#guess it must've just been a bit weak

[kujiba]

【Go on and Love Me】

୨୧ — ꒰ male!reader | he/his prounouns | Sagau | Genshinimpact

୨୧ — ꒰ Streamer!Reader who gets sidetracked by people's donations/chats making the genshin characters feel jealous

Ft. Xiao, Wanderer, Kinich, Traveler

A/n: inspired by la2yn0va hsr fic

X I A O

(Name) happily smiled at another donation sent to him after recently completing a natlan quest

"Thanks for the 20 bits donation!"

He thanked the chat with a wide smile, the chat which was filled with people commenting every second flooding the entire screen making (Name) shift his focus to answer their questions about himself.

This cute interaction made (Name) feel warm and lovely in the inside, being able to interact with fans who admired him.

You know who wasn't happy? A dark headed male inside a screen wasn't that happy unlike (Name). Why were these people gifting you so low? Most of all why was (Name)'s attention not on him anymore?

He had to pull alot of strings to make his own crit rise up since (Name)'s luck on the Vermilion domain was absolutely dog shit.

(Name) — Hm? My favorite character in genshin?

Xiao — You called?

Xiao unintentionally blurted that out without any thoughts whatsoever, but when he did realize and saw (Name)'s confused face along with the chat going wild.

Without any choice Xiao did his idle animation to hide his face away from you, he used his mask so that Xiao won't face you for a while since he was in a very vulnerable state

(Name) — New mail? Sweet 300 primos!

(Chat) — Fr? I didn't get any new mail from hoyo yet.

(Name) — Well.. Free primos is free primos

If (Name)'s happy then he'll rest easy today. Hopefully no rumors circulate about what happened earlier.. Self aware fanfics are crazy these days.

W A N D E R E R

Wanderer stared at (Name) blankly, he was too busy thanking people with countless of donations to even realize they were still in a boss fight farming material's for upcoming characters.

Wanderer became (Name)'s fan ever since he saw him at that temporary event named 'Unreconciled Stars Event Quest The Crisis Deepens'.

Smug mf since he made (Name) hit hard pity for him. But was kind enough to give you his c1 after 140 wishes

(Chat) — Why don't you change your main (Streamer Name)?

An irk mark appears on Wanderer's face but wasn't that visible on screen.

Is this swine telling (Name) to replace him with someone else? Hard pass. He was already stolen from (Name)'s attention and now these nobody's are trying to persuade him into maining some other weak random than him.

Just so happen that (Name) spotted a chest nearby and happily went over to open it, Wanderer took this opportunity immediately

(Wanderer) — Unnecessary.

(Chat) — Is it just me or is his voice rougher than usual?

Damn right it's rougher since he just wanted to vent his anger out on any enemies on sight

The chat won't know but what he had said was directly targeted at them, if only he could say every insult known to man right now

So (Name), keep your eyes on him only and no one else, then maybe he'll make his attacks stronger if you comply

(Name) — Well to answer your question earlier chat, no I don't think I'll be changing my main anytime soon. Wanderer's pretty fun to play with.

After (Name) finished talking he took a closer look at Wanderer's face, but his eyes swore Wanderer had a tad bit of pink on his cheeks

His eyes must've been starting to break with the amount of streaming his doing

T R A V E L E R

(Name) had just began to prep for his stream of the week and now he was currently adjusting the Traveler's artifacts to try out a new build

You know what's crazy though? His builds are pretty shitty.

He has the absolute worst luck in artifacts plus in leveling up pieces, most of which usually goes to defense or HP%

But he still hits about 800k regularly with the Traveler! How could he do such thing with only 44.6% Crit rate!?

(Chat) — 1 MILLION?? (Name) are you doing hacks?

(Name) — What? No! Guess my Traveler's just really op

The Traveler is a smug motherfucker

Of course the Traveler wouldn't hit such high numbers without using a...slight adjustment to the system

Sure their pieces are pretty bad but they'll accept anything (Name) had given them! How could they just shake off his hard work on griding for their ascension and talents?

Whenever the Traveler sees (Name)'s shocked expression during the massive crit's appearing on his screen they are damn right happy and overjoyed they managed to satisfy their grace!

(Chat) — Your builds are bad af tho lolol

(Chat) — Why main the Traveler? They're a pretty bad character to main, you should go for Nuevillete or Alhaitham.

The Traveler's good mood immediately faded into dust once he saw the chats text

Are those no lifers saying that they're not fit to be (Name)'s vessel? They're the most perfect one!

What could Nuevillete or whatever character have that they don't? Could they switch elements? Don't think so

If they wanted bigger numbers, the Traveler will show them big numbers all right, if you want them to hit 10 million they're gonna make it happen with just one click

(Name) — Thanks for the suggestion chat but I'm going to stick with the Traveler, I'm already wayyy too attached

The Traveler's mood once again took a 360 and smiled softly at what (Name) said to them, their stomachs fluttering with delight

(Name) is attached to them? No other compliment or praise could ever reach what the Traveler was feeling at the very moment

Their grace! Oh their grace... If only they could just grab onto you and drag you here where you rightfully belong

K I N I C H

Kinich is an upcoming playable character but many in the genshin community have fallen head over heels for him

Yet he couldn't careless about them, after all just being near (Name)'s presence even though it's just by the Traveler's vessel already makes him nice and comfortable

(Name) — Day 10 of saving up for Kinich let's goo

(Chat) — Woah already 200 wishes? You're quick man

(Name) — Can't help it lmao, Kinich seems fun to play and he's really pretty!

(Chat) — He seem's boring though

(Chat) — Dude the dialouge is slightly glitching wtf

The dialouge's glitching is caused by Kinich's embarrassment and rage, he was previously just about to talk till he heard (Name) sing praises about him! How could he not accidentally stutter and mess up the dialouge!?

But on the other hand, the hell did that person meant by he was boring? He wasn't even released yet! This caused Kinich to panic mentally if whether or not you'll change your mind about pulling for him

He stared at you from the screen, clenching his fists tighter by the second. Just a small bit more... Just one more step and he'll be released, then he could really be by your side now.

(Name) — Aw man, hold on chat I gotta pause the stream to fix this glitching

(Name) eventually had to exit the game to try and see what the problem was with his device or if it was overheating again

Meanwhile Kinich was still standing there re-adjusting his thoughts about what just happened. His feelings were all a mixed bag at this point, he sighed rubbing his temples slowly

Ajaw eventually came to his side while looking at him weirdly like he had done something wrong

(Ajaw) — Wow.. Just wow

(Kinich) — Shut up...

To rightfully apologized the system eventually sent 10 wishes in (Name)'s game mail which he was confused at first but eh, more wishes for c6 knich!

Once he becomes playable Kinich would definitely spoil (Name) with high numbers and crit's. He would just have to deal with Ajaw's yapping in the meantime..

So don't get distracted over what those 'Chat' people say about him!

A/n: likes and reblogs are appreciated! Have a nice day(ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

[anantaru]

— not saying “i love you” back

including scaramouche, ayato, alhaitham, cyno x gn! reader

꒰ genre ꒱ — fluff, we‘re evil (especially in cyno's part)

— scaramouche

"and please don't forget to buy some fruit!"

you sing over to your boyfriend, musing with a pacifying, settling timbre in your voice when scaramouche indisputably turned around one last time before leaving for the grand bazaar.

in any other occasion, the two of you would proceed to go together, hand in hand, strolling through the entirety of Sumeru City while sauntering in midst the many food vendors to stock up for the upcoming week.

"i will, stop repeating it all over again."

he's gutted, scrunching his eyebrows with indistinct wrinkles showing on his forehead, "i'm not stupid." obviously, kuni was barking back in his usual fashion, tiptoeing around the edge of your nerves.

"obviously you're the smartest."

you responded, with a crooked little grin accompanying your teasing, the taunting that had your boyfriend weak on the knees, making him all giddy but he wouldn't admit it, ever.

he sighs, acting a bit peeved, but in truth he could barely muffle a laugh, or a little giggle at least, "whatever, i'm leaving." your eyes follow him, watching as he walked towards the exit, speaking once more. "bye, love you."

"bye!"

okay, well, maybe you were evil after all.

you weren't sure what brought you to the realization that, yes, maybe now was the right time to poke fun at your boyfriend, provoke scaramouche to tickle a sweet, little reaction out of him.

the moment he had heard you speak, he didn't move, as if he was waiting for the last few sentences he was sure, you must've forgotten.

"really? is that all you got to say to me?"

scaramouche was swaying from leg to leg, left to right, killing time and fiddling his thumbs as his eyes dangerously proceeded to throw daggers on your resting frame, yearning for attention. "mhm!"

as it was, you didn't seem to care, at all, it was both irritating and off putting.

aside from how you were innocently resting on the couch while browsing and paging through a little picture book you bought a while back, you were still, ignoring him, thoroughly indulging in it.

right off the bat, his face tweaked, his left brow twitching in displeasure.

actually, there were two possible routes to take right now, he figured; one, he could either just brush it off and go on about his day or second, he'd go back and find out what he had possibly done wrong this time.

obviously it must've been something quite significant, because normally it's you who's saying 'i love you' first and he needed, no, he deserved to hear that, right now.

so .. how dare you forget about it just like that? without an inch of remorse?

scaramouche was standing upright, shoulders confidently jolted back, while walking to where you were sitting st, and you noticed, of course you did, yet you pretended you didn't, fully immersing yourself into your other activity.

"hey." he speaks lowly now, a little confused but he's got the sprit before carefully lowering himself next to you.

"what's so interesting about this?"

he's ignorantly swatting his hand towards the little book in your grasp, his eyes were now, a touch lower, as if he was sad and actually concerned. "weren't you going somewhere?"

you were expecting this, flawlessly guessing his next step.

yet you opted to burst the bubble before you'd end up giving your boyfriend a heart attack.

meanwhile scaramouche couldn't believe his own hearing, momentarily he was more than fed up, bewildered, "you know what? forget it."

he pursed his lips, you knew he wasn't good with words so when he made an effort to angrily get up from his seat, you quickly wiggled your arms around his waist to drag him down again, nuzzling into his back when scaramouche plopped back into the cushions with a low heave.

"i was just messing with you." you're clasping on him tighter, further when you noticed a slight shake in his body, "forgive me please."

you're mumbling, hardly a whisper, as scaramouche cradled his body to face you, his lips carved into a purse, it was visible on how displeased and worried he had gotten.

he's accepting your apology in his own ways, kind of.

curling himself into your hug and precisely positioning his lips so they’d ghost against your ear, "do this again and i‘ll get back at you." gently kissing your earlobe, "but so much harder."

— ayato

"i will be free to retire from my duties tonight."

ayato spoke in a tranquil approach while applying a moisturizer on his face, gently massaging it into his skin.

"i'll fetch you later so you can join me for dinner."

it was quite usual for the both of you to plan your day ahead post slumber, above that going over ayato's schedule in particular which was mostly tightly packed and overfilled.

"sounds good to me." you're quick to slip into a cozy garment before lowering yourself to the vanity in his bedroom, smiling and carrying on to finish your daily routine.

taking this into consideration, ayato was set to start his day, slipping himself into his jacket before walking back to you once more.

he's lowering his face to charmingly nudge your jaw, "i'll be leaving now." his knuckles gently stroked down your nape while pondering softly.

subsequently, he quietly settled his lips on your cheek to plant a chaste goodbye kiss on you, "i love you."

that being done, ayato stood tall to walk out of your shared bedroom because normally, in any other instance, you'd say it back anyways, no reason for him to wait.

"until later!" your fingers moved idly over your face, not gifting him a single look back, whatever it was— that was developing right now, ayato at first, had no clue about it.

especially once he's almost reached the door, he figured, wait a minute, how come you still didn't say it back?

strange, he thought.

ayato narrowed his eyes and turned around, carefully observing you, extending all his senses in efforts to get behind the little mystery, and then, in the blink of an eye, it clicked and resonated in him.

"oh." ayato put his deepest, commanding voice, his scent, still hovering throughout the entire room, making you nervous, "so that's the little play you have issued for me today."

you're clearing your throat upon noticing the slight vibrations on the floor, emphasizing that he was walking towards you.

"i don't know what you're talking about, baby."

feigning innocence, you so early deciphered that it was in vein, coming from the mere fact that now, your boyfriend had an amusing grin spread across his smooth lips. "you don't know?"

he slowly clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, quietening his steps once reaching your body and placing his hands on top of your shoulders, watching you through the mirror of the vanity.

he's leaning forward, his shadow overcasting a spell on your body that had all your earlier confidence dissolved into nothingness, you caught yourself panicking and cradled your head to the side to meet his own.

"you know i'm utterly displeased if you act this way."

along the thin skin of your jaw, he planted short kisses on your flesh, his warm, minty breath ghosting over your face, "what way?"

you really wanted to know it now, desired to jump into the cold water without any safety measures.

you took a hard swallow and prolonged the eye contact, "like a brat."

you crooked a smile and then laughed, breathlessly giggling at him.

"ugh, i thought i would win today!"

you, in defeat, dramatically leaned back into the chair to render yourself defenseless, next, cradling his cheek to kiss him tenderly, "sorry."

his animated smile turned your heart ablaze, he was so outlandishly handsome even though he had just woken up half an hour ago.

ayato returned your kiss at the same time, liquifying your touch into his own when he drew himself back, a little, with you still being capable to taste his lips.

"now." he pauses for a brief instance, just a bit, before feebly nudging your nose, "say it back."

— alhaitham

alhaitham had told you, consistently, to be more mindful about your surrounding, urging you to take of yourself, most importantly your overall health.

and at any time you would assure him that you will listen, yet only shrugging his solicitousness off as nothing more than a small scale characteristic of his 'protective boyfriend' nature which traits he would display occasionally.

yet there you were now, sadly— and much to your dismay, vastly nauseous from coughing your literal heart out and attempting to get rid of the gnawing burn in your throat, your stomach churning after every inch of your muscles pulsing.

obviously for alhaitham personally, it was quite funny in the beginning, after all he had told you numerously to look after yourself, that there was a serious flu going around in Sumeru City.

so .. for you to not listen to his advice after all? let's say he wasn't surprised.

"how's my patient doing?" you can hear your boyfriend sing from across the room as you narrowed your eyes upon noticing that damned grin induced on his face, especially at the amusing little ring surrounding the color of his voice.

"what do you want?"

you're speaking lowly, a little raspy while fighting the soreness in your throat, "did you get my medicine?"

you weren't sure if alhaitham purposely took his time to get your treatment or if it was you, in fact, who didn't have any patience left in your frail body.

"of course i did." he's forcefully rolling his eyes, acting all dramatically while childishly swaying the package in his hand.

"what would *you* possibly do without me?"

folding your arms over your body, you intently stared at him now, as if the sole reason he got up in the morning was to get the best of you, mess with you or maybe punish you for not listening sooner.

alhaitham dropped himself onto the bed where you were currently residing in, comfortably nuzzled up in your blanket when you noticed the apparent shift of weight on the mattress.

you're reaching your hand out for the medicine, an invitation clearly made in vein, "can i?" the chill in the air cuts through the haze and pain in your throat, bringing your boiling blood singing on the surface of your cheeks.

as alhaitham made no effort to actually hand it to you, you were on the brink of snapping, attempting to grab it yourself yet he quickly pulled it back. "now, now." he speaks, amused.

"what do we say beforehand?"

"you're joking." your words are short, clumsy and there was something utterly repellent about the hilarity in alhaitham's tone and mannerism, "i'm not."

you're huffing out an exhausted sigh, reflecting the situation in your mind as to how you could pay him back for this behavior, clearly you were aware of how your boyfriend tends to act, how he could be quite a smart ass to you, but mostly to everyone around him.

instantaneously alhaitham breathlessly laughed as he noticed you zoned out, carefully planting the medicine in your palm, "yes, i was joking." his hand drew itself to your cheek to playfully nudge the flesh when he continued his sentence to you, "you're lucky i love you."

"whatever." you spoke and abruptly closed your hand to plump back into the velvety cushions of your shared bed, fully averting his gaze.

"you can go now."

there is a pause before he said anything, your face was hidden in the pillow when he watched over your shoulder.

"so .. you won't say it back or?"

"nope." you were quick to shush him, "really?"

"yes."

"are you sure?"

"yes."

it was an instinct when he suddenly let out a laugh, but an inaudible one, the sound not echoing through the room when it unexpectedly went back to silence.

okay, well, maybe he was a bit harsh today, he figured, you were sick after all so your reaction was valid.

alhaitham carefully sank himself further into the bed so you could perceive his warm body flushed against yours, his broad arm lazily falling over your waist, "okay, okay, i got the message."

whispering in defeat, you suppressed a giggle, cradling your head so you could look at him, "what do we say beforehand?"

the mock in your voice was evident and he did not mind, replying with a chaste kiss on your forehead, "i'm sorry."

— cyno

when it came to something as crucial as playing tcg with your boyfriend cyno, he always urged you to never hold back, to ruthlessly crush him with your cards.

most of the times your boyfriend would get quite competitive as well and you, in all honesty, did not mind. It was cute, really, how his face would slightly scrunch up whenever you were able to land a pivotal hit on one of his cards.

but what was a game .. without some additional fun tucked into it?

especially since cyno was overall a protective boyfriend, you'd love to tickle a new reaction out of him that you never experienced beforehand.

"it seems your cards aren't working well together."

he speaks volumes, two little dimples appearing on either side of his mouth as he chewed on the insides of his cheeks, concentrating and figuring out his next move to take.

"you're always so cruel to me, cyno."

you suddenly blurted out, adding a little mewl.

at this, his eyes abruptly widen in irritation, it wasn't particularly the sentence itself that made him struggle to comprehend what you just said, but the way you had phrased it.

"what?" he says at last, slowly tugging his cards to his body, "you never let me win!"

the contents of his mind have been pinned to your face, eagerly, attempting to decipher what the hell was going on right now.

"and i thought you love me, hm, whatever."

you quickly had to hide your face from him, biting back an evil laugh that was just about to spill when he laid his cards down the table.

"wait." he's panicking and for a moment, you felt bad for even playing this little trick on him, or, messing with his emotions, "of course i love you."

your fingers were playing with the hem of your shirt when you acted reluctant to answer.

"oh, that's awkward now."

your mouth split into a half grin, unable to prevent yourself from keeping up your devilish scheme but archons, cyno's face was priceless, he was absolutely bewildered, as if your words alone gave him serious whiplash.

"speak clear to me now."

his words dried in his throat, agonizingly slow, looking just as horrifying as if he was in the midst of working his occupation as a matra, fighting to the brink of utter death.

"when did you plan to tell me that you didn't harbor the same feelings for me after all?"

cyno couldn't feel his heart anymore, yet it was thrumming expressively under his ribcage. 

you breathe in and hold it, nostrils flaring, before you bursted out in a long laugh in front of him, hiding your mouth with the palm of your hand.

"i was just messing with you!"

needless to say, cyno, didn't find it hilarious at all, clicking his tongue while aiming to get up from his seat when you were quick to jump out of your own, dipping him back into the cushions.

"i'm sorry!" you nervously hugged him, tightly wrapping your arms around his neck, "don't be mad."

if only you weren't so sweet or the love of his life then maybe, he could've stayed mad, or at least lectured you about your wrong doings.

but cyno, did not speak at all, rather did he draw himself into you before leaning in to meet your eyes, propping his chin on your shoulder.

"you're a menace." he exhales with a shuddery laugh, shaking his head in disbelieve and rubbing his eyes awake.

the look of deep concern was still vividly noticeable when he danced his hand over your back soothingly, "now's the time." he suddenly words to you, imploring the obvious with his lips barely moving an inch.

"the time for what?" you were confused, lightly pinching his cheek.

"to say it back." he gazes up, his eyes softening like liquid fire, "you forgot to say it back."

©2023 anantaru do not share, copy, translate any of my work

[hawkinsbnbg]

Steve was a good friend, so he decided to show Eddie—a virgin—the rope.

nsfw, edging, masturbation, voyeurism (not sure about this one but rather be safe than sorry)

It started out like this:

They were both smoking in Eddie's bed and talking about everything and nothing at all. Just a picture of two friends chilling out together.

But maybe something had gone sidetracked, because Steve had turned to look at him and asked calmly.

"Are you a virgin?"

There was no warning, nothing for Eddie to brace himself for that kind of question. So with a loose tongue and heavy eyelids, Eddie had nodded.

"Yeah, sex is overrated anyway, man."

And that was it. They moved on to different topics after Steve just hummed noncommittally in response.

A few days later, they were back in Eddie's bed again but before he could light his joint, he was asked to show Steve his cock.

As confused as Eddie was, he didn't ask any questions but complied because he was weak to doe-eyes and a pretty face.

And unfortunately, Steve was the combination of both.

So, he just put his joint away for later use, unbuckled his pants, and pulled his cock out, already half-hard just by the idea of Steve watching him.

"Fuck," Steve breathed out softly, eyes tracing the girth and length of Eddie without shame.

Eddie squirmed slightly, not knowing why Steve reacted like that.

"Uhm, is there a problem?" Eddie asked uncertainly.

"No," Steve finally met his gaze, dilated pupils almost eating up the hazel. "Just... I know you’re big, but not this big."

Eddie blushed. "Well, is that a thing?"

"Is that a thing?" Steve mimicked his perplexed tone and snorted. "Jesus. Yeah, Munson. You're fucking hung and girls really dig it."

Eddie wanted to ask, "Does it also include you?"

But he bit his tongue before he could blurt it out. Instead, he said, "So, what are we gonna do now?"

Steve smiled at him, pretty and a little mean, "We're gonna teach you how to not come prematurely so you won't be laughed at for it."

Eddie was quite sure he only complained to Steve about that problem one time. Like months ago when he had been high off his ass and unable to see straight.

He had assumed that Steve must've forgotten all about it by now. But apparently, the younger boy had a better memory than he thought.

"How?" Eddie frowned in bafflement, half anticipating and half afraid of what was to come.

"You're gonna jack off," Steve answered casually, as if the sky was blue and Eddie wasn’t having his cock out in the air. "And when you're close, I'll tell you to stop. We'll keep going until your endurance improves."

"Wait, isn't that–" Eddie spluttered.

He wasn't an idiot. He had read too many skin mag to not know what it was.

"Yeah," Steve nodded calmly. "I know, but edging does help cases like this. I've done my research, Munson."

There were too many things to unpack from that one sentence and Eddie certainly was too sober for it.

So he filed it away to the back of his mind to visit it later when he wasn't both turned on and embarrassed by Steve's insane proposal.

"Do you want me to help you or not?" Steve cocked his eyebrow when he remained silent too long.

And wasn't that a million-dollar question?

Because Steve was sitting on his bed, asking to watch him jerk off, and expecting his brain to not fucking combust.

"Okay," Eddie exhaled shakily and looked up to meet Steve's waiting gaze. "When do you want to do it?"

"Whenever convenient for you," Steve shrugged like he hadn't been eyeing Eddie's half-boner until it filled out and started leaking steadily between them.

Before Eddie could second guess himself, he shimmied out of his pants and boxers. Then, under Steve’s watchful gaze, he wrapped his hand around his cock and started pumping.

He closed his eyes, head knocking back and mouth dropping open in silent moans.

It didn't take long, much to his humiliation, when Eddie felt the telltale tingles prance down on his spine. He was gonna–

"Stop."

Eddie's hand fucking stopped and he had to yank it away from his cock or he was gonna spill just from a small contact.

He shook his head at Steve. "I can't–"

"It's alright," Steve grabbed his hand and guided it back to his throbbing cock. "I know you can do it, Eddie."

Jesus Fucking H. Christ.

The look Steve gave him was so different from before, so soft and so tender.

At that moment, Eddie knew he'd do anything Steve asked him to.

And he was also pushed closer to the edge because of it.

"I'm sorry–"

Steve acted too quickly. One second he was holding Eddie's wrist, one second later he was grabbing Eddie's balls.

"Wha–" Eddie groaned out loud when Steve squeezed them, causing his cock to wilt immediately.

"The fuck are you doing, Harrington?!" Eddie moaned and glared at Steve.

"I'm helping you," Steve answered matter-of-factly, but his eyes gleamed with mischief. "In case you forgot, Munson, we're training you to hold out longer than one minute. It'd be for naught if you come right now."

"You're evil," Eddie mumbled, but secretly hoped that Steve wouldn't stop holding his balls. He could already see himself jerking off to this very moment later.

"I'm just being a good friend," Steve snorted and retreated his hand. "Go on. Pick up from where you left off."

And Eddie obeyed.

He stroked his cock slower this time, hand moving with more purpose, teasing the sensitive slit, squeezing the flushed tip, spreading the slick along the rigid shaft.

He grunted, sighed, and moaned, letting out small noises that were just a bit more breathy.

He bucked his hips and started thrusting, wanting to show Steve that he had the potential, that he could fuck Steve the same way he was pistoning into the loose hole formed by his hand.

His performance was cut short, however, when he was close again, too keyed up to last more than a minute.

It was hard to ignore those hooded eyes when they felt like a physical touch on him.

As predicted, Eddie wasn't allowed to come.

Every time, Steve would tell him to stop again and again and again until he was desperate for relief. Every time Eddie failed to halt his movements in time, the younger boy would aid him by gripping his balls painfully.

It was a bittersweet torture.

Eventually, Eddie couldn't hold back anymore and shot despite Steve's order.

"Fuck, shit, m'sorry, m'sorry," Eddie babbled as he experienced the most intense orgasm in his life.

He convulsed and fisted his cock, seeing stars beneath his eyelids as he tried to drive out the high.

The overwhelming pleasure rendered him speechless, making his head spin and his body tremble. He felt like his brain had liquified and streamed out from his ears.

By the time Eddie regained his senses, he was handed tissues and a water bottle.

Once done with wiping himself down, he took a long gulp from his bottle before grinning at Steve, "That was really something, man."

"You tell me," Steve huffed out a laugh that echoed by Eddie.

They sat in companionable silence until Eddie cleared his throat slightly.

"So I finally lasted longer than one minute."

"Yeah," Steve patted his arm lightly. "Good job for that."

"Thanks," Eddie ducked his head to hide the blush on his cheeks.

"It's nothing," Steve smiled at him kindly. "You really outdid yourself, Eds."

Eddie's stomach felt warm and fuzzy at that. "So what's next now I passed your test?"

Moving closer, Steve hooked a finger under his chin to make him look into those hazel eyes.

"Next time, we're gonna do it with my hand."

Eddie took in a sharp inhale. "You're not joking, right?"

"No, not with you," Steve chuckled lowly.

The sound rattled Eddie down to his bones.

"And what's about next next time?" Eddie couldn't help himself. God dammit.

If all of this was just a dream, he was gonna rip God a new one. Because fucking Jesus.

"Eager, aren't we?" Steve arched his brow. "But I think you already figured it out by yourself."

Eddie groaned and reached down to squeeze the base of his cock. It seemed to be quite eager with what Steve suggested.

"Can we just do the second test right now?" Eddie licked his lips, knowing full well that he wouldn't last long, but he’d be damned if he didn't give it a shot.

Steve just laughed and patted his cheek lightly. "Nah, today's enough. We'll continue tomorrow."

"Promise?" Eddie asked hopefully.

"Yeah," Steve pecked the corner of his lips. "Promise."

And Eddie knew he was gonna set up a one-hundred-step plan to woo Steve Harrington however impossible it was.

[xxventiswindblumexx]

Hi there love! If you have time, could you write a Scaramouche x fem reader, where they hate each other so much, and then he fucks her till she can't speak anymore. W Dom Scara. Have a good day!

Of course! Trying to get back into writing after a long hiatus due to family and home issues!

Here's a hate fucking scara x fem reader NSFW!

Can't forget to tag my local scara simp @hitomisuzuya ❤

⚠WARNING:Hate fucking, harsh/rough love, scara being scara, breeding kink, pet kink⚠

It was late at night as the storm in Inazuma rolls, thunder strikes as the wrath of the Electro Archon could be felt in the air, even more so in the delusion factory where a certain harbinger resided. Scaramouche was appointed to watch over the factory, one of the very last things he wanted to be stuck with, maybe he should've been more.. friendly during the harbinger banquet, maybe then he couldn't gotten out of it, regardless he had a duty to uphold and another idea on his mind.

As the puppet thought he could hear the distant sound of fighting, great, the traveller Y/N arrived, how annoying. just what he needed, another annoyance, already had enough he had to work with the Doctor and Childe, now he must be rid of the traveller.

He waited for her to arrive to his domain, it was only a matter of time before she arrived and of course he would relish seeing her fall, but that's not what fate had in store for the two.

Y/N entered the room alone, she decided this was a fight even Paimon couldn't go with, a fight between her.. and the Balladeer.

"How dare you use people's lives for your profit!" she started, hand gripping her sword with nothing but vengeance for her dear friend. Scaramouche couldn't help but eat up the look, the anger, he loved it. wait.. loved it? no he can't get distracted.

"oh? did your pathetic friend die from it? must've been to weak.. like you" he laughed, only antagonizing the hero more, what he didn't expect was for her to attack already, coming at him with her sword he was able to grab her arm and deflect it, shoving her to the floor, he's much faster then her, with the power of electro he can move faster then she can blink. Once on the ground he stomped on her wrist making her drop the sword, hissing she clawed at his ankle but it was no use, he had her pinned.

His electric gaze sent shivers and strangely arousal through her as she gave him a scowl

"give up yet pest?" he hissed, arousal and anger was filling the air, "I can see you're ready to fight back and prove your worth" He continued his actions of stomping on her wrist again, "that means you have some backbone" he growled as Y/N struggled to get back into her feet

"What I have is not something I care to brag about" she said in return angerly, however when the two got close, scaramouche slamming her into the floor once more but this time holding her down with his hands, her legs on either side putting them in a situation, she could feel his hard on, something he tried to ignore, pathetic human emotions, he would say, but now its gotten him in a bind. "I wouldn't have guessed the Balladeer would get hard from this" she scowls causing his face to flush with both embarrassment and anger, but he couldn't deny the feeling, "or maybe I do know who you are, your true form" She snarls in disgust at him.

"And what might that be" he says with venom. Y/N smirks and sits herself straight up, she's getting more cocky now, and honestly it wasn't helping his already poor self control

"you're just a touch starved, horny angry man aren't you?" she remarks, snapping the last bit of restraint he had, growling he was determined to put this scum in her place

"I'll teach you to respect me, even if I have to break you over and over" he hissed beside her ear, biting harshly on her neck, his hips pushed forward causing her to gasp, a sharp moan leaving her throat as she squirmed in pleasure, she hated him and he hated her yet.. for that reason, they made each other stronger, the balladeers strength, their passion, they complemented and created each other.

Once started they knew they couldn't stop, his hands selfishly grabbing and pulling at her clothing, growls and groans filled the air as they moved around each other's bodies in a way they never thought possible. Her body was soft beneath his rough touches and gentle kisses, her breath coming in gasps and his lips on hers felt like heaven yet hell at the same time.

Once he pulled her clothing off he shoved her onto her stomach, taking control as the god he is, his cock throbbing against her wet pussy as he laughs at her submission, even if she was still struggling, he was the dominate one here, his tip flushed and leaking with precum as he pushed it against her entrance "fucking beg for me like the whore you are" he hissed, she resisted but she couldn't deny the throbbing need, weakly begging "please.. f-fuck! please just fuck me!" shamelessly begging before his thick cock slammed into her pussy, growling as his hands gripped her hips hard enough to cause his nails to scratch the skin, he thrusted hard and fast hitting her sweet spot, moaning loudly as her walls clenched around him, the feeling driving him insane. He pulled himself off from her slowly and threw away his discarded clothes, now fully naked he held her wrists above her head, assuming a new position before pressing his body onto hers, he thrusting hard and deep causing her to whimper, her pussy clenching around him as he mercilessly fucked into her, claiming her as his own.

"F-fuck! you're so damn tight, i-its like you want me to breed you don't you? " he hissed in a teasing tone, she groans as his hand tighten it's grip on her already sore wrists, his cock throbbed with need to release as she felt a knot began to tighten, causing her to cry out his name. He thrust harder until she cries with her orgasm, causing him to release his cum deep inside of her, she writhed under him, crying out in pain and pleasure as his cum filled her womb, his dick still buried within her pussy and balls.

"You're mine now little one, you belong to me and only me, " he murmured softly as she felt weak, he had almost forgotten his plan, nevertheless he had to make changes anyways, he can't just let her get in his way again.. maybe he can keep her as his pet.

[athanza]

Starlett - Part 3

Cooper Howard/fem!OC (not self-insert)

Tags: Hurt/comfort (sort of?), non-allowed romantic connection, lots of tention, pre and post war drama, some fluff

Warnings: Mentions of domestic abuse (no graphic scenes or descriptions of that nature), angst, canon wasteland violence

This branches out from canon but I thought it was a cute story idea so I had to write it. Enjoy! ♡

Part 1 | Part 2 | Final part

2296

Suddenly Irene looked unsteady and she held a hand to the wound on her side.

"Fancy seein' you here." She chuckled painfully.

"I know, I haven't changed a bit."

She laughed but immediately regretted it, groaning in pain.

"You uh," she said, blood dripping down her leg. "you wouldn't happen to have a stimpak on you would ya? I'm uh...I'm not feelin' too hot."

He looked her over, the gash was deep, she'd need more than one stimpak. "Unfortunately I don't think I do."

Suddenly her legs gave out from underneath her and she collapsed.

"Whoa." He said, catching her before she hit the ground.

Irene woke up hours later, lying on her back in what looked like a small cave, her head resting on a saddle bag.

She didn't look any different than she did before the war, albeit a little dishevelled, Cooper figured that however Moldaver survived must've been how she did.

"Coop." Irene croaked.

He looked up from cleaning his revolver and saw her try to move.

"Easy there Starlett, you're pretty banged up."

She winced in pain again and lay back down. "I thought you were dead." She said, weak from the blood loss.

"I should be. So should you."

"Fate had other plans I guess."

Cooper scoffed quietly. She didn't press it, even though she wanted to know if Janey made it.

"You're gonna need some proper medical attention." He said. "Ain't much out here though."

"Eh, it's just a scratch." She joked, swallowing a mouth-full of blood.

Cooper got up and handed her a flask of water, half empty. She took a few sips and handed it back.

"I'm lookin' for Lee, you know where I can find 'er?

"I've been looking for her myself, I'm afraid I can't help you there, I've found nothing but dead ends. The bitch is hard to find even in a fucking desert."

He smiled a little at the very different tone coming out of her mouth than he remembered; she must've been in the wasteland for a little while, at least.

"I'm glad I found you cowboy. You're about the only fond memory I've got left. I needed that right about now."

"I'm not the man you remember."

"Doesn't matter. You've reminded me of something I haven't seen in years."

"And what's that?"

"Kindness."

2077

The doorbell rang and Cooper opened it to find Irene looking remarkably understated compared to her shows, but she still had that aire of grace that she always carried with her no matter where she was.

"Come on in." He smiled, stepping aside for her.

"I can't thank you enough for letting me stay, I know its a lot of ask of someone you just met."

"It's the least I can do."

He closed the door and took her suitcase for her.

Janey appeared with Roosevelt, having been playing in the backyard and Cooper gestured to her.

"Irene, this is my daughter Janey. Janey this is Irene, the friend from work I was telling you about."

"Irene Taylor!?" She said, her eyes sparkling. "I've seen you on TV! Your voice is sooo beautiful! You definitely should have won the award on last month's show."

Irene and Cooper both laughed.

"Looks like you have a fan."

"That's very kind of you." Irene smiled sweetly.

"Janey, why don't you watch some cartoons while I show Irene to her room?"

"Ok." She beamed and sat down with Roosevelt in front of the TV.

Irene followed Cooper to the back of the house where the guest room was and looked at all the family photos as they walked through. Wedding photos, Janey's baby photos, a puppy photo of Roosevelt. When they finally reached the room she felt even more uncomfortable.

"This is you." He said, placing her suitcase on the bed.

"I'm so sorry to put you in this position Mr. Howard, I do appreciate it very much. I didn't know who else to come to."

"Don't worry about it." He smiled warmly. "I'm just glad you decided to leave."

"So am I. You made me realise the cause wasn't worth the abuse, no matter how much I told myself it was. Lee won't be happy but it'll be worth it in the end."

"I'm sure it will."

She smiled softly at him. "I'll let you get back to your daughter. You'll barely know I'm here."

"Nonsense," he said. "You're joining us for dinner, plus I'm sure Janey would love to spend some time with you."

She got choked up a bit at that. Everything she had done since getting into show business had been for other people, someone doing something like this for her was something special.

"Thank you Mr. Howard."

"Cooper." He replied.

2296

Irene lay sleeping and Cooper sat wondering what to do with her.

He couldn't spare any resources, and he didn't need stimpaks, so he had none. Could he carry her to Filly and get her to a doctor? Sure, but that was in the opposite direction of where he was headed, where they were both headed.

It would be more humane to shoot her now to save her the pain, but he couldn't bring himself to do it and it angered him.

"Fuck." He said, getting to his feet and picking up his gun, walking out of the cave in search of supplies.

[swiftiewillwrite]

caramel iced coffee -

a spencer agnew fanfic

pairing - spencer agnew x reader

warnings - none! slight anxiety for like a paragraph :)

a/n - hello!!! ive written a ton of fanfics but only published two, and this is my first published on tumblr! hope yall enjoy !!

You stand behind the counter, muscle memory making your fifth pumpkin spice latte in a row. Oh, how you love fall. Even during your least busy time of day, you still get to spend what feels like forever on overly complicated drinks.

You hand the last one to a teenage girl, looking very apologetic. You give her a smile.

“Next!”

Woah. the man who now stands in front of you was definitely gonna fuck up your work day. He wore thinly framed round glasses and had messy curly hair, plus a beard that you found all too attractive. You attempted to compose yourself. “What can I get you?”

The man stared blankly for a moment, then responded. Must've not gotten a lot of sleep last night. “Uh.. what do you recommend?”

“Oh! I guess I'm kind of a sucker for anything caramel, do you want something hot or cold?”

“Really just make me your favorite, I haven't done this in a while.”

“What, ordered coffee?” you joked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes.”

“Ooh-kay, name for the order?”

“Spencer.” (god, why is it always the s names?)

“Alright Spencer, that will be 5 bucks, just tap or swipe or do whatever, and I'll have that ready for you in just a minute.” you smile, not letting the customer service voice falter, ignoring the unholy visions of what you wanted this man to do to you invading your mind.

You set to work on another overly complicated drink. Usually you would be complaining your ass off to yourself right now, but youre the one who subjected yourself to this. You're too weak when it comes to cute customers.

Working alone on slow days was your favorite kind of shift, because you got to play your own playlist. Today, that was a bit more of a curse as you notice Spencer humming along.

As you placed the lid on the cup, you looked up to the booth where he was waiting. He looked away immediately, as if he had already been staring. You hoped that he was.

Walking out from behind the counter, you set the cup on the table in front of him. “Here you go,”

He smiles softly, uttering a soft thanks. You made your way back to the counter, watching from a distance as he collected his things and walked out of the cafe.

God, you had never wanted a new regular more.

—

The next morning, he was back. Looking up at the door as the bell rang, you saw him once again. Spencer was wearing a graphic tee, revealing tattoos you hadn't seen yesterday. You felt a smile creep up your face, but a pit form in your stomach with no discernible cause. Before you could get too lost in thought, though, Spencer was at the counter, ready to order.

"Hey,” you smiled, “Are you ready to order for yourself today, or want another surprise?”

He let out a soft laugh, a sound that made your heart leap out of your chest. “If it isn't too much of a burden-,” he started, the last word dripping with sarcasm. “-I would enjoy a surprise drink.”

You sigh dramatically, “Fine,” drawing out the word with childlike brattiness. “Here or to go?”

Spencer said something he never could have if actual thoughts were going through his head:

“Here, but only if you sit with me while I drink,”

Holyshitholyshitholyshit- “Keep trying, maybe you'll get there eventually. Your total is 5.25.” You joked, a smile on your face covering your internal freak out over the fact that you just rejected the hottest guy you had ever seen.

And try he did. Every day, without fail, he came into your cafe, ordered his usual (your usual) and asked you to sit with him. And every day, you were too afraid to say yes.

"Are you sure that you don't want something new?”

“Give me the drink, please.”

You raised your eyebrows at him, but got to work making his drink. For the first time in three weeks, he stayed near the counter as you made it. As you let the coffee brew, you leaned on the counter, looking at him.

“So.. why are you always here so early? Like; this is earlier than all my other usuals,”

“You have other usuals? Wow, and I thought I was special,”

“Yes, I have other usuals. But you might be a favorite.” you smiled at him softly, and he returned the look. “Answer my question, though. Why are you here at like.. Six every day? How early do you work?”

Spencer looked slightly uncomfortable, then spoke. “I actually don't have to be there until 10 most days.”

“Hmm?”

“Well, I work at this Youtube comedy company, and so the first time I came here was a shoot week, so I did have to be at work by 7 to set up. It's just that when that week ended… I decided to just always get here early.”

“Wait, what company? Also, why? Why not just come later?” you questioned, trying to silence the hopeful voice in your head saying that you were the reason he kept coming back.

“It's less busy at this time. I get to actually talk to you.” What.

“Oh.. that's really sweet, man.” Man? Why would you say that- “I like talking to you too. So where do you work?”

Spencer looked slightly reluctant, but you tried to not read into it. “It's called Smosh,”

You perked up. “No shit? I was obsessed with Smosh when I was younger. Like- I got home from school every day and immediately pulled up whatever was posted that day,” you notice him looking down, and poke his arm, near a tattoo of a thwomp. “Why didn't you want to tell me?”

Spencer looks up at you. “Hmm?”

“You tried to change the topic. What's up?”

He purses his lips, then softly says “I didn't want that to be the only reason you like me. Or- like talking to me. Sorry.”

You open your mouth to respond, to tell him his worries were wrong, but are interrupted by the sound of the bell on the door. You look up and see your favorite coworker. “Hey Zoë! Can you watch the counter for like.. Two minutes for me?”

She raised an eyebrow at you and the man standing next to you. “It's about to get really busy.”

“I know, I know, just- please?” you looked at her, and she must've seen the desperation in your eyes, because she responded-

“Fine. Just be back soon. Love ya.”

You looked at her like she had just saved your life, and turned back to Spencer. “Wanna talk at a table?” Spencer just looked at you like you had grown a second head, but nodded. When you sat down, you started talking again. “I really like talking to you. And I did before you told me you have my childhood dream job. I like your humor and your laugh and your hair. I like your taste in music and movies and I like you.”

Spencer took a moment to collect his words. He couldn't find any, so he just leaned across the table and kissed you. A million thoughts raced through both of your heads, until you heard Zoë cough at you from behind the counter, and pulled away.

“Sorry.” Spencer apologized. You shook your head with a smile, and asked if you could put your number in his phone. He handed you the device, and you pondered for a moment before you put your name in as ‘beautiful sexy perfect human’. You texted yourself a “hey” from his phone, and added his name as ‘spenner’. He took his phone back, immediately letting out a “Shit! I have to get to work.” When he saw the time, and standing up to leave.

You frowned, but as he walked out and let the door close behind him, you sent him a simple two word text.

spenner

bye cutie

He was still close enough that you could see him smile through the window when he opened his phone. You turned to the counter to get back to work, when Zoë asked you:

“Was that Spencer Agnew?”

[unclewaynemunson]

'I don't even know anymore why I wanted to do this in the first place! What if I'm terrible at kissing, Nance? I've never kissed anyone, I have no idea how to do it! And Vickie had a boyfriend, a boyfriend who was in college, she must've gotten tons of practice, she'll definitely know what she's doing! She's gonna want to kiss me tomorrow, I'm sure! And it's not like I don't want to kiss her, I do, but what if I mess up? Or what if I'm spectacularly, irredeemably bad at it? What do I do? She'd never wanna see me again and I'd have to move states because she'll tell everyone how bad I am at kissing and nobody's ever gonna wanna date me again and –'

'Please stop talking,' Nancy finally says. This rant has been going on for over two minutes and she can't take any more of it. 'Sit down. Take a breath. You'll be fine.'

Robin does exactly what she says, flopping down on the edge of Nancy's bed while finally breathing again for what feels like the first time ever since the two of them walked into Nancy's room earlier.

'First of all, Vickie is clearly crazy about you, so it'll be very hard to mess this one up.' Nancy tries to ignore the uncomfortable feeling in her stomach when she says those words. All she wants to be is supportive of Robin, it doesn't make sense that she feels like smashing things every time she envisions her friend finding happiness with Vickie. She should be better than this.

'And second,' she continues, 'Nobody is irredeemably bad at kissing. That's not a thing. I'm sure you'll do great.'

'You can't know that!' Robin sputters. 'I might be the first person ever! Somebody's got to be!'

'Want me to teach you?'

'Wha- What?'

At least Robin is quiet now, but man, one look at her face tells Nancy that this was a terrible idea. There's no going back now, though.

'Me and Barb used to practice kissing all the time,' she says, trying to go for casual with a little shrug of her shoulders - no need for Robin to know that that's not exactly true.

Robin is still staring at her like she's just sprouted a second head.

'Nance,' is all she says, her voice all weak and quiet.

And something in the way she sounds is making Nancy forget entirely that this was a bad idea. It speeds up her heartbeat and makes her want nothing more than to be the one who gets to teach Robin how to kiss. That's what friends are for, right?

Nancy goes to sit down right next to Robin, their legs touching.

'We don't have to,' she says, giving Robin an easy out. 'I just thought it could ease your mind, knowing you won't mess up with Vickie.'

'You'd be okay with – kissing a lesbian?'

Nancy shrugs again, trying to feign the confidence she certainly doesn't feel in this moment. 'Yeah, why not?'

'Okay. Alright. Let's do this,' Robin says, sounding like she's gearing up for a big soccer match instead of practicing kissing. 'Teach me everything you know, master.' It sounds just a little bit jeering and she wiggles her eyebrows as she says it, and somehow, that makes Nancy oddly nervous.

Nancy swallows. It's definitely a bad idea. But then why does it feel like an undoubtedly good idea?

'Okay,' she starts to explain, 'It's all about patience. About build-up. If you were about to go on a date with a guy, my advice would be to wait. Always wait until he leans in, that's how it's supposed to go, right? But I guess with two girls, you'd both be waiting forever, so that'd be useless.'

'So... Don't wait?'

'See how it goes,' Nancy advises. 'If she's giving you a certain look... You go for it. Lean in. Slowly, you're gonna want to take your time, remember the build-up.' She starts leaning towards Robin, but Robin immediately leans back.

'Wait, wait, wait,' she blurts out. 'What do you mean by “look?” How do I know if she's giving me a “look”?' There's something bordering on panic in her eyes and Nancy automatically grabs her hand to calm her down.

'You'll recognize it when it's there, I promise,' she says. 'It's something like... Like she's expecting something from you. Something like this.' She widens her eyes a little bit and tilts her head upwards, closer to Robin's.

'Oh,' Robin breathes out. 'Yeah, I – I guess I'll recognize that. That's –' She clears her throat. 'So then I lean in?'

'Yes,' Nancy mumbles. 'You lean in, but not all the way, you gotta give her the opportunity to reciprocate. So you start leaning in, you wait until she does the same, and then you'll kiss her. And if she starts leaning in, you lean towards her, and then wait for her to cross the rest of the distance.'

'That's a lot of rules.'

'It's easier than it sounds. I swear. C'mon, lean in.'

Robin swallows visibly, and Nancy realizes that she never let go of Robin's hand when the place where their palms are touching is getting sweaty. It doesn't bother her enough to pull her hand back, though.

Before she starts leaning in, Robin licks her lips - and suddenly Nancy can't see anything else than that: she's wearing magenta colored lipstick and her tongue looks pink and soft, and the weird thought comes to Nancy that she wouldn't mind finding out what it feels like to have that tongue exploring her mouth. But before she can stop to unravel that thought, Robin leans a few inches closer and Nancy brings her focus back to the task at hand.

'Close your eyes,' she whispers as she answers by leaning into Robin's space, too.

Robin abruptly pulls back. 'Then how can I see if you're leaning back in?!'

Nancy can't stop a giggle escaping from her throat; Robin pulls her hand out of Nancy's to give her a painful jab between her ribs.

'Don't laugh at me!'

'Wait, no, I wasn't laughing at you!' Nancy rushes to say. 'I'm sorry. I won't laugh. It's just- you were kinda cute about it.'

The words leave her mouth before Nancy's brain can catch up. For a moment, she wonders if this is how Robin feels all the time around Vickie, blurting out things she doesn't want to say but can't seem to stop herself from doing.

'Okay.' Robin takes a deep breath, the rosy color fading from her cheeks again. 'Let's try again, then.'

'Just – close your eyes as soon as you see me leaning, alright?'

'Alright.' She nods. 'Here we go.' She shuffles on the bed, then catches Nancy by surprise when she rests a hand on Nancy's knee.

'I lean in,' she says softly before she starts doing just that.

'You don't have to announce it,' Nancy points out with a smile.

'Okay, alright.' Robin makes a dorky gesture like she zips up her mouth and clears her throat again. Then, she leans towards Nancy... Nancy lets herself be pulled towards Robin as if there's a magnet between their mouths... She watches Robin's eyes fall shut and follows her example...

And suddenly, Robin's lips are on hers. They're soft; it all feels much softer than when she'd kiss Steve or Jonathan...

It only takes a few seconds until Nancy pulls back. She gives Robin an encouraging smile.

'That's great,' she establishes. She somehow still feels the heat of Robin's mouth against her own, like a phantom touch lingering on her skin, something she can't quite shrug off. 'Perfect first kiss. You have nothing to worry about.'

'That's all?' Robin asks; it sounds confused.

'Oh no, this was just the beginning,' Nancy explains. 'Like I said, it's all about the build-up. For the first kiss, this is it. Then, if it's as good as this one, you'll both want more. So you'll give each other a smile and make sure your lips find each other again. You don't need all the steps of leaning in, you already know you want to kiss each other at this point – unless one of you takes a step back after you stop the first kiss, then you know that no second kiss is gonna follow.'

'So if I like it, don't take a step back.'

Nancy nods. 'Don't take a step back. Don't let go of the points where you're touching her.'

Robin's fingers twitch against Nancy's knee. It's very distracting, but Nancy tries her best to stay focused. She has a lesson to teach, after all.

'Okay. And then?'

'You both lean back in. And you...' Nancy pauses to think of a good way to describe it. 'You explore,' she settles on saying. 'You feel out each other's lips, and from there, you basically just go with what feels right. Get your tongues involved at some point – but not too much.' She adds that last part strictly. 'It should be... delicate. You start out soft, alright? Only when it starts to take longer, you can get more heated, take some more risks. Then you just feel out how she responds and you adjust to that.'

Robin is frowning, now. 'That sounds very complicated,' she remarks.

'Let's just try and see how it goes,' says Nancy in a reassuring voice.

They start from the top with Nancy's expectant gaze and taking their turns leaning in. Then, Robin's lips are against Nancy's again, just as soft as the first time.

When she pulls back, her eyes wander over Nancy's face like she's searching for something. It's a bit stilted, the way she's waiting for Nancy's body language to tell her if there's gonna be a second kiss.

'Should I go on?' Robin asks softly.

Nancy has to suppress another giggle while she nods.

'You don't have to ask that,' she whispers in the second it takes Robin to lean in again.

'Sorry,' Robin whispers back right before she presses her lips against Nancy's another time.

This time, her touch is firmer. Nancy can feel all kinds of little things, like the muscles built by years of playing trumpet and the way her breath ghosts against Nancy's cheek when she breathes out. She can taste the peppermints they'd been sharing earlier.

The bed creaks when one of them – Nancy doesn't even know who – shifts, and suddenly their bodies are pressed closer together, Robin's arms around her back and her own hands divided between Robin's shoulders and her waist. She can feel the shape of Robin's upper body where it's pressed against her own, so much softer than what she's used to feeling when kissing a boy, and she notices how they've unconsciously aligned their breathing. Their tongues find each other, gently, almost shy, and it oddly tastes like wanting more. It turns out Robin knows exactly how to suck on Nancy's lower lip just right, how to make heat course through her veins and get her hungry for –

Robin pulls back – and simultaneously pulls Nancy right back to earth. Her cheeks are bright red again and the look in her eyes is unsure.

'Was that okay?'

Nancy has to take a few seconds to blink, catch her breath and return to reality. The reality where they're friends, not lovers. The reality where they're two girls, practicing something that's not about them at all. The reality where she's helping Robin prepare for a date with Vickie, and very much not kissing her senseless or letting her explore every single inch of her mouth and possibly her body while sparks fly between them and every touch of Robin's fingers is setting Nancy on fire.

She nods.

'Yeah,' she manages to say. 'Yeah, that was – that was really good, Robin. Seriously, you're a total natural. If this isn't gonna blow Vickie's socks right off...'

Robin smiles. She gently bumps her shoulder against Nancy's. 'Thanks, Nance,' she says. 'I gotta admit: you've been a pretty okay teacher.'

Robin's lipstick has faded and there's a slight smudge of magenta in the corner of her mouth. Her hair is disheveled, just like the collar of her blouse, where Nancy apparently grabbed her without even noticing...

I did that, is the only feverish thought left in Nancy's brain. I made her look like that.

Read part 2 here

[moonflvver]

Drowning in You

character: Childe x Reader

warnings: angst (no comfort), nsfw(public-ish sex with no protection), Childe is kind of mean, mention of alcohol

a/n: This has been sitting in my drafts for an eternity and if I look it over one more time I might scream, enjoy.

w/c: 1935

The bar that you had entered was the only one open in Liyue this late. Getting a cold drink after you finally completed your commission had seemed like a good idea, but as you see a certain orange haired harbinger walk in you realize that you’ve made a mistake. How could you forget? This was Childe’s favorite haunt, one that he frequented after he spent hours completing paperwork at the northland bank. It must've slipped your mind, or maybe it was fate that brought the two of you back here tonight. It has been a year after all. A year since he ended things. Claiming that the two of you were incompatible, that he didn’t have time to waste on a relationship with you. He’d ripped your heart out and stomped on it. Leaving you in pieces. Nonetheless, it's not like you hadn’t seen this coming. A member of the fatui choosing you over the tsaritsa? The idea was borderline blasphemous and in the end of course he had chosen her over you. But there’s something so wrong with this picture. He looks…different. Like even more pieces of him have been lost to a darkness that you know nothing of. Childe has always been a master at crafting intricate masks to keep himself from being exposed and you recognize the remnants of the one he used to wear with you; but this new mask is shinier, more ornate. It has been polished to perfection and it reveals nothing that he doesn’t want it to. But beneath the surface, beneath the mask there’s something more. Underneath all of his posturing there exist multitudes, layers created by the years of trauma that he’s endured. Each one built over the other to create a skin so thick that nothing can pierce it. Nothing can reach his core. Not even you. No one gets to know who Ajax is. He isn’t willing to bare himself like that to anyone, he refuses to be made vulnerable. To be reduced to a naked, sniveling version of himself. Because he’s no longer that same weak boy. The child that once existed within him is gone, replaced only by an eerie darkness who’s battle-hungry soul cannot be satiated. He pushes down the parts of him that yell to be saved and instead turns his gaze on the next battle, the next game, the next slaughter for him to take part in. He craves the rush that the adrenaline provides for him. It's something akin to a drug and Tartaglia is nothing if not an addict. His recklessness is only spurred by this endless craving for more. More blood, more fights, more ways to put himself in danger. More ways for him to forget all that he is and always will be for just a moment. And that was the problem with your relationship.

You’d reach a hand out to him, desperately pleading. Begging him to accept your help and to allow you to take care of him because Archons did he need it. But he’d simply bat your hand away. He behaves like a cornered dog when you show him even the littlest bit of kindness, and he bares his teeth at you. He bites. No matter, it’s over now. You turn to your drink praying that he won’t notice you. A foolish notion considering that you’re the only person there besides him. Despite the amount of time that has passed since you last saw him you still feel that familiar pull towards him, and you’re sure that he feels it too. It’s something akin to the way that the moon controls the tides. And it’s that same pull that draws him over to you in this moment. “Y/n, long time no see.” There is no semblance of any emotion in his voice, save for the polite undertone that he’s straining to maintain. “Yeah I guess it has been a while, Tartaglia.” You say, venom dripping from your voice. Tartaglia, it almost sounds like an insult coming from you, but even he knows that it’s an empty one. You don’t have the heart to show him real cruelty. “I’ve missed you.” He says. Liar, you think. He misses having a warm body in his bed. All you wanted was a drink to blow some steam off after work, coming face to face with your ex wasn’t exactly what you had in mind. So you get up and start walking to the bathroom, hoping that he takes the hint and leaves you alone. But of course he follows you into the hallway.

He grabs your wrist. “Wait!” You pull free from his grip glaring at him. “You’re really going to tell me that you didn’t miss me?” He grins at you but it’s empty. His eyes are pools of darkness, a far cry from the brilliant blue that you used to drown in every time you’d look at them. Something must have happened, you think to yourself. He looks worse. You can see the blue-ish purple bags beneath his eyes. The exhaustion is evident on every part of his body. His muscles look tense, as if he hasn’t allowed himself to relax in ages. But it’s in that moment of silence while you’re scanning his features that he abruptly puts his hand on your cheek and he’s coming in closer now. Slowly enough to allow you to move away but of course you don’t. You lean into his touch. You always do, the pull is so hard to resist. And it’s that same pull that urges you forward, closing the gap between you and him. You’re feverish now at the mere thought of being able to feel his lips on yours. Then suddenly you’re crashing into him, the kiss is needy and full of desperation. You bring a hand up to his face pulling him in towards you. You had almost forgotten how soft his lips were, how good they felt against your own. You pull away first and the two of you are left breathless.

He’s offering you a piece of himself and of course you take it. Childe is your greatest vice, he’s impossibly addictive and a pain to quit so why go through the trouble of withdrawal when you can just give in. Once again you’re drowning in his ocean, it’s impossible not to. He pulls you in just like he always does and of course, you let him. There’s a momentary pause from him once you pull away, almost as if he’s unsure whether or not he’s overstepped and you see a flash of the man you once knew in the uncertainty that dances across his features for a moment. But then it’s gone just like that and you know that you should leave but against your better judgment you stay.  His gravitational pull is too strong for you to resist so of course you give in. You place your hand on the back of his neck, leading his lips to yours once again. This kiss is sloppier, it is all teeth and sparks that seem to be coming from your lips clashing together. His hand slides under your shirt groping at your breast, there’s nothing gentle about this. And there’s certainly nothing gentle about the way that he turns you so that your ass is pressed up against the bulge in his pants. Your face is up against the wall of the hallway and you offer your neck up to him. He sucks and bites with such vigor that you’re sure it’ll take weeks for the marks to disappear.

You wonder for a brief moment if you’ll get caught, but honestly you just can’t bring yourself to care. He’s still groping you like some hormonal teenage boy but it’s not enough for him. With no warning he pulls down your pants letting them fall to your ankles. And then you can hear his belt unbuckling as he pulls his heavy cock out of his boxers. Just the anticipation alone is making the wet spot between your thighs grow larger by the second. But then all at once he pushes aside your underwear and bottoms out with a single thrust. The burn that you feel as you struggle to accommodate him is a veritable mixture of pain and pleasure. You can’t stop yourself from crying out, which only encourages him to put a hand over your mouth whispering in your ear for you to shut up lest he leave you high and dry. Once he knows you’ll stay quiet he removes his hand from your mouth, instead opting to grab onto your waist as he thrusts into you roughly. “Childe someone’s going to catch us.” You mumble as your chest heaves. “I don’t care.” He says callously, punctuating each word with a thrust. His pace is causing your eyes to practically roll back into your head, and the way that the curve of his cock hits that spongy spot inside of you has you seeing stars. Archons this must be what heaven feels like. Childe’s head is in the crook of your neck and he’s breathing heavily into your ear, letting out only the occasional groan when he feels your walls clench around him.

His right hand has found its way down your front and he’s lazily rubbing circles on your clit with his thumb causing heat to build up in your core. You’re trying to brace yourself against the wall while he continues his relentless pace but your legs are starting to shudder, at this point you’re pretty sure that the only thing holding you upright is Childe. You’re so close to cumming and you’re sure he is too. His pace is becoming erratic, more desperate. He’s pulling you flush against his chest, trying to bring you closer, trying to melt into the feeling of you. And he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t missed this. The way that you become so pretty and pliant for him the second his cock goes into you, the way that you moan so sweetly when he hits your sweet spot over and over again. He wants to apologize for everything, he really wasn’t lying when he said that he missed you. But he can’t choose you over his country, you both know that. So if it means that this is the only way he can have you then fine. He’ll settle for fucking you in the hallway of some rundown bar any day.

As long as it means that he still gets to see you cock drunk, begging for more as he ruts into you like some wild animal giving into its basest instincts. You can feel your peak fast approaching. “Childe I’m close.” You breathe out. “Fuck, me too.” He responds, and then he hears you mumble “Cum with me Ajax.” And the saccharine dripping from your voice is enough to send him tumbling over the edge, hot white seed spilling inside of you as you clench around him. Your legs are shaking as the orgasm rips through your body and he fucks you through it. Your moans are muffled by the gloved hand that goes over your mouth and as the two of you come down Childe is peppering kisses down the side of your neck onto your shoulder. A mockery of the domestic moments that the two of you once shared together. But it doesn’t matter, you’ll take whatever he wants to give to you. Even if it means that he uses you like this, as long as you get to hold him that’s all that matters. 

[tonberry-yoda]

Dewdrops - Asra

notes - Asra brainrot bad dudes. He is so fine and I have been wanting to kiss him all week, so here's a lil fic lol. I hope you enjoy and stay hydrated!! <33 @thearcanagame yall should hire me to write arcana stories haha jkjk... unless tee hee word count - 538 ~~BUY ME A KO-FI (COMMISIONS ARE OPEN)~~

You woke up delirious, blinking rapidly to get the bright sun out of your eyes. The air felt different than usual. Humid. Cold.

You felt that you were somewhere familiar, but there was also something strange about it.

A dream. Yeah, that was the best way to describe it.

You still couldn't see, so you tried to sit up and block your eyes from the brightness above you. When you sat up, you felt something fall from you, like a weight. But it sounded like you were under water.

What was going on?

You were finally able to see a little bit better after a couple more blinks and saw that you were definitely somewhere dream like. And you looked like you were just lying in a pond.

You tilted you head and tried to stand up, but your legs were much to weak for that.

The water you were in, you noticed, changed from shades of purple to blue and even looked like there was glitter swirling at the bottom.

But what shocked you the most is when you turned next to you to find Asra fast asleep in the pond. There were dewdrops in his hair and falling from his lips.

How the heck did you two end up here?

"Asra." You tried lightly shaking him to wake him up, but nothing. "Asra! Hey, wake up!"

You watched his white eyelashes flutter open until they shut again, probably from the brightness of the sun, if that even was the sun.

You blocked it nonetheless and cupped Asra's face, wiping the water away from the corners of his eyes. "Asra."

His eyes finally opened and he smiled when he saw you. As he sat up - holding you in his lap - water dripped from his clothes and his body.

There was a dewdrop on his lip that looked rather kissable...

"Where are we?" he asked sleepily, rubbing his eye.

"No clue. I thought you would've known, almighty Master Asra."

"Ew," he giggled. "Don't call me that. Just... let me get my bearings. I should be able to tell."

You got off of his lap and tucked his wet hair behind his ear while he looked around.

You both knew where you were. A sprit realm of some kind. But how you got there was beyond you.

"A spell..." Asra slowly began to remember. "Hm. Must've hit us hard."

"You don't think it was me, do you?" you asked frantically.

"No, I don't think so. And even if it was, I guess fate was telling us we needed a nap. Either way," he stood up and stretched, reaching his hand out to yours. "We'll figure it out along the way. Let's get going, yeah?"

You nodded and took his hand, letting him help you up. Your legs were still weak, but with Asra's help, you would be fine.

"You have water on your lips." you told him cheekily.

"Oh? Than why not help get it off." he smirked.

You pressed your lips to his, licking of the water lightly. He held you by the waist and pressed his chest to yours smiling in the kiss.

He didn't have the heart to tell you that you messed up a spell.

~~~~~

the arcana masterlist | pinned post

2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

~~~~~

[petitprincess1]

A Numbness (Oc x Alastor ficlet)

The burning smell of cigarettes intertwined with sour booze and sweat from sex filled the little vixen's lungs. It was neither good or bad, but it was better than the nothingness she was feeling before. Her bushy, black-tipped tail traced the pebbles and shattered glasses along the sidewalk. A bit of wetness made her tail feel the slightest bit heavier. Was it entrails or just alcohol? She hardly cared as she breathed in her own acrid, cancer stick.

Why was she forlorn and so unfeeling? Well, for one, Hell can do that to any person, especially one that was traded away from paradise. Not only was she taken away, she was given to one that was even considered even a pox to these Sinners’ standards.

“Well, well, well, so this is were you've been hiding, little foxen. Not exactly a place quite near your standards, don't you think?” A snarl left the vixen's curled lips as she glared up at the blindingly red deer demon. Despite a streetlight shining down on him, the only thing that seemed to stick out was the forever condescending glow of his eyes.

Red on red in this bleak red world. Hell must've really tried to make The Great Alastor feel at home. She blew smoke in his direction and sighed, “I'm not hiding. Merely waiting for debris from an explosion…a drunkard driving…or maybe an impling getting too familiar with a gun.”

She heard the devil's tapping shoes as he sat down beside her. She murmured, “I don't remember inviting you.”

His jacket was placed around her shoulders as he strangely cooed, “No need, cherie. You're practically asking for attention. I was waiting for you to start blubbering like a banshee on top a chaise lounge~”

“Fuck you!”

“No thank you, I'm quite good,” Alastor cheerily chuckled, while the vixen stared at the cigarette burning between her fingers. If she let it continue, would it wake her from this coma? Unfortunately, she didn't get her answer as the demon took the stick from her, stuffing it out on the littered sidewalk.

A shuddering, weak breath escaped from the vixen, breaking the uncaring facade she was upholding. Al simply brought her close and shushed her, running his claws up and down her back. It was strange at how both soothing and frightening the sensation was. Nevertheless, she placed her face into his chest and quietly cried into it.

She started, “I-I…Why was I…I-”

Al shushed her more, “No need to try to understand what happened. It just has. More importantly, you should focus on what comes next, darling. So…what would you wish to do next?”

The fox pulled away a little, rubbed at her eyes, and sniffled, “I guess I wouldn't mind…walking?”

Alastor helped her to her feet and smiled quite earnestly, at least she thought so, “Now, that sounds like something. Who knows…maybe a drunkard will strike us both? Wouldn't that be quite the headline!”

She gave a small giggle. A pox in Hell with leftovers from Heaven. What else can one do but laugh? Perhaps, she can feel more than that numbness.

~~~

I was feeling a little sad today. So, I wrote this as a bit of a vent xP

[moodymisty]

So I had these sitting around for a bit and didn't have any use for them, so i just decided to clean it a bit and then post it. So here, two snippets of a nailsremoved!AU to be balm on the wound of the inevitable tragedy that is Angron. Apologies about any incohesiveness due to it's rough nature. I'm trying to get more confidence in my own writing and posting more of the ideas that I don't spend 80 years on.

Relationships: Angron/Fem!Reader (an AU of my 'stolen historitor' saga)

Warnings: None really apart from typical 40k talk and Angron's general existence

Snippet 1

The only word you can use to possibly describe it, is euphoric.

Never in a million years, in all of your hopes and prayers and desperate pleas, did you ever think it would even be possible. Even he hadn't; Though as with much of his life, he'd accepted his inevitable fate with the same despondent anger as with much else.

You shouldn't be awake, but you can't help but watch him for a moment.

Angron sleeps sitting. Perhaps its a remnant of his time in the gladiator pits. That would make the most logical sense to you, watching as his chin presses against his collarbone. He has one leg bent and one straight out, his left elbow resting on the bent one. He's prepared to fight, even in his sleep. Even his chainaxes are still within reach. You know if you even shifted towards them, they'd be in his hands within the blink of an eye.

But it's still odd to you, not seeing them. The nails were such a poignant, overt part of Angron's silhouette, that their removal has been an adjustment. It feels like a part of him is missing; In an odd sort of way.

You accidentally shift, and he opens his eyes. You smile at him.

He grunts. You snuffle closer to him and lay against his side, content to stay there for the time being. He doesn't remove you, so you assume it's fine.

You’re happy, but it’s bittersweet.

You know that while Angron no longer feels the full punishment of the nails against every other emotion but rage, that portions of the nails that couldn’t be removed; The pieces that replaced parts of his brain will always give him pain. To say that he is cured is laughable as like some sort of sick curse, he can have no relief in his life. A more accurate description would be that they neutered the Butcher’s Nails to give Angron some breathing room.

"Does it still hurt?"

You say softly, feeling his massive hand flop on your hip.

While there is no longer any nails for you to soothe, he does still feel as if your company gives him relief. Perhaps that's just another human emotion he's only just now been able to taste.

“No.”

You don’t know if he says it because it’s true, or he merely mistakes the neutering of pain as full relief it would make sense, given how long he’s lived with the nails; The pain becoming part of him and even its slight removal could feel like it was gone.

He could also just be lying. Though perhaps it would be more accurate to say refusing to show weakness. Someone like him won't simply admit that pain is affecting him. He'll never show his stomach to anyone, now matter how close you may be to him.

He stares at you. Hard. It’s always impossible to tell what he’s thinking until he inevitably says it.

“You worry too much.”

Your lips purse, and Angron grips your face not too hard, but hard enough to make your cheeks empty of air.

"I'm not the only one. I'm just the only one who admits it." The gladiator makes a disgruntled, irritated face and looks away.

Snippet 2

What an odd moment in time, Sanguinius thinks.

To imagine that out of all of his brothers, the one hailing from Nuceria would be the one to change so drastically. And to think they'd almost thought him lost.

Such is the nature of life, he guesses. For things to change so quickly. Even in their long lives it doesn't seem to slow down in the slightest.

Sanguinius looks across the massive room, watching the World Eater's Primarch interact with the only human he's given time of day. A question must've been asked, as they look up to him with a curiosity and Angron glances down to give an amused scoff.

It's barely there, but he sees it. It's just barely noticeable in the slightly softened look in his eyes. But the angel is keen, and catches it. He speaks up to either of the men in his presence, to neither in particular.

"I've never seen that man crack even the smallest smile. And it's been, what, three hundred years?"

Sanguinius' wings are fluffed, comfortable in the presence of two of his closest brothers. They've even seen Konrad smile; Though context proves to be a valuable marker in regards to him in particular. Magnus crosses his arms and looks towards Horus, not having heard him when the two of them exchanged an amused chuckle at Sanguinus' observation. Odd, for the Warmaster. Normally whenever he's in the Angel's company on Terra, it's hard to keep a laugh off of his lips.

"Have you, brother?"

Horus looks towards his brothers with a soft, charming smirk, one that fades ever so slightly as he looks to Angron. He thinks back, trying to remember a moment where the man hailing from Nuceria had ever shown anything but rage boiling just beneath the surface.

He lets out a soft chuckle when he comes up completely empty, and shakes his head.

"No, I don't think I have."

With all three in agreement Sanguinus makes some sort of lighthearted jest to Magnus at Angron's expense, looking away from the Warmaster for a moment. He doesn't let his perfect veneer drop, as he sees the old gladiator speak words not audible to him at you.

Horus watches for a moment longer, and then walks away.

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from today's writing, chapter 10 of Underline the Gold:

'No,' Anton said. 'I want to comfort you. But I also want to be clear that it's unfair of you to make it seem like my feelings are less because I've been with other omegas. I know you can't hhelp the jealousy, I know that, but you weaponise it to make it feel like what I'm giving to you now isn't real or meaningful. Did Vadim cheat on you?'  'Don't ask me that,' Flitmouse said. 'You can guess. Haven't I already said it before?' 'Did he?' The alpha persuasion was strong. Flitmouse sucked in a huge, awful breath. 'Yes.'  'I'm so sorry, Alois. I don't know how anyone could do that to you. Do you feel like me having partners in the past is the same?' 'Don't make me answer that. I know it's not.' 'I know, baby, you're really smart. But knowing something isn't like that, doesn't mean you don't feel the same way.'  Flitmouse didn't know he was going to cry about this. Didn't know this was something even worth crying about. His shoulders heaved in a weak sob, and Anton brought him closer, his knees drawing up protectively.  'Did he do it a lot?' Anton asked softly.  Flitmouse shrugged. 'I don't know what a lot means.' 'Okay. Um. Let me think. Well, if you ask me, once is too much. But let's say... did he start doing that early in the relationship? And with more than one person?'  Flitmouse wiped angrily at his face and nodded.  'Yeah?' Anton said, his voice sweet and soft. 'What a complete asshole. Hate that guy. That must've been really hard on you.'  'He started before he claimed me,' Flitmouse said brokenly. 'It was one of the things we fought about so badly at the beginning. And he... He... There was this time, oh, it's so stupid, Anton. But I found out he'd been cheating - this silly baby-faced omega who would have done anything for him - and I was going to leave him. I was packing my bags to leave him. So he claimed me. He bit me that day. Told me I couldn't leave. I had to- I had to learn my place. Had to learn an omega's place, you- you understand? I had to be made to learn. And he'd been so nice to me. He'd been so nice to me, for such a long time. It was the only thing for such a long time that I thought he did wrong, that he cheated, the only thing. I would have put up with it, I think I could have- Perhaps I could have, if he'd just apologised.' Flitmouse couldn't stop the crying now, his breaths coming in shaky jags, body shaking as he remembered one of the worst periods of his life that left him feeling dumb and dazed for two years after. Everything reforming around the claim on the back of his neck, and losing so many of his clients, because he vanished from social media for a few months.  'He'd been so nice,' Flitmouse sobbed. 'He had such a gentle smile, just for me. And he was so sweet, and he could be so...so tender. But you've met me, haven't you? I'm all- I'm all hard edges, and I make everyone else like that too.' 'Baby,' Anton said softly, sounding tortured. 

[terrence-silver]

Been thinking about twig being the boy version of Betsy in John eyes

---

Will do you one better:

Of course, this is just speculation and reaching on my part, as always, and we're free to throw ponderings like this into the trash bin, but what if Twig, or rather, a young Terry Silver in Vietnam reminded John Kreese of himself...that is, the way he used to be; a young boy, son of a single, mentally ill mother, fatherless, ostracized, slightly marginalized, left to fend for himself in a time where all of these things would come with extreme societal judgement and isolation? Because, consider, along comes this boy, this guy called Silver, and he sure as heck doesn't fit in either. The way Terry doesn't fit in and the way John didn't fit in back in the States are two totally different ways of not fitting in, but still. Not fitting in is still not fitting in and that sort of thing comes with baggage. Of course, they're from totally different forms of life, entirely diverse classes and they'd probably never even meet or even have a chance to interact if it wasn't for the military, but something about the fact that Terry was already a teensy-tiny bit otherized for his appearent lack of experience, how green he was, how young, how soft, how scrawny, how wide-eyed...well...something about that might've caused a part of John's brain to just click off. Perhaps consciously, perhaps subconsciously.

Could be the same reason he fixated on Johnny Lawrence as much as he did. Another boy who was initially maladjusted before he found Cobra Kai. Son of a single mother. Fatherless. Then, later, saddled with a possibly overbearing stepfather. You name it. Another reflection of John Kreese himself. They even had the same name.

Hey, lets take it a step further --- could be why he felt as protective as he did over Kim Da Eun. Over Tory. Another pair of people with, yeah, you guessed it, broken families, Tory lacking a father figure altogether, having an ailing mother, financial issues, a little brother she has to care for all while being a kid herself and Da Eun having no parents whatsoever we ever see in the first place. Only a grandfather that is physically and mentally abusive towards her.

See a pattern here?

I think John Kreese takes people who remind him of the way he grew up and he, the way he sees it, places them under his wing and does right by them by helping them. Mentoring them. Tutoring them. Guiding them. By being their hero. He wants to be their hero. He might think this sappy, wimpy snowflake world desperately needs that kind of thing even though it doesn't admit to it, yet, all the more reason why this old fashioned ideal is a necessity --- because a world that forgets and neglects its heroes and ideals is a world in decline. He sees himself as such. He sees himself as the embodiment of these true, genuine ways. He saves them, these individuals, in ways nobody was ever there to save him. Or his mother. He fathers weak, vulnerable people instinctually because he didn't have a father figure himself, or, in his own words, he gives them life because they didn't have a life before him ---- naturally, he is often times a toxic father figure, especially to the likes of Johnny or even Tory in ways, but a father figure regardless, and from his mind's eyes, considering the era he must've grown up in, it is still better than having no father at all, seeing as how John Kreese was undoubtedly forced to grew up too fast if we read between the lines. Probably couldn't have been easy taking care of a mentally ill mother and being the head (and breadwinner?) of the family simultaneously. John Kreese must've been the de-facto father of his own family unit from a very young age because he had no choice but to be, meaning that he could've matured prematurely. Could've developed this instinct to father people before he could develop anything else.

Along comes scrawny Terry Silver and John's desire to protect him is immediate because the instinct was there long before John ever even contemplated going to Vietnam, and this protective instinct is there not because Terry reminds him of the boy version of Betsy, but because both Terry and Betsy remind him of aspects of how John himself grew up. Betsy could've been the archetype of something deeply defensive connected to this mother. Women being abused. Ways he might've protected his own mother against harassment too. His protectiveness towards Terry? A reflection of himself and all maladjusted boys; the type of maladjusted boy John Kreese could've been too, once upon a time, in an age that bypasses memory by now. Except, this time around, things can be different --- he can save these people. He can be the father. He can win. He can and will make the weak strong. Be number one. He can be these people's champion and in turn, they'll be his.

He sees himself as their maker as well as their protector.

Which is why John Kreese feels so silently entitled to all of his people to degree he does in the first place.

He can come and go as he pleases.

Disappear without a word.

Return randomly.

Demand things.

Not demand things.

Reject things.

Be too proud to be ever helped.

Then ask to be helped in the next breath.

He's your creator. He's earned that right. Every right.

[privateanxieties]

forget my mercy, take my blame (chapter 4)

Summary: You are the same person you were a week ago, only now presenting as you truly are: hiding nothing, free of struggle. With your back to the sun and him before you, your eyes are black and resolute.

Words: 2.6K (graphic depictions of violence)

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SERIES MASTERLIST

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What do people think about in their final moments? 

You assume it depends on the amount of time they have, as well as the manner of death. People have disagreed on the subject of an afterlife for as long as they've been able to contemplate it, but the moment of death itself has seldom been the focus of debate. Of all the myriad ways that things can end, when the line is crossed and the numbers are tallied, you suppose anyone would say that all death, each one that has ever been and ever will be, is either violent or lucky. 

If there is struggle, there is violence. If there is not, a person is asleep, much like Sam is as you peer down at him. 

It's been interesting, this night, but as dawn looms over the horizon, your mood darkens almost in revolt. You can neither do this the way you would have back at the house, nor summon enough derangement to keep him in storage until nighttime returns in a little over seventeen hours, even if the setting permits a bit of mania. The desert looms over Tule Valley, shadowed by white rocks to the North and shapely knolls to the South, a barren nothingness stretching out for miles. Yes, nobody will find you here. No, you will not drag this out any longer. You already shot one more man tonight than you were planning to, though admittedly it was his own fault. 

Frank.  

You don't know what he was talking about, but hell if you cared to listen. The instant that he blocked that door with his body, your finger squeezed the trigger it had been glued to since you'd laid eyes on him. Served him right for sticking his nose in other people's business. If he'd just been a misguided stranger, you'd have let it go. Clearly, a few too many screws were loose in his head too, but he underestimated just how many were rattling around in yours. The answer was: enough to shoot him in the shoulder and take his van into the desert, with Sam out cold in the back like he'd said. At least he didn't lie about that, because you'd have gone back to shoot him again. 

The dark sky gives way to a crack of indigo in the far distance, and you push off the van's back door to approach the man lying on the ground several feet away. Given he's still wearing his server uniform from the diner, you guess Frank must've nabbed him after his shift. There's no visible injury on his person besides a little redness around the clavicles, indicating knockout via strangulation. Good — at least he won't be woozy from head trauma, because you'd like to talk to him. 

His face is plain, forgettable to anyone that isn't you. Twenty-two years old and not going to get any older. You scoff at his terminal stupidity. Having this much power over someone's life should come with a degree of somberness, but you're tired and cranky from hauling Sam out of the van and dragging Frank away from the door. You've done more manual labor than intended tonight, and it's not like you've had much sleep in the past week to begin with. You spare another look at Sam's figure, cheek pressed into the ground and breathing even. Nap time over. 

You don't have a knife, so you resort to grasping his left pinky and pressing down on the nail bed until he stirs. It takes around a minute for him to awaken fully, by which time you've stood up and retrieved your gun. You move a few paces away. For a moment you wonder what your face must look like, but Sam isn't close enough to catch all the nuances in your expression as he blinks at you with furrowed brows. He coughs twice but finds his voice pretty quickly. 

"Who the fuck are you?" 

Maybe your face is forgettable too. 

"Where the fuck am I?" he demands with a weak cry, voice hoarse from the treatment his neck received. He tries to get to his feet, but he barely turns onto his side before you let off a shot near his shoulder. 

"Don't get up, Sam." 

The gesture yields the intended effect. He stops and scrambles onto his back, scooting away from you on his heels and elbows as his body kicks up dust. You point the gun at his head, silently commanding him to stop moving. He does. You close the distance to what it was before. Sam glares up at you, but he hasn't had the time in his short life to build up any menacing qualities. There's still some roundness in his face from delayed puberty, because while his documents say twenty-two, the man in front of you looks barely eighteen. Some people just look younger than they are. 

"What do you want?" 

A hint of the stutter he had the first time you met him returns for that simple question. It's not one you've personally ever asked when finding yourself in similar situations in the past. No reason to play stupid and waste everyone's time. You raise an eyebrow. 

"You don't know?" 

A look of recognition passes over his features as he studies you, but where you expect fear or nervousness, something akin to vexation appears instead. His lips curl upwards. He's displeased and ready to make it known. 

"Look, I passed my fucking test! Tell Emi I'm ready. He doesn't need to do this shit no more," he snarls. 

New information. Hm. 

"So you don't know me," you say vaguely, studying him in return. 

"The fuck do I care who you are? What, are you some new bitch he's fucking this month? It ain't gon' last, I tell you that. Just do whatever he said to so I can go home. Got enough shit on my plate." 

There's delayed puberty of the brain too, it seems. He hasn't caught on that you are not who he thinks, but interestingly, the person he thinks you are is expected to behave the way you do. He's been manhandled, kidnapped and brought to the wilderness to stare down the barrel. He does so in defiance, not an ounce of fear in his eyes. Tests. Readiness. Emi. 

You put some fear right into his kneecap. 

Sam howls his agony into the expanse of the desert as the bullet tears through cartilage and exits through soft flesh. He grabs at his leg with both hands, rocking forward several times as if to get up. He's yet to understand that he'll never use that leg again, you think, because he does try to scramble to his feet again. It's haphazard and desperate, but it grants him valuable knowledge: he falls back on his ass in a stupor, looking at his body and trying to understand its betrayal. He can feel the pain, yet he can't feel anything below the knee. 

"Are you a good listener, Sam? I can tell you're not a good observer. Maybe we can change that," you say evenly, waiting for him to register your words over the adrenaline pumping through his veins. 

He looks up at you and yowls something fierce. From what you can see in the awakening darkness, there are tears gathered in his eyes. The fire burning in them is different now, defiance waning. 

"My brother's going to fucking kill you!" he screams. It travels along Tule Valley with its dips and mounds, only to be swallowed up by the sheer expanse of nothing. He has found out who you are not. Now, to refresh his memory. 

"You should be more concerned with what I'm going to do, to tell you the truth." 

He fumbles over the hole in his knee and wrestles with control of his ligament to no avail, and if you bear witness for a minute or two, it's not something you're ashamed of. A long sigh folds your body into itself as you crouch down to his level, keeping a knee on the ground for stability. Sam's whimpers have lost some of their intensity, and for a moment you watch him watch the blood that flows from his leg into the reddish sand, creating black splotches in the low light that resemble the ones on your front door. The desert is much colder than your neighborhood. 

"I've hurt some people," you tell him, commanding his attention before he goes into shock. He lifts his eyes to your face, and suddenly he looks like even more of a child than he did before. You nod both to yourself and him in the wake of your statement, as if to confirm you've really said it. Truths uttered inside a wasteland can be bent into unflattering shapes by something as inoffensive as a breeze.

"I have. Nobody that didn't deserve it, I promise you that. But I've never done this before," you continue, head tilted with a frown. "I've never let anyone go who I knew I shouldn't." 

"I don't know what you're talking about, you crazy bitch! Look at what you did to my fucking leg!" 

His voice is scratched, not yet broken. 

"You've hurt some people too, haven't you? Only, they were good people. Right?" 

The spell of dry wind descending from the white rocks to the North has travelled a long way to encounter you both, howling through the valley with a final effort to leave its mark on the wilderness. Its tendrils are harsh and nearly icy right before dawn, sending one last caress through the realm that will soon be transformed under a ball of fire. 

A flicker of recognition arises in the man's face again, and this time, he really sees you. In the absence of synthetic light, he sees your face from the same distance he did at the bakery, same hairstyle, same plain clothes. You are the same person you were a week ago, only now presenting as you truly are — hiding nothing, free of struggle. With your back to the sun and him before you, your eyes are black and resolute. You think of nothing and have no decisions to make. 

Clarity is good. 

The steel feels cold against your hand as it reaffirms its grip on the Kimber, but the trigger burns its shape into the crook of your index finger. You breathe. You pull. 

Silencer long detached, the true sound of oblivion rings out over planes and burrows into crevices, a responding hum finding its way back to the source as if the earth itself knows it has just become a tomb. You rise to your feet. A healthy adult man will take a long while to die with just one shot to the chest. That's alright. You want him to have all the mercy of the world he created. 

Four steps carry you to Sam Collins, who's a hair removed from shock. Chest rising and falling uncontrollably, it gives way to spasms and sputters both felt and heard as his fists pound the dirt against their will. The sporadic whistling produced by his lungs barely hits your ears for how delicate it is. Most of the gray of his shirt has been chased away by gravity luring his blood into the hungry earth, never to relinquish ownership. You find yourself peering down at his wide eyes and puffing cheeks and slowly get flooded with a sense of impending disquiet. 

He shouldn't get to see the sky. He shouldn't get to watch the sun rise over his last day and make the stars disappear by casting light upon them. The oranges and purples of a desert sunrise aren't for him to witness when others only get the rigid monotony of wood and steel, an endless night trapping them inside darkness before it swallows them whole. 

You wonder what he's thinking between gasping breaths and choked words. In theory, he wouldn't be thinking about anything but survival. Only if he has accepted death staring down his path can he start contemplating other things, but Sam is still young for the amount of time he has left. Youth is defiant, unafraid. It holds out the longest in the face of calamity. As he so clearly proved, youth is barely even capable of recognizing death. It either flees in the face of it or it falls quiet. 

Sam has done both. As he looks at you and you look back, there's no telling what you'll remember of him and this moment in another nineteen years, no use in searching for clues. Whatever your mind will latch onto is outside all control. What it knows of Mark Davidson is a look like a demon's and a fury like God's, and you buried them both under rock without spectacle or prejudice what feels like a lifetime ago. You remember fuel and heat, a thundering slide of earth and gravel. 

What you'll remember of Sam could be wind, just as well as it could be silence. It could be pleading eyes or a childlike face. Whatever memory will be kept, you bear witness to his struggle against ample tranquility. He's crossing over into darkness as the first rays of sun slither along the dessicated ground and towards his face, but just before his eyes are kissed by the morning light, the fire within them burns out. You remark on the color in peace. They're green. 

Clarity is good. 

.

.

. 

The downside of being undisturbed following a murder is that you aren't really sure what to do with all your clarity. The last time you did this you were behind the wheel of a stolen car too, but back then you had the benefit of mental turmoil. You weren't thinking about much more than getting away from that quarry, weren't feeling anything but guilt and fear and a pervasive sense of biblical doom. 

Now, you're maybe a little restless. Maybe a little inconvenienced. Overall, once you're done getting rid of this van and the coyotes are done getting rid of Sam's body, you don't know where you're going to plant your feet — besides Frank's dash, that is. 

Going back to your house is out of the question right now. You're not in Utah— you're in sunny California, staying with relatives and recovering from last week's events. Showing your face so soon will raise eyebrows on faces that you aren't likely to see again anyway, so there is little point in swinging by. You will have to eventually, if you want a clean break. Few things today can't be done remotely if money is no issue, but you sprung too many roots in that town and now have to sever them yourself. 

One of them is staring back at you from the phone you've just turned on for the first time in seven days, a written update from Eliza with a photo of Piper and Mae attached. The pair of rose-ringed parakeets are snuggled together on what looks to be a desk cluttered with psychology homework. You're not surprised they've taken to her so quickly as to be comfortable outside their enclosure. Eliza is a good, caring person and as gentle as they come. You don't reply to her text. 

Sifting through the flurry of notifications and emails from purveyors with whom you'd unexpectedly suspended contracts, your eyes catch on one message that is neither inquiry nor update. It's an alert from your home security system, encrypted and blinking impatiently for it to be acknowledged. It is. 

Only some forty hours too late.

.

.

-to be continued-

A/N: No Frank in this one again, sorry! But we'll get plenty real soon, and we might even get some other people we know👀 Please let me know your thoughts, I love reading them and freaking out over this story with you!

Taglist: @itwasthereaminuteago @hellskitchenswhore @theradioactivespidergwen @trashyart-y @its-me-ya-boi-lisa @marieloves-reading @daisyslibrary @trashcan-writes @mind-nine @reblogmisc3 @hufflepufe @this-is-where-i-keep-my-fic

Note: If you'd like to be tagged, reblog the previous chapters or the series masterlist! You have to interact with the story if you want to keep getting tagged for updates.

[cursedvibes]

This chapter was so fun to me and I guess what puts in all together how so many lives could have been spared if Kenjaku and Takaba had found each other earlier because the more this goes on the more it proves my own theory that Kenjaku just desperately needed enrichment and a equal mutual standing relationship of some kind all along. Yuuji would not have existed at all or at least had a different father if Kenjaku figured out what they actually needed and wanted in their life.

Yeah, I think they were like this (what we saw the last chapters) when young, but then gradually became obsessed with the wrong things and that overtook any other concerns they might've had and made them able to hurt and use the people they care about. I think they were always a little shit though and had low or no empathy from the start, which made finding friends difficult. Like, they clearly have no trouble hurting Takaba and he returns it to a degree (running someone over with a jet ski is not safe!). There was always a fascination for the grotesque and finding out new things in them, I think, just not as extreme. For example, they seem genuinely interested in medicine, biology, physics etc., and especially medicine and biology has to involve some cutting up of living beings. So there would probably be some death caused by Kenjaku and they would've experimented and pushed some ethical lines either way, but not to the point of wanting to merge their best friend with Japan's population against her will.

I wonder how much Tengen influenced Kenjaku's behaviour. They were/are friends and while Tengen doesn't strike me as the type to play children's games with Kenjaku, they must've gotten along very well at some point for Kenjaku to get so attached to her. Disagreements are normal, they have them with Takaba too and Kenjaku seems to need and enjoy that challenge and pushback (also why they liked Yuki). Tengen's first merger is probably what made their relationship turn for the worse. She didn't want to indulge Kenjaku's little experiments and fascination with her body and then they just became more and more fixated on their respective positions regarding what Tengen's future should look like. Tengen shutting herself off and becoming more concerned with running jujutsu society didn't help. Kenjaku wanted her attention, didn't get it and nothing could really engage them to the same degree.

Really telling that Kenjaku is thinking about how it has been centuries since they had so much fun that their heart danced and that they are glad they created the Culling Game because of moments like their fight against Takaba. Takaba influences their thoughts, but I don't think it's to the degree of him literally putting words in their brain. It's more like he brings out hidden sides of them that would make them behave in his favour. Kenjaku also immediately smothers those feelings as soon as they become aware of them, which I think tracks with how they behave around Tengen and Yuuji aka dehumanizing them around certain people while other times acknowledging their bond to them. They are very used to pushing any kind of growing feeling of attachment down because it makes them vulnerable to others and if you want to follow a thousand year plan full of setbacks, you just can't have weaknesses like that.

I'm really curious where this will all lead to. I'd like Kenjaku's friendship issues to be brought up directly and compared with Takaba's own. Throw in a Tengen mention for extra drama. I think this will conclude with Takaba managing to make Kenjaku genuinely laugh (he already got close this chapter) without any mind manipulation involved, but I doubt it will be enough to make Kenjaku discard their merger plan entirely. So Takaba technically wins, but I don't see this being favourable for the protagonists overall besides buying them a bit of time. Takaba really likes Kenjaku and is very invested in them. They also helped him with his depression (he even says as much this chapter, albeit as a bit and as an excuse to turn Kenny into a nurse). First by turning his life around with the Culling Game and then by making him realize why he wanted to be a comedian in the first place and strife to do better. They even called him "partner" now, which clearly means a lot to him. I don't see that attachment leading to anything good in the long run. Kenjaku isn't the only one affected by this fight.

[kimbappykidding]

Part One Here 

Tagged: @iwillgotoheavenforyou

You and Sehun fell into a pattern of hooking up whenever you were over and it was a lot of fun! Neither of you had defined the relationship meaning you didn't have to think about it too much but one thing was for sure, now you'd pretty much be found in Sehun's bed not Chanyeol's. You figured this was just a physical thing that would fade with time but it didn't. As Sehun didn't grow tired of you, you realised he really must've wanted you for a while. He could be so passionate with you and you often had to force him to wait until you reached his room because otherwise he got too caught up in it and claimed he didn't care who saw. You liked how beautiful and desired he made you feel and couldn't believe a guy that looked like him was weak for you.

You were also surprised to find that Sehun was pretty likeable and not just physically. Afterwards, the two of you would talk and you found out a lot about him. You learned not only was Sehun hot, but he was also sweet, funny and rather endearing. His looks were really deceiving and he actually had a great personality under that god-like physique. So you were really enjoying the situation you'd found yourself in but there was one thing bothering you.

Chanyeol.

Throughout all of this Chanyeol had been quieter than usual. From the very first morning after you hooked up you felt something shift between you and things were never quite the same. You still saw Chanyeol often but now split the time evenly between him and Sehun. You even noticed that if you mentioned Sehun when you were with Chanyeol he'd go all quiet and change the subject.  So you figured Chanyeol wasn't comfortable with you seeing Sehun but whenever you asked him about it, he just insisted it was fine.

One day you and Chanyeol were heading out to the cinema and were sitting in Chanyeol's car when Sehun came around the corner. He saw you both and smiled "where are you off to?" he asked. "The cinema" you said "we're going to see the new Spiderverse movie". Sehun smiled "that's a good movie, guess it's a good job you didn't invite me I don't think we'd have seen much of the movie". You blushed slightly at the look in Sehun's eye but felt Chanyeol shift beside you. Sehun also noticed and looked at him before backing off "well have fun, see you later" he said more to you than Chanyeol and he walked away. Once he'd gone Chanyeol smiled at you "so ready to go?". You paused before replying and sighed "Chanyeol are you really okay with Sehun and I hooking up?". Chanyeol stiffened "Y/n I already told you you're both adults so it's fine". "See you say that but you're obviously so uncomfortable with it and I know we're adults but I'm your friend and Sehun's your colleague! You see us both so much and you can say if it bothers you". Chanyeol shook his head "no I can't, Y/n you're an adult and I have no right to tell you what to do or say plus say I did have a problem with it, what would you do?". "What would I do?" you asked and he nodded "yeah if I said it made me uncomfortable, what would you do?". You blinked "I...I'm not sure. I guess if it bothered you so much I'd stop seeing him". "Really?" Chanyeol asked "just because I said it made me uncomfortable?". You nodded "yeah if it bothered you that much. Do you want me to stop?". Chanyeol sighed "but why? Why would you choose me over him, when you're happy with him? What reason do you have?". Chanyeol was staring at you almost desperate with those big eyes and you had no idea what he wanted from you. You looked down "I...you're my best friend Chanyeol, plus it's not like I'm dating Sehun or anything. This is just a bit of fun so if it offended you yeah I'd stop it".

_______

Chanyeol stared at you, looking stunned and you put a hand on his arm "so, do you want me stop? Say the word and I will". Chanyeol blinked at you and you wondered what was taking him so long to reply and why he was staring at you like that. He was looking at you almost as if...you blushed at the thought and Chanyeol seemed to spot that because he pulled away. You hadn't even realised how close the two of you were sat but why did you feel so warm? You leant back in your seat and pressed the button to lower the windows. A nice breeze swept in and you looked over at Chanyeol who was watching you. "So what's your answer?" you asked and Chanyeol looked down "it's fine but thank you...it means a lot that you would do that for me". You nodded "of course, you know I love you" but something about the atmosphere made that feel weird. Chanyeol couldn't look you in the eye and he nodded "I do and I love you too". A tense silence fell and then Chanyeol fixed a smile on his face "so...should we head off?" and you nodded eagerly.

You both carried on like nothing had happened but you knew something odd had happened in the car but had no idea what it was. You thought about it a lot and finally asked Sehun for his opinion when you saw him the next day. Sehun asked you to explain what had happened and you told him the whole story, when you finished Sehun was looking at you with a funny expression on his face. You frowned "what's that look for?". Sehun laughed "you seriously don't know?". "Don't know what?" you asked and he shook his head. "Okay I only didn't tell you because I thought you knew but Y/n Chanyeol has a crush on you". You blinked taking it in before you laughed "no he doesn't! We're just friends". Sehun shook his head "that doesn't mean he doesn't want to be more with you". "But why wouldn't he tell me?" you asked. "Maybe because you tell everyone that you're just friends before they can even ask" Sehun said "or how it's quite clear there's nothing romantic between you, at least from your side?". "From my side?" you asked and Sehun paused "well are you attracted to him?". "He's a very good-looking man" you said and Sehun smirked "that didn't answer my question. Do you want him? Could you imagine doing with him what we just did?". You paused and shook your head. Sehun nodded "he knows that and that's why he never told you. It's like how I never approached you until I knew you liked me. You're an expressive person Y/n and it's quite obvious what you do or don't want". You went quiet thinking "that must be horrible for him". Sehun shrugged "well he appreciates your friendship so it's better than not having you in his life at all". You frowned turning to Sehun "but does he ever seem upset? Why hasn't he tried to move on with someone else?'. Sehun shrugged "well he never discusses you with any of us, trust me we've tried but he shuts it down immediately. So we really have no idea if he pines after you or not. As for dating someone else I'm not sure either. I always figured he was just waiting to see if you changed your mind about him but maybe now he'll see that's not going to happen". You nodded "yeah hopefully...". Sehun frowned watching you "are you okay?". You nodded "yeah I just feel bad for him". Sehun shook his head "you're too kind. It's not your fault you don't like him back". You nodded "I know" but you couldn't help but wonder...did you like Chanyeol that way?

He didn't automatically make your knees weak like Sehun did but a few weeks ago you would've said the same about Sehun. The truth was it was all about perspective and there was a lot to like about Chanyeol. He was your best friend, the person you wanted if you were happy or sad. He was one of the nicest people you knew and he was such a great guy. You and Chanyeol got on so well, if you could have that emotional connection with a partner it would be amazing. However, you and Sehun had the physical part nailed and the emotional part was growing more and more every day. You just couldn't work out who was the bigger risk, Chanyeol or Sehun.

When you woke up the next morning you felt just as confused about what to do. Sehun had no reason to lie about Chanyeol liking you but you still didn't 100% believe him. You wanted to see it in action and so when Sehun asked if you wanted breakfast in bed you paused "what if we went downstairs and ate with the others?". Sehun nodded "yeah if you want" and you nodded "we don't have to hide away or anything? Right?". Sehun nodded "right...but I should probably find a shirt" and you smiled "if you feel you have to" and Sehun shook his head "don't start or we'll never make it downstairs" and so shooting him another smile, you kept your thoughts to yourself.

You went down to breakfast together and Chanyeol jumped when you both entered but didn't say anything. "Now what do we have here? You two decided to take a break and get off each other for 5 minutes?" Baekhyun asked. Sehun pushed him and you sunk into a seat across from Chanyeol. He was staring at his plate and with your eyes on him, you addressed Baekhyun. "No we just need some sustenance before we carry on, you'd know that if you ever had good sex" you replied and all the guys started laughing, except for Chanyeol who tightened his grip on his spoon, his knuckles turning white. You were so surprised you didn't even realise Sehun was coming closer until he pressed a few kisses to your neck "that was brilliant" he whispered and you smiled before seeing Chanyeol watching.

Your breath caught in your throat because he looked pissed! Chanyeol looked down the second he saw you noticed but he couldn't hide the dark look in his eye. You couldn't forget it all day and it was like it was seared into your brain. You realised Sehun was right...and you enjoyed that moment in the kitchen.

Finding Chanyeol attractive shouldn't have been such a big shock to you. You knew in your mind Chanyeol was hot. He was over 6 foot and had abs like a superhero, of course he was conventionally attractive...but seeing him direct his energy at you awoke things in you and once you'd started seeing Chanyeol's attractive sight you couldn't stop.

Later that week you attended an Exo concert and when it got to their racy songs your eyes drifted from Seun to Chanyeol back and forth until Chanyeol demanded your attention. Girls were going crazy for all the boys but then Chanyeol took his shirt off and they all went insane. You smiled before catching sight of Chanyeol and realising he did indeed look really good...really really good. There was something about Chanyeol's stage confidence which made him more attractive but it wasn't just that. It was Chanyeol himself and you were shocked to see your best friend like this. It was as if the best friend you shared a bed with and stayed up late into the night laughing with, was a different person to this hot ripped man on stage. How could he go from being your sweet kind caring friend to a sexy performer and how had you never noticed this before?

You saw Chanyeol after the show and paused as he came towards you. You felt oddly fluttery and nervous which had never happened before. You can't remember ever being intimidated by Chanyeol, not even when you first became friends but here you were. Chanyeol was wiping his face and neck with a towel and it was such a casual but hot move. You looked at Chanyeol's neck and shoulders admiring them before realising he was looking at you with his bright smile as always. You smiled back because your friend was back and this was a Chanyeol you knew.

So now you knew you liked Chanyeol, you just had to work out how to tell him... and how to tell Sehun and honestly you weren’t sure which was scarier. You were 90% sure Chanyeol was indeed into you but that didn't make it any easier. Your actions would change everything and could cost you both boys. You'd lose Sehun if you went with Chanyeol and what if you and Chanyeol didn't work as a couple? Then you'd lose Sehun and Chanyeol and you couldn't imagine anything worse. You cared for both of them and had no idea what the right thing to do was. You just kept putting it off, hoping an idea would come to you but nothing did. So you carried on seeing Sehun and pretending like you didn't have feelings for Chanyeol...which you weren't very good at.

Whenever you saw Chanyeol you felt nervous and Sehun became your comfort safe person so you would crave him. So when Chanyeol walked into a room you'd move close to Sehun or initiate contact with him. If Chanyeol was talking you'd grab onto Sehun's arm or hand or something and he'd usually wrap one around you making you feel less vulnerable. Then when you got drunk that's when things really got messy because drunk...you really wanted Chanyeol. With alcohol, you'd notice how nice his smile was or what good hair he had. Then you'd think about how tall and in shape he was and you'd start feeling warm and flustered. So again you'd turn to Sehun. That exact thing happened tonight.

You were over at the Exo house and everything was fine...until you saw Chanyeol dancing with some girl. He had his arms around her waist and it all seemed pretty fun and chill but it made you react very strongly. You panicked and felt so insecure you hated it. Chanyeol spotted you because you'd walked through into the room and then halted in your tracks. He looked at you confused and might've been about to head over but Sehun appeared behind you and put a hand on your waist "hah what are you doing standing here I almost ran into you" he laughed and then he saw your face "are you okay?". You nodded and grabbed him "why don't we dance?". Sehun smiled seeing the look in your eye and nodded "sure!".

So you and Sehun started to dance right across from Chanyeol and the girl. It hurt every time you saw them together so you pulled Sehun closer and kissed him. Sehun was more than happy with this development and kissed you back. You opened your eyes and happened to see Chanyeol watching you and that pleased you. You felt so relieved to know Chanyeol was still an option for you and you should've broken the kiss with Sehun and gone to speak with Chanyeol...but you didn't. You kept kissing Sehun while keeping your eyes locked on Chanyeol. You weren't sure what you were thinking just you felt vulnerable and wanted to regain some of that power. So you kept kissing Sehun and when he pulled away to press some kisses to your neck and chest you tilted your head back and smirked at Chanyeol before kissing Sehun again. You closed your eyes properly kissing Sehun and both pulled away gasping. "Wow" Sehun smiled "want to do this somewhere else?" but your first reaction was to look for Chanyeol and he wasn't there. The girl was standing to the side looking confused and you saw a blur disappear through the door who you were sure was Chanyeol.

What you'd done started to creep up on you and you panicked. Why had you done that? Why tease him like that? You felt horrible and knew you had to go after him but Sehun was confused. "Y/n"? he asked and you blinked "I'm sorry Sehun I've got to go" and you rushed after Chanyeol.

You knew whenever Chanyeol needed some space from these parties he'd go to the bathroom in his room and so you headed there. "Chanyeol?" you called as you pushed open the door and sure enough there he was standing over the bathroom sink.

When you saw the look in his eyes and the shock on his face you weren't sure what to say but he was. "Why were you doing that?" Chanyeol asked and you blushed embarrassed "I don't know...". "Are you sure because that seemed really deliberate" Chanyeol said "and it's been building all week like you wanted me to see you and Sehun. You grab him anytime I enter the room and are all over him. It's fine if you want to touch him but why do I feel like it's so specific to me?" he asked. Your silence that followed was deafening and Chanyeol paused "wait...did you want me to see you with Sehun?". You looked up at him and shrugged "maybe". "Why?" Chanyeol asked "I've told you I'm fine with the two of you and don't feel weird so why would you test me like that?". You'd drunk a lot and were trying to come up with a reasonable excuse but couldn't so you just told the truth.

"I was upset when I saw you with that girl and it made me feel insecure and vulnerable so I was testing you but not to see if you were angry at me more the opposite, I wasn't trying to see if you hated me but if you...". Chanyeol paused "if I what?". "Sehun told me something and I wanted to see if it was true". Chanyeol's eyes widened slightly and you saw the tension in his body but still he pretended he didn't. "What did Sehun tell you?" Chanyeol asked and you looked at him "I think you know" and you reached up to kiss him.

It was only a soft quick kiss but it put across your message pretty clearly...or to you it did.

"Y/n why did you just do that?" Chanyeol asked "why did you kiss me, we're just friends". "But you like me as more don't you?" you asked and Chanyeol looked down "if you already know then why ask?". "because I want to hear you say it" you replied and Chanyeol looked at you "why? I know you don't feel the same way so why are you putting me through this? What kind of sick game is it?". "It's not a game I just...even since Sehun told me I've been so confused by what I feel for you both but the more I thought about you that way the more I wanted you and I just need one thing to be sure". Chanyeol understood what that one thing was and he nodded "I want you Y/n" with a beautiful sigh that drew you towards him effortlessly. This time Chanyeol was ready for you and he quickly kissed you back.

The kiss started off slowly. This was new to both of you and you were trying to figure out how this would work. Part of you found it really hard to comprehend you were kissing your best friend but the other half just acted on instinct and you wanted Chanyeol. So you pushed away any restraint or worries and kissed the perfect man, trying to show him how much he meant to you both as a friend and potential partner. Chanyeol evidently felt the change in you as he also started being more passionate and things began to heat up. Chanyeol let his hands wander over your body and when a whine escaped you he shot you a gorgeous smirk. In response, you bit his lip and Chanyeol let out a moan that you felt in your stomach. "I want to hear you make that noise again" you said and Chanyeol had always dreamed of hearing you say something like that to him. "Well keep kissing me then" Chanyeol said and you nodded "deal".

After a while the contact wasn't enough, you reached for the buttons on Chanyeols shirt and before you knew it were tumbling into bed. Literally. Chanyeol fell backwards with you on top of him and you quickly climbed up him to make great use of this new position. Chanyeol was making those beautiful noises again when suddenly he pulled back.  "Wait Y/n I think we should stop" Chanyeol said and you paused "why? Isn't this what you wanted?". "Yes but not like this. I don't want us to jump into bed with one another when we're drunk. I don't want it to just be physical". "But I thought you wanted me?" you said and Chanyeol nodded "I do but I want you to want me when you're sober too...I deserve that". You went to argue of course you would want him when you were sober and Chanyeol patted your head "how about we just go to sleep? We can talk in the morning".

You nodded and went to get into bed when you noticed Chanyeol gathering his things. "You stay in here I'll go with Baekhyun" he said. You wouldn't have that so you decided you'd go. Chanyeol tried to get you to stay but there was no way you were doing what you'd done to him tonight and then kicking him out of his room.  "Y/n please...stay" Chanyeol said taking your hand and you smiled. You reached up to gently stroke his cheek and shook your head "I'll see you tomorrow" and kissed his cheek before leaving. Once you'd gone Chanyeol collapsed on the bed letting out the biggest sigh wondering if he'd just made the most stupid decision ever.

You walked downstairs and bumped into someone at the bottom. Of course it was Sehun. He saw you and smiled "hey there you are, want to finish what we..." when he saw your face "what's up?". "I just kissed Chanyeol" you replied and Sehun nodded "oh erm come on" and he led you to a side room. "So how did it feel?" he asked and you blushed looking down. You were embarrassed to tell Sehun what had happened. Would he be sad? Angry? Feel betrayed?

Reading your mind Sehun smiled "Y/n it's okay if you enjoyed it. I figured you had a thing for Chanyeol". You paused "what? But I thought you said it was obvious I didn't care for him that way?". "It was...before I mentioned it and clearly opened up the idea to you. I could see the realisation in your eyes and felt the tension between the two of you. I knew it was only a matter of time and I guess we're here". "I'm sorry Sehun" you said and he shook his head "don't be! We were just friends with benefits, never anything exclusive so you haven't done anything wrong". You shook your head looking at him "you know I always thought you were a dick but that couldn't be further from the truth!" throwing your arm around him in a hug.

Sehun laughed and hugged you back "thank you!". He pulled away and looked at you "I'm glad I've won you over". "Completely! I liked talking to you afterwards and we've gotten closer. I hope that can stay the same...if it's okay with you?". Sehun nodded "yeah of course. I've really enjoyed our time together too and not just the sex although that was really good so thanks for that". You laughed "no problem, back at you". You both smiled at one another before you sighed "anyway I should head home, I've got to see Chanyeol in the morning so need some sleep". "So why are you leaving? Stay over. Take my room..." Sehun offered but you shook your head "I think the space will help show Chanyeol I'm serious about him...plus it will give me time to make sure I'm sure about this. I think I need a quiet night after being around all you hot men". Sehun smiled "well atleast let me call you a taxi" and 30 minutes later you were home in bed. You thought about how nice a guy Sehun was and were so glad you'd met someone like him. Then you thought about Chanyeol for the rest of the night and went to sleep with a smile on your face and hope in your heart.

You woke up pretty early and took a shower. When you got up the sun was rising and you looked at your phone to see a new message from Chanyeol. "Hey I know it's super early but whenever you're ready to talk just let me know". You smiled and told him you were awake and ready to talk if he was, not long after you were pulling up outside his house and Chanyeol came out to meet you. He waved awkwardly and you laughed as he stood watching you park. "You've never done this before, come outside to greet me" you laughed "what are you doing?". Chanyeol shrugged "honestly I have no idea" and gave you a hug. You held him tightly and looked up at him "Chanyeol the first thing I have to say is an apology. I am so sorry for the way I treated you last night". Chanyeol shook his head but you wouldn't let him brush it away "no I shouldn't have acted the way I did and I'm really sorry I did it. I promise I will never do anything like that again, I never want to hurt you..." you said trailing off unsure what to say but Chanyeol took your hands. "I know Y/n and I believe you". The way he was looking at you made you pause "wait so are you...you're giving me another chance?". "It's not another chance, I just want to be with you!" he said and leaned down to kiss you.

"You were totally right about waiting until we were both sober" you commented "clean teeth really makes a kiss". Chanyeol laughed "I'm glad you think so" and kissed you again.

You couldn't just stay outside forever and so eventually Chanyeol led you inside for breakfast. You'd cooked together so many times but now everything felt different. When you met Chanyeol's eye you blushed and when he reached around you to grab a fork you saw the smirk on his face. "You're doing all of this on purpose aren't you!" you commented and Chanyeol looked at you with an innocent look on his face "doing what?". You shook your head "making yourself irresistible to me!" you cried and he smiled "I'm not, maybe that's just how you feel about me". The way he looked this morning you could believe it so you nodded "you might be onto something" and pulled him towards you.

The breakfast was forgotten but the kitchen is not a quiet area of any house and minutes later Baekhyun and Chen appeared. "Hey...oh shit sorry we...Chanyeol?" Baekhyun asked. He looked between the two of you and frowned "I thought you were...you know what never mind". The two obviously thought they'd stumbled onto something they shouldn't have so they nearly died when Sehun walked in. "Thought who was who?" he asked and then he spotted you both and smiled. He winked at you both and then gasped "you two! Behind my back? My girl and best friend? How could you do this to me?". Your jaw dropped and you were going to laugh when Chanyeol stood up "It's been going on the whole time Sehun! There's nothing you can do about it!". "The whole time?" Sehun yelled "I'll kill you" and him and Chanyeol began fake fighting, knocking things over and rolling around on the floor. Baekhyun and Chen tried to separate them and Suho, D.O. and Lay all came running at the noise. They finally separated them and Suho demanded to know what was wrong with them both...when he paused because you were laughing your head off.

All the guys watched as you clutched your side, struggling to breathe as tears ran down your face. They all thought this was some very sick joke on your part until Sehun and Chanyeol both started laughing too. "Okay what the fuck is going on?" D.O. demanded and Chanyeol smiled shaking Chen's hand off him "we're not really fighting. Sehun knows". "He what?" Baekhyun asked and Sehun nodded "Y/n and I aren't together anymore and I know about her and Chanyeol. It's completely fine". "It is?" Suho asked and Sehun nodded "not to brag but I kind of think I got them together". Chanyeol laughed and patted Sehun's back "sure I'll give you that...." before coming to stand beside you. He took your hand and smiled "so yeah you can all go now". "What so you can keep eating her face in a communal space?" Baekhyun asked "I don't think so!". The others laughed and you smiled hugging Chanyeol "I guess we can wait until after breakfast, we've finally found this and there's no rush". Chanyeol nodded smiling down at you "that's true, now I've got you I'm not going anywhere" and he kissed you.

Some of the guys groaned, others awed but neither of you cared. Finally, everything was perfect.

So originally this was just going to be a Sehun imagine but I thought Chanyeol deserved a happy ending too so wrote this version. Honestly this whole series came from my realisation that everyone in Exo is so hot and anyone stuck between two members would have the choice of a lifetime! 

If you’d like to read the Sehun ending then click the link here.