#guard point

[every-chopper]

[emleelion]

HE'S SO ROUND AND SO FLUFFY!

Got a great pick of our secret friend (secret santa in the summer) at camp. I got my costaff chopper which meant I had an excuse to make super cute tony chopper stuff! I got really into pompoms this year since I had a bunch of wool but didnt bring my punch needle supplies for it.

Chopper's guard point is the perfect thing to make a pompom out of!

[humanityinahandbag]

Steve would absolutely be down to play D&D with Hellfire. The only condition is that he gets to be whatever character he wants (with Eddie's help crafting the sheet, of course), and Eddie is so completely enamoured and excited that he agrees wholeheartedly.

Turns out, Steve didn't really understand the concept of fantasy characters and assumed that it included all kinds of fantasies. Elves, Dwarves, Mages.

And naturally the lineup of Steve's 1987 Fantasy Basketball League.

The rest of Hellfire is ultimately accepting of it, and even gets into the character as time goes on. But those first few sessions were confusing as hell. Especially because they weren't quite sure what to think when Steve's only supplies and weapons included sports bars, tiny shorts, and a basketball.

Eddie though?

Eddie's been having a goddamn field day with the chaos his beloved hath wrought.

"Alright Steve. Roll to attack."

Steve rolls and lights up. "Eighteen!"

The other players cheer.

"Good luck," said Will sullenly after his magic missile failed to take the villain down. In fact, so far, nearly every attack from each member had failed to do enough damage to even make a dent.

Eddie writes down a note behind his DM shield. "Alright so the ghost approaches you. What are you..." He pauses. "Wait. Sorry what's your name again?"

"Larry Bird," says Steve helpfully.

"Right. What are you, Larry Bird, going to do to the Ghost?"

"I'm going to dribble across the enchanted bridge and hit him with a hook shot."

"This is the weirdest thing we've ever done..." Dustin whispers.

He's shushed by everyone else who has become absolutely invested in the fate of their resident Point Guard Paladin.

(the best part is that the end of the campaign in what was meant to be a difficult and long battle, in which almost every single Hellfire character dies a gruesome death, Steve effectively ends it by rolling a single D20 and dunking a zombie's head into the Boss' face.

Hellfire is elated but isn't sure how to explain to future Hellfire members that a kill shot was once carried out by the small forward of the Boston Celtics.)

[sunanthrope]

I wear a dog collar to school. Yes, every day. Yes, it's obviously a DOG collar, it has a tag and spikes. Do I get stares? Yeah. People don't really say anything to me about it, and if they do, they're- like- freshmen. i don't care about the opinions of 12-14 year old boys. the only thing i really do get for my collar is people either being passive-aggressive (two can play at that game), or i get people complimenting me on it. nobody has ever threatened me over it.

I don't wear a tail to school. i used to. i've had people take pictures of me, threaten to jump me, yell slurs at me, follow me home... so i stopped.

I didn't stop wearing a tail because I'm ashamed of who I am. i stopped wearing a tail to protect myself and people around me, my FRIENDS. because no amount of showing off and being proud is worth getting hurt over, or getting other people hurt over.

be open when it's safe to be open. your personal expression is not worth putting yourself into danger. You can't be out and proud if you're dead.

[galaghiel]

—Evan already forgave you. He loves you.

<prev

[mearchy]

Fox's reports are the most sardonic, passive aggressive reports anyone in the Senate Security Office has ever read. But they have to accept them because they are all technically by-the-book correct and unnervingly thorough, and nobody can find fault with them as hard as they try. The less caf he has had, the worse it is. He goes from "As per Coruscant Guard records..." and "As all Senate employees are aware..."

to "As one might be able to assume by means of basic observation and an approximately swamp-rat level of intelligence-" and "To elaborate on that, as one is required by Report Administration Regulation Clause 365:1a to do, despite a statistically proven decline in reading comprehension among government employees-*"

My man is hitting the keys one by one so hard his keypad breaks. He's got reflexive tears of manic rage in his eyes. He's imbuing his incident reports with so much hysteria the next Jedi who comes into contact with them gets a headache. Free him

*he has a source for this, by the way. Fox includes citations in his reports like a maniac. Like Cody. This is because if he has to countenance one more follow-up email than is necessary he will brain himself against the desk. He will commit lobotomy by pencil. Just you try and fucking stop him, Thorn.

[cuntylouis]

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE | Louis' various half-smiles, hidden smiles, and forced smiles for his partners

[motherofoompaloompas]

Even more memes that have been sent to the Corrie group chat Pt 5

Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 3, Pt 4

[the-lady-general]

I choose to believe that the Ultramarines just outright stole Titus from the Deathwatch. Just reported "yep, all kill team members dead, what a bummer, definitely nothing to see here, here's all fivefour corpses we've recovered". Space Marine 3 opens with a pissed off Inquisitor, covered in blood, sweat and ichor, kicking down Titus' doors, going "BAA BAA BLACK SHIELD HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW MANY CHAPTERS I'VE HAD TO CHECK FOR YOU!!!"

[wittebanged]

Belos getting a penstagram account is a funny concept I’ve been thinking abt idk

[every-chopper]

[rooksunday]

okay i love corrie whump but please consider this:

the corries arrive on coruscant. their training at kamino was, shall we say, maladjusted, and then they are treat like shit by the natborns. however, unlike the GAR and their jedi and the wider galaxy, the corries have… no other example of how natborn society works.

so it must work like this, right?

i mean why else would the senators be like that.

so the corries start their casual blackmail, bullying, larceny, murder not out of revenge but just because That Is How Society Works

and after a little while maybe they accidentally have a burgeoning criminal empire, several senators in their pockets, a cordoned-off territory in the midlevel, and they’re working on expansion ever upwards

the corries have no idea that there’s a sith in the senate. there’s an arsehole or twenty but that’s okay, thorn has something on most of the aides and stone is collecting protection from the others. it’s all under control.

cody: i’ve heard your explanation

cody: i have a few more questions

bly, ferreting through the neglected datapads on fox’s desk: did you ever do any of this padwork?

fox: what are they gonna do, fire me?

bly: i want to be you when i grow up

[materassassino]

Thank you to @marsidotcom for bringing this t-shirt to my attention. I had to make this immediately.

Andy you old grump.

[pincushionx]

Been drawing to much cute stuff, here’s some Hunter execution trauma

Been thinking of writing something that relates to the hexsquad and other characters (Darius, Lilith, Eda, Camila, ect) finding out what being Golden Guard actually meant. In the show, Hunter is pretty isolated as the Golden guard, primarily acting out independently in missions and even then those missions were decently brutal. (Slaying a selkidomous and kidnapping palismen for slaughter). So it figures no one actually really knew what he did. So they question, and he answers.

It’s tough hearing someone you know as a victim also victimizing others. How many owners of palismen did he leave heartbroken? Any children he orphaned? Witches and demons left without their partners? Had sigils forced upon? Made into statues because of him?

I think of the Golden Guard being an icon to the boiling isles , someone who’s known widely yet no one quite knew what he actually did since it was stuff to carry out Belos dirty work.

[izzystizzys]

TW: discussion of something approximating suicidal tendencies but with the usual crack programming of this blog

“Ah, High General Windu”, says Fox, pleasantly. “So we meet again.”

High General Windu raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him, Fox thinks, though it’s getting hard to tell with all the blood rushing to his head. “If I let you go, will you try to throw yourself out of another window?”

Fox makes a vague shrugging motion - or tries to, anyways. It’s hard to tell where any of his limbs are going, hanging upside down in the air as he is. “I am willing to discuss terms.” A bridge will do just fine.

Impossibly, the High General’s eyebrows climb even further up his forehead. “A compromise, then, esteemed Commander.” And so, he righths Fox the head way up in the air, but leaves him floating just above the ground, at which point several painted shells come skidding around the corner followed by billowing robes and screeches.

“WHAT”, says Kote, calmly, “THE BANTHA-KARKED, FORCE-LOVING KRIFF, FOX.”

“You’ll short out your helmet mic”, Fox advises him, sagely. Fondly, he thinks back to decimating his own on only his second time in the newly-christened official Coruscant Guard Scream Closet. He’d just received the comm about the Zillo Beast being transported to 000, and made sure to take his bucket off thereafter to improve the quality of his closet time.

High General Windu’s face does something complicated between sympathy and constipation.

Because the Galaxy doesn’t hate Fox enough already and Cody wasn’t enough on his own, Wolffe elbows his way through their batch to plant himself in front of him, shoulders squared and shaking with repressed rage. “If you try that again, dickhead”, he begins, in a low growl that quite frankly sounds more cringe that intimidating, “I’m going to resurrect you and then kill you again.”

“Ah, Wolffe”, Plo Koon says, in his deep, shivery timbre, “Remember our conversations about effective conflict resolution and communication of needs?”

Wolffe’s eyes narrow at Fox, because all non-Guard are sweet summer children who walk around buckets off on 000 like absolute lunatics. Fox prays they never have to find out why that’s a bad idea. “I feel”, his ori’vod presses out between clenched teeth, “that if you make me watch you throw yourself out of another window, I’m going to jump after you and strangle you on the way down, you little bitch.”

“That’s fair”, says Fox, and watches High General Kenobi bury his face in his hands. Wolffe twitches in place and makes an aborted groaning noise, the hypocrite.

“Excuse me, High Marshall Commander Fox, but I fail to see what’s so dire about this situation that the Jedi High Council and your brothers cannot help you solve”, says Windu, the only sane one left on this Force-forsaken bloated corpse of a planet. Behind the gaggle of Jedi and ori’vode already gathered in front of Fox, the rest of them come veering around the corner in a commotion that’s quite frankly embarrassing. High General Yoda is mounted on Skywalker’s back like he’s a race-Eopie, which is Fox’ only consolation.

He got up this morning at 0300, bleary-eyed and with a pounding headache as always, and all was right in the world. And then Fox got called into the Jedi High Council’s chambers and was ceremoniously informed that in the wake of Chancellor Palpatine’s unfortunate demise (hah), and through the emergency state of the Senate, as well as several invented promotions foisted on Fox to make the delegation of any and all paperwork less shady, he was now next in the chain of command and-

Well, Fox is the acting Chancellor, in short.

Haha, he had said, and been meet with several seconds of silence, until it got both awkward and exceedingly painful. Wait, he’d said. You’re kriffing serious.

Kriffing serious, we are, had said High General Yoda, and thus Fox launched himself out the first best window with a maniacal cackle of, you’ll have to catch me first!

And catch him, High General Windu sure did.

“The will of the Force this is”, Yoda interrupts Fox’ train of thought. He scans him thoughtfully from beneath his wizened brow, and hems to himself. “Shake things up, this will. Determine the fate of the Galaxy, this shall. A feeling, I have, that a good Chancellor you will make. A better one, hmmm.”

“That’d be high praise, if not for the fact that a dead lemming would make for a better Chancellor than the last one”, says Fox, drawing and indignant gasp from Skywalker. He doesn’t bother with either that or the green goblin’s cackle, lost in the deep sense of resignation that settles over his shoulders like a suffocating blanket.

“Alright, then, get me Thorn on the comm. As my first act in office, I’m firing all the Jedi. No offense, but you’re kind of a disaster. Then, someone get me to the Chancellor’s office, I’m calling Dooku to let him know the war’s off. And please get me Judicial, they’ll be up all night working on my datafolders - I’m having the Senate arrested.”

“Who - is - arresting - “, Bly pants, hands on his knees from where he’s just come sprinting around the corner with his Jedi.

Underneath his bucket, Fox smiles a smile that’s all teeth. “The Senate”, he says, sweetly, wondering if he’s just imagined the shiver that’s gone through the room. “I’m suing the Senate, and taking them all into temporary custody for abuse of sentient rights.”

[luminarai]

dog owners vs cat owners: the immortal gay edition