#got some stuff in the queue thats gonna be posting once a day for about a week :b

[festidae]

long time no post! gonna try to post semi-chronologically, starting with older stuff. this is a lithograph print of some hummingbird moths, specifically hemaris thysbe if i remember correctly, with some of the plants they eat (mainly snowberries)!

[mettywiththenotes]

I got tagged by @haleigh-sloth! 😊

Why did you choose your URL?

Metty is a part of my name and whenever I get into a new series, whatever it may be, I usually type down my thoughts in the notes app on my phone. I’ve done this for years and it was what I used before I got a tumblr account. I even still use it! Not to the same extent I did before, but I still do it to organize my thoughts

I only realized after I made this account that it kind of sounds like I’m bragging or smthg lmao. But thats not the case, no. I just type things down in my notes app a lot

Any side blogs?

Nope

How long have you been on tumblr?

Hoo boy this is kind of an unspecific question. Okay so I got an account 4 months ago. However, I’ve stalked tumblr since I was 11 or 12. So I didn’t have an account back then but I have been going on tumblr most of my life. Of course now that I look back on it, it isn’t the same thing as actually having a blog on here, cuz I never interacted with anybody or even any posts, but idk I’d say it still counts. Kind of? A little bit? Technically? Idk lol

Do you have a queue tag?

Nope

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

This is actually kind of funny. As I’ve just said, I’ve been stalking tumblr for a long time, and I’ve been a fan of BNHA ever since chapter 150 (cuz thats what the latest chapter was at the time I caught up), so naturally, I stalked the BNHA fandom out of curiosity to see what people thought of it. So I’ve seen a lot of varying opinions on the series

It was literally on the same day BNHA chapter 317 came out, and I decided to actually make an account because there were so many bad takes on that chapter that I just decided to make a blog and put down my own thoughts

I can’t even remember what those bad takes were lol (it was probably just fans complaining that the series is going downhill and jumping to conclusions just because of what happened in that specific chapter. as usual). But I was frustrated enough to sign up, thats for sure

ANOTHER REASON why I joined is because, throughout the years I’ve been stalking the BNHA fandom, not once did I see any posts about Izuku and Shigaraki and the potential of their relationship. I’m aware now that there were probably some hidden blogs I hadn’t come across that maybe did talk about them, but if there were, I didn’t see it in the main tags and thats what annoyed me

Hate to brag, but I was thinking about The Boys since all the way back with Overhaul. And going through the tags was so lacking sometimes when nobody was talking about them. So you can imagine my reaction when that MVA chapter where Shiggy said “What I wanted you to say was...” happened and the fandom went NUTS over it. I was really happy to see people finally talking about them. And then that kind of died down, and I wasn’t really seeing anybody speculating about their relationship. Even when War Arc came around, I thought people would talk about their interactions more (NOT in a negative “Izuku is gonna have to kill Shiggy” way, but in a positive way), but that didn’t happen until chapter 295

So yeah. Thats another reason why I joined, and it’s kinda connected to the first reason. I wanna talk about The Boys. I wanna fill the bnha tags with posts about these two. Be the change you wanna see in the fandom ig lol

Oh, and also talk about the stuff that interests me. Obviously. But the actual reasons for joining are just spite

Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

That sketch of Shiggy and Izuku is the only one we have of them being goofy, and I’ve always wanted Hori to do a sketch of them being silly. So its like nailing proof of their interactions to a front-and-center wall so everyone can see it

Why did you choose your header?

I couldn’t think of any other header to have. I wanted one that looked nice, so I picked the background for Nine and Shiggy’s flower island scene

What’s your post with the most notes?

The Shouto joke post with the record scratch freeze frame lol

How many mutuals do you have?

6 mutuals

How many followers do you have?

182 followers

How many people do you follow?

24 people

How often do you use tumblr each day?

Oof. Quite an embarrassing amount. I try to keep off it during leak nights though, so I skip one day out of the week, if I can resist lol

Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Nope

How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Ahh. Well, if its posts about info that could potentially help somebody, I do reblog them after doing a bit of my own research. They could help people or they couldn’t but if there’s a chance that they could, and I agree with what it says, then I reblog

If its those posts that are like “you need to reblog this or else your dog will die” or smthg, then no I don’t like them and I scroll past them

Do you like tag games?

Yes!

Do you like ask games?

Yes!!

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Ahh... haleigh-sloth honestly. The reason I think that is cuz every time she reblogs one of my posts it always gets loads of notes lol

Do you have a crush on a mutual?

What is this, the bachelor? Who should I give my rose to🌹👀 lmao nah I don’t

Tagging: @frappyflop, @zinatina, @villainsandvictimsalliance, @lastsunlight

njksdnsfd sorry for that one long answer btw. I have a whole Origin Story apparently lmao

[indig0tea]

Final 2020 Update: 2021 Goals!!

Cross posting from my devART

Also links to all my alts and shit will be at the end of the post if you need them!

So some of these may be unrealistic due to my struggles with ADHD/Depression Combo but. I wanted to get these down somewhere so you guys can see them and be aware..

Please note, my executive functioning abilities are absolutely Butchered on the regular by my ADHD alone, and the various stressors of 2020 have absolutely taken anything else I might have had in that department and tossed it out the window.

Something something something, financial stressors outside of my control sends me into shut down mode and I can't do anything productive or even fun until it's handled, but because I'm not doing anything productive, I'm not making any money, and the stressors gets worse and worse and it just ends up in a horrible cycle where I constantly want to die because I'm not able to create anything to relieve the stress! Which is why you've all seen... pretty much a standstill on my productivity save one or two pieces a month if I'm lucky

That said, I'm going to start trying (hopefully with some outside help/accountability to keep me on track while I'm unmedicated) to put a system in place that doesn't make me constantly want to die while like. maybe actually getting stuff done! So I'm making some optimistic goals for 2021 regarding both my art and ability to make money, so here goes!

I'm breaking this down into 3 parts:

Changes to expect regarding my social media, commissions in general, posting, etc;

Overall Goals for 2021;

and Goals for January specifically.

Changes to expect going forward from here:

I'm going to be making some changes regarding my social media accounts, including this one, mostly concerning when, where, and how I'm posting.

I am also going to be making some changes to my commission policies, prices, and payments in the coming year, namely:

Lastly, I will be making some changes to my art discord server!

Moving forward, I am going to be MOST active on my twitter and tumblr accounts. They're just easier for me to maintain in general, and although I hate twitter's formatting, it's just easier and faster, and frankly after deviantART and Instagram fucked with their websites/algorithms, it just makes the most sense for me as an artist.

I'm also going to be making an effort to make scheduled cross-posts on all my accounts. In the past, I've been really irregular about when and where I post things (most things got posted to my old tumblr account but never here, i rarely remember to post to instagram, etc).

This is going to include commission slots, finished piece dumps, etc.

I will also be making an effort to semi-regularly post sketch dumps, both digitial and traditional. I am also considering at this time offering a monthly digital download of my sketch collections, though I am undecided as I'm not really sure how many people would be interested.

Increasing commissions prices to reflect time spent working on specific commission types, as well as my personal cost of living.

Planning and announcing commission slots in advance.

Taking and finishing regular commissions to cover living expenses on a monthly basis

Payments will be exclusively through paypal invoice, and will be broken up in halves: first half will be taken up front after I have started and given proof of start (base sketch), the second half will be paid after completion, with WIPS given between first and second payment. Fully completed art will be given after receipt of second half. This is both for my personal protection as an artist, as well as for the comfort of the commissioner as my completion time can sometimes be long due to my ADHD/executive dysfunction.

Moving forward into 2020, my discord will be SFW, but 18+ only. This is a personal comfort thing. I'm 25 years old now, and just really don't want to spend time hanging out with teenagers.

I'm also going to start trying to schedule art streams again! Since this is the only place I can live stream due to my art computer's limitations, it just makes sense to like. Schedule them so more people are able to attend. I haven't decided exactly how that's going to look, but once I have I'm going to make an announcement and formatting guide somewhere for people to see so they can make an informed decision about joining the server.

I will also be regularly posting in the server again. This may or may not be cross posts from twitter and such, we'll see, but I DO plan on being more active there since it's been kind of dead.

I may also reformat the whole server again. We'll see!

Goals for 2021

Regular Adopt Sets -- 2-3 per month. Size, price, and number in set will be decided on case by case basis.

I'll be doing a monthly prompt for myself as well. This is just to get me back in the habit of creating things I like for myself to just feel... less bad about my art in general, and about making art. Also it'll be good for my artistic development i think?

Keeping a monthly sketchbook for warm-ups and in-between pieces. May be offered as a paid download at the end of the month, we'll see.

Might start a patreon? This is EXTREMELY dependent on what my userbase looks like. Tiers and rewards to be decided at a later date

Regular traditional sketches + scan and upload of said sketches. May also be offered in the monthly sketchbook.

Draw more self portraits & self-expression pieces! I don't know if any of yall realize how repressed I've been in the last year without therapy, and I did't either until I forced myself to pursue a vent piece earlier this month, and then felt immensely better afterward so. Going to start doing that! Maybe I'll feel better weee

Regular posting to social media! (see changes above)

Drawing less fantrolls bc I'm just bleh about them lately, drawing more original content!

Drawing fancontent that ISN'T homestuck? We'll see but I'd like to. I don't usually draw fan art bc like. Idk in my mind I don't feel like my interpretation of things is important or cool and I think thats a confidence thing and I'd like to change that so! I'm gonna start making more fan content.

Draw more full illustrations & backgrounds in general because I actually enjoy doing them it turns out?

Practice painting more !! Both traditionally and digitally....

Goals for January 2021

Finish at LEAST 1/4 of my art queue. I'm shooting for half, really, because fully completing it might actually kill me but! We'll see! Maybe I'll surprise myself. But I'm setting the goal low to keep my mental health problems in mind.

Finish and release the base set i've been working on, on and off. It's an homage to  the old pixel doll days of 2009-2012, and the full sheet will be free to use (with stipulations, as I have some people blocked that I don't want using it). BUT! There will also be a mix and match .psd that will be pay to use (it'll be pay to use a, bc it'll be huge, and b, bc the edits to make it mix and match results in like 6 seperate bases in general so.... yeah. pay to use)

Finish the pay-to-use base pack i started in june (i may scrap and restart though, we'll see)

Possibly release all old p2u bases of mine in one pack on gumroad? price tbd but it will include old iterations as well as unreleased remakes.

Making some dainty-specific bases! One will be f2u, one will be p2u.

I have a whole dainty YCH set for january! I just have to finish the example... (:

Perhaps I'll be announcing a collaborative project later in the month! It depends on where each of us are at, at the time! We'll see! (: You should be excited though! It'll be a ton of fun!

EXTERNAL LINKS

Instagram

Twitter

Tumblr

deviantART

Discord server

[bma-2020]

Okiedok here’s the delio. I have a list of all the blogs from the last six months who’s actively either responded to a meme i sent, responded to a message ive sent, replied to something regarding mally herself, has actually written with me, written a starter for me from my liking a starter call, has at least liked a starter i wrote for them to awknowedge it exists, all that jazz, i have a lot of open field so it’s not just a possible tumblr didnt let them no option anymore, because i send memes to everyone who posts them that i see. I reply to most peoples ooc posts. I like most starter calls I pass by. I try my darndest to actually interact bc i know how it feels to be ignored and its… i’ve been called one before so i’m using the word, thats fluffing cunty behavior, and honestly if you complain about not being interacted with but never even try when i try with you, ya being cunty, end of. I gotta list. That list only entails Mally because she’s who I care about the most. I’m probably gonna start instilling a new rule in all my blogs that if you ignore Mally and/or Darcy( @tasedandconfused ), since I would say they’re my two main blogs tho darcy gets ignored even more than mally does, probably bc i denied canon and left it entirely we know fandom hates that, if either of them is ignored then… Ya out of luck, I’m gonna unfollow you. I’m debating soft blocking everyone who ignored me on both of them but I don’t want to like be mean and deny the chance to eventually try again but at the same time i shouldnt feel bad for taking a stand and saying this is bullsheet, idk my anxiety says im awful for giving a fluff about myself but also i should give a fluff about myself probably, ive nearly died in the last three months, my brain almost exploded, i just had three root canals on one corner of my face, i have to potentially get surgery on my inner ear which i cant even afford, i dont got time to deal with only being used for like smut memes or like as a resource blog or utter bs like that, i dont got time for it. So new rules here. 1: If Mally or Darcy are not acknowledged, written with, responded to, viewed as more than just their fluffing bodies? ya dropped, im unfollowing, potentially soft blocking, which means blocking and unblocking for those not in the know, on all accounts I follow you on. Every single one. I know most of my muses are on sideblogs but despite not being able to send memes from sideblogs you can block people from sideblogs fun fact, i will do that if i have to. 2: I’m gonna be posting SCs, PCs, memes, etc. I like and respond to plotting calls, starter calls, i send memes, all of that. If I don’t get any response within.. I’m giving one week for people who don’t run on a queue and a month and a half to people on a queue based system, if i dont get anything within that time like at least an im being like ‘its posted’ or ‘its queued i wanted to let you know in case tumblrs a fluffbutt’ (i do this sometimes if i dont get even just a like on the starters i post so i at least know people saw it since i know tumblrs bs, i wait until the day they’re active to do so in case theyre busy yknow) basically i need acknowledgment at all. No you can’t claim this is abt follower count bc when you unfollow someone they inevitably unfollow you too, thats gonna drop my following, not as quickly as soft blocking would but i wanna be fair i guess, which leads to: 3: I’m basing this on your activity too, like if i like a think and you’re gone for a month after that its fine, im not gonna unfollow you unless you never come back or youre online and posting others just not mine because that tells me youre specifically ignoring me and im gonna drop you for that end of. I’m done with the bullsheet im done w the dillish behavior, i love friendship but if im giving and never receiving thats extremely one way and not gonna work. I check through my follow list weekly and i go back about five-10 pages on someones feed before i unfollow them to see their actual activity and see if theyre here or if its a q so. I’m thorough basically. 4: You dont have to be active with me on all your blogs, i mean i’d prefer it but thats hard as fluff so essentially if you have like five blogs and are just like trying w me on two or three thats fine. Ten blogs, four or five with at least a plot formed is cool. Multis just one muse is all I’d need. I’m not gonna unfollow the blogs youre not writing w me on if you at least write w me on some. Again, specifically Mally and/or Darcy. If you ignore both of them, we’re done. I havent been active on darcy because of being ignored and its a huge butt mess and im just tired i wanna use my babies, you don’t get to have my ‘better’ muses like i know a lot of ppl only follow me for my boys or my villains, you don’t get them if you ignore my baby. But, there is a limit there too. 5: If you never respond to a meme or thread even once with Mally or Darcy, or post a starter, i reply, its never replied to again after a month, I’m unfollowing and/or soft blocking for that too. Bc that means youre just raising my hopes to fluff with me or get someone else and honestly, youre even more cunty than than the people just flat out ignoring me if you do that. And this isnt a specific person, this is five of the people actually on my list. Yes, my list is also annotated with specifics again I was very thorough on this yesterday, I hyperfixated I’ll admit it, I’m in a fluffing depressionary bubble and being told to get over it because people want something they dont deserve to have to. I am a believer that people deserve good things but if youre purposefully being cunty… no you dont. 6: No I’m not releasing my list, maybe I will and I’ll omit the urls because I don’t want people being buttholes to each other too but otherwise, yall not seeing it im not giving a callout because… really thats just unnecessary here. I don’t think yall are toxic people or something i just think yall are unintentionally being cunty. And no I don’t mean everyone that follows me i mean the ppl that add up to what i’ve documented so far and fit the bill of butthat that i’ve shown, its behaviors yall gotta check before ya wreck. Yes there will be some people who have priority, everyone has those people, I write w kathryn on other platforms since she doesnt go on here as often but when Kathryn returns from war here (if she does cause she also agrees most ppl on this platform are cunty, i feel really bad saying that word so often but im gonna keep doing it i recently deleted an ask saying I was a huge cunt for not sending someone smut memes when I didn’t even follow them or know they existed so, again the travesty of this place is nutballers) same with owly, alex is here too, my most active partners are always going to be priority because theyre the ones who show the most interest and the most care. I understand that with others as well which is why I have the timeframe set up, because I want to be as open and shizz as possible while atill being firm i guess. I don’t want to have extreme double standards like its impossible for double standards not to exist at least a little bit but I want to avoid a golden chest full of them I guess. 7: I don’t have a seven rn, this was an even number and it bothered me. Seven is nust my warning that I’m bittery writing this on mobile so formatting is not real but i tried my dandest to make this look like something people might actually mind. I dont want to be butty, i dont want to be awful, i dont want to start drama or have drama but that shizz comes around anyways so i might as well make my space as okay for me as i can cause im supposed to avoid stress so my brain doesnt almost explode again, like again i almost fluffing died i dont need ppl fake being my friend or anything, i want stuff to be real and clear. I want to be happy to be on here again and have fun like i used to since my health is plummetting and I’m not allowed to go outside near plants by myself anymore because i welt up. I have plants outside my work place and im surrounded by chemicals all day long I’m welted from here to new york constantly and never comfortable in my own skin because of it and constantly see people online acting like these actual real problems are pretentious because ‘its an excuse’ when, im a fluffing sagittarius, do you know how much i want to magically be a millionaire so i can pay for friends and my own medical stuff and go on traveling and adventures, be outside probably not camping bc as a pagan i know thats a death sentence but like be outside, lay on grass, go back to swimming because i used to swim competitively and due to health reasons i can barely even go in a pool anymore because theres too much sunlight which, bit plot twist i know, im fluffing allergic to vitamin D and the rays of the sun, so go figure, attempts to be healthy kill me more, i also cant eat most plants and am constantly dying from just eating food, they dont know whats wrong with me. i cant fix it by going ve/gan for a month inf act i tried and it almost made my heart stop thanks society. These arent excuses these are the lives of disabled and diseased and to a lesser but still very real point, ethnic lives every fluffing day. This is real shit and its murder and online and gaming? It may be all I have soon since I can’t just go out and make new friends cause, again, I’d fluffing die. I get sick going to the mall or the movie theater, I miss theme parks so much but have to minimize it to weeks i dont have work so i dont get fired for having a welt while working in the beauty industry. I may have to get a degree online and change my field entirely because of my illness that nobody understands. People even make fun of it constantly online and I wish I could just drop online entirely because of how unbelievably ableist the entirety of the world is, i wish i could drop humans in general for their ableism, but i cant. I don’t have choices in most cases, but throwing away people who maybe purposefully maybe unintentionally thats why i’m giving you this warning and will be repeating this warning for awhile, this is where i have choice. I have to use what little choice I have in life while I can since everytime i go to movies or a concert or a theme park i almost die because of not having an immune system that functions or being in certain air qualities pr being near plants or unclean people, I may not have much time and I gotta do whats best for what little mental health I have, and if that means dropping people i care about and really want to write with and do things with but who ignore me then, i guess so be it.

[frankierose]

oh hey Post Time so in like sept-oct last yr i went to disneyland and we went on Most of the rides i will now be rating them out of 10 DISCLAIMER i will not be rating some that we went on like snow whites scary adventure or like. pinocchio’s ride cause those were basically all the same and lowkey boring

haunted mansion: pretty fun, it was chill and considering me and my mom are both huge nightmare before christmas fans it was rlly interesting!! nice slowpaced ride u_u 7/10 buzz lightyears astro blasters: also funky altho both times we went on it it got stopped for some reason and I Do Not Know Why. next time we go to disneyland tho im okay if we dont ride it adshasjdasdj 5/10

grizzly river run: OOO i loved this one. water rides are pretty cool and i liked that u could go on it w other ppl!! we wouldve went on it the next day we went to dl but my little brother didnt like it and i was Sad. but its aight overall Good Ride 8/10

that one tower ride: FUNKY!! it was rad even though i was Very Very Anxious. would not let go of the grips both times we went on it and i wont ever because i would Rather Not feel like im floating out of my seat tyvm sJDFMDMF. the tippy top tho was really cool and disney does a great job of immersing you in the stories of the rides. 9/10 incredicoaster: by FAR MY FAVORITE RIDE JSDFDMFM. it was fun and fast and AAA. considering the only roller coaster experience i had before that one was a shitty one at a local park in iowa, im surprised i even went on it (altho i was forced to so what can u do) as said above the speakers and shit really help me get my mind off the fact that were going Real Fast and we are Real High. but it was fun!! ∞/10 indiana jones adventure: i was feeling like shit in the queue for it so it wasnt the greatest experience for me but it was okay. wasnt anything special 4/10

its a small world: i was feeling VERY ANXIOUS THE WHOLE RIDE BECAUSE I DID NOT KNOW IF MY FAMILY WAS LYING TO ME ABOUT THE SPEED OR NOT. IF YOU KNEW THEM YOU WOULD KNOW THEY WOULD DO THAT. but it was okay kinda interesting to see all the Old Stuff u know. 4/10

ariels undersea adventure: funky as well! the animatronics were really cool and VERY lifelike it was wack. there was one part where we were going backwards and That was lowkey scary but eh 5/10 mad tea party: fine. teacups ride. u know. both times we went on it im pretty sure we had eaten recently so whoever i got stuck with i TOLD THEM not to spin it and they didnt thank god 4/10 (its a classic but it Gets Old) that one star wars ride idfk: EXTREMELY OVERRATED. THE QUEUE WAS SO FUCKING LONG and the ride was honestly boring considering it was supposed to be a High Speed Ride. all i did was press a button to shoot things i couldnt even really watch what was happening. admittedly u might like it more if ur a star wars fan but my whole family isnt really into that stuff so. 0/10 mike and sulley to the rescue: it was cool, slow ride u know. once again the animatronics were really good and i had fun watching them u_u 5/10

pirates of the carribean: BORING. and i didnt like the drops there was literally only a bar to hold onto and I Don’t Like. i can get going on the ride for nostalgia’s purpose (which we did bc one of my older relatives wanted to (she was v sweet)) but i wouldnt go on it unless i absolutely had to. 1/10 (better than the star warrs one tho) radiators springs racers: OH I LOVED THIS ONE TOO it was a nice intro to roller coasters. first time we went on it i got the shit scared out of me tho cause of the truck part i thought we were Going to Die. (i legit got the wind knocked out of me we turned so fast) but the second time was much easier and a lot more fun!! 100/10

silly symphony swings: also fun!! relaxing ngl. i really didnt wanna go on it at first because i REALLY dont like heights but when we did it was great!! 9/10 space mountain: it was okay. i was very anxious and nauseous in the queue because i didnt know what to expect and we were Very High Up. (also we ate shitty food too so) but i closed my eyes the whole time which i kinda regret cause i wish i couldve seen all the stuff. but eh it wasnt as good as incredicoaster 😤6/10

splash mountain: pretty fun!! log ride. U Know. it didnt stink tho thank god. the only bad thing abt it is that no one told my older brother to take off his hat so he lost it on the drop and was really upset abt it (it was like. 30 bucks after all) so that was a bummer. but i think he got a new hat at the end so *shrugs* 7/10 toy story midway mania: it was fun. kinda hard to see stuff cause i have glasses and u had to wear like 3d glasses but eh i would ride it again probably? 5/10

finally. the fucking FERRIS WHEEL:

awful i would never ride it again i think it traumatized me. there was NOTHING to hold onto, NO seatbelts i had NO WAY of feeling safe because i DIDNT KNOW WHEN DROPS WERE GONNA HAPPEN. i CRIED. IT WAS TERRIBLE. -∞/10

anyway thats all thank u for reading

[seungmin-jpeg]

Stray Kids On Tumblr // Jisung

Chan // Woojin // Minho // Changbin // Hyunjin // Jisung // Felix // Seungmin // Jeongin

One of the few members that actually 

Spent a goooood amount of time on his header

And his desktop theme actually 

Like actually learned how to do some html coding to make his blog nice

Works really hard to keep is blog running smoothly

Doesn’t ever use queue tho

Really isn’t that invested 

Anyways 

He’s had the blog since forever

Like ever

Got on tumblr to destress after school

Then continued to use it to destress after he’s long days of training

he just wanted a nice looking blog

Never really made his own posts 

Like he’d go through phases of posting his own things

Little bits of lyrics and poems and texts and stuff

Nothing to fancy

He’d follow some block b’s zico stuff

Because role models am i right

So he’d be aware of the big kpop side of tumblr

He’d be the type of blogs that would write short-ish pieces 

Where there was no real plot

Not really any characters either 

Just like aesthetic writing

Something that started out as a melody in his head

And he’d take that melody and put it into words and post it

Each person could interpret in their own way

Which is why those types of posts ended up taking off

He’d never really post them to often

Because i mean how often can he just put a melody into words

And then yah know eventually he started putting that towards 3racha and stray kids

But every now and then when he would think of something that wouldn’t ever fit with the two of them

He’d write it down

But this is how he got your attention

You’d followed his blog a bit ago

Probably around the time he was a trainee

You couldn’t really remember how you got there

But once you saw some kpop stuff there

And get even further into his blog

And found his little written bits

You followed him right away

You were always waiting for him to post another little bit of writing

And when he finally did

It was even more amazing then you had expected it to be

And you couldn’t help but to leave an ask

Going on about how great his blog was and how much you loved his writing and just wow

And of course he was like 

Woooooh someone likes me weird brain dumb posts enough to leave an ask like this?? 

And he checks out your blog naturally 

Because of the ask it links him to your main blog

And its pretty normal

He sees a few kpop posts and is like

Hey!!! They’re into kpop!

And then he sees the links in your description

And checks a few of them out 

And then 

Oh and thennnnn

He clicks on the link that leads to your stray kids blog

And his jaw drops

Because what

He’d been on tumblr for so long

But this is one of the first stray kids blogs he’s ever found

Naturally he’s got this huge swelling feeling in his heart

But he’s also just kinda like

Someone who’s a fan of me found my other blog

Somehow

And still likes me??? 

Even without knowing its actually me??? 

Shook

He cant help but follow you

He follows both your main blog

And your sk blog

Because why not

Of course you notice right away

How would you not notice that such an amazing and inspirational blog followed you

AND your stray kids blog at that

Another stray kids fan!!!!

That in itself was exciting

He likes and reblogs a good bit of your stray kids stuff

And your like

Can’t let this moment pass

So you message him and are just kinda like 

“Hey thanks for following me i really love your blog your writing is amazing. Also i see you like stray kids?” 

And thus the start of a beautiful relationship 

Of course you had nooooooo clue you were talking to the Han Jisung of Stray Kids

The j.one of 3racha

Probably for the best

Because you’d actually die if you knew it was him

Also it’d totally be risky for jisung himself

But somehow the two of you keep in contact 

And actually find decent things to talk about

Instead of giving you his name 

Because he’s smart enough to not thank goodness

He just went by his nickname 

“Squirrel” 

And you’re like yes the cutest nickname i love it 

And then moved on

You called him your “squirrel” 

And he somehow ended up calling you his “puppy” 

And thats just how it stayed

Even when you’d tag each other in posts 

He’d use your nickname 

And you’re follows where always ???

Why puppy???

Tbh you didn’t know either but you just went with it 

Not gonna lie you found it super cute 

Made your heart feel all fluttery 

You loved talking with your squirrel

And he really loved talking with you 

But as the survival show got more intense 

And then stray kids debut on the horizon 

And you were kinda ;___;

Because where’s your squirrellll 

Little did you know jisung was missing you a lot too

Anyways one day you were watching a vlive

And a group of the boys were talking about things they miss

And jisung 

Real chill was just like

Oh i miss my puppy

And you were just kinda ???

Cause you didn’t know jisung had a puppy

Felix had clearly been thinking the same thing apparently

Because he were like 

Wait you have a dog???

And he just kinda looked at felix and then glanced at the camera and smiled before turning back to whatever he was doing before

And you couldn’t help but feel ??? that maybe ??? 

Maybe that was about you?? 

But you pushed that thought out real quick

That’s bs there’s no way that had anything to do with you

So you just finished the vlive and went back to scrolling through tumblr

And then  you stumbled across a list of the sk members nicknames 

And oh gosh

Jisungs nickname 

Of course it was 

His nickname was squirrel 

Now everything you had worked so hard to shove down earlier was coming back

And coming back much stronger

Your squirrel wasn’t han jisung right

It couldn’t be

There was absolutely no way it could be

But you couldn’t help it anymore

So you messaged jisung

And just kinda said something like

Hey did you know you and jisung go by the same nickname?? 

And surprisingly faster than usual he messaged you back and was like 

“Yah, isn’t that ironic?!” 

And you’re just kinda like …..

And then you get another message and its like 

“He also really misses his puppy too!” 

And you’re like 

…….

And he just kinda sends you a winky face 

And your like “there’s no way”

You get a “lol” back

At this point you’re 95% sure it is him

So you take a deep breath and say

“You’d tell me if it’s true right?” 

And he says

“Didn’t i already tell you tho?” 

Youre screaming now

Hes pretty much screaming too

“So you’re really him” you send off

“I’ll only answer if you say it for real” 

“But if im wrong that's embarrassing” 

“pup how can you be wrong at this point”

You can practically hear him laughing at you 

“Wouldn’t it be bad for you to have it so straight forward tho? If we keep it like this then technically i dont have any solid evidence its you…” you say

He takes a bit to respond 

“I guess you’re right…” 

And thus you somehow ended up becoming the mom friend to jisung 

Well...friend… the “friend” part is up in the air… 

[r1ku]

💃Heya, Stef here,💃

A little update on how it's goin.

Oct.26.2020

I completed/deleted some game apps from ny phone.

But yeah for the longest time, all year basically, my time had been preoccupied with mobile games and discord and reading manga and webtoons, like a shit load of them, like hundreds almost.

And again, I think I'm starting to get better at grasping my time management for all the things I need to do in my life instead of hyper focusing on games and webtoons. It's very easy to feel left behind in games, when you are unable to dedicate a lot of time to it, especially if you play many ganes at once, to distribute time amongst them.

☆

Well, I want to actually try enjoying Genshin Impact, and fix all the weapons and dragons and wyrmprints in Dragalia Lost, and organize my medals and traits in KHUx, and try playing Guardian Tales more, I like that pixelated art story it's got goin on. Most of my focus has gone to Obey Me! Shall We Date?, that I absolutely love and am enamored with lmao.

The game I finished recently was Liar! Uncover the Truth, whose story has surprised me as its amazing the redemption they all get in the sequel. Always so much more goin on to people that you think you know and it showed that, and it showed them willing to change for the MC and the MC for them, for the relationship to start and work out and to go past any prejudices and assumptions both people had about the other person.

It's just a total damn shame that I wasn't playing the game in real time when it first released in 2017?/2018? So I missed out on a lot of special events, but oh well, I can see some special CG art on tumblr/twitter/instgram, at least.

☆

Then been reading so many webtoons, I plan to make a recommendation document sometime, actual concrete what I think are the best ones I'd recommend, not just curated "oh I think this person would like these particular ones".

☆

Well, now I'd just like to say that I'm doing well and I've been here chatting up with peeps, but not reblogging anything until my drafts reach 0.

So sadly, I've been missing out on some goods. I just like to have a process and planned way of doing things personally, so I'd planned that I would evenly distribute queue on both blogs up to 130 posts and reblog around 50 posts on each blog, to get rid of the bulk faster.

Then, when that is finished, I'd go through blogs I'm following to see what's going on with people since the 4 or so years I've been gone and see if I'm still interested in things or lost interest and unfollow blogs.

Then, I'd go thru my tumblr user tag, tag and find blogs to follow that have my current and newer interests.

Finally, I'd be good to go on just casually visiting tumblr to reblog and queue again, and finally look into all those masterposts in writing advice, book recs, art advice and utilize that. Use it, learn stuff. Excited for this!

☆

So yeah, pardon me if you see older posts being reblogged. They've just been hidden in my drafts for years. Stuff I'd been meaning to look at more closely later and never did.

As you can see, gosh I wonder how many will be from inactive or deleted blogs. When that is the case, I have no choice but to post on pink4walls because that's where the drafts are at.

But yeah again, this blog is main interests blog and appreciation for riku and the other one is aesthetic inspo blog to put anything else into.

One day a tagging system would be the bees knees but thats a long eventually lmfao. And updating the about me on desktop too.

☆

Updated my mobile bg, icon and color scheme for both blogs as well.

And that's that for now. Thank you for reading.💜

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Update November 25 2020

Just gonna not tag and hope i tag it one day

I just want no more drafts and to finally reblog current things

[mycomfortblanket]

Alrighty, got tagged by @su-univeralai and @authorjoydragon so lets give this shit a go.

1. Why did you choose your URL? -- uhhhh. Tbh, this is gonna be really weird and oddly specific. I was using WeHeartIt for fandom shit before I learned what tumblr was. So when I did, I was sitting at my computer and it was fucking cold in my room so I had this frog blanket that I had made when I was 10... and when it said I needed a url, I looked down and was like, alrighty.

2. Any side blogs? -- Nah. All the shit just goes on this one.

3. How long have you been on tumblr? -- Uh. since 2013, so thats like, what 8 years?

4. Do you have a queue tag? -- You know that would be so smart...

5. Why did you start the blog in the first place? -- Uh Percy Jackson, of course. My very first fandom and I needed HC's and fics

6. Why did you choose your icon? -- Flowers? I dunno, felt that it was pretty and since I post shit for different fandoms, shit posts, etc, thought I should need something neutral... and also I don't ever feel like changing it.

7. Why did you choose your header? -- Tbh, i dont even know/remember what my header is so

8. What's your post with the most notes? -- Some angsty shit I wrote after a break up "It's been a year and it hurts just as bad as it did then". I think it has like 400? it randomly gains a lot of notes before fading away

9. How many mutuals do you have? -- beats me.

10. How many followers do you have? -- 326

11. How many people are you following? -- 614.

12. Have you ever made a shit post? -- my whole life is a shit post

13. How often do you use tumblr each day? -- Uh usually an hour or so. Depending on what I'm doing.

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? -- I think I pissed off a blog by saying that Azulaang didn't make any sense to me and they told me to "Go do something productive and stop making ppl feel bad about their ships" to which I replied that I was in no position to make fun of ppl's ships considering the stuff i ship, and for the doing something productive, that was gonna be a hard no.

15. How do you feel about 'you need to reblog this' posts? -- i don't typically do them unless they're unconfrontational. I support blm, lgbt, human rights, etc. but i try not to reblog that stuff just because I don't want someone to take something the wrong way. I tried it once with a post about the war in some country, and someone literally came for me because im "uneducated on the topic" even tho i just said that not everyone knows that the picture meant and to give some people the benefit of the doubt.

16. Do you like tag games? -- I'm showing my age here, but you guys rememebr on myspace when they would have the surveys? i fucking loved those. so yes. i love tag games.

17. Do you like ask games? -- I feel like all my blog is recently is a fucking ask game.

18. which of your mutuals do you think are famous? -- I dunno if we're all mutuals but def @authorjoydragon @aangorithms and @dannyurl

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual? -- Babe, i've got crushes on everyone. @authorjoydragon @stitch1830 @su-univeralai @bei-fongs-bitch @krastbannert

20. Tag! -- @krastbannert @dannyurl @saintrickolasthethiccolas @layzhe-06@aangorithms

Thanks for the tag, @cacodaemonia!

1. Why did you choose your url?

The honest answer? I didn’t have a clever idea so I looked to the right and saw my bookshelf (I was an avid reader as a kid and now) and then I looked at my cats, thus the name

2. Any side blogs?

Nah

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

I’m not sure. I started it a few years ago, but wasn’t very active until a year or two ago.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

No

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I don’t remember my original reason, but when I became more active it was because I wanted to be involved in the Star Wars fandom and have another place to inflict my fanfics on unsuspecting readers XD

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Because it’s the best thing I’ve sketched and I’m stupidly proud of it

7. Why did you choose your header?

I just think it’s cool

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

I’m not 100% sure, I also don’t know how to check tbh

9. How many mutuals do you have?

I don’t know, y'all. I’m not certain what a mutual is. Pls forgive my ignorance! XD

10. How many followers do you have?

Um, 80 last I saw

11. How many people do you follow?

239 so far

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

Occasionally

13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?

I don’t really time it, maybe an hour or so?

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Nope, not about that shit

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

I already have anxiety and use tumblr to escape. I reblog some that I believe in and want to help spread awareness about, but I don’t like the pressure that comes from them

16. Do you like tag games?

Y e s!! I love these!!

17. Do you like ask games?

I love those too!!

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

so, so many

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Nope

20. Tags

No pressure tags: @gracethescribbler, @cadaverriffic, @agentfrostbite, @english-is-weird, @l-theseus, @xcertaindarkthingsx

[shiny-craboo-blog]

@rockformed​ replied to your post : i keep goin away for a long time but theres a good...

what asshole?? 👀👀👀👀👀

WHOOO lemme tell you this is a long one (sorry about any spelling errors i was tryna get this done quickly)

it was actually that guy that we played overwatch with together once.

ive known him since about december, but he was saying lots of homophobic and racist shit, so i was like eh might as well try to make him a better person, but to do that, you gotta get close, and i started liking him (literally @ past me why?????)

so i flirt a little here, giggle a little there, and he falls in love with me. i liked him too, but he liked me to a point where it was obsessive. he was telling me i saved his life and that out of everyone on earth im his favorite. i come out to him as trans one day, and after a lot of thinking, he was like “okay yeah im okay with this” and i was happy

however, like i said, he was really obsessive. he wouldnt let me play games with anyone else unless he was there, and when i tried to watch a show with one of our mutual friends, he gets all upset about it.

eventally, even though he liked me, he started being a real ass. i told him that i didnt really like him anymore and that i wanted to stay friends, and he turned it into this huge fight and ended it with “Forget it... Good night.” - and he used that phrase every (and “goodbye”) every time he wanted a conversation to sound final or like he was going to die if i didnt give him all my attention right then and there.

the fighting continued for a few months, during which he called me a sociopath, narcissistic, not worthy off being called a human being, and all that typa stuff. he started feeling suicidal - even though he felt that way before i met him, he started feeling it stronger because he didnt have me constantly fawning over him to ease it out - and he straight up told me that he blamed me for his feelings.

the fights got reaaalllll bad, and eventually he had a set day and time, and every time i said i was going to call his mom about it, he got really defensive and acted like i was attacking him, saying “dont test me” and shit

he became really emotionally manipulative and just flat out malicious tbh

the day came around and i blocked him because i didnt want to hear about it, and he started yet another fight. he didnt do anything though because half an hour later he came crawling back saying that he needed someone to talk to and that he had this whole change of heart and that he realized what his friends were worth and how he acted really shitty and that he was sorry

but he didnt change his behavior at all lmao

he kept arguing with me, so i started just. not joining as much and not talking to him as often and he got really pissy, asking me if i was talking to other people and accusing me of talking with this guy who he hates (the guy he hates left to make another server with all the people this guy was an asshole to so they could have a place where he wasnt there being a dick and the guy im telling you about acts like the victim whenever he talks about it like?? literally if u were a better friend they wouldnt have felt the need to?) (and i totally was talking to the guy bc the enemy of your enemy is your friend and all that) but he was a real ass about it. 

and saturday!! this saturday!!! he was an ass the moment i joined the call so i left and he got mad saying like “you know how i get upset when you leave the call” and i was like “i just??? dont wanna be there if ur gonna be mean to me the moment i join??” and he said

THIS BITCH

said

“its a guy thing to be mean to your friends. but i guess you wouldn’t know about that ;)”

so i blocked him. he texts me saying that hes been mean because his dads been on his back about college, and i said it wasnt an excuse. a few minutes later, someone from the server messages me sayin that nick said if i dont unblock him hes gonna ban me. so i unblocked him and asked for a reason why i should stay. this bitch. this ass. says “because i thought we were friends�� LIKE BIIIIIIITCH PLEAAAAAAASE YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WE AINT

anyway we fought for 3 hours and rather than giving me any good reasons to stay he called me stupid and said i misinterpreted the message like?? how else am i supposed to interpret it????????

so im staying, making him fall in love with me again, then leaving.

bonus: i made a list of the highlights of some of the shit things hes said to me

"Forget it... good night." "i used to trust everyone then the thing happened with my cousin so i stopped sharing myself or exposing myself. then i did over the years with kii then she backstabbed me. then ness and it happened again. i didnt trust anyone and still wasnt ok with sharing myself. then u stepped in and made me feel happy and wanted and like i could trust people. then you said you loved me like you did. i opened up and pursued and got lead on for 15 hours a day for a month up until i got enough courage to try to stand and speak open heartedly and with courage and the next day you lose all interest." "you know what? you obviously dont like me anymore. im over it you win. im done chasing. the goalposts always change. its over." "i cant stop chasing you. you are literally my favorite person on earth." "im doing this once a day from now on. wanna go out" "1 reason i got on ow. *1 reason i got on ow off my psych. guess it doesnt matter to you." “For the record the reason im mad all the time is because im fucking pissed at you but cant take it out for some reason.” “reason im so shit ight now is caught i thought i was at rock bottom and you took me up the mountain just to fling me off. forget it. good night." "youre still online. just gonna pretend im not here?" "hope this doesnt wake you up but sorry for being a cunt." "i still want to die haha. life sucks" "im sorry." me: you purposely did something to make me mad and then get upset when i get mad "im hald zoned in rn im getting killed by bad vibes but im not gonna make you mad ever again." "why did you fool me. i fight with you a lot now and its because of what you did to me and how ive lost my sense of self and all emotions because of you. but then i remember this is just how i usually am and being happy is what people are supposed to be like and im not so this is normal and only my fault so. i forgot where i was going with this but take care friend." "if it was the concept thing then why do i still love you." "i get upset because i have to actively avoid falling for you." "im only angry and mean to you because i dont understand my emotions." "im gonna kill myself saturday at 7:32 pm" (<<<this was two weeks ago hes fine now) "im not gonna do it i just want attention" "to keep it 100 i just said that so you wouldnt call anyone." "dont test me" "eat shit" "if youre trying to make me unfriend you its working" "actual human beings dont pull that bullshit. they suck it up and stick to their word or break the news to the other and dont drag them along." me: every humans a human regardless of whether or not they feel "theyre a human. not an actual human. theyre a human but not worthy of being called one." "in 3 months you managed to fuck with my emotions and make me want to kill myself more than kii did in 3 years." "i think this is the last conversation were gonna have. if you got anything important to say speak now or forever hold your peace. alright youre in overwatch and missed your chance." "have fun with your game hope its worth losing me over."

me: im going to call your mom and tell her right now "and say what? 'im a bad friend and now nick wont talk to me?'"

me: no. 'nicks planning on killing himself.' "and ill just say its someone im amd at trying to get revenge on me" "im not convinced that its not a whole thing made specifically to drive me to suicide." "in queue rather than fixing problems. typical. goodbye, asshole." "what if by trying to stop the outcome u saw you just pushed me away from one of the only people i trusted and now im on a path that ends in my inevitable self destruction." "no thats the depression but i am saying u took away what made me happy." "forget it, ill catch you later. apparently no goodbyes either lol." "bye oats." "the only thing you will ever love besides yourself is overwatch. bye." "are you there i just got back and i really need someone." "beause youre the middle man i guess and it was a test of allegiance i think in my mind." "idk i just feel like not many people actually like me deep down and its a shit thing of me to put that on others." "hows ness doing" "because im done walking on eggshells for you, snowflake. "its a guy thing to be a dick to your friends. guess u wouldnt understand ;)" "sorry for being a jerk. dad has been riding me all week and im mad all the time." "maybe you would get it if your dad ever punched you or woke you up by throwing shit at you." (i know for a fact his dad doesnt do this. there was a whole week where we were in a call 24/7 to see how long we could get one to last and his dad brings him dinner and plays xbox in the same room sometimes. i get that from an outside perspective this may seem mean to overlook, but if you knew this guy, you wouldnt put it past him to lie about shit like this just for attention.) "youre being such a baby over this. its not a big deal, its an argument." "considering you didnt write it id consider it awful stupid of you to think you can interpret it better than the author." "you dont know me"

[shadyparade]

i was tagged by @fennekiin to do this cute little tag game! thank you very much <3

i dont think im gonna tag anyone this time but obviously if you wanna do this, go ahead! it was pretty fun :)

why did you choose your url?

i actually got it from a random generator! lmao im not very creative... its a nice username though i think! i really like being called shady :)

any side blogs? if you have them: name them and why you have them

i have a few haha, theyre all private though. i used to use them to reblog various hyperfixations that i didnt want to spam my main blog with, and also to save some usernames that i liked. i wont name them though because theyre all private so you wouldnt be able to see them anyway lmao

how long you've been on tumblr?

its been so long that i dont even know anymore lmao. my current account was made in 2016, but ive been around longer than that.

do you have a queue tag?

i dont really know why anyone would tag a queue tbh... maybe to let people know that you arent actually online? anyway, i dont queue so no lol

why did you start your blog in the first place?

i like that tumblr is very gay and focused on fandom so i wanted to be a part of that lol

why did you choose your icon?

i really like persona 5! and i really like akira/ren/joker :)

why did you choose your header?

i dont have a header lmao and thats because i like how my blog looks without one better. hashtag minimalism or whatever lol

what's your post with the most notes?

i basically only reblog posts and dont really post much of my own stuff. probably if i had to guess though, it might be one post i made which was just a picture of my bird lmao

how many mutuals do you have?

46! wow, thats more than i would have thought lol

how many followers do you have?

292 ^_^

how many people do you follow?

978....... is that too much? lmao

have you ever made a shitpost?

not really lol

how often do you use tumblr each day?

a lot probably! its easy to use when im bored lol

did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

ive never really had anything like that! i mostly just reblog funny memes and stuff so i dont really see a lot of discourse or whatever

how do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?

i dont really like stuff like that but ill probably still reblog a post with that on it if i really agree with the rest of it

do you like tag games?

i like filling them out! its nice sometimes to just answer a bunch of questions from a list lol. i always feel weird tagging people in return though haha

do you like ask games?

i dont really do ask games tbh. idk why really but i just like them less than tag games

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

im not gonna name them but im pretty sure at least 3 of them are tumblr famous. but who knows really! maybe all of them are :o

do you have a crush on a mutual?

no hahaha, though i always like seeing them on my dash :)

[dragonji]

check in tag time ! thanks @transyebaiyi for the tag im sending u So many keeses<333

under the cut bc im very wordy hehe

why did you choose your url?

as my pinned states, my two passions in life are dragons and pretty boys of which lwj is the prettiest of them all so ofc i just had to combine them<3 i also Really Love dragon lwj content in general  (as for my usual url crow-n-prince it's my semi professional one! i use it for art related things and it's meant to be a play on crown prince-> crow (one of my other fave things) and prince)

any side blogs? if you have them: name them and why you have them

none that i really use anymore! i used to be pretty active on wonhostransbf for kpop stuff and i have around 30 saved urls for various themes but i gave up and just keep everything on main.. full medley soup here on dragonji dot tumblr dot com baybee ( bonus some highlights of my saved urls are wangjimp3, yanfus, poetswordsman, disconcernings, and t4tlwj)

how long you've been on tumblr?

i?? think since early high school so.. around 6 years?

do you have a queue tag?

i actually just started one like last week! it's "i would wait for q" which i felt was suitably gay longing of me (not that i really need a queue tag rn since im online constantly anyways-)

why did you start your blog in the first place?

uhh i think mainly to post art? and keep up with my interests at the time so not much different from what i use it for currently

why did you choose your icon?

all my recent icons have been lwj for ahem kinnie reasons also i figured i should use my own art sometime and since i managed to finish some lwj art for pride it just worked out :3

why did you choose your header?

it started as a joke bc i was like oh funny haha the kfc tgcf promo pic but i actually really love the colors and got too attached... it just feels warm and also means i get to look at hualian whenever i want so it stayed<3

what's your post with the most notes?

probably this nhs art for his bday a couple years ago and honestly deserved I spent So long on that thing

how many mutuals do you have?

around.. 20?? maybe 30? but only a handful that i consider true Mutuals u know

how many followers do you have?

494 but most are inactive or from like years ago

how many people do you follow?

1300... i need to go thru bc i've never actually cleaned out my following list but thats a lot of work so i'll keep putting it off

have you ever made a shitpost?

i dont think so? i just kind of post for me if ppl reblog it thats on them

how often do you use tumblr a day?

i am quite literally always on these days unfortunately<3 during school i check whenever i get breaks and during the evenings + a good few hours before i go to sleep i'm usually hanging out while watching shows/reading other stuff

did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won? 

besides the anon from the other day no not really. I much prefer to avoid confrontation in general and usually just block pretty liberally to cut off that kind of thing before it gets bad. it helps that im not a very popular blog so complete strangers dont feel entitled to start shit randomly lol

how do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?

kind of.. greasy in general :/ if it's an important issue i would rather find informative or relevant posts without that kind of phrasing but i'll rb if im short on time or energy

do you like tag games?

i think theyre fun and sweet!! however i normally do not have much energy for them so i don't participate often sigh... i tend to overthink all my responses so by the time I finish one its like paragraphs long (case in point this one) and weeks after I first got tagged so I just dont post haha

do you like ask games?

yeah!!! theyre quick and interesting and let me do one of my fave things which is sharing little tidbits of my life online<3

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? 

oh i know a couple of my mutuals are legitimately famous on here but im not super close to them, and i know a few have had some really popular text posts but i'm not gonna name anyone haha 

do you have a crush on a mutual?

not at the moment! i have before but i'm not the type to act first on any feelings i have so usually i just crush for a few weeks and move on

i think most of my mutuals have been tagged already but if u see this and wanna say i tagged u go for it✨

[selfawarenesscat1994]

accidental long post

i dont normally put trigger warnings but this post speaks a lot about food/binge eating. and i kinda just went off on one haha. talk of money.

im sitting in the office writing this at work cus my boss told me to do the holidays but im done but i need to vent, the store is abso quite and i just need some time to myself.

i have money! 

oh my god the relief. 

im still gonna be struggling til the end of this month but its not as bad as its been through jan which has been fucking HELL because ive obv been doing my manager job and having all this worry/stress ontop ov it.

i paid my rent +fee and i have enough to cover my bills! !!!!

i bought a bus pass but im gonna probably walk to work when the weather gets less horrible as i acctually didnt mind the walk after a while and i felt a lot fitter adding that exercise into my daily routine. before dropping out of uni, i got quite bad for being the type of person who would go to the gym once or twice a week and justify a lazy existence because of that. the bus is terrible but its the difference of walking 6 miles and being out of the house for like 12 hours a day or whatever and taking a 10 minute bus journey from straight outside my work almost to my front door. 

i ordered new earphones becus mine are not working. they were like 6 quid but so worth it. i went into my favourite cosmetic shop and got some nice stuff for my face as its got so flaky and dry and sore. i bought some new combs, not a great expense, no but the last thing on my list of cheap stuff when i didnt hve any money. my hair is short and tuggy and thisll help. i went into a cheaper cosmetics store and bought a lot of cheap shampoo/conditioner, sanitry products n whatnot. i never used to stockpile these so i ended up at the beginning of jan with nothing, i bought a cheap bar of soap for my body and used some of my flatmates stuff (but its expensive so i did it like once a week max). its so nice to have product. its something i never throught was something id miss cos theyre so essntial but i got to the point where i couldnt really afford them because i had bills going out and had to keep my money for other things.

the front door of the flat is drafty so i got the flat a draft exludor on the way. yay.

ive consumed more food/calories in the past day than i probably have in a couple of years - apart from at christmas. last night i bought a milkshake after work. it was thick and tasty and amazing. on my walk home i also bought a bottle of irn bru, which wasnt as good cus i forgot they changed the receipe but ive not drank fizzy drinks regularly in a 

i thought it was gonna be enough to fill me up but my body suddenly decided it really wanted to binge and treat myself.

i odered a med pizza with two sides and cookies when i got home from work. i just stuffed my face and ate it all. it was glorious. i went out with my flatmate a bit later and i bought quite a big shop with fresh food but also a lot of tinned/frozen things bcus i know i will be poor at the end of the month. i binged on salad items at like midnight. i ate two eggs, a whole freaking cucumber and pack of tomatoes, along with half a red pepper, a carrot, some spring onion and spinach. fresh food never felt so good. i had fruit and a bagel wiv creme cheese for my breakfast this morning. ive not had breakfast in about 6 months because when i started uni i got so stressed i couldnt eat in the morning and then i couldnt really afford to. and i gave myself some money today to get some lunch. i planned on buying one of those salad meal deals but i ended up at subway, i only got a 6 inch tough cos i think i may have died if i got anything bigger. i did however get 3 cookies on offer, ive only ate one as of yet but the other two are staring me down right now. i was so tempted to go to mcdonalds but i would have binged too hard. my poor stomach which i mentioned before had became a lot flatter probs due to lack of food/a lot of walking is so bloated.  i was wearing quite a loose fitting shirt to work and you can just see this big round boi now. customers will think im pregnant fuck me. but its a good bloat. but as i also mentioned ive gained a bit of weight and in the past 24 hours ive probably put on about a stone haha. i probably lost around three inches from my tummy in the past coupla months and now its about 6 inches rounder haha. 

i honestly dont regret it. i think if this was a regular thing and i did stuff like this a lot i would probably be different and feel horrible but it was great. i loved all this good food. 

im gonna go back to reasonable spending now/eating now. i have some spicy carrot soup i made a fortnight ago in the freezer so im gonna heat the rest of that up tonight for me and my flatmate, if i even feel up for eating and tomorrow i will probably enjoy a cheeky but healthy fruit salad for my working lunch.

sucks my brother took out a loan but im splitting his repayments and we can both afford to pay it off, im sure you can even pay it off wholly early (for a fee though) so i could even do that in a few months time cos i already know ill be due a tax refund, i paid so much tax @ my last jobs before i quit them for uni and ill be taxed here but i didnt earn over the threshold due to my break and il be due loadddss back, so we will see.

im gonna donate at the end of the month to some people on here, im not gonna really examine who ‘deserves it most’ and just do it randomly tbh. thanks to the people who donated to me, it e a lot but it did help as i mentioned before.

sidenote below

sidenote - i dont have an eating disorder. i just binged today and yesterday because ive not been able to enjoy the food i like. 

ive always had a bit of a weird relationship with food because ive never been thin and have had some disordered tendancies but nothing thats effected my overall health massively. ive been on countless diets thrughout my life. i dont particularly act like that anymore cos it can be dangerous. id only go on a ‘diet’ if my health was really bad, if i was terribly overweight or if another health condition made me alter my diet. ive also a lot of reckless times where ive just not thought about what ive eat... queue the time i ate a whole selection box and half a tub of ben and jerries for my lunch or the time i only ate a loaf and a half of bread in a day and though ‘ah this is enough calories its fine’. but i think thats moreso bpd. if ive been having a bad time with my mental health i wont care about whats being put in my body. but its not been driven through a desrie to be thinner/bigger ever.

 ive been poor recently and not been living on the best of foods (will probably explain why ive gained weight) but i have been mostly cooking from scratch using frozen meat/fish/veg and tined foods (thank god for bootstrap cooking, am i right???), on occasion i bought fresh veg or meat but thats it. the rest of the food i was eating when i was poor and well still will be eating for the next month was and i try to limit this because i know its really unhealthy has been instant ramen/noodles/soups/rice, breaded frozen meat and frozen garlic bread and chips. snackwise its been like those 10p packs of buiscuits and ive also been baking when i can mostly using my flatmates stuff. if my flatmate was making food and had excess id sometimes have some if she offered but thats been it.

[crashpaddiaries]

Dear Crashpad Diary #17

Yoooooooo my favourite beasts in this entire universe!! How are you doing??

Sweeeeeeeeeeeet, I hope! =)

Here, as usual, all great!! well… the climb has been great but the results are not that cool… can´t barely remember which one was my last nice send hahahaha

but these things are like this… we get a fantastic period and then… shit as a monkey without arms!! haha

BTW… I´ll understand if you don´t believe me… but we saw an armless monkey at the monkey temple…. crazy… isn´t it¿?¿?

and the animals are so cool that he was leaving normally… didn´t care about the things missing… he was jumping around and having a happy monkey life… whereas… human beings…. are so used to keep focusing on the faulty and finding excuses to not do it or that… that monkey should be used on these inspirational videos that pops pretty often in our Facebook timelines hehe

Lately, we have met loads of dogs… one of them is Scarface… haha the guys gave him this cute nickname cuz a bus ran over him when he was a kid and his snout broke… but as all the animals… if no one takes care of them… they simply learn how to live with that… exactly what happened… poor dog has his jaw and snout dislocated and looks weirdly cute!! =)

That same day we were going to grab some food (Dosas and Idlis are the best haha I have to write a post about the food soon!! haha)… well…. and we found two puppies on the street… actually… Nikhill… a friend of ours found the dogs and could not left them on the road… at the exact spot that Scarface had the accident… so… we brought the dogs to Hampi… put them on the dirty road and they ran into a hole just beside it… disappearing for few secs… but only one came back… the brown one… the one with black spots just found her path hehe independent and strong woman han!! =)

As the brown one stayed… we started going everywhere with here… she even joined us at the crags… we named her Katie Brown as we all had just watched the Pilgrimage (climbing movie recorded in Hampi, starring Chris Sharma, Nate Golg and Katie Brown haha)… The movie session was cool… I talked to the owner of the guesthouse we are staying and got the movie night with pizza and friends!! What a great night!! =)

Oh… not even the dog helped us finding some of the boulders that we would like to have a go and couldn’t even spot them haha the maps aren’t that good just for a change haha

In Rocklands we couldn’t find a boulder that should be pretty easy to be found… we found the place but no boulder… it seems the aliens took that one…

but over here is even funnier… cuz the Hampi guidebook mentions: “Magnolia - 7c… extremely hard to find!“ Wait… that´s one of the reasons I consulting a guidebook… to help me find it… that it is hard to find the problems among the trillion thousands of boulders here, I already knew!! hahaha

So far we are looking for this problem… haha we thought of putting its pic on milk carts!! haha

Also… there is a legend of the sleeping buddha… the problem should be somewhere close the relax area, which we have already been to, but there´s no way to go further and we think this has been taken by the aliens too!! haha

The movie night at the guesthouse get us all psyched to watch a new movie that come just out… it is a hindi movie called Dangal… it´s based on a true story and it is about wrestling… such a great one… really well made and funny… the subject could not be more appropriate… haha to get to the movie I have to basically fight the indians haha It´s cool cuz they get so excited for it that the chaos escalates pretty fast haha we got there and the gates at the cinema were closed… cool… lets wait…. after few mins there was a huge amount of people waiting outside… once the gates opened you can imagine how crazy the things got… people running… to the queue…. another queue being formed just beside… people running to the women´s queue… motorcycles just beeping… more motos honking… people from the other session leaving… people drinking chai and running… people drinking chai and forming a third queue… a guy taking picture with Alfonso… Stephen avoiding getting hit by a kid driving a motorcycle twice of his size… loud and noise tuktuks outside… in the meantime I was running and trying to make my choice for which one of the three queues hahaha decided for the one that was kinda organised…. haha I know… what a newbie!!

When I was going to the end of that queue I had to go around a metal thing… haha simultaneously at least 3 indian guys jumped it and got in front of me haha what a newbie right hahah… after mins waiting and fighting against the “not official queues” we got the tickets!! sweeeeet!!

the side note here goes to the excitement and interaction during the movie… anything… I mean ANYTHING that happens deserves loads of whistles, claps and hysterical screams hahahaha at the end of the movie I found myself whistling and shouting…. cheering the last fight!! hahahahahaha

Talking bout cheering and feeling the happiness fulfilling our soul, 2016 ended in the best way possible… with friends… lying down on the rocks… surrounded by nature… the darkness was only broken by the stars… few headtorchs and many many sparse bonfires that were enlightening the whole Hampi Island… such a fantastic and magical night… =)

As usual… something has to happen to give us some fun… this time was the crazy people trying to deal with the fireworks maybe 500 metres from where we were… we could see the headlamps… something being lighten up… the headlamps running and the fireworks going through the rocks on the ground instead of going towards the sky… over and over…. the fireworks that night haven’t served their purpose… no firework made the sky beautiful at midnight… instead, they made people run… jump… burn and for us… they meant some cramps by laughing uninterruptedly watching the lights running from the “bombs”!! hahahahaha

The new year started greatly… we almost got arrested because Alfonso wanted to take some pics climbing the temples… but the problem is that it is prohibited the climbing on those rocks hahahaha but it was all good… he got his pics… I took them before the security started shouting… whistling and shooting!! haha Just kidding… they didn’t shoot!! haha

To go to the temples is already an adventure on its own… they are situated on the other side of the river… to cross is we normally get a boat that costs 10 to 50 rupees… depends on the mood of the guy charging you… also… if you look like a rich person… if you just got there…. if the moon is in Aries or if it is full moon… as every price in india… you must be careful and get the info beforehand to avoid paying twice the price hahaha

Well… the boat business is going down at the same pace the water lever of the river gets to its lowest point… we can actually cross walking… actually its not walking… it is jumping through the rocks… cuz some days the level is a bit higher than the others and some rocks go under water and cannot be used… which brings a whole new grade to the sport haha which sport?? Jump-crossing rivers!! haha Right now the grades are between 3 and 4… where 1 is the easiest… the ones you just walk through it and get to the other border… and 7 is the ones you gonna start crossing the river in New Delhi and is gonna get out of the rapids in Bombay!! hahahahaha

The one we are doing now requires some jumps and its not bad… we have great fun… but we´ve seen some people not having fun at all…. fist because they got wet… second of all… their stuff go soaked…. third of all… they get pretty smelly…. fourth reason is that they couldn’t get out of the river without falling at least 3 more times because it is extremely slippery… another good reason for not have fun is the fact that they may have to go back and grab new clothes… and last but not least… everything just to save 10 rupees hahahahahahahha

It is a great craic only sitting and watching people crossing that point… while loads of people watch, others try to help, many cheer for them to succeed, there will be always those cheering for the fall too hahahahahaha Entertainment that only India provides!! hahahaha

Anywhere you go in this world, the people will bring you the best experiences and the best stories… like the rainbow people that has been around since I don’t know when getting together to go to the Rainbow Gathering… the thing is that no one actually knows where the fuck is the place hahaha thats so funny… they were gathering for forever and were camping in private land… so the police came and busted everyone… hahaha I met a guy that went down there and told me that people were sitting still and doing pretty much nothing for the whole day… so he came back hahahaha

The best was a girl that I bumped into when I was climbing… I was heading home when she passed by barefoot… kinda walking weirdly… I said hello as she kept going the opposite way… she stopped and asked how she could get to the road hahaha I let her know that she should go the other direction and that I was going that way… she could join me… during the short walk…. I mean… short for me coz for her it must have been painful and crazily long haha:… she told me that she had just got back her stuff cuz the police had confiscated everything from them…. but she didn’t get her shoes back and had to walk all the way barefoot… hahaha poor girl…. she wanted to get in touch with the nature and got it…. all the spikes from the bushes got in touch with her feet´s flesh!! hahahahah (sorry… I could never miss the joke heheheh)

haha sweet… I kinda wrote loads and have many many new things that happened lately… will stop here because it is huge already hehe

talk to yous soon and enjoy your life beasts!! =)

Have a greeeeat day and smile wherever you are!!

kmoooon fiesta!!

Evan