#grocery shopping hijinks

[ree-set-art]

It’s well past time to reveal this one! It’s a messy little narrative but boy did I have fun with it. Isn’t it sweet? I hope people enjoy all the little details. It does no justice to how excellent the Lupin’s Gourmet World: Lupin III Recipe Book turned out! It has some amazing recipes from breakfast to drinks and is really cute/fun.

While there aren’t any physical editions left, the digital edition is still available for just a day or two more. Consider donating to Black and Pink by indulging in some simple but tasty delicacies~

[spicycinnabun]

your little rebel 1/2

@tommykinardweek for brat/brat tamer ♡ rated e ♡ read on ao3 ♡ tags: sex toys, sexting at work, d/s, daddy kink, brat!buck, sugaring (more tags tba for pt. 2)

Tommy had finished performing routine maintenance on his bird and was sitting down for a quick lunch break in the hangar. He was just about to bite into his sandwich—pastrami on rye, nothing fancy—when his phone chimed. He dug it out of the pocket of his jumpsuit.

Tommy’s lips quirked when he saw the notification was from Evan. He had the day off. He’d said he was going to go grocery shopping, hit the gym, and then run a few errands. They were planning on seeing each other that night. 

Evan had a key to Tommy’s place. Though they hadn’t moved in together and still spent time at Evan’s loft, Evan seemed to prefer it at Tommy’s. 

Tommy didn’t mind. More than not minded, actually. It made his chest ache to come home to the lights on, warm homey smells, lively chitter-chatter, and someone who’d missed him and was happy to see him. He was trying not to get too used to it.  

Evan was going to cook dinner: chicken parmesan, a recipe of Bobby’s he’d made his own creative tweaks to. 

“I’m calling it chicken plantmesan. You’ll be amazed at how good it tastes,” he’d told Tommy. “You won’t even be able to tell the difference.”

Tommy had mentioned wanting to cut dairy from his diet for a while to see if it’d help with some bloating, and Evan had said he would do it with him. It was sweet, especially since Tommy knew Evan liked dairy products even more than he did. Evan was the guy who told the waiter to keep going when he came by the table with the cheese grater. 

“Bet it won’t taste as good as you,” Tommy had flirted, pitching his voice low on purpose just to see the blush light up Evan’s cheeks. 

Smiling a bit wider at the memory, Tommy put his sandwich down and opened the text. 

Finished my errands early.

Beneath that was an image. Usually, Evan sent him random pictures. Stupid memes, a photo of a stray cat he’d seen during his jog, his breakfast smoothie, Eddie, the rest of the 118 and their daily hijinks. This wasn’t any of those things. 

Tommy stared, a little dizzy, as all the blood in his upper body immediately rushed south. 

It was his bedroom. The shot was taken from a distance, probably from his dresser. Evan was naked on the bed on all fours, long legs spread wide on the mattress. He was down on his elbows, ass up on full display. He was glancing over his shoulder at the camera, heavy-lidded eyes drowsy with pleasure, lips red like he’d been biting them and parted like he was panting. Evidence of how turned on he was hung heavy and visible between his thighs.

But what really caught Tommy’s gaze was what was sitting snugly inside Evan. The flared base of a toy. It was red. The shape of a heart.

Tommy quickly zoomed out (when had he zoomed in?), saved the image to his photos and then deleted it from their conversation, just in case some busybody snuck up behind him without warning. He'd almost forgotten where he was.

He typed out a message with fingers that shook only slightly, heart pounding, mouth dry.

Evan. You know I’m at work.

Evan had never been so bold as to send him something like that while he was on shift. They’d sent dirty texts before; that was nothing new, but this was. 

Couldn’t wait to show you what I bought. 

Sorry, Daddy ❤️

Tommy’s arm slipped, and like an idiot, he knocked over his steaming hot coffee. “Shit!” 

He grabbed the napkins from his lunch pail and quickly mopped up the mess before it reached his keyboard or monitor. He recovered swiftly when one of the other pilots walking by gave him the stink eye.

“You okay, Kinard?”

Tommy nodded, stone-faced. “Fantastic.”

He squeezed the damp napkins in his fist and took a bite of his sandwich to occupy his mouth and seem normal. He obviously wasn’t thinking about the food anymore.

The pilot shrugged, accepting it.

Tommy’s phone buzzed again. He waited until the pilot was gone before picking it back up. “Christ, he’s going to be the death of me,” he muttered. 

You like it though? It has a remote. Thought you might enjoy controlling it.

And now it was time to get out of plain sight before he completely embarrassed himself. Tommy dropped his garbage in the trashcan and walked briskly to the washroom, locking the door behind himself. He leaned against it and tried to maintain his cool before he replied. But he was starting to sweat.

I was wondering what that charge on my card was, he answered.

He was lying. He hadn’t actually checked his statement, but upon looking now, there was one purchase of $59.74 from Cupid’s Closet. 

It had taken some cajoling for Evan to let Tommy buy things for him—little treats, clothes he wanted, toys—especially since he’d been a bit pushy about Evan paying for things at the start of their relationship—but eventually, Evan had given in. He’d even started buying for himself without needing to ask. Evan acted like he didn't deserve any of it, of course, that he didn't need any of it, but Tommy could tell the attention was doing it for him.

Tommy never thought it’d be his thing, but he loved sugaring Evan. It felt nice. Cliché, sure—the whole ‘go ahead, baby, go wild with Daddy’s credit card’ thing—but who cared? Turned out it gave them both joy. Tommy liked spoiling him. Marie Kondo would be proud of Tommy for not throwing that shit away.

Haha, yeah

Tommy could hear the faltering, uncertain gears turning in Evan’s head, so he quickly sent another message. 

I love it. Pretty. Keep it in. But you know the rules, honey. Hands off. Wait for me.

The bubbles started and then stopped. Started and then stopped again. 

I’ll try to…

Evan.

Fine. But you better make it worth my while. 

Tommy smirked. What a brat. 

Keep talking like that, and I’ll leave you all on your lonesome tonight.

This time, Tommy received a selfie of Evan’s exaggerated pout. His cheeks were flushed strawberry pink, his blond curls looking soft and tousled against one of Tommy’s dark green pillows. 

Mean.

Oh, Evan had no idea how mean Tommy was capable of being. 

You have to behave if you want my attention.

Evan’s reply was lightning-fast. Smug.

That’s not how I remember it.

Tommy chuckled as he thought of what had gotten them to this point. Touché.

And I already said I will! Evan continued. …But it feels kind of amazing. 

Tommy sighed, wishing he was home already. 

I bet it does.

♡

A little while later, Tommy received a new text. He made another escape to the washroom with the excuse that he’d drunk too much coffee, feeling like a teenager and not almost forty as he hid from his crew.

This time, it was only a photo of Evan’s naked torso. A close-up of his abs and pecs in all their glory, painted with streaks of translucent white that dripped down muscled valleys. He’d come all over himself. 

All the accompanying text said was Oops.

Tommy exhaled a noisy breath. “Do not get hard at work, jackass.” 

Honestly, he never thought he’d have to scold himself regarding that. 

Tommy put his phone on the edge of the sink, turning on the taps to give his face a quick splash of water. He wiped off with a paper towel, willing his body to cooperate and calm before he texted back.

Guess you don’t need me now, huh, hotshot? I was going to have fun playing with you, but maybe I’ll catch the game on TV instead.

Evan's bubbles started bubbling. They seemed to be moving wilder than usual, somehow. 

It's not like I can’t get it up again. I’m not an old man like someone I know.

Tommy’s brows rose sharply. He almost barked a laugh, but that was just what he needed: people outside thinking he’d lost his fucking marbles. 

There was silence for a few more moments and then a series of dings, each coming quicker than the last. 

Wait

I didn’t really mean it about the old thing

I want to be with you tonight

And your refractory period is remarkable for a man your age!

Tommy snorted. 

Wow, thanks.

I was thinking about you the entire time and how sexy you are and what I want you to do to me when you get here. I just couldn’t control myself.

Next time, I promise I won’t come until you're here and you say so.

Tommy? 

Tommy grinned to himself. He needed to make Evan sweat for a bit. It was all part of the game.

Tommy knew it. He’d played it before with other men, but…

None of them had excited him like this. Not at this level. Not like Evan did. Evan was a little (well, big, muscular, and adorable) firecracker. He was impulsive, curious as hell, and wanted to dive headfirst into all sorts of new situations. He was exploring his kinks and surprising them both with what he was learning he liked. 

Tommy was learning a few things, too. Funny because he thought he’d figured out all there was to know about himself years ago. He guessed even old dogs could learn new tricks.

Evan let Tommy drive and followed every safety precaution—for the most part. Sometimes, he tried to push too hard, too fast. Sometimes, he tried hiding his discomfort to gain Tommy’s approval and wouldn’t yellow or red light. That people pleasing, low self-worth, and fear of rejection clear as day in his every action.

They’d learned that bratting was a tangible way to break out of that mindset, at least a little. Something Evan had never let himself do. Stop trying to be good all the time. A cathartic release to say no, go against the rules, be bad, and take what he wanted. In a healthier way than maiming his best friend, of course.

But Tommy didn’t push too far in his punishments. There was only so much Evan could handle. Tommy was careful with his limits.

And… well, he felt too much goddamn affection for the kid to be as cold as he had been with previous partners. That side of him just wasn’t meant for Evan.

You’re still in trouble. 

Tommy let that sit for a minute before sending a final message.

I’ll be home soon, sweetheart. You can make it up to me.

He chuckled at the litany of heart emojis he received approximately five seconds later. Oh, cute.

[awakenedturnip]

URGENT CONCEPT:

A d&d game where the party plays as the spirit team of a particular fictional individual. The particular individual lives in the real world and does things like go to work and grocery shopping. The party, whom the individual (at least initially) cannot see or hear in any way, has to keep them from falling into hijinks with non-physical and non-visible (to the individual) entities and traps as well as helping them avoid physical hazards and social blenders by using their magic and attacks, etc to influence objects, animals, lights and other assorted conditions in the real world.

For example, the party sorcerer receives guidance from their patron that the individual will become involved in a fatal car accident. The party must prevent this! Possible solutions include: the artificer shorting out the starter in their car, the druid charming a bird to attack them on their way to the car, the wizard casting a spell in order to make their keys temporarily invisible.

This entire concept gets even funnier if you're playing with a group of witches, lightworkers or otherwise spiritual folks.

[strandnreyes]

asks from your own cute game!!! 💔👻💤

💔 You have to break up one couple in season 5. Who’s not making it?

Mateo and Nancy. The show has half assed their relationship for like two seasons and I feel nothing for them I’m so sorry skdjsks I feel like the chemistry is just not chemistry-ing. if they want me to care about them, they need to do something with them. but at the same time, there are other things I’d rather focus on in the show than their relationship so what we have is more than enough sjfhsn

👻 Biggest ghost believer and biggest skeptic

Owen is for sure the believer and I think he would get Tommy in on his hijinks (esp. after the Charles thing). I think it would take some more convincing to get the rest of the crew on board with the ‘the firehouse is haunted’ theory but they would all start to come around when there are some things that cannot be explained. except for Judd. when they wake him in the middle of the night, he is just:

done with their shit

💤 Shiftless! What’s (insert character)’s favorite thing to do on their day off?

you didn’t give me a character dear so I’ll pick Carlos lol

when he’s off and TK isn’t, I think he’s one of those annoyingly productive people who wakes up early when TK leaves and does laundry and cleans the loft and visits his mom for lunch and visits TK at work and works out and grocery shops and meal preps and has dinner made for TK by the time he gets home so they can spend the rest of the night together. when TK is also off, it’s a different story

[waitmyturtles]

1) I’M BACK HOME! I’M BACK I’M BACK I’M BACK. Massive intercontinental trip is complete (I think Oceania counts in there as intercontinental)! Weddings, family, amazing sights (THANK YOU @clairificusrex for your recs!), freaking ridiculous food, so much Asian grocery shopping that we don’t have here in the States -- wow. Being an adult is exhausting, but having adventures like this is special.

The kids did FABULOUSLY on their longest flights. Any parents fearful of international travel, hit me the fuck up, because, cough, Benadryl, cough. But only one kid needed it, and both kids snuggled up to each other during their sleep, and me and hubs were just delighted.

I hope melatonin works for jet lag. But I’m full of energy right now at least, because!

2) HOW COULD GMMTV DROP THE OUR SKYY 2 trailer while I was inaccessible to the internet, dammit! 

JESUS, IT LOOKS GOOD. That’s all I can say. Bad Buddy, The Eclipse, ATOTS (those are the shows I watched, ha) -- I can’t wait. But I’ll watch the episodes for all the series, because it does seem heavily indicated that there may be crossover hijinks happening.

3) I’d also like to be contrary to everyone on the internet and give two big THUMBS UPS to Pat/Ohm Pawat’s long hair. Call me a traditionalist Indian! Long hair don’t care.

4) I watched Bed Friend episode 8 on the plane. I’ll write up a thing tonight if/when the kids get to sleep, or tomorrow. All I can say right now is that EVERY EPISODE GETS BETTER, and the love from Uea’s aunt, friends, work peeps, and King -- this is the kind of turnaround we needed in the series. King being an absolute puppy, omg. More thoughts soon.

But this show keeps up with its vibe and reputation with that preview for episode 9, huh? YET ANOTHER GUY FOR UEA? Holy hell, he’s popular.

Anyway, I’m alive, dizzy, unpacking, in need of hydration, but so happy to be back home and to get back into the swing of things. OGMMTVC and Love Sick -- I missed you!

[ao3feed-kathony]

The Etsy Shop Around the Corner

read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/54733186 by fictionfrek101 Benedict Bridgerton is not ashamed of his Etsy shop, What's the Buzz? He just doesn't need his family to know most of his grocery money isn't coming from his "serious art" but rather kitschy baby shower invitation designs. Especially when Daphne unknowingly becomes his best customer. But when Daphne invites What's the Buzz to a gala celebrating local businesses who grow their customer base without nepotistic connections, Benedict is well and truly fucked. Sophie Beckett is a few quid short on her rent when she finds a Reddit post offering to pay a woman to attend a gala and pretend she runs an Etsy shop. After meeting the surprisingly handsome Etsy man, Sophie takes up the offer figuring what could even happen? Shenanigans and romance ensue. Words: 2525, Chapters: 1/7, Language: English Fandoms: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/M Characters: Sophie Beckett, Benedict Bridgerton, Simon Basset, Daphne Bridgerton, Anthony Bridgerton, Kate Sheffield | Kate Sharma Relationships: Sophie Beckett/Benedict Bridgerton, Simon Basset/Daphne Bridgerton, Anthony Bridgerton/Kate Sheffield | Kate Sharma Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bridgertons Being Bridgertons, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Falling In Love, Might get steamier later on read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/54733186

[grimmichi-ao3-feed]

[New AO3 Fic!] Seen But Not Heard

by MissMonie

Grimmjow’s bored which becomes Ichigo’s problem. Unfortunately for Grimmjow, Ichigo has errands to run in town. Rather than fetch his gigai, Grimmjow decides to tag along and harass Ichigo while he goes about town. Seems Grimmjow’s not the only one with that idea.

Words: 3278, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Bleach

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Grimmjow Jaegerjaques, Kurosaki Ichigo

Relationships: Grimmjow Jaegerjaques/Kurosaki Ichigo

Additional Tags: Gift Fic, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Established Relationship, But Don't Tell Grimmjow That, Idiots in Love, Grocery Shopping, Domestic Bliss, Fist Fights, Grimmjow Steals Panties, Misunderstanding Human Things, Grimmjow Jaegerjaques is a Little Shit, Romantic Comedy

Read it now on AO3!

[mysticorset]

Dream log:

A TMNT reboot pilot. Changes made included: Splinter is now a pair of twins (a boy and a girl), who are also teenagers, and in a rock band. Also Shredder is their dad who owns a grocery store. Also everyone is human. The turtles (who are human) try to impress the Splinters by poorly freestyling a song about math and doing parkour all over their dad's shop.

I mean, I have some notes for my subconscious about what constitutes a "reboot" but all in all, I think it's a solid base for some wacky teen hijinks storylines.

[andierhodes]

closed starter for @khalilhassan​​ at his place

“You’ll never guess what I got Carl for Valentine’s day!” Believe it or not, she put a lot of thought into the gift. And every penny was well worth the scowl on his face when she hid near the elevators as she watched him open it.

A bathroom plunger wrapped in a bag of hearts, with a little note attached reading: for the next time you’re full of shit, hope this helps. Happy Valentine’s Day, xoxo Khal.

 Every mean look he spared Khal after that, couldn’t have been better sculpted. “And by ‘I’, I mean YOU because yeah, I might’ve purchased and gift wrapped it but the card was signed from you. So, you’re welcome.”

It matters not how old she gets so long as her pranks and hijinks are still just as memorable as her presence itself. In life, you’re only as old as you feel, anyway. “By the way, did you know you’re out of milk?” Ever since the first time they met, when Andie unknowingly broke into his place, she’s come by routinely after that. Even helped herself to some of Khal’s things while he was off doing god only knows what in his spare time. From his sugar to his shampoo to the hammer she “borrowed” and never returned, what was once Khal’s had now become hers. “I think it’s time to go grocery shopping. You never know when a cereal thief will pop in unannounced because she’s hungry and craving a bowl. Somehow it tastes better when it comes from your pocket.”

[gloriabomfim]

Certainly! Here are the first nine montages set in daytime indoor places featuring Bumpy and his slapstick mishaps, along with titles, descriptions of the actions, and dialogue transcripts:

Montage 1: "Bumpy's Kitchen Chaos"

Setting: A messy kitchen.

Action: Bumpy tries to cook but accidentally spills flour all over himself.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy (covered in flour): "Cooking is a messy business!"

Montage 2: "Bumpy's Shopping Spree"

Setting: A busy supermarket.

Action: Bumpy goes grocery shopping but ends up causing a cart collision.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy: "I just wanted some snacks!"

Montage 3: "Bumpy's Office Oops"

Setting: A crowded office.

Action: Bumpy tries to deliver a message but trips and sends papers flying everywhere.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy (embarrassed): "Important message…somewhere in this mess."

Montage 4: "Bumpy's Elevator Escapade"

Setting: An office building elevator.

Action: Bumpy gets into the elevator but accidentally presses all the buttons.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy: "Taking the scenic route, I guess!"

Montage 5: "Bumpy's Gym Gaffes"

Setting: A fitness gym.

Action: Bumpy attempts to use exercise equipment but ends up tangled in resistance bands.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy: "Getting fit is a stretch!"

Montage 6: "Bumpy's Library Lament"

Setting: A quiet library.

Action: Bumpy tries to reach a high bookshelf but causes a book avalanche.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy (whispering loudly): "Quiet, they said… Sorry!"

Montage 7: "Bumpy's Arcade Adventure"

Setting: An arcade.

Action: Bumpy tries to play a video game but repeatedly bumps into the game cabinet.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy: "High score… for clumsiness!"

Montage 8: "Bumpy's Bowling Blunders"

Setting: A bowling alley.

Action: Bumpy attempts to bowl but sends the ball into the wrong lane.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy: "Bowling genius! Well, almost…"

Montage 9: "Bumpy's Museum Mishap"

Setting: An art museum.

Action: Bumpy tries to admire a painting but accidentally knocks it off the wall.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy (nervously): "Modern art, anyone?"

Feel free to let me know if you'd like to continue with the next set of montages or if you have any specific changes or additions in mind for these indoor scenes.

Certainly! Here are the next ten montages set in daytime indoor places featuring Bumpy and his slapstick mishaps, along with titles, descriptions of the actions, and dialogue transcripts:

Montage 10: "Bumpy's Museum Mayhem"

Setting: An art museum (again).

Action: Bumpy tries to admire another painting but accidentally triggers an alarm.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy (panicking): "I didn't touch it! Oops, maybe I did…"

Montage 11: "Bumpy's Dance Class Disaster"

Setting: A dance studio.

Action: Bumpy joins a dance class but ends up tripping over his own feet.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy: "Dance moves… or stumble moves?"

Montage 12: "Bumpy's Karaoke Catastrophe"

Setting: A karaoke bar.

Action: Bumpy sings karaoke but accidentally knocks over the microphone stand.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy: "Karaoke star… or just a starfall?"

Montage 13: "Bumpy's Office Outburst"

Setting: A busy office (again).

Action: Bumpy spills coffee on important documents during a meeting.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy (nervously): "Spreading coffee love, one paper at a time."

Montage 14: "Bumpy's Bowling Blunders Redux"

Setting: A bowling alley (again).

Action: Bumpy returns to the bowling alley but manages to slip on the lane.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy: "Bowling… with style!"

Montage 15: "Bumpy's Hotel Hijinks"

Setting: A fancy hotel lobby.

Action: Bumpy accidentally knocks over a luggage cart, creating chaos.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy: "Hotel guest… or luggage juggler?"

Montage 16: "Bumpy's Cooking Catastrophe Redux"

Setting: A different messy kitchen.

Action: Bumpy tries to cook again but sets off the smoke alarm.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy (coughing): "Master chef… of disasters."

Montage 17: "Bumpy's Toy Store Trouble"

Setting: A toy store.

Action: Bumpy tries to play with a remote-controlled car but loses control and crashes into a toy display.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy: "Remote control? More like no control!"

Montage 18: "Bumpy's Birthday Bash Blunders"

Setting: A birthday party.

Action: Bumpy attempts to light the candles on a cake but accidentally sets the tablecloth on fire.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy (panicking): "Happy… flaming birthday?"

Montage 19: "Bumpy's Yoga Yikes"

Setting: A yoga studio.

Action: Bumpy joins a yoga class but tangles himself in a yoga mat.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy: "Zen master… or yoga mat enthusiast?"

Feel free to let me know if you'd like to continue with the next set of montages or if you have any specific changes or additions in mind for these indoor scenes.

Certainly! Here are the final set of montages in daytime indoor places featuring Bumpy and his slapstick mishaps, along with titles, descriptions of the actions, and dialogue transcripts:

Montage 20: "Bumpy's Office Chair Capers"

Setting: An office.

Action: Bumpy tries to sit in a rolling office chair but accidentally sends himself rolling across the room.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy (spinning): "Office chair fun… or office chair runaway?"

Montage 21: "Bumpy's Dance Recital Redux"

Setting: A dance recital stage.

Action: Bumpy participates in a dance recital but ends up going the wrong way.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy: "Dance recital star… sort of."

Montage 22: "Bumpy's Arcade Ado"

Setting: An arcade (again).

Action: Bumpy tries his hand at an arcade game but accidentally unplugs it.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy: "Arcade pro… or arcade power breaker?"

Montage 23: "Bumpy's Hotel High Jinks Redux"

Setting: The same fancy hotel lobby (again).

Action: Bumpy returns to the hotel and gets entangled in a curtain.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy: "Curtain call… I didn't mean it!"

Montage 24: "Bumpy's Puppet Show Palaver"

Setting: A puppet theater.

Action: Bumpy joins a puppet show but gets his strings tangled with the puppet's.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy: "Master puppeteer… or just another puppet?"

Montage 25: "Bumpy's Ice Skating Icidents"

Setting: An ice skating rink.

Action: Bumpy attempts ice skating but continuously falls on the ice.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy: "Ice skater extraordinaire… on my back."

Montage 26: "Bumpy's Bakery Bungle"

Setting: A bakery.

Action: Bumpy visits a bakery but accidentally knocks over a tray of pastries.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy: "Bakery delight… on the floor!"

Montage 27: "Bumpy's Hospital Hiccups"

Setting: A hospital.

Action: Bumpy visits a friend but gets tangled in medical equipment.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy: "Visiting hours… and accident hours."

Montage 28: "Bumpy's DIY Disaster"

Setting: A home improvement store.

Action: Bumpy attempts to fix something but ends up knocking over a display of tools.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy: "Handyman Bumpy… or tool disaster?"

Montage 29: "Bumpy's Science Lab Shenanigans"

Setting: A science laboratory.

Action: Bumpy enters a lab but accidentally mixes chemicals, causing a minor explosion.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy: "Scientific breakthrough… or just a big bang?"

Montage 30: "Bumpy's Grand Finale Fumble"

Setting: A theater stage.

Action: Bumpy prepares for a performance but gets tangled in the stage curtains.

Dialogue Transcript: Bumpy: "The show must go on… once I escape!"

And there you have it, 30 humorous montages of Bumpy's daytime indoor misadventures. If you have any more requests or if there's anything else I can assist you with, please feel free to let me know!

[bluejay-writes]

A sort of Fairy Tail - Chapter 3

Rating: T / PG-13, SFW. Fandom: Mystic Messenger Relationships: 707/MC (Jaena)/Saeran Chapter 3 Wordcount: 2899 Summary:

Freelance Hacker by day, cosplayer by weekend, Jaena Grey was living her best life. One fateful convention, she meets a scarily talented fellow costumer and his friend Zen.

When Jaena finds herself embroiled in the usual Mint Eye apartment plot, Seven panics to see someone he knows. Hijinks ensue, including Jaena spending the majority of her time cosplaying as 707 in his own bunker to hide herself from Vanderwood - for better or worse.

You can also read this on AO3! <- Also a good place to check tags.

Chapter 3: Crafting 606

“So… you’re a long ways from Comic Con.” he said, once they were in his car, speeding away from the apartment.

“So are you.” She said, but relented. “I’m on vacation. Came to take a spring session at SKY University about Special Effects work and I’ve got two weeks left here for normal tourist bullshit before I go home.”

“Why just tell me all that?” He said, smirking.

“You’re a hacker. That’s all surface level, and you probably already knew it, or well assumed the latter based on flight dates.”

“Oof, ya got me.” He said, chuckling. “You seem familiar with the hacker life.”

“Did you think cosplay was my career?” She said, smirking.

“No. You’re not jaded enough to be a full time "content creator”, either. So… filthy rich, maybe?  Admittedly, I didn’t dig too deep into the mystery woman because, well, you’re you. I couldn’t just leave my cosplay buddy in a room with a bomb.” His eyes blew wide and he slapped a hand over his mouth.

“A bomb?” Jaena asked, raising an eyebrow, but trying to tamp down her reaction otherwise.

“Yeah. Rika made me set it up for information security, but… there’s probably something more than just guest information there if she wanted something like that.”

“Oh, fuck. I thought you were joking.” Jaena said, a chill running down her spine.

“I mean, I do that a lot, but… not about this. It’s why I dropped everything and came to get you. You’re just lucky I was out grocery shopping when you appeared in the chat. Hope you’re up for a decent car trip, we’re about an hour out from the bunker, if I speed.”

“Only speed when it’s fun.” Jaena said, and leaned her head back on the car seat. “Can we stop by my hotel for my things? Wait, are you kidnapping me? Should I be worried?”

“We can’t go now, I need to get back before Vanderwood realizes something’s up, but I’ll make time later tonight or tomorrow to drive you back there. And I guess you’re kinda being kidnapped? You already were, and now I’m holding onto you to keep you safe.”

“Oh, for real?” Jaena couldn’t help but channel her inner Chad. “That’s fine. Doesn’t change my plans at all. Might even save me money.”

“Honestly? I don’t know how you’re as calm as you are.” he said, shaking his head.

“Believe me, I’ll break down later, once I feel safe.” She said, sighing. “This is a lot. Not at all what I wanted from my vacation, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hope I’d run into you here.”

“Me? Why here?” he sounded confused, but a quick glance told her he was smirking.

“Well, you were with Zen that day and this is his hometown. Also I didn’t run into you again that entire con circuit so it was unlikely you were one of his ‘local’ friends or something. Besides, you mentioned customs about your Unbreakable costume.”

“Oh, you knew it was Zen, then?”

“Lucy did. She’s still mad that she didn’t manage to score his number.”

“Oh my god he has not stopped whining at me about blocking him.” Luciel laughed, and Jaena realized she really loved the sound of his laugh. “Maybe I can have you give his number to your girl, if she’s trustworthy and not likely to screw his career over.”

“Lord no, she’s the most respectful fan you’ll ever meet.” Jaena paused and then added “At least in public. I’m sure she’d disrespect the hell out of him in the bedroom.”

“You did not just say that!” Luciel crowed, smacking his hand against the steering wheel.

Jaena woke a little bit later, not realizing she’d fallen asleep until the sound of the phone ringing through the car speakers startled her awake.

Luciel turned and looked at her.

“Don’t say anything. Don’t breathe loud. Okay? I have to take this. It’s… work.”

Jaena nodded to show she understood, and laid her head back against the seat again, figuring that would make him more comfortable.

“What?” he said, after he’d tapped to accept the call.

“Zero Seven, where are you? That grocery run should have had you back here an hour ago, at the latest.”

“Sorry, Vandy, I ran into a friend at the store and we got to talking. You know how it is.”

“Don’t call me Vandy. And stop spending so much time with those RFA Nerds. I have to go make a house call. You’d better be home and working by the time I call you again.”

“I’m like ten minutes from home. I’ll get the job done tonight, just like I promised.”

“You damn well better.” The voice, ostensibly ‘Vandy’ seemed irritated, and the call cut.

“Sorry about that.” Luciel said after a minute. “The life of a hacker is trash.”

“Tell me about it.” Jaena said, with a roll of her eyes. “I was really looking forward to this vacation.”

Luciel eyed her. “I want to dig deeper into that statement but first I gotta handle this situation.”

“What situation?”

“Welp.” Luciel sighed. “I’m not supposed to have friends. Vandy tolerates the RFA because I work better with them around than I did before I started working with them, but…”

“The who?”

“Oh. That’s the chatroom you were in. I’ll give you the rundown on that once we’re settled at home, but. I’m definitely not supposed to bring a distractingly cute girl home. So.”

Jaena blinked. Distractingly Cute? Like, she was easy enough on the eyes, she supposed, but that was a nice compliment he’d paid her. Not that he gave her a chance to say anything before going on.

“I was thinking since you’re so good at cosplay…wanna just cosplay as me? See how long we can fool Vanderwood?”

“Uh. What’s the bad ending?” Jaena asked, immediately imagining herself in his current outfit.

“Well, worst case, Vanderwood thinks you’re an enemy plant and tases you.”

“Zap-dead or Zap-tingles-oh-god-ow?”

“The latter. He doesn’t kill unless he has to.”

“Well, then I think this is a hilarious plan and I’m into it. but do you have a you-wig? I don’t want to cut off my hair.”

“Yeah, well, cutting your gorgeous hair would earn me a fate worse than death. A tragedy. A travesty. The worst timeline.” Luciel said, grinning. “Oh. And you should get used to calling me Seven.”

“Seven?” She blinked. Zen had called him that, so had people in the chat. Also the agent.

“Well, technically I’m Agent 707 EXTREME.”

“…extreme?” She smirked at him. 

“I was twelve, cut me some slack.”

“Oof, that’s too young, babe.” she said, laughing, and had to think back on what she’d said when she realized he’d gone as red as his hair. “Oh. I. Um.” Now she was blushing. Great.

“It’s fine.” he said quietly, and she just let it pass.

“Okay.” He said, grinning like an idiot. “This is my cosplay cave.”

Jaena didn’t know what she was expecting when he led her down to yet a deeper basement, but a fully furnished entire floor walk-in closet full of (irritatingly well organized) cosplay paraphernalia was not it.

“Vanderwood doesn’t come down here, says it scares him, so I figure we’ll set you up a place to sleep and game or whatever.”

“First thing I’m going to do is see if I can’t track down Unknown.” Jaena said, her voice tense.

“Oho! Another hacker! I thought that’s what you were getting at earlier.” He slung an arm around her shoulders. “Maybe cosplaying God Seven is a perfect choice then.”

Jaena laughed, but it was somewhat forced. “I might need to stay in that chat room and pretend nothing’s different if we want to convince Unknown that I’m still in the apartment.”

“There are cameras, he already knows you’re gone. Besides, I said I was coming to get you.” Seven said, dropping his arm. “But you’re right that keeping you in the chat isn’t a bad idea. Hell, then I can chat with you even when Vanderwood is here. V seems convinced that Rika wanted this, which… fuck, I am going to have to explain everything about Rika and the RFA now.”

“Wait.” Jaena said, “One thing at a time. Let’s just get me back in the chat, and you can tell them you took me somewhere safe, and we’ll let them explain the way V wanted them to. Less work for you. More time for me to track Unknown without having to explain what I’m doing.”

“Alright. First thing’s first, turning you into me.” Seven walked over to the wall of wigs, and grabbed one that was in fact a perfect replica of his own hair, and handed it to her. “Caps and pins are by the mirror on that wall. I’ll be right back with my spare hoodie.”

Jaena didn’t take long to get her hair braided and up out of the way under the wig. Her own hair lent a bulk under the cap that actually made it look more like his messy hair than she expected. Next step was seeing if he had anything she could use to bind her chest. Sure, he wore loose fitting clothes, but not loose enough to hide her obvious feminine features. 

Strolling over to what looked like the complicated underpinnings section of his closet, Jaena was simultaneously surprised and confused to find binders in multiple colors and fabrics. Weirdo. She chuckled, carefully stripping off her shirt and bra, and settling herself into a binder with a sigh. It had been awhile since she’d worn one of these, but they always made her feel safe. Contained. Hidden.

Behind her, Seven cleared his throat. “You aren’t wearing a shirt.”

Jaena turned to look at the ginger, a pile of clothes in his hands, and a light blush on his cheeks. “Silly boy, You’ve seen me in less. In public.”

“It’s oddly different when you’re in my home, though.” He tossed her a shirt, and she carefully slipped it on. “Also I don’t know how we’re going to hide your hips. I hope my jeans actually fit you. They might be too big. I didn’t think about that…” Seven trailed off as Jaena shed her own jeans without a second thought for modesty.

Jaena shrugged. “People see what they want to see.” She held out her hand, and he held out the jeans. “Oh, these should be fine.” she said after a glance at the size tag.

Seven of course had turned away, red as a tomato at Jaena’s lack of concern with him seeing her in various states of undress. When he dared to turn back, Jaena was once again fully clothed. In his clothes. She held her hand out for the hoodie and slipped it on, noticing something clink together in the pocket.  When she pulled it out, she saw a set of contact lens bottles, with Seven’s gold color floating in them.

“They’re blanks. I don’t know if you wear actual contacts or anything, but…”

“Nope! I have a smidge of farsightedness, but nothing worth correcting.” Jaena said, as Seven directed her over to the cosplay bathroom. 

“I’ll have to move some things so you can use this as an actual bathroom… no shower down here, but you can use mine…”

Jaena tried not to smile at his rambling, while sliding lenses in her eyes. Some part of her knew he could have put something in the contact solution, but she doubted he would. He’d made a point of handing her sealed containers, after all. She turned back to him and he beckoned her out of the bathroom space.

“Do a little spin?” He gestured, and she did a little spin. 

“What do you think?”

“Well, you’re no 707, but…. 606 maybe.”

“Aw, what’s wrong?” Jaena looked herself over, pursing her lips.

“The voice, Scarlet.” he said, laughing. “So maybe don’t talk to Vanderwood. Or whisper?”

“Okay.” she whispered, and Seven wrapped her in his arms and spun her around. She laughed, his joy was contagious.

“Now, I have to work lest Vandy actually tase me intentionally.” he said, pouting. “Come upstairs, I’ll get you set up with a laptop while I get some things running.”

<707 entered the chat> <Jaena entered the chat> Yoosung★: They’re back! 707: Sorry for the delay, figured if we didn’t want an intruder in Rika’s apartment, and the intruder also didn’t want to be there, best bet was to get them out. V: I’d like to explain what we’re about, and what we’d like from you. Before I go.

Jaena watched as the chat explained, each in their own words, about the RFA and the parties they host, and what they’d hope she’d be willing to do. She hadn’t the heart to tell them that she was due to fly back home in two weeks. Maybe if this was something she could do from her condo, but…

V: And I have to run. Take good care of our new member, everyone. <V left the chat> Yoosung★: Just like that he’s gone, like he was never here. Jumin Han: He is a busy artist. Jaena: V’s departure aside, thank you for all of that. Also I’m sorry for being rude earlier. Jumin Han: Oh, it has manners. ZEN: It’s a she. Jumin Han: Still haven’t proven that to me. Jaehee Kang: Nice to have another woman around, Jaena. Yoosung★: Wait, Seven, so Jaena is definitely a girl? 707: Hey wait Jaena, can I….?

Seven’s voice echoed down the stairs, “They want to see pics. I have ones from con?”

Jaena wasn’t sure how that would help them believe she was a real person, but also she’d looked heckin good at that con, so there was no reason not to.

Jaena: I guess? 707: [shot of Jaena as Erza, as he met her] Yoosung★: Seven… that’s just you in cosplay. ZEN: Seven, that’s just that girl you were crushing on last comic con. Jaena: …crushing on? ZEN: Oh yeah. Seven met this girl and hasn’t stopped talking about her basically since. Yoosung★: Oh yeah! His perfect Scarlet! 707: omg guys can you not… Jaena: Perfect Scarlet, eh Seven? 707: Oh no 707: uh 707: [Depressed Emoji] Yoosung★: omg is it actually her ZEN: WHAT?! ZEN: [Shocked Emoji] Jaena: I can’t send photos on this chat, but…

Jaena’s cheeks were hot, but she knew if she didn’t make herself look like a real person in their eyes they were going to disbelieve in her very existence.  She bit her lip as she flipped through her selfies and grabbed one of the ones she’d taken to prove to Lucy that she was alive, and sent it to Seven’s number from her real phone, which had multimedia messaging still enabled, unlike the thing that was practically a brick with a messenger attached.

Yoosung★: Seven make it so she can send us pics! 707: Oh, she sent me one from her actual phone. Here, current Jaena. 707: [Selfie of Jaena with Boba on SKY campus] Yoosung★: Hey that’s my school! Jaena: I was auditing a class there this last semester. Too bad we never ran into each other! ZEN: Seven would have been jealous. Jaena: Anyway that’s me. Sorry for dropping in on your chat like this. Jaena: Or I guess, getting kidnapped into your chat for some reason. Jaehee Kang: That is concerning. Jaena: Don’t worry, I’m not kidnapped anymore, I think. ZEN: Seven, you aren’t pranking us, right? ZEN: You weren’t Unknown, were you? 707: I am not Unknown. 707: I am grateful to him for bringing my Scarlet to me though! 707: [Heart Eyes Emoji] Jaehee Kang: I have too much work to do for whatever this chat is turning into. Jaehee Kang: Jaena, do reach out if you need some girl talk, though. Jaena: Back at you! Jumin Han: Yes, I too am going to excuse myself. <Jumin Han left the chat> <Jaehee Kang left the chat> ZEN: No offer of girl talk from Jumin, though, I see. Yoosung★: Wait, does that mean Seven has a girlfriend now? Jaena: Whoa whoa whoa Jaena: Nothing like that. 707: We’re friends though 707: We’re having soft tacos later. Jaena: ok catbug 707: nyaaa ZEN: NO CATS.  ZEN: I’m leaving. ZEN: But not because of you, Jaena. <ZEN left the chat> Yoosung★: I have to go too, the land of LOLOL is calling. <Yoosung★ left the chat> Jaena: Well, that was an abrupt end to a hectic conversation. 707: We don’t think it be like that, but it do. 707: I gotta work. You gotta work. Text if you need something. Jaena: Yes, sir! Perfect Scarlet, signing off. <Jaena has left the chat> 707: God help me, I’m never going to live that down. <707 has left the chat>

Later, sitting on her makeshift bed on the floor of the fancy-dresses section, Jaena stared at the image on the screen.  She’d managed to hack into surveillance cameras near where she’d been when she ran into Unknown.  Either he was cocky, or he was an idiot.  She’d managed to get a shot of his face from the nearby bank’s camera.

“Hey, Scarlet.” Seven said from the bottom of the stairs.

“Hey, Seven.” she said, not tearing her eyes from the screen. “Do you have a twin?”

[scary-senpai]

I saw the “first ten lines” game making the rounds and I felt like I deserved a treat.

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.

I’m not tagging anyone but if you see this and you are so inspired, I’d be curious to read yours so feel free to DM or tag me even though I’ve already gone

1. When Saitama returned home from grocery shopping, he found his front yard looking significantly different from the way he had left it.

Fic: Holiday Hijinks

Fandom: One Punch Man.

Genre: Promptfic / Comedy of Errors.

2. “If you’re going to wear my clothes, at least wear them properly.”

Fic: everything’s pushing up daisies

Fandom: jujutsu kaisen

Genre: Promptfic / comedy of errors / flowershop + mafia AU

3. “…Garou?”

Fic: Collateral Damage

Fandom: One Punch Man

Genre: angst, cut with some dark humor because Charanko and Garou have like one brain cell between them when it comes to handling emotional situations with tact

4. How stupid he was, to grieve a scar of all things.

Fic: scars

Fandom: One Punch Man

Genre: angst, character study of Garou and Garou’s mom

5. You wake up with a stuffy nose, and the vague sensation of being watched.

Fic: Trolling for Soup

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Genre: humor, sfw sickfic (Gojo Satoru x Reader because I have a thing for white haired gremlin anime men)

6. Around 11:30am, Garou woke up because he was cold.

spoiler alert: he is cold because Saitama stole all his blankets to make a blanket fort.

Fic: I’m not that guy

Fandom: one punch man

Genre: comedy of errors, crack treated seriously, light angst bc my only superpower is existential angst it’s not abandoned but sometimes I look at it and think “bitch you wrote what???”

7. The wind whistled down the deserted alleyway, scattering trash in all directions.

Fic: “I knocked him unconscious, can I keep him?”

Fandom: one punch man

Genre: comedy

Aka the “Who put Garou on that pile of trash bags? And why is their garbage so heckin' tidy?” Fic spoiler alert: it was Saitama

8. “For the last time, did you put glitter in Bakugo’s cannons?”

Although my favorite line is probably the one in the ao3 summary (“Garou, every time you break into my house that is literally trespassing.” “No, Mr. Aizawa, that is literally Plus Ultra.”) it continues to be one of my favorite jokes I’ve ever written..

Fic: be the trouble you wish to see in the world

Fandom: one punch man / my hero academia crossover aka Garou is the first Quirkless student accepted by the Hero Department, and coincidentally the most mischievous student U.A. has ever seen.

Genre: comedy of errors

9. “Hold this.”

Fic: …and that was the Hero Association’s First (and Final) Festivus

Fandom: one punch man

Genre: comedy of errors, Promptfic, Drabble (kind of—4 chapters x 250 words each)

10. There are many Christmas monsters.

Fic: my favorite Christmas tradition is werewolves

Fandom: one punch man

Genre: comedy, drabble , Promptfic, I guess maybe you could say parody but more like what I feel to be a truly honest representative of the kind of homework assignments Garou turned in during primary school

[angels0fpride]

STORY TIEM YIPPIEEEEEE- im still working on chap 1 but heres what i gots so far (nothing fantastical yet just her day is just Wrong) (i may have projected a bit with the tism)

Beatrice was honest to goodness done with this day and might just scream if one more thing took her off the mental plan she had.

In a perfect world, where nobody looked at her twice and tea was a crisp dollar and nothing more, she would've gotten up, fixed her and her sisters breakfast, headed to work, ate the same egg salad sandwich she always had for lunch, had her smoke break at 4 pm, clocked out at a rounded 8 pm, got groceries at Ms. Nina's and went home. Nothing getting in the way, nothing taking her off her predetermined path. A perfect day with planned and controlled chaos at her desk. Clients and coworkers, she could handle. She could control. But no. No, no, no, dear Beatrice! Everything MUST go wrong! She woke up five minutes before her alarm, Jasmine left three minutes before she normally did, hell even the traffic went by quicker!

She was done with work at 7:58. The feeling of ants and centipedes crawling under her skin and borrowing into her veins grew worse.

The jot to Ms. Nina's gave her time to recollect her thoughts, at least. She was an elderly woman, and had an accent that Beatrice couldn't place. When Beatrice had stumbled in years ago, soaked and seeking solace from the pouring rain of hurricane season, the lady looked her up and down and sat Beatrice down with a hot cup of black tea. A just-turned 18 year old Beatrice, who hadn't been shown much kindness up to that point, accidentally made the tea more salty tears than something drinkable. Ms. Nina was punctual, she was a constant, Beatrice knew that at least she would validate the itching in the back of her skull about everything being wrong today.

Her heart sank as she rounded the corner that led to the cheery red and gold colored shop.

The lights were off and the doors were locked. Beatrice checked. Once, twice, thrice. Tears prickled at her eyes as the conversation they had weeks ago sprung into her head.

At the time, it was early in the morning on a weekend, and Beatrice was sweating buckets in the summer sun. She adored helping Ms. Nina but oy vey, she hated the way her shirt clung to her back. She was fixing up the sign in front of the woman's shop, trying to do the delicate tango of keeping her glasses on her face while sweat made it's mission for them to slip off. Eventually, the LEDs sparked back to life and Ms. Nina invited her inside to cool off and have some tea with crackers. While they were idly talking, the older lady told her that her younger sister had her first great-grandchild so she would be out of town for a week or two.

Lord forgive her language but at that moment Beatrice wouldn't help but swear. It was a quiet thing, just a simple and small, "Fuck." But her soul still ached. The prickling feeling followed her home, followed her taking off the off-brand oxfords she was attached to, followed her taking out the pins and such that held back her mane of a mullet, and continued to stab into her spinal cord as she started boiling some pasta for supper. Jasmine and May weren't back. At least that was normal. At least her sisters brand of unknown hijinks were known. Beatrice would predict them, which meant she could control them. A mild respite for how horrible the day had been.

A meow that sounded more like a chronic smoker's snapped Beatrice out of watching the water boil. Gertrude was an impulse adoption. Freshly 18, no money and living in May's corpse of a car, the sisters had found the old girl half starved and being picked on by some little kids. Feeling sympathy and commodory, they scared off the little demons while Jasmine used what little first aid supplies they had to patch her up. Regularly the girls would sacrifice going hungry just so Gertrude could eat a bit more but now that the three brought in some money? The little lady was practically spoilt and unofficial queen of the household.

Even between the three, Beatrice and Gertrude had a special bond. The woman sat down on the kitchen floor so Gertrude could climb in her lap

So you wanna read the wip first chap of this thingy im writing?

Tldr; i read the Zodiac Academy (horrendous book series no joke), liked some of the concepts, and figured "huh i can do better." So now its gonna be ab this gals rise to be queen :3 mc gots that autistic swag (first chap is legit her having a sensory meltdown lol) and later on gets this pathetic lil guy as a love interest

Oh boy story time!

[pepperdee]

fun fact: four hours of sleep a night and half a meal a day for two weeks is not Good

[xaphrin]

@bluboothalassophile​ I have been working off and on, on a soft JayRae story! The premise is that Raven lives in a sentient bookshop that is trying desperately to get Raven and Jason to fall for each other. Hijinks ensue. I have the first part below (unedited). 

And, I am hoping to have a few adult pieces on my birthday in three days! Unfortunately, I won’t have an avalanche of adult nonsense like in years past, but I am aiming for at least a few! ❤

- - - 

Clusterhug

Jason had likely walked this route to his apartment a hundred times before, and yet somehow this was the first time he saw the bookshop. It was a slender and dark building - almost tilted, and wedged a little ways back in what he thought was an alley, but must have been some kind of slithering entrance. The other buildings that surrounded the bookshop were tall and stately, displaying shiny brass historical placards, but this little place seemed almost like an orphan, begging for someone to save it.   

He stood there for a few moments, the freezing rain pouring down on him as he gripped his canvas grocery bag. He wasn’t sure why he was pausing, but something kept drawing him closer to that narrowed, dark entrance lined with strings of dim bulbs. He glanced back down the near-empty street for just a moment, and made the decision to enter. He had learned a while ago that his gut was probably right, so if it wanted him to check out the shop, he would.  

With a quiet huff, he stepped down the cobblestone alleyway and up to the front of the shop. The windows were dingy and caked with dirt from the city, but they still emitted a soft, warm glow that banished the shadows around the entrance. It was… welcoming. Almost homey.  

An unusual sense of caution filled his chest, and Jason opened the creaky door and stepped inside the space. Warmth and comfort settled over him, and he glanced around the shop, taking in the tight rows of neatly arranged books - both used and new. He stepped up to one of the shelves and read the spines with curiosity. 

“Good afternoon- oh.”

Jason lifted his head and felt his stomach drop into his stomach as he saw the owner approach him. He would have recognized that face anywhere - the wide, dark eyes and soft, full lips. His heart did something strange in his chest, which was a feeling he got whenever he saw Raven. Even if he hadn’t seen her in a few years. 

“Raven.” He blinked and shifted, looking around the space again. 

Her smile was thin, almost shy, and she gave a polite nod. “Jason.” 

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, leaning back on his heels as his stare returned to her face. “I didn’t realize you were in Gotham. Dick didn’t mention anything last time I saw him.”

“I figured.” She gave a small shrug, but her expression looked somewhere between hurt and strained. “I sent him a text a few months ago, but with everything going on in his life, I suppose tracking my movements around the country is low on his list. I’ve been here a while.” She moved to straighten a book, as if she needed something to do with her hands. “I’m surprised you managed to find the shop, it’s… a little out of the way for most people. And, I didn’t know you were in the neighborhood.”  

There was a long pause, and the shop seemed to shift around them as if the walls were expanding and contracting in a subtle, but curious movement. Jason could feel something heavy and strange settle in his stomach at the gentle creaking, but it didn’t feel unwelcome. No, it just felt like someone was watching him intently and with excitement. Considering Raven the magic user she was, he chose not to dwell on it too much. It was probably the hard wind outside anyway. 

“Rent is cheap here.” He paused by a small table advertising a local author, and glanced over the cover, shrugging. “I like to rely as little on Bats as possible. We… don’t always see things in the same light and it causes us to butt heads more than I think either of us care to admit.”

Her expression remained unchanged. “Understandable.” 

“I thought you were still with the Titans.” He looked over at her again. “You know, off saving the world from things the JLA forgets or whatever.”

She shrugged and shook her head. “There were too many changes happening. I needed… stability, something regular and expected.” 

“A bookshop is definitely regular.” He paused and let himself memorize her. It had been a few years since he’d talked with her, and she was just as beautiful. It almost hurt to look at her. “And I’m sure it’s probably quiet. Although, I’m surprised you didn’t start some kind of dark divination or sorcery-for-hire. I’m sure there are all kinds of rich idiots begging for some find of magic fix to something they created.”

Raven let go of a small, quiet laugh, and tilted her head to the side, her ponytail falling over her shoulder. “Mm. That’s on the second floor. It pays a little better than books, but you have to know what to ask for. Magic is an art, not a precise science.” 

Jason chuckled, and he felt the room shift around them again. He lifted his eyes to the ceiling, looking for a crack in the ceiling or a beam out of place. Nothing. It looked normal and sturdy. Huh. Weird.  

“Sorry. Old pipes. The walls don’t always agree with the cold weather.” She slammed a heavy book on the checkout counter and forced an awkward smile. “I’ll get around to fixing it eventually.”

Okay… Jason didn’t really buy that, but he also knew better than to press the issue. Something was obviously irritating Raven, he just hoped it wasn’t him. His hand wrapped around a copy of a book that looked interesting and he walked up to the register. “Care to ring me up?”

Her smile turned genuine, and Jason felt his heart turn over in his chest. If he was honest with himself, he’d been harboring a small, secret crush on her since they were teenagers, and even though their lives had gone in wildly differing directions, that spark was still there. Seeing her appear in his life again just made him remember how much he genuinely liked her. And his list of people he genuinely liked was short.  

Raven rang him up and handed him a bookmark with her information on it. “Feel free to stop by if you’re in the area again. It would be nice to have coffee and catch up.”

His heart skipped a beat and Jason forced himself to remain calm. The last thing he needed was to have Raven see him grinning like an idiot. He shrugged and tucked the book in his grocery bag. “Yeah. I’ll probably see you around.”

She smirked and leaned against the counter. “And if you need any dark divination, hit me up.”

Jason laughed again, his whole body feeling light at her teasing. He gave a one-shouldered shrug and moved towards the door. It seemed to stick a little as he opened it, as if something was trying to keep him inside. That was a ridiculous thought. It was just because of the weather outside. Jason’s eyebrows knitted together and he finally managed to open the door, stepping onto the pathway leading to the shop. 

“I promise not to be a stranger.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” 

[rosethornewrites]

10/27-11/7 T & G reading

The usual

Finished

Teen:

凼仔鱼 Dàngzǐ yú, by Moonpuddles

It did not take long for Lan Wangji to figure out his rhythm in the new life he started with Wei Ying. That warm autumnal evening where they left the past behind and set off to their quaint little cottage, is like a picture in his mind, never to fade away.

It was everything he wanted in his dreams, Wei Ying had said, genuine happiness behind his eyes. A dainty, recluse little world of their own, somewhere Wei Ying could farm and hunt, and Lan Wangji could weave and prepare meals for them.

Gentians of Yesterday, by KobaltBlu (18 chapters)

The tiny boy rolled over, shrinking away from Lan Xichen’s hand.

“I c-can’t feel my legs-s-s.” he whispered, tears running down his face.

Lan Zhan turned to his uncle. “Uncle, we can’t leave him here, he saved me from the dogs.”

Lan Quiren looked like he had swallowed something really sour. The boy’s face reminded him of someone. Who, he couldn’t tell.

Or, Wei Ying is paralyzed when he meets Lan Zhan in Yilling, and is taken in by the Lans.

Hijinks ensue.

Alternative Choices, by StarClearWaters (Readoutloud) (3 chapters)

Lan Xichen does not think himself a man who is easily angered. He is not a man that can easily be made to hate, but as he looks at the mutilated body of his baby brother, he can not help but wish more than an eternity of horrible reincarnations for Wei Wuxian, who had used and ignored his brother so cruelly.

Whatever it takes, by Moonlit_dewdrops (35 chapters)

Jiang Cheng and Wei WuXian are sent back to the past. This time, they can save everyone they love. They can make the right choices. They can learn to trust one another. However, everything comes with a price.

The Hero, by mondengel

A-Yuan knows exactly how to spot a hero.

you are home when tea is served, by neozeka

Day 2 - A+ Parenting

Lan Qiren contemplates the two children he's failed, and a third that someone else failed

or: bonding over tea

hello stranger, I'm a disaster, by spicecandy

The man looks downright embarrassed now, ducking his head and running his fingers through the hair escaping from his high ponytail. “I –er– may have destroyed my sister’s wedding cake? Just the top few tiers! It wasn’t even my fault, Jiang Cheng told me he had it and –”

Lan Zhan interrupts him, something else he’s not in the habit of doing but he feels the situation demands it, the man poised to continue babbling incoherently despite his earlier urgency, “Do you have a picture?”

~

Wei Ying has a baking emergency. Luckily Lan Zhan is there to help.

General:

Moment in Time, by souein

Sometimes it takes time to finally confess to the love of your life. But sometimes the time itself refuses to wait.

or, Lan Zhan travels back in time appearing in a body of his younger self. He has but a moment in time to say the most important words.

No, Wei Wuxian, You Cannot Divorce A Man You Haven't Married Yet!, by stiltonbasket (6 chapters)

"Have you heard? The second young mistress of Yunmeng Jiang broke her troth with Hanguang-jun and ran off to the Burial Mounds with Wen Qionglin!"

"Ah, poor Lan-er-gongzi. Breaking her sister's engagement wasn't enough for Wei-guniang, she had to betray her own intended!"

In which Wei Wuxian ditches the cultivation world, Lan Wangji goes grocery shopping, Lan Sizhui narrates his parents' love story, and Nie Huaisang is the only one who knows what's really going on. Prompt fic!

haply, the river of time, by stiltonbasket (46th in a series)

“Lan-bao was born in the last wood boar year,” Wei Wuxian said slowly, “and the healers guessed her birth must have fallen sometime in the middle of guiyue. The twenty-fourth is a lucky day for boars, so her birthday should be the twenty-fourth of the osmanthus month. What do you think, Lan Zhan?”

“En, it is a good day. And the twenty-fourth is a little more than a month away, so it will give us time to prepare.”

Or: in the autumn of Wei Wuxian’s twenty-seventh year, he and Lan Zhan hold their very first zhuazhou for their small daughter, A-Lan.

Blankets, by handwritten (onefromanotherworld)

A soft weekend afternoon at the Wangxian household.

a seed planted., by cop_ulate (2nd in a series)

wwx and jl speak. a relationship is repaired.

water under the bridge., by cop_ulate (3rd in a series)

jiang cheng goes to yell at wei wuxian. it ends very differently.

bury it with soil., by cop_ulate (4th in a series)

Wei Wuxian had never hated Nie Huisang. Nie Huisang had never thought of Wei Wuxian as anything but a friend.

rain from the clouds., by cop_ulate (5th in a series)

Lan Xichen apologizes and makes a new friend.

a new flower blooms., by cop_ulate (6th in a series)

wei wuxian and lan wangji are soulmates. there are hiccups along their journey, but they know, it has always been them.

searching for rest, by littledust

At dawn, Lan Wangji exits his guest room in Golden Carp Tower. Staying in his room until the banquet will guarantee him solace--and that is precisely the problem. He saw Wei Ying arrive yesterday, his cheeks hollow despite his sun-browned skin. Sailing from his beloved Lotus Pier, down the river he surely knows as well as the Jiang sword forms, was not enough to grant him peace. The tips of Lan Wangji's fingers ache with the desire to play Rest for Wei Ying.

On the methods of growing a (new) golden core, by DamieMontclair

Day 25: Cultivation – Wei Wuxian

When Wei Wuxian had left Lan Zhan on that cliff, he had been determined to return with at least a decent golden core to show for it.

Unfinished

Teen:

Alternate Headcanons, by nirejseki

Random assortment of MDZS ficlets in response to a request for prompts for alternate headcanons for characters

Instead, by apathyinreverie

Wei Ying is found by someone other than Wen Chao after the Core transfer.

Or, the one where Wei Ying is never thrown into the Burial Mounds, never invents demonic cultivation. He still manages to become the lynchpin of the Sunshot Campaign anyway.

You Double-faced Entendre, by pink-lotus-pods (Waterlogged_fireflies)

"Wei Wuxian! You will be charged-"

“First of all, my name is Yuandao, and second of all, you aren't a judge, but you’re the one who’s got me tied up like a chicken! Let me go, damn it, I need to get back to my chickens and my farm!” Yuandao struggled violently, but the thin, golden ropes were a lot stronger than they looked.

The man in gold on the frankly, tastelessly ostentatious throne spluttered, turning the same colour as the cauliflower that he liked to put in his stews.

“Wow. You were right, he really doesn’t remember.” A man built like a mountain whistled, his face twisted into something that looked like amusement. “Either that, or he’s a world class actor.”

“For the last time, I’m just a farmer!”

-

Or, an amnesiac Wei Wuxian wakes up, gets himself a new family and is immediately roped into a political schism, EXACTLY in that order. He is very unhappy about having his cottagecore life uprooted.

Duet, by ChalionKat

"Who is it they want me to duet with?”

“No,” Lan Wangji said.

Unsurprisingly, this did not close the conversation. Xichen followed him into the rehearsal room.

“Wangji, you need to do something. Your sales have been solid until now, but never spectacular, and now they’re declining. The label is concerned. They’re threatening to pull funding unless you do something to bring in new audiences.”

“To ‘sex myself up’, you mean,” Lan Wangji said, not even attempting to hide his distaste.

Sunlight On A Broken Column, by LaivineNinuiel (2nd in a series)

Before him, Jiang Wanyin stares at him as if he had just spoken profanely, and his mouth is slightly agape when he pushes himself out of his seat. What follows, unsurprisingly, is anger. “You wouldn’t dare,” he hisses. When Lan Wangji is about to state that he certainly would, Jiang Wanyin continues, “If such a thing were to happen, you can ask him the right way, or not at all!”

He blinks.

Then, he feels his ears start burning.

Ignoring the elevated pace at which his heart thumps against his chest, he takes his indignation and pours it into the gaze he levels Jiang Wanyin with. “As a disciple—”

“No,” is the brusque interruption. “If he is to be a disciple, it will be of the Jiang sect, where he belongs.”

When minor clans put forth a petition to the Chief Cultivator to deliver the Yiling Laozu to be tried for his continued demonic cultivation activity—with a not-so-friendly addition that demands verification for Lady Jiang’s resurrection—Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji butt heads over how best to protect Wei Wuxian from such unwanted accusations.

Truths Laid Bare For All, by Preludian_Staves

The betrothal letter comes in the Springtime with a Lan escort, changing how events happen in Wei Wuxian's life.

AKA Wangxian meets early before the Cloud Recesses lectures and slowly starts moderately sooner, some things change and others stay moderately the same. Plus WWX flourishing under the tutelage of the Lans when there isn't prickly Heir or his equally prickly mother lurking around that needs near constant appeasement and a truth serum is involved somewhere in the course of things.

Debts to be repaid, by marhikit

“The cultivation world had turned its back on you, Wei-xiong, Hanguang-Jun had to leave because the lonely path is something he cannot join you in. I admit I am a coward who does not want to be ostracised more than I already am, your brother had abandoned you, even your precious Shijie left you to marry—”

“I get it, Huaisang!” It hurt to hear all this coming from his best friend, it hurt having to confront these truths and betrayals.

“What do you want me to do?” Wei Wuxian asked. “Your supplies could only last us for so long, and what then?”

“Which is why I’ll distract everyone for you. I’ll start a fire big enough to burn the whole place, make everyone think you burned yourself to the ground. I’ll erase your existence so long as you escape.”

“Why are you doing this, Nie-xiong? If they learn you helped me escape, you’ll be tried for treason!”

“I can’t be useless forever,” Nie Huaisang said, “not when my best friend could die the moment you take a step towards Lanling.”

-----

NHS helps WWX escape from the Burial Mounds with the Dafan Wens, this leads to WWX ending up as the advisor of a datu eight years down the line.

Instead, by apathyinreverie

Wei Ying is found by someone other than Wen Chao after the Core transfer.

Or, the one where Wei Ying is never thrown into the Burial Mounds, never invents demonic cultivation. He still manages to become the lynchpin of the Sunshot Campaign anyway.

Re-Invent, by eskaypee96

When she assisted with the nursing stations during the Sunshot campaign, she was often the last person many people spoke to as they succumbed to their wounds. They often called out to their mother, father, sibling, friends… they called out their regrets and how they wished they did better. Everyone had regrets in the end. But Jiang Yanli… Jiang Yanli knew nothing but regrets.

Jiang Yanli begs for another chance.... and she gets it? When do things go her way, ever?

General:

Pulled Against the Grain, by youleeyeah

“We found him walking injured just outside the Jingshi. He said-” Sizhui paused for a moment and then lowered his voice before continuing, “he said it was Young Master Jin who did this.” The boy couldn't look into Lan Wangji’s eyes as he spoke and turned his head to the side.

“You know,” Wei Wuxian started again after the pain subsided a tiny amount, “if I had my old body, I could've had intestines falling out of my gut and I’d still be able to fight for a few more hours.”

Lan Wangji furrowed his brows.

He has heard this before.

-----

Wei Wuxian wakes up in Gusu with a fresh stab wound he claimed was caused by Jin Ling. Lan Wangji is confused because the last time that happened was three years ago. Something is wrong with Wei Wuxian.

Lies and Truth, by parodismal

What happen if Lan Wangji decided to actually check Qiongqi Path after Wei Wuxian leave?

....

It leads to a domino effect towards a new Chief Cultivator

Is it a better?

Or worse?