#grabbed these from thread archives lol

[eusyram]

YOUR CHARACTER IN 5 QUOTES

TELL US YOUR FAVORITE QUOTES FROM YOUR CHARACTER. GIVE US AN IDEA OF WHO THEY ARE BY FIVE THINGS THEY’VE SAID.

"H-hey, wait just a second, snookums! You’re not trying to scam me into a cheap wedding without a ring, are you?!”

"Well if there are cute boys around, I won’t mind you tossing me into their arms!”

"Don’t make me laugh! At least fake it ‘til you feel it!"

"Of course I wasn’t born with pink hair! These are perfectly peachy-pink tresses tinted with the kiss of a summer sunset at the flush of first love in a fruit orchard! Do you think I made that all up on my own? No way! I ate those peaches, watched that sunset, and stole my very own boyfriend!"

"To protect the heart from palpitations,                               To unite all pairs with sweet flirtations,

I’m the Warrior of Love and Marriage, Mary Sue!”

[jj-one]

PRESS PLAY !

your boyfriend Jungkook convinces you to make a sextape with him, ultimately ending up with you getting wrecked on camera.

pairing: bf!Jungkook x gf!reader genre/tags: pwp (plot is barely there), smut, piv, unprotected sex, dom!jungkook/sub!reader, manhandling, daddy kink?, there is absolutely nothing holy about this fic… read at your own risk that’s all i’m gonna say tbh words: 3.0k

[note] if you remember seeing this before yes i’m the original author i didn’t plagiarize lol, i made a new blog and was formerly known as @milkychae but deleted a while ago. i’ll be reposting all my old deleted fics and using this as an archive !

Jungkook checks himself out in the mirror one last time, threading his fingers through his thick, silky hair before hitting the record button to start filming.

He had the camera set up on a tripod placed in front of the bed, flashing you a soft smile. You couldn’t stop ogling his divine features, he looked so damn good. His messy jet-black hair swept the sides of his face and was only in a pair of white Calvin Klein boxers. He just looks like pure heaven, unable to keep yourself contained as you sneak glances at his nicely toned, heavily tattooed body. You can literally stare at his beautiful sculpted abs all day, he was the true definition of perfection.

‘How’d I get so lucky to have the hottest boyfriend alive?’ You often thought to yourself.

“M’kay, ready babe?” Jungkook asks reassuringly, he knows you’re excited to do this just as much as he is.

You nod your head “mhm, was born ready!” He chuckles at your cuteness, pressing the little red ‘record’ button on his camera.

Once the camera begins rolling Jungkook wastes no time to spring into action, turning towards you to cup your face in his large hands. He kisses you hungrily, causing you to moan ever so slightly into him, without breaking the kiss you both land onto the bed— he’s hovering over your frame providing light touches to your thigh. You were enjoying every minute of this so far, never getting enough of the sweet taste of him. Pulling away for a second, he grabs ahold of your neck, keeping you in place while his free hand roam all over your upper body. He presses wet kisses to your jaw and chin, then comes back up to kiss your pretty lips once again, making the kiss grow sloppier and heavier. A string of Jungkook’s saliva forms when he momentarily detaches hisself from your lips, smiling down at you. It was more of a devilish smile though, a smile that looks like he was going to snatch the soul out of your body. You two play around on the bed for a bit, passionately kissing and enjoying each other’s presence.

“Come here baby,” Jungkook says, instructing you to get on top of him now, positioning himself behind one of the fluffy pillows on the bed. You do exactly as you’re told and get on his lap to straddle him, he grabs your face with his left hand to kiss you some more while rubbing your ass, harshly slapping it in the process. You wore the tiniest pink micro skirt with bows on the side, it was a mesh material and super see through. Jungkook loved the outfit you were wearing since it was a tiny two-piece crop top and skirt, adoring the curves and shape of your body in the least bit of clothing possible. Slowly lifting up your skirt now, he licks his lips when looking down at your bare pussy, teasing your entrance with his tatted fingers. You quietly gasp as he rubs your soaked folds in an up and down, slow motion, making you subconsciously twitch from sensitivity.

“My god.. you’re so fucking wet babygirl,” Jungkook groaned as he slid two fingers inside, “look how much you’re dripping already babe.” he whispers, staring in awe at his fingers disappearing into your sweet cunt. The room’s filled with only sounds of your wetness, combined with the soft moans you utter, all the juices dripping down your legs and his thumb brushing over your clit was having you see stars.

“You hear that? That’s what good pussy’s supposed to sound like,” Jungkook brags while looking over at the camera, he’s taking this very serious, as if you’re going to end up posting this on PornHub or something. You loved it though and you can tell how into this he is, which only makes you want to do a better job at pleasing him. You moaned louder for him as his fingers go deeper into you, reaching those spots that you never could. Rolling your eyes back as he fingers you harder, he was soaked in your juices, obsessed with the view behold him. You match the movements of his pace, grinding against his digits whilst he reaches a certain spongy spot— feeling so close to cumming already.

Then he abruptly took his fingers out of your dripping cunt, denying you of your orgasm. You whined loudly, clenching again just to feel something, wanting more of him filling you up at this very moment. You childishly pout and beg for more, but he just shushes you and flashes a smirk at your whininess. “Don’t worry sweet pea, m’gonna give you exactly what you need..” Jungkook rasps, still staring down at your cute pussy, but this time spreading your lips apart. He ran his finger down to your clit once again to gently rub in circles, making it even more puffy and swollen. Basking in all your beauty as you threw your head back from the intense pleasure.

“Wanna taste you,” Jungkook’s voice almost sounds desperate, not wanting to waste another second. “Come sit on my face babydoll,” he motions for you to temporarily get off of him, lying down on the bed, requesting that you still keep your skirt on. Placing yourself onto him and comfortably sit on his face, his mouth attaches to your pussy quicker than you can form a thought, already ferociously sucking on your clit. His hands went straight to your ass, slapping each cheek every chance he could, forming blatant red hand prints on your butt.

Jungkook was eating you out like his life was depending on it, uncontrollably moaning his name over and over again. You were in a frenzy as you grind on his face, grabbing the top of his head as if he was able to even go anywhere, his face was quite literally glued to your pussy. Jungkook kept at it for what felt like hours, your juices leaking all over his face without a care in the world. Then all of a sudden you felt this weird sensation, something you’ve never experienced before. It was the same slimy sensation that was all too familiar, but just in a different hole instead. Jungkook was licking your ass, his tongue kept flicking it at first, but now he’s fully immersed into it. He’s never done this to you before but it felt so amazing, it felt just as good as him eating you out but had a distinctly different feel to it.

“You like it baby?” He asks when pulling his tongue away, replacing it with his fingers. His fingers go so deep in your little hole making you squeal out loud.

“Mmm… yes daddy, I do!” A string of moans escape you, sounding so pretty that it’s like music to Jungkook’s ears. Smirking up at you while his digits continue going in and out of your ass, planting a quick kiss to your pussy.

“Fuck, I love you so much my love,” even during moments like these, Jungkook still reminded you how much he adores you, going back to licking your sensitive clit while still fingering your ass. You were in utopia, lost in the magical feeling of his tongue and fingers doing wonders on you. Jungkook could totally be a pornstar if he wanted to, he had the looks, the skill, and stamina.

“I love you so much kookie..” you mewl, closing your eyes from how intense all of this was. You can feel your release coming any minute and you only got louder for him, grabbing the strands of his hair, gripping it with everything you had. You were riding his face like a rodeo and he was more than here for it, his tongue never letting up on your clit. When he dragged a long stripe across your heat, that was all it took for you to cum all over his face. Slowing down your pace as you finally chase your high, smothering Jungkook with your creamy, juicy pussy.

“Goddamn babe, you made such a mess.” Jungkook grunts out when releasing you from his grasp, his face completely drenched with your juices. You come down from being on top and lower yourself to kiss his wet lips, getting a taste of you on his tongue.

Jungkook tells you to get up and stand directly in front of the camera, you immediately follow his orders. He makes his way over to you, ordering you again to get on your knees in a stern tone. Situating yourself down onto the floor, you pull his boxers down and his cock springs out freely from it’s barriers. Making steady eye contact with the camera while grabbing his thick, lengthy cock, the tip was so red and puffy, precum leaking out to make you even more hungry for him. You wasted zero time in filling your mouth with Jungkook’s cock, it felt so warm against your tongue, loving the prominent veins that would show when he was extra hard. You start taking in his length and getting a good rhythm going, bobbing your head up and down. Jungkook winces at the sensation, taking a fistful of your hair and slamming the entirety of his cock into your mouth. His length hits the back of your throat, coming into contact with your uvula, causing you to make a sudden gagging noise. The drool peeking out from the corners of your mouth becoming more apparent as he fucks your pretty mouth.

“You have the best lips for giving head babe,” Jungkook coos while sighing out and throwing his head back, “your mouth is so fucking good to me…” He couldn’t stop praising you, you were like an angel to him. An innocent angel that was only a freak for him. Jungkook starts to get a little rougher with you, forcefully pushing his cock even further down your throat, causing you to choke for real this time.

“Yeah just like that baby, choke on it,” he strokes your hair out the way to get a better look at you. He thrives off taking control of you, see how far he can push you, he knows you can handle it though, he does it out of pure love. “Like being stuffed with a mouthful of my cock, hm?”

“You’re such a dirty fucking slut, look at you,” Jungkook continues degrading you, “sucking my dick on camera like the filthy whore you are.”

You keep on sucking his cock as you look him in the eyes, the words he’s saying right now is all you need to hear for you to become even more of a dripping mess. Your wetness is only growing and it’s starting to spill onto the floor, oh how embarrassing…

Jungkook’s cock was buried deep inside your mouth, managing to fit all of him without gagging anymore. He’s trained you so well over the years it doesn’t take much warming up for all of him to settle in perfectly, it’s like it was made specifically for you. You stay like this for a while, feeling his fat cock throbbing in your mouth as you gaze up at his gorgeous face through your lashes, appreciating how much you admire him. You’d honestly do anything to make him happy. After awhile, you release him from your mouth and go straight to his balls, sucking them up like a vacuum. Jungkook moans out so violently that you think the neighbors could probably hear that one, your eyes grew wide as you didn’t expect him to be so vocal from that. Seeing the biggest smile etched on your boyfriend’s face.

“Shit.. you’re so good at that baby,” he compliments you again, holding the back of your head for dear life. You could suck him off for hours without ever getting tired of it.

He pulls you away from him, telling you to get back on the bed and to bend over with your ass facing up. You do so without hesitation and begin arching, ready for him to do whatever he wants. He proceeds to spread your pussy lips again, as if earlier wasn’t enough already, he dips his tongue back into your soaking wet heat. Your mouth goes agape, barely able to make a sound, only letting out a small moan as he continues, spitting a little on your slit and rubbing it in. He eats you out again while you look back at the camera, whimpering when he squeezes your left ass cheek and gives it a harsh slap. You whimper from all the stimulation, body vibrating as he chuckles at how adorable you are.

“Your pussy tastes so fucking good,” Jungkook is so obsessed with you, but it’s a mutual obsession amongst each other. He took a short break away from your wetness, “you don’t know what you do to me y/n.”

All you could do in that moment was moan like crazy, he was making you feel astronomically good. He licked a couple more languid stripes across your slit and gave it a little slap once he was done. Lifting his head up, he’s finally going to do what he’s been waiting for this entire time. He rubs your ass with one hand while stroking his cock for a little bit with the other, bringing the tip to the entrance of your slit and teasing your hole. His dick slipping in between your wet folds is driving you insane, making you want to just slide it in already.

“C’mon Koo, fuck me alreadyyy.” You were practically begging for him to stuff you at this point, wiggling your ass against him, wanting nothing more than to be filled up by him and only him.

“Alright babe damn, always so eager for me,” he groans as he starts pushing his cock inside of you now.

A broken moan escapes from your lips as you’re feeling him slowly opening you up, your tightness already adjusting to his girth. He began fucking you from behind at a rough pace, giving you exactly what you needed the most. Jungkook grabs your neck once again and brings your back towards his chest, saying all types of dirty, sinful things in your ear while he relentlessly fucks you, slamming his cock in and out of you making you go delirious. Practically shoving his hard length into you, you couldn’t help but scream out in pure ecstasy. His cock felt was the best thing on earth and the more he slammed into you the more you didn’t want it to ever be over.

He was so big you could feel his cock in your stomach, all your insides were being rearranged by him. Your ass was jiggling on his cock so nicely, giving him an absolutely stunning view. Firmly settling your face back into the pillows again, while looking down at your ass he grabs your waist firmly with one hand, the other being on your right butt cheek which was severely bruised from him spanking you earlier. You were so beyond soaking wet that the only noises filling up the room were the gushy sounds of your wetness and the ceaseless thrusts of Jungkook’s cock going deeper in you than ever before.

“Just wanna fill up your tight pussy with all my cum…” Jungkook coos, sounding so pussydrunk from all the pleasure he’s feeling right now. “Show me how desperately you want my cum inside you,” he keeps going, urging you to give him more of a reaction, probably since you’re both on camera.

“Mmm… yes daddy, need you to fill me up and make your cumslut pleasee,” you beg for him to continue fucking you, bouncing back on his cock and making him growl. You wanted him to feel like he was on top of the world, like you were a drug and the only cure for his addiction was your pussy. He keeps thrusting into you erratically, his strokes getting messier and sloppier as he soon reaches his climax.

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh fuckk—“ Jungkook belts out a string of curses as he fucks your tight cunt, “m’gonna fucking cum babe… so close..” he grips onto your waist tighter, indefinitely picking up his pace as he starts to see flashes of white invade his vision. He was fucking into you so hard and fast that you couldn’t think or speak coherently anymore, just saying random words and babbling the entire time.

“Jungkook I love you, I love you so much..” was all you were able to say, to which he replies with “I love you more” and continues fucking you from behind like the rent is due. Your eyes were permanently at the back of your head as you were absorbed in the utmost pleasure. Jungkook’s hand reaches over to rub your clit as he proceeds to hit all the right spots inside you, his cock felt so good, everything just feels otherworldly to you right now.

“Ah! Cumming babe, gonna cum—“ Jungkook lets out the deepest groan as he shoots his load inside your warmth, “Oh my god, fuck yes…” he felt like he was on cloud nine, thrusting into you with slowed movements while coating your walls with his thick hot cum. You contract around him, soon reaching your climax right after him, both of your releases mixing together inside of you.

Once he pulls out, you were bodies intertwined with one another again, forgetting all about the camera that was still rolling. You aggressively kiss him, tongues mingling together as if you’re trying to swallow each other’s existence. You took a glance at the camera, checking the time on the screen to see that it’s been going on for almost an hour and thirty minutes now… Jungkook pulls away, noticing you looking at the camera, leaving for a quick second to finally turn it off. He faces back in your direction and presents you with the warmest smile, looking down at your thighs and eyeing the creamy mess that’s dripped down between your legs.

“Let’s get you all cleaned up huh darling?” Jungkook cutely offers, gently kissing your cheek. His big boba ball eyes were staring right into your soul with nothing but admiration and love for you. The duality of his actions were almost surreal, he just fucked you like the devil reincarnated but then acts like the sweetest angel once it’s all over. You’ve always adored that special quality about your boyfriend.

[anendoandfriendo]

We...have certainly been in the ND advocacy communities for long enough to see a lot of changes and never thought about it, huh?

It's nice to just be adjacent to those now, but people might not realize we were one of the folks who suggested gold for autism to the point we made pokemon jokes over it with what used to be some extremely big names in autistic twitter communities lol:

https://x.com/NoPuzzl98/status/1224171559952289792

We probably need to save/archive what we can by this point, given some chunks are already gone. :(

But like, it's really weird we've only been around for qhat we feel like has only ever been a few years and seeing the ripple effects.

It just kind of turned into A Thing at some point, and we don't remember a whole "coining" being made. We don't think we ever responded to it but we think we even remember the thread where the golden infinity symbol was suggested (the rainbow one is supposed to be the GENERAL neurodivergency symbol, we won't stop them but it grates on us so much to see younger folks be so misinformed and use it as an autism one and we're only 25 brainbodywise).

The same vaguely happened for system admin, which is why pluralpedia doesn't show any known coiner for it — that was very intentional/by design from us, because we knew there was a specific something about them but we were having quite a time trying to define them. We think that's also why it's such a vague role term (because it is! It was really just short for "administrative function" when we first came up with it and we were a smaller system).

SYSTEM ADMINS were initially described by us on a discord server, but it seems that server is now defunct or deleted, so we wouldn't be able to grab the screenshot we need. We did, however, find a few attempts to describe admins predating the pluralpedia entry:

https://twitter.com/NoPuzzl98/status/1263666604774166529

https://twitter.com/NoPuzzl98/status/1226584259227529216

https://twitter.com/NoPuzzl98/status/1266765792571514881

https://x.com/NoPuzzl98/status/1214394333153112070

[neilisntreal]

So this is a snippet from a 5k word FINISHED Soap x Ghost fanfic called Simon Gets Sick. Enjoy 🫡:

⚠️Slight NSFW⚠️

They arrive in Ghost’s room, and as soon as the door is shut, Soap is running his mouth. “Hey! You look a lot better. Sorry I wasn’t able to hang out much yesterday afternoon. Work and stuff. Captain didn’t want me taking off too much. Of course you seemMh-“ he gasps into the surprise kiss as he’s slammed up against one of Ghost’s bedroom walls. His breath leaves him all at once.

Ghost slowly pulls away. “I’m not sick anymore. I wanna pay you back for what you did for me.”

Soap cocks his head. “What, take care of you when you’re sick? That’s like, my job as your boyfriend.” He shivers as Ghost grabs ahold of his waist.

Ghost shrugs. “It’s never happened to me before. I wanna show my gratitude. Please?” He’s got those pretty begging eyes that makes Soap a weak man.

Soap huffs. He can’t reject Ghost’s gift. “Alright, what’s yer gift to me?”

Ghost bites his lip and pulls Soap to bed. He flops down into it and sprawls out. “Me.”

Soap nearly loses his mind. “You are so fucking hot.” He murmurs, kissing Ghost’s pretty pink lips over and over. He decides he wants to focus there and keeps kissing and sucking, nibbling on the swollen flesh to make it red.

Ghost is already moaning, back arching ever so slightly as Soap eats him alive.

Soap slides a finger into the neck of Ghosts skin-tight black shirt and tugs. “I want it off. I want all of you out for me tonight, Si.” He growls, leaning in to nip at the others neck.

Ghost pants and nods, body going weak as he lets himself be manhandled by the man on top of him. This is Soap’s gift, so he gets whatever he wants.

Soap pulls himself away from Ghost and begins to quickly work at unzipping his jeans. “These things’re so damn tight when I get hard.” He growls, finally freeing himself from his confines after a good bit of work. His dick springs up when he tugs his boxers off, and he lets out a sigh of relief. The head of his cock is an angry red and it’s leaking precum. He ignores his boner in favor of undressing Ghost.

“Hips up.” Soap murmurs, hooking his index fingers over the hems of Ghosts pants and and boxers. Ghost complies like the good boy he is and lifts his hips high into the air. His pants and boxers are yanked off in one fell swoop and he lets his hips drop back into the cushion.

Soap licks his lips and stares. “Such a big cock and it’s absolutely useless. Can’t use it for anything.” He leans down to take the tip into his mouth. Ghost groans softly and threads his fingers into Soaps Mohawk.

“Johnny..” he whispers, covering his face with the crook of his elbow.

Soap raises a brow and pulls back. “What?”

Ghost squirms a bit. “No foreplay. I need you now. Please.” He begs, breathy and whiny. Soap immediately begins to pull off Ghosts and his own shirt, because who is Soap to deny Ghost of what he so desperately wants?

If you’d like to read the whole thing lol:

[yonpote]

consensual cannibalism

Dan and Phil have a chat about a reddit thread.

WARNING FOR DISCUSSION OF SLIGHT GORE AND CANNIBALISM BUT NOTHING ACTUALLY DEPICTED LOL

read on ao3:

read on here under the cut:

Dan was rocking lightly in an uncomfortable rickety wooden chair, editing a gaming video on his laptop, and Phil was lounging on the bed scrolling through Reddit on his phone. While they made the decision to book separate rooms while on tour, they still made sure to spend a little bit of time together before going off to bed on their own.

“Dan, have you seen this thread?”

Dan rolls his eyes. It’s probably something about a dog saving a pedestrian again. “What thread, Phil?”

Phil crawls upward on the bed, lying on his stomach, and holds up his phone to show a Reddit thread with a blurred out image reading, “I am a man who ate a portion of his own amputated leg, AMA.” Dan grimaces at the thought of it before even clicking to view the photo.

“Why the hell do you look at this stuff? Does it not make you lose your lunch?”

“It was just at the top of the homepage! It’s really interesting.”

“Do I even want to see the picture of the leg?”

“Uh.. probably not.”

Dan of course clicks on the view spoiler button anyway, he figures he’d been traumatized by worse on the internet. Dan immediately winces and groans in horror and sympathetic pain at the image of this online stranger’s gored leg, nearly falling off his chair.

“I said you wouldn’t want to see it!” Phil giggles uncontrollably, bringing both hands and his phone to cover his mouth.

“And people said my nightly Wikipedia dives were strange. You’re clearly twisted, Lester.” Dan turns back to his laptop.

“Hey I need to look at several dog videos to scrub that out of my memory.” Phil says this, but keeps reading the thread anyway. They remain silent for a moment. “Would you ever eat my limb, Dan?” He was a bit quieter when he asked.

“Fucking excuse me?”

“I just mean like- if I were ever in a car accident and had to be amputated, would you want to have a nibble on my leg?”

“A NIBBLE on your LEG?” As always, Dan was left stunned at the words that seemed to just spill out of Phil’s brain and mouth. He stares as Phil tries to stumble his way out of sounding too weird but doesn’t think he can get out of this one.

“Like- okay like, if something like that happened to me, I think I would want to honor that part of my body, otherwise it would just go in the bin wouldn’t it. And I think of all the people that could eat a part of my body, I guess I wouldn’t be particularly comfortable if it were my mum or my brother.” Phil goes silent again. Yup, absolutely no way to make that not sound weird. But it makes Dan think for a moment. Would he eat a part of his friend to honor a lost piece of him?

“How would we cook it?”

“Dan!”

“I’m serious! I’d like it to taste good, Hanniphil Lecter.” Dan can’t help but chuckle, which of course makes Phil laugh, as dark as the thought is. “Would you eat my leg, then?” Phil takes a moment to catch his breath and to think.

“I would.”

“I’d have to be a five star meal. I’m not letting just anyone eat a piece of this.”

“So it’s a deal?”

“Is what a deal, the Dan-and-Phil Consensual Cannibalism Pact?”

Phil sits up on the bed and extends his hand toward Dan, looking a bit stern. “God willing it never happens, but in the event one of us were to get in a horrific accident and need a limb amputated, we would both eat a part of said limb.”

“God willing, Phil, I can’t imagine a scenario in which I got in an accident where you weren’t right there next to me.” They both stare for a moment, and Dan finally grabs Phil’s hand and shakes on it. “It’s a deal, you weirdo.”

Phil smiles, and they both can’t help but burst into a fit of giggles again, still holding each other’s hands. Phil finally lets go and stands from Dan’s bed. “I should go to bed, we still have a show tomorrow. You still editing?”

Dan closes his laptop. “I can just upload it tomorrow. Try not to have any Hannibal-esque nightmares, will you?”

“I’ve already got plenty of dog videos queued up,” Phil waves his phone gently as he steps out the door. “Night, Dan,” he calls, closing the door behind him.

“Night,” Dan calls back, still chuckling to himself at the bizarre conversation they just had. He places his laptop onto the bedside table and crawls into bed, still a bit warm from Phil having sat there. He manages to drift off with no cannibal dreams that night.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

I LITERALLY stopped working on my memo so I could read this indictment.

I am on page 24 and JESUS LUPITA NYONG'O CHRIST.

HOW this man still has the capacity to shock me after everything that's happened, i'll never know.

but I am sitting here *STUNNED*. 

I'll be honest-- b/c i really DO lean into naivete sometimes. it's difficult for me to assume the worst from ppl, even when they have done all of the worst things.

so this wholllllle time, i've been thinking, "wonder why he didn't give back those docs. he's probably lost them." 

and also, "this dingus just grabbed shit from the white house b/c he's too stupid to know he couldn't. he probably doesn't even realize what he has."

lol.

nooooooooooooooooooooope. noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooope. 

this was a DELIBERATE and CONCERTED effort to remove the most sensitive docs the country has, and KEEP them.........and then SHOW THEM TO PPL AT HIS LEISURE WHILE *ACKNOWLEDGING* THAT HE WAS NEITHER SUPPOSED TO HAVE THEM OR SHOW THEM.... 

he haphazardly stored the docs ANY DAMNED WHERE........INCLUDING.........IN A GODDAMNED BATHROOM SHOWER.......they were chucked to some random room in Mar a lago, and occasionally the boxes----because there were SOOOOOOOOO MANY--would tumble down...... 

and TOP SECRET DOCUMENTS.........DOCUMENTS HAVING TO DO WITH DEFENSE PLANS, MILITARY CAMPAIGNS, NUKES, YOU NAME IT.....DOCUMENTS *CLEARLY MARKED* "TOP SECRET" AND "SECRET" AND "CONFIDENTIAL" AND TWO OTHER DESIGNATIONS I'D NEVER EVEN HEARD OF BEFORE TODAY...BUT WHICH APPARENTLY 

MEAN SUPER DUPER DUPER DOUBLE PINKY SWEARSIES REALSIES SECRET......WOULD JUST............ SPILL OUT ONTO THE GD FLOOR........AND LIE THERE.........EXPOSED FOR ALL TO SEE.........JUST.....NAKED AND BARING ALL TO THE WORLD LIKE A NATIONAL SECURITY FULL MONTY. 

AND AS IF *THAT* WEREN'T ENOUGH.....the Archives asked this MF fifty-leven times to give all this stuff back. and 45 would be all, "I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING I GOT. DAMN. SHIT. THERE'S NOTHING HERE."

THEN HE WOULD HAVE HIS AIDES MOVE THE BOXES...... 

AND HE WOULD TRAVELLLLLLLLLLLLL WITHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE BOXESSSSSSSSSSSS.

and some member of his family....ivanka or melania or lara......ALSO knew he had the boxes......

but he would TRAVEL WITHHHHHHH THEM. BECAUSE THAT WAS--PRESUMABLY--the ONLY WAY TO MAKE SURE HE KEPT THEM. 

BUT WHAT'S WILDER STILL............IS THAT THIS MF HAD LAWYERS WHO WERE LIKE, "Fam. For serious. You need to turn in ANYTHING that you have that is a file and belongs to the US Government. DEAD. ASS." 

and 45 was all...TO THE LAWYERS.......TO THESE OFFICERS OF THE COURT...."couldn't y'all just tell them there's nothing here?" and "wouldn't it be better if we just.....kinda like.....burned all this shit...you know....if it were here....*hypothetically*." 

and one lawyer was all.......

[krakensdottir]

I attempted to transcribe it for people using screen readers, I hope I did alright. Here’s the thread, friends.

Transcript of a Twitter thread by fooler initiative (@metroadlib) on June 9, 2023:

I LITERALLY stopped working on my memo so I could read this indictment.

I am on page 24 and JESUS LUPITA NYONG’O CHRIST.

HOW this man still has the capacity to shock me after everything that’s happened, i’ll never know.

but I am sitting here *STUNNED*.

I’ll be honest–

Because i really DO lean into naivete sometimes. It’s difficult for me to assume the worst from people, even when they have done all of the worst things.

So this wholllllle time, i’ve been thinking, “wonder why he didn’t give back those docs. He’s probably lost them.”

And also, “this dingus just grabbed shit from the White House because he’s too stupid to know he couldn’t. he probably doesn’t even realize what he has.”

Lol.

Nooooooooooooooooooooope.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooope.

This was a DELIBERATE and CONCERTED effort to remove the most sensitive docs the country has, and KEEP them…and then SHOW THEM TO PEOPLE AT HIS LEISURE WHILE *ACKNOWLEDGING* THAT HE WAS NEITHER SUPPOSED TO HAVE THEM OR SHOW THEM…

He haphazardly stored the docs ANY DAMNED WHERE…INCLUDING…IN A GODDAMNED BATHROOM SHOWER…they were chucked to some random room in Mar a Lago, and occasionally the boxes–because there were SOOOOOOOOO MANY– would tumble down…And TOP SECRET DOCUMENTS…DOCUMENTS HAVING TO DO WITH DEFENSE PLANS, MILITARY CAMPAIGNS, NUKES, YOU NAME IT…DOCUMENTS *CLEARLY MARKED* “TOP SECRET” AND “SECRET” AND “CONFIDENTIAL” AND TWO OTHER DESIGNATIONS I’D NEVER EVEN HEARD OF BEFORE TODAY…BUT WHICH APPARENTLY MEAN SUPER DUPER DUPER DOUBLE PINKY SWEARSIES REALSIES SECRET…WOULD JUST…SPILL OUT ONTO THE GODDAMN FLOOR…AND LIE THERE…EXPOSED FOR ALL TO SEE…JUST…NAKED AND BARING ALL TO THE WORLD LIKE A NATIONAL SECURITY FULL MONTY.

AND AS IF *THAT* WEREN’T ENOUGH…the Archives asked this MF fifty-leven times to give all this stuff back. And 45 would be all, “I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING I GOT. DAMN. SHIT. THERE’S NOTHING HERE.”

THEN HE WOULD HAVE HIS AIDES MOVE THE BOXES…AND HE WOULD TRAVEL WITH THE BOXES.

And some member of his family…Ivanka or Melania or Lara…ALSO knew he had the boxes…

But he would TRAVEL WITH THEM. BECAUSE THAT WAS–PRESUMABLY–THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE SURE HE KEPT THEM.

BUT WHAT’S WILDER STILL…IS THAT THIS MF HAD LAWYERS WHO WERE LIKE, “Fam. For serious. You need to turn in ANYTHING that you have that is a file and belongs to the US Government. DEAD. ASS.”

And 45 was all…TO THE LAWYERS…TO THESE OFFICERS OF THE COURT…”couldn’t y’all just tell them there’s nothing here?” and “wouldn’t it be better if we just…kinda like…burned all this shit…you know…if it were here…*hypothetically*.”

And one lawyer was all…

And he was like, “you got this subpoena on May 11. I’m coming through on the first of the month to run through that WHOLE SHIT…and I’ma make sure *NOTHING* that belongs to THESE UNITED ASS STATES is in that garish monstrosity you pretend is a house.”

SO 45 has his body man and his aides MOVE THE BOXES AGAIN. LIKE JUST…SCORES OF BOXES…HE HAS THEM MOVE A GAZILLION BOXES AGAIN…TO HIDE THEM FROM…HIS *LAWYERS*.

AND THENNNNNN…THE NIGHT BEFORE THE DAY HIS LAWYER IS SUPPOSED TO COME THROUGH…HE CALLED HIM…AND WAS LIKE, “Aye, dawg. You still coming tomorrow? I was sitting here talking to the homies and like…we don’t know why you’re coming. Why are you coming?”

And the lawyer was like, (*presumably deep sigh here*), “I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I’m coming through to move through the house and make sure I can tell them we complied with the subpoena. I’m gonna make sure you don’t have anything you’re not supposed to. Okay?”

And 45 is like, “OHHHHH! Right. Cool. Coolcoolcoolcool…cool. Come on through, then. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Then he hung up.

AND HAD HIS BODYMAN MOVE MORE BOXES.

I have to keep reading. But what I really need you to know, is that whoever drafted this is giving us NEXT LEVEL caliber Dorian Corey shade.

Because SPRINKLED THROUGHOUT…are excerpts from quotes that Donald Trump gave the press during campaigns and his presidency–boasting about how good he’d be at keeping this country’s secrets safe…how we needed a return to discretion and how people who violated national security laws and breached the protections afforded our most sensitive docs needed to be punished with the full might of the law.

For real.

For real.

GASP.

The lawyer went to Mar a Lago, and 45 and his aides were just sitting there, like, “oh yeah. This guy wants to make sure we’ve turned all the stuff in. somebody take him back to the room and make sure he’s comfortable.”

The lawyer goes, looks around…and finds 38 things that were top secret.

And, honest to God…I think they left that stuff there deliberately so that it wouldn’t look like they’d cleaned house.

So the lawyer packages up what’s left…goes back out, and 45 has the AU-GODDAMNED-DACITY TO BE LIKE, “Wassup? How we lookin’?”

HAND TO GOD, this man says, “Is it good? Is it bad?”

AS THOUGH HE HADN’T DIRECTED EVERYONE TO CLEAN HOUSE.

THEN when the lawyer shrugs and indicates that there’s still some Chester Copperpot level shit in the box he’s carrying, 45 MIMES taking out the secret stuff and disposing of it…MIMES.

WITH HIS WEE HANDS.

The lawyer apparently ignores it, and is like, “Okay. I’m gonna bring in last lawyer and I’m gonna tell her that I went all the way through everything you said you had. Then I’m gonna tell her that what I’m holding RIGHT NOW is the last of ANYthing that you have and aren’t supposed to. SO IF THERE IS ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS HOUSE, TELL ME NOW. CAUSE SHE’S COMING WITH AN OFFICIAL ASS PAPER THAT I AM TENDERING TO THE FEDS…AND WE DON’T LIE TO THE FEDS…SO IS THIS IT, DONALD?”

And 45 is like, “on my mama.”

So the lawyer brings the other lawyer in, and is like, “This is it. This is everything. So you can safely put your good name and your good Bar ID number on this super official sworn statement. Because 45 said this is it and we’ve complied.”

Let me just stop for a moment, right here and tell you that I would *literally* die first…

I would *literally* *DIE* before I relied on that man’s representations.

I’d lie down in the center of my living room floor–cover myself up in a blanket–rollllllll fro wall to wall, back and forth, until I was Dexter secure in the bedding–and then will my body to cease breathing…before I’d put MY NAME on some shit off the STRENGTH of Donald Gargamel John Trump’s word.

So the lawyers turned that weak ass certification in…and told the NATIONAL ARCHIVES RECORDS ADMINISTRATION…THE ENTITY CHARGED WITH THE TASK OF MAINTAINING OUR COLLECTIVE MEMORY AS A NATION…

“That’s all we got.”

AS IF THIS FEDERAL AGENCY…WHOSE *CHIEF* RESPONSIBILITY IS *LITERALLY* TO *KEEP* THINGS…WOULDN’T KNOW…THIS VERITABLE MOUNTAIN OF DOCUMENTS…WAS MISSING.

...Just read this thread. JUST READ IT.

[orderforbrian]

have finally unearthed the web!martin au content, my god........this is the page of not-memes, some of them are very old and some are new lmao - i do have a semi-serious au in my head -- details of au under the cut after ID (it's a little long lol)

[Start ID: Multiple comics of Jon and Martin from the Magnus Archives where Martin is an avatar of the Web. Jon is a thin Persian man with dark curly hair and a beard. Martin is a fat mixed Polish/Korean man with glasses and a beauty mark under his lip, he has shoulder length dark hair with a streak of white in his bangs.

1st comic: Martin is looking down at a pack of cigarettes in his hand and has a cigarette hanging in his mouth. He is wearing a cardigan with a simple shirt underneath. Jon looks at him with a captured expression, a light blush on his cheeks, and holds his spider web detailed lighter out. He asks, "E-er, do you n-need a light?" Jon's hair is slicked back and he is wearing a business shirt. Martin has the now smoking cigarette pointed down to Jon's lighter and is looking up with a coy expression, saying "Hehe, do you like spiders or something?"

2nd comic: Martin is looking to the side with a blush across his face, saying "U-um". A spiderweb behind him is shaped in a heart and there are multiple hearts floating around him. He is wearing a simple sweater with a jacket that has pockets in the front. Next, it shows a spiderweb with "Jon" spelt out in it with a huge heart below the name. Next, Martin is blushing intensely with wide eyes, eight of them on his face, and his mouth is hanging open with two fangs. He is holding his hands stretched out, each end pointed into a claw. Blink is written next to him. Next, a simplified Martin is swatting at the spiderweb, screaming "Aaaargh!". A couple spiders are flying off.

3rd comic: Jon is crawling on the floor through a doorway, a rug with a spiderweb pattern outside the doorway. He is shouting, "I'm going to the Institute even if I have to crawl my way there, Martin!!". His hair is short and he's does not have a beard, he is wearing a business shirt and green tie. Next, a pair of claws grip Jon's waist and he grabs onto the rug for leverage. A simplified angry web!Martin shouts back, "Oh no, you are not going back to that hellscape prison calling itself an academic institute!". Jon grits his teeth and yells, "No, no! You can't stop me-". Next, several spider legs hover over Jon in the doorway. Martin says, "Oh? Is that what you think?". Jon gulps. Next, Jon is being pulled back by the spider legs and screams, taking the rug with him.

4th comic: Jon and Martin are kissing, there are multiple hearts around their heads. Martin says, "Have a nice day, love" and Jon responds, "You as well". Next, Jon and Martin part with surprised expressions and there is a black widow spider hanging on a thread between their lips. Martin says, "Oh!". Next, Jon is trembling with a wobbly grimace, his eye is stylized black with tear shines in it, and a stream of tears is coming from his eye. He is gripping Martin's sweater ferociously. Martin has eight eyes now and looks at him flustered, his mouth has fangs. He yells, "AH!! J-Jon I'm so sorry!!". The spider hanging between them begins to spin down a web thread.

End ID.]

basically, the Web wants to bind all 14 Fears to the tapes in order to place them under its control, without anyone's knowledge such a thing is occurring. they could pit the Fears against each other when necessary, control their actions from the shadows, etc. However, the Web understands that a successful ritual would mean the demise of all the Fears through the End. Jonah Magnus understands that a successful ritual would mean the same, but does not care about the ramifications. this, the Web cannot allow to happen. So once all the Fears are bound, the Magnus Institute will burn in order to ensure no one else can gain control of the Fears. Except for the Archive itself -- the Archivist.

like in canon, jon is marked when he's young so that it will keep his interest in the paranormal enough to get a job at the Magnus Institute. he becomes the Web's 'person on the inside' but jon of course has no idea that's what's happening. the Web wants an avatar to become marked by the Beholding enough to be useful but not so much that they become corrupted or Jonah Magnus can use them as a tool for his own plan. the end goal is for him to become the walking, marked Archive that will abide by the Web's will.

but as jon continues at the Institute, the Web finds that he's becoming embroiled and marked faster than they would like and not in the way that would preserve their 29 year old 'secret weapon', both in his mortality and his corruption.

in comes martin. he became a web avatar after his mother died, the Web having taken interest in the way he could subtly manipulate and lie to others in order to make ends meet. he's genuinely nice and is good at manipulation, but does so as a means to help others do what he thinks is best for them rather than to hurt them. it's important to me that a web!martin does not enjoy hurting others. his most powerful weapons are gentle hands and a patient, nurturing voice. things that guide others into doing what he wants them to, under the impression that it was their own idea in the first place. (but also it's martin. he could body someone if need be. most of the time though, he's passive like in canon. the Web loves a sneaky bitch)

he's perfect for jon. in his paranoid state, what jon needs is someone unassuming, someone who'll slow him down, gives him a sweet smile, a friendly face to rely on -- and later, someone who, unfortunately, can relate very well to the 'i didn't want to become an avatar, i hate being a monster' situation

so martin comes to jon to give a statement. he gives the same statement to jon about jane prentiss as he did in canon, except this time he's lying. jon, having already suffered the jane prentiss attack, feels intense sympathy for him (played like how he acted with Helen after the Distortion statement). they get to talking and slowly become friends. the plan is for martin to crawl his way into jon's heart, get him to care about him, value his opinion, place his utmost trust in him -- until he'll do anything martin says.

and by anything he says, it means: don't fucking die by shoving tape recorders in powerful avatars faces. and also maybe pretty please burn down the Magnus Institute.

martin masquerades the Web's plan as genuine care for jon's wellbeing. "you work too hard, why don't you take a break? christ, the Magnus Institute really creeps me out, why don't we go to a nice cafe instead? if youre feeling bad, call in sick to work and lets go have a nice day out!"

martin starts to find his 'fake' feelings for jon aren't so fake anymore. was it necessary to the plan that him and jon eventually start dating? no. but he didn't exactly deter it from happening because oh my god surprise! jon is super cute and charming and harbors a mutual endearment for him, and its making him forget himself at times (and a certain annabelle cane is noticing). he finds himself falling for him, and the act he was putting on is soon becoming the real, instinctive way he wants to care and to love jon.

then jon finds out he's a web avatar. and all hell breaks loose.

martin feels like an idiot, thinking he could forever be a sense of normalcy for jon -- but the fact remains that he is the monster of jon's nightmares, and jon is already on his path to becoming a monster as well. he still has a mission though: protect jon from harm, make sure he doesn't get corrupted. the only problem now is that jon wants to kill him dead with a shoe and spray him with Raid if he so much as gets within a mile radius of him.

complicated hilarity ensues.

martin tries to sort of distance his lingering feelings by acting coy and aloof. he begins only speaking to jon by calling him on the phone and referring to him as "the archivist". but the act is.....well, jon tells him point blank it's not very convincing. martin will slip up and call him jon whenever he does something cute. they both still have each other's numbers. they both know these little personal facts about each other. jon remembers to tell martin happy birthday over the phone one day and martin nearly cries right then and there. martin can't help but remember the times he felt so safe in jon's arms, and jon the same. they both are too stubborn to say they miss each other, but god do they.

as jon learns more and more about the Fears and his descent into the Beholding becomes impossible to undo, he finds the only person he trusts to turn to is martin. martin who, despite initially lying to him, has protected him from certain death, always lent his shoulder to either lean or cry on, and has been the one person he feels truly understands him. jon finds that, as much as he hates to admit it, the feelings he held for martin may not be as fabricated as the man himself. and the martin who's a web avatar isn't very different from the martin he fell for. in that, he also feels a sense of pity, realizing that martin is just as human and helpless to the Fears as he is, stuck in the web right next to him (think Oliver Banks level solidarity). martin didn't choose to be a part of the Web, the Web robbed him of choice entirely.

eventually they bond over their shared tragedy, reconcile their differences and work in tandem, steadily repairing the repertoire they had prior. it's an unlikely pair for sure. the Web, who deals in secrets and subtlety, and the Eye, hungry to see and know all. martin does not want to be known, but when jon looks into his eyes, a smaller part of him wants to bare his soul for him and only him to see. jon does not like secrets, but loves a mystery, and finds unraveling the threads of martin blackwood to be quite compelling.

the au ends bittersweetly. my idea of a big ending scene is when martin and jon go to burn down the Institute, jonah magnus makes a last ditch attempt to perform the ritual, compelling jon to begin the incantation. martin and jon manage to kill Magnus before the ritual is completed, and they stand outside on the dark night street, hand in hand, watching the Institute burn.

jon is still the Archive, though he and the tapes are under the control of the Web now. he's free from the Magnus Institute, but certainly not the Beholding. Monsters will still come, him and Martin will still need to feed their gods, they will never have their original lives back. eventually the Web will grow bored of gorging itself on the bound Entities, and will consider other threads, woven long before this current one. it may not be for a while, there is still a chance the Fears may leave this plane. jon and martin will take any time they can get, so long as they're together.

anyway, blah blah, i probably didn't write this very well but i wanted to at least summarize. i just want to manifest a web!martin au where he's helping to protect jon from the Fears by being the most caring boyfriend ever and then realizes too late that falling in love was not part of the plan (even though it totally was)

[funnuraba]

Quick guide to SAVING LIVEJOURNAL/OTHER FAN CONTENT with THE WAYBACK MACHINE:

(quick note: Tumblr content is honestly much more at risk, so if you have the stomach to try finding things on Tumblr, you can also use this method on that and do some good work)

Uhhh this got long, so look for the bolded parts if you’re not here for a long read lol.

Okay so, at some point, LJ is going under. Or at least all the gay stuff they can find on there. More to the point, PHOTOBUCKET, TINYPIC, IMAGESHACK.... all of those have left huge scars in the records of LJ fandom. So I’ve been using the fact that the Wayback Machine lets you save outlinks if you sign up with the Internet Archive! (Free!)

There’s a Save Page Now function! Good places to use it on include:

Rec lists

People’s masterlists of their own fics/art/meta

Somebody’s well-organized LJ Memories (the page you save needs to contain direct links to the posts you want to save, so if there are sublevels in the Memories you need to go as deep as possible)

community profiles

Every page of a community, if you really feel like it--I’ve been doing this with some small comms, but it’s.... less than feasible with big communities.

Check the “Save Outlinks” button, and the WB will also save links from the page you enter! You can get a lot of stuff at once. Unfortunately there’s a limit on the number of links it’ll grab, but it’s better than nothing. You’ll also see a lot of ERROR!s and it’s annoying. When it’s a Job Failed you can try the page again later.

I don’t know yet how it picks the outlinks to save, so maybe it’s random and you could eventually get all of them by Saving repeatedly??? I’m pretty sure it tries to start at the top, though, because communities with a huge list of tags in their layout are probably not worth your time: I’ve been trying to get stuff from the KKM Fanfic Challenge comm, but.... well, look at it. Trying to save any page with outlinks just picks up a whooooole bunch of those tags on the sidebar, and barely any actual posts. No matter what kind of URL you put in, that sidebar’s always there. You’d have to save each post individually to get every fic. Hope LJ’s not going anywhere fast!

Community profiles are among the most important, because that gives us a lot of info like how many members are left (after years of bleeding users) and how many comments and posts there were in the community! Unfortunately this method is REALLY BAD for art and icons--lots of them are just gone with tinypic and people’s personal LJ albums. Also the WB isn’t good with images in general and there’s no real alternative. But the profiles of icon communities, plus fanfics, meta, stuff like that: a lot of it left to be grabbed! Big main community profiles are best, because they often listed other smaller communities for the same fandom. Saving the big profile with Outlinks will pick up the profile links of all those smaller communities!

Sometimes the big community profiles will just make you sad. Try to soldier on. (If you’re really committing to this, don’t forget that smaller comms will also have even smaller comms listed as affiliates that never made it into the Big Fandom Community’s profile. You can come back later and Save their profiles directly. Sometimes they also have links to fanlistings and other rare things that are also useful to have saved!)

If you can think of a small community, you can also use the method of saving every page, which takes some work and time: you have to save the skip=10 URL, and after that skip=30, skip=50, etc. Then come back later and do skip=20, skip=40, skip=60, etc. The reason for this is that the Wayback Machine will only save one single URL every 30 minutes. So if you’re saving outlinks from skip=30, you’ll also get an incomplete snapshot of skip=20 and skip=40, minus all the important links on skip=20 and skip=40. Obviously, this isn’t much fun and works only with small comms. But it does save a lot of text.

Here’s the type of stuff you’ll get:

a saved PROFILE url: This is good! It saves info about how active a user or community was. In this case it was a user, but the profile is info they chose to put front and center, and the WB isn’t gonna crawl any deeper and grab personal posts from 2004 or anything. (You’ll get a lot of user profiles that aren’t really necessary when using this method.)

a modified POST url: Also good, but you’re gonna get a ton of duplicates on these due to how many different ways LJ would link to a single post. The style=mine doesn’t alter the content. You’ll also see lots of “#cutid1″, which of course is the link left by an LJ-cut. That’s fine, it gets the post. The content of posts 82379 is safe! (but NOT all the nested comments!)

a comment link (in this case dreamwidth which isn’t in danger, but the same format): This saved both the post itself (79392) and a comment thread (131360). You probably can’t get every comment thread just because the WB is bad at unfolding LJ threads, but this does contain the post itself. If you don’t see the plain post URL itself in the list of saved URLS once WB is done saving outlinks, but you do see a comment link: that comment link also has the original post! You don’t need to keep trying!

a journal’s tag link: This is less useful. It saves a snapshot of the tag page itself, but nothing deeper. Any content under an LJ cut or in the comments is not saved. There’s no way to keep these from saving, though. Just keep in mind, that tag in the picture doesn’t mean that the fics this person linked to have been saved. You’ll have to enter the tag link URL itself into the Wayback Machine’s SAVE page for that.

ERROR! JOB FAILED.: These are annoying! Most likely nothing was saved. Unless a comment link was successfully saved, you’ll have to copy-paste the URL that failed and put it into the SAVE page.

LIVE PAGE IS NOT AVAILABLE: There’s nothing you can do unless this URL was already saved somewhere.

BUT WHAT ABOUT IMAGES????

The passage of time means it’s probably too late. Imageshack and Tinypic took out a huge chunk of images on LJ, and PhotoBucket tried to make people pay them by putting big ol’ watermarks on all pictures except those hosted by premium users. It didn’t work and they said sorry, but the watermarks are still there. Lol. If you right-click +Open image in new tab, the watermark goes away, but who wants to do that with every single image? Also, the Wayback Machine sucks with big images and there’s no alternative at the moment.

If you’re lucky enough to find some holy grail like a big post of 1000 icons hosted on someone’s premium Photobucket, you could save a snapshot of the page. Wayback Machine lets you check that as an option, but IF YOU SAVE A SNAPSHOT WITH A TOOL LIKE “GoFullPage”: I find that GoFullPage, at least, will save you a big long image with no Photobucket watermarks! But you’ll have to save that image yourself, or store it somewhere, so keep that in mind.

Also, the snapshot means no animated gifs--although if you want to save those, they’ll be tiny little LJ icon gifs, so pretty easy to store on your own computer.

[purplesurveys]

1157

survey by hxcsingingsk8r

Phone Scavenger Hunt

First off, what phone do you have? I have an iPhone 8.

And what provider do you use? It’s a local one you wouldn’t know about, called Globe.

How long have you had your current phone? I can’t remember if it would be 3 or 4 years this 2021. Either way, it’s definitely been a while and I’ve been itching to upgrade. It’s too early to make such a big purchase, though.

Do you have any cases for it? Describe them. I have a clear case that I bought last year. Before that, I had a pink Otterbox case that I managed to destroy even though Otterbox is normally known for its durability. I just have a very unique ability to wreck everything I’ve ever owned lol.

How old were you when you got your first cellphone? I was technically 6, but it was meant to be a present for my 7th birthday. We threw a birthday party a month in advance because my dad had to fly back abroad for work before my actual birthday, but we wanted him to be present at the celebration so we decided throwing a party early was the best route.

What about your first smartphone? [If the answer is different] It was an iPhone 5S.

How old are you now? Dunno what this has to do with the theme of the survey but I am now 22.

Okay, move onto the scavenger hunt part

What is your lock screen picture of? It’s of Kim Seon Ho at a restaurant, lmao.

Home screen? It’s one of the shots from a recent promotional photoshoot Hayley did for Good Dye Young.

How many pictures are thre currently on your phone? This question just made me so anxious hahaha. I have way too many photos; and upon checking, it turns out I currently have 6,266. My god do I need to clean up my camera roll this weekend.

How many videos? I have 227. I have no idea it’s gotten to be this many; I barely use my phone to take videos. I’ll go ahead and delete some of them right now, just to give my phone (and its storage) space to breathe.

What is your most recent picture of? It’s a work thing...I guess I’ll explain it so it can make more sense. So one of our clients has got this Lent campaign going on, and to spread word about it we’ve tapped a handful of food bloggers to try out the offers themselves and post about their experience on social media. Now that we’re in the middle of Holy Week they’ve gone ahead and uploaded their own posts, and I’m in charge of taking screenshots so I can show to the client that the execution had been successful.

And the most recent video? It’s a private vlog. Every Sunday, or at least every other Sunday I take a few minutes to sit down and do a weekly video thing where I talk about my ~mental~ and ~emotional~ status, and it’s basically a way to be in touch with myself and keep track of my progress. Who knows, maybe I’ll actually get to uploading them one day.

Do you have any albums? If so, of what? Yeah. I have one for Cooper, one for Kimi, and a bunch of tiny albums I’ve made where I compiled 4–5 photos of friends to post on their birthdays.

What pictures have you favorited? I have a lot of favorited photos. There’s no required category for me to label them as such.

Do you have any shared albums with friends or family or work? No. I’m not sure if I can do that, or how to do it if it is allowed.

Do you have any alarms set? For what time and for what occasions? I have a bunch of alarms but only because they’re archived into the Clock app and I just haven’t gotten around to deleting them. When I was still new at my work, I used to have alarms set for certain work tasks I have to take note of every week – but now that I’ve gotten into the groove of things, I don’t need the alarms to be reminded about them anymore.

Check your weather app, what is the weather and temperature where you live? It says ‘Mostly Clear’ and shows a temperature of 26ºC.

Do you have the YouTube app? Do you have your own channel? I do have the app and my own account, but I never use it to post videos. It’s nice to have my own channel so that my homepage can be tailored to my interests.

Do you have an email app? Which one do you use? I just have the default Email app that comes with iOS, but I never use it because it’s so wonky. It doesn’t refresh new emails and it takes forever when it does, and it doesn’t always show the full thread of email conversations. If I absolutely need to check my email for something I usually have to pull out my laptop.

Does it say that there is an update available on your phone or any apps? Yes, it reminds me everyday hahaha. I don’t update unless Apple has been planning a big revamp with new features, though; and if the updates are just to address bugs, I disregard the reminders.

Go into your contacts, how many contacts do you have total? It says I have 178.

Name all of your contacts under the letter M: Feels a tad bit invasive, so I’ll just name five people I have under M: Lui, Kim, Patrice, Danika, and Andi.

Name all of your contacts under the letter U: I don’t have anyone under U.

Do you have any contacts that are businesses rather than people? Which ones? No, I don’t really use text to contact businesses. If I wanted to inquire or order from one, I usually head to their social media page.

Go into your notes, how many notes do you have saved? This is another one I have a hoarding problem with lol. My phone says I currently have 561 notes, though I’m fairly certain the biggest chunk of it comes from minutes I’ve taken down from work meetings. It was a whole lot less when I was still in school.

What kinds of things do you save in your notes? Like I said, I use Notes for taking down minutes from meetings. There are also a few surveys on there, from times I didn’t have internet and couldn’t post them on here.

Do you have any voice memos saved? What of? Yep. Some of them were recordings I had to do for journalism classes I was assigned to do voiceovers; some are interviews, also from my journ class; and the rest are of me rambling.

Do you ever use the calculator app? Pretty frequently for work.

Do you ever use the Maps app? Not really. If I needed directions, I would check out Waze for that.

Do you have any health/fitness apps? Which ones? I still have the Nike Training app from the very brief time I wanted to start working out earlier this year.

Do you have the Instacart app? The what now? I’ve never even heard of that.

What about a delivery service like Postmates, Uber Eats, Grubhub, Doordash? I have the McDelivery app for McDonald’s, but I also have other general delivery apps like Grab, Lalamove, and Transportify.

Do you have something like Venmo, Cashapp, or Paypal? I have the Paypal app but I never use it. I also have a couple of e-wallet apps just in case I’d have to use them as a payment method, since some businesses  I purchase from prefer certain ones. Ultimately, though, I use Grab’s mobile wallet the most often.

Do you use Bitmoji? I think I did before? I never used it all that regularly though. Didn’t see the point.

What other keyboards do you use besides English? Any? Filipino, Korean, and Emoji.

Which social media network apps do you have? Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Tumblr, TikTok, and Snapchat. So I guess I have all the main ones?

If you have Instagram, what is your handle and how many followers? I have a very private one I only use for work. I didn’t want it to have any followers but at present there’s Angela (because she asked to follow it this week) and Bea (idk why).

What do you typically post on the various social media platforms? The only ones I regularly post on are Twitter and Facebook, and on either I share life updates (if there are any) and memes; though on Facebook I have to watch out what kind of memes I share and make sure they aren’t too offensive because I’m friends with relatives, workmates, and media on there lmao. But on Twitter, I basically have no filter.

Do you make TikTok videos? I don’t make any myself, but I do enjoy going through the app.

Do you only add people you know on Facebook? Yes, for the most part. I’ve taken to adding people as long as they’re from UP or my high school even though I’ve never met them as well, but if I sense that they only added me to try and sell me insurance OR try to get me into MLM, then it’s an instant unfriend for me.

Do you have an app that tracks Instagram followers? No, because I don’t need to track my Instagram followers. I’m off the radar as off the radar gets.

Do you have a Snapchat? Yeah, it’s still on my phone just because but I literally never touch it anymore.

Do you ever take selfies with filters? What app's filters do you use? Eh, just before. I don’t really take selfies anymore, period.

Do you use any apps like Depop or Poshmark or Etsy? No. Out of these three I’ve only ever heard of Etsy, too.

What messengers do you use to talk to people? Any besides just texting? I have Messenger to stay in touch with family and friends; Whatsapp and Viber for work; and Telegram just in case my friends want to play games.

Do you have any photo editing apps? Which ones? I have this app called Foodie that has some pretty filters. Otherwise, since I’m not on Instagram anyway I’m never on the lookout for photo editing apps; no one ever filters their photos on Facebook and Twitter lol.

Do you have any games? Which ones? I do have a ton of games on my phone. I never play any of them, but I keep them just in case I get bored enough to start revisiting them. I have word games, drinking games, games similar to Heads Up! where one person will have to guess the word on the screen while the phone is on their forehead, and gimmicky games like 1010! and Candy Crush haha.

Do you have any rideshare apps like Lyft or Uber? I have Grab, which is a rideshare, parcel delivery, food delivery, and online grocery app all in one.

Now go to the actual phone app, whose phone numbers are saved as favorites? I don’t tag any of my contacts as favorites.

Who was your most recent outgoing call to? I can’t recognize the number, so it was probably a Transportify driver that I called to give him directions to my house.

Who was your most recent incoming call from? I also can’t recognize the number, but this time he was most likely a Grab driver.

Who was your most recent missed call from? Again, can’t recognize the number HAHAA

Why did you miss that call? On purpose? Were you sleeping? Busy? My phone is on silent 24/7, so I must have missed it while I was working.

Who is your most recent voicemail from and what's it regarding? We don’t have voicemail in the Philippines.

What was the last thing you Googled or searched on your phone? Candle tunneling and how to fix it.

What music app do you use? Apple Music? Spotify? Something else? I use Spotify, but I also availed of a 3-month trial on Apple Music earlier this year just because. I think it’s supposed to end soon but I have no plans to shift.

What playlists have you made on there? I have playlists called, “robyn discovers kpop,” “winding down,” “angst,” “not my loss,” and my personal favorite, “paramore but fuck you.”

Lastly, what is the most recent song/album you've added to your collection? What Type of X - Jessi.

[smidgen-of-hotboy]

Hiiiii!! :) I have answers to your questions and some thoughts on various miscellaneous people of importance in this world. (Aka: Sasha Wire and other Hunters that are familiar with Junos work)

Hellhounds are guard dogs. I've mentioned there are 3 known plains: Waking, fae realm, and Slumbering. Hellhounds are originally from Slumbering but are treated like pets by fae creatures. They are essentially big scary dogs with dark coats, sleek fur, and bone chilling breath. Fae creatures sort of domesticated them and frequently appoint a few to guard active portals. ("Sort of domesticated" because they still have their own agenda and their own nature.)

Can you pet them? Sure but... Say you're Juno Steel and inebriated (read: you're plastered, you're not walking straight, you're drunk) and take a seat in a park to collect your thoughts. It's night time. The town you're in has a curfew. You're ignoring it. You lie down a bench to rest your eyes. A dog comes up to you, sniffs you're face and it's cold. You pet the dog and your hand goes so numb you jump backwards and try to grab your gun but can't because of your numb hand. You watch the dog run off and you are never sure if it A) was way too big to be a normal dog or B) you're just drunk. (Rita tells you when you ask her that hellhounds in that area aren't uncommon. They're looking for lost or dead drunk souls in that park. Ben doesn't say anything and holds you tighter).

Have humans crossed over to Slumbering? None that are alive. More on this later.

What happens if it's found out who opened that portal that's been open for decades now? No hunter knows nor wants to know. (Fae know: nothing. They'll be pissed off still that it got left open but there's nothing much they can do about it)

Is it just a permanent tear between worlds? At this point- Yes. Can it be closed? Also yes, but in the past any fae that has tried were stopped by hunters. What happens if it is closed? Then whatever poor souls (monster or human) have used it to cross over last are stuck on the other side until they find a way back (ie open their own portal or ask for help being sent back)

What happens if a fae who opened a portal dies? Then the portal closes.

"Shimmering silk threads" is a beautiful description and right on the money. I imagine that monsters are capable of sensing and visualizing the magic as it pools around them, but humans are blind to it. Perhaps some are more sensitive to it and feel physically ill when there's so much gathered in one spot. Perhaps with the right enchantment humans can see the magic blankie like monsters can.

Monster Hunters are so fucked (lol). They are hypocrites at large. The ratio of male to female hunters is disproportionate, and as consequence there is unfair treatment towards female hunters (see: the HMHA questioning Juno about Rita's organization system). Many associations dont have digital documentation and are so stuck and stubborn in their old fashioned nature. The HMHA regularly is poked fun of for its database "going digital, pansy greenies cant handle real paper work". At times like this does the association have an actual braincell and defend Rita (multiple public statements have been made, the last one something along the lines, "Our pristine digital archive will outlast our association. While the organization method illudes most of our veteran hunters, it is without a doubt a great asset. Our own Hunter Assisstant Rita is actively teaching greenhorns how to access it on their own, and she continues to make updates yearly." Dark Matters does not have a digital archive though efforts behind the scenes to compile one are being made. They are astounded how just one person could put together an archive like the HMHA's so fast, and a Rita never gives away her secrets (she trains new hunters on how to use it, not how its made))

The scars around Buddy's mouth is from "swallowing the sun". Aurinko was once a well respected name in the fae realm. The Aurinko family was one of the strongest magic wielders, and no one foresaw their kingdom falling. It was so certain that at least they could defend themselves against the hunters.

"Swallowing the sun" is a solar eclipse. In Buddy's streak of bloodthirsty revenge, her magic has flared and she's wrapped the magic blankie so tightly around her, she blotted out the sun and nearly suffocated. She's done this twice: once shortly after realizing her family and whole kingdom were wiped out and she had come face to face with an apprentice who took place in the Hunt and was appointed to full status, and a second time when Jet was turned where she mourned the loss of Jet's humanity and control slipped through her fingers. (Her sending Vespa away to hunt Jet through the wilds was exactly that, and to spare her from darkness. Vespa waited patiently for Buddy to reopen the portal and when she crossed over with Siquliak, Buddy was there frail and ready to fall over with the wind.)

Swallowing the sun as you can imagine fucking burns. Solar elf magic or not- that shit hurts. So yes Buddy's insides are a mess that Vespa and Jet are actively looking for ways to better for her.

Werewolves come in a variety of appearances, and with time that appearance may change. I imagine that its like, the more in accepting you are of the transformation, the more wolf less human it looks.

Jet looks more wolf than human. Like. Big wolf. Massive wolf. Big jowls that could've snapped Juno's neck in half (he's very lucky they didnt). Fur color is mostly brown, grey furs around his muzzle and eyes. When he's docile he just looks sad, and when he's on a "murderous rampage" (as Buddy so eloquently put) there's a frenzied look to his eyes (ya know how in canon they describe the Unnatural Disaster? Yeah- that type of look). Jet really doesn't want to kill, maim, or hurt people though when he's shifted. That's why they keep him in the Lighthouse (he asked for it, Buddy objected but Jet said it was the best thing to do other than set him loose in the fae wilds). Something in his blood though makes him behave this way. A hunters drive ingrained in him even though he hasn't been on a Hunt in years. Now it's more like a predator-prey drive.

And yes the VesBud cat mouse chase! Vespa tells people who ask about her strangely beautiful wife to piss off, but when patrons (read: passerby through CP) ask Buddy about her prickly pear of a dreamboat she tells the most romantic stories about "the fun we used to get up to in our youth" (read: all the ways she tried to kill Buddy but failed)

AND YES YOU GET IT!! Juno became a hunter without a second thought because he wanted to protect Ben. Because he was told that if he didn't he'd put Ben in danger. And so far- that hasn't happened. And ooooohhhh boy you're gonna love and hate and love the next leg of Juno's Hunt. Smth smth- a little lost rabbit, do these people really deserve to die, and "a child?"

And oh yes absolutely!!! The hunters are as I already said: so Fucked. I can say with certainty that Buddy has exacted revenge on some of the hunters that eradicated her kingdom and each time she came face to face with them, none of them remembered who she was, and each time she made it a very slow, painful, and torturous death until they did remember. She burned her image into the backs of their eyes and mind (partially metaphorical, partially literal) until all they could think about and all they could see was Her. Buddy Aurinko. (Bud did not get every last one. Most grew old and died in their sleep. Her rage still burns deep inside, but terrorizing their loved ones won't bring anything. Just another cycle of blood and loss.)

Notes on other people in this au:

Sasha Wire: Junos childhood friend, a Hunter associated with Dark Matters. She attended one of their academies and graduated top of her class. It hasn't been easy for her. Like I mentioned with Vespa, Hunter Associations have turned into a Boys Club of sorts. Sasha fought for every achievement and her letter of recommendation. She showed great tenacity and courage and when presented with an opportunity to get ahead, she always took it. Sasha was teamed with a small group of hunters for a Hunt. They and the other teams were hunting a siren out at sea. While other teams wrecked their boats and had to be rescued (few were, most drowned), Sasha's team didn't wreck. Her teammates were nonetheless compromised by the sirens call. It lures people showing them what they love most. Sasha saw Annie. Sasha reached out to her sister lowering her spear, took her sister's hand, and plunged the spear into her chest, a coldness to her eyes that her teammates will never forget as they awoke from their trance. "My sister is long dead." Now identifying herself as Hunter W, she doesn't talk about her upbringing in Oldtown (tho she was there when DM took control of it and claimed jurisdiction from underneath HMHA). Personally she isn't one for the Boy's Club. She's looking to dismantle it from the inside out. Sasha wants to make the world a safer place for humans (eradicate all monsters) and the first step towards a safer world is restructuring the twisted, corrupt politics of Monster Hunters (pro-criminalizing the use of monster magic). Sticks mostly to work that takes her away from where she's likely to run into to Juno (ie she works mostly at sea)

Little Annie Wire: died to a monster attack out there in Oldtown during a "Test of Bravery". Sasha and Annie both entered the abandoned high school together. It was decommissioned a few years prior because too many kids weren't graduating. Sasha and Annie were meant to spend the whole night inside the building and emerge the next morning with the sunrise. If they succeeded, Annie would be allowed to join them on bigger ventures, Sasha had bragging rights that her sister was tougher than all of them (her, Juno, Mick, and Ben). Monsters had gotten inside the high school and trashed it. When Juno, Mick, and Ben were inside earlier scoping it out there were none they came across. The sisters entered that night. They stayed in the cafeteria sleeping on the floor. Sasha woke up to her sister's terrified screech and sprinted down a hallway, chasing after her as a monster dragged her, its claws hooked into her ankles. Annie wailed. Sasha tripped and watched in horror as the monster dragged her little sister through a portal. She watched as the portal closed. The morning came. The sun rose. Sasha Wire stumbled outside alone. She collapsed into Ben. He and Mick half carried half dragged her home. Juno was uncomfortable by Sasha's distress and equally lost, Mick worked to jurryrig a barricade around the school to ensure no one else got in, and Benzaiten gave a beautiful eulogy. (The Wire family moved out of Oldtown and Sasha came back to visit during the summer. At some point she stopped coming back altogether. Benten never forgot and worked hard to establish the community center to keep the kids from getting into similar trouble. He wanted to work with Mick to put at least one big roof over all of their heads. That dream shattered the day Oldtown was lost to Dark Matters.)

Kanagawas: a family of elite hunters, these are the hunters that own the everlasting portal into the fae wilds. They apprentice hundreds of promising youth a year, and have an uncanny mortality rate. There are rumors circulating in Hunter circles that the Kanagawas keep monsters in cages like Dark Matters.

Cecil: lost their arm to a monster while on a Hunt in the fae wilds, made a whole big deal over it, still milking it years later. Despite being so stupid ridiculous Cecil was an okay Hunter. Found their calling in entertainment. Now writes scripts for shows about hunters (bad scripts, bad writing, cheesy cliche and people eat it up bc they don't understand how truly gritty the work of a hunter is) Knows Juno through Cass, was absolutely smitten with him from the start and begged and weeped to Daddy for Juno to stripped of his title and become an apprentice (Daddy refused). Is the reason people rumor that the family keeps monsters, because despite what happened (losing their arm), Cecil still gathered Hunts to capture monsters and produce entertainment (ie Jaws of Death). Cecil works closely with scientist "studying monsters" (read: creating chimera. Have you ever seen Fullmetal Alchemist? Yeah. Like that.)

Cassandra: if Cecil was an okay hunter, Cass is an exceptional one. Quick as a whip, sharp tongue too, and doesn't back down from a challenge. Cass has participated in her fair share of Hunts. She's crossed over far more than Cecil. Has personally trained over a hundred hunters and seen to the graduation of three dozen of them (the others died). Cass met Juno when he was Hunting the dryad and she watched him kill it. She attended his celebration party and personally congratulated him, gifting Juno with his shotgun. They made an alliance together. Cass introduced him to the rest of her family and he never forgave her. She's always trying to get him to join her on Hunts (he refuses) and he's always trying to get her to spare more guns (she refuses). The two are thick as thieves and the rare Hunts where they did team up together were phenomenal (Cass insists that Juno take the credit and pay out. Together they've hunted: manticores, cockatrice, baby hydra, and rat kings.)

M'Tendere: one of Jet's oldest friends. A fellow hunter left in the dark about Jet's transformation. When Jet never responded to their calls and no reports came in on his last Hunt, they assumed the worst and began mourning. Ceased hunting, turned to drinking, and when they brushed death one evening, became obsessed with opening a portal to the fae wilds, and when they succeeded, they crossed over and didn't return for months. M'tendere came back with the idea that there are other realms to be explored. Other plains of existence not yet tracked. Has since been trying to find a way to open a portal to someplace not the fae wilds.

M'tendere has been somewhat successful over the years. They are the one who coined the terms Waking and Slumbering and they are the one who first hypothesized about Slumbering. M'tendere observed the behavior of hellhounds and concluded that their nature is unlike that of fae. Too different to have originated from the fae realm. They've taken on apprentices and those apprentices have courageously crossed over to Slumbering from open portals, but upon doing so the portal collapses and they haven't returned. It's too unstable for a journey. M'tendere is certain they can do it though. No matter the cost of life, they'll see this through. (They really want to know what happened to Jet. They can't let this go until they do, and once they find him, they want to bring him back. Exchange places. Jet in their eyes is a far more worthy hunter than them)

Alessandra: met Juno when she was newly appointed as a Hunter, Juno hadn't yet lost his eye. She was bright eyed and bushy tailed. Juno was interested in working with her and brought this up with senior hunters of the HMHA, but was advised against it, "It's terrible when you die and leave behind family. It makes it worse when you abandon a partner." She's made quite the name for herself on her own. Taking on jobs with critical precision and logical planning. Considers herself lucky that she doesn't work with Juno because of his reckless attitude. (I haven't thought much on her but I like to think that Alessandra comes to her senses unlike Juno and realizes the real danger she's put herself in, and decides to stop hunting and settle for a sweet domestic life with a hot babe)

I promised to deliver my thoughts about my monster hunter juno au and well, here you are @one-joe-spoopy (@esquemeencanta i got a feeling you'll wanna see this too so here ya go)

To recap from my last post: Juno is a monster hunter. Rita is his right hand lady. Ben is alive. Vespa is human. Rita is human. Juno and Ben are human. Buddy is an elf. Jet is a werewolf. Peter is a changeling.

I also mentioned last post about how changelings work but to recap: changelings are the abandoned children of fae. They are exchanged for a human child and live out their lives until they return to the fae realm or rip of their human parents face.

!This is your obligatory gore and violence warning!

there are different realms, most notably: Waking (where all the living are), Fae (elves, changelings, nymph and dryad, and ofc fae), Slumbering (the place where dead and lost souls wander). There may be others but so far Monster Hunters haven't found a way to cross over to them. Not yet.

Nureyev was found as an abandoned child in the streets of Brahma. Mag (human) took interest and took him in. He trained him to be a thief. Eventually, Peter turned on him and ripped his face off. His instincts had kicked in and he was starving. He had always been hungry, nothing could satisfy him until he held Mag's face in his hands. New Kinshasa monster hunters chased him out of New Kinshasa and hunted him throughout Brahma. He met Slip while on the run

Slip is a monster sympathizer. He sides with Petya and believes in a free world where no more blood is spilled. He turns a blind eye to Petya's bloodlust and has helped him in the past secure meals. Together they've traversed across Brahma to Saraswati and there Peter was cornered by monster hunters. He was captued, drugged, and released for a hunt. He ran back to Slip and in his confusion hurt him, causing Slip to fall unconsious. He was found and recaptured but not executed. They took Slip from him despite his efforts to fight back. For a time Peter wasn't sure if Slip would survive... Slip has since recovered but is wanted by monster hunter associations in Saraswati, Brahma, and New Kinshasa for his betrayal to humanity.

Peter works for monster hunters to evade monster hunters to keep Slip safe. His "Keepers" are a monster hunting duo that are rumored to keep monsters in cages. No one knows about Peter because anyone who did is dead. Either bc Peter ripped their face off or bc the Keepers eliminated them personally. Peter is their most prized possession. The Keepers are the monster hunters that found and recaptured Peter in the first place. They are the ones that took Slip away to be taken care of.

So Peter takes out other monsters bc he's told to. He also takes out Monster Hunters, eliminating his Keeper's rivals. Blood covers the path he's walked. He is very tired of living like this chained to them, but they're withholding Slip. So long as Peter works for them, they ensure Slip is safe. And so long as Slip is safe, that's all that matters to him.

Juno, meanwhile, was a punk turned cop. He worked alongside Puck Falco for the hcpd. A case led to an arrest of a 76 year old monster hunter who babbled things about the apocalypse and how they're all doomed if they let monsters run rampant. While in their custody the monster hunter is killed by a monster and sharpshooter Juno shoots the monster down. He's awarded and recognized and approached by Hyperion Monster Hunter Association, the HMHA. He's told its more high risk high reward than cop work. He wasn't going to accept the offer until they name dropped Benzaiten. "His life will be hell if you don't take this offer Steel. Monsters got their own hunters out there. And if we can find him just by a quick check on you, they'll find him too. It's all about exchange. Eye for an eye. Blood for blood."

Juno becomes a monster hunter to protect Benten. He resigns from the hcpd leaving Puck without a partner, and Rita follows after him. He tells her it won't be safe and he tries to urge her to go back to Puck to the hcpd but she insists that "ain't no one seen the potential in her like he has. And ain't no one taken Rita as seriously as him. And ain't no way she letting him do this dangerous stuff alone, he needs someone for back up and she's just the right Rita for the job."

Juno begins monster hunting. Benzaiten is endlessly worried for Juno but Rita always covers and soothes those fears "he's okay. I'm his back up and so far we've done great together"

Juno as a cop used regular bullets. Juno as Monster Hunter uses special silver bullets bc silver is known to burn and kill most monsters. He's armed with a pistol always but also owns a shotgun and sniper he breaks out for special jobs. He doesn't love his job, but it does indeed pay better than being a cop. He's content with his life and rather reckless.

Rita does not know of the horrors Juno faces in the field. If she did she'd be clutching her pearls and asking him what happened next. She knows its dangerous work but she doesn't have the blood on her hands. The HMHA raised a brow at Juno for bringing her on board, but they didn't question it any further when that was Juno's only condition he wanted to be met

Monster Hunting culture works so that hunters can take up job offers that are posted through their affiliated association, alternatively they can be hired by a third party. Going on "Hunts" is a group effort and usually involves senior hunters from an association capturing a monster, caging it, riling it up (prodding it with weapons, taunting it, starving it, etc) and releasing it to be chased after for sport. Greenhorn hunters frequently get injured or die during their first Hunt. All hunters participating have the opportunity to capture the monster or kill it. Either way they're celebrated. If a greenhorn hunter is the one to successfully kill or capture the monster, they are honored with a feast and recognized by either graduating from the Academy (this is what happened to Sasha), completion of their apprenticeship, or offered a position as part of the association (this is what happened to Juno. He was first approached to join, participated in Hyperion's Hunt, and was the one to kill the Hunt's monster (a gnarled dryad that was more forest than nymph))

Miasma is an eldritch abomination. A non newtonian fluid that solidifies liquid tentacles into sharp points that pierce Juno's skin and poke out his eye. The only way to stop her was to blow her up and contain her in a jar. Juno lost his eye and couldn't walk for months but Ben took care of him and Rita helped out. As soon as he could though he was back on his feet taking on job posting

Ramses O'Flaherty approaches him with an offer of a new eye and job. Juno accepts both (the eye is an organic eye enchanted by monster's magic. Juno is indifferent to having it, but other Hunters look down on him for it. They call him a crooked hunter, a dirty one at that behind his back) the requires Juno to act as a bodyguard. O'Flaherty is running for mayor and worried about being assassinated by monsters for his policies (he believes in a free Hyperion, rid of all the monsters, rid of even its Monster Hunters. Juno questions why hire him then and O'Flaherty asks why work for him if he wants to take away Juno's job. They're at odds sure, but Juno wants to be paid and O'Flaherty wants the peace of mind). Each task Juno is assigned by O'Flaherty, someone dies. Their eyes are scratched out, the tongues clipped, faces torn clean off. Juno thinks it's the Piranha and shoots them dead. Juno uncovers the truth and finds out it was O'Flaherty. O'Flaherty is a monster. He hired Juno to protect him from monster attacks, to keep his hands clean. Jack Takano is the first changeling Juno comes face to face with and never knew it until it was too late. He died starving but Juno buries a silver bullet in him for good measure. There's no reward or pleasure in it. He gets rid of the enchanted eye (gouges it out himself and nearly dies a second time losing an eye) and looks for different work. OldTown falls. A new hunting association moves in, NewTown Monster Hunter Association (NTMHA) and they're backed by Dark Matters. HMHA is not.

Shortly after theres a job posting for an upcoming art gala security. Some of the art on display and for purchase is art by humans. Other pieces are ancient "artifacts" belonging to monsters (humans don't know what they're actually for) Ben insists that he not take the job offer considering how his last venture as bodyguard turned out but alas. Juno doesn't know what's actually good for him or when to quit. He takes the job.

Juno arrives at the gala hours early to monitor set up. There's going to be a lot of elite socialite in attendance. There's a lot of hunters also on security like Juno. The gala starts and Juno is watching the front door. Benzaiten Steel enters the gala in a beautifully tailored suit hanging off the arm of a hot date. Junos stomach drops out from underneath him but ofc tonight should be safe. There's so many hunters in attendance. They'll be safe...

And there is so so so much more but yea know this is already a lot so I'll tuck the rest away for later ^-^

[comicteaparty]

May 2nd-May 8th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from May 2nd, 2020 to May 8th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

What are some of the weirdest things you've Googled while researching for your story?

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

For Whispers of the Past, the weirdest thing I googled was probably: "puncture wounds versus lacerations" and "chance of survival after getting stabbed." Pretty sure I also looked up: "treatment for arsenic poisoning," "lethal dose of arsenic," "arsenic in nature," "broken ribs symptoms and treatments," "pneumothorax," "can a horse kill someone by trampling them?" and "how far can you fall without dying?" Basically, just a bunch of medical questions. For another story, I think the weirdest thing I looked up was, "can you take antidepressants and sleeping pills together?" More medical questions

carcarchu

@ cronaj's answer "i swear i'm an author not a serial killer"

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Hmmm.

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

I think for me was searching up symptoms of PTSD, eating disorders, and also victims of cheating

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Probably that time trying to research poisonous substances available in Victorian and earlier households with potentially fatal results if ingested but not immediate, and their symptoms/treatments

The answer, incidentally, is that most of them aren't treatable if you've had a high enough dose to get symptoms.

And non-lethal doses tend to have unpleasant long term effects

Deo101 [Millennium]

I don't remember all the crazy stuff I've looked up. What's popping into my head at the moment, though, is I did almost a month of research into time travel paradoxes for a plot that I ended up not using! So that's fun

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Also that Victorians kept arsenic (a white powder) in the same place as sugar (a white powder) in often unmarked containers since literacy was low and labels only work if you can read them

There was far more accidental poisonings from putting arsenic in your tea than I can count

carcarchu

what about having a picture of a skull and cross bones on the arsenic tin

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

I think it was arsenic. Maybe cynanide...

Ahaha

You'd think so wouldn't you?

That's not even going into the whole thing about green dyes for clothing being made from arsenic as well I think and being uh

Literally fatal to wear?

Well done, Victorians.

Let me grab y'all a source for that one

https://youtu.be/K2McemVuG28

Here you go!

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Oh my god what the

Them victorians are so morbid

Did you know that they have a garden of poison

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Welcome to writing historical!

Yes I did

I wanna go

But yeah go back a century or two

Literally everything seems to be poisonous

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Arsenic, radium......damn they don’t follow WHMIS

carcarchu

wasn't even that long ago when they were putting mercury in everything

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Including NORMAL FOOD

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

And toys

Kids were playing with them

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Oh the Bradford Sweets Poisoning was a whole thing!

Hang on

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/1858_Bradford_sweets_poisoning

This one is uh

Definitely worse

carcarchu

bruh

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Yeah

There's so much of this...

It's amazing humanity made it this far

So yeah that's what I've googled

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Would that...even fly here nowadays

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

What the arsenic

Nooope

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Hooooo god that is mildly terrifying

Like I make sweets for a living

I don’t even want to think how I’ll feel if I accidentally poisoned 200 people

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

It did lead to modern food hygiene laws and much better regulations on chemists being responsible for their supplies

But yep

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

I remember someone telling me “Behind every rule/regulation was someone who got hurt or died”

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Yeahhhh

Sometimes also where there aren't rules because hahaha some companies are shit

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Yeah it’s sucks and it’s even worse because you KNOW they’re just pushing the limits

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Capitalism has always been like that, it's just people can see it a bit more now

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Yeah, the age of information has really exposed the nasty side of things huh Hmmm I think I’ve studied something really different for my webcomic. I was looking into the justice system and how it treated minors

And I had to look up burn victims/homicides soooooooooooo

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Whoops sorry for the ping, I thought you said mirrors not minors and was gonna ask

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Oh god that would be....completely different

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

I'm writing about vampires, mirrors are more common (concept and word)..

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Yes! I think it’s because back in the day silver was used in mirrors and that’s why you can’t see a vampire’s reflection

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

weirdest thing I searched so far is about er the male modeling industry and how they have to slap cheeks and junks to get the body to fill in clothing

and I wondered "do I need to do a deep dive in this or"

Nutty (Court of Roses)

I tried to look up what damaged vocal cords looked like, so i could show it when Count Bailey got poisoned, but I mostly got body camera shots inside a person's throat, so I had to largely wing it by darkening the veins in his neck lol Other than that, I have to look up Irish slang a lot, as Merlow slips into it more when he gets drunk.

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

I have a twittee thread somewhere about mirrors and vampires

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Okay tuyetnhi I’m a bit more...disturbed yet intrigued by that idea. Nutty yes I noticed that! I liked that small detail actually And Eilidh, i would love to see that twitter thread

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Yeah, I ended up making a deep dive and ho boi

it's darker than I expected LOL

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I tried to look up people getting crushed by cars or falling objects but the videos were very blurry and made me dizzy so I just went fuck it my comic's not realistic anyways I'm winging it

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

Probably an extensive search for all things occult? Its such a wide topic so it was daunting to sift through everything, but also really cool to see so many different cultures have been influenced by such things! Ive read some excerpts about the sixth sense and human capabilities too, very interesting!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!) That is the most splendidly weird research I have heard of

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I was trying to research for one of my characters and i'm just

the things they do

I scream everyday

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

lol tuyetnhi got me to look it up but all I can find is stuff about sexual assault

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

that's what I mean

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

OH

:(

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Whoa okay

That’s really dark

Like I had to look up abuse relations

DanitheCarutor

Oh geez, I've looked up a lot of stuff. Recently I Googled public bathrooms and backs of toilets because I'm too lazy to get up and look at my own toilet. SAECKs/SAKs, the price with and without insurance, how it works and if men can use them. (Which was kinda sad that I didn't know they could although the resource was surprisingly hard to find, all except one link I found were about women using them.) I've looked up medical stuff like the different stages of certain cancers, their symptoms, treatments and other things involves like their effect on the person's mental health, if things like physical therapy is needed and the effects of the treatment along with the types of treatment needed. Also the cost with and without insurance, as well as cancer treatment facilities for people with low income. Various mental illnesses/disorders, the different types treatment, the effects of the treatment, as well as cost and facilities that offer free/cheaper treatment for people with low income. Lactose intolerance, celiac disease, gaslighting, trauma brought on by abuse. Things like the mental effects of children taking on adult responsibilities early on, growing up with lack of stability and human trafficking. Types of physical abuse that doesn't leave obvious bruising/scarring, psychological abuse (outside of gaslighting). Court stuff, like legal charges for attempted murder, court procedures. Caregiver programs for family members caring for someone with a severe mental illness. What actions are taken when someone files a charge for being drugged against their consent and the steps that need to be taken if your ID and credit cards/debit cards have been stolen, as well as what the police need do in those situations. Gosh, I can go on and on, just go on forever about all the things I've researched.

Most of it is medical and mental health related.

I feel this is fitting for some of the subjects we've Googled.

DanitheCarutor

Wow, I didn't realize how much I looked at the cost of stuff. Like a good chunk of my research has been dedicated to what different insurances cover, how much, the base price without insurance and payment plans for people in the latter category. I guess the upside is I'll have some knowledge on the different insurance companies if I ever get to a point where I can get it, as well as payment plan options if I'm ever hospitalized.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Googling images of cadaver hands for reference was... not a pleasant experience

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Most recently I was looking for heart dissections. I had to take a break cuz I was making myself feel sick X')

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Searching up burn victims was not fun either

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

also this has made me realize that artists can be a very morbid bunch

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

yeah like dang ya'll lmao

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I know someone who had to look up (a bit gory) "can you strangle/hang someone with your intestines"

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Chances are the audience is not gonna know either so

dunno how much accuracy matters in this situation :p(edited)

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

I mean....unfortunately I know what it's like to see a drowned corpse So if it's accurate....I would...strangely appreciate it more?

Like you never know your audience

DanitheCarutor

When I was first starting to dabble in comics I was attempting this dark fantasy/mythology-ish story that would have some gore. I looked up stuff like "skull being crushed", "what does 'x' limb look like when being ripped off", "what does a corpse look like after sitting for 'x' many days". Most of my searched led me to the Best Gore site, which is totally recommended if you need references for your gory horror comic, but is NOT a site for the faint of heart. You will most likely get sick from the content... and the comment section.

Oddly enough, when I used to do the occasional stand alone gore-ish illustration I'd get 1-2 comments with people being grateful for the accuracy. It's... interesting that they would know what would and wouldn't be accurate with stuff like that.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh, I looked up burn victims before.... Yeah, I've looked up a lot of weird stuff.

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

I had to look up fresh and healed burnscar myself for a comic, a character survivived a housefire.

Most of the time I am googling history actually - and mostly tech-levels of a given time and what was contemporary with what - guns and knights for example co-existed for quite a few decades, that kind of stuff.

Deo101 [Millennium]

Y'know I'm thinking about it more, and I'm realizing why I can't recall the weird stuff I've looked up. I usually ask people for information! I know a lot of different kinds of people who are more than happy to talk about their experiences, so I can ask them for first hand experience with a lot of situations where I then don't really need to look up much other than to maybe fill some holes I have. It's a different kind of research

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Huh, the weirdest thing I’ve googled? Well, there’s the ever-uncomfortable ‘Googling certain body types for reference but probably looking like a creep to anyone who looks at my search history’. I’ve also googled very oddly specific things like ‘What is a 5-cube called?’ (It’s a pentaract). I’ve also watched videos that demonstrate how a bump key works, and to my FBI agent, I swear it was only for my comic. My search history gets pretty eclectic. I look up a lot of religious lore, and do lot of research into medieval times - mostly about the daily life of the average peasant. Also things like quantum physics, customs in other countries, and animal facts.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Just realizing that I once researched "medieval brewing." That was an interesting train of information.

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

For a lot of gruesome or dangerous scenes, I try to aim the search toward movies and TV screencaps. Like, if you need to draw a crashing car, find a series with a dramatic car chase where they slammed a stunt car into a wall in high-def slow-mo.

kayotics

I think the weirdest thing I looked up was trying to figure out the answer to the question “is the gas released by decomposing bodies flammable? And if so how much gas do you need?”

eli [a winged tale]

now I’m curious what’s the answer

kayotics

The answer ended up being that if there was enough gas being created it was probably not enough to be flammable: aka it would not light up the room.

I ended up asking a friend who knows more about decomposition to figure out the answer, but I just wanted to make sure if a character brought a torch into a musty murder basement, it wouldn’t light them up like a Christmas tree

Mostly: it gets smelly and stale

eli [a winged tale]

Good to know!

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

Hmm I think the wierd thing I looked up was whether Smile Therapy was a real practice? There are Photos too and I have a feeling it was real. Another thing I look up was; How would a real lady pirate dress in historical times? I did alot of extra research for some little visual hints.(edited)

I feel like Mob psycho nailed the creepiness of Smile Therapy because they were patients forced to pretend to smile, that's what I envision each time. That ep stayed with me(edited)

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

oh my god

Miranda

What is that picture from?? it's creepy haha(edited)

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

mob psycho 100

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

smile therapy is terrifying. Imagine getting punished if you didn't smile

in the end you'll be smiling as a conditioned reaction to fear, not because it's genuine

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

Yes exactly, the original one was hard to record so the Google was ambiguous about its existence but there's photo proof that it was a thing

[archer30384699-blog]

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[ageless-aislynn]

Title: “Partners In...Other Things” Author:  @ageless-aislynn​ Characters/fandom: Caitlin Snow/Harrison Wells|Eobard Thawne (ReverseFrost), The Flash Summary:  Caitlin and Eobard tackle an unexpected situation. Follows “By Any Other” and “Proper Motivation,” the third part of the Partners In Crime series. Rating:  PG-13 Length:  2,377 Spoilers/warnings: None Disclaimer: Definitely not mine but I do enjoy borrowing them just for a bit! ;) A/N: This was originally meant for the 2018 Snowells Week but it just didn't seem to fit, once all was said and done. I got most of it written at that time, though, and when I came across it again the other day, suddenly my muse wanted to finish it. *spreads hands* So, here we have it, lol! ;) If you read, I hope you enjoy! ♥

Eobard leaned over the latest project on his lab table, hearing the click of Caitlin's heels long before she appeared. The sound was familiar and reassuring, which was more than a little disconcerting.

Now, very carefully, with the utmost precision... he thought, threading a hair-thin wire through a tiny ring.

"I think I'm pregnant," Caitlin announced from the doorway.

It was a credit to his extremely steady hands that the involuntary flinch in his shoulders didn't translate into a mile-wide smoking crater rippling through several multiverses with their charred corpses in the center.

"Maybe next time wait until I'm not building a quantum bomb to tell me something like that," he said, sealing the device securely away before looking at her.

Her expression was a mix of annoyance and abject terror but, to her credit, she was holding back the cold. Even the roots of her hair remained brown, without even a flicker of icy white.

"Now," he said, "let's try that again. Why do you think you're pregnant?"

"I missed my period and we have a lot of sex that we're not always careful about."

He arched an eyebrow. "Well, that could do it, true. But you've had irregular periods before."

She gave him a sharp look.

"What?" he said, spreading his hands. "I'm observant, I notice these sorts of things. So is there something more than that? Have you taken a pregnancy test?"

"Not yet."

Her hair was still blowing when he blurred back into the room, a small box in hand.

"Here you go," he said graciously, offering it to her.

"Do you just keep these laying around?" she scoffed.

"I hadn't shoplifted anything in three days. I was beginning to lose my supervillain street cred," he said in a similar tone, shaking the box gently at her.

"You probably left money on the counter," she retorted sullenly but snatched the box from him and marched away.

He followed, neither confirming nor denying, but inwardly he wondered if his supervillain street cred was irrevocably damaged in the public's eyes or just in hers.

"I don't need help with this," she said, shutting the bathroom door in his face.

"Never meant to suggest you did," he murmured and retreated to the kitchen to make coffee. When in doubt, placate Killer Frost with coffee, he thought then his hand paused in mid-air. Wait, if she really is pregnant, she shouldn't have caffeine.

In the end, he went with decaf just to be safe.

She was gone for so long, he thought she was waiting out the results without him but eventually she strode through the doorway and mutely sat at the table. He put her coffee in front of her and she took a sip, then grimaced and shot him one of her patented icy expressions.

A kitchen drone approached with a speculative whir?, expecting her to make her opinion on decaf known with a toss of the mug against the wall. Instead, she continued to drink, one hand reaching down to idly pet the top of the drone's domed head. The whir became a purr that he had never programmed in.

He joined her at the table and, as he set his own mug down, she snatched it up and took a drink from it, then arched a brow at him.

"Just easier to make them the same," he said with a shrug. "But now you've got lipstick on my second favorite mug."

The white mug had a black checkered flag logo that read "Now Entering The Speed Zone." Zone had been crossed out in red and Force was written off to the side. A pale coral stain was barely visible on the rim.

"It's your color," she said and hid the ghost of a smile behind her own pale blue mug as she drank.

They sat there silently until a timer chimed from the distance. Caitlin's mug clattered loudly against the table top.

Eobard resisted the urge to superspeed into the bathroom. "Shall we?" he said very politely and let her go ahead of him. She slowed the closer they got to the bathroom doorway until he thought he was going to have to push her the rest of the way in.

"Okay," she said with a heavy explosion of breath, picking up the stick from the sink. "It says... Um, what does that say?"

He squinted over her shoulder. "I believe the official term is 'a little bit pregnant,' isn't it?"

"It's inconclusive?" she said, flinging the test away, her tone growing shriller. "Inconclusive? I--"

White appeared at the roots of her hair and the ambient temperature of the room dropped.

"Cait," he warned.

"You've got something to stop me," she said, grabbing his arm. "You've got to have made some sort of weapon to stop me from icing out."

"Caitlin," he said and it was a different warning in his voice.

"I know you, Eobard. I'm too dangerous for you not to have made something to stop me!"

Her fingers bit into his arm, cold but not yet enough to do damage either to himself or to her maybe, maybe not unborn.

"You can stop yourself," he said firmly.

"Eobard!"

He leaned down into her face and said in a tone every bit as cold as hers, "And if I had a weapon, what do you think it would do to a baby?"

That made her panic slam to a stop. The cold receded from her hands and the roots of her hair returned to their usual brown.

"Now," he said, lightening his tone. "Let's settle this in the lab. You can certainly run a simple pregnancy test yourself, can't you?"

She nodded but, once she was standing there with the syringe in her hand, she balked. "You know, this is probably just a false alarm. Like you said, I've been irregular before. If I just give it a few more days..."

He gave her a look.

"All right," she muttered.

"All right," he echoed calmly.

***

"Take me for a run," Caitlin said as she completed the test and disposed of the syringe.

Eobard looked back and forth from her to the machine whirling away behind her.

"The results won't take long--" he started to say but then saw the gleam of silver in her eyes and changed tactics. "Where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere not here. Away. I don't care. Just run."

He picked her up, cradling her to his chest, and sped off. He kept far below his limit, again not certain of what the effect of high speed could be if she was pregnant, and made an educated guess as to what location might suit her current need.

So they ended up three states over and on the top of a high-rise owned by one of his many shell companies. He'd picked this one because it had a particularly nice view of the sunset over the cityscape.

When he put her down, she staggered away a few steps, gulping breath like she'd been underwater too long.

"I can't do this," she said, holding up a hand as if to either ward him off or to lean against his chest and she hadn't yet decided which. "I can't, I won't make my child feel like my mother made me feel. And I don't want them to grow up without a dad like I did."

That stung unexpectedly, as if she'd hurled an icicle deep into his chest. "Whatever you might think of my parenting skills," he said tightly, "I don't have any doubt in yours. I think you'll be a great mom."

She was so in her own head at the moment, she didn't even register the insult she'd delivered.

"I don't have control," she said, staring blindly into the sunset. Long streaks of color smeared the sky, purple and pink and yellow and blue, but she didn't even see her favorite time of day unfolding in front of her. "You've helped me more than I ever thought you could but... Can I go nine months and not turn even once? What happens later? I'm frazzled from being up several nights in a row and the baby's crying and I go to pick her up and I lose control for one second and..."

The word trailed off with a shuddery breath.

"That's not going to happen," he said.

"You can't be sure about that," she said angrily, scrubbing at her face with the heel of her hand, trying to hold back tears. Despite her best effort, ice glittered on her cheeks. "Being a single mom is hard enough without having to be terrified you're going to kill your child with a careless touch!"

This time, he wasn't letting that go unchallenged. "What a shame that your child doesn't have a father who's standing right here to help you, isn't it? Are you planning on moving out immediately or do I at least get to spend a few hours with the baby? Do I get visitations or am I not even good enough for that much?"

She looked at him as if seeing him for the first time. "What? No, I didn't mean it like that. I meant... Look, I know your endgame has always been to get back to your own time. This thing with us... It's always been temporary."

His mouth opened then snapped shut. How could she know him so well in some ways and not know him at all? Before he could decide how to respond to that -- break the illusion and tell her the truth or let her keep on thinking what she obviously did -- she'd gone on.

"Whether it's now or years from now, you're going to find a way to go back. What's going to happen then? Are you going to just look us up to see how things turned out for us? Or will you find a way to pull this child from their timeline, take them back with you to yours?" Her bottom lip quivered but she determinedly narrowed her eyes. "Because if you're planning on taking my daughter or son away from me, I promise you, you will have the fight of your life on your hands."

He pursed his lips, exhaling noisily as he struggled to let go of the anger of his pricked ego in the face of her barely concealed fear. "Caitlin," he said flatly and let his tone convey the entire argument.

Emotions washed over her face and, for a moment, she looked more like her previous self than she had in a long while. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "You didn't deserve that."

She rubbed her face again. "It's just I know how much you love your home."

"Maybe I've come to love... a new home," he murmured, his words skidding out at the last possible moment. Cowardice is a bad look on you, Eobard, he silently chastised himself.

She studied him for a long while as an entirely different set of emotions chased themselves across her face. In the end, she merely nodded and walked back to him. "Let's go get the results."

***

"Negative for human chorionic gonadotropin," Caitlin read aloud. "I'm not pregnant."

"Are you okay?" Eobard asked as he scanned the results once more.

"Yeah," she said, screwing her mouth about speculatively. "I'm relieved and a little sad, I guess. Is that weird?"

"Completely normal, I think," he assured her.

She chuckled dryly. "It's been a while since anybody's called me that. What about you?"

"Oh," he said airily, "I get called normal all the time whenever I'm enacting a nefarious plan while wearing my evil, yellow super-suit with my eyes glowing red."

She scoffed noisily but her tone was gentle. "How are you feeling about this whole near-miss? Do you... want kids?"

"Sure," he said and his easy answer startled a surprised noise out of her. "Not what you were expecting?"

"Our lifestyle isn't exactly family-friendly," she pointed out. "So, no."

"Hey, if we want to have a family, we can go straight--" as she arched a brow at him, he amended on the fly "--er. We can go straighter. Dial back the chance that some arch nemesis might think it's a good idea to target our kids. We can take 'mischief vacations' whenever we want to pull a job, then the rest of the time be a fun, happening PTA family unit who will launch anybody who threatens us into the nearest sun. We can have whatever life we want to have, Cait. We're not just partners in crime, you know? Nobody limits us but us."

That was as perilously close to a declaration of his true feelings as he'd ever dared. He fought to keep his breathing from growing increasingly more shallow as he waited for her response.

She took that all in for a bit, then shook herself slightly, silver appearing in her eyes. "I'm going to go ice out, blow off some steam."

He nodded slightly, exhaling in a controlled breath and desperately clinging to his patented nonchalant mien. "Have fun," he said with a be my guest roll of one hand. "I've got a quantum bomb to finish."

He started past her in the direction of his lab, but she paused him with a touch to his arm. Her gaze locked onto the emblem on his chest and, with the tip of a finger, she circled it as if it were new to her. For a moment, it seemed like she had so many things she wanted to say that the enormity of it all overwhelmed her into silence.

But then she simplified it. "I love you, too," she said quietly, glancing up at him through her lashes.

"Of course you do. I'm very lovable," he said but his flippant tone wasn't quite up to its usual standards and he'd paused a second too long, a lifetime in speedster terms.

The start of a wry, knowing smile tugged at her mouth and he quickly pulled her into an embrace, burying his face in her hair so she couldn't see his face. He'd already given away enough today, thank you very much. Had to save a few things to surprise her with in the future, after all.

[theinvisiblespoon]

Two characters of your choice enjoying hot chocolate together.

Word Count: 1368

Trigger Warnings: rampant anxiety, paranoia, anger, creepster being creepy

Thank you to @ironwoman359 for beta reading this for me! I’ve updated it since you have, lol.

The clouds hung low in the sky, turning the city ashen grey. Humidity stayed static in the air, and the smell of rain foreshadowed the oncoming storm. No sunlight penetrated the dark clouds, but there was just enough light to see clearly. Pedestrians shuffled by, shifty eyes under the brims of hats, and a man stepped out from his one-bedroom apartment and into the street. He finished buttoning his old black jacket, put on a scarf, looked once at the sky, and headed towards his destination. 

He enjoyed watching the people around him go about their day. He was rather inconspicuous (albeit taller than he would have liked) and so most people didn’t notice the stranger walking by. While he passed, he saw a mother trying to soothe her baby. A college student ran by, backpack much too full to be healthy. As he glanced at an employee taking out the trash, a businesswoman bumped into his shoulder and nearly knocked him over. She was talking loudly into a brand new iPhone 7, and didn’t bother to apologize. As he watched her stride away, he saw a flicker out of the corner of his eye. He whirled around, but nothing was there. The crowd filtered around him as a twinge of anxiety gathered in the pit of his stomach. 

“Hey, move outta the way!” someone grumbled as they pushed past him. Heart still pounding, he let himself be dragged back into the flow of the crowd, walking towards his destination a little quicker than usual.

He stopped at the blackboard sign outside — “There is no black or white, only earl grey. Tea 15% off this weekend!” — and opened the door. 

The sounds of the Starbucks relaxed him immediately, and he unconsciously smiled as he stepped into line. He looked over the menu absently, but his thoughts were elsewhere; the music and the murmurs and the whirs of the equipment faded away. 

I can’t pay rent. Maybe everyone is right. I should just give up. I can’t go forward. I can’t go back.

“Welcome to Starbucks, how may I help you?“ 

He snapped out of his reverie at once. "Uh… sorry, I would like a tall hot chocolate with whipped cream." 

"Got it,” replied the barista in a dull monotone. 

He paid and stood over at the other end of the counter to wait for his drink. Looking down, he saw he had been picking at his calluses yet again. 

“Damn it,” he muttered under his breath. It was then that he spied someone staring at him from the corner of his eye. He didn’t look at whoever it was; he didn’t want to. Instead, he found himself more acutely aware of his own movements and settled on tugging at a stray thread on his scarf. His heart, defying anatomy, rose to somewhere in his throat. 

It took years to get his hot chocolate, but it finally came. He grabbed it anxiously, pivoted and spotted a lone table in the corner of the coffee shop, and carefully picked his way through the crowd. Sitting down, he scanned the people around him but found no one watching him or noticing him in any sense. He let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding and took a sip from his cup. He didn’t have to worry. It’s alright, he thought to himself, it’s fine. You’re okay.

It was only after another five minutes that the ball of tension in his stomach unwound itself. Content, he lessened his death grip on his beverage and closed his eyes. People talked and laughed; jazz played lightly in the background, and the beginnings of rain offered percussion. All of this he heard, but someone sliding into the seat across from him drowned out all other sounds. 

He jolted up, eyes flying open, and stared at the person across from him. They stared back. The song ended, and the dim light cast menacing shadows across their face. Neither broke eye contact. 

The music began again, and the other figure spoke. “Hello." 

He hesitated. He was unnerved, but he would not say so. Swallowing, he responded, "Can I help you?" 

"I was… was only saying hi." 

"Well then. Hello.” He stood up to leave, but the stranger rose suddenly and blocked his path.

“No, wait, uh, I just wanted to, just, um—” This is not what he would have expected them to sound like. Stuttering and losing your nerve isn’t something you expect in someone so frightening. You don’t anticipate the monsters under your bed being afraid of you. 

“Hey,” he said gently. “Take a breath, okay?" 

The person he had feared a second ago breathed deeply and, in doing so, became more of a weirdo than a menace. "S-sorry. I’m nervous." 

"That’s alright.” His wife always told him he would get killed by his kindness. He firmly shook that memory away and sat down again. “What were you saying?" 

"This will probably sound really weird,” they started. “Like. Super weird. Okay.” The stranger took another breath while he waited. The rain tapped on the roof above the pair. They glanced up at him. “I know you." 

The unease came back as soon as it had vanished. "We’ve never met." 

"I mean, not technically, but—”

“We haven’t met,” he insisted. “I would remember you.” Despite the circumstances, he hated how accusatory he sounded. “Now, if you’ll excuse me—”

“You’re a poet, but you really enjoy playing the violin.” He froze. That was… not hard to figure out. Just a little research. Don’t panic.

“You play on street corners, and you love it, but you’re in debt. You can’t pay your rent. You’ve moved away from your wife and your kid.” He inhaled sharply, and his eyes widened, but they continued further. “You still love them. You love your wife, but she doesn’t love you because she figured out you’re bisexual." 

"Stop.” It was barely a whisper. 

“You have a lot of friends, but they barely know you. You’re afraid to be alone, but afraid to open up to anyone. You also hate violence. You can’t stand it, because your dad was a corrupt cop—" 

"Don’t." 

"—who was accidentally shot when you were six. You waited for him in the window, and it was eleven at night before any police officers showed up at your empty house. They caught the mugger and put him in jail, but he was released five years ago for good behavior and you still keep tabs on him. You’re paranoid. You push down your fear and your anger because you hate that you’re so damn angry—”

“I said stop.” When had he stood up? He was shaking. A few customers around him had noticed him. The rain pounded outside.

They opened their mouth, and then closed it. “I’m sorry." 

He glanced at the crowd around him and sat again. He wrapped his hands around his hot chocolate and glared at the intruder in front of him. "Who are you?" 

"My name is… Sebastian. He/him. You don’t need to know anything else about me,” he said quietly.

“Like hell I—" 

"You shouldn’t know anything else about me,” Sebastian urged. “It’s not safe." 

He exhaled slowly. He pushed down his anger collected himself before speaking again. "Why are you here? What do you want?”

Sebastian seemed at a loss. His eyes moved to his hands, clasped on the table between them. “I wanted to say hello." 

"That’s not good enough." 

Sebastian grimaced. "I… wanted to say I’m sorry. You try to be kind. You still do." 

The rain fell in sheets, and the two of them stared at each other again. Sebastian’s eyes sparkled a bright green in the dim light. 

"I’m sorry we couldn’t talk more,” Sebastian continued. “I would have liked to actually know you.” He stood and checked his watch. “I’m not supposed to be here." 

He stood too, staring at Sebastian incredulously. "You can’t just—" 

Sebastian awkwardly reached out and touched his shoulder softly. "I’m so sorry, Adam. I really am. I—” he sighed and looked away, dropping his hand. “So long." 

Sebastian turned and walked out into the pouring rain. Adam watched him until he was long out of sight. 

Adam sipped his hot chocolate. It was cold. 

Taglists;

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[taakofromtaz]

hook, line, and sunken memories

Summary: 

taako takes angus fishing and opens up a little

Notes: (transposed from AO3)

We spent the weekend at Lake Cumberland back at the beginning of October and I got to chill in the boat while my stepdad tried to catch fish. (he caught the world’s smallest catfish lol) I wrote part of this from our cottage/hotel room and I would sit there feeling the phantom boat sways for Literal Hours.

I gotta say, the relationship between Taako and Angus is one of my favorite ones in the entire series. There’s so much there that goes unspoken for one reason or another, but you can see it, right there, in between the lines. You just gotta look for ‘em.

>this is set after the wrestling show and may or may not be after the 11th hour, idk

[potential warning for potentially inaccurately portrayed anxiety attack]

Word count: 2601

part of the beautiful magic boys series.

[writing tag] | [Archive of Our Own] | [fic index] | [please consider donating!] 

When Taako tells Angus to wear something light and comfortable one day in the late spring, Angus expects something wildly different. Angus suspects Taako’s going to train him about a special magic or take him on an exciting adventure. What he doesn’t expect is Taako tugging him off to an utterly massive lake in the middle of Faerun with nothing but a boat, a compact box, and a couple of fishing poles.

Angus blinks when Taako steps up to the boat tied to a small dock. “Sir?” he asks, because he just has to. This kind of scenario is so strange, so different, that he can’t even tell if this is out of character for the wizard.

Taako, on his part, is already sitting in the boat, threading bait onto the hooks tied to the end of the fishing line attached to each pole. “Yeah, boychik?” he asks, glancing back at the boy. Taako looks nothing like your standard fisherman in his high wasted shorts that hug his ass and the almost shear blouse he’s wearing—Angus can see some sort of undergarment through the material, but he decides not to comment. His floppy wizard hat is absent and his long hair is tied up in bun and held in place by what Angus would swear is a magic wand. He’s wearing light shoes that look like they were made to take water and it’s honestly the most sensible part of the outfit, if the boy detective is allowed a say.

“…You fish?” are the only words that can come out of Angus’s mouth with any sort of coherency and the boy nearly slaps his own forehead in embarrassment.

“Sure! Cha’boy loves to get out on the water and cast himself a line. It’s chill as fuck, my dude.” Taako wraps up his prep work and waves Angus over to the boy. “C’mon, get in. I need your help to untie this bad boy.”

“Where do you need me, sir?” Angus is hesitant to approach the boat, but since Taako has no problems with it, it should probably be okay. Taako’s not the sort to put himself in any unnecessary danger.

“You take the front. I’ll get the back,” Taako says, holding out a hand to Angus when the boy gets closer. “Watch your step.”

Angus takes the proffered hand and steps into the boat. It doesn’t move the way he expects it to and doesn’t slip out from under him, tied firmly to the dock, but it still wobbles enough for him to stumble. He lets out a little gasp and hurriedly grasps Taako with his other hand.

“You’re good, Agnes, you’re good. I gotcha.” Taako helps Angus to the only passenger seat in the tiny boat. He takes his own seat behind the wheel—the “driver’s seat”—and grins at the boy. “So, as I’m sure you’ve deduced,” he begins, wiggling his fingers at Angus, smiling when the kid laughs, “I brought you here so we can cast some lines. And!” Taako waves a hand over the tech attached to the back of the boat and it jolts a little. Angus hadn’t even noticed it. “This isn’t technically a boat built for speed, buuuut, I just so happen to be fuckin’ baller at this magic shit, so that’s not really a problem for me.”

Angus tilts his head. “So what are you saying?”

Taako’s grin is the cat that caught the canary. He stands again and gestures for Angus to move to the front of the boat. “I’m sure your genius little boy brain and figure it out.” He moves to the rope tied to the cleat on the back of the boat. “I need you to stretch your arm out to the dock there, boychik, but be careful not to fall in. Can you reach it?”

Angus leans as far out of the boat as he feels comfortable with, but he can’t get close enough for his fingers to even graze the edge. “Sorry, sir!”

“No worries, homie. I’ll just hop out for a sec,” Taako says, practically leaping from the boat onto semi-solid land. It’s so flawless and graceful Angus is momentarily stunned. Has Taako always been able to do that? Taako moves to the front of the boat and wraps his hands around the rope keeping the front of the boat attached to the dock. “I’m gonna pull the nose around and I want you to just hold onto the dock for now, ‘kay?”

“Okay, sir!” Angus chirps, finally able to grab the wood. “Can I hold onto this ring here?” he asks, pointing to where the rope is looped through a metal ring bolted to the dock.

“Yeah, perfect! I’m gonna loosen the rope from the cleat here and once I untie the back, I’m gonna need you to shove away from the dock as hard as you can, got it?” Taako loosens the knot on the rope and pulls it out of the ring, tossing it back on the boat.

“Got it!” Angus flashes him a bright and cheery grin and Taako can’t help the small smile that slips onto his own face.

Taako carefully steps back onto the boat and unties the knot on the back cleat, pulling the rope free quickly so it won’t fall into the water. “Okay, Angles, push!”

As Angus shoves as hard as his little arms can, Taako stretches a hand out to the tech and mutters a few words, casting a modified Animate Objects on the mystery tech. The boat starts to move and Taako holds onto the wheel, spinning it to the right to get the boat moving out into open water. The boat’s moving slow enough for Angus to stumble back to his seat, which he does with a wary smile.

Taako laughs at him, and grins, directing the boat further and further across the surface of the lake. “Okay, so, yeah, I’m using magic to make this thing go, because let’s face it, home boy, we aren’t exactly proficient in the strength department, ya feel?” Angus just nods and Taako laughs again. “You’re lookin’ a little green there, pumpkin. Don’t sweat it, you’re not gonna fall out or anything.

“That said, uh, this boat’s p small and not exactly built for speed, so uh,” Taako grins and stifles some giggles. “Hold on tight, Ango!” Taako barely gives Angus a chance to process the words before he’s pushing his hand towards his makeshift motor and the boat goes ripping across the water, cutting cleanly through the lake’s glassy smooth surface.

The wind feels good on their faces, if a little cold, and Angus closes his eyes and lets himself enjoy it. They aren’t moving that fast, especially compared to how fast the Bureau’s canons can go, but Taako thinks that if they go any faster, they might have a hard time staying in the boat.

They ride around the lake for almost ten minutes before finally slowing to a halt in the middle of the water, completely surrounded by a shimmering, smooth surface. It’s a nice day for this, Angus thinks. Warm and decently sunny, but with enough cloud coverage to keep them cool.

Taako ends his Animate Objects spell and gives them a minute to settle into their new position on the lake. Angus glances over to see Taako’s face tilted towards the sky, eyes closed and face more relaxed than Angus can ever remember seeing him before. A particularly hard wind rocks the boat ever so slightly and he feels something hit his shoe.

The Umbra Staff is at his feet and Angus, for just is second, is confused. Was it here before? Angus can’t remember seeing it before, but was it because it wasn’t here before or was it just because he didn’t notice? And if he didn’t notice, why didn’t he?

Before Angus can open his mouth to say anything, Taako comes back to himself and glances down. “Oh! There you are!” he says, reaching down to pick the staff up. He unlatches the ribbon holding the umbrella closed and spreads it open, using it as a sun shield. Angus can’t help but stare at how tight Taako’s grip on the handle is. Is it always that tight?

Taako rises to his feet and steps to the back of the boat, digging the poles out from where he’d stowed them along the outside wall. “C’mere and take a pole. Lemme show you how to cast.”

Angus smiles and pushes the thoughts of the umbrella out of his mind. (Are any of these things connected to that time it blasted those letters on the wall? Just what was that about, anyway?) “Okay, sir!”

Taako spends the next several minutes demonstrating the best ways to cast a line out into the open water and how hook and reel the line in when it feels like there’s a fish eating at the bait. The Umbra Staff ends up being more of a nuisance than not, so Taako collapses it and lays it across his lap, one hand almost always touching it at any point in time.

Angus finally gets a handle on casting after about a dozen tries. Taako flashes him a grin that would prove hard to defend as anything but proud, and it fills the boy detective with warmth all the way down to his toes. Taako tosses out his own line and sits back, popping the staff open again and resting it over his shoulder, looking utterly content in a way Angus has never seen before.

After about twenty minutes of peaceful silence, Angus starts feelings sleepy. He tried to go to bed early last night so he could be awake today but he was too excited and ended up only getting a few hours in, something he’s paying for now. He yawns hugely, covering his mouth with one hand, the only still wrapped around the handle of his pole. He glances over at Taako, whose eyes are closed as he leans against the staff, and can’t help but ask, “Do you do this often?”

“Hmmm?” Taako hums, opening his eyes and looking over at Angus. He has complete heterochromia (his left eye is a mercurial silver and the other is bright green), Angus notes, and he’s almost embarrassed he’s never noticed until now, but then he remembers that Taako doesn’t often give him so much of his full attention. “Oh,” the elf says, seemingly just registering the question. “I used to do it more often, but I haven’t since joining the Bureau. It’s a useful skill.” Taako appears to be finished with speaking, but Angus feels like there’s more to the story.

“What kind of uses, sir?” Angus asks, tilting his head.

Taako gives him a suspicious glance before he smirks and quirks an eyebrow. “You’re the boy genius. I’m sure you can figure it out.”

“But I want you to tell me, sir!” Angus has to play this right and work into Taako’s pride or else he’ll never open up. Luckily it seems to work.

“That’s because I’m the expert, natch.” Taako shakes his pole a little and jerks it once or twice before settling back down. “So like. First of all, people eat fish, duh. If you got a pole, or something likeit, and you’re camped out beside a river or a lake, then that’s free food.” Taako smiles like he just revealed a huge secret. “Sure you also gotta know how to descale ‘em and cook ‘em but that’s no prob. Fish are good for ya.”

“Have you had to do that a lot?” Angus has no idea if he’s pushing his luck with the question, but he’s knee deep in investigation mode and he’s going to take this path as far as Taako will let him.

“All the time, ‘specially growing up.” Taako pauses and tucks a loose hair behind one of his long ears. It twitches just enough to make the chain on the cuff earring jingle. He goes quiet long enough to make Angus think that he’s done—for real this time—but he continues, much to Angus’s surprise.

“I grow up on the road, hopping from caravan to caravan when I could. Camped out when I couldn’t.” Taako shrugs and gives the Umbra Staff a lazy spin. “Was hard, tryin’a get by with nothin’, but we couldn’t go to a home because they were try to separate us—” Taako freezes and his grip on the umbrella goes white knuckled.

Angus watches this happen in rapt fascination. From one second to the next, goes from loose and content to rigid and anxious. Taako’s eyes are blown wide and unfocused, his shoulders are stiff, his breathing is shallow, and he’s clenching the pole and staff so hard Angus is sure they’ll both break. To Angus’s untrained eye, Taako seems to be in the midst of a full-blown anxiety attack, and it’s scary to the eleven-year-old.

“S-sir?” Angus squeaks out, jumping to his feet, hands hovering over his mentor, unsure whether he should touch him or not.

Taako’s pole clatters to the bottom of the boat as his hand flies up to his ear, finely manicured nails digging into the soft flesh. Angus reaches up to move the hand away—he’s very much not an expert on elven anatomy, being a little human boy, but he knows enough to know that elf ears are incredibly sensitive, and that clawing at them must be excruciating—but before he can, Taako lets go and gasps in a deep breath that quickly turns into coughing and gagging.

“Taako, sir, are you alright?” Angus knows he’s being pretty useless right now, but he just wants to help. What had even set Taako off? Something about being separated from someone? Another orphan, perhaps? (And the thought of Taako being an orphaned kid living off the streets is so contradictory to the Taako he knows now that Angus almost wants to dismiss it as an elaborate goof—but why would he joke about something like this? And if it was a joke, even Taako would have stopped it before it got to the point of an actual, literal anxiety attack. It had to be real, which just made it feel even more unreal.)

It takes a minute, but Taako finally manages to somewhat control his breathing. He wraps his free hand around the long handle of the staff and leans into it eyes closed and chest heaving. “Sorry about that, boychik,” he says, voice soft and faint. “No idea what happened there, but, hey, shit happens.”

“You don’t have to apologize, sir,” Angus tells him moving to sit beside Taako. “That didn’t look like a goof.”

“Almost wish it was. ‘S not very fun if it’s real,” Taako says, and Angus feels like there’s a deeper meaning that escapes him.

“Who were you afraid to be separated from?” Angus’s voice is so quiet, Taako might not have been able to hear it if not for his elven hearing. One of his ears twitches in the boy’s direction and Angus’s eyes flit over to it at the movement.

“I dunno,” Taako says, taking a deep breath, “but It feels like I’m forgetting something.”

“Do you wanna go back to the base?”

Taako takes and deep breath, holds it, and lets it out slowly. “Not yet. Let’s just… relax. For a bit.”

“Okay.”

Angus falls asleep ten minutes later. If he ends up slumped against Taako, and Taako wraps an arm around the boy’s shoulders? Well.

That’s between him and the Umbra Staff.