#grad so soon
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midterms beating my assss rn oh my goddd LET HER GET UP LET HER GET UP
#sorry to my sister wives#fics coming soon ughhh#i feel so bad but i need to be locked in#grad so soon#academic weapon#at what cost
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Eta on the YouTube video? No rush, just exchange
im gonna be honest man please do not count on me here lmao. my follow through rate for these projects is like 5%. real ones remember gourdquest and other related failed projects i came close to the sun on. if i succeed it will be huge for me on a genuine personal level and it will be the first time i've finished a creative project at all in years but if i do not. neither you nor me should be surprised
#lichens#yeahhh not gonna lie#the reason ive never added like a ko-fi or anything to this blog is because i see my dim reflection in a million failed internet projects#i almost added a ko-fi once and actually got a couple donations but i refunded them and closed it because i was like. no. this wont work#my dream job would indeed be to be a youtube essayist that talks about plant topics#but im at my most reliable as like. a capitalism worker clocking in and out at a set time at the work location lol#this is also why i have not gone back to grad school yet lmao like i just do not trust myself not to deviate from the set topic#also im starting my EMT classes and jobs very very very soon so i was trying to get it done before that but as the time comes i go o. oh no
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Are y'all ready for the ending of "Always There?!"
#Sorry part 5 is taking so long#Grad school just started up again so I've been busy with school stuff#I also redid several pages for part 5 multiple times and added a few more pages#But rest assured part 5 will come out soon <3#mouthwashing#WIP#MW#comic#anya mouthwashing#nurse anya#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#myart
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it's the feast of st francis! i showed the cats an icon on him and dropped some holy water on their heads so now they're blessed
#francisposting#the big cat hissed at me lol#my roommate and i will be out of town this weekend so we won't make it to the nearby church's blessing of the animals#the cats wouldnt like that either#also sorry i've been so mia recently! grad school's been getting to me but i should (knock on wood) be really back soon
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quick lil post about coming back to art full-time while also being a full time MSW student….it can be possible 0.0
anyway ty to everyone who has supported me over the years i wouldnt be able to go back to art without you all
#muertodraws#also becoming a lil more comfy calling myself autistic even tho every autistic person i have ever me is like yea ur us lol#back in therapy and i finished my first sem of grad school off strong#next sem will be crazy but o well#hoping to volunteer at a cat shelter next yr too#i need a cat in my life or else i will explode#i would get one now as an esa but i just dont have the money#so heres to hoping#anyway i know my asks are off and thats cuz i just needed to focus on school#maybe theyll come back on next year but for now if u need to reach me feel free to pm or email me#dm me on instagram too if u gotta reach me#trying to balance being on here and also wanting to be invisible and blend in with the masses and work my 9-5 and act like i dont have like#intimate knowledge about online discourse lmfao#anyway#see u all soon
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You're back! I was worried, are you doing alright?
Sorry just needed to find time to refill the queue!
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My instructor for my German class copied me on a communication with my academic advisor about my attendance issues and I get it, I get that I've missed a lot of class and that instructors are frustrated by that, but I genuinely don't know what I'm supposed to do when the problem is that I've been physically unable to wake up most mornings for the last several weeks.
Like I've had similar issues before, but it's so much worse this semester (my class isn't until 10:10am, and I live a 30-40 minute train ride from campus, but that's still not that early). I specifically took this class--at this time too--because I thought it was late enough that it wouldn't be an issue, and now I'm probably going to have to end up in a meeting with her and my advisor where I bawl my eyes out about how I really am trying, and that I know it sounds like the worst excuse ever but I swear I'm not just being lazy or skipping class on purpose.
And it makes me terrified for the future, where I might have jobs where I can't set my own schedule, and especially because when your partner ended up suddenly and mysteriously sick with tired-all-the-time-to-the-point-of-being-mostly-bedbound disease, having your own fatigue issues is incredibly scary and traumatizing. We're already in such a precarious situation, we cannot afford my health going south, too.
I don't know. I'm scared and stressed about this specific scenario, but also about, like, life in general, and feeling pretty miserable.
#i genuinely don't know what's wrong with me. like it's probably in part POTS-related but#that's unfortunately also the least helpful explanation ever because there isn't really a ton that i can do about it#and i need a real solution that makes it possible for me to actually go to school and work#because otherwise i am in so much trouble#i don't know. i really am getting worried that i'm going to hit a breaking point soon. this semester has been. not great#and i haven't even started in earnest on my grad school applications that need to be done in like. a month#but like. i am barely staying afloat. when am i going to have time#anyway. suspect i will be crying a lot this week
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surprisingly like. really really sad about facing an ending. you'd think the tumblr text posts would have prepared me for this. but alas,
#kit to kit#today was my last day at my job#and im mostly nostalgic bittersweet happy sad etc about it#lmao so im mostly [redacted] about it i figure#many of the highlight emotions#im going to grad school soon so had to leave the job but the promise of that future does not make the past easier to close the door on#etc etc
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a precursor to this
/////
I tried to warn you when you were a child
I told you not to get lost in the wild
I sent omens and all kinds of signs
I taught you melodies, poems, and rhymes
Oh, you fool, there are rules, I am coming for you
(You can run but you can't escape)
Darkness brings evil things, oh, the reckoning begins
(You will open the yawning grave)
The Yawning Grave - Lord Huron
~~~
Clarke’s smile had nearly split her rosy cheeks as she twisted one jolival finger in the air, the same cape spinning merrily in front of Lexa’s disbeliving eyes as it made a neat rotation within the air before landing obediently in Lexa’s lap.
“I- Clarke this is….”
“Beautiful? Perfect? Incredibly fitting for a promising young witch of newly sixteen?” Clarke had piped up from her seat in the hay-covered loft, having accosted Lexa with a rousing chorus of both “Happy Birthday” as well as a verifiable mountain of sloppily levitated presents upon her entry into the barn.
“Well, yes. All of those things. Bit it’s also too much. I got you a witchlight for your birthday. This must have cost…” Lexa trails off as she runs an admiring finger down a glistening green seam. The cloak shimmers in response, the trace amounts of magic that were woven into the very cloth reacting to the same power that sung through Lexa’s being.
Clarke’s smile dims slightly upon seeing the defeated slouch in Lexa’s shoulders. Standing fluidly and brushing trace amounts of hay off of her matching dark blue cloak, she floats gracefully to land, catlike, in front of Lexa.
They both pretend not to notice how Lexa holds her breath when Clarke reaches forward to gently brush an auburn curl from Lexa’s cheek.
“I wanted to, Lex. It practically followed me home, you know how these capes are. Besides, I’ve been helping out so much at my mum’s apothecary, I had the extra gold. And, every witch deserves a cape for her sixteenth birthday, it’s witching law. Or so says nan.”
They exchange a mutual hidden smile at the mention of Clarke’s grandmother, a wonderful woman with twinkling blue eyes who just so happened to produce the meanest Amnesia spell of this side of the Atlantic. Rumor had it Clarke had also inherited her spell casting ability, a skill that Lexa was keen to not try out any time soon.
“Well…” Lexa draws out the word heistently as she stoops just enough to let Clarke, mouth twitching to hide a gleeful smile, gently tie the velvety strands around Lexa’s slim shoulders. “If nana says so, who am I to argue with the head of the Griffin Coven?”
Clarke’s fingers linger briefly at the base of Lexa’s neck, pointer finger resting oh so gently on her pulse, which flutters like a trapped hummingbird under the attention.
“Preciscely, Woods.”
#if the silence takes you then i hope it takes me too#Coven!au#clexa#witch!lexa#witch!clarke#clextober#sorry this is so short babies#grad school is kicking my ass handily#actual chapter two coming soon
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yesterday one of my roomates asked if I wanted to go for a 25k easy bike ride
the 25k ride had 400m of vert
the ride was not easy for me
#it was still fun!#he was very kind about it and even apologized later#and the evening was beautiful#and we had post ride burgers and wine with friends (who are moving :()#overall a 10/10 thursday#and my last remaining roomate without a gravel/race bike has ordered one so soon we can go on four person group rides :)))#grad school
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I’m allowed one (1) vent of the colossal amounts of pressure my body and mind are under per month and i usually do my best to bury it in the early hours of the morning, so now that i’ve provided this valuable and important context:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA



#my stuff#i need to be beaten to death i need to be eaten alive i need to be slashed and stabbed and burned to ash#nothing i do will ever EVER be enough to make up for the existential guilt that gnaws at my soul#i’m hungry i’m tired i’m stressed about work and the safety and well-being of my family and friends#i miss my goddamn ex over a year after the end of a 6 month relationship like a pathetic wretch#i will never be pretty the way i wanted to be as a child and can only make myself enough of a freak that i don’t care#i want to be brutally harmed so the flesh of my body will show a fraction of the damage i feel inside#these wounds do not heal no matter how much i try to treat them with friendship and food and music and life#it is all insufficient. i was not supposed to live this long.#i try every day to be kind and to make the world a better place so that maybe just maybe i can say i earned the right to live that day#it never feels like enough. it probly never will#i’m so angry i’m so sad i feel incurable lonely no matter how much time i spend with friends#as soon as the call is over or i head home the darkness washes right back in and i feel like an abandoned cat on the roadside again#i want everything to be okay. It’s not right now#i want everyone i love to be warm to be safe to have enough to eat but I AM NOT GOD#i can’t fix everything no matter how much it makes me writhe inside#i’m a broke fucking grad student with a useless fucking project and they should bury me alive in the field research camp#perhaps a vegetable would cause less despair
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Knightfall in Dream Land - Page 14
Meta lands a hit on Whispy and dodges some air bullets as his friends cheer him on.
#Kirby#Kirby fanart#my art#comic#Knightfall in Dream Land#Meta Knight#Captain Vul#Whispy Woods#Axe Knight#Mace Knight#Trident Knight#Javelin Knight#Kirby OC#sorry for taking so long to finish this page I meant to post it last weekend#but I had some work I had to finish for grad school and then I got sick#I know that their fight being decided in three hits probably makes both of them look really weak#but honestly I only set that rule because I didn’t want to drag out the fight too long#Whispy only has like two attacks in the first couple games I didn’t want the fight to drag out and be boring lol#we’re going to see Sword Knight and Blade Knight soon in the comic too#don’t worry I didn’t forget about them lmao they’re being included
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.
#why did Joel fry ask Nathan Foad#why are you videoing me#like a 64 year old grandfather#my guy you are an actor and a RADA grad#why didn’t you say filming or recording as one is known to do in front of a camera#he saw an iPhone and went into a blind panic#he bewitches me#anyway I bought a copy of 10000 BC on dvd from goodwill the other day so#will update soon with my thoughts on 24 year old fryjoel
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wish i could give you a hug about your migraines and medication struggles. you deserve to be cared about accommodated
thank you <3 to be clear so far i haven't encountered anyone who's been uncaring or unaccommodating about it. i'm mostly just frustrated at...not necessarily myself, i guess, but at the mere fact of experiencing new existential challenges in my daily life. it's hard and scary to admit that i'm struggling, it's hard to ask for help, and it's hard to do so with the knowledge that most people have very little real way to help other than going "that's rough, buddy"
#sasha answers#anon#'existential challenges' ie namely coming to realize that my migraines are a bigger problem for me than i thought#and that my most recent medication adjustment in the effort of preventing migraines is causing different (arguably more pressing) problems#by making me. just. so tired. like not the usual 'in grad school and working 2 jobs and playing oboe' tired that i'm used to#but 'slept in til almost noon; got groceries; and felt like i needed to take a nap immediately after' tired.#'weeks behind on assigned readings' tired. 'turned in an assignment days late' tired#and beyond just being drowsy and physically exhausted i'm not thinking as quick as i usual am.#i don't think i've understood what brain fog really felt like til now but i really feel like i'm just. out of focus now#like realizing you need to wear glasses suddenly. although i've been wearing literal glasses for a decade and a half by now lol#anyway. i appreciate your care#this is all quite new to me. and i suspect a product of my most recent medication adjustment#since my symptoms line up with the common side effects and reported anecdotal experiences of other users of this particular med#i messaged my doctor about it for advice. so hopefully i can do something about it soon#and re: 'most people can't help' i mean to say that i live alone and have to like cook and clean and take care of myself alone#and the world outside of my brain is also experiencing some crazy bull shit that's just added stressors for myself and everyone else#from my university going through. some stuff. and the country. Also Going Through Some Stuff Right Now#it's a lot. and even if a professor says 'this assignment doesn't have a hard deadline' or a coworker offers to cover a couple hours for me#well it's appreciated surely but there's a lot more going on that they can't control y'know#anyway. tmi again#i'm going to heat up some more food for myself and try to get to bed early#i probably won't get to the assignments i wanted to work on tonight. but so it goes
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ok off to play stardew for a bit before i have an anxiety attack over my meeting in a couple hours bye
#it's a meeting with a program advisor for a graduate program in museum studies#i think the program looks really interesting but 1.) i've tried grad school before & it didn't agree w/ me (for lots of reasons tbh)#2.) this program is fully online and i don't have the best track record with online classes#& 3.) i REALLY don't want to go a bajillion dollars further in debt#(my 1 attempted semester of grad school doubled my loan debt from undergrad so. i am scared.)#fallon rambles#sorry i'm so chatty rn i'll stfu soon promise
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#ts4 legacy#ts4 storytelling#ts4#berry sweet sims#pastel rainbowcy#dream bpr#dream gen 3#topaz shine#I WORKED SO HARD ON THIS SO HERES A RUNDOWN OF ALL THE PICS#starting from bottom right:#her and citrine when they were growing up in evergreen harbor#one of the fountains near her college campus (she loves water lilies)#a pic of her at granite falls taken during vacation with her parents#a pic of her and an ex college boyfriend that she can't bring herself to delete#a pic of her and a friend during gameday#a visit with her sister at the evergreen harbor cemetery#a pic of topaz and some friends going out on the town (a pub crawl in britechester lmao)#obligatory grad pic#a picture of the windenburg countryside she took when she moved back after graduation#her insta handle is shinytopaz4evr because she created her account when she was 14#but she's too nostalgic to change it#we'll find out more about her life during the time skip soon dw
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