#graveyard shift not included unfortunately

[miwtual]

@lgbtqcreators creator challenge — overlay and album covers

MOTIONLESS IN WHITE albums + title tracks

[aro-who-reads]

Anthologies including aro stories

(that I have read recently)

I know most people probably aren't going to read an anthology because it has one aro story in it (well, I would. And have done so!) But here's a little list in case any of these interest anyone generally, or people have access to them and would like to check out the aro stories.

1. Everything Under the Moon (Ed. Michael Earp). Aro story is Seeing Colour by Jes Layton.

I've already talked about this one, I think it's my favourite on the list (the story itself and the anthology as a whole). The anthology is full of queer fairytale retellings, and Seeing Colour is about a young aro person getting to know an older single person.

2. An Unexpected Party (Ed. Seth Malacari). Aro story is The Graveyard Shift by Jes Layton.

I also enjoyed this one, it's an Australian queer YA spec fic anthology with a deliberate focus on less common queer rep (lots of trans, nonbinary rep) and emerging writers. Being aro isn't really a focus of the story but it does use the phrase "alloromantic bullshit". There was another story with an ace character who might have been meant to be aro as well?

3. This is Our Rainbow (Ed. Katherine Locke and Nicole Melleby). Aro story is Girl's Best Friend by Lisa Jenn Bigelow.

A queer middle grade anthology. While not explicitly an aroace story, it does explicitly talk about having a squish on someone, who the MC attempts to befriend by turning into a dog. (I also believe the author is aroace?)

4. Out There: Into the Queer New Yonder (Ed. Saundra Mitchell). Aro story is The Undeniable Price of Everything by Z Brewer.

YA queer futuristic anthology. Unfortunately I found the aro story in this one of the weaker stories in the anthology, as it was a bit confusing. I also just didn't like the anthology as much as a whole either, but that might just be because it was more romance focused and I wasn't as interested.

[owlespresso]

bedtime stories I. Dan Heng. tags: fluff, literally sleeping together thank you to @yinyuedijun for peer reviewing this as an expert in the dan heng field. please go check out her work including 风月 | wind, moon

Puddles of artificial light glisten off the tiles which surround Dan Heng’s futon—or the mess of a thing it’s become.

Pillows and blankets bundle around him as he splays out on his stomach, tablet held in one hand, chin cradled in the other. He’s visibly rumpled, messy hair and worn expression at odds with the otherworldly beauty. He’s slipped off his mortal guide like a well-worn robe, tail snaking out onto the bedding from underneath a pillow that’s landed on the small of his back.

The robe he’s actually wearing has been shrugged off his shoulders, pale flesh exposed to your wandering gaze. Inky dark strands of past to expose the back of his neck, where healing bruises in the shape of your mouth mar his otherwise flawless skin. You only feel a little bad when you press your cold hand to his nape. 

He jumps, and glares. To offer him anything other than a smug little smile would be a lie.

“You look so sleepy,” you coo.

“I think I am plenty awake now,” he grouses, chiding. He lifts the duvet for you to climb under. anyways. 

“Don’t be mad at me—you’re just so sexy. I can’t keep my hands off of you,” you wheedle, settling against his side like an oversized cat. He runs a little cool, but you find it to be yet another charm point on the endless list. He smells good, too, recently out of the shower. You shamelessly press your face into his flank, right beneath his armpit, and nestle your cheek into the velvety down of his robe.

One of your greedy hands reaches over his thin waist to squeeze. You inhale him without remorse, practically purring as your fingers toy with the material of his robe, squeezing and rubbing the spot just above his hip. He huffs, but the sound is shaky, and he wraps an arm around you regardless, cradling you tight to him.

This, naturally, delights you to no end. There is no better place to be than hoarded close, huddled tight to him like a chick hidden beneath mother’s feathers. 

Unfortunately, even with your eyes closed, you can still detect the intrusive glow of the his screen. Peeking an eye open, ou see the artificial seaform light wobbling on the ceiling tile.

“Dan Heng,” you groan. It’s hell to extricate yourself from your cocoon, but you brave it, hefting yourself up on an elbow, shifting from your side to your stomach. Your touch glides up the smooth flesh of his forearm, and your forehead knocks into his shoulder.

“Just another minute, and then I will be done.” he promises.

“That’s what you said an hour ago, baby,” you murmur, thumb rubbing at the inside of his wrist. “All that blue light is bad for your eyes.”

Dan Heng, you know, is usually quite conscious of his health. Even should he remain awake through the graveyard hours, he’s sure to get an adequate amount of rest. Avoiding sleep, throwing himself into his research—it all points towards a single, dreadful conclusion. Something is bothering him, and he’s distracting himself in the most constructive way he knows how. 

And you could call him on it, but accusations have no place in his bed, among the soft duvets and the comforters he’s gradually filled the space with ever since the first night you slept together.

“Talk to me,” you murmur into his forearm, right beneath the round of his shoulder. You gently squeeze his wrist, urging it away from the tablet. 

Dan Heng considers you, but his eyes have gone soft in a way that lets you know you have won. A silent thrill of victory rushes through you when he powers it off and places it on the nearest counter, rearing out of his nest to do so, stood on his knees. It’s for only a moment, but he ducks back inside like a sunscorched wanderer dives for the shade. He wraps you both in pale blue and plush pillows, eager arms dragging you to his chest. You go willingly, happily, pressed to his bosom. Beneath you, his weary heart thrums a traveler’s beat. His tail, cool and gentle to the touch, twines around your thigh, then your calf.

Hands cramped from a long day of endless scrolling and searching settle, in the end, on dip of your lower back. 

“So,” you begin, once all of his fiddling and fussing has come to an end. “Have you been in the archives all day?”

“March and Caelus invited me to the dining car for lunch. I stretched my legs—and my hands every hour, before you ask.”

“Your hands are almost as important to you as they are to me, so you must take care of them well,” you declare solemnly, turning your head to admire his fine features. He gives a halfhearted eyeroll.

“I’m sure,” he says, curling his fingers against your back. He gazes down at you through half-lidded eyes, pale features washed by the starlight, illuminated by pale neon and blinking light. “And you?”

“What about me?”

“Did you eat well today?” he asks, softer this time. “You forgot lunch yesterday,” he reminds you pointedly. You open your mouth, but he cuts you off, eyes narrowing. “A bag of chips is not a suitable lunch.”

“I ate well! Welt and Himeko were nice enough to help with dinner.”

There’s a pause, then. Something dissatisfied but otherwise unreadable flickers across his face, quick as a minnow. 

“I’ll help, tomorrow,” he says, more a vow than an offer. His expression brokers no room for argument. You hold in a laugh, shutting your eyes with a smile. 

“Only if you really want to,” you murmur, pressing your ear to his chest, letting the sound of his heartbeat soothe the day’s leftover tensions and aches. “You’re not obligated—”

“I want to,” Dan Heng repeats, slower this time. More purposeful. His hands stroke up and down your back, thumbs spreading to squeeze your waist. You jump, just a little, and laugh, suddenly sheepish. 

“I’m glad,” You burrow your face into the crook of his neck, ears hot, cheeks ridiculously warm. You feel set adrift when you close your eyes. The waves are the steady rise and fall of his chest, his presence the depths, cool and clean. “ What would you like to make?”

“I had a few ideas—” Dan Heng begins. His voice, lastly, is the life preserver. You cling to it with warm hands and sleepy eyes. The waters lull you, but you keep your head above the beckoning grey, guided by the mere promise of another long conversation with him about nothing. "Tanghulu, maybe..."

[lightwing-s]

𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 | 𝐝. 𝐠.

pairing: dick grayson x gn!reader warnings: brief mentions of blood, but nothing much. word count: 2,9k summary: when nightwing is a dick, but dick is a sweetheart a/n: my first shot at gn writing, so if there's anything in the story that gives any hints at a specific gender, pls warn me so I can make the correct modifications.

pt. ii | pt. iii

⌜masterlist⌟ ⌜requests⌟

With his breath heavy and his knuckles sore, Dick stood over four guys he had spent the last half and hour trying put down and who were now spread on the floor of a random alley, after he beat them till unconsciousness. Cleaning the sweat on his forehead and the bits of blood — whoever they belonged to — off his face, he stretched his back muscles, his sore arms and looked up to face the night sky one more time before calling in quits for tonight. Unsurprisingly, though, he didn't meet the sky as dark as he had last paid attention to, when he was just about to rush downtown to stop Blockbuster’s new attempt to rob yet another bank in the same night.

This time, a new source of light rose from the horizon, painting the sky in beautiful cotton candy shades of light blue, pink and lilac, warming the damp city and letting him know that he has, once more, stayed some extra time in his role as Nightwing, even if it’s for a good reason. Three nights in a row, just this week, he has seen the sunrise in black and blue costume.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, careful not to let his domino mask slide, and letting out a long sight, Dick walks in the direction of the exit/entrance to the alley, heading for the phonebooth by the edge of it where, upon entrance, he and dials three very familiar numbers, and with just two rings he is hearing the 911 dispatcher’s voice, tirelessly greeting him just as he replies back.

“Hello, Andrea, it's been some time.” he greets who by this time is a well known voice, smile audible through his as its instantly recognize by the dispatcher who religiously takes the graveyard shift along with him. “Oh, I'm fine, I guess... What will I be needing today? Hmm, I guess the cops, as usual, and…” he looks back to the four men and says: “Perhaps two ambulances?... Yeah, they gave me a thought time... No, no, I can handle my cuts on my own... Alright, let me see …” he takes up some time to look up his location and tells it to the woman on the phone. “Thanks, Andy. Until another time.”

Turning off the phone with a huff, he turns back to the men who were still spread on the floor, knocked out, some of them still grunting in pain, and rests on the side of the phonebooth. A similar pain starts creeping up his body, falling on his muscles, because even if he didn’t receive a single punch that night — a rare but welcome occurrence —, hitting people is an extremely exhausting activity.

Taking his grappling gun in his hands, he aims and is soon propelled to the top of the brown stone building. His legs almost fail him upon landing, and he heads to the parapet, where he takes a seat and choses to rests for a while. The sunrise looks beautiful, and the noises of the city still quiet before people start heading out for work or school. With that in mind, he looks at his watch and is welcomed with a very unfortunate information: 6am. He had to be leaving for work at 6h30. By the time he makes it home from where he is, almost the other side of the city, he’ll have a few minutes shower the blood and sweat — and tears — away, get ready, eat and leave straight away, meaning no rest till the end of his shift at 6pm, not including the extra time he'll have to take to finish up some papers he failed to finish off the night before. Today is going to be a long one.

When Dick was getting up to leave, a black sedan pulls up on the street, taking his attention. Expectant of another group of goons to fight off, he is surprised to find a single person come out of it, running straight to the four criminals. They wore a long, black coat seemingly made of leather or a similar fabric, under the coat they had a white sweatshirt with a hoodie on, trying to protect themselves from the few drops of rain that still insisted on falling down. A courier bag hang from their shoulder and a professional camera from their neck, by the looks of it, quite expensive. Leaning over the parapet for a closer inspection, he found himself curious about the newcomer and completely trapped on their every action. He analyzes the greasy skin of their forehead, meaning they had been working for a while, the tired bags under their eyes telling him they must have been exhausted and the small stain in the white hoodie, from what seems to be a kind of food condiment. Someone seemed to have one night just as busy as his.

Dropping their bag by the wall, they promptly start taking pictures of the bandits that had been taken down not long before, taken by the still fresh bloodstains. Dick now had elbows on his legs, shamelessly watching them in action. Picturing the men, the blood spilled around them, close ups of their bruises and the guns that were thrown further back in the alley. Bending down, they search for stuff out off the guys' pockets like gum, coins and documents. Those last ones had their content write on a small notepad they took from their bag.

A journalist? Dick thought. They can’t be just a curious person, they wouldn't go to these lengths, would they? Dick obsessively follows their every move and pays attention to their small details: how they have their sleeves over their hands, how the chew on the bottom of their pencil, how they suck their cheeks in in concentration, and how their camera is aiming at him now… wait what?!

Cough off guard by their sudden act, Dick loses balance and almost falls down from the roof, managing to regain balance due to years of acrobat training. People don’t usually take pictures of me, damn it! After recollecting himself, he looks back down and back down a catches a glimpse at their beautiful face, the way they stare at him so feverishly making his own face flush a little. But there's something off in their expression, are they... disgusted?

No one, usually, looks at me disgusted.

Shaking their head at the vigilante atop the old building, the photographer turns around, picks up their bag and turns to the street to leave the alley. However, right after they hear the sounds of two feet landing right behind them.

“What was that? Not impressed by the feat?” asked Nightwing.

“There’s nothing to be impressed here.” they reply, not giving him the satisfaction of turning around. “Unless unnecessary violence pleases your eyes.” Unnecessary?

“So you suggest I let them steal the bank? Or let them take the little kids hostage again?” he sneered at the reply. “Perhaps you want me to join them next time?” he goes further with the mockery, not enjoying her distasteful tone.

“I suggest letting the police handle it.” if only they knew… “And not attracting more crazy criminals to this city”

“What?” he questions incredulously. “For someone so charming you have some really inequitable opinions. I’m helping keep Bludhaven safe from crime and…”

“While also letting psychopaths know there's a dumbass in leotards ready to play cat and mouse with them” they cut Nightwing with an indignant smile. “Leave the vigilante bullshit for Gotham, we don’t need you here”. Deciding to leave for good, they tighten their bag on their shoulders and move once more in the direction of their car.

Dick should have been a better man, but he couldn’t help and watch as their hips swayed away from him. What sleep deprivation doesn't do to a guy.

“Sure doesn’t look like it.” he whispered for himself, but apparently not much so.

“Oh don’t come to me with that bullshit” they turn back aggressively. “We were not perfect but we were doing just fine without you here! Do you know Gotham statistics show more people perished from violence since Batman showed up than ever before? And which city do you think is heading in the same direction?”

At this point, they had their finger up on Dick’s nose, and he was starting to get worked up as well, his need to rush home and get to work moving down his list of priorities at the moment.

“You wanna use stats then? Show me how safer people feel since I moved here? Tell me how many more arrests were counted? I’ll answer that sweetie, a lot more”

“Don’t sweetie me, Nightbitch. You won’t change my opinion with arrest stats. The police could do that with a bit more funding. If you want the city to change for real, there are other ways you can actually help it.''

Actually, they were not wrong. Fighting crime is the smallest bit of a much larger problem. But what they don’t know is that while Nightwing operates in the crime fighting jurisdiction, Dick Grayson works to make other changes in Bludhaven. He must have spent too much time thinking of a way to state that without giving any hints of his secret identity, that when he saw it, he realized they were just a few inches from getting in their car.

“What, leaving without a kiss?” Grow up, Dick! he thought. You’re better than this.

But there was something about them, a power they held over him, that easily could make him angry, and he didn't know why. Gosh, this was the first time he had ever met them! Why is he getting so worked up?

And so, the last sight he cough of them was their careless self getting into the car while showing him the middle finger.

Dick had rushed home as fast as he could, and just as fast as he was changed into his work clothes and heading out the door. When running through his bedroom, upon seeing his bed, still unmade from two days before, it never seemed so inviting. All he wanted was a good twelve hours of sleep, or at least just one quick nap before work, but he knew there’s no way that could be a possibility today.

Rushing down the stairs of his apartment building, his stomach started rumbling, telling him to stop at his usual café down the street. The instant he got into the building the smell of coffee took over his entire being, and if he didn’t get a cup within minutes, he was certain he would collapse. Waiting in line to order, he mentally repeated his usual of a large cup of Flat White coffee with the special breakfast sandwiches of the day with ham and salad. Or was it turkey today?

“Nice jacket” complimented a voice from behind him.

“Oh, thanks. But it’s just a work u…” too stunned to speak, Dick was surprised to see the same photographer from the alley standing right in front of him, this time minus all the bags and cameras. “A-hem, an uniform thing”

“So you're in the police?” they asked, and if he wasn’t so sleep deprived he would swear he saw their eye sparkle.

“Yeah! Detective.” he answered, showing him the badge sewn into his jacket.

“Being an officer has to be one of the coolest careers that is.” stated the other, caressing the badge on the jacket, and subsequently Dick’s arm. Were they flirting?

“Well, it sure is an eventful career path” he replied and they giggled. Giggled. Dick was shocked. The same person that not even an hour ago was screaming at him — sure, it wasn't really him, but still! — for apparently being a bad influence on the city was now caressing him and being all flirty? The world doesn’t turn my friend, it flips you over.

He was about to reply with some terrible pick up line (the sleep deprivation doing things to the part of his brain responsible for that) when he received a notification on his phone with the tune that meant he had to check it.

[07:14] jason: looks like someone caught the bird red-handed lol

The strange message was followed by a link that Dick instantly clicked on, interested in knowing why the hell was his brother using his “alert messages only” channel to send him a freaking news article from a tabloid newspaper. And then he saw it…

NIGHTWING IS A MESS WHILE MESSING UP OUR CITY.

And under this aggressive headline was embedded the most unflattering picture of him as Nightwing ever. No, no, the worst picture of HIM ever… taken by the very same person who is now shamelessly flirting with him. Oh, how he's going to enjoy this conversation even more now!

“Nightwing sure is a mess, huh?” they asked, peeking over his shoulder to read the article they probably had a hand on writing as well.

“It’s what it takes to keep the city safe.” he answered.

“... Sure” they agreed, but their tone was uncertain.

“What? Don’t you like him?” he inquired, trying to fully understand why they despised him so much. Well, his masquerade self.

“Hmm” they tried to start an argument, opening their mouth a couple of times before deciding on: “Not really.”

“Well, I think he’s doing an outstanding job helping the city” Dick stated.

“Are you sure? It looks to me he does more damage than good to us”

“How’s that so?” he questioned honestly.

“He fights crime, pulls down bandits and gangs, and so what, I get it. But since he arrived all this crime has escalated, there’s a new bank robbery every week, break ins, gang fights. Don’t you think he’s just a beacon for more crime?”

“Honestly?” he started. “Although this might be true, in some form, he does jobs that could take the police months to act on, he helps us a ton, and I personally believe the media just gives him a lot of bad press.”

“So you making us the villain?” they asked, arching an eyebrow.

“You work with the press?”

“Bludhaven Post.” answered, showing him their company card.

“I’m sorry. Not the villain, but just instigators” he corrected himself, ready to not let this conversation turn into a fight too.

“But what about the rest then? Anything else that he could have done for the city, like charity, helping kids, eating the rich kind of stuff, that would help the city much more than putting down pathetic fat guys with guns?”

“How can we be sure he’s not doing that?” he replied with his own question this time, apparently hitting the right spot, as he watched them open and close their mouth once more, looking around the building as if search for a good argument to fight back, but admitting defeat by saying:

“Touché.” A smile glued to their face, hands up in mock defeat. A moment of silence followed the two of them, broken shortly by the barista calling Dick to take his order. After he got it taken, they immediately followed with:

“I would love to chat with you about Nightwing some other time, Officer…”

“Grayson. Dick Grayson.” he replied, extending his hand for them to shake. Noticing their questioning look after he introduced himself, Dick expected the usual joke about his name, but nothing came of it, instead he saw them reach to their back pocket and take out of it a small piece of paper, with something written on, and hand it to him. Reading it, he found it had a phone number and a name.

“Well, Officer… I mean Detective Grayson” they corrected. “As I said I would love to chat with you some other time, right now I have to head back to work and I guess so do you?”

“I have to say, I’d like to meet you some other time too. Y/n S/n” he read their name slowly, letting their charm slide through every syllable, and if his intentions were to make them feel things, he sure got it done. Y/n’s eyes sparkled at how he said their name, and they unknowingly bit their bottom lip in response to the action. “But I have to ask, do you have papers with your number ready to give to random guys you meet on the street?” he flirted.

“Not random guys. Just cute ones I’ve been eyeing at a coffee shop for a while” they replied in the same tone.

“Did you know stalking is a crime [Missy/Mister]?” he whispered, getting just a bit closer, his hot breath making their hair fly a little.

“Good thing you’re a cop then.” they stated, removing the paper from their hand and placing it inside his shirt’s pocket. And with one last wink at Dick, they concluded. “You can arrest me any time.”

Dick watched, mouth wide open, as they walked out of the café. The same sensual walk, the same hip sway he had admired earlier.

Messing up his hair in other confusion, and barely missing the barista calling up his name, he grabs his drink and sandwich and heads to work. Hoping something might take this encounter off his head, otherwise he's positive he won't do much work today.

Oh lord, he thought. I can't wait to talk to them again.

.

a/n: part 2, anyone?

[coffin-ramblings]

Hey, I saw the post you made about the mod, and I got to be honest, you make a lot of compelling arguments, though some I do disagree with, but the majority of it, I do agree. I might as well tell you how the development of the mod went for episode 1. In the beginning, we only have a few writers, decent ones, I might say. And near the end of the development of episode 1 mod that is when majority of our team was hired, and as of now I'll mainly focus on episode 2 development, now your argument had been compelling enough to actually raise some question within our team, including me. So I'm must say that there is possibly a plan to revamp episode 1 to be more in line for the character that we have created, even though my advisor heavily disagree with this decision I would like to press forward with it, in addition deal critiques is heavily related to one our writers that agree to most of you opinion of it.

As for me as well for my previous statement of the mod, yes I do have to accept the fact that during the beginning of this project I had created, my main intention of basically just to make them fuck (with a good story attached to it)

However, later down the road, I was more keen interested in making the story more believable.

Is my main goal still the same? A little.

But it has changed.

Coffin-rambling, as one of the founding members of the Graveyard Shift production

I wholeheartedly appreciate your review of our mod, thank you.

One last thing

If you have noticed a certain name that I have been bringing up, it's an old friend of mine from the the very beginning of this community.

u/hornyforMrsgrave

Me and I used to talk a lot about the game and mostly about Renee and how we will convert members of the community to worshiping Renee and shit like that, that is when he got the idea of a mod project, however during that time we were barely anyone noticeable, nobody to say the least. Later on, he grew in difference with the community, mostly due to him focusing too much on the negative of the community instead of the many positive events that happened at the time. Eventually, he left, and I stayed.

The idea of a mod project stay with me though, I mostly left it on a notepad as a wishful thinking, over the time, I grew more recognition in the community whether in helping people becoming friends or taking up responsibilities, until one day, a certain art piece from an artist remind me of the idea that we talk about.

From that point, I asked the artist if he can help with something. Safe to say, the rest is history.

You're a very hard critic, but you make a lot of points, I do hope to see you review our mod in episode 2.

-Unknown9337

Thank you for reading my review and sending me this nice art Unknown! I didn’t expect that you’d find it, and I really am glad to hear that you like it. Your mod has a lot of potential that I think can be improved, so I hope that my review isn’t too harsh. I’m also glad to hear the development process on your side and flattered that my review has influenced that much discussion. 

I’m planning to soon post a second part of my review focused on what I feel are unfortunate implications in the writing of Renee’s and Andrew’s relationship, and another post with two AUs I made with friends inspired by the mod. I hope you'll appreciate them.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Are there any new villians or characters that you are obsessed with?

Hmm, new villains... /: I've mostly been re watching stuff lately, but I do have a list of villains I don't really talk about but really want to!

Here it is! ^^ Bolded ones are the ones I'm REALLY REALLY into XD

Stuntman Mike, Death Proof

Look at him !! I could get lost in writing about a nasty creep like him. I want him to kiss me but I also wanna smack him; I dunno XD

Agent Eddie Zane, Man of the House

He's Bo-age Brian Van Volt (Literally the same year) and his character is a sneaky scoundrel who pretends to be the protagonists friend so he can get close to his daughter (And he calls her doll)- need I say more?? No, I don't think I do. Damnn.

Steve Abnesti, Spiderhead

Not gonna lie, I wanna write some really dark stuff for Steve.

Eleanor, Do Revenge

David Harris/Unknown, The Stepfather 2009

I love this movie so so much!! It always makes me want peanut butter toast, which is a little weird if you've seen the movie. David, though, oooffffff. He's so AWFUL. And he's got this shit under control, and his energy is so soulless, but ohhh boy, when he finally loses it?? I'm so obsessed. This is honestly one of my favourite movies and his character is played perfectly.

Suzie Marie Toller, wild things

MEAN GENIUS. MEAN GENIUS. MEAN GENIUS-

Rusty Nail, Joyride

LakePlacid3!Reba, Lake Placid

Gary Sitterson, Cabin in the Woods

I don't know, there's just something cute about him XD He's not full villain, but I'm very very intrigued.

Helene, Tony, and Becky Le Domas, Ready or Not

Chef Slowick, The Menu

He's so sad, I just wanna give him a cuddle and encourage him to cook at a soup kitchen. He's the kinda character where you just wanna be his favourite person- the only person not expendable to him (Including himself!!).

Chase McKinney, Now You See Me 2

Detective Wayne Bailey/Kirsch, Scream 6

Warwick, Graveyard Shift

Another one I could write some really dark stuff for... :D :D :D Sorry, haha XDD

Alexis Butler and Val, We Summon the Darkness

They're so crazy. I wanna be friends (Or more) with them so badly XD I just love any crazy women in horror movies- we need more crazy women in horror movies. I just love watching them to be gross and terrible, theirs something cathartic about it.

Pearl, X + Pearl

Pelle, Midsommar

Norman Bates, Psycho

Brenda Bates, Urban Legend

Another crazy lady. Rebecca Gayheart just did so amazing as Brenda, and she's so much fun, and just... yeah. I love funny Slashers.

Mulgarath, Spiderwick

Have you heard his voice? Its Nick Nolte.

... Count Olaf... Series of Unfortunate Events

Look, leave me be. He's just so GROSS. I love gross, irredeemable villains that you know the writers really just went 'I am going to make this character so unlikeable'. Truly top tier.

Capricorn, Cockerell and Flatnose, Inkheart

I always thought Cockerell especially was pretty XD Kinda Otis B Driftwood-Style.

Dag, Barnyard

I MEAN?? Ugh. I'm sorry. I know he's a coyote. But he's such a bastard and I love it. He's been a favourite of mine since I was a kid!

Lady Van Tassel and the Hessian, Sleepy Hollow

I know one person especially will be happy to see the Hessian on here- XD

Velma Von Tussle, Hairspray

She's so mean... Agh. Haha XD I wanna write that Wilbur scene in the joke shop with reader in his place XD

The Colonal, Spirit Stallion of the Cimarron

Verosika Mayday, Crimson and Paimon, Helluva Boss

Nathanial Demerest, Wishmaster

The Trapper, Dead By Daylight

T.G. McCabe, S.W.A.T 2003

Little greedy coward that he is... I so wanna write for him XD

Please, anyone, if you're interested in any of these guys please tell me about it!

[musical-chick-13]

I’d blame @easy-revenge being an enabler, but really I just enable myself.

I want to talk about how the episode 8/“First Death” ED is an absolutely perfect representation of grief.

The very first shot is of two cigarettes. And though smoking is something we the audience have come to associate with Himeno, the presence of two of them suggests that we are meant to view this shot as symbolic of the relationship between Himeno and Aki. From the very outset, the ED makes it clear that the thing we are supposed to take away from this sequence (and, honestly, probably the episode in general) is the strength of their connection. And immediately after this, we get a brief glimpse of a cemetary, crosses marking graves and crows perching on them. Whatever this connection was, it is broken. Himeno is dead.

It’s worth noting that once the guitar kicks in (and thus we have a clearer instrumental that more cleanly represents what we tend to think of as a “song”, instead of the melody-less, monotone, horn-like sound effect backed by drums at the beginning), we are shown more scenes of Aki and Himeno-a memory, a beautifully done shot of both of them lighting cigarettes from the same lighter simultaneously, with all of their history flashing behind them (with special mention to Makima’s eye, adding a creepy and unfortunate shadow over their intimate moments-just like in life), and a scene of an older Aki approaching a younger Himeno in the graveyard where they met, the first of several Grief Shots, all of which never fully show Himeno’s face. Aki is at a physical distance or, in the case of the shot of her walking through a field later on, not present at all. However close the two of them were in life, and however strong or even accurate memories of her can be, she is, ultimately, inaccessible. She’s no longer a living, breathing person, but a specter. She no longer lives, she haunts. The frames shift in and out of focus, both highlighting both the confusing, disorienting nature of personal loss, and creating an effect similar to crying.

We have some slow-moving shots of other characters (including a wonderfully creepy shot of Makima’s eye opening in especially painstaking slow-motion, which...every single animation choice they make with her is a hell of a piece of foreshadowing--oh, and don’t even get me STARTED on the perfect timing of the background shifting to black with a literal explosion of red on the off-beat at the end of the musical phrase *chef’s kiss*), creating a sinister atmosphere, showing us how serious the situation is, reminding us that there are other people in this story to care for, but we quickly shift back to Aki and Himeno, on a bench, at (relative) peace (except not really, because it’s clear that Aki is Thinking About Revenge, but, hey at least they’re not in immediate danger).

Over the course of this ED, we are treated to parallel shots of Himeno in a forest-the first, completely naked, head down, hunched in on herself and obviously deeply sad. The second, in her trademark sleepwear, a sly, slightly flirty smile on her face, still a little folded in on herself, but sitting in a pose of relaxation rather than despair. This comes after, in succession, another Grief Shot of Aki at the graveyard, a butterfly flying through the field Himeno was walking through earlier (now empty-once again, as we are reminded, she is gone), and a screen full of flowers immediately wilting, all suggesting that this is how Aki chooses to remember her-not as a helpless victim of tragedy, but the vibrant, unapologetic person she was in life. There’s a sharp, overlit, dreamy filter over her in this later shot--this is how Aki sees her, someone who deserves to be memorialized, but also someone now far away from him, made distant and different through death.

IN ADDITION (and this is the part where I REALLY start to go feral), the singer’s voice only fully lets loose during the scene of Aki and Himeno fighting together. It’s in a higher register, and the melody doesn’t move at all, staying on the same note. High register chest voice (for those who are not as familiar with singing terms, this, in simplified terms, is basically “not falsetto”) is usually instinctively associated with raw, unbridled emotion. Mainly because it’s farther away from most people’s natural speaking voice, so the approach, vowel modification, and support involved make it harder to sing in healthily, and more difficult to vary in volume, leading to a usually uniformly loud and powerful sound. This sense of raw emotion only comes when showing us just how in tune these two are, just how well they work together, just how easily they are on the same page. The conscious choice to use a vocal technique/register commonly associated with heightened, intense emotion tells us what this connection truly meant and, consequently, conveys the gravity of what has been lost.

And interspersed with this fight, still in the midst of this full, raw vocal display of emotion, there is a shot of their hands connecting, lit in golden-yellow. A casual, automatic moment of physical connection, even in the midst of a dangerous and distinctly non-intimate situation. Yes, it’s devastating that we’ve lost a good, competent team. But even more devastating is that we’ve lost something more than that, something more than even a friendship; we’ve lost a partnership. Even more than coworkers, or even close friends, Aki and Himeno were partners.

This becomes even more overt when the singer shifts into a half-chest-voice, half-falsetto cry (expertly shifting between these two registers, I might add), the furthest jump between notes in the whole song so far present here, and it’s not even on a specific word. Just a vocalized “ah.” Loss cannot be put into words, and sometimes all you can do is sigh or sob or scream. This is the natural culmination of everything we’ve seen, and it is crushing.

The animation shifts in and out of focus again (memories aren’t enough, having a partner for some, not all of your life, isn’t enough), and we have a slow shot of Aki opening his eyes this time. But instead of being ominous or unsettling like in the case of Makima, his eye stays downcast before looking ahead with something bordering on a thousand-yard-stare. This is not horror or a warning, this is grief. And ultimately, despite everything else going on, this is the emotion that wins out. This is the point (at least for now, at this particular moment in the story).

We stay mostly in the graveyard for the rest of the ED, (there’s no use in pretending this is anything other than a mourning song, now), minus a brief moment of Power and Denji looking concerned, while Aki sways slightly, a tad unbalanced (backed by an equally unsteady trill in the guitar line). The stillest we’ve been this whole sequence is a few seconds of Aki simply standing in shadow, head tilted slightly downward, holding flowers, gazing at graves. Grief is hard, it’s paralyzing, and it can be (at least at first) all-consuming. This stillness is broken by a flash of bright-dreamy-filter Himeno (once again, not showing her whole face-just her lips this time), just like how memories and hurt associated with grief can come up violently and unexpectedly. And, now that we’ve fully established this as a Grief Song, when the melody involving the chest-voice-falsetto combo repeats to fill out the musical period and resolve its cadence, we now have words (in fact, we have more syllables than expected) and I don’t think that this particular musical choice matching up with the full shot of Himeno in the forest as fully memorialized by Aki is a coincidence. Himeno is re-realized in some way, and so the ability to put this feeling to words is, too. This memorialization can serve as a brief moment of respite, and so we can return to proper lyrics, instead of a wordless keening.

More of Aki alone in the graveyard, and even as we get a few bars of guitar outro, the somber atmosphere doesn’t let up-Aki’s slow trek through the seemingly endless stretch of graves marked with crosses is bleak and lonely. The last shot set to music is a close-up on his face, looking forlorn and lost at what would be the camera if this were a live-action show.

And then. Cut to silence. A brief shot of flowers (the ever-immortal symbol of grief over death) and a lighter (the ever-immortal symbol of Himeno). Once again, this is not just sadness over a death for the sake of it being a death. This is a loss. This relationship was important, and the melancholy and heartbreak of watching this character die is inextricably tied to the loss of the particular interpersonal connection between Aki and Himeno.

(Also, fun fact: this song is in g minor, which a) has two flats, and b) was a popular key choice of Mozart himself, and is considered to be The Key™ in which he most effectively communicated feelings of despair/tragedy/etc. So. Basically I’m losing my mind in real time.)

There’s also the fact that the beginning and the pre-chorus don’t really have a “key” per se. There’s definitely a background accompaniment, but it’s more general sounds rather than specific pitches. (The bass comes the closest, but it doesn’t quite settle on a pitch.) Grief comes from a lack of something. And just like these parts of the song lack a pitch to center around and use as a home base, sometimes grief feels like you’re missing a part of your life, or even, sometimes, yourself. Maybe it’s not constant, but you feel and notice the absence acutely when it shows up.

And this lack of key/center pitch is eventually contrasted (during the verse and at the end of the pre-chorus) with a constant stream of “g” notes in the guitar line. The home base (or tonic note, if you will) of the scale of the key the overall song is in. That thing you lack, that you miss, that you’re grieving, it’s still there. Everything you had and then lost, you still remember. You still want it back. Grief is persistent and, it doesn’t just go away (even if things would be much easier if it did). It’s going to come up, sometimes in places you don’t expect, and it’s going to hit hard.

(And the fact that grief doesn’t go away carries over into how Himeno is treated in the narrative. There’s the heartbreaking scene in the hospital. There are the flashbacks Aki has before he kills the Ghost Devil. There’s him taking petty revenge on the man responsible for Himeno’s death and all the time he spends taking out, looking at, and eventually smoking the “easy revenge” cigarette. Himeno even features heavily in the ED for the episode after she dies. And I’m not going to spoil things for the anime-only crowd, but there are a few little moments later on in the story, too. Her death isn’t just something that’s forgotten, and her idea of “easy revenge” and making what little joys you can out of life to spite the miserable world around you continues to reverberate through the story, and for Aki specifically. We already see a little of this when he goes berserk on Katana Man despite claiming Himeno wouldn’t want that, and allowing himself to relax a little and even enjoy Power’s and Denji’s company in the episode 12 ending sequence.)

I’ve lost track of the amount of times I’ve watched this. And every time I do, I see something new. The level of care put into this sequence, of using every available tool at the animators’ and musicians’ disposal to so accurately and heart-wrenchingly portray grief is phenomenal. This is an absolutely, breathtakingly stunning ED, and I’m not sure I’ll ever see another one like it.

[literallyjustanerd]

Fives And Echo Try To Make It Through One (1) Single Night Shift (or, Fourteen Is Not The Limit)

Based, unfortunately, on personal experience.

Summary: Fives sneaks an admittedly cool, but still very contraband, switchblade into the GAR barracks, and both he and Echo end up on night shift as punishment because the Domino twins are nothing if not a package deal. Fives finds a way to make the night worse than it already is.

Words: 1514 Genre: Comedy

           Echo drums his fingers on the side of his seat, the rhythmic focus currently the only thing keeping him from nodding off for a third time. Soft music drones from the subspace radio in the centre console, no longer enough to keep his mind occupied. Not even the thrice-refilled mug of caf beside him can do anything to stave off his exhaustion by now. Bleary eyes drag sluggishly down to the chrono, tracking streaks of neon blue in their wake. The light of comms display casts a blanket of haze over them, one Echo would be more than happy to curl up and sink into. A few deliberate blinks force the chrono back into focus. Another hour and their shift is finally over. Outside the sealed-off comms room, their bunks wait for them, warm and (relatively) clean and –who is he kidding– he would happily sleep on the floor of the mess hall in full armour if it was offered. Helmet included.

“Nearly done,” he says through a yawn, head lolling in Fives’ direction. Facing away from him, hunched forward over the console, Fives gives an uncharacteristically brief and quiet hum. Come to think of it, the past ten minutes have been utterly peaceful. Fives must be even more drained than Echo if he’s run out of words to challenge the silence. Oh, well. He deserved it.

            This was the last time Echo would be taking the fall for one of Fives’ bantha-brained stunts. Sure, he’d made that particular declaration going on fourteen times now, but this time he was drawing his line in the proverbial sand. There were only so many times a man could be relegated to night shift comms duty or fresher maintenance before he found his limit. And, it seemed, fourteen was Echo’s. At least he got to learn something about himself while he suffered. Although… admittedly, if they were going to be reprimanded for anything, smuggling in a contraband pocket vibroknife wasn’t the worst possible reason. Fives had surreptitiously picked it up at a black market on their last posting, secreting it away in his pack before it could be questioned. The blade itself shone an impressive duochrome in the light, and switched easily away into an obsidian casing of a quality weight and sculpting. Okay, it was a cool knife. Echo was a big enough man to admit that. And sure, maybe he’d had his turn to try it out, flicking the blade in and out of its handle, making a few testing swipes. Just to get a feel for it. And he supposed maybe, if he really thought about it, he might have made some comments to Fives that could have been misconstrued as challenging his knife-throwing skills. But on the whole, as usual, it was all Fives’ fault they were in this mess. After all, it wasn’t Echo who had mistimed a throw that ended in Tup very nearly losing an eye. That was all Fives. And yet, package deal that they were, both had been reprimanded and sentenced to two weeks of the graveyard watch.

            He’s snapped from this particular meandering train of half-conscious thought when the radio picks up a heavy, stuttering bassline that has a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“Haven’t heard this one since back on Rishi Outpost.” Lowering his feet from where they were propped on the console, he swivels his chair towards Fives. “Kept us going on night shift out there, too.” He gets another bare grunt in response. Fives barely moves. In fact, his limbs seem stiff, awkward, the angles of his back and legs too harsh to be comfortable.

“You good over there?”

“Fine.” At least that got a word out of him. A lie, but a word nonetheless.

“What’s going on, Fives?” Echo’s voice is a warning now, one that Fives reacts to with his usual poise and grace under pressure.

“Nothing!” he sputters, much too fast and far too loud, posture straightening like someone had just grabbed his neck and yanked backwards. Apparently sensing how suspicious it was that he was still facing away from his vod, he, with an alarmingly deep breath in, pivots his chair in short scoots around to face Echo. His hands are jammed into his lap, shoulders raised. A moment after their eyes meet, he gives a pathetically unconvincing smile. “Just tired. That’s all. Almost done, right?”

The silence that Echo rewards him with speaks a thousand words. Most of them curses. Because while Fives tries his level best to look like a man who isn’t in a tremendous amount of discomfort, Echo catches a glint of duochrome on the console behind him. A few drops of something dark and viscous coat the tip of the blade.

Oh, karking hell.

An impressively long test of will ensues as the two stare at each other. In time, though, Echo’s narrowed gaze melts through the already thin ice of Fives’ resolve. It only takes a momentary lapse, a tiny glance downwards, and Echo has his answer.

            Fives grows instantly frantic when Echo stands from his post and makes the three short strides across the room to his brother, wrenching Fives’ hand from where it had been pressed firmly against the gap between his cuisse and his crotchplate. In the space underneath, there’s a short gash in his blacks. A whimper of pain escapes through Fives’ clenched teeth. Echo can do little more than shake his head as blood wells up to darken the polyweave fabric where Fives’ palm had been stemming the flow.

“You kriffing idiot.”

“You can’t tell Rex.”

“I can’t believe you.”

“Or Kix. Please don’t tell Kix.”

“I can’t believe you still have it, let alone that you–”

“It was an accident! It’s not like I meant to–”

“Oh, you didn’t mean to stab yourself? Well that makes it fine!” It isn’t even solely anger that drives Echo’s voice high and blows his tone wide and mocking. The absurdity of the situation gets to him, and he can’t help the laugh that roughs the edges of his words, because of course this is how their shift ends, because of course this would happen to Fives.

“How long?” Echo demands, massaging the bridge of his nose to cover his smile. Fives gives a nervous chuckle, but when Echo repeats the question in his I’m-done-playing voice, his brother’s shoulders sag.

“Ten minutes ago.”

“And you just… sat there?”

“We were so close to being done, I–“

“You sat there with a stab wound for ten minutes.” The insanity of the situation leaves Echo at a loss for any worthy comment, so he resorts instead to gesticulating frantically to Fives, to the open wound, to the room around them and the general mess they were now in. Fives gives his own exaggerated shrug, as best as he can with his hands once again set to the task of trying to stem the bleeding.

“If I’d said anything, they would have sent me straight to medbay.”

Echo cocks an eyebrow.

“Right. A terrible place to be when you’ve been stabbed.”

“It’s been a long night, Echo. A full med eval, filing an incident report, sitting through another reprimand? It could take hours.”

Echo opens his mouth to protest, then stops. Closes it again. Fives can tell when he has an in and he takes it.

“Or…We wait it out just a little longer and we’re done. We go back to our bunks. We sleep.”

Turns out, fourteen isn’t the limit after all.

            The morning lighting sequence is just beginning to take effect when Jesse comes to relieve the ARC troopers and take the next shift, yawning and cradling a mug of caf. In the split second when comms room doors slide open, a flurry of movement ends in Fives and Echo standing side by side, sporting matching grins, posed in a grotesque mockery of what they must think passes for ‘natural.’ Under Fives’ strategically placed arm, Jesse can see the edges of several haphazard strips of tape on his blacks at the top of his leg. There’s a roll of it on the console beside them, along with what looks like wadded up flimsi or tissues, some of it stained with what Jesse has decided to believe is ink.

“…Survive the night, fellas?” he asks carefully. He gets an overloud chorus of greetings and affirmations in reply. With a sigh of resignation, he wonders if the inability to lie to save their kriffing lives is just a 501st trait or if all clones suffer the same affliction. Either way, he decides to take his plausible deniability and cherish it.

“Well… enjoy the rest, then, boys. See you in the barracks.”

“Sure thing, vod!”

“Have a good shift.”

“We’ll save you a seat in the caf.”

“Don’t work too hard!”

            The pair of them hustle out of the comms room like they’re fleeing a losing battle, their babbling audible even as they disappear down the hall. Jesse tries not to notice that Fives is limping the whole way.

[shift-the-third]

『Lucas Wane, Security Guard』

Name: Lucas Goes By: Lucas, Luke Gender: Male Pronouns: He/Him

Lucas Wane is a ~43 year old security guard who works the third shift (11 PM to 7 AM) at Freddy Fazbear's Mega Pizzaplex. Previously a member of the Hurricane Police Department for a short time. A martial artist with a black belt, second dan, he was lucky enough not to get laid off in favor of a S.T.A.F.F. Bot replacement.

Lucas lives 'alone' in a shitty apartment on the fifth floor of your usual low income apartment complex in Hurricane, Utah. Has one roommate, but keeps said roommate secret from most, if not all people, due to the fact that revealing said roommate would get him in heaps of trouble with a certain conglomerate.

Lucas Wane grew up with a twin sister, Priscilla, in a mob family, his father being a very influencial mob boss and his mother being the only one who was emotionally there for him.

He usually kept to himself save for when he hung out with his friends Jeremy and Cassidy. On the day of their demise, Lucas would have joined them, but his father inadvertently saved him from an early death. He has strong survivor's guilt due to this.

Unfortunately, his mother suffered an early death, and Lucas ended up being kicked out of the house at 15 due to something Priscilla had said about him. What this entailed, he's kept to himself.

Lucas had a short stint working as a security guard at Fazbear Frights as well. The fire gave him another dose of survivor's guilt.

As a result, Lucas can be a bit obsessed with death and the afterlife. He is heavy into crystals and considers himself a crystal witch. He wears a rose quartz necklace for protection and good vibes. He has strong knowledge of how organized crime and the criminal underworld works.

♦ Lucas' hobbies include collecting old Mr. Hippo collectors items (any Mediocre Melodies collectors items, as well), crystals and spells related to them, exploring graveyards, taking gravestone rubbings, playing new video games and getting high scores, and playing the oboe, something he hasn't been able to do recently due to the shitty apartment he lives in. ♦ Lucas desperately wants to out Fazbear Entertainment for all of their wrongdoings, but at the same time, doesn't want to lose a steady source of income. ♦ Lucas is a big Monty fan. His lanyard that carries his ID and keycard is Monty Gator themed. It also has a collector's Mr. Hippo pin pinned to the lanyard. ♦ Lucas' talents in bass guitar were taught to him by Monty himself. He considers the alligator a close friend.

---

Any type of RP allowed, from light banter to serious storylines. Feel free to message to set something up, or just send an ask.

No NSFW, but violence is alright.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 20, part two

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

So much happens in this episode that I couldn’t stop the meta and had to break it in thirds. Part one is here, part three is here. 

Owie Owie Owie

Wen Zhuliu takes exquisitely tender care of Wen Chao, despite presumably disliking him quite a lot. He wipes his tears away, saying that the tears will infect his wounds, which...isn't likely, but ok. 

I will note that he didn't get the "no sting" kind of medicine, however, so maybe there's a limit to his kindness.  Wen Chao screams and yells at him while he puts a tiny amount of medicine on one tiny spot of owie. It's going to be a long night for these fellas. Except it isn't because they're going to die, so at least they won't have to put more medicine on.

The candles blow out and we hear the sound of a flute, which Wen Zhuliu hilariously says is just the wind when Wen Chao starts freaking out. They have two days to go before they get to safety, and Wen Chao is pretty sure he's not going to last two days. And you know...he's right!  

As usual he blames Wen Zhuliu for the situation, but then gets afraid that WZL is going to leave him, and starts making promises of status. WZL says that's not necessary. He is a loyal sonofabitch, I'll give him that. 

The Man Comes Around, Redux

And now Wei Wuxian enters the scene, climbing menacingly up the stairs carrying his own hair fan, just like Lan Wangji did in the previous episode. (Gifset here). Wen Zhuliu doesn't look optimistic. When the boys on the roof see Wei Wuxian they don't look too happy either.

Wei Wuxian stops in front of Wen Zhuliu and proceeds to have a philosophical conversation with him. Wei Wuxian has come to fuck your shit up, but he has also come to pass judgement on your ethics because he is, fundamentally, still himself. 

Wen Zhuliu takes the opportunity to justify his actions, giving a heartfelt statement about what he owes to Wen Ruohan. Wen Zhuliu knows his number is up and that they obviously didn't kill Wei Wuxian hard enough, but he still feels righteous.

(more after the cut)

Here Wei Wuxian asks a question that shows the fundamental difference between himself and Wen Zhuliu. In many ways they are similar: neither of them was born into their clan. Both were appreciated by the clan leader and placed in high positions. Both feel an obligation to those clan leaders. When Wei Wuxian asks "why do other people have to pay for your gratitude?" he's foreshadowing the moment when Jiang Cheng demands the death of the Dafan Wens.  

Wen Zhuliu doesn't hesitate to murder people because his clan leader wants him to. Whereas Wei Wuxian doesn't hesitate to pay a terrible price--his golden core-for his gratitude to Jiang Fengmian. But he won't let the Dafan Wens pay the price of his continued membership in the Jiang clan; he chooses exile while Wen Zhuliu chooses murder.

Wei Wuxian is done talking and very very slowly brings his flute into position and starts to play. Wen Zhuliu doesn't make a move to stop him, but he might be frozen in place...everything happens at weird speeds in this scene.

Lan Wangji is super horrified when he sees what Wei Wuxian is doing with his flute. So horrified, in fact, that by the time they are face to face, he's moved past any other emotion.

Lady in Red

As Wei Wuxian plays the flute, the camera moves around him (or they spin him on a turntable) and the scenery around him shifts to a 360 view of...the burial mounds! That's so fucking cool! 

You can take the boy out of the graveyard but you can't take the graveyard out of the boy. He is carrying it within him now.

He summons up the hottest ghost lady ever, to scratch the shit out of the Wens with her fancy fingernails. She's all in red, not the dark Wen red, but super-saturated bridal red. 

She's not dressed as a bride, but she is very pretty and the color is awesome, particularly when she turns into red smoke. Presumably having actual ghosts attacking people is ok with the censor board as long as they are pretty ladies in nice clothes, since there are two in this episode and this one is absolutely definitely a non-corporeal being when she wants to be.

Camera Operator: What did I ever do to you?

She fights with Wen Zhuliu, who tries to put his core-melting hand on her, unsuccessfully, and then figures out that Wei Wuxian is the better target, so tries to put his core-melting hand on him. 

Wen Zhuliu, you need to have some different moves! Not everybody has a core for you to melt.

Zidian’s Revenge

As soon as Wen Zhuliu targets Wei Wuxian the boys break in from the rooftop, with Jiang Cheng snapping Zidian up over a rafter and down around Wen Zhuliu's neck in a single move, and then hauling him up and hanging him. 

This is a pretty gratifying moment; Jiang Cheng finally gets his vengeance using the weapon his mother gave him before this fucker killed her. He also gets to come back at the guy who melted his core and kill him with a spiritual weapon. All around nice work, Jiang Cheng.

Meanwhile, Lan Wangji initially placed himself between Wen Zhuliu and Wei Wuxian, which is a pretty strong show of devotion, given that his chest was directly in line with Wen Zhuliu's hand. 

He watches intently while Wen Zhuliu dies...Lan Wangji is actually a pretty vengeful guy, isn't he? He's not into torture but he seems to like executing bad people, and he enjoys chopping off arms a whole lot.

Welcome Back

Having disposed of Wen Zhuliu, Team Where The Fuck Have You Been is ready to greet Wei Wuxian. This is Lan Wangji as he prepares to turn around and face him. 

This is not "relieved that my soulmate is ok" or even "feeling betrayed because you didn't even send me a text." This is cold, hard, fury. He's plowed right past relief and joy into full on disgust and vehemence.

Jiang Cheng is also pissed at him, but he's so used to being pissed at him that it's not a remarkable emotion, and it passes quickly. He gives him his sword, calls him a prick, punches him in the shoulder while Lan Wangji looks grumpy Wang Yibo tries very hard not to smile, and fails. 

Then Jiang Cheng gives Wei Wuxian an enormous squishy hug. 

Wei Wuxian, who has probably wanted that hug for the past decade, does not return it, and looks stricken, eventually raising his flute hand behind Jiang Cheng's back.

Lan Wangji glares at him while Jiang Cheng hugs him, and then shifts to glare at the flute.

Let's talk about Lan Wangji's body language here. This scene is often talked about, including by OP, as "Wei Wuxian picks a fight with Lan Wangji in order to push him away." But since their very early days,Lan Wangji's nonverbal communication has been an essential component of his relationship with Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian has been reading his microexpressions from the very start, and he's the only one besides Lan Xichen who does that. 

Lan Wangji's anger and disapproval are written all over his face and posture, so much so that even a casual observer can tell what he's feeling.  For Wei Wuxian, with his extreme awareness and having shared actual literal telepathy with the guy previously, this has got to feel like Lan Wangji is screaming at him.

Lan Wangji is the one picking this fight. Wei Wuxian is trying to defuse it by giving him time to calm down before engaging. For perhaps the first time since meeting him, Wei Wuxian ignores Lan Wangji to focus on Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng asks him a bunch of questions and Wei Wuxian slides out from under most of them, giving half answers, non-answers, and what All The President's Men calls a non-denial denial.

Wei Wuxian, who is adept at sounding like he's speaking truth when he is lying, here sounds like he's lying when he's speaking something very close to the truth. He spins a particularly outrageous-sounding tale of finding a cave and learning an ultimate power there...but that's actually what he actually did, actually.  Xue Yang does this "lie so much that the truth now sounds like a lie" thing by accident, years later in Yi City, but Wei Wuxian is using it as a deliberate tactic to hide the truth from his brother. Which is basically his main occupation at this point.  

He acts offended that Jiang Cheng doesn't believe him, but he does it playfully to cast everything in the conversation as a joke.

Lan Wangji is not as inclined to accept utter codswallop as Jiang Cheng is, and he has already figured out an important underlying layer of the situation--the turn away from the way of the sword--while not seeing the very bottom layer, the "I don't have a golden core" layer.  

Unfortunately, he continues to be judgy and pissed off. He says "Wei Ying" gently enough, but his body is braced for conflict. 

Wei Wuxian looks at him wearily and stands up to have the fight Lan Wangji is asking for.

Maybe you were right But baby I was lonely I don't want to fight I'm tired of being sorry

I'm standing in the street Crying out for you No one sees me But the silver moon

Soundtrack: 1. Sympathy for the Devil, The Rolling Stones 2. Tired of Being Sorry, by Ringside

Writing Prompt: Who is the lady in red and what is her deal?

[alexkablob]

If cost weren’t an issue would retrieval and dismantling of the derelict satellites be a viable option?

If cost weren't an issue a lot of things would be viable in space. Unfortunately, cost is the biggest issue.

But if we're still talking mega constellations specifically they'll eventually decay and fall back into the atmosphere just like anything in that low an orbit. (Anything that low, including the ISS, is still technically within the atmosphere and experiences a tiny amount of drag, in addition to the inherent shifting of orbits over time, because the Earth isn't the only thing exerting gravity on something in Earth orbit.) If we're talking about stuff farther out there's reserved graveyard orbits that you move a satellite into when retiring it.

[arandompostarchive]

Inure Ch. 5

SAVED WORK

Summary: To some, The Specter is a serial killer. To some, a hero. But to everyone, you were entirely a mystery. You had no history, just a list of victims a mile long. No matter how many people searched your name, they could find anything. If only they had the spelling right. Now, you’ve come across some unfortunate information that drives you out of your usual shadows and into the path of the Avengers. Including two of the more reclusive members of the team. And it’s hard to pick only one of them.

***

Since Loki was not allowed to return to Asgard, he had to send Thor to get any books on telepathy. Thor wasn’t the best at that though and hadn’t returned with much of anything. So, with his limited resources he relied on you for help. Which wasn’t going well.

Tony was busy trying to tell Hastings’ blood apart from a normal person, though you doubt he was having any luck. Most likely, he and Bruce were doing more research on the skin and blood samples you gave them. You hadn’t had a proper lab to research yourself in, so you weren’t complaining.

You and Loki decided to meet in your room instead of downstairs. Neither of you wanted to have the entire team staring at you.

He made good company. He was on the more quiet side, even when you were alone. Not that you minded. Sometimes reading in each other’s company was exactly what you needed. But now you were attempting to teach him telepathy. Key word ‘attempting’.

“It’s fairly simple. You just focus on someone and sort of… let yourself into their head.” You were doing your best to explain, but you’d never really had to teach someone before. “The more willing they are, the easier it gets. Or if they don’t know, that’ makes it easy too.” Loki was doing his best to listen, but you could tell you weren’t helping much.

“Sorry, I’m not used to teaching someone else. I’m not used to ‘magic’ either.”

He laughed a bit. “I understand. But you’ve clearly been using magic for a long time, just look at your eyes.”

You were confused for a moment. Was he joking? Maybe you were supposed to laugh… “I’ve never used magic in my life.”

He seemed confused at your statement. “What do you mean? You read minds and there is clearly an illusion over your eyes.”

You understood a bit more now. Since you died, your eyes seemed to be the one thing that didn’t come back properly. To be honest, you hadn’t looked at them in years, so you didn’t remember much. You just knew it wasn’t a pretty picture, but they still worked just fine so you didn’t care. You hadn’t even realized you were using an illusion.

“There is? Are you sure it’s magic?”

Loki seemed to consider your words. “Well, I suppose not, but I’ve never seen a non-magic user cast illusions.”

“Well, my eyes are less than pretty. And I have used illusions to camouflage myself before. I just didn’t realize I was doing it subconsciously.”

Loki and you had come to an unspoken agreement to be friends. You had seen him around the tower. When he attacked New York, he earned a status as the villain, and he hadn’t yet broken out of it. You and him were in similar situations. It started with reading the same books and talking about it, then watching TV together in silence. Neither of you understood the references or some of the jokes, but it was more about being in the presence of another person. A judgement free zone. Both of you had pasts you’d rather not talking about, and being together was a silent agreement to not speak about it. You were thankful to have someone accepting.

Your mind drifted to Bucky. Another accepting person in the tower. He was a bit of a different story. He was once a ‘villain’, yes, but that wasn’t really him. You on the other hand have made all of your own decisions since the beginning. He did seem to understand your reasoning and neither of you talked about the fact that you’re probably on several FBI lists, which was exactly the way you liked it. You didn’t have to talk about all the blood and death.

“I’m sure your eyes look beautiful.” The small compliment made you smile. Loki didn’t seem to notice how kind he was being to you, or he probably would’ve dialed it down a bit. But you weren’t complaining about seeing Loki’s softer side. From what you knew about him, it was a side he hadn’t shown in years.

He was probably just happy that you weren’t eager to show up on any hero’s radar, so he was likely never to see you again after all this had calmed down. He could say whatever he liked and could be certain no one would ever hear anything about it. Who were you going to tell? The rats living in your old apartment?

He was still focused on your eyes and whatever subconscious illusion you had projected over them. When you died, they looked like gray, rotten messes. It was the one part of you that hadn’t completely regenerated. Maybe you needed a few more years in the ground.

“They make me look weird. Not exactly disgusting, but just… off-putting. I haven’t thought about it in a while, really. I never met someone who could see through my illusions.”

Loki pressed his hand to your cheek in a comforting manner. It had been a good 70 years since you’d had any normal human contact besides a handshake or the occasional victim grabbing at you in an attempt to ask for mercy. Normally, you’d shy away from any human contact, but the feeling of his cool skin against your cheek was calming.

If you really focused, you could see a blue tint to his skin. It looked odd, like some sort of false projection. It made you wonder if he was using an illusion too. So, you took a shot in the dark.

“You’re using one too, right?” You were hoping you were right, otherwise you were in for an awkward explanation.

“What?” He said, pulling his arm down. You inwardly frowned at the loss of contact. His cold skin was cooling down your face. It was an odd sensation that you somewhat enjoyed.

“Illusions. You’re using one too, right?” You asked again. You could see him stiffen a bit. To most people, it looked like a simple flinch. But you had been dealing with liars and criminals for decades, you knew how to spot mannerisms. “I’m right then.” You said.

“Yes, you are.”

He seemed to have pulled back. You hit some kind of nerve. His stance stiffened and he seemed more guarded. Not that you blamed him. You decided to shift the topic a bit, maybe distract him from whatever thoughts he was having.

“Well, I say I’d actually teach you. Might as well give it another go.” He quietly agreed and went to sit down on your couch. You joined him and faced him, ready to give teaching another go. You walked toward the couch, crossing your legs and waiting for Loki to join you. He walked over and did the same, facing you.

“Alright, let’s try again. It’s sort of like creating a doorway into someone’s mind and then letting yourself in. I’m not really sure how else to explain.” You tried to think of ways to make this easier, but nothing was coming up. You had learned when you were young. It was a skill that had come naturally, no one had ever taught you.

“Perhaps a demonstration?” He asked, looking toward you.

“On who?” You responded. He didn’t seem like the type to want you rooting around in his head.

“Me. Trial by fire, I suppose.”

You nodded, closing your eyes to focus. It wasn’t difficult to read Loki’s mind, especially since he was willing to let you. “Like this” You said, hoping it would help. You opened your eyes to see Loki nodding before you backed out of his head. You hadn’t seen anything and you expected that he’d want to keep it that way.

“It’s a lot easier with a willing subject, so go ahead.” He took a breath before closing his eyes.

A minute or two passed before you felt anything. A small tingling sensation at the back of your head. Was this what it was like for everyone when you read their minds? Weird. Suddenly, you felt your surroundings change. You inhaled deeply, confused by your new surroundings.

It was dark. You swore you could feel mud beneath your shoes and the rain on your skin. Looking around, you recognized the place. A graveyard. More specifically, your graveyard.

You could see yourself a little ways away. Lifting three men up over a grave. You could barely hear one of them say, “Your eyes. What the hell happened to your eyes?” You took a few steps closer, hoping to see yourself. Once you got a better view, you could see them for yourself.

You got closer to the group. You could see the pile of bodies next to them and you could spot your grave just behind them.

Your eyes looked gray, almost like they were rotting out of your head. The sight repulsed you. It looked disgusting and you couldn’t focus on the conversation Old You was having with the murderers.

“Where are we?” You heard a voice from beside you and you flinched, forgetting about Loki and training. Right. Training.

“My mind, I assume.” You sounded distracted. “Looks like you went in too far. I think it’s time to get out of my head.” You said quickly, hoping to leave before Loki would witness you murder people 20 years ago. The list of weird things happening to you just seems to get longer by the day.

“Right, I’m just not certain how to,” Loki said. You turned to look at him. The rain had plastered his hair to his forehead, the shoulder-length locks blocking his vision. Every so often he’d have to move the hair aside to see. There was something sweet about the image. If you weren’t stuck in your memories about to witness your first triple murder, you might’ve cared more.

Your own hair was getting in your eyes as the rain poured down hard. You didn’t remember it raining this much. “Okay, take a deep breath and do the same thing you did before, but now you’re leaving. It’s just exiting through that door you made.” You were anxious to leave as you could see your conversation wrapping up. You inwardly cursed when you saw Loki looking too.

Then, you heard gurgled screaming and choking, the sound of you killing the men. Shit. You thought, hoping Loki might not understand what just happened. Old You straightened out the women’s bodies before walking away. The blood almost reached the two of you as it was slowly washed away by the rain. You tried to step away with Loki. The rain turned the nice black dress Old You was wearing into a darker shade.

“What was that?” Loki asked, seeming surprised. Admittedly, you expected a stronger reaction than the one you were getting, but if it meant he’d forget this ever happened, you’d go with it.

“We need to leave. Close your eyes and take a breath, then walk out through the door.” Loki looked back over to Old You who was now walking toward the two of you, staring straight ahead. He allowed the subject to change and closed his eyes. The room once again changed and you both were back on the couch, legs crossed and eyes closed.

“Well, not bad.” You started, feeling a bit dizzy from the sudden invasion. “You might not want to dig that far, though. People don’t tend to appreciate when others go through their thoughts.” You were slightly frustrated. He had gone looking through things he had no business seeing. But on the other hand, he was new at this and you said you were alright with being his subject. He didn’t mean to go through your head. Hopefully.

“I apologize. I need to work on this. But…” He paused for a second. “What was that?”

“A memory. You know what I do to criminals. Those were criminals.” You weren’t ashamed of what you did, though the heroes would find it disgusting. You didn’t want your temporary friend to see you murder people. He would find it a lot less admirable than you would.

Loki nodded. “All criminals?” He asked. You heard the unspoken question. You considered yourself a good judge of character. After all, it became your job to know people. You understood how they worked and you knew bad people. In the time you spent with Loki, he didn’t act the same as them.

“I wouldn’t kill you, if that’s what you’re asking.” You said, your expression calm. He nodded again, accepting your answer. “Let’s try again. This time, try a little more restraint.” You said jokingly, closing your eyes once again.

By the end of your training session, Loki had improved. He was hardly an expert and even Wanda’s abilities were far more advanced than his. He’d get better with time, but that was something you didn’t have. And you certainly weren’t the best teacher out there.

***

Unfortunately for Fury and the Avengers, they forgot to make you promise not to find targets during your stay and the tower and you had managed to find a new one in New York. You were fully expecting the Captain to send someone over once they realized you were missing, but you could finish off a target before then. It was a fairly straightforward one. A low-level criminal who had been responsible for a string of murders.

You had heard about him from the news. The police weren’t recognizing it as a serial killer to keep the public from panicking, but you decided to do your own research. It was easy to connect him to all of them and find some evidence that he was guilty. Sadly, you had gotten all of this information illegally, so you decided to take care of him yourself. Just because you were sleeping somewhere else didn’t mean you’d let someone get away with murder.

It also helped that he had connections to your last target. In your (illegal) research, you had found one of the SPECTR files in his house. Though you were sure he wasn’t your shapeshifting mastermind, he might’ve known something, making him a perfect target.

***

“Yeah, she’s here.” Bucky said through the com. He heard Steve sigh on the other side.

“Well, try to stop her, but don’t anger her too badly. Without her helping, I don’t know if we’re going to find our guy.” Bucky nodded, though Steve wasn’t able to see him. Loki responded for him.

“The Sergeant is nodding. May I ask, why exactly are you sending us?” Loki was well aware that the team viewed him as untrustworthy, and he understood why. That, and he was still technically on ‘house arrest’ in Midgard, so the team rarely let him out of the tower.

In all fairness, they had sent both Bucky and Natasha with him, so he was still heavily guarded. Over time, he had come to respect the power each team member held, though he was certain he could beat most of them in hand to hand combat.

“She’s actually become friends with you three. If we were to send Tony in there, it’d be a whole different story.” Steve said. A faint “hey!” was heard in the background, but the small team paid no mind to it.

“We’ll be back out soon.” Natasha said.

“The car is ready when you are.” Steve said. He stopped talking and the group walked into the rundown apartment. It certainly wasn’t the cleanest of places and it looked like the perfect hideout for a serial killer. Eventually, they came to a long hall that branched out in different ways.

“Split up. If anyone finds her, don’t piss her off, it won’t go well. I’m pretty sure that woman can take a shot to the head, so she won’t care what weapons you have. She’s essential to saving who knows how many people so don’t get her mad.” The two men nodded before taking a different way and separating.

Loki traveled further down the hallway, doing his best to find you. Then, a thought crossed his mind. He had spent a good few hours in your mind, it couldn’t be that hard to find you, right?

He tried reopening the same door from earlier. He wasn’t a fan of learning analogies, but it seemed to be working so he didn’t question it.

“Spectr?”

He tried to find you in the building. He heard a sigh echo in his head, “This way.” You said, and he started walking forward. He wasn’t entirely certain where he was going, but he assumed you were leading him.

Soon enough, he ended up in one of the rooms. It was dusty and he could see how cobwebs coated the corners of the room. There was one dim light on the other side of the room. It was barely enough to see and the long shadows it cast across the room weren’t helping.

“We can go now anyway. I’m done.” You said, wiping a small knife on something below you. As he got closer, he could see it was the body of a… man? At least he thought it was. There wasn’t much to go off of since almost everything looked mangled. He was completely silent.

He had killed in his life. Plenty of times, actually. He’d fought beside his brother and his friends for hundreds of years and had destroyed a good part of New York not too long ago. But this felt different. And despite the mangled dead body right in front of him, he couldn’t help but wonder if you were okay.

“If you think this is bad, you should see his victims. Poor girls can’t even be identified with teeth.” You mistook his silence for disgust. Not to say he wasn’t unsettled.

“Are you alright?” He asked slowly, trying to spot any wounds on you. It was hard in the light, but you caught the glimpse of a gun in the dead man’s hands, so he was worried.

You stared at him. “You’re worried about me?” Loki nodded. In all honesty, he didn’t know why either. He hadn’t met you all that long ago and most of your time was spent silently reading books. But that’s what was fun. There were so few people who would sit and enjoy their time with him. Most people only put up with him, or spent the entire time trying to drag him out of his room. With you, it was quiet. But the good kind of quiet.

The kind of quiet that two friends can enjoy together. And it was that moment where he felt the tiniest spark. A small voice in the back of his mind that said “can we be more than that?”

And he wasn’t really sure what to think. Love had never gone well for him. On Asgard, he was an outcast. Anyone he fell for found him off-putting. And the people who did spend time with him only did so because they were friends with Thor or because he was royalty. He wasn’t sure he’d ever had a real friend. And now, he’d known you for barely two weeks and he only wanted to spend more time with you.

He wouldn’t call it love. Not yet. Even if it was, he was far from ready for something like that. This was more of a deep admiration. And a need to find out how soft your lips were.

So, he stared at you. There was blood on your chin. Only a small amount. You were standing over a corpse holding a knife and looking a bit malicious. But he didn’t care much.

“Well, the bastard got a few shots in, that’s for sure. You guys have a medical wing, right? I’m gonna need some tools. My wounds are already healing and I’m pretty sure there’s a few bullets still stuck.” You laughed. He reached up to his com, alerting the others that he had found you before escorting you outside.

You were more than uncomfortable. You were certain you had a few bullets in your arm, or maybe your stomach. You knew he hit you, but you weren’t really certain where.

“Spectr, you can’t do that.” Steve said from inside the car. Bucky was driving the group back with Loki in the front seat. Tony and Natasha had taken a different car.

“Actually, you never made me promise not to. And to be honest, even if I had promised, I still would’ve done it. He killed people Steve. Eight people actually. Only two have been identified. That’s how bad he left them.” You said, trying to get him to understand. “I’m letting someone like that walk free.” He didn’t say anything the rest of the ride.

He wasn’t happy with you. And he definitely wasn’t happy that a man was dead. But he knew the kind of people you targeted. However low-level, these weren’t good people.

Before you went to the medical wing, escorted by Bucky, you shoved a folder in his hand. He didn’t immediately recognize the language on the front, but upon opening it he saw pictures of you and Peggy. He smiled, tracing the image. They were old pictures. She looked the same as when he met her, and judging by the dates scribbled under some of the images, it was only a month or two before then. There were a few pictures of Howard there as well. One of the pictures was in a lab-like area and he could spot a few different shields in the background. It almost made him laugh. He was so close to meeting you and he never even knew you existed. Life was funny that way.

He read over the few pages that were in English. Whatever language it was, he certainly didn’t speak it. He’d have to ask Friday to translate. He didn’t notice something pop up repeatedly, even on the foreign pages. It looked like a signature, “Alter”.

With you in the medical wing, he figured it’d be best if he asked Tony about it first. He didn’t recognize the name at all, and Bucky was with you in the medical wing. He doubted Bucky would knew either.

“Friday?” He called.

“Yes, Captain Rogers?”

“Call a team meeting. Don’t Bucky and Spectr though, the sooner she finishes up with her wounds the better.”

“They’re on their way now.”

He nodded and began walking toward the meeting room. He passed by the medical ward quickly, just to make sure you weren’t severely hurt. He could see you stitching up your own wounds and he cringed a bit, not liking the thought of doing that for himself. He concluded that you were fine with Bucky.

The two of you were laughing actually. He headed back up to the briefing room, leaving Bucky to look after you instead.

***

[the-writing-mill]

assassin au with the "making a deal to save the other" and jangobi?

Okay, this one’s actually even a bit longer than the other one, so it’s going under a read more lol

Jango is a merc/bounty hunter/assassin guy, Obi-Wan is an information broker with an editing cover job and a “rental property” to embezzle money

These two have never met, and have no idea about each other’s identities beyond knowing their underground reputations, until Jango is hired to assassinate Obi-Wan’s little brother, Anakin

Obi-Wan is visiting Anakin for the weekend on the day of the planned assassination, and notices things are a little off, setting off all of his learned criminal world/underground alarms

(Anakin, btw, is a part time mechanic, part time engineering student. Obi-Wan has very carefully kept the boy out of his world since becoming Anakin’s official guardian after their adoptive father, Qui-Gon Jinn, died in an accident)

Obi-Wan gets paranoid enough after spending an evening with Anakin that he fakes a pillow body in the guest room and sets himself up in the living room to guard

This is somewhat fortunate for him when an apparent burglar (who moves much too professionally and dangerously) breaks in through a window near silently

Jango barely has half a second of realizing something’s up before being side tackled

The fight is pretty intense, if odd for being so quiet, since they both coincidentally don’t want Anakin to wake up (at some point Obi-Wan manages to get Jango’s ski mask off)

In the end, Obi-Wan ends up pinned under Jango, hands restrained above his head, knife against his throat, straddled

Jango grumbles sardonically about how Obi-Wan couldn’t make Jango’s job easier and just sleep through the night and call the police in the morning, tipping Obi-Wan off to the man being there for Anakin instead of him

Obi-Wan is, of course, a self-sacrificing idiot and gets Jango’s attention by wondering out loud about what a small-time mechanic going through school could have done to get a high-level assassin sent after him

(Jango’s plan, as Obi-Wan has figured out, was to stage a break in/burglary and wake Anakin up and kill him in the resulting “fight” to make it look like the burglar had killed Anakin in the heat of the moment)

With the man under him clearly having figured out too much, Jango decides he’ll have to kill him too, but first thinks it’s worth learning what gave him away

There’s a bit of back and forth until Obi-Wan is able to piece together who exactly Jango is (should his assassin name be Mythosaur? I think that would be fun and the “myth” bit can refer to his work being so subtle and Jango being such an unknown outside of his assassin rep)

Now, someone figuring out exactly who Jango is an even bigger no-no, so Jango goes right for the kill

Jango doesn’t manage to kill Obi-Wan before Obi-Wan offers a deal (didn’t think I’d take “making a deal to save the other” this way, did you?)

Jango’s pressing a blade into Obi-Wan’s neck enough to draw blood but finds himself intrigued enough to let the man talk for another few seconds (Obi-Wan really is quite the negotiator)

Obi-Wan offers free information for life, basically, and to be support for a set number of missions a year. In exchange, Jango won’t kill Anakin and will let Obi-Wan find Jango’s client and kill the client to nullify the contract (and prevent Jango’s rep from being tarnished)

It’s an utterly absurd proposal but also clearly made with knowledge of the underground, so Jango of course asks who Obi-Wan thinks he is to make that kind of offer

Jango finds himself reluctantly impressed by Obi-Wan’s identity (I have no idea what his underworld identity is, but I don’t it to be “The Negotiator”) and finds himself considering the deal, which Obi-Wan catches onto and he manages to convince Jango

(Part of the final deal includes the fact that Jango technically has two more months per his contract to carry out the hit. If Obi-Wan can’t find the client by then, Jango will kill Anakin anyways. Obi-Wan is desperately confident that he can do it, despite Jango having basically zero info beyond the contract and a clearly shell company in Hong Kong to wire the money to)

Jango gets Obi-Wan to give him a glut of information over the next few weeks, to the point of them spending a few hours in a private booth/room in a very private club so Obi-Wan can safely give it all to him. Obi-Wan is both desperate to meet expectations and tries his best; and is also very annoyed at getting pulled away from hunting down who’s trying to kill Anakin and therefore sasses Jango quite a bit.

Obi-Wan is really having trouble figuring out who wants to kill Anakin, finally giving in and starting from the other end, Anakin himself. Why would someone want to kill Anakin? Specifically why would the sort of person who can find and hire Jango want to kill Anakin? This is in some ways even harder to figure out, but Obi-Wan has many more leads and information to access

After a few weeks of this dynamic, the first change is when Jango and Obi-Wan end up complaining about a mutual acquaintance during an info drop off, which leads to more mutual bitching

Then Jango drags Obi-Wan across the country (we’re just going to assume we were in like… NYC or Chicago before) to assist him in another assassination in LA

Obi-Wan is somewhat tempted to get Jango caught, since that would be an easy way to save Anakin, but decides against it for multiple reasons (including a few that he will not yet acknowledge, including developing fondness for Jango and, even worse, the first few seeds of trust)

So instead of going to prison, Jango returns from a smooth assassination to an already half-drunk Obi-Wan, shirt very scandalously unbuttoned halfway down

The have a nice night of just drinking and relaxing and then wake up the next morning curled around each other in bed (they didn’t have sex, as the lack of certain types of soreness and their clean, still on, pants from the night before prove. But they still have the knowledge and a few sensations of sleeping together with their guards down)

When they get back, things are a little awkward, but it’s fine, they’re professionals, so they’ll keep meeting to keep up their deal. Obi-Wan keeps giving Jango any info he wants, and they keep accidentally falling back into their habits of doing things like complaining about mutual acquaintances who annoy them

Obi-Wan is also making some headway with investigating who wants to kill Anakin, finding many questionable decisions on Anakin’s part, especially regarding friends/social circle, but not anyone who would be able to hire Jango that would dislike Anakin

With about a week and a half left, and leads running out, Obi-Wan starts to freak out a little, which Jango notices, which in turn makes Jango realize that he doesn’t like Obi-Wan being stressed out and afraid and tense and looking at Jango like he’s a cat about to pounce on a wounded canary

But Jango also puts work before all else so when he has another job (coincidentally in the same city), Jango drags Obi-Wan with him, unfortunately making the mistake to literally bring Obi-Wan with him

When Jango starts cursing about the job going to hell part way through a shoot-out, Obi-Wan casually comments that it’s not even that bad, prompting a sass battle between the two of them while they’re still fighting their actual opponents where Jango realizes that Obi-Wan, as brilliant as he is, has the worst on-the-ground luck ever

In the end, they win, with a very damaged, limping vehicle that they, for handwavey reasons, need to get to some spot that the car won’t make it to as is. Thus, they have to go slide into the mechanic shop Anakin’s working the graveyard shift for

Obi-Wan really does hate, in many ways, finally having his two worlds collide, bringing Jango and the shot-out car directly to Anakin, and is almost distracted from how bad he feels about it when Jango tries to comfort him

Jango is, thankfully, a very good actor, and Anakin is a bit oblivious. He very easily starts clumsily probing Jango about what Obi-Wan and Jango quickly figure out Anakin thinks is a romantic relationship between them (and, to be fair, Obi-Wan has been acting strange, and spending much more time “with a friend” in the past two months or so)

At some point, Obi-Wan gets so uncomfortable with the idea that he and Jango are in a romantic relationship that he makes what is, to him and Jango, a mistake, and draws attention to the bullet holes again

Jango vaguely looks like he wants to kill Obi-Wan while Anakin casually explains it’s not that big of a deal, although he might have to find a better patch if this sort of thing keeps happening

This stops any murder plans Jango was making, and any counter plans Obi-Wan was making in favor of carefully probing Anakin to figure out when else he had fixed a bullet ridden car

Anakin reveals pretty easily that his engineering school’s dean, Sidney Palpatine (Sidney=Sid-=Sidious lol) had dropped in about two and a half months ago with a car in similar condition. As well as a few other people that Anakin describes well enough for Jango and Obi-Wan to identify as members of a local crime organization and a private army (like Blackwater/Academi), as well as mention a weird package in the trunk

This is clearly the who and why for Jango getting hired to assassinate Anakin, but they both play it cool until Anakin’s done and they can go on their way to drop off the vehicle

Cue Obi-Wan having a panic attack, which freaks Jango out quite a bit, since he’s so used to Obi-Wan being very calm and controlled and not showing vulnerability. Obi-Wan even gets outwardly angry

Cue Jango’s “oh. Oh.” moment

Jango basically drags a near catatonic Obi-Wan back to the apartment he’s been staying in and drugs him to sleep (in Jango’s mind, if Obi-Wan was too out of it to notice a drugged drink, then he clearly had no more business staying awake)

By the time Obi-Wan wakes up and starts panicking, less than yesterday (thanks to a good night’s sleep), Jango has some basic information on the legal and illegal lives of Palpatine, and a few half-formed assassination plans

Jango also has toast. Which he makes Obi-Wan eat. Obi-Wan grumps about not having been forced to eat breakfast since he was a teen. Cue a small sassy back and forth that further calms Obi-Wan down

Jango offers to kill Palpatine for free, which startles Obi-Wan because that is not how the criminal underworld works. Jango half-heartedly puts forth some logic about how Obi-Wan succeeding with their deal means that Jango gets to keep the best information broker on his side. Obi-Wan can tell that that isn’t all, and recognizes that Jango is probably being kind, but won’t outright admit it

They eventually decide on a plan where Anakin will bring Obi-Wan with him to go visit dean Palpatine who he’s friends with, and that Obi-Wan will bring some poisoned tea in a travel to mug to share. Anakin will refuse the tea, being Anakin, and Obi-Wan and Palpatine will both drink the poison. Obi-Wan will have the antidote (either disguised as something innocuous or to be taken during a bathroom break) and cure himself before there are any symptoms, leaving Palpatine to die of what will look like a natural heart attack

The plan goes awry, due to Kenobi luck, when Anakin accidentally has them barge in while Palpatine is meeting with another criminal. Cue a fight in the office, a secret passage, and more criminals to fight while Jango scrambles to get to the new location to help

Obi-Wan manages to actually word his way into delaying their defeats and deaths until Jango gets there. Jango manages to take out about half of the enemies before he gets defeated/captured as well

At this point Obi-Wan tries to make a deal again, to save Anakin and Jango. It seems to work/Palpatine seems interested, only for him to pull the rug out and basically say he’ll be either killing all three or making them wish they were dead, including some conjecture about Obi-Wan’s looks (aka sexual slavery)

Cue Jango getting incensed enough to break free again and start fighting again. He gets to Obi-Wan, frees him, and thus ensues a battle couple take down from the cheesiest of action flicks

In the end, Palpatine is the last one standing. Before either of them (or Anakin, who is beginning to get over his shock) can kill Palpatine, he runs away. Jango, Obi-Wan, and a confused Anakin give chase, stopping at the end of an alley as they realize that Palpatine has been hit by a bus

Jango and Obi-Wan drag Anakin through a convoluted path back to Obi-Wan’s apartment and confirm that, yes, Palpatine died. Jango and Obi-Wan quickly confirm that there’s nothing linking them to the crime scene (Palpatine had told his secretary that Anakin and Obi-Wan had left out the back when he realized he was going to have to kill them, giving them an alibi)

Obi-Wan and Jango tell Anakin a mostly true story and prod Anakin to decide to go back to [insert some place here] and live with some half-distant bio relatives (the Lars family), maybe finish his degree online

Cut to a few months later, Obi-Wan is reading an update text from Anakin before Jango comes into the room. Obi-Wan gives him a good luck kiss before sending Jango out to his job, reminding him that “I’ve always got your back”, Jango responds in kind, Obi-Wan accepts this/informs Jango that he knows before letting Jango drag him into another kiss

[kurokensimp]

Warnings: Heavy angst, anxiety attack, major character death.

Note: Texts in italics and crossed are text messages. Texts in just italics are flashbacks.

SUNFLOWER~

Koutarou.

Come quick.

It's Kuroo.

That day Kenma ran, as if, if he didn't, he'd lose his heart forever.

It was the day Kuroo had gifted Kenma a kitten, as he'd always wanted one, but would never make it obvious. Typical Kenma. A smile crept up on his face, reminiscing on the golden days. Kenma was smiling in that picture and Kuroo's heart ached looking at that bright smile. It was a rare smile and he was glad it was only reserved for him. A smile which made the sides wrinkled and sadness forgotten. A smile from the sunflower of his life. Everyone had a sun or star in their life but no one appreciated flowers and that made Kuroo sad. He fucking adored sunflowers, just like he adored Kenma. He still remembered how he didn't sleep that night and instead spent it with Nisshoku (meaning:eclipse). He was matte black in colour and both of them had fallen for him on the first sight. He felt his eyes stinging lightly and slowly caressing the picture stuck on the wall,took in a deep breath. His eyes moved onto another picture.

It was the last picture he had taken with Kenma as a third year in Nekoma. Kenma was super moody that day, not wanting to talk to anyone. Including Kuroo himself. He chuckled lightly. Kenma was super awful at showing his emotions but Kuroo knew him well enough to understand his feelings without words needed. He knew how Kenma was not comfortable with confrontations and wording out his feelings and Kuroo didn't need them as long as he was next to his sunflower. As long as he was next to his sunflower....... He took in another shaky breath. Something odd caught his eye this time.

Shifting his eyes to........ a pocky sticks packet...? Kuroo examined it with a closer look and suddenly took in a sharp breath. He stood that way for a while, mind foggy, unable to construct basic sentences. He suddenly remembered Kenma specifically being interested in that one pocky packet those many months ago when........

His brain had become all soggy and the neurotransmitters and receptors had decided to stop functioning properly. He could feel a lump form at the back of his throat. How he had managed to not break down till now, he doesn't know. It was the day when they had shared their first clumsy kiss after Kuroo had teased Kenma by hooking onto his pocky and making him all flustered. He loved to tease Kenma. However, things got intense when Kenma didn't move back and instead initiated the kiss with the pocky stick in between, resulting in both of them choking on it. Nskakajakakakaa. Kuroo could never forget that day, seemed like neither could Kenma.

News reporter: A latest breaking news has come in stating how a train coming from Miyagi hit an eighteen year old boy who seemed to have been in a hurry, ignoring the level crossing and resulting in an unfortunate accident with the train. The boy has been identified as Kozume Kenma, a student of Nekoma High, also known to be the exceptional setter of the Nekoma volleyball team. His parents.........

The rest was drowned by Kuroo's racing thoughts and the oncoming anxiety attack. It felt as if he was falling down Tartarus, his heart taking days and ages to even reach the bottom. The fall was sucking the breath out of him as he felt his lungs constrict and twist. Every breath felt harsher and more painful as the milliseconds passed by. He knew no longer knew how 'normal' felt.

Screwing his eyes shut, he took in another shaky breath, as he went over the meaningless and hollow content of everyone's lines; "It wasn't your fault. Don't beat yourself up for it." His brain was wired differently...or maybe in the correct order because it WAS his fault. It was HIS OWN fault; and everyone sugarcoating it just did the part of the salt on his irrecoverable wound. He hated it. He hated himself and his supposed "pranks" and his arrogance and his definition of "light fun" and a world without his sunflower.

It was all just a prank... Or at least it was supposed to be. This one incident took away whatever sunny nature he had in himself, and maybe from Bokuto too. Bo was crushed beyond words and his emo time lasted more than two weeks. They were supposed to send a 'come quick' text, saying it was an emergency relating to Kuroo. Kuroo knew his sunflower loved him and didn't need to say it out loud. But his concerns stretched so far, he had never fanthomed. Maybe it would have been better if he hadn't love him so much. He would have been safe at least. Present in this cruel world at least. Kuroo hated how everyone thought that it was just Kenma, Kuroo would be fine.... How did one come up with such thoughts, he'd never know. He was baffled everytime seeing how shallow some people were. Just because he wasn't much of an enigma like Hinata or Kuroo himself, they thought so little of his sunflower. A tiny part of him was glad that his sunflower no longer needed to live amongst such people, but a major part of course left him beyond heartbroken.

Being in Kenma's room took more of an emotional toll than he had expected. What was he even expecting? His wall was littered with their pictures and tiny things which Kuroo had bought for him. The ones which couldn't be hung on the wall, went on his bedside table. It had been a while since he had come to Kenma's room, so it wasn't a surprise how it much it had changed. It has been a month now. It feels like only yesterday he saw the annoyed look on Kenma's face and feels like a whole year he lost Kenma at the same time. With heavy limbs, the same hands with which he played with Kenma's smooth hair and made different hairstyles, took everything off his wall, boxed them up and planned to take it with himself. Turning back to reach the door, his foot hit something and he shouldn't have looked down. He shouldn't have been here in the first place. He shouldn't have done anything.

Kenma's volleyball.

It was all it took for Kuroo's facade to break and his heart to finally snap. That day the room felt anguish and pain like no other time. Time crumbled around him as if not wanting to do anything with Tersurou Kuroo anymore. The room seemed to close in on him and his world started moving, his vision blurry and turning into tunnel vision, his heartbeat erratic, his breath shallow and breaking, his world tumbling, his sunflower crushing. That day he cried like he had no one to hold him, like his golden days ended forever, shutting the light from his life forever.

He missed his sunflower.

Placing the customary flowers on his grave, he sat down on the smooth grass. They stayed like that for a while, Kenma just out of reach and Kuroo finding it harder to stop himself from digging up the grave. The graveyard was silent, unlike his mind. Kuroo had never liked the silence, it reminded him of his mother's absence. It really was silly; an eighteen year old still becoming jittery in the silence because of his mother who disappeared years ago. But he never stopped to think of other's judgments which came so easily to them. Kenma always somehow knew all of Kuroo's weak spots and therefore always accompanied him everywhere, even if he didn't speak much. His presence had made up for it and he had found it comforting.... He dug his nails in his sweatshirt and hung his head between his legs. Everything stood still for a while, when he felt soft light taps on his bare hands. Squinting up at the white sky, he saw snowfall. His gaze was somewhere far off. He remembered Akaashi telling him how Winter signified death and loss. Alas, nature was weeping for his sunflower too. Or maybe not.

Kenma's mind was rattled while running that day. Death had halted his steps. Will he ever get peace?

The thought crushed Kuroo.

Mystified by the mocking nature of nature, he let the snow envelop him.

[friendofhayley]

It’s that time again! Thank you to all the fandom content creators for your art. Here are the best fics I read this month, and they’re all masterpieces. This rec includes 12 fics from the Teen Wolf and One Direction fandoms. The starred ones have made me forget my worries for a moment.

Sterek (Teen Wolf)

1. He’s…something by @acountrygirlsfun | shapeshifter Stiles - miscommunication - Derek doesn’t know how to show emotions - secret relationship - 22k

Stiles has to admit, keeping his secret under wraps is easier than he expected around his new-found werewolf friends.

Except for the Alpha that is never where he should be.

2. I Wanna Let Go And Know That I’ll Be Alright [orphaned] | bad Scott - healing - pre-Sterek - post-S5A - 21k

When Scott tells Stiles to ‘take a step back’ from pack life, Stiles takes it as an invitation to get his life back on track - sans the supernatural.

3. When the Universe Comes Knocking (It’s Polite to Open the Door) by @isthatbloodonhisshirt | high school crushes meet again! - oblivious boys - just KISS - secretary Stiles - 135k

It was like a door he’d nailed shut in his brain suddenly exploded open, all of his past confusion and anger and hurt and adoration flooding out at once. Stiles? Was it actually Stiles?!

Stiles, the guy he’d had a crush on for fucking years growing up. The guy who’d been an absolute dick to him their whole last year of high school.

The guy who’d told him he loved him in a dirty men’s bathroom on prom night while drunk and upset because he thought Kira was Derek’s girlfriend.

4. Your Love is Like an Ax to the Face (or, Plundering Hearts: Viking Edition) by @ghost-of-erica-reyes | college au - as slow burn as a 16k fic can be - enemies to friends to lovers - oblivious boys - 16k

In which Lydia is a ruthless walking fortune cookie, Scott is exposed to the relationship-curing potential of ménages-à-trois, and more importantly, Stiles is convinced he’s pissed off the wrong deity in Valhalla because the closest thing he gets to action is the weekly — and deadly — debates he has with his grumpy TA from History 201: Introduction to Vikings. All of this to Erica’s enjoyment.

Urgh, college.

5. I don’t need any help to be breakable (believe me) by @myhyperheart-alone | amnesia - so much fucking angst with a happy ending -  mutual pining - therapy - 35k

“He tried to kiss me.” “We know”, Scott says, placatingly, and Stiles rounds on him, fists clenched and eyes blazing. “No. No, you don’t”, he spits, “You have no idea.”

In which Derek has an accident and doesn’t remember anyone except Stiles.

6. *Ardently* by redpenny | regent au - chubby Stiles - disabled Derek - this is SO cute!!! - 13k

Mr Stilinski contends with the loss of his family’s funds, an unfortunate predilection for pastries, and an inconvenient attraction to this Season’s most eligible bachelor.

Lord Hale contends with a reluctant return to Society, hiding a war injury from meddling sisters, and the trials of courting a thoroughly oblivious young man.

7. *Puzzle Pieces* by @isthatbloodonhisshirt | can y’all believe the same author got 2 fics on here? I’m sorry for the notifications - and they were mates omg they were mates - ski resort - the boys are bad at communicating #surprise! - 89k

“Okay.” Stiles glanced at his phone, wincing at the battery being close to ten percent. It was probably time to call Scott. Turning off the flashlight, mostly to save battery and kind of freaking out over how dark it was—though the half-moon reflecting off the snow helped a bit—he opened his contacts with shaking hands and scrolled through to Scott’s name. Once he hit it, he put the phone to his ear, looking around, and froze.

The phone rang in his ear, but his eyes were locked on something big and moving through the trees.

Oh no. Oh no, no, no.

Larry (One Direction)

8. oh we’re in love aren’t we by @eeveelou | Harry is a trans man - college au - Harry is quirky and Louis loves it - so much fluff - 20k

Louis is trying to get through his second year of university while dealing with his three stupidly loud and stupidly in love roommates, a series of boring classes, and his job working the graveyard shift at his campus’s favorite drunk food shop. Harry is new to town and looking for somewhere to live when he finds a long-abandoned apartment that brings him right to Louis’s doorstep.

9. *a bright future behind you* by @socomicallygay | Orange is the New Black au - girl direction - there is a zourry threesome moment - this fic is hot hot hot and sweet sweet sweet - 12k

Orange is the New Black AU. Louis fucks a lot of people, Harry eats a lot of ass, Niall will smuggle a dildo to whomever gets more play, and Zayn thinks Harry and Louis should just make out already.

10. Say It First by rearviewdreamer | this so fucky angsty with a happy ending it had me yelling at Harry - groundhog day time travel - high school au - domestic fluff - 25k

When it comes to Louis, Harry feels like he has spent a lifetime getting it wrong, but on a chance night together where time mostly seems to be on his side, he gets the opportunity to try it all again. And again, and again, and again in an attempt to finally get it right before it’s too late.

11. A Real Work of Art by @lululawrence | high school au - childhood friends Larry - Harry is Marcel and soo oblivious - pure fluff - 11k

“I don’t understand,” Liam said for probably the fiftieth time in ten minutes. “You have to explain again how this is a bad thing.”

“Leeeeyummm,” Harry whined into the phone as he leaned his head onto his desk. “I felt like this year was my year for getting his attention, you know? That senior year I would finally get Logan Thompson to realize I exist! But he’s in almost every single one of my classes, Li. How am I supposed to survive that?”

“Easily,” Liam answered, with the same matter of fact tone his voice always took when Harry was in one of his fits. “He doesn’t know you exist, so it shouldn’t be a problem. Right?”

12. *gorgeous (it makes me so mad)* by resurrectdead | aaaaa Louis is such a scruff soft bad boy in this? like how he is in real life?? I’m dead??? - barista au - Clifford is the best wingdog - sexual tension - 29k

Harry’s a coffee barista with nothing really going on for him except for the occasional flirting with, some, particularly hot male customers. But when a new guy starts coming in, he suddenly doesn’t know what to make out of any single situation anymore.

[365days365movies]

February 2, 2021: Pretty Woman (1990)

ALL RISE FOR THE KING AND QUEEN OF ROMANCIA!

First, we bow to the Actor King of Romancia, Richard Gere. Gere is a DYNAMO of romantic movies, having starred in The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, American Gigolo, An Officer and a Gentleman, Sommersby, Autumn in New York, Chicago, Shall We Dance?, Runaway Bride, and of course, Pretty Woman. He was crowned king of this fictionation both because of his film prowess, and because DUDE HAS DATED A LOT OF FAMOUS PEOPLE GODDAMN

Second, we bow to the Actress Queen of Romancia, Julia Roberts.

Roberts’ resume is equally romantic, including films such as Notting Hill, My Best Friend’s Wedding, Eat Pray Love, Steel Magnolias, Mystic Pizza, Runaway Bride, and of course, Pretty Woman. She was crowned queen of this fictionation because, I mean...it’s Julia Roberts, man. Who else was gonna be queen, Meg Ryan? She’s too busy ruling the Holy Romance Empire.

Yes. Yes, I will be visiting the Holy Romance Empire soon.

Anyway, one of the advisors to this great land was the now sadly passed Garry Marshall, a seasoned romantic movie director, responsible for The Princess Diaries (and its terrible sequel), Beaches, Runaway Bride (shit, should I watch this one?), and those bad holiday romance movies from the late 2000′s. You know, Valentine’s Day, New Year’s Eve, Mother’s Day? Yeah, that’s the guy.

Marshall was appointed an advisor of Romancia because of his role as director of the film...you know.

Enough navel-gazing; let’s get into Pretty Woman, shall we? I, for one, am looking forward to venturing further into the land of Romancia! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

We start at a party where...George Costanza?

Huh! Phil Stuckey (Jason Alexander), a lawyer and kind of an asshole, is romancing women at a party, held on the behalf of Edward Lewis (Richard Gere), a businessman from New York. However, he’s currently in California away from his unhappy girlfriend back east, who’s feeling a tad neglected by the constantly busy Edward.

Meanwhile, on a less-than-great side of town lives Vivian Ward (Julia Roberts), a prostitute working the mean streets of Hollywood. Making her way to the red-light district, she enters the Blue Banana Club (which is...a name, that’s for sure), where she finds her roommate Kit De Luca (Laura San Giacomo). Laura’s unfortunately spent their rent on drugs, during the height of the cocaine epidemic in Hollywood.

The two meet each other on the street, where Edward’s lost, and struggling with Phil’s stick-shift Lotus Espirit. She offers to give him directions for money, and he reluctantly accepts. She gets in, and guides him back to his hotel. As he struggles to drive, she displays her knowledge of cars from back home. He then offers to drive the car for him, and also shows her prowess as a driver. Which...is pretty neat.

He asks how much she makes in her profession, as the two roll up to his hotel. As they begin to part ways, he asks her instead to accompany him into the hotel. She’s about as charmed and gawky as I would be going into a sick-ass hotel like that. The elevator in it has a FUCKING SOFA INSIDE, YES PLEASE

Edward’s a little embarrassed by her gawking, but they quickly get past it. Edward’s graveyard-still complacency is contrasted by her manic pixie energy. Not that she’s a manic pixie dream girl...I think. It’s more of a “rock-and-balloon” relationship deal. When Vivian busts out the condoms (she’s a “safety-girl”), Edward instead says he wants to “talk.”

During this talk, it’s revealed that his girlfriend has officially broken up with him, leaving him conspicuously single. He asks if she can stay the entire night, and she agrees for a price, to which he gladly agrees. They spend the night getting to know each other, although Edward is doing business during much of it. And she’s watching TV, and it gives off these kinda weird daddy-daughter vibes (not kink-shaming, mind you), and it’s...mildly uncomfortable.

This quickly progresses into her beginning to seduce him, and the two presumably have sex. We cut away just before anything happens, though. Afterwards, Edward takes a shower, as Vivian falls asleep, taking her wig off for the first time.

The next morning, Edward talks to Phil about an upcoming business purchase, when Vivian walks into the room. He’s ordered breakfast for them. ALL OF THE BREAKFAST. Seriously, everything on the menu. Motherfucker, do you KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE ROOM SERVICE IS? WE GET IT YOU’RE RICH

He reveals just how rich he is, noting that he buys companies on the brink of failure, and then sells pieces of the companies he buys. Vivian equates this to a chop-shop, which seems extremely accurate. On another call, Phil tells him that it would be better if he had a date. And it looks like...he already has one.

Yeah, Phil “hires” Vivian to be his girlfriend for a week. For $3000, she accepts, and I feel just a little icky. And yet...I dunno, we’ll see. He’s doing this purely to avoid romantic attachment, which is a little weird, but understandable? Maybe?

At this point, we get one of the most iconic scenes in the film, as the uptight women at a Rodeo Drive store tell her to leave, like assholes. They’ll get their comeuppance, though. OHHHHHH, THEY’LL get it. This compounds when the hotel manager, Barnard “Barney” Thompson (Héctor Elizondo), questions her presence there. And while it seems that he’s going to kick her out, he actually helps her out with an outfit.

Meanwhile, Edward’s business deal begins to go somewhat south, until Edward takes advantage of GOVERNMENT CORRUPTION. Anyway, Vivian goes to a local department store, where Barney’s friend Bridget (Elinor Donahue) helps her out with a cocktail dress. When she heads back, Barney acts like a bro once again and teaches her proper etiquette, Emily Post style.

Edward heads back to the hotel, where Vivian is waiting for him. And she looks cuuuuuuuuuuute. Edward thinks so, too, and they head to the corporate dinner. There waitselderly businessman James Morse (Ralph Bellamy), and his grandson David (Alex Hyde-White). We get a taste of just how vicious of a businessman Edward is, and Vivian makes a much better impression on the Morses than Edward does. Also, Eddie’s kind of a sociopath, huh? Or, at least, he has some sociopathic tendencies. I dunno his pure emotionlessness is rubbing me a weird way.

After the dinner goes VIOLENTLY south, the two begin to relate to each other a bit more. He notes that he prefers not to bring emotion into business, although he apparently does like Mr. Morse. He also notes that his father died a month ago, but it doesn’t appear to affect him much. Still he heads downstairs to get some air. Later, Vivian gets the bellhop, Dennis (Patrick Richwood) to help her find him, and she does. He’s playing piano like a GODDAMN MANIAC HOLY SHIT! Just like, “Don’t mind me, I’m just playing an operetta to PUT THE KNIFE FEELINGS TO SLEEP IAMTHEZODIACKILLER.” This manic performance is followed by the two just...fuckin’ on the piano. They just FUCK IN THE LOUNGE RIGHT ON THAT PIANO JESUS CHRIST GUYS

The next morning, post-musex, they go to get outfits together, in which Gere buys a massive set of outfits, and we get the first makeover montage this month! He also flashes even more sociopathic flair with a clothing store owner, goddamn. And that’s...when we get the song.

I mean, we had to get this song in here at some point, right? She also engages in the most iconically HUGE moment of the film. You know what I’m talking about, and it’s beautifully cathartic, my Lord.

Meanwhile, at work, Edward’s starting to...lose it, I guess? As Phil’s encouraging him to close in on Morse for the kill, Edward’s beginning to grow a heart. And may I note that he’s been in this relationship for TWO DAYS. Jesus, buddy, you’ve really never had a meaningful relationship, huh? They eventually go to a polo match for business reasons, here Phil finally meets Vivian. Vivian also notices that none of the high-society people here seem like, well...friends.

Turns out that David Morse is one of the polo players, and Vivian starts to speak with him. Phil, meanwhile, notices this, and suspects her of being a corporate spy. And Edward, like an ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE, tells her that Vivian’s a prostitute. Phil LITERALLY IMMEDIATELY GOES AFTER HER, and solicits her like a fucking CREEP.

This obviously very much upsets her, and she chews Edward out back at the hotel. And the argument that follows IMMEDIATELY puts me on Vivian’s side, because Edward’s being a sociopathic douchenozzle. Goddamn. She rightfully wants to leave, and he just lets her. And here’s the real kicker; she doesn’t take the money.

And that’s when Edward sincerely apologizes to her, as best as he can. And yeah, he’s a little sociopathic, but I can see that the dude is trying? The two make up, and once again open up to each other. Edward starts to realize, in turn, that he legitimately has feelings for her. And we head into the third act of the film.

The next day, Edward leaves work early to go on a date with Vivian, and Phil asks if the date is with “the hooker.” And Edwards flashes him a look that’s just...knifey. I’m still not convinced he isn’t the Zodiac Killer. He takes her to an opera in San Francisco, before which we get this scene.

Adorable. God, I love Vivian. Also Dennis and Barney are the best, and they’re super fucking invested, and I am HERE for it. Their date to the opera is...sublime. Understand, my girlfriend and I watched this entire film together, and we’re both in love with Vivian and the opera after it. Imma take her to the opera on a date one of these days, I swear it.

That night, they play chess together, and Edward actually takes the following day off. He also actually sleeps in a bed for once, instead of going to work. And this is when my girlfriend the following phrase:

Is he sculpting her, or is she sculpting him?

OK, that fantastic question is one of the reasons we’re together, but also a very interesting point. Lemme explain here. This is very much a Pygmalion story in a few ways. While not a straight adaptation by any means, this film is definitely taking a few ideas from the Pygmalion trope. See, if you don’t know, Pygmalion’s a Greek myth about a sculptor who falls in love with his statue. It’s been adapted multiple times throughout the history of the arts, but the most prominent version of this was the stage musical My Fair Lady, famously adapted into a film starring Audrey Hepburn in 1964.

And again, a lot of adaptations of that, too. While Pretty Woman isn’t explicitly an adaptation of either work, the themes are still present in the work. So, yeah, it’s a good point. In this version, she’s changing him as much as he’s changing her. The sculpture is sculpting the sculptor. Which is cool.

And then, as we had that cute little revelation, Vivian tells Edward that she loves him. And OH FUCK. It’s the last day. And when he says he doesn’t want this to be the last of them together, she takes it as romantic. But when he essentially proposes making her a beck-and-call girl, putting her up in an apartment and hooking her up with dresses...she’s understandably not interested. She says that, as a little girl, she dreamed of a white knight that would sweep her off her feet and take her away. But Edward isn’t that knight.

Have I mentioned how much I love Vivian? Because Vivian’s fuckin’ fantastic, Jesus Christ.

Edward decides to leave, and says that he’s done all he can at this point. He leaves, and she’s shattered. Kit, meanwhile, comes to visit her at the hotel, and she admits that she’s fallen in love with him. While Kit’s initially worried about it, she says that they could maybe settle down and buy some diamonds and a horse. I also love Kit.

Meanwhile, at the meeting with Mr. Morse, Edward turns the tables on Phil and his yes-men, and asks to speak with Mr. Morse alone. Phil’s gobsmacked by this, but agrees. Once they’re alone, Edward admits that he no longer wishes to buy his company and destroy it. Instead, he wants to help him rebuild his company. And Morse agrees, telling Edward that he’s proud of him.

Phil, EXTREMELY irritated by this, and decided to make his way to talk to Edward at the hotel. And that’s when he finds Vivian. FUUUUUUUUCK. As expected, Phil tries to r*pe her, and that’s when Edward shows up, and BEATS THE FUCK OUT OF HIM.

Edward tells Phil off, calling him an EVEN BIGGER sociopath than he is, and kicks him out. Friendship ended with Phil. Now Vivian is his best friend. But despite this, Vivian still realizes that their relationship, at least the one she wants, seems impossible. Conceding, and on his way back to New York now, Edward pays her, and tells her to call him if she ever needs anything. 

But he asks her to stay one more night with him, not because of money...BUT BECAUSE OF LOVE. And she replies that she can’t...and they part ways. Vivian goes to say goodbye to Barney, who still rules. He calls a cab for her, and says that she can visit them anytime. My girlfriend says that she would leave me for Barney, and I agree. I agree so much, because she deserves the best, and the best is Barney, and I could never BE Barney. 

I could never be Barney.

It’s over now, as the song in the background says, and Edward laments his lost relationship as the thunder rolls in. Vivian decides to finally go to San Francisco, and finish high school, inspired by Edward’s love and faith for her. She passes that faith onto Kit as she says goodbye. Fuuuuuuck, man, this goodbye hurts as well.

Edward goes to the lobby, and talks to Barney one last time. AND BARNEY TELLS EDWARD WHERE VIVIAN WENT, LIKE A GODDAMN CHAMPION. WHY CAN’T I BE AS PERFECT AS BARNEY????

He makes his way to her apartment, and buys flowers from a woman with a Cockney accent, WHICH IS A MY FAIR LADY REFERNCE! HOLY SHIT! He arrives in a white limo at her place, overcomes his fear of heights and climbs a fire escape in a metaphorical tower to rescue his princess. 

THAT’S HOLLYWOOD, BABY! And it’s Pretty Woman as well. That was a very heartwarming film, and I’m very glad that I watched it! Is it perfect? Ehhhhhhhh, see you at the Review.