#gotta admit i've been listening to this a Lot lately. what can i say. i love songs that change drastically

[youssefguedira]

Hello! 🎧

[cheezeybread]

Anon McGee is back to wreck the ol inbox :)

Not an Alice related thought this time [I'm ashamed to admit I've never actually played the game myself, I just remember my sister playing it when I was younger. That being said, supposed to get my hands on it this weekend, so we'll see if that sparks new thoughts 🙏], but I've been listening to a lot of Ghost lately and bring you something related to that instead. Just some short headcanons for the housewardens with an s/o who's, regardless of their aesthetic, an unexpectedly avid listener of things like Ghost [which is predominantly nu[?] metal with other genres in some of their other songs]. Like it just doesn't match up at all and it's just kind of jarring.

It's funny to me to imagine it as a sort of scenario where maybe the pair is busy doing something and one of them suggest they share a pair of earbuds to use as background noise and the mistake is made to give the reader control over what they're listening to and that's how the [to at least some of the housewardens, but likely not all of them] appalling reveal of reader's music taste is made. It's definitely not THAT bad, but it's like a punch in the gut when the last thing you're expecting is THIS.

[Also, just a side note, but if you've never listened to Ghost before, I recommend at least listening to "Darkness at the Heart of my Love" and "Mummy Dust" so you can get an idea of the range of their music. Maybe "Cirice" too. It's been kind of a hit or miss on talking to people about them lately, but with the movie having come out recently, I think they're getting around a bit more?]

YOU'VE NEVER ACTUALLY PLAYED THE GAME?? YOU TRAITOR! But at least you're getting the game now, atoning for your sins and whatnot- any new thoughts come around, feel free to wreck my inbox with them! XD

I've never heard of Ghost before, honestly- my music taste is absolutely an abomination! All I listen to is Fall Out Boy, musical songs and cheesy songs that have a veeeery clear storyline to them (I gotta picture a scenario to every song, it's easier that way, don't question it!), but honestly, those Ghost's songs are kind of a bop? I might add them to my Hype up playlist idk!

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS

Poor buddy didn't get to listen to any music with words in it as a kid! He was only allowed to listen to classical orchestra music...so when he got to NRC, Riddle was absolutely overwhelmed by the fact that there were so MANY different genres!

His taste is still pretty old-timey, though.

He's the sort to put on a "Wolfgang Mozart's BOPS" playlist (if their world has a Mozart...) and bust it down to some sick piano notes if he's alone lmao

So when the two of you are studying in the courtyard, you get on the topic of music and how it might help with studies. Riddle explains his tastes, and you try to explain yours with a mumbled "it's complicated..."

In the end, he goads you into playing some of your music so he can understand how you think

He nearly passes away when you first hit play

DRUMS??? GUITARS THAT ARE ELECTRIC MAYBE??? BEATS THAT AREN'T KEPT IN TIME BY A METRONOME IN THE BACKGROUND???

He's convinced you were one of those rebel-teens like Deuce was for a moment, before dismissing the idea.

Riddle just...can't come to terms with the difference of vibes between what YOU give off and the music you listen to.

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

"Huh."

That's literally all he has to say on the matter for a few hours, as you blast your music on a speaker while you join the Savanaclaw dorm for their morning workout (whether you were actually working out, or just providing encouragement)

The other dorm members are vibing to it, for sure! Ruggie especially is busting down a move every time he gets a break

But Leona? He just says "huh" and...that's it. He doesn't seem too interested in it while he's practicing and working out.

At the end of practice, he comes up and sits with you in the shade, gnawing on a piece of jerky. After a little while, he mentions how he didn't expect a herbivore to have decent music tastes.

"Oh, so you liked it?" You question

"I didn't say that." he responds.

So does he like it?? Does he hate it???

You may never know???

Jk, Ruggie tells you in secret later that Leona was listening to Ghost in his room that afternoon.

AZUL ASHENGROTTO

Lounging around the Mostro Lounge after closing time, waiting for Azul to finish his "managerial" duties, Floyd convinces you to put on some "Human Vibes"...in other words, music. So you pull out your phone and set it in a glass cup to make the sound louder, and put on one of your main playlists.

Floyd is absolutely crushing it with the dance moves to the songs (literally "crushing it", he's about to crush several plates as he tries to dance while washing dishes)

Jade is silent throughout the ordeal, probably not even hearing it over the vaccuum he's running all over the lounge.

A few songs go through before Azul bursts out of his VIP room, looking absolutely furious.

He yells at Floyd to turn off the music, but the eel just shrugs and points at you without explaining

Azul turns to you, absolutely confused. You turn down the music to a reasonable level, apologizing if it disturbed his work

"What....do you listen to in your spare time?" Is his main question. You can't tell if he's disgusted or simply confused. Flabbergasted might be the best word for it, honestly.

After you explained to him that, yes, this was your music taste, Azul takes your hand in his and gets on his knees, pursing his lips

"We'll get you fixed, don't worry, you'll be fine." :'(

Don't worry, though, he's just kidding, for sure!

He won't even pretend to understand why you listen to it, but he's not going to be completely opposed if you were to play that sort of music every now and then!

KALIM AL-ASIM

Dude!! He loves it fr fr!!

He tries his best to like everything that life has to offer, appreciating it however he can, but he genuinely likes this! Even though he can safely say that he didn't expect you to like this sort of things.

But fully expect him to go down a rabbit-hole for Ghost. He's going to go through a hyper-fixation with it for a few weeks, adding in their songs to the playlists that he puts on a speaker during the dorm's parties and casual hangouts

For some strange reason, though, he wants you to know that he likes the music as much as you do, so Kalim might randomly burst out into one of their songs and insist that you dance with him to his own singing??

He's so silly, but isn't that why you started dating him in the first place?

VIL SCHOENHEIT

"Oh, love, this most definitely isn't the right music for you, are you sure?"

He's so concerned when you play it during a "spa night" in the Pomefiore dorm. He genuinely thinks that you're possessed by a ghost or something. With the way you acted half the time, this was...not the sort of song he was expecting.

It's okay, though, he'll come around, you just have to gentle-parent him with your music taste for a while.

"Aww, come on, how do you know that you hate it if you don't try it~?" (Speaking as if you're trying to get him to eat vegetables LOL)

But after a while, maybe, hopefully, he'll tolerate it just a little bit more...maybe

IDIA SHROUD

I'm ngl, Idia strikes me as the type to listen to this group (and music in general) on occasion, mainly when he's intently engaged on projects and needs to focus, and when he's doing reading in the library- although he rarely goes to the library to to his projects since it's in a public space, he's rather not have his music accidentally blast out while some pop music is playing...he'd much rather have it be Ghost.

So when you're over at the Ignihyde dorm to assist him with some new gidget, he asks you to put on some music to alleviate the silence (not that he particularly minds silent moments when it's around you, but music helps him focus). You don't even think twice before putting on one of Ghost's songs.

His shoulders IMMEDIATELY tense up because Idia's thinking "oh my gosh they got onto one of MY playlists, they're going to see everything I have, they're going to judge me omg omg"

But then you apologize for your music, and poor Idia relaxes straight away when he realizes that it's your music you're playing instead of his!

He definitely didn't think you'd listen to that kind of stuff, but who is he to complain when there's a common music-vibe between you two??

MALLEUS DRACONIA

"Hey, Mal, you want to listen to some of my music?" You ask, holding out an earbud as the two of you sit together in the library.

Of course he's going to jump on the opportunity to hear some human music! Now, Malleus has mostly heard classical music, but he's heard bits and pieces of other pop songs here and there!

But as soon as he pops in the earbuds (after you painstakingly explain to him how to wear it), he goes silent and stock-still.

His eyes dilate and he's...just totally frozen (have you seen those memes of people listening to hardcore metal and putting their headphones on little hyperactive kids, who then go still? Yeah, that's how he is)

"This is superb music, my darling, did you make this yourself?" He's so excited, finally speaking once you turn off the music. You have to explain to Malleus that no, you didn't make any of this music, it's all stuff from other people.

Nonetheless, despite whatever vibe you give off, Malleus thinks that it's wonderful, and now will continue to associate this type of music with you forever and all eternity. Expect it to be playing every time you visit the Diasomnia dorm.

And everyone else in the dorm is going to be subjected to listening to it, as well. They all need to be well-versed in different genres of music, Malleus claims, and this kind especially is important (because it's your music!)

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

[hopelesslyromanticgay]

An Americano, Please? Part 3

Word count: 1.3K A/N: Just an FYI, I don't usually upload twice a day, I just felt particularly inspired today. As always, italics in quotation marks signify the speaking is using romanian dialect.

Y/N's POV:

I gotta admit. It hurt when Jenna didn't send me a text immediately. It's been two days, and still nothing.

Maybe it was a meaningless banter. Oh well. I guess I just really thought something could come out of it.

"What are you sulking about?" Nessa asks me one day after our shift. 

"I'm not sulking, I'm just a little sad because I didn't get a text from someone," I explain, "It's not like she owed me a text or anything, but I don't have to be ecstatic over the fact that she hasn't done so."

"Oh my god, you're into the American one," Nessa exclaims, "I knew it! I mean, she's gorgeous. Like if I were into girls I would definitely be into her." I take a sip of my cortado (half espresso, half milk) as I listen.

"Well in any case, she's probably not interested."

"Stop sulking, Y/N," Nessa scolds me, "Let's do something fun. Gotta get your mind off of this girl."

Since our shift just ended, and we have a whole afternoon ahead of us, Nessa and I take her car to Predeal, the closest thing to a modern city we have around here.

It's about seven miles, so about twenty minute drive. The town's mostly filled with ski resorts, but there's a few fun places to shop.

A great deal of the afternoon is spent sitting outside a store judging the tourists. 

"Oh my god she's probably saying something stupid like, 'I know it's winter but my husband will love this hawaiian T-shirt I bought in Romania,'" Nessa mimics the normal thought process of the typical tourist.

"This guy's even worse though,"  I stifle a laugh, mocking his actions.

After a thorough mockery of all of the Predeal tourists, we head back to our town, content with our afternoon.

I still haven't stopped thinking about Jenna, though. I wish I could have gotten to know her better. It's so nice to finally have someone I can talk to in English.

All I can do is hope that she comes back to the shop. Even then though, she probably won't want much to do with me.

Nessa drops me off at my apartment, waving goodbye. Almost instantly, I shed my winter coat, relieved by the warmth of the building.

The first thing I do is turn on the TV and open Netflix. A new baking show just dropped, and I'm not the type to turn down new entertainment.

The show turns out to be a combination of baking and engineering. It seems cool, but it's hard to tell from the first episode.

My phone lights up with a bright reminder Remember to feed Cupid!

Sighing, I get up from the couch and grab my fish flakes.

Cupid is my purple betta fish. She's about a year old and as of yet hasn't had too many health issues, which is super lucky for both of us. She's at the point where she recognizes my face. So when I go up to the tank, fish feed in hand, she eagerly swims up to the glass.

"Hey Cupid," I laugh, sprinkling some food into the tank.

After feeding her, I head back to the couch, where I continue watching my cooking show. Before I know it, I'm five episodes in and the sun is starting to set. I look out of the window, trying to gauge the temperature and weather condition.

It's a fairly clear twilight right now. There's a good chance I'll get to see stars tonight. Actually, I've decided I will see stars tonight.

I don my winter coat and make my way down the apartment complex stairs. One of the perks of not living in a huge city is that I can see the night sky beautifully.

One of my favorite places in town is on the outer edges of it. At this point, all of the buildings are housing, be it apartments or actual houses. The long stretches of pavement are perfect for strolling down while admiring the night. 

Not a lot of people choose to come out here late at night, which is honestly their loss. I wouldn't necessarily say I'm super into nature and the great outdoors, but when I am outside, I can find an appreciation for my surroundings.

So that's how I found myself strolling the streets of Bușteni Romania, not looking at the cement in front of me.

BAM! I find myself crashing into another person, almost knocking both of us over.

"Fuck, I am so sorry," I find myself defaulting to english, "I- I mean, I'm so sorry, are you okay?"

"Y/N?" A familiar voice asks.

"Jenna?" It may be dark, but I can just barely see the details of her face. God I hope she's not mad.

"Yep, it's me," I hear her faintly laugh.

"Are you okay? I almost knocked you over."

"I'm okay, just a little rattled."

"Sorry for that again," I apologize, "I should have been watching where I was going." 

"You could make it up to me by walking me to my apartment?" she offers.

"I'd like nothing more," I laugh, linking my arm with hers and we start to walk.

"So, Y/N, tell me about yourself," she starts the conversation.

"Well, my name's Y/N L/N, I work at a coffee shop. I speak English and Romanian, which is useful for when people like you come to the shop."

"I know that stuff," she interrupts me, "what do you like to do outside of work?"

"You know, the normal things, be around the people I care about, watch shows, I read sometimes, listen to music, that kind of stuff. What about you?"

"Well for starters, I'm Jenna Ortega, I also love to read and listen to music," she tells me, "I also like to write though, I have like, twenty scripts and stories sitting in my FinalDraft™ folder."

"Damn, you must really like writing," I respond, "that's pretty awesome."

"I guess so," she shrugs.

"Have you ever considered publishing your work?" I ask.

"Yeah, I actually published a book called It's All Love," she answers proudly.

"That's like, the coolest thing anyone's said to me all day," I tell her.

"I guess I'm just a cool person," she jokes, "I'm kidding, I'm kidding, only an arrogant person would say that."

"No, you have reason to say, it. You're a published author, the lead in a TV show, and fun to talk to. Don't discredit your own awesome-ness." 

She laughs, "thanks for saying that."

"Sure thing." 

"So, does your offer to take me around town sometime still stand?" she changes the subject.

"I'm a woman of my word, Jenna, if you still want a tour, you have my number," I remind her, trying to sound kind and cool at the same time. Which is kind of challenging.

"Oh my god, I forgot to text you, didn't I," she gasps, "I'm so so sorry, Y/N. I've just had so much going on." She starts to talk herself into a panic, "I have work for like, eight hours a day, plus cello lessons, plus german and fencing, it's just so much." If I had known how busy she was I never would have felt so hurt. That must be so overwhelming.

"Hey, it's okay, I'm not mad about it." Which is true. 

"That's such a relief," she exhales, "again, I'm so sorry."

"Hey, Jenna, it's okay. How about the next time you have a day off, we get in touch and I take you around town."

"Well, conveniently enough, my next day off is tomorrow, so how about I see you then?" she offers.

"I wouldn't be opposed to that," I smile, doing my best to hide how excited I am for this.

"Well this is my place," she announces, "thank you for walking me home." 

"Anytime," I reply, sad to know the night is ending. She heads through the door to her apartment, leaving me to walk the short five minutes to my apartment alone.

As soon as I get home, I dash to my bedroom, putting on pyjamas and getting ready for bed. I'm tired from the day. At at the same time, I'm so happy I got to see Jenna. I'm so excited that she wants to see me again, maybe tomorrow! I can't wait to get to know her better.

My phone lights up with a text from a new number

                       +1 ***-***-****

Does 11 AM tomorrow work for you?

-Jenna

I smile, quickly texting back 

                               Sure thing, see ya then :)

I can hardly wait.

[youaintnothinbuta]

Hello! I know you've written a lot of Jack Kelly lately, so please disregard this if you're feeling burnt out. I was wondering if you would be in the mood to write a Jack Kelly x reader where the reader is scarier to the newsies than Spot but during the strike, she and Jack start working closely together and it's clear that she's not all that bad, just tough on people that do her dirty.

“Who would have thought?” — jack kelly x reader

Summary: you and Jack are up all night together planning the way you’re going to stop the wagons. The morning after, the wagons have successfully been stopped, and the pair of you share an intimate moment of rest, as you realise you don’t always have to protect yourself from everyone.

Pairing: jack kelly x fem!reader

Word count: 908

Warnings: none, fluff, probably some typos you know meeee

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You sat together in a dimly lit alley that separated Brooklyn and Manhattan, with a map spread across a couple upside down milk crates.

Jack glanced at you, his cap casting a shadow over his eyes. “So, you got a plan?”

“Why am I here, again?” You sighed.

“Because, Y/N, you want better pay too, whether you admit it or not. And people listen to you.”

You studied the map intently, tracing the routes of the wagons with your finger. “Your area’s the smallest and theres more of you, I think your boys can handle that, we should be in Queens for when the bell rings.”

Jack nodded. “We need distractions, too. Get 'em looking the other way while we make our move.”

“Next time you speak, can you make it something helpful?” You snapped, his brows furrowing in response.

Hours passed, and the alley echoed with the soft murmur of your voices, punctuated by the occasional sound of a distant shout from the newsies preparing for the confrontation. The adrenaline built, but amidst the planning, a shift occurred – a subtle transformation in your disposition.

Jack stole a glance at you, a genuine curiosity in his eyes. “You know, you're kinda nice.”

“Nice?” You repeated.

“Yeah, you’re actually not as scary as everyone says.”

You looked up from the map, meeting his gaze. The walls you'd carefully built around yourself seemed to soften, if only for a moment. “We all got our roles to play, Jack.”

Jack leaned back, a smirk playing on his lips. “I've heard the stories. Brooklyn's enforcer, they call you. Meaner than Spot.”

A rare chuckle escaped your lips. “Spot's got his way of leading, I got mine. Keeps the streets in order.”

As the night wore on, the initial skepticism that Jack harbored began to dissipate. The shared purpose, the planning, and the unspoken camaraderie melted the icy reputation that preceded you.

Jack's playful banter continued, each word chipping away at the tough exterior you'd carefully crafted. “You gotta have a soft spot somewhere in you, you know.”

You shot him a sidelong glance, a hint of a smile playing on your lips. “Maybe, but you'll never find it.”

The atmosphere shifted as the night wore on, the impending confrontation with the wagons looming over your plans. You were up late into the night, and then early into the morning, making sure every newsie knew what the plan was, in order to actually make this strike a success.

***

As you approached the Manhattan lodging house, Jack, with his cap pulled low to shield his eyes from the early morning sunlight, greeted you with a half-smile. The adrenaline that fueled the morning’s activities still pulsed through your veins, a shared victory in your tired yet satisfied eyes.

Jack spoke first, his voice raspy from the long night. “Well, we did it. Those wagons won't be rolling through today.”

You nodded, a sense of accomplishment washing over you. “Yeah, we did do it.”

The night's successful plan to halt the wagons had taken its toll, leaving both of you fatigued and in need of a moment of respite. Jack's room offered a brief refuge, away from the clamor of all the other newsies sharing stories and reveling in the victory.

As you entered, the worn-out furniture and scattered newspapers created a cocoon of familiarity. Jack, with a reassuring smile, gestured toward his bed, teasing you slightly, “Sit down, tiger. We've earned a break.”

The weariness weighed on your shoulders, and without resisting, you sank onto Jack's bed. You and Jack exchanged a glance, the unspoken acknowledgment of shared victories and silent pride.

Jack, with a knowing smile, settled beside you, his presence offering a sense of security that allowed your guard to momentarily slip away.

As your eyes fluttered closed, your body drifted closer to his. The protective aura he exuded made it easy to surrender to the exhaustion that had accumulated throughout the night. For once, it felt like you didn't have to protect yourself. Your head gently found its way to his chest, falling asleep curled up on him.

Unbeknownst to you, Jack, too, succumbed to the weariness. The room, draped in a calm silence, cradled the two of you in a moment of reprieve.

Time slipped away as both of you rested. Yet, as the morning sunlight continued its ascent, your brain had finally caught up to you. Panic momentarily gripped you as you realised you had fallen asleep with Jack.

Startled, you jumped off of him, the remnants of sleep dissipating quickly. “I— I shouldn't have—“

But before you could finish your sentence, Jack's reassuring voice cut through your anxiety. “Hey, settle down, tough girl. Our secret. You deserve this.“

His words lifted the weight off your shoulders. Jack pulled you back into his embrace, dispelling the fear that had momentarily clouded the room. Jack's arms wrapped around you once more, holding you close as you let your eyes fall shut again. You got comfortable, laying on his body, his fingers beginning to trace patterns on your back, causing you to let out a relaxed sigh.

“Who would have thought? Your soft spot is here, in my bed.” He whispered, teasing you.

“Wrong. I don’t have one, remember.” You mumbled, a small smile tugging on your lips.

“Yeah, sure.” Jack laughed.

[bubacorn]

thank you @tonguetyd and @sleepiesttoken for the tag! 💜 so... 6 albums i've been enjoying lately

…And I Return to Nothingness by Lorna Shore

sometimes i feel like i don't know what i want to listen to, so i choose Will screaming into my ears. it's a good listen especially when you're struggling to do your shopping amongst a bunch of obnoxious elderly people

favorite song: i'll always be partial to To the Hellfire cause it was the first song i heard from them, but also Of the Abyss is *mwah*

2. technically and EP, but whatever One by Sleep Token

i gotta admit, up until recently, i didn't really listen to One. it was okay, but i just didn't click with it. then the other day for some reason Thread the Needle was stuck in my head, so i spent the last few days listening to the album on repeat

favorite song: i'm gonna say When the Bough Breaks at the moment

3. technically it's not a full album yet, but Keep Me Fed by The Warning

i'm excited about this one. when it came out, i didn't like S!CK that much, but then i also listened to the other two new songs and they got stuck in my head on repeat

favorite song: MORE is a banger, but i also like This Hell You Call A Dream a lot

4. Live in London by Zeal & Ardor

i know i keep bringing up this one, but it's just so, so good

favorite song: right now it's Ship on Fire (my brain sometimes goes 'we got seven different letters in seven rows' out of nowhere, and the word 'widdershins' just sounds so satisfying the way Manuel says it)

5. Take Me Back To Eden by Sleep Token

i promise, i listen to music other than Sleep Token, but TMBTE is just a masterpiece, i start playing Chokehold, and then the next thing i know Euclid is coming to an end. bangers all around

favorite song: i'm gonna say Aqua Regia, just to pick one and not mull over it

6. technically not an album, but it's my best friend, my pal, my homeboy, my rotten soldier, my sweet cheese, my good-time boy Jaws by Sleep Token

sometimes, listening to Jaws is like coming home in a way? i do a lot of editing/writing to Jaws (and Dark Signs), i think mostly because of the steadiness of them, and the way they can feel like you're playing one long song, and it's familiar, so my brain doesn't get stuck on the lyrics. i usually can't study/write listening to music with lyrics (or just a certain few albums). Jaws is just so inexplicably special to me

tagging @a-s-levynn @takemetoasgard @stellasplendens @herbal-quintessence @polteergeistt @whataboutyouisamascot (if you want to, of course, no pressure) 🌻 have a lovely day, everyone!

[funforahermit]

It's funny how being a fan of Rhys Darby has led me to become a fan of a lot of his friends as well. That's never happened to me before, with any of my other crushes, and I don't really know what's different this time?? Maybe it means that I just really have a thing for kiwis, who knows 'xD But let's see -

There's Jonno Roberts of course, absolute comedic GENIUS, pipes like you wouldn't believe, actor par excellence, and sexy as fuck. His on screen chemistry with Rhys is off the charts, even better than Rhys and Taika imo (controversial opinion alert 'xD), but I find that I also enjoy watching Jonno on his own. And the little bit I know of his personal life is endearing as heck, not least because he's a firm trans ally.

David Farrier, irresistable mixture between fearless journalist and complete mess! Dark Tourist, Tickled, Mister Organ - those are all deeply fascinating documentaries, and I can never decide if I want him to tell me more about the deepest darkest secrets of humanity or if I want him to get the hell out of there and stay away from danger for god's sake 'xD Lately I've been going through his podcast Flightless Bird, and just... everything he talks about is really interesting and compelling. And yes, the accent helps, I admit that. Also, bonus points for being a fellow bisexual 🤟

Jemaine Clement!!! God he's hot. Like is it just me or is he just..... SO hot. Like damn. I'm sure I could also talk at length about his talent, but I am kind of distracted. Fuck.

Bret McKenzie: I adore his solo album Songs Without Jokes, I listened to it so many times when it came out, and now all the songs are part of my permanent playlist. I love them to bits.

The last two together, obviously, are the best duo ever and I can't get enough of their songs or their comedy.

Steve Wrigley! Now I'm not gonna lie, I'm not the biggest fan of his stand-up and for the longest time I couldn't understand why Rhys would insist on touring with him and make him his opening act all the time. But I get it now. I've grown to love him for the amazing friend that he is, and for looking after Rhys so perfectly - even if some of his jokes make me go a bit :/ (The Ohakune airport story is hilarious though!)

Dan Schreiber - NOT a kiwi! 'xD Amazing brain, amazing way with words, amazing spirit of adventure, amazing sense of humour. One of these days I'm gonna listen to all his other podcasts (beside the Cryptid Factor I mean), just haven't found the time yet.

I feel like this is an uncomplete list, but I gotta go and do some real life stuff now.. Just wanted to say that I love them!! And I've got Rhys to thank for knowing them at all.

[sweetstarart]

Ahoy neighbors!! Here's how Howdy's day went (sorry I'm so late!!)

Sunrise

Eddie and I are thick as theives! He's the only person who gets up at the same time as me (other than Sally). While we scrubbed the decks, I told him about my current interest. Ghosts. I got to tell him about auras and possession and he actually sounded interested! I'm so glad that I joined this crew, my home town just didn't view things the way they should've. Wally is up early too, is he opening his necklace? Wait a second, that's an apparitious pendant! Those things are only used to seal incredibly dangerous ghosts...

This can't be good.

Noon

I can't believe our ship is possessed! On any other occasion, I'd be over the moon about this but that whole pendant thing has me worried. Especially since Barn's suddenly come down with something. I spoke to him and he says he's really dizzy and can't sleep. I asked him when he started feeling these symptoms and he said it's when he was about to tell the ghost to leave. That can't be a coincidence. I had a theory, but I decided to investigate a bit more before jumping to conclusions. After gathering some information my suspicions were proven to be correct, Barnaby was under the weather due to a failed possession. Luckily, I have just the thing for that! While we were talking, a thought crossed my mind, if the spirit was in the pendant, then their power should be stripped to the point where they can only possess objects. The fact they even attempted to latch onto a sentiment host is strange...

What could they be after? Maybe I should've asked Barnaby before I put him to sleep, he mainly babbles and barks when he's tired. Its really sweet, but I don't have time to think about that now. I've gotta get to the bottom of this.

Sunset

I've spent the entire day buried in my books and I've come up with a theory. There's not much supporting it but its the best I've got for now. What if the ghost (who I've overheard Wally is named Home) is trying to control us? Think about it, everyone on this crew listens to the captain. If Home manages to get their hands on that vessel without us realizing, they could make us do whatever they want. That might be why they possessed our ship, they'd be able to watch us and hear us no matter what. They'd learn exactly what to do to manipulate everyone on deck.

I hope I'm wrong. That'd be seriously messed up. I gotta tell Barnaby about this at some point. I have an idea though! Possession takes a lot of energy, meaning as long as Home remains the boat, they'll have to sleep. When they go to sleep, that's when we'll discuss our plan.

Wait a second, are the mates trying to start a band? God i wish I brought my fiddle with me!

Night

Home went back into their pendant! Nows my time to strike. I knocked on the door, thank the stars he's awake. I told him about my theory, he told me that if they really were stripped of their power, there would be no possibility of them hurting us. But we both know that ghosts can get stronger though different means. For Barn, its food. For Home? We aren't sure.

We have to get more information on them, I said I'd spend tonight skimming through all my books to get as much info as possible, he told me not to. He says he's been asleep all day, so he'll make up for it by doing the work for me. I hate to admit it, but I actually am really tired right now.

I have an idea, I'll sleep in here tonight, that way he can wake me up whenever he needs help/ a break. He better not let me sleep through this. If we don't figure out what Home wants, they could doom us all. Also, he's been working much too hard lately and I can tell its stressing him out.

[itsclydebitches]

With all the discussion of CRWBY/RT's apparent obsession with heroic sacrifices in RWBY as of late (and how poorly framed/managed they are), a part of me can't help but wonder if they're trying to chase the high of Epsilon/Church's sacrifice at the end of Red VS Blue Season 13. (Here's the scene in question for context: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5jM_mrOqec) Which I will admit, I found to be a pretty good scene as a sendoff to the character and at the time thought it was a nice way to end the show. Though RT ended up souring it by continuing on with season 15.

Thank you for the clip! I obviously have no idea what RT's motivations might be regarding the prevalence of these sacrifices - is it "chasing the high" or is RvB just early evidence of a writing trend? - but regardless, I like this a whole lot more than what RWBY's been giving us. I think this has a nice balance between the somber, emotional soundtrack and the funny one-liners that sound like they're core summaries of many character's personalities (unlike Weiss who suddenly becomes the comic relief). I like that Church (if I'm right about how is speaking there) doesn't actually end with "...I hate you all the least!" but has his actual goodbye speech once he's privately recording. I'm missing a ton of the nuances of his argument, but I like that it at least comes across as thought out: he's reassuring the AI voice that he's sure about this, he lays out how the sacrifice will hopefully help the others survive, he acknowledges that he's only here in the first place because of them, and there's some element of being "held back" that this sacrifice would do away with. Finally, I LOVE the self-referential acknowledgement that heroes don't get to see if their sacrifice was worth it (which is one of the problems with having Penny die and then chat with Winter, or Ruby drinking the tea and then waking up fine in the tree: suicide presented as just a journey where you don't really lose your connection to life), ending with the blank screen. We don't get to know if they win either! We are emotionally connected to Church in this moment, experiencing the story through him, and like him we don't get the reassurance of knowing whether the others survived! (Well, until you hit Season 14, apparently lol). You've just gotta have faith that the sacrifice meant something - "aint that a bitch."

And all this, I want to stress, is coming from someone who has NEVER watched more than like two episodes of RvB,which I've now totally forgotten. This scene is the entirety of my context... and I enjoyed it. Which I bring up largely because of the Moistcritikal drama. Personally, I take issue with the idea that someone's negative opinion of a clip is unreliable because they haven't seen the rest of the show. Does that mean then that my enjoyment is unreliable too? Most RWBY fans wouldn't say so because, after all, why would you get mad about others agreeing with you? They're only up in arms because he was critical of the show, rather than praising it, despite both situations stemming from the same ignorance. To say nothing of the fact that criticism is dismissed even when fans (like me) do keep up with the canon, a ton of the side material, are immersed in fandom, and are present for every major development. Doing everything "right," apparently, still doesn't earn you any trust in your opinion, so... why was all that necessary again?

I do believe that context (for obvious reasons) can severely skew an opinion one way or another. For example, I recently saw a new Magnus Archives listener saying that although they were loving the podcast, it really took them out of it to try and believe that all these people just happened to write down perfectly composed, poetic narratives about their experiences. I so wanted to say that there was a reason for this. That, eventually, the podcast would reveal a canonical explanation for how this occurs, taking what's originally a huge aspect of suspension of disbelief - arguably to the point of annoyance - and reframing it as a major worldbuilding detail that enhances the enjoyment instead of detracting from it. So there are obviously cases like that, just like I might enjoy the RvB scene more or less depending on my experience with the rest of the show... but that doesn't mean my enjoyment now is wrong? Nor is Moistcritikal's lack of enjoyment wrong. I find the 'Oh, you just don't understand and you're willingness to speak on the topic without every scrap of information is insulting' to be, itself, a pretty insulting response. This desire to invalidate someone's honest opinion of what they've been given is an issue on its own, but beyond that, a good show should be able to read well even without the rest of the context. Hasn't anyone ever analyzed a clip of a show in school that they enjoyed? Gotten excited over an ambiguous moment in a trailer? Decided to watch something based on just a video/GIF-set here on tumblr with no other info? Good media is good even when you don't fully know what's going on and bad media will read badly without the distraction of already being emotionally connected to the show. Toss in the fact that people can pick up a fair bit of context from the scenes themselves and that Moistcritikal had fans in the chat explaining the situation. People can still look at a clip and think the dialogue is badly written, or the acting shoddy, or the animation poor, or the whole conflict - once explanations are given - to be pretty badly conveyed. None of this takes an intimate knowledge of nine Volumes to develop an opinion on. Moistcritikal might miss character dynamic details like Yang standing in front of a passive Blake to 'protect' her from her little sister, but he can still respond to the general gist of the situation and the ways in which it was executed.

[broadway-feferi]

all because of her crush on that jade human her poor lowblood though sollux or somefin tried to warn her waterever its a win either way for me lyrics under the cut btw wrote em myshellf

Jade:

thank you for saving me!

what’s your name?

Feferi:

Oh glub, um, I’m Feferi!

Jade:

feferi? how cute!

well, thank you feferi!

Feferi:

Come on Fef, this is so not like you!

I mean, she was, really, pretty…

But that’s not the point!

Oh, this is a bad idea…

Meenah:

My dear, sweet Feferi, that's what I

do! It's what I live for! To help

unfortunate fishfolk like yourself.

Poor souls with no one else to turn to

I admit that in the

past I've been a nasty

They weren't kidding when

they called me, well, a bitch

But you'll find that nowadays

I've mended all my ways

Repented, seen the

light, and made a switch

True? Yeah

And I fortunately know some uncommon sense

It's a talent that I

always have possessed

And here lately, please don't laugh

I use it on behalf

Of the miserable, lonely

and depressed (Pathetic)

Poor unfortunate souls

In pain

In need

Tuna longing to be saner

Kankri wants to get the girl

And do I help them?

Yes, indeed

Those poor unfortunate souls

So sad

So true

They come flocking to my kingdom

Crying, "Save me, Meenah, please!"

And I help them?

Yes, I do

Now it's happened once or twice

Someone couldn't pay the price

And I'm afraid I had to

rake 'em 'cross the coals

Yes, I've had the odd complaint

But on the whole, I've been a saint

To those poor unfortunate souls

Meenah:

Now, here's the deal: I’ll make you a

potion that’ll turn you into a human

for three days. Got that? Three days.

Now, listen. This is important: before

the sun sets on the third day, you've

got to get ol' jadey to fall in love

with ya, that is, she's gotta kiss

ya; not just any kiss, the kiss of

True Love. If she does kiss you before

the sun sets on the third day,

you'll remain human permanently!

But, if she doesn't, you turn back into

a troll and... you’ll be culled by me!

Sollux:

No, Feferi!

Meenah:

Have we got a deal?

Feferi:

If I become human, I'll never be

with my fronds or lusus again

Meenah:

That's right

But, you'll have your human. Life's

full of tough choices, innit? 

Oh! And there is one more thing! 

We haven't discussed the subject of payment!

You can't get something for nothing ya know

Feferi:

But I don't have any-

Meenah:

I'm not asking much. Just a

token, really! A trifle!

You not gonna miss it

What I want from you is... your throne

Feferi:

My throne?

Meenah:

You've got it, sweet cakes. 

I’ll be the heiress, and you’ll be human

Feferi:

But what about the wrigglers? How can I -

Meenah:

You'll have your land dwellers! 

Your human Jade! So there’s no need 

To worry about those stupid lowbloods! Ha!

The fish up there don't

like a lot of glubbin’

They think a gal who worries is a bore

Yes, on land, it's much preferred

for ladies not to say a word

about the environment, the 

homeless, or the poor?

Come on, they're not all that

impressed with conversation

True “activists” avoid it when they can

But they dote and swoon and fawn

On a lady who's withdrawn

It's she who holds her

tongue who gets humans

Come on, you poor unfortunate soul

Go ahead

Make your choice

I'm a very busy woman

And I haven't got all day

It won't cost much

Just your throne

You poor unfortunate soul

It's sad

But true

If you want to cross

the bridge, my sweet

You've got to pay the toll

Take a gulp and take a breath

And go ahead and sign the scroll

(Look here Serkets, now I've got her, y’all)

The boss is on a roll

This poor unfortunate soul

[s-e-v-e-n-24]

States as Rainbow Kitten Suprise songs, part 1

How to: Friend, Love, Freefall

Pacific Love - Alaska/Hawai'i

No look no look platonic or romantic he is a simp for her

Hold my hand darling

Pull me in your waters

When you call my name, I'll be on my way

Mission to Mars - California

Ohhhhhhh my god oh my god. Ok, so. The song generally is about a performer, presumably in a space like Hollywood, fighting hard to cling to their 15 minutes of fame, and trying desperately to stay in the spotlight. Please. Please. I wanna do a whole analysis on this oh my god

But basically, Hollywood Cali

Heard it booming at parties, whispered in homes

The pundits on the radio won't leave it alone

I heard it once, heard it twice

Heard it well enough to tell

They say the mission to Mars, is destined to fail now

And I love how in the end, the last part is the same sentiment, but hopeful

Fever Pitch - Utah/Illithiya

Them being good for eachother my beloved and him being a simp, but more then that, her inevitable death. Her lifespan that will end before his and the bittersweet in every happy moment tainted just a bit by the future. And his hope that maybe, maybe he might be able to join her in an eternity

Hallelujah

The iron king sings a song for the lover

The leaver, the lonely, and like

Young love waits

If I can then I'll meet you at the gate of St. Peter

It's called: Freefall - Gov and California

I love when I can make a song apply to a character in 2 different ways

1, Gov is the devil referenced in the song. This works both in how Gov is Not a good character, but also in the way the Devil interacts with the speaker. Both comforting and concerned, as well as a more tough love approach

2, he is the speaker. The one who stays up late and isolates himself from others and won't admit when he's wrong

Called to the Devil and the Devil said

Hey! Why you been calling this late?

It's like 2 A.M. and the bars all close at 10 in hell, that's a rule I made

Anyway, you say you're too busy saving everybody else to save yourself

And you don't want no help, oh well

That's the story to tell

Now with Cali, he is most definitely just the speaker. It is very much about the self destruction and unlike Gov where it'smore about never ending work and a deepset exhaustionthat won't leave it's more violent, especially with friendships, and the inability to recognize his own wrongs

Some day's end when I need a few friends

Now and again I could never hope to keep them

Thought to give friends what I thought that they wanted

Never had they needed a good friend as I've been

Don't get me venting on friends who resent you

'Cause all you've ever done is been a noose to hang on to

They thought was a necklace and reckless they fell into hell

Where you both hang with nothing to do but

Holy War - Texas

Is it mostly him cause it mentions Dallas? Yeah. But also the parts that allude to a relationship

I see it said in your eyes

All the time

You ain't gotta tell me you're fine babe

They call that Holy War in Dallas

They call for Holy War

On us

Matchbox - Calivada

Quite literally going feral I cannot use words to explain how it fits them just look at the lyrics like a nice, soft love, but maybe a but bitter as it is ended, or ending, due to someone wanting more in life and accidentally leaving a relationship in ruins but maybe it's more a mutual thing, left and discarded, all the while thinking "Well, it's not all on me. They have to talk to me too" And leads them to a premature end to a good thing that maybe wasn't that good maybe it was rotted under the surface and needed work that was always ignored but dammit it was theirs

Or maybe I'm looking too much into this

I also love that it references Mission To Mars

You're a master of passive-aggressive magic tricks

Like, that's not a card that I would've picked but it's your life to live like how you'd like to live

You're type of cool that likes to talk a lot

I'm the type of fool to listen

Salutations to Apollo

While the Mission To Mars is surely soon to follow

And you bit my lip when I kissed you

I bit my tongue not to tell you that I miss you

We shared my blood for an instant and I would trade some more to have it back

Yeah I would trade all of this for that

Everybody I know wants to be a star

Just above the atmosphere flying high

Just above the average fear to try

Keeping me grounded, holding me down for miles

Everybody I know wants the gleam

In designer tops and ten dollar magazines

Infatuated with the beams, you go crazy when I speak

I'm the asshole who keeps laughing at our predicaments

Like this ain't the life that I should've picked

But it's the cards we're dealt we play with

Shit

Moody Orange - Florsiana

I dunno what it us, it's just them. It's chaotic and a rush, and a constant movement and maybe some behaviors in the sing encouraged by the other are not healthy, but there is love there, and it is pure through all the ups and downs. They are a team, and partners, and willingly to try again despite it all

I love the way you know how

I love the way you walk out

I love the way you shut it

Down

Now

Paint it moody orange

Does help that Florida loves oranges

Hide - NJ/NY

When related to specifically them, a denial of feelings and a fear of being vulnerable

I hate you more than I miss you

That's not true, I'd hate to miss you

Anywhere I go anywhere you've been before

I get the chance to say goodbye

Or hello I mean you don't call you don't write

You know I've been up for forty days and forty nights and all my fears have multiplied

By the silence in your eyes

Better hide your love, hide your love

Don't let it slip away, don't let it slip away

When It Lands - Calivada

Peak Calivada. In the middle of their on and iff relationship when everything is good, and sure maybe the good feelings are just the partying and the rush, and sure maybe things have started to fall apart again, maybe there's a longing, a deep issue of missing the other so much but never seeming to be around d them that ruins it everytime but maybe they don't have to think about that right now

Sugar city

Pretty magic

Got me good vibes

Thank God I ain't driving

Traffic vision

Blurred blue bleedin'

That's a black out ladder

It don't matter anyhow

I'm climbing

Keep my good vibes

And check coats for cool climates

In common we got

Good friends rolled light on split ends

Pretty magic

Traffic addicts

And I never call back when my friends all looking at me in the car

'Cause it'd be all they wanna talk about

Oh you tryna to get a deal? A deal? A deal

Sorry on the real

But my eyes and my ears don't work well

And the floor keeps sliding out my heels

I can't feel 'em am I still dreaming?

Painkillers - Colorado

Just generally, him and addictions and struggles with living

Living just comes with a bit of heartache

Heartache comes with a bit of young faith

Faith stays young till your heart get broken

Hope grows up to become someday

Recktify - New York

Just- The fast paced tempo and the lyrics that barely have time to breath and the constant shift in topics lends itself to the atmosphere of a city like NYC, and the temperament of New York himself

Especially the end, it reads to me like overstimulation maybe in a meeting and it's so much and going so fast and maybe he's arguing only to end up being pulled away from a fight He barely remembers starting

You're making a scene

You're making a scene baby

To wreck the scene

To wreck the scene

To rekt

Possum Queen - California/NY/Florida

And this is a thing to be further expanded on, but New York and his failed relationships in the ways of being a little bit unstable and commitment issues

Like him spending winters with Florida, having flings, but never settling and fearing his touch in any other season. Or a past relationship with California where they both were shit and maybe it was the intimacy of knowing eachothers issues so deeply but it's missed. Not in the way they'd do it again, but that they cannot hate eachother, and they loved eachother while it lasted, and maybe they'd be able to try again but for know it's tired smiles and small limes that allude to knowing more then they let on

This will last forever

And when it doesn't, love it for what it is

Don't miss it the way I do

The way I used to

If you love it, love it for what it's been

Don't miss it

Don't wish it back

Don't wish it'd last 'cause if it doesn't

Love it for what it is

Don't miss it the way I do

Don't miss it

Don't miss it the way I miss you

Polite Company - Mississippi

If I'm being honest most of this was cause ballerina Sippi, but honestly vibes anyway

I only want what I can't have

If you love me, give me nothing

Nothing

[residentraccoon]

Esc 2023 Top 37

1. Moldova - Might be biased, might not, this is staying as my first, I love everything about this

2. Portugal - Man these upbeat, slightly retro songs with a touch of ethnic flavor are like a magnet to me, I'm absolutely loving this as well lmao

3. Latvia - How can such a soft and sweet song like this be so powerful at the same time. This is the Með hækkandi sól of this year for me, and I hope they'll surprise Q just like Systur did

4. Estonia - It gives me so much hope and confidence in myself, like it's empowering but not in a cheesy way. The instrumental is pure art as well

5. Czechia - Yes girls bring the harmonies. It's been playing in my head a lot lately

6. Norway - *sigh* okay I fell into liking this one, I admit. I overlooked the earworm-ness of this song and she carries the whole performance so well.

7. Australia - Had to put it in my top 10, dated dad rock never fails to dissapoint me (unless said dad rock is called Intention)

8. Iceland - Sounds a bit 80s which I love, she has so much energy on stage

9. Slovenia - Such a charming britpop, I love these guys

10. Finland - The power of cha cha cha has gotten to me, send help 🫣

11. France - What a neat bop, also love her style a lot

12. Spain - Sounds pretty bizarre and hypnotic, I actually like how hauting it sounds lol

13. Serbia - Same as Spain, his presence is also really cool ngl

14. Sweden - Grew off me a bit, I must say that the staging is really good, but in studio it really doesn't elevate to the same way it does live. As much as I like Loreen, her staging, and her song, which is good indeed, I don't really want her to win? It's weird I know lmao

15. Austria - I've seen this being very popular in the fandom but honestly beside the message and the vocals it just doesn't really do that much for me. It's catchy yes, but not something I'd go out of my way to listen tbh

16. Armenia - Didn't quite impress me but gotta appreciate that clumsy but sweet english used in her lyrics. They feel so real

17. Malta - Kinda grower?? The sax is too catchy

18. Italy - It's a very sweet, calming song. I noticed Italy is pretty underrated this year, which is a bit weird because they're always talked about

19. Germany - Wish I liked this one more but I feel it lacks more enthusiasm or power? Still I kinda like this glam rock style

20. Georgia - Oh my god girl what are those lyrics? Tag yourself I'm "love is a wordless". Other than that, I like the beat but man, those lyrics are giving me last stage dyslexia and totally ruin the song for me :(

21. Romania - It's not the worst song of this year 😤 I know most are put off because of that staging but listen the studio or his other live versions and I assure you it's more bearable this way. Even so, I agree that one might find the vocals grating or the pacing weird, but honestly I don't have a problem with that. It's a pretty competent song.

22. Denmark - Get rid of that awful vocoder and we'll talk later. I really like how colorful the music video is, and it's another one that I started liking a bit more, but still doesn't do that much for me

23. Netherlands - Yawned like 3 times listening to this, it's pleasant but that's it

24. Azerbaijan - Ahh finally they're sending something self-written and not produced by swedes. Even if it sounds like a camp rock-esque ballad that's a bit filler, I find it more heartfelt and authentic than literally everything else Azerbaijan wanted to bless us with in recent years, and hell, do I like this more than those ones

25. United Kingdom - A pretty nice pop song, but that's all I have to say. I think it will come alive more on stage

26. Ukraine - It's decent and catchy, nothing groundbreaking

27. Cyprus - Other than the chorus, it's extremely bland and way too polished imho

28. Switzerland - I quite liked the pacing of it, but those lyrics get a bit too much on the "war bad, give us points" side which rubs me the wrong way. That or I might be overanalyzing it

29. Lithuania - Too whiny for my ears, but the final part is pretty cute

30. Albania - What turkish soap opera is this, I need to know. Speaking of the song, I feel like it wants to be this grand, empowering ballad but falls flat and fails to be so

31. Belgium - Well, it's catchy and groovy and that's about it

32. Greece - Why does this remind me of Snap a bit? Maybe it's the rhythm or his pronunciation. I love how his voice sounds, but I feel like this song really doesn't do him justice. It kind of builds up to something but in the end nothing happens

33. Ireland - If the word "bland" would be a song. Just a typical, most Irish in Eurovision entry there is. No offense, their vocals are good at least

34. Israel - Sounds like 2012, not in a good way. Repeats the same thing in the chorus, tries to be a bOPppPp yassss grl powahhhh, we're bein phenomen femininallll today yassss dance break cuz we are quwueennzzz- okay sorry, this one has everything I dislike in a song ever. Halfway listening I wanted to close it, but I had to finish it to have a proper opinion and rank it

35. Poland - Same as Israel but somehow even less tolerable and more painfully generic, walmart Inna vacation at the beach kind of song I'd hear while taking a walk outside. Also the nf shitstorm helps me dislike the song even more, and I didn't even listen to Jann Gladiator

36. San Marino - Please this sounds like something I'd hear in Selectia Nationala in like 2017 that places last 😭

37. Croatia - This doesn't even remotely sound like a song, I'm sorry but could never listen to this more than the first minute

[jungwnies]

*peeks shyly from the door*

hi

hey baby girl, how are you?

sorry for being a lil mia, I gotta admit october wasn’t the best month for me and november isn’t looking that great either (not worse but not better just a little meh), some stuff happened personally and let’s just say I’ve been in the need of a break

good/bad news is that im officially starting therapy once again tomorrow! yup, last month really set the line for it hehe

it’s a little bittersweet you know, thinking you’re getting better but then not idk just really blue u.u

but okay! i didn’t come here to make you gloomy, i mean yeah last month sucked but at least taylor dropped a new album ^^

also ive been talking and getting closer with my dad a lot these past few weeks so that’s nice, actually the whole reason why im back in therapy is cause he cares and got really worried about my state so gotta thank dad!<33

i also loved seulgi’s solo debut (slaaay) and last time i popped in here i started rewatching glee and guess who already finished it? me :D

i also rewatched shadowhunters and now im starting ted lasso! (I’ve heard is a great show and so far so good!)

kinda shocked tho it’s already November and omg the end of the years is in a couple of weeks omG STOP

n e ways, what have you been up to? my guess is school but tell me how do you feel about it? or if you don’t want to talk about school that’s okay just tell me how you’ve been and how you’ve enjoyed your days? ^^

sending lots of love to you darling

i don’t know when I’ll pop back in here so as usual: eat your meals, drink your water, listen to your favorite artists, read/write when you want to and don’t overwork yourself <33

you can do it! 파이팅 ^^

-🧸anon

omg hi :) i'm so sorry to hear the past two months have been SUCKY, but i'm glad you've gotten a break because everyone needs one at some point !!! therapy is never something bad, the reason for going might not be the best reason but the outcome will be better than nothing, right? <3 omg... also i love taylor's album, some of my fav songs on there are maroon, snow on the beach, and lavender haze 🫶 it's always nice to be recognized by a parent and receive their love and care, so i'm glad you've got comfort, love, and support from your dad. 28 reason by seulgi is actually heaven sent, it's sooooo good omg ?!?!?! there's only a few weeks left in the year, i feel like this year passed by sooo quickly it's bittersweet LOL

lately i've been super busy, i got a job recently (i love it so much, it's so easy but all my coworkers are so fun and sweet) and school has been pretty chill, exams started though so i'm studying like there's no tomorrow LMFAO

i also got post nasal drip so i'm like suffering from a dry cough, it hurts so much LMFAO... i just got medicine for it today so hopefully it goes away soon 👍

i started love in contract, i also finished it and it was one of the best kdramas i've watched 10/10 recommend

make sure you eat your meals, drink your water, listen to your favorite artists as well <3

[breathlesswordsbloodyknees]

fuck. if i start thinking i won't stop. hands shaking in the slightest ways, at the ready to overwhelm. like soldiers in a line. i have to remind myself that i have til noon tomorrow to go back to work (even though it's a bell to bell day, i think i'm just gonna skip the morning which i'm sure the gm will have something to say) it's halloween. normally i'm so excited. i was gonna wear my shark costume to work. lmao not anymore.

but there's no way around it, gotta go through it. whatever happens happens. but it happened it's over it's done and all i know is "serious steps have been taken"

i need a new fucking job. i can't stand the idea of working a deal with him, and it's near unavoidable at some point. i mean yeah, i'm moved. but it doesn't work like that.

been listening to Placeholder over and over and over and now I'm on Nothing Feels Good Anymore. because well, yeah. nothing feels good anymore. not the car sales, not the writing (though i am proud of that, i expressed a lot that i usually shove down) not the relief from the hr investigation being done. just the fallout.

all i can do is sit with the feelings. there's the rational logical legal reasons he's not fired. and i can acknowledge that.

but the feelings. how is it every time they feel like the worst thing i've experienced. and i've gone through a fucking lot. but this might be taking the cake. like i put myself out there, i did the 'right' thing. the brave thing. everyone keeps telling me that. that i'm so brave, that i'm helping others, that what i did matters.

but nothing feels good anymore. so we search sad angry pop punk on spotify and hope to cry it out.

which lately has only been in silent moments at my desk when i just can't help it staring blankly at my computer, crouched outside the dealership hoping a customer doesn't come by, in my car outside my house in the moments before i unbuckle my seatbelt. stifled breakdown while trying to watch the first predator movie at my friend's house.

i don't know if i've ever had as severe a breakdown as that, i feel bad for my friends for having to witness it. but the shaking, the tension, the vise around my heart getting tighter and tighter. and cold, so fkn cold. like the time i got locked out of the house in the middle of chicago winter. footprint in the ice.

if i cry at home, really the wracking shaking loud sobs that i need, my dog, the love of my life, gets so upset. pounces on me and licks my face relentlessly. she's trying to do what she can, and it's very sweet, but i can't let it out. anywhere. i mean everyone's either worried about me or uncomfortable and i can't blame them. even my customer picked up on it when we had to go to chevy. fucking prey ass animal behavior of me. like a fucking deer like a rabbit and normally i'm not the most opposed to that dynamic

i'm the furthest thing from okay right now, having pushed this away since fucking july. three months of every fucking day stuck feet away from him. pretending i wasn't collapsing inside, flinching every time he came near, every time he laughed at a joke. not to mention everything that happened with m!josh. don't need to think about that quite right now.

so i gotta give myself grace, right? acknowledge that it's not...it's not okay. it wasn't ever okay. and it might never be. but it happened. it happened. it happened. and we sit with it. it doesn't ever leave, we just grow around it. easier said than done and the furthest thing from a quick process.

and its haunting me, but i feel fine/war of worlds in real time better off signing a truce that's drawn up in your name but i hope you go home and admit you/were wrong for the stress you put me through free me from the anchor/depart these seas and let me do what i have to do

running around in circles/the path i always choose/i hate that i can't accept anything more than the worn out soles of my shoes

can't eat anything more than half a small meal, if that. can't sleep. tension headaches and stiff neck, always. chronic shit acting up. every joint feels unmoored. always a little dizzy.

but there's the little moments. laughing with my friends. a warm cup of tea. laughing at that celebrimbor gif. connection with people. it's there. it's there. sunlight in the fall trees that make the world look like Lindon.

doesn't stop the ache. heartache is an apt description but it's maybe the worst i've ever felt. like i know panic attacks and chest pain and trauma well, but this... i'd think i was actually dying if i didn't know better. i try to sit with the feelings, let them just be there, pass over me. grounding, breathing exercises. but then it just bubbles up, so visceral. pain doesn't cover it. it takes my breath away.

so we throw ourselves into fiction. relate too strongly to characters. write long overly personal think pieces that will probably certainly fade into oblivion. we lean on supportive people but we can't overwhelm them and that's all i am right now, overwhelming. we try to share without trauma dumping or word vomiting. process. we try to process. we try we try we try. whatever way we can. we do this, write and write and write and post a waaaay too personal thing. but it is indeed tumblr.com so i mean idk

but those little moments. the light in the trees, the warmth of the cup. it can be like that. it has to. it has to. it has to.

headstrong in the world/with the wind at my back

[celestialpotat0]

I'm definitely old now

In 2023 I struggled to reconcile my desire to stay out late at night and make memories with my desire to have a restful sleep schedule. In my 20s I would regularly leave the house after 11pm because many spots and events don't get lit til around 12am. In 2023 I think I pretty much always chose sleep over staying up. Was supposed to go clubbing for my friend's birthday party, and I really wanted to go. But I probably wouldn't have been home til 3am, which would inevitably cause me to wake up early to go into work after some sleep-deprived days. I'd risk making mistakes at work or thinking too slowly at work, which could cause patient harm. Then I'd go home from work and be too tired to meal prep, work out, clean, study, etc. so that day would be wasted. And it'd take prob a few days to correct the 1 night of staying up too late. So i told him wouldnt be able to stay up late for clubbing, and in a way i shocked myself at how unfamiliar this new me is, given how much i loved going out dancing.

The Killers have a special place in my heart because their music transports me back to the middle school version of myself. I listened to Hot Fuss so many times in middle school and the drama spoke to my angsty, emotional, and insecure self. that younger version of me who constantly dreamed about a grander life. When they came to SF, I knew that it'd mean so much to go to their concert; I have this obsession with nostalgia and attaching sentimental significance to certain things so I can commemorate memories and try to relive or reexperience them. (yes i realize that was extremely redundant word choice but idc bc i gotta head into work in a bit.) But I decided with difficulty to miss their concert since I had early morning work the next day.

I have extra special fond memories of NYE in past years- gathering with lots of strangers, dancing, bundled up under thick layers and scarves to ring in the new year. in those moments that you're gathering and celebrating and chanting the last ten seconds of the year out loud in unison with everyone around you, you KNOW you're going to remember those exact moments of revelry and joy for years to come. but i turned down my friend's invitation to celebrate this year because i had work in the morning on New year's day.

These are just some examples of when me in my 20s might have leaned toward going. While I admit the clubbing may have been the pursuit of hedonism as dancing is joy found in a simple act of moving to music and allows me to leave all my worries behind off the dance floor, the concert was more about nostalgia and NYE was more about creating memories. In 2023, there were many other times when I consistently chose over and over again to NOT stay out late. Mainly because I felt an obligation to be responsible for my job. friend invited me to watch a movie that starts at 7pm next Friday--I told him I'll have to sit this one out because idk if i'll even be awake by the end of the movie.

a 7pm movie on a friday evening is too late for me now... welcome to my 30s.

I've recently started to reframe my perspective on getting older. im obviously starting to realize now that I feel way more wrecked on 5 hours of sleep than i used to. body aches appear spontaneously now. the appearance of my body and face is not what it used to be. but im actually really appreciating the present, because i think about how in my 40s I'm going to WISH I could be back in my 30s. And in my 50s I'm going to think man I really had it good in my 40s. So thinking of future me makes me appreciate the body I have today, and I actually feel grateful. I'm quite proud of shifting my perspective because when I was like 28-30 I used to feel miserable about the thought of getting older. I had best fully appreciate this time now, because it will slip away into the past, so I want to savor it all now while Im lucky enough to have it. i will say the weights ive been lifting have been the heaviest theyve ever been, so there are small victories.

My really dear friend is in her 90s and has sciatica. She has been in a lot of pain. But the other day I received a package from her in the mail. She'd sent me pecan pie and cookies. To know that she baked a pie and cookies and packaged them up and shipped them over to me from San Clemente, all despite her sciatica pain, is one of the most meaningful acts of kindness i've received. As i get older I also better understand just how much love is delivered through food. anyone who has cooked and prepared food for me, i realize how much it takes to do that and the abundance of love that is poured into and expressed through food. im so inspired and touched to witness that kindness and am grateful our paths crossed.

[mouseycakes]

Nine People You Want to Get to Know Better

A rare tag encounter appeared!!! This one's inchresting for sure, so thanks @blind-the-winds for the tag!! :3

To get the tags out first, anyone seeing this can jump in if they wanna!

Now, to the answers:

Current Book I'm Reading: Off to a solid start, I actually admit I haven't picked up a long novel in a while between being caught up in life stuff and work. Hooowever, I've been finally eyeing to read Dead Man in a Ditch by Luke Arnold- basically a mixture of noir mystery and urban fantasy to make for a fun twist about murders- and magic? But also magic's still gone so, no magic. Perhaps. And also finally starting in on The Dark Crystal series as a whole, a goal I made since finishing both the movie for the fifth time alongside a second or third run through of the Netflix series.

Last Song I Listened To: "Square Hammer" by Ghost, based on more like, "last song I binged multiple times in a day recently." I'd be lying if the reason was anything but getting crazy animations in my head for ocs again, this time Lucius flavored! :> Also in general, Ghost's songs have just the right vibes for Forbidden Fruits content in general with the religious/demon themes, plus the ascension vibes on top of that with the echoes.

Currently Watching: If we're talkin' on YouTube, I've reached a ton of rabbit hole content ranging from essays on Tumblr, to essays about way old fibercrafting internet drama, to lost media games. I think I'm starting to realize I really love just popping on video essays of one thing or another and gaining knowledge on something in the middle of drawing and/or crocheting. Course I end up more wrapped up in the essays that I forget the project I'm working on......... On top of that, the last thing I remember watching on streaming services either has to be Arcane, or Across the Spiderverse, both of which I totally recommend watching if you haven't already as a character dynamic enjoyer.

Current Fic I'm Reading: Oof, okay I can vouch on this I actually have been slow to start reading more fics as of recent-recently, but if we count the last thing I read it'd probably be somewhere around chapter 4 of TIS (gotta give kudos where kudos is due, Jax!!! I'm hooked!!). Besides that... does. Does Homestuck count? Dare I say? Either way, it's a Thing I've been on and off reading since Freshman year college so. Better late than never!

Next On My Watch List: I've been meaning to finally finish up Adventure Time AND Tuca and Bertie if that counts!! Outside of that, I know there's a bunch of stuff I have on the bucketlist that I promised to finally watch for both my best friends and my partner alike (in fact I'm supposed to be having a duo watch sesh of the first few seasons of Game of Thrones with one of said besties sometime soon). Otherwise, my watchlist usually consists of random discovery and bouts of "Oh hey, remember that show you were curious about? Yeah, let's see that one!"

Current Obsession: No matter what media I get into next, I always find myself right back with my ocs and building them- the two primary stories for them being Forbidden Fruits and Embroidered Tercet. I can't help it either, the silly little gays lived rent free in my noodle noggin for abouttt... almost 10 years now??? Moreso the FF crew, ET came much, much later. Besides the little guys, I've been bouncing around with various analog horror and general horror game essays, as well as D&D stuff!! Craft/hobby wise, I've been bouncing between crochet, cooking/baking, aaand polymer clay sculpting, with weaving and decoupage as potential pursuits when time and money allows hfhfhf. There's other little things too, but there's a lot to list!

[devon-sinclair]

His smile dropped a bit as she mentioned leaving, the thought of losing her when he just got back to her one that made his stomach feel unsettled. But he wasn't going to spiral about that now considering how much else was spinning around in his head. "Fishing for a compliment? Never. Getting you to admit that I'm undesirably handsome? Absolutely. I don't know about all of that but I appreciate your generous memory." He smiled towards the end, glad that there would be a next time. He could feel the anxiety in his as he walked in, the overwhelming feeling of seeing her again paired with fear. But it was mostly washed out by the excitement that they had now come back to a place where they were close together. Increasing all of their chances to spend more time together. Something that almost instantly made this entire trip worth it.

"Well if you ever feel like getting away from your haunted mansion here, I just got a place Downtown. Nice apartment. Doesn't have shit in it yet but you're always welcome." It made him think that he had to actually get shit into it. Maybe he'd ask Isla to come over and help him pick things out for the apartment. He was sure she'd like that. "Just know that offer always stands."

Devon sat on the couch across from her, listening to her words as he drank back a good portion of his beer. "I know, everyone keeps telling me the same thing. Letting me off the hook. And I can't let myself off the hook. I can't. I mean I can say what I want, protecting myself, boundaries, bad memories, whatever it is. But the fact is I left him, Nel, I left my brother behind after everything he did for me. It wasn't perfect, of course not. We were kids. But I'd barely be alive if it wasn't for him, the least I could've done was come to visit. Once." They had talked over the phone a lot and there had been a brief moment where they had met half way, slightly by chance. It was the last time he had seen his brother in person, alive. And he had of course taken it for granted. It was always easy to be honest with her because she always kept it honest with him. "The kids are unsurprisingly well adjusted despite it all. It's the Sinclair way," he joked. "My sister in law won't talk to me but the kids were generally glad to see me so I figured it'd be good for me to stick around a bit. Feels like it's too late but fuck, I've gotta try, right? Some fucking homecoming," he joked.

“Does a bear shit in the woods? — That’s the answer to both of your questions, by the way.” She responded haughtily, turning her back and beginning the march to the living room, figuring he’d follow.  “Or maybe I’ll just pack up and leave before I have to see ‘em die.  Good old Irish Exit, we already know I’m good at ‘em.”  For right now, that acknowledgement was the closest thing he was going to get to an apology.  She was never one to live in the past or regret her actions, spilled milk and all that, and bringing it up after so many years seemed to be a way to only move backwards.   “If this is you fishing for a compliment, you gotta be kidding me.  Fuckin’ look at you, the last thing you need is that.  You’ve always had the gals and guys trailing after you like lost puppy dogs.  I wanna make sure you’re able to fit your head through the door next time you come to visit.”

“About 6 months,” she said with a huff as she collapsed into the couch, “But it feels like a fuckin' lifetime." she nearly growled. Of course, she could always just go get a place for herself and stop the whining. But she was low on personal funds and hated to use the dirty family money. It didn't stop her from crashing in the house that the dirty money paid for, of course, her moral bar was only so high.

But the lighthearted catching up quickly came to an end, and she grimaced at his next words. She couldn't imagine what that felt like. She hated her fucking brother, and it still felt weird knowing that she would never see him again. And while she knew Dev was off living his life and hadn't been in tight contact with Eddie, their relationship had certainly been better than Nellie's and Jeffrey's, hadn't it? "I know. I'm sorry Dev." She had never been good at offering comfort that didn't come in the form of a body or a glass, but god how she wanted to give it to him. "But you didn't do anything to him, it fuckin' sucks that's how things shook out and he had to tell you, but it ain't your fault, Dev, give yourself some fuckin' grace. --- I know things with Eddie were always complicated, but how are you handling it? The kids?"