#groomers digging their own grave

[sophieinwonderland]

Obviously it is awful whenever anti-endos harass or hate on anyone, but there's a morbid part of me that's always pleased when it happens. Because wow, anti-endos are really digging their own grave, aren't they? Like, sure, we could talk about research and scientific consensus and cultural practices and religion and everything else – but none of that really holds a candle to just... their regular hateful bullshit.

Anti-endos like to act as though they'll one day be known as the champions of rights for disordered systems, and thus that gives them the right to do whatever they want in their "quest to defeat ableism". But they're really just shooting themselves in the foot and it's a DELIGHT to see! My heart goes out to everyone they've ever hurt, but at the same time, I invite everyone who's ever been hurt by an anti-endo to laugh at how they're slowly building up a reputation that's going to bite them in the ass sooner or later.

Harassment campaigns in plural tags. Wishing death on others for existing. Sending suicide bait and violent threats in response to positivity posts. Chasing popular animators off social media for being pro-endo. Fakeclaiming not just endogenic systems, but any traumagenic system that disagrees with them (or, as I once saw, ever previously identified as endogenic). And I recently learned that they've been harassing system mods and owners to the point of having to close the server EVEN WHEN THE SERVER ITSELF WASN'T SYSTEM FOCUSED, IT WAS JUST ENDO FRIENDLY OR NEUTRAL AT WORST. And let's not forget the recent development of calling endogenic systems "groomers", nor all the miscellaneous awful things Aspen did with full support from her little hate crusaders.

At this point, the scientific evidence for endogenic systems is more like the cherry on top. Anti-endos can spread their hate all they want – a well-timed question of "wait, you agree with the group that (just one of the many awful things they've done)?" is going to tear that down. And as this reputation spreads, more and more will reject anti-endo narratives before they even meet one themselves.

"Syscourse? Oh, yeah, there's a small group of people in system spaces that think if you ever disagree with them or use a label they don't like, then you're automatically faking a dissociative disorder for internet clout or to make fun of them personally. Yeah it's such a weird leap of logic isn't it?? They're really vicious about it too, did you hear that they once rallied behind a homophobic TikToker who was using slurs and making fun of disabled people? I don't know why they think they're fighting ableism when they act like that... It's honestly pretty concerning..." ← the soon to be average discussion of syscourse from those uninvolved in it, if I had to guess

The bright side of not having to do anything for people to hate you is that you don't have to do anything for people to make fools of themselves while trying to make you feel bad. They just do that to themselves.

Anti-endos really are just out here digging their own graves.

As nice as these incidents are in turning people against them though, it does suck seeing the harassment leveled against anyone who doesn't support them.

But on the whole Yaelokre server incident, can I say that I'm also pretty disappointed in the mods. IMO, this was a time to take a stand, ban the bigots, and protect the innocent systems in the server, not to pack up and run.

Yes, the bigots and harassers are horrible. It's terrible to be put in a position where bigots are demanding you ban innocent people for existing. But the correct response to that situation is standing for what's right, not running and hiding like cowards, destroying the space you built in the process.

If their principles were making a safe space for all Yaelokre fans, they failed. They backed down, and let the bigots win. Maybe it didn't give the bigots exactly what they wanted by banning endogenic systems. But they did still succeed in destroying a safe space for everyone.

The mods let hate win. They let bigotry win.

I hope the lesson others take away from this is seeing how many people got hurt by surrendering like this, and realizing that you can't back down to bullies.

[enneamage]

i hate reflecting on dsmp plot points and their irl parallels because if i think about tommy putting half his traumatic life experiences (stalking, getting bullied badly) onto his oc in various levels of execution and then not giving him a happy ending i start going crazy. the dsmp finale lining up with groomer allegations and c!tommy forgiving his abuser at the same time was so 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 they were pushing propaganda /j

the varying levels of how much someone was an oc and how much they separated their character from themselves and the parasocial birds eye view we could get from those people based on how they played situations (tommy, dream, wilbur to me all had themselves embedded into the core of their ocs to a certain degree; dream with his own entitlement just taken to an extreme, wilbur’s mix of narcissism & self-hate, tommy, oh chommy 😞) like for sure with some people who came in late and thus came in with separation of themselves from the story it’s not fully fruitful to analyze but those early people who just straight admitted “this was me, this is straight up what i think i would do in this situation” i think parasocial brain should be allowed to go brrrrrrrrrrrrrr for at least half an hour like. something something imbuing your subconscious feelings into what your creating something something I need to be Sedated

The DSMP ending lands very bitter in retrospect because the note they end on is a yearning for things to go back to being simple again. A few of the plot threads leading up to it had themes of “I wish things were back the way they were before all this” and the implication was that Volume Two was going to be that. It’s safe to say that there was too much real history put behind the CCs by the time it all built up, you can’t turn back time. 

Chommy indeed suffered but I’m too much of a hardass to let him off the hook 100%, c!Tommy was a lot of Tommy’s capacity to dig his own grave and then not understand why he’s in This Big Fucking Hole. The difficulty with seeing others points of view fully was present in C! And CC, and was tied into his ending when he challenged himself, which while inevitably not perfect I saw the vision for at the time.

C!Dream stays with me because of the communication breakdown inherent to his character. Lost in a plot to make things right again and looking to a future that he can devise mechanically because he couldn’t have it naturally. The way knee-jerk instincts and mechanics brain got in his own way, lost in a plan he buried his feelings in.

I’ve written on Wilbur too many times we don’t gotta linger on it. But damn. 

Q turning envy into ambition and then dicking himself and his employees over on the back of his own hubris. 

Honestly I even have one eye on Charlie’s slime bit being about pretending to be ‘normal’ but missing the mark in terms of imitation from time to time. Being a natural at improv can be very double sided if it goes deep enough.

[woomycritiques543]

https://twitter.com/DailyMordecai/status/1656067067986993157?s=19

Read this.....

They're now calling Erin anti-trans over some shit Morgana said.

These people are literally one step towards being sued by Erin, I swear, and the fact that they're doing this to take advantage of the fact that freelance workers cant legally defend themselves is disgusting. Also, here's the evidence Ken posted od the fact that he was not a groomer (as far as ive heard... so take this was a grain of salt.) and this was all taken out of context to slander him:

(Sorry, I forgot to add the document it was late when I wrote this!)

Either way, this is all just slander with no evidence, they're depserate to erase the evidence out of fear of a CARTOON SHOW being cancelled from their own actions, as if the cartoon is somehow the "only!" thing that matters and not other human lives...

A "TERF!" is a serious claim that can blacklist someone from the industry, so it's clear that Jayman knew this, which is why they decided to slander Erin for coming out about her mistreatment:

Also, a well known voice actor defended this with "YOU DONT KNOW A VA'S RESPONSIBILITIES!" when Ignis watched the episode?!

-and if you know that there's trans erasure, why would you continue to support the person who's erasing your community's representation?!

WHY WOULD YOU NOT SPEAK OUT IF YOU'RE BEING ERASED AND SAW IT HAPPEN?!

WHY WOULD YOU CONTINUE TO SUPPORT A SHOW THAT'S TRANSPHOBIC?!

If Squidder can say something when it's not their "responsibility" to speak out about an animator's responsibility, if Erin, someone who had no part in the actual episode, can say something, Ignis could have as well!

They're just digging the graves of their own reputations at this point. Wow...

Also offtopic but...

Jayman is honestly such a desperate clout chaser, the whole time, all they did was suck the dicks of people's follow counts.

What a miserable human being... goddamn.

[mew-against-onision]

Seriously, I can’t even some this one up properly, it’s so pointless and fake.

That packaging supposedly contains an iMac pro he has to sell because we got his patreon deleted. Of course, it wasn’t him doxxing Billie that got him deleted, no, it was us for sure. *eyeroll*

He waves a petition of a simplified dissolution of marriage into the camera, saying a certain someone gave it to him today. Ranting on about misgendering, yadda yadda yadda. Followed by fake “Everything will be okay” and mentioning the Tesla he is currently driving.

Then going into high-pitched screaming.

If you still feel like watching it, watch this reupload (thanks for that!) but be prepared for annoying screaming and bad acting. Never heard anyone fake-scream like that, I feel like my ears may start to bleed.

dissolution reuload - posted two hours from now.

Here's your daily onision breakdown brought to you by me your friendly neighborhood anti o.

[jrheatriz]

I really hate going on and on and on abt how disappointing it is that tommy treats lore and dream more importantly than victims of grooming but. It's just soooo.

Tommy spent years gushing about how much he loves his fan base and how much he never wants to feel like a bad person, but in the last 3 days he's done nothing but show that he doesn't care enough about doing the right thing to cut dream off. He's just ignored everything we've been saying, as if his friend's grooming allegations are something he can just Ignore.

I wonder what's going on inside his head, honestly. I'm just completely unable to rationalize why he would behave like this while under fire from thousands of hurt and angry people who are Specifically criticizing him because he refuses to stop giving a platform to a Groomer.

I have a hard time believing that all the appreciation he's shown to his fans are lies, but in practice it kind of just seems like he doesn't give a rat's ass about us or what we say. He's digging his own grave that way, and either he doesn't realize that or he doesn't care.

I really wish things could have been going any other way. I wish he Listened.

Regardless of how attached I feel to him because of my hyperfix I just really hate to see someone with a platform like this, who seemed to be so candid about his love to his fans or his fear about being a bad person, continue to act like these allegations mean nothing. It's just so, so, sad.

Whether he realizes it or not, he won't come out of this unscathed. And, regrettably, as much as I know that he's dug a deep hole for himself by sticking by a groomer who has repeatedly misused his platform, and as much as I know Tommy clearly has no intention of stopping, there's this nagging, pulling hope in my chest that some point things will just Click for him. That he'll get it and finally understand how important it is for him to let dream go.

Obviously it would hurt me more to hope this way, but I really just can't help it. I want to see that the good I saw in him Before all this was somehow here all along and he just hasn't figured it out yet.

Im working hard to squash that, since all its done for me is make me more and more disappointed in him.

But Yeah. That's where I'm at, I guess.

[janeorozco92]

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Psst Cat Spray

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[confessionsofbirthmothers]

"An awful story has been unfolding in Arkansas. On March 5, Benjamin Hardy of the Arkansas Times published an explosive investigation about how State Representative Justin Harris “rehomed” his young adoptive children, leaving them in the care of a former employee, who was later convicted of raping one, a six-year-old girl. In March 2013, Rep. Harris and his wife Marsha adopted two sisters from foster care. They had previously fostered a third sister. Just six months later, the Arkansas Times revealed, all three children had been sent away from the home: the oldest girl, who reportedly had severe behavioral issues, was removed by the Arkansas Department of Human Services. But, without any DHS supervision or vetting, the Harrises placed the two youngest with the family of 38-year-old Eric Cameron Francis, who had worked for the Harrises at their Christian preschool business in northwest Arkansas. In April 2014, Francis was arrested on charges of raping one of the sisters, and was eventually sentenced to 40 years in prison. The story got worse this week, as the Arkansas Times reported that, in the Harris home, the sisters had allegedly been isolated from one another in bedrooms equipped with alarms and video monitors because the Harrises believed that they were “possessed by demons and could communicate telepathically.” At one point, a former babysitter told the paper, the Harrises hired a team of exorcists to treat the girls. While all of this is shocking, some elements of the case are not as anomalous as one would wish. When adoptions fail, things can go terribly wrong for adopted children. Sometimes they’re passed from home to home, without any outside oversight, as Reuters reported in an extensive series on online “rehoming” forums in 2013. Some adoptees have been neglected and abused or, as I reported for Mother Jones earlier in 2013, even forcibly repatriated to their countries of origin. Sometimes, as I wrote in Slate, adoptees end up homeless or—in very rare cases—dead. Often when adoptions fail—particularly when the cases become public knowledge—adopted children’s behavioral issues are blamed, and the children are said to have been too traumatized or damaged to function in their new homes. When Rep. Harris gave a press conference last week to respond to the controversy around the Arkansas Times’ report, he presented his family as victims of the foster care system. He argued that the girls had greater emotional problems than were disclosed, and, once the adoptions were finalized, they began acting out in frightening ways. One, he said, screamed for hours at a time, and threatened to kill the family. Another harmed a family pet. Harris said he and his wife kept their biological sons with them at night out of fear that their new sisters might hurt them. That the sisters adopted by the Harrises had significant emotional challenges seems undisputed. Two of the sisters had previously been sexually abused, and a foster family who had cared for two of the girls say they strongly discouraged the Harrises from adopting, warning them that they were not prepared to meet the girls’ needs. After the oldest adoptee was removed by DHS, the Harrises still had problems with the younger two sisters. They believed that the middle child—the one who was later abused by Francis—had reactive attachment disorder, or RAD, and said that keeping her confined in her room for extended periods of time and taking away her books and toys was a form of treatment. The Harisses’ attorney denied that the couple’s strong evangelical faith supported exorcism or demon possession and instead said the family had relied on the teachings of a woman named Nancy Thomas, a self-styled expert on RAD attachment therapies and author of the book When Love Is Not Enough: a Parent’s Guide to Reactive Attachment Disorder. As medical professionals define it, RAD is an uncommon condition that results from children experiencing early abuse or neglect, and is expressed through a pattern of behavior wherein children are either unusually withdrawn or unusually friendly. But while adopted children sometimes contend with psychological conditions that can make normal family life very challenging, or sometimes impossible, critics say that that RAD is misunderstood and greatly over-diagnosed, particularly among adoptees who may be undergoing predictable difficulty adjusting to a new family. Linda Rosa, a nurse and Executive Director of Advocates for Children in Therapy, also charges that proponents of the sort of attachment therapy Nancy Thomas practices have conflated the medical condition of RAD with a pseudoscientific diagnosis of “Attachment Disorder” that sounds like a nightmare scenario, conjuring images of permanently broken and violent children who set fire to the family home or mutilate the pets. Rosa says the symptoms of this unrecognized but widely discussed version of Attachment Disorder appear broad enough to include the behavior of nearly all children on a bad day, such as refusing to look parents in the eyes, being disobedient or demanding, resisting being held or failing to smile. Some of these attachment therapists have claimed that all or most adoptees and foster children have attachment disorders. Critics like Rosa are concerned that the hazy diagnosis of Attachment Disorder can lead frightened parents to employ unproven treatment methods that border on abuse, noting that in 2006, the American Professional Society on the Abuse of Children published a report condemning these versions of Attachment Therapy, specifically referring to Thomas’ work. Many of these treatments, popularized by attachment therapists in Evergreen, Colo., revolve around asserting parents’ absolute control over their children, through strict regulations on children’s movements and eating habits. Sometimes children are put on extremely limited diets of bland, unappetizing food; assigned hours of pointless, repetitive chores; forced to sit in one location, facing the wall, for hours at a time; and endure “holding therapy,” wherein children may be forcibly held down by parents or therapists to induce first a feeling of rage and powerlessness, then catharsis and acceptance when they finally submit. In 2000, 10-year-old Candace Newmaker famously died under the care of attachment therapists in Evergreen during a controversial “rebirthing” treatment. In extreme cases that have gone to court in the last two decades, some adoptive and foster parents have justified locking children in caged-in bunk beds as a form of attachment therapy that they said they were inspired to try after reading books on attachment therapy, or employed terrifying punishments like forcing children to “dig their own graves.” It’s important to note that Nancy Thomas has certainly not advocated putting children in cages nor digging their own graves. But there is enough in her methods to cause concern. Thomas came to attachment therapy not through medical or psychotherapeutic training, but through her longtime work with foster children. A former dog groomer and devout Christian, Thomas became a therapeutic foster parent at the Attachment Center at Evergreen in Colorado, complementing therapists’ work by maintaining a home environment of constant strict discipline. Thomas says that, of the many foster children she’s cared for over the years, 90 percent have been “kids who killed.” Today, Thomas has parlayed her experience working with Evergreen into a methodology she calls “Nancy Thomas Parenting,” which she promotes through her books, summer ���attachment camps,” consultations and speaking engagements. Thomas says that traditional therapy is “a total waste of time” with “Attachment Disordered kids.” She instead advises more radical methods, including her own reports of having sat on children who are acting out of control; feeding them “soup kitchen meals”; forbidding them from speaking; or, like the Harrises, putting alarms on their bedroom doors in case they try to leave without permission. “In the beginning, your child should learn to ask for everything,” Thomas wrote in When Love Is Not Enough, the book the Harrises referenced. “They must ask to go to the bathroom, to get a drink of water, EVERYTHING. When it starts to feel like they must ask to breathe, you are on the right track.” “The RAD therapies are really all about taking control of the children, under the auspices of keeping them safe and helping them trust adults,” says Rachael Stryker, an anthropologist and author of The Road to Evergreen: Adoption, Attachment and the Promise of Family. Since writing her book Attachment Therapy on Trial: The Torture and Death of Candace Newmaker, psychology professor Jean Mercerhas become a staunch critic of RAD therapies, which she says mistakenly equate obedience with attachment. Mercer also notes that there is a concerning synchronicity between attachment therapy principles and outdated religious child rearing philosophies that emphasize children’s submission above all else. That overlap makes it unsurprising that children said to have RAD are spoken of in almost supernatural terms: as demonic or possessed. Some RAD therapy websites Mercer studies have claimed that one sign of the disorder is a darkness behind the children’s’ eyes. Nancy Thomas has often spoken about her attachment work in spiritual language. In a 1990 HBO documentary featuring Thomas and her adopted daughter, she said kids with RAD “believ[e] they’re evil, believ[e] they’re from the devil.” In one educational video, wrote Mercer, Thomas cautioned against allowing foster children to say grace at meals, “because you don’t know who they might be praying to.” And on her website’s definition of Attachment Disorder, Thomas includes a list of allegedly Attachment Disordered people “that did not get help in time,” including Saddam Hussein, Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy. That sort of comparison raises the stakes with attachment disorders from pathologizing to demonization, says Mercer. “The phrase ‘these children,’ is something said again and again. They’re saying we’re talking about a special kind of person here, not an every-day child. … This is a person who will grow up to be a serial killer.” And once frightened parents have that frame of reference—that they’re dealing with “killer kids” who cannot be fixed with love or traditional therapies—it can be a short step to believing that extraordinary measures are required, and that any means necessary are justified to intervene with a troubled child."