#got my father into it too
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I Can’t Help But Wonder
Odysseus, who just violently and mercilessly murdered 108 or so men, who claims in the next song that he’s no longer a kind or gentle man, actively listens to Telemachus and kindly and gently responds to everything his son’s expressed.
Telemachus asks, “Am I like you? Am I strong like you? Will you embrace me? Will you love and accept me as yours?” He says, “I’ve felt so alone.”
And Odysseus claims him in a heartbeat, answering, “My son. My boy. My sweetest joy I’ve ever known. I embraced you twenty years ago. I’d do the impossible for you. I’d die for you.” He says, “Seeing the men here today, I can only wonder what you’ve been through for twenty years. My son, you’re already strong. You’re my own. You’re not alone. I’m home.”
And then they fucking embrace.
#don’t mind me I’m just over here sobbing#something something Odysseus being an attentive loving father drenched in blood#the way he literally responds to everything#he says ‘you are MY SON I’ve never stopped embracing you’#‘I may be deranged and unhinged after years of torment but I’ll be damned before I let you think you’ve ever been unloved by me’#the instrumentals reflect it too#Tele’s piano is hesitant and very faint during his part overwhelmed by Ody’s guitar#the moment ody starts singing the piano blends immediately#Ody’s got open arms for his son#epic the musical#epic#odysseus#epic odysseus#epic telemachus#telemachus#epic the Ithaca saga#the ithaca saga#ithaca saga
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okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.
like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).
but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.
im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.
#what the fuck.#unfortunately by the time i'd switched accounts (from personal to my poetry one)#i couldn't find it :(#this is why u SEND URSELF THE POST. WHICH I KNOW TO DO BUT!!!#i was so mad i just was like “i'm about to tear this commenter in twain” and . lost da post#if u urself are the 29 and got recently flamed by instagram#i love u. come here. write with me. i was about to pick up a sword for u.#i mean a BIGASS sword.#like we all know im a wlw girlie but the way ppl will be like ''id NEVER write sad poetry about a MAN not LOVING me!!!"#..... wowwwww ur so cool. anyway. people often experience emotions regardless of what u consider cringe.#& if ur gonna shame straight/bi women for feeling a certain way. hope u never write about the#weird relationship between u and ur father. or feeling different from ur brother.#or how ur male best friend fucked u over. since it's SO CRINGE. to have ANY feelings caused by a MAN#like be so for real. beloved. nobody is fucking saying this when men do it.#''oh it's cringe to like a woman or feel heartbroken by her.''#controlling women's feelings and actions???? it's more likely than u think.#btw op is nonbinary do NOT be gender essential on this post i'll kill u with my teeth#edit: btw for the person who dm'd me ''when is it misogyny and when is it actually valid''#pretty easy. if a man had done it#would it be cringe? . like if a man sang a sad song about ''she broke my damn heart''?#if he said ''i want to have kids with her'' or something sexually explicit?? like would u even LIKE IT if a male poet had said it?#& if it's like. nah a 35 yr old man being upset about this is cringe too. yeah it's just cringe. that exists. we both know it does.#but .... often i see this ONLY about women. and i can't help but hear like. how back in middle school#we were fed the lie ''girls mature faster.'' ... why do i have to be emotionally regulated? but if a man wrote about the same things?#..... idk . im pretty anti cringe culture to begin with. but this one feels so bad to me . ur still a person past 33.
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FNAF Into the pit? More like into the daddy issues
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#michael afton#pit bonnie#fnaf oswald#into the pit#fnaf sister location#william afton#SO THERES this concept I saw (and I also thought of) going around#and that’s the idea how pit Bonnie treats Oswald is similar to how William treated Michael#obviously not all the chasing and more spooky monster parts#but specifically a lot of the at home scenes#where pit Bonnie acts normalism almost like a stern father#I like this idea a lot it’s very interesting to think about#I can imagine Michael actually meeting the pit and being like yeah that’s like my dad#like that’s how he mostly remembers him too#it’s kinda funny and kinda sad#Oswald definitely just feel so lucky to have his dad#Oswald fr got the better end of the ‘fnaf parents’ stick 💀#love you Michael deserve so much more than you got 💜
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Hello ! I positively adore the running joke of Idia unknowingly finding Lilia to be the coolest guy ever whenever he doesn't know it's him, like when Silver described his father, or obviously with muscle red. I can't say what'd be funnier, Idia finding out his online best friend is actually Lilia, resident spooky hyper fairy; or them both never finding out, and it'd become even more ridiculous as time goes on. How do you think it'll play out ? You're always so on point
(Also, though it makes sense, I'm still devastated bat boy didn't get a ticket for the Halloween skeleton train : ( does anyone mentions him at some point ? Like how he'd have fit right in with all those Halloween town little freaks, and how he'd have impressed them with his spooks and scared techniques; after all he's been every Briar Valley's children worst fear on Halloween for centuries. I'm on the eng server and I didn't wanna spoil myself by watching the whole thing on youtube)
Have a nice day !
you and me both, Idia and Lilia being oblivious online BFFs (+ Idia being incredibly intimidated any time Silver brings up his jock gamer dad) is my favorite running joke/subplot. 🤝 it's SO good, to the point where I also am unsure if I actually want it to ever be resolved or not...maybe, like, as a post-canon stinger or something? everyone's standing around covered in overblot ink, and Idia and Lilia's phones go off at the same time...
(legit I do think this is part of why Idia couldn't be present for Lilia's dream, because for some reason Lilia decided he was going to just. embody his past self online. he probably quotes his own battle strategies or whatever in the middle of boss fights. Idia didn't pick up on the whole "oh how weird that we both live on a super remote island" thing, but he would spend thirty seconds listening to General Lilia describing siege warfare and be like "w-wait")
all that aside, however it does end up happening, I do see Lilia being very blasé and all "oh! cool!" about it. y'know, taking it very much in stride! and Idia...very much not.
(can't tell if tumblr is going to chew this into illegibility or not, this will be a fun surprise ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ)
as for Lilia sadly missing out on Halloweentown shenanigans...he does get one little mention as part of an offhand reference to the light music club, but so far no one has brought up how this basically is just Lost In the Book of Liliatown (Sebek's been too busy yelling about not getting to be in the same group as Malleus). 😔 honestly though, it's probably for the best that he got left out, because he would just settle right in and refuse to ever leave. canon would shatter. we would miss out on all the delightful angst of episode 7 because Lilia is too busy eating poisonous shrubbery inbetween practicing his very best screams, and no one can pull him away from it.
(I can hope for a sequel next year though...)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#gentle spoilers but y'know. just in case#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#most of the kitchen scene was jade messing with the firsties and that was so delightful that i didn't think til after#that you'd think sebek would have made some kind of reference to lilia 'i lost my tastebuds in the war' vanrouge's quote-unquote cooking#ah well. jade being mean is more than entertaining enough#looking forward to more of it tomorrow!#god. lilia and idia though.#lilia is like. genuinely idia's best friend and neither of them have any idea#and idia keeps doing that 'ha ha what if we were friends out of game too? what if we met offline? jk jk jk uNLESS...👉👈'#and then he immediately chickens out because he's so convinced that crimson will hate him if they ever met irl#(meanwhile lilia is just like 'my online bestie is so cool :) la la la')#they are both so stupid and i love them so much#i've just realized that i actually do want them to find out each other's identities#because idia doesn't just go to school with his online bff#he ALSO goes to school with his online bff's extremely supportive and extremely socially-inept kids#idia is going to get invited to dinner at diasomnia and it's going to be SO awkward#silver is going to give a long formal speech thanking him for being a stalwart comrade and trusted warrior brother to his father#as sebek stews in jealousy that idia got to fight by lilia-sama's side >:(#while idia sits there like 'all i did was link him a video about lane control for his character class'#malleus will make such an effort to learn literally anything about online gaming and he won't understand a word of it#it will be SUCH a disaster and i very much do want it now
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ranting for a bit because the entire scene where elphaba tells glinda her secret makes me go rabid and actually makes me want to chew concrete because not only is it actually absolutely heartbreaking to see just how deeply elphaba believes all the horrible things her father reinforces; how she thinks she's responsible for her mother's death and is the reason for nessarose's disability even when it's literally not her fault in any way and is actually DIRECTLY her father's fault.
and just the fact that elphaba tells glinda all this and tells glinda her father hates her and that everything's her fault and glinda looks at her and she's absolutely heartbroken to hear elphaba saying all these things and she becomes the first person in elphaba's life to look her in the eyes and tell her that none of that is true and that it is NOT her fault, it was NEVER her fault despite whatever anyone said.
ik a lot of ppl see glinda's "it was the milkflower's fault" line as a very sort of shallow take by glinda (I'm explaining it poorly but ik some ppl wonder why she didn't just call out governor thropp directly) but I've got to disagree with that take because personally I think glinda heard elphaba talking, heard her describe her secret and heard how her father forced her mother to chew milkflowers constantly during her pregnancy all because he was afraid the baby would come out green like elphaba and she heard all this and she hears how elphaba thinks this is all her fault.
and yk they're roommates. glinda sees the way elphaba talks about her father and how even though she says that he hates her in an almost casual manner despite how she says he's justified for hating her, elphaba still loves her father and she still wants to do right by him and she still wants him to love her.
so glinda knows that elphaba will not listen to her if she straight up tells her that her father's fucking mental and completely wrong and that it was all his fault and that she's probably going to bludgeon him to death. she knows that elphaba will never accept this and she knows that right now it won't do any good for anyone.
so instead she tells elphaba it was the milkflower's fault. and she looks her in the eyes and she tells her this was never your fault you shouldn't think this was ever your fault and anyone who ever told you that it was your fault was completely and totally wrong and I need you to know this.
because the primary concern isn't about telling elphaba she's got a shitty dad the primary concern is telling elphaba that it is not her fault for simply existing. and to let her know that there is nothing wrong with her and that there is someone here, right now, who loves and cares for her so so much and wants her to know that. that there is someone who will hold her hand and who will tell her that they are there for her and that she is fine the way she is. that she is loved.
#wicked 2024#wicked#CHOWDAH THINKING ABOUT GLINDA AND ELPHABA FOR TOO LONG GOT ME FEELIN UNWISE#honestly without kidding#major props to ariana grande and cynthia erivo's acting#the tiny details make everything honestly#like the changes in facial expression and the way their voices change and all#10/10 we love to see it#makes me go feral#i will actually never stop thinking about it#and will just go analyze this shit for the rest of my life#but it's fine it's fine#dw about it ill be fine#i have to go to bed#but what about my 40000 page essay on them yk#glinda upland#elphaba thropp#gelphie#i despise the thought that glinda's vapid and stupid honestly#because we are consistently shown that that is not the case#she may be airheaded at times and she is extremely privileged which leads to her being shallow at times#but she is NOT stupid or unaware#we are clearly shown how she notices things and picks up on things#and IK she very clearly sees the complicated relationship elphaba has with her father#and she sees how vulnerable elphaba is being with her#and she decides to reassure her#because that's what she NEEDS rn#but she is going to sneak out later and kill governor thropp#that is a side quest for later yk
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Been wanting to draw some fanart for Poor George MAP since it's my favorite one, and because it was its anniversary recently, I finally did it :>
ID: A digital drawing in two panels with characters from Warriors. In the panel above, there's Yellowfang watching Brokenkit play with a moss ball, she looks endearingly at the little kit; they're in a green environment and plants surround them. In the panel below, Yellowfang is in the same possition, looking down at an adult Brokenstar at her feet, already dead, she looks sorrowful. Fireheart is by her side, looking at her with compassion. They're at ThunderClan's medicine den.
#irbis draws#fanart#warrior cats#warriors#warrior cats fanart#yellowfang#brokenstar#fireheart#firestar#thunderclan#shadowclan#cw animal death#animal death#poor george map#i really love this map. it brought me to tears at the part where yellowfang decides to blind brokenstar but still sees her little kit in hi#i remember when i first watched it i was procrastinating a very complicated project#i'm working in a quite stressful project rn too but ive got more sense of things and im almost done with uni!!!#and its still my favorite. i had heard of it like a week before it released and already liked the song aaa#and then the whole pacing was just perfect#also the scene where brokentail kills his father felt so real. i could feel raggedstar's struggle to survive#woaaah#very amazing map#AND THE CREDITS SEQUENCE#im gonna turn this into a ted talk goodbye
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#lords here means those who have finished their homework; which is jack and sebek#twisted wonderland#twst#sebek zigvolt#ace trappola#twst yuu#twst mc#fanart#MATH SHOULDN'T BE THIS ROMANTIC#I was suddenly dropped with the news i need to do math 'BKSB' test near the future#and i was discussing math problems with my father because i am a stoopid adult growing out of my math now#and my father dropped this screenshot from insta short of a math account with simple to understand formula for fractions#AND I AM CRYING BCS WHY THERE'RE HEARTS IN THOSE#FHSDH i MEANT IT'S SMART#FOR IT TO BE EASY TO READ#AND EASY TO UNDERSTAND WITHOUT BOMBARDING MORE ARITHEMATIC SYMBOLS TO THE PICTURE#LIKE YES THIS NUMBER AND THIS NUMBER LOVE EACH OTHER THEY GOT MARRIED AND SO TOGETHER THEY BE--- WHAT NUMBER#FHSDH#anyhow if anybody knows do tell me if bksb test is hard or not#yuu is the type to finish their homework early but i guess the problem at nrc leave them too busy at times
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if I had a nickel for every time Alicent's family has called her a lesbian simp then I would have two nickels. it is not much but it is funny that it has happened twice
#house of the dragon#rhaenicent#alicent hightower#rhaenyra x alicent#otto hightower#aemond targaryen#she got called a SIMP by her own son and father#and that too TWICE#lol Alicent you ain't sly#hotd#hotd season 2#my posts
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universal healthcare is not broken and anyone trying to convince you it is is delusional and a dckrider for big health insurance. yes there are wait times but waiting for care is Not the same as being denied care.
in america your physician prescribes care and an insurer can still cuck you out of it because someone across the continent who has never met you can say: doesn’t seem medically necessary. Leaving you to handle a bill that is wildly inflated by the same insurers that just denied you.
let me drill it through your head you can pay thousands a year in premiums and still end up sick and financially burdened for years by One incident. no insurance company is Avoiding going broke by denying claims. theyre doing it to profit off your misfortune and your illness. Because healthcare fundamentally does not cost the amount that they claim it to be.
#delete later#out of pocket rant#i hate these god awful takes on universal health care#and i hate this oh he killed a father#how many fathers do you think uhc let die be real with me#oh 8 billion is only 6% profit margin#bitch it could be 2 percent it could be a negative loss#this is me saying oh i resold a shoe for $60 after buying it for $50 when i also made it for 80 cents#i have been denied things like chest xrays and lung exams#i btw have had a chronic cough for 4+ years#in canada i got this done on the same fking day and results back within a month#there are indeed horror stories and on both sides of know ppl who died due to delayed diagnosis#and ppl who died bc they didnt even want the diagnosis it would have cost them too much#but robbing someone of the choice in my opinion is the worse of the two#putting someone in an impossible position like that is evil#this country love god so much better start praying u stay healthy bc thats the most important thing#also like those horror stories of wait times in the er#im gonna be real if u have severe stomach pain are actively bleeding heart attack or stroke#you will be seen asap#yes if unfortunately everyone around u that day decided to have a stroke or heart attack ur appendicitis will be punted down the line#this is a resource issue NOT a cost issue#this is a they also cut funding to nursing school and limited the number of ppl who can pursue medical degrees issue#not a we dont have privatized health care issue#bc ultimately u need a doctor to see u#not someones sister who is taking stabs at it#and every doctor is bound by the concept of time???#u still have to wait in america ur Charged for it also#and yall it doesn’t even have to be a Big incident#ur local urgent care might just be closed after 8pm and at 9pm u need stitches#or have severe stomach pains and just want it checked
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He is so silly like jdydjyyjd
#waking in the morning to drink coffee from the trans mug#Teru and Tome got custom made trans mugs for reigen#and Teru wanted one too#father and son moment#teru and tome act like siblings in my mind#HAPPY PRIDE MONTH YAYYYY#TRANS TERU TRANS TERU#nothingbizzare art#mp100#mob psycho 100#mob psycho fanart#mp100 fanart#hanazawa teruki#teruki hanazawa
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I lied about only making one ship post :/
Thank you @im-totally-not-an-alien-2 your prompts fueled this one. Specifically this one.
Dead serious soulmate au but in separate universes.
In the DP universe soulmates are widespread with pretty much everyone having one. In the past soulmates were only seen as purely romantic and it was abhorrent if you didn't have one, rejected/cut off your soulmate or they died before you.
Soulmates still heavily impact DP universes present society but not in the same ways as before. Current day Soulmates can be platonic or romantic and while it wasn't as demonized as it was in the past cutting off a soulmate is still an incredibly taboo.There are different types of soulmates (ie the red string, skin writing, telepathy, shared sensation,..)
Danny shares pain with his soulmate. While he can't exactly communicate directly with his soulmate he has the ability to heal them a little through the bond. Danny's soulmate was always getting hurt somehow or another to the point he had an unnaturally high pain tolerance by the time he turned 14.
His soulmate hasn't ever healed him back and sometimes Danny forgot he existed at all. As a half ghost it was so much easier to heal his soulmate; with just a surge of energy he could completely heal any injuries his soulmate acquired and go back to whatever it was he was doing before his soulmate got hurt.
Danny was fine with forgetting his soulmate existed. Whoever was on the other end clearly didn't want anything to do with him considering they couldn't even pitch in to heal a papercut. He would still heal his soulmate when he needed it but he just gave up hoping for any kind of relationship with him.
On the DC side of things Soulmates are extremely rare and little to nothing is know about them. Damian of course is one of the very few people who had a soulmate; the small blue soulmark on his chest was proof of that. Damian's soulmark was ignored treated like it didn't exist at all until the day it started healing him.
Then his soulmate was his everything. His soulmate was someone he needed to protect with every fiber of his being and someone he desperately needed to find. Damian kept these beliefs even after he left the league and especially when his soulmates healing powers got stronger.
After years of searching the last place he expected to meet his soulmate was some dingy alleyway...
He could finally start courting him.
#I don't usually ship anything but#Them boys got my brain in a chokehold#dp x dc#dpxdc#deadserious#damian wayne x danny fenton#Clockwork dropped Danny into Dc. Danny proceeded to immediately get mugged#kinda yandere Damian#the batfam would prevent him from doing anything too drastic#Danny getting kidnapped and leaving with a ridiculous amount of money from his kidnapper's apologetic father: ??#call that reverse ransom
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‘tied by blood and yet, you are my greatest nemesis…’
#the valentinos#yall these actually. an old pics like. dang.#yall imagine these pics from last year. like I was at my peak w/o editing LIKE I WAS HAVING FUN AINT WASTIN TIME#this just teases cuz imma just dump them all on october IDC I LOVE THWEMMMM#if yall curious abt them I did have a three years ago a vampire family#and oooh boy they are evil. VERY evil#maybe only adam & vlad are not#the father name is vlad but trust he is not the famous vladdy daddy. there is lore behind it hehe#ahahahsh#bro just watch me dump all their pics here. ITS ALOT.#like literally I wont even care if nobody seen it I WILL PUBLISH THEIR PICS THEY HAVE TO PRINT WORLD W THEIR TOUCH#and im surprised the pics were nice? I didnt use SRWE that time only gshade and I was having fun#now look at me crying over SRWE because I relied on it too much. literally I got spoiled by its service#rip. I dont even plan to fix my SWRE if it WONT EVER open w gshade anymore#rando flovoid shit#thorn valentino#vladamir valentino#dawn gaffney#luther valentino#lilith valentino#ts4#sims 4#simblr#ts4 vampires
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it strikes me once again in episode 10 when crozier says that he "knows little's nature" and that he would be there with men and guns at day's end, he's absolutely right. he does know edward's nature. it's almost exactly what little said to rally the men, "we have hickey's camp outnumbered and outgunned." edward is ready to march all the men he can gather to rescue crozier, just as francis thought he would. what crozier doesn't know is le vesconte's nature. he doesn't know the nature of the men. he isn't aware that edward himself is being mutinied against because he's once again unable to see the similarities between himself and his second. because, just like in terror camp, he's placed expectations on edward without realising that the context in which edward is operating has very drastically changed. he's thinking of edward's loyalty but not edward's own duty to the men (a duty crozier shares!) and that edward's orders don't exist in a vacuum. it's just the debate about arming the men played out again but with debatably worse consequences
#and edward refuses to see the similarities between him and crozier as well!#he's blind to this mutiny playing out before him until it's far too late#he's failed to properly understand dundy like crozier once misunderstood jfj#and at this point they're both trapped by the men who they're duty-bound to lead#because so much resentment and mistrust has built up between them#and the degree of thawing keeps being frosted over again by more mistrust and failures of disclosure#their personalities are such that together they could lead so well#at the start of the expedition it's clear that they Do work well together!#but as the stakes got higher this trust soured. but it never disappeared.#so edward still dies at crozier's side. both of them having failed in their command#the toxic father-son relationship of my heart and soul#the terror#francis crozier#edward little#crolittle fatherson fail dynamic
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lovelovelove the helena/helly debate cuz i can fully see both sides. like, yeah, it makes sense that the lying, the insistence that innies and outies are two separate people, the reassurance that there are no cameras or microphones, the fumbling with the computer switch, and her hesitation/confusion when mark hugs her would all be helena trying to fit in and have them trust her so she can find out anything else lumon doesnt already know about. on the other hand i can totally see helly being absolutely devastated to find out that she’s the cause of her suffering in an even more involved way than all the others and wanting to hide that fact. her family built lumon from the ground up, her father is the one who came up with the severance procedure, and helly herself encourages others to become severed. it must be soul crushing to learn that You and your whole family are the cause of your suffering AND your friends suffering. it would make sense for helly to being acting strange because of that revelation and it makes sense that she would want to see outies and innies as two entirely separate people. its just very neat i like it a lot its very fun to me :3
#like if its helly she must be feel All sorts of things rn#and i can totally see her lying because she doesnt want her friends to know that Shes the reason they’re all trapped here#but itd also make sense for it to be helena i mean she literally got the severance procedure done to make her father happy#it wouldnt be too wild for her to go down to the severed floor as herself to see if the innies are causing more problems#i like helly a lot shes one of my fav characters (i think her and ms cobel share the number one spot honestly)#helly r#helena eagan#severance#severance spoilers#morty talks woah
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GILMORE GIRLS | 3.21 "Here Comes the Son"
Requested by @jess-stolengnome
#requests#jimmy mariano#jess mariano#gilmore girls#milo ventimiglia#jessmarianoedit#gilmoregirlsedit#tvedit#dailyflicks#my gifs#*#thanks for the request @jess-stolengnome <3#having to beg your own father for a place to stay — especially after you’ve made it clear you have nowhere else to go — is just too much#I’m glad he got a good ending cause he deserved it!!
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Did another oopsie and accidentally deleted another ask (*bangs head on table*) BUT HOPEFULLY THE LOVELY ANON WHO SENT IT SEES THIS!!
DADZONE & Child! Reader: John Dory
Includes: GN! Reader, Child! Reader, Adopted! Reader, accidental DILF John Dory, slight angst
TW: mention of spiders and body horror near the end (nothing too graphic but just in case)
🥽 This man doesn't trust himself enough not to fuck up another meaningful relationship ://
🥽 Personally, how I see it, becoming a father is probably the last thing on JD's to-do list. I mean he's definitely got the skills (being the oldest of five and having to raise his brothers means he's picked up a few things), and I like to think that it's something he longs for deep down, but considering how BADLY he fumbled with his brothers the last time they were all in the same room...
🥽 So yeah. In theory would be SO down to start a family of his own, but in practice?? He is EXTREMELY hesitant
🥽 THAT BEING SAID!! Chances are he probably found you as an egg
🥽 He was out one day, hiking out in the forest or exploring coastal coves or rock climbing, when all of a sudden he just… stumbles across an egg. Just sitting there in a patch of moss or nestled into a log
🥽 Ends up taking the egg with him back to Ronda, but not before an actual HOUR of confused staring? Distressed pacing back and forth?? Panicked rambling all the while???
🥽 (the fact that Ronda tried to eat the egg upon his return doesn't help at all)
🥽 John Dory spends the next month or so visiting nearby troll villages and asking anyone who crosses his path "Hey man did you drop this? 😬"
🥽 In the end he decides to take you in himself. Partly because he's gotten tired of all the looks other trolls keep giving him for trying to force an egg into their hands, and also because he… may have grown attached to said egg in the past few weeks. I mean by the end of day 3 he'd already given you a name so you know he's screwed ahsjkakaa
🥽 He tells himself he's taking you in because it's what any good citizen would do (He is a lair. He is 100% doing it for himself)
🥽 The day you hatch is LITERALLY one of the best days of his life? Like he's just making himself some dinner and suddenly he hears crackling coming from his hair?? And then there's babbling???
🥽 This man is going about his day with you nestled in his hair (basically the troll equivalent to carrying a baby on your hip lol). He's choppin trees, foraging for food, and driving his armadillo van all while he's got an actual egg sitting on his head. Absolutely talks to you the whole time, too. He has no idea if you can actually hear him but like.. this man spent the last 20 years all alone in the woods, okay, his ass is lonely :((
🥽 Yknow that thing parents do where they hold up headphones to a woman's womb and play Mozart or whatever to make the baby "smarter" or some shit?? Yeah that's JD. He's doing the same thing to his egg
🥽 no Mozart tho ONLY BROZONE 😤😤 HIS BABY HAS GOTTA HAVE GOOD TASTE AND NOTHING LESS
🥽 If he's really feeling himself then he'll sing the songs himself. And then proceed to give unprompted lore behind the lyrics and the songs "true meaning" (songs include Brozone classics such as Baby Boy Got My Heart In A Headlock Boy and Baby Baby Love You Like A Pizza But Hate You Like There's Pineapple On It Babe)
🥽 "holy crap YOU'RE SO SMALL—"
🥽 UGLY CRYING HOLDING YOU IN THE CROOK OF HIS ARM CARESSING YOUR SOFT LITTLE FACE WITH HIS FINGER
🥽 Will die if you reach for him with your tiny baby hands or just smile up at him
🥽 He's still gonna carry you around in his hair while he goes about his day and stuff ngl. Like for him, it's a signature of your guys' bond and you bet your ass he's gonna be milking it for as long as he can (definitely dreads the day you become too big/old for it)
🥽 Most definitely tries to teach you survival skills as soon as possible. He's teaching you how to fish, he's demonstrating how to start a fire with the bare essentials, he's letting you DRIVE RONDA—
🥽 "It's an important skill to have, champ, trust me!"
"...but I'm only five."
"Never too early for a learner's permit!"
🥽 Defnitely tries to reel in that controlling/perfectionist mindset of his, at least for your sake. The last thing he wants is a repeat of what went down with his brothers. As a result he's probably more lenient when you get into trouble or do something wrong
🥽 Fr tho like... you'll accidentally(?) cause an explosion and his ass will be standing, hands on his hips like "I'm not mad, just disappointed 🤨"
🥽 You thought you were getting spoon fed Brozone content as an egg?? Well congrats on being born cuz now you're getting served Brozone content for BREAKFAST 👏 DINNER 👏 AND 👏 LUNCH
🥽 JDs most definitely the type of guy to break into song whenever he's doing the most mundane of tasks (laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc), and yes he fully expects you to join in and know all the lyrics helloooo?? You've basically been raised on Brozone songs at this point like cmon, don't leave him hanging!
🥽 FR THO!! If you grow up to be a Brozone stan, he's never gonna be more proud of himself <33
🥽 This man definitely has a physical collection of every song/album/cover his band has ever done (I'm mean this is the same guy who kept his brothers underwear in a frame for 20 years so ://). He treats every CD, record, cassette tape, etc. like the priceless artifacts they are and YES, HES GONNA PASS THEM ONTO YOU LIKE THEYR FAMILIY HEIRLOOMS DID YOU EXPECT ANY LESS
🥽 If you grow up to lean more towards a different genre of music or Brozone just doesn't end up being your cup of tea... JDs gonna be a lil devastating ngl
🥽 Pls assure him that he has not failed as a father
🥽 Jokes aside tho! I feel like despite his wounded ego, JD will at least TRY to see your point of view. I mean he's definitely gonna be a bit of a grandpa about it—
*while the two of you are listening to your favorite song*
"I mean, I GUESS it's okay... not nearly as lyrically genius as Brozone's hit single: Baby Girl Ur Sweet Like A Milkshake Girl But I'm Lactose Intolerant Baby 🙄"
"Dad. Please shut up."
—but rest assured that he WILL support you and your music taste <33
🥽 You want merch of your favorite band/artist? No worries he's (stealing it right off the shelf) got money to pay for it! Is there a new album about to drop? He's (breaking into a store in the middle of night like a rabid racoon) patiently waiting in line just to buy it for you! You wanna go to a concert? He's using Ronda to (break speed limits, run people over, disobey every known traffic rule) get good parking at the venue!!
🥽 SPEAKING OF CONCERTS!! I feel like he'd be able to offer solid advice on the do's and don'ts of attending a concert. Like... my guy was in a popular band back in the day and he knows first hand how outta hand concerts can get. He has SEEN some shit ajskskaka
🥽 JD definitely has a photo album full of pictures from back in the day. Some of them are snapshots of him and the rest of Brozone, but a majority of the pictures are just of him and his family— away from the stage and cameras. Just him and his brothers and grandma Rosiepuff too...
🥽 He remembers the exact moment every picture was taken, and he'll tell you every bit of context. Birthday, pranks gone wrong, holidays, first day of school— there's a snapshot for just about every milestone. All you have to do is ask and JD is more than happy to relay every childhood anecdote he can remember
🥽 It gets to the point where you eventually know just about everything about your uncles... WHO YOU HAVE NEVER EVEN MET YET AKSKSKAKAK
🥽 It's definitely something that freaks them out once you finally DO meet them
🥽 Like you'll have a conversation with Clay and they'll be like "yeah I'm not a big fan of spiders haha" and you just go "Oh that makes sense considering you used to have vivid nightmares about them crawling under your skin and tickling you to death" and Clay's just like "how the fuck did you know that????"
🥽 "Dude stop telling your kid everything about us"
"I haven't seen you guys in 20 years! I just wanted them to feel close to their uncles ;(("
"THEY DONT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT HOW I USED TO PICK MY NOSE WHEN I WAS SEVEN"
🥽 John Dory, Older Brother Who Overshares About His Younger Siblings my beloved <33
Ermmm yeahhhh this was originally gonna be one big post including ALL the brothers... but then I started writing for JD and got carries away... so yeah this ask is gonna have to be a multi-parter AJSJSJAKKA SORRY ANON I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF 🤥
NEXT PARTS ARE IN THE WORKS!!
Bruce | Clay | Floyd | Branch
#I am also an older sibling who overshares about my younger siblings!#im very embarrassing to be around i can assure you <33#out of all the Brozone members John Dory is the most likely to adopt a random child off the side of the road#AND I WILL STAND BY THAT TILL THE GRAVE#hes giving me “finds a puppy/kitten in a cardboard box in an alley and immediately takes it home” energy#the mans already got an armadillo bus thing. why not a kid too?#WAHH WAIT WAIT#Reader finds JD in a cardboard box and ADOPTS HIM AS THEIR FATHER FIGURE???#AJSJAKAKAKA#*pockets idea for later use*#trolls#trolls band together#brozone#trolls john dory#bruce trolls#trolls clay#trolls x reader#x reader#brozone x reader#ask
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