#gotta share best comedy moment

[riallasheng]

Since I posted the comic link, I just wanted to share what is one of my all time favorite moments in ANY comic

Every time I read / see this, it makes me laugh out loud

So I just wanted to share

In quick set-up explination:

The Astrans (the best telekinetic tutued jellybean aliens in the verse) had a very short war with Earth at the very start of the Century 21 run. They showed up a few more times, always having fantastic stories when they did, and this was no exception

Two rebel Astran scientists managed to create a shrink ray which was used first on an Astran craft that Steve was one, and then managed to shrink basically several Astran warships.

The now shrunk Astran ships, which I always call the minifleet decides to head to the planet the scientists are on. NORMALLY this would work perfectly and the story would be about the itty bitty heroes trying to battle the scientists and work with the gear while TINY

instead...

the final panel just cracks me up every time

And THAT stops THAT invasion!!

and the way that you just have 'whatthefuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu' vibes POURING off the now trapped minifleet despite there being no dialogue

[solxamber]

Witch, Please- Floyd Leech x reader

You're the best witch to go to for getting the job done. Your potions? Absolutely foolproof. At least, that's what you thought until a certain Floyd Leech waltzed into your store.

You were the go-to witch in the entire realm, known far and wide for your incredibly potent spells and potions. When people said you were good, they meant it—your concoctions didn’t just work; they exceeded expectations. Need a luck charm to ace that impossible test? Done. Want a potion to make your ex weep every time they hear your name? Consider it finished.

Of course, this level of expertise came with a price—literally. You didn’t work for free, and you made sure your clients knew it. The other price? You were constantly sleep-deprived. Sleep? Never heard of her. But hey, that’s the life of a witch: overworked, overtired, and somehow still making better potions than anyone else in the business.

So when Floyd Leech first showed up at your door, you were only half-conscious and didn’t know that you were about to enter a whirlwind of chaos, idiocy, and—unexpectedly—romance.

It was a cloudy afternoon, and you were organizing your potions, mostly to avoid falling asleep standing up. The soothing sound of glass bottles clinking was the only thing keeping you from face-planting into the nearest pile of spellbooks. That’s when you heard it: a loud, careless banging on your door. Great, you thought. Another customer.

Opening the door revealed Floyd, towering over you with that wide, toothy grin that practically screamed trouble.

“Yo, witchy! Got a minute?” He leaned in close, invading your personal space like he was about to share some sort of grand secret.

You blinked slowly, still not fully awake. “Floyd Leech… what brings you here?”

“Need a love potion.” He said it so casually, like he was asking for a cup of coffee. “Think it’ll be hilarious!”

“Hilarious?” You frowned, crossing your arms. “Love potions aren’t exactly for pranks, you know. They can be… unpredictable.”

“That’s the point! Imagine someone gettin’ all mushy and clingy. It’ll be so funny.” He was already laughing at the thought, practically vibrating with energy.

You sighed, because of course, Floyd would think that messing with people’s emotions was peak comedy. But hey, a job’s a job. And you did like getting paid.

“Fine, but use it responsibly.” You handed him the potion, explaining the rules. “Only a few drops, and make sure they drink it. Not bathe in it, not pour it on them, just—"

“Yeah, yeah, got it!” he said, snatching the bottle before sauntering off like he hadn’t just asked you for the magical equivalent of playing with fire.

You didn’t expect to see him again so soon, but the next day, there he was. Except now he was soaking wet, as though he’d taken a dive in a river.

“I thought you’d follow instructions,” you said, eyeing the puddle forming under his feet.

“I did!” he pouted. “I poured the whole bottle on ‘em!”

You blinked. “You poured it on them? Floyd… I said they have to drink it.”

“Ohhh… well, that explains why they just got real mad and threw iced tea at me.” He shrugged, totally unconcerned.

You stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out if he was messing with you. Nope, that was just Floyd being Floyd.

“Well, at least you got iced tea,” you muttered, already pulling out ingredients to make another potion.

A week later, Floyd was back, this time bouncing into your shop with that familiar grin. You felt your eye twitch involuntarily.

“What do you need now?” you asked, mentally preparing yourself for another round of nonsense.

“Good luck charm,” he said, like it was the most normal request in the world. “I wanna win all my basketball games without even tryin’. Gotta show those scrubs how it’s done.”

You gave him a skeptical look. “I can make you a charm, but it’s not gonna turn you into some kind of invincible sports god. It’ll give you a little edge, nothing more.”

He grinned wider. “That’s all I need! Gimme your best shot.”

With a sigh, you whipped up a charm that should have been harmless. It wasn’t meant to make him superhuman—just enough to tip the scales in his favor during a game.

Three days later, Floyd came back looking like he’d been through a warzone. His hair was singed, his clothes were tattered, and he had the unmistakable stench of burnt rubber clinging to him.

“…What happened?”

“Eh, turns out bleachers don’t hold up so good when you dunk the ball too hard.” He smirked, clearly proud of himself. “Collapsed the whole thing. Coach was so mad! It was hilarious.”

You buried your face in your hands. “Floyd, I gave you a good luck charm, not a demolition spell.”

He shrugged. “Details, details.”

You couldn’t decide if you were exasperated or impressed. Maybe a little of both.

After the good luck charm incident, you figured Floyd would take a break from terrorizing you with his wild requests. Nope. A week later, he was back again.

“Need a sleep potion.”

You raised an eyebrow. “For you?”

“Nah, for someone else. They’re too high-strung. Figured I’d help ‘em out.”

You didn’t ask questions. You didn’t want to know who he was planning to knock out with a sleep potion. You just brewed it up, handed it over, and gave him a warning: “One drop. That’s all it takes. If you use too much, they’ll be out for days.”

“Got it, got it,” he waved you off, already halfway out the door.

Fast forward to three days later, and Floyd showed up at your shop with a giant bruise on his face.

“Let me guess,” you said, not even looking up from the book you were reading. “The sleep potion backfired.”

“Yup,” he grumbled. “Guess people don’t like gettin’ surprise naps.”

You couldn’t help but laugh a little. “You’re lucky you didn’t put them into a coma.”

“Nah, they woke up… eventually.”

You rolled your eyes. This was becoming a pattern, and you were starting to question your life choices.

Round 4: The Strength Spell Chaos

It was late one night when Floyd barged in again, this time asking for a strength spell. You were too tired to argue, so you whipped up something simple, thinking what could go wrong with a bit of extra strength? Famous last words.

Two days later, Floyd came back, and you could hear him laughing from down the street. He walked in, looking like he’d just won the lottery.

“What happened this time?” you asked, though you weren’t sure you wanted to know.

“Broke the hoop clean off the backboard!” He mimed the motion, still laughing. “It was awesome! Then the hoop flew into the crowd. Chaos everywhere! Best day ever.”

You stared at him, incredulous. “You… you’re not supposed to destroy the equipment, Floyd!”

“Eh, details.”

You sighed. Again. A lot.

After all the mayhem, you thought Floyd had finally gotten bored of messing with potions. You were wrong. He came back one last time, leaning casually against the doorframe with that familiar grin.

“Witchy, I need another love potion.”

You groaned internally. “Floyd, we’ve been over this. You don’t—”

“Just trust me,” he interrupted, waving a hand dismissively. “This one’s important.”

At this point, you were too exhausted to argue. You mixed up a stronger potion this time, hoping that whatever chaos he was planning would at least stay contained to… well, wherever he was taking it.

But then, as you handed it to him, Floyd did something that made your brain stop and reboot.

He took the potion, popped the cork, and—while staring straight into your eyes—poured it into your tea.

You blinked. “Floyd.”

“Yeah?”

“…What did you just do?”

He smirked. “Wanted to make sure it worked on you.”

Your brain went blank. “Wha—”

He leaned in, resting his elbows on the counter, face close to yours. “Y’know, witchy, I thought hangin’ out with you was just a fun way to kill time. But after a while, I realized I like ya. So let’s skip the whole love potion thing. It’s more fun without magic, right?”

Your jaw dropped. “Floyd, you… you could’ve just asked me out!”

He shrugged, completely nonchalant. “This was more fun.”

You stared at him, half-exasperated, half-dumbfounded. “You’re insane.”

“Yup,” he said, grinning like a shark. “But you like me anyway, don’tcha?”

You didn’t even have the energy to argue. Maybe he was right. Maybe, in some bizarre, unprecedented way, you did like him.

“Well,” you sighed, leaning back in your chair, “I guess you’re brewing the next round of tea, then.”

Floyd just laughed, and for once, you couldn’t help but smile back.

Masterlist

[roanofarcc]

LIKE THE MOVIES

pairing: trevor lefkowitz x fem!ghost reader

summary: Requested! being from the 1950s, you had missed the fad of 1990s romantic comedies. luckily you had a ghost-mate with an odd knowledge of movies and eternity on your hands. after binging countless romcoms with trevor, you’re inspired to ask him out in a very 90s fashion

warnings: self-doubt, cheesy rom-com references | read more

“If you love someone, you say it, you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise, the moment just passes you by.” - My Best Friend’s Wedding

“Can I ask you something?” On the couch, you peered at Trevor as the credit rolled over of another romantic comedy he had picked out. 

He had his arm resting on the back of the couch, close enough for you to wonder if he had wanted to put it around your shoulders during the movie. You had seen it in one of the many films he had shown you. A couple in a darkened theater, sharing a popcorn and subtle glances. Perhaps it was the films messing with your head, making you think the air between you and Trevor was filled with more than friendliness. 

“Sure,” he replied. 

“Why do you like these kinds of movies so much? Rom-coms, that’s what you called them, right?” 

Trevor smiled. “Yeah. Romantic comedies. They were everywhere in the 90s; it felt like a new one came out in theaters every week.” All of the movies he had shown you were quite good, certainly different than the films you had watched in your lifetime. “And, uh, I don’t really know. Besides them being all anyone talked about, I’ve always thought they were the best of both worlds. All that overly sappy love stuff is great, but it’s gotta be funny too, you know? I don’t know if you could tell, but I’m not a fan of stuff getting too serious.” 

You laughed lightly. “I’ve noticed.” The best of both worlds, romantic and funny. You liked that too. Your parents' relationship had been more serious, and the books you read were too sappy or sad. You liked the idea of balance, of relationships being about more than getting by or having children to make your parents happy. Of course, you knew of relationships that were so lovely, but they hadn’t found you during your life. 

“And, if I’m being honest, I always tried to copy the dudes in these movies. They always managed to score the coolest girls.” He punctuated his sentence with a short sigh and shrug. “Never worked but it was fun, pretending to be in one of those movies for a minute.” 

“I think if I had watched those movies when I was alive, I’d want to be like those girls. Like the coolest girls,” you had a slightly teasing tone in your voice, but also sincerity. There was something about the rom-com girls’ spunkiness that you admired, their boldness was something you’d never even attempted during your life. 

Trevor shook his head. “Nah, I’ve met way cooler girls since being dead. They don’t even come close.” 

“Ah,” you hummed. “Like Sam?” 

“Uh, yeah. I mean, Sam’s super cool and all. But I’m talking about someone else.” You waited for a moment for him to tell you, wondering if he meant Flower or maybe even Alberta. But after a beat of silence, he laughed. “I’m talking about you.” 

It caught you off guard, not making much sense. The women in the movies were cool, you were just, well, you. You certainly weren’t the same as when you died, changed by the ghosts and living around you for the better, but you weren’t sure if “cool” was the right word to describe you. 

“Me?” 

Trevor hesitated, looking like he had something more to say. Instead, he cleared his throat and dropped his gaze from your eyes. “Y-Yeah. Super cool.” 

Before your conversation could go anywhere else, Hetty and Issac entered the room with Sam. It was their turn with the TV, just in time for their weekly reality show watching. You and Trevor went your separate ways, an odd feeling resting like a rock in your stomach. 

Perhaps it was too bold or stupid, but you had to do something. All night you had tossed and turned, thinking about Trevor between bouts of rom-com scenes that filled your mind. Then it hit you, a plan that would either work beautifully or blow up in your face spectacularly. But you needed help, which was how you found yourself in the mansion’s study with Sam. 

“I have a plan,” you began. 

She paused her work, peering up at you with a quirked brow. “What kind of plan?” 

“I am going to tell Trevor that I like him.” The words fell boldly from your mouth, albeit a tad uneasy as you had never done something like that before. But you liked Trevor, and you felt like after weeks of watching the cheesiest movies together, maybe it was his way of telling you he liked you. You caught him stealing glances during the scenes where the main characters confessed their feelings in a bout of emotions. There was a small inkling of doubt in your mind that maybe you had read things wrong, but Sam quelled that doubt when she broke out in a wide smile and clapped her hands like one of the best friends in those movies. 

“What do you need from me?” 

It was pouring down rain, leaving puddles in the driveway and painting a scene that some would see as gloomy, but you saw it as the perfect opportunity. You stood outside, peering up at the second-story window of Trevor’s room. Sam was beside you, holding an umbrella over herself so she wouldn’t get soaked. 

She picked up a handful of pebbles before turning to you. “Ready?” You nodded and she started tossing the rocks at the window. They bounced off the glass with soft ‘tinks’ just slightly louder than the rain. 

After a couple had been thrown, Trevor appeared, wearing a confused expression. You waved him down and he didn’t hesitate to disappear from the window. 

Sam turned to you, a grin spread across her face. “Good luck!” she said before dipping back inside moments before Trevor appeared. 

“What are you doing?” he asked, glancing up at the dreary sky. 

What were you doing? You and Sam hatched a ‘plan’ but it mostly consisted of her throwing the pebbles and one of the other ghosts ensuring Trevor was in his room. She had asked you what you’d say, and you didn’t have an answer. Some kind of scripted love confession would have been handy, but that also felt inauthentic. While the movies were, in fact, scripted, they had a certain magic of making the confessions feel like a natural collection of feelings spilling out. 

“I, um…” you trailed off, but only for a moment before steeling yourself. “I wanted to talk to you.” 

He blinked, brows furrowed but lips fixed in a smile that he often wore around you. “Out here?” 

“Yes, okay,” you let out a breath before meeting his gaze. “This probably would have worked a little better if we could actually be rained on. I think that’s probably an important of this.” But you had to work with ghost logic against you. 

“Important for what?” 

Before your bravo wore out, you knew you had to speak. “I like you.” 

Trevor still looked confused. “Yeah, I like you too-” 

You cut him off with a quick shake of your head. “No, Trevor. I like you. I…” You hesitated, your confidence slipping with the heavy rainfall. Maybe that’s why people confessed in the rain, it was probably easier to hide some nerves soaked to the bone. You didn’t have that element on your side, standing dry in the middle of a rain storm. 

“Do you remember when we watched My Best Friend’s Wedding?” Trevor nodded slowly, trying to follow the message you were sending him. “And they said if you…if you love someone you should say it, otherwise-”

“Overwise, the moment just passes you by,” Trevor finished the quote in a quiet voice of remembrance and realization. 

You chuckled nervously. “I don’t just like you. I love you.” 

His mouth opened and closed once, then twice. And for one horrible moment, you thought you had completely screwed up, read the signs wrong and let the movies cloud your judgment. But then he surprised you. 

Trevor leaned forward in one rushed motion, grabbing the sides of your face gently before he closed the gap between you. It was almost a frantic kiss upon first taste, but as you leaned into it, his lips moved slowly against yours, sweet and almost too good to be your reality. 

Life wasn’t a movie, but sometimes it felt close enough to perfect that it could have been.

[multi-kpop-fanfics]

Good To Me

pairing: Wonwoo x fem!reader (brief mentions of bff!Seungkwan and housemate!Mingyu)

genre: fluff, smut, a teeny tiny bit of comedy

warnings: a lot of flirting, sexual tension, soft dom!Wonwoo, use of restraints (his hands duh), dirty talk, praise, oral sex (f rec), edging, unprotected sex (stay safe hoes), creampie, god-tier aftercare, domestic stuff in the end and a teeny tiny bit of jealous wonu 

Continuation of Good To Us 

word count: 5k

summary: After your mind-blowing night with Wonwoo and Mingyu, you leave your number behind, with the hopes the right man will find it.... and he does. What happens next....well, it exceeds your expectations.

Author’s note: gosh it took SO long to finish this, hope it will live up to the expectations!!

taglist: @delicatewerewolfsoul @aliceu @husbandhoshi @wonwoosthetic @wonw00t @akotaku98 @junsimpsquad @syzijee @flowerwonu​

nsfw taglist: @rosecult @bibinnieposts @ovai @littlemisssarcastic21​ @tinkerbell460 @jonghyuns-husband @romromthedeer @y00nzin0 @llsiriusminorisll @booyouwhore17​ 

© multi-kpop-fanfics, 2023. ​no reposting or translating without permission.

“No. Fucking. Way” your friend looks at you with a baffled expression. 

“Well… it happened” you shrug with a hint of a smile playing on your lips.

“Oh my God, I’m actually glad I never appeared in the bar”

“Seriously now, Kwan?” you narrow your eyes at him. 

“Girl, you got dick and you’re still salty over me?”

“Technically, it was two dicks-”

“That’s double the reason to not be salty!!” Seungkwan protests loudly, successfully attracting the attention of people sitting at nearby tables.

“Is it so hard for you to keep it down?!” you whisper-yell at your friend. 

“Oh, I’m sorry for not being used to my best friend getting dicked down by two men at the same time!” Seungkwan retorts and you grumble, sitting back in your chair, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

A moment of silence passes, until he breaks it.

“So….are you planning on seeing them again?” he takes a sip from the straw of his iced americano, 

“I don’t know, it was probably a one-time thing…” you twirl your thumbs together, trying to hide your face from your friend. 

“Mh-hm, yeah, a one-time thing…” Seungkwan nods with a sarcastic tone, the little voice in his head practically screaming “Y/N will get dick again!!”. You raise your head and glare at him, but he merely rolls his eyes at you. 

“Seungkwan…”

“Can you at least show me a picture of them? They gotta have an Instagram account or something”

“We just talked for a few minutes, we didn’t exchange socials” you huff and open your phone, in a futile attempt to check your socials, until a notification in your Instagram account catches your attention and makes your eyes widen in surprise.

jeon_ww has started following you.

“Um…. Kwan?”

“Yes, Y/N?”

“I think I can show you a picture of one of the guys” you scratch your cheek and he swiftly snatches the device out of your hand, leaving you speechless.

“What are you-”

“Shhh! I’m researching now, shut up” he stops you with his raised pointer, shamelessly scrolling through your own phone. 

“Mmhm, aha…..Yes, you’re definitely gonna see mister….Jeon Wonwoo soon” Seungkwan states as a matter of fact and smirks triumphantly.

 “Oh really? And how do you know that?” you reply with a mockery of his previous tone. “Apparently, he found the little piece of paper with YOUR NUMBER on it in his shared apartment” he gives you your phone back in the most dramatic way possible and your eyes scan the direct messages Wonwoo sent you:

jeon_ww: hey there :)

jeon_ww: um, i usually don’t do this with girls i’ve only met once

jeon_ww: but i found the piece of paper with your number on it and kept it, hoping it was meant for me

jeon_ww: sorry if i’m being intrusive, i just didn’t know if it was right to call you right off the bat yk?

Oh my God, why is he so fucking cute and considerate, what the fuck what the fuck what the fu-

“Heeey! I’m talking to you!” Seungkwan snaps his fingers in front of your face to get your attention. 

“Eh? What is it?”

“Oh my God, stop acting like a lovestruck fool in public, you’re embarrassing me” he blocks his sight with his hand.

“I’m not acting like a lovestruck fool!” you whine in protest. 

“Yeah, whatever”

“Will you just let me answer in peace? Thank you” you try to ignore him and return to your phone, typing out an answer.

check_yn: hi wonwoo :)

check_yn: um, well…that’s exactly why i left that note yk? so you could call me….

“Damn, pretty straightforward of you, Y/N” Seungkwan mutters and you shush him, your beverages long forgotten.

jeon_ww: i know, i’m sorry about that

jeon_ww: is it too late to make it up to you? 

check_yn: hmm depends on what you have in mind

jeon_ww: you. me. dinner. fancy restaurant.

jeon_ww: my treat ofc

“Wow that’s a gentleman right there” Seungkwan admits with a low whistle and you throw him a glare, making him shut up.

check_yn: tempting offer i must say

check_yn: can’t bring myself to refuse

“Just say you wanna jump his bones- okay fine I’ll shut up!”

jeon_ww: is that a yes?

check_yn: it most certainly is 

jeon_ww: perfect. how does saturday night at 8 sound?

check_yn: it sounds perfect to me!

jeon_ww: wonderful. i’ll see you then, pretty

You close your phone, looking at Seungkwan with a flushed face, a knowing smile resting on his face. 

--a few days ago--

“Gyu? Are you home?” Wonwoo closes the door behind him, looking around the house to check whether his friend is home. “Hm, that’s weird, he’s usually home that time”, he mutters to himself and shrugs right after, taking off his jacket and shoes. It doesn’t take him long to go into his room and change into comfier clothes, his round specs resting on the bridge of his nose. 

He passes by the kitchen, searching the fridge for anything interesting to bite on, when he notices a small piece of paper on the table in front of the couch, closing the fridge and making his way to the living room. He picks it up, making himself comfortable on the cushions, as he reads the content of the note, with a partially amused and partially surprised smile.

“It was lovely last night and the food was terrific, exactly what I needed to give me strength. Oh, and the dress is beautiful. You have excellent taste.

-y/n

p.s: here’s my number…just in case ;)”

“Would you look at that” Wonwoo licks the corner of his lips, a satisfied grin plastered on his face. His mind runs back to the night he spent with you and Mingyu, but a small pang of jealousy in his heart reminds him that he had to share you that night. 

And despite having a housemate for nearly a year, Wonwoo is actually terrible at sharing.

The familiar sound of the door lock clicking open alerts him and he shoves the piece of paper in the pocket of his sweats, just in time before Mingyu enters the house.

“Oh hey there, thought you’d return later” the younger man greets Wonwoo, the latter trying his best to act normal. 

“Oh, well, the shoot ended sooner than I thought so here I am!” Mingyu grins, “I didn’t bring food, though - Want me to whip up something quick?” he takes off his jacket and shoes, carefully setting his equipment down.

“Can’t refuse your cooking, you know that” Wonwoo laughs, “Didn’t really eat at work either, sooo”

“Hyung! I told you to not skip meals!” 

“You make it sound like I’m a kid or something, Gyu”

“You behave like one sometimes” the younger man sighs, making his way to the kitchen, preparing the necessary ingredients for a meal.

“Yeah, sure” Wonwoo scoffs and he turns around, carefully sliding the piece of paper out of his pocket, swiftly saving your number in his phone, before Mingyu notices.

“What’s that in your hand, hyung?”

Shit.

“What are you talking about?” Wonwoo tries to brush it off, but he fails miserably.

“I’m talking about the paper in your hand!” he points at said piece.

“O-Oh, this! It’s the phone number of a client, I didn’t have time to search them while I was at work, so I just scribbled down their name” he comes up with a quick lie, letting out a small huff when Mingyu nonchalantly replies, going back to cooking,

So fucking close, God, Wonwoo closes his eyes, trying to calm himself down. But at least now it’s certain he has your number and Mingyu will never see it. 

Now all he needs is to find your socials.

Wonwoo is waiting right outside the restaurant, digging his hands in his pockets to keep them warm - and somehow stop himself from fidgeting. He has checked the time on his watch at least twice within five minutes, wondering if you’ll actually show up and not ditch- No, there’s no way you’d do that, he thinks, trying to shake off any bad thoughts. 

It’s been a long time since he last went out on a proper date (that night doesn’t count obviously)

“Well, well...Who would have thought I'd actually see you again”, you chuckle when you meet Wonwoo's eyes. “Oh? I thought you left that little note for me?”, he raises his eyebrow playfully.

“I left it as a 'thank you' to the both of you. What would happen with my number was completely out of my hand” you feign innocence and a deep chuckle erupts from his chest. 

“Good thing I found it first then” he admits, “After you, my lady” he opens the door of the restaurant for you and you enter the restaurant, Wonwoo following suit.

“Good evening, sir, madam” the receptionist greets the both of you politely. 

“Hello, we have a reservation under the name Jeon Wonwoo. Table for two” he says. 

“I see it right...here. Follow me this way, please” the receptionist checks the book and you follow her to the neatly set table. “Enjoy your night” she says before leaving.

“This looks beautiful” you say, stunned as you unbutton your coat and Wonwoo's eyes fixate on your dress - the dress he bought you after that night.

“I knew you'd love this place. And I knew you'd look beautiful in this” he chuckles as soon as he takes a better look at you, “Here, lemme take this off for you” he comes behind you and slides the coat off your shoulders, pulling the chair behind you to sit down - such a gentleman.

“I wonder if it's the only thing you'll take off me tonight” you tease him with a sultry smile. He sits down, pulling his chair closer towards you, resting his elbows, the sleeves of his turtleneck rolled up, his forearms exposed.

“That depends, my dear Y/N”

“On what, sir Jeon?” you retort, purring the title and a chill runs down Wonwoo's spine, but he's too prideful to show he's affected by your words. Instead, he licks the corner of his lip, not breaking eye contact with you.

“On how much I'll make you laugh, sweetheart”

And he does. 

You swear you haven’t stopped laughing ever since you sat on the table, sharing story after story about the perks and perils of having a housemate like Mingyu (“If he wasn’t such a good cook, I would have kicked him out within the first three months”), or a friend like Seungkwan (“He reposted a story of mine once and wrote ‘Why am I still your friend’ with a rolling eyes emoji! My mom literally called me the next day and asked me if I fought with him, literally!”).

The hours pass in a blur - you don’t know when you left the restaurant, took a cab to your place (it was a quick decision - Wonwoo didn’t want to risk bumping into Mingyu this time) and entered your apartment.

The ride back home didn’t last long, but to the two of you, it felt excruciatingly slow. You were exchanging needy glances with Wonwoo, struggling to keep your hands to yourselves, resorting to just holding hands in the cab, trying to suppress your giggles and sneaky grins.

As soon as Wonwoo paid for the cab (yes, he insisted on doing so) and you closed the door behind you, his hands and lips were immediately on yours, almost pinning you to the heavy wooden door, letting out all the tension and need that had built up throughout the night.

Both of you haphazardly take off your shoes and coats, barely hanging them properly. 

“Bedroom?”

“Yes please?” you breathe out and he picks you up, carrying you all the way to the bedroom, mentally applauding yourself for cleaning up in the morning. 

Entering the room, you tap Wonwoo’s shoulders and he gets the message, gently putting you down on your feet, his gaze intense on you, the pads of his fingers tracing your shoulder blades and the straps of your dress. 

“Should I take this off from you, sweetheart?”, he tugs at the straps, patiently waiting for your answer. “Thought you’d never ask”, you grin and Wonwoo grins back, effortlessly spinning you around, his hands carefully pulling down the zipper and exposing your naked back. You sigh in content once you feel his lips pepper kisses along your shoulders and your spine, biting down on your bottom lip to not let any sound slip away.

“You don’t have to be shy with me, y’know”, he whispers in your ear, hands tracing mindless shapes on your navel, goosebumps erupting all over your skin. “You’re making it hard, y’know”, you turn around to face him, a wave of embarrassment washing over you as you realize you’re nearly naked, all while Wonwoo was fully dressed. “Really? Wanna tell me why?”, he runs his fingers from your waist, all the way up to your neck, fighting the urge to touch your chest without your permission. 

"First of all, you're fully dressed and I'm nearly naked", you state and put your hands on his covered chest, "I think we should change that". "I couldn't agree more, sweetheart, this turtleneck has never felt more suffocating before", he huffs and you're impatiently unbuckling his belt, your fingers tugging at the soft material, his own hands helping to take it off completely. 

"I know this isn't the first time I see your chest, but fuck, you're so sexy", you half moan and start pushing Wonwoo towards the bed, making him fall on the mattress softly, wasting zero time to climb in his lap and let your hands wander over his toned pecs. "Why, thank you, sweethe- oh fuck", he groans mid-sentence as he feels your tongue flatten out on his neck, licking his skin from his collarbones up to his jawline, your lips occasionally sucking on the soft flesh.

“God, aren’t you a hungry one” he hisses when you graze your teeth over his jugular, your fingers dancing over his nipples, hoping you’d take control this time, “You’re wandering on dangerous territory, baby” he lowers his tone in an attempt to put you in your place. 

“You’re right in my hands and you think I won’t grasp the chance to explore your body? Don’t be ridiculous” you chuckle but it is short-lived, as Wonwoo grips your wrists and turns you both around, your back touching the mattress within milliseconds. 

“You had your fun, baby” he traps your hands above your head, “Now it’s my turn”, he leans down and starts kissing down your neck, one hand holding your wrists in place, the other trailing from your tummy to cup your breast. 

“So fucking pretty” he breathes on your skin, his tongue darting out to lick your nipple, his lips wrapping around your bud to suck it. 

“Oh shit…”, you whine, arching your back off the bed, “Fuck, this feels so good” your eyes flutter dangerously, as Wonwoo rolls your other nipple between his fingers, just enough to inflict a barely painful, but quite pleasurable sting.

“Baby, I’m barely doing anything and you’re already so needy?” he chuckles on your skin.

“N-Not my fault your mouth feels so good” you half moan, “Can’t even think about how good you’d be at oral” and Wonwoo stops all movements at once. 

“Is that so, darling?” he looks you right in the eye, letting your wrists go, “And here I thought you had a vivid imagination”, he tuts in disapproval. 

“I was thinking about letting you show me?” you playfully ask and a cheshire cat smirk plays on his lips, wordlessly threading his fingers on your panties and sliding them down your legs.

“I’ll let you off the hook this time, since you’re being so nice tonight” Wonwoo smooths his palms over the back of your thighs, pushing them apart to reveal your quite soaked core, a barely audible groan rumbling through his chest.

“I will fucking devour you”  he dives his head between your legs, throwing them over his shoulders as he slides his tongue between your folds, all the way from your entrance to your clit, paying extra attention to it by teasing it with the tip of his tongue, sucking it playfully with his lips afterwards.

“Pull my hair if you want to, love”

“Are you trying to tell me you won’t go easy on me?”

“I think I was clear enough when I said I’ll fucking devour you” Wonwoo chuckles, resuming his ritual on your pussy, a bit more eager than before, judging from the way you’re moaning and arching your back off the mattress. His hands are caressing your skin, making their way towards your chest, a whine escaping your mouth when they reach your breasts, his fingers toying with your nipples.

“W-Wonu, shit…” you mewl his name, your hand creeping onto the base of his hair, starting to tug at the soft locks when your lover dips his tongue in your entrance, fucking it greedily as his hands squeeze your tits, the bridge of his nose gliding against your clit. 

“Do you want me to make you cum, love?” Wonwoo purrs against your pussy, hands reaching down to hold your waist. You look down between your legs, your pussy gushing when you see his messed up hair, lips, nose and chin covered in your slick.

“Please, Wonwoo, please!” you beg him, hips almost bucking in his face, but he pins you down, lifting himself and wiping his face with his forearm.

“I will. But I’d rather do it with my cock” he grins, discarding his pants and boxers, cock painfully hard and heavy in his hand.

“Then do it already!” you whine, almost thrashing on the bed.

“Condom?”

“Fuck me raw, Woo, I’m clean”

“As you wish, love” he bends down, softly kissing you before aligning his tip with your entrance, slowly pushing in, without wanting to hurt you. 

The stretch isn’t unfamiliar, but there is an initial sting - your pussy feels so full, full of Wonwoo’s cock, your mind spinning from arousal. He knows it’s a bit uncomfortable, but he gives you the time you need to accommodate to his size - all while trying to distract you with kisses all over your neck and jaw, his hands holding your waist and back tenderly.

“When you’re ready to move, tell me” Wonwoo whispers in your ear.

“Please move, Wonu, I need you to move” you plead and he nods, raking his hands on yours, keeping them trapped beside your head, swiftly rolling his hips between your legs. The first few thrusts have that dull sting, but that sting molds into mind numbing pleasure, your walls stretched out and hugging his shaft perfectly.

“God, you feel so perfect around me, fuck” Wonwoo moans in your ear, his thrusts unfaltering and powerful, his toned body pressed against yours, feeling every single curve of his chiseled torso on you.

“You’re so damn good at t-this, fucking me so well” you mirror his moans, fingers threading with his, nails starting to dig on the skin of his hands.

“If you keep gripping me like that, I won’t last long, Y/N” 

“Who says that’s a problem?”

“Do you want me to embarrass myself with just one round or you’re craving my cum that much?” he raises his brow teasingly, jutting his hips a bit more forcefully this time, eliciting a louder moan from you, effectively hitting that sweet spot inside you.

“You caught me - I want you to fill me up to the brim, baby” you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him even closer to you.

“Your wish is my command, sweetheart” Wonwoo smirks and straightens up, letting your hands and gripping your waist, kneeling on the mattress to lift your hips, just enough to hit deeper than before. He pulls out until it’s just the tip is in you and plows back in your cunt, using the grip on your waist as leverage to fuck you harder.

The way he’s fucking you now reminds you of how he fucked you that night with Mingyu - but it’s way more intimate now, it’s only him now.

You’re about to open your mouth, but everything goes blank, your body starts convulsing, pussy clenching violently around Wonwoo’s cock, squeezing him tight and cumming hard around him.

“Oh fuck, f-fuck!” he keels over you, fisting the pillow behind your head as he delivers a few strong thrusts, cumming a few seconds later, filling you up with his warm cum to the brim. 

You’re still shaking underneath him, your hands gripping his back, raking your nails on him while trying your best to calm down from your intense orgasm. Wonwoo is kissing your cheeks to help you relax, remaining inside you until he’s soft enough to slip out of you. 

“I’ll be back in a few, love, don’t move, I’ll clean you up, I promise” he mutters in your ear, petting your hair and you nod, letting him get up.

He returns to the room a few minutes later, with a glass full of water and a towel.

“Here, drink this” he hands you the glass and you down it in one go, almost dropping it with a yelp when you feel the warm towel swipe away the remnants of your orgasm and Wonwoo’s cum dripping from your hole.

“Hey, give me a warning before doing stuff!” you slap his shoulder, “You’re so lucky I drank all of the water”

“Or else?”

“Or else I would have splashed it on you” you grumble. 

“Ooh, so scary” he mocks you with a giggle and he laughs even harder when you cross your arms in front of your chest, a pout resting on your lips. 

“Will you let me clean you up properly now?” he asks with a sweet tone and you relax your body, letting him do as he said. 

“You’re being way too good to me” you speak up, wincing ever so slightly when the towel touches the more sensitive parts of your body. 

“Why wouldn’t I be good to you?” Wonwoo raises his brow in question.

“I don’t know, it’s not like everyone does the whole aftercare thing when sex ends” you state, scratching your cheek.

“Well, I’m not like everyone else, sweetheart” he replies with a serious tone.

“So you do this to every single woman you sleep with?” you try to tease him, but he’s having none of it. 

“I used to. But I haven’t done it in a long time - Not because I lost my decency, though”

“Then why did you stop?” you ask him as he finishes up with cleaning your body. 

“Because it’s been a long time since I last slept with someone” he admits, looking you straight in the eye. 

“Oh” you simply reply, “Well, I….I didn’t see that coming” you drop the teasing tone and opt to curl your arms around your knees out of embarrassment. 

“Hey, hey” Wonwoo gently stretches your legs again, “It’s okay, you didn’t make me uncomfortable or anything” he rubs your skin soothingly, laying next to you.

 “Um, well, if you say so” you lay your head on his chest, his arms wrapping around your torso.

A beat of silence passes.

“Hey, Wonwoo?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Are you awake?”

“Since I’m replying to you, I think I am” he chuckles and you roll your eyes at his reaction, “I suppose you wanna talk?” he asks you this time. 

“Do you mind?” you shift in his arms, your hand mindlessly caressing Wonwoo’s arm and he turns his head towards you, smiling softly. 

“We were talking all night long, why would I want to stop now?”

“Okay then” you exhale and Wonwoo lets out a breathy laugh. 

“Why are you laughing?!”

“It’s really funny and baffling at the same time”

“What exactly?”

“You’re so shy right now, despite being so talkative and cheeky all night….It’s kinda cute”

“S-Shut up…”

“Oh? But I thought you wanted me to talk to you?” he cheekily retorts and you whine, hiding your face behind your hands. 

He then shifts under the sheets, his hands gently grasping your wrists and pulling them away, revealing your face again. “Hey there”, he smiles at you and you snort, letting out a very awkward yet loud laugh you were holding back the past minutes. “There you go”, Wonwoo states in a very loving manner and you suddenly stop, cheeks heating up when your eyes stare directly into his, realizing the amount of intimacy this moment holds.

“Is it a really bad moment to say that I like that side of yours better?” you mutter under your breath. 

“What do you mean?” Wonwoo looks at you with a bewildered expression, “I’m genuinely curious”

“Last time we met, you were more…. how do I put this…”

“Rough?” you search for the right words, but he completes the sentence for you instead. 

“Well….yeah, pretty much. Not that I didn’t like it or something - on the contrary,  I absolutely loved it and you were hot as fuck when you did that thing to Mingyu-”

“Y/N, you’re rambling again”

“Oh” you realize and stop, metally cursing at yourself for getting carried away. Again.

“It’s okay though. And I get what you mean” Wonwoo supports his body on his forearms, trying not to press his entire weight on you, “Let’s say it’s my way of….asserting dominance” he admits.

“I see….So you wanted to put your friend in his place and show him who’s the boss?” you rest your arms on his shoulders, a teasing lilt in your voice. 

“Exactly. Aren’t you a smart one, huh?” a smug smirk resting on his handsome face. 

“Do I sense a jealous streak here, mister Jeon?”

“Honey, let’s be real here - as much as I love my best friend, he wouldn’t be able to give you what you really want” he lowers his head towards your lips, merely a breath away from yours. Your heart is racing like an F1 car approaching the finishing line, ready to take the first place - but the car is your lips and Wonwoo’s are the prize.

Except he crooks his neck to the side and he kisses the corner of your lips, shifting to his side and wrapping his arm around your midriff, pulling you flush to his chest.

“Go to sleep, baby”.

You sleepily stretch your arm on the mattress, hoping it would fall on Wonwoo’s body, but it ends up falling flat on the side that was supposed to be filled with said man, only to find it completely empty. You swish your hand around for a second and turn your body around to confirm with your own eyes that Wonwoo is indeed gone.

Shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up, you think and sigh in disappointment and get out of the bed, searching in your closet for something comfy to wear, settling with your favorite blue hoodie, not bothering to wear pants underneath - since you’re home alone.

Except you never saw Wonwoo’s turtleneck hanging on the edge of the bed and you’re caught by surprise when you walk into the kitchen and see the man himself brewing morning coffee, with two mugs resting on the counter. And he’s shirtless. With lots of scratch marks on his back. And you’re standing like a deer caught in headlights because five seconds ago you were mentally calling him an asshole for leaving your bed and supposedly your house-

“How long have you been standing there?” Wonwoo asks you with his back still facing you and your trail of thoughts is cut short. 

“How did you know I was here?” you ask back and make your way to the counter, sitting down with a low hiss. 

“I could smell your perfume - it’s hard to miss it, you know” he turns around and briefly looks at your (incomplete attire) before passing you the mug. 

“Did you just...check me out?” you narrow your eyes at him with a small smirk.

“As if your eyes weren’t glued on my back when you walked into the kitchen” Wonwoo retorts and the tips of your ears turn red. 

“I’m sorry for not expecting you to be here!”

“Why wouldn’t I be here?” he raises his eyebrow and you take a sip of the coffee, trying to think of a good answer.

“Y/N, I’m not the type of guy who fucks and disappears the morning after” he adds before you’re about to reply. 

“I know, you said that last night too” you remind him and he drinks a bit of his coffee, a small smile playing on his lips. 

“I’m surprised you do”

“I’m a very attentive listener, Wonwoo”

“I’m not doubting your hearing skills, sweetheart”

“Then what?”

“I’m surprised you’re able to remember anything after how loud you were last night” he chuckles and you swat your bare leg at his thigh.

“Now you sound like Mingyu” you roll your eyes and Wonwoo grabs your leg, bringing you closer to him and he lifts you from your chair, placing you to his lap.

“Tell me, Y/N - was it Mingyu who made you laugh so much last night?” he asks with a raised eyebrow. 

“Hmm, let me think...Nope” you tease him and he smirks, leaning under your jaw, lips barely ghosting your skin. 

“Was it Mingyu who made you moan until you couldn’t think straight?” he rubs your thighs.

“Wonwoo...” you breathe out and let out an airy moan when you feel him suck that sensitive spot on your neck.

“I’m still waiting for an answer, sweetheart~”

“Shut up, it was all you” you whine in his lap and he laughs

“You’re so damn cute, Y/N” he presses a soft kiss on your cheek and you wrap your hands around his torso, pressing your palms on his back and he groans lightly. 

“Careful, sweetheart, they’re still fresh” 

“Sorry” you mutter with an embarrassed smile. 

“Don’t be”

“But-” he shuts you up with a kiss and you can feel him smiling.

“Drink your coffee, it’ll go cold.”

[giveafike]

Snow Much Fun! -B.T.S

TLDR: snow... in ... Florida...! This is part 5/12 of Azzie's Advent Calendar 2024!

Word count + info: 4k. ON THE DOT! im so proud + including dialogue.

Warnings + Content Ahead: SFW! No warnings : )

Azzie Notes ✚: listen... before you correct me and get all factual w me...be open minded... I KNOW IT DOESN'T SNOW IN FLORIDA...but it has before, so who says it can't happen in your imagination? THIS IS AN AU. LET ME DREAM, BELIEVE IN CHRISTMAS MAGIC. God forbid a girl likes to imagine and have fun. do u hate fun? whimsy? And if you can't get behind this teensy bit of snow then I fear for the next part.... erm anyways enjoy...

————————————————————————

The days blended together in that warm, comforting way only the holidays could bring. You and Ben found yourselves curled up on the couch with his family, the quiet hum of togetherness filling the living room. The TV flickered with a lighthearted comedy, paused mid-opening scene as everyone got settled. The selection wasn’t a Christmas movie, though Lisa had made her thoughts on that very clear earlier.

“Y’all know it’s December, right?” she teased as she settled into her favourite armchair, her hands curled around a mug of something steaming and fragrant. “We’ve got, what, two weeks left to make the most of Christmas movies? And this is what we’re watchin’?”

Bryan chuckled, patting her knee affectionately. “Let ‘em enjoy themselves, Lis. They’ll get to the holiday classics soon enough.”

Lisa let out a mock huff, shifting in her chair to settle in more comfortably. “If I don’t see at least one Santa before the weekend, I’m gonna start taking hostages,” she muttered, though the smile tugging at her lips softened the threat.

Ben chuckled before he nudged you gently before standing. “Hang tight. Gonna grab somethin’, ” he said, pressing a quick kiss to your temple as he walked out of the room.

“Where’s he off to?” Emma asked as she petted Halo while Alex lifted his head up from the phone in his hand, arching a brow as his eyes fell on the paused TV screen.

“Kitchen, I bet,” Bryan said, settling further into his seat. “He’s like a kid. Can’t sit through a movie without snacks.”

Moments later, Ben reappeared in the doorway, a triumphant grin tugging at his lips, and a gingerbread cookie sticking out from between them like a makeshift cigar. His hands were full, one balancing a plate piled high with the rest of the leftover cookies and the other holding a heavy metal water bottle.

“Look what I got,” he mumbled around the cookie, his words muffled but still carrying that signature playful tone as he nodded toward the plate.

Bryan folded his arms, shaking his head with a smile. “You couldn’t wait two seconds to eat one?”

Ben shrugged dramatically, biting the cookie to free his hands before setting the plate down on the coffee table. “Couldn’t let the guy go to waste,” he said, flashing the half-eaten now decapitated gingerbread man with a lopsided smile.

Lisa rolled her eyes, but there was a fondness in her expression. “At least share before you eat them all yourself.”

“They’re for everyone!” Ben promised in a whine, nudging the plate a little closer to the middle of the table. “But y’all gotta admit, they’re best when I bring ‘em.”

“Sure, Ben,” Emma mumbled sarcastically as she pressed play on the movie from the other end of the couch.

Ignoring her, Ben turned to you with a flourish, pulling a throw blanket from the back of the couch. He gave it a playful snap before draping it over both of you, his movements exaggerated for effect.

“There,” he declared, tucking the edges around your legs. “Cozy enough for ya?”

“Very,” you replied, laughing softly as he flopped down beside you, his arm immediately finding its place around your shoulders.

He leaned into your face, close enough that you could smell the faint scent of ginger and sugar on his breath. With a quiet smile, he pressed a soft, lingering kiss to your lips, holding the two of you there for a few seconds, just enough to make your chest tighten pleasantly before pulling back.

“That’s for makin’ these with me,” he murmured, the words low and warm.

Your cheeks heated as you pressed beside him, letting his solid warmth settle against your side. The movie continued on as you all watched, Lisa's earlier mock protests forgotten, but your attention stayed fixed on Ben for a few moments longer. He rested his head in the crook of your neck, his curls tickling your jawline. Without thinking, your fingers slipped into his hair, toying with the soft strands and scratching gently at his scalp, your attention never leaving the screen. The soft, brown spirals swirled around your fingers looping and intertwining, almost as though they were holding onto your fingers each time you went in to massage them. The quiet hum he let out made your stomach flip, his whole body relaxing even more against yours.

“Keep that up and I’m gonna fall asleep,” he murmured, his words barely audible over the dialogue on the screen.

“That a bad thing?” you teased, continuing the slow, soothing motion.

He didn’t reply just hummed again, his breathing slowing as he melted further into your touch. The warmth of the blanket, the faint scent of gingerbread, and the flickering glow of the Christmas tree lights made everything feel impossibly soft and still.

After a while, Ben stirred, sitting up slightly. You thought he might reach for another cookie, but instead, he turned to you. His gaze was gentle as he leaned down, pressing a string of soft kisses to your hairline, trailing down to your temple and cheek.

“Love you,” he murmured, featherlight against your skin.

You turned to meet his eyes, your voice just as soft. “Love you too, Benny.”

His smile was slow and easy as he settled back into the couch, pulling you even closer beneath the blanket. The movie continued, laughter bubbling up occasionally from his family, but the way you held each other made the rest of the world blur into the background. Across from you, Emma was sprawled out with Alex, both of them clearly more interested in whispering to each other than paying attention to the screen.

The living room was warm, lit softly by the glow of the Christmas tree. The angel ornament you and Ben had picked out at the market was hung proudly near the centre, its golden and silver flecks catching the light. It cast delicate patterns on the walls and floor, moving gently as the branches swayed ever so slightly.

Lisa noticed it too, her eyes lingering on the ornament. “That angel looks just beautiful up there,” she said softly, nudging Bryan. “Did you notice it earlier?”

He nodded, smiling. “I did. Real nice pick, y’all.”

“It’s from the market,” Ben said, his voice low and lazy. He didn’t bother lifting his head from where it rested against yours, but there was a quiet pride in his tone. “We thought it fit.”

“It’s perfect,” Lisa agreed, her gaze warm as it swept between you and Ben.

You smiled at her, then tilted your head back to look up at Ben. “Guess we’ve officially contributed to the family tree.”

Ben smirked, his eyes half-lidded with that relaxed ease he only seemed to show when he was home. “Next time, we’ll bring somethin’ even better. Like a big ol' handpainted bauble. That counts, right?”

“Sure,” you replied with a soft laugh, earning a grin from him.

From the other end of the couch, Emma let out a dramatic sigh. “Okay, but why are y’all so cute? It’s nauseating.”

“Jealousy doesn’t suit you, Em,” Ben shot back, earning a pillow being thrown at Ben by his sister.

“Watch it,” she warned, though her tone was playful.

“Alright, enough,” Bryan interrupted, his voice holding the kind of fond exasperation only a father could pull off. “Y’all are worse than the kids in this movie.”

Emma rolled her eyes but leaned into Alex, clearly content.

For a moment, the room was quiet again, the hum of the movie filling the space. Bryan and Lisa exchanged a look, one of those quiet, knowing glances that seemed to say look at this, this is what we built. You caught it out of the corner of your eye and couldn’t help but smile, feeling a little grateful and honoured to be part of this small, happy scene.

Ben must’ve noticed too, because he gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze. “You good?” he murmured, his voice barely audible over the TV.

“Perfect,” you whispered back, snuggling into him a little more.

And there you stayed, wrapped in warmth and familiarity, the angel casting its soft glow over the room. The movie might not have been a Christmas classic, but the moment was simple, cozy, and filled with quiet love. It felt more festive than anything scripted.

Midway through the movie, Bryan leaned forward in his seat, his brow furrowing as he squinted toward the window. The movement drew everyone’s attention, and Lisa raised an eyebrow.

“Bryan, what’s the matter?” she asked, her voice soft but curious.

“Is it snowin’ outside?” Bryan asked, squinting as if he could see through the blinds.

Emma snorted, her disbelief immediate. “Dad, c’mon. No way. It’s Florida. Snow?”

Alex chimed in, shaking his head. “Yeah, no shot. You’d sooner see gators tugging Santa's sleigh along the street than snow falling here.”

But Ben, with that trademark half-smirk, leaned forward slightly, his arm still slung lazily around you. “It might be,” he drawled, his Gainesville accent thick with teasing scepticism. “Y’know, hasn’t snowed here in years, but it’s cold enough tonight. Could be somethin’ out there.”

His words sparked a ripple of curiosity. Emma groaned dramatically but leaned forward on the couch anyway, craning her neck to peer toward the window. “There better not be snow,” she grumbled, “I’m not built for that.”

You couldn’t help but bite your lip in excitement, feeling that childhood giddiness bubble up inside of you. You try to hide it but glance over too, the soft glow of the tree lights spilling across your face as you shift. From where you sat, you caught the faintest movement outside. A soft, almost magical swirl danced in the light of the streetlamps, the flakes subtle but unmistakable.

“Oh my gosh,” you whispered, your eyes widening. “It really is snowing.”

Emma gasped beside you, her earlier scepticism melting into childlike awe as she broke into a smile. “Wait, what? No way.”

The two of you scrambled to the window, pulling the curtain fully aside to get a better look. Outside, the streetlights illuminated a delicate flurry of snowflakes drifting down onto the quiet street. Across the way, the Christmas lights strung on the neighbouring houses seemed to sparkle even brighter, their colours reflecting off the thin layer of frost dusting the lawns and rooftops.

“Wow, would you look at that,” Lisa murmured, her voice filled with wonder as she stood up and joined you.

“It’s not a blizzard or anything,” Bryan remarked, standing now, hands on his hips. “But I’ll be darned, it’s snow all right.”

Ben chuckled behind you, staying where he was on the couch but watching you from his perch. “Told y’all it might be somethin’. Y’all never listen to me.”

You turned to him, your cheeks still flushed with the excitement of the unexpected sight. “When do we ever listen to you?” you teased, making him laugh.

“Fair point,” he admitted, patting the spot beside him. “But it’s too cold to stand there by the window gawkin’. Get back over here.”

With one last glance outside, you and Emma let the curtain fall back into place and returned to the couch, settling easily against Ben’s side. His arm found its familiar spot around your shoulders, pulling you close as you curled into his warmth as his strong hand rubbed your arm up and down.

“Snow in Florida,” you murmured, more to yourself than anyone. “It feels… kind of magical, right?”

Ben looked down at you, his smirk softening into something sweeter. “Maybe it’s a sign. Christmas miracles and all that,” he said with a wink.

You rolled your eyes but smiled anyway, pressing your cheek against his chest and letting the steady thrum of his heartbeat lull you back into the comfort of the evening. Outside, the snow continued to fall, a rare and fleeting wonder that made the cozy warmth of the house feel all the more special.

The movie carried on, but the mood had shifted just slightly. Lisa leaned closer to Bryan, who had draped an arm around her shoulder. Emma and Alex sat side by side, whispering and laughing, their earlier disbelief gone as they marvelled at the snowfall. For you and Ben, the magic wasn’t just outside in the snow or inside the house. It was in the quiet, unspoken connection between you, a warmth that had nothing to do with the blankets or the tree lights. And for now, that was enough.

As the movie carried on to the last scenes, Ben got up to grab a drink from the kitchen. You were mid-sentence, pointing out a plot hole, when his voice rang out, loud and filled with shock.

“Goddamn, the snow stuck!” he exclaimed, his voice high-pitched and bursting with excitement as he came running back to the living room, almost falling over several times.

“What?” Emma shot up from her spot, nearly knocking over the popcorn bowl. “You’re lying!”

“Nah, I’m dead serious! Y’all gotta see this!” Ben called, his voice laced with genuine wonder.

Emma bolted for the front door, you and Alex following close behind, too frantic to even think of how the potential "in-laws" might view you. Pulling the door wide open, you gasped.

There it was, a light layer of snow blanketing the yard, the driveway, and even the street. It wasn’t much, but in Florida, even a thin coating like this was monumental.

“Dad!” Emma spun around, practically vibrating with excitement. “Can we go outside? Please?”

Ben poked his head around the corner from the kitchen, already grinning. “Yeah, c’mon, let us have a little fun! It’s not like this happens every year.”

Bryan looked up from his reclined position, still sat as he arched a brow. He looked at Lisa who stifled a laugh but nodded to the group of you, smiling.

“Y’all act like you’re kids again. But sure, go ahead. Just, wrap up. I don’t want anyone catchin’ a cold or somethin' worse.”

“Yesss!” Ben and Emma cheered simultaneously, already scrambling for jackets and hats, throwing spare ones at you and Ale.

Lisa sighed, though the smile on her face gave her away. “Alright, alright. But bundle up, all of you! Scarves, gloves, the whole thing!”

The house turned into a flurry of motion as everyone raced to grab layers. You hurried to slip on one of Ben's jackets while Ben tugged a knit cap over his curls, half-singing, “We’re goin’ on an adventure!”

Alex grumbled good-naturedly about the chaos but joined in, pulling on mismatched gloves. Emma was the first out the door, her shoes only half on, as she let out a delighted squeal.

The cold air hit your face the moment you stepped outside, but it was worth it. The snow wasn’t deep, just a soft, powdery layer barely clinging to the ground, but it was enough to transform the neighbourhood into a winter wonderland. The Christmas lights strung across the houses glowed even brighter against the dark sky and white snow, while neighbours had begun to step outside, just as awestruck as you were.

“Y’all look at this!” Ben exclaimed, crouching down to scoop up a handful of snow. He grinned, forming a loose snowball. “This is, like, real snow. Not just that slush stuff.”

You barely had time to admire it before Alex sneaked up behind Emma and sent a snowball flying, hitting her square in the back.

“Alex!” Emma spun around, eyes wide with mock outrage. “Oh, you are so dead!” She retaliated with a snowball of her own, smacking him right on the chest.

Ben laughed, clearly loving the commotion, and quickly joined in. His first target? Emma. The snowball hit her shoulder, sending a puff of white into her hair.

“Seriously?” she cried, but she was already giggling as she crouched down to scoop more snow.

“Nothing personal, Em!” Ben called, grinning like a kid. “Been waitin' to do that.”

“Oh, you think this is funny?” Emma lobbed her snowball in his direction, missing him by inches.

Meanwhile, you tried to keep a low profile, standing off to the side, admiring your footprints in the snow, hoping to avoid the crossfire. But Ben wasn’t about to let that slide.

“No hiding!” he declared, turning his playful grin on you. In one smooth motion, he launched a snowball at your leg.

“Ben!” you yelped, laughing as the cold snow splattered against you.

“That’s what you get for standing still!” he teased, already preparing another.

The battle escalated quickly. Alex doubled down on attacking Emma, who alternated between shrieking and laughing as she hurled snowballs back at him. Ben, meanwhile, seemed intent on taking both you and Emma out at the same time, his snowballs flying fast and wildly.

“You’re the worst!” Emma shrieked after a snowball hit her square on the nose, making her freeze. She stood there for a moment, eyes closed, her mouth slightly open in shock as snow dripped down her face.

Ben doubled over laughing. “Oh man, that was perfect!”

“Not funny.” she shot back, though the corners of her mouth twitched.

Before you could react, one of Ben’s snowballs struck you on the cheek, cold and wet as it splattered across your skin.

You stood there for a second, stunned, your hand flying to your face. “Alright, that’s it.”

Emma’s head whipped toward you, her eyes blazing with determination. “You in?”

“Oh, I’m in,” you replied, already scooping up snow.

The two of you turned your full attention on Ben, who immediately held his hands up in mock surrender. “Wait, wait, wait-!”

“Get him!” Emma yelled, launching a snowball that caught him on the arm.

You followed suit, hitting him square in the chest. Ben tried to dodge, laughing as he scrambled to pack more snowballs.

“No fair!” he called out, ducking behind a tree for cover.

“You started it!” you shouted, hitting the tree trunk just inches from his head.

The battle raged on, snow flying in every direction as you and Emma teamed up against Ben. Alex tried to join forces with him, but Emma caught him with a perfectly aimed throw that made him rethink his allegiance.

Kids from the neighbouring houses stood on their porches, laughing and cheering as the four of you chased each other through the snow. By the time the energy started to wane, your cheeks ached from laughing, your gloves were soaked, and snow clung to your hair and coat.

Panting and grinning, you all collapsed onto the snowy ground, the fight finally giving way to exhaustion. Your breath puffed out in small clouds, and for a moment, all you could hear was the sound of your own laughter mingling with the others.

“Alright, y’all,” Bryan’s voice called from the doorway, carrying that fatherly mix of amusement and authority. “That’s enough before somebody ends up with frostbite or a trip to the ER. And I'm not the one drivin' in this weather.”

None of you made a move to get up. Instead, Emma let out a deep sigh and spread her arms and legs out wide.

“Snow angels it is,” she declared, sweeping them back and forth to carve her shape into the untouched white blanket beneath her.

Ben, not to be outdone, flopped onto his back beside her, his long arms stretching as he exaggerated the motion. “Mine’s gonna look like a Wimbledon champion,” he said with a cocky grin.

“More like a giant goofball,” you teased, lying down on his other side to start your own angel.

Alex joined in without a word, still heaving as his movements were slower but no less deliberate. Soon, the four of you had carved a small lineup of snow angels, their winged silhouettes stretching across the yard.

Emma propped herself up on her elbows, inspecting the work. “We gotta sign ‘em,” she said, using her gloved finger to carve an “E” near the feet of her angel.

“Good idea,” Ben said, carving his “B” with a flourish at the bottom of his. “Now everyone knows who made the best one.”

“Debatable,” you muttered, finishing your own initial with a satisfied nod.

Alex added his “A” silently, glancing up with a small smirk as Emma leaned over to nudge him.

As you all sat up, the sound of laughter caught your attention. The last group of neighbourhood kids was a few yards away, rolling snow into giant mounds to form the base of a snowman while the rest of the street stayed dormant, the night slowly creeping up.

Ben squinted at them, then turned to you, his grin mischievous. “Think we could do better?”

“Oh, absolutely,” you replied, already on your feet.

The four of you got to work, scooping and packing snow as quickly as your soaked, frozen fingers would allow. The snowman started small, a modest figure compared to the heavy one the kids were making. Ben insisted on adding his own flair, giving it a crooked smile made of pine needles and twigs for arms that looked like they were mid-dance.

Emma stepped back to admire the work. “He looks like he’s auditioning for a Christmas musical.”

“Better than a boring ol’ snowman,” Ben said, adding a tiny snowball hat to the top of its head.

You knelt down to smooth out its base, adding a scarf you’d borrowed from Emma’s collection to give it a finishing touch.

The kids nearby noticed your creation and waved, their giggles carrying through the crisp air. One of them called out, “Yours looks funny!”

“You look funny,” Ben shouted back, laughing as he threw his arm over your shoulders.

"No need to be fighting kids, Ben" Emma warned as she stopped herself mid-giggle.

"They started it!" Alex chirped in, whining.

When the snowman was finished, the four of you stood back to admire it, your cheeks rosy from the cold and exertion. The little snowman was lopsided but charming, a perfect reflection of the fun that had gone into making it.

“Alright,” Bryan called again from the porch, shaking his head as he watched you all. “Seriously, now. Get in here before Lisa makes me come out there to drag y’all back myself.”

Ben turned to you with a grin. “Guess we better listen before we end up grounded.”

You laughed, brushing snow off your coat as the group headed back inside. The kids were still laughing, the little snowman standing proudly in the yard as a reminder of your impromptu snow day antics.

You all trudged back into the house, your shoes squeaking against the hardwood floors. Your hair was wet, your noses red from the cold, and your hands wrinkled and stiff. Ben rubbed his hands together, blowing on them dramatically.

“Y’all are somethin’ else,” she said, though her smile betrayed her amusement.

“My fingers are gonna fall off,” Emma complained.

Lisa and Bryan were quick to hand out towels, ushering everyone toward the warmth of the fireplace. Lisa had already turned up the heat, and the fire crackled invitingly as you all crowded around it, towels draped over your shoulders.

“Alright,” Lisa announced, hands on her hips. “Y’all had your fun. Now warm up and get yourselves to bed. It’s late.”

Ben leaned down, brushing a quick kiss against your snow-damp, tinted cheek.

“You fight dirty,” he murmured, the warmth of his voice contrasting with the lingering chill of the snow.

You smirked, nudging him lightly. “Learned it from the best.”

You exchanged a glance with Ben, the two of you grinning despite your exhaustion. It had been a fleeting moment of winter wonder, but it was one you’d never forget. As you curled up in bed later, trying to warm up, you were still laughing about your lopsided snowman, you couldn’t help but think that even the smallest miracles could bring the greatest joy. This was the kind of moment that made the holidays magic not just the cookies or the lights, but the love threaded through it all.

[pygmi-says-hi]

Hi! I wanted to ask some pointers on humour writing, as well as *ahem* angst/injury writing. I'm writing a story where the very beginning will have some descriptions of a serious injury. After that, it will turn to humour. I KNOW you already did one about blood loss so if there's nothing more to add, you can ignore the injury part of this lol. (Still would love angst pointers)

Anyways, thanks so much! You're amazing for giving these tips!

OH! additionally, advice for emotional writing? I'm currently writing a story where a couple end up breaking up, later becoming friends. I am struggling writing the emotional phone calls and things.

Again, thanks so much!

hello!

SO this is long so there'll be a divider in the middle. I'll do the humor/injury part and then the second bit.

humor

so you think ur a comedian, eh? Humor is really hard to write and I'm gonna be honest, it's something you just gotta roll with. Not everybody has the same sense of humor. Not everybody is gonna pick up on the humor you are trying to write. It's just a fact. That being said, when you consider the intelligibility of your writing, you don't wanna think about that too much.

Like most of my posts, for example. I'm pretty sardonic and affectionately aggressive, which is kind of a theme on tumblr, so most people understand it. If you read the comment section however, you can also pick out the people who just have no fucking clue what's going on.

that's gonna happen! it's fine.

When you are thinking about the kind of humor you want to put in your story, think about the role you want it to play. Are you writing an honest to God, Jim Carrey slapstick or is the comedy a vessel for something more poignant? either is a good choice, but each has its own pointers.

when you are writing in the humor, the biggest guiding point I can say is 'does it make sense?' the audience might not share the sense of humor, but as long as they can clue into the subtext and still follow the story, that's what matters. Otherwise nobody will be able to follow it.

The humor also needs to make sense for the kind of story. Unless you are intentionally playing with social stereotypes, frat boy jokes don't make sense in a dramatic romance. Just like sarcastic 'tumblr' humor won't make sense in a victorian era, even if your main character is quirky.

At the end of the day, it's your story. Whatever makes sense, still pulls off the funny bits, and tells the story is a-okay.

major injury

yes i already did a post but it's okay! I've actually muted the notifications on that one because oh my god.

I digress.

angsty injuries are great because it's a good time for some poetry. I like describing open wounds like moldy fruit because they both smell bad, squish if you step on them, and the bloody pulpy stuff kinda looks like raspberry jam. Or pomegranates! describing it like a pomegranate is actually symbolic because of the association with death.

wow that was graphic.

well anyway, describing injuries that are angsty is best with prose and a lot of really sentimental moments. I also did a post on my other acct @pygmi-cygni that I unfortunately haven't transferred over yet about sentence structure? or maybe it was linked into my grammar post? I don't remember but one of my most recent asks also brought it up; playing with sentence structure to convey emotion.

hope that helps?? i confused myself so maybe not.

emotional writing

lovely stuff.

dig deep into the character mindsets. Do a lot of yes/no up/down. Like character one has one opinion/emotional feeling and the other one directly parallels it. it adds tension and makes the readers pine after the relationship.

the characters are confused too. like, this person they used to share a house and sleep together and eat together and now. don't?

It feels like a gaping wound. They'll feel maybe lost, a bit disoriented. Probably a lotttt of awkward calls. maybe slip in an accidental pet name? Just, really highlight the sad nostalgia. As if you think of something and understand fundamentally that it's gone forever. that kind of acheyness in your chest.

dual POV works great here too to get both sides of the story.

FLASHBACKS. to the relationship, and then to the exact same situation but they're not talking/not like they were. like 'oh I'm making pancakes, we used to make pancakes on saturdays and then cut to the other character eating pancakes alone also.

or something.

oof i want to cry now.

thanks I hope I helped??? it's 6 am I might revisit this lmao

[marley-manson]

Is The God You Know good? Perhaps not. But it has mortal Ares and Aphrodite, Aphrodite wants to fuck Gabrielle, Michael is a villain and Xena gets put on pseudo-Jesus' shitlist when she tortures him <3, Alexis Arquette is fun, and in general Xena is pretty dark and fucked up this ep which is my favourite thing. The aforementioned angel torturing, talking the villain into killing himself, punching Eve out for plot reasons, and also I'd count the moment when she suggests Caligula fuck Ares and Ares is mentally like 'what the fuck is happening right now.' The plot doesn't have to make sense, I'm having a good time.

There You Are, on the other hand, is straight up amazing as well as being entertaining lmao, it's gotta be one of the best comedy episodes of the show. Perfect characterizations all around, hilarious, and the sense of self awareness is ideal, I get the impression that the writer shares a lot of my opinions on the show.

Like I love the way Eve's interview segments take the piss out of Eli's followers and characterize Eve's peacefulness as kind of a put-on lol, it's my ideal Eve characterization. And Charon's matter of fact discussion of Xena's kill count and the references to her more self-serving actions, complicating her heroism but not negating it, idk it was all done in a very refreshing and satisfying way imo.

And there were several great details, like Michael's vaguely Zapp Brannigan-esque vibe lol, and Xena being tempted by the golden apple before she returns love to the world, and the way at this point in the show people just straight up describe Xena as the best fighter in the world, and Ares saying directly that Xena doesn't owe him anything, and Xena violently walking out of the interview while Gabrielle returns to try to be her ambassador lol. And of course the way the plot revolves around returning love to the world to save their relationship lol.

Definitely a fave.

[baifengxis]

What are some of your fave cdramas that you would highly rec? I’m looking for something to watch and I would be grateful if you can share some. Thank you!!

Oh, thanks so much for this question, I love recommending cdramas haha!

LEGEND OF FEI [2020] Gotta start with the obvious, because I'll recommend this drama forever even to everyone who has started and can't get into it, I'll always be like, please try again lol It's feminist, fun, feel-good but with very nicely done heavy moments every few episodes, important messages about life and about becoming who you want to be, it has my, at this point, favorite cdrama ship ever, yunfei my beloved!! relationship goals! friendships, funny dynamics, siblings, AMAZING characters and...so much more, I won't continue because I'll never stop lmao

UNEXPECTED [2018] Such an underrated Drama! I don't know why it's so underrated, especially because it's made by the same writer as a very popular drama (The Romance of Tiger and Rose) and the stories are very similar, which I know can be boring but they also have differences that make each drama unique, there's just the same premise of a writer traveling into their own story.

I'VE FALLEN FOR YOU [2020] The perfect rom-com historical drama, with a very fun plot and with plot twists you don't expect, such good characters and two amazing ships! Comfort drama for sure!

THE LOVE BY HYPNOTIC [2019] If you love palace romance, arranged marriage turned true love, a few crazy (but very entertaining) villains and a love story for the ages! Even though it has some very heavy moments, it's one of my comfort dramas as well, because it also includes some VERY FUNNY moments, like I just love dramas that can somehow balance comedy, romance and serious moments so well!

THE QUEEN OF ATTACK [2021] There's so many short dramas nowadays and 80% of them have the same plot of someone traveling into a story lol and yes, this is one of them BUT it's such a good drama like it's insane, I'll wish forever it was a normal length one, but it's still so good, the episodes are 9-10 mins each but there are two seasons, and the episodes have been combined, so eventually it's like having a normal drama with 12 normal length episodes (6 for s1 and 6 for s2). It's so worth it and the two actors are so talented and have such good chemistry, plus the story is unique too, yes this premise has been done many times but I think they still made it so unique and different from others.

THE STARRY LOVE [2023] A recent drama and quite popular, but I'll still recommend it always. Other than the last episode that was a bit disappointing and rushed (still a happy-ish ending though), it's my favorite Xianxia and it was just so good, the story, the cinematography, THE OST, the actors, the ships, the friendships, the sisters, ALL THE WOMEN, youqin literally making all other MLs take notes from him on how to be the best ml out there, so many reasons to watch this drama, just ignore the last part and pretend we saw what they forgot to show us lol

LOVE LIKE THE GALAXY [2022] Where do I even begin??? (This is the first Zhao Lusi drama i recommend in this list, but I just wanna mention, I recommend almost all of them.) Anyway, LLTG is by far my favorite political drama, and non wuxia/xianxia historical cdrama. It's so different and unique, there's literally nothing like it. It's a slow paced drama, with very long scenes (you might only have 3-4 scenes in one episode for example) and it's the reason why It got me a while to get to it, but now I'M SO IN LOVE WITH IT!!! There is not an episode I don't enjoy, it's pure art. Cheng Shao Shang is one of my favorite girls ever and her and Ling Buyi???? I'D DIE FOR THEIR LOVE. Their chemistry is so so so good, now Zhao Lusi can have chemistry with a tree, it's true but still, one of the best cdrama ships out there. Even though I never truly watched classic cdramas like Nirvana on Fire and those "older" ones, I think LLTG somehow is the closest to those except it also loves its characters and focuses on romance more than any older political cdrama did but it works so so well.

LIGHTER AND PRINCESS [2022] Favorite modern drama! I gotta be honest I'm not verrrryyyy into modern cdramas, I like a few, even love some, but generally it's hard to find a modern cdrama I'll go crazy over...but L&P changed that. Or well, it's still hard, maybe even harder now, to find something that tops it, but L&P is just so so good. Again, a quite popular drama, maybe it doesn't need the recommendation, but I have to mention it anyway 'cause it's my baby and I just cannot make a favorite cdramas list without it! Some reasons to watch: One of the best love stories out there, with such good angst and just everything you need on a ship, two main characters so unique that you'll definitely relate to (at least in some aspects), one of the best OSTS ever, perfect cinematography, directing and writing and one of my favorite endings on any show ever!

Some more dramas I recommend but I won't dig deeper (I talked a lot already):

Couple of Mirrors [2021]

Who Rules The World [2022]

Love Between Fairy and Devil [2022]

Young Blood [2019 - S2 starts tomorrow!]

Wait, My Youth [2019]

Zhaoyao/The Legends [2019]

Arsenal Military Academy [2019]

There's probably more but I think that's good for now, I hope I helped you find something to watch and I'm always here for more recs if you want :P <3

[dannystheone]

SINCE REQUESTS ARE STILL OPENN MAY I REQUEST A SWITCH!STAN AND SWITCH!KYLE FICCC? MAYBE THEY LIKE DO A DONT LAUGH CHALLANGE OR STUFF PLEASE AND THANK YOUUUU!<33

Alright guys here it is! The moment we've all been waiting for >:) for some reason this fic reminds me of something... (the long-anticipated ruggie fic I never finished lol)

But it's here! I hope you enjoy!

WARNINGS: Kids swearing and foot tickles! (Socks stay on if that helps)

Two Different Types Of Comedy (Lee/Ler Stan and Kyle)

Stan is developing a different taste in comedy while Kyle is still entertained by childish jokes. The two butt heads over which form of comedy is best.

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Lazy Saturdays were always appreciated in South Park. No work, no school, no chores, just doing whatever you wanted. For Stan and Kyle, the best lazy Saturday was sharing a couch, a blanket, and exchanging TikToks with each other.

Stan's parents were gone for the day, so naturally the boys crashed at his place. Snacks littered the floor around the couch as Stan lay on the right side of the couch and Kyle relaxed on the left side. A Terrance and Phillip blanket covered the two boys' legs that were thrown on top of each other's. For some people, this would have been uncomfortable, but the boys have been in this position with each other so many times it's the only way they liked it when it was just the two of them.

Kyle let out a yawn and scratched the back of his head as he scrolled through TikTok. Stan laid on his arm with his arm against the headrest as he scrolled as well.

"Pffmmt- heheheh. Stan- Stan dude, look at this." Kyle shifted on the couch and reached over the blanket to hold his phone up to Stan's face. Stan looked away from his phone to see. "Terrance and Phillip have their own official TikTok now, so they're posting all the best bits they had on the show! Look, it's the one where they fart on the President!" As the living room was filled with fart noises and the TV characters laughing, Stan didn't react.

"Oh...killer." Stan looked back to his phone with Kyle's hand hanging limp in the air. Kyle’s eyebrows furrowed.

"Dude, what the hell? You love Terrance and Phillip. You didn't think it was funny?" Kyle asked. Stan shrugged as he scrolled through his social media.

"I dunno dude, maybe I've seen the bit one too many times. It's not that big of a deal." Kyle laid back on his side of the couch with a quirked lip. Without another word, he kept scrolling through the Terrance and Phillip TikTok page, quietly giggling at the jokes.

"Pfft- hahaha! Oh man, Kyle, you gotta see this!" Stan reached over the blanket to show Kyle his phone. Kyle looked away from his to see. "It's Bo Burnham's newest show on Netflix! Everyone says it's his best one yet! We have to watch it together." Kyle looked at the phone in confusion. It was just a guy doing stand-up.

"Dude Bo Burnham isn't funny? And besides, since when did you start liking him?" Stan's face fell as he took his phone back and shrugged.

"I dunno dude, Terrance and Phillip just aren't that funny anymore. I mean, how many times can you fart on a dude's head and still think it's funny?" Stan questioned. Kyle put his phone in his lap as he splayed his hands.

"Well, what's so funny about Bo Burnham? The only thing I can remember of him is that Jeff Bezos song and that was just it- a song. You're laughing at songs now?" Stan put down his phone as well, getting increasingly agitated.

"It's better than laughing at childish shit like fart jokes and diarrhea all the time! I thought you were the mature one, Kyle. How can you still find that hilarious?" Kyle's mouth went agape as he threw up his hands.

"I don't know dude it's my childhood! It's both our childhood, and you still think it's funny, you just don't want to admit it cause you think you're more superior than the rest of us." Kyle accused.

"I don't think I'm superior! I just wanted to find different stuff to laugh at. Stuff that isn't immature." Stan crossed his arms as Kyle grunted. Kyle hated arguments, he wished there was a way to put a swift end to this.

Stan's leg was wedged between the couch and Kyle's own leg. It was starting to go numb, so Stan shifted on the couch to try and relieve it. A crazy idea shot into Kyle's mind.

Kyle grabbed hold of Stan's ankle and set it on his lap. Stan had his jeans and his black socks on despite the blanket thrown on top of them. Stan tried pulling his leg back, but Kyle had a surprisingly strong grip.

"Dude what the hell are you doing? Get off." Stan warned. Kyle shook his head as he prepped one of his hands while keeping a hold on Stan's ankle.

"You think you're grown up, huh? Not laughing at immature shit anymore? Well let's see how long you last trying not to laugh at the most childish shit on the planet!" Stan's face was a mask of confusion.

"What are you gonna do?" Stan tried pulling his leg back once more, so Kyle trapped his ankle between his own jeaned legs.

"I'm gonna tickle you until you admit that 'childish' stuff is still funny! Because it is!" Kyle growled. Stan's throat jumped in agitation as he angrily brought Kyle's foot into his own lap. Kyle had white socks on for today.

"Fine! Then I'll do the exact same thing! I'll tickle you until you can admit that mature comedy is better than a show four-year-olds can laugh at!" The sudden twist caught Kyle by surprise; his body tingling with anticipation now. But that wouldn't phase him. The boys locked eyes with each other, burning in their resolve.

"I'm. Not. Laughing." Kyle's hand gripped Stan's ankle with determination.

"Neither. Am. I." Stan replied with certainty.

"First one to laugh wins the argument."

"So be it."

After a moment's breath, Stan and Kyle dove into their respective feet; Kyle scribbling up and down Stan's foot while Stan scratched into Kyle's toes. The two boys snorted and held their breath as well as they could. They grit their teeth to bar the laughter from coming out, all of the would-be noises pent up in their chest.

Kyle could feel the scribbles shoot up his leg like electricity. His lips quirked into a forced smile as he slammed his teeth down to prevent any laughter from coming out. Stan tried not to think about Kyle's fingers rippling into his arch, because the more he thought about it the more it tickled. Stan huffed and kept his mouth shut.

"I'm- pffmmt- I'm not gonna- lose!" Kyle forced out, having to take a break between each word to not let a laugh loose. Stan was having a more difficult time speaking. His leg was jolting with every touch Kyle delivered to it, and he would admit that Kyle had method. Kyle's fingers swirled from his heel up to his toes and down into his ball and arch in careful movements despite being tickled himself. Stan just tickled anywhere he could reach.

"I-hehee- I'm not- lohosing eheither!" Stan's eyes winced as he dug his nails into Kyle's arch. Kyle's leg jumped as he snorted and set his jaw against his laughter. The two boys were starting to sweat with this exertion. It felt like the seconds that passed that they didn't laugh, all the more it tickled.

"Juhust- Just gihive up duhude! I'm- urgh- I'm gohonna win!" Kyle forced out between grit teeth. Stan shook his head defiantly and kept up his haphazard method of tickling. Kyle gained a sense of resolve and started scribbling his fingers up and down Stan's foot from toes to heel. Stan jumped on the couch and tried pulling his leg back, but Kyle's grip was strong.

"N-Nehehever!" Stan started laughing in his throat, it sounded like he was choking, but he tried swallowing the sounds as well as he could. He was becoming weak; Kyle's grip was stronger and his method was better. Stan decided to replicate Kyle's method and set Kyle's ankle in his left hand and scraped his nails top to bottom on Kyle's foot. Despite this being Kyle's method, it was very effective against him. Kyle's fingers stilled as he shifted on the couch.

"Mmph! Hmhmhmhm! Stahan quit!" Kyle's back slid forward on the couch, giving Stan more of Kyle's ankle in his grip. Stan quickly used this reprieve as Kyle stopped tickling him to tickle all over Kyle's foot, from his ankle to the top of his foot as well. Kyle's toes curled up as he snorted and tried to breathe his laughter away.

"Face it dude, I won! Now admit that mature comedy is better!" Stan dug his fingers into Kyle's toe spaces, which made Kyle laugh through his nose in a big sputtering noise. Kyle hid his face with his arms as his face turned red from exertion.

"You should see your face, dude-"

"Boys? I'm home." Stan's mom Sharon walked in through the front door with her hands full of groceries; Stan's fingers stilling against Kyle's foot. Kyle held a hand to his beating heart as he breathed in deep and laid limp on the couch.

"Oh uh- hi Mom. We're just hanging out." Stan said awkwardly.

"Oh? And what are you up to?" Sharon listened to the boys as she carried the groceries into the kitchen. Kyle shot up on the couch, catching Stan by surprise.

"Getting Stan to admit that Bo Burnham sucks!" Kyle declared and grabbed hold of Stan's foot to scribble his fingers into the arch. Stan stared bewildered at Kyle before his face lit up in his laughter. Stan held his belly with both arms in his laughs while Kyle scratched his socked foot with his nails.

"Pfft- ahahahaha! Duhuhuhude you cheheheheated!" Stan kicked his leg while it still lay in Kyle's hand. Kyle let go immediately as Stan laughed.

"HA! I got you, you bastard! Now admit it! Admit that Terrance and Phillip are funny!" Kyle crossed his arms in his victory. Stan breathed out as he sat up slowly on the couch.

"Duhude, I never said they weren't funny. I was just saying that I wanted to find different stuff to laugh at. I don't want to rely on just Terrance and Phillip for a laugh, you know? And I think if you have different things to laugh at, it kind of preserves the comedy of the show because you're not watching that comedy all the time, you know?" Stan explained. Kyle had a thoughtful face on.

"Yeah, I see what you're saying. Terrance and Phillip do get a little stale now and then. I mean, how many times can you go around farting on people and each other? Wouldn't you get sick of farts after a while?" Stan's face lit up as Kyle understood him.

"Yes, exactly! And we don't even have to watch Bo Burnham, he's just the first guy that got recommended to me on Netflix. There's a ton of stuff to watch!" Kyle grabbed the TV remote and clicked the TV.

"Come on, let's find something to-"

"Oh no, boys. I'm gonna need you to clean up all this mess." Sharon walked back into the living room and pointed out all the snacks and food that littered the floor. "Your father is coming home soon and I don't want him walking into a messy house."

"Aw man- this sucks." The boys slowly got off the couch and started picking up trash.

"This is what I get for wasting time listening to you say that Terrance and Phillip are better than Bo Burnham." Stan said under his breath.

Kyle shot him a look. "What did you say?"

[jimmyaquino]

My heart has broken in pieces. One of my best pals John Cassaday passed away last night. 52. Way too young. I'm fucking devastated. I've been waiting to post anything as I was trying to find the right words. Plus, I was digging up old photos. Still so many to go through. I may ramble a bit so please bear with me. 

I was at the hospital when he peacefully passed away and I got to say goodbye beforehand. I heard about his hospitalization (I wont go into details on what happened) on Wednesday and went to the hospital every day before work. I would go into his room each time and just chat with him. I randomly texted him last Monday night, 

“Hello! I just wanted to say hi and send some mad Jimmy love. Careful. It’s spicy!”  He replied at 10:46pm with “Love you back!” And as I found out later from his girlfriend Tara, he was taken to the hospital about an hour or so later. Some small solace that my final text was one of mutual love. 

Yesterday, I went into his room and spent some time with him and said good-bye just a couple of hours before he was no longer with us. I gave as much love as I could, mentioning as many as I remembered. And I know this may seem silly, but when I held his hand, I felt a small twitch. I know it”s just an unpredictable body thing but I’ll take it. As you can imagine, I’m a wreck and have been openly bawling off and on. He is my best friend. And that’s what’s great. He is a lot of people's best friend. He is so loved. And even though we may not have hung much as we used to, we always stayed in touch. Always there if I needed.

I first met John back in 2002 through a friend. She had told me about him and of course, I knew who he was from his comic work. Needless to say, we rapidly hit it off. Almost immediately started hanging out. We notoriously hit all the Hell's Kitchen spots (I lived there and he liked hanging there) til the wee hours for years. He introduced me to so many people and a bunch of us would hang out all the time. (Looking at you Paul Pope and John Lucas). That was the thing about John. As said, I was one of his best pals. But I know a lot of people were. Lucas and I were reminiscing last night about how he jokingly passed the Cassaday "best friend" mantle on to me when he moved out of NYC. Cass was so loved and admired by everyone. He always wanted me to meet other friends he knew and would tell me all about them. As I know he would tell them about me. He wanted us all to be one big family of friends. 

I started doing the podcast with Joe Gonzalez in 2005 and John was so supportive. He'd come to the anniversary live recordings as either a guest or just to hang and support. My first San Diego Comic Con was that year and he introduced me to big name friends of his and asked if they'd let us interview them. He'd always tell his friends, "Jimmy's got this terrific new podcast. You gotta go on it". We were always together at SDCC over the years. So much so that if we weren't together at the moment, people would promptly ask me "Where's John?" I loved it! For years, we'd either be on the same flight in or try to land at similar times and then a friend would take us straight to In N Out. 

Besides comics, we shared our love for quite a few things. One of them being the movie It's A Wonderful Life. It's my fave film of all time. And John loved it so much as well. We'd talk about it, quote it, reference it, etc. A couple of years ago, he got me an incredible birthday gift. It's one of those old movie lobby cards that were displayed in movie theater lobbies back in the day. And yes, this one was from back in the 1940's when the movie was released! I had it framed and it's been on my wall ever since. Along with an original art piece from his Astonishing X-Men run he gifted me for another birthday years ago. 

So many favorite memories with him. A few random ones: 1). Me, him and Lucas hit a comedy show back in the day and all 3 of us had our long hair and one comedian kept referring to us as the "cast of The Sopranos". 2). Nick Barrucci got us a limo from NYC to Philly to celebrate John's birthday for one weekend. Fun weekend of food/drinks/clubs/etc. 3). One SDCC, he grabbed my flask usually full of whiskey (I had substituted it w/ an amaro) and did a literal spit take onto my white tie. 4). He refused to get a cell phone for a long time and would have people call/text me when we were out. Sometimes a famous friend or 2 and I'd be like "(insert celeb name here) just called me!" I eventually took him to get his first one. 5). He became friends with Nathan Fillion and brought him to my bar one night. I got off early and the 3 of us had A NIGHT of food/drinks til about 8am when we left the after hours pub. 

I have so many memories and so many pictures to share. Perhaps I will start to share them soon. 

Also, he'd love that he's being talked about in the same space as the great James Earl Jones whom we also lost on Monday. Legends both.

I can't say enough about his girlfriend of 10 years Tara. She was a warrior throughout all of this. While I fielded some calls/texts/messages and helped inform people, she was doing it tenfold. So much love to her and John's family. Some of his cousins came down and it was lovely to spend time with them.

An IAWL quote: "All you can take with you is that which you've given away." And John gave away so much love. 

I'm devastated. The grief comes in waves. But I will spread the Cassaday love forever. Happy to share any stories and love seeing all of yours. He was a love virus. An incredibly talented, kind, generous, loving, loyal friend. I will never forget you, Johnny boy. You changed my life for the better. 

[transxfiles]

hii bailor how are you. have you read or watched anything cool recently. i just started fellow travelers (the book) and it's making me feel so crazy i had to put it down and like go walk around to feel normal again

HIIIIIIII i have been doing so mcuh with work and art and everything so i haven't done much reading since june (i read like 7 books in a row i was doing so well) BUT i have been watching movies bc i found out that the local arthouse theater gives a really good student discount. also i have been hanging out at the video store and befriending the ppl who work the front desk there so i've watched a bunch of fun movies recently. SO!! some movie recs from things i've watched recently

humanist vampire seeking consensual suicidal person (2023)

dark comedy film about a young vampire who cannot hunt for food bc she cant morally justify killing people. after her parents stop hunting for her (finally forcing her to confront her fear of taking human life) she realizes that she might be able to work around her issues when she meets a suicidal teenager who wants her to kill him. genuinely such a sweet coming of age movie. and VERY silly. and beautifully filmed.

latter days (2003)

found the dvd at the local tax evading secondhand bookstore and bought it as a joke but genuinely this movie was very good. how do i even begin to describe latter days. blowjob scene in the first 5 minutes. the "sweet home alabama" screenwriter's passion project that he described as him trying to figure out what his repressed mormon past-self and his young newly out queer self would've done if they'd met. the answer is gay sex. apparently. this is an insane movie. i really enjoyed it but tbh i had the unique viewing experience of watching the movie with my old homoerotic best friend from high school so idk if my opinions on it are valid. they may indeed be tainted by that viewing experience. some insane fucking one liners though.

scream, queen! my nightmare on elm street (2019)

really great documentary for queer horror fans. follows the life of mark patton, the man who is most well-known for being the "first male scream queen" after he starred in nightmare on elm street 2: freddy's revenge. this was a video store rental and did not disappoint! experienced a positive jumpscare when i heard the first voiceover and was like "WAIT!!! cecil gershwin-palmer??????" it is indeed voiced by mr cecil welcometonightvale himself, cecil baldwin 👍

this ask also gives me an excuse to share some of my journal pages about movies i've seen recently so !

(+ bonus photo of my latter days dvd. insane fucking movie. btw fun fact the sticker on this dvd says 3 dollar but i did in fact get it for free bc the bookstore ladies love me. so)

i should add fellow travelers to my TBR probably,,, i need to read again. im always saying that when i haven't read for a while but it's true. i've been reading so many theater related nonfiction books recently for work and school and independent study and stuff but i gotta read A Narrative again soon.

i also need to go insane over A Narrative again and i think that'd do the trick........

rn i'm reading "standby" which is this book about theatrical design theory and it's so SO good but a little dense. i will say the last book that i devoured was andrew rannells' book of essays "too much is not enoguh" i read that in like 3 days and that was me pacing myself. it also got the stamp of approval from my mom who i lent the book to pretty much as soon as i saw her after i finished it.

also read this weird script a while ago called "the last thing i'll ever write" by adam lauver but i really don't know how i feel about that one. it was fun to read in the moment bc reading it was like putting together a puzzle of trying to figure out how i would actually put the show on a stage but idk if i;d recommend it. it IS weird art though and i do love weird art.

ive also been watching falsettos pretty frequently. idk why. its been scratching a theatre itch in my brain.

[gothamslostboy]

Matchmaking for The Lost Boys for me???

Physical appearance: I have dark brown/black hair that nearly goes down to my neck, brown eyes and i have little small earrings. Idk how else to describe my appearance sorry

Style: I usually wear more comfortable clothes like hoodies and baggy pants. I also wear some band shirts. But if I really have to dress up, leather jacket

Favourite food: I'm not picky when it comes to food but if I had to pick a favourite, fried chicken sushi, especially with soy sauce

Gender preference: I like all genders so I don't really mind but I do lean mostly more to men

1-2 hobbies: I like to draw and practise playing my drums. I find it all fun!

Music tastes: Rock and metal all the way. It's just the best music out there in my opinion

Favourite animal: Now this is a weird one but it's a tie between tigers and axolotls. I don't know why but I like them

Favourite movie/genre: For my favourite movie, it's a rough tie between This is Spinal Tap and Bill and Ted. For my favourite genre, comedy, you just gotta have a laugh sometimes

1-2 personality traits: I'm usually pretty quiet but much more talkative when you get to know me. I'm also basically the peacemaker type

Gender: I'm male (ftm)

Zodiac sign: Sagittarius

1-2 traits you look for in partner: I want someone who's like affectionate and likes similar things. It's just my type

A/N:Hey dude! This too way to long for me to post and I’m sorry, hope you can still find it

I SHIP YOU WITH…

Dwayne:] you two have plenty of things in common and your differences complement eachother very well

He’ll ask to borrow one of your earrings, and give you one of his as a subtle way to let others around Santa Carla know you’re both spoken for. He adds a painting of a tiger to the other sleeve of his jacket as well, but that’s more to help with him missing you while you guys are separated. He asks for your permission to paint his favorite animal on your jacket, but if you prefer to have it plain he steals you a hoodie and paints it on there

He himself wears mostly hoodies and baggy pants (his preference is sweats) when lounging around the cave, unless it’s a night he feels like being shirtless, and leaves them around hoping you’ll decide to wear one. (He doesn’t want to ask you straight up, he wants it to be something you do yourself) if you guys share the same taste in bands, which given your music taste I’d say you do, he takes two matching shirts in your guy’s sizes after every concert he sees

He listens to you playing drums everytime you play, which eventually leads to you guys forming a band with Paul(he plays guitar while Paul sings)

One of his favorite date ideas is recreating each other’s previous drawings, though other than this the only art experience he has is painting clothes. He keeps every piece of art you’ve given him in a binder and guards it like it’s a million dollars

He’s a supportive person to lgbtq+ in general, so he knows how to help you. Whatever you want to do he’s there to help. Want to start hormones? He’s making you a list of every specialist in California and helping narrow it down, same with top surgeons. If you’re feeling dysphoric he does whatever he can to relieve you of some of it. Even though hes not normally a big words of affirmation guy, he tells you how handsome you are whenever he realizes you’re struggling. Also points out your masculine features and compliments them.

When you first meet it is a little awkward, both of you are quiet around people you don’t know, but once you warm up to each other there’s never a moment where you two struggle in a conversation with each other. There are still many times you guys sit in a comfortable silence though.

It’s not his favorite genre, but he does enjoy comedies, especially if it means he gets to see you laughing and enjoying yourself. He spends more time watching you than he does the movie tbh

[le-scenariste]

For the Ghosts asks: 2, 8, 9, 10, 27 👻

Woah so many to answer let's fuckin GO !

2) If you could see the ghosts like Alison, which one do you think would come the closest to making you want to leave the house?

Okay definitely not Cap, Pat, Humph, Mary or Robin. Thomas would be kinda annoying but also kinda amusing. Kitty I think could grow on me since she definitely did in the show. I'm not sure about Fanny since she nags quite a bit but then there's Julian with all his innuendos and sex stories which would be such a pain. Actually I think Julian's constant horniness could get me to leave more. And also the fact he's a Tory and really just oozes PoliticianTM.

8) Which ghost do you think you'd get along with the best?

Oooh shit this is a good one. I mean my faves are Cap and Pat so I'd like to think those two but honestly...I think I'd get along real well with Humphrey. I like discussing shit and he enjoys the company and actually being involved and shit. I think he'd be great to talk to about things in a civil conversation ya know. Not like a debate or argument or anything just sharing ideas and shit. As much as I love Pat, he is VERY upbeat and that's great ofc but sometimes can be a bit tiring. Cap ? Idk, I feel like it could easily become very awkward with him. Although I am interested in history, especially his era (mostly cuz of Sabaton) so I guess if i got him talking on military history it could be pretty fun. But if i made one gay joke he'd panic and shut up even tho being gay and making jokes about it is so fun. Come on Cap you got this king I believe in you <3

9) Which ghost would you say you're most like?

Hey Seb, if you see this, don't read my answer and tell me which Ghost YOU think I'm most like. I wanna compare my answer to yours. ANYWAYS (if you're Seb do not keep reading)

Hmmmmmmmmm. This shit's hard cuz I don't wanna be like "well this character's my fav and i wanna be just like them" but also Cap is my fav for a reason. I mean, I do find it hard to talk about emotional shit like him. I'd say we have That as a strong similarity. Pat and I are both short kings but otherwise, he is so outdoorsy and i am NOT plus he's super outgoing and loves helping others whereas interacting with new people and all that seems so exhausting. Oh yeah, Cap (and Pat)'s need for routine. I like having a routine too but also I don't (ADHD ahA). Cap and I are both enjoyers of pretty men :)

10) Which ghost would you say you're least like?

Julian. Easily. I mean, I am a...not conservative (cuz Liberal and liberal here are two different things and it's very confusing sometimes) and very asexual. Oh and Fanny. I know she lived in a different time and all but growing up "as a girl" while later realizing i am transmasc, all her comments about being unladylike towards Alison woulda pissed me off (they don't really in the show cuz it's a comedy and I enjoy Martha's performance and Fanny isn't like...a shithead, she's just a bit behind sometimes). I probably would get into an argument with either of them about something. Love them as characters tho.

27) Favourite episode?

I think overall it's gonna go to The Woodworm Men. Not just cuz of the PatCap moments but also the ghosts listening to Pat's ghost story, all of them moving to Mike's tent to be with Alison <33333, Julian and Robin being scaredy-cats. Alison and Mikes competition. Such a good episode. Stellar performance from everyone. Redding Weddy and A Perfect Day are close seconds tho.

As you can see...I really enjoy rambling but I also gotta make sure my thoughts are clear ya know ? Thanks for the asks, I very much enjoyed answering them thoroughly >:)

[iamnot-theboynextdoor]

stede is gay and knows it, ramble below

i think the first time i watched ofmd i was viewing it through the lens of "stede doesn't even know he's gay, proceeds to be The Most Stereotypical Flamboyant Ever, therein lies the comedy, up until ed kisses him and then a lot of things make terrifying sense to him"

but it makes more sense that stede always knew, and it heavily contributed (if not a core responsibility towards) his alienation from the world he grew up in.

i still believe that ed was his first ever romantic connection/contact with another guy. but like, the badmintons and co would bully him for being a [insert derogatory term for gay here], and then when he was at That Age where he was supposed to be Noticing Girls or whatever that means, he realised he was Noticing Boys, and had the horrible thought of "my bullies were right??? i AM a [insert derogatory term for gay]??? Oh God No. am i that obvious that they knew before i did? who else knows? does my father? is that why he has such contempt for me?" etc.

and so stede Knows but never Acts. he marries mary, has children, cries himself to sleep.

the revenge is a sanctuary, of course. stede embraces his theatricality and flamboyance and encourages everyone to talk about their feelings - but he doesn't share his own. partly because he's trying to maintain his authority (a lost cause but he doesn't know it)/high status/does genuinely see the crew as Beneath Him (both in a classist way and in a he's almost trying to be their surrogate dad way (the man has Complexes) ).

but also because he thinks he's a bit past it.

headcanon territory here, but i'd love a fic with stede and lucius just talking about being gay. (A Bell Tolls as my WIP Idea list grows longer.) stede very nervously asking lucius "are you... y'know..." and lucius deadpan being "you cannot seriously have any doubt that i am gay. not even you are that clueless." and stede, terrified, says out loud for the first time "me too... i think... maybe...?" and poor lucius biting back the urge to go NO SHIT because he can Tell that this is stede's first step out of the closet and Oh God you're telling him he's gonna have to be babygay stede's queer mentor on top of everything else? he better be getting paid for this

stede doesn't go too into depth about his own feelings (hypocrite that he is) or lack of experience, but i can see lucius being all "so do you think anyone onboard is hot" and stede going "oh, i couldn't. i'm their boss. and i've never... i'm past it, i've missed my window", and lucius' heart does break a little for stede because nobody's Too Old to have a First Romance.

(lucius is up for mutiny, as much as he feels sorry for stede, because lucius always aligns himself with whatever he thinks are his best odds of staying alive ("i'm a strong reader and writer" to the english navy") and he isn't going to be stede's Sole Defender in a mutiny)

so stede knows he's gay, and then ed shows up, and stede really is just grateful to have a platonic friend (who also happens to be blackbeard)! and of course stede is Totally Oblivious to the fact that ed has a crush on him. the idea of reciprocity is unfathomable to stede, that doesn't happen, people don't see him romantically, people barely tolerate him at best, right?

it's hard to say when stede starts his crush on ed, and when stede Realises he has a crush on ed, and when stede Realises that it's mutual. i think stede is YET to realise that ed's feelings for him are more than just a fleeting whim. he realises it's of Mutual Importance after his conversation with Mary, but i doubt he has any idea of the Extent of how much ed is affected by him not showing up... that's gotta be the crux of s2. for me, stede's internal timeline goes:

develops a crush on ed: "do you fancy a fine fabric?"

*realises* he has a crush on ed: (ok i don't have a definitive answer for this stage it could be literally any time between ep4 and ep7. i think it's less of an "oh." moment and more of a blossoming feeling)

realises ed likes him back: The Big Damn Kiss

realises he and ed have genuine, mutual feelings for each other: "his name is ed."

realises ed was In Love with him: YET TO HAPPEN.

i get a lot of enjoyment of reading "you wear fine things well" as ed falling in love with stede and stede obliviously being like "wowe friendship :)". but i can't deny the possibility of stede putting on most of the obliviousness as a front. i do think stede still has no idea about ed's feelings or the significance of This Moment. but i think if he was genuinely "wowe platonic friendship and absolutely no ulterior motive from either of us :)" he wouldn't have stopped to look back.

my headcanon is that from the "looks like there's trouble in paradise!" line, stede thinks that ed and izzy are Currently Together. so when stede looks back, he's thinking "it's a shame he's taken. oh well."

(meanwhile ed and izzy are Not Currently Together (in a romantic sense) but they were, they've had 30 years of an on-off nebulous romantic-sexual thing that is all at once unspoken and naturally unassumed/kismet/doesn't need to be spoken about and Really Fucking Needs To Be Spoken About, they're married they're divorced they're still living and working together, they're pining they hate each other they need each other, i hope you die i hope we both die... in summary they're Off and in their "I think we should see other people" phase (but then ed actually does and izzy is like Hey What The Fuck You Weren't Actually Supposed To) )

but then izzy leaves. and stede is like. right. we're going treasure hunting. this is my Boyfriend Material Audition. AND HE WOULD HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT IF IT WASN'T FOR THAT MEDDLING CALICO JACK-

this is a lot of words to just say- it's funny to imagine that stede's Gay Awakening is the exact moment ed kisses him and not a moment sooner. but i think he knows already and just never put it into words as such.

[hotgarbagedumpsterfire]

the one where Gojo gets turned into a chicken

crackfic, comedy, one-shot, not canon-compliant, putting those traumatized characters in silly lil situations, but they're less traumatized here and everyone is Still Alive, something something just this once everybody lives, for best results imagine Gojo as a white Silkie chicken

A/N: I can already hear ppl complaining like “bUt hE’s tHe sTrOnGeSt sOrCerRer oF tHe mOdErn agGe, he wouldn’t get turned into a chicken!!”

I literally don’t care, I wrote this for shits and giggles. Go find serious, canon-compliant fanfic somewhere else.

This was not how the mission was supposed to go, and yet, here he was.

Satoru Gojo had been turned into a chicken. 

A cloud-soft, white, Silkie chicken.

Granted, no one at Jujutsu Tech had actually seen the embarrassing incident/transformation as it occurred, but there was no mistaking the blindfold and the fluffy plume of feathers on its head. 

The strongest-sorcerer-now-pathetic-poultry had finally made it back to the high school and strode as quickly as his little drumsticks would carry him across campus in the last of the evening light, still determined to check in on his students as they settled into their rooms for the night. But he didn’t get very far before one of them found him. 

“A chicken?” Fushiguro asked, mildly amused, “what are you doing here?”

Gojo pecked at his pupil’s feet, trying to communicate his plight. 

Unfortunately, the only thing Fushiguro picked up on was the insane amount of cursed energy emanating from the feathered being. 

“A stray shikigami? That’s strange. They usually stick pretty close to their masters,” he mused, “and one of such power…”

Just then, as if magnetically drawn to the absurd situation, Itadori appeared, interrupting Fushiguro who was lost in thought.

“Megumi! You gotta help me, Kugisaki wants to drag me downtown to go shopping again!”

Fushiguro turned to look at his boyfriend idiot classmate.

“Just tell her you’re not interested.”

“Are you kidding? That girl won’t take no for an answer when it comes to shopping, and she always makes me be her bag boy!”

As Itadori was complaining to Fushiguro, who just sighed and shook his head, Gojo hustled over to Sukuna’s vessel, hoping he would somehow understand the predicament that the special grade sorcerer had found himself in.

“Whoa, is that a chicken? Where’d you come from, lil guy” Itadori asked, unknowingly lifting his teacher and inspecting him from some very unflattering angles.

“I have no idea,” Fushiguro answered, “but based on its cursed energy, I think it’s a stray shikigami, and a pretty strong one too.”

“No way,” Itadori scoffed, “Shikigami are totally tied to their masters, you taught me that, Megumi.”

Fushiguro smirked, “ok then, what do you think it is?”

Itadori thought for a moment, “hmm, maybe one of Yaga’s cursed corpses?”

“You think Yaga would create a cursed corpse out of a chicken?”

“Well, maybe! He’s got all those cute handmade dolls and stuff doesn’t he?”

“I guess,” said Fushiguro.

“I know, we could ask Panda!”

“Ask Panda what? What are you two morons going on about now,” asked Kugisaki, who had given up on shopping upon realizing that all her favorite stores were closed at this hour.

Itadori held the chicken close to his chest and hid behind Fushiguro, “n- nothing! It’s just guy stuff, you wouldn’t wanna know!”

But Gojo squawked in indignation at being squeezed, and Kugisaki raised an eyebrow.

“‘Just guy stuff,’ huh? Yeah, right. Care to share what you’ve got there, Itadori?”

Fushiguro leaned out of the way, exposing Itadori and his feathered friend.

“You know what? You’re right, I don’t wanna know what sort of ‘guy stuff’ you’re gonna do to that chicken.”

“Hey, don’t make it sound like we’re gonna do weird stuff to the chicken! We just found it and wanna know what its deal is, that’s all!”

Gojo took Itadori’s flailing as an opportunity to hop down and out from his grasp. He landed at Kugisaki’s feet, again pecking at the ground to try to get his point across. 

Kugisaki stepped back in surprise, “then why the hell is it already wearing a blindfold?!”

“What?”

“It was like that when we found it,” said Fushiguro, “and like I already told Yuji, it’s probably a stray shikigami, no need to freak out about it.”

Gojo decided enough was enough, and took off down the hallway of the dormitory and out into the common area, desperate to seek out someone else.

He ran right into Inumaki. 

“Kelp.”

“Huh? What’s wrong,” asked Panda.

Inumaki pointed, “tuna mayo.”

Panda lumbered over from his place on the couch, “oh, I see. Whatcha doin’ here, lil guy?”

Gojo tilted his head, before flapping his wings vigorously, trying to explain his situation.

Just then, the first years burst into the room.

“Have you guys seen a blindfolded chicken?”

“Right here, Itadori,” said Panda. “Cute lil guy, isn’t he?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess so…”

“Hah! So you were going to do something weird to that chicken!”

“No no no! Just because I think it’s cute, doesn’t mean I was gonna do anything weird!”

From her seat at the table, Maki ((because I respect her wishes and dare not call her “Zen’in”)) sighed in exasperation.

“Can you keep it down, I’m trying to relax over here.”

“Aw, c’mon, Maki, cleaning your cursed tools doesn’t count as relaxing,” said Panda.

“Besides, you should take a break, come see what we found over here!”

Maki sighed again and stood from the table, “fine, but this better be worth my time.”

“Salmon.”

Maki crouched down, looking over the chicken with a critical eye. Gojo stared her down, but it didn’t exactly work with the blindfold and the fluffy feathers falling over his face.

“Interesting, but definitely not worth my time.”

“What?”

“I mean, it’s got some serious cursed energy, even I can see that,  but it’s just a chicken,” she pressed her palms to the tops of her thighs, preparing to stand. But Gojo pecked at her knee, and then her fingers insistently.

“Ouch! Alright, you lil shit, now I’m going to exorcise you and cook you for dinner!!”

Gojo retreated a few paces before pecking at the ground again.

Maki was still glaring at the offending poultry, watching as it used its beak to tap out a message in Morse code. Her expression changed, from irritation to confusion to bewilderment.

“G-Gojo Sensei?”

“Huh?/mustard leaf,” five voices asked in unison.

Maki shushed her curious cohorts.

“He’s pecking out a message… Got cursed… need help… get Shoko!”

“Well, we better hope she’s still up,” Fushiguro said.

-

The students shuffled quickly across campus to Ieri’s office, Itadori carrying chicken-Gojo in one arm and banging on the door with the other.

“Ieri Sensei! Open up, it’s an emergency!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Ieri said, as she approached the door.

“What’s the emergency,” she asked, opening the door.

“It’s Gojo Sensei! He- he, well, just look at him,” Itadori cried, holding out the chicken and nearly thrusting it right into Ieri’s face.

Ieri chuckled, “wow, Gojo, you really got yourself in trouble this time!”

Gojo bobbed his head as if to say, “yeah, yeah, just fix it.”

“I don’t know what you expect me to tell you, Gojo, but I’m not a vet. I don’t know if I can fix this.”

“So he’s stuck like this?!”

“I didn’t say that.”

“But will Gojo Sensei be ok?”

“I’ll have to do a full exam, and I can apply some RCT, but other than the transformation, there’s no obvious sign of any sort of injury or ailment here to be healed.”

Ieri set chicken-Gojo on the exam table and looked him over carefully. Once she had confirmed that there were no apparent external injuries, she began to ask him some questions, using Maki as a proxy.

“When exactly did this happen?”

“...Mission today,” Maki interpreted.

“O-kay, uh, where were you when it happened?”

“...doesn’t matter.”

“Do you even know how it happened? Or who did this to you?”

“...no clue.”

“But you can still think, and speak for yourself, and understand me.”

“...Duh.”

Ieri scoffed a bit at that, “Ok then, smartass, why haven’t you turned yourself back?”

“...tried….can’t”

“Ha! Strongest Sorcerer my ass! Can you even use your cursed energy or cursed technique right now?”

Maki watched chicken-Gojo intently, waiting for his reply. Chicken-Gojo turned away from Ieri on the exam table, and looked almost embarrassed.

“I’ll take that as a ‘no,’” Ieri said, trying not to laugh. 

Chicken-Gojo still had his six eyes and saw it anyway, flapping his wings indignantly.

“Fine, fine, I’ll try my RCT. But you owe me, big time.”

Ieri placed her hands on chicken-Gojo’s chest and back, letting her reverse curse technique flow through him. The students in her office watched and waited with baited breath.

Nothing happened.

Gojo was still very much a chicken.

“Hmmm…” said Ieri, as the students practically erupted with concern.

In the midst of the commotion, there was a big puff of smoke, and suddenly, a very human, very naked (except for his blindfold) Gojo was sitting on the exam table, a wide grin on his face.

“Gojo Sensei! You’re back,” Itadori exclaimed.

“I could’ve gone my whole life without seeing That,” Fushiguro complained.

“Good, now I can go back to relaxing,” said Maki.

“Salmon roe,” said Inumaki, giving Gojo a thumbs up. 

“C’mon guys, let’s give him some space,” said Panda, waving the others towards the infirmary exit. 

“Oh, god, I’m gonna need so much therapy,” groaned Kugisaki, rubbing her temples.

-fin-

[qnewsau]

Bianca Del Rio: Death becomes her

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/bianca-del-rio-death-becomes-her/

Bianca Del Rio: Death becomes her

Ahead of a trip Down Under for her Dead Inside World Comedy Tour, drag superstar Bianca Del Rio has a freewheeling chat with QNews about RuPaul, Raygun, Trump, Kamala Harris, Aussie audiences and what we can expect from her shows. Interview by Peter Hackney.

Thanks for joining us, Bianca. Where are you right now? I’m currently at home in Palm Springs, eyelashes deep in sequins and fabric, working on new costumes for the next leg of my tour. I leave for Europe next week and go straight to South America from there, so I’ll be on the road for about three months before coming back home for a couple of weeks.

Your tour is called Dead Inside. How come you’re dead inside? Tell us who hurt you … RuPaul hurt me by showing the world that I’m a kind and gentle 20-year-old drag performer. I wanted to keep that a secret, so I’m deeply hurt that she exposed my truth. I’ve been dead on the outside for years, so now my inside matches.

What can fans expect from the shows? I always say expect the unexpected. After a couple of glasses/bottles/cases of wine, there’s no telling what will come out of my mouth. If you’re easily offended, you will be. So have some wine with me, lighten the fuck up and have a good laugh before going back to the reality of this messed up world.

What makes Aussie audiences stand out? They’re always very demure and very mindful towards me. They consider Courtney Act a celebrity, so thankfully the bar is pretty low.

What’s on your tour rider? Jack Daniels, ginger beer, white wine, hummus, crackers, adult diapers, a picture of Michelle Visage, lube, a car battery and metal clamps.

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Who’s your favourite Australian and why? Without a doubt my favourite Aussie is the Olympic breakdance sensation, Rachael Gunn. She’s a reminder to the world that rhythmless white people need acknowledgment too!

What’s the best gig you’ve ever done? By far the most challenging, yet rewarding, gig I’ve ever done was having sex with Lady Bunny. Performing to sold-out audiences at Carnegie Hall and Wembley Arena would be distant second and third places.

What are you like outside of drag? What do you mean? I don’t have a life outside of drag. This shit consumes my entire life! Just kidding. I’m normally very private regarding my life outside of the spotlight. However, I’ve given this a lot of thought and decided to give you an exclusive. I’ve never publicly discussed this prior to this moment, but I am now ready to share this with the world. Outside of drag … I am an ultra-conservative Mormon bishop with three wives and twelve kids. Can I take a moment of your time to discuss our Lord and saviour, Jesus Christ?

Increasingly, certain feminists are calling out drag. Some are calling it ‘womanface’, claiming it’s similar to blackface. What’s your reaction? Womanface? This face? I would take that as a huge compliment. I don’t think I’m qualified to comment on that, but I will comment on the clown community coming after me and calling me ‘clownface’. They’re right. I can’t deny it. I do have a clown face, but it’s not hurting anyone. I’m not trying to offend or ridicule the clown community. I’m just trying to celebrate it.

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What’s your opinion of Kamala Harris? She can form complete, intelligent sentences which is far more than the candidate running against her can do.

You’re in a room with Donald Trump. Someone holds a gun to your head and says you’ve gotta give him head. What happens next? Oh honey, I don’t need a gun to my head. Physically, he’s totally my type. See my answer to, ‘What’s the best gig you’ve ever done?’

You won the sixth season of RuPaul’s Drag Race. Courtney Act narrowly lost to you. What was she like? What’s your relationship with her now? Narrowly? Hahahaha! I’ll be honest and admit there was some tension and a tad bit of jealousy while we were filming. But after Courtney admitted and accepted that my beauty is far superior to hers, we became great friends. She’s very down-to-earth and has a wonderful sense of humour. We cut up and had lots of laughs while filming Drag Race. Over ten years later, we’re still close friends and chat regularly. She texts me asking for beauty tips, I give her all my secrets and she does the opposite … Which is why she’s still gorgeous and I’m still clownface.

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RuPaul and Courtney don’t get on. Courtney’s publicly criticized Ru; Ru’s blocked Courtney on X. What’s your take on this? Spill the tea (and don’t hold back)! What? That’s news to me. Fill me in!

Your Dead Inside tour has been all over the world and finishes in Australia and New Zealand. What happens after that? After that is obviously rehab. Not for drugs or alcohol, though. At my age, intense physical therapy is needed after long tours.

The Dead Inside World Comedy Tour by Bianca Del Rio will visit Australia and New Zealand in January and February 2025. Visit biancadownunder.com for tour dates, information and tickets.

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.