#gotta control myself

[stainedlilac]

Nicolas Cage is so hot in National Treasure I could cry

[hinamie]

sry i have chronic only draws megumi disorder the doctor said it's terminal :/

[5ummit]

What are you afraid of? Worship, Gurney.

[cartoon-buffoon]

Finding Frankie post on their community YT page and...

.... V-... V-am-Vampire Frankie....

No words can express my desire for this lop-eared magician rabbit

[velvetjune]

“Darkness flowed from Cauldron Lake. Gaze into the black mirror of the lake, you'd see it all around you, and you'd understand, it was already out, already where you were. It was already too late.”

— Alan Wake 2

[daftpatience]

finally figuring out how to draw my fursona

[growmybelly]

Another lunch break where I overdid it. I’m sitting in my car desperately trying to not feel like I’m gonna pop if I take too deep of a breath. My pants feel like they’re cutting me in half 😭

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

Let us pray for [y]our salvation.

and here's two views of the window w/o geki b/c i spent way too long on it lmao:

[skeletalheartattack]

hi I like gelato a lot

[oneluckydragon]

Got terminal dusknoir brainrot atm so have some sketches I finished while trying out a new brush.

[averageludwig]

hi want you to know i red alert my friends everytime you post so they can prepare for the fallout of me losing my mind over how you draw demo. thank you for your service

The urge to post twenty four seven to indirectly terrorize your friends rn 😁

[synthetic-rust]

What they don’t tell you about autism is that it feels like you’re simultaneously one step outside of reality yet two steps too far into it at all times

[dangans-ur-ronpas]

(holds her) i'm going to give her a coping mechanism that's so fucked,

[jichanxo]

sunday six (i have been writing i pinkie promise)

tags: @four-white-trees @passthroughtime @phantasy14 @overdevelopedglasses @skysquid22

all my wips are spiralling out of control. anyway here's kuwagami again

“Slow down.” Kuwana spoke over him. “And breathe. You’re panicking again.”

Yagami went quiet and did as he was told, but only because it sounded like a good idea. Breathed in, out. Kuwana listened as he did.

“It’s just me.” Kuwana told him. “Talking to me isn’t a big deal, alright? You don’t have to be like this, like you’re... scared, or something. It’s not like you.”

Yagami laughed, ringing hollow even in his own ears. “Scared?”

“Then what is it?” Kuwana prompted. “That you feel about me?”

His heart supplied the word immediately, but it caught in his throat awkwardly. He choked around it, unable to get it out. Yagami’s mouth was open, but he didn’t say it, didn’t know if he could, if he wanted to.

[soup-is-here]

Mouthwashing Spoilers

TW: Addiction and Self Harm

I wanna go on about Swansea's final monologue but it's hard to put into words, but I'm gonna try anyways cause it's a short, but strong story about autonomy again. This post ended up significantly longer than I wanted though

It's the autonomy to choose the "less healthy" option because it's appealing to you. It's the moral assignment to normality and stability. An alcoholic is an alcoholic by choice, technically, but do they owe us otherwise? Is it morally reprehensible to enjoy taking LSD at a party? Should we see someone as less than because they relax with a xanax instead of a hot shower? It's not healthy. We know that. We've seen anti-drug ad after ad after ad. But is that the part that's morally wrong, in and of itself? Does enjoying the drugs and chaos make Swansea a worse person?

Like him talking about his entire life and ending it by saying between the "stable" "normal" life and him waking up every morning with a new hangover, he preferred the latter. People always talk about getting clean and fixing their lives and Swansea did it! He did the thing "good men" do! A wife and kids and a trade job and sobriety! He was doing it! He was finally "worth" something!

And he hated it! I mean I don't know if he actually hated/despised it, but he misses his previous life. He misses drugs and partying and living like you might not wake up the next day. He said the thing that changed him was seeing himself dead in a ditch under the bright beam of a streetlight. Now he's looking down the barrel of a gun. And as he looks down it, he looks back. That was his preference. It felt good to be like that. And he wouldn't be here if he stayed there

We always have a narrative about drugs or gambling or sleeping around where a person suddenly realizes that they aren't "doing anything" with their life and becomes stable and it's always played like addiction is a false pleasure. Swansea got to the stability people said would be the real pleasure of life and that just wasn't true for him. One bad paycheck could've been the difference between his stable life and falling apart anyways. His lifestyle was going to kill him someday apparently, yet he's staring down the barrel of a gun at his steady trade job to feed his wife and kids.

I don't know quite how to word it but Swansea is the poster child for rehabilitation. There's this weight to him saying his alcoholic period was the best time of his life. Like it just hits at that pang that makes people wear DARE shirts while smoking weed and post those videos of smoking 100 cigarettes at once. Anti-vaping ads tell you about the damage they do to your body but everyone knows that already. Everyone knows "this is what your brain looks like on drugs." I smoke medical marijuana and it isn't good for my lungs but it's good for my pain. Doing drugs isn't good for me and I know that and that's sorta the point sometimes.

I don't know it's just this weird pang where I know what Swansea means, just not to nearly the same extent. I don't have an addiction so I don't think I could fully understand it. Maybe a better thing I could relate it to for myself is self harm. It's not healthy sure, but who do I owe health? Myself? Other people? And what is healthy? Is it feeling better now? Is it resisting now and feeling worse for it until it stops? What if the coping skills I learn make it worse? What if they make it better? Do I want it to get better? Does Swansea want to get better? What would better feel like to either of us?

Who knows until you try. Swansea got a collared shirt, a mortgage, and a credit card. He got a job and a wife and kids. He got sober. He got healthier, depending on your definition.

But did he feel better? He's looking down a barrel of a gun and he has to decide if he feels better. It doesn't seem like he regrets his new life. He says he wants his kids to be better than him. He wants good things to happen for them. He saw himself as one bad slip away from falling again. I don't think he felt better though. I think he got healthier. He likely would've ended up in the ditch he dreamt about, but we don't know that. We also don't know if that's what he'd prefer. But, we do know he got healthier, depending on your definition.

[okkennymay]

This time around I thought I would make a comic relaying the events after the last time I posted, because my gosh is it easier to explain with pretty pictures than upsetting words >vO I prefer to make jokes about my situation than anything, ‘cause honestly it’s a solid way of dealing with it and I take so many medications as it is, why not add laughter to it I say! ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

Despite my condition’s best efforts I still managed to organise and complete a commission with someone through emails! Thank you @waezi2 you were so patient as I arose from my grave every other day to get things done (❁´◡`❁) Fighting my body and winning to complete it was the victory I needed! The sheer satisfaction I get from a commission well received by someone is like pure nectar to me~ Sweet sustenance I just can’t get enough of! The money don’t hurt either, Disability Support Pensions do not go far in this economy 👀 This is as close as I can get to having a job and I wont let C.V.S (Cyclic vomiting Syndrome) or Chrohns take that from me! 

I’m raring to dive into more if anyone’s interested ♪(´▽｀) I’m just about to post a new “commissions sheet” to broadcast that very fact >vO I do love having something to draw between Ectober pages~