#guess why? the nurse didn’t say any out of pocket shit to me. amazing how that works out!

[fingertipsmp3]

I am once again thinking about how I have empirical proof that my blood pressure goes through the roof when I’m pissed off. It doesn’t bode well.

[theonewiththefanfics]

Black Ice (one-shot)

Synopsis: Black ice is considered one of the most dangerous winter weather phenomenon. It appears after it’s rained or snow has melted and then the rapidly cooling air freezes it, leaving it as a shiny black mirror on the ground.  A deadly shiny black mirror. 

Pairing: Harry Styles x fem!Reader

Genre: angst, fluff

Warnings: swearing, mentions of hospitals and injuries

Word count: 8852

“God, Harry, it’s just one night!” Y/N exasperated, throwing her hands in the air. “One fucking night I wanna go out with my friends and have some fun. Is that really too much to ask?”

        “I haven’t seen you in two months!” he snapped back. “So, please fucking forgive me that I wanna spend a night in with my girlfriend and have her say ‘no’ one time, and make me a priority. Is it so hard to reschedule?”

        “Yes, Harry it is!” Y/N stood her ground. “Adam and I have been talking about this for three weeks before we could set a date and meet up. He fucking flew out here! To London! And it’s not my fault you haven’t been home in two months, so don’t put that on me.”

        “No,” he shook his head pointing a finger at her. “Don’t pull that shit on me. You knew about my job, you know how it can be, how much I have to travel.”

        “I get that, and I’d get your anger if I was fucking off with my friends on our anniversary without any notice or some shit, but I’m not! I made these plans ages ago. I told you about them! How could I have known you’d decide to ‘surprise’ me a week early?”

        But the thing for Harry was – he did think there was an anniversary to celebrate. It wasn’t an official one, and he hadn’t told Y/N how much the date meant, but that day was the day they’d met a year prior.

***

        He was in the middle of filming ‘Darling Don’t Worry’. This time they'd flown out of California to shoot a scene in the middle of the woods, in the cold of November, which as exciting as it was to have his acting career flourish, Harry wasn't too happy about freezing his ass off in the middle of nowhere.

Y/N, however, lived right next to those woods, her family house having been there for generations, while the location scouts of the movie had chosen the location because the aesthetic could double as the location of the woods behind the mansion.

        Y/N’d been out on her daily run (well, daily complaining because Y/N, with all her being, hated running, and thought it was a sign you were a masochist. But her best friend Adam loved running and hated going alone, so he bribed her with the promise of pizza afterwards), when they’d run into pitched white tents, filming equipment and barriers encasing a part of the path they were on.

        Adam’s eyebrows furrowed as he slowed his pace, and Y/N thanked god for that because she felt like she was about to pass out.

        “What’s going on here?”

        “Dunno,” Y/N huffed. “But we should probably leave.”

        But instead, Adam grabbed her by the bicep, dragging her forward to the set. “Nope. Come on.”

        “Adam!” she hissed. “What the fuck are you – “

        “Hi!” He flashed a woman standing by the railing a smile. “Could you-uh-tell us what’s going on? Why’s the path blocked?”

        “A movie’s being filmed. Sorry for the disturbance.”

        “Mhm, and when do you think you’ll be leaving?”

        That she hadn’t expected, given how typically when people saw a movie set, they’d be more than intrigued in getting into a shot or finding out about who were the stars, not when they’d be going away.

        “Oh, uh,” she stammered. “I’m not too sure. Depends if the snow starts falling and how much we manage to shoot. Sorry. But uh, would you be so kind and find a path around?”

        Y/N jumped in, flashing her a kind smile. “Yes, thank you. So sorry to have disturb –“

        “You do realise this is a public place?” Adam raised an eyebrow. “We have a right to be here.”

        “Adam, shut up,” Y/N groaned. “We can run around them, it’s not a big deal.”

        “But this is our route!”

        “Adam for fuck’s sake! It’s the woods, you don’t own them!”

        “Exactly!” he said. “And neither do they! They have no rights to infringe on our ability to get to the sea.”

        That’s when Harry had noticed her, and to this day Y/N had no clue as to why he’d fallen for her. He was conversing with Florence about the upcoming scene when his ears caught the very end of the conversation, green eyes snapping to where two people in running tracksuits stood.

        One of them was a tall burly man, muscles practically ripping apart his clothes at the seams, the other was a shorter woman, hands-on-hips, hair kept away by a headband which also covered her ears, and the most done expression on her face as she glared at her companion.

        They were talking with a nervous assistant; Harry could see by her stature and how her head kept snapping to the side in hopes of finding someone above her to deal with the two strangers.

        “Adam, I swear to god, I’ll punch you." Harry heard the woman exclaim. "Leave the girl alone! We can run around.”

        “But I –“

        “Adam!”

        “Fine,” he grumbled as he threw the assistant and apologetic look. “Sorry.”

        “ ‘S okay. Have my preferred cycling route as well, so yeah… Sorry.”

        Harry watched as the woman next to the person, Adam, shook her head and gestured to where the barriers curved around, starting up on a slow jog, and when they passed where he was standing by the trailers, he could hear them still arguing. 

        “Oh my god,” Harry heard her whisper while looking at the ground. “I’m friends with a fucking Karen.”

        “I am NOT a – you’re Harry Fucking Styles!” Adam shouted so hard, it startled Y/N, and when she looked over, it was like a deer in headlights before relaxing and both of them slowed their pace.

        “Sorry,” she gave him an awkward glance. “He’s a fan, but we’ll be going and stop bothering you...”

        “No, no,” Harry shook his head, putting his hands in his coat’s pockets and smiling. “ ‘S alright, you’re no bother. I’m always happy to talk to a fan.”

        “Yes, well, don’t encourage him. Soon enough, you’ll be besties, and Adam here’ll be turning your life into absolute chaos.”

        He scoffed looking down at his friend. “I’d like to think I’m taking you out of your boring routine, Y/N, and giving it some spice.”

        “Anyway,” she gritted out. “It was lovely to meet you, but uh, we should probably be on our way. You have to be somewhere.”

        Y/N’s eyes glanced over Harry’s shoulder, where a nervous AD stood, bouncing on her feet, a weary smile on her face as she caught the singer’s eyes and motioned with her head he was needed back on set.

        Harry nodded and wanted to turn back to tell the two to come by whenever they wanted (well mainly Y/N), but when he turned around, the two were already quite a few feet away. Just as he was about to leave, he heard Y/N shout, “Congratulations on the three Grammy nominations, by the way. ‘Fine Line’ was amazing.”

        “And that’s a compliment!” Adam hollered jogging backwards. “She only listens to shit from the early 2000s.”

        “Adam, shut up!”

        With that, Harry was left to watch the two disappear behind the trees, a feeling he was quite familiar with settling in his chest.

        It was three days later, when he saw Y/N approaching the set barriers, hands in her pockets, as she rolled her neck. Their eyes met, and even, from the distance, he could see her smile split apart her face, but when she just waved without the intention of coming any closer to the lot, Harry rushed to the side calling out to her. “Hey!” 

        “Hey!” Y/N responded chuckling and ducking her head down. “You alright?”

        “ ‘M alive. How ‘bout you? You doin’ fine?’”

        “The bar’s so low?”

        “I guess. Won’t be able to get you to nurse me back to health though, which is why I’m in the cold again.”

        She wiggled her eyebrows at Harry. “If you wanted to see me, there's no need to lose limbs or bits of yourself.”

        Harry hadn’t expected her to be so upfront, but he couldn’t lie and say he didn’t like it. Made it easier for him to understand if his advances were welcome or if he should back off. “So uh, no Adam today?”

        “No, he has a late shift at work. Which means I’m spared from the running.”

        “Not a fan?” he looked at her with a quirked brow, seemingly saying ‘you’re sure dressed like you are’.

        “Do I look like someone who likes stabbing pain in her side and having her heart ripped out of her chest?

        “You’re just not breathing properly.”

        Y/N sighed. “If one of you gives me any more advice about how to properly run when I don’t even want to run, I swear I’ll stab you.”

        “Okay!” he threw his hands up in surrender, laughing. “No more talk about running if I wanna keep my head on my shoulders. Where are you uh going? You don’t have to answer, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

        Y/N squealed on the inside, but bit her lip to keep the grin away. She’d been dying to talk to Harry since they’d briefly met but had no real reason. Not that she had one now, but she’d had a horrible day at work and needed to clear her head, and what was better than the forest air (also she could scream there without anyone really caring). “You’re not, so don’t worry. I’m uh I’m going to the sea.”

        Harry’s eyebrows rose. “There’s sea nearby?”

        “You’re like a fifteen-minute walk away from it,” she chuckled, stuffing her hands in her coat’s pockets. “Should really be more aware of your surroundings.”

        “We’re in the middle of nowhere.”

        Y/N tilted her head. “Yeah, you’re kind of right. But it’s places like these where you can find the best spots.”

        “Will you show me then?”

        She looked at him with an unreadable expression, and he could only hope his nervousness wasn’t as apparent, because Harry was more than convinced his erratically beating heart could be heard miles away. But then she nodded, giving him a wide grin, making one of his own bloom on his face. 

“You sure you won’t freeze on your way there?” she said in a sarcastic tone eyeing him up and down, and Harry shoved her a bit.   

        He donned one of the standard down-jackets issued for the movie with winter boots, but given the costume underneath, he was chilled to the bone. “It’s bloody cold, and my toes are freezing off. How are you still standing?”

        “Insulated shoes and thermal clothes. Kinda boiling actually.”

        “I should steal ‘em.” He smiled at her. “Probably have frostbite by now.”

        “Wow, you people from the South UK really are weak.”

        Harry’s gasp made her smile as wide as a Cheshire cat. “How dare you!” He dramatically placed a hand on his chest, Y/N’s laughter erupting through the air. It cut through the yells and shouts from the filming crew, and made a warmth spread in his chest. “How do you know about the South versus North? You don’t sound like you’re from the UK.”

        “Studied there for three years; had loads of flatmates from all around, let alone course mates.” Y/N chuckled and shook her head. “And to say that I thrived on the chaos  was when you said North was better than the South would be an understatement.”

        “Well, I guess I know where your loyalties lie.”

        “Did you expect me to immediately swoon over you?” Y/N batted her eyelashes at him. “Oh, Mr Harry Styles. Your voice in ‘Kiwi’ was so good it fucked me to cloud nine. Will you please do that to me with your dick instead? Which you should take as a compliment again, considering kiwi is the only thing I’m allergic to.”

        “Wait,” he looked at her, eyebrows up to the middle of his forehead. “So you have heard my stuff?”

        “Well, I don’t live completely under a rock. I did say 'Fine Line' was amazing.”

        “But you don’t really like it?”

        Y/N shook her head. “ ‘S not that I don’t like yours or other pop stuff, ‘s just that I have a preference, and I guess it’s, as Adam said, ‘early 2000s shit’.”

        A sly smile appeared on Harry’s face. “But could that include by any chance 'One Direction'?”

        “Afraid not,” Y/N sighed giving him a pout. “When you came onto the scene, my heart was already taken by a boyband. And I can be a lot of things, but I most definitely a loyal bitch.”

        “One band at a time kind of gal?”

        “Exactly.” She beamed. God Harry had never wanted to kiss a person that bad. 

        “Duly noted, but I will need to know who they are, and how many graves do I have to dig? You know, for research purposes.”

        “Going method now?”

        “What’dya mean?”

        Y/N shrugged sniffling a bit from the frosty weather. “Looked up a little bit about the movie. Need to know what kind of people might be around in the area. Psychological thriller. Wife. Rich husband. A dark secret. My guess – someone’s dead and buried. Also, the huge pit we walked past was kind of a give-away.”

        He paused for a second before nodding. “Fair enough.”

        A comfortable silence fell between the two as Y/N motioned with her head to where they needed to turn and made their way onto a new path when she spoke. “ ‘S not that I wasn’t a fan,” Y/N shrugged glancing at Harry from the side. “The songs were really catchy, but I guess I got tired of them? Like they were on the radio so much, it was a relief I didn’t have to hear the five of you singing about how I don’t know I’m beautiful.”

        Harry threw his head back in a laugh. “Don’t worry. Sometimes we’d get sick of it ourselves. But umm, ‘Fine Line’… You said you liked it… Do ya’ have a favourite song?”

        Y/N cringed. “Is it cliché if I say ‘Golden’? Because it’s ‘Golden’. I’m a sucker for a slow and then a ‘bam!’ kind of an opening.”

        Harry shook his head. Now he was the one biting back a grin. “ ‘S not cliché. Was one of my favourites to write, so I’m glad you appreciate it.”

        “Also, it makes me feel sunny? If that makes sense? Like – like when I listen to it, I feel warm and safe and just happy...”

        He’d be lying if he said his heart wasn’t pounding in his chest at her words. Warm. Safe. Sunny. “Well,” Harry cleared his throat to keep the words ‘One day I’ll marry you’ at bay. Fuck, he'd only known her for like twenty minutes! “I’m glad you like it more than my previous stuff.”

        “You just love putting me in uncomfortable situations, don’t you?”

        He smiled, nudging her shoulder with his, and was just about gearing up to take a breath and ask Y/N out (before he could ask to marry her), when quick steps from behind him drew their attention. 

        Dressed in a typical 50s housewife dress with a black coat on top, Florence Pugh came to stand beside them, and Harry swore he saw mischief twinkle in her eyes as she raked them over both people and then settled on Harry’s companion.

        “Hi!” she said giving Y/N a bright smile, and a wink to Harry, which passed the other girl’s head, given how she was absolutely fangirling right now. “I’m Florence.”

        “I – yeah – I – you – I love you,” Y/N finally breathed out. “Fuck, I just, you know, 'Midsommar' was a fever dream, but I absolutely loved it, and I can’t wait for 'Black Widow' to come out. Oh my god, I think I’m gonna pass out.”

        “Please don’t.” She laughed grabbing onto Y/N’s shoulder. “Feels like I already know you, but I’ve been dying to meet you actually. Created quite the commotion yesterday.”

        You know how they say men can think of absolutely nothing, like have a completely blank page in their head? Yeah, Y/N was having that exact moment. 

        Florence tutted crossing her arms over her chest and looking at Harry with mock disappointment. “But Harry here just kept talking about you, without any intention of inviting you to the trailers, so I had to take things into my own hands.”

        “You’ve been wanting to meet me?” Y/N breathed out, hands going into her hair, looking at Harry. “Oh my god, what is happening? Am I hallucinating?”

        “No, you’re not,” Harry grumbled glaring at Florence. “Unfortunately. But we were on our way to the sea, so I’ll see you back on se-“

        “Hello there,” Chris Pine’s smooth voice interrupted them, as he extended a hand for Y/N to shake as he jogged up to the trio. “I’m Chris.”

        “Wow, your eyes are even bluer in real life.” Her own Y/E/C ones widened. “Did I just say that out loud?”

        “You did,” Chris chuckled, “but I most certainly take it as a compliment. You said you were going to the sea?”

        “Uh, yeah,” Y/N breathed out still gazing into Pine’s eyes. “Wanna join?”

        Harry wanted to scream, but he couldn’t really. As much he wanted to tell both Florence and Chris to go away, he didn't. Seeing Y/N’s eyes light up as the two other actors conversed with her, laughed and joked around, made his heart expand.

        It was insane to him, that a woman he’d seen twice in his life could have such a huge impact. It was like she’d been his missing part. Well, no. Harry didn’t like that notion – that the ‘right’ person would complete someone. People were complete on their own, but it was true to him that there was someone out there that’d make each and every moment special, someone who would help the other become better, but also hold them accountable when needed. 

        They wandered around the seashore, which like Y/N had said, was a fifteen-minute walk, for about half an hour before turning back to the woods.

        By that point, she’d somewhat calmed down, and could actually comprehend what Chris and Florence were saying to her, and it was rather enjoyable to ask all the questions about Hollywood and the industry most people wouldn’t say on the record. 

        At around four PM when all of them got back to set and Olivia came to tell them they were wrapping up for the day, Florence, and Chris split from Y/N, telling her to come by whenever she wanted, while Harry said he’d walk her to the end of the trail.

        “You know I’ll be fine. I grew up here, know these paths like the back of my hand.”

        “ ‘S alright,” he shrugged his shoulders. “I’m sure they won’t mind much if I come back ten minutes later.”

        “You know, you’re not how I thought you’d be.”

        “What’dya mean?”

        “I – I don’t even really know… just not how I imagined you.”

        Harry didn’t know what to really do with that information, but the look on Y/N’s face most definitely didn’t seem like she meant it in a bad way. In fact, her shy smile and fleeting glances told him otherwise. At least he hoped he read her features right.

        They said goodbye with soft ‘see you laters' and he watched her throw one last glance at him over her shoulder before he himself retreated and ventured to the trailers to start de-shedding the character of Jack for the night.

        Harry plopped down in his seat with a groan, fishing out his phone from the pocket while the hair and make-up team did their work, taking the products off his face before applying moisturiser to the stressed skin.

        Florence poked him in the cheek, and he swatted away at her hand, looking up from Instagram (or his attempts to find Y/N with just knowing her first name). “What’s wrong?” she asked, poking his pouting face again.

        “She literally fangirled about everyone but me.” He huffed sliding down even further in his seat. 

        Florence raised an eyebrow. “Jealous, Styles?”

        “No,” he scoffed crossing his arms. “Why would I be jealous?”

        “Because literally both mornings that we've got here, you’ve been fidgety, keeping a watch of the path, and didn't calm down until Y/N appeared just now. So I’d say you’re absolutely smitten with the girl and are jealous because she’s more of a fan of us than you.”

        “I know she likes me.” His eyebrows furrowed. “I think. She hasn’t told me to fuck off.”

        “She’s a stranger you met in the middle of the woods. You should hope she likes you. But not too much. Otherwise, it could so easily become a scene out of a horror movie.”

        Chris bit his lip looking at Olivia, who’d come in the trailer after having seen the group come back with an almost heartbroken gaze – it was clear as a summer’s day Harry was struck by the girl, but they had to face the music. “Harry,” he started. “You – you do realise we end filming here in two weeks, right? And she’s a local.”

        “And?” his eyebrows furrowed at Chris’ words.

        “You’ll be leaving in two weeks for another three months of filming, while she stays here. I don’t – I don’t want to see you hurt, but you have to realise that most likely nothing will happen.”

        “And what makes you say that? Maybe she could come with.”

        “Y/N is her own person with her own life, job and friends, which, as it seems is all set here.”

        “Besides you don't really even know her,” Olivia said as well. “It's been two days."

        “Sometimes a day is enough.”

        A silence settled over them, as Harry tapped his phone against his nails.

        “You guys, come on!” Florence came to his defence. “He likes her. Why not give it a shot?”

He'd flashed her a thankful smile and mouthed a 'thank you' to which she just gave him an encouraging nod. She was on his side. She believed he could do it. And he did. Using Florence's faith in him as a catalyst, a day later when Y/N had gone on her run with Adam, Harry had excused himself and joined the two. 

        Adam was thrilled to the bone, but he was also competitive, so after ten minutes of trying to persuade the woman to run faster so he could beat his previous time, he took off on his own, with a promise of meeting up by the shore. That’s when Harry grabbed Y/N by her bicep and stalled them both, confusion written all over her features.

        “I uh,” he started. “I wanted to ask you something.”

        “Yeah, sure. Go ahead.”

        “I – “ he stuttered taking in a deep breath. “I – uh – and you have zero obligations to respond, but uh – I was wondering if you’d like to go on a date with me sometime?”

        That made Y/N do a double-take. “You want to go out? On a date? With me?”

        “Ye – yeah.” It was uncertain how the word came out, but it felt so good to say it. “Yes, I really do.”

        “Sorry.” She shook her head looking at the ground with furrowed brows. “Sorry’s just, kinda hard to believe it.”

        “ ‘Nd why’s that?”

        “Well because the first time we met, I looked like a sweaty mess, the second, I could barely function around your friends and co-workers, and now, well now I look like a sweaty mess again.”

        “So?”

        “I just –” Y/N laughed but waved him off. “Never mind.”

         Fear instantly took hold of his core at her statement, so he rushed to salvage what could be salvaged. “No, I mean if you don’t want, you - you don’t have to say ‘yes’. I’m not gonna be upset or any –“

        “Harry!” This time Y/N placed her hand on his shoulder to stop his ramblings. “I’d love to go on a date with you.”

        “You – you would?”

        “Yes.” Her smile blinded him like the golden rays of sun which broke through the overcast sky. “I’d like to very much so.”

        But it was Y/N’s tearful huff, a storm cloud compared to the warm light from his memories, which brought him out of the fond thoughts and into the icy right now.

        “Because unless it revolves around Harry Styles, it doesn’t matter, right?” she let out a pained laugh. “Because unless he’s there to have all the spotlight on him, it’s not important. Unless it’s not something he wants to take part in, it immediately needs to be cancelled or rescheduled because god forbid someone made plans without him.”

        He grunted in disagreement. “You know that’s not what I meant!”

        “No,” she snapped, snatching her purse and coat. “I get it. Very clearly. I’ll show myself out.”

        “Don’t be so dramatic!”

        She scoffed, glaring at him. “Call me when you get your head out of your ass.”

        The door slammed shut, and Harry sat down onto the sofa to scream into a pillow.

***

        Y/N’s sight was blurry as she drove down the street. A light snow had started to fall over London, so she was twice as careful, knowing Londoners had zero clue how to function when snow hit, and no one had winter tires.

        “Fuck,” she choked out, wiping away at her cheeks.

        She’d had fights with Harry before, it wasn’t like they were perfect. From the outside they looked like nothing could ever be wrong, but they were human. They had flaws and tempers and ideas and beliefs, and sometimes they clashed, but it’d never been as bad as it was that night. 

        She loved Harry, Y/N truly did. She’d even had dreams of the two of them in some far-off cottage in the Italian mountains living a domestic life, but she also just wanted one night to herself. To let loose and think about her own needs and wants, while Harry was away doing the same. It wasn’t selfish, not in her mind. 

        It’d been her who’d uprooted her whole life to be closer to Harry, not the other way around. She was always the one cancelling and making new plans with her family or friends just so she could spend a spare second with Harry. She was there for his sleepless nights and there for his knock-out concerts. Why couldn't he let her have this one thing?

        She was sitting by the wheel at a red light taking in deep breaths to calm herself down. 

        The light turned green, and her hand was slightly shaking as she changed gears.

        Y/N released the clutch and pressed down on the gas.

        Two lights came rushing from the side.

        She gasped.

        A sharp pain went through her side.

        And then it was all black.

***

Anne was going to rip Harry a new one, as she rang him for the fifteenth time, but he still didn't pick up. After the accident and the nurses being unable to contact Harry, they obviously called Y/N’s parents which were next on the emergency contact's list, but given how they lived outside of the UK and the next flight was only in four days, they immediately reached out to Anne, begging for her to go be with their daughter while they got there.

“And please tell Harry to fly over as well!” Y/N’s mum had cried. “I – I know he has work, but please.”

Anne had been shocked to hear Y/M/N ask that, having assumed he was already there, but she wasn’t going to let them get to Harry before she set him straight herself. 

In the beginning, she’d been kind of sceptical, but after spending an evening together where Y/N, her and Gemma all did wine baking, and it had ended up in a disaster in the kitchen with the three of them crying from laughter while Harry stood at the entrance completely baffled and just so done with them, Anne knew Y/N only had good intentions with her son.

        Anne’s love for her only grew from that point on, when she also realised just how much Y/N’s love language was giving. It wasn’t the kind of ‘hey, look, I bought you some fancy thing, now love me’, it was ‘hey, I saw how much you wanted this, I noticed how much it’d mean to you, and I love how happy it makes you. And if it reminds you of me, that’s just a bonus’, and Anne couldn’t help but become as protective of Y/N as her own kids. 

        But at that moment, as finally, after her twenty-seventh attempt, Harry picked up with a gruff ‘ ‘ello?’, Anne was about to burst with rage.

“You get to the hospital right now!” she hissed into the phone.

“What are you talking about?” There was a tremble in his voice. 

The thing was, for two days since Y/N had stormed out, Harry’d been feeling sick. He thought it was due to the stress from the fight and from the pressure his label was putting on him, but now he understood it wasn’t that. It was his instinct telling him something bad had happened, and at Anne’s words, the bad feeling that’d settled in his stomach made his blood run cold. “Mum, what’s wrong?”

“Y/N was in a car accident, and you didn’t bother to pick up your phone.”

“I –” He stammered unable to process her words. “What? Mum? No…”

“You’re her emergency contact,” Anne spoke. “The hospital tried to call you a billion times, and you didn’t pick up.” 

And that’s when he remembered all of those calls from unknown numbers. He thought they’d been some crazed fans who’d gotten his personal number, so he’d just blocked them. “Mum, no.” Harry choked out. “I didn’t mean to – we fought – mum…”

“She’s at St. Helen’s. Please get here.”

He immediately ended the call, and in the span of twenty minutes was at the hospital, which Anne was sure to scold him for because there was no way in hell anyone who didn’t speed would be able to get to St. Helen’s in less than forty minutes. The second she saw her son burst through the door, tear tracks down his face, all the anger and disappointment vanished. 

“Where is she? Is she alive? Y/N!” he yelled across the hallway. “Where is she? Mum! Where’s Y/N?”

“Gem.” She patted her daughter’s knee as both of them stood up from where they’d been sitting at the chairs outside the recovery room assigned to Y/N. “Get a nurse, please.”

Gemma didn’t need an explanation or reasoning seeing Harry’s wild eyes, erratic breathing and shaky hands. 

“Mum!” He practically sprinted after seeing the woman, grabbing her by the shoulders.

“Calm down, Harry,” she shushed him, pulling him in for a hug and feeling his whole body tremble. “Calm down, it’s alright. Gem’ll get you some help, but you need to breathe.”

“I – I’m not the one who needs help!” Harry pretty much screamed. “I need to know if my girlfriend is alive.”

Anne spoke in a calm voice as to not agitate him even more, and her heart broke at the sight of her son so utterly broken. “Harry, you’re about to have a panic attack, and you’re no use to Y/N in that kind of state.”

“So.” He took in a chocked back breath. “So she’s alive?” He didn’t know what he’d do if the answer was anything else but a resounding ‘yes’. There was no version in his brain of where his life could possibly lead but down if he had to go on without Y/N.

“Yes,” Anne nodded, smoothing his hair away from his face, and watching as he took in a deep breath of relief. “She was just wheeled in for her second surgery. Should be out in about four hours. ”

All over again his insides froze. “Second? Mum, tell me the truth – how bad is it?”

“Harry, this is routine,” Gemma put a reassuring hand on his shoulder having returned with a nurse behind her, the man keeping a close eye on Harry and his behaviour. “They did as much as they could the first time, but their priority was on the worst injuries. This one is just to set things properly.”

“Set everything right like – “

“Like bones and stuff…” Gemma shuddered, trailing off. “Y/N broke her hip, dislocated her kneecap, her ankle was shattered and she fractured her collarbone. They took her in so that the bones could be properly placed together and there’s a lesser chance of complications not only while healing but later on in life. But can you please sit down? So they can help you as well?”

“I – alright,” he conceded, taking a place on one of the stiff plastic benches, as the nurse came to him, took his pulse, gave him an inhalator just in case and some herbal tablets to help him relax a bit.

“You said they focused on the worst injuries.” Harry looked at his mother. “What were those?”

Anne sighed, leaning to sit back on the chair next to him and ran a hand through his hair. “A piece of debris punctured one of her kidneys. The bleeding was pretty intense, but they say it was salvageable, so she’ll still have both of them. Gem donated some blood.”

“Thank you,” Harry whispered, looking over at his sister who wiped a stray tear away from his cheek.

She shook her head. “There’s nothing to thank me for. Y/N is family. If she’d lost the kidney, I’d give her mine in a second.”

“The worst they’re worried about is the head injuries,” Anne said. “Luckily, she got away without anything major, but she definitely has a concussion and minor whiplash to her neck, so they want to keep an eye out for any side effects that could arise. They have another surgery scheduled for her in a week if recovery goes as planned. To take the stitches that won’t dissolve out and put in the ones that will.”

        Harry sagged against his mother’s side, her palms soothingly running up and down his back. “She’s gonna be alright, love,” Anne muttered in his hair, pressing a kiss to his temple. “She’s strong. She’ll be okay.”

        It was comforting for both of them – for Anne to have her youngest in her arms, to know he was safe and sound, and for Harry to be held by his mother, the person who always knew how to comfort him when times were rough, and at that moment, they were the roughest they’d ever been.

        “You’ve got some nerve to be here.” Adam’s seething voice pulled Harry away from his mother’s embrace and watched as he rounded the corner with a coffee cup. He was quite sure he was keeping his temper well in check from how hard he was gripping the Styrofoam cup. “Fucking ignore her for two days while she’s laying in the hospital, and appear when it’s convenient for you? Is she some fucking toy for you to use when you want?”

        Anne’s tone was consoling and pleading. “He didn’t know.”

        “The hell he didn’t, he just didn’t want to know! They called you!” Adam pointed at the nurse’s desk. “And you let them go to voicemail. And then, better yet, you fucking blocked the number.”

        “I didn’t know it was the hospital,” he weakly defended himself.

        “Because you didn’t bother to find out.”

        He didn’t have anything to say to that. And not that he really could think of anything when the surgery ward’s doors swung open and they watched as a nurse wheeled Y/N’s gurney back inside the room, while another wheeled her saline bag along with. 

It was a terrifying sight to see. Her face was basically nothing but a swollen piece of flesh, bruises and scratches littering her cheeks, a neck brace to keep her head from moving while one leg was wrapped in a full-on cast, the other in one up until her knee and her left arm was in a sling.

        He’d had nightmares about her before. Most of the times it was about Y/N leaving him because she could no longer do it, could no longer commit to the hectic lifestyle that came with Harry, and as he screamed, banging on the invisible window that separated them, she just walked away, his sobs carried by the wind in the other direction.

        “You should go inside,” Anne whispered motioning with her head to where the nurses checked the monitors and how stable Y/N was. “I know you had a fight, but she’ll want you to be there when she wakes up.”

        “How,” Harry gulped back the lump that’d risen in his throat. “How do you know? How do you know she doesn’t want me to just disappear? I wasn’t there when she needed me, I was – “

        Anne put her hand on his cheek. “Because when she woke up yesterday morning for the first time, you were the first person she asked for. You. She wants you there. And it’s the least you can do for her.”

        He nodded, then took a deep breath and entered Y/N’s room. Watching her lay in the bed, unmoving, without her usual grumpy features as she slept, made Harry sick to the stomach so much so, he thought he’d have to call back the nurse.

        It was some twisted version of Sleeping Beauty, yet he knew a true loves kiss wouldn’t awaken her. Y/N just laid there, small breaths making her chest rise and fall, not even a flutter of her eyelids.

        Harry had spent countless night watching her sleep, looking at how her lashes fluttered as she dreamed of something; how her forehead creased and small, incoherent noises passed her lips as she talked to someone in her mind.

        Now, he was surrounded by none of that, only artificial reminders that she was still alive and fighting to get better.

        With uneven steps, Harry made his way to the chair which’d been stationed next to her bed (he was convinced beyond belief that Gemma, his mum and Adam had all taken shifts to sit there, to be there for Y/N), and much like a king who knew he was unfit for the throne, Harry had to swallow a lump as he took the seat.

        “I – I don’t know if you can hear me…” Harry took hold of Y/N’s palm and let out a sob of relief when he felt it was warm, not cold like he’d feared. “But I’m here for you. I’m not leaving. Not unless you want me to, so until you wake up…” there were so many words, so many apologies he wanted to say, but kept them at bay. Y/N deserved to hear them when she was conscious, so instead, he said, “I’m here, lovie. Get some rest, I’ll be here…”

        With that he put his head on the side of her bed, twisting his face so he could look up at her, watch her chest rise and fall in a steady rhythm, and fell asleep to the sound the beeps of Y/N’s beating heart.

        While he slept he dreamt again, the same terrifying dream of Y/N leaving, only this time she did look back at him, but her face was all wrong, her neck bent in a way it shouldn’t be, and eyes covered in a milky white. 

        “You weren’t there, Harry,” she said in a voice void of emotions. “So why should I be there for you?”

        Harry was 100% sure if he’d been hooked up to a heart rate monitor while he slept, people would think he was going into cardiac arrest, but it sure would’ve shown it flatlining as his green eyes swept over his lover’s frame to check his nightmare hadn’t become a reality, only to be met with two Y/E/C sparkling orbs looking back at him, giving him the softest gaze in the universe.

“Hey,” Harry’s tone was quiet, afraid to bring even the littlest of discomfort to Y/N given her state, and he had to physically restrain himself from sweeping down to bring her in a hug. 

What he saw on her face made his heart leap to his throat, as she smiled, genuinely happy to see him, lifting up her right hand, the only limb without a bandage on to cup his cheek. “Hey, love.” Her voice was scratchy like nails on a chalkboard, but to Harry, it was an absolute symphony. “Are you alright? Your eyes are puffy. Have you been getting enough sleep?”

        “Fuck,” Harry choked on his tears looking up at the white ceiling before back at her, complete disbelief in his blood-shot eyes. “You’re the one lying in a hospital bed, with casts and bandages all over you, scheduled for a third surgery, and you’re asking me if I’m alright?”

        If Y/N could, she would’ve shrugged as if that wasn’t the most self-explanatory thing in the world. “I’ll always want to know if you’re alright. ‘S not exclusively you that can care for people, you know.”

        And there she was – his sarcastic, allergic-to-kiwi-but-‘Kiwi’-loving girl that never ceased to amaze him, as she made sure everyone else was alright before herself. And that made Harry break down. 

“I’m so sorry Y/N. So fucking sorry. I – god – I – there are not enough words in any language to say how fucking sorry I am. I should’ve been here, should’ve never let you leave. This is all my fault.”

Through all that, through his choked back sobs and crying, Y/N’s hand had steadily remained on his cheek, wiping away the tears from underneath one eye before switching to the other side and making the little pearls of hurt disappear with just her touch. 

“Harry, are you the weatherman?”

That was not what he thought she would say. “I – what?”

“Do you control temperatures and have not told me?”

“N – no?”

“Were you the guy who ran the red light?”

“No.”

        “Then how is this your fault?”

        “I – “ he stammered. “I shouldn’t have let you leave. I should’ve gone after you, found a way to make you stay or – or should’ve fucking stopped being so selfish and driven you to see Adam yourself.”

        “Harry, had you tried to make me stay nothing would’ve changed.” Y/N sighed letting him lean into her touch, as she bit her lip, thinking over her words. “I was just so pissed, that I think anything you would’ve tried to do, would’ve only made it worse. And I’d rather be here with you than alone in my apartment crying in a tub of Hagen Dazs because of a broken heart.”

        “You-you've got your priorities completely backwards.” He wasn’t laughing when he said that, but Y/N was.

        “Maybe.” She raised her eyebrow. “But I don’t think so. The bones will heal, but the amount of love I have for you… I’m afraid you’ve ruined the thought of a future without you in it. We’ll talk,” Y/N swallowed hard. “We need to talk, but when I get better. Right now, I just wanna hold your hand and have you hold mine as I try not to kick the nurses trying to take my blood for tests.”

        It felt inappropriate for Harry to smile, to feel happy about how Y/N hadn’t told him to go screw himself, even though he felt like he deserved it, but fuck was it impossible not to when his body felt so light, and her love chose to invade the dark corners of his mind to fill it with golden warmth.

        She fell asleep not long after their small conversation, body too tired and in need of recovery, but like he’d promised, he was there for her when she awoke again, this time to a more familiar Y/N as she glared at the coffee cup in his hand, while he sipped, a ring clad palm gently pushing away strands of Y/H/C hair from her face.

        “I hate that you can drink coffee.”

        “Yeah, and why’s that?”

        “Because I can’t.”

        “I’ll happily buy you as many coffees as you like. Once you get better and are allowed to, of course.”

        Y/N snorted and then winced as the action caused pain to shoot through her body. “Knowing you, it won’t be a cup of coffee or a coffee machine, but a fucking coffee chain restaurant.”

        “Would it be that bad to own one?”

        Her eyebrow rose at him in an incredulous look. “You know I can’t bake. Coffee shops include pastries, and I’m not the one who worked in a bakery. I can cook, I can clean, but make me make muffins from scratch, and I’ll set your house on fire.”

        “You already did.” Harry laughed. “Gem and mum helped.”

        “They supplied the wine, so I’m putting 60% of the blame on them.”

        “You do realise that equates to 30% of the blame on each of them, and most of it is still on you?”

        “Shut up,” Y/N smiled, weakly pushing against Harry’s arm, but the motion made him happy to know she was trying. “I was just in a car crash, so forgive me for not being that great at division.”

        A knock at the door made Harry look up, Y/N not even attempting to turn her head to see who’d interrupted them, given how the first time she’d tried it with the neck-brace, it’d hurt so bad she’d passed out.

        Her doctor was a man in his mid to late fifties with greying hair, Y/N’s medical record file slapped underneath his arm.

        “How are we doing today?”

        “Better than yesterday, I guess,” she responded. 

        “Well, you were out for most of it, so I’d say so.”

        Y/N and the doctor chuckled, but Harry didn’t, as he thought of how bad, how absolutely tired a person has to be to sleep for a whole day. He’d had those days himself, and that was from being exhausted from work. He couldn't imagine what being in a bloody accident would feel like. 

        The doctor stepped forward a bit and extended a hand to Harry, introducing himself as Dr Tate, while Harry rose in his seat to accept it, but not wanting to move away an inch from Y/N.

        “You must be the boyfriend.”

        “I – uh – I can only hope I still am,” he let out a nervous giggle, which made his girlfriend slap his arm, a furrow on her face.

        Dr Tate looked Harry over from head to toe, eyebrow raised at that, but all he said was, “We tried to contact you, seeing as you’re Miss Y/L/N emergency contact, but the nurses said it couldn’t go through.”

        “He was filming overseas.” Y/N butted in, clearly having rehearsed what to say beforehand. “Flew over as fast as he could. I’m the luckiest person in the world.” Her tone was soft as a feather, but Harry’s stomach felt like it was filled with rocks. 

        “Is there anything I can help with?” he asked hoping to be given some sort of a task to do, to allow him to redeem himself some way.

        “Well, actually yes. One of the injuries Ms Y/L/N sustained was a concussion,” the doctor said, “which could lead to some complications like headaches, migraines, spotty vision or amnesia.”

“Amnesia?” Harry wanted to vomit. It had crossed his mind, but having a professional say it made it all so much worse. 

        “Yes, and we’d need someone to be with her as much as possible, 24/7 would be desirable, to keep an eye on.”

        Harry honestly hadn’t heard anything past the amnesia part, mind spinning in a circle that just screamed ‘she’ll forget all about you’.

“It’s nothing to worry about too much.” Dr Tate was quick on his feet, seeing Harry’s blank stare, and tried to diffuse any possible spiralling. “With Y/N’s cognitive abilities and having repeatedly excelled at the test without a single stutter, it’s very unlikely she’ll have those side effects. 

“But it’s still a possibility, right?”

The doctor nodded, giving Harry a kind smile. “Which is why I’m informing you of it. To keep an eye out to see if anything changes so you could come in if necessary. But as I said – Y/N’s memory has proven to be intact so far. And I always say to trust the facts.”

“Harry,” Y/N placed her hand on his. “You know I won’t forget you.”

“I’ll uh, give you two a second.” The doctor exited leaving them alone, an almost sad silence over both of them. 

“God I almost lost you to some idiot running a red light with no winter tires, and now you won’t remember me. And – and even with everything you’re going through, you’re still trying to protect me? Why did you lie? I – I wouldn’t have cared if you said the truth that I was an asshole.” Harry dragged both hands over his face, trying to keep the cry’s at bay as Y/N ran her hand through his hair in an attempt to calm him down.

“I’d prefer to think,” Y/N shrugged trying to tease him and make him crack a smile, “me being dead would be the worst-case scenario, not me forgetting you. And of course, I’ll protect you. Your reputation matters to me. Just because we had a fight doesn’t mean I’ll immediately run to everyone I can and say how shitty of a person you were in those specific ten minutes.”

But Harry’s lips didn’t quirk up, the tears didn’t disappear as the painful grimace on his face wasn’t replaced by the crow lines next to his eyes from smiling so much. “What if you – what if you forget you love me? What do I do then? I know I sound selfish and like the biggest fucking dick, but as pathetic as it is – I can’t go on without you. I don’t know how I could.”

Y/N’s heart broke at his words because if the roles were reversed if Harry forgot about her and fell out of love, she didn't know how she'd survive. She’d had those fears before, when he was away filming and she couldn’t follow; she’d been terrified because what they’d had was so new, he could easily move on, find someone better, someone who was familiar with his lifestyle. But any time those thoughts came to her mind, Y/N reminded herself of what she’d do. And that’s what she told Harry.

        “Then you make me fall in love with you again. You’re great at that. Make me love you more with every passing moment.”

        “And – and if you don’t fall in love with me again?”

        Y/N shook her head. “Impossible, Harry. You made me fall in love with you after barely two hours spent together. And well, if you put your mind to it… who knows how much deeper I’ll fall.”

        For the first time in two days, Harry leaned down and pressed his lips against Y/N’s. The kiss was soft and sweet, a barely-there touch, but it meant everything. It was a promise to one another to love unconditionally, to remind the other of it at every passing moment; it sealed their future to be spent together, and neither wanted it any other way.

        Harry’s phone rang, eliciting a whine from Y/N as he pulled away to answer it. “It’s Florence.” He pecked her lips one more time. “I’ll just tell her to call back.”

        He turned to the side for a second muttering a soft ‘hey, can you –‘ before whatever Florence told him made him pull away and extend the deivice towards Y/N.

        “It’s for you.”

        “For – for me? Florence is calling me?”

        Had the two women become friends? Yes. But didn’t mean Y/N had an easier time not fangirling about her. 

        “Hi, Flo,” she breathed out, looking at Harry with wide, happy eyes. “Yeah, I’m alright.”

        Harry sat there watching as his love talked to someone she looked up to, and someone he cared about. He hadn’t told Florence, but her encouragement meant the world to him, as she was partially the reason he’d gotten together with Y/N. After all, she’d been the one on his side from the very beginning.

        Y/N giggled like a crazy person after the call ended and she handed Harry back his phone. “Florence Pugh just called to give me well wishes.” She gasped looking at Harry. “Do you think Chris Pine will too?”

        “God, I love you,” Harry laughed with her, pressing their foreheads together.

        They’d be alright, they’d make sure of it. No matter if a disagreement arose, egos needed to be put in check or black ice covered the roads. They’d get through anything. 

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

Everything tags: @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64​ @supernaturalbaesduh​ @breezy1415​ @crazy--me​ @thatawkwardlittlefangirl​ @sea040561​ @staryeyedgirl​ @deathbyarabbit​ @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91​ @dalilx​ @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns​ @averyrogers83​ @in-the-end-im-still-trash​ @gallifreyansass​ @dewy-biitch​ @avxgers​ @unlikelygalaxygiver​ @magicwithaknife​ @ollyoxenfrees​ @bnhvrdy​ @tvwhoresblog​ @celebsimagines @thatkindofgurl​ @sj-thefan​ @teenwolflover28 @lestersglitterglue​ @im-squished​

Harry Styles tags: @sarcasticallywitty15​ @breezykpop​ @girlboss99​ @harrystylesdoesntknowiexist​ @alliyjane​ @sirtommyholland​

A/N: Listen, Linda, those pictures of Harry on set does things!!!

Also the being allergic to kiwi - that’s me. Like legit it’s the only thing I’m allergic to. I always hated how they tasted like pain, like it made my mouth sting and feel like pins and needles before going numb, and according to professionals, that’s a sign of being allergic. But I love ‘Kiwi’ the song. 

P.S. my tags are always open :)

P.S.S. I don’t take requests, sorry :(

[beomglocks]

unlikely allies ; txt x reader

part: zero, ,,,next chapter

plot: when a zombie apocalypse breaks out in your town, you're forced to team up with a group of boys from very different social standards in your school.

genre: fluff, angst, horror i guess?, not really that scary but alright, some funny moments

w/c: 3.3K

warnings: blood, gruesome scenes (kind of really detailed), cursing, everyone hates each other, definitely some major injuries, zombies duh, everyone kinda pining for mc

︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵

"yeonjun you're late...again," your history teacher sighs. you watch as choi yeonjun strolls into class like normal. "sorry teach, i didn't really wanna come."

yeonjun is the school's heartthrob. everyone likes him, at least you think everyone likes him. you wouldn't say you like him but you can see why people would. he's an asshole but a cute asshole. he really doesn't care for his studies and treats people like they owe him something.

you roll your eyes at his answer and decide to focus on the roll call for when your name is called. "choi soobin?" you see a boy with purple hair raise his hand silently. you hear yeonjun snicker from the back of the class. you watch soobin turn around to glare at the other.

"something funny choi?" he seethes. yeonjun raises an eyebrow at soobin, leaning forward in his seat, "yeah something sure is funny."

soobin gets out of his seat and strides up to yeonjun's seat, easily towering over the boy. he grabs the collar of yeonjun's hoodie and lifts him up so that he's standing face to face.

"why don't you laugh in my face then?" soobin challenges. yeonjun looks bored, not even the slightest intimidated by the taller boy.

"ha. ha .ha." he annunciates each word mockingly, smiling in soobin's face.

the next thing you know the two boys are the floor fighting one another. "hey hey hey!" your teacher runs from the front of the class to the back to break up the fight. there's already a small crowd around them and no one seems adamant on helping break the fight up.

the thing is, choi soobin and choi yeonjun are known to fight a lot. you're not sure why they hate each other so much but every time they're near each other fists start flying. who thought putting these two in a class together was a good idea.

soobin was a quiet boy, everyone knew that. somedays he'd come dressed like the fluffiest cat you'd ever seen and sometimes he'd dress like a total greaser. he could just switch up like that; just like his attitude. he was nice, from what you knew he would always participate in extracurricular activities and charity events around the school. however, because people thought he was soft they would always mess with him. he was always able to hold his own though.

"hey break it up!" you hear your teacher shout. the two boys were in their own minds continuously throwing punches at each other. you were still sat at your desk, not really caring for fights between two stupid alpha males.

your teacher somehow manages to pull soobin from yeonjun and hold him back while a friend of yeonjun's holds him back as well. both boys have a good amount of blood on their faces so you can't really tell who won.

"you're fucking weak soobs! that shit barely hurt," yeonjun teases. he has blood trailing down his hairline from when soobin pushed him to the ground and blood on his nose and around his pouty lips. "bold talk for someone who just got their ass beat," soobin spits. he too has blood on his nose and lips but he's also sporting a cut on his cheekbone, yeonjun must've scratched his face.

"enough! yeonjun go to the nurse's room to get fixed up and soobin straight to the principal's office, you'll go to nurse after he's done, you hear me!" your history teacher orders. you watch her look around the room for someone suitable enough to escort yeonjun to the nurse's office.

you silently pray that she doesn't pick on you but seeing as you were the only one not interested in the drama, her eyes fall on you. "y/n please escort yeonjun to the nurse's office, i frankly don't trust him to actually go there on his own."

you curse at her in your mind but stand up anyways. "no problem," you force a light smile.

you and yeonjun leave the class ahead of soobin. as you're walking down the hallway, you glance at yeonjun. he doesn't look angry, if anything he looks calm. "i know i'm hot but stop staring at me," he looks down at you.

you roll your eyes at him. "do you not talk? come to think of it... i didn't even know you were in my class," yeonjun looks at you quizically but with curiosity in his eyes. you know that if you don't answer him he'll keep pestering you. "we've been in the same class for the past four years," you mutter.

you can feel his eyes on you but thankfully he doesn't say anything. while you two are walking through the halls you see a boy on the floor playing with something. "what's that kid doing over there?" yeonjun asks. he's already starting to walk away from you but you grab his sweater.

"sorry yeonjun but our only destination is the nurse's office," you say to him. he looks at you with his eyes narrowed down at where you're grabbing him. you stumble back as he yanks his arm away from your grasp, striding towards the boy. you huff following him.

"hey loser, what you got there?" yeonjun looks down at the boy. the boy turns around with confusion laced on his features. he sighs, "what do you want?" he pouts.

when you reach the boy you recognize him as choi beomgyu. the kid is smart but only when he wants to be. he's in your science class and is always messing around and not actually ever doing the work. either that or he skips class to run off and experiment with random things. he's a nice guy and you sometimes ask him for help during labs since he's probably the smartest kid in your class.

"hey beomgyu, what's up?" you greet him. he turns towards you and smiles warmly. "hey y/n," yeonjun looks between the both of you and rolls his eyes. "what the hell are you doing with one of the baseball teams bats?"

beomgyu moves the bat behind him and glares at yeonjun, "i was just curious as to what makes it so hard-hitting. i've been craving my way into it but can't seem to get too far."

you crouch next to him, "maybe you should've picked up one of the metal ones. i'm pretty sure the wood ones only have wood in them. though i heard they're made with bamboo so," you shrug. beomgyu stares at you silently.

"y-yeah you're probably right...thanks y/n," beomgyu snaps out of his daze and pockets the butterfly knife he was previously using. yeonjun tsks, "cmon y/n, let's go i already lost interest." yeonjun pulls you along as you watch beomgyu wave and head to the auditorium.

"god why did we have to take the long route this is fucking boring," yeonjun complains. you sigh, hoping he'll shut up already. "do you ever not talk?" you ask him. you both are too busy glaring at each other that you don't see when someone bumps into you.

the person drops the pile of books they were holding in their hands. "ah shit," they mumble. you snap out of glaring at yeonjun to see a boy on the floor with books scattered around him. "shit im sorry! i should've been looking at where i was going," you apologize kneeling down to help the boy pick up his books.

"oh don't worry i shouldn't have taken up carrying so many books to the point where i couldn't see!" the boy's voice is so cheerful it makes you smile. you're glad he's not mad at you.

the boy is really cute too. his boyish features suit his face well and his hair is messy but looks like he stylized it that way. he's dressed comfortably in a huge sweater and baggy jeans with a molang keychain attached to one of the belt loops.

"where are you even going with all these books?" you ask. "i offered to take these back to the library for my english teacher, in hindsight i really should've just taken two or three not the whole stack." he chuckles sheepishly. he gets up, picking up as many as he can.

you pick up the rest and set them on top of the already tall stack lightly. "well good luck," you pat the stack in encouragement and it makes him lean forward a bit. he thanks you and makes his way down the hall once again.

you turn to yeonjun who was leaning against the wall watching you. "seeing you being nice to everyone is making me want to choke," he grimaces. "take notes choi."

it felt like forever since you arrived at the nurse's office. walking with yeonjun was really torture to you since he wouldn't shut up about how amazing he thinks he is.

once you walk in you both notice that the nurse isn't at her usual place at the front desk. "she went out to get more ice from the cafeteria," you hear someone speak. you both turn around and see a boy sat on one of the cots the nurse sets up for people who injure themselves.

the boy is kang taehyun, member of the baseball team. "hey tae!" yeonjun greets. taehyun raises his brow and moves the now melted ice bag from his wrist. "what's got you in here?" yeonjun asks sitting on the cot across from taehyun.

"i'd rather you not act like we're friends," taehyun states calmly. "but if you must know, i was practicing my swings and got a little too caught up. i barely noticed that i sprained my wrist." he looks down at his wrist which is slightly swollen.

kang taehyun was the baseball team's most prized possession. they really did cherish him because he was the ace of the team. he always scored home runs and when he was pitching, he always managed to get the batter to strike out. he was really talented no one could deny that. despite his hard work on the field, he was dedicated to his studies and was always at the top of all his classes. you wondered how he felt about spraining possibly the most important part of his body.

"damn, that must suck," yeonjun states, he doesn't sound apologetic at all and you wonder how that guy could have any friends. "im just here to get patched and cleaned up because that dickhead soobin decided this was fight club," he tsks. taehyun chuckles, "hope he knocked some sense into you." yeonjun rolls his eyes.

taehyun finally notices your presence by the front desk and motions you over to them by the cots. he's friendly but not someone you'd normally hang out with. "you don't look hurt?" he chides. you point to yeonjun, "i was asked to bring him here since our teacher didn't trust him to come here and well, actually arrive. since the nurse isn't here im guessing I'll have to stick around in case he tries to escape."

taehyun chuckles, "makes sense."

the room is quiet for a couple of moments, save for the ticking of the clock on the wall. you feel awkward being around two of the biggest names at your school. yeonjun is sprawled out on the cot and taehyun is still cradling his wrist. "uh...when do you think the nurse will be here?" you ask quietly.

taehyun looks up at you, "well when you got here it had been about 15 minutes since she left. she probably took a detour or something?" you nod looking at his wrist once again. "you should probably wrap that in a gauze, it'll help with the swelling," you suggest. he smiles at you, "thanks...uh?"

"y/n"

"right thanks y/n," he stands up and walks over to the cabinet to find the gauze wrap. in the meantime, you turn to yeonjun. it looks like he's sleeping but being in a class with him for 4 years has taught you better. "yeonjun."

he doesn't move. "yeonjun get up, i know you're not sleeping," you try. he sits up with a groan, "what do you want? i barely know you." for some reason you feel rage bubble up inside of you. you're not sure why either. usually, you were fine with not being noticed by the "so-called" popular kids but because of yeonjun, you were stuck in the nurse's office watching over him like a babysitter.

"why the hell did you fight soobin? if it wasn't for you i wouldn't be here talking to you right now," you say through gritted teeth. yeonjun raises an accusing brow at you, "were you not watching the fight? he threw the first punch for fucks sake." "you provoked him," you retort.

"it's not my fault he's dumb, god do i have to take responsibility for that too?" he groans laying back down on the cot. you eye him but decide to leave the conversation at that.

after your mini argument with yeonjun, you see taehyun return with the gauzes already wrapped around his wrist. "this is much better," he smiles down at his wrist. "glad i could help," you smile at him.

silence falls upon you three again until you hear a groan from outside. it doesn't really sound like a groan a human could possibly make, it sounds way to pained and low. "what was that?" taehyun asks. you shrug, "it might be the nurse." you walk over to the door and take a look outside.

the hallways on both sides are dimly lit and desolate. you can't really see down the hall because it just fades to black. you walk back inside the nurse's office. "there's no one out there and honestly, it looks way too cree-," you're cut off as a shrill scream rips through your conversation.

yeonjun sits straight up this time, "what the hell was that?" taehyun's eyes are wide with alarm, "that scream did not sound like a happy scream."

your eyes dart back and forth from yeonjun to taehyun. "i swear when i looked outside there was nothing," you say hurriedly. you're not sure why you feel panicked but you do. "check again," yeonjun tells you. you want to tell him 'no' or 'do it yourself' but you were the one to check first so you figure a second check done by you is only fair.

sighing, you walk to the door once again and look into the halls. for the second time, you don't see anything except for the darkness of the long hallways but you peer further and notice something.

all the way near the end of the hallway you see the nurse running towards her office. "hey i see the nurse," you call out to the boys. they make noises of acknowledgment and you hear yeonjun mumble a 'finally'. you keep watching her but you notice that she's running quite frantically to be considered normal. you don't say anything watching her run towards the office with confusion laced on your face.

that's when you see it. you see a figure running almost at the same speed as her but with more of a limp in their step. that's when you can hear the groaning more clearly but it's not coming from the nurse, its coming from the figure behind her.

the nurse makes the fatal mistake of tripping over her heels because she's running so wildly. her body slides a couple of feet from the door but she struggles to stand. she looks up at you and you can see that she has sweat and blood all over her face and her hair is unruly and matted.

"h-help me please!" she calls out to you. your heart is beating intensely. you don't know why she looks like this but you want to help. "y/n?" you hear taehyun call out to you. "what's going on out there?"

you bite your lip and decide to help her but as soon as you step out of the office the limping figure lurches forward and pounces on the nurse's idle body on the floor. you let out a horrified scream and step back. you can see the 'limping figure' clearer now and it seems to be one of the lunch ladies.

the only thing was that she didn't look the way she did when she served you breakfast this morning. her skin was pale and her veins were strangely very visible throughout her face and arms. her uniform was tattered and ripped as if a struggle of some sort had taken place. her face had deep scratches that had drying blood pouring out of them. her eyes were not warm, they seemed to be greyed out and she seemed very rabid.

you stood there, horrified, as the lunch lady tore through the nurse's clothes and body. you wanted to throw up as a bit of the nurse's blood was unintentionally launched at you. the lunch lady dipped her head down to use her teeth to devour the nurse's flesh in cold blood. you couldn't even rack up a sob.

it was like something out of a horror movie. except this was real life.

before the lunch lady could even finish eating the nurse, you watched as the nurse's body convulsed and thrashed violently before standing up on her own. her head was hung low and she seriously smelled disgusting.

you felt stuck as you watched both women stumble towards you before breaking out in full sprints. you flinched and shut your eyes tightly as you waited for your life to flash before them. it really felt like at any moment you would find yourself being eaten alive and convulsing into whatever monster that was.

but the feeling never came. instead, you felt your body crash against taehyun's on the floor. the only thing you could hear was the door slam shut and the screeching and groaning of whatever the hell those people were outside as they tried to get through the door.

you opened your eyes slowly and noticed that yeonjun was to one to slam the door shut, it seems like taehyun had pulled you inside.

taehyun groaned, moving to stand, "what the hell was that?" you shook your head, now having time to process what you saw. "she ate her...s-she- her body," you couldn't even finish explaining as you broke out in tears. taehyun ran a soothing hand up and down your back.

yeonjun moved away from the door. there was a tiny window on the door so you guys could see that the monsters were still trying to get in. "what the hell are we gonna do! if we go outside they'll tear us to shreds!" yeonjun too had tears streaming down his face. you have to admit you'd never seen him so vulnerable.

taehyun was the only one not crying. you could see tears in his wide eyes but they never fell. you figured he was trying to be the strong stable one in the group right now. "ok guys lets calm down. we don't know if we're the only people alive so we need to be careful." taehyun explains.

you do really feel bad for him right now. you know he's a year younger than you and yeonjun and him having to be the 'leader' at this moment must be tough.

he sighs looking at the both of you. "if we wanna make it out of here alive...we're gonna have to fight."

[honey-dewey]

Finding the Right Voice

Frankie Morales/Mute and chronically ill Reader

Word Count: 1,804

Warnings: Reader is both mute and has gastroparesis. Reader throws up once. 

After much pestering from the boys, Frankie reluctantly signs up for a dating app, intending for it to be a joke. Until he falls in love. You and him text daily, getting to know each other so intimately despite never meeting. At least, never meeting until Frankie wants to take you on a date. So how the hell are you going to explain to him that you are constantly ill and will never speak again?

Frankie had always thought dating apps were a waste of time. Who the hell actually met the love of their life through the Internet? 

Frankie Morales, that’s who. 

Of course, he’d been hesitant to tell the boys he’d found someone, mostly because he knew they’d give him shit about it. And they did, of course. But now, months after meeting someone, they realized Frankie was genuinely happy and toned the teasing down. 

“I’m just worried!” Frankie said, staring at his phone. “They haven’t responded in days.” 

“Dude,” Benny said, gesturing with his beer bottle. “They’re probably just busy. Or out somewhere with shit cell service. I dated a girl like that. She went on vacation with her parents and didn’t call for like. Two weeks. Thought she’d died. But when she got back.” He leaned back, smiling drunkenly. “The apology sex was mind blowing.” 

“Okay!” Santiago interjected, throwing an arm around Frankie’s shoulders. “You think they’re on vacay, Fish?” 

Frankie shrugged, grabbing his own beer. “I dunno. They aren’t the vacationing type.” 

William snorted from across the table. “Just like they aren’t the phone call or meet in person type?” 

Immediately, Frankie knew where this was going. “Ironhead.” 

“I’m just saying!” William pointed out. “How do we know that Catfish isn’t being, well, catfished.” 

Frankie sighed into his bottle. “I don’t wanna talk about it Will.” 

Santiago, who was somehow the voice of reason here, nudged Frankie. “You texted yet today?” 

“No.” 

“Why don’t you?” Santiago suggested. “Then leave it alone for a while. I doubt they’re meaning to leave you, they seem too nice.” 

Frankie picked up his phone and opened his texts. Aside from the group chat he had with the boys, the aforementioned number was the last one he’d texted. 

Frankie: Hey, haven’t heard from you in a bit. You doing okay? 

Twenty miles away from the bar Frankie was in, you were leaned over the toilet in the hospital, hurling away what little applesauce you’d eaten for dinner. 

Sitting back against the cold tile of the hospital bathroom wall, you sighed deeply upon hearing your phone ping. Who the hell wanted to talk to you right now? 

Of course, it was Frankie. 

Settling down in the bathroom, you unlocked your phone and texted him back. 

You: I’m so sorry Fish. I’ve been a bit sick. 

Fish: You don’t have to apologize for that. Are you feeling any better? 

You snorted softly. As if. 

You: Not really. It’s just gotten worse. Spent most of today throwing up.

Fish: You’re drinking water, right? Gotta stay hydrated. 

You snapped a photo of your half full water bottle a nurse had brought you and sent it to Frankie. 

You: Yep! Gotta finish this before I go to bed. 

Fish: That’s good

Fish: Wait a second. Are you in the hospital? 

You swore silently. How the fuck? Unless he frequented the same hospital as you, how the hell did he even know where you were from that blurry water bottle photo? 

You: Yeah, I got here today. Nothing too serious, I was just too dehydrated

You felt bad lying to Frankie, but you really didn’t want to tell him the truth. The truth was too long, too complicated. Frankie would probably leave if he learned the truth. 

Fish: I’m not too far away, if you’re at the hospital I think you’re at. Want me to drive you home when you leave? 

You: Nah. I’m staying with family rn and it’s a haul to get out there

Another lie, another stab of pain through your heart. 

Fish: Okay. I still wanna take you out though. We could get dinner and walk around the park. 

You almost started sobbing. 

You: Oh Frankie. I wish I could. 

As soon as you typed the message, you deleted it. Best not to let him think anything was wrong. Instead, you took a minute and finally replied with, 

You: That sounds lovely Fish. 

Fish: But?

You: But I don’t think I can.

Back at the bar, Frankie was slumped over the table, staring at your tiny message of rejection. 

“Dude, that’s hard,” Benny commented. “I’m starting to think Will might be right.” 

“I’m sorry?” William said, coughing as he swallowed wrong. “Say that again?” 

“No.” Benny leaned over the table and patted Frankie’s wrist. “I got nothing dude. Nothing.” 

Santiago sighed. “Why don’t we stop giving Fish a hard time?” He said, seeing the hard lines in Frankie’s face appear. “They said they were in the hospital, so maybe it’s really bad.” 

“You think?” Frankie asked, looking up with wide eyes. 

“Maybe,” Santiago said. “They might not want you to worry about them.” 

Frankie looked back at his phone, at the waiting message. He picked his phone up and typed one more message before shutting it off and pocketing it. 

Frankie: I just wish I could get to know you. For real. 

You stared at your phone, tears sliding down your face. Frankie would never know, if you could help it. He’d never know that you were so sick all the time. That you couldn’t eat anything without hurling it up hours later. That you hadn’t uttered a single word since you’d turned sixteen. That you’d never speak another word again. 

Putting your phone away, you abandoned the water bottle and shakily crawled back into bed, sobbing silently into your pillow until you fell asleep. 

The next morning, a team of nurses checked you over and deemed you okay to leave the next day. You nodded numbly, absently fiddling with a small stuffed toy as they started your laborious morning routine. 

“This came for you last night,” a nurse said as everyone left your room. She placed a worn out baseball cap and a folded note on your bed. “From a very nice gentleman who seemed rather heartbroken.” 

The nurse left, leaving you to grab the cap and the note. 

The cap was worn out, the edges all frayed and the logo on the front nearly illegible. The note was in much better condition. 

Hey. 

So, I’m sorry about what I said last night, and I feel like a text wouldn’t have made it better. This is my favorite hat. It’s seen some shit, just like me. And just like you, I think. 

Look, last night, I sounded like a dick. I want to make it up to you, I really do. But I don’t know how to take you on a date or anything. I sure hope it isn’t because of me that you don’t want to meet. I know my nickname is Catfish but I promise I’m who I say I am. 

Tomorrow, I get off work early. If you’d let me, can I pick you up and take you out? Or at least take you back to my place for a movie or something? Please. 

Love, your Frankie. 

You ran your fingers over the lettering, memorizing how Frankie wrote every single word. Maybe, maybe it was time to open up. The worst that could happen was rejection. 

Scooping your phone up, you texted Frankie back. 

You: Tomorrow at 4, that’s when they discharge me. Get here early tho, I have some stuff to explain.

The next twenty four hours were hell for the both of you. You were both plagued by so much anxiety it was hard to do even the most basic of tasks, but you managed. Eventually, you received the text you’d been dreading all day. 

Fish: I’m here. Visiting room B. 

You took a deep breath. All your personal belongings were in a drawstring bag you put over your shoulder. You headed out of your room and slowly down the hall, towards the visiting room. 

Opening the door was the hardest thing you’d ever done. 

Once you’d opened the door, you stopped in the doorway, taking Frankie in. 

He looked exactly the same as he did in his photos. Tall, handsome, kind. He smiled upon seeing you, and you swore your heart stopped. 

“Hello,” Frankie said, moving towards you and holding out his hand.

Hello you signed, waiting for Frankie’s reaction. 

He paused, his hand falling to his side. “Mute?” 

You nodded. 

Frankie simply smiled again. “So that’s why you don’t like phone calls,” he said. “It’s okay. I know some ASL.” He paused, taking you in. “Can I hug you?” 

Yes please.

He wrapped you in a warm hug, allowing you to collapse into him. Months of text messages and listening to his voice mails were nothing compared to this. 

Eventually, he pulled away, and you two sat on the uncomfortable couch. 

“So what’s with the tube?” Frankie asked, gesturing to your face. 

You pulled a whiteboard out of your bag and began to write, going slowly so you spelled everything right. 

I have a condition called gastroparesis. My stomach is paralyzed and won’t move food to my intestines. I “eat” through a port in my side and this tube in my nose leads to my stomach, so whatever I drink can be drained out. I went mute before I got diagnosed with this.

“Oh.” Frankie blinked a few times. “So I guess dinner is off the table too.” 

You snorted, laughing as best you could with no voice. No dinner. you signed happily. But a movie would be nice.

“A movie it is,” Frankie said, standing. “C’mon. I’ve got a bunch of movies at my place. And I think the boys are coming over tonight.” 

You stood, following Frankie to his beat up old truck. He talked your ear off about all sorts of things while he drove home, and it wasn’t until he’d pulled into the driveway that you’d remembered his hat. 

Close your eyes. You signed, digging around in your bag. 

Frankie did, laughing when you snuggly placed his hat on his head. 

“Thank you,” he said, taking your hands. “I was really worried you’d catfished me at first. I didn’t know what to think when you didn’t want to call or meet. I dunno, I just thought you weren’t, y’know, you.” 

You shook your head, pulling your hands out of his. I wouldn’t dream of it.

Frankie smiled. “I love you.” 

I love you too Fish.

That night was the happiest you’d been in years. Frankie’s friends were all amazing people, and all three of them immediately overlooked your muteness and illness. You were happy and Frankie was happy. To them, that was all that mattered. 

“So Fish,” Santiago said, leaning across the couch to nudge Frankie’s bicep. “Aren’t you glad we forced you to download that dating app?” 

Frankie looked at you, curled up under his other arm, sipping water and waiting for the feed bag with your dinner in it to finish draining into your port. You looked up at him, smiling and nestling closer. 

“Yeah. I am.”

[canvas-the-florist]

Two Halves Make a Whole

Ship(s): Romantic Logince, Background Platonic Moxiety, Platonic Dukeceit, Creativitwins (they’re all friends okay I make the rules)

Warnings: Swearing, blood mention and mutilation of meat, alcohol mention, NSFW mention (not that much just like… saying someone had sex in a sentence), food mention, possible second hand embarrassment

Summary: The thing about idioms is that Logan has a hard time understanding them metaphorically, and tends to stick with the more logical reasons. Which can be confusing to the others when he starts calling Roman his “other half”. (Thank you to @hteragram-x for letting me use their post as inspiration <3)

Word Count: ~2.7k

-

   They had just finished up recording a video. Something about accepting trauma and accepting that you’re allowed to move on from it. Thomas went up to his room for a nap while Patton walked over to sit by Virgil on the stairs. Roman wrapped his arm around Logan’s shoulders with a big smile. “You did so well, Pocket Protector! Not as well as me but I’m sure you’ll catch up soon!”

   Logan rolled his eyes and moved out from under Roman’s arm and crossed his. “Thanks. You were… adequate as well. Despite messing up a three sentence line five times.”

   Roman let out a loud scoff attracting the attention of Patton and Virgil. Patton covered up a laugh with a cough that wasn’t very convincing. “It was a very difficult line, Logan! How dare you accuse Creativity of messing up!”

   “Did Princey mess up another line?” Virgil asked from his place on the stairs. Patton punched his arm, muttering that it was rude. “I’m just asking a question, Pops. I’m not intending to be mean.”

   “Virgil!” Roman was red in the face with embarrassment and turned back to Logan who had a small smile. Roman’s face softened slightly over his little giggle before remembering he was supposed to be upset. “Logan you sicked Virgil on me!”

   “I do not believe that Virgil is sick. If he is, we should attend to that immediately.”

   “That was an expression, Alan Boring.” Roman corrected. “Do you want me to add a vocab card?”

   “Yes, thank you.” Roman gave a thumbs up and sunk out. Logan walked over to the remaining sides. “Well, my other half is working on that I believe we should cover what to do to keep Thomas healthy during the editing process for the video.”

   Virgil fell down a step causing Patton to fall to the ground completely. Virgil coughed and moved back up while Logan just looked confused. “Your other half?”

   “Yes?” Logan pulled out a vocab card. “There is a theory that the brain is composed of two parts, logic and creativity. Two halves making a whole person. While this is not factual I thought the idiom would work with Roman and myself. Is that not correct?”

   “Logan-” Virgil started but Patton cut him off.

   “That’s really sweet that you’re picking up nicknames like Roman and I! I’m sure that Roman would appreciate it. Too bad he wasn’t here to see or understand your quip.”

   At this point Roman showed up with about three index cards in his hands. He walked over to the others staring at his cards as he moved. “Okay so I made the card but then I got distracted and doodled on these ones but I think they turned out okay. So, I want Patton’s validation on- Wait are you guys talking about the schedule without me? Rude.”

   “My apologies, Roman, we haven't covered anything important yet as I had to explain a joke but I would like your contributions to this conversation as well.” Logan gave a smile and Roman tightened his grip on the cards. “Are you going to hand me the card, Roman?”

   “Oh yeah, here you go.” Roman had a crush and didn’t want to do shit about it.

   The talk took awhile. Especially after Janus and Remus joined which was just chaos disguised as two sides. But that wasn’t the only chaos afoot! A few hours after the meeting and a lot hours past when Thomas should have been asleep, Virgil walked to Patton’s room, knocking on the door softly. Worried that he was too quiet he was about to knock again when the door swung open. Virgil quickly backed up to avoid accidentally punching Thomas’s morality.

   “Uh, hey Patton. Can we talk?” He asked, now fidgeting with his hands.

   Patton gave a concerned look but nodded and moved out of the way to let Virgil in. He closed the door and turned to Virgil with a comforting smile. “You seem nervous, kiddo. Why don’t you hold one of those plushies? That usually helps me.”

   He grabbed a bean filled one that looked like a tiny elephant without a mouth and beads for eyes. Virgil tossed it in between his hands for a few moments while Patton sat down across from him. “I’m just going to get into it before I talk myself out of it. Why didn’t you tell Logan about him using a pet name for Roman?”

   Patton blinked before smiling. “Oh, I wasn’t expecting that. Well, that’s an easy one Virgil! I think that this will be good for Logan. Using nicknames is something that an emotional side would do. This might be his way of opening up.”

   “Are… Are you sure? This seems more like… Deceit’s thing.”

   “Well, his name is Janus, Virgil and we don’t see eye to eye but I think that Logan becoming honest with his emotions is a good thing. You don’t agree and you can tell him if you want. I won’t take that from you. Just consider it.”

   Virgil held the elephant up to his face and sighed. He pulled up his legs so he was able to rest his chin on his knees. “I guess it would be embarrassing to know you’ve been using a word with romantic connotations without knowing it…” He made direct eye contact with Patton who was listening to what Virgil had to say. “You think this is going to be good for him?” He nodded and Virgil dropped his legs back to the ground. “Okay, we won’t tell him. I’ll tell him if he asks but if you think this is the right thing to do, I trust you.”

   “Thank you, Virgil.”

-

   Janus, Roman, Logan, and Patton were having a picnic in the imagination. Virgil and Remus decided not to go for separate reasons. Virgil mumbled something unintelligible and hissed at Janus before sinking out quickly while Remus was busy painting over a copy of Vincient Van Gogh’s “Two Rats” with what seemed to be blended pork rinds and blood. Janus had a cup of wine, Patton had a capri-sun, Roman had a lemonade, and Logan just had water. They were having a… civil conversation on whether 100 lions or 100 pokemon would win in a fight.

   “Bitch you know that pokemon would win!” Roman yelled pointing at Janus dramatically, who was nursing his wine. “They have magic powers! Lions are just animals!”

   Janus took a sip and let out a laugh. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Pokemon are over glorified rats at most.”

   “Why do they have to fight at all?” Patton asked, pretending not to enjoy Janus and Roman having a conversation that wouldn’t end in tears. He was genuinely upset about the fighting even if it meant two of his friends were finally interacting. “Couldn’t they just be friends?”

   “Do I have to be the one to point out that pokemon don’t exist?”

   Roman stuck out his tongue and picked up his glass again. “It’s the principle of the thing.”

   “Very well, if my other half says so. The lions would win.” Logan reached for an orange slice calmly as Janus raised an eyebrow. Roman was so offended by Logan’s side of the story that he didn’t even notice Patton trying not to choke on his drink.

   “Oh so you’re on the Lying King’s side?”

   “Lions hunt in a group and as I understand pokemon they fight one at a time in a turn based system. For a fight the lions would have a higher advantage.” Logan put the slice in his mouth while Roman narrowed his eyes.

   “What about legendaries?!”

   The fight continued for thirty minutes and Patton decided that the picnic was over. Janus came back to the dark side and hung up his cape in his room. He turned to Remus. “How did the painting go?”

   “Oh just wonderful, the entrails made a smiley face! Look!” Remus held up the canvas too close to Janus’s face. He took a step back and looked it over. If it wasn’t covered in guts it did look rather intriguing and interesting to look at. Janus clapped his hands together.

   “It looks amazing, Remus. Better than the original!” Janus wasn’t lying (for once) because it was just a shitty thing to do when someone is asking for feedback on art.

   “Thanks Jan! How’d the orgy with the light sides and my brother go?”

   Janus shrugged. “Just detestable. The sandwiches lacked but I did find out some information. Were you aware that your brother and Logic are dating?”

   Remus put his hands to his cheeks with an over dramatic gasp. “You’re telling me that little Roman is boning the nerd?! This is the best thing that’s happened since radiation poisoning!”

   “Yeah, I agree. So, want to watch Into the Woods?”

   “Is that even a question dipshit?!”

-

   Roman, Remus, and Logan were going over the storyboards for the next Sanders Sides. Creativities and Logic. It was going well, and Roman was feeling confident that it was going to be fun, even if they definitely weren’t getting it out on time. Logan got up and stretched.

“We’ve been working for two hours and 37 minutes we should take a break. I will bring us snacks. Do you want anything?”

   “Strawberries.”

   “No thanks I brought my own.”

   “Okay, strawberries for my other half and an empty glass for Remus.”

   “Thanks Logan!” Roman hadn’t taken his eyes off the notes, scanning for any discrepancies or something that could be done better while Remus looked over his shoulder taking a bite of deodorant. They stayed in silence for a second before Roman felt Remus staring at him and finally looked up. “What?”

   “So how long have you and Logie-Poo been having sex?”

   “I… what? We’re not- Why would you assume that???” Roman’s face went red and looked incredulously at his brother.

   “Jan-Jan told me that you and Logan have been ‘dating’ two weeks ago. And he just called you ‘his other half’ like a gay person. Are you not…” Remus made a lewd gesture with his hands.

   “No! We’re not… Wait… his other half? Did, did Logan really call me that?”

   “Wow! You’re really oblivious!”

   “Umm, shut up!” Roman’s face turned red as he hid it in his hands, completely flustered and unsure how to react to the situation. Had Logan been hitting on him for two weeks? Had it been longer than that? Remus laughed at him and hit his back. Roman rolled his eyes and sat back up. “What should I even do about this? I’m kind of tempted just to hide this in the back of my head for five years or some sort of grand gesture… Those are romantic, right?”

   “Or you could just make out with him! Well, consensually.” Roman punched him and Remus just kept giggling. “He HAS been calling you a disgustingly cute pet name for a LONG ASS time, dude… Haha ass…” Remus seemed to space out after that so Roman sunk out and appeared again in the living room. And Logan just so happened to be reading a book on the couch. Roman blushed again and cleared his throat.

   “Logan I need to talk to you.”

   He raised an eyebrow, closing his book after putting in a bookmark. Roman’s fist clenched around his sash to calm his nerves. “You wouldn’t NEED to talk to me for any reason so I’m going to assume you mean that you have some information to convey to me?”

   “I… umm, yeah.” Roman took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “Why… Why have you been calling me your ‘Other Half’?” He leaned his head back and tried to calm down. He’s had a crush on Logan for a while and there was a sliver of a chance it might be reciprocated. Roman kind of felt like crying.

   “Oh, that?” Logan took a deep breath in and smiled, not that Roman could see. “Well, there’s an incorrect theory about the right and left hemispheres of the brain being logic and creativity. Therefore, you would be my other half.”

   Roman didn’t look at Logan, trying not to feel too disappointed. “That makes sense. Thanks for telling me, Logan. I’ll see you later…” His hand dropped to his side and he got ready to sink out, focusing only on his breathing. He made eye contact with Logan to see genuine confusion on his face. Roman gave a smile and began sinking out-

   “Roman wait!” He stopped. Logan had stood up and ran up to him. “Is that not what you wanted? I’m going to be direct because this is confusing to me but… Roman do you reciprocate romantic feelings for me? Because I really want to date you!”

   He didn’t respond immediately. Roman searched Logan’s face and he seemed to be meaning this. The passion on his face almost made Roman melt. He nodded slightly and decided for the first and only time to take Remus’s advice. Roman leaned towards Logan, grabbing his tie, and kissed him.

-

  The sides were hanging out in the kitchen while they were all working together to make a fam-ILY dinner. Virgil was tapping his foot nervously while vaguely listening to whatever Remus was ranting about. Patton and Janus were putting together the ingredients for a vegetable pie (excluding carrots of course) while Logan was making orange juice. Roman sat on the counter bantering with Janus. He laughed loudly and boldly, wiping a tear from his eye when his snake friend made a particularly bad pun.

   “Roman, my other half, would you please pass over the raspberries?” Logan asked easily. Virgil grumbled nervously, looking over at Patton, who was in a flour-based food fight with Remus. He sighed loudly and walked over Logan, finally cracking.

   He breathed in, ringing his hands. “Logan you’ve been calling Roman a pet name this entire time! The left brain right brain thing isn’t why people say my other half! I’m sorry for not telling you but Patton said to!”

   Roman and Logan looked at each other before looking back at Virgil. Roman quietly handed the raspberries to Logan before giving a soft smile. “Didn’t you know? Logan and I have been together, Storm cloud. It’s been a pet name this entire time.” Janus snickered to himself while putting the pie in but decided not to say anything.

   “You have?” Virgil asked.

   Logan nodded. “Yes, Virgil. Roman and I are indeed in a romantic relationship. Now, we’re going to set the table. Grab the plates?”

   Virgil stayed speechless, frozen in the kitchen until he got hit on his shoulder with flour. Roman got out the forks and walked to the table while Logan continued stirring the orange juice concentrate. After the pie finished, Patton helped serve everyone. Virgil stayed silent, with his forehead leaning on the table in shame. Eventually he started joining the conversation, ignoring his own embarrassment.

   When everyone finished up dinner. Logan volunteered to wash the dishes and Roman was the slowest to put away the food, leaving the two of them alone in the kitchen. Roman gave Logan a hug from the back.

   “Your adorable, Logan.”

   “It’s ‘you’re’, Roman.” He corrected calmly, cleaning off a plate.

   “What? How did you- never mind. You ARE adorable, Logan. Even when you’re acting like a smartass.” Logan chuckled and twisted back to face Roman. He wrapped his arms around Roman to make it a full hug. “This is nice. I’m glad we’re dating.”

   “Even when I’m a smart ass, like you said.”

   “Even then.”

Taglist: @bullet-tothefeels @logan-sanders-enthusiast @local-art-cryptid @lizzy-lineart @jasmine-loves @justanonymous @enby-wizard @openthedoorplease @crossiantgay @meowthefluffy @as-the-stars-foretold @sablesides @thedukeofdeodorant-main

[rantingwriter]

Accidentally in Love (Hawks x Civilian Reader) pt. 4

Trigger Warning: strong language, long hospital stay, and angst if you squint.

“No, I’m serious,” You are laughing so hard you nearly drop the little brush you were using to paint your nails. You were listening to your fellow patient and quickly rising to new friend status, Hime, tell you and another patient you were starting to befriend named Ayame, about the time a patient went up to every female therapist and asked them out. “I watched this guy go up to Yumi and ask if he could have her number. When she said no, because he is her patient, without missing a beat he asked her.” She takes on the pose the guy pulled during the exchange and mimics the voice as closely as possible, “so when I leave on Friday I can come back and ask again? And at that same moment, her husband walks in and says-”

“You’ll have to buy dinner for three then.” Yumi had been listening and helped to finish the story. 

Hime fake gasps in shock, “you stole the best part!” 

The whole table laughs and the nice recreation therapist takes a look at your progress. “Very nice, I like the colors you chose.” You had gone with your favorite color and added a neat little sticker to both middle fingers. 

“Thanks, I wanted to flip people off with style,” you half joke as you blow at the polish to speed up the drying process. 

She chuckles, “I’ll have to keep that one in mind next time I get mine done. How about you two?” She looks between Ayame and Hime to check their progress. 

“I kept it simple with a dark blue, [y/n] promised to help with my hand.” Hime was missing an arm and had gauze around half of her face. The doctors still don’t know if her eye will be fully functioning or if she will need to be fitted for a glass one once they remove the gauze. “It’s been a royal pain trying to paint my toenail instead of my whole toe.” 

“It’ll take time to adjust, but you did really well.” Yumi praises.

“I went with teal and tried that crackle stuff,” Ayame holds her hand up as high as she can. She had a spinal injury that affected her upper body. She was working to regain mobility, but it was still unclear if she would ever regain all of it or just part of it. She still has a molded jacket on so she can only focus on her arms for now anyways.  

Yumi leans forward to get a closer look, “Very nice, much better than last time,” you can hear how excited she is to see the progress. “Maybe next time we can try those stamps.” 

“We’ll see,” she rests her hands fully on the table and hefts a sigh. “It’s still hard to hold my arms up for longer than a few seconds.” 

“Remember when you started? You couldn’t hold up your wrist, you are doing great and don’t you forget it. Same goes for you two, I’ve heard you started standing without the parallel bars [y/n].” 

You nod in confirmation, “they still need to adjust my prosthetic, or I’ll be pulling a Captain Morgan every time I stand up.” This gets a chuckle from the people who drank rum or at least seen the commercials. “Once the adjustment is made, Mayu told me we would try walking.” 

“I wish you luck, I’ll be rooting for you.” She holds her arms up like she is going to start a cheer. 

“Miss? Can you show me how this works again?” A man at another table waves to catch Yumi’s attention. 

“Be right there! Keep up the good work,” with that the young woman hurries over to help the other patients. 

“Alright, I think my nails are dry enough now.” You pick up the bottle Hime had been using and gesture for her to hold her hand out. 

She does so and Ayame takes the chance to ask, “so, what’s the deal with you and that Hawks guy?” 

You shrug, “he just likes to visit, why do you ask?” Your gaze never leaves your task as you speak.

“Rumor has been going around that you two are dating,” your hand jerks up and you end up painting part of Hime’s pinky. 

“What? That’s ridiculous,” you quickly grab a cloth to wipe away the excess. Unaware that your cheeks are burning hot with a blush. “Why would I be dating a pro hero?” 

“He is easy on the eyes, could probably get you anywhere you want to go for free, and on the top ten leaderboard. Sounds like a good deal to me,” Hime comments, earning a slight deadpanned look from you.

“He barely has enough free time to make visits, I highly doubt he has the time to date. Besides, he is the guy who crashed into me and gave me a concussion, not exactly the best first impression.” You try to wave it off, but deep down a small bud of feelings was starting to grow for the winged hero. “If anything, I appreciate him for his help and would be happy to have him as a friend...for free trips.” You add on the last part quickly earning a snicker from the two girls. The group wraps up shortly after you finish Hime’s hand, the three of you go your separate ways to rest up before the afternoon groups. You weren’t expecting to make friends while you were hospitalized, but the three of you ended up bonding rather quickly. Both girls were like you, they were here because of that villain attack. Their injuries were different, but they understood the frustration and the struggle better than anyone. It has really helped you, especially on the days where you feel like you can’t get out of bed. As you roll into your room, a faint tap on your window alerts you to a visitor. You sigh a chuckle as you open up the window for Hawks to come in. “You know, they have this magical entrance known as a door.” 

He rolls his eyes, holding in a smile as he sets a bag of food down on the little table. “Where’s the fun in that?” He tugs his gloves off and shucks off his jacket. “It’s getting warmer and warmer out there,” he is visibly sweating and his messy, windswept hair is clinging to his forehead. He fans himself with a wing as he flops into the chair near your bed, “what have you been up to?” 

“Just finished up a group,” you show off your nails, he nods idly as he looks at them. 

“That’s considered therapy?” 

“Well, I only went because two of my new friends were going and they needed it more than me.” You hefted yourself into your bed, “remember the girls I told you about last time you were here?” 

“Hime and Ayame?” You nod in confirmation. 

“Yumi said it’s good practice for them to work on smaller, more precision based tasks.”

“I guess it makes sense when you spin it that way.” 

You nod again and peek into the bag he brought. “Did you buy one of everything off the menu?” 

He laughs and shakes his head, “no, I thought about it, but no.” He grabs the container taking up most of the bag. “I figured we could share.” He opens it up to show it holds fried chicken. 

“Is that all you eat? I feel like you bring fried chicken every time.” 

“No, it’s my favorite, but I eat other stuff too.” His feathers ruffle up and his cheeks puff out, you can’t help the bubble of laughter at the sight. “If you don’t like it, I’ll jus-” You snatch a piece before he can pull it out of reach.

“I didn’t say that,” he snickers as you take a huge bite. “Anything is better than hospital food.” 

“It can’t be that bad,” he uses his feathers to move the table so you both can reach comfortably. 

“I guess the jello is okay, but the rest of it is barely palatable.” He shakes his head, “I swear, it’s like they took goo and shaped it into food.” 

The two of you continue to talk while you eat, you give him an update on your progress, he talks about his daily patrols. You have grown to love his visits, even if they weren’t as frequent as you would like them to be. “So, I’ve been curious,” he wipes his hands and face clean after finishing the last of the chicken. “What is your quirk?” 

“I can make cloth,” you hold up a hand to show tiny holes in your fingers, “I run thread through my fingers and it weaves together.” His brows lift in amazement, “I’ve earned the nickname of human sewing machine at my old workplace.” 

His brows knit together in confusion, “don’t looms make cloth?” 

You could hear the loading sounds in your head as you think about it, “oh shit, I’ve been living a lie!” 

Laughter fills the room, one of the nurses in the hall checking in on you, “everything all right in here?” 

“Yes, sorry if we are being loud,” you wipe a tear from your eye, still giggling softly. The nurse acknowledges both your statement and the hero in the room before leaving to continue their original task. “Man, I don’t know why that never occurred to me until now.” 

“If it makes you feel any better, when I started flying I would run into windows constantly.” 

“No way,” you look skeptical as he continues.

“I’m serious, I thought the buildings just had openings and I would smack into the window.” 

“Do you still do that?” He gets really quiet, his feathers give him away as you fall back on the bed laughing. 

“Only when I’m tired!” He tries to back pedal, but to no avail. “Anyways…” he shifts the conversation back towards you. “The reason I was asking was to see if it was anything like this guy I know; Best Jeanist.” 

You tap your chin, he has been helping you learn some of the more prominent heroes, at least when the two of you are talking about his work stuff. “He’s...the guy with a super long neck right?” 

“Long collar, but close enough, he can manipulate people’s clothing.” 

You shake your head, “I can’t really manipulate the cloth, I can manipulate threads, but it’s limited.” You look around the room for something to showcase your ability. “If I had some spools I could show you. I don’t want to mess with the hospital stuff.” 

“I’ll bring some next time I visit!” He looks excited, his wings fluttering lightly. His phone suddenly rings, he quickly answers and frowns, “Damn, I gotta go, they need back up to catch a villain robbing jewelry stores.” He pulls his jacket on, a thump from something in his pocket reminds him of something else. “Shit, I forgot,” he pulls out a can of WAX coffee and hands it to you. “Hope it’s not too hot.” 

You take the can and smile, “Thank you.” He gives you a two fingered salute as he falls out the window backwards. You watch him fly off to aid whoever called him, you hate to admit it, but you miss him already. 

[obx-saltlife]

Can’t Quit You

gif credit goes to always awesome @ptersparkers​ This came outta nowhere, tbh. I was thinking about the fake dating trope and it kind of evolved into this. I kind of wish I had enough to make it a longer thing but I think I’m gonna leave it as it is for now. Warnings: Smut, obviously. Fluff, if you squint. But like, really squint. Oral sex (female receiving) and dirty talk, I guess. If you’re not comfortable, don’t read, etc etc etc. Ward is strange and I don’t know how to write him. Word count: 2.5K+ Rafe x Reader smut.

Was this actually real fucking life?

It couldn’t be. Not really.

It couldn’t be that you were here, in a car with Rafe and Wheezie, heading to The Island Club for the annual Midsummer’s party. When Rafe had come to you to ask about it, you thought he was certifiably insane. You guys had broken up almost two months ago, after a screaming match where you both said less than desirable things about one another; things you weren’t so sure you’d ever come back from. It had been extremely awkward seeing as you saw each other around the island often, not to mention Sarah was one of your closest friends.

You had both only very recently started talking to each other again, at least in a civil manner. And really, mostly because you had recently started making appearances at the Cameron house again. Never mind asking each other for favors, that was definitely new in this new dynamic between you. And wasn’t that exactly what this was, just a favor? When Rafe had stopped by your house one night, waiting for you on the porch as you stumbled home from drinking with Sarah, John B. and the rest of their crew. He had looked so sincere; it threw you off balance for a moment.

“Listen, I know I have no right to...or…fuck me, I need you to…” he ran his hands through his hair, making you notice the lack of hair gel in it and how long it had gotten. He continued running a hand over his face and growled deep in his throat before you put your hand on his shoulder and he began to calm down.

“Just ask whatever you want to ask, Rafe,” you said softly, your buzz still flowing through you body as you made polite conversation with him for the first time since your big blow-up. You sat beside him on your porch at 2AM and listened to what he had to say.

“Midsummer’s is coming up and Ward wants all of us to show up as some big happy fucking family because he’s getting an award or something and if I show up alone it’s just another reminder that I’m the family fuck-up and it’s gonna be a fucking wreck…because I haven’t really told anyone that we’ve broken up, except I guess Sarah knows but she hasn’t said anything so I’ve kind of just let it go…and well, Ward and Rose like you, and I told them…Can you come with me? I’ll do whatever you fucking want. Whatever it takes…give you head for hours…I’ll let you use those handcuffs on me…I’ll-“ you laugh and put your hand over his mouth to stop his rambling.

“I’ll come. Of course I’ll come.” You said, taking your hand way. “I wouldn’t want to disappoint Ward,” you added with an eye-roll, really meant to be sarcastic but you know how hard he took Ward’s criticism and even if you had ended things with Rafe he didn’t deserve half of the shit he got from his father.

And now, now you were on your way, in a fancy dress with you hair done and your makeup done as good as it was going to get with the humidity and the summer heat. You felt a little awkward that Wheezie had decided to hop in Rafe’s truck with the both of you. She kept throwing you and Rafe looks from the back seat as if something sketchy was going on.

Walking in to the party, it was just like any other Island Club party you’d ever been to with Rafe. Various Cameron Family friends nursed drinks as they nibbled on expensive hors d’oeuvres being passed around. You’d never actually been to a Midsummer’s party though; you hadn’t been officially together with Rafe for last year’s so you relished in the fact that everyone was dressed up to the nines and enjoyed the fancy party.

Food at these kinds of Island Club parties was legendary. They obviously didn’t scrimp when it came to food choices. You were just about to grab another amazing little puff pastry filled with something you weren’t sure what it was (but you were also not going to ask) when you felt Rafe’s hand on your lower back as he stepped up beside you.

He looked fucking good in his suit, you couldn’t lie. You smiled up at him and reached up to straighten his bowtie. “Having fun?” you asked, feeling the tension radiating off of him. His fingers dug into your skin and he looked around. You definitely knew that look.

“Yeah…no…fuck no-“ he said, looking down at you. “I’m sorry I asked you to do this, it’s so pointless. No matter what I do-“

You didn’t have to look over to know that Ward had walked up to both of you.

“Jesus, Rafe. Can’t you stay away from the bar for fifteen minutes?” You both turned to see Ward’s face pulled in tight. You felt Rafe tense beside you.

“Nice you see you again, Mr. Cameron.” You offered with a small smile, trying to difuse the tension and shaking his hand lightly.

“And what have I told you about calling me Mr. Cameron? Ward is just fine.” He smiles aggressively at you before you stepped back and grabbed Rafe’s hand in yours, giving it a small squeeze.

“Hey Dad, ready to go talk to the Walkers about that deal?” Rafe slid his other hand into his pocket and nodded his head at his father.

“Yeah, glad you and your date could make it out tonight, it’s an important night for the family.” Ward chuckled softly.

“Oh! That reminds me…” You said, shaking your head. You tossed back the champagne flute you were holding before handing the empty glass to Rafe and reaching into your small bag.

“I forgot I was holding on to this,” you added, pulling out a small card and an even smaller velvet drawstring bag. “My grandmother said Knights of the Rhododendron used to pin these to their lapels when she was a member here. Nobody in my family’s going to use it so…just a gift from Rafe and I, I guess.” You said, handing the small bag over to Ward.

Rafe looked at you questioningly but you just shook your head as Ward opened the card and then the small little pouch. Inside, a small, silver, leafy-flower shaped pin. “Thought you might like something, other than that big medal to go with the honor tonight. I should’ve given it to you before walking in but I forgot.”

“Wow, this is great! Rafe, you think you can help me pin it on?” He demanded, handing Rafe the pin and pointing the left side of his chest towards his son. Rafe pinned it on his lapel before stepping back. “Glad you understand how important tonight is, son. This is a great gift.”

“Yeah…yeah, of course.” Rafe swallowed, looking down at you. You looked up at him, flashing him a cute smile and a wink. He leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to your lips, grateful that you played along and didn’t act as surprised as he felt he was acting right then and there.

“Well, make sure you keep this one, Rafe. She’s good for you. I like her better than the revolving door of girls you keep trying to bring around.” Ward said before waving at someone in the crowd. You didn’t really know what to make of his statement and if you were confused, you knew Rafe was too. Ward was very strange; you didn’t really know how to act around him half the time. But it was important that you stepped it up tonight, even for Rafe’s sake.

“Excuse me, you two, come by our table later, I’d like to introduce you to some people Rafe.” He added before walking away.

“That was a fucking beast move you pulled there”, he said looking down at you. “You really thought of everything, didn’t you?”

“I figured a little sweet-talking wouldn’t hurt. Plus it was true; nobody in my family was going to use that. I saw it on the mantel and figured to put it to use. I knew he’d eat that shit up.”

“You really saved my ass. Listen...-“

“Rafe!” Topper interrupted whatever he was about to say. “Come check this out, bro!”

“You better go before he does something dumb.”

“Can we talk later?”

“Rafe!”

“Of course, Rafe. Go!” You said with a laugh and pushed him towards his friend with a laugh. He gave an exaggerated sigh and went, leaving you with tingling lips and something resembling desire pooling in the pit of your stomach.

You watched Rafe with his friends. Topper and Kelce pulling him along as he laughed with them. You shook your head, smiling, glad to see him have a semblance of happiness in his life. Why was it that at that very moment, you couldn’t remember for the life of you, why you had ended thing with Rafe?

Why was it, that all you could think about was his lips on yours? If you were going to make it through the rest of the night you really had to stop thinking about that. You shook your head and headed for the bathroom to splash some cold water on your face.

Fixing your lipstick in the mirror, you heard the door open and close and looked over, surprised to find Rafe.

“Did you know you’re in the wrong room?” You asked with a laugh as you put your lipstick back in your purse. Rafe walked over and pushed each bathroom stall door open before going back to the restroom door and locking it before crossing the small distance towards you in three long strides. He grabbed your face in his hands and leaned down; pressing his lips to yours in a passionate mix of want and need.

You breathed a sigh when he pulled away breathless, lips swollen. “Rafe…”

“God, that was fucking sexy, you know…” he asks, his hands running down your sides, stopping at your hips. He lifted you and placed you on the small vanity table you could always find in fancy hotel bathrooms.

“You show up, looking like a whole ass fucking meal. You impress everyone I give remotely two shits about.” He starts murmuring, placing kisses against your throat, his hands coming up to pull some of the fancy pins out of your hair.

“I’ve been half hard all night long and I can’t do this anymore.” He pulls back to look down at you, bunching up your dress at your hips and revealing the lace pair of panties you’re wearing.

“Now,” he starts, sinking down to his knees, lifting your legs and hooking them over his shoulders. “You can say no, if you want.” He said, as he started peppering soft kisses along your thigh. “But I actually think I might die if I don’t get to eat your pretty little pussy right now.” His eyes searched yours for a yes or a definite no. You lick your lips, no use in denying how wet you already are as you nod at him, giving him the full go ahead.

“Thank fucking god”, he groans as he tests a lick over your panty-covered slit. His hands flutter for a moment before he shrugs and rips at the lacy material at your hips, letting it fall to shreds on the table. “Don’t even – I’ll buy you another fucking pair, don’t get mad.” He said before he buries his face between your legs.

Rafe’s large tongue licks straight up your slit, collecting your sweet slick with a groan. A gasp falls from your lips, feeling his lips vibrate with the sound. Your fingers go straight into his hair, holding him in place. How was it even possible that you’d forgotten how good he was with his tongue?

“God, you taste so fucking good, pretty girl.” Rafe moaned, smirking up at you, sucking two of his fingers for a hot minute before pressing them into you. Your hips push towards him as you clench around his fingers, feeling delightfully good but not quite full.

“Do you feel that? Feel how much your tight little cunt wants this?” He asked, his other hand, pulling your lower lips apart so he can see his fingers pushing in and out of you. “How fucking tight you are,” he continued, before leaning down and putting his lips around your clit and giving it a suck.

“Oh fuck!” Your hands go back into his hair, pulling tightly at the roots. He continued his assault on you, the sounds of your wet cunt being fucked by his fingers mixed with the sounds Rafe makes as he messily eats you out is the only thing you can hear over your whimpers and moans.

He pulls his fingers out of you, replacing them with his tongue. His wet fingers wrapped around your thighs as he pulled them even further apart. You wrap your legs tighter around him, your hips moving against his mouth as you hold him to you. You feel him chuckle against you, the vibrations going straight to your clit and deep into your core.

“Shit, Rafe.” You groaned out, trying to disengage from holding onto him so tightly.

“No, no.” He groans and pulls back to look at you. “Smother me in your tight little pussy, pretty girl. I want to die here. Fuck my face,” he added, biting at your inner thigh, definitely leaving a mark.

“I want you to cum down my throat, think you can do that baby?” He waits for your hands to find their way back into his hair, pressing him back where you want him before he continues to suck and nibble at your clit. His fingers curve up to find your unsuspecting g-spot and it sends your toes curling in your fancy heels. You dig the shoes into his back and pull Rafe even closer.

“Fuck, I’m so…I’m so so close,” you pant out in a ragged breath. Your hips move against Rafe’s mouth and his fingers. He presses around one of his fingers inside you and repeatedly hits that spot before his teeth scrape ever so lightly against your clit. It’s like you lose all connection with reality as you cum against his fingers and into his waiting mouth. Your walls clench around his fingers that he has to coax you to relax so he can pull them out of you. Rafe stands and brings his hand to his lips before sucking his fingers clean. He lets you sit back against the wall, your breathing is ragged and you’re panting, your cheeks are his favorite shade of  ‘just fucked’ pink. You look up at him, biting your lip ever so slightly and he beams down at you.

“You did so fucking good, pretty girl.” He said, leaning down and pressing his lips to yours, letting you taste yourself on his lips and tongue. “Now, let’s say goodbye so I can take you home and fuck you all night long.”

[mae-gi-writes]

Deobi Playlist (EP 8) | The Boyz Imagine

Ep 8: In which Mae and Kevin have THE TALK, and Juyeon and Hyunjae gossip about them. 

The Boyz x Hospital Playlist inspired drabble series. 

Main characters: Kevin, Juyeon, Hyunjae and OC (Mae)

Sides: the rest of The Boyz

Genre: fluff, slice of life, BROMANCE BRUH 

EP 1 | EP 2 | EP 3 | EP 4 | EP 5 | EP 6 | EP 7 | EP 8 | EP 9 | EP 10 | EP 11

----------

Kevin's heart is racing in his chest and up his throat. Suddenly, it feels a little too hot in the room, his coat weighing down on his shoulders like wet clothing that makes him want to squirm in place. 

He knows he can't avoid this forever. But he also can't seem to look into Mae's eyes, for fear of what he might find there. 

"Kevin?"

Running a hand over his face and allowing a sigh to escape, he answers, "yes. Yes, I do."

He focuses his attention on her feet. Silence reigns over the room as he contemplates whether he should bolt out of the door. 

"You idiot."

He forces himself not to wince, preparing for the rain of rejections that will splatter his body like arrows.

And then, Mae is punching his shoulder, "you idiot. You're so stupid." 

Surprised, his eyes flutter up to her face only to see her flustered, somewhat guilty expression. Realization dawns, chest releasing its tension. 

He grabs her wrist in mid-punch to halt her actions, unconsciously pulling her closer as he does so and there's no chance of hiding his joyous surprise when the said woman averts her eyes this time as though she is embarrassed.

"I like you too," comes her mumble, "why didn't you tell me?"

"How was I supposed to tell you? I was friendzoned before I even tried."

"I didn't friendzone you."

"You kept saying how you'd never date any of us because we were like brothers to you."

"Okay fine," she pauses, "I might have said that. But that's beside the point. The point is…"

She trails off unsurely then and Kevin's heart practically skips a beat at how close they are. A little closer and his lips can touch her cheek. 

"The point is that we're both idiots running circles around each other," Kevin says. 

"Excuse me, weren't you the one hiding underneath YOUR DESK?"

"I was panicking, that doesn't count."

They trail off into another bout of silence, albeit comfortable this time. Kevin allows his thumb to stroke the underside of her wrist, relishing in its softest and not failing to catch the hint of a smile Mae tries her hardest to tuck away behind a mask of nonchalance. 

Ring ring ring!

UGH, Kevin feels like groaning out loud as he whips his phone out of his coat pocket before slamming it to his ear with barely restrained annoyance. 

Of all times, why now?

"Yes?"

"Dr. Moon! Patient Seunghee who you sent for an MRI scan is having difficulty breathing! Her blood levels are dropping rapidly and she says she's having chest pains."

"I'll be there in five. Where are you?"

"Block four Pediatrics, doctor."

"I'm coming. Try to calm her down."

He snaps his phone shut as Mae allows her hand to return to her side, "emergency?"

"Yeah. She was admitted yesterday. Seemed fine though," he mumbles, brain already speeding through his thoughts at the numerous reasons why her body is reacting this way and unconsciously striding towards the door, when he swivels back round to face Mae. 

"We need to talk."

Mae waves her fingers at him, "go. We’ll do that later.” 

He doesn't need to be told twice before dashing out of his office and down the corridor.

-------------------

"Psst. Juyeon."

Juyeon glances back at the door to see it ajar, with Mae's head peeking out from the slit. He looks back at Doctor Sangyeon talking about the medical care for one of his patients and hands his clipboard over to the other intern before quickly slipping out of the office. 

"What is it?" He asks, taking note of her flustered expression and...is she blushing?

"I told Kevin." 

His eyes grow wide, "told Kevin...what?" 

"That I knew about him liking me," she pauses, "and that I like him."

"What? Wait--" Juyeon frowns in confusion, "is this why you pulled me out?!"

"Maybe."

"Mae!"

"What?!" She can't help but stomp her foot lightly and is glad that at this time of the day, there aren't many doctors around to see the frazzled state in which she's in, "Hyunjae's in surgery and I needed to talk to someone."

"Thanks for making me sound like the last option that you have."

"Juyeon, not the time for jealousy right now."

"But, okay wait--what did he say?"

"That...he thought I had friendzoned you all and that's why he never said anything."

"He does have a point."

"I did not--when did I friendzone you?!"

"Oh come on, Mae. You totally did, remember when we were--"

"Juyeon!" Sangyeon's voice booms out from his office and the said intern tenses up in panic. 

The door slides open to reveal the said doctor looking more than a little displeased. 

"Sorry Dr. Sangyeon," Mae quickly fibs, "it's my fault. I needed some data for the reports I'm writing up and Juyeon has them."

"Well make it quick. I need him."

"Yes, doctor."

Mae waits until the door slides fully closed before quickly ushering Juyeon away, "I'll see you later."

Juyeon pauses, hand on the doorknob, "dinner?"

"Sure."

"I want steak."

"Ask your girlfriend to buy you some."

He pouts, "you're so mean."

"See you, loser."

"See you."

"Love you."

"Keep that for Kevin." 

Juyeon wastes no time in shutting the door before Mae can come and kick his ass. 

-------------------

The moment Hyunjae steps out of the surgery room to peel off his mask and let out a relieved sigh -- a sign that the surgery has gone well without any complications -- his phone starts buzzing through his pants pocket. Fishing it out and seeing Juyeon’s name flash across the screen, he pulls his face into a grimace before accepting the call. 

He presses it to his ear, “I don’t have ramen. You gotta go buy some.” 

“That’s not why I called,” Juyeon retorts at the other end of the line. 

Hyunjae rolls his eyes. He moves towards his office, nodding at the few nurses along the way, “yeah? What do you need then?” 

“Are you done with surgery?” 

“I answered the phone didn’t I?” 

“Come to the cafeteria.” 

“But I’m tired,” Hyunjae whines.

“Trust me, you’ll want to hear this.”

When Hyunjae steps into the cafeteria a few minutes later, it doesn’t take him long to spot Juyeon sitting at one of the corner tables tucked away in a corner, digging into his food with barely contained gusto. Smiling at the sight that brings back memories of his own internship days, Hyunjae quickly grabs his own tray, fills it up with food and curry (beef stew, his favourite) and goes to join the katter at his table. 

“Hello stranger, haven’t seen you around here in awhile,” the older man says while taking his seat opposite Juyeon. 

“I’ve been needing to hand in reports back to back and I have a surgery at six tonight. I’ve literally got only this time to eat,” Juyeon replies.

“Oh? With who?” 

“Jacob. His interns are taken up with the Emergency Department so Sangyeon sent me over.” 

“Damn,” Hyunjae shoves a spoonful of food into his mouth, “so? What’s so important that you couldn’t tell me over the phone?” 

As soon as the words are out of his mouth, he catches sight of the grin blossoming over Juyeon’s face and lighting his features up like a Christmas tree. 

“What?” Hyunjae asks impatiently, “What is it? Tell me!” 

“Mae dropped by to see me this morning.” 

“Uhuh.” 

“And she said--” 

“Wait wait,” Hyunjae cuts him off, “she didn’t come to see me?! Wow, that’s just rude of her--”

“You had a surgery.” 

“Oh right. Go on.” 

“So she came to me and said--” Juyeon proceeds to lower his voice, “that she and Kevin had THE TALK.” 

Hyunjae blinks, “Huh?” and then, realizing the importance of Juyeon’s words, his eyes widen, “WHAT--”

Juyeon doesn’t hesitate to shut him up by shoving some curry into his mouth, “shush!” 

“Sorry,” Hyunjae mumbles with his mouth full. He swallows it quickly with some water, reaching over to slap Juyeon’s shoulder in the process, “tell me! What talk?! What do you mean?! Do you mean--” 

“Yeah,” Juyeon shoots him a pointed look, “yeah. THE TALK. You know what I mean.” 

“And?! What did he say?! Don’t tell me he denied it!” 

“Keep your voice down!” Juyeon glances around just in case there are any eavesdroppers, “anyway, yeah they talked. And they--well, I guess they came to an agreement that they both liked each other--” “About time.” 

“Yeah. Apparently he told her that he thought he was being friendzoned.” 

“Oh yeah, wouldn’t surprise me there. Mae has some amazing friendzoning skills,” Hyunjae’s shoulder lifts into a shrug at that, causing Juyeon’s eyebrows to stitch together, “what do you mean?” 

“Let’s just say I thought Mae was pretty cute--” 

Juyeon gawks before smacking his arm, “Why didn’t you tell me?!” 

“--Before she opened her mouth,” Hyunjae finishes with a roll of his eyes, “that girl has like a sniper inside her tongue. With the amount of shit she spouts on a daily basis, I’m surprised her tongue hasn’t fallen off yet.” 

“Oh. yeah. She’s kind of rough around the edges.” 

“Not that I mind that type of girl. But it’s just Mae. I can’t see her as anything more now,” Hyunjae says with a shudder, “also, I think my mom might have dissuaded me from even thinking about dating her.” 

“But your mom loves her.” 

“Exactly my point. I don’t want her getting any in on who I can date or not. It’s my life, I can do whatever I want.” 

“No wonder you’re still single.” 

“And you’re whipped.” 

“Mae came to me first though.” 

“Because I had a surgery!” 

“Yeah whatever, loser.” 

------

Tagging: @juyeonzz​ @thesingingfae1905​

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list! 

[doc-pickles]

things just happened (and so did you)

I started this literally in a manic state at like... midnight when I couldn’t sleep. Then I completed it during a 112 degree heat wave so there’s obviously a lot happening here.

Anywaaaaaays I decided to rewrite 14x08 and 14x09 (Out of Nowhere & 1-800-799-7233) because while these episodes are LITERALLY flawless there’s something that every episode of Grey’s could use and that is babies. 

This will be a two shot with the second half coming sometime later this week (we’ll see how my brain decides to work) but I hope you guys enjoy it! 

xoxo Nina

Jo’s morning isn’t starting off great. First day as Chief Resident and not only does she not have the respect of her coworkers, she’s got a migraine that’s burning itself into her skull. She sent everyone off where they need to be and then barricaded herself in a supply closet. The darkness of the small room bringing her a tiny amount of relief. 

“Jo? You in here?”

Shit. Alex…

Suddenly she remembers that she was supposed to be working on a case with Alex this morning. He mentioned it last night as they’d curled up in bed together but with her hectic morning it had completely slipped her mind.

“Hey,” Jo lifted her hand weakly as Alex finally stepped into her line of sight. “I’m sorry, I totally spaced on our case together. I have a migraine and I’m stressed out beyond belief. This whole Chief Resident thing is taking its toll on me.”

Alex looped his arm around Jo’s shoulder, bringing her into a hug she hadn’t realized she’d needed. A deep breath escaped her and before she could comprehend what was happening, Jo was quietly crying into Alex’s shoulder. He took it in stride, rubbing her back and quietly reminding her to breathe. 

“What’s up with you, this is more than just first day jitters,” Alex pulled back, eyes raking over Jo as one hand came up to brush away the tears that had collected on her cheeks. “Are you okay? Talk to me.”

Jo was about to answer him when the past week played over again in her mind. Her emotions had been all over the place, she hadn’t been able to sleep, and her period was late. All three things she had just chalked up to stress and the price of being a perfectionist. Now though, as she stood crying in a supply closet, Jo thought something else might be amiss. 

“I… I don’t know,” Jo bit back the urge to tell Alex her suspicion, not wanting to unintentionally spook him. “I’m gonna find some pain killers and then I’ll meet you in Frankie's room?”

Accepting her answer easily enough, probably because the plan involved seeing him again so soon, Alex pressed a chaste kiss to Jo’s lips before leaving her be. Once she was alone, she rummaged around the shelves for a moment before coming up with pain killers for her head and two pregnancy tests. She knew Alex would start to wonder about her whereabouts if she didn’t show up soon, but the anxiety of not knowing pushed Jo to run to the restroom first.

Whatever the outcome, you will be fine. You’re Jo Wilson, you’ve got this. 

Jo breezed into Frankie’s room a few minutes later, face flushed as she took in Helm, Alex, and Frankie's mom all staring at her. She waved her hand at them, promptly asking Helm to present the case. She could feel Alex’s gaze on her as Helm talked, but she tried her best to ignore it. 

“Good job Helm, now you can see if mom has any questions,” Jo gestured to Frankie’s mom, who was eyeing Alex appreciatively. “Mrs. Baner? Any questions for us?”

“Not today, just take care of my baby,” she ran a hand through her son's hair, smiling at him before turning to Jo. “He’s the light of my life, I want to make sure you all give him the best care. Do you have children Doctor Wilson?”

Jo’s eyes widened as she stared at the woman with a stunned expression. The question had shocked her, her brain suddenly unsure of how to answer. Her uncharacteristic delay was only made worse when both Alex and Helm turned to her quizzically.

“Um no,” Jo voiced much quieter than normal, her heart beating erratically as her fingers slipped into her lab coat and grasped the two plastic sticks in her pocket. “No, I don’t have children yet. But I can assure you that Doctor Karev and I will take excellent care of Frankie. He’s one of the best peds surgeons so you’re in good hands. If I had kids, I’d want him to take care of them.”

“I have to agree with you Doctor Wilson, we do love having Doctor Karev around,” Mrs. Baner added looking at Alex with that smirk again. Jo could sense Alex gawking at her, this time not trying (but failing) to hide the fact. “Well thank you for stopping by doctors.”

Jo turned and exited the room without a goodbye, hearing Alex wrap up the pleasantries as she began to walk further and further down the hall. Her chest was constricting, a swell of burning nausea rising up her esophagus as she heard Alex calling her name from behind. 

“Jo! Hey,” Alex huffs, finally catching up with her. Resting his strong hand on her shoulder as he steered her into an empty exam room. “You’re acting really weird, you kinda freaked back there. Will you please tell me what’s wrong?”

“I’m fi-”

“You’re not fine, Jo. I know you better than I know myself,” Alex brushed away a stray hair from Jo’s eyes as she fought back the urge to cry. “Babe, I’m worried about you. If it’s just nerves then fine, but I think it’s more than that.”

Not trusting herself to say something coherent, Jo lifted the pregnancy tests from her pocket and placed them in Alex’s hand. She hadn’t removed her own hand from on top of his, but the wide eyed look he gave her told Jo that Alex knew exactly what she’d given him. 

“I haven’t looked at them yet,” Jo could feel the tears welling in her eyes finally spill over as she looked up at Alex. “That’s why I didn’t know how to answer Frankie’s mom. Because I hadn’t looked at the pregnancy tests I just took.”

“Oh,” Alex blinked, his free hand wrapping around Jo’s waist and rubbing her back softly. “Do you… do you want me to look?”

Staring at Alex deeply she finally allowed herself to actually consider the situation. She was, for the first time in her life, finally at a place where a baby wouldn’t be an inconvenience or a problem. She was loved by this amazing man in front of her and she had a job where she was excelling. So really she had no real reason to worry about bringing a child into the world. It was a safe and stable world that she had worked so hard to build.

“You look, I trust you,” Jo lifted her hand from on top of Alex’s and watched his face closely as he turned over both plastic sticks. His expression remained unchanged, eyes moving back up to meet Jo’s. “Well?”

Alex didn’t say anything as he moved his hand from Jo’s back to her stomach, a small grin breaking on his face.  

“Surprise.”

Jo can’t help the combination of tears and laughter that flow out of her as she reached up to kiss Alex sweetly. His hand is still pressed against her abdomen as he’s laughs along with her. 

“I guess that’s one way to celebrate you coming back home,” Jo raised her eyebrows suggestively, hinting at the night that they’d conceived as giggles burst between every few words. “Good surprise right?”

“The best I could’ve asked for,” Alex assured Jo as he kissed her again, a groan escaping from his lips as his pager began to beep. His eyes darted to the device, brows furrowing as he leaned back from Jo. “It’s Frankie, I gotta go. I’ll page you if I need you, okay?” 

Jo nodded, relishing in the feeling of Alex’s fingers trailing over her still flat stomach as he hesitated pulling away from her. 

“Go, sick kids need you,” Jo laughed as she ushered Alex away, squeezing his hand as he finally stepped out the door. “I’ll see you soon.”

-

Soon happens to be ten minutes later, Jo receiving a 911 page from Alex that has her speed walking across the hospital to get to Frankie’s room. Alex and Helm are arguing in the hall, an angry expression on his face as he listens to the fumbling intern. 

“I-I-I don't know what the…,” Jo approaches the duo as Helm stutters out an excuse. “I can’t, I don’t know!”

“What’s happening here?” 

“Frankie’s had a headache for awhile,” Alex sighed as he looked from Helm to Jo. Even pissed off, Alex's eyes immediately went to Jo’s midsection, which made her blush. “Now we’re trying to figure out if he got Vitamin K last night or not.” 

Jo rolled her eyes and grabbed the tablet from Helm, punching in her login as she spoke to the intern. 

“He's asking you what he was given last, something to thin his blood or make it clot?”

“I know that. I-I can't open his chart,” Jo tried her login again as Helm explained to Alex what her issue was, but it failed once again. “The screen is locked.”

Jo peered up at Alex, nodding to confirm what Helm had just relayed. An angry groan sounded from Alex, his fist pounding against the wall as he let out a breath of frustration. 

“Okay Helm, prep Frankie for a CT so we can see if we have an issue. And page Shepherd please,” Helm nodded and ran off, Jo looking for instruction from Alex, who was focused on her. “Can you talk to the nurses and see if any of them gave Frankie his injection? I don’t know what’s happening with the computers, but I don’t wanna take chances here.”

“I’ve got you covered, you go make sure he gets his CT,” Jo moved to walk away, but Alex grabbed at her hand so she was pulled into his embrace. His body was still tense with anger, but his eyes were scanning her with concern. After a few beats she asked, “What’s wrong?”

She knew Alex well enough to know that it wasn’t just Frankie clouding his mind. Jo watched for a change in his expression, but none came. 

“Nothing just… be careful?”

“Now you’re going soft on me,” Jo chuckled as she leaned up and pecked Alex’s lips, pulling away and beginning to walk down the hall. “We’ll be back soon!”

-

Fortunately Frankie’s CT scans were clear, but back in his room he immediately began vomiting from the headache. Alex was worried, but tried not to show it for Frankie and his mom's sake. His mind was running a million miles a minute as he went through everything that had happened since he’d clocked in that morning. The hospital was under a cyber attack – hence being locked out of the system earlier, his patient was quite possibly on the verge of a stroke, and he was going to be a father soon. Alex pushed everything irrelevant to the side however as he sat beside Frankie and pulled the little boy into his side.

“I feel like I'm gonna die,” he bemoaned, his tiny head falling against Alex’s chest in exhaustion.

“What? You're not gonna die.”

“Will you do me a favor?,” Alex looked down to Frankie, who wore a serious expression as he glanced up at Alex. 

“Anything.”

“If I die... will you marry my mom,” Alex laughed at Frankie’s request, but the boy continued talking. “She really likes you. And I know she'll be safe.”

“You're not gonna die,” Alex stated again. He looked around the room, assuring no one else was around, and leaned down to look at Frankie in excitement. “But you wanna know a secret?”

“What?”

“I can’t marry your mom, because I’m gonna have a baby soon,” Frankie’s eyes widened as he processed Alex’s news. It felt good to get the secret out in the open, even to one of his patients. “Yup, I’m having a baby with Doctor Jo.”

“Well… if you can’t marry my mom, I think Doctor Jo is a good choice,” Frankie barely got the words out before he began heaving again, Alex rubbing his back as he leaned over the basin. 

In all honesty he hadn’t been sure at first if he was ready for fatherhood. Of course Alex had been overjoyed that he and Jo had made a new life, but there was a lingering doubt in the back of his mind that any child of his would come out just as screwed up as him. But sitting here now making sure that Frankie made it through the day, Alex was almost certain that he was ready for whatever challenges being a parent would bring.

-

Jo felt like she’d talked to every nurse in the hospital at this point. After going through the grapevine, she’d finally found a solid answer and was racing back to the Pediatric Ward to deliver her news to Alex. For some reason he wasn’t answering his phone and her texts left bouncing back instead of sending. The nausea that had been lingering all day was finally rearing its ugly head, but Jo pushed on, figuring she would have time to vomit after she saved Frankie’s life.

Her feet tapping impatiently on the elevator floor, she checked her phone to see if any of her messages had gone through. With a hand firmly pressed on her stomach, she closed her eyes as she bit back the bile rising in her throat. As the ancient elevators crawled upwards she realized she was still for the first time all day. This only made her even more aware of the escalating physical symptoms threatening to consume her. 

Finally, the elevator beeped as she arrived on the surgical floor. Jo’s eyes flew open and she all but ran from the metal box on her course for Alex and Frankie. She made it about three feet before a solid body blocked her path, finely tailored suit jacket and pressed linen pants coming into her view.

“Hey Brooke.” Jo froze in horror, mouth slightly ajar as her gaze moved upwards to meet the dark green eyes of the man she’d tried so desperately to forget. She took in the face that haunted her nightmares, the one that sent her screaming and crying into Alex’s arms at 2 AM. He looked older, his face worn by time, but still handsome as ever. The signature devilish grin plastered on his face sending an electric shock down her spine. Like a grotesque halloween mask, it was the same face he would give her before pummeling her into the darkness.

Her breath caught in her throat as time seemed to stop around her. She forgot about Alex and Frankie, her baby, everything that had happened today as the world around her shrunk down to her and the man in front of her.

Paul. Paul had found her.

[lumiolivier]

The Good Old Days Chapter Sixteen: Perfect

A/N: Hi, friends! You want some wholesome content of a wholesome family in a not so wholesome business? Here. You can have this.

Look at her…She’s absolutely perfect. I know I hold her on too high of a pedestal, but I don’t care. If that’s the risk we’re taking, I’ll make sure to catch her if she ever falls. All it took was one word and she was mine. She is mine. A girl like Vanessa doesn’t come along every day. And a girl like Vanessa sure as fuck doesn’t come along every day for someone like me. When she told me all I needed to do was say the word, I made myself a promise right then and there that I’d do everything in my power to keep this girl in my life. She was mine. And I was hers. And that was all that mattered anymore.

Although, there is some bullshit line about all good things coming to an end that came into play. I didn’t want to do it. When we stood at her front door, I did not want to let this girl go back into that house. I wanted to take her by the hand and take her away from the hell that awaited her inside. I wanted to run off into the sunset with her and never look back. But unfortunately…I may not be able to get everything I want, but I had her. She’s enough to be my everything.

“Hey, Frankie,” Vanessa nuzzled her face in my shoulder, “What time does the Old Man let you go at night?”

“Around midnight,” I told her, “Maybe one o’clock if we run a little late. I don’t think my office hours are very set in stone. But if I’m not there by eight, he has my ass handed to me. Why?”

“Because,” she hugged me tight, “I want to know when I’ll be able to see you again.”

“You know where I live,” I kissed her forehead, “And you know you are welcome anytime. If Mama gushing over you is any proof of that.”

“And you know where I live,” Vanessa hid a little smile from me. Oh, no, no, no, sweetheart. We don’t play like that here.

“That’s right,” I pulled her chin up and gave her a quick little kiss. Just enough, “I’ll call you tomorrow night.”

“Nine o’clock?” she hoped.

“Nine o’clock,” I promised, “Good night, Vanessa.”

“Good night,” Vanessa didn’t want to let go either, but unfortunately, we needed to wake up from our daydreams some time.

“Hey,” I stopped her, “Kiss the little one for me, too.”

“I will.” If I didn’t know any better, I’d think I just scored a few more brownie points with her. What can I say? Veronica scared the shit out of me and I wanted to make sure she was doing ok.

I got into the back of the Old Man’s town car and started heading home. As I watched the streetlights pass by in the window, I couldn’t help myself. I had one of the most incredible people I have ever had the honor and privilege of knowing, waiting for my phone call tomorrow night. And genuinely excited for it. Sometimes, I think back and wonder what would’ve happened that night if I would’ve stoned up and talked to her at the bar. If I would’ve bought her a couple drinks and sat down with her instead of choking horribly. Would we still be the same? It couldn’t be too much different. She still would’ve had her sister watching her. She still would’ve slipped that note in my pocket.

Still…It’s amazing to think about. Her number could’ve fallen out of my pocket. Instead of going up to me, she could’ve gone up to Tony or César. Hell, when César talked me up to her, she could’ve fallen for his charms and I’d end up losing her. But for whatever reason that night, she picked me. Out of every other asshole in that scummy, piece of shit club in Williamsburg, she picked me. She didn’t even have to go into that particular club. She just wanted to go out and have a good time with her sister and some of their friends. Yet she comes out of there having stuffed her hand in my pocket and gives me her phone number. Thanks for seeing past the street rat, Vanessa.

Once I got home, Mama had already gone to bed. So, I decided to follow suit. However, I couldn’t sleep for the life of me. The world was too wonderful for me to sleep on it now. So, what do I do? I made myself a drink and sat out on the fire escape, letting the occasional warm breeze hit me. One night, baby…You and me are going to be sitting on our own roof of our own place. We’ll both be in that special, content place in our heads and everything will be ok. I promise you. Once things with the Old Man and I really pick up, this town is going to be ours for the taking. And I will make sure you never have to worry about anything ever again.

It’s hard to believe that all I had to do was say the word…And she’s mine.

“I thought I saw the window open,” César came out, “What’s the occasion, Frankie? You doing ok?”

“Yeah,” I nodded, nursing my tequila, “Couldn’t be better.”

“And…” he wondered, “You’re not being sarcastic?”

“Not in the least bit,” I assured him, “I have nowhere to complain.”

“That’s good to hear,” César went back inside and made himself a drink, too, “Because God forbid you were out here drinking alone.”

“Very nice, César,” I rolled my eyes, giggling a little.

“And just out of curiosity,” he started picking at me, “Is there a reason you’re all covered in glitter? Did the Old Man take you to a strip club tonight and that’s why you’re in such a good mood?”

“I don’t think any of the girls in town could do it for me anymore,” I sighed out, “No. I had better than the strip club tonight.”

“Shit, better?” César lit up a cigarette, “Let me guess. Vanessa?”

“The girl does rock a lot of glitter.” She is glitter. She’s pure sparkle in a human being.

“Well?” he wondered, “Don’t keep me in suspense, hermanito. How’d it go?”

“I love her.” There was no sense in beating around the bush about it, “I love this girl so much, César. She’s definitely…She’s something else.”

“Hard to tell,” César teased, “She’s really got a hold on you, doesn’t she?”

“You know what she told me?” I finished off my drink, “All I had to do was say the word. Say the word and she was mine.”

“And?”

“I didn’t even hesitate,” I laid my head on the brick.

“So…” César figured, “That’s your girl?”

“That’s my girl.” I like the sound of that. Vanessa’s my girl…Sounds just as nice the second time around.

“Lucky you,” he jabbed, “You did call dibs, Frankie. We’re not going to get in the way.”

“You’re damn right, you’re not!” I snapped. My brothers and I had an unspoken rule when it came to women. Once a dibs is called, the others back off. And even though I loved my brothers dearly, if either one of them laid a finger on Vanessa, I’d end up short a brother and have to ask the Old Man for a favor.

“In the way of what?” Tony poked his head out the window.

“Vanessa’s giving our little hood rat a shot,” César gave me a shove, “He called dibs.”

“I know,” Tony remembered, “Not for us.”

“Definitely not for you,” César poked at him, “Not that she’d ever go for you. Vanessa would be all over me before she’d even look twice at you.”

“What the hell, César?!” Tony whined, “Frankie already called dibs anyway!”

“She did, too,” I chuckled a bit. I’m sure she’d really appreciate my brothers arguing over a hypothetical chance with her, but I needed to stop this before it got worse, “She told me the night we met, she called dibs on me. Vanessa told me the same thing. But I don’t think I’d have to worry about Veronica. I haven’t met Violet, but I have a feeling Violet’s not going to be my biggest fan, so I’m not too worried. I’m good, though. I’ll gladly keep the one I got.”

“No one could blame you.”

That’s my girl. Damn right, that’s my girl. Vanessa was mine, whether anyone else liked it or not. And that’s how we were. For the next few months, things were perfect. I’d kill afternoons with Vanessa between her classes. Then, I’d go run errands for the Old Man, go home, and do it all again the next day. And I wasn’t mad about it. I had my girl. I was already rising in the Old Man’s ranks. Everything was absolutely fantastic…Until it wasn’t…

As the summer came to an end and fall started coming in, I got a sudden invitation from Vanessa. Some fancy ass party at her place. I thought I was going to be sick when I brought her to meet Mama. I knew her parents were going to be a totally different monster. But if I understood correctly, parties at the Scarlotti estate were never small affairs. I’m sure I’d end up getting lost in the crowd somehow. Or at least I sure as fuck hoped so. And if I did get lost in the crowd, I know what would happen. Someone would end up asking me for either food or drinks and I’d want to stab a mother fucker.

But things were so good with Vanessa and me. I wanted to go like I wanted to lick the floors of the Old Man’s office clean, but it was Vanessa. It’s not like I was going to tell her no. So, I managed to get the night off from doing the Old Man’s running and knew exactly what kind of ass reaming this was going to be. I just hope someone’s lubing up. That’s all I ask. And maybe if I’m lucky, I’ll get to suck down high-end booze and hang out with the woman I loved. That’s alright, I suppose.

I finished getting dressed and gave myself one last look in the mirror. The shit I do for you, Ness. I love you so much that I’m willing to throw my Williamsburg gutter ass into the fires of upscale Manhattan for you. I’d be alright. Cute girl. Good drink. Maybe it’ll be one of those things where we’ll be in and out. God…? If you could do me a huge solid tonight and make this go smoothly, I’d really appreciate it. I love this girl with all my heart and I don’t want to lose her because of me fucking this up tonight.

“Where the hell are you off to tonight, you fancy fuck?” César wondered, doing a double take past our bedroom.

“There’s a party at Vanessa’s tonight,” I explained, “She said it was black tie. And if we’re being honest, I’m not totally hating it.”

“Your rich girlfriend has truly sunk her claws into you, Frankie,” he hung his head, “One day, you’re going to leave us all in the slums and look down at us from your ivory tower with haughty pride and your pinky in the air and pretend like you don’t know us.”

“Fuck you,” I rolled my eyes. He knew better. As did I. I’ve always said that if I ever came into a shit ton of money, I’d make sure the family was taken care of before I did anything else. Mama would get a nice, comfortable villa in either Madrid or Barcelona (her choice). I’d set my favorite pair of dumbasses up (and chances are, they’d be working for me anyway. Just to keep them out of trouble.). I’d still have my priorities in place.

“A party at Vanessa’s tonight, huh?” Tony joined us. Oh, god. I knew where this was going, “Sounds like that could…”

“No.” I had to put my foot down quick or it’d be a recipe for disaster. As nice as it’d be to have my brothers there as a buffer (or, let’s be honest, a security blanket), I couldn’t babysit tonight, “I’m meeting Vanessa’s parents tonight and they’re not letting any more miscreants in their party. It’s bad enough I’ll be there.”

“Well,” César threw an arm around me, “Good luck, hermanito. You’re going to need it. I suggest not resorting to violence tonight.”

“And not telling Vanessa’s mom that she’s hot,” Tony winced, “Trust me. Made that mistake before.”

“I’m so fucking shocked,” César held his face in his hands, “Honest to Christ, Tony. Where did I go wrong with you?”

“We did our best, César,” I put a hand to my brother’s shoulder, “God couldn’t bless all three of us with brains. We’d be too powerful.”

“I suppose you make a good point,” César agreed, “But I thought we did better.”

A knock at the door caught us all by surprise. Gee. I wonder who that could be. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face if I tried, “I think that’s for me.”

“Hola, niña!” Mama chimed at the door.

“Hola, Sariña,” the voice of an angel drifted through our apartment, “Como estas?”

“Bien, bien!” Mama sang, “Eres tan hermosa, kariña. What’s the occasion?”

“My parents are throwing a party tonight.” I didn’t like Vanessa’s tone. She sounded so happy two seconds ago. I shoved my brothers back into our bedroom and listened, “Sariña, can I be honest with you?”

“Of course, Vanessa,” she insisted, “Please. Sit. What’s troubling you?”

“I’m scared for tonight,” her voice shook, “I’m so scared for tonight.”

“Por que?” My heart fell to the floor. Oh, Vanessa, it’ll be alright. Don’t you worry, baby. I can behave myself.

“You know I love him,” Vanessa began, “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to look you in the eye. But my parents…They’re not like me. When I tell them I’m going to Williamsburg, they ask me if I forgot who I was. And how embarrassing it’d be for the family if someone were to see me here. You know as well as I do that I love coming here. I love being here. I love being able to unclench once in a while.”

“And there’s nothing wrong with that,” Mama assured her.

“I just want them to give him a chance,” she hoped, “It’s not Frankie I’m worried about. I never have to worry when it comes to him. Not like that anyway. I know good when I see it. And if I didn’t see any kind of future with him, I would’ve left him in the club and walked away. I’m just…I’m scared.”

“There’s no need to worry,” I came out from the hallway, in dire need of a beautiful woman to hold. By the looks of her, Vanessa could stand a good holding. Instead, I settled on a quick kiss. It was enough to put the smile back on her face, “I got charm for days, baby. You know that.”

“God, I hope so,” she got up from the couch and threw herself into my chest. I could still feel her shaking. Don’t you worry, baby girl. I’ll make sure you’re ok by the time we get there.

“I won you over, didn’t I?” I put things into perspective, “What do I need to know?”

“My mom is difficult,” Vanessa cringed, “My dad took my mom’s last name. If that tells you anything.”

“So,” I figured, “Your mom’s a ball buster and keeps your dad’s in her purse. Got it.”

“I love my dad,” she giggled, “But yeah. You’re not wrong.”

“Then, we got this,” I promised, hugging her tight, “Trust me, Vanessa. It’s nothing the Old Man hasn’t already taught me.”

“What if things go terrible tonight?”

“Then…” I didn’t think I’d have to come up with a quick contingency plan. But I think I knew exactly what it’d be, “If we need a minute away from the crowd, then we’ll go up to the roof. I heard your roof is something special.”

“I love you, Frankie,” she melted.

“I love you, too, corazon,” I kissed the top of her head, then Mama’s cheek, “I might be out a little late, Mama. No need to wait up for me.”

“Cuidado,” Mama ordered, “Para ella.”

“I will,” I promised, “Te amo, Mama.”

“Te amo, cariño!” And just like that, Mama sent Vanessa and me off.

Well…Here goes nothing.

[bluesora]

ya’ll really going to be out there making me cry is that it ??? i took one small break and suddenly everyone’s making my heart brust with uwuwuwu and love and istg cheese cult is out there trying to kill me with their love 🥺💕

let me be sappy while my i ride out my writer’s block right now! (there’s no order to this ok)

@akaashichigo

jem bby (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀) thank you for creating a goddamn cult lmao,, the amount of positivity and love from it is so wholesome. i’m so happy i took the courage to talk to you and joined your tumblr gc. it all started from there, and now it blossomed into something so amazing. ilysm!!!!!

@drainedjaz

jaz bby (*´ω`*) thank you for being so friendly and breaking the ice for everyone !! it made the whole conversation carry forward a lot easier and i’m so amazed at your free and beautiful soul, i love you so much !!!!! pls give me a fridge!

@cali-writes-sometimes

maddie bby (о´∀`о) thank you for rounding up our cheese cult bbys and making a list almost everything !! your cheese edits, omg do i even need to say much?? how are u so talented aiwnzjjwks i love my organized bby 👀!!!! hehe

@annalyn-annalyn

anna bby ٩( 'ω' )و thank you for your cheese crack fics you have no idea how amazing it was to be able to write that oanwisjwksk the amount of talent??? ur brimming with it and i love you so much my dear please know that !!!!!

@estherwritess

aster bby (*⁰▿⁰*) even though i know you’re busy with your finals and being in nursing isn’t easy but i want to say i’m so glad to be able to meet you and i’m proud of you and to hear u say you’re close to me? my heart bursted. ilysm!

@ushiwakaa

wifey (〃ω〃) thank you for being such a lovely and supportive wife !! you have no idea how much my heart just go uwuwuwu for you and even though you’re the sun to my moon, i will always love you so much my dear ♡

@pineapplekween

vic bby (๑>◡<๑) thank you for being such a sweet and kind soul my heart just melts whenever i see you online. your voice is so pretty and adorable when you speak in english, also that ushi smut? im proud! kocham Cię !!!!!

@kxgeyamasmilk

risse bby (*´꒳`*) thank you for being such a sweetie and lmao singlish? chinese? yes. your bod control? yes. just have a whole harem for yourself my love lmao. i love our late night wholesome conversations so much ilysm !!!!!!

@from-left-to-write

lee bby ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) you kinky lil shit i love you. your singing? floored. your laughter? floored. your big brain imagination? yes. i���m so proud of you bby for writing that sakusa fic, i can’t wait to see more of your beautiful talent bby girl! ilysm!

@milkandc00kiez

ellie bby (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) my cutiepie !!! you’re so adorable dear thank you so much for being such a sweet lil honey tea i can list so many pet names for you i—i love you so much dear, ok? ok! the wholesome conversations we have? i love it !!!!!

@raevaioli

raenah bby ( ✌︎'ω')✌︎ my fellow local, you have no idea how much i love your writing aisnxiwnkaj upgrading from a fan to friend? you can just have my heart dear omg. and you’re such a sweet soul too raeji is my ult ship now. ilysm !!!!

@mlkytobio

chloe bby =(^.^)= my other fellow local, you cutiepie i love you so much !! why are you so cute? that yamz req?? you nailed it!! i’m so happy to have met you bby, please continue and let’s meet up ok? lets upgrade this r/s !!!!!

@akaashit-baeji

chloe bby (*^^*) even though you rare pop in now as compayti before, it doesn’t mean my love for you is any less ok? i love you so much and i love your cute writings too !!! i hope sakusa and akaashi will continue to run u over!!!

@kawanisshi

ash bby (ㆀ˘･з･˘) you exposed me >( but i still love you hehe !! i can’t wait to read that story you’re brewing dear !! my fingers are tingling knowing it’ll be so amazing so don’t hold back and go all out okay love?? i love you so much !!!!

@shishinoya

audrey bby Σ੧(❛□❛✿) you are so funny?? your humor is top notch and your voice? hngh. i love you so much bby, why are you so pretty my heart can’t take it!! just run me over with your beauty alr oof :’)) can’t wait 4 smth special 👀!!

@bubbleteaa

ana bby (*´∀`)♪ you lil akwnsiwjsk thanks for wreacking me yesterday huh. my heart? what that? gone for good lmao. i love you so much dear, pls collect ur harem. u r amazing at it. and you’re beautiful bby, i love your selfies so much!

@ouikarwa

riss bby (*･ω･)ﾉ thank you for so many things omg i dont even know where to start uwu your smut fics? ur edit? ur amazing writing? your swet messages? you telling me to sleep? lmao there’s so many and i just love you so much!!!!!!!

@agaassi

ae ra bby (^з^)-☆ you, my dear, stop attacking my heart with your beauty and cuteness lmao. innocence? wht that when you are overflowing with so much charisma!!! i love how opinionated and strong you are dear !! aetsumu ?? I SHIP IT!!

@haikkeiji

ana bby (*^▽^*) my most precious lil bby bub omg you have no idea how soft i am for you dear !!! i wanna kidnap you in my lil pocket and just shower you with so much love !!! you’re so adorable and mature!! i appreciate you so much

@airybby

airy bby (//∇//) morning before work thirst? end of work thirst? lmao bby you’re making me die from all those photos you sent on a daily aiwnsijwkaj i will invite to my funeral istg !! but i still love you so much so i guess we are even 👀

@simping4ratsumu

mya bby ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶ i love you my bby boo! thank you for being so supportive and i’m so proud of you for taking time out to heal. know that i’ll always be here for you, so come to me if you need anything all right dear?? i love you bb !!!!

—

i’m running out of words and emoticon to express my constant love for y’all so please forgive me. thus, my writer’s block. just know that my love isn’t any less for those i didn’t write for ok? yall are still my bbys and i will fite anyone who hurt your delicate heart!! my dms, pms, asks, anyway to contact me will always be open for anyone who wants my 2cents of advise/deep conversations about life or controversial topics. life is shit, but we have each other <3 

@miyuswriting @thiccbokuto @sosugasweet @hanibuni @wakaitoshi @shinsukestan @heccingdead @kawaiikraykray @skiyoosmi @briswriting @fern-writes-ig @daiseukis and all 100+(?) members??? omg idk my brain is fried im sorry for those i did not tag uwuwuwu

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Kissing Dead Pearls (Part 22)

They have trouble getting him to eat, anything they feed him seems to come back up again until they settle for giving him liquid food in small amounts; apple sauces and oatmeals with a fair amount of tube feeding. She doesn’t like the sight of it.

They tell her that she doesn’t need to be here, that she is well enough to go back to the hotel so long as she takes it easy. But she remains at the hospital, at least during visiting hours.

“No one has claimed him yet?” She hears one nurse ask.

“No, not yet.” Says the other.

“And no ID?”

“All of his IDs and paperwork are probably on the ocean floor with his boat.”

The pair enter, a stout man with a clean shaven beard and a fleshy face and a woman, just as stout but rather petite. The man checks over the feeding tubes while the nurse checks over the patient himself.

“Has he woken up at all?” The woman asks.

“Not while I’ve been here.” Azula replies.

Deciding that everything is in order, the doctors step out once more. She looks at the time, she ought to be heading out herself. She waits another few moments before pulling out her phone, it rings several times before Zuzu answers. “Why are you answering father’s phone?”

“He and Jet went for a swim.” Zuko replies. “Do you need me to tell him something?”

She hears the boy stir in his bed. She lowers the phone for a moment before replying. “Just tell him that the sailor is waking up, so I might be here for a little while longer.” She doesn’t wait for a reply before she stuffs her phone back into her purse.

She wanders over to the bed. The boy squeezes his eyes tighter before opening them. They are tired and gentle and a very vivid blue. Azula swallows, they are a very familiar vivid blue. She takes his hand, wondering how it had taken her this long to recognize him.

“Gee…” he speaks, his voice hoarse and weak. “Guess the town motto is true, ‘all waves lead to Port Tui-La.’” He tries to laugh but his mouth is too dry.

She hands him a cup of water and waits for him to swallow before saying, “we’re not at Port Tui-La.” She wants to hug him with a tightness that will assure her that he won’t leave again. Even if she had both of her arms free to use, she worries about pressing on his sores the wrong way.

“Then where are we?”

“A small resort island called, Su Oku.”

“You think that I could get a pina colada with this hospital banquet.” He gestures to the oatmeal.

“I think that you couldn’t keep a pina colada down if they gave one to you.” She replies. It is unfathomably amazing to hear his voice again. To hear those stupid and poorly timed jokes.

“What happened to your arm?” He asks.

“It happened while I was saving you. You ass.”

“Now that’s no way to treat a guy in a hospital bed. That’s not how you…” he pauses for another drink. “Greet someone that you haven’t seen in months either.”

“It’s a perfect way to treat an imbecile who promised to take you out for a birthday dinner and stood you up for months.”

He makes a gesture as if to slap his forehead but thinks better of it at the last moment, “Ah shit, I forgot your birthday.”

Azula could slap him. “We thought that you were dead, Sokka.” She whispers after the humor fades. And suddenly it is overwhelming. The notion that she is going to have to speak with Jet crosses her mind and mixes strangely with joy and relief.

She feels his hand brush against her cheek, a rough and calloused hand. “Why are you crying?”

“I’m not.” She wipes at her eyes.

“Of course not.” He chuckles.

How is she going to tell him about Jet? How is she going to tell Jet about him? But he’s alive, goodness he’s alive. She carefully cups her hand over his. “What happened to your ship and how did you survive?”

“It’s a long story.” He replies, she can tell that he is going to fade out again. “Visit tomorrow and you might get to hear it.”

“Might?!”

He is already out again. She finds herself laughing. Of course he will leave her unanswered. It dawns upon her, as the nurse enters that she probably should have let them know that he was awake.

.oOo.

She finds herself terribly anxious the closer they draw to the hotel. The walk from the hospital isn’t terribly long, she almost wishes that it could be longer. It is a nice day, in the storm’s wake there is a cooler edge to the day. For once her skin isn’t slick with sweat from the walk and jasmine dances within the breeze. “You’re quiet.” Zuko remarks.

“Enjoy your break.” Azula mutters.

“Did something happen to the sailor?”

She shakes her head. “Nothing bad.”

“But something happened.”

“He woke up.”

“And.”

She bunches her hands in her pockets. She isn’t sure why she is so hesitant to tell him. Perhaps it is because she doesn’t want him to slip and tell Jet before she can. “It’s Sokka.”

Zuko comes to a full halt. “What? How?”

She shrugs. She had imagined it time and time again, a reunion, telling Katara that her brother is alive. And perhaps it is because she had truly expected it to be anything but a reality, that it is so hard for her to process that her daydreams have become truth. Truth be told, she isn’t quite ready. “I don’t know, Zuzu. I didn’t that we would actually find him.”

“Well aren’t you, I don’t know, elated?”

She knows that she should be. She should be happy, excited, grateful. And she is, but she is also nervous. It has been so long. He doesn’t know about father, he doesn’t know about Jet, about...she traces the length of the scar on her arm, rather she traces the parts of it that aren’t tucked into the sling. “I am.” She says. “I’m just trying to figure out what to tell Jet.”

“Fuck off, is a good option.”

She elbows him. “I know that you don’t like him but he treats me well.” They pass a merchant selling bundles of hibiscus and bamboos sticks. With the storm well and past, the island is lively again. She spies several bikers and a couple with a picnic basket. There is a child with an armful of shells and a missing sandal, an exasperated woman holds that sandal. Colorful umbrellas are propped open all along the beach that runs parallel with the road. A road that is scattered with palm fronds, branches, clusters of flowers, and other things that the storm had thrown about. She can hear the hum of cicadas and the chatter of birds, mostly seagulls. “I suppose that I should just tell him outright.” That is how she would have wanted it if Jet had fallen for someone else.

“That’s what I meant when I said tell him to fuck off.”

Azula rolls her eyes. “I’m sure it is.” But that doesn’t make it any less daunting, knowing that she has so much to fill Sokka in on. Though she supposes it is, at the end of the day, fair. He has a long story for her and she has a rather long one for him. If he will hear the rest of it after finding out about her fling with Jet. She decides that she will get to that part after talking about how increasingly difficult and lonely things had gotten. She will answer the why’s before sharing what they had led to.

She enters the hotel and holds the door open just long enough for Zuko to get his hopes up before letting it slam in his face. He cusses and she chuckles. It has been a while since she’d got him like that.

“See if I hold it open for you next time!”

She fixes him with a faux pout. “You mean you’d slam the door on your handicapped little sister?”

“I sure would.” He replies.

They reach the hotel room at the same time as her father and Jet. She watches Jet rub his hair with his towel.

“They left you by yourself?” Azula asks.

Katara shrugs. “I could use the quiet time. How was your visit?”

“It was…” she can’t keep the smile from her face. “Surreal.”

“Surreal?”

“He’s alive, Katara. That sailor is…”

“Sokka?” She asks softly.

Azula nods. She has made Katara cry several times throughout childhood, and once as a pre-teen when she’d decided that she was too cool to hang out with the girl anymore. But she had never made her cry with joy and relief.

“You sure that it’s him?”

“He asked me for a pina colada.”

“That’s him alright.” Ozai grumbles. He slings his towel onto one of the racks and makes his way into the bathroom.

“Hey!” Jet calls. “We agreed that I get the first shower!”

“You have things to discuss with my daughter.” Ozai shrugs. “I’ll take an extra long one to make sure that she can cover all of the details.”  With that, the door closes and she hears the lock pop into place.

“He’s alive, Zuko!” Katara springs up and throws her arms around him. “My brother is alive!” She lets go of Zuko and turns to Azula. “You saved him…”

Azula nods. “He better treat me extra special or I’ll throw him right back out there.” She folds her good arm against the other.

“Do you need us to…?” Zuko gestures towards the door.

Azula nods. She waits for the door to shut once more before taking a seat on the bed.

Jet sighs and rubs the back of his head. “I take it, there’s nothing I can do to make you choose me.”

She hesitates before shaking her head. “There’s nothing.”

He blows out through his lips, “the ride home is going to be mighty awkward.”

“It doesn’t have to be.” She answers despite being well aware that she has a solid track record for being awkward as hell.

“Does he know yet?”

“No.” She says. “He will tomorrow.” She just hopes that that will go well.

“Were you using me as a rebound?”  Jet asks.

“No.” She says again. “I was trying to move on…”

“Which is why you went out on a sailing trip to find your boyfriend?”

“I didn’t anticipate anything coming from it.”  

He nods, clasps his hands together and presses them to his lips. “Then why do I feel like I got used.”

“I didn’t use you.” She insists. “If I had I would have asked for a lot more cash.”

This elicits a humored snort. “I’m going to go back to the pool.” He stands. She doesn’t stop him. The soft slam of a door, shut slightly too hard, rebounds around the room. She supposes that he needs to process things. She needs to process things. Good news or not, her head still spins and she finds herself feeling notably drained. She falls back onto the mattress and stares at the ceiling.

[toothpastecanyon]

Dreams That Walk, Nightmares That Talk - Chapter 5

Huge thanks to @feferipeixes for editing this chapter! :DDD

Ben's been visiting the Mindscape every day since he was born. Once he brought something back, and twenty years later, Marie García is still picking out the pieces.

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hi Ben thank you very much much much everything is fine!  

                 Marie frowns down at her phone. No, no, that sounds fake. She deletes that text… then she taps A and then she deletes that and then she taps A and then she deletes that and then-

                 “This your house, ma’am?”

                 “Wha-?” Her head snaps up. “My house? Oh, yes, that’s my house! Thank you!”

                 The taxi driver gives a nod as he pulls into her driveway. After a moment’s hesitation, she turns off her phone, stuffs it in her pocket, and then unzips her purse.

                 “Okay, how much do I owe you?”

______________________________________________________________

Hi bhubhubhuBen! It was very nice to see you yesterday! I had a great timeeeqweeeeqwe yesterday and your apartment looks great! I hope to see you soon but

               Marie squints down at her phone screen. The screen glare hurts her eyes, and she takes a second to bury her face into a pillow. It’s nice and dark and comfy here… too comfy, way too comfy to think.

                 She groans, heaves her head back up, and keeps typing with eyelids that refuse to stay open.

     I don’t know if I can see you this weekend, everything is fine but I’m not feeling up to it so hopefully I will soon maybe this weekend. Love you very much and  

                 “You still awake, mi cielito?”

please dont wory  

about  

______________________________________________________________

                 A coffee table. A cup of tea. A ray of faint moonlight trickling over the carpet, and a phone whose time reads 3:00 AM.

               A deep breath in, and out, and then:

Hey, Ben! Yeah, I had a wonderful time at your new apartment! It’s a lovely place, and it seems like you’re already pretty settled in. Hope the unpacking is going well :)  

I’m a little busy with work this weekend, but maybe next weekend I will  

                 Marie pauses. Frowns.

I will be better.  

                 She makes a face, and then deletes it. Deletes a bit more than she needs to - whoops.

I’m a little busy with work this week end  

                                   (Make it right)

I’m a little busy with work this weekend weekend

I’m a little busy with work this weekend weekend weekend

I’m a little busy with work this weekend weekend weekend weekend  

I’m a little busy with work this weekend I’m a little busy with work this weekend I’m a little busy with work this weekendzdtzdtzzdtzdtzdtdzdtzdtzdtdzdstrgcfdtsrtedffg

                 Marie scowls and turns off her phone in frustration. She picks up her tea, and looks out at the moonlit yard as she sips it, at the empty chairs on the porch giving off a ghostly glow.

                 She sips it, pointedly ignoring the twitchy thoughts in her head, the flickers of a man in her periphery… and the red glow of her wards that hint at a certain presence, a real one her mind hasn’t made up.

                 She can ignore him, but she can’t help but grimace as the silence stretches. After a couple minutes, she picks up her phone and heads back into the privacy of her bedroom.

______________________________________________________________

Hey, Ben!  Monday was great, I meant to text you yesterday but I was a little busy, sorry about  

                 Fuck. Marie turns her head to the side, and glares at the sunlight glowing behind her bedroom blinds as she thinks.

sorry about sorry about sorry about but I have lots of time today and that’s good. That’s  

I have a spare moment today to  

I was a little busy, I think I’ll keep being busy this weekend so just don’t worry about me. Go live your life. I just want you to be happy, so don’t go asking Alcor about me or trying to make me feel better by making plans. Don’t worry about me, I just don’t want you to worry about me and I’m sorry if  

I don’t know how to               I wish you could just do that, because I know you do and I’m just the wrong person to worry about. I’m sorry I can never be better for you. I’m sorry it always ends up like this. I’m sorry.  

                 With a lump in her throat, she deletes the whole message.

______________________________________________________________

Hey, Ben, I know it’s been a few days. I really don’t want you to worry, okay? I’m not worth worrying about, all I do is lie around and 

______________________________________________________________

Hey, Ben, thank you for trying. Thank you so much. You’re amazing and I don’t deserve you. Just live your life, okay? Please don’t worry about me. All I do is hurt you and let you down and youd be better off without me. I just wish you didn’t care so much, because I know you’d be hurt if I went, but itd be so much better for you, but I don’t want to hurt you like that. I just don’t know what to do and everything feels like the wrong thing to do and I don’t know.  

You’d hate me if I sent you this. 

______________________________________________________________

Hey, Ben!  

                 Marie sits in a waiting room, surrounded by other people with all their sniffings and whisperings and foot tappings.  When she looks up, she meets the eyes of some lady sitting across from her. They exchange quick, awkward smiles, then she looks down again.

Just wanted to let you know I have seen this message. Didn’t mean to leave you hanging, I’ve been super busy and I’m literally just sending this while I’m waiting for a doctor’s appointment. Hope everything’s well with you!  

                 She makes a face. Deletes the last sentence, because that sounds weird.

Hope you’re doing well  

Hope you haven’t been worried  

Hope you  

Hope-  

                 “Uh, Marie Garcia? Is there a Mrs Marie Garcia here?”

                 Marie jumps up at her name. “That’s me! That’s me.”

                                 (thats me thats me thatsme-)

                 She skips up to the nurse, and he holds the door open for her.

                 “Alright. We’ll do a little checkup, then I’ll let Dr Scythan know you’re ready.”

                 She knew the drill. Take her handbag off, step on the scales, grimace as she barely breaks a hundred pounds - yeah, she should… eat things.

                 Step off the scales.

                                 (step on them again)

                 Walk away.

                                 (MAKE IT RIGHT STEP ON THEM AGAIN)

                 Be led into a room. Sit down, watch him strap on the blood pressure cuff. Move it up a little, because he didn’t do it quite right.

                 A beep, and the cuff starts to squeeze.

                 Squeezes.

                 “How’s your day today?”

                 Squeezes.

                 Lets go.

                 “Hello?”

                 Marie blinks. “Huh?”

                 “Heh, were you zoning out?” The nurse chuckles as he writes the reading down. “130 over 80… I was just asking how your day was going.”

                 “Oh.” Marie makes a face. “It’s fine, I guess.”

                                 (MAKE IT RIGHT MAKE IT RIGHT-)

                 “Good to hear, good to hear.” He stands up, and walks past Santino to the door. “Well, I’ll go let her know you’re ready now. Have a good one!”

                 Marie stares at where Santino was, then looks up at the security camera. She gives it a nervous smile, taps her fingers one two three against the table, then digs her phone out of her pocket and turns it on.

                 The text from Ben again. She rubs her eyes, sighs deeply, and deletes her whole response. She’ll… figure it out. Later.

                 Hopefully.

                 The door opens.

                 “Hello?” Dr Schythan pokes her head in, and smiles when she sees Marie. “Oh, hi! There you are - heh, I’ve been moving rooms all day. My main office is getting a little renovation, and…”

                 She chats away as she sits down and opened her laptop. A spare pencil rolls out of her folders; Marie catches it, and straightens it. Straightens it again. Smiles and nods and laughs politely.

                 “...So, how’s it been going for you?”

                 “Haha, yeah.”

                 “Marie?”

                 She blinked.

                 “How’s it been going since we last met up?” The doctor taps her mouse. “We said we were going to up your dosage to help with your anxiety… how’s that going?”

                 “Oh…” Marie tries not to glance at the flickering to her right. “Uh, I haven’t really…”

                                 (straighten the pencil MAKE IT RIGHT)

                 “I don’t…” She straightens the pencil again, then looks up at the doctor. Crumples her mouth into a smile. “I’m sorry. What, uh, what did you say again? Sorry. Srry.”  

                 Dr Scythan shakes her head. “No, no, don’t worry. How are you feeling now that we upped your dosage? Are you sleeping better now?”

                 Marie can't help but snort at that. The doctor gives a wry smile.

                 “I’ll take that for a no. Alright, we can-”

                 “It wasn’t because of the medication, though!”

                 “Oh?”

                 Marie thinks back to that night with Alcor, and the stars on the carpet, and her mouth seals shut. Shit, she thinks, demon things. She can’t say.

                 “You alright, Marie?” The doctor leans forwards. “Did something happen?”

                 She just shrugs. Her smile wobbles.

                 “Did you… take it as prescribed?”

                 “Yeah.”

                 “Once in the morning and-”

                 “Yeah. Yeah… yeah.” Marie hesitates, and then leans forwards. “Can I, um, ask you something?”

                 “Of course.”

                 “I-I mean, can I ask you something, and you’ll just answer it?”

                 Dr Scythan’s expression has turned carefully neutral. “Of course.”

                 “No! Like, I’m not crazy.” A flicker makes her grimace. “Not about this, at least. So even if it sounds crazy, it’s not crazy, okay?”

                 “Okay.”

                 Her expression still isn’t giving Marie much confidence, but she takes a breath. “Okay. Okay okay okay… okay. Um, can someone have more than one soul? In them.”

                 Dr Scythan’s eyebrows rise a little, but otherwise she hides her surprise well. “No. Not in any case that I’m aware of.”

                 “Okay, but what if they were little bits of souls?”

                 “Little bits of souls?”

                 She nods quickly. “Like lots of little bits of souls, they’re this big. Has that ever happened to anybody?”

                 “Um, no, I’m not aware of any case where that has occurred.” The doctor taps her laptop. “What prompted you to ask?”

                 “Don’t start writing stuff down, that’s not…” She trails off, and groans. “Okay, whatever. Forget I asked.”

                 “Are you sure? We can explore why you might be feeling this-”

                 “I’m not crazy!” Marie slams her arms down on the table. The pencil jumps, and she jumps back with it. “Sorry. I’m not… I’m not crazy.”

                 There’s a tapping sound as Dr Scythan types something in her laptop. She then turns to smile politely at Marie, who doesn’t meet her eyes.

                 “Alright, so about your medication. If it’s okay with you, we’re, uh, gonna pivot away from what we’ve been trying and see if we can’t find something more helpful…”

                 Marie narrows her eyes at the flickering in her periphery. She straightens the pencil, and tries her best to listen along.

______________________________________________________________

                 The wards go red when Marie gets in the car. Of all the things that happened today, this is the last straw; she rolls her eyes, throws her stuff in the back, shuts all the doors, and lets out a deep, deep sigh.

                 She lets it out, and then:

                 “Why are you still following me around?”

                 She watches the wards flare up, as if he jumped in surprise. She starts the car.

                 “Alcor. Why are you still following me around?” Gear shift. She reverses. “If you don’t want to tell me, you can at least leave me alone.”

                 As she drives down the parking lot, a dark figure comes into existence in the shotgun seat, head hung low like a scolded child. She waits for him to mumble out something.

                 “What was that?”

                 “I’m sorry.” He looks down, away. “About… last time we-”

                 “It’s fine.” She turns the wheel sharply. “Forget about it.”

                 Alcor shrinks back a little. “Oh, okay…”

                 With another eyeroll, Marie turns onto the main road. They ride in silence for a little while, until she stops at a light and glances over at him.

                 “Was that all you wanted to say? Sorry?” When he doesn’t respond, she looks back to the light. “Because you’ve been following me around for days, and-”

                 “I was making sure you were okay.”

                 “Oh, great.” She grips her steering wheel. “He sent you over again, huh.”

                 “No, no, Ben didn’t-! Ben didn’t send me, I just told him you were fine, l-like you wanted me to!”

                 “Uh huh. And what did he say?”

                 “Well, not much.” Alcor fiddles with his claws as they start moving again. “He said thank you, but I don’t think he really believed me… I’m sorry.”

                 At that, Marie sighs. “Don’t worry about it. Ben, he’s… hard to fool.”

                 “You can say that again.”

                 She gives a wry smile to that, but doesn’t laugh. They drive on for a little while, and she keeps her eyes on the road, ignoring the flickers in the edge of her vision. Now is not the time to get distracted.

                 “No,” Alcor starts again, quietly. “It was just me.”

                 “Just you for what?”

                 “Just me who wanted to see if you were okay.”

                 “Why?” Marie raises an eyebrow. “Because you want to poke around inside my head?”

                 “No! Just- nevermind. Forget it. I’m sorry.” They’re pulling into the driveway, and Alcor turns away. “I’m sorry, I’ll just go. I’ll leave you alone.”

                 She doesn’t reply. She turns off the car, looks down at the wards on her dashboard, and watches them drop off from burning red to cooling orange; it slowly turns green as Alcor’s residual energy fades. The car’s already heating up since the AC shut down, and she takes a deep breath of hot air.

                 There’s a flicker in the corner of her eye, and she lets it out in a deep sigh.

                 No people. No things to do. Marie thinks of texting Ben, but the thought of it twists her stomach  into knots. Everything feels twisted; her brain feels fired up, her body feels both like it wants to do something and like it’ll never move again. It’s like she’s trapped in her own skin, and she just wants to sleep it away but she can’t, she can’t…

                                 shecant

                                (not three you paused thats two and one NOT TWO)

                                                 shecantshecantshecant

                                                 (six NOT SIX)

                                                                 shecantshecantshecant

                                                                 (two one six three MAKE IT RIGHT MAKE IT RIGHT MAKE IT RIGHT)

                 Marie squeezes her eyes shut, and just sits there in the heat. Oh, god (ohgod ohgod), this is not going to be a good day. She doesn’t know what she’s going to do, she thought today’s session would help but it didn’t and now it’s going to be this for the rest of the day and she… she can’t do this.

                 A lump in her throat forms when that thought comes up. If she can’t do this, what is she going to do? Where does she even go from here?

                                 (go go go)

                 Marie feels her mind latch onto that, and she doesn’t like where it leads her.

                                                 (go from here go from here go from here)

                 Not because it feels scary, but

                                                 because it feels

                                                                                 almost

                                                                                                 sensible.

                                                                               like what kind of life is this? what has she even been doing for her life has she even gotten better no shes in the same damn place no matter where she goes no matter who she asks nobody can help nobody can ever help and besides nobody would really miss you-  

                 Flickers tapping on her glass. Grits her teeth, feels sweat bead on forehead.

                 “I can’t be alone right now.”

                 Words, spoken out loud. Marie feels the sweat pooling down her back, and she sits up, abruptly. Puts her key in the ignition, pretends to turn one two then actually on three.

                 The car starts up, and cool air blows in on her face. She sits there for a second, feeling the heat go down, staring at the green wards on her dashboard.

                 And finally, she sighs. Grits her teeth. Opens her mouth.

                 “Alcor?”

                 The wards immediately flicker back to red. Marie waits for him to appear, but he doesn’t. She groans.

                 “Alcor. Please come out.”

                 He comes back into existence next to her without making a sound. She tries to look over, but her eyes don’t quite rise enough to meet his.

                 “Hey, uh, Alcor. Sorry, I… I just wanted to…” She runs her hands down her face. “...Do you want to have some tea, o-or something. If you’re not busy.”

                 “You’re offering me tea?”

                 “And we could, I dunno, play some games or something. If you’re not busy. I have some board games. If you’re not busy.”

                 “Huh?” Alcor looks confused. “You want me to like, hang out? I thought you wanted-”

                 “Look, I don’t know what I want, okay? Just take it or leave it. I don’t care.”

                 “Oh. O-oh, okay…”

                 Marie watches him shrink back, and purses her lips. “Sorry. I meant to offer. I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

                 “That’s okay.”

                 “It’s not.” Her mouth twists into a grin. “I’m not very good at this.”

                 “Heh… me neither.”

                 “No?” Marie looks up at his glowing golden eyes, and blinks. “Oh, yeah, duh. You’re a demon.”

                 He nods at that, his wings awkwardly twitching. “Yup… that’s… that’s true. I am a demon.”

                 “Yeah…”

                 The conversation peters out there. After a weird moment of silence, the two of them share an uncomfortable laugh. Marie clears her throat.

                 “So, uh, tea?”

                 “Tea sounds good! Let’s go inside.”

                 He immediately jumps out of the car, and Marie turns off the engine. She sees him heading inside, and quickly taps (one two three) on the door handle before getting out and hurrying after him.

                 “Alright,” Marie says as she steps into the house. “You can take your shoes off on that rack… or you’re floating. You’re floating, don’t worry about it.”

                 “You sure?” Alcor snaps his fingers, and suddenly his dress shoes are sitting neatly by the door. He wiggles his socks at her. “It’s no big deal for me.”

                 She raises an eyebrow at that. “Huh. Neat trick.”

                 “Thanks!”

                 “Yeah…” After kicking her shoes off, she motions him into the kitchen. “I’ll get the teas going.”

                 “Ooo, what kinds have you got?”

                 “Kinds? What do you mean?”

                 “Kinds of tea?”

                 “Oh, uh… normal tea? I just get it from the supermarket.” She grimaces at him. “Are you like, an actual tea person? I’m sorry, I didn’t realise-”

                 “No, no, it’s fine! I’m not, I just- I thought you might’ve been, because you drink it so much.”

                 Marie snorts. “Ben told you that, didn’t he.”

                 “He did, uh, mention it once or twice.”

                 She chuckles at that as she picks up the kettle. Alcor leans against the stove behind her, and she moves over to the sink.

                 Turns the tap on… then turns it off, on, off, on, and cringes at the feeling of Alcor’s eyes on her back.

                 “Sorry,” she says, and sticks it under the water. “I, uh… Sorry.”

                 “No, don’t worry. It’s okay.”

                 Marie grits her teeth as she fiddles with the kettle switch until it’s (right). It’s not okay, she thinks. It’s ridiculous.

                 “You know, my sister really liked tea at one point.”

                 She blinks at that. Looks up at him.

                 “Your sister?”

                 “Yeah! I think it was Mabel, she liked-” Alcor stops there; he suddenly seems to realise he’s opened up a can of worms. “Ohhh… yeah. I, uh, had a sister. And she liked tea.”

                 Marie stares at him. “You had a sister?”

                 “Um. Yeah?”

                 “But you’re a demon?” She blinks again. “Ohh, you must be referring to the Mizar connection, not a literal, you know, blood relative thing. Sorry. Continue.”

                 Alcor makes a strange face at that, though, and she frowns.

                 “Or am I wrong?”

                 “Uh, it’s… it’s a long story?”

                 “You have a sister.”

                 “Had.”

                 “Huh. How does that work? How do demons even have-” Marie looks back at him, and notices he’s gone very still. “Oh, are you okay?” When he doesn’t answer immediately, she cringes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… bring up anything painful. Alcor?”

                 The kettle boils. After a long moment, Alcor seems to take a deep, shuddering breath, and she’s struck by how human he looks, now. If not for the wings wrapping around his form, it was hard to tell he was a demon at all.

                 He looks down at her, and there’s something fragile in his eyes when he tries for a smile.

                 “I’m… I’m okay. Sorry, just, it’s hard to explain it.” He blinks hard, but the shine doesn’t go away. “Even after all these years, it’s… it never gets easier.”

                 “Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.” All of a sudden, Marie’s words feel like pittance to this ancient being’s grief. She gulps, and gets out two cups. “Do you like tea? Or sugar?”

                 “Huh? Oh…” Alcor floated closer as she poured it. “I’ll take sugar.”

                 “How much?”

                 “Uh, a lot? I like sugar.”

                 Marie cracks a smile. “You do, huh. Alright, say when.”

                 She takes out a spoon and starts putting the sugar in - she sprinkles it at first, but when he shows no sign of telling her when, she digs up another spoonful and pours it in. Then another. Then another. Then she glances back at him.

                 Alcor cocks his head. “What?”

                 “...You want me to keep going?”

                 “Oh, yeah, yeah.”

                 “Okay, you      really    like sugar.” She passes the spoon to him. “Why don’t you, uh, figure out how much you want. I’m gonna get the milk.”

                 “Oh, sounds good!”

                 Marie steps back, and watches him put the spoon down and start pouring sugar directly into his mug. She opens her mouth to say something, but decides to let it be. If he wants to drink damp sugar… whatever. She’s not in the mood to raise a stink.

                 She walks to the fridge, and sees a flicker in the corner of her eye as she opens the door. Pointedly, she ignores it.

                 “Who’s he?”

                 Marie looks over at Alcor. “Huh?”

                 “I keep seeing him around you.” Alcor motions with the sugar bag to the corner of the room, and she stops dead. “Oh, he’s gone again. Who is he?”

                 “You… you see my hallucinations?”

                 “Oh, I see hallucinations, yeah. I’m a dream demon, I see all the stuff that’s in your head.” He absentmindedly chews on a spoonful of sugar, his eyes distant, deep in thought. “Yours are… strange, though. They feel more… separate than-”

                 Marie can feel her heart thudding in her chest. “A-actually,” she cuts in, and sets the milk down hard on the counter. “I-I don’t- I don’t want to talk. About this. Right now.”

                 Her hands are shaking as she picks up her tea. To his credit, Alcor seems to pick up on this.

                 “Oh, sorry!”

                 “It’s fine.”

                 “I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to - oh, oh no, I wasn’t trying to link it back to the soul bits thing! I’m so sorry, I was just wondering-”

                 “It’s      fine.”     Marie grimaces at the flicker in her vision. “I don’t care, I just… I don’t want to talk about him right now. I don’t want to think about him.”

                 She pours her milk. Watches it swirl in her cup. Takes a deep breath, and lets it out.

                 “I want to…” she starts, and then stops. “I want to do something else.”

                 “Okay. Like a show, or a game, or-”

                 “A game sounds good!” Marie glances over at his feet. “I’m not very good at just sitting and watching something… but we could play a game! I got lots of board games.”

                 “Oh, yeah? Which ones do you have?”

                 “We have, uh… let me check.” Marie screws the cap onto the milk, sticks it in the fridge as she passes, then leans down to the games cabinet under one of the counters. “I got tons of them from when Ben was living here… Do you know Feed the Moon?”

                 “No? What’s that?”

                 “Oh, it’s this board game developed by some of the first lunar colonists, it’s interesting, it’s, uh…” She makes a face. “Kinda complicated, involves a lot of… graph paper… actually, I don’t want to get into a game like that right now. Do you know Oligopoly?”

                 “Ugh.”

                 Marie snorts. “Yeah, it’s not the best.” She rubs her eyes as she picks through the cabinet. “What else? We got, uh… Oh, we got chess?”

                 “Chess?”

                 Alcor’s head pops up from above the counter; it makes her jump.

                 “Uh, yeah? Do you like it?” She eyes the sugar all down his suit. “Did you finish that whole bag?”

                 “Yes! I love chess! I’m so glad it’s still around!” He grabs the board. “I mean, it’s not surprising, it’s older than me, but still!”

                 Marie looks at him. He’s already taking the board to her coffee table, his wings fluttering excitedly as he starts to set up the pieces. For a moment, his smile is so happy, so open, that she hardly even notices how it’s made up of knifelike fangs. For a moment, Alcor the Dreambender doesn’t look all that much like a demon to her.

                 He kind of looks like a young Ben.

                 Then Alcor looks over at her, and worry seeps into the shine in his eyes. “Oh…” he says, and she blinks. “Sorry, did you want to play chess? We can play something else if-”

                 “No, no, it’s fine! I like chess too.” Marie tries for a smile. She’s surprised at how natural it feels. “I’ll just get my tea.”

______________________________________________________________

                 Morning passes gently into the afternoon. Shadows slowly slide around the house as the sun dips lower, and rays of light reach a chessboard on the coffee table. It’s halfway through a game. The pieces are stopped there; a black queen stands side by side with a white knight, like they’ve called a ceasefire.

                 On the couch, overlooking them, is Marie. She lies back in the cushions, her fingers laced over her chest, her breath coming slow, steady. As Alcor watches, she grunts and shifts, and sinks a little lower in her seat. He can feel her aura, and at least for now, it’s as still and as peaceful as he’s ever felt it be.

                 He smiles at that. Then he leans down, and conjures a blanket to cover her sleeping form. He picks up her empty cup of tea, and brings it over to the counter.

                 Once that’s done, Alcor settles back down in the chair opposite her, and just listens to all the little sounds of this moment.

                 It was a good few games of chess, he thinks. It feels like they both needed that.

[bittysvalentines]

Only if You Want To

From @bitty-smol​

To @pastelle-pvnk

Rating: Teen (for swearing)

Hey pastelle-pvnk! I hope you like your gift, because I had a lot of fun writing it for you! (P.S. we should totes become friends because we have a lot of the same interests, so hit me up <3)

That being said, he was sure of at least one thing: he was in love with his coworker, Derek Malik Nurse. 

He was not necessarily a willing participant in this. The revelation came as a shock to him and once the thought crossed his mind, it wouldn’t leave. No matter how many times Dex tried to forget about his unfortunate unrequited love, it would just come back full force. 

It came like this: Nursey chirping him in the middle of a shift and then proceeding to eat shit while hopping the counter.

how am i in love with a man who can barely stand on his own two feet?

oh shit.

If anything, that should’ve helped the whole “in-love-with-your-completely-idiotic-coworker” thing, since Nurse was forced to take paid leave for a good month while his leg healed. Dex thought that not seeing him would lessen whatever he was feeling, but in retrospect it made it so much worse. 

He missed Nursey. Like, a lot. Like, more than you should hypothetically miss a coworker, regardless of the crush you have on them. 

That’s why, when Nursey finally returned, he couldn’t help the small tug he felt in his chest or the urge he felt to step out from behind the counter and hug Nursey as soon as he got close enough.

“Woah, Poindexter. Did you really miss me that much?” Nursey muttered against Dex’s shoulder. 

Dex’s heart hurt.

“No, but I did miss you at register. Johnson kept telling the customers that he was only taking over until the main love interest gets back, whatever that means.” Dex folded his arms and looked over at Johnson who was currently staring at him and Nursey as if he knew something they didn’t.

“Yeah, well I’m glad to be back,” Nursey stepped back from Dex, “I didn’t think I would miss going home smelling like pastries, but turns out it grew on me. I’m gonna go say hi to Bitty and clock in.” Nursey turned towards Bitty’s office and started walking away.

“Um, Nursey!” Dex shouted, his hand coming up to the back of his neck as if he could cover the blush that was creeping up. Nursey turned slowly, his face blank.

“Yes, Poindexter?”

“I, um,” Dex met Nursey’s eyes with his own.”I did. Uh, miss you, that is.”

Dex’s blush couldn’t help but crawl up his cheeks as he saw the smile that spread across Nursey’s face. 

“I missed you too, Dexy.” Nursey said, turning his back and heading back towards Bitty’s office.

Before Dex could let the “I missed you too” comment take over him he managed to call back “Don’t call me that, Nurse!”

Nursey couldn’t help but smile.

_X_

Nursey is in love. But then again, he always is. 

Derek Nurse cannot remember a time in the immediate past where he was not waxing poetic about some person or another. His sister called him a “disaster bi” and like, yeah, he could agree with that. But something about Dex was different.

His dreams were filled with fiery red hair and pale, freckled skin. More often than not, he found himself writing poetry about a muse that hardly even gave him the time of day and when he did, it was to chirp him. 

Maybe he was a glutton for punishment or maybe he was in that purgatory where life is just slightly shitty. Like, yeah, you can be in close proximity with the one you love, but they will never give you an ounce of reciprocation. 

That’s why when he finally came back to work after the counter incident (“Nurse, the counter lifts up for a reason.” “Now that wouldn’t be any fun, would it, Dexy.”) he couldn’t help but take the hug that Dex was offering.

Fuck, he missed him. 

And then Dex had said that he had missed him and-

Fuck, he was fucked.

After the hug, he found himself walking to Bitty’s office in a sort of daze, opening the door to find Bitty chatting away on the phone.

“Oh, I’ve gotta go, sweetpea. Nursey just walked back into the office,” Nursey took a seat in front of Bitty’s desk as he finished up the call. “Yeah, honey, I love you too. Bye.”

“So, how’s Jack?” Nursey asked, with a smirk on his face.

“He’s great. He just finished up teaching a class, so he called me before his office hours began to talk about dinner with his parents tonight.” Bitty said, smiling as he did. 

Seeing Bitty and Jack’s relationship gave Nursey genuine hope for his future love life, as well as a model for how a healthy relationship should look. They had been together for at least three years now and on their way to many more. 

“That’s great, Bitty.” Nursey smiled.

“Well, I know you didn’t come in here to talk about me. How’s your leg?” Bitty asked, standing up to walk around his desk and get a better look.

“Good as new,” Nursey said, bending his knee back and forth as if to prove his point.

“Oh thank goodness! You had me worried there for a second, Derek.” Bitty paused. “So uh, have you seen Dex yet?”

So, here’s the thing about being friends with your boss: they know far more than a boss should at any given time. 

It also doesn’t help that a few work outings ago, when Bitty was watching a drunk Nursey (a job, lovingly titled Nursey duty), he ended spilling his guts to Bitty. It was quite cute, really, aside from the vomit that ended up on his shoes for his troubles. 

“I have. Uh, seen him, that is.” Nursey stopped and looked at Bitty from across the desk. “He gave me a hug. It was… really nice.”

“That’s sweet, Nursey,” Bitty smiled, a small grin tugging at his lips.

Bitty finished giving Nursey the rundown of new recipes and products, but he couldn’t help but think that work at the bakery was about to get a whole lot more interesting.

_X_

Eric Bittle was no stranger to pining. Nor was he a stranger to emotionally constipated boys. He knew how to spot said boys from a mile away and he has made it one of his personal missions to help them as much as he possibly can. 

Bitty’s love life had been rocky to say the least. He moved out of Georgia and straight to Providence, Rhode Island to pursue his baking career. He’s not exactly sure why he chose Providence, but as he stared at a map one day it just seemed… right (that and when he threw a dart at the map, that's where it landed). So there he was, enough cash in his pocket to rent out an old restaurant space and a whole lot of motivation. 

Not a month after he had opened, Bitty had already become a staple business in the community. He had a solid group of regulars and found himself making more than enough to sustain his business and set himself up in a nice apartment. 

He loved his employees, his customers, his job. He really just loved his life. So when all of a sudden Mr. Tall and Handsome walked into the bakery, Bitty knew he was gonna have a problem. He knew as soon as he had seen those bright blue eyes and, oh lord, that <i>butt</i>, that he had to get to know that beautiful man.  

And so it turned out that his name was Jack Zimmermann. He was a history professor at the local university and an avid runner, as Bitty would come to find out. 

He came in almost every morning during his runs and often times after teaching classes to grade papers and answer emails. It was in times like these where Bitty made it his mission to befriend Jack. Before long, he found himself talking with Jack longer and longer and even took it upon himself to make Jack his favorite pie after a particularly hard week at school.

It wasn’t until Dex brought it up that Bitty had even realized what was happening. 

“So, like, are you ever gonna actually ask him on a date?” Dex had asked the day after Bitty had presented Jack with his pie.

“I don’t think I understand what you mean, William.” Bitty said, playing coy. He knew exactly what he wanted to do with Jack, but he wasn’t about to make one of his favorite customers (and people, in general) uncomfortable if everything went south.

“Dude, are you kidding me?” Dex said. “He’s smitten with you, I just don’t think he realizes it yet.” 

So one confession and an ice skating date later, they were official. It didn’t feel like some big event though, it just felt like something had clicked into place. Like this was exactly how his life was meant to be. 

And he just wanted Nursey and Dex to feel that too.

_X_

Once Nursey fully returned to work things got back to normal. Or as normal as they could be, he guesses.

He found himself working with Dex more and more often, whether it be opening or closing with him. It’s kind of nice, if he’s being honest. He couldn't remember a time when work was so fun.

Not to mention that he and Dex become a lot closer than before and dare he say it- friends, even. Sometimes after they closed they’d go out for drinks and when they’d open Dex would make Nursey his favorite salted caramel latte before the early birds arrived. They didn’t fight about dumb shit anymore, only the important things, like if pineapple belongs on pizza or not (Derek totally thinks it does). 

While all of this is all well and good, Nursey’s feelings are only growing. He found himself staring at Dex more and more often and can't help but try to make him laugh every chance he gets. 

Dex has a really nice laugh. 

But that's besides the point. They're friends now and Nursey does not want to ruin that. Even if it does mean suffering through work or staying out much later before opening shifts than he should, just so he can spend more time with Dex. He can handle a little self-control. 

Or at least he hopes he can. 

_X_

Jack Zimmermann was a lucky man and he knew it. He had a job that he loved, teaching at a well-established university. He had amazing students who wanted to learn. He had a devastatingly handsome boyfriend (soon to be fiancé, if he plays his cards right) who loved him.

That being said, he knows exactly the kind of person Bitty is. He's got a big heart, sometimes to a fault. He wants to see everyone happy and Jack can’t be mad at that. 

Which is why when Bitty tells him all about the plan he comes up with, he can’t help but go along with it.

He sends out an email to his students to let them know that class on the 13th is cancelled due to an “unforeseen emergency” and heads to the bakery per Bitty’s request.

It’s going to be a long night.

_X_

Unsurprisingly, Valentine’s day was one of the busiest days of the year at the bakery. They always ended up selling out of their chocolate strawberry creme pies and heart-shaped sugar cookies. Nursey and Dex started their shifts at the same time, as had become normal, neither looking forward to the rush that would inevitably come.

Nursey was taking orders and dishing up pastries, while Dex was making the drinks. They made a solid team and time seemed to pass so much faster when they worked together. When Jack came in around seven Dex was shocked to find that he had almost been working a full seven hours already, the hours flying by. He finally stopped to look at Nursey, who looked about as tired as he felt. His heart fluttered at the little smile Nursey gave him, before he turned back to take another customer's order.

“Jack, honey, what are you doing here?” Bitty said, as he came out of the kitchen. He was a mess, covered in flour from head to toe and smelling of chocolate from baking with it all day.

“Bits, I told you that I had made a dinner reservation for us at 8, didn’t I?” Jack said, coming around the corner to press a kiss to Bitty’s forehead.

As he said that Bitty couldn't help the look of shock that crossed his face. 

“Oh sweet pea, I can't believe I forgot! I'm supposed to close tonight.” 

Nursey and Dex exchanged a look between the two of them, before Dex made a resigned sigh and mumbled, “We can close if you need us to Bitty.”

With that, Bitty turned to the both of them with a smile wider than they had ever seen. 

“Y'all would really do that for me?” Bitty was still looking at them with shining eyes. 

“Of course, brah. It's chill.” Nursey spoke up, after a moment. “We want you to have your romantic date night so that we can live vicariously through you.”

“The night is still young,” Bitty sang as he brushed past the both of them, “I'll go grab my stuff from my office and then we can leave, honey.” 

“So, euh, thanks for doing this you guys,” Jack said, rubbing the back of his neck as he did so. 

“No problem, Jack,” Nursey said, “Bitty deserves a break anyways. He said he stayed late last night working on something.”

“Uhm, yeah, about that-” Jack started.

“Alright, sugar, let’s go,” Bitty said, as he came back from the office. He laid a hand on Jack’s arm and looked right at Nursey. “Close the doors right at nine and make sure to take the money back into my office. Don’t bother counting it tonight, I’ll do it in the morning.”

“Ready, Bits?” Jack asked, smirking and cocking an eyebrow at his boyfriend.

“As I’ll ever be, Mr. Zimmermann,” Bitty said, turning back to Nursey and Dex. “Thank you boys, have fun!”

“Yeah, we’ll try,” Dex mumbled, bumping into Nursey’s shoulder as he turned back to the espresso machine to make a drink.

_X_

Luckily, the rest of their shift went by pretty quickly. All of the customers had cleared out around 8:45, presumably to spend the night with their significant others. They had cleaned the cafe area and were finishing up the kitchen, when Nursey went to the front to begin collecting the money and closing out the register.

“Lame Valentine’s day, right?” Dex said, walking up behind Nursey as he was putting the cash in the bank bag.

“Eh, it wasn’t too bad,” Nursey said softly, as he glanced back quickly to look at Dex. “There isn’t anywhere else I’d rather be.” He whispered, turning around fully to face Dex. 

“Derek…” Their eyes met and they stayed that way for a few moments, before Nursey broke the trance.

“C’mon, let’s take the money to the back so we can get out of here,” Nursey mumbled, brushing past Dex. He’s not sure if he’s getting warm because he’s embarrassed or nervous. It had sounded as though Dex was going to respond to his advance, but instead he just… hadn’t. 

Nursey had been thinking so deeply about the encounter they had just had that he hadn’t noticed the giant red heart on the outside of Bitty’s office door. He did, however, notice that the normally plain office now looked as though Cupid himself had thrown up all over it.

There was a round table in the middle of the room, where Bitty’s desk usually sat, covered in a rich red table cloth, roses, champagne, and of course a strawberry chocolate cream pie. Next the the pie sat a note that read:

Dear Nursey and Dex, 

It was clear to me that neither of you were going to make the first move, so let this be it. The way you look at each other reminds me of the way that Jack and I used to look at each other. How we still look at each other. Y’all have something so special and I just want you both to be happy. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Love,

Bitty

“Hey, what’s- oh holy shit.” Nursey turned to find Dex staring at the office with wide eyes. He looked like a wild animal trying to decide whether he should run away or not. “What the fuck is all this?”

“Well,” Nursey started, “It’s Bitty’s Valentine’s Day present to us.” He finished, chancing a glance at the other boy as he moved to take the note from Nursey’s hand to read it. Dex read the note, before taking a seat at one of the chairs seated at the table. 

“Am I that fucking obvious?” Dex asked, running his hands through his hair. 

Which is… Not exactly what Nursey was expecting to hear.

“What are you talking about?” Nursey could feel his forehead scrunching as he asked the question. He was really fucking lost.

“Oh c’mon Nurse, there’s a reason that Bitty did this. Apparently I’m shit at hiding my feelings and he wanted to pity me by giving me a little hope today.” Dex sighed, “You don’t have to go along with this Derek, I understand it makes you uncomfortable.”

Nursey just sat there dumbfounded, because- what?

“Dex, are you fucking kidding me?” Dex’s head shot up at that. “Did you even read the note?”

Nursey couldn’t help but to laugh. How is this his life? He crossed the room to stand in front of Dex, whose expression was still blank.

“He did this for the both of us, you idiot,” Nursey couldn’t stop the smile spreading on his face. “Apparently neither of us have been very good at hiding our feelings. Although in my defense, I was drunk when I confessed to Bitty. You’re just always in awe of my beauty, apparently.” That final jab was the one to snap Dex back to reality.

“Don’t flatter yourself too much Nurse,” Dex mumbled, crossing his arms and refusing to meet Nursey’s gaze.

“It’s okay Dex. I’m always in awe of you too.” At this, Dex finally looked up at Nursey, who was slowly uncrossing Dex’s arms. “Kinda hard not to be.” He whispered, taking Dex’s hands into his. They stared at each other for a few moments, both men afraid to look away.

“Did our boss just fucking matchmake us?” Dex whispered, rubbing his thumbs back and forth on Nursey’s knuckles. Nursey couldn’t help but laugh.

“I guess he did,” Nursey said, flicking his eyes down to Dex’s mouth. “So like, I know we both just became aware of this whole thing, but can I kiss you? I’ve waited so fucking long.”

Dex’s eyes widened and he began shaking his head. 

“Fuck yes,” Dex said, stretching up to meet Derek’s mouth and covering it with his own. By the time they finished kissing they were both breathless.

“Okay, so,” Dex started, “I know that Bitty planned this whole thing for us, but-”

“You wanna take this elsewhere?” Derek finished.

“Only if you want to,” Dex said, looking happier than Derek had seen him all night.

“That’s alI want,” Nursey whispered.

With that, Derek couldn’t help but think that work at the bakery was about to get a whole lot more interesting.

[stanleyurris]

i woulda followed all the way to the graveyard

“Oh, thank God.” Is the first thing Adrian hears when he wakes up, a hand wrapped tightly around his own. He looks over, the best he can through his hurting eyes, and he sees his boyfriend smiling, and he squeezes his hand, gripping it harder. “I was worried you wouldn’t wake up, and the doctors said that  might be a possibility, and I couldn’t stop worrying, and-”

“Hey, I'm fine now, aren’t I?” He says in a raspy voice, coughing as soon as he finishes his sentence. Don nods, standing up suddenly to hug him, hands wrapped tight around his shoulders. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I thought I lost you.” Don speaks, voice shaking, and Adrian wraps his own arms around him, wires be damned. “You weren’t breathing, as soon as they saw you weren’t breathing they ran, and I had to do CPR, and they were almost too late when I called 911, and-and I thought-”

“You don’t have to think of that anymore, Don.” He says, and Don nods against him, shoulders shaking. “I’m okay. I’m fine. I’ll survive, and as soon as we can, we can leave this shithole and move to New York, or Hawkins, or some random ass town no one knows about. Anywhere that isn’t here, alright?”

“Alright.”

Don pulls back and wipes at his eyes, and his mouth opens to speak again, when a nurse walks into the room, smiling warmly at Adrian when she sees he’s awake.

“How are you feeling, Mr. Mellon?” She asks, walking over to check his vitals.

“As good as I can, miss.” He gives a small smile, and she seems to accept that as the best answer, coming over to pull up his cover.

“Do you feel any pain? If you need us to, we can give you more medicine.”

He shakes his head, I can’t afford that, and thanks her. She just smiles at him and moves to leave, but before she reaches the door, she turns back around.

“I almost forgot! You don’t have to worry about your bill anymore, Mr. Mellon. Three kind gentlemen already paid for it.” She smiles, and he frowns, confused.

“Who?”

“Oh, I’m not really supposed to say, but I guess they won’t really care. Richie Tozier, Ben Hanscom, and Bill Denbrough all paid off your bill. They wouldn’t stop harassing us until we finally let them pay it off.” She says, smiling, and she leaves the room, like she didn’t just say something that affects him more than she knows.

“Oh my God, Adrian.” Don says, and Adrian turns to look at his boyfriend, and he’s smiling so hard. “Famous people just paid your bill. Oh my God, they’re in Derry. Derry.”

“Holy fuck.” He mumbles, and he’s confused, so very confused, why did three celebrities decide to pay his bill out of everyone, but he’s smiling so wide and his face hurts so much.

“Adrian, you’re so incredibly lucky.” Don breathes out, and he nods, reaching out to hold his hand. He grips him, tightly, and he closes his eyes, relaxing back. “I love you.”

“I love you too, D.” He replies, and he's never said those words in that order, but it feels so incredibly easy to say, and he decides, in that moment, he won’t mind saying them again.

-

He gets released Friday, a week and a day after the attack happened. He’s still in shock from everything that happened, and there’s scars from what happened, but it’s fine now. He does, though, wish he had a chance to thank the three for paying off his bill, but he won’t ever have a chance, so it doesn't matter now.

All that matters is what he sees on his phone.

Richie Tozier

@trashmouth

I have two things to announce to everyone, and this isn’t a joke. I need you to know that this isn’t a joke tweet.

None of my jokes have been written by me, all of them are written by other people.

I’m bisexual, and I’ve been in love with a man for 27 years.

He’s surprised, and for the first time, he wonders if the fact he got beat up by being gay is what made Richie Tozier, best stand-up comedian out there, choose to pay his bill. Not the lady that broke her hip. Not the boy who broke his arm. Him.

He feels happy and sad at the same time, and he can't tell which one is right.

So he leaves his house, and he walks down the street, not thinking of anything. He doesn’t think about the homophobes in the town, or the fact that he doesn’t have anybody he can call his own family, and certainly not the fact that he doesn’t have anyone he can call on in this shitty town, other than Don.

Not thinking about any of that stuff.

He doesn’t pay attention to where he’s going, and soon enough, he finds himself at the kissing bridge. It’s empty, and he’s very glad it is, because it means he gets the freedom to go over to do his carving, and no one can bother him over it, but as soon as he gets to the spot, he hears an engine running. He freezes, and he wants to run, but a car pulls up and stops before he can leave, and he’s shocked again, because Richie Tozier climbs out of the car.

“Oh, sorry, did I interrupt something?” The man asks, and he sounds worried, and Adrian shakes his head, because he didn’t, really. All he was going to do was carve him and Don’s initials, anyways. 

“No, you didn’t interrupt anything.” He says, softly, and Richie nods, coming over to him.

“Can I still apologize, though? I feel like I interrupted something, still.” Adrian shrugs, and the two stay silent, staring at all the names carved into the bridge.

“I’m Richie.” The man speaks a minute later, and Adrian turns to look at him. “What’s your name?”

“Adrian. Adrian Mellon.” He shoves his hands into his pockets and turns to look back at the wood, and he tries to ignore Richie staring at him.

“Are you okay?” He finally asks a moment later, and Adrian shrugs. “I heard what happened, and I want to know if you’re okay.”

“I will be, eventually. Once I get out of this shitty town.” 

“Good. Everything’s better when you get out of this hell-hole.” Richie says, and Adrian nods, finally turning to look at the man when a thought crosses his mind.

“How did you find out what happened to me?” He asks, and Richie rubs his hand on the back of his neck, looking embarrassed.

“It might’ve been because me and my friends passed by the people that beat you up and beat them up until they told us what they did?” Adrian’s mouth drops, and Richie laughs nervously when he sees the sight. “I know, I probably shouldn’t have done that, but I just fucking hate homophobes, and my friends really hate them too.”

“Thank you, I guess?” He says after a couple seconds, glancing away, nervously twisting the ends of his jacket. “And thank you for paying my bill.”

“You’re welcome. It wasn’t a problem; Bill and Ben didn’t hesitate to help pay it. They wanted to pay for it all on their own, and we all fought for a couple minutes on which one would do it, until Beverly and Eddie finally had a solution.” He laughs, wiping a tear from his eye, and Adrian acts like he doesn’t notice it, knowing he would want someone to do the same.

“Can you thank them for me? You and them, literally changed my life with that decision, and I want them to know how much that means to me.” He asks, and when Richie nods, he feels so relieved. “Thank you. Thank you so much.” He pauses, and he tries to think on how he can say it any other way, but there isn’t, so the best he can say is “Can I hug you?” while watching Richie’s reaction.

Richie looks shocked for a second, but he smiles, stepping forward, and he hugs Adrian, as the answer to the question. Adrian only comes up to his shoulders, and it shouldn’t make Adrian as happy as he is, but also holy fuck he’s hugging his role model right now holy fuck. 

“This is amazing.” He says into his chest, and he feels, rather than hears, Richie chuckle at that. 

A few moments later, he finally pulls away, and he looks down. “Thank you, again. For everything.”

“It’s not a problem. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Richie smiles down at him, and Adrian feels happy inside. “Do you want my number, so we can talk later?”

“Yeah, but I want to make sure, it’s not for you to try and fuck me, is it?” He asks, and Richie laughs at that, shaking his head already.

“No, no, I’m not trying to fuck you. I just want to be your friend.” 

“Okay.” Adrian says at that, and he holds his hand out, Richie’s phone dropping into it a few seconds later. He finds contacts easily, and he’s finished typing his name and handing it back when he sees the name Eddie with a heart beside it. “Who’s Eddie?”

Richie freezes beside him, and when he turns to look at him, a couple of tears are coming down his face, and he slightly panics, thinking he did something wrong. 

“Shit, I’m sorry.” Adrian says, turning towards him,a nd his eyes are wade and his hands are moving everywhere, trying to think of something to say, something to do, but before he can get another word out, Richie speaks, voice low.

“He was my best friend.” He gets out, and he grips his phone tightly, as if he’ll lose it if he doesn’t. “He was the one the tweet was about.”

“The man you’ve been in love with for 20-something years?” He says, and he doesn’t speak loudly, for all the world can hear. He speaks quietly, this conversation just between the two of them, standing in front of the Kissing Bridge.

“Yeah. God, yeah.” Richie breathes deeply, pressing a hand to his eyes. “He was the man I’ve been in love with for 27 years, longer than that, even, and I never got to even tell him that. I never got to tell him that I loved him, because he got killed by the stupid fucking clown that killed my best friend’s little brother.”

“Did... did the clown have orange hair and white skin?” He asks, the image popping into his head, because that’s what he saw the night he almost died, it was in the bushes, and it would’ve gotten him if the ambulances hadn’t shown up. 

Richie’s fallen silent at that, and he shoves his phone in his pocket, looking at Adrian.

“How did you know?” He asks, and Adrian looks down at the ground.

“He was one of the bullies that attacked me, and he transformed on the edge of the bridge, in the bushes, like he wanted to leap out and grab me and eat me whole, and I-I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget that face.” His breath hitches, and he pulls out his inhaler, shaking it and holding it to his lips quickly, pressing down. He breathes in, deeply, sighing as soon as he has enough air in his lungs. 

“God, I’m so sorry.” Richie says, and Adrian shrugs.

“You couldn’t have stopped it.”

“Oh, trust me, I could’ve. Thank god you weren’t the first victim. Or any victim, for that matter.” 

“Wh-what do you mean victim?” He asks, and he’s suddenly cold, even though the sun’s shining and it’s over 80 degrees out.

“Shit, you don’t know.” Richie says, and when he sits on the sidewalk, Adrian follows, sitting in front of him.

“So, you saw the clown, right? He has orange hair, white skin, and a fucking outfit from like the 1800’s. He’s, uh, he’s been terrorizing this town since before your grandparents were even thought of. Before your great-great-grandparents were even thought of. He’s been here for like, thousands of years, terrorizing locals every 27 years, eating some kids and I guess he occasionally wanted to eat adults, unless he mistook them for 16-year-olds, like I did with you. So, he wakes up every 27 years, and he goes up to the surface, and he gets kids he wants to eat, he chooses them, and then he takes them, away from their place, and he eats them. He always tricks them, using things they like, and when they trust him, he just eats them.

“That’s how… that’s how we think he got my best friend’s brother, Georgie. Because Bill didn’t feel like going out, so Georgie went out when it was raining, with his paper boat, and he never returned, and they found his blood at the drain, with torn paper, and we think he just tricked him. Just like he did it with the other kids. He took Betty, and we found her shoe in the drain, and then later, in-in the Neibolt house, me and Bill, uh, saw her. We saw her get dragged backwards, and then It tricked me into a room, using Eddie, where I saw my fear, and he almost got me, reaching out. But Bill got the door open and we were in the room we saw Betty in, and a form of Eddie was in the mattress, and when we turned around, there were three, uh, doors. 

“One said Very Scary, one just said Scary, and the last one said Not Scary At All, and since we were dumb, we just choose Not Scary At All. And it’s quiet, right? Then we hear the voice of a girl, saying something about her shoes, and I reach up and turn on the light, and her hands were strapped to the top of the closet, and her body was just hanging, and she didn’t have anything below her wait, and we could see her guts, the blood dripping, and she just screamed at us, and we yelled and slammed the door shut, and I started to freak out, and Bill calmed me down, and told that it wasn’t real.

“I believed him, and we open the door, and we hear Eddie screaming, and we run, and we find the room, and It’s leaning over him, glaring at us, and I guess he heard Bill, because he starts talking, doing a sad voice, saying something like ‘Is this not real enough for you?’ and then he tells him, uh, that it was real enough for Georgie, and he charges at us, and we just cowered, but our badass friend Beverly slammed a pole into his head, and he stops, and we move around him and scramble over to Eddie, and he hurts our friend Ben, and he almost comes at us, but he slinks down to the basement and disappears down a well, and I set, uh, Eddie’s arm, uh, and then we leave as fast as our bikes will fucking taking us, uh, and we take Eddie to his mom, and she calls Beverly a slut and insults us, and then she leaves with Eddie.

“And then we fight. Not really, but me and Bill throw a couple punches and he gets me in the face, and for a couple weeks, I don’t talk to him and I go to my other best friend Stan’s Bar Mitzvah, and he curses and I help him, and then I go to the arcade and Bill comes and tells me Beverly got taken, and we all go to save her, and we almost die in the process and Bill almost lets himself get taken by It, but I pull out a bat and slam it into his face, and then we all jump forward and beat the shit out of him, and he disappears, and we thought he had died. He didn’t, though, but we made a promise that if he ever came back, we would come back too.

“And then we, uh, we mostly did.”

“What do you mean, mostly?” Adrian asks quietly, and the sounds of nature fill the silence as Richie stares at the wood, his hands playing with the knife he pulled out of his pocket.

“You know how I went to my friend Stan’s Bar Mitzvah?” Adrian nods, and Richie sighs, staring down. “He killed himself. He killed himself, because the stupid fucker thought that if all seven of us went, we would all die. So he killed himself so we could all survive, and he knew of my feelings for Eddie, and he thought we would be happy together, but I guess he didn’t even think that Eddie would die too.” He wipes his eyes, and if his voice shakes again when he speaks, then Adrian doesn’t say a word about it.

“It started killing again the day you got attacked, because he went and he killed someone else, and that’s how Mike knew he was back, because he went down and he saw a message written in blood, and he called all of us, and we came. And then we saw a message It sent for us, and we cried and we fought and we got things from our past, we performed this ritual, but it didn’t fucking work, and we had to run and face fears and I had to stare into, these, these fucking deadlights and I saw Eddie die right in front of me and the Eddie threw a rod at It and I dropped, and I stared up at him, because I just saw him dead, and he was so happy, because he was saying he killed him, and a claw just came through his chest, and his blood sprayed all over him, and he fucking took him away.

“I got to him, and the other’s were fighting It, shrinking him, but I wrapped my jacket around him and said I would be back soon, and I helped kill It, but when I came back, Eddie was dead. I d-didn’t even get to take his body back up, because everything was collapsing, and when we got up and out the house, everything collapsed, and they had to hold me back because in those hours, I would’ve died with Eddie. And we went back to our special place, and we all cried, and now the other’s are still at the hotel, waiting for me to return.”

Richie’s turned away, and Adrian’s crying, but he doesn’t wipe them away, and he’s instead looking at Richie, and he feels so sad for him.

“I’m sorry, that all of that happened to you.” Is all he manages, and it isn’t even a lot, but it’s enough for Richie, who turns to him and smiles through the crying.

“Thanks.” Is what he says, and he walks to his car, and he stands by the door for a moment. “If you ever need me, just text me, alright? I just cried out that entire story to you, and you didn’t act like you wanted me to hurry up. You just listened, and if you ever need something like that with me, just text, call, whatever, alright? If someone beats you up, or you need me to pick you up, text me. I don’t care if you think you’ll be interrupting me, just do it.”

“O-okay, I will.” Adrian says, and Richie climbs into his car and drives off, and when he looks back at the blank spot of wood on the bridge, he realizes he feels better than when he first started walking there.

He pulls out the knife, and he kneels in front of the wood, and he brings his knife up.

[justanotherdeadgirlwalking]

That is Just the Saddest F**king Thing I Have Ever Heard.

TW obviously DEH is about a kid’s suicide, so it has those themes

other parts :)

Part Three.

I’ve been alone in the room for what feels like hours now. Doctors and nurses keep coming and going, pricking me with needles and giving me medicine to take, taking my vitals, and asking me how I feel. Rate my mental state on a scale of 1 to 10. I feel fine, I just want to get the fuck out of here. They could’ve at least put me in a room with a TV or given me a magazine or a book or something, literally anything. I’m so bored. If I didn’t lose my mind already, I definitely will if I have to spend another minute in this room. The only thing keeping me company is the beeping of the heart monitor, and the hissing of the air unit. I’ve counted all the cracks in the ceiling, and I’ve recited every song I know. I started playing a game where I see how high I can count before another person walks into the room. I got up to 6000. We need to pick up the pace here. I get they’re worried that there could still be something wrong with me, but if I was asleep for the unspecified amount of time everyone keeps referring to as a “long time,” I think if something was going to happen, it would have. I just took a really long nap, its fine, let me go home.

Everyone that walks in keeps saying that they’re happy to see me awake, that I was so missed. “Don’t worry everything is going to be so much better” Some tech told me. Sure, it is; everything sucked before, and there’s no reason that it would stop sucking. Hey, at least now I have a fake friend and a sister that refuses to see me. I can’t forget that I have an apple orchard? Someone really needs to tell me what’s going on.

On top of that, everyone keeps telling me  that it’s a miracle I’m not brain dead. Obviously, the higher powers that be think there is still some entertainment value left in me. Maybe this will be the single event that puts me on the path to becoming the person that ends world hunger. More likely, I’m going to just spend the rest of my life drawing pictures that no one appreciates, struggling to make ends meet. Oh, what a life to live; and it’s going to be mine, unless I get into a BFA program with connections to Disney or something, then it might actually be a life worth living.

Look at me: I can walk, I can talk, and I still remember everything that happened leading up to going to the park. It’s a miracle I remember what a fuck-up I am.

There’s a knock on the door, I look up expecting another person wanting to draw my blood, but it’s just Cynthia. She holds up a fast food bag, “I bet you’re hungry.” She unpacks the bag on the tray table, burgers and fries. We never get to eat crap like this. I think since the time I was 5 years old she was always doing some weird gluten free, keto diet. I must have really scared her to get a treat like this. I wasn’t hungry, but I didn’t want to hurt Mom’s feelings, nor did I want to pass up on this rare opportunity to eat junk food, so I picked at it.

She watches me eat, “I really love you Connor, you’re my baby boy.” She’s crying again. I’ve never seen her so upset before. My whole life, she was always nagging me about something: smoking weed, growing out my hair, missing school. In fact, the last time I was in the hospital, for hurting myself, she told me that she was disappointed in me. “I expect better from you Connor,” she had said. That really stung. I was hurting, I still am hurting, and even my own mom wasn’t there to support me. What’s different about this time? I got too close to actually dying? Did they finally realized that I wasn’t faking my struggles, and now they feel guilty for not helping me?

My whole life they have pushed me too be something that I’m not, which actually caused them to push me away. They keep pushing me and pushing me, but still expect me to be able to stand. They load they weight of their expectations and disappointments on me, but I can only hold so much weight on my shoulders before it starts to crush me. I’m trying the best I can here, but I’m buried under the rubble that is the mess that I am. I tried so hard, I tried faking it so everyone could accept me, but its so exhausting. I just want people to love me for who I am, the mess and all, and not want to change me. I’m sending out a S.O.S. and its too bright outside to see my flare.

“Mom,” I say, “how long was I in a coma?”

“A long-time” she says.

“Can you please catch me up? I jus-” Mom waves her arm signaling me to stop. I really want to know what happened while I was asleep. No one seems to want to talk about it. I’m left to wonder what happened to the world while I was in this bed. Oh, I hope aliens invaded.

Mom sighs like she’s tired of being here, “The doctors said to wait to reintroduce media to you, but you must be so bored, so I brought you this.” She reaches into her pocket and pulls out my phone. Oh, thank God. I basically rip it out of her hands and push the home button. The screen lights up to reveal hundreds of notifications. What the hell, I don’t have friends, literally. I don’t have a single person in my life I could even call a friend. People must really pity me. You disappear from the world, and suddenly everyone realizes how special you are. Everyone wants to be friends with the kid that almost died, their conscience won’t let them sleep at night otherwise.

I look at the date, October 15th. You mean to tell me I’ve been asleep for almost two months? It’s been two months since the first day of school. I missed two months of my life? Two months of school. Two months of gossip. Two months in this hospital bed. No wonders why everyone is freaked out, someone in a coma for that long, there has to be something wrong with them. “I’ve got to get going,” Mom says standing up. She kisses my forehead before she leaves.

I scroll through the notifications, they’re all texts from unknown numbers saying shit like “We miss you Connor, get well soon” Okay, talk about some bullshit. No one cared about me before, so why do I have to almost die for people to notice me. I mean no one deserves to be forgotten, or to disappear, but it would’ve been nice if they all noticed me before. I log on to Facebook. I hate that website, but I have a feeling it would be the most reliable place to find out what happened. Surly, Cynthia posted some Please keep my family in your prayers, our son is a freak bullshit. Sure enough, my feed is filled with pictures of me, people sharing stories about me, Connor was my best friend in the fourth grade, and he used to ride my bus. Everyone talking about how they know me, how much I mean to them. Its funny how death can bring out the shallowness in everyone. Also, why is everyone making my almost death so personal? My life had no bearing on yours before, and it doesn’t now. You don’t care about me. If I really meant anything to you, I would’ve known, I would’ve been an actual part of your life.

I click on my profile, and I’m tagged in something called The Connor Project. I click it, a video of Evan Hansen and Alana Beck plays, “The Connor Project is student group dedicated to keeping Connor’s memory alive, to show that everyone matters, everyone is important.” Okay, but, I don’t know why I need a whole group to keep my memory alive, I’m still alive. The site is filled with videos of Evan talking about how important I am to him. There’s a video of him telling the story about how he broke his arm , but it’s completely false. Maybe he fell out of a tree, but I wasn’t there. We never went to a yellow field or climbed any tall trees. I definitely didn’t drive him to the hospital either.

There’s old pictures of me everywhere on the page.  You can tell they’re old because my hair is so short in them, my ears sticking out. I wonder where they got them from. I’ve never been a big poster, I think there’s maybe two posts on my Instagram. Maybe Zoe or Mom gave them the pictures. I’m not mad, they’re all really good pictures of me. I look happy in most of them, like genuinely happy.

I don’t even remember ever being that happy.

There’s so many copies of emails me and Evan sent each other. Oh, that’s funny, because I’ve literally never talked to this kid, let alone sent him an email. And people are eating it up, thank you for sharing such an intimate conversation. Hey, I hate to break it to you: this isn’t real. This doesn’t sound like the Connor I knew. Guess what! The emails don’t sound like me because I didn’t write them. None of these emails I supposedly sent could vaguely belong to me. It’s like writing an essay about a book you never read. Also, who even emails anymore? Did we hit a time warp back to the 1990’s? It’s like I was asleep for so long that time actually started moving backwards. Why are they all about trees? You can tell by how pale I am that I don’t go outside. I keep scrolling. It’s just endless content of bullshit. Evan did say he wrote fake emails, and Jared was in on it, but how many other people were in on it? This is really elaborate. The page has 16,239 followers. Evan Hansen is being crowned as an amazing kid who shared a great tribute for his best friend.

This is a really cruel. It has to be an elaborate joke, right? But, what did I ever do to Evan that he would do something like this? First he writes a creepy letter about my sister, and now he’s infiltrated himself into my life as my best friend, as my hero. What is his obsession with me?

I’ve always been a loser just waiting to be seen, and finally everyone sees me. But they don’t see me.

They see the me Evan created.