#got her 70% off omg

[fortune-cat]

new gorgeous addition! ₊˚⊹♡

[leaf-in-a-flower-garden]

Getting re-obsessed over Two Embers cause it was supposed to be out by now.

[covenofagatha]

Nicky's mom has got it going on (Part 4)

Word count: 3700

Warnings: pool sex, fingering, vibrating underwear, almost getting caught, think that's it

A/N: guys i finally wrote it omg the day has arrived

It’s been a week since the Halloween party, a week since your best friend’s mom fucked your brains out. 

You wish you could say that you regretted it, but that would be a lie. 

Yet every time you hang out with Nicky, you feel your heart squeeze. It would kill him if he found out, and you knew that you would never be able to tell him. 

But your thoughts still found their way back to the older woman, the way her fingers felt curling inside you, the way she tasted when she was riding your face. 

You weren’t sure when the next time you were going to see her was. School is picking up as you were going into Thanksgiving break soon, and you know Nicky is feeling the stress too. 

But the next Saturday, the weather is lovely and Nicky invites you over for a pool day at his house. It’s the first time the New Jersey winter has climbed into the 70s, and you’re both determined to make the most of it. 

And you’ll get to see Agatha again. 

The thought makes your stomach twist and turn, both with nerves and excitement. 

She had dragged you back upstairs after you made that quip about your lover being just ‘alright’ to Nicky and she had put you in your place. 

Three orgasms later, she had finally let you leave the room to go back downstairs to the party, but after all the guests left and her son had gone to bed, she came into the guest room so you could return the favor. 

The next morning, she was gone from the bed by the time you’d woken up and you couldn’t help but feel disappointed, even though you obviously knew she couldn’t stay. It was risky regardless, having sex with your best friend’s mom with him right down the hall, so there was no need to push it. 

And when you had gone downstairs, Nicky was already there, laughing at your disheveled state. Agatha had given you a heated glance, but that had been it. 

That was the last time you’d spoken to her. 

And now you’re going swimming at their house, where Agatha may or may not be there. 

You hope she will, but you do know that she might be working. 

Just in case, you put on one of your most flattering bikinis, a purple number that leaves little to the imagination. 

It’s a dangerous game to play, especially since Nicky will be there, but you miss the older woman. And you don’t really know where things stand with her, so you figure this will be a great way to find out. 

You throw a towel into a bag with some sunscreen and drive over to their house, your heart rate picking up as you get closer. 

Nicky opens the door. 

“Hey!” He exclaims. “Ready for the first pool day since summer?” 

You step into the house, eyes peeled for his mom. “You know it. It’s been too long. I’ve missed the sun.”

No sign of her. You try your best not to feel too down; you knew her working would be a possibility. But the fresh warm air on their back patio makes you temporarily forget about the older woman and you take a deep breath. 

Nicky disturbs your moment of peace by cannonballing into the pool, splashing you with water. You glare at him, pretending to be mad, before quickly stripping off your clothes and jumping in as well. 

The two of you play around for what seems like forever, and you’ve missed having this much fun with your best friend. With school and work, it seems like the two of you haven’t just hung out in a while, and this was a desperately needed break from all that stress. 

“Finally warm enough for a swim, hm?” You hear a voice ring out from the deck. You whirl around to see Agatha Harkness standing there, regal as ever. She makes your mouth run dry when her eyes shift to you, a brow raising ever slightly at the sight of you in the swim suit. 

“Wanna join?” Nicky asks and playfully flicks water at his mom. She gasps with mock outrage and then laughs. 

“Give me a second to go put on my suit. As long as y/n doesn’t mind if I hop in?” She turns her full attention to you, expectantly waiting for an answer, but your brain has short-circuited at the thought of her in a swimsuit. 

“Oh, yeah, no, that would be fine,” you stammer out and she smirks knowingly. When she goes back inside, Nicky douses your face with water. 

“Dude, what is going on between you and my mom?” He asks, and you choke, spiraling into a coughing fit. 

You’re still struggling to breathe, but you force out: “What do you mean?” Panic grips your heart and you’re so afraid of what he’s going to say next. 

“Like, you know, you’re always turning red around her and stuff. Oh my god, do you think she’s hot?” He whispers, eyes widening. 

“What?” You snap, protests locked and loaded on your tongue, but he just laughs. 

“You’re not the first person to think she’s a MILF. I don’t think she’s into girls though,” he says, fake sadness in his voice, and you almost choke again.

If only he knew. 

She sure seemed into girls when her fingers and tongue were buried in your cunt a week ago. 

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” you say hastily and duck underwater to hide your burning cheeks. 

When you resurface for air, Agatha is standing there on the deck wearing a one-piece black suit with a low cut revealing quite an eyeful of her magnificent cleavage. You have to clench your teeth together tightly when she gives you a wink before walking down the steps into the water. She lets out an exaggerated moan, surely just to mess with you, at the feel and you have to bite back a whimper at the sound. 

She gets all the way to the ground before she pauses. “Shoot, I was going to bring out some lemonade for everyone. Nicky, would you be a dear and go get it? Maybe some snacks too?” 

Nicky, ever the mama’s boy, obeys without hesitation. He jumps out of the pool, grabs his towel, and hurries into the house. 

Agatha immediately paces on you and you back up until your back hits the wall facing the door, feeling a spark in your stomach at the glint in her eye. 

“Hey,” she whispers when she’s a hair away from you and you can’t stop from looking down at her lips. 

Her hands come to grasp onto your bare waist and you gasp. “Hi,” you croak, your body already leaning into her touch that you’ve sorely missed this week. She pulls you by your hips into a kiss that you quickly pull away from (after giving in for a second or two, of course). “Nicky could come back at any minute,” you hiss and she just chuckles. 

“You didn’t seem too concerned with my son catching us the other night with how loud you were moaning my name,” she teases, dropping her head down to press her lips against the chlorinated skin on your neck. You shudder at the feeling and your head drops back slightly. 

The feeling in your belly stirs when she fits a thigh between your legs. “Agatha,” you whimper and slowly roll your hips against the firm muscle. Your hands come up to trace her biceps and she smirks. She presses harder and your lips part, but then she steps back and removes her leg. 

“Nicky could come back at any minute,” she throws your words back in your face and you groan. 

You chew on your lip and think about it. Pouring lemonade and getting snacks won’t take very long, so it would be better to be careful. 

But like she said, that hasn’t stopped either of you before. So you seductively turn around, rest your arms on the deck, and tilt your head over your shoulder while you sway your ass back and forth. 

She chuckles darkly and in an instant, her front is against your back and her hand dips down around your body to play with the edge of your bottoms. 

“Are you sure you want to play this game, sweetheart?” She asks, voice low in your ear, and you nod eagerly. Her fingers crawl inside your suit and she finds your clit immediately, rubbing small circles around it. 

Your head falls back against hers as you let out a small noise. You’ve missed her hands on you so much. 

She continues her administrations, dipping a finger down every so often to collect wetness from your pussy. Even in the water, she can feel how turned on you’ve become and her teeth graze your earlobe. She keeps drawing out small gasps from your mouth with her movements and she finally has enough of her teasing and slides her middle finger into you. 

“God, Agatha,” you groan, grinding your hips to get her deeper. 

She tuts. “What was that?” 

The words come tumbling out of your mouth. “Fuck, Mommy, please, I need more.” She gives a sound of approval and slides another finger in, curling them perfectly. 

She’s panting open-mouthed against your neck, fucking her two fingers into you so well, when all of a sudden, the sliding glass door opens. Agatha and you both freeze, and your heart pounds. 

“Hey, mom,” Nicky calls, walking out while reading the label on a box of crackers. Agatha gives you a quick thrust with her fingers and you bite your lip before you give yourselves away. “Do you think these are okay? The expiration date was–” He finally looks up to find his mom pressing his best friend against the pool wall. “–what are you guys doing?” 

You feel like you’re going to throw up. 

“Her swimsuit top was getting loose so I was just helping her tie it tighter,” Agatha says behind you, stroking your clit with her thumb, and you tense. You’re not sure you’ve breathed since Nicky walked out. Thankfully, from the way you’re angled and with how far away Nicky is standing, he can’t see Agatha’s hand down the front of your suit. 

He seems to buy it though. “So crackers or no crackers?” 

And you’re finally able to exhale. You can feel the tension literally seep out of your body. 

But Agatha shifts forward so think about it, which forces her fingers in deeper, and you clamp your teeth down so hard on your tongue that you taste blood. 

“You know, I’m getting hungrier, why don’t we make something–” But she cuts off in a gasp, because in the middle of her sentence, you clench your walls around her as payback. “For lunch?” She finishes weakly, but Nicky nods in agreement, none the wiser. “So we’ll get out and get dressed, yeah?” She asks you, and you catch her eye and give your hips a tiny roll. She gives you a warning look and the corners of your mouth tug into a smirk. 

It feels good to gain a bit of leverage over her sometimes.

“Okay, sounds good, I’ll be inside whenever you weirdos decide to come in,” Nicky says, having had enough of whatever you and his mom are doing. 

When the door finally closes, Agatha sinks her teeth into your shoulder and you moan loudly. “That’s for teasing,” she says and pulls her hand out of your cunt. You whine at the emptiness and turn around to face her, aching for release. 

“But–” you start and she splashes you gently to shut you up. 

“Maybe later. But we need to go in now before Nicky actually gets suspicious.” 

You grumble, but you know she has a point, so you begrudgingly get out of the pool, Agatha behind you, and you grab your towel to dry off. As you’re looking through your tote bag that you brought, you realize something. 

“Fuck, I forgot underwear,” you curse, mostly to yourself, but the older woman happens to be right next to you and hears it. 

You know she’s smirking before you even look at her. “You can borrow some of mine,” she says, all sickly sweet, and you just know she’s up to something. 

Once the two of you are sufficiently dry, you follow her back into the house and up the stairs to her bedroom. She had told Nicky that she was letting you borrow something and you figured it was going to just be a quick trip. 

Which is unfortunate for you, because you are still dripping. You can feel the mess between your thighs with each step and it’s becoming uncomfortable. 

But you’re good, and you just stand there awkwardly while Agatha roots around in her drawer, shoving aside a multitude of other pairs that you’re sure would work perfectly, until she pulls out a lacy black pair and holds them out to you. 

“Put these on,” she says, grinning wolfishly, and you hesitantly reach out and take them. Just to tease, or at least maybe level the playing field for whatever she has planned, you keep eye contact while you reach behind you and untie your top. 

Her jaw slackens when you finally peel the fabric from your breasts and you can see her hands twitch, like it’s painful for her to not just reach out and touch you. 

And then her lips part when you start to slide your bottoms down and you can feel her eyes burning into you. When they’re around your feet, you kick them at her and she catches them in one hand, staring at them like her brain just shut off. 

“Mom!” Nicky’s voice rings through the heated silence in the room and Agatha shakes out of her daze. 

She fluffs her hair with her hand and throws your suit back to you. “Get dressed and come back downstairs quickly,” she orders, stripping naked and throwing on a crewneck and sweatpants, slipping something you can’t discern from the underwear drawer quickly into her pocket, before you even have a chance to ogle. 

Agatha runs out of the room and you hear her footsteps on the stairs and you turn back to the underwear she gave you. It’s thick and you can tell it is some special pair, but you have no idea what it is. 

So you put on your jean shorts and your t-shirt, comb through your wet hair, and go back downstairs. 

Agatha is helping Nicky make grilled cheeses but they both turn around when they hear you enter the kitchen. 

“There you are,” Nicky comments, while his mom gives you a wink. 

You walk over to them and rest your hands on the counter, observing what they’re doing. “What can I do to help?” 

And that’s when you feel it: vibrations against your clit that have you gasping and doubling over in shock and at the intensity. 

Nicky rushes to your side and cries your name out, but when the rumbling suddenly stops and you’re able to lift your head, you see Agatha wearing a wicked smirk.

The underwear. 

That’s why she wanted you to put them on, so she could tease you right in front of her son without actually risking being caught touching you. The thing she put in h

Fuck. 

“Are you okay?” Nicky asks again, shaking your shoulders. You stand up, instinctively bracing yourself against the countertop just in case she tries to do it again. 

You shoot Agatha a look before answering. “Yeah, sorry, just cramps,” you lie. To his credit, he doesn’t seem to be grossed out, he just helps you over to sit down on the couch. 

“Why don’t you just rest then and let us take care of the food?” He offers sweetly and you give him a smile. 

If only his mother was as nice as him. 

The second Nicky walks away, the vibrations start again and you have to bite down on your finger to keep from moaning. You can feel Agatha’s eyes on you as you start to sweat from how good it feels and your face is burning. 

In typical Agatha fashion, she teases you while she and Nicky finish making lunch by turning it up and then down or making it pulse against your clit. You can feel just how absolutely soaked you are and you squirm back and forth on the couch, silently begging for more. 

“Do you want anything besides the sandwich?” Nicky asks you and you open your mouth to respond but have to instantly snap it shut when Agatha turns it up even more. 

You take a deep breath and try to ignore the buzzing against the most sensitive part of your body. “I’m okay, thanks.” Your voice trembles from the effort of staying composed and you can see Agatha’s shoulders shaking with contained laughter. 

Nicky brings over two plates and sets one down in front of you. He sits in the chair adjacent to the couch while Agatha plops down next to you. 

“You doing okay, hon?” She asks, reaching over to pat your leg and her touch makes you clench around nothing. You dig your fingernails into your palms to stop yourself from grabbing her hand and shoving it down your shorts. 

The teasing is maddening. 

“Yeah, good,” you rasp, glaring at her while simultaneously pleading with your eyes to be let out of your misery. 

It’s like she knows exactly when you’re about to cum because she either stops the vibrations entirely or slows them down to where you can barely feel anything at all. 

You try to focus on eating the grilled cheese, but you can’t stop your hips from undulating, no matter how hard you try. It gets so bad that Agatha throws a blanket over you, muttering something about how cold you look so Nicky doesn’t question it. 

With the extra privacy, you’re free to shift your weight more to angle the vibrations better against your clit. You can feel the rumbles throughout your entire pussy and you can feel your mind slowly losing the ability to think. 

You set down your plate, maybe three bites taken out of the food, and toss the other half of the blanket over Agatha’s legs. Thankfully, Nicky is flipping through the TV channels so he doesn’t notice. 

Agatha watches your face carefully when your hand digs into her thigh through her pants as she turns up the intensity, watching every little twitch of your eyebrows as you try to keep it together. 

And then, she suddenly reaches over under the blanket to cup your pussy and press the crotch of the panties against you hard, and a moan tears its way out of your throat. You have to fake a cough to cover it up, but luckily Nicky doesn’t look over. 

Her hand is gone as soon as it appeared and you’re left rhythmlessly stuttering your hips, frantically chasing the high you so desperately need. 

But it doesn’t come. 

Agatha keeps you on edge for almost twenty minutes, turning it up and down and off completely and then back on, and you’re practically panting into the blanket because you can’t breathe too loudly. 

It’s the sweetest torture one could bear. 

And then finally, finally, Nicky stands up and announces that he has to go to the bathroom. 

The moment he leaves the room, you literally throw yourself into Agatha’s lap, straddling her waist and grinding against her, each movement against her stomach pressing the toy in the underwear harder to your clit. 

“Agatha, Mommy, please,” you gasp against her lips and her fingers make their way down into your shorts. Instead of dipping into the underwear though, they go in-between them and your jeans so she can directly position the piece right where she wants it.

Her other finger fumbles with something in her pocket, the remote, you’re guessing, and you sink your teeth into her neck before the high-pitched whine can escape at the heightened intensity. 

“Better hurry up,” she taunts and you buck your hips at her tone. “You don’t want my son coming back in to find you cumming all over his mommy, do you?” 

You shake your head at the rhetorical question and focus on how the vibrations feel against you. You can feel them throughout your whole body and you’re getting so close. 

“Please, please, I need more,” you beg, having been kept on the edge for so long that you don’t think you can cum from just this. 

But Agatha always knows what you need, even after only spending one night with you. 

She pushes the underwear to the side to slide three fingers into you easily, curves them just right, and that coupled with the vibration still against your clit makes you explode. 

You bite her again to muffle your cries while you grind, dragging your orgasm out as much as you can. 

And then the toilet flushes and you hear the sink running. By the time it turns off, you’ve wiped your sweaty forehead and are sitting back in your normal spot, readjusting the blanket. 

Nicky walks back in just as Agatha pops her fingers into her mouth, sucking the taste of you off. Your body clenches weakly at the sight of that and of course she sees it and smirks. 

“Everything okay in here? Thought I heard something,” Nicky asks. You keep your eyes peeled on the TV even though you can see Agatha’s smile out of the corner of your eye. 

“Just the show,” she says casually and Nicky accepts it, settling back down in the chair. 

Agatha leans closer and chuckles quietly into your ear. “Next time, you need to make less noise.” 

And it’s impossible to miss the way your body shivers at the promise of a next time. 

[bangtan-junkie]

Dissonance (Part 2) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (f)

Part 1, Part 2

Genre/Tags: coworker!JK, enemies to lovers, smutttttt, slow burn (ish?), ANGST

Word Count: 6799 words

Synopsis:

After being left alone and humiliated on the floor of a dirty bar bathroom by Jungkook, you had to pick yourself up off the ground (literally). You had to get even, embarrass him like he'd done to you. Maybe you were mean to him before, but you were about to become a nightmare to humble this man. Unfortunately for you, your anger was short sighted, while Jungkook's wasn't. So you never predicted how your plans might backfire on you...

Note:

it's finally fucking here omg. ik it's super late but i'm finally decently satisfied with this. i'm looking forward to writing part 3 bc that's where the tension finally breaks and y'all aren't even ready for the revenge y/n gets lol. i hope y'all enjoy this and it lives up to part 1! i'd love to know your thoughts, if you're still pissed with jk lol, and any suggestions or requests are always welcome! chatting with you guys is my fav part <3

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Dread consumed your senses from the moment you woke up. The weekend had passed, but your chest still burned with rage at the thought of having to see Jungkook again. You hadn't even noticed the time go by over the last two days, too busy seething in your own anger. If you hated Jungkook before, you loathed him now. You forced composure as you got dressed for work. Jungkook already had the upper hand when he'd left you in the bar bathroom. He knew that you'd seen him with the girl afterwards too. You couldn't even think about whether he'd went home with her that night without being sick. After all that, the last thing you wanted was for him to think he had any kind of effect on you. You were going to go back to work with pride and confidence. At least you wanted to.

When you finally got to work, you made a beeline for your desk, pointedly not looking for Jungkook. As you settled in, one of your coworkers stopped by your desk.

"Oh hey Y/n, you feeling any better?" he asked. Your head whipped up, a gentle voice ripping you away from your resentful thoughts. You looked up at him in confusion, eyes settling on his red hair. "From Friday? You left early because you weren't feeling well?"

"Oh, right," you cleared your throat. Just then, you saw Jungkook's unmistakable figure from the corner of your eye. He was talking to someone but you could feel his eyes boring into you. Your blood began to boil but you forced yourself to stay calm. You refused to indulge him at all. "I'm feeling much better actually, thanks Jimin," you replied, shooting your coworker a sweet smile. Jimin was your acquaintance in the office; someone you could actually stand in that place. He was always kind and helpful which automatically made him better than 70% of the people there. Even though you hung out in the same circles, you never really became close friends. Probably because you were always more focused on how annoying Jungkook was whenever you were out. And you were doing it again. You made conversation to force any thoughts of him out of your mind.

"How does your hair seem more red every time I see you?" you asked with a light-hearted laugh.

"I can't be caught slacking. I put in a lot of work to keep this hair ya know," he smiled back at you.

"I still don't know how you got permission from the boss for that," you gestured to his hair. "I asked before and she shut me down so fast." Jimin laughed at the annoyed expression on your face, finding it endearing.

"I guess I'm just that charming," he shrugged, holding back a chuckle. You couldn't help but snicker. Jimin's jokes weren't that different from Jungkook's, but he wasn't obnoxious about it. Jungkook obviously believed his jokes and thought he was god's gift to the world, which made him insufferable. Jimin, on the other hand, didn't take his jokes too seriously and wasn't constantly flirting with anything that moved.

Jungkook, who was barely listening to the person talking to him, had heard your exchange with Jimin. He felt annoyance build in his chest. He knew that if he'd made the same joke, you would've been rolling your eyes and making fun of him. So why were you giggling when Jimin said it? He tried to distract himself by trying to focus on the conversation he was supposed to be having.

A quick chat with Jimin later, you turned back to your desk. You made the mistake of looking up and caught Jungkook's gaze. He looked at you, an indifferent look on his face. He wasn't sure what he was expecting; maybe you'd look away in embarrassment, maybe you'd glare at him angrily. But what he didn't expect was the cold, empty look you gave him - like you were looking right through him, like he wasn't even there. His brows furrowed for a quick second, even more annoyed now. You went right back to work.

That's how the next few days went by. Every time Jungkook was remotely in your vicinity, you'd look through him without ever acknowledging him. If he even tried to walk your way, you left the room immediately. At first, Jungkook thought you were just being childish. But when you regained your confidence after a few days, he knew that you weren't through with him just yet. If he thought your insults were bad before, the newfound loathing you had for him made things ten times worse. It started with you amplifying the spite in your voice when you insulted him for his work. You refused to speak with him directly either, so all the insults were being thrown indirectly and in front of your other coworkers. With every second this continued, Jungkook felt his patience running thin. But if you were stubborn, so was he. He kept up your little game by firing back with his usual sarcastic or flirty remarks. Internally, he was burning with fury, just like you wanted him to.

All the animosity and anger eventually came to its boiling point when you crossed the line for the last time. You had walked to your desk that morning to find that your boss had paired you and Jungkook on the next project. Your skin crawled at the idea of having to work with him over the next few weeks. Part of you wondered if Jungkook had something to do with this. Thinking about him getting your boss on board with making you his partner for this big project was only adding to the fire that was spreading through your body. You already hated the way your boss melted around him, but to think that he could manipulate her to this level? After spiraling for a few minutes, you forced yourself to take deep breaths. You had to remind yourself that you were jumping to conclusions and then convince yourself not to march over to Jungkook's desk and give him a piece of your mind. You tried to get back to work, but all you could think about were what reasonable excuses you could make to get out of this situation. The rest of your morning was spent racking your mind. With no luck, you decided to join your coworkers for lunch; hoping that it would give you a distraction.

Unluckily for you, Jungkook walked into the staff lunchroom soon after, only to find you and some of your other coworkers chatting around the coffee machine. Well, they were chatting and you were busy glaring him down from the second he stepped into the room. Your dark eyes peered at him over the rim of your mug as you sipped your coffee. You knew that there was no way in hell he was going to approach you to talk about this. The solution to your problem practically fell into your lap when you zoned back in to the conversation around you. If he really did get the boss to put you on the project with him, you'd make him regret that decision.

"I can't believe you got that huge project Y/n! You're so lucky," one of them said, playfully pouting.

"Talk about lucky," someone else chimed in, "You even get to work with Jungkook. But I guess that isn't so lucky for you." They laughed lightly, poking fun at you. Clearly they hadn't noticed that Jungkook was in the room, listening.

"Everyone here knows how much you hate him, even the boss. Really, what was she thinking pairing you guys up?" They continued to laugh at your misery. But you weren't annoyed. Instead, your mind lit up with the perfect way to get under Jungkook's skin in that moment. The second he saw the way your eyes lit up, he knew he was in for it. Jungkook prided himself on the fact that everyone liked him and thought highly of him. So what better way to get your revenge and get him to kick you off the project than to take that away from him?

"Yeah," you said skeptically, "She's never paired us up before." You continued to stare directly at Jungkook. Your coworkers looked at you with confusion and amusement.

"What changed this time?" Jimin's voice rang through the room as he walked in to join you. He'd already spotted Jungkook in the other corner of the room, and he saw the dark glint in your eyes. It was clear to him that you were up to something. So he helped you out by stirring the pot a little. Jungkook squinted his eyes at you, annoyed at seeing Jimin again and wondering where you were going with this.

"I think Jungkook really wanted this project," you answered. "And it's easy to get whatever you want when you're fucking the boss," you said, not breaking eye contact for a second. Gasps erupted across the circle as they all looked at you in disbelief. Jimin's brows raised and he scoffed, slightly taken aback that you were making that accusation. But you were more focused on Jungkook's reaction. The look on his face was beyond furious. His eyes darkened and you saw the tick in his jaw as he clenched it.

"Wait, you really think so?" one of them asked, everyone already engrossed in the gossip.

"He is a manwhore," you shrugged. Jimin stifled his laugh, not wanting to be too mean to Jungkook. You finally looked away from Jungkook and back at the group. "And he always gets the good projects. Boss doesn't favour anyone else like that." Your coworkers immediately started gossiping amongst themselves, making random connections because what you said made sense. Some of them already started getting riled up, thinking that their opportunities had been snatched by Jungkook through the boss. You obviously didn't know for sure whether Jungkook was sleeping with your boss or not. But you didn't have to. You just had to plant the idea and you knew your coworkers would jump to conclusions.

"You must be really pissed at him," Jimin whispered, leaning back against the counter. You felt Jungkook's eyes glaring daggers at you but you paid him no attention.

"I promise he had it coming," you whispered back, a devious smirk settling on your lips.

"Remind me to never get on your bad side," he chuckled. You just shot him a smirk. When you glanced back at Jungkook, you barely caught him walking out the door. You didn't know what you were expecting. Maybe you wanted him to lose his shit in front of everyone, or yank you out of the room with him. So the disappointment you felt only annoyed you more. By the time you finished your lunch and made your way back to your desk, you already began hearing whispers about Jungkook and your boss. For a moment, you wondered if this was crossing the line. Definitely. But so was getting you to blow him and ditching you in that bathroom. Now you're even. You couldn't help but smile, knowing that he must be seething about the rumours.

A couple hours later, you were being called to your boss' office to discuss the new project she'd assigned you and Jungkook. You reluctantly grabbed your things and made your way there. You couldn't keep in your scoff when you saw Jungkook already there, making your boss giggle about god knows what. Your boss cleared her throat as she noticed you in the doorway, peeling herself off her desk from how far she was leaning forward towards Jungkook. You fought the urge to roll your eyes. Way to be subtle.

"Y/n," she announced, "Come, sit down." You forced a smile as you sat down in the chair next to Jungkook. He didn't say anything to you, didn't even bother looking at you. Just being in his proximity was pissing you off, especially since he had nothing to say to you. Obviously he couldn't say anything in front of the boss, but you wanted to see that you'd made him just as angry as he'd made you. Maybe all this rage was clouding your mind and judgement...but who cares?

You pulled out your pen and began taking notes as she started talking about the project. Despite hating working with Jungkook, you weren't going to let that ruin your work on this project. You rolled your eyes when you saw that he wasn't taking notes at all. Of course. As your boss began wrapping up the conversation, you gathered your things again, getting up to leave.

"Listen you two," she started, her tone changing. You raised your brows and sat down, curious what she had to say. "I know you don't like working together, but this is an important project. So please, put your feelings aside and work on this together." You scoffed, forgetting to keep your composure. That's when Jungkook finally looked at you. His eyes were fiery but he looked vaguely amused that you had the courage to scoff at the boss. Your boss was also looking at you expectantly, waiting for an explanation. That was all you needed to decide that maybe you weren't even with him just yet.

"Sorry, but it's not about feelings. Our work ethics don't match. I'd rather work on this alone," you said, straightening your back as you felt like you were in the spotlight. Your boss didn't look too happy.

"This isn't a one person project Y/n," she pointed out.

"I know, but it would honestly be easier to do the work myself instead of having to chase him around, begging him to get anything done." The amusement quickly disappeared from Jungkook's face.

"Excuse me?" he finally spoke. You ignored him.

"Maybe we can switch him out for someone who's actually focused on their work instead of flirting," you boldly stated. Your boss scoffed in disbelief.

"What is your problem? Do you think I want to work with you?" Jungkook spat, just about done with your shit. He shifted in his chair to face you, one hand gripping the armrest hard enough to see the whites of his knuckles. Oh now he had something to say.

"You're lucky to be working on this with me. Or else this project would've gone to shit," you retorted with an equal amount of spite.

"There's a reason I'm on this project Y/n. Because I'm good at my job. So if you're letting your personal feelings affect your professionalism, you need to get a grip." His words stung but you refused to accept that there was some truth to them. He was giving you a taste of your own medicine; humiliating you in front of your boss like you were doing to him. All your self control and common sense went out the window when you felt that embarrassment.

"Yeah, that's why you're on this project," you said sarcastically, referring to the rumour you'd started a few short hours ago. You could practically see his nostrils flare as he willed himself to keep his mouth shut.

"You're out of line Y/n," your boss jumped in. She hadn't heard the rumours yet, but she could clearly see that Jungkook didn't like the implications of what you had said. "I don't care whether you two like each other or not. You will put aside...whatever this is...and work together on this, and that's final," she said firmly. Irritation coursed through you, seeing her take Jungkook's side yet again.

"Yes ma'am," you barely grit through your teeth. You'd be darned if you got fired over Jungkook. You quickly stood up and left, rushing to the file room for a moment to cool down. It was the only place you could get some silence - no one ever really stepped into the filing room because most of your work was stored digitally anyways. You pressed your back to one of the metal cabinets, sliding down to crouch as the door slowly shut. You took some deep breaths to calm down. If you went back out there now, you would rip someone's head off. How did Jungkook have the audacity to continue being a dick to you? You knew you'd without a doubt crossed the line back there, but despite that, you didn't feel even with him yet. After a few moments of dragging your mind away from these thoughts, you took one last deep breath and stood back up. You straightened your skirt and fixed your hair. Since you were already there, you decided to grab some files you needed for the project before going back out there. You turned around, pulling a drawer open and digging through the files before you found them. Just as you pulled them out, you heard the door open behind you. You already knew who it was, getting a waft of his cologne. Your heart already began beating faster, not knowing what to anticipate. There was a beat of silence as the door slowly shut.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jungkook grit through his teeth, trying to keep his voice down. You didn't bother turning around or replying to him. Any semblance of self control he had left snapped when you didn't even acknowledge him. With three quick strides, he was right behind you, pressing you face flat against the cabinets. He yanked one of your hands behind your back, making you drop your files. You yelped as his entire body caged you in, slight panic rising in your chest.

"You don't get to ignore me now," he snapped, voice low. "You haven't shut the fuck up for the last few days, don't start now." He yanked your arm down further so he could hold your wrist with one hand. You groaned at the ache, but decided against complaining about it. His anger was palpable; you could practically feel it seeping through your skin, igniting your own fury. In the shock of the moment, you'd almost forgotten that Jungkook wasn't the only one with reason to be upset. This was all a consequence of his insanely disrespectful behaviour, and he had the nerve to be mad at you now?

"What is it? What's got you so fucking riled up, hmm?" He sounded bewildered, gritting the words through his teeth. The more he pressed against you, the harder it got to ignore the heat building in you. An ugly satisfaction was creeping through you seeing the way you'd managed to get under his skin. This was what you wanted; to see that you'd affected him.

"Didn't get enough cock last time? That it?" he growled, bending down next to your ear. His words pierced right through you, as if he knew exactly which buttons to press.

"Fuck you," you spat before you could compose yourself. You strained in his hold, your arm coming up to elbow him in the ribs. To your dismay, Jungkook predicted your move and held you tighter, keeping you still.

"I thought it'd be enough to keep you satiated for at least a week. But you're just a cock hungry whore hm? " he taunted, his lips grazing your ear and sending an involuntary shiver down your spine. "I should've fucked your throat a little harder. Wouldn't be able to lie about me to everyone - including our boss - then, would you?" Despite the bitterness in his voice, your body reacted to his words. Your mind was scolding itself for the rush of arousal that coursed through you. How was he still affecting you like this?

You shook your head clear. No. He wasn't going to have his way this time.

"Lie? I haven't lied about anything," you replied with a snarky tone. Jungkook chuckled in disbelief. He quickly flipped you around so you were forced to face him. You didn't hesitate to meet his ravenous gaze with your own.

"No? So you really think I'm sleeping with the boss?" he asked, tone getting serious. You shrugged nonchalantly, annoying him more.

"You'll fuck anything that moves," you jabbed. "At least fucking the boss has some real benefits unlike the girl from the bar. Maybe she'd even give you a raise if you could satisfy her properly." Jungkook couldn't hide the disgust that flared across his features; insulted that you thought so little of him. The urge to shut you up was growing stronger by the second, burning through his insides. You were going to drive him insane.

"Watch yourself," he warned, the words coming out dark and gravelly. But the surge of excitement that you felt, knowing that you had managed to provoke him, was addicting. You wanted more.

"If it was anyone else, I'd be all for it. Get that bag, you know?" you said with indifference. "But you? I thought the boss had better taste. Her bar must be in hell." That was enough for Jungkook. Before you even had a second to process what was happening, one of his hands was wrapped around your neck. His fingers dug into the flesh, limiting your breath in the most delicious way.

"You didn't seem to think so when you were begging me to touch you - to fuck you in a dirty bar bathroom," he growled, stepping closer, face inches from yours.

"Yeah, obviously I expected too much," you sneered. "You don't know how to please anyone but yourself. Boss must be a real masochist to keep going back to you. Poor thing," you tutted, knowing you'd practically nailed the head in your own coffin before you'd even finished your thought. Jungkook's face contorted in a snarl as his grip tightened around your throat. You gasped, the dark swirl in your core intensifying.

"Maybe I should talk to her," you patronized, chasing the high from pissing him off. "I can recommend someone who can actually make her feel good - get her off. A man. Not a selfish boy," you emphasized. "Think she'll like me better than you after that?" With that, his other hand was pressed firmly against your mouth, effectively shutting you up. You grunted at the sheer pressure of his hold, now struggling to breathe.

"You just don't shut up, do you?" he spat. The look in his eyes was nearly feral; like he was going to eat you alive. His ego took a hit to your words, even though he knew you didn't actually believe everything you'd said. Still, you seemed to be stuck on his 'selfishness'. It infuriated him that you didn't understand why he wasn't giving you what you wanted, but he'd had enough of you running your mouth. If you'd forgotten how easily he made you melt under his touch, he'd just have to remind you. And make sure you never forgot again.

With each passing second of silent seething, you thought he might actually choke you out. But then he let go of you. You gasped for air, coughing as you caught your breath. Just as you were about to shoot him the dirtiest look you could muster, Jungkook sank to his knees. The snarky remark on your tongue vanished as you watched him kneel in front of you, looking up at you with a carnivorous gaze. Lust consumed your senses as he wordlessly loosened his tie, tugging at the collar of his shirt. You'd think that seeing him on his knees would make you feel more powerful in the situation. But the hunger in his eyes made it clear that he was still very much in control.

Simply put: Jungkook, in a suit and on his knees, was enough to wipe away your last bit of common sense.

"This is what you want, right?" he asked, his hands slipping under your skirt. You felt paralyzed, your breath caught in your throat. His hands moved up your thighs, slowly dragging your skirt up with them. "You wanna cum, yeah?" You were genuinely struggling to form any thoughts, your senses heightened.

"Want me to make you cum?" A strangled groan bubbled in your throat at his tone. He'd barely done a thing and your breathing was already heavy. So much for your resolve. As your skirt bunched above your hips, you suddenly became hyper aware of your situation. You were still at work, in a file room, door unlocked.

"Someone could walk in," you gasped, trying to convince yourself that you didn't want this. He ignored you, trailing his fingers down your hips and legs instead. "We've already been gone for a while. What if someone comes looking?" You desperately tried to focus your wandering mind.

"I guess I should hurry then," he sneered, shooting you a glare. Then his fingers were sliding between your legs, making you close your eyes and sigh as they eased the ache in your clit. By that point you were too far gone to even feel embarrassed about having soaked through your panties. Jungkook hissed as your slick coated his digits. "I put the bar in hell, but still, you get so wet for me," he snapped, adding more pressure. For the first time all day, you had nothing to quip back with. Your sweet silence was like music to his ears. Mindful of the time, Jungkook hooked his fingers in your underwear and pulled them down your legs. You knew there was no going back as you stepped out of them. Your knees felt weak as you watched him hastily shove them in his pocket. But before you could ask what he was planning on doing with them, he hooked a hand under your thigh, lifting your leg up and to the side. With your legs spread and your pussy staring him in the face, Jungkook was struggling to control himself. He wanted to tease you - make you beg and plead - but he didn't. Fuck. He couldn't; not when he felt like he'd lose his sanity if he didn't taste you right away.

Without wasting another second, his lips were pressed to you, the velvety heat of his mouth engulfing you as his tongue licked at your wetness. Your mouth was left agape as your hands buried into his hair, using the locks to keep yourself tethered. Jungkook groaned into your heat; he felt like he was getting drunk off of you. His fingers dug into your thighs as he hungrily lapped at your pussy. Your eyes rolled back and you let out a drawn out moan as his lips wrapped around your clit, creating the perfect amount of suction. You would've thought he was starved seeing the vigor with which he ate you out. He didn't stop, didn't pull away for a single breath - too consumed with the taste of you on his tongue. You were embarrassingly close already, struggling to contain your moans and whimpers. You bit your lip, trying to hold them in, but another particular harsh lick to your clit had you groaning Jungkook's name. Seeing you unravel so quickly only fueled Jungkook's appetite; the sound of his name on your lips going straight to his aching cock. All it took was him groaning into your cunt after that to send you over the edge. Your fingers yanked at his hair, desperately pulling him closer as you felt the white heat build up.

"Jungkook, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck," you cursed, voice whiny as you tried to keep quiet. "Gonna cum," you moaned right as you crashed over the edge. Jungkook felt you tense in his hold as you came on his tongue. He diligently lapped at your slit, sure to pay attention to your clit as well to help you ride out your orgasm. He slowed down as you came down from your high. Naturally, your legs tried to close together once his tongue became overstimulating. But Jungkook's hold was firm, keeping your legs apart. You tried to catch your breath, mind reeling from the mix of pleasure and pain flooding your senses.

"Jungkook... wait," is all you managed to get out. He ignored you again, picking up his pace despite your cringing.

"So fucking good," he growled against you, like he hated admitting it to himself. It felt weird hearing him compliment you after all the bickering and degrading earlier. Yet you couldn't deny that it boosted your ego seeing him so fucked out and angry. He pushed you further up against the cabinets, giving himself better access to you and delving his tongue into your dripping hole. And just like that, the sensitivity was replaced with a delicious pleasure once again.

"Please, wait..." you breathlessly pleaded. In contrast to the last orgasm, he was building this one up slowly. Unfortunately for you, that meant it felt twice as intense and you were getting increasingly worried about being caught.

"Thought you wanted to cum, sweetheart," he mocked. "That's why you're being such a bitch, right? Mad that I didn't make you cum last time?" he grit through his teeth. You cursed him under your breath, but were more focused on the feeling of his soft lips against. You finally looked down at him properly, ready to glare at him. But the second you saw his dark eyes staring up at you, the rest of his face buried between your legs, you lost your train of thought entirely. Then you saw his hand sprawled across your lower stomach while his thumb rubbed circles into your clit. Fuck, why was he so hot?

"What if we get caught?" you half-heartedly complained, trying to muffle your whimpers.

"They'll see what a fucking slut you are for me then," he grunted. You slapped a hand over your mouth when he picked up his pace, continuing to plunge his tongue in and out of you. "Keep your hands down," he demanded, pressing harder on your clit. "You're gonna keep moaning like that for me," he hissed, delving right back into the heat of your cunt. In that moment, all you heard was his demanding tone and your hands instinctively went back to his hair without a second thought. You whined, trying to keep your voice down as he slowly built up your pleasure.

"Good," he praised, his words muffled as he continued to eat you out. "I should make you scream, so that everyone knows that you, Y/n, are cumming on my tongue." His words were bitter but they turned you on more. You clearly had some problems. It didn't take very long after that to feel that white heat building up again. Jungkook could tell you were almost there, so he sped up the pace of his fingers and plunged his tongue deeper into you. "Including our boss," he rasped. And then you were cumming again; gripping tightly onto his hair and groaning his name once more.

"There you go," he coaxed, letting you ride his face. You hadn't realized, but at some point, your hips had started moving on their own. Seeing you with your eyes screwed shut and mouth hanging open, as you unraveled under his touch, only fueled Jungkook's hunger. When you started coming down, he finally pulled away; giving you a second of reprieve. That was until you looked down to see his blown out, dark eyes staring at you. His mouth and chin were covered in your juices and he looked ravenous. He quickly pulled off his suit jacket, wiping his face with the sleeve of his shirt, eyes never leaving yours. Your chest heaved; partly because you were still catching your breath, and partly because of how fucking hot Jungkook looked in the moment. His hands went right back to your thighs, pulling them apart once more.

"Wait, what're you doing?!" you asked, eyes going wide. "I can't cum again, please," you nearly cried. His fingers dug into your thighs as he watched you plead.

"You can and you will," he said firmly. "You know why?" He slid his fingers between your folds, gathering all the wetness that had pooled. "Because you fucking love my touch," he growled. Your already weak knees felt even weaker.

"You're so desperate for it; for my mouth, my fingers, my cock." Your legs threatened to buckle under you if it weren't for Jungkook's hand holding you up. "So desperate that you're being such a fucking brat," he spat. "Trying to piss me off. So, what? So that I'd finally touch you again?" he mocked. Your senses were overwhelmed and his words settled in a pit in your stomach. You felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes; whether it was because of his harsh words or the overstimulation of his fingers, you weren't sure. Just as you were about to retort, Jungkook slipped a slender finger into you which slid in smoothly with how wet you were. He let out a throaty groan, quickly slipping another finger into you and curling them upwards. You nearly doubled over as he pressed right into your g-spot.

"See how tuned your body is to me? I've barely done a thing and you're already a mess," he taunted. Seeing how flimsy your legs had gotten, he quickly threw the leg he was holding over his shoulder, getting even closer to you. His name left your lips in a whine, your body torn between pleasure and worry. "Well here, I'm giving you what you want." He punctuated his words by curling his fingers again, making you moan. "You wanna cum? I'll make you cum...over and over again, so you never forget how good I make you feel." And with that, he finally pulled his fingers out before slamming them back into you, setting a hard pace.

Your mind was left blank, so consumed with pleasure that you couldn't even think about staying quiet. Whimpers and moans shamelessly tumbled out of you as he filled you up so delightfully. Jungkook wasn't unaffected either. Feeling how warm and wet you were was driving him up the wall, numbing his own thoughts.

"So wet for me, fuck. My cock would slide right into you with how drenched you are," he thought out loud. He felt you tighten around his fingers, making him snarl and pick up his pace. "Filthy fucking cockslut. I can't wait to feel you tighten around me like that when I'm fucking all this brattiness out of you," he growled, voice low. You could only moan in response.

"Jungkook, s-slow down, please," you begged, knowing that you wouldn't be able to hold on much longer. Before you knew it, his free hand came down on your pussy, leaving a delicious sting spreading through you. A half yelp-half moan sound came out of you, making Jungkook scoff.

"You're gonna take what I give you, like a good little slut," he grunted. "What do you have to say now Y/n?" he asked, annoyance lacing his voice. "You're so convinced I'm fucking every woman and leaving them unsatisfied. Do you feel satisfied yet?" With his fingers pumping you, grazing your g-spot with every thrust, it was nearly impossible for you to form a coherent thought. When you didn't answer, he gave your pussy another smack, making you hiss.

"Answer me," he demanded, "How do you feel now Y/n?"

"F-feel good," is all you could come up with. Jungkook chuckled at your fucked out state.

"Who's making you feel good sweetheart?"

"You," you moaned, feeling yourself reach your climax again. "Oh my god. Jungkook, please...don't stop. Feels so good, I'm gonna-"

Jungkook's ego inflated as you finally found your words again, saying exactly what he wanted to hear. Hearing you beg for him almost made up for all the shit you'd put him through that day. Almost. You were creaming on his fingers before you could even finish your sentence, moaning his name way louder than you should.

"Now you're finally being a good girl," he praised, continuing to pump his fingers through your orgasm. "Fuck, you're getting so tight. Keep cumming on my fingers like that, yeah?" he groaned, imagining how good you would feel on his cock. Your orgasm was so powerful, you were cumming for what felt like an eternity. Jungkook didn't mind; continuing to work you through it. When it was finally over, your legs gave out. Jungkook quickly caught you as you collapsed, and he placed you down on his discarded jacket on the floor. You closed your eyes and waited for your heart rate to go back to normal. When you opened your eyes after a few moments, Jungkook was still kneeling in front of you. His gaze was trained on your still exposed cunt and he had slipped his soaked fingers into his mouth, tasting you all over again. You worried for second that he still wasn't done with you. He slowly dragged his glazed over eyes to meet your. You gulped at the voracious look on his face, your legs instinctively closing.

Meanwhile, Jungkook was battling with his own insatiable thoughts. He knew he couldn't forget about this, about you, about your pussy after this. As infuriating and insufferable you were, he couldn't deny how good you tasted and felt. And he sure as hell couldn't deny how hard you'd gotten him either. With his hormones surging through him, all he could think about was being inside you, in any way. He saw the look on your face and nearly scoffed. You fucked up his reputation and humiliated him all because you wanted to cum, and now you couldn't take it. He took a deep breath, forcing his thoughts away so he could be rational.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna make you cum again," he said. You scoffed, easing up a little with his reassurance. "You got what you wanted, right? Now maybe you'll keep your mouth shut." The high of your pleasure was wearing off and the weight of his words were hitting you. Did he really just think you were desperate for him? Had he forgotten how he was shamelessly flirting with that other girl right after leaving you in that bathroom? Reality finally caught up with you, and you realized how vulnerable you'd made yourself to him. If someone came in right now, the only person who'd be humiliated was you. Clearly, all of this was just a game to him; a way to shut you up. Jungkook was toying with you and you were letting him. A similar shame and hurt creeped across your skin as the night he'd left you in the bar bathroom. Part of you had started to feel bad about what you'd done earlier, but if Jungkook really was just using you, then you were still nowhere near even.

Without saying a word, you stood up, pulling your skirt back down. In the process, you remembered that he'd taken your underwear. But you'd have to talk to him to ask for them back, and the last thing you wanted to do was talk to him. You'd just have to clean up later and make it through the day without them. You straightened your clothes, trying to make them look as less wrinkly as possible, avoiding Jungkook's piercing gaze. When you finally felt like you looked presentable, that's when you looked at him. This time it was him that was left a mess. His hair was ruined by all the grabbing and pulling you'd done, and his collar was soaked with your juices. You looked at his jacket that you were not standing on, and sure enough, you'd left a wet spot and now heel marks on it too. It made you feel a little better, knowing that this time he'd have to fix himself up instead of you. You picked up his jacket with the toe of your shoe before kicking it over to him. You shot him a cold look.

"You're an asshole," you stated before walking out the door. Jungkook was left on the floor, even more frustrated. He'd felt more gratified after putting you in your place, but then what was that? You'd obviously enjoyed yourself, so what was the problem now? He groaned loudly. Despite his anger, the bulge in his pants was now aching. Everything about you was infuriating to him, so how did you have this much of an affect on him? His mind wandered back to how you felt in his hands and on his tongue. He growled as he palmed his crotch, slowly taking out his hard cock. He stroked himself harshly with the frustration you'd left him with. He quickly pulled out your panties from his pocket, unable to stop himself. His head rolled back and your name spilled past his lips along with low groans as he brought up the thin fabric to his face.

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Tag List: @myjungkookthighs @bemuas @junecat18 @exortedgoods @jahnaviii @jk97bam @itsmekylabear @blueberriesm @marvelbun @vantelover1306 @runariya @btstrology @diame93 @curse-of-art @minyoongi7016

[vivwritesfics]

Dads best friend

okay so @faithm120601 recently posted a fic with a social media au to go along with it so im doing the same (but the other way around) with Fernando Alonso

So, full fic to come later

Warnings: age gap relationship, lowkey taboo (ish) relationship

y/nl/n

liked by yourbff, fernandoalo_oficial, and 58 others

y/nl/n family vacay ☀☀

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yourbff gorgeous girlie

y/nl/n 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

yourbff was you know who there?

y/nl/n shush

fernandoalo_oficial

liked by y/nl/n, astonmartinf1, and 363,812 others

view all 839 comments

username1 did anybody else hope we'd see more daddylonso pictures?

username2 aw i love fernando's annual trip with the l/n family

y/nl/n

liked by yourbff, fernandoalo_oficial, and 66 others

y/nl/n post vacay vibes

fernandoalo_oficial do you still want me to get you lunch

y/nl/n yes mr alonso sorry mr alonso sir

f1girlienews

liked by username3, username4, and 683 others

f1girlienews one of our followers got accepted on instagram by y/nl/n and, it turns out she and alonso are friends... good friends. From what we can find she's the daughter of [yourdadsname], Alonso's long time friend

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username5 omg isn't she in her 20's?

username6 omg isn't she a consenting adult

username7 omg hasn't he known her since she was a child?

username8 omg haven't you seen the interview her dad did two years ago where he said she met Fernando for the first time?

y/nl/n

liked by yourbff, fernandoalo_oficial, and 75 others

y/nl/n he lets me drive his car

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yourbff im the best passenger princess

y/nl/n yes you are

fernandoalo_oficial please stop getting starbucks in my car

y/nl/n never

fernandoalo_oficial

liked by y/nl/n, astonmartinf1, and 301,928 others

fernandoalo_oficial she's a fan

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username9 omg soft launch

username10 omg soft launch

username11 omg soft launch

username12 omg soft launch

username13 ew this is gross

username14 what's the age gap again?

username15 idk but this is gross

y/nl/n

liked by yourbff, and 66 others

y/nl/n hiding away

f1fan9919 no nando pic?

y/nl/n

liked by yourbff, and 70 others

y/nl/n can all f1 fans (kindly) fuck off

comments have been disabled

fernandoalo_oficial

liked by lance_stroll, astonmartinf1, and 419,629 others

fernandoalo_oficial 🍾🏁🏎

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username16 wheres y/n?

username17 did they break up? She's blocked all f1 fans on her instagram username18 were they ever actually together or are they just friends? username19 i miss her liked by fernandoalo_oficial username20 she was too young for him anyway

y/nl/n unfollowed fernandoalo_oficial

fernandoalo_official unfollowed y/nl/n

[titaswrld]

gryffindor characters modern! AU

according to me….

description: silly modern! AU head canons of the main gryffindor characters :)

pairing: harry, ron, fred, george, ginny and hermione x reader

contains: mentions of substances, alcohol and weed. mentions sexual acts (i think…)

|an: bored and decided i’d made something a little silly. literally just my thoughts lolll don’t take this too seriously

modern AU! harry potter who…

— definitely has a flip phone and refuses to be on any form of social media bc he thinks it’s awful for you

— i think being around his friends who do have social media would give him the spiel on most things tho

— oh he loveeesss house of dragon omg

— only listens to 70s 80s 90s music and some jazz tbh

— i feel like he’s just very old fashioned and he’s happy that way

— such a loving and caring bf since he’s hardly ever even touched the internet he’s pure lol

— def a lil goofball he’d say a little slang term the twins taught him and repeat it back to you…”harry who taught you that…”

— don’t ask him to do no substances i think he’d be kinda against them..not a smoker…occasional drinker.

modern AU! ron weasley who…

— is a stoner! thru and thru. i think he’s a bong rip typa fellow but a blunt or a joint would do it too. doesn’t strike me as a cart of eddie guy.

— big female rap supporter imo…def into latto and maybe dabbles into some meg that’s his girlll lol

— definitely a twea/seltzer guy oml cannot take shots is my hc

— heavy on the lowk himbo boyfriend

— not stupid at all but not super street smart i fear, more of a book smart type of guy.

— super cute and adorable bf overall, he’s a big boy. for sure.

—armmmmssss…. gymrat imo he loves to blow off steam at the gym

—i feel like isn’t a social media person as well…has an insta but doesn’t post on it nor have a lot of followers..no tiktok maybe twitter

—luv him but he was def on drakes side of the beef…definitely a champagne papi

—kinda a video game nerd imo but he’s definitely into the sports ones like FIFA

— buys you n him the crumbl cookie lineup every week and you review them tg in the car pretending to be those tiktok crumbl reviewers😭🫶 (he’s so cute)

modern AU! hermione granger who…

— is 100% on booktok

— do not ask her about the summer i turned pretty or bridgerton unless you wanna listen to her talk for hours.

— don’t play with her and noah kahan…

—or taylor swift

— or chappell roan..

—she’ll have a cute little mixed drink or perhaps a seltzer but do not give this girl no shots she don’t want none!

— her and colleen hoover….

— brings her digital camera everywhere and is most def the camera girl friend….”hermione pls send me the pics from last night”

modern AU! ginny weasley who...

— does not play about female wnba players at all.

— don’t even mention paige bueckers…that’s her girl.

— is a party animal just like her brother.

— loves her chappell roan too.

— always on social media u cannot get this girl off her phone. she’s like an ipad kid u couldn’t rip it out of her cold head hands.

— such a good girlfriend, definitely so protective over her s/o, especially on social media.

— “ginny why’d you respond to every comment under my post complimenting me with ‘& she/he mine..so’…”

modern AU! fred weasley who…

— definitely asks u “english or spanish?”

—definitely goes to too many parties…like at a function every weekend he loves the party scene.

—treats his girl RIGHTT i would compare the relationship to don toliver and kali uchis, flowers all the time, handsy. posting/supporting his girl allll the time

—“i❤️mygf” typa fellow, all his posts on socials are her! all his stories, his highlights and his posts.

— also a weed demon, doesn’t strike me as a beer or seltzer guy but ooooo that liqah….

— dress to impress demon. his gf definitely got him to play it and he got hooked and now he’s a fashion maven.

modern AU! george weasley who…

— is every girls dream man…im talking flowers, boo baskets, burr baskets, easter baskets, omg you say the word and he’s massaging your feet and feeding you grapes.

— always posting his girl just like his brother she’s on his absolutely everything and he has a highlight for her.

— type of guy to post those tiktoks of his girl on his account appreciating her all the time and the comments are like “omg on his account too!” and it’s so cute and adorable.

—isn’t much of a party guy like his brother…will go to a few but i feel like it’s not his thing at all and he’d rather be hanging out with friends instead of at a big function with strangers.

—literally the ken to your barbie and yes he took you to see the movie and yes he got into costume with you. and he did it happily.

— always hanging out with his girlfriend and wouldn’t want it any other way.

[campbell-rose]

Alastor Redesign

Omg there’s like over 70 people following me – guys I'm o///O flattered and flabbergasted. 

Anyway, onto today’s main event, Alastor. I hate Alastor’s og design, I hate his twig waist and his shoulder pads and the way you can’t see his antlers next to his ears, and his bow tie ugh viv please and his HAIR what even is that??? Not even mentioning that nothing about his design is really like a focal point. There’s no one thing that’s particularly interesting. At least before this he had that cathedral window looking cross on his undershirt that I found interesting. Nothing about his says he’s from the 1930’s other than dialogue. 

I wanted him to be in greyscale because that’s the coolest aesthetic, and colored photos weren’t a thing until way after the 30s. Recently I saw jjk, and Jogo’s teeth threw me because at some points I thought he was just straight up toothless. But then when I started this design, that colored tooth look spoke to me. Initially his teeth were yellow to look gross like he never brushes them, but then I was like ‘ayo wait, he’s literally a cannibal’, thus his vibrant red teeth to really pop against his greyscale. Initially his undershirt was white, but I feel like that was too much contrast and white is typically innocence, so by instead having a deep red it shows he’s just straight up bloodthirsty underneath his formal appearance. I also considered it being black, but then he looked like a pastor, and I wasn’t too much of a fan of it. The idea of the red on his design is that it leads your eye down his design to take it all in, with his face being the focus. I gave him glasses because I like the way it obscures his eyes a bit and I imagine they do the anime thing where they glow and hide his eyes. I liked Viv’s idea of sinners having marks where they died, and I slicked his hair back to show it off very prominently. His antlers are larger, I gave him cute lil deer ears. Also, under his suit he is lowkey buff. I feel like a serial killer should at least look physically capable of taking someone down not whatever the fuck viv’s nasty twig men can do. Like, in that comic with the cute sheep girl, when Alastor goes demon mode his body looks so snappable I just wanna like grab his waist in my hands and break it like a twig. I also tried to keep his design simple as if this were for animation, I know pinstripes are complicated and so are antlers but other than that I tried to keep his design basic. 

If I were to rewrite him based solely on the pilot, I honestly wouldn’t change a thing. Alastor is a decent character, his voice actor gives him life, the radio filter is cool, and nothing he did made me want to break my screen (ANGELDUST). The only thing I'd change would be his position in hell. Like, viv’s hell is so wack and I hate it, she’s got the princes, then the goetia and the overlords and then sinners and blah blah, it’s a lot to keep track of, not even mentioning the rings and circles thing. I think Alastor should have had dealings with hell as a human, maybe he routinely did sacrifices or something, and he made a deal with the archdemon Alastor and when he died like... uuhhhhhhh. Maybe through connections he’s gained more power? Idk, I just know I hate the idea of his dying and then having like the bestest most powerful demon powers despite not being hellborn. It’s got this mary sue stench. I’ll figure it out, maybe, who knows. 

I’m not gonna start rewriting since there’s nothing to go off of and alter yet, so that’s gonna have to wait until the show actually drops before anything concrete happens lol. 

Also the sheep girl is a sinner that reoccurs in the show now so sorry I don’t make the rules, you can’t give me a cute sheep girl and try to take her away, I’m gonna redesign her and shove her into the plot as someone looking for redemption at the hotel

[greml1nb0i]

THE HAZBIN LEAKS SHOW THAT S2 WILL ONLY GET WORSE: Characters

OK so my first gripe,

Emily's song is ear bleedingly annoying. Idk who her VA is but omg, idk if she's tone deaf or if they just have her mouth directly into the mic but my gods woman. STEP BACK you are assaulting my brain with these nonstop high sopranos.

Also the literal shot of Sir P trying to kill himself cuz of how either how annoying Emily is being or the fact he misses his friend, regardless it was a WILD fucking scene to show. Suicide isn't off the table for Viv's jokes, i guess.

Speaking of Sir P, his reason for being in Hell is so fucking stupid.

How tf is being scared of Jack The Ripper a sin?! His sin is just being scared of being murdered if he spoke out.

THAT'S JUST NORMAL HUMAN BEHAVIOR, WHAT?!

I hate to break it to you Viv, but not everyone is going to act like a macho hero when they see a damned murder!! Most people fucking run and hide! Why? CUZ THEY DONT WANNA DIE! They don't want to be targeted if shit goes south.

Also what is the thought process here in making his sin being just "cowardice"?? Viv are you trying to say that people who have most def been in Sir P's shoes, [witnessing a murder] are cowards that deserve to go to hell?? What's the motive here? Am i missing something?? Is being too afraid to be murdered, a sin??

Also apparently he was sent to Heaven for "saving Cherri Bomb"

save her from what?

Last i checked, in the final ep; he just kisses her as she's about to through a bomb and then says "i love you, remember me" only to have one of the most anti climatic "deaths" in the show. She wasnt even being attacked or threatened in anyway. So where tf does the plot point of "i saved her" come in??

Also can we talk about these fuck-ass human designs for Sir P and Alastor??

I don't mind Sir P's as much as i hate Alastor's. Its the fact Viv doesnt know wtf she's doing when she makes these designs.

Sir P just looks like a generic guy. One look at him and you cannot tell what time period he's from, same goes for Alastor. They could easily be frickin neighbors in the early or late 90s but no, they're supposedly from different timelines.

Alastor iirc is from the 1940-50s, and Sir P is from the 1800s, [Jack the rippers final kill was 1863-1888]

Why, Viv, cant you do any research for the time periods YOUR characters come from??

Why do they both look like cartoon barbers; not a radio show host and not a genius inventor?? Like did you even look at the differences in fashion and culture for any of these characters?!

Men fashion from the late 1800s looked like this:

This is [white] Men's fashion in the 1940-1950s:

See Viv, their fashion styles are different and shouldn't look the same at all. Why does every character have pinstripes, if it doesnt even reflect that time period in an authentic way??

And to add a cherry on top, this is what African American men would wear in Alastor's time period:

Do you see the difference in styles Viv?

Black men were not given the same nice everyday casual wear that white men did. They often wore hand-me-downs or had to work their asses off to just afford 1 nice looking suit.

you wanna know why?? Cuz Viv, the Jim Crow laws were still in full affect til the late 60s and early 70s. They were not seen as people, black men and women were still heavily discriminated against and were even still being victims of-

[MAJOR TW FOR RACISIT STUFF]

lynching's. Alastor would feel lucky, he only got mistaken for a deer and shot; he could have, and probably did, go through much much worse in his actually living life.

Tell me you didn't do any research for your characters without telling me you didn't do any research for your characters.

TLDR; So not only is Viv using more gross jokes in her next season, but the character designs have gotten even worse.

Lmk what you want the next topic to be about, if i missed anything you would've liked mentioned here, lmk in comments or asks and i'll reply. I reply to everyone as long as you arent being a jerk.

EDIT:

I've been made away that Alastor didn't in fact live in the 1940s and 50s but the 1930s. i will say most of my points still stand, but here the men's fashion for his time period.

also that makes his radio show even more of an impossible achievement, in the 1930s majority, if not, half of the black men in America were out of work cuz of racism, discrimination and segregation, ya know, cuz the Jim Crow. White people called for African Americans to be fired from any jobs as long as there were whites out of work. Racial violence again became more common, especially in the South.

Tell me again Viv, how tf did Alastor even thrive??

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Julie Andrews (The Sound of Music, Mary Poppins)—Oh where to start .... I'm not sure I even know how. She's just perfection. And it's not fair I can't bring post 70s work into this, because she just gets better and better, and her drag performance in to die for. But in the era I CAN talk about, she shows she has THE RANGE. Beautiful, feisty, funny, holding her own against Christopher Plummer, Paul Newman, Rock Hudson. Oh she's luminous.

Nadira (Shree 420, Dil Apna Aur Preet Parai)— She had a blast playing the femme fatal in Indian films in the 50s. Also the costumes she wore in Shree 420 are absolutely iconic. It's important to mention that she was Jewish. She was born Farhad "Florence" Ezekiel in Baghdad to an Iraqi Jewish family. They moved to India sometime in the 1940s. The funny thing is that she originally wanted to convert to Catholicism and become a nun but joined the film industry instead as her family desperately needed money. Even though she was unfortunately typecast in femme fatale roles after playing the nightclub entertainer Maya in Shree 420, she always gave 110% to every role she was cast in. Apparently she acted in a German film as well? She was also one of the most highly paid actresses in the Indian film industry and was one of the few Indians to own a Rolls Royce.

This is round 3 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Julie Andrews propaganda:

"She has such a simple but amazing beauty to her. Not to mention her amazing and melodic singing voice!"

"Roles like nannies and governesses can make us forget how attractive she was! A perfect combination of elegant and adorable, with the most incredible vocal range to boot!"

"Besides having one of the most amazing singing voices ever to grace the silver screen, Julie always had an understated beauty to her that wasn't always shown off on screen. But it's there nonetheless because her characters managed to pull some of the hottest men ever to grace the screen."

"The juxtaposition between carefree Maria and stern but fun Mary Poppins shows the power of the acting of this HOT VINTAGE MOVIE WOMAN"

"Charming, genteel, incredibly charismatic, beautiful, and has an angelic singing voice to boot. Her screen roles as Maria in The Sound of Music and Mary Poppins are absolutely iconic for a reason and she originated several well-known Broadway roles before those."

"the most beautiful woman 12 year old me had ever seen possibly"

"OMG OMG OMG she’s definitely been submitted before how could she NOT but!!!! I loveeee her so muchhhh rahhhh prebby!!!! cool!!!! mary poppins the beloved <33333 some people dislike it but I love jolly holiday so much because it IS a jolly holiday with Mary!!! no wonder that it’s Mary that we love!!!!!"

"I know many people who were taught in singing lessons "when in doubt, pronounce words how julie andrews would pronounce them." THATS CALLED INFLUENCE. THATS CALLED MOTHERING THOUSANDS."

Nadira:

I just submitted a whole list of golden-era Bollywood stars without whom I thought this tournament could not conscionably be considered complete BUT Nadira has got my personal vote for Hottest of the lot. She played a bunch of delicious vamp roles in her youth before graduating to being a creepy spiderlady antagonist type in middle/older age. Rare is the still in which she looks like she's NOT about to gnaw your face off. Yow!

[lowkeyrobin]

mcyt with an s/o that's insanely good at driving?? like in the video with Schlatt and he was just doing donuts and that stuff but it's reader? almost like it's stuff from a freaking action movie with how they drive lmao

OH FUCK YEAH LMFAOOOO yes this is how my mom drives but she's a serious road rager too 💀💀💀💀 this is more like "You're a good shitty driver but yeah 👍"

MCYT ; insane driving skills

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, quackity, & foolish gamers

warnings ; language, talk about car accidents, talk about death due to car accidents

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

genuinley refuses to sit in a car when you're driving

yk the vlog where he, jack, tubbo and becky go see the alien rocks? you offered to drive and he screamed no

honestly you understood, your a bit of a road rager

and that one vlog you guys made together where you show off your NASCAR level driving really doubted his trust in you

it's half jokes half serious tho

has genuinley said you should become an F1 driver 💀

he's just afraid of you yelling at other shit drivers LMFAO

will genuinley scream when you do donuts in an empty field

"I wish we had rollercoasters closer to us"

"we've got one right here"

the fact you haven't crashed and killed both of you is astounding to him

literally how'd you get your license

RANBOO

loves going out in fields with you to do donuts and be a little dangerous

"more donuts!"

"how are you not about to puke!?"

you rented a golf cart one a vacation to a little beach town for the Misfits Gaming channel and holy shit

the amount of wheelies?? he's surprised you didn't get arrested

you drive like you're driving a monster truck like please calm down

he genuinley compares you to schlatt when driving and you're just like "Yeah because we're cool. cool people are insanely good at driving"

they blink and stare before saying "I don't think good is the word I'd use"

you'll deadass slam on the breaks going at max 10mph just to piss him off

they're actually confused as to how you aren't on your fifth car already, you drive like a sicko

you do a racing vlog with some friends and safe to say you won

"You should be an F1 driver or something"

"What"

FREDDIE BADLINU

you terrify him a bit

"y/n, do you know how to do wheelies?"

"get in the golf cart"

"holy shit!"

thinks it's pretty badass that you know a bunch of tricks and stuff

he doesn't endorse bad driving on the road though

you do your best to behave around him because you don't wanna get yelled at 🤞

"oh my god why are these fucking semis in the passing lane?? I don't wanna get Final Destination-ed!"

"this is surprising for me to say but same"

"please, i just wanna eatttt, go faster and actually pass someone!"

but when you're purposefully fucking around yourselves he'll literally smile and laugh when you go over bumps and do donuts lmao

he'll probably record it and send videos to Tommy, Jack, Bill & Harry

tweets like "my partner is a crazy driver pls help" and "YEAHHH LETS CRASH THE CAR TODAY" are to be expected

also jokes about you being a NASCAR driver because the way you swerve through traffic 💀💀💀

NIKI NIHACHU

look, she loves you but calm down

she will admit that she likes doing donuts and tricks in an empty area but lord

the swerving through traffic? the usual 70-80 mph? no thanks

you do try and drive like a normal person when she's with you tho

one of her favorite memories is you driving one of those kiddie cars, with both of you in it, and doing very muddy donuts with it 💀

yk how moistcritikals dad hotwired a kiddie car to make it go faster? yeah that's the explanation to how it even happened

you guys were soaked in mud after LMFAO

she likes when you rev your engine in tunnels, the way it echoes is so cool to her

like she giggles and shit and like 🫶🫶

"I love when I fly down the highway to see my gf"

"OMG SLOW DOWN WHAT?"

"ppl r complaining about me on Facebook so I think I will.."

"Y/N OH MY GOD"

ALEX QUACKITY

again, kiddie car wheelies 🔛🔝

he loves doing fucking donuts and shit with you LMAO

if you, him, schlatt and charlie r meeting up irl, you guys make a whole vlog out of it

you rent two sports cars and literally make a mini action movie (obviously with comedy) (basically a better fast & furious) (quackity is better than vin diesel)

when I tell you that shit got 16 MILLION VIEWS. the edits after that were astronomical

so many clips of the cars in tunnels, on bridges, speeding down the highway, etc

you're respectful for others around you but you have a need for speed

although if you're doing it on a golf cart or anything open, he's wearing a helmet

he's running a whole business, he can't risk dying to your shit driving atm LMAO

makes some merch, basically a racer jacket that's black and your favorite color or black and dark blue (variants)

they say 'quackity racing team' or 'y/u/n racing team' with some sewn in patches, like the quackity poker chip and whatever goes best with your brand

they're cool as hell too LMAO

FOOLISH GAMERS

he does the little giggle and shit it's adorable

loves doing dumb shit with you

you obv don't do it with a bunch of people around or anything but yk

you, him, karl, punz and tina met up and you had all of them piled in the car while you did donuts and shit

foolish had a vlog cam set up on the dash and the amount of screaming and the reactions 😭😭 /pos

genuinley confused how you've never wrecked your car before

and no the one time you backed into a mailbox doesn't count

revving the engine through tunnels>>>>

he always smiles at it even if he's tired or kinda miserable

will pretend he's in an action movie if you're swerving around people a bit or going really fast

he'll load up the finger guns and get ready to aim LMFAO

gta irl with him basically

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

READ 70 PAGES OF THE GOOD OMENS BOOK WITH WHICH I HAVE HOMOEROTIC TENSION AS WE KNOW

WE ALL KNOW ABOUT THE HOMOEROTIC RIVALRY BETWEEN ME AND MY COPY OF THE GOOD OMENS BOOK. WE KNOW. IT STARES AT ME, I STARE BACK, IT DARES ME TO READ IT AND FALL IN LOVE WITH CROWLEY MORE, I REFUSE. WE PUT THE UST IN LUST ETC.

BUT TODAY/YESTERDAY (RIP SLEEP SCHEDULE) SINCE I WASNT ON TUMBLR, I READ TILL PAGE 70 OF THE BOOK (TILL THE PART CALLED WEDNESDAY) AND GOD FUCKING DAMN. I READ IT LISTENING TO AN AZIRAPHALE BOOKSHOP AMBIENCE AND WITH CHOPIN PLAYING AND CANDLES LIT. ANYWAY. THINGS THAT HAVE STUCK OUT TO ME:

Crowley. Just everything about Crowley. God I love him. I fucking love him. This is why I avoid reading the book. I'm such a slut for Crowley. It's manageable on the show when I know it's an actor. But WORDS CROWLEY? WORDS CROWLEY IS REAL. I AM SO IN LOVE.

Aziraphale has perfectly manicured hands. I'm pretty sure this has been mentioned three times in the first 70 pages. Three times at minimum. I forget how twink he is in the show (idk how) but man the book does NOT let you forget and I love that.

Crowley absent-mindedly sank a duck. Aziraphale called him my dear (fanfic authors everywhere: write that down write that motherfucking shit down it's better than porn). Crowley un-sunk the duck. The duck was cross.

CROWLEY DID I MENTIONED CROWLEY OH MY BABY FANCIED THE JAMES BOND DECALS HE WANTED TO LISTEN TO VIVALDI COZ THEY WERE SO STRESSED AFTER RECEIVING THE ANTICHRIST THEY LOVE GOLDEN GIRLS (I LOOKED IT UP AND OH CROWLEY) THEY DRANK FOR A WEEK AFTER SEEING THE SPANISH INQUISITION THEY OMG.

THE DRUNK SCENE. I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD THE DOLPHINS CONVERSATION. OMG THESE TWO FUCKING FOOLS I ADORE THEM.

Crowley IN THAT SCENE AND AZIRAPHALE IN THAT SCENE HOLY SHIT. CROWLEY JUST LISTING OFF ALL THE THINGS SHE KNOWS AZIRAPHALE LOVES.

AND OMG. The CONVOLUTED FUCKING METAPHOR CROWLEY COMES UP WITH INVOLVING A LITTLE BIRD FLYING TO THE ENDS OF THE UNIVERSE AND PECKING A MOUNTAIN AND COMING BACK AND DOING IT ON LOOP. FOR WHAT? JUST TO SAY THAT WHEN THE MOUNTAIN WAS GONE, HEAVEN WOULD STILL BE PLAYING THE SOUND OF MUSIC.

As usual just like me Crowley shot himself in the foot with that metaphor. Because AZIRAPHALE, THE LEGEND, STARTS SAYING THE BIRD MUST BE IMMORTAL FOR THAT, AND THEN SAYS NO ACTUALLY THE BIRD IS BEING CARRIED IN A SPACESHIP AND THE DESCENDANTS EMERGE FROM THE SPACESHIP and poor crowley is saying SO THE BIRD REACHES THE MOUNTAIN and azi excitedly says IN THE SPACESHIP and AAAAAAAAA-

Anyway right yes sorry what were we doing oh right the book.

Anathema is so adorable as a kid what a little brat holy shit I love her. I want to see all her homework written in Middle English. I want to know which teacher finally summoned the balls to correct it.

NEWT MON CHERI HE'S SO EXCITED ABOUT ONLY DESTROYING THE HOUSE'S POWER CIRCUIT WITH HIS EXPERIMENT. Because apparently last time he fucking caused a power outage in the whole block. Or county. We stan an optimist (no one talk to me about Crowley being an optimist I will go feral and rip your larynx out).

THE THIRD BABY DID NOT WIN PRIZES FOR TROPICAL FISH. THIS IS LIKE THE ENDING OF VILETTE WHEN CHARLOTTE BRONTE GOT GUILTTRIPPED BY HER DAD INTO WRITING IT AS AN OPEN ENDING BUT WE ALL KNOW IT'S A TRAGEDY FUCK ME.

CROWLEY THE PRAY THAT HE DOESN'T IT SOUNDS SO SUAVE IN THE SHOW BUT IN THE BOOK IT LITERALLY SAYS "AND FLEES". THE CHAOTIC ANXIOUS MOTHERFUCKER MAKES A RUN FOR IT.

AZIRAPHALE FUCKING GLOWERING AT CUSTOMERS AND SCARING THEM AWAY USING EVERY MEANS SHORT OF PHYSICAL VIOLENCE IM DEAD THAT LITTLE BASTARD PEAK CROSS INTROVERT ELDRITCH MONSTER ENERGY.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR ADAM TO ENTER (WELL AS A NOT BABY) AHAH.

I HOPE WARLOCK IS OKAY.

CROWLEY BEING DESCRIBED AS A YOUNG MAN DOES THINGS TO ME. AS DO THE DARK HAIR AND GOOD CHEEKBONES. DON'T EVEN TALK ABOUT DOING WEIRD THINGS WITH HIS TONGUE. I AM A SLUT FOR HER. IT'S TIMES LIKE THIS I REMEMBER WHY IM GREYACE AND NOT ENTIRELY ASEXUAL. IT'S CROWLEY.

I LOVE THE SUBTLE JOKES LIKE I DON'T EVEN GET SOME BUT THE DRY TONE IS HILARIOUS. LIKE HOW BOTH WARLOCK'S HEAVENLY AND HELLISH TUTORS READ FROM THE BOOK OF REVELATION. AND THE CUTTING COMMENTARY LIKE HOW THE DOWLINGS' SECRET AGENTS WERE TRAINED TO REACT TO WOMEN IN LONG ROBES. OR THE POLITICAL COMEDY WITH ALL THE CULTURAL ATTACHES AT ST JAMES. IT MAKES ME AMUSED EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NO CONTEXT. I WISH I UNDERSTOOD THEM MORE.

SORRY WHY AM I YELLING ABOUT THIS BEFORE 6 IN THE MORNING FUCK I FORGOT MY SLEEP MEDS NO WONDER IM STILL AWAKE AND HYPER ALSO CROWLEY ALSO AZI ALSO ADAM I HOPE MY LITTLE PLANTS MAKE IT.

WHEN IM DONE READING THE BOOK I WANNA REREAD IT OUT LOUD TO MY THREE LITTLE PLANTS TO MAKE THEM GROW HAPPY AND KNOW WHOM THEY WERE NAMED AFTER.

[mooodyblue]

hello Angel! I’m not sure if you remember me or not but I used to be Prayerstopresley on here a good while ago!! : D I was wondering if you could write a cutesy little one shot with BDE and a pregnant reader who is struggling to paint her toenails so he decides to do it for her? I just thought it would be a cute idea!! Thank you!!

wc: 804

pairing: pregnant!reader x 70s!elvis

warnings: none

a/n: oh my goodness i do absolutely remember you!!! i always wondered where you had went!! happy to see you back omg!!!!!! this was such a cute lil request, thank you! <3

masterlist directory

elvis was incredibly protective of you while you were pregnant. the moment you came back from the doctor and told him about that little baby in your belly he swore to you he’d never let a single person put a hand on you. no going out, no going to his shows, you were to stay inside of graceland until that child was born. 

oh, but you begged and begged and begged. he took you out occasionally—he had someone drive you to your appointments. 

he finished up another long run at the international which called for a couple of weeks in hawaii. you were 28 weeks, truly feeling the real aches and annoyances of being pregnant. elvis thought you were the cutest little thing ever. he gave your bump gentle kisses every day that he was home, sometimes sang or pressed his ear against it. but now he had a bit of a break, finally getting some time with just you and his unborn child. 

you had to buy new clothes for the trip—nothing was fitting you at this point. elvis was more than happy to buy you a whole new wardrobe, which you thought was a bit excessive, but you could never stop elvis from doing anything no matter how much you tried. 

you were packed, ready to leave the next day. however, you were in desperate need of a pedicure. the fingernails were already done, looking pretty as ever. toenails? horrendous. you couldn't even see them. did you even have toes anymore? so, you decided to take matters into your own hand and work on them yourself. 

an array of nail products sat on your vanity. it was too dangerous to attempt on the bed or downstairs, the last thing you wanted to do was get red nail polish on the white carpet.

a sigh left your lips as you propped your foot against the vanity with a grunt, opening the tiny bottle of red nail polish. you tapped off the access liquid and reached forward, trying to reach one of your toes—failing miserably. you grumbled under your breath, trying to do it again. “new position.” you mumbled, standing up instead and propping your foot on the chair. you bent down the best you could….but it just wasn’t working.

position after position, nothing worked and you wanted to give up. a bundle of frustration finally hit you. you sat on the edge of the bed, sniffling and wiping your eyes with the back of your hand as you looked at the unpainted toes. you felt so disgusted with yourself.

“baby, i was thinkin—” elvis spoke, wandering into the bedroom. the teary eyes and sad look on your face stopped his thoughts, looking at you worriedly. “what’s goin’ on? is it the baby? did something happen?” he asked, furrowing his brows.

you shook your head, gesturing to your feet. “‘m too big.” you mumbled again, “can’t paint my toes.” 

then, elvis laughed. 

you frowned at him, feeling more tears begin to pool once again. elvis got himself together and shook his head, “baby…baby, i’m sorry. it–it ain’t funny, i know.” he said, walking over to you and getting on his knees. he placed a hand on one of your knees, “i know you’re hurtin’. you’re doin’ one hell of a job, mama. lemme do it.”

“you’ve never painted nails before.” you sniffled, “just leave ‘em be.”

“nuh-uh.” he picked up the bottle of nail polish and scootched himself to your feet. “if we’re havin’ ourselves a baby girl, i gotta learn one day, don’t i?” he asked with a grin.

that sentence alone made you chuckle, feeling your mood begin to brighten up. “please don’t mess ‘em up.” you begged.

he chuckled and propped a foot up against his knee, getting to work. “c’mon, satnin. have some faith in ol’ elvis, would ya?” 

occasionally he’d rub at your ankles or calves if you got a cramp from being in the same position for too long. they chatted about names and all baby things as he painted her toenails, making sure to be extra careful not to get any polish on the sides. you loved how his brows furrowed when he was super focused on the task at hand.

once he finished up, he looked proudly at your toes with a grin. “look at those lil’ sooties.” he said, “tell me i did a good job, honey. don’t they look nice?”

you sat up a bit to get a look at them from the angle you were in, taken back by how good of a job he did. “wow.’ you admired them a bit more, nodding approvingly. “might have to ask for your help more often.”

he smiled and leaned forward to peck at your bump and at your lips, “anything for my babies.”

[ultralightpoe]

Full House lll - Eddie Munson

Authors Note: Omg. Me? Staying on schedule? Never.

Word Count: 10112

Warnings: None? Idk.

Part One HERE and Part Two HERE

(Thank you for the gif @psychecreations )

Enjoy!

“When’s the first doctors appointment?” Nancy asks, walking up to where you were currently standing at your jobs wait station. You jump, dropping the order pad you had been scribbling in as you turn to find her leaning on the wall. 

“What? Why are you here?” 

“I was craving chicken and didn’t want to hear Steves kfc imitation. So we decided to come here.” She smiles, rubbing her stomach ever so slightly. “Plus it meant I got to check on you.” 

“Oh I’m fine.” You lie, forcing a smile on your face as she narrows her eyes. 

It’s been 4 days since the Christmas fiasco, and 4 days since you realized Eddie was leaving. You tried to pick yourself back up the day of Christmas but ended up telling everyone that you were really sick and should shut the party down early. They had all gone to Steves and you were truly embarrassed to think of what they might have been saying about you. 

God, did you have to ruin everything you touched? 

“You never answered my question.” 

“Oh? I was just sick. It’s not a serious bug or anything. I just didn’t want to get you guys sick on Christmas. That would have been bad” you lie again, feeling a coiling feeling in your gut. “Why don’t you go sit?” 

“Y/n, girl I love you. But you’re showing.” 

“Am not.” 

“Are too. Especially in this waitressing uniform.” It was true. Normally the old school 70s uniform fit you like a glove, falling just to your thighs and it made tips so much easier. Right now? It was on the tighter side…… which made tips even easier because your boobs looked great but you felt terrible about everything. 

“Does he know?” Nancy asks, and you have to stop yourself from telling her or shove off. After a moment of silence she seems to take that for an answer. “Y/n….. Eddie needs to know.” 

“Why? So I can trap someone else?” You laugh bitterly. “That poor guy has already put up with enough of my shit. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go grab tables.” 

You walk past her, not giving her a chance to argue as you completely avoid looking to their tables direction and move to your own section of the floor to greet a new table. 

Pam, one of your favorite regulars, sees you and greets you with a smile. “You never work Friday nights!” 

You always spent Friday nights with Eddie and the girls for movie night. But Eddie ran and you needed to make rent so tonight Max was watching them. 

“Starting now I will be. You want your usual babe?” 

“You know it!.” She giggles. 

-

Steve tried saying bye before they left and you pretended you didn’t see him as you took orders, by the end of the night your feet were killing you and you all but limped inside to where Max was sitting at the table doing college homework with her headphones on. 

Either she didn’t have them loud or she was on edge, your guess being a bit of both, she knows you're there and turns to you when you enter the kitchen. 

“Thank you so much Max.” You mumble, pulling out the tip money you had set aside for her. “I’m sorry I ran late.” 

“No need to pay.” She smiles, pushing the money away. “I like spending time with them.” 

That tight feeling in your stomach is back, digging in as you stare at the redhead. She had been part of the reason you chose Hawkins, Billy had (in one of his rare good moments) described the way Max seemed to blend in and find a home here. He told you about the friends she made and how she managed to grow into a brave person and you wanted that for your own. So, assuming she was gone, you moved out here. Little did you know you find her soon enough along with an entire group of people connected to your ex. 

You had always been told max was dead. 

Max had always been told Billy was dead. 

You didn’t know how she figured you out until Eddie told you about VECNA and Lucas told you about his girlfriends sight for things. 

“I…. I saw the tickets.” She admits, blush traveling her cheeks as you move to make a cup of tea. The cupboard was still broken and you couldn’t bear to look at it. 

“What tickets?” 

“You left your folder out on the table. I saw that you were figuring out where to go.” Max admits and you can’t help but tense. 

“I just….. I don’t want the girls being surrounded by…..” 

“Billy?” 

“Yes…..” you admit, still keeping your back to her as you boil water. “And Eddie. I just don’t want them knowing that he left them. They adore him too much.” 

Coward. Coward. COWARD. 

“I’m not a mom, but I can get your urge to protect them.” Max mumbles. “But what if they end up hating you for taking them away.” 

“Then they have someone to blame. I’d rather them blame me than themselves. It is my fault anyways.” You admit, tears springing into your eyes. “Anyways. Take the money, go have fun.” 

“Do you need me again this week? I saw that you work on New Year’s Eve.” 

“No. You should be going out with your friends.” 

“The boys have a start of the year campaign and El is taking a trip with Hopper. I’m free.” She laughs, trying to break the tension built up. “I’ll be here at 2.” 

You can’t get the words thank you out because of how tight your throat is, so you just mouth them as she grabs the money and passes. 

-

Steve could not stop laughing when he saw Eddie’s face the day he brought the car into the shop, leaning over on his knees to catch his breath as he wheezed out. 

Dylan, the other mechanic, kept looking over to watch the scene unfold as Eddie tried to focus on his friends car. 

“Harrington.” 

“Dude I know- it’s just that your face is so purp-hahaha.” Another fit of laughter and Eddie is debating throwing his drill at him. He was in no shape to be dealing with him today. 

Truth was Eddie had barely gotten a wink of sleep, he couldn’t manage to. Not used to not having you beside him, or not having the girls night light and soft lullabies. It had been 5 days since he saw you and he was beginning to lose his mind and resolve. 

Almost every night he nearly talked himself into going back, then he remembered Motleys broken cries as they carted him off and the way she clung to your hip. The way she screamed for her dad as Eddie attacked him. 

Monster monster monster. 

“Gotta give it to Hargrove. He knows how to punch.” 

“Yeah well, hope he had his fun.” Eddie snaps, leaning back to make sure he adjusted the part correctly. 

“Did you get him back?” 

“I got a few licks in.” Eddie mumbles, feeling guilty about the pride that washes over him as he remembers the way he beat Billy's face in. That was motleys dad. As much as he enjoyed hitting him he probably just scarred the Metalhead for life. 

“Oh a few licks.” Steve scoffs, moving to take a seat on the stool at Eddie’s workstation. “I know how strong you are Munson. You got more than a few licks in.” 

“I shouldn’t have.” 

“Why the hell not?” 

“Because Motley was right there! She’s gonna hate me forever.” Eddie scoffs. 

“Oh you mean more than they already do?” This pulls Eddie’s attention, he had been doing so good about not asking but he was dying to know. What had they said? Were they happy he’s gone? Mad that he fought Billy? 

“What’d they say?” 

“Not much of anything. Nancy knows something is up but your girl is keeping her lips sealed pretty well. I didn’t even know about your fight with jackass until I saw your face.” 

“But you said they were mad.” 

“Yeah man, you missed Christmas and just dipped. Leaves a bad impression.” 

“Oh whatever. They are better off, I just ruin everything.” 

“Oh. My. God.” Steve gasps, looking at Eddie like he’s figured everything out. “You’re self sabotaging!” 

“What?!”

“Yeah! You think you’re the bad guy and so you’re trying to run away which is just making you even more of a bad guy which means my wife can stop threatening to shave your head.” 

“I….. no man you don’t get it.” 

“I do get it. I get it more than anyone else and let me be the first to tell you that you’re being a massive idiot.” He sighs, standing up. “Motley was waiting by that window to spot you that entire day.” 

“S……she was?” 

“Yeah Munson. She was.” 

“I just….. I don’t want to be the one holding them back. I don’t want her to hate me.” 

“Did you ever think that maybe Motley chose you? Like you chose Wayne?” Steve asks, watching Eddie deflate before his eyes before turning to the car. “I’m not paying by the way. Consider my advice enough.” 

“Ass.” 

- 

Eddie spends the day of New Year’s Eve by the phone, fighting the urge to call. 

What would he say? How would he explain? 

No. Don’t call. This is for the better. 

Yes. Call. Just pick the phone just for the chance to hear your voice. 

God damn when did life get so complicated?

“What are you doing?” Wayne asks, watching eddie from his spot on the couch. “Quit wearing down my carpet.” 

The carpet has been worn down since Eddie had moved in, but he chooses not to comment instead he sits by the phone, keeping his pinky on the handle of the plastic and glaring at it. 

“You expecting a call?” 

“No.” Eddie groans, rubbing his chest to try and relieve some of the pain built up. God he missed you guys. “Fuck. I’m gonna go smoke.” 

He rushes to the back porch before Wayne could argue, hearing the old man laugh as he slams the door. 

There is a dog out there when he exits, chewing on a stick found from the trees and sitting right by the fence. Upon looking a little closer he sees that the dog actually seems caught under the fence, like he was trying to sneak in. 

“Jesus.” He murmurs, keeping the joint between his lips as he walks up, socked feet stepping on sticks and stones making him grunt out and try walking on his tippy toes. 

He looks back with a smile, expecting a giggle from one of the girls at his weird walk before he realizes he’s alone. Shit. 

The dog is panting patiently when Eddie comes up, and the man reaches a hand to let him sniff before moving to help. The dog chooses to kiss at his arm, tongue lapping at the skin as Eddie lifts the fence to try and help free him. 

“Why you sneaking in pal?” He grunts, bending the fence. “You hungry?” 

Within moments the dog is out, jumping up and kissing at his face for being rescued. “God. Motley would love you.” 

-

“Shhhhh Ziggy.” Motley whispers to her baby sister, pulling her closer to the corner. The way daddy eddie set up her room was perfect. 

He had put her bed in the center which left a small corner by her nightstand hidden from the door. 

Over the past week she had looked for Daddy Eddie’s number, finding it sprawled under the label emergency numbers where he had written it under Wayne. 

It was so weird that Daddy Eddie called his dad Uncle Wayne. Adults were so confusing. 

Before you had left for your shift that night you made sure to wish Motley a happy new year and made her promise to behave. Little did you know that she had crossed her fingers behind her back. 

The second you were gone she dashed to grab the closest phone, pulling it into her room and hiding it as Max struggled to cook nuggets for dinner. 

Later that night when Auntie Max was reading on the couch Motley tiptoed to Ziggys room before sneaking her sister out of her crib and tip toeing back as Ziggy giggles happily. 

“Sissy…” She giggles, pulling at Motleys cheeks happily. “Zigsy.” 

“No your Ziggy silly. I’m motley.” She corrects as she shuffles with her sister in an awkward half hold half walk carry until they are in the corner. “Okay Ziggy. Sissy needs your help. You remember the plan?” 

“Zigzy!” 

“Oh boy…..”

-

The phone rings late, and Eddie sits up in the couch to lean his upper body to answer it, stressed and annoyed. 

The stray dog lifts their head, huffing at being woken up and tilting to hear, one ear shooting up. “Easy Zeppelin.” 

The dog barks, and Eddie likes to think he enjoyed the name as he picks the phone up. “Munson residence.” 

God it felt weird saying that again.

“DADDY!” Motley whispers, sounding scared. Eddie is instantly up, standing on his feet and swiping at his face to wake up a little more. 

“Motley? What’s wrong baby?”

“Someone’s trying to get in daddy.” 

“Get in where? Where are you?” He’s already reaching for his keys, heart beating through his ears as his hands shake. 

“We’re at home.” She whines. 

“Where’s mommy?” 

“At work!” Fuck. “Okay. Okay. Just hide. Just like daddy told you, remember? If anything happens, hide. You know where Ziggy is?” 

“She’s with me.” 

“Good girl. Get under your bed or in your closet. I’ll be right there.” He mumbles, calling out to Wayne to grab the phone before booking it out of the trailer. 

He gives no time for the van to warm up, tearing out of the trailer park so quickly he’s sure he hit someone’s patio chair, mumbling under his breath a panicked “fuckfuckfuck” 

-

The van is uneven as Eddie pulls in quickly, shifting gears to park so hard it makes a grinding sound before he is swinging the door open and tearing out. His feet hit the gravel before the grass as he rushes to the front door, using his shoulder to shove it open harshly. 

A scream tears out in to the air at his entrance before a book is thrown at him which makes him yell out at whoever is in the house. 

“EDDIE?!” 

“MAXINE?!” He snaps, blinking at her. “What the fuck you doing?” 

“What am I doing?! What are you doing?! You physco!”

“Motley said that someone was trying to break in!” 

“I put Motley to bed an hour ago.” Max grunts, confusion lacing her features. 

“You’re babysitting?” 

“Obviously.” 

“But her car is in the front.”  Eddie felt like he was going crazy. “And since when does she work nights?!” 

“Her car wouldn’t start so she took the bus today.” Max sighs, rolling her eyes. “And she needs extra cash. Probably for the plane tickets to get out of here.”

“Tickets out of….” Before Eddie can process her words any further there is a small pair of eyes looking around the corner drawing his attention. 

Ziggy moves quickly, coming around the corner with a very excited giggle, walking to him as fast as her little feet would allow. “Da-Ed-ay!”

“Hey there baby girl.” He smiles, picking her up and swooping her into his arms to kiss all over her face. It was odd, just how much he missed this and it seemed like she had gotten so much bigger in the 4 days he missed. 

“I swear to god I put her to bed. How did she get out of her crib?!” Max glares, right as the culprit behind it all comes rushing out to run at Eddie. 

“I knew you’d come! I knew it daddy!” She giggles, running at him and throwing her arms around him tightly. “You came back!” 

“Motley?” He starts, brain beginning to process what she was saying. “Did you…. Lie to get me here?” 

“I did!” She smiles, peering up at him with big doe eyes. “I lied daddy! And now you’re here and you can take all my Barbie’s!” 

“If you know lying is bad and you’ll get punished, why did you do it?” He asks, pulling her off before squatting to her level. “Metal head, that was very dangerous-“ 

A gust of air leaves him as her arms wrap around his neck tightly, tears springing from her eyes. “I don’t want you to be mad at me anymore.” 

“Motley I’m not mad, that was just dangerous and it scare-“ 

“No! About Billy. I’m sorry daddy.” His heart plummets, his brain racking to figure out what she was talking about. Why was she sorry? 

“No. No I’m sorry.” He sighs, turning to see Max staring at them intently. “Hey max. Think you can take Ziggy for a moment?” 

“Sure thing mop head.” The redhead scoops Ziggy up causing the young toddler to scream and kick, reaching chubby fingers out for Eddie. As much as he wanted to take her back he had to focus on Motley. 

“Come sit.” He nods his head, leading her to the kitchen table sitting in the chair beside hers and angling it so they were facing. “Listen….. Daddy ha- Well I have been feeling really bad about Christmas Eve. I never meant to do that, or to attack your dad in front of you.” 

“But-“ 

“I owe you a big apology for that Motley. And I don’t know what you’re feeling sorry about, pretty girl, but it’s not your fault and you have no reason to be sorry.” He murmurs, swiping the tears that fall from her cheek. “You have done nothing wrong.” 

“I told Billy he couldn’t come for Christmas Daddy!” She blurts, her tears hit against his thumb as he keeps swiping her cheek. “I’m sorry!” 

“No no no. You don’t be sorry.” He moves to pick her up, sitting her on his lap with her face pressed into his chest as he rubs his palm over her hair to try and soothe her. “Let’s just take a deep breath, okay? Then you can tell me what happened.” 

There’s something coiling in his gut at her tears. Pain, anger, sadness. He truly could not tell, but he kept her close and rocked her back and forth to let her cry. When she finally calmed down enough to talk she started telling him. 

“He was really mean daddy. And he kept t-telling me that y-you we’re gonna replace me-“ her body racks with sobs again. “He said you didn’t want me. A-and I was upset! But he w-was mean to you-“ 

“Easy.” He whispers, wiping her cheek once more. “You gotta breathe pretty girl.” 

“He was m-mean. Said mean things about you daddy and mean things ab- I’m sorry! I-“ her sobbing gets worse and Eddie shushes her, choosing to rock her back and forth and keep her in his tight embrace. “And you w-were ma-you were madatme.” 

“No no. I was never mad.” He sighs. “Daddy was never mad at you.” 

“You were.” 

“No, I was just scared. I…. Daddy didn’t want you hating him.” Eddie explains. “I just wanted to give you space. Having 2 dads is confusing. I didn’t want to make it worse.” 

“He hit you.” 

“Did he ever hit you motley?” Eddie asks sternly, squeezing her a bit in comfort. 

“He spanked me.” That feeling in his stomach settled on rage. 

“That’s not fair. And you shouldn’t have had to go through that.” 

“Please don’t leave again.”  As much as he wanted to promise her that he wouldn't, that wasn’t a promise he could make. You probably hated him, and he would have to talk this out with you first. 

“Let’s get you to bed yeah? Daddy will tuck you in.” 

“I want mama.” 

“Well she’s at work.” He mumbles against her hair. 

“Can we go get milkshakes?” 

“I don’t know…..” it was almost 10. Then again it was New Year’s Eve and he didn’t want you taking the bus home so this would give him an excuse to go pick you up. “Only if they have chocolate.” 

“You already know they have chocolate!” She giggles, and he can’t stop the way his heart seems to light up. 

-

It was a busy night, and the smell of the jalapeno nachos all your tables were ordering was making you nauseated and angry. You wanted to throw up, maybe cry, maybe throw up then cry. 

Apparently a town next to Hawkins lost power so a bunch of people were driving to this place to have a good new years which meant you were going to be stuck here forever. You found yourself stressing about the bus’ schedule as you dashed to run food. 

This is what you had been doing when you spotted him. Running a tray of jalapeño nachos to your table, keeping it a safe distance from your nose as you thought about the fact that you might have to walk, and there he was. 

Standing in the doorway, leather jacket and wide eyes, as you caught him looking for you. And he was holding Ziggy. 

What the fuck Maxine?! 

“Y/n get a move on!” Your manager calls and you snap out of it, moving to deliver the tray as the host seats Eddie. 

You hear Motley call out “mommy!” And instantly knew that they would now be sat in your section. Did it make you a bad mother if you admitted you would rather die than face him tonight? 

“Mama!” Your daughter calls, making you look over as she slides in, Eddie sitting right next to her and then you are forced to confront this. You should have learned about birth control. Better yet maybe you should have practiced the art of condoms more.  

Thinking of all the ways you could have prevented this situation as you gaze at your daughters adorable smiling face. God she was beautiful….. still should have used a condom. 

“What a surprise. I could have sworn I left you guys with Max.” You try to smile, avoiding looking at Eddie as Ziggy reaches for you. You grab her gently, bouncing her on your hip and she starts playing with your hair clip. 

“I got daddy!” Motley admits proudly, pointing to Eddie which makes you look at him. Your heart thumping against your chest, adrenaline rushing through you as he stares at you with those god damn brown eyes. 

“Munson.” You greet, turning back to Motley. “Girls, stay in the booth for a moment. Okay? I’m gonna talk to him outside.” 

You walk off after that, leaving Eddie no choice but to follow as he jumps up and runs to catch up. The winter hair hits you, and you immediately wrap your arms around yourself to keep some of the warmth, the crappy waitress outfit doing nothing for you. 

The second you hear your name fall from his lips you whirl, slapping him in the chest to push him back. “What the fuck is the matter with you munson?!” 

“I…. Give me a moment to explain, please.” 

“Explain?! EXPLAIN?!” A bitter laugh splits from your lips. “Look. I get it. My life was a bit too messy and fucked up, I’d run too. But you bringing the girls here is just making it worse. You’re going to get their hopes and it’s gonna crush them.” 

“Too messy? Who said anything about it being too messy?” 

“WHY ELSE WOULD YOU RUN?!” Your voice raises louder than you thought it would, but you don’t back down. “And I don’t appreciate you talking to my daughters without me. Now I gotta tell them-“ 

The words ‘my daughters’ sound wrong, and you can’t fight the disgust that coats you as you trail off, eyes widening as he stares back at you with a set jaw. “I just mean….. I get why you left okay? My life is chaos and you were really nice for staying and pretending like it was fine. But those girls…. They can’t know you left cause of that. I was hoping, as shitty as it sounds, that after a couple years they’d forget. Y’know?” 

You are swiping at your cheeks as tears stream down your face, trying not to look at him. You catch him moving up, his hands outstretched, but you move backwards so he can’t grab you. “Eds. Y-you should just go. Okay? It’ll be fine.” 

“No it won’t-“ 

“It will. I’ll be fine. I won’t be mad-“ then his arms are around you, pulling you in quickly as he shoves your head into his chest and you get to inhale his scent once more. Doing your best not to outright sob. 

“I was the mess.” He blurts. “I was scared, okay? I was scared that Billy was gonna turn everyone against me, and I was scared that I ruined Motleys Christmas.” 

You scoff, trying to pull away, not really believing the excuse. Before you can fully move he wraps an arm around your waist, his other hand moving to your jaw to drag your eyes up to his own. “I was scared. I was a coward.” 

“But-“ 

“No buts. I didn’t leave cause I thought you were a mess, baby I think you’re perfect and your daughters are so fucking precious to me. I…. You really thought I was running cause I couldn’t handle it?” 

“I just-“ 

“Y/n!” Your boss calls from the door, looking exasperated. “You gettin sick again? Need to go? Or you wanna get paid so you can afford maternity leave?” 

You tense again under Eddie’s touch, stomach curling as you try and take a step back while Eddie’s brows knit in confusion before he turns to glare at your boss. “She’s sick.” 

“Fine. Take her home. Just have to transfer tables.” The man snaps, turning to walk back in before Eddie is whirling on you. 

“Am I crazy or did he just say maternity leave?” 

“Eddie….” You sigh, feeling saliva build up as you panic. He watches you, taking a step back just as you lean forward to puke. 

- 

The car ride is silent. Not the serene kind of quiet and more so the anxiety inducing type. 

You had no clue what to say to him at this point. Suddenly everything just seemed to….. silly. You’re reaction and his reaction. You should have just called. Why hadn’t you called? 

No, he should have called. 

You were being a decent person and giving him space and “mama?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Can I sleep with you and daddy tonight?” 

“Ya!” Ziggy yells, making Eddie chuckle under his breath as he leans to turn the heater in the car up. It had been forever since you had ridden in this van, since he deemed it unacceptable to drive the girls around in since it lacked seatbelts or a backseat. Even now everytime he braked he means a hand out to block the girls even with Ziggy in your lap. 

“I don’t know…” 

“Please! Please please.” 

“We will talk about it when we get home.” 

Only there was no talking about it, the second you got home with the girls Motley ran to throw away her to go milkshake cup then dashed to your bed quickly which turned into a screaming fit when you tried to tell her no. 

The word condom just kept circling your mind as you finally just told her to lay down, she did so and Ziggy soon made her appearance to crawl onto the bed. 

Eddie takes off his shoes. Moving to lay with the girls as you turn off one of the lights so the room was dark enough for them to fall asleep, and then you shuffle to the bathroom to shower before bed so you didn’t smell like grease and beer. 

It wasn’t even 10 minutes before you heard the door open and shut softly, you turn already knowing he is heading for the shower and watch as the curtain opens lightly. 

Normally he would jump right in like he belonged there which would make you laugh, tonight he had a questioning gaze, trying not to over step. You give him a small nod and then the curtain is pushed aside and he dives in, still in his shirt and jeans. 

“Edward-“ you warn before his lips are on yours in a searing kiss. He keeps one hand on your jaw to keep your lips connected as his other wraps around your back to keep you close as the water runs over both of you getting his clothes soaked. By the time you pull back he’s already working his way down your neck with kisses as you earn him again “clothes.” 

The hand holding your jaw moves to cover your mouth quickly as he peers at you, giving you a fake angry expression that has you laughing. “Do not wake our kids.” He whispers before stepping back to undress. 

The jeans take a moment to shuck off since they were wet but the second he is free Eddie dives for you again, showing up just how much he missed you. 

-

You sit with him on the floor of the kitchen by the fridge, using the light above the oven as your only source of light while you both snack, keeping cuddled together in nothing but your robes. 

Nothing has been said yet, and you were just fine with that, exhausted and happy that he was there. But he has to ruin it, of course he does. 

“I’m still sorry.” He murmurs, scraping the cream of one side of an Oreo using the empty side. 

“I am too. I think we’re both incredibly stupid right now.” 

“You’re telling me.” He blushes. “I just…. There was a time in my life when I hated Uncle Wayne. I had this image in my mind that he was trying to tear me away from my dad. Fuck I just wanted to be with my dad, I looked up to him whether he beat me or not and- the way I treated Wayne and the way I hated him….. my dad didn’t help, everytime I went back with him my mom and I just ended right back up at Wayne’s with more bruises than last time. And when she passed I was the only one there to inflict it. Wayne for him arrested and I swore my world was ending, swore I would never talk to Wayne again.” 

“You thought that was what was going on with Motley? That she felt like you were tearing her and her dad apart?” 

“Yes and no. I just was trying to prevent that from happening, I didn’t want her to have to experience that choice.” He whispers, picking at the robe. “I just wanted to protect her.” 

“She wanted to protect you too.” You whisper back. “That’s love.” 

“Billy told her that…. That I was gonna try and replace her.” He gulps, and you stop smiling instantly. “And now that you’re pregnant, and as happy as I am because I am so happy, I need to make sure she knows that I’m not trying to replace her.” 

“We’ll make it work.” You mumble, laying your head on his shoulder. “We always do” 

He hums out, laying his head on top of yours and sitting in the silence for a moment before you break it once more. “Where are your rings?” 

“Haven’t worn them since I got arrested.” He answers, holding up his bare hands. “My fingers were too bruised and swollen at first, then I just couldn’t care to put them on.” 

“Eddie?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Let’s go to bed..” 

“Give me five more minutes.” He whispers, turning his head to kiss your own, keeping his nose pressed into your hair. 

“Why?”

“I just…. I just want to be near you for a little longer.” 

- 

The sun peaks through the curtains, hitting Eddie right in the face which in return makes him groan out, moving the pillow around to try and block it. I’m his attempt to move Ziggy wiggles around, giving a displeased noise that her dad woke her up from sleeping before moving to lay right on his chest. 

Motley does not move an inch, mouth wide open and eyes sealed shut, Eddie has to reach a hand out to poke her and make sure she’s not dead. 

She wrinkles her nose, moving closer and shoving her face in your pillow, staying peacefully asleep. 

You’re sitting at the edge of the bed, and he can only blink at you trying to straighten his eyesight as he watches you zip up your work boots. (For some reason I imagine go go boots with the 70s look. I don’t know guys. I….. I have no clue). 

“You going to work?” He blurts, making you jump. 

“Sorry, yeah. Max will be here soon to watch the girls. We agreed on it last night before I left.” You mumble, moving to grab your apron. 

“I can watch em….” He whispers, staring at you. The way the sun from the window hits you makes you look angelic. 

“Okay.” You smile, moving to kiss Motley and Ziggys heads before you move to walk away. Fully offended Eddie snatches your hand and draws you back, annoyed at the shit eating grin on your face. 

“Baby,” he whines making you let out a small laugh and lean down to kiss his lips before rushing to leave. 

He lays with the girls for a little longer making sure the blanket is covering all three of them before the day truly has to start and he forces himself to get up. Setting Ziggy down without waking her up was a difficult task but he managed, shuffling to the bathroom to change into todays clothes, thankful that he no longer has to wear all the shit clothes he left at Wayne’s when he originally moved out. 

Upon exiting the bathroom he nearly trips over Motley, who had been sitting in front of the door. “What are you doing Metalhead?” 

“You took forever…” she whines, wrapping herself around his calf which makes him smile. “I wanna stay with you.” 

“Okay,” he answers, moving down to peel her off his leg and letting her climb up for a piggy back. “You’re gonna help me make breakfast then.” 

“Waffles?” 

“We’ll just have to wait and see.” He smirks, walking down the hall as the front door opens to reveal Max. 

“Hey. Sorry I’m late.” She rushes out, face red from running. “I woke up a little late and-“ 

“It’s no problem. I’m here if you had other things to do.” Eddie offers. “Or you can stay and have some breakfast?” 

“Sounds great. I’m kinda ignoring the rest of the group right now.” She explains, setting her bag down and following them into the kitchen. Eddie gets Max set up at the table, trying to set Motley with her but the girl wiggles and whines so he allows her to stay. 

He listens to Max rant about the group as he moves around to make waffles, enjoying the easy feeling he gets being here. God why did he ever leave home? 

“-And Lucas is just always set out to fight Erica. You’d think he had a crush on Dustin and wanted to date him. You know? I get it, your baby sister starts dating your closest friend. A little weird. But get over it!” 

“I think Uncle Dustin and Auntie Erica are so cute!” Motley adds which makes Eddie chuckle a bit. 

“Lucas is upset because he always thought they were in agreement that Erica was annoying.” He explains, bending down to set Motley down and bring the food to the table. “But it’s been months. Time to move on.” 

“Exactly!” Max sighs right as Ziggy comes pounding in with an angry look.

“Alone….” She whines and Eddie smiles at her. “Aweee did you wake up alone? My poor little baby.” He coos, picking her up and bringing her close to kiss before setting her on his lap to help her eat. He already knew she would not be into the high chair based on the way even Motley was clinging to him. 

Even now, as she used a spoon to shove waffles in her mouth, she kept a hand on his own arm to keep him close. 

“I’m gonna work on mamas car today.” He explains. “I’ll be right outside. So maybe you girls can stay in here and keep Max company.” 

“I wanna stay with you.” Motley whines, giving him puppy dog eyes. 

“No it’s too cold. You stay in here. Okay?” And then Eddie gave her his puppy dog eyes. Oh yeah, can’t beat dads game. 

She groans and looks at Max who smiles in return. “I’ve been practicing my barbie voices just for you.” 

“Fine! But barbie is married to G.I. Joe! Ken is the villain. We’re not arguing about it again.” 

“But isn’t it Barbie and Ken? Wouldn’t Joe be the villain?” 

“Maxine.” Motley warns, slamming her tiny hand on the table. 

“Fine. Got it.” 

-

It didn’t last long. 

Eddie had put on his mechanic suit, trying to keep warm as he took a look at what was going on with your car. 15 minutes in Motley came out wearing her snowsuit and smiling. “Look daddy! I can help!” 

“I thought I said to stay inside-“ a laugh breaks out when she takes off the hood of the snow suit to reveal that she tied a bandana over her head like a hat. “That’s not how you tie it. Come here.” 

He helps her tie it like his, telling her to sit a little closer to the grass as he keeps working, making sure the radio is on a station she would like as he does so. 

By the time you get home she is making snow angels in the snow of the lawn as he curses under his breath. 

“What’s going on?” You ask, making him jump and hit his head on the hood of your car. “Oh! I’m so sorr-“ 

“It’s good. I’m good.” He laughs, letting you fuss over him anyways. He takes his chance to kiss at you before you are pulling back. 

“You are covered in car nastiness-“ 

“You mean grease and oil?” He laughs, keeping you trapped in his arms to rub his cheek on your shoulder. You yell out playfully, still trying to escape as he does so. 

“Does this mean you guys are good?” Steve appears, dustin behind him. “Are you done being mad at me Y/n?”

“I was never mad at you!” Eddie keeps his arms around you as you turn to look at Steve, making sure Motley is good. 

“Yes you were. I waved at you the other night and you completely ignored me.” 

“I didn’t see you wave.” You reply and Eddie can’t help but laugh. 

“I called your name!”

“It was a busy restaurant, how am I supposed to hear everything.” You scoff, pulling from Eddie’s arms and flipping your hair. “Come on Motley. Let’s go inside.” 

“Just admit you saw me wave!” Steve groans, following you to the door before Motley turns to shove him and close the door in his face. “Rude!” 

“Steve, did you just get beat up by a kid?” Dustin laughs. 

“It’s Eddie’s kid. Does that count?” 

“My kids are great!” 

- 

Things took a moment to get back to normal, but that was to be expected. 

Eddie found the folder of all your research on places to go, running his fingers over the math you sprawled across the pages to figure out how you would afford it, he promptly threw it in the trash bins outside. 

Motley stayed glued to Eddie as much as she could, and in the mornings when he had to get up for work she made sure to wake him up and give him a kiss by the door making sure that he swore to come back before she would dash down the hall and lay with you. 

Makeup Christmas happened, except it was only Wayne that was invited and instead of a whole feast you guys ordered a crap ton of Chinese food. 

Wayne came over early, sneaking around the back and coming in through the back door which confused the girls to no end but they were excited to see their grandpa. 

Ziggy also proved that she learned 2 more words by saying “shit grandpa!” All excited and reaching her hands up for him to grab her. 

He howls with laughter, scooping her up and throwing her in the air as she screams in excitement. 

Everyone sits around the tree opening gifts, Wayne on the couch with Ziggy on his lap helping her open the gifts. Eddie sat by the tree, passing them out with Motley right by him and you next to her. 

He pulls out an envelope that has his name sprawled on it and looks at you. 

“I had a plan for Christmas. But I kind of had to redo it. I planned on giving you the stick, but figured since you already know I’d get the ultrasound.” Yoh blush, watching his excitedly tear it open. 

It’s quiet for a moment as everyone watches him admire the photo, smiling from ear to ear. 

“Anything you notice?” You ask, waiting. 

“What do you mean?” He asks, before Wayne snaps his fingers and grabs the photo gently. 

“There’s two.” Wayne grunts before his eyes light up. “You’re having twins!” 

“Obviously….” Eddie mumbles, “we already knew that?” 

“What?” 

“The stick? It had two blue lines? So that means we’re having twin boys? Right?” Eddie mumbles, staring at you like your crazy. 

It’s quiet for a moment as you and Wayne process what he said before you burst into laughter, the girls following even though they had no clue what was going on. 

“Not even close boy!” Wayne cackles as you have to wipe some of the tears from your eyes. 

“Does that mean you’re pregnant mommy?” Motley asks, turning to look at you with wide eyes. Your heart stops, going back to what Eddie had told you. 

“Yes. Mommy is pregnant .” You wait to see her reaction and Eddie finds himself reaching for the gift he had added two days ago. “Motty. I have something for you.” 

He snatches the tiny box, holding it out to her. “It’s a really important gift though. Okay?” 

She nods slowly, taking the box from him and opening it just as slow. Inside held a simple chain necklace, but when she pulled it out it revealed that he had hung his mothers ring on it, the one he normally wore on his right hand by itself. “I was told to give this ring to someone very special. It’s from my own mom.” 

She gasps, turning to him. “You’re giving it to me?!” 

“Well yeah! You’re my oldest kid. My firstborn.” He laughs, moving to help her put it on. Then he snatches another box and hands it to her. “This one is for both you and your sister.” 

She reaches for it and opens it gently, pulling out a heavy chain that has a dog tag connected to it. “Another necklace?” 

“Well…..” Wayne laughs, flipping it to reveal what the dog tag says. 

“Who is Zeppeplin?” 

“Zeppelin, baby.” You correct, already standing up. 

“Who is Zeppelin?” She giggles, which makes Eddie laugh, picking her up by her armpits to make her stand as you go and open the back door. 

The dog, a young little puppy at most, snaps his head to the noise and wags it’s tail excitedly upon seeing you. 

“Come in!” You smile and he bolts from his spot tearing up sticks to get inside. Once he hits the threshold of the house he is everywhere. Sniffing the fridge to the chairs, jumping on his hind legs to clean up the high chair where Ziggy left her banana. After inhaling that he bolts to explore more, completely missing the living room as he bolts down the hall to sniff all the rooms. 

Once Motley sees the flash of fur she screams in excitement, which draws the puppy back and they both just feed off each others excitement. 

She’s jumping up and down, screaming in excitement and the dog starts howling to match her while his butt starts wiggling at how hard he is wagging his tail. 

“I am so excited for Chinese later.” Wayne murmurs, coming to hug you as Eddie tries to calm both the noisemakers down. “Thank you for inviting me.” 

“Of course, you’re grandpa.” You smile, watching Ziggy from his arms just stare intently at the scene before her. “She can’t tell whether to be excited or scared.” 

Wayne laughs, pointing to the dog and trying to help Ziggy see him. 

Later that evening everyone sits around the table, Max with you all, as you pile Chinese food onto the plates. Motley keeps showing Max the necklace she got while Wayne keeps bragging to Eddie about his new Jean jacket. 

Zeppelin chooses to sit by Ziggy, and it’s very clear that the dog has already figured out who will drop the most food. Ziggy giggles every time she drops a piece of broccoli and he catches it. 

“Now we’re gonna have to watch her every time we give her veggies.” Eddie groans. “She’s got an accomplice!” 

“Zeppy and Ziggy!” Motley cheers like their superheroes. 

- 

February rolls around soon enough, and your daughters biggest catastrophe had nothing to do with the restraining order on Billy, or her dads new bike (which she was terrified of). No. Motleys world was ending over valentines cards. 

Eddie had helped her pick them out, little heart shaped cards that you could stick lollipops in, and had sat with her to write in them as you took Ziggy in for a haircut. 

The only one that Motley had not written a card for was Troy, and now the morning of Valentine’s Day she was still panicking. 

“I can’t write love cause then he will want to get married!” She explains and Eddie nods like it’s super serious. “And I can’t write like, because then he will know I have a crush on him!” 

“Glad you can admit it.” He nods and she rolls her eyes. “Here’s an idea! Okay, you ready metal head?” 

“Ready daddy!” 

“You can write ‘from Motley’.” He laughs, watching her face go serious. 

“That’s what I wrote on the others!” 

“Exactly.” He watches as she thinks about it before nodding quickly and writing it down, tossing it in her valentines box and dashing to grab her backpack. 

“She finally figure out Troys?” You ask, shuffling Ziggy in. “It’s been days.” 

“She did. We decided on writing ‘from motley’.” He smiles, leaning forward to kiss you before leaning down to kiss your stomach then Ziggy. 

“Stevie….” Ziggy giggles, running to the phone. It didn’t take long to figure out that she would be the one to run the phone bill up, even now she spent every morning learning to dial her uncle Steve’s number. She dialed Dustin once but deemed him “poopoo head.” 

“Nuh uh. Come eat pretty girl.” Eddie calls, pointing to her chair. “Zeppelin is waiting.” 

The dog, who just a month ago had been tiny enough to lay under her chair, now sat at full height beside it. Still a puppy, just bigger.  

Ziggy runs, her little pigtails bouncing as Eddie picks her up by the overalls to sit her in the chair. Now trained Ziggy eats his dog food beside her rather than everything she drops, and if somehow someway some of her waffle drops in his bowl then it can’t really be considered his fault. 

“Motley, hurry up baby.” You call. “We gotta go.” 

“You good to pick Wayne up?” Eddie asks, moving to grab his lunch. 

“Yes. I’ll drop Motley off at school and go and grab him.” Wayne had injured his hip, so today you’ll be taking him to the doctors to see what the plan was while Eddie went to work. 

“Okay. And Ziggy is still good to-?” 

“Ziggy and Zeppelin are going to Nancy’s, yes.” You smile. Nancy had just given birth to her third boy, and she liked having Ziggy over because she liked having another girl in the house. 

“Okay. Tell me how it goes?” He asks, leaning to give you one more goodbye kiss as you nod before moving to say bye to Motley. “BYE BEAUTIFUL LADIES!” 

The day had started off so well, you should have known it would only go downhill from there. 

Wayne sat in the passenger seat of your car, irritated and ranting about shitty doctors. “I’m not doing it. You hear me? Just give me some Tylenol and I’ll be fine.” 

“MOMMY!” Ziggy screams, from her spot on her car seat. 

The doctor had told Wayne he needed hip surgery and could not work, which meant that Wayne was pissed and you were panicking about what to do. He couldn’t work which meant he wouldn’t be able to make rent and he would need some help to move around. Then when you got to Steve and Nancy’s she had told you that Ziggy had taken quite a stumble off the table and scratched her chin on the corner of the table. 

It was a mess. 

Both of them were not having a good day and Zeppelin was howling at their ranting and screaming and as much as you loved them you truly debated crashing the car. 

Then you got home to yelling. 

Eddie stood in the living room, still in his work attire with his hands on his hips and his eyes wide. “You’re in rare fucking form today, you know that?!” 

The response to his question is met with a demonic scream from down the hall and you can only assume that Motley was having a bad time as well. 

“I’m not getting a surgery, you hear me Edward?” Wayne snaps, limping to the couch. 

“What the fuck are you on now?” He snaps back, looking at him annoyed as Ziggy rushes past crying. “What the fuck is going on?” 

“It’s apparently a meltdown day.” You sigh, moving to kiss his cheek and go into the kitchen to make a snack for yourself. 

Todays pregnancy craving was potato chips with lime juice and pickles, Eddie watches from the entrance of the kitchen with a smile as you settle at the table and enjoy your snack. 

He moves and takes the seat next to you, following your lead on snacks. 

“Why is Metalhead in ‘rare fucking form’ today?” You giggle, watching his face pinch in annoyance. 

“I pick her up and she gets in the car, right? And then she just starts screaming at me! And I mean screaming. The entire ride home! And from what I gather Vinny didn’t give her a valentines card.” He explains. “God. She was yelling like she was possessed. Then I tried explaining that maybe it was lost and that made it worse.” 

“Did she get one from Troy?” 

“I don’t know. I don’t think she cares either.” He sighs, rubbing his jaw. 

“Okay, we let her ride out the fit in her room. We’ll call Steve later to see what happened.” 

“Sounds great to me.” He smiles. “She scared me a little. Threatened to cut her hair and everything. Then threatened to cut MY hair.” 

A small laugh tears from you as he steals the potato chip in your hand before looking to Wayne’s direction. “They recommend surgery?” 

“It wasn’t a recommendation.” You sigh, grabbing his hand and tracing the tattoo. “I think we need to move the house around.” 

“What?” 

“If Wayne gets surgery he needs to be here. I’ll cut back shifts at the diner and help him out.” You start. “He won’t be able to use the stairs so maybe we can move our room downstairs which would give more room for the twins cribs in our room, but Ziggy has problems with the stairs and she likes coming in to sleep with us cause of the nightmares but-“ 

“Easy. Easy.” Eddie mumbles, turning his hand up quickly to snatch your hand and pull it to his lips. “We’ll figure it out.” 

- 

And so you did. 

Eddie moved the house around, and turned the basement into a bedroom for you guys. Now with more room and your own bathroom down here he could set up the cribs. 

Wayne took your old room, and though the man threw a fit the girls got excited that Grandpa Wayne would be living here now. 

He got the surgery in the beginning of March, and Motley and Vinny were still fighting. 

You spent your days helping Wayne, taking him to pt and helping him move around the house. 

Motley and Vinny got put into separate classes which lead to a whole argument between Steve and Eddie about whose kid was the one to blame. 

Life was a bit of a mess. 

It all came to head at the children's father dance. 

Eddie had dressed in a tux, making sure he looked good as you got Motley ready for the night. With Wayne napping on the couch with Ziggy asleep on his chest drooling (a daily nap these two took) Zeppelin follows at your feet, keeping close to you as you did Motley's hair. 

“How do I look?” Eddie asks from the door of the bathroom. “I have a date tonight and I’m really nervous.”

“Daddy!” Motley giggles, rushing to him in her puffy little skirt, hugging him tightly. 

“Alright you two. Let me get a picture.” You smile, rushing past to find where the camera had gone. By the time you got a picture of them Motley was rushing Eddie out, ready for the dance. 

He struggles to find parking, and ends up finding one right next to Steve’s car, rolling his eyes when he sees Harrington fixing his jacket while Vinny reads in the car. 

“Harrington.” He greets coldly, fixing his leather jacket and moving to open the door for his daughter. 

“Munson.” Steve matches the tone, scoffing at Eddie’s jacket. “Little Munson.” 

“Uncle Steve.” She huffs, fixing her hair. 

“Really? A leather jacket Edward?” 

“You look like you stepped off a Queen music video, Steven.” Eddie snaps, holding out his hand for Motley. Fighting or not they wait at the front of the car for Steve and Vinny. Walking into the dance together. 

“I’m surprised that they even let you in here. Your child is a danger to society.” Steve snaps as they wait in line for tickets. 

“Let’s talk about your kid giving everyone but my sweet Angel a valentines card. That’s barbaric.” Eddie defends, watching Motley wave to her friends. 

“He didn’t want to. And I don’t need to tell him what to do.” Steve blushes, turning to look at something to avoid looking at Eddie. 

“There it is again. You’re acting so fucking suspicious about that card, man.” Eddie points at him, silver rings glinting in the light. “Tell me what you know.” 

“Tickets?” The poor woman asks, interrupting their stand off. 

“Yes please. Four.” 

“No two. I’ll get my tickets.” 

“No I’ll get them” 

“You’re not buying me ,Steven.” 

“He’s buying me.” Motley smiles, snatching the money from Steve’s hands and setting them on the table before grabbing two tickets. “Let’s go get some pop, daddy.” 

Eddie can do nothing but follow, letting the little lady lead the way. 

After about an hour of Motley showing him everything and introducing him to all her friends she abandoned him to hang out with some of the girls in her class, making sure Eddie was okay where he sat at an empty table nursing a can of soda. 

It felt like high school again, watching the way all the other dads surrounded Harrington as the pta moms that decorated huddled together and giggled in the corner. At least the kids were having fun. 

Eddie wished you were here, you would be sitting with him. 

“Jesus. Gary never shuts up.” Steve mumbles, snapping Eddie out of his train of thought. “I got you a slice of pizza.” 

He sets the slice down, giving Eddie a weird smile as he scarfs down his own slice. But eddie wasn’t very hungry, instead he surveyed to check on motley and see her giggling with all her friends as they dance in a circle. 

“Your kid has been sitting alone, you gonna help?” Eddie asks, looking to where Vinny sits reading a book. 

“I tried earlier. He just said something about me embarrassing him more.” Steve sighs. “Then complained that I ruin everything.” 

“What happened? I’ve never seen him alone at a party.” 

“Have I not told you? Your daughter is the popular one. They made her move classes and he was left in their old class struggling to make friends.” Steve mumbles. 

“Why don’t you get one of the many dads following you around to get their kids over there? It feels like I’m in highschool again, waiting for your cronies to shove me in the bathrooms and lock me in again.”

“How long were you in that bathroom, again? Two hours?” 

“Three.” Eddie sighs. “I smoked and set off an alarm so the principal found me.” 

“Sorry.” 

“Wasnt one of your worst. I was fine.” Eddie shrugs. “Sorry about Vinny.” 

“I have faith.” Steve sighs, leaning back in his chair. “I also cannot believe I’m at a daddy daughter dance.” 

“It’s a father kid dance?” 

“They didn’t want the boys feeling left out.” Steve explains. 

“I see.” Eddie smiles, picking at the pizza. 

“He wrote one. You know?” 

“Sorry?” 

“Vinny wrote one. He wrote a valentine for Motley and got her a big chocolate bar. But a girl made fun of him in the parking lot and he panicked.” Steve explains. “Ripped it up and left the chocolate on my car to melt on the seats.” 

“I can clean that.” 

“You can?!” 

“Oh yeah. I got you Harrington.” Eddie laughs right as another dad comes to the table. 

“Howdy gentleman.” He smiles, sitting down. Eddie has to blink to recognize, holy shit that’s Tommy. “Oooo. I’m sitting at the hellfire table. So scary…” 

“Do you have a kid here…?” Steve asks, blinking slowly. 

“Yeah.” He slurs, pointing to the young kid stuffing his face with marshmallows.  “You guys want some whiskey?” 

“Jesus. I smell it from here man.” Steve snaps, standing up. 

“I’m driving. Hard pass.” Eddie laughs, standing with Steve. 

“It’s so weird to me that you two are friends! That shit is like….. mind flowing!” 

“Blowing.” Steve corrects and Eddie sighs. “Damn it Harrington. It was a trap.” 

“Blowing is more for you guys, if you know what I mean.” Tommy laughs and Eddie shakes his head. 

“How did you fall for that Harrington? You made that line.” Eddie grumbles, moving to find Motley. “Hey Metalhead?” 

“Yeah daddy?” She asks, coming up with her cheeks bright red from all the dancing. 

“Have you eaten?” He asks, offering her a bite of his pizza before looking back over to Vinny. “Think you can go help him out?” 

“Yeah. I guess.” She sighs, kissing his cheek and rushing to find Vinny and bring him out to dance. 

By the end of the night Eddie has danced to about every little pop song she wants, and by the time he is bringing her to the car it’s more of a carrying her situation as Steve tries to trip Vinny up. 

“Have a good night Harringtons.” Eddie laughs. 

“Sleep tight Munsons.” 

- 

“Shouldn't you be in bed?” Eddie asks, peering up at you over his book as you shuffle and pace around the room. 

“Shut up.” You grunt, waving your hand at him. Your face is pinched up and Eddie finds himself sitting up and staring at you. 

“What’s going on here?” 

“Edward shut UP!” You snap, pacing back to the wall and holding your hands against it to try and breathe in. “Sorry. Sorry that was mean.” 

“Are you in pain?” He mumbles, standing up and putting on his slippers. 

It was your ninth month, and Eddie was anxious because he had never experienced the pregnancy part of it all before so every kick and movement made him worried. 

“Eddie. Edward. Eds.” You grunt out, and right there something trickles down your leg. 

“Did you just pee?” 

“EDWARD!” 

(Would you guys want me to keep going? I have more ideas {Especially Motley in high school} Feel free to message me if you want me to keep going or if you have any blurbs or requests for them in mind)

TAGLIST:: (Let me know if you want removed)

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@caseyqdilla @zooboomanfu @avenjames-anderson @hazydespair

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[hauntingkiki]

HII!!! can i request Venture with pregnant reader? how will they react finding out shes pregnant? headcanons on them taking care of her throughout the pregnancy, giving birth, etc? Even them taking care of the baby later on!! and Venture parent headcanons in general!! sorry if it’s a lot, i’m just thinking of Venture as a parent!! SO CUTE!!! love ur writing btw!!

OMG AWWW YES! this is so cute! and it’s not a lot dwdw!! and thank you! i’m glad you enjoy reading my work!

Venture x Pregnant! Reader

Overwatch

2nd POV

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

- i want to start this off by giving a quick headcanon!!(idk if ive said it already) but i TOTALLY believe that sloan has a huge family, and i mean HUGE. bunch of brothers, sisters, cousins, nieces and nephews, so they’ve ‘experienced’ what it’s like to have someone who’s pregnant

- but anyways, into the request!

- so! a few weeks after the two of you got 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂, sloan noticed that you were a little…off?

- something didn’t sit right with them, but they kind of shrugged it off to ‘it’s been a while, and we both have shitty sleep schedules; it’s probably that’ and they went to work

- you knew something was wrong, so you took a pregnancy test from the bathroom

- ^ the girls in sloan’s family gave some tests for you just in case

- but anyways, you took the test, patiently waited the three minutes and-

- you were pregnant.

- sloan got home a few hours later, and you told them you made a discovery while they were at work. sloan’s mind immediately clicked to you finding a geo in the backyard but they closed their eyes, and opened them to reveal a positive pregnancy test!

- they were so happy!! started crying tears of joy while they peppered you in kisses and engulfed you into so many hugs!

- when you’d have really bad morning sickness, sloan would hold your hair back and just sit with you on the bathroom floor

- they know you’re going through a lot, and you’re going to go through more as the months go on, so they’ll accommodate to your every need:)

- one of my irl pookies gave me a headcanon😳 she said, “venture the typa parent to act ike theyre calm and collected the whole pregnancy but constantly freak out and worry about their partner” WHICH I SO AGREE ON!

- even though sloan went through this multiple times, they’re so stressed out because it’s YOU! their partner!!

- you’d be in bed, upset about something then sloan will come to the rescue!

“don’t worry, i’ll go get you something!” *stands completely still*

*in disbelief while tears are STREAMING down your face* “WHAT ARE YOU DOING??”

“I-I DONT KNOWWW!”

- they panic so much cause they don’t want to make you more upset or anything:)

- sloan tries their HARDEST to not make you mad at them, but it just ends up with you crying because of how sweet they are towards you

- whenever you have a new craving, sloan is so down to try it. a good 70% of the times they like them! but the other 30%…never again.

- have you seen those cute gender reveals where it’s just the parents and they cut the cake? yall did that

- this and this tiktok are MY FAVORITE GENDER REVEALS EVERRR!! and it’s EXACTLY how i imagine it!!(kinda)

- the two of you were somewhere pretty, like a lake, flower garden or a beautiful meadow! and you two had the cake in front of you, the glasses in hand.

- little oneshot real quick for this😳:

“you ready?” sloan muttered, hands shaking as they held the beautiful champagne glass that was going to cut the cake to reveal the gender.

you nodded faintly, heart hammering against your chest. your hands shook violently, your wedding ring tapping against the glass, a faint ding sound ringed through the glass.

the two of you hovered over the cake, both glasses clinking together.

“i’m so scared.” you sighed, your voice cracking as tears stung your eyes.

sloan brought their fee hand up to your face, caressing your cheek before letting their hand rest on your arm. “it’s okay!” they reassured with a chuckle, rubbing their thumb across your forearm.

sighing, you nodded, the two of you closing your eyes and pressing down into the cake, pulling your glasses up once they were filled with cake.

“okay.” sloan chuckled, rolling their shoulders. “3…2…1…”

the two of you opened your eyes, you bursting into tears while you dropped your glass into your lap, the frosting staining your dress.

sloan let out a breath, eyes wide as they examined the glass in their hands before leaning it against the cake, pulling you into a hug as they two of you cried tears of joy.

it was a girl.

- once sloan found out you two were having a baby girl, they went on an outfit shopping spree; buying everything that they found cute for her.

- months have past and you were going to name your baby girl, d/n (daughter name), but, you were trying to figure out what she was going to call sloan when she starts talking

- you were looking for gender neutral titles for your lover, before sloan walked into the living room and sat next to you, unaware of what you were doing

- they turned to you the same time you turned to them, a sad look on your face as you open your mouth but sloan beats you to the punch

“…i’m going to be a dad.”

- your due date inching closer, the stress was getting to both of you. both of you were ready to see this baby but, what the fuck do you do?

- sloan backed a backpack full of necessities and left it in the car a month prior, so you were good there. the nursery was all set with everything the baby needed, baby monitor was also installed, stroller was purchased- the list went on

- then, it happened.

- as soon as the words “my water broke” left your lips, sloan suddenly locked in and knew what to do

- it all happened so fast, one minute you were in your apartment then the next you were in the hospital

- while sloan and you were waiting for you to be fully dilated, they helped you do some stretches and get your mind somewhat off of the pain, which helped a ton

- they held your hand the entire time, not letting go at all. they held your hand when you were getting your medication for the pain relief, and when you were pushing- they were at your side the whole time

- when you were pushing, you were expecting them to pass out, but they didn’t (you weren’t super surprised since they’ve been through this before)

- constant words of encouragement from them! they’d also give you small pecks on the lips during your breaks before kissing the top of your head

- then, many hours of pushing, the baby had arrived

- sloan started bawling the second they saw her, obviously letting you hold her first as the two of you cried happily together

- when you passed d/n off to sloan, you were a little nervous, but they did fantastic holding your baby

- while you were getting some sleep after the birth, they were just holding her. their mind was blown that they were a father, a parent!

- when they were getting sleepy too, they joined you on the small ass hospital bed, but they let you be practically on top of them, so it was a win in their book LMAO

- i think that’s all the pregnancy head canons😓 so let’s dive into the general parenting headcanons!

- they’re 100% playing in the dirt with your daughter, looking for rocks, worms, and other critters and surprises

- d/n definitely got sloan’s love for rocks and nature, she’s constantly begging her father if they can go outside

- you two hardly get mad at her, since she’s such an easy kid

- sloan deffo limited the amount of trips for work, only going on week long trips instead of month+ trips, but as she got older and more mature, they started going back to work again

- the wayfinder’s absolutely ADORE HER! she calls everyone aunty/uncle there and they treat her like she’s family(she basically is)

- if you and sloan want to go on a date night, sloan would drop her off and they’d happily take her in:)

- as she got older, sloan and her got more into archeology; them telling her all about their adventures and even about overwatch too!

- oh, and (mostly) everyone at overwatch loves her too

- rein, ana, and sigma have honorably taken grandparent titles

- they would so want to give her a quinceañera when she’s 15 (since mexican from sloan), but they won’t force her to have one if she doesn’t want one

- they’ll speak spanish to/around her, that way she can get familiar with the language and she can communicate with family members who only speak spanish

- and you do the same too! if you speak another language, that is

- they’re the overprotective parent when it comes to dating/boys

- if she wanted to have a sleepover with 10 friends, they’d so let her! sure, you’d probably get a little upset, but sloan would help feed them and clean up after them:)

- but, overall, they just really love their little girl. they’re so happy to have a family, especially with you!

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE!! thank you for requesting!! i hope you enjoyed!:)

[olympiansowl]

There’s a thing I’m DYING to get out of my chest! I love the series, I love the characters, but like…they’re changing all of the plots, but probably won’t change the one that, at this point, I know that a lot of people want to change.

1 - Let’s start with Galadriel. We have the appendix and all, and it’s stated on it that she, Celeborn and Celebrian were at Eregion at the time that fake treacherous blondie called Annatar was. They changed at least 70% of her plot to fit the “when the sun sets we are both the same” agenda with Sauron. I like that they got on a different way, don’t get me wrong, and I also love the dynamic of “light and darkness” but it’s really unfair when we think that they take some (a lot) liberties to this plot, that is literally ALL done on the appendix, but they don’t change other things.

2 - King Durin…that man was supposed to die on third age. THIRD. And the Balrog should’ve happened later and in Moria…so they can decide to kill off a character and make him appear on an age that he isn’t even part of, but they cannot change the fate of a character whose death isn’t even mentioned on the appendix? Be so for real.

3 - I mean, everyone knew it was Gandalf. I knew it was him from the moment I saw his hair. The thing is, they took another liberty and made a whole plot to a character that want supposed to be there, but they cannot change that specific plot that I will talk about soon?

4 - Numenor. Pharazon. THE FAITHFUL. Now I want y’all to see it because they made Pharazon’s plot be like “I’m gonna mix his plot with his father’s plot, with Atanamir’s plot and Adunakhor’s plot and I’m gonna put a bit of his grandfather there, too” and it’s annoying because things are happening too fast in Numenor. I have the impression that all of it happened in a month, which is different from other plots that seem to be longer. In a few days that man has buried his uncle, usurped his cousin, traumatized his son, almost killed off his cousin’s boyfriend, almost killed off his cousin, trapped her into HER FATHER’S OLD PRISON/ROOM, made all of the faithfuls go through hell, imprisoned her or made her bow to him and now he’s on his way to make everything Miriel made in season one, but with the “I’m evil af” difference. Like, she was usurped for this and they are “omg Pharazon you’re such a baddie 🤪🥰”

5 - The timeline in Numenor! I don’t get why they made some choices, but like, if the faithful were already kinda apart from the society, why didn’t they make the exile before? The exile and a lot of those things happens waaayyy before the series and they could’ve stuck to it since it’s on the appendix. I’m gonna be adamant about the appendix, y’all better not even mention the Silmarillion to me bc those two men said they had the right to four books and four books only…and none of them are the Silmarillion. So they should stick to at least some of the things that are stated on it. I’m not a book purist, I am only stating that’s really unfair that they made all of this changes to characters and plots, but won’t change something like the destiny of a character who is only mentioned twice and I can ASSURE you guys that her death isn’t mentioned on the books they have the rights to.

6 - They are making everything twice and that’s pissing me off too because I don’t know what to expect next. Sauron went twice to Eregion, might go twice to Numenor, might become this fog or whatever tf that thing was twice, Galadriel almost got him twice, the orcs might leave him twice, all of the leaders are saying shit like “my place is here” instead of fucking getting away from those doomed places. Everything is being recycled to other plots. Isildur not getting the girl and having to leave her because of Kemen…his father having to leave his girl because of Pharazon…it’s getting a little bit too much parallels and not much different things.

7 - Earien, Kemen and some scenes we should have. I don’t really like Earien, I hate Kemen, but like…he killed her friend and she doesn’t know about it? We didn’t get a scene of her mentioning Valandil after his death and we also cannot actually draw the line of where she stands. She witnessed kind of a miracle with Miriel and seemed far more gentle with her on the sea trial thing. She’s also helping her father get out of this alive. But where does she stands? She isn’t a faithful, ofc, but she’s isn’t a corrupted thing like Pharazon and Kemen either. The thing is, she helps both sides at a point after royally fucking everything up. They literally made her be one of the main responsible to Miriel’s destiny and like…will she ever feel bad for it? And don’t tell me she isn’t responsible bc that girl decided to help usurp the queen, ignored what the late king said about faith, took the palantiri and gave it to Pharazon, who now used it to accuse Miriel of siding with Sauron…which caused “omg I just had this brilliant idea” to pop on Pharazon’s mind and now the faithful are being imprisoned or exiled. Yeah, she has daddy issues and so does Isildur and Anarion and none of them are ou there usurping Queens and helping the devil. Y’all also better not start with me about “oh but she isn’t obliged to believe in this religion, she shouldn’t be okay with her brother dying because of this” because: Isildur decided to go, he wasn’t forced. None of the Numenorians were forced to do anything. She lives on this Island, she DESCENDS from the same lineage Miriel does, which is ELROS lineage. The island was gifted by the valar and they just took her new step mom for a spin. Her lineage lives at least 200 years and y’all are telling me that in a world of elves, dwarves, rings of fucking power who can make things heal and whatever, the absurd thing is a palantiri? Be so fr. And I’m gonna say it…if they make a redemption arc for that girl and let her survive the fall of Numenor, I’m gonna be royally pissed. There’s no way they’re going to save that one and won’t save the fucking queen whose death isn’t even mentioned on the appendix.

8 - Now I’m gonna talk about Miriel, my Queen and Elendil’s wife. I’m sorry, but they are making her go through all of this hell for what? Because everyone who is going through actual hell on the series is surviving, and if they don’t plan on making her survive, they could at least give her a fucking break. Her father lost his throne, got sick, she got kinda of manipulated by the blondie, she lost her vision, some of her people died and she blames herself, her father died, she got slapped on the face by a random woman on her fathers funeral, she lost her throne, her freedom, became a prisoner on her own kingdom and on HER FATHER’S OLD ROOM, her boyfriend and now she also lost her free will. Not to mention that, if they try to make things more alike to one book than the one they actually have the rights to, she might be forced to marry that idiot who happens to be her cousin. Safe to say that Cynthia and I have very different visions of “okay” bc the last time Miriel had peace was when she was a one month old fetus on her mother’s womb. Why all of this trouble to make her die at the end? And I’m being so real now.

9 - Like, they changed a lot of things. A real fucking lot of things. And some VERY important things. And they cannot change her death? I swear, if she was so important to book narrative, the appendix would say more about her, but the only things there are basically “Tar Palantir had a daughter, Tar Miriel, she should’ve been queen, but his nephew seized the scepter” and that’s it. Her death isn’t there, it can be avoided, and yet they’re going down that road with this character when they literally invented 1000 ways of going out of the time line and narrative with other characters? I’m not gonna say what it seems to me, but yeah…

[aizawas-dryeye]

➭jjk characters as things my friends have said

content: crack, +18 topics, drugs, NSFW shit, like one joke about eating disorders

words: 627

ko-fi

!!MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

my friends make me giggle , um also i had No Fucking Idea how to format this soooo

• • •

Shoko: i hate when men say they hate hairy coochie cos they cant find the clit like sir move her bangs over and there she is

Shoko: anyways i stopped shaving my pubes out of spite

*•*•*

Gojo after having a breakdown about Geto: bitch he called me perfect after seeing my ass and tits , forget what i said bitch im in love 😍‼️

*•*•*

Nobara: id buss down for a corn dog

*•*•*

Maki: people who are still in a harry styles or justin bieber phase refuse to progress in a way that is healthy

*•*•*

Nanami: i think im a hypochondriac

Gojo: isnt that when you have boy and girl parts?

Geto: thats a hermaphrodite

*•*•*

Mei Mei, taking the bdsm test: it says im 70% misogynistic

Utahime: that says MASOCHISTIC

*•*•*

Toji: you have to do anal with god to get more than two sauces at the chik fil a

*•*•*

Nanami, promptly after vacuuming: ohh i love a freshly shaved room

*•*•*

Gojo: you know what this dick needs? a tortilla

*•*•*

Inumaki: sorry babe no sex right now im trying to watch one piece

*•*•*

Utahime: what fun things did yall get for christmas?

Shoko: COVID 🕺💃

*•*•*

Yuji: do you remember mickey mouse club house?

Megumi: yea

Yuji: HOTDOG—

*•*•*

Megumi: i think my ex voice teacher is schizophrenic

*•*•*

Geto: this house smells like dookie donkey dick

*•*•*

Nobara: i was violently ill so i decided to lay on the bathroom floor where it is the safest

*•*•*

Inumaki: i have smoked a bowl and drank some coffee. im hoping to have a meeting with god before i talk to my therapist

*•*•*

Megumi: yalls wifi makes me wanna eat my own shit

*•*•*

*group of old ladies walks by*

Yuji, gasping: it's the golden girls!!

*•*•*

Nanami: a word being on the tip of your tongue is akin to edging

*•*•*

Gojo: you are the crack of my ass

*•*•*

Nanami: i used to collect pogs, do you remember those?

Yuji: .... phat ass white girls?

*•*•*

Toji: im doing a tea diet

Shiu: what does that entail?

Toji: an eating disorder probably

*•*•*

Nobara: im gonna die a slow suffocating pepper death

Yuji: if you die from a pepper the universe really had it out for you

Nobara: ok peanut allergy

*•*•*

Nanami: i often think about what if 9/11 happened two months earlier

Nanami: 7/11 would have woken up to a PR nightmare

*•*•*

Toji: how you gonna cheat on your girl with a limp dick?!

*•*•*

Gojo, lovingly: oh nanamin, what does the fox say?

*•*•*

Toji: im going to sleep i dont give a fucking flying fucking turtle shit

*•*•*

Geto: the most consistent panty dropper is not rizz, but closeted homosexuality

*•*•*

Yuji: i know what gets the bitches goin *turns on chowder*

*•*•*

Toji: you know that spoon keychain you got me?

Megumi: mhm

Toji: im so sorry but i definitely did cocaine off of it

*•*•*

Uraume: if you wanna find trans people go to hottopic

*•*•*

Shoko: nurse! scissor me!

*•*•*

*5am, packing a bowl*

Nobara: does this count as a wake n bake

Yuji: yes

Yuji: well if you never woke you never boke

*•*•*

Sukuna: if i bite into a burger and it cums in my mouth im shooting up the block

*•*•*

Yuji: omg whos calling me?

Nobara: your mom— oop...

Nobara: sorry

*•*•*

Nanami: let a man kiss his partners mons pubis what are you the cops?

*•*•*

Gojo after Geto sent him nudes: thank you for keeping my dick fat, youre like a son to me

*•*•*

Gojo: getting megumi to shower is a fight

Geto, looking him up and down: ... does that run in the family?

*•*•*

Shoko to Gojo: little is NOT how i would describe your eyes

*•*•*

Megumi: kendrick lamar stuck in my head

Yuji: just his face or,,,?

Megumi: his music???????

*•*•*

Nanami: not to be obscure but you guys cant translate the phrase "whore boy" like that