#guess who just got another hyperfixation

[anotherfandomtrash]

Stars be timing

[potatobugz]

i feel like im going insane

[mycological-mariner]

Siiiiiiigh fine

I’m taking this as my cue to finally start Kidnapped

[astonmartinii]

reluctant cupid | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem bff!reader

you could set your bestie up with a driver or you could confess your feelings? lando norris is dumb.

based on this request: Could you write something about being best friends with lando and he tries to help set you up with another driver you have a crush on, but then he realises he actually likes you so he has to sabotage all the wingmanning he’s done and you end up together Idk if that makes sense 😭🫶🏼🫶🏼 -@mbappesleftthigh

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 49,340 others

yourusername: someone please save me from the grips of hinge and this oh so lonesome life

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user1: girl knows the whole f1 paddock and looks like that and is still alone there is NO HOPE for me

user2: this post might have thrown me over the edge

landonorris: "i'm so lonely" "why don't you approach that guy" "no too scary"

user3: that's so real though

yourusername: thank you!

landonorris: how do you expect to find a boyfriend when you don't like to talk to anyone and treat hinge like a gameshow

yourusername: i didn't come here for actual advice let me commiserate in peace. god, can women have anything these days?

landonorris: ???

yourusername: oh! idea! pretty please set me up with one of your friends? they have to be great otherwise you wouldn't be friends with them, right? RIGHT?

landonorris: i guess...

yourusername: please lando, i've never asked for anything before

landonorris: i can feel you pouting through the phone

yourusername: so you'll consider ?

landonorris: fine...

user4: bro either gotta admit his feelings now or be condemned to be in the plot of a weird romantic comedy

user5: i personally don't think i can wait until the third act break up with this side character LANDO ACT NOW

oscarpiastri: you'd really trust lando's judgement?

yourusername: he's friends with me, he's got good taste?

oscarpiastri: touche

maxverstappen1: whatever you really wanna say oscar, you gotta keep it in, these idiots will figure it out eventually

yourusername: ???

landonorris: ???

user6: the grid are so done with their asses i can't 😭

user7: but what if the universe doesn't intervene and lando really has just lost the girl forever?

user8: bestie we can't be thinking like this

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 812,047 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: being back home means being bothered by her (and whatever is her newest hyperfixation - it's sylvanian families this month if you couldn't tell)

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user9: i am so sorry but they are so in love

user10: it's cute in the movies, but these blind bitches are starting to piss me off

yourusername: THEY CAN HEAR YOU, BE A BETTER DAD

landonorris: they're not my children

yourusername: you take that back right now, you LOVE them

landonorris: you spent my money on them yes

yourusername: that's fatherhood, buddy. buckle up

user11: whoever he sets her up (if he's still dumb enough to do that) is gonna be the biggest third wheel in history

user12: who would willingly sign up for that

user13: me. i would. i have two working eyes and have seen y/n

maxverstappen1: who are these funky little critters and how can i procure some for p?

yourusername: finally a man with sense, literally any grocery store or toy store

maxverstappen1: perf

yourusername: if lando stops being mr. grumpy i'll ask him if i can come to a race and p and i can play animal families

landonorris: i am NOT mr. grumpy

maxverstappen1: you kinda are dude. is it the set-up is it stressing you out?

landonorris: nO

yourusername: then why are you putting it off !!! lando i might die from terminal yearning !!!

landonorris: i have an interested candidate

yourusername: really? do you think they'll actually like me? like this isn't a pity date right?

landonorris: nope!

user14: lando is typing through tears as we speak

user15: if y/n does go on a date with someone from the paddock i actually hope it goes well, as one lonely girl to another, it's tough out here we need one win

f1wagupdates

liked by user18, user19 and 11,043 others

tagged: yourusername & carlossainz55

f1wagupdates: turns out lando is a bit of a cupid as his childhood friend y/n y/ln was spotted out and about with carlos sainz.

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user20: HE ACTUALLY DID IT

user21: that moment when you're so down bad for a girl that you set her up with your best friend

user22: that moment when you're such a wimp you can't admit your feelings and set up the girl you like with a literal GREEK GOD

user23: i am so bamboozled by this move he literally looked like a kicked puppy on his stream bro this is your doing 😭

user24: she's a lover girl she's going to get her heart broken :(

user25: this has mess written all over it

user26: she's literally described herself as a terminal yearner i feel like she'll throw herself in and will get hurt

user27: UNLESS! this is all part of the plan? what if lando set her up with a messy guy like carlos so he can be the shoulder to cry on and that's how he slides in?

user28: that's very convoluted, very rom-com but i'll take it if it means we get lando and y/n together in the end

user29: i know this probably won't last long but can we all appreciate how hot this couple is?

user30: lando and y/n runs rings round y/n and carlos

user31: lol lando is a bad friend for setting her up with CARLOS him and charles are THEE red flags

user32: i hope y/n is prepared

user33: also lando hasn't thought it fully out if his plan is to be the shoulder to cry on because he's just opening her up to be called a homie hopper or a paddock bunny

carlossainz55

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 702,554 others

carlossainz55: productive weekend with my girl

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user34: well that's not y/n

user35: that finished faster than i expected

user36: lando DO NOT quit your day job

landonorris: call me bro

carlossainz55: si, cabron

user37: i don't think they'll be cabrons after this call

user38: maybe this is all just going to plan?

user39: yall gotta give up this conspiracy theory maybe these people are just as dumb and mean as they seem to be

user40: soooooo... what did we all do this weeekend?

user41: i broke a girl's heart @carlossainz55 twins 👯‍♂️

user42: AHHHH???

maxverstappen1: oh that's not-

yourusername: you're so chronically online :(

maxverstappen1: you're alive?

yourusername: yes. coming at you live from the bed i'm currently rotting in

maxverstappen1: not going to say i didn't warn you?

carlossainz55: really? in my own comment section?

yourusername: one second, we're having a conversation here

maxverstappen1: yeah carlos, gosh.

carlossainz55: i'm so confused

user43: okay power move to just start a conversation in his comments?

user44: the power of confusion is simply unmatched

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 56,309 others

yourusername: certified boy hater

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user45: a ferrari boy will do that to you

landonorris: feeling hashtag victimised rn

yourusername: obviously doesn't include you girlypop. but you seriously need to reevaluate your judgement

landonorris: carlos is attractive?

yourusername: he ghosted me?

carlossainz55: i am right here

yourusername: blocked.

landonorris: did you actually just block him?

yourusername: yes 😀 !

landonorris: god this is a nightmare

yourusername: not if you'd take a GOD DAMN HINT

landonorris: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

user46: yall this is a public instagram comment section

user47: don't say that, this is their argument in the rain moment

user48: lemme grab the popcorn 🍿

maxverstappen1: this better not include the real number one girlypop here

yourusername: of course not pookie

oscarpiastri: you gonna continue the lil spat above this?

yourusername: no?

oscarpiastri: well some people (max and i) would like to listen so please continue

yourusername: no, i don't think i will

oscarpiastri: GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE INSUFFERABLE

maxverstappen1: what oscar said

user49: oscar and max are so real

user50: they can't leave us on this cliff hanger

landonorris

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1,043,788 others

landonorris: some snaps from '23

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user51: have we just been thirst trapped?

user52: i don't think it was intended for us

user53: this has "i am hotter than carlos sainz" written all over it

yourusername: posting tits on main, brave.

landonorris: i came second in singapore.

yourusername: sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. modesty, ever heard of it lan?

landonorris: slutshaming isn't cute y/n

yourusername: you kinda have to pull to be a slut lan. you are under qualified for the position

landonorris: if you keep being mean to me i will call your mum or my mum.

yourusername: try it. i see cisca more than you, i have faith in her

landonorris: the line is busy. are you on the phone to MY mum right now?

yourusername: maybe.

user54: we're so close to them getting their heads out of their asses

user55: don't get my hopes up

danielricciardo: i hope this works lol

landonorris: you don't think i'm sexy?

danielricciardo: it doesn't matter what i think

landonorris: i'm not sexy :(

danielricciardo: you're baiting me but yes, you are sexy.

user56: i'll fight anyone who made this man believe he's not beautiful

liked by yourusername

user57: I SAW THAT 📸

user58: someone just lock them in a cupboard at this point

oscarpiastri: noted.

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 89,034 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: yeah, yeah. you can stop yelling at us now.

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user61: LET'S FUCKING GO

user62: it was worth all that yelling. i expect an invite to the wedding now.

user63: wedding? girly they only just realised their feelings after a DECADE

maxverstappen1: it was about fucking time

yourusername: okay miss ma'am. some people are EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE AND NOT VERY GOOD AT PROCESSING THEM

maxverstappen1: you must've been emotionally constipated because this was painful

yourusername: it was painful for me too

maxverstappen1: so painful that you dated CARLOS

yourusername: one date! ONE!

maxverstappen1: carlos said can you unblock him so he can be mean to me?

yourusername: fine.

carlossainz55: STOP MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A BAD PERSON. YES I AM NOT THE BEST AT RELATIONSHIPS BUT LEAVE ME BE

maxverstappen1: lol

yourusername: lol

user64: unblocking carlos to hit him with the lol max and y/n might be more iconic than lando and y/n

landonorris: not on our relationship announcement post 🤨

user65: OOP.

landonorris: i love you doofus

yourusername: i love you too muppet

landonorris: how much was the betting pool for your family?

yourusername: it got to over £300

landonorris: ours was £750

yourusername: are we dumb?

landonorris: no!

oscarpiastri: two dumbass girls saying 'yass' to each other

yourusername: LEAVE US BE

landonorris: oscar :(

user66: not their own families betting on when they'd get together 😭

landonorris

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,430,778 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: first win, hopefully not my only one.

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user67: MY BABIES

user68: i feel like i've been on this journey with them

oscarpiastri: thank god you guys got your shit together, i was THIS close to jumping out the nearest window if i had to watch lando mope around like a kicked puppy when y/n had the lil thing with carlos

user69: so it wasn't some grand plan?

oscarpiastri: no he's just dumb enough to actually set up his first love with his best friend

landonorris: OSCAR!

oscarpiastri: am i wrong?

landonorris: no... but! i got there in the end

oscarpiastri: good thing you're faster on track

user70: the grid being just as done with them as us is killing me

maxfewtrell: finally this unnecessarily long and overly convoluted saga has come to and end, lets never do this again!

landonorris: i'm locked in for life bro no worries

yourusername: awwwwwwwwwwwwww i love you too bubs

maxfewtrell: stop being sappy under my comment

yourusername: you just complained we didn't sort out our shit fast enough and now we're too sappy?

landonorris: STICK TO A STORY BOZO

maxfewtrell: now you're even more ride or die... can we go back?

yourusername: nope!

landonorris: nope!

maxverstappen1: i for one am very happy for you both

yourusername: thank you max !!

landonorris: not so fast, he had the biggest bet on us in the paddock

yourusername: get that bag sis

landonorris: ???

yourusername: we can't fight it anymore, let them have their jokes, we actually have each other now :)

landonorris: yes we do :) xx

user71: golly gosh this is so fucking cute

fin.

note: i hope this is what you were looking for and that you all enjoyed!! i'm just waiting on my tester sticker sheets for my small business @badlydrawnf1cats on here and on instagram, if you wanna give it a follow x tHANK YOU FOR READING MY LOVES X

[crtter]

I’ve been seeing some people getting a bit confused and getting some stuff wrong in the comments of that one post telling the story about the creator of Neopets throwing a hissy fit (Hissi fit lol) over people disliking his idea of a game “that’s just like Neopets but with crypto” and I don’t want to add anything to it to not bother the OP but Neopets has been a hyperfixation of mine since I was 13 and I physically can’t stop myself from going “Um, ackshually ☝️🤓” so I’m gonna do it in my own post. Here’s what happened:

The guy who got super pissed off and started badmouthing Neopets users, ending his tirade with a selfie of him giving Neopets users the finger, Adam Powell, did create Neopets, yes, but he doesn’t own it anymore since it was sold to Viacom in 2005. He has been involved in a few game ventures since but they haven’t been very successful.

His idea wasn’t to “implement NFTs in Neopets”, he’s developing (or planning to) another game that’ll apparently be free to play with some extra paid features, and said features would be paid in some sort of cryptocurrency.

Sadly, the parent company of Neopets, JumpStart, already tried to implement NFTs by partnering with Metaverse back in 2021, with disastrous results, both in the eyes of Neopets players (who hated the idea because NFTs are a scam and terrible for the environment and all) and in the eyes of NFT bros (because the NFTs in question were VERY overpriced given their poor quality and made using stolen assets from Neopets fan sites). The project is apparently still underway but it’s hugely unpopular and tweets made by the official Neopets Metaverse account mostly only gets engagement from NFT bots, if they get any at all.

Back to Adam. He apparently thought people would be “excited about his new game because of the Neopets Metaverse thing”, without knowing how much the fanbase hated the whole thing, and tried to peddle it in the Discord server of the r/Neopets subreddit, a subreddit that has always been VERY vocal against the Neopets NFTs. And well. You can guess how much people weren’t interested in his game. Then, just to make matters worse, people went on the Discord server of his game and saw that it was badly moderated and chock full of homophobic comments made by cryptobros.

Adam gets pissed off at people disliking his game idea and not taking kindly to his comments that “they just don’t understand what crypto is about” and goes on an angry tirade, saying stuff such as how much he wished he never made Neopets because the fanbase sucks, saying he’s going to buy it back just to destroy it and ending in the aforementioned middle finger selfie, all while people clowned on him like crazy. This ended in him getting banned from the Discord server AND from the r/Neopets subreddit. He then started trying to defend himself and demanding to be unbanned in… the comment thread of a news article relating the incident in the Neopets fan site Jellyneo. Last time I checked he was still at it.

He blamed his outburst on “having drunk alcohol while on Sertraline” and has said he wasn’t aware of the homophobic comments in his server and claimed that he doesn’t have anything against LGBT+ people, but he has also made it very clear he doesn’t think he’s in the wrong and won’t apologize for anything.

[elsweetheart]

Cant stop thinking abt dealer!ellie calling themselves a munch ever since you said it. Could totally see it being brought up in convo at a party or smth

hyperfixating over this rn

shotgun champion.

🎀 ok this was meant to be a little drabble and got out of hand. tw: ellie using the word munch. oh also, use of drugs and alcohol, mentions of dealing, lots and lots of silly dialogue, kind of rambly and domestic, gets a little horny at the end but not too bad. sigh i love dealer!ellie. ok enjoy

going to parties with ellie and your shared friends was always fun. you’d socialise for a little, and then always find eachother again — claiming a little corner to sit in as your own just enjoying eachothers company, drinking and gossiping. dina and jesse were always sure to bring laughter, and you loved being glued to ellie’s side, her attention only being stolen when someone would approach your shared table to buy weed from ellie or exchange details.

“alright, you—” jesse tossed a can her way, ellie nimbly catching it with both hands. “shotgun competition. unless of course you’re scared to lose infront of your girlfriend.” he tempted, raising an eyebrow as you and dina watched in amusement.

ellie glanced at you with a scoff, theatrically jutting a thumb in his direction. “this fuckin’ guy.” she joked lowly before turning back to him. “you’re so on.” she pat her pocket down for her key and jesse did the same.

“alright, williams. go!” the dark haired boy announced as they stabbed a dime sized hole into the can of beer with their keys, before bringing it to their mouths and tipping their head back. jesse’s drink pretty much exploded over his face immediately, making a real mess of himself as dina laughed, rolling her eyes.

“all that talk for nothing.” she shook her head at you and you giggled, but your eyes were on your girlfriend who effortlessly lapped up all the beer with zero mess. jesse stumbled, pulling the can away in defeat, wiping his face with the back of his hand as he laughed. ellie finished the can, chucking it to the ground dramatically and stomping on it. “ohhhh, fuck you.” she roared, sticking two fingers up at jesse before bringing her fist up to her mouth with a pained face, swallowing a burp.

“yeah yeah.” he chuckled shoving her hands away.

“who’s your fuckin’ daddy?” she joked, pretending to punch him in the face. he rolled his eyes, used to her arrogant antics.

“not mine. hers, maybe.” he nodded his head towards you jokingly and you felt yourself flush, stifling a shy giggle as ellie glanced at you with a chuckle. “hey, i don’t know if you know this but your loser girlfriend sits in her room and practices shotgunning just so she can beat me.” jesse nudges you, voice theatrically low as if telling you a secret but loud enough for everyone else to laugh along with the joke.

“okay, fuck you. can a girl not just have a skilled mouth?” she brushed him off, dropping back down into the seat beside you, legs falling open into her ellie-typical manspread. dina fanned herself jokingly, sending you an exaggerated wide eyed look.

“‘think i can guess what ellie’s been practicing on!” she poked your side and your eyes widened in embarrassment, feeling your face turn hot as you giggle.

“oh yeah, i’m definitely a munch. look at her, i’d be fuckin’ off my rocker not to.” she poked your waist, so casually like she didn’t just tell your small group of friends how enthusiastically she eats you out. you didn’t have time to react because her head whipped in the opposite direction. “oh shit, it’s danny!” she grinned, standing up to go and greet one of her most well paying customers. jesse and dina continued bantering back and forth, but you zoned out watching ellie. the way she exuded casual confidence, like she didn’t particularly know or care that she was exuding sex appeal, which made it all the more hotter.

you excused yourself to grab yourself another drink, needing to cool down before you start acting out of pocket and cut the night short to drag ellie back to her dorm and have her eat her words (literally.) you’d stopped to talk to a few girls from one of your classes, giggling and chatting together like you would in the back of the classroom. one of them, taller with her hair in a slick bun shifted on her feet like she wanted to speak up. when she got an in to speak, she took the chance.

“you’re dating ellie right?” she pointed a finger with a pensive frown. you felt a flush of pride wave over you as you nodded.

“yeah, why?”

“i’ve been looking for a new dealer, my old one got locked up.” she chuckled, eyes darting behind you. “is she taking new customers? exam season is killing me i’m totally desperate.” she furrowed her eyebrows anxiously and you turned your head to where she’d glanced, spotting ellie making her way slowly through the crowd towards you but continually being stopped by people making conversation with her. “i’d ask her but she’s kind of intimidating, i don’t know why! don’t tell her i said that.”

you laughed, as it wasn’t the first time you’d heard that and nodded in agreement. “oh my god, of course. let me bring her over.” you turned, standing on your tiptoes to catch your girlfriends attention through her small talk with a party goer, waving her over once you’d caught her eye. she excused herself, eyes flitting across your smiley classmates as she approached. she wrapped her arms around your waist from behind and you wriggled out slightly to present her to them.

“ellie, these are my classmates. one of them was actually hoping she could buy from you…” you look up at her sweetly and her brows raise in surprise for a millisecond before smiling at your small group.

“yeah, for sure. you want it now or do you just want my details… whatever you want.” she addressed the girl who’d stepped up shyly, making it clear she was the new customer.

“i literally have no cash on me right now, would it be cool to maybe get your… number?” her eyes darted to you, self aware of how it might have come across. “or whatever’s cool with you, i can totally just text you.” she spoke to you now and you smiled at her panic, shaking you head reassuringly. ellie chuckled, slightly awkward but polite as ever as she scratched the back of her neck.

“oh my gosh, no go for it. it’s her work phone.” you giggled girlishly, ellie pulling the phone she used to deal out of from her back pocket, handing it over to the girl to put her details in.

“i’ll text you when you can pick up, tomorrow afternoon sound cool?” ellie asked and the girl nodded.

“sure, thanks!” she smiled before turning to you. “thanks!” she repeat before ellie’s arms were back around your waist.

“if you don’t mind, i think i’m going to steal this one.” ellie smiled politely, nodding to the girls and pulling you away as you waved. she weaved you through the drunk bodies, finding your own little corner. you placed your cup down and leant against the wall with a proud grin and she slowly closed in on you, her own charming smile visible. she pulled you close, practically caging you in against the wall.

“well, well, well— my little saleswoman.” she smirked, eyes flitting down to your mouth when you broke into giggles.

“she asked me about it! i wasn’t going around advertising your business or anything.” you shrugged humbly and she hummed with a nod.

“don’t believe you. i know you’re hiding a billboard with a picture of me on it somewhere, i’m onto you.” she joked, hands sliding back around your waist.

“please, word of mouth is everything these days.” you match her teasing energy, letting her pull your hips flush against yours making something stir in you below, reminding you of her little comment earlier. “speaking of mouth…” you gazed at hers, faces close and her eyebrows raised cockily.

“is it that time already, babe?” you could feel her warm breath on your face, and you could have sworn she had pushed her thigh ever so slightly between your legs.

“its always that time, munch.” you joked, making her laugh at the word leaving your mouth.

“what, don’t tell me you don’t think i qualify for such title.” she tilt her head, eyes flicking repeatedly to your lips as if beg for a kiss.

“no comment. think i might need a reminder…” you bat your lashes at her, eyes heavy from the horny creeping in and the alcohol in your system. she latched her smirking lips to yours impatiently, hands squeezing your waist keeping your pressed right to her.

ellie pulled back a few centimetres. “that, i can do.” she promised, kissing you again a few times before pulling back with a playful and suggestive expression. “wanna get out of here?”

“i thought you’d never ask.”

[darlingdarkly]

New Year, New You Part 2

Johnny “Soap” MacTavish x f!reader

Personal Trainer AU

Just over 3.5k words

CW: dubcon!, dark fic, dark content, obsessive behavior, dirty talk, explicit language, E rated, 18+, mature themes

Part 1, 3

You enter the building, it’s noisy and busy in the lobby. Coming up to the kiosk you sign in and a new bracelet is spit out at you. You put it around your wrist and step past the lobby and further into the building. Sitting alone at a table in the smoothie alcove is Johnny and when he sees you his face lights up. You told yourself the night before, somewhere between coming down from your Johnny fueled orgasm and the drifts of your dreams that the first day was a fluke.

They’re all trained like this, to seem super bubbly and interested in you. It’s a ploy, a sales tactic, it’s to get you back in the door, have you pay that membership fee so you’ll be the center of attention of this super attractive, highly magnetizing flytrap. If you were a man there’d be an extremely fit, ultra flirty woman counterpart to come over and hyperfixate on you until you caved and bought a membership for the hopes of getting your hands in that tight little sports bra and the gym raked in another sucker.

They probably pay them extra too, some kind of bonus or sales commission for the trainer who racked up the most membership fees that month. Johnny was just trying to meet his quota and you were fresh meat. You ignored the empty pit that had formed at the center of your chest with this epiphany and told yourself you weren’t even mad about it. It was a ruse, clear and simple but what they didn’t know was that they weren’t gonna make a sucker out of you, that was for sure.

If Johnny was gonna use you, so be it. The joke was on him, he’s gonna put all this time into you and when your two weeks were up you’d be gone. The first thing he said to you was “Homework?” With his hand out, like there was some physical object you were meant to place in his hand. You were pretty sure he had given you a few sets of exercises to do, physical activities. Not paperwork. “Yeah, I did it.”

He looked up at you, head tilted like a dog. “Proof.” You laughed, a trill little nervous sound. What could you possibly have to be nervous about? Pleasing him? Being in some sort of trouble with this man you just met yesterday? But you couldn’t exactly shake the feeling. “I… I don’t.. have proof. But I did it.”

He sighs and gestures for you to sit down. You pull the chair out and sit across from him and he leans forward muscular arms on display as they rest across the tabletop. “I’ll let it go this time, since ye didn’t know but when I assign ye homework I expect proof.” You take your gym bag strap off your shoulder and set it down beside you. “Proof like a log book? Or something?”

The grin that grows on his face is gorgeous but condescending. “Can cheat a log book can’t ya hen? No. I need video evidence.” Your jaw drops a little. “You want me to videotape it?” He nods and smiles. You consider this, it’s a little strange, but you guess you can do that, prop your phone up and videotape your evening workout assignments. “Ok.”

He sits back in his chair and you relax. You go to get up and he adds. “One more thing, hen.” You stop and sit back down in the chair. “Got a few questions before we start today and I want ye tae be as honest as ye can. Can ye do that fer me?” This sets you a bit on edge but you nod in agreement.

The questions start out basic and non intrusive. Have you ever worked out before? Ever worked with a personal trainer before? Then they grow a bit more personal. What kind of home do you live in? Do you have any family living with you? A boyfriend or husband? Roommates? You answer them slowly but honestly.

Then the questions take on a more medical standpoint. Do you have any allergies? Any health problems he should know about? Are you on birth control or IUD? Are you sexually active? You look around to see if anyone is paying attention to your conversation but it seems not to be the case. Your mind is trying to process an answer to that last question but before you even can he looks up from where he’s been recording your answers in his phone and asks “When’s the last time you orgasmed?”

You're dead quiet. Did he just ask you that? Your ears must be deceiving you. “I’m sorry?” He doesn’t even smile, just asks you again. “Orgasm. When was your last orgasm.” You cough at the utter vulgarity of it. “None of your business.” He chides you, like you’re a child. “Nothing to be ashamed of, lass. I’m yer personal trainer.” He says it like it holds the same weight as being your physician.

When you still don't answer he begins to explain. “Yer body lass, is a very particular beast. It needs balance. A very carefully curated balance of nutrition, regular exercise, mental and emotional inputs, creative and productive outlets, and a series of stress and tension releases, among other things. As yer personal trainer it is my job tae make sure yer body is in balance and yer living as healthy and fit as I possibly can. Yer sexual health is as important as yer mental and physical health, and I’d even go as far as to argue it’s an integral part of an adult’s mental well-being and stability. We’re both adults here lass, so I’ll ask ye again. When’s the last time you had some real resease?”

Your mouth is dry, and as you sat there and listened to him you felt a little ashamed of yourself, thinking he was being lewd by asking you these, on the surface, seemingly crass questions when in reality he was just doing his job. Trying to be to the best of his ability as attentive to your needs and as thorough at his job as he could. You felt suddenly compelled to apologize for being perhaps rash and accusatory, jumping too quickly to conclusions.

Your next instinctual thought is the one you jump on, pure honesty and your cheeks flare with heat as you say it. “Last night.” And while you had been honest to try and save some sort of face you come to immediately regret your decision as the professional, serious demeanor he’d donned to pry the answer from your lips drops. His eyes are shiny devious lights, lips turning upwards at the very corners, bright white predatory teeth flashing at you from the parted lips, wolfish in their grin. He leans forward and you feel your heart beating louder in your chest as his eyes hold yours, locked and daring, his hands disappear from the tabletop.

When he speaks next his voice is fundamentally different, almost like you’re speaking to a different man. His voice is gruff, tone a whole octave lower as he growls out from his chest in a voice just loud enough to float to your ears. “Dirty girl. What were ye thinking about hmm? Did ye think about me while ye touched that pretty little pussy?” He must see the way you feel reflected across your features because his eyes darken and he continues on.

“Aye. It was me wasn’t it. What’d ye think about me doin’ tae ye. Did ye think about mah fat cock in that tight little cunt? Bendin’ ye over and sliding in til’ I’m buried to the hilt?” You felt the palm of his hand glide up over the curve of your knee, his fingers wrapping around the width of your lower thighs as they snaked up your leg while he poured filth into your ears.

“Or did I have ye on yer back, legs spread nice and wide while I feasted in the valley of yer thighs til’ yer eyes rolled back and ye were scremin’ mah name tae the heavens?” Your jaw dropped of its own accord and he smirked, fingers squeezing the meat of your leg as he held you captive with his eyes.

“Aye that’s it then.” Your mouth closes and opens like a gaping fish as you try to get a grip of the situation and stutter some kind of refusal. Some kind of response that will make you regain control of the conversation but the sudden change of direction, the pure whiplash of it puts you at a loss for words. All you seem capable of doing is yammering out meaningless syllables and the starts of words. “You- I didn’t- Wait-“

But he’s not done and he silences you as his fingers brush the hem of your sweats. The shudder that runs up your spine is violent and makes you twist in your seat, unintentionally bucking into his touch.

“Nothin’ tae be ashamed of hen, I thought of ye too last night. Fist wrapped around mah cock as I thought of that sweet wet little gob of yers. How pretty ye’d look on all fours fer me. We’re gonna have a lot of fun, me n’ you.”

With that he stands, hand removed from your leg and you didn’t miss him quickly adjusting the growing tent in his gym shorts as he rose. He leans over the table and your head cranes back as he leans in close. “Go get changed. I’ll see ye in the gym, it’s time for our first session.”

You finally manage to collect yourself in the girls locker room. Luckily it’s mostly empty as you slide your sweats off to find your panties ruined. How had it gone so sideways? You came in determined to outplay him and instead you find yourself wet and hanging onto every single one of his words like some kind of filthy slut. That’s the only word for it, you feel like a filthy little slut. Just the pure audacity of him, to speak to you in the most vile and shameless way, had you soaked.

It was the thought of him, thick cock in hand, stroking it with slow languid strokes as he dreams of you on his knees in front him, your hand replacing his, the look of pure ecstasy in his eyes as he watches you take him down your throat for the first time, bobbing your head up and down his- STOP. This is not helping. This is exactly what he wants. But it doesn’t make it easy to push the fantasy from the forefront of your mind (because actually getting yourself to stop imagining it is impossible).

You finish dressing, zip up your gym bag, place it in the locker and leave as you watch the red light replace the green. He’s waiting for you in the open gym by the free weights and when he sees you there’s a content little smile on his face, like he wasn’t just wrecking your entire train of thought with nothing more than dirty words and a hand trialing up your thigh minutes ago.

You get the first word in, you know it’s the only way you’ll be able to control the conversation, if he speaks your whole argument may crumble to dust before you’ve gotten your point across. “We need to set some boundaries. You can’t just speak to me that way. It’s inappropriate and unprofessional and I won’t stand for it.”

To your surprise he just smiles and agrees, which deflates your sails completely. But you showing up after yesterday and staying for the session even after the “inappropriate and unprofessional” talk when you arrived was all he really needed to know. He’ll let you tire yourself out like a horse with bit in its mouth for the first time. Wild horses must be broken.

“If we’re going to do this then I want you to treat me with respect and decency. Do we have an agreement?” He stands there with his arms crossed over his chest and a neutral expression on his face, and the pause he leaves between your demands and his answer makes you feel a little like a child throwing a tantrum. “Aye, lass. I’ll treat ye with all the decency and respect ye deserve. Are ye ready to get started now?”

You nod and he motions you over to a matted area of the room, free of weights and other objects so you can stretch. Something you think would go like him demonstrating and then you imitating while giving you verbal pointers, but no. It actually means he shows you once and then makes you imitate it and if it’s not exactly how he did it he comes over to you and rearranges you.

Hands all over your body pushing down on your lower back for proper push-ups, hands gliding up your legs all the way to the undersides of your ass cheeks to straighten your legs for proper toe touches, he’s sitting on your feet for your sits ups, claiming your feet are wobbling too much, leans in way too far while you’re coming up so you’re face to face when you do and you catch him several times staring at your lips, his own slightly parted, even having to tell him you’ve done your last set of ten when he was supposed to be keeping count.

When you’ve finished what he calls your warm up he explains the next steps in a proper session. “I wanna work on yer flexibility. We’re gonna have ye doin’ full on splits by the time done with ye.” And he’s smiling and laughing like it’s some sort of secret joke between the two of you.

You sit on the mat, legs spread out before you in a comfortable V. Slowly he begins to spread your legs wider and wider. They come to a natural stop and he gets between them, using those toned strong arms to push past their limitations. Your brow furrows as the burn in your hips intensifies. “Johnny, s’too much.” But he keeps going, pushing on your inner calves, stretching them wider. You roll onto your back and think that he’ll stop but he doesn’t, just climbs over top of you and continues to push. His crotch presses up against yours as he continues to split you. “Johnny!”

“Just a wee bit more, lass. You can do it. Doin’ so good fer me.” And you hate the way the praise sinks into your skin and soothes you. He’s stopped pushing, just holds your legs at this shockingly obtuse angle you never knew you were capable of achieving. You’re whining and whimpering, the ache and burn of your legs fills your mind, all encompassing and excruciating, you can feel tears forming at your waterline, threatening to spill. “Johnny, please!” And he finally relents, slowly releasing the tension on your thighs until you’re breathing heavily and lying limp.

You have time later, at home in bed recounting the events of the day, to imagine the absolutely scandalous sight the pair of you must have made. Your back on the mat, Johnny practically mounting you on the floor of the open gym as he spreads your legs wider and wider while you whimper and whine as cries of his name and “it’s too much” fall from your lips. It’s enough to make your face heat with embarrassment but also make you extremely wet.

He doesn’t move, still slotted obscenely in the space between your thighs, your legs wrapped loosely around his waist as he rubs soothing circles into your hips. The burn in your legs is slowly ebbing to a dull throb and as you lie there you wonder just what you’ve gotten yourself into but he doesn’t let you marinate in your thoughts for long as he rises and extends a hand to help you up.

What follows is him shuffling you around to numerous machines you’d have been too shy and un-knowledgeable about to try on your own, instructing you how to properly use them, the muscle groups they worked on, and setting your weights and reps for. He was very adamant about the rule of three. For the first session it was important to establish a baseline to follow, a minimum amount of each exercise that you were fully capable of carrying out. You could push your limits later but for now he wanted at least three sets of each activity.

And through it all you found that you were actually learning a fair amount about exercising that before seemed daunting and out of reach. You thought that maybe, with his help, you’d actually be able to accomplish some real tangible goals, results you could see. He finished off where the whole journey began, you on the treadmill, he set you off on a jog and spoke to you as you began to move.

“I’ve got some things tae handle, hen. I want ye tae try and keep jogging the whole time I’m gone. Do ye think ye can do that fer me?” You nod, and he walks up to the side of the machine, standing there until you look over and catch his piercing blue eyes. “Yer not just cheating yerself when you slack off, yer cheating me as well and trust me I’ll ken if ye do. I always get what I’m owed, bonnie.”

The threat in his tone chills you but he smiles as he says it and you wonder just what sort of consequences might come with a thing like that. You decide then that you’re not quite ready to find out and with that he leaves you to it.

He’s not gone long. Ten minutes tops and while you’re tired and had slowed to a lighter jog at times you know you had done as he asked and was sort of glad with what you’d been able to manage. He gets you to stop and congratulates you on a fine first session. Even pulls you in for a hug, despite the sweat that’s collected on your skin. It's longer than you’d have liked but at least he’s not outwardly groping you.

He takes you down to the smoothie alcove, orders you a smoothie and has you sit down. You take his offer immediately, glad to be momentarily off your feet. He brings you your drink and lifts one of your legs, unlacing your sneaker and pulling your sock off. “Johnny what are you doing?” He placed your shoe and sock on the floor by your chair and begins rubbing your foot. “Dinnae want ye tae be too sore to workout tomorrow. The first session can be very taxing on the body. Build up of lactic acid in yer muscles and ye’ll be cryin’ tae me tomorrow about why ye cannae come in. Cannae have that now can we?”

You sit forward as much as you can with your foot in his hand. “Actually I need to talk to you about that, I can’t come in tomorrow, I’ve got a huge work thing and I’ll be staying late to help prep the presentation for it.” He hums and switches feet, getting your sock and shoe off before he answers. “Ye can still do yer homework and send it in, I’ll give ye my number. I wanna see the same thing ye did last night on video this time and I wanna see ye practice yer stretches, ye ken?”

You nod in understanding and he begins working up your leg towards your calves, you bite back a moan at the painful but magical sensation. “And I wanna know about these things ahead of time. I’m a flexible man bonnie but I need tae fit these kinds of changes in yer schedule in advance.” You say you understand and even thank him for being so understanding, which brings a huge cheeky grin to his face.

He gets behind you and massages your shoulders as you finish your drink and the feeling of his warm hands on your shoulders and back have you on an erotic edge that you feel uncomfortable with in such an open setting. You quickly finish the last of the smoothie and rise from your seat. After you’ve said your goodbyes and he’d given you a card with his number on it you head for the locker room and begin undressing. You unlock your locker to find your gym bag unzipped and open.

It gives you pause, you’re almost certain you did not leave it this way, you’ve always had the habit of rezipping your gym bag after changing. You quickly rummage through it but find nothing missing. Phone, keys, wallet. Everything was there. You shake it off and label it as a mistake. You must have left it unzipped when you were changing and still flustered from your first little chat. Swinging the bag over your shoulder you leave the locker room and head home, waving to Johnny on your way out the door.

[sirenologyyy]

MODERN ATWOW BAND HEADCANONS !

✹ summary : in which i'm slowly crawling back to my avatar hyperfixation and i decided to make a band au!except I'm right (or not take this with a grain of salt hehe) and I frl can't see them playing any other roles

✹ author's note : let this not flop in eywa we pray 🙏 and yes, Daisy Jones and the Six is my favorite book, how did you guess?

✹ warnings : mentions of bleeding, scabs, swearing obv

It all started one balmy afternoon when Lo'ak and Spider were blowing off their biochemistry homework lying down on the floor staring at the cieling fan undeviatingly oscillate above them. Then, Lo'ak suddenly sits up from his spot causing Spider to look at him.

"What's up?" Asked Spider.

Lo'ak looks at him, a newfound determination in his wide eyes. "Dude, what if we start a band."

Spider frowns. "A band?"

"No, but hear me out for a second." says Lo'ak bristling in his spot as Spider sits up.

Although wary, Spider hums. "Alright."

"Think about it, school's almost over, we barely know anybody in this town, are we seriously gunna hangout in the beach all summer trying to make friends?"

Spider chuckles. "I think I'm missing the point where that's a bad idea."

"Spider, come on bro- look at us, we're losers alright? We're practically throwaway fish to the kids at school- but if we start a band, who knows how many people'll wanna be a part of it, we'll score a couple of life long friends AND it'll be our one solid excuse not to be at home" Lo'ak's riposte was proving to make sense, with a toothy smile to cap it off, but of course Spider- considering he was two years Lo'ak's senior had to pop his bubble with the pragmatic pin of reality.

"I don't know dude, it sounds kinda lame." Spider replies hesitantly, propping himself up by his elbows. "We've been trying to start a band since 7th grade, we always end up calling it quits on the 3rd week."

"This time it'll be different."

Spider scoffs. "Uh-huh? How "

Lo'ak nudges his right shoulder upwards. "We'll ask Neteyam to help."

Spider shoots him yet another look. "If he doesn't want to help?"

"We make do," Lo'ak shrugs. "What's wrong with a two man band?"

"Almost everything." Spider snorts.

★ lo'ak ──────── electric guitar

when they used to live back in high camp, he found an old silvertone in their attic that used to belong to jake during his marine days along with scores of 70's rock bands' songs on yellowing paper fraying at the edges and folds.

He spent 3 months learning a song with 4 chords by ear and performed it at the school talent show

When he got into 6th grade he did not only beg, for an electric guitar he GROVELED. He suddenly wanted to do all the chores in the house, he suddenly got C's instead of D's in tests, it was terrifying because who the hell WAS this and what did they do to the real Lo'ak???

Jake and Neytiri didn't give him one until he was 13. Jake just picked him up from school one day and all of a sudden just asked: you wanna get that electric guitar?

LO'AK WAS OVER THE GODDAMN MOON.

got a classic red stratocaster.

The first song he ever learned to play on the guitar was buddy holly by weezer...

Come on you guys what were you expecting

likes picking at his finger scabs and does it until neteyam or tsireya tells him off.

has multiple guitar picks but always uses this specific one he made into a necklace and wears it everywhere.

THEN PROCEEDS TO LOSE SAID GUITAR PICKS

tuk keeps hiding them around the house waiting for lo'ak to lose his mind.

he can play any song by ear, just watch.

plays around with riffs more often than not.

★ neteyam ──────── back up vocalist / lyricist

never even wanted to join the band but was bullied into joining (kiri joined when he said he wouldn't just to spite him)

has perfect pitch (are we surprised though)

YOU'D SNEEZE AND BITCH ASS CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT NOTE IT'S AT.

uses it to nitpick Lo'ak when he's straying from the original pitch.

lo'ak will then threaten to cave his face in with his capo.

his favorite artists are frank ocean and kendrick lamar.

no one in his entire school woulda guessed he could sing. Nobody.

was made to sing in family events... (iykyk)

loves musicals. his favorite's Hamilton...

Jake and Neytiri took him to see Hamilton once in New York when he was 11, he's never been the same since.

HAS MAJOR FUCKING STAGE FRIGHT I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. HE WILL NOT GO ON STAGE UNTIL YOU SMACK HIM IN THE HEAD SO HARD HIS BRAIN RESETS AND SUDDENLY HAS THE BALLS TO FACE THE AUDIENCE.

Once he's out there though he totally changes, he gets more confident, when he's really feeling it then his braids start flying everywhere... it's becoming an issue really, he might take someone's eye out with how solid his hair beads are...

hurled his guts out one time before they had to perform at the end of year school fair.

★ kiri ──────── pianist

there are always four types of gays. English Teacher Gays, Art Teacher Gays, History Teacher Gays, and Music Teacher Gays.

Kiri was definitely the last one.

lo'ak got her a shirt that says "key master" with her face horribly photoshopped onto the keys of a piano.

she burned it the night she got it.

til this day lo'ak never knew what happened to it.

Suki Waterhouse as Karen Sirko in the DJATS live action? Brain chemistry = altered

Stevie Nick's and Lindsey Buckingham's performance of Silver Spring in Fleetwood Mac's Reunion concern in 1997? = Roman Empire.

was in the school choir and would play the piano in their choir director's stead.

has been playing the piano for 9 years but always gets confused when asked to play a flat or a sharp (it takes her 4 tries to figure out where C minor is)

her favorite piece to play is over the waves by juventino rosas.

when she wants to show jake a new piece she's been working on, by the first minute he's out like a fucking light. SHE'S JUST THAT GOOD.

also when she wants to play a piece with too many chords she never wanted to play it in the first place.

once she messes up she's definitely one of those people who spams the keys.

one time when she was playing a piece her fingers cramped mid-song and she freaked out.

★ spider ──────── drums

his dad's military friends taught him how to play the drums.

lo'ak dared him he couldn't do a drumroll for an hour.

spider did it in two and a half but stopped cuz he got hungry LMAO.

impresses kiri with various drumstick spins, it dosen't impress her.

practically worshipped that one vine of those two kids.

was definitely one of those kids that played with overturned pots and pans and pretended it was a drum set (it annoyed the hell outta norm)

once lost his drum sticks and used chopsticks (ps. they weren't the same)

scribbled their band logo on his bass drum and was very proud of it.

INSISTED they would call themselves "the seven skxawngs"

nobody listened to him.

when they held auditions for their drummer he went "You guys know I can play the drums right?"

has never watched whiplash.

uploads drum covers on his tiktok account with 70 followers.

makes dumb jokes if the others can't figure out a certain chord or note he'd go "guys maybe it's at H!"

the most chillest person in the band though frl.

somehow always manages to pull??? The amount of game this man has solely just because he's the drummer is wild.

they once performed at an event with 50 people and Spider was wearing addidas slides the entire time and nobody noticed.

★ tsireya ──────── main vocals/lyricist

When I tell you this kid can SING SHE CAN SING.

frl the real life ariel I swear evrrytime she opens her mouth everyone's wishing on her downfall because she's such a talented singer, her vibratro is so measured, her runs are so clean, she's just so UGHHHH.

is such a theatre kid oh Lord.

was made to sing at family events too (it's practically a canon event atp guys.)

has a special journal where she writes her song lyrics that she takes with her everywhere (give her 5 minutes and she can write a song with just her hand as paper and eyeliner as a pen.)

joined in singing competitions when she was a kid and when she was 10 joined a televised singing competition and managed to make it to the semi-finals.

it's why she's the lead singer of the band anyway.

she always has pearls threaded into her hair every time they perform and it's been her signature look ever since.

her voice is fucking angelic ya'll istg.

is a soprano. enough said.

is amazing at reading sheet music.

she and neteyam wrote 3 original songs that the band performs everytime they get a gig.

aside from singing she can play piano and violin too.

she's a fucking wordsmith too like she's so eloquent and knows all these big words and she's good at expressing her pent up emotions through songwriting.

the literal it girl. Everyone in their band gained more popularity ever since they opened for a popular band from L.A. but everyone in their high-school knows her name. Everyone.

her vocal control is amazing.

she really knows how to liven up a crowd.

★ aonung ──────── rhythm guitar

has been playing guitar since he was 7.

took up guitaring because his dad introduced him and tsireya to playing instruments at a young age.

collects guitar straps.

neteyam's always on his ass about if what he's playing sounds right or not (50% of the time he's not)

it isn't practice without neteyam and aonung almost throwing hands at least thrice.

almost always smokes while practicing.

oddly enough only has one guitar pick and he hasn't lost it yet unlike lo'ak who buys new guitar picks every other month.

obsessed with black nailpolish, you won't see him go on stage without black nails istg.

he didn't even audition for the band. He was just always there at the Sully residence to pick Tsireya up from practice until one day Tsireya told him to come inside the house, when he did he finds out they needed someone for rhythm guitar and that Tsireya let it slip that Aonung knew how to play.

he's been a part of the band ever since.

he's just incredibly good with his fingers, enough said.

after the first time they performed their first gig at some girl's house party, he, rotxo, and lo'ak got high on the rooftop of Aonung's house (yk until Lo'ak slipped and started dangling from the gutters and fell into the pool)

his outfits always eat every time they perform.

james hetfield the goat.

always experimenting with new riffs and runs and adds them to the songs mid-performance and without any warning (just to piss neteyam off)

★ rotxo ──────── bass guitar

the glue and heart of the band frl.

the sweetest basist you'll ever meet.

his family actually owns a popular guitar shop in Awa'atlu, he first started playing the guitar at the ripe age of 5.

Bro is a prodigy but dosen't want to admit it.

aonung bought his first guitar at rotxo's family's shop, they hit it off ever since.

Always brings his baked goods to practices (then kiri devours the entire tray when you aren't looking)

actually fucked up his audition for the band but then Lo'ak found him sobbing in a janitors closet and gave him a second shot at an audition with just Lo'ak and Spider and he was able to redeem himself.

(really only auditioned cuz he played bass, they were finding a bassist, and not because kiri sully was their pianist)

is an introvert but he's so fucking funny that you wouldn't suspect it.

can perform riffs in his sleep (no he actually does though it freaks aonung out when he spends the night in his place.)

kiri made him a resin guitar pick with fragments of coral from the beach when they had their first date.

has a "maturing is realizing bass is the superior instrument" tshirt.

one time wore finger condoms so his scabs wouldn't re-open and bleed all over his guitar 😔

loves playing deftones on the bass.

has chronic "guitar face"

[shuuen-no-cimory]

Also of course, it ain't me if I don't crossover my current hyperfixation with my ultimate current hyperfixation. So... Degrees of Lewdity x ProjectMoon! (This post is full of me yapping as I explain each drawing, so I guess, be ready?)

First, I'll go hard with Whitney as R Corp. 4th Rabbit Team. The initial idea was that he reminds me so much of RHeath LMAO But eventually I love the idea because I think he'd go along with Myo well. Plus... Somehow imagining Whitney in Rabbit Team Hatchery shenanigans seems... Interesting.

Next is Eden. If anyone notice, I originally designed him based of 2 Abnos: Der Freischutz and Big Bird. Der Frei was, of course, a nod to his title as a Hunter, and a marksman as well. For Big Bird... Yeah definitely there's the Big Bird in DoL, yet I think temperance-wise, Eden does felt similar to Big Bird. A creature living in a forest, thinking they protect others by doing the action that definitely doesn't seems to be out of protection. As for RRH, oh think about this: Being hunted down while getting marked. One by a hunter, and another by a wolf. Oh isn't it just reminds me of something...? Right

Funny enough, before I designed the school LIs properly, I reimagined them as The City's feathers. "If they're living in the City and has to work with one Wing, which one they'll work on?" I've talked about R. Corp Whitney earlier so I'll talk about the others! Robin, L Corp. - I can imagine him with the pressing needs to survive under the weight of Bailey's rent ends up either being sent or signed himself up as an agent for L Corp. The Wing doesn't ask that much requirement as per Hokmah's story while the agent supposed to have a great pay (being a wing and all). Hence, I think he might work for L Corp. Sydney, K Corp. - The idea was that after graduating, Sydney might follow Sirris path in science. Being the obedient child she is (as we sees on the game before they get corrupted), she probably choose to do what Sirris might do hence her as K Corp. researcher. Oh anyway, truly this is just a fyi that doesn't seems to be related to anything, I reimagined Harper as Dongrang in this scenario, with the whole Teary-Thing problem exist. Oh, lucky enough for Sydney to help producing K Ampule that definitely just as seen in the canon Limbus story. Just saying. Kylar, W Corp. - This one actually a rather fun idea. This is set with the idea that Kylar work as the Clean Up Member, with parents that's definitely unaware with how their child work but nevertheless proud with him. They'd even use WARP Train solely to be sent off by Kylar each time, much to Kylar silent dismay. If only they know what Kylar has to clean up among the 6 seconds they went into the train... Read one of the reblog tag and yeah. It has to do with Love Town. And pretty much how Kylar had to regularly assemble his parents again and again each trip they made.

LCB! SYDNEY LET'S GOOOO!!!! This idea came as I made my LCB-esque ID Card for Sydney. The idea of LCB Sydney's background was that it's pretty much what happened in the game, but make it The City-esque and seen from Sydney's eyes. It's fun imagining her as a Dieci Fixer who was caught in a complicated issue which she rather dip out from as she hasn't fully grow the backbone to face it yet. Oh right, in this AU I reimagined Ivory as Abnormality and both Sydney and Kylar got their EGO. Sydney got their Longing Phase EGO (HE, Gloom) while Kylar got the Haunting Phase EGO (WAW, Wrath). I actually had a draft of how the EGO works and its gimmick but let's talk it later on lol

When Yield My Flesh event is up on Limbus, my head doing the funny by thinking, "Damn... Jun Wren sounds cool..." then I remember Tingtang exist like jfgdjfgbjd HE FITS BETTER AS TINGTANG WHY DIDN'T I THINK ABOUT IT ON A SIDE NOTE, I also had the thought on how Bailey MIGHT kills it as either a Kurokumo or a Middle. After all, Middle never forget... Just like how Bailey never forget your rent LOL

And last but not least: Sydney and Robin as L Corp. Agent! Robin will be a high Temperance agent which work for Safety Team, while Sydney is the high Fortitude, high Prudence Disciplinary Team Captain. Oh, if you do notice: I made Sydney's cross looks like Penitence EGO Weapon. It's actually based of this idea of how One Sin and WhiteNight's dynamic thematically fits Sydney the Faithful and Sydney the Fallen. The name of both Abnos' EGO Set-- "Penitence" and "Paradise Lost" respectively, both fits the image of each Sydneys. Hence, I draw them in both EGO Sets!

[pikolswonderland]

You are an inquirer, just like me!

Well folks it’s time for another round of “Guess who is the bitch who got obsessed with a ship and is in hyperfixation hell?”

It’s me, I’m the bitch.

[homeslices]

I’m Sorry

A/N: Guess who’s backkk. Sorry for taking so long again, school has been stressing me out. Also my newest hyperfixation is The Last of Us (naturally) and so I’ve decided I want to write for it tooooo. I am still writing for Alice in Borderland but writer's block kinda hit me with that (I’ll be up and writing for it soon and I have all of your requests already in mind). I realized there was very little Ellie x a maternal figure fics and decided I needed to change that.

Summary: A little pre-apocalypse the rest post-apocalypse, you comfort Ellie when she has a nightmare. Ellie may be a little ooc but I tried my best.

Pairings: platonic!Ellie Williams x motherfigure!reader, Joel Miller x wife!reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Spoilers for season 1, mention of Sarah’s death, David, mentions of attempted SA

You have always wanted children, wanted to be a mother.

And you got that chance once before in what feels like another life.

You’re step-daughter Sarah, who you helped raise and thought of as your own, was the light of your life.

You, having recently moved to a new neighborhood, couldn’t help notice your neighbor struggling to take care of his baby daughter by himself. You could tell he was running on little to no sleep and when he about had a fit trying, and ultimately failing, to put in a car seat into the back of his truck you finally stepped in and helped him.

All of the pieces soon fell together afterward. You helped him when he needed it, babysitting Sarah when he was about to collapse from sleep deprivation, teaching him how to put in a car seat correctly, and bringing over dinner when you could tell he had a long day at work. Similarly, Joel also lent you a hand when needed as well. Fixing your car when it wouldn’t turn on, helping repair your new house, and also listing that same house when you fell in love and moved into his home with his daughter. That same daughter whose second word was mama- dada obviously being the first.

The day that Joel proposed to you was the same day that Sarah asked you to be her mom officially, by adopting her. Your wedding was when you all decided to sign the adoption papers, and you legally became not only a wife, but a mom as well.

Life was blissful. You had the family you always wanted and were the happiest you could ever be.

But then the world ended, literally.

The day of the apocalypse officially starting, was the same day that a piece of you died inside.

Your daughter died in Joel and your arms that night terrified, calling out for you and her father to make the pain stop.

It changed the both of you.

The person that brought you both together, was now gone, and all that you could do now was hold on to each other.

So when your friend Tess, your husband and you went to see Robert about the car battery, you were also roped into smuggling a young girl to another firefly base across the country.

You tried to keep her at an arm's length. Ellie reminded you so much of your Sarah, the humor, the attitude, the persistence, and you didn’t know if you got close to her and she suffered the same fate as your daughter, that you would be able to recover again.

But somehow, Ellie wormed her way into your heart, and there was no going back now. You love that girl, just as you love Sarah, and the maternal urge to protect her from any harm overwhelmed you.

So when you found out that you weren’t able to protect her from a twisted individual that wanted to do something worse than kill Ellie, it made you see something more violent than red. You could’ve burned the world down with your rage, and honestly you still could.

You blamed yourself in all honesty. Because both Joel and you were injured, Ellie wanted to protect the pair of you. In doing so she got captured and not knowing where she was, you and Joel found her only after she walked out of a burning building, covered in that monster’s blood.

As you take watch a few weeks later, your attention snaps over to Ellie as she mumbles in her sleep. You’ve been more hyperfocused on her ever since him, making a promise to both her, and yourself, that you’d never let anything like that happen again.

With a sign, you return your attention to the darkness surrounding you and the people you care about. Joel was sleeping next to you, still recovering from his injury, and Ellie was on the other side, moving and muttering every once and a while.

However, the sudden jerk of Ellie and the distressed scream she let out in her sleep immediately made you jump in surprise and scramble towards her.

Her eyes were screwed shut, eyebrows were furrowed, and her breaths were coming out in hard pants. She was terrified, you could tell, and the second her mouth parts again to let out another petrified cry you firmly, but gently, try to shake her awake.

“Ellie,” you say in a low tone. “Wake up, it’s just a dream.”

Her eyes immediately fly open, and out of fear and what seemed to be the cloud of sleep plus the threat of her nightmare still hanging over her, she flips open her knife that she recently started to sleep with and slashes it blindly towards your hand.

Realizing your mistake, you quickly pull your arm away, but not before a gash forms on your hand drawing a hiss from you.

Ellie’s eyes were no longer affected by sleep and panic, but now were filled with horror at her actions.

“I-” she chokes. “I-I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to-”

You cut off her apologizes with a gentle hush.

“Ellie it’s okay, it was an accident.”

Moving slowly, like you would with a wounded animal, you gently remove the knife from her grip, then hold her hands in your own- albeit after you wiped the blood from your hand on your pants.

“Are you alright?” You ask, scooting closer to her not in a hovering manner but more so she knows you’re there mentally, emotionally, and physically.

“I’m the one who should be asking you that. I hurt you, almost stabbed you! What kind of sick-”

You interrupt the young girl off once again.

“Ellie it was my fault I shouldn’t have woken you up like that.”

She doesn’t reply to that, instead her eyes were focused on your still bleeding hand.

“It’s not bad at all, just a flesh wound,” you try to comfort her. “Doesn’t even need stitches.”

Ellie looks away from you, however, you could hear her mumble, “but it could’ve been,” in reply to your first statement.

Raising your uninjured hand, making sure it’s in Ellie’s line of sight so she doesn’t get startled, you comfortingly rub her arm. Her body seems to relax from her tense state slightly, shoulders drooping as proof.

“I’m sorry,” she says once again, voice small and eyes glassy.

Ellie was emotionally stubborn, similar to your husband, and seeing her like this broke you. You have only seen the girl in this vulnerable position a handful of times before, and it always made you want to hold her close and never let go.

“Ellie listen to me,” You make eye contact with her, just so she can truly understand what you’re about to say. “That was not your fault. You had a nightmare and I startled you.”

You pause for a second trying to figure out how to word the next part of your reassurance.

So with a gentle voice you finally start speaking again.

“I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure nothing like that ever happens to you again and-” your voice cracks with emotion. “I’m so sorry Ellie. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t able to stop him, and I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there for you when you needed me the most.”

Her eyes that were previously glasses were now overflowing and falling down her face.

Then, in a blink of an eye, the young girl that you’ve grown to love like another daughter, crashes against you. Her face pressed against your left shoulder and her arms wrapped around you tightly as if you would make her let go. Not a chance in hell you would.

Your arms surrounded her and at this point, her body was shaking due to her tears.

Soon you heard Ellie’s muffled, shaky voice speak out.

“It wasn't your fault. It was never your fault.”

At that point your tears were falling down your face as well. Gently, you rub your hand in comforting circles on her back and sway the both of you back and forth.

Ellie’s shaking soon died down. It took some time but exhaustion finally hit her, so now she was fast asleep in your arms, snoring softly.

You let out a watery chuckle, emotions still running high, as you continued watch with Ellie in your arms.

The sun soon rises a few hours later. Joel’s eyes flicked open ready to wake up and start the day’s journey. Nevertheless by doing so, he was met with the familiar sight of his wife holding a sleeping young girl, eyes focused towards the sun in the distance, and couldn’t help the small smile that crossed over his face.

Both Joel’s and your thoughts were very similar at that moment.

You’d both do anything to keep your family safe.

[fountainpenguin]

Riddle watches New Wish - Post #30

The Battle of Big Wand

Part 4 of reacting to this episode (spoiler-free)!

I LOVE that we get to see so much of Foop's spindly fingers in this episode. The way he wiggled his fingers was one of my favorite body language quirks back in the OG series. He's the same person...

Uh-oh... Dev's starting to have second thoughts now that people are getting hurt... And Irep doesn't like it...

I think it's REALLY funny that Irep's hair looks blue when he's in good lightning and black when he's in dim lighting. Not sure if that was intentional to mimic both his parents' hair and his old curl, but that's super clever if it was.

/record scratch. "So, you're probably wondering how we got here."

Irep remembering why he prefers working alone.

Fascinated by the choice to portray Irep tucking his hands behind his back. It seems to be his thing while his parents lean into the OG show's style of holding their hands like stubby chicken wings. I've been thinking that this whole episode... I have random memories sticking out to me from OG series; I'm gonna look it up.

- Oh, interesting... He does it in "Playdate" (dressed nice and trying to fool Cosmo and Wanda into believing he's rehabilitated after Abracatraz), "Love Triangle" (flirting with Goldie on the playground), "Timmy's Secret Wish" (bragging about being a lawyer), "Two and a Half Babies" (pretending to be a good boy for his teacher at the end so she'll let him go to summer camp), "Terrible Twosome" (swaying Poof to mess around and pull pranks), and maybe others, but that's enough looking. - I guess it's just his thing! That's cool; I don't think that was a gesture I paid much attention to in the OG, but he's done it a lot in New Wish. I think he's happy he lost his stubby arms.

I'm OBSESSED with Dev's realization that he and Irep aren't business partners if Irep doesn't listen to his feelings as a partner. He's gonna realize he didn't listen to Peri, and he's gonna want him back!! They're gonna work it out! ... Hopefully with a mediator!

I like how Dale went from 0 to 100 in paying attention to his son as soon as he realized Dev was capable of business deals. He's not being comforting, but he's interested in talking business.

Dale is one of the funniest characters I've ever seen in my life. Not necessarily for the things he says, but for the commitment to the bit.

His swagless looks, nonexistent charm, and extreme amounts of oddly specific lemonade trauma have captivated me. I desperately want to look at him and say "Huh?? Who invited THIS guy??"

Hands down favorite part of Dale's design is the enormous puffer jacket he wears despite the fact it's obvious he's still super scrawny. But I also like how his child design ALSO has the exhausted lines under his eyes in "Nectar of the Odds," which I'd just assumed were invented for adult Dale until I took another look. Also, on some bizarre level, I feel like Dale has actually recovered remarkably well for a guy who spent 7 years tormented underground in servitude? Is he generous with his money? No. Does he have friends? No. Is he kind to his son? No. Is he capable of resting between projects or just taking breaks in general? Also no. Can he handle people messing with his schedule? Absolutely not. Is he keeping tabs on his abuser to ensure she doesn't wreck his or his son's life? Nope. But does his hard work bring him happiness? ... I don't know :'D But he's good at getting things done when he sets his mind to it, he can host a killer event, he's heavily implied to have amazing robotics skills, and he has insanely quick turnaround on his marketing plans, so he's got that going for him. -> Dale will look at stuff and say "Is anybody gonna hyperfixate on that?" and not wait for an answer. "Self-made" lemonade boy, my beloved... If we get a huge plot twist that Dale is the creator of the Vicky-themed robot babysitters from the "Channel Chasers" epilogue, would that be nuts or what? Me: Wait, what are all the symptoms of hyperfixation again? Lemme look this up... Me: Me: ... Good to know! (It was all of them. All of them are the symptoms)

The Dale ramble I wrote here got so long that I moved it to its own post. I hope you like my shirtless "Dale bad at being on his honeymoon" doodles <3

I'm glad Dale seems like he's doing okay and that Dev didn't bug him with lemons (or throw him down in the dark pit that swings shut from the top, even though that would've been so easy). I think I was right in that I'm probably making a bigger deal out of his backstory than the show intended, but I think it's hilarious.

I do have a history of going for characters who give me "Okay, but where else can I ever get this character / this dynamic?" energy. He's one heckuva guy. I need to put him in a 'fic and shake him up and down like a snow globe. I desperately want him to find out he accidentally hired his abuser to babysit his kid. I hope it was an accident, because if he's kept her number in his contact list, I'm gonna have a talk with him.

I wish we'd see Dale doing "angry at Hazel" stuff. I'm confused as to what the purpose of it was... Are we not going to touch on that in the finale? Was it just to upset Dev, but not vital enough to follow through with as an actual plot point? hm.

-> ?? I feel like it was a big deal in at least two episodes leading up to this big finale plot, so I'm just... surprised? Hm.

I guess I'm not really bothered because I don't think Dale knows Hazel came to Fairy World or that she'll appear again, and I understand why his attention is diverted, but it'd be fun (for me).

Also, this is our second time being robbed of a Dev-Irep sleepover D:

omfg, Irep ditching Dev for Dale is the funniest thing ever.

oh no.

Alone again...

sdlkfj, Wanda has spent this entire series taking shots at Dev because she thinks he's a bitter bully and she kept saying things to Peri like "Blink twice if you need help getting out of here."

I remember posting years ago about how I like to think Cosmo's really good at reading people (especially when it comes to distracting them, like encouraging Jorgen to "scramble the Fairies" in "Abra-catastrophe" before he can separate them from Timmy).

So... I really enjoy that he senses Wanda's going too far and might lose any chance of Dev helping, and he tries to stop her.

oh no... I like how when Wanda is telling Dev about dying from magical back-up and she uses the example of a fairy feeling queasy and needing to use the bathroom and then they explode...

... because that's how the Grim Reaper told Foop he'd die back in "Man's Worst Friend" ("Oh, this is fun! You're gonna perish on the toilet!"), and I've been thinking about it ever since I saw Peri dying on the floor.

I headcanon them dying young, but not THIS young!! /jk

Wanda, I have good news for you! I'm pretty sure that guy you think is dead isn't dead. Pretty sure I saw him when I took my screenshots of Anti-Fairies taking over Earth and (ironically) the memorial scene at Fairy Con.

Irep when the alarm goes off cracks me up. There's no point in posting the screenshot because he's tiny and blurry, but he's so spooked. His eyes take up his entire face. RIP overly sensitive bat ears and weak bat eyes.

Oooh, Jasmine singing is going to do something. Are the Anti-Fairies going to enjoy it despite other characters thinking she sings poorly?

Yes. lol. I was going to theorize in my 2nd post for this episode about whether Irep is still really affected by music, but I didn't bother because I was like "I can't imagine that would come up."

oh no, he is. Not enthusiastically... but he is. Love that for him. This kid's always loved to dance and play loud music. Never change.

oh no!!! They're exploiting Irep's one true weakness...

Diversity win!! The genderfluid bisexual has a gender-neutral response for nonbinary folks he thinks have bad boy energy!!

sdlfjk, I think Irep just found the person he most wants to godparent for. Ever.

I checked "Certifiable Super Sitter" again just in case I missed a bad boy joke, and I totally forgot Sammy screams "Break Vicky like a 2 x 4!" at the top of his lungs while he mimes snapping her neck. He's so funny. I love him. I wonder if Foop ever told Sammy about his "Scary Godcouple" trauma and if Sammy was extra ruffled about Vicky because of that.

Peri: I don't understand what you see in Sammy. He's so... mild. Irep: Not after I talk to him ❤️

okay, nerd.

......... Did Foop have a crush on Goldie back in "Love Triangle" because she has major femme fatale energy?? Discuss.

omg, just realized the reason why Irep's single eyelash felt so familiar to me is because that's how he looked in "Blue Angel." Absolutely hilarious that when he opts for a feminine disguise, he has fewer eyelashes than usual.

- Poof and Foop had 3 eyelashes per eye when they were young, but Peri's lost those, and Anti-Cosmo doesn't show lashes. Jorgen's New Wish eyes don't either (Jorgen wore mascara in the OG series) and neither do Cosmo's (Cosmo also liked make-up) - I ?? have to assume that means Irep is deliberately going for a more femme, nonbinary, or genderfluid vibe of some kind, which is perfect for me! His gender identity is one of his plot points in the 130 Prompts. - Can't believe all those years ago, I clocked Poof as growing up to be "the one suppressing trauma with candy and soda" and Foop as "the one who plays with gender expression" ... I know it's not stated by canon, but you get me...

??? I like how Anti-Wanda seems to be teaching Anti-Cosmo how to make his eyes look in different directions and he's loving it? Unclear.

I also like how with his accent, it sounds like he's saying "Hazel-y," which is cute. I like how he made the effort to find out her name; that's 100% in-character.

They are doing their best!! (They are not)

I like that when confused, Anti-Cosmo's instinct was to turn to Anti-Wanda for advice. That's new for him considering he used to shake her and scream. I'm glad they worked that out. And I'm glad he's exactly as "extinct by instinct" as he's always been <3

Apparently Irep (or at least Foop) gets the "spelling out unnecessary details" bit of his dialogue from his mom??

Like, monologuing important info is one thing, but in the OG series, Foop elaborates on things for no reason, like Anti-Wanda here. lol.

I was kind of worried about the direction Anti-Wanda's reboot might go. I believe what I said was, "I'd be interested to see her redesigned with new clothes and with a reduction on the "Anti-Wanda's stupid" angle in favor of mirroring Wanda better (owing to how I've always felt she was a hasty design slapped down in Season 2 and then they couldn't go back on it when Wanda's character developed further). Anti-Wanda's hit every mark I was hoping for in a rebooted design for her. She's still Southern and goofy, but she's not being played as stupid... She and Anti-Cosmo are equally silly and equally dumb and messing around <3

sdlkfj, Anti-Cosmo out here like "This isn't my party, so I'm down to follow my wife's suggestion that we slip from the room together."

Okay, other nerd; I'm glad you're excited to be alone with your hot wife as you definitely try to catch a real human running around.

ALSO very in character; man LOVES forgetting what he's doing and wandering around!! That's his thing!!!

Me out here like "Oh yeah, now I remember why I wrote a 'fic where no one looked for the captured Anti-Cosmo for 77k years because his family totally thought he'd gone wandering and dissociated and started a new life... oh no.

[igncrxntripley]

haters gonna hate

Synopsis: Y/N and Damian confirm their relationship online, and he makes her feel better after reading mean comments. 

tags: age gap, fem!reader, top!damian, fingering, grinding, NSFW 18+

A/N: take this to hold you over while i work on more poly!judgement day LMAOOOO

Being in a relationship with a WWE superstar wasn’t easy; schedules never matched, travel was always interrupting the regular flow of the relationship, and it was hard to work on intimacy. Damian wanted nothing more than to be with someone who understood what his job was but he had little to no luck over the years. Y/n felt the same way as a young superstar in her twenties, wanting the same experiences with dating as other people her age but having no luck given how often she was on the road. 

Damian and Y/N met while in NXT together and connected over their shared thoughts about the difficulties in maintaining a personal life. But they both loved it and wouldn’t trade it for the world, and they bonded over so many other things besides their jobs. It was just easy to be around Damian, so as the years went on and they moved up to the main roster at the same time their relationship only developed from there. Fans speculated there was something between them but no one had confirmed it, until Damian and Y/N talked it over and decided it was the right time to come clean. 

They both posted the same pictures on their Instagram - a recent mirror selfie of the two of them at home before going to the gym. Damian’s arm was around Y/N’s waist and they were cuddled quite close together, Y/N wearing some of Damian’s merch to almost confirm even more what was going on between them. Her caption was a simple heart emoji, and Damian’s was more elaborate; Life is a little sweeter with you in it, mi princesa. 

It didn’t take long at all for fans to run wild with the information, and it felt good for them to finally be in the loop as to what was going on. But for every good comment there was a bad one, and Y/N spent so much time hyperfixating on trolls who didn’t know anything about her and Damian’s relationship that she stopped enjoying this period of bliss. Sure he was older than her, but why should it matter? They both cared about one another and they were happy, so why couldn’t people on social media leave them alone? 

“Mi amor, I’m home.” Damian said as he came back from the gym to see Y/N in bed, sadness written all over her face as she stared at her phone and he knew immediately what she was doing. “Baby, what did I tell you?” he scolded softly, sitting next to her in bed and gently taking the phone away from her. “You’re still reading comments?”

Y/N sniffled and wiped her eyes, trying to make herself stop before she got even more upset. “They’re just so mean,” she said softly. “All we did was post one picture, and people feel like they know what’s best for us.” Damian frowned and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest. “And guess what? They’ll never know what’s best for us, and that’s okay.” He said softly. “What we do is our business, and I refuse to let stupid comments from stupid people on the internet affect us.” He kissed the top of your head and gently rubbed your back. “We knew this might happen when we made everything public. Now we just have to prove them wrong.”

Damian was right, and Y/N knew that. But it didn’t make the hate comments on their posts any less mean. She looked up at him with a small pout and gave a small nod. “You’ll beat them up for me?” She asked and it made Damian chuckle. “I’ll beat every last one of them up.” He confirmed before giving her a gentle kiss. Now that he knew his girl was upset, he was committed to making her feel better and forget about all of the awful things she was reading on social media. Damian needed to make sure she knew he wanted her, so after the first kiss he continued to press his lips to Y/N’s in passionate yet gentle kisses. After a few moments she adjusted her body so she was straddling him and sitting in his lap, and her arms were wrapped around her man’s broad shoulders. 

“Let me show you that you’re mine, mi amor.” Damian whispered against her lips, his large hands gripping her hips as she made herself comfortable in his lap. Y/N gave a small smile against his lips and played with his hair as she began to move her hips in small circles. The smallest touches could make her go crazy with Damian, and he wasn’t making it any easier as his kisses moved to her neck and chest. “Please…” She whispered. “I need it.”

His girl’s words made Damian kick things up a notch. He held her hips and coaxed them into continuing to move against his cock. “Tell daddy what you want me to do to you, mi princesa.” She shivered as he spoke in Spanish, something that only added to Y/N’s arousal. “I want you to ruin me,” she started. “I want you to show me who I belong to.” She couldn’t help but grin as she moaned and Damian flipped them over on the bed. He wasted no time once he was on top of her and pulled down her shorts and underwear. “You’re so perfect,” he mumbled against her lips while her own hands started to pull his sweats down. “I’m gonna make sure the neighbors know you’re mine.”

Y/N smiled up at him as her hand wrapped around his length to tease him. “I want everyone to know I’m yours.” She whined once his fingers started to tease her, almost trying to get her to beg for him. “Please, papi…” Her words were enough for Damian to push himself into her and he started to thrust, his large hands holding her cheeks as they watched each other. “You’re mine, amor. All mine.” Damian making love to her was enough for Y/N to forget about anything that had happened earlier in the day; he just knew how to make her feel beautiful and loved, even when they weren’t being sexual with one another. But moments like these? Where he worshiped her body and made her feel beautiful when others couldn’t? She knew he was the one. 

He held Y/N close as they finished together and kissed her again, interlocking their hands next to her head and not even daring to pull out just yet. “Mine.” Damian whispered. And that had never been more clear.

[trek-tracks]

hi.

I just wanted to say...I ended up landing back on your blog a while ago, following an ongoing TOS hyperfixation. it was the first time I'd looked at tumblr again in ages. and I happened to stumble across a post where you had left these tags--

and that, uh, absolutely floored me. like, when I say I didn't think anyone would notice I was gone, I don't mean that anyone did anything to make me think that--it's just, when you get a head full up with depression, it's real easy to convince yourself of things like that, you know? and you can do all kinds of positive thinking exercises to try to fight it, but actually having a concrete rebuttal come along and knock the whole narrative down is something else entirely.

it's a whole thing and I don't want to traumadump on you or anything. I just, uh, wanted to say thanks, I guess. also I now have a folder full of TOS text post memes saved, so thanks for that too.

I spent the past few days debating whether or not to answer this publicly, and please let me know if you'd rather I take it down. In the end, I think it's important that a) everyone knows I think you're awesome, and b) to send the message to everyone that more people care about you than you think. (Yes, you, reading this. I don't care what your brain says. You are important to people, even if you don't know it yet.)

I had no hope or expectation you would ever see those tags, and they are honest. You were one of my early friends on Tumblr, back when I was really seeing what this platform was all about. I loved your insights, I loved your jokes, and I always enjoyed our interactions. I saw that you were having a hard time, and I was definitely worried when you left. However, I didn't want to ask you to come back to a platform that was clearly draining to you, or be another expectation in a sea of expectations. I googled you a few times for my own peace of mind, but that's as far as it got. In this online world, sometimes it's hard to show we care without feeling awkward or overbearing.

Ultimately, though, the thing about this online world is that we also never completely disappear, especially if we interact with each other. Chains of posts and responses are snapshots of friendships, ephemera preserved in time. It's sad and fond and lovely all at once. Every once in a while, that past resurfaces, and we remember. Sometimes I wish we could know when someone is thinking about us, a little pinprick of warmth we could carry around, but maybe it'd get excessive and feel like heartburn.

I want anyone who follows this blog to know--if we're mutuals, or if you show up in my notifications every once in a while (because after my initial burst of following people I've become really remiss about adding mutuals, which is only a good thing because it would mean I'd spend even more time on Tumblr), I think about you, and I hope you're doing well. You matter.

When I say that I am thrilled that you're back and recovering, Rev, I mean it with my whole whole heart. It made my week. So often we don't get to read the next chapter of our online friends' lives, and thank you so much for updating us.

[olderthannetfic]

I found myself rereading an old discussion about AO3 commenting culture (ye olde "Authors aren't owed comments" vs. "Readers aren't owed fic either" wank). And you know, it strikes me that a lot of the drama in such discussions is rooted in the fact that people only ever seem to engage with the worst things the opposite side says. And of course that leads to miscommunication, because the extremes are not generally applicable to most people.

Like, for instance. Someone going "I comment so regularly I practically gave myself burn-out commenting". Authors complaining about people who act entitled to stories aren't talking about you, I promise. They're talking about people who genuinely can't be bothered or go on flippant "Why don't you just write for yourself?" rants, while still enjoying other people's work. Ditto on the other side: people get offended at being called entitled authors, but odds are good the person isn't referring to you, who would simply like to not shout into the void, odds are good they're referring to the asshole authors they've met who'd throw hissy hits over comments that weren't phrased exactly to their liking, because yes, people like that do exist so it's simply flat out wrong to say "Just comment, authors are always happy to see comments, no matter how short! :)"

Also, a particular comment jumped out at me:

"It's not a consumer's job to compliment a promote an artist's work"

I generally agree that acting like people are owed comments is useless and stupid, but if I had to pick a phrasing that sums up my misgivings about common commenting culture, it's this. So many people seem to act like authors are getting a paycheck for this and don't need any additional motivator.

The other thing that bugs me is when people talk about all the reasons they don't comment (low spoons, anxiety, tired, etc.), but ignore the fact that authors have to deal with all of the above, too. And not just in fanfic. It seems any time there's any kind of social conflict being discussed (like, say, replying to a friend's messages in a vaguely timely manner) a ton of people will trot out excuses for why they can't do [insert what's generally seen as the vaguely courteous thing to do], but inadvertently act like that makes them special and like they're the only ones who have these legitimately valid excuses.

This started in one place and led to another, sorry. I guess I'm just frustrated with the Tumblr mental health culture of "I have a semi-specific reason I struggle with this so I'm not even going to try". I think people overcompensate too much for "Just don't be disabled!"-style ableism and swing too hard in the embraced helplessness direction.

Back to fanfic, every time I see the "I can't do it because of X" thing in the context of commenting, I can't help but think of how many authors also deal with depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, low spoons, etc. and how easy it would have been for them to give up, but they got through it and posted the fanfic anyway, and how often they're then met with silence because the prevailing attitude among their audience is e.g. "I read this before bed and was too sleepy to comment, and too forgetful to comment the next day". I think about some of the fic I've written, often fic written when I maybe should have been doing something else, or fic written at the cost of sleep, or hyperfixating at my keyboard for six hours instead of going for a nice hike with my family, and it's hard not to get a little bitter, you know? Talking about legitimate reasons for why commenting is hard just so often comes across as "You're free to make sacrifices to write the stuff I read, but I won't make any"

I also feel a bit bitter that it's impossible to even discuss these things in a vacuum without someone going "Discussions like this are why I've stopped commenting", as someone inevitably will in the notes of this post. "Just shut up and make your Content(TM) and don't complain about anything", is what it feels like.

--

The entire phrasing of reward and owing is stupid.

The reality is that lots of people won't produce work unless they feel like someone cares. No amount of moralizing or excuses will change that.

It's also the reality that posting to the masses on AO3 or tumblr will result in maybe one like or other interaction per hundred hits if you're really, really lucky. The rate has never been much better than that, and it never will be. It's often very much worse.

If one personally wants to encourage people, sure, go out and do that, but any call to action that ignores the above two realities is like fighting the tide.

I do think "It's not my job to promote you" typically comes up in the context of meltdowns about letting artists "languish in your likes" instead of being reblogged onto your actual blog and/or contexts where the artist/author/etc. is selling their work.

Here's the thing: people who never comment do not count.

They think they're part of a community. They're not. If you don't participate, you're a ghost.

When some author moves to a more enclosed space, a lot of people who saw themselves as part of something are suddenly left out in the cold, wondering why. But the fact is, if you don't pay the entry fee of socializing with others, you're nobody to them.

The entitled randos don't matter. If they bug you enough, take your toys and retreat to a discord with your friends.

[maximwtf]

“Overexerted”

Baizhu x Reader

Words: 1490

Google docs pages: 3

Warnings: mentions of blood, sick Baizhu, spoilers of his story quest

Opening: Baizhu has another one of those days, a flare up after a few days of taking care of patients. As no one dares to say a word of what is going on with him, you can only guess. And getting through to the man to allow help is no easy task. 

AN// Reader can be any gender! Yall I’m sorry for the slight break, I think I’ve had almost every possible disease at this point. Just recently the joints on my hands got so painful I could barely open a can of soda, writing didn’t even come to mind :”D Anyway, back on track now! Requests are open again, though I am still heavily hyperfixated on genshin, so other requests will unfortunately have a slight delay ^^!

“Overexerted”

The usually lively pharmacy was awfully rather quiet on such a lovely day as it was. Not that it was a bad thing that a doctor’s office was empty, a good thing that the people of Liyue were healthy. But even on days like these the atmosphere in the building was never as grim as it was now. It had felt like you’d gone through a threshold of sorts after only stepping in. The herbalist behind the desk was quiet, seemingly his mind was elsewhere. And Qiqi, the child Baizhu so selflessly took care of was nowhere to be seen. Odd. It was all odd, and you had an awful feeling of what might have been going on. Only, for once you wished for yourself to be wrong. That it was only a trick of your mind, nothing more. 

You knocked lightly on the wall closest to you, gaining the attention of the man behind the desk. He had not the time to ask you of your business, you beat him to it. “Where might I find Baizhu?” You inquired, but to your demise the answer was just as you’d expected. “The doctor is having one of those days of his. Come back tomorrow if you need his help!” He nodded after, then going back to whatever he’d been reading before your arrival. 

Useless, he wasn’t going to tell you the truth. You weren’t quite so sure he even knew the extent of it. From your knowledge the man you knew wasn’t one to share information having to do with his contract. 

The sound of footsteps caught your attention soon after. Qiqi marched into the space from behind a corner, not paying much mind to you as she walked past. You weren’t so sure she even remembered your name, and from what you’d heard you weren’t sure she’d ever remember. You’d been claimed as “Bai’s friend” in her mind. But her arrival confirmed your fear. She’d come back with an empty tray in her hands, meaning she’d brought food for Baizhu. 

Without another word, you left. Reversed the way Qiqi had just taken, which led you to an all too familiar door by now. You didn’t bother with knocking, knowing if he was to answer, it would be something along the lines of, ‘I’ll be available tomorrow!’ with maybe instructions on who to ask help from until then. So instead of going through that, you gently opened the door, making sure to close it tightly after stepping in. 

If you’d doubted your fear of his condition before stepping into the room, you had to admit to yourself for being wrong right about now. The usually bright spirited doctor sat at the edge of the bed, slightly hunched over. He had a cloth in hand, covering his mouth with it as coughing fits flushed through his body. You weren’t so sure he’d even heard you come in. “Baizhu?” You asked, voice soft but just loud enough for him to hear. And as no surprise at this point, as soon as he saw you his demeanor changed. Or more so attempted to change, as another coughing fit caught wind of him. He was a mess. And with a quick look at the white snake next to him on the bed, you could tell she wasn’t all too happy about the situation either. You knew she tried to make sure he didn’t overexert himself, yet this happened every now and then. And you couldn’t blame her either. For a skilled and intelligent man like him, he did not know when to take a break or ask for help. 

As the fit calmed down, his gaze landed on you once more. He didn’t seem surprised to see you, expression more apologetic than anything. “You’ve taken too much yet again, and not given yourself time to rest.” You sighed, walking closer as your eyes scanned the nightstand beside the bed. A few small bowls appeared to be spread around it, guessing they must have been left there by Qiqi. But it also meant he’d been here for more than half a day. You began to stack the bowls, somewhat glad that he’d at least eaten something. “I will be fine, honestly. A short rest was in order, nothing more.” He tried to explain himself gently, but it was no use for his defence. “You look worse for wear compared to the last time I saw you…” You sighed, finding yourself oddly upset by the situation. Not angry, never. But upset that he had to live like this. Or chose to, as it more seemed. The first time you’d learned of his contract with the snake, you had begun to think of the creature as a parasite. Feasting on someone else's life force only to sustain her own. Yet, the more you saw Baizhu long to help others even at the risk of his own health, you started to understand his decision.

Baizhu seemed to have caught up with your thoughts, head slightly tilted. He didn’t say anything, yet wishing to ask if you were okay but sensing the irony of asking such things. So he hoped you’d understand him without speaking up on the matter. “I’ve told you to look after yourself.” A sight leaves you, defeated by this point yet still caring. “I admit, I may have overexerted myself a little more than necessary. But believe me when I say, it is nothing fatal.” He replied, coughing after. You noticed the bloodied cloth he was using, shaking your head at the sight. “Seems an awful lot like it will be one of these days.” You answer, gently taking the cloth from him and placing it in one of the empty bowls, knowing you’d take them out with you before leaving. “Forgive me, I did not mean that”, you feel the need to add after a moment of silence. “I merely worry for you out of care.” Which was true, only you hoped he knew the true depths of such feelings. The doctor had taken a breath in an attempt to reply, but a coughing fit disturbed him. You frown, turning to him as you place a fresh cloth on the nightstand for him. “I know, though I do recall telling you not to.” He finally has the chance to say. 

You do not reply to that, being aware that he had indeed said so, yet you saw it as absurd. How could you not, he was dear to you. Though, at times it felt like caring after someone who already slipped beyond your grasp. 

You moved onto the bed, sliding yourself behind him on the soft surface. The snake gave you space out of respect for the attempt to talk some sense into him, slithering to the doctor’s lap. You’d noticed what kind of a mess his hair was, assuming he wouldn’t mind if you fixed it for him. So you didn’t exchange any words with the man, brushing your fingers through his long hair. If you hadn’t known any better, you wouldn’t have noticed the way his shoulders relaxed ever so slightly. The sight erased the former frown from your face as you continued, being able to sort out his hair without a comb. “Hot flashes?” You question him gently, wanting a better perspective on how he was feeling. And above that, you knew a part of him enjoyed being taken care of, being asked the same sort of questions he asked on the daily. ‘Mhm’, a soft agreeing noise responded. “Cold chills?” You continued with the questions, gently gathering some of his hair and twisting it into the familiar bun you were used to seeing him with. ‘Yes’, another agreeing reply, feeling him lean back as you secured the bun. “Hm, I diagnose you bedridden until you feel better.” You chuckled slightly, placing one of the longer pieces of hair he had out of the bun over his shoulder. “Ah, what an awful faith.” He tried to chuckled, a cough replying to the attempt of that. “Now lay down, I’ll come back to check up on you.” You place a hand on his shoulder before getting up from the bed to give him space. He didn’t seem to argue against the idea, laying down rather willingly. You go to pick up the bowls, giving the man one last look before exiting the room. 

AN// Happy new year to everyone who made it to the end, as I know I won't be posting anymore on this side of the year. Concearning my writing this year, yall have made it as amazing as it has been. Thank you, as I still cannot quite comprehend how many people have followed along this mess of a blog <3