#grunge iggy pop

[jarofalicesgrunge]

Layne Staley

[yuritestikov]

⚡💔 Frank Kozik💔⚡

[vaporlocke81]

Some grungy fruitiger metro stuff I did back in the day (early - late 2000s [under my old screen name]) on deviantart.

[planetwaving]

my dad's bookshelf :)

[queencorduroy]

Iggy Pop, Kurt & Krist | 1991

© Suze Dodd

[t3rritorial-piss1ngs]

Go listen y’all😠😠

[thisnoise]

Feed my eyes, can you sew them shut?

[idontcareimdazed]

I’ve been dirt And I don’t care

[dead-as-i-tread]

Iggy Pop, Kurt and Krist

[futurecorps3]

hello! could i please request James Potter x Goth!Reader? She would be a hufflepuff, maybe he saw her once at the hallway defending some younger kids from some bullies and it was love at first sight uwu

��𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐏𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐆𝐨𝐭𝐡!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Masterlist<3

Yay, this is so cute!! I wouldn't define my style as goth but it is more on the punk/grunge, so I hope I get this right. Thanks for requesting, nonnie! x

♡ Baby boy is so :(

♡ He holds no stereotypes or at the very least tries his best not to

♡ So, when he sees you defending a Gryffindor boy -surely a first year- from a group of Ravenclaws, it's safe to say he was head over heels.

♡ "Hey I-I just wanted to say that was very kind of you" all light voices trying to be masked by an overly confident body language because you're so tall in those boots holy shit you're intimidating

♡ You are until you flash a dazzling smile to him

♡ "It's the least I could do; poor kid was terrified of them. If only he knew we're all very scared of everything most of the time..." you wondered, walking to the covered bridge with your long, black leather coat floating almost divinely behind you

♡ "I-I'm James!" he shouts, hand in his fluffy hair as he stared at you go before turning around briefly and shouting back "I know!" with a giggle

♡ He was aghast, knowing he hadn't seen you before in all his years here. How could he miss you!?

♡ While you didn't share any classes, he made sure to take an extra look at the Hufflepuff table during lunch and found you there, giggling with your friends

♡ "James, eat up" Remus mumbled with a full mouth "He's in love, Moony. Let him enjoy the fleeting moments of joy that come with the sight of his belo-" "Shut up Sirius, I can't hear her"

♡ Not long after, he saw you in the steps for Hufflepuff during a Quidditch match. In a swift motion, he flew on his broom over to you

♡ "James!" you smiled. You were wearing a dress vest, a long raincoat and dress pants all in black, along with silver accessories "I'd say your name in the same excited tone but I don't have the pleasure of knowing it"

♡ He was such a charmer, couldn't help but blush a bit 🤭

♡ "It's Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N"

♡ My man felt butterflies, fireworks and his heart skipped a beat! It felt nice to say your name, a good feeling in his tongue that he couldn't get rid of

♡ Y/N, Y/N, Y/N

♡ He took a big deep breath and turned the slut on

♡ "You're on the wrong side of the stadium, darlin'. Should be on Gryffindor's side! Let me take you there" he said, offering his hand out, so you hopped on his broom

♡ You declined kindly, saying your friend was playing for the first time today and you couldn't leave.

♡ James feigned offence and winked before flying off with his signature smirk

♡ Two weeks later, at the match against Slytherin, he spotted a familiar face in the crowd while he stretched and played his best

♡ After that, you never really left his side

♡ You seemed to be everywhere! He found you in the library, during parties, on Hogsmeade and even in the hallways

♡ This turned you into something, making him ask you for a date eventually. A date you said yes to.

♡ Now to the dating part <3

♡ HE BUYS YOU GOTH SHIT HE KNOWS YOU'LL LIKE

♡ "Look! It's a silver cross!", "Baby I got this corset for you, they only had this tone of red though...", "I got your eyeliner refill... yes I know you still have some but it'll run out EVENTUALLY... love you too, dove”

♡ He borrows your crop tops ughhhh!!!

♡ Baby is so supportive!! Ofc you don’t care much about what people say about your style but if you ever have second guesses he makes sure to reassure you

♡ YOU BLESSED THIS WORLD WITH THE SIGHT OF JAMES POTTER WITH EYELINER

♡ He loves Siouxie and the Banshees bro, he’ll be forever grateful to you for showing him her cover of Passenger, originally by Iggy Pop

♡ Y’all go record shopping to the city <3

♡ “James, baby, I adore you but if Daniel Ash asked me out…”

♡ He gave you the silent treatment for like thirty minutes, caving when you pretended to be truly hurt

♡ James is a SUCKER for seeing you get ready

♡ Wether you wear huge eyeliner with intricate designs or just take a lot of time accessorizing, he’s there to admire and help in what he can!!

♡ Therefore, loves going shopping with you

♡ He incorporated some of your underground music knowledge to one up Sirius during muggle music discussions

♡ “Queen is great but have you heard Sisters of Mercy?” “James there’s not a point of comparison what the fuck are you talking abou-“

♡ Worships the ground you walk on pretty much

♡ You get many stares with different meanings when you walk through the school but the only one you care about is James’ lovesick gaze checking you out from one of the classroom’s doors

♡ “You’re so hot” he’d groan when you finally reach his arms before kissing you UGH SOMEONE BRING HIM TO ME NOW!!!

♡ Just imagining his linebacker figure, dressed in his jersey and being the sunshine he is next to you which are pretty much the opposite at first sight makes my heart all warm!!!!!!

♡ To end this, a random little hc I developed just now

♡ If you tend to be very all over the place and distracted like me, rest assured that James Potter knows where all your shit is

♡ “Love, have you seen my boots? The one’s with a bunch of buckles on them, can’t fin-“ “Bottom of the bed” …. “Jamie! Where’s my chain?” “Bats or coffin?” “Bats” “Top left drawer under your black shirt with the tiny holes on it”

♡ Sweet angel boy loves his goth girl!!

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Marauders taglist (DM or answer to be added): @kquil

[stxr-bxy]

alternative marauders headcanons

james

somewhat alt, more of a rock person but definitely appreciates alt culture. favorite artists are fleetwood mac, melanie safka, jaco pastorious, the smashing pumpkins, and heart.

sirius

punk rock badass. his favorite bands are bad brains, death, black flag, bad religion, and sleater-kinney. he likes the sex pistols too. but has an appreciation for lots of music. he likes david bowie, sisters of mercy, and deftones.

remus

prefers rock but also enjoys punk. favorite artists are david bowie, the strokes, october country, pink floyd, and iggy pop. considers himself punk-ish because he listens to the music and agrees with the ideology. the proof that you don’t have to dress punk to be punk.

peter

grunge rock stan. favorite artists are nirvana, soundgarden, mudhoney, red hot chili peppers, and stone temple pilots. dresses like he’s homeless (which is basically how i dress) but makes it look cool with diy and studs and spikes.

lily

loves almost all music. favorite artists are radiohead, evanescence (idk why i just think she’d like them), bratmobile, pixies, and x ray spex. she dresses kinderwhore-ish grunge and loves dressing feminine and distressed (idk how to describe it). adores the punk subculture and loves when baby punks come to her shows.

marlene

the ultimate riot grrrl. dislikes the movement from the 90s bc it wasn’t super intersectional and excluded queer/trans women and poc but recognizes that it did help some women and should come back with some improvements. favorite artists are bikini kill, hole (but doesn’t support courtney love), bratmobile, emily’s sassy lime, and L7

mary

somewhat alternative but definitely a badass. favorite artists are abba, fiona apple, björk, kate bush, the bangles, and blondie. she likes anything raw and emotional with meaningful lyrics. loves to analyze songs and find out the symbolisms behind them. in her opinion music doesn’t need to sound good to be good, she cares more about the meaning.

emmeline

loves female artists and queer punk. favorite artists are mommy long legs, kittie, pinkshift, cheap perfume, and baby guts. loves subversing gender roles in music and fashion so she sometimes dresses masc and incorporates those themes in her music. proof that someone can be both a sweetheart and a total badass at the same time.

emma

loves all music. literally everything. favorite artists are coven, the slits, mitski, garbage, and limp bizkit. her style changes all the time but she loves hippie and indie styles. her favorite song is california dreaming by the mamas and the papas. loves lighting incense and going for walks. somewhat alt but more of a mellow subversive alt instead of an in-your-face-let’s-tear-it-all-down angle.

regulus

goth and punk. favorite artists are joy division, alien sex fiend, the muslims, and the clash. doesn’t dress very punk but dresses in a more casual goth style. only goes all out for shows and concerts he goes to. most of his wardrobe is black so he can never find specific clothing items.

pandora

faerie goth and hippie-ish. loves ethereal wave and cold wave music but also likes other stuff. favorite artists are molchat doma, cocteau twins, nine inch nails, and siouxsie and the banshees. dresses in a hippie-ish fairycore style and never dresses casual unless she’s at home. definitely shaved or bleached her eyebrows at one point.

barty

punk punk punk punk. the punkiest mf you’ve ever seen in your life. he exclusively wears leather jackets and crust pants. favorite bands are dead kennedys, rage against the machine, pure hell, the runaways, and pansy division.

evan

barty’s badass boyfriend. listens to almost all music. his favorite artists are eminem, the neighborhood, kiss, and joan jett and the blackhearts. somewhat alt, fashion is whatever he can afford and thinks is cool. gets a new piercing or dyes his hair as a coping mechanism.

dorcas

punk rock princess. favorite bands are pure hell, gina young, vulpes, bad brains, and mannequin p*ssy. they love poly styrene (x ray spex) and really look up to her because she was a very influential black woman in punk music. always had headphones on and is blasting “germfree adolescents” at all times. also loves kat bjelland (babes in toyland) and ari up (the slits)

[boomclowntown]

Havik Head canons from someone who hasn't played MK1 yet.

When Havik gives kisses, he's just nipping whatever part of your face he's *kissing* with this teeth.

Prefers an autumn color pallet, takes a lot of comfort in warm tones.

Prefers silvers, learned it's a metal that tends to represent working and lower class citizens on earth and liked that symbolism.

Trophies luxuries he's found from the oppressors he's killed/conquered, sometimes gifts those same luxuries to his own people after modifying them, so that they aren't caught with those goods and falsely accused.

He approached the concept of Anarchy and non-hierarchical governments with sincerity at some point but became desperate as his protests continuously failed under Seido's oppression and ruthless militaristic responses to it. At the expense of many protestors lives and his own experiences, any concept of government began to prove untrustworthy.

Some of the reason he clings to chaos has more to do with being berated by the oppressors, trying to incite division within his protest by falsely titling him as a zealot. Havik became disillusioned with his effort to persevere over the oppressors cruelty, and just decided to become the thing he was always painted to be in the media. Leaning into chaos as a method of combat incited the fear in his oppressor that he needed to make them buckle and made his protest methods ruthlessly unpredictable. it very quickly became more difficult for Seido's Leaders to take advantage of what arguable few followers he has left because of this change, Seido's Leaders could no longer bank on Havik's empathy for his own people or whatever sympathy he had for those unknowingly benefitting from the oppressive system...

Johnny tried to be buddies with Havik at some point and sent him an earth realm, punk playlist on cassette w/ a walkman. Granted, as a celebrity, Johnny only really understands punk at a surface level, so the punk rock he sends Havik tends to be old school and quite popular, with titles like Iggy pop, stooges and rancid. One could even say some artists he shared weren't technically punk, regardless, Havik loves listening to it. Johnny chose to send Havik a cassette player for aesthetic reasons, but also bc he's introducing outworld Kombatants to earth realm technology in little bits at a time.

Havik has broken, picked at, ripped and shredded pieces of himself off and re-healed it over again to get certain scars to look more aesthetically pleasing to himself. He sees his self mutilation as a form of expression, in the same way some one might dye their hair or pierce their nose.

Loves grunge punk and denim jeans.

He breaks his bones at the joints alot trying to crack them bc he always has the feeling of needing to crack his joints but they just won't.

Breath smells bad bc he doesn't brush his tongue when he cleans his teeth. Also just heals his cavities.

Prefers candle light and sunlight to overheads.

[singeratlarge]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Scott McKenzie, the singer-songwriter best known for his association with John Phillips and the 1967 Summer of Love anthem “San Francisco (Be Sure to Wear Flowers in Your Hair),” the sonic tract that called 1000s of young people to California.

 

Phillips (who played on the track with The Wrecking Crew) wrote the song to appease authorities concerned that hippies would overrun the Bay Area for the Monterey Pop Festival. Peace and love prevailed. The song has been used in several films and was a theme for the Prague Spring Czech uprising in 1968. That same year, McKenzie’s next Top 40 hit “Like an Old Time Movie” (also written and played by Phillips) segued with McKenzie writing “What About Me” for Anne Murray (her first hit single).

 

Like many artists circa 1960, McKenzie morphed out of doo-wop and became a folkie, joining the New York folk scene that beget The Mamas & The Papas. Phillips initially invited McKenzie to join that group but he declined, saying he didn’t want “the pressure.” Years later McKenzie joined a road version of The Mamas & The Papas in 1986. Concurrently, the Phillips-McKenzie team joined Mike Love and Terry Melcher to create the huge Beach Boys hit “Kokomo.”

 

The evergreen “San Francisco” remains McKenzie’s best-known work (he passed from Guillain-Barre syndrome in 2010). Periodically I dabbled with the song, dirty demo-ing a grunge-y Iggy Pop-like update: https://johnnyjblairsingeratlarge.bandcamp.com/track/san-francisco-be-sure-to-wear-flowers-in-your-hair-demo-remastered-2020

 

HB and RIP Scott.

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the 1964 Vee-Jay LP INTRODUCING THE BEATLES, Pat Benatar, Ray Bolger, Frances X. Bushman, Eddy Clearwater, Jemaine Clement, Shawn Colvin, the 1972 UK LP issue of CONCERT FOR BANGLADESH, Jim Croce, drum heroes Aynsley Dunbar and Max Roach, Donald Fagen, the musical FINIAN’S RAINBOW (1947), George Foreman, the 1928 Gershwin-Romberg-Wodehouse musical ROSALIE, Byron “Whild Child” Gipson, Teresa Graves, Ronnie Hawkins, Paul Henreid, sculptress Barbara Hepworth, Mary Ingalls, Frank James, Brian Joo, King Crimson’s 1971 US album release of LIZARD, Bob Lang (The Mindbenders), Don Letts (Big Audio Dynamite), Jerry Lee Lewis’s 1958 UK single “Great Balls of Fire,” Linda Lovelace, Mendelssohn’s 1833 cantata  "Die erste Walpurgisnacht," the 1927 film METROPOLIS, Sal Mineo, St. Philomena, Fayette Pinkney (Three Degrees), Johnnie Ray, Lou Reed’s 1989 NEW YORK album, Lyle Ritz (Wrecking Crew), Brad Roberts (Crash Test Dummies), Hrithik Roshan, Samira Said, William Sanderson, Michael Schenker, “Silly Symphony” comics (1932), Frank Sinatra Jr., Sonic the Hedgehog, Nadja Salerni-Sonnenberg, Rod Stewart, Scott Thurston, composer-violinist Gasparo Visconti, Drew Robert Weiser, mega-producer Jerry Wexler, and Scott McKenzie, the singer-songwriter best known for his association with John Phillips and the 1967 Summer of Love anthem “San Francisco (Be Sure to Wear Flowers in Your Hair),” the sonic tract that beckoned 1000s of young people to California.

 

Phillips (who played on the track with The Wrecking Crew) wrote the song to appease authorities concerned that hippies would overrun the Bay Area for the Monterey Pop Festival. Peace and love prevailed. The song has been used in several films and was a theme for the Prague Spring Czech uprising in 1968. That same year, McKenzie’s next Top 40 hit “Like an Old Time Movie” (also written and played by Phillips) segued with McKenzie writing “What About Me” for Anne Murray (her first hit single).

 

Like many artists circa 1960, McKenzie morphed out of doo-wop and became a folkie, joining the New York folk scene that beget The Mamas & The Papas. Phillips initially invited McKenzie to join that group but he declined, saying he didn’t want “the pressure.” Years later McKenzie joined a road version of The Mamas & The Papas in 1986. Concurrently, the Phillips-McKenzie team joined Mike Love and Terry Melcher to create the huge Beach Boys hit “Kokomo.”

 

The evergreen “San Francisco” remains McKenzie’s best-known work (he passed from Guillain-Barre syndrome in 2010). Periodically I dabbled with the song, dirty demo-ing a grunge-y Iggy Pop-like update: https://johnnyjblairsingeratlarge.bandcamp.com/track/san-francisco-be-sure-to-wear-flowers-in-your-hair-demo-remastered-2020

 

HB and RIP Scott.

 

#ScottMcKenzie #SanFrancisco #Flowers #Hair #MontereyPopFestival #SummerofLove #JohnPhillips #MamasandthePapas #wreckingcrew #PragueSpring #folkmusic #BeachBoys #Kokomo #MikeLove #TerryMelcher #GuillainBarre #grungemusic #IggyPop #NobHill #demo #johnnyjblair #singeratlarge

[plusvanity]

Any Ash headcannons?? I know in your fic u kinda touch on strict family or sm? (If you don’t got any that’s okay thought I’d ask anyway sense you’ve done Sal and Larry lol)

Oh, yes! I have HCs for all the characters from SF! ^^ Talking about Ash now..

-Ashley is a general sweet girl. She's shy by nature but once you get to know her, she becomes more and more her true self.

-Growing up, she had a few close friends but nobody stood out to be called 'best friend'. Not until she met Maple in middle-school. The two became inseparable as Maple (who was already into the alternative scene) shared all her favorite bands and rock teenage magazines with Ashley. They helped each other in finding their best original style. For Maple, it was classic Goth while for Ash, it was post-grunge.

-Ash's favorite band and main influence will always be Velvet Underground. She fell in love for the dark, gloomy lullabies and the hauntingly beautiful voice of Lou Reed. (She shared this band with Sal and when Sal was head over heels for Ash, he'd make mix-tapes and play all her favourite V.O. songs) She also loves Pearl Jam, Joy Division, some Iggy Pop' classics and Patti Smith. (Oh, man. SHE LOVES PATTI TO DEATH. MUSIC AND POETRY AGHH)

-Photography and D.I.Y: Just like Larry, she's into sewing stuff. (The most crucial thing every 90's alternative kid must know) Band patches, messy-cropped tops/ shirts and ripped jeans. She loves to personalise her clothes and she's pretty smart in finding ways around her parents not to be too 'right in the face' BUT dress cool and stuff. (It screams grunge but like.. soft grunge if it makes any sense???)

-The relationship with her parents is pretty good in general. Yes, arguments happens sometimes and most of them gravitate around her 'dressing style' but it never escalates into anything too bad. Both her parents are generaly busy people (her father is a workaholic) but they love and want what's best for her. This implies expectations for a real money-making career and yadda-yadda. She still tries to explain to them how she'd love to go into a more 'artistic oriented' field such as professional photography. (We'll get to see what happens lol) She's also got a strict time to be home and if it happens to be late (after 8 pm), her parents would expect Larry (Ash uses him as a 'bodyguard friend') or all of the gang to safely bring her home

- as Sal moved in Nockfell and she got to know him, she instantly liked him as a friend. Silly, funny little dude that she loved to talk to and hang out with. She's very protective and supportive. She'd be the first to defend Sal whenever Travis comes around with the intentions to fuck with them. Her reacts are quicker than Larry's and she's not afraid to stand up for her all of her friends no matter what. (There are hundreds of reasons why Sal got so infatuated with Ash, I cannot even start on this but here's like one of them lol)

In time, it didn't take much at all for her to find out that Sal had a massive crush on her. (Everybody knew and giggled behind Sal's back like silly teenagers do) The knowledge flattered her so much that she actually started developing feelings for Sal. She even expected at some point (thanks to Maple's push and Larry's assurance) that Sal would finally make a move and she'd confess her feelings too.

But it.... tragically didn't happen. It wasn't because Ash was 'too good for Sal' or 'an insufferable bitch' as it's typically depicted. (My heart aches for this girl) Sal did disappoint her, not once, not twice. She wasn't into hard drugs (smoking menthol slims and a bit of weed once in a blue moon was all she ever did) and when she saw how her 'crush' got literally shitfaced by what on Earth him and Larry took... it just crashed the whole fantasy of 'knowing Sal'. In the end, she didn't knew much at all.

-She still holds onto her friendship with him even after everything that happened and even though the spark in her heart faded, she still loves him as a friend. She'll probably alwasy do. She'd always go out with him, drag him to buy some fucking decent shoes and listen to music together.

That's pretty much all the trivia about Ash, I hope I didn't bore you too much haha. Ty for the question! ^^ 

[mother-chorizo]

Thing about punk rock is that pure-strain punk rock actually sucks while music that's adjacent to it is really good. Proto-punk like Iggy and the Stooges and Patti Smith rules, glam rock like David Bowie rules, new wave like Blondie and Siouxsie and the Banshees rules, goth rock like The Sisters of Mercy and Bauhaus rules, grunge like Nirvana rules. But the bands people cite as like, straight up "punk rock" like The Ramones and the Sex Pistols, fucking sucks. It's power pop. Oh I forgot Suicide, the first people to actually advertise themselves as "punk" but whom most now would call "techno-punk," they rule too. People with shit, boring taste are going to fight me on this but real ones know I'm telling the truth.

[boricuacherry-blog]

I'm very much a California girl. I grew up in Long Beach, then moved to San Pedro, which was very multicultural. And my stepfather was Thai and Hawaiian. I do have a musical family, my [biological] dad was in a barbershop quartet and my mom had a lovely voice, which I of course didn't inherit. I was really athletic - I played handball in school and beat all the boys twice before the bell rang - and I had a lot of anger I needed to get out, so I figured I would play the drums. I wound up playing in bands within three weeks of starting to play. Thankfully my family was encouraging. I always wanted to be an artist. There was this gallery near our house and they use to offer oil painting lessons. And I was really into that. That was really my jam.

When I heard punk rock, it had a really big impact on me. I was like, Woah, you can do that? In high school, these girls invited me to go see The Rocky Horror Picture Show and Pink Flamingos. Then you start meeting other people, you know, the guys from Red Cross, and The Stingers [a Longbeach band], because they were also seeing the movies. There was a definite crossover with, you know, punk rock and John Waters movies.

Some of the bands I really liked going to see in Hollywood were like, The Weirdos, and X. I really loved X so much. I copied Exene's hair, with just the bangs and kind of like the egg running down your head of different colors, as if you just cracked an egg of colors down your hair. I also liked The Alleycats - God there were so many bands at that time - Nervous Gender - The Bags. I also listened to a lot of Neil Young and Nick Cave and the bad seeds.

I played in a punk band that was like an art punk band. One of my first bands was called Sexually Frustrated. The two girls that were in it were little people [midgets] and you know, I'm like six foot tall. So it was like a visual thing on top of what we were doing. I was also in a band called IUD with the same two women. We were playing with The Omelettes at Camarillo State Hospital. You know, it was very arty, and there were like saxophones.

I met Courtney [Love] through a friend and she wanted me to be the drummer in a band she was starting. Courtney really wanted to make good songs. I don't think I'd ever played in bands where the words were really revealing anything of yourself - the emotional part of being a woman. I really responded to her lyrics. It's like Courtney was speaking for me in a way I couldn't for myself. The words really tapped into something. Pretty On the Inside really spoke to me - all the horrible stuff in my childhood, the dynamics in my family and with other people - that song just really, really spoke to me. I think I wrote a lot of my drum parts to accent what she was saying in the songs. I would, like, ride the cymbal, but make it sizzle - like Rat Scabies from The Damned, he would do that alot. I'm a very emotional drummer. I'm not the timekeeper metronome type of drummer.

When Jill [Emery] joined, that was when Lisa Roberts had left. Courtney let her go because she was threatening the owner of a club with a screwdriver when they didn't pay us. It turned out the owner was the wife of Eddie Nash, the infamous gangster, so Courtney was like, "No she has to go." And Courtney had already been in acting, so she knew all the Hollywood rigmarole.

I wasn't as into Pearl Jam - I was more into Mudhoney. I really liked the garage rock and Iggy Pop - kind of that Detroit thing.

Babydoll [from Pretty on the Inside] was about Madonna. Courtney saw her driving a Mercedes and didn't like it. Courtney worshipped Madonna though. I think that was her playbook. She wanted to be the rock version of Madonna.

I guess it could be said that grunge owes a lot of its existence to Reagan. We were deep in Reagan's America at the time, with the hypocritical values at the time.

Around the time Courtney got pregnant, I was also pregnant, but didn't realize it at the time. I'd had the flu for weeks, and Eric [Erlandson] goes, "Maybe you're pregnant." And it turns out I was. And unfortunately, my relationship at the time was breaking apart because I was always gone [on tour with Hole]. I got a voice-mail on my answering machine that I was being let go from the band, and this was after Eric had already given me money for an abortion. Courtney was telling me we were gonna be playing with Sonic Youth in November in Japan, so she didn't think me being pregnant was going to be good with me playing drums. So I thought, OK, as part of my career move, I'm going to have the abortion. And then she just kicked me out anyway.

I was actually kicked out three times, which a lot of people don't know. Courtney chastised me in the middle of a show because she thought I wasn't playing fast enough. I felt she was publicly humiliating me, so I threw a drumstick at her head. She was mad and kicked me out. Then it was like, OK you can come back if you just do Slimfast and cigarettes and then play drums everyday and do drum lessons. She really liked how I played, but she wanted me to play perfectly, like a Dave Grohl. So I would just comply - I lost weight, etc.

There were a lot worse experiences I had with Courtney, like her telling me, 'I made you,' and stuff like that, like saying I needed to do whatever she wanted at any given moment because 'I didn't even belong here.' So it feeds on your insecurities. That's what manipulative people do. It just got more and more tense that way.

And I mean at first she would, like, spend the night and we would pig out on Entenmann's and watch like weird videos, and have fun like that, but you know, now I realize what she was doing - she was trying to learn all my Achilles heels. And then she would just press on those things when she wanted me to do something.

Courtney was really smart. She was a speed reader - I mean she went to Montessori school - so she's a fascinating person.

Kurt's funeral was intense. There were about 50 people, not a lot of people there. It was Kurt's family, the Sub Pop family, and just all the people he knew. I was around Kurt, but I didn't really know him. We had very few private moments and unfortunately we did not get to be friends. I went to his apartment one time and he was in his pajamas and I sat on their bed. And he was excited to tell me he had a dream about me. He goes, 'We were in Aberdeen and we were riding bikes in my neighborhood,' and I was asking questions and he was telling me about it. And Courtney was standing in the hallway, very Bette Davis, smoking a cigarette, and she goes, 'Well he needs some female friends, but not you, your tits are too big.' And I was engaged to be married, so I don't think she thought I was flirting with him. And then he just looked at his feet, really ashamed. And I left shortly after that. But I'm proud of what we created.

-Caroline Rue, original drummer for Hole