, got distracted there for a minute...ok, so it was finally time to walk up to Cait. I had my season 1 promo pic for her to sign, as well as a gorgeous pic of Cait that a couple of my friends & I had printed out to surprise one of our girls who couldn't be here.  You really do lose all sense of speech when looking right at her!  She signed both pictures and then i rambled.  Earlier on, when I took my pic with her and Sam, I had brought them hats that I knitted, but someone snagged them from me so fast and put them into a box, so I asked Cait about it! *burrows head in sand*.   I was like...hi!  Question for you!  So when we took our pic, someone took these hats I had knitted for you and Sam, and I was was wondering if you'll get them?  So she goes, oh yes, they put everything in a big box for us and we'll definitely get it!  She thanked me!  Then she looked at my unusual lady shirt and said, with a big smile, thank you so much for supporting.  I said oh of course, I'm so happy to.  It's such a great charity and you do amazing work.  She thanked me again, and I floated away.  So, as I mentioned earlier, I didn't have a Sam autograph, but after leaving Cait's table you end up walking right past Sam to head out of the room.  No one was in front of him at the time, so I verrrrry slowly walked by, while holding my picture that Cait just signed.  His handler (not sure if that's the correct name) holds out his hand (to take my autograph ticket), but I said...I don't have one *sad face*, he was sold out.  He felt so bad that he handed me (also with a sad face), one of Sam's headshots that was sitting there, unsigned.  So I said thank you and then Sam looked up at me.  He also held his hand out for my pictures, and I said....you were sold out, so you won't be able to sign my picture.  I still had my sad face on, which was valid! He looked sad too and said oh noooo.  He then put out his hand and goes..I'll sign it!  Then he takes the picture from me. His handler lady says, did u buy an autograph? I was lost in the moment & didn't say anything, so she gives Sam a dirty look, he looks at her, continues to sign and goes...I'll pay for this one.  DEATH. DEAD. GONE.  He's the sweetest person in the world!! I cannot believe he did that!  Then I proceeded to say thank you and blurted out...I'M A PEAKER TOO! I DID A 5K LAST WEEKEND.  Yes, I blurted! He goes oh that's great! So good, way to do it.  Then I left....walked into the hallway, and screamed with my girl Katie, because she was standing there next to me basically the entire time while waiting to have him sign her picture.  So yeah...that moment was kind of everything.  

Sam and Cait are just incredibly generous and genuine. Such good people. The OL fans at this con were so respectful and gracious and I enjoyed meeting other twitter and tumblr fans, as well!  It was just the thrill of a lifetime seeing Sam and Cait together at the con.  And what made it even better was getting to spend it with 7 of the best girlfriends, and going thru this experience together. They also had incredible experiences with both Sam and Cait, as highlighted wonderfully in @heyheykatiemae's blog!  Take a gander, if you haven't already! My first con was absolute perfection.  Fingers crossed they go back again next year, because we're all currently saving up money for ECCC2018 :).  Ok well, that’s about all!  Thanks for reading my ramblings! xx

[hgfstreamchats]

Reynolds Human Memorial Stream

Today thenightetc Hello! Me Hello there! Blythe1 Hi all. Me Hello! Blythe1 I've not been by since last Christmas's stream; timezones, you know. Blythe1 It is good to see you again. Me Wonderful to have you back! And watching...this! thenightetc So this is one of the new episodes? Blythe1 Yes, uh I just have a blank screen here. Is that right? I don't really know how Rabbit works Me Hm. I've never heard of it doing that. Blythe1 Let me try a couple of things this end then. thenightetc Well! Starscreamapillar Greetings. Me Evening, Starscream. You just missed Henry Fondle! Starscreamapillar With a name like that, I cannot say I an sorry to have missed them.

Me He's an experience. Starscreamapillar I've experienced plenty of terrible things, I can live with missing out this time. Me The important thing is, you're experiencing this human's terrible, terrible shirt. Starscreamapillar So I am. Is this a movie about illegally transporting alcohol? thenightetc Uhuh. Starscreamapillar . . . Trucks and beer. Truly, high brow entertainment. FeralDog those are some high waisted pants thenightetc So is this a really extended flashback or is it after him being arrested? Starscreamapillar That is not an appropriate way to wake someone. FeralDog puppyyyyyy Me That dog looks exhausted with life. Starscreamapillar That dog looks poorly assembled. Blythe1 Ah, that worked. I am with you all finally. Sorry for mucking about KO Me Never apologize for mucking about! r That dog looks poorly assembled. Blythe1 Ah, that worked. I am with you all finally. Sorry for mucking about KO Me Never apologize for mucking about! Blythe1 Westbound, that is left? thenightetc Yeah. Blythe1 My sense of direction is not the greatest thenightetc Stealth 100 Blythe1 Well there goes the fourth wall, Burt flirting with the audience there Me He *did* flaunt his spike at the world, once. Starscreamapillar . . . . thenightetc Amazing FeralDog theres a reason you have a special license for forklifts thenightetc Is, uh. Is that how they're "paying" for the beer, too Me http://lic.me/uploaded_images/b/u/burt.jpg FeralDog not that he cares xD Me In memoriam. Oh, that didn't turn into a link...that just threw it up there. thenightetc It sure did! Me Well, there's a difference from livestream I didn't know about! Blythe1 It is wonderful Me What an educational evening. Blythe1 I always feel so sorry for people who get jilted at the altar. thenightetc I'm intrigued. FeralDog shotgun wedding? Starscreamapillar Ah, here are the complicating shenanigans. Blythe1 Okay, posse does suggest shotguns. FeralDog ominous sherriff Blythe1 The soundtrack makes me think this might be the baddie FeralDog no, it couldn't be Starscreamapillar Is he wearing an ascot? Blythe1 How much easier would movies be if characters could hear the soundtrack too thenightetc I already hope something bad happens to both of them. FeralDog the fuc Starscreamapillar The frag is this? Me He's covered with a very fine layer of grease. FeralDog the best grease, surely thenightetc Kinda want to go on wikipedia and see if he dies. Blythe1 Too few people know that as soon as law enforcement leaves, that is your cue to leggit quick Blythe1 disturbing thenightetc Yikes. thenightetc ....Nice. thenightetc HA Blythe1 catch of the day thenightetc whoooops Starscreamapillar Would it not be easier to fill the very back of the truck with cases of cola, and create a false manifest for a truckload of that, while hiding the illicit alcohol? thenightetc You'd think so, right? Blythe1 I feel they may have had more success arresting him if he hadn't gloated thenightetc Or even put the alcohol in cola cases. FeralDog depends on how thoroughly they search Blythe1 subtle thenightetc right? Starscreamapillar Bueford. T. Justice. Really? FeralDog hhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaa Blythe1 Imagine if he'd become a judge, then he'd be Justice Justice FeralDog wonder if he's related to a defense attorney with a big forehead thenightetc I kinda like this guy, though. 'Cause he's pissing off this asshole. 😃 Oh god, that face Me Surprise twist: Justice Justice McJustice isn't employed by law enforcement in any capacity. thenightetc It's all just an elaborate cosplay FeralDog larp gone too far Blythe1 Ooh, bridge jump! thenightetc Ohhhh my Starscreamapillar And then they died. Me Rest in whatever. Blythe1 Needs some Waylon Jennings thenightetc I'm amazed they got the lift FeralDog -slow clap for sherriffs- thenightetc I like her. thenightetc I wish he'd get shot. Blythe1 Sexism, homophobia, and now racism, we all knew it was coming. He's just a pile of cliched Southern Sheriff stereotypes Starscreamapillar He is wasting time he does not have. FeralDog now we just need Justice to meet a Catholic and flip out about it and we've got my friend's uncle xD thenightetc ... man that's cheap Me What are they made of, hair? Blythe1 It is the World's Most Professional Lawman /sarcasm thenightetc Oh my god. FeralDog what year was this movie? thenightetc "gosh, all that?" Me You know, I've eaten human food, and nothing about it warranted eating it like that. Blythe1 1977 Starscreamapillar . . . . FeralDog explains a lot thenightetc Ha, better for him not to have his car parked outside for the sherrif to see, anyway. Blythe1 is this the story of how she got decapitated? thenightetc Too bad THEY didn't. Starscreamapillar Pity. Blythe1 I love his ring he has on thenightetc ...Okay, THAT handle raises some questions. Starscreamapillar The thing to the floor. thenightetc I mean, I figured they were just doing a funeral, but..... Blythe1 picking up or dropping off? Starscreamapillar A am not an expert in automobiles, but tell me, does the 'thing' in fact go to the floor? FeralDog it can FeralDog not good for the car though thenightetc Of course, neither is that. Starscreamapillar That cannot be good for the suspension. Blythe1 These days we'd call that a terrorist attack, then a car invading a pitch was just wacky hijinks FeralDog this movie is full of CARnage Me I know the Trans Am's the star of the show and all, but the truck's not bad looking either. Blythe1 not even scratched the paintwork Starscreamapillar Trucks have been spoiled for me, by certain mechs. Blythe1 Like that picture KO posted? That kind of crazy thing? thenightetc Awww. thenightetc Oh my goodness Blythe1 I thought he changed channels? thenightetc You'd think? FeralDog tick turd he may bbe reprehensible but i like his insults Starscreamapillar I think that hanging people was still illegal, even back then. thenightetc HA Me All this for smuggling beer? thenightetc HAHAHAH Blythe1 Not even good beer, just coors FeralDog i think it's less the smuggling and more the he's too good and it makes the cops look bad Me ...That was hot. thenightetc It was. Blythe1 You think they'd have set the roadblock ahead of the turn, not after it Starscreamapillar Knockout, you're a vehicle. Is skidding on one's tires like that as uncomfortable as it sounds? Me Not uncomfortable enough to keep us from doing it. thenightetc And it doesn't even show any signs of having driven through various roadblocks, a chain, several mailboxes, a football stand... thenightetc That car has some kind of force field. PFF Starscreamapillar The car is the protagonist, ans therefore immune to damage until perhaps the very end. Blythe1 WTF! thenightetc Jesus. FeralDog whaaaaat HA I love the good witch immediately thenightetc Yesss. thenightetc high-fives her Blythe1 That dog is this movie's MVP! Me Yes, yes. You have very tight pants. FeralDog she wants to see if he's bald thenightetc Shush. FeralDog ah look at that relief! Me "Put it back on." Blythe1 Oh no, not Fred thenightetc Oh nooooo FeralDog the fuc thenightetc DEFEND THE DOG Starscreamapillar They do not have time for these dalliances. thenightetc Shiiiit FeralDog fred's the only character in this movie with any sense thenightetc but, Fred! he can't leave without Fred! okay, good Blythe1 Whew, Fred is fine. Everyone relax now 😃 thenightetc OH BOY FeralDog HHAHAHAHHA thenightetc HAHAHAHAHAH Blythe1 Do not show this movie to Arcee. Starscreamapillar Would she not be amused by the wanton violence and destruction? thenightetc heheheh FeralDog my young son wtf thenightetc Shoot him. You know you wanna. Me Just a fragile little boy of 44 years. thenightetc Shoot him in the dick and let him bleed out. Blythe1 At least pepper spray him thenightetc Just saying. Starscreamapillar That is not how to handle someone yelling at you. FeralDog it is in the 70s Blythe1 What, let them rant themselves out and leave to become someone else's problem? That is how I would do it. Starscreamapillar Then they think that yelling is the correct way to get what they want, regardless of circumstances. FeralDog YOU ARE DRIVING FeralDog HE IS DRIVING STOP Blythe1 But they then leave to do it to someone else who is not me Blythe1 Those 1970s sensibilities again Me *It. Is. Beer.* thenightetc Smooth. Starscreamapillar Bad beer. It is not worth all this.

eer.* thenightetc Smooth. Starscreamapillar Bad beer. It is not worth all this. FeralDog but t hey're dodging the sales/luxury taxes etc Blythe1 I guess Allied Van Lines really got their product placement money's worth there Me This song feels like it's been going on for years. Starscreamapillar It has. The song has always been playing. And it will play forever more. FeralDog i think the whole movie is just the music video for this huge song Me Agreed. thenightetc OH!!! Me His name is his equivalent of Starscream's Cliffjumper thing. Starscreamapillar ... Cliffjumper thing? Blythe1 Quick, protect the beer from a small traffic ticket Me Our Starscream. Killed an Autobot, brought it up at every possible opportunity. FeralDog is it actually the beer listed, or did they put homebrew in the bottles? Starscreamapillar I see. Well, sort of, since killing -a- Autobot is not really worth of mention, unless it is one of the Elites. Me This one couldn't have been further from elite. Blythe1 Were the Elites all that elite? Smokescreen was an Elite... Starscreamapillar Then I certainly see the resemblance to Mr. Justice's crowing his name constantly. Blythe1 That looks like an OLD helicopter even by 1970s standards FeralDog well if you're far enough out you're getting military leftovers thenightetc Whatever just fell out of that car, I'm sure it's something it's not supposed to do without FeralDog still happens today, less funded departments get better one's leftovers or military Blythe1 Well they didn't until you blurted his name out over the public radio Me I wish Prime were still around to take this movie in. Big rigs and lawlessness...the look on his face would be priceless. Starscreamapillar I am fairly certain my local Prime has caused more road accidents than are in this movie. Blythe1 And maybe bring in Prowl, to see the highstandards of law enforcement at work thenightetc The highest. Me Beautiful. FeralDog for Me Just look at all the humans he saved from the horrid fate of having to settle for quality beer. FeralDog clam chowder Blythe1 chowder, that is thick soup? thenightetc I think they just want to scam him out of having to pay. FeralDog yes thenightetc *snicker* Blythe1 Is the sequel them getting the soup then? thenightetc eheheheheh. FeralDog hhhhhhhhhhhhaa Starscreamapillar Well, that was nonsense. And the song plays on. FeralDog leave him sherriff, he might learn independence FeralDog or die either works thenightetc Seems a bit foolish to let him see them and their new car, but hey. Me Does anyone know if the sequels are any good? And by good, I mean funny. Starscreamapillar I have no idea. thenightetc Never seen them, I'm afraid. This was the first time I'd seen *this* one. Me Shall we give the sequel a try? Starscreamapillar I think so. thenightetc Yes! Starscreamapillar I want to see more cares destroyed. Me Agreed! thenightetc "SMokey and the Little Boy by US Dept Of Agriculture"? Me Assuming I can find it. thenightetc Goodness, doctor, I hope you're over 18. Blythe1 Those putlocker ad popups are always annoying. Me My virgin optics! Me The description sounds terrible. I'm already glad we're watching this. thenightetc Well, you know how sequels are. Starscreamapillar We cannot have too much quality viewing. thenightetc Oh my god, that's really his name? FeralDog wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhat thenightetc Uh FeralDog this is a great intro Blythe1 Still not the worst political campaign I've ever seen Me What a quality movie. Hah! FeralDog agent orange??? Starscreamapillar Agent Orange. FeralDog is that nascar with semis thenightetc ...Maybe? Blythe1 I want to try this sport Starscreamapillar How boring would that be to watch. FeralDog my god that is bringing it clear back to its roots (before it went 'legit' as a sport NASCAR was for bootleggers to show off their skills) thenightetc Oh, huh! Me Interesting! Starscreamapillar Skillful use of grainy stock footage to get around needing to crash a truck of their own. thenightetc Those are some loud suits. FeralDog they almsot remind me of Gideon Gleeful thenightetc ...Oh god, you're right. FeralDog uh Me Oh bolts. thenightetc Gosh, are you SURE you don't want to stop the movie and play the titty game? Starscreamapillar Nothing like hostage advertising. Blythe1 Does that ever work, do you think? Starscreamapillar It must, or they wouldn't waste the time on it. Me "Good suggestion! Goodbye, movie!" Starscreamapillar Not even drinking the terrible Coors he was running. Me He hasn't sunk *that* low. Starscreamapillar Who wears embroidered rose jackets? Me Oh, he's dead. Blythe1 Are we Weekending at Bernies this one? Me I would kill to see that. Starscreamapillar Indeed, that would be very amusing. thenightetc He's already dead. Are those ones Starscreamapillar Turns out they are all ones. Starscreamapillar Why did he give the extremely drunk man the money? Blythe1 Oh that relationship they built up over a long afternoon of being pursued by the cops didn't work out, who knew? Me Hah! Blythe1 Oh that relationship they built up over a long afternoon of being pursued by the cops didn't work out, who knew? Me Hah! Starscreamapillar . . . . Sure it was. thenightetc ...Can't believe she's marrying him after all. I mean, look who she'll have for a father-in-law thenightetc Or maybe she's not SHe doesn't exactly look happy to be there Oh my god Blythe1 Is he wearing an Iron Cross Klan medallion there? thenightetc Oh my god thenightetc Oh my god FeralDog wwwwwhaaaaaaat thenightetc .......... Blythe1 Well that escalated quickly Starscreamapillar I feel like I am stuck in a horrible time loop. FeralDog wait she should be marrying him for a controllable fool. just wait for father in law to die thenightetc Aren't they on a time limit? Starscreamapillar Of course they are. thenightetc It's been a day? At this rate he could just go by himself and not speed. Blythe1 Guys, literally nobody cares about your love lives. Just get in the cars and start crashing into things Starscreamapillar How is her showing up supposed to make things better? Me Doesn't everyone want to see their favorite charming, attractive becoming characters tragic and dirty? Starscreamapillar Where did his hat go? thenightetc ...... Blythe1 I assume there are car chases in this? thenightetc This sure is a lot of time they're wasting Has the time limit not started yet? Blythe1 Or is it a comedy about him getting healthy at some sort o f spa? Starscreamapillar Why does he have to even be in shape to drive the car? FeralDog we don't need to see him crawl out of the hole just show him gettin in gear Starscreamapillar . . . . Blythe1 Nope Starscreamapillar No. FeralDog how long did this take? Starscreamapillar Too long. thenightetc Apparently at least several days Of however much time they had Me By the Allspark, they've so painstakingly extracted literally everything that made the original fun. Starscreamapillar Truly, it is the essence of a sequel. Blythe1 Why did they even need him? If they had enough time to sober him up and then drive down to Florida at a leisurely pace, then they had enough time to not need him anyway. Starscreamapillar Because they could not sell the movie without the promise of Burt Reynolds. Me We all have. Blythe1 lol thenightetc well Blythe1 If he is so famous now, how did he not end up in jail after the last movie? thenightetc I guess it's a very specific level of famous. Starscreamapillar Apparently in this reality they have to actively catch you in the act to arrest you. thenightetc So THIS is why they'll be on the run this time. Starscreamapillar I hope the crate is full of exotic flowers, or something equally nonsensical. thenightetc They didn't tell him what they'd be transporting, huh. Blythe1 If they are supposed to be in Miami, why are they all wearing warm clothing? Starscreamapillar . . . . Me How very zany. thenightetc Stealth 0. Blythe1 This script was written via madlibs, right? thenightetc That sounds like a problem for the other guys. ...Huh. Blythe1 I guess we've answered the question of whether the sequels are any good... thenightetc So get him to use all his bullets. FeralDog 4 out a 6 thenightetc HA Me Apparently, that elephant's 60 years old and living in the "worst zoo for elephants." So there's that. thenightetc Well, that's cheerful. Blythe1 I assume these were famous sportsball players of the day? thenightetc Wouldn't it have been faster to just keep going? thenightetc Well, maybe not Blythe1 Well that is handy Starscreamapillar How are they feeding this elephant? Unless they want to deliver it dead. thenightetc I guess they're just not going to feed it for a few days?? Me And warm, and bloated. Me Of course, a vet is what she needs. Not food or water or anything. FeralDog mob doctor? thenightetc "check out my sick elephant" Starscreamapillar . . . . I feel like this doctor would get along well with Mudflap and Skids. Blythe1 Oh, now. He's bad, but not that bad. Starscreamapillar Are you certain about that? thenightetc Oh no Oh no, he's going to join them, isn' the FeralDog i wouldn't want that doc anywhere near me Blythe1 That is the 2nd time he's mentioned being a gynaecologist, I'm guessing the twist is the elephant turns out to be pregnant. thenightetc Can't wait to see the miracle of elephant birth again! FeralDog just a normal day in florida, if gas station guy is any clue thenightetc ...well, THIS is safe Blythe1 I'm not sure if this is crueller to the elephant, or the audience? Me This is a nightmare. FeralDog pfft thenightetc poor guy FeralDog ahahahhahaha Starscreamapillar . . . . Even the slapstick is flaccid. thenightetc hahahaha Blythe1 Okay, it is four AM here, so I gotta go get at least an hour's sleep. It is a shame I can't stick around and see if this movie has a joke in it at some point 😃 thenightetc Oh my god. FeralDog this is a bad idea Blythe1 Seriously, I gotta go get some sleep.. This has been fun catching up with all of you again, goodnight now. Starscreamapillar Rest well. thenightetc Night! Me Good night! Thank you for joining us in this mess! Me Stop talking. thenightetc The stirrup. Starscreamapillar They still have not fed it. thenightetc ...Oh my god. The mural on the truck is some guys getting held up by a bandit THAT'S subtle Starscreamapillar It is the same mural as the first movie's truck. thenightetc I know! I just didn't notice it before thenightetc Do they have time for this Starscreamapillar In a hurry? Might as well take a very long break to harass an elephant, and flirt painfully. thenightetc Welp, Blythe was right Me You're going to have a dead baby elephant if you don't feed it. FeralDog aiehgkdl thenightetc ....... oh jeez FeralDog let the elephant stay outside a while, she'll eat some trees or something and be fine Me "I'll let you touch me in the warm places if you don't hurt the elephant anymore than you already have." thenightetc Are they trying to imply the elephant wants to......... 😕 Starscreamapillar Yes they are. Me ... thenightetc And the song going "spend the night in charlotte" Me NO. thenightetc I mean.... really........ thenightetc REALLY. FeralDog bandit, just wait till she's dropped off to go after Frog. humor the elephant. thenightetc ...Why did it explode Starscreamapillar It always explodes. Starscreamapillar Was that supposed to be a joke? thenightetc *facepalm* oh my god you have time for this shit? Starscreamapillar 'You come out here and love me' FeralDog channeling gala Fluttershy here Me You've done nothing but hurt this elephant. thenightetc oh god. FeralDog whh Starscreamapillar Sure, leave the elephant to some kid you just found. Me Definitely the actions of someone who cares about children and elephants. thenightetc Uh oh. Starscreamapillar Why did the movie even bother with a time limit when they are just going to ignore it? thenightetc A mystery indeed. FeralDog well my oven dinged. ttyl possibly thenightetc Have fun! thenightetc This is just.... sad. thenightetc uh Uh Me This is a dumpster fire. Starscreamapillar And not even an entertaining dumpster fire. thenightetc That can't be comfortable for her Me This is an hour and forty minutes of a drunk abusing an elephant. thenightetc How did he not see them there Was it because they were out of frame. Starscreamapillar . . . . Skids and Mudflap would fit right into this mess. thenightetc Is he a Mountie thenightetc Wow, he even has a, uh moustache. what a uh interesting.... statement..... Starscreamapillar Why did they even bother bringing the Bandit? No one is after the stolen elephant. He's just useless. Starscreamapillar And that is not the correct way to cut someone off. thenightetc Why are the others agreeing to this I mean.... half of them are from CANADA, apparently? Starscreamapillar They have no jurisdiction in Texas? thenightetc Definitely not. thenightetc Maybe they're retired and stole the cars. Starscreamapillar . . . . And they came from where? And why? thenightetc Oh, you know truckers! They just have endless time to screw around fighting cops They're not on right schedules or anything. Starscreamapillar Everyone is going to jail. And the morgue. thenightetc *tight schedules Starscreamapillar Dead. thenightetc "Luckily, nobody died!" thenightetc How, uh, how long is left? Starscreamapillar Forever. Starscreamapillar No. Me Ten minutes. Starscreamapillar That is not how that works. thenightetc I feel like there's no way that would work Especially not with the elephant Me For Pit's sake, even *I* know how elephants give birth. thenightetc You sure do! (You're welcome.) Starscreamapillar I am glad that I do not know the mechanics. Me It's...torrential. thenightetc I'm sure I could find the video again 😃 Kidding. I'm kidding. Starscreamapillar I am not asking for specifics. thenightetc oh come on thenightetc Elephants don't have the right equipment to cry out of sadness, btw. That's just eye lubrication, basically. It runs out of their eyes all the time. Starscreamapillar I was aware of that. Me They're going to take his thumbs. thenightetc I'm just saying. thenightetc He's spent a lot of the money on bribes already ...Is the trans am... towing the elephant?? Me A beautiful two year old baby. thenightetc Wow, they really DID take a long time about this. Starscreamapillar They stole that elephant from the Texas governor. Me As you do. thenightetc What were they going to do, deliver it? thenightetc ..... Me "Young black boy" Me Alright, we're done with that. But before we end the night... thenightetc That is quite a large delta in quality. Is this the elephant thenightetc (I know you've seen this one before, but https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ll5y2hZdCI ) Starscreamapillar If all dogs do go to heaven, why is there a dog hell to begin with? thenightetc It doesn't get a lot of business, admittedly. Me It's full of vacuum cleaners and strangers on the lawn. thenightetc awwwww Me And that, my friends, is the note we end the night on. Starscreamapillar Very well! Thank you for hosting another bemusing movie night. Me Thank you for making it memorable, as always! thenightetc First movie--entertaining. Second movie--entertaining in a different way. Thanks for hosing! Me Always a pleasure! Good night! Starscreamapillar Good night. thenightetc Good night!