#grow up man
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I don't think I'll finish this one, but Jeremy crying like the man-child he is came out alright:
I'll let the audience decide what he's snot-nosed sobbing over. What do ya'll think it is?
#artists on tumblr#digital art#digital artist#digital drawing#digital illustration#digital sketch#tf2#team fortress 2#team fortress two#team fortress fanart#tf2 fanart#scout team fortress 2#scout tf2#tf2 scout#red scout#jeremy is a baby#grow up man#that was mean#but true#sorry about the quality its zoomed in :(
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Survival tip #158: Big V gets a little upset if you don't refer to rooms by their full names. Like, you need to call it the Paranormal Pantry. If you just say pantry he'll straight up send a creature after you. Kayfabe or something.
#duskmourn#magic the gathering#duskmourn survival guide#i'd be so embarrassed if i was valgavoth#ooh im going to the unhallowed hallway#grow up man
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you really are easy to trigger, huh?
Expressing disgust at someone treating an arrest for domestic abuse like it's someone getting fired for an old bigoted tweet they made once isn't being "easily triggered", it's common decency.
#abuse mention tw#also damn you're really still using ''trigger'' like that?#grow up man#2016 called#they want their edgelord jokes back
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Huh. Wonder what it's like being the most boring man in existence.
#mother 1#I think valentine especially being like oh this must be a lovely place#And then everyone there wanting to BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU is peak comedy#What you don't like the comfy starting town you return to to see ur mom being called mothers day??#Grow up man
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Just got a bunch of hate reviews on FFN because I told the person that I don’t take fic requests. 🙄
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fistfighting my manager would fix me I think
#like damn bro being this bad at your job is just embarrassing at this point#he's also so needlessly catty for a middle aged man#grow up man
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The man is literally insufferable.
#griffin plays kotor#i literally love carth i do but. what are we doing here.#let me harass this brain damaged woman under my command#then interrogate her about the jedi meddling with her and using her as a pawn#yeah that'll help my massive guilt complex for sure#grow up man
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I have some questions about karaoke night, Alex Hirsch. Very Important Questions. Which I will happily scream at a poor hapless baby triangle who can have no answers for me, and possibly also does not have object permanence yet.
Follow-up that is I guess suggestive, but let's be real here, Bill's a fucking triangle:
Dude slipped right into his birthday suit, lmao
this is so stupid :D
Anyway, I don't care what anyone says, this brilliant individual knows what's up - Bill is absolutely way more of a monsterfucker than Ford could or ever will be, full stop.
#fanart#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#gravity falls#book of bill#i watched gravity falls because i was curious about all the Toxic Old Man Yaoi on my dash and wanted context#turns out most of the context was in the book of bill tho lmao#look they either banged or married or both while drunk and i will accept no other possibilities#you don't use the phrase 'and one thing led to another' in a PRIVATE JOURNAL if what happened wasn't salacious in some way#i mean - ford didn't exactly grow up in The Most Inclusive Time Period???#dude was probably like 'gotta use this wording for plausible deniability - NO ONE can know i boinked the talking triangle'#in other news - i must bully the baby billy#don't know how much more GF stuff i'll toss up here but i have a few other little scribbles in the works. probably won't color them tho lol#also don't ask me why bill's bowtie stays where it is despite his “pants” being under it. just. just fucking don't ok???#EDIT: oh and since i see this a lot in this fandom for some reason: DO NOT REPOST THIS PLZ K THX :D
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cannot believe one screwdriver joose has got me acting unwise
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you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.
but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.
i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.
so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.
you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."
i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"
"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.
i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.
and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.
you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."
"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."
you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.
i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"
"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."
"do i die?"
you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."
"oh."
"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."
i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.
i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.
"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."
i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.
you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."
"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.
you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."
"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.
i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."
you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."
"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."
"you could always die, to be fair."
i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"
"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."
i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."
"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."
i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"
"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."
i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push my heel into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"
i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.
"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."
you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.
you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.
i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.
#warm up#prose#i just realized that there's a horror film in there about being someone NOT in a loop.#if i wanted to make it longer i'd have them come back like SUPER battered and hellish.#on round like 999#like halfway through lunch like - YOU . I LOVE U . IM SORRY . I RUINED IT BC I LOVE U CANT U SEE THAT#but like. yeah man what happens when someone else in control of ur destiny#what happens to all the versions of u that DO die...#i also wanted a pre-redemption time looper - this person#(who in my brain is they/them)#is absolutelyyyyyy toying with the narrator bc the time looper is caught up in like#an emo angsty '' i can't have what i want bc i ruin things'' self harm spiral#and like literally the way out of that spiral is to TRY bud.#but this is a person pre-redemption. still kind of an ass. still not really listening to her#still a little bit ignoring that they kissed someone 3 days ago#still KNOWS she likes them and DOES like her back. but is just too chickenshit still.#we're talkin that person we've ALL dated that's like ''i can't be with u anymore bc i am Too Broken and I Can't Stand Hurting U"#... i imagine they grow up tho. eventually.
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shane dawson is too damn old to be be styling his hair like its 2013
#im watching jarvis johnsons video and oh my god#I KNOW HES DONE WORSE THINGS BUT HIS HAIR IS REALLY PISSING ME OFF#GROW UP MAN
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Au where obito got a crush on the new guy (sukea) and is just a guy failure abt it.
#obkk#obikaka#obito uchiha#obito x kakashi#kakashi hatake#kakashi x obito#naruto shippuden#rin nohara#team minato#minato namikaze#guy failure obito is so real#Rin just enjoying the show fr#Minato just a proud mother#Kakashi confused asf#Obito: man that Sukea guy is soo cool.. oh shit i think i like like the guy#Kakashi: fucking trips on air#Obito: Tf's up witchu? I'm the one with one eye bakashi#Rin: *in her head* y'all are BOTH blind jfc.#Minato: haha my bb's are growing up so fast
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you KNOW they fucked after this. like, you wouldnt want to be their quarters neighbor that day. i know it was NASTY. i just know it.
#the way jims smile grows even more after looking away from spock#what sweet nothings are you projecting into that mans mind mister spock#also the eyebrow raise head tilt slight smirk#shut the fuck UP#GOD#eating drywall tonight#star trek#st tos#star trek tos#spock#star trek spock#spirk#jim kirk
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fistfighting my manager would fix me I think
#like damn bro being this bad at your job is just embarrassing at this point#he's also so needlessly catty for a middle aged man#grow up man
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hmm :/
#just hurt my own feelings lol#i knew i shouldn’t have checked#i wish he had the decency to at least be up front with me about things#like if you don’t wanna keep talking that’s fine#but being distant and then updating your hinge profile?#grow up man
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Local man desperately trying to stop the cycle before it gets to his kids (it’s already there)
#with great power comes You Are Still A Child. Be A Child. Do Not Kill This Part Of Yourself Because You Think I Won’t Love You If You Don’t#‘there comes a time when we all must grow up’ and that time has no obligation to come at 15#ninjago#lego ninjago#my art#lloyd garmadon#dragons rising#ninjago lloyd#ninjago sora#lloyd and sora have so many fuckinf parallels man I’m crazy#they keep doing the same things they keep being like each other#that’s his kind of daughter TO ME
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