#got a bit overwhelmed with the first one - all the stuff and the decisions and quests and side quests

[danikatze]

[ID in alt text]

Haven't finished the first run yet, but I made a new bg3 character.. Their name is Russet Cuprum, Russ for short :3 (brown and teal like rusted copper is one of my fave colour combos) They're a barbarian but also a Soft Boi ™️

[calummss]

dating 90s/00s eminem …

masterlist 𓆩♱𓆪

kim and hailie don’t exist in this universe

start and development of relationship

i definitely imagine him to take notice of you at one of the underground rap battles roughly 1992/1993

your friend who was interested in going dragged you along one night cause they were really into rap and hip hop

and there you saw him! the one and only marshall marthers destroying every opponent that stood before him

after the battles came to an end you were already attracted to him and tried to get to him to talk to him

here’s how i think it would go:

‘hey, i just wanted to tell you that you absolutely killed it on stage. it’s my first time here so i lack certain knowledge but i know enough to know that you have an incredible talent’

‘thank you. your first time? what’s your name?’

‘y/n’

‘eminem. marshall mathers’

i imagine you to awkwardly shake hands. like i know you’re in the detroit underground scene but neither of you knew how to proceed

‘i hope this won’t be a shot in the dark but can i give you my number?’ your mind literally racing

‘sure, i’ll give you a call if i’m interested’

THIS MAN TURNS AROUND AND DIALS YOUR NUMBER AND LETS YOU ANSWER!! turning around with a smirk and just straight up low key flirting with you

he was embarrassed to bring you to his home but you eventually just showed up one day cause he wasn’t returning calls—you reassured him that you didn’t care and let slip that you loved him no matter what

marshall was definitely a bit overwhelmed at first and took him like a minute to snap out of his trance because it was most likely the first time he truly felt loved, appreciated and cared for

you supported him and his music until he was eventually signed

everyone was confused why you stayed with a man who wrote violent lyrics especially about his wife so you had to explain over and over again that the wife was fictional

and everyone that truly knew marshall knew that he would never lay a hand on you. he would rather d!e than hurt you

three years after you meet you become pregnant and were scared he was going to leave (news flash he didn’t)

he reassured you that if you wanted to keep the baby that you two would figure it out and that he would and could never ever leave your side

you married quick and definitely rushed it but it proved to be the best decision you made including keeping the baby

this lead to the birth of your beautiful daughter—for some reason the name romy jane won’t leave my mind so i’ll just leave it at that

anyway you blink and stardom surrounds marshall

a few hiccups occurred during the relationship but nothing major and you always managed to talk things trough

what the relationship would include

his hand would alway be on your waist! no matter if you’re on his lap, standing next to him or whatever, his hand will be at its rightful place

i believe he prefers cheek and jaw kisses. he loves a good forehead kiss and hand kiss when he’s emotional and talking to you about certain struggles

speaking of struggles; he would always and i mean always put on his strong persona for you but sometimes his walls would crumble and would cry into your shoulder holding you so tight like you’re about to slip from his grasp

you would make appearances in a few music videos

he would also prefer to be in the studio alone but brings you along when all demos are done to get your opinion because he values it a lot (low key more than dres)

of course you would be his main inspiration for a lot of songs, also you daughter, because he admires both of you so much

marshall is 100% a very jealous and possessive man. not overbearing but maybe a little more intense than the average man? he trusts you fully but not others. he doesn’t forbid you of anything but will always say and do stuff to let others know that you’re off limits

i imagine after you got married he got a tattoo of your face or name on his chest like right over his heart

likes holding hands in public and an occasional kiss but nothing more. he prefers his affection to be reserved for only you and not the world

ONLY refers to you as ‘my girl’. when he’s with friends he’d say stuff like ‘yo, where is my girl?’. and others would also refer to you as ‘his girl’. at one point you just got the nickname ‘slim’s girl’ or ‘shady’s girl’ depending on which you prefer

tries to keep you away from hollywood and only goes for recordings, shows etc. when he’s done you both leave for detroit to lead a somewhat quiet life

definitely will buy you a lot of gifts. sometimes expensive or cheap; something that reminds him of you or something he knows you want. he just feels like showering you with gifts. his love language is giving gifts or acts of service. he will watch your favourite show just because you like it

em will always thank you in his speeches!! something along the lines of ‘first of all thank you to dr. dre and my two beautiful girls who i love with my entire heart. you two are my world, i love you!’

but like you don’t understand he will always thank you. he could win a life time supply of soap and he would say your name with pride…he’s just so grateful to have you and to be able to call you family

would hold your bag/bags for you. marshall gives you princess treatment without realising bc he genuinely wants to do it. he will snatch those bags out of your hands before you can protest

when other artists or people take your name or your daughter’s name into their mouths with negative connotations you best believe em will rip them apart, so most people will never attack you or romy bc it’s a death sentence

people can call him lame, bad rapper, ugly, whatever they feel like but as soon as anyone mentions a hair on you or romy’s bodies…it’s over. careers are shredded…you love it though

if you are a girl who likes to get her nails done this is for you; at first you started asking him to choose a design and colour and at first he was confused but he learned to love it especially when you scratched his head or your hands around his yknow what…he even once tried to design some and you got it done

the sex is a mix of mildy rough and vanilla. sometimes you both need something a little more “agressive” but he also needs a calm session. i see it kind as a light switch: it’s either rough or vanilla, occasionally you mix it but it turns out one way or another

also the man is a sucker (pun) for head. like he loves your mouth on him. i genuinely believes it’s in his top 2 favourite sexual activities (don’t deny it i’m right)

extra: if you love marshall right and you two work, it will be both of yours best love, but if things don’t work they can quickly turn into a relationship from hell

[theabigailthorn]

Hey I’ve been a fan for a little while now, and I just wanted to say that you’ve been an inspiration for me, a younger transfemme. But I do wanna also ask: what’s it like being a trans woman with her life together? I’m 19 (as of sending), been on hrt for almost 5 months, and have been trans for a year and change. But I’m scared. So, I guess, I wanted to ask: does being trans ever become the norm, my baseline? What’s it like after 2-3 years? And does it get any less confusing or scary?

I think there are a few things going on here.

I don't have my life together as much as it might seem; I just don't show you all the ways it's not. I don't talk publicly about the auditions I don't get, or the things I try and fail at, or the insecurities in my own head that hold me back sometimes, or the handful of decisions I've made that were bad calls and which still keep me up occasionally. I've talked about trauma and mental illness in the past, but I only ever discuss stuff I'm comfortably over - when I'm overwhelmed or in the middle of a crisis I don't post about it. I don't set out to deceive you by presenting myself that way, I just keep my most private stuff private. Everybody has failures and regrets and insecurities: "it's a sign of having lived," as my friend Phoebe told me today. But you see a curated version of me that appears not only more together than the real person, but more together than any real person.

Also, if you're 19 a lot of your life hasn't been in your control until pretty recently and a lot of it still might not be. I'd say it's okay to not feel like you have it all together. You just transitioned, which I think is one of the hardest things a human being can do: you can give yourself credit for that even if you feel like you're not settled into it yet. Congratulations!

As for it becoming the baseline, I mean yeah? Kinda? At least for me. Sometimes I forget. I had a moment today in the gym where I saw a man and I was like "Oh yeah, I used to be one of them, sortof? Weird!" The first year is the hardest, or so they say. I wouldn't say I get less confused or scared now, just scared and confused in different ways. I worry less about getting attacked in the street than I did in my first year, for example. (I'm lucky and privileged in that regard.) But I worry a lot more about other people. I struggle a lot with survivor's guilt, which is something only people who survive get! Anyone who's had a drink with me in the last six months has heard me beat myself up because the night of The Prince premiere in New York was the night of Brianna Taylor's vigil in the UK. That wasn't a deliberate decision - the premiere was booked and paid for months before she was even killed - but I've become a lot more sensitive to those sorts of feelings precisely because I spend less time worrying about myself. I'm more aware now of what my transness means for other people. Like, I made an ironic joke when I came out that I'd become The Transgender Princess of TERF Island, and it's kindof haunted me since - I didn't set out to become "a famous trans person" but it's happened a little bit and it's going to happen a lot more next year. That comes with serious responsibilities and a few mild drawbacks, as well as perks, obviously. So I guess that's a longwinded way of saying I might be a weird person to ask this question because, at least for right now, my transness, my whole self, doesn't just belong to me.

Oh also, some great advice I got from my friends: Paris: "Only change the things that bother you on your good days," and Mattie: "Don't believe anything you think about your life after 9pm."

[percervall]

Mamma mia, here I go again {pt10}

Summary: A summer of poor decisions leads you to having to face the consequences of your actions —and the men involved. Pairing: Kevin Magnussen x fem!reader, Lewis Hamilton x fem!reader, Mark Webber x fem!reader Warnings: mentions of homophobia, hinting at religious trauma Word count: 1479 Taglist: @ashy-kit @averagef1fansblog @barcelonaloverf1life @bradfordbantams @dannyramirezwife-simpaccount @doofenshmirtzevil-inc @exotic-iris13 @goldsainz @hiireadstuff @iloveneteyam @jaypreshpresh @laura-naruto-fan1998 @monzamash @norrisleclercf1 @opheliaas-stuff @roseseraj @szobosz @vellicora @ystrolllll 

Part 10 of the Mamma Mia series

As promised, the following morning the three of them show up to your hotel room with breakfast. You gratefully accept the take away mug Mark hands you as you let them in. It reminds you of that first conversation you had with the three of them at the beginning of September and you can’t help but feel a little emotional at how far you’ve come since then. 

Sitting down at the small breakfast table in your room, you accept the smoothie bowl Kevin hands you. It’s a little cramped, but all four of you fit around it. Lewis and Kevin catch you up on how their teammates and some of their closer friends on the grid fared during the race while Mark fills in the gaps with what he’s heard from DC and Jenson.

“I can’t believe the FIA ever thought this weekend would go without a hitch. The fact that Pirelli set very strict pit stops windows tells you all you need to know, really,” you say, shaking your head. 

“I’ve heard rumours that they’re looking at moving it later into the season to avoid these high temperatures,” Mark adds.

“That’s the least they can do. Greedy vultures,” you reply, muttering the last bit under your breath, earning a chuckle from Lewis.

“Wait,” you say, a realisation hitting you, “if we’re really doing this, does that mean I am also adopting an Australian rookie?” Mark laughs, head thrown back.

“I guess so. Hope you’re alright with that?”

“I mean, Mick has become like a little brother. Him and his family are the closest I have to one. Him and Jasmine; she’s my oldest friend. I-.. I cut contact with my parents when I was in my early twenties. They’re very religious and it got to a point where it became detrimental to my mental health to allow them access.” Even remembering their disappointment when you went into engineering and not pursued a career in teaching –which was deemed much more suitable for a woman by your parents– makes you feel about two inches tall. It was impossible to live up to their standards and their constant meddling in your love life to find you a man so you’d settle down and become the perfect little house wife messed with your perception of love a lot more than you even realised. 

“That’s also why I completely panicked when I realised I am in love with all three of you,” you continue, pushing through the uneasiness of the memories, “A relationship is meant to be between one man and one woman according to them, and while I have done a lot of unlearning over the years, this took me by surprise.” 

“Thank you for trusting us,” Kevin breaks the silence that follows. He rests a hand on your knee, giving you a reassuring squeeze. 

“I’m trying. When you’ve been on your own for so long it’s hard to let people in. But I want this to work, not just for me but also for this little peanut,” you say, putting a hand on your stomach. 

“We’ll follow your lead, sweetheart,” Mark says, to which Kevin and Lewis nod in agreement. 

“I know we will have to let at least our teams know about what’s going on, but outside of that can we hold off until the end of the season? I hadn’t considered the logistics of dating three people and it’s a little overwhelming.” 

“Works for me,” Kevin nods, “and how about we try to have a proper sit down dinner with the four of us at least once a week? We can think about next steps after the season, but that way we’ll at least see one another outside of the track.” You mull this over. It’s not a bad idea, even if it might prove difficult to get everyone in the same place without living together.

“I’d like that,” you reply.

“I don’t mind us using my house in Oxford for that. It’s got plenty of space for everyone,” Mark offers. You shoot him a thankful smile; staying in the UK as much as possible while you figure out next steps does make it a lot easier for you with regards to your responsibilities at the factory. The anxious flutter you had felt from the moment you had woken up is slowly disappearing, and in its place a calm washes over you. You know that it is not going to be easy, navigating this relationship with so much media attention and different moving parts, but you also know you owe it to this baby to at least try and make it work. There are five races left this season, and with the triple header coming up, you know it is going to be mayhem. 

“Wanna call Toto together?” Lewis asks you, bringing you back to the present. You nod, but bite your lip.

“I just-.. Before we do, I just need to know that you’re all okay with raising a child that might possibly not be yours by blood. I know how Kevin feels, but..” you trail off.

“As long as they’re healthy and happy, I don’t mind. I just know that I am looking forward to doing this alongside you,” Mark says, pressing a kiss against your temple before getting up to go phone his boss. 

“Same here baby. Family is more than just blood. I can’t wait to be one of three dads for peanut and spoil them and you,” Lewis reassures you.

The phone call with Mercedes went about as painless as could be. After what happened and your reaction on Sunday, Toto had his suspicions that the two of you had begun dating. The fact that Kevin and Mark were now also part of that didn’t seem to phase him whatsoever, or if it did your boss had the acting skills to not let it show. You did have to promise him to give Susie a call whenever you felt like you needed a girly chat. 

“That wasn’t so bad,” Lewis muses, pulling you against him. You hum in agreement, content to just stay like this for a minute when the peace is rudely interrupted.

“No. No, you listen to me Gene,” Kevin seethes as he paces the length of your hotel room, “Do you genuinely think they are spying on Haas? We are dead fucking last, what kind of delusion are you smoking?” Kevin looks up and locks eyes with you. Without a moment's hesitation you get up from the couch and cross the room. Kevin holds out his hand and visibly relaxes ever so slightly when you lace your fingers together.

“Guenther had no issues with this relationship. What difference-..” He’s quiet for a moment as he listens to the team owner. Whatever excuse Gene is giving him, it’s the wrong one; Kevin’s eyes flare in anger as he clenches his jaw. A quiet fury simmers through your veins at the way Kevin is being treated. The magnitude of this feeling takes you by surprise, this notion of how you’d go to war for him –for all three of them. You know Kevin doesn’t need you to fight his battles, so instead of taking the phone from him to tell his team owner just what you think of him, you squeeze his hand. 

“No, let me stop you there. I know my sponsors well enough to know that this won’t change anything financially. And even if it did, I am sure that there are plenty of brands who will gladly take their place if it means they can boast about their so-called diversity pledge. And if you talk about my family like that ever again, I quit.” Before Gene can even respond, Kevin hangs up and throws the phone onto the dining table. You take his face in your hands, brushing a thumb over his cheekbone before pulling him closer for a hug. Kevin wraps his arms tighter around you, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“You alright, mate?” Mark asks. Kevin nods, taking a deep breath before straightening up. 

“Steiner was no issue, surprisingly. Gene is a different story. Guenther had forwarded the information because it involves an employee of a rival, just out of courtesy. That fucking idiot first insulted my intelligence by saying how they are using me for information on Haas, and then began some rant about how this would cost the team money, and then came for me personally with some homophobic slurs I don’t feel like repeating.” 

“I’m sorry man. If there’s anything we can do,” Lewis offers. Kevin nods gratefully. 

“I’ll let you know.” You can feel your nose prickle with tears at how ready they are to help one another. The fact that Kevin referred to the four of you as his family isn’t lost on you, and it fills you with so much love and gratitude that despite everything, you have found a home in these three men. 

I can't believe it's almost over, I have been working on this fic since October. There's an epilogue left which will come next week

Again, biggest thank you to @curiousthyme for being my beta reader. I would be lost without you babe 😘

Please let me know your thoughts, your comments, tags, and likes mean the absolute world to me 💜

[lucy90712]

Baking- Pedri

"I want to make a cake" I announced just to Pedri who was sat next to me 

"Since when do you bake?" He questioned 

"I mean I don't but that doesn't mean I can't I've baked before" I said 

"What type of cake do you want to make?" He asked 

"I was thinking just a regular sponge cake but I was going to decorate it to make it all pretty" I said 

"Let's do it then" he said 

"Wait you want to help me" I said 

"Of course" he said pulling me up from the sofa 

First I looked up a recipe and made a list of the things we needed so we could go and get them. We had some of the ingredients at home already but we needed some sugar and stuff to decorate the cake. Once we arrived at the store I was reminded why I always go without Pedri and that's because he's a nightmare, he wanted to go down every aisle and I had to remind him numerous times that he can't eat half the things in the store but eventually we made it to the baking aisle. The amount of different stuff in the aisle was overwhelming there was so many types of icing and they all came in every colour imaginable. While I was trying to take it all in and decide what would look good Pedri had made the decision for me and picked out a pale purple and blue icing. He then found some piping bags and nozzles which is definitely out of our skill range but it should be fun and at this point baking this cake is all about fun as it's definitely not going to taste good. 

When we eventually had everything we needed Pedri took the basket from me and he paid which I tried to tell him not to do but there was no convincing him. When we made it back home he dropped everything off in the kitchen so we could get started but before he let me do anything he ran off upstairs which should take me by surprise but it just doesn't anymore. It wasn't long before he came back down holding two aprons which had clearly never been used as they must've been gag gifts probably from Fer. When he unfolded them all I could do was laugh one of them said warning hot stuff and the other had a picture of a man's abs on them. They were so cheesy but I kind of loved them, after some thinking Pedri gave me the hot stuff one which he said was because that's what I am but I know deep down it's because he wanted me to stare at him and I happily will oblige. 

After he tied the apron for me we got out everything we needed and I pulled the recipe back up to find out how much we needed of each ingredient. I measured out the butter and sugar first then added the eggs before I mixed that together as that's what the recipe told me to do. As I was mixing I asked Pedri to measure out the flour to save some time and because he was just stood staring at me as I did everything. Stupidly I trusted him but I really shouldn't have he was doing well until a whole load of flour came out at once sending the amount way over what we needed and not an amount we could get away with just adding it was nearly double. He had to take some out and to start with he used a spoon but he picked the smallest spoon we have so of course he got bored and began to use his hands which thankfully he washed first. In hindsight I should've taken over before we got to this point but I didn't so instead I just watched as the countertops became covered in flour as well as Pedri. 

It took just seconds for the entire kitchen including half the floor to be covered in flour. Pedri was covered too it was all over his apron, in his hair and on his face. I was so glad I had my phone, which was also dusted with flour, to take pictures of this moment. Pedri's parents and brother told me that he's not always the best in the kitchen although for as long as we've been together he's been fine but now I see what they mean. He graciously let me take some pictures of him so I can remember this moment and mock him for it for the foreseeable future although he was frowning in every single one I got. Once I was done laughing I started to feel a bit bad for him as he just wanted to help me bake and spend time with me and I'm just laughing at him. 

Just as I was about to start dusting some of the flour off Pedri's look changed and instead of a pout he suddenly had a smirk on his face which is never a good thing. Next thing I knew he put his hands in the flour and started to run towards me. I ran away not wanting to meet the same dusty fate but Pedri is a faster runner than I am and he has better stamina than me so it wasn't long before I gave up and he caught me. He pulled me straight into a hug and then put his hands on my face so I too was looking a bit like a snowman. Once he let me go he pressed a quick kiss to my nose before also pressing one to my lips which made this whole situation a lot better. As I turned to head back to the kitchen I felt Pedri put his hands on my ass which I definitely should've seen coming as he can be such a child at times. We have a mirror by the front door so I went to look at what he'd done and there was two handprints right there which really stood out as I had black leggings on. 

Pedri eventually made his way to join me in the kitchen and we finally added the flour and finished the mixture so it could go in the oven. Then we were faced with the daunting task of cleaning the mess that had only seemed to spread. First we washed up all of the utensils and the bowls we used as that was less daunting. Once that was done we had no choice but to face the explosion of flour that covered the kitchen. Pedri put some music on and grabbed the cleaning supplies; if I was mean I would make him clean it all himself but I'm not so I started mopping the floor while he cleaned the counter. 

"You don't have to help this is my mess I can clean it" he said 

"We're a team so we work together plus I suggested we make a cake so this is partly my fault" I said 

"This is why you're the best girlfriend" he said kissing my cheek quickly 

As soon as the kitchen was clean the timer went off and the cake was done and I can't lie it looked really good. Pedri wanted to decorate it straight away but I made him wait for the cake to cool first as otherwise the icing would just melt into a big mess. He's usually quite impatient but today he was happy to wait and just hold onto me as we continued to listen to music while waiting for the cake to cool down. Most people don't get to see the softer side of Pedri as they only see him when he's highly focused on the pitch or messing around in training but he really is a softie. He loves to just cuddle like this or on the sofa under the fluffiest blanket we have in the house and he's more affectionate than you would think he always likes to be close to me or touching me in some way whenever we aren't in public and I love that it's like I get to have this part of him all to myself. 

His patience and calmness didn't last too much longer though as the excitement go too much for him and he grabbed the icing and the piping bags and started to get them ready after I told him what to do. He gave me the purple icing while he had the blue so I showed him a simple design and we worked together to create a great pattern around the outside. We really did a good job if I do say so myself especially for our first attempt. Pedri was so pleased with what we made that he took a picture and sent it to his parents to get their approval which was really sweet. He was so happy when his mum text back saying that it looked lovely but a seconds after I got a text from her asking how much chaos he had caused which made me laugh while Pedri started putting on his pouty face again so I kissed his lips and sneakily put some icing on his nose before running away so that he couldn't get be back.

[jeonbunnie]

promises

pairing: reader x namjoon

summary: marriage life with namjoon hasn’t been the same lately. he’s been cold and distant, always whispering on the phone. and you can’t help but notice…

genre: angst, drama, choose your own adventure,

content/warnings: established relationship; married!au; idol!namjoon; cheating/infidelity; implied sex; eventual smut; explicit sex

soundtrack: lemonade by beyoncé

a/n: this used to be a series but I decided to rework it into a oneshot. The plot is mostly the same, however now the reader gets to choose the big decision at the end (kind of like a choose your own adventure). This is one of the endings, if you want to read from the beginning, start here.

word count: 871

Choose Him

When Namjoon wakes up the next morning–you’re not by his side.

It was just a little after dawn. The sun finally peaked its head out from around the clouds, stretching across your home in vanilla sunlight.

At first, Namjoon is too tired to comprehend what it means to not feel your warmth pressed up against him. But as soon as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, he realized he was waking from a dream into a nightmare.

Namjoon was so overwhelmed with grief for the loss of his marriage, for the loss of you, he didn't hear the click of the front door opening, or see the look on your face when you finally, finally came home.

You opened the bedroom door to find Namjoon sitting with his face buried in his hands. You went to him, sat by his side, and gingerly pulled his hands away from his face. “Namjoon...what’s wrong?”

He looks up into your face, and there’s shock, confusion, and tears in his brown eyes. There’s a look of disconnect as he takes in the sight of you, the suitcases standing by the door.

“You left.” He says.

You shake your head.

The tears in his eyes spilled down his cheeks. “You did. You left, and all your stuff was gone. You were gone.”

“Not like that.” You said. You did leave, but not in the way he might have thought. You went to think. To find peace and quiet so you could listen to your heart.

You made your decision. You decided to love him anyway, and keep loving him, and keep working at your marriage. Even though it failed, you would keep trying. Because love didn’t quit. It wasn’t pride, or anger, or hurt. It didn’t hold grudges or keep resentments. It was patient, and kind, and forgiving. Healing.

And that was what you wanted, right? To heal.

“I’m sorry, I should have approached this better.” You said. “I figured you’d still be sleeping by the time I got back. I just needed to be on my own for a bit. Clear my head, think.”

Alone, you had more clarity about everything. Though knowing Namjoon’s truth didn’t make anything any easier. It did help you find your truth.

Namjoon kissed the back of your hand and held on tight. His palms were wet, but you didn’t let go. He looked at you, and something softened in his eyes. “I thought–” he said, voice cracking. “I thought…”

“Me too.”

“You said you’d never come back.”

“I know. That was a long time ago...I promised you that I would leave. But that’s not how promises work anyway. And I don’t want a relationship based on promises. Those are just thoughts. And words. And they don’t mean anything unless your actions match up.”

“We said we’d be honest with each other so,” you took a deep breath, holding it for a minute before saying what you could only admit to yourself in private.

“I know I could start over. Find someone else. There are other men... but when I think about it, when I think about it, I’ve only ever wanted you. I don’t want to start over with someone new. And kiss strangers. And hope to fall in love again. I want you. I still love you.”

“I love you, too,” Namjoon said. Softly. Without hesitation.

“But things have to change. We just stopped talking. You were my best friend, but we were living like strangers because we didn’t communicate with each other–I can’t do that again. You can’t just keep all your feelings bottled up inside. You need to talk to me. I don’t know if I can be everything that you need me to be, but you have to give me a chance. Don’t shut me out.”

“Can you do that for me?” You finished. You looked at his face and honestly stared back at you.

“I can. I can do anything for you.” Namjoon whipped at his wet face. “If I could take it all back I would…I’m far from perfect, and I’ve done things that hurt you, things I’ll live to regret for the rest of my life. But I want to do better. Be better. And I know that I’m a better man when I’m with you… And I want to be by your side. Always. I can’t pretend it never happened. Like everything’s fine and that it’ll all be okay. I don’t know that. But I want it to be. I want to try...”

Now you were tearing up. You squeezed his hand. “So let’s try.”

“But Namjoon, I swear, if you try this shit again—”

“I won’t. I can’t. After everything...baby, all I see is you. I don’t want anyone else.”

Namjoon smiled at you, a real smile, eyes turning into crescent moons.

And you smiled back.

He leans forward then, till your forehead to forehead, nose to nose, and you both close your eyes, savoring the moment. That feeling came back. The one from the night before. Overwhelming, unfiltered love. And at that moment, you know.

You know you can move on. Fall in love again, rebuild your trust.

And you’ll do it together.

[mtfisakink]

My First Time Breastfeeding My Daughter

Link to the original article is here

Here's my reaction, repurposed from one of my old reddit comments:

The article kicks things off with a real banger:

Imagine the most electric thing a partner has ever done to you, then multiply it by 10. I could feel my brain rewiring, creating pathways that would permanently connect me to my child. (And yeah, I kind of got off on it. Don't judge.)

It always stuck out to me that this.... individual.... IMMEDIATELY thought to compare the experience to "the most electric thing a partner has ever done to you". It was so obvious in the sexual connotations that my jaw was on the ground. Of course two seconds later, the individual admits that they did in fact "get off" to the experience, so there's that. When you start to pay attention, you see that they aren't even trying to hide the fetishistic nature of this behavior even a little bit.

But that's not all! A bit further along in the article:

"Lactating changed how I saw my body. Having breasts was great, but using them to feed another human being? That was magic. Specifically, it was mom magic. I might have been my daughter's sperm donor*, but breastfeeding was how I knew I was going to be a mom.* It validated my womanhood as much as any surgery ever could."

As we all know, the need for that sweet, sweet validations is pretty much never-ending. Breastfeeding is very explicitly NOT a way to nurture a child in this individual's mind, it is a way to "validate" their "womanhood", You'll note that magically, we no longer need to concern ourselves with the endless whataboutisms that they usually throw our way, about the women who don't menstruate, or don't have a uterus, or don't have breasts, or haven't had children, etc. etc. All of a sudden, our biological capabilities can in fact be used to define and validate womanhood, but only when it suits the needs of these individuals. The jokes are in fact writing themselves.

(An aside: note this person's incessant need to alienate themselves from physical reality, in spite of the jabbering on about breastfeeding?? Referring to oneself as a "sperm donor" as opposed to father or dad just comes across as so dehumanizing to me. They really do see their bodies and the whole business of creating another human just like a puzzle where they can just rearrange all the pieces any which way they like.)

How did this disaster end, you may ask? After a series of unfortunate events:

A few weeks later, we both gave up on breastfeeding and switched to formula completely.

But never fear, the individual is still "gushing" about breastfeeding because of the gender feels and validation it provided. Literally at no point did this individual concern themselves with the child here. There was a complete lack of grief or concern over needing to abandon breastfeeding for formula (this is not me judging anyone who uses formula - I'm merely pointing out that in all of my observations of new moms - I don't have any children myself - feeding their children is an arena fraught with anxiety, guilt, and overwhelming love for the child that permeates almost all that these women do. A major decision like stopping breastfeeding does not typically get waved away this casually).

In short, complete and utter narcissism, all the way down. This stuff is hurting innocent children and babies and it can't go on any longer, full stop.

[tending-the-hearth]

why "the outsiders" is one of the best shows i've ever seen

i loved every second of this show, so here's all my favorite parts!!

ALSO Trevor Wayne (u/s Ponyboy) was on for my show, and it was his Broadway debut, so that mixed with this only being their fourth official show after debuting on Broadway this past Thursday (they've been in previews for a few weeks) made for SUCH a good show atmosphere, the vibes were immaculate, and Trevor was a phenomenal Ponyboy.

Also, I got to stagedoor, and the cast was SO incredibly kind!!! I love stagedoors when the cast is just made up of the nicest group of people ever

(i'd love to discuss specific things from the show, so if you're curious, send me an ask!!)

***spoilers for the broadway show if anyone cares***

Act 1

the COSTUMES OHHH MY GOD

and the set is so cool???

the fight choreo is something i could talk about forever and ever

in general, the music has a very folk/country vibe to it, which fits SO well since it takes place in oklahoma!!

"grease got a hold" was so fun, i loved the idea that you become an official greaser after getting through your first fight with the socs

the show in general is such a good balance of quotes directly from the book and original lines!

i love that they made Dally another big brother figure to Ponyboy, because it just adds so much to the tension between Darry and Ponyboy

additionally, making Dally the leader of the gang while Darry's trying to stay away from that world... such a good change

Johnny and Pony are the best friends ever omg

Ace my beloved 😭😭 i'm usually hesitant about new characters being added but i love her so much

i was afraid they'd make her like an Anybodys copy, but she was SUCH a good fit within the group, and her relationships and interactions with them all felt so natural

btw she and Steve are siblings that is my hc they're brother and sister your honor!!!

and Two-Bit!!! Beloved!!! Daryl Tofa you are THE Two-Bit ever!!!

Two-Bit and Ace are best friends btw

"Great Expectations" had the stage completely blacked out except for spotlights on each of the outsiders gang when i tell you i was emotional

MY THEORY IS CONFIRMED OF THE CURTIS PARENTS DYING WHILE GETTING STUFF FOR DARRY'S BIRTHDAY I'M HAPPY BUT IN PAIN

Having Johnny present for the scene when Darry slaps Ponyboy is such a smart decision, especially since he's the one who grabs Ponyboy and gets them out of the house

Johnny and Pony duet 😭😭 they're platonic soulmates fr

Having the silhouettes of Soda and Darry during Johnny and Pony's duet, and Darry just sitting so defeated on the floor hurt me ngl

There were effects when Ponyboy was being drowned where it was like we were underwater as well, and everyone else was just moving silently. SO well done

the scene where Johnny stabs Bob was insane- there were blackouts, and people were moving in slow motion, and it was so perfectly overwhelming

God, the entire ending sequence was incredibly with the set pieces!! and in general, the effects were so good

also Dally is such an overprotective brother to BOTH Johnny and Pony

Act 2

The harmonies in this show. This is such a strong ensemble cast, and they're so powerful during the group numbers

"Death's at my Door" made me fucking sob????? Johnny and Pony being each other's reason to live??? Them staying alive just to make sure the other is safe???

Have I mentioned how much I love that Dally sees Pony and Johnny as his little brothers?? Because I love it so so much

Darry and Dally's arguments, and Dally making good points on why he's close with Ponyboy hurt SO much because Darry's trying his best

Ohhhh Darry is speaking to my soul he really is the parentified older sibling ever

But also "Throwing in the Towel" being similar to "Death's at my Door", with Sodapop begging Darry not to give up, because he loves him, and recognizes what he does for them??? And Ponyboy joining in at the end from the church??

Dally immediately hugging Ponyboy and Johnny when they reunite at the church 😭

"Soda's Letter" made me cry violently but that's nothing new

"Hoods turned Heroes" was actually so cute, the greasers were so excited and proud of Pony and Johnny

but the tonal shift at the end when Dally carried Johnny in all bandaged up??

a little miffed we didn't see the Curtis brothers reuniting ngl, but that's the only thing i wish they added in

THE FUCKING RUMBLE WAS SO GOOD HOLY SHIT

Darry asking Ponyboy if he can fight for him 😭😭😭 he loves his brother so much

THE CHOREO AND THE RAIN ON STAGE OH MY GOD

And Ponyboy fights until Johnny comes on stage and stands in front of him, and everything just freezes 😭

I do love how all the greasers were present for JOhnny's death, because it just solidifies how they're a family

Joshua Boone as Dally destroyed me. He perfectly showed how Johnny was Dally's entire world

and GOD them changing Dally's death to suicide by straight up stepping onto the train tracks and getting hit by a train was...

Just how empty and lost Ponyboy was after everyone died, and how desperate Soda and Darry were to get him to at least eat something, they portrayed that grief and trauma so well

"Stay Gold" 😭😭😭😭😭

Literally could not stop sobbing during that song, everyone around me was crying

There was such a perfect balance between Pony's narration and the show itself, and there were moments where he broke the fourth wall, mainly by looking at Soda and Johnny during their letters, and it just made for such an emotional impact

Darry asking to read Pony's story 😭😭 showing his support, and Pony being absolutely shocked but so happy 😭😭

also when Darry and Pony tell each other they love each other 😭😭 sobbing violently i love familial reconciliation

I was just an emotional wreck the entire finale, it was so beautiful

and the implication that instead of writing an essay, Ponyboy wrote "The Outsiders" in-universe 😭😭

[neewtmas]

ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴀᴜɴᴛɪɴɢ ᴏꜰ ᴀʙʙᴇʏ ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇ // ᴘᴀʀᴛ ɪ

pairing: george karim x fem!reader

wordcount: 1.1k

summary: a case that takes longer than expected, an unrequited crush, and the hardest decision you ever had to make

a/n: this is the first part of a multiple part series! we've got fluff, a little angst (will get worse as the chapters go on), a little locklyle on the side, mutual pining and all the good stuff! Also a happy end, that much I can promise :)

masterlist part II

taglist: @maraschinomerry @sstrawberriel  @poisonquinzell @holymotherfxrkingshirtballs @the-high-lady-of-3am-crackposts @shampoocovers99 (if you wanna be added or removed, just tell me)

The house was quiet except for the chirping birds in the bushes right outside 35 Portland Row. It was unusual for you to be up this early, and even more unusual for everyone else to still be sleeping. But this morning, after forgetting to put down the blinds the evening prior, you got woken up by the sun and decided that this was a perfect opportunity to do something nice for your friends.

After you quietly put on some clothes and sneaked down the staircase, your first objective was getting fresh pastries from Arif's just down the street. The morning air was still the slightest bit chilly as you walked down the sidewalk, empty bag in hand. A tiny bell sounded as you opened the door to Arif's small bakery, and the delicious smell of freshly baked goods was almost overwhelming. You chatted briefly with the girl behind the counter, while she put your order of pastries and doughnuts into the bag you brought.

"Oh before I forget it, we got the Honey Pistachio Cupcakes back in the rotation," the blonde girl said, pointing over to the display. "I remember you asked for them a while back." You smiled at her. "That's fantastic! I'll get one of them, please."

She packed up the muffin and moved over to the register. "Are they your favourite?" Your cheeks grew warm and you bit your lip. "Something of the sort, yeah." The girl gave you a knowing smile as she handed the bag over the counter.

When you were back in Portland Row, you first opened the kitchen window to let in some of the fresh morning air and then started to set the table. Small particles of dust danced in the sunlight that came through the open window as you moved through the kitchen quietly.

Lockwood was the first to wake up and when he sauntered into the kitchen, you had just put down the last piece of cutlery. He looked around. "Wow, (name)! What's the occasion?" You shrugged. "Nothing particular. I just woke up early today." "Doesn't matter, that looks so good. I'm gonna wake up the other two." He left the kitchen and you heard him move up the stairs, much more energetically than he had moved down just a few minutes ago.

You took the kettle off the stove and poured four cups of tea. Each one of your friends liked their tea a little differently, but by now you knew exactly what to do. Just as you sat down the last cup over the respective plate, Lockwood came back into the kitchen, followed by Lucy and George. Lockwood seemed to burst with energy, while the other two were still a little sleepy. "That looks amazing," Lucy said, as she took a sip from her tea. George said nothing, and he looked like he was about to fall asleep again. Ever since the incident with the mirror, he had been more tired than usual, often sleeping in until lunch. His curls were a mess, and you had the urge to run your hands through them. You loved it when he looked like that.

You brought over the pastries you bought and sat them down in the middle of the table. "Here you go. They should be warm still." Lockwood and Lucy immediately grabbed a doughnut each, and you pulled out the cupcake the girl had packed up separately. You sat it down on George's plate and his head whipped up. "No way! Where did you get that?" His eyes sparkled with excitement and he smiled at you in a way that made your heart flutter in your chest. "I just saw that they had it back on display again and thought you might like one," you said bashfully. "Of course I do! You're the best, (name)." You lowered your gaze to your plate so that he wouldn't see the way you were blushing.

You spent the rest of the meal in comfortable silence, the only sounds were those of knives on plates and cups getting sat down. "What's the plan for today?" Lucy asked, pushing her chair away from the table and leaning back. "I need to get some of our rapiers checked" Lockwood replied, glancing at his watch. "But that has time until the afternoon."

"I saw a sign when I walked to Arif's earlier. Some old rich lady died and they are selling her book collection. Do you maybe wanna go, George?" you asked, trying to sound casual while wringing your hands together under the table nervously. It was always nerve-wracking to ask George to spend time alone. You had not yet the courage to ask him out on an actual date, so you just hoped he could pick up the hints.

He smiled apologetically. "That sounds great (name), but I have to go to the archives this afternoon. Why don't you go with Lucy?"

You could feel yourself deflate slightly. Another rejection. Either he truly didn't understand what your intentions were, or he wanted to let you down gently. The latter was more likely, seeing how smart he was he had surely figured you out by now. "Sure. Maybe I will." You forced a smile. No need to let him know how you were feeling.

When the kitchen was clean again, you and Lucy made your way downstairs for a training session with Joe and Esmeralda. You started with some basic warm-up moves. "Do you still wanna go to the book sale later?" Lucy asked as she circled Esmeralda, rapier held high, ready to lunge forward. "If you want to. But if I'm honest, I think I'm not that interested anymore" you said, mirroring her movements on Joe. Lucy lowered her rapier and turned to you. "You know, I'm sure he'd love to go there with you. But he talked about needing to go to the archives for days now." You smiled tightly and watched Joe swing back and forth from the force of your hit, the anchoring in the ceiling creaking. "It's fine. No big deal."

This afternoon, you sat in the library, when the telephone in the hall rang. Before you could get up, someone else picked up. When you stepped out into the hallway, Lockwood, still in his coat, was holding the phone. He turned around, and you could tell from his expression that whoever was on the phone had great news.

"Yes, of course. We will be there tomorrow night."

Lockwood put down the phone, and he looked like he could barely contain his excitement.

"We have a new case. And it sounds like a good one."

thank you for reading, feedback is appreciated :)

Part II

[pansy-picnics]

Okay but how are the grandparents with the UKD kids? I imagine it’s difficult, especially at first since none of them actually raised newborns/infants themselves?

SUPER LATE ANSWER BUT I’VE ACTUALLY BEEN ASKED SOMETHING ALONG THESE LINES ON INSTA A WHILE AGO. it’s DEFINITELY a learning curve…for the most part they know they can step back and they trust the kids to handle things themselves, but we do know from canon that they can all be a Little overbearing at times…….

i think captain, much like cass turns out to be surprisingly gentle and knows exactly how to handle them just by instinct alone. he was ECSTATIC to hear about rapunzel’s pregnancy for the first time just because, despite not Completely understanding his daughters relationship situation, he DID know that they’d be considered cass’ kids too (although frankly, CASS herself was still kinda coming to terms with this, so his excitement was a little overwhelming for her at first, but she too came around).

he definitely slips up from time to time but for the most part he eases into the role perfectly. now that he’s retired, he’s basically the chillest of all of them tbh. Like i think he got really into fishing so he takes the kids on boat trips and stuff. Normal grandpa things.

Also when cass decided to take in ilmari literally the first thing she thought of was her dad. She stopped to tell him before she even made it back to see rapunzel and eugene….Just to tell him what happened. He apologized but inevitably told her she did the right thing. Lots of tears that night.

frederic and arianna are the most grounded ones, but also the most paranoid. they’re very emotional about having little ones in the house again, especially since they never got to have rapunzel around at that age….it leads them to be VERY comically affectionate LOL. in the days after the twins were first born, 9 times out of 10 if they weren’t with any of their parents they were with fred or ari. they are totally the ones who freak out every time the baby sneezes or something, which is something arianna is constantly teasing frederic about as if she isn’t a Massive Fucking Hypocrite and is just a LITTLE better at holding herself together.

i like to imagine arianna and willow were identical twins, so arianna has an especially close connection to alina and ryder….she worries a lot about them growing distant or resentful of one another like her and willow did. as alina grows up, she reminds her the most of herself…<:]

They also love ilmari so so much and OBVIOUSLY THAT’S A GIVEN but i specifically think ilmari would be obsessed with fred’s stupid fucking egg collection. Autism to autism communication

Edmund….edmund is the deranged one (Probably could’ve figured that one out though). He’s the grandparent who you only see for special occasions and he always brings the most insane gifts that your parents HATE. Somehow they’re even worse than varian’s gifts and he’s practically giving the kids literal explosives. /J Lowkey i think edmund has forgotten how children work a little bit and he scares the shit out of ukd sometimes just by making some Incredibly silly decisions BUT he means incredibly well and the twins LOVE him. Ilmari is a little intimidated by him admittedly, at first just because he’s big and scary, and later when they’re older, just because of how loud and boisterous he is…..But they appreciate him too and he’s very supportive.

as silly as he can be he does know when he needs to quiet down and be gentle and ilmari really likes learning from him and the other brotherhood members about the dark kingdom and their history. ryder especially grows rlly close with him when he’s older since he spends about a year in the dark kingdom and eventually takes over the throne… :3

[storiesforallfandoms]

can't handle this right now ~ bo burnham

word count: 1721

request?: no

description: after five years working behind the scenes, he's overwhelmed with his first show back and she helps to calm him down

pairing: bo burnham x female!reader

warnings: swearing, panic attacks

masterlist (one, two, three)

Despite his struggles during his second comedy tour, Bo loved performing live. When he first went on tour, he loved the thrill of performing and the audience reactions to the bits he worked so hard on. The bits were another thing he loved about performing on stage; he loved coming up with the bits for his shows. Sometimes the writing was almost better than the performing.

When Bo started experiencing panic attacks before, during, and after his shows, it was a no brainer for him what to do: he had to give up performing live. It was the best decision for his mental health. He had to put that first over his career. It was a bittersweet decision to make, but it was a necessary one.

It wasn't like he was giving up all together. He continued to work behind the scenes - directing, writing, creating in other ways. He acted a few times, too. In a movie that was nominated for an Oscar, even. He was still doing well for himself without the live performing. Although, he'd be lying if he said he didn't miss being on stage.

So, during his time off stage, he started working on dealing with his panic attacks. He found the resources, got professional help, even tried to ease himself back into live performing by performing for a very small audience. With a supportive team on his side, especially his long time girlfriend (Y/N), he felt like he was ready to return to what he loved the most.

At least, he thought he was. But then the night of his return performance came.

He had saw the crowd when his van arrived at the arena. They were lined up going down the block, many of them decked out in merch from his previous tours or their own homemade stuff. He could hear them when the arena doors opened and the place began to fill. Hundreds of voices, hundreds of bodies, all filing in to see him.

It was a mistake to peak out at the audience. Most people were still arriving or were in line at the merch kiosk, but there was still enough people in their seats to make Bo's chest tighten and his palms start to sweat. Hundreds of eyes looking at him, boring into him, expecting him to entertain them.

It was getting hard to breathe on top of the tight chest and sweaty palms, and his vision was starting to flatten. All well known signs of something he thought he'd never have to go through again. And of course it had to happen right before his comeback show.

"Bo?"

He jumped at the sound of someone saying his name. He turned to see (Y/N) stood there, looking at him in concern. He knew he must've looked like he was freaking out. He was never good at hiding his panic attacks, especially from her.

(Y/N) reached a hand out to him, but didn't touch him. She knew that if he was touched during a panic attack without wanting to be touched it would make the attack worse.

"Come on," she said. "Let's get some fresh air."

Bo gladly took (Y/N)'s hand and allowed her to lead him away from the stage. The sounds of hundreds of voices began to fade away the further out they got. She led him to the back entrance where he had come in some time ago. The cool air and the silence besides the sounds of distant vehicles engulfed him right away. He felt his chest untightening slowly, opening up his lungs so he could gasp in much needed breaths.

He leaned against the brick wall of the arena, lifting his head to the moonlit sky.

"I can't do this," he said, his voice shaking. "I thought I was ready, but I'm not. I can't go out on that stage in front of all of those people."

Her hand was still in his, running her thumb along his knuckles in a soothing manner. "It's okay. If you don't think you can do it, then you don't have to."

"I can't back out of this now. I can't let all those people down."

"I'm sure they'd understand if you said the show had to be cancelled because of your mental health. Alternatively, we could tell them you got a very serious injury and had to be rushed to the hospital. I can push you down the stairs so it's not a lie if you want."

Bo laughed, which released the last of the tension in his chest. His vision was returning to normal, so when he looked over at (Y/N) he could actually see her smile, her face lit with a mixture of white moonlight and yellow arena lights. Her smile and the feeling of her hand in his helped to ground him completely.

"I thought I could do this," he said, sadness engulfing him suddenly. "I worked so hard to fix myself. Five years I was away. Five fucking years, and this is still happening."

"For one, you don't need to be fixed. That would mean you're broken, and having a mental illness does not mean broken," she started. "And two, I know you've worked hard to try and help yourself, but the truth is there's no way to completely rid yourself of these panic attacks. It's something you'll have to live with for the rest of your life. All you can do is work on the ways you deal with these things."

Bo squeezed her hand before pulling her into an embrace. She placed her head on his chest and he rested his chin on the top of her head. She often joked about being intimidated by his height, but Bo loved how much shorter she was than him. He loved having these moments where he could wrap his arms around here, completely engulf himself around her, and just hold her to him. He loved feeling her head against his chest, feeling her heart beating against her chest somewhere around the lower stomach area, her body warmth between his arms.

He loved her. That was the long and the short of it. Bo loved (Y/N) more than anything in the world. He didn't know where he would be at this point in his life without her constant support of him.

"What if I go out on stage and have another panic attack?" he asked, his voice so quiet he was sure it had drifted off into the night.

"If that happens, then you look over to the sides of the stage, and you'll see me," she responded, lifting her head from his chest so he could hear her more clearly. "And we'll do some of those breathing exercises that you learned about. Together."

Bo pressed a kiss to the top of her head, taking in the familiar scent of her shampoo as he pressed his nose against her hair.

"You're way too good to me," he said. "I'm such an asshole, there's no way I deserve someone as kind and loving as you."

(Y/N) giggled and kissed his cheek. "That's not true. You're only sort of an asshole, and even though you are that doesn't mean you don't deserve love and support."

"I guess I just need a reminder of that sometimes."

"Well, I'll remind you as often as you want."

Bo was about to lean down to kiss her lips when the door swung open suddenly. Bo's manager stuck his head out and saw the couple stood together.

"There you are!" he said. "You're on in five!"

The door swung shut again and the feeling of dread returned.

(Y/N) gave him a squeeze, causing him to look down at her. "You're going to do great. I believe in you."

He smiled and kissed her before the two of them decided they better get back inside.

He could hear the audience again as they approached. His breathing became heavier again, but the feeling of (Y/N)'s hand in his kept him more grounded this time around. He didn't want to ever let her go. If he could, he would've dragged her on stage with him just so he could hold her hand the entire performance.

She gave him another kiss and whispered, "You're gonna be great" in his ear before letting him go. Bo swallowed the fear that was building up inside of him as he house lights went down and the audience cheered in excitement. He tried to focus on that - the excitement and happiness for his return - over his own terror.

When the pre-show video ended, Bo took the stage to an uproar of applause. Before he even started any of his bits, the audience was to their feet and applauding him. He looked over at (Y/N) in the wings, who was smiling brightly at him and gave him a thumbs up. He smiled back at her and finally got the crowd to quiet down so he could start the show.

Any ounce of fear or panic he was feeling had suddenly melted away.

The show went amazing and by the end of it Bo felt like he was floating on top of the world. He took a bow for the second standing ovation of the night before walking off stage where his crew was waiting to celebrate his amazing comeback. The cheering from the stage was mixed with the cheering of his manager and the backstage crew, but he managed to tune it all out when his eyes landed on (Y/N).

He took her into his arms and kissed her passionately, ignoring the fact that there were so many other people around them. She giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck, getting onto the tips of her toes so that she could reach him.

"I told you it would be okay," she said.

"You did," he agreed. "And you were right. You're always right."

(Y/N) playfully gasped. "Someone get that in writing!"

Bo laughed and lifted (Y/N) off her feet. She exclaimed in surprise and giggled as Bo started to carry her away. Over his shoulder he called, "I'm taking this one back to my hotel room! No one come looking for us for the next 12ish hours please!"

[plubos]

I’ve just been using Pluto as my courier’s name as like a placeholder. Anyway on to more bits between them and yes man.

I projected my autism onto the courier and got Pluto.

So before getting shot by Benny I like to think that Pluto took on the job of courier cause it was a simple delivery job taking stuff from point a to b. It doesn’t involve talking much either! So what was supposed to be an easy to understand gig for someone who has a difficult time with regular jobs and social interaction.

I also like to think they weren’t selectively mute before getting shot but just was so bad at social interaction that they didn’t have many people to talk to. But I’m sure if they did find someone to talk to they yapped as much as they could before continuing with a delivery.

Post-Benny though, I have it so the damage they gained actually made it difficult for them to formulate sentences properly and so talking took a lot of effort and was exhausting at first. So for most of the storyline they remained mute and only spoke with one word responses.

After getting Boone at Novac to join them on the revenge quest they began practicing how to do small signals with Boone as another way of communication. ED-E was the next companion and Pluto spent their alone time with ED-E practicing sentences and responses. Mostly cause they get embarrassed when trying to talk to others so practicing with someone who doesn’t have any opinions on their speech was a welcome addition.

When they got to the strip they had already accumulated a fair bit of caps and payed for fake passports in freeside. But once in the strip it was already a bit overwhelming with all the lights and sounds.

Making their way to the tops casino was easy with help from Boone. The only out of the ordinary decision Pluto made when confronting Benny was using the black widow perk and making short but effective charms to lure Benny away. After the whole sleeping together and shooting him after bit there was a fair bit of regret in the choice as instead of feeling satisfied with Benny being dead it just felt kinda hollow.

But after a bit of snooping and wearing Benny’s suit, they come across the guy to answer all their problems.

See interacting with robots is so much easier than humans. And that’s cause they aren’t mean or judgmental, well at least all the ones Pluto’s met.

Talking came easy after all the practice with ED-E with a handful of a few mistakes hear and there.

Yes man at the time being forced to be very very nice and unable to say no didn’t go unnoticed but with the couriers help they used some loopholes to help yes man give honest answers.

Having someone wanting his honest opinion was a welcome change for yes man and having a friend that explained stuff in the simplest way possible was always welcome for Pluto.

And so a close friendship began and a plan to take over the Mojave for the better was set in motion.

Of course with the little bit of tech knowledge the courier had they helped Yes man with more then an assertive upgrade and was able to make him his own independent person.

I’ll go into more details on it some other time but for now I think these are enough thoughts. :3

[sapphire-heart-tippy]

Hey, everyone. Asks are being turned off as of right now because I am overwhelmed. I also want to talk about something regarding that. I'm not angry, I have no hard feelings towards anyone, and this needs to be addressed:

"Too long, didn't read" at the bottom:

I have 433 asks in my inbox. It is very difficult for me to get the energy to answer every single one of them. I am going to delete them all (unless I find something I really do not want to delete) and clean my inbox out. Don't get me wrong, I do have fun with these a lot. That being said, being spammed with questions, especially the same ones I have answered multiple times, is not fun for me.

The Jonny Headverse stuff is fun, and I can have negative feelings about it. I have been thinking about this for a while now, but I never wanted to ruin anyone else's fun. I feel it is time to speak up about it anyway.

Please give me a little space. I do not dislike you, I am not angry, I am overwhelmed and a bit disheartened. I very much appreciate the fan art, the writings, the jokes, and everything in between. However, every time I do an event that is only supposed to be for Vanilla, TipVans, Bel, or an f/o takeover of some sort, it is always somehow about Jonathan and the other heads.

It, admittedly, hurt my feelings when it was mine and Vanilla's anniversary and I got asks that were mostly about the heads. I even had a few that were, "Okay but what about Jonathan and Erina's anniversary?" (which we actually did earlier in the year)

It all started with a visual gag I made in a mini comic about my s/i raiding the fridge. I got the idea from Futurama yes, but mostly this one DIY Halloween decoration where you print out a picture of a face, put it in a pickle jar filled with oil and put it in the fridge. Which is why he was next to the pickles in that drawing. I have no qualms about other artists and writers doing the Jonathan head thing. If somebody decides to make that their shtick, then that is wonderful. Yes, Jonathan's Head is an important character in my fanfic, but he is not the focal point.

My fanfic is all supposed to be from the viewpoint of Vanilla. My own s/i isn't even the main character, he is. It's not only about the romance between Vanilla and Tippy, but it tells a story about what would happen if two complete opposites of people (Vanilla and Polnareff) got a second chance. Polnareff remembers everything, but Vanilla remembers nothing. The tension, difficult decisions, the "what would you do in this situation?" feelings, and giving a backstory to a throwaway mini boss type villain.

I digress. To add on to what I said previously, it is discouraging to draw and write my heart out about something only to have it derailed by another subject. I have tried to take it all in stride, but my feelings are hurt. I would talk about Vanilla doing something, it gets derailed to Jonathan even when he wasn't even relevant to the conversation. I would say something about TipVans or Bel or Ramon or Emmanuel, it would get derailed so fast and I would get 20 asks about the heads doing the same thing my f/o or other characters are doing.

When I would do the f/o takeovers, not a single question I would receive was about the relationship Vanilla has with Tippy (although I could be wrong and don't remember. I only remember getting asks about taking care of the disembodied heads).

I don't want any of you to feel bad or think that I am mad at you. I am very overwhelmed and disheartened. I put a lot of passion into my art work and writing. I am very grateful for all of the kind words I receive and all of the wonderful encouragement I get on tags when my art gets reblogged every now and then.

There's this one drawing I have worked my best on and put my all into, which is a semi realism digital painting, I am very proud of (here). When I first uploaded it, I had somebody go, "Okay, now do semi realistic Jonathan's head." I can't just do a semi realism painting. It takes a lot of patience and energy.

I'm asking for a little bit of space, and a little bit of grace.

Like I have said before, I am in no way, shape, or form angry with anyone. Please, by all means, continue drawing, writing, animating, and talking about the Jonathan Head universe. I want you all to have fun and continue having fun. Do what makes you happy, create to your heart's content, please

I only ask 2 things: please, do not derail my other art works or writings anymore with Jonathan's Head stuff unless he is in them. And please do not bombard other artists/writers with asks, especially if they are uncomfortable and expressing their discomfort.

For now, asks are closed because I am overwhelmed with things and this (unfortunately) was the final straw.

Please don't think I will be angry with you if you decide to tag me in something Jonathan's Head related. I will still like it and share it and be happy for you and/or the person who created the work.

Once again, I am very grateful and thankful for all of the kind words and feedback I have gotten on my fanfic and drawings. I will let you all know when asks are turned back on as well. Then one day we can roleplay and stuff again💙

TL;DR: Overwhelmed with asks. Asks are turned off. Disheartened by my art and writing being derailed by Jonathan and the rest of the heads. Not mad, very supportive of your creativity. Wish you all the best 💙

[corvitine]

This ended up being a lot longer than I intended but here’s the backstory and stuff about my Tavflayer, Dahlia! @wisp-of-chaos tagging you for the infodump lol

Dahlia Ainsworth is my Tavflayer, a bard with the entertainer background. She was born and raised in Baldur’s Gate and was a Tiefling whose great grandfather is Mephistopheles. Her family is actually rather proud of their heritage, mostly because of their powerful magic that they inherited from Mephistopheles. Her family members are all mages of some kind, and most of them study or teach magic. However, Dahlia decided she’d rather be a bard, as she has a passion for music. She is good with magic and does like using it but decided she wanted to be a bard. Her parents didn’t approve and saw it as a waste of her talents as a mage and they had a bit of a falling out. Dahlia thought they were unsupportive and wanted to be able to choose what she wanted to do with her life. This led to them having little contact for a few years.

She made her living as a traveling bard/adventurer, singing songs and ballads of great heroes. She always dreamed of having a grand adventure, the kind bards would sing of for years to come. Dahlia got her wish when she ended up captured by mind flayer and infected and having to save Baldur’s Gate.

Dahlia isn’t quite sure how she became the leader of their group and at times was a little overwhelmed by having to be the one to make decisions for her and her new friends. But she never let it show, putting on a brave face even when she was scared or unsure. She’s an upbeat and optimistic person and did her best to keep everyone’s spirits up.

She ended up having a massive crush on her dream guardian; after all, “How could I not fall for my knight in shining armor?” The Emperor had appeared to her as a handsome Tiefling man and the two of them grew close. When she found out his true identity, she felt hurt. Not only because she felt he had been lying to her but because he seemingly didn’t trust her. Despite this, she still loved him, and was very happy when she found out that he felt the same and they became lovers.

Dahlia chose to become a mind flayer, not only to defeat the Netherbrain but because she came to realize it was what she wanted. She was a little afraid of losing herself but made the choice anyway, and came to love her new illithid self. She loves being a mind flayer and her relationship with the Emperor became even closer than before. She feels she understands him better than before. She also loves her new powers feels very cool as an illithid. She just wishes more people saw her as more than a brain-eating monster. Dahlia had a bit of a difficult time controlling her new powers (and her emotions) at first, but luckily had the Emperor to help her, who was incredibly patient and helpful to her.

After saving Baldur’s Gate, Dahlia started mending her relationship with her family. She has her parents, an older sister, younger brother, grandparents, an aunt, uncle, and cousin. They were a little unsure at first with her now being a mind flayer (and being in a relationship with one), but slowly accepted her and her new partner. They were happy to be back on speaking terms with her, and proud of her for saving Baldur’s Gate. The Emperor is cordial but rather awkward around her family though they do their best to accept him.

Dahlia joined the Harper’s after the reunion with her friend, and has been helping to rebuild. She also assists the Emperor with the Knights when she can. She and the Emperor live together.

Out of all of her friends, she is closest with Wyll and considers him to be her best friend. She is also very good friends with Blurg and Omeluum.

Personality-wise, she is what many call a ray of sunshine. Outgoing, bubbly, and friendly. She’s the type of person you can’t help but like. She does have her limits though. She’s protective of her friends and incredibly loyal. Some see her as naive and too kind and trusting, though. When she sets her mind to something she is very stubborn.

And yeah, that’s what I have right now? I’m sure there’s a lot more I could say about Dahlia because I love her a lot and she lives in my head rent free lol.

[kitthepurplepotato]

REPOST! Made some changes as the last version was labeled as m—ture even tho there is nothing in it. 🥲

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Part 2: The Lost Polaroid

New to the story? CLICK HERE FOR PART 1!

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Summary:

Katsuki and You managed to talk about your part mistakes and you are ready start everything over after avoiding each other for 5 years. You are excited (and stressed) about your upcoming first date and your childhood best friend/love refuses to leave your side for the night. You also find a long lost polaroid picture and go down the memory lane with your favorite blonde companion.

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Genre: Fluff!

Warnings: slightly suggestive, swear words thanks to Katsuki, and one cheeky joke.

16+ just for safety, minors DNI.

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The weather outside got more and more chilly as the time has passed, and not even your best friend’s cuddles can warm you up enough to not start shivering.

You two haven’t said a lot since Katsuki’s confession. You are both a bit overwhelmed by the sudden turns of events, and to be honest, you enjoy the silent solitude right now.

This is the first time in 5 years that your head is not full with harmful thoughts; It feels like everything just stopped for a second and there is nothing else in this world, just Katsuki and You cuddling on the cold stones, unbothered by the ruckus coming from the inside.

“We should head back. I’m not the only one who wanted to see you tonight. They all did.” Says the blond next to you, giving you a final snuggle and a kiss on your forehead.

Needless to say, you really don’t want to let this moment go. With a sigh you crawl out of Katsuki’s embrace and get moving towards the door but it doesn’t take more than 3 seconds for the blonde to be by your side, his tanned arm already resting around your shoulders.

You love how all your actions can be interpreted as friendly but deep inside there is so much more to every touch. You try to keep a straight face and not let the blonde know how hot your skin feels like under his touch. He doesn’t need to know that, his ego is already way too big.

It didn’t take you long to get comfortable with your old classmates; you are almost sure that Kirishima asked the group not to mention your budding romance until you two are ready to talk about it. You didn’t mind them knowing and they already did know anyway, but you honestly have no idea how your date will go tomorrow. You guys might be all over each other in the heat of the moment, but maybe after calming down, one of you will retreat. You’ve read enough romance to know that the most burning romance is the easiest to put out.

You are just about to get lost in your own thoughts again when you feel a hand touching your waist.

“Guys, we are gonna’ go now before this idiot gets all EMO on me again.” Says the blonde next to you. “I don’t think I’m ready to put eyeliner on and listen to My Chemical Romance today.”

You know you should be offended but you can’t help but laugh. You guys actually did that once. You were really into EMO when you were young and you once gave Bakugo an EMO makeover while listening to MCR in your dorm room.

Your best friend liked the look so much he decided to add some eyeliner to his hero look, and honestly, it was the best decision of his life.

After saying bye to everyone, you make your way to Katsuki’s flat to get his stuff. His place is huge but free of any clutter which makes it feel empty and sad. You knew your best friend well enough to know he is a clean freak, but seeing his home so bare makes your heart ache.

“I didn’t feel like decorating. I only come here to sleep anyway.” Says the blonde and disappears in the hallway. You look around a bit to find the tiniest hint of life in this bare room but you fail miserably so you make your way to his bedroom to see his secret All Might stash; an voila, there is a hint of Katsuki all over his bedroom! All might figurines all over the walls, dark bedding, black furniture with orange and green bits and bobs all over the place. The dark walls make the room feel smaller, but honestly, his bedroom is huge anyway so it doesn’t really matter.

“If you wanted to come into my bedroom so much, you should have just said so.”

This man is going to be the end of you. You might be over the age of being all shaky when flirted with, but this is the man you’ve been in love with since your first year in middle school.

“Sorry” You stutter and step back to the hall but before you could run away, strong arms snake around your waist, pulling you in a warm embrace.

Katsuki’s hugs are something else. People think this man is not capable of love and affection, but those people have never been embraced by this bulky man. The way he pulls you in, the way he throws all his ego right out of his window and hides his face in your hair, the way he takes in your scent and gets lost in it, the way he closes his eyes and pulls you even further towards his body to have you as close as he can, the way you feel his fingers grasp into your waist so hard it almost hurts but it makes you want more at the same time…

Damn, you honestly don’t think you will be able to sleep in the same building as this man.

You quickly clear your throat to get some attention from the blonde, who almost literally melted into you at this point.

“Sorry to ruin the moment, but if we continue doing this we might not have anything to do on our first date…”

To your surprise, Katsuki is just as embarrassed as you are, if not more. So you weren’t just imagining things then; this embrace really wasn’t a friendly one. He nods in agreement and quickly puts his stuff into a duffel bag and just like that, he is already by his door, ready to leave the building.

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It takes about 20 minutes for you two to get to your apartment. While Katsuki lives in the fancy part of the city, you are perfectly fine with your small little flat in the middle of nowhere. You were actually really surprised to find a street so calm and quiet in this busy city.

As you open the door, you can hear a small thump and 4 little paws running towards you.

“Calm down, Katsudon!” You take the little rascal in your hands.

“You did not just call that dog KATSudon.”

… Oh, fudge.

You genuinely forgot about the fact that you named your dog Katsudon out of spite for the hero standing next to you.

You changed his name up to make it less obvious, but if the dogs name isn’t enough of an evidence, he is a Pomeranian.

2 years ago there was a meme going around on social media about Dynamight looking like an angry Pomeranian. You really didn’t go to the shelter to actually adopt one, but here he was, little, scruffy Katsudon, hating the world, barking at you like you personally insulted his birth mother.

You fell in love with him and named him after Kats… you mean, you named him after a Japanese dish. Yes.

You try to ignore the angry blonde next to you as you step into the apartment. You love this place a lot. There are a lot of shelves on the walls, filled to the brim with your favorite books and comics, small clutters and memories from the past all over the place.

You’ve always been a collector, you love your little knick-knacks and small memories from all over the world, but thanks to Katsudon’s inquisitive nature you can’t put anything on the table or the kitchen counter.

He might be small but you saw him jump on the counter like a bunny at least 10 times.

With that said, you absolutely love how much space you have in this flat for all your random things.

“You are not getting out of this, shithead” grumbles the blonde, giving your poor dog a piercing look. Katsudon doesn’t like to be stared at so he makes sure Katsuki knows where his place is. The dog might be small but he does indeed bite.

“I mean, you two are like two peas in a pod.” You can’t help but giggle as you look at their faces; both serious, brows scrunching, looking deeply into each other’s eyes with a frown on their faces. You quickly take a photo and send it to Kirishima. He’s going to love this shit.

“Oh, darling, this is it. I hope you are ready for your punishment.”

Katsuki wasn’t kidding. He attacked you in the most vicious way possible; with tickles.

When you were younger Bakugo did bully you a lot this way. He was aware of how much you hated it but he couldn’t help himself.

You try to scream and run away, but there is no escape from the wrath of Dynamight; in only 5 seconds, you end up on the sofa with Katsuki on top of you. After a few minutes of pure misery, he is finally satisfied with his work and let’s you take a breather. You can feel Katsuki’s breath on your lips as he pants and for a second and the time just stops around you two.

It took a blonde another second to realize the position you guys got into as he was too busy staring at your lips for the last few seconds.

He is not the only one lost in the accidental embrace; your hand flies up without your knowledge to brush the hair out of his face.

After taking in some air, you can’t help yourself. It’s time to do the deed.

It’s time to make your best friend extremely embarrassed.

“You know when someone says they want to be under you, this isn’t it, mate.” You wink at Katsuki and sneak out from under him in one swift move. You are a hero yourself, after all.

You can almost see the wheels turning in his head as his face gets redder and redder.

“I absolutely despise you right now.” He throws your own words back at you from earlier, his face hidden in his hands.

“Fuck, I love you too, let’s order some pizza!” You respond, not even trying to hide your cheeky giggle anymore. You didn’t even get to your first date yet but you already know there is nothing to stress about; you two click so perfectly, it’s almost painful.

Being with him in your apartment is so easy. It really feels like you’ve never left his side and this is just… normal. You can see yourself doing this every day; order some pizza after a long day, snuggle up on the sofa, treat each other’s injuries when needed and use every single minute wisely as with your line of work, you never know when will be last time you come home.

After shaking your head to snap out of… whatever this was, you quickly start an order on your phone. When done, you toss your phone to the blonde awkwardly sitting on your sofa.

He grabs his wallet from his pocket to take out his credit card and finish the order. “I’ll pay” he says waiting for you to start arguing about it but you are too busy to stare at the guys wallet. There is an old Polaroid sticking out, and you don’t need to see the full picture to know what’s on it.

“The Polaroid… I lost that in third grade. They only took one picture of us that day.” You mumble while getting closer to the man to take a better look.

It’s a really cute picture of the two of you from training camp. There wasn’t enough seating for everyone at the campfire so you ended up in your best friends lap. His head was resting on your shoulder, half asleep, giving zero fucks about the picture being taken, while you tried to make a peace sign for the camera.

“… and I found it on the floor and I kept it. I didn’t tell you about it, because I wanted to keep the picture but there was no way you would’ve let me take it from you.”

“You said you hated that picture, because we look all lovey-dovey on it.” You remind him, but the sad look on his face stops you from telling him off for lying to you.

“I said a lot of things I didn’t mean back then” Comes the answer.

You sit down next to him on the sofa with the picture in your hand.

“Why does it look so… crumpled?” You ask quietly, knowing the answer will probably break your heart. It might only be a piece of paper, but you can clearly see how much it has been through. It looks like it was crumpled a lot of times, there is some water damage on the edges as well. It looks so much worse than a few years old picture kept safely in a wallet should.

“I might have cried over it like a little bitch in a romantic movie a few times.” Says the blonde, spreading out on the sofa. “I looked at it a lot in the first few months. I hated to be so weak because of one fucking picture so I threw it away several times then I fished it out of the trash after a few hours. When I got older I used this picture to remind myself of my past mistakes.” Katsuki isn’t looking at you anymore; he’s just staring at the crumpled Polaroid, deep in his thoughts. He is so obviously in pain right now and you really want to tell him to stop talking but you are frozen.

You can’t believe how wrong you were this whole time. You can’t believe you weren’t there for him when he was so clearly lost. He wasn’t completely alone of course, but you know this man well enough to know he never told anyone about his emotional struggles. “Every time I wanted to blow someone up I looked at this picture to remember how I lost you because of my anger issues. This picture helped me so many times.” He sighs and makes a move to put the little Polaroid away but you quickly take it out from his hand. “Oi!” He barks but you are already by your door with a sharpie in your hand. You quickly write a little message on the bottom of the Polaroid.

“It looks better now.” You give the poor picture back at last and Katsuki gives you the sweetest smile while pulling you into his lap. You sit down with your back resting on his chest and you can feel his head plopping down to your shoulders, just like on the picture.

“Thank you.” He murmurs into your ear and pulls you closer to him.

Little Katsudon doesn’t like the lack of attention so he jumps into your lap as well.

Katsuki gives him a little pat on his head and to your surprise, he does not try to bite this time. You both doze off for a bit on the comfy sofa, pizza long forgotten.

You guys end up eating some instant ramen as it got too late for a pizza order. After a quick shower you are just about to put a comforter down for Kats on the couch when the blonde leaves the shower half naked and looks at you with an adorable grumpy face.

“So why can the fluffy Kats sleep in your bed but this Kats can not?” He points at himself. The absolute audacity of you for not letting this poor boy in your bed!

“The fluffy Kats has earned his spot on my bed by being a loyal companion every single day. It’s a year worth of hard work, grumpy cat!” You laugh and give a little kiss on the blonde’s cheek before making your way to the bedroom. “Good night, Kats.” All you get as an answer is a moody grumble that suspiciously sounds like “good night, asshole”. After closing your bedroom door you jump into your bed and you scream into your pillow like a real, proper adult.

All of this is so unreal to you. The last time you left your flat you were depressed, hated everything and you couldn’t wait to come back to your place to sleep in your comfortable bed. Now here you are, few steps away from the love or your life, only an unlocked door separating you two in the middle of the night.

You try your best to sleep, but you can’t seem to find your peace for the night.

Just when you are about to fall asleep after an hour of constant tossing and turning, you suddenly feel Katsuki’s arm around you, pulling you impossibly close. His lovely scent of burnt caramel fills up your nose and you can’t help but turn around and snuggle up with the “intruder”.

“Don’t tell me what to do, you dipshit…” Grumbles the blonde, but he makes sure he’s not holding you too much in case you do want to get out of his embrace and ask him to leave the room.

This is who Katsuki is: harsh words and soft touches. He might tell you that you have no other option than to obey him, but in reality, he would never force you to do a single thing you don’t want. You are not going to lie, the guy never gives up when he wants something and it did get on your nerves sometimes in the past but you’ve never felt uncomfortable around him.

As you pull Katsuki closer and snuggle up to him, there is no need for words anymore; the tiny kiss you give him on his shoulder, the way you make yourself comfortable in his arms and doze off without a single care in the world is more than enough for him to know he has earned his spot in your bed… and in your heart, forever.

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Click here for part 3!

[hiswitchcraft]

i think the fight, flight or freeze response happens when it comes to finally practicing (newly or otherwise). *how do we start a spell?? so many options (freeze).* idk

My brain is being funky about the way this is worded but I believe what's happening here is you're saying that when you try to practice, like do a spell specifically for example, you get freaked out and often freeze and don't do it.

If I'm understanding correctly that sounds like you're mentally getting overwhelmed by all the options, which I can understand, and I think I can help!

How do I Finally Start Practicing? It's So Overwhelming.

So my number one tips going into this are going to be take it one step at a time, know yourself, and write it down. I think these are great tips for any witch but especially if you get overwhelmed mentally by practicing. These tips will guide you if you make them your default. I'll explain what I mean.

By take it one step at a time, I mean you don't need to figure out what you wanna do or all the answers to how to do it immediately or over one day. You can tackle the questions over and over again and maybe you only get a little farther each time until you do it. That's okay.

By know yourself, I mean understand who you are, what you like, and what you believe. I know that's a bit of a tall order but it kind of comes with the territory and there's just so many topics encompassed by witchcraft that you have to have preferences and figure out your beliefs to know what to do. To a large extent the beliefs part will come with time, and actually practicing things like magic and experimenting, which I'm gonna help you do!

And by write it down, I mean take notes. This doesn't have to be a fancy grimoire or book of shadows, it can be in a binder or a google doc or a tumblr blog or all of the above. But it needs to happen because then you'll have an overview of things like cleansing methods, and patterns that show your preferences will start to form. Very helpful when you wanna do divination but don't even know what method to use or wanna do a spell but oh, you need to cleanse your space first, how do you even do that? Hopefully you get the idea.

Now I am gonna go over how to tackle spell work. I think you can work up to that. But first I have a suggestion!

If finally practicing feels overwhelming it's probably because you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself to do something meaningful and to do it right. With love, cut that shit out! All that matters is that you start and do your best. Cutting that shit out is easier said than done, I know, but there's no reason for all that stress. Start small. "Finally starting" doesn't need all the fuss. It could be going on a nature walk. You've got this.

For a bit bigger stuff, I'm gonna give some examples and also show how the tips I explained apply. I'm gonna use doing divination and spell work as examples because that's what I specialize in.

So for divination, there's a lot of what's and how's there. What method do I use? What do I ask? How many cards do I pull? That can be overwhelming for sure. Here's how I would answer those, whatever method you like! Do some research and start writing down the different methods you like or already know. Then you have a reference, and you can try a few methods over a long period of time if you like. What do you ask? Whatever is bugging you. Seriously, like you can just vibe check mundane things like a job interview. Say you go for cartomancy for example, because once again that's what I'm familiar with, think about something that's been bothering you and pull a card. It can just be one if you don't know or don't wanna find or make a spread! You can also always pull another card or two later as well.

See how we just tackled one issue at a time in steps, created a reference to help the overwhelm by writing it down, and made a decision based on you what you like? All the tips!

Hopefully that makes sense and I'm gonna show you how to do it with an even bigger thing like spell work.

First, you're gonna have to figure out your intention before you get to prepping the spell. You've got a few options here. You could pick an intention like protection or luck, especially if it's your first spell or if you just wanna do a spell like right now. You could also think about goals you have in your life or things you want to improve and find a simple spell for that. I'm thinking something like attracting prosperity, friends, a good partner, a good job, you get the idea. Which one of those you pick and how exactly you approach this is going to depend on if it's your first spell, where you're at in your practice, what you're comfortable with, etc. There's no shame in doing simple protection, luck, etc, sort of spells for your first 10 or 20 or 50 spells. You can always think it over for a good while and reach out to me if you're not sure if you're ready for a certain spell, if you need help finding a spell or deciding if it's good, what you're looking for, etc.

Now onto the prep. What exactly you need to do before a spell is gonna depend on the spell and the practitioner. You may not do some of these things (especially for the simple sort of spell I have in mind here) or there may be things a witch does to prep for a spell that I don't mention here. This is just a quick list of things to consider based on my practice and how I approach witchcraft and teaching you guys.

The things I have in mind are cleansing, charging, grounding, and warding. I usually recommend people know how to do these these things before diving into spell work, but you don't absolutely have to especially because we're likely talking about a small, simple spell here. Anyways I know what I just said is a lot but I'm gonna tell you the benefits of each thing and then we're gonna break it down like we did with the divination stuff.

Cleansing gets all the stagnant and or negative energy out of something so that it won't... be in your way or interfere with your spell work so to speak. There's some kinds of magic where you may not want to cleanse, but I think cleansing applies here.

Charging gives you an extra boost of energy through your ingredients, tools, etc, to help your spell work and keep you from accidentally exhausting yourself.

Grounding has always been hard for me to explain but it's like when you relax and focus and "ground" your body, mind and energy. It helps with focus and also keeps you from getting too tired.

Warding is creating layers of energy around a person or space to keep out things like negative energy, other's magic, etc.

I don't wanna get into how to do any of these things here because each could be its own post that's twice as long as this one but my new witch resources google doc has some links that may help you figure this stuff out. You're also welcome to message me for specific resources/explanations on this stuff.

Anyways, those are the benefits of those four practices. Ultimately you'll have to consider which ones you want to do, when, and why, but it's a start and a reference at least.

Now you've made some progress. Let's say some time has passed and you've approached it a few times and you've got an idea of what kind of spell you wanna do, and how you wanna prep, what method do you even use to do that prep? That's a pretty overwhelming decision.

I'll use cleansing as an example. You know I'm gonna tell you to write it down first and foremost! Write down some methods for cleansing. Do you have the supplies to do any of them? Do any of them sound easier or better to you? Narrow it down. And remember, take your time, you don't have to do all your homework and figure out all your preferences in one day! Eventually you'll have some methods for the kind(s) of spell prep you've decided to do already laid out and maybe you've picked your favorites. Feel free to write your favorite methods and ideas down too, in case you're forgetful.

There's one more thing, I know it's a lot but just hold on, that I want you to consider! And that is spell timing. You don't even have to think about this one but I wanna cover all my bases and I think this step might have some benefits for someone who gets overwhelmed. That mainly being if deciding when you wanna try to do a spell overwhelms you, you can narrow it down too! Then you've got it on the calendar and out of the way and don't just have to pick a day randomly. You've got the decisions done ahead of time which always helps me when I've overwhelmed.

Spell timing is basically timing a spell depending on things like the moon phase or other events to give it more power. People time spells based on times of day using numerology, the days of the week, moon phases, astrological events, days of religious or personal significance, and so on. I think moon phases are probably the easiest and most approachable for beginners so that's what I'd suggest and that's what I'm gonna use as my example.

Personally I like this chart by @orriculum for basic moon phase correspondences. This point is pretty simple. Will using timing make it less overwhelming for you to do a spell? And if so, you should already know what spell you wanna do, so pick a moon phase based on that intention. There you go!

Now you've figured out your intention and spell idea, favorite methods for preparation, and when you're gonna do the spell already decided! You've done it. Don't forget that you can tackle each one of these points one step at a time. It might take you a few weeks of thinking to decide what kind of spell you wanna do, then research, then what kind of prep work, then writing stuff down, you get the idea. Tackle it in steps! There's no shame in that. We all get tired and overwhelmed sometimes. Hopefully this makes that a lil easier!