#goofy’s terrible trio
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tristarnova · 2 months ago
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This is a continuation of the last poll, since you guys agreed the short leader of the terrible trio is the brains of the trio, what about the tall one, and the other one?
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malikselfindulgence · 1 year ago
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Kiri and Mina hear Rose literally screaming insults so loud at his phone that they get ready to beat someone the fuck up . Phone call ends and Rose is huffing and puffing and clenching xeir fists and they ask her what's wrong what happened where do they live we just want to talk . Rose shows them the watch-history log of his and Shinso's shared acc and Mina and Kiri blink comically. Turns out Shinso watched 2 whole episodes of a show they always watch together despite SWEARING on his life he'd wait for her to finish class . Kiri is trying very hard to be sympathetic and Mina's giggling unabashedly
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tizeline · 1 year ago
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The Sep AU is super interesting, like it grabbed my brain and does not want to let go-
I find it interesting how from the Drax Trios innitial perspective everything Donnie is just justifies their opinion more-
Donnies dark aesthetic, murderous humor, dangerous machines, deadpan attitude and lack of liking of magic combined with his alleged backstory and being friends with a human? U could really argue he got indoctrinated into being a villainous mad scientist or smth. They don't know that that's just him, Donnie TM. I can absolutely see them being worried that "Long lost brother" got brainwashed so badly and how annoying that could be for Donnie himself lol
I'm also curious on Donnies relationship with Splinter. Is it better than in canon or similar to Canon or worse? Since in Canon Donnie is craving parental approval, does he still here?
Thank u for (potentially) answering :)
First of all, "Drax Trio", thank you, I needed an easier way to refer to specifically Raph, Leo and Mikey in this AU so I'm gonna steal that
Second, yeah, Donnie acting like a cartoon villain is really just cementing the Drax Trio's idea that he's been corrupted by humans. You know Draxum's villain song in the show? I can totally see Donnie putting on a perfomance like that XD Speaking of Draxum, to be fair he's very alike Donnie in the way that he's fully embracing the whole Evil Scientist aesthetic, but in that case his sons would just excuse it with "oh haha dad's just a bit silly goofy don't worry about it it's not like he's actually evil!"
Anyway, you know how Mikey basically forced Draxum into having a redemtion arc in the show? He'd try to do the same with Donnie in this AU. I've been thinking about this for a while so I'm defintiely gonna draw it, but he's constantly going full Dr. Feelings mode trying to teach Donnie how to be a "good person" and such and Donnie finds it INCREDIBLY annoying!
And Splinter! Being a single parent taking care of a child who was created to be a super soldier while living in the sewers is HARD, but not nearly as hard as taking care four of them at the same time under the same conditions. So while Splinter is still dealing with depression and burn out in this AU, he's doing better than what he is in canon. For years Splinter and Donnie would literally only have each other, so they'd end up growing closer as a result. That being said, because Donnie didn't have any siblings to spend time with, he'd end up demanding a lot more attention from Splinter. Which he didn't always recieve, because his dad is still very much dealing with a lot of emotional baggage. To summarize, Splinter is still a flawed parent, but he's not terrible by any means, he and Donnie are close, but Donnie is also a lot more lonely (especially before meeting April).
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m1ckeyb3rry · 11 months ago
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I LEAVE YOU
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Synopsis: “Mispronounced words. He had mispronounced one of the simplest words in the English language, and it had led to all of this.” (Also know as Inumaki Toge Tries To Tell You He Loves You, But It All Goes Terribly Wrong)
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JJK Masterlist
Pairing: Inumaki x Reader
Chapter Word Count: 5.3k
Content Warnings: crack fic, secondhand embarrassment, miscommunication, mentions of sex toys/fetishes (non-explicit), megumi deserves damage pay, probably not lore-compliant, not at all to be taken seriously, characters are probably ooc tbh
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A/N: i posted this literally two years ago on ao3 and it just occurred to me to put it on here LMAOAO anyways i obv wrote this a long time ago and it’s the most unserious ridiculous thing ever so please don’t judge me based on this fluffy goofy silly cracky nonsense i promise I’m better now!!
divider credits: @/benkeibear
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The first emotion that spiked through you when you heard that the second years were back from their mission was relief. None of them were dead; anything else, you could deal with.
You had rushed to the infirmary, ignoring Nobara’s snickers. She alone knew who you was sprinting to see — your feelings for a certainupperclassman were highly secret, of course, but somehow she had found out, and of course she had, because she was Kugisaki Nobara, and nothing could really be kept secret from her for very long.
She had been urging you to do something, to make a move, citing that it “wasn’t like he had a lot of girls interested in him, anyways,” but you had always been too shy. You weren’t sure that you could handle a rejection, and it was hard to tell whether he was interested in you or just polite.
But your fear did not stop you from skidding to a stop in front of Shoko, giving her a wide-eyed stare, patiently waiting for her to tell you what was wrong with your friends.
“Did you need something?” she said. Obviously, her cursed technique had nothing to do with reading minds, but you still scowled at her for not knowing what you were thinking.
“The second years. Are…are they alright?” you said. She frowned, and this was your first clue that there was something less than alright going on with the trio.
“Well, they’re not permanently hurt, no,” she said. You sighed in relief — this was more than you could’ve hoped for. The curse that they had been sent to fight was obviously a strong one, and more than that, it was wily, with a rumored arsenal of techniques far beyond what you could even comprehend.
“That’s good,” you said.
“It is. They’ll all make a full recovery; Maki and Panda were barely impacted, anyways,” she said. Your blood ran cold at the name she didn’t mention.
“And Inumaki?” you said. If something had happened to him…you weren’t sure what you’d do. Probably cry. A lot.
“He’s fine, just a bit shocked. See, the curse managed to take his cursed energy from him, so until that’s been replenished, he’s just a normal person,” she said.
“Huh?” you said. “What does that mean?”
“Why don’t you just ask him yourself?” she said, ushering you into the infirmary, “I know that’s why you’re really here.”
Maki and Panda were nowhere to be found, and Shoko groaned, muttering about irresponsible children and telling you she’d be back with her patients in tow once more. This left you alone in the room with Inumaki Toge — at once your biggest dream and greatest fear.
You did not speak for the first few moments, far too nervous to open your mouth. He was buried in a mountain of pillows and blankets, soft blond hair falling in his violet eyes as he flipped through the pages of a book. His zipped up collar was nowhere to be seen; he only wore a plain white t-shirt, leaving his snake-fang seals visible. You had always thought they were pretty, so then your nerves were overtaken by infatuation with the elegant markings. The end result was the same: when Inumaki looked up, it was to you awkwardly standing in the room and watching him read.
“Hello,” he said. This made you pause and think.
“Hi?” you said.
“How are you doing?” he said. Now you really were confused.
“Not that I’m complaining, but can’t you…not speak?” you said. He set his book on his nightstand and sat up with a heavy sigh.
“Normally, I can’t. But as of right now, I can. That’s the effect of that curse we fought. I have the most cursed energy out of the three of us second years, so it drained mine, which means I’m unable to use my technique until my energy’s built up again. Shoko estimates it’ll be about a week,” he said.
“Oh!” you said. So Inumaki had one week of talking normally before he would be back to his usual limited speech. You wondered what he would think to say.
You had met Inumaki on your first day at Jujutsu Tech. He had helped you find your dorm room and then, via text, warned you about Gojo’s antics. Your crush had been born the very same day. He was so beautiful and kind that it was almost a no-brainer, really; though he could only speak in rice ball components, you didn’t even care. You found solace in swooning at him from afar, and every conversation you had ever had with him since then was filed away in a special corner of your mind, played on repeat whenever you were bored.
Nobara thought you were crazy when she found out, asking you if you had an ingredients fetish and then teasing you for a solid day by moaning tuna in your ear whenever she saw you. She only stopped because you started crying and begged Fushiguro’s Divine Dogs to chase her away if she got too close. The dogs were friendly enough and obliged, though you had had to buy Fushiguro several bags of candy for his troubles.
You could hear her voice in your ear right now as you stared at Inumaki, though it was thankfully not her moaning ingredients but rather her insisting that you say something. It was so easy; now, at least, he could reject you properly, with words instead of helpless frustration and a long-winded text about how you were nice, really, but he just thought of you as an annoying friend who didn’t leave him alone, and anyways, why would he ever like you?
“Can I tell you something?” he said before you could ask to do the same. Privately, you were relieved at this, for it meant you could procrastinate your confession a little further.
“What’s up?” you said, a small, childish hope arising in you that maybe, just maybe, this was it. Maybe he’d confess first, and then things would be very simple indeed. You allowed yourself to feel excitement building at this prospect.
“I…oh, man, how do I do this?” he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, a flush rising over his pale cheeks. “Ah, shit, I’ve spent my whole life wishing I could speak and having so many things to say but not the words to say them, and now that I finally can talk, I just don’t even know what to say.”
“It’s alright. You can take your time, I don’t mind,” you said politely. And you didn’t mind — whatever he had to say, you would wait around for years if you needed to in order to hear it. He ran a hand through his hair.
“I’ll just come out with it, then!” he said, nodding determinedly before locking eyes with you, “I leave you.”
It suddenly felt like you were underwater, ears ringing. Your throat choked, and pathetic, childish tears blurred your vision. He was leaving. Inumaki, for whatever reason, was leaving. And not only was he leaving, he was leaving you in specific.
“R-really?” you said, forcing a smile, though you knew it was awfully unconvincing. “Did I do something wrong?”
“What?” He seemed embarrassed, now, averting his eyes, “No, why would you think that?”
“Well, you just said…” you trailed off helplessly.
“Oh. I thought you would be happy,” he said, his voice quiet, small, ashamed. He looked almost brokenhearted, though why he would be feeling hurt about this development, you could not be sure. He was the one making the choice to leave; you were the one fated to stay behind.
“Why would I be happy about that?” you said. He was dejected when he spoke next.
“Never mind. I don’t…I don’t know what I was thinking,” he said.
“I’ll still support you,” you said, steeling yourself to flash him a watery smile, “I hope we can still be friends.”
“Yes! Yes, please, please, I know I messed up by telling you this, but I don’t want us to stop being friends,” he said.
“I’m glad you told me, though. I’d rather not be left in the dark. Have you told anyone else yet?” you said.
“No, though I’m sure Panda suspects it,” he said before shifting uncomfortably to pull his blankets up and hide his face, “Can you, um, go? I want some time alone.”
“Right,” you said, “I’m glad you’re not hurt permanently.”
As you left, you thought you heard sniffles coming from the lump under the blanket, but if he really was crying, he gave you no other indication of it. You thought of lingering, of comforting him and asking him to comfort you, demanding he tell you the reason for his departure, but it was not your place. So, biting the inside of your cheek to hold your tears back, you marched towards Nobara’s dorm.
“He told you he’s leaving you?” she said, ten minutes later once you had explained to her the entire story. “How odd. And he hasn’t told anyone he’s transferring yet? Not even Gojo or Principal Yaga?”
“No,” you said, finding solace in her warm embrace, the scent of roses that wafted off of her skin, “I just don’t understand why he’s going.”
“It’s so strange. I mean, I really thought he liked you! Although, maybe he does. Think about it, you’re the first person he’s told, so clearly he trusts you a lot!” she said.
“You don’t have to lie to make me feel better,” you said, “Regardless as to his reasons, it remains that he’s leaving me. At least he said we can still be friends, though.”
“Wait!” she said, and there was a conniving smirk on her face that spelled trouble, “I have an idea. Let’s throw a surprise going-away-party for him! Even if you don’t confess, at least it’ll show you care about him. And maybe we’ll be able to figure out why he’s leaving and where he’s going, too.”
“We have to do it before the end of the week, then, that’s when Shoko estimates his cursed energy will be back to normal and he won’t be able to talk anymore,” you said.
“I doubt you’d be complaining about that, Miss Ingredients Fetish,” Nobara said.
“I don’t have a fetish for ingredients!” you said, wriggling out of her hug and glaring at her.
“Oh, really? So you won’t get all hot and bothered if I say ‘salmon,’ right?” she said.
“No!”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, Nobara, I’ve never been surer of anything in my life,” you said.
“Salmon,” she said, panting dramatically and clutching her chest. You threw a pillow at her, knocking her off of the bed in a fit of laughter.
“You suck,” you said.
“You swallow,” she shot back.
“Ugh! You’re hopeless!” you said, throwing your hands in the air.
“I’ll text the group chat to make plans for the party!” she said. You gave her the finger and stomped out of her room to go sit in your own and mope about the fact that Inumaki was leaving.
Really, this was probably a good thing. After all, with him gone, you didn’t have to worry about him accidentally finding out about your crush. And maybe you’d even be able to move on, though you had no idea who at this school would measure up to Inumaki.
Nobara’s plan was sound, though. A going away party would be perfect to wish him one final farewell — provided, of course, that you were able to keep it a secret from the boy. This was easier said than done, but you were determined. You would make Inumaki’s party an occasion to remember, but this meant you had to call in some help.
The first thing you did the next day was video call Okkotsu, who was currently in Africa, training with a sorcerer named Miguel. You had to track down Maki and beg her for his number; she had been very confused but had given it to you anyways.
This left you staring at your phone screen, praying he would pick up. Inumaki and Okkotsu were best friends, so it would be wrong to not tell the black-haired sorcerer about your plans. He also might have some insight as to where Inumaki was going and why he was leaving.
“Hello?” Thankfully, Okkotsu picked up, looking extraordinarily confused. There were dark circles under his eyes and a katana strapped to his back. Despite the fact that he looked battle ready, he was just sitting on a couch and shoving chips in his mouth. “Who is this?”
“Okkotsu, sir! This is Y/N, I’m one of the first years at Jujutsu Tech,” you said.
“Okay. Don’t call me sir, it’s weird and I’m only a year older than you. Is there a reason you’re calling me?” he said.
“Yes, there is. See, Inumaki —” you began before he cut you off.
“Ohhh, you’re that Y/N! Yeah, yeah, I completely approve,” he said.
“Did Nobara already tell you?” you said.
“No, Inumaki’s been telling me about this for months now! Who’s Nobara?” he said.
“Months? But we didn’t even start planning until yesterday,” you said.
“He’s been dreaming of this day since the beginning of the year, even video called me and everything! I don’t think I’ve heard him say ‘salmon’ as many times in a row ever before or since,” he said. Unbidden, you remembered Nobara’s actions from yesterday and shivered before shaking your head to clear such thoughts from your mind.
“Do you know why he…you know?” you said. If Inumaki really had been planning on leaving for so long, then certainly Okkotsu would know why. The boy hummed and nodded.
“Yeah, for sure! But it’s a little weird if I say it, you know? Against the bro code or whatever, and it’d feel a bit too much like I was trying to slide in, which I’m not! Just ask him, I’m sure he’ll be delighted to tell you. God, he must be so happy right now! I wish I could be there to see it,” he said.
“Well, that’s actually why I called you. I’m throwing a surprise party in honor of the occasion, and I was wondering if you’d be able to come, or at least video call in,” you said. Each word Okkotsu uttered was like a stab in the heart, further reinforcing the fact that Inumaki really, really, really didn’t like you. Why else did he make plans to leave the literal day he had met you? You only wished he would’ve gone sooner so that your feelings did not build up and compound from a simple admiration into something greater, something beautiful and untouchable yet twisted and cruel.
“Sounds like a great time! Just video call me, I’ll be sure to pick up. And I’ll try to send something along as a gift, too! Damn, I know it’s not my news to be excited for, but it feels as though my heart’s going to burst!” he said, popping a final chip into his mouth before hanging up. You stared at the phone’s black screen for a second, marvelling at how this short conversation had made you feel even worse about the status of your relationship with Inumaki.
Before, you had believed that the two of you were friends, at least. You both had gotten along well enough — you would train together and slip each other notes with book recommendations. He had told you his favorite restaurant and described exactly the meal you should order, and you had introduced him to your favorite television series. Yet with the latest revelations that your discussion with Okkotsu had brought about, it was clear that all of this was Inumaki doing the bare minimum to tolerate you until the day he could leave.
Maybe he was glad that he could speak, if only for a short time. It allowed him to tell you in no uncertain terms that he was going away. If only he had elaborated back then! If only he had said that he felt such a way about you from the very start instead of leading you on with candy-sweet platitudes and feigned affection.
With Okkotsu’s presence now confirmed (and a gift apparently on the way), you moved on to the next thing you had to do in order to prepare for the party: recruit the other second years.
You decided to start with Maki. Though she was seemingly brusque, she was also a caring girl, and you knew she’d be thrilled to help throw a farewell party for one of her closest friends, even if she had not known he was leaving until just now.
As expected, she was properly enraged upon hearing the news.
“He’s leaving? Leaving where, exactly? The only place he’ll be going is hell, because I’m about to punch him so hard that that’s where he’ll end up!” she said, balling her fists, a vein popping in her forehead.
“Woah, hey, Maki! I don’t know where he’s going, but please don’t confront him. I don’t think he wants people knowing, and I want the party to be a surprise. He might get suspicious if he realizes that you know,” you said.
“Stupid idiot, won’t even tell his own classmates that he’s going,” she muttered, “I’ll keep your secret. But I will be committing violence at the party.”
“Please don’t!” you said, distressed at the thought, “I want him to have a fun final memory of Jujutsu Tech.”
Her eyes softened when she looked at you, and she nodded begrudgingly. “Alright. Your secret, and your party, are safe with me. I won’t tell a soul! Although, you know…a surprise farewell party would be a great place to confess your feelings.”
“How — how do you know about my feelings?” you said.
“Firstly, you’re not exactly subtle, the others are just really oblivious. Secondly, Nobara mayyyy have let something slip,” she said.
“I’m going to kill her,” you said.
“Don’t,” she said.
“No, I’m seriously considering it,” you said.
“If you do, I’ll ruin Inumaki’s party,” she threatened.
“Fine!” you whined like a child, “I’m going to go talk to Panda.”
The large bear was asleep in the sun when you reached him. You nudged him with your foot in an attempt to get him to wake up; thankfully, he did, blinking his beetle-dark eyes open sleepily and sitting up when he saw you.
“Panda, I need your help,” you said seriously once you were sure that you had his undivided attention.
“What’s the matter?” he said.
“Inumaki’s leaving, so I’m throwing him a party,” you said. Panda furrowed his brow, clearly trying to process this development.
“He is?” he finally said. You nodded, a small frown tugging at the corners of your lips.
“Yeah, he literally told me as much! He was all like ‘I leave you,’ and it was kind of upsetting, actually,” you said.
“How interesting,” he said finally, and now there was mischief in his expression, “And you need my help with hosting a party?”
“I don’t know how much of a party it’ll be, exactly, I mean it’ll only be the first and second years, but yes, basically,” you said. He chuckled, rubbing his paws together menacingly.
“Excellent. Yes, I’d love to help! And it’s a surprise, right?” he said.
“Yes?” you said. He looked almost evil at this point, baring his teeth in his version of a smirk.
“Even better.”
With the second years thusly recruited and the first years taken care of by Nobara (you wasn’t sure what, exactly, she had over Fushiguro to convince him to join in on the festivities, but judging by the sour expression on his face when he RSVP'd to you, it had to be something), the guest list was complete. Panda assured you he’d get Inumaki to come without being obvious, and you were happy to entrust the task to him.
This left you to go shopping for party supplies, using Gojo’s credit card (Fushiguro had told you where it was hidden). You had convinced Nobara to stay behind, claiming that she needed to hold down the fort in your absence and get started on cleaning the room you’d use for the party. That was a lie, of course — you actually just didn’t want to take her shopping with you. If she came, you wouldn’t be back before midnight, and the party was supposed to be tonight.
“Where are you going?” Inumaki said. You almost screamed at the sound of his voice; you hadn’t expected him to just manifest out of nowhere, and especially not when you were trying to sneak out of the school in order to buy things for his surprise party.
“Shopping!” you said.
“Can I come? I feel like things were kinda left off weirdly last time we spoke, and I hoped we could try to fix them,” he said. You were unused to hearing him speak so many words at once, and you were mesmerised for a second before you mentally slapped yourself out of it.
“No! You cannot come. Sorry,” you said, feeling bad. You wanted nothing more than to talk with Inumaki, to talk and talk until your throat went dry and your words ran out, but if he saw what you were shopping for, then he’d catch on to the plan.
“Oh. Is it because I told you — ?”
“Absolutely not!” you yelped, cutting him off, not wanting him to get any ideas, “I’m shopping for personal things. Like tampons.”
“I don’t really mind that,” he said shyly, “I don’t think tampons are gross. I mean, they’re only plastic and cotton. I just really want to talk with you.”
“Sex toys!” you said.
“Um, what?” he said, taken aback. Your face was hot with embarrassment, but you needed him to understand that he was not allowed to come shopping with you. So you locked eyes with him and tried to repeat yourself.
“I am going shopping for, uh, you know…I mean, you heard me!” you said.
“Right!” he said, and he was so completely red you almost called him Clifford, “I’ll leave you to it, then! I guess we can talk later.”
You gave him a fake smile and a thumbs up, staying frozen in place until he had disappeared from sight. Then, with a wail, you called Nobara.
“I fucking told him I was shopping for sex toys!” you said, not even waiting for her to greet you like usual. There was a long silence on the other end of the line before someone cleared their throat.
“This is Fushiguro,” he said. You promptly hung up and cursed your luck. You should’ve sent Nobara to do the shopping. You really, reallyshould’ve sent Nobara.
That evening, as the sun set over the horizon and Panda distracted Inumaki, the rest of you decorated the room that Nobara and Yuji had cleared earlier in the day. Maki and Nobara were too busy whispering amongst each other to actually help, though, and you were hiding in the corner, too terrified of his reaction to even glance in Fushiguro’s direction. For his part, he did an excellent job of ignoring you, leaving him and Yuji to do the majority of the setting up.
When anxiety made it difficult to breathe, you began to fiddle with the projector, where Okkotsu’s face would be shown once he called in to the party. The green light was blinking, which meant that it was ready to go and was only waiting for you to connect your phone to it.
“It’s going to be fine,” Nobara soothed you, placing a hand on your shoulder, “I think he’ll be thankful you planned something like this at all.”
“And I still think you should confess your feelings,” Maki said, adding her unwanted opinion, “Seriously! If he rejects you then it doesn’t matter, because he’ll just be leaving soon anyways. I think you should consider it.”
“She’s right,” Nobara said, “Here, maybe this’ll motivate you.”
She leaned in until her lips were barely brushing against the shell of your ear, cool breath tickling against your neck.
“What are you doing?” you said, unamused. She pitched her voice lower before speaking.
“Bonito flakes.”
“You little — stop doing that! I do not have an ingredients fetish!” you shouted, hitting her shoulder repeatedly. She burst into raucous laughter, tears of mirth gathering along her lash line.
“I’m going to have to request you to please stop talking about your intimate life in front of me, please,” Fushiguro said uncomfortably, “I already know far more than I ever wanted to.”
“Fushiguro, it wasn’t like that, I was shopping for party supplies! I only said the other thing to throw Inumaki off the trail,” you said.
“Okay,” he said, obviously not believing you but allowing you to pretend, “Whatever you say.”
“Shh! Panda and Inumaki are on their way!” Yuji said, interrupting the conversation by hushing all of you obnoxiously, “Everyone, positions!”
You all ducked behind various pieces of furniture, and one of Fushiguro’s Divine Dogs hit the light switch, plunging the room into darkness before it melted into the shadows once more.
A second later, the door creaked open, revealing Inumaki and Panda’s silhouettes standing in the frame. From beside you, Nobara began to giggle, and you pinched her in an effort to get her to shut up. It worked, although it did have the unfortunate consequence of her pinching you back.
“What’s going on here?” Inumaki said, turning the lights on. As soon as he did, you all (with the exception of Fushiguro, of course) leapt out at him. He fell backwards in surprise, staring up at you through thick lashes.
“Surprise!” Yuji said.
“It’s not my birthday?” Inumaki said.
“Do you see a cake anywhere?” Nobara said, “This isn’t a birthday party, it’s a farewell party!”
“A farewell party? But who are we saying farewell to?” Inumaki said in confusion.
“You. Did you think we wouldn’t care about your departure? You idiot, we’re going to miss you so much!” Maki said, sniffing and wiping away a tear.
“Let’s all go around and share our favorite memories with Inumaki,” Yuji said. Inumaki seemed dumbfounded, so Nobara took the initiative to respond.
“That’s a great idea! I’ll go first — I really enjoyed the one time he let me paint his nails,” she said.
“I don’t have any good memories,” Fushiguro deadpanned, “But if I had to pick a tolerable one, it would be when I convinced him to use his Cursed Speech on Nanami.”
“I remember that!” Maki said, howling in laughter, “And I can’t pick a favorite memory. We just have too many good ones.”
“Same!” Yuji said, and he was bawling now for some reason, “You’re just so cool, Inumaki! I’m so sad that you’re going!”
“Y/N, what about you?” Maki said.
“Confess! Confess! Confess!” Nobara chanted, not even trying to be subtle about it anymore.
“Be quiet!” you said.
“Do it or I’ll do it for you!” she said. You looked around at the audience; they all seemed interested, even Fushiguro. Though you wanted to talk to Inumaki in a bit more of a private setting, Nobara and Maki were right in that this was the perfect time to say something. So, taking a deep breath, you faced the boy.
“Inumaki,” you said, “I know that I’ve been acting weird recently, ever since you told me you’ll be going, but that’s because I don’t want you to. See, the truth is that I love you. I think I have for a while now, and I’m going to miss you, and I don’t want you to go, so please don’t. Please stay.”
He blinked. “Huh? What do you mean? I never said I was going anywhere.”
“Yes you did!” you said, pointing at him accusingly, “I remember it! That day in the infirmary!”
“I didn’t say I was going anywhere, I said I leave you!” he said.
“That’s the same thing!” you said indignantly, “You’re getting upset about semantics when I just confessed that I love you, idiot! Doesn’t that even mean anything to you?”
“No? I’ve never heard of that word before!” he said.
“Love? You’ve never heard of love before?” you said. He shook his head.
“Nope,” he said.
“L-O-V-E. Love. That rings no bells?” you said. His face suddenly went snow-white.
“L-O-V-E is pronounced…love?” he said.
“How the hell else would it be pronounced?” you snapped, feeling far too bewildered and irritated to soften your words. How could he have treated your feelings so flippantly? How did he just not understand love?
Inumaki suddenly found the floor incredibly fascinating. “...leave.”
“What?” You said.
“What?” he said innocently.
“OH MY GOD!” Nobara squealed, catching on far quicker than you, “You both are idiots!” Finally, you began to understand, and then you were inclined to agree with her.
“So you’re not going anywhere?” you checked.
“No, I’m not,” he said.
“He hasn’t been able to speak for practically his entire life,” Panda said, shoulders shaking with laughter, “Can you blame him if he mispronounces a couple of words now and then? It’s not like anybody’s ever corrected him before.”
Mispronounced words. He had mispronounced one of the simplest words in the English language, and it had led to all of this.
“You’re not leaving,” you said again, drawing closer to him, “You’re not leaving me.”
“I won’t ever leave you if you don’t want me to,” he said, wrapping his arms around you in a warm hug.
“Don’t,” you said, “Please don’t.”
“I love you. That’s what I meant to say all along,” he said.
“I guess I threw this whole party for nothing, then,” you said, hiding your face in his shirt.
“Is this what you were shopping for earlier? Not…the other things?” he said.
“Yeah. It was just a surprise, so I didn’t want you coming along,” you said, feeling bashful at how entirely silly the entire affair had ended up being. He let out a warm, gentle laugh that caused his chest to vibrate against your cheek.
“It’ll be hard, you know. Once this week is over, I’ll be back to only speaking in rice ball ingredients,” he warned.
“That’s probably for the best. Less room for misinterpretation,” you said.
“Plus, she has an ingredients fetish!” Nobara chimed in. You withdrew from the safety of Inumaki’s shirt to scowl at her.
“Enough with the ingredients fetish!”
A knock at the door interrupted the tense showdown; Panda opened it to reveal a delivery man, who was holding a package and fidgeting, probably out of fear, considering he was face to face with a giant, sentient panda.
“I have a package from an Okkotsu Yuta, addressed here?” he said. You slapped your forehead.
“Shit, I forgot about him! Thank you,” you said, accepting the box and then quickly calling Okkotsu.
“Hey, guys!” he said cheerily. His phone must have been set up against the wall of a building or something, because it showed him busy using his katana to exorcise curses and not even breaking a sweat, “Sorry, this isn’t a great time, but congratulations on getting together! I hope you like your present — hey! Stay away from the iPhone!” The screen abruptly went dark as a curse swiped at Okkotsu’s cell phone, knocking it down while the sorcerer snarled.
“Open the present!” Yuji said excitedly.
Inside of the box were two bright pink t-shirts. Both of them had white lettering on them — one said I’m Okkotsu Yuta’s Best Friend Foreverand the other said I’m Okkotsu Yuta’s Girlfriend-in-Law.
You all stared at them, expressions varying from amusement to delight to horror. You didn’t even question how Okkotsu had known that you and Inumaki would confess to each other. Clearly, he already thought you both were together, so it was really just divine timing in that sense.
Somewhere in Africa, Okkotsu finished exorcising the curses and sheathed his katana, casting aside his jacket to reveal a bright pink shirt that said on it in white lettering, I’m Okkotsu Yuta.
“Maybe they’ll let me third wheel,” he mused to himself, “I mean, they had better, considering how hard these shirts were to find at the thrift store.”
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welcometothejianghu · 2 months ago
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Top 10 of 2024
All right! It's time to count down my favorite Asian media things I watched in 2024 -- and sure, most of them came out way earlier than 2024, but whatever, I'm slow. Longer rec posts linked where applicable. If you wind up watching one of these on my say-so, let me know! I'm always happy to know I've been an Influencer (ha ha).
Honorable Mention: Heaven and Hell: Soul Exchange
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This was originally going to be on the actual list, but a last-minute contender hopped in and bumped it off. Still, I loved this weird genderfucky body-swap murder mystery romp enough that I couldn't leave it out entirely. This baby sits right at the Hump of Compelling Mediocrity, where when it's good, it's good, and when it's bad, you can't stop thinking about how you'd fix it. I want an American remake of this so Bryan Fuller can rub his butt all over it. [full rec post here]
10. Hotel Del Luna
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Did we watch this for Yeo Jingoo? You know it. And yet, we wound up falling for all the characters in this show about a bunch of dead (and one living!) people sending other dead people off to their afterlives. Meandering at times, it falls into a lot of K-drama tropes, but it still manages to pull of something special and occasionally profound.
9. 3 Will Be Free
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Ah, here's the last-minute spoiler from Thailand! We showed up expecting something dumb, fun, and horny. What we got was something way smarter than it has any right to be -- but still fun and horny! A bisexual trio of incredibly sexy people (and some fascinating side characters) fall in love while semi-haplessly on the run from a whole bunch of people with guns.
8. Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko!
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This goofy tale of dumb lesbians was wacky and fun from start to finish. How long can you keep up a gag about two co-workers each convinced that the other one isn't into her? Exactly the length of this tiny, funny comedy. And as a bonus, there's the manga, which is equally short and sweet. [full rec post here]
7. Story of Yanxi Palace
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At 70 episodes, this (rather speculative) historical drama is not for those with short attention spans. Even so, it's a treat for anyone who likes period pieces, lavish costuming, and high-quality acting. Watch as a completely insane young woman leverages her insanity to become the most powerful pretty pretty princess in the Qing Dynasty! [full rec post here]
6. The Rebel
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And speaking of well-acted period pieces! At the risk of quoting myself: Do you feel like watching a beautiful man have a terrible day for 43 episodes straight? Then this Republican-Era spy drama is for you. Zhu Yilong bounces off some gorgeous costars in a gripping tale of brave Communist misery. [full rec post here]
5. Legend of Fei
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A great example of how a boilerplate YA story about a bunch of teens who save the world from eeeeevil adults can be elevated by leaning in to its inherent sweet, melodramatic goofiness. I wouldn't call it a comedy, but it's a very funny drama held up by delightful characters and charming romances. I have no idea what the plot was, nor do I care. I was too busy watching Yibo smile. [full rec post here]
4 Otoko Meshi
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This show is silly. It has a completely preposterous setup: an injured yakuza boss moves in with an unemployed twentysomething, cooks him dinner, and teaches him life lessons. It has all the subtlety of a piano dropped from a great height. All the acting is completely over the top. And yet, it manages to be sincerely heartwarming? This ten-episode food-based comedy is entirely worth the effort you may have to go through to find a way to watch it. [full rec post here]
3. The Spirealm
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Yeah, this one grabbed my ass good enough that I've made a whole meta-and-shitpost sideblog (@thirteenthdoor) for it. I will say, though, that the show wouldn't have done it alone -- my love for it is compounded by how I fell even harder for the book it was adapted from. Both of them together tell a gay-ass horror story about love and loss through several terrifying, deadly worlds. [full rec post for the show here; full rec post for the book here]
2. The On1y One
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Just ... damn, man. What a piece of art. I was not expecting much out of a Taiwanese BL about two high-school boys falling in love, much less a beautiful, well-written, amazingly affecting tale of complicated family dynamics and gay feelings. It had better get a second season that concludes the story, is all I'm saying. [full rec post here]
1. Kinou Nani Tabeta?
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I have now watched significant portions of this ... four times? Because I keep showing it to other people, because it keeps being that good. The slow, cozy, food-centric tale of the daily lives of two aging Japanese gay men makes you feel happy -- but when it rips your heart out, it rips it right out. I get that it's a little Too Real for a lot of people, but oh, it was just what I needed. [full rec post here]
What will 2025 bring? Who can say! I hope it's gay, though.
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hypnoticmoth · 9 months ago
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okay 1: sorry for asking something again today :P
2: i assume you like Valentino because of his design and/or voice like most Valentino lovers, (me included), but his personality is quite interesting and it kinda makes me like his more, if that makes sense? Not like the abusing and being a terrible person, but the fact he does it is unique and i dont know many characters with those traits! So I like the *idea* of being abusing and shit, but him actually doing it, I dont, does that make sense? Anyway the actual question is: do you like Valentino bc of his design and such, or also the *concept* of his personality?
It's ok !!
About why i like Valentino, it's a combination of everything. Yes, he does have an amazing design, and his VA does a stunning job at voicing him.
But i also like the way he's written. He's an unredeemable villain who does absolutely horrible things (and he'll get what is coming for him). He's threatening and detestable and i just enjoy it.
He's also quite clever and manipulative and i think a lot of fans don't give credit to his intelligence.
He's also pretty goofy in the way he acts, acting like a giant throwing tantrum manchild, bedazzling his gun in the middle of a meeting with the other two Vees, ect. And despite that, it doesn't remove any of the threatening aura he has, and i just think it's pretty neat to have a truly irredeemable villain that doesn't lose that threat and edge about them while also having some fun and goofy moments.
All in all, i love the Vees, I think they're good villains, i'm excited for season 2. They're all as awful as each others and they'll be a fun trio of antagonists.
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mcyt-trios · 1 year ago
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PROPAGANDA:
The Bad Boys:
They were so entertaining to watch. All of them share one singular braincell and they keep losing it. They couldn’t even keep Jimmy alive.
They’re goofy little guys! Who doesn’t love them! Have you seen any clips?! Plus, ladder talk podcast. Iconic. One of a kind. Never been done before. The hijinks! The tragic ending! They’re very much the best bad boys on the internet
They’re each a lil dumb but put them together and they get so much stupider, it’s wild. We love irl pals who work together and are terrible influences on one another. They actively build a brand of mutual bullying, true friendship <3
they are everything, they are sunshine and love and nonsense and digging straight down, they stay loyal the whole time and are messes without each other!
“Bad boys bad boys whatcha gonna do, watch’s gonna do when they come for you”.
Familoier:
I CANT SPEND THE NEXT HOUR TYPING
THE TRIO OF ALL TIME TRULY- ALL 3 OF THEM LOVE AND CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER SO MUCH- LIKE ROIER AND CELLBIT ARE MARREID YEAH BUT THEY STILL CONSIDER JAIDEN PART OF THEIR FAMILY SHE IS IMPORTANT TO THEM AND THEY ARE IMPORTANT TO HER- ROIER AND JAIDEN WILL ALWAYS BE PARTNERS NO MATTER WHAT
theee relationship of all time: roier is husbands with cellbit and jaiden is his qpp, they are all so caring for each other and they have had their tension and their bad moments but there's a genuine want to communicate and grow better all the time :( <3
Cellbit and Roier are romantic married, Roier and Jaiden were platonic partners raising a child together, and all 3 are chaos together! But get along so so well! They support each other so much and care about each other so deeply and they are all Sillies
this is jaiden, and this is jaiden's partner/ the father of her child roier, and this is roier's cannibal husband cellbit
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dantedemondino · 9 months ago
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Alright screw it Planet of the Apes OC’s go brrr-
Meet my trio (someday quartet?) of apes.
(Full refs are on my Toyhouse, check my pinned post!)
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(KINGDOM SPOILERS BELOW FOR LORE)
Locust! A kind hearted, yet rather confident bonobo. (Rather he lacks common sense-)
He grew up in “some clan”, it’s not important anymore to him. As much like other neighboring clans and tribes they were seized by Proximus, all in the name of “Caesar”. Who ironically Locust somewhat doubts ever existed- he didn’t mind it terribly, though he found this obsession with the door equally as foolish. In his mind he thinks: If this Caesar dude is so great and powerful and made humans fall, and you want to be him? Why do you need the human stuff? Of course that question doesn’t last long.
In the chaos of all the war and flooding, he found himself washed away from any ape he had gotten the privilege to know. He fled as soon as he could get on his four limbs- deeming that this constant aggression between gatherings of ape was too much. So he set to try the “Hermitcrab” life. (Hermit. For English is hard for humans, let alone apes.)
Darwin. A weathered chimp, with a sharp mind. (May be accused of witchcraft.)
Darwin gets his name for a reason- while he isn’t hell bent on being anything like a human/Caesar like Proximus? He is a very inventive/curious ape. His clan used to inhabit a faction in the factory area of a rundown city. While few dare to touch the human work, when it gets too dangerous? He had more wonder than preservation. He learned how certain rock dust reacts to heat- meaning he held the power of fire in his hand. (Only to brutally scar himself of course.) He was lucky to not ever meet Proximus, as I feel it would go terribly-
He meets Locust because that goofy bonobo doesn’t take a hint that someone might live in the conveniently lively building- and after spending that much time alone in the city? He can’t help but conveniently take pity on them. Eventually departing into the jungle with him too!
Ari. A chill but rather nerdy orangutan. (A self proclaimed scholar of “Caesar”)
Despite living in the treetops, she is very down to earth. And in a literal sense to how they met Locust & Darwin. She proclaims its fate the way she fell out the trees onto the only other two apes she has seen in a long time. Thanking Ceasar, she watches as the two scoff? Oh boy- two misguided people! She would proceed to try and join them in an attempt to teach them about the actual words of the law giver.
Little does she know she too will find some of her ways are lies…
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veren-cos · 5 months ago
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Worth it Though!
Sam would be so down for skincare because he just has to have good looks for his concerts. His words!
"Hey farmer! Do I look good or what?" Sam had blue painted all over his face and a goofy smirk plastered under it. You decided it would be a great idea to have a self care day with your boyfriend! Face masks were perfect for your first stay-at-home date.
The two of you had just started going on, and you were over the moon. Sam was amazing. He started waking up early to meet you as you made your way into town. He was warming Jodi and Vincent up to you more. You had gone to the movies, and went on a picnic at the beach. Now, facemasks!
"You look so dumb" you laughed as you finished applying yours. "What about me?"
And he just cracked up laughing. "Oh god, is that how I look?!"
"It's good for our skin I promise!" Or at least you'd hoped.. you'd made them yourself. If anything, they wouldn't hurt!
"What's next, beautiful?" God, you loved it when he called you that.
"I'm thinking...." even though you already had the whole night planned out. "Nailpolish."
"Ooooo" Sam painted his nails frequently! The troublemaking trio had done that a few times at sleep overs. "What color?"
"Hmmm. How about I pick yours, and you pick mine? Cute and simple! Either that, or.. We could go for a matching color?" You were hoping he would want to match! It's an adorable way to show affection, and something that really only the two of you would notice.
"I am so down to match!" He picked up a deep red from the table. "Doesn't this fit the vibe of my guitar?" And it really did.
"Oh, We have to do that color." You nodded your head vigorously. You took the polish out of his hands and gave it a good shake before twisting the top. You started applying it onto Sam first, and you felt his eyes on you.
You just looked so focused! And so cute! Ahhh damn his nails being wet, he wanted to kiss your face. Pull you close, feel your hair in his hands.
"Sam!" He looked at you. "Great I finally have your attention! Your nails are done. Now, you know the drill, don't touch anything until they are dry. It'll ruin them. You want to paint mine while you wait?"
"Oh, uh.." shoot he totally spaced through you actually doing his nails! "Sure!!" He beamed a smile at you. Trying to distract himself with the task at hand. He held your hand in his, holding out your index finger while he painted it red. He could feel your pulse, beating every so slightly underneath his hold.
Maybe he could get away with a peck? He leaned in and kissed you softly before going back to your hands. "Saaaam, stop you gotta focus."
"You never said I couldn't kiss you!! And I am focused." He had about one hand finished, but before he moved on to the next, he gave you another kiss.
You broke off to breath before deepening it. He placed his hands on the sides of your face, inching closer and closer to your hair. Eventually, he lost all composure and slid his hands to grip your hair while melting your lips into his. It was honestly a terrible kiss. Nailpolish getting into both of your hair, and just an awkward position.
But you wouldn't trade it for the world. Once the two of you caught your breath, you teased, "damn it Sam! Now we need to try again!" Showing him your freshly ruined nails.
"Damn..." he looked down at his own, even more ruined than yours. Sam shot you a cheeky grin when you rolled your eyes, "Worth it though!"
Masterlist
This was just a little drabble that floated in my head for a while. I wanted to expand upon it, but it never really happened. And honestly I just love writing and I know if I try to perfect it I'll never post anything so sometimes K just call it a day and am happy with what I write. Also, 2 fics in one day woahhhhhhh, both Sam related too hahah
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roe-and-memory · 10 months ago
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Hello!
Here is an ask about the three musketeers ( Bobby, Cal and Lightning).
What do you think was the first prank they all pulled on each other?
OOOHHHH thats a hard one..
i feel like they were all super awkward around one another (lightning and his goofy ass never having friends, cal just being Cal, and bobby not really knowing how interact with either of these goofs)
but, bobby is 100% the first person to make a move.
its what begins his tradition of pouring water on the other two after races.
its sunny, hot, the race is over and all the drivers who didnt make it to victory lane are catching their breaths — hell, even the driver who DID make it to victory lane is struggling to stay upright. of course, its lightning.
bobby squeezes through the crowd — he himself is already soaked, a mixture of sweat, water, gatorade, maybe tears (joke) making him insanely uncomfortable — and unfortunately for lightning? he made the mistake of sitting down on the ground, back against his car, his hair is brushed out of his eyes and greasy with sweat, and hes too distracted by a kori with a mic and a cameraman to notice bobby sneaking his way into victory lane with a full bottle of freezing cold water in his hand.
its a miracle he could get in there as easily as he did, and he walks around to the far side of the car, uncapping the bottle as he does so.
and, as quickly as possible, he leans over the hood of the car and overturns the bottle right on top of him, emptying the contents and ditching the plastic bottle there to make a run for the crowd.
lightning kind of sits there Stunned for a minute before he quickly tells kori he has something to do, and promptly stands up and chases after him (hes now shivering, because all the sweat inside his firesuit, trapped to his undershirt, has turned Cold and his hat is Soaking wet and his hair is Wet Cold and its TERRIBLE.
he catches bobby in the pits where he playfully tackles him (although it doesnt do much considering lightning is 5’6 and scrawny, and bobby is 6’1 and built Relatively nicely). lightning swears hes gonna get him back, and sure enough, that next weekend while bobby is in the middle of an interview? lightning does a pie-by, slamming a pie into bobbys face and ditching the stage as fast as humanly possible .
it kind of crates a little circle of the trio doing this Specific type of prank on each other, and bobbys by far lasts the longest
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squidslugs-art · 1 year ago
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HERE YE ALL HIGH ROLLER'S HIGH ROLLER FANS
so for like, the 2 people paying attention to me talking about my "secret project" on my main blog, i hope you like the result, because my december project has been...
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LOW BALLERS!!!!!!!!!
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ive been quietly painting ducks and creating myself a trio of little guys over the last, hm, 2? 3 weeks?
i dont even rember. but ive been planning this for months, i just didnt have time around university to do it til now.
BUT i had so much fun with these. painting ducks is surprisingly fun and it all went really well! i think the only issue is the only hats i could get had a straw texture already applied.
i used silver for details, mostly because i forgot to buy white and i thought id see how silver looked so i could dodge trying to buy more paint at christmas, and it looked good on the first so i stuck with it!
for those curious: i used white racing ducks (means they dont squeak or squish, but i think thats ideal for a painting project) and plastic hats designed for dolls and crafts. and wine bottles toppers, according to the terrible names that these get on amazon. with acrylic paints and superglue to affix the hats down. they aren't waterproof, sorry to the belivers.
heres a turnaround for ya'll too, i added some goofy details like sparkles around the glasses and the hat. its a tragedy i couldnt get metallic paints for the hat.
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i think thats all ive got to say, hope everyone else likes my little guys the way i do :3 now on to make more until i have an undefeatable army of them...
more images under the read more!
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tristarnova · 2 months ago
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Like a regular terrible trio, their heights are different, so there is one that is tall, one that is of average Height, and one that is short, and I’m curious, which of the three do you guys think should be the leader of the terrible trio, if the terrible trio has a leader in the trio that isn’t their boss goofy.
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herosplatling-replica · 1 year ago
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Internbot Masterpost 💙
so ummmmm i got a lot of questions about Internbot and their entire deal, and i figure it would be a good idea to work on having all of this in one place so i can have it readily accessible for people that are curious about them!
The majority of the info about the intern will be linked below the cut! Please enjoy 🧡
In loose story-chronological order:
An Unofficial First Meeting comic 🎨
Prestissimo (writing) (Tumblr Mirror Coming Soon) 📃
Nice to Finally Meet You comic 🎨
An Involuntary Reflex comic 🎨
The Intern's initial concept, their finalized design, and their future post-RD design 🎨✏️
The Inner Workings of Intern's Monitor 🎨✏️
Helping Out 🎨
Musings of a Machine comic - existentialism included 🎨
The Trio and Non-Verbal Communication 🎨✏️
A Little TLC (writing) (Tumblr mirror) 📃
The Trio Falling in Love 🎨💓
Palpitations (writing) (Tumblr mirror) 📃💓
Attempts at a First Kiss 🎨💓
System Failure (part 1) (part 2) (part 3) comic 🎨
Dreams of a Machine 🎨✏️
Artificial Arrhythmia (writing that goes more in depth into the events of System Failure) 📃💓
Keeping a Close Eye 🎨💓
The What Ifs of Inny's CA ✏️
5-X and the Monitor Crack 🎨
Operation Distract Edega comic 🎨
Winterizing (writing) (Tumblr mirror) 📃💓
Winter Mornings 🎨💓
Kisses Under the Mistletoe (two parter)🎨💓
Their First Christmas Together 🎨💓
Bonfire Song (Happy Holidays) 🎨
Prayers of a Machine for the Future 🎨
Hospital Cafe Music Night 🎨
Rules to Live By comic 🎨
Valentines Practice 🎨
Polyrhythmcule stuff that doesn't really have a set timeline yet:
Accidental Proposal & Wedding Ring Concept 🎨💓✏️
Telling the Patients 🎨
Inny's Best Man comic 🎨
Emm Paige, Intern's child 🎨✏️
Emm as a Doctor 🎨✏️
Some more speculative art posts about the future of Rhythm Doctor, and the things that could happen:
First Shot at an Intern CA moment (replaced by Artificial Arrhythmia) 🎨
Sudden Promotion comic 🎨
New Emotion Discovered comic 🎨
The Locked Path (not posted yet)
and because i'm insatiably self indulgent, the AU corner:
Internbot in @sirwow's CC au of Rhythm Doctor:
User Connection Offline 🎨
A Goofy Alternate Ending 🎨
Last Log: Two Weeks Ago 🎨✏️
Just a Terrible Situation (not posted yet) 🎨
Songs of a Machine 🎨
Why Do We Have Hands? 🎨
Someone Will Die OF FUN 🎨
You're Gonna Be Alright 🎨
Parent Adjacent 🎨
Internbot in @possessable's RDPossession AU:
Original Concept 🎨
The Road to Hell is Paved With Good Intentions 🎨
Artist's Favorite Moment 🎨
BREAK STUFF (not posted yet) 🎨
Internbot in the Lobcorp/Ruina Sephirah AU I made:
Original AU Concept with Chart of the Roles 🎨
Ruina Design 🎨
The Willingness to Stand Up Straight (comic)🎨
The Rationality to Maintain Discretion (comic) 🎨
Internbot in Hanahaki AU:
Intricate Systems 🎨
Flowers of a Machine 🎨
Flowers of a Radiologist (not posted yet) 🎨
Flowers of a Doctor (not posted yet) 🎨
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welcometothejianghu · 1 year ago
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Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 民国奇探/My Roommate is a Detective.
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My Roommate is a Detective is a 2020 drama about the Jazz Age shenanigans of a terrible OT3: a useless noodle boy, a spoiled journalist girl, and a handsome thug-turned-cop, who together solve Agatha Christie mysteries in 1920s Shanghai.
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I mean, seriously, have you ever wondered what Hercule Poirot would be like if he were a 6'2" Chinese rubber man? If he had a long-suffering sugar daddy from the wrong side of the tracks and a spunky sugar mommy who owned their shared apartment? The answer is, it would be a laugh-out-loud-funny series about a ridiculous and charming assortment of weirdos solving only slightly believable murder mysteries in charming period clothing.
This is another one of those shows where I'm kind of shocked at how not well-known it is, except I'm not, because I can see exactly the problems that keep fandom from descending on it like horny little vultures. Nonetheless, I think it's a good time that more people would enjoy if they gave it the chance. Here's five reasons why you should:
1. Equal parts smart as heck and dumb as butts
On the one hand, especially given its tone and tenor, this show has many surprisingly clever turns and thoughtful moments, carried along by some talented actors. On the other hand, [.gif of a guinea pig in a rollerskate being pushed merrily down a hallway]
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This show is not a complicated intellectual exercise. It's an action comedy about a goofy sleuth, a rich-girl reporter, and the cop who should be the straight man in this trio, except he's as much of a goober as the other two are. If the promotional tableaus are giving you real "cover of a Clue box" vibes, you've understood the kind of pastiche it's pulling off.
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The mysteries are preposterous. They're all the kind of thing that exemplify the Doyle line about how, when you've eliminated the impossible, whatever's left has got to be the answer, no matter how ding-dang improbable it may be. You know the type: tons of overly elaborate setups, unbelievably perfect timing, coincidental long-lost relatives, people hallucinating right and left. They're also very short -- most full cases take only 2-3 episodes to introduce, investigate, and resolve, even when interspersed with the larger goings-on in these weirdos' lives. The DramaWiki page for the show lists 23 separate arcs over 36 episodes, so you do the math.
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And yet, it's way more thoughtful and clever than its doofy little setup would indicate. Its attention to detail surprised me on more than one occasion. Add to that a bunch of solid performances from an ensemble of real characters, and what you get is definitely more substantive than a junk-food waste of time. You can't turn your brain off while watching it, but you sure can turn it down, and that's great.
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It also doesn't hurt that everyone is super attractive and wearing great outfits. The whole show's worth it for the wardrobes.
2. THE GIRL
Fuck the haters, fuck everyone, I am going to climb right up on my little soapbox and tell you all why Bai Youning is awesome.
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She is insane. She's a troll. She's a clever little monster. Every other character's response to her is, oh my god, you are literally the worst. And she is! She has been spoiled beyond belief by her incredibly rich Crime Dad, and she has learned to leverage her uwu just a widdle girl status to get her whatever the hell she wants. She simply cannot hear it when someone says the word "no." She will look her future sister-in-law in the eye and point a loaded gun at her own head without blinking. Every ball she has is made of brass.
She's hardly perfect. During the course of the show, there are some times where her entitlement runs face-first into the brick wall of reality. She's not nearly as good at her chosen career path as she's been told (mostly by the people who get paid to tell her she's good). She's rarely prepared to deal with the consequences of her actions, especially when she can't just throw money at the problem.
So she learns, and grows, and changes. She's always going to be a stubborn bitch, but she can become a stubborn bitch with a more accurate conception of her relationship to the world around her.
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She's actually a really good romantic foil for Lu Yao, who is equally stubborn and spoiled and obnoxious as hell. It is a pure brat4brat relationship, where each one thrives on comically enraging the other. What this means, though, is that when they actually start showing one another some vulnerability, it's really sweet.
Now: I'm pretty sure that you could not have made a female character in her position that everyone did not hate, no matter how cool you made her, because that is the fate of all girls who theoretically keep the two boys from kissing. (More on that next point.) If she were less outgoing and friendly, she would've been hated for being too cold. If she were less headstrong, she would've been hated for being a pushover. If she weren't as into the boy, she would've been hated for being frigid. I know the "god forbid a woman do anything" meme is a joke, but ... man, god forbid this girl do anything. She gets a level of hate entirely disproportionate to what she's actually like. As I said with Eom Dada, it's not always sexism, but sometimes, yeah, it's sexism.
(Real talk: Her character is also fighting both how she's definitely not written as well as the boys are and how the plot sometimes needs her to be artificially stupid and jealous for Straightness Drama Reasons, so that's a legit problem on a structural level. Also, she's dubbed by someone else and the boys aren't, which gives her voice an annoying not-quite-there quality that's hard to ignore. The deck is stacked against her real hard even before she steps onscreen.)
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So here's my advice: Go into this show wanting to like her. Embrace her terribleness as a positive, intentional quality. Don't be mad at her for straightening up an endgame that was never going to be gay, even without her. Welcome her contributions to the chaos. Realize that she is exactly as entertainingly irritating as her boys are.
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Truly, this is a story of three terrible people in love. They're all just awful, and you wouldn't want to be in a room with any of them for longer than you had to. Left to right up there, Bai Youning is spoiled and self-absorbed, Lu Yao is arrogant and lazy, and Qiao Chusheng is suuuuuch a fucking cop. If you're into the kind of dynamic that can only be described OT3: You All Deserve One Another, then this one's perfect for you.
3. Do you really miss '00s queerbaiting?
Like, really? Are you just super-nostalgic for being able to see the showrunners go, ha ha, girls, we know you're watching and we know you want these cute boys to kiss, which they never will -- but what if we pretended for just this one scene??? Do you just carnally ache for that with every fiber of your being?
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Yep.
Now, why am I calling the occasional really gay moments between these two gentlemen "queerbaiting" and not "bromance"? Because these moments are a) obviously intentional, b) completely sporadic, and c) never spoken of again.
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For example: There's a scene (which you can see a gifset of here) where the two of them are at a restaurant frequented by the cop, who brings a lot of ladies there on dates. When the waiter points this out, useless noodle boy says, I'm his date. The waiter looks mildly surprised by this, the cop says not to listen to his bullshit, and that's the end of it. The scene moves on. There is no further discussion of this comment. It does not affect their relationship.
That's the essence of queerbaiting: that little on-purpose nod to the homoerotic tension between the two, in a way that isn't a joke but also isn't not a joke, and either way is never going to happen. (In fact, the show is going to go out of its way to make sure that ship gets sunk, so, uh, get your fanfiction lifeboats ready for that.)
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A true queerbaiting move is something that should make a difference in a relationship, but doesn't. It should make a difference that our cop is so comfortable in the noodle boy's personal space that he invades it at will. It doesn't. It should make a difference that noodle boy keeps getting real weird every time the cop has a date with a girl. It doesn't. Those are some real romantic moves the two of them keep pulling, and then nothing comes of them.
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I had this show sold to me as being incredibly shippy, to the point of being even more so than its censored-BL contemporaries. And ... well, it is and it isn't. It has textually gayer individual moments, but it is much less pervasively gay. It's clear from the start that it's going to throw all its actual relationship points into its canon het romance. When it comes to these boys, the show is toying with you. It knows you want to see those boys smooch, just as much as it knows (and it knows you know) they're never gonna.
How you feel about this is entirely up to you -- and indeed, it may be a dealbreaker on the whole drama for you. If you are inclined to pitch a fit when your ship does not become canon, you'll be happier somewhere else. If, however, you see this as a delightful opportunity to do whatever the hell you want with the situation as it is presented, all the while enjoying little moments of startlingly blatant homoeroticism between two handsome dudes, well, here you are!
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(I mean, if you want my take on it, what needs to happen is that the cop and the girl need to fuck while the useless noodle boy watches with asexual bisexual interest, and then they all need to snuggle with the noodle boy in the middle so they can both annoy him appropriately, but your mileage may vary.)
4. The multicultural extravaganza!
1920s Shanghai had a lot going on in terms of cultures and languages, and this show actually does a fair job of representing that.
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By now, I've seen a number of shows set during this era, and they all at least acknowledge the international nature of the city -- usually by mentioning the French Concession and having a handful of evil Japanese characters. However, this is the first time I've seen a show go to such lengths to actually show so many non-Chinese characters onscreen, even to the point of making one a recurring character supporting the main squad.
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Salim is the best. Whatever he is being paid, it's not enough. He's Qiao Chusheng's right-hand man, which means he is also the dude who most often has to put up the main trio's bullshit. (The actor himself is also a dude with a pretty cool backstory, which is another great layer.) He's sharp, he's loyal, he's patient, and he looks great with his shirt off. He's got it all!
Other non-Chinese characters include a white Jewish art collector (I'd issue a warning for period-typical antisemitism, except … honestly, it's mostly just confused), a sadistic priest who maybe is supposed to be Italian, a completely different priest who [last episode spoiler], and three whole sinister white dudes behind it all.
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It's not just the world coming to China, though! A large number of the Chinese characters are said to have spent significant time outside of China, whether for business or for schooling. Near the end, when some characters are discussing moving away from Shanghai, they consider a number of foreign cities as potential destinations.
Here's a delightful detail: When Lu Yao and his sister speak English, they're dubbed by actors with posh British accents who sound like native (or near-native) English-speakers. This makes perfect sense, because both of the siblings did a lot of their schooling in the UK. When Bai Youning speaks English, she's dubbed by someone who speaks English very well but also has a noticeable Chinese accent, which makes perfect sense for her character's background. And Qiao Chusheng never speaks English at all, because he's a street tough who has no reason to know more than three words.
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...This is also kind of weird to say about something literally made in China, but go with me on it: Everything's kind of got that Art Deco Orientalist vibe to it. It looks like China's idea of what Britain's idea of China during that period would have looked like. The result comes across less like what 1920s Shanghai would actually have looked like, and more what an ad for 1920s Shanghai would have looked like. It's a fascinating aesthetic, and more so for how it's mostly pretty subtle. The show isn't some visual extravaganza, but it's always very nice to look at, and I appreciate that in a show.
5. A wonderful horrible protagonist
A lot of mystery-themed prestige television involves an asshole genius detective who gets away with being a dick to everyone because he's sooooo smart, while all his long-suffering friends and colleagues spend a lot of time doing damage control for him because, sigh, he's an asshole but we need him, genius excuses all dickhead behavior, we'll always make exceptions for him because he's just ever so special. (Watch histrionic sage hbomberguy's video on Sherlock if you're unfamiliar with the trope.)
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Lu Yao is an asshole genius detective, but one who winds up spending most of his time being an asshole to a) people who deserve it, or b) his horrible friends who will be assholes right back at him. When he is awful to the people who don't deserve it, the show smacks him pretty hard on the nose for it and makes him apologize.
This is a show where you'll figure out pretty quckly if you'll love it or hate it, because if you love Lu Yao, you'll love it, and vice versa. He carries most of the show himself, with his goofy charm and his incredibly bendy slenderman body and his ability to make the one competent person he knows both protect him and give him money.
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Like so.
For my own part, I find him intensely charming, and I think a lot of this has to do with Hu Yitian's ability to play him as an affectionately bullyable weenie who needs to get shoved in a locker for his own good. He's the worst, and it's comically endearing instead of offputting because at the end of the day, he really does have a good heart. He's just also lazy as heck and disinclined to do anything that he does not want to be doing, and really, aren't we all?
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As I alluded to in point 3, he comes across as real asexual. He's just not that interested in sex, and he is in fact pretty uncomfortable in situations where he finds himself the subject of someone else's sexual desires. He's perfectly capable of romantic feelings! I mean, not only does he get Bai Youning as a love interest, we actually meet one of his ex-girlfriends. He's just not partciularly horny about them -- which is even more noticeable as a sharp contrast to how extremely horny Qiao Chusheng is for just about everyone, but this exasperating little dork in particular.
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(Like seriously, 90% of the time, Chusheng is about to explode with sexual frustration at Lu Yao's skinny oblivious ass.)
This isn't to say you couldn't get Lu Yao into bed, because you absolutely could, and he'd probably have a good time. You'd just have to remove all distractions from the room, lest his ADHD ass wind up running off to solve a crime mid-coitus.
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Twiggy little nightmare man. Garbage-animal boy. Love him.
sidebar: A word about the ending
I'm going to be vague and talk about general vibes instead of specific events, but you should still skip this section if you want to remain completely unspoiled. Jump to the picture of Chusheng holding the sledgehammer.
Okay, so, a lot of people do not like the ending, and I'm including myself in that number. I honestly don't know if they got rushed and had to wrap everything pretty last-minute, or if they thought they might get a second season out of it and were leaving things open-ended accordingly. Either way, it's incredibly unsatisfying.
I think there's a clue that the show didn't actually want to end this way, and it's not actually in the text of the show itself. Every episode, between the last scene and the start of the credits, you get to see a couple still frames from the episode (usually some of the queerbaity ones). After the very final shot of the series, you get two images: the boys hugging goodbye, and Chusheng's upset face. That's not a resolution! That is at best a "to be continued..." ending!
But no, that's it. That's all, folks.
It's not quite an ending so bad it ruins the rest of the show, mostly because it doesn't feel finished, so it's less like you're watching a car being deliberately driven into a wall because someone thought that was the best route to take, and more like you're watching someone leave a car on the railroad tracks because they figured they'd have time to move it later.
As far as I know, there has been no noise made about a second season. These 36 episodes are the entirety of the narrative. It had the distinct misfortune to start airing in March 2020, which wasn't exactly prime time for planning sequels, and that seems to have been that. (There is a 2022 show called Checkmate that stars the two main guys in extremely similar roles, also adapting Agatha Christie stories, but it's apparently pretty meh? Somebody else who's actually seen it, go ahead and weigh in here.)
I'll say that if you turn off the episode right after Lu Yao gets out the handcuffs, you'll save yourself the worst of it the awkward and unsatisfying moments (though I'm impressed at your willpower to stop watching something five minutes from the end). That's not all of it, though. Structurally, there are several situations rushed to a resolution and loose threads left flapping untied in the breeze. I guess stopping before the last five minutes simply saves you the hope that it'll pull a good ending out of the fire, because it won't.
And let's be real: The more you hate Bai Youning and her romance with Lu Yao, the more you'll hate the ending. (Not that liking those elements will necessarily make you like the ending, of course, because I'm a fan of hers and I still think the ending is butts.) The ending is already like a pair of uncomfortable shoes; if the het romance especially makes you grind your teeth, the ending becomes a pair of uncomfortable shoes that also have a rock in them. A lot of the comments online indicate plenty of people dropped the show when they learned the het romance would be endgame. It's a pretty common dealbreaker.
Oh well. Bring on the fanfic, I say! Those of us who are used to taking a sledgehammer to canon are unafraid.
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Smash it, baby.
Still want to see some of these mysteries?
Both iQiyi and Viki have the answer to your sleuthing!
It's not a perfect show -- as evidenced by my digression about the ending -- but it's a lot of fun. If you can handle the occasional foible and some eyebrow-raising moments, you're in for a good time with some attractive people that occasionally tastes very gay.
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Every roommate crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man
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meadowmusing · 1 year ago
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my thoughts before the PJO finale
overall? A good fun show but with some definite stumbling. Faithful in a "remake" sense, but as much as a "port" would be. Still a genuinely good time with a likeable cast, gorgeous visuals, and an engaging (mostly) interesting plot.
Beware spoilers for ep1-7!
My biggest gripes
Pacing. the first episode was horribly paced. Somehow both rushed, not well condensed, and yet also failed to effectively deliver tension in important scenes it was needed in. Scenes like the minotaur felt dragged out and lacked the urgency it deserved, and the fight/victory fell kind of flat. Pacing got better in later episodes thankfully.
Sally Jackson. Yeah I know, not a hot take. She's a more realistic depiction of a mother in that kind of situation but I didn't find her likeable outside of her first scene talking about the name Perseus. She's not necessarily a "Bad Character" per se, but she is not the Sally Jackson from the books. Frankly, I didn't find book Sally all that important, but seeing this version has definitely wised me up to importance of her kindness and patience. Sure she might have seemed like a "doormat" at the beginning, but the more u learnt about her, the more her inner strength and self sacrificial love for Percy was apparent. TV Sally just doesn't have that, it doesn't feel like she has that much affection for Percy, she seems more distant and less loving. TV Sally has far too many scenes of her raising her voice at Percy and being frustrated with him, it makes it seem more like she was randomly stuck with this child and while she loves him, she knows deep down she would have been happier without him. Again, understandable but not book Sally. I feel they've sort of played up Percy's fierce love for his mum (or maybe it just feels more so because its more present in his spoken lines), but it doesn't feel as justified. If anything, id believe a more messy wrought relationship between the two. Its not a bad thing she's not the exact same as her book counterpart, but I do think it was a bad decision when they went so hard on Percy being ride or die for her, when most of her longer scenes are her being just frustrated with Percy being a child.
Gabe. ok more of a hot take I guess but I seriously disagree with his re-characterization. I don't mean to downplay anyone's experiences with toxic or abusive partners, but Gabe is far too bland and inoffensive. At worst, he's kind of annoying and maybe lazy. But he is nothing like the human sht stain that was book Gabe. Book Gabe deserved petrification and a lot worse, TV Gabe does not. The guy deserves a break up, not murder. Me and my friend actually laughed at him, because he didn't give "beats his wife and emotionally abuses her and her child", he gave "dead beat crypto boyfriend". Maybe it was the casting as well, the actor was funny and just seemed more goofy than actively horrid. "what makes u think he hasn't hit sally?" have u met TV Sally?? are u kidding me? she would have that man arrested.
Hades. I don't actually dislike making Hades friendly and more sassy. Sure its not book accurate, but you could argue its a little more mythologically accurate (maybe). My real problem is that he lacks PRESCENCE. Yes he can be nicer ect in this, but he is still the GOD OF THE UNDERWORLD. He should still be able to command a room! His words, even if they're not malicious or intimidating, should hold a certain kind of weight. I don't blame the actor here, I think he does well with what he's given but pretty much everyone else dropped the ball here. If they had supported him, we could have had a friendly Hades that was still a fitting lord of the underworld. Writers, directors, lighting, sound, ect let him down.
Persassy. Percy was great in the beginning but I felt like he started to lose that as the show went on, to give more of his lines/sassy moments to the other members of the trio. Which wasn't a terrible idea, I just think they did it too much, especially with the Ares scenes. Percy is meant to have an epic beef with Ares so much it transcends magic amnesia, but I could not believe that with the current lack of sass. Even the upcoming battle doesn't feel as weighty or deserved as it should. Again, don't hate the idea of sharing the sass around, just don't think it should come at the cost of Percy being toned down so much.
Getting into the underworld / mattress scene WHAT WAS THAT. I can accept that Percy knows more about Greek mythology because of his mom and i feel generally from just current cultural zeitgeist, but WHY THE HELL WOULD HE KNOW WHO CRUSTY IS?? and why was it so quick? there was no quick desperate clever thinking, it was like bro had read the scene from the book and then SPEED RAN IT. Also the Charon scene was far more interesting imo and I don't like that they cut it in favour for Crusty, without even doing that scene well. God that was so poorly executed.
Anyway thanks for reading my rant. Its long so it may seem like I didn't like the series but im being truthful when I say I did. I pretty much liked the rest of it, even some of the changes. I thinks a good show and adaption with some flaws, thats all. Im excited to finish up the season and im so pumped for season 2 and hopefully the rest of the series :D
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motheatenscarf · 5 months ago
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Jesus fucking Christ, Square, get it together.
Login for my morning check-in on retainers while I drink my coffee. See, oh! There's new merch in the official store! Two things catch my interest, and upon closer inspection, two things fucking suck.
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First one, oh, yeah, good on them to finally realize how popular selling the Emet-Selch Convocation stone would be to go with the Azem one. Oh... oh, that looks terrible in acrylic. Wait, it's not even solid acrylic, they just had to slap their fucking logo on it! So. It's the same price as the fanmade ones, only much, much worse!
No, thanks! What else you got?
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Well, these miniature painting magnets at least are such a cute idea, but I could probably make something similar myself I really felt like it. Hm. $88 is kinda steep for the set, but there's like, 5 in each that I do want, and a home-project would look a little janky, and relistings will probably go for like $15-20 each anyway. Maybe I should just bite the bullet and sell or give away the ones I don't care about. I guess it depends on how big they are if I want to splurge or not, let's read the description.
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Oh.... oh, wait.... wait, what?
BLIND BOX???
So, it's not $88 each for either set of 8 portraits. It's $88 for a BLIND BOX of 8 that could hold one of each per set, but probably has duplicates, with no guarantee of the ones you want. It's $88 for a gacha box.
The fucking. Shit ass, goofy faced, cheap plastic Elpis trio """""Collector's""""" figures that were not worth more than $30 a piece for how fucking jank they looked were $3 less than this each, but you KNEW which one you got at least! And you could not make them at home for $20 worth of glue, cardboard and paper!
Holy shit???? I don't even want to buy the sesecondhand now, I hate the idea of anyone spending money on this.
Why are you like this, Squenix??? Is this because no one wanted your fucking NFTs?
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