#got stuck somewhere i didn't know with a dead phone

[cuntnikida]

Okay but Ueda Akinari is SO old. Like they're last visitor came one thousand five hundred years ago. Most bsd characters (excluding Atsushi who's 18, Sigma who's 3 even though physically he's a young adult and Fyodor and Bram who're both like a thousand years old, which btw alot of this math will probably apply to fyodor if he's the visitor from 1500 years ago which im 90% was canon confirmed but idk 100%) are in their early 20s unless they are visibly younger or older. Ueda obviously stopped aging when they were placed into the dimension of the divide being's core, if they didn't they'd be dead by now.

The minimum amount of time they've spent in the weapon's core is 1500 years. Since we don't know the upper limit of time they could've been in there, i'm gonna assume that they got a visitor in the same year they got trapped. Wether it was a few days or a few months is irrelevant.

So Ueda is like most likely physically 20-24 years old and technically 1520-1524 years old. Ranpo and Kouyou who are both 26 are considered pretty old (like how kouyou is portrayed as extremely mature and elegant and it's mentioned multiple times that Ranpo acts wayyy to immature for his age when he's only 26) by the other characters which means characters 25 and above are considered noticeably old which is why it's kind of unlikely for Ueda to be 1525 or more years old but if we're being lenient he could maybe be 1525 years old. If we're being lenient with the younger side of the spectrum maybe he could be 1518 years old.

So Ueda's probably 1520-1524 years old but possibly 1518-1525 years old.

And bungou stray dogs is obviously set in the modern world where the UN has been formed, cell phones and security cameras exist and most people in japan wear western clothes instead of traditional japanese ones on a day to day basis.

The issue is that the exact year isn't specified. I would say somewhere in the 2010s or in the 2020s but after the pandemic. But that's still not specific enough. So in order to assume what year in the modern world it takes place, we can either choose when the manga started being published (2012, although since it started december 2012 the whole year sorta already happened and it's closer to 2013 but 2012 nonetheless). Or the present year the manga's being published in which is 2025, however I'd find the last option rather unlikely for multiple reasons but will still include just in case it is set rn.

That means the earliest time Ueda Akinari has been born (aka when he was born) is 2012 - 1525 years which is 487. And the latest possible time they could've been born is 2025 - 1518 years where is 507. The most probable years they were born would be from 488 (2012 - 1524) to 492 (2012 - 1520).

Disclaimer- I'm not a history geek so if i get any of these events wrong please let me know and I'll change this post and thank you in advance for correcting my dumbass.

This bitch was born almost 500 years after jesus. This motherfucker isn't even a boomer they're the boomers' ancestors. The early middle ages/the dark ages/the early medieval period started in the late 5th century. More specifically around the start of the western roman empire's fall, which was like 476 AD. Which means Ueda Akinari was born during the fuckin dark ages. Although the dark ages was what was happening in europe and stuff, in japan the kofun period was happening.

Also him being alive during that time an event took place doesn't mean he was aware when major historical events occurred. Like He was stuck in another dimension during the fall of Constantinople

He was most likely in our dimension and on our earth from 488 to 512 AD (subtract a few years if you believe hes like 20/21/22/23 instead of 24) or 492 to 516 AD (also subtract a few years if you believe he's 20/21/22/23 instead of 24).

Dude's going on about how politicians sealed them away bro you existed before politicians as we know them existed. Ueda was most likely sealed away by a king or emperor or some shit.

Surprised atsushi can even talk to Ueda considering the japanese language probably changes alot since they've had no new visitors since they got trapped.

On the topic of language Ueda's place has a bunch of japanese writing and yet the oldest records of written japanese date back to the 8th century which is like two hundred years after they were sealed away. Which means that in the bsd universe there's been written japanese before that. Maybe it's been discovered maybe it hasn't idk man.

Also the tales of genji which is sometimes called the first novel were written (and while i wouldn't call it the first it was definitely one of the first) was written in the early 11th century. Ueda was trapped in this dimension when that happened. Which btw this only fuels my theory that they were really high in the class system when they were on earth bcz obviously reading and writing was something that usually only well off people did back then.

Maybe they were a warrior of sorts and that's why they made swords. Or maybe they were a famous swordsmith or royalty.

Like y'all know how surprised bram was when he was Aya play music on like her phone or something. Ueda would have that reaction to so many things. Like most foods tbh. Like alot of sauces and stuff had to be made from absolute scratch and fermented for months before use. Ueda has probably never tasted chocolate before. They'd walk into a convience store and have a heart attack lmao.

On the more angsty side their favourite flower might be extinct now. All their comforting childhood meals might have been so thoroughly altered that they only vaguely resemble what they used to be. Or maybe those childhood meals don't even exist anymore before bcz they were never written down or require now non existent ingredients. The fruits they once ate as a child now taste so sweet but make their heart feel so bitter. They see little children talk about stories like "cinderella" and realise all the folktales they knew as a child have died out and been long forgotten. Just like all their loved ones. If Ueda doesn't die and is freed, they'll never get to experience the joys of nostalgia ever again, only sorrow that everything they once knew is gone. Only an aching wish for what once was. Authors sometimes forget how long ago a millennium really is.

[newtbog]

took the wrong bus and turned what should've been an <10 minute trip home into a 2 hour debacle

i'm doing fuckall for the rest of the day i'm tired

[lanadelspray02]

HOLD ME ANYWAY: CHAPTER 11

paige x azzi

SURPRISE! I hope y'all like this chapter. I rushed it a bit to get it out quicker for everyone, so I hope it's still readable. It is very long, so be warned. I wanted to make the first meeting between Ruby and Paige a bit unexpected. I also didn't really have Azzi properly explain to the team about Ruby, so that will be upcoming. I just wanted them to respect both Ruby and Azzi, which they did. Let me know what you think :) I hope it's not too underwhelming for y'all.

crossposted ao3 here

masterlist here

wc: 12,272

--------------------

Azzi woke to a heel pressed into her ribs and the slow, sticky sound of someone whispering into her ear.

��Mama. Wake up. Wake uuup.”

She groaned, not moving.

A giggle echoed near her face, breathy and triumphant, followed by a sudden flurry of motion as Ruby scrambled higher up the bed, her little legs tangling in the blanket like a determined, curly-haired octopus.

“Mamaaaa,” Ruby sang this time, louder. “Sun’s up! We do breffast now!”

Azzi cracked one eye open and was immediately met with Ruby’s face hovering over hers, close enough that their noses almost touched. Her curls were wild and sleep-tangled, cheeks flushed, pajamas twisted from a night of tossing. She had one sock on. The other appeared to be stuck around Sparklehorn’s neck like a scarf.

Azzi blinked at her.

“Good mornin’,” Ruby whispered dramatically, then giggled again and rolled over like she’d nailed the performance.

Azzi grunted and rolled onto her back, staring up at the ceiling. Her joints ached. Her eyes burned.

“Mama dead?” Ruby asked, very seriously.

Azzi dragged a hand over her face. “Mama’s exhausted.”

Ruby didn’t seem moved. “No ‘zausted,” she said with a pout. “It’s breffast time. I hungry now.”

Azzi turned her head and looked at her daughter sideways. Ruby was sitting upright now, Sparklehorn clutched under one arm, chewing absently on her own sleeve. Her small feet kicked against the blanket in rhythmic thumps.

“I ‘membered somethin’,” Ruby added thoughtfully.

“Oh yeah?” Azzi mumbled, voice still thick with sleep.

Ruby nodded hard, curls bouncing. “You said Paigey, the unicorn girl come over.”

Azzi blinked. “I said what now?”

Ruby tilted her head, her pout reappearing. “Paigey come for pancakes. You said last night. ‘Member?”

Azzi sat up slowly, wincing as her muscles protested. “I definitely didn’t say she was coming over.”

“You did in my head,” Ruby replied without hesitation, then shrugged. “So that still count.”

Azzi stared at her. “That’s not how it works.”

Ruby, unfazed, hugged Sparklehorn tighter. “We share wif her. Sparklehorn say so.”

“Okay,” Azzi sighed, swinging her legs off the bed. “Let’s slow down. We need to brush our teeth, put real clothes on, and maybe, if the mood strikes, make some pancakes. No promises.”

Ruby gasped. “Sparklehorn like pancakes! Pink ones. Wif stars.”

Azzi stood, her hoodie wrinkled, her hair half-falling out of a messy bun. She reached for her phone on the nightstand.

“Do we have pancake mix?”

Ruby jumped off the bed and landed like a cat, slightly unbalanced but upright. “We got mix. I saw. In the snack drawer. Next to the spoons.”

“That… is not where the pancake mix goes.”

Ruby shrugged. “It there now.”

Azzi followed her out of the room, yawning hard as Ruby led the charge down the hallway like a queen with a mission. The hardwood was cold under her feet. Somewhere in the house, a kettle clicked to life, probably Katie already up. The scent of coffee grounds drifted faintly through the air, and sunlight was just beginning to fill the edges of the living room with a muted glow.

Ruby ran into the kitchen full-speed, dragging Sparklehorn behind her by the tail.

“Grammaaaa!” she yelled. “We makin’ pancakes! Paigey, the unicorn girl comin’!”

Azzi winced. “Roo, inside voice.”

Katie turned from the stove, a mug in her hand and a tired smile tugging at her lips. “Good morning to you too, sweet pea.”

Ruby clambered up onto one of the barstools and planted Sparklehorn on the counter like an honored guest.

“She comin’,” she declared. “Paigey. The unicorn girl. The smiley one”

Katie raised an eyebrow at Azzi.

Azzi mouthed, not my fault, then grabbed two mugs from the cabinet.

“Somebody’s been rewriting reality,” she said, pouring herself tea.

Katie sipped her coffee. “She’s got a good imagination.”

“She also has no chill,” Azzi muttered.

Ruby pointed dramatically at her unicorn. “She told me in the night. Paigey wanna come for pancakes. She said she like syrup.”

Azzi covered her face with one hand. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Katie said, chuckling. “This might be the most animated she’s been before 8 a.m. in weeks.”

Azzi set her mug down and pulled her phone from the front pocket of her hoodie. She opened her messages, thumb hesitating just for a second before tapping Paige’s name.

Ruby, still watching her, narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “You tell her?”

Azzi nodded, amused. “I’m telling her.”

She opened the voice memo feature and hit record.

    “Hi. So… apparently Sparklehorn has decided it’s a pancake emergency. Ruby’s convinced you’re coming over. And I quote: ‘Paigey like syrup.’ So, you’ve got some explaining to do. We’re starting breakfast now, try not to disappoint the unicorn.”

She hit send.

Ruby, not understanding any of the subtlety, leaned over the counter with wide eyes.

“She say yes? She comin’?”

Azzi smiled at her, something soft pulling at her chest. “We’ll see, Roo.”

“Okay,” Ruby said, satisfied, then reached across the counter to grab a handful of cereal flakes from the open box. “We save her da pink pancake.”

Azzi walked around the counter, leaned in to kiss her daughter’s temple, and let herself rest her forehead there for a second longer than usual.

Katie watched quietly from the sink, her expression unreadable but warm.

Azzi stood up straight and took a breath.

Everything had shifted. Not all at once, not loudly, but in the quiet way a tide turns. Gently. Inexorably.

She turned her head, eyes drifting to her phone screen, waiting for Paige’s reply.

Some part of her already knew what it would say.

But it still made her heart jump anyway.

Azzi didn’t have to wait long for Ruby to shift gears again, toddler attention spans were short, especially when syrup was on the line.

“Mama,” Ruby said seriously, cupping her cereal flakes in both hands, “I need da mix now. The pancake mix.”

Azzi raised an eyebrow. “Is that a command?”

“It’s a need,” Ruby replied, deadly serious.

Katie snorted softly behind them, wiping down the kitchen bench. “You heard the queen. Hop to it.”

Azzi made a show of groaning but walked to the pantry, grabbing the half-empty bag of pancake mix from the middle shelf, not next to the spoons, thank God. She set it on the counter beside Ruby, who was now hugging Sparklehorn and whispering to her like they were conspiring.

“I wan’ pink ones,” Ruby said again. “Wif sprinkles.”

“We don’t have pink pancake mix, baby.”

Ruby gasped like Azzi had just cancelled her birthday. “But we always do pink!”

“No, sometimes we do pink. When we have the dye.”

“Ask Gramma,” Ruby insisted, spinning dramatically on the barstool to face Katie. “Gramma, we have da pink?”

Katie opened a drawer. “We’ve got red. We can fake it.”

“Red okay,” Ruby decided after a moment of thought. “But not too red. Just pink pink.”

Azzi, already halfway into mixing the batter, bit back a smile. “We’ll go light on the apocalypse shade. Got it.”

She poured the milk in slowly, Ruby watching her every move like a hawk. The tiny measuring spoon clinked against the edge of the bowl as Azzi added just a touch of food coloring, swirling it in with exaggerated strokes.

“Ooooooh,” Ruby breathed. “It changin’.”

“You’re a wizard,” Katie told Azzi.

“I prefer pancake artist,” Azzi replied.

“Pancake wizard!” Ruby screamed with delight.

Azzi stuck her tongue out at her daughter and flicked a small drop of batter onto her nose. Ruby squealed like she’d been betrayed and immediately reached for the spoon.

“Ruby....no, not in your hair, babe”

Too late. A dot of pink batter now sat proudly in the curls above her forehead.

Azzi groaned, reaching for a dish towel.

“Hold still. You’re gonna be sticky all day.”

“I wanna be sticky,” Ruby announced. “Sticky is fun.”

Azzi wiped her gently, one hand cradling the back of Ruby’s head with practised ease. She didn’t even have to think about it anymore, the movements had become muscle memory, just like brushing teeth or buckling the car seat or wiping tears off tiny cheeks mid-tantrum.

Everything about mornings like this, the mess, the pace, the affection woven through every movement, it was chaotic. But it was hers.

Theirs.

“Mama,” Ruby said as Azzi pulled the towel away. “You think Paigey gonna come next time?”

Azzi paused for just a second. Long enough that Ruby noticed.

She tucked a curl behind Ruby’s ear and said softly, “I think… maybe. If we ask nice.”

Ruby beamed. “I be nice. I say pwease. I give her sprinkles too.”

Azzi felt a lump rise in her throat, sudden and full.

She looked down at the tiny girl in front of her, now rhythmically kicking her feet against the cabinets and humming off-key to herself, Sparklehorn tucked neatly in the crook of her elbow like a second heartbeat.

Sometimes Azzi forgot how small Ruby still was. How recently she’d come into the world. And how completely she had rearranged every part of it.

“Alright, Roo,” she said, pouring the first ladle of batter into the skillet, watching it sizzle. “You want big pancakes or little ones?”

“Big! Like your head.”

Azzi gasped. “Are you saying I have a big head?”

Ruby nodded solemnly. “Yup. Big head, small nose, silly eyes.”

Katie choked on her coffee in the background.

Azzi shot her mother a betrayed glare.

“You know what,” she said, flipping the pancake with dramatic flair. “You’re getting the crispy one.”

Ruby screamed with laughter. “Nooo! No crispy!”

“Too late,” Azzi teased. “Crispy pancake for the pancake wizard’s rude apprentice.”

“I sorry!” Ruby giggled. “You have nice head! Very nice!”

“Uh-huh.”

Azzi plated the first pancake and set it in front of her daughter, topping it with a small swirl of syrup and the few remaining rainbow sprinkles from the cupboard. Ruby leaned in like she was praying.

Katie set a fork beside her. “Tell Sparklehorn to pace herself.”

Ruby nodded seriously. “She eat slow. She got tiny teef.”

Azzi sat down beside her, her legs aching, her body heavy from lack of sleep, and yet… she felt light.

A quiet buzz came from her phone.

Paige.

Azzi picked it up, thumb brushing the screen.

    “Tell Sparklehorn I’ll be there for bedtime tonight. Battle-ready.”

She smiled without meaning to, small and involuntary, the kind that warmed the back of her neck and crept into her chest before she could stop it.

Ruby didn’t notice. She was too busy feeding her unicorn a piece of pancake.

Azzi glanced at her daughter, then back at the screen.

A tiny piece of her heart, the careful, scared one, uncurled just a little more.

--------------------

Paige’s phone buzzed against the edge of her pillow just as the morning light started to slip in through the blinds. She didn’t reach for it right away. She lay still for a minute, the blanket tangled around her legs, the dorm quiet except for the faint hum of the radiator and a shower running down the hall.

Her body felt like it had finally stopped spinning.

Her brain, though? Still tangled.

The past 24 hours had been a swirl, soft, sharp, surreal. Azzi at her door. Azzi telling her the truth. The kiss that wasn’t desperate, but deliberate. And the way Azzi had looked at her after, like Paige had somehow passed a test neither of them had written down.

She blinked slowly, then finally turned and grabbed her phone.

Voice message. From Azzi.

Her stomach flipped.

She tapped play, holding the phone to her ear with sleep-heavy fingers.

    “Hi. So… apparently Sparklehorn has decided it’s a pancake emergency. Ruby’s convinced you’re coming over. And I quote: ‘Paigey like syrup.’ So, you’ve got some explaining to do. We’re starting breakfast now, try not to disappoint the unicorn.”

Paige’s laugh came out half-choked.

She pressed the phone to her chest, closed her eyes for a second, then opened them again, awake now. Fully.

Ruby remembered her. Not just remembered, was planning her breakfast plate like Paige was already family.

She flopped back on her pillow, eyes aimed at the ceiling, grinning like a fool.

From across the room, Nika emerged from the bathroom in a robe, towel around her neck, coffee mug in hand.

“You’re smiling at your phone like it just sent you a love letter,” she said flatly.

Paige didn’t look up. “It kinda did.”

Nika sat on the edge of her own bed, one brow raised. “Was it from her?”

“Mmhm.”

Nika sipped her coffee and leaned back on one hand. “You’re too far gone, dude. You’re like... in.”

“I was already in,” Paige said, finally sitting up and stretching. “Now I’m just... being let in.”

Nika didn’t tease that. Not really. She just nodded once, quiet. Then: “That’s good.”

There was a beat, quiet enough for the radiator to hum through it.

Paige hesitated.

Then: “There’s something I should tell you. But you can’t say anything yet.”

Nika’s brows lifted, intrigued. “You’re being dramatic. I like it. Continue.”

“I’m serious, Nik. I just need to talk to my best friend about this.”

Nika sat up straighter. “Okay. What?”

Paige pulled one knee to her chest and rested her chin there for a second. “Azzi… she has a kid. A daughter. Her name’s Ruby. She’s two and a half.”

The silence hit harder than Paige expected. No gasp. No stunned squeal. Just Nika staring, processing.

“Wait, what?”

Paige nodded. “Yeah. I found out yesterday. She told me everything.”

“She has a kid? I was wondering who Ruby was when she mentioned her the other day.”

“She lives at home with her parents and raises her. She’s incredible, Nik. Like... smart, funny, opinionated. She calls me ‘the unicorn friend, paigey”. Paige smiled faintly. “Because of the stuffed toy I won her. and well now she just calls me Paigey sometimes too i guess.”

Nika blinked twice. “Dude. That’s huge.”

“I know.”

“And no one else knows?”

Paige shook her head. “Not even Ines or Caroline. She’s gonna tell them when she’s ready. So, please. Just keep it between us. I feel wrong for even telling you but i just wanted to talk about it with you.”

Nika held up both hands like a solemn vow. “Locked down. Sworn to secrecy. You got the classified stamp and everything.”

“Thanks.”

Nika tilted her head. “But are you okay with it?”

Paige looked up. “Yeah. I mean, I’m figuring it out. I'm scared, but yeah. I want to be part of it. Of her. Of them.”

Nika gave a slow nod, then nudged her with the toe of her sock. “You’re a good one, Bueckers.”

“Don’t say that. I’ll cry and miss class.”

“Fair.”

Paige stood, grabbed her hoodie off the back of the chair, and pulled her hair into a bun with the kind of ease that said she’d done this routine a thousand times.

She tossed a glance over her shoulder. “I told her I’d be on standby tonight. For Sparklehorn-related emergencies.”

Nika gave a long, dramatic pause. “You are FaceTiming a toddler now?”

“It’s part of the gig,” Paige said, tugging on her sneakers. “Gotta earn the unicorn’s trust.”

“God help you,” Nika muttered. “You’re gonna start packing snack bags to class.”

“Honestly?” Paige tossed a granola bar into her backpack. “Might as well get the practice in.”

Nika snorted.

--------------------

Campus was still shaking off the quiet of the weekend when Paige stepped out into the crisp morning air. Students moved in slow clusters across the paths, bundled up against the lingering chill, some still yawning behind travel mugs.

The sun was just high enough to throw long shadows across the quad. Paige tucked her hands into the front pocket of her hoodie and let her feet take her in the direction of her first lecture, not in a rush, not dragging. Just... present.

Her phone vibrated once in her pocket.

She pulled it out to see Azzi’s reply:

    “Ruby says Sparklehorn requests your attendance at bedtime. Pajamas optional but encouraged.”

Paige bit her lip to hold back the grin that tried to escape. She typed back quickly:

    “Tell Sparklehorn I’ll be ready. Full musical number if requested.”

Another message arrived before she could even put the phone away:

    “You’re dangerously close to becoming her favorite person.”

Paige’s heart kicked a little faster.

She slowed her steps, glancing around campus like the air might catch the way her chest felt, light, cracked open, bright in places that had long been grey.

She thought back to what Azzi had said the night before.

“She doesn’t need perfect. She just needs someone who shows up.”

Paige had spent so much of her life keeping things clean, organised, walled-off, afraid that if someone stepped too far inside, they’d see the mess. The confusion. The family stuff. The need she didn’t know how to name.

But Azzi hadn’t flinched.

And Ruby... God, Ruby. Ruby had reached for her through a screen like she already belonged.

She pulled her phone out again, thumb hovering. Then typed:

    “You need anything from me today?”

Azzi replied a minute later:

    “Just show up tonight. She’s got a new toothbrush song planned. It’s chaos.”

Paige smiled down at the screen. Paused. Then typed one more message.

    “Wouldn’t miss it.”

She stepped into the lecture hall five minutes early, dropped into a seat near the back, and opened her laptop. The professor was still organising slides, students murmuring all around her, half awake and semi-focused.

Paige wasn’t sure she’d remember anything from today’s lecture.

But she’d remember the voice note.

She’d remember the way it felt to be invited into someone’s morning, unfiltered and loud and real.

And she’d remember the promise she made.

To show up.

Even if all she had was a screen and a toothbrush song.

--------------------

The sun was high by the time Azzi made it to the student union lawn, the kind of gentle, late-winter warmth that made people believe spring was actually coming. A few students lounged on the grass despite the damp patches, earbuds in, notebooks open. There was something peaceful about it, the lull between classes, the illusion of stillness.

She spotted Caroline and Ines by the benches near the big oak, their backpacks dumped haphazardly on the ground like they’d arrived in a hurry and stayed longer than intended. Caroline was mid-rant about a group project disaster; Ines was eating dry cereal from a ziplock bag and nodding like she hadn’t heard a single word.

Azzi took a breath, smoothed down the sleeves of her hoodie, and walked toward them.

“There she is,” Caroline said, spotting her. “We were about to send a search party.”

“You okay?” Ines added. “You look… floaty.”

“I don’t look floaty.”

“You do a little,” Caroline said, scooting over. “Like someone got kissed and then replayed it a hundred times in her head.”

Azzi snorted as she sat down between them. “Okay, stalkers.”

“Not stalkers. Observant friends,” Caroline said, nudging her. “So. Paige?”

Ines perked up. “You saw her again?”

Azzi nodded slowly. “Yeah. Yesterday.”

“Ooooh,” they said in unison, cartoonishly loud.

Azzi laughed, but it came out a little shaky.

Caroline narrowed her eyes. “Wait. Are you okay?”

Azzi hesitated, looking down at her hands. She wasn’t holding anything, but she twisted her fingers together anyway.

There was no perfect segue into this. No soft ramp.

So she went slow. Gentle. Honest.

“I need to tell you something,” she said. “And it’s kind of big. So please don’t freak out.”

Caroline and Ines glanced at each other.

“Are you dying?” Ines asked, serious.

“No!”

“Are we dying?” Caroline added.

Azzi rolled her eyes. “Why is that your first reaction?”

“You said not to freak out,” Caroline replied. “Which means freak-out-worthy information is coming.”

Azzi exhaled. “Okay. Look. You remember that FaceTime call? From like... the first week of the semester?”

Both girls nodded instantly.

“Yeah,” Ines said. “The one where you disappeared mid-sentence and a little kid yelled ‘mama!’ in the background?”

Caroline’s eyes widened. “Wait…”

Azzi met their eyes. Her heart beat harder than she wanted it to. “That was my daughter.”

Silence.

Caroline’s mouth fell open. Ines blinked like her brain had frozen.

“She’s two and a half,” Azzi continued, voice quiet but steady. “Her name’s Ruby. She lives with me and my parents. And yeah, I’ve been raising her since high school.”

“Holy shit,” Ines breathed.

Caroline’s hand flew up like she didn’t know whether to cover her mouth or high-five her. “You have a kid? Azzi!”

“I know,” Azzi said quickly. “I know it’s a lot.”

“It's not bad,” Caroline clarified. “It’s just… wow.”

“Yeah. Wow,” Ines echoed, softer now. “You’ve been doing all this and never said anything?”

Azzi shrugged, her shoulders curling in. “I didn’t want people to look at me differently. Or like I was... complicated.”

“Girl,” Caroline said, voice sharp with affection, “you are complicated. So are we. Everyone is.”

“But you’re raising a whole human,” Ines added, still sounding dazed. “Like, you’re... a mum. That’s insane. In a cool way.”

Azzi’s throat tightened. “I didn’t mean to keep it from you. I just... I needed to know who felt safe first. Paige was the first person I told here.”

Caroline gave a small nod. “That makes sense.”

“And I didn’t want to drop it on you like it was some kind of test. Like ‘if you’re really my friends, you’ll be okay with this.’ That’s not fair either.”

Ines leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “You’re allowed to protect your peace.”

Caroline’s voice softened. “But you don’t have to protect it from us.”

Azzi blinked fast, trying to clear the burn behind her eyes.

“Thanks,” she murmured. “Seriously.”

Caroline bumped her knee. “So... Ruby. That’s her name?”

Azzi smiled. “Yeah.”

“Tell us everything.”

Azzi laughed under her breath. “That might take a while.”

Ines grinned. “Good. We’ve got time.”

Azzi hesitated for a second, then pulled out her phone.

“She loves music,” she said, scrolling. “Like... anything loud and chaotic. And she talks to her unicorn like it’s real. She named it Sparklehorn this morning.”

Caroline snorted. “Icon.”

“She also thinks pancakes should be pink,” Azzi added, holding up her phone so they could see the screen.

It was a picture she’d taken just this morning: Ruby in her lopsided pajamas, grinning with a sprinkle-covered pancake in one hand and Sparklehorn in the other, syrup streaked across her cheek like war paint.

Caroline gasped. “Oh my God.”

Ines reached for the phone. “She’s perfect.”

“She’s two and a half going on thirty,” Azzi muttered, but her smile gave her away.

Caroline studied the image like it was a masterpiece. “She has your eyes. And your scowl.”

“Excuse you,” Azzi said, mock offended.

“I mean it with love.”

Ines leaned over to look again. “What’s she like with new people?”

Azzi paused. “Shy. But once she warms up? She’s loud, affectionate, stubborn. Very opinionated about snacks.”

“She sounds amazing,” Ines said, grinning. “Can we meet her? I mean.... not today, obviously, but... eventually?”

Caroline nodded. “Only if we pass the Sparklehorn vibe check, of course.”

Azzi blinked hard.

The tightness in her chest, the part that always coiled whenever she thought about people finding out, judging her, making her feel small, loosened just a little more.

“You guys really want to meet her?”

“Are you kidding?” Caroline said. “I already wanna babysit. I’ll bring a puppet. Or a tambourine.”

“I wanna be the chaotic aunt,” Ines said. “Like, the one who lets her eat ice cream before dinner.”

“She’ll love that,” Azzi murmured, smiling down at the photo again. “She already loves Paige.”

Caroline leaned in. “Okay, speaking of.... how’s that going?”

Azzi laughed, cheeks pinking. “It’s... really good. I told her about Ruby yesterday”

Both girls straightened.

“Damn,” Caroline said. “Big day.”

“It was,” Azzi said. “And she didn’t run. She stayed. Even said she wants to know Ruby. Like actually know her.”

Ines let out a long, low whistle. “I take it back. You’re the one who’s fully in.”

Azzi didn’t deny it.

She just smiled down at her screen, a little shaken, a little shy, but honest.

“Yeah,” she said softly. “I think I am.”

They didn’t pressure her to say more.

--------------------

When Caroline and Ines started packing up their bags, stretching and groaning about their next classes, Azzi lingered for a moment longer at the bench. Letting the sunlight rest on her hoodie. Let her fingers drift one more time over Ruby’s photo.

She hadn’t realized how scared she’d been to tell them — how deeply that fear had wrapped itself into her routine. The fear of being pitied. Or judged. Or worse, treated like she was someone else entirely.

But they hadn’t blinked.

They’d just seen her.

All of her.

And they still stayed.

Her phone buzzed once breaking her out of her thoughts.

Paige:

    We’re on for tonight, right? I already warmed up my toothbrush vocals. Ruby’s not ready for the high notes.

Azzi grinned.

She typed back:

    You’re so weird.

Then another message:

    But yes. You’re in the bedtime lineup. She’s been talking about “the unicorn girl” all day.

The reply came instantly.

    That’s the title I’ve always wanted.

Azzi smiled again, smaller this time. Softer. She slipped her phone into her pocket and started toward the gym, her footsteps slow but steady.

It was strange, she thought, how quickly everything was changing.

How the world still looked the same, the same path she always walked, the same lockers and doors and polished courts waiting ahead, but she didn’t feel the same walking through it.

She felt fuller. Heavier in some places, lighter in others.

Like she wasn’t holding it all alone anymore.

She rounded the corner and the gym came into view.

The familiar sound of basketballs bouncing and sneakers squeaking echoed through the open doors.

Practice was next.

The world didn’t stop just because she was starting to feel whole again.

But this time... she didn’t mind.

--------------------

The gym always had its own kind of weather — sharp air from the vents, the polished floor reflecting overhead lights like a mirror to every misstep. On Mondays, it smelled faintly like citrus cleaner and tired ambition.

Practice was supposed to be low intensity to start the week. Just a shake-out, a reset. But no one believed that lie anymore, not after three years under Coach Auriemma. By the second drill, half the team was already sweating through their warmups, and the sound of sneakers squeaking over shouted directions echoed like a storm in progress.

Azzi didn’t mind the pace. She liked the rhythm. The repetition. The way her body could stay busy while her thoughts worked themselves out quietly in the background.

Except... her thoughts weren’t quiet today.

Not when Paige was across the court, hair in a messy bun, compression tee clinging to her back, mouth slightly open as she caught her breath between reps.

Not when Paige kept glancing her way in those tiny, almost-not-there flickers. The kind that said I know you’re watching, because I’m watching too.

Azzi dropped into a defensive slide, cutting across the baseline, keeping her body low and focused, at least on the outside.

Inside, she was still thinking about the messages Paige had sent this morning.

Still thinking about how Ruby had squealed her name like they’d been best friends for years.

Still thinking about the way Paige had said, “Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Hey.” Caroline jogged up beside her during water break, nudging her elbow. “You good?”

Azzi took a swig from her water bottle. “Yeah. Why?”

“You keep zoning out. And smiling. It’s unnerving.”

“I’m not smiling.”

“You’re literally smiling right now.”

Azzi rolled her eyes, but it was half-hearted.

From across the court, Paige caught her gaze again. Brief. Casual.

But her smirk said everything.

Azzi looked down at her bottle like it held the answers.

Keep it chill, she told herself. Play it cool.

Which was hard when Paige looked like that in practice gear.

When they rotated into 2-on-2 drills, Paige ended up subbing into Azzi’s group, completely by accident, or at least that’s what she claimed. The second they were side by side, stretching, Azzi could feel the tension shift around them like heat rising off the floor.

“You’re quiet today,” Paige murmured, not looking over.

Azzi bent deeper into her lunge. “Trying to focus.”

“Mm. On basketball, or on not smiling when I look at you?”

Azzi turned her head slightly. “You’re so cocky.”

“You like it.”

Azzi didn’t answer. She didn’t need to, the smirk tugging at her mouth gave her away.

Caroline, now watching from the sideline, narrowed her eyes like a bloodhound. “Oh my God.”

“What?” Ines asked, coming up beside her.

Caroline pointed. “That. Whatever that is.”

Ines followed her line of sight. “Oh. Oh.”

Nika wandered over with a towel around her neck, caught their expressions, and turned just in time to see Azzi and Paige bump shoulders coming off a screen.

“That’s new,” Nika said casually.

Caroline nodded. “They’re doing a thing.”

“A thing-thing?”

“A thing-thing.”

Ines: “We’re sure it’s not, like, just competitive banter?”

Paige, at that moment, passed the ball behind her back and gave Azzi a look over her shoulder that could melt glass.

Ines: “Okay yeah. That’s not banter.”

By the time drills ended, the energy was less chaotic and more conspiratorial.

Nika collapsed on the floor beside Paige during cooldown and muttered, “You’re not slick, you know.”

Paige tossed a towel over her face. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Nika pulled it off. “You are literally making heart-eyes at Azzi in HD.”

“I am stretching.”

“You’re flirting while stretching. Which is a whole new level of multitasking.”

Paige grinned, but didn’t deny it.

Across the court, Caroline was helping Azzi unlace her sneakers. “So... you gonna tell the rest of us when it’s official? Or do we just get surprise invites to the wedding?”

Azzi threw a sock at her. “I hate you.”

“No you don’t,” Caroline said sweetly. “You love me. Like you love unicorn girls and bedtime routines.”

Azzi rolled her eyes, but couldn’t quite hide the smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

Ines leaned over from the bench, grinning. “So... it’s happening tonight, right?”

Azzi paused mid-motion, her fingers still on the knot of her sneaker.

“Yeah,” she said softly. “First FaceTime. Ruby’s already picked out her toothbrush song. Paige has no idea what she’s in for.”

Caroline let out a low whistle. “You nervous?”

Azzi gave a short laugh. “Like, stomach-doing-cartwheels nervous.”

“She’s gonna love her,” Ines said. “I mean, if she’s still here after everything you told her? That’s not someone who scares easy.”

Azzi nodded slowly, glancing across the gym again.

Paige was stretching out near the sideline, towel around her neck, quietly talking to Nika. She wasn’t looking over. But something about her posture, relaxed, present, still made Azzi’s pulse skip.

“I think she will,” Azzi murmured. “I just… don’t want to get it wrong.”

Caroline bumped her knee gently. “You won’t. You’re already doing it right.”

Ines grinned. “And if she survives the bedtime concert? That’s the real test.”

Azzi laughed, nervous, hopeful, real.

Then looked toward Paige again.

And this time, Paige looked back.

Like she knew the whole conversation had been about her.

And maybe, just maybe, that was okay.

--------------------

Paige checked her phone for the third time in a minute, even though she knew Azzi wasn’t late.

It was just after 7:45 p.m., and the soft hum of campus life had already quieted. From the hallway came the occasional thud of someone dropping a textbook, a distant laugh, the dull scuff of socks against tile. But inside her dorm room, it was still. Still and too quiet, like the kind of stillness right before something important begins.

She’d changed shirts twice. Not because she was trying to impress a toddler, she told herself, but because the first one had toothpaste on the collar and the second made her feel like a substitute teacher. She finally settled on a plain blue tee, sleeves rolled once. Clean. Casual. Not trying too hard.

Why am I nervous? she thought, sitting cross-legged on her bed.

The phone buzzed.

Incoming FaceTime: Azzi 

Paige’s stomach flipped like a gymnast.

She pressed accept, and the screen filled instantly with chaos.

Ruby appeared mid-spin, curls flying, arms flapping like she was conducting a symphony. Sparklehorn was clutched in one hand, wearing what looked like a doll-sized tiara. The screen wobbled dramatically until Azzi’s voice came into frame, breathless.

“Sorry. She insisted on calling.”

“Mama, it’s her! It’s the unicorn girl! Paigey”

Azzi appeared properly now, crouched beside Ruby, her hair half-tied and looking like she’d already had a full day of negotiations. She looked beautiful.

“Hi,” Paige said, suddenly feeling a little breathless herself.

“Hi,” Azzi said back, eyes warm, tired, fond. “We’re about five minutes into the pre-bedtime hyperdrive.”

Ruby leaned in so close to the camera her nose fogged the lens. “I can see you!”

“You can,” Paige said, grinning. “Hi Ruby.”

Ruby blinked, as if seeing Paige live and talking was somehow different than imagining her from Sparklehorn stories.

“You not on the phone before,” Ruby said seriously.

Paige nodded. “That’s true. I wasn’t.”

“Why not?” Ruby demanded.

Azzi gently pulled her daughter back so her face wasn’t all nostril. “Be gentle, Roo.”

“No, it’s okay,” Paige said, shifting a little so the light from her lamp hit better. “I didn’t know I was invited. But I’m really glad I am now.”

Ruby seemed to accept that. She turned to Sparklehorn. “She say nice things. You like her now.”

Azzi snorted.

“So,” Paige said, still grinning, “what’s the plan for tonight? I hear there’s a song?”

Ruby lit up like a switch had been flipped. “YES.”

“She’s been workshopping it all day,” Azzi added. “I warned you.”

“I’m ready.”

Ruby cleared her throat dramatically and stood on what looked like the edge of her mattress. She held Sparklehorn in front of her like a mic, then pointed a tiny toothbrush at the camera.

“You have to brush and dance,” she said.

“Wait—what?”

“Rules,” Ruby replied, dead serious.

Azzi muttered, “Welcome to hell.”

The music started, Azzi had clearly queued up some kind of instrumental remix of the alphabet song with an aggressive amount of cowbell layered in.

Ruby began bouncing in place, brushing her teeth in erratic swipes, yelling along to her self-invented lyrics:

“Brush the teef, left and right!

Up and down, don’t start a fight!

Get the back, get the side,

SPARKLEHORN SAY ‘OPEN WIDE!’”

Paige lost it.

She actually dropped her phone for a second from laughing.

Ruby, however, was in full performer mode. She continued dancing, stomping, brushing, spinning until her hair flared like a halo.

Azzi looked directly into the camera and mouthed: I warned you.

When Ruby finished, complete with a high-pitched “DAAAAHN!” and a bow, Paige clapped. Sincerely, Loudly.

“That was amazing,” she said. “Ten out of ten.”

Ruby beamed. “You not brush!”

“I didn’t have a toothbrush ready!”

“You have hands!”

“Hands don’t brush teeth!”

Ruby crossed her arms. “Then you need to practice more.”

Azzi cracked up, covering her mouth to keep the sound in.

“You okay?” Paige asked, laughing.

“I just...” Azzi shook her head. “She owns you already. It’s over.”

Paige smirked. “I accept my defeat.”

Ruby laid down abruptly, arms flopping wide. “I tired now.”

“Wow,” Azzi said, raising her brows. “That’s a first.”

“Too much sparkle,” Ruby mumbled into her pillow.

Azzi reached over and pulled the blanket gently over her. “You want to say goodnight?”

Ruby turned her head toward the phone again, hair half stuck to her face.

“Goodnight, Paigey. You can come over next time. I give you your own toothbrush.”

Paige smiled. “Thanks, Ruby. I’d like that.”

Ruby paused. “You have to name it though.”

“Name... my toothbrush?”

“Duh,” Ruby said. “Mine is Mr. Bluey.”

Azzi whispered, “She’s got naming rules. Don’t get stuck.”

Paige thought for a moment. “How about... Captain Sparklechew?”

Ruby let out a delighted shriek and started clapping against her pillow.

“Okay! You can keep that one!”

When Ruby finally flopped onto her pillow in a dramatic “I’m done now” sprawl, Paige felt like she’d run a full emotional marathon — giddy, dizzy, a little breathless.

Azzi returned on screen after tucking Ruby in, camera swaying softly as she walked into the hallway and into what must’ve been her room. The light was low, just her bedside lamp, warm and honey-toned against her skin. She set the phone down on a stack of books and sat cross-legged on her bed, her hair falling messily to one side, hoodie loose on her frame.

“I feel like I was the one who just did a live concert and got paid with a toothbrush.”

Azzi grinned, rubbing her temple. “She was so hyped you were there.”

“I’ll take it,” Paige said, propping her chin in her hand. “You looked really good just now, by the way.”

Azzi blinked. “When?”

“When you were in full mum-mode,” Paige said, not flinching. “Blanket over her shoulders, gentle voice, everything.”

Azzi tucked a knee to her chest, watching Paige from the screen. “I thought I looked like chaos.”

“You looked like home,” Paige murmured.

Azzi’s breath caught.

And in that soft pause, everything else seemed to dim, the quiet shuffle of dorm noise outside Paige’s door, the echo of Ruby’s song still in the back of her head, the ache in her shoulders from practice.

It was just them.

“I liked hearing your voice in our house,” Azzi said, almost whispering now.

“You’re gonna have to get used to it,” Paige replied, smile tugging at one corner of her mouth. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Even when Sparklehorn kicks you out?”

“I’ll fight Sparklehorn,” Paige deadpanned. “I’ve beaten the claw machine once. I can do it again.”

Azzi let out a soft, breathy laugh. “You’re kind of ridiculous.”

“And yet...”

Azzi smiled, slower now. “And yet I’m still here.”

They both fell quiet for a beat, but it wasn’t empty.

It was full. Like the stretch of silence between two people who don’t need to fill it anymore.

“Stay on the call?” Azzi asked after a while. Her voice had dipped, husky with sleep and something sweeter.

“Yeah,” Paige said, already shifting so she could lie down.

Azzi turned her camera so it faced her pillow, still catching her face in profile. Her hair was splayed across the sheets, eyes fluttering heavier by the second.

“You okay?” Paige asked, voice low now too, sleep-drunk and tender.

Azzi nodded, curling into her blanket. “You’re still here.”

That was all she needed to say.

Paige swallowed. “Yeah. I’m still here.”

Eventually, the screen dimmed slightly but stayed on, just the soft glow of Azzi’s room, the occasional rustle of sheets, and Paige’s own reflection hovering in the corner.

And sometime between her third yawn and the sixth time she blinked too slowly, Paige fell asleep.

--------------------

Paige stirred before her alarm — eyes opening slowly to the faint blue of pre-dawn light cutting through her blinds.

Her phone screen was still lit.

She blinked and reached for it, heart lurching slightly as the FaceTime screen came into view.

Azzi was still asleep.

So was Ruby.

The camera had shifted sometime during the night. Now Paige could see both of them, Azzi curled on her side, one arm wrapped protectively around Ruby, who was nestled into her chest with Sparklehorn smushed between them like a VIP guest.

Paige didn’t move.

She just stared for a moment, breath quiet, eyes soft, chest full in a way she wasn’t ready to name.

They looked peaceful.

Azzi’s mouth was slightly open, lashes fanned against her cheek. Ruby had one tiny fist tangled in Azzi’s hoodie, her curls a wild halo around her head. Sparklehorn was missing an ear bend and looked like he’d been through battle.

Paige reached for the screenshot button.

click.

Then she opened the text thread.

Paige:

    sparklehorn stole my spot

She hit send.

Waited.

Then, after a few more seconds of watching them, of letting herself have this one quiet, private moment, she ended the call.

The screen went dark.

But the feeling in her chest isn't

She fell back onto her pillow, phone against her heart, smile tugging at her lips like something just barely contained.

And for the first time in a long time, she didn’t dread waking up.

--------------------

Azzi stirred when a tiny elbow jabbed her in the ribs.

“Mmm....Roo…”

Ruby snored softly beside her, Sparklehorn draped over her like a weighted blanket.

Azzi squinted into the early morning light, blinked twice, and reached for her phone. The FaceTime screen was dark.

She frowned for a moment, had Paige hung up?

Then the text preview lit up:

Paige:

    sparklehorn stole my spot

Azzi’s heart clenched.

She opened the image — and saw what Paige had seen.

Her. Ruby. Curled together.

Safe. Real. Whole.

She didn’t cry.

But her eyes stung.

She looked down at her daughter, still drooling into Sparklehorn’s mane, and whispered, “She’s already part of us, isn’t she?”

Ruby didn’t answer, of course.

But Sparklehorn’s crooked glitter horn caught the light like it agreed.

Azzi stared at the photo again, thumb hovering over the screen.

She hadn’t expected to wake up to something that made her chest ache and flutter at the same time. The sight of herself, vulnerable, real, and Ruby curled against her like she always did on mornings after long nights… and the knowledge that Paige had seen that. Had stayed. Had captured it.

Her throat tightened.

She tapped into the message thread and typed slowly:

Azzi:

    she didn’t mean to

    but i think she’s claimed you too

She hit send.

Paused.

Then followed with:

    next time you’re here in person, she’ll probably make you sleep on the Sparklehorn pillow tho. fair warning.

Then, after a minute of staring at the screen, she added one more:

    you looked really good on my screen last night, btw. especially under a blanket of unicorn chaos.

--------------------

The sunlight hit her pillow before her alarm did.

Paige stirred slowly, limbs stiff with sleep, the edge of her phone still tucked beneath her cheek. The screen had gone dark hours ago when she hung up, but her body remembered the glow, remembered Azzi’s voice curling around her just before she’d slipped under. She stayed still for a few seconds, blinking up at the ceiling, the hum of morning quiet settling over her chest like a blanket she didn’t want to shake off.

Then the text buzzed.

Azzi.

she didn’t mean to

but i think she’s claimed you too

Paige’s lips curled. She could practically hear the sleep still caught in Azzi’s tone, the hush of her mornings, like every word was wrapped in the softness of Ruby still curled beside her. She read it again. And again. Something in her chest pulled warm and low.

Another ping.

next time you’re here in person, she’ll probably make you sleep on the Sparklehorn pillow tho. fair warning.

Paige laughed into the silence. Actually laughed — the kind that cracked something open gently. She reached for the phone, still smiling, when a third message came through.

you looked really good on my screen last night, btw. especially under a blanket of unicorn chaos.

Her fingers hesitated, her heart tightening with something that wasn’t fear. She stared at the message until her smile deepened into something softer. More real. Then typed without thinking:

you and ruby last night... I've never seen something that made me want to stay in one place so badly.

She sent it before she could overthink it, then flipped her phone over, screen-down, and sat up.

The moment of stillness didn't last.

Because her phone buzzed again.

Azzi, again.

heads up, Ruby and I are coming to the team breakfast. kinda unavoidable this morning.

she doesn’t usually do early mornings with me but... here we are please don’t panic and i'm sorry this had to be how you first meet her in person.

Paige sat bolt upright in bed like she'd been struck by lightning. Her pulse kicked hard. She stared at the message like it might change if she read it a second time, then a third. But the words stayed the same.

Ruby was coming.

To breakfast.

In the next thirty minutes.

She checked the clock. 7:12 a.m. Her stomach flipped. Not because she wasn’t ready, emotionally, she’d been ready for days, but because this was now. No warning. No quiet moment to meet Ruby for the first time. No gentle, private transition. Just... fluorescent lighting, cereal bowls, and twelve of their teammates trying not to stare.

Her thumbs tapped a rushed reply.

"okay. okay. um. good to know. Thank you for the warning. I am totally not spiraling. not at all"

Azzi’s response was instant.

"you’re gonna be great. she already adores you."

Paige dropped her phone onto the comforter and dragged both hands down her face, groaning quietly. She wanted this. God, she wanted this, to meet Ruby, to step into this part of Azzi’s life. But she hadn’t expected it to be so fast. She hadn’t expected to feel like her heart was caught somewhere between a free-fall and a safety net.

She threw the blankets off and opened her dresser, rifling through sweats and hoodies until she landed on something soft and worn comfort clothes, something that didn’t scream panic. But as she pulled the hoodie over her head, her eyes flicked toward her desk. Her wallet. Her keys.

And an idea.

Without thinking, she grabbed them and bolted out the door.

The campus store had just opened, the lights still half-lit and flickering as a sleepy-looking senior restocked a display of protein shakes near the register. Paige slipped in with her hood up, heart pounding, sneakers squeaking faintly against the floor. She moved quickly to the back where the novelty kids’ stuff was, a wall of small trinkets, toys, and rainbow-bright chaos.

She scanned the shelves like she was preparing for a toddler apocalypse. Stickers. Coloring books. Bubble wands. Plastic tiaras. Nothing felt right.

Then she crouched low and spotted it, a tiny, glittery unicorn-shaped lip balm with a raspberry scent and sparkly horn. It was ridiculous. And perfect. She turned it over in her hand, smiling despite herself.

“Hi, I’m Sparklehorn Junior,” she whispered, testing a voice, before shaking her head at herself.

A shelf over, she grabbed a pink bag of frosted animal cookies, not too sweet, not boring, and cute enough to count as an official offering. She clutched both items like sacred objects and paid fast, nerves prickling with urgency.

Back in her room, she dropped the bag gently onto her bed and let out a breath. Her hands were shaking.

Shower. Ponytail. Hoodie. Breathe.

She moved through it all on autopilot, then stood in front of the mirror, hands gripping the edge of the desk. This wasn’t a date. It wasn’t even about Azzi. It was about Ruby. About showing up. About being the kind of person who could meet a two-and-a-half-year-old’s glitter-soaked standards.

Just as she grabbed a protein bar, a knock landed at her door.

KK let herself in a second later, already mid-sentence. “You alive?”

“Technically,” Paige muttered.

“I brought backup,” KK said, lobbing a bar toward her desk. “Also, you’re gonna want to brace yourself. Azzi just dropped a full team chat bomb.”

Paige opened her mouth, but KK was already scrolling. “Direct quote: ‘Heads up I’ll be a little late, had to bring Ruby (my daughter) with me this morning, long story, pls don’t be weird.’”

She looked up, eyebrows practically doing cartwheels. “Did you know she had a kid?”

Paige blinked, trying to play it cool, but she hesitated, just a beat.

KK gasped. “You knew?!”

“She told me a few days ago,” Paige said, tone quiet but steady. “She hadn’t told anyone else. I wasn’t going to break her trust.”

KK blinked. Then pointed dramatically. “Okay, wow. You kept a secret. Look at you. Emotionally mature. Mysterious. Are we calling this growth?”

“I didn’t think breakfast would be the big reveal,” Paige muttered, rubbing the back of her neck.

KK plopped onto the bed and gave her a long, appraising look. “You’re spiraling.”

“I’m not.”

“You are. This is the same face you make when Coach tells us we’re running suicides with resistance bands.”

“It’s just…” Paige exhaled. “It’s a lot. I didn’t think the first time I’d meet her would be so… public.”

KK grinned. “You mean the first time you’d meet your girlfriend’s toddler while everyone watches you try not to cry?”

“She’s not” Paige stopped, cheeks pink. “We’re not… titles are complicated.”

“Oh my God,” KK said, collapsing dramatically backward onto the bed. “You’re already shopping for matching unicorn sweatshirts.”

“I went to the campus store,” Paige said with a sigh. “Got her lip balm. And cookies.”

KK sat up like she’d been electrocuted. “You got her lip balm?!”

“It’s shaped like a unicorn.”

“Oh my God. You’re done. You’re gonna let that kid braid your hair and tell you what to watch and call you ‘Paigey’ and you’re going to like it.”

Paige didn’t respond.

KK stared for another beat, then burst out laughing. “Come on, lover girl. Breakfast is in twenty. Let’s go see if you survive the toddler test.”

--------------------

By the time she stepped into the dining hall, the space was already alive with clinking plates, low chatter, and the steady hum of a team trying their best to act normal despite the monumental shift in their morning. Caroline and Ines were huddled near the back table, practically vibrating with anticipation, while KK sat with her legs stretched out and a bowl of cereal perched in her lap like she was front row at a red carpet premiere. The rest of the girls had adopted varying levels of performative nonchalance, eyes flicking toward the entrance every few seconds, spoons pausing midair, conversations trailing off and picking back up again with awkward timing.

“Okay,” Ines said the second Paige slid into a seat. “Deep breaths. Smile friendly. Don’t make sudden movements.”

“She’s not a deer,” Paige replied, trying to ignore the way her hands clenched slightly in her lap. “She’s two.”

“Exactly,” Caroline muttered. “No filter. Random violence. Can smell weakness.”

“She’s not feral,” Paige said, laughing under her breath. “She’s just got good instincts.”

KK raised an eyebrow. “So what’s my vibe? Dangerous? Adorable? Unstable aunt energy?”

“You’ll find out in about thirty seconds,” Paige said, glancing toward the door.

Because there right on cue, was Azzi.

Holding a tiny hand.

Ruby trotted alongside her mother in light-up sneakers that blinked faint purple with every step. Her cupcake backpack bounced against her lower back, and Sparklehorn’s glittery horn peeked from the top zipper like a scout surveying enemy territory. Her curls were pulled into two fluffy puffs, neat and shiny, and Paige’s heart clenched at the sight. The second Ruby’s eyes found her, across the room, through the noise, like a beacon, she stopped. And then, she ran.

No hesitation. No shyness. Just full-speed toddler enthusiasm, legs pumping, puffs bouncing, eyes wide with glee.

Paige barely had time to react before a small body collided into her legs with surprising force. Ruby wrapped both arms around her knees like a vice, face pressed into her sweats.

“Paigey!” she announced, voice muffled but thrilled.

The team froze.

Paige’s mouth parted in surprise, then softened into the biggest, most helpless smile she’d worn in weeks. She crouched down, gently brushing one of Ruby’s curls away from her cheek.

“Hi, Roo” she said, voice low. “Missed me already?”

Ruby nodded fiercely, then squinted up at Paige, all suspicion. “Did you brush your teeth this morning?”

Paige blinked. “Uh… yeah?”

Ruby didn’t budge. “The song?”

Paige tried not to laugh. “What song?”

Ruby gasped, scandalized. “Paigey.”

Azzi was already smiling, shaking her head.

Ruby pulled back just enough to perform it on the spot, serious, rhythmic, complete with tiny hand motions: “Brush the teef, left and right! Up and down, don’t start a fight! Get the back, get the side, SPARKLEHORN SAY ‘OPEN WIDE!’”

The table went silent for a half-beat, and then Ines choked on her water.

Paige clutched her chest, feigning heartbreak. “Oh no. I totally forgot to ask Sparklehorn.”

Ruby stared at her, scandalized. Then gently patted her cheek like a disappointed grandparent. “Next time, okay?”

“Next time,” Paige vowed solemnly. “Cross my heart.”

Azzi leaned in, smirking. “Wow. Forgot the song? That’s tough. Rookie mistake.”

“Harsh crowd,” Paige muttered, but she was smiling, soft and completely smitten.

At that, Ruby pulled back, eyes wide. Paige reached into the small campus bag still looped around her wrist and held out the unicorn-shaped lip balm first, glitter glinting under the overhead lights.

Ruby gasped like she’d just witnessed a miracle. “Is that… Sparklehorn lips?!”

“Limited edition,” Paige said solemnly. “Only for very important people.”

Ruby snatched it out of her hand and turned to show Azzi, who had finally reached them, laughter already tugging at her mouth. “Mama! Look!”

Azzi glanced at the lip balm and then at Paige, raising a brow. “You didn’t have to do all that.”

Paige shrugged, trying to play it off, but her ears were pink. “It’s just a little something.”

Azzi leaned in slightly, voice warm. “You’re such a simp.”

Before Paige could respond, Ruby gasped again as Paige pulled the second item from the bag, the frosted animal cookies. “Ohmygosh,” she whispered reverently. “Those are my favourite snack. Sparklehorn like them too.”

“I figured,” Paige said with a wink. “You two have elite taste.”

Ruby beamed. And then, without prompting, she launched herself into Paige’s arms again, this time with more trust than speed. Paige caught her easily, lifting her like she’d done it a hundred times. One hand at Ruby’s back, the other tucked beneath her legs, she stood, the picture of quiet certainty.

Behind them, the table had gone completely silent.

“I think I’m gonna cry,” Caroline said, eyes wide.

Ruby peeked up from Paige’s shoulder, blinking once at the table full of unfamiliar faces before immediately tucking her head back down, arms tightening around Paige’s neck.

“She’s shy,” Azzi explained softly. “She just needs time.”

“That’s okay,” Paige murmured. “She doesn’t have to be anything she’s not.”

Azzi met her gaze across the small space between them, something unspoken settling like warmth in her chest. Paige wasn’t putting on a show. She wasn’t doing this to impress anyone. She was just... here. Holding Ruby like she was already part of her rhythm.

They made their way to the table, Paige with Ruby still curled up in her arms, Azzi sliding into the seat beside her. Ruby refused to move, legs draped over Paige’s lap, one hand tightly holding Sparklehorn and the other cradling the lip balm like it was made of gold.

Caroline leaned over, keeping her voice low. “Hey Ruby. Those look pretty tasty.”

Ruby didn’t answer. Just clutched Sparklehorn tighter and leaned more heavily into Paige.

“She’s warming up,” Paige said, tucking a curl behind Ruby’s ear. “She just likes to observe first.”

KK nodded sagely. “Same. I’m also shy and require cookies.”

Ruby didn’t look up, but she whispered something near Paige’s collarbone.

“She said she likes your hair,” Paige relayed, smiling.

KK’s hand flew to her chest. “Okay, that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me. I’ll never recover.”

Ines giggled into her orange juice. “The queen has spoken.”

Azzi, now relaxed enough to sip her coffee, watched the way the table adjusted without being asked, voices staying low, energy softening around them like someone had hit a dimmer switch. Not one person reached out to grab Ruby’s attention or demand her affection. They just made room. Gave her space. Followed Paige’s lead.

When Ruby muttered something about her pancakes being “too big,” Paige didn’t miss a beat. She reached for Ruby’s plate, cutting each piece into perfect little squares like it was second nature. She wiped syrup from sticky fingers, brushed crumbs from her hoodie, and shifted Ruby gently without ever losing her flow of conversation with the rest of the table.

“She likes them cubed,” Azzi said under her breath. “Even when I cut them into stars, she still complains.”

“She’s a texture purist,” Paige replied, grinning. “I respect the commitment.”

Azzi shook her head, smiling into her coffee. And then, after a beat, softer: “She really does adore you.”

“I’m kind of obsessed with her too,” Paige said, so quietly Azzi almost missed it.

--------------------

Eventually, Ruby let out a sigh, leaned further into Paige, and rested her head under her chin like she’d just declared her territory. Her thumb slipped into her mouth, Sparklehorn tucked under one arm, and Paige adjusted without thought, one hand cradling her and the other sliding under the table to lace gently with Azzi’s.

Neither of them looked down.

They didn’t need to.

When Caroline asked, only half-joking, “So... does Sparklehorn come to every breakfast or just the special ones?” Azzi smiled into her toast.

“Only when there are pancakes. She has standards.”

Ruby stirred, peeking up just enough to declare, “She ate five. But she not full yet.”

Paige nodded with mock seriousness. “That’s impressive. Might beat my record.”

Ruby squinted up at her, unimpressed. “No. Sparklehorn always wins.”

Paige bowed her head. “Naturally. Glitter powers.”

Ruby smiled, eyes already drifting shut again.

--------------------

Azzi didn’t know how long they sat like that. Ten minutes? Twenty? It felt like no time and all the time in the world. The table hummed with soft conversation. The clinking of forks. The warmth of people adjusting to a new rhythm without question.

When breakfast finally wound down, Paige leaned her head slightly against Ruby’s, her voice quiet as she murmured something Azzi couldn’t hear.

Ruby nodded.

And for the first time all morning, she sat up and looked directly at Caroline.

“Thank you,” she said, voice small and sincere.

Caroline blinked. “For what?”

“For not bein’ loud,” Ruby replied, then turned back into Paige’s chest.

Caroline looked like she might actually tear up. Ines patted her on the back.

Ruby yawned against Paige’s chest, a tiny sound that barely registered above the clatter of silverware and quiet morning conversation. She was still curled up tight, but her limbs had gone loose, heavy with the kind of sleepiness that came after a full belly and too much stimulation. Her head lolled against Paige’s shoulder, curls brushing beneath her chin, and her thumb found its way back to her mouth without ceremony. Paige didn’t move, just adjusted her grip to keep Ruby supported with one arm while she reached for her water glass with the other.

Azzi watched it all from beside them, still picking at her toast, not because she was hungry but because she didn’t want to move yet. She could feel it, the closeness, the quiet, the sense that something had settled between them all that hadn’t been there before. It wasn’t just about Ruby anymore. It was about what Paige had stepped into without flinching. Without being asked. The way she held Ruby like she’d done it a hundred times. The way she didn’t apologise for it. Like it was natural.

Caroline and KK had shifted into a conversation about practice rotations, giving the table a bit of space. Ines was scrolling on her phone beside them, humming softly to herself. Sparklehorn lay flopped across the table like a passed-out party guest, syrup crusted in her mane.

Azzi leaned slightly into Paige’s side, her voice pitched low. “She’s never fallen asleep on anyone but me and my mum.”

Paige glanced down at Ruby’s drowsy form, then back up, her mouth tugging into something soft and stunned. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Azzi’s hand brushed against Paige’s forearm, deliberate and slow. “You’re kind of ruining her standards.”

Paige’s smile deepened, her eyes holding Azzi’s for a moment that stretched. “Guess I’ll have to keep showing up, then. Set the bar even higher.”

There was something in Azzi’s chest that twisted at that, not in fear, not this time. But in recognition. A moment of clarity so quiet it almost hurt. Paige wasn’t just here. She was in it. With her. With Ruby. With both.

Ruby stirred, nose scrunching as she blinked blearily, her voice small and groggy. “Done eatin’, Mama…”

Azzi reached over and brushed a thumb across her cheek. “Yeah, baby. All done.”

“Where’s Bunny?” Ruby mumbled.

“In the car, remember? You brought Sparklehorn instead.”

Ruby clutched Sparklehorn tighter, eyes still closed. “She tired too.”

Paige laughed quietly and adjusted her arm again, starting to rise. “Want me to carry her out?”

Azzi nodded, already stacking her plate onto her tray. “If you don’t mind. She’ll probably be out again before we even get to the door.”

Caroline looked over, her tone still easy but laced with something deeper now. “Hey, thanks for letting us meet her.”

Azzi paused, just for a second, and then gave a small nod. “Thanks for not making it weird.”

Ines added, “She’s got an intimidating vibe. I respect it.”

They stood slowly, carefully, like moving too fast might burst whatever peace had formed around the table. Ruby let out a little sigh as Paige hoisted her more firmly, her tiny arms draped limply over Paige’s shoulder, cheek pressed against her collarbone like it was always meant to be there. Azzi gathered their trash with one hand and reached for Sparklehorn with the other, tucking the plush under her arm as she followed while Paige grabbed Ruby's backpack in her spare hand.

Behind them, the team lingered in the soft aftermath, not the kind of hush that came with awkwardness, but the kind that followed a moment worth absorbing. The kind that told you something had just shifted, even if you couldn’t name it yet.

--------------------

As they stepped toward the doors, Azzi glanced sideways, watching Paige hold her daughter like she’d been born to carry something that delicate. Paige looked back, just briefly. Just enough for Azzi to reach out and touch her fingers to the small of Paige’s back, not to guide, not to hurry.

Just to be near.

The morning air was crisp, not cold, but just sharp enough to lift the sleepiness from Azzi’s limbs as they walked toward her car. Ruby was still draped against Paige’s shoulder like a breathing scarf, her fingers curled gently into the fabric of Paige’s hoodie, her cheek squished adorably against the collarbone she’d claimed as her pillow. Paige held her easily, like she’d been doing it for years, one arm beneath her knees, the other wrapped protectively around her back. The tiny backpack now slung awkwardly around Paige's back. 

They reached the car, and Azzi unlocked the doors with a soft chirp from her keys. As Paige bent slightly to ease Ruby toward the car seat, she glanced up.

“So…” Paige said, voice quiet, “what happened this morning? Why’d you end up having to bring her?”

Azzi moved to open the back door, brushing hair out of her face as she exhaled. “Daycare texted. Power outage or something, totally shut down for the day. My parents were already out, and I didn’t want to cancel last minute on practice breakfast. She was already up, so I figured… what the hell.”

Paige smiled as she gently laid Ruby into the seat. “Worked out okay, I think.”

Azzi reached past her checking to make sure Paige buckled the harness correctly, fingers moving automatically, practiced. “Better than okay,” she murmured, glancing sideways. “I think she’s in love with you now.”

Paige leaned back as Azzi checked the final buckle and shut the door gently, sealing Ruby in with her half-finished dreams and a syrup-stained Sparklehorn.

They turned to face each other in the quiet.

“You look really hot when you do that, by the way,” Azzi said, voice low and unfiltered.

Paige blinked. “Clip in a toddler?”

Azzi nodded, back pressed against the car, one hand still on the handle. “Yeah. Like… dangerously hot.”

Paige raised a brow. “So all this time, I didn’t need game-winners or a three-point percentage? Just some car seat confidence?”

Azzi’s mouth curved. “Apparently.”

Paige stepped a little closer, enough that Azzi could feel the warmth of her in the space between them. “Good to know.”

The silence stretched for a beat, not awkward, just full of everything that had been building since Saturday. Since the arcade. Since the moment Paige leaned in and didn’t get to finish what she started.

Azzi let her eyes wander. Paige’s hands. Her mouth. Her eyes.

Then she laughed, softly, and shook her head. “So much for keeping things subtle.”

Paige looked amused. “In front of the team?”

“In front of anyone.” Azzi glanced toward the building. “Caroline nearly cried. KK’s probably making a TikTok analysis of your parenting technique. Ruby’s going to ask for you before I even get her home.”

Paige tilted her head. “She really clung to me, huh?”

“She doesn’t do that,” Azzi said, more serious now. “She’s never done that. Not with strangers.”

Paige’s expression softened. “I don’t feel like a stranger.”

“You’re not,” Azzi said, voice dropping slightly. “You haven’t been for a while.”

They were standing closer now, no real distance left between them. Paige’s hand brushed lightly against Azzi’s wrist, then lingered.

Azzi looked down at the contact and smiled, slow and teasing. “We’re not even dating yet, you know.”

“Yeah,” Paige murmured, her thumb sliding across Azzi’s skin. “I’ve noticed.”

“So what is this?” Azzi asked, not pulling away.

Paige leaned in, voice low and warm. “This is me trying really hard not to kiss you again in front of your sleeping child.”

Azzi laughed, breath catching. “God, I want you to.”

Paige’s smile flickered, not cocky, not showy, just quiet and open. “Then come here.”

Azzi didn’t hesitate.

She leaned in, hands slipping around Paige’s neck like it was already her favorite place to land. Paige met her halfway, their mouths brushing in a slow, careful kiss that deepened as the world around them blurred.

It wasn’t rushed. It wasn’t unsure.

It was everything they hadn’t let themselves have yet, soft and full and long overdue.

When they pulled back, their foreheads pressed together, Azzi kept her eyes closed for a second longer.

“I really like you,” she whispered, lips still brushing Paige’s.

“I know,” Paige whispered back. “I really like you too.”

Azzi opened her eyes. “What do we do now?”

Paige’s voice was soft, steady. “We don’t rush. But we don’t hold back either.”

Azzi nodded slowly. “Okay.”

They stood like that for another quiet moment, until the breeze tugged at Paige’s hair and a small snore sounded from inside the car.

Paige stepped back reluctantly, already missing the warmth of Azzi’s touch. “You gonna text me later?”

Azzi opened the driver’s side door and smiled over her shoulder. “Only if you promise not to ignore me for Sparklehorn.”

“No promises,” Paige said, grinning as she backed away.

Azzi laughed, slid into the driver’s seat, and gave her one last look, eyes bright, mouth tugging into something that felt like the start of everything.

Paige waved once, slow and small.

And Azzi drove off with her heart still thudding behind her ribs.

--------------------

The call came just after eight, right on schedule.

Paige was already in bed, one leg tangled in the blanket, hair damp from her shower, her phone resting beside her like it was waiting. The moment the screen lit up with Azzi’s name, Paige answered instantly.

She didn’t even get out a full “hello” before Ruby appeared, eyes bright and wild, Sparklehorn half-eaten by the camera’s edge.

“PAIGEY! We already brushed but you didn’t do yours yet!”

Paige blinked into the screen, then burst out laughing. “I didn’t realise I was on the clock.”

“You are! Sparklehorn said so,” Ruby declared, completely serious.

From somewhere behind the phone, Azzi’s voice floated in, low and amused. “She made me wait to start the video until she was sure you were in pajamas.”

Ruby narrowed her eyes into the screen like she could see through Paige’s phone. “You wear the UConn shirt again?”

Paige angled the camera toward her chest, grinning. “Is this one acceptable to the unicorn court?”

Ruby gave a sage nod. “You can do it now!”

The next few minutes passed in the usual chaos. Paige brushed her teeth in front of the camera while Ruby narrated instructions like she was hosting a cooking show. Paige had to “wiggle” at least twice or face disciplinary action from Sparklehorn. Azzi didn’t say much — Paige could hear her moving in the background, picking up toys or folding laundry, but the occasional laugh slipped through, soft and private.

Eventually, Ruby yawned mid-sentence and blinked heavily, Sparklehorn now drooping sideways across her chest like he’d given up too. Azzi appeared properly on screen then, hair tied back, hoodie loose and sleeves pushed up, face flushed with that end-of-the-day glow that Paige had started to crave.

“I think she’s winding down,” Azzi said, brushing a hand gently through Ruby’s curls as she settled onto the pillow beside her.

Ruby’s eyes were barely open now. “Night Paigey…”

“Night Roo,” Paige whispered. “Sweet dreams, okay?”

Ruby reached toward the screen once, touched the glass with her fingers like it was a real goodbye, and then let Azzi guide the phone away. There was a little jostling, some shuffling as Azzi tucked her in, murmured something about Sparklehorn being on guard duty, then the camera flipped, and it was just Azzi’s face again, framed by warm lamplight, her expression softer now. Quieter.

She settled back on her bed, phone propped in front of her. Paige mirrored her, both girls lying on their backs in different rooms, looking at each other like the distance didn’t matter.

“She was waiting all day,” Azzi said, voice lower now. “She asked three times if it was ‘FaceTime o’clock’ yet.”

“She might be the only person who’s ever scheduled me like that,” Paige replied, smiling lazily. “Not even Coach gets that kind of loyalty.”

Azzi laughed under her breath, then looked at her for a second longer before speaking again. “She really likes you already, you know.”

Paige blinked, suddenly still. “Yeah?”

Azzi nodded, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “It’s kind of ridiculous. She barely lets my dad carry her like that.”

“I really like her too,” Paige said quietly. “I even got a name change, Im now Paigey”

Azzi’s smile tugged wider, soft with amusement. “Honestly, I lost count after her third nickname for you. First it was the smiley one, then the unicorn girl, and now Paigey”

Paige laughed. “I think I’ve been promoted.”

Azzi smiled, “Yeah, well... once she starts renaming you, that’s it. You’re part of her world now.”

Paige glanced toward the photo booth strip hung up on her wall and smiled. “Feels like I am.”

Azzi looked at her for a long second and then, more quietly, “You are.”

The quiet between them stretched again — not heavy. Just full.

Then Paige shifted slightly, propping herself on one elbow. “Actually… I was gonna wait until tomorrow to ask you, but since we’re already having our very romantic post-toothbrushing moment…”

Azzi raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“I want to take you out,” Paige said, lips twitching. “Like, officially. Just us. Thursday night.”

Azzi blinked. “A date?”

“Yeah.” Paige’s voice was casual, but her eyes were serious. “If you’re free.”

“I’m free.” Azzi’s smile grew. “Where are we going?”

Paige leaned closer to the camera. “That’s a secret.”

“A secret?”

“You’ll like it,” Paige promised. “I have a plan.”

Azzi grinned. “You planning makes me nervous.”

“You should be,” Paige said, smug.

They both laughed, then slowly fell back into the quiet — the soft, late-night kind that didn’t need to be filled. Just felt.

After a while, Azzi’s voice came quieter. “Can I ask you something?”

Paige’s body stilled. “Of course.”

Azzi hesitated, then said gently, “Are you nervous about your mum coming to the game Friday?”

Paige exhaled slowly, the question landing with a softness that somehow still felt sharp. “Yeah. A little.”

Azzi didn’t speak, just let the space stay open for her.

Paige picked at a loose thread on her blanket. “She’s complicated. We’ve never really figured each other out. And seeing her with Ryan and Lauren always feels like… I don’t know. Like I’m visiting someone else’s life. One I’m not really part of anymore.”

Azzi’s voice was steady. “Does she know you feel that way?”

Paige shook her head. “I don’t think she wants to know.”

There was a pause. Azzi reached up to adjust her phone, eyes still on Paige. “You don’t have to carry that alone.”

Paige looked at her, really looked. “Yeah?”

Azzi nodded. “You know you’ve got a place here too, right?”

Paige swallowed around the lump in her throat. “Yeah. I’m starting to believe that.”

They didn’t say goodnight right away. They just watched each other, phones propped, matching shadows across both ceilings. And when Paige finally drifted off long after they stopped talking, her screen still glowed with Azzi’s face, quiet and still, eyes just starting to flutter closed too.

[thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch]

HiHIHI HOPE YOU'RE HAVING A GOOD DAY JUST WANTED TO SAY I LOVE YOUR WORKS

I just binge read every single one of your Boothill fics and they all got me kicking my feet and everything!! I love how you write him and Ore is so cute I could actually explode 💥💥💥

Take your time or you can choose to ignore but can I have a request of Ore going missing (it's very small if I recall, so I kinda imagine it getting stuck under the couch or something) and just Boothill helping to look for it? TYSM IF YOU DO!

thank you so much for reading and enjoying my content!! I honestly dont know if i'll ever be able to write a boothill fic without making the reader some sort of mechanic. i may just stop breathing if i try- you can pry mechanic reader out of my cold dead hands

[1k w.count]

but just imagine, boothill isn't even on planet. he's off somewhere else when his phone starts pinging like nuts. back to back messages and before his text-to-voice can kick in, it starts blaring with phone calls.

"dadgummit..! who in the-" boothill huffs and puff as he fishes his phone from the space beside him where he had left it charging. his irritation all but simmered down when he saw your contact name flash across his screen.

...sugar is calling...

one his brows quirk up and he almost frowns at the incoming call. the hell is this? you never call him. like ever. you dont really call anyone really- more of a messaging kindof person. not to say he wasn't thrilled to hear from you though.

"is blowin' up my phone a new hobby of yours or somethin'?" boothill doesn't bother with a hello when he answers. neither do you.

"i can't find it!" you screech into the receiver. the feedback from the call's inital pick up and your yelling has the cowboy pulling his phone from his ear with a wince. beside the feedback shot into his eardrum, the sound of something metal being... knocked over...? also enters his head.

"sugar, you know i aint got a clue what you're talkin' about. i'm not in your star system right now," boothill tries to reason. you sound pretty distressed all things considered. so, he should at least hear you out. if all else, he can turn this ship around and speed it back to you.

he hears you whine; a whine that soon escalates into a full-on frustrated groan. oh. you were definitely upset about something. the only other times he's heard you like this is when a project isn't working out at any angle at all and you're one step away from throwing it out the window.

"it's ore." your voice is muffled behind your hand as you speak. "i lost it." you sound so pitiful as you confess your shame in losing the small robot companion boothill had brought back for you a while ago now. "i took my eyes off it for two seconds- and it was just... gone!" ore was so small; it should be common knowledge that the robot can hide just about anywhere it can squeeze itself into- but it usually trails around after you like a lost puppy! so, you've gotten sloppy at keeping an eye on it.

"you're blowin' up my phone because you lost track of your lil' assistant robot?" on one hand, boothill feels a little flattered that you feel like you can call him for stuff like this. the stuff that isn't really life threatening or to only deliver horribly, dire news. just something that's more or less inconvenient. on the other? he's almost annoyed because what if he was in the middle of a bounty? he isn't... but what if.

eh, whatever, he wouldn't be mad even if that were the case.

"look," boothill swallows back a chuckle and forces out a sigh, "i'm sure it ain't far. lil' guy never wanders off too far from you. just sit tight and it'll right back come to you."

"but what if it doesn't? what if ore's like lost-lost. like super lost? i can't just-"

"sugar," boothill interrupts you. "remind me again who programmed it?"

theres a beat of silence. "me."

"uh-huh, that's right. and didn't that very same you also program him with the maps of locations you frequent, like your shop?"

"i did."

"and why's that, sugar?" boothill has taken to plopping himself down in one of the chairs in his ship. luckily the spacecraft has an auto-pilot function as well as a cruise function when he was preoccupied- like now- or when he wasn't on an active job. there's a smirk on his face. he wonders if you can hear it through your slight panic.

"so that if it got lost... it'd know the way back."

"bingo," boothill snaps his free fingers together. "so, just calm down."

the phone call lasts not too much longer. a few more worried words from you, as well as a slight pout that you had lost what he had given you which almost made his systems overheat. with a few more reassurances that ore would make its way back to your loving palms sooner than you'd think, the call ends.

the galaxy ranger laughs when he finally see's just how many messages you spammed him with before deciding to just call him. there was wayyy too many. he wishes he was more tech-smart so he could screenshot the damage and send it to you as a tease.

still, despite the absurdity of it all, boothill was glad you called. even though you were frantic, he was happy to hear your voice. then he huffs and deflates in his chair, knees spread apart and back slouched low against the back. if he still had human bones, his spine would surley disapprove of such a position.

now he just misses you. dammit.

two system hours later, his phone pings. another message from you with a picture attatched.

[sugar]: he crawled up under the workshop sofa and got stuck in a spring. i finally heard him beeping after i stopped tossing things around [image attached] [sugar]: might install a tracking program

boothill chuckles softly as he looks at the photo of you. soot and oil splotch on your nose and cheeks from whatever you were tinkering with that day. your googles were around your neck and he was glad to see you were still using them as you should be. on your shoulder was ore. hooked into its safety carabiner and using its little, metal arms to hug to your cheek. its digital expression was scrunched up with fake, pixeled tears.

damn. boothill really wishes he was more tech-savvy now. i mean come one! what kind of cyborg can be nearly all robot, know how to steer and command a spaceship and still not know how to change a phone's background!

next time he's by the express, he'll have to ask dan heng.

[cosmicsevils]

Luis fascinates the HELL out of me - he's both a relic and a survivor !

As someone who studies European history from the Reformation to Italy to the Spanish Inquisition (which was awful T-T), Luis as a character fascinates me, just as much as Valdelobos. Luis is in a sense, a relic. A person whom, until he left Valdelobos, was connected to centuries of deep culture that had not changed for hundreds of years. Valdelobos was a Catholic town at first, and they still recognize their Castllians as leaders over that of the modern world. Again, as a history geek, Valdelobos was probably pre Vatican II, in short, Luis can probably speak Latin as well. Luis, was not a normal Catholic. Luis' catholicism was very much like what we saw in Medieval times. And also, his form of Spanish.

In Spain, they do not speak the same dialect of Spanish as they do in other places in Latin America. Luis probably speaks Castillian Spanish, which is the European dialect of Spanish, that is not mixed with Indigenous languages or anything of the sort. Because that Spanish existed pre colonization of the Americas. But it gets even CRAZIER with Luis, because even the dialect of Spanish spoken in Spain today, would probably be much different from the dialect spoke in Valdelobos because they are isolated. They probably speak a less modern version of Spanish, probably still tied to the 1600rds.

Meaning that, aside from knowing English and Latin, Luis probably also knows various dialects of Spanish. He knows various dialects of Castillian spanish, he also has to LEARN how to speak Spanish when he got to the states so that people, who are of Latin American origin could understand him.

Luis is a relic, because he exists in various time periods. He exists in a town that is probably stuck somewhere between the 1500rds - 1700rds, yes like Tudor times! A town that was probably very much involved in European events and a town that has not grown past that. He exists in a town where an ancient dialect of Spanish was spoken , and where a very different form of Catholicism existed so that Luis learned Latin growing up because he had to so he could say his prayers. But he left ALL of that behind and modernized himself.

And he did it so well to the point where he easily passed for someone stuck in Valdelobos that doesn't belong there. He literally just looks like some guy when we meet him. When Leon sees him, you can't tell that this man is not really different from the cattle farmers who still speak in ancient languages, or who might not even know what a cell phone is, or who are hundred years behind. You don't know that Luis was at a point, disconnected like they were. He is literally just some guy. We don't even learn about how hard it was for him to adjust to this new life, but how he mastered it!!

A whole game, no a whole nOVEL could be made off of him.

anyway i refuse to believe he is dead lol. this man didn't survive cultural shock, being a relic, being exposed to new cultures, new ideas, etc., just to be killed by krauser lmaoooo

[moongreenlight]

Nanny!Reader x John Price hnnnnngh

Tw/Cw: Cheating, mentions of drug use and abuse.

@ceilidho put the words ‘marriage kink’ and ‘ambiguous gray blob wife’ into my head and it has been eating away at my psyche for DAYS.

The Maddie from Euphoria of it all, honestly.

Getting the job through a Craigslist ad because it pays better than some of the office jobs you’d been perusing and it comes with free housing and a car to use? It’s a no brainer.

The kids are alright. Spoiled, but not entirely obnoxious. They’re school-age, so you really only deal with them for breakfast and a few hours after school. Their mother is absent. Some sort of philanthropist who travels for work and prefers to jet-set instead of sitting home. Their father is lovely. Truly picture perfect.

He only brought you on because he couldn’t step away from work, and he wouldn’t hear of sending his children to some daycare. Too impersonal. He prefers to get to know the person raising his cubs. He’s sweet like that.

John doesn’t expect much of you. Decently tidy house. Well-tended kin. A pot of coffee in the morning before he’s off to work, and a hot supper if he’s home late.

Leaves you to your own devices while the kids are at school. What’s his is yours. At first, you mainly stuck to your quarters and the living room, but after so long, you got a little lax.

Started wandering the house. Awfully fucking big for a philanthropist and a military man with three kids, but you’re not one to speculate. You try out the hot tub. The jacuzzi bath in the primary en-suite bathroom. The home gym in the basement.

Even that gets boring after some time. Too routine. So you get adventurous. Get your paws on the mother's medicine cabinet. Take a cocktail of her nearly expired prescriptions and take a few hours to yourself in the bath.

You must have fallen asleep, because the snap of a door closing makes you jerk your head up off the cold rim of the tub.

"Hello?" You're trying to figure out who exactly would be home. Scrambling to yank the plug out of the drain with one hand and track down your phone with the other. Suddenly very worried you slept through school pickup.

But when your pruny fingers finally swatted at the screen hard enough, you were grateful to see you'd only really dozed off for twenty minutes or so. Still no response even though you were fairly certain you heard the door come from somewhere upstairs with you.

"Someone home?"

The drain was loud. A dead giveaway of your neglecting your job. Gargling as it sucked away the evidence of your lavender-scented bath. What's worse? You'd forgotten a towel. Mind fogged by some desperate housewives-adjacent combination of stimulants and muscle relaxers.

You nudged the bathroom door open with a dripping wet toe, poked your head out to see what was going on. Seeing nobody, you decided that maybe you were just hearing things. Just the house settling.

So you inched forward, cringing at the trail of wet footprints you were leaving on the carpet of John's bedroom floor. You made a mental note to tidy those somehow before you went to get the kids. It wasn't until you were out on the walk over the living room that you heard someone clearing their throat in the kitchen.

It made you whirl your head around, scrambling to cover your modesty as best you could. Maybe it was a contractor? John had a bad habit of not reminding you that his buddies were coming over to do some project or another.

"That how you dress when you've got the place to yourself?"

You wouldn't be so lucky.

"J-John?"

A chuff from just beyond the wall downstairs. Strategically positioning himself where he could see, but wouldn't be seen.

"I-I didn't know you'd be home. God- I'm so sorry."

You weren't sure if it was better to run to your room or stay where you were. This was uncharted waters, after all.

A tsk, like he was sucking his teeth to keep the smile from creeping into his voice.

"In my room?"

Your mouth is painfully dry. You can't even manage to swallow.

"I'm so sorry, John. So sorry."

"Why don't you dry off and then we'll chat?"

[beneathsilverstars]

OKAY... i think for dagger ending au i'm putting the game events in a very specific order.... siffrin finished kingquest before the friendquests because they were focusing on one quest at a time, because if they tried to look for too many things at once they wouldn't do a very good job looking for any of them? like wait i remembered to look for x in that room but i forgot to look for y, umm i think i have no idea which rooms i actually searched for what.

so he locked in on kingquest first, with loop hangout part way through it. and then he poked around for stuff to read in the forgotten language now that he could read it, but he didn't know enough about wishcraft to make sense of it. he did go into the locked star room, but didn't read the diary (bc he won't until after friend quests bc the stars make him sad). so he was pretty stuck on loop quest at that point, so he finally turned his focus to his friends: first mira, then bonnie, then odile — and happening upon the right papers to find that familytale took a whiile — and ofc finally isabeau.

then the perfect family run didn't work and they were devastateddd. what now!!?! they went through the house a couple more times with friend quests completed, got sick of those and switched to just skipping around the house checking this and that. finally they went all the way back to dormont again to talk to loop in person, and the two of them decided they should try checking the forgotten language books again. the ones they found didn't make much sense, but one of them was in the secret library right? maybe there's others hiding somewhere in there too? (<- said in the tone of someone who is checking the freezer for their phone because hey, why not try it now that we've exhausted everything that would make sense.) and that's why siffrin was planning to loop straight to floor 2 — they had a mission, and they were done doing everything in dormont, it doesn't help, it's just manipulating their family for their own benefit.

and that's where we get the au divergence!

so in that final run through the house, siffrin knew that the king had mentioned wish craft, but nothing else about it. they were taking their time and having the long versions of conversations and rereading everything (outside of dead-ends), which includes:

the craftonomy book - they discuss how the king is using time craft, which would normally kill someone

the newspapers - they discuss the king's origins and the stars on his armor

the sparkly diary - they discuss the forgotten island, and siffrin asks isabeau to try saying it

the letter - siffrin talks about running away from home, and trails off

and, now that siffrin has completed the friendquests and is checking every single little thing for the first time since then, he finally opens up the star room's diary and has his family read it for the first time! since they haven't read the forgotten language books about wish craft, isabeau and odile dismiss it as fiction. siffrin, though, feels like he understands wish craft better. and in this au, where he's been feeling very stuck but now suddenly desperately wants to stay in this version of the day in a deeper way than ever before, he starts to wonder if there's a way he could make a wish to get out, somehow. but he still has no idea how wish craft works.

and then he doesn't need to follow up on that, because that's the last loop!

also, here's the sus points they got, in addition to yknow the whole conceit of the au and the effects that would have on their behavior the next day.

When picking up the Circle Key, choose "What's up with the circles?" and then "The Universe."

Activate the switch in the Death Corridor.

Enter the right side hallway on the first floor proper with Siffrin 20 or more levels above the rest of the party.

Interact with the first tear in the right side hallway.

Interact with the dictionary in the locked Storage Room.

Bump into the counter in the Kitchen after already bumping into it five times in previous loops.

Interact with the cutlery closet in the Break Room in a loop without Odile's Friendquest completed.

In the right side hallway at the row of tears, choose either the Age Alliance or the Beauty Alliance.

When reading the Sparkly Diary in the Library, choose "But can you try and say it anyway?"

Choose "Wow, a secret passage~!" when opening the path to the Secret Library.

Interact with the book on shields on the very right bookshelf in the Secret Library.

Open the star-shaped door using Memory of Memories.

Interact with the orrery in the room behind the star-shaped door on the same loop as looking at the newspapers in the Writing Dorm on Floor 1. 

Interact with the hair-covered door before obtaining the KeyKnife.

notably this doesn't include any of the points you get by skipping conversations or events, interacting with equipment you already own, or reading the forgotten language books on wish craft. and without that last one, no sus event.

[yourmommygay]

Revenge is the sweetest.

Warnings: swearing, smut, degrading, praise.

Pairings: colby brock x OC, nate Hardy x OC and a made up sister of Mr brock.

"Come one Natalie we are gonna be late for the pizza night" my roommate yelled from the living room, don't get me wrong living with lily is amazing especially since our brothers are best friends but lily has guys over nearly ever night we are at home.

"I'm coming!" I shout as I put on the last few touches in my makeup just a simple look was what I was going for.

(Makeup hair and outfit)

I walked into the living room and saw lily shut off her phone extremely quick, "got a new boy toy?" I ask her jokingly. "Yeah but um can I ask you something before we leave?" Lily asks me, I nodded and she looked me dead in the eyes. "Would you be mad if I slept with nate?" She asked me biting on her lower lip.

I laughed thinking she was joking but I could tell she wasn't by the way she was biting her lips, "your joking right? You wouldn't sleep with my brother when you said brother we strictly off limits." I said looking at her desperately begging for her to laugh and tell me she was in fact joking.

But that wasn't what happened. "I'm so sorry I was drunk and I didn't know what was happening I was supposed to tell you before tonight, nates already asked colby. He asked him almost 2 months ago" she replied nervously, hold on 2 months ago?. "Lily don't tell me you sleep with nate 2 fucking months ago!?" I shouted getting angry. "Well since that night it's kind of become more, me and nate are together." She said looking ashamed.

I couldn't look at her anymore so I grabbed my phone and my keys and walked out, "Natalie!" I heard lily shout but I just kept walking till I got to my car, "Hey siri, call colby" I said putting my phone in the rack. Lily and nate thinks it's ok to sleep with each other behind my back I guess I'll just have to do the same.

"Hey you on the way?" Colby asks me after picking up the phone, "nate and lily had sex and now they are dating" I said, "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS, NATE? YOU THINK ITS OK TO FUCK MY LITTLE SISTER?!" I heard colby shout, "colby, how about we some fun in return?" I asked him making my voice more seductive.

All I heard was "fuck yes come and get here right now" then the call ended as I was driving to Sam and colbys house I saw my brother standing by the bus stop about to go home. I stuck my middle finger up and shouted, "lily's home alone if you want to go fuck her again" as I drove past I pulled into sam and colby driveway seeing sam walk out the door with his coat on and holding a bag. I assume he was staying at bryce's hours as they were going out drinking tonight.

I parked my car and walked in. "COLBY!" I shouted not knowing where about he was. "IN THE KITCHEN" I heard him yell back, I walked into the kitchen and saw him drinking white claw by the island so I went and hopped up on the island, "can I have some?" I asked pointing to the can. He nodded and came closer, instead of giving me the car he took a sip and pulled me into a kiss, letting the liquid slip into my mouth and run down my chin.

He pulled away and smirked at me, I smiled and pulled him back into me placing my lips back with his, he grabbed my thighs and pulled me closer, making me moan in the process. He pulled away and grabbed my hand leading me to his bedroom, we got in his room and he kissed me again slowly walking me back towards his bed, slowly laying me down too.

I pulled him onto me and he started to kiss my neck sucking and nibbling on some parts leaving obvious marks in his way, he pulled my shirt up over my head and threw it behind him somewhere, continuing his attack on my skin moving down from my next to my collar bones and then my boobs and then my cleavage, I sat up slightly and undid my bra pulling it off to free myself and to give myself to him.

He carried on going lower till he got to my stomach, "fuck baby, I would totally want a taste but right now I just need to be inside you" he said pulling my pants, fishnets and underwear off all at the same time, "so fuck me then colby, show me what your capable of" I moaned out watching him release his member from the confides of his jeans and boxers, he was longer then I thought with a beautiful natural curve and a bright pink tip that was leaking precum.

He payed down on top of me again and looked me in the eye "do you want me to go slow or just give it to you" he asked me waiting for my response. "Colby, the more aggressive you are with me the better" I replied as he pushed in making us both moan and groan at the beautiful stretch and tightness, "fuck your so tight" colby said before slowly pulling out and pushing back in building a pace and rhythm.

"Fuck colby just like that" I moaned trying to grab onto his hair. He grabbed both of my hands in one of his and pinned them above my head, "fuck, should've done this ages ago. You feel so ahh good on my dick" he grunted to me, I moaned in response. "Oh you like praise huh?" He asked I nodded and he pulling out flipping us so I was on top, "get yourself off on my cock like the good little slut you are" he said leaning back smirking.

I moaned and started bouncing, he leaned up and grabbed my boobs squeezing and rolling my buds around with his fingers, I moaned and sped up "fuck I'm close" colby moaned. Moving his hand down to rub my clit to get me to finish, I kept going ignoring the pain in my hips ans thighs and I pushed myself over the cliff coming with a scream of colby's name and that lead for him to cum too. I pulled off of him and layer down beside him, as I went to sit up to get dressed thinking this was it he stopped me with a hand on my arm.

"Stay" he said as he yawned I smiled and layed down again, he pulled me into him laying my head on his chest and pulling a leg over his hips. "I love you natalie" he said looking me straight in the eye. He loves me? "You don't mean that" I said hiding my head, "yes I do Natalie, I have loved you for months." Colby replied, "will you be my girlfriend please? We can keep it a secret for as long as you like" he said looking at me, I only nodded and smiled he kissed me then smiled at me "let's keep this from my brother for a while" I said biting my bottom lip. "Too late" colby said I was confused till I saw nate was on colbys phone this entire conversation, "look Natalie I love you, your my sister and I love colby I know he will treat you right" nate said. "Did you guys make up?" I asked they both nodded and I said "ok good but um we are gonna go cause we need to get dressed" I grabbed colbys phone and shut it off.

I turned to colby and kissed him again "round 2 boyfriend?" I asked, "round 2 girlfriend" he replied with a laugh and rolled us over so he was on top, let's just say the rest of the night was amazing.

Hope this was oki it's the first smut I've wrote in nearly 2 years I hope you liked it let me know what other ideas you would like me to do.

[nero-neptune]

any time i hear the term "white genocide", i remember doing this job in college, right, where we did political surveys over the phone. we had randomly generated phone numbers and a questionnaire to follow (and rules about what to do if they wanted to be removed from the call list, all that shit. easy on-campus money).

that year, we were collecting survey information for the 2018 gubernatorial election in georgia (so that's why i Knew how damn close the results were going to be. unrelated, but i despise brian kemp). and one day, i got a number belonging to some racist white fuck. i didn't start off the call knowing he was white, but he started getting into his little (!BIG!!) "white genocide" rant not even a full minute into the survey, so i. figured it out. anyway, while the man was fucking demented, he was only too happy to answer every single question in the survey (which i wanted, bc a lot of people hung up or quit halfway through or something. and the whole point of the job was to get Survey Results). but damn near every question he finished answering would somehow segway into a "and did you know what Those People (he didn't say that, it was Turbo racist) are doing to white people in south africa????". talking about how i Need to hear this for my own good. bc he thought i was white lol, bc i sound "white" over the phone. i even played up my "white voice" (imitated the thicker georgia accent my roommate had) so i could hear more of this deranged alex jones type shit (i stuck to the prompt questions, i didn't engage lol. just let it play out. he was essentially talking to himself after saying if he'd vote for abrams or kemp or metz, or if he approved or disapproved of trump). most entertainment i had all week. and at the end, as if he hadn't revealed himself to be some turner diaries freak, he mentioned he had nieces and nephews who were also studying at my university (terrifying!) and wished me luck on the rest of my studies that year (it sounded genuine? but he didn't even know i was black! the Whole Time!)

i brought up that story to a few of my friends and my mom afterwards, bc it was just Wild and So Crazy! hahalolol! at least it's a kooky fringe racist thing. but all these years later, this "white genocide" shit is becoming an actual conversation (seeing on tumblr, of all places), and not just the ravings of a redneck nutjob. "white genocide". well, i hope that white man's dead or dying somewhere.

[heresthestorymorningglory]

Under Your Spell - Part 2

Good morning my loves!

Part 2 is comin' in hot 🔥If you missed part 1 find it here

A/N: As I said initially, approach with caution; as per usual it’s an 18+ NSFW but on top of that this one has a stalker warning, some voyeurism and also got a tad violent. it’s not TOTALLY Dead Dove, Don’t Eat but it toes that line, so if that’s not for you, just don’t okay?

And of course, again I say,

I can’t post without giving credit where credit is due; this thing took on a life of it’s own and if it weren’t for @ken-dom and @travelerwashere it wouldn’t be what it is; I can’t thank you both enough for your constant support and inspiration (at all hours of the night) and keeping me from spiraling down the anxiety rabbit hole you both know I tend to lose myself in <3

Title credit goes to my fellow Goosecord compadre @webbo0, and he also gets credit for the "If you know me irl and you saw this...no you didn't (you know who you are xD)

Enjoy babes <3

Multiple times throughout the week he had freely let himself into your house, not to do anything malicious…he would never, just simply to sit on your bed and read your journal. 

Today was Saturday, and if you stuck to your usual routine, you would be out until well into the afternoon. He had found himself in a bit of a weird routine himself, he would find your journal which lately you had kept on your bedside table, and before taking off his boots (because sitting on your bed with them on was just rude) he would check behind your pillows where you had yet to discover the lacy pink…..they were gone.

He frowned, moving the pillows a little more…he was almost certain he’d-

“Is this what you’re looking for?” 

His blood froze instantly and he slowly straightened up, making no moves to turn around immediately. His mind raced with excuses, reasons he would be here, in your bedroom…he had none. 

Slowly, he turned around and there you stood, your face unreadable, one hand on your hip, the other holding those pink panties. 

He didn’t speak, he couldn’t….what could he possibly say? And yet, there you stood, silently, waiting, blocking his exit. 

After a few more excruciating seconds you raised an eyebrow “Well?” 

He opened his mouth to speak and couldn’t find the words, so he closed it again; you didn’t seem angry though….or scared. Just…indifferent. 

He licked his lips and tried again, looking from your face to the pink garment hanging off your index finger…they were clean, which meant you had washed them. 

When he still didn’t speak, you did; obviously tired of waiting for an explanation he didn’t have. 

“Do you make a habit of breaking into your neighbours houses?” you asked, the question obviously being rhetorical as you continued “Going through drawers, and journals….”

His brow creased as he listened to your words…how had you known…

You pulled your phone out of your pocket, navigating somewhere before turning the screen towards him. 

“But my personal favourite,” you continued, as he watched himself on your tiny screen, back on that first day 

“I…” he had started, not really sure what to say next; you had cameras, there was no denying it, no making up excuses, you’d had cold hard evidence in the palm of your hand; he was busted. 

You walked deeper into the room, setting your phone on the dresser as you spoke. He was rooted to the spot, even if he had wanted to, he couldn’t move. 

“Does it turn you on?” you asked softly, pink panties now swinging from your still extended index finger as you walked, like a lioness, stalking her prey  “Watching me?” 

He wasn’t sure what to say, so instead of incriminating himself further, he kept quiet; his heart slamming against his ribcage. 

“And you read my journal…” you continued, in that soft even tone, that only slightly put him on edge “Which means you read what I wrote….about you” 

His nose scrunched slightly in confusion briefly as he listened to you, your journal still in his hands. 

You had stopped walking, now standing a few feet in front of him before you tossed the panties at him; instinctively he caught them against his stomach; eyes locking with yours. 

You looked him up and down and he watched you curiously. Were you….flirting?

“Do it again” 

He cocked his head slightly with a frown; hand unintentionally closing tightly around the underwear still in his hand. “What?” 

“You heard me” your voice was still low, even and unbothered “Do it again” you repeated, reaching out and taking your journal from his hand, tossing it on your bed. “Come on,” you taunted, “Or would you rather watch from under my bed?” 

He stood face to face with you in this standoff; you were unreadable, was this punishment? Or were you more like him than he had realized?

“I want to watch you jerk off into my panties” you whispered, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. 

You were flirting. 

Almost instantaneously, his body felt like it had been set on fire; his cock rock hard and straining against his jeans. He unbuttoned his jeans, very aware that your eyes were watching him, and had before…

"Take your gloves off; I want you to feel them" you smiled up at him from under your lashes. 

He chewed the inside of his cheek but did as you asked, pulling them off and putting them in your outstretched hand, his fingers brushing your palm sending shockwaves through his overheated form. 

You ran your tongue between your lips, your fingers toying with the worn leather. 

"I'm waiting" you whispered and he watched as you took the gloves dragging the leather fingertips down your chest and between your cleavage. 

His eyes slipped closed as he wrapped his fingers around his shaft enveloped in that familiar silky fabric. 

"Look at me" 

He moaned, and opened them, you had moved closer, mere inches between you now. 

His breathing had gotten heavier, his knees threatening to give out. 

He gasped audibly when your hand closed around his; slender and warm, stroking slowly. You pressed against him and he shuddered. 

Your breath was hot against his neck. 

"I watch you too" you whispered and he squeezed his eyes shut, a deep guttural moan as he spilled over his hand and yours. 

You moaned into his neck, smiling against his skin, as you kissed his jaw dropping the newly soiled underwear at your feet. Your now bare hand, closing around his cock with no barrier between the two. He moaned as you stroked, he could feel himself growing hard against your palm. 

"I-I can't…" he breathed 

"Can't or won't?" You asked, squeezing gently and he moaned loud "This is what you wanted, isn't it?" 

You pulled back, and the pout on your lips made him want to bite them. Hard. 

"Or do you just like watching me?" You pressed against him "Get naked?" 

There was a silence that hung in the air before you spoke again. "I want you" you moaned and he broke. 

He slammed you up against the wall, his teeth sinking into your bottom lip before he sucked on it and you moaned against his lips. Your hands tugged hard on his jeans before yanking his jacket off. 

His hands pulled just as frantically at your clothes, still not convinced this wasn't a dream. He yanked your t-shirt over your head, both hands cupping your breasts over your bra, burying his nose into your cleavage, teeth sinking into the meaty flesh. You threw your head back moaning to the ceiling, pushing your chest out, fingers twisting in his golden locks, pulling hard. 

He sank to his knees in front of you, you had released your hold in his hair, eyes meeting his as he looked up at you from the floor, hands hovering over your hips; you pulled on your bottom lip with your thumb and index finger with a nod. “Do it” you nodded breathlessly and he throbbed painfully between his own legs. 

Fingers curling around the waist of your jeans, pulling them down with your panties in one swift motion. 

Chest heaving as you kicked them off, his bare hands sliding up your warm naked thighs. He leaned forward, nose pressed against your core; you moaned over him, and he felt your hands find his shoulders to steady yourself on the wall. He licked a hot stripe up your centre and your knees instantly buckled as you thrust your hips forward with a loud cry; He squeezed your hips harder, with a shove, pinning them against the wall with more force before he continued his assault on your most sensitive parts, you were absolutely soaked. He moaned into your folds and this time when your knees buckled he let them, arms hooking under your knees and around the backs of your thighs,your legs over either one of his shoulders, his hands pressing against the small of your back, forcing your core to be flush with his mouth. His boot slid against the polished floor trying to find its grip as he tipped you gently, distributing your weight, you braced yourself against the wall, giving him the leverage he needed to get to his feet; you leaned forward as he pulled you away from the wall just long enough before he dropped you on your back on your bed, hearing you gasp as the air rushed from your lungs. 

“God, please” you breathed as he knelt on the bed, head dipping between your now bent knees, placing soft kisses on the inside of your thighs, before his mouth enveloped your entire dripping core, fucking you with his tongue. 

Then you started to whimper and it was like music to his ears, heels in a fetal attempt at digging into your soft mattress, as you fisted the sheets underneath you, begging for it not to stop; for him not to stop. 

Your hips thrusting forward as your body started to shake, he reached up with his hands keeping your hips steady and your hands covered his, your nails biting into the backs as you arched your back, voice straining with effort as you came unraveled in his hands, 

He pulled back breathing hard himself, his head dropped, still between your bent knees, the taste of you on his lips as you swallowed hard, catching your breath. You pawed for him, your mouth claiming his in a breathless needy kiss, pulling him on top of you, your face pink and flushed. 

You pulled away first, breathing hard against his mouth as you spoke “More, I want more” 

He dropped his head and you pushed a hand through his hair, kissing his face and neck, any part of him you could reach from underneath him it seemed. 

“Tell me” His voice was thick with arousal with every intention to draw this out as long as he could. Even if it meant edging himself beyond a point of pleasure. 

“I want you to be rough with me” 

He sat back slightly, not sure he had heard you properly “What?” 

“I want you to be rough with me” you repeated, looking up at him “Bite me, slap me,” you paused for a beat “Choke me…Fuck me” 

He moved to kiss you and you pressed a flat palm to his chest, shaking your head sitting up, forcing him to shift backwards. 

“Not tonight” you sat up climbing off your bed, grabbing a silk robe and wrapping it around yourself. 

He tried to make the words he was hearing make sense; he stood up ignoring the painful throb between his thighs, your soft laugh caught his attention. He turned to look at you as you held your robe closed as you chewed on your lip. “You should take care of that,” you smiled biting a fingernail with a jerk of your chin “It looks painful” 

He couldn’t help chuckling then; that’s the kind of game you wanted to play; he didn’t say anything, just ran his tongue between his lips watching as you turned on your heel in the doorway “You found your way in, you can find your way out” and then you winked at him before disappearing; the bathroom door closing across the hall. 

[ivanttakethis]

Before Round 27 - Tov’s Log

Jae (?) vs. Lang (?) -> ??? Win

————————————————————

Tov awoke the next morning to the phone ringing.

Nyx was gone, just as he said.

The only evidence of his presence left behind was rumpled sheets and a radio communicator so they could stay in contact.

They still had a lot to talk about.

All of the secrets Nyx spilled were still whirling around in her head.

“Vera is still alive.”

Good. Great. One less dead classmate.

“I never told you that I saw Aurien get taken away by Solei.”

They were even on that. Tov never told Nyx that she knew Solei was the one who rescued Aurien.

But that was before Round 7. Before she thought Tallis had died right in front of her eyes and lost her mind.

At least Tov returned the favor and spilled the secret about him too.

Now two people knew Tallis was out there somewhere.

Though what stuck in her mind the most, what left her with far more questions was—

“I never told you about my children.”

The thought of Nyx having just one child was enough to make Tov’s head spin. But he said children. Multiple.

He was so young. When the fuck did he have time to have multiple children?

Who were they? How long ago did he have them? Does he know their names? Are they still in contact? Where are they now? Please tell me they’re not in Anakt Garden—

The phone rang again.

Tov’s plot to tear that bastard Guardian Oryon’s wings off with her bare hands would have to wait for now.

She sat up in her bed and fumbled blindly for the answer button, hitting it with more force than necessary.

Wren started talking before she could greet her. “Hey! Where have you been? I’ve called you like three times already.”

“Late start.” She said around a yawn.

“Ah, so you haven’t read the news yet.”

Tov frowned, “What news?”

“Don’t worry about it. Just a bunch of gossip rags spewing bullshit about Round 26.” The distain in Wren’s voice was palpable. “‘Has the star of Season 39 fizzled out? Tov’s stellar fall from grace!’ Gag me.”

Ouch.

“That bad, huh?”

“It’s not bad, it’s tacky. They’re acting like you bombed on stage.” She said. “Akane was tough competition. Neither of you were going to win by a landslide. I don’t know why people are losing their fucking minds about it.”

Wren sounded pissed off enough for the both of them. Tov found herself smiling.

“Hey, I’m the one who almost died.”

“Yeah, but you didn't.” Wren said after a moment. “You beat death.”

“I just got lucky.”

“Then I guess that means my good luck charm worked.”

Oh, that’s right.

The new weight on Tov’s right ring finger came to the front of her mind.

She raised her hand up toward the window, letting the silver band catch the sunlight pouring in.

“Maybe...” Tov hummed softly, running her thumb over the sun and moon engraving.

“Something about your voice sounds different today,” Wren said. “You’re a lot more upbeat than I’d expect someone in your position to be.”

Is it really that obvious?

There was no way Tov was going to tell Wren anything about what happened last night.

She shook her head, “I think you're just hearing things.”

Wren laughs, “You're a terrible liar.”

“I'm a great liar.” Tov countered, affronted.

“Then l'm great at figuring out whether you're lying or not.”

“I don’t like the connotations of that.” She said flatly.

“You’re overthinking it.” Wren matched her tone.

Tov made a noncommittal noise, scrubbing the sleep from her eyes with her palms.

“I won't push you on where this new spark came from, as long as you put it to good use.”

“Put it to good use how?”

“For your next round!” She said. “You need a song that plays to your vocal strengths and uses that new spark you have. It should be something powerful, something that shows the audience that you’re still here and you’re still going to come out on top.”

“I still have to become the Sun.” Tov echoed.

“Exactly. It isn’t over yet.” Wren said. “You have a season to win, remember?”

————————————————————

This is a follow up to @imperfectnothing’s post of Tov and Nyx’s reunion after Round 26! Plus some sisterly bickering bonding!

Getting to see Nyx and being able to confirm that he’s okay has helped lift Tov’s spirits (even if she does want to put his owner in the dirt over what she’s learned).

She also has major survivor’s remorse over what happened with Akane, but Nyx and Wren’s encouragement makes her want to keep going. The power of siblings!!

While Nyx mentioned Solei to Tov, she still doesn’t know Solei is part bird 😅

[kylejsugarman]

Hiya Syd :) soooo when Jesse starts acting as a parent to Baby does his love for her ever manifest as a new understanding and horrible guilt over what he put his parents through? Does he lay awake at night thinking about how he would feel if he didn’t know if Baby was dead or alive? Does he want to call them so badly even if he doesn’t especially want to talk to them, just to put their minds at ease?

don't ":)" me before putting this in my inbox, u little demon. before i beat u with clubs and sticks, i have to say that the answer to all of these questions is "yes". because at first, jesse is so intensely focused on protecting his new identity and not arousing anyone's suspicion that it's easy some days to like completely displace himself from his roots. he has flashbacks and thinks A Lot about the more recent events of his "old" life, but it's easy for the earlier stuff to trickle out as he cuts ties and almost forget that like. he was a son. fuck, technically he IS a son, but james driscoll basically appeared out of thin air and that's who he is now, right??

but it seeps back in, slowly and painfully—the knowledge that even though he got to start over, his parents didn't. they have to keep living his old life for him. he loses track of baby in a store and even though he finds her just a few minutes later, that desperate, lightheaded panic keeps him up all night not just because it was so deeply and viscerally terrifying but because it wasn't her fault. she hadn't defied him or anything; they just got temporarily separated. but he had done it on purpose. as early as middle school. not coming home, not calling. then he started using and it became harder to come home because of the arguments and the yelling and sure, he didn't feel great then about getting high and leaving home, but he never thought about how it must've felt for his parents. he always just assumed they were glad that he was gone for a while. did his mom feel this way?? this awful panic like his heart was falling down an elevator shaft?? did she see news stories while he was unreachable about gang shootings and car crashes and think he was dead?? do his parents now look at his closed bedroom door and believe—with awful certainty—that he's dead and buried somewhere in the mexican desert??

not knowing then, but knowing now is just so exquisitely painful because in another life, jesse would have been able to come to this realization and talk to his parents about it. sure, it might've been awkward or painful, but it would have been Good and now he can't. he's stuck with this horrible guilt and there's nobody in the entire world he can share it with. he could call them (for all of the memories that've been beaten out of his head, his home phone number is still carved out clearly like the sketches he engraved into his high school chem desktop) and say Something, maybe even pretend to be someone else and give a vague "ur son is okay". but his situation is so precarious. what he has now is so precious, so impossibly rare. he sometimes childishly hopes that his parents just sort of Know that he's safe through some sort of parental intuition, but he understands now from experience that u can never really Know for certain. they'll never Know. and that's the worst part of all. because he got the relief of seeing a lost but unharmed baby at the end of the detergent aisle and rushing over to grab her, but his parents will never get that and he can never give it to them.

[naeemajusthasthoughts]

There is only me

“I want to write you a poem.”

There it was. Stuck in the middle of us. The happiness is just a moment and then your hand slides down to your side. I was hungry, I remember saying but you only stared. I wish I knew what you were thinking then but now I can only guess. That empty space seemed like the only place I found you in. I wanted to join you but your hands were too cold. There was nothing more to bring you in but the willingness to let go of my heart.

“Is that so?”

Can we begin again? Is that a valid question or do I need to explain myself once again? I could almost feel the heat of your body but still couldn't find the opportunity for myself to fall into it. I wished you pulled me into your hold. I would have forgiven every incident in the past. My mind would have made up excuses and I would have followed you to the end. There was nothing I wouldn’t have done just to feel close to you but still you were too far from me. Even as you stood in front of me.

“If Daniel says no, I would leave this place alone.”

There was no going back. I cannot unsee what I saw. There is only an empty house and the warmth has left you. It was so dull that my mind seemed to start to make believe. I needed to know how you felt that time but all I got was nothing but a house with no lights on. The dust settled as I walked in and the emptiness seemed like a new friend. Am I going crazy? Or am I just experiencing your emptiness for the first time?

“There is nothing that's keeping you here.”

You are the only man I ever wanted. There was no one before you and I doubt I want anyone after you. I didn't know I was not living until I met you. You opened my eyes to a whole new world. I was nothing, a speck of dust then you breathed life into me. Now I feel like I am drowning, packing your clothes in the laundry. If begging was an option would you hear me? Tell me how to live now without you with me? If I need to go on my knees would it show my sincerity?

“If I wait? Would you like to hear it?”

“It’s over…”

Fall in the depth of water. It is the only way I can feel like I am at home. The heat of my tears doesn't bother me, doesn't remind me of the heat you emitted with every hug you gave me. That crazy sound of your laugh doesn't comfort me anymore. Why am I alone? Let me hold the flowers and be perfect. Show the world that somehow I know how to be on my own. My crooked smile and the dead look of the eyes is nothing compared to what is going on in the mind. Is it really how it is supposed to be? A little weed pulled out and left to the wind.

“If I say no, would you listen to me?”

“Came back… don't you see…”

Peach blossoms are my favourite. A trip we planned left on the table unopened. The smell of that perfume you bought brings too many hurtful memories that get in the way. The touch of your cold hand doesn't hold mine like it used to. There is no company in the world that can replace you. This body has too many burdens to bear as I pack the last of your clothes in a bag that's going somewhere, nowhere that I can see. Is it alright if I keep this last t-shirt you wore? it still smells like you. It will be my last reminder of you.

“Goodbye I guess…?”

Words left unsaid. Heart burning. Nothing lurking. Flowers falling. That tree looks like it had enough. Reminds me of the last summer of you and me. Bring me peace and say it was all a joke. Lurking about in the garden. No herbs can heal this type of pain but still I am searching. Forgetting feels like a never ending hole. Is this what it feels like? Is this what it looks like? A deep abyss or is it a blackhole? My empty chest is quiet and the pain is numbing. This home is too suffocating.

“I am truly sorry. It wasn't supposed to be like this.”

“I know…”

One sentence. Eleven words. Fifty one characters. I don't think I saw it but it's too late now. Is this what it is supposed to be? Me staring in and my heart is missing. The police laughed when I phoned them but they didn't know. It was the last part of me to go. I think I heard the phone but it was deafening. The last light was the desperate plea of my brain holding me till you barged through the door. It was the last hope but you were not there. Just a reminder of how alone this life has become. Nothing but the numbing of once upon a time in love.

“It is okay. I am fine now. Go home.”

The conversation was officially done. The number disconnected to some. The trip is the last part that is shredded to parts. No goodbyes is ever as heart-warming as the goodbye of the person you love.

[anachronistic-falsehood]

SHIP BINGO FOR THE GUYS U WANNA TALK ABOUT. CELLTW I THINK . gimme the cannibalism rundown king

MAC. looking u dead in the eyes. getting into celltw has almost convinced me to start watching hannibal i guess i just really like gay cannibalism and i need more of it. ANYWAY listen listen listennnn. ok. qcellbit and qpac are my little fucking guys alright. my favourite boys. i'm gonna give you their whole fucking backstory here ok. ok. infodump time. i apologize in advance

so cellbit was a child soldier who didn't even have a NAME. resorted to cannibalism to survive. badboyhalo was there. both stuck in a war. killed thousands of people. AWFUL TIMES!!! goes from child soldier to domestic terrorist somehow. he gets arrested and thrown in FUCKING ALCATRAZ. HE'S STILL A CANNIBAL. somehow manages to sneak a cell phone in and uses it to threaten prisoners and people start calling him cell because he literally didn't have a name before. right. ENTER PAC E MIKE. they're robbers for a living. the sillies <3 they robbed a top security museum and got caught and thrown in alcatraz. cell has gone bonkers and fucking yonkers. weird habit of licking his lips. i'm in love with him. protects pac e mike from other prisoners. they are wary of him (understandable). pac e mike make a friend named jv who tries to help them escape. cell kills him right in front of them and tries to escape himself. gets thrown in solitary. pac e mike go to the solitary cells just to mock him. lots of lowkey gay tension in that scene???? eventually pac e mike escape with the help of another friend but cell tags along because he threatens them with a gun he got from a security guard he killed. THIS MAN IS UNHINGED!!!

they end up on a deserted island. the boat they used to sail there needs repairs and four people can't fit on it at all anymore. cell decides one of them needs to die and tells the others they can decide which one has to be killed. cell is the only one who manages to find food on the island, which happens to be apples. he hoards it from the others and I SHIT YOU NOT THERE IS SOME WEIRD FUCKING RELIGIOUS IMAGERY GOING ON HERE. OK. pac seeks out cell, and CELL, WHO IS SITTING IN A TREE, OFFERS PAC AN APPLE IF HE KILLS ONE OF THE OTHERS. PAC SAYS HE'LL THINK ABOUT IT AND CELL GIVES HIM AN APPLE. I'M GOING TO EAT DRYWALL. I DON'T KNOW IF THEY DID THAT ON PURPOSE BUT THEY SURE FUCKIN DID IT ALRIGHT. at some point cell eats pac's leg but we have no idea when that canonically happens bc it was only canonized in qsmp and wasn't shown in Fuga Impossível where he and mike met cell, but IT'S STILL FUCKING CANON AND I LIKE TO THINK IT HAPPENED SOMEWHERE ON THAT FUCKING ISLAND. ALRIGHT. IT COULD HAVE HAPPENED IN PRISON BUT IT HAPPENING ON THE ISLAND JUST MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE 2 ME.

they trick cell and trap him, telling him to use the last bullet in his gun for himself. the three of them leave the island and hear a single gunshot. they think he's dead. SIKE!!! somehow years and years later, pac, mike, and cell, plus two others are all on the same ship together and end up on a new island. cell now goes by cellbit??? and really likes mysteries and is a pretty chill person in comparison to how he used to be??? he went through copious amounts of therapy and is actually somewhat well adjusted. he's a pretty cool guy.

he's changed. mike has changed. pac has changed. they're all so different. he and cellbit get stuck in a cave and they kiss. it's weird. they don't do it again after that. cellbit starts talking to another guy, roier. they get married. pac is disappointed but he doesn't talk about it too much. why is he disappointed? he doesn't really know. pac has changed but every time he looks at cellbit he's back in that prison. one day, everyone's furniture goes missing, including cellbit's. pac's first instinct is to grab his son by the shoulders and tell him to pack his things because when cellbit sees that someone has robbed him he will go on a rampage the likes of which no one has ever seen. that doesn't happen. cellbit snaps and demands public execution of the culprit so they can drink his blood. he's holding a knife. he's easily placated and puts the knife away. cell is clearly somewhere in there. this is the first glimpse pac has gotten of him in the five months they've been here. pac licks his lips the same way cell used to. it's a habit.

their son goes missing. the president is put on drugs by the federation. pac has lost everything. he takes the fed's medication so he can try finding a cure. he sits in cellbit's castle panicking for a solid five minutes, debating with himself over whether he should leave some of the medication for cellbit to find in hopes he can help them. he tries to find a cure on his own while still hopped up on pills. there's blood on the floor. he leaves notes for his loved ones. he knows cellbit well enough to know he will come looking and find this. the thought is as terrifying as it is relieving. cellbit develops a cure with pac's notes. cellbit yells at the president, the fellow father of their son. pac only hears cell. he takes the antidote he helped develop. cellbit guides him home and tells him he's not alone anymore and never will be again. they hug. it's terrifying. it's comforting. it's weird.

cellbit clearly left that prison behind. pac never has. he probably never will.

[sburbian-sage]

Hey there sorry for the anonymous ask but I've found myself in a strange predicament

Upon reading the glitch FAQ I came across the space chapter and I believe I figured out something that happened to me?

Im a god tier knight of hope currently (second run, the first i was ironically also a knight of hope) but my space player (lord of space) happened to go berserk over the death of a adopted consort, and having not read the guide at the time, and being good friends with them, i attempted to comfort them with a hug

Upon doing so I experienced a significant amount of lag (I didn't even know this game could lag) and found myself hurtling through deep space

Considering the appearance of the stars in the distance I do believe I am experiencing sburbs equivalent of a floating point error? (At least that's the best I could come up with)

I can't reach anybody back in my session and I've been out here for just... An absurdly long time, although the clock on my phone is permanently set to 00:00 and the calendar function has seemingly stopped working all together so I can't say exactly how long I've been out here (not totally sure what's causing this considering it wasn't an issue back in the session)

I do know I am still moving at a decent click because I've flown past a handful of what seems to be low res flat images of stars (perhaps sburb doesn't render this far out?)

I don't know if I completely skipped over the furthest ring or what but as far as I can tell I'm not corrupted in any way and ive yet to encounter any others

Although none of my abilities seem to work out here

I'm also not sure how I'm getting signal this far out

Any advice?

Oh, you must have gotten [Space Prankster]'d. Get pranked lmao This is a bit concerning. I don't imagine you've actually left the Medium. Once you leave the Medium it's just the Furthest Ring, and I don't imagine you got teleported far enough to exist outside of that either. Space abilities follow at least some law of reality, even if they're tweaking it with a wrench and some attitude.

By the way, the "stars" you see in a session are just the Other's eyes. So I hope you are not actually in the Furthest Ring, or that those "stars" are just optical illusions from moving at insane speeds.

If you have a signal, I would recommend hitting up your Space player and asking where the hell you are, and how to get back. My current theory is "circling the drain around the Medium at light speed", in which case another Space ability should be able to get you back. The bad news is that even if teleporting saves you, you seem to be going fast and your Space player might need to do some finagling to extract you safely. The good news is that if you do die, you're probably going fast enough that you won't even know what happened. If God Tiered, this is too pathetic to count as Just or Heroic. If not God Tiered, your existence as a pile of gore should remove the instinctual revulsion of kissing a dead friend or stranger on the lips.

The other alternative I can think of since you mentioned stars is that you're somehow stuck in the animation for Space Prankster. That makes the Space player look like stars, which means you might be inside your friend. 1) Sus 2) Teleportation is 50/50 here. It could finish the teleportation and get you somewhere. It could function like a Broken Gate and put you anywhere in the session (including inside a solid). If you have access to the Hope ability [Dreams Never Die], that should cancel out the effect. With unpredictable results. Look, I don't really have any reassuring words here, you're getting smeared against a wall at some point, just collaborate with your players so they know which wall and will smooch it up as fast as possible.

[hislittleraincloud]

DirecTor: *sweat-drenched and sore, tries to sneak in as quietly as he can*

AB Wednesday: *turns on the light with a click*

DirecTor: *jumps* Heeey. There. Kiddo. How goes it?

ABW: Hey there, author. It goes quite fine. *takes out her phone, taps the screen, turns it to me* But care to explain to me what I'm seeing here?

DirecTor: *squints* That's uh...that's the Lords of Acid.

ABW: ...I know. I'm asking about the scene behind Gigi. *taps her little black-nailed fingertip on the screen over my disabled Weeble ass gesturing to the crowd to show me their pussies*

DirecTor: Well uh...see...uh — I was...there.

ABW: ...I know. But how did that happen?

DirecTor: *swallows* Well. I was seated sort of off to the side near the stage entrance and when Gigi called for people to come up on stage for 'Pussy (Round)', the dancer pointed to me. Probably because of my shirt.

ABW: *purses lips, and I can't tell if it's out of anger or irritance* Well, it is an attention-grabber.

DirecTor: Yeah, tell me about it. I got a lot of grins and comments on the way to the venue and then at the venue. I'm on a shitload of peoples' clouds. How'd you get that video anyway?

ABW: *clicks it off after she sees Praga Khan giving me a hug at the end of the song* I have my sources.

DirecTor: ...

ABW: ...

DirecTor: It was Fester, wasn't it.

ABW: ...Perhaps.

✨👹🔥🫠🔥👹✨

So...somewhere in this world more than a few people have pics and video of my thicc ass embarrassing myself behind Gigi Ricci (the current vocalist for the Lords). Face reveal!:

This is actually a screencap from a video I took of myself listening to the White Girl Drama next to me before the shows started. I wanted to stick an icepick into my brain to escape her blathering. She was with her friend and they were both dressed as Coop Voodoo U devil women, full-on red body paint and all. But because of their drama, they left before the Lords even got to 'Voodoo U' (and it was on the set list). Like...the yappy one had fallen asleep at her table at one point and her friend looked a little concerned. I asked her if she was okay and she said yes, but...she didn't look ok 😬

I'm so tired. I'm too old for this shit, but it was worth it because it seems that every time I go out and do something like this, people gravitate towards me. I got to shake Praga Khan's hand (he turned to me before the song and shook my hand after I climbed the short stairs w my cane...I was shocked to have even been invited onto the stage by his dancer ETA: WIFE, I learned it was Inja, Praga Khan's wife 💀), and then he hugged me after the song was done. He's so little and frail 😳 But very sweet. I haven't let anyone touch me bc of COVID, but he was the exception. The man is a legend, and the Lords still have it.

Gigi was topless! She didn't have any X tape taped over her nips tonight, unlike during the Philly show (the vids I posted).

I did have to leave a little early (they weren't done yet) because I wanted to beat the crowd to BART and I didn't want to get stranded late in the damn Tenderloin. I made a friend...of course he is a cultured, older European (Dutch, LOL). He was sitting alone before everything started and looked a little lost (his friends didn't show up). He too needed to leave early bc he lives in San Jose and also had to catch BART back. We chatted quite a bit and stuck together during the show.

Anyway. I guess time will tell re: if I get sick. I shouldn't, bc I don't think my gear slipped and the venue was not packed...it was a comfortable half-packed hall, so people could actually socially distance themselves, or dance and move around. The crowd was pretty geriatric (like me), but there were quite a few younger Millennials there too. I really should have a headache from all the headbanging, but I don't (and interestingly enough, my voice isn't hoarse either, despite loads of screaming). My feet and legs are dead tho. I'll probably be bedridden for a couple of days.

ETA: The dogs were all asleep when I got back, and my old boy was fine. I love it when they're well behaved. Someone was trying to get their dog into the venue (when I arrived at the hall, there was a short line of people waiting to get in). I don't know if they succeeded, but I didn't see the dog in there, so. It was a small, white fluffy dog with a 'service dog' leash on it. Even if it was a real service dog (and I don't think it was), why would you bring the poor thing to a freaking Lords of Acid concert? It's not a goddamn orchestal symphony. The Lords are LOUD. I kept thinking how horrible it would be for my baby had I brought her. Too loud! She's used to loud Lords of Acid since I sometimes play the Afterburn soundtracks when we go out in her little front pack, but not THAT loud. Damn, people. That's just cruel.