#great great really yep totally all my fault that makes complete sense

[kiatheinsomniac]

when ur family who don't contact you tell you that no matter how successful are, you're gonna be alone bc you don't contact them and they didn't even contact you directly to do it, they tell someone else to tell you :')

[chezzywezzy]

Yandere Brahms Heelshire (2/5)

Word count ; 4.0k

Songs : Cries in Vain 

*Edited:3

Bring… Bring…

From beside me, the phone suddenly started up. Who’s calling this late in the evening? It was already eight p.m. I sighed, setting my bookmark in the almost completed sci-fi novel.

I rolled to the other side of the bed, accidentally squishing Brahms into me, and lifted up the old-fashioned device. “Hullo?” I greeted in annoyance.

“Oh my god, bitch.”

“Ryleigh? Oh my god! Thank god you called, there’s no signal or WIFI or anything out here so my cell phone doesn’t work!” I exclaimed, fully scrambling to the phone.

“Girl, I’ve been spamming you like crazy! And who the hell wouldn’t have WIFI these days, are you good?” she complained.

“I know right? Dude, this place is crazy, but in the tamest way possible - god, I really need to catch you up. Also, I love you and miss you dearly, you should definitely come the hell over here for vacay.”

“Woah, woah, unlike you, I’m a sane person who doesn’t bunk in a stranger’s house in a completely new country. But… I could be swayed. Anyways, tell me the tea.”

“Well, I’m doing a job for potential crazy people. I’m… babysitting a doll. I think they’re still grieving the death of their kid, because Brahms definitely existed at some point. But these people are super old.”

“Seriously? Makes sense they don’t have WIFI if they’re crazy old people.”

“Yep. Checks out. On the plus side, I’m babysitting a doll and I’m living in a house that’s the size of a castle. I’ve been in at least ten rooms, but there’s four floors, and if there’s about six rooms down each hallway… Hell, there could be up to fifty rooms. It’s insane, one of these days I gotta go exploring.”

“Fucking definitely. Maybe it’s one of those old houses that has secret passage ways in the closets,” she agreed.

“Mhm, exactly. And besides this, I’m really able to just… relax and work on myself. I’ve gotten back into jogging and eating healthy. I have so much time to do self-care. I used to describe myself as a people person, but it’s so great to be by myself t.b.h.”

“I get that. I know I usually don’t talk seriously, but I was worried. Especially with all the problems Jason caused. That guy’s psycho and your mental health was destroyed from that. I’m proud of you for making the right decision.”

“Thanks, babe. So, what’s been going on back home?”

“T.b.h., I should definitely take the same path you did. There’s still no work available in this town, and my part-time job won’t take me back,” Ryleigh fussed. “Oh, b.t.w, people are missing you. I keep telling friends you went abroad and they congratulated you. And were you serious about vacay-ing to England? ‘Cause I’m totally down for that.”

“You’re always welcome. I don’t know when they’re coming back, but in a mansion, it’ll be easy for you to sneak around once they come back.”

“If they’re so rich, there’s gotta be some hella good wine, right?” she inquired. “All rich snobs have that.”

“No, sorry, I tossed it all out. You know I’m trying to sober up. No beer, no wine, no coke - nothing,” I replied, sitting up and pulling Brahms to my chest.

“Aw, man. Oh - I forgot to tell you the most important part of the day, although I’m not sure you want to hear it,” she chuckled nervously.

“Oh, god. Spill.”

“Well, uh, the other day I had to call the police because a certain dickwad broke into my apartment,” she started.

“Oh my god. Oh, my god. I’m so, so sorry —“

“Girl! No! Shut the fuck up, no. Anyways, let me continue. After a thorough investigation of my house, I don’t think he found what he was looking for. And he definitely had at least a few days in prison - that is, if his rich bitch parents don’t bail him out again.”

“Holy shit. Ryleigh, I’m sorry he’s harassing you again,” I apologized, trying to hold in the tears.

“No way are you apologizing. This isn’t your fault. At all. Jason’s insane. He’s a bad person. You don’t deserve this and neither do I, but eventually he’ll let up. And besides, he can’t find you and I’m definitely gonna kick his ass the next time he shows his face.”

“That town ain’t big enough for the both of you, huh?” I giggled, already sufficiently comforted by my best friend.

“Exactly! See, you get it. Hey, do you have a pen?”

“Yeah,” I said, reaching over and tearing a piece of a page out. Sorry, book.

“My number is - ***-****-****.”

“Okay, thanks. I’ll call you tomorrow night, aight? You called me right as I was winding down for the night.”

“You’re kidding! Isn’t it only eight or something?”

“Yeah, I know, but I’ve really managed my sleep schedule the past few days.”

“I applaud you for your efforts. Call me in the morning for you because no way in hell am I waking up this early again. Like, I love you, but mornings are ew.”

“Got it. But won’t you already be drunk by five?”

“Ha-ha. Very funny. Love you, bye bitch.”

“Bye bitch, love you too.”

I hung up and set the phone down. If there was anything I missed currently other than the occasional urge was my best friend. But it was worrisome. Hopefully… No, Jason wasn’t going to find me. Things were fine.

“And, on this note, Brahms, I’m hella tired, my tiny porcelain dude. Time to hit the hay while my stalker is potentially on the way.”

~~~

Make the bed, check. Brush my teeth, check. Kiss the cute doll good morning, check. So, having completed my morning rituals, I picked up Brahms and opened my bedroom door. Why I felt the need to close it in the first place, I had no clue.

I opened the door, but I was surprised when a paper fluttered across the floor. “Huh?” I crouched down, picking up the yellow sheet. My heart raced as I recognized the cursive writing —

Brahms’ rule sheet.

I gulped and decided to observe my surroundings. Brahms’ room was across from mine. The door was wide open. There must’ve been a consistent draft last night… Yes, that made sense.

I grabbed the paper and balled it up in my fists. That paper seriously pissed me off for giving me such a fright. I tossed it into the room and shut the door.

“Man, Brahms, that scared the hell out of me. For a second, I lived in a world where you were haunted,” I tittered. “Anyways - time to fix the trauma with some toast.”

I evacuated the hallway and raced to the kitchen. I was in my yoga pants and crop top, as I was probably going to go for a run soon. Nothing was more refreshing than being covered head to toe in sweat and barely being able to walk, you know?

So, I spent my morning productively. I finished showering just around lunch time and went to the kitchen, where I’d left Brahms sitting in one of the high seats. I should make a tuna Sala sandwich for lunch —

“Ah, Miss Y/n, I was wondering where you were!”

I screamed when, upon entering the kitchen, Malcolm made an appearance. The kitchen was probably stocked up, but for the second time, the man had scared the hell out of me - and it was unwelcome after the incident that morning.

“Malcolm! We’ve got to stop meeting like this,” I exclaimed, glaring playfully when he keeled over laughing.

“And you’ve got to be more on guard, Miss Y/n,” he managed out. “I do make my rounds every weekend, after all.”

I huffed. “Touche.” I leaned against the counter. “Sticking around for lunch? I do make a mean sandwich.”

“Well, not to be a free-loader, but I figured you could use some company. Plus, I’m sure you have a lot of questions, since I know the… doll situation is odd,” he accepted.

I got to work, taking out a bowl and the necessary ingredients. “Well, it’s not really any of my business. All I needed to know is that Brahms is a great teddy bear.”

“Really now?” he snickered. “The doll tends to creep me out, but to each their own.”

“I like dolls. I know people usually think that because they’re human-like they’re creepy, but I find comfort in a mini-human friend,” I giggled. I dumped tuna, cheese, and mayonnaise into the bowl, stirring. “How’s your week been?”

“As good as any. If you couldn’t tell, except for this part of my job, working at a store’s pretty boring. This is the most interesting part of my week - not to mention, I’m talking to a pretty girl.”

“Smooth,” I tutted, poking his chest teasingly. Malcolm was a fairly attractive man, I acknowledged that. But I wasn’t planning to make any moves until I thoroughly got to know him. I felt too hollow from all the friends with benefits I had, and not to mention my experience with Jason. So this time, I wanted to enter a real, good, serious relationship. “Can you get out some bread and plates? We can boil some vegetables, if you’d like.”

“Only sandwiches for now.” He did as asked, so I spread the mixture on some bread and formed the sandwiches. I finished my work with a satisfied sigh, quick to take a bite. “My my, manners, we should sit down first.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “God, that’s such a British thing to say. ‘My my! Manners!’” I imitated.

He shook his head with a grin. “You’re in a country full of us, so watch it, lady.”

“How intimidating. Anyways, aren’t my sandwiches incredible? I’d make a great housewife,” I bragged, digging into the food as I sat at the dining table.

“Don’t quite be so full of yourself, I have yet to see evidence that you can take care of Brahms, a doll,” he teased. “But yes, it’s delectable.”

“Hey now, I said ‘wife,’ not mom,” I defended with a pout. “Besides, that’s a little sexist. Maybe I don’t want kids.”

“O - Oh, I’m sorry, it wasn’t my intention —“

“Calm your tits lover boy, I was just joshing you,” I reassured. “How can I not when you’ve got such a ‘delectable’ accent?”

We finished our sandwiches, and I noted that the house probably needed some general repairs, as I heard distant creeks all over the house. I collected his plates after a polite back-and-forth about doing the dishes.

“Are you planning to stick around or do you have work?” I asked, stacking the plates.

“Well, aside from the delivering groceries and eating your lunch, I was planning to ask you out. I figured you’ve been cooped up in the house enough that maybe you’d be interested in watching a movie?”

I bit my lip. A movie. Not the pub, not a club, and not a bar. What could go wrong? Malcolm was nice and I could use the excursion. “Sure, yeah. No pressure, but it’s solely depending on you for me to have a good time,” I said with a wink while heading into the kitchen.

“Well, m’lady, I’ll try not to disappoint. I’ll pick you up at six-thirty.”

~~~

I stared at my suitcase, comparing my options. It was technically a date, so wouldn’t it be good to wear a dress? But we were still just going to see a movie, and it’s not like it was formal… I bit my lip and stared at the doll. Smiling mockingly, I held up an outfit of jeans and a t-shirt and the dress.

“Well, Brahmsy? What do ya think?” I took a second, eyes switching between the two outfits. “You’re right, jeans and shirt makes me look hot.” I laughed jovially, tossing the dress onto the bed and disappearing into the bathroom.

Long story short, I had a shower. A nice, comfortable shower. Once I hopped out, I almost had a heart attack when I saw the bathroom door cracked open. Ever since the paper accident, I’d been paranoid like an idiot. I was about to get dressed she I heard a loud thud from the hallway.

“Malcolm?” I called, but there was no reply.

I wasted no time pulling on my clothes before investigating, because if I’d learned anything from horror movies, it was that dying in a towel was embarrassing.

I wrapped my hair up in the towel and sighed when another knock sounded in the hallway. “Malcolm, just give me a moment!” I shouted. I paused when I saw the bedroom door slightly cracked.

I didn’t leave the door open.

No, no, Malcolm must’ve arrived. I sighed and tossed the towel on the bed instead. I didn’t want to keep him waiting. Out of habit, I waved to the doll as I exited, having grabbed my purse.

Wait, where was my dress? God, I was such a klutz, did I take it into the bathroom? Whatever.

A creak came from the hallway. Oh. I bet Malcolm was trying to scare me. To keep the joke running, right? I clutched my purse to my side, rolling my eyes as I entered into the dimly lit hallway.

“Ha-ha, very funny, Malcolm —"

I wildly investigated my surroundings. There was no Malcolm. Was I just hearing things? I knew he had a sense of humor, but the man would never dedicate to the bit this thoroughly.

No, I knew what I heard —

Why was the room door open? Okay, I was scared. I let out a squeak and went to retrieve my little inanimate buddy. Cradling the doll in my arms, I was able to gather enough confidence to investigate further.

“Well, Brahms, looks like we’ve got a potential home invader,” I whispered. Other than being my emotional support, Brahms was a weapon; and no way in hell was I hallucinating what I heard. Someone was in the house with me.

I entered Brahms’ bedroom. I steeled myself. My eyes surveyed two potential hiding spots. Under the bed and in the closet. I stepped into the room, taking one glance around. Anxiety took over. Nope, nope, nope, I wasn’t equipped with a proper weapon. Time to escape this house.

But then something caught my eye. I couldn’t help it as my feet automatically trudged over to the bedside table. Brahms’ rules. I reached out, lifting the paper. Was that heart always scribbled on the paper? Was I simply overreacting, and it was a copy that’d always been there?

I squinted my eyes.

Oh.

Oh, no.

The paper was crumpled. No, not crumpled, un-crumpled.

This was the paper I’d thrown.

As if on cue, the bedroom door slammed shut. A scream tore at my throat, ready to dart into the corner, but I had been locked in. My brain went on autopilot and, tossing Brahms onto the bed, I rushed over to the door. I jiggled the knob in vain.

“Help! Please! Take what you want and leave!” I screamed desperately. Tears were streaming down my cheeks. I couldn’t see. The world was spinning around me.

I was trapped. There was someone in the house. I was in danger. Malcolm. I needed to get out, Malcolm would save me. Don’t lose your head, Y/n.

I stumbled back and fell onto the bed. Focus. Focus, Y/n. “Ceiling,” I choked out. “Ceiling, lightbulb. Lightbulb.” I felt around the bed, grasping and pulling the sheets until I felt the doll’s hands. “Doll. Brahms. Brahms. Doll. Ceiling. Lightbulb. Bed. Brahms. Brahms.” I held the porcelain child in my arms, rocking it. “It’s okay, Brahms. You’re okay. I’m… okay… Breathe, Y/n…”

I forced my eyes shut. I focused. Come on, Y/n, nothing would be solved by panicking. You were strong. You had to be. Whoever was in the house clearly wasn’t trying to hurt you. They were just trying to rob the house. That’s why they locked you in. Yes, that’s why I was locked in.

I opened my eyes and pushed Brahms off. I could do it. I sat up, getting right to work. I could try to break the window. “Brahms, keep watch,” I announced, determination in my tone. I went over to the dresser, grabbing the old toys and hurling the against the window. Every single one bounced right off, clattering on the ground. But, cracks were beginning to form, and that motivated me.

The window was small. And I was on the second story. I knew the glass would cut me, and the fall would hurt. But I had to get out. I would get out. And that’s when the miracle worker ended up right in my hands. A paper weight made of stone. I stood right in front of the window and hurled the rock at top speed.

The glass shattered. But the wood barricade was still intact. So, I raised my foot kicked clean through. Pain shot through my body as the glass cut through my jeans and stabbed into my leg.

I began pushing it out further, and every time I lost balance, it cut deeper. However, I kept pushing. Even with blood pooling at my feet. I kept pushing.

I let out a gasp of relief when it shot through. I stabilized myself. I thought things were going swimmingly, but I suddenly heard footsteps racing towards the door. Oh no. I had to move fast.

The knob was being turned. Come on, Y/n, move. I pushed the other half of my body through the window. The glass tore at my chest, my waist, everywhere. Blood and sweat was mixing together.

The door suddenly slammed open. The footsteps were approaching. With one last push, I sent myself hurling out the window, not without the twist of my foot on the way down.

I screamed.

My vocal cords were fried the whole way down. I didn’t have enough strength to coordinate my limbs, to protect my head, as I fell. All I could do was flip my body over mid-air.

“Malcolm!” I screeched.

The final thing I saw was a looming figure with short, dark hair from the second floor. And then things went black.

~~~

Laughter. Laughter was coming from the living room. My feet automatically moved towards the sound. One of the laughs, I knew like the back of my hand. But the other was unfamiliar, a high-pitched, bell-toned giggling from a woman.

Before my eyes could behold the scene, I could already smell the smoke. I entered the living room to confirm, that indeed, Jason was on the couch with a woman, smoking. They had been engrossed in a conversation, but paused when I entered the room.

“Hey sweet cheeks,” the woman grinned, winking. She was leaning on the couch, facing my boyfriend.

“Hi, who are you?” I inquired carefully. Jason had already scolded me for losing my shit last time I found strangers in the apartment. He said I was emotionally out of control. That I didn’t know how to think straight because I was jealous and insecure. So, I bit back a bitchy tone. I didn’t make assumptions.

Jason waved his hand, the smoke trailing. “Vanessa. My coworker.” He was staring intently at me. He was waiting for me to ask questions. To get upset. To make assumptions.

I wasn’t going to. Not now. I wasn’t going to… be that way. The way he said I acted. I should just focus on fixing my hangover. I could trust him. He was just trying to get a reaction. Vanessa was just a coworker.

I walked past them. Suddenly, the lights flickered. I paused. The lights flickered again, but this time, they flashed read. They kept flashing. My vision was getting blurry. I stumbled back.

The scene around me changed. I was in an empty hallway. The walls were metal. I was walking backwards, even though I was supposed to fall. I felt like I was falling.

A figure. His figure approached. With each flash, he was closer. In the cascade of red light, I saw his expression. The same expression he had when he was angry. Furrowed brows, a ferocious glare. But he always had a smirk. Not a grimace, a smirk. As if he enjoyed it when he was angry at me.

And then he was in front of me. And I fell. Back onto the metal, even if it felt like a fluffy cushion. I couldn’t feel anything. I was petrified as he loomed over me. He was a predator stalking his prey. The shadows swallowed his face, but I saw his eyes. His eyes filled to the brim with sexual intent.

I couldn’t breathe. My face was forced to the side by a slap. The slap echoed the hall. My ears were ringing. I couldn’t breathe. There was beeping in my head. I couldn’t breathe. The beeping was so loud, I couldn’t see. I couldn’t breathe.

I gasped and shot up, being met with an instant surge of pain through my body. Tears immediately sprung to my eyes when I felt restraints on my arms. My vision blurred and I struggled against the restraints.

Hands grabbed my body. They grabbed my arms, pushing me onto the bed. The light was dim and a person towered over me. It was him. It was him. It was him —

“Y/n, calm down, you’re safe!”

I froze upon recognizing the British accent. Malcolm. Malcolm…

I clasped his hands and intertwined my fingers with his desperately. Malcolm was here, so things were safe now. I blinked and breathed. In and out. In and out. In and out.

“Malcolm,” I whispered tediously.

I became ruefully aware that I was shaking. I took in my surroundings. The pale-tiled ceiling. The beeping from a heart rate machine, of which had spiked. The rails of a hospital bed. My leg in a cast. And best of all, Malcolm, peering down at me with nothing evil in his eyes, only concern and care.

My lips trembled and I tried not to cry again. I already embarrassed myself enough. I let go of one of his hands, clutching his other closer.

“Y/n, what happened? I drove up to the house and heard you screaming, next thing you know I found a shattered window and you. I was scared to death,” he started shakily.

“I love your accent,” I rambled. “Your accent - the best. That accent is phenomenal. I - I… There was an intruder. I was taking a shower, and then, and then, I heard something in the other room, so I checked, then I was locked in, and then, I - I needed to escape, so I tried to leave through the window, but I had to be quick because the person came in, and then I… I fell. But! But I saw him, her, whoever. They watched me as I fell. I swear it, Malcolm, someone was trying to hurt me.”

He clasped my shoulder and massaged it slightly. It calmed my nerved. “I believe you. I’ll send the police right over to investigate, okay? But you’re okay now, you just need to rest.”

I shut my eyes. “…But what if that person goes back?”

“The police will deal with it. Just rest. I’ll be right here.”

“Wh… what happened to me?”

“You have an almost broken leg and the glass cut you pretty hard. The doctors said you lucked out, since there’s no head trauma and no permanent damage,” Malcolm explained slowly.

“Oh… I’m sorry you have to deal with this, Malc —“

“Don’t apologize. Although this isn’t exactly how I thought the first date would go, the hospital is a little romantic, don’t you agree?”

I couldn’t help but grin. “Didn’t think you were a sadist.”

“Only when it suits me, my dear.”

[thewritetofreespeech]

MC + Cursed Toddler-fied Boys

prompt: All the boys suffer the same fate as Satan by reading ‘The Forbidden Book of Toddlerization’

Lucifer

You have to wonder why they kept so many cursed books around, just out like this. You would think, like any normal person, with this continuing to happen, that they would keep them locked up or something. But no. They just leave them out for anyone to find….

“I’m going to the meeting!” Lucifer yelled, stamping his foot. His face twist in a petulant frown. It would be rather adorable, if you hadn’t been arguing with him for the past 20 minutes

“Lucifer, we talked about this. You can’t go to the meeting. You need to stay here.”

“No! I wanna go to the meeting! It’s very important and everyone is counting on me!” His arms are wailing now as he stamped his foot more.

Of course, you couldn’t let him go to the first of the month meeting like this. His pride would be wounded beyond compare if anyone else saw him like this. But reasoning with him wasn’t working. You had to resort to more, unsavory tactic to win. “But the meeting was cancelled. Lord Diavolo called earlier to let me know.”

Lucifer stopped stamping his feet and waving his arms to look at you with a vacant expression you didn’t know he could muster. “Really?”

Gods help you. “Yes, really.”

He seemed to think about this for a moment before he beamed, “ok!” His mood instantly brightening. “I believe you, because [Y/N] would never lie to me.” ‘Forgive me Lucifer’ You think to yourself. “What are we gonna do instead then?”

“Why don’t we play a game instead to pass the time? Would you like that?”

“I know chess!” He exclaimed loudly. “Let’s play that.”

Of course, knowing and being good at it were two different things. In this state you were actually able to beat Lucifer several times. When he retuned to normal the day was ‘conveniently’ put away for sometime after.

Mammon

“Mammon. Please. I’ll just be gone for a minute.”

“Nooooooo!” Mammon wailed when you tried to get up again. Clinging to your waist tightly to keep you on the couch. “Onii-chan said you had to stay with me! Stay with me! Stay with me!”

After reading The Forbidden Book of Toddlerization, Mammon had, of course, reverted to the personality of a small child. His brother made fun of him, say ‘what’s the difference’, but Lucifer knew that this could be a disaster if he was set to wander free in this state across the Devildom. So he sat you to babysit him.

“Mammon, I promise I’ll be right back. I’m just going to get us some snacks for our movie.”

“Then let me come with you!” He whined, still clinging to you. In this state it seemed he had also taken on the personality of a baby duck. Imprinting on you and following you around everywhere you went in his room. He hadn’t left you alone for 5 seconds since he got this way. “I promise I’ll be good!”

“It’s not a question of you being good or bad Mammon-chan.” He liked to be called Mammon-chan right now. “It’s that you need to stay here. If someone sees you like this well…they could use it to tease you.”

“No…I don’t want to be teased anymore….” His voice was low, and sad. His bright eyes looking on the verge of tears, like kids do when they’re said, before he buried his face into your side. “Mammon-chan doesn’t want to be made fun of anymore. Mammon-chan also doesn’t want to be alone anymore.”

You sigh. Unable to argue with him when he was like this. Your hand lifted to pet his head, which he seemed to appreciate, before you text Satan to bring you some snacks. He was always reliable and would do it for you.

Once the affects of the book had worn off, Mammon denied any of this happening. The mere mention would cause his face to turn red and yell about how, “that didn’t happen!” You almost wish you had taken a video of it to show him. Guess you would just have to keep Mammon-chan forever in your heart.

Levi

You went to Levi’s room after class to check on him in his….condition.

Since he did remote learning a lot of the time, being an otaku, it was pretty easy to keep him away from people so they did see him in the current state he was in. Apparently as a toddler he didn’t like being around people either.

So, you had set him up comfortably in his room before heading to class. Promising to come back that afternoon to be with him.

“Levi! I’m back! How are you—what are you doing?!?!”

“Playing with my toys.” Levi replied, with an obvious expression, as a sea of toys stretch out in front of him where he laid on his belly on the floor.

Your brain stopped. Completely at a loss for words. Levi was going to kill you when he returned to normal, because toddler-Levi, left unattended, had unboxed nearly all of his figurines from their packaging. Some of which were incredibly rare, and unable to get anymore.

“I just…I mean…Why?? Why would you do this??”

“They’re my toys.” Levi replied with a pout. Sitting up. “I can do what I want with them. What’s the point in having neat toys if you aren’t going to play with them??”

He did have a point there. But adult-Levi was going to be so mad!

“Do you want to play with me?” The demon asked with a hopeful expression. “You can even be blue Ruri-chan.” The limited edition, color swap Ruri-chan from 1999. He was gonna blow a gasket!

“Yeah. Ok.” But then again, when were you ever going to be able to touch them again.

As expected, Levi totally lost it when he came to his senses. Of course, there was no one to blame but himself, in the end, so he just had to be upset and mope alone. Thankfully, none of them were broken or beyond just out of their originally packaging. He bought them all clear showcase boxes for his ‘ruined’ figurines. Some of them he could rebuy to replace; which seemed to make him happy to have two.

Satan

It had been hours since the affects of the book had taken ahold of Satan. You were starting to wonder if they would ever wear off.

Lucifer had left in search of another book, one that might help speed the process along, and left his younger brother in your care. Of course you were happy to help, but you were getting nervous you would never see the old Satan again.

“[Y/N]-chan?” You look up from your phone, waiting for Lucifer to text you back, to see the blonde demon looking timidly at you from around the corner. 

“What is it Satan?”

“Would you….read to me?” His hands holding out the small children’s book he had some how found in the piles of books covering his room.

You smile softly at him. Your heart warmed by his request. “Of course,” you tell him, and the demon scampered over to sit on the bed beside you. His long legs and body tucked neatly into you as he waited for you to tell him the story of a little lost chicken and it’s journey back home. “[Y/N] tells the best stories!”

After 3 stories, he had fallen asleep. When he woke up, Satan was back to normal. He doesn’t answer your questions on where the children’s books had come from, but you spot the red & gold spines on his book shelves sometimes.

Asmo

There was no denying that Asmo was fascinated by art and all things beautiful. He went on and on about it any chance he got. So you shouldn’t have really been surprised when his toddlerfied self just wanted to draw all day.

“Look, look [Y/N]-chan! I finished another one!”

“That’s great Asmo.” You praise. Just like you had done with all the other ones he had handed to you. “Wow! This is really great! Is that a….chicken?”

“No, silly! That’s the white horse for our carriage when we get married!” The demon beamed, then shuffled over on his knees to instruct you on his picture properly. “That’s you, and that’s me. That’s the princess carriage that’s going to ride us off into the sunset. That’s Solomon and Simeon throwing flowers at us. That’s my brothers crying because I got to marry [Y/N]-chan and they didn’t.”

“You certainly seem to have all the parts here.” You praise. Giggling at his enthusiasm and picture.

“I want to have a perfect picture of when we get married. Because I love [Y/N]-chan! And we’re gonna get married and live happily ever after.” He replied, with certainty, with a smile.

“Well, I’ll be glad for that. Why don’t you draw me our perfect house for after we get married?” Asmo scampered off and did just that.

When Asmo came to, and back to his normal self, he took all the pictures he had drawn and framed them. Forcing his brothers and Solomon to take a tour of his mini-art gallery. The piece ‘Marriage of Two Bonded Souls’ was met with some controversy.

Beel

Beel, in his younger days, seemed to have boundless energy. Or you at least had to assume he did, because ever since he had read that stupid book he had been running around.

Lucifer had told you to take him outside. Irritated at hearing his large feet clump around the house, but trying not to show it since it wasn’t his fault. He even let you both take Cerberus outside to help run Beel out. It would be good for the pup too. Get some exercise, he said.

That had been sometime ago, and it seemed baby-Beel and Cerberus were an even match in energy. They had been running around, chasing each other, and play fighting in the back yard all afternoon. You were tired just watching them.

“Beel! Do you want to come in? I think it’s time for a break.”

Both Beel and Cerberus pop their heads up, in a comical and adorable unison head tilt, before jogging over to you. “Break time means snack time right?!”

You chuckle a little. Somethings never changed. “I brought some apple slices & peanut butter for you, for now. We can get you something bigger when we go inside.”

Beel grinned and sat in the grass with the container. “I like apple slices!”

“You do hn?” You don’t think you’ve seen Beel eat an actual fruit on its own. It was usually attached to, baked in, or covered in something, to get him to eat it.

“Yep! They’re crunchy and sweet. Just like you! Though, I guess you aren’t crunchy. Do you want one of my apple slices [Y/N]?”

You blush a little at Beel’s bright, unwavering expression. How could he look so innocent while still looking like that?

He finished his apple slices, minus one, before asking if he could go play again. You let him, but then all of a sudden he spotted playing with Cerberus and stood straight up. Seeming confused on how he got out here and what was going on. “Did I eat an apple? I haven’t had one since….do you think we have more in the kitchen?”

Belphie

It was honestly hard to tell if Belphie was under the spell of the forbidden book or not. He’d been asleep for most of the time; which was not uncommon for him. Then he would wake up and whine a little about something; again, not uncommon for him. Then he would take another nap.

You had figure out that he was still under it’s spell by the requests he was making when he woke up. Juice boxes. More plushies. His ‘blankie’. Eventually it would run its course though, and Belphie would be back to his own sleepy eyed, grown up self. “[Y/N]?”

You walk over to the bed when the demon called your name. The boy half sitting up, but still tucked under his covers. “What is it Belphie?”

“I can’t sleep.” He stated. Which seemed ridiculous since he had been sleeping most of the day. “I miss Lilli. And Be-be. Can you sleep with me?”

You blink at little at the request. You supposed it made since. Kids often wanted someone to sleep with them, so they didn’t have bad dreams or could keep them safe. Maybe that’s why he had been sleeping so much. Because he hadn’t been sleeping well, just sleep.

“Sure Belphie. I’ll lay down with you.” The demon smiled softly, sleepy, before he scooted over to give you some space to lay next to him.

He slept for a while this last time. Clinging onto you in his sleep, with a soft smile on his face. When he woke up, it seemed he was back to normal. “Gosh [Y/N]. If you wanted to sleep with me, all you had to do was ask. You didn’t have to trick me with that lame book.”

[purplerose244]

My thoughts on Seabound!!! 🌊🌊🌊 (1/4)

SPOILERS ALERT!!!

Finally Nya's season! Our queen, our water goddess, our amazing girl gets what she deserves! 😍😍😍

What I know about the season beforehand is that Nya's powers apparently are getting problematic for some reasons? Which is a pretty common topic in other shows but it's a first in Ninjago, usually the elemental powers don't have focus and I LOVE that we now get to see stuff like that 💕💕💕

I know there should be Wojira involved, trusting The Island to deliver that little foreshadowing at the end of the episode 🤷‍♀️ Also Maya is back... MAYA IS FINALLY BACK AFTER SEVEN SEASONS YES!!! 😭😭😭

I have nothing else to say, I have no idea what this will bring, hopefully something as good as Master of the Mountain! 🖤

Alright, here we go!

GENERAL THOUGHTS

Warning reader, I might be fangirling to an extreme because I love mah girl Nya and I've been wanting Kai and Nya's parents to be back ever since Hands of Time ended. So yeah... screaming alert 😅

At this point I don't doubt that the intro is great, we reached such a level of animation and we got The Fold 😍😍 Love the marine vibe and how it's similar to The Island, because it's a great intro 👌

NOW I like the writing! Maybe they rushed the dialogue's quality for The Island to get here? It's just fun and in character, maybe it's just me but I'm enjoying it a lot for now

How many episodes are in this? Wiki says ten, then I checked again and it's sixteen like with Master of Mountain... eh, it looks good so far so it's fine whatever happens 🤷‍♀️

A BIG SPLASH

Oohhh, new villain! One that uses... flames... huh, does she know there's literally a master of fire in the ninja team? Eh whatever she looks cute, give it up for Miss Demeanor!! 👏👏

Wait... OMG IS THAT ERIN MATTHEWS??? WE GOT MACY!! ❤❤❤

Whoa, we're finding out where did the order of the vengestone from season 13 come from?? YAS! CONTINUITY!

Yep, there it is, Nya lost control... her attacks look so cool 😍

Lol that kid trying to be a nindroid and Zane being offended 😂😂 Sorry hun, you're that popular

Aaahhh, thank you Ninjago! You gave me back Nya the perfectionist 😂 I was worried her reaction to her powers wasn't going to be in character but it looks fair so far. Brings me back to Possession, my favorite season 💙💙💙

WE GOT BACK THE FACT THAT SHE CAN MAKE IT RAIN!!! YAS!!! I might be easy to please but I love these details 🤩

🤯🤯🤯 Okay they are definitely going somewhere this time and I LOVE IT, because wow. WOW. Are we actually addressing the forever questioned fact that wind and water weren't elements that Chen needed at the Tournament? Are we giving a reason for them to exist outside the main set of elements and the elemental masters?? Duuuude, season 15 don't let me stop you, keep going 😍

Mm, so water and wind are connected to Wojira (now I see the connection with the special). Are we setting the ground for a new master of wind? 😏😏 It's risky going for a Morro replacement but it's a super intriguing idea! Oooor Edgy Boy TM might come back? WHO KNOWS I'M CURIOUS ANYWAY 🤩

Love how it is universal knowledge that Nya is super indipendent 👌

YES YES FINALLY WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MAYA!!! 😍😍😍 Is it too much hoping into a Ray cameo as well?? Pleaaaase? Also addressing Krux after so many seasons, this feels exciting!! 😊

This is what I'm talking about, training, fighting scenes, show me everything that water goddess can do! 🌊🌊🌊

Aaahhh, Nya flexing her mightiness through anger, just to remind us that she is the descendant of a water master as much as of a fire master 😅

YES YES YES YES IT'S HAPPENING FINALLY AFTER SEVEN SEASON THE FIRE WATER PARENTS ARE FINALLY BACK!!! 🔥🌊🔥🌊🔥🌊 I'M SO HAPPY I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG!!! 😭

RAY IS THERE TOO HECK YES!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 I shouldn't get this excited at only the first episode... WHO CARES RAY IS BAAAAACK!!! ❤❤❤

Omg Maya is definitely different from what I expected, turns out Kai's enthusiasm came from her 😂

Oh look at my flame babe 😍

He's so happy his parents are here, he's a total family man ❤❤❤

Nya is maaaaad... 😅

THERE SHE IS

WELCOME BACK JILLIAN I MISSED YOU 💚💚💚 Would it be too much having a "Your voice sounds familiar" moment with Maya and Lloyd? 😂

I'm so stoked for this! I want all the interactions I've missed for all of this time, asap!! HECK yes!! 😍😍😍😍

Oh, are we looking over the Miss Demeanor, vengestone situation? Mm... for now at least... WHO CARES FIRE WATER PARENTS!! 🔥🌊🔥🌊🔥🌊

THE CALL OF THE DEEP

Imma just slow clap for The Fold because this is another amazing intro, one of those things in this show that stays awesome no matter what happens 👍👍

So Maya gave Nya her discipline and perfectionism, but not the passion behind it 😂 I like this, it's not your conventional master of water, although I'd say it's different from the impression she gave me back in HoT. Maybe this is how she is when she's not trapped for fifty years? 😅😅

Is it too much asking for Kai and Ray bonding while the water women get the work done? 😅😅

Is this the sequel of Green Eggs and Ham?

Green Pancakes and Ham? 😂

Oh it's seaweed nevermind... at breakfast? I'm all for sushi rolls but this is a little 😅 Although since Maya missed their childhood she probably never cooked meals for them... how did I get myself sad 😢

Whoa, Maya is a strict teacher! I got flashbacks from my first and only dance lesson, teachers nitpicking every single pose, uuurrrggg I feel ya waterlily 😡

Again, not a fan of Misako, but coming from her the whole speech about wanting to be there for her child makes a lot of sense

Yes. YES.

YEEEEESSSS KAI AND RAY FAMILY BONDING THIS IS EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED I'M GETTING ALL OF MY WISHES GRANTED FOR THIS ONE ❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥❤

AND MY FLAME BABE IS SO GLAD HE GOT HIS PARENTS!!! 😭😭😭

Lol with Kai's new hair they look even more related 🤣

Ray also sounds so happy he gets to have his moment with his son 😢 I feel so blessed in this moment 👍

Also this scene makes a lot of sense. Nya grew up to be indipendent, one that succeed in most of stuff without problems, she built her life without any help and doesn't look for it. Kai grew up more insecure, he got some walls up but loves to take care of others and be taken care of. With a childhood lost he looks forward to a bit of softness ❤❤

Did Maya make real bacon for that sandwich? Do I smell some favoritism? 😅 Or maybe she really wants Nya to get onto the water mind setting idk 🤷‍♀️

Little tiny complain, why isn't Jay doing the fixing? Did he give up mechanics completely? It feels like we haven't seen him do tech stuff in so long, I miss techy boy in action 😞

And no, having to check on the bathroom doesn't count 😅

Aww robot date 💜🤍💜🤍

AAAHH ROBOT DISASTER 😱😱😱 ZANE DANG IT YOU WERE DOING SO GOOD NOT TRYING TO DIE IN THE LAST TWO SEASONS!!

Oh that was weird, weird magic purple wave thingie?

I DID NOT ASK FOR A SEASON WITH A BEST GIRL AT THE EXPENCE OF ANOTHER BEST GIRL PIX DON'T YOU DARE DO THIS TO ME 😱😱😱😱😱

"Well this is troubling." I love this samurai so freaking much 💜💜💜

GUYS THIS IS ONLY THE SECOND EPISODE, I'M A LITTLE SCARED NOW 😢

Okay Nya admitting that something's wrong looking so apologetic, girl you don't need to do that you already own my heart 😭

Alright, I'm guessing this is Wojira's power or something, and they will have to go down below and find out why... just throwing this in, maybe Maya did something? Because she wanted to finally be with her family and needed an excuse? JUST A THEORY WITH NO BASE I REALLY HOPE I'M WRONG!!!

Okay, two episodes and I'm BEYOND engaged, let's keep it up! 😍

UNSINKABLE

Getting an idea how this episode might end already 😂😂

Look, I love best girl Pixal, but I'm kinda sad that she seems to be the only one tinkering at this point. Like, I saw Nya fix little stuff, while Jay dropped engineering altogether, I miss my engineers team 😭

Aww, the guys didn't want to crush Pixal's dream of an unsinkable boat 💜 But honestly yeah, I agree with Cole, this might end badly 😅😅

Thank goodness

I was worried they forgot about Jaya ❤💙❤💙 Jay is such a cutie omg

Nya: Mm, going on a potentially dangerous mission with unstable powers in the heart of my element or... mom's tofu pancakes... *yeets herself over the ship*

I'm making too many screenshots of the Smith family... WHO CARES THEY ARE BACK AND THEY ALL LOOK SO GOOD!!! 😍😍😍😍

Aww Ray wants to play with his son and his friends so CUTE ❤❤❤ Still can't believe they play Prime Empire after everything that went down 😂😂

Whoa whoa whoa, Kai and Cole are sitting this one out? That's actually interesting, I'm pretty sure I saw Cole's scuba suit in the sets though so I didn't expect it... lol it's actually kinda fair that the two that used to be afraid of water aren't going 😂😂

Bet Kai is happy to stay behind because he gets to spend time with his dad 😭

Also studying the fire elementals?? Uhm, yes please?? TELL ME EVERYTHING ABOUT MY FLAME BABE!!! 😍😍😍😍

I'm sure this one scene...

... made so many lavashippers happy ❤🖤❤🖤 Cole you got Ray's blessing

Ninja team acting cool while Jay is being Jay, it's how it always goes, it's the entire show's description and I absolutely love it 😂 That wink though 💙

PIRATE ZANE IS BACK 😂😂😂 Haven't seen him since Possession, and this time he's not even malfunctioning 👌 Pixal is so done with his dorky boyfriend 😝

Of course Jay already has a ghost butler theory going on 😂

OF COURSE IT'S MAYA 😂😂

To be honest muffins would sold me too 😅 Not sure if she will make them out of tofu again though...

It's actually really interesting that we still haven't met the actual enemies, it does build up excitment! Very curious about these squid guys 👍

Well what do you know, the Unsinkable sank. Who would have thought?

... yeah same, sorry Pix 😅

FIVE THOUSANDS FATHOMS DOWN

Aaaahhh, Nya fixing stuff! That's more like it!! 😍😍

Oww, that one speech, I've been waiting for so long for that! Maya just wants to catch up with her daughter and it's not her fault she was separated from her children, but Nya did everything on her own with Kai. Only fair she isn't seeking for her help right now... still sad 😢

Pff, with this ninja team there's not a moment of privacy 😂😂

Maya cleaning his future son-in-law's laundry what the HECK 😂😂😂 To be fair Jay has a bit of a history of having to change underwears during sea travels 😝

Zane was attached to a battery? When?... are you talking about that one scene in Prime Empire? Cause that's not really a flashback I wanna ha- whoops never mind got the flashback 😱

Maya looks more calm now, I think she's trying to act more reasonable and she's got good points 👍 I know people were a little weirded out by how more cheerful she looks in comparison to Hands of Time, but I think she gets the most serious and rational when time needs. That's actually fascinating of her 🤔

CALLING OUT AN ATTEMPTED MURDER

THIS GIRL IS TOO GORGEOUS MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT 🤩🤩🤩 Like my gosh that smirk, what the heck Pix 💜💜💜

Okay but Jay looking at Nya until the doors are completely closed?? CAN YOU FEEL MY JAYA HEART BEATING?? ❤💙❤💙

Whoa green gas I thought this was Nya's season 😂

MAYA WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS STUFF YOU'RE SCARING ME 😱😱😱 I SWEAR LEGO IF YOU BROUGHT BACK WATER MOM JUST TO KILL HER OFF I'M GONNA SUE YOU 😭😭😭

I really REALLY like the atmosphere of the entrante of the temple! Super sealike and ancient! 🌊🌊🌊

Maya: off we go, into the spooky old temple! (Why does it feel like something Kai would say? 😂)

Oh gee, someone sleeping in the deep, who could that be? Coff Wojira coff

Whoa the jellyfishes look pretty lifelike!

HERE HE COMES

WELCOME BACK GILES!!! ONCE AGAIN ON A LEGO SHOW I MISSED YOU SO MUCH YOU AND YOUR GODLIKE VOICE!!! 😍😍😍😍 Gosh he's a villain but he's got Clay's voice, how can I even try to hate him?? 😅

Alright, knocking down my water girls, that is pretty hateful material... BUT CLAAAYYY 💙💙💙

So they need the two amulets to wake up Wojira? Isn't one on the island? Fire dad and son coming to the rescue? WHO KNOWS BUT I'M ENJOYING THIS A LOT SO FAR KEEP GOING SEABOUND 😍😍😍

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

Hi John! Positive character based rant incoming, based on the Foggy asks I just read, buckle up! :D Because *I* think the main thing with Phileas is that, deep down, he is actually a super confident person. Yep.

But, hear me out, only when he feels like he is (in the) right. Look, he doesn't hesitate to openly disagree with Bellamy when he calls Abby's article rot, because he knows that it's not. He speaks up when he knows how to solve the train problem and has no trouble actually leading the whole thing and giving orders. He does a full dramatic speech in front of a crowd when he's offended at the implication of love being the cowardly choice when he knows that it's the other way round. He refuses to let it go when they guy at the bank is lying to him about the money, because he knows that it's his right to get it, he refuses to be warm or even polite towards anyone after finding out about Abby's article, because he knows and feels that he's been wronged, he's openly angry and defiant about being framed as a thief, again, knowing that this isn't right, he's ready to build something to get them off the island as soon as he learns that it's not his fault that they're stranded, I don't think I need to mention his outburst or the way he exposes Bellamy's bullshit in episode 8...

It's only that most of the time he doesn't feel that he's right. And as soon as that happens all his confidence just vanishes. He challanges Bellamy about the things he's confident in, facts and figures, but he doesn't defend himself when Bellamy goes to take cheap shots at him as a person, for having been afraid of travelling, because he's insecure about that. Evidently he's not afraid of standing up for himself, but he just doesn't feel that Bellamy's wrong, so that's what stops him. Same thing at the train. He doesn't say anything in his defence when he's being made fun of for not being an experienced traveller, because, again, that's what he hates about himself too, so he doesn't feel like Alberto's father is wrong for ridiculing him. Or: He thinks that he trapped the group on the island, so he becomes sad and withdrawn and the only thing that gets him out of his self loathing is his fury about being wronged, once Passepartout admits the truth - then there's the 180° turn again.

These shifts seem so extreme, but they make complete sense to me. This character seems to have a very strong notion about what's right and what's wrong, but this compass is so completely scewed when it comes to himself as a private person and the thing I loved SO MUCH about atwi80d was how he slowly (re?-)learned to have more respect for and confidence in himself, not only as a gentlemen with certain standards and rights or whatever, but also when it comes to his true self. He finally came to terms with his regrets and it freed him and when I watched the series I didn't feel like that development made him into a new person, but just reminded him of the person he once already was but then kind of lost.

Thinking about this, ITWI80D is actually really beautifully done! Abby's and Passepartouts character development was so good as well and I think there's going to be a second season, so that's really really awesome! Also sorry about turning the ask box into a novel with this!

I totally get this.

(putting my answer under the cut because this is long haha)

Like, the way I write Phileas in LTAB, he's someone who knows what he's talking about (most of the time), and is confident when he knows it will work or is true, but he's someone who clearly has been pushed around and ignored often enough over his life that he lets other people speak over him. He lets the opinions of others overshadow him, and that's not great.

It's probably one of the many reasons he stuck to the same routine for over twenty years, the familiarity was a safety, even if he hated it. When he tried to change or show his confidence, he was knocked back down.

The further into the series we see of his journey, the more he starts to stand up for himself.

Episode one, he tries to rely on what little leverage he's given and then his gentleman nature to get by. Episode two, he is confident, then he is degraded and humiliated while also guilt stricken and feeling miserable until he realizes that he knows how to fix this. His confidence shines best when he realizes what can be done and he has to break from his shields and guards in order to make it possible.

Sadly, episode three drives me crazy because his confidence in himself is too much, he got too cocky and it blinded him. But it leads to how things go in episode four and then five. Six is his best example of standing up for himself because he finally just...

Fucking lets it out! He's not holding back, he doesn't hide behind the facade he put up for over twenty years, the safeguards, he stands up for himself because of betrayal and because of the guilt he felt. Phileas finally gets to express himself and it's beautiful and heartbreaking.

And from there, things get better, though he sometimes back pedals, just a little, but then goes forward.

I honestly can't wait for the second series, I want more growth like this, I want Phileas to push himself forward with a confidence that comes from feeling better about himself and standing up for himself when he knows he's (correctly) in the right.

[wellimaginethat]

Danger Prone

Pairing: Jay Halstead x (female) Reader, Kelly Severide x BestFriend!Reader

Requested?: Yes

Word Count: 1909

Author’s Note: This was fun to write and that gif is perfect

Trigger Warning(s): Injury, needles, car accident

Disclaimer: I don’t owe nor am I affiliated with any of the Chicago shows, I just like to play with the characters

Summary: Y/N and Kelly are best friends and have been practically since she started at 51, she’s been dating Jay for about a year and when she’s injured in a car accident, they’re both insanely worried about her.

Y/N = Your Name

Y/EC = Your Eye Color

You were joking around with the rest of your teammates, telling an embarrassing story in an attempt to make Gallo feel better over his recent mess up in his relationship.

“I can’t believe you’d ever screw up that bad.” Kelly told you, barely containing his laughter as he shook his head.

“It’s a completely true story.” You told him, laughing.

Gallo’s spirits seem to lift a tad. “I have to agree, you seem too calm and collected to ever mess up that bad.”

You shook your head. “I wasn’t always this totally cool badass with nerves of steel.” You told them with a proud smile, causing them both to snicker. “But it’s true. I thought he was going to say he loved me, instead he told me about how he was sleeping with my so called best friend.” You shook your head a bit before shrugging. “All for the best, really, cause now I’m happy.”

“So I take it that things between you and Halstead are going well?” Kelly asked you, picking up his mug to take a sip of the coffee.

You nodded, smiling proudly. “Things are going great between us.”

“Well I’m happy for you.” Kelly told you.

Gallo nodded. “I am too.” Although you could sense that he was a bit saddened.

“Hey,” You put a hand on his shoulder, looking at him. “Listen to me, you are gonna find someone and they’re gonna love you and everything about you.” You told him in a soft voice. “It just takes time for some people. Look at Kelly, it took him this long to find a woman that could put up with his shit.”

Kelly rolled his eyes. “Gee, thanks Y/LN.”

You smiled at him. “Oh shut it, you know I love you.” You told him, laughing a bit before looking at Gallo again. “It will be okay. Sometimes things happen for a reason. Take it from me, if Jason hadn’t been such a dick then I never would’ve met Jay and I wouldn’t be as happy as I am.”

Gallo smiled at you and nodded. “Thank you.” He told you softly.

You nodded and patted his shoulder before removing your hand. “Anytime.” You told him, you kinda thought of him as a kid brother even though the two of you were close to being the same age.

You were nearing the end of your shift and you really couldn’t wait to get home, it had been a busy night and you wanted to shower and curl up on the couch.

When your shift finally ended, you headed outside to your car.

Kelly jogged up to you and bumped your shoulder. “If you and Halstead aren’t busy tonight, you should swing by and have dinner with Stella and I.”

You looked at him with a smile and nodded. “I don’t know what Jay has planned, or if he’ll even be free tonight, but I’ll mention something to him and let you know.”

Kelly nodded and headed over to his car.

You got into your car and started it before starting to drive, you were less than a block down when a car ran a stop and hit the side of your car.

It all happened so suddenly and then time started to slow down. You were trying to regain your senses after what happened, but it felt like you were moving in slow motion.

Kelly was at the passenger side now, pulling the door open and leaning in to check on you.

“Y/N, Y/N!” You could hear him shout, trying to get your attention but everything seemed so distorted and he sounded like he was miles away.

Then everything came back and you waved your hand to him. “I’m fine, I’m good.”

“That’s for a doctor to figure out.” Kelly responded.

Soon someone was putting a brace on your neck and they were pulling you out of your car, you didn’t really feel any pain, but you were still in a daze.

The ride to the hospital was spent with the paramedics checking you over, you were so thankful that it wasn’t Brett and Foster because you knew they would be making a complete fuss over you.

When you got to the hospital and were being wheeled in, you were having trouble focusing on anything, but you could recognize the voices.

“What do we got?” You knew that voice, it was Will. Great, that meant that Jay would find out about this and probably worry about you.

“Female, 28, car accident.” The paramedic rattled off. “Sustained a head injury and extensive bruising from the air bag and seat belt.”

“We’ll move her on my count.” They moved you over to a hospital gurney and soon you could see Will leaning over you, checking your eyes with a penlight to make sure your pupils were dilating. “Let’s get her in for a CT scan.”

You were wheeled in for a CT scan and then taken to a room in the ED to be further checked over and to have your head bandaged up better.

Kelly stepped into the room as soon as he was able to, which was while they were bandaging your head. “How’re you doing?” He asked gently.

You gave him a thumbs up. “I’m good.” You assured him. “My head hurts a little, but I’m fine.”

Kelly nodded and took a seat in the chair near the wall to stay out of the way.

“We’re going to need to take some blood to run some labs.” April told you, moving to your arm to insert the needle.

You tried not to pay attention to the needle as she drew blood and focused solely on Kelly. “So what are you planning for dinner?”

“Hm?” Kelly looked at you.

“Earlier you were talking about Jay and I joining you and Stella for dinner, what are you planning?”

Kelly shrugged. “No idea.”

You laughed. “You plan a dinner party and don’t know what you’re going to serve? How am I supposed to bring wine if I don’t know what the menu is?”

Kelly snorted. “Like you’d bring wine.”

You laughed. “That’s true, wine is disgusting.” You shrugged. “Okay, then how will I know what kind of beer to bring?”

“Any kind of beer is good beer.” Kelly told you.

“Touche.” You replied as April finished collecting your blood, and that was when you saw Jay walking in.

“Will called me and said you were in an accident, are you okay?” Jay asked, immediately walking over to where you were sitting. His hands going to your upper arms to steady you as he looked at you, worried.

“Jay, I’m fine.” You told him.

“That bandage says otherwise.” Jay told you, his eyes narrowing in on the bandage.

You reached up to cup his face, causing his eyes to meet yours. “I’m okay.” You said softly.

Jay stared at you for a moment before nodding. “Okay.”

You smiled at him. “So Kelly invited us over to have dinner with him and Stella tonight, what do you think?” You asked, glancing over at Kelly as you spoke before looking back at your boyfriend.

Jay turned to glance at Kelly before nodding and looking at you. “Sounds like a good idea, if you’re feeling up to it.”

You nodded. “Again, I’m fine.” You smiled, you were glad he cared enough to be worried, but it seemed like a bit much.

Jay nodded.

Kelly stood up. “Alright, then we’ll see you guys tonight?”

You nodded to him. “Yep, we’ll be there.”

“Good.” Kelly walked over and patted your arm. “Take care of yourself.” He looks at Jay. “Keep an eye on her, she’s danger prone.”

Jay chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, I know she is.”

Kelly chuckled and patted Jay on the chest before leaving.

You smiled. “I’m glad you guys get along and all, but it’s not nice to gang up on me.”

Jay looked at you with a smile. “Well it’s not nice to scare us.” He commented, leaning down to kiss you gently. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

You smiled up at him and nodded. “I wanna go home.”

“Have they released you yet?” Jay asked.

You shook your head. “No.”

“Then you have to wait.” Jay told you simply.

You pouted. “Can’t you help me escape?”

Jay laughed and shook his head. “You wouldn’t help me when I got shot.” He retorted softly.

“That was different.” You pointed out. “You almost died.”

Jay waved it off, causing you to chuckle and him to smile. He was looking out the door now, waiting for someone to come in with any information. His arm was gently draped over your shoulders now.

You leaned your head onto his chest, still sitting on the edge of the bed.

“So what exactly happened?” Jay asked gently after a moment.

You sighed. “Some lady ran a stop and t-boned me.” You huffed. “Totally wrecked my car.”

You could feel his chest rumble when he chuckled, shaking his head. “You and your damned car.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault, I love that car.” You pouted. “And now she’s ruined.”

“You know, I’ve met guys less in love with their cars than you are with yours.” Jay commented.

You rolled your eyes. “I worked my ass off and saved every little bit of money I could for that car.”

“I know.” Jay told you softly. “And I’m sorry it got wrecked.”

“Me too.” You huffed then looked up at him. “Guess it’s time for me to find a new car.”

Jay nodded. “Maybe something a little safer.”

“My car was safe.”

“It was old and falling apart.” Jay countered.

“It was a classic.” You argued softly, poking his chest.

Jay chuckled again and shook his head. “Okay okay. Time to find a new classic.”

You sighed and nodded. “I guess so.”

Will walked in after a moment. “Good news is that you only sustained minor injuries.” He told you. “You do have a slight concussion, so you’ll have to take it easy.”

“Can I go home now?” You asked eagerly.

Will paused and tried to stifle a laugh but nodded. “Yes, you can. They’ll be in with the paperwork soon.”

“Great, thank you.” You beamed and looked at Jay. “See, I’m fine and I can go home.” You stood up.

Will shook his head some and stepped out of the room.

Jay followed him. “Hey, thanks for calling me.” He told his brother.

Will turned to him and nodded. “No problem, I figured you’d wanna know.”

Jay nodded silently.

Will raised a brow. “You okay?”

Jay hesitated and nodded some. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You sure?” Will asked, knowing something was up. “She’s fine, Jay. Really, I wouldn’t let her go home if she wasn’t.”

“I know.” Jay told him, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Then what’s wrong?” Will asked, frowning slightly.

Jay sighed. “Nothing.”

“It’s obviously something.” Will told him.

Jay sighed again and nodded.

As soon as you finished the paperwork that you had to sign, you stepped out of the room and saw that Jay was talking to Will, his back to you.

Will nodded in your direction, causing Jay to turn to face you. “I’ll catch up with you later.” Jay told his brother before walking over to you. “You free to go?”

You nodded to him, smiling. “Mhm.”

Jay wrapped an arm around your shoulders and left the hospital with you.

[breadclubrising]

Why do you believe another gl reunion would make Ibushi fulfilled? Bc last time he seemed pretty annoyed by the end of it, saying he was just being tossed aside as "Kenny's replacement" and "I have nothing else to do in this tournament" and ofc the "I've always been alone". Why would it be different now?

wellllllllllll because the GL story has a surprising amount of nuance for a wrestling storyline, and has kind of deliberately mixed kayfabe with real life in such a way that you can’t talk about them separately a lot of the time.

i DEFINITELY didn’t say he ‘needs’ it to be ‘fulfilled’, because that is a thing that would give me hives to say. i have many times said he doesn’t need Kenny and that’s been the point, is that they both totally can be great without each other, but they keep choosing each other and even if they’re successful in their careers, they are unhappy when they’re apart. if you find that disagreeable, please email kota (i know for a fact he does not check his email because of course he doesn’t). What I said was: it is how their careers will play out because they literally say that will happen and they have gone to LENGTHS in real life to make it happen.

i saw someone on twitter who bothered to take a screenshot of some galaxy brain on reddit finally figuring out that ibushi and omega see each other as endgame, and captioned it something like ‘golden lovers is the worst story in wrestling please stop.’ which is totally an opinion you are welcome to have but also, the part about them being each other’s endgame is a thing they both have said and kenny in particular will never let anyone forget. i do not understand why people give it the ‘lol shut up fangirl shippers’ treatment when it’s a thing that has been telegraphed since the beginning of time, unless you are calling ibushi and omega fangirl shippers, which you actually probably should bc no one ships GL more. anyway, i actually completely get why people who don’t like the storyline, or don’t like kenny, or whatever, have a different reading of the actual events that took place. but it means that you asking me this question isn’t going to get you a satisfying answer, and that makes me feel like you’re just asking me this to make me feel bad for liking a thing incorrectly. 

but you did ask, which is totally on you, so: Ibushi said (explicitly, in interviews, and on twitter) that he was frustrated with himself for not Reaching His Potential. He never expressed frustration with Kenny, or even with NJPW’s booking. He wasn’t even officially signed until a couple months after Kenny left. 

It was like this: he was an outsider in the company. He was always paired with the guy who is like, certified by the belt to be The Best Wrestler In The World. That guy had a problem like the bus in Speed, except instead of having to maintain a speed of 60mph to avoid exploding, the bus has to constantly say its boyfriend is the coolest. So Kenny, the best wrestler in the world according to kayfabe, is like ‘actually my mans here is the best wrestler in the world’ and kota’s like ‘thanks i love you too but i’m pretty sure you’re the one with the belt and the pwi cover and 437 meltzer stars you fucking labradoodle.’ (I’d bet money Kota does not know what a labradoodle is.) Kenny’s stanning was sweet and well-intentioned but to Kota it only highlighted the achievement gulf between them. And it did not help that his mentor Tanahashi was like ‘allow me to highlight the achievement gulf between you and your genetically inferior labradoodle boyfriend, whomst i don’t like for Reasons.’

And that made Ibushi be like ‘i’m 36 (at the time) years old and I have every muscle and yet, no accolades. the fact that i have not yet managed to be the unequivocal best and that i foolishly had a body and feelings is shameful and weak.’

That’s how he is: he beats himself up about stuff like goddamn taking time off to heal from neck surgery and a mental breakdown, and the unforgivable sin of not being quite sure what direction he wanted to take his career. It felt really bad! It deffos did! But his frustration was not directed where you think it was! But that’s the part I said you’re not going to agree with me on, so!

There was so much going ON in this story and it was really GOOD! Like all the stuff with Tanahashi was incredible and heart-wrenching and you just wanted to both smack and hug all three of them and it was a really good story! 

Sometimes I just need to remind myself of that bc people who dislike the Golden Lovers are very reductive about why they assume people like the thing they do not like. But yes, it actually is a good story, now that I type a tiny part of it out like that; not my fault some people seem to have missed the epic heroes’ journeys forest for the gay love story trees. Not that there’s anything wrong with gay love story trees; also very much part of the forest.

Anyway Anon, part of the reason earlier on I speculated that you just came to my inbox to try to make me feel sad for liking things in a way you did not was that... honestly. HOW did ANYONE watch Ibushi say “I was always alone, before” after he won the 2019 G1 and go “king said ‘new career who dis’ and deleted kenneth’s number from his phone! 👏always 👏alone 👏before 👏!!!’ 

Like yeah those are the words he said but, you know, words can mean a lot of things! and personally, I think it’s relevant that those words were enveloped by a heartbreakingly pained smile that says ‘GREAT question Tokyo Sports, i WILL cry RIGHT here at this FUCKING folding table if you do not IMMEDIATELY pretend along with me that my existence began earlier this evening when I entered this arena. thanks in advance!’ Like!

Yep, look at that smug fuck pretending not to know who his shitty ex is! Prolly thinking of some good labradoodle jokes.

(On the real i know that not everyone is good at ascertaining emotion from facial expressions. I get that, and I’m not gonna dog on anyone for it, because I myself am often not great at it. And honestly? If he meant this in the “I don’t know her” sense, I would probably have loved it, bc I am a Kota Ibushi fan first, a human second, an antifa supersoldier third, and then a Golden Lovers Scholar like somewhere in the low 20s. But... I can’t even pretend that reading works for me. I hate looking at these gifs. That’s how much this reads to me as Having A Bad Time, like this man’s face is among my favorite things to view on this horrible planet and my heart feels like it’s being poked with a broken toothpick every time these gifs loop.)

And finally, because of the thing I said in the first paragraph that I wrote when I was like “i’m just gonna write a quick answer to this ask” like some kind of fucking fool who has never seen my own blog: it would not “be different now”, it has always been this story, and both Kenny and Kota say that when they are able to. It mixes kayfabe with real life, and in real life it’s really clear that it’s endgame for both of them, and I’m very sorry to GL haters but please direct your displeasure with the narrative to the two nerds who are determined to continue it across decades and oceans.

[comradelup]

@daughterofsarenrae said: Blupjeans + stolen century hurt/comfort!!

this was supposed to be a drabble. it is now 4k words. i went insane on this fine sunday afternoon/evening/night. blupjeans make you lose control.

ao3 link

Twenty seconds ago, Lup hobbled into the medbay, using Taako as a crutch and covered in soot and burns. Barry, who was just trying to find where he left his old body’s skeleton from a previous experiment, was tasked with patching her up while Taako helped Magnus clean up the mess outside.

He helped her onto the examination table to take the weight off her leg, which has some severe burns on it. Both arms are burned too, getting worse closer to her hands. He guesses she did some wandless evocation— or as she likes to call it: “fireball juggling” that went wrong. Too bad she chose to wear shorts and go without her jacket. Her hair is dirty and the tail ends are charred, and her face has soot on it, but it doesn’t look too bad. She doesn’t look too bad, and he’d tell her that if he had a single smooth bone in his body.

“Whoops,” she says with a shrug as Barry grabs the necessary materials needed to clean her up. Stuff to clean off the ashes and dirt, burn cream (that the ship keeps an ample amount of specifically for Lup Disasters™), and gauze to put over the cream. Merle’s out on some excursion with Lucretia and Davenport, so it’ll be at least a few days before he comes back to heal her magically. Honestly, Lucretia and Davenport’s absence explains the accident, they’re the most responsible ones.

“W-what happened?” Barry asks, wetting a washcloth and starting to scrub her upper arm.

“Accidental explosion, happens to the best of us.”

“W-with you around maybe,” Barry says, causing Lup to scoff indignantly.

“Rude!” she declares, “I am the best evocationist ever. It’s not my fault the dirt on this stink planet is explosive.”

Barry chuckles as he finishes wiping down her upper arm. Making his touch lighter he moves on to her forearm, and he doesn’t notice he’s gone quiet as he focuses.

“Aw, you’re so considerate,” Lup teases. Barry grins sheepishly and shrugs.

“I don’t w-w-wanna hurt you, is all.”

Lup makes a small sound that sounds between an exhale and a chuckle. “Thanks, babe.” Her voice suddenly sounds a lot more sincere.

He looks up and she’s smiling down at him. He nearly loses his breath, and manages to say, “No problem.”

He goes back to his work to avoid combusting completely. Lup says, “It’s funny, actually, how all this happened. When the explosion happened my wand just disappeared. It was behind my ear and went who-knows-where. I told Taako to get it for me but I don’t know how long it’ll take him.”

“I can help him after we’re done, if he wants help.”

“Don’t stress it babe, Mags is helping him. You can go back to your bones or whatever.”

Barry chuckles, finally cleaning up the arm. He moves to the next one and Lup stretches the clean one out, almost instantly wincing. She brings it back to her side and says, “Nope, stretching severely burned skin is a bad idea. The more you know.”

Barry chuckles again. “Just try to stay still until I get the cream on. It’ll help with dry skin too.”

“Me, sitting still? Have you met me, Barold?” she says, making him laugh a little. Nonetheless, after shuffling a little to get comfortable, she sits still. Her unburned leg bounces against the rung of the table, though.

A small lapse of silence fills the air between them, and Barry can’t quite tell if it’s awkward or comfortable or something else. He focuses on her arm either way, carefully wiping soot off the tips of her fingers before washing out the cloth in the sink.

He brings it back and starts wiping the side of her face clean. She was watching his hands before, but now she’s watching his face. His hand stills as they make eye contact. The silence is definitely something else now, but he can’t tell what it is. After a moment of silent staring, he brakes contact and goes back to cleaning, now feeling more than a little awkward. He’s intently focusing on Lup temple, so he can’t see her expression, but out of the corner of his eye, she looks a little… disappointed?

“What do you need your old skeleton for?” she asks suddenly. It takes him by surprise.

“Oh, uh, I was going to do some tests and needed b-b… I needed b-bones that weren’t, you know, still in a body. I thought I left some in here.” He adds, “You guys think it’s weird that I keep my old bodies, but it keeps me from experimenting on myself.”

Lup laughs a little. “I don’t think it’s weird.”

Barry backs away from her now-clean face. She was looking away from him, at the far wall, but looks back once there’s more distance between them. He asks, “Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, it is weird, but it makes sense, especially once you put it like that.”

He smiles before moving to her legs. Her right one is burned worse than her left, so he starts with the left. He pulls a wheely chair over to sit in and she props her foot on his thigh. Starting at the ankle, he says, “It’s not w-weird the more you think about it. It’s just recycling.”

Lup laughs at that, covering her mouth with her hand. Barry laughs along as he cleans. Lup says, “Can’t argue with that logic!”

“Tell that to Taako. He called me a… w-wh-what was it… a ‘total v-vulture’ when I tried explaining it to him.”

Lup laughs again, a little more calmed down. “Don’t worry babe, I’ll beat him up if he bullies you any more.”

Barry smiles, half to himself. “Thanks.” He finishes working on her calf and moves up to her knee.

Lup says, “Y’know, if you give me another rag I can help you with that.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that. I got it,” Barry says, shaking his head a little.

Lup shrugs, “If you insist.” She leans back, arms propper her up before she winces and remembers the burns.

“W-wait. Here,” Barry says, stopping and putting down his cloth. Lup moves her foot off him and he stands, grabbing the burn cream off the table next to her. Opening it and squeezing a little bit into his hand he says, “I’ll reapply and b-b-b… wrap it later, but this should help in the meantime.”

He rubs the stuff between his palms and when she offers a hand he takes it. He rubs both his hands around hers to spread the stuff over her burns. He’s careful not to hurt her and he stares hard at her hand to avoid making eye contact. He can tell his face is red enough.

Once it’s all rubbed in he just simply holds her hand in one of his and asks, “Okay, how’s that?”

He dares to look up at her and she’s looking at him silently, mouth ajar and what looks like a blush on her face. That could be his imagination though. She looks away and says, “Yeah! Yeah, it’s fine. Great, actually. Feels a lot better.”

“Oh, good. I’ll do the, uh, the other one, then.” Lup just nods, and Barry repeats the process with her other hand. It’s almost like a lotion, it moisturizes the skin as well as healing it. Barry’s hands come away soft as a baby’s skin. He thinks about that more than the softness of her hand despite the injury.

They fall into silence again as Barry sits back down and moves on to cleaning her other leg. Barry tries not to think about both him and Lup blushing as he held her hand, because if he thinks about it he’ll think too much about it and that’ll get him nowhere. Gods know he’s done that too many times already, especially when Lup is concerned.

Any chance of avoiding awkward talk is thrown out the window when Lup winces and buckles forward, gritting her teeth as Barry accidentally presses too hard into her burned thigh. He moves his hands away from her leg as if she stung him, instantly blurting out apologies.

“I’m sorry, I w-w-wasn’t thinking. That was v-very stupid of me. Sorry.”

Lup holds up a hand. “No. Don’t. It’s fine. I wasn’t paying attention either.” She sucks in a breath and lets it out slowly, relaxing her muscles as she does so. She leans back and smiles sheepishly. “That just stung a lot.”

“Sorry,” Barry says again.

“Don’t be,” Lup insists, “You obviously didn’t do it on purpose.”

Barry nods. She offers her leg again, and he lets her prop her foot on his leg as he goes back to work, now acutely aware of her pressure sensitivity. He spares a glance at her and she’s fiddling with her hands in her lap. They’re slowly and softly trailing over each other; she interlaces her fingers, holding her own hand.

It’s been a while now and Barry is realizing the mood has changed from the time when she got here. A lot quieter, softer, a little more intimate. Or maybe the injury made Lup too tired to be as talkative as she usually is. Maybe the something hanging in the air between them, so heavy he can almost physically feel it, is all in Barry’s imagination.

“I wonder what’s taking the boys so long,” Lup says, “Kinda worried about my wand.”

“I guess how fast they’ll find it depends on how big the explosion is,” Barry says, “B-b-but we always have backups if they can’t find it.”

Lup makes an agreeing sound. “But I like my wand, it’s a good one.”

“I get that,” Barry says.

“Says the one who made a wand out of his ulna.”

“Says the one who set fire to gunpowder dirt.”

“Says the one who wore a jeans tank top. A jank jop.”

“Says the one who told me to w-wear it.”

“Says the two flirting by insulting each other.”

Barry and Lup’s heads turn in sync to Taako, who’s sauntering in with two small bits of something in his hand. Lup, defensive, says, “We weren’t—!”

“Yes you were, shut up,” Taako says. Barry says nothing and tries to keep his face from turning red at the assumption. Taako reaches Lup and hands her the sticks. “Here.”

She takes them and, yep, they’re the two halves of Lup’s broken wand. She frowns and pouts a little and says, “Aww, my good wand.”

“Don’t mess around with the stinky dirt, goofus,” Taako says, “How’re the burns?”

“They’re getting better,” Lup says, putting the wand pieces down next to her. “Once we get all the junk off me and the burn cream on me I’ll be fine.”

Taako hums. “We’ll get you a new wand after that’s done. Then you can help us look for Magnus’ granddad’s knife. He’ll cry if we can’t find it.”

Lup nods and Taako turns to Barry. “Speed up on the ‘fixing my twin’ thing,” he says, poking Barry in the nose before turning and leaving.

“But I don’t want a new wand,” Lup grumbles, crossing her arms. It’s dramatic and mostly for goofs, but he can tell she’s actually a little upset.

“You know… I’m p-pretty sure I still have my other ulna.”

Lup makes eye contact with him, a beat passes, and they both dissolve into laughter.

“You’re so weird, Bluejeans,” Lup says, leaning against the wall and crossing her arms. “I dig it.”

Barry chuckles a little more as he calms down. “Thanks… I guess?”

Luckily, all the soot is finally off of Lup. He stands, takes out the burn cream again, and says, “Give me your arm.”

She sticks it out and he squeezes it from the bottle directly onto her forearm. He starts working it over her whole arm and she sighs in relief. “That feels so good. I was feeling like I got sunburnt all over.”

Barry’s nervous again, remembering the atmosphere from the last time he did this. He says, “You kinda w-w-were.”

Lup chuckles at that and says, “Yeah, I guess so.”

The burn isn’t too bad beyond her elbow, but he spreads the extra cream up there just in case. He wipes his hands on his jeans and grabs the gauze next. He starts wrapping her palm and she suddenly winces, hand tensing. Barry freezes, mortified that he hurt her. “Oh, sorry. W-was that too tight?”

She nods, grimacing. “A little.”

He unwraps and rewraps it, careful to be a little looser. His face burns with embarrassment. This is the second time he’s hurt her, oh he sucks at this. He continues wrapping the gauze around her hand in a repetitive motion, willing himself to focus on doing it right.

Something must’ve shown on his face, because Lup places her free hand over his, stilling it. “Hey.” He looks up and meets her eyes and she’s smiling sympathetically. “Don’t worry about it, I’m fine. I’m tough, y’know?” Her smile turns teasing and she says, “You couldn’t hurt me if you wanted to.”

That’s not true, because he didn’t want to hurt her and he still did, but he smiles a little regardless. She’s trying to cheer him up and he appreciates it. They hang suspended in that moment for a beat, just smiling at each other. That’s the second time this has happened too. He goes back to wrapping her hand and says, “I think even if I did hurt you Taako w-w-would hurt me just as bad.”

Lup chuckles, though it sounds a little empty. Weird. “Yeah, he’s real weird about that sometimes. Like, I can take care of myself, dingus! No need to go into ‘protective twin’ mode.”

Barry hums, nodding. He finishes wrapping the gauze and tucks the end of it into the folds so it’ll stay closed. He takes his hands off hers and she holds it out. The fingers are free but the palm is covered. It also reaches halfway up her forearm, where the burns were the worst. She wiggles her fingers a bit and turns her hand around to inspect both the front and back of the wrapping.

“Sweet, now I got a bitchin’ cast.”

Barry laughs a little. “If you w-want to think of it that way.”

“I do,” Lup says, smiling proudly. She sticks her other hand out and says, “Let’s do part two.”

Barry nods, getting the burn cream and starting to lather it onto her other arm. Lup says, “Do you think I’ll need to mummify my leg?”

Barry shakes his head. “It’s not as b-bad as your hands. Just put the cream on and reapply every so often until it’s healed. The gauze is really just to keep the stuff from rubbing off of your hands as you touch stuff.”

“Cool,” Lup says, “Though it’d be a nice early Halloween costume.”

“Yeah, if this planet does Halloween.”

“Fair. Hey, remember that cycle where Halloween was a monthly thing?”

“Oh yeah. April Halloween was w-weird to experience.”

“But really fun. I think me and Taako did the matching costume that month.”

“Right. You w-were Mario and Luigi right?”

“Yeah.” Lup laughs. “I was a great plumber.”

“I remember that. You made Magnus be P-peach.”

“No, he wanted to be Peach. He rocked that dress.”

Barry nods in agreement. Her other hand is just about done. It’s quicker work after doing it once before. He tucks the end of the gauze away and starts to put the roll back in its little box. He stands and pushes the stool out of the way. “There, you’re done.”

“Nice,” Lup says, holding out her hands and admiring them. Her casual smile turns reminiscent. “Y’know, whenever Taako or I got hurt on the road we always used to patch each other up and I always insisted we had to kiss it better. We had an aunt that told us it was healing magic when we were real little and it stuck with me.”

The image of Barry kissing Lup’s hand enters his mind and stubbornly refuses to leave. He stutters out an “Oh, really?”

Lup nods. “Yeah.” She smirks mischievously and holds out her hand like a queen to her subject. “Try it.”

Oh! She’s trying to kill him. That’s fine. This is fine. His face is probably as red as his robe and judging by Lup’s grin she thinks this is hilarious. Whatever. Fuck it. Let’s go all in. He gently takes both of her hands, holds them together, and presses a kiss to the junction between them.

When he lifts his head he stares at her hands in his, unable to make eye contact. Why the fuck did he just do that? Is he insane? She’s gonna think he’s insane, or laugh it off. He doesn’t know which is worse.

Biting the proverbial bullet, he lifts his head and looks at her. She’s staring at him again like before, eyes filled with determination and another unreadable emotion. She lifts her hands out of his grasp. Of course. This was weird and she thinks he’s weird and he should just leave before—

She’s kissing him. On the lips this time. Her hands moved to either side of his face and pulled him in, his hands falling to her knees on instinct. Oh. Wow. He kisses back, eyes falling closed. After too short a time, Lup breaks the kiss and leans back, staring at him with that determined something in her eyes still.

Then it melts away and she’s avoiding his gaze. “Um.”

“Um,” Barry parrots. He doesn’t know what to say either. His hands are still on her knees. Her hands are held near her chest, fingers curled into loose, nervous fists.

She looks to him again and opens her mouth to say something, but a loud voice interrupts her.

“Hey guys! Look what I found!” Magnus says as he enters, proudly brandishing his knife. On instinct, Barry backs up. Magnus notices his and Lup’s expressions and, with confusion, asks, “Am I interrupting something?”

“Uh, you found your knife? Where was it?” Lup says rather than answer the question. Barry sees a bit of darkness to her cheeks but says nothing. He’s probably blushing so hard he looks like a stop sign.

“Stuck in a tree,” Magnus says, laughing a little. “And not like in the branches or anything. It looked like someone threw it into a tree.”

Lup forces a small laugh of her own. “That’s wild, dude.”

“Isn’t it!? But uh, I just wanted to tell you guys so you didn’t worry. Bye!” And he’s gone as quickly as he left.

With the atmosphere thoroughly shattered, Barry and Lup look at each other awkwardly. “Um,” they say in unison, then laugh a little at that.

“Uh, here,” Barry says, grabbing the bottle of burn cream and handing it to her. “For your leg. And your, uh, your fingers.”

“Thanks,” Lup says. When she takes it their fingers brush and they both pretend to not notice it. She slips down from the table and starts making for the door, but walking slowly and backward. “I’ll uh, give this back when I’m done.”

“Mm-hm. You should reapply in uh, a few hours,” Barry says.

“Okay. Cool.” Lup nods. Then she… waves? And Barry waves back? “Bye,” Lup says, then bumps into the wall by the door, smiles sheepishly, and disappears down the hall. The door automatically slides shut behind her.

Barry sighs heavily, leaning against the table. What the fuck was that? He just kissed her. He kissed Lup. The woman he’s been practically in love with for decades now. And they just ignored it. Or they’re avoiding it? Which should he be hoping for? Should he go after her and talk about it? Would that be weird? Or would pretending it didn’t happen be weirder?

Fuck. He needs to get himself together. He looks down and realizes he’s been throttling this washcloth like it owes him money. Okay. Okay. Step one: clean the medbay. Step two: go to your room and scream into a pillow until you know you’ll be able to look Lup in the eye. Her warm, brown, soft eyes that look right into Barry’s soul and—

Focus!

He cleans the medbay, putting away the materials and wiping down the exam table, just in case. Also to get his nerves out. He almost trips over the rolling chair twice so it doesn’t help much. But he notices something: Lup’s old wand, still in two pieces and still on the table. She’ll want that back.

Fuck, he’s gonna beat himself up if he doesn’t do this, huh?

Telling himself it’s just to give her property back and for no other reason, Barry makes his way down to the hall of sleeping quarters to where Lup’s room is.

He knocks on the door and it slides open, but Barry is instead face to face with Taako. He looks as surprised to see Barry as Barry is seeing Taako. But Taako’s face morphs into a grin and he says, “Hey, Barold. What’s up?”

“Lup forgot her w-w… her wand,” Barry manages, holding out the halves for Taako to take.

Taako does that thing where he pretends to think on a matter even though he’s made up his mind. He taps a finger to his chin and hums. Then he points that finger at Barry and says, “Why don’t you give it to her.” He winks, he fucking winks, then moves past him and into his own room.

Barry turns back to looking through Lup’s doorway at Lup herself. She looks like she’s been pacing. She does that when she’s nervous. Is she as stressed over this as Barry?

“Um, here’s your w-wand,” he says, holding it out to her. He’s still standing in the doorway. She crosses the room to take it from him, but she seems more focused on him. Their hands brushing is an afterthought.

“Thanks,” she says. While still keeping that eye contact, Lup places her broken wand on the dresser by the door. The third time they keep staring at each other. This time, he doesn’t break it.

“Barry?” she asks.

“Yes?”

“I, uh,” She breaks eye contact this time, nervously looking down before meeting his gaze again. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask permission before I kissed you.”

That takes him by surprise. “W-w-what?”

“I’m sorry, I kissed you without knowing if you would be cool with it. I mean, you kissed back so that probably means you were? But still, I’m not too sure and either way I shouldn’t have assumed anything that was rude of me and I—”

“Lup?”

She freezes. “Yes?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“…Yes.”

So he does. He steps forward, officially crossing the threshold of her room and meeting her lips with his. Her hands find his face again and— right, she still has bandages on. His own hands fall to her hips. Her shirt is a little rumpled and riding up so he touches bare skin and it’s soft. So is the kiss, it’s soft and warm and perfect, just like Lup. This kiss is longer, less impulsive, more gravitational. They came crashing into each other and Barry’s heart exploded into a million tiny pieces.

But it ends, sadly, and Lup backs up just enough to look him in the eyes. “I’ve wanted to do that for such a long time.”

“Me too.”

“I never imagined having mummy hands when we did it though,” Lup says, giggling. Barry does too.

“I really don’t mind.”

“I do. I can barely feel your dumb, cute face.” She prods his cheeks with just the tips of her fingers for emphasis.

Barry moves a hand to cup her cheek. “Your face is cute too.”

She leans into the touch, her hand over his own. “Thanks.”

“Kinda wanna kiss it again, if I’m being honest.” Gods, it feels so good to be honest about this now.

“I wouldn’t mind that at all,” she says, moving steadily closer.

Barry moves closer too. Gravitational. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

They meet in the middle for another kiss. Barry feels like a shooting star and a firework and a blooming flower, but more importantly: he feels Lup. Her fingers on his face, her hips under his hands, her lips on his, her breath mixed with his.

It’s nothing short of heaven.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 116 (its sooooo long)

116

   Keith felt he’d been pretty patient waiting to have Lance alone again. He’d had his cake, and macaroons, Lance eating two before deciding he already had enough macaroons in his stomach. Hunk insisting his stomach had extra space for more, as Lance looked like his soul had yeeted itself out his body and he wished he’d gone with it. With Matt and Rieva off on their run, and everyone in the main cabin turning if for the night, he had his boyfriend all to himself and he wasn’t going to blow it by being a horny idiot... At least not until Lance made him lose all reason by being too fucking adorable for his own good.

  Dropping himself down on their bed, his boyfriend smiled up at him. His hand on his belly as he sat propped up

“What’cha looking at?”

“You”

His boyfriend groaned at him, letting himself flop back completely

“Why?”

“Because”

“You’re an idiot. Did you enjoy your birthday?”

“I did... apart from when you decided sleeping on the shower floor was a great idea”

“That’s totally not my fault... I was trying to get warm”

“And how did that work out for you?”

“Great, apparently it leads to naps in prime napping locations”

“Is that so?”

“Mhmm... now are you coming to bed, or just going to stand there staring?”

“Actually... I’m thinking that there’s a few things I want to do now that we’re alone”

“Is that so?”

  Sitting up, Lance reached for him, Keith snorting to himself as he moved closer so Lance could wrap his arms around his hips

“Yep. But only if you’re up for it”

“You’re already starting to get up for it... Did my sucking on your thumb really turn you on that much?”

“You have no idea...”

“Hmmm... maybe you’ll just have to show me?”

“I don’t know. Have you been good?”

Lance raised his head, staring up at him

“I have been excellent. Plus, there’s no way I can sleep in so many layers”

“Then maybe you should take them off and get more comfortable while I get a few things”

“Am I going to like these things?”

Now Keith was feeling kind of nervous. He hoped Lance would be okay with it... His boyfriend wasn’t great at being the only one feeling pleasure

“I hope so. If you don’t, we’ll stop”

“I can hardly say no to the birthday boy... I’ve never wanted Hunk’s cooking less than when he pulled those macaroons out”

“Babe, do you really want to talk about Hunk right now?”

“Nope. Okay, Mister Kogane, show me whatever you’ve got in mind”

“Get comfortable first. I want to try something different tonight”

   Grabbing his bag, Keith pulled out the small collection of toys he’d brought with him. Lance stripping down, before shyly sitting with his knees to his chest. Figuring it was fair if he at least shed some layers, Keith stripped down to his underwear, climbing on the bed with the bag of toys

“Is that?”

“Yep”

“And you’re...”

“Yep”

“Oh...”

His boyfriend was too cute. He didn’t want to push Lance into being uncomfortable for his sake

“Anything you’re not up for trying, I want you to tell me the truth. I promise I’ll only be disappointed if you don’t tell me”

“But...”

“Babe. It might be my birthday, but I’m not going to enjoy it if you’re uncomfortable. We don’t even have to use any of this if you don’t want to”

“I’m supposed to be the cool older one here”

  Reaching over Lance’s knees, Keith cupped his boyfriend’s face

“You can’t help that you’re smoking hot”

Lance gaped at him, before snorting and shaking his head

“Oh, babe. You’re really pent up, aren’t you?”

Kissing Lance, Lance pulled away when Keith’s lip was accidentally cut. His boyfriend frowning in a way that wasn’t all that sexy

“That’s right. I’m still mad at you for feeding me without permission. You know I don’t like it”

“You were freezing... I knew you’d be mad, but I’ll take you being mad at me over you being cold and hungry”

“Still...”

“Nope. It’s my birthday”

Lance sighed at him

“How does that benefit me?”

“Because it’s something I wanted to do... and I know you don’t like feeding from me, but I was kind of hoping you’d maybe suck my fingers”

  Lance blinked at him

“You... want me to...”

Keith felt his face redden, somewhat flustered

“Not this very minute, but it really was kind of hot... I think it’d actually be hot if you were awake for it this time”

“You get one birthday wish. Consider it another present...”

“But you don’t want to”

“That’s... it’s... if you want me to suck your fingers, I will...”

“But...”

“But I’m not feeding. I’m not drinking down your blood, from anywhere other than your fingertips. That’s it. No kinky neck bites or shoulder bites”

“Deal. I know I can’t make up for the years you didn’t believe it was okay to love, but I do love you. Even your stubborn parts”

“It’s not being stubborn. It’s something I’m not that into”

Now Lance was more defensive than flirtatious. He’d have to figure out when the time was right... because yeah, it still bothered him about a strangers blood feeding their baby

“Okay. Now I’m going to kiss you and we’re going to work things out from there”

“I feel like I’m not getting much sleep tonight”

“That depends on how you feel once we start...”

“And now I’m nervous. Can we just start with the kissing already?”

“I think I can do that”

    Making out always got heated fast. Keith couldn’t keep his hands off Lance, not when he was making such cute noises. Laid out on their bed, Keith pulled out the first two toys. Technically he didn’t know if they counted seeing they were cockrings. Lance swallowing hard at the sight of them

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to”

“It seems pretty mean to deny a pregnant person an orgasm”

“I’m not denying it... just delaying it. For both of us”

“You too?”

“Yep... it’s not fair if it’s only you”

“Is that going to apply to the other things?”

“Maybe...”

“I feel like that’s not a very reassuring maybe”

“I feel like I want to see you fall apart beneath me”

Lance swallowed again, before nodding stiffly

“Only if...”

“Babe, trust me. You’re not the only one who’s going to be feeling good tonight”

“That’s okay then... I like it better when we feel good together”

“Me too. Do you need the bathroom before we start?”

“Nah. I’m good... just nervous”

“If it counts I’m nervous too”

“We’re not great at this sexy toy thing, are we?”

“We’re getting there. I’m going to put this on, then I’m going to prep you. I want to try using a vibe...”

  Part of Keith still couldn’t believe their sex life had come as far as it had. Lance’s body had settled down when it came to heat flashes, seeing he was pregnant and all, but he still wanted Lance to feel the same amount of pleasure. The baby had really mixed up his feelings inside. He wanted to be intimate with Lance, but he also wanted to learn the new boundaries Lance had and wanted to respect him around them. He wanted Lance to feel safe and comfortable enough to try the things he’d denied himself for so long. He also kind of felt threatened. Like this happiness would be gone too fast. He desperately wanted to cling to it, until he was sure he could breathe again

“Okay... but... let me adjust? I love having sex with you, because it’s you”

“I’m going to take it slow...”

“I’m still nervous. I trust you”

“I know you do”

    *

Lance wasn’t sure what he’d gotten himself in for as Keith slowly fucked him with the vibrator. It was bigger than Keith, stretching him in different ways to what he was used to. Laying in his lover’s arms, Keith had his left leg loosely over his elbow, Lance trying not be embarrassed by the noise he was making between the sweet kisses Keith pressed to his lips. He felt bad about falling asleep, part of him wanted to make it up to Keith, while the bigger part of him was horny for his boyfriend. His dick leaking precum as his bliss built without release. Keith was hard, rutting lightly against him as he tugged on Lance’s ear with his teeth. His boyfriend not a werewolf, yet acting like he was a chew toy... not that Lance minded. Keith was driving him crazy and he knew it. His boyfriend had gone become the biggest pervert between the sheets, or on top of them on this case

“Ready for me to turn it on?”

  Nope. He was still getting over feeling flustered about using the toys as it was... but at this stage, he wanted to come. Between his legs squelched obscenely, his arse soaked with wetness and lube. When he didn’t answer, Keith pushed the toy deeper, Lance letting out a strangle squeak.  He felt full when it was Keith inside him, now he felt stuffed to capacity

“Babe?”

“Mmngh...”

“I’ll start on the lowest”

  Lance was not prepared. Arching his back as he cried out, the vibrator was... fuck... for a moment he felt as if he’d gone limp, like all the arousal had snapped away with the click of Keith’s fingers... then... bam... Holy fucking fuck fuck. Even the lowest setting was an assault on the senses. They’d used a small vibe before, when he’d been in heat. It was not definitely not the same as this beast of thing that was determined to stir up all the parts of him he didn’t know he had. Holding the base of the vibe, Keith slowly started to fuck him with it again, Lance turning towards the bed, fingers clenching around the fabric of the bunched of sheets as he tried to do something that he wasn’t entirely sure of. Chuckling at him, Keith moved with him, nipping on his shoulder as he pressed his body against him

“Feeling good?”

He didn’t know what he was feeling... his body trembling, hips moving on their own... Fuck...

“Maybe we should try setting number two?”

“Argh!”

  Keith had the remote in his hand, no longer having to worry about supporting his leg now Lance was pretty much face down and arse... going up and down... fuck... clicking the second setting, Lance stiffened, eyes nearly rolling back as his release smashed into him. His body jerking, coming without releasing the building pressure of his straining dick, shit... it was some kind of sweet torture. His fangs and nails extending, ego over the moon that their lover was getting off watching them

“K-Keith... too... much...”

Instantly the setting lowered back to the first setting. Jolt after jolt of pleasure took his mind and slapped it senseless. It wasn’t hard to find the prostate, but this thing was fucking molesting it... he was drooling, shamelessly moving to match Keith’s movements, unashamed of the wet spot beneath his body

“Shit, babe... you look wrecked. Turn over so I can see your face”

  He didn’t want to roll over and have Keith see his face. Keith didn’t care. Pulling him onto his back, the vibrator slipping in the change of position, stretching his arse with the thicker few centimetres above the base. Fuck... he really fucking loved it when Keith played just there... His body so in tune with his lover’s that his back was arching, feet slipping as he tried to push his knees together. Leaving the vibe, Keith’s hand went to his leaking dick, jerking and toying with the tip

“Fuck, babe... do you want to come? God... you look so fucking wrecked and we haven’t even gotten to the best bit”

“Keith”

Moaning his boyfriend’s name, Keith pushed his lips to his, not caring about his fangs, Lance trying to relieve the need to come as he fucked Keith’s fist, moving the vibe as he did.

  Continuing to kiss him, Keith climbed between his legs. Lance wrapping them around him because all of his instincts knew he was safe with Keith, even if he was past the point of rational thought. Stirred up and crazy with lust, he sucked at his boyfriend’s bleeding lips, his own only having escaped his teeth by the way Keith kissed him. Rutting between his legs, the sounds of wet skin against wet skin drove him mad. He wanted his boyfriend already

“I can feel the vibrations... fuck... you feel so good beneath me, babe. I don’t deserve you”

That was nice and all... but he was about ready to snap the cockring, pin Keith down, and ride him like it was going out of fashion

“Keith... please... please, I want... I want you...”

“Mmm... fuck... soon, baby... soon, I’ve got another toy for you... but I want to try something first”

  Lance’s arse missed the girth of the vibe as Keith slid it free, slick with lube, his boyfriend groaning as he slipped it between them. The sensation completely different now. More and less aggressive at the same time

“Shit... fuck... hold on...”

Sitting back up, Keith laid the vibe on the bed, pulling Lance up nearly in his lap as his hand went to a different toy. He didn’t get to see what it was, he couldn’t focus at it was. Keith had the vibe so they were both feeling the effects from beneath them. Lance’s legs quivering, body still bouncing back from how hard the dry orgasm had been. Feeling something smaller at his arse, he raised it in the hopes of Keith taking him

“Hang on, babe... take it slowly... I’m going to use it and fuck you at the same time”

    The small slim line wand was beaded, the beads not as comfortable as they vibrated their way around the space left by Keith’s dick. He finally giving him what he wanted, though they both still had the stupid cockrings on. After having his arse stretched to unnatural limits, Keith was hitting all the right places that he loved. He couldn’t stop kissing him, despite the blood and the risk of inflicting the bite. Sensible Lance had switched off. Toying with his nipples, Keith made him gasp, the buds already tender from the way Keith had sucked on them before biting. Riding Keith was starting to frustrate him. He wanted the rings off and to come. He wanted Keith to come. He wanted his boyfriend to feel even better than he did now. Slack mouthed, Keith smirked, Lance’s eyes hooded from his blissed out pleasure. Feeling something firm against his teeth, his instincts as a vampire took over, biting into the soft warm skin. Blood... fuck... he couldn’t stop himself as he sucked Keith’s finger. Keith’s blood already on his tongue, but this was offered blood, Keith’s one birthday wish. His restraint finally snapping.

  Keeping Keith’s fingers in his mouth, he shoved his boyfriend backwards, the ridiculous rings snapped in a heart beat. Wand pulled out despite the sensation it sent through the pair of them. Placing his hands on Keith’s chest, he finally had Keith how he wanted him, drooling down his fingers as he rode his boyfriend. He hated this body, but he and Keith were so compatible that sometimes he secretly believed soulmates might just be a real thing

“Shit... I’m going to come... fuck, baby... fuck... agnhgh... f-fuuuuuckl

Lance smirked, rubbing his tongue against Keith’s finger tips as his hand moved Keith’s chest to jerk himself off, the pressure of the built up need for release sent his vision red, Keith’s fingers slipping from his mouth as he came in thick ribbons across his boyfriend’s chest. Lance wasn’t sure if it was normal, or thanks to his senses as he felt Keith coming inside of him. Breathlessly he slumped forward, Keith wrapping his arm around him to hold him close as his body trembled violently. Fuck... just... fuck...

   Almost asleep, he came back to his senses. Keith playing with his hair, half hard and still inside of him. The buzzing in the background somewhat annoying, but it was drowned out by the strong, and racing, beats of Keith’s heart. He prayed to god that Keith’s warmth would never be robbed of him. Keith alive and living was his everything. Nuzzling Keith’s chest, his boyfriend leaned up to kiss his hair before dropping back. He had the sweetest lover. His friends filled in the rough parts of his wounded soul the best they could, but Keith was... he was the salve at the end of the day that had him getting out of bed to face the next one. There was no rational scientific explanation for love, maybe that’s why so many people chased it. Keith didn’t. He hadn’t known how. And now they had something so much deeper.

  “Babe, are you okay?”

Lance hummed happily, it sounded something like a content purr

“Yeah... sorry I lost it towards the end”

“Nah... it was hot as fuck”

Lance snorted

“Of course you’d say that. Are you okay? Did I drink too much?”

“I think I came hard enough to see heaven. Either that or an angels come to Earth”

Lance snorted again

“I don’t think I’m an angel”

“Are you sure? You’re so damn beautiful sometimes I forget how to breathe”

Lance shivered as his body started to cool rapidly

“I’ll clean you up, then we should sleep”

“I should...”

“I’m doing this because I love you and I want to. Consider this my birthday wish”

“That’s wish number two”

“I seem to remember you putting my fingers in your mouth”

He couldn’t deny that... he also couldn’t really move. One dry orgasm and another whatever the hell that was left him simply wanting snuggles. Keith leaned up to kiss his hair again

“Let’s get you cleaned up”

“Mmm...”

     *

The following morning was crisp and clear. Lance having too much energy as he nearly broke the tap trying to brush his teeth after throwing up basically nothing. Hearing Keith shuffling about, Lance smiled at his rinsed his mouth out, the moving to hop up on the bathroom vanity. Walking like the precoffee zombie he was, his boyfriend didn’t care as he made his way to the toilet to pee in front of him. Sleepy Keith was cute. Hair sticking up in every direction. Underwear pulled down on the left side, yawns every few moments.

  Flushing the toilet, Keith kept up his shuffle, washing his hands, before Lance opened his arms, his boyfriend grunting lightly as he moved into his hold, arms coming around him

“Mmnhmm...”

Keith speak for “good morning”. Dropping a kiss on his boyfriend’s head, Keith nuzzled into him. Serious. He was to damn cute

“Good morning, babe”

“Mbnsmn?”

Lance took that to mean Keith was pointing out that he wasn’t in bed when he woke up

“I was brushing my teeth. I’m all good”

“Mmm...”

Raising his head, his boyfriend had a serious case of morning breath and “vampire lips. The scratching leaving a few small scabs. Kissing Keith’s lips, he wished he knew how to heal him. He loved kissing Keith. Even the smallest of kisses made him melt. Lost in his boyfriend’s eyes, he felt himself getting all teary over how much he loved the walking zombie in front of him

“Bbbbas...?”

“I’m okay. Sorry, I was just thinking how lucky I am to be the one who wakes up with you”

Keith hid his face back against Lance’s chest. Lance moving to start detangling his boyfriend’s hair. Keith slept with his hair pulled up into a bun with how long it’d gotten. That didn’t mean it stayed in place. The soft locks tangled around the hair band

“Mbhh...”

“Alright. I’ll leave it alone for now. You need coffee”

  Domestic bliss wasn’t always about doing the do in the mornings. This gave him as much happiness as being intimate because this was a whole other kind of intimate.

   Getting dressed for the day ahead, birds were chirping outside, a good indication that day was going to be everything he’d hoped for weather wise. Still, he work two shirts and the thickest jacket he owned, jeans, and forced himself to stuff his feet back into his toe eating boots. Keith struggled with his shirt, too cute for words as Lance went to his aid happily, then maybe not as happily as he noticed the few bite and nip marks he’d gifted Keith last night while making out. His teeth were annoying as fuck. Keith liked the marks, but Lance always felt kind of unsettled by them, knowing any deeper and he’d would have drawn too much blood. Finding his hands stopping, his eyes caught the tiny scar on Keith’s neck, watching the artery pulse softly beneath his boyfriend’s skin. Keith didn’t notice, drawing him back by pushing his face into Lance’s stomach, Lance shaken as he realised he’d been looking at Keith like a starved wolf, made worse when his stomach gave a loud grumble, causing Keith to chuckle at him. His iron clad never ever ever feed on humans wavered when Keith tried to feed him. That part of his ego was hard to smoosh down, his true nature would feed on Keith in a heartbeat, but himself loved Keith too much too.

  Lance knew he was acting off about it, holding Keith’s hand they walked towards the cabin. The sun fiercely warm, as if the snow had never happened. He had his sun glasses somewhere, but the previous day had been so over cast he hadn’t needed them. Reaching the cabin steps, the scent of blood made him stagger, knees giving out as his body yelled at him for being hungry. He shouldn’t be this hungry. Though intense in its own way, fooling around with Keith the previous night hadn’t been that long in reality. Half an hour to an hour at the very least including Keith prepping him, and the very nice make out session before then.

  Matt must have heard them coming, Curtis coming out to meet them as Keith tried to drag Lance back up to his feet, grunting for an explanation from the man as Curtis moved without prompting to take Lance by the arm and he found himself standing again

“Hunk accidentally dropped a bottle of blood getting the eggs out for breakfast. It’s been cleaned up. Rieva sent me out to let you know”

A bottle... he’d brought extra, way extra compared to what he’d normally go through in three days, but Keith had him eating more with using blood in the shakes. Fuck. It was lucky they were heading back tomorrow morning

“Lance?”

Blinking at Curtis, he shook himself, trying to snap out the hunger trance

“Is he okay?”

“Yeah. A bit shaken up from seeing so much blood on the floor. Shiro distracted Shay”

God. They should just tell Shay. It wasn’t fair to keep her on the outside. Secrets sucked and lies hurt. Curtis giving him a concerned look

“Are you okay?”

“I wasn’t expecting to smell blood...”

“Ah. You’re probably hungry. Hunk made smoothies for everyone to go with the scrambled eggs and tomatoes. Let’s get you guys inside. Matt and Rieva have some news”

He didn’t want a smoothie. His stomach noping at the thought of it. His teeth ached with the thought of all that blood, nausea creeping up at the thought of the sight of it.

   Heading into the kitchen area, blood filled the air strongly enough for his stomach to roll. He already had nothing left to throw up, having been in the bathroom longer than Keith needed to know. In the sink was the remains of the broke bottle, drowned in lemon scented detergent that’d helped hid the evidence of its true contents

“Hey, guys! You’re in time. Keith, your coffees on the edge of the counter, I made berry smoothies for breakfast”

Hunk was trying a little too hard. He could see the self blame on his face. Keith left his side for the coffee, Lance stepping forward to his hug his friend. Accidents happened

“It’s all good, man. Thanks for breakfast”

Hunk patted his back

“I didn’t...”

“It’s fine. I’m not going to starve. Though I am famished”

Hunk chuckled at him

“That’s good, I made extra. Help yourselves”

  Human food didn’t want to quite sit right, but when he started eating, he kind of pigged out, nearly matching Rieva in breakfast size. Matt ate more than her, generally on a one to one and half ratio, but with their high metabolisms you’d never know it. Shay laughing how unfair it was that Rieva could eat so much and stay so pretty. Hunk tripping over his words as he tried to tell Shay how perfect she was the way she was. He missed breakfasts in his kitchen at home like this, and having his friends over for dinner. He felt like he needed to cling to Keith’s, and had done ever since he’d found out, yet he didn’t want to give up his freedom, nor did he want Keith doing the commute daily with his weird hours. If Coran told him he had to stay in Platt longer, he’d do as he was told for the sake of the baby, but otherwise it looked like it’d be going back to short day trips and the occasional overnight stay. A depressing reality really. If Keith tried living with him once the baby came, his daily commute would be so much longer... but the apartment wasn’t big enough for him and a baby... plus, he owned his house. They’d be able to mount things to wall and decorate how they pleased. They’d have to convert Curtis’s room into the nursery, but maybe it’d be safer to use Matt’s and Rieva’s room, especially with the stairs. If they were anything like their daddy they were going to be a handful and a half.

  Speaking of Keith, his boyfriend was hovering. His coffee cup too close to Lance’s nose. Other than the disgraceful scene he’d shown last night, he felt he really should be praised by how hard he’d been working not to throw up around his coffee loving friends. The stuff stank worse than rotten beans left in the bottom of a cup with milk for a month... actually, that was pretty close to what it smelt like to him. He had to work harder at eating more so he didn’t randomly fall asleep in the shower and make Keith worry about him and the baby. Subtly pushing Keith’s coffee cup away, his boyfriend noticed, despite the fact definitely wasn’t supposed to. Turning to him, morning breath was now replaced with coffee breath, Lance feeling like he was going to throw up as Keith asked softly

“No coffee?”

Idiot. There were other people there. Namely two werewolves that hear far more than they should

“I prefer tea. If we’re going exploring today, I should go get your camera”

  Pidge over heard them, proving all his friends were idiots at keeping things on the down-low

“That’s right. Matt and Rieva said there was a pond not too far from here”

Shay nodding around her mouthful of eggs

“They mentioned something about that earlier”

“Yep. Rieva and I took a walk earlier. It’s not that far, but you should probably keep Kosmo on his lead”

Kosmo seemed to be having the greatest time out of all of them. It must be nice to be a dog, and a very well loved treat spoiled dog at that

“Okay, I think I’ll need to get fresh batteries, so Lance and I’ll go get the cameras sorted...”

Couldn’t a pregnant man have like 5 minutes to himself?

“I’ll get the camera stuff. You’re on dish duty”

Keith sighed at him

“Nope. None of that, mister. Hunk and Shay have been keeping us all fed. The least you can do is help with the dishes”

“I didn’t say anything”

Nope. He wasn’t going to let Keith off

“You sighed. Make sure you guys put him to work”

Hunk laughed

“Okay. He and Shiro can do the dishes”

Curtis asking

“What about me?”

“Dude, you and kitchens don’t get along. You can help with the snacks. Is it worth taking snacks?”

Rieva shrugged, at least she knew better than to let Matt potentially slip up

“The water was pretty cold but it hadn’t frozen over completely. It’s a nice spot, especially for napping”

Lance moved his chair back, Keith forced to let him go or risk spilling his coffee

“Then it’s settled. I’ll be back soon”

   Making it back to the cabin, Lance was disappointed that he’d all but rushed back and into the bathroom to throw breakfast back up. He’d chew the side of his mouth without thinking, trying to ignore the blood that seemed to linger in the air despite the other scents. He really had wanted to try keep everything down as long as possible. Not eating that much yesterday made everything he ate today more important. He didn’t know how being a vampire would affect the baby, and if it did, it’d take a long time to be okay with it. Finding himself trapped by the toilet, he was exhausted by the time his stomach finally gave him a rest. The lack of strength bringing him to tears as he flushed the mess away then went about brushing his teeth.

  Shiro made him jump. He hadn’t heard him come in, not over the sound of throwing his guts up. Having known Keith for as long as he had, he was working on swapping on the batteries in Keith’s camera, Lance trying not to feel so old and backwards about such things

“Hey, I heard you. Everything okay?”

“Yeah. The usual and then some”

“Macaroons?”

So Keith had filled him in on that, he’d kind of expected that he had

“Yeah... everything okay in the main cabin?”

“Yep. Matt and Pidge got into a fight over the snacks, so Hunk put them on drying up”

“That sounds about right...”

Why was he suddenly feeling so self conscious? No... it was kind of like when Matt had been in their cabin, like their space had been disturbed. He was going to have to ask Coran about this. He’d never been territorial before and he didn’t want to start now

“You sure you’re okay?”

“Mhmm. Just... vampire stuff”

“Ah. Are you okay after Keith fed you?”

  Lance flinched at the question, Shiro’s face softening

“I didn’t mean it how it sounded. I know you’re not about to attack him”

“Sorry. Yeah. I... just, yeah. I feel like my head is all over the place and all the energy I woke up with seems to have decided it needed to go away”

“If you need...”

“Don’t. Okay. Don’t. Sorry... but Keith offering is enough to deal with. He’d having a bit of a crisis over thinking I don’t like his blood and stuff”

The “stuff” heavily implied what secret he was referring to

“I’m sure you’ll work that out”

Lance missed the change in Shiro’s tone

“It’d be easier if we didn’t have a whole bunch of other stuff to work out... I know hasn’t signed a non-disclosure and I don’t want to drag her into our world, but it’s... I hate lying to her”

“It’s hard lying to people you care about...”

But he didn’t miss the change the second time. Ego feeling challenged. Yeah it fucking sucked lying to Curtis too. Stupidly he snapped back at Shiro, tears welling up at his own words, his tone far too cold

“Forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’ll let you finish up with the camera in peace”

“Lance...”

  Nope he already out the cabin. The others already heading out the main cabin, Keith brightening as he looked at him. Shit. He didn’t want to drive a wedge between Keith and Shiro. Letting go of Kosmo’s leash, Kosmo came bounding over to him, Lance scooping him up like the baby he’d always be... the significantly bigger baby then he used to be. He had to get his head in the game. 12 more hours and they’d be leaving. Today was about exploring and having fun. Not about him. Or his ridiculous exhaustion... and apparent moodiness. Jogging over to him, Keith smiled

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist”

Hiking Kosmo up, his body wagged with his tail, trying to lick any part of Lance he could

“He’s fine. He’s the biggest baby of them all. Everyone ready?”

“Just waiting on Shiro”

“Yeah. He’s better with cameras than I am”

  The thing about Keith was that he knew when Lance was faking it. He couldn’t smile things off and pretend he was perfectly fine. The fake smile that’d seen him through so much was useless against his boyfriend

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah. Just overthinking”

“Stop it”

Lance snorted. He wished he could

“I wish it worked like that. Nah. It’s all... ugh, but the fresh air feels great”

“Do we...”

“Later...”

Keith’s brain was working better than his

“Here, put the baby down, I want to show you something”

“I don’t know if he wants to be put down, I think he just wants all the cuddles he can have”

“That’s because he’s best boy. Just put him down for now so I can show you”

  Mildly curious, Lance set Kosmo down who immediately pawed at his legs for pats. Pulling his phone out, Keith tapped on the screen, before handing it over to Lance

“If you want to talk, you can type in here. No one can hear what’s on here”

His heart lifted at his boyfriend’s gesture. Keith must have been going near mad trying to think of how to talk without being heard swapping Kosmo’s lead for Keith’s phone, he erased Keith’s message, typing back

“I’m okay. I snapped at Shiro and I didn’t mean to. He didn’t do anything wrong. I just feel bad about keeping things from Shay and Curtis”

Handing the phone back, Keith nodded. His boyfriend more ambidextrous than him as he kept a hold on Kosmo’s lead and typed his reply

“I know what you mean. Shiro gets it too. It really sucks, but it’s better than her thinking we’re going to kill her. I love you, babe. It’s going to be okay”

Moving to Keith’s side, Lance read the screen, making it seem more like Keith was showing him something. Kissing Keith’s cheek, his boyfriend turned the screen off, slipping his phone back into his jacket

“If you want to watch that again, let me know?”

“Mmm. I will. It’s a good idea”

“I know. I wish I thought of it sooner”

“It’s okay. You ready to head out?”

“Yep. You all good too?”

“Breakfast has already come and gone”

Keith seemed disappointed he wasn’t there to witness Lance throwing up. Lance hoping Keith wasn’t developing some weird kind about how far he can fit into the toilet bowl

“I...”

“You don’t need to. Years of experience there”

Lance kissed Keith’s cheek again. Fresh air and some sun was the perfect combination to help him get over himself.

[btsfaris]

thick like honey

summary: you can’t get over how thick byeongkwan’s thighs are, but maybe you don’t have to? length: 6,227 pairing: byeongkwan x reader genre: smut, angst, a dash of fluff

-

You hated to admit it but Kim Byeongkwan was utterly, and incredibly hot.

Yes, he is a fuckboy. No doubt about that, he has slept with more than half the girls here. You've heard all the stories. The girls on campus whispering not so quietly amongst their friends about their wild nights with the one and only Byeongkwan. How he is a sex god in bed and how he made their toes curl or how many times he made them cum, even before they had sex. So there was no denying that he was a playboy, but he is by far the finest guy in your college. His clothes are always accentuating his toned physique. His shiny hair, dyed a nice platinum blonde. His eyes are big and round with a hazel tone in them. His skin is porcelain with no flaws in them whatsoever.. But what really gets you are his thighs.

Yes, his thighs.

But that's not the point here.

The point was that he was driving you absolutely crazy.

Of course you have never talked to the guy, so part of it is your fault. He never did anything to you. Never once been rude or impolite to you. Nothing. It was the plain fact that Byeongkwan made you horny, nearly all the time. But how can he not when he always looks so good? You shake your head at the thought and try to focus on getting out your materials.

Currently, you are in class. It's 9am on a Thursday morning and you can barely keep your eyes open. Students are coming in, half of them barely awake and others look like they are practically sleep-walking. You're in your English-Literature class, one of your least favorites. Not the class but that fact that it's so early and you wish you were still curled up in bed. Everyone probably thinks the same because most take the seats in the back to continue their naps, while you, take a seat near the front. You hear the door open but you keep looking down at your phone, patiently waiting for your professor to arrive. You don't notice the stranger in front of you until they speak up.

"Is this seat occupied?" A male voice asks, causing you to look up and nearly drop your phone. You look at Byeongkwan surprised and open your mouth but no words come up, "is that a no?"

"Yes- I mean no," you manage to stupidly blurt. "I mean- you can sit here."

"Thanks," he smiles, taking the seat next to you and you feel your palms get sweaty, "sorry it's just that all the other seats are taken up."

"That's okay.." you awkwardly smile back and the professor walks in. He drops his briefcase loudly on his stand, causing everyone to wake up and class begins

You have no idea how you managed to survived that class next to Byeongkwan. The second the class was over, you had barely managed to escape that class without making a fool of yourself. Not to mention that every minute you were next to him, you'd catch yourself glancing at him and at his thick thighs. He sported a black, graphic t-shirt with ripped jeans that made his legs look so good. He looked so good. Your mind would drift off to different places, bad places that made your own thighs rub together to ease your heat.

You certainly didn't pay much attention to the professor this time around. Much too distracted by the living greek-god that was sitting next to you. Which sucks because now you have to use your textbooks and write down the notes you missed. You sigh, walking back to your dorm to take a small nap before your next seminar. You needed one to calm your nerves and try to get rid of any thoughts of byeongkwan.

"Hey, wait!"

You turn to the voice and see Byeongkwan jogging up to you. You can feel your heart begin to race and you wonder how you've managed to attract him to you twice. "Uh, yes?" You ask meekly. He smiles and holds out a notebook towards you. Not any notebook, your notebook.

"You left this back in class," he hands it to you and you take it. Looking at your notebook and back at him, "you left in such a rush that you forgot it."

"Oh.." You say shyly, nodding your head, “sorry for making you come all this way."

"No need to, I'm heading up this way anyways but I saw you and thought it'd be better to give it to you now than our next class," Byeongkwan shrugs, and you can't help but mentally moan at the sound of his smooth voice.

"Thank you," you blush, holding the notebook against your chest now.

"Mind if I ask why you were in such a rush?" He questions, an eyebrow raised and you almost gulp when someone interrupts your conversation.

"Kwan-oppa!" A girl comes up to Byeongkwan and engulfs him in a hug. He stumbles back a bit but pats her back. She pulls back and gives him a peck in the cheek. He smiles awkwardly and you look away, contemplating whether to leave or not.

"Hi, Minhee," he says and she smiles.

"How are you oppa?" She asks cutely, grabbing onto his arm and you want to throw up at the use of her aegyo, "are you going to Junhee-oppa's party on Saturday?"

"Of course, how can I not? He's my best friend." He jokes and she giggles at his reaction. You slowly start to back away when Byeongkwan notices you again.

"Are you going Y/N?"

"Y/N?" Minhee asks confused before she sees you and raises an eyebrow, “who is she?"

"Ah Minhee, meet Y/N," Byeongkwan introduces you two. You're completely surprised that he knows your name, "she's in my E-LIT class."

"Nice to meet you," you say, but she eyes you before glancing at Byeongkwan. She returns her gaze to you and a fake smile plasters on her face. "Nice to meet you too. Wow, you are so pretty!"

"Thanks?" You say, unsure. He smiles before asking you again, "you're going to Junhee's party right?"

"Ah, no.. I don't really know him."

"Aw well that's too bad, isn't it oppa?" She fakes a pout and you mentally glare at her.

"Yeah," he actually frowns but then a smile plasters on his face, “you should come, I'll personally invite you."

"O-Oh, you don't have to-"

"Please, be my guest," Byeongkwan insists nicely and you can't help but melt inside. "Okay.."

"Great!" He grins, turning to Minhee, "right? Everything works out!"

"Yep," She smiles painfully but then she wraps her arm around his causing you to clench the notebook in your hands.

"So I'll see you Saturday?" He asks and you can't help but nod, "good! Bye Y/N!"

"Bye-" Before you can finish, Minhee drags your crush out of there and you're left speechless.

What did you just get yourself into?

"He really invited you?" Your best friend Seulgi, exclaimed. You nodded sheepishly and she squealed in delight, “and you're going, right?"

"Ah, I don't know Seulgi.."

"What?" She frowns, confused now, “your living wet dream just invited you to a party where you just might get some action and you're going to turn it down?" You quickly cover her mouth and hush her, embarrassed at the dirty but truthful words.

"I just don't think I should go," you simply shrug, "I won't know anyone there or have anyone to talk to."

"Hey, I'll be there." She protests and you roll your eyes at her, “you'll also be making out with Donghun by the end of the night." She blushes at your retaliation. Donghun and her are currently a thing. Not sure what kind, whether they're talking, friends with benefits or anything.. But you don't question her because it's really none of your business.

"Please Y/N," Seulgi whines and tugs at your arm. You shrug her off but she wraps her arms around you and attempts to use her aegyo on you.

"Okay! Okay!" You scrunch up your nose, pulling her off of you, “anything to stop that wretched noise."

She laughs, smacking you on the shoulder slightly. "Besides," she smirks, "if byeongkwan is there, I'm sure you won't be doing any talking." She wiggles her eyebrows which makes you gasp in embarrassment and throw a pillow at her.

"Seulgi!"

It's friday afternoon now, you're in the campus library trying to write down the notes you missed in class. You're trying your best to make sense of the notes but your mind keeps drifting off to byeongkwan. His delicious body, his sweet lips, his strong arms and legs-

You groan a bit too loudly and a bunch of students shush you. You shrink in your chair and mumble an apology. You shake your head and try avoid those thoughts. Maybe you needed a break. You'd been here for almost an hour and you hadn't even had dinner yet. Getting up quietly, you saunter outside the library to find a vending machine to ease your growling stomach. You see one at the end of the hall and immediately jog to it.

Pressing the button for an energy bar, it comes as a total of one dollar. In hopes of having money, you try to fish out a dollar from your bag. You bite your lip and mentally groan when you realize you left your wallet at your dorm. A hand places a bill inside the vending machine, making you look up at the person.

"Byeongkwan," your eyes widen, "h-hi."

"Hi Y/N," he sweetly smiles, leaning down and picking up the energy bar before handing it to you, “in need of a snack?"

"Oh yeah.. Thank you, you didn't have to do that though," you blush.

"Don't mention it," he chuckles, shaking his hair lightly into place and you wish you could run your hands through it, “what are you up to?"

"Studying," you say and glance at his attire quickly. He looks good, per usual. This time sporting a long sleeve and a pair of basketball shorts that give you a look of his muscular legs, "for E-LIT.. Missed some notes."

Okay good, you're finally acting normal.

"Oh really?" He asks. “Well, if you want you can borrow my notes."

"Really?" You raise your eyebrows. "I mean.. I wouldn't want to be a bother." He chuckles at your reaction before shaking his head. "Nonsense, you can ask for them whenever. I'll bring them to you the next time I see you, okay?"

"Okay.." You smile.

"Do you think I could get your number?" He asks, scratching the back of his neck and a tint of pink scattered across his cheeks, “so I can find you and lend you my notebook of course."

"O-Oh sure,” you stutter, pulling out your phone and handing it to him. He puts his number in and calls his phone. His phone starts to ring and he hangs up, handing back your phone.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow,” Byeongkwan grins but his statement throws you off.

"Tomorrow?"

"The party,” he suddenly winks, walking backwards. Finally remembering, you nod. He waves goodbye and you shyly do the same. When he finally is out of your sight, a sigh escapes you. Why, oh why is he so hot?

"I am so not wearing this," you screech, walking out of the bathroom, “not in a million years."

"Oh come Y/N! You look hot!" Seulgi whines. She thought it would be a good idea to pick your outfits. She chose to wear a grey, short and tight fitting dress that made her body look even better than it is. Meanwhile she chose to make you wear a white cropped v-neck shirt and a leather mini skirt that made you feel like a hooker.

"Yeah and I also look like I work at hooters," you cringe as you look at your outfit, "maybe this means I shouldn't go."

"L/N Y/N, you are going to that party even if I have to drag you there myself!” She threatens, slipping on her leather jacket over her dress.

"It's not like Byeongkwan will notice me anyways," you quietly mumble, playing with the end of your skirt, "he has so many girls pining after him, why would he want me?"

It was true. Every girl wanted to be with him, whether it meant a one night stand, a relationship or even a casual fuck. Why would he choose you when he could have someone as gorgeous and sexy as Minhee?

"You're beautiful Y/N, you are the most amazing and hottest girl on campus," Seulgi frowns at your words, "anyone would be lucky to be with you.. even byeongkwan."

Her words cause you to smile and you shove her away playfully. "Fine, you cheesy person.” She cheers but you cut her off, "only if I choose what to wear." Seulgi pouts but nods her head and you head back into your closet to pick your outfit.

Settling for a graphic tee and high waisted jean shorts with some high heeled boots, you apply a bit more make-up than usual and Seulgi curls your hair the way you liked. You smile at the results and you feel a bit more relaxed.

You both decide to leave an hour later. The house the party is at is huge, possibly hundreds of people scattered all across the house and more entering the front door. The place is booming with loud music inside and hollering from the already drunk people. Your mind starts to drift to him and you begin to really think about running away now. Far, far away from here when suddenly, you feel a buzz in your pocket.

Pulling out your phone, your eyes widen at the text.

unknown: hey it's byeongkwan.. here yet?

You bite your lip, quickly typing up a response.

you: just got here.

"Let's go have some fun!" Seulgi exclaims and drags you inside the party. The scent of booze, humidity and peer-pressure hits you all at once when you enter the place. You look around, noticing everyone's attire and instantly regret changing into other clothes. Every girl here is dressed to impress in their sexiest clothes while you're rather casual. Most of them look at you strangely but you focus your attention back at Seulgi and how she immediately heads to the refreshments table in the kitchen.

"Want a shot? Tequila or vodka?" She asks, serving herself a drink.

"I think I'll just start off with a beer," you shake your head and she boos at your choice but hands you a cup anyways. You take a sip of your cup, pulling out your phone to see if you have any more messages.

bk: where are you right now?

You hold back a smile and respond back.

you: kitchen.

"God Y/N, leave your phone alone for one second and enjoy the party!" She groans, pulling your attention away from your device and pulls you into the living room. You're greeted by none other than Donghun and another tall guy with white, shaggy hair. Seulgi immediately blushes and smiles at them, but more towards her lover.

"Hi guys," Donghun grins, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, "when you'd get here?"

"About 5 minutes ago,” she smiles flirtatiously.

"Only five minutes in and already drinking? Wow, you sure haven't changed Seulgi,” the stranger jokes, causing Seulgi to gasp and push his shoulder lightly.

"Oh shut up Junhee!” So this was the Junhee.

"Anyways this is Y/N, my friend,” Seulgi introduces you to him and he smiles, waving a hand at you.

"Nice to meet you," Junhee grins, "BK invited you right?"

"Uh, yeah.." you say shyly.

"He made it pretty clear he did," he chuckles, "you guys close?"

"No, not really.. Why?"

"No reason, he just kept talking about you these past few days,” he smirks. Seulgi gives you a knowing look and you lightly elbow her.

"Must be because we have class together.."

"We have class together too.." Donghun grins, pulling Seulgi closer, “don’t we Seulgi?"

"I bet she still doesn't pay attention though," Junhee mocks, causing her to curse at him, “she used to make me help her in math, like all the time."

The conversation keeps going but rather than listening, you quietly check your phone.

bk: where are you now? seems like i'm on a scavenger hunt.

You giggle at his remark and type away.

you: living room.

You look up again and continue to listen to their conversation but get bored quickly. You simply look around and watch as different people dance, drink, make-out with others and just conversate. You take a sip of your drink and notice that you ran out.

"I'm going to get another drink,” you say to Seulgi and she nods, averting her gaze back to Donghun. You roll your eyes and head back to kitchen. After serving yourself another cup of the booze, you check your phone but you're disappointed to see that Byeongkwan hadn't replied. Frowning, you take a another sip and shrug, making your way back to Seulgi. You look around for her but she isn't anywhere in sight.

"Great," you mumble, all alone now, "why am I not surprised."

You wonder if maybe you should leave. Seulgi is off with her boy toy while Byeongkwan seems to be busy. Plus you knew nobody here. So what was the point? You sigh, deciding that if you're going to be here, might as well explore the place. You walk past the crowd of teens on the dance floor and into a semi-empty hallway. This place was most definitely huge. Is this a fraternity house? You notice a plaque on the wall that say Kappa Phi Stigma.

You continue to walk until you reach a staircase and decide to climb it. Looking at all the different medals and certificates on the walls distracts you that you nearly bump into a couple making out. You spurt out an apology and quickly run up the stairs in embarrassment when you feel to need to pee.

"Oh great,” you say, looking at all the different doors and trying to open a few but sadly, they're all locked. You go for the door at the end of the hall and mentally cheer as the knob turns all the way. You practically burst in but stop in place when you see Byeongkwan sitting on the toilet seat and Minhee on his lap. They both stare at you, a look of annoyance on Minhee's face while Byeongkwan looks surprised with a hint of guilt. You stand there for a few seconds, shocked before you snap out of it.

"S-Sorry,” you apologize quickly, trying to get away as fast as possible.

"Wait Y/N!" Byeongkwan calls but you slam the door shut.

You run to the first door you can and luckily it's unlocked. Closing the door behind you, you lock it and lean against the door quietly. You hear the bathroom door open and Minhee calls out Byeongkwan’s name before the door slams shut once again. You hear loud footsteps pass your door and you hold your breath. When the footsteps fade away and you assume that he's gone, you slide down the door and let a few angry tears fall.

You were right. Of course he wouldn't want to be with someone like you. Someone as boring looking as you were no match to the extravagant Minhee, or any other girl here. You were simply Y/N to him, the boring girl from his English class and that's all you'd ever be. You sniff and wipe away your tears but more fall down.

You don't know how long you sit in the room. Possibly an hour has passed and you still sit in the same spot. You can hear the music booming from downstairs but your head feels numb and all you want to do is leave. You get up from your spot on the floor, taking a big gulp from your neglected cup and wipe under your eyes. You check yourself in the nearby mirror of the college boy who sleeps here and make sure you look decent enough.

Opening the door quietly, you look out to make sure no one is there and walk out the room. You head downstairs, in hopes of finding Seulgi and getting the hell out of there. You sneak past a bunch of people, avoiding all the couples and try to find Seulgi. You look around, seeing unfamiliar faces when you catch Byeongkwan’s gaze across the living room and your eyes widen. "Y/N!" You turn around and try to make a run for it. But suddenly, you're blocked by all the dancing lunatics and curse yourself for coming here in the first place.

You see an opening in between a group and you try to make your way through when a hand grabs your arm. Spinning you around, you make eye-contact with Byeongkwan. Your eyes are wide while his are frantic. Despite the situation, he still look so dämn attractive. He has on a graphic tshirt, with a backwards dad-hat and a pair of black jeans.

"Can I talk to you?" Byeongkwan pleads, “privately?"

You're not sure why but you feel yourself nodding and he visibly sighs in relief. Rather than letting you go, he holds on your hand instead, pulls you out of the living room and back upstairs. You're climbing up the stairs and it's like you're living a dream, despite the circumstances. He heads into a room, not the one you were pathetically crying in earlier luckily, and closes the door behind him.

You stand there awkwardly, looking around and notice that this is his room. His room is rather nice for a college boy. A clean, well made bed with a few pieces of furniture and posters around. A picture frame on his nightstand of himself and his fraternity brothers. You divert you gaze back at him and notice his distressed state.

"Look, I know what you saw out there but it wasn't what it looked like. I wasn't hooking up with Minhee. We were just talking but she suddenly came onto me and I had no idea what to do," he explains, and you're surprised as to why he's doing this, “then you came in and ran away before I could explain myself."

"Oh," you utter quietly, biting your lip, "why are you telling me this though?"

"Because you didn't let me tell you before-"

"I know that," you interrupt, “but you don't need to explain yourself.. We're not dating or anything."

"Well yeah," he frowns at the floor and you don't know if you should have said that, “but I-I just.."

He looks hurt at your words and suddenly, it seems to all click. All the helping, the talking, the texts, it all pops up into your head.

"Do you like me Byeongkwan?" His head looks up and he seems shocked.

"How'd you know?"

"Do you?" You ask again, walking towards him. He nods shyly, his cheeks starting to blush and you smile.

"I like you too." You confess, and his eyes widen. "You do..?" You nod and now you're in front of him.

"I actually like you a lot,” you whisper, looking up at him. He looks down at your lips and back at your eyes. He seems to be battling with himself internally so you decide to take initiative and press your lips against his. His lips are smooth and plush against your own. Your mouth moves slowly against his and you wrap your arms around his neck. You feel his hands snake around your waist and he pulls you into him. Licking his bottom lip, you are granted with access as he tries to dominate your mouth with his tongue causing you to moan.

He kisses you skillfully and you feel like you're flying. He slips his hands under you shirt and grips your bare waist before moving them behind your thighs, picking you up with ease. You wrap your legs around his waist and he leans you both against a wall. You continue to kiss each other for a few more moments when he pulls away and begins to kiss down your neck.

He nips at the flesh and it makes you moan softly. "Kwannie," you sigh and he hums against your neck, adding a few lovebites on it. He continues to kiss down your neck to your collarbones and back up before meeting your lips again. You kiss back with passion and bite his lower lip which makes the most delicious sound come from him.

He finally moves back and takes you to his bed, dropping you carefully on it. You kiss without stopping as he leans over you. You pull him as close as possible, accidentally tip the hat off his head and run your fingers through his soft locks. You feel his fingers dance up your thighs and instinctively, you grind against the now forming bulge in his pants. He moans in your mouth and you love the sound so much that you do it again. You move your hips upwards and he groans some more. He begins to grind his bulge against your clothed heat and it flicks against your clit deliciously.

"Fuck Y/N," byeongkwan pulls away and you take the moment to push him onto the bed and straddle him. You start to grind against him again, loving every single noise that slips from him and how it stimulates your heat. His head tips back and he grabs your hips, guiding you back and forth. You moan as the zipper of his jeans rubs against your heat and bite your lip.

He tugs at the hem of your shirt and you pull it over your head, your lace bra in display. You lean back down and go back to kissing his sweet lips. His mouth moves against yours perfectly and he suddenly sits up. He pulls away briefly, pulling on the collar of his shirt before tugging up and removing it in one go. His pale, hard abs come into view and you practically drool. "God, you're so hot,” you mumble out and he grabs your chin before attacking your mouth. You tangle your hands in his hair once again and he unbuttons your jean shorts. Before he can unzip, you pull away and take his hands off of you.

"Something wrong?" He asks, worried. His lips are red and plump, hair all messed up and there's a hint of sheen on his body. He looks absolutely ravishing and you can't help but lick your lips.

"No," you shake your head, "I just want to suck your dick first."

"Fuck," he mutters and quickly unbuckles his belt. You help him out by unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. He pulls down his pants, kicking them off and you see the bulge in his boxers. You lean down, mouthing at his clothed manhood and Byeongkwan moans out. You continue to lick and suck at it before looking up at him, who looks already out of breath. You pull away and finally stick your fingers underneath the band. Pulling down all the way, his dick smacks against his stomach and you can't wait to have it in your mouth.

He's long and hard, with a nice red tip. His girth is so thick that you wonder what isn't thick about this man. You move down his thighs before wrapping your fingers around the base of his cock. You lick at the tip, making sure to keep eye-contact with him. He softly moans out as you lick up a long stripe from his balls to his tip. You carefully suck at the tip, running your tongue around it. His thighs clench at the stimulation and you feel yourself get wetter and wetter. Slowly, you move down and take him in bit by bit. You bob your head up and down, making sure to see his reactions. You suck harder which makes him moan.

"Jesus you suck my cock so good,” he moans out, his eyes squeezed shut and you hum a thank you. His fingers tangle in your hair, “taking my dick so well baby."

His words go straight to your heat, dampening your already wet panties some more. You continue to suck him, running your tongue all around him and deep-throating him whenever you could. You bring one hand down to his balls and massage them which makes him grip your hair.

"Yes baby, fuck,” Byeongkwan groans, his other hand clutching the sheets, “you’re going to make me cum if you keep doing that."

You pull away at that and Byeongkwan tries to catch his breath. You wipe at your mouth and he instantly kisses you. His hands go behind your back to your bra and he skillfully unclips it. You pull the material off your chest and his lips latch on one of your perky nipples.

"Byeongkwan,” you moan out, tugging at his blonde strands. He licks and nibbles on one before moving to the other. He uses a hand to massage your other brëast so it doesn't feel neglected and you let out breathy moans. He smiles at your reaction and pulls away. He pecks your lips softly before turning you over and laying you down.

Pulling down your shorts, he drags your ruined panties with them and licks at two of his fingers. He instantly rubs your clit softly with them, causing you to moan loudly. You whimper at his touch and try to close your legs from the stimulation but he pries your legs apart. He dips a finger inside and you moan out as he pumps it in and out of you.

"Oh god,” you moan out, clutching the sheets underneath you. He slips another finger in and picks up speed. Your curls start to curl at the pleasure and he smirks. He pulls out suddenly which you're about to protest at but then he puts his fingers in his mouth. He closes his eyes and moans at the taste. It is the hottest thing you have ever seen and it makes you heat ache even more.

"You taste absolutely delicious,” he winks at you. You would ask to have more foreplay with any other partner but you can't help but want him already. You dreamt of this for the longest that if you don't have him now, you just might die.

"Fuck me,” you whisper and his eyes darken.

"That's what my baby wants?" He questions, his voice dropping down an octave or two. You nod and he tsks, "I need to hear you beg."

"Please fuck me kwan,” you whimper, “I need you so bad. I need your dick inside of me."

He growls at your words and leans over to kiss you. You moan against his mouth and run your hand down to massage his length. He tugs down his boxers all the way and leans over to find a condom inside his drawer. You grab his hand and shake your head.

"I'm on the pill.." he nods and pecks your lips before getting into position.

He sits on the back of his thick thighs and grabs himself from the base leading his length to your entrance. He teases you slightly by rubbing his tip against your clit and you whine. He bites his lip as he begins to push in and you whimper at the fullness you begin to feel. Byeongkwan moans out as you wrap around him tightly and you've never felt so full in your life.

When he's finally all the way in, he leans back over you and slowly begins to move his hips. You look into each other's eyes and he looks absolutely breathtaking.

"You're so fucking tight," he groans, slowly but surely picking up speed. You clutch at his back, whimpers escaping your lips, “so fucking good."

"Byeongkwan," you gasp out, wrapping your legs around his waist, "faster, please."

He kisses your lips, pumping into you much faster now. The bed begins to creak and you can feel the way his thick cock moves inside of you. You're moaning loudly now but you could care less about anyone hearing you. All you care about is how good he is fucking you.

"Oh god Y/N," he groans out, thrusting hard. "your pussy was made for me, goddamn."

You moan out as he pounds into you, his balls smacking against your ass with each thrust. He slows down his pace all of a sudden and grinds into you in slow circles that have you seeing stars. Now you know why all these girls talk about him so much, because he really was a sex god in bed. He pumps back hard into before returning to the grinding and you feel overwhelming pleasure. He is doing you so good that you don't know if you've ever felt this good.

"Yes kwannie, oh fuck,” you manage to gasp out. "ngh-"

He continues to fuck into you, grabbing your breasts and kneading them. He places kisses all over your neck and it all feels so good that you could cry. The pleasure builds up and you can feel yourself climbing up the ladder to your climax. As if sensing this, he licks his thumb and begins to rub your clit. You hiss at the contact as he nearly brings you there.

"You wanna cum babe?" Byeongkwan asks, thrusting into you with every word, "cum for me Y/N, cum all over my cock."

You're so close that you can taste it and as he starts to apply more pressure onto your heat, you're put over the edge. "Oh fuck, oh fuck, fuck-" you whimper, your eyes squeezing shut and your back arches from the bed as your orgasm hits you. Your legs shake from how hard you come and you feel it in waves. Byeongkwan moves slowly to help out your high before he stops and lets you catch your breath.

He pulls out suddenly, and quickly turns you over, on your hands and knees. He gets into position behind you before pushing back into you. He moves slowly, then returns to his usual pounding that makes you whine from the oversensitivity but there is a tinge of pleasure in it. You can no longer feel your arms or legs, your body way too overwhelmed from all the pleasure. His thrusts become erratic and you know he's close by how loudly he's moaning.

You take all the energy you have left to prop yourself up until your back meets his chest and you wrap your left arm around his neck. He kisses your lips passionately before moving down your neck. He fumbles with your breast, trying to chase after his high. You moan out to him and nibbles on your shoulder.

"Cum for me ‘kwan,” you purr in his ear, "cum inside of me baby."

"F-Fuck, I'm so close," Byeongkwan stammers, his thick thighs smacking against your ass.

"Come on baby," you coo. "fill me up."

He pounds into you faster than ever before he reaches his end and he comes in a long, loud moan. He holds onto you strongly, his hips pushed against your ass hard. His eyes are squeezed shut and you have never seen someone so beautiful. He pumps into you slowly, riding out his high and comes to a halt. He slumps against your shoulder and you both try to catch your breath.

Sweat covers the both of you and you feel exhausted. He kisses your shoulder after a few moments and you take that as a cue to lay down in the bed. He stands up, grabbing a small towel from his closet and wipes his release away that now runs down your thighs. After disposing of it, he crashes next to you and for some reason, you feel at peace. Byeongkwan pulls you towards him and you rest your head on his chest, looking up at him.

"You were amazing,” he tiredly smiles, petting your tangled hair.

"You weren't so bad yourself,” you joke, looking down and running your finger in circles on his chest. He watches your movements before he grabs onto your hand and intertwines your fingers together. You look as he raises them and kisses the back of your hand.

"I hope you know this means you're my girl," byeongkwan grins, and you blush, "that is, if you want to be?"

"I'd love to,” you smile back and he pecks your lips softly. He suddenly smacks your butt playfully and wraps his arms around you.

"Rest up champ,“ he smirks, "we're going to need all the energy we can for round two tomorrow."

-

a/n: I made this on wattpad like 3 years ago and ive clearly updated it to his current name but if you see jason lol sorry im fucking blind

[movedto-erodasghosts]

distant | tom holland

Description: Tom being gone for work so much takes its toll on your relationship (italics are flashbacks)

Warnings: angst, implied smut (super brief though)

Word count: ~1.8k

A/N: my main is @laurieteddy this is my first Tom Holland fic, i hope you enjoy! I’m planning to hopefully write more in the future. Thanks @peeterparkr for the muffin inspo :)))

masterlist

---

It was nearly three in the morning and you were in the kitchen making muffins. It seemed to be the only logical thing to do really. You couldn’t seem to fall asleep, neither could Tom. And sure, that didn’t used to be an issue. The two of you could always find ways to tire yourselves out for some sleep, or at least you could keep each other company until you fell asleep. Lately though it was hard.

To say the least, you had greatly grown apart. Tom traveled a lot for work, and your job didn’t always allow you to go and visit him. Sometimes you would go months without seeing him face to face. Of course you would text, call, FaceTime, anything you could do but it wasn’t the same. In the beginning it was an obstacle you thought you would both surely make it through.

“It’s going to suck, not being able to see you,” he huffed.

“I know, but this is huge for you.” You wrapped your arms around his torso, “It’s not like we’ll never see each other again. We can stay in touch, I’ll visit if possible. And, I’ll be here when you get back.”

He rubbed your back slowly, resting his cheek on top of your head. “Tessa’s going to miss you loads.”

“Just Tessa?” You laughed.

“Well, of course not. Haz will too,” he joked. “Me, though, I’m going to miss you loads upon loads. I mean tons! You wouldn’t believe how much I’m gonna miss you.”

You cupped his cheeks before planting a soft kiss on his lips and teasing, “I suppose I’ll miss you a little.”

“Ouch,” he faked hurt, putting a hand over his heart, “only a little?”

“Okay, okay…” you ran your hand through his hair. “Maybe a lot.”

It was strange. It was almost like now you missed him more when he was home. Like the longing for him was constantly there, whether he was home or away. But having him home somehow felt more lonely. You hardly seemed to talk anymore, at least when he was gone there was an excuse not to.

At home it felt like you were required to talk, to make every second last before he had to go again. There came a point where you both started feeling like there was no point because he would be gone again. You distanced yourselves anytime you had the chance to be close, though it was completely unintentional. It seemed to be like you both just began to adapt to living without one another, used to the idea of an empty bed.

“I’ll never get enough of this,” he jumped into bed, landing right beside you.

You turned onto your side to face him, “What? Lounging in bed all day?”

“Precisely,” he kissed your cheek, “I just think it’s nice to relax like this sometimes. Having company just makes it better, and you being that company, well…” he grinned. “Makes it the best in the world.”

You moved closer to him, “Hmm, you’re pretty good company too, y’know.”

“Pretty good?” He dramatically scoffed, “That’s all I get? Is pretty good?”

“Yep,” you shrugged playfully.

He sat up, resting his hand on your hip to turn you on your back. “Pretty good isn’t going to do, I guess I’ll have to change your mind.”

Tom missed you, constantly. He didn’t want to have to feel like he was sleeping on his own, even while you were laying right beside him. He blamed himself. It all started when he had to go for work, but it was his dream. You were happy for him, and he knew that, but part of him couldn’t help but feel guilty.

Really, it was no one’s fault. Both of you knew that deep down, but getting you to admit it would be impossible. Things were easier to cope with when there was someone to blame, someone to point a finger to. But no one deserved the blame, at least not in this case.

“Hey,” Tom walked into the kitchen, rubbing his tired eyes.

Your gaze remained on the muffin batter, “Hey.”

He looked to your hands, watching you as you stirred. You had more than well enough stirred the batter, not that you had noticed, so he figured you were lost in thought again. He knew that when you baked things like that, especially so late at night, it was because your mind was restless and there were countless things running through your brain.

“Making muffins?” He took a seat at the counter.

“Hmm, oh,” you stopped stirring. “Yeah, I am. Couldn’t sleep.”

He smiled weakly, “Me neither.”

Every conversation was like that. Few words were shared, little effort was put into it. They were less of conversations and more of silence fillers, just an excuse to fill the void. Neither of you really paid much attention to whatever was being said, either too lost in analyzing the other person or too lost in your own thoughts. It used to be that you could make a conversation out of anything, and it wasn’t because you felt obligated too but because it just seemed to happen naturally.

“Making cookies? At two in the morning, are you okay, darling?” Tom came into the kitchen, kissing your cheek and resting his hand on the small of your back.

Your hair was a mess and you looked exhausted, it was clear you had never fallen asleep. “Did I wake you?”

“No, no. I just needed a drink and realized you weren’t there. I figured you’d be in here baking.” He leaned against the counter beside you, “You never went to sleep?”

“Umm,” you brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, “no? I’m just… I’m nervous for tomorrow. The interview is a big deal for me.”

“You’re going to do great, you know that right?” He pushed himself off the counter, “I mean, you’re more than qualified for the job, any company would do well to hire you, you’re such a hard worker, a--”

“I get it,” you smiled. “I mean, you remind me of all of that all the time.”

“And I’ll happily keep going.” He held your hand between his own hands, “I mean it, every single word of it. I could go on and on, never ending.”

You looked up at him and laughed, “I don’t think other people would much appreciate that.”

“Who cares? People should know how wonderful you are,” he kissed your cheek, “and that includes yourself.”

You got the muffin tin out, setting it down and filling it with liners. All he could do was watch, unsure of what to say. You hardly even noticed he was still there as you were quickly absorbed in your own thoughts again.

Could things ever go back to the way they were? Would you be able to spend time with him without it feeling like a task? Would you ever at least be able to talk to him just because, not because you had what felt like scheduled time with him? You didn’t know how much longer you could live this way. You were watching your relationship falling apart slowly in front of you and you felt completely helpless.

“Lemme help?” Tom was beside you now, beginning to put muffin batter into the tin as you finished with the liners.

“Thanks,” you mumbled.

He smiled softly, nodding as he continued his work. At least this seemed simple and organic enough. Sure, it was small and seemingly unimportant but it felt nice for a moment, to be so close and actually feel somewhat normal. You couldn’t help but question it though. Maybe it was just another lame attempt to make things normal without really trying.

You knew, or at least figured, that he wanted things to be normal again too. You just felt like every time either of you tried you weren’t actually trying. It felt forced. It was obvious that neither of you knew what to do about your situation but instead of trying to figure it out together you were just awkwardly trying to force past it individually. It wasn’t right, and it definitely didn’t feel as if it were.

And Tom knew the truth. He knew that your relationship had been stuck in a rut for a while now, and that neither of you really knew how to get out. He felt helpless too. No matter what either of you tried to do it didn’t help. In the start you kept it between the two of you, but as it got worse more people began to notice. No one judged, it wasn’t their place, but they did try to talk to you guys separately about it. It was like when everyone started to figure out that you were even dating in the first place.

“So, umm,” you shut the door behind you as you entered Tom’s apartment, “I’m pretty sure Harry knows we’re together.”

Tom put his arm on the back of his couch, looking back at you. “Why do you say that?”

You took your jacket off, “Well, he just straight up asked me if we were over the phone.”

“Oh?” He laughed, “Guess that’s a pretty good sign.”

You sat beside him, tucking your feet under yourself. He readjusted himself, sitting on one of his feet and the other resting on the floor.

“Wonder what made it obvious,” he grinned.

You chuckled and rolled your eyes, “Maybe it was the way you were so touchy at dinner with him yesterday.”

“From what I recall, you were the one running your hand up my thigh, no?” He noticed your cheeks turning pink.

You cleared your throat, “Yeah, but I’m pretty sure he saw you kiss my cheek before we all left.”

He laughed, “No night would be complete without it, so it was totally worth getting caught.”

How was it so easy to lose all of that? It’s like it was just slowly slipping past your fingertips like sand, completely unable to grip onto any of it to save. But you could remember it all so clearly, as if the memories were from only yesterday yet years ago at the same time. If anything, remembering it all just made the pain worse. Remembering was like rubbing what you had in your own face. It was strange but you were almost jealous of yourself, because at least the old you was happy then.

You wanted it to work, for everything to be okay. You knew it wasn’t going to happen, at least not any time soon. Tears welled in your eyes daily, aching for any sense of familiarity in your relationship.

“Tom, I don’t think I can do this anymore.” You were sitting at the counter, staring at your cup of water.

He knew exactly what you were talking about but part of him wanted to have hope. “I know.”

You turned the cup around in your hands, “It’s just…”

“Empty,” he finished.

For the first time that night you looked at him, “Yeah.”

[cookiedoughmeagain]

Haven DVD commentaries: 5.17 - Enter Sandman

Notes on the commentary for 5.17 with Lucas Bryant (director for the episode) and Shernold Edwards (writer for the episode)

This is a fun one and is by far the highest serious-to-ridiculous ratio from Lucas I have ever heard. Really lovely to hear him talk about how much he loved directing this episode. (As always this is not necessarily direct word-for-word quotes but hopefully captures the nature of the conversation.)

SE: So this was fun. I didn’t think it was going to be fun, but it was. LB: Wow - you were scared? SE: I was nervous! Because you’ve been working with this character for much longer than I have, and you guys are so tight you know your characters so well, you know the show. I was a fan of the show before I started, but you guys are /inside/ the show. LB: Right, interesting. SE: So I was writing it for you and I wanted it to be good. And I wanted it to be emotional but also I felt like it was a bit of a departure. LB: Totally. SE: And I was nervous too that the fans might be upset. LB: Right. Well personally this is one of my favourite episodes ever. SE: Oh me too. LB: Not necessarily because of what I did, but just reading it, it was fan-freaking-tastic. SE: So this [dream!Audrey on the phone] was one of the first shots that came through in the dailies and I looked at that and I was like; Lucas is a director! Look at the window, and the view, and she looks great. And we had looked at wardrobe and decided the short jacket looked great. And then seeing this I was like; That isn’t the short jacket I picked! But then I was like: Ahhh what a good choice! Because it flows! LB: Oh I didn’t know that I was breaking the rules. SE: No, you weren’t. I thought the short one was pretty but you made a better choice. LB: Oh good. I’m glad you think so.

LB: So this scene [Nathan finding Audrey on unconscious on the classroom floor] we actually shot this with the previous episode that was directed by Rick Bota, and thankfully he let me shoot this scene together with the end of the last episode where Audrey finds Grayson unconscious. SE: So how long before you guys did that did you know that you were going to have to shoot this scene? LB: It came up in scheduling, just because I thought it made sense because we were going to be in there already and set up to shoot a similiar scene. And it actually was awful because I was working that day, shooting - I mean working as an actor - and then I knew that this was coming in the afternoon. And it was totally sort of frazzled, and I was back and forth between planning the shot and being in the shot. And it was totally uncomfortable and awkward and weird. And I remember thinking, I do not want to have that experience for the rest of this thing, so it was great to get that out of the way. Because that happened, it happened for like an hour and then it was done and I got a couple days to think about what had happened and what I could do better and everything. So it was this sort of perfect trial by fire. But then at the same time I had Rick there to watch when I was on screen. Because that was the worst, I think, trying to do …. SE: Yeah like in the thing and watch the thing LB: Yeah. SE: So I’m sad because I love Kris Lemche [who plays Seth]. LB: So do I. SE: He’s so awesome. I think he just got cast in a CW pilot playing a role that’s very similar to this. So I’m just going to go on record and say that Kris Lemche should be thanking Nick Parker who originated this character. But I’m sad because I wrote this whole thing about his lustrous hair that ended up getting cut out. And I just thought somebody should pay homage to the lustrous hair. I tried but, the scene ran long. LB: I know, it was so good. It was funny and it was great, but that was part of the sad reality I realised of doing this - because it ended up running long, then any piece of anything that could possibly get taken out, got killed. SE: Yeah, I know. And it’s usually the fun stuff. LB: Yeah. SE: But a lot of the fun stuff did stay in this and I’m so glad. And I’m so glad you directed this one. But I wanted to ask you, because it feels like you didn’t have a lot of lead up time, between knowing that you had to shoot that scene that you were in and actually doing it. LB: Right, it didn’t. SE: So was that weird? Did you have to block yourself? LB: Yes. So we, Rick and I were shooting in that location the week previously, so thankfully I had a bunch of time between scenes to walk around, so any time I wasn’t shooting I go and nervously write things down. So I talked about it with Rick, and he told me what he was thinking, and I decided that those lines - those visual lines - could work for where our characters were going to be. SE: Oh yeah of course becuase that was a direct follow on from the previous episode LB: Yeah because Audey comes in the room, so I was like; Well Nathan can just come in the same way so we don’t have to light that again, we just do the same thing. SE: So going in to this I was aware that you were going to be directing and that we’d want to lighten you up as an actor LB: Yes! Thank you! SE: But I was also sad about it too because scenes like this one between you and Charlotte, we don’t get to do that a lot. We’ve got all this mythology stuff that needs to come in and case of the week stuff LB: Right. SE: And the fans, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, kind of like your face. And when your face is not on screen I kind of feel like they blame me. *Some joking around about who is actually in charge of the show and who’s fault it therefore actually is* SE: When this thing airs, I’m taking my name out of the phone book LB: Everyone - Shernold did all of us a favour by keeping my face out of this a little bit, so dial back the hate mail. SE: Goodness, and then also upset at Audrey even thinking about marrying anybody else. I’m going to keep my dog inside, and close all my windows, and hunker down. LB: It’s a TV show, people! Everyone knows the love story, the true love story, OK? It’s just … give Shernold a break? SE: Yeah let’s give Shernold a break. OK this guy [playing Sandman/Henry] was awesome. LB: Amazing. This whole experience was the coolest thing in the world for me. I absolutely loved it. And I got incredibly lucky in so many ways, it felt like it was divine at every turn. The actors, the guest actors; Rossif [Sutherland who plays Sandman] is a fantastic actor and was totally game for everything, I think he was incredible. Tim Beresford who plays Grayson I thought was fantastic. SE: Yeah he was really good. He’s a friend of yours, right? LB: Yeah, he is. And Emily and Laura and everyone who had to go into this illusion just went in, really went for it. SE: Yeah they all totally went for it. And - our show is always very emotional, and serious things go on too so there has to be a level of seriousness to it. But I feel like because we got to do dreams, that we got to go in a different direction. LB: Totally. SE: And I don’t think I’ve ever seen Emily, or the Audrey character, as relaxed, or as buoyant, or affectionate - I mean there’s obviously a lot of affection between Audrey and Nathan - but as affectionate or unencumbered, as unencumbered-ly in love with someone. But I think a lot of that came from you. LB: Hmmm. Well. I think it came from you, from what you wrote. Because Audrey Parker is always encumbered by the weight of the world. She has all these things to deal with; her identity, her lack of identity, what is going on, saving the world. So for her to get to play a woman who doesn’t have a care in the world, this is the most perfect life possible. I think that she just embraced that. And it wasn’t a vapid character, because that was a concern. But it was really amazing. When we first see them together in that world, it made me - this whole experience made me love actors so much more as well. Because so often when I’m acting, you feel sort of powerless, you feel like this meatpuppet in many ways, you’re being told what to do. And a lot of times you feel this frustration of not being able to really have this voice that you think you should have. Now, getting to watch actors, as the director, I was like; That is so freaking not true. And I am going to try to never feel like that again. Because from the moment that I said ‘Action’ until ‘Cut’ we were completely in an actor’s world. Like there would be scenes where I’d be thinking; I don’t even know how I’m going to do this or what I’m going to tell them. And they would just come in and bring it to life. And it was joyous to watch. To the point that there’s all the stupid pictures of me with my mouth so wide open leaning in at the monitors like a freaking idiot. SE: I think you should post those because I think people will want to see those. LB: *laughs* But I was really just so joyously appreciating getting to watch these performances. Because when you’re in it, it doesn’t feel good, it feels yucky. I mean these guys are fighting about the loves of their lives or potential deaths and imminent doom … SE: This guy [Sandman] is scary as shit LB: … so it was such a nice experience for me. SE: I have to say, this was one of the times where I regret not going up to set this season. Going up to set is not easy, because everyone works really hard, we have long hours, and we’re away from a lot of the amenities of the city, it’s not easy. What makes it good is the great people, the Haven crew (and the delicious food we get to eat.) The bugs, I’m not into. The ticks, I’m not into. LB: Yep. They’re lame. SE: The heat and the cold simultaneously, I’m not into. So, I wasn’t heart-broken when we were told that writers wouldn’t be going up to set for season five. Except for this episode. I wanted to be there for this.

LB: So this week, those first couple days, thankfully you kept me mostly out of this and the way it worked out schedule-wise was that other than that first bit that we shot a couple days earlier with Rick, I got to just direct for the first four days. SE: Oh that’s awesome. LB: So it was three days at the mansion, in the fantasy world, and then one day at the school where it was all Dwight and Sandman stuff. So for the first four days I didn’t have to put on any make up or get out of my own clothes. So I just got to focus on these guys. So this, look how gorgeous this is [as Audrey and Henry greet Grayson in the dream world]. And a couple days before this, it was freezing. And a couple days after, it was freezing. And when Emily first came out in the dress later on, it was so stunning. And we were outside and she had this wrap on, and we were thinking it would be nice if she took the wrap off, but it’s so cold out here. So I’m like; Great, I’m now the guy that gets to go and talk to her and ask if she’ll take the wrap off. And I’d been out there days before and it was freezing. Initially we wanted to put her on the dock, but I was just like; That’s going to be awful. So she said she’d try it. And it was like as she removed the wrap, the sun came through the clouds and I swear it was like 12 degrees warmer, the wind died, and we got this amazing shot - you’ll see it later - where the sun’s directly behind her, and it just seemed like we had done the best planning you could ever do. But we just got totally lucky.

SE: This was one of my favourite scenes [where Duke first gets Seth to remember Haven]. Kris is so funny. And I loved those words when they were on the page, but the little pauses that he puts in, in the delivery. LB: Yeah, he is one of the funniest people I’ve ever met. SE: And so nice. It sounds really cliche, but this dude is really nice. LB: Super sweetheart. Fantastic actor. Hilarious, lovely person. And the two of them together [Kris Lemche and Eric Balfour], it was like, again, I just watched. And laughed, and enjoyed. And I was like; I don’t have anything to tell you guys, other than; you’re awesome. And one of these scenes with them - or maybe they got cut in half, but one of them was like four and a half pages or something. It was a pretty long scene of the two of them going back and forth. So I was like; Do you guys want to rehearse one? But they were like; Let’s just shoot it. And I swear to god, the first take, boom, they had everything down. I was like; Thank god.  And that’s when you really see the difference between what makes a pro actor. Because you don’t have time for someone to be; Sorry, what was that? And that’s me, all the time, forgetting my lines. Thankfully Nathan doesn’t say much. SE: Which is not my fault either. Nathan is a man of few words. LB: I actually usually ask for less. Like; Can I not say that? SE: You do! Can I do that with a look? Can I just frown at that? Can I convey all that with just a frown? And then you do. LB: Right. Let’s just let Audrey talk, and I’ll observe her. But yeah when you have those huge scenes which Kris and Balfour did that day with those big scenes just the two of them, they just killed it. I had to do nothing.

[As Charlotte is talking to Sandman] SE: This scene was fun. We don’t usually get much sexy on this show. And I like how you’ve got Dwight there [through the window behind], looking in at his lady. LB: Yeah this was a little sexy. And she totally went for it. SE: She did. And that squeal that’s coming up? I didn’t think I was going to be allowed to do it. LB: I know, I remember we were sitting in this office, having that conversation. I think you wrote it in the script as ‘sorrority girl squeal’. And I was like ummmm, is that for real? But then I got on board, and we were like; Let’s do it and see. And she did it and SE: And she did it, but I thought for sure it was going to get cut out. I thought it just wouldn’t make it - at every turn. I thought the network would cut it out, I thought the studio would cut it out. LB: I think there were a couple voices that were wondering about it but I think the amazing thing about this episode was you could say, well, it’s an illusion. It’s not real. That was just a really good go, if someone was wondering; I don’t know if in Haven, we should …? It’s like; You have to remember this is an illusion. SE: Yeah, this is not Haven. [Charlotte doing her sorority squeal] SE: Oh Laura Mennell, you make me so happy. And then Emily’s face lights up as well. It’s just nice to see that character, even though she’s completely in a place where she shouldn’t be - if she had any power over herself she wouldn’t even touch another man except for Nathan - but to see her just being so free, and happy.

[Charlotte helping Henry with his cufflinks] LB: I thought he was hilarious in this scene. And when he tries to snap her back .. when he … SE: You’re still directing! Oh my gosh, you guys couldn’t see but Lucas was looking at Laura Mennell’s close-up, going; Oh there’s a thing there … LB: When he’s calling her back to the illusion here I love this. So again, we had zero time for these scenes because this was six days, this episode. SE: Oh yeah, you had to do this in six days! LB: So Eric Cayla, who is amazing and held my hand through all of this and was incredibly supportive and insightful. SE: He’s the most manly gentle man, and he’s a gentleman, but I mean he is gentle, and yet so macho at the same time. LB: He is, absolutely. SE: Like standing on set eating a wheel of expensive delicious cheese with a knife. LB: Yeah, that he takes out of it’s own holder. But so, I wanted to do something visually special for the illusion that differentiated it from the world of Haven, so part of it was in the colour. But we were also talking about frames; like frames within frames within frames. So you’ll see a lot of square symmetrical shots, or like this [Grayson coming to see Audrey in her wedding dress] through doorways SE: That was kind of menacing [Grayson’s hand on the door handle], I didn’t intend that. LB: Because you don’t know who’s hand that is SE: Yeah. Nice work! And look at that [wedding] dress. That was the first choice, right? That was the first dress any of us saw. LB: Yes, and I was like: Oh god, they’re going to go try on wedding dresses, this is going to be the biggest shit show, the decision of which dress to wear. SE: Yeah I thought it was going to be a hideous conversation. LB: And so I thought I would defer to the ladies and just shut up. So they sent out five pictures, and I think every single one of us picked the same one. There wasn’t even a question. SE: I think it’s one of the only unanimous decisions on the show. LB: Ever.

SE: So I had suspected it watching the dailies, but then also I was talking to some of our production managers up there and, the entire crew came together for you. LB: Yes they did. SE: In a way that was just special. LB: It was so special. SE: Everyone wanted you to do well, everyone was trying their best. And it worked. And I know you brought 80% of it, but I think if you weren’t the kind of person that you are, and the kind of professional that you are then people would have been just like; … yeah good luck LB: Well yeah totally. They could have completely sunk me. And I can’t say it enough, I spent basically two weeks on the verge of tears, just from pure joy. It was so incredible. And every single step from you guys here in LA, the production team in Nova Scotia and all of the crew - every single person totally supported me. Told me that they were going to support me. Made me feel supported. It was incredible. And then to see what a group of 150 people working together can do in 10 minutes? It’s amazing. SE: Yeah I mean I tried to write to the six day schedule, but I was not convinced. I was not sure it was going to be possible to get all that done in six days. LB: I think that’s just the way TV is going now that people are just squeezing more … Oh this is a nice shot of the two of them [Henry and Grayson] silhouetted in the doorway. It was all so beautiful and I was so freaking lucky. It was overwhelming, the love and support. SE; That was great! [Grayson’s body disappearing from the dream world] That was terrific!! LB: Oh good. SE: I hadn’t seen that but that is exactly how I had written it. Thank you! LB: Oh no, thank you. Although we should thank the post production people. SE: That was great that was the first time I’ve seen that. LB: Oh good.

LB: So a lot of trying to get through those days of blocking and scheduling stuff in the dream sequence in particular was we were trying to find lighting set ups, or share locations. And I’ve got to give it up to these guys [Adam as Dwight and Rossif as Sandman in the principal’s office] because I think this was the fourth day of shooting and it was all these two, all day. SE: Did you do it chronologically. LB: Yeah they went chronologically and they went from the first scene to the last scene non stop SE: No way. LB: Yep, so we would sit on Adam and he would do …what is it, 12 pages? SE: The whole thing? What! LB: Yeah. A 22 minute take. So to the camera guys; Thank you, and, I’m sorry. Because they were like; If I didn’t like you, you would be fucking dead right now man. Because it was hand held. So they’re holding the camera and shaking. They did an incredible job and it was just about letting these two guys go for it, and they wanted to. It was totally awesome to see, It was like theatre, we would watch it for 20 minutes.And again, totally pro. And Adam who only started being a TV actor a couple years ago, came and did this super professional badass shit. I was so blown away by him. I think he is excellent in this episode, I loved directing him, and he yeah, would go from start to finish, 20 minute take, killing it every time. Amazing. SE: That’s incredible. I had a lot of fun writing those two. One of my favourite things to write, for some reason, is a grumpy white guy. And that was a lot of fun, these two guys threatening each other. And for this two [Charlotte telling dream!Audrey about the Troubles]. I’m always interested in our Troubled people, but can’t always spend that much time with the Troubled people because they’re not the stars and they’re not what people want to see. But because of the way this was structured, and because you were directing and didn’t want to be on screen all that much, then I got to spend a lot of time with Dwight and our Sandman. LB: Totally. And I loved how he got a really character-y episode.

SE: Look at that hair. LB: He’s got good hair. SE: Beautiful LB: Are we talking about Balfour’s hair? Or Lemche’s hair? SE: I take the fifth on Balfour’s hair but he’s a handsome man. LB: I like that hair. And Lemche does ...- I missed the mustache though.

SE: Hey, did our crew make that? LB: Yes, that is fake. We are standing in front of the studio, we were in the parking lot of the studio for this whole day. So yes that entrance there used to be a … SE: And the gas thing and whatever? LB: Yes, that is a fake gas thing, no gas comes from it.

LB: I love this; it’s a very loud van [Seth driving away from Duke claiming the engine’s too loud to hear him] I apologise for letting them, but I let them ad lib whatever and whenever they wanted. SE: That’s fine. They were funny.

SE: Oh and this is the shot when the sun came out? [Emily sat on the bench in the wedding dress] LB: This is when the sun came out. And I wish, ideally my hope for that sequence was as a much longer shot that started further back and would go super slowly up towards her. But the constraints of the fact that we can’t just let it be an hour and ten minute episode meant that had to get trimmed. But yeah it was just so stunning. SE: I’m not a big wedding person, but I was wildly invested in that tiara. LB: I remember SE: I was a bit of a beast about the tiara LB: You were totally serious. You were like; I am talking freaking Cinderalla, with the white gloves, the tiara, the whole thing. SE: I wanted something with height. And to Joanne I have to say, you do a beautiful job, and I know you resisted, and I will say - you were right. We did not need a tiara that was a foot high.

SE: Oh I hadn’t seen this [montage flashback of Naudrey moments]. This is cute! The feels! Oh you guys can’t be mad at me, look at all this Nathan/Audrey stuff. Stop tweeting me! LB: I don’t think people will be mad. This is one of the coolest Nathan and Audrey … SE: Wow! That [montage] was longer than I thought too. LB: And that was one of those things that was conceived in editing, really. Because we had talked about the possibility of some flashback moments here. And Shawn Pillar was instrumental in creating that.

[Seth driving along rocking out to the radio] SE: Look how cute he is! LB: It’s hilarious. SE: It is really funny. And look we’ve got foliage finally. LB: Yeah, the colours [on the trees[ SE: We got to shoot in fall! LB: I saw a bit of the next couple episodes when it’s full on fall. I just did ADR SE: Oh is that the one where they’re outside LB: Yeah and the yellow house.Stunning. The fall was beautiful. I mean, it wasn’t that fun shooting, but I knew at some point it was going to look totally gorgeous. SE: I’m looking forward to seeing that one. I haven’t seen much at all from 5B because we were writing like demons and everything so it’s going to be all new to me.

[Audrey and Henry talking on the bench and he puts his hands to her throat] SE: Woah. When you did that, I was like; Whaaat?! That’s powerful. Because I thought, is he going to strangle her? And how can she be so calm. LB: Well he started doing that, because he started touching her and holding her face. And there was something sinister about it, so I was like, yeah, let’s go there. SE: Yeah and I mean normally - I don’t know I didn’t even intend this - but what I’m thinking is that because we’re still partially in the dream world. Because I think normally in that situation Audrey would be like; What? Get your hands off me! Punching him in the face LB: Absolutely SE: But this is a little different, this is still so intimate. I mean she’s not feeling it, obviously, because it’s all Nathan for her. LB: But she’s still not completely out. She’s still not Audrey Parker yet. SE: It’s really powerful. LB: Yeah it was an interesting line to try and figure out. Because yeah, when she remembers is she herself again? But she’s still in this world, he hasn’t fully released her.

[As the dream world starts to fracture around them] SE: That’s really cool. That’s what I pictured when I said it turns into a bit of a nightmare for him. That’s really good. LB: Good. SE: And I didn’t really expect this from the actor either. Because I think I put something lame in there like; ‘He screams in frustration’ or something. Which I know no actor wants to do but I had to put something in there for people who read scripts and don’t necessarily know what it’s going to look like when it’s done. LB: Totally. And that was just him in front of a green screen by himself. And he just went for it. And Emily wasn’t even there. He was just standing there doing those final moments on his own and I just let it go, and let him do it over and over. He did like 20 different takes, but so beautifully vulnerable and angry and lovely and lost. And that’s what I thought was really wonderful about his performance that you ended up carrying about him. And this song [that’s playing as Audrey and Charlotte wake up] Adam turned me on to it a long time ago and told me; Whenever I hear this I always think of Audrey and Nathan. SE: Ah that’s so sweet LB: So when it came to my episode I listened to it again and thought we’d throw it here in the end. SE: That’s a lovely image [Henry on a bench in the empty dream world]. I wasn’t quite sure what that was going to be like with him alone. I never really settled on what I thought that should look like and I think you made a good choice. It’s nice to see these two [Audrey and Charlotte]. What’s fun for me is that we didn’t have a lot of just Audrey and Charlotte stuff, even though we knew that they were mother and daughter. So I tried to use the dream sequence to bring them closer. LB: Yeah, I think that really worked.

SE: This was fun LB: It was! SE: You did a good job man. LB: Thank you.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 Ep 25: Oh Hai Mai

Heyyy we’re back. Thank for bearing with me, it’s been kind of chaos over here. Everything from a pandemic (we are very sloooowly reopening over here but I’ve been quarantined so long I can french braid my damn leg hair.) to important political protests, to getting an evacuation order because an arsonist burned down 90 acres in the heat of summer (luckily we’re all fine), to a vole that ate everything in my pandemic self-care garden so I lost my entire mind and waged war and dug so many holes and put out 17 mouse traps and set off so many critter bombs under the ground trying to kill the little bastard like it was Caddyshack (It’s still alive, ps, I lost that war). These last 3 months have been the longest decades of my life. The only month longer was the one where I’m pretty sure I had mono and it made me positive that my basement was haunted.

Man, bring back my haunted basement, Sorry if this comes through in my writing, I tried but, I can’t edit it out. You get FML-Rachel today.

Lets get back to a good, mindless distraction, lets turn on Yugioh.

BUT------->it just so happens that this episode of Yugioh has cop stuff in it, I’m just going to be blunt. We’re going into Valon’s backstory, he’s very much a victim of problems within the bizarre Yugioh legal system, and much like a Gotham supervillain, he is a symptom of the problem more than the cause.

I’m not going to ignore that, but in case you are overwhelmed about that right now, if you want to like...save this for later--I have another FMA recap coming out soon that I wrote in a simpler time before....the corona freakin ruined us all.

Last we left off, we were on the heels of Joey Wheeler, who decided to book it down the street because he wants to murder the hell out of Valon.

Youknow...Joey is one hell of a protagonist. He just does...so MANY antagonistic things.

Joey has decided that although the world is ending, and everyone left alive will be absorbed into the Great Leviathon’s big yummy tummy, which can only be prevented by three people, of which he is one of--he’s going to go sprint in completely the other direction.

We even managed to get Kaiba on board. We were ready. We were done, but then Joey had to lose his freakin mind because that’s just what Joey Wheeler does sometimes.

Normally heroes avoid the call to duty because of a severe lack of self confidence, but this is Joey, and he’s going to avoid the call to duty because of too much self confidence.

And so Joey and his Chaperone turn a corner and walk into this random orc who’s just casually living his best life and touring SF.

One of my worst fears walking through SF, tbh. Running into high school people. Not so much the orcs.

Yo, I wonder what the bushman was doing through all of this? So IRL, we have this guy who just...hides in a bush and jump-scares tourists. I can’t imagine what it must be like to be in a bush and then just...all these orcs show up and you’re all.

...oh no, now I’m the fool...

I just want to know if bushman made it, or if he’s in a paper card that’s just a picture of foliage.

(read more under the cut)

Anyway, Joey was already in the process of running, so they just turned around on this street of...so much parking.

Like y’all there is SO MUCH PARKING this episode. I was trying to pay attention to anything else, but like...do you see this!? It takes nearly half an hour usually to get a spot but this--this right here?

And the crazy thing is, recently my bro had to go pick up some old guy from a cruise that...got quarantined...and so bro had to go the Pier and like--this is what the city looked like. This is a pandemic, it’s just lots of parking, so I want to criticize Yugioh, and I normally would, but I can’t. I’ve seen the receipts. They called it. This is what the endtimes look like and it’s so much parking.

Also, they were too lazy to draw cars but damn, they called it.

So, left with no other option, Joey decides to...be Joey, and punches a huge orc covered in armor.

So Valon’s here, because apparently SF has just...no one left alive in it except for these few kids and that one Uber Eats driver. I imagine it’s a lot easier to find Joey if you just follow the only one screaming in Japanese in a Brooklyn accent at the top of his lungs.

And Valon decides that this one way street isn’t good enough, and that they must duel somewhere else.

I assumed it would be a tall structure, but considering Kaiba just blew up the tallest structures in the Financial District...I was like...what else is tall? And bear in mind, I’m a mess, so I was like...OMG I wish it were Macy’s!!!

Now I hear you saying that’s weird, and we shouldn’t have a very fancy Macy’s in 2020, and you’re correct. but we still have one, and the top floor is just...a massive Cheesecake factory, and I can’t think of anything more 00′s than a Yugioh duel on top of that specific Cheesecake Factory.

And I’ve never really thought before about where the best Yugioh duel would be, and it’s there. It’s at the high rise Cheesecake. Listen Yugioh, if you need an insider to choose locations for your Netflix remake of S4--call me.

So anyways, instead of doing the right thing and going to the Cheesecake Factory on top of Macy’s like any other self respecting 00′s teenager, Valon and Joey are going to drive through the most boring parts of town.

They had an opportunity to go chase eachother through any tourist attraction, Lombard street, Ghirardelli Square, the Palace of Fine Arts, China town, reuse some assets and drive through Japan town, that fountain that looks like Yoda--but no...they decided to drive through literal trash.

Just...a missed opportunity, and it should have been a Cheesecake Factory.

Also, I totally and fully acknowledge that a strange nostalgic affection for the Cheesecake Factory is a weird Millennial thing (much like our weird encyclopedic knowledge of Sailor Moon) but listen. You have your thing, too. You go do you, I’m gonna soak my sorrows in a bowl of Chinese chicken salad so wide, it’ll last me 3 days.

Anyways, Joey’s gonna steal that guy’s bike.

Yugioh just predicting the future in 2003. We actually have a HUGE problem right now with vehicle theft in the city to an almost comedic degree, which is partly why the parking situation has gotten so incredibly dire. It’s kind of incredible that this guy left his bike out because after about 1 day in the city you learn pretty fast that you need to be constantly checking on your street parked vehicle--I mean, that guy was just asking for it, honestly. If Joey hadn’t taken it, some other guy would have absolutely taken it, (even that orc would’ve taken it, the city has no consideration for cars.)

Sorry --one sec-- that was an earthquake just now. As I’m typing this. Just a little guy. Just a little treat for me...

...but still like...c’mon. I’m also getting this weird issue where Tumblr doesn’t save my drafts so like...this is like the 3rd time I’ve had to write this like...I just want to make a Yugioh post for my tiny funtime tv blog, Universe. Don’t @ me right now, Universe.

SO MUCH FREAKIN PARKING.

...is it the space between two piers? What is this? We don’t have rivers in SF, it is a peninsula covered in very steep hills. Like very VERY steep hills. All water just rolls into the ocean and there’s a couple of lake thingies but...no rivers that I know of (And like maybe this is a thing, and I just haven’t seen it? Learn something new every day.)

*loud, audible sigh* home. Where we belong. At the warehousssssssse.

Back at the RV base, Duke Devlin is still babysitting. Maybe this is to make up for the two seasons he spent trying to date a girl Rebecca’s age, that they felt like going out of their way to show that he has indeed no longer horny now. Got to hand it to them, that’s a lot of character development right there. Although at the same time, it has made Duke Devlin a very non-character.

But imagine how insanely complicated would it have been if Duke got involved in that bizarre love-square that is Yugi, Tea, and the Ghost that killed Yugi by accident.

PS that’s either a freeway onramp (which is too far South from where they were, I think) or it sure does look like old Embarcadero behind them. Youknow, that lifted street from the 80′s that fell down in Loma Prieta and was never rebuilt? I just freakin love that it’s still here in 2003. This bizarre Yugioh alternate California.

Anyway, because this is alternate California, Seto set a massive fire and the entire city didn’t immediately go up in flames. Apparently they just kinda ran away from the explosion and damage before anyone noticed.

Probably because most people on Earth are dead anyway, so what more can these two actually do?

And so Yami ends up getting lectured by the wife.

And justifiably, the wife seems to have absolutely no confidence that Yami will be able to do a damn thing right.

Wifes all around this episode.

Speaking of,

At this point, Arthur Hawkins senses that Yami’s nearby, so he opens the door just to freakin dump some guilt on him.

...Rebecca seems to be a character that’s mostly there to recap the lore and also to dump on Yami. I don’t mind that. Yami needs to get dunked more often, and I’m saying that in S4, where the entire season’s tagline is “how many times can we dunk on Yami?”

So lets check on Yugi, how’s that kid doing? It’s been quite a number of episodes since we last saw him.

Yep, still hanging out in the Han Solo cosplay room.

And then, because I guess everyone is just hanging out in the same 4 blocks, Mai and Tristan have a heart-to-heart.

In the show, this conversation was Mai (who is now a serial killer) saying “Oh hey, Tristan, where’s Joey?” and Tristan saying “It’s ALL YOUR FAULT he wants to kill Valon--thanks a lot, Mai! GODS!” all indignant like.

Not how you would ordinarily talk to a serial killer, just saying. No one from the Yugi crew fears this woman...at all...and she has killed over 20 people in front of them and is trying very hard to kill Joey Wheeler all the time.

Like what would it actually take for them to fear this woman? They can’t, right?

Meanwhile, Valon is trying to explain to Joey that his obsession with Mai is in fact damaging any relationship they could have had.

So then when you’re like OK...this is actually very valid points on Valon’s part, and Joey really does need to step back and let people make their mistakes considering Joey was barely a part of her life to begin with. But then, Valon just turns a 180 and...it becomes a catty love triangle where only one person in the triangle even feels romantic emotions.

I just...so Valon is doing this fight because he thinks Mai is in love with Joey.

This whole time I was like “well maybe it’s more that Valon is trying to defend Mai’s right to make her own choices” but no...he just straight up thinks Mai is in love with Joey. And, in fighting Joey, Valon himself is ignoring Mai’s life choices

Just a whole lot of misunderstanding that would have been fixed with better ways than dueling with cards. At least that one guy in S2 who tried to marry Mai actually dueled HER instead of some random guy.

It just really feels like these boys are having a pissing contest and Mai was never let in on the deets that this was even happening.

Mai needs to hang out with older men. Set her up with Roland, this is ridiculous.

Back at the RV, which got very, very big in this shot, Seto has an odd convo with Mokuba about how they are probably not going to get Kaiba Corp back. And then no one really argued with him about that.

He’s taking it really well. Maybe because this isn’t even the first time or the second time or even really the third time Seto’s lost everything. Kid’s really freakin great at failure. At least this time Mokuba isn’t currently abducted, which is really good improvement for these two.

Outside the RV, Tristan has decided to...give up as well, just right here, in the middle of traffic. Then he gets Orc’d...these orcs are kind of like Slenderman, in that they kinda...show up...but then that’s all they do because the designers didn’t actually want to animate anything.

And then this happens.

God bless this story boarder for this random series of events presented in just this way.

Also here’s yet another example where Tea just has...no fear. She’s actually only out here because she was like “that’s it, we’re getting another driver” and was going to chew out Duke Devlin. The Orc being in the middle of the road was not the reason she walked out here.

Anyways, Yami killed it because everyone here can just throw cards forever, these things are not threatening.

The subplot of everyone refusing to drive with Duke Devlin after he busted his car in Death Valley is still ongoing, and it’s still low key hilarious that no one will outright say “Duke, your driving is just so bad” and instead, Duke just has to sit there and watch Joey STEAL A MOTORCYCLE just so he won’t have to drive shotgun with Duke Devlin.

Rebecca, our plot-dump device, then informs us that Valon has Special Rules.

Because Valon, if you’ve forgotten, has a card that allows him to physically punch his opponent in the face.

They should have invented that card a long time ago TBH.

SO, lets get into Valons tragic backstory. First off, go turn on your Les Mis Soundtrack, because this is some old school cop stuff.

So apparently Valon, as a child just...stayed in the system forever. We don’t know why yet, but lets just assume that it’s tragic and heavy handed. If he steals a loaf of bread and ends up in 12 Juvies (which is a line from the show and not an exaggeration--12 Juvies) then I will expect him to be singing by the end of this and I will be very disappointed if he does not.

Anyways, he was such an asshole, that he caught the attention of some very illegal rich bastard who was trying to turn prisoners into...card murders. (it was Dartz.) because apparently...Dartz also funds prisons and that is...that is some deep lore.

And so probably about the same time that Yugi was Dueling to the death on Pegasus’ Island, and about the same time that Marik was hanging out in the ocean next to Pegasus’ Island with a pair of binoculars, and about the same time that Noah was underneath Pegasus’ Island just watching Pegasus steal KaibaCorp, Dartz decided to make his OWN murder island--because I guess he got jealous.

Anyway, Valon won, and didn’t even need to set anyone on fire.

Those little green things there--those are all souls of prison inmates.

YUGIOH.

Millennials got DARK, OK? Freakin...we had a show for 9 year olds that went deep into the school-to-prison pipeline and didn’t even try to hide it under any layers of symbolism. Like Hunger Games at least had two people survive.

This was a show to sell PAPER CARDS.

+++++++++++THIS IS A RANT WHERE I WENT OFF ABOUT PRISON TALK IN KID’S SHOWS FEEL FREE TO SKIP++++++++++++++++++++

Now, there’s a lot of good conversation going on right now about errors in the modern justice system on not just a local scale, but on a global scale, especially regarding racial profiling and criminalization of poor, sick, and young, and we better keep pushing it. But it’s surprising when people pretend like this hasn’t been talked about for a long time. Because...we’ve been talking about it in kids and YA shows for a long time. This is not something that just popped up in 2020.

Like millennials didn’t invent this obsession with dark and gritty stories with uncomfortable themes. It’s been around for thousands of years, but back in the 90′s and 00′s, a lot of shows for YA and younger enjoyed talking about the problems with prisons and abuse of power with our justice systems--a lot. Batman, X-men, Death Note, so so many, hell, even the OC.

And like, don’t get me wrong, we still have these shows running around, but I’ve been there’s been a trend of stories (not saying names) where just...nothing bad happens. And, that’s kind of sad because...they CAN have small elements that are more progressive in them, but only brought forth with a very risk-free cotton candy fluffy coating to make the majority of the population happy.

I could go long about this, and I’m getting very cryptic. If a kid escapes to more colorful worlds where nothing bad ever happens, that’s OK--sometimes you need that, but when nothing bad ever happens surrounding certain experiences where bad things normally happen--the meaning of the story changes because it isn’t a real experience anymore.

Like I don’t want to tangent too much, and I just had to delete a lot of examples, but I know a lot of people want to write stories about misrepresented minorities and about real deal serious situations and are just so afraid of misrepresentation that they go in completely the wrong direction by not putting in anything uncomfortable at all. I think it’s important to look at the work and ask yourself is this about the minority the work should be about--or is this work about patting the majority of the population on the back and saying neat, we’ve achieved utopia without having to even do anything?

...anyway, obvi I’m ranting, but I feel like we’re taking a step backwards when it comes to the importance of kids programming and that we do need to talk to kids about prison again. This is a show about paper cards, and they don’t do a great job at talking about...the reality of prison, this was exaggerated with genre stereotypes, but at least they didn’t cover it with rainbows and unicorns, because this isn’t about how great Joey and the “normal” people are at saving Valon, this is about how society screwed Valon beyond repair, and I am 99% certain we will see this guy’s soul stuffed in a brick above Dartz’ snake fireplace.

Like, yeah he duels to the death on an island, but that’s imagery that is very close to real life prison issues. We don’t talk to kids a lot about how a lot of inmates get enlisted into the military during war times (and quite literally...duel to their death...on islands). We don’t talk about how we use inmates to betray eachother for a chance at maybe getting amnesty. We don’t talk about how a lot of the victims of this system are essentially children, and have been caught in a system of endless prison for what will probably be the rest of their lives. We don’t talk about how we’re systematically turning kids into criminals so much in kid’s shows of late...and Freakin Yugioh just did in a filler season. 

....................I think our standard for modern kids programming to talk about serious issues is way too low if Yugioh just threw this out there in a filler season, is all I’m saying.

++++++++++++++++++END OF PRISON RANT++++++++++++++++++++++

 So, Valon is free but...is he?

Not really, he’s just gone from one jailer to another, but at least this time he gets his own room. Don’t blame him for latching onto Dartz’ dream to end the world, because the world for him has been one behind bars. He doesn’t know it. Never been there.

It’s just interesting juxtaposed to Joey because Joey had some sort of Season Zero history with a gang and I haven’t watched that episode yet.

So that’s it for now, again, I’m very slooow lately. I slept for 3 hours today...and I don’t know why. But hey--we all got through three (four???) months of this...we just gotta go...one month at a time.

That and I accidentally did my taxes early so there’s that. See? Good things still happen.

Also, because I only slightly referenced the most incredible movie ever made on San Fransisco soil, I’ll just leave this here. The true hallmark of our city.

Anyway you know the drill, here’s the link

[zankivich]

The Arrangement: CEO’s Son/Dom!Shawn x Black Sub Reader Chapter 7

a/n: this is like my favorite chapter so far. I feel like I’ve been waiting this whole story to ge tot watch these two interact in this way. I hope it comes across as authentic. I worked really hard on the pacing for this story. You all have been incredibly kind to me lately with feedback for this story and I sincerely hope you keep it coming. It is without a doubt the brightest part of my days recently. Thank you so much for that. K bye. 

WARNINGS: sex without a condom (gotta wrap it before you tap it). mentioned of white supremacy, racism, and micro-aggressions. 

*Shawn’s point of view*

Nothing ever simultaneously works out. It never all gets to be perfect. His life had been a memoir with that exact theme and yet somehow he always let himself forget. Y/n leaves and he somehow has a date with her. A date. Not a hookup. Not some elaborate set up to make her cum. A date. With like conversation and personality. He hadn’t been on a date in years. And sure he knew he was really good at sex, but that didn’t mean shit about being able to actually hold a conversation. She was lightyears above him mentally, and he had no idea how he was going to manage to not fuck it up. But he had a date. She said yes. And that within itself was a win. So of course something in his life was going to have to go to shit. Hold that thought.

Brian makes it back sometime between his gym run and a shower. By the time he gets out, the asshole is sitting on his couch fucking up his kill rate on COD.

“Move over, jerkoff! And switch to two player.” He grunted plopping down on the couch beside him.

“Jeez, bro take it down a couple notches. I am nursing a hangover from the depths of hell over here.”

“Not my fault you can’t ever handle your liquor.”

“Well Melanie seemed to think I handled it just fine.”

“Melanie sounds like she’s still never had an orgasm before.”

Brian punched him in the bicep which only resulted in him returning the favor. Idiot.

“Not all of us sneak our hookups in in the middle of the night.”

He rolled his eyes fingers smashing on the controller.

“I didn’t sneak anyone. It’s my fucking apartment you idiot.”

“Yea, sure, whatever. Did you at least hook up with someone new?”

His fingers stumbled on the joystick, sending his player headfirst into a grenade. Lovely.

“No. No I didn’t.”

Brian looked over at him. “You fucked the same girl again?”

“I don’t think we should be equating Melanie and y/n here. y/n is a woman. A grown ass woman. Trust me, she never lets me forget.” He snorted.

“What is up with you and this chick? You never fuck the same person twice.”

He supposed now was as good a time as any. He actually was going to need shit for brains’ advice.

“I like her okay! I like her. And we hooked up last night but it was...it was different. I didn’t tell her what to do. I didn’t pull out any bells or whistles. I just...We just had sex. And she kissed me like she liked me too. So I asked her on a date.”

“A DATE?! I haven’t seen you go on a date since you were like a child!!”

“No shit, jackass. I’m going to need every fucking ounce of help I can get. And that includes your ass, unfortunately.”

“Stop pretending you don’t love me bitch. Now tell me how you plan to get a thirty year old woman who isn’t on drugs to actually enjoy spending time with your sorry ass.”

What are best friends for?

***

*y/n’s point of view*

y/n: I HAVE A DATE.

y/n: I NEED YOU HERE ASAP

Tiana: Oh shit. K. omw.

The last time you went on a date was in 2016, what some might call the beginning of Armageddon. After a slew of horrid dates, you had been completely and totally ready to throw in the towel. But then this cute guy came out of nowhere. He was nice, sweet, not very funny but in a way that made you laugh. He was also persistent enough to not take no for an answer, without it making you uncomfortable. No immediate red flags. So you went on the damn date. And all was well. It wasn’t an earth shattering date, but you weren’t not enjoying his company. And then it happened.

I just really think Trump will genuinely make America great again ya know?

You nearly choked on a piece of lettuce.

“Really bruh? In front of my salad?”

“No just hear me out though. Is he unorthodox, sure. But Hillary? Hillary and those emails. It just wouldn’t have worked.”

“I absolutely understand what you mean.”

“You do?” He smiled.

“Yep. CHECK PLEASE!”

“Bitch we do not have time for you to disassociate I am trying to make a wing here!” Tiana huffed.

You rolled your eyes and reached for your phone working to still your features so that Tianna could continue with your makeup.

y/n: Are you a republican?

Shawn: Well thank you for asking, I’ve had a lovely day. How was yours?

y/n: I’m serious.

Shawn: I’m Canadian.

“Shit. I’m so stupid.” You whined.

Tiana tugged at your chin. “Not stupid. But NOT still.”

“Sorry, ti.”

y/n: Would you have voted for Trump if you could have?

Shawn: No. No I wouldn’t have. What kind of a person do you think I am?

y/n: Idk. idk. I just needed to be sure. It never came up when you were tying my arms behind my back.

Shawn: You didn’t mention political discourse as one of your kinks. Is there something I should know before tonight?

y/n: No. It’s fine. I swear. Just haven’t been on a date in a really long time. And my last one didn’t go so well.

Shawn: It’s been a long time for me too. But I’d really like to have a go at it, if that’s okay with you?

y/n: yea, I’d like that. Should I meet you at your place still?

Shawn: Actually I’m gonna pick you up. I’ll be at your place at 7?

y/n: Oh. Okay.

“Hmmm.”

“Hmmm what? What’d he say?” Tiana asked.

“I’m not meeting at his place anymore. He’s picking me up.”

“Well where is he taking you?”

“If I knew that, Ti would I be sitting here in a ball of anxiety?!”

Tianna dropped her eyeliner brush and reach instead for the body lava. All hail Rihana.

“I sure hope he dicks you unconscious for a few hours. You have got to relax, sis.” She giggled. “It’s going to be alright, okay? He likes you. You like him. Let that be enough for right now.”

“Okay. Okay. Just...make my titties sparkle? Please?”

“Lord, chile. You don’t pay me enough.” She snorted.

Friendship!

***

Shawn: I’m here. Do you want me to come up?

y/n: No need! Here I come.

Outside your apartment building is one of those SUV hummer situations that you only ever rode in when you were visiting one of your artists on tour. Shawn is standing outside the door of the vehicle, and you can’t help but pause right there in the middle of the sidewalk. He traded the black jeans for a black slack that hones in on the fact that he’s most definitely not wearing a chelsea boot for the first time ever. They’re dress shoes. Like proper, wing tips. And he’s wearing a short sleeve button up with yellow, black, and white stripes. There are enough buttons undone to see the way that his rosary necklace melted into the firmness of his chest nestled amongst the most sinful amount of chest hair. God, where the hell had they made this one at? And how the hell did he wind up at my front door?

“Hi.” He smiled, legs crossed and chest broad. “You look really beautiful.”

You peered down at the jumpsuit you’d picked out with Tiana’s help. It was a really pretty shimmery gold color and the entire back was cut out too. In hindsight, it didn’t seem nearly as impressive as to what he was wearing now.

“Thank you. You look pretty beautiful yourself. Really showed me up tonight.”

He laughed. “Yea, sure. Come on, it’s cold out. Let’s get going.”

In the car, there’s a bottle of champagne and one of the playlists that you recognized from Shawn’s apartment is playing softly in the background. He pours each of you a glass, your legs somehow knotting simply together on the floor of the car. It’s weird in that it’s not like a first date  in the traditional sense. You put his balls in your mouth for one. He licked orgasms out of you like ice cream. But the nerves are still there. You find that you care about what he thinks of you, of how he feels about you. That’s new. And scary.

“So uh...where are we going?” You asked between sips of champagne.

He bites his lip and looks nervously over at you. It’s a new look for him. But one that you find solace in.

“Would you be angry at me if I said it was a surprise?”

You raised an eyebrow. “No. But I would be curious as to what that surprise is.”

“Don’t worry. You’ll know soon enough.”

“I think I heard that line one time. I think Hannibal Lector said it.”

He rolled his eyes and threw his head back and you wished it didn’t make you giggle, but it does.

“Funny.” He smirked hiding behind his glass. “I just wanna impress you a little bit. Is that okay?”

“You wanna impress lil ole me huh?” You smiled. “That’s sweet.”

“Just a little.”

He licked his bottom lip and his hand inched its way up your knee. He was warm. Way too warm to not have your body react a little. Rude.

“Whatever happened to your friend from the other morning? Am I taking you away from him?”

“Oh Brian?” He snickered. “He’s just happy he’s got my place to himself. He couldn’t believe I was going on a date at all.”

“Tiana either.” You snorted.

“Yea? She try and convince you not to go out with me?”

“She is...surprisingly Pro-you for some reason. Must have something to do with me not having enough time to be a bitch as work with our arrangement and everything.”

“Hmmm. Well it’s nice to know I’ve got one person on my team. Maybe by the end of the night I can win you over too.”

“Maybe.” You smiled.

The car eventually rolls to a stop, and you’re not even aware of how long you’ve been talking. All the nerves that you couldn’t actually be together without the sex part sort of faded away. He could make you laugh. He could hold your attention. And you could offer him the same. Just when you were starting to think that it was all going to be fine? Shawn came to open your door.

Your heels touched gently to the ground and you let him pull you from the car. Behind him was not a restaurant. Not a bar. Not even a fucking hotel. Nope. Instead you were stood right in front of Mendes Industries’ private jet and a fucking flight attendant with a bag in her hands that looks surprisngly like your Louis Vitton. Fucking Tiana.

“What the hell. Shawn, what the hell?!” You gasped. “What is this?”

“You were concerned about people seeing us right? Well no one’s gonna see us. No one but the locals.”

“The locals?! I can’t--I can’t just fly away with you Shawn. I have responsibilities. I have a--a job.”

He reached for your hands, which tended to do a lot of movement when you were flustered, and stilled them by placing them on his shoulders.

“Listen to me,” He murmured silencing you. “It’s already set. Tiana canceled all of your meetings for three days. It’s just three days. Look I...I really like you, okay? More so than I know what to do with right now. And I think that you like me too. Do you like me?”

“Y--Yea! Yea, of course I do. That’s not really the point is it?”

“It is. Just get on the plane. Please? I just wanna take you out. Let me take you out.”

You peered up at him, all soft brown eyes and chiseled everything else. He had really come along out of nowhere. It was incredibly disorientating, and intoxicating. You lived your life by a planner, a set time for every hour by the hour. And here he was asking you to throw that all away, to let yourself be something else for a chance. And it wasn’t all that different from what he asked of you in the bedroom. Just let go. Release.

You sighed. “You know when most guys ask to take a girl out? They don’t mean out of the state.”

“I’m not like other guys.” He shrugged.

“No shit. Where are you taking me, white boy?” You groaned letting him steer you towards the plane.

“Try to contain your excitement.” He snorted. “Remember that time we had sex in the back of a storage room during Khalid’s video shoot?”

You smiled awkwardly at the flight attendant and knocked your arm into his shoulder.

“Oh please. We’ve had this jet since I was fifteen. I’m almost positive my dad has done some incredibly sketchy shit on here. Martha knows all. Thank you Martha!”

He leads you to a seat. There’s more champagne. You don’t know how you got here. This man was wild.

“Get to the point, maybe?”

“Right. We hooked up in the storage closet, and you told me that story about how you missed your high school trip to Rome because your mom was having heart problems and couldn’t afford it with the medical bills? You had a Lizzie Mcguire fantasy and everything.”

“I was drunk that night. Khalid had just gotten his first number one.”

“So you don’t want me to take you to Rome?” He asked.

“ROME?!”

“Rome.”

“....Who are you?!”

He chuckled. “I’m just a guy standing here asking a girl to let me take her on a little trip.”

“Oh my god. He quotes romcoms. This is too much.”

“Just relax sweetheart. We’re about to do liftoff.”

Jesus Christ.

***

*Shawn’s point of view*

He’s a little worried that he may have broken her. Maybe it was too much too fast. He should’ve just taken her to fucking dinner like a normal person. The problem was he wasn’t normal. And she sure as hell wasn’t normal either. She was so different from anyone he’d ever been with before. He wanted to spend time with her. And the last thing in the world he wanted was her to think about his dad while she was with him. He could tell that it bothered her more than she was willing to admit, and he just needed them to be on equal footing. What said equal footing like going to a country where neither of them spoke the language. Tiana had given him the green light when she agreed to change y/n’s schedule around and even pack her a bag. It seemed like maybe it might go well.

She calms down after her first glass of champagne, and sits more comfortably into the seat next to him, her legs folded so that her knees poked gently at his thigh. She was closer, close enough for him to smell her perfume and he kind of loved it.

“So are first dates the one’s where we spill all of our dirty laundry, or is that the second one?” She asked.

He chuckled and laid his hand on her thigh. She smiles at him, so he doesn’t pull away.

“Your guess is as good as mine. Do your worst, woman.”

She situates herself a little more gently into the chair, chin propped up on her palm. He gets lost in the glitter on her collarbones and neck.

“Why haven’t you been on a date in a long time?” She asked.

Heavy first question. But he told her to do her worst.

“Well I uh...the last date I went on was with my girlfriend of about two years. And on said date she told me that she had been sleeping with a producer at Atlantic records for six months, and that he was going to share her demo. So, she didn’t need me anymore.” He shrugged around a sip of champagne.

“Two years? Two fucking years before she pulled that shit? That’s fucked.” She said. “I’m sorry.”

“Yea. It was really heavy at the time. Blamed my dad for a lot of it, even if it probably wasn’t his fault this time. But ever since then I just thought it might be easier to stick to the meaningless sex route.”

She nodded. “I fuck that up for you a little bit?”

“You have no idea.” He grinned rubbing his thumb along her chin. “I should’ve known the second I caught you checking me out at that party.”

“Excuse me? For the last time I was not ‘checking you out’. I was simply observing that snooze fest your father put on.”

“I was checking you out.” He admitted honestly. “I asked my dad to introduce us. I just knew I had to have you. And then I spoke to you and I found out you were trouble, and you weren’t going to take any of my shit. I should’ve known then.”

It’s a lot softer than anything he’s ever admitted before, and every time that he remembers that this is more, that they’re trying to become more, it makes his heart stutter in his chest. But she leans her head against his seat and she smiles at him like it means something to her to be open, to be vulnerable. And that alone is enough to get him to lean in.

“So maybe....maybe I was looking in your direction.” She says softly. “I’d heard of you. I’d just never actually seen you in person before. And maybe I was curious.”

“Curious?!” He laughed. “Okay. Curious. We can call it that; I’ll take it. Your turn. Worst date. Spill.”

She groaned softly and slid a little deeper into her seat, head fitting perfectly against his shoulder.

“I accidentally went to dinner with a Trump supporter.”

“Accidently?” He snorted.

“Don’t laugh asshole! It was thoroughly traumatic for me. I just thought that logically a white supremacist would not be interested in asking me, a black woman, on a date. I forgot that logic is not in their wheelhouse. It was awful.”

“Now your texts make a lot more sense.” He chuckled reaching his arm to pat her cheek. “That enough to take you out the game, aye?”

“I don’t know man...the world is fucking scary right now.” She sighed. “Sometimes it feels like there’s no one we can trust, like there’s no one who doesn’t have it out for us. It’s not just political agendas. It’s my safety. It really is that deep. It has to be.”

It’s this moment where she’s offering more of herself than she had in the entire time that he’d known her. Y/n was beautiful and sexy and intelligent, but there was also always this aura of mystery around her. Like she wasn’t quite ready to share herself, didn’t know if she could. And he wanted to find his way on the other side of that. He wanted to know her better than she knew herself. And he wants to cherish any moment where she’s willing to let him try that.

“I understand.” He paused and closed his eyes feeling maybe a little flustered and out of his element. “I mean I don’t. I know that I don’t, that I couldn’t but..I hear what you’re saying. And I believe you. I would like to know more at some point. If you’re willing to share it with me.”

Her eyes flicker over to his and they’re wide and brilliant and he wants to kiss her so bad.

“You do?” She checked.

He nodded and chanced reaching to pull her face a little closer, palm resting against her cheek.

“I do.”

She kisses him and it feels like the sun. It feels like everything.

***

*y/n’s point of view*

Rome  is kind of perfect. It’s not so hot that you’ve got to cover yourself in deodorant, but the sun is still pretty and bold in the sky. The hotel he takes you to has an entire terrace open for your access with those flowy ass curtains you only saw in cheesy 80’s pop music videos. There are couches that might as well be beds there so soft and plush. You touch down in the middle of the night and there’s not much to do but keep talking to each other, keep touching each other. You take your shoes off and sit out on the couches wrapped in blankets with another bottle of champagne. If the redness in his cheeks is anything to go off of, he’s just as tipsy as you, and it means that it’s not weird when you lean into him. No one’s gonna say anything for letting him hold you.

“It’s four am right now.” You giggled hiding your face in his neck. “It’s so beautiful here.”

“Do you like it?”

“Yea. I really do. I always wanted to come here. I can’t believe this is our first date.”

“I wanted it to be special for you. You deserve that.”

“Since when?” You asked so thoroughly confused by everything that he was. “I mean, yes. I definitely deserve this but...when you did you realize that you want it to be more than what we were? I thought you just wanted to fool around?”

“I did.” He whined stubbornly tracing your nose with his thumb. “I really did. But...you are very good at sex.” You laughed and he smiled. “I’m serious! One of the best partners I’ve ever had. And sometimes when our bodies were moving I just got lost in you. Like you were a fucking beautiful ass star capturing me with your light. And then you stopped arguing with me so much and just letting me be like...a friend to you?  And then Miami happened and I just--I wanted to be with you. And I realized that I wanted to be with you as a person, even when we weren’t having sex. I was scared. Until I realized that you liked me too. Then I got my confidence back.”

“Oh lord not your confidence.” You rolled your eyes.

“You have got to stop acting like you are not all up on this okay? I see the way you stare at me, honey. It’s okay. Let yourself give in to Mendes Magic!”

“I am officially not attracted to you anymore.” You snorted going to pull away.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and tackled you down to the couch. Your laughter poured out into the night as his fingers dug into your belly. You laugh until your stomach aches. Until there’s tears in your eyes. Until he kisses you and you feel it in your toes. Until the only thing you can think about, feel, smell, is him. And you melt like that against the couch.

***

Rome is beautiful. It’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever been. The sun rises in the sky and you’re up immediately tugging Shawn out of bed. There’s breakfast at this little place near the hotel that looks out over buildings that were unlike anything you’d ever thing. Everything was historic and rustic and so endlessly different from everything you’d seen before. It was really like something straight out of a movie with cobblestone walkways and buildings that were works of art themselves. It’s wild. It would be wild on any day of the week. That was before you looked over your glass of wine to this guy smiling at you like the beauty of the city around him meant nothing in comparison to looking at you.

You liked him. Shit you liked him a lot. And every time he looked you in the eye and hung on every word you said? It just blew you even further away. And you kept trying to remind yourself how unrealistic it all was. You were thirty afterall. The two of you were in different times in your life. He was still holding on to every word his dad said. You had plans for your life, for your career. It was hard to figure out whether or not he could fit into those plans. And maybe that wasn’t first date type of thinking, but hello! He took your ass to Rome. None of it was normal. So you walked a little faster, tried to hold harder to the moments that you had to share. Cause why not?

“Hey can we slow down for a sec?” He asked as you pulled him towards your third museum of the day.

You frowned. “I wanna see the ruins.”

“We can. I promise. Just let’s sit down for a second, yea?”

You’d been walking all morning, stopping at every nook and cranny that you came across. It was a three day trip anyway. You had no idea when you’d ever be back, if you ever would be back. But there’s something special about the company too. You remind yourself that he’s the reason you’re there. The vacation, though amazing, was really just an opportunity to be with him.

“Yea, of course.”

He tugged you to a little corner of these big huge steps that were filled with people just sitting down, chatting, eating their lunches. The second you’re no longer standing on your feet is a little bit like heaven.

“Okay make you were right.” You sighed wiggling your toes. “I’m tired.”

“Well that’s good. I was starting to think you were a robot.” He chuckled. “I’m glad I packed tennis shoes.”

You peered down at his feet and quickly laced your legs with his where the white tennis shoes stuck out in contrast to his black jeans.

“They look so funny on you. I like them. You’re cute.”

He smiled over at you. “I’m cute, aye?”

“You heard me.”

“Yea, well maybe I wanna hear you say it again.” He murmured taking your cheek into his hand.

“You’re cute.” You whispered before pressing your lips together.

You had yet to get over this new style of kissing. The way he rubbed so softly at your cheek you got goosebumps. The way his tongue could make you feel like time was slowing down. Almost like there was nothing left here. Nothing but the two of you and the way you could make each other feel. It was maybe the best feeling in the world.

“You’re beautiful.” He murmured when the kiss had ended, forehead pressed against yours. “I can’t believe you’re here with me right now.”

“I can’t believe you whisked me away to a different country for our first date.” She hummed. “What are you hiding? Do you have a third nipple or something? A serial killer perhaps?”

“Why are you so insistent on me killing people?” He laughed. “And you’ve seen all of my body at this point. If there was a third nipple don’t you think you would’ve seen it?”

“Well you’ve got me there. But statistically speaking at least fifty percent of all murders probably fit your description, honey. I’m just being realistic. I’ve seen what you can do with rope.”

He rolled his eyes and he found that it made you smile. And so he tended to do it more and more often.  That’s kinda how you knew you were fucked.

“What do you say we go see these ruins of yours, find some pasta, and fuck until we fall asleep?”

“As long as it’s in that order!” You gasped tugging him back to his feet to continue your wild adventure of the day.

***

*Shawn’s point of view*

He’s got a new kink. And it’s definitely her calling him baby when he’s inside her. It is without a doubt the sexiest thing she could do for him. Which makes so little sense. How fucking soft had she turned him in a few short months? This is where he was now, almost blowing his load because a woman called him baby. It’s not just a woman though. It’s her. Holy fuck it’s her, and the sound of her voice is like directly tied to his dick or something. Shit.

The couches on the terrace are perfect for sex in broad daylight. It’s completely secluded to just them, but anyone at the other hotels around would easily be able to hear them if they opened a window. It’s just another thing that seems to get them both hot and bothered. Her body is a dream. And he doesn’t need to tie her up to get lost in her. (Even if he really, really liked tying her up). All he needs is the feel of her body against his and his hands to direct her where he wants her to go, where he needs her to go for both of them to explode.

“Fuck.Honey you’re dripping. You’re dripping all over my dick.” He groaned tugging her thighs more ruggedly against his own.

“Baby I--I wanna cum.” She gasped, voice breathy and chaotic as her hips bucked like a fucking dream. “I wanna cum on it. Please?”

“It’s yours. Cum on it. Make yourself cum.”

He reached  around her waist to grind his fingers deep into her clit. Her ass began to bounce against him, quick and sharp and rugged. He’s barely holding on by a thread. And then she starts to squeeze down on him, her hips working to bring herself to her own climax, and he’s already done for.

“Fuck! I’m cumming.”

His fingers work harder on her clit, dropping down to his knees to drive desperately into her with everything he’s got left inside of him. It thrusts her over the back of the couch and he plasters himself against her back grinding tightly with everything that he’s got..  When she cums it’s just another accomplishment, another moment of making her feel good. It’s all he’s ever really wanted since they met.

“Holy fucking shit.” She gasped collapsing against his chest. “So good.”

“Yea? Still think I can’t dom you and date you at the same time?”

“Shhhh. No one has time for you sir, I can’t feel my legs.”

He nuzzled his way into her neck placing kisses against the skin. His arms were still wrapped around her and her fingers were playing in his hair. It was different than their usual hook ups, for sure. But, he liked it. He liked feeling close to her. He liked touching her and feeling her heart beat beneath his finger tips. Did she know how amazing she was?

“You want me to go get a towel?” He asked softly, pecking at her ear.

She hummed. “Not yet. Don’t leave yet.”

God he was ruined. Just like that.

“Yea okay.”

***

She hops in the shower and he has every intention of following her, of maybe pressing her into the shower door and fucking her until the glass breaks. But then his phone starts ringing and she giggles and runs off leaving his dick to twitch against his thigh. He was stupid on her. Aboslutely idiotic. And whoever was getting in the way of his idiocy was about to get an ear full.

“There better be someone dying!” He huffed eyes still very much on the shower where perhaps the most beautiful woman alive was waiting for him.

“That can be arranged. Can you explain to me why I had to find out from Tiffany that your half whit ass is in Rome right now instead of New York?” His dad roared.

Remember that whole things falling apart narrative? Surprise.

“Shit. Dad look I..I just needed to get away for awhile okay?”

“On the comapny fucking jet nonetheless?!”

“That jet has been open to family members as long as I’ve been alive. Since when is it even a problem?”

“Since you’ve been on that jet more than you’ve been in my office. I am tired of trying to explain this to you Shawn. The rules are very simple. You work for me, you do a good job, you get your inheritance. If you don't, you know what happens Shawn. Is that what you want, to make me have to do that to you?”

“Look Dad I,” He let his voice drop softer, shyer. “It’s not what it looks like. This isn’t just me fucking off okay? I--I like someone. Like really like them. And I just wanted to impress her. She’s different. And I wanted her to like me. This isn’t one of my hookups, I swear.”

He hadn’t liked someone in so long, hadn’t even come close to what he was feeling for y/n. Even though his dad was a dick and they had fought since the time he was eleven, there was still a part of him that yearned for his approval. It was hard not to get caught up in what the world knew his dad to be. It was hard not to feel like if he could just make him proud, just make him happy, then everything would be okay. He hadn’t been that naive in a long time, but it still pulled at him every now and again.

Manny sighed. “Great, son. That doesn’t help the fact that you went behind my back and are continuously neglecting your duties.”

“I--I’m not though. Niall is sitting at sixteen songs as we speak. You only wanted twelve remember? I convinced the producers to look into doing a deluxe edition. That’s gonna make the label happy, Niall happy, and it’s more money for you right? I’m back in LA in a week to work on the roll out for Sarah Leone to the press. I’m kind of working my ass off here. I’m doing everything you wanted.”

“Look whatever just get your ass back to New York, okay?” He muttered.

“I’ll be back in two days.”

“Shawn.”

“Two days. I’ll be back in two days, and I’ll keep living in this hell of a life you’ve set up for me , alright? See you then.”

He tossed his phone back onto the bed in frustration. The noose tightened a little in his absence, sick and tired of always fighting and always losing. It seemed like no matter what happiness he carved out for himself, he was always going to have to return home. Maybe he was kidding himself. Maybe there was no winning in this life.

He stands there for like forty-five seconds feeling sorry for himself, and just fully like a piece of shit. And then he hears her. It’s soft and gentle and sweet. He moves a little closer to the bathroom, the door still open and her naked body visible through the foggy glass door. She’s singing.

“I’m like a bird, I’ll only fly away.” She cooed softly. “I don’t know where my soul is, I don’t know where my home is.”

Her voice was soulful and low, her fingers cupping her breasts and rolling down over her hips as she sang. It really kind of hit him in his heart. He leaned against the edge of the doorway, head lolling back for support at this gorgeous sound coming out of this gorgeous woman. The music lover in him just wanted to sit on the floor and listen to her all day, it was so pretty. Maybe map out some harmonies for the two of them. And the fact that he could see the smile on her lips as she sang only made his heart feel two times too big for his sturnemum. He wasn’t ready for the way that she could make him feel. He thought he’d known that, thought he was preparing himself. Not so much. He wasn’t sure one could prepare themselves for a woman like y/n. Maybe that was his lesson to learn.

She catches sight of him out of the corner of her eye and her lips glue firmly shut. He practically pouts when she stops singing. His arms crossed against his chest tighten in dissatisfaction.

“What are you doing?” She whined leaning her head out of the shower.

He shrugged. “Was just listenin’. You didn’t tell me you sang.”

“You didn’t ask. And I don’t. I was just...humming.”

“Humming?” He laughed softly. “Okay. Well you hum beautifully.”

“Well thank you, I suppose. Was your phone call okay?”

“No. Not quite but, I’m good now. Can I wash your back for you maybe?”

“Yea. Boy, you ain’t gotta ask to wash my back. Come on!”

He steps back into the steam of the shower and it’s like nothing exists but the two of them. And he just really wants to keep it that way for a little while longer. If only for a little while longer.

***

They’re lying on a hotel bed that’s so soft it feels like they’re sinking. After another glorious round of sex he found himself tangled in the sheets beside her. Their heads at the foot of the bed because that’s the position where he’d made her cum last, and their feet intertwined at the headboard. She’s not looking at him, but instead up at the ceiling. This doesn’t seem to stop him from peering over at her. She’s kind of too beautiful to not look at.

“Can I ask you something?” He hedged carefully.

She peered over at him, eyes warm and sated.

“Yes.”

“I don’t...I really don’t know how to ask, or what to ask. And maybe--maybe I’m gonna come across like some dick, but I don’t wanna do that with you. I want to learn ya know? I want to understand.”

“Shawn?” She pressed getting his attention. “Calm down. Just ask.”

He nodded softly and took a deep breath. His fingers twitched anxiously against his stomach.

“That stuff you said earlier on the plane...you know about--about the trump supporter, and how that made you feel? And then sometimes...sometimes it sounds like you don’t really like white people, which like makes sense right? We’re the worst. But I just...I wanna understand more about...about what that means for you? Fuck. I’m sorry. That sounded dumb just saying it.”

He closes his eyes ready for her to slap him and take his jet all the way back to New York. He thinks maybe he’d deserve it. It wasn’t even that he’d never been with a Black woman before. Black Women were beautiful and ethereal and wonderful. But, even his tiny white man brain could understand that the state of the world was simply a little different nowadays. His mediocre understanding of racism and privilege simply wasn’t enough. And he knew that if he wanted to be with this woman, if he wanted to feel like he deserved to be near her and absorb her intellect, than he should probably do his absolute best to understand the world in which she walked. Because it certainly looked different from his own.

He feels her hand on his chest and his eyes flutter open. She curled her fingers around his own and sent him another gentle smile that made his toes curl at the other end of the bed.

“It’s not dumb.” She assured him. “You’re asking. You might not have the language, but you’re asking. And that means a lot to me, okay? A lot.”

He nodded his head dumbly, eagerly hanging on every word that she said. She lied back once again, her head nestling a little closer to his. She doesn’t let go of his fingers.

“So, I do hate white people sometimes.” She mumbled. “Sometimes in the discourse Black folks will often try to explain that it’s not all white people, it’s just some. And most days I can get there. I can recognize that. But like… that’s not really how it works you know? Even white people who wouldn’t lynch my black ass grew up in a culture that would. Even white folks who might not feel the need to say the n-word grow up in a culture that situates their body, their worth, their value over mine. And even if that’s not your fault, and I can recognize that it isn’t you know? That’s how privilege works, it’s subliminal. But even if it’s not your fault, it doesn’t mean that you don’t benefit. And it definitely doesn’t mean that you haven’t absorbed messages about my inferiority.”

He watches her face the entire time, more specifically the emotions that seem to rush through every pore and every muscle. There’s a bit of agony on her features. A bit of frustration. But as she warms up there’s a freedom to it too. He knows that she’s not editing her words. She’s not doing anything for his benefit. He asked and so she would tell him, in whatever way was meaningful for her.

“White people just...sometimes it really seems like y’all don’t give a shit. I’ve had the cops called on me at the very building that I work at. On the top floor, with some of the most powerful people in show bizz twenty-seven times since I started. To the point where Mike in security has to keep an updated description of me every time I change my hair just in case. I have walked onto sets to manage my artists and been told that the back up dancers are in the trailer around back. Every step I take, every goddamn day, there is always at least one white person there to tell me that I don’t deserve it. That I don’t belong. And the intersections of my blackness with my womanhood mean that I am consistently and constantly facing an uphill battle of two indentities that the world just doesn’t give a fuck about.”

He couldn’t look away from her. Never had he ever seen her be so vulnerable for him. Y/n was always just an inch or two behind a wall, always peeking out to give him glimpses but never really showing herself in her entirety. He watched the way that her chest rose and fell more rapidly, watched the way her fingers tightened around his own, and her eyebrows wrinkled on her forehead. It was anxiety. She was anxious and angry and sad. The way that her lips pointed down and her eyes blinked faster than normal told him as such. It kind of broke his heart.

And it’s all so new for him that the only thing he can do is follow his instincts and hope that either he doesn’t fuck it up, or that maybe she’ll forgive him if he does. So, he rested his head firmer against her and held her hands just as tight like maybe it might root her a little better in this room with him, like maybe she might feel safe with him.

“And the people...the people that do these things to you. That do these racist acts all the time they--they look like me don’t they?”

Her eyes that were trained on the ceiling fell down to meet his again. They’re still sad, but a little softer now.

She nodded slowly a bit of a grin forming on her lips.

“I’ma be honest ain’t nobody walking around looking quite like you but...yes they--they kind of look like you.”

He nodded slowly and tilted his head back to peer up at the ceiling now. There’s an anxiety to it for him too. In asking the questions that he didn’t have answers to, to be vulnerable enough in his ignorance. There’s a desire to get it right because she’s important to him, and then a dread when he realizes the time it will take to get there, and the pain that might cause her along the way.

“Shit y/n...why the hell would you even wanna go out with me? Even I hate me right now.” He sighed.

“That’s just the white guilt talking baby,” She snorted before sobering up quickly. “Look it’s complicated right? Like given my problems with white people and white men in particular, I’m firm enough in my blackness and my identity to recognize everything that I just explained to you, while also recognizing that things are never black and white. No pun intended. I can still love your humanity and your individuality as long as you’re willing to do the same for me. I can recognize that not all white people are the same, that you all think alike. I just need the space to have conversations like this. I need someone who cares enough to learn. Anything else isn't worthy of my time. Either you’re down with me always, even when it isn’t convenient, or you’re not. So, which is it?”

Her eyes are wide and clear. It’s that firmness in the set of her jaw that gets him. She’s dead serious. Either he buys into her, and all of her, or he doesn’t deserve any of her. He can see that. He can understand it. It’s not that he wants her bad enough to “deal” with the rest of it. It’s that he wants her bad enough to understand all of her. He wants to know. Needs to.

“I’m down.” He assured her reaching for her cheek in his palm. “For all of it.”

“You’re sure?” She mumbled with desperate eyes. “Cause if you’re not we can go back New York and just be fuck buddies again. You can still find you some white girl without hundreds of years of internalized genocide and systemic oppression on her shoulders.”

He shook his head and kissed her until the tension melted from her body. Because he needed it to. He needed her belief in him, her trust.

“I’m so damn sure it’s insane. Just want you.” He whispered.

She reached for his lips pulling him back to kiss her again.

“Promise.” She demanded as if it was even an option.

“I promise.”

***

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[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

WhatsApp? Part 8. (Steve Rogers x reader)

Description: You’ve never been lucky with guys. You just wanted to catch someone’s eye, to be loved. One day, that’s about to turn completely - with one fake, completely imagined number a guy gave you

A/N:  @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory thank you for reblogging! I notice every note and reblog you left me, babez! But I have a seriously hard time responding even to my own gf at the time, bcs I'm in the more depressed mood. Sorry.

Word count: 2 K 

Tagging: @missdictatorme, @songforhema, @mikariell95

Read the rest here: Part One  Part Two  Part three  Part four  Part five  Part Six  Part seven

If you like to have your readings in order :):  H E R E  

The big evening finally came. Every one of you was in the backstage, listening to some stand-up comedian. He truly was hilarious.

It was simple - there was a hall full of people who had bought the tickets in pre-order. All of that money went to a charity. Then they could give more money if they wanted to the lady by the ticket station. After every show, the hall cleared out and people with tickets on the next show sat at the tables, ordered some drinks and waited for it to start. Some shows had twenty minutes, but there were other people, who had five minutes lasting shows as you were.

There were even people from the Marina present, those who were voted to take the check from Tony Stark himself as well. And they looked like they had a hella good time.

"I will sit next to you, would you mind?" - Deena said, already sitting down. You scooped a bit further to make some place for her ass. Then the both of you turned your heads to look at the guy performing. You both laughed. There was some singers, some bands, some other Charity workers - there was basically everyone. You even got a bit too excited when you saw Pepper freaking Potts sitting at the table in the back of the hall next to Happy Hogan.

Through the whole evening, you texted with Steve. You told him every of your itsy bitsy feelings and he was so kind that he has listened to you all the time. Meanwhile, girls have done your make-up and your hair, so you looked like a real lady coming straight from the forties.

May's hair was the hardest do make - she had a long, strong hair and she has a hell lot of them, which made it almost impossible to do. Yet she was now standing behind you on her high heels, looking definitely breathtaking.

Y/N: Never realizes that there will be so many people out here! I'm getting pretty nervous, handsome.

Steve: Do not freak out. It is going to be completely fine. We are here out with Bucky and Sam, pouring down some drinks. We are looking forward to your performance, girls. We truly do.

Y/N: Yeah, looking forward to seeing me killing somebody else?

Steve: Stop it. You will be great. And you will not convince me otherwise. And I will be there to see all of it.

That made you smile. Steve was the mental and emotional support to you every step you made and every breath you took, just like in that The Police song. When you felt insecure about you looking fat, Steve reminded you of how blown away he was just with the way you looked in that costume. When you thought that your make-up and your hair is too much, Steve texted back that you'll be beautiful to him no matter how much you'll put on.

He truly was trying to make every one of your little insecurities go away and he was doing a great job.

"He's somewhere out here tonight?" - Deena asked all of a sudden. She and Val took some really sultry sapphic photos before that and you were sure that they'll be used when you'll recap your whole year on the office Christmas party. They both looked sexy as hell, Deena even went so far she had shortened her skirt and wear her super push-up bra to make her cleavage more visible.

"Not at the moment, but he'll be. Yeah." - You nodded with a shy smile of a nervous girl. It was so strange, knowing that Steve will be there, checking out each of your moves with his bros.

You never showed him your face, but daily life pics became a next step between for the two of you. When you were at work, you took a simple headless selfie in the bathroom mirror, at lunch you photographed your food and you also sent him a photo of you in your PJ, doing a routine movie watching with some popcorn and Coke.

Steve, on the other hand, was a serious piece of cake. You drooled and you didn't even realize that your mouth was wet all over from your own saliva.

To say that Steve was buffed as fuck was a serious understatement. He was ripped like a Greek god. Maybe even they were nothing on his body. His usual daily selfie was a mirror one with him having a white, usually sweaty t-shirt and grey work out sweats. There was usually a bottle of water included. Sometimes he snapped a quick picture of him getting ready. Once you even felt your heart-stopping because of the sight of his collar bones and shoulders in a work out tank top.

At that moment, you were ready to call yourself some good ol' ambulance, because your eyes were drowning at that sight. He was a guy with a naturally sweet nature, so huge and ripped and yet somehow he hadn't found a girlfriend to be with. You couldn't comprehend.

Before meeting him on WhatsApp, you didn't believe in fucking miracles - but here he was and he seemed to be into you. You were hella out of your mind.

Yep. You had gotten off because of those pictures. Once or twice. But that was not your fault at all. You were a woman, someone who had their specific needs. That's just how it was. And Steve seriously was someone who even Val found seriously attractive.

Girls from the office were obsessed all over you two - sometimes, Deena and Suzie sang that you're in love and you answered that you're not. Which obviously became a really dramatic I won't say I'm in love from Hercules. But yeah. Just to be honest, you were all over the fucking place bevause of him. Which happened never ever before. And you haven't even met that man at the time. It was really fucking weird. It felt like his face isn't important to you - you knew him. That's what mattered.

"Do you think you'll be able to see him? Like a sixth sense? It would be as exciting as the end of the Titanic." - Deena sighed dreamily. You frowned at that.

"If you think that the death of basically 60% of the passengers was exciting... You do you I guess." - You answered with a strange expression on your face. 

“Hey. You have that sexy hunk just waiting for every word you want to write to him and not each of us has the opportunity to have that. Some of us just develop a simple crush on Leo DiCaprio. Did you even see that little angelic baby in that movie? Jeez.” - Deena giggled. When she started, she was deadly serious, but in the end, she was laughing. 

But she was totally clear about her crush on Leo. She even had a collection of t-shirts with Leos face on it. But she was all truthful - not everyone finds someone like you found Steve. All it took was a couple of coincidences and there you were.

“But it's nice. Men like that remind you that gentlemen are not a dead thing yet, even now.” - She leaned her shoulder into yours, smiling all happily. - “But I am a bit jealous about all of that, not gonna lie.” 

Your head slowly bobbed and you leaned your forehead into khaki green cap masterly pinned into her hair with some pinnets. She was looking all good. 

And she was right per se. Steve was truly something the others could be only possibly jealous of. And you should be really, really glad for him

And your gratefulness was the thing that made you all nervous about him being present while you do a total asshat in front of anybody else. 

The time flew past you without you barely noticing. There were two other performers in the line in front of your office, and at the next moment, May was gripping your elbow and lead you to the moral hooray before you actually went to the stage. She was probably the best motivational speaker you ever heard, those men and women with courses were nothing on May Parker.

“Okay ladies, I am sincerely proud of you for not being afraid and actually doing all of this. I can't even express how happy I am that I found so many amazing women to do something like that with me. You're all looking flawless, pretty and lovely and I know we will nail the choreography because we worked hard almost every evening for the past few months, we will nail it. And now stand up and let's kick the others their asses!” - May yelled cheerfully. Every one of you clapped, those who had the need to express themselves louder, those cheerfully blew a whistle for May. 

You feel a little confident - nothing too much harsh, nothing too big, but at least you felt positive about yourself when you took your chair and walked onto the stage.

---

“Can you feel the tension in the air? Something's coming.” - Sam nudged Bucky's side with his elbow. Bucky just gave him an ice-cold look and took his another beer from Sam's palm. 

Steve made Sam take the tickets from the lady sitting behind the counter with all highschool girl nervousness - he was able to almost kill Sam when he joked about leaving the tickets on the counter. He was super nervous, super curious, almost not able to keep the feelings contained inside. 

Their small group walked into one of the back tables with a clear view - you tried to take the best places which will be basically on the distance of a stretched arm. It was also close to the bar, which was some great news for Sam. 

“Just jokin', Mr. Grumpy. I'm kinda curious about that girl. You plan on showing us or you will keep a secret?” - Sam sat on the other side of Bucky, taking a strong swing of his beer. 

“Probably a secret. It would not be fair for you to know her face before she knows mine.” - Steve giggled and crawled deeper into his hood. He was worse than Natasha when she was on her missions, just tried to keep his identity in secret, but that was extremely hard because of how enormous he was. 

“Like if birdbrain knew what intimacy or privacy is.” - Bucky said with an ironic tone of voice which made Sam frown as hell again. 

“Well excuse me, but I know today's world more than you two will ever have the chance to. Don't try to make me angry, 'cause you can lose your biggest guide just like dat.” - Sam said with all serious face, but every one of them knew that he's shitting them. 

Y/N: Okay, it's here. Wish me luck, cross your fingers, do whatever the hell you want, but enjoy it.

A text came just short second before all the lights turned down and Steve curiously wiggled on his chair with an expression of a small child. And at that moment, a serious load of ladies in forties female formal clothes came out of the curtains with chairs in their hands. And even tho he couldn't see the shirt you had under your uniform, at that moment, he exactly knew which one of them is you.

[licenselesswriter]

From November to June CH3

January 26, 2018

- Hey - Farkle says sitting in front of Maya while she was half of her baby carrots snack.

- Hey - she replies with a simple nod before going back to her snack.

- Is she still ignoring you? - Farkle asks opening a bag of chips.

- Yep - Maya replies, taking one of Farkle's chips when he offers some.

- Have you spoken to her? - Farkle asks before taking a chip, and then another.

- Why? It's not like I'm the one who needs to apologize - Maya says, knowing exactly what Farkle is pursuing with that selected conversation.

- She felt betrayed - Farkle defends Riley.

- Cry me a river - Maya replies and gets up - when you actually want to came to talk to me as a friend, send me a text - she adds and left Farkle alone.

Knowing that he screws things again.

 Maya walks outside, she needed desperately some fresh air. She sits on the bleachers in front of the brand-new baseball cages.

- Never felt you as someone who wants to try baseball - she heard to her back, and her smile grows a bit.

- Honestly, I'm here for the cute left field - she replies.

- Awww, you have a crush on me - Zay says sitting next to her - So, want to share the story or just want a silent friend? - he asks.

- A bit of both - Maya says and focuses on the grey sky of January - Farkle is totally on her side - she comments.

Zay looks up at the sky - Are you surprised? - he asks back.

- Not really - Maya answers.

They both share a laugh.

- How much for the 20 weeks? - Zay asks.

- Like 5 weeks, why? - Maya asks back.

- Well, usually at that time you get to know the gender - he explained, then look at her - What do you think it's gonna be, baby boy or baby girl? - he asks back.

- What’s with you and Huckleberry and all the questions you make? - she asks trying to avoid thinking about the sex of her future son or daughter.

- I think it's gonna be a boy - Zay says, completely ignoring Maya's question - Lucas think it's gonna be a girl, but that's not a surprise - he adds and Maya looks at him curiously.

- Maybe for you - Maya says still looking at the baseball cages - Why "Dusk till Dawn" like baby girls? - she asks and Zay looked at her surprised.

- I'm changing his contact info right now - Zay says with his usual wide smile - Looks like his family can't have anything but men, all his cousins? Men. Their kids? Men. His family? All brothers, no sisters - he explains while Maya looks surprised by the family of her friend - That's why he loves going to my house when my sisters came to visit - he adds and Maya looks at him expectantly - Only 3 boys in the family, including me - Zay says and winks at her.

- Now all the Papa Friar makes more sense - Maya says.

Zay chokes with his own saliva - I'm sorry? Papa Friar? - he asks in complete shock.

- Please don't make weird assumptions - Maya replies tiredly. Zay was not the first to suggest that - It's just a nickname, and please, keep that nickname between us - she says and Zay looks at the cages with a smile.

- Don't worry, my lips are sealed, Maya Papaya - he replies and locks an imaginary zipper over his lips.

Suddenly the snow starts to fall, and they both were forced to rush inside.

When they get inside, Riley was there, and Farkle was failing at stopping her.

- So, you can't fight your own fights now? - she asks Maya, showing a new emotion for her.

Anger.

- Well, I've always considered myself a brawler, so I pretty much have no idea what are you... - Maya says looking at her best friend.

- Next time, don't try to ruin things between me and Lucas - Riley says interrupting her.

Maya looked at Riley confused, and then her mind connects the dots - Oh, so this is about Huckleberry - Maya says and gives Riley a condescending smile, which infuriates her more.

- Don't feel superior just because we have great friends, behind that condescending look it's only a slut who got herself pregnant - Riley explodes and fastly covers her mouth.

The hall went completely silent, Farkle looked everything from the distance covering his eyes, Zay was pissed off, but in silence, and Maya, she just looks at Riley like nothing can affect her.

- Did you finish? - she asks Riley.

The brunette refuses to look back at her.

- I might be a slut, but trust me, that's none of your business Pinkie Pie - Maya says dead serious - It's my problem who I allow in my bed, not yours - she adds and walk past the brunette directly to Farkle - How lucky I am that you Love us equally, right? - she says to him in her most sarcastic tone.

When Maya left, Zay look at them both - You - he says raising his voice, startling Riley - Grow the fuck up - he says and then looks at Farkle - And you - he adds walking to the genius - Grow a pair of balls, you could have stopped her before she opened her mouth - he says in a whisper, before running after Maya.

Maya didn't have the mood to deal with the sociopathy her friend had. Thankfully for her, since she confesses her pregnancy, Shawn raised the money he usually gives her.

She runs a few blocks, with a belly barely noticeable under her winter clothes and stops in a music store. She refugees from the snow under the covered sidewalk and gets herself an Uber.

 A few hours later, Maya heard a knock on her door. She takes a peek through the magic eye on her door and saw Lucas. She grabs her phone and fastly texts him. She was able to hear the "ding" of his phone, and spying through the magic eye she saw his reaction.

- Ok, first of all, I'm not that, second, my mother is not that, and third, I'm not gonna put that there, that's fucking gross and probably deadly if you consider the size of my hands - he defends himself.

- Congrats Huckleberry, you know how to read - she sarcastically says - Now go, I'm not in the mood to deal with your bullshit - she claims and walked back to her room.

Outside her apartment, Lucas let a deep sigh in exhaustion. He grabs his phone and calls Maya - Can you please open the door? - he asks her and she just hangs up.

Refusing to resign, he dials her again - Fine, you don't want to see me, I can deal with that, can you at least hear me out? - he asks, hoping for the best.

- No - Maya replies and hang up on him again.

- Fine - Lucas says outside her apartment and fastly starts to text her.

"I know you probably hate me right now, I'm sorry I meddle between you and Riley and that stupid fight that was totally Riley's fault, I tried the best but I failed, sorry, shit happens, I left homemade brownies at your doorstep, please come to pick them up, and yes, I'm gonna leave, I shit on too many things today to keep shiting on more, and again, I'm sorry".

Maya finishes reading his text and then saw the pic attached, showing where he left the paper bag with brownies. She walks to her door and peeks again through the magic eye, surprised for a second for not seeing anyone. She opens the door and realizes that Lucas really left. She picks the paper bag and delicately opened, smelling the baked goods inside - My God Mrs. Friar, I need to learn to bake like you - she says, recognizing who made her next meal.

She closes her door and gets back into her room. she puts the brownies bag on her desk and then sits on her stool. Instinctively her hands move to the painting palette Lucas gave her last Christmas. Then pour some of the oil paintings on the palette and softly let her mind wanderer on the white canvas. Blue and black softly starts to cover it, very dark, imitating her mood, and then, another brush. Little white marks over the blue and black canvas. she changes the brush again and makes some remarks in the black paint with some dark green. She cleans the brush with white paint and gets another brownie. She walks away from the canvas; she grabs her phone and sends a text. In seconds her phone buzzes, she smiles and grabs the "History of Bauhaus" book that Shawn gave her last Christmas and lay on her bed. With pretty much zero attention she starts to pass through the pages. She didn't notice how much time has passed when she heard a knock on her door, she gets up her bed and walks to the door, she opens the door and Zay was there.

- I honestly hope that you call me here only because you like my company and not because you wanted vanilla ice cream for those brownies - he says with his usual smile and bag with a pint of vanilla ice cream.

- I'm sorry I'm breaking your heart, but I'm just using you to get ice cream - she answers and let him in.

Zay gets into the apartment faking a heart attack - Ah, my poor heart - he jokes and takes off his coat and put it on the coat hanger.

- I still have brownies - Maya says.

- Awww you Love me - Zay replies with his both hands over his heart.

- Of course, I Love you, smartass - Maya replies making Zay looks moved by her words - Do you think I would let anyone get in my apartment? Oh fuck - she says when Zay smile.

- You're lucky I'm your friend because that would be a sick burn - he says.

- Yeah, yeah, I walk right into that - she says going to the kitchen for 2 little bowls.

They both walk to her room and Zay just sits in the floor while Maya lays on her bed - So, ice cream and brownies - Zay says taking a brownie from the bag Maya had, now, on her bed.

- We are not gonna talk about what happened today - she says and grabs her phone - Siri, play "In the lonely hour" - she says to her phone and a few seconds later the album starts to blast on her phone.

- Wow, Sam Smith's first album - Zay says looking at his blonde friend - That must be a hell of a hit - he adds.

- Well, I still love her like she was my sister - Maya replies putting a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth.

Zay just put the bowl on the floor and get on his knees, looking at her - Cuddle? - he asks.

- Cuddle - she replies and he lay on her bed while she softly snuggles with him.

Zay put his arms around her shoulders and strokes her hair. They talk about the future, she tells him that she's not planning on getting into college, and with his experience, Zay understands why.

After an hour, Zay gets up from her bed, and after a fast trip to the bathroom he returns, stopping in front of the half-painted canvas - I can't believe he actually gets you the palette - he says and gets closer to the canvas - I've seen this place - he adds, making Maya curious.

- Really? - she asks and gets up to take a look again to her painting.

They look at the canvas in detail and Zay finally notices something that makes him choke.

- Easy there Hunkalicious - Maya says and slowly caresses his back.

Zay just looks at Maya and then back at the painting. The clear dark sky, the bright stars, and most importantly, the tress. Zay notices the curiosity on his friend’s face, "She did it without thinking" he thought to himself - Nah, it looks like a place where I used to go, but not completely the same, my bad - he lies, and Maya just looks at her stoic.

Thankfully, they both were interrupted by Katy - Hey baby girl, Zay - she says to them. Maya hugs her mother and Zay just lift his hand in a way to greet her - I'm gonna order Chinese, Zay are you gonna join us tonight? - she asks.

Zay just looks at Maya, and she smiles at him - It would be my pleasure, Mrs. Hunter - he replies.