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blessedwithabadomen · 9 months ago

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in love with the mess - day seven

summary : Aubrey is going on tour and, for once, she's decided to focus on having as much fun as possible. Oli can be a little shit but he does nothing short of adore Audrey and... well, maybe Noah a little, too. Noah likes the flirting, as long as no one gets too close, emotionally. But what will happen when the three of them take it too far?

content : smut (fingering), fluff, overthinking, drinking

length : 5.8k

tags (let me know if you want to be tagged!) : @veronicaphoenix @cookiesupplier @lma1986 @jilliemiw86 @bngurngheart @lacktoesandtoddlerants @narcissisticbehavior81 @flowery-mess @shilohrosechicken @justeli6 @starvingarsyn @floatinglikeaswan @somebodyels3 @kageyasma @spikeisdaddy

a/n : I struggled with getting this chapter out but here we finally go, hope you enjoy it!! leave me a reblog or a comment if you do 🥰

•••

day seven

The day off was badly needed, for everyone. For once, pretty much everyone was actually free, with Oli only having a single phone interview and Bad Omens’ calender being completely bare of responsibilities. As soon as we got to Newcastle, the day was fair game for everyone. Unfortunately, we were all currently still stuck on the busses.

All of the crew and most of the band was either gathered downstairs or had retreated to their bunks, so when I checked the upstairs lounge at the very back of the bus, I only found Oli. He looked up from his phone when I closed the door behind me. Dressed in what looked like the most comfortable sweater known to mankind and loose sweatpants, he looked incredibly soft. He must have seen the longing in my eyes because he threw his phone further down the couch without any hesitation and opened his arms to me. Maybe it was his way of checking if we were okay. I thought we were. Well, mostly.

I climbed into his lap, facing him, briefly reminiscent of two evenings ago, letting him hug me as I buried my face in his neck. His hands easily wandered under my hoodie, finding nothing but bare skin beneath it, warmly brushing against my back, my spine, as if he could make out the tattoo there still, even without seeing it.

“I just don’t want this to change, you know?”

“I think it’s a bit late, don’t you?” I chuckled. We definitely never used to cuddle like this, touch each other like this, allow each other’s hands to go these places. I felt him exhale into my hair. “We don’t have to… We can still be the same. Just Oli and Aubrey.”

His hands wandered to my hips, caressing the flesh there, inching up.

“We can just… do whatever feels good. We don’t have to be anything. It doesn’t have to be deeper than that.”

His touch was turning feather-light, along my ribs, upwards, every fingertip leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake, leaving me to sigh in pleasure. His neck strained so he could press the tiniest kisses onto my neck.

I didn’t know who I was lying to more, him or myself. But it felt impossible to care when he was treating me like this.

“Let me apologise properly,” he whispered into my ear right as his hands found the curve of my breasts. I gasped quietly, finally lifting my head to put my mouth on his, a silent permission. When he removed his hands from the inside of my hoodie, I almost protested, but he made quick work of unzipping it and opening it just enough to get a good look. “Fucking gorgeous, doll.”

Then his mouth was on my nipple, fingers stimulating the other and I almost cried in relief of finally having him on me like this. I grasped onto the fabric of his sweater, one hand going to his neck and holding him as if I was terrified of not feeling his lips anymore, but he indulged me without complaints.

Nibbling at the flesh with his teeth, he waited until my nipple was fully hardened before switching to the other. A gentle lick was immediately followed by a vicious bite and I’d cried out before I could stop myself. Oli immediately retreated, but his hands kept kneading my breasts still.

“We’re still on the bus with everyone, love,” Oli scolded me but his smile told me he was enjoying it way too much. “I’d love to tell you to be loud, but I don’t think you want that kind of attention, do you now?”

I shook my head, quickly, brain turning to mush as he continued to touch me. The door to the rest of the bus was behind me, and minus the fact that my hoodie was unzipped, I was still fully dressed. Even if anyone were to burst in, we wouldn’t look too suspicious. Not yet, anyway.

“Think you can keep quiet for me?” Suddenly one of his hands landed on the waistband of my sweatpants. “Because I’d quite like to treat you some more.”

“Yes, please, Oli, I promise, I’ll be quiet, please,” I babbled, the words spilling out of me in desperation. He chuckled, satisfied, probably loving the way I became putty in his hands. I didn’t care. I’d been riled up since this tour had started and I’d not found a single moment to at least get myself off. He didn’t need to know but I’d be begging on my knees as long as he offered to help out with it.

Luckily, for me, he seemed to be aware of the time constraint (and the fact that we were in semi-public, technically) and took pity on me. In one swift movement, Oli’s hand vanished in my trousers and delicately traced along the line of my underwear. It was almost impossible to take, the slow teasing, the waiting. I was getting wetter with every passing second as the anticipation took hold of me.

Oli was gorgeous underneath me, eyes dark and hooded, his head dropped onto the backrest of the seat, his Adam’s apple moving with every swallow. He was easily enjoying this as much as I was. When his fingers finally brushed against my pussy through the soaking fabric of my panties, I buried my head into the side of his neck, desperate to make noises that I would only let him hear.

“Fuck, you’re a mess, doll,” he muttered, his low voice almost sending a shockwave through me. “So wet for me. You love this, don’t you? Love being teased like this, feeling my fingers all over you. Bet you want even more, right? Do you want more, Aubrey?”

“Oli, please,” I repeated, sounding even more pathetic than before as my hips started to move, trying to get any friction at all. He chuckled darkly into my ear.

“Stay quiet,” he hissed, once again, and then he was pushing my panties to the side and I almost cried out with how much need for him I felt in that moment. Then his fingers were on me, touching me in places I had only been dreaming about. His groan when he felt just how wet I was beneath his fingers was pure music to my ears.

It felt like lightning striking my body when he touched my clit, just the slightest stroke, a hint, a tease. His other hand gripped my hip to hold me in place, working against the way I wanted to move into him, get closer, get more. Then, his finger trailed down, painfully slowly, leaving me a blubbering mess as I begged for more, unable to make sense of my own words. When he pushed it into me, I had to bite down onto the fabric of his sweater to keep quiet.

“More, Oli,” I cried into his shoulder.

“Such a desperate little thing. Just put my finger in you and you already want another.” He was moving, in and out of my pussy, letting both of us hear just how wet I was in the quiet room as I kept biting back my moans. “I think you can take it. I think you can take a lot more than you think.” Without warning, he pushed another finger into me, rougher this time, making my walls squeeze around him, but so, so perfect. “I think I’m going to have fun testing your limits with you, don’t you think, doll?”

There was no option left to answer him in my brain. Not when his other hand moved from my hip and also disappeared in my panties, circling my clit, while he kept pumping his fingers into me, faster and faster and all I could do was gasp and cling onto him and shake under his treatment.

“Come for me, love, want to feel you fall apart on my fingers.”

I was practically riding him now, unable to keep my hips at bay as I needed more and more and more of his fingers inside of me, the touch on my clit getting heavier, my noises becoming louder without any way to stop them as I once again buried my head in the nape of his neck.

“Show me your face, doll. Show me how you fall apart.”

I stayed put. He didn’t get to see my face when I came. Not yet. Not now. I didn't owe him that, or an explanation.

The orgasm took me with force, leaving me trembling and moaning into him, squeezing his fingers as the ecstasy travelled through my body. I was feeling lightheaded, a floating sensation, a wet mess, my body had never been so alive. I cried his name, again and again, slowly riding it out until I tensed up as the sensations ebbed away, leaving me panting and oversensitive. Yet, when he pulled his hands away, I still felt cold and aching for his touch again.

I stayed in place for a little while longer, trying to catch my breath and make sense of the world around me again as the post-orgasmis bliss slowly lifted. Only when I was sure I could hold myself up without aid again did I move from where I had collapsed against Oli’s chest.

He looked ecstatic. Absolutely pleased with himself, almost gloating. Underneath me, where I was still sat in his lap, I could feel the way he’d grown hard. It was a tempting thought, delicious, really. After all, I’d gotten to see his cock up close before and I was dying to get it in my hands, in my mouth, in me. But he wasn’t going to get off that easily. Quite literally.

I lifted myself off him, getting my clothes back in order, zipping up my hoodie. I ignored the way I desperately needed to change my underwear.

“Good start in terms of apologising,” I grinned at him.

Then I turned around and left the room, feeling extremely pleased with myself and still tingling all over from finally getting some relief. His shouts of protests were easily ignored with a smile on my face.

•••

I found all of Bad Omens gathered in the lobby of the hotel we’d checked into. Only Nicholas had spotted me so far, giving me a welcoming smile, but not saying anything. It gave me the perfect opportunity to sneak up on Noah and pinch his sides as a way of greeting. He jumped with a tiny squeal, to the amusement of everyone around us.

“Sorry, love,” I apologised but only meant it a little. Then I turned to the rest of the band. “Mind if I steal him away for a little bit?”

My question was greeted with a chorus of not at all, please take him away from us and don’t bring him back too soon which Noah replied to with a couple of middle fingers. Still, he followed me away from them and as soon as it was just us, he gifted me the smile I wanted to see every day for the rest of my life.

“You got any plans today?” I asked, itching to touch him but unsure what the unwritten rules were about getting physically close in front of, well, everyone. I didn’t even know what he had told his bandmates. If he’d told them anything at all. He had been hanging around with me and Oli a lot. But maybe they were used to it. Maybe he could be the vanishing type sometimes.

“Not until dinner,” he grinned.

“Ever been to Forbidden Planet?”

“That sounds like a trick question somehow.”

Apparently, he was still on guard after my successful attempt at scaring him.

“It’s a retailer. They have a big store here in Newcastle. And it’ll make all your nerdiest dreams come true, promise.” I held my arm out to him, daring him to link himself in with me. “Date?”

Noah hesitated, barely visibly, but just a moment long enough for me to catch it. I scolded myself immediately. Couldn’t I have chosen literally any other way to phrase my question? Of course he wasn’t going to ignore the fact that I’d called it a date. Not when this whole thing between him and Oli and me was feeling a little bit normal again but still relied on so many unspoken things. He’d told me he was convinced he was a bad partner. I didn’t need to push him into any romantic antics.

Before I settled on a way to circumvent the situation, Noah had taken hold of himself, grabbed my arm, and looked right into my eyes, softly and honestly, and agreed. “Date.”

•••

The store was, in fact, Noah’s personal heaven. As soon as he had set eyes on it, he was like a little kid let loose in a toy store, walking the aisles at a snail’s pace and telling me all about his favourite and not-so-favourite franchises. I wasn’t going to lie, my nerdy knowledge was much more limited in comparison, but I listened and walked with him and let myself drown in the way his eyes sparkled at anything and everything. There was simply something so endearing about watching someone dive into their passions and sharing them with you, even if you didn’t understand all that much. It didn’t matter.

At some point, rather undetectedly, his hand had wandered into mine. I only noticed when he found yet another amazing collectible and tried to hand it to me and my right hand was already restricted. Suddenly, it felt like the world had stopped turning, just a little bit, just for a moment, before everything went back into hyperfocus and I took the toy from him with my left hand and didn’t catch a single word he was saying.

His hand. In mine. In public. I couldn’t grasp what was happening. I felt secure, fluttery, and nervous at the same time. He was holding onto me tightly, pulling me along. I was hoping my palms weren’t as sweaty as I feared they might be. Then his thumb started stroking mine and I just about passed away on the spot.

The moment was over much too soon. Noah let go when he found something that required both hands and I felt lost and whiny and it was embarrassing how much I had to bite my tongue so I wouldn’t beg him to put his hand back where it belonged.

Where it belonged. Was that it? It surely felt right it. My heart and the butterflies in my stomach were telling me so. Oh, I was in deep trouble.

Noah wandered away from me when he spotted the massive section of comics and mangas at the back and I left him to his own devices as he flicked through page after page before sorting some of them in a pile that I assumed he meant to buy. I went back through the section of little collectibles, trying desperately to ignore how many thoughts were still going through my head and how my hand still seemed to tingle where it had touched his.

I quickly made a little novelty purchase, stuffing it in my pockets before Noah would see, just moments before he joined me at the till with a stack full of comics that the cashier was only too happy to ring him up for. Armed with a bag full of his purchases, we left the store, slowly strolling down the street.

“You got plans tonight?” I asked, suddenly remembering him mentioning it earlier.

“Dinner with the lads. Like, everyone. Us and Bring Me. Do you want to come?”

“No,” I chuckled. “You go have your boys’ evening, I don’t need to intrude on that. Do you want to meet at the pub later though? Have a drink, a little chat, just get out for a bit?”

“Us and Oli?”

I studied Noah’s face for a second, trying to figure out if that was what he wanted or if he craved more time without him there, but I found nothing but excitement at the idea of getting together as a group again.

“Of course. Let him know at the dinner? You guys can text me when you’re done and we’ll meet up somewhere.”

He kissed the top of my head in confirmation.

•••

Being alone with my thoughts hadn’t been the greatest idea of the day. I had ordered a bit of room service, as a treat, but now I was left with nothing to do but get ready for later and ruminate about my life choices. If I’d been able to push my worries away before, spending time with Noah and him just going ahead and holding my hand had ruined all my plans of ignoring them further.

None of us had really talked about… anything. Oli had apologised for being a dick, but that had been absolutely unavoidable. His behaviour toward me hadn’t been acceptable and he knew. But the rest of it had remained unspoken. The kisses exchanged between us. The teasing. Oli and me crossing aboundary that had been in place for years now. Oli and Noah. I was sure they hadn’t discussed the night either.

What did it mean for either of us? For all of us.

I slumped back into the bed, still perfectly made by housekeeping.

In my head, I tried to start with Oli. The facts were the following: We’d been friends for a decade. I’d been crushing on him for probably just as long. Nothing had ever happened prior to this tour. Now he was flirty, pushing my limits, teasing me. I’d seen his cock (and fuck what a gorgeous cock that was). We’d kissed. He’d fingered me. But also: He was scared of intimacy. His last girlfriend had labelled him ‘emotionally unavailable’. He had tried to flee in the middle of the night. He didn’t talk about his feelings because ignoring them and lashing out was easier.

If only I had an idea what his intentions were. Or if he even knew himself. Because I wanted more of him, I wanted him in my life and in my bed, and even if I wasn’t quite sure in which capacity, I was aware that my feelings were making it harder and harder to bear the thought of losing him.

Noah. I’d only known him for a short while, but it already felt like a lifetime. There was so much I still had to learn about him but I was willing to spend whatever time necessary devoted to it. I wanted to know it all. Which was a problem considering he was also someone who kept to himself when it came to his thoughts. He’d shared little bits, but I could see there was so much more simmering under the surface. I knew he was scared of getting close to someone again. That accusations of being a bad boyfriend still plagued him. But then he kissed me and he held my hand and he made my heart flutter and that was pretty fucked up.

Was Noah someone who would sleep around? Get his kick, get his rebound from whatever he was or wasn’t over yet? It all felt so much more serious, but then he withdrew and I couldn’t quite tell anymore.

But what did I even want from him? I wanted to be close to him, yes. And I loved spending time with him. But where was this supposed to go?

And then there was this thing between the two of them on top of it. Oli constantly flirting with Noah. Noah blushing at everything. Oli and Noah kissing. Did any of us know what we were doing? Were any of us ever going to talk about it? Or would we just keep going, digging ourselves deeper into what we had gotten caught up in, until it swallowed us whole and spat us out, leaving us to come out on the other side better than ever or cut to the bone, shattered and ruined, with no point of return.

The latter was a nightmare scenario. And one I definitely didn’t want to experience. I was going to talk to them, tonight, I decided. Get whatever clarity we were willing to give each other. Whatever clarity we were able to give each other.

My eyes fell on my open suitcase, pieces of clothing spilling out.

Yes. I was going to talk to them. And I was going to look fabulous doing it.

•••

By the time Oli texted the groupchat with the name of a pub and an order for me to be there in 15, I had just finished applying my liquid lipstick. The red colour looked devilish on my mouth, in the very best way. I hadn’t bothered with the idea of eyeliner, convinced that my nerves would only cause me to mess it up completely.

Checking my outfit in the mirror one more time, I gave myself a nod of approval. The black velvet dress ended just above my knees where I showed just a little bit of flesh clad in see through tights before my heeled boots covered most of my calves. It was ever so slightly overdressed for drinks at the pub but it would serve its purpose.

I decided to walk, wrapped up tightly in my coat, to get some fresh air in the January cold and try to sort my head, but I arrived before I knew it and as soon as I had found the two of them sitting at a booth in the farthest corner from everyone else, I knew there was no point. I was going to have to wing it. Impossible to stick to any kind of plan as soon as I looked at them.

Both of them looked ridiculously handsome, relaxed from the day off, as if they didn't have a worry in the world. Noah was blushing slightly, again, but that could be the light, I concluded. They stared at me expectantly, Oli giving a low wolf whistle, Noah’s smirk more than self-serving, and I realised I had to decide where to go sit - they were on opposite benches, a table between them and questioning of who I would choose.

Somehow, this felt like more than just a seating choice and I didn't like it at all.

I realised that I was standing around looking as lost as I felt and ended up sliding in next to Oli.

“Guess I'm the favourite,” he grinned. Had he and Noah discussed this before?

“Maybe I just wanted a better view of Noah,” I bit back, causing Oli to gasp in mock offence as Noah grinned happily.

Suddenly, Noah's smile vanished and now he was definitely blushing. I felt some movement next to me from Oli, saw him shoot Noah a dangerous smirk. When it clicked, I was so fast in leaning down and putting my head under the table that I managed to catch him in the act. Not only had Oli toed his boot off, his foot was against Noah's knees, seemingly trying to push them apart. When I tried to come back up, I bumped into the underside of the table hard enough to make the drinks they had already gathered shake.

“That's what you get for being a nosy bitch,” Oli lectured, but his hand was already at my head carefully feeling for an emerging bump. “You're a danger to yourself, you know that?”

“Not my fault you're horny again when I just wanted to talk to both of you,” I grumbled, pushing his hand away and rubbing the sore spot on my head. I really needed to take better care of it. That, and my heart.

“Is that why you came dressed like that?” Noah asked. I feared Oli was being a bad influence on him - he was growing more cheeky, at least when it came to me. I wasn't complaining though.

“Well, I thought I might still give you something to look at while I hold a monologue no one wants to hear.”

It was enough to sober up both of them immediately. My heart was beating a little too hard and I felt like suddenly I had no idea what I was going to say anymore. Quickly grabbing Oli’s glass, I downed the rest of his beer as if it would make any difference on such notice, but I could always pretend.

With another deep breath, I decided to just go for it and see what would come out of my mouth.

“I don’t want a day like yesterday ever again. I don’t want to panic about what I’ve done when all I did was follow my instincts of what felt right in the situation and both of you willingly participated and we still all felt like shit the next day because we never discussed boundaries and I don’t want anyone to lash out and I don’t want anyone to withdraw and I don’t want to get another headache trying to solve a puzzle that refuses to cooperate.” Oli and Noah both looked like deer that I’d just shot arrows at, frozen in place and just that little bit ashamed. “I know none us meant to hurt each other but we did and… I guess I just…”

I was losing my train of thought I knew it, walking the ever-thinning line between trying to speak my mind and still protecting myself and my feelings. I didn’t want to say too much, I didn’t want to corner anyone. I didn’t even know what I wanted myself, so I hid myself away by asking them instead.

“I guess I just wanted to know where we stand so none of us… none of us get hurt again.”

Noah was the first one who spoke up, staring intently at the contents of his glass as he talked. “I don’t think I have the capacity to commit to anything at the moment. I know my last relationship has been over for more than a year but I’m me and that’s what ruined it all last time and I don’t want to subject that to anyone.” Oli almost started to protest next to me, obviously not agreeing with Noah’s words, but my hand on his thigh calmed him down immediately. “I like being with you. And I like having fun with you. If we can agree on that.”

I wanted to tell him no. I wanted to tell him he didn’t get to hold my hand and care for me and be so sweet and then ask of me not to demand more. I wanted to push back on everything he had said, tell him that it was all bullshit and that he could be capable of so much more and did he really think we couldn’t see he wanted that?

But I didn’t.

Because I was a coward and I was selfish and I didn’t want to think about what all of this could mean for future me. I simply wanted Noah in any way he would allow me to have him, I’d take the crumbs if it was all on offer, even if it hurt. Because it was still better than not getting to have him at all, having to refrain from touching him, from kissing him. I simply wasn’t sure I could do it.

Oli coughed next to me. How long had we been silent after Noah’s words?

“Well, you know me,” Oli said in what I assumed was supposed to be a joking tone of voice. “Sucks as a boyfriend but always up for some fun.”

He bumped his knee into mine and then apparently kicked his foot against Noah’s, who gave him a bit of smile, but still seemed a little unsettled. Maybe because he’d just bared a bit of his soul, maybe because he was still unsure of how this would continue.

I put him out of his misery. Him and Oli both, probably. Grabbing one of Oli’s hands on the table and the reaching for Noah’s as well, who only just managed to pry it away from his cold glass, sending a shiver down my spine at the difference of temperature, I hoped I would seem genuine.

“Perfect,” I lied. “A bit of fun it is.”

•••

Noah wrapped me up in his arms as the three of us walked back to the hotel and I was torn between wanting to push him away because this was not the definition of fun we had agreed on and melting further into his embrace until it made it almost impossible to move just to have him close. Still, I allowed it.

We didn’t speak until we got back and then we ended up awkwardly lingering in the hallway in front of my room, as if all of us had an idea of what we wanted to do but none of us wanted to say it out loud.

“Do you want to come in for a moment? I have a present and- not like that, Oli, stop smirking. It’s stupid, it’s just something I picked up earlier today.”

They followed be into my room eagerly, even as I protested again that it was an actual present and not me in lingerie. It seemed to finally convince them when I started rummaging through my bag. A pair of hands was at my shoulders, shrugging my coat off me, and when I turned around and watched Noah put it on the coat rack next to theirs, their shoes taken off and tidily put underneath, my heart ached a bit for how domestic this scene was.

“This is pretty silly,” I admitted as I grabbed what I was looking for and sat down on the foot of the bed. “It's just because I overheard someone of the crew jokingly call us the Powerpuff Girls the other day and then I saw these keychain earlier and…”

I handed both of them their respective gifts, watching as their faces changed from confusion to utter amusement, both of them studying their new keychains.

“Buttercup,” Oli read out loud. “Personality ingredient: spice. Loves to get dirty, fights hard and plays rough. Does not plan and is all action.”

Noah had been trying desperately to hold in his laughter but towards the end of the description, both of us were a giggling mess.

“Yeah, you're laughing!” Oli complained. “Let's see what yours says!”

“Bubbles,” Noah announced when he had mostly gotten his voice under control. Oli barked out a laugh. “Personality ingredient: sugar. Seen as very kind and sweet but is also capable of extreme rage and can fight monsters just as well as her sisters can.”

Oli was still snickering to himself when NoahI grabbed onto the keychain I still had in my hand, eyes flying towards the description label. “Blossom. Personality ingredient: everything nice. Most level-headed and composed member of the group. Strong and determined. Exceptional leader, master strategist, apt planner.”

“Is that what you are?” Oli teased good-naturedly. “A strategist playing us like pawns?”

He didn't give me the chance to protest before he had pushed me back, climbing onto my now lying frame, a dangerous glint in his eye as he dragged me upwards, further onto the bed.

“Noo, not my boots on the blanket!”

Noah's hands were on my calves, carefully pulling down the zipper, taking the boots off, all the while caressing the flesh through the thin tights covering it. I was taken aback and thrown for a loop at the insane difference between Noah's soft hands and Oli's dominating nature.

“See?” I told Oli. “This is why you're spice and he's sugar!”

“And Miss ‘Everything Nice’ likes to have a bit of both, doesn't she?”

He wanted to kiss me, badly, I could see it on his eyes and in the way they flickered down to my lips, but he wasn't going to get away with having the upper hand again. With a rough push, I had turned us around, Oli now on his back as I climbed onto his middle. I knew fully well I had only managed this through the element of surprise - Oli would overpower me easily if he tried. Turning around a little, I waved Noah closer, who willingly climbed onto the mattress next to us.

So, instead of giving Oli what he wanted, I pulled Noah in for a searing kiss, all my anger about our situation, about him being the sweetest person that constantly led me to believe there could be more pouring into every single one of my movements as I buried my hands in his hair. Oli groaned in frustration but didn’t try to intervene. Not even when one of Noah’s hands trailed down my body, feeling along my neck, my breasts, my stomach, and ended on Oli’s. I let myself enjoy Noah’s lips for a moment longer, my whole being constantly craving him. When I finally pulled back for a breather, I saw that his hand was lazily playing with Oli’s shirt.

I grasped onto the fabric as well, roughly pulling him up into a sitting position. Noah’s hand fellt into Oli’s lap. He didn’t do anything, but he didn’t move it away either. I quickly attached my lips to Oli, who sighed into the kiss with a softness I hadn’t expected. It made me slow down, take more care of what I was doing and where my hands were, stroking his chest and ignoring how lovely it felt.

I let him go when I wasn’t sure my heart would take it anymore. When I slid off his lap, I made sure to shuffle closer to Noah.

“Kiss him,” I whispered in his ear. “Kiss him like you mean it.”

Noah hesitated for a moment. I figured that Oli had taken the lead last time, simply taking what he wanted the way he usually did, and there had been a significant amount of alcohol involved. Now all of us were mostly sober. It all seemed that little bit more serious.

Still. Noah leaned in, one hand remaining in Oli’s lap as if forgotten about, the other gently cradling Oli’s neck. Oli looked… ethereal. Completely lost in the sensation, even though Noah had barely done anything. His mouth was falling open, ever so slightly, his eyes darkening. It felt sinful to watch. Then Noah’s lips were on his and both of them sighed into the kiss as if it was the first time. They looked divine together. No teasing, no battle of dominance, no jokes. Just pure…

Pure what? I wasn’t so sure. I wasn’t sure if it mattered either. All I knew was that sugar, spice and everything nice were bound to wreck my heart and I would take it all.

#Noah Sebastian fic #Noah Sebastian #Oli Sykes fic #Oli Sykes #Noah Sebastian x reader #Oli Sykes x reader #in love with the mess

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lydiablackblade · 7 months ago

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So, my friends convinced me it's a good idea, I'm still not sure tho...

Here is my etsy where you can buy the Daddy Michael (Aziraphale) and Uncle David (Crowley) dolls

lydiablackblade.etsy.com

patterns can be found here

#good omens #my shop #etsyshop #crowley #azirpahale #good omens dolls #good omens felt dolls #uncle david #daddy michael

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trancylovecraft · 1 year ago

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(KNY) YANDERE PLATONIC! KOKUSHIBO x SISTER READER: You, Shibou. I, Kokoro (CHAPTER THREE)

Previous Chapter ☆♡☆ Masterlist ☆♡☆ Next Chapter

AO3 link

CHAPTER THREE: "Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, jump now. You are absent of cause or excuse. So self-indulgent and self-referential, No audience could ever want you"

Aomori is called one of the snowiest places in the world, Often having a twenty two foot snowfall every year.

Snow can represent a lot of things such as youth or innocence but more often than not symbolises death, Snow being often considered an omen of such in some cultures.

Winds rushed and hit against the girls face like the aftermath of a levelled dam, Pieces of snow slamming into her face as she travelled through the blizzard. Tree's hit against each other in the wind, Fighting and bashing into the other within the forest.

Another nightmare, Just like the one last night. [F/N] sighed through her shaky jaw, Letting cold mist blow out into the hailing gale.

Forward, Place. It felt like the thick layer of snow she trudged in was trying to pull her down and swallow her whole, Clinging onto her foot as she put it down once again.

[F/N] wondered how far she'd get this time, How far she would get until her knees gave up on her and signal her end. Maybe she'd find an exit this time, A way to stop the dream entirely.

As she placed another foot however, Her knees buckled making her topple over into the snow.

She hit the white with a thud, Imbedding and enveloping her entire body into the cold freezing slush.

[F/N] cried out. No matter how many times she hit the ground it never got any less painful, It never stopped the frostbite sinking into her skin and reaching her organs.

She now laid in the snow unmoving, She knew it was useless to try and escape, The snow wouldn't let her go no matter how much she might of tried.

[F/N] closed her eyes, Waiting for the darkness to fade in fro-

"GET OUT!"

[F/N] flinched, A voice ringing throughout the clearing she was in. But that was impossible, The dreams never strayed from their pa-

"GET OUT, [F/N]! YOU NEED TO RUN!"

She opened her eyes, So wide that they were almost bulging out of their sockets.

With great effort she lifted her head, Pointing it in the direction of the voice. From beyond the treeline, Shrouded by the snow's mist, Was a dark figure.

"WE CAN'T STAY HERE, WE NEED TO RUN" It screamed, It's voice shrill and hoarse like it hadn't drunken in years. [F/N] tried to squint her eyes and get a better look, Heart racing at the new development.

"DON'T LET HIM CATCH US, [F/N]. DON'T LET HIM FIND US!" The figure hollered once more and suddenly the mist cleared away, Blowing off with the wind. [F/N] focused her eyes once more, Finally getting a good look at the figure.

[F/N] felt her heartbeat stutter and stop.

It was her.

A copy of [F/N] stood within the treeline. She stood in a fighting stance like she was preparing for impact, Hair and haori whipping around in the blizzard. Her face was wild and panicked.. She was terrified.

She was an exact replica, It was her in every physical way.. Except two.

The first was the markings on her face. Ones similar to the ones she'd see on her mask decorated the pained expression on her like a porcelain doll.

In the middle of her chest was a large stab wound, Blood still hot trickling out of it and oozing down to stain her kimono. [F/N] couldn't take her eyes off of it, Like a hypnotists watch swinging back and forth she felt like she was in a trance.

"WE CAN'T LET HIM CATCH US, HE'S NOT THE SAME. WE NEED TO RUN OR ELSE WE'LL NEVER GET AWAY, PLEASE [F/N] LISTEN TO US!" Her copy cried, Sobbing and breaking down now like a young child.

"W-Who.. Who is he..?" [F/N] tried to ask but it only came out as a strained whisper.

However that question was already answered by the shadow looming over her. [F/N] snapped her head up and came into view with the man in the purple kimono, Tall figure hanging over her.

She could see his face now. His face, His damn face..

[F/N] opened her mouth and screamed.

Six golden eyes pierced her, Six sharp bloodshot pupils honing in on her fallen form, All looking down at her like she was a piece of meat to consume. [F/N] tried to get away, She tried moving out from under the snow but it was useless.

His mouth was open to reveal a row of sharp teeth lain out like a collection of knives, Vampiric canines ready to lunge and gnaw into her arm as his own reached out to her, Trying to grasp whatever he could of her.

[F/N] screamed out for help as he tugged on her arm, Digging his two canines into her forearm. Blood burst out from the wound, Splattering all over her arm and his face as he bit into her muscle.

She cried hard, Red was everywhere as she felt him tug his head back. A sick ripping sound ech-

"[F/N]-SAMA!"

[F/N] shot up from her futon with a yelp, Waking up with a cold sweat dripping down her face. She was breathing like she ran a marathon and needed to grip the frame of the futon to steady her shaking.

"..[F/N]-sama? Are you alright?" [F/N] looked up to the doorway to see one of the handmaidens shuffling around awkwardly, Seemingly concerned.

[F/N] inhaled and exhaled, Trying to recollect her breath and thoughts as she tried to find a response amongst her scattered brain.

"..Another nightmare.. I apologise if I woke you up with any noise.." [F/N] said, Wiping off the excess sweat.

The handmaiden stopped, Then slowly nodded.

"I see.. You didn't disturb anyone if that's any consolation. I came because I we have a few more visitors to the shrine and I thought it would be of importance to alert you.." The girl who [F/N] recognised as Seijun, An older handmaiden, explained to her.

[F/N] sighed.

"Yes.. Alright. Go on." She said, Dusting off the stray hairs on her.

"Okay.. Well first of all two more slayers have decided to reside here for the time being along with Kamado Tanjiro and Nezuko, Himejima Gyomei and his tsuguko's. Their names are Hashibira Inosuke and Agatsuma Zenitsu, Both of Tsuchinoto ranking." Seijun explained, A cordial tone in her voice.

"..Really? More slayers..?" [F/N] groaned lightly

Seijun tilted her head lightly to which [F/N] noticed

"No. No..! Don't get me wrong, It's fine if they want to stay here I've just not been in the mood lately to deal with that sort of stuff right now.. Cause of, You know..?" [F/N] said, Adding the question at the end to gauge if she was aware of her other identity.

Seijun nodded.

"Yes, Your 'retirement'." She confirmed [F/N]'s suspicion. "I can bring you some tea to soothe your nightmare if that would please you, [F/N]-sama" Seijun offered.

[F/N] hummed.

"..That would be great, Thank you Seijun. But I would prefer if you could bring it to the desk in the library, I'll be heading there soon." [F/N] said, Swinging her legs over the side of her futon to get up.

Seijun nodded.

"I can do that, Do you need anything else from me?" She asked.

"No, I'm fine for now. Thank you, Seijun, You're dismissed.." [F/N] said, Smiling gently.

Seijun smiled back and bowed lowly before leaving the room, Closing the door behind her lightly with a click.

Then once again [F/N] was left alone to her own company, The silence so loud it felt like it was draining the life out of her.

She sighed before pushing herself up off the bed, Rubbing whatever sleep she had left in her eyes she made her way over to the shoji windows and pulled them open to let in the days light.

"Hm..?" [F/N] hummed. While the light had came in she had realised that it wasn't morning at all, It was in fact late evening when the sun was setting over the faraway mountaintops. Casting a dark shadow in the opposite direction.

[F/N] groaned as she felt the light breeze hit her face from the way in, She had only gotten at most two hours of sleep. It was going to be a nightmare on its own to go back to sleep.

The nightmare. [F/N] shivered both from the thought and the cold hitting her skin, Another reminder of what happened. The meaning of her vision evaded her, For months it had continued on and on without change. So why now did it deviate? Especially in the way it did.

"GET OUT, [F/N]! YOU NEED TO RUN!"

Her doubles words echoed around in her skull like a disturbed bat in a cavern. The wild inhuman look in her eyes appeared every time [F/N] shut her own, A haunting apparition. But what disturbed her the most was the man- No, It was a demon.

It had to be. [F/N] couldn't mistake those eyes for a second, All six of them jabbing into her while his maws ripped into her flesh, Tearing away the bloody meat from her bones and digging in like a pouncing lion to a zebras hind.

Her fingers twitched, Itching to get away from the imaginary threat.

She shut the window doors a little quicker than she should of, Trying to focus on her breathing to pacify her racing heart. It was fine, It was just a dream, Yet it felt so real.. It was just a dream right?

Even if it was just a dream, This wasn't something she could ignore. Something inside her resonated, Something screaming at her not to let this go, Telling her to run.

[F/N] decided she'd go down and pray at the Haiden later, After she had finished what she meant to do and consult Inari on what this meant.

Another throb came from within her chest once she took another breath in, Great. The pain in her chest hadn't subsided. Remembering the position of the sun and estimating the mountain height, Maika must not be back. It takes a lot of time to descend the mountain and get to the village, Especially in winter.

[F/N] coughed out another block in her chest with an ache, Yet decided to suffer through.

She moved quickly over to the closet and got ready. Slipping off her nightwear into puddle in the ground she hastily fastened over the obi on her kimono and tying it into a neat bow at the back, Her dragon blue haori hanging off her shoulders completing the outfit.

[F/N] finished it off by slipping on her blocked okobo sandals, Of which added a good few extra inches to her height.

She checked her form in the mirror, Running over every careful choice in outfit before deciding it was presentable enough.

With that she went over to the door and swung it open, Moving out down into the hallway.

Her sandals clacked against the wooden floorboards echoing out down the passage, As she moved she nodded and greeted several Kakushi, Quick hello's and how are yous as she went by. Small talk.

As the sun slowly set the Kakushi got more and more frequent.

Activity in the base starting to resurrect from the night before as she made her way through winding hallways, Passing tapestry after tapestry and doing the exact same over and over again.

Nearly at the library she turned a corner once more, Head turned away as she said hello before her body slammed into another.

Stumbling back like a new-born fawn she tried to catch her balance, The surprise of the connection dazing her.

"Ah! Apologies, I wasn't watching where I.." [F/N] trailed off, Finally looking up at the person she bumped into with a wide eyed stare.

"Ngh.. You were going, I know" The boy in front of her finished. He was young, Only around fourteen years old and an inch smaller than [F/N] herself.

"I.. Uhm.." [F/N] stuttered looking down at him. His unruly fluffy hair that was tied into small braid, His wide owl-looking eyes and face full of freckles. [F/N] recognised him, The one person she dreaded the most to run into.

She felt her chest throb, But not from her ailment.

"Ne.. Do you have anything to say or.. are you just gonna stand there..?" He drawled slightly, A slightly bothered yet innocent tone in his voice. [F/N]'s eyes darted all over him, examining every point of him before she realised his slayer uniform's top button was slightly undone.

"I.. You're top button is undone, Here let me.." [F/N] exclaimed, Reaching for his top collar before he backed away on an instinct.

"Ngh.. Please, Do not touch me. The feeling of most things disturb me greatly.." He said rather bluntly, Making small noises in between sentances. [F/N] bowed rather quickly in response.

"A-Apologies! I'll keep that in mind if we ever meet again.." [F/N] chuckled, Trying and failing to hide the awkwardness tinting her voice. The boy in front of her didn't particularly care though, Only staring back at her.

"..Ne, I am rather sure we will.. You are the head shrine-maiden and I expect my master will be wanting to greet you soon.." He spoke in a monotone lilt.

"Your master.. Right, Himejima-san. You are one of his Tsuguko.. Your memory is rather good.." [F/N] sighed.

"Yes, It is. Thank you." He replied.

The two stood in silence, Staring back into one and other. [F/N] watching the boy carefully, Like he was a explosive she was about to defuse while he looked back at her without a single care in the world.

"Ne.. Bye then.." He broke the silence before moving around her, Trailing off down the hallway.

"Wait, Hold on!" [F/N] exclaimed, Turning around to him.

He stopped in his tracks and lazily gazed back at her, Tilting a brow.

"Do.. you know my name?" [F/N] asked through a thick tone of hesitation in her voice. Though she was frowning her eyes glinted with a shine, Like she was expecting something great just out of her grasp.

He blinked, Only once.

"No. I was never informed."

[F/N] felt the light in her eyes extinguish, The burning embers of hope being put out by his single flow of words.

"Ah.. I.. I see.." She mumbled "..My name is [F/N].. If it means anything." She added on once more, Bowing down in respect.

He only gazed back at her and nodded curtly.

"Ngh.. I'll remember it.. Since its respectful.. I'll give you mine in return.. My name is Shizuko Himejima" Shizuko respectfully replied, lowering his head once more to her own.

And with that, He was off. [F/N] didn't try to stop him again, Only watched as he walked off down the now empty hallway. [F/N] pleaded to herself, Begging that he'd turn back and say something.

But he didn't look back, And soon enough he was gone.

☆♡☆

Snow danced lightly in the wind like swaying ribbons in gentle breeze. Maika slowly walked through the light layer of snow covering the ground as she searched for a market stall, A Kakushi trailing a few feet behind her.

The village was a few miles away from the shrine, Not too far yet enough distance as to keep it private from the residents who resided here.

Maika tugged her thick fashioned haori over her uniform a little tighter, The cold kept away by the warmth it brought her. She wondered how long it had been since she had left the shrine and descended the mountain.

She needed to get back soon, It was just about night-time and she didn't want to stay out long in case of a demon attack. Not to mention getting the medicine for [F/N]. Even if she was a new shrine-maiden it felt as if she needed to make up for her cowering out on being a slayer.

Getting the medicine for her boss was the least she could do to help out, If only a little bit anyways.

"It seems like they're selling herbs over there, Heihachiro-san." The Kakushi called out from behind her, Casually pointing out a rather crowded stall from within the street.

Maika gasped

"Ah! G-Great eye!" She exclaimed. Despite her chattering jaw, The soft smile gracing her face never left as she finally found what she was looking for.

"It looks rather crowded though.. Maybe we can find another stall the other way?" The Kakushi suggested, Eyeing the crowd hesitantly. Maika shook her head dismissively

"No, No! We're already here.. Come on, Lets go!" Maika didn't wait for a response as she was already off, Leaving the Kakushi back behind her.

"Wait up!" The Kakushi called out. Running after her as she finally reached the back of the small crowd, Where she tried to go on her tip toes to peer over the crowd.

Maika hummed, Trying to find a way through the crowd without disturbing anyone.

The Kakushi finally caught up to her and unlike Maika, Didn't particularly care about the crowd as he started pushing through them, Maika's arm in tow.

"Ah! S-Sorry.. Apologies! Uhm.." Maika stuttered, Trying to apologise to the disturbed crowd for her peer's ignorance as she was pulled along by the arm towards the front.

"Excuse me, Sorry. But we need these herbs here, Do you have them? It's for the shrine a little bit up north so please understand the importance." The Kakushi stated, Letting go of Maika's forearm and slamming his hands on the market desk.

"I-If you could sell us them, That is.." Maika added on.

The old merchant looked back at him, A little annoyed from the intrusion but when the shrine was mentioned his face had brightened.

"Ah right, That old 'Okami' shrine.. Heard you lot exported a lot from here.." The merchant said, Lazily rubbing his chin in thought.

"Yes, We do. Now can you please sell us what we need?" The Kakushi's exasperated breaths shown in the winter air, Quickly pointing at a heap of turmeric impatient to get back to the warmth of the shrine.

The merchant chuckled lightly.

"I suppose I could.. But it would cost you more" He said.

"What?!" The kakushi exclaimed.

"Yep, You type's tend to have a little extra cash on ya' and seeing as you just interrupted my business you wouldn't mind paying a lil' more for it?" The merchant said, Gesturing around to the crowd surrounding the two.

"No way! The price here says 1702 yen for a few clovers turmeric and that's what I'm gonna pay." The Kakushi argued, Pulling out a good few notes of roughly 1702 yen and holding out for the merchant to take.

Instead, He shook his head.

"Going to need at least 3800 yen for it." He said adamantly, Folding his arms over his chest.

"3800?! You've gotta be kidding me..!" The Kakushi exclaimed. But Maika couldn't hear the rest of the argument as she slowly backed away from the crowd, All viewing the ongoing spat like a dog on dog fight.

Maika stumbled out of the crowd, She didn't want to be apart of this. Maybe she should of listened to the Kakushi when he said to go to another stall, The seller here seemed rather.. Unpleasant.

By now the late evening had turned into an early night, Stars already starting to show themselves over the valley the village sat in.

She backed up further into her heavy haori, Asking why she ever decided to work in such an unbearably cold environment.

The argument by the seller stand had started to ironically heat up, Making the majority of the crowd sigh and give up trying to get anything and just go home to enjoy their slipping state of consciousness.

As several people walked past her out into the rest of the village she breathed in, Trying to puff up her chest and build the confidence to step into end the fight.

Maika put her foot forward but the snow she had been expecting to hit never came, Instead it was the feeling of a cold palm wrapping around her wrist and yanking her back.

"AH-" Her yell was quickly silenced by another hand slamming over her mouth.

"If you wanna keep your pathetic little life then you're going to shut the hell up, You hear?" Her assailant hissed lowly into her ear from behind, His voice boyish and full of sadistic joy as his inhuman strength held Maika in place.

She flailed around in the mans arms letting out muffled cries as she felt his claws digging into her skin. His presence was unmistakable.

This was a demon, She was being held hostage by a demon.

She wailed at the realisation. Tears already started to fall down from her eyes, Especially once the demon trailed a talon along her bottom eyelid, Lightly digging in as she squealed about.

"That includes struggling, Hold still!" He laughed akin to a young hyena, High pitched laughs lacing every crack in his voice like he was one too.

Maika instantly stilled in his hold at the drop of his command, Her breathing becoming ragged as if all the oxygen in the world was taken away from her. Who was he? If he was a demon why didn't he already bite into her and tear her limbs apart like his nature would suggest?

"Now here is how this is gonna go.. You're with that Kakushi over there right?" He questioned. Feeling the eyes burn into the back of her head she nodded feverishly in hopes of pleasing him.

"Good! Then you must be with the slayers then…" His sentence was cut off by another burst of manic laughter, Making Maika yelp "This is great..! Only I could've got such a good catch.." He chittered to himself.

Maika felt her heart stop, He was fishing for information. Her breathing picked up, Was he going to torture her? Kill her? She couldn't be here, She couldn't believe it. There was no way.

Yet the feeling of claws circling her neck said otherwise.

"P-Please.." She whispered out through his hand, Voice pleading, Begging to be let go. She watched the Kakushi from the alleyway. It seemed like he had gotten the turmeric and had realised her absence, Calling out her name and looking around.

"Don't make a sound" He threatened.

No.. Maika's stare burned into the Kakushi, To peer into the alleyway, Begging to Inari for him to notice her state and get help.

But he never looked her way, Lightly stumbling in another direction.

She felt her hope shatter into a thousand pieces, He couldn't see her, Not from the alleyway. Maika knew that even if she complied with the demon- No. This monster's demands then he wouldn't let her go, She'd make for a quick meal.

Maika would be forgotten. What had she even done in life? Only finally pass final selection just to cower out and reserve herself to a shrine, If she died here, Nothing would change. Would anyone even mourn?

His claws pressed further into her neck, He'd kill her. He'd kill her no matter what she said.

Maika took a deep breath in. If that was the case, Then she knew that she had to at least try, To try and live another day.

She suddenly unsheathed her Kaiken from her hakama trousers.

Kaigaku didn't even have time to react as it punctured his neck.

"Ack!" He choked out, A spray of blood erupting from his neck as the maiden slipped from his grasp in the split moment he let go.

"OVER HERE!" Maika screamed out as she dashed into the wide open street. The kakushi turned around to see her running frantically towards him.

"Gr.. Ah!" Kaigaku hissed as he grabbed the Kaiken, Yanking it out of his neck.

"Demon attack, There's a demon! We've gotta go, NOW!" Maika yelled at the Kakushi, Who stood their wide eyed. Grabbing him by the wrist they both started running down the rocky pathway.

"You bitch!" Kaigaku yelled after her, Stepping out into the moonlight of the pathway and watching them go.

Maika kept running through the empty streets, The Kakushi quickly in tow. She didn't know how powerful this demon was as she didn't get a good look at it, She wouldn't get one now, She couldn't bare to look back at it.

"We need to hurry, Get back to the shrine and alert a slay-"

In a flash of black lightning Maika tumbled down to the floor, The snow barely cushioning her fall as she yelled out in pain, A skin-deep sword slash cutting open the back of her kosobe.

"Heihachiro-san!" The Kakushi called out, Stopping only a few metres away as he looked out at the scene.

Kaigaku stood over her, His sword drawn as he pressed a foot down into the peak of her back. His face was contorted into a scowl as he glared at the girl, Quite literally an ant under his shoe.

"You little bitch..!" He growled. Maika was winded, The breath completely taken away from her as she turned around to finally look at her assailant.

Her eyes widened, He was only a boy.. Could of only been in his teenage years yet the black whites of his eyes said he was a demon.

But what really disturbed her was two things entirely, The first was his slayer uniform. He use to be a slayer, One of them.. He use to be one of them.

But his eyes were the most terrifying.. Lightning blue irises with the kanji 'Upper Six' ingrained deep into them, Making Maika's heart feel like it was choking up her throat.

This was Uppermoon six.

"Ballsy move there.. But did you really think that pathetic little blade could stop me? Come on! Wound's all gone now anyways, See?"

Kaigaku said. Gesturing up at his neck to find that the puncture had already disappeared, Not even a speck of blood remaining.

"P-Please.. Just let us g- AH!" Maika was cut off by a sharp kick to her side, Making her scream out in pain.

"Shut up!" Kaigaku hissed, Leaning down to her level he showed off his row of sharp, tigerish teeth. Sadism near radiated from him in that moment when he lowered his clawed hands to her eye.

But then he jumped back in order to avoid the swinging nichirin blade, Neigh slicing at his neck.

The Kakushi stood in front of Maika in a defensive stance. He was terrified, Maika could tell as his knees almost buckled under him from the shaking. Yet he still held up his sword to the upper rank anyways.

Kaigaku finally took notice of him, Seemingly too invested in getting back at the maiden who put a hole through his neck before even realising he was there at all.

"Ah, The Kakushi! There you are.." Kaigaku exclaimed.

"Heihachiro-san.. Run.. Get out of here, I'll handle this!" The Kakushi proclaimed, Yet his voice was as shaky as the hold on his sword. He wouldn't take his eyes off of the demon in front of him while motioning for her to go.

"B-But you.." Maika stuttered.

"Just go!" The Kakushi said, Finally taking a quick glance at her. His stare was the finality.

Maika only nodded as she scrambled to get up from the frozen pavement, The wound on her back starting to bleed only a little as she quickly caught her balance, All before taking off in a mad dash towards the start of the mountain pathway.

"Oh no you don't! You're not getting away from me!" Kaigaku yelled after her. Swiftly drawing his sword once more but was stopped by the Kakushi, Who took another slice at him down the middle. Once more Kaigaku dodged, An easy task for him.

"My duty as a demon slayer, I won't let you get to her.. E-Even if it costs me my life" The Kakushi said, The dawning realisation of his imminent death finally coming upon him as tears started to dust his eyes.

Kaigaku grinned, Wide and toothy.

"You said it, Not me!" He laughed, Charging at the man with his unsheathed nichirin.

He didn't even realise that his arm was lobbed off until his body hit the ground, A wide spray of blood coating the pavement like paint.

The Kakushi screamed, A loud primal noise erupting from the deepest chords in his throat as he watched his tendons and ligaments be torn from its sockets. Blood still spurting out from the wound as he cried out into the night.

He writhed around on the ground, Screaming out in pain as he kicked and flailed about. Kaigaku laughed at the sight, As he slowly approached the man once more.

"Not so high and mighty, Are you? You thought you could protect that pathetic girl and.." Kaigaku paused.

The girl.

He quickly snapped his head up, Looking back and forth to try and find where she had ran off to, Yet it was no use, She was nowhere to be found.

Kaigaku let the realisation hit him before yelling out in rage.

Completely ignoring the maimed Kakushi on the ground in favour of breaking a group of barrels, Letting the pieces break and shatter into a thousand pieces on the floor.

"Damnit.. DAMNIT!" He cursed, Stomping the last of the pieces of wood under his sandals with several hefty thuds as he gripped his hair, Almost ripping it out from his scalp.

His breathing was heavier than his anger in that moment, His body rapidly trying to calm himself down. How could he let an insignificant, Cowardly little shrine-maiden get away? It was unfathomable. How could the cat let the mouse slip through its paws?

He needed to chase after her, She couldn't get away! It would be a disgrace to him, An absolute embarrassment.

He was brought back to reality by another groan of pain from the Kakushi, Who was trying to crawl away with what arm he had left. Kaigaku felt his heartbeat start to steady, The rapid pace mellowing down into a slow thump.

It didn't matter, He got what he came for. The Kakushi would of had more information than some nobody anyways, There was no reason to chase after her. After all, The Kakushi had the information to lead him to wherever she went. Two birds with a single limb.

☆♡☆

The sound of lead scribbling away at paper seemed to fill the room, Such a miniscule sound yet it felt so loud within the confines of the library.

[F/N] groaned. Putting down her quill and grabbing the paper she scrunched it up in her hands and tossed it aside with all the other ones.

She placed her face inside her palms and started to massage her temple. The irritation inside her started to build like bacteria multiplying with the illness of it peaking into frustration.

The library was rather empty. The walls and rows of books stretching to the ceilings were only walked past once or twice, Either by the odd handmaiden or [F/N] herself, Going on a walk to try and calm her nerves.

She tried once more, Picking up the warm cup of sake-infused tea Seijun made and taking another quick sip. [F/N] felt the warm liquid go down her throat, The tea doing nothing to soothe herself but instead remind her of the state of her chest as she lightly coughed.

Setting the tea down [F/N] chided herself for feeling like this. She didn't know why she felt the way she did. Was it the nightmare? Was it the chest pains? Or could it be Shizuko.. The sudden meeting still fresh in her mind, Clear as day.

Maybe it was all of them. A combined effort of built up inconveniences that left such a sour aftertaste in her mouth, Tea doing nothing to wash it down.

[F/N] looked down at the desk she was writing at. The library was large, Probably the biggest room other than the haiden in the entire shrine. While it mostly consisted of tall ceilings and open shelves for people to pick out a book, [F/N] sat in a little nook tucked away at the very back of the library home to only a desk and a candlestick to illuminate her writing.

It was something she had been meaning to do for a few weeks now, A single piece of paper she had been meaning to write yet had put off like a chore. Even when she started to write down the first few letters the meaning would muffle, Causing her to get annoyed and scrunch the paper up and throw into the ever-growing pile.

[F/N] pulled out another blank sheet and placed it out in front of her. She sighed, Trying to gather her thoughts of what to say.

She needed to get this just right. She couldn't be too emotional but she couldn't exactly be too uptight either, There was a sweet spot she was hoping to hit, A perfect balance for her to write with.

This was stupid, She thought. Why was she even doing this in the first place? Maybe it would be better if she just didn't write anything at all. It would be easier for her anyways, But if she left things unspoken then how could there be any closure?

No. She needed to do this. Maybe not for her or not actually for the closure but there was an explanation that needed to be said, Something she at least owed to her. Ironically she didn't think she could live with herself if she didn't say something.

Picking up her quill once more she lowered it towards the paper. She knew she needed to say something, But what? There was so much yet so little at the same time, Where would she start? How would she say it?

Thoughts rushed in her mind and circled around her head like storm clouds. Everything from earlier still striking with them inside her. Shizuko.. How would he feel about this? Would he be disappointed in her?

If he actually knew, That is.

[F/N] paused the movement of her quill.

She shouldn't be thinking about him, Not after all this time. He doesn't even remember who she is.

[F/N] placed the tip of the ink dipped quill onto the paper and began to write once more. No thought went into the strokes and the lows of the quill, Just mindless word spill as it danced in her hands.

It was the culmination of the past few hours, Days, Months to years. Everything she had been wanting to say overflowed on that single sheet, Every word thoughtless yet held such weight to it as it finally got spoken.

The quill circled, The final period written down.

[F/N] picked up the piece of paper lightly, Bringing it up to the candle to read over her writing. Her eyes softly examined every word, Every letter and paragraph was carefully read over.

She set the paper down.

It was good, Good as it will ever get.

[F/N] took the piece of paper and a tea-stained envelope. Folding it up delicately she placed the paper inside of the envelope, Licking it and folding it with care she took the candle holder from the side of the desk.

She grabbed the candle and tilted it slightly, Letting the wax drip onto the core of the envelope.

Once she was satisfied she pushed it down with a little fox stamper, Creating the wax seal and completing the letter.

She tucked it away in an embedded pocket of her haori, Neatly settling it inside. She had finished. A sudden hit of serenity washed over her, A calm peacefulness finally filled the oxygen around her, A kind of feeling that was few and far between.

Picking up her half-drunken cup of tea she placed it up to her lips, Intending to finish it as reward for her work.

She let her mind drift off as she tasted the sugar and sake mix together on her tongue, A bittersweet taste ruminating as it went down her throat and fill her stomach with a comforting warmth. However it didn't last long as a sudden coughing fit interrupted her, Making her spit out the tea in her mouth.

She coughed harder, Placing her head into the inside of her forearm she set down her tea. The pain in her chest had kicked up without warning, Making the tea in her throat go out the other way.

She grabbed a tea towel and wiped her mouth with it, Finally getting the last of the residue out of her throat. The annoyance finally rising up inside her once more.

It reminded her, Where was Maika? Looking at the little pocket watch sat on her desk it had been two hours since she had woken up, Making it exactly five hours she had been out. While the mountain was hard to traverse it surely wouldn't take this long, Would it?

It was winter, Maybe the markets had a low stock and she had to search longer for a stall actually selling herbs. Maybe it was a little snowier than usual and they had to be a little more careful.

[F/N]'s brow quirked. Even though there was a myriad of reasons why she could be taking longer than usual, She still couldn't shake off the bad feeling underlying it all. A feeling that made her feel like she was drowning..

She finished off her tea, Sipping down the last of it and setting it down.

As it didn't before, It couldn't calm her nerves.

She could only hope that Maika was alright.

☆♡☆

Run. Just keep running. That's what Maika told herself as she rushed throughout the snow like a madwoman, Desperate and begging to reach her destination.

Her lungs burned from exhaustion yet she kept on going. The slash made at her back had cut open her kosobe leaving her vulnerable to the elements, The cold seeping inside of every pore on her body and soaking up every little bit of the frostbite.

The wound itself wasn't as skin-deep as she thought since she could feel the droplets of blood coming up and running down her back She supposed she was lucky however, If it was any deeper she doubted she'd of been able to make it this far.

Traversing through the forest was something she did often, Just not in the winter. In the summer it was a common activity for the handmaidens to run around and pick the local produce: Nuts, Berries, Flowers. They did it so much that the layout of the entire forest was ingrained deep into Maika's memory.

Though she couldn't deny the difficulty in the winter. The frost had made it slippery, Making it a task in of itself not to trip over and bash her head in on a rock. The light fog concealed her vision too, Only a good few metres in front of her being perceived at all.

She pleaded to Inari, Begging that the Kakushi she had left behind would be alright. That he would somehow survive, Be in one piece at the very least. But she knew in the back of her mind, By the number in that demons eye she knew what would become of him.

Maika kept going, Stumbling only a little as the mountains terrain got a little rockier, Just a little steeper as she kept going. The fog got a little thicker as she went along too, Eventually to the point where it was neigh impossible to see.

By the time she knew she was lost her legs felt numb, Cold to the touch.

But she kept going anyways, Determined in her goal.

☆♡☆

The dark hallway of the inn was only illuminated by the dim embers of the candles lining it in holsters.

Heavy thumps of both footsteps and the dragging of the Kakushi's body was the only noise in earshot, The rest as silent as a killer.

The Kakushi was barely conscious, His vision a messy blur as he felt so much lighter than before. His mind was in pieces too, Barely registering objects he bumped into and the tiny light from the candles seemed blinding to him, Making him writhe around.

Kaigaku had a firm hold on the mans neck, Claws itching to wring it but refrained from the sheer opportunity he held in his hands. A crudely made bandage stopping the bleeding going any further.

Kaigaku stopped in his tracks once he reached the end of the hallway, Standing face to face with a door not unlike any other they had passed. Just a simple, Mahogany wood door.

But Kaigaku took in a deep breath, Interrupted by nervous jitters. He looked himself up and down adjusting both his uniform and his hair just before reaching a clawed hand out and lightly knocking.

Knock

…

"Come in."

The voice called out from behind the door. Kaigaku took one more breath in before turning the knob and pushing the door open.

It revealed a wide open bedroom, An expensive one that the inn owner would only rent out to high-paying customers. Though it would be impossible now as her mangled corpse lay on the table, Limbs spread out like a religious painting.

"M-Master!" Kaigaku called out. His previous arrogant and cocky demeanour now washed away into a nervous and skittish behaviour as he cowered in the doorframe, Looking back at the other man. A complete switch in a single second.

Kokushibo sat at the table on his knees. The corners of his lips smudged with red as he held the inn owners leg in his hands, A large chunk already gorged out from the bone and down the gullet of her killer.

"What do you want, Tsuguko?" Kokushibo asked. His deep voice as stoic as ever, Even while holding the severed arm of his meal it never wavered in the slightest.

"I-I apologise for interrupting you sir but-!" Kaigaku didn't finish, Just hung up the maimed body of the Kakushi like meat on a hook. Grinning with nervous joy, Pleased at his catch.

Kokushibo stared dead eyed at the incapacitated body of the Kakushi, Watching him loll his head to the side and squirm around in his Tsuguko's iron grip.

Kaigaku looked back at his master, His grin however pleased it was still shook at points. Feeling his heart throb in his chest he could only wait.

Finally, Kokushibo put down the severed leg of the inn owner to be absorbed later. He got up from the tatami mat and dusted off his kimono, All six of his eyes never leaving the body for a second.

Kaigaku watched him walk over to them both. The Kakushi, Despite his head and his body in pieces was somehow acutely aware of the shift in the air, Seemingly going still in Kaigaku's grasp as Kokushibo now stood only about a foot away from him.

His hand reached out, The Kakushi barely recognising the clawed hand examining his uniform. Tugging and feeling the consistency of the fabric.

He hummed. A deep gravelly kind of reverberation came from his throat, Reminiscent of what an animal would make while cornered.

"A Kakushi.. This is good work… I congratulate you on your efforts, Tsuguko.." Kokushibo said, The tension finally broken Kaigaku deflated. Shoulders slumping as he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, All in favour of smiling like a madman at the praise.

The Kakushi groaned at the sudden speech as he lightly tugged his head up, Only to come face to face with six blurry golden eyes staring him down.

"Ggh-!" The Kakushi yelped, Only to be cut off by a sputter of coughs and gags like something was lodged inbetween his throat, Which was now squeezed tightly in between a single palm.

Kaigaku let go of the Kakushi and let Kokushibo handle it now, Watching as he was raised to reach his masters own towering height. The Kakushi quickly blinked his eyes as he continued to cough, The fuzz in his vision clearing away.

Kokushibo's terrifying visage was now on full display to the man so unfortunate to gaze upon it. Six eyes, Six golden bloodshot eyes pierced and stung at his skin like a thousand wasps as he widened his own.

Uppermoon one.

This was Uppermoon one.

The Kakushi couldn't look away from the kanji in his eyes, Like a horrible wreck he was faced with he couldn't bare to take his eyes off him for a single second. Even as he felt the demons talons dig into the skin of his neck he never felt a single bit of it.

"And you found him doing..?" Kokushibo queried, Drawling out every little syllable.

"B-Buying stuff from a merchant." Kaigaku responded.

"And in his uniform.. Interesting." Kokushibo mumbled under his breath, Seemingly lost in thought.

Suddenly his claws jagged in a little deeper to the Kakushi's neck, Making him groan out in pain as he felt blood start to trickle down the demon's fingers.

"He is conscious… You can hear what I am saying, Yes?" Kokushibo asked.

The Kakushi nodded slightly. The undertone of the demons voice contained a low threat, A small warning. A warning for what he might do to him if he didn't answer him back with what he wanted.

Kokushibo brought the man down.

"Good.. Then you will be able to answer as well.." Kokushibo said. Kokushibo suddenly reached to the side of his waist and gripped his sword hilt. The Kakushi finally pried his eyes away from the demons only to see the sharp of a flesh forged blade, Pointed straight at his jugular.

The Kakushi cried out as he started to flail around in Kokushibo's grasp, Desperate to get away from the blade.

"Now.. I understand that you slayers are not very.. Compliant with us." Kokushibo started.

He pressed the tip of his sword just a little further into his neck.

"So to act as a bit of encouragement.. I highly suggest that you start talking.. Otherwise it wont just be an arm you'll lose.."

☆♡☆

"Thank you again.. [F/N]-san. There are no words I could say to appreciate your generosity and kindness.."

The room sat high on the second floor of the shrine, One of the bigger ones housed within the walls. It had tall ceilings and a wide open floor plan, The only furniture was a simple large tatami mat and hanging tapestries depicting Shinto lore.

It gave the room a long kind of look. The tapestries were overlain like paint on a portrait making the room seem wider than it really was, Not a bad look. Just mildly clustered.

Gyomei sat along one side of the room, The one with the door. Behind him sat a menagerie of different people, All of them slayers.

Some of them [F/N] recognised. Genya sat beside Gyomei, Sitting appropriately on his knees and intently listening in to the conversation. The other she recognised was Tanjiro, Who sat a little behind the Hashira with another girl she didn't quite recognise.

There were a few others too that she didn't know of. A boy with a boar head struggled to stay still on the tatami mat while another boy with canary coloured hair held his head low, Not looking up at all.

And then there was Shizuko, Who sat to the other side of Gyomei. His wide eyed stare was ever there, Examining the entire room top to bottom to commit it to memory.

[F/N] tried her hardest not to look at him for too long.

"It's alright. We here have opened up our shrine to you slayers for a reason, You are completely free to come and go as you like.. As long as you stay respectful to the integrity of this place, That is." [F/N] said, Her soft tone matching her smile as she thanked the Hashira.

[F/N] sat at the opposite end of the room facing the group of slayers, Seijun sat beside her. She had tried to avoid Gyomei all throughout the day yet she supposed that it was bound to happen eventually. Gyomei, As much as she rather disliked him, Was always a cordial and respectful man. So it basically threaded in fate that he would want to thank her.

Gyomei rattled his beads

"Thank you.. [F/N]-san. However I must apologise for my college, Fujimori.. I've been searching for him around the shrine but I am unable to locate his whereabouts. So I would like to thank you on his behalf and apologise for his disrespect.." Gyomei said, Bowing his head lightly.

[F/N] felt herself let out a tiny relieved sigh, Despite his impeccable senses he was completely unaware of her little Jekyll and Hyde charade. She lightly thanked Inari under her breath.

"Ah, It's fine.. I honestly don't mind, It's not a necessity to thank us for our hospitality but I do appreciate the effort. I'm sure Fujimori is thankful" [F/N] said, Bowing her head straight back to him.

"Even so.. It would of been more respectful to your shrine if he did offer thanks." Gyomei replied, Silently crying over the disrespect from Fujimori, Assumedly at least. It was always hard to tell.

"No, No. Really, It's nothing that I- Ack!" [F/N] keeled over, A sudden coughing fit burst out from within her throat.

Seijun quickly got up from her position behind [F/N] and to her side.

"[F/N]-sama.." Seijun said, Lightly patting the centre of her back as [F/N]'s sputters died down into low wheezes. Gyomei was already across the room in a second, Now kneeling down in front of the two.

"[F/N]-san.. Are you alright?" Gyomei asked.

"Y-Yes.. I'm fine. My chest is just a bit painful right now.." [F/N] said however strained her voice was.

"How long has it lasted?" Seijun asked, Using her hands to examine the low of her back to the peak of her neck for any damage.

"Since a few hours ago.. We were out of anything to use as a remedy so I sent a shrine-maiden down to the village to buy some more.. But.. She hasn't come back yet." [F/N] replied. She warily lifted her head towards the clock.

"About five hours and thirty two minutes ago to be exact.." [F/N] said.

"That is.. Not normal.." Gyomei replied.

"Correct, She should of been back by now.. I would've gone to check on her but with both my duties and my chest pain I'm not fit to." [F/N] explained.

It was true, The speck of worry she had felt before only grew into bigger and bigger every time she was reminded of her pain. Maika should of been back by now. She was a shrine-maiden and had most likely committed the mountain's layout to memory, It was a given. But with the winter it could of been made tricky.

What if she had dismissed [F/N]'s orders of wearing warmer clothes? What if she didn't find a Kakushi to help escort her? [F/N] bit her tongue, She didn't want to know what could've happened to her.

While they were never that close, The shrine-maidens here were one thing of three that she cared for dearly. She didn't want them to die, Not any one of them.

"If you desire, I will go and search for the shrine-maiden." Gyomei offered, His ever-sombre voice breaking [F/N] out of her thoughts.

She smiled lightly.

"If you could, That would be amazing, Himejima-san." [F/N] nodded. It was good, Gyomei despite his blindness was rather extraordinary at tracking down people, But more often than not it was demon's.

Gyomei nodded.

"H-Hey!"

A voice called out from the group of slayers. [F/N] peered over Gyomei's shoulder to see the younger canary haired kid. He was rather short and wore a nervous expression that never seemed to fade, Something that [F/N] noted.

"If you're gonna go down the mountain.. I'd like to come along, No offense but this place is pretty creepy.." The boy said. He was eyeing a specific tapestry depicting several creatures with rather ugly expressions. He shivered like a wet cat while looking at it.

An irrational coward to an unbelievable degree, Something [F/N] also picked up about him. The tapestries were everywhere around the shrine and if he was uneasy by one of the smaller ones then [F/N] could only imagine what happened when he saw the others.

"Not for me! These demons don't scare me in the slightest!" The boar headed kid beside him suddenly yelled and jumped up onto the soles of his feet.

"I could take any of them on easily, Especially that one! It's no match for Inosuke, God of the mountains!" Inosuke yelled once more, Pointing towards some unknown point in the tapestries.

"It's just a banner! It's not real, Inosuke!" Tanjiro called out to him.

"Heh?! Of course they're real! Why else would they be made into hides?" Inosuke retorted, Which seemed to start a full on argument across the room as the other kids joined in.

[F/N] watched over them and groaned, Pinching her temples.

"Listen, Himejima-san. Thank you so much for doing this, Just get the slayers who want to come along with you and try to find her." [F/N] spoke, Returning the conversation to the two adults as the argument went on in the background.

"Alright.. Do you have any description of what this maiden looks like?" Gyomei asked.

[F/N] hummed.

"Her name is Heihachiro, Maika. She's pretty small, around 5'3.. Erm.. Blonde hair and dark eyes. She's assumedly wearing the shrine-maiden uniform.. With ribbons in her hair too." [F/N] said, Trying to give as much details as possible.

"Understood. I'll try to recover her as soon as possible." Gyomei got up from his kneeling position and bowed in front of her. [F/N] returned the gesture, A genuine display of gratitude.

"Thank you. Stay safe, Okay?"

☆♡☆

Splatters of red crimson painted the corner the Kakushi's body was slumped in. His limbs numb, So numb. It felt as if they weren't even there anymore, Like that they were torn from the sockets and were laying on his lap on display.

But that wasn't true, Was it? What time was it, He didn't know. Where was he, As well? It was so dark where he was that couldn't even see a foot in front of him, Only feeling it severed from his ankle.

He was so tired, As if the weight of the entire world was collapsing on top of him, Unable to carry it no longer. He couldn't even feel the tears in his skin, Thousands of them adorning his skin like papercuts bleeding him dry.

The tilt of his head, The feeling of a flesh forged blade titling his head up to meet the face of his assailant.

He wanted it to end, His life. He couldn't go on anymore, He didn't care. The pain was too much for him to bare that he just wished the curtains could close and never open up again. Everything hurt so much, Everything.

"Now.. Are you ready to tell us..?" His assailant asked. The shine of his eyes like lighthouses in a storm-ridden night, Looking down at the broken wreck of a man in front of him.

The Kakushi opened his mouth, Saliva mixing with iron he finally spoke out in a raspy whisper.

"F-Fine.."

☆♡☆

Candles lit up. Small embers growing from the wax as they met with the other creating a dim yet comforting light in the haiden.

Baskets of weaved straw bustled around the entire hall. All of them were filled with some sort of offering: Flowers, Fruit, Bottles of Sake and rice grains. All in favour of pleasing the deity enshrined here.

[F/N] walked slowly along the long drawn carpet. Moving past the lit candles, Hanging tapestries and woven baskets as she finally reached the altar.

It was the heart of the haiden, The pandemonium of the entire shrine.

The offerings grew heavier here with candles sprinkled in between the cracks, Ever burning bright in the dark shadows of the hall.

She dusted off her kimono and settled herself down in front of the altar, Making sure to get comfortable on her knees as she knelt before the wooden haiden. She took in a deep breath, Ready to speak The nightmares, The thing she had came to ask about. [F/N] had prayed to Inari before about them, Mostly praying for them to stop during ceremonies or on her own personal time.

They never did stop however. [F/N] often wondered if Inari was listening at all, If her prayers really were getting heard.

Or maybe it was because her nightmares were meant to happen. It wasn't exactly unheard of people getting prophetic visions through their dreams, It was actually a rather common story among demon slayers.

Insight of a past life, Views into future events. It was all rumours spread around the metaphorical water-cooler, Tales of visions spread through dreams. While [F/N] was rather sceptical of these claims she knew how the kami were said to work, She supposed it wasn't out of the realm of possibility.

And now as she knelt at the altar she had supposed that maybe they were true after all.

But still, The newest dream still fresh in her mind ate away at her bit by bit. If they were visions, They were rather subtle before. Maybe not even serving a higher purpose but remembering the primal scream of the voice and the raw look of terror in her double's eyes made her stifle her breath.

She couldn't make sense of it, Not in the slightest.

Letting out the deep breath she was holding she clasped her hands up into prayer. Closing her eyes she prepared to ask.

"Ō-Inari.. Please, Hear my call."

☆♡☆

The crunching of snow came out from under his sandals, Heavy thumps making their way through the endless gale as he ascended upwards.

Kokushibo marched forward, The cold being nothing but an annoyance coming in from around him. His eyes narrowed as he felt something else crawl up his spine, A reminiscent emotion. One he hadn't felt in centuries as Kaigaku followed him close behind.

The Kakushi had finally given up information to the two, All in exchange for his torment to finally end. Kokushibo thought it was pathetic, Such a weak little human he was. Both in strength and in mind.

He had spoke of a Kakushi base, The place where the majority of slayer operations originated from. It was good information, One of the best leads any of them had had in years.

"T-The Kakushi said that it was somewhere up here?" Kaigaku asked.

The chilling temperatures didn't bother him either as he stood strong with his sword drawn. He had hoped to hell and back that the Kakushi didn't give them false information, If so then it would be impossible to interrogate him once more.

Kokushibo just kept moving, Not acknowledging his Tsuguko's attempts of conversation as he kept going.

That feeling, That feeling once more crawled up the dip of his back. He couldn't recognise it despite how oh so familiar it felt. His eyes finally targeted on an object through the mist, A dark shape settled within the cold mist.

Kokushibo squinted his eyes to try and get a better look at it.

Kaigaku gulped as he started to fiddle with his thumbs, The worry of misinformation starting to come up once more.

"What if.. What if he gave us wrong info? What if-" Kaigaku stopped mid-sentence as he saw Kokushibo pause.

His steady stride through the snow had halted all of sudden. If Kaigaku didn't know better then he could of sworn he saw a jolt go through him, Like a static shock making him still in place.

"M-Master..?" Kaigaku muttered as he moved around to Kokushibo's side to get a better look at him.

All three sets of Kokushibo's eyes were wide open, Stretched to their very limits. His mouth was left slack open. A complete visage of what could only be described as shocked horror as he stared forward.

In front of him, Was a stone lantern.

There was absolutely nothing special about this lantern in particular. Just a wide stone block with a small carved roof on top of it. It was not unlike any kind of lantern he's seen before yet it finally clicked in his mind once he saw it.

It was a shrine lantern.

No.. Not just a shrine lantern..

It was the shrine lanterns used in his sister's shrine.

The air shifted around him in this realisation. As if he had suddenly became of the entire atmosphere, Every tree and every rock he was now acutely aware of as he glared down at this lantern.

It wasn't just the lantern.. It was everywhere, He recognised it now. This was where his sister's shrine is…

"M-Master…?" Kaigaku whispered, Reaching out for his masters shoulder.

As soon as it was connected, Kaigaku's arm was lobbed off from his shoulder making him yelp out in surprise as he backed away.

"Do not touch me.." He hissed, Finally coming back to his senses. Kaigaku nodded quickly as he stumbled a few steps further away from the man.

"We are here.. Go.. Go find another entrance to attack from.. It will be harder to defend from two sides.." Kokushibo commanded, His voice was firm. Borderline irritated as he watched Kaigaku quickly rush away in another direction, Quick to follow his orders.

He paid no more attention to him however as he took a few strides forward and kneeled down in front of the lantern.

It was lit. A small spark of ember had been lit between the barks of wood placed in it. The little flame was fighting against the blizzard to stay alive, And it held on. It had been recently lit.

Kokushibo felt anger rise up inside him like a boiling pot. He traced the stone of the lantern with his hands. This was [F/N]'s shrine, No doubt.. And if what the Kakushi had given the right information then.. They were using her shrine as the Kakushi base..

The boiling pot overflowed, The stone he was tracing with his hand was now crushed within his grasp and crumbled down like it was absolutely nothing to him. Even after the crushed particles of stone fell down into the slush below he wasn't done, As he swiftly levelled the rest of it with a single sway of his hand.

For all these centuries he couldn't bare to go back to her shrine, The lost memories of her life played out every time he even dared to think about it. It felt like a fist squeezing out the bloody juices from inside his heart, It was painful, He could never go back, Never..

At least not to the real thing anyways.

But that feeling inside him, The one that felt like his heart was about to burst was now replaced with absolute, Concentrated rage. In the time that he had left and abandoned [F/N]'s shrine the slayers had infested it like mice and claimed it as their own.

His teeth clenched. Canines and molars grinding against one and other as he cursed out the slayers under his breath.

It was just like that night. That awful night, One of the worst days of his life as he remembered the feeling of holding her frozen over corpse in his arms. The warmth left her body, Never to return.

Her dried tears.. The stab wound through her back.. She was covered head to toe in her own blood. She had tried to find help, She was fighting to survive in her last moments and he was too late to be there for her.

The memories of that night went through him. He had thought of them before, He had never stopped. Every waking moment he would be called back to that one stupid little night yet now as he knelt in the exact same place she had perished it felt so, so much worse.

But within the flurry of emotions he felt it was anger that came on top. The slayers had desecrated her shrine, His sisters shrine. They had turned it into a base without any respect given to her while he was gone.

It was unacceptable, It was truly down to the very last bone in his body a disgrace. The only remnant left of her and they ruined it.

Getting up from his kneeling position he rested a firm hand on his sword. The tears starting to speckle his eyes were quickly shook off.

He wasn't going to let them get away with it. They'd pay, Not for him but for his late-sisters sake.

How would she feel about this? About her precious shrine turned into nothing but business operations for the group that slew her? She'd be horrified, Disgusted too. He imagined it in his head, Her reaction to the news of what happened played out so clear it was if she was standing in front of him.

She'd cry as she listened to the tale of what happened to it, She'd hug him in search of comfort and he'd try his best to provide it. He imagined it happening..

All as if she was still alive.

"Don't worry, [F/N].. Michi-Nii will deal with this.."

☆♡☆

"I don't understand, Inari.. I don't know what it means.."

[F/N] sat rambling off to the shrine. She had done the proper incantations and rituals to perform her prayers, Now all that was left was to consult them. See if they answer and if they do, She'd finally get her closure.

"The snow.. The man and those words. I don't understand it, Inari. Please, If you want to give me a message I beg of you, Be more direct with me.." [F/N] pleaded, Her hands still were clasped in that same prayer position just a little more desperately this time.

"For months I've been given these dreams, Either by you or by something else that's wrong with me. I know you are listening, That I do not doubt.." [F/N] continued as she lowered her head, Now bowing down to the altar.

"I just want to know.. What do they mean?" She said, A finality in her voice as she went silent. Waiting on eagerly for a response. It was quiet, Deafeningly so. Nothing made a single sound, No echoes travelled around the honden like they usually would.

[F/N] felt her hands clench up, Her body tense as she waiting for something. Anything.

Suddenly the candles flickered, The flames stuttering on and off.

[F/N] sensed it and raised her head, Watching as they moved about in a swaying motion.

"W-What th-"

BOOM!

An explosion of noise erupted from behind her like a dam being broken down by a raging tsunami. A rapid gush of wind and cold air hit her like the strormsurge as she yelped out in surprise.

She fell over, Holding onto one of the wooden pillars for support so she wouldn't be knocked over once more. The entire shrine's structure seemed to shake at the force of some unknown cause.

As the wind finally settled and she could lift her head. From outside the honden she could hear yelling and screaming of several groups of people, Panicked frenzied noises muffled by the shaken walls.

But what really caught her attention was the noise of the Kasugai crows coming out from their aviary on the third floor. It sounded like they were coming out in flocks, Croaking and screaming one single phrase over and over again.

"EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! ATTACK! ATTACK! THE KAKUSHI BASE IS UNDER ATTACK! CALLING FOR ALL NEARBY SLAYERS!"

Next Chapter

207 notes · View notes

cipher-fresh · 5 months ago

Note

a while ago i saw of post of yours that mentioned shipping bias and "paper doll syndrome" could i ask you to elaborate on that?

Yes! I think I wrote in the tags of this post a specific name for the phenomenon I describe in the body of the post. I call it Paper Doll Syndrome when fandom fanfiction/transformative work ignores, gets rid of or writes out significant character traits of people in a romantic relationship so that getting them into or keeping them in a romantic relationship has less obstacles. The only personality traits these characters express is being in love with each other. In having their character traits shaved off, they are reduced to nothing but a paper doll that has no depth, and can be given a new coat of paint to represent a new ship. With every ship being reduced to two people only having personality traits related to romance, every ship you engage with may as well be the same one with a new coat of paint.

To provide an example of how this would work, imagine a couple in canon who do care about each other, but one of them has a moral objection to something the other is engaging in. Fan fiction that engages in paper doll syndrome with these characters would either make that character no longer care about their moral objection, or find a justification for why the other character is doing the thing in question. This shaves away interesting conflict and drama where the two characters could discuss their relationship, their personal ethical codes or the society they live in.

My original post was about the Good Omens s2 finale and how I thought making Aziraphale reject the Metatron’s offer and making Crowley accept Aziraphale’s offer both felt out of character. Sure, if Aziraphale said no to a promotion in Heaven, or had Crowley said yes to a promotion in Heaven, the two of them would be in a place where they could start dating, as Crowley had admitted his feelings. This would make it very easy to write fanfiction where they start dating. But that’s not how the season ends. They end the season with a rift in their relationship where both of them will need to consider their relationship to humanity, Heaven and Hell, and each other. This article puts it really well- both of them need to do character development before them being in a relationship makes sense.

I think the main culprit to this issue is amatonormativity, the belief that romantic relationships are the most real and true relationship you can have with another person, and the belief that people are incomplete without being in a romantic relationship.

#updates from cipher #gonna tag it #paper doll syndrome

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dennissima · 7 months ago

Text

London - one week later

One week away, I still need to process lots of emotions from London. I already had to tell you what happened in those almost 8 hours (HERE) as a bullet point of events: flights, the National Theatre, Michael Sheen himself.

If that could be enough for being excited, I'd like to share something more. I brought at home with me a great connection with amazing people: @orth82, my fairy godmother at the Stage Door, who kept me safe, took photos for me and bothered to find something to eat for me (with Ellia, whose contact I do not have) because I forgot to have dinner. In her, I really found a fandom soulmate and I feel so lucky if our friendship will grow even if we live so far.

@buzzinglarrieee and her little kewpie doll. I put the photo she gave me as a bookmark for Nye's script. I recognised the doll because I had already seen her on social media and it was very exciting to take live pictures. Although I looked very silly pointing at her bag from which MiniNye was peeking out and saying "But you are… you!". Anyway, I'm so glad to meet her in person and keep in touch with her on Twitter and Tumblr! There were other people but they don't have Tumblr, I believe. I write them only on Twitter but I have to thanks for making an evening I had long dreamt of even more magical.

Now it's time to share my memorabilia!

I already said I made a mess. I was wrong to offer Michael the Good Omens Script Book page to sign (in fact he appeared confused but signed it anyway).

The ink on the Nye script cover didn't dry fast enough and I made a huge black stain on two books. I had to ask for another autograph (sorry Michael, thank you for your patience). At home, I managed to clean the covers but two large spots remained. I'm not complaining: those shadows tell this funny story, after all.

I have already mentioned the photo of the doll that @buzzinglarrieee gave me, and I only regret that I did not have time to go all the way to St. James Park to pick up one of the little gifts at the Aziracrow bench. But my purpose is go there taking with me gifts for Good Omens fans next time I'll be in London.

That night I felt empty and overwhelmed, but @orth82 was right: she said to me it would pass and only good feelings stay.

After a week I feel grateful, strong and energic. I'm back at home up to write again, even in English, even if it costs me a big effort. (Not the kind of effort you are thinking about, mates!).

Thank you for reading. Talk to you soon!

#london #michael sheen #Nye #National Theatre #Good Omens #new friends

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softevnstan · 2 years ago

Note

From the NSFW genarator

reader handing Bucky Barnes a bowl of cream/chocolate/honey and telling them to spread them on their own body where they want it eaten by reader. Bucky Barnes eagerly complies, and everything starts (or ends) with a sloppy smear on person Bucky Barnes's lips.

pairing. bucky barnes x gender neutral!reader

summary. for valentine's day, bucky brings you a bowl of whipped cream and strawberries. with a game proposition, you very quickly come to learn you're hungry for a different type of cream.

warnings. bucky loves you with all his heart but he's also a hard dom at heart. misuse of strawberries and whipped cream, dom/sub undertones, spitting/spit, oral sex (m receiving), dirty talk, food play - whipped cream, facefucking, petnames (specifically 'doll' and 'sugar', but these are intended to be for any partner, not just f), fluff, pre-established relationship SMUT - minors DNI. reader's bits are not mentioned in depth here so gender is ambiguous, i like all of my stories to be as inclusive as i can make them :)

a.n. hi, nonny, i wanted this to be out on valentine's day but some things in my personal life held that up. additionally: kinda interpreted this a little bit of the way i wanted to and the way i thought i'd best enjoy writing it, so bucky is the one with the game in mind (bonus: listen to this song as your background music like i did to add to the experience) -- reader is nerdy and likes things like books and candles and reading (reader is me projecting lbr)

also winterdevil friendship briefly mentioned bc i can

w.c. 7.3k

You were only a few pages into your new book - ‘Good Omens’; You’d heard good things about the story in its witty writing and amusing tale.

Bucky had been paying attention when you’d both gone on a bookshop date and scoured the shelves hopefully for the novel. Even when asking about the bookstore’s directory, the worker reluctantly let you know the book wasn’t in stock. You’d shrugged the loss off with a warm smile; ‘Better luck next time, right?’

Imagine your delight when Bucky brought you a red gift bag with four golden arrows decoratively laid horizontally and stacked upon one another with the words ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’. Inside the bag had even more delightful contents; Peeling past the elegant golden tissue paper, you were excited to find your very own copy of the novel you’d been unable to find in stores. Additionally was a box of chocolates and a candle scented ‘Rose & Apple’.

“Aw, Bucky,” you swooned, “I thought we said no gifts…?” “I know,” Bucky admitted, moving around the kitchen island to come to stand behind you; Arms of flesh and vibranium slowly winding around your waist to hug your body to his own, settling into a comfortable hold so naturally. “But I like seeing you smile.”

You looked fondly at the cover of the book, thumb gently brushing over the paperback cover before setting it down on the counter. You bit your lips together in an appreciative smile, and you felt Bucky’s grin against the side of your neck where he tucked away. Nose rubbing affectionately against your pulse before pressing a chaste kiss.

“...At least now you won’t feel surprised when I tell you I got you a few gifts of your own,” you reveal as you turn your head to usher Bucky’s chin up. “Oh, of course, you got me something anyways!” Bucky huffed on an amused laugh, eyes crinkled in the corners with his smile, and your heart was left to melt.

He nosed into you lovingly, nuzzling and then pressing foreheads together. You took the opportunity to drape your arms around Bucky’s shoulders in a warm embrace; the rest of your quiet valentine’s day was spent peacefully with expensive sushi ordered to your shared apartment, moving the furniture and putting his records on to sway together playfully with giggles and kisses, then wrapped up with movies in the living room and popcorn kernels in between the couch cushions from the way you’d been pelting pieces at one another. You needed no fancy dinners or dates. You both were capable of making a night-in a remarkable memory all on its own.

Though the favor you called in from Zemo wound up with gifting Bucky a signed copy of ‘The Hobbit’ signed by J.R.R. Tolkien himself, and that was pretty good at also making an evening remarkable. The absolute awe in Bucky’s eyes and the way he’d gone slack-jawed when unwrapping the book was worth the six digits that were poured into the cost. Zemo had more than enough to spend and was happily willing to pay off his debt. A book was child’s play for Baron - simple.

You'd only been a few pages into your new book; Having been eager to begin drinking in the story as soon as possible. Bucky knew you were a bookworm; it's part of what you two had so in common - Bucky knew how to appreciate a good story, too. Eagerly diving into the paperback and excitedly tearing through pages was what you did best; On Multiple occasions where Bucky and you had surprised one another with blind-book dates and annotated novels for one another, reading was perhaps a love language between the both of you.

So you’d think Bucky would’ve expected that from you as soon as that book was between your nimble fingers. Good luck with any attempts that may sway your attention or distract you as a whole; everyone should know it’s useless to try. But Bucky wasn’t everyone else. Bucky knew you and knew how to wriggle his way in between you and a good book.

And his key tool for that this evening seemed to be a wooden food tray with a bowl of hulled strawberries and a tub of whipped cream, and then an additional can that made you raise a brow. Any skepticism was dropped in moments given the natural delight you felt with Bucky in a room. When it was just the two of you, he was the sweetest man you’d ever met. “Surprise,” Bucky beamed softly, earning an amused smile from you in the process. He moved from the archway of the kitchen to step into the living room, rounding the coffee table to take his seat beside you on the couch.

“Strawberries? You shouldn’t have,” you hum appreciatively, picking up your bookmark to hold your page; You didn’t dog-ear your pages like some savage.

“Strawberries and Valentine’s Day go hand in hand last I checked. Whipped cream just makes it even better.” the soldier defends, earning a playful roll of your eyes.

“You’re makin’ me feel like a chump here, Bucky, we said no gifts and surprises,” you softly protest albeit with little sternness to your voice. Book abandoned on the side table of the couch, you leaned to reach for a piece of fruit.

“Ah ah ah,” Bucky stops you, vibranium hand coming to cover the mouth of the bowl. “This isn’t for nothin’, I wanna play a game, sweetheart…” The sultry purr to Bucky’s voice insinuates he’s up to no good. “Huh?” You pause, confused as you look between Bucky’s hand and the bowl. A game? “I should’ve known there’d be a catch. You’re a menace, James.” The words are light and teasing; No real harm behind them.

“Oh quit bein’ so dramatic,” Bucky playfully chides with a teasing pinch to your outer thigh - it makes you squeak in delight and burst into soft laughs before shooing his hand away. Bucky absolutely thrives on your smile and laugh; It drives him crazy. “I’m not dramatic, I’m melodramatic!” you titter happily. “Well, if by ‘melodramatic’ you mean ‘theatrical’,” Bucky commented with a mischievous grin as he safely set the tray on the coffee table. You took the liberty of pulling the throw pillow you’d been laying on and help it live up to its name; Hitting Bucky in the shoulder with the cushion for his ‘theatrical’ comment.

“You love me and my melodrama theatrics all the same, don’t act like you don’t.” “Alas, it’s true.” he sighs sweetly, nothing but love in his gray eyes as he says it; Smitten. The softness of it helps melt some of the banter that had been building. “...And what was this ‘game’ you were talking about, exactly, Bucky?”

Bucky’s eyes light up with arousal, wetting his lips and treating the question as though he couldn’t wait to answer. “Have you ever plaid chicken before, sunshine?” Bucky inquires, and your head shakes side to side. “Alright, I brought out whipped cream. Wherever one person smears whipped cream, the other has to lick it off. The first one to refuse - or chicken out - loses.”

Your own gaze widens with delight at the sound of the provocative game. At least a game was something you could get behind, and it definitely had a means of spicing things up with Bucky; Not that your sex life was boring, but something new every now and again was exciting for the both of you.

“Aw,” Bucky tuts sympathetically, “I can see it on your face, poor thing. The way your eyes lit up… Sheesh, people are gonna think m’not takin’ care of my babydoll.” The heat that rises to your face is familiar and leaves your chest feeling fluttery. “You do take care of me, Bucky,” you softly utter, squeezing your thighs together. “I wanna play.” the words are airy when they leave your lips, and the voice in which you speak makes Bucky stifle a soft groan in reply.

“Knew you would, baby. Such a perfect little thing, always onboard for whatever I want to try.” Bucky hums his approval and something inside of you swoons for the praise. He even takes a moment to use his fingers and tenderly brush the stray hairs from your face; touching you nothing but gently.

“Uh huh,” you confirm with a jerky nod and a doe-eyed look as Bucky smiles, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead. He reaches for the container of whipped cream, popping the lid off. “Wait.” The thought creeps up on you.

Bucky stills briefly, eyes flickering to your face in a brief haze of concern. Pausing the act he’s been putting on for a moment to assure you’re not being genuine when you ask him to ‘wait’. You swallow around the tightness in your throat, attention solely on Bucky as you watch his studying face. Leave it to Bucky to be ready to fret over you at the drop of a dime.

“What if I win?” Bucky’s expression falls for a brief moment before twisting into disbelief and amusement. He laughs, entertained but relieved that’s where your concerns lie rather than somewhere more concerning.

“If you win, huh? Hmm,” Bucky takes a deliberate moment to hum and you shift with eager anticipation. Curious for whatever delicious thoughts may be brewing in that beautiful head of his. “Why don’t you choose — What would my babydoll want as a prize…?” the drawl of his voice nearly makes you squirm where you sit on the couch.

Your mind runs wild with ideas for half a moment before settling on something simple; “You have to go down on me, mouth only. No hands to help.” A swell of pride in your chest at the thought, you could already imagine Bucky looming over you and the warmth of his breath on your core before delving in without the aid of his hands.

Bucky seems to like the idea as well if the devilish way he watches you is anything to go off of.

“Sounds like a deal, and if you lose, you go down on me, sunshine.” You would hardly consider that a losing game.

“Sounds like a fair match - may the best player win,” you chuckle, the words a meager attempt to take back the reigns on your confidence and not become complete mush for this man by default. Bucky had this charming way of entrancing you. He did it to everyone that got to know him, half the time Bucky didn’t even need to think about it.

“I’ll get us started,” the sergeant takes lead - setting the lid of the whipped cream container on the coffee table and using a spoon he’d brought along with him to scoop up a dollop from the container. Messily, Bucky smears a dab across his bottom lip - all too aware of what he’s doing. Bucky may look innocent, but there are devil horns holding up that halo. You wonder if that’s a reflection of his friendship with Matt.

The grin Bucky wears is devilish when he looks at you; Eyes piercing and somehow even seductive with a swipe of whipped cream on his bottom lip. A soft giggle emits from your being before leaning to pluck up a strawberry. You use the piece of fruit to swipe along Bucky’s bottom lip, successfully scooping up traces of the whipped cream before taking a bite of the strawberry. The taste is ripe and sweet, no wonder they’re occasionally considered a form of natural aphrodisiac.

Bucky’s flesh hand finds your wrist tenderly after the first bite, causing you to arch a brow.

“Licking, sunshine.” Bucky corrects. “Pick at strawberries all you want, but the rules of the game required you to use your mouth. Otherwise, that’s not nearly as fun, is it?”

It’s moments like those that made you feel all light and fuzzy. When Bucky talks to you as though you were a helpless and useless thing; It makes your brain fog up with cotton with the way he speaks down to you.

“No, Bucky,” You exhale sweetly. “Good baby,” Bucky’s hand releases your wrist to lift and cup your cheek, giggling when you’re faced with the whipped cream on his lip again. Not as easy to take him so seriously. Bucky gives an amused huff at the response. “Now c’mon, before this melts and you have to lick that up, too.”

Popping the rest of your strawberry into your mouth, you finished chewing and swallowing before cupping Bucky’s jaw to steady him. Holding him in place when you lean forward into his space; being able to smell the traces of sandalwood and cinnamon on his skin made you shiver. It didn’t matter how many times you were like this with Bucky, your belly filled with butterflies every time in the best way. Tentatively you drag your tongue across his bottom lip, whipped cream sweet on your tongue.

There’s no chance to pull away when Bucky catches your lips in an immediate kiss following. Mouth slotting to yours in the opportunity that the man has, grinning against your lips like the cat that got the cream. His large palm lifted to come and cradle your cheek, the tips of his fingers brushing into your hair where it cups under your eat. Palm cooler than the average person due to the way his body ran cold, but your own warmth helped balance out the temperature difference from time to time. Your cheek felt like fire beneath this hand.

Bucky kisses you hungrily, a searing claim when he licks hot into your mouth and makes you whimper and shiver. Your fingers still hold his bearded cheeks as Bucky takes his time tasting you; Enjoying it far more than any whipped cream he could ever buy. Bucky parts only after he’s left you breathless, wiping a thumb at his bottom lip with a low chuckle. Your head is left to spin with your heart hammering in your ears.

“Been achin’ to kiss you like that all day,” Bucky confesses. Your lips tingle, mourning the loss of Bucky pressed against your like that. “You’ve had countless chances, Bucky - we’ve been here alone all day.” You defend while lacking a legitimate malice to your tone.

“It’s different,” you almost wave him off at the defense and make yourself busy with the whipped cream when Bucky elaborates. “I wanted to be soft with you today; I think we both deserve a little tenderness every once in a while. But sexy games give me a reason to kiss you like that.”

“Sometimes I struggle to believe that you’re the same stoic sergeant everyone quakes in front of.”

“I’m not; Not with you.” The words are raw, and it would make your heart turn to mush if you weren’t turned on by his kindness.

“You’re sexy when you’re sweet,” you coo, fingers brushing up his jaw to draw Bucky in for another quick kiss.

“And you’re sexy all the time, sunshine.” Bucky hums right back before meeting you partway for a small exchange of pecks. You both linger there for a moment, the kisses stolen not nearly as heady or heavy. Then you’re taking your turn. Parting lips and Bucky nearly chases your touch for more when you tut your tongue. A mock of his earlier tutting. “Aww,” you echo back to him, half condescending and half frisky. “I see it on your face, people are gonna think m’not taking care of my Buckybear.” though with your delivery, the words are far less menacing and end with you breaking the character to laugh, especially when Bucky is already crumbling into chuckles in front of you.

“‘Buckybear’?” Bucky parrots incredulously and entertained. “Trying out new nicknames,” you say with an innocent shrug, plucking up the spoon to get more cream on the utensil. “I think it’s cute.” “I like it,” Bucky agrees, shifting to get comfortable on the couch while his predatory gaze follows your hand. “It’s a nickname you gave me, just… Maybe let’s not let Sam hear this one.” “Does he still call you ‘Buckaboo’ sometimes?” You ask, momentarily distracted and appreciative that you and Bucky are able to break up seductive moments with cute ones. You’re convinced it’s proof you’re both truly in love to be able to be this casual and open with one another.

“Unfortunately. Torres heard Sam over the commlinks last week, both of them were dying of laughter.” Bucky deadpans, clearly not finding the situation as humorous as the boys did. You snicker with a shake of your head, assessing the spoon in your hand for a moment before setting it down in the container and abandoning it as a whole.

Instead, you pull your shirt up and over your head – stripping away the layer. The response it earns from Bucky fuels your confidence, the way he straightens up on the couch and wolf-whistles at each inch of skin you show off for him. Bucky always has a way of making you feel perfect; All your insecurities blanch when you were able to feel his comforting presence, always leaving you feeling loved and unequaled in your skin.

“Givin’ me a show, doll?” Bucky muses, a small tilt of his head while he studies you. “Why, enjoying the view?” You coo in turn, meeting Bucky with that same playful banter - this was a game after all, and games are meant to be fun. You discard the top haphazardly to the floor, no doubt to be gathered tomorrow morning.

“Oh absolutely. Got the prettiest baby in all of New York… I’m a very lucky man.” When Bucky speaks, his voice is thick and warms your face. Bucky is very much the flatterer.

“I know you like it when I say things like that,” doesn’t even hesitate to single you out on the thought. “When I remind you of how precious you are to me, sugar… Just how much I fucking adore you.” Bucky’s voice drips with lust and devotion. Utterly in love. It almost tempts you to drop the game before it gets too far in and have him now; Peel away the remaining layers separating you two and open your legs in an invitation for Bucky to fuck you so roughly into the couch that the legs break and the neighbors know Bucky’s name loud and clear.

God, you’re fucking whipped for this man.

Sometimes you’re still not prepared for the outpour of loving words; Still, you’re trying to remember that Bucky means the things he says and isn’t merely humoring you as exes have in the past. Bucky is nothing if not genuine.

“Keep sweet talking me, Sarge, and this game might end sooner than you want it to,” You warn with a coy smile before picking up the formerly abandoned spoon. “I’m bein’ honest,” Bucky defends, lifting his hands in a feigned and mischievous. “You know you love when I talk sweet to you, anyways, sugar.”

“You also know it makes me freeze up; I never know what to say things like that, Bucky.” a gentle reminder and your cheeks hurt from smiling - do you look stupid? Bucky would love you anyways, truth be told.

“Oh, but that’s the best part,” Bucky replies, leaning forward on the couch and closer into your bubble of space. Taking his time letting his eyes drink in the pretty sight you make for him without your top. “It turns you into putty, baby. You start floatin’ so easy, ‘s cute - it’s worth it gettin’ you cock-drunk in the end.”

You stutter - jaw clenching and you feel the tips of your ears burn. Bucky takes more sadistic amusement in the responses he pulls out of you. Plays you like a fiddle. It embarrasses you as much as it makes your thighs tighten and a wetness forms in your underwear. He works you up for fun. It’s maddening and exhilarating and perfect.

“Buckyyy,” you whine, pitiful and with a harmless scowl. Bucky’s laugh is rich and makes your face soften almost immediately. “Well, on with it, sunshine.” Bucky nods towards the spoon clutched between your fingers.

You take the moment to regain your composure. A deep breath - Attempting to shake out Bucky’s influence and his attempts to deduce you to a ditz so soon. Then, with the cold metal of the spoon, you smear a generous streak of whipped cream from your left clavicle to the top of your left breast.

When you lift your attention from your careful work, you find Bucky’s hungry eyes on you. Looking like a wolf preparing to strike his prey; Oh, to be littered with bites from Bucky’s mouth sounds like a dream.

“You’re bold tonight. I can already tell this is gonna be fun,” Bucky husks, voice low before moving into your space.

Right hand coming flush against your hip before smoothing up to frame your chest. He wedges himself between your legs, bringing your back flush with the arm of the couch as he looms over you; The semi that the soldier has been packing pressing prominently against your ass through his jeans. His vibranium hand brushes your hair out of your face, eyes studying you.

“You’re always so small under me...” Bucky hums, metal fingers brushing down your cheek as you lick some of the remaining whipped cream off the spoon; Putting on a show with the slow and deliberate lave it was the tip of his cock.

Bucky groans, his touch hardening where he holds your chest before lowering himself to let his hot mouth lick over your collarbone. Trailing down, his tongue glides across creamy sugar while littering open-mouth kisses to your flushed skin. His beard scratches against tender flesh and you keen underneath him - Bucky subtly presses tighter against your ass so his cock can make itself well acquainted and he growls low in his chest. Hot breath fanning over your flesh.

The soldier’s hot mouth threatens to go further, tempted to explore every inch of your delicate skin and leave you covered in hickeys. Bucky practices self-restraint, but not before licking up the swipe of whipped cream and suckling a deep hickey into your skin. The purpling skin is beautiful under his skillful tongue and you moan into the air of the living room.

May the best man win.

You’d both gone back and forth. After Bucky licked the mess from your chest and tasted the sugar on his tongue from a shared kiss, he had fun spraying whipped cream on his fingers.

Watching you have to take each digit between plump lips to suckle and lick the cream off. Beyond the sweetness of the cream, you could taste the roughness of his skin while he played with your tongue. Bucky even took the liberty of pressing his fingers to the flat of your tongue and holding your mouth open until you were drooling when there was no more cream left. When his fingers slip too far, you gag around the intrusion and Bucky grins.

He spits in your mouth to compensate for your time. You moan, thankful.

When it’s your turn again, you take the chance to shimmy your pants off next. Bucky licked his lips - watching you get undressed and not having to do a bit of the work but also being tempted with the inability to touch. Eager hands wanting nothing more to grip supple flesh and lay his claim while he takes you. With him. All good things come to those who wait.

You smeared whipped cream on your inner right thigh - dangerously close to your center and trailing towards your v-line. Bucky took his time settling between your legs. Kissed stamped to the inside of your calves, calloused hands smoothing out the outer of your thighs. Trailing upward, Bucky’s breath ever hot and the whipped cream threatens to drip.

Bucky catches the drop with his tongue before it can find the couch, licking up the inside of your thigh. His tongue makes you tingle and your brain stops working for a moment; shuddering under his touch and your toes curl. Bucky presses a kiss over the wet patch in your tight briefs and you hide your face. Your core quivers with want.

Bucky refuses to let you hide for long, working his way back up and gently prying your hands from your face. You share a heated kiss and sigh shakily against Bucky’s figure; Melting between him and the couch.

When it’s Bucky’s turn again, he takes a page out of your book and uses the opportunity to shed away layers. The jeans hugging his deliciously thick thighs are discarded, Bucky hiking up the plain black tee that left little to the imagination of the definition of his abdomen. It’s no mystery that Bucky was packed with muscle; Even in thick coats, you could still somehow always make out his distinct shape with rippling arms, a thick chest, and somehow a narrower waist. You’ve joked about him being a Disney princess once or twice.

The scoundrel smears the chilled spoon over his chiseled abs and for half a moment you’re in one of those steamy romance novels your mom would read and you’d giggle at.

You lap up the trail from over the concrete muscle down to Bucky’s groin - and he sighs out shaky and delighted. Hooded and heated eyes always watching you, you, you. Nothing else exists in the world to him other than your game. You feel a swell of pride knowing you have such a catch as Bucky; his thick fingers tangled in your hair and carding through as you innocently lick up the cream with a sinful tongue.

“Fuckin’ gorgeous, sunshine.” the words are drawled out lazily and hushed from Bucky’s swollen lips; He’s been chewing them and biting like crazy.

The tent in his briefs doesn’t surprise you at all - you’d be insulted if he wasn’t aroused.

Still, you’ve taken every task he’s given you like a champ. Bucky is running out of safe skin to present, and you’re in for the long haul. Winning or losing makes no difference to you. By the end of the night, it’ll be Bucky’s hands that have touched you and brought you to your climax. No one else. You’ve already won.

But that doesn’t stop you from sitting back and shivering when the cold metal touches your bare nipples. Smearing a generous amount of cream to both bare and pebbling buds. Bucky is simply excited to get his mouth on you in a way that isn’t so safe anymore. His lips close around your nipple and leave you gasping - sucking and rolling the bud against his skilled and velvety tongue.

You’re wet; fingers holding Bucky’s head, merely along for the ride as he circles the areola with the tip of his tongue before pinching the delicate skin between his teeth and making you cry out. So sensitive. He kisses your ache better before subjecting the other nipple to the same torment; Bucky’s hot and wet mouth is heaven and your body speaks louder than your wanton moans or words ever will. You want him so unapologetically, and Bucky knows it. Prides himself on it, even.

It’s only a matter of time before you’re out of whipped cream and both of your teeth have rotted from your skull from the sugar; Something has to give otherwise the both of you could be at this all night - would that be so awful, though?

Bucky could wait you out easily. Run you out of choices until all that's left to cover with cream are the places he wants to get his tongue on the most. That's too easy; the back and forth between you two is what helps sparks fly.

Your fun is interrupted on Bucky's turn. He's trying to swipe whipped cream on his chest when he fumbles the spoon; the dollop slides right off the flimsy metal and falls to Bucky's bare shin, trailing down to his foot.

Both of your noses scrunch. Bucky's look of disgust is quickly replaced though by a mischievous glint, the soldier raising his leg up to balance his heel on the couch cushion.

"Better hop to it, honey." Bucky singsongs.

You playfully swat at his thick thigh, hand wanting to linger just to feel the muscle under your palm. How easy it would be to glide up and cup his cock.

"I'm not licking your foot, Bucky." You stifle the words only because you can't contain the giggles.

"Rules are rules - unless that means I win…?" Bucky perks up, and ah, no wonder why he got all delighted. He sees this as his golden ticket win.

No way he's serious. Your relationship and dynamic is very experimentational, but feet aren't on the table - sorry, Bucky. Licking one of his boots is a different story, but that's for another day where you have more time and the sweet words are replaced with filthy titles and the soldier joins you in the bedroom rather than your loving and chaste boyfriend.

“I’m not licking your foot.” You reiterate, “Pick somewhere else, for real?” “Ah ah ah, Sunshine. When we started playing we agreed.” Bucky protests and you are tempted to steal that spoon away from Bucky and swat another spoonful of whip cream at him. Instead, you pout; trying to wiggle your way. “Oh c’mon.” Bucky knows you won’t do it, the pain in the ass that he is (and you adore).

“Then I win,” Bucky declares matter-of-factly, and really, has defeat ever been such a pleasure? You shrug your shoulders to acknowledge your defeat, flashing the man across from you a bashful smile. At least you don't have whipped cream sticky on your foot - you're the real winner in that case.

“That means you, sunshine, gotta get that sweet mouth of yours on my cock.”

“Yes, Bucky,” you agree with an airy giggle. “I know what going down on someone means.”

When you go down on Bucky, he’s kind enough to give you a pillow to kneel on between his thighs. It helps recompense for the iron-grip in your hair as he guides your head up and down the steady length of his cock.

You’ve long started to adapt to the girth by now. The first time you’d attempted to go down on Bucky, the thickness of his cock had overwhelmed you. You could only take so much before nearly sputtering - and vomiting during sex isn’t sexy. It left you to have to make up for what your mouth couldn’t reach with skilled hands pumping the base of his dick and playing with his balls.

Now you can take Bucky without gagging, and it’s worth it to watch his eyes roll into the back of his head when you suck his cock. You’re his pretty cock-sleeve and Bucky has no problem letting you know it:

“Yeah, that’s it… Such a slutty fuckin’ mouth, droolin’ all over me, baby.” His fingers fist your hair at the root, every pull a delicious sting as he guides your head up and down his cock. The corners of your lips stretching around the intrusion, eyes watering and everytime you moan at the way he fucks your mouth, it sends a vibration through Bucky’s cock that just has him reeling for more. “Oh, oh God… I’ve got the prettiest fuckin’ cocksucker - a work of art."

The words are filthy yet flattering; your chest fluttering while your hands brace on Bucky’s thighs. You keep your jaw slack, making the slide as easy for him as possible as the tip of his cock abuses the back of your throat. There's a certain fulfilment that comes with being used so filthily; Solely existing for Bucky's pleasure in that moment as he shifts from guiding you to thrusting.

Your nose buries in the neatly trimmed pubic hair, flush with his pubic bone every time he cants his hips up into your willing mouth. This is how all blowjobs tend to go. With you taking the lead before Bucky can't handle it anymore and pummels your poor mouth.

It leaves a delicious ache.

Drool slips down your chin, doe-eyes fixed on Bucky despite the bleary picture he makes with tears dripping down your cheeks. Your sounds are muffled yet still whorish; your skin prickled with heat and the knot in your stomach slowly building. You grind your hips into the air looking for something to hump. You whine when you find nothing; more drool pooling past your red mouth as Bucky tilts his head back into the cushions with a low moan.

"That's it, take it, take all of my cock, baby. Like you were fuckin' made for it, mm, my precious little fuckhole. God, I love you, love my messy whore."

Your head is swimming, all you can focus on is the feel of the cock thrusting in and out of your slack mouth while Bucky uses your hole to his delight. Even when your head feels light from the lack of air, you float happily and trust Bucky. Bucky always takes care of you.

He tugs your head up by your hair, pulling you off his cock, and only then are you able to swallow lungfuls of air; gasping with spit-slick lips and a gossamer connects you to the tip of Bucky’s flushed cock.

“Cock-drunk. Like I said.” Bucky playfully chides and you whimper pitifully in response. Bucky laughs condescendingly at how pathetic you are and your chest blossoms. His hand cups your face tenderly, vibranium fingers wrapped around his dick while he smears his cockhead against your cheek. You turn your head instinctively towards the cock, mouthing wet kisses up the length and Bucky barks out a laugh at how hungry you are.

“Fuck, when did you get so desperate? You’d think I never touch you.” He traces your lips with the flushed tip; your tongue darts out to lap up the pre-come.

“As if I don’t have you bent over the nearest surface every other day; Pumping you full of my seed and leaving you fuckdumb.” Bucky slaps the length against your cheek wetly. You tongue down his shaft, as much as Bucky’s clutch in your hair will allow, and mouth at his balls hungrily. Bucky groans low and primal in his throat.

“Dirty, dirty…” His hand comes to hold your jaw, tongue sliding past your loose and parting lips. Playing with your tongue, Bucky shakes your head like a dog and you mewl. Fingers curling into the flaps of his jeans from where you’d pulled them open. “Shh, you’re alright, honey. M’just playin’ is all, yeah, you’re so cute like this. So airheaded n’ dumb.”

You suckle on Bucky’s thumb, your reply coming in a pleased purr to have your mouth full again. It’s not his dick, but you’re more than happy to bob your head. Bucky bites his lips and grins wickedly.

“I love how stupid you get for me, baby. It’s absolutely adorable, knowin’ you’d let me do anythin’ I wanted to you,” Bucky coos all too lovingly for it to be merely lust and heat.

He slips his thumb from your lips and you chase the digit with a whimper; Mourning the loss. Bucky just grips your hair again and pulls you back to his balls.

“C’mon, sunshine, suck on my balls.” The weight in your mouth nearly has you salivating, sucking on Bucky’s balls and right where you’re meant to be; Worshipping this man.

His cock is heavy against your face as Bucky jerks off to the gorgeous and whorish sight you make for him. The bruent groans, stroking his cock as Bucky watches you intently mouth as his heavy sac; Saliva dripping all over his skin and making a mess. His cock jerks infront of you, pulsing and veins bulging.

“That’s it, good pet… So fuckin’ good, yeah, you’re so perfect — Fuck, what am I gonna do with you..?” Bucky guides your mouth back to his cock. Up the length and taking the head between your lips before swallowing him down entirely. Back to the steady bob as you moan around the intrusion and Bucky groans roughly into the thick and heavy air.

“I wanna fuck your face, sunshine,” Bucky rasps out, and you stutter your ministrations for half a moment to peer up at him in the helpless daze that consumes you. “Yeah, you like that idea? Don’ gotta do nothin’, honey, just let me use that pretty fuckhole of yours.” The words purred out so sweetly, you profusely nod. Eager to be of use. Pulling off his cock, you utter the word: “O-Okay…” “Good fuckin’ pet…” Bucky’s fingers thread delicately through your hair until he’s tightening the grip. Sinking you down onto his length yet again and forcing you to take every inch he gives you. It doens’t stop there. Instead the soldier braces his feet on the carpet alongside where you’re sat between his open thighs. He pistons his hips up - hitting your gag reflex and causing you to sputter around his cock.

There is no mercy. Bucky fucks up into your face, setting a progressive pace to allow you to slowly adjust but not for long. It’s only a few moments later that he’s fucking up into you like his own personal hole. Piercing steely eyes burning through you as he watches you choke and sputter on his impressive girth. It’s a mess of spit and tears that stream down your cheeks from the brutality of the face-fucking.

Heavy balls slap against your jaw and Bucky moans. You tingle between your legs, wet from being able to be a tool for Bucky. An object of pleasure; Something about it has always turned you on in being able to please your partner. There’s no better pleasure than Bucky using you like the fuckhole you’re made to be, and he lets you know that.

“God, baby, you were made for this. Should just keep you for this one day; Make you my pretty little fuckdoll and the only thing you gotta worry about is fuckin’ yourself stupid on my cock. You make such a pretty sight, fuck, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you…” The litany is breathless as Bucky continues to thrust his dick in and out of your welcoming mouth.

You choke and sputter; Face hot and eyes burning with tears that drip off your chin in fat droplets. Cries die in your throat, high off the euphoria of the moment and burning on the adrenaline of being used as a fleshlight. Your lips ache; His pelvis smacks into you every time he ruts his hips up. Bucky slides down your throat easily. He’s right. You’re made for it.

You don’t know how long it goes on for. Instead you ogle in heaven, seeing and feeling nothing but Bucky. Even through the wet and slick squelches of your mouth being used, you couldn’t be happier. You roll your hips to find nothing - you suppose that’s the punishment of losing the game. Only one of you get off.

He fucks your face until you’re dizzy and can’t breathe. When you fear you might sputter for air is when Bucky unravels; Your throat flexing around his cock and fingers feeling every now and again in your throat for the tell-tale bulge.

It’s when Bucky’s hips stutter and the dirty talk bleeds more into primal noises rather than words. Grunts through his teeth, low growls while he abuses your throat up until the moment Bucky’s hips jerk harshly. The movements stutter, and Bucky punches out a harsh gasp. Then you feel it.

The hot pump of his come down your throat; Filling you up.

You threaten to choke and Bucky hushes you, rubbing sympathetically over your windpipe. “Shh shh, that’s it, swallow every last drop, baby. Take it all…” He rolls his hips impossibly deeper into your sore jaw. You feel drunk and you weren’t even the one that got to ride out their orgasm. With a few last grunts and rolls of his hips, Bucky withdraws from your sensitive mouth. Half-soft cock falling and you greedily swallow for air.

Bucky pets you through it all - whispering out your praise. How good you did for him. How much he loves you.

You take a moment to recover, head pillowed on Bucky’s inner thigh as he pets your hair lovingly. You drool onto the denim of his jeans, and if Bucky minds, he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he watches you with loving eyes and a soft hum; As if this wasn’t the same man who just deduced you to his filthy fuckhole. If you didn't know any better, sometimes you'd think the man who fucks you and the man who bought you a book you'd been dying trying to find for Valentine's day were two separate people.

Bucky does it because he knows you love it. You could tap out any time with the special little word you both selected months ago when your sex life began to spicen up past vanilla rocking. But you don’t. No, you take it all and then some because it feels good and sometimes you’re convinced it’s what you were made to do.

You take your time recouping. Bucky rubs through your hair lovingly and affectionately, soft hums to add noise to the space. You smile, delighted, as if you’re the one who’s won and come. Calloused fingers trace the shape of your smile and you nearly preen. Slotting open your droopy eyes, you find Bufcky still there. Still sweet.

“You did so good, honey. M’so proud of you.” He praises, knowing now that he has your attention. Your grin splits and give him a toothy smile. “My sweet sunshine,” Bucky’s voice is soft and inviting, a lopsided grin on his chiseled features. You feel like the only thing in the world for a moment.

Although you want to talk, words don’t come easily and instead, you drag Bucky down into a languid kiss. Bucky groans at the taste of himself on you, but other than that, he’s chaste and gentle. Knowing when to play rough and when not to. It’s heaven when his lips move against yours so tenderly. Your heart still flutters like a teenager in love.

The both of you remain that way for a few minutes. Slow kissing even if you imagine Bucky’s back burns from the lean and your neck is starting to ache from how you crane it. Still, there’s nowhere you’d rather be than with Bucky.

“How about we head on to our room, sunshine, and I’ll take care of the rest?” Bucky purrs against your throat when he trails kisses down. The brush of his beard tickles and the feeling of his warm breath on your skin makes you happy to be alive.

“Actually,” you say after a beat, swallowing hard and clearing your throat. You pull yourself together as much as you can before leaning back and away from Bucky.

He eyes you with a mild look of concern as you prop back against the coffee table, reaching for the untouched can that Bucky had brought in with his game proposal. You pop the red cap off and it scatters to the floor below, lost. Then, pulling yourself up to sit on the edge of the coffee table, you shake the can. You lift your hips, shimmying out of the underwear you’d been left in - both of you are half naked at this point and you’ve seen one another countless times, you have nothing to hide.

The pair pools around your ankles and you use your foot to toss them, discarded like everything else that’s met the floor this evening - save for you. Bare legs spread, an open invitation and show. Bucky’s eyes light up, and you adore how he seems to treat everytime like the first time again, too.

“I was thinking about a round two,” you purr with newfound confidence and second wind; Spraying a strip of whipped cream down from your navel and disappearing between your legs. “What do you say, Barnes?”

“Oh, you’re on.”

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