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made some stickers and other stuff ~
you can get them here -> https://mrsracuchslav.etsy.com
#good omens#crowley#aziraphale#angel#demon#stickers#etsy#store#online store#fanart#illustration#sketch#drawing#art#digitalart#lineart#handmade#chibi#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#black and white#wine#good omens art
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,
#i haven't been this online since around 2020/2021 adfsgh#all for a good cause tho - the royai cause 😌#spending my saturday night counting and spacing out promo posts so they're (relatively) even 💀#(pls spare me i've had a lot of wine as i try to accomplish this HAHA)#i've got spreadsheets on spreadsheets for this event 😎#and i'm just. so thankful and grateful for everyone showing their hype and enthusiasm for the big bang event#royai still going strong after all this time!!! we love to see it!!!#still bringing ppl together 🥰#feeling gratfeul to have been brought in to be a part of it all 🩷 ana ily and ur big magnificent brain for this MWAH#emma talks
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yippeeee the dices
#this dice collection is so pretty but i’m giving most of it to my friends…#ive been playing dnd or pathfinder with this group for literal years and i’ve like spent so much time with them LOL#and i’m finally seeing some of them this summer#so this is the gift. i still have to get a set for the dm but like i think i’ve already spent ~200 on the dice here so im like oh my god#but im like fuck it lmao they have given me so much happiness lol 😭#also since im already typing i was listening to one of the celebs from my hometown and sometimes it hits me how strange it is#tht i am vaguely interested in this man even though i literally like saw him for 5 seconds#he is like so incredibly famous#i know like 90% of people experience this but it does annoy me so much that i treat famous ppl diff in my brain differently even tho ik#they just want to be treated like normal people lmao 😭#i think its bc my brain goes ‘oh theyre so loved i wish that were me!’ even tho theyre not really experiencing love#w the masses of ppl online#i have a headache from all the plum wine i drank but plum wine is soooo tasty guys#idk what they put in it#probably plum but wow it is so good. lol 😭#i think i will let this headache go away for a little and then go to bed. gn everyone 🐈🐈
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⌖ Men who say they want a "TRADITIONAL WIFE" who takes care of ALL the domestic work, but also expect her to work outside the home and pay half the bills: DIE, QUICKLY!
#⌖ online#⌖ YOU ARE NOT TRADITIONAL. YOU ARE BROKE AND LAZY.#// she's sipping wine and watching financial audit and hollering at this one couple. this episode is going to be good. she can tell.
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my bestie made me this fucking delightful little cross stitch for my birthday and I'm so enamored with it
but also it's a reference to a Friend Meme which was like. a vine about spoilt rich dirtbag pesudoleftists which we used to remain sane when we were working an activist stall (for work) at Glastonbury in 38° heat and everyone there was posh hippies. whenever we as two people working in activist spaces encounter really fucking annoying performative leftism we look at each other and go "praaaaaaxis" and feel better. and it only makes the type of sense I want it to make in that context.
and that's why I just spent 10 minutes in the middle of the night standing in the hallway going "it's praaaaaaxis" in varying degrees of vocal fry and trying to explain to Kofi a) what praxis actually means in a leftist context and b) what praxis means in this completely opposite "I snorted a bunch of coke and drive my dad's BMW into a wall and that's praaaaaaaxis" context.
#red said#god i love them#they're such a good friend they're a real sweetie#also they are my number one favourite person in the world to bitch with for exactly this kind of reason#like most of my other friends are too nice or bitchy in the wrong direction#me and them are on like. the perfect petty sniping wavelength#we get a glass of wine and go UGH ABLEISTS. UGH PERFORMATIVE LEFTISTS. UGH THIS PERSON NEEDS A SPINE.#i think it's bc we're both Tumblr girlies#both got them discourse vibes#ngl last time i got a wine'n'whine with them we spent a non-zero amount of time talking particularly about Very Online Queer Discourses#and how unhelpful they are irl
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fallen prey to saying stupid shit on the internet without thinking and coming off as incredibly rude and insensitive. i feel sick to my stomach. never commenting on anything else ever again. deserve to be squashed under someone’s shoe and ground into powder. in all seriousness this has shocked me so much that i am quitting every platform but tumblr for however long it takes for me to get some sense knocked into my dumb fucking skull
#actually considering deleting the clock app rn#what i said was so so bad and it could’ve been avoided if i’d fucking READ WHAT I WROTE and thought abt it FOR ONE GODDAMN MINUTE#i genuinely feel like i’m going to throw up being seen (fairly. justifiably) as mean is like the worst thing#and i don’t deserve to be wining abt this bc i’m the one who hurt someone but good god#PLEASE make sure that when you say something online you would SAY IT TO THEIR FACE#ive gotten to used to this brusque rude dark humor on the internet that i don’t relaizw using that humor INDISCRIMINATELY WITH STRANGERS is#Not okay#they made a video on it but the video got taken down so i deleted the comment. which might have been more selfish. i don’t know what’s best#-to do in that situation? i’m going to change my fucking username and pfp atp and go off the app entirely because i’m so fucking adhd ames#**ashamed don’t know why is autocorrected to that#ok just deleted the app ‘and all of its data’ so idk if that means my videos (edits) too but atp whatever#maybe it’s impulsive but at least this way i will not know what’s going on ! and never hurt anyone again hopefully. i really hope he saw my#-comments before his response was deleted because i want them to know it was not intentional and i am truly so so sorry#i don’t know how i’m going to function for the rest of the day. i’m going to think about this when i go to sleep for the rest of my life#i feel sick#i’m evil#and being evil isn’t fun silly times it literally makes me want to throw up from how bad i am#too much ranting in the tags and i deserve to be fucking shot in the mouth#but i need somewhere to put this that no one will see this but that is also public so that someone might see and know how sorry i am#feel like fucking bojack horseman#unironically how am i supposed to go on living. how can i live knowing i’m so bad. if i don’t kill myself im being selfish because i’m mak-#-omg everyone deal with my presence and live with a bad person.#i think i’m going too social media entirely except for tumblr maybe bc i can’t or don’t rly talk to anyone on here#i need someone to like give me a good meaning but not in a cathartic way in a way that it genuinely hurts so bad and makes me feel the full#suffering i deserve
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to the very very kind person who sent me two prompts on this ask game that i have not posted/responded to:
i promise i am going to do them still. i got a little preoccupied and my brain did not want to work. i appreciate you much and please know i'll post them this weekend at the latest!
#shut up cat no one cares#thank you tho v kind person!! i'm not tagging you here but i think you're online right now#i appreciate you and your patience#legit anyone who send me those - i appreciate you#it is really helping with my creative block that's creeped into my mind after posting that he gifset#if you all want to send more don't hesitate to#shit even send your ship of choice - if i'm familiar with it and it's not a nono ship (check my biases page)#i will use your ship 10/10#also because i'm legit writing out a gd and about to outline the supercorp one even because i liked them so much#apparently tipsy/slightly intoxicated me does good domestic shit#i'm such a freaking wine!aunt#i became the meme#<- i babbled in the notes again so#long post#hush cat
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Wines Online Singapore - Red Dot Wine
Explore Wines Online Singapore with Red Dot Wine, your premier destination for exceptional vintages. Our user-friendly platform offers an extensive selection of hand-picked wines from renowned regions worldwide. Enjoy expert recommendations, detailed tasting notes, and seamless ordering. With competitive pricing and reliable delivery, Red Dot Wine brings the cellar to your doorstep. Discover, learn, and indulge in fine wines effortlessly through our comprehensive online wine shop.
#wines online singapore#good red wine singapore#wines singapore#white wine singapore#Discount Wine Club
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Exoticwine Spirits: Finest Top Rates Single Malt Scotch Whiskies
Discover the unparalleled quality of top rated single malt scotch whiskies at Exoticwinespirits. Our carefully curated selection features the finest offerings from renowned distilleries around the world. Savor the smooth and distinctive flavors of these exceptional spirits, and treat yourself to a truly luxury drinking experience.
Click here - https://exoticwinespirits.com/best-highland-and-speyside-single-malt-scotch-whisky/
#good single malt scotch#fine & rare wines limited#buy online liquor#liquor store washington dc#top rated single malt scotch#best place to buy whiskey online#speyside single malt scotch whisky#liquor home delivery#highland single malt scotch whisky#exotic wine and spirits
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I keep seeing thrifting videos where people find such cool stuff and I’m like oh I haven’t been to goodwill or wherever in a while let’s go look and it’s all a lie nothing is ever gonna be in ur size and everything is made out of the scratchiest material known to man and there’s at least 3 old men glaring at you
#the only good stuff I ever find at goodwill is I’ve gotten a few kitchen things there#like I got a really nice metal strainer for like $3 when I was looking at that exact one online for like $20#or I got a cool lookin napkin holder and fun wine glasses#ghost rambles
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made for lovin’ you
older!Eddie Munson x fem!reader
A bad Tinder date gets a whole lot better…
18+ MDNI┃9k
cw: age difference (30s/40s), alcohol, smoking, light choking, softdom!Eddie, face fucking, light hair pulling, fingering, piv sex, finishing inside, and aftercare ‘cos we deserve it ♥️
I’ve been in a Mood and now you all have to suffer.
eddie edit by @eddiemunsons-missingnipple
Holy shit, was this guy boring.
Not terribly surprising, unfortunately. Your expectations weren’t all that high to begin with. Most of your recent forays into online dating had been yielding overwhelmingly middling results and this one was no exception.
He had seemed perfectly nice on the app, when he was nothing but a handful of generic pictures and a smattering of inoffensive text bubbles. But any appeal he held had been in steady decline the moment he took his seat next to you at the bar.
He looked more scared of you than anything—fumbling his words and constantly having to push up his glasses as they slid down the bridge of his sweaty nose. You did what you could to help him relax, coaxing him into the conversation, asking all of those tedious first date questions.
And every single one, he answered with nothing but curt, clipped responses. Making no attempt whatsoever to follow up or ask you literally one single thing about yourself.
Then you made the fatal mistake of asking about work, and suddenly longed for the wall of silence. As soon as he got the chance, he launched into a long and droning explanation of his research on the behavior of crickets.
Acheta Domesticus, not that you asked. And he didn’t so much as smirk at your gesundheit joke.
You might have called it quits entirely by now…if it wasn’t for the guy at the end of the bar.
He had arrived not fifteen minutes after your date did, and slid smoothly onto a stool directly in your eyeline. Which was good, considering you would have snapped your neck trying to get a look at him otherwise.
In a word, he was beautiful.
Slightly older, with long dark hair that was wavy and ruffled. A short and scruffy beard that only further accentuated the hard line of his jaw where it met the thick, muscular column of his neck.
He was quite literally littered with accessories—a silver hoop that glinted in his nose, leather cuff and chains on his wrists, chunky rings on his fingers that rapped rhythmically on the bar.
Then there were the more permanent accessories in the form of black ink tattoos that covered both his arms and scrawled upwards to peek out from underneath the collar of his t-shirt. A mix of all different styles and designs, ranging in quality from the kitchen scratcher bats on his elbow to the larger and more artful pieces clearly woven in later to complete the tapestry.
You’d certainly never seen him here before, and that was sort of a feat for this place.
West End was one of your favorite places for this sort of date. It was close enough to your place to be convenient, yet far enough that there was no chance of a guy trying to invite himself over to “use the bathroom” or “wait for an Uber” or whatever other excuses they dredged up.
It was actually two businesses in one, sharing the same name, running out of opposite sides of the same building. Causing only mild confusion.
To one side was a wine bar with cozy seating nooks furnished with plush loveseats, sofas and overstuffed armchairs, all a mishmash of vintage styles from thrift shops and flea markets.
But the other side was all modern and industrial—a billiards hall with high ceilings, exposed brick walls, and a large, glossy horseshoe bar that surveyed the tables from the center.
You tended to frequent the wine bar with your roommate Robin whenever you found yourselves in need of a moody atmosphere and some low, soft lighting, your evening scored by the crackle of some great vinyl record. But the other side was better for dates because it automatically gave you the out of an activity in case you found the conversation lacking.
And boy was it lacking tonight.
He regarded the pool tables more like they were live alligators and quickly dismissed your offer to play before launching right back into his overly-detailed explanation of the differences in the eating habits of crickets and grasshoppers. You sighed, no longer attempting to disguise your boredom as you propped your elbow on the bar and rested your chin on your hand.
It wasn’t just that his research was boring—though it was. Really, the problem was all of his technical explanations were so dry and devoid of any emotion that it made you wonder if he even enjoyed it. You had more stimulating interactions with the bartender, for crying out loud.
He was new to you too, but he moved behind the bar with such ease it seemed like he’d worked there for years. He’d introduced himself as Steve, a row of pearly white teeth winking at you as he flashed a smile you were sure had won him his fair share of superlatives in high-school.
His look read more upscale mixologist, sporting a dark gray vest over a crisp white button down. Sleeves rolled up to show off his forearms that flexed with the pour of every drink, and the collar left open to reveal the glint of a gold chain resting on the soft down of his plentiful chest hair.
The hair on his head was shorter and lighter than the other man’s, but it was long enough to curl slightly around his ears and along the nape of his neck. The ends of it were kissed with caramel highlights that shone in the light when he flipped his head back or ran his large hands through the feathered locks whenever a piece fell forward into his bright hazel eyes.
Most importantly, he also seemed to be friends with your current fixation.
They had greeted each other jovially, hands meeting in a tight clasp over the bar before Steve grabbed a bottle of whiskey and started to pour without the other man even having to order. You watched with morbid fascination as those plush lips wrapped around the rim of his glass and his eyes fluttered closed as he took his first sip, the tattoo on his neck bobbing with the swallow.
Jesus Christ on a cracker…
Suddenly, as though he could sense you watching, his eyes popped open and immediately locked on yours. You started at the sight of the deep brown, almost black, vortexes in the middle of his face, nearly choking on the sip you were taking of your own drink—an excellent Malbec Steve had recommended when you first arrived.
A rush of warmth exploded on your face and you looked away, doing your best to pretend like he hadn’t just caught you blatantly staring at him.
Or that you hadn’t felt that egregious burst of excitement when he did. Did he care that you were looking? Was he looking at you now?
Doesn’t matter, you reminded yourself, trying to return your attention to the man in front of you.
The one you had made an actual plan to come here and meet; the one who was…still talking.
The next bit of your date felt like it took an entire year. You mostly phoned it in, reluctant to admit defeat too quickly. But over and over again, you found your focus drifting either to the stranger at the end of the bar, or to the bartender. And often, those two went hand in hand.
Again, they were either very old friends or both of them were extremely friendly. They talked and joked back and forth in between Steve helping other customers, bouncing from end to end of the bar with ease, charming smile never faltering as he enchanted every person he served.
As for the other man, you’d caught his eye enough times by now that there was no mistaking he was watching you. Though, you suppose that meant he knew you were staring at him as well…
At the end of your first glass of wine, you excused yourself from the bar—needing a break from this guy’s droning voice more than anything.
He nodded, finally taking a sip of his beer he’d barely made any progress on he’d been so entrenched in his recent soliloquy.
The bathrooms at West End were towards the back, down a long hall that obscured them from view of the rest of the bar. It gave the impression of being in an alleyway with black beadboard paneling that came a little over halfway up the wall and an eclectic gallery of pictures.
There were two bathrooms side by side, just single-room stalls adorned with brass apartment numbers rather than gendered signs, and you slipped into the one with no light coming out from underneath the door. And maybe you took a little longer than you probably needed, milking your break for all it was worth. Not stalling, just…taking care of some things.
Things like touching up your lip gloss that needed no touching up since you hadn’t said more than two words in the past half hour. Or like pulling up Tinder on your phone and setting your location to the absolute minimum distance. You know…just on the off-chance someone in the immediate vicinity happened to also have the dating app installed.
No such luck, you found.
A bit more deflated than you had any right to be, you tucked your phone back into your bag and rolled your eyes at yourself as you reached for the doorknob. You didn’t look up until you were almost at the end of the hall and when you did, you found brown eyes looking back at you.
He was headed for the bathroom as you were coming back and he caught you at the start of the long, narrow hallway leading to them. Your eyes met his as you approached and you paused, already anticipating that awkward shuffle of both of you trying to get out of the other’s way.
There was no awkwardness, though.
Heat pooled low in your belly as he held your gaze, and rather than breezing right by when you came to a stop, he stopped as well and leaned against the wall to let you pass. He was close enough now that you could see his hair was streaked with slivers of silver and more grays tinged the edges of his beard, particularly under his ears behind the hinge of his jaw.
Your shoulder just barely brushed his chest as you passed, eye contact holding until you were looking back at him over your shoulder as you returned to the bar.
He stood there, watching until you’d rounded the corner and were out of sight before he moved. Pulse thrumming, you slid into your seat with his cologne still in your nose, tickling your brain.
By the end of your second glass of wine, you were more than ready to go. Frowning as you took your last sip, you gave Steve a regretful shake of your head when he asked if you wanted another.
And beside you, Dale just requested your checks as he pushed away his beer.
You didn’t bother with feeling annoyed he hadn’t offered to get even one of your drinks. To be fair, you had not been remotely good company as it was, and especially not once the guy at the far end of the bar decided to call it a night.
Your heart sank just a little as you watched him stand and pull on a creased and faded leather jacket. He then headed for the door, his eyes locking with yours one last time as he went.
Beside you, your date cleared his throat loudly to get your attention and your head jerked up as you realized Steve had placed your receipt in front of you to sign. If Dale—wait, was it Dale or Dave?—noticed your fixation, he was too polite (or too chicken) to mention anything about it.
Tabs closed and coats thrown back on, you followed Dale (Drew? Dirk?) outside. The wintry air cut through your tights and you hugged your coat a little tighter around you.
“So, which way are you headed?” you asked, rushing out the words before he could ask the same thing and float the idea of sharing a ride.
“Uptown?” he replied.
“Ahh, I’m the other way.”
A derisive snort made your head whip sideways and your eyes darted to the source, landing first on the glowing orange dot of a cigarette and then on the plush pink lips wrapped around the filter at the other end. The snide comment locked and loaded on your tongue abruptly stalled.
It was him.
He leaned against the brick facade, foot kicked up behind him, watching your whole interaction. It made your cheeks burn with indignation, but the hungry look in his dark eyes made your entire lower half throb. His lips curved like the blade of a knife into a smirk as he stubbed his cigarette out on the wall and dropped it in a planter filled with sand next to him. You stared at him, your mind sort of blank, and his eyes remained fixed on yours as he strode back inside the bar.
“Okay, well…I guess I’m gonna go,” Dale sighed, a little petulantly.
You brought your eyes back to him and plastered on your most professional smile, shaking his hand formally like this was the end of an interview for a job he was never gonna get.
“Sounds good,” you said. “Nice to meet you.”
He frowned as he turned away, but you felt relatively certain you’d navigated that fine.
Surely he hadn’t felt the date warranted any other sort of follow-up or lie about doing it again—you certainly hadn’t been on your A-game. And you shuddered to think that was his.
Once he’d gotten in his Uber, alone, and you had assured him the one you had yet to call was on its way, you tugged your phone out of your coat pocket and checked the time.
Right now, you had two choices. It was still early enough that Robin could probably come pick you up with minimal begging required.
Maybe you two could get fries and milkshakes and watch some garbage reality tv before falling asleep in a little cuddle pile on the couch.
It was the reasonable option.
The logical, safe choice.
But all your dates lately had been so painfully reasonable and logical and safe. There had been no horror stories to regale Robin with at Sunday brunch, nor any explosive sexual exploit the two of you could squeal and giggle over while curled up on your overstuffed sofa.
It was downright boring. And you were growing pretty weary of it.
You glanced down one more time at your phone, still thinking. Your thumb hovered over Robin’s contact info, needing only a single tap to dial, while your index rested on the lock button.
With a subtle flex of your hand, you clicked the screen off and headed back into the bar.
One more drink couldn’t hurt…right?
“Back so soon?”
Steve was already smiling smugly at you as you approached, his eyebrow cocked as you slid back into your original seat and returned his smile with one of your own.
“I decided I couldn’t live without another glass of that Malbec,” you sighed dreamily.
He nodded, amusement still tugging at his lips as he uncorked the bottle you’d been steadily draining all night and took down a clean glass from one of the wire racks suspended overhead. You pulled your card from your bag and held it out for him to reopen your tab, but Steve waved it off as he placed down the newly filled glass in front of you and slid it smoothly across the bar.
“It’s taken care of, honey,” he said.
“Oh, really?” you chuckled. “By who?”
Steve smirked at your incredulous tone, his muscled forearms flexing as he leaned on them.
You leaned forward as well, crossing your arms under your chest, knowing how nicely it propped up your cleavage. It made the bartender’s eyes flash as he lowered his voice to a leading hum.
“The dirtbag at the end of the bar.”
He nodded his head backwards, making those caramel-kissed locks of his flop across his brow. Your gaze followed Steve’s nod, landing on the wild head of hair and all-consuming brown eyes you’d been distracted by all night. The “dirtbag” in question was staring straight back at you, the corner of his mouth curled as he raised his rocks glass of brown liquor and tipped it to you.
“Is he really a dirtbag?” you asked him, your eyes never dropping the stranger’s gaze.
“Nah,” Steve shook his head. “Just looks like one.”
“Good to know.”
You hummed to yourself, feeling almost a little cocky as you brought your glass to your lips and took an excruciatingly slow sip. The eyes of the man across the bar watched you intently, a fire burning in them that ignited your very being.
As Steve moved on to another customer, you pulled your eyes from those of the handsome stranger and let them fall briefly to the empty stool beside you. It was about as bold as you were willing to be at the time, but it did the trick. He promptly swiveled in his seat to slide off it and you smirked to yourself as you looked down, pretending to be fascinated by the garnet liquid swirling in your glass as he came around the bar.
“That’s a great Malbec,” he said.
God, his voice.
It made your cheeks (among other things) tingle, smooth and smoky as the whiskey in his glass you could smell as he placed it down beside your wine. The scent of it mixed with his cologne that was dangerously close to becoming your new favorite aroma—something woodsy and heady with a tinge of lightness like a salty sea breeze.
“It is,” you agreed, brow arching as he took the seat beside you. “You’ve had it before?”
“Nah,” he smirked. “You made it look so good, I had Stevie give me a taste. I told him to put your next one on me.”
Both of your brows raised at that. “And how’d you know I was coming back?”
“I didn’t,” he said, taking a cheeky sip of his drink. “I just hoped.”
You felt a smile burgeoning on your lips and pulled your bottom one back with your teeth trying, unsuccessfully, to fight it. He watched it spreading, the tip of his tongue running over the edges of his teeth as he offered you his hand.
You slid your own into his, feeling the exquisite pressure of chunky silver rings pressing on your fingers as he gave them a gentle squeeze.
“Hi,” he said. “I’m Eddie.”
“Nice to meet you, Eddie,” you purred right back, offering him your name after a beat.
He repeated it once, all low and rumbly, taking his time with the sound of it in his mouth like it was a piece of chocolate melting on his tongue. Holding your hand a bit longer than necessary.
“So I’m assuming Desperate Dan out there wasn’t your boyfriend?” Eddie asked, chuckling into his next sip. The sound of it spiraled down your back, electrifying your spine.
“Nope,” you sighed heavily. “Just another drop in the Tinder bucket.”
Eddie’s dark eyes gleamed with something like mischief and he made a tsking sound with his tongue. “Well, if that’s the case, I sincerely apologize, sweetheart.”
“Oh, yeah?” You smiled at him. “What for?”
His eyes flickered again, this time taking a long moment to do a sweep up and down your body. Landing on your knees in your tights, flitting back up to your face as she shook his head.
“If someone like you has had to resort to dating apps…we’ve clearly failed as a gender.”
You actually shivered at the words, forcing your shoulders still not to show it as you propped your elbow on the bar and swiped the tips of your nails across your chin and along your jaw to play with your earring. Deepening your voice to a sultry murmur he had to lean in close to hear.
“No argument there.”
You rushed into the bathroom, flapping both your hands back and forth to fan your face and then under your arms. Safely hidden behind the door, your air of detachment could fall away and you could finally let out all the patently un-cool reactions you had been fighting the last hour.
With trembling hands, you pulled your phone out of your bag and fired off a text to Robin.
hey, I’m gonna share my location with you the rest of the night.
wait WHAT? Losera Annoyingus is getting a bang pass?
no he left…
…about an hour ago.
A blue bubble with three blinking dots immediately popped up on the thread and you imagined Robin’s thumbs actually smoking she was typing so furiously fast. But she must decide to abandon her message, because within a split second, a picture of you and her with your faces smushed together came up on the screen as she called you instead.
“Hey,” you whispered, praying your voice didn’t echo too much off the tiled walls.
“Explain,” she demanded. “Now.”
The excitement in her voice only increases your own, your cheeks still impossibly hot as you stand over the sink and fan yourself some more before another layer of sweat can form on your face.
“It’s this guy I met at the bar. He was like, making eyes at me while I was on my date and we started talking after and I just—I don’t know for sure, but it feels like he’s gonna take me home.”
“Is he hot?”
“Yes,” you breathed out a heavy, lustful sigh. “He’s so hot I wanna rip his appendix out.”
“Holy shit,” Robin whistled. “What’s he look like?”
“He’s…I don’t know,” you laughed. “He kind of looks like a Harley that came to life.”
“Alright then, you better go ride him.”
Robin’s snorted laugh makes you cover your own face with your palm. It’s searing hot now, your blood pumping furiously beneath the surface of your skin.
“Well, I have to get back out there to make that happen.”
“Go, go, go—have fun, use protection! Wait, hang on, not in that order!”
You laughed at her warning coming through faintly over the receiver as you mashed the button to end your call. With one last steadying breath, you leaned on the sink and nodded decisively.
“Okay,” you exhaled. “Let’s do this.”
Sage and sea salt filled your nose as you yanked the door open and nearly ran straight into the source of the scent. Eddie leaned against the wall across from the bathroom doors, shoulders shifting subtly as he twisted one of the large rings on his fingers.
You stood face to face now, hands hovering at your sides as you edged into the hallway.
“Sorry,” he said sheepishly, tucking his chin to his chest as he looked up at you from under long lashes. “Someone’s in the other one.”
You glanced suspiciously at the second bathroom door, seeing no light coming from underneath it. Eddie winced, still smirking adorably as you turned the knob and pushed it open to reveal it was empty on the other side. He chuckled, holding up his hands in a mock surrender.
“Fine,” he sighed. “You caught me.”
“Thought I was making a break for it?” you asked, pulling the door shut. Eddie’s tongue pushed against the inside of his cheek, his eyes roving over you slowly.
“I’d hate to think I scared you off,” he said as he kicked off the wall to stand up straight.
You crossed your arms under your chest, giving him a smile. “I don’t scare so easy.”
He nodded at that, his eyes still taking you in, scanning you like he was reading invisible stats. They lingered a few places you expected, like the curve of your hips and the swell of your chest. But then they landed on other things too, things you weren’t used to people noticing.
Things like your shoulders, or your calves in your boots, even your fucking ears.
“So…everything alright?” he asked, his voice lowering as he took a step closer.
“Yeah, I was just letting my roommate know I might be gone a while.” You held up your phone and tucked it back inside your bag with another coy smile. He chuckled.
“A while, huh?” Step.
“Yeah, you know...it’s pretty late.” Step. “Might be tough to get an Uber.”
“I wouldn’t know,” Eddie shrugged. “I live close.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
You were nose to nose now, barely a whisper of space between you, the air thick with the heat radiating off your bodies in the narrow space.
The well worn leather of his jacket sleeve creaked softly as his hand came up to rest on the wall, caging you in with his arm.
“How close?” you asked, breath shuddering as you leaned on the door for support.
“Up the street,” he sighed. “But it’s still too far.”
His warm breath ghosted over your lips as they parted, the smell of the liquor coating his tongue making you feel woozy. Or maybe that was just the effect he was having on you.
He was so close now you could hear the bristly sound his beard made as he scratched at it with blunt fingertips. He’d barely inhaled to ask if he could kiss you when you surged forward to press your lips to his—the roughness of his beard on your chin a welcome abrasion.
Scratching the itch that’s plagued you all night.
It’s a hungry, lawless sort of kiss. Quick and clashing and difficult to tell if it’s actually mean or not—like two dogs play-fighting, both trying to see how much they can get away with before light snarls and soft snaps of their jaws turn to whimpers and whines.
Eddie parried with you for control, his tongue darting in and out of your mouth as he plied you with teasing, playful kisses you fought to deepen, tugging at his shirt. He pushed off the wall and reached down to grab your wrists, pinning them over your head to keep them in place.
The thrill of him trying to restrain you only made you unravel further, straining impatiently against his grasp. Breathless, you stretched out your neck and pushed your face past all his hair to place your lips beside his ear and pant into it.
“Can we go back to—”
“You wanna come back to—”
The both of you chuckled and exhaled with relief as your words and his overlapped, and you felt a sudden rush between your legs from the way Eddie’s eyes blazed with intention.
He released his hold on your wrists and your arms fell limp at your sides. In an instant, he had your hand wrapped tightly in his and was pulling you along as he angled towards the exit.
As you hurried after him out of the hallway and across the bar, you distantly registered music playing, picking out the chugging guitar and bass riffs of some 80s dance song. From behind the bar, Steve caught Eddie’s eye and you saw him offer his friend a two finger salute as the two of you burst through the door, your departure narrated by Paul Stanley’s deep, silky croon.
And tonight, I want to lay at your feet. Cause girl, I was made for you, And girl, you were made for me…
Eddie wasn’t kidding about living close.
Your boots clacked on the sidewalk as he ushered you along under his arm, the quick pace of your walk driven both by the chill in the air and the desire to resume what you started at the bar.
“This is me,” he said, indicating a four-story brick building just a block away from West End.
His place was on the top floor. It was a large studio with high ceilings and many features similar to the bar you’d just left. Half of the space was raised like a platform with a steel wire railing running along the edge. He had his bed up there and what looked like an office, but he’d created a divider of sorts with cube shelves filled with sweats, hoodies and t-shirts.
Promptly, you recalled him telling you he owned a company that designed and distributed merch for independent artists, and how he was constantly receiving samples from suppliers.
The kitchen was simple, sleek cabinetry and stainless steel appliances without a single smudge. A massive butcher’s block with a wooden top and wire racks underneath serving as an island. And a steel rack hanging down from overhead laden with cast iron cookware.
You took a few more careful steps inside, chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath from being kissed stupid in the elevator while Eddie flipped some switches that illuminated the space with recessed lighting. Large black-paned windows revealed a view of the city and the night sky outside, some amber light from the street filtering in and casting across the oak floors.
In his living area was a massive brown leather sectional with extra-deep cushions and a chaise at both ends. It faced a plain wall with a screen you assumed went with the projector hanging down from one of the exposed beams overhead.
Every inch of your skin crackled with excitement as he came up behind you and reached around to grip the lapels of your coat and help you out of it, letting his fingertips skim your bare arms as he did. It made you shiver in spite of the warm air you could feel pumping out of the vents.
He hung up your coat next to his on a hook by the front door and you turned to face him as he sauntered back over. His gait was relaxed and casual, like he had all the time in the world.
Like he wasn’t driving you up the wall with every second you went without his mouth on yours.
“Did you want another drink?”
He gestured in the direction of a liquor cabinet, glass shelves lined with a modest array of wines and spirits, but you shook your head at the offer.
“Not particularly,” you said with a coy grin.
Reaching out and hooking a finger in his belt loop, you whirled yourself into him and slotted your mouth against his, licking into it to taste the smoky remnants of whisky there. He breathed into it deeply, his broad chest expanding with it and chuckling when he felt your hands on his belt.
“Easy there, tiger,” he teased, your lips breaking apart and taking hold of your wrists to still their efforts. “What kind of girl do you think I am?”
“Hopefully the kind that knows how to fuck.”
You smirked, the tip of your tongue flicking out between your teeth as your face veered in again. Your hips pressed with his and you began to sway back and forth, gently grinding them on him, resuming the dance you’d begun. His face came close, his hands settling on your waist.
“C’mon, honey,” he drawled. “Haven’t you heard good things come to those who wait?”
His lips trailed along the column of your neck, sending a riot of shivers down your spine causing you to release a breathy sigh.
“Sorry, what? All I heard was come.”
Eddie chuckled at that and his breath rushed across your neck as he smiled into your jugular.
“You’re funny,” he sighed. “We’ll see how funny you are when I get done with you.”
It was a miracle your knees didn’t buckle on the spot. Your eyes rolled back in your head, almost seeing the inside of your skull as his hand came up and he placed it around your throat.
“You want this?” he asked, his tone cool and precise, his eyes wandering across your face.
“Yes,” you gasped, all desperate and panting now you were so eager for him to start.
His thumb and middle finger pressed the sides of your throat, slowing the flow of blood just enough to make your head go fuzzy and your body to go just barely limp in his arms.
“Yes, what?” he growled. You drew a shuddering breath, unrestricted by his expert hold.
“Yes, I want this,” you answered. “I want you.”
Eddie took his time undressing you, softly kissing the new expanse of skin he unveiled with the removal of each piece of clothing.
He nipped lightly at your collar bones as he shed your blouse, canines catching briefly on the chain around your neck. He dragged his lips torturously slow over your stomach as he undid your skirt and it fell to the floor with a soft plop. His breath rush across your thigh as he kneeled to drag down the zippers of your boots, kissing your inseam though your tights all the way down to your ankles.
Every second was a kind of exquisite torture. Your heart hammered behind your ribs, the bones almost rattling with the force of it. And as much as you were dying to grab him by the back of the head and take over, you let yourself slip steadily under the spell of his affections.
You believed what he seemed to be whispering with his eyes in between every indelible kiss he dropped to your buzzing skin. He had you. He would take care of you. You could trust him.
And once you were totally bare in front of him, he held out his hand for you to take and he spun you in a slow circle like a ballerina in a music box, his eyes feasting on every inch of you.
If it was anyone else, you might have shied away. You might have felt some level of shame or concern about being stark naked in front of him while he was still fully clothed. You might have worried he would see something he didn’t like, some flaw or defect you preferred hidden. But the look on his face was nothing short of rapturous.
He walked you over to the couch and kissed you deeply as he removed his clothes. Showing not an ounce of the kind of care and consideration for his own as he did for yours, he stripped them off hastily and discarded them, tossing them away like they were garbage.
Your naked bodies came together in a full press, his arms curling around your form and his hands stroking your skin like he was trying to make sure not a single part of it went untouched.
At last, he sank down onto the sofa and his knees spread apart, his hard cock standing stiff and ready for you. He took your hands in his like he was going to pull you forward onto his lap, but you dropped to your knees instead, tucking your feet under your ass.
You looked up at him expectantly, your eyes darting between his face and his cock, the corners of your mouth curling upwards in a smile as your brows raised with a silent question.
“You sure?” he asked, circling his base with his thumb and forefinger to give a gentle squeeze. “I can take care of you, you know? Fuckin’ love to.”
“Don’t worry,” you said cooly, lashes fluttering as you scooted closer. “You will.”
You placed your hands on his knees and pushed them further apart so you could lean forward to kiss up the inside of his leg. Trying to give him a taste of his own slow, teasing medicine, you worked your way all the way up to the crease of his thigh and turned your head inward.
Eddie’s breath stuttered as your lips met his shaft, poking your tongue out to run it up the length. His head tipped to the side, his ear touching his shoulder to get a better view of you licking at him, halting grunts and gasps tumbling past his lips as yours puckered to kiss it more.
When you were satisfied you’d gotten him sufficiently worked up, you reached out and wrapped your hands around him fully, your fists stacked and twisting gently.
You stroked him off slow and even, your hands squeezing tight around his shaft, mixing your spit and the beginning of his spend that leaked from his tip. He watched you reverently, eyes hooded as he enjoyed your show. And looking up at him, a gooey sort of warmth filled your entire body.
You felt yourself slipping further into that sort of headspace you craved—all pliant and willing, your knees digging into his plush area rug as your legs tingled with numbness.
Your heart raced as you imagined giving yourself up to him completely.
Letting him take whatever he wanted from you.
As though he sensed it, as though he could read the desperation in your eyes, he cradled your jaw in his large hand and dotingly stroked the side of your face as he tilted his head at you.
“What is it, baby?” he cooed encouragingly. “What do you want? You can tell me.”
“Want you to use me,” you pleaded, fingers still sliding around him. “Use my mouth.”
Eddie gazed at you where you kneeled in front of him, your eyes having gone all big and round and glassy, shining with the tears you were dying for him to make spill down your cheeks.
Begging for it.
“Of course, baby, of course,” he sighed, gripping your chin and swooping in to kiss you deeply.
His firm hold gave you permission to go limp and you let your hands fall from his cock to rest on his muscled thighs, palms coasting over his tattoos and sparse leg hair. He pulled back, keeping your chin grasped in his fingers, holding your face still as he instructed you.
“You slap me three times in a row if you want to stop, okay?” he ordered in a husky rasp. “Do it for me now, so I know you can.”
You obeyed instantly, delivering three strikes to his thigh. His lips curled in a devilish grin.
“That’s it, just like that,” he hummed in approval. “What a smart girl you are, huh?”
The praise rippled down your back, his words making you tingle all over, much like your calves that were starting to go numb from sitting back on them. He reached around the back of your neck, gently guiding you into position so his cock was pointed directly at your lips.
His large hands nearly covered your entire head, holding it in his firm grasp, his fingertips digging into your scalp and causing even more shivers. Eyes locked with his, you let your mouth hang open and your tongue loll out fully, reaching almost all the way to your chin.
Eddie moaned loudly, mesmerized by the pool of spit you’d let collect in your mouth and the way it dribbled past your lips, running down your tongue and dripping onto your chest.
“Fuuuuck,” he chuckled low and rough, touching just the tip of his dick to your wet tongue. “You really want me dead, huh?”
Your eyes danced as you nodded, the motion causing your tongue to brush against his sensitive slit and spread his precum across the flat of it. A sharp gasp punched from his chest, not ready for the sensation, and his whole body shuddered with need. His eyes blazed and his nostrils flared as he gripped tighter around the back of your head and thrust fully into your mouth.
Lewd sounds filled the room as he pushed his cock past your lips, your mouth flooded with spit that poured out of you and pooled in the wiry thatch of hair at the base of his cock. You felt your body going lax and floppy as you gave yourself over to him, letting him hold your head up as you melted into little more than a puddle.
“That’s it, baby. Just let go, let me take what I need,” he drawled in that smoky voice, beginning a gentle thrust of his hips that pushed him deeper still into your mouth. “You’re doing so well…”
The salty tang of him covered your tongue as your jaw slackened to accommodate more of him, the sounds you were making coming out garbled.
“Christ, you sound so fucking sweet choking on my cock” he groaned. “What a good slut you are, huh? Giving me this mouth, letting me ruin it?”
You gagged loudly as his cock pushed in further until his tip met the back of your throat. He held the back of your head and your nose was nuzzling against the hair at his base, breathing in his thick and heady musk. Far earthier than his cologne, this was a smell that could only be him.
His eyes flitted to your hand clutching at him, your nails digging into the meat of his thigh.
But you made no move to tap out. Another tight spasm of your throat had him throwing his head back, his eyes pinching shut and his lips falling open in a desperate gasp.
“Shit, that feels so good,” he whined softly, his domineering mask slipping ever so slightly—the broken sound only making you go more feral.
Bracing yourself on his thighs, you began to push your head down to meet his thrusts, fucking your own face with his cock so hard that his grip on the back of your head was extraneous.
“Okay, okay—okay,” he grunted, chest heaving as he pulled you off him before he could blow.
His fingers held fast in your hair, squeezing it at the roots. You drew in air in great heaving breaths, panting from the effort, your tongue still hanging out of your mouth and head bobbing as you tried to chase the cock he had to drag you off of.
“You’re a greedy fucking girl, aren’t you, baby?” he chuckled, yanking your head back sharply so you were staring at the ceiling, eyes straining to look at him over the curves of your cheeks.
“Yes, sir,” you gasped back, chest still heaving.
“You want my cum that bad?” he teased lowly, pushing his face against yours and smearing the wetness of your tears across your cheeks.
“Yes, please,” you whined pitifully. “I need it.”
“Oh, you’ll get it,” he assured you, reaching down with his free hand to rub between your legs. “But only if it goes in this needy little pussy.”
Your entire body writhed as his fingers toyed with your swollen clit and dripping folds, scalp stinging where he gripped your hair with his other hand.
A pleasurable wail burst out of you as his thick fingers thrust inside your warm, wet hole and started to scissor relentlessly.
“YES, fuck—come in me. Please, please…”
More tears spilled freely down your cheeks as you begged him, drip, drip, dripping off your chin and onto your heaving chest, rolling down your naked body, leaving wet trails in their wake.
Eddie had to fight the urge to lick your clavicle.
He hauled you up onto his lap, scooting down so he could plant his feet properly on the floor. Your knees sank into the worn leather of his cushions on either side of his hips and you used all what little strength you had left to reach down and align yourself with him.
“Don’t you hold back—haah—alright?” he said, hissing softly as you sank down on his length. “I want that fucking loser from Tinder to be able to hear you from here. Understand?”
You nodded, hips beginning to slide back and forth, relishing the way his thick cock prodded at your insides and stoked your desire. Eddie let you keep control for a moment, his hands squeezing at the softness of your stomach, molding it with them. He watched you raptly, mesmerized by the undulations of your body, the way you let it writhe and rock and squirm on him until he thought you might come solely from your own movements.
A loud, exhilirated moan burst out of you as he suddenly thrust his hips upwards, eyes rolling to the back of your head as he slammed into your g-spot on the first fucking stroke—as if he could see straight through your flesh to aim for it.
The room filled with sounds even more lewd than before—the wet clap of his thighs with your ass cheeks, his balls slapping your soaking pussy, your mound squishing into his pelvis.
Eddie threw his head back, overwhelmed by the sight of every part of you bouncing so prettily on him. And as he exposed his neck, everything in the room went hazy except that thick, taught, muscled column. Sending you feeling.
You clawed at it desperately and drew hot, red streaks down it with your nails that trailed all the way to the middle of his tattooed chest.
“That’s it, baby,” he groaned. “Mark me up. Show everybody who owns me—”
He slid his hands back to grip your ass, spreading the fleshy globes wide and stretching your holes further open as he continued to slam his length inside you. He let one side go and delivered a single stinging slap that reverberated throughout your whole body.
The burn made you keen, arching your back until your chest was flush with his. He reached up to grip the back of your neck, taking your earlobe between his teeth and raking them over it.
“Now that that mouth is free, I wanna hear how good you feel,” he growled.
And if you thought you were loud before, it was nothing compared to now. The combination of his words and the perfect pace being set by his cock sent you instantly toppling over the edge, with Eddie’s own release following right behind.
In that moment, you vowed to send a fruit basket to every single one of his neighbors—an apology for making them think that a woman was getting murdered in the middle of the night two or three stories above their heads. The orgasm he brings you to makes you scream, practically sobbing as you cry out in immeasurable relief while searing hot pleasure ravages your entire body.
It’s an ascent you’ve never dreamed of reaching the peak of, the feeling spreading to the tips of every extremity, filling you with fire. It feels so good, it almost makes you sad to know you might never feel like this again. And if your brain hadn’t already turned to mush, you might have cared.
As you dwindled down from your high, you slumped forward limp and spent—your body still rippling with the effects, Eddie’s arms coming up to hold you against him as he peppered your shoulder with soft, sweet kisses.
“That’s it,” he breathed out in your ear. “That’s it, baby, just feel it…such a good girl f’me…”
He ran his fingers slowly up and down the column of your spine, creating waves of shivers waiting for your trembling to subside.
His length grew soft inside of you, but he made no move to slide you from his lap or to rush you in the slightest. He let you cling on to him, your face buried in his sweaty neck, his long hair tickling your face, losing yourself in his touch.
Slowly, your breathing grew deep and even, your racing heart slowing in your chest. Eddie turned his head and spoke to you quietly with his warm breath fanning across your cheek.
“You ready to move?” he asked.
You gave a weak nod.
Wobbling on unsteady legs, you stood and his hands quickly moved to the curve of your waist to keep you steady. He took you to the bathroom which looked more like it belonged in a spa than someone’s house, sitting you on the toilet.
From a hook hanging on the back of the door, he produced two bright white waffle weave robes, offering one to you. And as you wrapped the soft material around your shoulders, he turned on one of the faucets and held his fingers underneath it to test the temperature.
Once he’d deemed it warm enough, he took a fluffy washcloth from a little pyramid of them that were rolled up next to the sink basin. He held it under the stream, saturating the cloth and then giving it a gentle twist. You watched his hands every step of the way, mesmerized by the way his veins bulged under his skin and the muscles in his arms flexed as he wrung out the excess water.
He rubbed the warm cloth gently across your face, wiping off the residue of tears and spit and cum and what little was left of your make-up until your bare face shone in the soft lighting.
Once he had finished, he dropped the cloth into a hamper and cradled your face in his hands, his thumbs gliding easily over your slippery skin.
“So pretty,” he hummed, the words so soft you wondered if you were even meant to hear them.
From one of the drawers in the vanity, he brought out a pot of moisturizer and offered it to you with a smile. You frowned up at him, jutting out your bottom lip in a comical pout, not ready for him to stop taking care of you. It made him chuckle and a bemused smile spread across his lips as he tapped the tips of his fingers in the gel and started to smooth it over your cheeks.
“Come lay down with me?” he asked when he’d finished, head tilting back in the direction of the short set of stairs leading up to where his bed sat.
You nodded and he held out his hand to lead you out of the bathroom. You curled up on top of his dark duvet, your head sinking into the softness of his down pillow that held the faint scent of what you guessed was his tea tree oil shampoo.
The thick mattress dipped as he climbed onto it with you and draped a beige knit blanket over the both of you before he sidled up against your body.
It was…nice. More than nice. Shit, it was as close to perfect as you had felt in a long time.
The feel of his chest expanding and contracting against your back; his steady breath on the nape of your neck; the soft robe wrapped around your body and the comforting weight of the blanket on top of you. Not to mention Eddie’s arm curled securely around your waist.
Your eyes felt heavy, like your eyelashes suddenly weighed a thousand pounds, and you drifted fully into sleep, succumbing to the relief that had washed over you not twenty feet away.
When you woke, it was still dark out.
The street noise had lessened significantly and if you had to hazard a guess, it might have been close to one or two in the morning. Eddie’s place was darkened, lit only by orange street light that filtered through his windows and a half-dimmed reading light in the corner.
It was an arc lamp, suspended over a leather Eames chair where you could see that your coat and all of your previously discarded clothes were arranged in a neat little pile. But laid out at the foot of the bed right next to your feet were a pair of black fleece pants and hoodie, both about your size and emblazoned with the names of bands you didn’t recognize.
You sat up slowly, fingers hovering over the thick material as you debated. Were they for you? They looked a little big for Eddie, but maybe he had laid them out for himself? Was it a sign he was about to go to bed and you needed to get moving?
In the end, you slid out from underneath the blanket still draped over you and redressed in your clothes. After pulling your tights and skirt back on, stepping into your boots and zipping them up your calves, pulling your coat back on, you looked around the loft searching for Eddie.
From up here, you could see the bathroom door was open and the light was off…eliminating the only place he could actually be. And then your eyes fell on one of the windows that was cracked open with a short step-ladder built into the wall that had been pulled down in front of it.
You pulled your coat around you tighter the closer you got to the window and tentatively climbed the steps leading up to it. You pushed the large glass pane the rest of the way open and poked your head outside to find Eddie sitting on his terrace, resting with his back to the brick, head tipped back as he exhaled a cloud of smoke from his lips that drifted up towards the stars.
“Hey,” you said softly. His head turned at the sound and a wide smile spread across his lips.
“There she is,” he said in a gentle cheer.
You climbed through the window and a breeze carried the scent of the joint he was holding. You took a seat across from him, leaning back against the metal railing and letting your legs stretch out alongside his. He dropped his hand to rub your calf and he frowned at the realization you had redressed in your tights and boots. His brow furrowed adorably.
“Something wrong?” you asked.
He shook his head and took another drag of the joint before passing it into your waiting fingers.
“The clothes were for you,” he said. “Y’know, if you wanted something to sleep in.”
You paused, the joint just shy of touching your lips. “Like…if I was staying?”
“Would you stay?” he asked, a ribbon of smoke curling in the air as he exhaled.
Your mouth hung open, clouds of your hot breath escaping. “Oh, um…I mean, only if you—”
He cut you off with his lips, slipping his hand around the back of your neck and pulling you into a long kiss. Tiny embers scattered from the joint, being taken by the wind that blew and made the ends of Eddie’s long hair tickle the sides of your face. You pulled apart and he answered solidly.
“I want you to,” he said.
wasn't expecting this to be so long (that's what she said), but I hoped you liked it if you made it this far 🩷 love you, mean it!
#eddie munson#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson fanfiction#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson smut#eddie munson oneshot#eddie stranger things#modern!eddie munson#older!eddie munson
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Like i wish i were joking but if i were still in mississippi i would not have been able to legally ship rcg whiskey into my state
#and i wouldnt have been able to ship it to friends in tennessee either#bc they seem almost even more strict??#either way neither state allows you to just prder alcohol online#michigan liquor laws are so much more relaxed tho. thank goodness#you can actually sell liquor/wine and beer in the same stores here
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I'm trying to make a good pot roast in my crockpot, but after I take it out it gets dry. It's on "low" (whatever that means) for 8 hours. I've tried searing it before and still dry. It's submerged in plain water with some herbs and spices for that time. Am I over/undercooking it? It's a cut with low fat %, is that why?
I love you. I think you learned how to make pot roast from someone on Opposite Day, or perhaps April 1st. The only thing you got right is 'low heat for 8 hours'.
Choose a fatty cut of tough meat. Look for lots of fat marbling on a Chuck roast or Shoulder roast. Tough meat has a ton of flavor, and the fat keeps the meat from drying out. The long cook time on low heat, plus acids will make 'tough' meat into a pull-apart, melt-in-your-mouth glory.
Make sure the meat is completely thawed, NOT frozen.
Plain water and nothing else except herbs/spices is.... not what I'd do. A lot of flavor can come into the broth when you add whole carrots (minus the carrot top!) and quartered onions in there. I'm a fan of adding some big chunks of pumpkin or butternut squash and chunks of turnip as well.
I think using red wine for part of the liquid base, and adding a hearty helping of worcestershire sauce will also help the flavor and making the meat 'melty.' The acid and alcohol will draw more, and different flavors from the meat and vegetables that water alone cannot do. Makes it richer.
For my very best pot roast recipe, which had my wedding guests fuckin' clamoring to get the recipe; I cheat. I'm not ashamed of that fact. For the richest, most face-punchingly meaty tasting broth, go to an asian market (or online) and find a mushroom hot pot soup base. It'll be a thick liquid inside a bag, which you then dilute with water. Use THAT as the liquid base (remember to dilute it!), and add your wine and wocestershire sauce to it, along with those herbs & spices. Your whole face will be blown off with flavor. It's the best.
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Duolingo will send you a notification with words in the language you’re learning but it uses words you haven’t learned yet :/
#emma posts#I’m still mixing up and and or#as well as water and wine#and am still figuring out when to use the thing and thing words#I get that the message kinda explains it but I’m not good enough#and I dread learning to speak it with no experience doing so#I have some history with Spanish (not enough for a good conversation) but I have NONE with Norwegian#luckily my main goal it to know how to read and write/type Norwegian properly#I want something better than google translate when sorting through old records from before my family moved here#and Norwegian is step one#I was hoping for it to be step two but because of how much harder it is to translate English to Icelandic there are no free courses online#I was hoping to learn the hardest one first because that was also closest to the root language of all three of the ones I’m focusing on#and my amma is learning Icelandic too#but alas#it’s not meant to be#I know a lot about the history of the language#but I can’t read it#after I learn at least one of the three Nordic languages I’m focused on I’ll refresh on Spanish#my biggest issue with Spanish is remembering which gendered the is used before a word#I keep mixing up el and la
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TW: stalking, hidden cameras
The prospect of a stalker watching me in my own home through countless security cameras is objectively funny and utterly mortifying at the same time.
Like, what do you mean this guy is watching me make the greasiest grilled cheese in the frying pan with utterly way too much butter and cheese while dancing to anime bangers in my underwear—yelling as I get burnt by the sizzling butter in between singing the lyrics at the top of my lungs—every other syllable incorrect as I do not at all speak Japanese whatsoever.
What do you mean he’s watching me go through all my clothes one by one at midnight to try and put together an outfit for tomorrow, only to wear something completely different come morning—leaving a mess on the floor—which I don’t clean up before the very end of the week.
What do you mean he’s just watched me put on a full face of make-up just to go grocery shopping, only to come back a brief fifteen minutes later with a haul that consists purely of bread, milk, and eggs—muttering to himself that I forgot the toothpaste whilst watching me rage and refuse to go back out—rather wrestling with the old tube instead, calling out in victory to no one in particular once I manage to squeeze one last dosage out.
What do you mean he’s watching me binge a new anime I just discovered in one sitting—barely eating, only drinking coffee with a spoonful of cacao—only to binge-watch my favorite My Hero episodes again for the second time that month, and then rewatch the entirety of Haikyu!!
What do you mean he’s watching me drink a six-pack of beers or a whole bottle of wine on my own as I spend my day cleaning the apartment, getting distracted by all my stuff every other minute, burning through all my playlists until my speaker runs out of battery and I’m reminded that oh, it’s the middle of the night. But since my bed is full of the stuff I’ve yet to put back in its place, I make do on the couch and say good night as if speaking to him, even when I’m just saying it to the apartment.
And what do you mean he’s watching me search up the foulest shit online or watching me touch myself to the literal words of a Tumblr script.
Like, Mr. Stalker, sir, seriously? Get a life.
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