#got distracted with my true crime shows lmao

[nightmarenova-writer]

~Story Drabble Pt.7~

(P.S. this is something of a draft for my project that I briefly mentioned in my pinned comment, I kinda impulsively decided to type this down because its been driving me a bit crazy due to how much I could work with this. And since by the time March comes around, this’ll be my 2nd year of constant and detailed planning with taking stuff out and putting stuff in. And I’m hoping by next year or by December I’ll have enough to start posting my stuff. BUT there is one important detail with my project. It’s actually a large scale fan-fic that’s gonna have roughly 10-11(?) parts or “installments” so if that isn’t your thing then you don’t have to feel obligated to read these okay? If its not your cup of tea, then no hard feelings. Also just a heads up my grammar might be a bit sucky. Even as a native English speaker my grammar does go down when I don’t write for a while! But I hope you enjoy this! Without further ado, lets get to it!)

—Also this one is a long one, so buckle up and get ready for the ride! Might be a bit confusing at some parts but i tried to make it make sense lol. Enjoy!!—

When I came to, there was nothing around me. Not in the sense of it just being pitch black and void of signs of anything, but literally nothing. No noise, no air, not one tree or silhouettes, not even color. Just…nothing.

‘Where am I?’, I couldn’t help but think.

After all, the last thing I remember was laying down on my brand new bed I just managed to get and conking out. The gentle sound of the wind blowing the trees limbs, and the delightful soft, fluffiness of my blankets engulfing my small frame. Laying snug against the wall facing my bedroom’s door. As I closed my eyes, enjoying the silence and chance to get a full nights rest.

But now I’m here. Alone, in a place that even though I know I’ve never been to, seems so painfully familiar. And no matter how much I called out or tried to find anything, anyone there was nothing. Alone…I was alone. Where am I? Where is this? Why am I here? What is happening?!

No matter how many times I asked I didn’t receive an answer. Alone. I was utterly alone.

‘Someone…anyone…please someone answer me!!’, I screamed helplessly in my mind.

I don’t want to be alone. Please, I just want a sign. A voice, a color, a tree or flower, a person, it doesn’t matter. Just give me a sign!

L̶o̷n̵e̴l̷y̸.̷ ̶I̴’̸m̷ ̵s̴o̵ ̴l̷o̵n̵e̸l̴y̵.̸ ̶W̸h̸y̵ ̷i̸s̸n̴’̶t̷ ̸t̵h̸e̷r̷e̵ ̴a̸n̷y̶t̵h̶i̸n̷g̵ ̸h̶e̶r̵e̴?̸ ̷W̴h̴y̵ ̷a̶m̶ ̶I̶ ̵a̵l̶l̵ ̷a̸l̸o̸n̸e̸?̸ ̵I̷ ̵c̷a̸n̶’̸t̵ ̶e̶v̵e̸n̷ ̸r̷e̵m̷e̷m̶b̶e̸r̶ ̴h̷o̶w̴ ̶I̶ ̷c̴a̸m̶e̴ ̵t̷o̵ ̷b̷e̶.̶ ̵S̴o̷ ̵w̸h̷y̴?̵…̷A̸h̶ ̴I̵ ̴s̵e̶e̷…̷s̵o̴ ̵t̵h̸i̵s̵ ̷i̸s̴…̵b̴u̸t̵ ̴h̷o̴w̶?̴

‘Who’s there?! How are you here!?’

D̸o̶n̷’̴t̸ ̶w̸o̶r̶r̶y̷,̴ ̷l̶i̸t̸t̷l̸e̴ ̴o̶n̶e̸.̷ ̵I̶’̵m̴ ̶h̸e̶r̴e̷ ̷t̶o̷ ̴h̸e̶l̸p̵.̴ ̸A̷n̸d̷ ̴w̷h̵o̷ ̶I̴ ̴a̷m̵…̵i̷s̷ ̵n̴o̵t̷ ̶i̸m̴p̸o̵r̴t̷a̷n̷t̷ ̸r̶i̸g̴h̷t̵ ̶k̸n̴o̷w̵.̴ ̷N̴o̸t̷ ̸y̴e̷t̶.̶

‘You…what do you mean? Why are you lonely? Why….’

D̷o̶n̵’̸t̷ ̵f̷r̵e̴t̵,̶ ̶y̵o̷u̴r̷ ̶a̴n̸s̵w̸e̴r̶s̶ ̶w̷i̵l̶l̶ ̸c̵o̵m̷e̶ ̷i̵n̷ ̵t̴i̷m̵e̸.̷ ̸H̵e̴r̶e̷ ̵t̷a̸k̴e̷ ̸m̷y̷ ̷h̵a̷n̴d̵ ̶I̷’̶l̵l̴ ̵l̶e̵a̶d̷ ̸y̸o̷u̵ ̵a̶w̴a̶y̸ ̴f̷r̵o̶m̴ ̸t̵h̶i̶s̶ ̷p̴l̸a̸c̸e̶,̸ ̸a̸n̵d̸ ̷b̴a̷c̷k̷ ̷t̵o̸ ̴y̷o̸u̸r̷ ̸h̶o̵m̸e̴.̴ ̶T̴o̶ ̸y̵o̷u̵r̷ ̴f̴r̷i̶e̷n̷d̵s̸,̷ ̶y̸o̸u̸r̸ ̵l̵o̷v̶e̶d̷ ̴o̶n̵e̷s̷.̷

Then, just like a higher being answered my prayers, a hand reached out to me. A small, fragile hand that waited for me to place mine in theirs greeted me. Their skin was pale, and when I looked up to see who this person was. I was met with a blank, white silhouette. No features, or details to show who this hand belonged to.

Even when I knew I should be cautious, be afraid, to be on guard. I couldn’t bring myself to. It was strange, it felt like I was somehow looking in a mirror. Myself but not myself. A feeling of a connection that I shouldn’t have discovered just yet. That the right time wasn’t now, but further in the future…

This person didn’t mean me any harm. But the aura around this person…was so sad, so lonely, so desperate, and resigned. My heart clenched at the sheer despair they where openly showing, the heart break, the grief, and the self-deprecation. I could see it all. I wanted nothing more than to hug this person, give them words of comfort, of self worth, of saying that it wasn’t their fault, it never was.

This person was featureless, but they didn’t need features or words for me to see. I just knew, even without their aura, I just somehow knew. Me, but not me. A mirror. I didn’t even know I had started crying until they pointed it out, voice filled with tender worry.

W̴h̵y̷ ̴a̸r̵e̴ ̶y̷o̵u̸ ̵c̶r̶y̵i̵n̴g̶ ̵l̷i̸t̸t̷l̷e̴ ̶o̸n̶e̵?̸ ̸

Placing my hands against my eyes, I could feel the waterfall tears fall down my face in big globs. Surprising me as to how much I was crying, more than as to why. I knew why, but I also didn’t. Frustration welled up, but also sympathy I held for them. It was like they where the other side to me, another side of the coin, the reflection of me I would see in the mirror every day I would wake up and get ready for another morning.

‘A-ah! I…I can’t help it. I don’t truly know why, but when I look at you I can’t really help but cry. It’s strange just how much it feels like I’m looking at myself in some way, that’s mainly why.’

Feeling the caress of a hand against my cheeks, brushing away the tears. I moved my hands from my face in favor of gazing at their face, lightly placing my hand on top their own, holding it in silent understanding. Blank, but was somehow still expressive, speaking not in words, or facial expressions, or the light in their eyes. But with a simple touch, and the aura they held said it all.

Lonely….they said they where lonely. Something I’m all too familiar with, but overcame with the bonds I made with others. Why are they so lonely? Why do they hurt so? I didn’t know, and I also knew they wouldn’t tell me why until it was time. I don’t want to leave them here alone. They shouldn’t have ever felt these awful emotions in the first place, but there was no changing what they had been through.

Was there truly no way to help them? To make them feel that they’re not truly alone? I racked my brain for any solution, any possible answer but there was none. As if there was already no possibility in the first place, that this person right in front of me already used that chance and was left as their current self.

But how do I known this? I’m sure I shouldn’t know this, and I’m already treading on dangerous territory the longer I stay in this place. Even now, my train of thought is changing, adding things to my thoughts as they come to me.

…I don’t care though. All I care about for is this person in front of me. Their touch is cold, when they speak it sounds lightly scrambled, their hand is soft yet has muscle. Committing all of these sensations to memory, although it would no doubt be locked away for the future.

I̴t̴’̶s̶ ̵a̶l̴r̷i̴g̷h̵t̷,̴ ̶t̷h̴e̷r̷e̴’̴s̸ ̵n̷o̶ ̴n̷e̴e̶d̷ ̸t̵o̸ ̸c̴r̶y̶.̴ ̸I̸t̸’̷s̵ ̶t̶i̴m̶e̶ ̸f̵o̸r̴ ̸y̷o̸u̴ ̴t̴o̶ ̷g̴o̸ ̵h̶o̷m̸e̸.̶ ̷I̴ ̶h̷o̶p̴e̶ ̷t̷o̶ ̴s̷e̸e̵ ̸y̷o̵u̶ ̴w̸h̶e̷n̸ ̷t̴h̸e̶ ̴t̸i̶m̵e̷ ̴i̵s̸ ̵r̶i̸g̵h̷t̶.̶

‘Wait please, don’t let me leave you all alone again!’

I̴’̸m̸ ̷n̸e̷v̵e̵r̸ ̷t̸r̷u̵l̸y̴ ̶a̷l̸o̶n̵e̴,̴ ̴n̴o̸t̸ ̸w̵h̵e̵n̶ ̸I̷’̸m̸ ̸h̴e̴r̴e̵…̶.̵f̷a̶r̵e̷w̶e̵l̵l̸ ̵m̸y̵ ̸@̷$̷%̸#̴&̸!̸%̷!̵&̷.̴

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Pa…wa…u! P…ge…w..ke…p! Page wake up!”

I woke up gasping for air, my lungs burning in need to the blessing of one of life’s driven forces. My body shaking, throat aching in protest, and my cheeks wet from the tears I shed in my sleep. Finally recognizing the feeling of hands pressed firmly on my shoulders, I looked at the person who woke me up with wide eyes.

“Hey, are you okay? Me and @#%! heard you crying from our room.”

“Oh, I’m sorry @!#$&%!^. I just…had a bad dream?”

“A bad dream? Do you want to talk about it? I wont mind if you don’t want to either of course. I don’t want to make you talk about it if you don’t want to. After all bad dreams suck.”

I chuckled at @!#$&%!^’s response. They always found a way to make me laugh, even it was unintentional. That’s the kind of person they are, I’m glad they’re my friend.

“Well I couldn’t even if I wanted to. Since I can’t even remember what the hell went on in it.”

“Well, that’s good I guess? I don’t know what else to say really since you don’t remember it. But do you want to go back to sleep or do you want to stay up for a bit to drink some hot cocoa to calm down?”

“Mmmm, I should try to go back to sleep. After all, we have the !@#&*@%@!#% !@#%$ to go to later on today.”

“Ah your right! Well I’ll go back to my room, goodnight Page. Sleep well.”

Before they could leave I grabbed onto the back of their shirt. I don’t want to be alone, I don’t think I could handle being alone right now. Even though I don’t remember my dream, I could still feel the powerful feeling of loneliness that came from it. As well as the feeling of being powerless. Two emotions I absolutely hate experiencing, as the memories attached to them are memories I wish I was able to erase completely.

Regardless, those moments made me who I am today, made me stronger. Made me more determined to protect my people. Even then, there are times where even I need comfort. Although I try to not let it show, I break down, I cry, I hurt too, away from their eyes.

Back then i wouldn’t even think of seeking comfort for these moments, my burdens, my promises, my duties. But now….I’m slowly beginning to let myself lean on my loved ones shoulders in times I need it. After all this time my older siblings told me that it’s alright to lean on others for comfort, to let them hold me as i cry, and tell me it’ll be alright. I’m slowly, but surely letting myself be more open, this moment being one more to add to my memories.

“Wait! Can you…do you think you could stay with me? I don’t…I don’t want to be alone right now…please.”, I whimpered.

A soft sigh was the response @!#$&%!^ gave me, small smile plastered on their face as they gave me a nod, “Yeah I can do that, let me get !@#& and well go to sleep alright?’

“Okay, bring a extra blanket with you too.”

“Hai hai.”

Watching @!#$&%!^ leave my room for theirs I laid back down in my spot against to wall, curled into the cool surface as i waited for them to come back. Listening to the soft murmurs and rustling come from their room, next door to mine. A small smile made its way to my face as I saw @!#$&%!^ come back into my room with !@#& in their arms, a royal blue blanket draped over their shoulder.

Scooting a bit more into the wall, as they place !@#& down on the bed first, before climbing in themself. Shuffling a bit to get comfortable, and turning to face me once they did. The air was soft, filled with comfort and warmth. It made me feel safe, made me feel like everything was going to be okay for the rest of the night. Reaching my hand out I latched me hand onto theirs, intertwining our fingers as I gave their hand a squeeze in thanks. They squeezed back, that small smile still on their face as i closed my eyes once more.

This time I wasn’t scared of anything that could happen inside my dreams. After all I have them next to me to make sure i don’t. I trust they will wake me if I do once more.

Once again i fell into the grasps of sleep, unaware of the soft, endearing look my friend held on their face as they watched me fall back asleep without any problem. Silently cheering that I didn’t put a strong front to hide my suffering. And was opening up with letting them comfort me whenever i needed it. They would have to let the others know about this, after all this was a big step not only for me, but for them too, and our ever blooming relationships.

[kennedycore]

Ok I’m watching the kennedys, as you know, and I want to know your opinions on it if you ever watched it!

I also want to know why caroline had it canceled ?

aaaaaa i love reading your posts when you're watching the show!!! i'm happy to know you're continuing it lol

i watched it around 4 years ago ago so my memory of the show is pretty hazy (i've been itching to rewatch...)...

i think there's such a scarcity of kennedy media that i get happy regardless when there's a show/movie/documentary coming out about the kennedys.

i LOVE barry pepper as bobby, kristen hager as joan (in the sequel series), and kristin booth as ethel. they did such an incredible job!

i thought greg kinnear as jfk was okay and i didnt like katie holmes as jackie because i kept being distracted by the fact that she was katie holmes lmao

i like the pacing of the show but the production quality is a little iffy at times and some of the acting is sooo bad (the actor for j. edgar hoover stands out to me in particular).

like many people, i wasn't a fan of them treating kennedy family "myths" as fact and i wish there was more kick, joe jr., teddy, etc. the show mainly focuses on jack, bobby, ethel, jackie, rose and joe sr.

caroline got it cancelled because she didn't like a lot of the inaccuracies the show presented, which is the reason why a lot of critics didn't like the show as well. i'm sure she also wasn't a fan of the show presenting her father hoeing around with actresses and mobster's girlfriends lmao

some of the inaccuracies that were presented for example:

the family myth of joe offering jackie a million dollars to not divorce jack. when jackie heard about that rumor she called up joe sr and said "why only 1 million, why not 10?" lmao so it definitely wasn't true

jackie being on the verge of a drug addiction and constantly about to break down. jackie would take a lot of vacations away from the white house to recharge and she was nowhere near a drug addiction. she was chain smoking profusely though lol

bobby going soft on mobsters (including sam giancana) when in reality bobby famously struck down on a lot of organized crime syndicates during the 50s.

jack being reluctant to help james meredith, the first black student to attend the university of mississipi during segregation, when in reality he threatened to utilize the national guard if he wasn't allowed to attend that university.

the show just felt really sensationalist and i'm fine with historical inaccuracies for the sake of entertainment, but the acting and production quality was just... bad so it definitely didn't help.

[libraryofgage]

Too excited to not share after finishing, so here's the full (unedited) Cheerleader Steve chapter of the Modern Steve in 80s Hawkins fic lmao

Featuring: Cheerleader Steve, Hellfire Club, Eddie's tragic split ends almost (almost) eliminating Steve's attraction to him, and Steve’s cheer routine living rent free in Eddie's head forever after (not that he knows it)

Anyway, here we go:

The theater room is mostly empty except for three more teens. A table is set up in the middle of the stage area, a DM partition at the head of the table and a grid-map spread across the middle. Little figurines are placed across the grid, each of them seeming to be in specific positions related to monster-like figurines. Steve can see two teens sitting at the table clearly, but the third one is behind the DM partition, slouching in their chair so only one hand with rings decorating the fingers can be seen dangling from the arm.

Flannel Teen leads Steve into the room just in time to hear the tail-end of someone saying, “-ill not convinced they won’t show up.”

“Eddie,” Flannel Teen says, cutting off whatever would have been said in response, “got a visitor for you.”

The one behind the DM partition---Eddie, Steve realizes---straightens up in his chair, a pair of brown eyes peeking over the top of the partition and landing on Steve. The eyes widen slightly, something like amusement and wariness dancing in them as Eddie stands and walks around the table and…

And Steve is fucked. He didn’t even know the whole metal-grunge-80s thing would do it for him, but here is with his heart skipping a beat. He wants to trace the rings on Eddie’s fingers, wants to study all the patches and pins on his vest, wants to grab him by the belt loop and wallet chain and pull him in close and kiss until they’re breathless.

The thing is, Steve doesn’t believe in things like love at first sight. But he does believe in things like his imagination and following his gut and knowing when the two are working together. Right now, his imagination and gut are doing a fucking tango with how they’re offering him visions of a semi-awkward dates, sweet kisses, incredibly satisfying nights, and little stolen moments together that make both of them smile for years to come.

He just knows in his gut that it could be so good, they could be good, but he still isn’t entirely convinced that Eddie isn’t a murderer. He’s, like, 98% sure, but that 2% is what keeps him in check, stops him from flashing a charming grin at Eddie. He’d really prefer to not be like those true crime girlies who want to fuck Dahmer, thanks.

“So,” Eddie says, effectively pulling Steve from his thoughts as he walks up to him, “what made you bring a stranger into our lair?” Despite looking straight at Steve, he knows the question is aimed at Flannel Teen.

“Some of the swim team cornered me in the hall,” Flannel Teen says, shrugging nonchalantly when Eddie glances over at him with a concerned, questioning look. “He…talked them into leaving and said he needed to talk to you.”

Steve thinks that’s an understated way of saying he implied they were all gay and then used high school social hierarchy and expectations to make them leave, but sure. Eddie hums with appreciation, apparently thinking Steve is worth a few seconds of his time, then, and asks him, “What’s your name, big boy, and what do you need from yours truly?”

“My name is Steve. It’s nice to meet you,” Steve says, smiling politely and ignoring the urge to ask how a theater room qualifies as a lair as he sticks his hand out.

The amusement in Eddie’s eyes instantly vanishes, replaced with indignation as he ignores Steve’s hands. His lips curl up in a sneer, circling Steve like he’s sizing up an opponent. “So, you’re the Steve I’ve heard so much about. How bold to show your face after making my campaign unplayable,” he says, coming to a stop in front of Steve.

This close, Steve is almost distracted by the absolute travesty that is Eddie’s hair. He wants to reach out, cradle the poor locks with their split-ends, and ask Eddie why he’d neglect something with such potential. He looks like he uses the 80s equivalent of a fucking 3-in-1 shampoo, and Steve almost loses all his attraction to Eddie in that moment.

Almost.

Steve drops his hand, keeping his polite smile even as he raises an eyebrow. “Unplayable? You could just reschedule it, dude,” he points out.

Eddie’s nostrils flare slightly, a scoff coming from him in the next second as he leans back, waving his hand dismissively. “Of course you don’t understand the sanctity of DnD. Let me guess,” he says, spinning on his heel and raking his eyes up and down Steve. “A jock, right? Balls in laundry baskets or tidy-whitey swimming? I’m surprised you aren’t with the rest of the brainwashed conformists at the game right now.”

Oh, Steve has been handed such a golden opportunity on a silver-platter here. He could blow Eddie’s assumptions right out of the water. But what would be funnier? Blowing the expectations out of the water now, or playing into them for now and confusing the hell out of him later? Well, it’s easier for Steve if he’s just honest and himself right now. Plus, he can't wait to see Eddie's face when he truly realizes he was wrong.

“I did play basketball,” Steve admits, ignoring the absolute elation on Eddie’s face that’s probably from being right and getting to rub it in, “and I did swim. But I’ve also played DnD a few times. I’ve been told my DM was shit, though, so I probably wasn’t playing right. Oh, I was a substitute cheerleader my senior year of high school and joined the chess club, too. I’m not at the game because Dustin asked me to talk to you. And because I just didn’t want to go.”

Eddie’s elation morphs into confusion, then curiosity, and then disbelief. “Somehow, I’m doubting the cheerleader and chess club part of that, Stevie,” he says, drawing out the nickname into something that’s supposed to be mean and goad him into reinforcing Eddie’s initial assumptions.

“What, want me to prove it to you?”

“Sure, Stevie, prove you were a cheerleader.”

Steve sighs, nods, and takes a few steps back. “You know, I fail to see what any of this has to do with Dustin and his friends asking you to postpone the campaign,” he says, shrugging off his jacket. He glances around, notices Flannel Teen standing next to Eddie, and holds it up questioningly.

Flannel Teen starts to reach out for the jacket only for Eddie to snatch it up himself. “Careful, Gareth, we don’t want you getting infected,” he jokes, flashing a grin that makes Gareth snort and tells Steve this is some kind of inside joke. He looks back at Steve and adds, “This has everything to do with it, big boy. I gotta make sure you aren’t a liar leading poor little Henderson astray.”

There’s genuine concern in his tone, so Steve bites back his sarcastic response and nods. He thinks for a moment, looking at the space around him and counting the syllables in Hellfire. After cycling through the few cheers he still remembers well enough to recite, he finally chooses one that doesn’t require too much movement.

Steve shakes out his arms, rolls his shoulders, and takes a deep breath.

“Hold on!” he shouts, plastering a bright smile onto his face and holding his hand out in front of him. He then spreads his legs to be shoulder-width apart and uses his right index finger to tap his left wrist in an exaggerated manner as he says, “Wait a minute!”

He’s barely started, and the entirety of Hellfire Club is staring at him like he’s an alien. The looks only get more confused as his grin becomes a little more genuine and he shouts, “Hellfire puts some boom into it!�� As he says the club’s name, he pushes his arms out to the side, and he jumps as high as he can when he gets to “boom,” touching his toes mid-air.

Steve manages to land steadily, subtly letting out a breath of relief as he places his hands on his hips. He keeps up with the momentum, bringing his fists in front of his face. “Ramp it up!” He punches above his head with his left fist. “Knock it out!” He punches the air in front of him. Gareth slides his foot back slightly when Steve punches forward, and he’d feel bad if not for the clear fascination in the guy’s eyes.

“Hellfire Club always stays on top!” Steve brings his arms up and flexes them, a little proud of his muscles when he sees the way Eddie stares at his arms. “Hellfire Club never drops!” Steve, however, does drop. He drops into a split (and holy fuck, he’s grateful he wore the looser jeans today) with jazz hands thrown up in the air.

Silence reigns supreme in the wake of his cheer, and Steve can’t help his intense satisfaction at seeing the way Eddie’s grip on his jacket tightens, his knuckles surely turning white under the rings. Steve drops his arms, carefully moves out of his split, and stands up. “So, good enough for you?” he asks.

Eddie stares at him for a few seconds before looking away and roughly throwing his jacket back. “Yeah,” he says, his tone significantly less combative than before, “I guess we can fucking reschedule the campaign.”

Steve smartly refrains from asking what his cheer routine has anything to do with rescheduling the campaign when he was originally doing it to prove he wasn’t, in fact, leading Dustin astray. If this works in his favor, then he’s not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Instead, he shrugs on his jacket and says, “Maybe everyone could tell me their names now.”

And so Steve learns their names are Gareth, Jeff, Asher, and---of course---Eddie.

[weirdcat1213]

ok i have an oreo on one hand and a shark plushie on the other, lets do this

trimax volume 8 (pls dont hurt me)

thoughts

BUT BEFORE THAT, ACTUAL QUESTION: how are the 1st timers holding up? yall doing good?

ok now long post is here

chap 1:

-oh that title page its SO FUCKING GOOD

-MY BOI HES HERE

-oh hes not....doing it by choice.....oh

-legato looking like a pizza pocket is the comedy relief we all need tbh

-GET HIS ASS VASH GET HIS ASSSSS

-oh my geesus i heard that, i felt that shit

-"they abuse us" and here you are knives...doing the same shit

-OH THANK GOD YOURE HERE

-could you look less happy while doing this shit knives? pls?

-something something divine punishment from the skies, something something yeah ofc not anyone can do that shit

-oh hey why is he with them i actually forgot

-aw :3 i wonder who taught him to not shoot to kill :3

-also pls leave him alone hes not just a killer pls youre hurting my feelings-

-:c

-STOP VASH DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT HOLY SHIT

-rem mention :c

-knives can you stop being right for a second, thanks

-the arm...wow

-OH YES ITS THIS MOMENT YES

-i dont remember what the other translation said but "that was the day we both lost our minds"....yeah im gonna sit with this one for a bit and cry cuz its true, they did

-oh yeah i didnt get this the 1st time lets try again :D

-ohhhhh....oh shit

-i hate siding with knives on this chapter but i cant help it. i also love the idea of being even

-also he looks so fucking cool while being evil, cool points for you knives

-"invasion" and it ends with him looking at the stars/nightsky? brilliant

chap 2:

-STOP BEING RIGHT KNIVES

-ALSO STOP DISTRACTING ME FROM WOLFWOOD TIME

-ah yes, the classic, sweetest, full of angst potential "i will remind of you of your home and how you dont belong there anymore" card, good to see you here

-oh god i forgot about this part, geesus

-ah crap i love this tho, gives you time to actually take in everything that knives is causing. its so easy to gloss over it with some quick panels but to actually take the time...i love it

-ok ik they get absorbed by knives but the idea of them flying away and being free (for a bit) is so pretty, im happy for them

-...geesus christ

-YES MY GIRLSSSSSSSSS :D

-it makes you wonder what they did to stay alive actually, like you never think of that stuff ig

chap 3:

-wait they didnt know???? hold up....yeah ig that makes sense but...hmmm

-YEAH YOU TELL THEM LUIDA >:D

-:c

-ALSO interesting how the borders didnt go black to represent a flashback, so maybe it wants to show how present is that memory in luida's mind. wow

-"maybe hes been waiting for us to come and help him" aaaand thats enough to make me tear up, im the weakest bitch on the planet let me tell you

-YES SEE LUIDA GETS IT

-GET WRECKED BY THE EXISTENCE OF GOOD PEOPLE ASSHOLE

-OH MAN HES BREAKING

-COOL ASS PANEL ALSO

-oh shit so he hit some plants oh shit oh damn

-AH SHIT

-omg she looks so epic while killing people <3

-THERE HE IS HERE WE GO YES GO GET YOUR HUSBAND

-oh look its the man in the tin can lmao

chap 4:

-KILL HIM WOLFWOOD KILL HIM

-HALF A YEAR???? damn i always forget, this is still going at the speed of light tho

-aw no :c my baby :c

-then again i like that you can see that even if it was just half a year (literally nothing for vash) it still caused him pain and suffering, 10/10

-GEESUS BRO HE JUST GOT FREE

-oh shit oh shit no

-im not really sure how he escaped legato but im glad :D also vash is longgggg i lvoe it :3

-well thats just depressing livio

-pls leave livio

-KILL HIM KILL HIMMMM

-ok but vash being basically a ragdoll rn while wolfwood is fighting and bleeding breaks my heart let me tell you

-wolfwood shut the hell up ok? shut up, i dont wanna hear it

-oh im going insane :) i hate wolfwood so much rn (his crime was to say sad things)

-OH IT WAS HERE I ACTUALLY FORGOT THIS WAS THE MOMENT AWWW HOLY SHIT MY BOY

-YES SAVE YOUR HUSBAND

-"youre not lost wolfwood" wolfwood saying all that shit outloud and IK FOR A FACT vash's heart almost broke ik it i feel it

-baby dont apologize :c

-............................................................ :c

-ah fuck hes here

-WAIT HOLY SHIT THAT LIKE SHADOW OF LIGHT???? AMAZING???

-oh oh im sick to my little stomach i fear oh geesus my boy, my baby, im so happy that wolfwood is all you need but also im so sad you dont have anything else, do i make sense?

-threatening you brother and begging him to not sacrifice himself in the same breath...knives the plant that you are

-woooooooooooooooooooooooooow i love that shit, hes so little...

-PLS GOD LET THIS BE IN STAMPEDE PLS PLS I WANT A SCENE WITH BOTH OF THEM IN THE SKY SO BAD PLSSSS

-im not entirely sure what is happening but damn thats nasty

-NO DONT FUCKING SAY THAT

chap 5:

-LMAO HIS FACE XD

-welp...this is terrible

-nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo :c

-oh righttttt, i forgot about that plan, so thats why people called him chapel

-oh that panel with livio thats fucking brutal geesus nightow. like the old livio seems so pure and far away while the current livio is so violent and present

-my god he looks like shit

-MARLONNNNNNNNNNNNN :D

-oh meryl my girl :'3 omg shes the best

-im so depressed rn :D

-idc if hes rotting, sadly the man looks majestic af

-ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh oh ok

-NO DONT LEAVE PLS DONT FUCKING LEAVE PLS NO STAY STAY STAY STAY STAY STAY STAY STAY STAY

OH SHIT THIS IS FREE BIRD OH SHIT OH NO HELP HELPPPPPPPPPPPP

free bird time ig:

-freeeee biiiiird yeaah tururururururu

-wdym congratulations cmon man

-oh honey......

-awww :c

-oh wow now im DEPRESSED :D

-ugh that fucking face

-hes so cool sometimes >:D

-aw you made her cry :c

-"tired of filling a space in other peoples lives"....hmmmm

-aw :c

I hate whats coming i fucking swear.

[puppygirlsounding]

So it's been over a month now.

I'm pre-typing this. Going to drop this in your dms. I don't expect a response, and I'll take the hint and leave it at this if you don't respond.

I bet you still use your Tumblr, no idea if you still follow me because my list has been bugged for the better part of a decade. So If you saw some of my posts I'll be rehashing some things.

Long story short, Forced myself to be alone and completely lock away my emotions. I got so tired of it all I completely shut shop. Normally this would be the part where I'd admit how stupid and/or careless that was towards myself, my mental well-being, etc.

Except that it worked out somehow.

I still can't believe it myself, but it was like being compressed down into a new state of matter. Hitting rock bottom and realizing there was nowhere else to push the feelings, no one else to blame or use as a distraction. It made me finally come face to face with my self. My true, inner self and not the facade I've kept up for my entire life. A life of repression, anxiety and unmitigated hatred.

I spent 20 years basically trying to be anybody but myself because a handful of shitty people made me think it was a crime to exist. All of what I had been for the entire time you known me has been that pared down, sink water version. Too afraid of their own shadow judging them to be themselves.

And this isn't some "I totally re-invented myself nothing is wrong anymore lmao" level brainrot

I was still myself before, just incredibly neutered, and I chose to be that way for so much longer than I should have.

I still take responsibility for every way I acted and anything I've done

I'm finally able to say all this without it being run through a morass of epic irony or depression

I got to see myself for the first time, and show love inward so I can begin to regrow what was lost

So the past month has been crazy because of it, not hating every day you wake up sure does make time pass differently, it's felt like forever since we stopped talking, to the point I did a double take when looking at our dms

On a short list of notables, I came out to my coworkers as trans/bigender/genderfluid

Still.... Figuring that one out.

But my boss and trans friend coworker know, I have a support network for the first time.

I already naired all the hair off my arms once, and started displaying more femininity, as much as I can for now.

And I've stopped having my meltdowns and panic attacks.

I'm still as sensitive as ever, that is one of the things definitely still a part of me, it's just not being exacerbated by a roiling sea of vitriol tucked underneath the surface anymore.

So yeah, I'm not out here saying I'm some "completely new person" or something like that, but I am an incredibly different version of the Hunter you knew.

Which brings us to the topic at hand, and why despite all this positive change I haven't been able to bring myself to talk.

I'm scared

I'm scared I'm scared I'm scared.

Yes I felt the need to say it four times.

After learning to distance myself, resulting in finding myself. I realized a few days ago why I couldn't reach out to you like I had planned. At first I tricked myself into thinking I was mad. Made you out to be the problem in my head, because I didn't want to acknowledge I was being a coward. Because it hurts to look at flaws carved that deep right after coming out into the sun for the first time.

There are a lot of things that were said between us, I said some awful garbage. You said some things I want to believe we're in good faith, you trying look out for my best interests.

The fact of the matter is though, I lost it and lashed out because I was too afraid to address my real feelings and tell you how much you were hurting me unintentionally.

Doesn't excuse me trying to hurt you, but I'd I don't explain it this way I'll never be able to finish so just hang in there with me please.

So after all that, and the self discovery I was feeling great, cloud nine sublime.

But I still couldn't get over how we left off. Despite not being able to address it.

Because I learned the reason why socializing was so easy for me before was the fact that my love starved brain was primed to leap into the arms of anyone that would give it validation.

Now though, with the ability to self-actualize, love, and support my own mind... The thought of reaching out petrified me.

I'm finally learned how to not be a walking pipe bomb of human emotions after 25 years, but now the exact opposite was the issue.

I put distance between myself and everyone around me because the thought of putting myself back out into the world, and risking the little seedbed I had started was too much to handle.

So I'm telling you now, I'm scared. I'm afraid to even send this, and despite having my anxiety under control now, I'm still mortified about sending you this. Because I don't want to relapse, I don't want to go back. I'm starting over completely from scratch with my social skills almost, even the ones I can still use all have to acclimate to my new perspective.

The one where a potential friendship isn't all upsides, where I have to think about protecting myself first.

I still consider you the closest a person has ever come to really understanding me, and that means more than I could ever illustrate with words.

I've spent my whole life looking for it, and I don't want it to be a pipe dream.

I want you to be a part of my life as long as possible. I don't know if you could ever feel the same, but I'd spend an eternity with you if we could get us figured out.

That's it. Enjoy the novella. I'm going to go drown myself in chores now to try and feel better.

[shy-bee]

ReignBot Japanese Mockumetry

03:00 yeah i think i definitely missed something 

03:23 hahaha ‘lackluster narration’

05:27 mhm, also noted! if i remember to watch that 😭

05:30 ah!! it’s set in 2009! oof my bad lmao

05:46 that is a nice detail, since they are filming in a house they can’t just make a room bigger to accommodate a camera crew, so it’s very personable (if that’s the right word?) in each other’s space, breathing down each other’s necks.

07:04 yeah i did think it odd but yeah you didn’t have to think about it for too long… 45-25=20. eh the mother was at an okay age, not a concerningly young!

08:26 yikes! still spooked me now

09:42 i saw the shrine too! but i thought is was for the husband, but now i know i was wrong

15:28 oh she is 22! i thought that was a fake age… why did i think she was 25..???? i’m so confused

15:56 still wonder why he brought the bag in with him :/

16:52 kinda funny has they censored the head injury but not the website

18:01 ah! i didn’t even notice that was what that frame was showing… oops

18:58 yeah.. thought as much

19:22 ah!! that makes sense as to why she was able to get back! i must’ve missed that too

19:58 eh, i saw that too, that the family was helping him more there. ah! makes sense. i was too wrapped up him him being the bad guy i didn’t see people’s opinion of him change since i was the problem…. oof

20:54 i do wonder what the other papers mean

and i found that scene weird, the cameraman is just lingering filming. it’s just odd, i know it’s probably for the movie, but if it were more real maybe one would start recording half way through the shout? aiy what do i know?

21:14 oh fking hell! harsh words mother!

22:25 i thought it was weird! and creepy

22:58 why tf are there more knives in the fruits?? what did they do to you?? QAQ

23:52 hahahaha, wait what where supposedly doing, kissing right? i thought i heard them kiss

28:33 hehe still made me chuckle

30:40 i thought he was dead in that room tbh 😅… too much true crime

34:38 … i feel like i should’ve probably just watch the first youtube video and not make a 1 1/2 hour long video double it length with me pausing so often 😭

35:40 ah! the mother!! 👀☕️ go on

36:19 oh… did… did the mother kill the cat? *LE GASP* like she killed the chicken because it went into her garden??

37:53 ah… why did i think the mother to be… i have issues let’s just move on ha…ha

39:06 ah… is the mum trying to get them to have false memories about what happened?

39:20 AH!!! I SEE! taht explains why he was looking over so much?

39:51 omfg that one scared me. chills ewh

40:03 so it was a read hearing? she brought it up because her son brought it up?

40:25 oh wait pffft that’s another daughter! so this is what she got them to talk about? the photo to distract people from what actually happened?

40:50 me either sister! me either brother! creepy!!

42:25 ah creepy! did the mum push him? but nice work cameraman to make that camera angle make sense!!

43:33 ah! all in the fruits! i see! that is a good what time show that! the fruits as the kids!! mhm mhm

43:52 Ringo sweetie what are you doing?

wait Ringo was the first to call him father and that, could she be on the mothers side. to stay on this land so no one finds the dead husband under the plants, and that’s why the plants are so healthy because they have good nutrients… was she slowly poisoning her husband… no her daughter wasn’t a nurse then… i’ll continue watching sorry!

43:58 i did think that might be poison but she quickly had some herself so i disregard that

44:16 wait maybe it is. and in small bits it’s okay but after time and you eat more it slowly but surly clogs up and builds up to a life ending amount? the look Ringo gave the mother was a but sus (at 44:13)

44:56 same same!

46:05 when i heard the lady say their family name at the end i did like that it did sound like that but i didn’t want to be ‘that guy’ but say that now sounds dumb

47:11 i’ll have a snoop too to see if there are any more translations for the other signs! 🫡

48:16 thank you! i don’t feel as bad now!

48:27 i also thought that *cough*

49:16 yes yes detective! tell us your theories!!

49:42 hmmm i see, you’re cooking, continue

50:28 yeah, figured as much

50:56 wait-!! omfg!!! ah! that’s so cool!! that cat 😌🤍

that makes it feel so real!!

51:01 :000 oh my go-

good watch good watch!! thank you

saiko family

notes - to keep track

father Sumio 39 <- stepfather

previous husband Ura (went missing)

mother Tsukasa 45

2 daughter Mikan 24 (works as a nurse)

2 son Ryuta 17

^poured food on Sumio’s face

^probably into something pervert (prediction had before 20:20)

3 daughter Rie 16

^beats up Sumio

4 daughter Remon 13

4 son Dan 12

5 daughter Sumomo 6 (Sumio’s)

5 son Raichi 5 (Sumio’s)

(prediction at 10:28 the new husband killed the first husband and forced his way into the family)

(prediction at 13:28 the not-husband-husband does something creepy behind close doors that it creeps the children out but they can’t say. the mother can’t say any since she needs his help to pay for the kids)

1 son Gouki 23

(prediction at 15:04 something sus is up with the 1st son. maybe possessed, is the ‘real’ man of the house that the younger ones look up to)

???? Ringo

^maybe the oldest sister? she’s ‘missing’

1 daughter Ringo 25

^left hole after graduating from high school to go to university

^found work in Tokyo (3 years ago)

^stop contact 6 months ago

^she was against the marriage

^maybe works at a brothel (22:26)

(prediction at 22:56 Sumio probably did something to the oldest daughter so she runs away from home to get away from him, traumatised. he -Sumio- gets caught on a ‘dirty’ site and pretends it’s a lead on the oldest daughter)

(24:50 i don’t want to watch this 😭😭😭 this is so weird!! why would you book a from, at a brothel house, with your supposed daughter??? that’s so wrong, if you where worried try contacting the place or wait until her shift is over and try to talk to her!! don’t book an appointment!! 🤢🤢🤢!!!!)

(26:02 this is so awkward i wanna die, what the hell 🤢)

(prediction at 33:16 is he going g to slowly ‘kill’ off the other kids until is only his two kids?)

(prediction at 35:24 he hurt the 2nd son you be able to get the 1st daughter back)

Ringo

^got scammed into the industry

(prediction at 38:58 he’ll kill the boyfriend to bring her home?)

(40:46 i hope they expect her!! QAQ!!)

(41:41 please give her a hug!!! QAQ)

(43:56 …… no surprised)

(46:48 .. somethings fishy..)

(prediction at 46:50 i don’t think the mother wanted the marriage, maybe she agreed because or the film crew… she doesn’t seem happy, or he told her to shut up and stop talking)

(46:51 … or am i being too harsh on him. sure going to a brothel to see you step daughter is weird, very weird, but maybe he’s a good person….? we’ll see)

(48:54 not cookie… oh gosh, don’t say that infront of the kids, when they’re eating!! 😭)

(49:49 reminds me of that case where everyone was scared/revered the oldest daughter and they turned a blind eye to her madness and even put lotion in her even after she died)

(50:30 not the children crying 😭😭😭😭!! what a background noise to see hands gently caring for the planets!)

(52:14 aren’t you over spraying that plant?)

(54:14 did his tell his wife that? was he hoping the 3rd to leave? you just got back the eldest why ask is they want to leave?)

(prediction 54:56 the 3rd daughter is possessed)

(prediction at 55:22 or the oldest son?)

(prediction at 55:38 maybe something bad happens every year? like a once a year curse? but the children brought up a ghost so i don’t know what specifically it is)

3rd Son with first husband Tuakaharu (don’t know if i spelt that right) died at the age 9 (in 2001, don’t know when this is set but was made published on youtube in 2015 so give or take a year)

(57:16 oh sh!t i think it is something once a year!)

2001 - son dies

2002 - husband goes missing

???? - Ringo being tricked

???? - Gouki’s mental state

???? - Rie’s hostility/domestic violence

???? - Remon’s (?) bike accident

^one year the cat dies

Present - Ryuta’s fall from roof

(01:01:32 maybe the photo he wanted was the ‘ghost’ photo? he seems to be more down on the ground about that’s possible)

(01:01:46 oh!! maybe the head injury ‘cleared’ his head so he can think more clearly?)

(01:02:24 a g-g-g-ga-ghost! hahahaha… sorry)

(01:02:28 hopefully we can see the photo, or the spooky of the ‘unknown’ is scarier. allowing us to imagine what scary thing is shown in the image, because everyone has different tolerances to different things)

(01:02:40 never-mind 😭 spoke too soon!)

(01:02:46 pffftttt! hahahahaha, hahahahahahahahaha!!! thanks to that zoom hahhahaha i thought it was a normal photo pffft so thanks! hahahaha)

(01:03:00 oh lord she’s become a ghost hunter hahaha! with that look maybe she’s the one behind it! hahaha! her voice suits the lazy fill of how this documentary would’ve been made if it where a real one!

… i fill a bit bad. i keep pausing to type, it’s probably keeping from getting sucked into the story! sorry! but i’m going to continue doing this!)

(01:03:08 burn the photo?)

(01:93:14 hahahhaahahahHahahHhHhhaahahah a omfg hahahahahahaha)

(01:04:48 a nice homely vide it wraps you up in a nice warm blanket!)

(01:05:44 hehehe sneaky cameraman!)

(01:06:18 👀☕️)

(01:07:08 it is nice to see that the children are more happy! but i have a feeling Rie is about to rock the boat. maybe the older siblings have a plan or something to mess with the new dad?)

(01:07:30 … what a waste of food. and i was right)

(01:08:02 i feel like i shouldn’t be watching this…

since it’s real acting though these fight seems are a bit funny looking since the kicks/punches look weak but the father is good at acting hurt)

(01:08:37 EYH!! oh my… that one he definitely didn’t actually touch her, but still bloody hell!)

(01:09:12 …pfft… sorry i just can’t help but think about the cameraman standing up close a personal at this scene through his camera lens being like ‘good sh!t’ while his face stays in moved)

(01:09:22 …hmmm oof line… i’ll keep watching but i do think this father isn’t as innocent as he seems)

(01:09:44 …. now i feel bad QAQ)

(01:11:00 how much do you how much do you bet that she’s gone missing just poped out from existence like the father?)

(01:11:18 maybe call the police or something?)

(01:12:28 don’t push her of the bridge! don’t! i see you! don’t you dare!)

(01:012:40 i was about to say you don’t need to apologise… but they both should really, neither are really in the right here.)

(01:13:18 wow “you are… Nothing.” wow! i should get that tattooed one me pffft)

(01:14:09 what does this mean?)

(01:14:30 (?) good question)

(01:16:22 awh 😭😭😭)

(01:17:50 i guess she needed the slap of reality? there is still 20 minutes so i’m uneasy)

(01:18:14 MISS!!! it’s not you place! it’s bad enough you’ve filmed all of this, don’t poke your nose into who’s calling who father!!)

(01:19:04 with what money??? you can afford a house but a nice van for a camping trip??

what are you kidnapping them???)

(01:19:22 oh my! that sure was a jump-scare!! was not expecting to see him outside of that room!)

(01:19:30 … wait why does he has his bat with him? does it bring him comfort after facing a traumatic experience so he brings it around with him to feel safe? i don’t know… i feel uneasy again, sorry big brother!)

(01:20:07 so cute!!! heart is melting!!!)

(01:20:28 eh! put both poles in before you bend it! you’re making it harder for yourselves!!)

(01:21:56 omfg lady!! don’t ask such a question! they are two different people, two different fathers! they’d be different so don’t compare them! ehy!

before she asked that though it’s nice to see the children except him! they have seen him put his foot down, so i can see how that gave them some reassurance!)

(01:22:20 awh her smile!! QAQ!!! so precious!)

…. that poor gosh!! 🤢😭 sorry had to skip that

(01:23:24 awh..! to have them all day that T^T i’m not crying you are!)

(01:23:42 pfffft hahahaha then it just pans to her awkwardly/creepily watching from a distance… ha…

maybe she should had a series where she stays with a family for a month and buy the end of the month they are all sawn together with her magic hands)

hehehe!! ✨fire✨

(01:24:08 are they really a family? i feel after all this they’ll be close together and have a bond no? a bit like the weasley family. to act like a family for so long you’d have an emotional connection to them so maybe the joy they’re showing is real?)

tbh i thought the announcement was going to be another child lmao

(01:24:24 maybe the oldest son did have something happen, the way he’s acting makes me think maybe he has something, not in like a mean/bad way.

it nice that he’s being included into the family’s things now :D)

(01:24:55 protect the fire from the rain QAQ)

(01:25:33 i wonder if they planned the weather)

(01:26:15 oh gosh 😭😭😭😭 so precious)

(01:26:27 why am i waving goodbye?)

(01:27:40 what’s going on??)

(01:27:55 oooo that neat! to have the ‘open door’ button on the floor, stops the germs from getting in the hands!

but what about escapees who scroll on the floor and people with no legs/in a wheelchair)

(01:28:30 …. that sight brings back memories)

(01:29:24 … sus … did he push her down so he could get her and her husbands life insurance?)

(01:31:26 maybe that was the ghosts plan, to now keep sending you to the hospital to make you stay in the house. the injuries becoming -worse?- so it’s gets more power and causes you to stay longer and it continues)

(01:31:51 ah! the eldest boy! eating with the family! very proud!)

(01:33:02 awh he’s also out there with the father!

i’m just worried the reason why i watched this was because another youtube video said that there was horror, or something like that and to watch it before the video, maybe i missed something in all this.. if so, oof!)

(01:33:19 pffft nothing to the actor, her dead eyes as selling this… well

01:33:22-24 i guess you could say there is warmth her looking at a family endearingly)

(01:33:28 the deadpan voice- so i’ve tried not to talk about it much- pffft-)

[halloweenhoneylover]

the window

summary: reader gives spencer a really cute holiday gift, and he really, really appreciates it (spencer reid x gn!reader)

word count: 2.7k

author’s note: this was supposed to be a blurb lmao. also anon, u did not specify gender, so this is gender neutral!!! also, this is for the holiday season and isn’t specific to christmas (aside from mentions of secret santa gift exchange). also also, spencer knits canonically.

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID.

Rolling your eyes, you closed the seemingly menacing pop-up on your screen and continued to finish up your paperwork. A few seconds passed before a second pop-up appeared.

DO NOT CLOSE MY MESSAGES!!!

You heaved a sigh and stood, making your way to Garcia’s lair. Pushing the door open, you skipped a greeting entirely and chided, “Dude, you gotta stop sending scary pop-ups to my computer. People are gonna start thinking that unsubs are hacking the FBI and threatening agents.”

From beneath her horn-rimmed glasses, Penelope tutted and chewed the end of her pen. “You are no fun. Besides, you are forgetting my immensely cool and mysterious origin story. ‘The Black Queen’ was not one of the good guys!”

“That’s true,” you admitted, “but you’re one of us now, so that means no more suspicious messages unless you want to be fired.”

She gave you a contemptuous glare, “Not gonna happen. Also, I’m really shocked that you thought you could distract me from the matter at hand.”

Furrowing your brow, you replied, “I don’t even know what the matter at hand is.”

Garcia’s smirk curled devilishly. “You and Reid.”

Further confusion ensued. “And what about us?”

She groaned and threw her head back, “Oh my god, you really are dragging this out. I know that you did not get him for Secret Santa, but you still got him a present.” The quirking of her eyebrows was enough to indicate that she meant more than what she was saying, and you were hesitant to explore the implications.

“Okay, first of all, it is illegal to look at my credit card history, and secondly, he is my best friend, so yes, I got him a present. Is that a crime?”

“Certainly not...but this does solidify the fact that you’re in love with him.”

“Dear god, Garcia, I am not in love with Spencer Reid.”

The look she gave you was one of utter incredulity. Her disbelief was so strong in fact that she did not deign your statement worthy of verbal response. Instead, she sat there. Staring. And under her rather unnerving gaze, you began to fidget, your resolve slowly dissolving. Squeezing your eyes shut, you relented. 

“Okay, maybe I am the littlest, tiniest bit in love with Spencer Reid.”

“Well, duh, but what I really need to know is when you’re gonna tell him.”

“When? Garcia, this is not a ‘when’ question. Actually, it’s not a question at all because never in a million years would I ever tell him.”

“Why not?” she exclaimed, gesturing with her pen still in hand. “You spend almost all of your time together, at work and at home! You guys go to bookstores and museums and cafes. He talks about his silly little statistics, and you listen, and you make your silly little jokes, and he laughs; you’re a match made in heaven! And he’s so obviously into you! That boy writes the definition of heart eyes every time he looks at you.”

Steeling your jaw, you rebutted, “That’s just not true.” Your voice faltered. “Sure, I’ve noticed a certain...affection, but he does not love me in the same way I love him.” You let out a shaky breath before deciding to continue. “Did you know that in all of our years of friendship he’s never touched me? I mean sure, it’s happened once or twice in the field, but that was always an accident. And yeah, I know he has his thing with germs, but don’t you think if he liked me as anything more than a friend, he would have done something by now? A pinky promise, a teasing elbow jab—I don’t know—something?”

Penelope’s face softened, and she tried to recover your confidence. “He’s like that with everyone! He likes his space. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him initiate contact with anyone on the team.”

 “But isn’t that the point, Garcia? I’m just like everyone else to him. He wants space from me.” Bitterness roiled in your stomach and dripped from your tongue. “Not very romantic, huh?” 

Trying to piece together a counterargument, she stumbled slightly, “No, I will give you that.” She paused. “But I think he’s just scared. Not of germs, not of you, but of his feelings for you. He’s not the most well-adjusted person I know.”

You chuckled lightly, gradually resuming your normally light-hearted disposition, “I would agree.”

“Well, I hope he likes his present.”

The semblance of a tired smile graced your face. “Yeah, me too.” 

You turned to walk out and had almost made it out the door when her voice stopped you. “Also, I will stop sending suspicious pop-ups to your computer.”

Peeking back through the doorway, you grinned.“I think it’d be for the best. Texting does exist for a reason.”

——— 

It had been a really good day. It wasn’t often where an entire day in the bullpen passed only with friends and laughter and love and light, but today was one of them. Snow fell silently outside the windows, but everything inside felt warm like laughing so hard that your cheeks ache and your stomach hurts.

By now, a sort of daze had befallen the team as the giddiness wore on and the alcohol set in, fuzzing eyes and minds. Most everyone had paired off after the gift exchange a few minutes prior, but no one had drifted too far. (Maybe it was the team instinct: never stray too far from the pack, but it was also likely that everyone just enjoyed the proximity to their loved ones, their family.) Garcia seemed to be in heaven, tucked into Morgan’s side on a couch that had been dragged haphazardly into the bullpen, and murmured conversation stretched on with intermittent peals of laughter. Predictably, Hotch and Rossi had sequestered themselves to a nearby desk, their scotch glasses never dry and grins never fading. (Hotch during the holidays was something special. His often frigid demeanor thawed, and out from the ice peeked his former self who wasn’t so serious. (His rare giggles were quite the surprise though.)) Emily and JJ sat on the latter’s desk, discussing anything and everything (except for psychopathic murderers), while you had pulled your chair up to sit beside Spencer at his desk. 

“So are you pleased about your gift from Rossi?” you asked, a faint grin playing at your lips.

“I am,” he replied, clearly enthused. “But I don’t think I’ll ever understand how he managed to get an authentic TARDIS key.” His finger traced the edge of the authenticity certificate Rossi had bestowed on him that sat on his desk; the key was already hanging around his neck.

You raised your eyebrows and nodded. “Well, money is a powerful thing.”

“True,” he mused before furrowing his brow. “But that’s another thing, the expense limit is not a suggestion, but he always treats it like it is. Puts all the rest of us to shame.”

“There’s no shame in an inexpensive gift!” you argued. “As long as time or thought was put in, it doesn’t matter.”

“Penelope surely didn’t skimp on time spent for yours,” he said, pointing to the homemade knitted hat and glove set on the desk beside you.

“No, I did not!” she yelled from her spot on the couch, somehow having managed to pick up on your conversation, and you laughed. “Lots and lots of time and love was poured into those!” Her speech was slightly slurred as her eggnog intake began to infringe on her lucidity.

“I know this, and I love you for it,” you beamed at her.

“I love you too.” She proceeded to bury her face in Derek’s shoulder who could only chuckle at her antics. 

You picked up a glove and inspected it. “I truly cannot comprehend how she made these. Circular knitting needles are my living hell.”

Sitting up with renewed interest, Spencer said, “If you need help with them, I could lend a hand. I knit my mom a sweater this year, and I think I finally understand how they work if you ever wanted me to show you.”

“I’d love that.” Hopefully, the flush of your cheeks could be blamed on the wine you had had. “Speaking of your mom, how is she? Are you excited to see her?”

The corners of his mouth turned up, and he nodded. “She’s good; her nurse said she’s been doing really well lately. She’s less paranoid, more alert, so I’m really excited. I think this will be a good trip.”

“I’m so glad!” You sat there with a dumb smile for a moment, your mind lagging for a moment (damn wine) before realization crashed onto you. “Wait, speaking of your mom, I have something for you!” He cocked his head to the side as you stood up and went to your desk, rifling through one of the drawers. Pulling out a neatly wrapped gift, you trotted back over and offered it to him. “This is for you.”

He took it, running a hand over the wrapping paper (it was the one with cowboys wearing Santa hats that you had found when shopping together a couple weeks before, his favorite). “(Y/N), you didn’t have to get me anything.”

Shrugging lightly, you said, “Yeah, I know we did the whole gift exchange thing, but I saw it, and I thought of you and had to get it.” And you definitely did not actively seek this out for him in the search for his perfect present. Which is something somebody who is definitely not in love with him would do.

He looked up at you, eyes already glassy and searching your face for something. You weren’t sure what he was looking for, but then he met your gaze with unwavering certainty. “Thank you, (Y/N/N).”

“No problem, ya big sap, now open it already.” 

Ever the cautious one, he opened it carefully, sliding a finger under the edge of the paper and gently easing the tape up. The small action of unwrapping a present so attentively was just so Spencer your heart swelled as you suppressed the growing grin. From the paper emerged a book.

“‘A Collection of Poems by Geoffrey Chaucer,’” he murmured, smoothing a hand over the cover.

When he didn’t immediately react, seemingly frozen, nerves crept up the back of your neck, and you sputtered out some sort of reasoning. “I know your mom used to read Chaucer to you; you mentioned ‘The Parliament of Fowls’ when we worked the Fisher King case, and it’s in this collection, and I thought it’d be fun for you to take it to Vegas and read it together and—”

Your explanation came to an abrupt halt as Spencer threw his arms around you, enveloping you in a bone-crushing hug. Immediately melting into it, you embraced him with a similar intensity and buried your face in his neck. Something in his touch allowed you to let go, and it felt like the moment you could finally exhale. 

A breath you’d been holding for longer than you could remember. 

You could smell the cologne that he wore for ‘special occasions’ and his shampoo and something so faint but so undeniably him, and his hand slid up to the back of your head, cradling it in the most tender fashion, and you felt like you could cry. So you pulled him closer, and he did the same.

The hug definitely lasted longer than what most people would find comfortable, but neither of you could be convinced to retreat until you became aware of the silence that had settled over the bullpen. You felt the many pairs of eyes on you, and it pained you to pry yourself off of Spencer. Breathless, you looked around at the shocked faces of your co-workers who sat with mouths agape and eyes wide. You coughed slightly to try to ease the tension and then for some reason beyond your knowledge, you decided to wave at them in the most awkward fashion. Sitting back down, you could feel stares lingering as conversation resumed, and you looked up at Reid who looked like a deer in headlights. You laughed quietly, tugging his sleeve until he received the memo and sat down again. 

He cleared his throat and avoided eye contact, glancing at his present. “Thank you for the book, (Y/N/N).”

“You’re welcome,” you replied, your tone earnest as ever. Still reeling from the hug, you faintly became aware of the speed of your heartbeat and unconsciously brought a hand to your chest. You attempted fruitlessly to sort through your raging thoughts, while across from you, Spencer tried to think of something, anything to say now. 

He couldn’t really believe he’d done it. His germaphobia remained everpresent, but somehow the emotion welling in his chest at your sincerity and benevolence had overridden it, and he felt helpless in stopping himself. His heart had lurched in his chest as if it was suddenly struck with the need to be in your hands, propelling him forward. But it wasn’t like he hadn’t wanted to. He had wanted to for so long, but he’d never mustered the courage before. There was something so special, so intimate about touch, and so many people gave it so freely, and he just didn’t understand how they could allow themselves the indulgence. The absolute luxury of giving and receiving love. Spencer often felt like he sat by a window, watching his life pass by outside of it, and he had always wanted to open it, to really experience all the joy and all the grief and all the love that was waiting for him, but it was scary to open himself up to those feelings and the hurt that could ensue. So, he usually sat discontented by his window. But today, it was like he’d grabbed a hammer and smashed the glass completely and stepped through to be able to return the love you had offered him. 

It felt so good.

But now, he had no idea what to do. He stood there in the midst of the shattered glass, and deep down, he knew had to take the last couple steps to get to you, but he didn’t know how. 

His fingers fidgeted in his lap as he analyzed your blank face, trying to find something to give him the next direction when a realization hit him. “I didn’t get you anything!”

Drawn back from the depths of whatever thought you had been stuck in, you met his gaze and shook your head. “Seriously, don’t worry about it. I broke the gift exchange rules to get you something, so you had no way of knowing.”

“But I feel terrible.” His eyebrows drew together, and he frantically tried to think of some way to repay you. “You get me an incredibly lovely and wonderfully thoughtful gift, and I’m the loser who didn’t get his best friend a present!”

“Spencer—”

“Wait!” he interrupted, a revelation arriving. (He knew how to take the last steps.) “When I get back after the holidays, do you want to get dinner with me? Then, we can go to the bookstore on 10th that you love, and you can pick out a book, and I’ll pay.”

Your eyes widened further than you thought possible, and your heart which had only partially recovered was off to the races once again. You decided to take the plunge and ask the burning question. “Do you—um, do you mean like a date?”

“Yeah,” he answered, beaming so brightly. “Yes. Like a date. If you want to.”

You held each other’s gaze, and the warmth that had filled the bullpen all day filled your chests, and you smiled so hard your faces hurt. 

So silly, you thought, to have wasted all this time boarding up my affection and keeping it tucked away, safe and useless.

So ridiculous, he thought, to have sat by that stupid window for so many years when the real thing feels so sweet.

“I think I’d like that a lot.”

[dreamescapeswriting]

Hopeless Romantic ~ OT7 [Request]

➳➳➳Word Count: 2.5K

➳➳➳Paring: ot7 x reader

➳➳➳Genre: Floffy with a tiny bit of angst

➳➳➳A/N: I hope this is okay sweetie!! As a secret lover of the romance books I appreciated this ask lmao

To everyone else on the outside of the relationship, you were just close friends with BTS, which was partially true you were close friends but it went deeper than that. Somehow you'd managed to get yourself into a polyamory relationship with the best seven guys you'd ever met in your life. You'd been friends with Yoongi since you were kids and you'd always had a crush on him but ignored the feelings wanting to stay friends with him instead of ruining your bond together but as you grew older and closer your feelings began to grow and became mutual but so did the feelings that the other members had for you. Then one very drunken night lead to a whole night of long conversations and confessions, talking through emotions and how much you liked them all and that was it...You were in a relationship, but sometimes it did just feel like a friendship it wasn't as it was portrayed in movies or TV shows. It wasn't all sex all of the time with all of them, it was movie nights while you cuddled up to one another, going out together as a group but acting as friends until you got home, date night with one of them every day of the week. Being there for one another when the other one needed it, it was just how a normal relationship would work but with 6 other people involved. You'd been together for a year and so it was a well-oiled machine and it all worked perfectly fine with no problems, sure there were the occasional fights like in all relationships but they were resolved quickly.

"Y/n? Are you coming?" Namjoon asked waving his hand in front of your face to get your attention, you snapped your attention away from your phone and looked up at him to nod.

"Sure, sorry. World of my own." You laughed locking your phone and sliding it into your handbag, it was date day with Namjoon and he was taking you out book hunting which was a good thing because your favourite writer had just released a new book that morning and you had been dying to get it.

"You're always in your own world, it's cute." He mumbled kissing the top of your head and handing you your car keys, you looked at him and then walked out of the front door without a  goodbye since all the boys were asleep still.

"You need to learn to drive you know, I can't keep being your little chauffeur all your life." You giggled looking at the paparazzi that were waiting outside the gates of the dorms to get a glimpse at the boys. Namjoon laughed at your poor attempt of teasing him and helped you into the car. You could no longer act like a couple now there were cameras watching so you just poked your tongue out at him and pulled out of the driveway heading in the direction of town.

"I'll never get used to seeing them out there," You laughed trying to make light-hearted conversation, Namjoon had strong feelings about being seen in public with you he didn't mind being seen with you but there was to be no hugging or acting in any way a couple would it was the same with all the boys but Namjoon was the most strict on it whereas Taehyung would hug you all day long cameras or not.

"Yeah, it's still a little surreal to me, where are we going first?" He questioned looking over at you as you pulled onto the highway,

"I have to stop at the main bookshop first but then I'm down to go to the market for the rest of them," He nodded in agreement with you and you drove with music playing softly in the background.

"Hey what are you getting? I can't seem to find anything I like in here," Namjoon said coming over to you with a smile on your face, you clutched the four books you'd picked up into your chest not wanting him to see the first one you had.

"Just some psychology ones and a true-crime one for me and Yoongi to read tomorrow." Which was all true except you neglected to mention the new romance novel that was situated the closest to your chest so he couldn't see, but he knew there was something off because your cheeks were getting hot and you kept looking away from him something you only did when you were lying.

"I'll get them for you, my treat." He went to take them but you clutched them tighter,

"What do you have in there? Erotica?" He laughed looking at the line as you moved down a space, the elderly lady in front of you scoffed at you both and you rolled your eyes at her. If it was erotica you would feel less awkward about carrying it, but it was a secret guilty pleasure you had. You were a sucker for the romantic books, all of the classics and all of the new cheesy ones you would find stacked up in charity shops. You couldn't help it, but it was a secret you were going to take to the grave, you didn't want anyone to know about it.

"It's not Erotica." You giggled looking around the shop for something to distract Namjoon with,

"They have your guys book in here, go and check that out." He looked over his shoulder to see Into The Magic shop sitting on display and he left you in the line.

"You should never hide your favourite books." The elderly lady from in front of you said, turning around to look at you she was smaller than you and was carrying a basket full of them.

"It's just a guilty pleasure." You told her showing her the new romance novel you'd picked up, then she showed you the same one sitting in her basket.

"You go before me dear, I'll be here a while." You stepped in front of her and began getting served, asking for a bag so you could hide the books inside.

The day continued as normal you found smaller bookshops to go and explore and walked through the market with Namjoon to find smaller bookstalls with second-hand books that needed a home. You had a problem, you could never walk past a book shop or stall without going in and buying something. It was impossible. By the end of the day, you were home with four bags full of books ready to add to the neverending bookshelves in Namjoon's study upstairs in the dorms.

"We might as well own our own library at this point." He pointed out looking at the now full four floors to ceiling bookshelves.

"Hey! It's not just me that enjoys these, we all do. I caught Kookie reading one of your art history books the other morning." You told him as you hide the bag full of your secret books outside the door, Namjoon was so distracted he hadn't noticed but the action hadn't gone unnoticed by Jin who was standing outside of the door.

"What's this?" He picked it up and you screamed at him not to look inside,

"What's inside the bag?" Jin asked lifting it up in the air so you couldn't rip it from his hands, you jumped up in an attempt to grab it from him but he smirked holding it up higher.

"I think our little girlfriend is hiding something from us Joonie." Jin teased watching as you desperately tried to retrieve the bag.

"Please, I'll cook dinner tonight if you just give me the bag." The bag was put back in your hands by Jin who was supposed to be the cook for the night, gladly giving it to someone else for a change so he didn't have to listen to the boys complaining again.

"Jin!" Namjoon scoffed watching as you ran out of the room to hide the books in the spare room you always slept in whenever you went to a sleepover at the dorms. You lifted up the loose floorboard under the double bed and stashed them inside with the others getting up a couple of seconds later to go and prepare dinner for them all.

"Hobi can you help me?" You asked as you walked through the living room, he was watching Taehyung, Jungkook and Jimin playing video games and nodded following you into the kitchen and asking what needed doing first.

"Can you wash all the vegetables and start cutting them? I'll work on the meat then." You gave him a quick kiss on the lips before getting on with your work.

"Jungkookie you put that piece of pork down right now or so help me God I will stab you with that chopstick," Jungkook stared at you,

"You're not even looking at me how did you-"

"She's got eyes in the back of her head," Yoongi said to Jungkook before he could finish his sentence, you sighed looking back at them and sitting down on your chair,

"What's taking Namjoon and Jimin so long?" You questioned looking over your shoulder,

"Just eat, the food will get cold soon." You mumbled looking down at your plate they were never late for food.

"Guys?!" You called out getting up from the table and walking over to the staircase,

"Food!" You heard chuckling and then footsteps so you walked back into the dining room and sat down to eat, Taehyung handed you some water and you began to drink it.

"We know what it is." You heard Jimin announce as he walked into the room, he sat down at the table and pushed pork into his mouth.

"You know what, what is?" You questioned looking just as confused as everyone else at the table, a bag was dropped into the middle of the table and you almost choked on air as your eyes landed on it.

"Your favourite book." You stared up at Namjoon as he rushed your shoulders with a giant smirk on his face,

"You went into the guest room?" Jin asked looking at the boys who were chuckling to one another, Yoongi reached into the middle of the table first to see what was in the bag but he caught a glimpse of your face and stopped himself.

"She doesn't want us to see." He mentioned looking at Taehyung who went to look anyway,

"It can't be that bad." He pulled out the first book and read through the blurb before turning to you,

"So you like cheesy romance novels, what's wrong with that?" The second part of his sentence was directed at Jimin and Namjoon who were still laughing heavily together. It didn't make you feel any better than they were all staring at you and taking out books, only making Namjoon and Jimin laugh harder at you.

"Okay! I get it!" You yelled pushing the chair back and making Namjoon move away from you,

"I like cheesy books! Okay! I like the idea of being swept off my feet by someone, or falling in love by one touch." Your eyes were filled with tears as you explained yourself,

"I liked the idea of meeting a stranger in a bookshop and falling hopelessly in love! I loved the sound of falling for someone without knowing them!" You began crying and walked out of the dining room and sprinting up the stairs and into the spare bedroom where you cried into the pillows.

"See what you did!" Yoongi yelled looking at Namjoon and Jimin who were hanging their heads low, Yoongi walked up the stairs to talk to you but the door was locked.

"Y/n...Y/n talk to me, it's just me." He knocked on the door but all he could hear was your broken sobs as you cried into a pillow, it was stupid to cry about but the way they were laughing at you really hurt your feelings.

"Y/n, let me in," Yoongi begged but you weren't going to move, you felt awful for singling him out but he would want you to go and talk to the boys and right now you just wanted to cry. Yoongi had always been the kindest towards you, though he came across as cold to everyone who didn't know him he was the sweetest guy you'd ever met and was always there when you needed him.

"Text me when you want to talk." You heard his retreating footsteps and you sniffled against the pillow, wanting to leave the dorms but you knew you couldn't because it would mean facing all seven of them at once.

A couple of hours later Jimin heard your door unlock and the bathroom door close so he knew you were out,

"Joon, she's up." They waited at the bottom of the stairs to see what you were doing and when they heard you go back into the spare room without locking the door they made their way up to go and see you. Namjoon knocked first,

"Y/n?"

"What do you want Joonie?" He pushed the door open to see you sitting on the bed, your hair was up in a messy bun, your eyes were bloodshot and you were wearing one of Jungkook's oversized shirts that looked like you were swimming in it.

"We didn't mean it the way it came out." Jimin spat out walking into the room and sitting beside you on the bed, Namjoon followed sitting on the opposite side and watching as you laid your head on Jimin's shoulder.

"I shouldn't have overreacted-"

"No, you had every right. We were mean and we shouldn't have gone into your room without asking." Namjoon whispered holding your hand and rubbing his fingers along your knuckles, you sniffled and looked at him.

"We're sorry," Jimin whispered kissing the top of your head and linking his hand with your free one, Namjoon sighed looking at you.

"Are you hungry? I'll order you some food and then we'll watch a movie together, me you and Jimin?" You shook your head, your head was pounding from crying so much and you honestly just wanted to fall asleep.

"I'm tired," You answered, Jimin looked at Namjoon and started getting up from the bed. It was his night to fall asleep with you but in all honestly, you wanted to fall asleep beside them both. It wasn't something uncommon between you, you'd fallen asleep beside Yoongi and Hobi after a night together,

"C-Can Jimin stay too?" You asked Namjoon who was laying down behind you,

"Sure." He whispered kissing the base of your neck, Jimin got back into the bed and you snuggled against his chest letting Namjoon cuddle you from behind.

"I'm sorry I cried." You whispered as you closed our eyes listening to Jimin's heartbeat,

"No, we're sorry we made you cry," Namjoon whispered in your ear rubbing small patterns into your exposed arm. Jimin kissed your head softly and you stayed there until you all fell asleep.

tagline: 

@yoongisdumplingcheeks @snowy-meowl @lynnthevirgo @jooniesdarlingdimples @kpopfanfictionhoes @lyoongx @callingmyangel @fan-ati--c @mitzwinchester @rjsmochii @btsiguess-kpop 

[meetmeatthecoda]

(star emoji) for Grifting With The Enemy :D

Pumpkin!! 🧡🧡🧡 Hello, my dear friend, thank you so much for your endless interest & support!! 😍😍 And for giving me a reason to re-read GWTE, which I haven't done for a loooong time!! 😂😬 (But, the good news is, it low-key got me inspired to hurry up & finish it!! 😏) BUT - in the meantime - here's some BTS info from my re-read under the cut, which is a lot - fair warning - since it's a 4 chapter fic & counting!! ❤️

LOL I forgot how stressful it is coming up with names for random extra people in fics, I hate doing that LOL But I did think it was important to open with Red NOT being a merciless crime lord who kills anyone who displeases him, cause - while he does have that side to him when necessary - that's not who Red is or wants to be.

I liked including that little moment with Red & Dembe about the parallel parking. I love those father/son & brotp moments for them, they're just the best. I tried to sprinkle those in wherever I could in Red's POV in this fic.

I loved the mental picture of Liz - with glasses & beanie a la The Harem - just leaning casually against a bookshelf the first time Red sees her... & he's immediately captivated, just like in canon. Especially with her eyes, I can't NOT write any version of Red that is not completely blown away by Liz's eyes, I mean, come on I also thought it was important that he thinks she's much younger than she is (intentionally part of her persona) & I'm looking forward to writing the reveal of her true age in a later chapter.

I loved writing a Liz that instantly challenges Red, already having heard about him (& more than that, as revealed in chapter 2) & point blank telling him she may refuse the job bc she has a say too. I liked keeping - & even amplifying a little - that dynamic from canon!Liz of always surprising Red & keeping him on his toes, all while he's trying so desperately to stay ahead of her & impress her.

I LOVED writing the brush pass scene - that moment where Red realizes he has officially underestimated her - & LOL I completely forgot I wrote that part about the condom LMFAO wow past!Coda, mighty daring of you 😂😂😂

Plus, I couldn't help the bonus bit about her stealing his phone & tossing it to him to end the chapter, that was just so fun to throw in there!!

I liked opening chapter 2 with Red still thinking about Liz, just to show how she captured his attention, even before he finds out she's been stealing from him. And I liked writing that revelation without any anger on his part, with him understanding it wasn't a full-scale attack on his empire, she's just a thief taking well paying jobs where she can get them, & instead it just shows him how talented she is. I thought that was an important thing to clarify before moving forward.

I LOVED writing Red & Dembe surprising Liz in her apartment, especially the part with Red's snooping & being confused & surprised by what he sees there. I loved kind of creating/designing Liz's apartment to showcase her true self, not her "young thief" persona that Red falls for at first. I wanted it to be clear that Red is fascinated by her seeming duality from the start (canon LOL) as well as just straight-up attracted to her (also canon LMAO).

Also I gave Liz a loft apartment cause I've always loved those!!

And I LOVEDDD writing Red super confident about surprising her & looking forward to taking her off guard by settling in on the couch & all that macho man stuff, only to be rendered fucking dumbstruck when she comes downstairs with no pants on lmfao & I included that little detail of her usually wearing a knife on her leg to show she's not to be underestimated 😏 & I couldn't help but throw in there Dembe kicking the back of the couch, that made me cackle lmfao

I think the truce was important to establish asap bc I didn't want any secrets or lingering animosity between them. That's for canon 😒 Only flirting & sexual tension here, thank you very much.

I had to include Red being a gentleman & asking if she wanted to get dressed, but I also couldn't resist Liz being confident & careless about it, while still hiding tactfully behind the counter. I thought that was a cute exchange.

lmfao of course, I included their coffee preferences being noticed by the other, I think that's an obligatory thing in any Lizzington fic ever, I'm so guilty of that lmfao

I loved the idea of Red being ready to start on a classic Red's Blacklister Presentation but Liz once again stops him in his tracks (while still secretly being impressed by his presence, of course, & I even accidentally switched POVs for no reason to include that?? nice Coda lmfao) as well as trading barbs & quips with him while Red feels awful & guilty at any accidental slights bc he can't bear to insult her.

AM&R vs. AR&M whoops typo lol

I liked the little snippet of dark!Red we see in their conversation of consequences for his enemies, that way Liz sees a little bit of what he's capable of & Red sees how she's not phased by it.

And that last little flirtation & wink to finish the chapter - lol can't resist

Ooooh, I loved switching to Liz's POV (fully ha) for chapter 3, I enjoyed describing how head over heels she is for Red already, that was fun. I liked writing about her lil movie day & chores she's completed, as well as fleshing out her AU past a little with Sam & her young grifting experiences. And her burning her popcorn while daydreaming about Red cause... same 😏

Ooooh, phone conversations are always so fun to write between them, I love trying to get that perfect mix of joking & sincerity & flirting & pining & pressing the phone close to their ear.

I thought it was important to keep (or rather re-invent, since TPTB seemed to drop it like a hot potato 😒😒😒) Liz's intense interest & respect for psychology, especially as a reason for being attracted to Red, since it kind of mirrors one facet of his interest in her. Not to mention Red thinks at first that it's just a useless, do nothing degree for her LOL

Ohhh, I loved establishing that mutual respect & friendliness between Liz & Dembe early on, that's such a fave of mine, I've always loved their friendship & thought it had a lot of potential. Liz loves & respects Dembe for keeping Red safe & Dembe loves & respects Liz for being so dear to Red.

Ugh, I LOVED writing Liz so completely disarmed by Red's relative state of undress at his safe house (paralleling her pants-less parade in chapter 2, of course) bc sameeeeeeee girl.

I also had fun writing Red blabbing on about some story as he often does, meanwhile Liz has already picked the lock on the safe, once again impressing & surprising him while she admires his different passport pics. That was so fun.

And I loved the quick shift to just a little animosity between them with Red insulting her lockpicks & Liz flaunting her thefts from him. I think those little spats give a little electricity & tension to the relationship, even if they blown over quickly, which they always do. And the fact that Red apologizes & they shake hands & make up is very refreshing to me (since they never fucking do it in canon lol fml) & also it's an excuse to write a little teasing physical contact & sexual tension 😁😁😁

And damn, I forgot how fun it is to throw a little teasing jab in there at the end of a chapter, just for fun - probably bc I'm allergic to multi-chapter fics & never write them lmfao wow

Ahhhhhhhh. I remember how much fun I had writing this whole restaurant scene, partly bc it was a difficult & long process (trying not to make all the flirting & physical movements repetitive while fitting in all the necessary dialogue in a semi-non-boring way lol) but also bc it was so fun writing their back-and-forth while seated at a table alone with nowhere else to go & nothing to distract them. I also wanted to take the opportunity to show Red's genuine interest in her as a person & let them spend some quality time together for the first time. I loved the idea of them losing track of time & Dembe having to come interrupt them with a knowing smirk. Also I def referred to the Olive Garden website for the food they ate cause I'm lame lmfaooo

I thought it was cute to throw in that Liz almost couldn't find Red when she arrived but for the fedora marker he placed out for her & then when she's leaving, she can feel his gaze on her the whole way out. Little parallels like that are my guilty pleasure 😁

Omggg I forgot about the end of this chapter, I remember I wanted Red to surprise Liz yet again & I thought the dessert snuck into her bag was a cute touch. Plus, tiramisu is a favorite of mine 😋 I also tried to make the vibe of this phone call a little softer & more tentative, not so much on tender hooks with lots of tension as the previous ones have been, showing how they're getting used to each other & falling in love at a break neck pace lol

Welp, that's all 4 chapters that are posted buttttttttt a sneaky look at my document that I haven't opened for an embarrassingly long timeeeeeee shows my sketch for the rest of the fic which revealssssss....... a detailed 10 chapter map with an epilogue!! Wow, I forgot I sketched everything out in such detail, this isn't too bad, maybe I should actually write this 😂😂😂 And I promise I will, hopefully sooner rather than later!! ❤️❤️❤️

Well, there you go, Pumpkin, I hope that didn't take you too long to slog through & there was something enjoyable in there for you!! 😂 Thank you so much for your interest again, my lovely friend, & getting me excited about this fic again!! 🥰 Much love to you, always, Pumpkin!! 🧡

Fanfic Writers: Director's Cut

[cakeandpi]

Parker!! spoilers abound

hm, so Harry (aka Lawyer) has been fired/let go and no one gave him the memo on it. Is his old job/boss going to be this episodes mark?

oof, Harry is bad at being subtle with his ‘okay look in [place]’ comm directions

ah okay so isn’t a legal firm that’s about representing their clients to the best of their ability. it’s a firm whose about smoothing bad things over for rich clients so that there’s little to no consequences.

“I remember when you wanted to change the world.”/“World did change. We just went along for the ride.” So the world changed the boss, the boss gave up on changing the world because he saw a way to profit from it and didn’t care that he hurt others along the way.

The way that car drove up onto the curve, I thought that was Sophie in a big hurry at first. (I would have thought Parker but there wasn’t enough time for her to crack the safe, get to the relevant files, get out, and then drive there.) But no, it’s Maxwell’s thugs because the man holds a grudge apparently. So I’m going to guess he’s going to be the season big bad? Or is he just a 2-episode bad guy and we’ll find out who the real big bad is later?

Hardison: listing various problems on various international efforts he’s helping with Eliot: let’s make this a restaurant metaphor Hardison: *very much regretting ever buying Eliot that brewpub*

Nuts and bolts about bad guy details

Also that bit about Hardison being distracted by problems is definitely a distraction, there’s no way he’d pause on making sure their safehouse was secure

Eliot is not so much pissed as insulted that the world is at the point of advertising the corruption rather than him needing to beat it out of someone.

drone!!

*snort* eliot's usually the grouchy one, and he’s carrying a trashcan right now. there’s no way hardison doesn’t make some oscar the grouch joke once he sees that.

“It’s like you never stopped.”/“Yeah. Quite the act.” Sophie slows down at Hardison’s comment, then sighs and sits. She’s finding this tiring now. Is it because she’s out of practice? Or because after so many years of retirement, her hearts not in it anymore? And Hardison notices. He doesn’t say anything concrete immediately, because Sophie hasn’t really elaborated on what’s going on with her. When she does - it’s her grief, and how its affecting her grift now - there’s this concern in Hardison’s face. There’s absolutely going to be a meeting between the OT3 about how to straddle not straining Sophie too much and not babying her should she stay on for another job after this.

“But I can’t work forever, can I?” There’s a defeated tone to this, and it’s true - Sophie’s just human, one day she too will pass on. Her grief for Nate (and how being back with the team keeps reopening that wound) is coloring her view on this for sure. (Did Nate work himself to death?) It’s also, very distantly, a remark on the OT3 - they too can’t work forever. They were Sophie’s and Nate’s proteges. And it’s not that the OT3 doesn’t have anything in place if they go down - they’ve got small teams running all over the world. But they don’t have their own personal proteges. Harry’s a decent start, but they’ll need to recruit and open up their circle to at least one, maybe two more before they’re ready to retire. Before they, too, burn too hot for too long.

“You hear that? That’s a very distinctive sound.” YES

Another Basil & Brick truck! This one has.... empanadas, ropa vieja, sancocho, and I think the last one is yuca frita. Mm, yuca fries.

BREANNA!!!

Parker! Taught Breanna to tail people! (Hardison in particular?) When she was 11! Wait does that mean Parker’s met Nana?! Also Parker is so smug and satisfied that Breanna paid attention to her lessons.

“I teach every kid I meet how to do crime.” <3 be gay do crime

This is a big ‘I’m telling mom!’ argument and I love it, especially the “I think she’s napping” LMAO

“How you saved Eliot’s life all those times” Oh man Hardison is sleeping on the metaphorical couch tonight. But also I need to come back to this later because honestly and really? Hardison has - as part of a group team effort - saved Eliot’s life from himself. By giving him a way to work through his anger issues, by caring for him, by showing Eliot he’s needed and that he’s more than just a hitter. The team saved Eliot’s life. (And there’s probably a bunch of erasing digital trails/etc where Hardison did more directly save Eliot’s life but that's besides the point.)

“But hacking’s kind of old school anyway.” And as she goes on, Eliot goes from aggrieved to ‘oh, a new best friend’ because now he has someone to help him annoy Hardison.

Parker pulls Hardison into a side room (by his ear, but he’s not protesting in pain so that’s got to be just for show). And then pushes him up against the wall and Hardison is like ‘okay whatever lecture is coming can it not be like this?’ If it weren’t for the glass walls that’d be some makeout stuff right here.

LOL at Parker’s standard for a ‘normal’ person being ‘uses Uber, pays taxes, and has a birth certificate’.

“Wait is this like that time in Paris?” I... don’t remember an episode set in Paris with a robot and explosions so this must be during the time skip. And - “... but you didn’t want to hurt Eliot’s feelings so you secretly wanted us to agree.” I’m going to scream if there’s no confirmed ot3 by the end of the season. And cry. And read a whole bunch of fic.

Look at these two being honest with each and communicating and respecting each others opinions, they’ve grown so much from pretzel metaphors.

“You’re not mad. You did the Picard tug.”/“I am mad.“/“Did the tug. You know I like that.” Parker might be mad (at Hardison? Breanna? Both?) but not so much that she’s completely shutting out Hardison, giving him a nonverbal signal that she’s not pissed, just needs some time to be upset before everything’s okay.

“One. Job.” Parker says. And we the viewers know it’ll be more than one. But really what that means by now is that this is an audition. Parker may have taught Breanna some things, but now Breanna has to show that they do better with her rather than without, that she’s an asset and not a liability or dead weight.

I laughed so hard that because this shit’s illegal, there’s no cutting corners on the paperwork.

“And you didn’t get tortured.”/“Not this time.” I can’t tell if Eliot wants Harry to get a little bit tortured or if he’s just reminding Harry that this time around people were in a good mood and showing off.

Breanna stops herself before suggesting something, and Hardison, for all that he isn’t delighted at her presence and protested her being here, encourages her to speak up. If she’s going to be part of the team, even for one job, she’s part of the team and that means speaking up and throwing ideas out there for others to bounce around, even if it winds up being a football that can’t be dribbled.

OT3 TEAM JUST GOT DUBBED ‘DRILL TEAM’. (why is that also somehow a dirty joke i’m dying here)

Oh one of the baddies is a Com4r4t fan... oh wait no this is the beginning of a plan backfiring.

Aww Breanna is so proud of what she’s done! It’s very much like season 1 Hardison. So Sophie and Hardison go to do their own thing, only that means the baddies are here to talk to Breanna and she doesn’t have backup.

THE 'LET ME GET MY BOSS’ THE SPIN AROUND AND THE ‘WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING MY STAFF’ I LOVE BREANNA.

“I’m your neighbor who runs a business built on discretion.” This is going to go very badly depending on how Breanna plays this. At least she gets the earbud in to call for help!

Another Brick&Basil truck! Etoufee and jambalaya, dammit eliot stop choosing delicious food to advertise. 

“I monkey-shamed the DJ” I. Love. Her. Also Sophie’s already read Breanna as having the skills to just need general guidelines for an impromptu grift rather than needing to be fed specific lines.

“Okay here’s the thing.” And there’s a pause, we’re thinking he’s about to come down real hard on Breanna, and then we get “I love Com4r4t.” he is a fanboy I guessed it right!! And then he does go through with the threat, but not as a ‘cancel it or die’ sort of threat, but a ‘if i’m disappointed you die’ way.

Breanna nails the impromptu grift though she’s understandably a bit shaken by the threat at the end. (What newcomer wouldn’t be?) But the threat is what pushes Parker into deciding Breanna should go home ASAP. This is Hardison’s family, from before the team, and Parker isn’t about to risk messing that up. If she pushes for Breanna to stay when Hardison doesn’t want Breanna to, and something goes wrong? Parker would never, ever forgive herself.

But as Sophie has pointed out, they’ve all been out of their depth at one point or another. That doesn’t mean that someone should be sent packing.

Lmao Eliot being possessive of the drill.

“Then you ain’t got no more problems ever again.” There’s a certain sense of morbid humor with the team, one that’s both necessary but also a reality. They deal with this level of danger on a semi-regular basis. Harry just hasn’t caught up to that fact yet.

I have a feeling this particular baddie is going to end up dead for managing to drive a 40% cut.

“I’m just saying dude.” I love that Eliot and Hardison don’t have to rehash their entire arguments anymore unless they’re really enjoying themselves, that they can just be all ‘you know I’ve said my piece’.

“Don’t get distracted by the side gig.”/“Is it a side gig?” For all that the team has been their main focus for so long, for all that they all have side projects and gigs, this has been eating up more and more of Hardison’s time. What I thought was him pretending to be distracted earlier may have been a real distraction. And Eliot’s noticed, and he’s noticed that Hardison hasn’t noticed, that Hardison needs to make a choice here.

“In our line of work, you’re one of the best. But in that line of work you’re the only one, man.” Eliot has a soft smile at the end of that, and it's a bit painful, even as I saw it coming, to hear Eliot suggest that Hardison begin to step away from the team’s day to day.

“It’s okay to grow up, to realize you’re not the person you used to be.” None of them are the person they used to be. Not Sophie, not Parker, not Hardison, and certainly not Eliot. They can see that in each other if not in themselves. (Eliot, being the most grounded of all of them, already knew he’d changed eight years ago.)

“You never grew up.”/“Yeah. I achieved perfection pretty early, huh?” Even as Eliot’s the most grounded, even though he’s the one saying that there’s no one else that could fill Hardison’s role in that other work, the idea that Hardison might actually choose to step away from the team is too raw to handle without turning to humor.

Harry’s a bit jumpy, but he’s learning to play it off. I like that he’s a very different character from Nate, that it’s not his anger or ego driving him so much as a desire to make restitution.

And a “Dammit Hardison”

Ooh, Eliot’s in the vents too, just in time to help Parker. (She doubtless has her beloved taser but that would take time away from getting into the vault.)

“I smell lasers” Ahahahahaha

“You’re going to compare me to Eliot right now?” (’over the comms, where others who aren’t Eliot can hear?’ Hardison did not say out loud.)

ouch, okay, Hardison hurting his back like that might be what actually makes him choose the other gig over the team, or at what makes him take a little vacation so he can heal from that. (back injuries are nothing to play around with!)

how did Maxwell get past Eliot? but it’s all good, Eliot’s right behind to disarm him. And Parker’s been doing her hitting lessons, she didn’t even need a taser or to stab anyone!

Oh Harry, the bomb will be used, it’s just not time yet.

New Orleans gumbo is its own food group.

Okay so Hardison’s done a lot of work getting this place in order... WAIT IS THAT A PUNCHING BAG? That’s a punching bag! It might not be the love-letter the brewpub was but it’s definitely a thing added specifically for Eliot.

Oh no, Eliot might realize what Hardison’s doing with this, but Parker hasn’t caught up yet that Hardison’s going to be taking a break from the team.

Parker’s blindsided by this, and she’s upset, but she’s not mad because why didn’t she see this coming she should have seen it, so she leaves to deal with her emotions alone. Hardison follows, naturally, she knew he would, but she can’t face him because then he’ll see her crying, and Parker doesn’t do emotions easily. She’s torn between wanting him to help people and wanting to be with him (and she can’t go with him, she needs to be helping people too).

And Parker doesn’t want Breanna there without Hardison. Again because it’d put Hardison’s family in danger and that’s a step too far for Parker if Hardison doesn’t okay it. And also because with Hardison leaving, Breanna’s just going to be reminders of what Parker’s missing. And Breanna doesn’t have Hardison’s skillset, can’t fill his shoes - not that she should but she can’t, and Parker, I think, is already mentally preparing herself to go it alone again. Because if this job needs Hardison so bad, then surely Eliot’s got some project that needs his specific attention, and it was just one job for Breanna, and Sophie’s been adamant that this is one last job for her, and Harry’s still new and will probably decide to do his own thing given time to think... I think that’s where her brain is at, at least for the next thirty seconds, before she catches up with herself and realizes that more like the time she busted her leg than the team dissolving around her. (This kind of went weird places but that’s stream of thought for me)

And as they come back in Parker’s already cheering up some, because that wave of despair has already blown over. Yeah, she’s not a parent, but she’s good at teaching when she tries.

“It could be a reunion tour.”/“No. I’m retired.” It’s very different from Nate’s old protestations. He was not a thief. Whereas with Sophie it’s not ready. And while they all point out that she’s been happier while doing cons, that they could use the help, it’s not forceful or overpowering. It’s still Sophie’s decision. They’re not going to make her house their new base and taunt her with it; they’re not the sort of people who’d do that anymore, and anyway that’d be cruel instead of a fun sort of goading.

And because they give Sophie space to make a decision, while she doesn’t want to make a long-term commitment, she’s willing to take on ‘just a few more’.

[itsmoonphobic]

Moonbow at it yet again with a new Mcyt AU-But like what else am I supposed to do?I got so much positive feedback for my royalty AU that I decided to come up with a new AU! Plus I binged all the Ocean's movies and like the main one that inspired me was Ocean's 8,that movie slaps!If you haven't watched it yet you definitely should!!Anyway-Like I said my family and I just moved and I'm getting an extreme haircut today(lmao) so I'm pretty busy but don't worry the first chapter of "Royal Buisness" is going to be out in a few weeks/months!!Love u all and hope u like it <3💤💙

📷Target Spotted💻 (Mcyt Spy AU)

Sleepyboisinc(S.B.I) -> my absolute favorite bois ♡

-The sleepyboisinc originally started of as a joke.A few five year olds have the dream of becoming secret agents and start their own Buisness.

-No one really took it seriously back in the days when the three boys would draw and write down ideas for advanced technology devices and gadgets,I mean c'mon it's only natural for kids to grow up with dreams.The childish roleplaying on the playground eventually stopped but the dream stayed.Everyone simply thought that the trio would forget about their ideas in a few years and "grow up".

-Well they were wrong.Nobody could have predicted that the three of them continued with their "shenanigans" through all of their years in highschool-

-Techno,Phil and Wilbur stayed in touch while growing up. The three of them developed such a stron brotherly bond that at some point they left out everyone else and only shared their time with eachother.Their families informed them that they should be more open and extroverted but the three of them are stubborn.

-Time skip to College.Techno went on to study Psychology and English,Wilbur went to start a musical career and Phil- he just kinda disappeared?He didn't tell them where he went to college or what he was doing after school.

-So after two years of somewhat going their separate ways and two years of Phil missing without a single trace,both Techno and Wilbur decide to meet up and look for him. What the two didn't expect is that that night their childhood dream would become reality.

-Turns out that Phil,during those two years,secretly developed the S.B.I foundation.Techno and Wilbur couldn't believe that he managed to do all of this by himself and honestly?They were more than impressed and happy.It was their life long dream afterall and the fact that Phil made it all possible was absolutely overwhelming and appreciated.

-Phil explained everything.He told them that he didn't expect it to actually turn out this good and work functionality but it did!Phil also didn't accomplish it by himself but he hired a few poeple they could use on their side.At this point Techno and Wilbur were even more in love with their new jobs that they immediately dropped out of their previous occupations.

-He showed them around and the two of them were awestruck.Phil couldn't help but smile and laugh at their reactions since he only expected it to be this way.Phil didn't have to show them how things work becouse they created and designed all of this together,Phil was only the one who made it reality.

-Everything looked like from their drawings.The whole aesthetic of the building the S.B.I was located in was amazing.The outside looked like nothing special,and that's the way it's supposed to be.People weren't ment to get suspicious and curious.So making it look like a simple buisness was perfect.

-The only thing Techno and Wilbur weren't familiar with was the new staff so Phil gladly introduced them to eachother! Techno could already tell that there are a few poeple who he clearly won't get along with aswell as people he sees himself working with quite okay.As Phil watched them interacting he couldn't help the wide smile forming on his lips: The sleepy bois are finally reunited :)

Techno N.(Blade):

Techno is one of the best if not the best spy and the one with the biggest amount of action going on.His loyalty and dedication to his job are insane.Even back when they were kids Techno was always the one to stick up for Phil and Wilbur and make sure that the kids who bully them never show their faces again.

Techno is tough and clever.He thinks before he acts.His movements aren't exactly the most precise ones but they are definitely swift.Not to mention that there are times where instead of intimidating the target into getting out the information they need Techno turns to violence.He does apologize for it afterwards though so it's chill.

Techno is a professional at his finest.Getting caught?Never. Messing up?Not Techno.Tricks or traps?Don't work- During his training arc Techno learned the ways of a spy in and out. When Techno wants something to happen or go his way he only focuses on said thing and leaves it aside once he achieves what he wanted.

Techno prefers to work alone,he is extremely shy and introverted so it isn't easy working with people he's not comfortable around or familiar with.His social anxiety is not really a big help either- (Protect him) Another fun fact is that Techno's ADHD makes him struggle with his big focus ability.But everyone in the company knows it and they know that he can't do anything about it. •Accepting friends am I right? :)

Techno is the only employee that Phil let's in on the biggest news and insights first(Apart from Wilbur) and he is also the only one he trusts with the more dangerous weapons.Techno is really good with those!

Techno's missions are the ones that mostly need to be taken care of at night-His sleeping schedule is messed up so Phil gave him the night shift.Of course Phil has days where he strictly tells Techno to take them off so he can take care of his health and sleep.Techno refuses but knows that it makes Phil happy so he takes days off for him (I love their relationship <3)

Techno's job is his number one priority.Due to the fact that he used to study and specialize in psychology as well as in English and it's History Techno is very smart. His intelligence and usage of certain words tend to confuse other people and Techno would do it on purpose just to see the expression on their faces.

May I add that Techno is very calm and sarcastic.He also tends to be very polite and cold which makes poeple uncomfortable sometimes.His ego and confidence are both massive aswell which has it's ups and downs!

Techno is really good in cartography(Maps).During highschool Techno unintentionally desroyed everyone in Geography.He didn't like the subject he was only a natural at it.(If you couldn't figure it out already I obviously had to put in an SMP Earth reference)

Techno is one hell of a pilot.Poeple seriously question themselves how he is so good at flying planes or helicopters.Why complain though?A talent like that could come in handy any time when needed.

Phil W.(1ZA):

The boss and founder of the Sleepyboisinc(S.B.I)

Phil was the one who made all of their childhood dreams come true,and he's very proud of how far he himself and his friends have come!

Phil goes on missions on very rare occasions.His main job is to stay in his office and make sure that things run smoothly and the way they are supposed to.

He counts and is known as the information center and the backup for his agents.Him going on missions is very risky since he always has to be available during everything.His main priority is that all of his agents and friends come back safely and most importantly alive from their jobs.

Becouse Phil is mostly stuck in his office busy with paper work,he can read his agents like an open book. Phil's ability to instantly make someone feel welcomed and loved can either be seen as comforting or scary.One look at you and Phil knows exactly what topics to talk about.He can't but choose to use that ability to his advantage.

Phil is a very caring and kind person.He is the definition of wholesome!S.B.I is pretty lucky to have such a understanding and nice boss to work with.

Phil tends to keep his eyes on the troublemakers(I will get to them later 👀)and Techno especially.The first one is pretty self explanatory since the nickname says it all.Techno on the other hand is in Phil's sight not becouse he's a brainless idiot but of his health issues.

He is a very patient and empathetic person it isn't in his nature to be angry or mad at someone but when he is it gets scary.To have Phil actually mad it you,you would have to fuck up big time.Poeple who have experienced Phil being angry with them have nightmares till this day.He won't be violent and he won't insult you but he will hit you where it hurts the most,he will fo under the deepest parts of your skin. (Not physically but mentally)

Phil knows the right time to be serious and the right time to have fun and joke around with his friends.After a successful mission the crew would go out and celebrate their victory.Phil has to make sure that all of his idiot agents don't get too drunk so that no laws will be broken and no unnecessary information will be spread around.Gotta keep up a good rep am I right?

Everyone in the company sees Phil as a big father figure.I mean who wouldn't?The vibes he gives of remind everyone of an overprotective dad.Whenever somebody of his agents has a problem their first instinct is to go and talk to Phil about them.Phil will gladly listen and cheer them up when he needs to <3

Wilbur S.(Dirty Crime Boy):

Wilbur is the S.B.I's decoy and undercover specialist. His biggest flex is that becouse he is so handsome and charming,Phil decided to let him be the distraction. This guy could flirt with anyone and he would have them wrapped around his finger in no time.

There is just something so exciting and addictive to taking on different personalities and outfits.Wilbur can pull out any look or personality trait.His favorite one would have to be a musician,he doesn't have to act around too much since he's in his natural habitat. Wilbur sometimes has way too much fun with his job.

There are times where Wilbur is asked to perform somewhere so that Techno or whoever is on a mission with him is able to do what they need to do.He will get caught up in the moment and forget that he is on a mission so when Phil tells Wilbur's partner to drag him off stage and calm him down they immediately do so.

Apart from that,Wilbur is extremely good at what he does.You know those guys in movies who will drug other poeple's drinks and stuff to either rob them or drag them someplace else?Yeah that guy is Wilbur. His suave attitude and velvety voice makes everyone want to have a drink with him :)

Wilbur has the power of blackmailing on his side.This guy knows everything about everyone.You smoked weed with your ex on a highschool party?Wilbur knows it all.Some shit you did when you were home alone three weeks ago?Wilbur has all the details.He knows so much shit that people who work with him are genuinely scared to get close to him just couse they fear that he will know all their secrets.

Somehow Wilbur is able to get any information that is required for a certain mission.Your grandma's name?Blood type?Favorite type of cacti?Wilbur has it all memorized in his head.Phil may have all the needed information but Wil has the dirty secrets and past shit someone has gotten themselves into.

Wilbur's favorite person to work with has to be Techno.Not only becouse of their brotherly bond but becouse Wil knows that if he's stuck somewhere Techno is always around and will get him out.Wil simply enjoys Techno's company,he doesn't talk much so it gives Wilbur enough time and silence to talk about his day or something stupid that pissed him off.

Becouse Wilbur has to work undercover and make sure that he doesn't get recognized,he is fluent in multiple languages,his most requested ones are: German,French and Spanish!!(My personal headcanon I know Wilbur doesn't speak all three of them fluently)

Wilbur is the one who gets send onto missions that require to travel to a different country.Most of the time Wilbur happily agrees but on rare occasions where he feels as if something might go wrong or when he has a bad feeling about some place he will desperately try and get Phil to send someone else.

Tommy S.(Innit) ->Proud Inniter btw <3

Sixteen years old and already a spy?Tommy is living the dream of surely everybody in his highschool.Being light and quick on his feet Tommy's job is sneaking in and pickpocketing.Need a unique antique located in a safely secured safe?Tommy's got you.A wallet with a credit card or ID?Tommy already has it.Maybe it's a watch or a jewelry piece?It's Tommy's now.

Tommy's outgoing and energetic personality is a huge boost to the company.Whenever an agent backs down from a mission,Tommy will immediately call them out for being a coward.Tommy has the mouth of a sailor so him calling you a piss baby or bitch boy is completely normal to everybody working in S.B.I

They are pretty much used to it that Tommy has no filter when it comes to his opinion on something.He is brutally honest and isn't afraid to call you out for you bullshit.Tommy can be a little too open minded from time to time which gets him into dumb situations.

Tommy has the stupid ability to make everyone hate him the moment they meet him.Tommy tends to start fights or arguments against multiple people who are way stronger and taller than him.He doesn't think before he acts and just dives head in.

Almost 99.9% of the complaints Phil receives from other companies or his familiars are from Tommy.Even though Tommy promises Phil to stay out of trouble and keep his attitude to himself,he still manages to break those promises the moment someone insults his friends or makes fun of him.Phil seriously needs to teach him some proper manners-

"The business bay" is a small alliance that Tommy has formed in S.B.I,long story short it's all the younger agents (Tommy,Toby,Bitzel,Deo and Luke)in the company working together in a group.(Mostly just becouse all four of them go to the same School and Tommy needs people to steal homework from-)

Tommy seeks attention and admiration in any shape or form.Call him an "Alpha male" and you've got your name secured on "Keep them safe" list.The only other person Tommy admires,apart from himself is Techno. Literally the smallest "good job" or "well done" sends Tommy's ego over the edge.He will brag to everybody who is stupid enough to listen to him.He will constantly try and impress Techno in any way,which ends up in Tommy getting too ahead of himself and getting embarrassed for being so clumsy.

Wilbur and Tommy have a wierd relationship.One minute they are normally interacting with eachother and the other they are trying to kill eachother.Tommy complains about Wilbur all the time,about how annoying he is and that he thinks that he's best- Though when it comes to having eachother's backs that rivalry is put aside and they work together to save both of their asses.

Neither Techno or Wilbur will admit it but when Phil sends either of them to get Tommy's ass out of some shit he has gotten himself into the two of them are worried and get very protective over him.Sure Techno teases and ignores Tommy to no end and Wilbur annoys the living shit out of him but both of them make sure to take care of Tommy like their little bro.

AHHHHH IT'S FINISHED!!ANOTHER AU HAS BEEN WRITTEN QJSJWKKQ-Sorry guys I'm very excited about this AU,I have been working on it for a few days now and I had to write down all my headcanons and ideas!Don't worry my royal AU is still a work in progress so keep in mind that the first chapter will come out soon!I hope you guys enjoyed my Spy AU and ofcourse any kind of feedback is welcomed! Love u all <3 <3

[spiralesbian]

ALRIGHT

here’s my full Stranger Avatar Sasha Archivist timeline:

(also, thanks to @artbyblastweave for being so interested in my lil au!)

SEASON ONE

sasha james is hired as the head archivist of the magnus institute!

her assistants are jon, tim, and martin

tim takes the thematic role of martin (aka getting tormented by my worm wife jane, and stays in the archives)

sasha reads thru statements and is a skeptic! she really does not believe it’s real until jane comes along.

“tim……………………..did you die here?”

“no, but every time i come to work i die a little more inside.”

cute timsha moment in the supply closet tho.

until martin kool-aid-mans through the door and gets them out of there

jon used to work in artefact storage so he hides in there. he’ll be fine

i actually can’t remember how they all get out but they do it KKJSDGFJHD

sasha takes everyone’s statements. tim is fucked up, martin is also fucked up, jon is actually fine though he seems pretty normal about this whole situation most definitely.

sasha realizes this is a bit more than a regular archivist job.

SEASON TWO

sasha gets paranoid of course. she learns more about gertrude because she never got the chance to meet her

she takes a statement from a guy named michael shelley. weird dude. then helen shows up :)

jon is most definitely himself he is just a normal regular grumpy jon i swear :)

sasha starts to manifest her powers a little bit. she doesn’t know it, but she is an avatar of the stranger, and a prisoner of the eye.

she starts to notice more things about jon? similar to this comic but with jon

eventually she + tim + martin help get jon out of the grip of the NotJon. this is my au and i get to choose who dies (it’s no one because i miss the s1 archival assistants too much).

jon is pretty fucked up from this though and at like a season-3-tim mindset already.

fucking goddamn leitner avatar of the fucking whore shows up to trap the NotJon in one of his shitty fucking novels. fuck this guy tho

he’s like Sasha We Must Talk and shes like okay but stay 8 ft away from me at all times you bitch

she leaves the room for 10 minutes and pipe murder occurs. good riddance

wait are the cops in the season i genuinely can’t remember. if they are, their roles don’t change very much. melanie and sasha feud, battle of the bi queens

SEASON THREE:

uh oh! girlie’s be framed for murder! she crashes at her ex gf georgie’s flat. also the admiral is there don’t think i would EVER cut him out of this story

(also jon is georgie’s ex too because i think that would be fun JDHBFHS)

sasha learns abt an upcoming web ritual (mirroring the unknowing), all that shit. gets kidnapped a ton of times, as usual.

helen is like “i am going to kill you because i hate gertrude <3 i was that dumb bitch’s assistant for too long” but michael busts out of the door like Hi Guys and traps her in the hallway.

sasha also gives her statement about a leitner she found as a child that marked her. its a stranger book and we learn her edgy orphan origin story how her parents were both murked by the stranger. fucked up if true!

back at the archives jon is like so fucking tired of this shit honestly and now martin is also pretty paranoid. also jm romance subplot is still very present!

tim is just trying to protect sasha at all times and he’s pissed she keeps leaving the country and getting fucking kidnapped

(remember when jon persuades the traffic cop?) sasha starts to fill her archivist role in a different way. she can shapeshift into the subject of a statement and uses her affiliation with the eye to coerce statements or info out of people. (example: if she needed a live statement from the guy in #90 Body Builder, she could temporarily make herself look like jared hopworth to the guy and ask “what happened to me?” or “what did i do?” and the guy would be like well he built some fucken bodies i guess let me tell you all about it) while reading the statements in america that refuel her, she fully shapeshifts into the statement giver while reading out loud.

once again i truly can’t remember daisy + basira’s roles until the end of the season. also melanie get shot by the ghost at some point

anyways sasha gets kidnapped by trevor and julia and they gerry lays out all the shit for her and she’s like ah! i’m fucked

tim offhand mentions the web ritual to martin and he loses his shit cause he’s marked by the web blah blah this isn’t a web!martin thing i swear i just need someone to fill tim’s role in the ritual and a lonely ritual would be fucking boring as hell as we learned from ass man peter lukas. i hate that man

so they make the plan to stop the web ritual (which is fucking hard when the offense knows your every move) so sasha, basira, daisy, jon, and martin go.

tim stays back at the institute to burn shit and distract elias. elias does some fucked up shit as usual and it makes me sad

the ritual starts! they have a plan to blow it up and run but like. u know how it goes

instead of the unknowing-stranger-dream-sequence, we get everyone kinda mixed up in a huge spider’s web on the big stage and its still quite confusing because this ritual not only manipulates the prey, but also the prey’s perceived reality. the web is also in current control of the buried coffin cause they think that shit is kinda fun. they yeet daisy into it.

hard to describe what happens, but basira keeps her cool, jon is a bit lost in his own mind, sasha tries to use her powers to escape but fails. she manages to get through to martin through the strings and mounds of spiders and she tosses him the detonator.

[squishing spider noises]

SEASON FOUR:

martin doesn't die, i told you i can't kill the og archival assistants! he does lose most of one leg though, he took the blunt of the explosion.

sasha in da hospital in da coma. tim is mad he can’t wake her up and then my man ollie says “ur fucked up mate” and she wakes up

(and because coma jon has such wild hair controversy, i’m establishing that her head was shaved when she was in the coma. it grows back thru s4. it she keeps one side shaved cause she’s cool)

meanwhile tim is recruited by that dumbass man you know who i don’t even wanna say his stupid fucking name

sasha gets daisy out of the buried. they become avatar pals!

(there is the biggest blank in my memory where all of season four should be. at this point i should just relisten to the entire fucking show but i would literally just forget it all again)

melanie says hm. fuck this! and blinds herself. she goes to live with georgie (and that’s the moment jon and sasha realize they are both georgie’s exes FHFHDJD)

tim continues to fight the lonely pull. he thinks that since p*ter l*kas is tied to the institute, he can blind himself out cause melanie was successful. he is wrong. he is also interrupted by elias midway, and only blinds one eye, and loses most of his sight in the other. elias’s hold on him is weak, but this just drives him way farther into the lonely.

gotta be honest i remember the end of season four but like i couldn’t visualize what was happening at the end so i like don’t understand what happened JGDKFJGD but sasha intervenes (???) and peter yeets tim into the lonely (???) and sasha jumps in (??????) after him. elias is just there i guess?

instead of “look at me martin,” sasha finds tim and at this point her form is warped and hard to recognize because of stranger powers, and tim is almost 100% blind, so she says “don’t look at me, see me. see me tim, it’s me.” and finally creates a clear image of herself. “it’s...it’s you. you’re my sasha.”

they break free and go to scotland i guess KHSDDKDSF

idk what happens with jon and martin im losing continuity at this point. fuck it, they smooch <3

“ah these are the statements.”

“yes. basira said last week she’d send some up as soon as the archives weren’t a crime scene. and she wasn’t sure which ones you’ve read already, so she, she just said she’d send a bunch.”

“.........Hello Sasha.”

(alternate ending: personally i think sasha would read through each statement before speaking them aloud cause that’s what i would fucking do, so she would get this statement and be like “lmao tim come look at this elias trying to prank me dumb bitch think i’ll start the apocalypse for him. fucking little puny bitch boy. anyways what do you want for dinner?”)

SEASON FIVE:

“just. listen.”

“...i’m dead. and you have been chosen to be my replacement as head archivist. hopefully, this means you, jon, but if someone else is hearing this, and elias has made a different choice for some reason, then these words are still very much intended for you.”

sasha in full stranger avatar mode and is like 8ft tall and her faces shift a lot as they go through the realms. except the stranger is the second to last one (the panopticon is last obviously).

helen and michael actually talk shit out in the spiral hallway and now they are mlm wlw solidarity and both like tim and sasha are such bi and trans icons <3 this is so fun don’t you love the fearpocalypse <3

oh daisy n basira trapped in the hunt, and jon and martin are trapped in the stranger. wtgfs + the admiral are like in space or some shit idk but they are ok :)

not much to report other than she is my monster wife <3

i really don’t have many theories to how everything in s5 is gonna pan out, and i would like to closely mirror the actual show, so maybe as we get closer to the end i’ll build more on to this! thanks a lot for all the notes on my first sarchivist post!! also if u wanna make art this specific au DEF tag me in it i’d love to see!!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #340

“wash the poison from off my skin  /  show me how to be whole again”

What is one thing that you took to show and tell as a kid? I have this oddly specific memory of bringing my little Snorlax plushie for one in pre-k. I remember thinking everyone thought I was weird for liking Pokemon as a girl. Do you remember losing your first tooth? I don't. Have you ever been addicted to a game? What game? I think I was addicted to World of Warcraft at a point, but it's honestly hard to tell. My depression was just so abysmal that it was the one thing I got even a smidge of not even joy, but active distraction out of because the options of what you can do in the game are essentially limitless. Are you afraid to pop a balloon? Not really, but it does make me jump because I don't like loud noises. Name one person you’d like to see this month. Bitch we fighting Covid, stay away from me. When was the last time you laughed when you shouldn’t have? I don’t know. Which was better: the first The Lion King or the second? They're nearly tied, honestly, but I prefer the original. Do any of your grandparents have a tattoo? I KNOW my maternal grandmother didn't, and I don't believe any other grandparent did, either. When was the last time you had a bubble bath? Not since I was a kid. What do you usually buy when you go to the corner store? You mean like, a gas station or dollar store? Something small like that? In that case, I'll usually look for a Mountain Dew Voltage sometimes along with something Reese's-related. Do you believe that your pets feel love towards you? My cat, absofuckinglutely. He so obviously loves me. I know my snake doesn't though, considering reptilian brains just physically aren't capable of creating that emotion. She does, however, obviously trust me and definitely seems to enjoy coming out of her terrarium and thus hanging out by me. Bubbles or sidewalk chalk? I loved drawing with chalk, but I like bubbles more. I just love how they catch light and have such beautiful colors to share. What do you use to tell time when your gone out somewhere? My phone. Are you proud of your body? FUCK no. I wish I still was, goddammit. I used to be so fit, and it's funny, because even back then at like, 118 lbs at 5'4'', I thought I was kinda chubby. Like bitch shut the fuck up. Watermelon or cherries? I honestly don't like either, but I'll definitely pick watermelon over cherries. They're disgusting. What is your all-time favourite song? "False Flags" by Massive Attack. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Biiiiiitch guess lmao. I think everyone has, though. What is the band you’ve listened to most lately? Definitely 3TEETH. Love 'em. Favourite brand of cookies? Hm, good question. They've gotta be good at making SOFT chocolate chip cookies, though. I don't enjoy crunchy cookies nearly as much. If you could meet anyone who lived before your time, who would it be? I don't really know. Oh, y'know, chatting with Edgar Allan Poe would probably be cool. Do you pay for your own things? I literally can't. It's embarrassing. Have you ever been rushed to the hospital in an ambulance? No. What is one thing you’d never want your parents to find out? Certain sexual things I've done, probably. When you were little, did you like Dr. Suess books? Of course. Have you ever felt trapped in a relationship? I felt that way in my friendship with Colleen, but no romantic relationships. What would you consider unforgivable? Rape. Like no, go to hell. Do you like eating out at restaurants? Pre-Covid, yeah. What do you dislike the most about being the gender that you are? Probably how heavily judged women are for having ANYTHING "wrong" with their appearance. You could be five pounds over what is "normal" for your height and you're seen as fat. One strand of body hair, and you're disgusting. Bushy eyebrows, you're now manly. I could go on and on. Do you think that weed/marijuana should be legalized? Yes. Rate your typing speed on a scale from 1 - 10? 10. Do you enjoy tanning? Ugh, no. Just sitting there doing nothing but sweating. Have you ever written anybody an anonymous note? I have not. What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Ketchup. Have you ever laid in a hammock? Yeah; we used to have one. It was the best when we lived in the woods. Do you blow dry your hair or do you let it air out? I just let it air dry. Candles or incense? I prefer incense. Can you juggle? No. Your favorite vegetable? Broccoli. Do you catch lizards? No; I don't like terrifying wildlife. I'd much rather just take pictures of the little guys and let them go about their business. If we returned to a world without internet, what aspect of online life would you miss the most? YouTube, haha. It's more unique and personal entertainment than television, imo. Are you craving anything aside from food, and if so, what? I want a new piercinggggg. What was the last change you made to your lifestyle? I'm *trying* to get back into regularly making art, along with reading. I'm also really trying to implement drinking more water into my day. What was the last thing you gave up doing? *shrug* What was the last thing to boost your self-esteem? What sort of things typically make you feel good about yourself? It really, really helped to hear my PHP group enjoy my poem about gay rights so much. I was so terrified and did NOT want my therapist to share it, but it turned out being very beneficial. To answer the second question, it's pretty much stuff like I just mentioned: positive reactions to things I create. When it comes to food, do you prefer crunchy or softer textures? Definitely softer. Do you prefer savory or sweet things for breakfast? Hm. Depends on the day, ig. What is something small that you take extremely personally? I'm blanking. What was going on the last time you couldn’t sleep? I just... couldn't sleep. That's not rare for me. Have you drawn anything recently? I recently drew a picture of a still from Rammstein's "Mutter" music video, and I'm now working on Sara's 'kat Alucard. If you're going somewhere close by, do you walk? No. One simply does not walk in this town and not fear being shot. Do you prefer colorful notebooks over plain ones? I like colorful ones, particularly those with a nice pattern or something on it. What's your most ambitious goal? I'd consider wanting to be a successful freelance photographer to be rather ambitious. Do you know anyone named Alex? Well, knew, by this point. One of my closest online friends that just got a boyfriend and fell off the face of the planet when we used to talk every day. I'm still hurt about it, honestly. What's your favorite kind of pie? I don't like pie because of the crust being so, well... crusty and crumbly. Have you ever chatted someone up and scored a date? No. How far would you go with someone you just met? Not very far at all. All you're getting is a hug, if even that. What's your favorite meal to have for dinner? I mean, it depends on what I feel like having. I don't have a set favorite meal. What do you daydream about? The future, mostly. People I miss. Have you ever known someone online and then met them in person? If so, which website did you meet on? Yes, Sara. <3 We met via YouTube back when it had much more social connection. Have you ever been to the beach? Yeah, a good number of times. When was the last time you were sick and what illness did you have? I don't believe I've been ill in any sort of way since I had that ungodly ear infection a few years ago. Have you ever been kicked out of somewhere? Yeah, Colleen's house. Mom once tried kicking me out of the car one night otw home, but I didn't listen. Have you ever intentionally trolled? No. How many siblings do your parents have? Mom has two brothers and I think one sister, and Dad has one sister. Who last held your hand? My niece or nephew, dragging me somewhere, haha. Have you seen all the Lord of the Rings movies? No, not interested. What was the last thing you watched on YouTube? I'm watching John Wolfe's playthrough of Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs. It's so funny how like... every let's player I watch doesn't enjoy the game, like they miss the incredible symbolism and shy away from the advanced language, and sometimes it's just frustrating to watch them; I only do because I enjoy the game and want to see more people experience it and relive it vicariously. It's very high on my list of favorite games. What sport do you find yourself best at? I wouldn't know; I haven't played any sports in years. I was pretty good at softball as a kid, though. Do you think makeup on guys is freaky or sexy? My opinion shouldn't matter; a man can wear makeup whenever he damn well pleases without worrying what others think. But anyway, I tend to find it attractive, especially if it's goth makeup. Have you ever been accused of a crime you did not commit? No. Do you like pickles? I love dill pickles. What was the craziest moment of your life? Probably just lying in that hospital bed following my OD, my mom and two best friends just sitting there with me. It was such a weird, weird feeling. Like I was just so done, frustrated beyond what I can say. I remember thinking it was almost funny, just how it all built up and went wrong. Where do you spend most of your time? In my room on my bed. What is your favorite muffin? Chocolate chip. Would you ever get a boob job? I already know when/if I lose the weight I want to, it will be kind of a big deal to me and my atrocious body image to get a breast lift. Being overweight ~does things~ you know, and god knows I want every trace of it that can be erased gone. Would you ever go on a reality TV dating show? That's a massive "no" from me, buddy. Would you rather be inside or outside? It depends on where I am and the temperature outside, but generally, inside. Do you like the current president? Well, I voted for him, so I can't shit-talk much. I don't know the true depths of him as a person and all he stands for, though; when I decided I needed to vote, I just did some research on his core values. I don't have any complaints yet, from what I've seen at least, which isn't a lot. Do you whiten your teeth? I've used whitening strips before, but I don't now because they're not that effective. If it's financially plausible at some point in my life, teeth whitening is another thing I want to have medically done because of my previous horrible self-care. My teeth have a clear yellow tint and I hate it. Do you get cold easily? No; it's actually the opposite: I get hot easily. What was the worst sickness you ever had? Probably this one stomach bug I had where I just threw up relentlessly. Like eventually barely even bile would come up; it was just dry heaving. My stomach muscles were in agony. Was your childhood wasted by something? No, thankfully. Would you rather die during an adventure or die like a normal person? A normal person. The idea of having such a sudden death stresses me out for multiple reasons; I mostly don't want my family to just be suddenly devastated, and I honestly want to come to peace with the fact I was dying. Like, find my life's own closure instead of just having it ripped away. Have your parents ever tried to commit suicide? Jesus, I sure hope not. Do you have a gag reflex? A very strong one. Do you ever fantasize about trying drugs? I've wondered before what the effects of weed would be like for me, but "fantasize" is definitely the wrong word. Would you rather have sex before you’re married or wait till marriage? It'd be up to my partner, honestly, because I'm fine with either. What is the nastiest dare you have ever committed? I never did dares because I thought they were stupid. Like I'm not gonna do dumb shit just to show you I can. Do you know anyone who has been raped? I think I might? Have you ever asked someone for a tampon? Yeah. Do you have any exes you can’t stand anymore? No. Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Computer. Do you prefer headphones or earbuds? Earbuds. Headphones are just big and clunky and in the way when you use a laptop in bed, plus they irritate my skin. I like how earbuds actually go in your ears for more direct hearing. Would you ever consider adopting a child with a severe mental illness? If I wanted children, no, because I don't think I'm capable to give a child like that adequate care, being so mentally ill myself. I wouldn't want to risk worsening their condition. Favorite thing to do with a significant other? Play games together, particularly cute multiplayer ones that are more about the experience of playing together versus getting past difficult obstacles and such. Like for example, one of my favorite memories with Jason is simply playing Little Big Planet together. Favorite ice cream topping? I don't like many toppings on my ice cream, but I do love melted hot fudge. First boyfriend/girlfriend’s name? Aaron. Do you support PETA? Considering they are incredibly self-righteous extremists, no. Do you believe in the Big Bang Theory? Well, I believe in some sort of "god" figure that created the universe, so I don't think so. A condensed ball of nothing exploding to create something so extravagant? It sounds pretty far-fetched to me. But then again, maybe that semblance of a "god" I believe in created the universe through that, idk. It doesn't really matter now, though, does it. What happened happened, I'm not very concerned with it. What insect can you not stand the site of? It's more so larvae that I can't stand the sight of, like maggots and stuff. They make me squirm. Do you like Doctor Who? I've only seen one or two episodes, so I can't say. Do you approve of gay marriage? Of course I do. I'm bisexual and would like to get married, so I might marry a woman. Are you into politics? I'm really not. Do you think the world is ending soon? Nah, even though it sure does feel like it sometimes. Ever been to a mosh pit? No, they don't seem very fun at all. Do you like to debate? NO. NO NO NO. Do you like the band System of a Down? Yeah, I do. Are you German? It's a big part of my heritage. Do your parents like your best friend? Yes. Who’s someone you can act your complete self around? Sara, 100%. She's the only person I feel entirely comfortable around when it comes to being myself. Do you believe in Friday the 13th? I don't believe in there being any supernatural power to it, no. Who is your favorite rapper? Eminem. What age is your youngest aunt? Uhhhh I have no idea. Do you like bowling? Sure, it's fun. Do you like roasting marshmallows on a bonfire? I do. What shows or characters scared you as a child? Ghostface from the Scream series was my worst fucking nightmare. I couldn't even see pictures of him without crying. The King Ramses guy from Courage the Cowardly Dog also gave me a number of nightmares. Something about the way he was animated was very unnatural and unnerving to me.

[villainever]

Eve and the Performance of Morality

The "descent into darkness" as a format for a character arc is relatively common these days, especially in prestige television, and while it's more often played out with men than women, it's not unheard of as a trajectory for female characters. What's so interesting about Eve's development is how FAST it is happening. On a poorly-written show, this would be because the writers were rushing, too caught up in Point B to plot a satisfying journey there from Point A. But Killing Eve is basically a masterclass in good screenwriting, and it leaves us with the unshakeable feeling that this is the only way it COULD happen for Eve.

Other "descending" characters are so often ordinary, but transformed by their remarkable circumstances. They are pushed by the people around them and unfortunate events into compromising on their ideals and values, slowly shifting inch by inch until they've lost sight of who they were. And often, this is where they're killed off, or a redemption begins.

But even though she changes, Eve isn't transformed. She's REVEALED. And not just to us, but to herself. She isn't surrounded by people pushing her to darkness -- in fact, Elena, Hugo, Kenny, Jess and Niko are all trying to hold her back from it. Instead, she chases darkness. She follows Villanelle further and further, around a dozen corners in the gloom, and when the light's gone entirely, Eve realises that she can still SEE. Eve is made for the darkness, and Villanelle knows it from the beginning, but Eve is still working it out.

While I don't think Eve has the same compulsion towards violence that Villanelle does, I do believe they are an example of the nature/nurture conflict. Eve was raised by good people in a good place and got a good education, then married a good man and got a good job. "Nice and normal". At every turn, she was socialised and conditioned to mimic morality and empathy, and while Villanelle often acts this out as well, for Eve, the acting is still subconscious. She believes it comes from an innate impulse, rather than years of being told what to do and how to react. Neither Villanelle nor Eve really connect with people effortlessly on an emotional level, but Villanelle accepts that about herself, while Eve can almost pretend it's been bred out of her.

Eve's stable life and her moral framework are dependent on one another, so they implode at the same time. Staying in the realm of 'normal' with Niko necessitates a certain performance of conventional morality, but when Villanelle not only doesn't demand that performance but actually demonstrates an existence without it, Eve finds it harder and harder to maintain her home life.

Once the door has been opened, it can't be closed again. Eve is realising who she is, and more importantly, who she ISN'T. In 205, Martin says, "Don't add. Take away." And this is how we're experiencing Eve's arc. We take away outside pressure to be normal. We take away moral influences. We take away the expectation of goodness. And this leaves Eve looking a lot more similar to Villanelle than she's perhaps ready to admit yet to herself.

It's worth noting how Niko has identified Eve as self-obsessed, because she definitely is. But a lot of that self-obsession manifests in her fascination with Villanelle -- not only because Eve really likes Villanelle and stops caring about what distracts her from wholeheartedly pursuing her, but because Eve RECOGNISES some part of herself in Villanelle, and almost uses her as a mechanism for self-discovery. She watches what Villanelle does, and enjoys it, while being able to maintain the distance that comes from not having physically done it herself.

As I mentioned earlier, we've seen the "descent" arc before in modern television. One that springs to mind in Piper on OITNB. In S1, Piper commits increasingly selfish acts, but still considers herself a good person -- indeed, nothing she does can be really that bad, because she's a Good Person. Over S2 and S3, she continues downwards, until by S4, she's no longer able to reconcile the two versions of herself, so she decides she must be a Bad Person. Because of her pathological need to be liked, this doesn't work for her either, and ultimately, Piper ends up trying to do good things to become a genuinely Good Person.

Eve, I think, originally believed that she would hit some point like this, and bounce up from the bottom. But she won't. Why? Because at first, Eve thinks she needs people to like her, but she actually doesn't. She fires Kenny -- the last of their original team, the last person who knew Old Eve (not counting Carolyn, who has layers I won't get into here) -- and doesn't really miss him, or notice he's gone (eg. calling Hugo "Kenny"; they're interchangeable and missable). She wants Villanelle's attention, but Villanelle 'liking' her is different to the way other people might -- Villanelle wants her, is attracted to the best of the worst in her, is enjoying Eve's emergence from her crucible (or cocoon, depending on how you want to frame it). Eve's primary drive is Villanelle's interest in her, and that's certainly not holding her back in her journey.

Secondly, Eve doesn't actually care about being good. She's had numerous potential "wake-up call" moments -- stabbing Villanelle, facilitating the torture of the Ghost, nearly pushing the guy at the train station, Niko leaving, Villanelle killing someone right in front of her, etc. Yes, she had a minor breakdown over knifing Villanelle, but that was more the idea of Villanelle being gone than the stabbing itself, because the way Eve later says she thinks of it "all the time" doesn't sound as black and white as regretting it in its entirety; like Villanelle, she views it as a point of significsnt connection between them and I don't believe she'd let that go. Regardless, the point is that if she had a real gut connection to her moral compass, she would've bailed. Because really, her original mission is over. She caught Villanelle. She chased her and drew level and she's done.

But Eve's not done, because she's chasing not just Villanelle, but the Eve who can keep pace with her. She's chasing what Villanelle represents -- freedom from a system that doesn't fit Eve, not really.

What we have to remember, though, is that Eve has been socially and ideologically programmed for forty-five years. Most sociopaths lead typical lives and have long-term relationships and never really dig too deep into their psychology. It's doable. This is why Eve is slipping fast but not faster -- she's had a taste of liberation from her constraints, but her skin has long since grown over those shackles, so it's hard not to see them as a part of herself, and difficult to get them off.

But they'll come off, because Eve isn't a quiet woman with an average husband and a respectable government job. Eve is a chameleon, the way Villanelle is, only she's less deliberate and has been playing her character for far longer.

Which leads me to Villanelle's speech on life being boring and why it was so important for Eve to hear it. If we look at classic "chaotic" characters like Eve and Villanelle, they're often motivated by boredom, or rather, the desire to escape it. Villanelle and Eve are stuck in a world designed for other people.

The fact is, Eve has been bored forever. Eve was bored long before the pilot, when she was stuck in a holding pattern with Niko and imagining how she'd kill him, not because she wanted him gone but because it was INTERESTING. When she started keeping track of a female assassin but not even trying to report her, because she wasn't aiming for justice but ENTERTAINMENT.

Another fascinating element of their dynamic is that we as an audience are usually positioned to root for a redemption, but with Eve, we can't imagine anything more disappointing. We don't need her to turn it all around, we need her to dive in. Not only because it makes for a fresh storyline, but because great arcs are about characters finding who they are, and we have already grasped who Eve is. Along with Villanelle, we're waiting on her to realise it and act on it. Eve returning to her normal life would be a wolf among sheep, and I think Eve has gone too far. Not in that she's committed serious crimes she'd always be guilty of -- although she's getting close -- but because Eve is coming to understand she's not who she imagined she was, and any performance after this will be a conscious one. A decision to pretend. And guess what? That'll get boring, too. We root for a darkening Eve because we want her and Villanelle to escape that boredom, and escape it together, and forgetting this ever happened is not a way to do that.

I've smashed this out on my phone because I had a lot of thoughts and I'm not going to proofread because no one will actually read this. But essentially, I think we can expect Eve to continue using Villanelle as a proxy for a little while longer, until she's ready to cut loose her parachute. She hasn't committed to this yet because she doesn't want to forfeit the possibility of her old life to go back to (which is why she was upset over splitting from Niko even though she couldn't care less when he's actually around), but once she is reminded how horribly BORING it was, there'll be nothing to hold her back anymore. Because better to flame and implode than be smothered in a kitschy kitchen with a man you imagine blending up and pouring into a thermos. Better to be true and horrible than be nothing.

If you did read this thank you and I promise I'll stop writing mini essays and go back to regularly scheduled memes in a moment. I don't really do these because they don't interest anybody, but lmao, these two always get me thinking. hmu if you wanna trade theories lol.

[frstbiitten]

@paindealt​ ha dicho: while makin icons i was reminded of Dat Intro and liiiiiiiike if Frost was dead to Kuai "long ago" then how come he seems visibly upset (and surprised) that she went alongside Sektor??? lmao 

ANALYZING THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN SUB-ZERO AND FROST: A POST by someone who doesn’t write Kuai Liang but still

Okay, taking first the Story Mode in consideration since I’m looking at the chapter right now and analyzing every single second of it and expression (Hanzo... sweetie... the muscles of your face, use them), let’s just start with the moment they see Cyrax and this Mysterious Woman entering the laboratory. Kuai just had his first bit of sad momentTM when seeing people of his clan killed and there are guts everywhere... he has to live ALL OF THIS ALL OVER AGAIN, and obviously, his expression while holding that medallion is the one of someone who loved his clan and I dare to say, that he was like a father to them. Now, let’s go back to that moment I mentioned. They see this mysterious woman... AND THEY SEE CYRAX!! He is there, and that surprises Kuai Liang in a bittersweet manner since you can see it on his face. When it comes the moment to jump into action, Kuai, JUST IN CASE, he freezes the Mysterious Woman in case she’s a threat to them and go straight for Cyrax, well, Hanzo does it and is a great distraction, when suddenly...

Mysterious Woman is Frost no less and she is a cyborg... no less.

And this is like a bucket of cold water on his face, he is notoriously surprised and upset as you say, after all these years he gets to see his greatest pupil and all the memories come to him, perhaps he thought that her destiny took another turn (going back to California, death, anything but clearly NOT THIS), but another thing...

Kuai tries to knock some sense into her head. I mean, if someone was ‘dead for you long ago’, would you try to bring out these facts to them? Try to knock some sense into their heads even if they are long gone to be back to how they were before? Kuai has all the reasons to be upset, you can listen to his anger and sadness when he mentions about all he did for her (to me, I think this is also a sign about how well they knew each other, how else he would know she had no home before joining the Lin Kuei? Of course, Frost TRUSTED Kuai enough to reveal this piece of her past). ALSO I want to remark Kuai’s facial expressions when saying that there is no future in which she leads the Lin Kuei: sadness, anger, and inquisitory finger, and perhaps holding back his tears? Whatever, you can see how terrible he is feeling now.

Now let’s talk about the worst part: Frost’s death.

I don’t know why, but this little piece of her dialogue before going for Raiden is an attempt from the writers to foreshadow her death... I mean, Raiden ‘ignored her through her entire life’ and how funny that is Raiden who puts an end to her life. Also, I think they tried to make you feel a little tiny bit of sympathy for the devil here. Like this is a reminder right here that Frost went from ‘Nothing to Everything’, got so intoxicated with the desires of power that hell, there’s no stopping from this point.

Okay, now the bad part...

This the expression of a man who’s just so disappointed and having a really bad time, and the worst part is when he realizes that Frost was controlling the Cyber Initiative all this time, not Sektor. Even if he hasn’t realized about it yet, you can notice that he’s truly hurting by how everything turned out, remarks about her wasted potential (Kuai KNOWS that Frost is so capable of being more, that she could have been Grandmistress if she was more patient, and even named her is heir to the title of Sub-Zero). 

So, let’s go for the last part of this long-ass post about me trying to prove something obvious and looking deeper into it because I have no self-control and I’m screaming as I type this:

The Dialogues 

Frost - Sub-Zero

Frost: Here to criticize me again? Sub-Zero: I held you to a higher standard. Frost: You held me back!

Frost: The circle is complete, Sub-Zero. Sub-Zero: You were a talented student once. Frost: And now, I'm the master.

Frost: I'm done with your pretentious lectures. Sub-Zero: No power is worth trading your soul. Frost: That's a perfect example.

Frost: I was your heir apparent. Sub-Zero: If only you'd been more patient, Frost. Frost: Like I'm patiently waiting to kill you?

Sub-Zero - Frost

Sub-Zero: Here to face the Grandmaster? Frost: I'm here to take your place. Sub-Zero: You are not ready, Frost.

Sub-Zero: I have no wish to strike you. Frost: You can't hurt me, Grand-bastard. Sub-Zero: Even iron rods can be ground to needles.

Sub-Zero: Was I such a poor mentor? Frost: Mentor? You were an obstacle! Sub-Zero: All tests are hard before they are easy.

Sub-Zero: The Lin Kuei are done with you. Frost: They will follow me in the New Era. Sub-Zero: That era will never come.

On one side we have Frost simply spitting out poison, making remarks about how terrible mentor he was, that he didn’t help her to explore her entire potential, that his lectures are pretentious. And on the other side, we have Sub-Zero who’s just... he’s just tired, he’s having a bad time having to see his best pupil becoming everything he has feared before, Kuai was FORCED to be a Cyber Lin Kuei, that whole experience traumatized him and has done his very best to overcome that trauma by restoring the clan in his own way. These lines of dialogue still don’t reveal enough about how it was their relationship in the past... but there is one which is pretty interesting, and it can be considered as Kuai’s last attempt to let Frost know that he cares for her still:

Sub-Zero: I have no wish to strike you. Frost: You can't hurt me, Grand-bastard. Sub-Zero: Even iron rods can be ground to needles.

Kuai doesn’t want to hurt Frost, if she was ‘dead for him so long ago’ as he says in that intro with the Joker, why even try? Wouldn’t you just go and kill your own student if they were like Frost to let them know how dead they are for you? If you can find this intro with them maskless, is pretty interesting because they’re both hurting here, even Frost looks sad in this intro without the mask when she says that he can’t hurt her, and Kuai’s voice is the one of someone who’s so sad and upset.

Also, it’s so obvious that Kuai refuses to kill her or even fight against her, like, these are the intros between Frost - Kitana and Liu Kang:

Kitana: I must take you to Sub-Zero, Frost. Frost: Since when do you do his bidding? Kitana: Since we chose cooperation over kombat.

Frost: We have no quarrel, Liu Kang. Liu Kang: I'm bringing you back to Sub-Zero. Frost: Attempt it and you die.

The Kahn of Outworld and The Chosen One are out there working together for a common cause: bring Frost back to Sub-Zero, a petition made by him no less. They don’t suggest anything about ‘Sub-Zero wants to kill you’ or anything referring to him ending with her life, no no, they just want to bring her to him, and this gives me memories of... the OG timeline...

Frost’s ending in Deadly Alliance:

As they traveled back to the portal that would return them to Earthrealm, Sub-Zero revealed to Frost that she had been an integral part in the destruction of the Deadly Alliance, and that he was proud to have her as a member of the Lin Kuei clan. But unknown to Sub-Zero, Frost's true intention for joining the Lin Kuei was to become Grand Master herself. She used her ice blast to temporarily immobilize him and ripped the Dragon Medallion from his chest. As she held the medallion, she felt power surge through her body. Lacking the strength and discipline required to control the medallion's immense power, she was consumed by her own freezing ability. 

Sub-Zero’s Bio in Deception / Unchained:

"My fellow Lin Kuei, Frost, had betrayed me and stolen my Dragon Medallion. Unable to control the medallion' s power, she was consumed by her own freezing ability. I searched Outworld for a suitable place to bury her remains when I happened upon ancient ruins carved into a mountainside. I learned that the ruins were a holy structure belonging to a lost race of people who had attained mastery over the cold. After thorough study of this culture, I now believe both Frost and myself to be their descendants. I laid Frost's body in a sarcophagus and left the catacombs, donning the armor of my newly discovered heritage."

Frost’s ending in Deception / Unchained:

Sub-Zero returned to Earthrealm only to find many of his clan slain by Frost. She had come back to the Lin Kuei temple with the intention of killing only him, but she was now delirious and saw Sub-Zero everywhere. Sub-Zero blasted her with intense cold, freezing her until she could be revived and cured of her dementia. He laid her on an altar in the chamber of fallen Lin Kuei and sealed the room with a wall of ice. Frost will one day recover. When that day comes, she will have to answer for her crimes against the Lin Kuei.

Kuai also cared for Frost in the Original Timeline, besides of not expressing this so much because of how DA/D were written and displayed, there’re these bits in their bio cards and endings that show that Kuai Liang cared and even was proud of her. Most important here: he wants to give her a proper burial after her betrayal, he carries her to these mountains in Outworld to put her in this ice sarcophagus once, he does it twice then believing that she will answer for her crimes against the clan. All of this is because he respects Frost enough to not let her decaying like the corpse of an enemy (is interesting how is mentioned in his MKDA ending that he took Frost back to the Lin Kuei, but in his MKD bio card he says that he left her in this place in Outworld that was casually a vestige of who they are). Anyway, this got longer than expected so now you have to read this word vomit.

PS: I had to watch Frost dying again, I just want you to know that I hate that scene so much that I always skip it. I watched it only bc of this...

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

killer queen

(in which the author is self-indulgent, aziraphale presents as female, and crowley is torn between holding on and letting go)

note: i definitely wrote this while blasting killer queen, but that was probably obvious

this fic was loosely based off this request by @olivianeesan! i really went wild with it but it was fun so hopefully all's well that ends well

i'd like to apologize in advance because my 1920s nerd had a field day writing this lmao

~*~

Go to America, they said. It's the perfect place to plant the seeds of evil, they said.

Well, they'd been right. But that didn't mean Crowley had to like it.

Of course, his dislike wasn't inherent to America, at least not necessarily. Though he'd never admit it, he'd been in a seemingly perpetual bad mood following his falling out with Aziraphale in 1862.

They hadn't spoken since. And 60 years had already passed.

What was worse was that they didn't usually leave off on such a bad note. And even if they did, they would reconcile within a week or two. But this time, they hadn't.

Maybe that was what irked Crowley so much. The lack of reconciliation. Not to mention he wasn't particularly interested in digging through his emotions to figure out what else might be sparking his frustration.

(It was possible, even, that a part of him was afraid to find out.)

That being said, Crowley ended up being pretty successful in America. He was successful everywhere, of course, but Jazz Age America truly was the perfect feeding ground for evil. Americans were always looking for a little sin. Speakeasies, bootlegging, the stock market - corruption flowed through the veins of this country.

Currently, it was the middle of the night, but the speakeasy Crowley resided in was thriving. Men were drinking, flappers were dancing, music echoed around the room - in about a hundred years, he was sure this scene would be quite picturesque.

"Hey," a drunken man slurred, sliding into the seat across from Crowley. "Is it true?"

"Is what true?" Crowley muttered, taking a sip of his wine and moving his chair slightly away from the stranger.

"That Killer Queen is coming here tonight."

Crowley paused, processing the news. Interesting. Then he shrugged, not bothering to answer directly. The man appeared to take the hint and left, which was surprising, seeing as he'd smelled like he'd bathed in whiskey.

However, despite the lack of care that he presented, Crowley had to admit his interest was piqued by the man's question. The so-called Killer Queen was an infamous flapper that women hired to "test" their husbands' loyalty. She presumably seduced them to see if they were willing to cheat. It was only a thing among the elite, really.

(No one knew what Killer Queen's day job was, either, but a few rumors were floating around that she worked as a psychiatrist who focused on the trauma of abused women.)

Killer Queen was loved by half of the male population and hated by the rest. Despite this, no one could deny their attraction to her, including or perhaps especially other women.

If she did show up, Crowley had to admit that he'd be interested in meeting her.

"Oh my God!" a flapper with short black hair shrieked as she rush into the speakeasy, her feather boa slipping off her shoulders. "She's coming! She's really coming!"

Huh. Speak of the devil and she shall appear.

Crowley took another sip of his wine, then nearly choked on it as the Killer Queen entered the room.

He'd recognize those blue eyes anywhere.

"Angel?!" he sputtered. He cursed, almost biting his tongue as he realized it might have been better to keep his mouth shut.

Aziraphale glanced across the speakeasy, her eyes widening as she saw Crowley. Crowley tried to look away and pretend he hadn't seen her, but it was too late. As Aziraphale passed by his table, she sent him a look that said:

Meet me in a private room in ten minutes.

In reality, it wasn't her look that spoke, but rather her words were spoken telepathically into Crowley's mind. Sometimes being a supernatural being was convenient, even if telepathy did feel rather invasive. Tended to leave a person with an itch on the back of the neck.

Crowley found himself unable to take his eyes off Aziraphale as she walked away. The angel rarely presented as female, but he found her to be as beautiful as ever. The glittery silver flapper dress she wore hugged her curves in a way reminiscent of Bessie Smith.

Wait.

He was supposed to be angry at the angel. Not ogling her.

(Fortunately, Crowley had always been very good at multitasking.)

~*~

Crowley pulled the door shut after entering the private room, tossing his hat down on the table. "Fancy running into you here, angel. And as a flapper, of all the fashion trends to choose from."

Aziraphale's face turned a pretty shade of pink, and she fidgeted with the strings of pearls hanging around her neck. "I needed to, well, it was necessary to assimilate myself as a bit of a party girl, my dear."

"So I've heard, Killer Queen." Crowley sat down across from the angel, not particularly regretting the acidity of his tone. "You know, you could just admit that you came to fraternize with the American elite. Wouldn't hurt my feelings."

Aziraphale stared at him, her face revealing no emotion whatsoever. Then she sighed, tucking an escaped strand of her wavy blonde hair behind her ear. (The angled cut looked good on her, much to Crowley's irritation and attraction.) "I take it you're still... angry about 1862."

Angry? No, he wasn't angry. Betrayed, perhaps. Frustrated. Tired of the 60 years of resentment that still boiled inside of him. But not angry.

(How could he ever be angry at her?)

Crowley didn't bother to grace the angel with an answer to her question.

Aziraphale bit her lip, which Crowley noticed was an action cuter than it had any right to be. "Will you at least tell me why you're here? In America?"

Crowley shrugged. "Corrupting souls. Committing evil deeds. The like."

"Such as...?"

The silver ribbon that was tied around Aziraphale's forehead and threaded through her blonde hair was distracting, though not as distracting as the lower-than-usual cut of her silver dress.

Damn, he was whipped.

"Urging Prohibition along, for one. Inciting a bit of gang violence. I've already gotten two commendations for encouraging bootlegging and for my help in facilitating the development of increased organized crime."

Aziraphale chuckled, resting her elbows on the table and placing her chin on her hands. "I should have known your lot was behind Prohibition. The intention of the movement seemed too good to be true."

"Without Prohibition, there'd be no speakeasies, no bootlegging, no Al Capone. As humans say, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. And while that's not literally accurate, it is what happened here." Crowley noticed that the angel's nails were perfectly manicured. The relaxed manner in which she sat was ridiculously poised. "Anyways. Care to tell me what you're doing in America, Miss Killer Queen? Besides the whole 'seducing humans to test their loyalty to their partners' affair."

Huh. That came out more bitter than he intended.

Aziraphale frowned. "Who told you that?" She rolled her eyes. "Trust me, my dear. I have not 'seduced' anyone. Besides, I only agree to help the women whose husbands I know are unfaithful."

Crowley raised an eyebrow. "And how are you able to tell, exactly?"

Aziraphale pursed her lips (which were painted a rich crimson, and Crowley couldn't stop staring at them), then sighed. "My dear... Trust me when I tell you that there is nothing more painful than being in a room with two people, one of whom is in love with every fibre of their being, while the other feels nothing. Worst is when they never have, and they never will."

For a moment, Crowley did not respond, simply staring at the angel.

He wanted nothing more than to hold Aziraphale close to him and kiss her senseless, to kiss her with the passion of someone who'd been in love for almost 6000 years.

But he couldn't. He'd never be able to.

An angel could never love a demon. Not like that.

And thus, therein lay the problem. He did understand. Or at the very least, he was deathly afraid that he did.

Crowley laughed. It was harsh. Bitter. "No, angel. I understand plenty." He stood abruptly, unable to be in her company any longer. "I've got to be going." If he stayed even another minute, he might say something he'd regret. "I know you have holy business to attend to. All that jazz."

Aziraphale stood, too, her brow furrowed in confusion. "But you've only just got here!" Her face reddened, and she broke eye contact with the demon. "Not to mention that it's been... It's been a while since we last saw each other, and - and had a chance to... Talk."

"I have to go," Crowley repeated. He grabbed his hat off the table. "I'm sorry, angel."

"No," Aziraphale murmured. "I'm the one who's sorry." She glanced at Crowley, her expression determined and her blue eyes steely. "But as I said 60 years ago, I refuse to be a part of your self-destruction."

Her stubbornness was as endearing as it was frustrating. "I know," Crowley said simply. He placed his hat on his head before moving around the table to get to Aziraphale, taking her hand and pressing a kiss to her knuckles, just above the silver ring on her middle finger. "I forgot to mention that you look beautiful," he said as he let go of her hand. "Maybe hold onto that dress for a rainy day. It suits you."

Aziraphale's face turned a deep shade of pink. "O-Oh," she stammered. "Thank you, my dear. That's - That's very kind of you to say."

Crowley turned around to leave, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"Wait." Aziraphale's voice was hushed. Her grip on his shoulder tightened, though not enough to cause any pain. "Will - Will I see you again? Soon?"

Crowley gently shrugged her hand off of him. He didn't turn to face her. "Goodbye, angel."

He was already halfway out the door before she responded.

"My dear boy... Be careful."

And then he was gone.

~*~