#got home early from my cousin's birthday party which means that i get to post this at the time i usually post :]

[1craig2craig]

Dialtown as MTMTE panels (part 8)

References under the cut

[marauderspog]

I could go with knowing Regulus' birthday tho. Trying to make it up with astrology and funky number pseudoscience is fun but you know. :D

There’s a lot of dates for his birthday in the fandom so I thought I’d take a stab at working it out.

His birthday has to be between September 1960 and August 1961 to work with him being canonically a year below the Marauders.

Regulus Black - Birthday Headcanons

WARNING: I KNOW NOTHING OF ASTRONOMY, ASTROLOGY OR ANY OTHER STAR RELATED THING. I KNOW MATHS , LOGIC AND MARAUDERS HEADCANONS THO, SO LETS GO

~ 1st September 1960 ~

Young Regulus and Sirius being annoyed that Reggie is only just in the year below

‘Mother, can’t Reggie just come to school early?’

Sirius really did not want to go to Hogwarts on his first day, because it would mean leaving Reggie alone on his birthday

They both got up really early to sneak outside, look at the stars and let Reggie open his present

Later that day, it was just him and Kreacher so they had a little tea party to celebrate not that his parents would ever acknowledge his birthday

Birthday party on the Hogwarts Express every year after that

~ 26th September 1960 ~

Regulus is the heart of the lion headcanon one!

His birthday is half a year away from James, and James will never let him live it down

‘Sorry babe, you can drink when your older’

‘I’m only fucking 6 months younger than you, and bloody taller, you prick’

One of the oldest in his year and basically a parent to the younger years, and helping calm them down when some older years pick on them

~ 25th December 1960 ~

His parents celebrate neither his birthday nor Christmas so it was just the Black cousins and Kreacher celebrating on that day when they were younger

When Hogwarts came around, the Marauders found about Regulus’ birthday around fifth year, cut to all of them staying at school over the Christmas break that year

The Great Hall was decorated with tinsel and a birthday banner, and Reggie almost broke into tears

Started calling it ‘Regmas’ as a joke, but it stuck

Reggie finally got to experience both a Christmas and a birthday and he couldn’t be happier

The next year, there was some presents from certain Hogwarts professors besides the familiar wrapping of Reggie’s favourite house elf

All house elves are invited to the birthday party

James kept making mistletoe jokes until the girls trick him into getting under it with Reggie, let’s just say they were blushing for hours after

~ 31st December 1960 ~

Born at around 11PM on the 31st so he’s barely born in 1960

Attends a Marauders New Year party during his fifth year and keeps smiling to himself because it’s the first birthday he’s been with more than two people

Sirius gets drunk and tells everyone how happy he is that his baby brother is growing up

Drunk Marauders sing Harry Birthday and Reggie almost cries of happiness

So many party games, including truth or dare where James ends up confessing

‘Prongs, kiss the hottest person in the room’

‘Sirius...’

‘I’m flattered, but I love Moony’

‘Ew, no mate, no offence, but I was gonna ask if you’d kill me if I kissed Reggie?’

‘Oh go ahead- WAIT, REGGIE?! THAT’S MY BABY BROTHER!’

‘Ignore him, please go ahead, love’

~ 28th February 1961 ~

Wanted it to be 29th of February but sadly 1961 is not a leap year, so this is an adapted version of that idea

Reggie being born at midnight on the 28th, so him and Sirius can never work out when to celebrate

On leap years, they’re so fucking confused about when to celebrate since they barely ever are allowed to celebrate at home

Reggie just pretends that his birthday has already gone when anyone asks to save them the trouble

Even when they weren’t speaking, Sirius makes sure to send a letter to Reggie at midnight on the 1st, to remind his brother that he’s always there

Most years Reggie just sneaks out of his dorm on his birthday to hang out with the house elves at midnight

One time he bumped into James, so it became a tradition for them to spend the night laughing and chatting in the kitchen or library

James just likes seeing Reggie comfortable and happy

~ 27th March 1961 ~

Regulus is the heart of the lion headcanon 2!

Birthday is the same day as James’

Sirius makes jokes that his two second favourite people share a birthday (the first is obviously Remus)

James and Reggie alternate what they do on their birthday, but usually end the day cuddled up on James’ bed talking about quidditch

After James graduates, Regulus is invited round for their birthday (as well as all their friends obviously)

Euphemia and Fleamont absolutely love Reggie, they buy him presents and invite him to come over more often after telling him many embarrassing stories about James while James blushes

~ Any Date in May 2061 ~

According to things I’ve seen please don’t quote me on this Regulus is most visible in May

Birthday stargazing with James using cheesy lines and Regulus reciting facts he was taught as a kid as they cuddle under a blanket

Birthday dates to Hogsmead with James, getting many sweets to share in the library later that day

Birthday quidditch matches where James promises not to go easy on Reggie and fucking panics one year when Reggie falls off his broom and ends up in the hospital wing

James just freaks out and refused to leave Reggie’s side, even after being told everything was fine

James and their friends end up bringing duvets and pillows down so they don’t have to leave Reggie alone

Remus and Lily find a spell to project muggle films on the wall for all of them to watch Regulus, Sirius and Mel are fascinated

~ 31st August 1961 ~

No one knowing when Regulus’ birthday is because it’s already happened the day before they go back to school

James is outraged when he finds out that the Marauders have never been able to celebrate his birthday in school

So they start making the first day of school Reggie’s honorary birthday with a giant sleepover in the Gryffindor common room

So many baby Black jokes, which Reggie fucking hates

‘Sirius I’m fucking taller than you, if anyone’s the baby it’s you’

First time they celebrate his birthday outside of school, James takes him to see a quidditch match, then to the local pub to see the rest of their friends, and finally back to their flat for Reggie to read the books he got for his birthday

~ Literally Any Date From September 1st to August 31st ~

I tried to find a correlation between November 3rd (Sirius’ birthday) and the Sirius star

Couldn’t really find anything (again I don’t know astronomy so please feel free to prove me wrong if you do!)

Only thing I saw was that Sirius is apparently more visible in Winter, but November is technically in Autumn so wasn’t really anything with that

By that logic, She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named could have made his birthday any date with no reasoning but we’re not gonna accept that

So any date for his birthday is acceptable!

SPEECH - SIRIUS, JAMES, REGULUS

Feel free to comment which birthday you prefer, even if it isn’t one listened! And sorry if I got some astronomy things wrong, please correct me if I’m wrong and I will happily edit this post accordingly!

[claybefree]

Seeing as it's the twentieth anniversary, I guess I should post this again

September Third, Two Thousand and Nine

For years whenever anyone asked me when my son Henry was born I’d start to say September instead of August 25, 2001. Sunday he had his eighth birthday party at his mother’s house, and I stayed here. Most of his mother’s friends don’t care for me much. The feeling is mutual. Tonight coming home from work I started stitching what I’m about to write together in my mind and suddenly got very afraid. I thought for a moment that I was about to go get drunk, which might very likely be death for somebody like me. I was sure I was going to change direction of the truck, that I’d drive the same route I always did back then, that I would stand by the register and stare at the bottle in my hand without really knowing I where I was. I think it has to do with the weather finally changing and perhaps that Henry’s mom and I are no longer together. I sat on the porch of my little house and called a friend and told him all this. He listened and after a while I felt better, which is exactly how these things should go. When we decided we were done he told me I should go in and write all this down.

I worked on through that whole day. Most everybody else on the job had stopped and listened to each of the radios on the different floors or cried. The asshole Turks I was framing a bathroom for wouldn’t let me quit. They had tile to run. I found it made me feel better to keep going anyway. The laborers cussed me when I asked them to move so that I could use the table saw, a natural gathering spot on any job. They seemed to think I was calloused or hard-hearted and it was because I was from Tennessee. It just now occurred to me that maybe they were right.

That afternoon, when it was determined safe to walk across the bridges, most of the job, the other carpenters and trades-people, wandered home to Brooklyn or Queens. Me and the two left to close everything up had it different as we lived in Jersey. Anthony, the boss, was big and red-haired, red faced and lived in Hoboken. Duane was in charge of demolition and waste, was a little shorter and darker, and lived in Secaucus or maybe somewhere west of that I think. They squared off on each other frequently. It always reminded me of two walruses going at it on a beach.

Whenever we went out to the bar afterwards Anthony would have a Bud tall boy in each hand at all times, the waitress would come up with four for him whenever we sat down. On the job we liked to yell at each other, I once told him I was doing him a favor by giving him such an easy target, and he never missed an occasion to oblige me. Duane was a single dad, dark haired with deep sunken yet kind eyes that always seemed to have bags under them. One of the black laborers told him once he was the most Uncle Fester looking motherfucker he had ever seen. I tended to agree.

We locked the job up at four I think, humped it across the park through the smoke to the A-train. There was smoke forming a mist around the trees of central park that day. There were no flower children loitering at Yoko’s “Imagine” monument to barge through. Our thinking was to get downtown to the Path train. We had no idea that two of the stations had been destroyed. It didn’t matter, we were underground fifteen minutes before Anthony vetoed the idea. People were running wild through the stations, on the trains, everything was panic and Oh Fuck and Anthony had no intention of being underground. He had a funny look on his face that I couldn’t figure out. It wouldn't occur to me until later that the big man was very afraid.

In the years since I have always wondered why people have reacted so strongly from that day. Later we would go to war because of a something that happened one day in New York City and this has always seemed really strange to me. I guess what I mean is that I was there and never wanted to kill anybody because of it. Most of the time I just thought it was very strange and sad and mostly just very interesting. I only remember ever crying about it twice. The first time was a few months afterward, I had quit Anthony to stay home with Henry. Part of our routine was to watch Sesame Street. One day in the winter there was a skit where Elmo got very scared because of some smoke and noise that was never identified. I suppose in this case it was a nameless fear. A New York City fireman came on screen and hugged him, told him it was okay to be scared, Elmo, and that everything would be alright. I remember little red furry Elmo hugged the fireman tight. I held Henry in my lap and cried into his fine blonde hair.

It was the fireman that did it. I still get upset when I think about the firemen. I have had a lot of trouble with cops in different times in my life, but I never had a problem with any fireman I ever encountered, drunk or otherwise. They seem to me to be a different animal entirely.

Anthony, Duane and me ran into two firemen on the deck of the cruise boat that carried us across to Weehawken. They came in and collapsed on the painted metal floor, shedding boots and letting their helmets roll away. Some people applauded weakly, others asked questions, they just stared at us and said nothing. It didn’t occur to me until much later they were probably the only ones from their station who lived. Other men that for years they worked with, ate and fought with, got drunk with were dead. There was a bar I frequented in Jersey City a few blocks from our house where a couple of weeks later I saw three firemen in dress uniforms. One was between his partner on a stool and the third who was older and may have been a captain. The captain was clearly upset, swaggering and poking the other two in the chest. Everybody else was trying hard not to pay attention to what seemed about to develop into a fight. I think later I saw the old man leaning against the bar and weeping openly, he must have been sixty at least.

I got drunk in this bar Sept. 10th while my wife and kid slept back home. She’d start nursing and pass out with him and I’d head out to roam. The thing I liked about this place was the Sinatra on the jukebox, so that night I loaded it up and sat at the bar listening. I think it was the first time I’d ever heard “Summer Wind.” The tattooed brunette tending bar must have thought it was cute because she serenaded me, singing along with a couple of the songs. There was another man with a mustache further down the line who was putting the blast on her and didn’t seem to like me much so I got the fuck out early. By “early” I mean I didn’t close the place.

I won’t tell you what we saw on the boat ride across the Hudson, you’ve seen it already. We unloaded at Weehawken and everyone, thousands of high end refugees really, started walking south towards Hoboken where we had been told there were buses waiting to take us home. I noticed that even wearing boots, the three of us walked faster than the others. We were construction workers living and working around Manhattan and we were very good at walking. I remember being comforted by walking with them. Hundreds of buses lined the streets of Hoboken and the three of us walked the length of that town. Anthony broke off about halfway to head home. A couple of weeks later I showed up having laid out drunk for two days and told him I had come for my tools. He looked at me and didn’t say a word. He mailed me my check. I haven’t seen the man since.

Duane and me trudged the rest of Hoboken together. I heard that not soon after I left he was let go to cut costs and that not long after that he got into a bad time with a prostitute on rt. 1 & 9. The smoke in Hoboken was thicker than in the city and the fumes from streets filled with idling buses finally got my hangover to officially kick in. I told Duane about how I’d had “Summer Wind” playing as background music in my head all day. He laughed and began singing the song, each line perfectly. We got through the crowd easily, after hours of walking together we had finally hit a stride together. We were marching, really. There was the giant blue sky of the day broken intermittently by smoke and there was the roar of diesel noise and Hoboken and Duane singing Summer Wind to me; some punk kid from Tennessee who had no business being there.

The only other incident I remember having to cry because of some assholes who decided to fly planes into tall buildings was coming across the Manhattan bridge one night after carrying my sister-in-law home to Park Slope. She would come over most nights to hang out with the baby, and around eleven or so and in various states of sobriety I’d be asked to drive her back home. I never hated the terrorists for invoking a War of Terror, I hated them for causing enough terror that it fucked the roads up. Shit got closed for what seemed no fucking reason whatsoever. One day coming back from the pediatrician’s office, Henry got stuck howling in his car seat for four hours because the Holland Tunnel was handling too much traffic and we were too afraid to take him out of it because of the cops everywhere. My sister-in-law and I spent a lot of time in the Saturn together on the nights I drove her home. I can’t remember what we talked about, probably everything. I haven't spoken to my sister-in-law since I moved out last summer.

This particular night the Brooklyn Bridge was only operating east-bound into Brooklyn so after I dropped her off I was diverted back across the Manhattan Bridge in order to get back into the city and eventually home. The Manhattan Bridge back then was still under renovation and I guess has always been the ugly, cross-eyed cousin of the Brooklyn Bridge. I got stuck on it, moving slower than shit, and staring at trash and old faded plywood encasing the little bit of wrought iron and Neo-Classical elements that were left up by the arch. Off to the left t seemed as though the entirety of Downtown was illuminated from the work lights that were set up down by Ground Zero. Downtown glowed with lights that were set up to look for people that weren’t there anymore. The DJ on WFMU that night was playing a super slowed down cover of the B-52’s Song for a Future Generation. If you’ve heard it, you’ve probably laughed, it’s a ridiculously chirpy pop song. I’ve always loved it. The lyrics go a little like this:

Wanna be the ruler of the galaxy

Wanna be the king of the universe

Let`s meet and have a baby now

In between each stanza, the different members give spoken-word tidbits of information about themselves. For example Ricky, the original guitarist, was a Pisces and “loved computers and hot tamales.“ Ricky also died from AIDS back in 1985 when people still had no idea what the disease was.

The version I heard that night had slowed the tempo to that of a blues song. The dip-shit ironic hipster that sang it reflected this. Stuck on the bridge it felt as though I was listening to a lament. What reduced me to tears, smoking Winstons in my little Saturn station wagon, was the feeling that whatever was left of innocence had recently been or was about to be brutally murdered by pig-face, ignorant men. Wanna be the first lady of infinity. Wanna be the nicest guy on earth. Let's meet and have a baby now.

[hobeymakar]

Unapologetically | C. Makar Part 1

Chapter word count: 3,526

A/N: Title from the song Unapologetically by Kelsea Ballerini. This is my first chaptered fic in a long time and my first written on here, so please be kind. This fic is based off a set of very vivid reoccurring dreams I’ve had over the last couple of months that involve Cale and like the true psycho I am, I wrote the big things that happened in those dreams down. Then I decided recently to just turn it to a fic, so this is pretty self-indulgent. Is it possibly narcissistic of me to write a fic about me? Maybe, but I’m gonna write it anyway. This first chapter is gonna be a lil boring and weird because it has a lot of time skips but Chapter 2 will be much more exciting and way better

Shoutouts: @pizzasloot and @hockey-and-wine for being my biggest cheerleaders for writing for this fic in the gc and also shoutout to @grenawitka​ for always keeping the gc lit. I love you girls!

Warnings: explicit language, alcohol use

-

Tatyana “Taty” Marie Ventura or “Ace” as she is now being known as, never thought that when she started a podcast in the comfort of her Rhode Island home, that she would kind of blow up. Taty started the Ace of Hockey podcast because she wanted a career in hockey media and wanted to do it her way, being unapologetically herself. She started the podcast and started messaging hockey players and other athletes in hopes that they would come onto the podcast to talk about diversity and inclusion in the sport.

That’s how she finds herself on an early October evening receiving a message from Cale Makar on how he’s a fan of the podcast. She internally screams because she never thought an actual hockey player would listen to the podcast. She assumed only hockey fans would listen to the podcast and that it would never reach the notoriety of other hockey podcasts.

From: calemakar_

Hey, just wanted to say that I’m a big fan of your podcast. Buddy of mine showed it to me and I think it’s fantastic. It’s helping me learn how to be a better ally

To: calemakar_

Thank you so much, that means a lot honestly!

From: calemakar_

You’re welcome. I’ve been showing it to the team and they think it’s great for them to learn how to be better allies

To: calemakar_

Wow, that means so much! I just want people to know that hockey is great but it would be so much better if it became inclusive to everyone regardless of sex, gender, race, ethnicity, religion, etc. I just want hockey to really be for everyone

From: calemakar_

That's what we all want. We don't want anyone to feel like they can't play or enjoy hockey because of who they are

She doesn't know how to keep the conversation because she's awkward and just lets the dm sit there. She turns her attention to the latest hockey news and figuring out who's gonna be her next guest for the podcast.

A few hours later, she sees a follow request on her personal IG account and not the podcast account. She sees it's from Cale and is confused on why he would want to follow her personal account. She barely posts stuff about the podcast on there and uses it more to keep up with family with the occasional posts promoting the podcast and the guests. She accepts the request and doesn't think anything of it.

A few days later, she notices that he's been liking her posts and viewing her stories. He's been seeing her interact with family and friends and she still doesn't understand why he cares enough to keep up with her personal account. It starts becoming weird when he adds her on snapchat.

She sends him a dm on instagram to make sure it's actually him and not someone pretending to be him.

To: calemakar_

This might sound totally weird but did you just add me on snapchat?

From: calemakar_

Yeah I'm sorry. Josty thought it would be funny to hijack my phone and add you

To: calemakar_

No need to apologize, I just wanted to make sure it was actually you and not someone trying to be you to catfish girls

From: calemakar_

Yeah no, definitely my account

She accepts him as a friend on Snapchat and sends him a message.

To: Cale Makar

Hope it's okay I added you back

From: Cale Makar

Yeah, that's cool. You didn't have to tho. Don't want you to feel like you had to

To: Cale Makar

Trust me I added you back because I wanted to. I don't just accept anybody

She hits send before she can even think twice about it but then she reads it back and wants the ground to swallow her whole. She panics as she watches the delivered turn into a read and the little bubbles show up saying he's typing. It feels like forever before Cale sends a response back.

From: Cale Makar

Well I'm glad you didn't add me back out of pity

She doesn't know how to respond to that right away so she opens up other messages and posts updates on her work on her story. She goes back to the messages and starts typing a response, not wanting to leave him on read forever.

To: Cale Makar

Why would anybody do that?

She exits out of it and hopes that her attempts at extending a conversation aren't met with disappointment.

From: Cale Makar

I admit you got me there

To: Cale Makar

I get people to say that a lot

From: Cale Makar

Never picked you as the type to brag

To: Cale Makar

There's a lot of layers to me and a lot of things you don't know about me

From: Cale Makar

Well I hope I get to know more about you

She blinks multiple times not knowing if the message was actually real. After blinking several times, she realizes the message was real and she lets out a squeal. Is he actually flirting with her? She pinches herself because she must be dreaming. There's no way her favorite hockey player and crush is flirting with her. Shit like that doesn't happen to her! She has zero game and has been on a grand total of zero dates in her life. She has had zero boyfriends and girlfriends in her life, so this is something brand new for her.

Maybe she's reading it wrong? Maybe he's just being polite and isn't actually flirting. She decides it's better not to stress it and just go with the flow. 

That's how she approaches the next couple of weeks with her pumping out content for her podcast, working her actual day job, and working on her social media game for the podcast. She also dms tons of people she sees as potential guests on the podcast. 

Her conversations with Cale become more frequent as she eventually finds herself sending him snaps daily. He actually feels comfortable enough to comment on her posts on her personal IG page now and she honestly doesn't know how this is all even real.

Like before she's not stressing it and is going with the flow. However, on the day of Cale's 22nd birthday, she gets hit with a message that causes her to freak out a little.

From: Cale Makar

Hey, is it cool if I got your number? It's much easier if I can just text you. I like you and want to keep getting to know you more

She hyperventilates because she has never had another human being shoe this much interest in her, her whole life. She pinches herself to make sure it's real and it really is real. Cale Makar actually asked for her number. She doesn't know if she should be jumping for joy or preparing for something to go wrong. This is completely uncharted waters for her and she doesn't know if she should go with her heart or her mind. Her mind is telling her not to do it, but her heart is telling her to do it. After a minute, she decides to go with her heart.

To: Cale Makar

Yeah, that's totally cool! (xxx-xxx-xxxx)

She sees a text from an unknown number a minute later pop up on her phone

From: xxx-xxx-xxxx

Hey, it's Cale

She saves the number under the name "Cale 🥰" and types out a response

To: Cale 🥰

Hey, happy birthday btw! Hope you're having fun!

From: Cale 🥰

Thank you I'm in Calgary rn with my family

To: Cale 🥰

Glad you're having fun with them

From: Cale 🥰

Thank you it's good to be back home

To: Cale 🥰

I can imagine! I'll let you get back to your family

She focuses on getting ready for Halloween, which also happens to be her sister's birthday. Her sister is turning 21 this year and she wants to make the most of it, even in the midst of a pandemic. They plan on going to Salem, Massachusetts with family and throwing a little party at a cousin's house in Brookline, Massachusetts. She sees Cale post pictures and videos on his Snapchat story of him and his family celebrating his birthday. She sees all his teammates wishing him a happy birthday on Instagram and Twitter.

As she’s getting ready to go to bed that night, she gets a video call from Cale.

“Hello?” she asks, not knowing why he would be calling her.

“Ace!” he shouts, causing her to cringe slightly.

“How’s your birthday going?” she asks.

“Great! I’m with my brother and some buddies from back home! We got a bonfire going on right now!” he explains, showing off the fire and his brother and friends.

She wants the ground to swallow her whole because she looks absolutely disgusting with her hair tied up in a bun, and old URI sweatpants and an URI sweatshirt on. She has no makeup on and she’s pretty sure she has some acne on her face.

“Hey Ace! I’m Taylor, Cale’s brother!” Taylor shouts in excitement.

She can clearly tell that he’s buzzed, as well as Cale.

“Hey Taylor,” she smiles, waving at him politely.

His buddies also introduce themselves and she can tell that they’re also slightly buzzed. A part of her hopes that they aren’t driving and are gonna make it back home safely whether tonight or the following day.

“You should come!” one of his friends suggests.

“I’d love to but I live in America and the border is still closed,” she replies, feeling slightly awkward.

“It’s a shame! I know Cale really misses his girl right now!” another friend chimes in, causing her to almost choke on her wine.

“I’m not his-”

“He won’t stop talking about you! He’s got it bad for you!” another friend adds, causing her to blush even more.

If the ground would swallow her up right now, that would be amazing because she can't believe the shit that she’s hearing right now. She doesn’t know if it’s the alcohol that has his friends saying that but a part of her wishes it’s true. God, a part of her wants him to want her because she definitely likes him. She likes everything about him but she’s too much of a loser to put herself out there more. So she just lets him do all the talking and flirting because once again, she has no game.

“Shut up Taylor!” Cale cries out, shoving his brother lightly.

“Well you seem to be having a fun time with your friends,” she says, not wanting to bring up anything that was said about his feelings for her. 

“It would be better if you were here,” he adds, his voice dropping slightly in volume.

“Yeah, well maybe we’ll meet one day,” she adds, not wanting to sound desperate to meet him or anything.

“When I get back to the States, I’ll make that a reality,” he replies, sounding sincere for being slightly intoxicated.

She’s reminded of the saying that drunken words are sober thoughts and gets a warm feeling in her stomach.

“Well I’ll let you keep having fun, birthday boy. I’ll talk to you later,” she smiles.

“Bye Ace,” he smiles back, before ending the call.

She immediately refills her glass of wine because she’s definitely too sober to be thinking about all the feelings Cale manages to give her every time they talk. She eventually falls asleep and if she dreamed about being in Calgary with Cale, she’ll blame it on the alcohol fucking with her dreams.

The next day is a busy one for Taty as she celebrates her sister’s 21st birthday in the best way she can while in the middle of a pandemic. They go to Salem, Massachusetts and have a blast doing many Halloween-related activities and then once it gets late, they head down to their cousin’s place in Brookline, Massachusetts to watch Halloween movies and to have a good time. Her sister decides to get drunk and Taty posts all their adventures on her Snapchat and her Instagram. She also sees that Cale has been posting his Halloween adventures on Snapchat, which aren’t as exciting this year because there’s no Avs Halloween party this year due to it still being the offseason and not everyone on the team is in Denver at the moment.

The next few weeks go by for Taty and it eventually gets to the point that she’s video chatting with Cale every day. They sometimes will stay up until late at night just talking and getting to know each other. Every day she’s becoming more comfortable and it’s on the first day of training camp, where she decides she’s finally gonna grow a pair and let him know how she feels.

He calls her after a long day at training camp and she actually has the time to talk to him as she isn’t working on anything for the podcast or her day job. 

“How was camp?” she asks him, as she locks herself in her room.

The last thing she needs is for her nosy ass sisters to eavesdrop on her conversations with Cale.

“It was tiring but fun. It was great to be out there with the guys again, even though everything is so weird with the virus going on,” he explains.

“Oh I bet, I can’t imagine all the testing and the extra precautions you guys have to take. The whole season is gonna be super weird huh,” she replies.

“Yeah, weird is a bit of an understatement,” he chuckles lightly.

“I really like you,” she blurts out, then immediately wishes the ground would swallow her whole.

She buries her face in her hands and contemplates ending the call to save herself from further embarrassment.

“Oh thank god! I was starting to think you didn’t really feel the same,” he admits, biting his lip.

“No I definitely like you. It’s just I’m new to this. I’ve never dated before or anything. I’m kind of a giant loser if you haven’t already caught on,” she admits, almost rambling at the end.

“Yeah no, you’re not a loser! You’re the coolest, most fun girl I’ve ever talked to and I just want to keep getting to know you because I really like you,” he assures her.

"So are we putting a label on this? Are we dating?" she asks.

"I guess you can say we're long distance dating," he chuckles lightly.

"I did know our video chats were considered dates," she teases.

"I was seeing them as dates and I want our future ones to be considered dates," he confesses.

"Alright so set up our next date," you tease.

"I know you're recording for the podcast tomorrow so what about Wednesday?" he asks.

"I'm off work Wednesday so that would be perfect. What time works for you?" she asks him.

"8pm my time," he answers.

"Yeah that works for me," she smiles.

"So it's a date?" he asks.

"Yeah it's a date," she smiles, getting a warm feeling in her stomach.

She tells him about some funny stories involving her family and he tells her some funny stories from training camp. They chat for hours and before she knows it, it's past midnight and she has to go to work in the morning. 

“I need to go to bed. I have work in the morning. Goodnight Cale,” she yawns, waving at him

“Goodnight love,” he waves back, ending the call. 

If she cheeses a little at the fact he called her love, no one is around to see it. 

December goes by pretty quickly and she feels bad that her calls with Cale become less frequent. December is the busiest month at work because everyone is doing Christmas shopping (being a store manager is hard work) and she finds herself working double the amount of hours she worked before the holiday season. Add doing the podcast three times a week and she’s absolutely gassed. Luckily, Cale doesn’t hold it against her because he starts getting more busy with preseason starting and his parents coming down for the holidays. Taylor is currently in the middle of his final season in the AJHL so he can’t make the trip down to Denver for the holidays. They text each other every day throughout the month however, and she manages to call him on Christmas and on New Year’s Eve, asking him if he’s excited for the new season to start on the 2nd.

2021 starts off worse than 2020 started because of the pandemic but Taty manages to make the best of it. She watches the Winter Classic while on video call with Cale. Luckily, the Avalanche start their season off at home again this year. The following day, she finds herself rushing home from work to be able to catch the Avs first game of the season against the Wild. She makes it home and takes a quick shower before changing into her Cale jersey and joggers. She quickly eats dinner before going into her room. She puts the game on and makes it just in time for the players to come out to the ice. She watches the game and manages to text Cale throughout the game knowing that he won’t see the string of texts until after the game. He finishes the game with one assist and 2 hits, as the Avs win 4-2 to start off the new season on a high note.

As she’s getting ready for bed, she gets a call from Cale.

“Hey, great game,” she smiles, trying not to show how tired she is.

“Oh shit, I just realized how late it is over there,” he sighs, not wanting to keep her up.

“It’s okay. I always stay up past my bedtime to talk to you,” she teases.

“How was work?” he asks.

“Annoying. We’re winding down from the holiday season but we still got a lot of people shopping and returning stuff,” she explains.

“I don’t know how you do it honestly, being so young and running a store, I mean,” he explains.

“Yeah well luckily I’m only an assistant manager,” she replies.

“Still pretty incredible what you do,” he assures her.

“Says the NHL superstar,” she scoffs.

“Hey, I’m not a superstar at all! I’m just another player like everybody else trying to be the best at my position,” he explains.

“Why do you have to be so humble all the time?” she teases.

“It’s just who I am,” he shrugs.

“And I love you for it but like just admit you’re a superstar,” she replies.

“Fine, I’m a superstar. Happy now?” he teases.

“The happiest. When are your parents going back to Calgary?” she asks, switching the subject.

“Tomorrow,” he answers.

“I’m glad you got to have them with you for the holidays, though,” she adds.

“Yeah, it was great seeing them again. I just wish Taylor could’ve been here,” he replies.

“Yeah well you’ll see him once his season ends and on the bright side, he’ll be at UMass next season,” she adds.

“Yeah I just miss him. I always go home for Christmas and this year I couldn’t,” he explains.

“Yeah I can’t imagine what that’s like but it will get better,” she assures him.

“Yeah I know it will,” he nods.

“I wish I could be there to make you feel better,” she sighs.

“Yeah, well we’ll see each other next month,” he smiles, a hopeful tone in his voice.

“February 5th can’t come fast enough. I’m gonna blow you away with the best interview you’ve ever done,” she teases, referring to her interviewing him for the podcast.

“I guess we’ll have to see about that,” he teases back.

“You wound me, Makar!” she fake gasps.

“I’ll make it up to you with a killer real first date,” he smiles.

“I’ll hold you to that. I expect to be really wooed,” she teases.

“It’s gonna be the best date you’ve ever been on,” he almost guarantees.

“It’s gonna be the first date I’ve ever been on,” she informs him.

“I know. That’s why it’s gonna be the best you’ve ever been on,” he jokes, causing her to roll her eyes.

“You’re so funny, Makar,” she deadpans.

“Stop acting like I don’t make you laugh all the time, Ventura,” he teases.

“What happened to humble Cale? I like him better than this smug one I got here,” she teases back.

“Stop acting like you don’t like it,” he replies.

“Yeah, I like every side to you,” she admits.

“Well that’s good because I like every side of you,” he smiles.

She feels her cheeks heat up and that warm fuzzy feeling return to her stomach. Is this what falling in love feels like? She’s never felt this way before and god, she hopes the feeling never fades because it’s amazing. No wonder people love falling in love so much, it’s magical and she hopes she doesn’t fuck it up. She just counts down the days until February 5th praying to god that nothing goes wrong once they finally meet.

[cassiopeiassky]

Black Velvet

Alright everyone, it’s finally here.  I’ve been sort of salty about the lack of tall!reader fics for awhile now or maybe it’s just the ubiquitous short, petite, drowning in his sweatshirt descriptions that get under my skin but just couldn’t get a decent amount of inspiration to write one.  I have been known to throw in a mention of height randomly in my fics, but my usual workaround to avoid physical descriptions of the reader is to just write Bucky as like six and a half feet tall.  Hes a damn super soldier, he should be taller anyway he did not start out as short as Steve.  So one day I stumbled across this post by @invisibleanonymousmonsters​ and for some reason I can’t explain, an idea was finally unlocked in my brain later that same day.  (Inspired by a song?  Me?  No.  Never.)

It’s kind of all over the place, so buckle in.  It does take a sharp right into smutsville but also ends up flipping a u and landing in flufftown.  I don’t know.  I just write what the muse tells me to write.  

I would like to thank the incomparable @scottish-pepper​ for her amazing help and support while I wrote the thing - I couldn’t have done it without you, darlin.

Bucky x Tall!Reader

Modern day AU - think of a 40s prewar Bucky if he got a chance to grow up and lived in a small town 

Plot:  You have a terrible day of epic proportions but a beautiful stranger in a small town helps to make it better.

Warnings: Swearing (as per usual), smut, mentions of alcohol/drinking/bars, a brief mention of potentially disordered eating, mentions of a thunderstorm, and a very specific shitty family member.

Word count: 12K  Yep.  Knda got away from me

One last author’s note:   This fic includes some ASL dialogue; it is expressed in italics without quotation marks.  ASL is an incredibly beautiful and expressive language, and it’s in 3D!!  It also has its own grammar structure, rules, nuances, and regional differences, just like any other language, and it can be a challenge to fit it into a two-dimensional space.  Taking this into consideration, I’ve decided to write the dialogue with spoken English grammar because my ASL is really rusty and I don’t want to mess it up.

It’s hot.  Like 100 degrees in the shade with 95% humidity hot. The trees are wilted, flowers are drooping, and there isn’t so much as a glimmer of hope for a cloud in the sky to interrupt the sun’s torture of earth’s inhabitants.  The air is thick and still – there’s no movement at all – yet dangerously unsettled.  It’s the kind of weather that if you sneeze, you might cause a tornado in the next county over.  Of course your cousin would choose today of all days to get married.  And of course her mom pressured her into going black tie, increasing everyone’s suffering tenfold.

“I can’t believe I rented a room for this.  I can’t believe I spent $200 on a dress.  Why am I even here?  What did I expect?”  There’s no answer, but of course there wouldn’t be.  You’re alone in your car, driving back to a motel that you might not even stay the night in.  You’d rented a room because you figured you’d have a few drinks at the reception – you wanted to celebrate the bride, she’s one of your best friends – but at this point you might as well just make the hour drive back home.

About a block from the motel you notice a bar tucked behind a gas station.   According to the clock on the dash, it’s only 5:25.

Fuck it.  You deserve a goddamn drink after today.

You pull into the parking lot and are surprised by the number of cars, farm trucks, and motorcycles already parked.  There’s only one redneck limo, thank God – a pickup truck with a 10 inch lift kit and truck nuts hanging off the hitch, and in your experience driven only by incredibly insecure men – so that’s a good sign, right?  It must be a decent place with decent drinks if it’s this busy so early in the evening.  Maybe some of your day can be salvaged after all.

The hot, sticky air rushes in as soon as the car door is opened.  “Gross,” you mutter; the heat hits even harder after the air conditioning in your car.  Glancing over to the passenger seat, you see the hideous shoes your aunt Lydia pressed into your hands upon arriving at the wedding.  “You know what, Lydia?  Fuck you and fuck your ugly shoes.”  You put your heels back on just to spite her.

It’s a small-town watering hole, so of course all eyes are drawn to you when you enter.  And they stay on you as you find a seat at the bar – perhaps it’s because you’re a stranger, perhaps it’s because you’re overdressed.

But probably not.

The bartender approaches while drying his hands.  He’s got dirty blonde hair in a sloppy undercut, a wide, flat nose, and is wearing a concert tee shirt with the arms cut off to show off his full sleeve of tattoos.  

“Do you have blended drinks?”  He nods. “Strawberry daiquiri, please.”

“Sure thing.”

You pull out some cash, tipping generously because your drink is a pain in the ass to make, then look around while you wait.

The bar is cool but not cold, not brightly lit but also not uncomfortably dim, is bigger than it looks, and is even busier than the amount of vehicles in the parking lot would lead you to believe.  On one side there’s a jukebox next to a small stage with an empty but decently sized dance floor.  There are a few high tops, then a gaming area featuring pool tables, dart boards, and a few pinball machines.  On the other side of the bar you see a window with someone selling pull tabs, a station set up for calling bingo, a door to what’s probably the kitchen, and a popcorn machine filled with freshly popped popcorn.  Behind you and scattered generously throughout the building are tables, some with 4 seats and some with 6, and over half of them are occupied.

“Here you go, miss.” The bartender places your drink in front of you with a polite smile.  “Would you like a menu?  The full kitchen is open tonight.”

The thought is nauseating. “Mmmm…maybe later.”

“Too hot to eat?”  At your despondent nod, he grimaces and places a tall glass of ice water next to the daiquiri.  “Thought as much.  I’ll check back in a bit.”  You didn’t notice his name tag until now – his name is Clint, and according to the hand illustrations under his name, he’s fluent in ASL.

Unsure if he’s Deaf and fluent in lipreading or if he’s hearing, you both sign and murmur, “Thank you,” before bringing the drink to your lips.  It’s on the edge of being burned – just the way you like it.  Sipping on the sweet slush is pure bliss, cooling you down from the inside out as it tempers the heat of the rum.

You sign?  He doesn’t speak this time.  It’s not an uncommon reaction.

Yes.  I’m an interpreter.

His eyebrows rise in interest.  What made you go into that?

My high school offered it, and I ended up becoming really good friends with the teacher’s daughter, who is Deaf.  I made a lot of friends, got involved with the community and immersed in the culture, and I just loved it, so I figured, why not do this for a living?  My dreams of being a Triple Crown winning jockey went out the window by the end of 5th grade so…

He laughs, but not unkindly.  Yeah, I suppose you are a bit too tall for that.  But 5th grade?  Damn.   His face lights up, Hey, have you heard of PATH, International?  They’ve got a campus about half hour north of here.  If you like horses, it might be right up your alley.  

PATH International, or Professional Association of Therapeutic Horsemanship, is an organization very close to your heart.  Yes! I volunteer there every Tuesday night.

The look of surprise on Clint’s face is priceless.  No shit? I’m there on Thursday nights!  You must be the other interpreter the kids are always talking about - they LOVE you!  And so do the horses.  You know, I was Ace’s favorite till you came along.  Now he won’t even look at me unless I bribe him with a treat.

You look again at his name tag, and the name clicks.  Wait, you’re Hawkeye!  The one that does the archery demos on horseback for the kids’ birthday parties.

He takes a theatrical bow. The one and only.

Clint “Hawkeye” Barton is nothing short of a legend at PATH.  Profoundly Deaf yet impossibly accurate with speechreading, he manages to blend both worlds perfectly.  He’s also a master archer both off and on horseback, which basically makes him a superhero in the kids’ eyes.  There are whispers that he travelled with a circus as a teenager, that he raises horses, and that he moonlights as a vigilante, but nothing has been verified and from what you’ve been told, he will neither confirm nor deny.  It’s very likely that there’s at least some truth to the horse raising rumor – Ace is technically his horse, he just loans the chestnut gelding to the program.  You’d been dying to meet Clint for a few years now but hadn’t been able to make it work.

It’s so good to finally meet you!

Likewise!  I’ve been meaning to swing by on a Tuesday to see who it is that stole my favorite horse’s heart, but I’m usually here.  His face lights up, Hey, I’ve got some ideas for a field trip for the older kids and adults but I need to team up with an ASL interpreter since I can’t technically work as a Deaf interpreter on my own off PATH’s campus.  You know, rules and shit.  You interested?

Absolutely!  Just let me know.   You dig a pen out of your purse and write your number and email address on a napkin. You know, I’m sorry, but I’m really not sorry about Ace.  He stole my heart, what can I say.

He’s a shameless flirt, but I never thought he’d actually prefer someone else over me.  But now that I’ve met you, I guess I can’t be too sore about it.  He seems to have good taste.  He takes the napkin with a grin and folds it up before putting it in his pocket, then looks to his left when a waitress waves for his attention and nods.  Duty calls.  Let me know if you need anything.

Well, that improved your day considerably.  

For a few minutes, anyway.

“That’s an awfully girly drink for a woman like you.”  A cloud of stale cigarette smoke with an obnoxious sounding man in the middle of it takes the seat next to yours.  

You don’t turn to face him; you don’t even acknowledge him.  If that’s his opening line, then you really, really don’t have the patience to interact with him today. This is the guy that owns the jacked-up truck. You can feel it in your bones.

Clint makes a face from behind the drink he’s making, notices your annoyance, and shakes his head. “Dude, she’s got more alcohol in her glass than you and your four buddies combined, so don’t knock her drink of choice.  She’s also clearly not interested, and way, way out of your league.  Go back to your pull tabs and leave the lady alone.”

You can feel the guy’s eyes on you, but Clint keeps glaring daggers at him and he eventually leaves. You can overhear him tell his buddies, “Thought she’d be an easy lay, but you know what?  Even I have standards.  How do you fuck someone that tall anyway?  I’d need scaffolding!”  They laugh, but you continue to hold your head up high.  It’s nothing you haven’t heard some version of before.  He’s not clever.

Ignore them.  They’re lonely, small little men.

I know.  Thank you.  His protective gesture is touching and completely unexpected.  This kind of thing doesn’t happen very often because most people assume you can handle yourself.  You can – but it’s nice to not always have to be on the defensive, and today you’re at your limit.

No worries.  You look like you had a rough day, I figured you didn’t need Chad making it worse.  Clint winks and turns back to his drinks.

Well, he’s not wrong, but the day can only get better from here, right?  Right.  You nod to yourself then sit back and enjoy your drink.  Clint stops by periodically to chat, but otherwise you’re left alone.

Eventually it’s time for a trip to the ladies’ room, and you do your best to ignore the stares and chuckles that inevitably follow you.  In your semi-formal black dress you certainly stand out in a bar filled with cut off shorts and tee shirts, but that’s not why they’re staring.

In your black satin and lace, modestly platformed stiletto heels – affectionately known as your ‘fuck me shoes’ – you’re well over six feet tall.  Are they uncomfortable?  God yes, but they’re also beautiful and totally worth it.

The bathrooms are at the back of the bar, past the dart boards and pool tables.  You’re almost there when you hear something ping off one of the pool table lamps and see it ricochet across the aisle and onto the top of the glass and wood cabinets housing the pool cues.  

“How – how the hell did you manage that, Rogers?”  A man with dark hair and a jawline that could cut glass heads in your direction.  “You were supposed to throw the chalk to me, not your imaginary friend standing thirteen feet behind me.”

“Sorry, Buck,” a blonde joins him, looking appropriately apologetic.  “My aim was a little off.”

“Ya think?”

You slow your pace to watch them.  The guy with the dark hair is gorgeous – well, they both are, to be fair – but the one…damn.  His maroon tee shirt is fitted enough to show off his beefy physique, and his jeans hug his thighs and ass like they were made for him.  He throws off an air of cocky confidence with just a hint of danger, lending a genuine feel to his bad boy image.  Should you…maybe?  No. No, you absolutely should not. You’re not in the right mindset to try to soothe a man’s threatened masculinity just for a bit of company.

He and the blonde reach for the wayward chalk, but it’s just out of their reach.  It’s amusing to watch them try to grab for it, but you take pity on them eventually.

Time for your good deed of the week.

“Excuse me, gentlemen.”  Stepping between the two, you reach up and effortlessly pluck the blue cube from its spot before dropping it into the dark-haired man’s hand with a smile.  “Here you go.”

Wide blue eyes look up into yours, but he doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t even smile.  He just stares.  Figures.

The blonde looks between you and his companion before clearing his throat.  “Thank you, ma’am.”

The unspoken rejection from the brunette stings.  Normally it wouldn’t get to you, but after today?  It does.  It really does.  So you swallow against the burning thickness in your throat and force back the tears with a fake smile.  “You’re welcome.”  A few more steps and you’re in the ladies’ room, which only serves to make matters worse when you step into an open stall.  As you turn around to lock the door, you can see your entire head in the mirror, poking out above the top.  A pair of women walk in and they giggle, so you quickly sit down.  There’s no point in taking it personally – it actually happens quite a bit in older buildings and you can fully admit that the sight is pretty funny – so you compose yourself and do what you came in to do.  You slouch when you stand in order to avoid accidentally looking into one of the neighboring stalls and go to the vanity to wash up.

Even the sink mocks you by making you bend almost in half to reach the water.

A woman with dark hair and bright red lips exits the far-right stall and joins you at the mirror.  “Oh wow, your shoes and dress are so pretty!”

“Thank you.”

“Did you come from the wedding at the ballroom?”

“Mmm hmm.”  You glance at her shorts and flowery sleeveless top and swallow your sigh – you feel like a fucking behemoth next to her.  “I think maybe I should have stopped by my motel room to change.”

“No, you look really nice!” She smiles up at you, “It’s really not unusual to have people dressed up in here on the weekends, you’re just earlier than we usually see it.  I’ll give you a tip, though, in case your feet start to hurt.  I know the place looks kinda crusty, but the owners take a lot of pride in it.  The floors are clean if you choose to go barefoot.”

Her unexpected kindness surprises you; you’re usually shunned by other women when you’re at a bar because all they see is your height, which they erroneously perceive to be an advantage in attracting men.  “Thank you. That’s really good to know.”  She turns to leave but you stop her when you notice something wrong with her shirt. “Hey, hon, you’re missing a button.”  The poor girl is busty, and she’s likely been flashing an unintentionally generous amount of cleavage for who knows how long.

She looks down and immediately sees the gap in her shirt.  “Well, shit.  I just bought this shirt.  No wonder some of the guys couldn’t look me in the eye.  Stupid boobs, always trying to pop out.  Why can’t they just make clothes that fit real people?”

“I feel ya,” you mutter as you start digging through your purse.  “Hold on, I’ve got something…here, try some of this.”

“Scotch tape?”  She looks confused as she takes it.

“Double sided tape.”

Her eyes get wide as she gazes up at you.  “You’re a genius.  And an angel. An angelic genius!”  She takes some and fixes her shirt, smiling brightly. Thank you so much!!”

Despite your incredibly shittastic day, you find yourself warming to her.  She’s nice.  “You’re welcome!  I didn’t want a bunch of creeps leering at you.  In a world of Chads, we women really need to stick together.”

“Oh, God, you met Chad?” She grimaces and shakes her head, “I’d like to apologize on behalf of the entire town.  He and his friends are not a good representation of the rest of us, I promise.  They don’t even live here, they were just permanently banned from the bar in the next town over and now they’re our problem, apparently.  But I promise, the rest of the people here are alright.”  She sticks out her hand, “I’m Peggy, by the way.”

You shake her calloused hand and give her your name.  “It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too. If you feel like some company, just come find me.  My friends and I will probably be here for a while, and you’re more than welcome to join us.”

“Thank you, I might just do that.”  You flash a smile, genuine this time, and go back to your seat at the bar.  What the hell, maybe you’ll take her up on her offer after you finish your drink.  

A minute passes, maybe two, before someone takes the barstool next to you.

It’s him.  The gorgeous brunette.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself.”  You want to roll your eyes at your reply. Smooth.  Real smooth.

“My uh, my friends pointed out that I was rude earlier, so I wanted to apologize.”

You turn to him quizzically, giving him your full attention.  Is this really the same guy that was playing pool?  The sexy one that projected ‘bad ass’?  “For what?”  

His cheeks grow pink and it throws you off guard.  “It’s not nice to stare.  My ma taught me better than that – she’d slap me into next week if she saw how I acted. I ain’t usually like that, I’ve just never seen, uh…”

Here it comes.  The ‘I’ve never seen such a tall woman’ comment that leaves you feeling like a roadside circus freak show.

“Well, you just got an amazing smile.”

Wait, what?  “Huh?”

“I’ve never seen such a pretty smile.”  He shrugs and studies the bar top.  “Your eyes looked sad, though.  I dunno. I guess I was tryin’ to figure you out.” He turns back to you with an almost obnoxiously handsome grin, “My name’s Bucky Barnes.  Can I make it up to you?  Buy you a drink?”  

You narrow your eyes at him, trying to gauge his intent.  He seems genuine enough – he’s either a brilliant actor or you seriously misjudged him, which, in your current cynical mindset, is entirely possible.

You look up to see Clint watching as he dries some glasses.  Maybe he has some insight.  Is this guy decent?  He’s gorgeous but does he have a personality?  

Clint snorts, glancing at Bucky then back to you.   Yeah. He’s a pretty good guy.  He’ll treat you right.

Bucky looks like he’s swallowing a smile when you turn back to him.  “Yeah, I guess you can make it up to me.”

“Really?”  He seems genuinely happy at the prospect.

“Sure.”

“Great!”  Apparently that’s all the invitation he needs to turn on the charm.  “So what’s a gorgeous girl like you doin’ in a dump like this?

“It’s not that bad,” you laugh.

“No,” he shakes his head sheepishly, “It’s not.  Guess I’m really off my game today.  I can usually flirt, I promise.”

A beer and another daiquiri appear on the counter.  “Thanks, man,” Bucky nods to Clint.  “Hey, you wanna grab a table?”  He nods his head to the side of the bar by the jukebox.  “It’s quieter there.  We can chat and I can show you that I ain’t, in fact, the dumbass I’ve made myself out to be.”

“Yeah, okay.”  Why not?  Even if you don’t know Clint enough to trust him, the kids that you work with do, and you trust their judgement.  So if Clint says that Bucky is decent, you’ll believe him.

***

It ends up being a good choice.  Bucky turns out to be more than decent – he’s really nice, funny, respectful, keeps his eyes where they belong, and doesn’t ask if you play basketball.

He asks the basic questions and learns that you live about an hour north of here, that you’re an interpreter, you love to read, write, and draw, and yes, you were at a wedding. Tired of talking about yourself, you take advantage of him pausing to drink his beer and flip the topic.

“So what do you do?”

Bucky takes a deep breath and sighs. “I’m a mission systems engineer with NASA.”

You blink at him.  “I’m sorry, you’re what?”

“A mission systems engineer with NASA.  I know, I –“

“Do you have top secret clearance?”

He looks thoroughly confused.  “That’s your first question?”

“Do you?  Or would you have to kill me if you told me?  Have you been to space?  Does the government have a plan for if an asteroid comes our way, or would we have to do like the movie Armageddon and wing it with a bunch of oil rig operators?”

Bucky appears to be absolutely delighted at your string of questions.  “Well, yes, no, unfortunately no, and I can’t tell you that because has to do with national security.”

“Fascinating.”  You sit back, thoroughly intrigued by the man sitting across from you. “What the hell are you doing in a podunk town like this? Shouldn’t you be in Houston?  Or D.C.?”

“I live here.” He chuckles at your unimpressed stare. “Yeah, I know it’s a small town – we got a bar, three churches, a motel, a gas station, and a diner that closes by 7 pm every day.  Our biggest draw is the ballroom on the lake shore and the hunting grounds in the fall. It ain’t exactly the heart of modern technology.  But I grew up here, my family and friends are here, and I stick around to help out on their farm.  I fly into Headquarters a few times a year, but otherwise I work remotely.”

“So what do you do?”

“The general gist of it is that I lead a team that designs, develops, and deploys missions.”

“To space?”

“Well, I mean, I work for NASA…”

“What are you working on now?”  You can’t help peppering him with questions – this is so fucking cool.

His eyes sparkle.  “You got top secret clearance?”

“No.”

“Sorry.  Can’t tell you anything,” he shrugs with a smirk.

“I…yeah, I guess I kind of walked right into that.  Wow.  So you’re really freaking smart.”

“I hope so!”

“Do you like it?”

“Being smart?”

“Your job, dipshit.”

He laughs, freely and openly, and it’s an amazing sound.  “I love it.”

You can’t help but stare at him.  “Wow. That’s…that’s just really, really fucking incredible.”

Bucky gets quiet.  “It is really incredible.  Thank you for thinking so.”  He looks up, then back down as he starts peeling the label off his empty bottle of beer. “You know, you’re the first person I’ve told about my job that didn’t either tell me I don’t look smart enough to be a mission systems engineer or ask me how much money I make.”  He meets your eyes again.  “Or both.  I get that a lot, too.”

You certainly know how shitty it feels to get those kinds of unsolicited comments based solely on appearance.  It’s one thing to have an impression, but to just say those things out loud?  “Well, they suck.  And they’re truly shallow if they think intelligence has anything to do with how you look.  But hey, at least they show their true colors right away so you can save yourself some time.” You lean forward, chin in hand, “Okay, so I know you can’t tell me about your actual projects, but can you tell me about your job?  What are your responsibilities?  What does a mission systems engineer do?”

Bucky lights up like New York City and spends the next 40 minutes going into detail about what he does, and you hang on every word; it’s impossible not to, really.  His enthusiasm for what he does is so evident that even if the topic weren’t interesting, you’d still be entranced.  And you thought he was gorgeous before?  His animated passion makes him absolutely breathtaking.

You’ve both finished your drinks and, perhaps not so surprisingly, he switches to soda when you do. When unordered appetizers arrive with your new drinks, you both look over to Clint, who just winks and shrugs.

“Well I ain’t gonna complain.  Didn’t realize how hungry I was.”  Bucky shoves an entire ham and cheese ball into his mouth, but then has to hasashafahasa because it must have just come out of the fryer.  “Ish hot!  Rearry hot!”

Bursting into laugher, you slide your ice water to him before cautiously taking a bite of your buffalo wing. Considering how much fun you’ve had in the last hour, it isn’t all that surprising that your appetite has returned. “Me neither.”

The hours fly by as the conversation eventually turns to other topics, and you find yourself talking about things you wouldn’t expect considering you’ve just met.  Bucky seems so open and honest that it’s difficult not to reciprocate, and if one doesn’t go into detail about what the other asks, it’s only because there’s so much to cover.  

Bucky dips the last bit of pretzel into the beer cheese sauce and pops it into his mouth.  “So if you don’t mind me asking, what made those pretty eyes of yours so sad?”

You take a long sip of your Coke Zero as you debate your next move.  Deflect or come clean?  You surprise yourself when you blurt out, “My aunt, Lydia.”

“Your aunt?”

You squirm a bit at the uncomfortable feeling of vulnerability, but you keep going.  “Yeah.  It was her daughter that got married today.  Marie and I grew up together – Lydia is my mom’s only sister, so she was the one that took care of me when my mom had to work double shifts, which was a lot. She did the best she could, and she means well, she really does, but she’s just so caught up with appearances. My height is a, uh, a definite sore spot with her.”

“Really?  Why?  What does it matter?”

“I think it comes down to the appearance thing.  Tall women are generally seen as less feminine, even straight up masculine.  Lydia is tall, too – not quite as tall as me, but close.  She claims that she got her husband through making herself appear daintier.  She only wears flats and follows all the newest fad diets to make herself as small as she can because she feels that being a tall woman puts her at a distinct disadvantage.”  You shrug, “She was one of the primary examples I grew up with. And to be fair, it’s not like she’s completely wrong.  In my experience, guys tend to feel emasculated by me.  And it’s not just men that seem to see me through a distorted lens.  Even from a young age – I’m talking 4th grade – I’d hear teachers tell my mom that I seemed so much more mature than my peers, that I didn’t need as much support, emotional or academic, as everyone else.  I got additional responsibilities and higher expectations.  The thing is, I wasn’t more mature.  I was just tall, so I looked more mature.  Eventually it kind of came true, though.  Other than my mom, who was single and working 2 jobs to keep me housed and fed, I didn’t really have anyone that would protect me or support me.  I guess no one thought I needed it, so I just got used to doing it myself.”

Bucky shakes his head, and you can’t tell if his expression is one of pity, sadness, anger, or something else.  

“But Lydia made everything a hundred times worse than it needed to be.  I already knew I was outside the norm, I didn’t need the reminders. But every time I’d hit a growth spurt she would share some nasty comment on it, as if telling me that boys didn’t like tall girls would somehow stop my bones from stretching.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Mmm hmm.  Despite my mom’s efforts – and the fact that being tall is actually pretty awesome – Lydia’s words really got under my skin, and even now they undermine my confidence sometimes.”  You gesture to yourself and the bar, “Obviously.  I should be at my cousin’s wedding right now.  I don’t go to many family functions anymore, because of her.  It just…it puts my head in a bad place.  You know, they say it takes five to seven positive comments to balance out one negative comment?  The negative is in everything she says.  Everything.  I love my family to pieces, but I just can’t handle her.”

“What did she say to you today?”  If you didn’t know any better, you’d say that Bucky is getting pissed.  

“She met me at the door of the chapel with a pair of her ugly black penny loafers.  Said that she told the photographer that I wasn’t allowed in any family pictures unless I was wearing them, because she didn’t want my Amazonian ass towering over everyone else and ruining the aesthetic.”

“Your…your ‘Amazonian ass’?”

“Eh,” you shrug and wave your hand dismissively.  “It’s not the first time I’ve been called an Amazon and far from the worst thing people have said. I mean, people say it to be cruel, but Amazons were fearless warriors.  I just think of it as being put in the same class as Wonder Woman.  The part that hurt was that she was prepared to make sure I wasn’t in the pictures, that she thought she could just erase my existence, simply because I’m too tall for her liking.”

Bucky’s mouth drops open. “I might be overstepping here, but what a heartless bitch.  No one should ever try to erase you, what a fucking idiot.”

“She browbeat Marie into dyeing her hair blonde for the wedding.  Marie hates it, but did it for her mom’s approval.”  You release a deep sigh, “But that’s Lydia, and that’s why I took my Amazonian ass out of there the second the ceremony was over.”

“Hmmmm.”  He gazes at you.  “You know she’s a princess, right?  

“Huh?”

“Wonder Woman.  She’s a princess. You know…Amazon Princess…it actually kinda suits you.”

“Seriously?”

“Damn right I’m serious. You’re tall?  So what.  You’re fuckin’ royalty.  Own it, Princess.  Correct ‘em. Make ‘em say it.  Amazon Princess.”  

“What?”

“Yep.  Say it with me.  Amazon Princess.”

You can’t help rolling your eyes, but there’s something undeniably sweet about the way he’s pressing the issue. It’s not good enough for him that it doesn’t bother you – he wants it to be seen as a term of empowerment and to let people know that’s how you see it.

The moment is interrupted when a booming voice comes through the sound system.  “Alright everybody, it’s ten o’clock!”  Someone stands on the stage, holding a mike and looking more than a little tipsy.  “You know what that means!”

The bar cheers, “Free jukebox!”

A line forms immediately, and the music starts.

“Wanna dance, Princess?”

“Really?  You’re going to call me ‘Princess’ now?”

He shrugs with darkening eyes and a suggestive smirk.  “If it’s okay with you.”

If he keeps looking at you the way he’s looking at you right now, he can call you whatever he damn well pleases.  But he doesn’t need to know that.  “Yeah,” you murmur.  His gaze is so intense that you have to look around the bar to break it and gather your thoughts.  You happen to see Peggy; she’s standing next to the blonde that had been playing pool with Bucky, so she must know him.  She catches your eye, sees who you’re with, and gives a thumbs up with a huge grin. Well, alright then.  You grin back and remember what she said.  “Let’s dance.”

Bucky stands, stopping when he sees you toeing off your heels.  “Woah, what’re you doing?”

“Taking off my shoes?”

He shakes his head, “Princess, you don’t need to do that.  I ain’t too fragile to dance with a woman taller than me.”

“I know,” and you do, “But I can’t dance in these.  And my feet hurt.”

When you stand, you’re almost eye to eye with Bucky; if he were barefoot as well, you would be.

People are still lined up at the jukebox, selecting their favorites.  It’s exactly the mix you would expect from a place like this – classic songs like Brown Eyed Girl, Summer of ’69, and Footloose with more modern tunes sprinkled in  – the kind of music that gets everyone up and dancing.

Bucky is a great dance partner, and you’re having an absolute blast.  You don’t think about your aunt, the wedding that you’re supposed to be at, or how you are, without a doubt, the tallest woman in the bar.  He laughs, showing off the crinkles at the corners of his eyes, obviously enjoying himself, too.  

The jukebox switches songs again, and on comes the relentless, even rhythm of Black Velvet.  For the first few measures, you just stare at each other.  It’s the first song to play that isn’t upbeat, and you don’t know what to do until he makes the first move and pulls you close – close enough to breathe each other in. He stares as Alannah Myles’ smokey voice drifts over the steady bass, then spins you so your back is to him.  

If Bucky’s a good dance partner for upbeat music, he’s even better when it’s slow like this, when every move counts.  He’s enough to handle you, and more than confident enough to do so.

Bucky stays behind you, mirroring you with his hands resting gently at your waist.  Your back is against his chest, but his hips keep their distance. Just to experiment, you press yours back and hear a guttural “fuck” before he intentionally shifts.

Bucky is absolutely nothing that you expected.  “You’re a gentleman.”

You can feel the dark chuckle rumbles through him. “I wouldn’t say that, Princess.”  He spins you around, pulling you close but not too close, and runs his thumb along your neck.  “I just ain’t in the habit of taking what ain’t mine.”

His voice sends a shiver down your spine.  Fuck. You like him.  One night stands aren’t usually your thing…but that’s not what this feels like.  He feels familiar.  Safe.  You like him, and he sure seems to like you. Your mind is already made up – you’ll take the chance and see what happens.  You hardly recognize your own voice when you ask, “Do you want me to be?”

“Thought I was makin’ it obvious.  Yes.”  He doesn’t hesitate and his eyes don’t leave yours.  “Are you offering?”  

You move your hand to the back of his neck and lightly scratch, watching with satisfaction as his pupils dilate even more than they were.  His lips part when you pull him closer, but he waits for you to close the kiss.

The second you do, his hands slide down to your lower hips before he tightens his grip.  He’s not timid; he kisses you as though you’re a well-known lover, deeply and intensely, without bothering with introductions.  

Bucky suddenly breaks the kiss, spinning you around again to pull your back against his chest.  This time, though, he allows his hips to rock into yours with the rhythm of the music, slow and steady and insatiable.  The way he moves makes it impossible not to think about fucking him; hell, you’re practically halfway there already.  His hands alternate holding you tightly to his body, maximizing contact, and running up and down your sides.  Your head falls back when his mouth finds your neck, and your legs go weak when his teeth nibble that spot beneath your ear.

You’ve never been so turned on in your life.

His voice is thick when his lips find your ear, “Wanna get out of here?”

You nod, taking his hand to lead him back to the table to collect your things.  “I’ve got a room at the motel a block away.”

“Good.”

When you take one last look around, you see Clint, still behind the bar, grinning at you like an absolute idiot.  Have fun!

“Oh my God,” you mutter under your breath, but you can’t completely hide the smile.

You step outside to find that the unbearable heat of the day has eased somewhat now that the sun has set. It’s still warm as the humid air kisses your skin, but with the breeze it’s sultry rather than oppressive.

You and Bucky look up at the same time – the stars are barely visible through the haze of clouds. There’s a thunderstorm rolling in on the western horizon.

Bucky walks you to your car, making sure you’re in safely before getting in his own truck and following you to the motel.  He jumps out of his vehicle and pushes you against the car the second you’re out of it, kissing you like it’s been days and not 2 minutes since his lips were last on yours.  

He doesn’t stop until the first few raindrops hit your skin.  Bucky looks up while you grab your purse and your aunt’s shoes out of the car, gathering them clumsily before locking the door.  It takes a minute for you to get your room key out of your purse, but you finally manage.

“Looks like the storm is already here.  Gonna be a good one if it got here that fast.”  He takes your hand, “Which room are you in?”

“Up the steps, furthest door on the left.”

Bucky leads you to the stairs as you both laugh while trying unsuccessfully to dodge the increasingly fat drops of rain.  He doesn’t let go of your hand until you need to unlock the door, and the second you hear the click of the lock, his lips are on yours again.  He pushes the door open and guides you through, closing the door behind him with a well-placed kick.  You drop your purse and the loafers, then step out of your heels as he toes his shoes off.  Still connected at the lips, he doesn’t see the things on the floor and trips over one of your stilettos.

“Oh shit!”  His eyes are huge, staring up into yours when he realizes he isn’t going to hit the floor because you’ve caught him by the arm. “Good catch, Princess.”  Both of you start laughing as he stands up straight, but the laughter dies out when his mouth find yours again.  Hungry hands roam your body while you reach beneath his shirt so your fingers can explore the taut muscles you just know are hiding beneath it.  Bucky grabs the collar behind his neck and pulls the shirt off altogether, and you are not disappointed.  “You like what you see, huh?”  

“Damn right I do.”  You’re breathless, pressing your lips against the salty skin of his collarbone.

“You sure know how to use that mouth of yours, don’t ya?”  He groans, then reaches down to grab the hem of your dress to lift it over your head before tossing it to the side.   “Goddamn, darlin.”  Bucky eyeballs you like a starving man at a feast before his mouth is back on yours, then moves his lips to the top of your breasts while he reaches around to unclasp your bra.  It joins your discarded dress as he pulls you close, groaning at the feel of your naked breasts pressed against his chest.  “I don’t know what the fuck I did to deserve you walkin’ into that bar tonight,” he bites your neck and you can’t stop the light whimper, “but I ain’t gonna complain. I’m gonna make you feel so good, Princess, I promise.”

You believe him.  And you cannot wait.

The two of you somehow manage to take a couple of steps toward the bed.  “I’ve wanted to do this since you smiled at me after givin’ me that chalk.  Those eyes, that smile, that dress, those fuckin’ sexy shoes.”  His hands find your hips, hooking your panties with his thumbs to push them down so you can step out of them.  “When we started dancin’ all I could think about was what it would feel like havin’ your legs wrapped around me, I want you so damn bad.”

You unbutton his jeans and fumble with the zipper, then pull his jeans and boxer briefs down at the same time, freeing a fully hard cock that is nothing short of glorious.  “Then either figure out how to multitask or stop talking and fuck me already.”

Bucky Barnes does not need to be told twice.

He kicks off his remaining garments before pushing you against the nearest vertical surface – which happens to be the middle of the window, where there’s a strip of metal supporting the two panes of glass.  You aren’t sitting on the ledge, just leaning against it to keep your balance.  It occurs to you that maybe you should close the curtains, but you’re too far gone to care enough to do anything about it.

“Don’t you worry, Princess. I can do both.”  His arm is looped around your waist to hold you steady while your upper back presses against the cold strip of metal.  You’ve got one arm hooked around his neck and the other steadying yourself on the edge of the windowsill.  Bucky reaches down, takes hold of your thigh and lifts it to his hip. He lets go of your waist just long enough to guide his cock to your entrance – and he can slide right in because you’re so damn wet – and fuck, the way he stretches you is delicious.

“Christ, you’re so damn fuckable,” he moans in your ear, sending shivers throughout your entire body. “So fucking perfect…don’t need a bed or a chair, I can fuck you anywhere I want.  I could just bend you over, wouldn’t even need a wall.”  Between his thrusts, which are as maddeningly steady and slow as his dancing, the cool metal of the windowpane at your upper back, the flickers of lightening, and the crashes of thunder, it’s almost sensory overload. He’s holding you so tightly that you can’t move your hips much, so you’re completely at his mercy.  And he knows it.

Each move he makes is a sin; the angle you’re at all but guarantees he’s stroking your clit with every move.  Delirious with the sensations flooding your brain, you can only babble nonsense.  

“What’s that, Princess? Use your words, darlin,” Bucky

“So…so good…I, huh…”

He chuckles darkly, “What was that?”

He’s not playing fair but you really don’t mind – his confidence with you is a rarity and is such a fucking turn on.  “More.”

“More?  You want me to fuck you harder?  Is that right?”  He waits for your nod before flashing a wicked grin lit by lightning, then adjusts his grip on your thigh.  “Anything you want, Princess, you get.”

His thrusts come harder and faster, multiplying your pleasure tenfold.  Then he shifts his hand on your thigh, changing the support from holding it up to pushing it back, opening you further and allowing him to go even deeper.

Oh, oh fuck…

Your entire body clenches with your orgasm, so tightly you can’t even breathe, and your mouth opens in a silent scream.

Bucky follows you just seconds later with a growl of your name against your neck and a few last ragged movements.

He releases your thigh as he gently pulls out, but he doesn’t take his arm from around your waist. You lift yourself onto the windowsill, pulling him between your legs as you hold each other close and catch your breath while the storm rages outside.  He keeps his face buried in your neck as you run your fingers up and down his back, calming you both.  The thunder rumbles violently while lightning dances in the sky, but it doesn’t worry you. You’ve always found comfort in the chaos of a storm.

Eventually your legs start to fall asleep, so you begin to move.  Bucky notices and hikes both of your thighs up to his hips before guiding your arms up around his neck.  “Hold on, Princess.”  He reaches down and lifts you, carrying you the 5 feet to the bed.  After laying you down, he begins kissing you again, then starts exploring your body.  “I love being cradled in your thighs like this, but there’s something else I wanna try,” he whispers as he starts crawling down.  “Now I can take my time with you.”

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out where he’s going.  “Really? Um, maybe I should shower first?” You’re sweaty from the heat of the day and just had some really incredible sex, so there’s no doubt in your mind that things are less than fresh down there.

“If you want to.”  He keeps on his slow descent, kissing everything in his path, “But I’m happy with you just like this.  I want you, right now, as you are.”

“But don’t you –“

“No.  I don’t.”  There’s a challenge in his eyes when he looks up from his destination.  “I don’t care.”  And then Bucky dives in, devouring your pussy like he’d devoured your mouth.  He’s got you writhing in moments, all worries gone. But he’s a goddamn tease now that the initial urgency has been satisfied, bringing you to the edge and then backing off again and again in a beautiful torture.

You can’t do dirty talk to save your life, but you’re about to start begging when he finally looks up, chin glistening before he wipes it away with the back of his hand.  “Fucking delicious.”  Between the sight of him, his voice, and the sensations you’re feeling, your brain just about short circuits.  Then his fingers start to circle your entrance, teasing you, making you want more before he slowly pushes two in and curls them to press against that spot, and fuck it can’t feel any better, but then somehow it does.  You pull a pillow over your face but he shifts, reaching up to yank it back off and throw it across the room.  “No way, Princess, I wanna hear what I do to you,” he rasps, watching you with hungry eyes and a feral grin.  You’re almost there…almost…and then he puts his mouth back on your clit and your universe implodes.

One orgasm blends into another and you allow him to push your limits until you can’t handle it anymore. “Stop,” you gasp, and he does immediately.  “I’m – it’s too much.  I…wow.” You’re so oversensitive at this point that if he breathes too hard, you might jump out of your skin.

Bucky crawls his way back up to you, dropping kisses on your hot skin as he goes.  “You’re incredible, you know that?  I love how your body responds to me, I fucking love it.”

He kisses you again, and despite your sensitivity, your hunger for him grows.  Sitting up, you pull him with you then push him down to the mattress.  “Fuck yes,” he whispers hoarsely when you straddle him and slide down, pausing to glide your pussy along his hardened cock, but then you slide down a little farther before spreading his legs so you can kneel between them.  

It’s impossible not to groan aloud when your hands find his thighs; thick, tight, and incredibly well formed, they look like they were sculpted by a generous god.  “I might have to ride one of these later.”

“Please –“  Bucky swallows hard and licks his lips as he watches you in the dim, sporadically flickering light, “Please do.”

One hand moves to palm his balls while you part your lips to take him in as far as you can, reveling in his heaviness on your tongue while using your hand to stroke the base of his cock. You give it a bit, waiting until he’s writhing beneath you before you pull off and redirect your attention.  His eyes grow wide when your fingers start moving down beneath his balls to his taint, pressing gently to find the very root of his cock which will then lead you to the spot you’re looking for.  Pressing firmly when you find it, you begin rubbing tight circles.

“What are you – oh.  Oh.  Oh, fuck, Princess, oh fuck!”

It’s ridiculously satisfying to see him reduced to the same whimpering, quivering puddle you were not so long ago.  You make him come once, twice, three times without ejaculating, just because you can.  

Bucky’s got his forearm resting over his eyes as he shakes his head, and you take advantage of his distraction to shift your body into position.  “Holy shit.” He’s breathless, shaking,  “I did not know I had a spot that could do that.  Fuck.  I – oh Christ…“

You slide onto his cock, smiling when his hands automatically reach to grip your hips – the biology and technique can be explained later.  Leaning over, you kiss him deeply then stretch your arms above him to grip the headboard.  Rocking your hips slowly, so slowly, you watch him watch you.

Bucky’s lips form words but nothing comes out except for sighs and soft moans as you become more and more intoxicated by his need for you.  His hands wander up and down, touching your breasts, hips, ass, and everything in between until he pulls you down for another kiss.  “Do you have any idea how fucking perfect you are?  You feel so good.  So fucking good.  Wanna make you feel good.  As good as you make me feel.”  Bucky kisses you again, sloppily, then wraps an arm tightly around you before flipping you both.

Now that you’re on the bottom and he’s back in control, he picks up the pace considerably.

You certainly aren’t about to complain.

His hands are grasping yours, holding them over your head, and your legs are locked around his hips as his thrusts eventually begin to lose their impeccable rhythm.  

Now neither of you are in control.

The pleasure has been steadily building, an inevitable tidal wave on the horizon.  Maybe it’s his confidence, maybe he’s naturally gifted, maybe it’s that his body seems to fit with yours just right.  Whatever it is, this is by far the best sex you’ve ever had, and despite already having multiple orgasms, your appetite for him seems to be insatiable because you’re greedy for the next one.

“Fuck, Princess, it feels so good having those legs wrapped around me,” he pants, “Goddamn, I can – I can feel you’re right there.  I ain’t gonna last much longer, come for me, darlin, give it to me now.  Oh Christ yes, that’s right, just – just like that.”

Your body obeys, giving him exactly what he wants.  The velvet sound of his voice, his incessant dirty talk, the way he smells and tastes – everything about him adds to your pleasure induced stupor.  The orgasm is so powerful that everything but Bucky goes black, and the only thing keeping you tethered to this world is the way he chants your name as he comes.

His body continues to cover yours as you wait for your racing pulse to slow.  He presses kisses to your neck, cheeks, lips, and eyelids, and finally your forehead before he gently lifts himself off to lay next to you. “C’mere,” he pulls you to him, and when you rest your head on his chest you can hear how fast his heart is still beating.

Thoroughly sated and soothed by the feel of his fingertips on your skin, it’s tempting to give in and fall asleep.  But not yet. Not if you want to sleep through the night.

Reluctantly, you rise. Maybe, if you’re really fast, maybe he’ll still be here when you get back.  It’s probably not the sane thing to do, but you really, really want him to stay the night.

“Where you going?”  Is that trepidation you hear in his voice?

You smile as you take in the sight of him lying in the bed, disheveled and clearly satisfied. “I need to shower.  And wash my face – I need to get my makeup off.  My eyes are getting itchy.”

“Can I join you?”  He laughs at your raised eyebrow, “No, Princess, not like that.  I’m gonna need some time to recover.”

“That’s good to know,” you smirk, “I was starting to wonder if you were a god wearing a mortal’s skin.”

Bucky blushes.  It’s adorable.  “Nah, no god here.  Just a man that’s never wanted a woman so bad before.  Still do,” he shrugs, “Just too worn out at the moment to do anything about it. You’re somethin’ special, I hope you know that.”

It’s your turn to feel the heat rise in your cheeks, but you hold out your hand to help him up.  

The shower is tender and sweet, full of soft kisses and softer touches.  This man just keeps surprising you.

He’s toweling off his hair when his eyes meet yours in the vanity mirror.  “Is it okay if I stay?”

A slow smile spreads across your face – you couldn’t stop it if you tried.  “I’d like that.”  You slip into fresh panties and a tank top, turning to face him fully to admit, “I’d like that a lot.”  Bucky beams at you before pressing a soft kiss to your lips and heads to the bed. You finish up a few minutes later and crawl in, suddenly feeling very self-conscious.  There’s nothing to hide behind – no makeup, no cocktail dress, no drink.  It’s just you, and this is a state that very few people see you in; no one you’ve ever dated has seen you this vulnerable until months have gone by.  Some didn’t see you this way at all.  “Don’t look too close.  I’m very unglamorous and monochrome without makeup.”

Bucky’s blue eyes stare in yours.  “We’ll have to agree to disagree.”  His fingers trace your freshly moisturized skin.  “I think you’re beautiful.”

Outside, the thunderstorm has exhausted itself.  He pulls you close and breathes you in, and you both fall asleep to the sound of gentle rain.

***

When the sun peeks through the gap in the curtains at 6 am, you’re not even mad that you’re awake.  The sight of Bucky lying peacefully next to you is something you’re thoroughly enjoying.

“You’re staring.”  His voice, deep and gravelly, rumbles lightly into the silence as he opens his eyes.  “It’s because I’m decent and gorgeous with a personality, right?”

“What?”

Bucky smirks as he stretches and sits up.  “I should probably come clean.  The bartender from last night?  My parents took him and his sister in after their parents were killed in an accident. Clint and Carrie were lucky to survive – he lost his hearing and six months of memories and she was in the ICU for 3 weeks.  He and I have practically been brothers since grade school.”

It takes a minute, but you finally put the pieces together.  Oh.  Well, shit.

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop; I was just really surprised to see you sign so I didn’t look away fast enough. I’m sorry.”

You sit up and slap him lightly on the shoulder.  “So, you knew what I asked him?

His smile broadens as he gives you puppy dog eyes.  Yes. Please don’t be mad.

You try not to smile back as you think about it but lose the battle and shrug.  “I’m not mad.  Maybe a little embarrassed, but we’ve known each other for what, 12 hours?  It’s not like you can tell me everything about you in that short amount of time.”  You give him some serious side eye, “Although you could have mentioned that when I told you what I do for a living.”

He studies your eyes like he’s trying to see into your soul.  “I told you a lot, though.”

“You did.  We both did.”  It surprises you, more than a little, that you aren’t horrified at how open and honest you’ve been with him.

Bucky reaches his hand up to cup your cheek and he pulls you in for a kiss.  “Good morning, beautiful.”  It seems like he doesn’t want to part, because he rests his forehead against yours.

Somehow your hand finds his neck, and you gently rub your thumb along his jawline.  “Good morning, Bucky.”

His stomach grumbles. Loudly.  “Wanna grab some breakfast, Princess?”

It makes you a stupid amount of happy that he’s not ready to leave you just yet.  “Yeah.  I just need a little bit to get ready.”

A half hour later, Bucky opens the passenger side door of his pickup.  “Your chariot, Princess.”

“Thank you,” you murmur, taking his offered hand and climbing in.  It’s an older truck, one with a bench seat, and it smells of hay, Bucky’s cologne, and sweat.  It’s not what you’d expected, but it suits him.

In this tiny little town nothing is open at this hour on a Sunday morning, so Bucky pulls his pickup onto the interstate to head to a fast food restaurant a few miles away.  You take the time to look around – the area is really pretty and reminds you of the drive to your grandparents’ house, all farmland and pastures.  Of course, you can’t help but stare at the horses whenever you pass them.  “Whoa.  They must breed Appaloosas.”

Bucky takes a quick glance out your window.  “Yeah, that’s the Carter farm.  They raise Appaloosas and alpacas.”  He’s quiet for a moment.  “You like horses?  Not everyone can randomly pick out that breed.”

“I love horses,” you murmur, smiling broadly when you spot a few foals among the herd.  You’re too busy looking at them to notice how he looks at you.

***

Breakfast is simple, just something picked up at a drive thru window, but that’s perfectly fine with you. Bucky doesn’t pull back onto the interstate though, he instead starts driving the winding country roads.  You don’t mind in the least; you simply sip your coffee, content to be exactly where you are.  Considering the hour, you aren’t even grumpy.  Stealing glance at the reason why, you hide your smile and take another sip.

Bucky’s fingers drum almost nervously against the wheel, then he seems to make a decision as he brakes sharply.  “Sorry, Princess,” he smiles sheepishly, “You up for a picnic?  I know a spot.”

His smile is infectious. “Yeah.”

He takes the left he stopped so quickly for, and then another left onto a dirt road, and a mile later he turns onto what looks like a seldom used service trail leading up to a fenced in pasture.  “Just a sec,” he pulls the truck to a stop, then gets out to open a gate.  Bucky quickly climbs back in, drives the truck through about 20 feet before turning in a tight circle to face the road, and closes the gate behind him before stepping up to your door.  “I got some blankets, do you want to sit in the truck bed with me?”

“Of course.”

He gets the blankets and spreads them out while you grab the food and coffees, handing them to him before you climb in after him.

“I would’ve helped you in, Princess.”

“Bucky.  I’m not five feet tall.  I can get into the back of a truck.”

He rolls his eyes. “I’m fully aware of that.  But unlike the other shmucks you seem to have come across in your life, I ain’t gonna make you do something by yourself just because you can.  You deserve consideration and chivalry, too.”

What do you even say to that?  He’s the exact opposite of pretty much everything you’ve ever known.  It’s nice.

He sits down against a box that is attached to the back of the cab.  “C’mere.  You look cold.”  

It was hot when you’d packed your overnight bag so you’ve only got a tee shirt and shorts on, and luckily a hoodie that just happened to be in the backseat of your car.  “I am, a little,” you admit as you curl into his side, allowing him to cover your legs with another blanket that he’s pulled out.

He eats one handed, keeping an arm around you to keep you close and warm.

Everything smells clean and fresh now that the storm went through, and the morning air is chilly but fresh with the light breeze.  The radio plays softly, drifting through the open windows as you and Bucky eat and watch the fluffy white clouds drift by.  It’s the best picnic you’ve ever had, hands down.

“So where are we? It’s beautiful here.”

“My parents’ farm.”

You turn to stare at him. “This is where you grew up?”

“Yep.”

“Lucky.”

“I am.  Hey, I wanna introduce you to someone.”  He stands suddenly, not waiting for a reply.  You’re in the middle of a pasture, who the hell is there for you to meet?  Bucky brings his fingers to his lips and lets out the sort of piercing whistle that you’ve never managed to master.

And then…and then…

“Are you fucking serious.” Eyes wide, you bring yourself to a kneeling position as a steel grey Percheron comes galloping full speed towards the truck.  “Bucky!”

He turns toward you, face almost split in two by his grin.  The horse slows down, circling the truck and whickering before coming to a full stop right at the tailgate.  

“I’d like you to meet Sergeant.”  

“Oh my God, Bucky, he’s stunning,” you breathe, unable to help yourself as you slowly move forward to sit at the edge of the open tailgate.   Intelligent eyes take you in before a velvet muzzle finds your hand.  “Sorry buddy, I don’t have any treats for you.  But I do have ear scratches,” you murmur, firmly stroking the planes of his face before scratching behind his ears.  You giggle when he sighs, and again when he mouths gently at your hair.  

Bucky beams with pride as he pulls an apple out of the box you’d been leaning against, feeding it to Sergeant before sitting on the tailgate next to you.  “I’ve had him for 20 years.  I got him when he was just a colt.  Trained him myself.  He’s one of the reasons why I choose to work remotely – I just can’t imagine not getting to see him.”

“I don’t blame you at all, I don’t think I could’ve left this sweetheart either.”  Sergeant blows gently in your face, then nuzzles you hard enough to push you backwards.  “Oh my goodness, you are just a big baby, aren’t you, Sarge?  Oh, you like that?  That spot right there?”  You laugh lightly as the giant horse stretches his neck toward you, seeming to thoroughly enjoy how you scratch just beneath where his mane grows.

“He likes you.”  Sergeant looks over when Bucky speaks, but then turns back to you.

“Well, I like him.” Feeling eyes on you, you turn to Bucky. “What, are you jealous?” you tease.

“Yes.”  Bucky cradles your face in both his hands and begins kissing you.  Before you know it, you’re lying in the truck bed with him, making out like a couple of teenagers out past curfew.  Time slows even as it moves, and you’d swear the minutes stretched into a blissful forever as you lay in his embrace.  But the real world likes to force its way in, and the distant sound of a car’s horn brings you both back to your senses.

Sergeant is about 50 feet away, grazing peacefully as Bucky pulls out his phone to check the time.  “We, uh, we should get going.  I don’t know how much longer I can keep my hands to myself, and my folks will be drivin’ by on their way to church in about 15 minutes.”

“Don’t feel like scarring them forever with the view of your naked ass?”  You sit up and start pulling up the blankets to fold them.

“Honestly?”  He shakes his head, “They’d probably cheer and then invite you over for dinner.”

Pausing your movements, you let that one sink in.  “…Oh. Well that would be just as awkward as the alternative.”

He shrugs.  “They’ve been dropping some not so subtle hints that they think I should settle down.  They’d be thrilled just to know I spent the night with you.”

You tilt your head a bit as you watch him.  “Don’t you date?”

“Nah, not really.”

“Really?  Why not?”

He shrugs again as you hand him the blankets, then he turns his back to you as he puts them in the box. “I dunno.  I guess I just hadn’t found anyone I wanted to actually spend time with.”  

“Huh.”

“What?”  There’s a challenge in his eyes when he turns back around.  “That so weird?”

“No, I get it.  You definitely shouldn’t settle.  I guess…” he’s staring at you now, waiting for you to finish, “I guess I’m just a little surprised that someone hasn’t snatched you up yet.  Where I come from, you’re quite a catch.”

“You think so?  How’s that?”

Is he baiting you? Teasing you?  Genuinely curious?  It’s impossible to tell.  “I know so. You’re smart, kind, funny, and a stupid amount of gorgeous,” you pause to level a look at him, “but I suppose you already knew I thought the last part.”

Bucky barks out a laugh but at least has the good grace to look sheepish.

“You have an absolutely beautiful horse, which wins points with pretty much every person I know. Your parents took in a couple of kids when they needed a family, and you learned a new language so you could keep communicating with your friend.  You have every opportunity to move to another city, but you stay here to be close to those you care about.  And,” it’s dumb, really, how you’re suddenly too shy to meet his eyes, “You’re really good in bed.  Like, really really good.  You’re the whole damn package.”  When you finally look up, he’s staring at you again.  “There’s a perfectly real possibility that you’re a total asshole and that you’ve been acting this whole time – I’ve only known you for a day – but I haven’t seen any cracks.  I get the definite impression that I met the real Bucky, and he is one hell of a catch.”  

“Huh.”  He hops down and turns, holding out his hand to help you down.  Do you need to take it?  No, but you love that he offers anyway.  He doesn’t let go after he helps you out, instead choosing to hold your hand as he walks you to the passenger side.  Bucky only lets go because he has to, and once the gate is secured behind the truck, he takes your hand and holds it for the entire drive back to the motel.

***

Ever the gentleman, Bucky walks you back to your motel door.  

“Do you have to go?” The words are out before you can think too long on them.

He’s shaking his head before your entire sentence is out, “No.  Not if you don’t want me to.”

You don’t even care if you sound needy or clingy.  “Please stay.”

Just like you learned last night, Bucky Barnes does not need to be told twice.

At least the drapes are closed this time.

***

A sharp rap at the door and an equally sharp call of your name interrupts your post-lovemaking bliss.  It’s your aunt.

“I don’t wanna,” you whine.

Bucky bristles, sensing your distress.  “That her?”

You nod before pulling a pillow over your head.  “I’m just going to pretend I’m still asleep.  Maybe she’ll go away.”

“Don’t worry Princess, I got you.”

You feel the bed shift and move the pillow.  “Bucky!”

He turns back to you, eyebrows raised, as another insistent knock echoes through the room.

“You’re naked!”  It comes out as a stage whisper, making you both snicker.

He flashes a shit eating grin.  “So?”

Is he really gonna…

With a dramatic huff, he stops to find his boxer briefs and quickly tugs them on.  Kind of.  They’re sitting awfully low.

First there’s the sound of the door swinging open, then Bucky’s voice, bored and borderline intimidating.  “Yeah?”

The following silence is deafening and you almost wish the room was set up so you could see your aunt’s face, but all you can see is the back half of Bucky’s sensational body leaning in the doorframe.

“Uh, hi?  I’m looking for my niece?  I thought this was her room?”

“You mean the tall, gorgeous drink of water?  About my height?  Killer smile? Was wearing, uh, let’s see, what was she wearing?  It’s been awhile and she ain’t wearin’ much of anything now.”

The blood rushes to your face, but you can’t even imagine how embarrassed Lydia is right now.  The thought is nothing short of glorious.    

“Uh,” he snaps his fingers a few times, feigning concentration, “Oh!  A black dress with the sexiest heels imaginable?  Sound about right?”

“Well, yes, but –“

“Yeah, she’s here.” His tone is still bored, but you think you can pick up on an edge of amusement.  Your aunt must be squirming by now, and it’s all you can do to not start cackling.

“I thought…well…the gift opening is in an hour.  I thought she was going to meet us for breakfast before –“

“She won’t be goin’ to the gift opening.  Or breakfast, but don’t you worry, ma’am.  I made sure she ate something.”

The not so subtle innuendo almost makes you choke on your own spit.

“You can’t – are you holding my niece hostage or something?”

He laughs darkly but yells out, “Princess, am I holding you hostage?”

Your own laugher, unable to be contained any longer, bursts out.  “Nope!” you call out, absolutely feeling as gleeful as you sound.

Lydia is practically apoplectic by now.  “But what about the gift opening?”

“She doesn’t. Want.  To go,” he growls, stooping down.  “And here, she doesn’t want your fucking ugly shoes, either.  Stop projecting your insecurities onto her – she’s perfect the way she is.”  Bucky closes the door – perhaps a little harder than strictly necessary – and you hear the sound of the lock sliding into place before he saunters back to the bed.

“Thank you for doing that, Buck.  I – holy shit, I cannot believe you answered the door like that.”  Your eyes are glued to how low his boxers are sitting – he’s showing more than just his happy trail.

“What?  Everything’s technically covered.”

“Bucky.”

“Yes, Princess?”

“I – I’m not even sure how you managed it, but you basically turned your boxers into the dick version of a pasty.”

He grins, “Like I said. Everything’s technically covered.”  Bucky moves closer, crawling into the bed until he hovers above you. “But not for long,” he murmurs, pressing kisses to your neck.  “Now, the way I figure it, we got another two hours till checkout.”

“Mmmmm…” you’d rather not think of the time.  It’s necessary if you don’t want someone from housekeeping to accidentally walk in, but you don’t want this to end.

He kisses you deeply before pulling back, looking just a little hesitant.  “And then, if you want, we could continue this back at my place? If you’re not in a hurry to get home?”

He’s kept his lips to himself for a few seconds, so your head manages to clear enough to process what he just said.  “What? Really?”

“Yeah.  I mean, I get it if you have to get back.  But,” he shrugs awkwardly, his current vulnerability at stark odds with his usual confidence, “I like you.  I’d like to spend the day with you if you’re free.” He kisses your neck again and nibbles your ear.  “We can do more of this.  I like this, too.  A lot.” He pulls back to look you in the eye. “But we could also do some talkin’. Maybe you’d let me take you out to a nice dinner before you head home?”

A smile, broad and genuine, stretches across your face.  “I’d like that.  I’d really like that.”  Even if you never see Bucky again after today, you’re hungry for whatever time you can get with him.   He’s addictive and you’ve never in your life felt more satisfied and safe than you do right now.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

His borderline cocky confidence returns as his hands resume roaming the landscape of your body. “Good,” he mouths against your throat, and resumes his worship of you.  “It’s gonna be a good day, Princess.  A good fuckin’ day.”

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[zalrb]

What were your favourite childhood movies? I was rewatching the karate kid movies and the newest version is nowhere as good as the old one.

This list is kind of all over the place, haha, because some movies are movies I grew up with meant for my age group at the time and a lot of them aren’t because I was exposed to a lot of media as a kid, haha. I’m also jumping around in time 

Lion King --- I had Just Can’t Wait To Be King on repeat, I’d rewind it again and again and just sing it until I had to go to my room because my mother had enough

Aladdin --- apparently I just went around going, “I’m not a prize to be won!”

Land Before Time --- this movie is so fucking depressing but I really liked Ducky --- like to the point that the reason why I go “yepyep” is because Ducky goes “yepyepyep” and I remember when I realized that, I was like holy shit is that why all these years I go “yep yep” and my family was like, lol yes. But then as an adult I found out what happened to that child actress and that just made the movie all the more depressing 

The Breakfast Club --- I explained this yesterday I believe 

Grease --- so my mother loved/loves Grease, she knows all the songs, can play most of them on the piano and we used to live across the street from this movie theatre that played old movies and Grease was a regular so we watched it a lot 

Sixteen Candles --- I remember thinking this was so romantic as a kid. Super problematic movie tho

Titanic - ah yes, Titanic, Leonardo DiCaprio, my first celebrity love. Oh, I can’t stand this movie now, lmao

Lord of the Rings trilogy --- lmao so when the first movie came out, I was obsessed with the elves and Rivendell and I used to write my homework with swirly letters to look like elvish and my teachers complained so I had to get a talking to about it 

Love and Basketball --- first Black love story I ever saw. 

Back To The Future  1 and 2, lmao as John Mulaney pointed out, the first movie anyway is actually REALLY weird when you think about it 

Bad Boys --- I mean Martin Lawrence and Will Smith were the shit back then so I just liked watching them in a movie together

The Best Man --- THIS is funny so the 90s and early 00s saw a lot of African American movies and my mother was all about getting me to see Black people onscreen as much as I could so she took me to these movies even if it wasn’t exactly kid appropriate, she would just make sure to have a conversation with me about the movie when it ended, anyway, so when I was a kid, I didn’t really get a lot of the nuances of The Best Man but when it came out on VHS and when the soundtrack came out we got it so we watched it a lot and there’s a song by The Roots that I really like and one day I was like, I don’t know why I like this song so much and my mom was like because they play that song when you see Morris Chestnut for the first time and I think you went through puberty in the theatre when you saw him and I just diiiiiiiiiiiiiiied

As an adult, The Best Man is fucked up and I would’ve kicked Harper’s ass as well but only because what he did as a writer was a fucking dick move.

Pretty Woman --- it took me a while to realize that she was a sex worker

You’ve Got Mail --- I remember watching this in the theatre with my mom and being SO FRUSTRATED because I just didn’t understand why Tom Hanks couldn’t tell Meg Ryan the truth. 

Liar Liar --- I related to having an absentee dad who never made good on his promises but I also liked Jim Carey’s exaggerative facial expressions but I remember there’s this joke, so the whole premise is that Jim Carey didn’t show up to his son’s birthday when he said he would (relatable!) and his son was so tired of him breaking promises, he wishes that his father will never lie again but Jim Carey is a lawyer so that causes issues, lmfao, but anyway so Jim Carey can’t lie and he has sex with I think it’s his boss, I forget, but he has sex with someone and she’s like how was it? and he goes “I’ve had better” and every time that joke came on my family would CRACK UP so I kept being like “better what? GUYS WHAT DID HE HAVE BETTER OF? I DON’T GET IT” then my mom and I had a conversation, lmfao.

Goodfellas --- I remember my cousins watching this movie in the living room and I saw the scene of the gif I posted below and was like OH WHAT’S THIS and then they told me to go into the bedroom because it was too grown but it’s like they forgot there was a TV in the bedroom and I just turned it to the channel and watched it there. And the movie came on a lot on TV so I just watched it a lot by myself, lmfao.

Twin Warriors aka Tai Chi Master --- probably my favourite martial arts movie. I know there are better ones but I really resonated with this as a kid. Jet Li was a legend with my cousins. 

Fist of Legend 

Once Upon A Time in China

Romeo Must Die --- omg I played this movie ALL. THE. TIME. 

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon 

Boyz N The Hood --- a really important movie in my household to the point that I was excited to be able to write a paper on it in the same Popular Cinema from the 70s to the Present class I did my Breakfast Club paper for

same with Do The Right Thing

Jumanji -- I fucking love how mean-spirited this movie is and I did appreciate it as a child too although it freaked me the fuck out 

Clueless

Home Alone - god, Kevin’s family was terrible 

Home Alone 2 --- ah the movie/scene that changed my life

House Party --- to this day I haven’t been to a house party as live as this one 

Malcolm X --- another extremely important movie in my household

Hook --- ooooh I still love this movie so much!

Scream --- I remember when this movie was THE. SHIT. Scared the fuck out of me.

Hero --- this movie was so gorgeous

Rush Hour --- I would probably hate Rush Hour now tbh but whenever I hear “Fantasy” by Mariah Carey I think of the opening scene because I was Soo Young belting to Mariah Carey in the car, it was the best part of the movie for me as a kid because I was like I DO THAT TOO but then she gets kidnapped, so....

The Mummy --- CLASSIC

Gremlins 

Hercules - DUH

The Godfather --- I rarely talk about my dad but he was very much into mob movies because he liked the way they dressed and carriedt themselves in these movies, especially in The Godfather so whenever I was with him, The Godfather was on a lot 

He was also very much into comics, particularly Batman, so even though I don’t really care for DCU/MCU or comics, I’m more likely to go to a theatre (well pre-Covid) and pay to watch a Batman movie over any other comic movie - except Black Panther which is a huge exception because these Batman movies were a pat of my childhood

yes, even Batman and Robin, I even had the soundtrack, listening to Bone Thugs N Harmony on my bunk bed and shit.

Space Jam --- I recently watched the Movie Pitch for this and it had me hollering

Lean On Me --- I have complicated feelings about this movie now but I grew up watching it and I really liked it and the older I got the more I understood what the movie was actually about

Practical Magic --- I wanted to live in that house

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone --- because it was real finally!

Armageddon -- I still love this horrible, nonsensical, illogical, terrible movie because it’s utterly fantastic and hilarious. As a child I didn’t understand this moment and why it was such a huge ask, as an adult I’m like YES. IF I SURVIVE SAVING THE WORLD I’M NOT DOING THIS, THE FUCK I LOOK LIKE?

[rosewood-liars]

I’m disappointed that the producers of the PLL TV Series wrote out the fact Hanna is canonically Jewish even if she is non - practicing and had a blended tradition family ( Ashley Marin is not to my knowledge also Jewish ). There’s a whole scene in the books where Tom tries to bond with Hanna again, recognizes that the christmas celebrations are bumming her out & makes it up to her by celebrating Hanukkah. ( I’ll probably transcribe that encounter from the companion novel at the end of this post. ) 

 I mean, maybe I should not be as upset by this as I am - because I’m not religious and have never been Jewish ever in my life. 

However, I’ve also had experienced the frustration and big sad™ when something that me and a loved one did together was discarded and this just doesn’t set well with me. 

( I think I will make more references to this ( even if she is non - practicing ) as a nod to the fact Hanna felt it was important enough to mention to Isabel during the Christmas party. ) 

First Reference: 

Hanna drove slowly the rest of the way home, taking deep, cleansing breaths. After gunning the car up her family’s driveway, she nearly crashed into a line of vehicles she didn’t recognize. There had to be about fifteen sedans, SUVs, and crossovers parked in the circular drive. Then she noticed something blinking by the garage. Christmas lights. And was that a glow-in-the-dark Santa and an inflatable gingerbread man in the front yard? She took tentative steps toward the house. Dot, wearing some kind of bizarre headpiece, yipped at her feet when she walked inside. Wait. Were those reindeer antlers? Hanna scooped him up and stared at the two plush stalks on his head. Each was tipped with a tiny jingle bell. “Who did this to you?” Hanna whispered, ripping them off. Dot just licked her face. She looked around the living room and gasped. Holly leaves snaked around the banister. A mechanical Mrs. Claus waved from the console table that had once held Hanna’s mother’s austere ceramic vases. A tall, tinsel-laden tree stood in the corner, and the fireplace, which Hanna couldn’t remember the family ever using, was ablaze. “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” played on the stereo at maximum volume, and the whole house smelled like honey-glazed ham. “Hello?” Hanna called out. Laughter floated out from the kitchen, first Isabel’s goose-honk chortle, then her dad’s booming guffaw. Hanna rounded the corner. The kitchen was packed with people holding champagne flutes and appetizer plates filled with mini quiches and wedges of Brie. Many of them wore Santa hats, including Hanna’s dad. Isabel stood in the corner, wearing a red velvet dress tipped with Mrs. Claus white fur on the cuffs and hem, and Kate had on a tight-fitting red jersey sheath and black-and-white Kate Spade heels. Mistletoe hung from the chandelier, a carafe of mulled cider sat on the counter, and plates and plates of the most delicious-looking Christmas cookies and appetizers filled the island. Isabel spied Hanna and glided over. “Hanna! Feliz Navidad! O Tannenbaum! Merry Christmas!” Hanna sniffed. “Um, actually, I’m Jewish. And so is my father.” Isabel blinked dumbly, like she couldn’t comprehend that anyone, let alone her own fiancé, could celebrate anything other than Christmas. Mr. Marin appeared at Isabel’s side. “Hey, sweetie,” he said, ruffling Hanna’s hair. Hanna stared at him incredulously. “Since when do you celebrate Christmas?” She said the word like she might have said Satan’s birthday. Mr. Marin crossed his arms over his chest defensively. “I’ve been celebrating it with Isabel and Kate for the past few years. I told Kate to tell you.” “Well, she didn’t,” Hanna said flatly. “We do the Twelve Days of Christmas every year. We always kick it off with a bash.” Isabel took a sip of champagne. “It’s a wonderful tradition. We started early this year with tonight—kind of a housewarming-meets-Christmas thing.” “And we’d like you to be a part of the tradition too, of course,” Mr. Marin added. Hanna stared at all of the red and green paraphernalia. Her family had never been that religious, but they lit menorah candles every night of Hanukkah. On Christmas Day, they ordered Chinese takeout, watched movie marathons, and went on a long family bike ride if the weather was decent. She liked those traditions.

Second Mention: 

She pulled into the driveway of her house, wanting nothing more than to crawl into bed and watch hours and hours of bad TV. Strangely, her father’s car was still in the driveway—not at Longwood Gardens. And the Christmas decorations that had festooned the front of the property were gone. When she opened the front door, it no longer smelled like fresh pine and cinnamon sticks but more like . . . potato pancakes? “Hanna!” Mr. Marin appeared from the kitchen. “There you are! Come in, come in! We have a surprise for you!” He whisked Hanna through the living room, but not before she noticed that the mechanical Mrs. Claus had vanished, the Christmas tree was unlit, and the stockings that had hung over the fireplace—there were monogrammed ones for Isabel, Kate, and Hanna’s dad, and a blank one presumably for Hanna—had been taken down. The old silver menorah Bubbe Marin had given Hanna’s parents sat on the mantel. Three candles blazed. “What’s going on?” Hanna asked suspiciously. Mr. Marin turned Hanna toward the dining room. There was a huge spread of food on the table, and Kate and Isabel were sitting in high-backed chairs, tepid smiles on their faces. “Surprise!” Mr. Marin crowed. “Happy Hanna-kah!” Hanna blinked at the items on the table. There were all the traditional Hanukkah foods her grandmother used to serve: latkes, jelly donuts called sufganiyot, kugel, chocolate coins, and a large brisket. Off to the side were the old dreidels she and her cousins had spun for hours, turning the game into a kind of truth or dare—if the dreidel fell on the gimel side, Tamar, her younger cousin, had to steal a dollar out of her mother’s wallet, and so on. A blue foil banner with Star of David cutouts was draped across the windows, and candles glowed around the room. Small gifts wrapped in silver paper sat on everyone’s plates. “I thought you guys were going to Santa’s Village,” Hanna said slowly. “Oh, we can do that any day,” Mr. Marin said. “I thought you might be a little upset since we’re doing so many Christmas activities, so we thought we’d celebrate our holiday tonight! Hanukkah—or Hanna-kah!” He gestured to the food on the table. “Kate and Isabel did some baking this evening, though some of this came from the kosher deli near Ferra’s Cheesesteaks.” “Your dad says you know all of the Hanukkah stories, Hanna,” Isabel said politely. “I’d love to hear them.” “This is all so nice.” Hanna’s heart expanded, just like the Grinch’s. This was definitely the nicest thing her dad had done for her in a long, long time. Her father passed around plates, and everyone began serving themselves latkes and pieces of brisket bathed in sauce. Hanna took a moderate amount of food, feeling virtuous from boot camp. Wine was poured—even Hanna and Kate got some—and everyone opened their gifts. Kate and Hanna got gift cards to Fermata Spa. Isabel got a small Christmas tree–shaped charm to add to her silver Pandora bracelet. Mr. Marin had given himself a new Swiss Army knife. He immediately unfolded the scissors and cut the tag off of Isabel’s bauble. Then, Mr. Marin launched into stories about Bubbe Marin, who used to make the best potato pancakes in the world. “We used to go over there every night of Hanukkah,” he explained. “She’d always have huge gifts for Hanna.” “Isn’t that sweet,” Isabel trilled, looking surprised, as though she’d never imagined someone would shower Hanna with gifts. “And she had this African gray parrot, Morty,” Mr. Marin went on, spearing a latke. “He knew every swearword in the world.” “He was crazy!” Hanna giggled. “I think I learned some new ones from him!” “And he loved to watch those tabloid shows—what were they called?” Mr. Marin’s face was flushed. “E! News,” Hanna repeated. “He was obsessed with Giuliana Rancic. Remember? He said she was such a pretty bitch in that crazy bird voice!” “Who’s Giuliana Rancic?” Isabel asked, blinking quickly. Hanna’s father was too busy shaking with laughter to answer. Hanna laughed too, also not bothering to fill Isabel in. It felt nice to have an inside joke with her father again, something from their lives before Isabel and Kate. They continued eating, sharing stories about Hanna’s grandmother’s obsessions with yard sales, animal figurines, and her crush on Bob Barker from The Price Is Right. By the time the meal was over, Hanna and her dad kept bursting into laughter but not bothering to explain themselves. Isabel rose to clear the table, but Mr. Marin waved her to sit down. “I can clean up,” he said.

Third Reference: 

Now, Hanna sighed. After her new family had thrown Hanna a Hanukkah bone a few nights ago, everything had gone back to normal shortly afterward. The Twelve Days of Christmas nonsense had resumed, though Hanna had been able to get out of a lot of it because of boot camp.

[phebia]

Making Family, Prologue

So, I can’t really write for shit but I love to do it. Normally, I just write for myself and don’t publish any of my fics but I figured posting a few couldn’t hurt. I’m almost done watching On My Block (I know I’m late to the party ya’ll) and I’ve had this fic idea bouncing around my head for a while now. If you read it, I hope you enjoy it hehe.

People like to pretend that family is all about blood. The DNA in your core is what decides who your family is, and that's just how it is. Few people know the truth behind that rule. Know that it's a blatant lie. Blood doesn't mean shit. The people I shared my blood line with were far from what family should be. My parents were never physically abusive. A hand never struck me and I never had a bruise courtesy of them. That didn't mean that they were good, though. Words can hit just as hard as fists. Every syllable knocked me to the ground and it got harder to get to my feet each time. Neglect wasn't a word I liked to use, but it was exactly what the lawyer explained it as in court. My parents were mean when they were present but most of the time they were gone. Their presence in my life wasn't strong or positive. I wasn't quite sure how it started. If I had to guess, I'd say that Ruth and Arthur Connelly- the elderly couple next door, finally decided to speak up. They didn't know anything for certain. Not that they had to. It wasn't hard to notice the empty driveway and hear the screaming echoes. It had been a Thursday when she showed up. Caroline Jennings was a fresh-out-of-college social worker. I would eventually learn that I was just her third case. She had blown into my life like a storm, her blonde hair looking more like sunshine. The first thing I noticed about her were her straight teeth, shining as she smiled sweetly at me. I didn't know that taking a few minutes to talk to her would change my life. Dragging an almost 18 year old from a group home to court and back again was harder than Caroline had thought it would be. Her past two cases had been a 5 year old and 2 year old respectively. They hadn't known what was going on. I did. I knew exactly what was happening at every point in time. Caroline had shown up in late April and the judges gavel slammed down for the last time in the end of August. I spent my 18th birthday in a group home full of strangers. Katrina was a kind hearted Latina woman with stern eyes who ran a relatively recent group home all on her own. She didn't ask for help from anyone and she surely didn't need it. I had been there for months but that didn't mean living in a home that wasn't really yours was easy. I wasn't close to the other girls that called the old farm house home. Teenagers were filled with mean comments that would leave a mark if they chose to say them out loud, and they always chose to say them out loud. Apparently mean things were okay as long as it wasn't your parents saying them. I kept out of their way. Minded my own business. Tried to make my plush form as small as possible no matter how fruitless my efforts were, all in an attempt to be ignored. It was funny that after so many years of being alone, I became comfortable in the isolation. In the months it took for the lawyers and social workers in charge of my case to find someone willing to take me in I had legally become an adult, but Caroline had kept my case open as a favour to me. I may have been legal, but it would've been nearly impossible for me to survive on the streets of Waterdown alone. I didn't know much about my extended family and it was impossible to blame anyone for not wanting to take in an 18 year old stranger, but that didn't make the ache of being unwanted any less painful. It was on a late May day that I first heard the name Geny Martinez. Caroline had sat me down and did her best to explain how exactly we were related but all I caught was that it was through my mom's side and she could be referred to as a distant aunt of mine. That also seemed to be the only Caroline understood herself. The tremor of surprise that first hit me when I learned I had family in California looking to take me in lingered for days on end. It still clung to my nerves during the first week of summer when I first met Geny and her husband Ruben. Caroline had told me they were being flown out but it didn't make looking into her brown eyes any easier. Behind her beautiful face there was stress and concern, Ruben on the other hand seemed much more relaxed. Leading them through town was awkward, but sitting down in the local Starbucks and actually having a conversation was much worse. Geny had confessed she didn't know who my mother was or how we were related (a trend that seemed popular) but she was still willing to take me in. I couldn't help but laugh when she had warned me about Freeridge and told me she wouldn't blame if I refused their offer. The thought of living with strangers pulled my stomach into knots of anxiety but it was a much better option than fending for myself on the streets of Waterdown, which I undoubtedly knew I'd have to do soon if the Martinez family didn't work. The next day the couple was gone, but they had taken my phone number with them. I didn't hear from Ruben very often, Geny on the other hand texted me multiple times a day and slowly filled me in on her family and Freeridge. The first time I visited Freeridge was in the early days of June and I visited once more over the summer. My last visit had ended in the early weeks of July and I left feeling decently comfortable with my new... I wasn't sure what to call them, but family seemed to be the easiest word to use. I was set to return in a month, this time for good.

My first introduction to California had been a blast of hot air to the face. A part of me had been hoping that Los Angeles would've cooled down in the time that I was away, but Ruby had drilled the weather patterns of Freeridge into my head and I should've listened to him. He even suggested I get my hands on an entirely new wardrobe if possible. According to the young Latino all of Canada was frigid year round and no clothing suitable for my hometown would be fitting for my new one. I had laughed at the harebrained boy but my tie dye hoodie and black leggings earned me some looks from strangers in the airport and I quickly decided I probably should've listened to him. My slight familiarity of LAX made grabbing my luggage a less anxious process than it was the first time I had done it, despite the fact that I now had a few more bags with me. My life may not have been grand, but I needed more than a single suitcase to move it to a new country. With a small grunt I heaved my final suitcase off of the baggage claim belt, and after a brief scan of my belongings I turned, starting to look around for Geny or Ruben. However, I quickly froze in place when my eyes landed on a small familiar form marching towards me. My sunglasses gave Ruby a green tint but he and his scowl were unmistakable. "Hey..." My hopeful greeting faded off as my distant cousin stopped before me and gave me a judgemental once over, then turned his attention to my luggage without a word. "I told you not to wear your cold weather clothes. No one listens to me!" All I could do was stare as he shook his head to himself and struggled to get a good grip on a couple of my bags. "I knew that you'd mess up. You're lucky I brought these for you." With a large flounce of his arms he had dropped the bags and turned to hold a pair of simple, two strap, white sandals in my face. I quickly snatched the shoes from him with an unimpressed grimace and uncomfortable slouch in my shoulders due to the attention he had gained us. Ruby ignored my displeasure and went back to my belongings with a dramatic roll of his eyes, now muttering to himself in Spanish. "Easy on the Spanish, bro. She's a gringo, remember?" A new voice took my attention off of Ruby and it only took me a second to recognise Mario, who had wandered up to us at some point during his brother's rambling. A relieved smile pulled at my lips at the sight of him. Mario was my age and his laid back demeanour had made him much more approachable than his younger brother, or anyone else in Freeridge really. His mom had coerced him into showing me around Freeridge during my first visit and our time spent together had turned us into surprisingly close companions. He was undeniably my first, and best, friend in town, and he'd be damned if anyone tried to take the title from him. And although his words were true, I couldn't help but scowl at the term while I moved to embrace him. "Teach me Spanish, then." It was a discussion we had often, ever since I had expressed a desire to learn the language after quickly feeling out of place in the Martinez household. Mario had always laughed at that and claimed that I would be a terrible student, whomst he would never waste his precious time on. "I have no time." He shook his head and smiled at me as we both pulled away from the hug. This time though, his words were true. He was headed off to Berkeley tomorrow and although it was a huge accomplishment, a part of me couldn't help but wish he wouldn't go. With Mario gone I'd likely be stuck hanging out with Ruby and his friends. There was nothing wrong with the soon to be freshman's, other than the fact that I was a good four years older than them. But that was something I'd have to get over. Ruby was mature for his age and I was in no position to be selfish. Mario already put off his departure by a full day just so he could take a few hours to help me unpack and, in his words give me, "A real welcoming home." I rolled my eyes at his ever persistent refusal, shaking my head and turning away so that he wouldn't be able to see the smile on my face. "I'll teach you Spanish, Selina." Ruby had joined my side, looking up at me with my black and white backpack slung over his shoulders, seemingly over his earlier fashion fury. "You already have the name for it. Selina." The thick Spanish accent he accentuated my name with and tilt of his head brought a loud burst of laughter out of me. "Ah, so you're over my wardrobe." I placed a hand on his head and gestured at my hoodie, managing to grind my knuckles against his head and mess his hair up before he escaped my reach. "You know what? You can find a new teacher." He sassed, spinning around and marching way without hesitation, leaving me to grab a suitcase and catch up with him, both of us leaving Mario behind to take care of the rest of the bags. In a few long strides I caught up to his short form, wrapping my arm around his neck from behind and pressing my cheek firmly against his temple. "I missed you, Ruby." I smiled softly, tilting my head to press a swift kiss to his forehead, remaining quiet about the goofy smile I spotted forming on his face. Together we walked in silence, the constant noise of the airport drowning out the way my black vans scuffed against the linoleum floors. "Hey, do you think we should help your brother?" My sudden remembrance of Mario caused me to stop and glance back. My brown eyes scanned the crowds around us, the younger boy also turning to look for his brother. Eventually Mario walked into our sights, scowling harshly and dragging more bags behind him than both Ruby and I both had combined. "Nah." Ruby decided, shaking his head and beginning to walk once more, dragging my plush form along with him. "I still can't believe your mom let you two come pick me up, alone." I had been talking about my surprise airport escorts for the majority of the ride back to Freeridge, and I was sure both boys were overly irritated with me. But, knowing Geny meant knowing how protective she was of her children, even if one of them was an adult about to move away. Things just weren't making sense. Ruby had interrupted my constant musing with stories about what had went down while I was gone, but the distraction didn't last nearly as long as he had hoped. After his brother's failed attempt at silencing me, Mario resorted to steadily cranking the radio up until it drowned out my voice. But all that did was give us all a slight headache and I was still talking as we pulled up to the house. "What? Why? I'm responsible." My eyebrows raised at Mario's offended voice crack, choosing to share a silent look with Ruby instead of doing my teasing aloud. Despite my effort, the older Latino caught the exchange and scoffed loudly, practically shoving me out of the car. "Get out of my sight." I lingered, watching him and Ruby move to the trunk, hesitant to leave the brothers to lug all my things inside themselves. "We got this." Mario caught me looking and waved his hands at me, shooing me away from them once more. "Let the muscle handle it, Selina." Ruby nodded at me and flexed his arms, and that was all the encouragement I needed to leave them be. With a grin and shake of my head I shuffled up the walkway, and debated knocking on the door for a moment but Geny had scolded me whenever I did that so I ending up opting to walk in unannounced. "Surprise!" Confetti was popped in my face and a loud gasp burst out of me at the sudden shock. My heart raced in my chest as my shoulders heaved with uneven breath, my eyes wide and looking over the group of people smiling widely at me. I recognised most of them within a second prompting a laugh of relief to spill past my lips, my laughter causing everyone else to cheer once more. "Welcome home, mija." Geny was the first person to move, rushing towards me with her arms open wide and a glowing smile on her face. "Hi, Aunt Geny." I groaned into the hug but forced a grin onto my face, nearly sighing in relief when she released me from her iron grip. She continued to coo over me, her hands holding my face and squishing my cheeks together until Ruben arrived to greet and save me. I watched the couple walk away with soft eyes until the sound of someone tsking reached my ears. Turning my head to the right revealed Ruby's friend Jamal shaking his head at me, his lanky arms crossed over his chest. "A hoodie? Girl, in this weather? You must be crazy." I sighed and looked to the popcorn ceiling, pushing the sleeves of my sweater to my elbows. Maybe I was starting to sweat a bit, but I'd never admit it to any of the California natives who were just waiting for my admission of defeat with baited breath. "Save it. I already got the lecture from, Ruby." I held my hand out to silence him before he could get another word out, a tiny grin warming my features. "I bet you did." He shook his head but a moment later he was smiling back at me. "Welcome to Freeridge, Selina. Permanently this time!" I thanked him sweetly and promised to come back later with my review of his dad's barbecue. I weaved my way through the house, greeting neighbours with varying levels of enthusiasm depending on my familiarity with them. At some point the twins had stolen me away to play with them, but I was sent right back into the fray when Geny walked in on me being forced to help build a block castle. Not long after leaving the youngest Martinez's behind I collapsed onto the couch next to the oldest one. My head lazily rested against the back of the couch, tilting so that I could look at the woman beside me. Her brown eyes were already fixed on me and she reached out to squeeze my cheek, much like her daughter had. The two of us looked at each other in silence for a minute, Abuelita eventually breaking it. "You want a hit? My stuff's in the basement." I laughed at her offer, nodding my head and promising her that we were on for tonight. The silence between us was a welcome break from the surprise party and there was no need to interrupt it. We were both more than content to watch the people milling about, her hand gently resting over my own which was sat in my lap. I had been focused on watching Ruby and Jamal do their best to ditch one of the neighbourhood girls around their age, who was very obviously invading their personal bubble, when I was distracted by the woman to my right once again. "I think you're going to like it here, mija." Abuelita's voice was quiet and soft but it rang out in my head clearly, a reminder that there was no more going back to my old life. "I hope so."

[wwhbtsjin]

Meeting Your Family

Pairing: Jin x Reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Genre: Fluff with a lowkey smut

a/n:I used to write a long time ago but you know, I wanted to keep writing. So I revived my account LOL.

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It’s been three years since you moved to Seoul for college and instead of having regrets about moving to a whole new country, you loved it. The culture was amazing, South Korea was absolutely beautiful, and the food was great!

Life wasn’t lonely either. Sure the first few weeks took some getting used to, but you found your people right away. You couldn’t forget the first friend you made in school, Jung Hoseok, who was one of the biggest rays of sunshine you’ve ever met. He was your lab partner for your introductory chemistry course and from that day on you two were two peas in a pod! Time passed and next thing you know, you were part of his friend group which included six other guys with him, Jeon Jungkook, Kim Taehyung, Park Jimin, Kim Namjoon, Min Yoongi, and Kim Seokjin.

Ah yes, Kim Seokjin a.k.a Jin. When you first met him, you thought he was just another pretty face who had his life all written out for him. In fact, he got on your nerves a little bit when it came to him always admiring his face and bragging about it. But that didn’t stop him from trying to get to know you more. In fact, the more you ran away, the more he tried to get close to you. But you never stopped him. And because you never stopped him, you got to see how genuine of a person he was. How caring, goofy and fun he was. And in the end, you two fell for each other quickly and hard.

~

It’s three years into your relationship now and you and Jin are as strong as ever. You both had just finished your third year of Undergrad and as Summer vacation was approaching, you two had decided to take a vacation before the stress of your last year of college started to roll in. Coincidentally, it was your grandma’s 80th birthday and a family reunion was being planned. You thought it was the perfect opportunity to bring Seokjin home to see where you grew up and to meet your family. 

“Oppa! Are you excited to meet my family?” You asked as the two of you settled into your seats on the plane. It was going to be a long flight considering you guys were on your way to the States, so you both dressed fairly comfy.

“I...am...nervous! What if they don’t like me? What if they don’t think I’m good enough for you? What if I screw up on this trip? What if the gifts I bought them weren’t good enough?” He kept on rambling on and you thought it was the cutest thing. When he rambles, he tends to get very...bouncy.

You placed your hand on his and giggled, “Oppa you didn’t have to buy EVERYONE gifts you know that right? Even though my parents only have my older brother and I, my aunts are gonna want gifts, my uncles will, my cousins will, my parents friends will...the list goes on! What matters is that we packed the gift for my grandma...which you did right?”

Aggressively Jin pounded on his chest, “Of course! It kinda saddens me Jagi that you’re suspecting that I forgot it…” He pouted with his luscious lips and you couldn’t help but kiss them.

“I just wanted to make sure!” you snuggled into his side, “I’m just really excited and anxious and nervous, and hungry…” 

Jin chuckled and kissed your forehead, “I know, I am too. But this will be a great trip, I’m sure of it”.

~

Please return your seats to the upright position and fasten your seatbelts as we prepare for landing.

You opened up the window to the plane and sure enough, the familiar aerial view of your hometown took over, “Oppa look! There’s downtown! Oh look there’s the harbor! There’s my old school! I’m home!” The excitement started to take over you and you held Jin’s hand, “I’m really home!” 

“Wow this definitely isn’t Seoul, but it’s still pretty amazing.” He’s been to the states before but this is his first time visiting where you’re from.

Soon enough, you two got your luggage and your rental car and were on the way to your hotel. Since it was a big celebration for your grandma, families from all over were in town, so your parents house was full. Plus Jin and you figured that since you two were still on vacation, a little privacy wouldn’t hurt you two.

“Let’s see, there’s my Aunt and Uncle who drove from Los Angeles. Their kids live here and they have kids now! My brother and his girlfriend are coming! My cousins from Chicago are coming! My grandma’s best friend who’s basically my grandma!...” You started listening off everyone to Jin as he drove you guys to the hotel.

“Woah woah woah Jagi! That’s a lot! I’m not going to remember this! You have to show me their faces and explain to me right then and there!” Jin said as he pulled into the hotel which wasn’t too far from the airport.

“Sorry Oppa! Try your best tomorrow! You got this!” You smiled and kissed his cheek.

“I’M DRIVING!! PLEASE DON’T DISTRACT ME BECAUSE I WANNA KISS YOU NOW! UGH!” 

Giggling you reassured him, “Oppa we have the rest of the day to ourselves. So the first order of business, the hotel room!” You winked and teased him.

“Good, cause 13 hours on that plane is too long.”

~

Your alarm started going off at 9 A.M., the party was at 11, in time for lunch.

“Oppa~” you cooed sleepily as you snuggled into a shirtless Jin, “Oppaaaaaa we have to get uppppppp. I need to take a showerrrrrr.”

Jin hugged you tightly and snuggled his face into your hair, “Ughhh five more minutes Jagi pleaseeeee. I want to keep holding you and relax a little more before I go through the stress of learning all of your family members' names.” His grip around your waist got tighter as he pulled you even closer into him and at the same time...you felt something down there poke you.

“Yah!” You playfully slapped him and sat up, “I’m going in the shower! You take care of that while I’m gone!”

“Fine!” Jin pouted as you playfully walked into the bathroom. 

The shower has always been a thinking spot for you and you couldn’t help but think of the possibilities that could happen today. Everything could go great and your family could adore Jin. Everything could go terribly bad and you and Jin would be returning to Seoul as soon as possible. What if your dad didn’t like him? What if he didn’t get along well with your older brother? What if one of your cousins tried to flirt with him? He is gorgeous after all.

“Jagi! Hurry up! I need to shower!” You heard Jin open the door to come and brush his teeth. You two have been together for 3 years now and have definitely seen each other 100% if you know what that means, so leaving the bathroom door for you two to walk in on each other was nothing new. 

“Sorry Oppa!!” You stepped out of the shower with the towel wrapped around you, “Can y-” but before you could finish Jin wrapped his hands around your waist and pulled you close so your faces were only centimeters apart.

“Mmm my Jagi is so irresistible in this state” he started trailing kisses down your neck, “You taste just like strawberries”. His favorite fruit, and coincidentally, the scent of your body wash. He backed you up against the counter of the bathroom and his hands started toying with the fold of your towel, “I could easily take this off and take you right here” You felt a warmth growing in your stomach and your cheeks were heating up.

But you didn’t have much time. If you were gonna make love to Jin, you wanted to have lots of time to be passionate with each other. 

So you smirked and whispered in his ear, “Tell you what Oppa, if you’re good today, I’ll definitely reward you when we get back here later” and with that, you playfully skipped out of the bathroom, “Now finish getting ready”. 

Jin just stood there with his mouth wide open, “Yah! You can’t just tease me like that!”

~

Your mom told you and Jin to wear something colorful and bright to the party. So you decided to go with your favorite sky blue sundress and Jin was the one who wanted to match, so he decided to go simple with black slacks, a sky blue dress shirt and a blazer. 

The two of you pulled up to the party venue and Jin sighed, “Oh boy...here we go!” he said as he parked the rental car, “I still can’t believe you teased me like that earlier…” 

“Like I said, be good Oppa and you get what you want!” Jin opened the door for you and helped you out of the car, but before you could make your way to the venue you heard your older cousin call out for you.

“(Y/N)! Is that really you? You made it?!” This cousin was like a big sister to you, one that you never had, “How was the flight? When did you fly in? Why didn’t you tell me?”

You giggled and held her hands, “I thought my parents told you? It was sent in the family group chat after all?”

“Oh yeah...wait a second...is this the Jin that you post photos with? Your boyfriend of three years whom we never met? Is that why I had to make a name tag for him?!” she ran over to Jin, “Wow you’re handsome! Nice to meet you” 

“H-hello” Jin smiled warmly, “I’m sorry my English isn’t strong yet”.

“You’re doing just fine! Thank you for coming! I’m sure the rest of the family can’t wait to meet you!” she smiled and turned back to you, “ I have to help my husband bring in the desserts so I’ll see you later. Nice to meet you Jin!” 

“That was only one cousin...and she has a husband who I haven’t met.” Jin looked around, “And there’s SOOOOO many cars which means there’s SOOOOO many people here. Oh...my gosh….I don’t have think.” 

You intertwined your fingers with his, “You got this Oppa, now let’s go inside and greet everyone else.” 

The two of you turned and walked away into the venue. Flowers served as the centerpieces for the tables, blue and gold was the color scheme since they were your Grandma’s favorite colors. You turned to sign the guest book before anything else.

(Y/N) and Kim Seokjin. Grandma I made it home for your birthday!

After, you dragged Jin to where the two of you would be sitting. You were still fairly early so not many people were there yet, but when you approached your table, one of Jin’s biggest fears was there. It was your older brother and he sure did not want to screw this one up.

“(Y/N)!” Your older brother smiled and both him and his girlfriend got up, “I’m so happy to see my little sister!” You and your brother were carbon copies of each other. The only difference was your age and gender.

“Hi. I’m home” You smiled cheekily.

Your brother walked right past you and straight to Jin. They saw eye to eye. Those freaking giants…

“You must be Seokjin?”

Jin took a deep breath and nodded, “Yes I am. Nice to meet you.” He held out his hand for your brother to shake. 

Your brother raised an eyebrow and nodded approvingly, “Nice to meet you too. I hope you’re taking care of my sister. If not I’ll fly to Seoul and beat you to a pulp.”

After your brother said that you playfully smacked him and took Jin away, “You did great meeting my brother Oppa! But are you ready for your next challenge? Cause it’s time to meet my parents!” You squeezed his hand reassuringly and continued to drag him towards more people.

You found your mom and dad finishing the dessert arrangements, “Mommy! Daddy! I’m hoooommmeee!” You squealed as you ran up to them. 

“Welcome home! Are you staying home??” Your parents were of course happy for you in Seoul but they missed you terribly, “Oh and is this Seokjin?”

“I’m not staying home, I have to finish school! And yes, this is my boyfriend!” You smiled up at Jin.

He gulped and smiled, “H-hello. My name is Seokjin. Nice to meet you.” He shook your dad’s hand and as he was about to shake your mom’s she pulled him in for a hug.

“Sorry I’m a hugger. And since I’m hugging you, that means I approve of you dating my daughter.” She smiled.

But Jin looked a little lost. You realized you had to translate a bit of that for him. But he was smiling nonetheless.

“Last test I promise Oppa. It’s the matriarch herself. My grandma.” Now your grandma may have been turning 80, but she still acts like she’s 40. Your grandma stood at the head table, dressed in an extravagant gown. She was with your oldest cousin and his kids.

“(Y/N)!” He exclaimed as you dragged Jin over, “You made it! How was the flight?”

“It was good! Long...but good!” You gave him a hug, “This is my boyfriend Seokjin!”

Your cousin gave Jin a visibly firm handshake, “It’s nice to meet you.” It looked like the handshake was really firm cause you saw Jin flinch a little, but nothing too noticeable.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” Jin smiled and didn’t let the surprise get to him.

“Oookaaay. I think you’re hurting my boyfriend.” You separated their hands and looked at your cousin, “He has to meet grandma anyways!”

The two of you turned and you engulfed your grandma in a hug, “Awh man grandma I missed you! You look stunning!”  

“Thank you my dear,” Your grandma smiled and looked behind you, “Who’s this handsome man that you brought with you?”

In Jin’s mind he thought, All right, handsome. It’s a good start. She recognized my outstanding face.

“This is Seokjin. My boyfriend that I met at school.” You pulled him closer and immediately your grandma engulfed him in a hug.

“I’m a hugger too!” She patted Jin’s back and let him go, “It’s nice to meet you. I hope you’re taking good care of my granddaughter.” 

Jin smiled and nodded, “It is nice to meet you too. Happy Birthday.”

After talking for a bit with your grandma and some other family members, you and Jin began to walk back to your table, “I think you’re doing just fine. So far it seems like everyone here adores you. Well don’t question any of my cousins or my brother, they like you, trust me.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so,” you grabbed his hand reassuringly, “They’ve never been this approving before. But you’re amazing so I wouldn’t see why not. It’s hard to find a reason not to like you.”

“Jagi you flatter me,” Jin squeezed your hand back, “I’m glad I’m doing good. But now I need to just survive through this party then I get my reward!”

You felt heat flush through your cheeks, “Shh! Not around my family! Plus I want to go somewhere after the party.”

“Okay okayyyy, but Jagi?” Jin looked down at you warmly, “I love you.”

You smiled back, “I love you too Oppa.”

~

The entire party went really smoothly. Some of your nieces and nephews fell in love with Jin because of his height and even started using his arms as swings and monkey bars. Jin and your brother got along fairly well because they were both able to bond over gaming. He got along well with your parents because they loved the fact that he was a goal driven man. Your cousins all adored him for how loving he was to you.

But soon enough the party ended and you and Jin were free for the day. Before you guys decided to head back to your hotel though, you wanted to take Jin to a favorite spot of yours that you used to go to back when you still lived in the states.

It was a viewpoint that overlooked the ocean and the way that the sun reflected on it, it was just magical.

“Whenever I just needed some alone time, I would come here, sit in my car and just listen to music.” You smiled as you and Jin sat in the trunk of your rental car just looking at the view. There were beautiful points all over South Korea but this one hits differently because it was your spot. “I would forget all my worries. All the stress. I always would feel relaxed here.”

You cuddled into Jin’s side as he had his arm around your shoulder. Your heads were leaning against each other and the steady sound of you guys breathing went perfectly in sync with the peaceful serenity around you guys.

“It’s beautiful here Jagi. I would come here if I was able to also,” he kissed the top of your head, “But now that you have me, I don’t want you to have those feelings anymore. When you’re with me, I want to help you forget about your worries. I want to help take your stress away. I want you to feel relaxed with me.”

“And I do Oppa. Honestly, moving to Seoul and meeting Hobi, the boys and you really was the best thing to happen to me. I’m a much better person now than I was in the past. I’m so much happier with you now,” you looked up at him and smiled, “I really mean it Oppa. You’re the best.”

Jin leaned down and kissed you warmly, “And you’re the greatest treasure in my life. I love you so much. I really do.”

It’s true. You’ve never felt this happy up until Jin came into your life. He always knew how to make you smile and laugh. You knew he loved you genuinely. And you were the same to him. He treasured everything you gave him, because everything from you was truly genuine.

You wrapped your arms around him and gave him a hug, “I know Oppa. I love you”.

After sitting for a good 20 minutes Jin took a deep breath and whispered in your ear, “Can I claim my reward now?”

[sanababes]

Requested by: anon

Mine

Pairings: fem!reader x Choi Sooyoung / Joy

Warnings: nothing much, just some (not really) mafia au scenario

/ it's my first writing about this so yeah, please bear with it and I couldn't really stick to the plot hehe /

-----------

Park Sooyoung, the youngest underground mafia boss in Seoul had been keeping her eyes on a one specific woman. But due to the conflicts in her schedule, she couldn't have time to arrange a proper meeting with you, Kang Y/n. She also has a small knowledge about you that makes her more excited to meet you personally.

Meanwhile, you're the daughter of Kang Seungwoo (just a random name lol) who is one of the prestigious individuals when it comes to political status. The Kang family haven't been involved in unnecessary rumors or news, in other words they are strict and timid with their actions. You really didn't care about it and you despise people who show their interest on you for their own sake or for money.

Your cold and ignorant attitude had been your own bestfriend when interacting with people which you hate the most. When your family is invited in an event, you would keep a reserved aura. Luckily, your cousin Hyewon is there to accompany you for the whole time.

Today is a rather interesting day since it's your 21st year of living in this unwholesome world.

You were awoken by Miss Choi, your beloved nanny since you came out of your mother's womb. The older tapped your shoulder gently that made you slur inaudible sounds.

"Goodmorning, young master. It's already 1 o'clock in the afternoon. Your father is expecting you in the dining room as fast as possible"

(Bruh does that even make sense lol, morning then noon i-)

After a few seconds of adjusting your sight into the bright lighting, you opened your eyes then brushed your hand through your ruffled hair. Miss Choi prepared a warm bath for you to freshen up and start your special day. You got up up from your bed slowly then entered the bathroom sluggishly. You removed the pieces of clothing on your body then dipped yourself into the water. A sigh escaped from your lips as you closed your eyes from the tranquilizing feeling sipping through your skin.

It took you roughly 20 minutes to get yourself dry and dressed up casually. You strutted gracefully downstairs and saw your parents chatting as they ate lunch peacefully.

"Hi darling, happy birthday to you!" Your mother hugged you tightly then gave a kiss on your cheek.

"Thanks mom" you smiled lightly.

"Happy birthday, Y/n" your father greeted.

You thanked him then joined them for lunch. They talked about business things and you would occasionally answer their questions, stuffs like that.

When you're all done, they left immediately for a quick meeting at the city hall with 2 bodyguards guiding them to a black Mercedes.

You looked around your spacious living room and decided to call your bestfriend Yujin to come over. The latter agreed quickly and was on the way already.

You sat comfortably against the classy couch and waited for Yujin to arrive. You fished out your phone then scrolled through Insta then you saw Sooyoung's recent post.

"Hmm, she's cute..." you mumbled nonchalantly.

"Who's cute, Y/n/n?"

You flinched and almost fell when you saw Yujin peeking behind your shoulder.

"Bitch! When did you even got here?" You asked.

"I just came in a minute ago. Miss Choi had let me in" the latter smiled cheekily.

"You almost gave me a heart attack..." you grumbled while putting your hand over your chest.

"I'm sorry, so who's cute?" Yujin sat beside you and waited for your answer.

"Uhh, no one" you managed to say.

The girl looked at you suspiciously then glanced at your phone.

"Ahh I see, so Park Sooyoung aka Joy is your type now huh?" She teased while nudging your shoulder.

A blush crept into your cheeks as you tried to deny what your bestfriend said.

"What? I don't know what you're talking about" you pressed the home button of your phone nervously.

"Yeah yeah, don't worry I won't tell anyone"

Yujin looked at you, trying not to laugh at your priceless reaction. You just shook your head and grabbed the remote of the TV.

"Oh! Happy birthday you jerk" she added.

"Yeah, I thought you wouldn't remember" you said sarcastically.

"Oh come on, how can I forget my baby's bday" she pinched your cheeks while making some cringy noise.

You whined and tried to pry her hands off.

"Yah! if you don't put your hands down imma kill you" you threatened.

"Fine, fine. So why did you called me over? Your party will not start until the sun sets though"

'Oh right, the party yey...'

"Ughh, I dont want to goooo" you complained like child.

"Duh of course you need to go, it's your own celebration for fuck sake" Yujin stated with an 'as a matter of fact' tone.

Your parents prepared a party for your special day. Many influential people are invited and Sooyoung was one of them. You had seen her before from fashion events that was held by her own company.

She was pretty popular and has been known as an independent woman. You also by the way, is interested to know her more which is quite rare.

"What are you going to wear Y/n?" Yujin suddenly asked.

"Uh just some suit that I bought recently"

You weren't a fan of girly stuffs so yeah, you're wearing suits frequently.

"Hmm, what should I wear then?" The latter said while scratching her not so itchy chin.

"Just say that you want to borrow my clothes again" you chuckled as you smacked Yujin's head playfully.

"Oh man, how did you know?"

You just snickered at her antics .

"I know you so well Yujin-ah" the latter started to pout like a child.

"Shall we get ready early instead? I'm bored" you yawned wearily.

Yujin agreed as you both walked upstairs towards your room.

---- time skip ----

You're currently sipping a vintage Vinfolio wine as Hyewon and Yujin kept blabbering between you. Your parents in the other hand, are talking with some acquaintance from what you can see in your peripheral vision.

Meanwhile, Sooyoung has been glancing at you from time to time with some of her 'secretly' mafia members chatting beside her. The gorgeous woman decided to muster up her courage and strutted towards your table. You noticed her in a short red-sparkled dress which hugged her toned body perfectly. She had confident smile on her lips, determined to make you fall for her.

"Good evening Y/n-ssi, I've been wanting to meet you for a long time" Sooyoung greeted and lend her hand out for a hand shake.

"It goes the same for me, Joy-ssi" you showed your signature smile and held her hand gently.

"Wanna talk somewhere else? It's pretty crowded in here..." the latter suggested as you shared a meaningful look with Hyewon and Yujin which they understood quickly.

"Yeah, sure" you nodded and guided Sooyoung to the nearest balcony within the ginormous event hall.

"So I heard you're planning to collab with the Kim's corporation next month"

"Hmm, we're still discussing about the terms of the company so it's not sure yet" you answered politely.

"I didn't know that Sangwoo is your father" Sooyoung stated while staring at your side profile.

You looked out into the distance and agreed timidly. The latter bit her lips then went closer to you.

"You know what, can we hangout sometimes when you're free?"

You chuckled lightly while swirling your wine glass in a circular motion.

"Are you trying to hit on me Miss Park?" Sooyoung smirked while dragging along your shoulder.

"I mean who wouldn't with someone attractive like you?" She flirted casually.

"Fine, meet me on Friday at Han River park. 6pm sharp Missy" you said while glancing at her.

Sooyoung smiled victoriously and kissed your cheek.

"I'll make you mine soon Y/n, mine..."

~the end~

I didn't sticked to prompt too much, sarry

[crinkliedfries]

can i PLEASE ask about the lizards with swords

yes of course!

alright so. see. in ninth grade i got a lizard (leopard gecko. he’s my sweet darling angel boy and i love him So Much). that year was also generally Wild because there was a lot happening, including but not limited to my father being a jerk about some things*. so my little lizard buddy helped me A Lot through it (which is where the Importance to me comes in. i promise the rest isn’t as serious)

another thing to remember is that i really like swords. and lizards. and lizords (lizards with swords).

*everything.

so, anyways. it’s my friend (from elementary school)’s birthday.

(actually, i think i had joked about it over a misspelling before. but this is when it Really Started)

and i get my (long-suffering, ever-patient) leopard gecko out of his tank and hold him, before—

i have this idea. my mom’s not in the house, so i think, why not? might as well. it’s just a single toothpick.

except that when she comes in, i end up telling her anyways.

so then, a couple days later, my brother gives me a little lego sword. i know what he means, because this is something we’ve both talked about.

i give him a little lego sword.

which, okay, that’s all fine and dandy, until it’s our winter break, right? i get bored (the night before i have to wake up early to go to my cousin’s house in texas) and end up painting this.

because, y’know, i have no impulse control ever in my life and i’m bored. (also, on the collar it says ‘give lizards swords’. the ‘lizords’ is a combination of lizards and swords. the red and black on the sleeve will be explained Soon)

and then we come back home, and my (sweet, loving, always patient, ever long suffering) leopard gecko is about as excited as a little leopard gecko can be. i give him a noble steed for his troubles.

also, he was crowned.

okay, so that’s also fine.

and then my biology teacher gives me a snake. now, in theory, i’d be all for giving him a sword (an idea which has now become a long running not-quite-joke in my family and among my friends), except that 1.) he’s too baby and 2.) we don’t have any that are big enough (we did eventually find some, i’ll post them at the end). however, he does really like curling around my arm.

so he gets his own shout-out on the lizord jacket. which, okay, that’s also okay, that’s even more than okay. but then i get another bearded dragon (he was really sick and didn’t make it, unfortunately)

and he is also “knighted” (by order of The Parent, jerkface’s brigade, #003)

and, well, i’m going to be going to a friend’s house for a birthday party, and one of the things we’re going to be doing is painting jean jackets. i realise that the lizords one needs,,, an update.

we’ve upgraded to “harpetiles” (herptiles with harpe swords [any sword is still okay to use though]) and “rapiertiles” (reptiles with rapiers [as stated before, any sword works]).

and, well, as stated before, he was sick when we got him. so after he passed, we went to the reptile convention, and i got an ax-olotl (axolotls with axes. unfortunately, i couldn’t ever get it to stand up in his tank, so i don’t have any pictures of him with it) and another bearded dragon.

both were quickly knighted (by order of The Parent, jerkface’s brigade, #004 and #006 respectively. i’ve purposely left out #005 because he was also sick. but yes, he was knighted as well)

and it’s Still A Thing. i’ve jokingly put it into,,, a lot of my writing, because yes. lizards need swords. give all the herptiles any weaponry you can find. i wrote a whole speech about it for english.

(also, i’ve almost hit the image limit, so i’ll rb with pictures of the snake and the second bearded dragon with their swords. and cinnamonstick has also been knighted, he’s had swords—i just can’t find the pictures right now)

[gender-critical-analytical]

Just read a post about cops and the shit these crazy, power hungry beasts do, and I want to share a few stories of my own experiences (I would ask you to keep in mind that I am white, and that I recognize how my white privilege kept me from having far, far worse experiences.) But, here we go:

Scene: my family, consisting of me, my mom, my grandmother, and my infant baby sister, is in our car. It’s an old, busted up vehicle that we got on an incredible bargain of $400, because the dealer was sympathetic to what we had going on in our lives at the time. It was winter, the sun was nearly fully set, and it was snowing heavily. We were driving home from checking out a house for rent nearby, which was a bust, because it wasn’t one we would be able to afford anyway. We were about 6 blocks from our house.

Flash of red and blue and a siren. We pulled over. A male cop approached the driver’s window where my grandmother was, and asked her why we thought he had pulled us over. My grandma played dumb and said she had no idea. We all figured it was because our plates were expired, and yeah, that was part of it.

He tells us that we drove too slow a few roads back, and that he suspected my grandma of being intoxicated. She remained completely polite, but told him that there was a very large, visible patch of ice in the road, and that we had already been approaching a red light. She had her two grandchildren in the car, and would rather be safe than sorry. Michigan winters are nasty, after all, especially when it comes to the roads. He accepted that answer. Then, he brought up the expired plates.

And so, my grandma gave him the short rundown:

“Officer, my family lost our home to a house fire, and we’ve just spent more than what we had relocating to our only option, which we still can’t afford. I had to choose between getting the plates renewed and feeding my daughter and her kids, and I made my choice. I’ve been driving as little as I can, and I plan to keep doing so until I can renew my plates.”

And he listened. He heard what she said. But he still didn’t care.

Cop: “Well, I’m sorry, but your vehicle is going to be towed.”

Grandma: “Ok. But we’re only six blocks from our home. Can we get back to our house, and then you can tow the car from there?”

My baby sister began to stir, and the cop looked when he heard her. My little sister is biracial, but she looks fully black. The officer, and I’m not even fucking joking a little bit here, laughs after seeing her, and says, “Well, it would just be a shame if you had to walk out in this cold with the little one.” He was fucking dripping sarcasm.

He had our car towed from where it was. He could have called another cop to drive us back to our home, but instead, he specifically made my grandma and my BABY SISTER stand in the snow, by the road, while he took my mom and I home first. We had no choice in what order he drove us. That man was such a fucking pig, I’m legitimately surprised he didn’t just make us all walk. My baby sister cried all night, and my mom struggled to warm her back up. We spent about a month without any form of transportation, until my grandmother found a dealer with some empathy who could give us another old, banged up car we still couldn’t afford.

Our plates were two months overdue.

Scene: My mother, my cousin and I, are on our way to a birthday party. I’m seven. My cousin is six.

My mom is intoxicated, very much so. She’s an alcoholic, but my cousin and I are too young to know that. She crashes the car.

There are no serious injuries, and no other vehicle is involved. My cousin and I cried like babies, but more out of fear than anything else. He bit his tongue, I bit my lip, or maybe it was the other way around. Either way, we were both bleeding from the mouth, not severely, but enough to frighten us even more.

A cop pulls over beside the car after I’m not sure how long. He is absolutely livid, red in the face. My mom is arrested for driving while intoxicated. The cops calls for backup to handle my cousin and I, but he does not wait for the other officer to arrive. He leaves with my mother in his car, and does not inform my cousin and I of what is happening, or that anyone will be coming for us. We are alone in a wrecked vehicle for nearly an hour before the other officer arrives. He gives a reason as to why he took so long, I don’t remember it. Neither of us know our other relatives phone numbers, we only know 911. The first officer took my mother’s phone along with her. It’s another two hours before we’re left in the custody of my aunt. 

Scene: It’s early summer, just the beginning of June, 6 months or so before the first incident on this list. My family is using a rented U-Haul to move most of our furniture, and I have a friend over for my first official sleepover in the house. He helps us move, and for the brief few minutes he isn’t assisting me in lugging furniture into the house, he takes my dogs out into the yard for a small walk. While he’s out, a guy our age (16/17) happens to walk by on the street. He must not read social cues very well, because he stops and tries to talk to my family and I, while we’re moving a wooden dresser down the ramp of the U-Haul. 

At one point, he gets out a pocket knife. I should make it clear that he wasn’t a genuine threat to any of us, he was just very, very talkative, and apparently very proud of the big ass knife he had just been given by his grandfather. He swung it around and made some jokes about being a ninja or whatever, and one of my dogs freaked out and made a mad dash at him. My friend, who we’ll call G, hadn’t been prepared to hold a full grown boxer back with one hand gripping the leash, and my dog pulled free and bit the dude’s leg. She didn’t break the skin, and the guy, who we’ll call D, was fine. He said he grew up with large dogs and had been beaten up much worse, and he promptly left without any trouble. This will become important later.

Skip ahead about an hour, and it’s on the verge of starting to get dark. Most of the stuff is in the house, and we’re done moving in for the night. My mom has just been paid for the week, but we haven’t gone grocery shopping yet, so there isn’t much to eat in the house. G has just gotten his level 2 driving permit, and he offers to take me and run down the street to get McDonald’s for everybody. My grandma is passed out on the couch, exhausted, and my mom is taking care of my fussing little sister. Although it’s illegal for G to drive without an adult in the car, my mom simply tells us that we should be fine; it’s just down the street, and as long as we’re safe and follow the road laws, we shouldn’t have any sort of trouble.

She gives us her credit card, takes her weed out of the car (a just-in-case measure that, looking back, was invaluable) and we go. G drives steadily, and I keep an extra eye on his speed the whole time just to be sure of it. We were both really nervous at first.

We get to the McDonald’s. We order food for ourselves and my family. We head back home. The sky is orange and bright, a small detail that will also have a decent level of importance later.

I live in a sort of community, it’s difficult to navigate and pretty large. G had a better understanding of how to get back to my house than I did, and this was his first time visiting. We were both worried about getting lost, but we figured if we did, park security (who are NOT officers) could help us. Just as we pulled into the entrance of the place, we see D from earlier, waving us down. G and I shared a look, before he pulled over. D didn’t even get to speak before we noticed red and blue lights behind us, which means now we were pulled over in both senses. 

The cop had not even seen D until he looked through our car windows and noticed him on the other side of the vehicle. He swore upon seeing him and berated him for not putting his hands up and announcing himself as soon as the cop pulled us over. D, G, and I are all white. The cop tells us he pulled us over because our headlights weren’t on, and it was too dark for that. Again, the sky was bright orange, and the road and everything alongside it was easily visible.

G had turned 16 about a month ago, and was still getting used to it.

Cop: “How old are you?”

G: “I’m fifteen.”

Cop: “What?? Get out of the car, now. Hands where I can see them!”

Me: “He’s sixteen! He just turned sixteen! He mispoke!”

The officer demands that G show ID, while cuffing him. G tells him his permit is in the cupholder in his wallet. The cop accuses him of lying. I have my hands up where they can be seen, and I tell the officer that his wallet is right there, in plain sight. I don’t move my hands. I ask if the officer wants me to give him the wallet. He screams at me in absolute rage to keep my hands where he can see them, though I still haven’t moved. I complied, for a moment, and then announced, twice, because he acted like he couldn’t hear me 

Me: “I’m reaching for my phone, it’s on the dashboard, I’m going to call the owner of this car.”

Cop: “It’s not your car?! This is a stolen vehicle?!”

Me: “No! This is my grandma’s car, we have her permission to drive it! We live in this neighborhood and I’m calling her to come speak to you!”

He pushes G, cuffed, forward, despite not walking forward himself, and then yells at him to stop moving and drags him back, slams him up against the car. I should mention that G, although male, is only about 5′9, and very thin. No muscle on him whatsoever.

At this point, I’m on the phone with my mother. My grandma didn’t pick up. I’m very shakily telling her what’s going on, and she tells me to just wait one moment, she’ll get my grandma up and have her come get us in the U-Haul.

The cop moves G into his vehicle, and D is still standing by my window, muttering variations of the word ‘yikes’.

I get off the phone with my mom, and loudly announce that I’m stepping out of the vehicle and approaching the cop’s car. It was difficult to raise my voice to a yell that he could hear from in his car, but I did, and I kept my hands up. I approached his window, and told him my grandma was on her way. I asked him if he would prefer I stay in my grandma’s car, if I were to just stand where he could see me, or if he would want to cuff me and keep me in his vehicle, too. As much of a snarky smartmouth as I can be, this was all said completely respectfully. My hands stayed up.

The officer told me to, quote, “Get any important shit out of the car and walk home.”

Me: “I’ve just moved here, and I don’t know how to get home. I want to wait here until my grandma arrives. It will just be a minute.”

Cop: “I told you to go. Walk.”

D, from near our car : “I can take you home, and help you carry the food!”

Cop: “You heard him. Go.”

Me: “I don’t know him, and I don’t feel safe walking somewhere I don’t know with a strange guy, can I please just-”

Cop: “I told you to fucking leave, that’s an order! Go! Fucking Go!”

At this point I was near tears, and I looked past the cop at G, who was nodding at me to leave.

When I did as the cop said and I got everything out of the car, he screamed at me again, and drew his gun. I explained that I was just doing what he told me to. He put the gun away.

On the walk back to the house, D took an extended path (which I only know now that I’ve lived in this neighborhood a while) and told me several explicit stories along the way. He made ‘jokes’ about raping me, and, I’m not even fucking kidding, forced me to wear his hoodie. I get that that doesn’t sound sinister, but he made me put everything down, took my phone, took the hoodie I was ALREADY WEARING, and made me put his on. I was fucking terrified, but I couldn’t say no because he had my phone, and he had a knife. I was fucking scared the whole time because for all I knew, he wasn’t even taking me home. He knew this place like the back of his hand, and I had no idea where I was or where I could even run to. For the rest of the 20 minute walk, he continuously made jokes about forcing himself on me, and I had nowhere to go.

When I made it back to my house safe and got my hoodie and phone back, he tried convincing me to let him stay and eat the food we’d gotten. My mom didn’t know any of what he’d said along the way home, but she made him leave. It was about 45 minutes from then until my grandma came back with G. The officer towed the car.

G had a breakdown and called his family, but he stayed the night still. He told me later that (important detail: G is gay, and, although I feel bad saying it, very noticeably so. He fits a lot of stereotypes, ie he has a lisp, dresses semi-nicely, and is somewhat flamboyant) the cop had called him a fag, had called him a dirty queer, had told him that his body cam was off, and that if something happened to him, no one would ever be able to prove it. The cop even had the fucking gall to chat over his radio about the ‘fag’ he’d picked up.

The cop threatened to have G put in jail overnight, or until his father would come to get him. All of this in the ten minutes it took for my grandma to get there.

These are all off the top of my head. I, a white teenager, have never once met a ‘good cop’. These encounters are mild compared to the absolute horror stories about police that I’ve heard. All of these ended up with all of us safe, and all of us living, but they very easily could have gone sour. My heart goes out to anybody with similar or worse experiences, because even though these were small, they were still absolutely fucking terrifying to experience. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to go through worse. Fuck cops. Fuck all of them, because even a ‘good cop’ aka a cop who does the bare minimum (their job) either enables other’s to behave this way, or isn’t even a cop, because they were fired for not letting it slide. ACAB.

Stay safe, everyone, and I’m sorry.

[doroyamz]

Love in Accra

The road looked like it was sweating.

Rain. Heavy rain. The rush hour traffic on the 37 Military Hospital Road had come to a standstill. The downpour, from nowhere, was a welcome distraction for Tony. Last night’s encounter with his wife, Alicia, still all too fresh in his mind.

Cars were barely moving along on in the ever-rising storm.

He felt a movement on his right thigh but was too preoccupied with his thoughts to give it any attention. Esi by this time was growing restless, tired of Tony’s now constant rebuffing of her advances. Last night, and for many nights in the past month, he was totally limp when she unzipped him, a far cry from the throbbing pistol that had thrilled her to no end when they first began their countless rendezvous.

In those early days, they were lust personified. Crazed and addicted to each other beyond reason. Their constant need to feel each other’s skin had a near cataclysmic pull on them and their respective worlds. Alicia got pregnant in those early days, an event Tony privately regarded as a spillover from being with his now long-standing mistress. Esi’s marriage was virtually in the gutter. She often showed up at home disheveled and night after night, retired to her marriage bed wearing a satisfying post-coital daze on her face. Her husband, would just watch her. Mute and completely emasculated.

But now her once insatiable incubus was limp to her touch. She could not understand it.

xxx

Alicia had found the video on his phone.

Tony’s entire world came to a screeching halt. His throat was so dry, he wasn’t sure if he had one anymore. He stood paralyzed; the phone screen thrust in his face. Cocked his head at an angle as if in disbelief at the two actors in the tiny screen.

The man in the screen was bald, tall and dark and looked very much like him. He stood at about 6”3 with an NBA player’s build and had the beard to match. The male actor was indubitably approaching climax and his voluptuous female understudy, on cue, fiercely gripped onto dear life – which in that moment, was her male lead.

The ochre-skinned woman in the screen was of the finest fettle. Folasade was a full-blooded Nigerian but her unapologetic curves screamed South Africa. She looked like a Marvel comic heroine brought to life.

Fola and Tony met at a seminar for West African business executives at the Kempinski Hotel, a few months after his wedding. Fola was leading a breakout panel session which Tony sat in on, intoxicated by her form and presence. The two had exchanged steamy glances all day long, making no attempt to restrain their mutual intentions for each other when the conference ended.

Tony could never get enough of Fola and in Tony, Fola had found a man who could satisfy her every whim. They could go for months on end without so much as a text message to each other. But whenever contact was made, their respective schedules were cleared until further notice. They were fully aware that their combined desire was a vast black hole with the potential to consume them, so they took conscious steps to maintain some modicum of balance in their meeting arrangements.

The night the fated video was shot, Fola was headed for a month-long business trip in Morocco. They had arranged to meet at her private office on Volta Street in the Airport Residential Area.

Fola’s suggestion to record themselves as a temporary parting memento was inexplicable to Tony. Her claim that it would be something that would hold her while she was away, seemed puzzling to him. Her feigned desperation, even more perplexing.

Tony was completely against the idea of recording their liaison. Remonstrating over and over again about how technology and affairs of love should never cross. Fola ogled him for a while, offered tiny chuckles as he groped her every now and then during his rant.

Tony became so engrossed in his personal deliberations that he missed her slip into the bathroom. When he finally took a moment to break from his monologue, he was out of breath and had worked up a sweat. The man felt he just needed to wash away all traces of that unholy proposal.

Once on the other side of the bathroom door, Tony became Pavlov’s Dog.

That was over a year ago and Fola still hadn’t returned from her trip.

His mind slowly drifted back to the screen. The soft moans and cries. The sound of skin on skin rhythmically playing from the Samsung phone speakers.

He didn’t feel shame. He didn’t feel regret. He heard Alicia’s cries, felt her pain slide across his skin. He just stood there. Numb.

xxx

“We have asked around about Tony…Alicia…for your sake, for your parents’ sake, for all our sakes…please…do not marry this man.”

One of the many admonitions Alicia fielded from her aunts and cousins after announcing Tony’s marriage proposal at her younger sister’s festive birthday party.

In the ensuing weeks after her announcement, the family matriarchs conducted an extensive background check to gather as much intel as they could on her suitor. From what Alicia’s mum told her the matriarchs searched far and wide, even unearthing some very unsavory stories about Tony’s maternal grandfather in Mampong, a township in the Ashanti region.

The women came back with a most damning report on Alicia’s debonair Asante. Alicia, however, was defiant and unmoved by their findings.

She stood up to address the mini-assembly.

“Each woman here knows how highly I value them. You have all shaped me, guided me and helped me become the woman I am today,” she said in a restrained voice.

“But with all respect, none of you know Tony like I do. You don’t know what I see in him, his potential. The depths of emotion I have felt in the time I’ve gotten to know him. None of you can know that. He’s not perfect, Lord I know he’s far from it, but I know he’s the one for me. Nothing you say or do can make me feel differently.”

She loved Tony deeply. She had never believed she was capable of loving a man, let alone marrying one, after all the damage she had seen men wreak in and around her life. And Tony had flaws, many serious ones, but he had a certain light to him and he had showed her honesty and a vulnerability she had never known men to possess.

Deep down, she believed she could change him, iron out his weaknesses and over time drive out his especially troubling womanizing habit. She knew he liked women and on countless occasions, with her own eyes, she noticed the magnetizing effect he had on them. Alicia also believed some of his troubles with women lay in the fact that he was a true empath. That he, unfortunately, had never learned to draw boundaries to his empathy which inadvertently led to his many ‘situationships.’ 

“I won’t lie Alicia. I know I have a woman problem. It’s like an addiction. The intimacy, the need to connect, the sex.” They were having lunch at the Hinlone Chinese Restaurant in Labone. The night before, as they lay in bed, Tony had told he loved her for the first time. Alicia simply smiled at his declaration, electing to play it cool although inwardly, she was beside herself with joy.

Flashes from the video.

The woman’s legs splayed. Tony’s thrusts. The glistening sheen of sweat.

“But I swear to you, most of my things with these women often start out because I pity them or I want to help them in some way…along the line, things just get muddled up and…I lose my way...”

The woman crying out in throes of pleasure.

Her mind was a broken dam. Thoughts, memories and conversations flooded her head and receded at their own leisure.

She wondered why these memories and conversations were coming up at this time. The video was still a freshly opened gash, one she had already accepted was going to be a large and permanent scar. But for the other flashbacks, she questioned their relevance to her current predicament.

He was always a monster. Why was I pretending all this time that he wasn’t? Who was I kidding?

The video was the bomb but Tony’s desensitized demeanor and harrowing forced confessions were the firestorm. She knew there was so much more he would have confessed to if she had had any more emotional stamina during her five-hour interrogation of the stranger she called her husband. She had been beyond foolish.

Time had lost its meaning. She had spent three days huddled in the corner of their bedroom tormented by her broken heart and mind.

Alicia just wanted to disappear.

xxx

One week and seventy-seven unanswered calls had passed since the explosive encounter. Tony wasn’t sure if Alicia was alive.

He was parked outside the Total House Clinic in Adabraka on a Saturday morning. Completely engrossed in his thoughts and yearning for divine intervention to offer him some guidance. Since his exposé, his mind had been in a fog that thickened with each passing day. The only silver lining were the test results from his urologist. Tony’s recent erectile issues were deemed a stress response and his dysfunction persisted due to a lack of proper rest. He needed to relax.

His wife was even more inaccessible now than she’d been during the miscarriage. For Tony, the miscarriage was a living hell made more intolerable by how suicidal Alicia had been. He was disappointed to have lost the baby especially after how hard they’d tried over the years but a small and, perhaps, darker part of him felt relieved. He didn’t think it was right to have conceived a child with his wife barely an hour after stealing sordid moments with another woman. A woman he met through his wife. In his mind, it was perhaps the universe’s way of warning him that he had gone too far this time. He would never have been able to look at that child without seeing Esi in his mind’s eye.

This time though, he had overstepped the good faith that the universe seemed to constantly extend to him. He knew his credit line with the powers-that-be was now in the red and would stay there indefinitely. His latest debt, while not his most damning by a long shot, was irredeemable. He had nowhere to hide. There were no more lies he could spin around Alicia.

But he needed her. He couldn’t lose his North Star. She was the only thing that prevented his chaotic nature from engulfing him or so he thought. Surely, after all these years she knew what she was signing on for. Why was she so surprised? That video was nothing compared to the numerous other unspeakables he’d committed over the course of their marriage. Of all the things to do him in, it had to be a twenty-minute porno. What a sick joke.

In a bloodrush, he let out a hollow scream. His mind was drowning in haphazard thoughts.

“What have I done? God what have I done?” he blurted out repeatedly at his steering wheel, as he fought to hold back tears.

“Why? Why now? Why did it happen like this?” he plaintively questioned.

No answer.

Deflated and resigned, he took out his work phone and called the only person who would always welcome him with open arms and accept him for the depraved and gluttonous animal he was.

xxx

Incense burned as Jill Scott’s ‘He Loves Me’ played softly from the soundbar. The room had been steamed to perfection.

The Executive Suite at the La Beach Hotel was their favourite love nest. Any sexual fantasy - from orgies to swing parties - either party happened to be in the mood for or could imagine, this was the room that staged its enactment.

Tonight it was just the two of them.

The toned, dark-skinned Ga woman on the bed was in her early seventies but inexplicably did not look a day past twenty. Tightly twisted Senegalese crochet braids, flowed magnificently from her scalp to her dainty waist. Her oval-shaped face remained flawless as did her soft, wrinkle-free skin. How she managed to defy time with her looks and poise was a much pondered upon mystery to all who knew her.

Dede was naked underneath a black, sparkling see-through gown. Her shea-butter glistened body glowed through the gown. A wet, willing and wanting goddess. Ready to be ravaged by her young midnight warrior. She rose to sit on her knees, directing her eyes to her nude captor’s crotch. She rendered a wry smile.

The warrior was flat-out flaccid.

“Mm,” she remarked, as she beckoned him to draw closer.

“Looks like our little man needs a little something before he comes out to play eh?” she teased in playful Ga.

He smirked as he approached her, only stopping when his groin and her face were level.

The mind-fog was still present but he closed his eyes as he begun to feel the slow and perfectly measured licking sensations in his nether region. Dede was always masterful with the things she could do with her mouth. Two lifetimes worth of experience to draw from.

Two minutes passed but Tony’s situation did not improve.

She paused to look up at Tony, “Is something the matter? You usually perk up for me with no effort. Have I done something wrong?”

“No…it’s not you love…,” he paused, longer than he’d intended.

“Just been under a lot of stress lately,” he sighed as he pulled away. He turned his back on the regal woman to look around the room for his clothes.

Dede wasn’t buying it. His tone. That pause. Something was definitely up. She had never known her beast to act or sound so tame in all the years she’d known him, not even during his grooming period.

“But you’re even more marvelous when you’re stressed…or have you forgotten Abidjan?” she asked, biting her lip.

He shrugged at her retort.

Tony was troubled by his recurring limpness.

xxx

Esi’s heart froze when she saw the Caller ID on her phone screen.

Alicia.

Why would Alicia be calling her? For what reason? Was it about Tony? Had she found out about them?

The phone was still ringing but Esi just stared at her mobile. A million worst-case scenarios flying around in her mind each time her ringtone looped over.

She decided she would not answer the call.

It’d been over eight months since they last spoke and the distance that had grown between them suited Esi, considering the increased frequency of her liaisons with Tony in those months. After years of clandestine maneuvers, she felt she was finally closing in on Alicia’s husband.

Both women had known each other from childhood. Esi even witnessed Alicia’s declaration of Tony’s marriage proposal.

The announcement was a mild shock for her at first but she remembered feeling something resembling happiness for her longtime friend. Alicia had found a man who could actually hold her attention. He had to be special. She’d seen Alicia turn down the most desirable of bachelors - a few of whom Esi herself subsequently sampled extensively - on countless occasions.

In her quiet moments, she sometimes wondered why her then soon-to-be-engaged friend seemed to routinely attract men of a higher caliber without even trying, while she often had to go above and beyond to pull a semi-decent man. She felt she was equally as - if not more - attractive than Alicia and just as accomplished professionally but somehow, she always seemed to come out second-best to her childhood friend when it mattered. These thoughts irked Esi more than she cared to admit to herself.

Alicia mirthfully introduced her old friend and soon-to-be-husband to each other a few days after her announcement.

Their eyes locked for a brief but intense moment during the exchange of pleasantries.

xxx

Nyarko Abronoma could not look at the man she called her son.

She was disgusted.

Why were the men in her family such cancers?

To the uninitiated, her family’s men were walking gods. Dazzling men who could bend the wills and desires of the staunchest hearts. They were gifted manipulators and they used their power to wreak havoc. Their preferred targets, were often women of high standing and character. They swarmed on these women like bees to honey. Once ensnared, their targets were mentally and emotionally stretched and bent beyond their limits, enduring relentless acts of gross disrespect and shame on account of these bedeviled men. And in no time, the prey merely became a shell of their former selves.

Nyarko, at the age of nine, saw her mother gradually lose her mind. A year later, a young Nyarko watched on as her mother was lowered into an unmarked grave. Both events, her father’s handiwork.

Her mother used to say that the men of Nyarko’s lineage were descendants of the fallen angels from the Book of Genesis. The Nephilim.

Even in her womb, she already knew Tony was one of them. Throughout her pregnancy, Nyarko prayed, fasted, sought the counsel of several spiritual leaders to save her unborn child. She desperately wanted her son to chart a different path than the men before him.

Tony didn’t know how to break the silence between them.

His mother had always been his trump card whenever things between him and Alicia were coming to a head. This time around though he was seeking his mother’s intervention as a Hail Mary. He knew she admired and loved Alicia. She would probably have traded her for him as her child if she had her way.

He told her what had happened, leaving out a few details.

Nyarko knew her son hadn’t told her everything.

She raised her head to observe her son. A beautiful boy with a Machiavellian heart. He was a poisoned chalice like his predecessors.

Tony looked away, uncomfortable with her soul-piercing stare.

“I can’t help you and I won’t,” she said in Twi.

He was stunned.

“I won’t let you drive that poor woman to the grave. If I help you, you are only going to repeat what your grandfather put my mother through and what my brothers did to their wives. Alicia is too much of a good woman for that. Too much. She deserves better. This time you have been exposed for all to see and we both know there are countless more lies and secrets behind those scheming eyes of yours!”

Tony’s throat tightened. He hadn’t anticipated this tirade from the old woman.

“You think I don’t know about you? The things you scurry around town doing like a possessed rat? I weep for Alicia everyday. I always pray to God to give her strength in dealing with you. You have no shame. Even during your wife’s miscarriage you had no decency, no respect for her, not an ounce of self-control. Hiding in and out of Accra with your concubines.”

Nyarko spat at her son’s feet.

“If anything should happen to Alicia, it will be on your head and I pray you pay for it.”

xxx

Three weeks and still no word from Tony.

Alicia’s call coupled with Tony’s prolonged radio silence led Esi to assume the worst.

She was driving back into Accra, via the Accra-Tema Motorway, after wrapping up a meeting in Tema's harbour area. Hawkers streamed along either side of her car, as she neared one of the highway's three toll booths.

Esi's mind was spinning. Everything seemed to be falling apart. Had she been stupid? Why couldn’t she be allowed to have her own slice of heaven? Was it a crime to want to be loved? She didn’t mean Alicia any harm but the connection between her and Tony was unavoidable.

Why was Tony all of a sudden ignoring her? Why weren’t they making love anymore? She knew  he had a harem of ‘playmates’ he could call on but he always came back to her. Was he over her? Had somebody else taken her place?

Too many questions with no answers. She wracked her brain to think of a solution, a way out through all the madness.

Dede. The Madame. The old woman would probably know something. She and Tony were close, a little too close for Esi’s liking. But Esi figured that a woman at that age didn’t have that long to live, no matter how well she kept herself or how many boys she gobbled up, so Esi was fine with their relationship. Besides she was on good terms with Dede, the three had had some raunchy episodes through the years.

Esi called Dede and inquired about Tony.

“I last saw him about a week ago but I haven’t heard from him since then,” Dede stated.

More worry for Esi. He had gone to see Dede but had not even bothered to call her for three weeks? What was going on with him? Was he over her? She knew Dede had some skills but the old witch had enough boy toys to keep her satisfied.

Dede hummed an Erykah Badu tune. Esi forgot she was still on the line.

“Thank you Dede. I’ll give him a buzz again.”

“Dear girl, hold on for a second please.”

Esi was caught off guard by The Madame’s request. Outside of their fervid love-ins, Dede was typically brisk and forthright with her.

“Have you noticed anything…strange about Tony lately?” Dede asked, an almost mischievous lilt in her slivery voice.

“Strange? What do you mean?” a puzzled Esi asked.

“His performance, has it changed in any noticeable way?” The Madame was sipping on something in the background.

“Oh Dede…,” Esi responded bashfully.

“My girl let’s not beat around the bush. Is anything different or not?”

The sudden firmness in The Madame’s voice unsettled Esi.

“W-Well…recently he doesn’t respond to my touch. You know…,” she didn’t know why she was so shy in speaking to Dede about her sexual affairs with Tony. She had seen the woman on all fours.

Static on the phone.

“He can’t get it up,” Esi muttered feebly.

“Mm..I see. Thank you Esi, that’s all I needed to know. Best of luck reaching him.”

The line cut.

Why would Dede ask that? Was she experiencing the same issues she’d been having with Tony?

The suspicion that had been floating in Esi’s mind for the past few weeks was too absurd to now consider an actual possibility. It was impossible for that to happen to Tony, he was too red-blooded, way too potent for that.

It couldn’t be.

No...no..not Tony...

Tony couldn’t be…?

No!

It isn’t possible. Tony couldn’t be impotent. The mere thought alone was utterly absurd.

But how else could she explain his sudden limpness? Plus Dede would never have asked that question if she hadn’t noti---

Esi fatally rear-ended her Nissan Qashqai into a heavy cargo truck.

xxx

Their luxury three-bedroom apartment home on Second Circular Road, Cantonments, was a stone throw away from the U.S. Embassy. It was a $600,000 property that Tony had astoundingly managed to wind down to a sale price just short of a $100,000. Alicia used to call him ‘Puppet Master T,’ for his uncanny ability to always get what he wanted.

Tony lingered outside the apartment door for nearly half an hour. He was jittery.

A flurry of deep and quick deep breaths filled his lungs as he steeled himself and turned the doorknob.

The apartment felt hostile as if it despised his presence.

His sweep around his marriage home confirmed Alicia had packed up, that much was clear. Their bedroom was half empty, with no trace of his wife left in the room. Alicia was gone and she was gone for good.

A small stack of papers was neatly arranged on the bed. Divorce papers and a small sheet with a number to call when he was done signing. That was Alicia, methodical and precise, even in the worst of circumstances.

Tony sat on the bed, staring at the divorce papers.

He wanted to call Alicia but thought better of it. She’d probably blocked him on all platforms. When his wife didn’t want to be found, she did it well.

The die was cast. There were no more moves he could play.

Something vibrated under his left thigh, briefly snapping him out of his self-pity. He shifted his weight to find the smoking gun that had ended everything.

Tony unlocked the phone to find a freeze-frame shot of a busty Fola in a most compromising position. Alicia must have watched the video countless times, trying to make sense of it all. Her soon-to-be ex-husband zoomed out of the video application to the notification center.

Ato, his closest friend and fellow degenerate, had just sent him series of confusing text messages.

The first message read: “Bro...I have been trying to reach you.” Tony checked his call log to indeed find several missed calls from his main man.

Second message: “I don’t know if you’ve heard already.”

Third: “Bro…I’m so so sorry about Esi...I can’t imagine what you’re feeling. I’m so sorry bro. Please call me if you need me. I’m here for you…”

xxx

Marijuana smoke filled the air of the love nest.

Tony’s head lay buried in Dede’s bosom. He was silent, as Dede gently stroked his head and offered hushed words of consolation.

She drew a few more puffs from her joint and moved it down to Tony’s lips but her wounded warrior declined.

They stayed silent for a lengthy period of time as Dede spaced out from the weed.

Memories of a lifetime’s worth of sexual dissipation with her favorite boy streamed across her mind. Despite her wanton admiration for his sexual prowess, she had grown to develop an affection for her former protégé over the years.

The Madame, as Dede was referred to by Accra’s high society, had known Tony since he was fourteen. Even as a sprightly teenage boy - and much to her pleasant surprise - he oozed raw potential with his savage-like lovemaking abilities. By seventeen, the boy could do things she had never known men to be capable of. He had a frightening and near bottomless appetite that bordered on the frenetic, that even her infamous grooming techniques couldn’t temper.

She shed an unseen tear for her paramour’s wasted manhood. To be completely robbed of his virility in his prime was a cruel blow from the gods.

Dede nonchalantly crushed the end of the burnt-out joint into an ashtray on the bedside table.

“It’s a pity but it seems I have no use for you anymore, my dear,” she said sofly.

Tony was still, his eyes shut. It was what he expected from his Madame.

“There’s a young French couple coming by shortly. Quite the adventurous duo. It’s a shame you wouldn’t be joining us,” she sighed airily.

“A shame,” he whispered.

She started running rings around his lips.

“You’re of course welcome to stay and watch if you please my love,” she said somewhat coyly.

Tony slowly reached for her moving hand and kissed it.

He rose from his resting place, stretched to his full height, and promptly made his way to the door without looking back.

“Tony..,” he heard Dede call out before he shut the door.

Two spirited European-looking girls gaily passed him in the lobby hallway.

As he stepped onto the elevator, the vivacious couple turned around to take in the view of the brooding stud exiting the floor.

xxx

Tony hopped over the fence that separated the La Beach Hotel premises from the beach.

It was a little past midnight and the cool and salty breeze of the sea, soothed Tony’s mood. The mind-fog was clearing up. Whether the fog’s retreat was a result of the second-hand smoke from the weed or the effect of the beach, he wasn’t sure but he was grateful.

It was a moonless, starless sky. The ocean’s waves roared gently, calling to him. He had been here before, in another life perhaps.

He took in the scene before him one last time and smiled. All was fair.

Tony took the first steps towards his death.

xxx

[atlasfms]

                                                                                                                                                       𝐆𝐐   𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖   𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟗   .

                     By   Jonathon   Heaf                      ➥   3   December   2019

The   now   twenty   -   four   year   old   talks   about   his   rise   to   fame   ,   his   family   and   just   about   everything   in   between   .   .   .

Honorable   Mentions   :   @alanncs​   ,   @nsfwviolets​   ,   @veraffs​   &   @viclents​   .

           It’s   been   a   year   and   a   half   since   I   last   had   the   pleasure   of   catching   up   with   the   Golden   Boy   that’s   known   as   Atlas   Deniro   ,   but   in   that   seemingly   short   space   of   time   a   lot   has   changed   in   his   life   and   there’s   so   much   to   catch   up   on   .   At   the   beginning   of   2018   ,   he   was   most   known   for   being   the   son   of   a   billionaire   and   fluttering   hearts   by   his   steaming   Instagram   posts   ,   as   well   as   sauntering   down   runways   in   clothes   designed   by   some   of   our   favourite   names   ,   but   things   didn’t   really   get   started   for   him   until   mid   -   June   .

        After   his   debut   as   being   the   main   face   and   male   Ambassador   of   Paco   Rabbane’s   iconic   1   Million   fragrance   ,   Deniro’s   popularity   sky   -   rocketed   and   it   wasn’t   that   long   after   that   he   released   his   first   song   .   Since   then   ,   the   heartthrob   has   been   the   most   sought   for   male   face   for   most   of   our   favourite   brands   ,   even   having   his   own   clothing   line   collaboration   with   Calvin   Klein   and   winning   the   Fashion   Award’s   Model   of   the   Year   2018   ,   and   only   growing   in   success   after   dropping   his   debut   album   ‘   Damage   Control   ’   which   solidified   it’s   place   at   the   top   of   the   charts   for   months   ,   he   rang   the   new   year   in   with   a   bang   ,   but   2019   was   a   little   more   of   roller   coaster   .

           After   returning   home   from   Italy   once   his   family’s   annual   holiday   get   -   together   was   over   ,   Deniro   and   his   friends   took   Dubai   ,   UEA   by   storm   and   gave   us   something   to   remember   them   by   when   they   aired   a   one   -   hour   documentary   on   Netflix   revealing   what   they   got   up   to   .   If   that   wasn’t   exciting   enough   ,   then   maybe   his   Thailand   Arrest   story   will   ring   a   bell   .   But   that’s   all   been   and   gone   ,   and   after   that   the   now   twenty   -   four   year   old   kicked   himself   into   shape   once   his   Debut   World   Tour   dates   were   released   .   However   ,   we’re   all   aware   of   the   days   that   led   to   Deniro’s   3   day   coma   ,   which   resulted   in   him   having   to   cancel   his   tour   in   favour   of   taking   some   time   to   recover   .

          Since   then   ,   the   model   -   slash   -   singer   has   had   a   relatively   quiet   few   months   ,   and   after   coming   back   to   Instagram   a   few   weeks   back   and   reminiscing   about   his   time   with   long   -   time   girlfriend   Violet   Lennox   ,   GQ’s   International   Male   Model   of   the   Year   2019   is   here   in   celebration   of   his   turning   twenty   -   four   ,   the   struggled   of   growing   up   in   the   spotlight   and   just   about   everything   in   -   between   .   So   ,   how   about   we   get   started   ?   He’s   wearing   a   cozy   looking   black   rib   roll   neck   sweater   paired   with   a   washed   grey   set   of   jeans   decorated   with   his   iconic   silver   chain   .   Sitting   across   from   me   ,  he   looks   as   collected   as   ever   .

𝐆𝐐   :   𝐒𝐨   𝐡𝐨𝐰   𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬   𝐢𝐭   𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥   𝐭𝐨   𝐛𝐞   𝐆𝐐’𝐒   𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥   𝐌𝐚𝐥𝐞   𝐌𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐥   𝐨𝐟   𝐭𝐡𝐞   𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫   ?

Atlas   Deniro   :   Honestly   it   feels   kind   of  surreal   .   There   are   so   many   talents   out   there   that   deserve   it   just   as   much   as   I   do   ,  so   I   was   surprised   to   even   be   nominated   for   it   .  Winning   is   crazy   ,   though   .   I   remember   when   I   won   the   Fashion   Awards   last   year   and   was   like   ‘   this   is   it   ,   this   is   the   highlight   ’   .   I   never   even   dreamed   I’d   win   a   prestigious   award   like   this   ,   especially   so   early   in   my   career   so   thank   you   .

𝐃𝐢𝐝   𝐲𝐨𝐮   𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞��𝐭   𝐭𝐨   𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞   𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬   𝐟𝐚𝐫   𝐢𝐧   𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫   𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐫   𝐬𝐨   𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧   ?

Definitely   not   .   Up   until   my   (   Paco   Rabanne   )   promotion   I   was   pretty   much   just   getting   booked   into   whatever   gigs   my   agent   could   find   and   working   my   way   through   college   .   It   was   kind   of   weird   ,   because   one   day   I   was   mostly   just   walking   on   runways   and   building   up   my   name   ,   but   the   next   my   face   was   all   over   and   it   was   like   ,   wow   ,   I   did   this   .   I   actually   did   this   .

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭   𝐝𝐢𝐝   𝐢𝐭   𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥   𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞   𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧   𝐲𝐨𝐮   𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭   𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞   𝐨𝐧𝐞   𝐨𝐟   𝐭𝐡𝐞   𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝’𝐬   𝐀𝐦𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐬   ?

Crazy   because   the   1   Million   fragrance   is   my   absolute   favourite   and   I’d   never   dream   I’d   get   to   be   the   face   representing   it   .   Weird   because   Jordan   Barrett   is   one   of   my   buds   and   replacing   him   on   the   commercial   was   strange   .   But   he   was   cool   with   it   ,   though   ,   so   I   guess   it   all   worked   out   .

𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐞   𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭   𝐢𝐭   𝐰𝐚𝐬   𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞   𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧   𝐲𝐨𝐮   𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝   𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫   𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭   𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠   .

It’s   impossible   to   describe   because   no   word   can   explain   the   amount   of   pride   and   happiness   you   feel   when   it’s   out   there   .   Like   ,   that’s   your   baby   .   You’re   letting   it   out   to   be   judged   by   the   world   and   that’s   ,   like   ,   your   pride   and   joy   .   But   honestly   the   feedback   was   surreal   :   people   always   have   reservations   when   models   turn   into   musicians   as   well   ,   and   I   must   have   said   ‘   music   coming   soon   ’   so   many   times   before   choosing   the   track   to   drop   that   would   put   me   in   the   same   race   as   everyone   else   took   longer   than   actually   creating   an   entire   album   .

𝐇𝐨𝐰   𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠   𝐝𝐢𝐝   𝐢𝐭   𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞   𝐭𝐨   𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞   𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫   𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭   𝐚𝐥𝐛𝐮𝐦   ?

Between   college   and   modeling   gigs   ?   Years   ,   probably   .   Writing   the   songs   didn’t   take   two   seconds   ,   but   actually   recording   them   and   putting   everything   together   takes   the   longest   time   .   Like   ,   you’re   creating   something   that   you   want   to   take   people   to   another   place   ,   and   making   the   perfect   song  to   do   that   is   difficult   .   There   was   a   lot   of   switching   and   shuffling   around   ,   too   many   songs   scrapped   because   they   weren’t   good   enough   .   It’s   a   long   process   ,   but   definitely   worth   it   .

𝐀𝐫𝐞   𝐲𝐨𝐮   𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠   𝐨𝐧   𝐚𝐧𝐲   𝐧𝐞𝐰   𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜   𝐚𝐭   𝐭𝐡𝐞   𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭   ?

I’m   working   on   new   music   everyday   ,   it’s   just   a   little   difficult   because   everything   is   so   personal   and   depends   on   what   happens   during   that   day   .   I think   people   don’t   understand   that   a   musician’s   album   is   literally   their   most   private   and   secret   thoughts   put   into   one   place   .   It’s   like   a   journal   ,   and   that’s   why   not   only   creating   these   songs   ,   but   performing   them   is   so   hard   to   describe   .

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭   𝐰𝐚𝐬   𝐢𝐭   𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞   𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧   𝐲𝐨𝐮   𝐡𝐚𝐝   𝐭𝐨   𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐥   𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫   𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐫   ?

Absolutely   heartbreaking   .   I   made   so   many   promises   to   my   fans   and   the   dream   of   being   able   to   travel   the   world   ,   playing   my   own   music   is   something   I’ve   wanted   all   my   life   .   Hands   down   ,   it   was   the   hardest   decision   I   ever   had   to   make   .   But   I   needed   to   do   it   ,   and   I’m   feeling   so   much   better   now   .

𝐃𝐨𝐞𝐬   𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭   𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧   𝐰𝐞   𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝   𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭   𝐧𝐞𝐰   𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐫   𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬   𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦   𝐲𝐨𝐮   𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧   ?

I   may   have   something   up   my   sleeve   for   after   the   New   Year   .   It’s   kind   of   an   apology   mixed   with   another   surprise   I’m   not   going   to   ruin   ,   but   it’s   good   .   Trust   me   .   You   won’t   be   disappointed   .

𝐈’𝐦   𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞   𝐰𝐞   𝐰𝐨𝐧’𝐭   .   𝐃𝐨   𝐲𝐨𝐮   𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞   𝐚𝐧𝐲   𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫   𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐬   𝐟𝐨𝐫   𝐭𝐡𝐞   𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞   ?

For   now   I’m   just   continuing   with   my   music   ,   my   modeling   ,   and   spending   some   time   with   my   beautiful   girlfriend   .   We’re   going   to   Italy   to   spend   the   holidays   with   my   family   soon   ,   so   it’ll   be   nice   to   get   away   from   New   York   for   a   little   while   and   be   able   to   spend   time   with   the   people   I   care   about   the   most   .

𝐘𝐨𝐮   𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞   𝐚   𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐞   𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲   ;   𝐡𝐨𝐰   𝐝𝐨   𝐲𝐨𝐮   𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥   𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡   𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭   ?

With   extreme   difficulty   [   laughs   ]   .   You   should   try   having   to   remember   all   the   names   of   your   Aunts   and   Uncles   ,   as   well   as   your   cousins   and   their   children   .   It’s   hard   ,   but   the   thing   about   my   family   is   that   even   though   there’s   so   many   of   us   ,   we’re   close   .   We   always   have   been   .

𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐯𝐞   𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧   𝐭𝐨   𝐈𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐲   𝐚   𝐥𝐨𝐭   ,   𝐛𝐮𝐭   𝐚𝐫𝐞   𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞   𝐚𝐧𝐲   𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫   𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬   𝐲𝐨𝐮   𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞   𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠   𝐭𝐨   ?

Bali   ,   for   sure   .   It   holds   a   special   place   in   my   heart   ,   not   to   mention   it’s   so   remote   and   beautiful   that   it’s   hard   to   not   fall   in   love   with   the   place   as   soon   as   you   get   there   .   It’s   a   little   far   from   home   ,   though   ,   so   I   don’t   get   to   go   often   but   every   time   I   do   ,   I   always   have   the   best   time   .

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬   𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫   𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞   𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐲   𝐢𝐧   𝐁𝐚𝐥𝐢   ?

Definitely   when   I   went   for   the   first   time   a   few   years   back   .   It   was   with   Violet   ,   of   course   ,   although   Alanna   and   Amara   insisted   they   would   come   and   didn’t   talk   to   me   for   a   week   straight   when   I   told   them   no   .   But   one   day   ,   we   decided   to   just   stay   on   the   beach   .   We   stayed   there   all   day   until   the   sun   set   ,   and   I’m   pretty   sure   we   left   being   as   red   as   lobsters   ,   but   it   was   the   most   relaxed   we’ve   ever   been   .

𝐘𝐨𝐮   𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞   𝐚   𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝   𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩   𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡   𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫   𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬   ,   𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭   𝐲𝐨𝐮   ?

The   best   ,   which   I   probably   should   be   grateful   for   since   there    are   a   lot   of   people   out   there   who   can’t   really   say   the   same   ,   but   they’re   my   best   friends   .   I   think   us   all   growing   up   with   the   same   problem   of   having   no   privacy   made   us   closer   ,   and   also   made   us   realise   we   can   trust   each   other   with   anything   .

𝐈𝐬   𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫   𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲'𝐬   𝐓𝐕   𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰   𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥   𝐢𝐧   𝐭𝐡𝐞   𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬   ?

Yeah   ,   for   sure   .   But   there’s   only   a   certain   amount   of   content   our   producers   can   use   ,   and   given   the   amount   of   episodes   they   need   to   film   to   create   an   entire   season   it’s   taking   a   while   ,   but   it   will   be   finished   soon   .   Maybe   even   sooner   than   you   think   .

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭   𝐚𝐫𝐞   𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫   𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬   𝐨𝐧   𝐭𝐡𝐞   #𝐙𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭   ?

Couldn’t   be   happier   for   them   ,   and   people   need   to   lay   off   with   the   judging   .   If   they’re   happy   ,   they’re   happy   ,   so   why   don’t   they   just   leave   it   at   that   ?   Now   we   just   have   to   wait   for   the   wedding  ��.   .   .

𝐇𝐨𝐰   𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝   𝐚𝐫𝐞   𝐲𝐨𝐮   𝐭𝐨   𝐛𝐞   𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠   𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲   -   𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫   ?

I   think   exciting   is   the   wrong   word   for   it   ;   who   even   enjoys   getting   older   ?   But   birthdays   mean   lots   of   presents   and   partying   ,   so   I’m   looking   forward   to   it   !

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you feel comfortable wearing tube tops? Noooo. You’ll never see me in a tube top. I don’t even wear tank tops. Has something someone said today annoyed you? Not so far, ha. I haven’t interacted with anyone, yet. It’s only 4:33AM.  Can you hear the crickets chirping at night? No. Do you like listening to new music, or just sticking to your favorites? I like new music, but I do love listening to my good ol’ favorites. I have a playlist that consists of a variety of music, new and old, from various genres and decades, that I just click shuffle and listen.  So far, where have you been on vacation? I haven’t gone anywhere this year, yet. 

Did you ever feel that there was something you couldn't tell anyone? Yep. Old stuff and ongoing, current stuff. Do you tend to gossip, even if you don't mean it to cause harm? It does happen. I’ll see something on social media about someone I know and tell my mom or brother. Family gossip stuff. Not to talk shit, but it’ll be like, “omg did you see what so and so posted/did/whatever.” Or like if someone is pregnant or broke up or whatever.  My main gossip is celebrity stuff, though. ha. When was the last time you were bitten by a bug? I don’t recall. It’s been a long time, thankfully. Have you ever gotten your hair permed? No. Do you have a pair of sunglasses that are worth over $200? I don’t have any sunglasses. I don’t wear ‘em, but if I did I sure wouldn’t spend that much. Not anywhere close. Would you ever go on a trip to Europe? Absolutely. I’d love to. There’s so many places I’d love to visit. Are you brave when it comes to trying new foods? Nopeee. I have the same few foods I rotate between. It’s a small list. When was the last time you saw your significant other? I’m single. Is there a friend that you can always go to for advice? I can go to my mom. Have you ever been to a town/place where the people were just creepy? No. Ew, I hope I never go somewhere like that. What's the fastest you've ever driven in a car? I’ve never driven a car. If you see a piano, are you tempted to go over and play a little something? I would. Especially because it’s been over 10 years since I last played.  Is there someone you know who bakes amazing sweets? Yeah. Are you ashamed of your singing voice? I can’t sing for shit, but it doesn’t stop me from singing to myself or around my family. I try to sound as decent as I can, ha. I’m not like those people on American Idol they show that can’t sing well at all, but they think they can and they’re just on there wailing. lol. Has anyone teased you with the "K-I-S-S-I-N-G" song? Yeah. Have you ever had a dream where you could understand a foreign language? No. That would be weird. What time is it where you are? 4:45AM. Do you have anything important to do tomorrow? I have my Bible study stuff. Have you ever owned a beanbag chair? Yeah, when I was a kid we had one. If you own a laptop, do you have a case for it? I do. What was the last movie you purchased on DVD? I don’t even remember. I haven’t bought a physical DVD in yearssss.  Are you a fan of retro things? Yeah. Do you do your own laundry? No. I need help with that, which my mom does. Have you ever used pastels? Yes. Is there a song you're listening to at the moment? No. Would you be considered to be knowledgeable about World War 2? Not really. Have you ever been in possession of a hundred dollar bill? Yes. Is there one food you cannot give up, even though you know it's unhealthy? I don’t eat healthy at all, but the worst thing I eat is probably ramen. I love it, though.  Will you bother having a party for your next birthday? Nah, I’m old. I just like doing something lowkey with my parents and brother. Although, last year my aunt and cousin came over for a game night and cheesecake for my birthday and that was fun. I’d be up for that again. If you're with someone right now, do you think it will last? Who was the last person you flipped off? I have no idea. That’s not something I really do. Like, ever. Do you currently have a job? No. What was the last movie that was unable to capture your interest? Hmm. I don’t remember.  Have you heard of the Irish actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers? The name rings a bell. Do you have something to do, that you would rather not do? There’s a few things. Are you, in any way, feeling hopeless right now? I’ve felt that way for a long time. Is there someone you just need to call and talk to? No. I don’t like talking on the phone. Are you one of those people who can eat anything and not gain a pound? Yes. I used to like that about myself, but it’s a problem for me, currently. These past few years I’ve lost weight due to health stuff and as someone who was already thin...yeah, not good. It’s caused problems for me. Are you nails painted at the moment? No. It’s been a few years since I’ve painted my nails. Is there a song you've been listening to lately on repeat? There’s a few songs lately that I always like to listen when listening to music. I just hit shuffle on my playlist, but there’s a few I like to just add to queue to make sure they come up. Lately, it’s been a couple Billie Eilish songs. Do you know who you're planning to ask to your grad prom? I’m 30 years old. I did go to prom; though, but I didn’t have a date. I just went with friends. When was the last time you went shopping? A few weeks ago. Is there anyone who did something absolutely hilarious today? Not so far. Again, it’s really early and I haven’t interacted with anyone, yet.  Are you having one of those days where you feel unattractive? “one of those days” is everyday for me, old sport. I feel unattractive and I am unattractive.  Do you like hot dogs? No. Do you ever get bored of your music collection and get new songs? I like to check out new music and add it to my playlist to add to the rotation, but I love my old stuff, too. Have you ever bought a designer purse? I’ve been gifted one. What's the limit on how much you would pay for a shirt? I’d say like $30. I mean, I’d obviously prefer cheaper if I can find a good sale or have a good coupon, but if not then yeah about $30. Would you ever like to see the Walk of Fame? Sure. Is it currently humid where you are? No. Have you been in any sort of physical pain today? Of course. Have you ever heard of the German movie Das Boot? Nope. Who were the last people you hung out with? My mom and brother. Has someone ever called you "obnoxious"? Not that I’m aware of.  Most commonly, do you obey rules, or break them? I’m more of a rule follower. Do you like making funny faces in pictures? Nah. Is there something you look back on and go "I can't believe I did that"? A lot of things... Are you good at offering advice? I think I used to be. At least, my friends seemed to think so since I was the one they always came to for advice. I wouldn’t say I am now, though. No one should ask me anything. When was the last time you had to resort to a map? I just use Google Maps if I need directions. I’ve never used an actual map. Your significant other: have you told them you love them lately? What was the last thing to confuse you? Life. How many different colors have you dyed your hair? 3. Do you know someone who always spells "bored" like "board"? No. Are you wearing make up right now? No. I haven’t worn makeup in over a year. Is there a phrase that you use a lot? Words and phrases, yeah. Are you old enough to vote? I’ve been old enough to vote for over 10 years now. Do you have a favorite pair of earrings? Yes, the rose gold Minnie Mouse earrings I got for Christmas. Have you ever been to Disneyworld/Disneyland? I’ve been to Disneyland a few times. Have you dated someone more than twice? Not more than twice, but twice. Are you a fan of Keira Knightley? I’m indifferent.  Have you ever resorted to alcohol to make you feel better? It never helped. Maybe briefly, but it was always short lived. Do you own a full-length mirror? Yeah. Do you ever go on PerezHilton.com to get all the celeb gossip? I see his tweets. Have you heard about Mel Gibson's rant/freakout? Yeah. That was ages ago. Do you wish your bedroom was bigger? Yes, that would be nice. My room is quite small and I have too much stuff. Are you aware of the significance of the date April 14th, 1912? I am, actually. Do you ever just lay back and watch the stars? No. Lately have you had much time to relax? You would think so since I spend majority of my time at home in bed. I wouldn’t call it relaxing, though. Not for me. I have health stuff, physically and mentally, and feel like crap, so. Did anything important/changing happen to you in March 2009? That was over 10 years ago, I don’t remember. I guess nothing that important happened. Nothing memorable, at least. Have you ever felt like a "new person"? Yes, but not in a good way. These past few years have changed me and not for the better. Do you own any expensive jewelry? Yes. What size is your TV? 32 inch, I think. Do you occasionally creep on people on Facebook? Nah. I don’t spend a lot of time on Facebook and what little time I do spend I’m just scrolling through my feed “liking” stuff and sharing an occasional post. I won’t say that I’ve never done that, though. ha. Who hasn’t. Has there been someone in your life that just wouldn't leave you alone? Yeah, in the past.  Do you hate to use public bathrooms? Yes. I very rarely do. Do you find most remixes of songs to be good or bad? It really just depends. I’ve heard good ones and I’ve heard shitty ones. There have been some I liked better than the original. Write something to someone who means a lot to you: Nah. I’ll just say goodnight!

[clownsgobeepbeep]

World Where Pumpkins Bloom

And now, part 11 of my story! Hurray!!!

Tbh the next part is kind of when things get...good? X3 Gah I hope stuff here is good both writing and story wise heheh, I feel that I may have rushed with the editing so I pray it’s decent

Tagging @grotesquegabby and @post-itpenny because there’s the slightest mention of some of yours uwu

Part Ten /// Part Twelve

“No, no, no! I said that no cake right now! The cake is going to be rolled in when we start to sing!”

“Jells, take a breather and just relax.”

“How am I supposed to relax when they can’t follow simple orders!?”

“You’re starting to sound like Mama Carol.” mentioned Cosmos who had been standing next to his sister who impatiently tapped her foot, both watching as two men rolled the large cake back and away into the kitchen where it came from. “How about you take a break from this? I’ll do the telling around here and you can go change into your costume.”

“It’s too early for that and knowing you, you’ll either get extremely angry or be too chill about things.” Jelly walked away from her brother who then ran after her, walking alongside her. “Ugh! That table is not in the right place!”

Cosmos stopped walking and turned to the table, waving a hand before the table moved with his movements into what he could assume was the correct place. He then followed his sister once again, watching as she walked to the center of the circus they were inside. Right in the center was the main stage, their cousin Cuckoo standing on it as they did their own leading.

“Cuckoo,” Jelly called out to the ringleader who turned to her with a smile. “Where did you put the section for the gifts?”

“That would be right over there Jelly.” Cuckoo motioned to an area that was already adorned to the theme of the party the D’Vitt family had been working on for the past few days. “Jelly, may I recommend something?”

“You may not.” Jelly sweetly smiled at Cuckoo before turning on her heel, Cosmos having parted away. “Do not tell me to sit down and relax.”

“I was actually going to recommend that you lay and rest, but alright.” Cuckoo laughed to themselves as they walked beside Jelly. “Although I must ask, where do you want the cake to go once the moment arrives?”

“I’d say right on the center, which is why I ordered that platform so that we wouldn’t struggle.”

“Ah yes, of course.” nodded Cuckoo. “And may I ask, where is James?”

“He’s at home with the boys. James is practicing the heart warming speech he has for Ula.” Jelly playfully rolled her eyes. “He’s acting like he’s giving her away at her own wedding. I mean, it’s just Ula’s twenty-first birthday which to humans is like becoming an adult and it’s almost like...I’m giving her away at her own wedding…”

“Jelly.”

“What am I going to do Cuckoo?” Jelly turned to the ringleader who attempted to contain a laugh. “Cuckoo, what if my little girl leaves home? What if Schrader asks for our blessing and proposes to her? Tonight!? What if-”

“Jelly, Jelly.” Cuckoo took hold of Jelly’s shoulders to stop her from rambling any further. “Take a deep breath, and think about what you are saying.”

Jelly followed as Cuckoo instructed,releasing her air which was then followed by a sigh.

“Oh Cuckoo...even as a so-called Elder I act like a paranoid human.” Jelly tugged at her hair. “I’m just glad-”

“Mom?”

The pair soon turned to look behind, a smile gracing Cuckoo’s features as Jelly’s showed a sign of subtle, mixed emotions.

“How do I look?”

“Oh, Ula.” Jelly whispered before going towards her daughter who was now in the circus, a pink dress hugging her body as she wore it. “You...you look…”

“Absolutely stunning.” Cuckoo finished for Jelly. “A flower who continues to bloom fantastically.”

“Thank you.” Ula grinned at Cuckoo before giving them a hug. “And thank you for allowing us to hold our party here.”

“Ula, you are family.” Cuckoo carefully pat Ula’s hair, making sure not to mess it up since they knew she had just gotten it done. “There is no need for thank you. Now-”

“Isn’t it too early for you to be in your costume?” Jelly interrupted before biting her lip. “We wouldn’t want your dress getting ruined. Where’s Schrader? He’s not wearing his suit, right? Why are you here? You’re not supposed to be seeing these things! And-”

“Mom.” Ula was the one to now place her hands on Jelly’s shoulders, smiling at her anxious mother. “Please, just relax. I know you want everything to go well, but I just need you to chill.”

“I will chill,” Jelly cleared her throat. “Once you leave the circus and go hang out with Richard. You two are supposed to be at the pier, having a good time while we finish everything up.”

“But mom-”

“No buts! Now go to the pier and have fun.” Jelly shooed Ula who rolled her eyes with a laugh. “And you don’t come back until it’s time!”

“Alright, alright. I won’t come back.” Ula waved at her mother as she walked away, Jelly giving a sigh before Cuckoo placed a hand on her shoulder.

“I know you think she looks as if she were to be married today-”

“Cuckoo, what the hell are you talking about?” Jelly removed Cuckoo’s hand before making her way towards a table. “You’re cuckoo, Cuckoo.”

“Oh Jelly. It is not like I am the Elder of Time or anything.”

“Whatever Cuckoo. Just go and lead the ring or whatever it is you do.”

_____________

“Ula, you’re gonna be laaate!”

“How is she going to be late if she got ready way before us?”

“And it’s her birthday party!”

“Yeah!”

“Boys,” spoke James as he stood in front of a mirror and slipping into a leather jacket. “It is us who will be late if you do not put your shoes on.”

“But daaad!” whined one of his sons. “I don’t wanna wear shoes.”

“Vincent, please.” James turned to the triplets who all sat on their parents’ bed. “Your mother is already waiting for us at the circus. I feel awful about not being there earlier. Now where is my comb?”

“I think I saw Biollante with it.” Hector shrugged as he swung his legs around, slicking his hair back which was being held down by a nice amount of gel. “Maybe they already ate it.”

“Biollante never had it.” came the voice belonging to Ula, everybody turning to the doorway where she walked in with a comb in hand as she was followed by Biollante. “You left it in the kitchen.”

“Oh, Ula.” James gave a bit of a sigh before approaching Ula with a smile to gratefully take the comb in her hands. “Whatever would I do without your darling?”

“Pfft, I dunno.” Ula slightly shrugged before  looking over at her brothers with a smile. “Um, anyways, I just got  a text from Schrader.”

“Is he near?”

“Oh yeah.” Ula nodded as she read the text messages. “So I think I should be leaving now.”

“What about us?” Davy threw himself backwards so that his back was on the bed. “We wanna go in the fancy limo too!”

“Boys.”

“Yes dad.” the triplets all replied with a sigh, their eyes turning over to their sister who gave a small smile.

“Oh! I think that was the door.” Ula pointed behind her after hearing the doorbell ring. “I should go now.”

“Oh, alright.” James nodded before following his daughter out of the room and to the living room where Ula unlocked the front door. “We will see you at the party then.”

“Mkay.”

“Take care and make good decisions.”

“Okay.”

“And-”

“Dad.” Ula interrupted James. “I’m just going on a limo ride and gonna stall until everything at the party is ready. You’re gonna see me there. It’s not like I’m going to prom and you’re staying here at home worrying about nothing.”

“I…” James remained silent before nodding, giving Ula a smile before carefully hugging her in a tight embrace. “I am very sorry I have been treating you this way. I just worry about you.”

“I know, but I’m here.” Ula snuggled into the hug, hiding her face. “I won’t leave you, dad.”

“Alright.” James nodded before finally letting go of Ula, the two smiling at each other before she finally opened the door to revel Schrader in his suit. “Schrader.”

“Mr. Mendax.” Schrader replied with a smile before glancing over at Ula who grinned ear to ear, so he offered an arm. “Miss D’Vitt.”

“Alright dad, we’ll be leaving now to head to the party later.” Ula kissed James’ cheek before accepting Schrader’s arm. “See ya!”

“See you.” James gave a bit of a wave at the pair as they headed away and into the vehicle parked in front of the house, neither noticing the suspicious glare that was now on James’ expression.

“So, what did you do the entire day before coming to pick me up?” Ula turned to Schrader after they both sat inside the limo, her eyes soon widening in surprise when she felt him kiss her all of a sudden.”

“I’m sorry.” he apologized with a laugh once he pulled away. “You just look so beautiful.”

“I look like this every day.” Ula gently hit Schrader’s shoulder before he shook his head. 

“Look like you’re going to a school dance to get a kiss from your destiny lover? I don’t think so.”

“Whatever.” Ula rolled her eyes before snuggling into Schrader who wrapped an arm around her. “So, we picking up the guys?”

“Yeah, right before we actually go to the party.”

“How long will that take?”

“I don’t know; I just know there’s a certain time we need to be there and it’s not exactly soon.”

“Huh.” Ula tapped her chin for a moment, then removing Schrader’s arm before making her way towards the end of the limo where there was a window that allowed her to see the driver. “Hey, how long till we go pick up our friends?”

“About an hour or so.” the driver answered. “Your mother instructed me to give you and your boyfriend either a leisure ride or let you stop wherever you wanted during that time. After that, we pick up your friends and head to the party.”

“Huh. That sounds pretty nifty.” Ula blinked in surprise before turning to Schrader who was too busy looking through the drinks. “Is it possible for you to take us to a restaurant or something like that?”

“It is. What do you have in mind?”

“I need you to go to this address.” Ula presented the driver with a note she had written earlier. “We’ll just spend some time there, maybe until the hour’s over.”

“Sounds great, I’ll take you there right away.”

“Thanks.” Ula nodded with a smile before heading back to where Schrader was seated, the latter casually drinking from a soda can. “Find anything good?”

“I’m surprised I found some Dr. Pepper.” Schrader proudly presented his soda before drinking from it again. “Anyways, where are we headed?”

“Oh, just somewhere nice. Hopefully it’s not crowded or anything.” Ula innocently grinned before Schrader gave her a look. “I know you’ll like it. Just make sure you don’t drink a lot of Dr. Pepper so you can have another drink over there.”

“We’re not going to a bar or anything, right?” Schrader laughed before wrapping an arm around Ula again.

“Of course not, you know I hate those places unless it comes to the good food.” Ula winked before her eyes turned to the driver who was too focused on the road. “I think you’ll like the place. Good food...if I remember correctly.”

“I trust you.” Schrader kissed the side of Ula’s head before looking out one of the windows. “Is that it? A 1950’s diner?”

Ula turned to look out the window as well, nodding with a small smile.

“It sure is.” she fluffed her hair and fixed the accessories in it before the vehicle made a stop, so she approached the driver’s window again. “We’ll be getting down now, I’m not sure if you’d like to come with or want to order something.”

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll wait here for the two of you. Just take your time.” the driver gave her a reassuring smile. “Go have fun.”

“Thank you.” Ula waved at the driver before she was helped by Schrader out of the vehicle. “Okay. Let’s go get our table.”

“Right.” he nodded before the two made their way to the front door, Schrader opening it and walking in after Ula. “Wow, it’s really not crowded.”

“It’s perfect.” Ula took hold of Schrader’s hand before leading him all the way to one of the booths in the back. “And this booth is perfect.”

“And why is that?”

“It just is.” she reached her hands out to hold Schrader’s again. “I really want a milkshake right now.”

“I think there’ll be plenty at the party.” Schrader looked around the area before turning back to Ula. “But, it’s nice being here. Just the two of us.”

“Yeah, exactly.” Ula nodded. “Nothing like a corny 1950’s date while we dress the part and drink from a single milkshake with two straws.”

“Sounds like the perfect date.” Schrader also nodded before his thumb rubbed on Ula’s knuckles. “You look so beautiful.”

“And you so dashing.” Ula replied. “I love you.”

“Nah, you don’t.” Schrader chuckled out before leaning over the table to plant a kiss onto Ula’s forehead. “But I love you.”

_____________

Once the appropriate time had gone by, the skies had finally grown darker while still having a bright orange coloration to them. Beneath the skies was the circus belonging to Cuckoo who wandered around said tent, a warm smile adorning their features as they greeted guests that arrived.

Cuckoo however also made it their job to keep Jelly at bay, keeping an eye on her as she was put in a “time-out”. After greeting yet another few guests, Cuckoo turned to the table where Jelly was seated, and she directed an insulting motion towards them which merely made them laugh.

“Are you really that upset?” Cuckoo questioned the woman who refused to look at them, turning to face the opposite side with her arms crossed.

“I’m not talking to you.”

“Jelly, you knew I would most certainly not allow you to rush around the circus with stress on your mind.” Cuckoo chuckled as they sat in a chair next to Jelly’s. “Did you not take me seriously?”

“I kind of thought you were joking, yes.” Jelly still did not look at Cuckoo who pat her shoulder. “But let me tell you, you won’t be able to stop me once Ula gets here.”

“Alright, that I can agree on.” Cuckoo nodded before turning to the side, their smile widening. “However, I will resume welcoming guests and attending to every other detail after you have finished greeting Ula.”

“Whatever.”

“So, you might as well take the opportunity.” 

Jelly finally turned to Cuckoo with a frown and a rather confused one. Her nose twitched at the new scent that made her look to the entrance before clasping her hands with a gasp and brightened expression as a new guest arrived.

Cuckoo turned as well, now spotting that new ‘guest’.

“She’s here!” Jelly excitedly exclaimed before her expression turned into one of terror. “She’s here!”

“Jelly-”

“Where’s James!?” Jelly jumped up from her chair before spinnin on the spot, then gasping upon finding her husband standing right in front of her. “Jamie!”

“Jelly, she’s here!” James exclaimed in a whisper as he motioned to the entrance of the circus.

“We need to go to her.” Jelly grabbed his wrist before dragging him through the crowd of applauding party-goers who all now focused on the spotlight on Ula and Shrader. “I already saw her earlier, but she looks so beautiful!”

“You saw her before me!?” James asked in shock before his wife waved a hand at him, both finally stopping once they neared their daughter.

“Ula!” Jelly waved her free arm while slightly bouncing in place, this obviously catching the attention of Ula and Schrader who went towards them. “Oh, look at you two!”

“Mom, dad! Everything looks great!” Ula exclaimed before she was embraced by both of her parents. “I can’t believe you guys did all of this!”

“Anything for our tiny clown.” James booped Ula’s nose after the three parted away. “Schrader, you also look nice. The slicked hair suits you.”

“Thank you.” Schrader bowed his head momentarily before turning to Ula.

“And wow, mom.” Ula laughed as she looked her mother up and down. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear pants, especially such tight ones!”

“They look good, huh?” Jelly showed off her legs.

“Very.” James nodded before he got a small slap from Jelly on the arm.

“Alright you two, now that you and your friends are all here you should go and sit down. We’ll make some announcements later and such, then we can get to dancing.” Jelly grinned in excitement with some soft clapping. “I am so very excited.”

“Me too!” Ula also clapped before taking Schrader’s arm and locking hers into it. “Well, if you guys don’t mind, Schrader and I are gonna go dance!”

“Sounds good.” Jelly nodded, then nudging James’ side before he also nodded.

“Yes, we do not mind at all.” James smiled at Ula who also nodded, then rushing away with Schrader. “I hope they do not ditch the party.”

“Ula would never do that, especially after how hard we worked on making all this happen.” Jelly planted a peck onto James’ lips before walking away, surprisingly in a calm manner.

As James was left alone, he gave one more suspicious look at Ula and Schrader who were already on the dance floor. Soon enough, James made his way out and towards his wife.

_____________

“So,” Ula breathed out as she slow danced with Schrader, her head bowed down as she looked at their feet. “How are we gonna do this?”

“Well,” Schrader shrugged before pulling Ula closer as he also spoke quietly. “We gotta get their attention.”

“I think I know how to do just that.” Ula added before finally looking up at him. “We’ll have to wait just a little longer.”

Time had gone by, hours having already passed as the pair felt that the party was never ending. They had decided to join each other in yet another slow dance, this one being different from the rest that had been filled with loving gazes ad kisses here and there.

“I just…” Ula sighed. “I feel so numb right now.”

“I know, I get it.”

“I’m scared Schrader.”

“There’s no reason for you to be scared.” Schrader forced a comforting smile upon his features as he brought a hand up to Ula’s cheek. “I’m...I’m here for you.”

“No...you’re not.” Ula shook her head, her eyes blinking away what she could tell were tears. “You can’t be.”

“Ula.” Schrader reached out to hold her hand. “Ula...I know this is hard to believe, but you have to believe me.”

“I want to...b-but how can you be talking to me?” Ula felt her lip quiver as she took her hand away from Schrader. “I, I’m so confused...how...I-”

“I know, I know. Just...let me explain everything.” Schrader attempted to calm her down.

Ula’s night had been going well. It had been fantastic, even after a small mistake that took place in a circus that in no way belonged to Cuckoo but was in fact their rival in their eyes. Yet now, Ula was seated back on the couch of her living room where she had left a slumbering Schrader who was now wide awake. She didn’t want to believe that just a few minutes ago she had been conversing with a cat, and one who told her quite the unbelievable story she did not want to believe. 

The cat told her to speak to Schrader, and that was exactly what Ula did...never expecting him too add on to the feline’s tale.

“How did you die?” Ula spoke before Schrader was able to, turning to him once she wiped away stray tears. “And if you’re really dead and not playing some fucked up joke, how is it that you’re talking to me?”

“Ula, I would never do something like that to you.” Schrader took her hands into his again. “I died after your birthday party. You were attacked by the daughter of...Ryder and Missy.”

“What?” Ula blinked a few more times, this time with even more disbelief.

“I’ll get to explaining that other part later. Right now, I just need you to know that their daughter killed me. Grabbed my own mallet and…” Schrader stopped himself, feeling a pain course through his head. “She...she smashed my head into bits and-”

“Are you here because you too got a favor from the Elders or something.” Ula interrupted with an empty tone, her face plain and numb as could be.

“Conllium, yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this earlier?”

“I had to make sure I wasn’t suspicious. Couldn’t blow my cover immediately since there are eyes and ears everywhere.”

“So...you’re alive here...but dead in reality…”

“...yes.”

“And I have a boyfriend who’s not you because you and I broke up before that.”

“Yeah…”

“What’s his name?”

“Atlas.” Schrader breathed out, not even sure what emotions he was feeling in that moment. “You’re...you’re childhood best friends.”

“How’s he look?”

“He’s got dark brown hair, green eyes, glasses. Pretty damn tall but still shorter than me. Has antlers coming out of his head ‘cause he’s a deer dude.” Schrader gave a bit of a laugh, still trying to comfort Ula. “And if I do say so myself, pretty good looking guy. Guess you do know how to pick them.”

To Schrader’s surprise yet gratitude, this was enough to make Ula smile a bit.

“However, Dante and the twins say that he looks like a nerd. That’s their nickname for him.”

“They’re so mean.” Ula quietly giggled to herself, right before her smile faltered and turned back into a frown. “But if he was my boyfriend and I really loved him...how did I forget about him?”

“You didn’t forget him. You were forced to;you were forced to forget every detail of your life so that you could feel that you belong in this world.” Schrader stated before looking down with a sigh.    “Just how...you were forced to love me again.”

“Schrader-”

“That’s not important right now.” Schrader shook his head. “What matters is that I tell you everything about your reality, and that we figure out how to get out of here.”

“Schrader,”

“Maybe we need to-”

“Schrader.” Ula spoke louder before Schrader looked at her, realizing that they were still on the dancefloor. “Schrader,”

“Yeah?”

“Schrader,” Ula started again before placing both of her hands on Schrader’s cheeks, biting her lip as she blinked away tears she would not allow to escape. “You have such a beautiful smile.”

“Ula-”

“Please. Just, never stop smiling.” she continued before pressing her forehead against Schrader’s. “I love you.”

“No.” he shook his head after grabbing Ula’s arms, preventing her from leaning in anymore towards his lips. “You don’t.”

They stared at each other for a moment before Schrader released Ula’s arms and she lowered them, the latter biting her lip as she felt Schrader kiss her forehead.

“But even death, I really love you.”

“Ray-”

“Ula!~” Jelly’s voice sounded from the side, prompting the pair to turn and see just the woman approaching them. “Schrader! It’s time to cut the cake!~”

“Already?” Ula turned to look at the large clock in the circus, but shock came to her upon the realization that there was no clock in sight. “What time is it?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Jelly waved a hand before grabbing Ula’s hand, dragging her through and off the dancefloor until reaching the bottom of the center stage. “Alright, now let’s get you ready Your father should be here any minute.”

“Jelly.” James was now heard, so the girls turned around to see James who smiled at them both. “Ula, ready to cut the cake darling?”

“Of course.” Ula nodded. “But I want Schader up there with us too.”

“Oh yes of course! We must have lost him on the way here.” Jelly chuckled before Schraer was finally in their presence. “There he is! Now let’s go up on the stage.

“Ready?” Ula whispered to Schrader who nodded, both holding hands rather tightly.

“I guess.”

“May I have everybody’s attention please?” Jelly spoke into her microphone she was handed, the music now stopping as everybody turned to her. “I believe that it is now time to sing Happy Birthday to the birthday girl.~”

Everybody’s attention was now on Ula who stood in the center, her siblings, parents and Schrader standing beside her. All eyes watched as from one side of the stage, two workers rolled in a table with a large cake that made Ula’s eyes widen and her jaw drop. The pumpkin at the very top was then lit up, right before everybody began to sing to Ula who felt her eyes swell with tears. Once done, Ula leaned in to blow the candle out before everybody clapped and Ula embraced her family, then being released as she was handed a large kitchen knife to cut the cake.

Cake slices were distributed to all the guests who focused on their new treats,. However, their attention was once again grabbed once a tapping into the microphone was heard. They all turned, as did Ula and those near her, everybody now staring at James who held the microphone and neared the girl.

“Lily.” he started before clearing his throat, a hand going up to slick his hair back despite it already being styled in such a way. “As your father, I have a few words I would like to speak to you.”

“Dad?”

You know I would do anything for you.” James gently squeezed Ula’s hand. “Lily, you...you have grown into such a beautiful, little lady.”

“Oh, dad...” Ula whispered, her eyes glancing down at  her thumbs which she twiddle, feeling a knot in the pit of her stomach. Besides that, there was a pain in her head just like every single other time something familiar struck her, and she very well knew these words had some kind of familiarity to them.

“What I am trying to say Lily, is that...I am so, very proud of you. Without knowing it,you gave me a chance to better myself and turn into who I am today. You allowed me to become your father, the father of a very talented, intelligent, beautiful, young woman who I thank for such acts of kindness.” James looked at Ula who bit her lip in order to prevent herself from showing too much emotion that she would have liked. “Anybody is fortunate to have you in their life Lily, I know I am. And as I mentioned before, you have grown into such a lady that I have grown to be very proud of.”

“Oh, dad.” Ula tried her hardest to hide what she felt, but even if she knew what she heard was all a figment of her imagination...it resonate deep within her. “Stop, you’re gonna make me cry.”

“I only tell the truth.” James chuckled before using a handkerchief to softly wipe Ula’s eyes. “You deserve all the good in the world. You are such a strong and courageous one and you stand back up no matter how many times you fall. You are such an admirable lady Lily.”

“J...dad…”

“I just need you to know these things, just in case you ever forget darling. I am so glad that I was given the chance to this life, and especially to share it with you as you grow and continue to bloom into the wondrous flower that you are.” James smiled at Ula who accepted the handkerchief he offered to wipe her eyes again. “I know that the night is coming to an end, but I wish you a Happy Birthday.”

Ula then pulled herself away from James to wipe her eyes that finally poured out tears, right before she felt him pull her into a hug that she instantly returned. The girl buried her face into him until they eventually pulled away, James wiping her eyes once again.

“Thank you J...dad.” Ula wiped her eyes one last time. “That...that was very sweet ...I'm so glad...I...I don’t even know what to say….”

“That is alright.” James tucked a strand of Ula’s hair behind her ear. “You do not need to say anything.”

“No.” Ula shook her head before taking the microphone out of his hand. “There is something I need to say.”

Ula looked at both of her parents who each gave her smiles, awaiting the heartfelt speech Ula must have prepared. She then glanced over at Schrader who furrowed his eyebrows at her, motioning as if to ask what she was planning.

“Tonight has been wonderful, probably one of the best nights of my life.” Ula began, roughly clutching onto the microphone she spoke into. “But this is not my life.”

Jelly and James turned to each other, completely perplexed before Jelly stepped towards Ula who got away.

“This is just some illusion. It’s not real and I realize that now.” she told everybody before looking over at James. “You are...you are not my dad...you...you’re just a bunch of pure imagination.”

“Ula, what is going on?” Jelly whispered through grit teeth.

“My dad’s name is Lennie Blueblood and he’s the father of my siblings Davey and Cordelia. My pet is an alien axolotl named Mana, and he has a family of his own. My uncle Cosmos is married to a man named Vespers and they have three kids. My uncle Pepper is married to a woman named Belinda and they have kids like rabbits would. My mom’s best friend is my aunt Maggie who is married to Billy.My best friend is named Amaranthus and I couldn’t stand her when we first met, but I love her like a sister despite her being my cousin. And my-” Ula then stopped herself before looking over at Schrader again, though he made sure to turn away. “My boyfriend’s name is Atlas. That’s my life, my reality and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Ula…” Jelly pressured as she attempted to grab the microphone, Ula tearing her hand and the microphone away which made Jelly frown deeply.

“And now that I have everybody’s attention, I have one more thing to say.” Ula took a deep breath before finally speaking again. “Fuck you Cantarella, you useless piece of shit.”

In that moment, Ula saw as the lights in the circus all turned off to create a dark atmosphere that made her clench her fists. She felt as Schrader stood next to her and grabbed her hand, both then seeing as a series of pink lights turned on in the darkness.

“What’s with the pink lights?” Ula whispered before feeling Schrader securely dug his fingers into her arm.

“Those aren’t pink lights.” he took a step back, taking Ula with him as they realized the pink was everywhere. “They’re eyes.”

“I think it’s about time we ditch the party.”

“Yeah.” Schrader nodded before he and Ula made a run for it, jumping off the stage and kicking some guests on the way down before pushing through everybody that attempted to stop them. “May I ask what your plan even is!?”

“I just knew that we need to get everybody’s attention but other than that, my mind’s blank!” Ula exclaimed  before stopping in her tracks. “Wait!”

“No time for waiting!” Schrader grabbed her by the wrist in an attempt to drag her away from the crowd of pink eyed shadows that chased after them. “They’re going to get us!”

“No, wait! I need the cake knife!”

“Knife!? What for!?”

“I saw this in an episode of Batman: The Animated Series!”

“Ula!” Schrader groaned before picking her up, running even faster before they finally got out of the circus and lost the others. “I know this is all fake but this isn’t some hero television show!”

“I know, I know!” Ula replied, then whispering once Schrader hid behind a tree with Ula still in his arms. “But this stuff always works in movies and shows, I’ve seen it more than once. But there’s this episode with the Mad Hatter, and-”

“Ula…!”

“Oh! I’ll get the knife myself!” Ula removed herself from Schrader’s arms, hopping down and creating a rabbit hole in the ground which she jumped into. “Come on!”

Schrader searched the area for a moment, making sure nobody else was near, then jumping into the hole that lead him and Ula back into the circus. He remained silent as did the entire circus, the only sound being the music that ever so softly played quite ominously in the darkness.

“This way.” he felt Ula grab his wrist, the two walking over to the stage before Schrader helped Ula climb onto it. However, before he too was able to get on, the lights in the circus all turned on and Schrader was pulled back by arms grabbing him from every side.

“Schrader!” Ula exclaimed before rushing towards the cake, grabbing the large knife that she held close to her. Her eyes widened at the sight that was Schrader being held down by the hands of her parents and brothers that all glared at her with pink eyes.

“Oh shit…” she muttered once realizing that she was actually surrounded by pink eyes everywhere. “Oh shit, shit, shit.”

“Put the knife down.” commanded her mother in a distorted voice, her frown then turning into a sweet smile. “Please my little oyster, put the knife down.”

“No!”

“This is all but a grave mistake.” James commented as his nails dug into Schrader. “Please, let us love you.”

“No.” Ula shook her head as she now pointed the knife at them. “Fuck you.”

“Don’t you love us Ula?” the triplets asked with innocent voices. “We love you, big sister!”

“Fuck off!”

“Don’t speak to your brothers with such foul language.” Jelly frowned one again, pressing her sharp, elongated nails against Schrader’s throat. “Or I’ll kill him.”

“And we’ll especially kill him if you don’t stay with us.” the triplets nodded as their nails grew into claws as well.

“You have always wanted a father, correct?” James smiled at Ula who’s glare started to falter. “Here I am darling.”

“D...dad…” Ula started to lower the knife, then shaking her head as she slashed at the air. “You’re not my dad! Lennie is!”

At this, James gave a glare before turning to look at Schrader who struggled to get out of the family’s grip. 

“If you don’t stay with us, we’ll kill him.” James threatened, everybody then hearing as Ula gave a laugh.

“Do it.” Ula continued to laugh. “Do it, asshole.”

“Ula.” Schrader breathed out as he glanced down at Jelly’s and the triplets’ claws. “What are you doing?”

“Trust me.” Ula mouthed to Schader before her eyes went back to James. “Go ahead and kill him. I bet you won’t do it.”

James and the others scowled at Ula, then turning to Schrader before claws were dug and slashed into him. Ula made sure to turn away at the sight, not wanting to relive the memory of Schrader dying, even if she didn’t remember the first one.

“And now,” Ula shut her eyes as she gripped onto the knife very tightly. Her eyes opened for one last time before she glanced at James and despite her determination, Ula felt a twinge of pain in her chest.

“Goodbye.”

“Ula, don’t!” James exclaimed before plunging the knife right into her back, choking out a breath of air before she cut a straight line down.