#got a weird brain and i'll put it in situations

[normalhorse]

i recently figured out (after 40 years!!) that i'm autistic as hell - i was talking to my burnout psych and said something like "i should just accept im autistic and think about what that means for me".

twelve hours later the back office analysts in my brain were like "hey, here's an annotated list of things you thought were core personality traits but are actually maladaptive coping/masking mechanisms. you don't have to do any of this shit if you don't want to!"

and boy howdy i don't wanna do those things and i'm not and it's honestly incredible how much more space there is in my head now.

this has significantly improved or fixed a lot of my actual problems, including some that i thought were purely adhd, like a comprehensive inability to think about the future in any meaningful way, which is super wild to me after so long being paralysed there.

the most surprising one, though, is that i stopped driving my body around like it was a shitty robot i hated and started being, you know, embodied in my body, all my physical tension, neck/back pain, tmj issues, etc - they all disappeared. i sat down on the couch in a symphony of joint cracks and creaking then half an hour later i stood up and i could touch my toes. flat-foot squat indefinitely. sit on the floor!! i can grasp my hands together behind my shoulder blades palm to palm which i stopped being able to do when i was 12 or so but i've never been good at sitting on the floor and it's fine now.

this sounds insane, of course, but it's not - i walked past my physio in the street and she stopped me because my gait has changed - my hips unlocked so my feet land wider and they engage differently and my arches aren't falling and - anyway i was not really ready for the range of things that turn out to be coping mechanisms/mask symptoms.

i should write a longer post about this but not today.

I was thinking "oh but I can't be autistic, I'm so good at eye contact and small talk! I know all the right ratios for looking/not looking and asking/answering questions! I even know the best posture to communicate low-stakes friendliness (about 15 degrees from facing them. weight on one leg. 70% eye contact. still hands.) everybody says I'm great!" before realizing I may be refuting my own point

[xavieremix]

okay so the tags on that last post got me feeling those melon collies so i'm just gonna. tagdump in here. slightly sensitive topics? so uh. scroll down (or press J to jump to next post). or read my thoughts like the morning paper. sorry. cheers.

[heexseung]

꒰ 💋 ꒱ ┄ ❛ dark academia ；sanguine ❜

* pairing: vampire!heeseung x afab!reader

* tags: smut, mentions of blood, dom/sub dynamics, mild degradation (m. receiving), cunnilingus, handjob (mutual), edging (m. receiving), praise (m. receiving), piv sex, exhibitionism, heeseung's a brat

* summary: heeseung, your lab partner for alchemy, is acting strange over a blood-red potion you both accidentally brew in the evening.

* word count: 6k

* a/n: here you go darlings, hope you enjoy ❤️‍🔥 please have a lovely day !! and if there are any mistakes, please don't hesitate to let me know and i'll fix it <33

The blood-red liquid in the flask stares at you in an almost menacing way and you squint at it in return, wondering what the hell did you do wrong this time. Did you boil it too long? Or maybe you used the wrong ingredients?

No, that’s not possible, you triple checked all the ingredients and the amount before using it. Perhaps you missed a step? Giving out a frustrated sigh, you push your hair back with your hand.

You turn to look at your lab partner, maybe he knows what’s going on but as soon as you do, your breath briefly catches in your throat. Heeseung’s staring at the flask that’s in your hand in a really weird manner.

As the seconds roll by, you watch as his brown doe eyes widen slightly, his pupils dilating, his stare becoming more and more intense. He even licks his lips and takes an audible gulp. It’s as if the potion has him entranced just by existing.

“Heeseung.”

Your voice doesn’t catch his attention so you opt to snap your fingers right in front of his face. In response, he blinks once, then twice, then shakes his head and turns towards you. Giving you a sheepish smile, he apologises for zoning out.

Despite saying so, his eyes go back to staring at the flask in the same weird manner again after you put it down on the flask rack. It makes you feel confused, what is this potion?

Wanting to find some answers, you start searching through your alchemy textbook. Too occupied to pay attention to your surroundings, you don’t notice what Heeseung’s doing until it’s too late. When you do notice, he’s already got his hand on the flask and is now drinking the potion.

“Heeseung, wait, no!”

Quickly grabbing the flask away from him, you start nagging at him, “Are you crazy? What’s wrong with you? You can’t just be drinking any potion that you see, we don’t even know what this is!”

But his eyes are spaced out and you’re pretty sure that he’s a goner, not even here anymore. A drop of red liquid trails down from the corner of his mouth to his chin and he doesn’t even bother to wipe it away. He just keeps on staring at the damn flask in your hand.

Because of the way he’s acting, you’re prompted to throw the whole potion inside the sink in front of you. You hear him whine as the last drop of potion disappears into the drain.

“Goddamn, I know you’re a vampire and all but come on, don’t you have any self-control? When was the last time you feed?”

As soon as you’re done dumping the contents of the flask, you give it a shake, making sure there’s nothing left of the potion. Immediately after, you feel his body slump against you, his head buried in your neck.

Surprised at his sudden action, you take a step back in response, trying to balance yourself and him. Then, gently placing the flask down on the table, you rest your hand on his head while your other hand rests on his shoulder.

You both stay like that for a while, him not doing anything except breathing heavily in your neck and you just wondering why what the hell is going on.

Then, all of a sudden, you feel lightheaded; your heart starts beating faster and there are suddenly butterflies in your stomach. Your knees start getting weak and you have to rest your hand on the table to steady yourself. It’s also getting harder to get your eyes and brain to focus on the situation in front of you.

And then he does something; he licks the side of your neck. That’s when it hits you and you kind of realise what he’s trying to do.

“Are you trying to feed on me?”

Although he doesn’t answer you verbally, his actions tell you his answer loud and clear. As soon as you feel his fangs graze against your neck, you tightly grip his hair and roughly pull his head backwards. That earns you a sharp hiss.

In his dizzied state, he somehow manages to choke out, “Please?”

Feeling sorry for him, you wonder how long he hasn’t been feeding for him to be this desperate. As he looks at you with lustful eyes, you ask him, “Do you want me to call Jay?”

You slowly let go of your grip and continue in a soft tone, “I don’t know what to do in situations like this…”

Heeseung just stares at you intensely and licks his lips in response, most likely focusing all his energy on keeping his seductive trance on you. Closing your eyes, you do your best to control yourself since it’s obvious that it’s up to you to control the situation right now and although it’s hard to resist him, you try.

That doesn’t mean you succeed though. Because the moment he starts whining in your ear, you move him so that he’s the one leaning on the table now. Your lips quickly attach themselves to his and despite his initial shock, he melts into you rather quickly.

Moaning into your mouth, he pulls you in closer to him — so close that your bodies are pressed up against each other. As he lets your tongue ravage his, your heart begins to beats faster and your head begins to get dizzy.

Practically feeling your self-control slipping, Heeseung can’t help but smirk to himself as you start trailing kisses on his neck. He lets out a soft moan when he feels you biting his neck — he can’t help it, vampires are more sensitive than everybody else.

His body rocks into yours and although he really likes what he’s feeling right now, he’s so terribly desperate for some blood and he can’t really keep up his seductive trance on you anymore since it’s draining too much of his energy. So he lets go of his grip on you, not physically though.

Slowly, your senses start coming back to you and you blink as your eyes adjust. Taking advantage of your still dizzy state, he whispers to you in a low tone, “Want to trade?”

Despite still being a bit dizzy, his words pique your curiosity. You hum at him, encouraging him to explain what he means.

“My body for your blood.”

Okay, now you’re really interested. Since you’re back to your normal state, you’re fully aware of what’s going on and fully in control of your actions now. Still, you can’t help but blink at him, a little dazedly, not sure if you heard him correctly or not — not sure if this is just a fragment of your imagination or not.

Does he really mean that he’ll have sex with you just for a bit of your blood? This situation seems absurd to you, especially when taken into consideration how you know that Heeseung doesn’t have sex with just anybody.

It’s obvious because you’ve never once heard anybody talking about how it was like having sex with Heeseung and you’re sure that if someone did have sex with him, they would brag about it to hell. And you can’t blame them because you’d do the same. What can you say? Heeseung’s a really hot vampire.

But maybe your mind is in the gutter and he doesn’t really mean sex — which is a more logical situation. Maybe he just means doing service related stuff like carrying your bag to class or buying you lunch?

Just as you are about to ask him to clarify what he means, he whispers in your ear with the same low tone he used before, “Whatever you want from me.”

“Whatever”… that means…

Yeah, it totally means sex. And just to be sure you got the right message, he looks at you in the eye and continues, “I know you want me. You wouldn’t have been all over me if you didn’t.”

“Now, hold up. I think I should remind you that you used your seductive trance on me.”

He smirks at that. “I mean, yeah but you still wouldn’t have kissed me if you didn’t want me. The trance doesn’t make you do stuff you don’t want to do, you know. It just makes you honest and impulsive… like a truth serum.”

You narrow your eyes on him, contemplating your choices. Truthfully, you’re not much of a fan of getting blood sucked right out of you.

Looking at you with a pleading look, he tries to coax you into agreeing with the trade, “Please? You can have my body. Hell, do whatever you want to me. Just give me a bit of your blood. I’m so thirsty right now, please?”

There are so many questions you’d like to ask him; why you? Why not just get Jay to get him a packet of animal blood? Will it hurt? How much is he going to take? What about the side effects?

As if he can sense your thoughts, he rests his hand on your waist and pulls you in closer, “Come on, please? I’ll be a really good boy for you.”

Sighing, you tell him seriously, “Hee baby, I don’t think you know what you’re getting yourself into.”

But he’s already shutting you and your thoughts up with a kiss — one that turns heated really quickly. Since he obviously doesn’t know how intense you can be, you’re going to show it to him.

As your tongue goes to explore every inch of his mouth, he lets out a soft moan, not even bothering to fight for dominance. By the time you pull away from him and rest your forehead on his, one of your hands is already palming him through his pants while the other covers his mouth, forcing him to stay quiet.

He can’t help but whine as he slightly grinds into your hand, his breathing heavy and his eyes full of lust. His hands leave your waist — one goes to your wrist (the one that’s palming him), gripping it tightly while the other goes on the table behind him for support. You push your palm against him more and he whines again, throwing his head back.

Bringing your lips close to his ear, you whisper to him, “Are you really that desperate so much that you’re willing to whore yourself out just for some blood?”

Unable to deny, he can only nod and gasp in response, his grip on your wrist tightens.

“So desperate that you’re willing to be my slut, huh?”

You feel him shiver for a bit before he nods again. He stares at you with half-lidded eyes for a while until you finally get the memo that he wants to say something. Letting him speak, you move your hand that was on his mouth to play with the neckline of his t-shirt.

“But like, can we not do it here?”

You laugh at that. “Where then?”

“My room?”

How could you ever say no to this man? You give him a nod in agreement but something crosses your mind — you’re curious about one thing.

“What are you gonna do about this though?” He bites his lip as you say that, his ears turning a soft shade of red as you continue to press your hand against the bulge in his pants.

Quickly taking off his black jacket, you take a step back from him as he ties the arms around his waist. It doesn’t hide much but it’ll do. Besides, you don’t really care much about it. That’s more of a him problem.

“There, let’s go.” Grabbing your hand in his, he starts pulling you to the door but you, being a responsible university student, remind him, “Hee baby, I know you’re impatient but we gotta clean up first.”

He groans at that. Nevertheless, he doesn’t complain and quickly cleans everything up with you.

┄┄┄┄

The walk to his room is quick since it’s quite close to the lab. When you both get there, he asks you to wait outside for a moment. It’s not a big deal for you so you wait outside in the hallway while he does whatever he’s doing, maybe doing some last-minute cleaning.

By the time the door opens again — which isn’t long, a confused Jay steps out. He notices you standing there and you see a spark of realisation in his eyes, the confusion on his face disappears instantly.

“Hey, Jay.”

He smiles at you and just laughs in response, saying he’ll be back at 10 and to have fun. You watch as his silhouette disappears out of your view and by that time, Heeseung’s already pulling you into his room.

Once you’re inside, he traps you against the door, body pressing against yours, his hands on your hips and his thigh in between your legs. His lips immediately meet yours in a fierce and passionate kiss.

It doesn’t take him long before he pulls away from you and starts kissing down your neck. It feels good and you love neck kisses but you know what he’s trying to do.

Keeping your guard up, you run your hand through his hair and grind into his thigh. He starts licking the side of your neck and you don’t know how he’s so good at this, he almost makes you forget, almost makes you drop your guard down with every move of his tongue against your neck.

Fortunately for you, you feel it immediately; the feeling of his fangs against your skin. It prompts you to grip his hair and roughly pull it back. He whines in response. “Be patient. You don’t get a taste of me until you’ve earned it, understand?”

You let go of your grip on his hair as he hums, signalling his understanding of the situation.

“Now get on the bed.”

“What are you going to do if I say no?” He says as he gives you a teasing smile.

Oh? So he wants to be a bit of a brat now, huh?

Well, that’s perfectly fine with you, you’ll put him in his place. Grabbing his hips, you forcefully push and move him back. He stumbles a bit as you guide him to his bed — at least, you hope it’s his bed, it seems like it’s his bed.

Eventually, you push him and he falls into it. Wasting no time, you climb on top of him. Pinning his hands down on both sides of his head, you bring your lips near his ear and say to him, “If you’re gonna be a brat, Heeseung, just know that I make brats cry.”

He doesn’t get a chance to reply to you because you’re already kissing him again, all hot and rough. It makes him hard to keep up with you and eventually he just lets you kiss him like that, your tongue once again exploring his mouth. Your hands push down on his and he laces them together, moaning a bit when he feels you push his hands harder against the sheets.

Pulling away from him, you press your leg against the budge in his pants and start trailing kisses down his neck. When he feels your tongue on his neck, he can’t help but throw his head back as he grinds into your leg. It makes you lose control, he makes you lose control. You just want to ruin him, hear his sweet voice beg for you.

“Fuck, we need a safe word because I want to ruin you so bad you don’t even know.”

It’s when you start biting he starts getting noisy. All his gasps and moans start coming out but he manages to choke out the first word that comes into his head, “Apple.”

“Our safe word is apple?”

Heeseung feels his heart beat faster at that, your words repeat in his head; our safe word is apple? God, he wants to do this again with you and he’s not even talking about sex since you two haven’t even gotten there yet. He just wants to be with you, spend time with you, make you happy, make you feel good. And although it’s obvious that Heeseung’s not the type to have sex just for fun but for you, he doesn’t care. He’d let you use his body any time… because it’s yours anyway, he thinks.

He doesn’t want to scare you off or ruin the moment though, so he keeps his question for another time and tells you, “Yeah.”

“Say it again,” you say as your hand lets go of his and starts palming him.

“A-apple,” he stutters, his head starting to get hazy.

“Good boy.”

He practically melts at your praise. It looks like you just found out one of his kinks. Your mind is already starting to think of ways to use that to your advantage because one thing’s for sure; you’re gonna make him beg. You’re not sure if that’s gonna be easy or hard but that’s what makes it fun.

Sitting up, you straddle him. Your hands move to unbutton his pants but just as you’re about to free his dick, you hear a phone ring. A bit annoyed, you look in the direction where the sound is coming from.

“Undress. By the time I come back, I want you naked,” you say to him as you make your way towards the phone.

He doesn’t even tell you that it’s his phone and not yours, he doesn’t really care either way. Besides, he’s curious about what you’re going to say.

You find the phone on his desk, amongst other stuff including books, pencils and even empty blood bags that you pay no attention to. You put the phone at your ear as soon as you accept the call, not even looking at the caller ID.

The sound of a feminine voice whining captures your attention, “Heeseung baby, finally you picked up my calls! Where are you?”

Feeling a bit weirded out, you look at the phone. You give a quiet chuckle when you realise that Heeseung didn’t even save this person’s number. You’re about to look back at Heeseung until you feel his arms wrap around you, pulling you flush against his naked body.

He feels so good like this — his built chest pressing against your back, his head in your neck, you feel his hard-on against your back too. He’s being a brat again because one of his hands is starting to grope your breasts underneath your shirt while the other starts making its way to your cunt.

“Who is it?” He whispers to you as he plays with your boob, kneading it in his hand. His other hand is already underneath your underwear and he’s rubbing circles against your wet cunt. He’s so good at this too and you let him continue while you return your attention to the person on the other side of the call.

“I’m sorry, who is this?” You ask, not even hiding your heavy breathing.

The person seems outraged, given by their tone of voice when they reply, “Who the fuck are you and why are you answering Heeseung’s phone?”

It makes you want to laugh but before you’re able to do that, Heeseung inserts a finger inside you and starts kissing your neck. His grip on your breast tightens as he pinches your nipple, all the while thrusting his finger as deep as it can go inside you.

You don’t even bother to hide your moan, telling him to keep going, “Yeah, just like that Hee baby. God, you’re doing so good, you feel so good.”

Feeling his dick twitch against your back from the praise that you gave him, he continues his actions with more intensity. You’re sure that he can hear the other person on the line and you’re not sure what their relationship is but you don’t care because right now, Heeseung is yours and you’re gonna make this person know that.

Meanwhile, this person is more than outraged, even more so when you tell her, “Sorry babe, Heeseung’s mine,” and hang up the call. When you finally put down the phone, Heeseung starts speaking.

“Sorry about that, I don’t know her, she’s been stalking me like crazy. I’ll make it up to you, I promise,” he says in his usual soft tone, worried that you might get the wrong idea.

But you really couldn’t care less. You grab his hands and reluctantly pull them off you. Then, you spin around so that you’re now facing him. He quickly breaks eye contact with you, knowing that he’s gonna get it now for being a brat… and yet he can’t contain the thrill and excitement in him. It makes him smile teasingly at you despite not being able to look you in the eye.

Grabbing his face in your hand, you make him look at you. His breath catches in his throat when he sees the intensity in your eyes. You wrap your hands around the back of his neck and pull him in closer to you. He thought you were going to kiss him but instead you only pull his head closer because you wanted to whisper something in his ear, “Is there any way that I could mark you?”

He bites his lip at that. The thought of you marking him turns him on more than he’d like to admit. He’d love for you to be able to leave marks on his skin and he’d definitely show it off, he doesn’t care who sees, he wants everyone to know that only you can mark him, that he belongs to somebody and that somebody just happens to be you. But alas, there’s not really any way to mark a vampire if you’re human.

“I… I don’t think so,” he tells you softly after thinking about it, “My skin would heal way too quickly.”

Just to be sure, you try it out. Your lips attach themselves to his neck and as you bite hard on it, a loud gasp falls out of his mouth. He doesn’t complain though and albeit you know that you probably shouldn’t take advantage of that, you still do.

So you bite him again, this time, sucking hard on his skin right after. He holds onto you as you do that to keep himself steady, trembling a bit. When you’re done, you pull away to look at it.

Unfortunately, he’s telling the truth. You watch as the bruise you left quickly heals itself, turning a shade of red back to the colour of his skin. In your opinion, it healed itself way too quickly for a vampire who hasn’t fed in like a week… but then again, you’re not a vampire so what do you know?

He notices you pouting and suddenly remembers something, “Um… but there is… scent?”

“Scent?”

“Yeah, scent. Um, a human probably won’t notice it but others would.

That’s true though. Despite being full human, you already know that everyone else’s sense of smell is very sensitive, so sensitive that they can probably smell you on him from miles away. Okay, that’s obviously an exaggeration but yeah, that works… you guess.

“How long does it last?”

“A couple of days, I guess.”

“Is there really no other way?”

“Not unless you’re a vampire too,” he bares his fangs at you with a smile right after he says that.

Hm, fair enough. Deciding to let it go, you tell him to get on the bed as you start taking your clothes off. Surprisingly, he obeys and does so rather quickly with no teasing comments whatsoever. So he can be obedient, you think to yourself. That means he’ll beg.

He sits down at the edge of the bed and watches you strip down. You don’t have to look at him to know that his eyes are hungry, just taking in every single inch of your bare skin. Pulling down your soaked underwear, you finally make your way towards him.

You know he wants you on top of him. That’s obvious, he’s ready to pull you down onto the bed with him but you have other plans. As soon as you’re standing in front of him, his hands go out to touch your waist but you swat them away.

As he looks up at you in desperation, you grip his hair, throw one leg over his shoulder and pull him into your cunt. Like an obedient puppy, he immediately parts his lips and starts eating you out — licking into you, sucking on your clit, lapping at your juices. You can’t help but moan at the sensation of his tongue on your cunt.

It takes him a while to figure out what you like but he eventually gets there. Your grip on his hair tightens and you start panting when he starts tongue-fucking you.

The feel of his hot tongue inside you just drives you insane. It makes you grind against his face. When he pulls his tongue out to swirl it in circles around your cunt, you’re unable to stop yourself from inserting two of your fingers inside you.

The thrusting of your fingers combined with the sensation of his tongue on you drives you to the edge. There’s a knot in your stomach and you can feel your climax approaching.

Heeseung feels it too and he intensifies his actions to help you get there. You pull his face into your cunt and he moans, the vibrations sending you to a frenzy so much that you start rambling, “Damn, you’re so good at this. Keep going, baby. I’m so close. You’re doing so good, you feel so fucking good, my god.”

With three fingers inside you and a final thrust, along with Heeseung sucking your clit, you let out a loud moan when you finally reach your climax.

Your legs start to weaken and for a moment, you’re worried that you might fall but he has you, keeping you steady with his hands on your waist and thigh. He keeps on eating you out as you ride the waves of your orgasm, lapping up all the juices coming out of you.

When you finally get back to your senses, you notice the whole room smells like sex now and you know you have to apologise to Jay later. It seems the smell has intoxicated both you and Heeseung. You see his eyes start getting hazy, no doubt his mind is a bit dizzy too.

You push him down on the bed and press your body against his. Gripping his cock with one hand, you say in his ear, “I was going to punish you for being a brat.”

He moans and bucks into your hand as you start stroking it quickly, “But you’ve been good and you did well. So I guess I’m letting you off this time.”

He whines your name in your ear as you speed up the pace and you continue, “Do you think you’ve been a good boy?”

Throwing his head back and letting out a loud moan, he nods and says, “ Yes.”

You chuckle at that, you know he hasn’t been very good. Recalling that phone call scene earlier, you continue to pump him while your other hand starts playing with his nipples. “Really? I don’t think so though? Remember that phone call scene earlier?”

He drags out a moan, he can’t focus when you’re being like this to him. Deciding to tease him for a bit just like how he teased you earlier, you start leaving bruises on his neck with your mouth — at least, you attempt to.

And albeit your attempt will forever be just an attempt, it’s still fun to see him squirm under you. His every reaction is delicious, every moan, every hiss, the look on his face when your fingers play with his tip, the look on his face when you pinch his nipples, ugh, you just love it.

Eventually, he tells you he’s close and you increase your intensity and pace. Right at the last moment right before he’s about to cum, you stop touching him completely, pulling your hands away from him.

He whines your name loudly at the loss of your touch and his orgasm. Staring at you with half-lidded eyes, his hands beside each side of his head, he breathes heavily as he contemplates what to do.

But before he could do anything, you’re already sitting up. “You got a condom?”

He nods and replies, “Yeah, at the desk.”

“Good, because if you don’t, I would’ve edge you 5 times before I let you cum,” you say as you get off of him and make your way towards his desk.

Hiding the upper part of his face with his arm, he bites his swollen lip and tries to calm himself down because if he doesn’t calm down, he’s going to cum real fast. Being a vampire doesn’t help, nor you edging him because now he’s the most sensitive he’s ever been.

Breathe in, breathe out, he tells himself.

“Here you go.” You toss him the condom.

You watch him put it on as you tell him, “By the way, I threw away the empty blood bags, I don’t know why you didn’t throw them in the trash.”

“Ah, yeah, I forgot about them,” he sheepishly replies.

“Clean up after yourself, that’s been there for at least a couple of days, no?”

He looks at you in confusion, but before he can comment on it further, you’re back on top of him. You ask him if he’s ready and he grabs your hips and replies, “Wait, no, I’m so sensitive, give me a minute, please.”

Of course, you don’t listen to him. Instead, you continuously grind your cunt into his dick and relish in the reactions and sounds that he makes. He grinds into you too, his body rocking into yours as he arches his back from the pleasure.

Fuck, he’s not even inside you yet but he can already feel his orgasm coming. He’s so close and his jerky movements and constant moaning are proof of that.

Meanwhile, you, you’re soaking wet again. You want his dick inside you yet you vowed to yourself that you won’t put his dick inside you unless he begs for it. So you keep grinding against him.

Suddenly, you feel his hands grab your hips, you hear him say your name in an exasperated tone. “Please, I’m so close, please.”

It’s so fun watching him like this, all wrecked and desperate, desperate to be inside you, desperate to cum. You can’t help but tease him again, he’s just so cute like this. He brings out the sadist in you.

You don’t stop until his orgasm comes close again. For the second time this evening, you stop him from cumming, lifting yourself off of him right before he was about to cum.

“Shit.”

It’s the first time you hear him swear. Despite swearing, the tone of his voice is still soft like usual. He even manages to make swear words sound soft. It makes you want to hear him swear again but you’ve already been cruel to him enough for the day. You stare at him in slight awe as you let him compose himself for a minute.

When he gets back to his senses, he starts groaning. His hand covers the front of his face again. Just by looking at him, you know that you’ve already broken him so much that he’s just begging non-stop now.

He’s a mess under you as he begs you desperately, “Please don’t do this to me, please, please don’t do this to me, please-”

“Shh… okay, okay, I got you.”

“Please.”

You hum at him as you insert his dick inside you. Moaning at the feeling of him filling you up, you start moving. Your movements are rushed since you don’t want to torture him any longer. Heeseung doesn’t stop begging you, he just gets louder as time goes on, moaning in between pleas every time you thrust into him.

He doesn’t even have the energy to thrust into you anymore so you adjust yourself a bit so that he could hit your g-spot. A couple of thrusts later and the familiar feeling comes to you again, the knot in your stomach — you’re close.

“You’re close?” you ask him.

He nods his head in response, begging you to let him cum and to not edge him again. You kiss him and that shuts him up — well not really because he doesn’t stop moaning, but he does stop speaking.

As your tongue swirls with his, you pinch his nipples one last time and that’s enough to send him on the edge. He arches his back into you and gasps as he finally gets his release. You keep going, helping him ride the waves of his orgasm and soon, you’re cumming too.

Slowing down your movements, you eventually lay on top of him, panting in his ear. Heeseung’s arms wrap around you, he’s panting too and still has a dazed just-been-fucked look on his face.

Closing his eyes and throwing his head back, he says to you in a soft voice, “Thank you.”

It’s obvious that he’s spent and you’re glad you both had a good time. You run your hand through his hair and give him tons of praises, “No, no, thank you for being so good to me. You did so well, such a good boy for me, thank you so much. I’m sorry if I went too far.”

He laughs at that, the laugh you usually hear coming from him — rich and cheerful, like it could light up the whole world. You’ve heard it before, it’s hard to miss it since his laugh is melodic and catches your attention all the time… but you’ve never made him laugh, this is the first time.

Feeling a bit of warmth inside you, you smile at him as he whispers, “It was fun… I enjoyed it.”

Can we do it again later? It doesn’t have to be just this one time. He wants to say that to you but he’s scared that you’ll reject him, scared that he’ll blow his chances. So instead, he bites his lip and keeps his mouth shut.

Suddenly, you remember the deal you two had. “Oh yeah, you can have some of my blood now I guess.”

His laidback teasing personality begins to make its comeback as he smirks at you and says in a teasing tone, “Oh? But I’m full though.”

Looking at him in confusion, you reply, “But weren’t you desperate for some blood earlier? When was the last time you feed?”

“just a few minutes ago, when I got in my room.”

You look at him confusedly, as if looking at him would answer all the questions in your head and would explain everything that you’re not understanding. Sensing your confusion, he continues, “Jay got me some blood packets and I drank them before I let you in.”

Oh. “But the deal?”

Perking up at you, he can’t help his genuine smile when he tells you, “Next time then. I’ll call you when I’m hungry.”

Chuckling at that, you agree with him. After all, he did give you a good time. Plus, you’re not the kind of person to break off a deal when you’ve already had your fill.

You move to get off him but he won’t let you, wrapping his arms around you tighter and whining in your neck. “Stay with me… unless you got somewhere to be?”

“It’s getting dark.”

“I’ll walk you home.” A moment of silence passes by and he continues, “Please?”

How can you say no to this man? Especially when he’s giving you such a pleading look with his cute doe eyes. You nod at him and let him pull you back into him. Despite his built body, he feels really soft — just like his personality, and you relax into him as time goes by, enjoying the moment you have left with him before Jay comes back.

[with-my-murder-flute]

Cristabel and the proverbial sandwich

(Spoilers for Harrow and Nona the Ninth)

I have not known inner peace since I saw someone say, "But come on, does anyone ACTUALLY buy John's story about how the nun died?"

Because honestly, I'd just kind of gone, "Super random, very weird interaction, boy there sure are cult mindworms at play here," and moved on to the next page.

But as soon as I saw that question asked, the amount I did not buy that story hit me like a load of bricks, to the point I'm kind of amazed that I ever did believe it.

Two people. A locked door. A nuclear standoff. A close-range head injury.

On one side, a full-fledged Catholic nun—well done, that’s the classic—who's best friends with a staunchly atheist world-class scientist and believes, if we're to believe John, that Jesus's problem is that he didn't stick to office hours.

On the other, a woman described as, "A total delight. Effervescent. Kind to animals and children. A master of the sword. Did not have the intellect you’d ordinarily find in a sandwich or an orange, and was a sickening twerp into the bargain."

Oh, and in the middle, there's also a necromancer who wants to bring back his friends... minus any little details about things he they might have done wrong. He "knows where memory lives in the brain", and they "won't have any of it." And "guys as careful as me don't make mistakes," but then again, all that means is that if he kills someone, he did it on purpose.

C— talks her way into a locked room with John, who's on the phone threatening some world leaders with a nuke, expresses care and concern for him, and then... decides he needs more data on the soul? And kills herself to provide that for him?

I'll be honest, I just don't believe that John was an ordinary guy, totally normal, could be any of us, and he just got put in a really stressful situation and made some bad choices but who HASN'T done things they aren't proud of??? I reject that point of view completely. Like, Elon Musk in any given interaction probably is really stressed out and unhappy and having trouble responding in a way that's at all well-considered or emotionally mature, but that doesn't mean that Musk isn't also, at baseline, a deeply stupid, petty, immature, grandiose, entitled, egocentric person. No matter what situation you put him in, he's going to keep on being those things.

I think that John's initial idea was to put the entire human population of Earth, minus some necessary staff, into some giant cryonic freezers, and give the Earth some amount of time to rest and recover from the effects of human-caused pollution. A plan about which I will confess some hesitation myself; being told "just lie down in this coffin, bro, you'll only be a little dead, I'll totally bring you back to life* in a couple centuries (*98% effective!) " does not fill me with an enthusiasm to hop on board.

And then his project got cut. And he decided, "Well, if they won't agree, I can just make them agree." After all, all that end game needs is 10 billion frozen corpses hanging out in those tin cans, and a small team of staff left to keep the place running. How it gets there is something he can afford to be flexible about. If people won't climb in on their own, he can put them there.

So when C— or the nun tell him to stop focusing on revenge, to bend all his energies to saving the world, I think he thinks: Well, I am. He's gonna wash the earth clean at the end of this! He just needs to be able to set the dominoes in motion. He just needs to engineer a situation that will justify taking his nuke out of the vault and making the pieces fall.

A situation that would be sabotaged, ruined, if anyone made a true deep sincere good-faith effort to talk him out of Plan Nuke and called the legitimacy of this crisis into any sort of question. He needs to prevent that from happening.

Actually. Also. He needs one more thing than that.

He needs an excuse to use the nuke, but also, he's finishing his homework at the very last minute. He still hasn't mastered the soul. He does need a few more test subjects.

Maybe he let her in and thought: Two birds with one stone, eh?

[speedycoffeedelight]

An Animalistic Disaster

Summery: You finally realise the truth behind these animals

Masterlist

CH-10 : New forms revealed

Charlie and Vaggie both felt the weird sensation from before. Of their bodies being mashed together and remade. Once the light subsided they were shocked to feel a pair of arms and legs again. And both of them not being so small anymore. Charlie and Vaggie both looked at each other.

Charlie still had her milkish white skin with red hues on her cheeks. But they were less extreme. She now had baby blue eyes. On top of her long blond hair was a pair of horns. Her height had shrunk into normal human height as well. She had hooves instead of normal feet. She was still wearing the dress before she got turned into a sheep. But she could feel a hole behind her dress as well as a tail coming out from it.

On the other hand Vaggie's skin was much darker then Charlie's and she had long brown hair that almost looked black. She also had light brown eyes. She had two antenna's that sprouted from her hair. She did shirnk a bit but not as much as Charlie. There was a eye patch covering her lost eye.

They both looked over to their middle where you sat dumfounded. All three of you were so close you guys were practically hugging each other. You finally decided to break the silence and talk.

"W-who are you guys..?"

You were still blushing from the close proximity of them. It didn't help the fact they looked so breathtakingly gorgeous. Their faces looked really familiar to you but you just couldn't put your head around it.

Charlie took a deep breath as she decided to answer you. "I'm Charlie, Charlie Morningstar. I'm the sheep that has been staying with you all these time" Then she looked over at Vaggie. "This is Vaggie, the moth" Vaggie awkwardly smiled and waved to you.

Your jaw practically fell open from shock. Your brain finally connected the dots on why they looked so familiar. "Wait, wait...you mean like Charlie and Vaggie from Hazbin hotel?? The cartoon show?"

"Yes it seems like it. It looks like we're cartoon characters in this world " Vaggie said. "Can you explain to us why that is? It might have a way for us to go back!" She added quickly.

"Hold on now Vaggie. Let her calm down first. She still doesn't know what's going on. It must be a lot to take for her at once.." Charlie said sympatheticly looking at your still shocked expressions.

"Hold on then, if you guys are the ewe and the moth...does that mean.." you looked over to the animals that came to your room. "That deer is definitely Alastor without a doubt" Alastor nodded his head. " The cat and the snake is Husk and Pentious.." they nodded in affirmation. " Spider is Angel..the puppy...the puppy must be Niffty since she cleans so lot!" Niffty barked happily. "And lastly this squirrel should be Cheeri based on the recent nut event"

"You got them all correct! You're really smart!" Charlie said happily. "Please don't get mad or kick us out. We may be demons but we won't harm you!" Charlie said with pleading eyes.

"Speaking of demons, why do we look like this?" Vaggie said looking at her and Charlie again. "That isn't how we looked like before" she said while touching the antenna on her head. "It must be some kind of new form of ours. Some kinda...human-animal hybrid form!" Charlie answered. "At least we can now communicate with her now"

"Okay, this is great..the animals that have been invading my home for like the past week are the characters of my favourite cartoon show...wow I'm really going crazy now aren't I?" You asked looking around the room and laughing a bit. "I'm probably dreaming right? I'll wake up soon and you guys will be gone"

"It's not a dream (y/n), I can promise you that. All the days we spent together are real" Vaggie said softly before putting her hand on your shoulder.

"Fuck it, I don't care if you guys are real or not" you said finally accepting your situation with a newfound ecstatic expression "I have a lot of things I want to say to you guys" You looked at Charlie first.

"Charlie my sweet adorable demon belle, you're baby and I'll protect you at all costs" you said looking at Charlie with pure adoration, making Charlie blush and look away. "Vaggie and Cherri, you're both a bad bitch and I respect you! Keep girlbossing always"  Vaggie and Cherri both gave you a big smile.

"As for Angel.." you said looking at the spider " I love you and I'm sorry for everything you've gone through. I wish to hug you if I could. I swear if I find Valentino in front of me someday I'll fucking strangle him with my own hands" you said the last part with venom in your voice.

Angel didn't know what to say. It was to be expected that you knew a lot about them. He thought you'll say some simping shit for him as he saw before. He didn't like to admit it but hearing your pure kind words warmed a part in his heart.

"Husk, my favourite grumpy kitty cat. Man, I vibe you most of the time. I want to get a drink made by you someday and get drunk with you" Husk mewoed back.

"Husk said if he becomes 'humans' like us, he'll grant your wish" Charlie translated it for you making you smile.

"Pentious, you're the literal definition of boy failure and I love you. I can't wait to see more of your chaotic self in future" you said cooing at him. 'What'ss a boy failure? ' He was confused but happy with your compliment.

"Now for Alastor...." You said looking at the deer. Alastor smirked as he readied himself for your showers of praises and swooning.

"You're a stinky ass deer"

Cue the record screech.

"You tormented me a lot these past days!Now It finally all makes sense!"

Angel was dying laughing in the background as Alastor's eye twitched in anger.

"But even with all of these, I love your charisma and your unique personality in the show. I love your dark sense of humour and your radio voice. I'm quite captivated by it" you said smiling a little.

Alastor's grin came back. Of course you loved him, he knew that already from before. But that doesn't mean he wasn't offended by the first part.

"Thank you for your kind words (y/n), you don't know how much it means to us" Charlie said smiling widely.

"I hate to break this sweet moment..but (y/n), could you please tell us more about our show...? The 'Hazbin Hotel'? " Vaggie chimed in. All of them turned to look at you. You inhaled a deep breath in. How do you exactly explain to someone they come from a show?

"Hazbin hotel is an adult cartoon animation from its creator Vivienne. That's where you guys are from" you said awkwardly scratching your neck.

"So..is she the one who made us..?" Vaggie asked.

"Yes, you, your backstory, the world, everything. There's only one episode out for now but season 1 is dropping very soon" you paused, letting them take the information in.

"Have I been just a part of someone's imagination this whole time..?" Vaggie asked looking at her hands. "All the things, all the pains I felt...were they not real?" Charlie looked sadly at Vaggie and pulled her closer for a hug. Almost everyone in the room felt the same as Vaggie.

You sort of expected this existential crisis to happen. "No, it's very much real, I promise you" you said as you put your hand over Vaggie's and gave her a comforting smile.

"If it wasn't real, you guys wouldn't be here. You guys being here is the proof that it's as real as it can get"

"Hell, all of these makes me feel like I'm not real either! I feel like some kind of weird cliché protagonist of some stupid wattpad or ao3 fanfics that I read. But that's not true right?" You turned to look at everyone.

"I'm right here, I'm real and you guys are too. It goes for all your feelings and experiences as well"

"(Y/n) thank you..." Charlie said now holding your hand while sniffing a little. "You don't know how much it means to hear that" she said teary eyed.

"It's my pleasure, I should also show you the things that are released. You guys would understand more if you saw those" you said while moving up to get your laptop from the table "Also how did you guys end up here?"

"It's a long story...." Charlie started. "I'll say it this time Hun, rest for now" Vaggie said cutting her off, she knew Charlie still felt guilty for this mess. So she decided to tell it instead. She started telling you as you opened up the pilot episode on YouTube .

"Damn, I understand now. But how did you guys turn human again? Well mostly human?" You asked.

"We don't know either! Me and Vaggie were just,uh,having a totally normal conversation and then we suddenly turned into this!" Charlie said while blushing. She didn't dare reveal what they were talking about.

"Uh-huh....riggght...also here's the pilot episode!" You said finally starting to play it.

Charlie and Vaggie sat next to you on both sides, making you blush a little. Niffty sat on your lap while Angel, Husk and Cherri sat in front of you guys since they were small. And Alastor stood while resting his head on top of yours.

Firstly came Charlie's singing about heaven and crying, which she was a bit embarrassed about.

'let me know when you come back with something creative to call me you sack of poorly packaged horse shit!'

'Heh! That line still rocks' Angel said while laughing alongside Cherri.

Meanwhile Vaggie and Alastor was more keen on noticing every single detail they could find from it. Then the scene switched to Pentious.

'Look everyone, That'sss mee!! I look so sstylish in here!'

'And there's me rocking your shit old man! Hahaha!'

It was then time for the interview of Charlie. Charlie covered her face with her hands beside you, already knowing how that would turn out while you patted her back.

'oh, harder daddy~'

'son?'

This part never failed to make you laugh. Even Husk laughed at this part seeing Angel's confused face.

'Jokes are funny, I made you look sad.. like an orphan! With no arms or legs..with progeria!'

'Hah! Now that was a nice description!' Alastor said before laughing. Making Husk look at him with 'wtf is wrong with you face'

'hel-'

'-lo'

'Hey Vaggie?'

'what?'

'The radio demon...is at the door'

Now this was Alastor's turn. "Ohh, there's my creepy boy" you squealed holding Niffty. Alastor raised an eye brow at being called your 'creepy boy' but decided to just keep watching.

'Oh Vaggie, I didn't know you thought so highly of me! Why I'm flattered!' Alastor said with a shit eating grin as Vaggie was explaining Alastor's past to Angel in the show. "Shut it you pompous bastard" Vaggie grumbled beside you. You couldn't hear what Alastor said but you assumed it was one of his snarky remarks.

'And what can you do my effeminate fellow?'

'I can suck your dick'

'Hah! No!'

You practically mimiced the voices as it was being said. You heard this joke various times already. Charlie laughed looking at your expressions while mimicking. You looked quite adorable, she thought fondly.

Finally Husk and Niffty got brought in. 'Ooh!!look!!look!! It's me! I'm cleaning hehehe...' Niffty said barking from your lap. And Husk sighed remembering how he lost the winning game cause of him.

'You thought it would be some kinda big fucking ride just to pull me outta nowhere? You think I'm some kinda fucking clown??'

'maybe!'

You couldn't hide your giggle at that. "I'm really sorry Husk but it was just funny" you said while giving him a headpat. Husk just let you pet him this time while grumbling about how shitty alastor is.

"Also everyone, notice how husk is the only one without any pants in this episode" you said while giggling.

This caused Husk's eyes to widen as he looked back at his cartoon character carefully. He indeed wasn't wearing any pants. 'Ohh,husky~ I didn't know you were into stuffs like this~' Angel cooed at Husk while teasing him. Alastor's eye brows furrowed at such indecency.

"How come we never noticed this unusuality back then?" Vaggie asked looking at you. "How did we just think Husk not wearing pants was normal?"

You shrugged. "Don't ask me, I don't have a clue either " you said resuming the episode.

Alastor's song began to play, 'Inside of every demon is a lot cause'. In middle of it you looked at Alastor "I'm never going to forget the fact that you slapped Vaggie's ass canonically"

"He did what??" Charlie glared. "Slapped Vaggie's ass, look here" you went back to that time again and showed it. 'Damn smiles I never knew you had it in ya!' Angel said laughing while Vaggie groaned.

'I only did that to mess with miss Vaggie. I assure you I had no other intentions' Alastor said to a very angry looking Charlie. "You shouldn't have done it in the first place! " Charlie pouted while crossing her arms.

Finally the ending came with Sir Pentious getting extremely overpowered by Alastor.

'My egg boysss...I miss them..'

"So this was Hazbin Hotel! Next up we have 'Addict', a music video featuring Angel Dust and Cherri" you said looking at the pair.

"But I want to ask if you're ready first Angel..." You asked softly, knowing what was about to be shown.

Angel's breath hitched in his throat. Cherri gave him a sympathetic look. Angel didn't know how to feel about this.

'I....'

[remedyturtles]

on maybe a lighter note, i am also currently rereading death wish (something must be in the air), and i myself was wondering if sensei could see casey in a similar manner to the way the boys got to see him via draxums spell. mostly so case could get to actually hug and see his dad again, even if just for a short moment, it's a concept that i thought was super sweet and would likely help both sensei and casey deal with This Whole Situation.

oops tripped and wrote 1.3k abt this my bad

[]

"Open your eyes."

Casey hugged his arms closer to his chest, heart thumping.

"Come on, hermano." Leo coaxed, jostling him from the left, a grin in his voice. "You made it in here. Don't you want to see?"

Casey wasn't sure he wanted to see, because he'd convinced himself that this wasn't going to work, that he'd climb into Leo's mind and find only darkness. That he would never see his dad again. Casey told himself it was okay, over and over, that he was okay with what he had been gifted back, that he'd thought he lost. Even if it didn't look like his dad.

But Mikey had put a bunch of effort into learning the spell from Draxum specifically for this moment. Casey carefully peeled one eye open, and a shiver ran over his skin. The atmosphere was undeniably different than reality, it had the same sensation of walking into someone else's house with your shoes on.

The ground looked like resin, back-lit with sparkling glitter, and there was the thick trunk of an enormous tree right in the middle of a gorgeous midnight blue sky, dotted with stars and constellations. The branches cross-cut through the huge ceiling and the roots crawled out in tangled fingers reaching towards their feet.

"Woah." Casey said, because this wasn't what he was expecting at all.

"Isn't it neat?" Leo spread his arm and spun in a circle, tipping his head back at the scenery. "Who knew something this cool could exist in my brain, right?"

Casey approached the tree, hand out, and pressed his palm to the bark. The sensation that washed over him was a warm bath of rosewater.

"That's Sensei." Leo told him. "Metaphorically. I have actual Sensei in here too, the tree is just a representation."

Casey had heard them say that Sensei was a tree, but it was different to see it. The knots and branches, budding green leaves and the humming feeling that ran up his arm when he curled his fingers against the bark.

"Are you ready to see him?" Leo asked, from behind him.

There was a second of quiet. Casey shut his eyes again, breathing. He didn't know what he was scared of, it seemed silly to be this afraid. But he was, because he'd accepted he wasn't going to see him like this again. And that was fine. He wasn't upset, he was grateful.

Except Sensei was in here, as he knew him, and Casey's heart splintered in a grief he could not name. Losing something, getting it back different, but being offered the chance to see the original again. Would it ruin that gratefulness? Would it hurt too much to see that version and see the shadows that should be standing behind him?

Sorrow soaked through the rough texture. Casey gathered it up tight and found his bravery from the well inside him. He said, "Yeah, yeah, I'm ready."

"You sure?" Leo said, and the worry was a lemon taste in the air. It was weird being in his head.

Casey turned around to give him a smile that he meant wholeheartedly. "Yeah, I'm good. It's just a lot."

"He is a lot." Leo agreed, and pointed behind the tree. "Head that way. I'll give you space to do that on your own. I'll be over here, I'm gonna get Mikey in so we can see who can climb the tree the fastest."

"My money's on Mikey." Casey said.

"I will take that bet." Leo grinned huge, only to immediately soften it. "Go on. He's waiting for you."

Casey trailed his fingers on the trunk, feeling the tingle like static electricity as he circled around the back. The vast night sky continued on infinitely, and it took care to step over the roots and not trip. Casey kept his eyes on his feet until he was back on that sparkling resin-like floor, heart pumping hard, as if it was trying to punch out of his rib cage. He stopped in place, afraid to raise his head.

"Now it's easier for me to appreciate now how much taller you've gotten." Sensei said.

The sound of Sensei's voice felt like a crack splintering up a pane of glass. Casey's breath caught in his throat, sore. That familiar timbre was enough to renew his bravery, and he looked up.

Sensei. The impressive height, broad shoulders, and crinkling around his eyes. The dark circles, scarring up and down his skin, and the old sorrow that he could never quite shake. All wrapped up in persistent love and care that poured off him.

Casey used to wander around bases looking for height above the crowds, remembering his heart leaping when he spotted green in the masses. Recognizing an approaching figure from gait alone, trailing behind and holding one large finger in his whole small hand. Leaping full speed at this exact image after a long mission without his dad.

He didn't feel like he'd gotten any taller. Right now, he felt about five years old. He finally breathed again, the shaky inhale dangerously close to fracturing into something else. He said, "Hey."

"Hi." Sensei smiled, and the crinkles lit up around his eyes. And he sounded just as nervous as Casey.

And that just wouldn't do. Casey closed the distance between them, not wanting his dad to be afraid that this was -- he wasn't even sure what Sensei was thinking, that he'd disappoint him or something stupid like that. So instead he threw himself full speed at Sensei with the complete confidence that he would be caught.

And he was. Sensei bent his knees enough to swoop him all the way up, singular arm iron tight and lifting him straight off his feet. Casey muffled the singular sob that escaped into Sensei's shoulder, keeping arms locked around his neck. No matter how afraid he'd been coming in, he was more terrified to let go now.

"Oh, Case." Sensei said, and kissed the side of his head. It erupted a nostalgic joy, painful and old, slotted back into place. He'd felt that a thousand times before, just like that. It felt right.

Casey merely tightened his hold in response. The glass fissured and split. He gasped for air as it shattered, and he began to cry.

"It shouldn't matter." Casey hiccuped, barely able to catch his breath. "I didn't want it to matter. I wanted -- I want it to be enough, just to have you in my life. I don't want to care what form."

Sensei hummed, and lowered them to the ground, gathering Casey in his lap and tucking him under his chin.  It broke the shards into smaller flakes, because this was his dad who could surround him completely, protect him from the world even with just one strong arm. Casey curled up small and selfishly relished the feeling of safety. The sensation of it was so unbearably familiar.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with that." Sensei said, after a moment, squeezing reassuringly. "We can be grateful for what we have and equally grateful for a moment like this."

Casey soaked in the warm rosewater feeling, and reached to curl his fingers on the edge of Sensei's plastron, the tears streaking down his cheeks. He said, "Thank you."

Sensei pressed his smiling mouth to the top of Casey's head again, and said against his hair, "I love you to death, Casey Junior."

"You've loved me past that." Casey hiccuped, and squeezed his eyes shut painfully at the overwhelming rush. "I love you for a billion years."

"Oh it's a billion now?"

"I'm ambitious."

Sensei chuckled and squeezed again, in all the ways he'd been missing.

Casey didn't think about when they'd have to let go. They had a billion years, after all.

[sehodreams]

hi hi ! idk if you’ve been asked/answered this already but do u have any recs for blogs/works like yours?? i love your works!! but its so hard for me to find other ones like them, thanks !!

Blogs like mine? 🫠 Uhm I have no idea hahaha, I don't feel my work has the same vibes of the masterpieces I like here, I could give recommendations of blogs/works I like here tho! I don't feel comfortable tagging them because they might not like it, sorry but after one situation I went through I prefer to just mention them like this or perhaps putting the link, just to make sure I don't bother anyone 🫥👌

1. @/muntitled has a ton of fanfics I love, her Sungchan fics are top tier, and the possessive! jealous!Sungchan is like a blueprint here in the community ❤️‍🔥 (darkish content)

2. @/5ungchan HAS THE BEST SHOTARO FIC HERE GO AND READ IT, DARK, CHOCKING, PLOT, SUBSTANCE SUBSTANCE SUBSTANCE 😫 (darkish content)

3. @/riizeblr I enjoy all their work a lot! Like I'm sure I'm one of her biggest fans, I always have my notifications for her on and everything she writes is a masterpiece (I have a ton of respect for her too because she writes mostly drabbles and how the hell do people do that and put plots too??? She's fucking awesome!). Also, pretty sure you know her already because she's got a steady place in the community (she was the first dark!riize writer if I'm not wrong) but I'll still mention her haha (dark content)

4. @/snoopyana is taking a bit of a break after an accident, and she's also known so you probably know her (damn riize Tumblr writers are all pretty known I fear 😫), but I like her Anton fics a lot! Maybe so you can repeat them hahaha (dark/darkish content)

5. @/tonisbabydoll is still fairly new, she just started a Wonbin series! But I'll be honest, I'm sure she's mostly known as the riize Twitter link girl too 😂, I have a lot of respect because she can come with things so fast???? Like I have no idea how her brain works but she has a ton of ideas for her asks. Also, she's mostly into hard hours. (Sometimes darkish but she's more into tame stuff)

6. @/b1mbodoll writes for many groups (no riize) and it might not be your taste since she has a lot of hybrid!aus but I ADORE HER WORK. She's one of the few blogs I've seen write for &team and I'm a big Nicholas fan so she saved me 😭😭😭 (dark)

7. @/dr0wnme0ut has great fics too! However she's not a riize writer (she writes for Enhypen). Lately I've been reading more stuff from other fandoms because I've also been having problems finding riize fics my taste 😫 but Enhypen is a great option! I love them so much just because of their fanfiction lol, it has that little weirdness I adore 😍❤️‍🩹 (dark blog too)

8. @/teasteeper writes for wayv and I adore her loser!yangyang, it gave me reason to live too and I tried to write for him but I'm afraid I don't know them that well and the fic got abandoned 😫 (darkish content)

[moodywyrm]

bookish lil crush

college au! Abby Anderson x bookworm! reader

she is occupying my every thought I want her so bad but here!!! a lil series of thoughts I had about abby bc she is so cute I wanna hold her hand. occasionally nsfw/suggestive at times so MDNI pls go away u can’t be here I'll block u 

also listened to do I make you nervous by dreamer isioma while writing this! I am also!!! so down to talk about these books and other books pls talk to me about books in my asks I love reading so so much and so does abby! or talk about college abby bc she is rotting my brain away 

wc: 1.7k im sorry idk how

Thinking so much about Abby developing the most debilitating crush on the cute girl in her class who is always early and always reading

Like one day she decides to show up to class earlier than usual, bc she usually gets there like 5min before class starts and gets stuck with weird seats or super packed aisles that had the only seat open and it really sucks

So out of spite she just starts showing up unreasonably early (1hr before class) to make sure she gets a good seat and low and behold there is no class in that room before her english class (bc I firmly believe she would do an english minor and like maybe kinesiology? I have not put too too much thought to her major but i would love to hear opinions!), so she gets her pick of the entire room!

She nestles into the third row bc it’s the perfect spot! Not too far back to be easily distracted but not immediately in front of the professor. I think she’d pick an end seat, but the ones next to the wall and not the aisle bc she knows she’s a bigger girl and she doesn’t want to make people like crawl over her to get a seat and she’s always super aware of how much space she takes up anyways

There she is! In her lil seat! An hour before class just hanging out! She’s checking her laptop and her phone and getting her note-taking situation set up and god she is so regretting not bringing like a book or something bc this is a lot of free time and it would be perfect for reading and then!!

Like fifteen minutes later you show up and she doesn’t really notice until you sit in the same row as her, a few seats down

She looks over and she is f l o o r e d bc who is this cutie??? Have you always been in her class??? How did she not know??? She thinks ur so cute in ur lil outfit, how much shorter you look compared to her, even in the seat, ur headphones in and ur music barely audible and she’s just staring at this point and oh god oh no you notice and now she wants to crawl into a hole and decay 

You, unbeknownst to her, are completely Awestruck by this absolute goddess of a woman who is suddenly sitting in your row and thank god she didn’t take Your seat that you have been sitting in since the class began and oh god ur not gonna change seats now so you have to sit next to her

So you act Natural and pull out your stuff as you usually would, including your current read!! Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo!! Very good very gay and oh my god you hope the mystery girl sees the girls on the cover and gets the hint and you hope that she also likes girls bc wowowowow!!! She’s even prettier the closer you are to her!! And she looks so strong!!! Her arms so big and now ur head is spinning bc she could probably pick you up and mandhandle you and do whatever she wanted and now ur completely off track bc she is just so pretty

And she is staring at you!! So you panic a little bit and send her a lil smile and wave and her heart damn near stops because One she got caught Two ur so fucking cute so she Composes herself and waves back and then

Just turns back to her laptop

Like a coward. Bc u are so cute and she wants to talk to u so bad so Obviously she can’t bc she can and will make a bigger fool of herself than she already did

n this makes you sad bc duh, she’s so cute u thought she was gonna say something but no :( so you just start reading ur book and u get so into it that u don’t notice that abby keeps looking over at u! And she thinks ur so cute! Bc ur so focused and there’s this lil crease between ur brows from how hard ur focusing on this book and oops now she’s trying to look at the cover without u noticing and oops now she’s typing it into her browser and would u look at that! It’s in stock at her favorite bookstore! so now she knows what she’s doing after class instead of homework!

so u two sit and u read and she watches and floats aimlessly on the internet and then class proceeds as usual and abby feels so much better in this seat! She can actually hear and see without being stuck with ppl who talk during class or are super distracting on their laptops bc ur the closest to her and ur a diligent little notetaker! truly the best idea she’s ever had good job abby :)

Immediately after class she hauls ass to the bookstore and picks up the book u were reading (and maybe two more ok she has little self control in here it’s fine her dad is a neurosurgeon) and she starts reading it that day and omg!! She loves it!!! She reads like half of it in one day and forgets to do her homework and oh shit okay she has to bust out two discussion posts before midnight and now she’s panicking but it’s fine she’s got this!

the next time she has that class, she brings the book with her to read beforehand and u show up! But with a different book :( she’s so sad she wanted to talk to u about this one but u probably already finished it! So, of course, she pulls out her phone and writes down the book ur reading now, In A Lonely Place by Dorothy B. Hughes

she is both kinda shocked that it’s so different, some old crime novel but it sounds interesting so after class she runs back to the bookstore to get it and it’s there!! She didn’t even bother to check if it was in stock but it was! obvs the universe wants yall to have this connection so ofc she buys it and starts reading it the next week bc school caught up to her and it took a second to finish the first book :(

so she’s so excited when she shows up to class that week with the book, which she hasn’t started yet! And then u show up! And omg she might cry bc u have another book again :( ur just so fast she cannot keep up but she is gonna keep trying!

another two weeks pass with another two books and by now ur starting to notice that she always seems to be reading the last book u read and u don’t know if it’s intentional but if it is that is so sexy of her and u will hold her hand about it

so u decide to test it! u slow down on ur reading speed for the next book and u intentionally pick a less popular one (???)  bc at that point what are the odds it isn’t intentional? So u show up with When the Moon Was Ours by Anna-Marie McLemore for the next three classes and sure enough! By the second class she has it and she’s reading it and so are u and ur both so excited about it!!

Abby is like ninety percent sure she’s been found out but her suspicions are confirmed when u turn to talk to her, voice low even though ur like the only people in the classroom bc class doesn’t start for another forty minutes, and u ask her how she likes it, especially compared to the rest of the books and she just turns Bright Red

She’s so cute and blushy and tripping over her sentences when she tells u she really likes it even though she just started it and by god she thinks she’s gonna melt into a puddle of pure sapphic when u giggle and smile at her and tell her ur glad!! Bc it’s one of ur favorite books!!

n y’all start talking about the books you’ve been reading and ur both so into it that u completely give up on reading before class today! Not when this absolute sweetheart of a girl is reading the book u read!! For u!! Bc abby straight up tells u she wanted to talk to u but didn’t know how so she just started reading all the books u read bc that makes sense?? I mean it worked so yeah!! Makes sense!!

u scoot into the seat right next to her, abandoning ur old seat :( but for a much better one bc omg she smells so good u wanna bite her or kiss her or sit in her lap and snuggle into her :( and abby is freaking out bc u also smell good and ur so pretty she wants to hug u and kiss u and make u cre-

Anyways eventually class starts :( which sucks so bad but ur right next to her and she maybe finds it a lil bit harder to focus but it’s fine!! She gets through it and at the end of class, she builds up the courage (tbh she wasn’t really listening to the last ten minutes bc she was so Anxious) to ask u for ur number!!! Which u give her ofc, and right before u leave u nearly make her heart pop out of her chest

As u pull on ur bag, u turn to her and say that you’ll text her to set up ur lil bookclub :( maybe you can go get coffee to talk about it :) and by god that is close enough to a date for abby that she just nods dumbly and smiles and watches as you leave, a lil smile on ur face that makes her want to pull u back and kiss u silly!!

She knows then and there that she has to make u her gf or she’ll literally wither away (ofc she succeeds!! She’s abby!!!)

Anyways yeah thinking of her debilitating crush i luv her

[danganronpadedication]

DAY 3: DANGANTOBER

Day 3: Favorite THH Character Makoto Naegi is a cutie patootie. End post.

No, but in all seriousness, I love Makoto. I know I spent the majority of last post ranting about how much I love Hajime, but that doesn't mean I love Makoto any less.

I'll be real, I love the THH cast, so it was very difficult to pick a favorite from that group. I was between Celestia, Junko, Byakuya, and Makoto, but Makoto's who I went with. Like with Hajime, I was worried that Makoto would just be an self-insert character, and in-game, he kind of is? But people also misremember him in game. People characterize him all the time as non-confrontational, and just a hopeful, positive person, but he's a lot more nuanced than that.

Let's not forget that Makoto tried to throw hands with Monokuma more than once, that's pretty confrontational to me. While he puts up a front of a positive, hopeful person, he also has his moments of being affected by everything that's happened to him. Seriously, replay the game, he's got a lot more bite to him.

He's the kind of person I'd want to be friends with, he's a very sweet person, who's not afraid to throw down for the people he cares about.

I also really like his sibling relationship with Komaru. If you skipped UDG, I don't blame you, but aside from the obviously weird things happening in that game, there's also a lot of world building and substance. Maybe watch a playthrough, cringe with whoever's playing it, and get that good lore.

You can see it in the anime too, he just lights up when he sees Komaru's transmission go through, because it's confirmation that he still has her around. Up until that point, he wasn't sure if his family was still around, and now he knows he still has his sister. It's very sweet, and the way he has so much faith in her, and knows she's capable to do whatever it is she needs to do.

But it's The End of Hope's Peak anime that really does it in for me, and cements him as one of my favorite characters. I get it, I'm basic. But one of the bigger points I see get brought up about Makoto, is that they don't really explore the trauma that would go along with being in a game like that. Which is false, but it's definitely something the game doesn't really focus on for the sake of plot.

But in the anime, you can really see how much that affects him. Makoto Naegi suffers from survivor's guilt, and it's so incredibly potent. That moment made me so sad, I had to close my computer and actually GO TO SLEEP? That can't be right. Granted, I watched that episode at like, 2AM, but rewatching it in the morning hit just as hard.

Like with Nagito, Bryce Papenbrook really gives his all for Makoto, including in the anime. You hear it all the time, whether he's just giving someone a pep talk, or reacting to the newest death in the game. He's smarter than people give him credit for, like in the fight with Munakata, he figures out his forbidden action and traps him in a situation where he needs to sit down and talk with him, all on his own. I'd say he's more emotionally intelligent, but he's definitely got brains in his little noggin.

Please, I want his Nendoroid so badly. I own a plushie of him in Future Arc, I bought it at a local fair, and he's my prized possession.

On the topic of emotional intelligence, he's very forgiving and compassionate too. One thing you should know about me, is that I love the SDR2 cast, including when they're the Remnants of Despair. They're cool, their designs are cool, and they're CRIMINALLY underused. Makoto is the one who was able to see past the people they had become, and see the hurt people underneath. Most of the world had written them off as despair-laden monsters, but Makoto actually went against the wants of the Future Foundation in order to rehabilitate them.

Even if it causes him issues, Makoto is very caring and will do what's right. His sense of morality is one that is evidently difficult to skew.

And finally, he's a cutie patootie. The rest of this post will be GIFs of him looking adorable.

Lord, let me pinch his cheeks.

-Mod Tsumugi

[the-osborn-way]

Ghostface ranking please n thank you

OH MY GOD YES YES YES I LOVE RANKING ALL THE GHOSTIES

My ranking of all 15 Ghostfaces so far (yes.... I'm including Jason and Greg because if I don't, SOMEBODY'S gonna bitch about it I know--)

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR ALL 6 SCREAM FILMS

Rankings under the cut

Stu Macher (Scream)

The BEST Ghostface to ever Ghostface. A BIT underrated just because people will sometimes give Billy more credit. But like- hot man. Has no actual motive for killing, Billy was like "Hey, dude, let's kill people" and he literally needed nothing more. Thought up of some of the key parts of their plan, definitely gutted Casey and Steve, probably put Kenny on the van by himself (Billy wasn't around, so-) . Definitely top 3 or 4 strongest Ghosties to date. And the humor-- okay, I could go ON AND ON about Stu, but I'll stop here. Matthew Lillard really took the character from boring in the script to one of the only parts of the original film me and my mother (who's TERRIFIED of horror films and would rather forget them) remembered from our first watch when I was 13. (She said she'll never forget his laugh and that she hates him. ... She then got me a t-shirt of him not 3 weeks later for Christmas. Sorry, Mom-) Great job, man! Stu stole my heart, LOTS of my money, and a large part of my brain, so it's safe to say he'll always be my fave and an icon in my eyes. (Literally wearing my Stu shirt as I type this, what a fun coincidence LOL-)

2. Charlie Walker (Scream 4)

I said what I said. People either adore Charlie or despise him, and I love him DEARLY. Yes, he's very attractive, but on top of that, he racks up one of the highest kill counts by a single Ghostface alone in the entire franchise, beaten only by Roman, I believe. From Olivia Morris, which was obviously his kill, to tossing Rebecca Walters off a building, to Jenny and Marnie... definitely Robbie... Kirby... Kate Roberts... man just went crazy with the kills, and I respect it. He had loyalty, some great lines, a HILARIOUS deleted scene ( ), and he kept cool under pressure, never revealing himself until absolutely necessary. Do I relate to him? Yep. Is that bad? Probably, but I love him anyways.

3. Jill Roberts (Scream 4)

Another maybe controversial ranking, but I love Jill! I think her motive is fantastic, the way that she uses Charlie to get what she wants, and as someone who has acted innocent in situations where I'm definitely not, her acting is spot on. I never thought about it being her until her reveal, and it's still one of my favorites of all time. She is also, I believe, the Ghostface who got closest to the goal of killing Sidney and getting away with it, so congrats, girl! You had the whole world fooled till the hospital! She's a great take on what I think is the modern version of Billy Loomis, and she nailed the innocent act, truly. Did she kill anyone? Probably, but I can't think of anyone who I know is 100% a Jill Kill. Either way, good for her for not getting her hands dirty, or FOR getting her hands dirty! Impressive no matter what in my mind.

4. Billy Loomis (Scream)

Dont worry, Billy fans, he's still in my top 5! The only reason he's not my third is because I think he's just a BIT overrated. If the movies weren't constantly making him seem like he was the only killer and completely alienating Stu (I think there's a reason for that, but I won't explain that here), then I'd put him above Jill. I know that's a weird reason, but it's my reason. Billy is a fantastic manipulator who knew how to get exactly what he wanted from Sid, and also was a repressed drama queen, which I relate to a lot. While Stu was openly crazy, Billy hid behind the stone cold semi-facade. I don't think Billy would ever have gotten as crazy as Stu did, but he definitely showed the drama in several ways that make me smile and laugh every time. Falling down a flight of stairs? Fucking up Stu's couch cushions? Comedy gold every time. I give Billy credit for stabbing Casey, killing Himbry, and killing Tatum. I think the rest were Stu's because of the gutting and where Billy was at the time. I also think he killed Maureen, so a nice 4ish kills for him! Anyways, top tier Ghostie, another one I'll always respect respect and love.

5. Amber Freeman (Scream 5)

I'm gonna be honest, I hated her when I first watched Scream 5. Hated Richie too, but he's still terrible. Fuck him. I thought Amber was a trashy, third rate version of Stu that was extremely fake and her turn from cold to goofy seemed extremely forced. Then I took a deep dive and figured out why. (If you want a full explanation, let me know, I'm trying to stay short here.) So I believe that Richie is this movie's Stu and Amber is the movie's Billy. From her plans, her using the house, just her very cold, calm demeanor in the beginning, she just gives Billie energy, while Richie is just... well, he's the Netflix guy. He makes jokes left and right. But Amber, I think she was trying to be the Stu while Richie was trying to be the Billy. Everyone forgets that Stu was a boyfriend too, (Billy's) Tatum's boyfriend. Amber was supposed to be Tara's girlfriend in the original script. So now, I see her third act as more of her desperate attempt to look like her idol instead of sticking with the persona that served her well for the rest of the film. That really made me appreciate her more, and made her feel even underutilized, as did the Macher house. (I LOVE THAT HOUSE. I LOVE IT. Well, the actual actual house, not the Scream 5 version.) So yeah. Amber was a cold blooded killer trying to be just like the Macher before her, even if that wasn't the part she was meant to play in her movie. Taking credit for Dewey's kill? Absolutely. She was in the cult and she just wanted to piss Gale off by saying she did it. Fantastic lines, wonderful creep factor! Her death- *chef's kiss* Lovely homage to Sidney shooting Billy. And that's my top 5!

6. Quinn Bailey (Scream 6)

The only member of that damn family who did a good job killing. Richie included. Funny? Check. Didn't see her coming? Check. Ruthless? Double check. I don't think she did Gale's attack either, I think that just like Amber, she took the blame for someone else's work just to keep them hidden. Besides that, she was a good character, someone you thought was long gone until she wasn't. Bonus points for her saying Stu was her fave and definitely being the one to stab Mindy on the subway. Maybe not the greatest Ghostie ever, certainly low on kills, but I enjoy watching her a lot.

7. Nancy Loomis, aka "Debbie Salt" (Scream 2)

Another hidden killer who deserved more screen time after her reveal, and more backstory. I love her motive of "good, old-fashioned revenge", and I can see her killing Randy out of rage. Killing Mickey? Nice way to keep things in her favor! Debbie Salt was eh. Don't remember her much tbh- I would've liked to see Nancy more as herself, she just had great potential. Did she take some kills? Absolutely. Got her hands dirty to honor her son. But that's what I don't like. She leaves Hank, then suddenly after Billy dies, she's like the best mother ever?? Killing for the son SHE left?? Her leaving is the reason Scream happened, paired with Maureen and Hank's infidelity-- that's why she's a solid 7 in my book, and the best of the worst. Only goes downhill from here, folks.

8. Mickey Altieri (Scream 2)

GREAT in the Act 3. Other than that? Um... he was okay, I guess? He had some funny lines, but where I really like him is in the possibility possibility of what he's done. He definitely killed for Nancy, he was insane and just wanted people to see him that way. He DID talk to Matthew Lillard in the background of the sorority party... Mickey and Stu working together?? His Act 3 was good, he showed he could be a good Ghostface, scared Sidney, killed Derek... but that's where this ranking and my positive comments about him stop.

9. Wayne Bailey (Scream 6)

Classic parent who wants revenge, angry, pulls it off decently. He has some good moments, funny, a definite suspect, and nowhere near as good a cop as Dewey. Points for trapping the Core 4 (minus Mindy) and Kirby in the second coolest location in the franchise, but that's where my positivity stops. Sam killed him easy, he was a shit parent until Richie died I bet. Did he get his kids to murder? Oh yeah, I think he's the one who made this whole plan up with Quinn and Ethan's help. He doesn't really stand out. Did he kill?? Even wear the fucking mask?? I honestly don't think so. I would put him lower, but compared to the next three... yeah, he's fine at 9.

10. Richie Kirsch (Scream 5)

WHYYYY. WHY. The only goof thing I can say is that like 5 of his lines made me laugh, and he also hates Stab 8. Me too, dude, that looks BAD. Motive? Pretty good, solid movie motive, getting with Sam to get the job done. Ruthless? Yeah. But he's sloppy. He's a Stu without the magic, just trying to make a movie. Him dating Amber?? *vomits* KILL ME NOW. He was 100% manipulated by her, I know he was. A sad attempt of Billy Loomis that leaned more towards Stu, and his cheesy shit throughout the film made his "true colors" seem kinda dull and not very scary. I don't like him. I don't.

11. Ethan Landry [Bailey] (Scream 6)

Like father, like sons!- all in my least favorite 5 of legitimate Ghostfaces. How much screen time did he have?? Not enough. Innocent guy, "I was in Econ!" to "HAHAHA I'M INSANE NOW!!"? I hate it. His transition was too forced, he was bland and stupid, his attempts at faking his knowledge about everything were embarrassing and made him look worse as a character. The easiest Ghostface to spot. I don't know, I mean I get people like him because he's insane and attractive, but I don't. Sorry to all of you who love this guy and his family. His best scene? When Tara stabbed him in the mouth. You go, queen!!

13. Roman Bridger (Scream 3)

Fuck. FUCK. I hate him, I hate this movie, I hate it all. His motive is pretty solid, I actually like it a lot... but he was stuck up, whiney, and underutilized. Like Ethan, low screen time, unbelievable shift from loser to villain- did he even share a scene with Sid?? Talk to her?? And this makes Billy and Stu look like lackeys. I HATE IT. I would've much rather had the Stu leading a Ghostface cult film, but I know why they went this route instead, and I respect that. Like Ethan, the best part about him, and of this movie, is his death. Dewey missing his head like 5ish times before finally hearing Sid and going for the head Thor in Endgame style?? Comedy. GOLD. I love Dewey Riley. But yeah, I just don't like Roman at all. His strengths are his motive, his INSANE kill count (I think he had an accomplice.), and his physical strength. Besides those? Useless. Sorry, Roman die-hards.

14. Jason Carvey (Scream 6)

Not bad for a Ghostface killed in the first 15 minutes. He had the makings of a good killer, definitely in the cult, but his time was just extremely short. Nothing much to say about him, but his only kill was a fantastic start to the film. I would put him higher, because I think he WAS a good Ghostface, but... 10 minutes or less of screen time? Sorry dude, don't know you well enough.

15. Greg (Scream 6)

Who?? Saw him a fridge. That's it. What's his last name, I don't remember- No screen time, not even alive on screen. Nothing more to say. He was probably pretty good though, if he was anything like Jason.

And there's my ranking of all 15 Ghostfaces!! If you want to add your own, feel free to below! If you wanna comment on mine, please be respectful, but I'd like to know why you don't like characters I do, or like ones I don't. If your faves are my faves, share!! I love finding new Scream buddies!! And thanks for listening if you made it this far, that was LONG.

[triglycercule]

murder time trio should get to all experiment with dead bodies. why? because they can and it would be cool (okay but seriously i'll provide an explanation). all these freaks are scientists. i think it would be cool and funky if they all got to experiment! except morbidly and bloodily because none of them are right in the head now

killer like has his whole thing with wanting SOULs for some unspecified reason??? i'm just gonna steal the common interpretation that it's so he can find a way to fix his own soul through coding. but like,,,, what does he do with the desd bodies??? all the fellas he stole those souls from??? well this is where dust and horror come in

it's One Panel and i'm ABSOLUTELY reaching here but there's a (single) panel in horrortale where horror's pulling apart some sort of human limb like an arm with a device. why? what for? i dont fucking know at all man like papyrus said why is he always doing something weird in his room. anyways i'm just gonna guess its probably for rationing in horrortale (but it could also be that horror just felt like ripping apart an arm. for scientific purposes. or because he did this after ripping off aliza's arm so maybe he's doing some sort of recollection reflection or something i dunno im not a professional on this man). killer could totally send all the already dead HUMAN bodies horror's way for horrortale's food situation. maybe horror likes to dissect the humans yk maybe he's not just the type of bash (a head open) and dash. monsters dust so you cant see their guts but humans dont so horror gets prime time first hand experience on the human body! and then after he's done poking around in the brain he can give the meat and organs to papyrus for him to do his specific spaghetti confectionery

but but but what about the monsters that killer takes the souls from! surely he doesn't just take from only humans (dude idk if he actually does take from only human or monster. probably not right? he needs to study BOTH types of code so he can be most informed) so he must also take monster souls. and fortunately for dust (i do NOT think he'd quite like handling gore) monsters don't leave behind bodies or blood or allat they leave behind dust. hah. dust experiment with dust. i think its already a headcanon out there that dust likes to study dust. i cant exactly recall WHY exactly but maybe it's for sentimental reasons or just something to do to pass time between resets. so killer can just pass on whatever dust he gets to him and he can put it under his little microscope and be a little nerd what a GEEK. give this guy glasses and remove all his teeth but one i guarantee you he'll look like 🤓

and once again i hear you cry out but but triglycercule! why would killer even give the dead bodies and stuff to horror and dust in the first place??? erm number one because i said so silly. jk. and number two (if we're going in a nightmare's gang context here) it could be as a way for killer to gain horror and dust's trust. a way for them not to tattle on him for stealing souls for some unknown reason. maybe there's somehow important coding information left behind in the bodies/dust (because that's literally what utmv is made of) and killer wants dust and horror to do that work for him for some reason. maybe just a way for him to get rid of evidence maybe if theyre buddy pals and close enough just as a gift. i dunno man there's a bunch of reasons as to why he could possibly do this. i just really liked the thought of the trio all wearing fancy lab coats and goggles and i was like damn how can i make this a real possibility

[farasen]

So... racing AU

Brain rotting brain rotting

Here I'll write a lil concept for dwk racing au, who what which and blah blah blah

I'm not very familiar with all the intricacies of racing and driving technics so it's gonna be pretty surface level. And I don't know jack shit about car models, so you ain't gonna see them there.

Okay then, let me tell you about the characters. They're all amature street racers, aiming to become pros. Also they're aged up so all of them are in their early 20s. They made a team called DWK and challage other street racers and even pros.

Leon. He is known for his agrresive driving style, like putting the pressure on the opponent by driving VERY close to their car (he'd never hit it tho), speeding up and drifting at a high speed. But he's good at it and shows good results at the time trials. Prefers to lead if ''cat and mouse'' kind of race. Good with mechanics, not as good as Raban, but he can take care of his car if needed. Got in a several accidents due to his driving style before, yet he's alive somehow. Probably got a rear wheel drive car, but dreams of all wheel drive.

Marlon. This guy is good on wet roads, somehow driving the car at a high speed on it. Unlike his brother, he doesn't show his whole potential right away and puts more thought into when and where it's better to speed up and overtake. Always achieves high level of concentration and thus can react quickly at critical situations to prevent anything bad happening. Has a rear wheel drive car too.

Vanessa. The guys didn't want to take her on their team for a long time, because:

She is a woman

She used to be a biker

These two factors made dwk very skeptical of her being on the team. If the first one is obviouse, the second is because she didn't really drive cars before she got one, or so they thought. Actually I haven't made up my mind on how she was tought to drive cars. Perhaps, her grandma landed Vanessa her car and that's how she gained some experience. She ended up on the team eventually after winning ''cat and mouse'' race to Leon. Their driving styles are pretty alike as it may seem, she drifts and speeds up at corners, but she's rather defensive in a race. Also, since she was a biker, can handle bikes as well. Drives a rear wheel.

Markus and Jojo. I think it's better to talk about both of them in one paragraph since they usually work together. Jojo doesn't have a car so he drives Markus'. The irony is, even though Markus is the one who owns a car, he usually serves as a navigator, his ability to concentrate and memorize the road is very helpfull. It doesn't mean he isn't driving his car at all, but his speeding and braking techniques lack good execution. Unlike Jojo's. They compensate each other's disadvantages, which makes them a good duo. Nonetheless, they can manage racing on their own, even though it would take more effort. They drive all wheel car.

Deniz. When I said all of them are amatures I kinda lied since Deniz is very close to the title of pro. He's a rally driver and has some experience in official competitions, just like his father. He's known for his outstanding skills at driving off-road and dealing with winding road and sliding through corners. Has a high level of concentration, but maintains it... in a rather weird and maybe even dangerouse way - by holding his breath. If gets carried away it might lead to the opposite outcome - loss of concentration so he's gotta be careful with that. His father wasn't happy with the fact that his son does street racing and wastes his time instead of preparing for actual competitions, but allowed it later. He has a rally car, thus an all wheel drive.

Raban. The only one who has a front wheel drive. Mainly uses grip technique while racing. Kinda sucks at it tho. What he does good is tuning and mechanics. He learned that from Hadschi and sometimes Raban helps him with service. While he may not be a good driver, he's a good navigator. He spots everything that's happening on the road, calculates the time and finds better trajectories to pass the corners faster. Very helpful to Willi with these skills.

Willi. An ex-pro, who got in an accident which prevented him from racing anymore. Now he dedicates his life to making these teens achieve their goals. Usually does all the planning and comes up with strategies.

Hadschi. The mechanic and engineer of the team. Does all the tuning and set ups for the guys. Knows a lot about cars and can give information about weak and strong points of the opponent's car.

---------------------------

That's all for now. Idk if I ever going to continue working on this AU, it will probably sink into oblivion like the rest of my AU concepts. I'm drawing some concept art, but I haven't finished it. I hope I will. But if not, have a peek, just in case. Might change them later on, but most likely not, I'm lazy.

[shock]

This one is definitely my favorite so far in my collage solar system, so I wanted to post it. Hopefully I'll get some nice scans once all the pieces are done, but here's a spotlight on Neptune Side 1, "MEMORY".

The photos on the left are all pictures I took as a kid with film my gammaw got me before she died, and most of them are from the same day we took a walk together. The photos on the right all include her except for one. I can't remember HOW I managed to get ahold of the time they hired a stripper for her birthday, but I've always found that set of photos to be really evocative and I feel like I found the perfect use for them! 🤣

The text reads:

One fine day in 2006, a wild deer wandered into a Target store. When animals are traumatized, we make careful, logical calculations. Which is what the deer did.

After falling down the stairs, skidded around for a half hour, like when Odysseus opened a bag of captive winds, would surrender for a second, then dash from one event to the next. Until out of sheer frustration, I threw a bucket. But it made the deer race right through the window.

"F---ed up beyond all recognition."

If I had known what that maneuver would cost, I would probably have let the deer go.

A couple of days before she died, she took me to the ocean.

My log adds, I had some nice things to eat. I have never seen a being, human or animal, always so full of joy. Talking to her filled me with the power of the sun.

I wanted to hug her, but I didn't. I literally forgot to put my arms around her. We talked again that night on a ship-to-ship radio frequency. You weren't supposed to talk long on that because others might need it.

The next day, she died. I went into the woods, trying to clear my head. I could hear the deer breathing in the darkness. It was weird.

The day after she died, I called and cried. I don't like to yell or scream, but a bad storm brings something out of me. Not until I knew there's be no response did I realize how much pleasure I had taken in calling her. I bellowed up at the approaching storm: All right, you have the power of life and death! Love's no good! I know it! I had so many meetings with different people, I forgot! I'm sorry! So deafen me with your thunder! Go on, then! Scorch up my brains! I defy you! I'll defy you to my last breath!

Who was I defying? God? The deer? The storm? It didn't do any good to make noises of my own.

Sleeping helps. In dreams, I reach out my hand and grab the disease with my fist, drive that f---ed cancer back across an entire wavelength, refuse to contemplate the distant future, have a great talk with her held safely inside my arms.

I think It's worst than a nightmare. It's slow torture, it will drive you crazy, cunningly spooled and folded scenarios spin out in your mind.

Two years ago, I watched tapes of her that only reminded me of how I wanted to hear live people. It took me years to learn how to use them.

It is always interesting to see how situations change and people move from one to the other. Then you walk around a rock, and there it is: names and drawings, graffiti, all of one trade— MEMORIES carved in the rock:

Her life was a gift to me. She'd given me a greater one.

She sounded good.

I got the message. Follow the noise.

Retrace my route between the images of a continuous narrative. I went to the spot where she took her last breath. By then I could hear the deer running through the brush. I called again. This time, with a smile.

It worked. I made contact again.

Of course I knew this time she couldn't come, so my approach changed:

All right, REFLECTIONS can't support life.

That's okay. Keep moving.

GO AHEAD AND FREAK OUT.

Keeping busy helps, too— She lived every moment as though it were her last. It was wonderful.

I love her very much.

Do you want to know a secret?

I transformed into something grown for the pure happiness it brings me.

I feel really good now.

My attention most days is on the here and now.

It's the only real escape there is.

[lucabyte]

your ocs!!!!! please ramble about them!!!!

i love your art so much

(GRABS YOU) H. CAN DO BOSS.

So ! My ocs. I guess I'll do an overall explainer for the overall groups. If you check out my Toyhouse (LINK!) there's a bunch of folders up top that are how I categorise them. It's primarily by universe except for the folders that are just "misc."

So folder 1: Blatant favouritism:

These are silly little guys that don't fit in any specific wider universe, but I really really like. So I'll spotlight the two important ones before i get real in the weeds with my main universe.

In here are notably, my Fursona (self explanatory), Ali and Pittsburgh Cincinnati. There's also Hauntkit and Clearpelt who are warriorcats ocs that *is dragged away by airport security*

... So, Pittsburgh, lovingly sometimes called pissbug, is a weird little Thing who I made as like, an homage to characters like happy bunny and Sweetypuss. She (and her weird dog) exist to stand next to strange and offputting captions. I love her. No further context. She's just silly. and violent.

Now. Ali.

Ali Alighieri has thoroughly stolen the show, and also ties into the next folder along, Making Your MK.

With over a hundred extra images compared to second place (Sorry, Tabitha). Ali is my fucked up little scrunkly. My little baby guy. They're a shared character of mine and @samhainian's, and is from their Creature Feature setting (A modern fantasy setting wherein Cryptids and Magic are real but in our modern world.) They are as such, a modern human young adult... Who is also a demon + magic user.

Strange little pansexual altersex genderqueer poetry-nerd that they are... The modern setting also means they are literally just a tumblr user. A fellow countryman, so to speak.

HOWEVER.... Ali's true origin was in *Purrgatorio*, a scrapped visual novel of mine set in the MYMK universe! They were simply retrofitted into CF as the joke with Purrgatorio was that a regular human had mysteriously just shown up in MYMK's pure-furry setting.... And then when we scrapped the project we got all attatched to our little not-so-blank-slate protagonist. But I'll put a pin in Purrgatorio for later.

Making Your MK.

(Guest of honour: My super unfinished website <3)

Okay so here's the big one. The setting with.... (looks at spreadsheet) 109 characters not including so-called incidentals. At time of writing.

MYMK is home to... Multiple stories. As you would hope when a setting has 100+ characters. I'd wager each story has about 10-20 relevant characters tops but with a big shared universe like this there gets to be overlap between casts!!! Yay !!! 😊😊😊

MYMK is the name of the main story in the setting. Pronounced "Making your Mark", it is centered around Markus Felidae (The purple one) and their family. It's very action-adventure-y. It's also the plot I'm most secretive about the backend of since I WILL!!!!! Turn it into a nice prose story with pictures SOMEDAY!!!!! But for now tee hee hee secrets secrets. Markus' family is strange and ragtag and is keeping something from them... I can't ramble on too long here unless further prompted in asks about specifics but!!! Everyone in the MYMK folder has a fully furbished little profile with a blurb about them. So if you're curious....

But yeah, I tend to think of the MYMK setting more in terms of its Locations than its Casts, due to the overlapping nature of them all. The Malbranche may be the villains of the main plot, but they're also major players in relation to The Palsgrave who are the antagonists of Moraine, etc etc,

The country everything in MYMK is set in is called New Orphidian, Southern hemisphere little thing, here's a very cartoony map of it.

Um. Cliffside!

Since it's the best map I have... Here's an exclusive sneak peek of a Zine I'll be getting back to once the fandom brain cools down a bit.... :3c

(... I REALLY NEED TO DO A TOUR AROUND THE MINECRAFT CLIFFSIDE SAM AND I BUILT..... IT'S SO CUTE....)

Cliffside is situated on a big ol' Cliff.

A tiny hamlet of a place, it used to have reason to exist, and now does not. It's not even a good tourist locale, as the cliff is much too dangerous compared to the nicer tourist spot of Welkin just a little north. Not to mention nearby Moraine's allure as a tax haven with no labour laws place where a bunch of TV and Movies are filmed!

It's where most of MYMK's main cast reside (except the antagonists from the Big City Varmonte), and is as such a location I have a lot of tiny little worldbuilding thoughts about :)

I won't go into the other locations here just because then this post will SUPER get away from me but... I think most importantly for Cliffside right now...

Is that it's where Purrgatorio is set. Yes, that VN I said got scrapped. It's not dead. It is in fact serving it's original intended purpose as "A (mostly) noncanon exploration of character voice and setting"

It's back and its prose babeyyyyyyy!!! (A BUNCH OF THE EARLY STUFF IS ME BEING SUPER RUSTY ... BE WARNED)

Purrgatorio is currently the most publicly available coherent work I have out of my ocs! It's very low-stakes and serves mostly to bash my toys together and see what character dynamics come out, but you can look if you want to!

(There's also a whole THING on the meta of its Canonicity... It's not canon, but it's also not NOT canon. But if I talk about Metanarrative Timeline Collapse in my normal mundane non-magic setting im gonna sound bonkers ✌)

Ali's dynamics with the MYMK cast are so goddamn funny to me. Like I literally just handed my OCs some ET shit but ET is a sexually repressed tumblr user with a mood disorder.

But yeah I don't think I can coherently string together much more about MYMK without just actually explaining THE WHOLE PLOT.... Though I will absolutely elaborate on any given character's Whole Deal if i'm prompted. (OH MY GOD I DIDNT EVEN TALK ABOUT CHROME AND TABITHA. WAIT. OKAY THERE'S. OK NO IF I TALKED ABOUT THEM IT'D JUST END UP AN ESSAY ,SORRY..)

So here's some bonafide classic images for the road.

(IF TUMBLR BREAKS THE FORMATTING AND JUST PUTS THESE ONE AFTER THE OTHER INSTEAD OF IN A GRID IM SO SORRY LMAOOOOO)

... And as for the other folders on my toyhouse!

Misc and Fandom are what they sound like. Self explanatory,

Then, Ysden is @samhainian's fantasy setting. It's where our DnD games happen to be set but it's also a general fantasy setting :)

and Monster of the Week... Is currently being revamped! It used to be a modern world setting with hidden magic, now it's going to be more... Adventure Time-y. Fantasy world get iphone. Yknow. It has a lower Age Rating than MYMK's "anything goes", as it started as a Pitch Bible Project in my animation class. They're a little neglected but I still love them :) The revamp is extemely recent and not reflected in any of the art/writing yet but I'm workin on it. It still doesn't have a proper title..... OTL

So yeah!! Uh. This wasn't as comprehensive as I was hoping but it turns out I have way, WAY too many thoughts on my guys. And no idea what to do when im actually asked about them so !!!! This was not a very coherent ramble but it was a ramble !

There's things like essays on Chrome and Tabitha (Link) and also The Queer Gender Identities Of The Whole Cast (Link) hiding around on my toyhouse, and once again, Purrgatorio (Link) serves as my sandbox for playing with how these characters act in situations.

But..... ! I did try to make my toyhouse approachable for the average layman. Every character in the MYMK folder (Link) has a *blurb* of information, rather than a giant wall of text explaining everything about them. I want people to be able to understand their general vibe at a glance rather than be overwhelmed.

In any case ???? Uh. Fun game for everyone: If you know your homestuck classpect, every single MYMK character has a classpect and lunar sway. and a birthday. Try and find your andrew-hussie assigned kin! As a Prospitian Witch of Heart, I share my classpect and lunar sway with Chrome. No I don't know what this means. It worries me honestly he's kind of an asshole.

[anitalianfrie]

Mondine au - Cele/Bez (390 words)

Ideally a bit of the mondine au I swear I'll write some day (don't ask what this is, I don't know either)

Celestina keeps turning and turning in her makeshift bed, the empty bag her mum gave her, full or recommendations and worries, now filled to the brim with straw. It’s been two weeks, and she hasn’t got used to it yet.

She knows she shouldn’t resent her parents for sending her to the monda. Every girl and woman is in her same situation, but Celestina can’t but let the gnarling feeling in the pit of her stomach grow that mum and dad care more about the rice than they care about her. At least Doriano can stay home, before going away to do the naja.

She doesn’t have this luxury. But she doesn’t have to do the naja either, so she guesses that at the end of the day, they’re in the same situation.

The only nice things are Pecca and Marzia.

Celestina realises she has stumbled upon some weird ecosystem, of girls and women living together for the fourty days of the monda. With their legs deep in the water of the rice fields, back curved and cracking under the sun, straw hats on their heads. The little kids running around to spy under their skirts.

Marzia is – Marzia is weird. With the little space between her front teeth, and the curls barely restrained under her headscarf. She always has some weird tingling in her eyes, a sparkle that is always burning. She’s big and she laughs big and her hands are big, and Cele wants to be like her.

Today she sat near Pecca and put a hand on her leg, high above skirt, spreading her legs as if she owned the world, Pecca laughing and lowering her head on Marzia’s shoulder, and Celestina had the feeling that there was something she had missed.

On her mattress full of straw, she keeps twisting and turning that moment in her head, inside out. She wants to be in, get it like Marzia and Pecca do. Putting a finger on the gnarling feeling that’s eating away her brain in her attempt to understand it.

“Celina, va dromi, che diman t’è strac e nduma a travajè n risera” (Celina, go to sleep, tomorrow you'll be tired and we have to go work in the rice fields)

“Dromo Pecca dromo, sagrinti nen” (I'm going Pecca, I'm going, don't worry)

But Celestina keeps turning and turning, her feelings and thoughts with her.

There’s something she isn’t getting. And she has the feeling she needs to.

[shoehedd]

Hello hi I'm 37 years old today which maybe be too old but holy shit was 36 a wild ride.

Things

1. Left my shitty old job and abusive and weird former boss/mentor

2. Started a new shop with my friends from work. It's been going OK, slowly making more and more money but it's not... livable yet..

3. Had a baby in February with my wife. A gorgeous baby boy who's amazing who's thriving despite our weird living situation.

4. Got our mortgage in principle after about 2 years of super hard work paying back taxes and fines thanks to my old boss

5. A game I was contracting on was released to.. uh actual critical acclaim? I'm pretty sure it did really well!

6. Somewhere in that mix I was finally able to work on art and game design again. My brain finally healed enough.

7. Uh I painted a lot of warhammers

8. After people begging for years I finally put out asset packs worth buying lol. It was a nice surprise.

Yeah, nutso year. If I have any goals at all for year 37 it's to get a home for us. The market here is insane and our initial hopes of a small house is looking more like a medium apartment, but shit I'll take it, as long as we don't go broke in the process.

I dunno where the game is gonna be at this point next year either, I should probably figure out an MVP and work towards it like an actual dev lol.

Anyway yes 37. hopefully a year of more healing and more hard work, in the good way. I've been pretty anxious all year and a little hungry a few times, but it feels different from before when I was having full blown panic attacks while walking to work or I'd miss days of commission because the boss forgot to buy any supplies. Things are getting better and I've learned what I've always suspected which is its way better to work hard for yourself than for some POS 😀