#grian is an asshole in this au and I love him

[traffrogers]

double life au where scar and pearl are besties ft. grian angst

i made a post about the process you can read it here

[frozenjokes]

i continued being unable to sleep so i continued shoving as much of your writing into my brain as possible, by which i mean i just read alllll of the mumbomaid au pretty much at once and am being Normal about it

i love them all, i love all of them so much, i'm very invested in their shenanigans, i love how almost nobody understands gender and they all misunderstand it differently

i am ALSO aro in the "no i don't have feelings for anybody, yes i would date basically any of my friends" way and everything surrounding scar's aromanticism is so well done, i kept being soo exasperated with grian and the like. the incredibly allo misunderstanding of aromanticism, and not listening when scar and cleo try to tell him he doesn't get it, i have friends i've had almost those exact conversations with (but slightly less messy because of varyious factors including but not limited to Not Being Desert Duo, Thank Fuck) just ajfhdjdhjshdjfsk

also also i love textbook monsterfucker scar and i'm convinced bdubs thinks etho grew up in a cult or some shit (i'm throwing words at this ask box like spaghetti)

anyway uh. i'm probably gonna keep wanting to say words about your fics as i keep reading them and the ao3 comment section scares me so. i will probably be back, feel free to tell me to buzz off if this is not a preferred communication method

-guy that said mapleshade=p!scar (maplescar? scarpleshade? there's gotta be something here, did i mention the sleep deprivation sorry if this is all insane rambling lmao)

maplescar is a really cool tortie kitty name I like that a lot. maplescar would go crazy. ALSO PLEASE KEEP SAYING WORDS!!!!! say words FORWVER!!!! spam my ao3 comments and I will respond to them 9/10 ten times!!!!!!! I love talking I love when people talk to me THANK YOU!!!!!! you could send me an ask every single time you finish a chapter and I would kiss you on the lips each time but my followers might be killing you with hammers so. Pick your poison.

yeah my favorite part of mumbomaid is that no one knows what a gender is and they misunderstand in all different ways you put it 100% perfectly. I also find Grian to be frustrating but he’s also a vessel to explore More Feelings and in his defense a little outside of complicated aro/allo interactions scar is a bit of an asshole. They are both assholes. Two guys they Will have their cake and they Will eat it too and they are exploding because of it. I too thank god every day I am not desert duo I! hate them. Generally though I do not feel bitter about allo misunderstandings of aromanticism because I spent 21 years of my life also not understanding. Which. Is the fault of a normative society. However. It is deeply difficult to understand the internal experience of someone who functions differently than you on a chemical level. This is a bit of a tangent but my mom and I’s ability to communicate has been drastically improved by the acceptance that I am autistic. She sees me and we reflect on my life together and it makes Sense that the way I experience the world is Different so whenever we talk about something my mom doesn’t understand in relation to me her mind is so open because she knows my perception of the world is not the same as hers. neurodivergence isn’t entirely related to queerness but it has genuinely opened up so many doors for our communication. she goes aromantic? oh yeah that makes sense. I think she catalogs it with the autism which is correct because to me autism and Every Other Way I Experience The World is related. This is say I have a very amusing experience with one of my trans friends where he was like: …so you’ve never questioned your gender,,, like…. Ever..? and I said nope. and he like couldn’t believe me. He did obviously but it’s the idea that our experiences are so integral to the people we are that it’s extremely difficult to imagine it any other way. can you tell I’m a psych major yet. what was I talking about.

I haven’t thought of exactly what bdubs thinks about etho’s past but it’s probably something like that. Deep down, it doesn’t really matter. Bdubs just wants to protect him. He’s so worried, but he just wants etho to feel safe.

lightly suggestive under the cut bc I talk about the monster fucking a little bit and I don’t know your age/if my elaboration is unwarranted I’m just talking. I’m here for a silly time not a sexy one.

monsterfucker scar is dear to me. extremely important. Grian will never be able to do to him the, frankly, deranged things he fantasizes about. they can try but the mood is going to be ruined when scar is like :( your tentacle dick isn’t real. and Grian is going to sigh with his dumbfuck strap and the blue curtains and lights they hung up to make it look like they were underwater. Their entire experience in the bedroom is going to be a series of extremely comedic extremely unfortunate events to make up for the fact that scar is never getting any fish pussy 😔 scar will be put off the mood because Grian just isn’t Convicning enough like COME ON if I don’t believe I’m going to die THEN what’s THE POINT??????? their home life is just increasingly deranged. grian has accepted that he will never be able to compete with the horrors of the ocean and you may think that’s a ‘but he’s still a little jealous though..’ but he’s not. He’s accepted it. Full acceptance. The kind of worn down you get from fishing for a mending book for weeks on end but without the agony and more just. Amused. goodtimeswithscar is going to die young and by drowning but you’d better believe he’ll do it in ecstasy.

[made-nondescript]

hooked on ur redscape superhero au would love to hear any other ideas u had for them. they are so silly <3 everyones sideeyeing mumbo like uh huh. hm. thats so weird anyway...

HI yes I've been thinking about it on and off all day LOL

It starts so fanfiction meet-cute. Poor overworked Mumbo who would never have any time for romance in his life has everything turned on its head when one day when walking back from work he's caught in the middle of a horrible villain attack. Not just that -- he's captured! Briefly, of course, before Hotguy rescues him.

Mumbo just about dies, right then and there. How pathetic would that have been? Has it really been that long since someone held him? (Yes. It has.)

When Hotguy sets him down he does his typical pull down of his glasses to give Mumbo a little wink and Mumbo almost faints, missing the look of genuine intrigue and affection on Hotguy's face.

Naturally, Mumbo becomes immediately and deeply infatuated with him. Hotguy symbolizes a fantastical escape from Mumbo's kinda shit life. His hours are long, his work isn't that fulfilling, and his roommate is LOUD and back at weird hours of the night, always bumping into things and waking him up. In his head, he lets Hotguy steal him away from that all....

Mumbo obviously thinks he's delusional for this. Hotguy does NOT think about him, because he's just some frazzled student who could hardly say thank you to the guy! But he gets to be a bit parasocial, as a treat. At least until his lease is up.

But Scar does think of him -- a lot. A cringe amount, for a superhero. It's inevitable they run into each other again and Hotguy offers to walk him home. From that moment forward it's over for both of them.

The decision to keep their eventual relationship private is a mutual one -- Scar doesn't want to subject Mumbo to that kind of press, nor does Mumbo really want to deal with it. Of course -- Mumbo emphasizes -- Scar would be worth it, but he would rather not.

A bit torn on where Grian is in this. He's either Cuteguy/another hero, or an extremely hero-critical reporter. Either way, he's definitely Mumbo's roommate who Mumbo is desperate to keep his fantasies/relationship private from.

There's a Mumscarian path here, too. If Grian is Cuteguy, he starts bothering Mumbo as Cuteguy to try and scare him off of Hotguy in an effort to keep Scar somewhat focused on his job. If he is a reporter, he wants to use his roommate's apparent relationship with a superhero to get some kind of dirt on the guy, because there's no way someone like that is all good. He's probably an asshole, Grian thinks.

ALSO a potential socmed angle which is sooo self indulgent for me specifically. I love you outsider pov social media fics. Would involve Mumbo and Scar's relationship leaking and ruining Mumbo's whole entire time because now he can't leave the house without someone stopping him on the street and asking about how Hotguy Really is. Plus sooo many unsolicited opinions about Scar's taste in men. Somewhat warranted.

oopsie. lots of thoughts. thank you for the ask anon :]

[royallygray]

Given the fact that Aimsey and Guqqie are canon characters in your soul horizon au, im guessing you've watched Aimsey and her smp, so now I ask WHEN WERE GOING TO TELL ME HOW FUCKING COOL ASMP IS WE GOT LORE WE GOT SAPPHIC GIRLIES WEVE GOT ONLY NEEDING TO WATCH ONE PERSPECTIVE. I am only on episode 4 but my fucking god this shit is right up my alley and the lore has swallowed me whole waht the fuck???? This is even a question i just want to inform you that im in shock by whatever the fucks happening and i love it

IKRRRR

Like. okay I'ma be honest. I've also only watched to like ep4 since I keep like losing interest and like. I am obsessed but not hyperfixated and so I keep losing interest in watching the original content but like. I needed background characters and I was like "LESBIANS" and I was like I am intrigued by ASMP and like

Yeah. It's genuinely so nice to not be missing out on stuff bc you have no attention span or bc you don't want to watch multiple povs but gods I love it

idk which ep it's on, but Aimsey killing Tud is canon and Guqqie helped him through that and just

AAAAAA

also I live for the like. dislike to lovers.

Like

Okay so Guqqie is such a fucking ASSHOLE in the beginning, and like they're still an asshole in the middle, but they care. And LIKE

OKAY SO SUNSHIP DUO (that's Aimsey and Guqqie btw idk how into this part of the fandom you are) IN SOUL HORIZON ARE LIKE. SO FUCKING TRAGIC

SO THEYRE SOULMATES. THEY DONT FIGURE THIS OUT UNTIL LIKE AGES LATER BUT LIKE WHATEVER. ANYWAYS.

AIMSEY'S WANTED TO BE A HERO THEIR ENTIRE LIFE. GUQQIE IS A VIGILANTE BECAUSE SHE NEEDS TO PROVIDE FOR HER FAMILY AND STEAL FOOD AND STOP THE POLICE AND SHIT FOR TELLING PEOPLE NOT TO STEAL

and then Guqqie eventually went to the city where the Hero Corp is, right

and then Guqqie and Aimsey had a similar thing going on that Grian and Scar originally had

Except they were literally canon ASMP themselves

BUT THEN AIMSEY GOT TOO INTO A DEEP ASS CULT THINGY

And killed Tud

and Guqqie helped them out

and then something came back to attack them and Guqqie protected Aimsey with their own life

And then if Guqqie became a hero so she didn't get arrested and like because Aimsey genuinely thought it would be better for Guqqie since part of the original part of ASMP is that Aimsey's kind of innocent

But Guqqie has fallen hard for Aimsey at this point and they'd do anything to keep them. So Guqqie becomes Gem's apprentice

And Guqqie's vigilante name was Frostbite and the heroes thought that was too edgy so she had to shorten it to Frost anyways

So Frost becomes Fauna's apprentice

(also Aimsey's hero name is Prince and False's (who is their mentor) is Queen and I did not mean to name them off of bands/artists--)

And like. Guqqie's vigilante bg is rly important because it means that Grian trusts her. All vigilantes are like. Mutuals. in the way you would be on Facebook but not on Tumblr yknow

But Aimsey's naivety is also important bc Gem can tell Guqqie stuff, but Guqqie will tell Aimsey, which is okay, and Aimsey will tell False, which isn't great but it's still fine, and then False will tell Ren which is a Problem because Ren doesn't shut up

So Guqqie has to lie to Aimsey to protect Gem. And it's sad.

The side plot is sad. This is side plot. These are side characters and Guqqie is semi important by sheer just being Gem's apprentice but omg I love them

ANYWAYS IF YOU WANNA RANT ABT ASMP PLS TELL ME BC I AM INSANE ABT IT

Also pls spoil stuff. and headcanons and things. and like if you want me to put something into soul horizon I will do it bc I do need a little more fleshing out of their plot.

TY FOR THE ASK PERI :D

[ldlingsomewhere]

the tie between schlatt and pearl in the @mcytblrcringefail semifinals inspired. in true gay castle fashion. the crackship of schlearl. which is now my baby girl. i understand her like no one else does. with the help of assorted gay castle commentators and most especially @minecrois i bring to you. an unedited bullet point list mostly copy pasted from discord of my most central thoughts on schlearl. it's a truly awful name i love it so much

they're dating but they're not dating.  they live together in a shitty third floor apartment.  pearl started smoking different worse cigarettes so that schlatt wouldn't steal hers anymore.  everyone hates that they're dating and none of pearl's friends know schlatt except as here weird asshole roommate boyfriend and they're always like "you know we would support  you if you guys broke up you could always move in with us". like all of her friends are like "pearl come on move back in with us like pick a house and we'll make space for you we miss you you don't seem happy in your shitty apartment with your... boyfriend" and she's like.  "no i am i really like living here"  and no one really accepts it

there's totally a scene were like grian is like.  "you SMOKE" and she's like.  "uhm.  yeah" and he's like "is this about him.  is this why you smoke did he get you into it" and she's like "i have smoked on and off for like 5 years and i have known schlatt for like 3 how would he have "gotten me in" to smoking.  also you literally have a dedicated weed smoking room in your house what are you trying to say to me"

people are like "oh well why don't you guys just break up you seem really miserable" and they turn in unison and go "well we're not miserable thank you very much.  we quite like this actually.  go away.  why don't you tell that to etho and bdubs, hm?  didn't someone throw a printer at someone there? hm?"

pearl works at a gas station but she takes the night shifts.  schlatt works at a walmart but he wont let anyone know where he works

  "no you don't get to know where i work that's between me and god" "and your employer" "and my employer"  "what if it's an emergency" "idk work it out you don't get to know where i work"  "WE LIVE TOGETHER how can you think i wont figure out somehow"  "you won't though". 

they barely see each other because they have opposite shifts.  they yell at each other all the time and its really entertaining and enriching for both of them. 

this is a pearl who gets to be mean, she gets to be dirty and gross and have fun. they're very 25 in a very real and normal way, sort of in contrast to the rest of the hermits and friends inhabiting this modern au, who are relatively well put together even in their dysfunction

pearl is like "well maybe if you let me decorate the apartment" and schlatt is like "the furniture provided is FINE we're NOT going to ikea" and she's like "i was going to go to flea markets and look around but fine" and he's like "we're on the 3rd floor how would you even get flea market furniture up here" and she's like "well fine.  i guess ill go to ikea do you want meatballs" and he's like "why would i want meatballs i hate ikea" and she's like "you like their meatballs you're just hungover go barf and you'll feel better.  bye".  she's also hungover she's just dealing with it better than him

pearl has one of those cute little pet cactus that grian gave her that she repotted because the old pot broke and now its like a medium sized cactus that's too big to be cute and fashionable and it lives on their shitty balcony that's primarily just used for them to smoke at and they have shitty plastic lawn chairs.  you know the ones.  that squeak every time that you reposition them

schlatt and pearl smell like the exact same person and everyone notices and is like "wow they're really close" and like they are but not in the way everyone thinks of, they're close in a secret special way that can only be achieved by dating-not-dating your roommate who you have really weird tension and are weirdly close with. its very very important to understand that they're not actually dating. everyone just thinks they are and they kind of are, but they're not

90% of their clothes are communal and they're all really worn in.  they still get mad at each other for taking "their clothes" but they haven't known who the clothes actually belong to for a really long time

schlatt ingratiates himself.  not on purpose.  to the hermits et al because pearl shares a costco membership with them and so he will often have to drive over and pick up groceries because pearl is asleep or getting ready for work or something

via either @twinprimeconjecture or @faghypnotizd or maybe probably both on the potential for schleralis: it would be a one night stand thing and for some reason schlatt would actually come to a thing with pearl and the rest of the hermits would be there and it would be a very awkward realization and then conversation of schlatt going "wait.  i recognize you [keralis] because we slept together for a brief period like 3 years ago.  and now i'm your friend's friend's roommate boyfriend guy.  and also all of you guys dont like me at all"

[wren-kitchens]

hello hello, i was bored and wanted to write something for @rosaacicularis' villain!grian (but doing it poorly) au!

grian is humming along to the song stuck in his head as he pulls his gloves on. today is the day—he’s been planning this robbery for a week. then they’d finally realise that he is not a hero.

the news is on in the background, white noise as he equips his cuteguy outfit. honestly, kids’ shows about superheroes never seem to mention how much of a hassle it is to put the suit on. it has layers.

he’s just navigating his wings through his jacket (honestly, he needs to make the holes bigger) when the tv suddenly blares loud music.

grian jumps, cursing, and turns to the tv, jacket only half on. he curses louder as he sees that all-too familiar sight of scar, tied up outside the very bank he’s been planning to rob. 

next to him is another hack ‘villain’, grinning luridly in what has to be the least threatening way grian has ever seen. they’re holding a rope and apparently demanding $10,000 in exchange for scar’s life.

grian rolls his eyes, and manages to put the other half of his jacket on. he grabs his bow from the kitchen counter and slings it around his back. scar just has to get all the attention, doesn’t he?

he’s there in a minute, to the amusement of scar.

the ‘villain’ is still telling the news broadcaster how impossible it would be for cuteguy to step in this time, when grian taps them on the shoulder.

the villain jumps back, grabbing their gun and pointing it at grian, who remains unfazed.

“so what’s your name then?” grian asks boredly. 

the villain scrambles to regain their composure. “I am the violet jewel, and-“

“god, you guys aren’t even trying anymore.” grian says. “‘violet jewel’ that just sounds like a bad rip-off of scarlet pearl. and this costume-“ grian flicks the cape distastefully. “-yikes.”

the ‘violet jewel’ (c’mon now) puts their finger on the trigger. grian promptly knocks the gun out of their hands and steps on it.

“you could do better.” grian advises them, crushing the gun under his heel as he moves past them. “come up with an original name, get a tailor, then try again.”

grian grabs an arrow and cuts the ropes with the point. scar fake swoons into his arms.

“my hero.” he says in a faux relived voice.

“shut it, you.” grian mutters to him.

“you- but- hey!” the villain shouts as grian flies away, scar slung over his shoulder.

“it’s been fun!” scar smiles down at them. “goodbye, have a great time!”

“you are an asshole.” grian tells him.

“oh? I have no idea what you’re talking about?” scar says innocently.

“i’d been planning that for weeks.” grian whines. “you know I hate being seen as a hero.”

“i do. which is why i know you’d hate it if i did this.” scar leans backwards too fast for grian to do anything and falls out of his arms.

grian gives an aborted scream and swoops down to catch him. scar lands in his arms, bridal style, grinning.

“you’re ridiculous.” grian tells him, heart drumming from the adrenaline.

scar leans in and kisses him. “you love me.”

“I swear.” grian shakes his head exasperatedly, blushing. 

“that wasn’t a yes.” scar pouts, using that put-on sad voice.

grian caves immediately. “yes, I love you.” 

[sleepynenes]

Tell me about the AU 🔫

HI WOW SO GLAD YOU ASKED

[claps hands] SPACE AU! title pending so i call it that for now but it follows the crew of a ship called the SW4G0N, aka grian, scar, pearl, mumbo and cub!

• the crew started as just grian and scar, two former classmates who studied together at a spacing academy and graduated together and did odd jobs on a smaller little spaceship called the P4RR0T! and then through. a complicated series of events they end up on the base of one Herr Doc Monster, sort of the head of a galactic corporation sort of thing (details pending), and. they blow up some important stuff of his. and he’s really pissed off and ends up blowing up the P4RR0T and now there is a massive bounty on their heads from doc and they acquire their second ship, the SW4G0N (the name is a whole story in and of itself)

• next up is pearl! a personal fav of mine, she’s psychic and a fishy alien who can be out of water but just needs to stay hydrated, i still havent figured out how the crew pick her up but she’s the third member that joins and she’s one of the many things keeping the crew together, using her psychic abilities to her aid she’s probably the most powerful crew member but she’s just so sweet and trying her best

• the three of them go to vegas and pick up mumbo! a droid who realizes hey. he doesnt have to listen to commands or wait for someone to tell him what to do! he can do what he wants! and he’s kinda bumbling but he’s trying his best and basically has heelies for feet he’s really lovely

and finally. cub

• cub’s a brain slug in a body of a scientist (also cub) but like. original cub was kind of an asshole and kind of wanted because he worked for an organization and maybe he ran away with some secrets but brain slug cub is Entirely unaware and is experiencing pretty much everything for the first time and trying so hard to act like a normal human. the crew finds out pretty quickly (he becomes besties w pearl due to psychic communication being easier at first while he was learning how to really Speak) but he’s really just. he’s trying his best ya know?

there’s many other characters too! and the crew accumulates SO many bounties on their heads and so many people are after them, including and not limited to: doc, ren false and gem (all mercenaries hired by him), wels and hels (space vampires they managed to piss off), team zit (they accidentally scammed them), bdubs and etho (bdubs is like a space priest and once again. they manage to piss them off) and more to come!

there’s a lot more details and specifics to go into but ill only rlly go into those if people have like. specific questions andkfnfk and that’s the au for now!

[bluiex]

I love the vulture!au, but as a bird nerd, vultures are actually pretty chill if not downright friendly. They get along well with other birds and only show aggression when squabbling over food.

If you want to talk about a real asshole of the sky, that would be the red-tailed hawk. They're loud, territorial, and notoriously bold around other species. They'll sit at bird feeders and simply wait for prey to fly close to them. But they're not above scavenging corpses if its more convenient. They're highly opportunistic.

If you want a Grian that's both cruel and cunning, the Buteo Jamaicensis is a good fit. Males are also smaller than females and both are frequently harassed by crows. Maybe Grian got mobbed by other players/Watchers and Scar finds him disheveled, injured, but very much in "DONT TOUCH ME IM BIG AND SCARY" mode

Scar adopts a new friend and Grian is torn between "do I eat him or try to impress him?"

-🩸

AKAKDJDHAL THAT'S SUCH A GOOD BIRD FOR HIM FOR REAL

That's so funny. Just Grian coming out of scuffle with crowd all puffed yo and angry just like BE AFRIAD OF ME

Scar is like man I needa take this guy in and tend to him poor thing

[mishaloveclub]

in the street racers au would they be rivals on the streets but after races they get to talking and become friends? Is this more of a slow burn, gradual trust thing or is it a ‘my first impressions of you were that you’re obnoxious but then you opened your mouth and now I can’t not want to kiss you’ sorta thing?

i imagined a bit of a mix of both

they’d absolutely be one sided rivals on grian’s end - scar would actually be a little enamoured by him from day one. their first conversation wouldn’t even happen until a few months into them knowing each other because grian has a tendency of speeding off after races before scar gets the chance to get out of his car and talk to him.

(and when scar finally does manage to catch grian off guard and talk to him, grian is so charmed that it sends him down the heavy road of “omg i wanna kiss him so bad i can’t think straight but i’ve spent the past few months forcing myself to dislike him and i probably look like a major asshole and he’s so lovely that i don’t know what to do.”)

[thesnailkiwi]

Jtsnyeyru6wjtjts6ieu6ri6ejtyrqdgahtstruri6eheg24tgjjg

Augh the way you guys can tell how my brain works and what gets it buzzing is terrifying

Alright alright so so I'd cast:

Solidaritygaming as Jeremy. He's a pathetic wet paper bag and honestly? Same vibes.

Grian as Michael. Now, this doesn't make much sense, right? But a) goes with the red and blue and b) grian lore is fuckin crazy bro. He's a silly guy, a funky fella, tricky prankster, but also the whole watcher thing and his character 100% has some kind of mental health issues but covers it up with silliness.

Smallishbeans is Rich frfr. A stripe in his hair? Check. Short? Check. Absolute carnage? Check. Innuendo? Check. Stupid references and jokes to the dumbest jokes, like Shrek? Check.

ImpulseSV gives off heavy Jake vibes. I dunno, man, but he's a silly guy who can be the mother friend or absolute batshit crazy.

Katherine Elizabeth or ShubbleYT as Christine. My bad, I meant "Christiiiiine!" But they're both really nice, talk fast when excited, and probably theatre nerds.

Pearlescentmoon as Jenna. With the whole "Nosy Neighbors" bit in Limited Life, how she was always spying on everybody and knew all of the gossip going on the server. Need I say more?

ZombieCleo or Smajor as Chloe. They're both gossip girls/mean girls and it's wonderful.

Stressmonster as Brooke. Explanation? Who's that?

I have an alternate version for the other side of MCYT such as Slimecicle, Sneegsnag, and those guys, but this is the main version. Doth thou agree with this list?

And then, misc questions:

I do have pets! A lot of cats, actually. Well, I have one actual cat who lives inside the house, and then the others are outside neighborhood cats who technically everyone takes care of, but I still count them considering they try and run into the house and cuddle. There's five of the little assholes and I love them. I'll provide pictured tomorrow when it's not 4 in the morning lmao

Alright, so there's levels to this question. Insane? Too long to recount. *browsing* tumblr? Two years? Maybe? I dunno. And I've actually only had a real account for about 6 months. Crazy.

HmMmM... perhaps I shouldn't give away spoilers for the A&D au, but screw it! There's a part where one of the characters is drowning/burning (demon + water = not in this au lolz) and the other jumps in to save them. It's morbid, but writing intense pain is fascinating and I enjoy it. And since it's enemies to lovers, the demon character (scott) still hasn't gotten to know Jimmy, who's the angel character. So the immense fear and anger he feels after waking up from being saved followed by panic is just so ough, yknow? The change in emotions is just so blissful to write.

And then - this isn't a specific chapter - but the way Scott keep trying to push down and deny his feelings. He won't let himself admit love. It was pounded into him since the beginning that it was wrong since he's a demon. That, combined that he doesn't know what the feeling is because he doesn't know what love feels like. The struggle to accept that he loves the other is another thing that I loved to write for it.

And then for my superpower/soulmate au, the panic that sends Scott spiraling when he realizes that jimmy knows his identity and that he is soulmates with his arch enemy and rival.

If you can't tell, I love writing intense emotions

I've been thinking about starting up a bmc au - or at least having it but not writing it yet since I already have like, 3 ongoing aus I'm writing. But I dunno man, a sailor/siren au sounds great :eyes: might develop that. Yes, it's so basic but it fits so well. Also all the ones on ao3 are unfinished, so, gotta make it if I can't find it.

Thank you for attending this speel disguised as a TEDtalk and asking questions it took up 30 minutes of my day that I had nothing to do

This is why I love you guys (my mutuals) you're great <3

Pspspspsps guys I'm bored.

You should send me stuff. Like, ask random shit, or about my aus, or an art request (only gonna do a certain amount)

But you should totally ask me about my hyperfixations or random bullcrap

[frozenjokes]

In my little analysis about the new chapter of the Mumbomaid fanfic has finally reach a conclusion within the council in my head.

I don’t think that Mumbo will do the actions of grown up (sexual/horny?) nature that Scar has fantasies about.

Mumbo knows he is big, he knows is dangerous to humans, he knows that they (Grian and Scar) are far more fragile than himself. He probably will be the more “dominant” one by the fault if the scenery did happen, thought.

But he will try his best to be the gentlest mermaid that has existed ever, since he doesn’t one to hurt the ones he loves. The kind-of aggressive and very dominant behavior that Scar told Grian is very unlikely to happened by the previous mentioned reason.

But since Scar (and Grian too) are aggressive-horny and kinda kinky, they might try to come to agreement with Mumbo that is okay to be a little aggressive sometimes, that they like it, but this would be unsuccessful since Etho would refuse to translate that conversation.

he has no penits

that’s a joke but it’s also not lmao also the idea of them trying to get etho to negotiate any of their sexual boundaries/desires is so fucking funny to me I think he would literally rather die. he’d rather run away with joel and never see any of them again. they make him so homophobic. etho is so utterly sex repulsed even being asked to facilitate that conversation would probably kill him instantly.

scar loves fantasizing for fun it is his favorite activity. ideal world for scar is getting swept off his feet by a sexy fantasy monster or just like. reading fanfiction. same affect. irl he’d probably rather not be under the threat of death <3 live laugh love. he should try writing sometime it would be bad but I support him.

anyway I have been thinking about what mermaid anatomy in this au is like for months (for reasons.) and I believe they are some kind of hermaphrodites and when it comes to genitalia or whatever I don’t think anything compatible is happening with human bodies. Though in a mumscarian endgame future (which. We’re making our way.) I imagine after all these concepts are explained Mumbo wouldn’t be opposed to participating. He likes to be around and learn things and he’s interested in human customs and activities, biological or otherwise! He has zero skin in the game but hey, his humans are really happy he’s here, and he’s just happy to be included! Even if being included is just sitting there. Maybe holding a hand. All :] about it. Just as wholesome as you can possibly get when right next to him those two idiots are being unbelievably nasty.

Though on a different note, Mumbo would at this point be learning English! I do think he and Etho would develop a somewhat close relationship, and I imagine Etho has already started teaching him some very basic tenants of English, as well as random words Mumbo wants to know so he can finally call his friends insufferable.

Etho had a bad experience learning English because Joel was an asshole about it, but I think being able to teach Mumbo something in a way he wished he’d been taught could be really cathartic for him, and might help heal over some of those bad associations he learned from Joel. It will be good for both of them. Of course Mumbo will also help smooth out some of the rough edges of Etho’s occasionally spotty mermaid speak as well. They r best friends to me. Very good pals.

More rambling, but I’d love a future where etho wants his best friend Bdubs and his best friend mumbo to meet. He wants to put his friends in a little box together so badly and shake them around. Watch them. Observe. That would require Etho to tell Bdubs the truth first though, and uhhhhhhhnhhhhhhhh. etho needs like a lot of therapy. like a lot. before that would ever happen.probably

[its-real]

I was going to wait until I had finished doing all the concept sketches for this but uh, I’m lazy so here take it as it is I’ll keep adding surely surely.

-LONG POST-

AU where the hermits fall into the boatem hole with no way to fly out because of some event that happens - maybe an apocalypse, maybe everyone just goes apeshit, who knows - and they all get messed up heads from falling in the void and passing out n fun stuff like that. They ‘land’ - idk how this would work without them dying lol - in a semi futuristic city which for now let’s just call it Boateqm (silent q). The hermit crabs would also fall at different rates therefore appear in the city at different times. So where do they end up?

Hospital gang:

Etho wakes up in a hospital bed with no memories - most of them will wake up with no memories btw - his doctor/nurse (this hospital may be understaffed) Tango asks him a bunch of questions then has to go see another patient. Etho is seen by a certain Bdubs who had just finished visiting his buddy Scar -will get to him next- in the bed next door. Bdubs walks back to notify Scar, a fashion designer, that the guy in the bed across would make a great model, just look at the striking hair! And the red eye! He opens the curtains on the side and Scar gets a look. He asks if Etho would like to be hired. Etho is to say the least very confused and on the verge of a panic attack that never quite seems to happen so he’s in a weird kind of limbo anyway it is now that his doctor/nurse Tango comes back and having overheard the conversation suggests it would be a good idea. The hospital can only take custody of Etho for so long, might as well start earning money now so he doesn’t become homeless. Etho is still very confused. So Tango just agrees to the job for him as his caretaker lol, and besides Scar comes here kinda often so Tango trusts him. Anyway Etho’s true passions he discovers are synthesisers, breeding horses with Bdubs and finding elaborate ways to do tax evasion. A simple man.

Scar is in the hospital because he got SCAR (hehe) from walking into a glass door in his super fancy house, which he owns because he’s a super fucking rich fashion designer of his own label Scara (this is not the first time he’s walked into a glass door). Scar refuses to go to a rich people hospital tho cause 1) he cares about healthcare and wants more funds to go to lower grade hospitals 2) Tango is his mate, and needs a goddam raise. But yeah, very successful, ran for mayor once but someone really didn’t like that which resulted in another hospital visit. Mans in the wars. One hospital visit he got really inspired by the fabric and stuff there so he had a line of clothes that were hospital inspired one time, in turn making hospital inspired garb very trendy for a bit. What a mad lad. Ideas man. Some would call him a genius if he didn’t keep on walking into glass doors n shit. Scar woke up in the back room of a small tailoring shop owned by a nice old couple who took him under their wing. He thanks them in every award speech, and whenever he’s in the area make sure to stop by and give them presents. His side hobby is gardening.

When Tango came to, he was lying on the footpath of a quiet street in the suburbs just out from the main city. Gorgeous day, golden hour, pretty houses, very aesthetic. He also had a leg injury, fuck. So Tango did what anyone would do: hobbled to the nearest house, asked in the nicest way he could under a lot of stress (so he kinda yelled) for a first aid kit, and performed surgery on himself atop the nice families dinner table. The nice family turned out to have called the police and an ambulance, who showed up just as Tango was wrapping up his leg with a bandage and took him away to the police on a stretcher. This debacle got him a leading story on the local newspaper: ‘Man performs surgery on himself after waking up with no memories and a leg injury’. After being questioned by the police, they decide they can’t really charge someone with amnesia and no money with anything like breaking and entering (he did knock and they did let him in) or property damage (blood on the carpet). The paramedics are stunned at his surgery, so they tell the police to take him to the nearest hospital and get him hired there, he could save so many lives. He gets hired by the head doctor after an examination of the surgery. The head doctor doesn’t really care that Tango doesn’t have any records or anything, the hospital is understaffed and Tango seems like an Angel sent down from the heavens to him. Tango is very very good at his job. So good that he gets offered a job at a far better paying hospital which he takes, then soon drops because he prefers the chaos of his old job much better.

Tango found Impulse extremely dehydrated, looking like death, wandering outside his flat one night, so he carried the man inside and saved his life. Now they are flat mates, and Impulse works in a tech store - an upgrade from working at a service station previously.

Bdubs woke up in an inner city park at night, homeless, broke, and in the company of other homeless and broke people. He built his way to success, got luckily hired by some rich asshole to mow their lawns plural - the rich asshole didn’t ask much questions, he just saw a poor man criticising the way a park had been landscaped to an old guy in a caravan and though it was good enough, seeing as the last one quit - and Bdubs didn’t mind too much, because the rich assholes property was really gorgeous. Once Bdubs was able to say he had work experience and wasn’t homeless he started babysitting the kids in the neighbourhood, pretty good money. Plus the kids love him, and everyone he meets loves him, he's just a nice guy. He met Scar because he had to purchase a suit for a kids birthday party, so he went to the cute little tailors shop he always walked past on the way to his favourite cute little gardening supplies shop. By now Bdubs had been promoted to part time gardener - the job is shared - and started working on and off at a building firm. They become besties, turns out Scar is also really into gardening etc etc. Eventually Bdubs becomes an architect, mainly designing for city contractors n such but occasionally designer homes, like the one he did for Scar.

Mumbo and Grian wake up in the hospital around the same time that Etho is still there, however Etho has been awake longer, and should really find a place to stay soon now that he’s got a steady job. Since - ok plot point here - the two are in the exact situation that Etho found himself in, he starts to feel like something weird is going on. Mumbo and Grian take a lot longer to recover than Etho did, and the two become hospital bed neighbor buddies. When they finally recover Scar offers them a temporary place to stay at his house while they find work. Tango gets Impulse to put in a good word for Mumbo at his work.

Nomads:

TFC is an old man who lives in a caravan off the money he made being a very successful miner, he now collects pretty shiny rocks and gems and stuff to give to kids. He’s like an all year round caravan Santa and wise old mystical figure. Dope.

Joe is a humble man who likes to wander. He’s never had a home, but if he needs anything he’ll go to TFC’s caravan or a homeless shelter or something. But he isn’t sad or anything, he really likes the freedom of being a simple wanderer.

Others:

Keralis is a business partner of Bdubs. Kerlalis is mega stonks. He was one of the first to land, had a big diamond in his pocket, bought shares in a company that blew up soon after and now he is really fucking rich.

Doc and Ren are the only ones who remember anything, and they arrive at the same time. Doc manages to keep his cool, but Ren loses his shit and gets thrown in a mental institution. Doc spends some time trying to get Ren out, and after a final success and laying low for a bit the two seek to bring all the hermits together.

Pearl ends up working in Bdubs building company.

Beef works in a music shop -sells records and instruments- and he starts up a record label out back after his boss retires and passes the shop onto him.

And yeah I don’t really know the other Hermits that well was hoping some of ya’ll could help me find places for them in this city :) don’t really know how to format this either so maybe some input would be nice, just wanted to get the idea out hehehe

[knight-of-the-graces]

(Post under cut!)

 Can we have an au where the watchers are just two asexual beings that love each other and really wanted kids. And they just so happened to find three that had no positive parental figures. So why not nab them? The watchers are concerned over their lack of self-preservation, but hey, they can fix that, hopefully. It's questionable if they succeeded, but at least they don't g running into danger right away. 

Like, can we have cute family scenes of the Watchers teaching them to fly, or use magic? Can we have them learning about the other worlds, and wanting to help them? Hence, Evo and their other series like Build Swap and Hermitcraft.

What if it was both? Some Watchers are assholes, and some are super nice. Watchers are based upon the viewers/subscribers after all. And some of us can be assholes, and some of us can be rather nice, yes? So hear me out.  

The Watchers that kidnapped Dom, Grian, and Taurits are some of the nice ones, and they warn them away from most of the really mean/negligent ones. Because both can exist. I'm just a little tired of most people deciding Grian had a terrible life until Hermitcraft. 

 Yes, YHS was extremely angsty- the entire world is canonically destroyed and it can be blamed on them and Sam- but what about his other ones? I mean, what about Evo itself? Grian was happy on there, playing with friends, for quite a while until he got burned out and joined the Watchers. 

 So it could easily be said in a backstory of sorts that while he had fun with his friends and brother-figure, he still missed the first positive parental figures. (I mean in YHS his character mentions his bio parents abandoned him at six years old onto the streets of Japan) That doesn't mean he has to stop visiting them though, right?

And what about Build Swap? Think about how many guest judges or players he invited during that series! What if that was the character's way of brightening up someone's day, making them laugh? Giving them a chance to have a better day. 

 Imagine the Watchers being the ones to teach him redstone. Because back when the redstone was simpler, Grian was actually really good at it. I mean, just think about NPC Grian and Robot Grian. The dude made a robot version of himself just because his voice was messed up. So perhaps, while he never really understood the more complicated redstone, they taught him how to make artificial life. Like how in Hermitcraft he makes Grumbot and Jrumbot.

Also, he was always a mischievous gremlin from the moment he got out of YHS- whose to say that wasn't a way the Watchers helped him find to cope in a healthy way. Something better than murder or self-harm.  So when Evo comes around, he's wearing green, as red has t r a u m a associated with it. He eventually goes back to wearing red, but by then he's worked through that part of his problems. Not to say the red isn't a different shade now though

He's traumatized, and certain sounds still cause him to jump, but he's getting better. The dude deserves to have a positive and supportive family. Perhaps the Watchers are a little overprotective sometimes, but that's okay. 

They might make a point to kind of intimidate Xisuma when he comes to invite Grian, but that's okay. They might make a point to secretly visit, but that's also okay. Because sometimes their kids have bad days, and just need to be hugged and comforted and assured that everything's alright. It doesn't matter that they're adults now- Dom, Taurtis, and Grian are still their kids, even if it's not by blood.

Thank you for reading my rant lol.

This is gonna’ be a long one- Okay, in all of the Grian’s backstory fanfics I’ve read, the Watchers are almost always assholes. Can we get a story where they’re like the best eldritch parents ever? Like, yeah they stole Grian and Taurtis and Dom from their world, but they were in an abusive situation- that no one really stopped or mentioned besides joking about it. So why is that seen as a bad thing? 

Keep reading

[give-grian-rights]

CHAPTER TWO HOUR. CHAPTER TWO HOUR. I AM SO TIRED. IT IS 6AM. TELL ME IF HTERE’S TYPOS AND THAT NORMAL STUFF

Bets Against The Void, Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

Whitelist au from @petrichormeraki

Crossposted on AO3

Tubbo quietly chuckled, smiling fondly as their friend squawked indignantly. “Tubbo! I’m serious, explain some shit, fuckin’ nerd!” Tommy scoffed, prodding at their side with his elbow. Tubbo hushed him, their smirk still lingering.

  “Hermitcraft is a super crazy popular server. If you’ve ever searched for examples of builds on your tablet, chances are, they’re from one of the Hermits. Or if you looked up something about redstone! Anything! You’ll find one of their instructions. They’re geniuses- just, complete geniuses. Grian’s one of them-”

  “Grian’s one of them!?” Tommy exclaimed, his eyes shooting open. Tubbo’s grin widened, nodding vigorously. “Yes! He’s the newest Hermit, last I heard.. Most of the guys he’s teammates with every MCC, they’re usually other Hermits!” They’d continue explaining to the best of their ability.

  “Should’ve fuckin’ started with the fact that Grian’s here! That fuckin’ dude! He killed Dream three times! Three times, Tubbo!” The blond continued with his excited shouting. Well, that certainly fixed the situation, Tubbo mused.

  The brunett nodded along, chuckling. “Yeah! He, and most of the others, really- post all that much right now. The new World Client, with the axolotls and caves ‘n stuff? They’ve started posting and sharing discoveries about that.  I know Grian did, at least. But considering they call themselves the ‘Hermits’ it makes sense to be a bit inactive, yeah?” Tubbo shrugged, tapping the chilly cool sandstone beneath them.

  Tommy nodded dumbly, glancing around the room for a moment. Tubbo, meanwhile, had pulled their tablet up. The holographic comm system was displayed infront of them, everything on the screen they touched being read aloud to them.

  Launching an accessibility app, the tablet began describing aloud the block palette, dimensions, and colors. As the tablet’s robotic voice played in his com system, reading aloud the details of his surrounding, Tubbo nodded along to an incoherent rant from Tommy.

Tubbo wasn’t too sure what Tommy was ranting about- likely MCC, and Grian. Grian got a kill on Tommy, last MCC, if they remember correctly.  The brunnett wouldn’t be surprised if that was the target of the blond’s current tangent. Tommy hadn’t even been able to get a word out, when Grian began shouting vigorous apologises between matches.

  The descriptions from the tablet were long, and boring. The robotic voice drawing on and on, as it attempted to describe the intricate room. Shutting down the program, Tubbo tuned back into Tommy. 

  “Fuckin’ am..So fucking tired. Of course we ended up here. It’d be to easy if we’d just be let back into Dream SMP, huh? Think Dream even knew we were out? I bet not. Even if he does, probably didn’t even care, fuckin’ dick. Bet that green asshole’s just sitting over his code and shit, simping over Gogy-” The blond ranted heatedly. The blind teen could hear the shifting and chustling of fabric, before the boy’s voice became muffled.

  With his head pressed against his knees, legs drawn to his chest, Tommy sat there practically panting. His chest heaved, the rage draining from him. “Why is all- all of this, always so complicated, Tubbo?” Blue eyes turned to meet the scarred, burnt front of the other.

  Tubbo picked at faded and torn tennis shoes, tentatively listening. The rymnatic pattern of the boy’s breathing, and the crashing overhead, offered some vague comfort. “All of what?” They’d tilt their head.

  The younger of the two quietly sighed, his mouth pressed in a thin line. His hand clutched the bottom of his torn, tan cargo pants, fidgetting with the frayed ends. “Us. Shit with us, it always gets so fuckin’ complicated. Big Man, you’re president. You’re- you’re the fucking president, now, Tubbo.”

  The bunnett’s brows furrowed together, as they inched closer to their friend. “Yeah. But it’s- it’s still us, y’know? If- if life was easy, then we’d be missing out on a lot of things. What if we had just never met-”

“We’d always meet eachother, Tubbo. There’s no fuckin’ getting rid of me, even in your fantasy world.” The blond nudged the teen’s shoulder, a wolfish grin evident in his tone.

  That made the other crack a smile, shaking their head. “I hope so, Tommy.” They’d chuckle, shaking their head. The weight of the day came crashing down all again. Before the rushing thoughts could boggle down their mind, Tubbo slumped against Tommy’s side sigh an exhausted sigh.

  “This is just, livin’ the fucking life, huh?” Tommy remarked, looking over his friend. The tall boy already shifted himself, his long legs sprawled out on the floor with his back leaned against sandstone walls.

  His head leaned against that of his compaignian, half-lidded blue eyes giving one last surveillance of the room. “We’ll figure this shit out tomorrow..” Tommy mumbled, glancing down at the brunette.

  Tubbo was already asleep, their expression finally one of peace. Tommy wasn’t given a moment more to appreciate the serenity of the quiet room, before he’d be pulled into slumber as well.

  Both of the teens were stirred awake by the whirring noises of an active portal- the Netherportal beside them, with particles flying, gaveway to two players. Tommy kicked himself up to his feet, defensively. Tubbo stumbled along with him, pulling back away from the strangers.

Though two stepped out, only one immediately caught Tommy’s eyes.

  “W- Holy shit!  You’re Grian!” Tommy squawked indignantly.

  Tubbo’s head immediately shot up, excitably breaking into a grin. Any exhaustion the two held was wiped away- neither was sure how long their unrestful sleep had been, but it was far more than other nights. 

  The target of the excitement, Grian, sheepishly stood there, nodding. “Uh, yeah! You guys are Tommy and Tubbo, yeah?  I’ve seen you at most of the MCC’s I’ve been to. You both did really good last time, by the way! I’m really looking forward to the next one!” 

This was easily the closest they probably ever were to the dirty blond. He also looked far more at ease, on this server. The iconic figure, ever-present in the community, had his wild mop of a fringe frazzled and framing his face.

  Poking under the bangs, Tommy could now see faint, ragged lines from a scar, along with other various healed-over wounds. Another contrary to how either of them had seen Grian, at MCC, was the large circular glasses loosely sat on his face.

Seeing one of his heroes like this (The only one that hadn’t betrayed, killed him, turned against him, despised him-) in such a..Domestic state, was bizarre. Tommy was scrambling for words, starting and giving up on getting his tongue around what to say.

  “This is so cool! Hi! I used to watch and- and listen, to a lot of your old build tutorials! A lot of people on our server would always say how we learned building from you!” Tubbo would blurt out, practically bouncing on their heel. Grian turned to the teen, slightly shocked but amused. 

  “Oh! I- well thank you! I’m glad I could be any help at all- my builds are nothing compared to some of what the other Hermits have going on..Speaking of others- this is Stress!” He’d take the opportunity to escape the small spotlight, glancing towards the brunette woman next to him sheepishly.

  The woman- Stress, apparently, quietly chuckled. A fond smile grazed her face, as she looked over towards the two teenagers. “Ello there, Loves! Sorry to interrupt your fan meetup,” She teased, side-eyeing the dirty blond beside her.  “We just wanted to come and check in, is all! X told us two to come visit, yeah?”

  Tommy quietly hummed skeptically,  surveying her. Short brown hair hung barely as low as her shoulder, a neat, white, blue, and pink flower-crown sat upon her head. The colors must’ve been very purposeful, considering they matched with her colorful outfit of the same color.

  “Fine, sure..Well, we’re still fuckin’ breathing, and we’re here. So you don’t really need to be here any longer, yeah?” Tommy scoffed, slumping back against the wall. Tubbo was already standing, nudging at his side. 

  “Thank you, for checking in. I- I’m sure this is a bit of a strange situation. That- Yeah, that’s my bad.” They chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of their neck. This caught Stress’ attention, turning towards the tene.

  “Oh, no! This isn’t a problem at all. Dear, this happens all the time. Grian just- just appeared, one day, in our previous server. We walk out the portal for the first time- and boom! There that weirdo is!” Stress chuckled, her grin unwavering as she gave a playful nudge to the dirty blond beside her.

  Grian scoffed, a smirk edging at his lips as he rolled his eyes. “Okay, but I’m not the only example of that happening- you didn’t have to pick me out specifically!”

  “Sure I do, Love! You’re the first new Hermit to join, after me and Zed! I get to bully you, lovingly!” She cheered. Stress’ energy was absolutely efficacious, Tubbo couldn’t help but smile and cackle at her and Grian’s banter.

“Uh huh,” Grian scoffed, dramatically crossing his arms. “Last I checked, that was Iskall’s job to bully newcomers- oh, Gord, when you all walked out of the portal and they just decked me ? I mean, it didn’t really hurt all that bad, but it’s a matter of the principle!”

  Stress seemed like she was almost gonna break down with laughter, clutching her stomach. “I forgot they did that with you, too! Iskall certainly is one that needs work with their introduction, that absolute weirdo!” She chostled, shaking her head fondly.

  She then turned towards the two teens, reassuringly smiling. “They won’t give you any hard time, they’re just like that sometimes, especially in the beginning of a new season..They’re usually just incomprehensible in the beginning, I learnt!” She giggled, covering her mouth.

  Tubbo awkwardly laughed, nodding. “Yeah- they, they sound like something.” It was..A strange environment, to be sure.

  Sure, they knew of the Hermits, their reputation impossible to avoid- but most outsiders didn’t know much about the actual Hermits. They went by that title for a reason.

  Tommy was having similar thoughts, he felt as if he was completely imposing on, everything. But he couldn’t find it in himself to care- it frankly was..Warming, almost, to see this. He missed being able to have that, on Dream’s server. 

  The blond in particular seemed to have tuned out, because by the time he snapped out of those thoughts, Grian was speaking again.

  “We’re glad to see you’re both alright, but, I don’t think we’ve been exactly great hosts. You both have gotta be hungry- I know the last thing you two seem to want is help, but..We’d be happy to help you however we can.  We can go get you fresh, real food. Or- you both come with us, and we take you to our central area, the Cowmercial district.”

  Tommy stared blankly at Grian for a moment, brows knitted together in bewilderment. “The… Cow..merical district?” He’d repeat, squinting.

  Grian snickered, nodding. “Yeah! The name just stuck. It’s our shopping district. We have a bakery- it’s never, ever too early for cake. There’s Doc’s shop, but that’s all villager-bought, if it’s the rare occasion that it’s stocked at all- so the Bakery may be the only option, for today.” He glanced back at Stress, who nodded in agreement.

  “Only if you’d want to,” Stress would interject. “Either of us could come bring you food here- but, we figured you might want to just..Get out. You’re allowed to leave here whenever you want- but, navigating our server by yourself, for the first time? Not the easiest.”

  The two teens glanced towards eachother. Tubbo looked like they were practically buzzing in place, at the idea of exploring the Hermits’ world. Tommy watched them for a moment, before quietly scoffing.

  “..Yeah, okay, sure- how the hell do we even get out of here though, for starters?” Tommy crossed his arms, inching closer towards Tubbo. He, for one, was really not a fan of having to fly out.

  Stress cheered excitably, pulling open her inventory. The woman promptly dropped a stack each to the two teens. “I came prepared, just in-case!” She grinned. With a swipe of her arm, the digital screen dissipated.

  “If you know how to use elytras, X already said he’s more than happy to lend out two from the back-up system. I have some to spare, as well.  But- you two never seemed the most comfortable in the air, during flight-based games.” Grian would add awkwardly, adjusting his own wings behind him. 

  Tommy didn’t pay much attention to the words- instead, he promptly threw open his inventory, gawking at the full stack of pearls. “What! I don’t think i’ve ever had this many pearls! Holy shit!” He pulled out the stack of sixteen.

  One pearl manifested in his hand, while a holographic icon hovered beside him. The pixel-image of an enderpearl, with a large 15x in the corner in white font was projected for only his vision. The blond couldn’t remember a time he had so many enderpearls.

  “Thank you! Wow- yeah, pearls aren’t really common in our server!  This- this is really nice!” They felt giddy, as they pulled their’s out as well, the action muscle-memory.

  “Well, I’m glad you two can put them to good-use, then!” She chuckled. The idle question of how can a server lack pearls skimming through her head for a moment.

  Within seconds of her saying that, Tommy had already blindly tossed one of his pearls- promptly falling down from the ceiling, and landing on the floor with a short shriek. Tubbo straightened up from the sidelines, tilting their head.

  “Tommy! What did you do?” Tubbo called out accusatorily, as they quickly popped their surrounding descriptor back on.

  “Nothing!” Tommy quickly yelled back, lunging to their feet with a stumble as they dusted themselves off.

  At the sidelines, Stress and Grian cackled, watching in lighthearted amusement. Tommy could feel his face flushed red with brief embarrassment, quickly attempting to play it off.

  “Truer answer; I was being awesome. That was what, Tubbo. Are we eating or what? I want to throw pearls and go places. And eat, that too.” He quickly turned towards the two Hermits expectantly, narrowing his eyes at them.

  Grian grinned, nodding. “Yes, yes we are! I have boats. Go ahead and pop up with your pearls, and we’ll fly out to you.” He explained briefly, pulling the boats from his inventory. The thin, digitized object manifesting in his hand. 

  Tommy turned expectantly to Tubbo. “You got this, Toob?” He tilted his head, watching his friend. Tubbo had immediately nodded vigoriously, running over towards the center of the room, the ceiling above open to the water. 

  “Yeah! I’ve got this, Big Man! No sweat!” They gave a toothy grin, shifting the enderpearl in their hand. Arching their arm back, the teen cautiously stepped back.

  Their communicator had continued reading off the details of the room into their thin earpiece,  primarily the dimensions. All they had to do was hit the wall leading up to the surface to get out. They could do that, surely.

  With a huff of effort, they chucked the pearl. They heard it  break through the under-surface of the water, and then they were submerged. Breaching the surface, they gasped for a moment. The ocean rippled, clothes heavy and soaked. They were certainly glad they had been in their casual clothes, rather than their presidential outfit.

  Within a moment, Tommy was up beside them, quietly gasping as well. The blond pushed his hair back, lightly nudging Tubbo away from the gaping hole in the water beneath them- and then Grian and Stress flew out.

  The sound from the rockets were deafened from beneath the ocean, thankfully. Only a thin trail of smoke followed them, the sight certainly unfamiliar to the fireworks the two teens had been accustomed to.

  Both Hermits had dived straight into the shallow water with a splash, before the dirty-blond dropped down two boats.

“I want to drive! Tommy, i’m driving us!” Tubbo cried out, at the sound of the wood hitting the water. Beside them, Tommy scoffed.

“Tubbo! I’m not gettin’ motion sickness! We just woke up, no way. Your idea of ‘driving’ is no one elses, my friend.” He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as he pulled himself into the boat. Beside him, Tubbo whined.

  “C’mon, man! Nothing like a bit of motion-sickness to get the day started!” They playfully remarked. Despite that, they had already accepted their defeat, pulling up into the boat.

  Stress and Grian watched the teens carefully, with Stress laughing lightheartedly at the banter between them as she pulled herself into the boat, behind Grian.

  Grian, on the otherhand, was mostly quiet. A thin wisp of a smile was present, conveying one of bemusement. Tommy didn’t get a good look, but, he couldn’t quite pinpoint the look from Grian. He didn’t like it.

  “Alright,” The older Brit at hand started. “We’re real close. No one should be at Looky Looky At My Cookie- and it should be early enough that there aren’t any real occupants at the Cowmerical District.” He explained, turning the boat as he got a small start ahead of the teens.

  “Sure, then! That sounds g- wait, what’s that name?”

“C’mon, then!” Grian wouldn't answer Tubbo’s valid question, before boating off. Tommy quickly following behind, shouting indignantly after them.

  It certainly was odd. It felt..Comforting, here. Certainly not relaxing. The opposite of cf relaxing- Tubbo had nothing but the craving to do something. But it was..Welcoming. It was strange. They hadn’t felt so- so unbothered, since..Ever, really. They liked it.

  Tubbo wondered if it could stay this way.

  Tommy wondered what the hell they were about to get themselves into.

[melon-wing]

Animosity [Pirate AU]

[Pirate AU Masterlist]

This story is set a few years after the events of ‘Trauma’.

~

“Cadet! You missed a spot over there!”

Loud clanging of metal rang under deck as the metal bucket was kicked over, spilling muddy water all over the floor. Grian balled his fists holding the dirty piece of fabric he had been cleaning with. He had been almost done with his duties for the day. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. If he spoke up now, he’d be reprimanded again. And if there was one person that seemed to hate him more than the First Mate it was his Captain.

“I’m sorry. I’ll get right back to it”, he said in a flat voice.

There was a grunt of annoyance – probably at his tone – and the bucket was kicked once again, flying into his direction and hitting him in the chest, splattering some left over muddy water all over him.

“Try again, cadet.”

Grian gritted his teeth, starring up at the First Mate, trying to keep his hate from showing. “I’m sorry, sir.”

The older man nodded and walked past him, right through the muddy puddle and Grian knew he’d be busy cleaning everywhere once more.

“Why were we the ones who needed to take a rebellious orphan runt like you… I hope some pirate gets rid of the burden for us soon”, the First Mate muttered under his breath, but Grian could still hear him. The moment the man walked around the corner, Grian held up his middle finger, mouthing a few choice words in the direction.

He remembered being so happy when he had finished his last classes at the navy’s academy. He had graduated with top grades and had been promised a good position… So they had put him onto a ship with some really prestigious overly-decorated people. Prestigious assholes was more like it. The last time those guys had done any amazing feat, TFC had probably still roamed the six seas.

Grian took another deep breath, looking at the mess he’d have to clean up and sighed. He wiped off his hand on his shirt and then took out his locket to look at the small picture. It always helped him calm down before.

“And this was your dream? Scrubbing floors in the darkness? Or would they have let you out there with your charming smile?”, he whispered, pausing for a second before shaking his head at his own antics. Taurtis wouldn’t have been back-mouthing higher ups landing him below deck. Taurtis would have been smiling through it all. If only Taurtis was here and they could go through this together.

Grian sighed in annoyance at himself. If Taurtis would be here, Grian would either be still rotting on that damn island or living the life of a pirate, killing and torturing innocent people. He would have become a dirty criminal. He couldn’t complain about being forced to clean a little. One day he’d have his own fleet below him and then nobody could order him around anymore.

And so he kept scrubbing the deck, praying that none of the other higher-ups would walk up and force him to start all over again. A few minutes later he could hear footsteps, clenching his hand around the rag, not daring to look up. If he didn’t make eye-contact they sometimes pretended he wasn’t there and went on.

“Grian?”

Grian’s head snapped up, his whole face lighting up. There was only one person on this ship that would pronounce his name in such a weird and endearing way.

“Sam!”

The moment he stood up, Sam took in his dirty appearance and his mood darkened. “Who did that? And don’t tell me again that you stumbled. We both know it’s never true.”

The brunette smiled at him, but soon his eyes travelled over the mess on the floor. “Did they put you on cleaning duty again? Man, those old men don’t deserve someone as good as you. They are wasting all your talent.”

Grian smiled at the compliment and slowly stood up. “It’s alright. I haven’t been on this ship that long yet. It’s normal for the new guy to do stuff like that.”

Grian just shrugged, looking down at his muddied uniform. What was he supposed to say? They both knew what was going on around here, but there was nothing they could do about it and Grian didn’t want to risk Sam getting into a fight with the first mate – again.

“Don’t worry, Sam. I’m used to cleaning. It’s not different from the work mama used to give us back in the orphanage.”

Sam’s face seemed to lighten and he chuckled a little. “Well as I remember you and Taurtis loved to ditch exactly those chores to go play pirate and navy, leaving me to clean up the mess.”

“Oh, please” Grian laughed as well “As if you ever did any work. You had all the younger kids wrapped around your finger, doing all the work for you. No wonder mama called us the troublemaker trio. We were really bad… the three of us.”

Grian sighed and let his hang a little, his hand automatically searching for the locket beneath his clothes. “Good times...”, he whispered quietly, only to be suddenly engulfed by arms, pulled into a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there anymore to save him.”

Grian just shook hist head. “That’s not your fault. I’m glad you weren’t there to get hurt, so I have at least one of you still with me.” Sam gently caressed Grian’s back, helping him calm down from the memory of Taurtis’ death.

“Still… I should have just waited two more years until you guys were old enough to join the navy with me. Maybe things could have been different then.” Grian shrugged at that. Things might have been different if Sam had been there. Sam had always been the best fighter amongst the three of them. But against pirates? If Sam had been there Grian might now be mourning two friends instead of one.

With a sigh Sam finally let go of him, smiling at him with so much pity in his eyes. “Now who did that to you Grian?”

“Does it matter?”

“It matters to me.”

Grian didn’t answer at first. He didn’t want to get Sam into trouble, but he felt the need to share what was happening, if only to have a place to vent. “It was the First Mate...”, he finally admitted quietly. In an instant Sam’s face was furious again and Grian was sure that he’d do something stupid if he didn’t stop it. “You can’t fight with him about that. You’ll only make things worse. Especially not now, so close to your promotion! They might take it back.”

Sam seemed to calm down at his words, if only by a little. "This sucks! They shouldn't be allowed to do shit like that! It's not fair. Once I'm Captain I won't do something like that."

Grian smiled at his friend warmly. He knew Sam would be an amazing captain. He was just naturally good with people, all charming and charismatic. "You won't have to wait much longer."

"Listen Grian..." Sam looked at him out of serious eyes. "When I become Captain next week, I'm gonna try to get the higher ups to transfer you to my ship. I won't let you stay behind. I could imagine no better First Mate than you."

Grian blushed a little at the compliment. Sam had that way of always making him so cheerful with just a few words. "That would be really nice. I'd like to serve on your ship." He had looked up to Sam his whole life after all. Commandeering a ship alongside him would be like a dream come true.

"And now let me help you out a little, alright?"

"You shouldn't! If someone sees..."

"Nonsense. I might be an Officer, but I'm not above helping out a fellow crewmember."

Sam got onto his knees, picking up one of the cleaning rags and smiling up at Grian. "Now come on. If we do it together, we'll be done soon."

It took them both almost half an hour, but they were finally done. Grian wiped the sweat from his brow, looking to Sam with a satisfied smile. He opened his mouth to say something when he heard the sound of steps approaching. Sam jumped up hurriedly, hiding the cleaning rag behind his back just in time before the Captain walked around the corner.

"Officer Sam, Cadet Grian." The Captain looked from Grian on the floor to Sam and raised his eyebrows. "Officer Sam, I do hope for your own good that you didn't help with the chores.”

"No, sir! Of course not!"

"Because if you did I might need to write you up and that might delay your promotion so we can keep you here a little longer."

Grian could see the way Sam's hands tensed behind his back, clinging to the rag, which was hard prove of what he had just done. The Captain walked up to Sam and Grian acted on instinct. He hurried to his feet, pretending to knock the bucket over by accident, water hitting the Captain's shoes, who jumped back in surprise. Grian took the moment their Captain wasn't paying attention to rip the rag out of Sam's hand.

"So sorry, Captain! I didn't mean to do that! I am really sorry!"

The Captain looked at him furiously and then his eyes snapped back to Sam. "You two trying to hide something?", he spat and Sam took his hands out behind his back, raising him defensively in front of him. "I was just talking to Cadet Grian, I swear."

The Captain grumbled. Grian was pretty sure he knew that was a lie, but didn't care enough to call them out on it. "Leave now, Officer, before I change my mind!"

Sam looked at Grian, hesitating, but Grian shook his head a little. If Sam stayed back he'd only make it worse for both of them. With a last worried look, Sam saluted and walked away, probably back to his post.

"Cadet Grian! You will clean this mess at once."

"Yes, sir. Of course."

The Captain then eyed him from top to bottom, sneering at his dirty uniform.

"Cadet Grian... How many times do I need to tell you, that you have to keep yourself presentable. You are no longer a dirty orphan boy. The navy paid for your education, the least you could do is look nice and presentable to thank them."

"I'm sorry, sir, but it was..."

"Oh by the gods, I don't want to hear your whiny excuses again, Cadet! When you are done here, freshen up and then go to the kitchen. You are on potato peeling duty for tonight."

"But..."

"Also on pan cleaning duty after we are done. Don't make me take your food away as well."

Grian hesitated, but nodded. "Yes... sir."

"That'd be 'Thanks for letting me have dinner, sir.'" The Captain looked at him smugly, clearly enjoying the way he made Grian bow under him.

"Thanks for letting me have dinner... sir."

Grian didn’t dare to raise his head until the steps had retreated far enough. On days like these he wished he was still back at the navy academy. His teachers had always been nice to him, telling him he’d do great things in the future. He missed the days when Sam had come to his room to help him study. Here everybody seemed to think he’d gotten his good grades because of his looks after some nasty rumour about him being involved with his teachers had spread. But he’d pull through. Once Sam had his own ship he’d follow him. Everything would be better then.

~

Grian yawned, rubbing his eyes a little and then returned to scrubbing the pans. Everybody else on deck was laughing and having fun. His Lieutenant had decided that no help was needed for cleaning up, which meant Grian would spend half of the night in here to clean up everything. If he was lucky he’d get three hours of sleep before he needed to get up again. That was if the Captain or First Mate didn’t decide that he’d need more punishment.

He had hoped that maybe Sam would sneak in to help him out a little, but he probably hadn’t managed to find an excuse to get away. Grian hummed a little to himself, a tune that had been stuck in his mind since forever, that always raised his mood.

He just put in another pan, when a loud bang echoed over the ocean and their ship shook. The wooden basin Grian was using for cleaning tipped over, spilling some of the water over Grian. Damn he was going to be in trouble with his Captain again. What was going on up there? Did some idiot drink too much and fire one of the cannons again? Grumbling a little Grian put the cleaning rack into his back pocket and tried to heave the basin back up again.

There was another thundering sound and Grian could hear shouting and screaming. No. This wasn’t a drunken mistake. They were under attack. Grian ripped off his apron and ran up to the deck. The moment he opened the door, smoke entered his lungs and he began coughing. Parts of the deck were on fire, some of his crewmates already hurrying to put them out.

Another deafening boom of a cannon shook the deck. Grian turned his head into the direction it had come from. There was another ship, sailing parallel to them, all canons smoking. Grian’s gaze travelled up to the flag and his heart sank. A red flag pirate ship. This was going to be bad. Another cannon fired and hit their ship in the side, making it shake. Fuck. Grian needed to get ready and quick. He ran back under deck, cursing himself for not carrying his sword with him at all times. He had done it in the beginning, just as the rules stated, but everybody had kept teasing him about it.

Grian stepped out of the door and was already met with a sword. The pirates must have boarded the ship while he had been running for his weapon. Grian held his own weapon up in defence and began to engage in the battle. His eyes kept darting around, trying to find Sam in all of this chaos. They always fought best together and Sam was the only one Grian trusted 100 percent to have his back.

He skidded through the hallways, diving into his room and grabbing his trusted sword. It had helped him through many fights, it would do its job now once more.

“Protect me, Taurtis”, he whispered a little out of breath, touching the locket softly as he was running for the deck once more.

Grian managed to push his opponent back enough for him to hit the railing, and one shove with his elbow made him fly overboard. He suppressed the urge to shout for Sam, knowing that it might draw unwanted attention to himself. His eyes darted back and forth. There were multiple pirates on board now, fighting with his crew. He didn't dare to look too closely at the bodies on the floor. If they followed the principles of their red flag all of those men would be dead or dying. In the crowd his eyes were suddenly drawn to his Captain who was having a hard time fighting. Grian rushed over, but a guy stepped in his way, smiling brightly.

"I'd rather you look at me now, boy", his opponent said with an amused undertone, completely unbefitting of a battlefield. Grian’s head snapped back and he moved just in time to block one of the sword strikes. Unlike his first opponent, this guy was actually quite good at fighting and they were pretty evenly matched, especially with Grian's attention constantly being drawn to his Captain's battle. Why was nobody helping him? Where was the first mate? Where was Sam?

"I don't think so, boy. Give our Captains some private time", the pirate said in an amused tone, flipping his ponytail over his shoulder before pointing his weapon at Grian.

Grian looked past him and his heart fell. He recognised the opponent his Captain was facing. They all knew about him: Captain Doc. Grian had already heard about him when he'd still been in the academy. Raised by the frightening TFC, Doc had taken over his ship, swearing revenge on every human being for the death of his father.

"You are really starting to annoy me. You in love with my Captain or why do you keep looking over there?"

Grian felt fury rising inside him. He practically glowered at his opponent and with one elegant turn batted his sword away and rammed his elbow into the guy's face, making him stumble back a little.

There was a loud scream and suddenly Grian felt like everything was happening in slow motion. He turned his head to the side and saw the body of his Captain falling, blood spraying from his throat. Doc stood in front of him, bloody blade still raised. Everything seemed to stop for a moment as Doc looked emotionless at the fallen body. He then raised his head, looking around and for a second their eyes met. And then everything went back to normal speed as Grian's opponent came charging at him again and Grian had to defend himself.

"YOU BASTARD!"

A guttural scream echoed over the deck, and Grian would recognise that voice anywhere: Sam. Grian was being pushed back by his opponent, but he still couldn't focus his attention onto the battle. He kept looking sideways. Sam was running up to the fallen body of their Captain, murderous eyes on Doc. And then Sam raised his blade and charged Doc.

Grian's heart sank. Nobody had ever won a battle against Captain Doc. Nobody ever survived to tell about a battle fought against him. He froze, as images of Sam's bloody body flashed in front of his eyes, reminding him suddenly of Taurtis' death. A sudden pain in his right side brought him back to the present. He had been too slow and the blade of his opponent had scraped by his hip, leaving a bloody scratch. Grian cursed and hurriedly stepped back, blocking the next attack coming in. He needed to finish this. He needed to help Sam. He couldn't lose another friend. Sam was all he had left from his old life. The only good thing still here.

Grian felt determination rise inside him and he began relentlessly raining attacks upon his opponent, who looked at him in surprise, but then simply smiled enthusiastically, fighting just as fierce. Grian could hear Sam shouting insults at Doc, but the pirate stayed silent or just wasn't loud enough for Grian to hear. He kept listening to the insults but otherwise focused on his own fight. As long as Sam was shouting, he was alright. As long as he was shouting he was alive.

"You should just give up, boy. It is futile. Give up and I might let you live."

Grian huffed, looking with hatred at the pirate. "Sure thing, red flag", he spat out, watching the pirate pull a grimace at his words. Well look at that, a pirate not being happy with being called a murderer. Where was that dumb pirate pride of his?

A loud scream stopped his train of thoughts. Sam!

Grian's eyes drifted over and he saw Sam's blade sliding over the deck as he fell onto his back. Doc was slowly walking closer. Adrenalin rushed through Grian's body. When his opponent charged again Grian ducked under the blade and forgoing his own weapon, he used his free fist to punch the pirate square into the face. His opponent fell backwards and Grian ran off without one glance back.

Doc raised his blade. Sam was still on the floor.

A loud clang and Grian's whole arm was shaking as he blocked the attack by the Pirate Captain.

"Don't interrupt my duel." Doc's voice was a low threatening growl and it sent shivers down Grian's spine, but he stood his ground, glaring at the Captain.

Doc's gaze travelled to the side, furrowing his brows as his eyes landed on Grian's former opponent who leaned against the railing, holding his bloody nose.

"Ren, did you seriously let a little boy beat you? Tell me again why I made you my First Mate." The pirate – Ren – shrugged and gave his Captain a lop sided grin. Doc sighed and turned back to Grian, eyes searching him. "Interesting."

Grian knew he had to do something. He couldn’t let Doc end Sam’s life.

"I challenge you to a duel. If I win, you let the rest of the crew live", Grian said, trying to sound confident in the face of certain death. He couldn't care less for half of his crew, but he'd do anything to save Sam.

Doc smirked, sharp shark-like teeth showing, not a hint of joy in his face. "Oh, boy. No need to challenge me. I'll fight every single one of you if I have to. But do tell me what I'd gain from accepting that deal. What's in it for me?"

Grian faltered. He hadn't thought this far. In the navy, challenges like that would be accepted based on honour alone, but that seemingly mattered little to a pirate. What would he even have to offer?

"Scared to lose, pirate?"

"Never. I'm just curious what you think you have to offer to come in between me and my prey."

"If I lose I'll join you", Grian blurted out. Doc looked at him taken aback and then burst out laughing.

"And what makes you think, I'd want you?"

Grian shrugged. "Maybe the fact that I beat your First Mate without really paying attention to the fight." Okay maybe that was stretching it a little, but if it helped him get Doc to accept it didn't matter.

Doc's eyes travelled to Ren again, who was now fighting another one of Grian's crewmates, face still bloody.

"You got yourself a deal. When I win I'll take you and you get to watch me kill all of your little friends and if I get bored with you, I'll kill you off as well." Grian noticed the way Doc had talked about 'when' he would win, not 'if'. He swallowed. What made him think he could win against Doc, when nobody had ever managed that?

The fight started without any more warning. Doc was relentless, raining hit after hit upon him. Grian swore he could see sparks flying when their swords met. Unlike in the fight against Ren, he couldn't risk losing even a little part of his concentration. If he let his attention waver for even one second he'd lose in the blink of an eye.

Grian ground his teeth together and then started becoming more aggressive. If he just stayed defensive there was no way he'd be able to win. He needed to win. If he didn't then Sam would die. He couldn't bare watching another one of his friends die before his eyes.

Doc raised an eyebrow at him as Grian began hitting back, trying to find an opening for an attack. But Doc was always fast enough to block him, fluidly moving into a counter attack. Out of the corner of his eyes he noticed a few pirates watching them, no longer fighting. That meant nothing good for the rest of the crew. At least noone intervened, letting their Captain fight his battle on his own.

There was a whimper to the side, from one of the pirates and Grian noticed Doc's eyes filling with worry and darting to a white haired man for a second. Grian jumped at the opportunity immediately, blade flying forward. Doc's eyes snapped back to him at once and he hit the blade to the side, a grin on his face. And too late Grian realised that this had been a part of Doc’s strategy. Grian’s blade flew out of his hand, far off to the side. He hurriedly took a step back. Doc was grinning widely now, holding his blade up, pointing it straight at Grian's throat.

"Looks like I win. How naive of you to think a boy like you could win against me."

Grian's eyes were darting around hurriedly, looking for a way out, a way to win. He had no more weapons on him. The only thing he still had was...

Grian hurriedly moved, pulling the cleaning rag out of his back pocket. He wrapped the rag around his hand, movement hidden behind his back, heart beating like crazy. If this didn't work he was done for. And if it worked it might still hurt him beyond repair. All in all it was a stupid idea. Grian's eyes darted to Sam for a second. Sam who was being held to the floor by two pirates, probably so he couldn't intervene in their fight. With determination in his eyes, Grian turned back to Doc.

"Got a little knife hidden behind your back or something?", Doc taunted in amusement and then strode forward faster, raising his hand and bringing it down fast. Grian swallowed hard and sidestepped the attack. When the sword was right next to him, his arm shot out and he grabbed the blade with his wrapped hand, holding it in an iron grip. Doc had been so sure of his victory and just a second too slow to react. His grip wasn't as hard as Grian's and he couldn’t free his blade fast enough.

Instead of pulling as Doc most likely expected, Grian shoved hard, feeling the blade cutting into his skin, but he ignored the blinding pain. Doc seemed to stumble a little and Grian used the opportunity to kick at his legs, making the Captain fall backwards, pulling Grian with him. As they were falling he kept a tight grip on the blade and with one strong pull he managed to rip the blade out of Doc's grasp. In one fluid motion he turned the sword around, still holding onto the blade with his bleeding hand, the other hand grabbing onto the handle and when they landed he pressed the side of the blade under Doc's chin, sitting atop of the fallen Captain.

"One wrong move and I'll kill you, pirate."

Doc looked up at him out of breath, his eyes wide and full of surprise. For a moment they were just staring at each other as the deck fell into complete silence, the sounds of fighting and cheering coming to an abrupt end. A few seconds passed and then Grian heard hurried steps coming closer. His hands began shaking as he pressed the blade a bit harder against Doc's throat, drawing a bit of blood.

"Stop, Etho. Noone touch him."

The steps behind him stopped, but Grian was still on edge. Doc below him seemed to have recovered from his surprise and looked at him almost bored.

"What is your name, boy?"

"G... Grian."

Doc smirked at him, looking rather intrigued. "Grian, huh?" The way Doc rolled the name on his tongue, voice almost growling, made Grian falter, loosening the pressure of the blade a little. And suddenly a knee hit him in the stomach, as Doc threw him off, their positions switching, the blade back in Doc's hand. Doc was now the one leaning over him, looking down at him in deep thought. The sword was resting at Grian's throat, bound to kill him any moment.

~

"Should have killed me when you had the chance, Grian", Doc said with a smirk. Grian closed his eyes, expecting his life to end any second, but it didn't. When he was opening his eyes again, Doc was still looking at him as if he was thinking about something.

"Ren! Call our men back. We are leaving."

"You sure, Doc? You never…"

Doc still kept his eyes on Grian as he replied. "Grian and me had a deal after all. He won. We will leave." Doc leaned closer, his lips now right next to his ears as he lowered his voice to a whisper. "Mark my words, Grian. The next time we meet, I will kill you. Noone ever fights me and lives to tell the tale."

And as sudden as it came the pressure on Grian's neck was gone and Doc stood back up, leaving Grian lying on the floor. Grian stared after him as he went over to Ren and true to his words the pirates were leaving, one after the other jumping back onto their ship. Sam finally rushed over, helping him into a sitting position and firing a flurry of questions at him. But Grian couldn't hear anything, his whole attention still focused on the pirate Captain. Doc climbed the railing and turned around to look at him one more time, smirking devilishly and taking a bow, before taking a rope and swinging over to his own ship.

"Grian? Grian! Talk to me! Are you alright?"

With Doc gone Grian was slowly noticing everything else around him. The Deck was on fire, bodies lying everywhere. Sam was looking at him in worry and Grian nodded slightly. "You?"

Sam smiled and pulled him into a crushing hug.

"You are an idiot. You could have died!"

"Well, I'm glad I'm an idiot or I would have lost you."

The following days seemed to pass in a blur, so many things happening all at once, almost overwhelming Grian. It was a wonder they had managed to make their way back to the navy headquarters with the state their ship had been in after the battle, but they did. The casualties of the fight had been high. The ship's first mate had miraculously survived without even one drop of blood on him, taking over the Captain's position of their ship at once. Grian had been forced to go to the hospital as soon as they had returned. Luckily for him the doctor there had been able to fix his hand, but had told him that the wound would leave behind a scar he'd carry forever.

Grian's eyes searched the crowd of navy soldiers as he stepped into a huge room, slowly walking over the walkway left open in the middle. His eyes landed on Sam, smiling back at him, looking all dashing in his brand new Captain's uniform. Grian returned the smile and stepped up a few stairs towards an admiral, stopping in front of the old man and saluting.

The admiral pinned a medal to the lapel of Grian's brand new uniform and his stoic expression disappeared as he smiled at Grian proudly.

"Congratulations. You are the rising star of the navy... Lieutenant Grian."

[hermits-that-craft]

Pirate au Scar/Doc/Ren under the cut. This is shipping. I am yearning. Have a good day.  originally posted on discord

Backstories:

Doc: As a child, he was outcasted by the people he lived with due to his creeper/human hybrid thing. He was found by either Xisuma, who is TFC's adoptive son, and taken to TFC to be raised. The thing is: his adoptive father doesn't want him to become a pirate like them, and therefore doesn't tell him about being a pirate. Which means its such a pity when the small island he's on is raided by rival pirates and he's kidnapped and held for ransom, which is how he is brought into the whole 'pirate' thing. He trains with his adoptive family and eventually becomes the First Mate for Xisuma when TFC retires.

Ren: Ren, an orphan, joins the navy as soon as he can, because he was told from a young age that his family was killed by pirates and he wants revenge. The pirates that killed his family were, reportedly, the pirates from the Hermit Craft, run by TFC. However, he fights Doc a lot and finds himself falling in love. His two close friends, Grian and Impulse, 'jokingly' tell him to go after Doc. Like, every time the Hermit appears Impulse and/or Grian will go to Ren and tell him to 'go get his man'. Ren doesn't approve of the joke, but he still goes and fights Doc. Later, he finds out that Impulse and Grian are spies for the Hermit and have been telling the Hermit not to hurt Ren, which makes Ren feel very betrayed and he nearly snitches to the captain of the ship, until he realises that that would end up with the two men hung.

Scar: Raised by a very wealthy merchant family, Scar felt the call to sea more than he felt the call to helping his older brother, Cub, at the shops that he runs. Scar is never given the opportunity to leave, however, as he is coddled by his parents and Cub doesn't let him sign up for the navy. He spends most of his time telling Cub about what he would do out at sea and the adventures he wants to go on. His parents use him as the face of their business in an attempt to keep him on dry land, which paints a target on his back.

How do they meet, you ask? Let me tell you.

Now, one night Scar is out at some Fancy Party as a part of his duty as 'face of concorp'. Scar hates it, but he's accepted his fate at this point and is very good at bullshitting his way through parties to make them think that he loves what he does. Not only is Scar famous as the Concorp's poster boy, but he's also very likeable, meaning that he gets along with everyone, a bit too much. 

Scar gets kidnapped by a rival set of pirates (probably the same ones that kidnapped Doc) that night, after a pirate asked him to lead him back to his hotel. Ren, who was also there, offers to guard Scar on his walk home, so with a body guard and a secret pirate Scar and Ren get kidnapped.

Now, at this point, a lot of the pirates think that Ren is one of Doc's spies (or lovers) so they use Ren as bait for the Hermit and Scar as bait for money. Scar is terrified, he's never been out to sea before and now he's been KIDNAPPED by PIRATES. It's never happened before (to him), though Ren is sorta like 'this shit again, the only reason I'm not being a Bastard™️ is because Scar Will Die If I Do That. However, that doesn't stop the pirates from being Pirates, and Ren does get tortured, his bloody shirt and jacket getting sent to Doc as bait. Scar also gets tortured as a punishment for Ren at one point.

In the meanwhile, Doc and Xisuma are having a Grand Time on the hermit, just happy to be out on the sea together, until they get a message from Grian and Impulse to come pick them up, as something has gone down. Doc and Xisuma 'kidnap' Grian and Impulse a day before Ren's shirt and jacket come in, and Xisuma goes to discuss what he needs to do with Joe and Cleo, his strategists. They tell him that Doc will go looking for Ren by himself if Xisuma doesn't go looking for him, and that Grian and Impulse will most likely end up going with him. Xisuma sighs, nods and tells the hermits to prepare for battle. 

At this point, Scar is just, a Mess™️ from the stress, and he and Ren become fast friends throughout their time on the pirate ship, and Scar confesses to Ren about his hatred of being just a spokesman, confessing that he really wants to go and explore the world, and he tells Ren about his longing for the sea. Ren says that, when this is all over, Ren would put a good word in for him with his ships captain, and see if they could get Scar into the navy. Scar doesn't think that it will work, but he thanks Ren for it anyway.

Soon, the pirates arrive on this small island that gives Ren and Scar a chance to escape, but it's Ren whose scared of the consequences of escape, not Scar. Scar has never been kidnapped by pirates before, Scar doesn't know what would happen if the pirates caught them again. Scar doesn't want to die on the island, and as he's being held for profit he most likely wont, but Ren is bait and will most likely be killed once the hermit comes by to rescue him.

Scar and Ren both kinda sorta find themselves falling for each other (very sweet) as they are the only positive things on the island, and that the other is always kind to them. It'd be a cute romance if it weren't for the place that it was formed in. Ren confesses to Scar one night, high off of adrenaline and blood loss, and Scar kisses him to make him shut the up fuck.

During this time, the hermit is getting closer and closer to freeing Ren, and everyone is Very Happy about this, especially Doc. It doesn't make too much sense to most of the hermits until one night Etho and Beef and Bdubs tell everyone about how Doc definitely has a crush on Ren, which is when Grian and Impulse tell everyone about Ren's crush. The hermits, collectively, decide to try and set the pair up when they get Ren back, which comes sooner than expected.

The hermits find the island and, while the main group battles the Rival Pirates, Doc sneaks round the back with Impulse and Grian to free his MANS. Doc finds Ren in a small cage by himself, trembling and covered in blood and definitely Not Okay, but Ren refuses point blank to leave the cage. Grian and Impulse have to drag him out, and it was at that point they realised that Ren is wearing a shirt that looks strangely familiar to the shirt that Scar was wearing at the party. With the sudden realisation that there are 2 hostages, Doc orders Impulse and Grian to take Ren back to the ship and he goes to find Scar. Ren Doesn't like that, on account of Doc being both a pirate and Scar being a very scared person. Doc doesn't care and Ren is dragged back to the ship.

In the mean time, Scar is being heavily guarded by some ASSHOLES as the pirates offer to sell him to a rival company as like,,, bait or something. Scar is terrified, knowing that the pirates were lenient on him and that the rival company will not be as kind to him. Doc BURSTS through the door, finding Scar shirtless and covered in blood and scars. Doc, as a dumb gay boy, immediately decided to woo the man when he frees him.

Doc beats the shit out of the pirates, kidnaps Scar (who is Not Impressed About Being Kidnapped Again, though he is relieved when Doc kills the representative of the rival company). Scar is carried out of the building and Doc meets with Xisuma, still carrying a very scared Scar.

They get onto the Hermit, and everyone is very kind to Scar and Ren, confusing the pair. Xisuma eventually gets up, walks over to them (ignoring the way that the two men flinch away from him) and asks them what happened to them. Ren and Scar don't answer, both man either too scared to answer or unwilling, though they don't know which is which. Scar eventually mumbles something breifly, Ren holding onto his hand. 

Scar and Ren sit away from the pirates, though they're too tired to move away when Etho, Joe and Cleo come and sit down with them. The three people essentially go 'aight so we know that you two arent just 'friends', Scar is lying down In Your Lap, whats up with that?', and the two men dont respond, Scar too afraid of what will happen to them and Ren worried about them hurting Scar (because, you know, pirates). Cleo and Etho eventually give up on them, leaving to head off to bed. Joe stays, watching them out of the corners of his eyes as he chats with Keralis and False. Scar falls asleep in Ren's lap, and Joe tells Ren that none of the hermits would dare hurt Scar for being with Ren. Ren breaks down then, telling Joe what happened in full detail, about how even before he and Scar got together, Scar was punished for Ren being a navy officer, and how he doesn't want to get Scar hurt again.

Doc overhears this, and his heart breaks a little, but he comes up with food and medicine that Stress provided, and promises to Ren that no one on the ship would hurt either of them, for ANY reason. Ren thanks the two men and yawns, so Doc takes them down to his room and then goes and bunks with Xisuma (and by 'bunks with Xisuma' i mean he sleeps on the floor so he doesn't wake up the captain)

Scar and Ren grow close to the hermits, and they slowly let themselves relax, both guiltily considering leaving their lives behind to join the hermit. Scar tells Joe about it, and Ren tells Grian and Impulse, and the three men try to fix it so that the two men decide to stay before they are dropped off.

Cleo and Tango overheard, however, and loudly run into Doc's room while Ren and Scar are SNUGGLING to ask why they both don't just join the hermit since they both want to. Ren and Scar talk it over and agree, asking Xisuma if they could. Xisuma agrees, and they set sail.

In the meanwhile, Xisuma kicks out orders Doc to reclaim his room from the two newest hermits. Doc asks them if he could have his room back and Scar goes 'sure, is there a place we can stay?' and long story short Doc tells them to keep his room, and Ren goes 'we can all share its big enough.'.

It's awkward at first, Doc not really knowing what to do while Ren doesn't know how to feel about the man he definately still has a crush on. Scar, on the other hand, thinks that it's great because now there are two buff men making sure he doesn't fall out of the bed. Scar spends a lot of time helping everyone out, no matter who they are. He's taught how to fight by Wels and False, he spends time telling Joe and Xisuma which trade routs are more heavily guarded and which ones aren't, he helps Stress out in the infirmary and he also makes maps.

Soon, Scar leaves the ship to meet with Cub, taking Wels with him as they meet, and leaving behind a very worried Ren and Doc. The two men end up butting heads a lot throughout the two days that he's gone, to the point that it starts to make everyone else frustrated. Etho makes them talk about why they are mad and fighting, and the two men eventually go 'look i love him and i dont want to see him hurt'.

Scar comes back, having struck up a deal with Cub to get the hermits supplies, and he finds the hermits all looking very expectantly at his boyfriend and Doc. The two men tell him what happens, and Doc says that he understands that Scar is probably uncomfortable and one word and Doc will find a new room, and Scar goes 'cant you guys just share me? idc if you like me i like you too'.

And thats how they start dating in a pirate au, thank you for coming to my ted talk