#great episode. uh. i am going to kill myself

[maxphilippa]

Fucked up shit Taco has done on this episode:

- Force the contestants into talking about issues they still weren't ready to talk about.

- Immediately replaced Mic with Mepad, because, well. She said it herself. Having someone helps her think. Mepad was the closest and easiest to manipulate on doing that. After all... Mepad just left Mephone4's side. Of course Taco would use that against him.

- Sing about "how much she regrets everything" while still purposefully, AND CONSCIOUSLY, wanting to make things worse for everyone.

- Made fun of Suitcase's situation and messed with her, despite the fact that Suitcase genuinely thought that Taco was an hallucination.

- She PRACTICALLY FORCED SUITCASE TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING SHE STILL WASN'T READY TO TALK ABOUT. INFRONT OF EVERYONE. PUSHING SOMEONE TO TALK ABOUT HER HALLUCINATIONS IS KIND OF MESSED UP.

- Keep feeling bad about herself but never did anything to actually TRY to be better.

- Used Mic's self elimination as a reason to why everyone should leave, despite the fact that she WAS the reason as to why Mic left on the first place.

- Kept pushing Knife to talk about Mic and to expose her.

- Died from the stress because despite the fact that she willingly did all of that, she couldn't face Pickle. Not yet.

- Made it all about herself and completely disregarded how everyone felt under the excuse of "this is the best for all of you".

- Made Baseball and Suitcase end up in TERRIBLE terms when they were just reworking their relationship.

- Essentially manipulated Mepad because of not showing him the full story aside from her regrets.

- "No more hiding" despite the fact that she veryyy well knows Pickle doesn't answer her letters for a reason, and that Mic left from how much pain she caused her.

- there's a lot more but i need to get onto that.

[banamine-bananime]

one thing that always perplexes me is how often i see takes on tucker where the work positions him as a great dad*, fluent in sangheili language and culture, and most of all, a great diplomat.

i'm not here to yuck anyone's yum and i, too, am absolutely transfixed and enraptured by this man's oscillation between "my one purpose in life is to constantly test the human limits of Annoyingness" and "sudden, shocking extreme competence with no warning" like a little Newton's cradle. like, i just spent 7000 words indulging myself in thinking about a version of tucker that listens a lot more to the "do whatever you gotta to protect the people you love and do what you think is right regardless of what people think" cartoon angel on his shoulder and less to the "that sounds hard i just wanna mouth off, jerk off, fuck off, and negg church" devil. i cannot throw stones and clearly i think that's a fun and valid interpretation of how his character could evolve. but evolve is the keyword there and it baffles me when this gets treated as the fact of how he immediately snapped into being as soon as he had junior, you know?

like. obviously tucker ended up doing some massively impressive shit as an ambassador in sandtrap. but that's because he wasn't being an ambassador, he was being The Final Girl in il/ct's slasher flick. getting trapped in a beseiged temple is, traghilariously, the best thing that could have happened for him in terms of being good at that job. if tucker were a pathfinder character he would have 18s in "dealing with your life suddenly being taken over by ancient alien religion bullshit", "surviving crazy shit through sheer spite and the adrenaline rush of pissing off whatever asshole has made it their life's mission to kill you this time", and "being the only person who knows what fucked up shit is going on while the rest of the bgc ignore you". he would have a 2 in "saying things that make people want to kill you LESS". de-escalation is not in this man's skillset. he cannot even handle being normal about human women. appreciating the intricacies of sangheili culture and politics, human culture and politics, and sangheili-human relations?

Tucker: People learn English all the time, it aren't that hard.

Church: Maybe you should try learning his language.

Tucker: Fuck that, we got here first, and that makes this a colony. Those're the rules, dude. Earth colony, Earth language.

Church: Tucker there's thousands of languages spoken on Earth.

Tucker: Hyeah, but only one that kicks ass. And that's the one we're teaching. English 101, remedial kick-ass.

i know this is pre-junior and doubtlessly, he is more interested in this stuff after junior (because junior's life does depend on sangheili politics and human-alien relations) and MUST be less dense about it after HAVING to do it as a job. like by osmosis at the very least something must have permeated his brain. but the gap between this^ and "knowledgeable enough to be an asset in this career, one people need at least one relevant degree for" is, uh, bigger than a few months between leaving blood gulch and being sent out to the field

sometimes i think about what a fucking trip it would be to be on the UNSC diplomatic team with tucker LMAO can you imagine how unpopular he must have been. a bunch of polisci and IR nerds like fists clenched shaking like leaves trying to restrain the urge to give this guy a swirlie because he cannot stop sounding like a fucking family guy episode while you're trying to, like, convince the warrior queen of some isolated Sangheili heretical sect to ally with the Swords of Sangheilios and the species they've been dead set on annihlating for decades. and also you know he's only an ambassador as like the weirdest most fucked up variation of a nepo baby. nepo forced interspecies religious incubator. the token chestburster virgin mary hire. the simultaneous Hatred for this guy making your job hell, the impotent rage of knowing that it is, actually, important that he be there for Symbolic reasons, and feeling sympathetic to him. you know part of why he's Like This is literally just because he's 20 and should be at the club but has had the year from hell and didn't ask for this. it's easy to forget that because he doesn't complain about any of the actually bad things that happened and just rolls with whatever crazy shit comes his way. complaining is reserved for being an annoying little bitch about petty shit.

ANYWAYS i'm not saying stop having fun with very competent versions of tucker. we're all just here to have fun. i just like what a weird combo of competent and disaster he is, as i interpret him, and i, personally, am incapable of interpreting him as being actually very good at his job as ambassador

*the only two options are not "bad dad" and "great dad". having an alien parasite non-consensually implanted in you by a manipulative fraudster to force his own involvement in a prophecy - oh and also their species is trying to exterminate yours - and going, "well, this baby didn't choose this, they're just a baby, and you know what? my baby. i love this baby unreservedly and unconditionally, fuck you." shows a capacity for love and forgiveness that's frankly fucking insane, both in the good-impressive way and the what-is-going-on-in-your-brain-and-how-did-this-kind-of-decision-making-not-get-you-killed-yet way. and tucker very clearly loves junior a lot and does his best - which, i want to reiterate, is absolutely wild considering the circumstances - but he wasn't ready for a kid, is bad at accepting responsibility especially for others, and the way that Things Never Stop Happening in his life mean he is really not very present. and it's not JUST because of things happening outside of his control - there were periods after season 8 and after season 13 he probably could have permanently reunited with junior and didn't.

[umbrellasareforever]

Empire of Death

Alright I'm so fresh off watching it and normally I want to give myself time to think before I say anything but also to think I need to get it out somehow so ya'll are getting my thoughts as I process them and then maybe I'll make a more intelligent post later.

Let's start with things I enjoyed!

Mel was fantastic, as always. Bonnie Langford is a treat and honestly, watching her this episode made me almost wish she could be the series companion again.

The Memory TARDIS! A genuinely unexpected surprise and while it made not have made 100% sense, it was a fun reference and a unique way to get around the fact that the TARDIS wasn't available to them.

I enjoyed the scene with the Doctor and the woman in that ramshackle hut. It was a sweet, somewhat slow moment that let you feel the universe a bit. Honestly, I wish the episode had started with that, it would've been a great hook.

As much as I adore my Paradox Baby™️ theory, I do think that having Ruby discover that her mother is, in fact, just a person was quite sweet. It was nice to see a RTD companion actually have a happy ending for once (although we know she's coming back, but hey, it's still a sweet moment).

Okay uhhhhh let's get into my problems...

If Ruby's mother was really just a person why the hell did it snow every time her mom was mentioned? I get the whole "the more significance you give something, the more important it becomes", and I know that the universe is now more supernatural than it was before, but was that the supernatural bleeding in? And while we're on Ruby's mother, why did she point so dramatically to the sign? No one was looking, no one would've known that's what she named her daughter. Is it just a total coincidence that she ended up with that name? Am I crazy?

The moment Rose died so unceremoniously I knew that it was going to end up being one of those "no consequences" episodes and I felt incredibly deflated. I get that Russell needs to make the stakes feel high but I really don't think this is the way. You can't have every season end with a universe shattering event and then just as quickly put everything back to the way it was and expect me to still feel like there's a threat.

Piggybacking off that, whyyyyyyyyyyy the HELL did Mrs. Flood have to say the whole "end in abject terror" thing? I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of every season ending with or being advertised with "OHHHHHH this next one is gonna be the biggest threat the Doctor has ever faced! Nothing will ever be the same!!" STOP!!! STOP IT!!!!!! YOU ARE KILLING ME JUST STOP IT ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Speaking of Mrs. Flood, as curious as I am about her and whatever the hell she is (Iris, Romana, Susan, the Trickster, something else entirely), I also think that the lack of any answers about her and the constant cutting back to her really pulled me away from the story as a whole. Whether it was because I'm more interested in her or because seeing her so much made me think her story was going to be more important in the episode, it just took away from the already limited time we had.

Which kind of brings me to my biggest problem; time. All season every episode has felt like we were rushing through, as if we didn't have nearly enough time to actually tell a story, and it sucks. It leaves stories feeling like first drafts and unsatisfying and meh. I know pacing is hard, but there's gotta be a way to make this stuff work.

On another note, the whistle was... uh... yeah. I'll accept the Doctor having Intelligent Gloves™️ and Intelligent Rope™️ and Psychic Earrings™️, but when a whistle falls out of a cupboard and he puts it on with 0 explanation and then uses what we can only assume is a normal whistle to control the TARDIS to *checks notes* shoot a cannon out of the console and fly it over to him and Ruby... Yeah I just... that's a bit much for me.

Also Sutekh's been on the TARDIS for how long??? Since Pyramids of Mars??? What happened to him in Flatline? What happened to him when the Master turned it into a Paradox Machine? Or when it was blowing up constantly in Series 5? Or when House took it over in The Doctor's Wife? He was just straight chilling?? Honestly this is less of a genuine complaint and more of a "Wow, Doctor Who is wild!"

Now this is VERY much a nitpick and I need to get over it, I know, but God I need 15 to wear more Doctor-esque clothes. Seeing him walk around this whole time in blue jeans and a t-shirt or combat cargo pants and a t-shirt just felt so off. Seriously, when he had that leather trench coat outfit back on at the very end I felt a moment of relief.

And while I'm nitpicking, I know they didn't even really play a part in the episode but I want to, once again, voice my frustration with how much UNIT is a part of RTD2 so far and how it feels like there's not even a hint of military critique about it.

Yeah okay, those are my thoughts for now. If you really read all this, I appreciate and applaud you, and I very much hope you enjoyed the episode. I wish I did.

Here's to the Christmas special, I suppose!

[madameminor]

A Hunter Perspective - another unintentional essay

I guess ima put this out there, just for myself.

I'm fully on Hunter's side.

Don't get me wrong, I am madly in love with Crosshair, madly, passionately. I'll pick smut with him over Hunter any day. I see his faults and love him for them even as they drive him further into misery and darkness.

I also will fight fiercely that Hunter has done/is doing all he can to protect his family. And truthfully, I don't think he's made any mistakes.

"But he left crosshair behind in episode 1!" Crosshair was trying to kill him and his squad, and he had no idea why. He thought his brother had betrayed him. I also would have gotten the hell out of there, in massive pain at the betrayal, wondering what the hell was happening. I have also been someone with access to money and supplies - who has then suddenly not had any money or supplies and had to take care of my household (and thats just with my cat. Three brothers and a kid? Nuh uh). Then I find out he's being mind controlled - how the fuck am i supposed to fix that? And again, with no resources or money? Now guilt is eating me alive, but I can't do anything about it, I have no idea what to do. THEN I find out there is a way - and Wrecker might be going the way of Crosshair? Fuckin yes I'm going to go get that shit out of all of them and myself. Oh, and then the mind controlled one comes and tries to kill us again, and the ONE. THING. that I know that can save his ass and keep him from killing us is destroyed in the process. Like, I no longer have access to it. Great. So NOW what do I do?

"They pointed their guns at Crosshair when he was going to save Omega!" Uuuuh, yeah. He just admitted that his chip had been REMOVED. They didn't know when and if he'd TRIED TO KILL THEM after it was removed. He also shows open hostility to Omega. I'd be jumpy, too. Even Tech, the SMART ONE, who just explained his perspective, had his gun out. So it wasn't that far fetched. Is that their fault, OR HIS? Natural consequences, bro.

"They abandoned Crosshair on that platform in Kamino!" Dude, they gave him chance after chance, saying "come with us." Sure, maybe they didn't trust him fully, but after that whole episode, they trusted him enough to let him back on their ship. And he. said. no. In a way, he said "fuck you, no". And since he's still showing loyalty to the empire, how do they know that if they knock him out and drag him along, he isn't going to somehow contact the Empire and get them all captured or something?

"He didn't immediately go get Crosshair!/ He didn't listen to Crosshair and stay in hiding!" Aye caramba, this guy just can't win. First premise, again, traps laid, betrayal happened, how does he know this isn't a trick? And he's still hurting, with fewer resources, and he just found a HOME for them all. If they fall into a trap, they're also putting Pabu at risk. Second premise, his squad made the choice - and he knows who his squad is. If he put his foot down and said "no, we're not doing this, he's warning us to stay away", THEY WOULD HAVE GONE ANYWAY. He knows his team, his family - they don't follow orders. They would have snuck off without him, and he wouldn't have been able to help.

"He's being mean to Crosshair when Crosshair is hurting!" - Yeah, Ima allow this man to be petty and angry for a second. His brother who betrayed him, turned his back on him twice, blamed it ALL ON HIM instead of taking responsibility for his own actions (which he finally does at the end of this episode), tells him ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about what happened, and just shows up expecting trust again? Actively, fuck you (said to Crosshair in this situation). Even Omega is like "YOU HAVE TO TALK TO THEM." Hunter has never been allowed to be openly hurt and angry. Not once this whole show. And now the one he can be vulnerable with is back, he's feeling his emotions - he's PISSED and HURT and ANGRY. He's tired of being the good one, and all of this guilt and other stuff laid at his feet. And what does he ask? "What did you do to betray someone ELSE? You're not even going to TRY and explain why you're here now? Just going to silently simmer and expect us to be all hunky dory?"

Maybe this is just cause I'm an older sibling, and sober in a 12 step (a community that actively acknowledges hurt, but taking responsibility for the lives you've hurt), and taking care of recovering teens who also whine about how the world is so unfair and never want to take responsibility that their actions are their own. (They all have pain, but thats an explanation, not an excuse. You don't get to call someone by their dead name and gender or spread rumors that another client is a pedophile and then act the victim. No.). But I'm team Hunter. I understand him, and he doesn't deserve half of the hate he gets.

I also understand where Crosshair is coming from. I know his hurt and his fear and his rage and everything. I've been him, too, in my active addiction. But guess what, buckaroo? The only difference between you and a droid is you are in charge of your actions, and you have to live with the consequences. I had to do it. Rex and Cody had to do it. Hunter has been doing it (warranted or not). Now, its your turn.

And this last episode - he started to.

[fandomtherapy44]

Castiel x reader Chapter 18: The End

Summary: SEASON 5 WHOOOO!!!!!!!! LET's GO! So I am so excited for this season so many great episodes. There are going to be a lot more Cas and Y/n scenes. And more chapters too. I do recommend that you read my first book so you get the full Y/n Winchester build-up. Okay with out further due enjoy the second book of Love War and Grace.

Paring: Castiel X Reader

WC:7.242k

Warnings: Some language, Typical Supernatural violence, Spoilers for season five of Supernatural, Emotional hurt for Y/n, Guns, Talk about Alcohol

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Firefly Graphics

About a week passed, and Dean was blowing up my phone with voicemails and texts with apologies. I listened to and read them all, but I couldn't talk to him, not yet. I left Ellen and Jo to have space to think about what Dean had said and they understood. Ellen and Jo still checked in with me by giving me a call. 

“Hey sweetie, how are you doing?” Ellen asked. I sat down on my bed with a beer in hand, thinking about what to say.

“To be honest, Ellen, I don’t know…I mean my whole life, he’s been mine… I just can’t believe he said that about Sam and our family.” She took in my words and tried to find the best to return back with. 

“I know, I think Dean doesn’t understand all that he said either.” I sigh and lay back on my bed with a big flop. 

“Yeah doesn’t mean it doesnt hurt.” I sniff and let a tear fall. 

“Y/n…I'm sorry, I want you to know if you ever need anything Jo and I will be there.” That brings a small smile to my face. 

“Thanks El, I'll talk to you later.” I hang up from her and just sit there and I get a text. “Call if you need anything :) -Jo”

It was amazing to have them, it was almost like having a moth-. My thoughts were interrupted by my phone ringing. “Hey, Cas. Any updates?” 

“The colt.” He responded, plainly.

“The colt that we lost?” I questioned, sipping my beer.

“It’s the only thing that could kill Lucifer, Y/n. And if you three still want to kill him, that's how we do it.” 

“Have any leads?” I ask.

“Where are you now?”

“Kansas city. Rev Motel, room 444”

“Good, I’ll be right there.”

“Cas, wait, I need sleep. Can we meet in like four hours?”

“Okay, four hours.”

“Thanks, Cas.”

I went to sleep but not even an hour later I got a call. It was Sam. I answered instantly.

“Sam?”

“Hey N/n, how are you doing?” 

I didn’t know how to tell him so I did something I hate doing. I lied. 

“Uh…good. You?”

“No, I’m not, I’m I- I’m…the vessel for Lucifer.” That makes me shoot straight up in bed. 

“What!?” I replied.

“Yeah, he told me all Freddy Krueger style.”  I think about it, and it makes sense with the whole prophecy thing.

“Okay. Well then we will take this on like any other thing. I’ll send you my location.”

He pauses and I can almost make out mumbles, “Really just like that.”

“Yeah of course Sam, Why?” I retort.

He sighs and breathes in deeply. “I told Dean, and he said we would be better apart.”

The anger courses through me like a storm. But I didn’t want to upset Sam anymore. I had been going through the same feelings as him. “I'm sorry Sam, it seems Dean has been a jerk to both of us, just call me when you're on your way, kay?”

“Kay, love you Y/n.”

“Love you too Sam.” 

I hung up the phone and crawled back into bed feeling uneasy, like pieces of myself were missing, like I wasn’t whole. I knew what was, but I couldn't force Dean to be here if he didn’t want to be, just like Dad.

Tweet tweet. I slowly opened my eyes and there was a bird in front of me? I fully open them and as my vision clears from sleep. I think I’m still dreaming because my whole room looks like Edward Scissorhands wanted to be a room designer. I got up from the broken bed and everything was tattered and filthy. I put my head outside the window and the whole street looked like it had been abandoned for ten years. I went outside and it was definitely eerie. I felt like I was transported into a zombie movie. I see an old newspaper case and grab one out.

“OUTBREAK NOW HITS KANSAS CITY, WHERE DO WE GO NOW?” My eyes then wandered down to the date. “January 15th, 2014.” What the fuck?

I started to walk down the street trying to gather what was happening. I then walk down an alley and see Dean.

“Dean?” He turns to me and grabs to hug me. I forget what had been said but for just that moment. I then glance over his shoulder and see a little girl, out cold.

“Did you punch a child out?” He looked between him and the girl and saw how bad it looked.

“The little psycho pulled a knife on me!” I'm about to respond when my head turns and I see the one word I wasn’t expecting.

“CROATOAN” 

“Oh shit!” At that, a lot of people spawn out of nowhere, all of them affected by something.

“Run?”

“Run!” Dean agrees with me and we both book it down the street, and holy fuck the affected were like fast zombies. We hit a dead end and are about to be pounced on when the military comes out of nowhere and shoots them all down, miraculously missing us. We parted the barbed wire to clear a fence and begin walking.

“So?” Dean questions.

“Yeah, so what the hell are we doing in 2014!?” I blurt out anxiously. Dean stops me.

“We’re in 2014!?” He utters, reciprocating my fear. I just shake my head.

“Okay, I think we should go to Bobby’s. You?” He asked me, staring intently into my eyes. I couldn't return his gaze.

“Sounds good.” I responded coldly and Dean knew why.

I managed to hotwire a car and we were on our way. A stale silence filled the car which never happened; there was usually talking or music, but not now. With Dean gripping the steering wheel, he finally said the words that had been on his mind for the last hour. 

“So, are we going to talk?”

I don’t even look at him. “About what?”

“You know what, Y/n I really am sor-” I stopped him at that. 

“Dean, we are currently trapped in 2014 with a deadly virus on our asses, I don’t know, could we maybe pause that conversation till we figure it out after?” I never stalled a chance for us to apologize to each other. That's how he knew he really screwed up.

“Of course.” A couple more seconds and we get the living daylights sacred out of us.

“AHH FUCK!” Dean had the same response and there was Zachariah sitting there, smugly. I should of fucking known.

"Croatoan pandemic reaches Australia." He reads off from a newspaper headline.

“I thought I smelled your stink on this Back to the Future crap.” Dean quipped at him.

“‘President Palin defends bombing of Houston.’ Certainly a buyer's market in real estate. Let's see what's happening in sports. That's right—no more sports. Congress revoked the right to group assembly. What's left of Congress, that is. Hardly a quorum, if you ask me.”

“How did you find us?” I painfully asked him. I didn’t want to look at the fuckface.

“Nice to see you too, Y/n. Afraid we had to tap some unorthodox resources of late—human informants. We've been making inspirational visits to the fringier Christian groups. They've been given your guy’s image, told to keep an eye out.” I think and I know who it was.

“The Nun selling the flowers! That bitch, and to think I bought daisies from her.” I said, shaking my head in annoyance.

“The Bible freak outside the motel—they, what, dropped a dime on us?” Dean said.

“Onward, Christian soldiers.” Zach replied.

“Okay, well, good, great. You have had your jollies. Now send us back, you son of a bitch.” Dean commanded.

“Oh, you'll get back—all in good time. We want you to marinate a bit.” Zach said, amused. I look back to wanting to smack him.

“The fuck that’s supposed to mean?”

“Three days, Dean. Three days to see where this course of action takes you.” Zach then looks at me.

“And for you, really think if you don’t let your brothers fulfill their prophecy, see what happens.”

At that Dean and I looked at each other, thinking, what were we going to see?

I kick the door open to Bobby’s house.

“Bobby! Bobby!” 

Dean and I go in searching for any sign of Bobby. Sadly, his house looked like everywhere else. The nail in the coffin was just an empty wheelchair in the middle of the hallway covered in cobwebs and dust on its side with bullet holes and dried blood. It had been sitting there for years. 

“Bobby…”

Dean goes to the fire mantel and picks up an old picture of a group of men. One of them was Bobby but strangely, another was Cas. Dean points at the photo.

“Camp Chitaqua.” 

We had gotten to the camp and we had sneaked in. A few steps in and we see a horrible thing- well, at least to Dean. It was Baby. Most of her parts were missing- wheels gone and greenery growing out of it. Dean sticks his head in the open car. 

“Oh, no, Baby, what did they do to you?” 

I hear some rustling and before I know it Dean has been knocked out. I tried to run but it was too late.

A gun cocks. “Turn around, slowly.”

I do and I see my brother, lying unconscious on the ground.

“Dean?” I ask, staring in shock at the man before me, who looks exactly like Dean, but a bit older and before I knew it I was out too.

Future Dean’s cabin had its essentials: guns, food, and liquor. My Dean was still knocked out and handcuffed. I was too smart, because we are all Winchesters, after all.

“So should we talk-” I was stopped because future Dean was giving me the death stare.

“Okay, won’t talk. Got it.” He just sits and stares at me.

“Do I have something on my face or-”

“I need your arm.” He doesn't give me a chance and just grabs it.

“Hey! HEY!” He pulls out a silver knife and makes a cut in my arm. “OW! You could have at least given me a second!”

He stands up and grabs a flask. “We don’t have the luxury of seconds anymore.”

I can’t even respond because Holy water gets thrown in my face. I spit it out.

“I'm not a monster and neither is he.” I nod to my Dean.

“I know.” He said and for a reason there is a tiny bit of sadness behind it.

“How did you two end up here?”

“Fucking Zach.” I say with heavy disdain. Dean chuckles and mumbles something I couldn't hear. “I'm from 2009.” 

“If you were my sister, tell me something we would only know.” Future Dean questions.

I think for a moment and come up with the perfect thing. “My first date stood me up, so you picked me up and we egged his house. You told me that he was an idiot and that you would always… be there for me.” I finish with a small smile thinking about one of the few good memories from my childhood all because of… Dean.

“Yeah, I wanted to throw it at his car, but you said that was too far and I remember being happy that you still cared.” Dean said looking down at his hands with a hint of melancholy to his voice. Which made me curious.

At that moment my Dean wakes up. “Y/n! Y/n!” 

“Dean, I'm okay! So are you.” My Dean looked at Future Dean and a look of horror consumed his face. This was getting too confusing. I decided to call my Dean by his name and the future one DD. It was a nickname I had for him when I was little.

“I know Zach threw you guys here. Where is he? I want to talk to him.” DD asked Dean.

“We don’t know.” Dean answered for us.

“So, what, Zach zapped you two up here to see how bad it gets?”

“I guess. Croatoan virus, right? That's their endgame?” Dean asked DD. I mean it has to be right?! I wondered.

“It's efficient, it's incurable, and it's scary as hell. Turns people into monsters. Started hitting the major cities about two years ago. World really went in the crapper after that.” Two years ago? Then where the Hell is Sam? My thoughts raced.

“Then what about Sam?” Dean had the same question as me, rightly so.

DD is silent for a second. You could see the cogs turning in his head as he thought about how to respond.

“Heavyweight showdown in Detroit. From what I understand, Sam didn't make it.” Dean and I widened our eyes at that news.

“What happened?” I questioned, scared for the answer.

“No. No, me and Sam, we haven't talked in—hell, five years,” DD replied. I look between DD and Dean. So that is what happens. Why didn't I try to connect us together?

“What about me?” I ask, concerned. DD turns his head and puts it down in shame.

“I haven't seen you in five years, N/n.” At that, DD starts to leave.

“Wait, wait! What’s that supposed to mean?” I tried to grab his attention because that short explanation was not good enough, especially considering the situation we were in. 

“It means that we…I haven’t seen you for five years.” He stops the conversation there, grabs his stuff and turns to Dean.

“Okay. All right. Fine. But you don't have to cuff me, man. Oh, come on. You don't trust yourself?” Dean said to DD, very offended. DD looks between the two of us.

“You're right, I'm sorry.” He goes and grabs a pair of handcuffs and secures them on my wrists.

“Hey, that's not fair!” I reply, trying to defend myself.

DD turns to me and gives a look, as if to say, “Really?”

“Okay, fair.” DD rolls his eyes and leaves the cabin. Dean and I look at each other.

“How the hell are we always short sighted in our own Back to the Future movies?” I asked Dean.

“I don’t know, Y/n, maybe Marty McFly screwed the system for us.” Dean used a nail he quickly pulled out from the floor board, unlocked his cuffs, and threw me the nail. I followed suit, while Dean started to leave.

“Uh, where do you think you're going?”

“I'm going to check out all this!” He pointed outside.

“What about everyone else seeing doubles?” I said, pointing out the obvious.

“Oh please, with the world they live in, I think they will be okay. Are you going to come?”

I looked around and decided that I needed to uncover a little more in here. “I'm going to look around in here.”

“Okay I'll be back in an hour.” He opened the door, glanced around, and snuck out.

I stand up. Let's just say the cabin did not have much charm to it. “Okay, time to Scooby Doo this bitch.”

I had been looking around for about thirty minutes and I had found nothing, just six guns and eight empty booze bottles, which was typical of Dean. As I walked around the room, a floorboard creaked. “Uh huh, still the same hiding spot from when you were a teen Dean.” I kneel down and pry the board open to find a brown leather journal that looks identical to our Dad’s. I picked it up and started to go through it. Usually I wouldn’t do this, but DD is definitely hiding something important.

“It's been a year since this damn breakout started. Bobby and I tried to defend Sioux Falls the best we could but we had to leave. The Croatans are never ending and basically are super powered. I haven’t really gotten sleep. The only aid I get is from a bottle if I'm lucky enough to find one. It's the only reason why I won’t have nightmares about what happened…” 

I began to filp the page to continue reading but before I could I heard Dean scream followed by a gunshot. I dropped the journal and ran out the door and towards the sound. I see a clearing and Dean and DD standing there with a dead dude on the ground. Other people were staring at Dean like it was The Parent Trap. 

“Dean! Are you okay!?” I ran to his side. 

“Yeah I’m fine, but he isn't.” He glanced down to the poor sap.

“Who shot him?” I questioned and at that time I noticed everyone looking at me even weirder than the twins.

“Uh, my twin.” Dean responded.

Then I felt someone touch my shoulder. I turned to see Cas standing before me.

“Cas?” He just stares in my eyes and I see so much pain and sorrow behind them. He pulls me in for a deep and strong hug, even stronger than when he hugged me after he came back from the dead.

“Cas are you okay?” I squeeze back.

We let go and he gives me a chilling response:

“Y/n, you've been dead for five years.”

I somehow found myself back in the cabin, my whole world turned upside down. Dean and I were silent, thinking about what was just uncovered. DD was just standing there silently.

“So, you want to say something DD?”

He looks at me with emotion in his eyes that I couldn’t quite pinpoint. “You haven’t called me that since you were eight.” 

“Yeah it’s a little too The Parent Trap to call you both Dean. Let’s move on from childhood names and tell me, how the hell am I dead, and why didn't you tell us?” I declared, crossing my arms. I had no way of regulating my feelings more than I usually do.

DD sighs and looks down and Dean and I are waiting. “Five years ago you died in Detroit, that's the day I regretted not saying yes.” He turns to Dean.

“That’s why you have to say yes.” Dean stared at DD.

“How do I die?” I asked.

“I don’t remember, no one does.” He poured a tall glass of whiskey.

“What do you mean you don’t remember!?” I slammed my hands down on the table in confusion and anger.

“I mean that no one remembers how it happens. Maybe it was from trauma or the Angels but we all can’t remember shit about that day.” He finished by gulping down the drink. I had to get some air, so I headed outside.

I started walking while everyone looked at me like they were seeing a ghost. Technically, they were. I didn't even realize that my legs were running till I got to a clearing where I was far enough away that I could think straight. I leaned my back against a big tall pine tree, letting myself slide down to the stump. I tried to catch my breath in the cold air, and it was obvious that I wasn’t doing a good job. As I exhaled, my breath looked like a white plume of smoke. Thousands of thoughts ran through my head, none of them stopping to drink water. 

“Hey, are you okay?” A deep scruffy voice asked from the other side of the tree. I didn't need to turn to see who the owner of the voice was. It might have sounded a little strained and hoarse, but I knew it was my best friend. I got up, slowly trying not to stumble while ignoring the oncoming headache. 

“To be honest, Cas, no. I mean, how are you supposed to react when you die in almost a year?” I put my hand on my head trying to calm it.

“It’s been five years for me, the worst five years.” He sits down on a stomp and takes out an old pack of cigs that looks about ten years old. He lights one up and breathes it in and blows out a long puff of smoke. I went to sit down next to him.

“Since when do you smoke?” I waited for an answer and just took a good look at him. He was still handsome as ever, but looked aged and scared in more than one way.

“Since you died and the world went to shit.” He throws the cig and then he takes out a small flask, immediately throwing it back like he couldn't be without a substance for more than a couple of seconds. I hated seeing him like this.

“Do you remember how I-” I hesitated to continue. not wanting to speak it in existence more than it had.

“How you die? No, I don’t, like everyone else.” He offered me the flask and I thought, what the hell. I take it and drink it back. 

“Ugh that tastes disgusting- it’s like old peach schnapps.” I pulled it from my mouth and spit it out on the ground.

He takes it back, smiling. “That's ‘cause it is, Y/n. Not many stores in the apocalypse, but as long as it gets me drunk I don’t care.” He then again drinks it back like it’s nothing, telling me he’s had a lot of practice.

“So what happened after I… died.”

“Well, the Angels had their fun letting the Croats and demons run around after the planet was barely spinning. We've been trying to save what’s left.” I hadn’t heard such a hopeless sentence for a long time. Then I realized something that should be so obvious.

“Cas… You're not an Angel anymore, are you.”  He chuckles at that.

“N/n, always so smart. Yeah, I lost my wings a long time ago. I think it had something to do with the others leaving. I don’t know. So, I'm useless.” He drank again.

“Useless?”

“Yeah, useless, I couldn’t even… save you.” He says, full of regret and disdain.

“Cas, you have never been useless, even after losing your wings, despite what you think. You are useful just being you! Don’t blame yourself for what happened. I can tell you, even though for me it hasn’t happened yet, it wasn’t your fault.”

He turns to me and gives me a real smile. 

“I missed that.”

“Missed what?”

“Missed you pulling me from hell, no matter what.”

Cas and I walked back to the cabin. When we arrived, everyone was having a meeting and the colt was in the middle of the table.

“Is that the colt!?” I asked, surprised, and sat down. Cas looked curious as well.

Both DD and Dean stared at me as how to I was doing.

‘How are you doing?” Dean whispered to me.

“I…” I didn't really know.

“So, that's it? That's the Colt?” Risa questioned.

“If anything can kill Lucifer, this is it.” DD responded holding up the gun confidently.

“Great. Have we got anything that can find Lucifer?” Risa threw back with attitude and she did have a good question.

“Are you okay?” DD was confused.

“Oh, we were in, uh, Jane's cabin last night. And, apparently, we and...Risa have a connection.” Dean told DD and I had to try to hold back my laughter.

“We don't have to find Lucifer. We know where he is. The demon that we caught last week, he was one of the big guy's entourage. He knew,” DD stated.

“Are we really trusting a demon?” I just couldn't believe Dean, especially that this Dean (DD) would take a demon's word truthfully.

“ Y/n our fearless leader, I'm afraid, is all too well schooled in the art of getting to the truth.” Cas said and I could tell he was sad saying it.

“Torture? Oh, so, we're—we're torturing again. No, that's—that's good. Classy.” Dean said in disbelief to DD.

Cas laughs at that and DD gives him a look.

“What? I like past you.” Cas riposted back.

“Lucifer is here. Now. I know the block and I know the building.” DD brought out a map and a block was circled.

“Oh, good—it's right in the middle of a hot zone.” Cas clearly pointed out.

“Crawling with Croats, yeah. You saying my plan is reckless?” DD replied.

“Are you saying we, uh, walk in straight up the driveway, past all the demons and the Croats, and we shoot the devil?” 

“Yes.”

“Okay, if you don't like, uh, 'reckless', I could use 'insouciant', maybe,” Cas stated.

“Are you coming?”

“Of course. But why is he? I mean, he's you five years ago. If something happens to him, you're gone, right?” Cas was right- I should technically be dead- but not him.

“He's coming.” DD commanded firmly.

Cas is done with DD’s bullshit and just agrees to halt the conversation. “Okay. Well, uh. I'll get the grunts moving.” Him and Risa leave.

“Why are you taking us?” Dean asked DD. DD reloads his gun, looking down.

“Relax. You'll be fine. Zach's looking after you, right?”

“No, that's not what I mean. I want to know what's going on.” Dean was right.

“Yeah, I second that.” I chimed in.

“Yeah, okay. You're coming because I want you to see something. I want you to see our brother.”

“Sam’s dead like me right…?” I asked, hesitantly. DD looks into my eyes and sighs and then turns to Dean.

“Sam didn't die in Detroit. He said 'yes'.”

“Wait. You mean—” 

“That's right. The big 'yes'. To the devil. Lucifer's wearing him to the prom.” 

“Why in the hell would Sam do that? It makes no sense.” I wondered, voicing my thoughts.

“I don’t know why N/n, but now we don't have a choice. It's in him, and it's not getting out. And we've got to kill him, Dean. And you need to see it—the whole damn thing, how bad it gets—so you can do it differently.”

“What do you mean?”

“Zach said he was gonna bring you back, right? To ‘09?”

“When you get back home—you say 'yes'. You hear me? Say 'yes' to Michael.” DD was chest to chest with Dean, pleading with him.

“If Dean does that then Michael and Lucifer will smoke half the planet.”

“AT LEAST YOU’LL BE ALIVE!” DD yelled, finally letting his anger out.

“Look around you, man. Half the planet's better than no planet, which is what we have now. Your sister can still be alive. If I could do it over again, I'd say 'yes' in a heartbeat.” DD continued.

“So why don't you?” Dean asked.

“I've tried! I've shouted 'yes' till I was blue in the face! The angels aren't listening! They just—left—gave up! It's too late for me, but for you—” DD went on.

“Oh, no. There's got to be another way,” Dean interrupted.

“Yeah, that's what I thought. I was cocky. Never actually thought I'd lose. But I was wrong. Dean. I was wrong. I'm begging you. Say yes. So our sister can live.” 

I get in a truck with Cas to head to the site where Sam supposedly is. It’s so weird to see him driving, but I liked it. He takes out a bottle of pills and takes a couple.

“Pills? What the hell are those?” I nod my head to the bottle.

“Amphetamines, you want some?” Cas easily said, without regard. My stomach dropped.

“Sure.” I give a sweet smile, prompting Cas to hand me the bottle. I proceeded to roll down the window and threw the bottle out.

“WHAT THE HELL Y/N? Do you know how hard it is to find those?” Cas tried to focus on the road and not to turn back.

“No I don’t, and I don’t care.”

“Why!? Why would you do that?”

“Because you're not being you!”

“What does that even mean!” He exclaimed, hitting the wheel, turning to glare at me quickly before looking back at the road.

“The Cas I know would never get high and drink!”

“I'm not the Cas you know or knew I don’t really know but after you died… I couldn't, I just couldn't.”

“Cas, listen to me. After this, go somewhere for me.”

He looked to me. “Where?”

“Go see the Northern lights.” 

“Why there?”

“I never got to go and probably never will, so you go for me. I don’t want you to be sad, I want you to get the full human experience, feel sad, and mad... and love. Feel for me, because I can’t bear to see a shell of you. Just promise me, okay?” I grab his hand and squeeze it tightly.

“Okay, I promise.”

We had gotten to the site and it was an old repair building. DD started telling us the plan. 

“There. Second-floor window. We go in there.” He pointed up to the building. He said this as if it was easy to accomplish.

“You sure about this?” Risa rightfully questioned.

“They'll never see us coming. Trust me. Now, weapons check. We're on the move in five.” This is too easy and fishy, I thought. He’s lying.

“Hey, uh, me. Can I talk to you for a sec?” Dean nodded at DD.

I get up to go with them. “Tell me what's going on.”

“What?” Dean in any timeline can be such a bad liar.

“DD, you forget that I have been with you our entire lives. What the fuck are you planning?” I pointed at his chest.

“I don't know what you're talking about.” DD rebutted back. 

“Oh, really? Well, we don't seem to be the only members of your party with some questions, so, uh, maybe we will just take our doubts over to them.” Dean and I started to walk away.

“Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. Take a look around you, guys. This place should be white-hot with Croats. Where are they?” He said, holding us back by the collars of our shirts.

“They cleared a path for us. Which means that this is—”

“A fucking trap. Then we can’t go through the front!” I concluded.

“Oh, we're not. They are. They're the decoys. We're going in through the back, us three.” My jaw dropped at what DD suggested.

“You mean you're gonna feed your friends into a meat grinder? Cas, too? You want to use their deaths as a diversion?” 

DD looks away in shame.

“Oh, man, something is broken in you. You're making decisions that I would never make. I wouldn't sacrifice my friends.” That's when DD snaps.

“You're right. You wouldn't. Maybe seeing that your SISTER DIES BECAUSE OF YOUR STUBBORNNESS CHANGES THAT!” He screamed at Dean and his eyes floated to me in the tension. Dean and I turned to each other, knowing we had to go warn the rest of our party.

“These people count on you. They trust you.” Dean tried to counter.

“They trust me to kill the devil and to save the world and that's exactly what I'm gonna do.” DD replied coldly and hopelessly.

“No. Not like this, you're not. We are not gonna let you.” We start walking away and suddenly, Dean is knocked out.

I gasped and turned to DD. “DD please, I know you don’t want to do this, I know you don’t want to kill your friends, Castiel, just to kill the devil.” I was backed up against a tree as DD came closer.

“Y/n, I want to trust me (Dean). Like you said, you know me, but I can’t let him keep living. Not after having you die ‘cause of it. I really am sorry.” I didn’t get another word until the handle of DD’s shotgun went into my head.

I slowly start waking up to the sound of lots of gunfire. I stumble to get up. I was pretty sure I had a concussion. Everything is a little blurry and tilted. Dean is still knocked out and DD is nowhere to be found. 

“Dean, get up!” I shook him but he was not budging. I sighed in frustration and anxiety. I remembered why there was a lot of gunfire, the trap, and Cas.

“I'll be back Dean!” I tell him in his unconscious state and run to the building.

I enter as quickly and quietly as possible. There are dead Croats and sadly, there are some of our own, lying on the floor. I pick up a gun and go up the stairs where I find Cas killing a Croat.

“Cas!” I run up to him, he drops the body, and I run into his arms. “Oh thank God.” I whispered and tightened my grip on him. And so does he. We let go.

“I think that is what I miss most, is your hugs.” He says and I can see tears build up in his blue soulful eyes, mixed with regret and affliction.

“Can you promise me something?” He continued.

“Of course.” I nodded my head.

“When you get back will you uh hu-” His words suddenly stopped and blood slowly started to come out of his mouth.

“Cas!?” He slumps down revealing that a Demon had stabbed him in the back. The demon pulls out the knife and gives me a creepy smile.

“Aww did I kill your boyfr-” I pulled out my gun and shot him in the face not letting him have the fucking satisfaction of finishing his sentence.

“CAS! Cas, stay with me! It’s okay, I'll get help!” I frantically said, panic rushing through me.

“N/n you can’t even if…you could there is nothing that could help me in this timeline just stay with me please?” Cas said in between coughs. Blood is now spraying on his shirt. It was like deja vu- flashes of Sam flashed through my head.

“I’m here, Cas.” I pull his head on my lap and stroked his hair.

“Ha ha ha...” Cas somehow laughed through more coughing fits.

“How in the hell are you laughing right now?” I said while tears rolled down my cheeks.

“It’s just funny that a formal Angel is dying from something as simple as a stab wound, don’t you think?” He gave me a half-stoned smile.

“Ha, I don’t think it’s funny at all.” I sniffed.

“I'm sorry I can’t go see the lights.” I could feel he was slipping away quickly.

“Oh Cas don’t be sorry, I just always wanted you to live for you.” My tears were coming out and there was no stopping it.

“I was really stupid when you were still here.” 

“What do you mean?”

“I never told you how you changed me, how you gave me courage, how you taught me to lov-” He just stops.

“Cas! CAS!” I shook him hard now, a full-on waterfall coming down my face. “Cas…” I whispered. He was gone.

How come the people I care about keep dying? I thought.

There was a crack of lighting outside to pull me out of my thoughts. I looked down and saw … Sam.

“I’ll be back to bury you I promise.” I say in Cas’s ear and kiss his forehead.

I run outside to be met with a rose garden and Sam is in this full white suit, DD’s head under his foot. His backside is to me. DD sees me and tries to say something but is stopped by his neck being snapped.

“Y/n well, this is a surprise. I was just expecting our brother.” He said this so calmly like it was normal that it sent a chill down my spine.

“You are not Sam.” I circled him carefully.

“You're right, I'm not, but he does desperately want to see you, he’s begging me to come up to just speak to you for a minute. I mean, how could you blame him, his little sister has been dead for five years.” He tried to jab at me to get some type of an emotion to manipulate but I would not give in as all of it was expelled about two minutes ago. Dean then shows up behind him.

“You've come a long way to see this, haven't you?” He said to the both of us. Giving us sinister eyes and speaking like a snake.

“Well, go ahead. Kill us.” Dean blurts out. I mean, both of us will die anyway, I thought.

“Kill you?” He looks at DD, who is dead, then back at me with a confused look. 

“Don't you think that would be a little...redundant?” 

“I'm sorry. It must be painful, speaking to me in this—shape. But it had to be your brother. It had to be.” Sam, or more technically, Lucifer, rebuttals back. He reaches for Dean and my shoulders but we both pull back. 

“You don't have to be afraid of me, you two. What do you think I'm going to do?” 

“You know we may not be full Bible knowledge holders but we do the major stuff of what you did and continue to do.” I fought back, not falling for his bullshit.

“Yeah, what she said.” Dean nodded at me in agreement.

“Why? Why would I want to destroy this stunning thing? Beautiful in a trillion different ways. The last perfect handiwork of God.” Neither of us wanted to hear these lies. “You ever hear the story of how I fell from grace?”

“No, but I’m sure you're going to annoyingly tell us.”

“Ahh Y/n, I have always loved your little quips. You know why God cast me down? Because I loved him. More than anything. And then God created…” He smiles and turns his head down on us. “You. The little...hairless apes. And then he asked all of us to bow down before you—to love you, more than him. And I said, ‘Father, I can't.’ I said, ‘These human beings are flawed, murderous.’ And for that, God had Michael cast me into hell. Now, tell me, does the punishment fit the crime? Especially, when I was right? Look at what six billion of you have done to this thing, and how many of you blame me for it.” I hadn’t had the urge to punch someone so hard since Ruby.

“You're not fooling me, you know that? With this sympathy-for-the-devil crap. We know what you are.” Dean said for the both of us.

“What am I?” 

“You're the same thing, only bigger. The same brand of cockroach I've been squashing our whole lives. An ugly, evil, belly-to-the-ground, supernatural piece of crap. The only difference between them and you is the size of your ego.” Lucifer smiles at us like we are little kids playing cops and robbers.

“I like you, Dean. I get what the other angels see in you. Goodbye. We'll meet again soon. And Y/n I’m sorry, I won’t be able to hear your funny lines again.” He turns away from us.

“You better kill me now!” Dean screams at him.

“Pardon?” 

“You better kill me now. Or I swear, I will find a way to kill you. And I won't stop.”

“I know you won't. I know you won't say yes to Michael, either. And I know you won't kill Sam. Whatever you do, you will always end up here. Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up—here. I win. So, I win.”

“You're wrong.”

“See you in five years, Dean. Y/n, Sam loves you though I could give him that.” At that thunder and lighting crack, Lucifer disappears, and Dean and I turn to see Zachariah reaching for us.

“Wait! I have to bury Cas!” Of course, I didn’t get to.

Dean and I are dropped in Dean’s hotel room and we lean against the sink to catch our breaths.

“Oh, well, if it isn't the ghost of Christmas screw you.” Dean said in annoyance.

“Enough. Dean, enough. You saw it, right? You saw what happens. You're the only person who can prove the devil wrong. Your sister dies. Just say yes.”

“How do I know that this whole thing isn't one of your tricks? Huh? Some angel hocus-pocus?”

“The time for tricks is over. Give yourself to Michael. Say yes and we can strike. Before Lucifer gets to Sam. Before billions die.” He then turns to me.

“Y/n, you die, don’t you want to live, convince your brother.”

Dean and I are on the same page because at the same time we both say “Nah.”

“'Nah'? You two are telling me you haven't learned your lesson?” 

“Look, off-brand Disney channel character, I’m in charge of my future, not what you dicks have planned.” I poured a drink for Dean and I.

“And I've learned a lesson, all right. Just not the one you wanted to teach.” Dean quipped drinking back.

And anger just surges through him. “Well, I'll just have to teach it again! Because I got you now, boy, girl and I'm never letting you—”

We landed on the side of the road under a lamplight and Cas was standing there.

“That's pretty nice timing, Cas.” Dean let out a breath of relief.

“We had an appoi-” I didn’t let him finish before I threw my hands around him trying to take in everything about him. Trying to find his heartbeat ‘Thump Thump’ there it is.

“Sorry, I just…” How was I supposed to tell him? “Missed you.” I finished. Dean’s eyes went between us knowing the reason for the sudden hug and he tried to bring attention away from it.

“Cas don’t ever change.” He claps Cas’s shoulder in awe and a smile.

“How did Zachariah find you?”

“Long story. Let's just stay away from Jehovah's Witnesses from now on, okay?”

“And Nun’s selling flowers.” Dean then pulls out his phone.

“What are you doing?” Cas asks. I glance down and see Sam’s name on his phone and I smile at it.

“Something I should have done in the first place.”

Dean and I are waiting by the Impala for Sam. His car pulls up and I send a quick prayer to whatever is out there that everything goes smoothly. Sam gets out and walks over slowly.

“Sam.” Dean pulls out the demon knife.

“If you're serious and you want back in...you should hang on to this. I'm sure you're rusty.” Wow Dean is actually listening to me, crazy, I thought. Sam takes the knife.

“Look, man, I'm sorry. I don't know. I'm...whatever I need to be. But I was, uh—wrong.” Dean confessed.

“What made you change your mind?” Sam asks and well a lot Sam.

“Long story. The point is...maybe we are each other's Achilles heel. Maybe they'll find a way to use us against each other, I don't know. I just know we're all we've got. More than that. We keep each other human.”  The three of us I don’t know. I haven't really felt like this before. Not sure if we need these extra two sentences, maybe change this? 

“Thank you. Really. Thank you. I won't let you down.” Sam really was thankful.

“Oh, I know it. I mean, you are the second-best hunter on the planet.” Dean said, talking like a true older brother.

“Uh excuse me you mean third best hunter right?” I added in. My brothers both chuckle at me.

“So, what do we do now?” Sam asks.

“I’ll tell you what we do, Sam, we kick ass and take names and our future.” I ended.

“Guess we have no choice.”

[animaticaskblog]

Epilogue.

...

...

...so what are we gonna do with doodle's corpse exactly?

LETS BURN IT!!

why would we burn it.

Hey man! youre the one WHO hates him. Lalala

...that's fair. i don't ... think it's fair to leave him dead though. the...people want him back. and i'm forcing myself to respect that.

WELL LETS ASK LINEART!!

who?

MEEMKJMEMEME ME! ME. it's me. I AM THE ONE

is he just a more annoying version of you.

pretttty much!

yaaaaaay.

lineart what do we do with the corpse!

...FORTNITE. CHUG JUG

ok! *whips out fortnite chug jug*

...what is that??

is a chug jug

yes. i know. what does it do.

maxes your shields in fortnite!

ok??

*animatic forcefeeds doodle the c hug jug*

wh...where am i?

DOODLE YOURE NOT DEAD! YAY!

oh. right. i got killed by YOU.

sorry i was just. mad i guess

ok.

...what are we even supposed to do now?

well, i don't know about you guys, but i gotta pay someone a visit.

oh uh. ok. bye doodle.

go fuck yourself purple boy.

...ok?? ill. probably head out too to be honest.

i think this place is too much for me. i can find...my own adventure. be more than just a recolor of you animatic. i'm gonna be someone. do something. it'll be great. later!

GOODBYE WHATEVER YOUR NAME WAS! now lineart its just you and me! are you gonna go anywhere!

...

I WILL LEAVE TO SOMEWHERE CLOSE. I WILL NO LONGER LOOK LIKE HOW DO I DO NOW. ONCE YOU SEE THE GREEN, YOU'LL KNOW IT'S ME. I WILL FOLLOW YOU ALL TO YOUR GRAVES. I WONT SOUND THE SAME. I WONT LOOK THE SAME. YOU WILL KNOW. I WILL BE THERE. YOULL SEE ME AGAIN SOON.

FEAR MY RETURN.

*lineart collapses into a green goop and dashes away*

wow! ok! uh. IT'S TIME FOR EPISODE 4!! *animatic walks over to get the eliminated contestants*

Thank you for asking. Thank you for liking. Thank you for reading. Thank you for everything, everyone.

[imzadi-caskett-huddy]

CHARACTER ASK GAME: Kate Beckett, 1-14 (all) + 25., if it's not a problem. :) Thank you!

I'm not gonna lie, I 100% wanted someone to send me this ask about Beckett! Sorry it took a little bit to answer, I'm on vacation so I've been occupied. But here we go!

1. I like this character because she's not perfect. She has flaws, but she still always tries to do the right thing. She's badass. She's strong. She's independent. She's incredibly well written because real people aren't perfect. There are qualities she has that I share. There are qualities she has that I admire and strive to emulate. And... not gonna lie...Stana's portrayal I'm sure has something to do with it as well.

2. Fav canon thing... um...I love that she was a fan of Castle's before they began working together. I also love that she was the youngest woman in the history of the NYPD to make detective. I also love her motorcycle though we never really saw her ride.

3. Least fav canon thing... that she felt she had to try to be separated from Castle in Season 8 to protect him... also she's not great at communication in relationships, like with Castle. Use your words!

4. Any other media... not gonna lie, I would LOVE a SVU/Castle crossover where Beckett and Benson shared time together, either with Benson as her captain, or as the two captains dealing with the men in their lives or their precincts.

5. First song that comes to mind...Superman by 3 Doors Down

6. Something Beckett and I have in common... we both suck at talking about our feelings.

7. Something the fandom does that I like... use her hairstyle to tell the season and sometimes the episode... does that count? This one was hard, lol

8. Something the fandom does that I despise... say her eyes are green in fics. Also there is a fair amount of Beckett hate inside the Castle fandom...I don't understand it.

9. Beckett and I would probably be okay roommates. I keep to myself the way she does. I'm slightly more messy I think than she'd probably like, but we'd most likely get along ok.

10. I could totally be best friends with Kate Beckett! Similar personalities... similar likes...we'd get along great.

11. Um...no. If I'm dating anyone from the world of Castle, it's Castle himself.

12. Headcanon I have...She made her Detective rank in vice. I'm reasonably sure this was never stated in the show, but it's just a strong feeling I have. She's too good at certain aspects of her job to not have come up through the ranks in vice before she became a homicide detective. Also that she was a chronic dater before Castle came along.

13. Emoji... nothing reminds me of her, but if I had to pick one she probably uses a lot, it would be the facepalm because... well... she did marry Castle. And I feel he requires that one a lot.

14. Fashion aesthetic... leather jackets

15. Favorite ship... uh, Caskett, duh!

16. Least fav ship...Josh. Definitely Josh. He was a serious problem who hung around way too long. And I KNOW Marlowe kept him around solely as the reason Castle and Beckett didn't hook up at the end of season 3 in episodes like LA

17. Ship that I don't hate but am fine with...um, there isn't one. She's Castle's girl. I don't like her with anyone else... I'm not fine with her with anyone else.

18. Canon relationship I admire with another character...I love her relationship with Martha. I also love her relationship with Espo, especially in episodes like Kill Shot. And I LOVE Lanie and Kate screentime!

19. Relationship from Canon that I don't like... I don't know that there is one outside of the guys she dated. Not a fan of her dealings with Sorenson, Demming or Josh, but I feel that's pretty standard.

20. Ideal best friend... Lanie is a pretty great girl best friend. Castle is a pretty great guy best friend... which is good considering they got married.

21. Fav thing to do when writing for Beckett is angst. I can't help it...Stana was SO great with those heavy emotional scenes on the show, I love worrying then with her in my head! Something I don't like writing for her is actual police work. I HATE it so much. Also, the few times I've had to write her with Josh drive me crazy too.

22. Something I like in fics when it comes to Beckett is having her call Castle "Rick" sparingly. He calls her Kate way more than she calls him Rick... it should start like that in fics. Something I don't like... and I touched on it earlier... is when writers say she has green eyes. Her eyes are not green. Also, when writers have her just stay crying over everything... Kate is not a random emotional crier. You have to do a lot to get her to re m that point... she's not going to cry over an argument or something small.

23. Fav pic... oh no. No way can I narrow this down.

24. I'm not sure there is another character from another fandom that reminds me of Beckett. She's pretty one of a kind. She's definitely one of the best written characters in TV history, and she towers over everyone else in my list of favorite characters because she's so unique.

25. My first impression of this character was that she has great hair, awesome leather jackets that I want, and that she's a badass hero who at times I see a lot of myself in. Also that she's a fighter. Now after watching the show beginning to end, my impression was pretty spot on. Though I would add I discovered her softer side (I initially saw the show before they got together, so before the Kate side of her personality was really fleshed out). And she's stronger than I initially realized.

These were fun, thanks for asking!

[huesofvioletandpurple]

A few days ago, the DRDT channel made public a “character song” playlist with sixteen songs inside (link). Naturally, considering this means that every character has a theme song of their own, I became Fucking Obsessed and tried matching each song to every character

Out of sixteen, I have exactly Four I am completely and absolutely confident in. That’s like, (checks notes), a quarter of the songs. I wish four was as neat of a number as three but unfortunately I do not get a choice in that regard. This would’ve been a quick post on which song I think matches with who + why but these guys made me recite an essay to myself as I paced around the room. So they deserve their own post <3.

Featuring: screenshots, hidden quotes (link) (required reading), and a shit ton of brainrot. explanations are below cut. tl;dr:

Rose is Cartoons

Charles is Asymptotic

Nico is Drawing Pins

Teruko is Good Grief

=

Rose Lacroix is Cartoons

[plain text: Rose Lacroix is Cartoons]

Track #4 is Cartoons by Louie Zong, and I have decided this is Rose’s track too. This is one many, many others have suspected as well. Starting it off with this first because it’s the simplest to explain: Rose is an artist, the lyrics are about art; or, at the very least, uses animation and drawing as metaphors.

Abstractions how I live my day to day, [...] Hard to explain, And to express, Forever just a work-in-progress.

The song in general uses drawing to explain feeling burnt out/not passionate about. Well. Your passions. Rose states herself that her work can only give her catharsis, considering none of it technically “hers” anymore.

[ID: Two screenshots of  Rose from chapter 2 episode 5. She is in the dressing room talking to Teruko, and has her hand on her neck as she looks downwards. Transcript: All I do is make paintings on other’s beck-and-call. It’s been so long that I don’t think I remember how to paint something original anymore. / There’s no value in the creations of someone who’s fallen so far from artistry. The only thing I can get out of art is catharsis. End ID]

Which is even more tragic, considering how she had huge ambitions as a child

[ID: One screenshot from the same episode. Rose now rests her chin in her fist. Transcript: I wanted to be a great painter when I was a kid, but things didn’t turn out that way. None of my original stuff ever sold well. End ID] 

There’s also these lyrics here

Can't hold a pencil or a thought. (Oh uh oh) Can't paint myself something I'm not.

Tryin' to make that ol' deadline, But all I've got are two dots and a line.

Rose knows she’s talented; in fact, I’d argue she’s one of the most secure about her talent than anyone in the class. She understands how useful it is in the killing game when paired with her photographic memory. In chapter 2, however, she hesitates, despite knowing this more than anyone.

[ID: Three screenshots of Rose from chapter 2 episode 8. She is sitting against a wall, knees drawn to her chest as she buries her face in her arms. Transcript of her dialogue: I don’t want to find out what kind of corpse Arei left. It’s easier for me to pretend nothing bad happened and forget about everything tomorrow. / That’s why I’m sitting here, wallowing in my own guilt, unable to do anything helpful. / You probably need me to draw a picture of a crime scene, like last time. That’s something only I can do that can help everyone. End ID]

She doesn’t want to use her talent that way—she can’t “paint herself something she’s not”, and she would “make the deadline”, but she can’t just will herself to simply Do Something when it’s draining and linked to her trauma from the previous case—and she’s more self conscious of it than anyone, that she only has “two dots and a line” —an upset face.

There’s also her hidden quote from the inspect elements of her character page: “In the end, all I can do is watch my wretched life go on.” I think it fits with the general theme of being incredibly discouraged and burnt out. “Forever a work in progress” indeed.

=

Charles Cuevas is Asymptotic

[pt: Charles Cuevas is Asymptotic]

I’ve chosen Asymptotic by (once more,) Louie Zong as Charles’ song. I could say it’s because of the mathsy theming and Charles is literally a fuckging chemist and leave it at that—I almost chose this as Min’s song because of how groovy and nerdy (affectionate) it was. I’m sorry to say it’s because of angst.

We’re aymptotic, Divided, by the smallest, slimmest line

Hey, so you know how Charles has an older brother ?

And you know how he didn’t know this until one of the motives told him ? So now there’s a good chance he won’t remember him fully for a long, long time ?

[you’re] Not imaginary. But it's complex! The limits are infinitely great

Charles now knows of this family member he has no recollection of. He most likely existed at some point—every other secret, though written to show the worst of the cast, are based on some sort of truth. I have a pet theory that his phobia of blood is connected to his brother, considering amnesia of a traumatic event is a common occurrence, and he doesn’t recall the origin of his haemophobia either, which opens up the possibility of them being linked. As long as he has this amnesia, any memory of his brother will always be far from his grasp.

As close as we could ever get, you'll be just out of reach

His hidden quote is about how it’s better to just forget; that means those events weren’t worth keeping.

if you forgot it, then it probably wasn’t important to begin with. none of those memories should ever be kept anyway.

In the context of the creator looking at the lyrics of the song and going “omg that’s blorbo from my brain”, the song refers to him as believing that he and his brother are asymptotes—lines that greatly resemble each other that will never reach, existing in different planes altogether.

=

Nico Hakobyan is Drawing Pins

[pt: Nico Hakobyan is Drawing Pins]

So.

Drawing Pins by Nothing but Thieves ! This song in particular fucking Stumped me. The lyrics are good, they slap, the Creator has fantastic taste in music; I just couldn’t figure out who the Hell it could be. Then, I had an epiphany.

This epiphany, by the way, is also probably one of my BIGGEST reaches. It completely redefines the song—even MORESO than how I treated asymptotic—and focuses hard on One aspect of Nico’s character.

(In my defense, it’s a really huge part.)

I don't feel like I belong Here at all

Tell me what you did it What you did it What you did it for 'Cause I can't figure it out

What do I have to do To be loved, loved by you

These are the lyrics in particular that made me go “wait a god damn Second”.

Firstly, not feeling like they belong.

[ID: Two screenshots of Nico from chapter 2 episode 6. They hold their arm and look nervously to the side in the first screenshot, then bury their face in the collar of their shirt in the next. Transcript: I thought you would laugh at me. I was worried you would pick up rocks and start throwing them at me or pick up clumps of mud and start throwing them at me. / I’m sorry, this never happens! Usually people call me abnormal or say that I’m just trying to be special, in a derogatory way. End ID]

Nico has been a frequent victim of bullying. Even though their current classmates are accepting, that just made them wary that something was off, because their past experiences stuck with them ! I feel like it should go unsaid that that, already on its own, is pretty fucking isolating !

[ID: a screenshot from the same episode. Nico is in the same pose. They say “And then they leave me out of everything and never talk to me again because there’s something wrong with me.” End ID]

So, self-explanatory line in the context of Nico. Cool. Cool. What am I seeing in the other lyrics, though ?

Tell me what you did it What you did it What you did it for 'Cause I can't figure it out

Okay, so. You know Nico’s hidden quote ? It’s “why should I own up for the mistakes someone else made?”, if you’re wondering.

There’s another reason they don’t feel like they belong.

There’s this running thread of Nico misunderstanding social cues, causing conflict and being scorned for it, but never being explained why those social cues exist, leading to them confused on why something so arbitrary is held to such importance. This causes this cycle that they’re just expected to escape, yet not being given the understanding or tools to do.

[ID: Three screenshots of Nico from the same episode. Nico looks down at their hands, then scratches their chin, then buries the bottom half of their face in their shirt. Transcript: If you’re having dinner and want someone to pass the salt, you can say, “Please pass the salt,”  or you can say “Give me the salt.” / One of those things is supposed to be more polite than the other, right? But why? They both meant the same thing. They’re just slightly different mixes of words. / It’s like that. I don’t understand why some mixes of words come off as ‘rude’ and some don’t, even if they mean tthe same thing. End ID]

I suspect the hidden quote is of Nico snapping, of not caring about being polite or nice anymore. They are already honest, which escalated their animosity with Ace, but this time they’re not caving if someone tells them that they’re being “too blunt” about it.

What do I have to do To be loved, loved by you

But it was never on purpose. They are not “blunt” or “brutally honest” to Ace or David whoever because they want to build that kind of reputation. I think these lyrics are suggesting a culmination of their arc, “What can I do to be loved ? Why should I apologise in place of the person who did hurt you ? Why am I constantly apologising for my existence ?

How do I win over people like you?”

I am fully aware that I may be reaching, but if you see the song as a representation of Nico’s rage and resentment that they had to “hold down by drawing pins”, you can at the very least see where I’m coming from.

=

Teruko is Good Grief

[pt: Teruko Tawaki is Good Grief]

Good Grief by Bastille, aka the last song on the playlist !

I’ve seen people say it’s a Whit song, or a Charles song, and I see it ! Death is very important in both of their arcs, and so is their way of mourning. However, I feel like it couldn’t be anyone but Teruko, and I also feel like there’s a very important part of her that people often forget.

[ID: Two screenshots from the episode 1 of the first chapter. They are lines of Teruko’s inner monologue. Transcript: His name, her face, it’s just barely out of reach. I claw and grasp through the dusty haze of my memories. / Choking on my nostalgia, I keep begging for you to come back. End ID]

[ID: A screenshot from chapter 1 episode 9 of Mai Akasaki turning around and smiling at the viewer. End ID]

Teruko mourns.

At the very least, she tries. She misses people. She grieves. That is what drives her distrust—she knows how much love hurts, and doesn’t want to feel that way.

[ID: A screenshot from chapter 2 episode 3. Teruko playing with succulents in her room as if they are dolls. One succulent has an eyepatch and knife, and the other has a knife and a sticky note, with a cowlick resembling Teruko’s. End ID]

Even in this silly moment of Teruko playing with cacti—it shows she didn’t WANT Xander to die ! She misses him. She wishes it could’ve gone better and blames herself for trusting—and notice how Xander in this scenario stands by her side.

Every minute and every hour I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more

She “chokes on her nostalgia” when she thinks of two unnamed people, “begging them to come back”. Will she ever admit it? Fuck no are you kidding me she couldn’t be emotionally vulnerable to save her Life. But Teruko constantly loses and is never given time or space to mourn (That is what I meant when I said she tries), and it’s led her to bottling and hiding them to further isolate herself, to prevent her from losing the ones she loves again.

In my thoughts you're far away And you are whistling the melody, Whistling the melody Crystallising clear as day Oh I can picture you so easily, Picture you so easily

Again, the two people are “far away”, she’s half forgotten after all. But Mai Akasaki’s image is as clear as day. Her memories are one of the only traces of Mai we have at all.

I could repeat myself over and over with pretty much every lyric of this song in particular, so I suggest seeking it out and listening to it yourself. I cannot stress enough how much this song SCREAMS Teruko to me

=

Overall, I’m fully ready to be wrong. I do not have a great track record when predicting story arcs. However, I have thought about this for a very intense bit of time, so this is to work as a way to get my thoughts out there.

I have a few hunches, like Shun-Ran for David or Jotaro’s theme for Xander, but both are just hunches, and neither are as strong as the four above.

Anyways, have a great day ! holy shit this is over 1.7K words excluding the image descriptions.

[vaguely-concerned]

I binged through all of Dragon Age: Absolution today and honestly I really really liked it! I was allowing myself only some very cautious optimism after watching the twitch premiere of the first episode, but freed from the need for infodumps and setting up the characters the rest of the show actually rapidly gets better from there (some pacing issues here and there excepted but hey they were given 6 episodes, I think they did pretty well considering those constraints)! If like me you HUNGER for, you YEARN for, you CRAVE more Dragon Age right the fuck now, this is not at all a bad thing to help keep some of that hunger down while we wait for the next game, and has a few loveable new characters to get into and some great action animation to boot.

More idle thoughts/reactions under the cut!

first and foremost I love Roland and Lacklon so much haha, a surprisingly well paced romance considering it mainly happens in quick background-ish moments! I'm especially interested in Roland's backstory, since he's very chill and openminded for what seems to be a decently well-trained/educated Orlesian? Lacklon being like 'I want to hold his hand and suck his dick 😔 fml' every time Roland did something cool in battle was just *chef's kiss* too, it was kind of smart to have their fight scenes double as foreplay as well on a writing level since they're arguably the least plot-important characters overall (though they and Qwydion are definitely the heart of the story as far as I'm concerned)

I understand why Miriam clung to Hira so much since she just lost literally everything in her life, good or bad, moments before and that relationship was the only time she had tasted anything like real love since her brother died, but girl... girl when people show you who they are, believe them. marry Qwydion instead you deserve so much better (Hira gave me the Bad Vibes right away from how she didn't respect anything Miriam said or expressed and kept pushing in ways that made me really uncomfortable, so I won't say I was shocked or anything lol.) There is the (??deliberate??) mirror of Hira hugging Miriam from behind in the blood magic dream and Qwydion coming up behind her in very much the same way to rest her hand on her shoulder in the real world afterwards, so I have hope maybe?

can you imagine Dorian watching shitshows like this go down every other week all around Tevinter and tearing at his perfectly sculpted hair because Andraste's tits if you motherfuckers would stop acting stereotypically for FIVE MINUTES! could any of you go take a PISS without resorting to blood magic! Dorian's job is a shit job and he's probably been doing it for a while by the time of Dreadwolf so y'know. get my son a drink

speaking of Qwydion, I am so glad for further support for my theory that vashoth born away from the Qun are actually some of the most well-adjusted people in all of Thedas. they've dodged the Qun from birth by definition, they don't seem terribly interested in the Chantry or grand politics of any kind, they don't have a caste system hanging over them, they can step on anyone who tries to mess with them even if they don't have magic... truly the only sane people running around out here

so you're telling me the Inquisition screws Fairbanks over no matter what you do, b/c either he dies or he's forced into Orlesian politics. Oh buddy I'm sorry we should've just let you frolic around in the Emerald Graves on your own you didn't deserve this

Poor Tessa. she is probably better off without him in the long run but that's a rough week

I was so excited to see Kirkwall again, I saw the horrific chain statues and went 'OH HELLHOLE MORE LIKE HELLHOME'. it's so grim and awful I miss it so much lol

meredith, huh. so uh. hawke really has failed at everything, pretty much, then. even the few people they did manage to kill to protect everyone didn't stay dead. I'm just waiting for the dragon they killed in the Bone Pit to come back and ravage the city as well now, just to top it off. celestial punching bag of thedas hawke. babyyyyyyyyy if it helps I still love you the most and so does your collection of bi weirdos found family

rezaren wasn't even that good a mage, as far as we can tell, so you have to wonder what the FUCK dorian's ancestor was pulling to have created this thing that he could barely control with half a dragon's worth of blood (and what someone like Dorian, who helped crack time like an egg in his student days sort of just to see if he could, it seems, could do with it if they didn't have like scruples or other pesky things like that. everything we see about tevinter magisters makes me more impressed with how comparatively not fundamentally shitty Dorian has managed to turn out (no wonder Bull is kind of impressed with him for having actual integrity, if this is the competition he's up against). can you tell I miss him lol)

I found it genuniely interesting how much rezaren and hira are thematic mirrors to each other and mutually cannot see it, right down to treating miriam ultimately as an object. same self-centered idiot, different hairstyles. what a scathing indictment of Tevinter high society that even Hira, who's family was notoriously progressive and trying to enact change, still treats people exactly the same way as the other magisters when push comes to shove.

thank u to Lacklon for pessimistic cynical bastard representation, he is right that that dragon is going to ravage the countryside and someone on the crew has to keep clear eyes for that sort of thing even when it's a downer

[go-to-the-mirror]

Every Time Mirrors are Mentioned in Welcome to Night Vale that is Halfway Relevant

[Plain text: "Every Time Mirrors are Mentioned in Welcome to Night Vale that is Halfway Relevant"]

Unabridged

Episodes featured: 19A, 26, 30, 33, 67, 87, 106, 108, 120, 122, 137, 148, 149, 160, 171, 209

Liveshows featured: "The Librarian," "The Investigators,"

CECIL: And now, a look at financial news. A fallow wheat field, grey sky, cut by black Vs of black birds. There is a child dragging a hatchet. His eyes cast down. His eyes tight. His eyes white and red and superfluous. He know not what he sees, but he knows what is there. A single black-wingéd beast, beak cracked, feathers rotting, alights roughly on the child's shoulder. They stop. The bird picks at the cartilage of the boy's ear, as if biting secrets into it. The boy groans, not unpleasantly. Heavy, slow clouds roll and rise, starkly contrasted against the flickering daguerreotype hills, which stoically keep the poisonous rains at bay. A sudden little river, partially walled by palsied shafts of grain, rolls by. The boy walks to it. He bends forward. His blank eyes stare into his reflection. Neither he nor his mirror knows the other is there. But the bird. The bird knows. The bird cackles. Or perhaps cries. Even the bird is uncertain. The boy takes a palm full of the dark water. Most of it runs out through his long, zig-zagging fingers. He licks the remainder from his dusty skin. A sound. Like thunder. Like drums. Like steps. The boy turns and hurls his hatchet behind him. The bird flies up and away. There is a hideous thump. The boy knows not what he has hit, but that it has been wounded. He waits for its retort. This has been financial news.

(Episode 19A - The Sandstorm)

CECIL: Maybe you should try paying more attention when you're at home. Or better yet, destroy all of your mirrors. As my mother used to tell me: "Someone's going to kill you one day, Cecil, and it will involve a mirror. Mark my words, child." and then she would stare absently through my eyes until I giggled. I miss her so much. 

(Episode 26 - Faceless Old Woman)

CECIL: McDonald’s wants to remind you that the most important meal of the day is Breakfast. So why would you let a morning go by without staring deeply into the mirror until you no longer recognize the face staring back at you, mimicking your every gesture, mocking your every movement.

(Episode 30 - Dana)

TEENAGE CECIL: My mom seems really proud of me too. She hid from me for three days, the longest ever! And she’s covered all the mirrors in my house. I’m not sure why, but I think it must be because of pride. Being proud does all sorts of things to a...person. Uh, sorry, got distracted. That weird movement is back. It’s closer now.

TEENAGE CECIL: Interning is going great! Mom is gone. Leonard is super nice to me. My brother is gone too. Family, right? I think I’m learning a lot at the station. All of the mirrors in my house are uncovered now. Not sure who did that. I’m standing in front of the hall mirror right now. Am I changed? Am I becoming an adult? I look more grown, I think, more professional. Leonard said if I work hard, maybe I’ll be a radio presenter myself some day. Leonard said he once was smaller too, but that he is larger now, that everything is larger, that everything in the universe is growing to towering sizes, but all at once, all in unison, so no one notices and it is all the same relative to itself. Leonard lolls his tongue out of his thick purple lips. Leonard hisses. Being an intern is great. That flickering movement is everywhere now. Especially looking in this mirror. I see the flickering movement and I know. I know it. I think the radio station is fun. I think the radio station is hidden. I think the radio station is like a dark planet, lit by no sun. I think, therefore I soon won’t be. I’m looking in a mirror. The mirror is not covered. The flickering movement is just behind me. I- [He screams. There is gurgling. A body falls to the floor. Tape hiss continues. The tape shuts off. End teenage voice]

CECIL: No matter! I’m taking the tape, just now and I’m [GRUNTS] crushing it into little pieces. None of us have to think about it again. I’ll just double check that the mirror in the station bathroom is covered as usual and then that will be that. Done. Forgotten. 

(Episode 33 - Cassette)

CECIL: The City Council warned that the mess left from Leonard Burton’s death is likely to draw Street Cleaners and that we should all take shelter. Cover your mirrors. Shade your eyes. Stay indoors and mourn. Stay indoors and mourn.

(Episode 67 - [Best Of?])

CECIL: Item: Big Ricos Pizza is looking for a new cashier. Must have retail experience and be good at not talking if they know what’s good for them. No funny business. No secret wheat speakeasies. Why would you even bring that up? Who have you been talking to? To apply, look at yourself in the mirror for a long time, until your face no longer seems to be your own.

(Episode 87 - The Trial of Hiram McDaniels)

CECIL: I was so frightened, but still I looked into the washroom. He was standing in front of a mirror, looking right at himself. I never look into those things. Or at least I haven't in a long long time.  "I think the radio station is fun," he said. "I think the radio station is hidden. I think the radio station is like a dark planet, lit by no sun. I think, therefore I soon won’t be," he said.  I wanted to cry out to warn him. My mother told me to stay away from mirrors. And I knew he was in danger. I opened my mouth and tried to step into the room, but I could not speak, could not move forward.  "I’m looking in a mirror," he said.  "The mirror is not covered," he said. "Stop. Don't look into the mirror," I tried to say. But nothing came out of my mouth, only spit and inaudible wheeze. Tears stung my eyes. I waved frantically, trying to catch his attention. "The flickering movement is just behind me," he said. And then he looked right at me in the mirror. His eyes grew wide and wet. He said "I-. He said again "I-" and then he choked. Then he screamed. Then I screamed, only again no sound came out. He fell to the floor, and for a moment I remembered. I remembered blue lights and blood in my throat and a dark planet lit by no sun. And then I forgot it, or at least what it looked like, only that it was. Or never was. Or still is. His wallet was no longer in my studio. His...my driver’s license was no longer in my hand. My familiar teenage intern was no longer lying on the ground. The mirror he was looking into is now shattered into thousands of intersecting cracks like parched desert dirt. I approached the mirror, hoping to see a face I knew. A young man's face I just barely remember. But I only saw a multiplicity of me, a man divided, unrecognizably, under razor sharp lines. And behind me a glowing slash in the bathroom wall.

(Episode 106 - Filings)

CECIL: "Better not look in the mirror," Cal said as he nervously simulated the sound of laughter. A dribble of blood ran down his chin and onto his chest.

(Episode 108 - Cal)

KEVIN: Jason and Falisha wanted their friends to know they were happy, so they began to practice smiling in the mirror, but even they couldn't see a change in their faces. Plus, mirrors were upsetting because of all the people who would gather behind them in the reflection but that weren't actually there when they turned around to face them.

KEVIN: Their long house was a long pit. And every single mirror in their home was gone, along with the ghastly figures who gathered in the reflections. 

(Episode 120 - All Smiles' Eve)

CECIL: Nazr did not see Barks Ennui. But he was not without his own troubles. He would find, some evenings, that when he looked in the mirror there were two of him. One of him sitting behind the other. He would stand and the second reflection would stand too. It would follow all of his movements from behind his primary reflection. This went on for days. Then, one night, he looked in the mirror and there was only one of him. He sighed, feeling some relief to the tension that had been with him so long as to become his new normal. And that is when, in the mirror, his second reflection stepped into the room, followed by Frances Donaldson. Nazr whirled. The room he was in was empty. He looked back in the mirror. There was his own face, terrified. And behind that, on the bed, there was himself again, with Frances. The two of them were kissing, passionately. He watched himself kiss. And then his reflection and the Frances in the mirror stopped kissing and looked up at him, with startled faces. They stayed frozen that way, and he stayed frozen too. After several moments, the mirror couple smiled. Their smiles got wider and wider, and then they were both dead, blood covered and sprawling at irregular angles. And then they were alive again and smiling at him. He shouted and stumbled back from the mirror. From then on, he took to covering his mirrors, and that worked for a few days, but then one day he came home to find himself in his bedroom, already sitting in front of the covered bedroom mirror. The him that was in his bedroom looked up at him who had just entered with wide eyes and a yawning mouth, and Nazr (who believed himself to be the real Nazr) turned and walked out his house. He checked into a motel and decided to stay there for awhile.

(Episode 122 - A Story of Love and Horror, Part 2: "Spire")

LAUREN: These shadows don't even have faces. We cannot discern their intentions or feelings. They move around in quick jerks and starts, flickering in and out of our vision, sometimes standing just behind us while slowly tilting their heads. And unless you're looking in a mirror, there's no way you can even see that. 

(Episode 137 - The Mudstone Abyss, Part 3)

LEONARD BURTON: Let me describe to you the shape of Cecil Palmer. He is a line of leafless mesquite trees. He is a glass factory. He is golf ball-sized hail. He has a voice like distant highway traffic. He loves coffee and handshakes. He wears tight clothing and has never once worked with modeling clay. He covers mirrors with cloth and has an irrational fear of glowing lights beneath locked doors in dark hallways.  You cannot know any of this because Cecil is my vision, not yours. He is real, all the same. He is to be my replacement when I retire. But he does not exist. So I can never retire. I am your permanent host.

(Episode 148 - The Broadcaster)

CECIL: I can see myself in their reflective face. I... I do not like this. I do not like this at all. Please go. Please leave. I cannot. I... I am covering this window with a sheet. I do not like this mirror. I do not like it one bit. No. 

(Episode 149 - The General)

CECIL: ... [somber] and *that* is what I saw in the mirror that day, and why I do not like to go near mirrors ever. 

(Episode 160 - The Weather)

CECIL: Do you ever stare at yourself for so long in the mirror that you no longer understand what you look like? Is this the same effect as thinking about someone you miss so much that you forget the shape of their face? Why would you do that? Why would you refuse to maintain order? Are you refusing? Or are you a victim of your own mind? Do brain cells dictate souls? Is thought matter? Does thought matter? Who can say? Can the person looking back at you from the mirror tell you the answer? Just because you can see a person, does that mean that person exists?  Is it you you are looking at? Or is it someone else?

CECIL: Basically, why do I know I am me? How many times have I seen myself in the mirror? Is it bad that the answer is rarely? Shouldn’t we all be afraid of mirrors? Or is it just me? How many times, in a fit of dissociation, do we see someone else behind us? Are you, too, too afraid to turn around? Do you really want to challenge the veracity of your eyes? Do you think disbelief in death will make it disappear? Are awareness and manifestation one and the same? So, what did I see in the mirror today? Don’t we all see the same thing? Isn’t it a person who looks exactly like ourselves? And weren’t they making the same physical gestures? And behind that person, in the reflection, did you not also see, just over your shoulder, a pair of eyes? The curve of a head? And did you notice how that head was human in shape but maybe only a third the size?

CECIL: Who is behind you in the mirror? Or what is behind you? Should I speak in present or past tense? Is the face there? Or is the face gone now? Are you no longer at the mirror? Do you feel safer? Why do you assume that because you aren’t looking in the mirror right now that the tiny face and spiny digits are not still behind you?

CECIL: Are you thinking about it? Are you starting to forget exactly what it looks like? Do you want to go to the mirror again? Do you want to stare and stare at it until you can comprehend what it is?

CECIL: What if we went to the mirror together? If we don’t feel alone in our feelings, could we conquer our fears? Are we in agreement, you and I? What are you even looking at? Is your focus drifting to your shoulder? Can you not do that? Can you resist the urge? What will staring directly into your terror accomplish?

CECIL: When was the last time you saw your mother? It’s been since childhood, hasn’t it? Didn’t she warn you about mirrors? Didn’t she tell you they would be your demise? Or was that just a popular bedtime story?

CECIL: What did your mother tell you about swing sets? What did she say to you when you yelled to her for help? Did she lean over your sobbing face and ask you: “Why are you crying when you don’t even exist?” Did she tell you again about the mirror?

CECIL: Did you figure it out? Could you see past your own mental inventions? Who out there looked beyond the long, gape-jawed figure and its inexplicable whines? Did you see the table? There in the mirror image of your house, did you see the table? You hadn’t noticed the table before, had you?

CECIL: Why was the table only in the mirror? Why isn’t it real?

CECIL: What’s inside the drawer of the rickety table in the mirror? What other uncanny discoveries await you if you could just break through? Is it as simple as breaking through?

CECIL: Do you want to know what’s in the drawer below the table? Shouldn’t it be as easy to obtain as a lightweight, wool button up coat, all black? But nothing easy ever is, is it? How do you get to a table that’s right in front of you, but only visible in a mirror?

CECIL: Are you only concentrating on the table now? And you’re sure it only exists in the mirror? You double checked? Do you want to know what’s inside the drawer on the front of that table? Are you willing to break something? Are you willing to break the mirror, yes, but so much more? Are you willing to go to a place from which you cannot return? Are you willing to learn things you cannot unlearn? Do you have a hammer? Or if not, can you find something heavy that you can lift? Will you smash the mirror? Will you do it quickly? Why are you hesitating? Have you let your comfortability lapse into carelessness? Why did you take your eyes off the creature on your neck? Did you see the blood or feel the pain first? Is it tearing into your flesh? Is that why you’re screaming? Can you still break the mirror? Are you losing consciousness? Are you? Are you? Are you?

CECIL: If you look into the mirror you just smashed do you see that the creature is gone? Cool, right? But isn’t it strange that all about you on the floor are shards of the mirror you shattered, yet in front of you, the mirror remains, fully intact? Strange? Or scary? Wouldn’t you think that the mirror being simultaneously broken and unbroken is strange, while the fact that you have no reflection is scary? Is that true though? Do you have a reflection? Do you see yourself? On the floor of the mirror’s world? Is your body crumpled on the floor like a wet towel? Is your lower jaw hanging open because you died screaming, or because of gravity? Do you have a blanket of some sort? Why don’t you cover that mirror up? Why don’t you cover all the mirrors, in fact? While you are walking about your home, do you notice the antique table by the door, with its tarnished, yet ornate, brass bulb knob? Was that table always there? Did you enter the mirror world? Or were you always in the mirror world? What else is different around you?

CECIL: Now what? Will you cover the mirrors and sweep the floor and pretend it never happened? Will this prevent it from happening again? Are awareness and manifestation one and the same?

(Episode 171 - Go to the Mirror?)

CECIL: Whatever the Distant Prince keeps behind the Narrow Place has left me hollow and shambling. Less and less of me. This time quite literally. When I looked again, I did not have a nose. It is quite upsetting to see your own face but without a nose. Think about this now. Think about looking in the mirror and seeing your face, but the nose is gone. So you will understand why I vomited in the street. And this other me, he vomited too, for exactly the same amount of time, stopping precisely when I did.

(Episode 209 - The Black Coat)

FACELESS OLD WOMAN: I am less good at being seen, but I am working on that using a system of whistles and mirrors. CECIL: Huh. Mirrors.

("The Librarian")

EARL HARLAN: Oh yes! Yes, I will wake up that morning, and I will stare at myself in the mirror repeating, “You can do this, Earl. You can do this, Earl. You can do this, Earl.” Until my reflection says, “You’re right.” And then we’ll brush each others’ teeth, and trim each others’ mustaches, and comb each others’ hair… CECIL: Awwww! EARL HARLAN: …and then step through the mirror and once again switch places in each others’ mirrored world for the day.

("The Investigators")

JEFFREY: Yeah, yeah. Yeah turns out most people are afraid of what they are, so now I’m also terrified of mirrors and reflective surfaces, so…

("ALL HAIL")

[luck-and-larceny]

Meeeeee

This was a nice thing to be tagged in! I have not been feeling great the past few days and my brain is juuust starting to work again. Answer questions about myself? Way easier than answering character questions right now! Thank you for the tag @thefreelanceangel! 1. Are you named after anyone?

Yes and no and kinda? Good answer? Ok. I'll move on then. Just kidding. Time to ramble more! My first name is Rhiannon (Ree-ann-in). I'm named after the Fleetwood Mac song if that means anything to anyone. But my mom liked it so much not -just- because she was a musicophile (she is definitely that) but also because she liked the Welsh mythology. My middle name, which I won't put here so that I can maintain my ever so slight air of mystery, was in honor of my aunt on my mom's side and my uncle on my dad's side who both have variations of the name.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Uh. I cry all the time so asking me to remember specifically when isn't fair. I teared up last night after watching the episode of The Toys That Made Us on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. ^^;

3. Do you have kids?

Like @thefreelanceangel, I've got pets! No kids for a multitude of reasons. That can be someone else's journey to go on.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Nah. Never.

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

I used to really enjoy playing soccer, pickle ball, and tennis. I'm far too out of shape to be good at any of those anymore. Now my favorite sport to play is "I walked up and down the stairs to do laundry so, you know, I'm killing it."

6. What is the first thing you notice about other people?

I don't know! I think I take in the whole -motions with hands to indicate the whole everything- first. Not in a nitpicky, judgmental, dumb way (god, then you could do that back to ME and I really would prefer you don't). Just the first thing I notice is the person? And the vibe? Like an immediate: Do I feel comfortable? Am I nervous? Do they seem nervous? Do they seem nice? Oh god, do I seem nice? If I talk to them, how likely are they to want to punt me across the room? Heh. Is that a good opening line that would make us both feel less nervous? "Hi! Nice to meet you. You're not likely to punt me across the room are you?" I may have just given away that I am a very introverted, anxious, and peculiar person above. That's Ok. Please don't punt me.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Why not both? Depends on my mood! Well. And I suppose the exact kind of scary or happy movie, too.

8. Any special talents?

Ummmmmm... I don't think I'm terrible at writing or singing. I could be a lot better at both, of course, but I could be a lot worse too! Are those boring? I'll try to think of a more interesting answer. I can sing every song backwards, flawlessly, and completely without error. That sounds like a special talent, right? I mean, it possibly (definitely) isn't true, but maybe it's more interesting to imagine.

9. Where were you born?

This reads like a "Just curious, what's the answer to one of the security questions you're likely to get asked frequently?" I was born in the backseat Of a Mustang On a cold night In the hard rain And the very first song that the radio sang Was "I won't be home no more." -Old 97s

10. Do you have any hobbies?

Changing the words to songs to put my cats' names in them, making up entirely new songs to sing at my cats, singing entirely made up songs about whatever task I am currently doing ("Singing while I type about my-se-e-e-e-elf. Singing cuz this quiz ain't about no one e-e-e-else.") ((<-- I didn't say the songs were any -good-) I write. I play video games. I watch a whooole lot of YouTube. I play tabletop RPGs. I daydream constantly about a vast array of other hobbies I want to take up but haven't yet.

11. Do you have any pets?

I do! One big ole fluffy black cat. One lil'r, sleek black cat. One old man leopard gecko. And maybe all the crickets that he hasn't eaten.

12. How tall are you?

5′ 2. The doctor has tried to tell me I'm actually 5' 1 and a half. But the doctor is obviously wrong. You really just can't trust doctors.

13. Favorite Subject in School:

Grade school and high school? Art and English. College: Cultural Anthropology and Linguistics. Though, to be honest, I only really got into Cultural Anthropology in the first place because the professor was really attractive. >.> I later learned to genuinely like the subject though! Despite my social anxiety, I -really- love learning about people and culture and I'm crazy about language.

14. Dream job?

Something that allows me to be myself and celebrates it! So anything that allows me the creative space to write/sing/act/engage with others in my full exuberance would be amazing. I'd really like to own a cat cafe. Or maybe a bookstore with a kitty. I'd just really like jobs that would allow me space to either feel wildly creative or wildly at peace.

15. Eye Color?

Brown. Brownish-green. Hazel, I guess! Or whatever color the oil sheen on my constantly icky glasses makes my eyes. -_- I swear, I can't get these things clean.

TAGGING: @herowren, @faustinebellamy, @argentrenard, @the-wanted-man, @lettersnorth, @unabashedrebel, @damienward-ffxiv, @irascibleblackguard and everyone!

[hurlumerlu]

As usual, badly put together thoughts on Playboyy episode 5 under the cut :

My main thought on this episode is how heavy on melancholy it was. It was a lot less funny and dramatic and a lot more, idk. contemplative ? or at least that's how it felt to me. Also a lot more unsettling, we are definitely not playing anymore. Funnily enough, this gravitas is pretty close to what I hoped for when I started Playboyy, but now that I actually have it I feel wrongfooted and unsure. Which is great ! I've always enjoyed shows where I didn't know what I was in for before starting an episode (perhaps a little too much) and I appreciate the unease.

Related to the above : I like that the Nuth & Phop scenes are packed with tender moments (the piggyback, the very begining of the shaving scene, "haha i'm halucinating him :D/i'm right there", waking up in each other's arms) amidst the constant current of dread. It helps lay out the reasons Phop comes back (drugs aside) on an emotional level, and it also makes the peaks in tension that much stronger because you keep waiting for the other shoe to drop and because it could be sweet ! it could. it's good suspense.

Honnestly the fact that Nuth has been so strongly established as suspect n°1 when we're only in episode 5 makes me really doubt that he is, for lack of a better term, our Big Bad. Which does not mean I think of him as an innocent little sweetheart (don't pay people in drugs is imo a pretty low bar and he couldn't even clear that) and he absolutely had something to do with Nant's troubles, but I feel like there is something else at play. Could be way off though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Unpopular opinion probably but I worry for him too. He does not seem well ! He also doesn't seem to have much of a support system ! If this all ends badly - if it already has, for Nant, because of him - I don't think I'll be able to shake off the feeling that it all could have been avoided.

Please don't kill Phop please don't kill Phop please don't kill Phop

Other characters I would like to not see die are Nont (very much so), Soong, and Jump. (and Puen because I play favourites) the others are fair game for me not because I don't like them but because I can see multiple narrative payoffs for their death. It all depend on how it's done. (honnestly I can also imagine narrative payoffs for Nont's death, and worse endings for him than death, but. uh. I'll be gutted for sure)

Since I mentioned Soong - I told myself I would not gripe about this but I am absolutely going to gripe about this : how did Nont convince him to drink/take drugs with him ? Did he think this was Nant ? it was all very weird and I did not get how we got for point a to point c. You could argue it doesn't matter but it's the kind of things that matters to me ! Anyway, moving on :

Soong keeps having a bad time. And I'm sure many would say he deserved it, but as I'm not generally interested in characters getting their just deserts (unless it's funny) I'm still mostly feeling kinda sad for the guy, in an awkward sort of way

I'm sorry I said Nont was not good at threatening people. turns out he's just not good at threatening people with sharp objects. He's disturbingly into it when it comes to fire though ! (but also Nont baby you're gonna burn your thumb)

Zouey & Teena were very cute. So where Zouey & First trying to investigate Soong.

You know who isn't cute ? Porche. I want to sit that boy down and have a loooong talk with him. It probably wouldn't help but someone has to try.

Anyway we knew that already but the fact that none of these rich little fuckers where willing to help Nant out when they could easily have pooled their money... with friends like these, honnestly.

This may have been a wake up call for Captain ? wait and see I guess.

Captain and Puen being on good enough terms that Captain told him everything about the fake sex tape is interesting. I'm still really interested in their dynamic !

Look. Puen was so charming (and charmed) all episode and Aob was so prickly, it's hard for me not to get into the relationship that is dangled in front of us (and I didn't try). However everytime I watch this series I think of Love Conquers All (2006) and its ironic-ass title, so I look at every single relationships promised by this show with doubt and mistrust

SPEAKING OF WHICH : lmao @Prom and his little evil smile. control your face, sir.

But I still believe he didn't know why Nant was missing, so I wonder what he was smiling evily for. Plenty of options to chose from though ! Maybe he just wants to get back at the ex-playboyys for asserting their independence, which would be bad enough, but I doubt that's all. Oh well, we'll see !

Last thought : I could have sworn I saw the bottom of a brazilian flag in one of Nuth and Poph scene but I can't find it again :(

[eisforeidolon]

Question: I love the episode where The Trickster puts Dean and Sam in different tv shows, and is there a tv show you would like to be in. For example, I would love to see you in the Youtube talk show Hot Ones were you get and eat extremely spicy chicken wings? I would love to see how far you come.

Jensen: [nonverbally reacts to last line] Uh... I have said for several years now, before the show got big?

Question: You know it?

Jensen: Oh! When Hot Ones was just a Youtube show, and nobody had heard of it and they were having, like, random people on it? I was like - Jared and I - we were still shooting Supernatural, I was like, 'Oh my gosh, we've gotta do this show!' And they invited us both to come on the show. And we couldn't work it out with production.

Audience: Aww.

Jensen: But now the show's so popular that, like, major A list movie stars are doing it, I don't think they're gonna have us on anymore. But I will say that the guy, oh, what's his name -

Question: Sean Evans?

Jensen: Sean! I will say that Sean - so Jeff, Jeffrey Dean Morgan was, he did an episode during COVID. And so he had to do it via Zoom, but I was talking to Jeff about it and I was like, 'Dude, you did Hot Ones! I'm so jealous.' And he was like, 'Are you serious? You wanna do that show?' I was like, 'I would LOVE to do that show. I wanna do that show so bad!' And he's like, 'Sean loves Supernatural, like, he would totally have you guys on.' I'm like, 'Really?!' And then I started watching the show and I was like - Oh, well, like Charlize Theron is doing it. And there's just too many big names, who was the latest person - there's like huge names that do it now.

Question: Yeah, yeah, really huge names. Pedro Pascal -

Jensen: Alright, enough with Pedro Pascal, alright! I've had about enough of Pedro Pascal. The guy is - he's too awesome, and I wanna be him. Did you guys watch This is Us - or The Last of Us? This is Us [laughs at himself] - good show, though. Shout out to Sterling and my boy Justin. Yeah, The Last of Us, so that started floating around Hollywood a couple of years ago, and I was like, 'Alright, who do I have to kill to get this role?'

Audience member: Pedro Pascal!

Jensen: [nods] And it became very clear ... that his name was Pedro Pascal. And because I am a law abiding citizen, I did not kill him. And instead I watched The Last of Us on my iPad, with hate in my eyes.

Audience member: Did you take a selfie?

Jensen: What?

Audience member: Of the hate!

Jensen: All the hate?

Audience member: Did you take a picture of the hate in your eyes?

Jensen: Oh, did I take a picture, did I take a selfie of the hate in my eyes? No, but I can show it to you right now. It looked a little something like this [goes through an extended series of facial expressions flat/annoyed/enjoyment/flat/enjoyment/etc.]

Audience member: What just happened?

Jensen: What just happened? I enjoyed his performance and I got mad at myself, that's what happened. That's what that looks like. God bless you, Pedro, you're killin it. Good for ya. But that's the thing, too, in this industry - am I jealous? Mmm. Yeah. Envious? Sure. But I'm also really happy for him. Like, good for him. He's killing it right now, that's so great. And I think that that's a really cool thing about this industry is that I think the people that really get it, they aren't upset if they're not getting a role. They're happy for the person that gets to succeed, because there's always going to be different stories, there's always going to be other roles. But, you know, sure would I have loved to play that role? Yeah. But I would have done it much differently, and it wouldn't have been what it turned out to be and I think it turned out to be really great. And so for that I'm - I'll just keep my eyes out for the next one, you know?

[whenthechickencry]

Umineko EP2. Replay Part 3

Pretty sure the bet that is being subtly referred to here is winning the epitaph... and therefore how they feel about how Kinzo won that bet.

Pretty much most conversations between Beatrice and Shkannon are very sad in context.

It is interesting considering how strong Beatrice is portrayed in these earlier chapters that Kanon can kill her! Wonder why he would have that specific power...

Piece Battler and Meta Battler are clearly mixing up together here but uh, you really could be doing a lot more stuff here than just sleep around you know?

Gets the trick correct but pivots as soon as he has to accuse Rosa, classic Battler.

Funny how there are a lot of lines that let slip that they know Kinzo is dead... why would she have someone else's will if that other person is alive?

Would be great if you told her your problems then!

R07's roundabout way of explaining Braun Tubes before he had to change plans for ep3 and do it directly lol.

Maria dropping some important hints about Beatrice's existence here!

Rosa's really in denial about having met Beatrice 2, huh?

Other than begging Shkannon to do it, I guess. Though I guess she tries to deny to herself that she knows what's going on at least on some level.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD LOOK INTO THAT GEORGE

When I was younger is a very interesting line - showing something changed that would impact her dreams.

The acceptance that they have to "make people cry" is pretty sad... they obviously feel bad about lashing out at Jessica but if they didn't they would have had to disappoint them later...

The way this keeps happening so often is pretty funny. It's like r07 shouting that Kanon isn't physical (in these contexts at least)

When you first read this it's easy to just mindlessly fall into the script and go 'Go Shannon show the witch you are better than her', but it really hurts in context where she's basically saying "It's okay if I kill myself, I already was the happiest I could be in my relationship anyways since it's doomed after this."

This dialogue almost feels straight out of Hanyuu in Saikoroshi, to be honest. Another way in which r07 uses your familiarity with his work in order to guide you in a certain way! Here he is using it to make you blindly agree with Shannon instead of thinking about what this conversation really means.

Kyrie you goated the conversation here!

They repeat that line a couple times in early episodes... guess Team Yasu was firm on not confirming whether Kinzo had children with the original Beatrice, which makes sense, I suppose, it's a big clue.

Kumasawa's like "Stop trying to destroy a child's dreams, Battler!"

Maria's just right here, though, Battler won't get anywhere by just thinking what's the optimal path when that's not what Beatrice is doing.

This reaction I think contrasts her earlier conversation where she assured George that meeting together was magic - She has given up on having George understand her now.

George can clearly tell something is wrong with Shannon here but doesn't look into it further, as is usual for George by now.

Shannon perks up when she hears that it's the same thing as marriage for George. because she has no plans of surviving this day so her regrets at not being able to marry get alleviated.

I know R07 has said George would accept Shannon as she is but to be honest I am not in perfect agreement here - I think he would try to but all his future plans are about having children with Shannon. I can't imagine his dreams being broken like that wouldn't affect their relationship at all...

George, I absolutely can't blame you for saying this you had no way to know but STOP

The argument Yasu is having with themselves on this conversation is "Is it okay for me to get into relationships with others even though me being furniture means the relationship will certainly be destroyed" and the thing that really hurts me is how no side ever argues that the relationship won't be destroyed; No part of Yasu considers that a possibility.

Interesting how it's Piece-Beato giving this conversation, hinting that Beatrice's relationship with Battler is something that exists outside of meta as well.

Seeing everyone prostrate themselves to Beatrice here is pretty funny and shows how easy it is to get everyone along with your plan for a couple gold bars.

I wonder what crazy theories about loopers people had when they first played this game, sadly personally I was like a decade late to early reactions! So far Shkannon, Beatrice and Kinzo have shown memories of early loops (because they are all in some way fictional, obviously) but I can imagine people having insane theories based on that.

[thesoulofasurvivor]

The Last of Us Episode 9 FINALE + season review

this entire post is of strictly my personal opinions only, just a disclaimer. I only speak for myself. Another very entertaining episode, there are many scenes that hold so true to the game and those scenes I appreciate.

But I gotta be honest. I'd be lying if I gave Season 1 more than at best a 6/10 rating.

SPOILERS BENEATH THE CUT!! long post warning ahead

Episode 9: we get the giraffe scene, it's very lovely and so goddamn sweet. I love the interactions we finally get between Ellie and Joel, just pure Ellie and Joel content finally, just the two of them with nothing interrupting, plus, we got to see Ellie's mom; it was so great to see Ashley on screen! And wow, they actually blessed us with one single infected. But again... Boy was this ever ridiculously rushed. They spent $500,000 on making a bloater suit and used it once for 3 minutes. Ellie is telling jokes and bam so suddenly the screen goes black and they're already in the hospital. It just happened so goddamn fast I could physically feel the rushing time limit of the episode that was only 42 minutes. Don't lie to yourself. It says 44 minutes but we all know that intro sequence is at least a minute and a half long lol 😂 even my mom was like ?? oh uh, okay... everybody is dead okay, show over. Even SHE acknowledged how rushed this was. The hospital scene was, despite my criticism, done well, it was great. They ended the show how they ended the game, I believe that was beautiful! Though I do admit, I wish we got a glimpse of Abby mourning her father to give the audience that feeling of, "omg, what's going to happen next?"

I support Joel's decision. I don't care what anybody says. The Fireflies wanted to murder a 14 year old child for an "I think," they wanted to kill her thinking they could make a cure from ONE try at it? Nah. That's not how it works. There are many ways an intelligent doctor could have gone about it to keep her alive while running tests and experiments. Vaccines and cures and shit aren't made from ONE try. Killing the person with the antibodies you want is literally so dumb and no one can ever convince me otherwise. #TeamJoel. I love you Marlene but oof. They literally said it's like... Cells or some shit. They can just extract the stuff without killing her. I dunno, I just think it's dumb.

Anyways, I am not going to say anything more about tonight's episode. Why did I rate the show 6/10? I don't hate it, I don't think it's terrible or bad. But I do feel very disappointed and like it was severely lacking. It could have been so much more, clearly, because what we did get is in fact absolutely amazing.

Their biggest enemy is time. They rushed it, and they rushed it badly. They cut corners, they basically strictly took cutscenes from the game and that was the show, which I personally believe is just... Lazy. The story is more than just the game's cutscenes. We get so much wholesome content that happens during the gameplay. Like Ellie's admittance to a fear / dislike of fairies!

The acting? Goddamn, flawless, the actors' performances were amazing and nobody fell short. The visuals? The scenery? The infected? Absolutely gorgeous, breathtaking. They DO stay true to the game for so much of the show, some things they executed better than the game, the music, the audios, it's all so well done.

But the rushing really brings it down for me. They rushed it just far too much, and they made the world so safe it barely feels like a "zombie" apocalypse (and I say "zombie" loosely because the infected aren't such). Joel and Ellie travel hundreds of miles and... I guess just, barely any trouble whatsoever. Marlene asking how they travelled "all this way" and making it sound like some big feat? Really wasn't earned in the show in my opinion as it was in the game. Of course they made it all that way, there was very little trouble along the way.

The infected feel very unimportant. I'm left asking... What's the point of Ellie's immunity? What's the point in the Fireflies quest to find a "cure" ?? The infected aren't really much of a threat, it seems pretty easy to avoid them altogether. I've seen people calling The Last of Us an apocalypse that would be relatively easy to survive based on the show due to the fact that you just rarely ever seem to encounter infected or other hostile survivors.

And yes I can understand they seem to have made the infected "more dangerous" and they don't want to "flood every episode with infected," but there's a difference between overdoing it and... Just having zero infected altogether. If you search up, they say over 60% of the population is either dead or infected... Well in the show it seems like they're just all dead rather than infected.

They changed the lore of the game, they changed it completely, and then did absolutely nothing with the new lore. I still honestly barely know anything about the new lore because they really didn't show us anything about it. Not once, NOT ONCE, did we see any character enter a building or any location with the living fungus tendrils where they have to avoid touching it or whatever.

The show is just far too rushed for me to give it anything more than a 6/10. They seriously missed a lot, they cut way too many corners and they made the world seem too safe, and in my opinion, they reduced the threat levels of the infected. Who cares if they are more "crazy" if you barely ever see them?

I really enjoyed it, it was entertaining and it was nice to have those moments of pointing at the screen and going "omg that's from the game!" and if they release it on dvd, guess what? I'm buying it. But it was rushed. Too many cut corners. World is too safe. They went from one extreme to the other; too many infected to practically zero infected... There is infact this thing called middle ground, but I personally feel they just skipped to the extreme of practically zero and that was that.

I absolutely do recommend the show. But... Do I recommend it over just watching the game on youtube? Probably not... If someone said, hey I wanna know the story but I will only watch the show or watch the game on youtube, what one do I watch? I'd tell them to watch the game on youtube, and then if they love it enough, THEN watch the show.

Thank you to everybody who actually reads these! Again, all of this is personal opinion of me myself and I, I speak for nobody but myself.

[missmiseryguts]

I've avoided watching II17 because I heard it was... um... y e a h..

i thought I prepared myself (apparently not) for what I was about to watch (again, APPARENTLY NOT)

6 minutes in and I was already shaking wtffffff

Have you watched it yet, and what was your opinion on it?

Oh boy. II17... I have a weird opinion on II in general, but I OKAY. I DIDN'T LIKE IT THAT MUCH. DON'T COME AT ME. Some things were great! Others made me want to tear my hair our... Spoilers below! Also this has a lot of complaining so uh. Don't maul me 💀🙏 💕

It had some BANGER moments, but some things fell flat. The character deaths felt too. Fast. IMO IMO IMO because before they were slow and suspenseful and well spaced out, but they felt oddly placed and quick.. Too quick, like test tubes death??? Me and my friend didn't like it HELP... Also I got kind of confused on WHY Paintbrush lived??

Fan died apparently for knowing too much, but Paintbrush now also knows too much because Fan told them everything. Then Lightbulb came over and warned Paintbrush as to where Knife n Suitcase where but LIGHTBULB Died, and Paintbrush didn't?? They literally have so much info now so why didn't Cobs just kill THEM too??? He clearly could!! He killed Fan and Test Tube and Lightbulb why not them??? But that might be a personal squick..

Also is it just me or was Fans theory scene just "the exposition scene for those who haven't caught up" HELP. Like that was pure exposition.

And Lightbulb managed to jump out the way of the mephone X but suddenly just stopped?? Girl keep hopping 💀!??? Was ir because she fell?!ROLL GIRL STOP DROP AND ROLL KEEP GOING?!

And why did she say "You obviously never wanted this before but it's time for you to be the leader" because um. Isn't Paintys whole thing wanting to be the leader. Am I dumb rn. . . I don't get that line it's stumped me for days. THE VOICE ACTING IN THE SCENE WAS GOLDEN THOUGH!? PROPS TO THEM!!!

Though I did really like the Bow possession thing being used again LOL, I think that's a fun thing that should've been used more!! Toilets new voice took a while for me to like LOL. Also I wish the survivors in the Purgatory Mansion actually did more... They kinda just stood there while Bow did everything with Apple - like, I wish they did more, if that makes sense??

Like Lightbulb needed Paintbrush to be the leader like it was her final wish but they didn't really do anything. Too leadership like after that.

The ending was... It was um. An ending to an episode alright. ✌

I think thats most of it????? It was. Fine to me, not very high on the list. I thought the sudden sprite changes in the fight scene between Knife N Suitcase was fucking hilarious like how you let a kick do that bro.

The whole *this is definitely fake* thing confuses me too, where did they get time to plan that out?? How did they know toilet and Bow was planning to unplug Me, and like, when was it said??? at all??? How did they plan a fake fight??? It was so clearly faked IMO, but it was like. WHEN DID THEY. PLAN. THAT??? OFF SCREEN???? BUT THEY HAD SUCH ANIMOSITY EVEN WHEN NO ONE WAS WATCHING???? HOW DID BOW FIND TOILET??? AND LIKE. MAKE THAT. PLAN???

... The robots of Justin Brian and Adam were too funny to take seriously too IMO.

And how did they make the connection from Video game re plugging itself to wires to toilet?? How come only the object being deleted could see mephone X before but suddenly everyone can see Mephone X now?? I shouldn't ask too many questions. Maybe I watched it wrong.

I don't HATE THE SHOW I don't think. Just um. I think it's on some trembling scaffolding. HAHAHA SORRY I AM NOT ADDING TAGS TO THIS I'M GONNA GET MAULED....

But that's just my opinion HELP. If you liked it all the power to you.. HELL. TELL ME WHY YOU LIKED IT!! Maybe the reasons I don't like it are the reasons YOU like it! Who knows, people are weird, it's nice to have different opinions! :D I invite discussion HELP. Or if you've got corrections to stuff I'm wrong on or explanations to stuff I'm confused on. . . God help me HA