#guess I'll say thank you for lending me your life

[reblog-house]

Me when I added a song into my Spotify Likes weeks ago: I'm probably not gonna listen to it much. I only like the last half anyway.

Me, now, listening to it in its entirety on loop and having it stuck in my head for multiple days in a row: Yeah I may have miscalculated a bit.

[valerie-is-in-the-cupboard]

Out of Darkness - Chapter Five: Promises - Alastor x human!fem!reader

Hello~~ You wouldn't believe how difficult this chapter was to write. Initially, I had a completely different idea, wrote it down entirely, but scrapped it because I didn't like it. Then, I almost finished this chapter when I learned an important lesson about saving your work while writing on the phone… So, I hope it turned out at least acceptable. If you find Alastor a bit off and don't enjoy it, please let me know. Sometimes I might write him in a better light, I guess haha. Enjoy reading, loves <3Go to the table of contents.

Words: ~4080 TW: swearing, angst with happy ending

(Y/n) was walking back home, the empty streets covered by the dark of the night, making her almost run to the safety of her house. She held her phone to her ear, listening to portions of Brenda's stories about her day, still aware of her surroundings.

"Anyway, she's a bitch..." Brenda ended the long story about one of her coworkers who keeps hitting on her boyfriend. "You listening?"

(y/n) snapped out of her trance, realising that her mind was wandering off indeed, and it wasn't only because of her fear of getting kidnapped. "Yeah, I just... I try to be aware of what's happening around me, you know?"

"Yeah, I get that. But you know what would've been great? If your boyfriend would've picked you up from David's, not let you wander off alone, especially knowing that you're uncomfortable doing so." a slight annoyance was present in Brenda's voice. (Y/n) sighed. It wasn't the first time Brenda or David warned her about Alastor.

"He's not my boyfriend, Bren."

"Oh, yeah. Because you've been taking it slow for the past few days. Too slow."

"And what's so wrong about it?" (y/n) said back, a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"Oh, no, girl, don't take me wrong. It is great to take it slow. But not when you're the only one who seems to try." (Y/n) raised an eyebrow at her statement, not understanding what she meant.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, come on! He doesn't call, he doesn't show up at your door, he doesn't ask you on dates. It's like... He's not even trying to take it slow at this point, he just straight up tries to ignore you, but you always come back."

(Y/n) froze for a bit, thinking about her words. As much as she wanted to say the girl was wrong... she wasn't. Alastor never reached out to her, but he never declined her offers either.

"Ok, but then why did he never reject me?" (y/n) asked, mostly trying to convince herself that Brenda was wrong. "He could've just said no."

"Girl, you saved his life. He probably feels guilty to turn you down, but goddamit, you need to stop!" Brenda sighed, trying not to hurt her friend. She was never the sensitive type, but she has always been straightforward when helping a friend. For this reason, (y/n) always appreciated her. "I don't want to seem a bitch, but I'm saying this for you... I hope I'm wrong because I can tell you really like him, but you should stop being so clingy."

"So what should I do?" (y/n) asked as she entered her apartment.

"First, stop calling him. No calls, no texts, no asking out, nothing." Brenda told her, her voice demanding and confident. "Second, if he does in the end reach to you, you do not answer. Not immediately, at least. Maybe wait a few hours... or better - days. And obviously, it also depends on the reason he's calling. What do you do if he asks you on a date in the park?"

"I say yes?" (y/n) asked, curious if she was right or wrong.

"Wrong!" Brenda cut her off before she could even finish. "You say 'I don't know yet. I'll let you know later.'"

(y/n) chuckled at how silly this conversation seemed.

"Don't laugh! Now, on the other hand, if, after all these days of not doing anything, he asks you to lend him 20 dollars, what do you do?"

"I say I'm not in town?"

"Bravo!" Brenda said proudly. "You need to keep him on his toes. Or else, he will think you're a little puppy who's willing to do everything."

"I see, Bren. Thank you. I need to go. We talk later?"

"Sure. Oh, and (y/n)?" Brenda started, (y/n) humming in response. "I know things between you and Mark didn't work out and it altered your brain, making you see things differently than the rest of the world..." (y/n) smiled softly, a hint of sadness in her eyes. "But you're wonderful. And you deserve someone who cares about you. So don't settle for less just because. Trust me, been there." the girl said softly, a side of her that didn't always come to light.

"Thank you... Means a lot. I love you!" (y/n) said and hung up, sitting down on the couch. Her eyes got a bit watery as she thought about what Brenda said. She was right. She threw herself at Alastor, without thinking.

So, she didn't call him and just waited. A day passed, then two, then five and, eventually, a week. There was no sign of Alastor. Not a single text or call. Nothing.

"Nothing?" a text message from Brenda appeared on (y/n)'s phone. She grabbed the phone, her eyes puffy after she's been crying the whole day. She's acted like a fool, giving him everything he needed and now he left her like an old carpet.

"no" she hesitantly texted Brenda, who answered back almost instantly.

"Well, fuck him. Wanna talk?"

(Y/n) didn't want to talk. She wanted to go see him, scream at him, telling him he was a dick. But she had to stay home and move on. They weren't even dating, so why did she care so much?

"gotta clean the apartment. We'll talk later." (y/n) answered and got up. She wasn't exactly lying. The apartment was a mess and she had to do something that would take her mind off this entire thing.

She cursed the day he showed up at her doorstep. She didn't even want to help him at first...

She didn't tell Alastor the whole story of their meeting. Yes, she wanted to do something good, but it's no one's first choice to bring a stranger into their apartment so late at night, especially if they're a woman living alone.

Truth was she came back from work at around nine, finding him there. Drunk people looking for warmth in apartment buildings were nothing uncommon around there, so the police didn't always interfere, simply saying "They will wake up and leave".

She started knocking on the doors of the neighbours that she knew, not wanting to disturb the entire building with her problems. No one answered, making her believe they were either at work or asleep since some of them were old people.

So she called David and waited outside for anyone to come so she could ask for help. No one. Not a single person showed up. She stood there for one hour and no one appeared in sight. Eventually, freezing and knowing that it would take another hour for David to come, she returned to her door, seeing the passed man still in the same position.

Something that night made her do it. Something begged her to let him inside. Maybe it was her consciousness, telling her that if the man died, it would be her fault, or maybe it was just a moment of recklessness... but she brought him in, covering him with a blanket and turning the temperature extra-high just so he wouldn't die. And look where that brought her...

She wanted to cry, not only because of him but because of her too. She was an idiot. She should've kicked him out as soon as he woke up. Why did she care? If he died, she would've never found out anyway.

And she did think about it. That night, the night before and many nights after. Why did she care if he died? Maybe because most of the time that's how human nature worked. It makes us feel sympathy for others. Or maybe because she would constantly ask herself why the man at the club cared. He could've pretended he didn't see anything or take her home and do something worse. But he didn't. He helped her and asked for nothing in return. They didn't even knew each other's names.

Her thoughts were interrupted when her eyes fell on the little music box Alastor gifted her in the past days - they were walking in the park, passing by a lady selling some old decorative stuff. She could tell he liked it the moment he heard the enchanting, soft music, seeing the little ballerina elegantly spin until the song would stop.

She didn't have money on her that day but planned on buying it for him. But despite her plan, he was the one who gave it to her. She looked at him, her eyes wide. "But... I thought you liked it. Why are you giving it to me?" she had asked him. He smiled at her.

"Yes, dear. I liked it. It is very beautiful and unique. That's why I wanted you to have it."

Tears flooded her eyes and without thinking she got dressed and stormed out of the door. She was angry and she needed explanations. She wasn't gonna sit there crying while he was probably out there partying and sleeping around in the apartment she'd found him with the money from a job she helped him get. Adrenaline fueled her veins, her brain only concentrated on what she was going to tell him. She didn't care that it was cold anymore, she didn't care it was so late at night either.

All of her frustrations rushed to her. She was thinking about how she didn't say anything when she found Mark with her friend having sex, how she didn't get to see the faces of those men at the club when the police took them into custody... Without her will, she needed to take it out.

(Y/n) arrived way too quickly to his place, stopping in front of the door. For a moment, she just stood there, contemplating on what she should do. She took a deep breath and knocked a few times, but no answer. Without thinking, she tried on the doorknob, realising the door was opened. As the door slowly opened with a loud creaking noise, strong smell of paint and stale air engulfed her, almost forcing a choke out of her.

She cautiously entered, a dim light coming out from the room. Upon entering, she froze in the doorway, the scene in front of her seemingly ripped out of a murder documentary. A few candles were lit and the floor was full of paint coming out of a knocked can. There were many broken glass pieces and fallen books or objects. And on top of this scene, there was Alastor, casually sitting on the couch, a glass of whiskey in his hand. He looked away from her, almost as if she wasn't there in the first place.

"Alastor...?" she hesitated, a bit taken aback, her courage long gone. She looked for a moment behind her, making sure she left the door open just in case. The atmosphere felt so heavy, almost as if she was in a horror movie. "What happened?" she asked, stepping a bit closer, waiting for his reaction.

"I tripped and fell." He said after a short pause that actually felt much longer. (Y/n)'s anger came back, clearly seeing through his lies.

"You think I'm an idiot?" she asked, saying it a bit more aggressive than she would've liked. Alastor chuckled at her question, drinking the remains of the whiskey in one sip. He looked up at her

"No, dear, I don't think that," he said and his gaze turned away from her again. "But you're quite the gullible one, aren't you?"

Alastor said the last part mostly to himself, not really meaning for her to hear it, but she did. (Y/n)'s eyes watered at his words.

"You are such a dick..." she said through her teeth and walked towards the door.

Alastor's eyes widened slightly at her tone. He hadn't expected her to confront him like this.

"Wait!" he called out. His voice was a little louder than before, a hint of panic in it. (Y/n) stopped, despite her better judgment, waiting for him to say something. Anything.

Alastor took a deep breath, his eyes fixed on her back. For some reason, the thought of her walking away and never coming back made his heart clench in his chest.

He stood up from the couch, taking a few steps closer to her. "Please... don't leave," he said, his voice low and soft.

She slowly turned to face him. He looked changed. His once tidied-up and always-on-point appearance was now dishevelled. His hair was a mess, greasy strands covering his forehead and his clothes were dirty, full of dry paint.

"Why wouldn't I? Do you need anything else? A bigger house? Maybe a car?" she said, sarcasm filling her tone. "But don't you worry! I will give them to you so you can dismiss me again, right?"

Alastor flinched at her words, the sarcasm in her tone hitting him like a dagger. He clenched his jaw, his usually calm demeanour faltering for a moment. "You don't understand..." he said, the words coming out sharper than he intended.

(Y/n)'s anger and boldness grew with every second. "No, Alastor, I don't!" she spat the words at him. "I don't understand why, after everything I did, you couldn't at least call to tell me to leave you the fuck alone it that's what you wanted. I think I deserved at least that!"

Alastor’s mask of composure slipped, his expression darkening. "I never asked you to do anything for me, did I?" he snapped, his voice now laced with irritation. "You decided to help me on your own."

He took a step closer to her, almost towering over her. "So don’t act like I owe you anything."

You know what?” She said, her voice low and serious. “You’re right.” She admitted to him, looking into his eyes, trying her best not to cry right there.

“I wish I kicked you out that night right after you woke up, Alastor.” She told him and stormed off the door, shutting it with force behind her. Alastor stood there, dumbfounded, as he watched her storm out.

The sound of the door slamming echoed through his empty apartment, leaving a heavy silence in its wake.

He leaned against the wall, his expression a mixture of anger and frustration. He knew he messed up, but his pride didn’t allow him to admit it, to go after her. He walked into his living room, the silence surrounding him like a suffocating fog, he heard her parting words echoing in his mind.

'I wish I kicked you out that night...'

He clenched his jaw, his fists balled up in irritation. He should have been the one saying this. He should’ve been the one to dismiss her. But somehow, the tables had turned and she had the upper hand. And it frustrated him to no end. She was the reason he didn’t leave in the first place and now she’s mad at him.

Alastor growled in annoyance. She had no right to be mad at him! It wasn't his fault. He didn't ask for her help, and he certainly didn't ask her to keep checking up on him.

He clenched his teeth, the rage in him now boiling over. "Unbelievable," he muttered under his breath, his eyes fixed on the door she had slammed shut. He should just let her go, forget about her. She was a mere human, after all. Alastor was not. He had much more important things to focus on.

But he found himself unable to do that. He was irritated, yes. But the thought of her being out there, alone and upset, sent a sense of unease creeping up his spine.

And so, he sent one of his shadows to follow her, roaming the earth to look for her. He paced the room, minutes feeling like hours, his uneasiness stopping slightly when the shadow returned.

"Well?" he asked, his voice betraying a note of impatience.

The shadow nodded, the confirmation Alastor was waiting for. He didn't say a word, but a small wave of relief washed over him.

"Take me to her," he said quietly. Alastor followed the shadow as it led him to the park they used to walk in. His steps were firm and confident, but his mind was swirling with a mix of emotions.

He saw her sitting on a bench, shoulders slumped, head bowed. She was crying. This sight sent a pang of guilt through him. He didn’t like it. Didn’t like that he was the cause of her crying.

Alastor approached her, a coil in his stomach forming with every step. She noticed him and quickly looked away, ignoring him as he sat down next to her. Her nose and cheeks were red from the cold and she was trembling, trying to keep her already pale hands at least a little bit warm.

"You're cold," he noted, his voice unusually soft. He wanted to scold her, maybe even reprimand her for storming out like that. But seeing her like this made him hesitate.

“I’m not.” She quickly said, still not looking at him

Alastor rolled his eyes at her childish reply. "Don't lie. I can hear your teeth chattering from here." he retorted, but there was no real bite to his words.

“Why do you care?” She asked, her voice barely audible.

Alastor frowned at her question, his irritation growing. "I don't." he lied, his voice sharp. He was not about to admit the truth of why he was here. How could he admit it when even he couldn’t understand? Why was he here to check on her, after he just ignored her? He was Alastor. Not some lovesick puppy. He turned his head away from her, the silence between them thick and uncomfortable.

“Then leave…” (y/n) eventually said. “I’ll be fine. David will pick me up.” She was in fact lying. She didn't want to call David. Not anyone for that matter. She wanted to be left alone.

Alastor clenched his jaw, his irritation growing as he knew she was bluffing and lying about the ride. He could read her like an open book.

"I don't care if David picks you up or not," he said, his voice harsh. "But I'm not leaving you out here all alone in this cold." (Y/n) got up, harshly looking at him.

“You know what? Do you want to be even? Fine!” She shouted. “You saved me from freezing to death! Thank you! Now we’re even! Now leave me the fuck alone!” Her eyes were red and swollen from the crying, tears still flooding them. She walked away, but Alastor quickly got up and grabbed her arm, his grip firm.

With a low growl, Alastor reached out and gripped her chin, forcing her to look at him. His eyes bored into hers, anger and... worry burning into them.

"You're coming with me," he stated firmly, his voice leaving no room for argument.

(Y/n) wanted to protest, but she didn’t. She wanted to pull back when he grabbed her hand, leading her away from the bench, but she didn’t. She was tired, cold, angry…

He stopped a cab and opened the door for her, following her inside.

As the cab rattled to life, Alastor silently looked at (y/n). He could see the exhaustion in her eyes, the anger still simmering just below the surface. The ride was quiet, the tension between them palpable. When they finally reached her place, he followed her up the stairs, his hand still gripping her arm firmly.

Alastor immediately let go of her as soon as they entered the apartment, the sudden lack of warm skin against his hand sending an unexpected jolt through him.

He looked around the apartment, his eyes taking in the familiar surroundings. Everything was just as he remembered it. Organized and tidy. Peaceful.

“I expect you to leave as soon as possible.” She coldly said to him as she took her shoes off, keeping her gaze away from him.

Alastor bristled at her cold tone and the way she avoided his gaze. He had half a mind to just turn around and leave without a word, but something kept him there.

"You really want me to leave?" he asked, his voice betraying a hint of vulnerability he didn’t mean to show.

She sighed, tears refusing to come out anymore, but the feeling of wanting to cry was still there. “I am nothing to you, Alastor… why would I want you to stay?”

Alastor's heart clenched upon hearing her words. He wanted to deny it, tell her she was wrong. But he couldn’t. It was a fact he had reminded himself of countless times.

He was a selfish being. A demon. He didn’t have any room for a human in his life. Not even her.

But then, why was he here? Why was he so bothered by the thought of her crying? After a few moments of silence, Alastor finally spoke up, his voice quieter than before. "Sit down," he instructed her, making his way to the couch. She followed without protesting, hugging her knees to her chest as she sat down.

Seeing her like this made Alastor's heart skip a beat. She seemed so small and vulnerable. He looked away from her. He could feel her eyes on him, waiting for him to speak. He hated the silence, the tension. He wanted to say something, anything. But words eluded him.

What was he supposed to say anyway? Sorry? Sorry for dismissing her? For ignoring her? For treating her like a nuisance, a burden even though she has only ever helped him?

(Y/n) sighed, getting ready to get up, knowing that this would lead them nowhere.

"I'm not good with emotions and feelings," he finally said, his voice coming out soft and quiet, making her stop in her tracks. He didn’t look at her, his gaze fixed on the floor. "I've never been good at them. I don't know how to deal with them. I don't know how to deal with you..."

(Y/n) raised an eyebrow at his words. As much as she hated it, she still… felt some sympathy for him. She was hoping he’d say something awful, just so she would not be able to forgive him, just so she would have a reason to kick him out.

“With… me?” She asked.

Alastor sighed, raking a hand through his hair. "Yes, you," he confirmed, his voice growing taut with irritation.

He hated this. Hated this feeling of vulnerability, of being open and honest about his emotions. It was so unlike him.

"You're different." he continued, finally looking at her. "You always have been. You make me…" he trailed off, the words getting caught in his throat. He wanted to tell her she made him feel things he had never felt before. That she was unlike anyone he had ever met. That she had somehow weaselled her way into his heart, making it beat in a way it hadn’t in a very long time. But he didn’t. He couldn’t. The words were there, at the tip of his tongue, but they died before he could say them out loud.

He felt her warm hand suddenly resting on him, his whole body almost burning at the sensation. He pulled it away as a reflex, making her do the same.

"Sorry... I'm not used to... being touched so suddenly like this," he said, his voice so quiet. He looked at her, a pink blush spreading on her cheeks as she fidgeted her fingers. He noticed that at her. Whenever she was anxious she would do this. Slowly, he reached back for her hand, her eyes widening at the interaction.

"I'm sorry... I..." he started, not really finding the words. "I really don't want to make you suffer." he squeezed her hand slightly.

"You keep saying this, Al... But I don't get it... Hurt me how?" she asked him. He sighed, caressing the skin with his thumb.

"I can't open up, (y/n)... I was not used to this kind of things... My father..." he stopped, pinching the bridge of his nose. What was he doing...?

She squeezed back his hand. "Alastor... If you want this... I am willing to wait."

He looked at her, a genuine look on her face. He knew she didn't understand... He knew she would never understand but... Alastor also knew there was no way he could leave, not now.

His instincts acted in a weird way around her. He felt the need to protect her, to be with her.

"I do..."

Tags: @silence-burns, @ratsematary

Go to next chapter

[ken-dom]

Currently thinking about Jacob Palmer x fem reader going through a dry spell becoming more and more desperate for anything that he is willing to do anything to go home with you he’d get down on his knees and beg if you asked

Sorry for taking a billion years anon! Hope you’re still thinking about it 😩 personally, I can’t resist this. This lends itself so perfectly to pathetic Jacob, and I’m a sucker for making them pathetic 😈

What Jacob considers a dry spell wouldn’t be a very long period of time at all. Imagine him going home alone a few nights in a row, having failed at picking someone up. Then it turns into a couple of weeks and he's sad and horny...

NSFW, gn!reader

It’s happened before, it does from time to time, especially at the quieter times of year when the bars aren’t filled with potential matches for him.

But it’s not quiet right now. The bars are bustling, and he’s had plenty of chances. He just hasn’t actually managed to impress a single person he’s tried to chat up for almost a week.

And when going home alone bleeds into the second week, he wonders if he’s lost his charm, or his skill or — whatever that perfect combination of elements is that he’s spent years perfecting and has down to a fine art. Or, he thought he did.

He gives the bars a miss for a couple of nights. Maybe he’s just burnt out? But even his sex toys are boring him now, and the ache between his thighs is becoming unbearable. But he doesn't bother even trying tonight.

Laid in bed, lazily stroking his throbbing cock for the third night in a row, he feels a tear trickle down his cheek.

Enough is enough. Is this what he’s been reduced to? A sad, sobbing mess, jerking off alone on a Friday night?

He can't have that.

And so an hour later, he’s marching into the bar, the one he always starts at, and strides right up to you.

‘Hey,’ he nods, eyeing you. ‘You were here last week. You turned me down, remember?’

This time, he’s taking a more direct approach. He doesn’t have time to waste if he's going to change his luck.

‘Excuse me?’

‘I want you to come home with me,’ he says, plain, and then a little more seductive, 'I... I haven't stopped thinking about you.' It's a lie and you both know it.

‘No, thanks.’

‘A-alright. May I ask why?’ He might as well try and figure it out at the source since he’s dragged himself all the way here.

‘I don’t do one night stands. Not my thing. You seem very…’ your eyes drag up and down his body and he notices the way your lip curls at one side, ‘nice, but, no, thank you.’

They rarely do until they meet me, he thinks, but instead he says, ‘What if we don’t call it that?’

He turns to the bartender and gestures something, and you guess he must come here a lot because the man not only recognises him but immediately begins work on mixing two drinks.

Unfortunately, he’s so hot your general rule of no one night stands suddenly seems a stupid guideline to have placed on yourself. You begin to wonder, what if?

‘What are we supposed to call it then?’ you ask, with a sigh of resignation and a curiosity that slips though just enough to set excitement bubbling in his gut. ‘You won't call me after. I'll never see you again. Or, if I do, you'll pretend you don't know me. What can we call that?’

‘An adventure? Having fun? Whatever you want,’ he says eagerly, leaning in to follow up with a whisper. ‘One thing I can guarantee.’

‘And what would that be?’

‘Orgasms like you’ve never experienced.’ His voice has dropped low, breath hot against your ear, and your core clenches.

You didn't realise one night stands cared about a single orgasm let alone the plural. Fuck. You want him.

‘But I don’t even know your-’

‘Jacob.’ Wow that was too fast.

‘Okay, Jacob. Let’s say I come home with you. Hypothetically. What then?’

He’s never had to play desperate before, but your response to it is making his blood run hot. For the first time in his adult life he’s not sure what to say, dazed by his bodies reaction to you. Is he playing desperate or just plain pathetic? His cock twitches and he grips the edge of the bar, not going unnoticed by you.

The cocktails he ordered are placed on the bar in front of you and you turn to take yours, delighted at the taste. He has good taste. You could tell that a mile off, but feeling it against your tongue hits different.

‘Oh, this is good!’ you exclaim, wondering why he hasn’t picked up his drink. When you turn back, ready to accept his invitation after all, he’s not there.

Well, he is there. Just not where you left him.

He’s knelt at your feet, gazing up at you, and suddenly you understand the true meaning of the phrase puppy dog eyes. And it makes your heart race. You suddenly feel the need to slam him against a wall, strip him bare and watch him tremble.

‘I’ll do whatever you want me too,’ he promises. ‘Give you whatever you need. Thats what’ll happen if you come home with me.’

‘Anything?’ you ask, knees turning weak at how utterly needy he looks down there.

‘Anything.’

‘Let me get my coat.’

[makeitmingi]

Cause Baby You're My Muse [Chapter 50]

Genre: Romance, Idol!AU, Music, Slight angst

Pairing: Mingi x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Producer!Reader, IdolLyricist!Mingi, IdolProducer!Hongjoong, Idol!Seonghwa, Idol!Yunho, Idol!Wooyoung, Idol!San, Idol!Yeosang, Idol!Jongho, cameo(s) by other celebrities

Summary: You always preferred producing underground, having an unknown face and governed by your own rules. But when you start freelancing for idol groups, you say goodbye to your lone wolf lifestyle as you learn to work with idol producers and lyricists.

Word count: 3.3K

As comeback season right around the corner, you saw the boys a lot lesser. You dealt with whatever came at you on your own until it hit you that your worst fears came true.

You've grown dependent on them.

Having to grow up and take care of Haneul independently, you've always told yourself that you would never be dependent on anyone else. Because you lend yourself to heart break. It was too daunting to trust someone so much that you've built walls around yourself and your heart.

But these 8 boys made you lower your defenses. No one has ever been able to worm their way into your life so easily.

You never thought you were capable of loving another person like you love Mingi. You don't regret nor deny your feelings for Mingi but it still scared you. A part of you felt like you didn't deserve him.

RINGGGGG

The phone ringing on your desk made you jump, breaking your internal monologue. You cleared your throat and lower the volume of your music before answering the phone.

"INDIGO!"

"Don't YELL! My ear is right next to your mouth!" Hongjoong exclaimed.

"Now you're yelling, hyung." Jongho stated.

"Umm... Hello? Is everything okay?" You chuckled at how the boys just turned to arguing amongst themselves or more like Hongjoong scolding them, momentarily forgetting that you were on the other side of the line. But you were used to this.

"Yes, Indigo. Everything is fine, don't worry... Guys, can we get back to the reason we called Indigo? She's waiting for us and you're all just bickering like kids." Yunho got everyone's attention.

"This is why I should have just been the one to call her." Mingi voiced.

"Oh shush, Mingi. But Yunho is right. We want to invite you out for dinner tonight! We'll watch the music video release together." San explained.

"Music video release...?" You tilted your head, frowning in slight confusion. That was when you pulled open your calendar and looked at the date today.

"Dear Indigo. Did you forget that tonight is the music video release?" Yeosang chuckled.

"I... No! I remembered!" You grew flustered. With everything happening, you didn't even remember that today was the music video release day. It was so anticipated, the first time the song with made with Ateez would be put out there. You hated that this person threatening you that took away your excitement.

"It's okay, baby. We understand that you're busy with all your projects and deadlines now, it happens to the best of us. Yah! Stop making her feel bad." Mingi comforted.

"Aww, thanks, Mings." You giggled. Trust Mingi to always be on your side and protect you.

"You're just saying that because you're biased! You let her get away with everything." Wooyoung yelled.

"Of course, she's my girlfriend! If I don't protect her, who will? And I'm not the only one. Hongjoong hyung and Seonghwa hyung are Mr Big Brothers." Mingi argued.

"So I guess we'll see you tonight at the dorm?" You heard Seonghwa's voice through the bickering.

"Yes, Hwa. I'll see you all tonight." You replied.

"Baby, are you in the studio now? Is it a good time for me to drop by for a bit?" Mingi asked before you could hang up. You looked at the studio around you. It wasn't a good idea for Mingi or anyone to be in your studio now.

"Sorry, Mings. Today's schedule is quite packed. I've got back to back calls with clients for my projects then a meeting with Maddox after." You apologised.

"Nothing for you to apologise for, baby. I'll catch you around later then. If not, I'll see you tonight." Mingi assured.

"Okay before you guys start having your own little couple's conversation. I'm taking my phone back and cutting the call."

"I can just call her on my own phone..." Mingi said.

"DO THAT THEN!" Hongjoong yelled, ending the call, either on purpose or accidentally. You blinked in shock and picked up the phone to see that indeed, the call got cut.

The music video releasing tonight marked the start of comeback season, it also meant that the promotional showcase would be happening soon. And before you knew it, the boys would be actively promoting their new album across multiple platforms; music shows, radio appearance, variety shows, even overseas performances.

*DING DONG*

"Coming." You went to the door. You answered it by poking your head out first, in case it was one of the Ateez boys. But it was just Eden so you let him in.

"What's up?" You asked.

"Just wanted to come and see how you were doing. By the looks of it, you got things handled?" He said, looking around the studio space.

"Yeah. But I've been so caught up, I didn't even realise that the music video release was tonight. The boys just invited me over for dinner tonight and to watch the video release." You informed.

"That's good. You should enjoy it, Indigo. Forget all this for a bit, you know?" He chuckled.

"Don't worry, I will. It'll be nice to see what an idol's comeback season is like or at least, witness the start of it." You smiled. Eden nodded, patting your head. He was another person you were grateful for, not only helping you through this but also mentoring you.

"I'll see you at the promotional showcase. If you need help with the other stuff, let me know." He said. You nodded and bowed gratefully, walking him out.

'Hi baby, sorry Hongjoong hyung hung up on you just now. It was rude. But don't worry, Seonghwa hyung scolded him. - Mings'

'Hi, Mings. Don't worry about it, I'm used it. Not the hanging up part, the part about how you guys are utter chaos. Joong must have been driven up the wall by all of you. - Baby'

'They should have just let me invite you to dinner. There wouldn't be fighting over the phone then. - Mings'

'That wouldn't be fair. - Baby'

'Fair?! What fairness is there?! I'm the one dating you! We're a couple, a pair, our minds are linked. These things like inviting you for dinner is my DUTY! - Mings'

Even though fans like to tease Mingi over how possessive he is of his best friend, Yunho, you always thought it was adorable when he acted like that. He would have this little pout when he tells you how upset or jealous he is. And of course, he was rather dramatic, as if you've betrayed an entire kingdom.

'Okay okay, Mr Jealous Pants. I swear, you're just as possessive as Wooyoung. - Baby'

'I'm not going to let you shame me for being possessive over my girlfriend. That's a priviledge of being a couple. And don't compare me to Wooyoung. - Mings'

'Alright, I have to go. I'll text you later. I love you. - Baby'

'Work hard, baby! I love you too. Knowing that I'll be thinking of you. ;) - Mings'

You couldn't help but laugh at how cheesy he was. Mingi liked to play things cool but he was an absolute cheesy goofball around you. It was the real, honest side of him that only you saw.

"Indigo? You free to start our session early?" Jongho appeared outside your studio.

"Sure. Let me get my stuff and I'll meet you in the recording studio." You told him. He nodded and walked to the recording studio. Even Jongho and Seonghwa didn't know the current state of the studio, you didn't want to bother them with it.

"Sorry, I was busy with some calls from other project partners and forgot we're even meeting today." You laughed as you entered and sat down at the table, setting up the system.

"No worries. Take your time." He smiled. While you got ready, Jongho warmed up his vocals behind you.

Jongho offered to help you record some guide vocals for some draft tracks that you have and of course you weren't going to say no.

"Are you sure you have time to do this? You know, with the comeback and all." You asked, facing the screen as you pulled up your notes and composing softwares.

"It's all good. This is under my comeback schedule." He chuckled.

"Sure..." You turned around with a raised eyebrow. When you were ready, Jongho went to the recording booth.

"Ah, ah, ah. Can you hear me?" He spoke into the mic as he put on the headphones, adjusting the volume of the audio that was being fed through.

"Loud and clear." You pressed the button and spoke into your own mic. Jongho sang a tester line to get his starting pitch right. When he was ready, he gave the thumbs up and you played the music. You watched him recording, holding his phone up to refer to the lyrics that he wrote for the guide.

"Sorry, let's go again." He stopped singing to apologise, the track still playing behind him.

"No worries. No need to rush through. Take it slow." You told him upon stopping the music to replay it for him again. Jongho's vocals were so strong, you were honoured to be able to work with him.

"I'll record the chorus again, please." He requested, taking a drink of water as he waited for you to play just the chorus for him.

"Counting into the chorus." You said.

"That's a great one. Take a few minutes and let me know which track you want to do next." You told him.

You worked with Jongho for a few hours, it was a very productive session with Jongho's professionalism and keen ears. Even after the recording was done, he sat with you and was able to offer some advice on what to change.

"Thanks again for today." You patted his shoulder as you both stood outside the recording studio.

"No need to. I had fun. So I guess I'll see you tonight?" He tilted his head. You nodded with a smile and waved to him before you both parted ways.

"Oh, Hwa." You were shocked the see the male standing by your studio door.

"Hey. Did you just come from a meeting?" He smiled, pushing himself off the wall to wrap an arm around you.

"Uh, yeah. Just some guide recording with Jongho." You told him. Seonghwa already noticed the way you suddenly grew nervous but made no attempt to open your studio door.

"So... what's up?" You asked him.

"We've been busy preparing for the comeback and haven't been able to see how you've been doing. Or at least physically visit you. So since I have some free time and I was in the building, I wanted to check in and see if everything is okay. Is now not a good time?" He asked, his expression softening.

"Sorry... But rest assured, I'm fine. Just been busy with everything else." You reassured him. Seonghwa guessed your apology was referring to it wasn't a 'good time' now.

"Don't apologise. I'm glad you're doing okay, at least. Make sure you eat your meals and get some sleep." He patted your head.

"I will. I just..." You chewed on your bottom lip.

"No need to explain yourself to me. I understand." He smiled softly, making you let out a soft sigh of relief. No one should see the state of your studio now.

"I'll see you tonight at the dorm then." He said. You nodded and gave him a brief hug.

Once Seonghwa left, you entered your studio, making sure to lock the door behind you. You sat back at your desk, opening your laptop to start working on the guide vocals Jongho just recorded, distracting you from the moving boxes that sat around you.

-

"There she is." Yunho grinned, seeing you rush out of the lift and into the basement carpark. You waved, knowing they wouldn't be able to see you smile with your mask on.

"Hi, Yuyu." You hugged him. He patted your head and held your bag for you while you climbed into the van.

"Thanks for waiting." You said, removing your mask once the van door was closed.

"We didn't wait long. We just ended too." San assured, moving to the back so you could sit next to Mingi, who had his headphones on. You sat between him and Yunho.

"Hi." Mingi whispered. Since he couldn't kiss you, he slipped an arm around your waist, softly squeezing your hip to show you affection.

"Hey, how was work?" You asked.

"Good. The work out was tiring but we need to build stamina and endurance for the comeback." He replied. You nodded, knowing that all the boys have been working hard in the gym. Throughout the drive, you chatted with Yunho and San about how they have been too since it's been a while.

"Well, your new skincare routine must be working out well because you're glowing, Sannie." You giggled.

"I am? Thank you." San blushed slightly, hands coming up to touch his cheek. Mingi's arm remaind around your waist securely but he was more focused on listening to his music.

"Actually, now that I think about it, we've never seen you dance before, Indigo. Even in informal settings." Yunho pointed out.

"Why would you suddenly bring that up? And I'll have you know, you have never seen me dance because I have two left feet. I suck at dancing." You sighed.

"Really?" San blinked.

"Haneul can tell you all about it. She's always making fun of my dancing." You rolled your eyes.

"Maybe you need a dance lesson. I'll give you a free dance lesson any time you like." Yunho winked. That made Mingi clear his throat really loudly, glaring at his best friend for flirting with his girlfriend right in front of him.

"Thanks but I have no intention of being a dancer. I'll stick to being behind the scenes, producing in my studio, in front of my computer." You chuckled.

When the van pulled up, the manager let you all get out of the van. Mingi wordlessly took your bag and slung it over his shoulder.

"We're home!" San and Yunho announced as you all removed your shoes at the entrance of the dorm.

"Finally. I've been waiting to do this." Mingi wrapped his arms around your waist, drawing you in so he could kiss you. You giggled into the kiss, hands moving to hold his biceps.

"I've missed you, baby." He stroked his head.

"I've missed you too." You smiled fondly at him, tip toeing to plant another kiss on his cheek.

"I missed you the most!" Wooyoung exclaimed as he came over, scooping you up and spinning you around. You burst out laughing as Mingi yelled at Wooyoung for stealing you. With one hand on either side of your face, he aggressively pressed a kiss to your cheek with a loud smack.

"Jung Wooyoung!" Mingi yelled.

"Joongie!" You went to hug the captain, who was standing by the kitchen. He smiled at you and wrapped his arms around you, patting your lower back lovingly.

"How have you been?" He asked, patting your head.

"Good. You've lost weight." You pouted, feeling how small his waist has gotten since you've last hugged him.

"Hi, Yeosangie." You greeted. Yeosang smiled through his wet bangs, having just stepped out of the shower. He wrapped an arm around you to pull you in for a hug.

"We've missed you being around." He chuckled.

"I miss all of you too." You said as he ruffled your hair. Since you were in a hoodie and sweats, you momentarily went to Mingi's room to change into lighter clothes. You stole onto of Mingi's shirts to wear instead. Just as you pulled the shirt down, someone came in.

"Relax, it's just me." Mingi said when you turned around quickly to see who had come in.

"You should still knock when you know I'm changing." You crossed your arms and raised an eyebrow at him. Mingi's hands came to rest at your hips.

"I really missed you. I'm glad you're here." He pressed his lips to your forehead. When he pulled away, you leaned against him.

"Even though we live in the same building, our schedules still take us away from each other." You chuckled.

"Mhmm, it's gonna get harder as comeback season begins." He said, one hand coming up to rub your back as he held you to his body. You bunched the material of his shirt.

"But we'll be okay." He whispered, kissing the crown of your head.

"You two have 5 minutes to come out or I'm going in, and you wouldn't want me going in there especially since I haven't even greeted my daughter yet." You two heard Seonghwa knocking the door. Seonghwa was lying, acting like you didn't have the exchange with him earlier today outside your studio.

"Alright, we're coming!" You giggled. Mingi grasped your hand as you pulled away and left him to the door. Seonghwa opened his arms to hug you. He patted your head like Hongjoong did.

"Have you been well? Taking care of yourself and eating meals?" He asked. You nodded your head.

"Good." He praised. You and Mingi walked to the living room area to see everyone bringing the multiple plates of food out.

"Wow. That's a lot of food." You said.

"We never have enough food." Jongho scoffed, making you laugh. You momentarily let go of Mingi's hand to help Yeosang bring the eating plates and cutlery out.

Mingi stared at the hand that you just let go of, why did it suddenly feel weird when you hand slipped away from his? A heavy feeling settled in his chest. Mingi didn't understand it. His hand felt so empty and cold that he clenched it.

"Mingi hyung, are you okay?" Jongho asked, noticing the taller just stand there, staring at his hand weirdly. Mingi nodded his head. At Jongho's question, you lifted your head to see Mingi walking away.

"Where's he going?" You came to the maknae. He shrugged and you followed where Mingi left.

"Mings?" You knocked on the bathroom door. The lock clicked and you let yourself in. Mingi leaned against the sink.

"You okay?" You frowned in concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine, baby. I just spaced out for a moment and needed to wash my face." He said. You stood between his legs as his arms circled around you.

"Are you not feeling well?" You tried to touch his forehead but he avoided your hands, instead leaning down to press his eyes against your shoulder. It was silent and all you could hear was Mingi's slightly heavy breathing right by your ear. Your hands came up to brush the hair at the back of his neck.

"Are you tired? You can sleep if you want." You spoke softly. He shook his head.

"I'm fine. I just wanted to hold you." He mumbled. You let out a hum, giving him as much time as he needed. When he was ready, you both went out to join the others at the table.

"The countdown!" Wooyoung cheered excitedly as you all looked at the Youtube countdown on the screen.

"Turn the volume up." Hongjoong said to Seonghwa, who had the remote. You held Mingi's hand, squeezing it nervously. Even if you didn't appear in the music video, you felt the nerves in your stomach.

"Don't be nervous." He comforted.

"You're nervous? Don't be! The song is great, ATINY will love it for sure." Seonghwa added after hearing Mingi comfort you.

"Shh, it's starting!" San hushed everyone. This was the first time you were watching the video after all the editing. You were offered a chance to watch it by the video production team after the cut and editing but you had declined.

As the video started, you cast glances at the 8 boys around you, their eyes glued to the screen with anticipation and excitement. You couldn't help but smile sadly, knowing you'll miss this.

~

Series Masterlist

[misscherry-26]

The Billionaire and the Stripper. CHAPTER ONE.

Summary: Billionaire businessman, Ari Levinson, seems to have everything he could ever want: wealth, power, and success. But beneath the surface, he is haunted by his troubled past and the demons that have plagued him for years. Y/N Y/L/N is a stripper struggling with dreams of a better life. She may not have much, but she knows how to survive and make the most of what she has. But when one night Ari walks into the club Y/N works at, he is immediately captivated by her presence and drawn to her in a way that he cannot explain. As they embark on a passionate and intense relationship, they must confront the challenges and obstacles of their vastly different lifestyles. Can Ari and Y/N bridge the gap between their two worlds and find a way to make their relationship work? Or will their differences prove too great to overcome, tearing them apart forever?

Pairing: Billionaire! Ari Levinson x Stripper! Reader

Warnings: Mature content. Mention of the objectification of women (slight).

Author's note: I'm so excited about this series. My officially first series and also my first time writing Ari. This maybe don't show much about them yet but next chapter we are going to have more of Ari's pov. Let me know your thoughts about this first chapt after reading it if you want. Enjoy it!!

Series Masterlist.

Y/N

Again. You sigh.

Again you will need to explain to Rita that you won’t be able to pay this month’s rent. Neither will the previous month's. But hey, this is what it is.

“I can lend you money Y/N, you know that right? And then you give it back to me when you can, there's no rush.” Leslie, your faithful co-worker who is also your best friend outside of this place, hugs you from behind. You are sitting in front of the locker room mirror, there is a small wallet on the makeup table, some money inside it, and a couple more in your hand.

"Les, no. I appreciate it but really, no."

Your friend sighs. "Why don't you let me help you?"

You turn your back to the mirror for a moment to look at her. “I am not going to take away what little you have, it is yours. enjoy it."

“If by enjoying it you mean spending it on grocery shopping to survive the whole month, Wow Y/N! What a party I'll have!" Leslie intones sarcastically as you smile, but not out of happiness or grace, more of a hopeless smile.

“Someday my friend,” she turns you around, taking you by the shoulders so that they both face the mirror, “someday, money will rain down on us, we will get out of this joint and we will achieve our goals.”

"I hope so Les, I hope so."

“Good news!” Les jumps behind you, scaring the soul out of your body.

“Dammit!” you say, even though the word is distorted because your mouth is full of food. Your dinner.

Sometimes you wish to eat at some restaurant, order food, like pizza or a big hamburger. You sigh. Clearly, some leftover pasta is going to be for now.

"Stop eating. I have a job for you baby girl." Clapping her hands she smiles and sits in front of you. "Listen, Amanda got sick so she isn't coming tonight and I heard Susan being so fucking sick with not canceling this one. This one is a new client".

"And?" You say, your mouth still filled with a new bite of your food.

"What kind of shows does Amanda do? Duh Y/n! VIP ones!"

You close your eyes, stunned. "Don't shout at me!" You laugh and cover your ears.

"Sorry," Your friend giggles and takes a pause before continuing. ”But back to the important thing, guess who will replace her? You!”

“What?” You almost choke on your food while getting up. "I can't, Les! You know I don't work in those shifts anymore since he…"

"I know, I know. Don't even mention him, okay? Don't, that's in the past. He doesn't come here anymore, and you know." She reassures you, hugging you at hitting such a sensitive topic and experience of your life. But your friend is right, that's in the past.

"Yeah, sorry I–Thank you, Les, really".

Your best friend brokes the hug and smiles. "Does this mean you are going to do it?"

You nod, silently telling her that yes. Leslie jumps and claps her hands, leaving you standing there for a second as she takes her makeup bag and puts it on your desk.

"Sit down, let's get you ready for it baby."

ARI

Patience is not a quality of the big, tall, beefy man who is sitting on the sofa in the room, whiskey in hand.

He has been waiting twenty minutes for today's supposed company. When clearly, at the entrance, he asked everything to be ready in less than ten.

Ari sighs wearily, drinking what's left in his glass. He gets up to refill it once more, taking a moment to look at the rest of the room.

The walls were stained red, except for the ceiling and floor, which were black, as dark as being lost in a forest in the middle of nowhere. From this, it hung a chandelier that gave warmth to the environment. In front of him, a stage, not a very big one, enough for one person, accompanied by the sofa in which he was sitting until a moment ago. Ari walks over to it again after getting his drink and sits down.

At that moment, the door opens.

Y/N

You can do this, you can do this, you can do this. You repeat yourself mentally. Your hands shake too much, nerves? No. Fear.

After months of so much work to move on, to overcome it on your own, as you have always done, today you feel as if it were that same day.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Y/n!! If you don't open this door now I swear you will go home without a job!!" Susan screams from the other side of the bathroom door. "Y/n!!!"

Exhausted, you get up from the toilet and wash your hands (you know that Alicia, the cleaning lady keeps them sparkling clean, but bathrooms are bathrooms).

Looking in the mirror, your smile curves, your eyes narrow. A big smile adorns your face.

Remember why you are doing this.

Stepping inside the room, she had no time to say hello.

"You are late." It's the first thing she hears.

Y/n curses mentally, of course she knows that, but instead of discussing it with the man, she smiles. Remember he pays for you to survive the day to day.

"Well, I'm here now, right?" You try to sound innocent. Stupid. That's what they all like.

" 'Course you are." He laughs, "But truth is, I don't want the show now."

Your expression drops. "What?"

You couldn't see him, not daring to get close to him. After all, you don't know him, you don't really know anyone.

They just pay you, do your job, do what they say. It's what Susan always tells you. But sometimes… sometimes you wish you could tell them only two words… They think they rule the world because they have money. They probably haven't even had to move a pinky at all since they were born.

A throat clearing draws you back to reality.

The big man, whose face is still unknown to you, stretches his arm over his back, exhaling heavily.

" 'You still here? I don't want you anymore, get out of here".

Not knowing if it was the way he said it, so selfless, so dead, like you were a toy. An object. And you can handle anything else, but that? Oh no, not that. No more.

So without thinking, you blurt out those two words you've always wanted to yell from the rooftops to all these rich bastards. Fuck you.

After hearing you, the man makes no sound in his mouth but you notice how his body tenses. So he rises from his seat, resting the half-drunk glass of whiskey on the floor and turns around to face you.

And when he does it, your heart seems to stop.

Taglist (Open): @bunnyforhim @wintasssoldier @buckysteveloki-me @magnificentsaladllama @yoruse

[carlos-in-glasses]

The Notorious C-I-G

💌 🍄 📚 🏜️ 🐝 (you don’t have to answer this one if you don’t want, I already know it’s me 🤭)

Lemon...right?

💌 ⇢ how many unread emails do you have right now?

Darn you for making me look! 248!

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Answered this one here and here but here is another: After Andrea met TK and really started opening up her heart and mind to Carlos being gay and in love with another man, she began seeking out queer art, books, shows, so she could learn more about the community her son is a part of. Carlos recommends and lends her things! I touch on this in my fic Wrestling Angels.

📚 ⇢ what’s the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?

I didn't have to say anything. He knew I was shaking.

🏜️ ⇢ what’s your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

I love it when an aspect or overall theme leads a reader to discuss something and it gets a bit more personal and chatty. Fire Island and Sweet Dreams and Flying Machines led to comments in which people shared their memories and feelings about the AIDS crisis and about 9/11 respectively. I guess it makes it seem like the fic has a bit more 'social impact' in a way. It's quite amazing when that happens.

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

Haha @lemonlyman-dotcom... right? You have been so supportive and friendly from the beginning - the beginning being pre-tumblr when you were leaving such lovely comments on my fics. When I saw you'd set up your tumblr I was so happy to be able to interact with you on here too. And now look!

And @thisbuildinghasfeelings - you were one of the first people I spoke to on here and your kindness and enthusiasm not just towards my writing is just incredible and I feel very lucky you're here.

@heartstringsduet your comment on Afterglow of a Supernova basically changed my life in that it made me instantly more confident in my writing, like it represented a turning point in how I felt about it, and you've always been in my corner. And you've made art for my fics???!!!

@goodways you have been so lovely about my fics I feel like I can never thank you enough and your comments always make me laugh and make me think. Your feedback always means the world to me.

@herefortarlos your enthusiasm for my fics, all fics and this fandom is a thing of beauty and so inspiring.

@welcometololaland you were one of the first people to ever tag me in anything and I remember it vividly because I couldn't believe it haha. Your comments are always so hilarious and make me feel like I've done something right, and without you I wouldn't have written I Was Thinking About Your Mouth, so I am forever grateful for that and for you being such a good sounding board when I complain about work!

@cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut mate, you are divine and the fact that you spend any time beta'ing my fics when they are still kinda hot messes is wild to me. Thank you as well for your kindness and generosity!

@im-overstimulated-and-im-sad you are a delight and your comments are like a balm to my soul!

@reyesstrand Also from really early on you were leaving such encouraging comments on my fics and including me in WIP tags and things and I'm so grateful and forever awestruck.

@paperstorm I always cherish in particular how incredible you were about Fire Island (and When Soulmates Swim recently!), and how you helped so much in my hour of need when the whole scary situation around Afterglow of a Supernova happened. Thank you!

There are other people too of course but I worry I'm banging on a bit too much like I'm at the Oscars and the music is going to play over me talking so I just want to wrap up by saying thank you to everyone who has read my fics and commented and left kudos - I've said it before and I'll say it again, it really does blow me away that you're giving your precious free time to my stories in that way.

[punsmaster69]

19/OCT/20XX

at some ungodly hour, i woke up on the couch, papyrus sitting beside me.

i tried to get to the kitchen and snag something from the fridge without waking him, but he hopped up the second i set foot in the kitchen.

"...'sup, paps. sorry to wake you."

"HOW ARE YOU FEELING?"

"i'm good. pretty hungry, though."

"I'M GOING TO TAKE IT THAT YOUR LACK OF PUPILS IS.. NOT INTENTIONAL."

"...what?"

"they're gone?"

closed, open.

open, closed.

"nothing?"

"THEY'RE STILL GONE."

"..literally knocked my lights out, huh? weird."

"CAN YOU SEE ALRIGHT?"

"vision's the same."

in the light of the fridge, i could see him anxiously fidgeting.

"i feel fine, so you should go back to sleep."

"just gonna eat and then.."

"..well. can't say i'm very tired anymore, so i guess i'll just hang out. watch tv or something."

"I.."

"I'M NOT TIRED, EITHER!"

"..SO, I'LL ALSO JUST HAVE TO 'HANG OUT' ."

"ok. you want me to grab you anything while i'm here?"

he shook his head.

paps quietly observed me the whole time, but i don't know what for.

kept opening his phone, typing to someone.

"who else is up at this hour to be responding to you?"

"ALPHYS HAS YET TO FALL ASLEEP."

"wanna see if she wants to hang out too? that way we can all be nighttime losers together."

"..EXCLUDING THE LOSERS PART, A SLEEPLESS SLEEPOVER SOUNDS HELPFUL!"

"helpful?"

"FUN. I MEANT FUN."

——

"heya."

"Hey-"

"EEK!!"

"Wh-why are your eyes off?!"

"dunno. woke up with 'em stuck."

"HELLO ALPHYS!"

"Hi, Papyrus."

they exchanged a series of looks whose meanings were lost on me.

"..so whenever you're done with the staring contest, there's blankets here for you, alphys.

"Oh- um, yeah. S-sorry. Thanks, Sans."

——

"ARE THERE REALLY BEINGS UP THERE IN THE SKY??"

"This is show is (very) fake, Papyrus."

"REALLY?"

"what, you don't believe in aliens?"

"I do! What I 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 believe is that they'd visit Earth to draw circles in farmland and steal cows."

"WHY WOULD THEY NEED SO MANY?"

"Exactly!"

"Totally ridiculous."

"maybe they wanna make their own farm."

"But why the crop circles?"

"i'm not one to judge someone's artistic medium."

"What meaning do those hold??"

"PERHAPS THEY ARE SUGGESTING THAT LIFE IS BUT A CIRCLE THAT LOOPS ENDLESSLY."

"........."

"that's crazy talk."

"YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT."

"CIRCLES ARE PROBABLY JUST THEIR FAVORITE SHAPE!"

"I guess that could be true."

"Still, weird place for it."

"maybe they buried treasure."

"THAT'S CRAZY TALK, TOO!!"

"All of this is crazy to begin with."

"true."

——

tori called me, hearing from papyrus that i was awake now.

we got off-topic quickly.

"i think my shirt has a hole in it."

"Would you like for me to lend you another one?"

"...i'll just sew it at some point."

"Hehe, okay. If you say so."

"What a shame, I was looking forward to finding the most embarrassing thing in my closet for you."

"the previous time was intentional?"

"..No! I do not know why you would ever think that."

"i feel less bad about that skeleton-hand shirt, now."

"What a shame it is for you, that I like it so much."

"I have been wearing it to bed as pajamas, since it is not quite appropriate for my little ones to see."

"probably for the best."

if flowey saw it.. my cause of death might suddenly change from 'unknown illness' to 'botany accident'.

"You are sounding a lot less drained today."

"Are you feeling better now?"

"yeah, way better."

"I am glad to hear that."

"Is your eye feeling better, as well?"

"they, uh, don't hurt, anymore...?"

"But, something is different?"

"....."

"nah. they're all good."

"Sans..."

"...."

"If they are 'all good' as you say, you would not mind turning on your camera, would you?"

i stared at the enable camera button on my phone.

it stared back.

"i'm.."

"naked."

"totally bones out-"

"Sans."

"ribs in the open air-"

"𝘚𝘢𝘯𝘴."

"You mentioned your shirt a mere moment ago."

"So unless simply talking to me over the phone was enough to make you strip..."

"Please show me your eyes."

damn it.

"...Please, uncover the camera."

"it's not covered. must be broken."

".........."

the disappointment was loud. i slid my finger off the camera.

"it-"

"this doesn't hurt, at all."

"my sight still works, and-"

"Does that not hinder your ability to express emotion?"

"like i did much of that."

"Sans, a monster's ability to express themselves is one of the most important things they could lose."

"they'll come back. i'll survive without 'em for a while."

"Have you tried doing it manually?"

"like...?"

"Can you use magic to return your pupils?"

"i-"

"Please, just try."

"....ok."

𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗸,

....

𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗸.

"......"

"anything?"

"Yes!"

"..huh."

had a slight ache in my skull before, but it felt like it got a little better all of a sudden.

"Without your pupils, you have quite the threatening energy about you."

"oh. ..yeah."

"It is nice to see your expressions again!"

"...."

"guess i'll keep doing this, then."

"There is nothing else I should be concerned about, is there?"

"that's it."

"It is easier to tell whether you are being truthful or not!"

"nevermind. i'm turning 'em off."

"Do not!"

"don't need an automatic lie detector on my face."

"It is so nice to see you look my way."

"..if you turned on your camera, i'd have more to look at."

".....Then, give me just a moment."

after about a minute, she returned.

"I apologize. I had to find some pants."

"n-"

"no worries."

tori turned on her camera.

i waited in anticipation as it loaded.

her fur was slightly ruffled, which she also said sorry for.

"I hope you do not mind too much."

"not- not at all. it's cu-"

"uh, looks. looks good."

"You are also looking good, for a skeleton sitting in bed right now."

"thanks. guess that's why they call it beauty sleep."

"It must be!"

——

she stared at me intently, as if trying to memorize my features.

"you're not gonna forget me that quickly, right?"

"Forgetting you would not be easy. I simply wish to have your image as fresh as possible in my mind."

"..You cannot stare back!"

"why not?"

"I am appreciating your candid face."

"...it's hard to stay that way when you're looking at me like that."

tori leaned even closer to the phone.

i covered the camera.

"Awww."

"I suppose I should go back to sleep now, anyway."

"Good night, Sans."

"goodnight, tori."

"....."

"I care for you very much. Please be safe."

"i ..care for you, too."

i stared at the blank phone screen for a while, replaying the call in my mind.

my soul felt like it was gonna jump out of my chest.

eventually gathering myself, i reentered the living room to join papyrus and alphys.

[pawsometoons]

GUESS I'LL SAY THANK YOU FOR LENDING ME YOUR LIFE!~

[gaywarcriminals]

Hi,.....if you don't mind me asking, can I ask your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from SVSSS? And why you loved them? And your top 5 favorite moments from the novel? Sorry if you've answered this question before....Thanks....

Sorry for the late reply, I was offline for a bit when it was sent and the notif got buried!

Characters

Yue Qingyuan. I think it will come as no surprise to anyone given my blog title and header lol. Explaining why I love him so much would turn into a full character analysis, but he is just So soggy and bitable. He tries so hard but lives in a world where he's destined to fail, both because of his background and the narrative he's trapped in. He cares so much in a world that will never reward him for that. He repeats the same mistakes over and over because he can't see an alternative path. He is SO SAD AND SO DIVORCED and so traumatized but probably has a complete inability to recognize that fact and he loves and loves and loves but love is not enough to save anyone.

Shen Jiu. He's probably the reason I'm obsessed with SVSSS, instead of just having a passing interest. A week or two after I read the novel for the first time, I started thinking about him and just ended up full on weeping. I find his character incredibly compelling; I love absolute messes, and I really really love seeing a depiction of trauma where the character does not come out stronger or "beautifully broken". It's hard not to be compelled by a character who literally represents the cycle of abuse, who is allowed by the narrative to be both tragic victim and heinous abuser, who is allowed to show what abuse does to people. On a lighter note, I find his younger personality very funny, especially with his dynamic with Yue Qi. He's an absolute gremlin and he lends well to absurdity in lighter fics.

Luo Binghe. Who doesn't love the protagonist!! My reasons for loving Binghe overlap with my reasons for loving SJ— they're foils after all— but I think the core of it is that Binghe is just Deeply Human. He’s just a little guy who’s desperate to be loved. He’s a poorly trained puppy biting down to hold on to the only person who’s ever treated him properly. He’s never done anything wrong in his life.

Shen Qingqiu. His internal dialogue/ narration is why SVSSS is so fun to read! He’s the man shaping this tragedy into a comedy. He’s so insane and so unselfaware, I need to dissect him. Ultimately he’s just a really fun character! 10/10 would chuck him at a wall.

Liu Qingge. He has sword autism what more need I say. I don't talk about him as much on here because my interpretation of him tends to contradict fanon, but I love him so much and I shove him into so many OT3s. Bonus: Qi Qingqi and Mu Qingfang. They're the two background characters with minimal characterization I've latched on to and created massive sprawling headcanons for. This is mostly because I think they are both very sexy.

Moments So fun fact I have clinical memory issues and it’s been a little bit since I read all of SVSSS, so this is WAY harder for me, and I'll definitely miss something. But of what I can recall: 

Xiao Jiu threatening to bash another boy’s head in with a rock, and Yue Qi saying “he didn’t mean it”, even though SJ Definitely Meant It and YQ Definitely Knew That. I just find it cute when children are violent I guess 🤣 (Cheng Qian my beloved), and It kind of foreshadows their later dynamic where YQY covers for SQQ without question— YQY thinks he’s doing the same thing as when they were kids, and SQQ thinks YQY is trying to sweep a troublesome mess under the rug. In general, YQY puts a lot more value on their times as slaves than SQQ does/ is more nostalgic for it (probably because YQY’s Intensely traumatic moments were after he joined CQMS, whereas the worst parts of SQQ’s life were all before that point (until Bingge lol))

YQY paying for SQQ’s gambling at the the IAC. Canonized his findom kink.

“My hand slipped 🙂” YQY’s sexist moment in the book imo. Makes me scream on reread. 

CQMS will always stand by you 🥹🥹🥹 (honestly any moment where LQG/YQY/the other PLs go to bat for SQQ)

“In this life I’ll give all my loyalty to you” I LOVE THIS LINE SO MUCH AND IM SO SAD MTXT CUT IT IN THE REVISION

[thegreatwitchmaddi]

Hello, Maddi.

I should hope you stay strong on the 13th tomorrow, as I expect you will. I cannot tell you everything will be alright, because I'm not a seer, am I? I'm just a bard.

Here is your song for today.

There, another one in the trash Your despair I wonder how long it's gonna last?

I think there's something wrong with me Why can't I just live happily? The thought of giving up your meat's impossible as sleep And I swear every time I breathe in, I stare in disbelief, and

I can't go without the feeling of your flesh upon my teeth I can't retreat No, I can't even breathe without feeling hungry Why do you still believe in me?

And I'm baffled why you choose to stay with me You're completely free, yet you refuse to leave In the face of anger, you say, "Patience before pride" While you're feeling dead inside, I'm so alive And it's all thanks to you that I survived Guess I'll say thank you for lending me your life

Is your song...the key?

[detective-piplup]

And I'm baffled why you choose to stay with me You're completely free, yet you refuse to leave In the face of anger, you say, "Patience before pride" While you're feeling dead inside, I'm so alive And it's all thanks to you that I survived Guess I'll say thank you for lending me your life

[somewhereapart]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for tagging me @revolutionsoftheheart! 💋

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

230

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 1,851,307

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently: SVU (EO), MCU/Marvel (Steggy), Once Upon a Time (OQ) (shut up, i'm calling it current bc I intend to continue, I've just been taking a little break....)

Over the course of my fandom life: Battlestar Galactica (Lee/Kara), Private Practice (Charlotte/Cooper), CSI:Miami (Calleigh/Eric), and if you count all the writing I did in notebooks during my teenage years Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel: The Series (Buffy/Angel, Buffy/Spike, Angel/Darla).

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Couches (SVU)

Breaking In (Once Upon a Time) (** This one would absolutely have the top spot if the OQ fandom had made the shift to Ao3 sooner. Baker's Dozen would probably be in the top 5 as well, so... honorable mention. lol)

Lip Service (SVU)

Convalescence (SVU)

Mistakes Were Made (SVU)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I used to respond to every single comment, years and years ago. Now I am terrible at responding to comments, for a number of reasons. 1) I just don't have the spoons I used to have, and oftentimes I will start out replying to all the comments and then the day will pass and the next day I maybe don't have the time/energy for it, and then I worry people will think I'm intentionally ignoring their comments, which I am very much not, so I kind of adopted an "if I can't get to everybody, I just shouldn't do anybody" mentality which is probably not the greatest and I am trying to work on... 2) I tend to keep the tab open for my latest fic/update for a day or two to see what comments roll in but then after that, I close the tab and I forget the inbox on Ao3 actually exists so I'm reliant on my email alerts to know when there's a new comment, and I don't check that email every day so sometimes it's dayssss after someone leaves a comment on a not-quite-brand-new work before I see it. And then I feel like I've accidentally left it too late? 3) I feel like I should have more to say than just replying to everyone with "Thanks!", or I feel bad when I have more to say to some reviews than that (because they ask a question, are more specific about something, etc.) but then reply to some of the others with only "Thanks!" Like I feel like the people who just get "thanks!" are gonna feel like I don't value their reviews as much as the people who get a longer response, and then they'll feel bad or like they wasted their effort reviewing and then I'll feel bad bc that is very much not the case. (See above re: "if I can't do it for everyone, I'll just do it for no one.") This is the (one and only) downside to me of the Ao3 comment reply format vs. FFNet review replies -- I LOVE that the Ao3 comments format lends itself better to conversation, but the FFnet review replies went to people's DMs so nobody knew if they got a "Thanks!" on this one and someone else got a paragraph. 4) I feel like it pads the Comment count? Like it looks like the work got double the response that it did, it feels a little like I'm cheating? So in summary, I have Comment reply anxiety, clearly lol. But I love receiving everyone's comments, and I hoard each and every one like a dragon with their treasure, and I appreciate everyone who takes the time to leave one. Maybe in 2024 I should make it a goal to reply to all of them idk...

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Mmmmm.... Hexes, maybe? I was scrolling down the OUAT fic memory lane last night and hit OQ Angst Week, that had some doozies. Maybe Sing A Song of Forgetting, that one was rough.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Baker's Dozen, probably. (Which, fun fact -- I put the OG version back up on Ao3 a few years back "temporarily" and then forgot to take it down, so if you have that and the published book version, now you can compare, I guess 😂)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not much these days, but I have a few times in the past. The one I got the most hate on is actually not on Ao3 because when I moved over my Private Practice fics from FFnet, I didn't move anything incomplete that I wasn't expecting to finish. But it was a Charlotte King fic that dealt with her fiance coming back into her life (before we actually met him on the show) while she and Cooper were broken up, and I was very clear that it was a Charlotte fic not so much a CharCoop fic, but oooooh people were mad that there was a love triangle going on and it was unclear who she was gonna end up with. LIVID. FURIOUS. That's the fic that made me turn off anon reviews for the first time bc I had someone who would just troll me with hate reviews and blow up my DMs. It was a time....

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Indeed, and pretty much... whatever's clever. lol I need more specifics on the last question.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not really, no.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes! Someone swiped a chunk of one of my EO fics and reused it like word for word (with the names changed, obvs) in their Jopper fic this summer! And someone linked me to it and I blew up their Comments section on the chapter and they deleted their entire internet presence, it was wild.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, because every time someone asks me for permission to translate one, I say no, bc I am very protective of my work. lol I don't like not being able to vet the translation and know that it comes across the way I want it to. I've talked in the past about having a friend of mine do a Spanish translation of Baker's Dozen, but she literally does translation for a living and she's so familiar with my writing and my writing process (and I'm so familiar with hers) that I can trust the end result would be what I'd want it to be. Also, in my experience, folks who want to translate my work also want to repost it somewhere themselves, and I haaaaaaate that. I'm a control freak about my work, I want it to be where I want it and have control over the managing of it at all times. (I get annoyed when people repost my work to other fic archives/collections, or have it bound in print for themselves, etc. I don't like that. What if I want to go back and change something? Just leave it where I posted it and link back to there, please and thank you!)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, but never to completion.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? It's like choosing between children, I can't.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

If Every Road Led Back Home (the aforementioned Charlotte King fic). Everything else, I am still convinced I'll finish it someday. lol (But if we were gonna be less optimistic than that, What Happens in Vegas, and L'ébauche probably)

16. What are your writing strengths?

Porn with feelings. lol Sex scenes with what I call "heightened realism" -- it's probably consistently better sex than real-world sex, but never so much that it seems implausible or too exaggerated, and I like to include little mishaps, or imperfections, or the real things that often get skipped over (hey condoms, hey lube, hey peeing after sex) because when you've been writing sexy fanfic for two decades, quite frankly it's boring when it's perfect and shiny every time. I have a Steggy fic planned for sometime this year that is basically "their sex life has one consistent and inconvenient obstacle and here's all the ways that works out (and sometimes doesn't work out) for them." I haven't flexed my angst muscles in a while, but I used to absolutely love writing stuff that wrecked people until they were yelling at me in the comments. I miss doing that.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Rampant abuse of grammar (I know I'm doing it, I just don't care), overuse of the word "just", and too many parentheticals. Also knowing when to stop. I will use 18 words when 3 would do, and I can very easily write myself into the weeds instead of staying on target and writing every scene with intent toward a goal. (Hi, Breaking In.) Also, finishing things. (Hello again, Breaking In, and every other unfinished WIP both on Ao3/FFnet and in my Google Docs graveyard.)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If it fits the fic, absolutely, but only a language I can find a native speaker to check and correct for me before I post it. I don't wanna be the one out here with the wonky Google Translate French that makes people who can actually read the language cringe.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Technically, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The first fanfic I ever published on the internet was a Spuffy fic that is now lost to the ages because it was on some fic archive that no longer exists, but I did a lot of pen-and-paper BtVS fanfic writing in middle and high school.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

I'm gonna go with Breaking In, because it's my baby. My Beast. The big guy. My Everest. And also Baker's Dozen because it's Baker's Dozen.

tagging in a no-pressure way (and sorry for any double tags): @goodthingscomeinthrees @behindthelabels @rahleeyah @roboticonography @doctorhelena @lyricalviolet @audreysl0ve @ninzied @somuchwhatever and anyone else who wants to do it!

[agapintheskin]

as someone who has troubles finding irl friends due to autism, fear, awkwardness, very little time and energy etc, having some sort of online community is essential for me to form friendships or at least likeminded people. People to talk to whether that's on a very superficial (fandom) level or then moves on to more personal things.

irl I've had some very good friends that I'd still consider ppl I love but I still have issues finding time and energy to meet them and essentially what happens is that you lose some connection over time, whether you like it or not, there will be things in your and their life that you might try and catch up on once you meet again but it will still feel like there's distance growing bigger and bigger. And I've also had plenty of friends, especially friends within larger friend groups, that ive lost due to fights, lack of shared interests, just growing apart.

In general, irl friends have never been close enough or stable enough to really trust them with deep shit or physical closeness. And for many reasons I've lost trust and got more anxious in getting close to people for fear of abandonment and, well autistic social reasons I guess.

On the internet it's very linked to my hyperfixations, lose it and the friends and acquaintances will most likely move on as well. Each time I find people that I legitimately have love for even if I will most likely never meet them, maybe sometimes because of it. I guess the physical distance tho sometimes lends itself to a different sort of closeness tho, more daring in what you open yourself up to.

At the end of the day I know rationally that those people I now, at this moment in time, found for myself, will not stay in my life for long, or at least not forever. And as an overthinker I'm already thinking of losing them, it's seriously annoying lmao. Like it's almost mean how I just know I'll have to say goodbye to them at some point while I'm actively having a great time.

All this to say, there has been people in my life, even recently, that told me they consider me their best friend and I have such difficulty to respond to that. It's not that it's not probably a mutual feeling (i don't know, what is a best friend?) but there's also expectations and fears connected to that for me. The loss would be bigger, the disappointment in me not being what they thought me to be would be bigger. It's so hard to explain. I just know that very few people so far have stuck with me, I don't have the strength to invest in friendships, i barely have the strength to invest in myself, and I know the people who consider me a friend, a best friend even, deserve to have someone that can't just make them laugh a lot but someone who can also be there for them when they're in trouble. And I'm so preoccupied with my own struggles that I can barely handle those situations.

I'm just a very selfish friend unfortunately. Idk what this is I just felt like writing this down, feel free to ignore, thank you if you read tho.

[leffee]

Day 7: Nostalgia

"Vinnie?”

“Yeah?”

“How come you never wear turtlenecks?”

Vinnie frowned and turned to look at Sunil, his fingers’ movement stilling on the controller. 

“I dunno.” He shrugged, “Why? Seems really random.”

“Well, I just think a turtleneck fits your style.” Sunil gestured at Vinnie, focusing on the oversized hoodie he was wearing. “You like baggy, comfortable clothes, right? Yet I just realized I have never seen you in a turtleneck.”

“I guess, I'd say when it comes to that, I'm more of a hoodies’ guy than a sweaters’ one. ‘Sides, I don't wanna be called your copycat.” He nudged Sunil and then cursed when he realized that when he wasn't looking his character in the game had died. “Damn it.”

“Heh, don't worry, my friend, I wouldn't think you're copying me, it's just a piece of clothing. Even if you were, you know what they say, copying is the highest form of flattery.” Sunil nudged Vinnie back who grinned.

“I guess there might be something to it.”

A while passed with the conversation seemingly forgotten. Both friends were once again immersed in the fictional world on the screen, sounds of buttons being pressed filled the room with an occasional choice word escaping their lips.

“Would you like to try one on?” Sunil’s voice cut through the air.

“You mean a turtleneck?” Vinnie asked curiously.

“Exactly. I do have plenty of them in my closet, I could lend you one while you're here.”

“Sure, why not?” Vinnie shrugged, biting his cheek from the inside. “Since you're offering. Maybe I'll even end up swaying towards wearing turtlenecks on a daily basis.”

“That's what I'm trying to do,” Sunil joked and paused the game. “I will be back in a second.”

“I'll bring some snacks from the kitchen.” With one last nod Sunil disappeared from the room, leaving Vinnie to get up, crack his knuckles, and head to the kitchen.

He began rummaging through the drawers and cupboards gathering a few snacks: a bag of chips, salted peanuts, and a bottle of soda. 

“These should do.”

He returned to the living room and made himself comfortable on the couch again. He reached to open the bag of peanuts, but his wrist was stopped by a hand.

“Maybe put this on first.” Sunil carefully threw a turtleneck on Vinnie's lap. “I'd rather it stayed clean.”

“Alrighty, if that's what you want.” Vinnie put the bag aside and looked down, running his hand on the material. It was just a simple black turtleneck, but it felt fuzzy and soft under his fingers.

“I just really think you will- wait, wait, you don't have to…” But the other already took off his hoodie where he sat. “Or you can just do that.”

Vinnie simply offered a fake apologetic smile and having put his hoodie aside began putting on the borrowed piece of attire. Arms were easy enough but then he had to worm his head through the narrow hole on top. Eventually though, he was all done.

“So, what do you think?”

“Feels good so far,” Vinnie said, absent-mindedly adjusting the collar. “How do I look?” He turned more towards his friend and struck an over dramatic pose.

“...Like a child who scoured through their dad’s closet actually,” Sunil deadpanned once he really took in the sight in front of him. “This is much too big on you.” He smiled softly and tugged at the edge of the turtleneck.

“Wh- that’s not what I meant!” Vinnie whined and puffed out his cheeks.

“I know,” Sunil assured quickly, “I couldn’t stop myself; I apologize. Aside from that, you look good in it, it fits you in a way.”

“Really?” Vinnie perked up, still adjusting his collar, and once Sunil nodded at him, he thanked his friend.

“You can feel free to wear it for now, just remember to give it back when you’ll be going out.”

“Got it, Sunster.”

“Now, show me which snacks you brought us.”

With that, they returned to their previous activity, albeit now with snacks unpacked on the table in front of the couch, the image on the screen coming back to life.

However… something was wrong. Vinnie couldn’t quite pinpoint it, but instead of focusing on the moment each time he tried, he was distracted, his mind returning to focusing on that damn collar. Likewise, one of his hands kept going back to it, grabbing, and readjusting it multiple times a minute it seemed.

It was probably just caused by not being used to wearing something like that, Vinnie told himself. But it felt… too tight, too limiting. He pushed in two of his fingers between the collar and his neck. There was definitely space between them, and yet as soon as he retracted his fingers the fabric seemed to cling to his skin.

“Ugh,” He grunted quietly and turned his head from side to side, but it didn’t accomplish anything. He huffed and took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment and reaching out to grab a handful of chips. And then another one. And one more. Then some nuts. Then a large sip of soda.

But with each gulp that damn turtleneck seemed to close in on him. Larger sip. 

“Hey, not so fast, leave some for me,” Sunil said with a mix of joking as well as seriousness in his tone.

“Right, sorry,” Vinnie replied breathlessly, not turning to gaze at the other.

The ticking of the clock was too loud, grating on his nerves. His vision became blurry, it was getting harder and harder to control the character on the screen. The pressure around his neck was there once more. He tried to draw a breath into his lungs, but his effort turned into a shallow whistle instead. What was… happening? He attempted to breath in through his nose, his fingers clenching on the controller, tiniest beads of sweat appearing on his temples. 

He tried to catch another breath.

And another one.

The pressure grew.

And grew.

Everything became blurrier.

His throat seemed to reject all air, feeling too tight to be even capable of taking it. Too tight. Too tight. 

“I swear, Vincent, you’re such a disappointment. To think I had such big plans for you… what did I give birth to you for?!”

A hit. A flash

“Vinnie…?” Sunil eyed the turtleneck that was now on the floor and next at his friend whose now bare chest was expanding and contracting too many times a minute.

“Sorry, for um, throwing your thing there to the floor,” Vinnie choked out. “I don’t-I don’t think turtlenecks are for me.”

“Why?” Sunil observed his friend closely as he put on his previous attire. “You look really pale, paler than normal.”

“I dunno, felt kinda too tight. Here,” He scrambled for the turtleneck and gave it back to Sunil, “I’ll stick to my usual stuff.”

His friend gave him an intense look once more, causing Vinnie to look away. His mind still felt swimmy, but at least he could breathe again.

“Let’s just continue playing, yeah? Or we will never get past this level.” 

Sunil didn’t reply, instead looking back at the screen that seemed to mock him with the displayed text - defeat.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

🧍

Yet another one of those fics jumpscare. I told myself that since this is a daily thing those fics/drabbles would be approximately 500 words each but they just keep getting longer and longer.

[bees-draws]

Your delicious body heat It's so warm inside of me It's too bad you don't have more meat on your tiny body

While you're feeling dead inside, I'm so alive And it's all thanks to you that I survived Guess I'll say thank you for lending me your life

[creativefandomminds]

She huffed and puffed, feeling her hot angry breath as she feel the tears coming out. But she tried to stop them, she wasn't going to cry, no, she's not a crybaby... Alice shook her head as she tried to breathe as she continued walking.

How could her friends do this to her... saying she needs time away from Chaotic... why? She was fine... she wasn't... she was fine... She doesn't understand why... the M'arrillians evasion ended.. everything is okay...everything is fine!! Things can go back to the way they were... right?

She huffed as she turned, only to realize... 'W-where am I?' She looked around, she didn't realized how far she was from her friends...

Alice searched around as she walked slowly, as she walked, she noticed the strange plant life around her, huh, they look familiar, she thought. She made her way through the place, avoiding the flowing bubbles around her. 

She looked to her scanner and thought... 'Maybe I should message them... they'll probably find me.. in this..place' The silence was haunting as she shivered in fear. She didn't like it...

Alice moved quickly while texting, her heart was beating fast, 'Calm down..calm down...calm down..Calm down- Ahhh!' She slipped as she gasped, half screaming as she didn't see the edge of a cliff. She thought she was going to fall but, something...grabbed her shirt and hold her...

She blinked as she felt being pulled back up and onto the safety of the ground, away from the edge. She was on her knees as she breathe slowly, "I-I, thank you... you guys, look, I was going to text you and I didn't see the cliff-" Alice spoke as she looked to see what she thought were her friends but her eyes widened, it wasn't them... no, it was someone worse...

A large creature with a strange body with a mysterious substance that glows, he wore ancient armor and his eyes shined as he looked at her. 

No one moved as Alice shivered, "R-Rath'tab..W-What are you doing here?" "I saw you coming here.. you look lost."

"I-I'm not lost and I'm just going to go and-" Alice said as she tried to leave but Rath'tab stopped her from leaving, eyes watching her. 

"S-Stay away from me, you'll be trouble if any of the creatures find you, you know what happened last time." Rath'tab chuckled softly, "Oh Alice...I'm not going to hurt you... you don't look well."

Alice shook her head as she tried to be brave, "No I'm fine... you don't know what you are talking about.." "You look hurted." "I'm not- I'm not..."

She turned her head away from him, "What do you know, you don't know me.." she was going to say something but felt something on her hair, she looked to see a flower placed on her, a purple hibiscus, her eyes widened. She looked to see Rath-tab's hands on her as she felt them on her cheeks, and then she felt a bit of her tears come out...

"It's okay Alice... Oh Alice, it's alright, I don't have to read your thoughts to know your sadness..." "Y-You can't read my mind?" Rath'tab shook his head, "No.. so you don't have to worry my dear.."

Alice's breathing slowed down, Rath'tab continued, "You don't have to worry about anything Alice... things are different now..." He smiled softly, "I can show you.."

"I-I don't know, my friends.." "Don't worry my dear... they won't mind, and you'll be back to them soon, they can wait." Rath'tab let go of her cheeks as he floated to her side as he lend a hand to her, "Come with me into the Coral." 

Alice hesitated, her friends, they may be worried, but she remembered their words, she frowned as she turned to Rath'tab as she took his hand. "Yeah, it's fine..." Rath'tab smiled as he led her away from the Coral garden as he took her farther away from a group of friends that were nearby, looking for their lost friend....

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Man, the plot thickens in this Chaotic AU lore heheh ;3

Rath'tab is a big favorite of mine when it comes to creatures, probably the best M'arrillian I have seen, he's a mystery and I wish there was more lore about him. But I guess I'll be the one to do it. :3

There will be more stories with these two, that I can promise you that. And I hope you guys are ready for the angst to come. ;3

I hope you guys like it and the short story, this was one of my favorite pieces I have drawn and I'm really happy with the final results. X3

Enjoy!! <3

Art, Alice @ Mine Chaotic, Rath'tab @ Merlin P. Mann & Martin Rauff