#it me. having emotions when i should be going to bed

[writerdownbookworder]

The princess smiled at him happily from across the battlefield as she rode away. 

Edmund smiled back and waved. The minute she was out of sight, his hand dropped and he ran it through his hair nervously as he returned to work, carting away the bodies of the enemy and friends alike. It was hard, emotional work, and thankfully, it took his mind off of the explanation he would have to give his family in a few short hours.

Finally, he was able to go home. As soon as Edmund walked in the door, he was bombarded with hugs from all six of his little siblings. They were all between the ages of 2 and 10, and the smaller ones tried climbing him like monkeys. Edmund laughed as he hugged them all, then his parents and grandparents who all lived with them in the four bedroom house. 

After Edmund finally got the little ones calmed down and regaled them with some of the tamer stories he had, he looked at his mother. 

Reading his mind, she started corralling the kids. “Come on, everyone,” she called. “Bedtime!” She ignored the groans and moans that came as she whisked them into their bedroom.

Edmund shifted awkwardly in his chair as he waited for her to come back. When she did, taking a seat beside his father, Edmund took a deep breath.

“I have some news to share,” he began. “I am…engaged.”

His grandmother hooted with joy. “Ha! Finally!”

“Really, Mabel,” Edmund’s mother said reproachfully. “Let the boy speak.”

His father turned to him. “Do we know the girl?”

Edmund wouldn’t meet any of their eyes as he mumbled, “Sort of.”

His grandfather crossed his arms. “It’s not that Katrina, is it? You do know she’s a bit strange. I don’t think you should marry her. Can you call it off?”

Edmund sighed and rubbed his forehead. “It’s not Katrina. And that’s not very nice, Grandfather.”

“Hmph!” his grandfather pouted. “Well, then, who is it?”

“Itstheoldestprincessprincessisolde!” Edmund said, all in a rush.

His grandmother put a hand to her ear. “Eh?”

Edmund took a deep breath. “It’s Princess Isolde.”

“What?!” came a shriek from behind them. Everyone whipped around, only to find seven-year-old Avalie peeking around the corner and eavesdropping. 

She started bouncing on her toes with excitement. “You’re gonna marry Princess Isolde?! She’s my favorite!”

Edmund’s mother put her hands on her hips. “Young lady, you are not supposed to be up. You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

Edmund sighed. “She might as well stay now.”

Avalie ran over and jumped on his lap. “You’re my favorite! How did it happen?!” she asked eagerly.

He couldn’t help grinning at her. “Well, last year, remember when I was gone for so long? I was one of her personal guards. A few days ago, we ended up near each other again, out on the battlefield. I thought…” he let his voice trail off, remembering he was talking to a seven year old. The adults in the room knew what he meant, so he continued his story. “I knew I loved her, and I was pretty sure she loved me too. We grew close last year. I asked her to marry me, and she said yes. And…here we are.”

“Are you gonna go live in the palace?!” Avalie shrieked, ignoring when five adults shushed her. “That’s so exciting!”

Edmund laughed. “Yes, I suppose it is. I believe she said she would send word in a few days. I’m…not too sure what to do next. We did just get out of a war.”

Avalie clutched him tightly. “Can I come with you?” 

He laughed again. “Fine by me! You’ll have to ask Isolde though.”

Avalie’s eyes went wide.

She, Avalie, was going to meet a princess! And not just any princess. Her very favorite one!

And Princess Isolde was going to marry her own brother!

That would make them sisters!!!

The rest of the adults were not as excited as Avalie, to say the least. The minute she was shooed off to bed for a second time, the questions resumed.

“How?”

“Why would you do such a thing?”

“What in the world possessed you?”

“Her?”

“She’s the heir to the throne! What does that make you?”

“Why would she even say yes?”

Edmund glared at his grandmother, who had asked that particular question. “Gee, thanks.”

She shrugged. “Don’t mention it.”

The soldier had proposed to the princess out of a mix of getting it out now and the belief he wouldn't make it. Now that the two are alive after the final battle, she intends to make good on what he promised and he's now wondering on how to explain it to his family.

[astrow1zar6]

Sun + Moon Combos Hot Takes

Sun in libra Moon in Pisces: PEOPLE PLEASERS! No seriously though these people try their best to charm the pants out of anyone (even ppl they don’t like) they aren’t opposed to lying to impress others as well. These people lie A LOT. They usually lie to appear more interesting to others and come up with some pretty extravagant lies lol. It’s pretty rare these people ever feel comfortable being themselves they are usually always mirroring those around them. These people also live and breathe relationships. They love the idea of love and can go thru a number of partners before really committing (isn’t the most loyal sun moon combo).

Gemini sun Cancer moons: this can be a very emotionally unstable combo. I notice people with this combo aren’t really the most ambitious of people. Most stay with their parents longer than most as well. Their sun sign craves change and their moon craves safety so these people can have a constant battle in their heads of if they should experience new things or stay in their comfort zone. This can cause them to stay stuck in situations and environments that they should’ve grown out of longer than necessary. if theirs no big earth influence it can be very hard to ground your emotions. VERY BIPOLAR. They are also more homebodies and quieter compared to most Geminis.

Scorpio sun Aqua moon: an enigma fr. I’ve only met one person with this combo usually cuz it’s EXTREMELY hard to actually get to know these people. They have the same vibe as a shadow. Just very lowkey, in the background. Usually these people despise the spotlight but when they actually make themselves known they are so MAGNETIC. Usually have very interesting/eccentric personalities under all that mystery. They are lowkey the definition of “not like other girls” these people also give a sorta vampire vibe to them idk how to explain it.

Cancer Sun Virgo moon: super boring 😴 they are usually very predictable.. like annoyingly predictable to their mannerisms down to the things they say. Usually don’t like to stray far from their comfort zone. They remind me of that one SpongeBob scene where the fish is on repeat going to work coming home eating sleeping and then at the end the wife goes “coming to bed honey” “yes dear”. That’s what I think of when I think about these people😭 very basic taste in clothes and food as well. on a positive note though they are very loyal to the people they love and they’ll do anything for the people they love. Usually really hard workers as well. But overall I find this combo to be very bland 💀 next..

Aries sun cancer moon: these are the adult boss babies of the zodiac sun moon combo. These people get VERY DEFENSIVE over the smallest shit. They don’t really like when people make to many jokes about them or teases them or they will lose their shit. These people can be sensitive about the weirdest shit. Most people don’t expect this cuz they’re usually harsh to others so when others are harsh back they don’t expect such an emotional reaction. They have a lot of emotional resilience however and are way more intuitive than most Aries. These are the least confrontational of the Aries I notice as well. They’re more passive aggressive/manipulative when upset. I notice these people can become really rude and aggressive when other disagree with them as well. They deal with emotions pretty childishly.

Libra sun Gemini Moon: these are the pick me bitches fr. This combo gives dumb blonde energy. These people will flirt with anyone to get out of anything lol. ( it works most of the time) their constant flirting can get them into some trouble sometimes. They have a habit of breaking a lot of hearts from flirting too much 😭 this can be a big yapper combo too. These people sometimes don’t know when to stop talking (especially about others) they LOVE gossip.

Sun in Aries Capricorn Moons: these people give Bully energy imo. They can be incredibly bossy and controlling when they want something done which doesn’t win them many friends. I notice this combo can cause a lack of emotional intelligence, these people will say things super harshly without thinking how it can affect the other person (if they have strong water in the chart however this won’t always be the case). They tend to find weaker personalities to boss around too which I don’t respect, they usually get too sensitive when someone can actually match their boss energy. I may have came off harsh with this one so I’ll say some positives😭 usually these people have amazing ambition and have the ability to make A LOT of money in their lives. Gives big CEO energy. Also this is a jack of all trades combo, they are able to do so many things, very handy.

Leo sun Cancer moon: usually have amazing/ healthy self confidence (makes sense since the sun/moon are both in their home) these people grow up knowing exactly who they are and what they are capable of even from such a young age. These people are actually sooo funny too. Their comedic timing is soooo good. They can however be more of a “loner” than most other Leo’s and have a big love for their family as well. Can have a problem however with putting their talents to action which can lead in wasted talent.

Virgo sun Scorpio Moon: gives Eeore vibes. No really though these people complain about everything lmao. Even if things aren’t going bad they will focus on the most negative shit. Can be extreme pessimists. Can almost be addicted to shitty emotions in a way. On a brighter side these people are usually very magnetic in social situations and can make a good amount of money in their life because of their work ethic and organizational skills. Can attract very toxic people in their lives. It’s like they’re a magnet for toxic people.

Give me some sun+moon combos that you want me to talk about more in the comments 🥰 (last post of this got deleted)

[pinkydevil16]

Stepfather Daemon Targaryen smuttt pleaseeee!!!!!

Stepfather Daemon Targaryen x Reader

i do apologise for how dark this got as i don't think that's exactly what you wanted!

TW 18+ dark themes, non con, loss of virginity, blood, threats of violence, manipulation TW do not read if it will upset you

Y/n tried to push down her hatred for the man marrying her mother, her eyebrow twitching as he looked past his bride to stare at Y/n. His eyes not leaving her own as he kissed her making Y/n sneer at him before hiding her face. 

She pitied her mother, feeling so inlove with the man before her and yet Y/n knew exactly what the Prince was like. A man child.

Someone who threw his toys out the pram when he didn't get his way, and that was exactly what this was. 

Him getting his toys back. 

Y/n held her dress up as she walked out the banquet hall, sick and tired of the charade and wishing to be alone in her chambers. A sword coming infront of her as she froze, the heat of his breathe against her neck as Daemon circled her until his sword was facing the ground and his smirking face was in it's place.

"Y/n." 

"Daemon." Y/n spat as she sneered at him, her fists clenching her dress tightly until her fingers ached.

"Why are you leaving the festivities? You haven't even seen the bedding ceremony." Daemon's eyes were dark, his hair cut shorter after battle as Y/n glared at him and scoffed.

"I do not wish to see such an atrocity or i fear my eyes will melt from my sockets." Y/n practically spat out the last words as she moved to the side ready to pass him but his arm was quick to slip around her waist and force her against the wall, his body caging her in. Her face full of thunder and eyes stormy as his hand pushed her hair out her eyes.

"You should not speak so callously to me or i might have to punish you." Y/n pulled her head away from his hand and grit her teeth as he relished in her hatred.

"You are a despicable animal unable capable of any emotion but jealousy. Do you honestly not have anything else in your life but the urge to torment me?" His hand was quick to grip her chin before moving down to her throat and yanking her forward, forcing her to look up and into his eyes as he grinned sinfully. 

"I could show you a true animal. Perhaps after your mother is asleep i will creep into your chambers and fuck you until you understand who you belong to." Y/n's hands grasped him, trying to dig her nails in but as she felt the warm liquid spill onto her fingertips without a single twitch she knew he would have to let her go to be free.

"I suggest your next words are ones of affection and not an attempt to scare me off." Daemon tilted his head as he squeezed his hand tighter, watching her face become red and her nails scrape desperately to get him off.

"T-that would be lovely Daemon." As she spoke his grip loosened until he barely held her throat, running his thumb up and down the column of her throat with a sweet smile.

"I expect you to be ready for me then." Daemon let her go fully as Y/n held her throat and glared at his figure walking back to the hall, tears in her eyes as she tried not to show how fearful she was. 

Y/n slammed her hands on her bed as she squeezed her eyes closed and tried not to break down, her handmaid untying the laces of her corset as Y/n opened her eyes and stared out the window.

"My lady is everything alright?" Y/n just nodded as she fisted the sheet and grunted at the corset releasing her chest and waist, taking a deep breath before standing allowing the red dress to fall to the ground. 

"I am exhausted Marie, please leave me." 

"But My Lady your hair-" 

"I will be fine." Y/n snapped back as she grabbed a hairpin pulling it from her hair as she tried to undo the intricate bun, the pin stabbing into her hand as she yelped and looked down. Fresh crimson burst from the soft skin on her palm making her eyes widen before she smirked.

Daemon smirked to himself as he wandered the halls of the grand castle, a pep in his step that would look unnatural to those who knew him. Rounding the corner his smirk become wolf-like as her door laid ajar, candle light bleeding through the doorway as he creeped closer. His hand on the heavy wood as he pushed it open, the burning flame in the corner flickering as he entered, his eyes focused instantly on his prize. 

The door closed quietly as Y/n remained where she stood, her hands on the back of the tall chair covering her night dress, one hand tightened around a hair pin whilst the other gripped the fabric. Her eyes icy and accusing as Daemon stepped closer, the candle light glowing against the red fabric that covered his torso, his hand moving quickly and pushing his white hair back.

"You look ravishing." Daemon's words made her lips curl up into a snarl as he approached, her hand on the chair keeping it between them until he was only a foot away with the chair protecting her. Daemon letting out a small laugh as he looked at the chair and back to her eyes, silently mocking her.

"Do you wish to play this game because i am not above dragging you to the ground. Or would you prefer the soft bed?" Y/n glared at him as she kept her eyes on him, his hand now carelessly pointed at her bed, the same bed she had had since a child that felt so safe and comforting to her. He wished to steal that from her, to make her feel alone and helpless. 

"Do not touch me you insipid wretch." Y/n spat the words as she watched Daemon's face drop, the smirk he held now turned into a sneer as he grabbed the chair, forcing it out her hands and shoving it across the flooring with a horrid squeak. Y/n's eyes widening as she slammed a hand against his shoulder, her other gripping the hair pin as she brought it down on his chest, panic filling her eyes as she heard it pierce the skin. 

And yet he did not move, a small grunt escaped his lips and as she looked at him she felt fear course through her veins, could feel the ice cold run down her torso and seize her heart.  "That was not very nice Y/n." His voice was too deep, too calculated and far too terrifying for Y/n to be able to do anything as his hand clamped down her own and yanked the hairpin from his chest. Squeezing her hand until she cried out and dropped the hair pin, her knuckles cracking and fingers aching as he glared down at her.

"Stop." She could feel red hot tears flow from her eyes as she begged, her other hand on his shoulder keeping her steady as she watched him squeeze her hand to the brink of breaking. His eyes sizing her up before throwing her hand from his, grabbing her throat within the second and tilting her head to meet his own.

"You are testing my patience." Daemon's words were pushed through gritted teeth as he walked Y/n backwards, her hands reaching out for anything. Daemon pushed her harshly backwards, her throat burning as she coughed and spluttered, her body landing like a log on the bed. Scrambling to move as she clawed at the bedding, barely on her knees when his hand grabbed the back of her night dress yanking her backwards as she cried out. Her hands gripping the bedding as he forced her to kneel, his front against her back as his hand travelled up and tangled in her hair. His fingertips gripping the roots making her yelp in pain and clutch his hand, her elbows pointed upwards and back arched to alleviate the pressure on her skull. 

"I went through too much trouble and killed far too many pathetic men for you to be such a brat." His voice echoed in her skull as he yanked on her hair to show his point, his lips next to her ear as he laid a kiss beneath it, a moan escaping his lips at the feel of her skin.

"Now, apologise." His words punctuated by a bite on her neck and his nails scraping her head. Y/n trembled as she squeezed her eyes closed in pain and gasped at his teeth marring her skin.

"No...leave me be." Y/n tried to find her voice but it came out hoarse with her vocal cords rumbling from the bruise forming across her skin. Daemon chuckled darkly against her neck, his other hand sliding around her waist and up her sternum, her own hand rushing to his. Her eyes open and staring at the ceiling as tears welled in her eyes, one hand gripping his own in her hair whilst the other tried to push his hand away from her breasts but she could not stop him. His hand roughly gripped her right breast, the thin fabric of her night gown, her legs shaking from holding herself up as her body went into shock. His calloused hand squeezed and pressing against her breast and she whimpered in pain, his head pressed into the crook of her neck.

"I am going to give you until the count of three to say sorry before i punish you." 

"One." His fingers twisted her nipple and his had dug into her breast, mouth open and teeth ripping at the skin of her neck as he bit down. Y/n crying out as her head was pulled back to make her stare directly above her. 

"Two." Her night dress ripped as his hand yanked down, fresh tears running down her face, dripping from her chin and onto her bare chest as he dragged his hand down further until her dress hung off her shoulders and pooled around her thighs. Her legs spread as she tried to change her position but she had no advantage, his hand making goosebumps arise on her skin as he passed her cunt and gripped her inner thigh with a bruising grasp. His mouth trailing down her arm as her hand gripped his wrist to try to pull him away. Her mouth hung open and panting as his hand pulled her head further back, her throat stretching and the skin burning with pain. 

"Last chance." His voice sounded far away as Y/n cried harder, trying to shake her head but the grip on her hair was brutal.

"Fuck you." Her voice broke as she continued crying, refusing to submit to him. Daemon smirking against her arm as he bit down, feeling his teeth pierce her skin and sweet blood to prick to the surface and onto his tongue.

"Three." His voice was muffled by her skin as his hand rushed up her thigh and two fingers thrust into her cunt, a loud scream coming from her mouth before his hand left her hair and clamped down on her lips, sobs wracking her body as he curled his fingers and brutally pulled them out. Laughing as he looked at his fingers, sitting up and putting them near her eyes as he watched her tears soak his hand.

"Look at that. I said Look!" Daemon screamed in Y/n's ears as she tried to look away, his grip on her face bordering on breaking her jaw as he pulled her face back, Y/n's eyes wide open and blown out from pure terror.

"Good girl." Y/n cried harder at his praise, despising how he spoke so softly.

"That is what determines your worth, and now. Now you are worthless, nothing but a burden to this family a hole for anyone to take." Y/n sobbed against his hand as he moved his fingers, the blood coating it moving around as he ran his thumb over his forefinger. Her hand raising and trying to push the bloodied hand away. Daemon grabbing her wrist and twisted her arm behind her back, hearing it crack as she screamed against his hand, his fingers coated in her tears and spit as she panted in pain.

"All because you don't have a cock." Her hand pressed against his as he wrapped his hand fully around her own and gripped his cock, a deep moan coming from the back of his throat as he closed his eyes. Y/n shaking as she tried to pull her hand away, feeling blood trickle from her cunt as waves of pain lapped at her body. Daemon opened his eyes with a sigh and released her hand, pressing his hand to her back as he removed the hand on her face her body falling forward as she clutched at her bedding and buried her face against it. 

"You cry an awful lot for someone who stabbed me. Did you not think i would do anything to harm you?" Daemon mocked Y/n, a chuckle coming from his chest as he watched her curl into herself, her hand shaking as she shook her head and cried into the sheets. 

"Turn on your back and show me your cunt and i might make it feel better." Y/n continued shaking her head as she shook, her whole body urging her to run away but she was stuck, unable to even speak as she heard Daemon tut. Hands gripping her hips and throwing her onto her back as she cried out, gripping her sheets as he wrestled with her. Her hands wildly flying out to try to get him away, nails scratching at anything she could get to. 

"Seems my little step-daughter enjoys it. Well then, i guess i will do as you please." His hands wrapped around her wrists and roughly shoved them onto the bed, her body contorting and wiggling to try to free herself as she thrashed against him. Daemon rolled his eyes as he pinned her down, fighting with her hands until he had them both in one and grabbed her jaw, focusing her back on him.

"My patience is running thin and very soon i will simply cut you open and take what i want anyway." Y/n whimpered as he stared down at her.

"Do you understand?" Y/n nodded as Daemon smiled at her.

"Good. Now open your legs like a good girl for me." Y/n felt tears fall from her eyes as she slowly opened her legs, Daemon dropping his eyes and groaning before meeting her eyes.

"I am going to let you go and if you so much as twitch to get away from me. I will snap your neck." Y/n nodded quickly, Daemon smirking as he removed his hand and watched her closely before letting out a sigh and leaning down to kiss her forehead. Y/n trying her hardest not to flinch away and scream for help but the grip on her wrists told her she was in no position to behave against him. Daemon sat back as he slowly loosened his grip on her wrist and laid his hands on her hips, Y/n watching him with caution as he looked away from her face dropped his eyes to her cunt. His eyes almost sparkling as he ran his hands down her hips and to her thighs, gripping them as he forced them upwards until her thighs touched her chest and stomach. Y/n whimpering in pain and closing her eyes as she felt his eyes taking in every detail of her most private and concealed area. Daemon snapped his eyes up to her.

"Hold your legs, if you let go i will break your fingers." Y/n jolted and gripped the back of her knees, her body curling in on itself to keep her grip as he grinned and ran his hands along the back of her thighs as she quivered. 

"I have imagined this for months since i saw you at the banquet. If you had of just been a good girl then i would not have to go to such lengths. But now i have you all to myself. Whenever i want." As he spoke his fingers ran through her folds, the blood collecting on his fingers as he used it to push his fingers inside her cunt, Y/n yelping in pain as he gave her a pitiful look.

"You did this to yourself. Remember that." Y/n cried harder, her eyes blood red and cheeks stained with tears as she felt his fingers go deeper, twisting and playing with her insides as he looked back at her cunt. His fingers working inside her as she cried, hands shaking and clutching onto the back of her knees for dear life whilst Daemon released his trousers. The sound of the fabric hitting the ground made Y/n sob harder, her nails digging into the back of her legs until she felt blood trickle down her fingers, Daemon staring at her as he ran his hand along his cock.

"Since you are being such a good girl i will help you." His voice was that of a parent speaking down to their toddler, condescending and mean as he leaned over and spat on her cunt. The action washing more shame over Y/n as she closed her eyes and wished for it to be over, every movement of his hand making her twitch and want to close her legs. Daemon swiped his thumb across her cunt, pushing his spit around his clit until he felt her cunt loosen enough that he could thrust his fingers in and out with ease. Y/n shook as she felt sharp bursts of pain and pleasure run up her stomach, her nipples hardening as she willed any sort of feeling to leave. She wanted to be numb, to not feel anything but hatred. Every movement of his fingers made her despise her body as she heard them moving in and out, disgust washing over her as Daemon chuckled. 

"Look at me when i take you." Her eyes opened revealing glassy blood shot eyes, no tears able to come out as she watched in horror as he lined himself up. His hands on the back of her thighs as he leaned over her, her eyes widening as he thrust in and forced his lips onto hers. Kissing her harshly, teeth gnashing together and cock splitting her open. The pain making her cry out and open her mouth, his tongue eagerly entering as he explored both her holes. Her cunt squeezing him, trying to push him out hopelessly as he pulled out and slammed back in. His balls slamming against her as his hands gripped the back of her thighs, pulling her onto his cock with every thrust. His mouth stealing her breath and holding her hostage as he savoured every inch of her body. 

"Fuck this was worth the wait." Daemon moaned against her mouth as Y/n clenched her eyes shut, his breath mingling with her own as she panted in pain. His chest rising and falling, pushing himself upwards with her thighs making her whimper in pain as it stretched her cunt further for him, his head falling back as he growled out and slammed harder into her. A squeal escaping her throat as the grip on her leg wavered, his hands pushing higher until he gripped the back of her knees. Shoving them upwards before travelling towards her ankles, throwing them over his shoulder forcing her hips to raise off the bed every time he pulled out only to be roughly forced back onto the bed with a thrust. His hands wrapped around her ankles, dragging her onto his cock as his whole body rocked with his hips, eyes closed as his moans became louder and each thrust was meaner, deeper and pointed. Y/n placed her hands over her face, sobs falling from her lips as her body jolted and jiggled with each sob. Daemon's eyes shot open as he suddenly came, a gasp escaping his mouth as he stilled, cock half inside her cunt as he barely let out a breath. His eyes wide and chest puffing in and out with each intake. His eyes head slowly dropping to look at Y/n as she stared at him in horror, his eyes moving down to her cunt as he pulled out, shock in his face before he let go of her ankles. Hands coming to his hair as he let out a loud laugh, a genuine joyous laugh, his body moving with each one and allowing his soft cock to slip from her folds. His eyes still on her cunt before he moved to look at her with a fondness that made Y/n want to throw up. 

"You...are something else." His head shook as he leaned down, Y/n flinching as she expected pain for interrupting him not understanding what had happened, a yelp of shock escaping her as his hands came and scooped his cum from her cunt. Her eyes wide and body curled in on itself as he leaned over her, his fingers lingering in front of her lips with a pointed look that made her open her mouth. His fingers thrusting in and making her gag on the salty flavour as he ran his fingers across her tongue and cheeks, watching as he pulled his fingers free, clean. 

"I was planning on cumming in your pretty little mouth but if you are so desperate to be my breeding bitch then i will only cum in your cunt." His hand came down and slapped her cunt, sending a jolt of electricity through her body before he stood straight and grinned down at her.

"Clean yourself up and do not let your mother see the bruises or i will kill her. You are mine." His trousers were pulled up quick as he walked out, leaving her alone on the bed crying. 

Y/n stared at the bed, a knife in her hand as fresh tears flowed down her face, the blood and cum mixed together making her scream out. Plunging the knife into the bed over and over until her sheets were torn to shreds, feathers and fabric destroyed and covering the floor as she collapsed in a ball. 

[strnilolover]

Prince!Matt needing to go make trades with a foreign country but "Darling" can't go along on this one, she is kind of afraid of his parents and they have a million other maids to do their stuff so she's kind of just left alone in the big palace but lingers in Matt's room mostly. And when he comes home she's like crying as she had been frequently without knowing how he was doing and she admits she had no idea what to do without him and it made her realize she was pretty dependent on him with this kind of job and without her man around. :)

In the days leading up to his departure, there was a quiet tension that neither of them spoke about, but both could feel. Prince Matt tried to reassure darling with easy smiles and casual words, promising he wouldn’t be gone long. But each time they shared a glance, she could feel the weight of what it meant for him to leave her behind, even if it was just for a short time.

Normally darling went along with matt on his outings and such — but this time he wanted her to stay behind. Telling her he didn’t want her to get hurt or for something bad to happen since it was a place he hardly knew himself. He just wanted to keep her safe.

“You’ll be alright, won’t you?” Matt asked one evening, his tone light, but his eyes searched darlings face as they stood in the quiet of his bedroom. “The palace will be the same without me… just quieter.” he said, admitting the obvious.

Darling managed a soft smile, nodding. “Of course, Matt,” she replied, her voice steady. “It’s just… i don’t know — i’ve always gone with you.” she whispered, her fingers fiddling with the apron on her dress.

He gave a gentle chuckle, reaching out to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I’ll be back before you know it,” he murmured. “And I’ll bring you something from the trip. Something to remind you that I thought of you the whole time.”

Her heart fluttered, but she tried to keep her emotions in check. She didn’t want him to feel guilty, didn’t want to let him see just how much she was already dreading his absence. So, instead, she focused on the little things — helping him pack, making sure he had everything he needed, and sharing stolen moments when no one else was around.

When the day had finally came, she helped him prepare one last time, smoothing his coat and avoiding his gaze as her fingers lingered just a bit longer than they should have. “Safe travels, Matt,” she whispered, her voice barely holding steady. “I’ll… keep things in order here until you’re back.” she could feel her chest tightening just a little. Why did it hurt?

His hand found hers, squeezing gently as he smiled down at her. “I’ll miss you,” he said quietly, and before she could reply, he turned and left, leaving her standing there with a hollow ache settling in her chest.

The first night he was gone, darling tried to keep busy, falling into her usual routine with a determination she hoped would distract her from the silence. But with each passing day, the palace felt larger, colder. She moved through the halls like a ghost, fulfilling duties that seemed meaningless without Matt there. The other maids offered polite nods, and his parents rarely spared her a glance, making her feel even more out of place.

She hadn’t realized just how alive matt made the palace feel — just how cold it was without him around. It was like everyone just…somehow lost their life.

She ended up spending her evenings in his bedroom, lingering in the familiar warmth of his space. She would sit by his desk, her fingers grazing the books he’d left behind, or lay on his bed, breathing in the faint scent of him that clung to the pillows. At first, she told herself it was only to make sure his room stayed tidy, but as the nights wore on, she knew it was more than that. She missed him — his smile, his gentle touch, his quiet presence that made the palace feel like home.

By the end of the first week, darling slipped into the habit of staying there most nights, curled up beneath his blankets, seeking comfort in the small reminders of him. The emptiness without him was almost too much to bear, and lying in his bed felt like the only way to keep the loneliness at bay. She would fall asleep surrounded by his things, imagining he was still there, whispering quiet reassurances to her in the dark.

She knew it was risky of her to do — sleeping in the princes bed. She could get caught at any moment, and who knows how much she’d be punished for it. But, the consequences didn’t bother her — she just wanted him home.

One morning, as the light crept through the window, she stirred, blinking sleepily as she stretched. It took her a moment to realize she wasn’t alone, and when she looked up, her heart leapt to find Matt standing at the edge of the bed, watching her with a soft smile.

“Good morning,” he murmured, his voice warm and laced with amusement. “You look comfortable.” he said, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips as his arms crossed against his chest.

Her cheeks flushed, and she sat up abruptly, pulling the blanket around herself in embarrassment. “I… I didn’t realize you were back, Matt,” she stammered, her voice catching in her throat. “I… I shouldn’t have—”

He held up a hand, stepping closer and settling onto the edge of the bed beside her. “Please, don’t apologize,” he said softly. “Honestly, I think this is the nicest sight I’ve come home to in a long time. and i think it’s cute you decided to sleep in my bed.”

She felt her heart pounding as she looked at him, words failing her. He was here — finally here, after days of wondering and worrying — and now that he was back, the weight of all the emotions she’d been holding in crashed over her.

“I… missed you,” she whispered, her voice breaking slightly. She hadn’t meant to say it, but now that he was here, all the longing and loneliness spilled out. “I missed you so much, Matt. I didn’t know what to do without you.”

His expression softened, and he reached out, gently brushing a thumb over her cheek, wiping away a tear she hadn’t realized had fallen. “I missed you too darling,” he murmured, his voice filled with warmth. “More than I can say.”

She leaned into him, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face against his shoulder, feeling the familiar, grounding warmth of him that she’d craved so desperately. He held her tightly, his hand running soothingly up and down her back as he whispered, “I’m sorry for leaving you alone. If I’d known…”

She shook her head, pulling back just enough to look up at him, her eyes shining. “It’s not your fault. I just… didn’t realize how much I had grown to love being around you.”

He cupped her face, his gaze steady, reassuring. “I’m here now,” he said softly. “And I promise, you won’t be left wondering next time. I’ll make sure you know exactly where I am, even if I can’t be right here.” His thumb brushed over her cheek again, his touch gentle, grounding. “I promise next time you can come with.”

Her breath caught. “Thank you,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “For coming back to me.”

He smiled and leaned in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to her forehead, his lips warm against her skin, a silent promise of his devotion. “Always,” he murmured. “I’ll always come back to you.” he said, and she knew he meant it,

When he pulled away, he smiled once more. “I promised i’d bring you something back, didn’t i?” he said, gently reaching behind him and grabbing a box. Darlings eyes widened, sniffling as she wiped her face. “You…you didn’t have to matt.”

Matt shook his head, “I wanted to darling.” was all he said before handing the box to her, urging her to open it. And she did, gasping softly as she saw a beautiful stuffed cat and a bracelet. When she took the bracelet out, matt gently grabbed it from her — clipping it onto her wrist.

Taking her hand, he pressed a soft kiss to it — his thumb smoothing over her knuckles as he leaned away. “Now you’ll always have something with you to remind yourself that i’m here — that i’ll always come back to you.”

© strnilolover

a/n : i apologize if this makes no sense. i just got off of work and am really tired, but i tried to write this the best i could. love y’all 😭🩵

[edwinspaynes]

I've spent most of my writing time working on chapter 3 of Now We're at the Starting Line (I Did My Time) this month. The good news is that the chapter will be out on the 15th as planned! The bad news is that I didn't write anything for Crystal week.

Luckily, this chapter has a Crystal-and-Edwin scene in it that I'm extremely proud of! I'm posting it independently a few days before the chapter for @crystal-week, because I love our little psychic so much and want to post something for her.

Starting Line spoilers under the cut!

CONTEXT: After getting home from an awful meeting with her mother, Crystal finds herself crying on the stairway of the Agency building. Edwin, after a rather emotional moment with Charles, ascends the stairs and sees her there.

-

Crystal should go home. She knew that she should – her bed would be a great distraction right now, and the promise of a night sleeping beside Niko’s ghostly form was a comfort. But she didn’t want to go home to Niko a crying mess, so she sat on the stairs between the parking lot and the Agency above with her knees pulled to her chest.

Her mom really didn’t care about her. She didn’t give two shits what happened to her daughter. It had never been clearer to Crystal than it was today, and it had already been pretty fucking clear.

You have twelve minutes, she had said.

This conversation has been a perfect waste of time.

Crystal, I’ve let you have your little delusion for long enough.

She should be beyond sadness. She shouldn’t be such a baby. She was Crystal Palace Surname Von-Hoverkraft, and she’d always been a force to be reckoned with. Not just psychic, not just magical, but strong. Emotionally sturdy. Reliable.

Even if her memories didn’t feel like her own, she recalled feeling that way. Powerful.

And, apparently, she couldn’t catch a break. Not even to have a good long humiliating cry on her own. Because the last voice she wanted to hear sounded behind her, echoing through the rickety stairwell louder than she’d ever wanted it to. “Crystal?” Edwin sounded weirdly worried. “Are you… crying?”

“No,” she said. “Someone’s fucking chopping onions.”

Edwin sat down beside Crystal gingerly, lowering himself with his hands awkwardly. He cocked his head to the side and hummed. “I can in fact recognize when you are being sarcastic,” he said. “You are not particularly subtle.”

Crystal snorted. “Did you think I was trying to be?”

“I do sometimes,” Edwin said lightly. “Perhaps not now, though, as you seem rather… tense.” He paused. When he finally spoke, his voice was oddly stiff. “Would you like to… discuss your particular malady?”

Crystal touched the buns in her hair, one after the next. She was already crying, and Edwin knew it. She might as well talk to him. What was the worst he could do?

And, as much as she hated admitting it, somewhere deep inside her she knew that she and Edwin were birds of a feather. Crystal might as well talk to him, right? Besides, she didn’t really care what he thought about her. He’d see her, and he’d be honest. Maybe that was all she needed right now. So she took a breath and said, with absolutely no prelude, “it was my mother.”

Edwin’s response was short, and his voice was light. “Oh?”

“Yeah,” Crystal said, grateful for his brevity. It made her feel like she could go on. “When Charles and I met up with her today, she was… I don’t know. A real asshole, honestly. But I hate saying that. She’s my mom, even if she was super clear that she didn’t want to see me.” She paused. “Did you know that she only gave me a fifteen-minute appointment? I’m her daughter, and she gave me a fifteen-minute scheduling block.”

“That is… less than positive,” Edwin agreed in an oddly sympathetic voice.

“That’s very British of you,” Crystal told him, and he smirked. She did, too, but felt her face fall again after a few seconds. “Just… and, like, I don’t want to bitch and moan about it, even if I’m speaking to the world record holder for bitching and moaning.”

“Now you are just needlessly instigating,” Edwin said, but there was an undercurrent of laughter in his voice. “A well-known facet of your personality, to be sure, but unnecessary right now.”

Crystal rolled her eyes. “Well, like I was saying, I don’t want to gripe too much, but like… she didn’t care that I was missing. She didn’t even fucking notice, and neither did my dad. What kind of parent doesn’t even notice when their child is missing? What kind of parent doesn’t even give it a second thought when they learned that their kid was a literal missing person?”

She was angry. She was indignant. But Edwin was looking off into the distance, his expression calm and contemplative. He looked like he wanted to say something, but was holding back for some reason.

Which sucked, because one of the reasons that she liked Edwin – though, ugh, why would she think that – was that he never bit his tongue. But his face was careful now, even if his eyes shone with some unidentifiable emotion.

“What is it?”

Edwin turned his head toward her, his shoulders rolling. He assessed her with an almost practiced nonchalance before speaking. His voice was kind, but there was an undercurrent of anger in it that Crystal didn’t understand.

Not yet, anyway.

“I do actually know something of that,” Edwin said. “Believe it or not.”

Crystal blinked. “What does that mean?”

Edwin paused. He opened his mouth once, shut it, and shook his head quickly. “When I went to Hell - ”

“God, Edwin,” Crystal said. “I know that what’s happened to me isn’t as bad as literal Hell. You don’t always have to compare.”

“I’m not,” Edwin said. His fists clenched and pressed together on his lap. “I am very sorry that I have given you reason to believe that I am.”

All the fight went out of Crystal then. “It’s fine,” she said.

“Might I go on now?”

“Fine.”

“When I went to Hell,” Edwin continued, “my disappearance was labeled an Act of God. I believe I have told you that, but… well, I have had decades to contemplate the implications of that, and to research precisely what the declaration entailed.” He paused. “One facet of such a statement is that I was not looked for. Not by anyone. Society at large, to be sure, but I do not care much for the opinions of that lot. I do, however, care that my family abandoned my search.”

“Jesus,” Crystal said.

“Yes, I do believe that is a likely reason that no one searched for me.” Edwin’s voice was saucy, but Crystal sensed an undertone of real hurt. “They did not even start, in fact. I was an Act of God from the day I went missing. To this day, my death is what Charles calls a ‘cold case.’ I remain unburied, and my mother and father could not even be bothered to purchase an empty casket for me despite their abundance of money.”

“That sucks,” Crystal said sympathetically.

“Yes,” Edwin agreed. “It is not an ideal outcome. And I know that you think me unemotional, or cold. But remembering that no one around me cared to search for me – it is the only time that I remember that I was once a person.” He cocked his head. “But this is not about me. It is about the truth that you are far from alone in your sentiments, and-” Edwin made a vibrating sound with his lips, his eyes wide. “Well. That is rather enough emotion for one sitting. I daresay that I had far too many feelings after… well. I shall have to find a way to cleanse myself of it.”

Crystal snorted, and in that moment, she felt a bit herself again.

Then, to bring the mood back to something adjacent to normal, she turned toward Edwin. “Did you know that when I was born my mom signed my forehead?”

Edwin gave her an odd look. “With one of those… magical markers? Whyever would she do that?”

Crystal laughed slightly. “No, it was a temporary tattoo of her signature. It was like I was an art piece they were curating. They wanted to make some weird statement online.”

“Your internet is indeed an odd place. A wealth of knowledge, but also a wealth of independent publications waiting to be ridiculed.”

Edwin sidled off the stair next to her wordlessly and walked away, up the stairs and toward the comfort of his books and notes. Crystal watched him go, and he never turned back.

And she knew what she had to do.

She couldn’t give up, not for herself. Not just for her own sake, though that would have been a pretty damn good reason in itself. She had to understand her powers for Charles, for Edwin… and for Niko, who had been lighting her up inside in a weirdass way lately that she didn’t even understand. She had to know who she was, even beyond her memories, and if Maddy Surname wasn’t going to help her…

Well, fuck her.

Aicha, she thought, are you there?

Her eyes went white as Aicha responded.

Always, my sweet child.

[roboticprince100]

Blueprint for Robotic Affirmations

The simple key to manifestation is saturation and the best way to saturate your mind is Robotic Affirmations.

Before addressing this topic, let me clear the doubt of instant manifestation and manifesting fleeting thoughts or desires without saturating your mind. Yes, this is completely possible but only when you are 100% certain, you don't have any doubts and you don't really care about your desire. These desires are not life-changing and not very big. So the mind doesn't take them seriously, you don't care whether they come true or not, you don't have doubts and boom, you get what you want. If you can do this for your big desires, go ahead and try, it's definitely possible but extremely difficult.

Now let's talk about how to affirm, how much to affirm, what to affirm, when to affirm and why to affirm. The why is pretty simple, because we have to saturate our subconscious mind. Follow the steps for answers to other questions and master your reality:-

1. Never sleep without affirming:-

No matter how tired you are, how late you sleep, your last hour before sleep should be your affirmations. Start with 15 minutes before sleep for a few days and gradually increase it to 1 hour. You go to bed at 11 PM, start affirming from 10 PM, you go to bed at 3 AM, start affirming from 2 AM. Always affirm with a timer before sleep. Not one day should be missed.

2. Affirm 4 times during the day with a timer of 15 minutes:-

During the day, try to squeeze in 15 minutes for affirming with a timer. You can do this during the commute, washing dishes, cleaning, during monotonous tasks where you don't need to focus, etc. Try to do it once per day and gradually increase it to 4 times daily. So 1 hour of robotic affirming is done before the night work. Make sure you stay consistent with this, don't let the day rule you, rule it with your words.

3. Affirm both ways - In your mind and Out loud:-

Some people prefer affirming in their mind instead of speaking out, others do the opposite. I suggest doing both. Affirm in your mind when there are people near you, affirm out loud in a normal voice and tone when you are alone. Affirming out by speaking your words makes your focus stronger. You will automatically start focusing on what you are saying rather than overthinking or wasting your imagination. It's better to think thoughts of your desires rather than useless fear-inducing thoughts. Thoughts without emotion don't have any power, your words do.

4. Practise Mindfulness:-

Be mindful of everything you do. Don't rush, don't multitask, don't hurry. Focus on one thing at a time and keep your mind engaged with only one thing. Do this even while robotically affirming. Speak slowly, be clear and relaxed while affirming. Don't spam your mind, don't speak very fast in your mind, don't increase your heart beat. The more relaxed and mindful you are, the faster your subconscious is impressed. Practise deep breathing to be more mindful and aware.

5. Affirm till you get your desire:-

There is no need to detach or let go of your desires or your techniques unless you feel it from within. I have always said this - Detachment is felt from within, it is never forced. If you don't feel like you should detach or let go, then don't. Keep repeating till you get what you want and don't stop. If you feel like you are overwhelmed, you don't need it anymore, you need a break, then you detach. Till the time you get this feeling, don't stop. You can't practise driving for 1 day and then detach from it, you drive for 30 days continuously and you automatically feel to take a break. Do the same with your manifestations.

Bonus affirmations for everyone:-

1. My weight is always ___ kg/lbs.

2. My bank balance is _________ .

3. I have the best, most loving and understanding partner.

4. Everything is amazing in my life.

5. Everything is easy, everything is effortless.

Fill the blanks according to what you want. Always remember to be consistent. Consistency will help you achieve your desires, not robotic affirmations. You do scripting, imagination/visualization, writing affirmations, SATS, water method, 369, 555, no matter which technique you use, the only thing which will manifest your desires is consistency. Don't miss a single day. Don't stop saturating your mind. Even Neville took a month to go to Barbados, he could have manifested in 3 days for the first time but it didn't happen. He saturated himself for a month. Once he mastered it, he was able to manifest within a day. Joseph Murphy took 6 months of saturation to manifest his LA Hollywood Estate.

So things can manifest instantly, you can get everything in 1 day, it's totally possible. But never stop saturating yourself if you aren't able to manifest. I promise you with these 5 steps, nothing is impossible, nothing is fiction, everything is you, everything is one. Good luck!

[lea-andres]

Merlin... :(

(Also hiiiiii look who was right to 100% trust Ursula this entire time, Gothel and Scar were the lil shits making it all worse, not my bestie Ursula. 💕)

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

[emmebearpaw]

Keeping my thoughts short as I find trying to write about my emotions just makes me feel them longer as I continue feeling them while writing about them. Do you ever find yourself wishing something upon yourself that would objectively make your life harder because “then it would be easier to make things make sense”. Like, no brain, having more symptoms of neurodivergence wouldn’t make things better except for in the very specific situation of diagnosis. It would just make our life harder the rest of the time. No dysphoria isn’t something to want either. Yes it would make it easier to parse out what the gender situation actually is. In both fronts we just have to be ok with never investigating and never getting an answer, because investigating is miserable due to how unhappy it makes me and without investigating I can’t get an answer. Now please stop thinking about myself and stop feeling the stomach void TM plus nausea.

[thirddeadlysin]

just realized I haven't heard from a mutual I really liked in a while because they have me blocked (which is their prerogative obvs and i won't be doing any digging to find out why because it's their business not mine but oof)

[youremyonlyhope]

Officially crying over sad Disney songs yay.

[daedrabela]

btw did you know your upbringing and environment play a role in the development of schizophrenia because i just learned that a few days ago.

[nimomo-mo]

Vent

[fingertipsmp3]

I really do think I need to work on the fact that whenever I don’t get enough sleep and/or am prematurely awoken by something I act like a fucking banshee

[malachitezmeyka]

40 minute long breakdown wasn't on my list of plans for the evening but honestly? I think I needed that. Being happy for too long is bad for me /s

[sttoru]

Omg could we see reader getting jealous of Sukuna having sec with his other concubines? And maybe liek the other concubine rubs it in readers face?

 𝝑𝑒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. true form!sukuna x concubine!female reader. angst (no comfort), suggestive \\ smut aspects. size difference. one tiny mention of reader being a crybaby. reader gets called ‘little one, brat’ \\ kuna’s an asshole! not proofread, excuse the grammar. no part 2. wc: 3.3k

you’ve been away from the estate for three days; three days too long for the king of curses. so much had happened while you were away to take some well deserved rest—a small vacation that sukuna had granted you because you needed it.

perhaps that was his first mistake. giving you permission to leave his side ended up being a bad decision. he hates that faint feeling in his chest, the feeling of missing something.

missing someone.

it couldn’t be. sukuna doesn’t have any weaknesses, and yet he can feel his body reacting to that unfamiliar emotion again. all because of you— that one human who always succeeds to occupy his mind.

he couldn’t let himself succumb to it—he’s not going to. sukuna is not going to let a mere human like you deter him from his superior identity that he’s had for decennia. he’s not going to let you have that power over him and his body.

and thus, when you return to the estate, you find yourself being laughed at. you were unpacking your luggage when two concubines stand at your doorway, hiding their evil smiles behind their handheld fans.

they don’t waste a single second and immediately rush to ruin your carefree mood.

“you know, you shouldn’t have returned at all,” the brunette giggles, her laugh sounding like nails scraping against a chalkboard. she looks to the other woman next to her before glancing back at you, “i mean—heh—lord sukuna definitely didn’t seem to mind your absence.”

you figure it’s just another way to get you riled up, so you do your best to ignore them. you put your packed kimonos in your wardrobe as your back faces the two.

yumi, the second concubine, nods along. she knows what she’s about to reveal will get on your nerves. and deserved, if you ask her. they had successfully caught the attention of their king while you were away. for the first time in a good while since your arrival in the estate.

the fact that they managed to spend quality time with sukuna again, is a wonderful first step to your downfall. one that will surely crumble your confidence as his so-called ‘favorite’.

“mhm,” yumi grins as she recalls the memories of her time with sukuna. time spent together that you were unaware of, “lord sukuna definitely didn’t seem to mind your absence when he had me in his bed last night.”

you freeze.

your brows furrow and the corners of your lips twitch. you don’t know if you should believe them—they could’ve lied about it for all you know. although, the voice in the back of your head had already rang the alarms.

guessing by the way they were dying to talk to you the second you came back - which never happens - you realise that they’re probably telling the truth. they’re only telling the truth to agitate you. it’s so painfully obvious, and yet so. . . hurtful.

“what?”

you don’t recall when you’ve choked up. you feel a lump in your throat. it shouldn’t even be there. you promised yourself to not get attached to a monster like sukuna.

so what if he went to bed with his other concubines?

but of course he’ll get pleasure from his other women when you aren’t around. he doesn’t feel any love, he sees it as worthless, so why did you expect him to not indulge himself? he still has his other concubines around for a reason.

you really shouldn’t be surprised by this revelation.

“what do you mean ‘what?’ - you heard me,” yumi shrugs, that cocky smirk still on her face. she’s clearly enjoying your reaction to everything she’s revealing. all the two concubines wanted to get out of this encounter with you, is to break that delusion of yours.

the delusional thought that you’re special to the king of curses—the delusion that sukuna considers you as something more than a toy to emotionally manipulate and play with until he’s tired of you.

“my lord spent all night with me in his chambers until the sun rose,” yumi continues without an ounce of shame. she bites her lip as she remembers the way sukuna had her body positioned on his large bed. for her, it was a dream come true.

though for you, it’s a living nightmare. even if you try to deny the fact that it physically and mentally hurts. there’s a painful twist at your heart—reminding you of the truth.

the truth being that you had truly thought that sukuna wasn’t really a monster of a man. you thought he was a different, more softer person around you.

you should’ve listened to the servants when they told you to not get tricked by sukuna’s special treatment, that he could easily manipulate you and make you do and act as he pleases.

“do you want me to explain it in detail?” yumi crosses her arms over her chest as she looks down at you with a menacing glare. both of the concubines are loving that face you’re making. that face of defeat that you’re attempting to hide from them, “how he held me and pleasured me until i—”

“enough,” you cut them off with your hands clenched into fists. you don’t want to hear another word. you’re already feeling awful; already, not even an hour into your return. you can never catch a break.

you have an urge to throw things around. you already feel stupid, and if you decide to throw a fit, you bet that you’d feel even dumber. you truly do not know why you’re getting this worked up about it.

maybe it’s because of the special treatment. the delusional thoughts you have about your relationship with sukuna. you really thought that you two had something special. an unofficial romantic relationship, perhaps, or something that resembles it.

a secret, unspoken deal where you’re promised his loyalty in exchange for your body and soul.

although, those dreams have been shattered this very instance. you’re once again reminded of the animalistic nature of the being called ryomen sukuna.

he told you clearly that he’d never tie himself to someone, a human no less. devotion to one person? why would he.

“out of the way.”

you push the brunette and her sidekick the other way. you’re going to confront the man yourself. or at least, you’ll try to. you can hear their sick laughs and chuckles fade into the background as you stomp your way towards sukuna’s chambers.

the other concubines seem to have gotten the gist. some peek their heads out of their rooms, grinning at you in victory. seeing your confidence slowly crumble and the realisation kick in - the realisation that your dear lord’s special treatment means absolutely nothing - is a sight for sore eyes to them.

you enter sukuna’s room and close the heavy doors behind you. you swallow the lump down your throat and try your best to look presentable.

no tears, you promise yourself. you’re not going to waste them on something like this.

“oh, it’s you, little one,” the familiar voice calls out. sukuna’s low and husky voice rings from his bed. he’s laid back against the many silky pillows, blowing smoke from his kiseru. he lays there like he doesn’t care about your reappearance at all.

he eyes you up and down, “how was your vacation, hm?”

sukuna asks like it’s the most normal thing to do. it seems like he’s trying to catch up with you, to ask you how you’ve been enjoying your time alone, though it also seems like he couldn’t care less at the same time.

“just absolutely fine, my lord,” you reply with gritted teeth and an obvious hint of sarcasm. there’s also a bitterness to your tone that doesn’t go unnoticed by the pink-haired man. he frowns—this cold greeting is not what he expected nor what he wanted to hear from your mouth. he expected you to at least smile at him like you usually do, but you didn’t.

on top of that, you seemed to be annoyed with him. that unexpected attitude of yours made something inside of him snap. it irritated him somehow; the fact that you’re so comfortable talking to him like that . . . it reminded him of the recent inner conflict he had which you were the cause of.

one of his hands tightens into a fist at his side. his jaw clenches and his eyes narrow into slits. you’re physically in front of him, which means that he’s also about to experience those complicated feelings again. the same ones he tried fleeing from by letting you go on a break, and by physically taking his mind off you.

he did the latter by taking his frustrations out on his other women. the stress that came with the thought of him possibly liking a human, relieved by pure animalistic sex.

that’s exactly what you’re upset about.

there’s an urge inside of sukuna to act normal. to ignore those difficult emotions and just treat you like he usually does. yet, another part of him is trying to protect his sense of superiority by trying to push you away.

there’s a war going on in his mind as he tries to calm himself down. you’ve always had this effect on him and it’s becoming unbearable. he has to show you, no - remind you, that you’re nothing to him. you mean nothing—nothing at all.

he’s the king of curses, you’re but a human. he’ll need to remind himself of that obvious statement as well. he’s got all the power in this situation. not you.

you cannot rule over him or his mind.

“you dare come back with an attitude? tch,” sukuna scoffs, nearly breaking the kiseru with his fingers as they squeeze around the solid material. he’s turning off whatever emotion present in his body. that doesn’t belong there anyway. he won’t care if you cry—he won’t care at all.

you notice the sudden change in sukuna’s tone as well. you’re sure you’re the reason for it. perhaps you crossed a boundary with how sassily you replied to him when he was simply asking you how your vacation went.

“my apologies,” you murmur with a sigh. you try to avoid getting on sukuna’s nerves any further, yet when you remember the words from the concubine, how she implied that sukuna had given her the best night of her life when you were away, you get mad again.

your eyes have a fiery look in them. you don’t want to get worked up. you don’t have the right to. you were warned from the very beginning to not get attached to an asshole like ryomen sukuna.

you’re to blame for feeling like this. it could’ve been prevented if you just weren’t so weak. if you just stayed away from him.

“did you have fun while i was away, my lord?” you continue, your voice shaking a little. you need the confirmation. you’re sure sukuna knows what you’re referring to by now, especially because of the way you’re acting out of character.

the king of curses raises a brow at your question. you sound even angrier, even more pissed off. he tilts his head after taking a deep inhale of the tobacco from his kiseru. he tries to figure out what you’re hinting at, “what are you—”

and that’s when everything fell into place. the dots connect.

sukuna’s jaw clenches. he realises that you’ve found out about him receiving services from his other concubines while you were away. there could be no other explanation behind your sudden attitude. besides, he knows how his other concubines could be. they must have told you the moment you came back.

normally, he’d say that it’s none of your business. what he does is up to him—he does not care about the consequences of his actions. though, seeing the slight hurt in your eyes, mixed with sadness and disappointment stirred something inside of him. he brushes that feeling away and stares at you intently, awaiting another comment. perhaps you’d cuss him out or bawl your eyes out in front of him.

either way, he promises himself that he won’t care.

sukuna is the king of curses. feeling bad for a human like you would only further tarnish his image, that image of superiority and power he has.

he’s a man of many needs. you should’ve kept that in mind when you left him. he wanted to keep you with him—to hold you down and refuse to let you leave—but that would be another sign of weakness. one sukuna could not manage to show.

when you departed, he was irritated by the fact that he had no one to turn to with his needs. from simple needs like wanting your company to sexual needs like craving your body.

keeping you by his side or letting you go; both decisions seem to clash. either way, there’s one thing he’s sure of, as much as he doesn’t want to admit it: he missed you.

sukuna can’t believe that he can feel an emotion like that. he can’t accept that fact. that’s why his irrational mind took over—his dark urges that strived to prove himself to still be the same old ryomen sukuna. the monster that did not need a single soul. the ruthless man that did not depend on anyone else, especially not a human. a woman like you.

he thought he’d forget all about you if he’s surrounded himself with other women. but, he was quick to be proven wrong, and that only caused to enrage him more and more.

every time sukuna fucked a concubine, his thoughts still manage to drift away to you. to how he wished that it was you he was holding.

nothing hit the same with the other women and that frustrated him. he’d keep them around in his room after he fucked their brains out, something he never allowed a woman to do except for you, yet kicked them out again after a few minutes.

it doesn’t hit the same.

you’re just different. your presence is soothing and calming to the chaotic soul of the pink-haired man. no one else could compare. that realisation made him feel inferior; a feeling he loathes.

sukuna’s red eyes glow. he hates seeing you look so defeated, but he cannot give in. if he tells you the truth, he’ll admit his weakness. he’ll admit that a human like you has completely taken over his brain. that’s no good.

if he doesn’t tell you the truth, he’ll save face. he’ll feel like himself again. his old self—the cold ruthless monster that he was before he met you. one without a soft spot for a human.

it’s an active dilemma that’s running through his mind as he slowly blows out another cloud of smoke. you cannot guess what’s going on behind those intimidating eyes staring you down.

sukuna tilts his head back and scratches his neck, smacking his lips as he makes his decision.

“yeah, i did. i had lots of fun.”

the words sting. they hurt you and make your heart ache in a way that makes you physically weak. you should’ve expected that answer. your shoulders tense up and your fingers curl around the material of your kimono—feeling a sense of anger and betrayal.

you can see a ghost of a smirk on sukuna’s lips, which only reminds you of his nature. his nature as an independent, aloof and cold man who likes to play with his prey. a natural disaster that knows no emotion, that shows no mercy to anyone.

you’re naive for thinking that you could be the exception. all of those times with sukuna were confirmed to be but a lie in that moment. as your gazes meet, you can now easily interpret what that look in those red eyes meant.

‘know your place,’

that’s what it means. you’re foolish, dumb. you take a deep breath to compose yourself after you’ve been made out to be a total fool. you should’ve listened to those warnings, you should’ve known that you were getting played.

this is exactly what sukuna desired to achieve. to build up your trust, to make you comfortable enough with him, to think you’re special and that he won’t need any other woman other than you — just to shatter your pathetic delusions when the time comes.

“tsk tsk. no need to look at me like that,” sukuna scoffs, a mocking laugh leaving his lips. he can hear a small voice in the back of his head telling him to shut up and let you go, to not make it worse, but who is he to listen to that irrelevant thought? he can decide for himself.

“y’ weren’t around, so the other concubines simply did their job by serving me,” he stares the other way, seemingly not interested by your presence anymore. his face is as expressionless as ever, “what do y’ think i keep them ‘round for, brat? for decoration purposes? hah, nah.”

another loud mocking laugh makes you nearly burst out in tears. you don’t know if it’s in anger or sadness. you take a deep, shaky breath for the last time. you unclench your fists and nod, accepting the reality check you’d just gotten.

it’s a slap to the face, but it helped you get out of your delusions. the delusions that sukuna is a man capable of loving someone, even if it is just for a tiny bit. this visit confirmed that there’s not an ounce of love or appreciation in that man’s body.

“i’m glad you had fun, my lord,” you answer after a bit of silence. you bow at sukuna in an attempt to stay polite while struggling with that inner turmoil. you don’t even glance up at him anymore. you need another break already.

sukuna isn’t dumb. you may think that you’re good at hiding your emotions, but you’re not. at least not around the king of curses. he’s spent enough time around you to realise that you’re going through a lot right now.

he’s the reason for it, yet he cannot bring himself to feel an ounce of empathy. he just looks at you with a blank stare, thinking that this is for the best.

“good night then,” you add and turn around to walk out of sukuna’s room. your steps are slow as you secretly hope to be called back, like sukuna would do every time you’d leave his room after an intimate night. you just want him to tell you that this was a test of some sort—a cruel joke.

you want to feel like his favorite again. you don’t want to be thrown away like this. you don’t want to be on the same level as all the other concubines. you want to stand out to him.

unfortunately, you don’t hear sukuna’s voice anymore. he lets you walk away without a care in the world. the heavy doors of his chambers close behind you and you feel your knees buckle. “fuck,” you cuss to yourself and clench your chest.

you lean back against the closed doors and try to regain your composure. crying can be done when you’re in your room—not in the hallway where anyone could catch you. you don’t want to give the other concubines more reason to bully you.

you drag your feet across the wooden flooring. all those times with sukuna, all those slight glimpses of his soft side that only you’re allowed to see— all of that is thrown into the trash.

you really shouldn’t have gotten so attached to him on an emotional level.

meanwhile, sukuna is silently sitting on his bed, thinking back to what just happened. he usually never doubts his decisions, but this is an exception. why couldn’t he just tell you the truth?

his mouth had moved before he could let his mind process all that he was feeling. a small part of him regrets it, though strangely, he couldn’t feel any real sympathy for your situation.

sukuna drapes an arm over his eyes, clicking his tongue at himself. he just wants to let the situation go, though his brain isn’t letting him to. the image of you standing at the edge of his bed, clearly hurt by his actions, flashes through his mind again.

he sighs. he’s sure that he’s going to forget about you soon enough. he needed an excuse to get rid of you for the sake of regaining control over his own being and he took the chance. he should be glad that he did—it meant that he’d be his usual self—with no weaknesses to look out for.

sukuna blows out another cloud of smoke through his mouth. as much as he’s proud of himself for not giving in to you, he can’t help but let his thoughts wander again. you’re probably crying in your room. he knows you’re sensitive. you would always cry about the smallest of things and he’d hold you (feigning reluctance) until you’ve calmed down.

he can’t do that now.

well, he can, but he won’t. sukuna has made his decision today: it’s power and status over you. that’s what it’s always been. you were but a toy he used to get a stronger grip on himself.

perhaps he simply is what people make him out to be; a monster. nothing more, nothing less.