#guess who's in the end game stretch lmao

[lea-andres]

Merlin... :(

(Also hiiiiii look who was right to 100% trust Ursula this entire time, Gothel and Scar were the lil shits making it all worse, not my bestie Ursula. 💕)

[guiltycorp]

Okay finished the Haruspex route of Pathologic Classic! I need to play Clara's route to see the whole picture but I'm already fascinated by the differences between P1 and P2 in terms of characterization. I think I like Pathologic 2 even more now considering how they improved on Artemy's route, I am sorry to say I didn't like it at all in classic... This is all just my personal impression after first playthrough ofc. Ramblings about both Artemy and Daniil ↓ I think what bothered me about Haruspex was mostly just his attitude and his messiah plot. Once the first day is out of the way it's all smooth sailing for him, a bit too much so?? The only personal conflict he has is figuring out his father's exact wishes for him and choosing a sacrifice. Killing anyone is treated as fair or something that needed to happen and the Haruspex is always shrugging it off... And either option, Aglaya & the Town or Polyhedron... It just doesn't seem like he is that attached to either? So it doesn't feel like he is sacrificing much personally? Like sure he wants to save the Town because of his messianic qualities, but that's again more about fulfilling his 'role' rather than genuinely wanting to save lives, or at least it read that way to me. I'm sure it's meant to be both and P2 makes this far more apparent, but in P1 it elicited a rather squinty reaction from me. Plus well yeah, getting rid of Polyhedron is pretty much just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, like yep he sure didn't care about that thing lmao so getting rid of it isn't such a difficult choice at all. The suggestion that the Polyhedron could be his Udurgh is kind of useless because the Town and Earth are far better candidates and fit with Kin beliefs better, which in this game Artemy pretty much doesn't doubt at all.  Maybe this is why the Bachelor is so present in his route? Daniil did say he'd commit suicide if he lost, maybe we'd want to think twice about pushing him towards it... But again! Does it seem like this guy cares ahhh haha... The dialogue option that is actually engaging with what Daniil said is pretty much there to make it clear to the player what the Utopian ending is and what it would be like.

Ngl at first I thought he was meant to be the 'sacrifice' until they said it's a woman. Every time Artemy learned something about the Bachelor's motivations he'd write down in his diary like '...if it matters' since the player can always choose what ending to go with I guess. I also find it curious that he can say that they are friends but still always writing only 'the Bachelor' in his diaries while Daniil switched to 'Artemy' and 'Burakh' during the final stretch. The one-sided yaoi................ 🤔 At least Artemy doesn't get mad at him for ordering to set the mythic bull on fire, I guess their friendship did mean something to him after all at that point. Also when Capella tells him that he should ask the Bachelor for help with getting into the Polyhedron since the Bachelor 'fawns upon you a lot anyway' the Haruspex just goes 'oh yeah! ok' fjdghdjg... Now that I think about it I DID like the Haruspex route for what it did with the Bachelor hahah, his dialogues and letters are just so good sometimes. Like wow, I felt this.

Very cool, if i was Artemy I'd totally abandon my weird murderous calling for this. Tangentially related... P2 had one moment that I remember from my last replay when Rubin, if kept alive, falls into a deep deserved sleep in his home, and Artemy just starts emotionally monologuing at him.

Like, P1 Artemy would never, but also it goes to show that he's still very much a repressed man here too, buying into toxic masculinity ideals who can't just talk to his friends about his feelings directly... The same character, but more complex. I want to make it clear that I DO like him and his motivations in P2 actually, and his personal conflict being more about the future of the Kin makes that game much more powerful to me than what his classic route was. I heard that initially he was planned to be far more violent and dark, so maybe he could have been sort of a villain protagonist and this was changed later and this is why it feels a bit bland? Hmm... Idk this is fun to me because meanwhile the Bachelor didn't feel that different to me in both games lmao. A highly stressed educated guy who is just trying to prevent the spread of epidemic the 'right' way and then clinging to the only chance he has left to preserve both his ideals and his life. He is a bit less polite in P2 at first (while still very much helping by warding off Rubin) but then rather quickly becomes more cordial to Artemy and vice versa (and wow it sure is nice when Artemy can actually be polite and friendly..). And the moment when he explains some of his personal deal to Artemy feels rather similar in both iterations mood-wise.

I liked his route in P1 a lot, surprisingly so, and I now understand why so many people liked him before P2 came out and afterwards too... There's just something very real about how he is the intelligent Capital doctor but with an extraordinary dream to combat death itself, possibly given to him by the Powers That Be due to these children trying to cope with people dying around them. And instead of favoring him for it they hate him! They leave him with nothing but this final chance to fix things, even if that means destroying everything and rebuilding anew. Daniil's desperation feels very real and thus more compelling, plus like... I mean it's pretty much confirmed that it's not just the Polyhedron and that the soil itself is 'rotten' (literally in the meta real world and through blood beneath the earth in the Town itself) and the decease could return again, sooo his ending doesn't look that bad comparatively. I also appreciated how Maria (or uhh was it Nina talking through her here as well?) explained how their Utopia doesn't actually mean a 'perfect' place, more so just an impossible dream.

The Bachelor doesn't mind this at all, a detail I loved.

...Hmm that said maybe P1 makes it a little too easy for him to kinda ignore the Kin issue, he is only mad about their circumstances when it comes to Vlad choosing to doom thousands of the Kin workers inside the Termitary (which is just his doctor ethics). I mean it is realistic for him to ignore the implications of representing the imperialist side, he does mention his father was a military man too at some point I think... Still, he is very quick to accept the Kin's unique beliefs as something that has obvious merit, trusting the Haruspex with that side of things in both of their routes, and he doesn't make much of a distinction between them and regular Town people when it comes to patient treatment. If anything it's probably a sign of how the writers weren't thinking that hard about this worldbuilding aspect at the time... even if I appreciated them showing the downsides of the Kin's society, I think those were done better than in P2 purely because it was a bit more realistic (I am talking about sexism mostly, such as selling their own daughters and not respecting their autonomy, plus the mention of Kin politics and different ruling clans rather than the hive mind situation implied in P2). Like, it is more obvious in P1 that wholeheartedly embracing the Kin's return to tradition isn't such a good solution for them either, but one that will likely happen anyway with Artemy and Taya as their new leaders. And it could get trickier in Pathologic 3 I think, especially since most of us really appreciated the portrayal of colonization in P2 and would expect it getting addressed again in future games of other character routes, but we'll see I guess! Either way I look forward to that game a lot now.

[danieyells]

@leowifefover

I wanna hear more of this tanuki theory

So the Tanuki-Haku theory/speculation/observation of the prevalence of tanuki with Haku in (non-story) parts of the game. And with those--and other things--in mind, the possibility that Haku is either a tanuki himself or possessed by one.

To start with, his R card's link bonus is with the Tanook card.

Next, his SSR has him holding a tanuki mask. In Japanese the title is also "Shinto Priest Who Likes To Make Jokes" or something similar--tanuki are fond of pulling pranks.

Finally, his guild cat is, in fact, him in a tanuki kigurumi, complete with leaf on his head.

More incidental things, he has a home screen dialogue saying not to come crying to him if you get possessed by a fox spirit walking around late at night. Kitsune and tanuki are sometimes depicted in competition with one another, since they both shapeshift and deceive people.

(another one of his voicelines, one from during the spring, also has him say ghosts are lucky since they don't get hangovers, and in autumn he drinks while moongazing--and Tanuki, in many stories, apparently pretend to be human to buy alcohol and get drunk lmao.)

Even more incidentally, Haku plays the flute. There's a legend in Japan called tanuki-bayashi where you hear musical instruments--including drums and flutes--at night, allegedly being played by a band of mischevous tanuki. If you follow them trying to find the source you'll never reach it, but if you keep following the music through dawn, you'll wind up somewhere you've never been before. Haku plays the flute after the player ends up in Kisaragi Station, having had been on the train at night before, and takes them back to reality and suddenly it's daytime. . .and what do you know, he takes them somewhere they've never been before. That connection's a little bit of a stretch though.

There's also Gyoubu, a tanuki who helped an insurrection--or, depending on the telling of the story, helped the lord of the castle. . .which could tie in to him being the spy and all, depending on what happens there.

Just. . .there are a lot of things about Haku that could be linked to tanuki and that's probably not a coincidence. And it's like. Okay, how far does that go? Y'know? Less theory and more observation i guess. The theory is more "Haku is a tanuki or is possessed by one."

[yuesya]

AAAAAA TWIN AU!! Geto being dragged along onto the trauma rollercoaster that is Satoru’s life as always, lmao. Since the pair can share techniques, though with difficulty, does Satoru eventually become known as even more of a terrifying prodigy for inexplicably having two cursed techniques? Or does Shiki ever manifest outside of Satoru to help out in dire times (Toji) or just to indulge some sadistic urges and everyone’s like ‘there’s two of them now?!’

"Good work, everyone!"

Satoru rolls his shoulders and stretches out his arms as they're finally, finally back on school grounds and within the protective barriers. The past few days spent protecting the Star Plasma Vessel have been long and eventful. If it weren't for the pressing need to prioritize defending Amanai from the relentless assassins and mercenaries aiming for her, he'd really like to have a nice long talk with whoever it was that decided it was a great idea to kill an innocent girl for no other fault than existing.

It's a bit of a touchy point, for Satoru. For obvious reasons.

... He still hasn't made up his mind on if he wants to hunt them down after the mission is concluded. There's no doubt that Shiki would be happily game for it, the bloodthirsty little thing, but Suguru might have a few choice words to say about it all.

Whatever, he'll decide on it later.

Satoru sighs, finally closing his eyes and letting his Limitless technique drop. His innate technique is a taxing one to use even on a good day, and keeping it running 24-7 is tiring, even with Shiki's help. Shiki tries, but unfortunately the formulas are difficult to maintain for her on her own, which means that Satoru still needs to be the one operating the technique. It's a relief that he'll finally be able to take a break now, before-

His cursed energy ripples, and Satoru startles when his Limitless barrier is suddenly yanked back up, most decidedly not of his own volition.

Shiki-?

His eyes widen. Another mercenary? When did he get behind him, and how had he never noticed?

Shiki snarls in his ears, a viciously hateful sound towards the man who'd almost ran them through with a sword, her voice unheard to everyone but Satoru. It's the work of seconds to throw their unexpected assailant away from them with Limitless; Suguru provides assistance by summoning one of his cursed spirits to attack the man the moment they are a good distance away. The worm-spirit swallows the man in a single gulp, but Satoru doubts that will trap him for long.

"Satoru! Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." That was a close one. Thanks, lil' sis. "Don't worry about it, Suguru. He didn't even scratch me."

The man -a Zenin sorcerer? No, not a sorcerer, he had no cursed energy- emerges from the belly of Suguru's cursed spirit in a spectacular spray of off-color gore and viscera, holding a cursed tool that he most certainly hadn't held in his hands just a moment ago.

"Hmm," the man says. "I was sure that you'd disengaged your cursed technique... guess I've gotten rusty."

Disengaged-? So he'd been waiting to ambush them?

Satoru bares his teeth sharply, "Amanai's bounty was lifted already, idiot."

The man smirks, "Yeah, because I was the one who took it down, hotshot."

He was the one who'd put up that timed bounty in the first place? The one that had ensured they were attacked nonstop by opportunistic curse users the past few days?

What an asshole.

"When fighting people like you without any weak spots, you need to have ups and downs and give them the illusion of achievable goals," the man hefts his heavy cursed blade against his shoulder as if it's no lighter than a feather. "If I hadn't set that timed limit on the bounty, you wouldn't have deactivated your technique until the very end... well, not that that worked out, in the end. But you're slipping, aren't you? You didn't even notice me until right before I was about to gut you."

It hadn't been Satoru who'd noticed the man, but Shiki. Even now, standing right in front of him, he was invisible to Satoru's Six Eyes -there was only the cursed energy from his cursed tool and that strange cursed spirit coiled about his body, but apart from that... this man had zero cursed energy. Some strange form of Heavenly Restriction?

Well, that didn't matter.

Satoru closes his eyes.

When he opens them again, everything in the world is covered in cracked red lines -including the would-be murderer who'd nearly gotten the drop on him.

"Me, slipping?" Satoru grins provocatively. "In your dreams."

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s5 episode 4 thoughts

i’m so excited for scully and mulder time!!! and today they’re going to florida!! last time they went to florida, i really liked the episode. and i thought it was funny that mulder was jogging in a sweatshirt lmao but hey!! i am so excited!!!

let's see what we're getting into today... ah, mysterious disappearances!! ohohoho, that is just the kind of thing i would call these two about!!

(author's note: and guess what!! all of that excitement was WORTH IT!! because this episode was AMAZING!! i am so happy!!! i know joy and love!!! everything is good!!! when i am down in life, i shall remember these times and how good they were)

let us begin. these guys are in the woods… oh no! this guy sloan says “the sooner they pave over this swamp, the better” <- he is NOT an ally of the environment, and when it eats him whole and spits him back out, he will have had it coming.

(author's note: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

the other guy who is rightfully giving him hell is named marty. shoutout to marty for advocating for the indigenous species that cherish this forest. what exactly they are doing in the woods is unclear to me, but sloan has this pole thing stuck in the mud. and he can’t move it because it’s in something filled with BLOOOOOD! AHHHH SPOOOOOOKY OOOOOO

WAUGH! i was just saying it was spooky due to the BLOOD, but then the ground had EYEBALLS??? 

did they IMPALE this forest dude with their pole???

this is the end of sloan. well. i said i wouldn’t be sad. but now marty is running too!!! nooo, woodland creature, marty has your back!!!

oh my god, whatever this human or creature is, it looks like when peeta camouflaged himself in the hunger games with his cake decorating skills. which is now the second time i’ve referenced that on this account. but it was incredibly formative to me growing up 

RIP marty :( he was a real one

this is exactly what i want when i sit down to watch an episode. i want to see a forest beast swallowing people and these two hot agents getting deployed to figure out wtf went down. and usually they don’t even get answers. but they look at each other with barely suppressed love. and that is it. the platonic ideal of an x files episode.

now we see a little boy with a dog!!! and his dad. listen to me when i say that this dog better come out of this alive.

woah woah woah ANTHONY RAPP IS IN THIS EPISODE????

honestly glad the guest star credits came first to give me that heads up, because if i had not seen that beforehand, i would have just been pointing at my screen when he first appeared the whole time like YO :0 IT'S ANTHONY RAPP :0 IN *MY* X FILES :0

truly, what a time the 90's were. anyway, he's not even here yet so don't worry about it.

the little boy and the dad are in the woods we saw before, and find some surveyor’s equipment (ohhh, so that must have been what those guys were doing) and the dog finds one of the dead bodies!!! dad tells the kid to run straight home, which is not what i would do if i found a dead body around my son (because i would be keeping the kid in SIGHT)

the boy and dog are running away as dad is firing shots (into what? who knows)

run boy, run with your dog, and do not let his leash go!!

another cut, this time to two people (mike and stonecypher, but as they appear they are just random guys) chattering about team building activities… the miracle of building a big tower together. and neither of them are anthony rapp

BUT LMAO MULDER IN THE BACKSEAT LEANING OVER TO SCULLY “kill me now” <- BAHAHA her faceeee

they have to do TEAM BUILDING SEMINARS??!?!?!? FOR THE FBI??!?!? LMAOOOO and scully has done one in the past, but mulder always calls in sick BAHAHAA!!! she didn’t let him escape this year!!!! 

they are stopped by a bunch of policemen in the road and mulder gets out, thanking jesus for this divine providence, for that man shall not be kept caged. he must stretch his long legs. 

a frantic woman on the side of the road asks him if he’s with search and rescue!! he says no- its the boy’s mom, later revealed to be named mrs. asekoff, and they can’t find the dad! mulder says he is going to figure it out. and so he walks right into the woods. that's a man who is on the case.

LMAO the blonde lady is exasperatedly asking scully where he’s going and she just wordlessly sets off after him. blonde lady is named stonecypher. that is a sick name.

the guy she’s with (named mike) is counting a tree trunk’s rings, and announces that this tree was here 20 years before ponce de leon landed. that’s a nerd alright! but stonecypher and mike announce that they are going to be late for the wine and cheese reception if the agents get them sidetracked >:(

mulder goes to meet with the officer, later revealed to be named michele. and she’s all, we didn’t call you guys. he says yeah, but you did stop us, sooo!!! all she admits to knowing is that they heard shots, but found nothing else. 

oooo, they found tracks that couldn’t be identified as man nor beast. in this context, i know it will be some kind of monster, but you can't help but root for a new kind of animal to be discovered by our fearless agents, even if it is just for a brief moment you imagine the possibility.

scully wants to tell him something while he is talking to michele!!! but he says to wait!!! he wants to save the day!!! she is gonna tell him their ride left, i just know it. and this is why you have to LISTEN TO HER!

the officer is very pretty, but she is offended that mulder wants to come and help out lmao

uh oh, scully's going in:

“how do i say this without using any negative words, scully?” 

“you want me to tell them that you’re not going to make it to this year’s teamwork seminar?”

“yeah” (grabbing her shoulders) “you see that? we don’t need that conference. we have communication like that, unspoken. you know what i’m thinking” <- LMAOOO

it is not lost on me how he has to bend over a lil to get to her eye level. and yeah i’m smiling about it. so what!!

(she watches him, shaking her head with a smile as he treks off) AWWWWW STOP 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

(and her billowing coat moment……. <3) (she had to be hot as hell in that florida weather!!)

((there's a scene later where one of them breaths and you can see the condensed air signature to cold weather, and it spoiled the tropical illusion, in addition to their constant coat wearing, but still. i recognize i ought to suspend some disbelief))

back at the askeoff house, the boy (louis) is sleeping while a scary movie plays, but wakes to ask his mom “he’s not coming back, is he?” <- NOOO buddy :(

she tells louis he needs to be brave :( then mrs. asekoff sadly washes the dishes while the dog whines at the door, begging to be let outside :(

someone is on the computer looking at different animal attacks… IT’S MULDER LMAOOO!!!!!!

(i know he’s doing research on tracks and attack patterns for serious work reasons, but this killed me. where is that post that’s like “i miss using the internet for its intended purpose: looking up animal facts”)

((also getting flashbacks to him watching a hyena documentary in home... he loves his creatures. too bad their last experience at a zoo was awful. because i still want him to go to one. take him to the very nice smithsonian zoo))

there’s a knock at the door and he yells that it is open... he better hope it's scully… he makes a stupid joke but OHHH SHE BROUGHT HIM CHEESE AND WINE AWWW :,)

“however, i must remind you, this goes against the bureau’s policy of male and female agents consorting in the same motel room while on assignment” <- LMAOOO THEY’RE A LITTLE LATE TO MAKE THIS DISCLAIMER

awww but she’s so sweet (and she said it entirely deadpan) (scully you are the most special of all)

“you try any of that tailhook crap on me, scully, and i’ll kick your ass” hold on i gotta look something up <- HOLY FUCK????? um. do not look that up unless you can tolerate reading about women being mass abused. i had to stop here and process for a second the information i just learned.

but let us set that aside to continue wine and cheese time

she just wants to pour some nice wine and he wants to talk about animal facts LMAO “and what does that have to do with anything?” <- lol

OH!! she looks a little shocked to hear that he actually is invested in this case and not just trying to get out of the conference. AWW she wanted to chill :( let her chill!!! let them just hang for a bit!!! mulder, this beautiful woman wants to give you wine and cheese!! how could you think about work at such a time???

NOOO HE LEAVES??!! “you know mulder, sometimes i think some work on your communication skills wouldn’t be such a bad idea” <- GET HIM AGAIN FOR ME 

she looks so SAD... but he smiles his big goofy smile and says he will be right back, and they can build a tower of furniture (scully sips the wine)

i am sad :(

back at the asekoff's house, the dog is barking… but it doesn’t look like anything is in the yard for him to be barking at!!! NOOO, DON’T LET THE DOG OUT INTO THE DARKNESS WHILE THE OMINOUS MUSIC PICKS UP IN SPEED, MRS ASEKOFF!!

look, after what happened in s3, i can’t watch another dog get hurt. 

okay, so the dog snarls at mrs. asekoff, but he seems alive, which is better than what i was expecting. she leaves him outside!!!!!!! rude!! never leave your puppy outside!! but the door back into the house is locked???? she definitely did NOT lock herself out

she’s beating on the door and crying for her son, but no!!!! the woods beast is in the home!!!!

and now mulder is here!!!! girl... how did he know where they live. lmao.

anyway, louis crashes into mulder and says “it’s in the house”. and something tells me wine and cheese night is going to be postponed 

now scully is here, looking around the boy's room…. she finds his scary movie! he was watching the invisible man. she proposes that perhaps this influenced his fear, but mulder points out that the invisible man was INVISIBLE, and this creature he spotted had red eyes. checkmate, scully.

he’s showing scully some tracks in the house, and analyzing the weight distribution. he says his dad and him were indian guides?? that seems inappropriate. is that a joke, or did mr. mulder really take him around the woods to look at stuff?

(later i googled what this meant and learned. but for the sake of preserving my thoughts as i experienced them, you will learn what it means with me later) 

and these tracks are: not human!! not animal!! a secret third thing!!

OMG THERE’S ANTHONY RAPP YESSSS (start the rent monologue internally)

anthony rapp is showing mulder a fancy machine that detects body heat!! in all universes he must have a piece of technology to look at stuff through

the officer michele is explaining that there is no cell service deep in these here woods (cut to scully on the phone attempting to get a signal in the back lol) and there is only CLOSE RANGE RADIO, so PLEASE DO NOT LOSE SIGHT OF ANYONE, and if you get lost SHE WILL FIND YOU, just SIT TIGHT, THANK YOU!!!!

this seems to be strong foreshadowing

scully was on the phone with the police, who thinks that perhaps the individual responsible for the missing people is a wanted drifter- but mulder says no way. he also says it seems like we have two of em, because one lured mrs. asekoff out and one went for louis! ohhh he thinks they’re trying to prevent anyone from building more houses, the survey team was working on more plots… well. you can't blame them for that, really

(they embark into the forest in their matching blue jackets, which i again ask, how are they not super hot?)

anthony rapp points out that there isn’t even any wildlife around!! mad weird… but scully thinks it’s beautiful :,)

NAURRRR A CLAW EMERGES TO GRAB THE STONE OFFICER MICHELE LEFT BEHIND TO MARK THEIR PATH…. the officer isn’t gonna make it, just mark my words

anthony rapp finds something 20 yards ahead in his fancy thermal detector, but they can’t see anything!!!! and now there’s two blobs on the thermal screen!!!! moving in opposite directions!!! nooo, don’t split up to try and catch them!!!!!

mulder is in track star mode with anthony rapp, but they can’t find the beast!! 

scully realizes the creatures are trying to separate them (very smart) and that they must go back… BLEH, they walk right by a beast blending into a tree!! with scary red eyes!!!!

NOOO!!! michele goes down!!!!! WHERE DID SHE GO!!!! scully is calling for help from mulder!!! but something is surrounding her!!!

OH! he emerges and is approaching her!!!

they realize they are being played by this beast and need to try and find michele. anthony rapp is pissed, saying we ought to escape these here woods while we can, but mulder says no, we need to try and find her. meanwhile scully’s trying to call someone which isn’t going to work but she TRIED, okay?? you never know!!

OHHHH, mulder says then YOU go back, anthony rapp. escape these woods yourself. oh yeah, you CANNOT.

and scully says look, it would be great to find her, really, but we have no food or water, so we should get out of here. mulder has some scheme in his eyes and i know damn well he is gonna stay in the forest once they leave to try and find her.

(he actually didn't, everyone cheer for mulder's impulse control working just this one time!)

why can't they see the beast on anthony rapp's special screen?

“maybe it can regulate its temperature. do you know of any animal that can?” “ticks, i’ve heard that they can halt their metabolism for up to 18 years, essentially going into suspended animation until something warm-blooded comes along” <- man they really do match each other’s freak, huh. going bar for bar. they are equally matched in the nerd-off. i love them so dearly

LMAOOO NO, HE IS GONNA TALK ABOUT MOTHMAN???? IS THIS THE FLORIDA MOTHMAN?????

nah, i REFUSE to believe that mothman would migrate. he needs to keep that west virginia economy running. also, i thought there was only one of him, but they’re both saying “moth MEN”, which seems wrong. mothman is singular and irreplaceable.

anthony rapp realizes they’re going the wrong way because he can’t see any of michele’s white stones. mulder is saying no no, it’s the right path, and we all know you should NEVER listen to directions from him!!!!!

OHHHH scully spots something in the distance… the others don't see anything on the special thermal scanner but she KNOWS WHAT SHE SAW!! and she points out everything is quiet again!!! YEAHHH SHE IS GOOD AT SPOTTING STUFF

NOOO, ANTHONY RAPP LOCATES IT BUT MULDER RUNS AFTER!! “talk to him”, she says, telling anthony to guide him where to go; “this is NOT a good idea” “TALK to him, jeff!” <- OHHH YEAH UNSPOKEN COMMUNICATION AND TRUST BETWEEN EACH OTHER🔥

and yes, anthony rapp's character is named jeff, but guess what? it's my writeup and i make the rules.

but then the beast disappears!! mulder sees it, though…. and starts to run after it!! and he fires, but he misses!!!

then scully finds it and she fires a bunch of shots, and holy hell she looks good btw, but that’s neither here nor there. i bet she hit it though. she has good aim.

BUT NOOO, WHERE DID ANTHONY RAPP GO??? he’s running away!!! NOOOOO HE FALLS!!!! and scully only has a few rounds left!!!!

AND NOOO, MULDER FALLS TOO!!! 

he’s being grabbed by the thing and she shoots it!!! whew, she had three rounds!!!!! and he is on the ground bleeding but YEAH SCULLY SAVED THE DAY 🔥🔥🔥🔥

awww now she’s trying to start a fire to keep them warm:

“you were an indian guide, help me out here” “the indian guide says maybe you should run to the store and get some matches” (he says, while leaning against a log)

OHHH MY GOD “indian guide” referred to a thingy in the YMCA, oh so he really DID have bonding time with his dad… how much does it say about his relationship with his dad that i assumed it was a fucked up joke rather than an inappropriately named father-son bonding activity???

(he’s laying back on a log, looking up at her with love in his eyes)

she’s trying to use her gunpowder to start a fire (queen behavior) when she says “mulder, you need to keep warm. your body’s still in shock” (this man LOVES to go into shock, it's one of his few hobbies)

“i was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat is to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with somebody else who’s already naked”<- hey what. any scientists wanna confirm or deny.

“maybe if it rains sleeping bags, you’ll get lucky” <- average scully moment in handling his unhinged statements with ease

(he crawls closer to her, shivering)

woah, major tone shift on behalf of scully: “you ever thought seriously about dying?”

“yeah once, when i was at the ice capades” (yeah idk what that is either but i need to stop googling stuff and get on with the plot, so i assume it's an amusement park?)

“when i was fighting my cancer, i was angry at the injustice of it. and it’s meaninglessness. and then i realized that that was the struggle. to give it meaning” OHHHH MY GOD. he’s looking up at her and oh my god. 

"fighting" was past tense... is she in the clear now?!?!?

“to make sense of it. it’s like life” oh scully... life is what you make of it, huh?

“i think nature is supremely indifferent to whether we live or die. i mean, if you’re lucky, you get 75 years, if you’re really lucky you get 80 years, and if you’re extraordinarily lucky, you get to have 50 of those years with a decent head of hair” <- LMAO BE SERIOUS FOR ONCE!!!!

but it makes her laugh <3

and she is SUCH a nerd as she sings ✨ta-da✨while she cracks open that last bullet to get the powder in the middle 

“hey, who did you identify with as a kid: wilma or betty?”, asks mulder; “i identified with betty’s bust line”, she says, and he responds with “yes, i did too” <- if that’s supposed to be a self-own it doesn’t work because i think betty served

WHY CAN NEITHER OF THEM BE SERIOUS!!

(but she said the kids from the cartoon were cute <3)

((was this exchange a joke about them making fires or just a mean line the writers gave to make scully say something self-depreciating... took me out of the vibe for a second!!!!)

the fire does not work out :(

OH MY GOD, THEY’RE CUDDLING????? (she tries to pick him up and set his head in her lap) “i don’t wanna wrestle” “get over here. i’m going to try and keep you warm”

AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH hang on i need a moment. hang on. hang on. okay hold on just give me a moment. okay. WAIT another moment. oh my god. okay. 

HE’S ASKING HER TO SING??????????? AND SHE SAYS NO LMAOOOOOOOO what is going on. what am i watching.

despite her saying she cannot sing, he insists, so that he will know she is awake to watch over him

SHE STARTS SINGING TO SHUT HIM UP AND HE REQUEST THE CHORUS AFTER SHE GETS THROUGH THE FIRST VERSE?????? OH MY GOD???? 

i feel like i’m reading an incredibly self-indulgent fanfiction, what the hell. i am NOT complaining though. please make note of that. like, underline that: i am not complaining.

BUT THE TREE BEAST IS NEARBY!!!!!!

mulder wakes up on the ground in the morning, no scully in sight!!! she was getting some berries LMAOOOO that hunter gatherer instinct kicking in

(i was about to say "please do not eat the wild berries", but then i remembered with her doctor training she can probably tell which ones will kill you and which ones are tasty. there are many perks to obtaining a medical degree) 

BUT NOOOO, SHE’S GONE NOW!!!

he’s freaking tf out!!! but she just fell down a hole!!!! okay that was the best possible scenario, i guess??? unless it’s the beasts' lair.

OH FUCK, SHE FOUND THE BODIES???? NO, THE RED EYED BEAST IS DOWN THERE!!! AND SHE DOESN’T HAVE HER GUN??

THEY ARE SPLIT UP, SO THE OTHER ONE RUNS TO HIM BACK ON LAND!!! so he throws himself down the hole!!!

OHHH, SHE SHOOTS THE BEAST!!!! 

they stare at his body for a bit… “there has to be a scientific explanation for this”, she mumbles. yeah. there probably is, somehow.

LMAOOO they’re stacking up the bodies and talking about how it’s a teamwork exercise 

the guy from before, mike, comes to find them - but he’s super obviously greenscreened in?? LMAOOO WHAT??? could they not afford to get him into the forest i’m HOWLINGGGG

BUT THEN IN THE NEXT SHOT HE IS REALLY THERE LMAOOOOO WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHOW MAN

(laughed so hard at the dichotomy it hurt a little, but then we moved on)

they ask for a ladder 🪜 to get out of the hole, which is probably the first time i have ever used the ladder emoji

omg michele is still alive for now!!! and it seems that the kid’s dad is too!!!

mulder has a giant bloody gash in his turtleneck… yeah it’s a good look. one of his best, in fact

ohhh he says that what they saw carved into the post down in the cave was the inscription the spanish would carve into a post before they lashed the natives??

he thinks that perhaps the beasts were 400 years old and had adapted to the woods. maybe! idk! maybe he just wants the motel write off, as mike proposes <- LMAO

he sits and chats with mike and stonecypher for a bit, but suddenly wants to go find scully now… HE THINKS THE BEASTS ARE AFTER HER!!!

he is speeeeeding to get her as she packs their stuff up in the motel room…. he’s banging and yelling on the wrong dooooor!!!

luckily she hurries her out just as she finishes packing, and they are on their way

AUGH, THE BEAST HAS BEEN TRAPPED IN THE MOTEL ROOM!!!

oh my god. that was SO good. i cannot believe it. 

so that is definitely making my list of the top episodes, which i might have to expand to a top 18 because there are so many good ones that need to be fit and i just loved it loved it loved it.

mutual saving of the day! cuddling! banter! needy whumped out mulder! scully just wanting to hang out and chill! i’m going to giggle into my hands as i fall asleep!!!!

this was it!! i was right!! this IS the platonic ideal of an x files episode!!! i’m smiling so hard right now!!!

the beasts!! the mystery!!! the CGI!!! the fact it took me a solid 2 hours to write up this post because there were so many things to make note of!!

jhdjsbdjsndkwnhxkefkejfjksfjsndjsnwjmdbwkchemns………………………………

a full day later i am editing my notes and still in disbelief (positive). someone told me once that different episode writers have different takes on the central dynamic, and that a certain writer is known for more shippy episodes, and i would venture to guess this is by that writer/team of writers. while i wish there was more overall tonal consistency, this is the tone that i wish was consistent. but i guess that having it only once in a while makes it all the more poignant!!!

i am very pleased. in fact, i was so pleased while watching this episode, that i began to think about that fic i'd like to write someday where they are tasked with solving some art thefts. and do i have any logistics or plans to ever actually write that? no. but when you see a one-off episode so concisely bring you through a case exactly as a standalone episode should, you cannot help but feel inspired to think of a case fic of your own to set them upon.

i shall enjoy these thoughts, wandering about my head as i contemplate the implications of cuddle time.

[ragecndybars]

AO3 tag game :3

thanks so much for the tag @mvshortcut !!!!! much appreciated, this was a blast to fill out :D

How many works do you have on AO3?

86! Damn, that's more than I remember 🙀 I have been writing pretty fervently since I was pretty young, though, and I transferred all my old fics from fanfiction dot net to AO3, so it's a long stretch of time. All my old wattpad fics are still rotting somewhere though lmaooo I can't even access them anymore bc I forgot my password and I can't reset it bc I used a school email 😔

What's your total AO3 word count?

443,734! When I get to half a million I'm gonna have to throw myself a party. With boba and everything

How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

Oof, okay, here we go. A lot of the fandoms I have tagged on AO3 don't really "count" because they're just aggregate tags for the same fandom, so even though AO3 says the number is 48, I'm gonna count the TRUE number as 17. (It got cut down so much because of how many video game series have different games with different fandom tags on AO3, lmao)

Here's the breakdown of the list:

Persona (Mostly Persona 3)

Fire Emblem (Mostly Shadow Dragon and Blazing Sword)

Legend of Zelda

Pokemon

Professor Layton

RWBY

Kid Icarus: Uprising

Earthbound/MOTHER

Red vs. Blue

Voltron Legendary Defender

Naruto

Final Fantasy XV

Harvest Moon

The Mysterious Benedict Society

The Avengers

Animal Crossing

Care Bears (despite having never actually consumed any Care Bears media to my knowledge)

The worst part is that this stupid list would be much, much, MUCH longer if I finished even a quarter of my WIPs 😭 Hell, even just my "Video Games" subfolder in my "Fanfiction" subfolder has more than 17 subfolders in it...

Y'all don't understand how many random fics my ADHD spares you from ever seeing I have no focus

Top five fics by kudos:

Ash and Emotion (Zelda) - Not surprising, I knew this was my most popular fic. It was for a ZeLink zine full of beautiful work :)

Resemblance (Naruto) - bro I always forget people really liked this one. Literally an unedited drabble I did in an hour for a "pride month drabble challenge" which I immediately abandoned. Trans rights I guess

Always Wanna Play (But You Never Wanna Lose) (Persona 3) - This one isn't surprising either, and I'm very proud of this fic so I'm quite chuffed to see it get so much attention... thanks everyone :')

The Beat of Your Heart (Zelda) - Now this one surprised me a lot. This was just a little piece for ZeLink week... Another unedited one, I literally was writing it on the toilet in church so I could get it out in time 😭

Comfort (Zelda) - Another ZeLink week piece, but I knew this one was popular. Also unedited, lmao. I was writing it on the day of my AP Calc finals and I rushed through the exam so I could have more time to work on the fic 😭 I made some Choices that year

Do you respond to comments?

I try to! But I get very anxious about it and tend to work myself into a tizzy, so I often put it off for later and then forget, haha. Then I'll go and respond to all my comments from the last few months and feel even weirder about it... T_T

What's the fic with the angstiest ending you've ever written?

Oof. That's... a hard one, haha. I've written a couple of fics without happy endings, though I typically don't. At least three fics which end on a canonical character death, for instance. But I'd say the ending which made me the most emo writing was Butter, a Mother 3 fic. It ends with Lucas, who's like 9, recently lost his mother, then lost his twin brother (and thinks it's his fault), and is now being neglected by his father, crawling into bed and crying. So yeah, pretty bleak, lmao... but at least he doesn't die I guess?

Do you write crossovers?

I do, but I haven't posted many yet. I'm not always huge on writing them, but I do think about them a lot. I was working on this one Persona 3 x Fire Emblem Awakening crossover but I lost steam on it, and now there's a really lovely crossover on AO3 with a similar premise that I was SO delighted to come across!!! Hope y'all don't mind me taking a break from linking my own work to shill for this one, hehe

Have you ever gotten hate on a fic?

Unfortunately, yes, about six times, I'd say. Even more unfortunately, most of those times happened earlier on in my fanfic writing career, and I was pretty sensitive to hate back then, so I deleted many of the relevant fics, and some of them I don't even have access to myself anymore.

Not gonna talk about the ones that are still upsetting, but I will talk about the funny examples: on a (since deleted) RWBY fic, I said in the author's note that I "wrote them as platonic, but the fic can be read as WhiteRose", and then I got a glowing comment gushing about how good the story was which ended with "but then you had to ruin it by shitting all over WhiteRose, how about you [long suicide bait]". Third most baffling comment I've ever received.

The two most baffling were on different fics, but both were making the same weird accusation??? One was on a ZeLink fic (actually, on Comfort, my fifth most kudos'ed fic of all time now), and y'know I think I'm just gonna show you the comment in question:

The other one was on a long-since deleted fic which focused on both a romantic ship, as well as a fatherly relationship between one member of the ship and the other member's father. I guess having a fatherly relationship with your father-in-law makes your boyfriend actually your brother (and therefore you can't date him anymore). IDK man people are crazy. (tbf the commenter in question thought I was setting it up so that he'd get adopted by his boyfriend's parents, which would give them more of a case, but like... that didn't happen in the fic and wasn't going to. they just guessed at a future plot development and got angry about their guess)

Do you write smut?

I do, but I've never posted any. I've posted one fic that was very suggestive, I'd even call it "NSFW" in a sense, but never anything explicit. Maybe I will in the future? We'll see if I can ever finish anything smutty, lmao.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yep, I had Ultimatum, my longest chapter-fic (and by far my most popular fic in the ff.n days) stolen and posted on another site by somebody. I reported it but never checked back up to see if it got taken down.

I also feel that I've had my work plagiarized pretty damn blatantly in another fandom (I was browsing a certain AU tag and read one which contained all the exact events and sometimes word-for-word dialogue from a fic of mine, just very very slightly rewritten) but the poster had no other works and their writing was definitely extremely juvenile, so... I figured they were a dumb kid and just decided not to raise a fuss. Checked back later and they deleted it, hopefully because they realized they shouldn't do that, so I figure there's no need to start shit over it. Honestly, if that person used that experience as a jumping-off point to write their own fics, then I'm glad it happened, imitation being the highest form of flattery and all.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, though I had someone reach out to me on fanfiction dot net a long time ago and ask permission to translate An Unheard Goodbye, which was super exciting! I agreed, but I don't believe they ever got around to it, or if they did, they never posted it. Still very flattering, and I think about that a lot, hehe.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

HOW COULD I POSSIBLY ANSWER THIS. UM. UM UH. UHHH UM UH I. UM.

I'm.... gonna say Zelda/Link? I haven't written it in FOREVER but it was such a huge part of me coming into my own as a fanfic author, so I have to give it credit for that.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

.......all of them 😭 god I have so many of these damn things. But for the prime example, I'd point to Ultimatum, an old Pokemon fic that I started in middle school. I got all the way to the climax and I feel bad leaving my readers hanging, but... at this point, if I did continue it, I would honestly have to rewrite the whole fic first just to be in line with my current understanding of the characters.

What are your writing strengths?

Y'know, I think I get character voices down extremely well in a way which elevates my dialogue and narration. That's probably the thing I'm most proud of in my own writing, at least.

What are your writing weaknesses?

BREVITY. Or the utter, glaring lack of it. I have also been known to muddy up my writing with an overabundance of A) adverbs, B) unneeded clauses tacked onto perfectly good sentences, and C) em-dashes 😭

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?

I think it's dope as fuck, but I currently can't really accomplish it because I'm monolingual (NOT FOR LONG IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT, I'M COMING FOR YOU, JAPANESE FLUENCY!!!!). I will also say that I don't like when authors will write characters having a story-important conversation in another language, then put the translations in the end notes or something, requiring you to either read the chapter confused or else keep scrolling back down and back up.... I think even that's totally fine to do if what's being said isn't plot-relevant, though.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Naruto. I hadn't read or watched Naruto btw, I had only read other Naruto fanfics. I have spoken on this topic many times, but it remains hilarious to me. Also, so many of my old Naruto fics are lost to the Wattpad times, but I will take this opportunity to once again share a quote which I recently managed to unearth from my long-lost unsung magnum opus:

Never ever will I intentionally attain the level of comedy gold that I managed while writing completely dead serious Naruto fanfiction on Wattpad in 2012.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written so far?

See above. How could I ever top that fic.

In all seriousness, this question always makes me sweat, but I think I'm gonna say Oil, a slightly older fic from my EliHec days which I absolutely obsessed over for months before finally managing to finish. And, unlike most of the fics that I obsess over, I think the obsession actually made it come out better rather than worse, haha.

thanks again for the tag!!!! as for me, I'll tag uhh, hm, @wizard-finix @dreamedge @misty-wisp @flyfish1999 and any other AO3 writers who see this!!! (idk how many of you use AO3 and most of the MBS authors I know have probably already been tagged hehe but anybody who wants to should absolutely feel free!!!!!!!)

[wyldloganroth-blog]

Ranni: Loki or Queen Medb?

Weird question, I know, but just lemme explain myself first. Before the release of the game, both Miyazaki and George R. R. Martin stated that this game would borrow many elements from both Norse and Celtic mythologies to create the setting and lore for Elden Ring, and it's pretty obvious to see.

Most of the demigods that make up the family of Radagon, Rennala, and Marika more closely mirror to the Aesir of Norse myth than anything else, though certain relations and inspirations aren't exactly 1 to 1 with the myth, but it's fine. So let's start comparing our Empyreans and see what we can gather through process of elimination.

-Radagon is obviously our Thor counterpart, what with the red hair, signature hammer, and tendency to kill Giants.

-Marika is a little less obvious, but I'm inclined to say she's our Odin, seeing as how she's the head of the Golden Order and is most known for hanging high above the ground, much like how Odin hung himself to gain the knowledge of the universe.

-Radahn could be our Tyr, the god of war, but that's about it when it comes to comparisons.

-Malenia is not just our signature Valkyrie Lady, but I would bet money that she's our Frigga/Freyja equivalent, as she's the Queen of the Valkyries, and Malenia leads a group of other like-minded women who share some aspects of her moveset.

-Rhykard is our Jormungandr/Midgardsormr, being the serpent of blasphemy and leading the charge to destroy the Golden Order much like the World Serpent himself. You could make the argument that he's also Nidhoggr, which is also valid, but I see that more with Messmer than anything, as he's the only other snake related character.

-Maliketh being Fenrir is another one, as the canine son of Loki was the one to ultimately kill Odin in the myth during Ragnarok, so Marika controlling the Rune of Destined Death makes sense.

-Morgott could be our Heimdall, as he's the last bastion of the Golden Order before the player character makes their way to the final portion of the game.

-This one is probably a stretch, but Godrick could be Sleipnir? Odin's horse is the only one that comes to mind when making comparisons for the bosses of Elden Ring as they both have an unnatural amount of limbs, so eh? Also, Sleipnir is a horse and Godrick is just a freak with an inferiority complex, so that's both reasons why Odin/Marika doesn't want him that much lmao

-The Fire Giant is more likely than not Surtr, as he's the only literal fire giant in Norse Mythology that would aid in the destruction of Asgard with his giant sword, or I guess in the case of Elden Ring, a giant trash can lid.

And that's all I can really think of off the top of my head for the Norse side of the equation, but the question remains: where does Ranni fit into all of this? Well, one of my theories is that I'm at least 95% confident she's our Loki. How so? Well, I coincidentally left out one other demigod out of the list, and for good reason. Godwyn the Golden was the first ever demigod to be slain by mysterious assailants, ordered by daughter of Radagon and Rennala, Ranni the Witch. It sounds awfully familiar to the Death of Beldr, the invincible god of light, who was struck down by a dart or arrow made of mistletoe crafted by Loki, the god of mischief. Beldr's death would usher in total chaos and was the first step into the inevitable apocalypse of the Norse pantheon. The Black Knife Assassins were the mistletoe, Godwyn was Beldr, and Ranni the Witch is our Loki.

That should be the end of the discussion, no? We figured out the comparison pretty neatly, didn't we? Well, yes and no. Ranni being Loki makes perfect sense in my book, but we forgot to mention anything related to the Celtic myths that were also a big inspiration for Elden Ring. And they are indeed a pretty big part when talking about the Hornsent, the Carian scholars of Raya Lucaria, and so many others.

Rennala of the Full Moon, mastery of the glintstone school of magic, is probably the game's version of Danu, mother goddess of the Tuatha De Danaan, pantheon of the Irish gods. Her leadership over the school and mother to half the demigods on our list gives weight to the theory of her being out Queen goddess of the Tuatha De.

Mohg and the rest of the Hornsent could be categorized as Fomorians, enemies to the Tuatha De. They represent many things, such as death, destruction, and other stereotypical "evil" things, which make sense. They were lepers of the Golden Capital, ridiculed and shunned away from the light of the Erdtree, our Yggdrasil of the game, for they were deemed cursed and unholy creatures. Mohg himself was seen by the community as one of the only truly evil characters until the DLC came out.

Godfrey could very well be our Dagda, king of the Tuatha De and first Elden Lord. The Dagda is the pinnacle of strength and manliness, which couldn't be any more truer of a statement than that. Godfrey shatters the very ground beneath his feet with just his body alone, and isn't above just thrashing the player character with the might of a hundred wrestlers and with the discipline of a tavern brawler.

Blaidd, everyone's favorite wolf man, is our Setanta or Cu Chullain, the Hound of Chullain, and son of Lugh of the Tuatha De. The fact that he's a werewolf kinda makes the connection between the two characters have a little bit more staying power. A strong warrior who also can be described as a crazed beast in battle makes sense for the beastman with a giant sword. Too bad Cu Chullain died after his revolt against Queen Medb after killing leagues of her own soldiers.

But who is Queen Medb? Well, in the myth, she was a lover of many men, warrior queen to many soldiers, and master strategist in times of war and conquest. Later years would call her a descendant of the fae, as other Celtic stories tend to go, but that isn't always the case. She was however the last opponent Cu Chullain would face before she ordered all the sons of all the soldiers he killed and sworn enemies to the Hound to chain him and kill him with his own weapon. Some iterations of the tale would say one of the reasons for her antagonism towards Cu was his refusal to sleep with her or take her hand in marriage, though that would be an incorrect summary of what happened there. But I think Elden Ring takes that one step further.

If Ranni is to be our Queen Medb, then her one true follower, Blaidd, our stand in for Cu Chullain, would be a kind of ironic take on the myth. Blaidd wants so badly to be the witch's consort, but she refuses his advancement, and seeks the player character out for their hand in marriage instead after furthering her questline far enough. She wants to erase this world and remake it in her image, with us by her side, even barring her trusted Hound. A fun, yet twisted take on the killing of the warrior formerly known as Setanta.

So I ask the audience once again: is Ranni Loki or is she Queen Medb? Or is she both? Or maybe she's neither and is instead a secret third thing? (I also would have said Scathach, Cu's mentor, as she is also a demigod who's proficient in magic, but I like the Medb theory more cuz it's funnier) I'll let y'all decide on that one in the comments. Personally for me, it could go either way, but I'm more leaning towards Loki, since there's a stronger connection there than the Medb argument, as the only real reason I brought that side up is because Blaidd just resembles Cu Chullain way too much for me to ignore.

Also, please don't ask me about who I think the Fingers, Astel, or the Elden Beast are supposed to be. My knowledge of both Norse and Celtic myths only goes so far, so until further notice or I'm proven otherwise, I'm just gonna say they're either fairies and/or representations of Christianization. That's all from me BYE

[overheaven]

i know i have a lot of things i could be doing better (stretching more, not getting lost in hyperfocus, trying to remember to feed myself) but gotdang i should not be in this much pain always!! anyways gonna journal about that here

it is wacky to have that HUH? THIS ISN’T NORMAL? moment but legit within the last like. two weeks only i have realized my body hurting all the time is not just me being 31 or having bad ergonomics because i realized my partner has the same type of lifestyle and yes she absolutely gets pain flare ups too! but not like this, not all over, and usually improved with minimal changes. & i’m having like “i need physical therapy repair” levels of pain consistently for the last few years, all over in varying different places, and wow yeah like. that really isn’t normal huh.

and maybe i don’t exercise regularly enough but i DO try to be aware of my posture and do at least some end of day before bed decompression and stretching… i know for a fact there are people my age who do even less than that (for whatever reason) who aren’t in this much pain like. is it my bed? am i just sleeping on really shitty mattresses? is it just me doing art or playing video games for too long and getting RSIs? is it a vitamin deficiency?

like i shouldn’t have to be going to the orthopedic walk-in with a different swollen limb or a new pain every month. this is beyond just “agh i got tennis elbow from overexertion” this is “i got tennis elbow from sitting with my arm on the sofa wrong” this isn’t just “my back hurts cause i have an office job” this is “my back hurts when i sneeze, cough, and breathe” this is “i got a muscle spasm so deep i had to go to the ER because i couldn’t unbend my hip without wailing”

then there’s these other elements like, my mouth ulcers have been acting up a lot these past few months, and in recent years i’ve started getting tonsil stones, i developed acne (2-3 years after starting T!) that needed to be treated with accutane even tho that doesn’t run in my family at all, my ongoing habit cough and other respiratory issues… idk i might just be clinging onto the hope that there will be one compact answer to all of this but i wonder if it’s all connected.

it kind of just feels like everything in/on my body flares up or breaks out on the regular. it’s like it’s fighting itself lmao. and idk where to start trying to repair it because each thing is compensating for something else.

i do wonder if this is some sort of long covid thing which i mean i don’t doubt having caught it exacerbated or accelerated issues, but a lot of these have been present beforehand so like. yeah i guess i’m hoping this won’t be written off as “just covid” shit like. bone and joint issues run in my family REALLY bad, as do thyroid issues… idk i wonder if i’m finally getting that shit too lol. got my mom’s side’s shitty eyesight early, might as well get the rest too now ://////

[kittykat5090]

late night thoughts about gv2, since i haven't played any other game in the series beyond gv1 or gv3 in months, at minimum, and i apparently haven't started a save in gv2 on the switch? (or maybe the physical and digital copies having different data borked up the switch and now i have six save slots for both striker pack games >:) )

i hated the localization way more than i thought i would. i knew it wasn't going to be good going in, but actually playing the game and seeing the lines of dialogue for the first time in forever just felt wrong. 8-4's flavor of localization (at least for the gunvolt games, idk about the other stuff they've translated) did not sit right with me this time around, especially when it had to be stretched out to cover the midstage dialogue, plus the actual voice lines tend to go for way longer than the dialogue itself (which i don't think was 8-4's fault for the most part, but it still bugged me). although i didn't play a lot of the game, there were way too many moments where i went "wait, (character) wouldn't say/talk like that," and usually it was because they spoke way too casually than what i would've expected them to. i wouldn't say it was a dealbreaker, considering i can put up with gv3's story, but since it is a dialogue-heavy game i figured i should bring it up, especially since it was my biggest gripe this time around

gameplay's still fun, but i found myself having way more fun as copen than gunvolt. again. i should probably actually get good as gunvolt instead of just running through everything, even though i can and i'm good enough at EP management that it usually doesn't bite me in the ass lmao

i find it really funny that, as the series progressed, it got better and better at explaining its mechanics, despite the story requiring at least some knowledge of the previous game(s) to have a full grasp of what's going on. like, in the case of gv2, why lumen's hanging around gunvolt all of the time and being referred to as joule. i mean, i GUESS you could figure things out from the brief spoiler flashes when gunvolt runs into mytyl??

speaking of mytyl, i'm still sad about how joule was written in this. she feels more like an annoying sidekick than, well, joule, who sure as hell wasn't annoying. it also sucks that the secret ending stuff didn't lead anywhere, but tbh it's not like i've ever gotten it in the first place :/

(sorry if any of this is incoherent, it's currently 5 am and i haven't slept 🙃)

[jrueships]

what are the best wire ships?

YALL SHOULD NOT HAVE ASKED ME THIS LMAO 😭😭 i am so not serious to be the header on the wire fandom resurrection front but here we go 😭 i guess 😭! I HOPE URE READY CUS IM NOT LMFAO

FYI this post might contain some spoilers to the show but if u want a nonspoilerly version, just asked! it's pretty old so if yall haven't seen it i 10/10 recommend!!!

im painfully trying a rewatch of the show, i say painfully because my attention span watching a show vs a movie is KAPOOT! i can't stream 30 hours of a show but i can sit thru a 3 hr movie (if i haven't seen it before. Ill still have to get up and stretch sometime in the middle of it but ill be attentive nonetheless). LIKE... sitting thru a long movie holds more accountability to my mind i think. If i can't binge thru multiple episodes and end on a comfy, even number like episode 10, i can't bring myself to sit thru one without checking my phone 😭 BUT IT IS A GOOD SHOW! i just suck at watching shows in general, especially past the 1st season.. idek why.. it's like i get thru the 1st season in a happy binge breeze then BOOM! no more motivation... BUT WHAT I MEANT WITH THIS IS!!!!

This 1st post will mainly just kinda lightly touch on general knowledge from season 1 then expand in detail the more seasons i rewatch (with more ships too probably). This is mainly my fav ships i noticed now or back then

TO BE NOTED THO!! the wire isn't a really shippy show tbh, it's mainly about dynamics thru relationships contributing to story/effect on the story rather than romantic relationships. Every plot point has to have an eventual purpose for the story, every interaction, etc. It has like one will they won't they mainly for angst, and it's for Detective McNulty who has a general 'will he won't he' beat the Irish drinking gene or whatever lmao. If u wanna ship, u gotta really take the few nuggets the show might give u and REALLY turn them to gold. Cus they are gold in general, but it's up to you to make them really profit! IN CONCLUSION.. u gotta be. A little delusional. Hence our first 'ship' introduction..

🩵 stinkum & bird 🩵

... i told you we had to be a little unwell to really indulge. Sorry.

this is a totally biased list so please excuse me. Stinkum n Bird are two of Avon's muscle in the game and they both get outta it pretty quick. Involuntarily, of course, because they're the typa freaks that love it. With these two, you need context clues n connections. Almost EVERY scene Stinkum is in, he's GOT TO bring up his boy Bird. Hell, it might just be every. This is mainly due to the writers knowing the actor of bird is a big shot cameo, so it'd be too expensive to have Bird in a lot of scenes, especially in a TV show budget. And they also knew Stinkum wasn't made to last long so why not just use him as a substitute introduction to Bird's character so we don't have to pay that much for personal appearance in prologue? Bird's supposed to be the 'unhinged' one in the crew, the Crazy Guy. Crude, rude, cruel, & ruthless. Don't have the budget to show it, cheaper to tell it instead. Stinkum's just the hype man to Bird, essentially. Also he has another thing going on that leads to his early demise, but besides that, that's pretty much it. Goes to show how the show wants every dime spent for a strategical reason. Good TV shows need Causation, not 'and then's, but 'therefore' 'so' ETC.

... doesn't mean we can't have fun with it ourselves though. See, The Wire brings you quality entertainment, & it's up to us what we make of that quality to be entertained. Up to our love of the show to keep coming back to it and exploring the prime time possibilities it presented/hinted/hid. Which is a lot since practically every part of it is practical. The beauty of Stinkum n Bird to me is Stinkum being some wide-eyed doe eyed obsessed little freak who woobifies n glorifies n babygirlifies Brutal As Fuck bird because? He's insane. I guess? They both are! This is evidenced in the show, on purpose for plot! But this purpose can be made even better if we make something accidental out of it. Take the gold and spread its profits through smaller amounts, cut the product for bigger prices! LISTEN LIKE.. they made stinkum's character constantly bringing up Bird's name for plot... but him always yammering on about Bird can mean other things...... dare i say... gay things 😈. WHY does he always talk about Bird? For cheap character intro to get us ready when Bird makes his short appearance eventually yea but WHAT ELSE? they're giving us an ELSE without rlly GIVING us an else! Stinkum, who's a bit of a dopey lil goon guy, might have been unknown to a certain shooting danger one night when BLAM! He turns around, not filled with lead, but with awe for the guy he just saw skin a man alive... save HIS skin by dealing with his unforeseen assailant. Stinkum sees a softer side to the craziest, cruelest guy in their group, and has his respect eternally earned. Does Bird ever return it?? We don't know.... Bird never mentions Stink. Which creates more fun for us cus we get bounce off that with whatever the hell we want. It always goes back to the source! IF YOU WANT.. i recommend looking up 'the wire stinkum' / 'the wire bird' and ull find their scenes that show more of their character. I can elaborate on a single ship in more detail if u want, just ask ! trust me, id be MORE than happy to lmao!

🩵 Bird n Omar 🩵

Apparently, thanks to Stinkum, we know Bird n Omar jailed with each other. And STINKUM heard from BIRD that Omar was gay?? Which is like.. ok. Thanks stinkum/bird??? That's a bit.. what do u mean by that... have you, Bird, man whose little scenes he's shown is spewing same sex sexuality slander 99% of the time, Experienced that info Firsthand? Are you. Perhaps. Were you... One of Omar's whole stable of boys he had while locked up at Jess Up 🤨? ...the public needs to know 😈. Is all this talk you have against the lgbt.. perhaps... coming from a bit of internalized Rage 🤨? hm 😼? AND THIS ISNT JUST MY SPECULATION EITHER!! Other wire fans thought this!! They were sus on stinkum n Bird's relationship too!!! hell i GOT that idea from one of the wire's youtube COMMENTS!! yall we see it.. we do. Also Omar is 5'10... Bird is 5'3 at worst (says he's 5'5 but trust me. That is a definite lie.) .. Bird's also Omar's type too (which i find hilarious).. lightskinned. some may say, even, a little bratty BUT HEY! HEY!! im just usin my context clues given to me from THE SHOW ok! dont shoot the messenger bird... Omar looked like he was enjoying Bird getting his comeuppance a little Too well in that police interrogation scene.. i wouldn't be surprised if there was a deleted scene of him saying 'oh what a mouth'... BUT FROM THE SCENE GIVEN TO US THO.. what do you Mean 'bird really knows how to bring it out of people', Omar 🤨? What do you. What do you Mean by That 🤔? something.... explicit 🫣?

ANYWAYYYSS... smthin Bigger.

🩵Avon & Stringer 🩵

u rlly do have to see the show for all of these to rlly land with u tbh, the bigger ones especially bcs when the show has two characters they keep close for long... u know they're gonna be in pain. And u are too. I love avon and stringer man they make me so 😭😭!! One bleeds red the other bleeds green... ones all for family, the other for profession but DAMN IT! He thought he was family too, isn't it? Aren't i... Avon ? If the other ship types were doofy tongue out loyal to the bone tail wagging dumbly following dog Stinkum x asshole cat with claws who Maybeeee has a Slight soft spot for the dog where only HE can scratch it sometimes Bird, or elegant silk n clever streetcat with a semi bitten ear who steals fish with class Omar x rowdy rabid orange tabby cat who jumps at windows trying to eat other cats Bird..... this one is . Opposites attract. Unlikely friends to the end. Unlikely betrayal in bonds. Unlikely.. Unlikely. I don't wanna speak on it too much incase u haven't seen the show. It's just so good, it needs a justification thru watch. Avon and stringer together.. u can just feel the connection. Like these two Were childhood friends and now all this shit is happening to them.. this rift. It sucks!! It makes u wish the old days with them!! It makes u feel like an old head! Makes u feel what they're probably feeling but can't express cus they don't have the power or the pride rn!! I love them. They make me miserable. Avon and stringer were THE powercouple on the wire. They were THE girlboss malewife powercouple takeover. THE adhd bf Autistic bf romance. OKAY??? I just have to tell u the terms, it's up to u to see the show explain it. Watching stringer infodump about whatever smthing new he learned in his community college econ's is so cute. His finance bro business bro interests 😭 Avon acknowledging it and helping him indulge in it!! Making it a giant part of his organization!!! Avon the hardworking son from a long line of feared bad blood incorporating his businesstime consigliere godfather type shit ! Seeing avon get all excited at the bball game, jumping up n stomping the ground when he's winning or losing Lmao. Stringer roasting the competition, joining in on the pettiness. I love them. They're my petty powercouple and I GET TO SAY THEY DESERVED TO KISS EACH OTHER!! And GET MARRIED and LOVE EACH OTHER!!! okay!!! In another life avon is the prideful n stubborn basketball coach for their cc's poor basketball team and stringer is the sexy rich new econ professor who got demoted for being too harsh on his past private college students. D'angelo the spoiled nephew hates going to Stringer's class and hates Stringer even more when he becomes his strict new stepdad thanks to googly eyes at Avon. The coparenting comes with its troubles..

Another big crime dealing (literally) powercouple on the newer side..

🩵 marlo & Chris 🩵SHUTUP ABT CHRIS'S HAIR I TRIED OKAY IM NOT TRYING THAT HARD OKA

this one is mainly dynamic, there are some works for marlo/chris, but it's mainly dynamic exploration or relationship hinting if u squint but kept kinda dim under the surface. What's interesting abt these two is that.. They're just so interesting. It's like.. how Did they meet? WHY is chris so loyal to marlo? Also it's on misinterpretations too cus people might look at chris and think he's the ruthless killer who takes joy in his killings since he's big muscle for marlo's group... but actually he's a very chill (unless ur crime is Bad.) kinda kind n polite guy with a butler-like professional nature in his affable behavior sometimes . VS everyone thinking marlo is some emotionless, bug-eyed freak who just watches from the dark. And he is LMAO. Just like how chris CAN be ruthless, marlo CAN be hauntingly apathetic. But he can ALSO be very petty. I mean, half his Google images are of him looking disgusted LMAO. He's almost always vaguely annoyed, impeded upon, or intrigued. And chris n him Both know the other should not be messed with when pissed. If avon and stringer are the more kind of 'front and center' powercouple at the party, Marlo and chris are the two lonely assholes sitting in the dark corner (uninvited btw) of the party, vaping and judging people. Marlo doesn't drink, so he's just sipping ice water out of a red solo cup telling chris to kill whomever marlo finds insignificant (so everyone) while chris stares at the weather app on his phone, not knowing what to do. I love them in the goofy sense. They're just so awkward. Bruh girl 4 bruh girl. When two mfers with social skills where u can tell it's ok Except there's just smthin kinda Off about them, keeping them from being normL, find each other... the world burns. And it Did. They both have insane trauma and i think they should kiss. Ill def reblog with more abt them when i get to the later seasons rewatch..

🩵 Omar's og crew with him, Brandon, n bailey 🩵

i loved Omar's og little Robin hood crew so much 😭 it's a shame the wire back then didn't know how successful it'd be, so they introduced n had the other members live so short for story. They shouldve had more screen time fr! Doing shenanigans!! i just love the dynamic of Omar n Brandon being best bfs... Omar simping for Brandon n letting his mistakes slide bcs hes down bad for the lightskin.. and then there's lone wolf John bailey who just has to third wheel with them. Bailey is known to just go wherever the money goes, do whatever to get whatever, mix with whatever for whatever, so gotdammit if he has to spend time stealing money n drugs with gay people, he'll spend time stealing money n drugs with gay people!! i guess 😭. he definitely will be using that time to side eye them tho 😭😭. The funny gay couple and the straight man (literally) doing stealing shenanigans.. smh. We were robbed 😭 from their robbing!!!!!!!! i wish we saw more of them (dont get it twisted from all the praise the wire gets, it does have its faults, every show does!).. got to explore them more! We barely get to see Brandon before he dies n we don't even get to see John bailey's end result! Just hear it passing by! SMH!!! they were a cute lil ragtag group and i wanted to see them successful!!! also.. just saying John but... if u stayed n had a threesome instead of going to see ur 'mom', you wouldve lived longer...... probably not that long when you've got avon n his muscle minions after u... but still. You missed out big time bro. It's time to consider switching sexuality sides, methinks !

AS CLOSING SINCE WE'RE RUNNIN A LIL LONG!!

🩵 gay ppl.. everywhere

🩵 The Baltimore fuzz can also be poly excluding kima as platonic <3. Herc n Carver have too many sus conversations to be just bros at this point ... but ill talk more abt them later probably! They're rlly cute tho! And bunk n McNulty have their buddycop banter that's very domestic and assholic because they are domestic assholes. Bunk made lester bow-legged. Bunk ALSO outside of police stuff, has some childhood lore with Omar, of all people. Perhaps Omar had a schoolgirl crush on THE JOCK bunkster, feared star of his... school's game with the stick or whatever lol it sounds cute though! I'll talk more abt the fuzzy side of the show if u want, but they're pretty big so ull see more of that for urself with less explanation needed if u watch it !

🩵 avon's barksdale crew could be a poly powercouple gang takeover !! As could marlo's! With obvious platonic pieces as snoop probably has her own gf n such. Wee-bey is just so beautiful he needs to be a bf!! he needs someone to listen to his fish facts!! Him and stringer probably trade fish facts n finance facts! Avon and his gang kiss <3

🩵 bodie/Wallace have some fans! The stubborn kid playing tough guy to survive trying to steel his heart and the smart kid who's a little too soft and a little too supportive.. it's sweet and sad :( .

🩵 Bodie n poot are cute too. The second coming of girlboss malewife. Lil Kevin had to be in a poly with them or smthin cus there's no other reason why they should keep him along 😭 he was so shit at being muscle. It's not even funny LOL. Poot was also kinda shitty at being muscle too. Lil spoon headass, desperately debilitatingly declining hairline headass. Fuckin poot 😭.. bodie rlly spent his whole life carrying the team tbh. No wonder he's always such a crabby Lil guy! Yall make him do too much! By the time he was 26, he felt 86 probably !!

🩵 there's also cutty n slim charles, n other people that show in the later seasons that i can address later in a reblog, but yea! So far those are my favs mentioned n can be elaborated later! thank u SO much 4 asking, this was SUPER fun n appreciated 🩵🩵🩵 i doubt many ppl will read this n i don't blame yall but TRY if u can.. to watch The Wire if ure ever bored n have some freetime!! it's so good 😭

[laurasbailey]

original anon here, i'm real grateful to you and everyone else for taking the time to respond and share your input!

i'm usually better at distancing myself from online spaces, i've just kinda "relapsed" lately and went on a self-destructive deep dive ☠️ like..."i've been checking reddit", kind of self-destructive. what a long break does to a mf, i guess

i do agree with what you've all said & I'm aware that it's basic common sense in fandom spaces and beyond - if i've been enjoying c3, there's no reason to let someone else's opinion bother me. i think one of the issues is…if there's stuff that i've been enjoying less on my own, and then i see negativity around that same stuff, my brain tends to take it as confirmation that it's true lmao and i find myself suspecting that i would enjoy a sandbox-y vibe a lot, but that's not happening with the characters and story that i've been invested in since the beginning. am i making up problems in my head? definetly, and i'm actually a bit ashamed to admit that, but hey

all that being said, i absolutely love those same things you've mentioned (the focus on the ladies, this romance, the high stakes and having ashley full-time) and more, even as i have less context for it being unusual since it's my first campaign! and i obviously agree that it's not anyone's game but theirs. i wouldn't wish for them to cater to anyone's desires but their own and i'm 100% sure that what i loved from the beginning is common in every campaign - the joy and fun we get watching them enjoy themselves

truly, the negative thoughts are more related to getting too bogged down thinking of the story itself, in a way, and wishing i could see these specific characters chill a bit and explore…so basically the ticking clock problem haha i generally worry they're never gonna get to talking or resolving interpersonal issues before the campaign's over and they're not the main party anymore

sorry for the lenght of this and for bringing it to you out of the blue haha i've been overthinking on loop and since literally no one i know watches the show and i don't want to be annoying to them, i'm annoying on the internet. again, thank you so so much!!

i think i get where you’re coming from and i think you’ll enjoy c1 and 2 if that’s the case! there’s definitely a lot more meandering, and c2 doesn’t even start tackling what i would consider “the main plot” until like 50+ eps in lmao. meanwhile c1 has the high stakes of c3 but the main plot starts early and stretches for a long time.

i think since i’ve experienced both of those campaigns already, c3’s shortcomings don’t worry or bother me enough to care too much. whether the plot “sucks” or it’s “too fast” is really not that deep to me bc i just love the show in whatever form they’re willing to give it to me. it’s still funny, emotional, well-acted, etc regardless, and that’s the reason i watch to begin with, which could be different for you! also i’ve made my peace with the fact that we probably won’t get a ton of character focus this campaign, and while that is disappointing, i think being realistic helped me be chill about it all.

for other people, it’s the opposite and they expect every campaign to be like the one they like and they throw a tantrum when it’s not. if people are content to do that, that’s on them! c3 might not be for you, or you could have more of an appreciation for it after watching the other campaigns. it seems like you’re going to keep talking yourself into not liking it, whether it’s true or not.

you could always try watching another campaign and take a break from c3 stuff? it might be helpful to engage in something else if you’re stuck in a spiral of searching for the negativity. and if you do end up hating c3, it’s not a big deal either. it’s the people who don’t shut the fuck up about hating it that are annoying as hell lmao

[fangmich]

Alright I finished WotR!!🥳🎉 My first Owlcat game which I finished without crying because of bugs and bad design decisions.

Speaking of bad design decisions here is my terrible opinion of it. I liked it more than Kingmaker but it still had these problems of giving me decisions which didn't seem too important just to be very important in the end of the game. Dearan's quest was weird I needed to go back hours because I said something which could ruin the relationship and his ending. Also the whole thing with Areelu where you need to do specific stuff to get the secret ending and one thing ruins it all?! Who does that?!

My other grief is also with the way everything takes so much time... reading everything, fighting the enemies on the map, loading screens and in general the story was just too stretched out. It took me 180 hours and at the end I just didn't care for anything. I think I had a better time in Deadfire and I played that game multiple times.

Now things I liked! The companions were so well done and you could be very dramatic with them like I killed one because she was just lying to me lmao. It's really a good way to roleplay tbh. Areelu was a great character to follow you just wanted to know who she was to you and love how the writing established from the start that you kinda are connected to her. Hell was fun and I think that was the better part of the game actually. I liked the queen in the sense how horrible she was in everything she did but somehow she didn't meet her end in my playthrough and I was so sad about it 😂

Another thing is voice action!! It was such a teeat to hear the actors when it happened I wish the whole game was voices it would help a lot with the "too much text" problem tbh

So all in all it was enjoyable and I was glad to play it I am just sad I couldn't build a bigger connection to the world but I guess that's more on me than the game.

[konfizry]

crossposting this from discord that way i have it somewhere

Alright so like the two theories right. Test tube Shionne VS Normal Infancy Shionne. 

(what it boils down to is, were the thorns dormant in the Imeris bloodline, allowing shionne to have come from an actual family and home, or were the helganquil growing Imeris girls in labs because thorns make it impossible for a baby child to be taken care of through normal means. More or less)

I truly wonder if the game leans one way or another? Like honestly, since no reference is made to Shionne’s family, I guess it isn’t that much of a stretch to think she was made in a lab, and never made to even meet the people/person that were her parents. 

Naori *is* said to have been returned to her family in the aftermath of the the channeling ceremony, though, right? Which leads me to think she really did just go on to make at least one baby and Naori’s line of daughters and granddaughters and so on lived relatively normal (by Renan standards) lives with the thorns dormant within them. What I fail to understand is why Naori did not pass down the knowledge of that sealed astral spirit crumb. Or you know what maybe she did, but one of the daughters broke the chain because…. Idk, many things could have happened. 

(oh also i am going off the assumption that all babies, or at least every first born that descended Naori’s line was afab, i think it makes it easier but maybe that’s not the case).

Also, also, if we think back to the way Shionne worded it. “They called it treatment, but in truth they were just using me as a guinea pig for their research”. This gives me the impression that she started out “normal”, until a problem was identified (the thorns), which necessitated changes (“treatment”, spending more and more time in a special facility away from her home, etc). Like, if Shionne and her like her whole genealogy for 300 years had always solely lived in labs, i feel like the “treatment” justification would not be needed. That would just be how life is. Your kind lives in this lab, period.  (or perhaps, a different justification would be provided, imo).  So like my headcanon is that her thorns (very conveniently) started manifesting when she was 3 or 4. Which kinda coincidates with when you start forging memories (shionnes says she’s had her thorns for as long as she can remember) and it’s also a time when it miiight be technically possible to keep a child fed and alive without necessarily having to touch them directely (DO NOT ATTEMPT) 

I think I prefer the idea of Shionne originally coming from an actual home with a family and not a lab is… well it just makes her more special and intense, lmao? The utter loneliness that comes with being the ostracized family fuck-up, the cruelty and violence of institutionalization, the distress and confusion of a body that *won’t behave*, and she’s the only one who shoulders it all. There is no mother who has been through it before to look towards or even think about, no family of hers has ever lived in that lab. It’s just her, alone and scared. Idk, I think I just love it more. The gradual abandonment of Shionne by her family is an idea I am interested in. Although, a friend on discord presented the idea that maybe she was sold to the lab, which is also worth considering imo! My idea was that, in the end, it became apparent to Shionne’s family that leaving her in that lab for good was just, convenient. Shionne is an embarrassment to them. Out of sight, out of mind, let’s move on. I don’t know which one is grimmer.  Also, another thing, it might not hold much weight but, Shionne views herself as a Renan. Which to me implies that whe was not in an envirronment that was completely hermetic to the rest of Renan society. idk, to me it feeds into my headcanon that she was not born and raised in a lab but rather still had some ties to the outside world, albeit very strained ones

Now for something even more controversial. I like to think that the Helganquil didn’t even know that a part of Rena’s spirit was stuck in the Imeris bloodline. And I’m aware that it probably doesn’t fit too well with what’s established in game. Butttt listen I like it better that way ergbergzjirtge. But here’s the thing, like I said, they really did return Naori to whence she came, like they really wen “yknow what that was some bullshit fuck the maiden bye bye never call us again”. Listen, they wanted to nothing to do with those Imeris women. Was the great spirit of Rena embarrassed? That is so moe of it. 

ANYWAY. So right, there’s that (but ofc you could argue that just because naori was sent home doesnt mean they werent keeping tabs on her but i am ignoring that). Also, when recollecting her life in the lab, Shionne remembers “the face they’d make whenever they accidentally touched her”. And idk, it’s shown to be a pretty significant part of her trauma, people reeling away in pain, that i think maybe it’s happened a lot. And. What this tells me is that the researchers at whatever facility Shionne was sent to had no idea what they were doing.

 I am someone who leans towards the idea that the Helganquil’s control and surveillance of the Renan population was on the more subtle end of the spectrum. Like it’d get real coercive with the hypnosis and nanomachines or whatever when they really needed something done but for the most part the manipulation is less heavy-handed, in my opinion. I want to believe that the facility Shionne was sent to was not under direct Helganquil control. I want the Renans who experimented on her and abused her to have done it while having as much free will and consciousness as is possible. Because that cruelty is possible without alien mind-control. I think they were just curious Renans, who had no idea how to deal with a person with thorns but were absolutely fascinated and yet profoundly disturbed by her condition, so treating her as subhuman was just the most natural thing to do. 

[dirtyoldmanhole]

time for analyzing the absolute most freak-ass set of supports i have ever seen nintendo handle (affectionately)

A-support first since this got overly long, and i also touch on the JP versions as well.

half meta analysis, half lengthy shitpost because.

well ~

Last time in the Gunter/Corrin support train, we learned that Gunter used a little toy ball to coax Corrin out from her shell post the mind wipes when she was as skittish as a kitten, and then in the B support, Gunter/Corrin played catch again for the first time.

A little odd, but fairly tame. Here though ..... :')

(pardon me for the different "Corrin" look -- i ripped these screenshots off of a youtube version b/c i was lazy about not getting into the game proper) god do you know how many random ass files i have as reference for gunter JP/EN voicelines, JP/EN my room bits, transcripts, sprites, etc ... after this fic is done i'm totally making that fanshrine if only to stick all this shit in one place lol

anyway, corrin starts this bright and peppy and eager for more.

eyebrow waggle-/shot

cute. :D

(the stretching's cute, too. like, more seriously, this isn't just wind-down/playtime, you can tell he's always incorporated this subtly as part of her training, likely modifying some soldier's training in a manner a little bit more befitting of her.)

they keep going...

Corrin: Ready as I'll ever be! There's no way I'm missing one of your throws! Gunter: All right, then. Here we go. Corrin: And easily caught. I have to say, Gunter, you have excellent form and follow-through. You know, I just remembered… Wasn't this ball made from a whip? Gunter: It was indeed. A pretty odd choice for material, I know… Corrin: Gunter… Would you be willing to tell me a few stories from when I was growing up? I still have a lot of holes in my memory from when I was little. Gunter: Of course. But you'll have to pay attention to the ball at the same time!

i do find it interesting garon was keeping tabs enough on corrin to have opinions on how she was being raised, but not close enough that she has any recollection of him.

now for an absolutely wtf level of fridge horror: there's a part of the same JP lines above that made me sit way the fuck up.

Gunther: Of course. Then, as we’re playing… On that day, King Garon was in an incredibly terrible mood… He handed me this whip. He told me that until you were obedient, I was to continue whipping you.

"continue whipping" [record scratch] wait what the fuck

... i think that implies that garon was whipping corrin before she was she was sent to the tower?? man what the hell kind of life did corrin have between being kidnapped out of hoshido and before ending up in the northern fortress under gunter's aegis.

gunter's no saint, not in the least bit (i have sooooooo many issues with the side of fandom who thinks he's just a sweet wholesome old grandpa lmao lol looooooooooooool no), but damn did he sure protect her from the worst of krakenburg.

okay this is interesting

a) she doesn't trust her memory like, at all. it's wild to think that gunter's literally likely the one dude that remembers her early lived life the best considering her other retainers (jakob/flora/felicia) were kids even slightly younger than she was, the hoshidan siblings were really young as well, and no other playable nohrian character was around much other than the occasional visit, post her kidnapping.

it's a little terrifying to think about how (i guess, if you interpret the game that way?) anankos was possessing him way back when and had free reign around corrin. that's kind of why i'm not totally in love with that interpretation (that'd be the perfect time for anankos to take out/corrupt corrin. why didn't he?).

anyway

b) that 'closed off' line says a lot from him, considering Gunter's hardly a socialite, either. in fact their whole support chain was framed around corrin seeking him out because he starkly seeks out alone time so much that it's a little ... isolating.

so like, if mister 'nah i don't need to be around people' is saying that, sheesh. i dabble in it with this slowburn fic, but i could almost see corrin being selectively mute at times, and hiding from people days at a time.

their dynamic ain't normal by any means but you can see how that kind of early-stage trauma bonding on both of their sides would influence [gestures at] everything, you know?

gunter's not just a father("figure"). or just a combat instructor. or just a mentor, or later, just a lover -- he's something that's more, even all combined. there's a hardwired sense of trust and codependency that's seared into them from the get-go.

(it's fucked up! god it's fun to write though.)

so i ambled away from my computer at this line while screenshotting these and only afterwards realized that this out of context sounds like a goddamn porno LMAO

[whispers] what in the fuckity fuck nintendo

corrin, sweetie.....

...................how in the fuck are we supposed to read that with a straight face sjkhshajhjhjjh

lol. lmao.

okay [drags hands down face and cackles]

so this is right about where i really have to say i genuinely cannot see their (romantic) relationship being anything but a kink relationship. (and i say this in the fic notes but it's not the 'bdsm acronym pasta garbage' sense, and it's not in the 50 shades of grey cliche 24/7 M/s sense either, god i cannot fucking stand the cliche version of that shit. shoot me if i ever write that.)

and i say that for several reasons.

one - if you're shipping them, their mutual power dynamics are so hopelessly tangled between them and it's the one language -- in a way -- that they both "speak" later on that is uniquely equipped to handle a lot of that and the trauma junk from both of them in a private, loving, dignifying way. i genuinely mean that, too. rev's possession arc with him, corrin recovering from the mind wipes, etc. they're gonna have to face a lot of unpleasant shit together, and actively grappling at and mutually playing with those realities is, in a complex way, hell of a lot healthier than simply pretending it doesn't exist in the first place.

(two - metatextually i think nintendo intentionally encouraged a kink flavor to gunter/corrin because this ship does squick the fuck out of most other people and i'm not totally unsympathetic to that, so i think it's a way of quickly weeding out everyone except the folks who are genuinely here for this in an unironic sense. )

three - i already wrote up kink analysis re: gunter here lol (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ

four - and sorta on this note, what's interesting is... with a lot of kinksters i know, they knew they vibed differently in that way really early on, even as kids. like even in stupid silly make believe play games they'll tie up barbies in random ass ways or discover in a genuinely innocent way that they like specific sensations of pain they can control. later on as adults, a lot of times the brain wires go [bzzt] and suddenly the world of power or sensation play makes a hell of a lot more sense, and frankly, is a lot more fun in certian sexy arenas of life. sometimes it comes along with trauma junk, sometimes it doesn't, it's not a binary thing (as basically everything isn't).

THAT IS A LOT OF WORDS TO SAY corrin also inadvertently being wired that way and having these little semi-accidental lines doesn't actually surprise me that much. (i can also see this specific line being a little bit of a 'hrmm' flag for gunter in that she's not going to run away instantly screaming at the idea of playing these specific kinds of games, later on once when/if they're romantic)

am i projecting a little? fuck yes, that's what we're here for

Gunter: Indeed. I knew that striking you wouldn't ever get you to open up to anyone. So I came up with a different method - one that used this ball. I returned to your room sometime later, and I rolled the ball over to you. Corrin: Which I immediately picked up, examined, and threw back to you. Gunter: Oh, you remember this part? Good.

that actually is incredibly wholesome she remembers this part. ;a; you know gunter was always probably lowkey sad at her not remembering key parts of her childhood, regardless or not if it was moments between them or not.

wheeze

so did you know, treehouse actually neutered this down from the JP version which was straight up, i shit you not:

Gunther: …It’s nostalgic… It really is. Kamui: …How long has it been since? I’ve always considered you like my real father, Gunther-san.

l u l "real father"""""

i'm dying man

every single goddamn time i think this ship can't possibly get more fucked up IT DOES

YOU STRAIGHT UP MARRY YOUR DAD IN THE JP VERSION LMAO

it would be hilarious enough just knowing the whole existence of a (married) S-support coming up but coming right after the heels of that THE BALL WAS A WHAT realization.... hee

anyway here's the last chunk:

Gunter: You… You are much too kind. Ah, now look at what you've made me do. Corrin: Gunter! It's rare that you miss a catch. Gunter: My sincerest apologies. There was… something in my eye. Corrin: Getting sentimental in your old age? Hang on, I'll get you a handkerchief.

damn girl, 'sentimental in your old age'. you vicious! :D

it is horrible of me but every time i think about the end of this support i bust out HYSTERICALLY LAUGHING for a completely different reason since if you headcanon Gunter as always holding a flame for/romantically harboring feelings for Corrin-

CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT HIS THOUGHTS WERE TO THAT ""FATHER" LINE LMAO

on one hand: 'i'm special to her :'))))'

on the other: [ O H K O ]

anyway half of what makes the A-support peak fridge-[everything] is the S-support right after ~ coming soon!

[anonymouscatloaf]

title: I could paint you picture perfect, even if I were blinded

aka guess who dug up a 1.3k word unfinished guangying soulmate AU fic in my old docs from two years ago, read through the entire thing, and realized they officially do not remember enough about this show to even recall who the side characters are anymore lmao

unfortunate, bc I kinda like where it had been going. it was a “you see the world in black and white until you and your soulmate make skin-to-skin contact” AU where guangying don’t realize they’re soulmates until chu ying's hand brushes shi guang's just barely when he passes the fan to him in his dream, and the first color shi guang sees is the red paint on the fan, and he's frozen in the moment because he doesn't fully understand what he's seeing, and by the time he thinks to lift his head again he only sees chu ying's retreating figure and the red accents of his clothing as he fades away.

...I cannot remember for the life of me if I had a fix-it planned for this fic, or if I ended it with shi guang waking up realizing that even though he’d found his soulmate, he’d still never be able to see him again.

anyway. title's from the song picture perfect by escape the fate, and here’s all 1.3k words of the unfinished fic below the cut so I have it archived somewhere lol

Shi Guang stares at the pattern of black and white stones against the equally monochromatic Go board as if they’ll cower under his unblinking gaze and rearrange themselves into a game that favors him, as opposed to one that portends his inevitable dismal defeat.

“I lost,” he concedes, placing two stones on the board.

“You’re improving,” the translucent spirit sitting across from him says with a beatific smile.

“Hmph.” Shi Guang sighs and sprawls dramatically across the Go board, sweeping all the stones carefully to the side as he does so to avoid knocking them off the table. “Doesn’t mean anything if I don’t pass the grading tournament when that happens,” he mutters, peering up at Chu Ying and studying the miniscule shifts in his expression. “And it’s not like I’ll be up against anyone as good as you! But I can’t practice with Shen Yilang or Hong He right now, anyway—and the nerves of those two, running off to spend all this time with their soulmates when we have the tournament coming up. What’s so good about colors, anyway? Go is in black and white, what else do you need?” 

Shi Guang’s well aware that his mulish complaints seem to have run his train of thought off track and possibly off a cliff as well, but in any case, he’s never been the one to think before he speaks, and when he starts speaking, the concept of shutting up is about as foreign to him as the concept of color.

Fine, so he’s a little bit peeved about not being able to see what’s so damn pretty about a ‘blue’ sky, when all his roommates—Yue Zhi doesn’t count; that rich kid hasn’t ever slept here—can. 

The traitorous corner of his head starts blaring “You Are My Eyes” again, and Shi Guang mentally kicks that melody into the basement before slamming the door shut on it.

Chu Ying laughs quietly, drawing Shi Guang’s attention away from the rapidly scattering state of his thoughts. “I said something similar once.”

Shi Guang blinks uncomprehendingly and tries to remember what he’d been talking about. “Said what?”

“When asked about searching for my soulmate—that the colors of Go are the only ones I need.” Chu Ying’s gaze goes distant, with that same hint of bittersweet reminiscence in his eyes that accompanies any discussion of his before.

“...Do you still think that?” Shi Guang ventures cautiously. He didn’t even really mean it himself; he’s made far more outlandish claims in a fit of temper.

Chu Ying is different. Shi Guang can imagine him saying that, and meaning it.

This is the same idiot who couldn’t care less about a literal princess being in love with him, after all, Shi Guang grouches to himself.

But Chu Ying doesn’t respond immediately. The silence stretches on long enough that Shi Guang is starting to worry he’s said something to upset Chu Ying into retreating back to his own little corner of Shi Guang’s heart, and Shi Guang might end up spending the next hour having to coax him back out like one might comfort an overgrown child.

(Which Chu Ying is, a lot of the time, but that’s beside the point.)

“Go stones may be in black and white, but in the eyes of Go players, they’re an endless kaleidoscope of color,” Chu Ying finally says, his voice soft but no less firm. “My world is never truly in monochrome, Xiao Guang, and yours isn’t either.”

If Chu Ying has a soulmate, it’s most certainly Go, Shi Guang thinks, studying his face in the ensuing brief silence, I certainly wouldn’t wait a thousand years just for a chance to see something or someone again.

“And weren’t you the one who told me about the importance of friends?” Chu Ying adds lightly, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

(Shi Guang distantly wonders if Chu Ying wears lipstick in addition to eyeshadow—sometimes he thinks Chu Ying’s lips look a couple shades darker than most other people, but when it’s all shades of grey, Shi Guang can never be sure.)

Chu Ying continues teasing, wholly oblivious to the rapidly spiraling state of Shi Guang’s overactive imagination. “…Or are you just jealous you’re the only one left alone among all three of you?”

Shi Guang snaps back to attention. “Who said I’m alone?” he protests, “I have you, don’t I? And our Go?”

Chu Ying’s smile brightens. “You’ll always have us.”

-

Shi Guang can’t sleep. 

After staring at the hotel ceiling so long that he starts finding patterns in the cracks and dust, he finally tears his gaze away to glance at Chu Ying’s silhouette standing by the window—he always leaves the curtains drawn up because Chu Ying seems to like watching the world pass by outside; thankfully, neither Shen Yilang nor Hong He have ever complained about the light.

Chu Ying doesn’t seem to notice Shi Guang’s gaze, so Shi Guang continues to watch him in silence. Chu Ying’s posture is as ramrod straight as that stupid hat he wears, standing eerily still by the window—like he’s one of those ridiculous fur-hatted soldiers guarding that one palace in the United Kingdom that Shi Guang only vaguely recalls because he'd doodled Chu Ying over a picture of one of them in his primary school world history textbook.

Even in shades of grey, Chu Ying is probably one of the prettiest people Shi Guang knows. Shi Guang doesn’t have Chu Ying’s penchant for poetry or way with words; he’s a simple and straightforward person. If someone is good-looking, then they’re good-looking. No obscure—if he’s never used them in daily conversation, then they’re obscure, damn it Chu Ying—idioms about flowers and mountains and lakes will convey that better.

(And it’s an inane observation to make right now, probably, but Shi Guang's thought process around Chu Ying has never really made much sense.)

Moonlight filters through the dusty windows and casts shifting patterns across Shi Guang’s bed sheets, passing through the semi-transparent Chu Ying as if he doesn’t exist.

That thought leaves an unpleasant twinge in Shi Guang’s chest. He opens his mouth without really thinking and tosses out the first conversation starter that pops into his head, keeping his voice quiet to not awaken his roommates:

“How do you even know if your eyeshadow actually suits you, if you don’t know what color it is?”

Chu Ying turns around, blinking in confusion. “Ah? When did I say that I don’t know what color it is?” With his back to the light coming from the window, any normal person would’ve had their front shrouded in shadow. But the moonlight passes straight through Chu Ying, and he stands before Shi Guang still as bright as the moon itself.

“…I thought you never met your soulmate? And even if you did—” Shi Guang’s brain-to-mouth filter catches up just in time before he finishes that sentence.

Even if you did, she’d be long dead by now, wouldn’t she?

Chu Ying purses his lips, but he doesn’t look offended; rather, he’s fighting a smile. “Xiao Guang, just because I can’t see what color it is, doesn’t mean the servants dressing me couldn’t.”

Oh, right.

Chu Ying used to be filthy fucking rich (to put it politely), or whatever the equivalent term for that was a millennium and a half ago.

In any case, Chu Ying was someone who probably even had others bathe him, and now he was…

Well, now he was Shi Guang’s and Shi Guang’s alone, so he’d have to live with him in this ratty old hotel room with two other teenage boys—though Chu Ying seems perfectly content doing so anyway, as long as Shi Guang keeps playing Go, of course.

“…So what color is it?”

Chu Ying sighs in fond exasperation. “Even if I tell you, neither of us will really know what it looks like. It’s red,” he adds, before Shi Guang can start to protest. “And my clothes are white and red, if you were curious about that, too.”

“Red, huh? …Good color. Probably,” Shi Guang mumbles.

Chu Ying smiles helplessly. “Probably,” he parrots. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

[32flavorsotbbg]

9.1

You know what tho, it did go that far.

It went that far and it went far enough for him to say he knows he’s met the right person. It went far enough for him to say when we get the chance to be serious he’s going to be very serious.

So like. Was that too far? Was it so “too far” as to be untruthful?

I can’t stress enough how not mad I am. Really. But I am confused as fuck.

The distance thing is so wack. I mean I’ll do it.

But I’ll be honest idk how much of it is a game to me at this point. Now I just kinda wanna be available for the plot. The futures stretched out before me are just…….. enticing. But you know what that kinda seems like a pattern as well.

Doing things just to see how they’ll end up. But what if things end up great? Idk

They haven’t so far.

Yoops I just caught it… the ick that might just be big enough.

Why am I handing my fucking life over lmao yucky 🫶🏻

Maybe we’ll be great friends! Perhaps we’ll see. Perhaps we’ll never speak again lol

Ooooooooooof dude it’s so gross!!!! It’s making me laugh 🥲 I feel like the more I am my authentic self, the less he will like me. Fuck idk how to act lol

But I’m like, turned off. No malice!!!!! No ill will or hard feelings, it’s just like hitting me like yeah idk this man whatsoever lmao he probably sucks!!!! Fuuuuck lmao most of them do

Brutal brutal. The type A business is a wild one indeed.

Dude why does trying to pick a fucking soda stick with me so hard??? Like ew

Anyway anyway

I think I’m off the gym lowkey. High key 🥲

It just seems too…….idk. Too much. I don’t wanna pretend shit is normal or cool or whatever. I want it to be normal, if it was up to me it would be. But I have someone absolutely thrashing at the helm and it’s like… hmm. Okay this doesn’t feel normal.

There’s no space for my feelings and that is such a red flag. There’s no space for me. And like yeah okay the world doesn’t revolve around me yeah great whatever. Blah blah is what it’s giving.

There’s too much logic. I’m not with that, shit doesn’t have to be in a box.

I wasn’t listening close enough. It was being said for so long but I was an entire fucking flat of oreos I guess lol just waiting in vain to be gobbled up by a man who supposedly only eats meat and fruit… so yeah, it’s all about timing. For him. But now for me it’s about strength of resolve. He could really make that mindset work for him if he wasn’t so neurotic about it. But bottom line, he is doing this…. And it’s just such a turn off. That relentless cycle of like really trying to be “better” marred by intermittent bouts of weakness. And that’s just not it for me. I believe that if you’re gonna be in something you should just go ahead and be in it. If you’re gonna diet, you should do that. Stfu about it and do it. If you’re gonna be done with your marriage, if it’s clear they don’t fucking want you, I believe you take your mind right the fuck out of it.

I believe in some fucking decorum and pride. Don’t talk about it if you’re not about it. Don’t say you’re not hung up on your ex if you’re still hung up on the wound. Get over it.

Go enjoy your fucking life. Go see how you got free from a giant fucking financial burden who didn’t fucking like you??? Go feel your freedom on your skin.

Idk idk idk. This is easy to say now.

I wonder if he can catch at all any type of vibe thru the silence. He probably doesn’t even think about me.

I hate the don’t put me on a pedestal shtick. Like there’s another assumption. You’re assuming I’m putting you on a pedestal because I like things about you? Because I can see the good in you? Interesting okay. Does it feel like you’re on a pedestal now that I have less than nothing to say? Now that I won’t even check in? Will you feel like I’m putting you on a pedestal when I say I wanna go to the gym alone???

What is that shit? I couldn’t put you on a pedestal if I fucking tried. A human man lol on a pedestal. Imagine.

So do you like that it feels like I’m your number one fan or is that too much of a pedestal? You’re conflicted and confused. And that’s fine for you and all around you lol but not around me