#gotta show off a bit of the build i've spent so much time on. and gotta introduce raph's parents :^)

[edmunderson]

finally giving this a try for editing :)

time for a small awful holiday arc >:)

[oodlyenough]

aa6-5 turnabout revolution

finished 6-5 over the last couple weeks, which means we've only got the DLC left for soj and the main series of games.

i gotta say ... i liked this finale a lot more than i expected to. i thought it was fun, and in turn that elevated SOJ overall. by far not the best ace attorney game i've played, but definitely not the worst. from the way fandom talks about this game and especially the finale i expected something awful, but i thought it had some fun ideas with mid execution, which is how i would describe ... basically every AA game after the og trilogy lol

anyway. more specifically (spoilers)

the first half of the case -- apollo vs phoenix -- is way up there on the "great idea, mid execution". i was immediately willing to assume phoenix had undisclosed reasons for doing his thing so i was immediately willing to let it slide, lol. "maya is kidnapped again!!!" is not the most compelling angle they could've done, but, whatever. also NPC nick seemed to have a brain in his head unlike player-nick, so that was nice

i also got a huge kick out of phoenix playing (essentially) the role of the prosecution and doing every dirty trick the prosecutors have done to him for 6 games: hiding evidence, leading the witness, manipulating the judge, etc. this prosecuting shit is easy!!! i imagine him making pointed eye contact with edgeworth in the gallery every time. also the idea of edgeworth and phoenix creeping around off screen for the first portion of investigation day 1 was awesome lmfao.

the fey lore was ???????????????? but i guess we can assume paul was lying about most of it lmfao so ... i guess. i WAS very annoyed by the kurain storyline mostly being about dudes and i did spend the whole case certain we were building to a reveal that the crystal of ami fey=the founder's orb bc ami=the founder. but uh. no i guess not. whatever

dhurke is a character i knew to be relatively popular in fandom but i can see why, he really cracked me up. actually his whole return out of the blue and apollo's extremely prickly reception are one of the relatively rare moments of interesting and competent character writing in these later games imo. i thought their relationship was handled pretty well and quite interesting. i mean, i suppose i find it a bit unreasonable that apollo got over 14 years of abandonment in like two days but lots of things in AA happen in hyperspeed

over in khurain i still found that case pretty good and even the trial days kept me pretty engaged, something SOJ had struggled to do to that point.

nahyuta is a bit of a weird one in that i find him overall underwritten and a little dull but i absolutely cannot fathom why fandom hates him so so so much while loving others lol, esp blackquill whose motivation is the same but more inexplicable. is he my favourite prosecutor? not by a long shot, but his circumstances were insane and his motivations were clear by the end and i ultimately just felt kind of bad for him. i liked him much more than blackquill or godot lmao sorry fandom.

but i still cheered when he was not the prosecutor for the last case LMAO bc i LOVED garan and her crazy anime transformation lmao, finally khurain delivers the True Fey ancestor experience: insane sisters who hate each other. chefs kiss. rayfa + garan + the dhurke/amara drama was very interesting imo. i knew that chick couldn't channell!! maya for queen tbqh

rayfa's a good character and i enjoyed her a lot. i was frustrated in the end that they tried to make it seem like her big development/inspiration/etc was apollo ... like ... it should definitely be phoenix, who spent more time with her and investigated with her and started trying to show her other ways of thinking etc. plus she just lost her parents and is clearly searching for guidance and it makes way more sense for her to find that in phoenix than apollo who showed up 2 days ago. i guess they're trying to 1. use the player character 2. push the dhurke connection, but it was stupid when shes obviously more attached to phoenix and/or nahyuta lol

jove "jangly" justice is the funniest name i've read maybe ever and i assume apollo's middle name is jangly. it's so funny how they build to doing his divination seance only to spend almost no time on him fhgkghhklg

anyway in conclusion i liked 6-5 a lot more than i expected. i thought it was pretty fun. i don't really get why fandom is so negative to this game, like even way moreso than DD, when this game is better by any possible margin from gameplay to animation to story coherency imo.

stray other thoughts:

-apollo's backstories are such a meme but i thought his backstory in this game made sense enough with aa4 (where he had no motive/little backstory at all and wasn't much of a player in his own story), and the characters implicated were real characters we got to spend time with and interact with. unlike clay.png

-edgeworth is there for No Reason At All (fanservice) and i find that deeply hilarious. he's nick's +1 and he had to sleep on the floor with a bunch of strangers and crawl through the sewer. hysterical.

-for maya fey's big return game i sure thought maya was going to get to do stuff besides what she always does in a finale, be absent for plot reasons. sigh. oh well at least i got a laugh imagining her and edgeworth spending the rest of the trial arguing about the plumed punisher while nick and apollo are held at gunpoint

-athena cykes sweetie i'm so sorry your role in this game was a fucking embarrassment. so insulting that they turned it all into impressing simon and shit, fuck off man!!! my earlier criticism of this game being sexist even by AA standards remains. even phoenix is like well i can't have you risking your life you're too young (reasonable) and then "simon would kill me" which she acquiesces to???? hfjhgkjg

-nahyuta bamboozling apollo's perceive power by being like "thats the secret... i'm always anxious" was so goddamn funny

[rabbiteclair]

okay let's try this again, this time with my brain plugged in

overall, story-wise I admire the devs' efficiency of storytelling in introducing new groups of characters, giving you a peek at the relationship dynamics between them and what makes them interesting, and then immediately proceeding to 'and now it's time for you to kill them, because you are running an RPG dungeon for hapless adventurers to dive into.' Several groups here feel like they could be the protagonists of a shorter game in their own right. sorry I killed you guys but you know how it is.

Mechanically... not gonna get too deep into the game's overall systems at this point, but I think they did a pretty solid job of making each new story encounter an interesting challenge with something new to deal with. Once I sorted out the whole 'you don't have enough good key pages to outfit the entire library, you've gotta shuffle them around a lot or you're playing on hard mode' thing, nothing has felt ridiculously hard when I first unlocked it, but very few fights have felt all that easy either. (The 'nothing has felt ridiculously hard' part may change soon though, because somebody thought it was a good idea to fight the Red Mist again. goddamn it Angela, I just did that last game. At least dig up the Backward Clock for me to fall back on if you're gonna pull this shit.)

I'm not gonna go into every single reception, but hitting some of the highlights...

Streetlight: Probably the first group I felt really bad about murdering? Sorry Lulu. (Okay these early ones are gonna be kind of short, lbr they have a lot less going on than later stuff.)

Zwei: Whoops felt bad again. This time it was ameliorated by getting Walter's key page and going 'wait you're gonna just... let me do that? Is this actually okay?'

Carnival: is the point that made me stop and go 'oh man these devs know how to do some weird transhumanism stuff,' and that basically doesn't let up for the rest of the game. On the other hand this is also the point where I kinda sighed and started finding all the endless industrial uses for dead humans a bit on-the-nose.

Dawn: well I can see no way that killing these guys could go poorly, not like one of them will have a days/weeks-long breakdown and turn into a swarm of flaming cherubs that kill tens of thousands of people or something haha. Yuna deserved more/cooler mechanics. Solo Fixer who carries her gear around in a guitar case or something and shows up like 'hey I just beat up some crazy stuff by myself.' make Yuna cooler you cowards.

Gaze: Gaze Office is cool as hell. I love them. Love their fucking C memory management joke names. (Which are apparently also Korean puns or something.) Love their weird rainbow camera heads. Too bad that they're kinda mechanically trash. They were one of the easiest fights for me, and I've never found much use for... anything they do, really.

Kurokumo: thus begins the era of Slashing Builds. this era has not yet actually ended for me.

Bremen: I actually felt a bit bad for these guys too. I mean sure they're murderers but they seem so earnest about it, and they did get their heads messed with by supernatural forces. But also why didn't you losers give me blunt power abilities. You should really take after Sayo more. I'm sure she's a fine role model.

Love Town: [banging pots and pans together] LOVE TOWN LOVE TOWN LOVE TOWN. listen the entire story here is so absurdly horrible and over the top that it's almost funny, but I feel like if you're gonna get invested in these games you've gotta be capable of looking at 'so they all spent millennia locked in a train and unable to die until the few who still retained some of their sanity sewed their bodies together into Flesh Amalgam Creatures to fight off their zombified comrades' and pumping your fist instead of pointing out that that all seems like a bit much. Tomerry was an interesting fight but at the same time, never wanna do that again. Some of my well-meaning friends warned me to gird my stomach for this section, unaware of just how much body horror media I've consumed over the years.

Sweepers: On one hand? I kinda came out of this liking the Sweepers themselves, despite everything. Aw, they're just a big happy family, makin' their way in the world. just, Their Way just happens to involve a lot of meathooks and, uh, liquefying people to make special goo or something? On the other hand fuck this fight. Even now that I've beaten it several times, I still hate it. This begins the pattern of 'nothing that is happening here, mechanically, is moral or just.'

Shi: okay look I don't have much to say about Shi itself. this is a basically-unrelated sidebar. You know how Yujin's key page gives you that broken speed die? I am cursed so that every single big attack targets it, and always with a really high speed so I can't intercept. A boss has some once-per-fight attack that's like '8-21 damage, on hit: stagger the target, apply 5 Fragile next round'? it's gonna target Yujin's broken die, with a speed of like 6-7, every single time. My friends assure me that this isn't intentional and I'm just very unlucky, but I'm this close to retiring the page and ripping the good parts off to use elsewhere. I've seriously lost four or five big fights over Yujin suddenly getting ripped in half three rounds in, or getting smacked with a 'if this hits anybody you automatically lose the fight' attack, with no ability to defend.

8 o'clock Circus: fuck this fight. Oswald isn't in it, but I appreciate his whole deal though. Like, he's not a good guy. I'm not even sure I like him. But it takes some skill to be an interesting fucked up clown in 2023, and he manages it.

Smiling Faces: I love how even after you read their books, there's no real explanation of what their deal is. at this point the game's just like 'look, they're weird old folks who chop people up or something and like to take fat bong rips, you can probably name a dozen explanations for all of this at this point.' The fight itself is an absolute pain thanks to Deep Drag, but your reward is... being able to hit enemies with Deep Drag. I don't like smoke builds as much as most people, it seems, but I'll concede that when they do work they're great. And, I mean, I still put a smoker on most teams up until fairly recently.

Crying Children: sometimes a fight is just too fucking long. I'm sorry Phil "the big sad baby" McFixer, but if you want me to get invested in your personal character arc you've gotta limit your boss fight to like five phases tops. (Angela is exempt from this of course.)

WARP Crew: see the Love Town bullet above, but also I felt pretty bad about killing these guys too. Sorry Lesti. Also I find it very funny that part of the reason behind the VIP seats is to make sure that anybody with really expensive combat augs is not waiting for them inside the train after spending about two millennia losing their goddamn mind.

Blue Reverb/Church of Gears: I really expected this fight to be harder but let's be real I haven't seen the last of this asshole.

Cane: I'm just here for Nemo, babey.

R Corp: hhhhh. For one thing, this fight is a fucking slog, and it opens up with possibly the hardest act of its three. For another, you're gonna make me kill Myo? Really? On the upside: Rabbit-based titles for everyone. I haven't beaten this reception yet since I only tried it once so far and went in unprepared for some of the tomfoolery, but I still got within about two hits of winning, so I'm confident I'll get it next time.

Night Awls/Udjat/Kim/Dong-hwan: yesssss give me your stuff. I could've gone without having to fight the Udjat though.

[sepyana]

Jjba Stardust Crusaders Ep. 40-44 Thoughts

I've waited a bit to write this. Mostly because I was tired, but also because I wanted to think about it more.

D'Arby Part (Ep. 40-43)

This episode is considerably lighter in tone compared to the Vanilla Ice episodes, cuz we gotta torture Polnareff as much as possible.

I like the paralells between the D'Arby's. Older one is unmatched in cheating, Joseph tries to cheat and gets his soul taken to show there is no way we are winning that way. Jotaro wins by bluffing instead. Younger one is unmatched in skill, Kakyoin tries to win against him fair and square and gets his soul taken away. Jotaro wins cheating instead.

This episode does a lot to build Kakyoin's character. Interesting that the way DIO tempts him is by saying "Let's be friends." I am guessing Kakyoin had a lonely childhood. Maybe he spent all that time palying games. It's not like I was a friendless kid who spent all her time playing Tetris, Pokemon and MOBAs.

I didn't saw this scene in the manga though. It's probably an anime only thing. I like it as an addition, though, I doubt some really shady man saying let's be friends would calm anyone's nerves down. It doesn't make much sense to me.

Also the Kakyoin doll is horrifying.

Joseph saying "No more Mr Nice Guy" got me. Couldn't think of a more white phrase if I tried.

Why,, why do the baseball players have an entire bakery down there.

Jotaro part dragged on a little bit for me personally. It was funny though. Like how Joseph gets angry at Jotaro for playing like shit and Jotaro is saying 'Shouldn't you be cheering for me?'. Later Jotaro is hiding behind his hat. And even later there are the soul reading scenes.

It's so funny seeing D'Arby lose his shit over Jotaro cheating like a TRUE GAMER. I can't believe DIO has a GAMER guard his hideout. D'Arby in general is pretty funny like why does he look like that. Why is his stand like that. What a fucking loser.

Episodes are good but not outstanding.

Vanilla Ice (Ep. 43-45)

The last few episodes were funny, this one is just horrifying.

I will maybe come back to this on a latee post. I wanna think more about these episodes.

Firstly, I actually know Vanilla Ice's namesake. Naming your character after one person instead of a badn or a song name is... bold.

Funny that Dio only remembers Kakyoin at first. He might be pretending to not know the Crusaders that well just to show his superiority or whatever. Motherfucker is reading while Polnareff and Iggy are out there fighting for their lives. I hope Dio dies a million deaths and gets run over.

I kind of hate Advol's death. He doesn't get a send off at all. It just sorta happens before the fight. We don't get to hear his thoughts, we don't get a chance to grieve. It feels weird to me that Iggy's death resonated with me way more, I like Advol so much more too. I get the feeling that he was killed just for the sake of it. His character arc doesn't really need this. I dunno. It felt like a waste. I was angry when he died, not really sad.

I think this part if the opening is suppose to reference this scene. I wonder if this is true for the other shots.

The fight scenes are pretty good. One thing I don't get is how getting some of his foot eaten completely incapacitates him. That would make sense irl but like. He has literary been through worse. This show doesn't really handle injuries all that well.

Silver chariot was animated beautifully.

I actually felt sad over Iggy's death. Since stands represent souls, the fool manifested on its own to save Polnareff. Despite Iggy knowing he would die if he did that.

You'd think Polnareff's arc of being saved would lead him to save someone else instead. But the show almost makes fun of you for thinking that. I kind of like that, actually.

I thought Suzie meeting Holly was a nice scene but it dragged for too long.

The end part really confused me. The tonal whiplash from Iggy dying to this just doesn't sit right me. There are other comedic bits too and none of them land for me. I think they are theree to lighten the mood but like. People are dying, y'know. I wouldn't mind this as much if the jokes were funny but I couldn't really find them funny.

Yeah, that's it. I couldn't think of what I wanted to write, but I though it would be better to write this before watching the finale. I should let them marinate in my head a bit more.

Now, we are at the beginning of the end. With only 4 episodes left. I will watch them after posting this and report to you later. It's currently 5.30

[critical-thinking-is-mandatory]

"You know, that Adrien from Chat Blanc was totally a d*ck. Glad I'm not him and am completely perfect. Oh, when did I change? Just now." (Season 5 Adrien)

LITERALLY. like it is one thing to have a character change suddenly and drastically, perhaps even by surprise, but it's another thing entirely for that character to state how much they've changed because of personal reflection...and that personal reflection just...doesn't exist.

like i haven't actually watched season 5 (not subjecting myself to that lol) but going off of every other "brilliant" writing move the creators have pulled in the past, i'm certain they've pulled this "pivotal character moment" out of their asses. in fact, i am willing to bet my brand new pet baby chickens on it. Not once in the 4 seasons prior has Adrien shown a shred of guilt, regret or remorse for the way he mistreats people, especially Maribug.

now, i'm not saying characters can't change from bullies/harassers/Nice Guys (TM) to legitimately good people, it's been done plenty. but this kind of thing doesn't just happen. there's gotta be some kind of...prompt, a build up. something that sets the change in motion.

it can be over the long-haul, such as with Zuko in the Last Airbender. His change had been set in motion when he was branded a traitor, a whole season and a half before he made his final decision.

or it can be much shorter, less serious, such as with Jaune, in RWBY. Actually, Jaune is a pretty handy case because his issues were quite similar to Adrien's.

Jaune was also harassing a girl he liked. and, while it could have been handled better, he did stop and at least attempt to make amends. in a way. my memory of the scenario is a bit fuzzy after all this time, but i'm pretty sure he realised the girl he liked was interested in a different guy, and after a small kerfuffle between said girl and her fella, Jaune more or less shook some sense into the guy and moved on.

obviously, the whole thing could've been done a bit better, but for what it's worth, it's an effective character moment.

From what I've gathered? Adrien didn't really have a moment. he's just like: "damn, that was crazy. Anyway." it's so soo frustrating because they literally had all the material they needed!

Adrien has spent the whole show being fawned over and pawed at by the likes of Chloe and Lila. Adrien has also spent most of the show pawing at and fawning over Ladybug. This right here! That is all you needed! Just one single moment of "hang on, I don't like it when Chloe does this to me. Maybe Ladybug doesn't like it either". Just ONCE! One single tiny itty bitty thought comparing his feelings to Maribug's. That is all we needed!

Just a teensy weensy bit of introspection and compassion. But no! That's too hard for a team of professional writers to manage *rolls eyes so hard i fall over* I am honestly blown away by how pathetic this whole situation is.

[johnkrrasinski]

started from a call

full masterlist

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x female!reader

Word count: 3,610

Warning: angst with a happy ending! that's all.

Summary: written for @wkemeup's 9k writing challenge with the prompt "character a leaves an embarrassing, drunk message on character b’s voicemail and spends the rest of the night trying to discreetly delete it from [b]’s phone." inspired by a bit of ross and rachel from friends too. you found out from steve that bucky was in love with you in high school but after he returns home with a girl in his arm, you cancelled your plans to tell him how you feel. will you and bucky have your happy ending?

a/n: please like, reblog and leave a feedback. :) enjoy!

"Alright, I'll see you tonight. Bye." He leaned against the kitchen counter and hung up the phone with a grin on his face. "You hear that, Sam? We're going on our third date tonight." He threw his phone up into the air and caught it so casually without spilling a drop of his coffee sitting on his right hand. "Looks like I'm getting that 300 bucks soon."

"Hey, easy. You ain't going to that date yet, who knows? She could bail on you. It doesn't count if the date doesn't end well."

"Oh, but it will. I just gotta turn on my charm and next thing you know, we're already meeting the parents stage."

"Meeting the parents? That's a big step from you, Buck."

"Hey, I'm a man of my words. If I said that I'm going to change this year then I'm gonna stick to it."

"So Leah isn't just a one-time thing to get 300 bucks?"

"Maybe yes, maybe no. We'll see how tonight goes. But one thing's for sure is that I'm getting that 300 bucks."

Sam and Bucky made a bet as their New Year's resolution that Bucky would never go on a second date with any girl or remember to call her in the morning after a wild night. His commitment issues had given him a reputation as the player in the gang. It wasn't a new thing anymore to anyone that when they visited Bucky's place in the morning, they would see a girl with a dopey smile and slightly ruffled hair walking out of his apartment, giddy that Bucky just made a promise to call her later.

You, Natasha, Wanda, Sam and Steve were hanging out at Nat's place. The six of you had been friends since college. You, Nat, Bucky and Steve had known each other since high school and the four of you kept in touch despite going to separate universities. You met Wanda when you went to NYU and Steve met Sam while he was in Harvard. Long story short, after the four of you graduated, you and Wanda lived together as roommates and even started your own bakery business. Steve and Bucky lived in the same building as you and Natasha and Sam lived nearly alone. They were too independent for roommates. Don't even start on Natasha and how much she valued her personal space. That's how the six of you ended up here, gathered at your place on a Saturday afternoon.

"Are you gonna pick her up tonight?"

"Of course. Gonna clean up well, bring her some flowers and knock on her door at 7 pm precisely. Which girl isn't gonna fall for that?" Bucky walked over to the couch you and Nat were sitting on and leaned on the headrest, his arms caging both you and Natasha.

You didn't say anything nor did Natasha because she knew about your feelings for Bucky. Despite never feeling that way about Bucky in high school, your feelings changed a week ago after learning that Bucky used to be in love with you but never had the courage to tell you. That's why he never had a girlfriend during his high school years and he wanted to take you to prom and confess his feelings to you but he was too late. Another guy had already snooped in first.

You were his first love but it wasn't reciprocated until now. That's why in college, he learned how to get over you and slept with as many women as possible because he felt like he lost four years of his life of finding the one. He never intended to be a player and feed girls empty promises, it just kind of became his way of dating. He was too afraid that no one could live up to you yet he enjoyed being with women. Hence, the bet.

The day you found out from Steve about Bucky's past feelings for you while playing truth or dare, you immediately wanted to call him up but Bucky was out of town for a few days and as soon as he was back home, he had Leah in his arm. Your heart was crushed. Wanda told you that it would probably last for a few days and that he'd eventually be single again but you totally did not expect this thing to turn into something serious. You loved Sam with every fibre of your being, he was like the big brother you never had, but you wanted to curse him for making that bet.

So you just rolled your eyes and stayed silent throughout this entire conversation, even though your heart felt like it was being stabbed over and over again. "Alright, I gotta go. Got a big date tonight. I'll see you guys in a few hours." Just like that, Bucky walked out of the room without knowing the pain his words caused you.

The next day you were sitting in your bed watching The Notebook in your pyjamas because you were too heartbroken to do anything productive. It was Sunday so you could just have a whole day to yourself and do absolutely nothing but cry. Wanda knocked on your door bringing a plate of cookies and she had a pitiful look on her face. "y/n? Sweetie? I made you these cookies, they might make you feel better." Sometimes you thank the stars for bringing her into your life.

"Thank you, Wanda. You're so nice to me." You know you probably sound like a hormonal whiny kid but everything made you cry at the moment.

"Do you need anything else? I know how it feels to get your heartbroken, trust me. When me and Vision had a fight and we didn't talk for days all I wanted was to curl up and never leave my bed, so in case you need anything, I'm here." She offered you that warm smile of hers.

"No, all I want right now is to just eat these cookies and go back to my film, thanks Wan."

"Okay, I'll be outside." Your pity party was interrupted when Nat arrived in her leather jacket and burst into your room.

"Get up, you are taking a shower and you're getting that face beat."

"Natasha, what the hell? Leave me alone."

"Y/N, listen to me. I got a date for you. His name is Scott and he's a real nice guy, he's funny, he's a good friend of mine and he is really smart. He is so much better than Bucky, I promise you. Now c'mon, I already told him that you are meeting him tonight at Stark's restaurant at 7."

You whined, doing anything you can to get her to leave you alone with your tears and your cookies but you knew that once Natasha set her mind on something, there's no talking her way out of it. Damn that woman with her determination.

"Y/N, c'mon! Wallowing all day isn't you. I know you and what's good for you. That's why I found you a great guy who will charm you so good that you will forget Barnes even existed. You can't let him win, y/n. If he's going to be happy with someone else, then you better show him that you can be much happier with other people."

You stared at her, trying to absorb her words. There's some wisdom in that. You're not the type to cry over a guy, not even for even Bucky Barnes. So you let Natasha drag you to the shower and asked Wanda to do your hair when she does your makeup. She chose an outfit for you, a dress that was not too sexy but chic enough to leave a good first impression.

Scott was early to the restaurant and he looked elated to see you. He was wearing a grey suit with no tie and he had a really exuberant smile on his face, the type that drew people easily. You could see why Natasha called him a nice guy.

"Wow, sorry, I just- didn't expect you to be this beautiful."

"Ah, thank you, Scott. Have you been waiting long?"

"No, not at all. I just arrived here like five minutes ago."

The night went on and Scott did most of the asking and talking, you answered each question curtly with forced enthusiasm in your face and body language. You weren't even listening to half of the things he said because your mind kept playing images of Bucky with Leah and how you heard from Sam that the date went well so he lost 300 bucks. You kept thinking about Bucky and Leah and how they would probably get married and have kids and live in the suburbs with a golden retriever while you'd still be single and you'd compare every man you meet to Bucky. Maybe it was your karma for not reciprocating his feelings in high school.

Five glasses of wine and you spent more time nodding than talking. Honestly, all you wanted to do was to just go home and go back to The Notebook because their love story was much better than your love life. Scott woke you out of your daze, "Natasha told you that I was cuter than this, did she?" after you gulped your sixth glass of wine.

"Oh Scott, I'm so sorry. It's not you, it's me. I know it sounds cliche but it's just... I'm not in a place where I'm looking for a boyfriend. You are a really likeable guy and I swear, if we had met at another time, maybe I would be a better date but right now, I just- I have someone else in my mind." You sighed, it felt like a relief to get that off your chest.

"Is this guy... an ex-boyfriend?"

You chuckled, "no... He wishes."

Scott nodded, "look, I don't know what your situation is but I've been through a divorce and it's never easy. But eventually, you'll be fine. You can't see it now because you haven't had closure." Then it was as if the bulb above your head was turned on.

"That's it.  Closure, yeah. That's all I need. Okay, give me a minute. I'm gonna call him now and I'm going to get my closure."

Scott sat there watching you comically trying to find your phone in your purse and tapped on Bucky's contact number. The normal you would be sweating with every ring but intoxicated you had no worries in the world... For now.

"This is Bucky. Can't pick up right now, leave a message." Beep.

"Hello, yes, Bucky! Or James, should I call you James? I always thought Bucky was a weird name. Anyways, I'm just calling to tell you that I am fine and I am on a date with Scott. And speaking of dates, I just gotta tell you that I'm happy to hear that your date went well. And that, my friend, means that I am over you. That's right, I'm over you. Tell Leah I say hi." You said sarcastically.

You hung up the phone and threw your phone back into your purse. You felt like you just won a chess game.

The next morning you decided to sleep in because your heart was pounding and you could barely sit up without feeling like you might fall. You were supposed to be working at the bakery but since you owned the bakery, Wanda let you sleep it off until you recover. You couldn't remember anything from last night, how you got back to your apartment was a mystery. You tried to put the pictures together, from being forced to go on a date, meeting a guy named Sean? Simon? Sebastian? Scott! Yes, Scott. You ordered your meals and then... Nothing, it was all blurry. You weren't even sure if anything happened at all after eating your meals.

The apartment was empty because Wanda was working at the bakery and it was just you with your hangover pills. Bucky came to your apartment without knocking because Wanda told him on the phone that you were home. He greeted you with a smile and asked about your date.

"Uh, let's see. I think there was a restaurant, I know there was wine. And there's a guy, Scott and pretty much that's all I can recall."

Bucky made a yikes face. Seeing the state you were in, he could do the math (of the wine you had). You probably enjoyed the alcohol more than the guy. What a doofus, he thought. If he was the one going on a date with you, you'd definitely remember every detail from last night.

"Leah's downstairs and I'm taking her back to her place but I left my keys here last night. Have you seen it?"

"No, check the drawers. Maybe Wanda put 'em there."

"Ah, okay." He opened the drawers and found the keys to his bike.

"Did we... Speak on the phone last night?"

"Nope, my phone was dead and I didn't charge it all night so I haven't really checked it. Why?"

"Nothing, nothing. It's just... Never mind. My memories are a bit hazy right now. You should go, say hi to Leah for me."

Bucky nodded as you walked back to your room to go lie down. Your question reminded him that he should probably check his phone now because there could be work-related messages but the first thing he heard was a voicemail from you. "Oh, y/n. I got your message!"

That instantly stopped you in your tracks. Your eyes went wide and you froze. You immediately turned around and ran to grab his phone away from him. Bucky had a confused look on his face, "who's Scott?"

"Oh my God, no, Bucky, give me the phone. Give me the phone!" But it was already too late, he was already halfway through your voicemail and by the time you successfully snatched his phone out of his grasp, he had already heard every word.

Bucky stood there dumbfounded, he needed time to process everything you just said to him. "What do you- what do you mean you're over me?"

"Oh, God... Alright, um- lately, I've um- sort of, have... Feelings for you." You never had to chase a guy or confess your crush first so this felt new and my God, it was nerve-racking.

"You have feelings for me..." He said it as if he was convincing himself that his ears got it right. Bucky couldn't believe the words that just escaped through your lips, for years he had dreamed of this moment. Though never did he ever want you to make the first move but adolescent him wanted to hear you say what he'd been wanting to say to you too.

He didn't say anything for what felt like minutes and you couldn't decipher his thoughts from the look on his face. "I need to sit down," he pulled one of the dining chairs and leaned on his side in a defeated posture.

"Bucky... Please say something." You alerted him in a hushed tone, not wanting to startle him than you already did. But he didn't. He was lost at words. What the hell was he supposed to tell her?

"Look Bucky, I'm sorry for telling you this way but I had to. I just- I've been wanting to talk to you about it since you came back to New York, well- actually, since Steve told me but-"

"Whoa, Steve told you?!" He interrupted.

"Yeah, it just accidentally slipped when we were playing truth or dare..."

"Okay well," he stood up from his seat, yet he still couldn't look you in the eye. "I can't do this right now, Leah's waiting for me downstairs and I gotta go." He basically ran out of the room and slammed the door behind him, leaving you alone.

Once your hangover had begun dissipating, you decided to help Wanda at the bakery and took the night shift. She must've been exhausted from managing the bakery alone while also helping the employees in the kitchen so you told her to go home and leave it to you. The bakery's usually slower at night.

When it was nearing closing time and your employees had gone home, you decided to clean up and turned off the lights and checked everything one last time before locking the door. The bell above the door dinged and you were slightly annoyed because who the hell comes to the bakery at this hour?

"I'm sorry we're clo...sed." It was Bucky. He stood there in a black coat, with an expression you still couldn't figure out. "Bucky, what are you-"

"You have no right to tell me that you've got feelings for me." His tone was harsh, he never spoke that way to you or anyone... Ever.

"What?"

He walked closer to you, maintaining his gaze, "You can not tell me that you've got feelings for me now when I'm doing well with my life and Leah..."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I was in love with you for years! Years, y/n! And you never said and did anything and now when everything's going well you're ruining it!"

"I am ruining it?" You repeated the question because you couldn't believe what you just heard. How dare he said those hurtful things to you.

"Yes! I was doing fine with Leah and now I don't know what's going to happen with me and her anymore..."

"Yeah, well, I was doing fine before I found out that YOU were in love with me and never had the balls to tell me!" You did everything you could to not cry, you hated crying in the middle of an argument.

"Hey, it's not like I didn't try. There were your ex-boyfriends and your dates and I had to move on. I couldn't wait forever! And now, now you're too late."

"Oh, so what? You're just gonna walk away and pretend that this never happened?"

"Yes, I'm going to do exactly that and I'm going to go see Leah." He turned around like he did earlier in your apartment and left you alone once again with your heartbreak.

"Fine! Go ahead and see Leah because I don't give a fuck about cowards like you or whoever you sleep with." You slammed the door and tried everything you could to not have a breakdown here because you really hated letting an argument hurt you. You sat on one of the chairs where the customers would sit and you hid your face with your hands and cried.

Not because you just lost an argument but because of what Bucky said and it felt like you had lost Bucky before you even had him. Now there was no hope left for you and Bucky, things were too complicated.

You didn't know how long you had cried there, alone, in the dimmed lighting of your shop but after you felt like the tears had dried, you wiped the traces of your tears from your cheeks with the back of your thumb. You stood from your seat and was ready to go home. You couldn't wait to eat some leftover pizzas, take a warm shower and cry into your pillows until you fall asleep.

But when you were about to leave, you saw Bucky standing on the other side of the door, watching you through the windows with a softer expression on his face. You opened the door and Bucky instantly grabbed your waist and kissed you as if his life depended on it.

You gave in to his kiss, letting him pour every desire and yearning into your lips for as long as he wanted. You grabbed his face because you wanted him impossibly closer and you shut your eyes, letting your guard down. Because it was Bucky, and you'd known him for as long as you could remember and you both deserved this moment.

Bucky eventually pulled away until both of you were running out of air. You were breathless from his kiss, you never knew he was such a good kisser. (It's Bucky and he's had a lot of women on his bed, of course, he was excellent at it. Who were you kidding?) But now that you've had your own front-row experience, you felt a tad of possessiveness at the thought of sharing those lips or any part of him with anyone else.

"I couldn't go back to her knowing you are here alone and I had thrown away what I've wanted for as long as I could remember."

"I'm glad you came back." You pressed your foreheads and you rested your hands on his chest. You could get used to this.

"I hope it's not too late to say this but, y/n y/l/n, will you let me take you to dinner and see a movie after maybe?"

"I wasn't the one who said it's too late," you halfheartedly teased him.

"Shut up, so is that a yes or a no?"

You bit your lip and nodded, "yes. Definitely a yes." You stared into his ocean blue eyes, so deep and beautiful, you could easily get lost in it.

"y/n y/ln, I'm going to put all of your ex-boyfriends to shame."

"Hm, we'll see about that." You put your arms around his neck. Then a thought crossed your mind and your smile faded away, "what are you gonna do about Leah though?"

"I'll talk to her in the morning. Let's take you home now, yeah? It's getting late."

You bit your lip and nodded, "okay."

Ninth grade you dreamed of popular jocks and athletic seniors, but little did you know that, sometimes, the one who sincerely loved you was the book nerd who loved The Hobbit a little too much.

[cinnamonest]

Daily Life - Yandere Childe, Zhongli, Xiao

A continuation of the earlier post about Kaeya and Diluc

Content Warnings: n/s/f//w mentions/themes/stuff (but not like, explicit detail), fem reader, normal yandere stuff

==================

Childe's a busy guy. He wakes you up every morning, usually pretty sweetly. He'll nuzzle up against your face, mumbling a "good morning" into your ear. He's sweet, but, you gotta get up when he tells you to. And you have to be the one to make food, he likes watching you walk around.

If he's gone, he is again one to give darling a surprising amount of freedom. He has the highest quality of security available and all, so he allows some roaming. That and, in a sorta terrifying thought, he's one hundred percent confident that even if you got away, he could find you, so he's not even too worried about escaping. He's so confident that you'll never truly escape him, which frankly is pretty intimidating for darling to realize. He'll get you things you like and stuff to do, stimulate your mind and all that, probably as time goes on will leave you chore lists and things you're required to do for him or else.

When he gets back, he's very tired usually, will expect you to make him food and be sweet and greet him at the door when he comes back, preferably on your knees. If you're not, he'll get irritated, especially if you're trying to hide. If you're just asleep or something, he might excuse it and find it cute. But he does a lot for you, you know, the least you can do is this one little thing. If he's had a particularly bad day, he'll be extra irritated, so it's wise to follow this command, and be ready to have all of his irritation taken out on you the moment he gets back. You're his favorite little stress ball to stuff and squeeze.

For days off, as I've said before he's one of the few that will willingly take you outside, and unlike Kaeya from the last routine post he's not in a bad mood about it either. He likes to show you off, likes walking in public holding hands or with his arm around you so that people can see, it gives him a sort of pride, and honestly he likes mimicking a "normal" relationship. But just know you're on a tight leash. Not literally of course... yet. He lays it out very clearly exactly how you are to behave when going outside, not speaking to others and not going out of his sight. Any attempts to make a scene, try to get a stranger to help etc will be dealt with fairly harshly. And don't think about pulling some covert, sneaky shit like trying to look at a stranger with the "help me" facial expression or trying to silently mouth something, slip a written message to a waitress etc -- he'll be watching you closely enough to pick up on any of that, and honestly that will set him off more than blatantly trying to make a scene. You will be immediately headed home to get an attitude adjustment since you can't behave.

Later on, he'll want you to accompany him to his work sometimes, on those days that whatever he has to do involved more sitting down than fighting - paperwork, important meetings, etc. He likes your presence, of course, you make the time pass more quickly. But really this is, more than anything, because he's an arrogant show-off. He'll give you something to fiddle with but will just sit you on his lap throughout the whole time, gently stroking your thigh or resting his head on your shoulder, making you wear embarrassingly revealing things and making sure everyone sees, be it the entire group in a wide meeting hall or some subordinate come to have a one-on-one talk, or even his superiors, thanking them for them letting him bring his pet to work. It even allows him to get in some good de-stressing during the middle of the day when no one else is around. Expect lots of bring-your-fucktoy-to-work days like that.

Of course, not every day is spent out, though. He also has days he'd rather just stay at home. These days are usually after a long period of difficult work and late nights, so he's exhausted. Expect lots of naps, just cuddles and an arm wrapped around your waist (with a solid iron grip, of course). May or may not progress to slow cuddlefucking, who knows (yes it always does). He gets all whiny and demanding because he's soooo tired, so he'll make you get on top after a few rounds.

-------

Honestly we all envy my Zhongli's darling already, but God he's the best to wake up to. He just softly kisses the side of your face, running his hands down your sides. He can't let you sleep in too much, it's bad for your health! You can probably beg for a few minutes extra. And God, is it the best to wake up to. He's already got someone (probably one of the other adepti, a person, who knows) to make you food, and it's never skimping out either, it's always tons of food and your favorite things, too. Within limits, of course, can't have you eating nothing but things that are bad for you. He's also one that will get you tons of things to do throughout the day, virtually anything you ask for, he'll pay for (well... someone will, but you'll think he did, at least). He actually might also give you a list of very simple tasks to do, just to give you some motivation, since even if you have a lot to do, having no tasks and only play can get depressing without the sense of accomplishment. But he's much more lenient on your completion of all of them.

He's always reluctant to leave and gives you a lot of headpats and kisses before finally heading out for  the day, always taking time to contemplate whether or not he can just take the day off. During the day you'll stay in the confinements of your cage, be that an abode or a building somewhere, making sure you stand zero chance of ever getting out. If you force his hand (read: multiple escape attempts), he'll reluctantly have to limit your roaming abilities, but once you're confined to a smaller cage and have some privileges taken away, he's certain you'll be on your best behavior to get out again, and maybe be a little more grateful and understanding in the future. Once he gets back, it's generally a very nice time, he likes to lead a quiet life and will want to hear all about your day, what you did, see the progress on all those little projects you've been working on for art or music or whatever hobby you've taken up to pass the time. If he's had a bad day, he'll probably tell you about it, but you know, put it in terms simple enough for you to understand, since you wouldn't normally get such complicated matters.

On very very rare occasions, not nearly as often as Childe, he might take you to on his day with him, probably not during normal workdays, but for some kind of special day -- a large meeting, or the opposite, a day where he has nothing to do but slow paperwork alone in an office. The sunlight is good for you, and he'll bring stuff for you to do too. To be honest, it's not as obvious nor as obnoxiously vocal about it as Childe, but he also does enjoy having your presence in front of others, letting them see you. The things you'll have to wear aren't nearly as obscenely lewd as Childe's either, but they're not entirely wholesome either.

He really likes having off days. On those days, he'll probably want to take you somewhere, generally will do whatever you want to do. He's incredibly knowledgeable on everything in the area, and would probably also really like going out somewhere secluded in nature, rather than in the city, like a nice view from the nearby mountains or the like, and just spend a day there. It's nice, and far away from prying eyes that can't recognize your face off the missing person posters or witness the obscene things that may or may not take place up there.

 Spending time home is always nice too, though, just quietly going about the day and doing whatever you want, although inevitably taking breaks for much-needed... displays of physical affection. And he tries so hard to be gentle, but he also has a lot of stress pent up that may just come out and result in being a bit rougher than usual, but he's always apologetic afterward, making sure you're alright. He's also pretty strict about the time you go to bed. Making sure you get enough sleep and all that.

-------

Xiao's poor, poor darling. You always wake up to him shaking you awake. He's impatient. Once he feels you've had enough sleep, he'll get you up like that. Don't try to get more sleep-in time, he's not very gracious on that, will simply huff and yank you up. Otherwise, the mornings can be... Sweet. It's not like he's trying to be so cold all the time; if you're well behaved he can be pretty loving, even if he doesn't quite know how to be gentle. He just has... Low tolerance.

Xiao is very quiet for the most part, and the mornings have a sort of silent peacefulness provided it's one of your days that you don't choose to be difficult. He likes to watch you go about the morning. It's a little creepy to be honest? He just sits there nearby and watches you move around, make food, brush your hair or teeth or whatever. He'll eat whatever you make him, even if it's not one of his extremely limited liked items. He might complain, though.

During the times he IS gone, well, it's extremely boring for poor darling. Early on, or if you've done something to warrant it (read: literally the slightest word of disagreement, a tone of voice he doesn't like, even a facial expression he deems defiant) you'll be bound to the bed, hand and foot. Nothing to do whatsoever but stare at the ceiling. It's your own fault, if you were good maybe it wouldn't be like this, he says. When you are good, and have a nice long-time record of being extremely pleasant and sweet to him - and I mean a LONG time - he might - might - finally let you be unbound aside from a long anklet chain connecting you to the bed. Not like you have much else to do, though. Maybe he'll get you books if you ask nicely and grovel at his feet. But that's it. He doesn't like the thought of giving you too much entertainment. If being alone is mind-numbingly boring, well, you'll enjoy time with him that much more. Eventually you'll reach a point where you're begging him not to leave, he hopes, even if he would never admit to that. So what he'll do is balance it, give you just enough to keep your whining down, but keep making sure you're miserable when alone. He only allows you "activities" (read: a book) on certain days of the week, or every other day, every third day, something like that. And you can only get a new book once a month or so. And it's whatever he finds, not just what you want, so he'll start dropping you with encyclopedias and textbooks and other dull things. You can't complain, after all he IS giving you something to do. If you're gonna complain, well, how would you like to have the reading privilege revoked entirely? And that shuts you up. So, really, poor darling's days are very very bleak, dull, and empty, when alone.

He doesn't really have a "end of the day." His "job" is more or less a 24/7 thing, he goes when he's needed and when he's not needed he'll be with you. Usually it's a semi normal schedule but it can lead to odd intervals - you may have times he's gone for a full day or so, and then times where he's there for a whole day, etc. Spending time together is quiet, but he's surprisingly fond of physical affection. He spends a lot of time just... alone with his thoughts. Spacing out and thinking, looking up at the sky, except, well, now it's him, his thoughts, and you. You'll spend it with him too, iron grip locked around your waist so you can't pull away from his lap. He's also one to need to get out the... frustrations of life through physical activity at night.

Days he's there, again, it's pretty quiet, he's not much one for extensive conversation, of course. If you talk, he'll listen, but don't expect him to say much back. He likes the sound of your voice, one of the only people he doesn't prefer silence to, so long as you're not whining about wanting to leave. He doesn't really have a lot of sitting-down type of work to do, so if he's spending a whole day time with you, it means he's specifically worked it out so that he's able to do so for that purpose. He'll probably prompt you to speak, it's super awkward really. An awkward comment about this or that that he clearly wants you to start talking about, and he'll talk back just a little bit, with his own brand of harsh pessimism -- but that's just the only way he really knows how to communicate, he's not actually trying to shut you down when he responds to everything negatively. It's the most bizarre bonding time, but bonding nonetheless. He also likes to watch you do tasks -- to make food, even if it's just for yourself, to clean and walk around doing your little tasks. He may or may not eventually discover a fondness for forcing you to walk around naked, poor darling.

I've mentioned before that his drive is reactive - it gets heavier when he's with you. So really, your day will be filled with little fun intervals of very spontaneous fucking. Like, he has no sense of mood or timing. It's completely random, very forceful, will just loop his hands under your arms and scoop you up and carry you over to bed at any random moment, interrupting your speech even. Or, sometimes the bed is too far, and just bending you over is easier. And then, he'll just carry on like nothing happened.

He's not one to rant and rave about his day by default, and especially not early on. In the later stages, though, once he's comfortable with you, you might find him slipping out a frustration here or there, a passing comment about something upsetting that happened, and if you pry at it, he'll end up talking, much more than usual. He kind of doesn't even realize he's starting to ramble a bit, and if he catches himself he'll stop and mutter something about it being unimportant anyway.

Bonus little hc: He asks you how your day was. Every day that he's not with you. It's a routine - he started doing it because from his limited knowledge of human relationships, it's the "normal," so he tries to emulate what he feels like is normal in a relationship. It's kind of funny, well, not for poor darling, it feels mocking. Like, how do you think my day was, Xiao? All tied up and left only to stare at the ceiling? If you get all sarcastic with him like that, though, he might see it as grounds for punishment, so, be snarky at your own risk.

[lightrises]

"Only in allowing her to pass..." — Hornet, The Radiance, and the means by which Hallownest turned its victims against each other

A quick note: I read Hollow Knight as an anti-colonialist text. As such I'll be touching on topics related to colonialism as it's depicted in the world of the game, and said analysis will reflect both a sympathetic take on The Radiance and a critique of The Pale King that won't pull its punches. If this sounds up your alley, hello and thank you for the read! Let us be sad about these bugs together.

———

So!! A while back I realized something about pre-canon that felt rather... "curious" is one way to put it, I think. To wit: for all the effort and scheming and determination The Pale King poured into trying to get rid of The Radiance, neither of his plans involved directly killing her.

Was that his long game? Well, sure, that seems clear enough. His tack changed from luring the moths away from their god and creator to a more literal form of incarceration once the infection became a factor, but at its core the end goal never really changed—The Pale King very sincerely wished to destroy Radiance via obsolescence. The Seer lends us foreshadowing to confirm as much:

[Image descriptions: Two screenshots from Hollow Knight, showing the Seer and Ghost in the Seer's alcove at the Resting Grounds. Across both screenshots, the Seer tells Ghost the following: "None of us can live forever, and so we ask those who survive to remember us. Hold something in your mind and it lives on with you, but forget it and you seal it away forever. That is the only death that matters." End description.]

(Which, by the way and given the context, talk about an extremely unsubtle allusion to cultural genocide huh!!! Whew.)

In any case, we're left with a whole bunch of machinations which build up to... well, two very roundabout attempts at committing deicide. That's kind of weird, all things considered! Why not just do the deed in one fell swoop and get it over with?

This could be for any number of reasons. Maybe the king was devoid of the means to instantly kill another higher being. Maybe his personal sense of scruples stopped him short of signing off on MURDER murder (although, y'know, the aforementioned genocide + eternal imprisonment = still cool and copasectic apparently!). Maybe the long drawn-out cruelty was the point. Maybe the idea of playing fuckign 4D chess with the circumstances was too delicious for him to pass up—that man did love to tinker and stick his claws where they sure as hell didn't belong—or maybe it was a little bit of All The Things. Who knows!!

But interrogating The Pale King's methodology on this count isn't what I'm here for, at least not really. The main reason I raise this question at all is that in her own way, Hornet did too.

"I'd urge you to take that harder path... "

See, going by The Pale King's actions and what The White Lady explicitly says, they both foresaw two outcomes wrt the infection: it can be allowed to spread, or it can be contained. At Teacher's Archives, Quirrel acknowledges the fact that Ghost is expected to do... something about this, but he doesn't elaborate on what HE thinks that's supposed to be apart from the obvious "Gotta bust into Black Egg Temple first". Hornet is the one person who presents to us—to Ghost—what's framed as a third option: confront and destroy the infection at its source.

And she doesn't bring it up like it's just another tactic for Ghost to consider, prim and indifferent to what they would do. She nudges them towards it, actively, up to the point where she throws herself into the fray against Hollow at a juncture that's uniquely dangerous to her and her alone just to make that option feasible.

Even when she's couching it in disclaimers that this is still Ghost's decision to make (and let's be fair, she's extremely not wrong about that lol), no one can pretend Hornet is unbiased. It's obvious in that buttoned-down Hornet kind of way that she is way the hell done with the increasingly tenuous stalemate that's kept Hallownest's desiccated corpse from collapsing in on itself. Personally it's hard for me not to read some Toriel Undertale-esque "My father was too entrenched in his own foolishness to pursue any course of action that would have DEFINITIVELY ended this" shade into her stance here, regardless of whether that's strictly true in canon.

And that bit—Hornet's hopes for an end to Hallownest's stasis, moreover her grim calculation of what needs to be done to get there—that's the bit I find super interesting but likewise tragic and depressing as shit, on multiple levels. In no small part because a) canon itself gestures towards Hornet feeling conflicted about the very plan she's pushing, and moreover b) she has at least two (2) damn good reasons to feel that way.

So, what do I mean by that? Let's look here first:

[Image description: A screenshot from Hollow Knight, of Hornet and Ghost inside the Temple of the Black Egg, standing in front of the unsealed egg itself. Hornet has been struck by the Dream Nail and her dialogue is displayed as follows: "... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?" End description.]

As the curtain is about to drop on things one way or another, Hornet thinks,

... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?

Now, looking at that last bit it's easy to go "Oh no, Hornet's worried that Ghost won't survive killing The Radiance!" And I do think that's part of it: Hornet is, categorically, not her father. By endgame it's clear she's not content to view her Void-borne siblings as tools to be used then disposed of. She's also well aware that as a healthy autonomous Vessel amongst the countless dead, Ghost is the only person left alive who has a fighting chance against The Radiance. Knowing someone is the only qualified candidate for the job doesn't make encouraging them to embrace a probable death sentence any less of a bitter pill to swallow, though. And odds are on that this sentiment extends to Hollow too, who IS going to die no matter what happens here. To put it bluntly, it's more than reasonable to conclude that Hornet hates the absolute fuck out of this.

But I don't think that's all there is to it either. Remember what I said earlier about The Pale King's bids for genocide? Well, it's not like the man deigned to limit his efforts to just the moth tribe.

"We do not choose our mothers... "

On top of everything else—an infected Hallownest being all she's ever known, the fact that she only exists because of the infection, the list goes on—Hornet has spent her life wedged into a position that's been uncomfortable and terminally unglamorous at best: she is both a daughter of her father's kingdom and of Deepnest.

Deepnest, which like the moths and many others was here long before the wyrm and his lady wife swanned onto the scene and the God Become Bug laid claim to everything the Light touched plus a considerable amount of change. THAT Deepnest, which has fought claw and thread to retain its sovereignty against same-said settler king, and for which Herrah not only surrendered her life but also agreed to bed her worst enemy, all in hopes of securing a viable future for her people (put a pin in that last part by the way, I'll come back to it soon).

Two Worlds, One Family (Ft. An Indigenous Woman Trying Her Damndest To Work With What She's Got Versus An Imperialist Who Only Signed Up For This Because He Needed The Political Favor THAT Badly, So It's The Height Of Dysfunctional Actually). Fun times!!!!

The baggage this entails for Hornet is gnarly enough without implications made by The White Lady and the pre-canon timeline of events and even Team Cherry's dev notes that the king may well have looked at baby Hornet, gone "YOINK", then ensured she spent the lion's share of her childhood reared within the pearly auspices of his Pale Court*. That would be rather advantageous for Him Specifically after all, the potential to mold a born foe into a future ally and even have her trained in combat under the same tutelage as her doomed sibling. And far be it from him to stop a grown Hornet—his own flesh and blood too!—from making Deepnest her forever home if she so pleased. He totally wouldn't be reneging on his "fair bargain made" by doing this one simple thing until Hornet came of age, not t e c h nic c a l l y.

If that is indeed the case, there's a non-zero chance Hornet's formative years were a hot mess of cultural alienation and being a good deal more privy than most to just how much of a bastard her father could be. There's an equally non-zero chance that at some point she stood or sat within earshot as The Pale King finally, finally dropped all pretense and euphemism to name the Light for precisely what (for who) it was.

See, in conjunction with the question that started this whole dang train of thought I've been asking this one too: Does Hornet know? When she speaks of confronting "the heart of [the] infection" does she know she's talking about not just a literal person but someone very specific? The Radiance, who god though she may be shares skin in the game alongside Hornet as a native woman screwed over by the same settler king, likewise deprived of her kin and saddled with a life gone horrendously pear-shaped?

I'll assume for the sake of exploring the possibility and because I think it's a likely one anyway that yes, Hornet does know. She knows, and despite everything can't help empathizing. She might even look at Radiance and see bits and pieces both reflected and slightly inversed in her own mother: Radiance was forced to the sidelines while her people—her children, the brood she was meant to lead and care for—died out under The Pale King's rule, and it's no stretch to assume she's at least as upset about that as she has been about everything else; Herrah too took drastic measures for her people's sake, trying to head off annihilation by relegating herself to the sidelines in an act that was as much calculated risk as an attempt to find wiggle room and leverage in the face of a nasty proposition.

A calculated risk that, if things continue as they are, might well amount to nothing as the rest of Deepnest gets eaten alive by the infection. It survived The Pale King's advances for so so long, only to fall here. Herrah's sacrifice would be for naught; the other tribes—themselves the king's victims—would keep succumbing to the infection too.

And this is where things fall apart.

"... or the circumstance into which we are born."

Let's be clear: I think Hornet is wise enough to know what's what here, that all the carnage and suffering falls on her father's head for starting this slow-motion trainwreck in the first place. Hallownest wasn't always Hallownest. This domain was Radiance's home first, along with many others. It was the worm-turned-king who rolled up on the scene unsolicited and decided this was a ""'problem""" that had to be """solved""".

But the fact of the matter is that he's gone and The Radiance is here, raging, seemingly inconsolable. Above and beyond being Deepnest's rightful heir, Hornet isn't in a position to countenance more splash damage even if the grief and fury fueling it makes perfect sense. She can understand without ever bringing herself to love Radiance, and she can bend her knee to practicality even if she hates the everloving shit out of it because the fact that it "has" to end this way isn't fair.

This lends itself to one last awful conclusion: that Hornet has probably considered and (rightly or wrongly) discarded the possibility that Radiance can be saved, at least not without dragging more collateral along for the ride. If even her mother and every other enemy to the king seemed to dismiss talking Radiance down as an option way back when... well. Why should Hornet hope for any better after things have escalated so far?

Again, it's practical. A practical net good is what Hornet strives for. And again, it fucking sucks.

For extra tragedy points, this makes Hornet's extended crypticness around Ghost followed by her last minute casting about for a reason to tell them "Wait, don't; not just yet" that she never voices even more of a gut punch. She can't bring herself to burden Ghost with the context that haunts her so, least of all when it might weaken their resolve to go through with what (she thinks) needs doing.

It's the "same song, different verse" which led to the mantis tribe and Deepnest being pitted against each other: Hallownest rigged the game so that two women who could have been powerful allies—who have a mutual vested interest in driving out settler rule—wound up poised as enemies instead. And how awful is that? The king for all his being extremely fucking dead still gets the last laugh, because outside of a miracle the game never manifests Hornet can salvage what her mother started and look forward to a future where Deepnest pulls itself back from the brink if and only if The Radiance dies.

Resolution comes at the price of a completed genocide. Add two more dead siblings to the unconscionable pile thereof, while we're at it. That's what it boils down to whether or not Hornet can bear to articulate it as such, and there's no grace or even a properly bittersweet ending to wring from this clusterfuck. And that is rough.

———

* This has been better explained elsewhere, but a quick rundown: The White Lady tells Ghost that Hornet and Herrah "were permitted little time together." On its surface this can be taken to mean that Hornet was still very young when Herrah was shipped off to Eternal Dreamland—except this doesn't jive with the fact that we meet Hornet as an adult. If the stasis kicked in once the Dreamers went to their rest, which in turn halted the aging process for every living bug in Hallownest, AND before all this Hornet experienced little by the way of quality time with her birth mother... I think you can see where I'm going with this.

To top it off we've got Team Cherry weighing in ominously from their dev notes on Herrah: "As part of the agreement for her alliance and her role as a dreamer, King gave her a child (Hornet). Was she allowed to keep this child or was she taken away?" This isn't confirmation by itself of course, but given additional canon details (see above): Can I get a "yikes" in the chat fellas.

[moonstruckwytch]

top 5 museums!

man geese giving me a hard one right off the bat. erm, i'm gonna treat the branches of the smithsonian like separate museums, because otherwise this list would be... very short.

1. National Museum of Natural History: i'm an americanist by training and don't get me wrong, i love my subject. but one of the things i love most about this museum is that i know so little about the stuff it houses. there's an alternate reality out there somewhere where i'm actually studying marine biology and working with jellyfish and learning about coelacanths, but it's not this one. i've also just spent a lot of time in this museum. i'm emotionally connected to it. i have to go visit the giant squid, and the coelacanth, and robert kennicott's skeleton. they're friends, and i love them, they've gotta be at the top of the list. (not to mention the creepy bird hall, which haunts my nightmares)

2. National Museum of American History: this was in a bit of a fight with the Hirshhorn for second place, and only won out because working there and getting to be in the space before people showed up, and for the ACCelerate Festival are two of my absolute most favorite memories. uh, what else can be said about this museum. sitting in the star spangled banner hall can make you feel very small, regardless of your (hopefully complicated) feelings about united states history. the statues in america on the move stare into your soul and look like ghosts and i am SURE they move when no one else is in the building, night at the museum style. they have muppets (what's not to love), and the ruby slippers, and an entire house! and as i've said before, i'm a united states historian by training, so i've got immense fondness for the place.

3. the Hirshhorn Museum of Modern Art: my beloved brutalist donut. my terrible horrible tiny escalatored, round menace. this museum is terrible, and wonderful, and i love it dearly. it's dizzying and confusing if you've never been (there is exhibit space in the basement, don't be fooled) and i've seen many, many things that have stuck with me in its galleries. a few favorites include pat steir's color wheel (2018-2019), ed atkins' safe conduct (2016), arthur jafa's love is the message the message is death (2016), reynier leyva novo's the weight of history, five nights (2014), janine antoni's lick and lather (1993) and literally so many more i couldn't name but could shriek excitedly about at you if i saw them again. it has instilled within me a love of modern art that i've known existed since i was very young (see next entry) but wouldn't have developed the same way without access to the hirhshhorn

4. The East Wing of the National Gallery of Art: the modern wing, the contemporary wing my beloved. where i first saw lavender mist by jackson pollock at a very bitty age and panicked everyone in the vicinity by running towards it. where the calders are kept. that gorgeous i m pei building full of light and glass and wonderful art and noise and the public! i am making myself beyond emotional just thinking about how long it has been since i've been in one of these spaces.

5. The Whaling Museum on Nantucket, MA: this is a bit of a cop out answer. i spent a summer working in the historic properties owned by the historical association, and i loved it, and i loved the museum. it's big open hall with a whale skeleton, it's rooftop deck perfect for eating lunch and looking out across the water, it's location partially inside an old candle factory with the actual press they used to harvest whale oil. it's a gorgeous space. that said, it's not necessarily a special museum by industry standards. it's a small local place (somewhere that happens to be very wealthy) and it shows. i'm fond of it for the time i spent there, but it probably wouldn't take much to knock it off this list.

it might surprise you there aren't bigger museums on this list. that's at least in part because i don't have a ton of experience with other museums (at least not as a visitor) that feels ridiculous to admit, as someone in the industry, but the pandemic (and the fact that my extended family in places where there are other museums, er, don't really like museums) have limited my experiences. im beyond lucky to be where i've been, and to be so involved in these places. this could easily be a list of my top 4 favorite jobs (+ plus the national gallery). idk.

send me an ask with "top five" anything, and i'll write you a very rambly answer!

[karlajoyner]

Stressed Out (Sunset Curve x Reader)

A/n: So starting off I've made a master list that I'm posting real soon for you all to access my stories without the scrolling. In order to post it I have to update my post about my requests/taglist and soon because I do get a lot on that comments that ask for more Charlie or more Owen and I wanna give you guys that but I also wanna make sure that I get through the requests that you guys send me with plots and storylines. It just makes it like a thousand times easier to have something to work off of. Opposed to me coming up with my own storylines that I have to do a lot of reading on my own to get my gears working! But again thank you guys for the comments! And finally I wanna say thank you for sending in your requests and your feed back. It is much appreciated!

Disclaimer: Alex is bi in this one not taking away from the fact that he's gay in the show it just runs best for this storyline! There is no Bobby btw! Haven’t written a foursome with 3 guys before so it might suck ass. And it’s not much but it’s something so enjoy my fellow fantoms!

Warnings: Smut (18+)

————

I internally groaned walking into school. I wasn't the worst student. But by far I certainly was not the best. Which is why I had a reputation since I first arrived to high school.

That and I was in a band with 3 of my best friends. Who all happened to be guys. Hot guys at that.

Which automatically made me the schools slut. It was fine with me but the boys didn't like the label.

No matter how true it was.

"Hey y/n heard you gave Mike Dawson a blowjob this weekend. Just when I thought you couldn't be anymore of a slut"

"Mind your fucking business Hayley" I heard a familiar voice speak up for me. A smirk spreading on my face as I felt an arm wrap around my shoulder.

"Did she come to you right after Patterson? What's it like to be her sloppy seconds?" Hayley Becker spoke with a wicked evil smirk plastered on her face.

"Fucking amazing actually. God the long nights we have. It's so great" I heard another familiar voice from my left. A large hand intertwining my fingers with theirs. She rolled her eyes clearly not expecting my boys to speak up for me. But then again neither was I.

"Slut"

"Skank"

"Whore"

"Bitch" I spoke as the bell rang.

"Just watch your back y/l/n" She said before turning around and walking away.

"She will!" Reggie shouted after the dark haired girl. The three of us expectantly looking at our bandmate.

"What? I didn't even get to tell her we would too" I sighed shaking my head at the boy.

"Thanks for sticking up for me guys but I can do that myself"

"We know. But your our girl. And apart of this band so we're kinda obligated" Alex spoke as the four of us walked to first period.

"Your really not"

"Come on y/n you know we're still gonna do it"

"I know and I only let you today cause I can't deal with that bitch at this time of day. I mean seriously it's 8:00 o'clock in the morning. Does she not have anything better to do than spread rumors about me?"

"Apparently not. So you and Jake Mills behind the church?" Reggie asked.

"Didn't happen considering I was with you idiots all weekend. You know your the only guys I touch" I bit my lip hearing the three of them chuckle.

"Yeah well it better stay that way. I don't wanna hear Trevor O'Connor bragging about banging you in the boys locker room again"

"Schools golden boy?" I questioned.

"He tried starting the rumor yesterday during p.e but we quickly shut it down" Reggie explained as I stopped a few feet away from the science room to continue talking.

"So Hayleys boyfriend wants to bang me? Wow"

"Yeah but don't even fucking thing about" Luke said pushing me up against the lockers beside us.

"I wasn't. Unless you guys piss me off" I grinned pushing him off of me. Opening the door a few feet away and walking in.

"Gentlemen. And Ms. y/l/n. Your late"

"Sorry Mrs. Daniels we had to deal with something"

"And did this something give you tardy passes"

"It did not"

"Detention. All of you"

"That's nothing new to them Mrs. Daniels"

"Shut the fuck up Hayley" I scoffed taking my seat beside Alex.

"Ladies stop it before I send you to the principal"

"Yes Mrs. Daniels" Hayley and I spoke in sync.

"I can't believe Luke dated her" I whispered towards Alex glaring at the blonde bimbo.

"Jealous?"

"Why would I be? I already have him. And I could have her boyfriend too if I wanted him" I said taking down the notes on the board.

"Mrs. Daniels I can't focus on the lesson because they're distracting me with their talking" Hayley spoke pointing an accusing finger at us.

"We are not!" I shouted sitting up.

"Yes you are probably talking about who your gonna whore around with next"

"Yeah it's your boyfriend if you don't check yourself Hayley"

"Trevor would never do that!"

"I'm pretty sure he would"

"Ladies principal office right now" I scoffed standing up.

"Wait!" Luke shouted standing up. Everyone's heads whipping toward him. He made his way over to me groping my left boob.

I scowled at how hard he squeezed glaring at him.

"Dickhead" I muttered.

"Mr. Patterson! You too principals office" We looked at the other two boys expectantly. Alex immediately rolling his eyes before standing up.

"We could do this the easy way or the hard way Mrs. Daniels"

"If she goes we go"

"I cannot send you two away for absolutely no reason Reginald" Mrs. Daniels spoke challenging the boys.

I close my eyes preparing myself for what came next. Alex was quick to slap my ass while Reggie pulled me in for a sweet kiss. Immediately earning gasps from my classmates.

"Now I can do it. Office all of you! And detention today after school!"

I groaned walking out of the principals office with my bandmates.

"Detention for 3 weeks. Seriously?"

"To make it worse we have to spend 2 of those with Hayley" I spoke seeing the blonde talking with Trevor just a few feet away. Being sure to send them a harsh glare, I finally turned back to the boys.

"Hey you'll be with us everything's gonna be fine" Reggie said throwing an arm around my shoulder leading me away to our next period. That we conveniently had together.

"No it won't. I also have to chaperone the stupid homecoming with Hayley" I cried wanting nothing more than for the day to be done for.

That afternoon we spent in detention not leaving until late afternoon. Due to the fact that my detention went on longer than the boys.

I walked into the studio behind Luke not really in the mood to practice.

"What's wrong y/n/n? You seem down" Reggie asked as I plopped back onto the couch.

"I'm just tired is all. And a little stressed out"

"But we've gotta practice baby, for our next gig. Sunset Curves so gonna rock that book club" Luke said picking up his six string. I watched as Alex and Reggie sent him a glare, the boy immediately putting it back down.

"Or we could take a day off" He spoke coming to sit to my left while Reggie was on my right.

"That sounds amazing" I mumbled feeling Alex begin to massage my shoulders from behind. I craned my neck allowing him more access. Now feeling a little more relaxed than before.

"So tell us y/n/n why are you stressed out?" Luke asked as I shut my eyes.

"Well for starters I'm so gonna get my ass beat when I get home" I sighed feeling Reggie begin to rub my arm to comfort me. Something he did often with how anxious I got.

"And there's just nothing I want to do more than run your ex girlfriend over with a bulldozer" I mumbled hearing a chuckle escape their lips.

"Sounds like a plan" Alex said as Luke intertwined our fingers.

"We'll make a day out of it. Just us four and a bulldozer" He joked making me giggle. The laugh got caught in my throat as I felt a soft kiss on the side of my neck.

"Seriously guys? Not today. No way" I spoke opening my eyes.

"We just wanna help you relax"

"That's what you said last time. I couldn't walk right for 2 days" I mumbled the last part.

"We'll be gentle" Reggie spoke.

"I know you will Reg. It's them I'm worried about" I spoke earning a pointed look from Alex.

"Okay Luke"

"Am I that rough?" He asked a frown forming on his face.

"Sometimes" I admitted feeling a little bad.

"Gee I'm sorry baby" Luke spoke kissing the back of my hand.

"It's okay. I like it when I'm in the mood" I said watching as Alex walked around the couch.

"Well then boys why don't we help our girl relax for today" Alex said bending down in front of me. I bit my lip as he spread my legs open feeling a slight breeze hit my covered core.

"Well there's no need for your skirt or these" Alex spoke toying with the waistbands of both my skirt and panties.

I shimmied out of them with ease leaving me exposed to my best friends like I'd been many times before.

"She just gets prettier every time"

"And wetter"

"Mind if I taste baby?" Luke asked. I nodded my head, watching as he dipped his long fingers in between my folds. Moaning as he pulled them back up to see them glistening with my cum.

"So good" He whispered putting them in his mouth.

"Okay I want a taste now" Alex said opening my legs a little wider.

"Guys. A little help" I huffed as Luke and Reggie hooked themselves on each of my thighs to keep me still.

"Please" I begged getting more turned on by the second. The blonde didn't hesitate to latch onto my core. A loud moan escaping my lips.

"Oh fuck" I struggled to keep still as he moved his tongue skillfully through my folds. Lapping it inside and out as moans fell from my lips.

I whimpered as Reggie slowly began to rub my clit making the pleasure intensify.

"Use y-you're f-fingers" I mustered out Alex obeying my request sticking two fingers in my wet pussy. Picking up the pace. My eyes screwed shut as a familiar feeling of bliss coursed through me.

"Look at me baby" Luke muttered turning my head to look at him with his free hand. I opened my eyes looking into his blue ones covered with complete lust.

He was quick to smash his lips onto mine as the other two worked on building up my orgasm. Which wasn't far at the pace Alex was working on me.

"Holy shit!" I panted pulling away and throwing my head back at the amazing sensation of my orgasm hitting.

"You squirted princess" Alex grinned wiping away the liquids dribbling down his chin. I giggled at his swollen pink lips placing a quick peck to them.

"What now baby?" Luke asked rubbing his hand on my thigh.

I looked at the three boys before discarding any remaining clothes I had left. Watching as their eyes raked me up and down like many times before.

"Reg can you just fuck me today. I really need gentle" I begged as his cheeks turned bright red whenever I asked him to do something. Whether it was sexual or not.

"Sure beautiful" He smiled lopsidedly pushing his lips onto mine.

I sighed in content as he pushed me down on the couch. My head landing on Luke's lap giving me a little leverage.

"She's something else" Alex spoke to no one in particular.

"Your telling me" Reggie panted pulling away to undo his belt and jeans. I bit my lip looking up at the boy with the blue eyes. Who no surprise had a smirk plastered on his face.

"Condom" I heard Alex say presumably to Reggie. But I was too entrance in Luke's gaze wanting to include him. Upon hearing a ripping of a package I glance back at the boy who was hovering above me.

"I can do something for you after if you want" I bit my lip speaking towards Luke.

"It's okay baby. It's about you today" He said moving his hand down from my collarbone to my boob.

Reggie and I moaned simultaneously as he slowly entered me. Immediately stretching me out.

"So tight" He muttered beginning to move at a steady pace.

A squeal escaping my lips as Luke pinched my nipples paying close attention to each of them. He'd always been a boob guy.

I pulled Reggie down towards me our lips meeting in the middle as his speed began to increase.

Then there they were again. Fingers were now rubbing circles on my clit presumably Alex's sending my body into pure ecstasy.

I moaned loudly into Reggies mouth as I felt myself my inner walls clench around him. Earning a groan from the bassist. His thrust becoming more sloppy.

"Shit. Shit. Oh fuck" He cursed as his orgasm hit. Mine coming seconds after.

"Holy fuck Reg" I panted coming down from my high.

"That was pretty fucking hot princess" Alex spoke as Reggie got off of me to go throw away the condom.

"I try" I joked sitting up. Luke immediately removing his muscle tee and handing it to me.

"You do know this isn't gonna cover much up right?" I questioned him putting it on anyway.

"Who said we wanted you to cover up baby" He said pulling me under his arm. I sighed contently placing my hands on his bare torso.

"Anyways Reg why don't you go run her a bath inside the house" Alex suggested throwing me my panties that had been thrown onto the lazy boy.

"Got it!" Reggie said coming over and placing a chaste kiss to my lips before running out of the garage.

"I get to clean her up in the shower. Called it" Luke said as Alex wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Just as long as I get to put her to bed"

"Guys I've orgasmed twice today give me a break"

"Are you feeling more relaxed princess?"

Alex asked grinning at me.

"Much. Now if we could do that consistently for the next 2 weeks then I might be able to get through detention with Hayley without ripping her head off" I spoke earning a laugh from the two boys. Both of them knowing well that I wasn't joking.

————

Up Next: Carrie Wilson x Reader

Owen Patrick Joyner x Reader

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Alex x Male Reader

Luke Patterson x Reader

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

————

@lolychu @headheartbellarke @bookish0918 @kcd15 @ifilwtmfc @moviesbooksandfandoms @lovesanimals @lavender-writer @kaitieskidmore1 @morganayennefertyrell @iloveteenwolf @ghostofmgg

[athys-obelia]

summary: no one's evil au lmfaooo but make it pt. 2

character/s: anastacius de alger obelia, claude de alger obelia, athanasia de alger obelia, jennette de alger obelia

and here's part 1 <3

oh my god okay. okay. so.

ana, claude, athy and jennette - they go on a LOT of vacations

claude complains every single time but anastacius pulls his trump card and sends athy and jettie BOTH after him

u think he's strong enough to say no after that? lmao jokes

and their vacations always go this way:

jennette: isn't this scenery just gorgeous, uncle

claude: indeed it is. and...quiet

jennette: ...too quiet

[cut to anastacius in the distance, fighting a bear as athy cheers him on]

athy + anastacius, hands down the most chaotic pairing yes i will not be taking criticism

they have tea in ana's palace everyday, just the two of them, they're so poised and picture perfect through the entire thing everyone thinks it's just the emperor giving profound advice to his heir

it's actually them deadass scheming,,, ana has no qualms discussing everything from court gossip to military tactics, both of which she's so on top of all the time

if anyone shit talks jennette or claude, this tea party is where their slow and agonizing demise is planned out to the dot

[true story - count sivan once made the fatal mistake of expressing his favour for athy as the next empress, dissing jennette by comparing her to athy sm which inevitably sparked a debate that ranked the princesses. a week after athy's sources informed her of the kindling behind this new debate, the count's sudden divorce became the talk of the town, and the man's business faced bankruptcy all of a sudden. the sivans still haven't recovered.)

athy n jennette were actually allowed to visit kiel in arlanta a few times, except it was too dark at their first arrival, postponing the meeting to the next morning

buttt then jettie can't sleep and she decides on a midnight snack run (their hotel doesn't really have the maids the palace does, but oh well. she's left the palace w lucas n athy plenty of times)

felix tags along btw, he knows this trip is important to the girls since they're leaving the palace without their Overprotective Papas™ for the first time and want some sense of independence, but... she's just so smol n he couldn't bear it if anything happens so he just shadows her

she totally knows he's there

n e ways so there's a juice place right beside their hotel which she aims for, but when jennette reaches it, it's closed

and out of nowhere, a voice addresses her - "hey you, do you come here a lot?" she nearly jumps out of her skin at the brunette, relaxing when she sees he's literally a kid around her age and not a murderer lmfaoo "me neither," he continues without waiting for her, pouting at the closed sign, before he asks for her name and whether she's new in arlanta

she confirms that yes, she's only visiting, and refuses to tell the stranger her name, still feeling strange at being addressed as 'you' for the first time (well, minus lucas, but he was like her brother and had the emotional capacity of a teaspoon, so)

he eyes her. "you're so weird. i've never seen a girl out so late before, and alone too. are you stupid?"

(felix has his sword out at this point)

she's flushing now and has no idea why she's still out here, but then this stranger kid apparently senses her mood and tells her the best ice cream store in arlanta is not too far away

(he also explains he knows someone who's starts doing weird things when she's hungry as well, and tries to defend that ice cream is actually a healthy midnight snack, "you can just take a healthy flavour like strawberry or mango, mangos are healthy,,right"💀️💀)

so jettie has travelled all the way from obelia, she loves her papa but he would have a heart attack if he found out she was ever awake this late?? yeah bc she's never getting this chance again, jennette accepts the offer

the stranger boy seems to be taking the whole "i'm not telling you my name," thing like a joke, and asks what he should call her since 'you' was getting boring

she goes with "lady j" and like a knight, the boy becomes "sir c"

(felix is on the verge of committing a crime - the princesses can only have one knight, after all)

they walk as the the boy navigates the streets in the dark, and she asks whether he's from the academy, seeing his uniform

"of course i am! you could probably tell bc i look so smart, right?"

she snorts. "yeah, that."

she also comes to know that this guy,,,well he might as well be a tourist? she's out here asking stuff like "oh where's the statue of lady alphia?" or "aren't we really close to the museum where they keep the first emperor's sword?" and he goes "lady do i look like your brochure?? but if you turn right from here there's a cool arcade and across the street from there is the best street food vendor you'll ever eat from."

well at least mans had his priorities straight 😌

"so can you take this off?" he asks, pointing towards her dress once they've neared the store

um???????? sir tf????????????

anyways jettie has been living with lucas n her dad farr too long to not take this the wrong way?? "...no?"

the boy raises an eyebrow "look, it looks like an expensive cloak but i promise i'll return it, alright? i gotta hide my uniform."

ohhhhhhh. 😳.

so she unfastens the cloak and because he's kinda just staring at it cluelessly (he can't even tie his shoelaces fight me), jennette sighs and moves the clothing over his shoulder, fastening it in place at his neck

he's literally a tomato when she looks back up and realises that yes, we are way too close rn

bc she's ana's daughter, jennette by default cannot function when she's flustered. so she kinda stumbles backwards like a fish out of water (years of princess training n etiquette? where art thou??) and 'sir c' has to grab her forearm so she doesn't bump into the pillar behind her smfh

the shopkeep is definitely suspicious of this pair that's definitely too young to be out so late, but chalks it down to his sleeplessness

they escape the store with the ice cream before the shopkeep can ask any questions, and 'sir c' escorts jennette back to her hotel. he climbs onto the roof of the building, helping her up as well

(felix wishes he had a magic stone to capture this moment, this is the first time he's seen jennette become such fast friends with someone)

she stands on the roof (it hurts her butt so she doesn't wanna sit)

"my sister would be so jealous right now," jennette murmurs, "she told me her ideal first date would be either a picnic or something like a moonlit walk. we're having like a moonlit picnic."

it's silent for a few seconds the boy speaks up, "is this a date?"

oh-

oh.

"i mean- i didn't- i don't- uh."

give her some time lmfao she's loading

"i don't really mind that," he tells her, and she thinks she might just walk off the roof in her embarrassment - who just says something like that?? "you're probably feeling really lucky right now, right?"

jennette: ✊😔

he does look pretty in the moonlight, she admits to herself, listening as he excitedly tells her about his siblings at home and how she should send an offering to the gods since they gave her the good fortune to be on a date with the most good looking one of all four of them

in turn, she tells him about how she spent her childhood away from her amazing dad and had gotten closer to him recently, about her sharp-witted uncle, her sister and friends

(the 'friends' section includes felix and he's melting)

she smiles - it's almost as if, at finding out he treasures his family just as much as she does, they've gotten a bit closer

and he tries to listen. jennette had guessed that his temperament was somewhat like her dad's - her dad didn't know how to listen, always making his opinion known before anything else, though she supposes as emperor he could do that

'sir c', on the other hand, tried his best, his blue eyes focused on her as he almost burst from the unsaid words he was holding back, trying to let her finish. the sight was an odd mix of sad and insanely adorable that she couldn't help but let him tell her about everything he couldn't hold in

sensing she could pass out from her exhaustion nearly half an hour later, and 'sir c' escorts her to her window and helps her sneak in bc "what sort of knight would i be otherwise?!"

(felix can't stop shaking the entire night)

the next morning, jennette's heart is pounding as kiel shows her, athy and felix across campus - the chance is low, but still...

"ezekiel!" comes a voice, and the four watch as a turquoise haired boy waves down the alpheus heir "are these the guests you mentioned?"

kiel introduces the trio to johannes vastia before asking, "where's cabel?"

"at the training grounds, he asked if you could bring everyone there so he could show them around there."

"... they're my guests though?"

athy is quick to befriend johannes (i mean she and his sister are practically the same person, so) and at the grounds, jennette's blood runs cold

(so does felix's)

the brunette doesn't notice her at first, arguing with johannes about something as kiel introduces him as cabel ernst

jennette is hyperventilating?? actually back up is this girl even breathing??

cabel ernst from kiel's letters? the 'loud and obnoxious cabel ernst', who gradually turned into 'my acquaintance cabel ernst', then 'hardworking, passionate cabel ernst', and finally 'my friend cabel'?

she'd actually rather admired this slow build of respect between her friend and the ernst boy, and had even expressed her interest to meet him

"this is the first daughter of his highness prince claude de alger obelia, princess athanasia-" cabel mock salutes the princess before his mouth forms an 'o' and he remembers to bow, "-and here's the emperor's only daughter, her highness princess je-"

andddd his eyes widen comically "-hey, lady, it's you?"

yeah jettie is on the brink of literal death - her entire face reddens as this...cabel, grins at her

she watches as he glances behind her, "and you're the guy who was following us - sup?"

felix flinches "...you knew...?"

cabel shrugs. "i mean you do kinda suck ass at the whole subtle thing."

"don't say it like that," jennette retorts, "felix was trying his best."

"princess 😭😭 you knew as well?"

"uhhhh no?"

athy + kiel in a corner: 👁️👄👁️

they watch as cabel's eyes widen all of a sudden and he just,,,runs away

...🐦...🐦...🐦...

yeah well anyway he comes rushing back a few minutes later, a piece of cloth in his hand "...*huff* here *huff*...you go."

athy totally flips out "jennette is that your CLOAK???!??"

"uhhhhh no?"

"um do you realise uncle would literally wage war at this."

and as if it would make everything better,

"i washed it," cabel offers with a grin

"you didn't," the vastia heir deadpans

"i mean, johan helped a little bit."

kiel smiles murderously at the pair. "johan, did you know cabel took the princess out?"

"wait, you're a PRINCESS??"

your honour they aren't very smart

so the group orders some coffee (milk for cabel smfh) to find out what happened, cabel mentions "date" and everything goes to shit again lmfao

kiel and felix scheme against poor cabel while athy n johan get over that stage pretty quick ("listen. MY sister will be living with ME after the marriage and if your friend wants to be with her he'll have to come with us to obelia." and johan's just like "fine by me ✌️😊") and start planning the wedding

cabel + jennette dip n sneak out of the academy again to get the juice they couldn't the night before bc shit is getting awkward here

on another note, our uncle cius' musical intelligence is actually very high - he can probably play more instruments than i can name tbh, but he feels most comfortable singing and i shit you not, this man has straight up an angel's voice

(didn't like singing in front of others coz he was secretly a nerd and only knew old love songs with deep lyrics, athy found out and educated him)

jennette tends to have nightmares often, most often regarding their family - she's seen her father murder her uncle for the throne, and vice versa, athy admitting her affections towards jennette were a front to get the position of crown princess, her uncle killing her to solidify athy's claim, etc - her family is her everything, so despite however many times these horrible scenes play before her, she's left sobbing uncontrollably

and on these nights, she leaves for her father's room, who holds her close and sings her to sleep

also lucas n jennette are like sibling duo# 1,,, jettie is an active lucathy shipper even though he denies it sm - like their dynamic is just peaceful walks in the gardens as she watches the plants n lucas shi talks the nobility and kiel

claude and athy have a thing for each other's sleeping on each other? idk it's weird

athy once fell asleep on the couch while reading with him, and claude moved her head onto his lap so she wouldn't be uncomfy sitting - well, she woke up to his hand absentmindedly raking through her hair and it was just so soothing that whenever she's tired and he's working or reading, she just plops her head on his lap and zzzz

and claude wondered what was up with that, so she proposed they switch roles and he felt so awkward trying to lay down in front of her lmao

obviously athy noticed and she just started reading, thinking he might be more comfortable if her attention isn't on him completely - she ended up reading out loud while playing with his collar and he just,,,passed out

also anastacius has definitely pulled jennette aside regarding the issue of his heir at some point - she had been hesitant at first before admitting she wouldn't like to be the empress at all

i know we'd all love to see empress!jettie and her sister duchess!athy ruling the court, but i really really really can't see her wanting the title?

so thus start athy's empress lessons, but holy shit her teacher is mean

like this man makes me want to bash his face in?? so he doesn't like the idea of athy becoming empress over jennette at all, all bc of both hers and claude's mothers being commoners

he has one of those long ass sticks that you use in presentation to point at stuff?? idk but basically mans has athy name every region, its lords and their vassals during their first lesson

the first time she gets one wrong, she's too shocked as the stick meets the delicate skin of her forearm to react

now the thing is, wmmap!athy would probably stand up against this bc her dad is the emperor and she's his only heir, but i imagine with anastacius' social nature he holds many parties / balls where she's probably heard claude's mom + diana slander and it wouldn't be unreasonable for her to be self conscious abt it (now she's the emperor's heir while jennette, 100% royal + noble blood, is right there which probably makes her feel even less legitimate)

so she endures it, the light marks on her arms as well as the taunts of his she's too smart to not understand - perhaps this is the price to be accepted in jennette's place?

and honestly, no one really notices until at breakfast a few weeks in, where jennette mentions how her dresses are still so modest when sleeveless dresses were more in fashion - ana is suspicious because athy is always on top of these things, societal trends and such, and claude is sus from the way she hesitates slightly in her answer, "i haven't had the time lately, i suppose"

the lesson after focuses on ettiquete since everyone knows she's good at politics and such already, but now tears of frustration are pooling in her eyes because what the hell?? this guy had made an opinion of her long before he even met her, so anything she did would be wrong in his eyes

he gives her a sinister smile, "tired, princess?"

"no," she insists, keeping her voice level. he's about to spout some other nonsense, when anastacius enters the room, taking a seat across from her

anastacius watches quietly as athy answers the teacher's questions in her "public" voice. he watches as her usually cheery disposition is replaced by something far more...dead, despite the front she puts on for him. he's soundless as she hesitates in her answers where she normally would've been louder, more confident. he stops watching in silence when his niece flinches at the sight of the stick

oh.

he interrupts her lesson, not missing the way she winces almost imperceptibly when he grabs ahold of her arm, announcing, "we're going."

he just- it's just that that was the moment he knew for sure - the sight of his niece emotionally disheveled for the first time reminds him too much of how his own brother had once been, and he'd... he'd promised he wouldn't let anyone hurt his family anymore

he ends up taking her to the port with some of his advisors to welcome some royal guests, insisting that she would learn better from experience rather than books - but the guest delegation gets so boring that he sneaks her out of the meeting n they end up in the streets

now athy has no idea where they are, but apparently her uncle does?? ana has his hand on her head as he navigates the streets of the capitol as if he comes here everyday, using magic to casually disguise the two of them

in the meantime?

felix is at the port trying to cover for them smfh, he makes up this huge story about how the great wise emperor wanted to familiarize his heir with the locals, understand her subjects, yada yada

back at the palace prince claude is currently dragging a man by his collar and only upon jennette's insistence does he throw him in prison rather than literally kill him

(jettie visits him later in prison to give the guy a piece of her mind, after felix's visit he's sporting a few noticable bruises and the prisoner is practically unrecognizable once lucas visits)

back to athy + ana, they end up stuffing themselves with some super good street food as anastacius confesses that yes, he has definitely been sneaking out of the palace ever since he was a lil kid

athy almost mentions that she, lucas n jettie sneak out too but that might give him a heart attack, so

"it's so pretty, uncle cius," she says, gesturing towards the necklace he holds up. once he's paid for it, anastacius fists the necklace, opening it to reveal the jewel pendant - now imbued with his magic and replaced with gold lettering of the word athanasia

and she realises that yes, that's what both him and her dad have called her all her life, haven't they?

"you're my heir, athanasia," he uncle tells her with a small smile, "i am proud of that."

getting teary, she tells him, "i'm really proud of you too, uncle cius," triggering a very flustered + blushy anastacius

this mans craves validation - not from the sycophantic nobility, or the obsequious concubines he'd dismissed all those years ago, but from the family he thought he'd neither have nor deserve

and just the acknowledgement is so large for athy - he wants her as his heir, not because she's his niece, but bc he trusts her to look after his hard work after him??? - yeah she's totally bawling her eyes out

anastacius magics her a handkerchief but my mans magic isn't that strong?? lmao he's used up so much by now that the 'handkerchief' turns out to be some scratchy tissues

awkward amirite

nope! athy laughs at that, offering him a sip of her drink as she magics another straw and a proper handkerchief lmfaoo

n e ways so when they return, everyone's shocked to learn that the crown heir, princess athanasia will actually be joining the official circles as anastacius' temporary aid - he doesn't wanna entrust her to anyone but family, and decides that the best way to learn is by his side

(she's so confused bc lucas doesn't normally bat an eyelash when she wears the prettiest gowns, but he deadass can't look her in the eyes when she's in her aid uniform - it's more like a suit than it is a dress)

yes lucas women in suits >>>>>

everyone is STUNNED when at dinner, claude proposes they leave on vacation??

anastacius is just not having it?? like no, this is not my brother, and he throws a grape at claude to check if it's a clone or sum (¿¿how does that work??)

anyays so he ain't no felix, ana's aim is ass and it hits jettie instead

mans nearly gets on his knees to apologise

long story short everyone preps for vacation, but by some aCCiDeNt claude n athy end up at a different destination than jettie n ana, when she suggests returning to the palace to regroup, mans deadass sulks

"so you wouldn't like to spend this time with your father, despite barely visiting my office for weeks?"

o-oh

so at their return, the nobility starts pestering everyone that the princesses aren't independent enough, yada yada idc so to quell this annoyance, to the girls' joy, they get to move into emerald palace together, while claude and ana stay in the ruby and main palaces respectively

literally emerald palace becomes such a cool place to be in since it's the residence of the only decent people in this family, the brothers spend hours going through the requests of maids who want to be transferred

it's such a busy time because of athy joining the court and jettie starting her studies as well - naturally, since she isn't becoming empress, she'll be getting the duchy claude + athy were to be given in the beginning

speaking of futures, jettie's interest in plants and cooking has definitely branched out into herbs

claude notices her tending to a small garden during his visit to athy and even gives her a few tips (he had been studying medical since he was a kid, and picked it up again when athy was born and the empire stablised somewhat)

this soon becomes a routinely thing, and he actually starts reading up on some herbs and even orders a few for her prospering garden

after a month of her learning from books, claude proposes adding a medic as one of her teachers, and turns out his hunch was right?? she's excelling at medicine and they keep it between themselves for the time being

it doesn't last long though, bc they're on a hunting trip when ana injures his leg

and !! this girl istg, she gets to cleaning and wrapping the wound without blinking an eye, as if it's the most natural thing ever, and claude is just smirking while athy and anastacius and literally everyone else: 🌟💞✨jettie✨💞🌟

literal tears coming out of anastacius' eyes "how come my daughter is smarter than me😭💅"

claude: that's not a very high standard, brother

anastacius: ✨suddenly i'm an only child✨

behold, the people in charge of running an empire everyone 👏👏👏

even though jennette is claude's (unofficial) student and athy is her uncle's heir, they both ask their dads to the debutante

yes athy does dance with lucas, anastacius sent him an invitation even though he wasn't a noble (he's an active match maker 😌) and nobody dared question the emperor's special guest

at the end of the night, kiel gives jettie a letter from arlanta - it's an invitation to the academy during holidays, from a certain brunette

when she brings up the subject, felix lets out a squeak and literally everyone goes silent 😭😭

athy n kiel are just out here DARING him to spill them beans

but anastacius takes on look at his excited lil kid and decides that yups, she's going to get everything she wants

a/n: i literally don't know how many parts this should have lmaoo but y'all made it this far!! thanks for reading i hope you liked it<3

[criticallyacclaimedstranger]

Ficlet: Lunch

Spent part of my workday writing this absolutely disgustingly fluffy piece for MY OWN ENJOYMENT and I regret nothing.

Frankie x you

Rated F for FLUFF

Warnings include cavity-inducing fluff, self-indulgence, and also reader doesn't like public displays for affection

Summary: Frankie brings you lunch to work and eats with you. That's it that's the plot.

A/N: Thanks to @missredherring for the idea! A consensual MWAH to you!

It's 11 am and you lock your computer, grab your phone and keys, and hurry out of your office before anyone can catch you. Frankie's already waiting by the main door, a takeout bag in hand. He's in full vacation mode already: a Hawaiian shirt that show a little more skin than you yourself would be comfortable with, cargo shorts, sandals, his customary baseball cap, and Ray-Bans.

"Hey," you smile at him as you join him and immediately beckon him to start walking with you towards the park next to the building where you work. You can plainly see from his body language that he wants to give you a hug and a kiss, but he checks himself, knowing you don't like that sort of thing in public.

"Hey," he replies instead, a warm smile crinkling his eyes. "Hungry?"

"Famished," you acknowledge. "Did you go to - "

" - that café you like that's on the other side of town instead of the chain that's just next door?" Frankie grins. "Yes, I did."

"Appreciate it."

"Their sandwiches are the best, and cheaper."

"That's why I want you to go there."

The park overlooks the bay from where a fresh, salty wind blows, giving comfort in this warm, sunny day. You quickly find a bench in the shade of a tree so your sun-sensitive skin is out of harm's way, and you kick off your shoes so that you can sit cross-legged and face Frankie. He places the bag between the two of you and starts to unload the goodies: sandwiches, smoothies, water bottles, and salt caramel brownies.

"I took the liberty of getting us dessert as well," he points to the brownies.

"Those are sinfully good," you sigh happily, already unwrapping your focaccia with goat's cheese. As you take the first heavenly bite, a cool sea breeze brings with it the sound of seagulls calling, and you close your eyes. This is one of the perks of your workplace: the proximity to a really nice little park, and the sea. Not much use for it in the winter, of course, but a very nice setting for lunches and, when the job allows for it, long coffee breaks in the summertime.

"You look nice," Frankie comments. "Happy. Tired, but happy."

"I am kinda happy right now, in this moment," you admit, opening your eyes again to find him looking tenderly at you. "Only three days left until vacation after today, it's not too hot, I'm having a delicious lunch with you..."

"I was waiting for you to mention me," he teases you. "Glad I made it to the very end of the list."

"It was a close call between you and the brownie."

"Meanie."

You bicker lovingly back and forth as you eat and then the conversation turns to vacation plans and, lastly, day to day practicalities. Frankie's getting groceries on his way home, as well as running a few errands.

"Want me to pick you up after work?" he offers when you've both eaten. You shift in your seat and recross your legs.

"I've got my bike," you remind him.

"And I've got a truck. But if you'd rather bike, that's fine. Just figured you'd like to go home in comfort, and with an AC."

"That's very considerate of you."

"Well, I'm a considerate guy," Frankie boasts, making you laugh before checking your phone for the time.

"Fuck. I gotta get going in a bit." You look up at him. "Thanks for lunch, baby, it was wonderful. I really needed this."

"You're very welcome." He leans back and slings his arm over the backrest of the bench, just reaching your arm and passing a finger over it in a feathery caress.

"Can I kiss you?" he asks in a low voice, clearly expecting a no. You give him a soft smile and decide that he's earned a kiss on a park bench in late June when the sun is shining and the wind smells of the sea.

"Yes, you can." You lean forward and he does the same, and you share a brief, sweet kiss above the takeout bag.

"Thanks for asking," you smile at him, so grateful that he respects your boundaries. His hand has closed lightly over your arm and he gives it a little squeeze.

"Always. I know you don't like doing this in public." He chuckles a little. "I actually expected you to look at me like I had just suggested full on intercourse on this bench."

You laugh but there's a part of you that feels bad. Frankie's a pretty private guy and not the one to grope his significant other in the supermarket checkout line but he loves every excuse to touch you, whether it's just brushing his fingers over your arm, like now, or having his arm over your shoulders. He's not opposed to stealing kisses on park benches either. Denying him this is like telling him to stop caring for you.

"Am I very terrible to be with?" You hesitate a little. "With my weird hang-ups?"

"The absolute worst," he comforts you. "And I wouldn't have it any other way."

Your heart jolts and you decide he's earned another kiss, one that he accepts with gratitude. When he's about to pull back, your hand darts up to his cheek to hold him with you for a third, little one.

"That's one for asking and one for lunch," you mumble, and kiss him one more time, tasting the salt caramel brownie on his tongue as yours slip in between his lips. "And one to prove to you that I am definitely not the worst."

Frankie grins. "I like how you have to prove me wrong all the time."

"You would."

You gather up the trash and stuff it into the takeout bag before slowing walking back towards your place of work.

"I don't wannaaaa," you whine but you actually feel more equipped to take on the rest of your day and, maybe, even the rest of your week.

"Three more days after today," Frankie reminds you, "and you're free to do whatever you like for four weeks."

"I can't wait."

"Neither can I," he agrees.

"Thanks again. I'll bike home, it's not a problem."

"Sure. See you later. Kick ass, baby."

You giggle, give him a small wave, and walk into the air-conditioned building.

Three more days. You can do that.

[sapphosvioletts]

Oh I’m sorry about your necklace Vi, I hope that your able to find it or at least find an identical one to replace it - it always sucks losing stuff like that. Same happened to me with a ring I used to wear everywhere, but ended up losing a couple month ago - stil haven’t found it but I refuse to give up as I’ve lost and replaced too many things in my life ((which sounds like a really old person thing to say in hindsight 😂 ))

Also I hope your sewing goes well!! Really cool to hear you’ve made a frog, as, let’s face it, frogs are absolutely adorable!!!

But my day has beeen good, I’ve spent a fair bit of it on my PlayStation playing minecraft as I’ve been building an overgrown greenhouse for my Bees - which I am now in love with!!!

Im also eating pancakes atm for my tea so things are going really well!!

Additionally I have to say - in response to your three ship response thingy - Kara Danvers and Lena Luthor? THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH!!!

I’m presuming you watch the show for you to be onboard with the ship, and if that’s the case then you have no idea how happy I am!!! I know so few little people who watch any of the CW shows and none of them agree with the SuperCorp ship so hearing you say that fills me with joy!!!

And I may be making a fool out of myself here in the off chance you don’t watch the show and enjoy the ship from somewhere else, but I gotta ask - 1. Whose your favourite character? 2. Do you watch any of the other shows?

- 🦋

yeah it def sucks, i'm sorry you lost your ring! i wouldnt call my necklace like a comfort item but i was def super attached to it. omg same i'm still refusing to accept i lost it lmao

and thank you!!!

and that's cool!! i love minecraft bees so much, i've made a couple bee houses in survival and every time my bees just... disappear?? like i give them flowers and water and beehives and literally everything but they just like despawn or something lmao but the greenhouse sounds so cute!!!!!!!!!!

and i only watch supergirl and it's been a while lol i still haven't even seen the new season skdhsjs but i do love it. and my fav character is def lena, i love her so much lasjkssjsbbsbsbsva

[hackink]

Step Dad

A short story

I hear thrashing and screaming, I yearned for it to end, never did. That quite sucks not gonna lie.

I'm the big one, it's like I'm the chosen one in my family, could be both good or bad. I've got to take care of my siblings, like all the time. The big responsibilities always point in my direction. It's not all bad, I do have my fair share of fun. But for that same reason, I must set a good example. I can't really act the way I wanna most of the time, usually I've make-up on my face, covering the skin before it. It's kinda complicated.

This one time, my parents came into my room, they introduced me to someone, he was a tall white man, and was fairly well clothed. He was wearing these really nice shoes, and had a suit on that looked like it cost buck. I shook his big hand, it felt soft, and a bit warming. We talked for about 30 minutes, he was a fairly nice person, and my parents seemed to like him as well.

After that time was over, my dad went to the room, and grabbed some suitcases out from the closet, as he rolled them by, I felt my heart drop. They explained everything.

Quickly, I put my make-up on, before it was too late, it was. Once I saw my little brother and sister hugging the leg of my dad, begging him to stay, I washed it off naturally. 'Who is he to take the place of my dad?' This thought lingered in my head that night, I took some sleeping pills.

I avoided the man, I didn't want to talk to him, if I saw my mother close to him, I'd turn my head, cause I know how violent I can get. There was this one time, where I walked into the kitchen to get a snack, was playing Minecraft with my siblings, and there I saw the two, hugging and kissing. I, at that moment, remembered how my dad taught me to drive, how he taught me to build a nice dog house for our pet dog, which had died upon my dad's exit. I remembered every single second I spent with my father, the amazing role model he was, and snapped.

Back in the 8th grade, one of my good friends was playing bloody knuckles with someone. He totaled him. He then turned to me, and held his fist up, I didn't last two punches. He told me to start punching the walls at home, bit by bit, so that it wouldn't hurt and my fists would become stronger. In two months' time, my knuckles along with my punches, had become stronger than most boys in my school. I beat my friend, the only time I did too, cause he trained after that as well, and became much better than me. Though, I did beat just about anyone in school at bloody knuckles.

I clenched my fist, and I dropped my phone. This man was innocent, I just hated the fact that he wanted to replace the man who could never be replaced, ever. I felt like letting him know. I had never punched anything as hard as I could, since it'd probably be the end of my fist, but boy do I gotta say his cheek was soft. He fell to the ground and hit the stove with his head, my mom started to scream and push me back, each little shove she gave me, let me know how much she liked this man. They all hurt. I hadn't seen her do that with my dad in the past year, and he gets to do it in the first week? I couldn't settle with that, I ran out the house, and went to my grandma's house, where I began punching the tree in order to not break down in tears.

She gave me some hot cocoa, and let me spend the night there. She felt like she always had, like my grandma, so I felt comfortable, silently I sobbed. The next morning I got up and took a shower, my hands had a bunch of wounds in them from punching the tree bare fisted, and they really hurt to clean. They were also shaking, 'maybe I cracked a bone or something?' I didn't really care, my adrenaline wasn't going down anytime soon.

I was taking a jog outside around the house to clear my mind, when I see a tall man, with some really nice shoes, and a bruise on his cheek come by. 'Your mother sent me to get you.' I ignored him, for his sake. He sat down in a chair, and patted next to him, signaling for me to take a seat. I was thinking it was a bad pun, was he here to mock me? His face was so infuriating, the fact that it wasn't six feet under was pissing me off. On my next lap around the house, I kicked his chair over, his suit looked expensive. He smiled and chuckled, 'kids these days are quite funny.' Why? He must be a psycho, my reaction would be to get mad, or confused at least!

He began to jog alongside me, this man was starting to tick me off big time. I stopped running, grabbed his tie, and said 'Get out, and I mean out, you lay another finger on my mom and I'll kill you!' I tripped him, and continued my jog. I'd feel guilty, but I can't for someone who got my father kicked out of the house, nobody deserves to live after screwing with my family.

I returned home later that day, still a tad hesitant because of the incidents the day prior. My mom asked me to help her cook, she was making shrimp. She gave me the basic rundown of what she had going, and started cutting vegetables off to the side, we started talking about the usual, how much I annoyed her, and how my siblings were idiots. I hear the door open, and I get ready for disappointment, 'Hello everybody!!' it's a... playful voice?

'Where's my food you peasants?' My eyes lighten up, followed by tears. I rush over to hug my dad, started to sob in his arms. He had a black bag, that had chips in it, he always brought chips back home from time to time. He lied it down on the table, and not long after, my siblings came running and crying. 'Dad why did you leave!?' My little brother cried as he hugged him, my sister on the other side. I felt a sense of family, something I haven't felt in a long time. Through the open door walked a other entity, the tall man. I then snapped back into life, and became a bit sad that I wasn't seeing my dad every day, or that he wasn't showing me something. I didn't feed him, I let him eat a microwaved frozen food, I could not give a damn about his existence. Well, that's a lie, I'd prefer if he was gone.

A couple weeks went by, I was kinda getting used to ignoring the tall man in my house. One good thing is that I never saw him getting intimate with my mom. Could've been good or bad, cause I couldn't punch him, bummer. He was always at work, your typical nine to five corporate slave. So when he was gone, I'd spend time normally with my family. I video chatted my dad every day or two, and just talked about life, sometimes he'd show me how to wood work via video chat. I could live with this.

One day, he came back with a few boxes in his hands, and a letter, or at least that's what it looked like. He opened the boxes in front of my sister and brother, as well as my mom and I. Inside the link box, there was a super high quality drawling tablet, the exact one that my sister always wanted, and cracked jokes about. She took it and ran to her room to use it. In the blue box, there was this laptop, one that my little brother was talking about gettjng for ages, and wouldn't shut up about how good it was. He said thank you and ran to his room to use it. I was pissed, he was trying to buy us into liking him, and it was seeming to be quite effective. He opened a my box, it was keys to a car, specifically the car I always told my dad I was going to get when I got money, and got us out of this house, into a nice house. He always said he was gonna buy it for me, I felt conflicted.

'I know we've had our ups and downs, but I really do want to get along with you as my child, or maybe even just a friend.' I saw my mom out of the corner of my eye, she was tearing up, of happiness. I came back to my senses, and went back to my room, slammed the door shut. I knew I had let my mother down, there were like twenty different emotions circulating through me, they were wreaking havoc. I began to punch the walls, I started screaming, it was probably audible from miles away. I felt weird, something I had never felt before. It didn't seem healthy, but I didn't care. This feeling was new to me, I felt like dying over and over, but even then, that might've not been enough to suppress the pain. I remember thinking to myself, 'I'm gonna kill him, he will die!'

That night, I asked him to come talk to me outside. He looked excited. We went outside, and I took him to the back of the house. I had an itch on my lower back. 'So, what's up?' I didn't reply. 'You're uh, quite the mysterious one aren't you?' He chuckled a bit to himself, I didn't move a muscle. He began to talk about what he had for the future, how he was gonna move us out in like a month, and buy us everything we wanted. 'That's what my dad's gonna do.' I mumbled quietly. 'I beg your pardon?' He replied. I couldn't take it anymore. 'My dad's gonna buy us a house, he's gonna move us out!' I pulled out the pocket knife from the back of my pants and stabbed him in the chest.

His blood came rushing out shortly, I began to scream and cry, 'You will never be my dad!' I stabbed him time and time again, he didn't move after a while. My dad walked up behind me and patted me on the back, along with my mother, sister, and little brother. We spit on him together, and we started to chant, it was a happy chant. We danced around his corpse. I started to sweat intensely, my family began to fade away, still chanting, it turned louder and louder. They began to float away, I dropped to my knees, and the tall man was laughing at me, he pointed and laughed. I started to laugh, with tears running down my face, I took the knife and pointed it at me, that's when I heard the voice. 'Wake up! Jesus Christ you've been sleeping all morning!'

My mom woke me up, I got up and went to the table. I got a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and began to eat. My mom walked outside and began to talk to my aunt, 'So, I was able to get this puppy sold for about $150!' I overheard some of their conversation, I wanted a puppy. My dad walked in with a bag, 'Hello my dear children! I am awesome for I have brought the goodies!' I look inside the bag, and tell him that he forgot my hot chips. He quickly runs outside. I take the bag over to my sister and brother, where they get their bag of chips, and start munching away. Once I finish my cereal, I get ready for school. I brush my teeth, and put on a sweater. My mom passes by me on the phone with her sister, talking about something, I couldn't quite catch it. As I open the door, I see my dad chasing after my baby sister, who's face is covered in mud, and laughing away. 'I'm gonna brush your hair so hard!' He yells at her, I giggle to myself. My aunt is outside my house, playing jump rope with my cousin. I wonder who's winning. My sister walks past me, and looks at me. 'Another bad dream?' she asks. 'Yea, this one was hectic.'

[emmy-the-dragoness]

Mutated AU: Prologue/Origins (short STORY)

Writer's Note: That's right I'm doing this little written story here to give you its... not-so-humble beginnings in a way to let you expect the goings on for the AU sooooo....

Here goes!

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"POWEEERR FIIIIIIISSSST!!" A youthful's voice rang out, thrusting out an arm with a bright blue, flaming fist that shot out of it at full speed. The incoming attack was making its way towards a large serpentine creature, complete with blondish white messy hair and yellow green eyes. With a smirk on its face, the cretin had its paws spread out wide and caught the attack in the nick of time, with a little bit of force as its feet were firmly planted on the ground. Tamaris, who the female monstrous mutant was properly known as, performed a counter clockwise twirl and lept at the boy with a fierce roar. KO shielded his face for the impact, but instead found himself pinned, before grabbing a peak at her unbelievably close face with one eye.

They spent the next 10 seconds gazing at each other, and the next thing they knew, the human and the beast started to laugh, having the time of their lives.

"Hahahahahaha, that was an amazing sparring session, Tamaris!" the child laughs, folding his arms behind his back.

His chimeric creature of a comrade couldn't agree more, with a nod and affirmative grunt. It was quite a good learning experience for the two in order to put their abilities to the test. Needless to say, she was impressed how far the hero in training had come with his innate powers had come, glad he has pals to help him out every step of the way.

With that said and done, it was high time for something to munch on as a reward, and since there was no Beardo in sight, who's humble abode was back at Lakewood, they settled for the next best thing they could find, and that was Weirdo's at the Danger Zone. Sure, the food he had was for a lack of better term, questionable. But Tamaris especially was hungry, so she was in a mood for a burrito. It resembled one of your run-of-the-mill wraps the original made, but it wasn't really any concern for her, being part monster. Ah, how she enjoyed the taste. Not only was it a favorite food for her, but it was also one of the only things to return in a more humanoid state she prefered. So as she took that bite of her meal, she diminishes a little in size, reverting into said form.

KO however, couldn't help but take in the scent, he was pretty parched after the workout. Then without warning, he hopped up momentarily and bit Tamaris' food, gulping it down. Her face paled at this, and instinctively pulled a little further away. "KO!" she exclaims, trying to hide her frightened expression to the best of her ability. "Oops." He said, rubbing at his head sheepishly. "The burrito smelled too good to pass up. Sorry!"

"It..." She wanted so bad to give him a bit of a scolding, but taking her glance upon her mutant saliva covered burrito bite, Tamaris had no other option to set that aside for a later time, after all. She gives a smile that didn't reach her cheeks all the way. "You know what, it's totally fine. Maaaaybe I forgot to pack you a snack beforehand."

"No worries! I'm having some spaghetti when we get back!" KO chimed in, with a smile of his own that was more playful and genuine. Tamaris gives a sigh from her nostrils. Hopefully things won't turn upside down at least. The two start their walk back to Lakewood Plaza, not taking into account that KO seemed to scratch at his head.

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Several minutes later, the duo arrives back to their destination, just a couple footsteps into the bodegas' parking lot. Tamaris had finished her meal while KO on the other hand... still kept at his incessant scratching from earlier. Did he have lice or something? He had no clue.

"You know you've been going at the itching on the way home, how about a break so it doesn't get all red?" his silver blonde haired pal asked him. "I have?" He took a minute to finally slow it down, moving his hands away from his hair. Two or three of his strands rested on his fingers, and he waves them off.

"So correct me if I'm wrong, but is this usually the part of your day where something drops down from thin air for a battle?" Tamaris asked, using a sleeve to wipe her mouth.

KO was about to answer her question, but he was interrupted when the signature Voxmore box had manifested from the sky, then plummeting downwards the concrete. Once making impact, it opens up all four sides, revealing Darrell and Shannon, with mischievous grins on their faces and combat ready poses.

"Ding-dong, mop face, it's us!" The orange, shape-shifting bot, Shannon cackled, her saw blades out and Darrell's arm cannon was at the ready.

That's when Tamaris decides to take a glance at the two fighting machines. They must be one of the kid's opponents he clashes with almost daily. "I take it these are the bucket of bolts you fight from that building over there?" She inquires, pointing at the Voxmore factory building, which just happened to be across the street from where they were.

"Sure is!" was the child hero's reply, already assuming a battle stance at his advasaries.

"Hey, at least Shannon's head here isn't even an actual bucket, thank you very much!" Darrell seemed a bit miffed by the comment while her sister exchanged a look of annoyance. "Do you seriously have to go there?"

It got a silent giggle from the mutant-shifting woman, before her too, takes a combat ready pose just as the level 3 hero did. "Why don't you go on ahead and be the first to start the battle? I wanna see what we're dealing with."

KO got pretty stoked, starting to hop in excitement. "Really? OKAY!"

He starts out by running towards Darrell, reeling back his right arm, a bright neon blue glow manifesting in a flame. "You hungry? Cause I've packed a POWER FIST SANDWICH JUST FOR YOU!" he calls out, thrusting the arm at the one eyed robot, launching the signature attack. Darrell, was, as always, prepared to counter whatever his opponent could dish out, so with a single shot from his cannon, blasts it away at the last second. He gives a snicker at this, while KO growls irritated, shaking the arm he just used. Dangit, that was no good. Gotta give it another try. Attempt number two, he brings out the left arm now, about to unleash the same attack again. This, however, made him stop a moment when he started to feel a strange tingling sensation in said arm. KO glanced at it, wincing a little, inhaling air slightly from his teeth.

This didn't take long for Tamaris to notice from a few feet, as she watches with uneasiness bubbling up in her being. KO stands there, seeing his forearm become an acidic green color, small, pointed claws sprouting from each fingertip. Four spike-like growths were digging out, one by one. He showed a sign of discomfort, giving a suprised yelp at the sight.

"K-KO?" Tamaris asked rather quietly. This looked exactly like what was happening. Oh Cob. As much as KO wanted to ignore this and just attack already, he was distracted, witnessing the right arm undergo the exact same changes as before.

"Tamaris? Is it me, or do I feel kinda funny?" He asks with a small frown, moving one arm to rest at his forehead. His fingers nearly felt like they were poked at, so upon feeling around more, KO would discover that longer, pointed spikes grew from his head, about four or five of them. The boxbot siblings didn't dare to move, watching the scene before them. Shannon was perplexed while Darrell did nothing but shake a little. Was he... afraid?

Alright, this was getting concerning to watch for Tamaris. She had a troubled look that was clearly written on her face, should she stop this? She wasn't sure.

"Buddy, uh... are- are you, doing okay, over there?" She hesitated to ask. KO's ears grow into what exactly resembled her mutated form's ears. This cannot be happening...

"Fine, Tam!" he managed a thumbs up with all the changes. "I'm fine, really. I..." His situation said otherwise, the stinging feeling now progressing into bodily aches. From his shoulders, which sprouted blades from them, to his toes growing claws. He got cramps all over his frame, wanting so badly to get right back to attacking, but it just kept at it, it wouldn't stop. Even giving his darndest to make a Power Fist interfered with this. KO couldn't concentrate, this was proving to be too much for him. It was distracting to continue further. Once Darrell made sense of what was going on with KO, he shakes in fear, then letting out a high-pitched, frightened scream, hiding behind his sister. KO however, was getting more fearful than him, stammering, unable to make proper sense what was happening to him. "Aaaa, uh. Uuuhhhhh...." he moaned, looking around his surroundings. "Uuuuuuhhhh, no! Don't look at me!" He shouts, covering his face. The mutating hero couldn't bear to let anyone else witness what came next, he immediately retreats towards the bodega to hide inside, stumbling clumsily along the way.

All Tamaris could do is watch him desperately obscure himself from the public, she knew too well what that felt like. Confusion and worry was brought upon her. After what was a few seconds of the two opposing sides gazing at each other, trying to process everything, she takes it upon herself to use part of her mutant abilities and tear apart Darrell and Shannon on her own. Once she reduced them to scrap after, she runs off to the bodega in search of KO.

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Not too long after heading inside, Tamaris could only search for her child comrade in what was said to be the most mysterious, potentially perilous parts of the bodega, and that was: the back room. She ventured inside on her quest to retrieve him all the while keeping a watchful and cautious eye of potential mimics, creatures that can assume the form of virtually anything AND anyone. Being careful not to make sudden sounds, she scanned the area left and right, and with one of her mutant senses, sniffs for a scent. There has to be a sign from the boy, he could be anywhere, all miserable and in pain, Tam couldn't bear to think of what might've happened. Just by then, she finally picked up what faintly sounded like a quick, pattering noise of feet and hands, starting to follow the source of the sound in pursuit. This had to be him, she could feel it!

With a torch now on one hand, so she would see around a little better in the room and a spray bottle with the other, she ventured in more, striding in her steps where the running and skittering noises increase. Tamaris was prompted to get closer, but two mimics in the form of a levitating book and a baseball bat made sudden impact with her, letting out a grunt. Guess she'd have to ward these pests off along the way. The shapeshifting beasts gave a hiss at her while she made a growl back. It felt like a distraction with those hostile obstacles in the way, but made quick use of disposing them with tearing up the mimics with her sharp, pointed teeth and a fraction of her mutant strength to throw them against a wall as hard as she could. With that, they were out of her sight, yelping away.

Good. That takes care of that. Tamaris takes off once again as she at last reaches a corner area further in the room, and hears a shuffling sound of tail and feet, along with small grunts and yelps, clear indication that she's even closer where the noise had shifted direction, then stopped. Thank Cob, finally, the beast in human form thought to herself. Immediately, she flashed the flames' light at the squirming shape, but it quickly turned away.

"KO? It's me..." Tamaris softly called out to who was hopefully in front of her, wanting to take a peak at him. The shape barely budged. But it seemed to give it thought. Seconds later, it turned back to face where Tamaris stood. The creature in the shadows was then revealed to be none other than KO himself. But he appeared to look somewhat... different. His full attention was caught, staring at her and his surroundings wide-eyed.

"Oh. My Cob." The original mutant-shifter was, understandably, shocked at the sight. Her newest friend, with the same ailment she had, she was really dumbfounded. Only he still looked human at most, physically. But the mutant attributes were clearly there.

This was insane, she had to get a better view of him from head to toe, so she called the now currently mutated KO to meet ground level and meet up. "Hey bud," Tamaris called out. "You mind if you just come down here quick? I only wanna see how you're doing!"

KO's response was uttering a small growl, holding at his forehead with a green paw. He moved to hop from where he sat, but ended up tripping himself with his own tail. He tumbles and crashes back on solid ground in a rough landing, crying out when he made impact.

Tamaris came to his aid, holding his claw as she helped him back on his feet. "There we go, KO. You alright?" He had regained composure, shaking his head. "I guess so... I feel fine now," was his reply. At least he sounded like himself, no alterations to his voice whatsoever, so that was a good thing. He rubs at his prickly head with the same arm that begun the change, then stopped to take a look at it. "Wha?" he murmured, his clawed feet and tail then coming into view. He grew confused and curious, hoping what he saw was a mere illusion only he could see. Was it...?

"Tamaris... what happened?" Ooohhhh boy, this was a bad time to break the news. She became practically nervous, tapping her index fingers. No pretending that he got sick, took a hallucinating substance or anything. She really had to do this. Tamaris made a hesitant groan, grabbing a nearby large, wheeled, rectangular mirror. It'd be better if he saw for himself.

Well, that answered his questions and interest. In his reflection, he saw traits in himself that clearly resembled Tamaris: prehensile tail, clawed fingers and toes, spikes and blades peaking out of the skin and the like. KO jumped backwards, with a scream in fright and surprise. "I'M -- YOU!! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" he practically yelled, freaking out now. Tamaris was doing the same as him.

"Aaaaggh, I know! This is a disaster! It's my fault, I made you into what I am, I could've stopped this from happening! I should've warned you about that burrito before and got you a healthy one to have instead!" She was beating herself up so hard right now. Cob, this was awful, just awful.

KO still hollered, running around in a clockwise circle, waving his arms about frantically. After what felt like longer than a minute of being rattled at this turn of events, the mutant child hybrid at last calmed himself and slowed down for a second to meditate, breathing in and out, closing his eyes. Focus, KO. Stop and just focus... Alright, good. He finally regained composure, walking towards where Tamaris still panicked, paying mind to his tail. He rested a hand on her... leg. Not big enough to reach her shoulder, but this'll do. "Hey, hey... Tammie. It's okay... It wasn't entirely your fault."

"No, no! It was, KO. You're this thing I'm stuck with now all because of me!" Tamaris objected at this. How could he possibly have any part of this?

"Well..." KO began, folding his arms behind his back with a sheepish look. "Maybe I might've stopped first to check if the burrito looked okay to eat, then I wouldn't turn into... this."

Tamaris was rather embarrassed, probably as much as he was. "Yeah, hahahah... that had my mutagentic saliva on it. I wanted to tell you, but..."

Wait. That's how he became the scaly thing now. Oopsie whoopsies...

Her and KO both join in after the exchange with awkward laughter at their own expense, then sigh.

Tamaris, exhaled, running her fingers through her messy hair, "Ah, this is gonna suck." She had no idea how he was gonna live through this.

"I dunno," KO chimed in, taking another glance at his new appearance. "I think it won't be as terrible as it may seem. Besides, now that I'm probably gonna stuck like this for who knows how long, that won't probably stop me from what else is coming my way." A pause, blinking twice. "I hope."

His female, mutant-shifting friend shrugged, although not taking exactly what he stated sincerely.

"Ooorrrr," the hybrid thought aloud. "I'm dreaming all of this up and I'll wake up tommorrow morning less thorny and normal!" Or so he thinks. Unfortunately that wasn't to be the case. Tamaris was living in a worst case scenario she can't escape. This should be a fun experience, yes siree.

~~THE END...?~~

Well now that took longer to complete as expected huehuehuehue. Ehhhh...... 😅 Anyway that's that. I don't do written work often but this is as best as I can do! Hope y'all liked it!

[toast-the-unknowing]

HI! I wanted to say that I really love your writing and I get really excited to see notifications that you've posted new work! And I was just curious if you worked in an office of some kind, and if so how do you find the time/motivation to sit in front of the computer and write personal work. It's just something I've been struggling with myself, and I wanted to ask if you had any similar experiences. If the answer is no, then no worries :) Thanks again!

Oh, that's a tough one, Anon.

I do currently work in an office -- as An Adult I've had an array of jobs, all of them either retail or customer service or "office assistant in a field I don't care about." And I’m sure that every job has the power to take away from your creative work, just as a simple matter of resources -- time and energy spent working can't be spent writing -- but there's something extra challenging about jobs you don't like, jobs you're doing just because you have to. They take so much out of you.

Motivation is one of my personal crosses to bear. I don't have it. I consistently struggle to find the motivation to do basic life tasks. So I don't know that I have answers for you, but I definitely have sympathy.

I also have, like, so many more words than I thought, so they’re going behind a cut.

When motivation is in short supply, the stuff that has to happen or you will literally die comes first. That's okay. It gets to come first. If I put on clothing and show up for work and eat some kind of food at some point, I got through the day. That's an accomplishment. And sometimes doing that uses up all my motivation for the day. Sometimes I can't even get up that much motivation, let alone do anything else. That sucks, but it happens.

But it doesn't happen every single day.

Some days have more motivation than others. Some seconds have more motivation than others. Why can I do the thing in this one second when for weeks it's been blocked like a grayed-out option on a computer menu? I don't know. But I could. Motivation is weird like that. You never know when it will show up, so you have to give yourself opportunities.

You know your office better than I do -- is the culture "get the work done on time and we don't care what you do" or "YOU MUST PERFORM 'PERFECT EMPLOYEE' AT ALL TIMES"? What's the layout of your desk? Can people read over your shoulder? How nosy are your bosses/coworkers? How strict are the internet controls your IT department uses? How busy are you? What are your own particular psychological quirks and philosophical attitudes? What's your anxiety look like?

It may be that "work on my writing while on the clock" is not an option for you. I get that; in the time I've been an office worker, I've been all over the place, from "my own writing is what I spend the majority of my time on while I'm at work" to "I won't even touch my writing on a company computer." Right now is closer toward the latter. But, if writing at work is an option for you, now, don't lose out because your current project is saved to a .docx file on your home desktop. Make it so that if you had to, you could write under literally ANY circumstance. I carry a Chromebook with me everywhere. Before that I carried a composition notebook and a pen at all times. I know people who write fics in draft emails or the notes app on their phone.

When time and motivation are scarce, you have to build in the opportunity anywhere that you are able to. Those might not be the same opportunities that work for other people. I've heard established writers say things to newer writers like "if you don't have the time during the day, just wake up earlier," and that's so discouraging and heartbreaking for me to hear. "Wake up earlier" isn't an option for me. "Wake up on time" is barely an option for me. Getting out of bed is a bottleneck for all of my motivation issues to all run into each other at the same time. But "work on the bus" does work for me. Not every single day. Maybe one day I'm tired. Maybe the bus is really full. Maybe the person I'm sitting next to looks like my mother and that makes it weird to write about boys kissing. Maybe the one fic I really really really want to work on that day is porn, and no I'm not going to do that on the bus/at work/on my lunch break. Maybe I pull out my Chromebook and open it and look at my fic with every intention of working on it and just.....nothing happens, for forty minutes, and then I'm embarrassed and put it away. That's fine. Because if I do write something on one of those commutes or lunch breaks or "just gotta kill time" evenings even once, then it was worth it. If I give myself lots of opportunities, then even if I don't take most of them, I still get stuff done I wouldn't otherwise.

Little bits COUNT. If all you manage to write is "in this scene the characters argue" THAT COUNTS. You wrote a thing. Because the next time you write, that can become "in this scene the characters argue about money and Adam storms off". And then the next time it can be "the characters argue about money and Adam storms off and Blue says something really cutting to Gansey and Gansey is crushed." And then, and then, and then.

It sucks to write a story one tortured sentence at a time, but it can be done, and sometimes that's the only way that it does get done. Some days all I do is turn [gansey says hi] into "Hello," Gansey said, and you know what, that counts.

Sometimes when writing has been hard or impossible for me, I've done writing adjacent tasks. Maybe the motivation isn't there, right now, to get writing done. Can you daydream about something you know you'll never write in a million years? Can you spend your commute, or the time you spend watching paper feed through the scanner, or that awkward minute in the break room when your boss is getting coffee at the same time as you -- can you spend that time thinking about a Hogwarts/ABO/vampire/fake dating/rock band/Groundhog day/all-of-the-above fic that you would never write? Because daydreaming and dicking around can be very helpful for getting your brain in gear to write. And if you daydream about the story you're actually writing, or one you'd like to write, (a) you get caught up in it needing to be GOOD ENOUGH which is anathema to free wheeling fun times, and (b) you run that risk of coming up with that PERFECT bit of dialogue that you aren't able to write down and then you forget it. If you forget that really funny bit of dialogue for the Declan/Henry soulmate alien abduction shapeshifter fic you were never going to write, well, what does it matter?

I've done this before when I've been in a place where I'm not writing, and there's something about being able to say, "okay, I didn't write anything, but I came up with five different fun little stories that I can go back to, in my brain, any time I feel like it." And I've discovered things about the characters that I do then want to use in a "real" story . Maybe you will stumble across an interesting dynamic or interaction in that OT6 West Wing crossover you were never going to write, but it's worth revisiting in something you do want to write. When you're able to.

The ways of motivation are mysterious. I don't really know why it's easier to find the motivation now than it's been at other points in my life, in other fandoms. I think part of it is momentum, from accepting "okay I'll just try to do a little bit of writing" and then the little bit happens and keeps happening and becomes a big bit. There's been so many times now where my bus pulls up to my stop and I go "ugh I have to put the laptop AWAY and GO HOME why" and I just try to race home so I can sit down on the first chair I find and keep writing.

Are there some places, or times, or situations, or writing mediums, where the motivation comes a little easier? If you don't know of any can you pay attention for those? Is there any way to capitalize on that? If super boring meeting where I don't have to do anything but I'm not allowed to skip is a great time for day dreaming about your writing, is there anyway to take your lunch/a coffee break/a really long bathroom break where you hunt & peck type into your email drafts right after that?

I tried tracking my writing once, on the suggestion of a very convincing essay by an author who promised that only good things could come from meticulously noting where the writing happened and when and how many words. The result was that my word count dropped to zero. Very easy to track! Not so great for literally any other goal I had. But I've learned a lot about my process since then, not from spreadsheets and journals but just from...paying attention, and asking myself questions, and thinking back on all the thinking about writing I do, and it's become easier to make words happen. Not a guarantee, but -- easier. So I think the most helpful thing is just to give yourself opportunities, even little ones, to write or create, and then just...pay attention. To your process and your words and your motivation and your situation, and try to work within those and not against those.