#green eggs and yaoi

[yaoireview]

sans undertale and asgore. were they yaoi.

yeah no thanks

GREEN EGGS AND HAM YAOI REVIEW

(That was a test, most tumblr users would've given up after that long image. Glad to know I'm dealing with a professional)

When I was a wee lad in preschool, this was my first exposure to yaoi. I told my nearest and dearest teacher about how gay they were. My teacher then whipped around to look at me and they said "How HEINOUS!" and then I was forced to write on the chalk board, "I won't call Green Eggs and Ham gay." like 50 times, bart simpson style

Well, where's Ms. Cyrus now? Shes DEAD and I'm succeeding. Its crazy how life works....

Anyhow.. lets get to the yaoi.

disclaimer. This review will NOT cover the show, but I'm pretty damn sure it just gives me more evidence.

EVIDENCE 1: Sam-I-Am's actions throughout the story

First of all, he drove past Guy-Am-I's (thats the other guys name.) chair, holding a SIGN OF HIS NAME. I dunno about you, but thats basically if I drove around giving out my number. Sam is CLEARLY desperate, and after he heard that Guy doesn't like him, he's got to find a way to make amends, and so he brought his favorite meal to share with him. Green Eggs and Ham.

Guy-Am-I is absolutely NOT down with this whole thing (To the naked eye, we'll get back to that.) and he tries to walk away as Sam-I-Am KNEELS over backwards trying to please this man. You may call it harassment, I call it true love.

I mean COME ON even I WOULD'VE folded at the box with the fox

The fox looks so polite too, you really gotta give him props.

Now so far this may make you skeptical. "Wait.. why aren't they kissing?? excuse me??" I would understand, I was once in your own position, my dear reader, but you must ALSO think about how

EVIDENCE 2: GUY-AM-I PLAYS HARD TO GET.

Guy just KEEPS on walking away from him. "Of course, its because hes annoyed." NO. Its because he's testing Sam for what he's gonna bring to this relationship. Guy has been hurt before, he doesn't want to have to go through that again, and so he makes sure that Sam isn't messing with him.

If he was TRULY bothered, he would've called the police, am I right? The police clearly do exist also, as there is no gun violence in Green Eggs and Ham.

After all the offers that Sam gives, he finally caves. Sam passed the test. Lesser men would have given up, but Sam is not less, he's more.

After one bite of the Green Eggs and Ham..

EVIDENCE 3: Guy-Am-I Fall for the Man.

Guy absolutely switches up on Sam and now he acts like they're old college roommates.

Now, if you're in a relationship with a romantic partner, be honest with me. Have they ever smiled like that? If not, I'm sorry to say, you haven't done enough.

They're clearly gained a sense of respect for each other after this journey, and I'm confident to say that this is not a relationship that will ever be broken by the fabrics of time.

SUMMARY:

If your man makes you Green Eggs and Ham in the morning, that's not your man. That's Guy-Am-I's man.

Yaoi: 10/10

[chinesefirethorn]

THE KAGES AND THEIR GREEN BEASTS

But a modern day AU take with the whole family and the ninken! Ningame is chilling at home, thank you very much. :) This thing took much longer to sketch and color than I anticipated. Hahhhh hahahaha.

Headcanons and easter eggs after the cut

RasaDai: Is it crack? Yes. Is it impossible? Yes, yes, they’re both dead. Do I still ship them? HELL YES. My old old man yaoi (crack) rarepair. Rasa inherits the nearly bankrupt firm from his deceased bastard of a father, and had to devote his whole life to work. He loses Karura after she gives birth to Gaara, and now he’s a single dad whose grown up kids hate his guts. Can this old man still find love with an older DILF? Except he’s definitely not going to wear that green tracksuit. (also that’s Suna designer wear on Rasa and Pakkun’s carrier)

KakaGai: These boys. These men. Husbands, rivals, friends, eternal loves. Kakashi with his jorts and baby pink crocs 😂 (thanks @urieskooki for the color pick) with ANBU gibbets. Gai with Daytime Tiger-inspired shoes! I love having Bisuke perching on Gai and adopting his sparkles ✨. Kakashi giving Gai the ‘I’m pinning you down later’ look. Also, if you really want to know what Kakashi’s reading, check the tags. ;)

GaaLee: My loves, my babies 🥰 Okay I gave Gaara his Shippuden pants bands and his shoes are gourd inspired. He’s excited to finally get to hold a puppy and promptly carries the meanest-looking one (Urushi, surprised, gives a tentative tail wag). In the meantime, Lee has their snacks and drinks ready ❤️ The man is smitten with Gaara. He is composing love songs for him as we speak. He’s also rocking dragon-print kicks (I used my own dragon design from the CNY card).

The Ninken: Ok some headcanons. All the dogs were adopted by Kakashi, except for Pakkun who was his dad’s pet before he died. Pakkun prefers to ride in his carrier than to walk in his older years. Akino, being partially blind, sticks close to his emotional support dog (Pakkun). Shiba is giving puppy eyes to Rasa in case he can get pets. Guruko being a naughty baby running between people’s legs. Bull is just chilling with his new collar—Kakashi replaced the spikes with pompoms for comfort. Uhei likes Lee best and stays close to him.

This image wouldn’t have been completed without encouragement and feedback from @egregiousderp @bayheart @urieskooki Glugchat and the good people who enable me at the KakaGai discord. Mwah love you all.

[tinypizzabluebird]

My headcannons for the smiling friends (+more charaters) sexualities + genders

Pim is a cisgender male who is pansexual. He kisses everybody, including Desmond, the bird, I think he kissed Charlie but I'm not sure, and that weird egg. I don't think he would care which gender he's kissing.

Charlie is a cisgender male who is bisexual. He's been with his current girlfriend and had sexual tension with Mip, so maybe he could be bi-curious? But he's probably more attracted to fem presenting people. (Sorry charpim shippers)

Alan is bigender and aroace. Even though it's implied he had intercourse/sexual/romantic relations with that girl in his bed, I still feel it may be appropriate to call her aroace since it seems like he has minimal attraction, sexual or romantic. Also, I've heard some people call her "she", but I've also heard "he" as well, and in the show. So I'm just going to assume bigender for now.

Glep is green and a straight ally. If he did have queer coworkers, I don't think he would care. I mean, he's literally a green thing 1000+ years old. He's old enough to know better.

Mr. Boss is a trans male and pansexual/queer. I have no idea how to explain it, it's just a feeling. A vibe.

Zoey is a cisgender woman and a straight ally. Again, just based on vibes.

Mip is a cisgender male and bisexual. He liked the princess (?) And had sexual tension with Charlie.

Dj spit is a cisgender male who is straight.

Grim is a cisgender male who is gay.

Gnarly is a transgender male who is gay.

Smormu is a cisgender male and a straight ally.

Jennifer is a cisgender female who is a straight ally.

Shrimp is a cisgender male who is possibly queer/straight ally.

Gwimbly is a cisgender male who is in a toxic yaoi relationship with the old videogame villan or with the boss of the videogame company.

Mr. Frog doesn't care, and he's not sorry. Hello.

Desmond is a cisgender male who is an ally.

I have no idea what else to put so enjoy this

[youreaclownnow]

Since I've been asked now, about my recipes by my dear friend @spacedustpan I decided yes I'll make a post.

"Slop from the trough" is more of a category of foods than any individual recipes. There are also different levels to it.

Slop- food that's mixed together but doesn't look too gross, think pasta with chopped hot dogs and broccoli in it.

Pig Slop- slightly grosser looking than slop but not terrible. Mac n cheese with tuna and spam and green beans falls here, as do many egg dishes. Usually includes hot sauce to increase sloppiness.

Hog Slop- if it doesn't make me ask myself the question "why the hell am I even eating this?" Its not hog slop. Brown sauces are key here. It can taste good but it has to look honestly pretty bad for it to count.

***these are only slop from the trough if I use a big dish to eat it from otherwise it's just slop in a regular bowl.

Fujo Fuel is actually a meal.

It's a grilled cheese (can have meat but not required) and a pickle. Chips can be added as well but like meat, aren't necessary.

Now evil fujo fuel? It's the same meal with the addition of what I've been told, is a fucked up choice of beverage to have with such a meal.

That beverage? Mocha iced coffee with a peppermint schnapps nip. Not evil in and of itself, but I'd be lying if I said that pairing it with a grilled cheese didn't make my stomach angry everytime I do it.

Now, why's it called fujo fuel? Because it's a super fast meal to make that fills me up and doesn't cut much into time I could be doing yaoi related activities.

And lastly, we have Cocaine Lite, also known as Evil Elixir. This is a genuinely dangerous drink that is not without its risks. I cannot stress this enough. Nothing I've ever consumed ever has filled me with more fiery burning violent rage and the physical energy to match, than this drink has.

⚠️DRINK AT YOUR OWN RISK AND DONT SAY I DIDNT WARN YOU⚠️

1 can of 300mg ghost energy, citrus flavor

2 shots of jager

3 shots of vodka

About 4oz orange juice

About 1oz lime juice

Poured over ice in a big glass.

Genuinely I cannot recommend this drink. I've made it exactly once and unless I need to go fight somebody irl I'm never making it again.

[nsfwregretevatorhcs]

I think spud has strange fucked up genitals now, Namely a bright green tentacle dick and and he… lays eggs through it…

i think… wallter is More Then Happy to have spud lay those eggs in him 😼

-wallmark yaoi

💛~

[bengiyo]

Love Mate Eps 1 & 2 Stray Thoughts

A new show from the team that made Our Dating Sim! I only know that this is set in a workplace and that the seme is big on HR violations.

Episode 1

I do like when we start off with Known Gays.

I hope this is an alias, because Sky Ocean is the most yaoi name I've heard in a while.

I need to talk to some Koreans about the drinking etiquette.

Oh my, this date turned so awkward. I feel bad for Pietro.

Okay, good. His name is Seo Yi Jun, and he's very serious about being single.

And here's Ha Ram, who has the exact look of a person to mess with the previous presumptions.

I like Ha Ram's brazenness, because this app sounds so cynical.

At least Yi Jun's tv is at the right height.

Ah yes. The patented Babygirl strategy.

Work Wife has turned! An app where we don't even make friends does sound like it sucks.

I don't think I've caught Work Wife's name, but I like her. She's right. They both need to meaningfully connect with another human being.

Thank you, public transportation, for this coincidental meeting.

We don't get younger semes that often, and I'm sure folks are going to enjoy him going directly for so many tropes.

Okay! I'm intrigued! I'll keep going.

Episode 2

I kinda like Ha Ram being honest about the use of tropes to make his intentions obvious.

Nothing like the threat of car violence to bring a pair together?

We're gonna babygirl this man one head pat at a time.

This is some Green Eggs and Ham approach to flirting.

As a perpetual Make It Right Stan, I'm highly susceptible to flirty touches on a bus.

Ole boy did say he was reliable. Don't act surprised when he can rattle off the tasks he's completed.

What is going on with this photographer and this Morticia Addams makeup.

Their manager is totally invested in them as a ship.

This man really passed out from all the excitement. Oh, BL, I love you so much.

Ah, yes. Another pratfall this evening.

This is a bit silly, but I'm having fun!

[mysticalibra1994]

Sonic Prime (Before the Shattering AU)

Prime!Sonic's counterparts

[For the record, I did post this on my mobile!Twitter account, but I didn't have any room to post more.]

TW: mentions of character death, dystopian society, yaoi (if you don't like the latter, don't force yourself to read)

Reader's discretion is advised...

1.) No Place Emerald Eye - Ever since they met, Emerald Eye has always been loyal to Dread; no matter what their crew said about his skills (or lack thereof). But, this doesn't mean that the blue hedgehog captain never had any doubts (everyone does). In fact, thanks to his quick thinking and sharp ears, he managed to save Dread's life... only to quickly lose his own. The blue lightning struck Emerald Eye down, knowing that it was meant for his beloved co-captain. (yes, "beloved"; in uncharted waters, anything is legal) Dread, who was distraught with grief, had been dreaming of getting his hands on the Shatterspace Shard (aka "The Devil's Lighthouse"). Why? According to legend, the Devil's Lighthouse is powerful enough to bring back the dead with only the scars left to tell the tale... Unfortunately, he was unlucky to find it. But, he was lucky to meet Batten, Black Rose, and Sails. Eventually, they came across Catfish and Froggy.

2.) New Yoke Blue Blur - Green Hills... It's gone (well, not all of it). Chaos Council may have won, but it's not over yet; as long as the rebellion continues to have a pulse. Blue Blur knows this, even if his Rose is now "mechanically enhanced". He, Rebel, and Renegade were trying to find various ways to rescue Rusty Rose and a certain "Ultimate Life Form" (but that's another story...). Despite knowing the cost, Blue Blur has decided to go into the Chaos Council base to negotiate a peace treaty. Of course, Rebel and Renegade were against it. Now, this doesn't mean that they don't care about their friends, they do... That's why they're against it.

"Don't worry, Rebel. If anything goes wrong," he says as he removes his hat, "you're in charge of the rebellion. Don't let the palm trees die out..."

Nobody could predict that those were gonna be his final words.

3.) Boscage Needlemouse - Things haven't been the same since the forces of nature wreaked havoc as the flora stretched as far as the eye could see (and further). First, Gnarly's workout gear has been entangled by thorny vines. Next, Prim's cosmetics were running out and she would have to... go natural! Then, Mangey's electronics weren't working properly due to no wifi for his equipment. The kicker... they were slowly running out of food (processed food, nonetheless). Both Needlemouse and Thorn hated to see their friends like this. So, they came up with solutions to help them (even with the issue of food!). It works! A little too well... Eventually, the group was taking advantage of what the flora was giving them. Gnarly wasn't paying attention as he used one of the tall trees as his own punching bag. Due to its height, it took about more than a while for it to fall. Unfortunately, it almost landed on top of Thorn. Showing no signs of hesitation, Needlemouse pushed Thorn out of the way. Thank Light Gaia she made it, but Needlemouse... All that's left of him is the flicky that the two raised from an abandoned egg.

[Despite being from different Shatterverses, they were willing to sacrifice their lives for their loved ones, no matter the cost.]

The next one is our favorite Ultimate Lifeform(s)...

[cynical-crypt]

was tagged in a questionnaire on livejournal: name: jay gender: yaoi height: somewhere inbetween 5'7"-5'8" eye color: honey brown/amber hair color: between dark blonde and light brown. couple of ginger highlights sibling(s): two half siblings, one is 27 one is 11 pet(s): one torbie (tortoiseshell+tabby) cat and two budgies. getting a ringneck dove soon(?) where are you: my bed last song you listened to: season by the academy is... last movie you watched: anastasia last thing you ate: almond+toffee chocolate last show you watched: parker lewis can't lose your biggest-small problem: i have a canker sore on the side of my tongue and i really need a shower your biggest-big problem: i only have 6 days left to move into my house current obsession: homestuck, fall out boy, bnha and miraculous milk, soda, or water: water backpack or messenger bag: messenger bag. i use one mechanical pencil or wooden pencil: both crunchy or smooth peanut butter: crunchy dark, milk, or white chocolate: dark and milk. white can go to hell forever pineapple on pizza y/n: yes. i REALLY like it paired with green bell peppers/mushrooms/chicken/buffalo drizzle egg style: sunny side up and poached languages you can speak: english, spanish, and norwegian. i can speak some japanese and french but im nowhere near fluent yet @cortexrampage YOURE NEXT. but also if anyone else wants to do this do it

[watchmebackflip75]

Backflip~ The Little Vampire

[e-t-cartman]

I thought this website was over its Dr. Suess yaoi phase but here we are :/

[televisionoperator]

i hate the dr suess yaoi post because it NEVER makes me think of the onceler i see it and i can only thikn o that brief fucking period where everyone wanted to either fuck the guys from green eggs and ham or make them fuck eachother. and then netflix queerbaited it and NO ONE EVER TALKED ABOUT IT EVER AGAIN.

[translations-by-aiimee]

The Husky and His White Cat Shizun - Chapter 27

Original Title:  二哈和他的白猫师尊

Genres: Drama, Romance, Tragedy, Xianxia, Yaoi

This translation is based on multiple MTLs and my own limited knowledge of Chinese characters. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.

Chapter Index

Chapter 27 - This Venerable One Will Cook You A Bowl of Noodles

Chu Wanning felt completely faint.

He blamed himself for being so distracted and unsuspecting on Life-Death Peak. He didn't even notice someone come over.

What was going on? Where did this child come from? His last name was Mo, but Mo. . . what was is again. . . ? Mo Shao? Mo Zhu? Mo. . . Yu?

He composed himself and put on an expression that screamed: "get away". The surprise and panic in his phoenix eyes were quickly masked by his usual harsh and threatening demeanour.

"You—"

He raised his hand out of habit to discipline him, but something suddenly caught his wrist.

Chu Wanning was stunned.

He had been around for a while yet no one had ever dared grab his wrist so casually. For a while, he was frozen in place, not knowing what he should do.

Pull it away and give him a backhanded slap?

. . . It felt like a good word to describe that would be "indecent," like he was no different from a woman in this situation.

Then pull his hand away and not slap him?

. . . Wouldn't that seem like he was being too nice?

Chu Wanning hesitated for a long time and didn't move but the young man laughed: "What's this on your hand? It's pretty good-looking, do you teach how to make stuff like this? Everyone else has introduced themselves already but you haven't spoken yet. Which elder are you? Hey, do you have a headache?"

With so many questions thrown at him, while Chu Wanning's mind hadn't hurt before, now it did.

His mind felt like it was about to split in half. . .

As he got irritated, a golden light in his hand started to glow. When they saw that Tianwen was about to be summoned, the other elders were horrified and moved - Chu Wanning was crazy, right? He would even dare to whip Young Master Mo?

Then, Mo Ran was suddenly holding his hand.

Now Mo Ran had trapped both of his hands. Mo Ran didn't up on the danger of his situation. He pulled him closer and stood in front of him. He tilted his head and said with a smile: "My name is Mo Ran. I don't know anyone here, but just from looking at you, I like you the most. How about I worship you as my shizun, okay?"

This was completely unexpected. The people around them were even more horrified. Several elders gaped with mouths ajar.

Elder Xuanji: "Huh?"

Elder Pojun: "What!"

Elder Qisha: "Oh?"

Elder Jielu: "Uh. . ."

Elder Tanlang: "Hah, ridiculous."

Elder Lucun was the most feminine of the bunch with wavy hair and eyes flooded with peach blossoms: "Ah, this little boy is so bold. He's truly a courageous young man. He might even be so bold as to touch Elder Yuheng's ass."

". . . I beg you, can you not say something so repulsive?" Qisha said with disgust.

Lucun rolled his eyes gracefully and hummed: "Fine, let me put it more eloquently. He's truly a courageous young man. He might even be so bold as to touch Elder Yuheng's buttocks."

Qisha: ". . ." Just kill him and forget this ever happened.

The most popular of all the elders was the gentle and jade-like elder Xuanji. His techniques were easy to learn, and he was a modest gentleman. Most of the disciples on Life-Death Peak worshipped underneath him.

Chu Wanning originally thought that this Mo Ran would've been just like all the others. If not Elder Xuanji, then it should be the energetic Elder Pojun. It never should have been his turn

But Mo Ran was standing so close to him. His face showed a kind of intimacy and affection that was unfamiliar to him. He was like some clown that was just chosen. It was all so distressing for no reason.

Chu Wanning only knew how to deal with "awe", "fear" and "disgust". Something like "affection" was too complicated.

He didn't even have to think about it. He immediately rejected Mo Ran.

The young man froze. Hidden under his slender eyelashes, there was a sense of loneliness and unwillingness in his eyes. He lowered his head, thought for a second, and unreasonably muttered: "Anyways, I still choose you."

Chu Wanning: ". . ."

The Lord was watching with great interest. He piped in with a smile:, "A-Ran, do you know who he is?"

"He didn't tell me, how would I?"

"Haha, since you don't know who he is, why would you pick him?"

Mo Ran was still tugging on Chu Wanning's hands. He turned his head, smiling and said to the Lord: "Because he looks the most gentle and easiest to talk to."

In the darkness, Chu Wanning's eyes snapped open, everything appearing fuzzy.

. . . That was one hell of a scene to see.

He didn't know what the hell was wrong with Mo Ran's eyes back then to actually think that he was gentle. Not to mention that all of Life-Death Peak heard about it. They all sent affectionate greetings to Young Master Mo Ran with looks that said "look at this foolish kid".

Chu Wanning lifted his hand to the corner of his faintly throbbing forehead.

His shoulder hurt, his mind was in turmoil, his stomach was hungry, and his head was spinning.

It seemed like he wasn't going to sleep anytime soon.

He fumed on the bed for a while. He sat up and was about to light a stick of incense to calm his mind when suddenly there was another knock on the door.

Mo Ran was outside.

Chu Wanning: ". . ."

He didn't answer. He didn't say whether to stay or leave.

But this time, the door opened by itself.

Chu Wanning looked up gloomily. The lit match in his hand hovered in mid-air but never reached the stick of incense. After a while, it went out.

Chu Wanning said: "Get out."

Mo Ran strolled in.

He was holding a steaming bowl of noodles, fresh from the pot.

This time it was a bit simpler. The noodles weren't as fancy. The rich white noodle soup was garnished with chopped green onion and white sesame seeds, small spare ribs, bok choy, and a slightly browned poached egg.

Chu Wanning was incredibly hungry but he didn't let it show on his face. He glanced at the noodles, then at Mo Ran. He turned his face away and didn't say anything.

Mo Ran put the noodles on the table, and gently said: "I asked the inn's chef to make another bowl."

Chu Wanning lowered his eyes.

Sure enough, Mo Ran didn't make this dish himself.

"Eat some." Mo Ran said. "This bowl isn't spicy, has no beef, and no bean sprouts."

After speaking, he left and closed the door for Chu Wanning on his way out.

He apologized for Chu Wanning's injury.

But he could only do so much.

In the room, Chu Wanning leaned against the window, not knowing what to think. He crossed his arms and stared at the bowl of spare rib noodles from a distance until the heat of the noodles dissipated and they grew cold.

He finally walked over and sat down. He picked up the chopsticks, stirred up the cold and soggy noodles, and slowly ate them.

The case of the Chen family's haunting had been closed.

The next day, they picked up the black horses they had boarded from inside the stables and returned to the sect the same way they had arrived.

In the streets and alleys, tea stalls and rice shops, the people of Caidie Town were all talking about the Chen family's affairs.

The not-so-small town had broken out in scandal, one large enough for the townspeople to talk about it for a whole year.

"I didn't expect that Young Master Chen had been secretly married to Miss Luo for so long. Miss Luo is so pitiful."

"If you ask me, if the Chen family hadn't gotten rich, they wouldn't be able to survive this affair. Sure enough, men can't handle their money. Once they have money, only misfortune will await them."

One man was unhappy and said: "This wasn't Young Master Chen's fault. It's his parents' fault. Mr. Chen, that son of a bitch. His children and grandchildren should only give birth to children without assholes in the future."

Another said: "The dead are pitiful but what about the living? Look at Chen Yao, Yao Qianjin. She's the one who's truly been wronged. That black-hearted mother of the Chen family deceived her. Tell me, what should she do now?"

"Just get remarried."

The man rolled his eyes and sneered: "Remarried? Are you here to get married?"

The mud-coated man who was teased bared his teeth and picked at them, grinning: "If that woman at home agrees, I'd marry her. Ms. Yao looks so beautiful, I don't mind her being a widow."

"Bah, the toad wants to eat swan meat*."

(T/N: 癩蛤蟆想吃天鵝肉 - means having unrealistic wishes or expectations)

Mo Ran sat on the back of the horse, ears perked up, listening to all the conversations in high spirits. If it weren't for Chu Wanning's closed eyes, frown, and the words "extremely noisy" essentially spelled out on his forehead, Mo Ran might have wanted to go join the villagers.

They walked together and finally left the main city, arriving at the outskirts.

Shi Mei suddenly gasped and pointed to the distance: "Shizun, look over there."

In front of the ruined Master of Ceremonies Ghost's earthen temple, there was a large group of peasants in brown clothes and shorts. They were busy moving the bricks and stones. It seemed that they were planning to repair the damaged earthen temple and remould the golden body of the Master of Ceremonies Ghost.

Shi Mei said anxiously: "Shizun, the old Master of Ceremonies Ghost is gone but they've made a new one. Will this be cultivated into an immortal body again and do evil?"

Chu Wanning: "I don't know."

"Should we go and persuade them not to?"

Chu Wanning: "The custom of ghost marriages in Caidie Town has been around for several generations. How would you or I be able to persuade them in just a few words? Let's go."

As he spoke, dust flew up from the horse's hoof and he walked away.

It was already dusk when they returned to Life-Death Peak.

Chu Wanning said to the two disciples in front of the mountain gate: "You go to Danxin Hall and explain what happened. I'll go to the Court of Discipline."

Mo Ran looked puzzled: "Why would you go to the Court of Discipline?"

Shi Mei, on the other hand, looked worried: ". . ."

Chu Wanning nonchalantly said: "To receive my punishment."

Although it's said that an emperor commits the same crime as the common people, what emperor would actually have to go to jail for killing someone? The same goes for the cultivation world.

The elders who break the sect rules are as equally guilty as the disciples - in most sects, it's just empty talk.

In fact, if an elder breaks a rule, it was good enough just to write an apology letter. What fool would actually go to be punished with a willow vine or dozens of sticks?

So, after listening to Chu Wanning's explanation, Elder Jielu's complexion turned green.

"No, Elder Yuheng, did you really. . . did you really beat your client?"

Chu Wanning was indifferent: "Yes."

"You're so. . ."

Chu Wanning raised his stare and gave him a sullen look. Elder Jielu shut up.

"According to the law, for breaking this rule, the punishment is two hundred cane strikes, kneeling in Wushan Temple for seven days, and being forbidden from leaving the grounds for three months." Chu Wanning said. "I have no defence, and I voluntarily accept the punishment."

Elder Jielu: ". . ."

He looked around and hooked his fingers, and the door to the Court of Discipline closed with a clang. The surroundings fell silent, and it was only the two of them that stood opposite each other.

Chu Wanning: "What's the meaning of this?"

"Well, Elder Yuheng, it’s not that you don't understand the rules and their consequences, it's just that it shouldn't be something that you should be overly concerned with. This matter is finished. Let's forget it. If I beat you, won't the Lord be angry with me when he finds out?"

Chu Wanning didn't bother to talk such nonsense with him and simply said: "I hold people accountable according to the law, and I should also be held accountable myself according to the law."

Kneeling down in front of the hall, facing the plaque of sect rules, he said:

"Punish me."

[droolik]

I completely forgot about the weepy emotional green eggs and ham animated netflix series that made like half of my timeline seuss yaoi 2 but they werent as hot as the onceler so everyone just abandoned them like nothing

[seriz4wa]

i feel like there’s gonna be yaoi shippers for that new green eggs and ham show

[kokichi-and-co-imagine-blog]

If the V3 cast were to play Monster Prom, who would each character go for?

This is like, my third time trying to write this? I don’t know why it’s taken so many tries; it probably just has to do with getting cut off in the middle of the thought I was on. This may go a little more in depth then you thought it would, but that’s just because I want this to be as thorough as possible.

If you’re interested in Monster Prom, I recommend either buying it or just watching a playthrough of the game before reading this. There are going to be spoilers for certain routes along with secret endings that you can get, so… there. Now that I’ve been super transparent about what this entails, let’s get started.

V3 Dating Some Monsters!

Since this is a MULTIPLAYER DATING SIM, here are the groups of people I think would probably play against each other:GAME 1 -Angie, Himiko, Tenko, TsumugiGAME 2 -Kirumi, Kokichi, Kiibo, KaitoGAME 3 -Shuichi, Kaede, Rantaro, RyomaGAME 4 -Korekiyo, Maki, Miu, Gonta

We’ll talk about each game from top to bottom, ok?

Himiko would be player one after everyone insisted that she gets it (”Nyehhh, what a pain, I have to choose first?”). After picking Brian (Green) because he looked super tired, she waited for everyone else. Angie ended up being player two, and went as Vicky (Blue) because of how cute and happy she looked. Tenko chose Amira (Red) afterward because she seemed like she wouldn’t take crap from anybody along with the fact that she was the only girl left to choose from. Tsumugi was left with Oz (Yellow), but she didn’t mind it much; she thought his simplistic design was perfect for her personality.

Himiko didn’t really go for anyone in particular on her playthrough, although she got the most events with Polly. She did seem to like Valerie (The shopkeeper) but didn’t know that she was romanceable. At the end of the game, Himiko ended up going to prom by herself, and had a good time.

Angie went for Miranda because of how devoted she seemed to be to her kingdom! It was very impressive, and she didn’t bat an eye when she ended up getting the throne ending! Nothing like releasing a kraken to sneak a fish man into the school. (Tenko was a little concerned by Angie’s decisions through this route though, and kept an eye on her for awhile.)

Tsumugi was the only person in the group to try and romance a male, and even then, it was because she already heard of a certain secret ending with Liam- “Liam The Weeb.” She was super excited that they put a character in a game that you could see develop a love for something she has, and also had a good laugh when she muttered to herself about him requiring yaoi hands. After successfully getting it at the end, she already had been thinking of fanfiction ideas for a continuation of this route.

Tenko tried to get with Vera! Unfortunately, she wasn’t the best at reading the situations, and her stats weren’t high enough, not to mention everyone else kept getting a table with her at lunch! How was she supposed to be stepped on with affection by the powerful snake lady?!? When she was turned down at prom, she felt her heart break a little bit, but attacked Himiko with a hug saying that she would be fine as long as the little mage was there.

Before anyone could decide who would be player one, Kokichi took a chance to be Oz, but named him Ligma because Kiibo would inevitably ask the question of, “Why would you name yourself Ligma?” and he was absolutely ready to laugh at his response to the epidemic of ligma. Kirumi went next, choosing Amira because she “seems like a capable young lady.” Kiibo got Brian before Kaito could object to playing a girl, but the astronaut soon got his second wind by saying that girl power would trump the guys. He held his hand out to Kirumi for a high five, which she hesitantly accepted. 

“Ohhhh, I’ve heard how hard it is to get Vera! Don’t worry Kaito, there’s no way you cou-”

“I’M GONNA FUCK A SNAKE WOMAN AND NONE OF YOU CAN STOP ME.”

This is probably the most chaotic of the games due to Kokichi being able to egg on Kaito with no problem. Kokichi also decided to go for Vera, making it that much harder for Kaito. Kaito almost never got the lunch events with Vera, while Kokichi had his own agenda.

“You’re buying a used tampon? I know you’re messed up, but GOD, that’s a whole other level.”

Little did Kaito know that Kokichi had started the cult ritual secret ending, and was planning to finish it. After fumbling around with her and failing to live up to Vera’s expectations, Kaito got turned down at prom, and was pissed when Kokichi got the secret ending! Why hadn’t he been paying attention to what the midget of the group was doing?! He wasn’t sure, but Kokichi was having a good time cackling and “reassuring” Kaito that he was too dumb and not logical enough to have gotten her route anyways.

Kirumi liked how Liam carried himself, and was more than happy to try romancing him. She seemed to have relaxed while playing this game despite the constant bickering of the grapes in the room. With no failed events, Kirumi went to prom with Liam, and appreciated how secretly funny he was under his hipster demeanor.

Kiibo was being crushed constantly by Kokichi and Kaito after making the grave mistake of sitting between them. He did his best not to let that get to him, but he was distracted for the majority of the game because of him. Before he could choose the last question of the personality quiz at the beginning, his hand was knocked and he accidentally got started on Damien’s route. He spent the majority of the time asking Kirumi questions about if it was normal to be that angry and destructive. He was especially concerned about how Damien had dead bodies in his home! However, he successfully took the demon to prom.

(After his failure, Kaito spent hours playing the game and trying to get all the endings possible. He ended up getting stuck on romancing Valerie.)

From the very beginning of this game, Shuichi and Kaede promised each other that they wouldn’t get in each other’s way, and would help each other should special events requiring the extra boosts in affection come up. Rantaro was happy to do his own thing along with Ryoma. This was probably the calmest group of people to play the game.

Rantaro chose Oz before others could, just changing the name to his own so that no one would get confused. Shuichi chose Amira, but Kaede asked if she could change the name for him without him looking. When he eventually turned back, he was named “Sweetchi

Rantaro decided he liked how excitable Polly was, and how every event with her was like an adventure. He liked being a part of her party scientist shenanigans, and watching her tell a sugar daddy to marry a llama. Which he did. He got the secret Party Science ending with her, and was super calm. Originally though, before dating Polly, he really hoped that Aaravi The Slayer was romanceable.

Kaede accidentally started the Blobert route, which made everyone’s day (”you can date… a blob with a hat?” “You’re just jealous of his hat, aren’t you?”). Getting to give everyone ridiculously specific greeting cards, including a corpse. Regardless, she was super happy to hear how much everyone loves Blobert, and decided that he would always be her favorite. (Shuichi was taking some mental notes through this playhthrough.)

Shuichi ended up going to prom with Miranda as a ghost. It was an accident that he even got on her route, and he still wanted to at least have a successful run. He went to the shop and saw the ghost costume, he was too interested to not buy it. Going through all the cutscenes, he thought Liam getting frustrated was a little cute (Though he wouldn’t dare admit that to anyone) and was happy when he managed to go to prom as a spooky little guy!

Ryoma saw the gentleness in Scott’s heart, and was taken by it. he wanted Scott to be the happiest boy in the world and stay unaware of the hardships that come with life. He ended up successfully going to prom with the werewolf, and was surprised at how fun it was to play a game with other people at the same time. He could probably get used to this.

“I don’t care what fuckin’ player I am, titless- just lease me the fire girl because she’s SMOKIN’ like yours truly!”

“... I think I’m already regretting playing this game with you.”

After Miu made a big deal out of it, she ended up with Amira. Maki chose Vicky, changing the name to her own. Korekiyo chose Brian, but named him Shiso Asobi. once again, no one knew what was with the ridiculous name. Gonta was left with Oz, but he had no problem with that! He did, however, have problems with changing his name. His hands were a bit too big for the keyboard.

“REVERSE ROMANIAN WILKINSON? I don’t know what she’s on, but I fuckin’ LOVE her!”Miu was all over Polly and how ridiculous she could be, including her Reverse Romanian Wilkinson ending. She wasn’t sure what the penguin mask was for along with the guacamole and bag of beads, but just imagining what it was getting her hot all over. She successfully pulled it off, and then proceeded to bother Kiibo about trying it with her.

Maki was attracted to the way Scott acted like a certain astronaut she knew, so she just couldn’t ignore him. getting the correct choices on his route was super easy for her, and she smiled just enough to get Miu on her case for a little bit. At the end of the game, she wondered if she’s been wanting a man who’s essentially like a puppy.

Gonta didn’t want to romance anyone! He just wanted to have the best time he could making people happy. Unfortunately for him, his actions brought him to the orgy ending. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he was asking everyone around him why they weren’t wearing clothes. Miu was yelling angrily because she hadn’t been informed that such a route even existed, and Maki just sighed out of frustration. Korekiyo wasn’t surprised given the rest of the games content, but he found humor in Gonta being the one to get such an ending.

Korekiyo wasn’t originally going after anyone. He just wanted to experience what it was like to play a game about dating people with, well... other people. However, when he basically summoned a powerful monster from the totem of zgord, he changed his playing style to fit accordingly. With a high enough charm stat and being able to take a tentacle monster to the prom, everyone was slightly disturbed, besides Miu. She just wished that she could be a part of that action.

[duskwod]

joji tell me the story of the jojo who layed an egg

One day in a yaoi fanfic someone decided to make it about where kakyoin lives and he’s in a relationship with Jotaro. Then one day with no logicial reasoning an egg appeared generating the classic jojoke “Kakyoin did you lay this egg?” And out of this egg came out a child that looks like Jotaro and with its own stand that pretty much looks like Star Platinum but green. The stand’s name was get this, Charmy Green. Also to keep the trend of jojo kids being called well jojo they named him Jouta. Now what makes Jouta even more infamous is that an actual animation studio called CLAMP animated scenes of this fanfic egg baby. I have no idea what exactly the animation was gonna be about. Maybe a pilot? Doesn’t really matter because I know for sure Araki wouldn’t have allowed it, he did however give Jotaro an actual kid and she’s the main protag in part 6.