#got high as shit last night and let me tell you... NO filter whatsoever

[mxgyver]

.

[jiye0ngs]

POV: YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON YOO JIYOUNG — alternatively titled: love is stored in the (Eating together) (going on walks by the river) (holding hands) (tender gazes)

✯ notes: jiyoung x sapphic mc , office romance (?) , second pov

- it all began when Inhyuk Came Down With the Flu and you had to step in as a substitute secretary.

- the arrangement was supposed to last for 3-4 days until inhyuk came back. it wasn’t a totally unpleasant experience — after all, you did get the privilege of working with the chairwoman of shinhwa for a couple of days. this was a one in a lifetime chance and you werent going to waste it!

- the only downside was having a heavier workload. meeting after meeting, assessment after assessment; within the first 12 hours of the job you wanted nothing more than to go home, have a long, hot shower, and get 72 hours of sleep maybe. seriously, how was inhyuk able to do this?

- either way, you still appreciate the opportunity. you do notice that jiyoung looks as tired as you do, though, so you try to cheer her up somehow by bringing her hot snacks and cold drinks.

- (”what’s this?” she had asked the first time you did it. she had this tiny smile on her face and a tiny part of your brain was preening, wow, I Made Yoo Jiyoung Smile.

“it’s snack time,” you replied. no brain filter whatsoever. fuck, get it together you dumb bitch. “no, i mean. i got it for you! you might be hungry.”

then jiyoung smiled again, and holy shit was the heart supposed to do somersaults like this? “thank you. this one’s my favorite, by the way.”)

- okay, so that was a success. so maybe you do it again. and again. and again.

- you buy her strawberry pepero and packs of banana milk. you scribble tiny messages on pink post-it notes (your best set of scented ones too!) and stick it along with the snacks. you take note of what her favorite food is, and what she likes the most, and whether she liked her coffee cold or hot.

- soon enough, you start walking home with her and making sure she gets to the apartment safely. you walk to the bus station together and you stop by the convenience store to get your last dose of caffeine of the day together. you even walk by the riverside together at times, eating convenience store fried chicken together as the sun set. you make small talk, and you discuss future plans at work, and you banter sometimes. if the banter crosses the line and becomes subtle flirting between the two of you, then there wasn’t anyone to know except you and jiyoung.

- (inhyuk hasn’t come back yet at this point, and you’re beginning to worry, really, but some part of you hoped he wouldn’t pop up out of nowhere just when you were just starting to grow closer to jiyoung like this.)

- she invites you for over dinner one night and you say, sure, i’d love to! and you’re promptly thrown into a night of feasting on greasy takeout food with the yoo siblings and watching high-tension dramas. yoo jisuk was probably the only teenager you’ve ever seen to be this emotional over a 16-episode show about the usual love affair, evil stepmother, and death by The Truck of Doom — but to be honest, yoo jiyoung was also the only person you’ve ever seen to not be engrossed in such show.

- the day ends with jisuk subtly asking his sister to let you stay over and jiyoung telling him no (”but noona, who will i curse this love triangle with together now?”). she walks you to the door instead, and your hands brush together a little, and she tells you with the tiniest smile — i had a lot of fun today. i wouldn’t mind if you’d come over again, just like jisuk said.

- (you do not sleep that night. you cannot sleep. your heart is racing like a literal horse in an open field. miss chairwoman. why are you doing this to me.)

- (do i have a crush on her. you think to yourself. immediately, you think about jiyoung’s face of displeasure (scrunched up nose, very microscopic pout) at jisuk wheezing at the cheesy drama. immediately also, you answer: wow. maybe i do.)

- and on the next day, inhyuk comes back! you dreaded the moment you’d stop seeing jiyoung, your newfound friend (and possibly crush), but to your suprise, jiyoung offers to let you and inhyuk work together side-by-side.

- (“that’s great!” inhyuk said then, clapping in joy. “i’ll leave the hard stuff for someone else to do now!”

you choked. “uh,”

jiyoung sighed as inhyuk chuckled light-heartedly. “ahem.”)

- things go back to normal after that. you work on arranging meetings and official sparrings for shinhwa members. you go on trips to see high-ranking awakeners with jiyoung. you kick inhyuk’s shins under meeting tables when jiyoung isn’t looking. he kicks back. she very much knows what you’re both doing but chooses not to say anything and sighs in exasperation instead.

- you and jiyoung walk home together, work together, eat snacks together. you bring her replenishments and ask if she’s feeling well, if she’s alright. you make an effort to go home earlier to accompany her to her apartment. honestly, some of your coworkers even began to notice what was happening. got yourself a boyfriend now, did you? look at you, coming home early and everything, they’d tease, bumping your shoulders at the printing office. you snort. as if. then they’d smack the printer twice because the godforsaken thing never works and reply without missing a beat, a girlfriend, then? and then you’d promptly glitch right then and there because you just thought of the chairwoman. and shit — since when did your brain want to correlate Yoo Jiyoung with the word Girlfriend? and why were you so enthralled by that?

- you ignore it. it’s fine. you were fine. your coworkers were Nosy and Irrelevant. you would definitely not want to see their smug faces during your wedding and — wait, wedding? what wedding? with jiyoung? what the fuck what the fuck —

- one evening, inhyuk tells jiyoung she’s invited to a dinner party with other higher-ups from other awakened organizations, and that’s how you wind up in a table for twenty-four along with other awakeners. you drink. you eat. you give pieces food to jiyoung that you know she’ll like — try this, it’s good — and she does the same for you. inhyuk drags the both of you to a noraebang once the party had ended and opted to let the three of you sing your hearts out for the first time in a while. you belt creaky high notes. you sing off-key ballads with inhyuk. jiyoung laughs at you both, and it’s the happiest you’ve seen her smile in a while. your hand bumps against hers on the walk home. she wraps her pinky around yours. you decide to swallow your heart growing bigger in your throat and hold her whole hand in your own.

- what happens next is solely up to the divine fabric of the universe, but you decide to roll with it anyway — you get braver every day, and on the walks home your hand reaches for hers first. when she wants to stay by the river to look at the sunset, you ignore the phenomenon of literal sunlight spilling over the serene river happening in front of you and look at her instead. there’s a small beauty mark on her right cheekbone, and her hair really was smooth and dark and silky, and she was so, so beautiful and so, so charming.

- she was yoo jiyoung, and you were in love with her.

- you walk home together that evening like always. jiyoung had to pick something up from the shinhwa headquarters so you make a detour there first. you wait for her by the lobby. it’s freezing. you were just thinking of buying a heat pack from the convenience store when some Random Dude comes up to jiyoung (who was just exiting the main entryway) and asks, “hello miss, you seem lonely. would you like to let me give you a ride home? “

- without a beat, jiyoung answers, “no, i’m here with my girlfriend.”

- you watch with bursting pride as the man backed away, shellshocked, and jiyoung made her way towards you — heels click-clacking loudly on the pavement — and laced your hand in your own.

- you take it. you have literally glued your mouth shut. you walk for a good twenty steps before you stop, turn to her, and say, “we’re girlfriends now?”

- jiyoung blinked. you can feel her hand go lax in your own, and you see the color rising in her cheeks. you have an inkling that it wasn’t because of the cold.

- “if you want to be.” she says. her hand tightens around your own, squeezing and unsqueezing. “i’d...very much like that.”

- you suck in a breath. holy shit. your mind was freezing over and bursting into flames at the same time. so was the rest of your body, and your hand especially, which was becoming clammier by the minute.

- “okay.” you manage to choke out. a smile melts on jiyoung’s face and the breath is knocked out of your lungs again. “okay. i like that a lot as well.”

- you stand unmoving under the street lamps for a few moments. the tree branches above you rustled slightly from the evening breeze, and the two yellow eyes of a cat on somebody’s roof stared at you two. your hand felt it was burning from where it was entwined with jiyoung’s own.

- “chairwoman,” you stepped closer to her. “jiyoung. can i kiss you?”

- jiyoung smiles. the corner of her eyes crinkle, and there’s something akin to fondness radiating off her. your heart is on fire when she says, “please do so,” and grabs your neck and slots her lips above your own.

- the first thing you think of is, wow, her lips are warm. and really, even in this freezing cold, your skin burned wherever jiyoung’s fingertips landed. first, your cheeks, then your jaw, then your shoulders. you can faintly taste the expensive lipstick she always wore. the back of your mind registers she’s tiptoeing a little to match your height. you choke on mental happy tears — oh, wow. your heart doesn’t stop it’s gymnastic routine. you feel like one of those main characters from the dramas.

- when you pull apart, you don’t say anything like wow, that was nice or hey, i’m in love with you. instead, you reach out and smoothen her bangs that had accidentally gone a little askew from where it brushed against your face moments ago. (it’s like petting a cat). and then you say, “i’m in love with you.”

- jiyoung stares at you, wide-eyed. it’s the most flustered you’ve ever seen her. then she coughs, dusts down invisible lint from her clothes a bit. she smiles again. “i’m glad to know that. it would have been very unfortunate if i were the only one that felt that way.”

“you have a crush on me??”

“i just kissed you moments ago...?”

“yeah, but stil!! you have a crush on me???”

“we’re girlfriends now too, just to remind you...”

(you meant to say “GIRLFRIENDS??” at this part, but you short-circuited from the butterflies corrupting your nervous system, and your giddiness got the best of you, so it just came out as ‘IGRLGRLGFRIENDS?)

- you both laugh it off and begin the walk home again. this time, your hand drifts to hers, and her hand drifts to yours, and you don’t need to push down your heart growing bigger and bigger in your chest and in your throat anymore. you let your heart overcome you. you let it soar.

bonus:

- ( jisuk was ecstatic at the prospect of you staying over to watch dramas with him all night. (”hell yes!” he had cheered). what he was not so enthusiastic about, though, was the fact that jiyoung had a Girlfriend now, and that (in his words) ‘god forbid if i ever catch my sister doing anything cheesy or corny....’)

- (as expected, that was followed by a stray throw pillow to jisuk’s head and jiyoung saying, “i am neither cheesy nor corny, yoo jisuk, shut your mouth.”

you make her way towards jiyoung and kiss her on the cheek. “yeah, but i am. prepare for the worst!)

- (”hey, inhyuk...” you approach you co-secretary the next day and elbow him in the side. “thanks for getting sick that day.”

“what in the world is that supposed to mean?” inhyuk turned to you with an incredulous look in his eye, but you were already sauntering away and waving a leisurely hand at him. you had places to go and a girlfriend to go on a date with. you couldn’t just waste your time on things like this anymore, you know?)

[miss-choco-chips]

From Baby to Babe~

I once wrote this  https://miss-choco-chips.tumblr.com/post/190983954737/theres-a-point-in-all-the-rouges-gallerys-lives and @theturdis wanted a fic about it, so... Just remember, you asked for this hon. This ain’t my fault.

Tagging @animemangasoul who just told me to tag them the next time I wrote something. 

Fair warning everyone, I somehow did this in one sitting, and, I can’t stress this enough, there’s no edit whatsoever. Like, none. Enjoy, if you can ignore the eyesore of my multiple mistakes.

----.----

Bruce despairs in the knowledge of his sons growing up hot.

---.---

When Dick came back to Gotham as the new Nightwing for the first time ever… well. 

Bruce didn't like to think about the first suit, back then. All those feathers and glitter, the plunging V neck, the mullet… His son had insisted on it being the trend at the time. Bruce just couldn't grasp how was he supposed to blend into the night and take anyone by surprise. There was too much... everything, and not nearly enough stealth.

He was an innocent man, back then. He looked at a horse gift in the mouth and was completely blindsided when it raised on it’s hind legs and kicked him where it hurted.

When Selina approached him a few weeks after N had come to him with the blueprints of his new suit, he had been quiet relaxed. Or as relaxed as one can be when crouched like a gargoyle and looking over the city. He was just getting back on track after… Jason (it still hurted, and probably always would, to think about him), his new partner helping in ways he couldn’t foresee, violence tampered by Tim’s brilliant smile every time he came to Bruce with the answer to a particularly difficult riddle he had been having trouble with. He had to get his act together, because Tim was so bright, mind so beyond what Bruce could ever aspire to, and he was at such an impressionable age… If Batman allowed himself to fall deeper into despair, he would set a dangerously bad example to the kid, which could be really damaging… to the world at large. He was the kind of kid that B wanted on the side of Justice, because the opposite would be quite catastrophic.

So yes, he had been very distracted lately, merely glancing over Dick’s blueprints, noticing the lack of brilliantine and gold, and giving his wholehearted approval. 

Stupid, innocent man he was. He had needed Catwoman of all people to open his eyes.

(To this day, he still wondered about Alfred’s reason for not warning him sooner. Perhaps, and this was the theory he had running, the old butler had been just so delighted at seeing the Disco suit gone, he would approve almost everything in its place, and Dick’s virtue had never been his responsibility to preserve, so to hell with it.

Betrayal always hurted the worse when it came from those closest to you)

-Hey handsome.

-Cat.

She rolled her eyes, already beyond his brood, and just walked out of the light, joining him into the shadows with a sigh at his dramatics. 

-No theft today?

The woman grimaced a bit, letting herself fall at his side with as much grace as she did everything else. Diamond claws scratched at her scalp, carefully not tearing the frail skin, and Batman finally conceded and turned his head to look at her directly. She was never so hesitant.

-Look. I really, really don’t want to be the one telling you this. I would literally rather leave this to anyone else, but… it’s getting out of hand.

-What is it?

-Nightwing. Hadn’t you noticed anything about him?

That got whatever rest of his attention she hadn’t already caught. Speaking of his sons always had that effect on him.

-What happened to him?

-Nothing, just… He’s been out a lot, hasn’t he? I thought he didn’t operate in the city as much…

She was stalling, which was worryingly out of character for Selina. But since this was about Nightwing, he had to be patient and let her talk her way into whatever information she was going to lay on him.

-I’ve been… -training a new Robin, not that he could tell her that- busy, lately. He’s picking up the slack while I’m focusing on it -a.k.a helping him both patrol the streets and teach Tim. 

-I noticed the changes, yes, whatever therapy you’re doing is great for you -she encouraged, more honest than he thought her capable of. He could already see her deadpan when she figured out the reason for his change, his ‘therapy’ as she put it, was an eleven year old thrusting himself at this dangerous life of his.

-Hm.

-Well… Anything noteworthy about him lately? Crime Fighting related?

Since she was stressing the words so much, he gave them deep thought.

-He has been on a streak lately. A lot more arrests… What’s your point?

He could almost see the second she internally said ‘fuck it’ and just blurted everything out.

-That’s because his new suit is, and this is coming from me, B, indecent, and every criminal out there is focusing more on his ass than his punches and flips so he’s kicking ass easier.

Bruce kicked his way to the forefront of his mind, the father in him hip checking the vigilante out of the way so he could properly freak out.

What? He knew the suit was a lot more tight than the former one, but he’d been so relieved at it being mostly black he hadn’t given more than a cursory look… and he barely saw the man in it, often training together in workout clothes and coming and going to patrol at different times. He… wasn’t prepared for this.

-Excuse me?

-I’m sorry, someone had to tell you. Normally, I’d be completely on board with a suit change from boring to daring, and you know of my good relationship with leather, but I’ve literally seen that kid grow up. If I have to listen to Harley talking about Nightwing’s ass one more time, Ivy won’t need to worry any more about the Joker killing her, because I will do it myself.

He wanted to thank her for standing up for his son, but he was still busy internally screaming.

-You want to hear Riddle’s last work? While looking directly at N, he asked ‘is buttcheeks one word? Or should I spread them?’. And then he winked. Winked, B. At your eighteen year old kid. You need to get your ass on gear and make sure Nighting changes his. I mean, I’m getting used to it, but you’ve been doing great lately, violent wise, and I’d hate for you to relapse because you heard Zsaasz asking N to tie his ropes tighter and harder.

B… needed to go back to the cave and call N back early. They had to talk.

----.----

When Jason came back, the first thing to break past the ‘holy shit my son is alive’ wall surrounding his brain was just how tall he had grown. How strong, how broad, how big. The little boy he had picked up from the street, underfeed and hurting everywhere, had turned out almost bigger than B himself and twice as brave. The wave of pride he felt was massive, but the feeling was short lived. 

Jason was killing criminals, had even attempted to murder Tim. Even if the father in him could, in his desperation, try and overlook the first bit, the same side couldn’t get past the second. Tim was as much his as Jason, and he couldn't turn a blind eye to it.

The relief of him being back that overflowed from Bruce clashed horribly with Batman’s unbending morals, and the two sides warred for days for control. The attack on his youngest son had been the deciding factor in who finally won; Bruce couldn’t fight the darkness in him when he needed it to help protect Robin from his predecessor, as much as it pained him.

Theirs was a long road, a difficult path to come back together as a family after so many mistakes on both parts (more his than Jason’s, he knew, but admitting so was so hard…), but they had finally, finally came back together. All his children, sitting around the dinning table at the manor, throwing food at each other behind Alfred’s back, Dick failing to give Jason a noogie, Tim succeeding in elbowing his way past both of them to claim first picks over the brownies, Damian rolling his eyes while sneakily drawing in his notebook what B suspected was a portrait of the three of them, Cass and Steph laughing at their antics… His heart felt like it could give out.

Again, his mind was anywhere but in… that. Already used to the dirty looks aimed at Nighting, he focused his anger into strength behind every punch, taking care to kick specially hard when aiming at the criminal’s genitals as light punishment for the lust they aimed at his oldest, but not longer trying to essentially castrate them.

He had the hang of it, and it was just one child. He could do damage control with one, it wasn’t that hard. Stephanie wasn’t really his, just under his protection as a mentor, and even then, she was mostly Barbara’s; Cass could and would take care of anyone who dared look at her in a way she didn’t like, so she was also good. Seventeen year old Tim and thirteen year old Damian were babies, so they wouldn't be an issue for a long, long time.

And then. And then, Steph had opened her mouth.

-Why can’t Tim do this? -she had whined, raising the heels to eye level and studying them with profound distaste- I hate fighting on these. He’s much better than me at that anyway, and he makes a hotter chick than I when he goes full out on his undercover gig.

Red Robin, who was walking past her on his way to the training mats, high fived her.

Barbara’s voice came from the Batcomputer, Oracle’s voice filter not needed while they still were on the Cave.

-Because he and Jason can’t act like a couple for more than two hours before one of them breaks into hives or laughter, and this is an all night long gig. 

-Then why can’t Tim and Dick go? You just need a girl as pretty arm candy distaction, the guy is the one who’s gonna do the work, and Nightwing can take care of a few drug dealers himself.

-While Dick is certainly pretty enough to gain permission to enter this very private party -the man, stretching with Tim, stopped mid motion to give the computer finger guns. Barbara coughed to cover a laugh and kept going-, the goal is for him to be invited into the boss’s personal office, and we can only do that if he’s interested in what he sees. From what Tim gathered for me on his last recon, he favours… Jason’s body types more than Dick’s.

Bruce, who was just getting out of the locker room, suit fully in place except from the cowl, raised an eyebrow at that, stopping to analyze his second oldest. Tilting his head, and still as confused, he asked what would undoubtedly bring him an unhealthy amount of regret in the very near future.

-What does that mean? Jason’s...body type? You mean tall? Dick is also pretty tall.

There was total silence in the cave for a few moments. Dick and Tim got up from their positions, shared a look, and made a run for the showers, claiming they were ready for patrol (they weren’t, not warmed up enough, but he had other things to focus on now). Damian, already fully suited, tutted and dragged the hood of his cape over his face, almost completely covering it. Cass looked on impassively, and Stephanie seemed to be getting a worryingly amount of glee from whatever this was.

Jason himself was… blushing? What?

-Who’s gonna tell him? -finally asked Barbara, amusement breaking her professional facade.

-Oh, me, me! Let me do this!

Apparently still a naive man, he nodded at the blonde, ready for someone to clear this up for him.

He was regaled with a half an hour long rant about biceps, pecs, and thighs that could compete against tree trunks and win. It was supported by apparent citations from different criminals that ranged from appreciative to full on scandalous.

In the end, everyone left the cave, Batgirl with a notorious spring on her step, and Bruce had to stay home instead of going out, needing the night to fully process about his second son, almost twenty one but twelve in his mind’s eye, apparently featuring in multiple Arkham calendars. 

He came out of that realization a scarred man, to say the least.

-----.-----

It was barely a few months after his traumatic chat with Stephanie when it happened again. He’d like to say he was ready for this.

He wasn’t.

When Conner Kent found him, he was completely focused on his WE’s work. For once on the office, with the TV providing some white noise in the background, he was fully prepared for a day catching up. He couldn’t keep letting Tim take over most of the work, the kid deserved to have a normal (or as normal as any of them could achieve) teenage life.

He was of course notified the moment the meta breached the city’s limits, but figured he was here on Titan’s business or hanging out with Tim. The light knock on his office window was a big surprise.

-This is unexpected, Conner. What can I do for you? -he greeted after letting him in- Tim isn’t here today, he’s giving a press conference.

-Yeah, I know. I’m actually here for you. We, the team, heard from Tim you’re making the blueprints for his next suit.

This conversation was already going in a very confusing way. Why did they care about Tim’s gear?

-Yes?

-Well, you need to double check with us before you show anything to him -something akin to indignant surprise must have shown in his face, because the meta quickly raised both hands-. We don’t mean that as you needing our approval, of course you’d know better how to keep a non-meta well protected. We know jackshit about kevlar and armor. But it’s the… style, that has us worried.

He let the anger bleed out of him, replaced with puzzlement.

-What do you mean?

Conner looked down, as if gathering strength, then up and straight into Bruce’s eyes, a feat very few younger heroes could achieve. This was serious.

-Tim isn’t big like Jason, or as… stretchy as Dick, but he has… very, very attractive features. I won’t go into detail with you about how thin his waist is, how shapely his legs or cute his ass. That’s not something I need to say or you to hear.

Yes, it definitely wasn’t. Bruce was having an inkling as to where this was headed, and he didn’t like it. Tim was a baby! Barely eighteen and so damn small!

-But I do need to tell you, his ugly ass suits have been good at keeping that all on the downlow. We made fun of him for them, sure, but never encouraged him to change, because we know what will happen if he does. It would be awful. You think Nightwing and Red Hood have it rough? Tim has Ra’s Al Ghul’s undivided attention and appreciation. If we add attraction to it? Mayhem. Absolute mayhem. We can barely keep him from being kidnapped by older, nasty villains as it is. We don’t need the extra work, sir. I’m begging you on behalf of the team, don’t let him get anything that would look good on him. Like that Untranet suit he told me about, for example. That one would be so bad. Or the Red Robin one with tighter pants and a domino under the cowl so he can take it out and flash the world his luscious hair. 

Bruce fell back into his desk chair. Elbows resting on the table, he buried his face into his hands.

A long silence filled the room.

-You already approved and made one of those, right?

A small, shaky nod.

-...The Ultranet one?

A firm shake. 

-Fuck me. The Red Robin with tighter pants and domino?

Another nod. Conner sat abruptly on the empty chair in the other side of the desk, like a puppet with its strings cut.

-Well, fuck. 

Fuck indeed. 

Bruce despaired.

----.----

This time, he would be ready. He swore it on his honor, on his oath, on his parents.

So when Damian turned sixteen, growth spurt kicking in (he towed over Tim, and it wouldn’t be long until he left Dick in the dust as well), he made a thought but necessary call.

He phoned Talia.

-We need to talk. About Damian, and… sex appeal.

Her shock was evident even through the phone.

-Excuse me? My son is a child. He has no such thing.

He closed his eyes. Once, a long time ago, he’d been just as naive. Now he knew better. 

It was a hard lesson to learn, but she needed to. And quickly. Damian was growing faster than his other children. Time was of essence.

-Let me tell you what I wish I knew years ago, when Dick decided to change his Nightwing suit.

She was probably going to hate him for opening her eyes like this, but Bruce just couldn't do this alone. 

He could deal with Talia’s hate, but criminals lusting after his baby son? Hell no. He might actually go rouge.

[hitsuackerman]

Unpredictable (Overhaul x Reader) pt.18

a/n: all i can say is... BRING BACK CHRONOHAUL :) hope ya’ll like the chapter!

warnings: this cannot be read solo

Links: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 19

Masterlist to my other fics: here :)

Overhaul’s waiting list: @jjk-biased @infinite-universe-love @dirtypride @blackymomo03 @azzie @purple-rabanito​ @meximorrita @awesomeee19​​ @celestial-kanzakii​ @laure-lo​ @team-wang-puppy​ @aydience-world​ @choros-main-hoe​ @but-kairis-not-that-smart  @colorseeingchick (i cant seem to tag again :( hope this lands in your timelines!)

“Kurono.” Overhaul snapped. “We’re done for the day. Take Eri-chan to her room and give the new toy to keep her busy.”

Finishing the last part of the job, Kurono pinned Eri’s bandages and carried her. Watching as Overhaul left the room, he felt the little girl trembling in his hold. The past few days, his boss had been a little harsher on the girl and it showed when he opened her up without being warned. Patting her head, the flinch did not help in the tense aura surrounding the base.

Once he locked her doors, he walked down the dimly lit hall and passed by Overhaul’s office. The faint sound of him typing away in his laptop made him stop in his tracks. It was rare for him to even look at his laptop. Something must be bothering him more than ever, for sure.

Knocking on the door, he was told to come in and entered silently.

“You’re on the laptop.” He commented and lazily flopped on the sofa. Taking his mask off, he rubbed his face and leaned on the back rest.

“I can see that.” Overhaul’s eyes remained glued to the screen. “Is there something you need?”

“D’you talk to her yet?” He yawned and stretched his limbs. Legs ready to bounce should his boss show any sign of rage.

“That doesn’t concern you.”

“Just askin’.” He shrugged his shoulders and fiddled with his fingers. “Eri-chan’s in her room now and the toy still didn’t lighten her mood. Not that it ever works.”

He merely hummed and continued typing.

“Mind if I ask what exactly happened?” Kurono sat up with perfect posture. His legs angled to the door, ready to make a run for it. The tension was too much. Even for the precepts. He could care less about the budding lovelife his boss had but the limit was drawing near.  Hearing the laptop slam close, Kurono stood up and inched his way to the door.

“You have absolutely no business learning what happened behind those closed doors. But, if it pleases your curiosity, the woman mentioned her time with Ackerman.” Overhaul impatiently tapped his index finger on the desk. The other hand massaging his temple. “Satisfied?”

“What else did she say?”

“She said that her emotions aren’t there for the bastard and that she has her eyes set on someone else.”

For someone who played shogi skillfully, Kurono had to admit that his friend was as clueless as  the word could imply. Using all of his strength not to twitch his eye at the ignorance being displayed, he let out a sigh and went back to the sofa.

“So why be pissed about it? Clearly she’s interested in you.”

“I am not pissed. I am merely agitated at the turn of events.” He stopped tapping his finger and stood up. Exiting himself out, he decided a long bath might cool his head.

“You do realize she only did that to rile you up. You’re losing to her game, Kai. I bet a shit ton of cash that she wanted to see if a reaction would suffice and looking at you now, she got exactly what she wished.” Kurono talked the fastest he’s ever attempted in his life. “I’ll also bet my money that you ignoring her only adds to her growing problems.”

“And what makes you say that, Kurono?” He was now facing the arrow-haired man. Fists clenched tightly.

“One of the men saw her entering Nighteye’s agency.”

“THAT Nighteye?” He cocked a brow and took a step closer to the sofa.

“Yes. Her car remained parked for quite some time. By the time she left, I was told she was speeding towards the precinct.”

Gathering his thoughts, Chisaki found himself seated across Kurono. His bird mask resting on the table between them. The surgical mask now on full display showing the shadows his face offered. Without realizing it, his brows were furrowed and teeth gritting.

“If it’s bothering you, why not just call her or send a message.” Kurono shrugged.

“If she has been spotted entering the agency, chances are she’s been part of the heroes schemes all this time.” He was nodding to himself. “And she had the audacity to act like she was part of nothing. Smart move for her but not careful enough.”

Squinting at the train of thought he had just heard, Kurono rested his elbows on his thighs.

“So, you think she’s teaming up with the heroes?”

“She is.” He leaned on the back rest.

“She told you?”

“Not outright.”

“What gave her away then?”

“The night I left, she mentioned how the heroes don’t have a clear map of the base and only an outline. That was either a slip or intentional. From the turn of events, it may have been accidental.” The memory of that night, having his body so close to yours made him fiddle with the hem of his gloves. The scene of having your flushed face so near to his made him smirk under the black mask. Glancing at the calendar, though there was no need, it had been three days since the both of you contacted each other.

“Do you think we’ve been bugged?” Kurono asked. His eyes darting from one corner of the room to the other.

“No.” Crossing his arm against his chest, he let out a long sigh. “Not yet, at least. But knowing them, it’s bound to happen and they will use (y/n) for that.”

“What do you intend on doing?”

“Buy me a new sim tomorrow, Kurono. It’s best if communication is cut. The Quirk erasing bullets are nearing its completion. Any upcoming hindrances would disrupt the plan.” Taking his phone out, he checked for any messages. Seeing as there were none, he turned it off and threw the sim card across the table. The small plastic landing inches away from the edge.

“You’re not going to overhaul it?” This was something he was not expecting.

“No. Burn it.”

“You’re…” He took the sim into his hand. “You’re really serious about this.”

"Those rats are on the move. The chances of her bugging our base is high. Knowing she's not the type to refuse, it is best to cancel out any communication." Picking up his mask, he let out a silent sigh and wore the said item. "No need to fret, Kurono. I've already prepared the necessary actions."

"Knowing you, there's no need to fret." He too took his mask and wore it as well. Fixing his hood, he stared at his friend. "What about the Fukuo Kai case?"

"That is in two months. The hype would have died down." Standing up, he fixed his coat and motioned Kurono to follow him out. "Besides. If (y/n) really has an interest in me, she would know the perils of harboring emotions. Let's go. I'm famished."

"Pardon?" Kurono stopped walking and stared at the back of his boss.

"Even the strongest villains need nourishment."

"Oh, uh, sure." Not sure what to do next, he rubbed the hems of hood. "Shall I ready the car?"

Seeing the nod, he blinked himself back to reality and went separate ways. Walking towards the garage, the blue-haired man replayed the events. He wasn't too sure but he could feel how your mannerisms were slowly rubbing off of Kai. Not that he minded, it was just… weird.

Taking the sim from his pocket, Kurono weighed out the options of burning or keeping the small object. Kai or even Overhaul wasn't too fond of keeping mementos, but his sense of gratitude was always strong. His ways of repaying debts were always admirable, no matter how absurd his methods may be.

Once he was now seated in the car, he knew exactly what to do with it.

The following day, Tsukauchi took his seat beside you. A brown paper bag now resting on your desk. After the heart to heart talk inside your car, you are more than glad that nothing has changed. He still treated you as his partner, as well as his close friend.

"Here are some updates for the Fukuo Kai." Reaching out for a folder, Tsukauchi pulled it with his fingertips till he finally grasped it. "We have detected some movements in their western branch. Me and the 4th division will be checking them out 3 days from now. Care to join?"

Checking your schedule, it was vacant and you agreed.

"So what're your plans now?" He asks while grabbing a small chip from your meal. "Nighteye?"

"Yeah. They’ll be discussing who’s who within the eight precepts.” Despite trying your best, you couldn’t help the slight slumping of your shoulders. Slowly nodding at the words that left your mouth, you chuckled and shook your head.

“Are you debating whether or not to tell him you're a part of the scheme?”

“I can’t but I feel like he’s caught up. I tried to call him last night. Yes, I know it’s cheap of me. But, his number was unavailable so…”

“He probably was off doing villainous deeds.” Tsukauchi patted your head and dragged his seat back to his cubicle. “He’d be a real jerk if he won’t contact you within the next few days. Trust me. Not even bad guys can resist the temptation of women.”

“You’re making me sound like a prostitute, Nao~” You commented while checking your emails. For now, nothing caught your eye. The occasional spam emails were present and one from Hawks but you could save that for later. Any more birdmen was not in your priority.

A few minutes passed and you were now engrossed in typing reports. When the lights of your company telephone lit up, your eyes darted to Namase’s door. It had been a long time since the both of you conversed, or let alone saw each other. The fact that he was calling you only meant bad news. Recalling every case you left unsolved, you were quite confident that this was nothing worth worrying about.

Picking up the phone, you braced yourself.

“Namase?”

“Bet you’re wondering why I called you, right?” Right. You forgot. This man held no filter whatsoever. “Well no need to worry. I just had to inform you that we received an anon caller. Do you wanna put him on the line?”

“An Anon caller? For what case?” You grabbed a pen and paper.

“For the Arson case.”

“Can you put him on the line?”

“Sure~”

Namase put the Anon caller thru and you waited till you were sure he wasn’t eavesdropping.

“Hello?” Even if you weren’t sure whether or not you should receive this call.

“Is this (l/n)-san?” His voice was low but clear enough for you to hear. “I think I have some good information about the fires.”

“I’d love to hear it but I had to hand over the case to the HPSC not too long ago. I can give you their hotline number if you want.”

“They scare me. I would prefer it if it was you who passed the message to them. Are you free later at 4pm?”

“Let me just check my schedule.” You knew you were free but you felt the need to look up the person. “Can I have your name, if that’s alright?”

“Tetsu.”

“Okay, Tetsu-san. Where do you want to meet up? Is a cafe alright? Or do you want a private room in the precinct?”

“A cafe please.”

“Alright, We can meet by the Nooks and Books. ’ll be the one wearing black. I’ll see you later.”

With no greetings, the line ended and you put the phone down. Gathering your stuff, you began to skim through each article you recently read about fires. Granted it had been a while since you last heard any news about fires, the tip was or could be useful. Of course having to talk to the HPSC was something you were not looking forward to.

“Nao, I’ll be taking my leave now. Anything you want me to bring when I come back?” You peaked into his rather messy cubicle. “Geez. Calm down with your cases, buddy.”

“This is only for the meantime.” He scratched his neck and stared at the scattered papers and folders. “I’d like a creampuff, though. A creampuff sounds nice in these trying times.”

“Aight. I’ll bring you a box later.” You said as you exited the floor.

It only took a few minutes but you were now seated in another desk. One where you wished you were not a part of. Greeting the heroes who had just entered the meeting room, you smiled at the sight of Deku and Mirio.

“(l/n)-san! Long time no see!” Deku greeted you and took the vacant seat beside you. “How’s work?”

“Work is work. How’s school? Are you holding up? Must be difficult to juggle this raid and academics.”

“It is but we have supplementary classes so I can manage.”

“Your classmates with Uraraka, Asui, and Kirishima, right?”

“Yeah!”

Exchanging a few more small talk with the heroes, you locked eyes with the hero sitting beside you. The scruffy hair, eyes that looked like they haven’t slept a single second, and the trademark scarf resting on his shoulders. Giving a shy smile, Aizawa merely responded with a lazy nod before Nighteye finally entered the room.

“As you all know, today’s agenda will be task distribution. Let’s get on with the details now, shall we?”

The tasks were distributed rather well. Fatgum Agency would be accompanying the front of the team. Right alongside Nighteye and Aizawa. The other heroes were tasked to stay outside and guard the entrance for any possible nuances that might occur. The police staff were divided into two groups. Being given ample time to assign which officers would be in the outer and inner group, you merely nodded and took the list of names.

‘Great. More work.’ Flipping the pages, most officers were people you had worked with before. At least things wouldn’t be so difficult.

“(l/n)-san?” Nighteye snapped your thoughts away. Adjusting his glasses, he rested his elbows on the desk and leaned in. “How’s the task of bugging Overhaul?”

“I haven’t been in touch with any of them for a few days now. I will be trying this week if the situation allows.”

“Alright. If that succeeds then things will go much smoother and will surely pick up speed. Best of luck. Any questions?”

“Are there any updates about the League of Villains being tied with them?” Deku asked.

“As of the moment, there’s no movement from them. So, it’s safe to assume that they only have minor participation in said event.” Nighteye replied without batting an eyelash. He really was confident in this raid.

Feeling guilt rushing through your veins, you shifted in your seat and silently exhaled. Once Nighteye gave the adjournment, you scurried out of the room and made your way to the cafe. It was a bit traffic but you would still be able to arrive on time. With the cafe being near the station, parking would be no trouble.

When things were now settled, you were now walking towards the cafe and found yourself now standing in front of the cashier and saying your order. Taking your number, you looked for a private booth and sat there. It rested in the corner so Tetsu wouldn’t be too uncomfy.

When the clock struck 4, you were now staring at the lobby waiting for that Tetsu to arrive.

Sure enough, a man with a hood entered the cafe and made eye contact with you. Seeing as he walked towards your booth, it was safe to assume that this was Tetsu.

“Are you Tetsu?” You asked the man wearing the hood. With the sunglasses and mask, you could only make out such little skin his face had.

“I cannot stay long. But I came to hand this over.” He slid a small brown envelope. His head hanging low making sure you wouldn’t catch a glimpse at his covered face. “I hope this can assist your case.”

“To be fair, please stay while I go through the contents of this envelope.” Taking the envelope, you slid the content out only to have a sim card laying flat on your palm. “What kind of information does this hold, Tetsu-san?”

“That information is sensitive so you can check its contents before handing it over.”

“But, I’m not part of the Arson case anymore. Would you still want me to hand this in or redact a few messages.”

Overhaul did not mention you were no longer part of the case. Cursing at how blank his mind was, Kurono glanced at the environment before he exhaled deeply.

“I will only say this once, so listen carefully.” He uttered.

“This isn’t about the Arson case now, is it?” Sliding the sim card back, you carefully placed it inside your bag and focused on Tetsu. The words that came out of his mouth made your heart beat faster. Clenching your fists, you braced for whatever he would say next.

“Kai has been on edge and it’s been such a pain in the ass. I don’t know what the hell made you decide to mention Ackerwacker but you got what you wished for.” Kurono’s voice was low. Barely audible due to the cafe’s music. “But, it would be a lie if I said he hasn’t been more human ever since he met you.”

“Can you take your mask and shades off?”

“You’ll probably just arrest me right here.” Kurono took his shades off revealing familiar gray eyes.

“You were that guy from the restaurant?” Your eyes widened at the realization that Overhaul had interfered that early on. “Not that I’m complaining or anything, but ya’ll did me a great favor.”

A slight smirk appeared on his lips as he took the mask off. It felt different having his face exposed after a long time.

“I can see why he took interest in you.”

“Why meet me, though? Wouldn’t this only risk in you being overhauled and shit?”

“I have my ways. Kai instructed me to get rid of his sim card but I don’t know. Perhaps you can make use of it in your private life.”

“Well, to be honest, the heroes don’t fully trust me.” You shrugged. That was nothing new. “It sucks having to juggle work and personal feelings in this particular case. Guess both of us are in a pinch.”

“Perks of being with Kai.”

“You should probably get going… Chronostasis, right?” Putting his disguise back on, a switch flipped in your mind. “Hey you mind if I get your number? If you have one, ofcourse.”

“Why?”

“I like to make my connections.” You winked. When he took out his phone, you in turn took something out of your pocket. Placing it on the table, you pushed the small box towards the villain. “I’ll text you the instructions later, aight?”

“What’s this?”

“You’ll know when you open it.”

With that, Kurono pocketed the small box and left the cafe. When he was out of sight, you rubbed your face and groaned.

“Damn it.”

- - - - -

a/n: hohoho Kurono now enters the picture! hope ya’ll enjoyed this chapter! :) Mimick is still writing down Overhaul’s waiting list! if you guys have any questions or just wanna be tagged :) feel free to spam me! take care!

[legendofzeldaalinktothepast]

Pathetic, Clinging Poetry - Chapter 1 (of 25)

After escaping from the control of her mother, Pearl struggles to adjust to her new life. Her main source of comfort is an old composition notebook of poetry about her ex-girlfriend, and the possibility that she can find her again. 

Human AU. 

Trigger warning for implied abuse. 

Next Chapter 

*

When you embraced me, I felt like my feet could sink into the earth, And I was a flower who'd just sprouted. Yet I'd never been more free. 

*

Anxiety bubbled up in Pearl's chest as she glanced over to the backpack sitting in the corner of her room. She let out a sigh; she still couldn’t believe what she was about to do. Her heart ached for Peony, who she'd tried to convince to come along; but her sister insisted she couldn't bring herself to leave their mother all alone. Every now and then Pearl had considered staying behind just so Peony wouldn't suffer alone -- but she shook those thoughts off right away. She couldn't put this off any longer.

She rose to her feet and stretched, and then went over her mental checklist one last time. She'd packed just about all of the necessities, and enough bottled water and snacks to sustain her for the long car ride ahead. She'd deleted every photo and every last app on her phone; bringing it along only made it easier for someone to track her down, so she planned to leave it behind. All that was left was the tattered composition book Pearl stored beneath her mattress. Once she'd fished it out and slipped it into her bag, Pearl took a deep breath. 'This is not your fault. You wouldn't be doing this if you didn't have to. If she wanted you to stay, she wouldn't have given you so many reasons to leave.' Pearl silently reassured herself.

Slinging the bag over her shoulders, Pearl pushed her bedroom door open and tiptoed down the stairs as quietly as she could manage. A stair inevitably creaked here and there, but not loudly enough to wake anyone.

Pearl froze up once she reached the front door. She tried to reach out for the doorknob, but couldn’t bring her hand to move. Instead, she pressed her head against the door and let out a tiny whine. 'God, I wish I didn’t have to do this… Too late to change my mind now, though.' she thought, brushing a tear from her cheek. After finally pulling herself together, Pearl slowly turned the doorknob and pulled the door open -- flinching as it squeaked -- and stepped out into the chilly spring night. She locked the door behind herself -- hesitating one last time -- before she hurried out to her car and drove off.

*

The first night was unbearable; Pearl knew she shouldn't complain, though. Compared to many others in her situation, she was fairly lucky; she at least had a place to run away to. The couch wasn't even particularly uncomfortable, either; just the unfamiliarity of her surroundings and the chronic cold sweat from her anxiety made everything around her unpleasant.

She sat upright, smoothing out her matted hair; at least she was far away from her mother. That was what mattered more than anything. The sun began to shine through the window, and Pearl whined and buried her face back into her pillow. She'd probably gotten an hour of sleep, if she were to stretch it.

"You alright?"

Pearl flinched at the sudden voice, but she relaxed once she realized it was only Jasper. She was watching her from the doorway of the living room, a somewhat concerned expression on her face, a cup of steaming tea in her hands. "I wish I could say yes." Pearl responded, her voice just above a whisper.

Jasper reached for the string on the tea bag, moving it around in the cup. "Yeah, that's what I expected. And don't take this as me trying to bring you down, but don't expect to feel better right away. You're probably gonna feel like garbage for a while." she said; she took a sip from her cup and winced. "Ouch. There go my taste buds." she mumbled, blowing on the tea in an attempt to cool it off. "Anyway, once it passes –and it will,— you're gonna be glad you got yourself outta there."

Pearl sat upright, putting her head in her hands. "I really can't thank you enough for doing this." she said in an attempt to change the topic. "When I asked you if I could stay with you, I didn't think you'd say yes. I'd just been planning to live in my car until... I don't even know." she continued. "So... when you said yes, I really felt like I’d been blessed.”

"Pfft, please. I'm just doing what any decent human would if they could." Jasper said, setting her mug on the coffee table and sitting down beside Pearl. "Besides, it gets lonely around here. Sure, I've got my sister, but still. I've missed you."

Pearl couldn't help but blush. "Is there anything you'd like me to do while you're gone?" she asked.

Jasper shrugged. "I dunno. Don't burn the house down. Make some brownies or something."

"No, I'm serious! Give me a list of chores or something, I don't want to stay around here and be a burden on you!" Pearl insisted, clasping her hands.

"Pearl, just relax. You haven’t even been here for a whole day, and if I remember anything about you from high school, it's that you're clean as can be and eat like a bird. I don't think you're going to be a burden on either of us." Jasper said, resting a hand on Pearl's shoulder. "Just... chill."

Even though it should have been comforting, Jasper's stubbornness only frustrated Pearl. She got antsy when she didn't have anything to do... Even if there wasn't anything Jasper wanted from her, perhaps she could find something to clean or organize after she left… "...Alright. I'll focus on myself today -- or at least try to."

"Good. That's what I wanted to hear. I don't want you to do a single chore today, alright?" Jasper said, standing up and heading out of the living room. She stopped right in front of the doorway, glancing back at Pearl. "Except brownies. You should make brownies."

Pearl smiled and rolled her eyes. "Of course. I'll make my special recipe."

"Who the hell are you talking to at six in the morning?” a voice called from upstairs.

"Really, Ame? You forgot Pearl was here?" Jasper called. “I’m just making sure she’s comfortable before I go to work.”

"Oh, right." Amethyst peered into the living room from the top of the stairs, her hair a tangled mess. "Welp, I'm going back to bed, then. Nighty night, nerds."

"Nighty night, butthead." Jasper said. Once Amethyst had retreated back to her room, she turned back to Pearl. "On top of not burning the house down... Try to be quiet for Amethyst. She usually sleeps til noon and gets unbearable when she doesn't get her full twelve hours."

Pearl smiled. "I don't think that'll be a problem."

"I didn't think so either." Jasper said, continuing into the entry room and grabbing her coat from the closet. "Well, I gotta work now, as much as I'd rather stay here. Feel free to help yourself to whatever food we have. See you around four."

"See you later!" Pearl said, waving to Jasper as she headed out the door. Once she was gone, she flopped back down onto the couch and buried her face into the pillow, hoping to block out the sunlight that way. Talking to Jasper had helped her relax a bit, so maybe she’d be able to get a little sleep... The more she laid in silence, however, the more her mind was free to race, and she definitely couldn’t afford that. So she dragged herself to her feet and rubbed her eyes, groaning as she forced herself to stretch. Perhaps she could perk herself up with a little tea and catch up on sleep later...

* 

The sweet, chocolate scent of brownies filled the house; Pearl hummed to herself as she put on a pair of oven mitts and pulled the pan out of the oven, placing it on top of the stove.

"Oooh, watcha making?" Amethyst asked, her mere presence causing Pearl to jump in surprise.

"J-just some brownies." Pearl said, trying to hide just how much Amethyst had startled her. She didn't want to make her feel bad when she’d meant no harm… "They're for Jasper, but you're welcome to have some as well."

"Aw yeah!" Amethyst said with a grin. She grabbed a knife and cut out a huge slice of the brownie, attempting to scoop it onto a plate; but because it was still hot, it all fell apart into a pile of mush. She simply shrugged; "What matters is the taste, even if it's ugly." Amethyst said. She grabbed a fork from the dishwasher and sat down at the table, taking a bite. "Ouch, fuck, hot!"

Pearl stifled a giggle; what was with these two constantly burning their tongues? Did it run in the family or something? "Yes, well, it did just come out of the oven."

Amethyst rolled her eyes, taking a sip of water to cool her mouth off. "Yeah, yeah. Anyway." she began once she recovered, giving Pearl a curious-yet-teasing look. "So uh, what's your deal?"

Pearl was startled by the suddenness of her question; what was that even supposed to mean? "My... deal?"

"Yeah. I mean, Jasper didn't tell me jackshit about why you're even staying here. At first I thought you guys were banging or something, but then I wondered, why'd she make you sleep on the couch? Is it some obscure fetish I'm not aware of?"

Pearl blushed, cupping a hand over her mouth. "Dear Lord, no!" she gasped. Amethyst burst into laughter at the reaction, which only flustered Pearl even more. Amethyst apparently had no filter whatsoever... "She... Jasper allowed me to stay here because I needed to get away from where I was living. She was kind enough to give me a couch to sleep on."

"Mhm." Amethyst said once she recovered from laughing, wiping a tear from her eye. "And where were you living before?"

'She sure is nosy...' Pearl thought. "With my mother. A few states over. She was... very controlling. I couldn't stand to live with her any longer, so I ran away." Pearl said.

"Aw, that sucks." Amethyst said, taking another bite of her brownie; she looked a bit uncomfortable, as if she hadn't expected Pearl's answer to be that serious. "Sorry you had to deal with that shit. Also, these brownies are good as fuck."

Pearl tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, sitting down at the table across from Amethyst. She was somewhat thankful for the awkward change in conversation Amethyst had proposed. "Oh, thank you. I came up with the recipe myself! Or, well, I took another recipe and altered it until I thought it was perfect." Pearl said, resting her arms on the table and twiddling her thumbs. "Lots of chocolate chips is what makes them so gooey."

"I can tell. You're way better at this than Jasper." Amethyst said, resting her elbow on the table. "She always either burns or under-cooks her shit. You should give her cooking lessons." she teased, pushing her plate aside once she'd finished.

"Aw, well... I wouldn't want to be condescending." Pearl said, glancing to the side.

"Pfft. Not like she's never condescending." Amethyst said. "Also uh, I'm being super nosy again, and you can tell me to shut up if you want..." she began; Pearl tensed, praying Amethyst would have some common sense and not ask anything too intrusive. "But how do you know Jasper? Like, she's never mentioned you before. I mean, she barely tells me anything about her life, but I feel I’d at least have heard your name at some point. But it’s almost like she just pulled you out of thin air.”

Pearl couldn't help but let out a tiny sigh of relief. That wasn't the type of question she'd been expecting. "Oh, we used to be very close friends a while back. In high school, to be exact. But when I started doing home schooling instead, we sort of drifted apart. We hadn't really talked for years, up until a few weeks ago when I found her on Facebook." Pearl smiled softly. "As soon as she accepted my request, I explained my whole situation to her. I thought my chances were slim, that I'd have to just live in my car or something -- and it would have been completely reasonable for her to tell me no, so... I was really thankful when she said I could come stay with you two."

"Hm… That’s kinda weird of her. She never seemed like the type to just let an old high school friend come and sleep on our couch.” Amethyst said. "That said, she hasn't kicked me outta the house yet. But I guess I have an advantage because I'm her sister."

Pearl rose from her chair, tiptoeing over to the cabinet and grabbing a box of plastic wrap. "It's strange, because I don't even remember Jasper having a sister. How much younger are you?" she asked, covering up the tray of brownies.

"Like, three years. But I got adopted when I was fifteen and she was in her senior year of high school." Amethyst said.

"Ah, that's why I probably never heard about you, then." Pearl said, trying to hide her surprise; that would mean she was twenty three! Amethyst looked far younger than that, but perhaps she shouldn't have assumed. "I got pulled out of high school in the middle of my junior year -- I was a year ahead of Jasper."

"Lucky!" Amethyst said. "High school was absolute hell for me. I begged my parents to let me do home school, or at least go to a different school, but they insisted I stay right where I was." she pouted.

"Well..." Pearl began, but trailed off. She'd already overshared enough to Amethyst; she wasn't sure she was comfortable telling her the actual reason she'd been taken out of high school. "At least it's over now. I know high school can be hard. It wasn't exactly easy for me, either -- but I won't compare it to your experience, because I don't know what it was like for you. Still... I went through quite a bit of bullying for being a lesbian, among other things as well, b-but it was mostly because I was a lesbian. Jasper and my girlfriend, Rose, were the only friends I really had.”

"Yeah, I get you.” Amethyst said with a shrug. “I got treated like shit for being bi, too. Maybe not as bad as it could've been, though, because everyone knew Jasper was my sister and would beat the shit out of anyone who went too far. Still though, girls in my gym class always thought I wanted to fuck them whenever I breathed in their direction." She snorted, rolling her eyes. "It was so annoying... and honestly creepy. What's with homophobes thinking they're so hot?"

"Ugh, I know! That happened to me, too!" Pearl said, giggling. "It was plain ridiculous, honestly. The fact that I already had a girlfriend wasn't enough for them to believe I wasn't interested, I guess." Pearl shrugged, putting the tray of brownies in the fridge. She wasn’t sure where Jasper would prefer she put them, but she didn’t want to take up too much space on the counter. After that, she grabbed a wet wash cloth from the sink and began to wipe off the counter.

"Aww, look at you, cleaning up the kitchen like a good house guest." Amethyst teased. She peered into the sink, noticing it was empty. “You even washed the dishes already, dang.”

“Of course! I wouldn’t want to leave everything a mess.” Pearl said.

As Amethyst watched her, she tapped her fingers on the table for a few moments before speaking again. "So, what are you planning to do today?"

"Probably just... Focus on relaxing, I guess. And cleaning. Not that your house is messy, it’s very nice, it just – it distracts me from worrying." Pearl blushed, hoping that didn’t come off the wrong way. "After that, I might do some reading, and maybe even some job searching online if I get the chance."

"Pfft, that sounds kinda lame." Amethyst said. "You wanna hang out with me and some friends instead?"

"Oh, certainly not today. I don't think I would do well with a crowd... I'm still adjusting, I suppose." Pearl said, shyly wringing her hands. "But I appreciate the offer. Maybe another time we could work something out."

"Alriiiight." Amethyst said, as if she didn't fully believe Pearl's response. "But if you change your mind, just lemme know. I'll be up in my room now." she continued, going up the stairs.

"I'll certainly let you know if I do!" Pearl responded, but she had no intention of doing so. Amethyst seemed nice -- although a bit nosy at times, but with good intentions -- but it had been a little over a decade since she'd done anything close to "going out". If she were to ever consider doing something like that, it would have to be long after she'd adjusted to her new environment... 

[cutebutstillsingle]

This one really stings to admit, but some of us women fall victim to narcissistic men without realizing the signs.  They seem so charismatic and charming at first.  They shower you with praise at first and really make it seem like they want to (and I’m going to quote my last narcissistic situations hip) worship you.  But then the narcissism starts to bleed through the facade. 

You have to be aware enough; which is the hard  part. And which is why I’m posting this.  A narcissist is going to let some fucked up comments drop; and/or they are going to behave in ways that just don’t line up.  It will make your mind do the double-take, cause you to internally assess even just for brief moments you may not even consciously perceive, that their response doesn’t fully make sense.  You might find him making weird excuses about why he can’t just behave like a normal dude, or you literally might even catch him in paradoxical behaviors if you have the wherewithal to assess the situation from a distance.  

 HINT: normal, emotionally healthy guys behave like your platonic guy friends, and like your best girl friends who you love spending time with, but aren’t sexually attracted to.  Your best friends would never make the kinds of comments and excuses a narcissistic guy is going to make.  Your best friends would never behave the way a narcissistic guy will behave.  Your best friends set the bar of how you expect your romantic partner to behave.   The narccisist’s comments and/or behaviors succeed in making you feel less and less confident about yourself, and less comfortable with the nature of the situationship.  

Another alarm bell of a narcissist is that he will push everything to move way the hell too fast.  So you will go from complete strangers to couple or complete strangers to sex way the hell too fast.  A lot of advice out there wants to brush off this idea that people can have sex too soon, and that having one night stands or having sex on the first date is socially acceptable.  As someone whose mind and emotions got momentarily totally fucked over thanks to unknowingly entertaining a narcissist, let me warn you that having sex way too soon is dangerous, ladies, not only because he could give you STDs even if you use condoms (ask me how I know-- there is a host of STDs that cannot be prevented by condoms, google it), but also because sex is one of the most powerful drugs there is, and it starts to cloud your rational judgement.  Your ability to rationally assess situations is what keeps you out of potentially dangerous situations.  Do you think women just magically and willingly stumble into abusive relationships?  No!  All abusers start off as narcissists, let me assure you.  

To quote an amazing sermon I heard on having sex too soon, “there is no condom for your heart”.  And that’s the thing about getting involved with a narcissist: he’s not going to fuck up your vagina.  He’s going to fuck up your mind, your heart, your sense of trust in men, your emotional wellbeing, and your sense of trust and confidence in yourself. And it’s not going to be easy to reverse this damage, even if you don’t stay with this person.  

As soon as a narcissist reveals his narcissistic true self, you have two options: 

A) Immediately call them on their bullshit at the very first sign of any self-obsessed, or negative comments about you or others; and make it abundantly crystalline clear that when people make those kinds of fucked up comments, or when he behaves in ways that make you feel uncomfortable are not people you want to associate with. And if he does it again, you remind him of the last comment he made, and then you say “I’m so sorry but this isn’t going to work out”. 

The narcissist doesn’t get three chances, he gets two; because you’re paying attention.  And because your mind, heart, and sanity are not worth a third shitty memory.  HINT: any time a guy says something that makes you do the double-take, turns on your fight or flight response, and/or you feel yourself starting to feel insecure, ashamed if any of your friends was to hear him say that kind of shit, or maybe you start to feel a sense of shame about yourself, oh no. And not “oh no!” like “this is crashing and burning”; or “oh no! run away from the boogie man”, I mean “oh no” like “oh h*ll naw, honey. This ain’t gonna work for me”.  Never are those kinds of comments or behaviors EVER going to work for you, if you are a high-quality, self-respecting, kind-hearted winner of a woman.  

Why is catching the signs and hints of narcissism so important?  Because they are going to be artfully and subtly wrapped up in his seduction, charm, and constant reassurance that you are his and he is yours; and he loves and adores you (prolly way the fuck too soon).  These shitty, toxic darts are going to be camouflaged in a forest of all the reasons why you guys are so compatible and all the reasons why he adores you, and all the reasons why you’re so attracted to him.  

The truth is, all people courting you should praise and adore you and remind you why you’re amazing.  They should all fully recognize why it is they want to be with you and why they’re choosing you, and they should not hesitate to share that with you. You should feel attracted to ALL the guys you want to possibly start dating.  But with healthy, normal partners, there are no blow darts laced with emo-toxins involved in the reality whatsoever.  But with a narcissist, these kinds of emotionally toxic “darts” will fully be there and your experience will be riddled with them if you know what to look for.  And please trust me when I warn you that it starts with these little comments, and then it grows from there. 

Option b) the very first time you ever hear a person make negative comments about anyone else our yourself, immediately check them on it and make it clear that won’t work for you.  Watch their reaction, and if their response is not shame-filled, humble, self-correcting, repentant, and abundantly apologetic on incident #1, rapidly GTFO assuming there will be more where that came from. You want to partner with someone loving and whose default nature feels sweet to be around.  

Fellas, females can be narcissists, too.  But it is way more common to meet narcissistic males.  One of my sisters is a hardcore narcissist and don’t even ask me how, but she constantly has boyfriends (which of course never stick around).  She even got one of them to impregnate her; and now that poor unfortunate soul is stuck in her life forever.  

Some of her characteristics are that she drinks way too much and has a history of drug use and drug addiction. <I’m not saying people in recovery  aren’t datable.  But the key is that they need to be 110% fully in recovery and sober of ALL intoxicants if you want to date anyone in recovery.  Trust me.  Been there>.  She’s controlling and always wanting to tell other people how to live their lives. Like literally down to how to train their dog or telling grown adults how to style their hair.  Not just, helpful advice. Controlling.   She’s super critical of nearly anyone she does not need to get something out of (she’s a bully, basically), and 

She speaks negatively about others.  She’s easily argumentative, and can transform what was supposed to be a pleasant family dinner into a personal attack on someone at the dinner table; or predictably create some other highly tense situation that makes you wish you never accepted a dinner invitation.  She may be able to inhibit her true nature for 48 hours, but on day three of being in her company full-time, she WILL transform into her usual narcissistic self. 

 During challenging situations, she loses her patience and temper--she can’t laugh through it and just roll with the reality.  She’s always going to start some sort of a debate and make people feel at odds in social situations.  She also has no filter and will unroll these absurd comments and behaviors in company and in public.  She’ll cut you out of her life, and then when you show up to a family event she’ll act like that never ever happened and never acknowledge it.  People who don’t know her on a deeper level are attracted to her charisma and will sing her praises.  

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

Villainous Heroics - Chapter 2

Look, let me give you the short of it. I fell in absolute love with this AU and now I have the full story plotted out to be around eighteen chapters when fully written. I have not written this much in months. It's worth it.

Note - In the original AU designed by @corndog-patrol, Hizashi worked at a McDonald's type place, but I changed that to be a coffee shop for multiple reasons - mostly because Shota is more likely to go for coffee over actual food and because I am a writer of cliches.

                 Click here to read the work on Archive Of Our Own.

                      Click here to read the work on Fan Fiction Net.

If you found yourself enjoying this, then check out my writing commissions.

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Summary: Eraserhead is an underground hero who is constantly busy and doesn’t have time to be dealing with new villains - even if they aren’t all that villainous and make the night interesting.

Present Mic is the latest up-and-coming villain in the world and he has a point to prove to everyone out there - as long as he doesn’t keep getting distracted by Eraserhead.

Aizawa Shota is someone who soon learns that there is more to someone than the mask they show to the world - especially when it comes to playing heroes and villains.

Yamada Hizashi learns that there is more to heroics and villainy than he could have ever thought - especially in a world where some heroes still care about those lost in the shadows.

(Inspired and dedicated to corndog-patrol’s Villain!Mic AU on Tumblr.)

                            <<First/Last Chapter>> <<Next Chapter>>

                                                 Chapter Two

Yamada Hizashi knew well what this feeling was. He had never felt it as strong as he did now, but what else could it be? Whenever he was around him, Hizashi found his palms becoming drenched in nervous sweat, his heart tripping into overtime like the beats of an EDM song, and his words stumbling over each other in their rush to get out as quickly as possible. He had known the stirrings of this feeling when he was younger and didn’t know the world as well, but now at a comfortable thirty, he knew this was real.

Hizashi was head-over-heels in love with the hero known as Eraserhead and no one could tell him otherwise! Every waking thought seemed to be filled with that suave, mysterious, and sexy man that was always quick to put an end to the fun of ‘Present Mic.’ It was like Hizashi could think of nothing else these days.

“Oi, Yamada! Get your head out of the clouds and go be cashier!” Startling at the rough voice of his boss, Hizashi hid a pout as he shuffled over to the cash register with a long-suffering sigh. Genius was never appreciated in its own time, he supposed.

“Welcome to Lovely Coffee, how may I help you on this lovely day?” If the customer noticed how unenthusiastic he was, she didn’t comment, only ordering with a monotone voice as she stared down at her phone.

Hizashi sighed and tried to focus his thoughts on work even as they kept straying back to Eraserhead. While he had heard of the hero before his villainous debut, he had never known just how funny the man was. Eraser could kick his ass into next week, had a sharp, dry wit that most people seemed to miss, and didn’t even really seem angry whenever he ran into Present Mic - although there were a lot of insults and mocking, when Hizashi reflected on it.

Well, that just meant it was a challenge to get something else out of him! Hizashi may be a villain, but he was a realistic villain with realistic goals. That meant he wasn’t going to stop until he managed to capture Eraserhead and charm him into a date that, with a good deal of luck, would end in a kiss - maybe two!

The only real problem to his master plan, though, seemed to be the fact that none of his traps ever wanted to work. If Hizashi wasn’t stumbling into them himself, then Eraserhead was disabling them with ruthless efficiency or turning them back around on Hizashi himself. He was pretty sure the police were getting a laugh out of Present Mic being brought in with his own handcuffs stuck on him. 

“Welcome to Lovely Coffee.” Maybe the problem was that Eraserhead seemed to take him too seriously as a villain. “How may I-” Hizashi’s words tangled around a startled squeak as he finally noticed who his next customer was.

“Oi, I don’t look that bad.” The words were light and amused more than anything, but Hizashi couldn’t even respond because Eraserhead was standing right in front of him. What was the statistical probability of Eraserhead coming to the coffee shop he worked at? Low. Those odds had to be very, very low. Right, okay, Hizashi was being stared at. He just needed to act natural.

“N- No! I didn’t mean- It was just- Sorry!” Well, at least he wouldn’t be mistaken for his villain persona since his hair was down and he was wearing his regular prescription glasses with the hideous, bulky frame. He also couldn’t seem to get two words out. “How may I help you?”

The man’s eyes trailed to the board behind him and Hizashi couldn’t stop a wince at how sleep deprived he looked. He knew Eraserhead worked nights primarily, but did he ever sleep? His eyes were bloodshot and worryingly red and the bags under his eyes were the size of the sun. Maybe it had something to do with the man’s quirk? Hizashi didn’t know much about Erasure, but he had certainly heard stories considering the prefecture he lived in.

“I’ll just have a black coffee in whatever size is the largest.” Oh, jeez, Eraserhead really didn’t sleep any, huh? He also didn’t seem to have any sense of taste whatsoever if he was asking for black coffee.

“Of course. No problem.” Grabbing a cup, Hizashi glanced behind the man. While there was no one behind him waiting to make him do this, this was still a great opportunity. “What’s the name for the order?”

“Aizawa.” Scribbling the name out with a marker, Hizashi tried to hide his success. While he didn’t know the man’s first name, now he knew that Eraserhead’s name was Aizawa. It… was a good name. Giving his name also proved that he didn’t know who Hizashi really was. “Can I add espresso shots?”

“Oh- Yeah! Definitely.” Really, Hizashi supposed that was unsurprising. The man looked like the walking dead. Hizashi hoped that the other would be able to take a nap, soon. “How many-”

“Six.” Eraserhead - Aizawa - looked him dead in the eyes and didn’t even blink at Hizashi’s expression - which was pure and utter terror.

“S… Six? You, um, you do know-”

“I know.” Right. Okay. Sure.

“Of course, sir. I’ll get right on that.”

While Hizashi would have been delighted to use this opportunity to get more information out of the man, he’d wait until next time they met as hero and villain. Right now, he was a poor barista who was behind on his rent, and Aizawa was a sleep deprived man who had ordered six shots of espresso in his black coffee. Hizashi was only mortal.

                                                                ::

A few nights later proved to be his next fated run in with what would one day be his star-crossed lover. Hizashi had done his research this time, though, and had been ready for every possibility - except for the manufacturer of his latest trap to be a pile of shit.

Caught up in Eraserhead’s scarf and thoroughly unable to move, Hizashi tried not to thank the man for punching him – he at least took some solace in the fact that his brain-to-mouth filter wasn’t completely broken. He also had some solace in the fact that before Eraserhead had shown up, he had dealt with a couple of gang members that were known for beating up teenagers who wouldn’t join them.

“You’re a horrible villain.” The two were face to face and Eraser looked honestly flustered, trying to catch his breath as he pushed his goggles up to rest on his forehead. Hizashi supposed he had put up a bit of a fight, this time, where he was still high off adrenaline from his first fight and the fact Eraserhead had joined him when the gang had started getting a little too pissed.  

“Does that make me a good hero?” The question slipped out before he could stop it, and he almost wished he could take it back as soon as it was out - almost. He was too curious as to how the man would respond to really want to take it back.

“No. It makes you a nuisance.” Ah, well. Hizashi could at least say he was expecting something like that - of course he was. Him? A hero? It was the funniest joke he had ever heard. A part of him that had never quite let go of that dream, though, felt utterly crushed. He quickly hid it with a wide smile.

“Ouch! You wound me, Eraserhead!” It hurt - reminders like that always hurt - but, well, the show must go on.

“I wish,” Eraser muttered, kicking at Hizashi’s heels to get him moving. Hizashi dodged the kick as he started walking, frowning at the man as he did so.

“Hey, hey, these are some high-class leather boots, you know. Do you know much time and money boots like this cost?” Dodging another kick, Hizashi decided that for as in love as he was, Eraserhead was still a little shit. “C’mon, I helped beat up some known thugs, can’t you take it easy on me?”

“You also started a bar fight earlier and threw three people out a window.” Staring for a long moment, Hizashi finally shook his head with a frown.

“I thought it was four?” He could have sworn it was four… Oh, right. “Ah, right, the fourth one was me.”

“Mm. You also robbed a thrift shop.” The look Eraserhead gave him was full of judgement. “There was a jewelry shop right next door, you know.”

“Yeah, but good people work there. The owner of the thrift shop isn’t. He’s a dick who says he’ll sell you back something at the price he gave to you for it, and instead he jacks up the price by almost ten thousand yen.”

“Is that why all his papers and receipts were on fire when I got there.” Was that amusement? Hizashi swore that was some amusement in Eraser’s tone. “That’s illegal, you know.”

“Well, I am a villain.”

Not even an hour later and Hizashi was being handed over to the police in the area, waving at Eraserhead as he was cornered with some paperwork. “Good night, Eraser. I’ll see you next time!”

“Please don’t.” There was what could have almost been a smile on the man’s face as Hizashi let himself be pushed and pulled towards his usual holding cell, the officer guiding him shaking her head.

“You know, if you need help, there are places you can get it - programs and opportunities that you could take part of.”

“Mm, no, I’m good.”

While a few of the cops, like Shelly, were sweet and genuinely concerned about those who deserved it, some of them were utter assholes who were villains in their own right. Hizashi made sure to remember who those were and let them know just how ‘annoying’ he could be when they were on duty.

The ‘regulars’ in the holding cell were much the same way. Some of them were nastier than any villain could be, but a good deal of them were just people down on their luck or in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“How’s your love affair with that hero of yours, Mic?” Swooning into the cell as soon as he was uncuffed, Hizashi clutched his heart and collapsed onto an uncomfortable metal bench.

“I’ll never recover, Lydia, I swear it. Eraserhead is my true love and soulmate and I’ll never be able to do without him again.” The woman snorted and laughed, tired expression leaving in favor of an honest smile.

“You’ll get him. Soulmates always find a way to make it work, after all, yeah?” As Lydia talked, she shifted to hide a younger girl behind her better, Hizashi frowning at the action. “Hm? Oh, Lucy. It’s her first night. Not a good one, either.”

The girl, Lucy, looked to just barely be in her twenties with a shirt a size too small and shoulders and midriff uncovered and bare to the world. Hizashi could easily see why the two were pressed into a corner of the cell, Lydia’s gaze sharp and angry on any man that got too close or let his gaze linger for too long.

“Let me tell you about bad nights,” Hizashi groaned, pitching his voice higher and aiming for dramatic as he stood up with a stretch, fighting with his jacket before getting it off. “I almost thanked him for punching me.”

“You are a wreck, aren’t you?” Lydia stared at the jacket as Hizashi held it out, only taking it when Hizashi gave a smile. “A sweet one, though.”

“Oi, oi, there’s no such thing as a sweet villain!” As soon as the jacket was around Lucy’s shoulders, the girl lost some of her tension, looking at him with a slow smile. “You’ll vouch for me, right, Lucy? I’m the meanest villain on these streets!”

“The absolute worst,” Lucy nodded, voice quiet and small as she slid her arms through the jacket and tucked it around her.

“See, Lydia? You worry so much and yet Lucy here is going to be stronger than me.” The two girls looked at him and Lydia finally gave a sad smile, shaking her head.

“Baby, what are you doing playing villain?”

Before he could answer, there was a tapping against the side of the bars, drawing their attention. “Alright, Present Mic, get over here and make your phone call.”

“Finally! Here I thought you guys were ignoring me, too!” Hizashi pouted and hid his unease at Lydia’s question as he bounced over to accept the burner flip phone, dialing up the number of his boss. “How long am I here for, this time?”

“Two days, at least.” Shelly crossed her arms, looking like a disapproving mother. “More if the owner of the bar and thrift shop press charges.”

“They won’t.” Probably. Shaking his head, Hizashi chatted an excuse as a message that his boss would hear tomorrow morning. Hopefully the man didn’t fire him, but a suddenly out-of-town trip to see his dying grandmother was probably a good enough reason to miss – besides, Jamie could use the extra hours he would be giving up.

Two days would at least give him enough time to think over his latest run-in with Eraserhead and the words that were now stuck running through his head.

You’re a horrible villain.

Baby, what are you doing playing villain?

Such a villainous quirk… Who would ever make you a hero?

Ah, well… He was doing this for more reasons than just ‘playing villain.’ Besides, if he had to be a villain, the least he could do was have a little fun with it.

[logan-are-you-okay]

Just a day at the hospital

It’s been three days... three days since Chase was stabbed by that man. They caught the guy, and apparently there was recordings on that block that caught him saying ‘How’s this for Bro Average?’ Guess he just didn’t like the show... Good thing MARKIPLIER TV has two episodes recorded of a show before they go on, so people won’t be missing their episode this week. Sadly, it’s also been three days since he has last seen Bing. The nurses keeping asking if he can come back, but Chase keeps rejecting him or he’s just asleep when he comes by. The only ones he allows back are his daughter and son. However, Chase keeps screaming whenever he’s asleep. Being woken up by his nightmares, the doctors always ask what’s wrong... but he never tells them. Why should he? It doesn’t injure his physical health so they don’t need to worry about it, right?

Slowly Chase rolls over on his side, trying his best not to yank the things that where helping him breathe. The pain in his chest wasn’t as bad anymore, it just stung and pinched when the stitches where being pulled apart. The worst thing of this all, is that when he’s alone... he’s left to his thoughts. He can’t stop them, it just happens whenever he hears dead noise.

“Sir, one of your family members are here. May I send them in?” A nurse asks as they cracked the door to the room. The hospital here was different then the ones at home. Usually they had curtains to block off each section for each room, but this was a Medicare center. It was almost like the top ER that you had to go to if your injury was super severe. Also the kids where at school right now, the only family member that lives close by was someone he’s never ever met. So... who could it be?

“Yes, you can...” He says with a groggy voice. The IV fluid was really making his mouth dry, and the more he moved his chest, the more it would hurt. God this was so stupid, hooked up to machines for something that he should be able to do on his own. God what was wrong with him? Suddenly the door opens, then promptly shuts. Chase slowly sits up grunting as he goes along, once he’s able to he looks up at the door and his eyes widen. Bing, fucking, Iplier... right there in front of him.

“Sorry, Bro. They wouldn’t let me in any other way.” He says casually. How many times had he tried to get in here and he just... rejected him?

“What did you tell them... which member anyway?” He asks timidly, the tension in the room you couldn’t even cut with a chainsaw.

“That I was your husband.” Chase’s stomach turns into knots as his throat feels like a lump got stuck in it. Why...why of all things would he say that?

“O-Okay then...” Bing then walks over to the chair right next to the bed and pulls it up closer. Chase looks down and plays with his hands. His head was still screaming to fucking run! But his heart kept screaming, IM GONNA GO RUN UP MTN EVEREST WANNA JOIN!? God if his heart goes any faster, you’ll be able to see it through his skin.

“So...” Bing asks, probably trying to start a conversation. Chase just bites his lip as he tries so desperately to stay looking away from Bing. Every single part of him was screaming his name.

“Why do you have to stay here for so long?” Bing says while looking directly at Chase. Desperately Chase tries his hardest to not look. There is no point whatsoever.

“The guy... h-he stabbed through my rib cage and it nicked my lung I guess...” He says while slowly lowering himself against the back of the bed. This was so stupid...

“Well, what did you tell them about all those scars that you had?” Chase’s eyes widen as he gets asked. Did he know that they asked him that? Or was he trying to get it off of him of what they actually are?

“T-the scars?” He says kind of high pitch trying his hardest on what he actually told them. They asked when they where wheeling him in out of surgery while he was on loopy gas so that he would tell the truth. However, he had a strong mental capacity and still managed to lie about it.

“I-I said that they where from b..Bro Average shoots.” Technically is wasn’t a lie, it is what he told them! Just... not what actually happened.

“Ah, Alright then. How about you tell the truth to me?” Chase Quickly swallows looking at the opposite side of the room as he fiddles with his necklace that his son made him while he’s been at the hospital. It had a shark tooth on it, and the line was covered in red and green. Somehow it was able to bring him peace as he did.

“I-I don’t understand w...what you mean...” He says very timidly, not wanting to talk anymore. However he’s met with pressure being added onto the bed right next to him. Now this really made Chase’s heart go a bajillion Miles a minute! Being questioned already being thrown, and then adding into the mix of Have Bing sit next to him. Instantly his body tenses up as he feels Bing place a hand on his back rubbing small circles.

“I’m not stupid Chase. I went through every single one of your ‘Bro Average’ videos trying to find which stunts could’ve given you that scar on your eye, or the scars that I saw on your chest not to long ago.” Chase instinctively pulls up the covers that he had up to his chest, almost as if trying to hide them out of embarrassment.

“Also I payed very close attention seeing scar after scar show up in different places as the series went on.” Bing slowly starts lifting up the Medical night gown as his fingers softly trail up Chase’s skin which makes Chase bite his hand to prevent from making any noise. He has never had a man, let alone his crush touch him... if you don’t count that kiss, BUT THAT’S ALL DIFFERENT SHIT! Chase can hear Bing sigh as he sees... even more scars. Chase can start to feel the guilt rushing inside of him as he screws his eyes shut trying to stop the images from passing by.

“...I don’t w-wanna talk about it...” He says while his hands dug into the medical pillow that his head was on. There was no point in any of this, telling... who’d believe him? He’s a fucking guy and no one thinks women can do such horrible things...

“Can you j...just turn the IV up... I don’t want to think about this a-anymore..” he can feel the movement in the end shift as Bing looks from the IV to him.

“Chase... the IV’s almost at 11... you could die...” Bing says with his voice full of concern. Chase soon lets tears fall, how can he act like this? He’s being so selfish, turning it up to 11 would kill you... tears start to escape his eyes as he thinks about that. Stacy’s words echo in the back of his mind, she’s right. Every single little word that she’s ever muttered to him. He’s an idiot... a bitch... a pussy... a cunt... stupid... horrible father... selfish... a faggot... scum of the earth... a failure... an abortion gone wrong... he should just do what she told him to do... just jump... just fucking jump... Randomly he feels Bing’s warm arms wrap around him, but doesn’t dare open his eyes. He wasn’t tense in the embrace, nor was his heart going a million miles. It was peaceful and calm as he cried out. If it was anything else, he would have rejected this. Chase slowly puts his hand on top of Bing’s of the one that was on top of him.

“I’m right here, Chase... you can tell me anything.” He says in a very light whisper trying to comfort him, but it doesn’t really help...

“W...why do y-you even c..care? D..damage h-has already been... d-done...” He says in the heat of the moment. Why should Bing care? It’s not like it’s going to change who he was. It’s not like Bing can help him in anyway, Stacy was already in jail for a DUI... there’s just no point anymore. In any of this. He just ruins everyone’s lives. First he came out bisexual which ruined his relationship with his parents... he married Stacy which ended his relationship with his best friend... he ruined his children’s lives by bringing them into a horrible family of yelling, screaming, swearing... then he ruined his life with being with Stacy... no matter where he went he was her’s... never able to escape the mental and physical scars that she left...

“I Care, because I’m your friend. Dude, I can tell when someone’s lying to me, please just tell me... you can’t keep something bottled up.” Bing says while slightly hugging Chase with the arm he had wrapped around him. It’s not unhealthy... it just didn’t matter... he’s one person in a place of billions... the only reason that he holds on is because of his kids. They are his only anchor in this world... if he wasn’t there they’d just be with Bing. They already love him so much...

“I-I don’t b..bottle it up... my thoughts r-replay it to me...” great fucking Excuse Chase. A- for effort... The weight on the bed shifts again as Chase feels Bing pull him closer to his chest. He can even hear his heart beat and heavy breathing. Alright NOW his heart can go ten million miles an hour and not get pulled over on the freeway. Hell heart, you just do you! Also, guess Bing’s lying down now next to him.

“Chase. Brody. You need to tell me, if you do I’ll tell you something about me. Would that be alright?” He asks with a commanding, but also comforting voice. How does that even work? He takes a deep breath, filtering through his words very carefully.

“M-my ex...” that was all he was able to manage to say before tears came pouring down. Please don’t make him say more! Please don’t make him say more! Just even saying that was to much for him to handle. Bing slowly turns Chase’s head to the side so that they where both looking at each other. Chase wanted to desperately look away, but Bing’s eyes where so beautiful...

“I would never treat you like that.” Chase lets out a long airy breath as they look at one another. The silence was peaceful, then having the last words be those... made Chase only fall even more into his love for Bing. What did he do that could have possibly been right that made Bing kiss him those three days ago? What was the one thing that he’s done right in his entire life to have Bing hold him like this? Was it because he was hurt? Did Bing feel like this was his fault?

“I promise.” Chase’s thoughts get cut short once again as Bing kisses him. Why was this happening to him? Don’t get him wrong, he loved it as he kissed him back, but what did he do to deserve this? His whole life has been a fuck up, but right now? Everything was perfect. No Stacy in his mind... no scars that stained to his body like an infection.

Slowly Bing’s hand moved to the side of Chase’s waist as Chase hesitantly moved his arms around Bing’s neck. Was this was he suppose to do? Or was he suppose to be doing something else!? He’s never been in this type of position before. His hands where shaking from the anxiety and ‘This was actually happening’ feelings. Bing must’ve felt it as he pulled back, and placed his forehead against Chase’s.

“Relax, Chase. I know what I’m doing.” With that he again pushes his lips against Chase’s.

All over again Chase melts into it, completely intoxicated by this. In the back of his mind, he can barely hear the anxiety of where did this leave them now? Once they where done with whatever this was... what where they going to be? Deep down Chase hoped this meant that they would go out and try to be a couple. However he didn’t know what Bing was feeling. Maybe the same? He has been the one to start all of this. However it doesn’t matter now. He’s in the moment right now, and everything was perfect.... right now.

(Sorry @alaughingfreak I couldn’t make it angsty! My brain wouldn’t let me)

[thelostandforgottenangel]

Okay there is something that’s been weighing on my heart for a while now

I come from a family who is against a lot – they don’t believe in marrying outside your own race, are against same sex relationships, some think bad of you if you’re depressed when you have absolutely no right to be, are very judgmental, the list goes on but that’s just a few… so I keep many secrets from them. I come from that yet I’m one of the black sheep’s and you don’t tell anyone anything unless you are full ready to be judged for the rest of your life by everyone.       I think you should marry anyone you wish whether it’s a person of a different race or sex if that person makes you happy that is all that matters because Love is uncontrollable, people who of different color are beautiful and were created special and so unique, I judge nobody unless I’m playing with them but never in a serious manner and I make sure I tell them that, If you are depressed I will sit up all night and talk to you until you either feel better or are so tired you pass out on me I’ll still be there when you come back the next day, every body type is beautiful - skinny, curvy, or fabulously plump it don’t matter to me you are fucking gorgeous to me just the way you are

That is just who I am by nature

 A while back; months ago, I bumped into an old acquaintance I used to work with at my first job haven’t seen her in years and we started talking, I proudly announced I had made my first best friend out of the many new friends I have made over the past couple months and I had to pull up a picture of her to show this woman just how beautiful she is

I said she was the most beautiful person I had ever met because in my eyes she is, inside and out she is perfect to me praising her for all the amazing qualities that make her who she is – I even made an unthought-of comment about this girl and in doing so this woman read between the lines (And probably could see it on my face) figuring out I am bi. I have always liked girls just as much as guys yet I have more male friends… but because of my family I have never revealed that I’m not straight

I’m in no way ashamed of it but there are something’s I would prefer nobody but people who I know won’t judge me to actually know

She looked at me in shock because she knows I’m married with 2 kids and knows my man well asking if I had feelings for my friend before placing her hand on my shoulder when I didn’t answer her, she told me she would be praying for my soul so maybe I wouldn’t burn in hell, that she know knew why I had cut my hair off and colored it in such flamboyant colors (It fell out I didn’t chose to look like a guy) before walking off looking disgusted

Since then I have seen her several times each time she asks if I have changed my heathen ways – then will tell me she’s just joking (You can tell she’s not because she will touch her cross necklace until she walks off) and me being me I just held my tongue because I’m a nice person and you are free to your own opinion but the last time she saw me she asked if my husband knew about my sins and that I was lusting over a woman, how would he react if he were to find out that I was sexually attracted to somebody but him, what would my poor parents say… and after so long (20 agonizingly long minutes of not punching her in the mouth) I was sick of it

I stood up for myself. I told her I was proud of whom I was, I can’t help who I see as attractive and that as a woman of understanding god she shouldn’t be so judgmental of a lifestyle that is different than her own. I married a man because I loved him and thought it was the right thing to do

I’m a Christian yet I don’t go to church or pray every day, that just means when I do he will listen because I’m a rare visitor and he might just answer if I call. I cuss and have no filter whatsoever. I HAVE NO SHAME! I don’t see the world as black and white, I come from judgment that don’t give me the right to tell anyone they are right or wrong for what they do or say

That’s when I let her have it and told her I didn’t need her approval for anything and that if she ever knew the real me her eyes would probably burn out of her skull and today I got curious

She unfriended then blocked me on social media along with everyone who she knows who was on my page including her daughter and three other women I used to work with. Blocked my number. If she sees me in public she avoids me

And I don’t give two shits because I am who I am I will never apologize for being me

That being said if you’re a girl and you love a man - high five baby girl!  You’re a man who loves another wonderful man who makes your world turn - you go get it dude! You’re a girl who loves a beautiful woman who makes you feel like you are their universe – whoo work it sista! You’re a man or woman who loves more than one person you are balling and just that amazing more than one person can love you.  

And if you are one of my wonderful followers who’s heart and body belongs to one or all of those tall dark muscled up sexy Ninja Turtle’s – shit enough said

 Sorry for the rant guys

[ellebeebee]

Seachange

Part Six/Nine

Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Part Five

Before the Archon flagship mission, Liam gives Mira a gift.

3658 words, Liam x f!Ryder, teen rating

AO3

“I need to go for my run.”

“Nooo.”

“I’m being, like, serious, Liam-- I gotta go.”

“Nooo you don’t.”

And despite her protests, Mira sputtered with laughter when his arms just tightened around her and he nuzzled into her neck, his coarse black curls tickling her nose.

“What’s the obsession with running, anyway?” he murmured.  She could feel the curve of his smiling teeth against her throat. “Who’s chasing you, Mira?  Whooooo?”

The vibration of his question really tickled against the tender spot at the base of her neck, in that little hollow-- the, and oh god, it was almost too embarrassing to even think it-- the little hollow meant for catching kisses.  As he liked to say, anyway.  Idiot.

Wonderful, ridiculous, marvelous idiot that was hers.

They were entangled in the remains of her just-the-size-for-two bed, and he had her pinned with his delicious dark brown skin and his smile and his warmth and his smell and-- and, this was the kicker, this was the thing that would surely be the death of her, the thing that was the most difficult of all to resist: her own resistance to that cold, filtered air outside their little bubble here in these sheets.  That other world that wasn’t just idiot A and B, that wasn’t black coarse curls tickling her nose, the scent of him (always full and real, never artificial), and tender hands running down her side.

And the way her skin responded, in a tidal wave of goose-bumps and raised hairs, was so awful and amazing and terribly, terribly addictive.

Liam pushed up, and he nuzzled along her throat, under her chin.  The feeling was good, yes, it was good and please let this moment go on forever.

His lips whispered across her chin, and then he paused to look down at her.  His hand came up to gently brush at the hair at her temples.  Brown eyes gazed down at her, and she really, really liked the version of herself reflected there.  She liked the way she was when she was with him.  She liked being the person that was so loved, and so ready and willing to love him back.

He shifted, and bent down to kiss her,  He stole her breath and the warmth of her lips, and she’d give it again a million times over.  Shit, she loved the way he was solid and heavy on her, yet his lips were chapped and soft.  Caressing in that way that was perfect.

She was silly-grinning when he pulled up, and he was too.

“C’mon,” he murmured. “Stay.  No work today, just this.”

Mira chuckled a little and reached up to run her fingers along the side of his face. “That’s cute, but no.”

And she hated herself for it, but she wiggled down and rolled over to the side of the bed.  Liam flopped in the warm spot she’d vacated and groaned.  She slid over the edge of the bed and stood, hiding the small smile she wore.  And it burned her face up, but she made a conscious effort to ignore the way his eyes no doubt followed her naked body around the room.  Serves him right, payback is a five letter word, etcetera, etcetera.

“C’mooooon,” he whined.

“No,” she stated flatly, only the barest curl of a smile in the her voice. “But I like that you’re asking.  It’s flattering.”

She got dressed, pulling on leggings and a sports bra.  He kept quiet, maybe watching, maybe half-drowsing and tempted to fall back asleep.  Plucking up her running shoes, she sat on the edge of the bed.  Within his reach.  Fingers brushed her spine as she laced up.

She smiled over her shoulder at him.

Real time talk: she had never been anywhere near as gung-ho about Andromeda as Dad or Forta.  She’d been reluctant, even.  But right now she’d travel another million billion trillion light years across the blackest, loneliest dark space if it meant she’d keep ending up with Liam Kosta in her bed.  Smiling up at her like that.

“How can you even be up for a jog?” he asked, with his eyes, like, twinkling. “Didn’t you get enough exercise last night?”

“Hmmm,” Mira pretended to think. “Well, yesterday I did kick a lot of ass at footy.”

“Ooooh, ouch,” he laughed.  The burn seemed assuaged, though, as she swooped in to peck him on the forehead.

“Go back to sleep,” she told him.

“Not happening; I just watched you get dressed.”

“Then get out and get to work, crisis specialist.”

“Bossy, I like it.”

Sputtering, she laughed.  Her face was heated in a kinda pleasant way, and everything felt light and good and positive.  

“See you later?” he asked.  His thumb ran over her hand, across the thin skin over her knuckles.

“Yeah,” she said.  But she didn’t move.  Because of course she didn’t.

He tugged at her arm, and she fell into another kiss that threatened to erase any sense of time.  And his fingers kept pressing into her spine.

She made herself break apart, made herself ignore his puppy eyes, made herself leave the room at a trot.  But making herself wipe the dumb look off her face?  Nope, nosiree.  Not happening.  She was lucky she didn’t meet anyone on her way to the cargo bay.  They’d shove her into Lexi’s for a psych check.

She was just putting her earbuds in, thinking about which playlist to use, when she got called at from the walkway above the cargo bay.

“Mira-- just the pathfinder I was looking for!”

She looked up. “Hey, Gil.”

Gil waved, totally at ease and definitely not on a hunt for her or anything.

“Is it urgent?” she asked.  She was mentally prepped to run, and hated interrupting that.

“Kind of,” he said.  He still leaned against the gallery railing, the total picture of laxness.

She resisted the impulse to swear, and trotted to the ladder, taking the rungs at pace.  She wasn’t really irritated, truthfully.  So it shouldn’t have surprised her that when she gave Gil her good morning, he raised his arms defensively and stooped.

He made a hissing noise and mock claw motions. “Eek!  It burns!  Her got-laid-face!  It burns!”

“Oh, shut up,” she said, smiling broadly and lacking any venom whatsoever. “And you don’t know anything.”

“I know I wasn’t terrified about Kosta thrashing his own ass out of bed and, like, out of an airlock or something last night,” Gil shot back.

She shook her head.  Still smiling.

“And,” he added. “I know that he hasn’t been whimpering as much lately.”

“Ooh,” she said, hands flying up to cup her cheeks.

“Oh, for-- She’s ooh’ing,” Gil cringed. “Please don’t.  I can’t even hardly stand the amount of sugar in just your face right now.”

“Then maybe don’t tell me sweet things?” she said and poked him in the arm. “Or be a sweet person?”

“Lies!  Blasphemy!  Slander!”

“Fine, Brodie.  Resist the compliment.  But I’m gonna keep trying.”

Shaking his head, he laughed. “Okay, okay.  Serious talk time now.”

She’d been holding her earbuds, but tucked them behind her into her waistband.  She raised a brow at him. “I’m listening.”

“So that kett transponder?  I finally tinkered it into submission,” he said, turning to one of the side stations he had set up outside of engineering.  

She tensed, but followed.  Even with the switch in the conversation, she’d still had the traces of her smile in her face, yet she felt even that melt away.  Right.  This was a thing she’d had Gil doing.  Tampering with kett technology to reverse engineer the location of the Archon’s flagship.  So they could infiltrate it-- her and her squad, alone on a purportedly Everest-class ship full of hostile aliens.

She remembered herself, though, and put on her professional face while Gil explained the transponder, and SAM interjected about the reverse tracking.  And she did her best to ease Gil’s anxiety about, you know, boarding a freaking kett ship.

“You don’t look very sure,” Gil told her, eyes widening.

“What!” she exclaimed, trying for casual humor but hitting closer to nervy loss of pitch control. “Gil, I’m very sure.”

“Okay, maybe I’m not that experienced with, like, military-- um, ops?  Is that-- is that what they call it?  But isn’t the leader or, or CO panicking a bad sign?”

“I’m not panicking,” Mira told him, internally panicking. “You’re panicking.”

Gil blinked at her, his face frozen.  The pair of them had gotten so high-pitched that they sounded like they’d been inhaling straight helium.  Mira’s gut roiled, and her palms got damp.  Guilt caught in her throat.

“Look,” she said, forcing her voice steady. “We’re fine, Gil.  We’ve all trained for this, and we’re all ready.”

“Okaaay,” he said slowly. “If you say so.  Pathfinder.”

She nearly deflated at that word.  It drove her nuts sometimes, because for nearly two years it had meant ‘Dad.’  Experience.  Control.  Not, a part of her own identity.  If it was that.  It was almost like she was the wolf in the story, running around in Grandma’s clothes, risking the lives of everyone.  Not just her crew, either (which was bad enough), but the colonists, too.

But she put on her professional face, smiled at Gil, and told Kallo over the comm to set a change in course.

-

As she hit 8 kph, the black band of the treadmill flying beneath her, she thought about Shanxi and her father.

He liked to tell this one story, and she thought now it was because it was meant to mean something for them.  Her and Forta.  Samurai bestowed the clan’s suit of armor to their heirs, a reminder and a means of protection.

Alec Ryder had been a hotshot, one of the first through Relay 314.  Though it wasn’t called that at the time.  Not on their side.  When the turian patrol fleet burst through the relay, raining down weaponized orbital debris on the Shanxi colony, Alec Ryder had been in the thick of it.  At one point, some important brass got pinned in a remote location, and Dad was sent to unpin this guy.  Extract him.

Well, the turians caught on and blew the remote location to smithereens right as they stepped out the door.  But the enemy only had tacticals, or they would’ve all already been nuked to grease stains.  And the abandoned outpost in front of them had options in cover.  Big brass is hurt, passed out, so Dad had command.  He looked out at his options, flak and dust buzzing around him and his squad silently shitting themselves-- and he made a decision.

He chose a point of cover, and ran.

And he did this not once, but countless times.  They didn’t have artillery, no heavy weaponry, no nothing; just their personal arms and a prayer.  Had no damn idea whether his choices were right, or if he was running straight into death.  Over and over, Alec Ryder chose a point of cover and ran for it.  He lost a good fraction of his squad.  But big brass got extracted, and eventually air relief did come in.

Point was-- even if the chances are terrible, even if it seems impossible, even if you are afraid-- the decision must be made and the action taken.

Mira’s chest heaved and her lungs worked furiously as she ran, suspended on her treadmill.  And she thought about Shanxi and her father.

-

As she toweled off from her post-workout shower, her omni-tool pinged.  She reached for her clothes and said, “SAM?”

“Message from Liam.”

“Just a sec.”

Dressed and clean and her hair blow-dried, she pulled up the message while stepping back out into lower deck’s hall.

Got a surprise for you.  But you need to work for it.  I’ve left some notes for you around the ship.  Hint: use your scanner.

“Oh no,” she whispered.

She glanced up and down the hall.  Nope, just her and SAM.

“SAM?” she asked.

A pause. “Liam has asked me to ‘keep it a secret’.”

“And you’re going to listen to him?”

“I would like to,” SAM stated.

She closed her eyes.  SAM so rarely expressed personal preferences, and she generally considered each a victory for his… finding himself, or whatever.  She sighed.

“Okay,” she resigned herself.

Business first, though.  Or.  Kind of first.  Consecutive?

Whatever-- she went up the ladder to the top deck, and beelined for the tech lab.  Jaal stood at a work table, tinkering with a project, but looked up as she came in.  She asked if he’d received any new data on kett ships or kett blueprints from the Resistance.  No, nothing new about the ships; what they already had was already rare and hard come by, so to find anything new… But there were some new analyses on kett architecture, what with the recent pushes against them, so maybe SAM could do something with that?

“I will run some conjectures,” SAM stated.

“Right, thanks, SAM,” Mira answered, looking vaguely up like they were all somehow conditioned to instinctively do.  She glanced around the lab.

Jaal tilted his head. “Would you like to stay and chat?”

“Oh, no.  Thank you, but I’ve got other work to do,” she said.  Not the work station, surely?  Please, not the work station.  The cabinets?  Maybe the cabinets.

Jaal was still looking at her, his, like, brow area drawing in in a knit.

She waved vaguely. “I just, umm.  I need to do some scans on the ship.  We’ll be getting some close proximity to the Scourge, and-- uh.  Don’t let me bother you.”

“Alright,” he said slowly, turning back to his project with a little glance over his shoulder at her.

She kept a lid on the exhale she wanted to release, and looked around.  Turning her scanner on, she did a sweep over the general area, roving the fan of orange light over the floor and cabinets and walls-- and she nearly had a heart attack when the scanner found on the wall directly behind Jaal, in big bolded writing: ur booty is AMAZING.

Choking, her throat strangled a laugh that want to burst out of her.  Jaal turned around, and her hand flew to turn the scanner off.

“Okay, great talking to you Jaal, see you, bye!” she said too loudly, too fast.  She sprinted out the door.

Holy shit, she was going to kill him.  Or, no, Kallo was going to kill him.  Vandalizing the Tempest.  Except.  Maybe not.  Because it was kinda… funny.  And cute.

Across the operations table, through the hologram floating there, Cora gave her a look.  Mira tried to temper the silly look on her face.  Success: minimal.  Giving up, she cleared her throat and walked purposefully to the bio lab.  It was blessedly empty.  She scanned down the narrow room with its ferns and-- um, non-fern plants.  Then, underneath the desk, against the wall, she found a second note in the same large writing: u r sooooooooo hott.

With two t’s!  Two of them!  Count ‘em!

Crouched to where she could peek under the desk, Mira clutched her mouth to stifle the sputtering giggles.  Oh, god, she had to get her shit together.  Important things were happening.  Damn him and his-- his dumb notes being all… whatever and stuff.

She managed to collect herself enough to go to the bridge and discuss the new course with Kallo.  Of course, what her face looked like was probably not ideal, but Kallo was too polite to say anything.  But then she got to talking with him, about the Scourge, and she remembered the Nexus.  The deaths on entry to Andromeda.  Jien Garson.  

She kept talking with Kallo, knowing she kept making replies, but her thoughts drifted.  Her mind see-sawed between moods.  She felt vaguely sea-sick.  Not in her stomach, though.

Eventually, she went to her e-mail terminal, feeling blank.  Still, she remembered and got a feeling.  Suvi and Kallo were talking, something something dark matter.  She flipped on her scanner.  And he was so predictable, or maybe it was her?  The easy to read one?  Anyway, there it was, written on the metal panel next to the terminal keyboard: i like ur face.

She wanted to laugh.  It made her feel good.  It did.  But maybe it shouldn’t?  Things were… Well, things were always something.  So, would it be okay?  Just this once?  Just this?

She glanced at Suvi and Kallo; still not paying attention to her.  So she slipped into the airlock, looking.  The loadout wall had been organized recently.  The guns gleamed.  She scanned.  And she snorted; he thought he was sooo clever, putting it there underneath her favorite rifle in a space nearly too small for his overlarge handwriting: for real. you are gorgeous.

And she couldn’t help it.  It made her smile.

She went to second deck and got spotted by Lexi in the hall.  She had to submit to a pre-mission check-up.  While poking and prodding and measuring her, Lexi asked her searching questions.  Mira knew what it meant; she was taking a psych temp.  And honestly, she didn’t mind it too much.  She liked talking with Lexi, but right now she still had that non-physical sea-sick feeling.  She was still thinking.

Escaping the doctor’s clutches, Mira returned to her sweep over the ship.  In engineering, she found it, blazoned across the back of one of the very important-looking terminal stations with all the very-important looking data feeds and knobs and whatnot.  u smell good.  Gil would love that if he ever spotted it.  She hoped he didn’t spot it.

In the cargo bay, she got waylaid by Drack and his gleeful expounding on getting to take the ass-kicking to those ugly kett bastards right on their turf.  Which turned into several of his long war stories, and his detailed descriptions of just how to rip off a kett plate.

In the armory, after a conversation with Vetra about a ship that may or may not be waiting for a signal for any salvage that may or may not fall off this whole Archon flagship deal, Mira discreetly scanned around.  Jeez, he was way braver than her, putting it on one of Vetra’s crates.  Or just brazen.  Or trying to needle her.  Honestly, those two.  Worse than Kallo and Gil sometimes.

But there it was, in his invisible ink or-- what the heck did he use to write these, anyway?

i’m better because of you

“Something up?” Vetra asked, behind her.

Mira whirled. “Nope!  Just.  There’s gonna be, um.  Scourge.  You know.”

“Uh-huuuh,” Vetra said slowly.

“Okay, so see you later!”

And she wasn’t sure what she should worry about more; that she was apparently apart of some contraband ring, or that her face might freeze in one of these stupid looks.  Maybe the biggest issue was that she wouldn’t mind it-- her face freezing that way, that is.

In storage, on the shipping container turned coffee table, he’d scrawled: i want u all the time.

She raised a hand to hide her smile from no one.  Nobody was in there with her, to see her looking at the dumb, old, gross couch.  It was so dumb.  So… frat-y, and such a hormone-crazed, teenage thing.  Even so.  It warmed her, made her knees weak. ��i want u all the time.

On a hunch, she left storage, waved at Drack and Gil at the railing above the cargo bay, and made down the hall.  Her scanner quietly ting-ed as it turned on, the fan of orange light humming quietly.  Underneath the ‘Pathfinder’s Quarters’ painted across her room’s door, in that glowing handwriting, he’d written: i need u.

She turned off her scanner.  Her throat got a lump from somewhere.  Looking down, she toed at the textured metal deckfloor, her sneaker swiveling.

“SAM?” she asked quietly.

“Yes, Mira?”

“He did all this while I was running?”

“Yes,” SAM stated. “I would check your quarters.  There is one more message left.”

Blinking away the heat rising in her face, she tapped at the door panel.  It slid open silently.  Everything was pretty much as she left it this morning.  Except his clothes weren’t on the floor, and he wasn’t in the bed.  In fact, the bed had been made up.  Which was nice.  She never made the bed.  She didn’t think he did either.  So it was nice.

On the bed, very obviously laid out, was a datapad.  She sat down, sinking into the mattress, and picked it up.

Mira-- I don’t know how to show you a fraction of what you make me feel.  I’ve been thinking, and I don’t think familiar is just ‘familiar.’  It’s home.  It’s safety and warm and it’s what I get with you.  Just please remember I’m always behind you, and not just because I’m always looking at your ass.  Heart emoji, heart emoji.

Mira laughed abruptly.  And wetly.  She reached up to wipe at the wetness on her burning cheeks.  Looking down at the datapad resting on her lap, she thought about Dad and Shanxi.  She thought about her crew.

She was scared shitless.  This wasn’t defending against raids, or even just routing an enemy presence in a lab facility.  This was boarding the leader’s home.  The flagship.  And she couldn’t say for certain if it was worth it, if it would pay off.

But that didn’t matter.  Her feelings about it didn’t matter.  She had to look ahead, because the way behind was blown to smithereens, and she had to choose a point of cover and run.

And when she got all sea-sick and paralyzed because she was afraid?

Well.  Liam Kosta thought she had an awesome booty.  When she was in the open, with no artillery, no nothing-- she could always find cover with him.

Sniffing around her smile, Mira furiously rubbed at her cheeks and eyes.  She got up to go look for him.

[musicious]

Count It

“Count it, again.”

“I did that ten times.”

It was rather a good day in California. The weather was just nice and warm, there was no traffic sound whatsoever and a bunch of people just got the money they needed for travelling after a year of working.

“Are you fucking sure?”

“We finally made it.”

“Guys,” Jean Fisher smiled as she took a seat around the round wooden table. “Let’s not panic, okay? We did make it, but we have to think thoroughly. What are we going to do with our jobs? I mean, come on, there is still life after this, you know.”

“Jean,” said the blonde haired girl, sitting across the brunette. “You are right, but stop.”

“But, Kimberly-“

“No buts, this is just for summer, anyway,” Kimberly Watson added. “We have a whole life ahead of us and the jobs were temporary, you know that.”

“I know,” the brunette protested. “I just… It doesn’t make sense to spend it all on vacation all of a sudden, that’s all.”

“Fuck, I knew one of you would bring this up,” Brandon Williams groaned, shaking his head disapprovingly. “We made a fucking deal and we made it clear that the money is going to be spent on travelling, Jean, don’t be a party pooper.”

“Okay, okay,” a black haired girl cut in, her hand resting on Jean’s shoulder for support. “It is normal for her to have second thoughts, this is a great amount of money, you guys. But we can’t back off now, this is a great opportunity.”

“Ava is right,” a tall, blonde guy added as he ripped off the name tag that said ‘Rick’, which he was wearing for his job. “We are going, end of the discussion.”

Ava Parker smiled and opened the cover of the small, blue notebook next to the money. It looked like a basic notebook, with ‘Places’ written on it and a small, simple heart drawing. She looked at the first page and read it out loud for her friends. “Travel, not for the eye, but for the soul.”

“And for the girls,” Brandon muttered with a smirk.

“And to see La Liga for real,” added Rick Barton and gave his friend a high five.

“And to find myself a handsome Eduardo.”

“Amen, Kimberly, amen,” Jean laughed out loud. “I can use a Felipé, too.”

“Or a Chavez.”

“And a Diego.”

Ava rolled her eyes, though a small smirk was playing on her lips. “Okay, can I have a Léon? Or a Javier?”

“Oh, anything you want.”

“And they say men are perverts,” Rick narrowed his blue eyes. “All we can think about is whether we can get a fucking photograph with Lionel Messi and they are thinking of banging a Hispanic dude.”

“Okay,” the black haired woman held the notebook in the air. “Who wants to know our first destination?”

“God, please let it be Ukraine.”

“Damn it, Brandon, let it be fucking Spain,” Rick cut off. “I want to see some Eva Mendez.”

“Who’s talking now?” Kimberly shook her head, fingers crossed behind her back.

“It will be Arabia and all you’ll be seeing will be Fatima’s,” Jean stuck out her tongue at her friend.

“God, please don’t let it be Arabia, yet.”

Ava read the second page of the blue notebook, where they had written down their destinations one by one when they first thought of the idea. Decorated with images found on Google and some cheap glitters, she read it out loud with excitement. “Guys, we are going to France.”

They all exclaimed happily and felt the sudden feeling of relief rushing down their bodies. It wasn’t Arabia now, but it was Arabia someday. They wondered why they even put that in the notebook in the first place, but it could be arranged anyway. They could always go to Egypt, instead.

They spent the next hour calling their friend, Stacey, from the travel agency to get them the most affordable plane tickets and hotel bookings. They had the money, but that didn’t necessarily mean they could spend it for anything they wanted. They had a whole summer in front of them and they had to make a plan to use it in the most useful way.

That very night, they called their bosses from the temporary jobs to quit. It didn’t go smoothly, but they did not expect anything different, anyway. They signed up knowing what would happen in the end and they signed up exactly for it.

Ava zipped up her luggage and stared at it dreamily, it was a big, red one with her name tag placed on it. She knew it was all she had dreamed since she was a little child and finally witnessing that she was achieving it on her early 20’s made her a winner.

She fixed her black leggings and stretched her legs as she stared in the mirror. She wasn’t exactly tall, she could even be called petite with her nearly average height. Her black, wavy hair was reaching down to her back and matching her dark brown eyes.

Another feminine figure caught her attention in the mirror and she smiled at her friend’s reflection. Jean was sleeping in the bed next to hers, curling her knees up to her chest and a happy smile on her lips. Her straight brown hair was pulled into a ponytail tightly as she made a stirring sound.

With one final glance at the mirror, she left her bedroom that she was sharing with Jean and went downstairs –only to find no one in the first floor. It was two in the morning and she didn’t feel tired at all from all the excitement.

She took a seat in the kitchen counter and made herself a filter coffee with milk. It was a great chance that they found plane tickets the very next morning. For the first time in their lives, the chance was on their side.

“Thought you were sleeping.”

She shrieked lightly, her frown was replaced with a genuine smile afterwards. Brandon was always a late sleeper, she was even curious at times that he didn’t sleep at all. She, on the other hand, loved sleeping. “I don’t sleep early, thought you knew that.”

“Yeah, I know,” he began, attempting to make himself a coffee. “But with all the travel plans and shit, I thought you would be the first one sleeping with a smile on her face.”

She chuckled and took a sip from her coffee. “I had been dreaming of this for so long, it doesn’t seem real to me now.”

Brandon opened the drawer and grabbed some M&M’s, offering her some as he spoke. “As if it’s not going to happen? Been there, but we actually have tickets, so have some rest,” he added as his phone rang a couple of times and he silenced it in the exact moment he saw the caller ID. Letting out a loud sigh, he shrugged his shoulders at Ava, who had been giving him a suspicious eye.

She furrowed her eyebrows at him, pulling her black hair into a ponytail. “Oh, you are such a mess, you know that? She is sad, you two broke up last week. What do you expect her to do, anyway?”

He shifted uncomfortably. “Well, we might have been broken up a few hours ago.”

“Are you kidding me?” She shook her head, her jaw dropping. “You, asshole.”

“What? She showed up at my workplace a few days ago,” he said, hands in the air in defense. “Also, do you have any idea how good she is in bed? And I didn’t even mention that she gives great head.”

“Oh, my god,” she exclaimed. “I don’t wanna hear it, pervert.”

“Ava, don’t act like you never tell me these stories.”

“Yeah, but I don’t talk about giving heads.”

“You should.”

“Fuck you.”

He chuckled and brushed off his black hair back with his fingers, it was shoulder length. The dark shade of his hair exposed his green eyes, which she thought it was the only feature in his face that actually repressed his personality. Besides that, he looked like a regular type of criminal.

He was very much like her other friends; young, energetic and dying to learn new things. However, despite his cold and distant look, thanks to his lean body shape and blank stare, he was secretly a caring person.

She watched as he lifted a cigarette and let it rest on his bottom lip while he searched for a lighter in his pocket. She knew that he was a smoker, they had been very close friends for a few years, but he was a serious smoker now and she was tired to tell him to quit whenever he lit a cigarette.

“You’re staring.”

“Because you are getting deeper into that shit, everyday.”

“I know.”

He exhaled slowly and closed his eyes. It was the burning feeling in his throat that made it harder for him to quit smoking, he liked that feeling. It was just that burn at the moment and he liked not thinking about anything else.

Brandon pulled up the zip on his black hoodie and tilted his head towards the garden, offering to go outside since it was house rules not to smoke indoors. “Take your coffee, let’s sit outside.”

“Sure, I want to hear about all the useless stuff you packet in your suitcase.”

As both headed to the garden, Jean woke up upstairs with a mumbling by her side. She squeezed her eyes shut and groaned.  Come on, everyone knew she loved a good sleep, which involved minimum eight hours of sleeping.

“Jeanie, wake up.”

It took a moment for her to clear her vision before sitting up slowly. “Kim?”

Kimberly muttered positively and sat back in her friend’s back, nudging Jean by the leg. “Wake up”

“What’s up? Did something happen?”

“Yeah, I can’t sleep.”

Jean groaned and let her body fell back to the pillow, but woke up again by Kimberly’s instant nudging. She pulled her legs up to her belly and tried to ignore her until it became impossible for her to do so. “Well, what can I do to help, Kim?” she asked eventually, sounding helpful, yet, irritated.

“You can tell me that it will be the best decision of our lives,” the blonde muttered, playing with her long nails. “You can tell me that… we all will find ourselves in this trip, literally, of course.”

Jean sighed softly and sat up, resting her back on the wall. “It will be, Kim, you already know that.”

“But what if it’s a waste of time?” she blinked blankly. “I mean, I know that I spoke very sure of myself today, but I’ve been thinking since we bought the tickets… It’s just, what if everything goes bad? What if we run out of money or something? All of our families are here and-“

“Dear, god, Kimberly,” the brunette laughed lightly. “It will be fine and we will have so much fun. You helped me to think positively, come on. If anything goes bad, we turn back. If we run out of money, we just… work or find a plan there. Don’t be anxious, it’s very unlike you.”

“I know,” she smiled. “It will be my first time, did you know that?”

“What, first time going abroad?”

“Yeah, besides all the worry and everything, I’m literally dying to see Paris.”

Jean fixed the sleep band on her forehead and returned her smile with a giggle. “Don’t worry, you’ll find a hot Spanish guy and have him attend this trip with us for the rest of the travel, we will take great pictures and you will post them on Instagram.”

Kimberly exclaimed happily and lay on the bed, her medium length blonde hair resting messily around her. “Will you find a guy, yourself, too?”

“Yeah, why not? I will find a Pierré.”

“A French, huh?”

“Yes, with a mustache.”

“Nice,” the blonde smiled and sat up. “Where is Ava?”

“Probably drinking some tea,” Jean stretched her arms above her head and placed herself into the sheets again, poking her friend with her leg. “We’re all excited, but I need sleep, girl.”

“Okay, okay, I’m going to sleep, too,” Kimberly nodded, also stretching her body when she got on her feet. “Thanks for the talk, Jeanie.”

“Anytime, love.”

The brunette pulled down her sleep band as she heard her bedroom door closing. She wasn’t sure if everything she had said to Kimberly was right, but it was a vacation after all. A vacation that all of them had been working their butts off for. They could always work something out if something went bad or something.

An hour later, the house went silent as everyone was asleep peacefully. All of them dreamed of places that they have never been and people they have never seen, but it felt familiar whatsoever. And eventually, their alarms went off and they opened their eyes with excitement.

It was beginning.

        ���-~

[mon-amour-eternel]

The Wolf, The Witch, and The Wardrobe Part Two

WARNING: Mikael is an abusive dick.

Also, I added Aaron for reasons that will be revealed. Freya is still the oldest. Rated T/SFW. Tagging @blackefaeriequeene since I know you wanted this update :)

Read part one here or read both and review here.

When Caroline stepped onto the grass, she actually had an idea about what she was doing. Instead of stumbling around drunkenly, she was going to...not do that. She would say ‘she was going to find Niklaus’ but the memories of how to get to his house were gone.

So instead, she moved to the waterfall and plopped down, taking her shoes off and sitting halfway in the water. It was day time, and the sun was beating down. In retrospect, she shouldn’t have worn a hoodie, but Mystic Falls in the morning was cold! And how was she supposed to know that this...world or whatever was going to be hot!

She was still ranting to herself (though the topic had moved from the heat to berating herself for coming again) when Niklaus showed up.

She stood hastily, not bothering to put her shoes back on.

His eyes -- one of which was black, what the hell -- perused her from head to toe. They lingered on her legs, where her jeans were rolled up to the knees. When he met her gaze, there was interest darkening his eyes. She studiously ignored it (though the image went straight to the spank bank).

But all she said was, “what the hell happened to you?” As one, they both winced. God, why did she just say things? Was there no filter? Did she have any tact whatsoever or did exposure to Damon suck it from her like some kind of dementor?

He stepped closer, forcing her thoughts from her shortcomings to him. He had a noticeable limp that he tried and failed to hide; his lip was split and a bruise marred his cheek. “It is nothing to fret about, Care-oline. Don’t worry about me.” He quirked the eyebrow above his not-black eye. “You came back.”

She only looked at the stupidly cute smile on his lips for a second, but it was burned in her mind. “Yeah. I was too curious not too.” Truth is she wanted to hide from Damon and Bonnie, who were both convinced she was going insane. Well, Bonnie thought that; Damon was more concerned about how she found a fresh carrot in a mansion no one had been in in forever. (Even more so that she’d just taken a bite out of it.) Still, the curiosity isn’t completely untrue. She did want to meet the other siblings Niklaus talked about. (And okay, maybe she wanted to see him again. Shut up.)

“Well then, please accompany me back to the village and I will do my best to satiate your curiosity. I’ll tell nothing but the truth,” he vowed. Though she expected one, no bow happened. Bummer.

They linked arms, and he led them back to his home, with her practically holding him up. Well, not holding him up, but more making sure he didn’t fall or sway too much and then fall. She side-eyed him, concerned.

Her first few questions were simple -- “why do your houses look like that” (he wasn’t sure but everyone’s houses were like that so of course theirs was as well), “what year is it” (apparently it was the year 1000, to which she said “holy shit”, to which he gave her a look like she was the crazy one), “who are you other brothers” (Aaron, Finn, and Henrik), etc.

When they were almost to the village, she asked, “so you swear to tell the truth?”

He was instantly tense, but nodded anyway. What a champ.

She pulled away and put her hands on her hips, ready to slay him alive if he gave some bullshit excuse. “Good. Who did this to you?”

He scrubbed a hand through his hair, that had dirt in it, now that she looked. When he spoke, it was an embarrassed undertone, “my father.”

If she’d had a drink, she would’ve spit it everywhere. “Your dad?” She’d expected one of his brothers, or some guy from the village, or like, a tree or something. But not his own father; the thought was horrifying. He seemed too used to having injuries for her to think it was just a one time thing. He was talking around the split lip, walking mostly fine around the sight issues and the limp. It seemed like he was an old hat at this.

He flushed, cheeks brightening under her gaze. On one hand, it was cute and she wanted to see if he blushed anywhere else. On the other hand, he was basically admitting his father was abusive. Nothing about that was cute.

“Yes. But as I told you before, it is not something you need to worry over. I am perfectly fine.” He didn’t let her respond before he was saying, “now, let’s continue. We mustn’t be late for supper.”

His home loomed high above her head once again. The roof was curved in a way that made her think of a boat; it made her itch to flatten it out. Inside, all the pillars were still there, just cutting into the space of the home. Worst of all was that there was no door, and she could see inside from several yards away.

Though really, she had no time to focus on the building itself.

As soon as Niklaus steered her to the logs where they ate, Kol and Rebekah had boxed her in. Kol seemed to be the same age, or maybe a little younger, but Rebekah was quite a bit younger. If she had to guess, she would say eighteen and sixteen to her own nineteen.

That, plus the fact that she was new, made them both over eager to speak to her. Elijah, who was definitely older than her, sat on Rebekah’s other side. Like last time, he was nice to her but not particularly interested.

Though she was instantly bombarded with questions, she noticed that they all watched Niklaus as he went inside, then came back and sat next to Kol.

She talked for a little while, laughing at Kol and complimenting Rebekah. She was great at the whole socializing thing, and it showed.

Up until the rest of the family joined them.

First was the youngest brother, Henrik. He looked nothing like any of them, except his skin being as flawless and pale as Rebekah’s. And his hair kind of resembled Elijah and Kol’s. But that was it.

He walked with a weird gait, but it didn’t slow him down at all, nor did anyone else seem to notice it. Caroline stood, thinking about her etiquette classes, and let him introduce himself (“I am Henrik, son of Mikael, and I am the most precious of the Mikaelson siblings,” to which Kol snorted and all three of the others hit him over the head).

“I am Caroline,” she said back. He waited, as did the rest, so she added, “Forbes…?”

A booming voice said, “no, your title, not your last name.” She swung around and came face to face with a guy so mean looking, Skeletor would look like a nice guy in comparison. She could feel his unspoken ‘duh’ (or maybe he was calling her a snivelling fool, but how was she to know).

So, she thought, this dickhead is Mikael. Unless they have some kind of uncle she didn’t know about, this was Niklaus’ father. She noticed that he wasn’t the only one who stiffened when Mikael spoke -- the four she knew, as well as Henrik, all tensed and looked to the ground.

Shit. How do you call the cops on a guy who lived a thousand years ago?

“Well?” He demanded.

“Caroline Forbes, resident person from the future.”

Her sass was unappreciated. He came closer, three more people trailing behind him. While they sat, he sized her up, leading her to stand as tall as she could and puff up. “What happened to Nicholas and Eli?” He finally asked.

“Who?” Was she supposed to know?

Elijah helpfully answered, “Hope’s sons.”

“Hope had children?” Caroline honestly knew nothing of the old lady, especially that she had children. Talk about a plot twist.

They all gave her looks like ‘duh’. Well okay then, Hope had children.

“Yes, and they had much more impressive titles than ‘resident person from the future’,” Mikael sneered.

She had nothing to say to that. He wouldn’t care if she was Miss Mystic Falls for three years in a row, a high school graduate, majoring in event planning and minoring in business, and one of few people who could say they’ve kicked Damon Salvatore in the dick. He wouldn't give a shit about anything she said, so she was forced to hold her tongue.

A hand pulled at her elbow, and then Rebekah was introducing the other three people. “This is my mother, Esther, and my brothers, Aaron and Finn. Mother, brothers, this is Caroline.”

If Elijah was politely uninterested, then Finn was in full IDGAF mode. Aaron was somewhere between Elijah and Henrik, who sat close, and Esther was erring on the side of Rebekah and Kol.

It was all awkward as hell, because they kept talking about people she didn’t know. Who were Joseph and Lydia? Oh, the Mikaelsons of the 1700’s. And who was Caleb? He was Caleb Mikaelson, born 1823, of course. Roscoe was Roscoe Mikaelson, who said he was a Confederate soldier, and James, who claimed he was fighting in a world war. (Kol, as he said it, had eyes so big, he looked like a Disney princess. Apparently the idea of the entire world warring was an attractive one.) Then there was Hope and her two sons who came through the wardrobe more often than any relatives before.

Secretly, she planned to search all of this when she got back home, try to prove these people were real.

But before she could do that, she had to disentangle herself from Rebekah and Kol (who, thank god, was mellowing as the night went on).

Luckily, Niklaus sensed what she needed, and stood. “May I accompany you back to the waterfall?”

“Sure, thank you.”

Again, Kol made a confused noise about her word choice.

Aaron stood as well, and moved swiftly towards her and Niklaus. He didn’t have the same gait as Henrik, she noticed. None of them did.

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Caro-line. I am unsure if I will be here next time you visit, so I felt I should say it now.” He clasped her wrist, so she did the same.

Then, after they broke apart, she waved to everyone, and she and Niklaus were off.

They idly chit-chatted as they went. She asked about Aaron’s family, who was in a neighboring village. He’d told her his wife and children were unable to make the trip due to being pregnant or too little. He also said that he’d named his children after their future relatives, and as luck would have it, his wife was pregnant with a little girl. There would be a Caroline Mikaelson out in the world, apparently.

She’d shrugged, thanked him, and went back to listening Rebekah complain about a girl named Tatia.

When they got to the waterfall, she thanked him and kissed his bruised cheek gently. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said before heading back to the wardrobe.

Her phone was buzzing the second she stumbled back onto the hardwood floor.

A cursory glance said no time had passed, and it was Elena calling.

“Hello?”

Elena sobbed, “D-Damon and Stef-fan are in the hospital! They were found in the boarding house after Zach came home and he called me and…. God there was so much b-b-blood.”

Caroline ran for the front door, listening as Elena cried. Eventually, as Caroline was pushing the speed limit to get back to town, Elena hung up.

It took her another ten minutes to get to the hospital and then to the hallway outside the brothers’ rooms. Elena was still crying, Bonnie comforting her over an uncomfortable chair arm.

Numbly, she sat on Elena’s other side. “What happened?” She asked Bonnie in an undertone.

Bonnie shook her head, signalling she’d tell later.

Later was hours later, when Elena was in Damon’s room. Apparently he was the lesser injured brother. She’d had to fight Dr. Fell to be allowed to see him, which had only drained her further. It wouldn’t surprise Caroline if her friend was passed out in there.

As soon as she was gone, Bonnie explained. “Nobody's really sure what happened, honestly, except for the fact that Zach swears he heard someone in the house and there was a lot of blood loss. I think it was a robbery gone wrong, but we just aren’t sure,” Bonnie said apologetically.

“Holy shit,” she said, leaning back with a heavy sigh.

“Yeah,” she agreed. After a pause, she asked, “where were you that it took so long?”

Caroline figured Bonnie was to be trusted more than any of the others, so she said, “the Mikaelson mansion. I...I dropped my purse when I went in, and lost a few things. I couldn’t see in the dark, so I went today.” It worked fine as an excuse -- she could trust Bonnie, but the wardrobe would have to stay secret for now, lest Bonnie call her crazy.

Bonnie, instead of looking appeased, was alarmed. “Caroline...I didn’t say this last night, but that place gives me serious bad vibes. Like, those bad vibes.”

Her tone riled Caroline’s nerves. “Those bad vibes as in Lockwood cellar bad vibes or those bad vibes as in the underground tunnels bad vibes?”

“Tunnel bad vibes.” They shared a knowing look. “It feels evil, the whole building. It feels like it’s been used to summon the devil before. Promise me you won’t go back, Care, please.”

Well fuck, Caroline thought.

“Okay, I won't,” she promised, knowing she'd be back the next day.

[headoverhiddles]

Summertime [Daveed x Reader]

Description: Female!Reader x Daveed. You’re partying at the Wave House in San Diego, when you run into a very attractive stranger who buys you some very expensive tequila. Who are you to refuse? 

Genre: Smut 

Rating: M for bathroom fucking and dirty talk. 

Notes: This is set when Hamilton was in its Public days, so Daveed’s pretty much just begun work on it. Ft. my favourite clippng song and Rafa because Rafa is huggy bear. (I don’t know if he can surf- just go with it shh)

The ocean air was a relief to your lungs- San Diego never disappointed for a vacation. Pacific Beach was one of your favourite places to go, be it for a morning tan, sunset bike ride, or a night at a party you were sure to regret in the morning. Of course, you never could bring yourself to regret it the next day, as the west coast vibe just kept you in a good place. 

The night breeze rolling off the nearby waves sends you shivering in your bikini top and shorts, but just as soon as it comes, it’s replaced by a wave of warmth from the fire pits. The nearby screams of Belmont Park ring out through the night with the music, the Big Dipper coaster roaring by every so often. Where you are, the bar is crowded, the flow barrell is still open, (flow rider is closed; the kids had all gone home hours ago), and the music is loud. Sauntering over to the steps where people are watching someone surf the barrel, you lift your beer to your mouth, drinking the last of it. The guy on the wave’s been up there for a while; he has dirty blonde hair and a couple of tattoos up his arms... not bad looking, you think. 

You consider the guys around you, wondering how many of them would try and come onto girls looking to get lucky tonight. You had really just come out here for a good time, and you certainly weren’t in the mood for any half-baked pick-up lines from a... well, half baked guy. 

Until you approach the bar, and find a drink plopped down in front of you. 

“Thanks for the gift,” you smirk, and the bartender, (who looks a little like Shaggy Rogers, and stoned enough for it too) just puts up his hands. 

“Hey man, normally it would be on the house for a pretty chick like you... but this one’s from Corbin Bleu over there-” he leans in close, smirking, “Dude’s been eye-fucking you all night.” 

Your eyes follow his gestures, and you see a guy with curly hair in a black Oaklandish tank staring over; he looks familiar to you, for some reason. He doesn’t smirk at you, doesn’t wink, doesn’t do anything usually cheesy... just gives a small wave, offering a genuine smile your way. Interest piqued, you lift the glass his way in thanks, and tip it back. 

Patron. Expensive tequila. Who is this dude? 

Bringing it down from your mouth, he’s gone.

“So... you accepted my drink,” his voice said behind you, speaking over the roar of the music and the cheers of the surfer’s growing audience, “Can I assume you’re a little interested?”

“A little,” you reply nonchalantly, swishing the ice around at the bottom. You swivel around to look him over up close, admiring the toned muscles he’s got all the way up his arms, flexing every time he makes a move. Suddenly, a new song begins- Summertime, by clippng. “God, I love this song,” you mutter, getting up to sway your hips a little to the californian style beat. The guy immediately laughs, ducking his head. “What?” you scowl, ready to defend your taste, “They’re a great band.” 

“Yeah, we are,” he laughs, and your eyes widen. 

“Oh fuck! Are you-”

“My name’s Daveed Diggs, I’m... the vocalist of this band, yeah.”

“It didn’t even hit me...” Your eyes widen. 

“Well, at least you didn’t say we were shit,” he grins, “Then you’d be in an even more awkward position than I am.” You can’t help but adopt his infectious beam and laugh with him. 

“No, but... I do really love this song,” you murmur, lifting your arms above your head to move a little more freely, “You guys are great.” When your eyes open again, you catch his own eyes dropping down to your chest... you realize the bikini top you were wearing had no support whatsoever, and the button of your shorts had snapped off months ago, so... 

It's summer, that pot stick  Block burning, G's banging on the beach White tees, no socks shit Palm tree on lean, bass rocks with the knock

“Where do you live?” you ask, because talking more would probably eventually lead to talking less. 

“Far away from here,” he grins endearingly, “New York, actually.”

“New York? Shit, what’re you doing all the way out here?” 

“A bay boy’s gotta come back to his roots when he’s got the time. ‘Course, San Diego’s no Oakland, but the nightlife here is lit.” 

“Can’t disagree,” you smile, “Is it a good scene in New York?”

“Busy as all hell right now,” Daveed huffs, “It really is the city that never sleeps, and I can see why. I’m in workshops right now for this rap musical about the founding fathers...”

“Rapping founding fathers?” 

“Yup,” Daveed frowns, “Terrible idea, fucking brilliant music. Guy who created it’s a genius.”

“Who’re you gonna play?” you murmur, biting your lip, “The guy on the ten? He’s hot.”

“Ha! No, he’s the title role. I’m the guy on the two.” 

“I could try and remember who’s on the two, but I’m a little tipsy and I kind of don’t care about the order of the presidents right now,” you smirk, and he laughs loudly, subconsciously leaning in closer. 

“That makes two of us.” 

“Mmm... wanna buy me another tequila?” you suddenly come out and ask, feeling bold as you dance closer to the attractive rapper. His eyelids droop a little as he shakes himself free of your spell. Opening his mouth, his filter seems to temporarily malfunction.   

“Actually, I...  low-key wanna make you come up against a bathroom stall.” 

“Only low-key wanna?” you tease, wiggling your hips back against his ratty jeans, predicting something to grind against and... yep, there it was, his boner. 

“Okay, very high-key,” he corrects himself with an inopportune voice crack, and you giggle flirtatiously, wrapping your arms backward around his neck. He leans forward a little, trailing his lips up your neck. You keen a little, leaning back into him and his erection that keeps on filling out, and he places kisses up your exposed throat- you can feel his hot breath on your skin, and a shudder runs through you. The night ahead of you will sure be a story worth telling your friends, the way this is heading. 

Low nose clown on they pogo bounce when they slow-mo round Make the hoes go down, homies smoke that loud 'til they choke fall out And they run they mouth, what they don't know might end 'em Cause the women so fine in the summertime Turn a six to a dime in the summertime

“Hun- are you sober enough for it?” he all but whispers, and you can feel him swallow apprehensively. 

“Hell yes,” you breathe, moving your hips, “But hey, I’m here partying in San Diego for a reason... I’m bound to make a couple good, memorable mistakes tonight.” You smirk, turning around to face him. “Wanna be one of them?” 

“I’d love to be all of them,” he growls, and grabs your wrist, leading you through the people dancing and over the cool sand to the shacks.

“That surfer’s really good,” you comment on the way, and Daveed looks back absently. 

“Oh, yeah. That’s actually my friend Rafa- we grew up in the bay area, so surfing’s been his thing, aside from poetry and spitting bars of his own, for a while.” 

“Wow... he’s amazing on the barrel!” you repeat animatedly, hoping to get a rise out of him, “Normally, folks barely last five minutes on the thing.” As you had expected, Daveed gets a bit of a jealous flash. 

“Yeah, well... he’s not good at much else, shit.”

You giggle, squeezing Daveed’s wrist lightly. Too easy. “Chill, Diggs, it’s not like I want his dick in me.” Daveed huffs, and opens the door to the women’s room, peeking inside. 

“Oh shit,” he mutters, pulling back out, and you frown.

“What?”

“Someone’s puking in there, let’s try the men’s.”

A couple of burly guys exit the men’s, giving you a once over, but Daveed seems to scare them off with his stature alone. You and Daveed go in... empty, but your eyebrows immediately go up.

“I thought there’d be a little more room in here,” you murmur, “These stalls are small for a five year old, same as the women’s.”

“Oh yeah,” Daveed lets out a laugh, “We’re probably gonna break the stalls if we try to fuck in there.” 

"Wall?” You lick your lips invitingly, backing up to splay yourself against it. 

“I don’t feel like getting arrested tonight if someone walks in and reports us for public indecency, thanks.” 

"Arrested?” You tug at his shorts. 

“It’s not fun to say the least, wouldn’t recommend it,” he nods, and leads you into a stall, “I guess this is fine... we didn’t need breathing room anyway.” With that, he slams the stall door shut and smashes his lips into yours, teeth grazing upon impact. His pelvis is grinding against you, providing a frustrating friction you wish he would increase. Your hips chase his as he pulls back just a little, and he smirks at you. "Oooh now, impatient." 

"Desperately turned on," you correct with a frustrated huff. 

"I wonder what else I could make you do for my dick..." 

You huff, untying your flimsy bikini top and dropping it to the sandy floor. His eyes immediately fall to your naked breasts, widening comically. You smirk right back at the power shift, twisting a finger in one of his tendrils and tugging. "You were saying?" 

"Uhummm..." he mutters, rendered absolutely speechless, so you take over, bringing his face down into your cleavage and moaning a little. He whimpers, and his instincts kick in as his dick practically guides itself back toward you. 

“Fuck me,” you whisper through a grin into his hair, and Daveed doesn’t need to be told twice. Placing fervent kisses around your nipple and stimulating one with a bite between his teeth, he tugs your denim shorts down to your ankles as you squeal. 

“How the fuck can you even call these shorts?” he breathes, kicking them aside, “It’s practically a damn thong.” 

“Would you rather I’d worn my great aunt capris today?” you tease, and his long, slender fingers squeeze into the meat of your ass and roll it around, lifting you up against the stall wall.

“You could’ve been wearing a damn wetsuit, wouldn’t change the fact that I’d still be getting you naked.” 

“I’d be too hot in a wetsuit,” you complain with a pout.

“Good thing you opted for butt floss then,” he laughs, and goes back to attacking your neck with kisses. 

“Fuck, get in me,” you moan, squeezing your legs around his back, and he uses one arm to hold you up, one to untie his tented swim trunks. Digging around in his pocket, he pulls out a saltwater soaked condom packet, tossing it up to you, where you open it and roll the thankfully dry protection onto him. “Holy shit.” According to you, size mattered, and well...

“What?”

“I didn’t know you would be so huge.” 

Daveed’s visibly aroused by the praise. “I’ll go slow,” he murmurs, though he gulps while saying it. 

“Ha! No thank you,” you whisper back, and thrust your hips forward, burying his tip just inside of you. Daveed lets out a strangled noise, and clutches at your shoulders as he finds his footing, sinking into you all the way. Already, the warm Californian breeze has made the air between you hot, sweat beginning to bead between your breasts and over Daveed’s face and chest. You can hear the music thumping outside, with the beat of the midnight tide nearby; you feel endless. 

“Good for you?” he asks, mouth slightly ajar in bliss. 

“Amazing,” you breathe back, digging your nails into his back and resting your forehead against his. Breathing each other’s air, you both lean in every few thrusts to facilitate a sloppy kiss, tongues down each others throats as Daveed continues to bring you and himself closer. For your part, you squeeze yourself around him and slide down to meet him every time he slams in, making him groan for you. 

“Touch me,” you manage out, and he uses one hand to massage a perky breast, the other to rub circles around your clit. He’s keeping your body up against the stall with his body weight only, which is pretty impressive. “Mmm, that’s good, that’s good, oh my god...” you whisper, and a shudder runs through him, making his curls bounce. 

“I can’t last- ugh... you’re so damn hot...”

“I’m so close,” you groan, tossing your head back. Daveed is just as far gone, chest heaving and thrusts uneven as his body quivers. “Come for me, hun,” he murmurs, and with that encouragement, you squeal, gushing around his thick cock. Watching your face contort with your orgasm, Daveed lets out a choking noise, offering two deep thrusts before blowing his load inside the condom. 

“Wow,” you breathe, running a hand through your hair. He pulls out, and sets you down gently, grabbing some toilet paper to clean off. 

“Yeah.”

“Holy shit.”

“Totally, right?” 

“I guess I... won’t be seeing you.”

“Right... I guess not.” 

You clear your throat- parting was always weird after a no strings attached type thing. “Good luck on your, uh... history show!”

“Yeah, you too,” he replies, then his face scrunches up at his painfully awkward response. 

You two put the clothes you had taken off back on, (all this sand would be a horror to try and get out of the crotch of your shorts later) and walk back out to the Wave House. The place’s vibe has since chilled out even more, and Rafael’s not up on the barrel anymore- it’s a girl now. 

“Diggs!”

“Yo,” Daveed says to someone, and you turn around to find Rafael draping himself over his friend. 

“Get this, right- I forgot my shirt in some chick’s place last night... I’m pretty sure she threw it in the ocean out of sheer spite,” he said, squinting. Daveed snorted. 

“No shirt, no cash looks like... guess you want a ride home.”

“Hell no! The party’s not over yet, I’ve got a tab going, and hey- you haven’t introduced me to your lady friend yet!” 

“Oh, I’m-” you jerk a thumb in the opposite direction, but Daveed suddenly pulls you close, so Rafa bows dramatically, wiggling his eyebrows. “Greetings, lady friend.”

You giggle, wondering where this was going. “My...my name’s (y/n). Your name’s Rafa?” 

“Diggs, you tell people about me?” Rafa mocks swooning, and falls into Daveed’s arms. Daveed shakes his head, and gives him a hug before standing him up properly. 

“Go have some drunk sex, Rafa, it’ll do you good.”

“What, like you? Nah, I’m spent, man. Let’s go smoke up, I’ve got the sweet sticky shit!” 

“I’ve got an off broadway show that’s about to open, shitcarriage, pot kills my chords.” 

You speak up. “Let’s buy some tickets to Belmont, then.” Rafa’s eyes widen, and he stumbles over to you. 

“You’re my hero. She’s my hero, Diggs. I like her. Keep her, or I will.” 

“Noted,” the taller rapper grins, steadying his friend again, and he picks you up off your feet and into his arms. You swing your legs over his shoulder as you make your way to the beachside carnival under the stars. 

“Let’s ride the Big Dipper first,” you suggest, and Daveed nuzzles into your neck with a smirk. 

“I thought you just did,” he grins, and Rafa’s wolf whistle is so loud you hear it over the current clippng song they’re blasting back by the bar. 

[ashley-virginia]

Alright I'm gonna be "that guy" and be totally annoying, but for the unusual asks thing, answer all of them (or whatever ones you want to/have time for) bc I'm honestly genuinely curious :)

Ahhhh thank you so much! I actually love you a whole bunch, because this was so fun and I never really get to do things like this!!

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? spotify

is your room messy or clean? my room at home is messy as hell, but my dorm is pretty neat and pretty.

what color are your eyes? brown, but like a nice chocolate brown!

do you like your name? why? i guess i like it, i think it’s kinda adorable when people mess up the pronunciation and add an extra syllable in the middle. so they say ash-uh-lee instead of just Ashley.

what is your relationship status? s i n g l e 

describe your personality in 3 words or less calm, friendly, shy

what color hair do you have? brunette

what kind of car do you drive? color? white ‘99 solara. i named him caspar :)

where do you shop? target, forever21, kohls (if i’m feeling like dropping big bucks), lush

how would you describe your style? terrible. i have zero style whatsoever. but i guess it’s classic? trendy? what words do you even use to describe style??

favorite social media account tumblr or twitter

what size bed do you have? queen i think

any siblings? only child!

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? somewhere warm so i don’t freeze my butt off, and my skin gets super dry when it’s cold out. so like maybe florida or cali. the outer banks is pretty nice in the summer, they have great beaches

favorite snapchat filter? the butterfly crown thingy

favorite makeup brand(s) COLOURPOP, maybelline, ulta brand?, nyx, too faced…(i have a ton of favs)

how many times a week do you shower? usually 7 because i work out quite often so i don’t want to go to work or class smelling gross like some people do 

favorite tv show? gotham, the flash, supergirl, ouat

shoe size? 6 or 7

how tall are you? 5′3

sandals or sneakers? sneakers because i have ugly, wide feet

do you go to the gym? not really, i usually go on runs or use the treadmill/elliptical that i have in my house. but since there’s a gym on campus i might start going, but it’s also out of the way so idk

describe your dream date cute lunch or dinner at a cute cafe. i’m sipping some hot chocolate and munching on a soft pretzel or muffin. and my date, whoever he or she is, is munching on their snack, telling me about a book their reading or something that makes them happy. maybe afterwards we’ll go on a walk and find a quite place to read

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? maybe like $30? about to be like 10 after i get my lab notebook

what color socks are you wearing? maroon and white

how many pillows do you sleep with? at home: two regular pillows, a body pillow, two pillow pets. at school, one pillow, three decorative pillows.

do you have a job? what do you do? i work part time at an agriculture company, currently at school though, so i work during breaks. but i help with harvest and such, i don’t really know how to explain it without going into major details

how many friends do you have? not a lot. it’s kinda embarrassing to put a number to it 

whats the worst thing you have ever done? give my phone to two of my friends while they prank called some guy that had called one of them while he was very drunk (the dude not my friend). it turns out he was in a very high position in our state, and we all got in a shit ton of trouble :/

whats your favorite candle scent? classic vanilla i suppose. or anything fall themed

3 favorite boy names noah, adam, jonathan (and any variation of it)

3 favorite girl names carrie, zoe, dorothy 

favorite actor? river phoenix or cameron monaghan. i could go on and on about why i picked them

favorite actress? i don’t really have one, but i like emma watson and elizabeth taylor

who is your celebrity crush? probably cam or river

favorite movie? stand by be, the mummy, and et are all collectively number 1 on my list

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? i’ve read 7 books in january so i guess i read a lot. and right now my favorite would probably be The Raven Boys (i’m patiently waiting on the rest of the series to arrive so i can binge read it)

money or brains? brains

do you have a nickname? what is it? sadly i have a very plain nickname. It’s Ash, just the first three letters of my name. but i do like it, usually on my family and few friends call me it, so it’s kinda special to me

how many times have you been to the hospital? oh yikes, proably like 15-20

top 10 favorite songs 

sexual by NEIKED

shout out to my ex by little mix 

anything that dodie calrk sings lol

all i ask by adele

make you feel by love (the glee version)

the dear evan hansen sounddtrack (it hasn’t been released yet but you know i’m gonna love it)

human by darren criss

driftwood by cody simpson (basically the whole album, free, is a bop)

last night on earth by green day

girls like girls by hayley kiyoko

do you take any medications daily? yep, nothing serious just stuff to keep me healthy

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) usually oily, but during very cold days, it can get very very dry

what is your biggest fear? probably being alone in life.

how many kids do you want? maybe 2 or 3

whats your go to hair style? well considering i have short hair, i just shower and let it dry

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) i guess it’s small, but before i left for uni, i was in the process of moving into a slightly bigger house, so now i guess it’s a medium sized house

who is your role model? lea michele

what was the last compliment you received? some girl in my psych class complimented my blue jacket

what was the last text you sent? “i love you” to my dad

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? 7, i saw one of my presents that had yet to be wrapped in the back of my dads truck, and then on christmas day, i opened the exact gift and it had said it was from “Santa”. i didn’t let my parents know for a couple more years.

what is your dream car? idk, i kinda like the one i have now.

opinion on smoking? it’s bad for you and your health, you shouldn’t do it

do you go to college? yep, just started my first semester on monday

what is your dream job? either a writer or an actress, i’m going to school for neither of those things

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? suburbs was always the dream, but i am starting to like more rural areas.

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? no, but my mom does

do you have freckles? yep, on my shoulders and face, though the latter are more prominent in the summer

do you smile for pictures? usually

how many pictures do you have on your phone? 37

have you ever peed in the woods? yep!

do you still watch cartoons? not really, but sometimes i’ll watch old pokemon episodes on netflix

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? i don’t think i’ve ever had wendy’s nuggets, but i’m sure they’re much better than McDonald’s

Favorite dipping sauce? BBQ or ketchup

what do you wear to bed? usually sweatpants and a tank top, but i’ll switch to shorts if it gets too hot

have you ever won a spelling bee? i’ve never been in a spelling bee

what are your hobbies? singing, acting, writing, reading

can you draw? nope

do you play an instrument? ukulele and a bit of guitar

what was the last concert you saw? hunter hayes in 2014

tea or coffee? tea

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? starbucks

do you want to get married? yeah, i’d like to

what is your crush’s first and last initial? JC

are you going to change your last name when you get married? maybe

what color looks best on you? i’ve been told dark green and blue?

do you miss anyone right now? yeah, my dog and family

do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed, i like to think that it keeps the bugs out

do you believe in ghosts? hell yeah

what is your biggest pet peeve? body odor

last person you called my dad

favorite ice cream flavor? vanilla or pistachio 

regular oreos or golden oreos? regular

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? rainbow sprinkles

what shirt are you wearing? not wearing a shirt ;) lol i’m actually just wearing a sweatshirt

what is your phone background? my date for prom and i

are you outgoing or shy? depends, if i’m with good friends, i’m outgoing, if not, i’m usually very very shy

do you like it when people play with your hair? not really

do you like your neighbors? not really

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? morning and night

have you ever been high? nope

have you ever been drunk? nope

last thing you ate? a granola bar for lunch

favorite lyrics right now literally the entirety of Waving Through a Window. like i relate to that so much it makes me cry half the time i listen to it

summer or winter? i guess summer, but i prefer fall to all seasons

day or night? day

dark, milk, or white chocolate? dark

favorite month? october

what is your zodiac sign cancer

who was the last person you cried in front of? probably my dad

[itsjayyyy]

January 10, 2019 12:13 pm

it’s a week after i planned on writing an update, but it’s a thursday so i’m technically on time. I worked tuesday, as i said, and on wednesday rose came over. we first went to the mall so i could show her how decrepit it was, and got auntie anne’s there. I like the mini pretzel dogs, but hate the hot dogs inside them; i just like how the pretzels are rolled up to look like croissants and how the hot dogs imbue the bread with that umami flavor. Then we went back to my place and watched train to busan (the main character was the same guy from coffee prince!), and then went to baanchan for dinner. I remember that she borrowed a shirt and got a stain on it and took it home and said shed wash it but i can’t remember which one. thursday and friday i just kinda lazed around, relaxed for a few days before the semester started. i signed up for postmates, and just today i got an email saying the prepaid card was sent to my address so i’ll activate it when i get home. the weekend was work, as always.

i would like to thank every god for allowing me to live so close to campus, because if i had to wake up any earlier for my 7:30 am calc class i would die. On the first day I woke up at 6, but tbh the earlier i have to wake up, the longer i have to take to get ready so I was kinda rushing and ended up forgetting my wallet. I didn’t want to give up my parking space to go back to get it, so I took the on campus shuttle back to my apartment to pick it up, since i needed my id to get my textbooks. got my textbooks (with no line whatsoever!), went to my evening classes, then went home. oh, and apparently i’m so bad at math. i saw my schedule’s weekly chart and said “oh nice, i have a 4 hour gap in the middle of the day for studying or getting lunch” but apparently it’s a 7 hour gap, from 8 am to 3 pm. coolio.

my calc professor was a bit timid, and has a slight accent. the first day i made the mistake of sitting in the back like last year, and could not focus on a word he said. psychology was chill, we just covered the syllabus. apparently, the psychology department (not my professor) mandates that all intro psych classes’ grades are 10% participating in psychology studies, bc otherwise nobody would volunteer to help them. i hate being forced to do anything, so of course I’m gonna lie and fuck with their studies. asl was my fav class, it’s at 6:30 when campus is empty. we just learned the alphabet (and by that i mean she ran through it once and then we had to go to the front of the class and introduce ourselves). the whole class is immersive, meaning that even on the FIRST day of class we weren’t allowed to speak. as if i understood a single thing she said. there’s a cute girl in that class, we didnt speak to each other (obvs) but when i got stuck while introducing myself, she helped me out since she was in the front row. can i just say i’m PISSED that it seemed like everyone was fluent in asl while i barely knew the alphabet. yall this is an introductory class.

tuesday was a disaster. i woke up at 6 again, but was so beat from the day before that I decided to skip calc, on the grounds that it was all just review and the first unit was my best anyways. i forgot to set a follow up alarm, though, so i woke up naturally at 8:55. and then looked at my class schedule. and saw that my next class was at 9. luckily since i live by campus i was only 6 minutes late, but i forgot literally everything (didn’t bring my phone or my backpack) except for my wallet. I didn’t even have time to shower, or brush my teeth, or comb my hair. immediately after i was done with that class i went home and did all of those. I also went to the pet store to get a new filter for my fish, since my last one broke (after 2 years of having it, which i think is a good lifespan). I installed that, knit more of my gloves, then went back on campus for programming at 6. The professor didn’t even cover the syllabus, he just jumped straight into the lecture. one kid asked about the structure of the class, and at that point he gave a quick summary. it was clear we were all expecting him to start the lecture with the syllabus. i’m so annoyed that last semester i deleted codeblocks, the program used in the course, because i thought i was done with it, and now i have to reinstall it. tuesday evening i watched hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy, which i watched when i was like, 7, but forgot most of. 

wednesday, i woke up at 5:30, so that i would have more time to get ready. I sat in the front of calc, and took really great notes. we finally started getting into psychology, all about behavior and stuff. I did one of their stupid studies before class, it was this survey about “human social perception” but honestly it was asking about how lonely i am. and when you have to actually sit there and quantify how many friends you have, and how often you see them, it really puts it into perspective. kinda felt called out.

ya know how every semester, i creep on webcourses’ list of students in my class? well the cute girl in asl is named “anna” (as per how she introduced herself, it was the only name i could catch), and there’s only one anna in the class, and she has a crazy last name so it was p easy to find her on ig and twitter. i was scrolling down her twitter when i accidentally liked one of her tweets. i quickly unliked it, and i didn’t think she would have gotten the notification bc it was a retweet anyways, but shortly after that she followed me. and then i remembered that my most recent tweet was “so uhh whos gonna tell the cute girl in my asl class that i want to go out with her bc it sure as hell ain’t gonna be me” (cue my death). i deleted it and hoped she didn’t see it, but honestly if she followed me she prob saw it. i hoped that maybe bc i don’t have my real name listed on twitter that she wouldn’t know it was me, but in class i introduced myself as “jay” bc i forgot the symbol for s. pls kill me. and this all happened like 10 minutes before class started. I sat in the back, though, so we weren’t near each other. but at the end of the class we did an activity where we got a card with a word, and we had to find the person with the same card by signing it. we did like 4 rounds, and i was hoping we wouldn’t be together, but in the last round we were. we didn’t talk tho, and as soon as it was over i was gone. 

despite my period being nowhere near, i had a huge depressive episode last night. like, by her ig and twitter, she’s a Distinguished Gay in which she did a high school summer program with Stanford where she did heart surgery on a porcupine, and was an award winning thespian, and has tons of friends and a supportive family, where i’m the complete opposite: no friends, failed 3 classes, family hates me, chose a low paying career, needs alcohol to cope with life. This is one case where opposites don’t attract: she’s not gonna want to be with someone whose life is a complete mess. And then i just got to thinking about how rose tells me that mom lowkey thinks I’m a complete dissapointment for being gay and she only puts up with me bc it’s the muslim thing to do, and how the only way i can make her happy is me being single my whole life so she wouldn’t have to know. how i can never have love. and then rose texted asking for an update and i just kinda lashed out at her. why does she feel the need to tell me about mom talking shit? why would i want to hear that? yea i get the whole “don’t let others talk shit behind my back” idea but sometimes ignorance is bliss. i just don’t want to feel like a pile of shit for once in a while. and of course I’m still so resentful about the way that mom and dad treat rose like a damn golden child while i’ve never gotten 1/10 of the support she has.

This morning i went to calc, then comp, didn’t really pay attention in either. while in comp, heather texted me and was like “we should meet up soon.” rose also texted me; last week we were planning to meet up today but it was kinda dicey since we had that issue last night. and anyways at 11 she said “i got a job interview with izziban at 4, should i go” and i was just like “yea sure” bc i really don’t give a fuck. she always puts everything before me so why bother. then she got all like “if something’s wrong you need to tell me i can’t help if i don’t know what’s wrong” like, how about you read what i sent you last night, that details EVERYTHING that’s wrong. she later said she was gonna skip the interview bc she already has a job and she’s gonna do uber eats, and that she was just gonna have lunch with mom (since mom loves her enough to cook for her) and then head out my way. heather responded that we should meet at 1 today, so i told rose. rose said “should i wait for yall to finish and then come by?” but i havent responded bc i don’t want to see her (ever again).

I soft blocked anna on twitter bc i didn’t want her to see me talking about how i wanted to kill myself on main lmao. anyways i’m gonna go get a smoothie.