#good news i got the hoop in tho

[lexisecretaccx]

A+ Student Pt.4

Masterlist!

(Fem reader, bit of angst.. ish? suggestive, dramaa , got a lot to catch up on so this is a pretty long part😚 you guys deserve it tho, not proofread!)

Summary: Y/n is a great student in her college, always getting good grades. Her college professor Matt, thinks she can get even higher ones with some “extra credit.” That is until she meets her new gym teacher..

(Quick little note: hey guys I haven’t written in a while so I may be a bit rusty but I hope it’s ok)

“How’d you get here so early?” Lizzy walks up to me, I’m sat on the bench where Chris’ stuff was previously. “Oh I.. I came in here at break to get ready before everyone.. I feel insecure for anyone to see me getting dressed.” I lie through my teeth, less than half hour ago the exact person who is teaching us this gym class was balls deep inside of me.

“You are stunning y/n,” Liz chuckles “no need to be insecure but okay.” She side hugs me gently. As the class fills up Chris walks through the door from the cupboard, the exact one we were.. you know. His eyes dart to mine and I awkwardly smile. “Okay girls, we have an important choice to make..” he starts to speak.

“You have a choice between what you wanna do in gym class, basketball with me or soccer with Ms Jones.” He clears his throat, “so uh.. stand on this side of the room if you wanna do basketball, and that side for soccer.” He points and shrugs. I stand up and follow Lizzy, she starts to walk to the Soccer side and I pause.

“Y/n? You love soccer right? Come on.” She smiles, “I’d rather.. step outside my comfort zone, you know.. push myself to try something new.” I smile enthusiastically, but the truth is I just wanna see Chris more. “Oh okay! I’m good at basketball I’ll do it with you.” She walks back over to me.

There’s about 8 girls on the basketball side and the rest are standing for soccer. I guess they’d rather have a female teacher, I would too if my teacher wasn’t so hot, but it’s pretty bare I don’t know how we’d do with 4v4 in basketball. “You won’t like this..” Chris talks to the class, interrupting my thoughts. “We have to mix the female and male classes,” complaints fill the gym.

“I know, I know you guys don’t like it but, because of the work being done on the boys gym, the boys need to come into here. Temporarily, and then the class can go back to normal and we won’t have to split it.. okay?” He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. All of a sudden, the boys pile into the gym.

Chris explains what either options are and all the boys start to pick a side. It’s fairly equal in the end, either side having a good amount of us but I start to feel anxious at the difference in how many girls are doing basketball compared to soccer. There’s a good 20 boys on this side.

The other group goes to the soccer field and we stay put. I get budged by a boy, he’s gotta be at least 6ft. “Ouch.” I mutter, he turns around to face me and I realise just how tall he is, the height difference is too different I don’t like it. “You alright? Sorry my friends push eachother around.” He chuckles awkwardly.

“I’m okay thanks.” I go to turn away and his hand places on the side of my arm, I tilt my head in confusion. “What’s your name? I haven’t seen you around.” He smiles, his brown eyes looking down at me. “I’m y/n, I tend to keep to myself.” I shrug. “I’m Mason.” He looks me up and down, “how tall are you?” He laughs lightly.

“I’m 5ft 3.. why?” I smile nervously. “I’m just worried how you’d do with a bunch of 6ft something boys playing basketball. You’re the shortest here.” He laughs. I hold back a smile, “I’ll be good. Bye Mason.” I rolls my eyes and I feel his gaze burning into me as I walk to Lizzy. “Flirting much?” She smirks, “no.. he’s not my type.” I shrug.

“Hmm sure.” She laughs slightly, I look over and see Chris looking at me, he turns his head to face the boys putting up the basketball hoops. I smile to myself, “ohh.” She whispers, drawing my attention to her, “hm?” She grins, “you like the teacher? I thought you liked Professor Sturniolo?” I shrug and sigh.

“Right let’s get into teams, we need two captains to pick the people for their team..” Chris spoke, “what about you Mason?” He scans the room, “no girls wanna be captain? Okay then Will you can be the other.” He smiles. His perfect smile.. perfect teeth. “Y/n.” Mason says my name and I look up to him, “what?” I awkwardly look around, “I want you on my team.” He looks down at me.

I look around, I’m the second person he’s picked.. why me? I know nothing about basketball and I’m not even his friend. “Oh.. okay.” I walk over to him. I see Chris glaring in the corner of my eye.

The teams get picked, Mason picked Lizzy because she’s my best friend, Which is nice I guess. They start to play, I don’t know much on basketball and I freeze when 5 boys rush past me to get the ball. “You okay?” Lizzy calls to me, she’s lucky she’s a tall girl. 5’9, she can keep up with them but I look like a lost puppy.

“No.” I say back to her and she chuckles before pointing next to me frantically, I turn and a basketball comes plowing into my face. I freeze again, not wanting to embarrass myself by crying but that fucking hurt like a motherfucker. I feel tears build in my eyes and Chris runs over to me, “hey you good?” He speaks softly and calmly, hands on my shoulders.

“I..” I go to answer but I just start crying. Without thinking he pulls me into his chest and hugs me. The sounds of feet scuffing on the ground stops, “you’re okay, just a scratch.” He smiles as I pull away from the hug and he turns my face, holding my cheek and observing the scratch. It feels like nobody’s here, it’s just us. Until..

“Everything good in here?” Its.. Matts voice? Chris’ hands drop off of me and all the other people are watching me. I feel nervous as Matt walks up to us, “I don’t have a class, thought I’d watch my brother teaching.” He spoke falsely as his eyes meet mine. “She ok?” He’s talking as if I’m not there. “Uh yeah.. gonna need to clean the scratch though.” Chris awkwardly chuckles.

“I can take her to clean it? Maybe she can explain how she walked out my class earlier.” He smiles, and a few ooos come from people around me. “Uh yeah okay.” Chris says, but I know deep down he doesn’t want me alone with Matt.

“Come on.” Matt motions me to walk with him. “Distracted in class?” He spoke up, breaking the short silence. “Uh no. I wasn’t looking and it came out of nowhere.” I shrug. “At least Chris was there to give you a little comfort hm?” He spoke harshly and sarcastically. I just hum in response.

“Where’d you go when you stormed out of class?” He turns into the janitors closet, where the med kits are kept and I follow. “To the bathroom.” I lie, “don’t lie to me y/n.” He sits me down on a stool and grabs a med kit off the shelf. “I’m not..” he cuts me off by shushing me. “You went to gym class didn’t you? Wanted to practice? I bet you weren’t practicing basketball were you?” He hisses as he leans down with an alcohol wipe in his hand.

“I.. what do you” I breathe in sharply as he pushes the wipe on my face without warning, the stinging causing my eyes to water. “Ow.” I look up at him, blue eyes burning into mine. “You think I didn’t try to find you after you didn’t come back? I did.” He seems hurt.. does he know? He grips my chin and turns my head to get better access to the scratch which is bleeding lightly.

“What do you mean?” I speak innocently and he groans. “You’re a slut.” He smirks, “fucking slut.” He stands up and bins the wipe. “A slut? What do..” he cuts me off, “stop asking me what I mean y/n. You know exactly what I’m saying, you and Chris were.. practicing in the gym closet hm?” He sighs. My face goes red.

“I didn’t.. you were flirting with that new girl, I just..” I also sigh, he scoffs, “flirting? Don’t turn this on me, I wouldn’t have done anything with her but you? You brought it upon yourself to..” he grumbles as his eyebrows knit together, “well if you don’t want anything with me why should it matter? You said it yourself, you don’t wanna lose your job.” I smirk.

“I thought you wanted me y/n.. me.” His voice cracks slightly but he collects himself and leans against a shelf. “I’m a college student Matt, I’m gonna fuck as many people as I want and can, don’t take it personal.” I laugh. “You don’t get it y/n..” “no you don’t get it Matt.. I wanted you, so badly, I still do but Chris? He hasn’t treated me like shit.” I lean my head back.

“I’m sorry y/n. I just love my job I don’t wanna lose it.” He whispers, “you’ve made that clear professor Sturniolo. Thanks for helping with this scratch.” I get up and walk out the closet. He follows after me. I’m being dramatic I know, I’m making this about me, it’s his job and he loves it I shouldn’t try to get it the way but.. “Maybe I could show you that I do care?” He whispers as he catches up with me. “What do you..” I look at his face, his pupils have dilated and he’s smirking.

“Oh..” I turn to him, “what changed your mind?” I chuckle lightly, “I imagined Chris’ face when I tell him I fucked you better than he did.” He whispers his face full of lust, I fight my instincts to kiss him, because of cameras. “you really shouldn’t be so competitive.” I smile as I continue to walk. “Where can we go?” He mumbles.

“I’m not doing it with you right now, I’m still worn out from.. basketball?” I lie even though Matt knows what I mean, there’s a janitor at the end of the corridor. “Oh okay.” He fake pouts as I turn into the gym, “I’ll text you.” I smile before we part ways.

As I enter the gym, Chris walks up to me. “All good now?” He asks, tilting his head. “Yeah.” I smile lightly before I walk up to Lizzy, “you seem happy?” She laughs, “yep all good.” I feel someone’s hand on my shoulder and they turn me around. Mason, I forgot about him. “I’m so sorry, on behalf on James. Your cheek okay?” His hand hovers over the fading scratch.

I pull away from him, “yeah it’s okay thanks, maybe get James to apologise to me himself instead of you.” I look over at James, who waves awkwardly. “Copy that.” Mason spoke, stifling a chuckle. “Why are you laughing?” I ask, “Im sorry it’s just.. don’t worry.” He pats my shoulder and walks away.

Lizzy goes to say something but I stop her, “don’t. I’m not into him.” She laughs, “he’s into you though, why aren’t you into him? He’s tall, brunette, brown eyes, strong.. he’s the whole package.” I huff, “if he’s so amazing why don’t you ask him out?” I speak impatiently. “Because I’m.. I’m uh not into tall people.” She chuckles awkwardly.

“There.. you aren’t into his height and I’m not into his.. everything.” I smile softly.

Class ends and we sit in the gym, “wanna skip Math?” Lizzy speaks up, budging my arm to get my attention. “Where would we go?” I ask curiously, “the bathrooms? We can make a fake out of order sign and chill in there.” I laugh and grab her face, “Lizzy you genius!” I bring our faces close before letting go.

She clears her throat, “they don’t even use out of order signs anymore, they write it on paper it’s easy to copy.” She smiles at me and I quickly pull out my notebook, I hand her the notebook and a pen and she scribbles down “out of order.” She grabs tape out of her bag and sticks it on the top.

We run to the bathroom and stick the note on a door and sit in the cubicle. She sits on the toilet seat and I’m on the top of the toilet, where the flush is. My legs are either side of her and I accidentally kick her. “Sorry.” I whisper.

We hear someone enter the door and they start talking, “I’m telling you, I would climb him like a tree, have you seen his tattoos?” It’s the new girl, Kelly. “Not my type Kel.” Some girl speaks back, “yeah you love stuffing yourself full of bbc don’t you.” Kelly laughs loudly, “don’t say it like that, but.. basically yeah.” They start to giggle.

“Also how can you have a crush on a teacher? That’s like weird.” The other girl spoke, me and Lizzy are staying silent. “Yeah I wouldn’t do anything with him, I wish I could but maybe I’ll hit him up once we’re out of college.” She laughs, and they leave the bathroom.

She was talking about Matt.

A/n: ooooo, drama. Sorry for the long break, my posting is gonna be pretty messed up because your girl has appointments😚 but anyways.. y’all know I love to add to the plot so we’re plotting super hard rn, I need to feed y’all, ur basically my children fr<3 anyways I’ll stop yapping but dw you may get some Matt smut soon? Whattttt🙈 Also who tf is Mason bro💀 bros obsessed.

Anyway hope it was ok, I haven’t written in ages.

Taglist: @blahbel668 @mattsleftnipple03 @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @hysteria-things @mattybslover @jakevwebber @braindead4l @mattybearnard @st7rnioioss @junnniiieee07 @bueckerslover @fratbrochrisgf @sturniol0s @alwayssublimedelusion @certifiednatelover @freshsturns @riasturns @sturniololvrrr @maryx2xx @whicked-hazlatwhore @cammie4298 @sturnsjtop @sturnzblog @chr1sgirl4life @evie-sturns @milasturniolo @jaxyy219 @mattsturniolosbae @h3arts4harry @littlebookworm803 @realqueenofpepsi @elsxz1

[kindnessisweakness2]

9

Since Jax convinced her to come back to the party, Emily had to admit she was having a good time. Her and Jax sat at the bar surrounded by his brothers all telling stories in their drunken stupour. Jax's hand never left her as she sat on the stool next to him, moving between her thigh, hip or around her shoulders. She had to admit that it was nice. His warmth radiating through her. "Hey Jax." Emily watched as the young blonde barely clothed woman draped herself over him. She kicked herself mentally when she felt it. The stomach punch. She barely knew him. And as much as she would've liked to pull the ditzy blonde by her bottle bleached hair and smash her face into the bar top for touching him, she had no right to. Turning back to the rest of the boys she tried to ignore them both. Making eye contact with Opie, she was greatful for the smile he threw her way. "So you've obviously got some amazing ink lass! What about your piercings?" Chibs asked and Emily was grateful for the distraction. "Oh well I have a few! I have all the ones you can see on my ears." Turning her head from side to side Emily pointed to the colourful additions. "I have the hoop in my nose, did have a septum but I don't wear it anymore. I did also have snakebites in my lips but took them out." Poking out her tounge she showed them the pink pill tounge bar she had in. "Best thing about this tongue bar? It vibrates!" She grinned and threw a wink at happy. "Other than that I just have my belly and my nipples." Halfsack leaned on the bar, staring at Emily. "I think I'm in love." Opie shoved him, rolling his eyes. "Ignore the perv." Emily laughed, they really were amazing people. If you were accepted into the fold they made sure you felt welcome. "So are you some weird chick that likes the pain?" Happy questioned her and Emily couldn't help but laugh. "Nah I'm a little bitch when it comes to needles. Tattoos I'm fine with but piercings? I have to build myself up to get them." Feeling an arm being thrown around her shoulder and smelling the familiar perfume, Emily knew Cara was back. "Yeah! You should've seen her for her nipples! First one took it like a champ. 2nd one? She screamed blue bloody murder. Shouting about her soul leaving her body and that she was scared her titty was gonna fall off!" Emily could feel her cheeks tinge pink at Cara's words. Turning to face her friend who's lips were obviously swollen and the messy sex hair gave clear answer as to what she'd been up to, Emily grinned as she heard the men around her laugh. "Okay! It hurt like a motherfucker! And it was damn cold in that room topless. Asshole didn't even put the heating on!" Cara rolled her eyes at Emily, leaning forward to grab a drink. "Their sexy as fuck tho. The difference after - mind blowing." Cara widened her eyes nodded her head to emphasise her point. Emily rolled her eyes gently shoving Cara. "Juice level Mind blowing?" Cara shook her head grinning wide as she leaned over the bar top. "I have so many details to give you later Em! You wouldn't believe." Emily laughed at her sex drunk friend. She had a feeling juice would be making a regular appearance while Cara was here.

Glancing to her side, Emily watched a frustrated Jax still arguing with the blonde girl. He hadnt moved from his seat next to her and somehow that managed to wind the blonde up even more. Emily tried to give them privacy talking with the other guys and Cara but the girl was growing louder and louder. "You haven't saw me in weeks. It's like your not interested in me at all since that new bitch came around." The girl flung her arm in Emily's direction, fully starting to have a tantrum. Emily prayed silently to a god she didn't believe in that this wouldn't be another fight. Jax was none of her business. Turning her head to look around the busy party, Emily tried to tune out the argument. Cara and the guys were now deep in convosation. Crow eaters lined the walls chatting to one another, others hung over men as they sat and drank their beers. They definately had a weird family dynamic but for the most part it was nice. Everyone was taken care of, all one big dysfucntional family. It wasn't long before Emily made eye contact with Gemma as she leaned against one of the walls, Clay sat on a chair infront of her. Gemmas arms draped over his shoulders lovingly staking her claim. There was something in Gemmas eyes that didn't sit well with Emily but she couldn't quite pin point exactly why.

The sound of a loud smack made Emily's head turn fast. Her eyes widened in shock as they landed on a pissed Jax, now with a clear red hand mark on his face. Anger filled her chest and was probably clear to see on her face. Emily stood up stepping between Jax and the angry woman, as she saw her hand pull back to go for a second hit. " Okay. You had your one hit your not getting another." Emily stared down the woman infront of her. "Oh so your new bitch protecting you now?" The blonde spat over Emily's shoulder towards Jax. "Enough. You've said your piece, you've had your smack. Leave." The girl scoffed in Emily's face, making anger boil in her stomach. "You think I'm taking orders from his new whore?" Emily could feel the redness creep up her neck for the second time that night. "Look, you and half of charming know what kind of man he is. You fooled yourself thinking you could be the one to change him. Don't worry sweetie, we've all done it. Falling in love with the bad boy, convinced he'll love you and change his ways. But he hasn't. And he won't. Like I said, you've had your tantrum, you've had your 1 slap. Take the L and walk out gracefully." Emily stepped forward so she was toe to toe with the girl. "Because if you don't I'm going to drag you out of here by your cheap ass extensions. You see, I'm not the kind of girl to sit by and ignore when someone's clearly being harassed. No means no. Regardless of gender. And I heard him say no and ask you to leave multiple times." Emily grinned wide, her anger still high. " So what you choosing sweetie? You walking yourself out or am i gonna have to give you a hand?" The girl was clearly thinking over her options as she rolled her eyes and stayed silent. Emily didn't move a muscle, maintaining eye contact to show this bitch she wasn't backing down. "whatever. He ain't all that any way." The girl scoffed again, looking Emily up and down. "Yeah you keep telling yourself that, sweetie. Just remember it wasn't him stood openly begging you for a scrap of attention. Take yourself home, get some self respect and learn that when someone says no it means fucking no!" Emily shouted back at the scorned blonde as she stomped her way out of the clubhouse. Silence fell in across the room, everyone eyeing her, but Emily didn't give a shit.

Turning around to a shocked and silent Jax, Emily placed her hand on his red cheek, checking for any damage. "Her nails caught you abit but there's not much blood. You'll be fine Teller." Smiling at him, she slipped back into her seat as the music and chatter of the clubhouse started back up again. Emily felt better once everyone's eyes were off her, her stomach not twisting in anger anymore. Part of her really enjoyed how easy she slipped back into convosation with the guys, finding comfort in the laughs and banter. Jax's hand finding it's place on her thigh again causing the already familiar sparks to shoot up her spine.

What Emily didn't see though was the look Gemma and Clay shared as they watched the interaction unfold, and how easily Jax melted into her after. Something about that moment made Gemma realise Emily was going to become a permanent fixture around their family, even if Jax and Emily didn't yet.

[fruitbasketball]

wnba recap 6/23

WELCOME. TO. THE MOTHAFUCKIN. W.

AYYYYYYYY welcome back everyone we have SUCHHHHHH. a good day of hoops to cover so let’s get into it 🙏🏽

new york liberty vs. atlanta dream

good lord atlanta is ass bro like respectfully. i’ve recapped like 3-4 of their games by now and i don’t think their team efficiency has breached 40% i’m so deadass. dubbing them the asslanta dream because holy fuck HOW are you shooting a cool 16.7% from 3.

imma cut y’all some slack bc i know y’all miss rhyne rn but damn bro. let’s get it together yeah? tina charles you always do what huskies gon do. 19/7. i like it but you gotta move baby girl you gotta get traded. tina charles to golden state dear lord 💀

miss breanna stewart i am just asking for some consistency 😭😭😭 PLEASE BRO PLEASE. anyway sabrina with a double double on assists (26/11) jj double double on boards (15/11)

and liberty win because… if they didn’t it would’ve been embarrassing!! anyway!

dallas wings vs washington mystics

i say the mystics play dallas all season so that dallas get a higher pick and mystics actually win games because this is two games in a row that they bent dallas over and fucked them.

speaking of being bent over and fucked - emily. engstler. 100% from 3. 13 points 4 rebounds in 25 minutes like CAN Y’ALL FUCKIN PLAY HER??? THANK YOU GOOD GOD.

good production from the dc starting lineup except julie vanloo but she’s normally solid.

meanwhile the dallASS wings are 3-13 and have officially won less games than the mystics. tank for paige officially successful thank you dallas.

rike bro quit shooting the ball like that dawg im BEGGING you. thank you natasha howard for 26/8. arike take notes 💀 teaira mccowan don’t touch a court for a while. man y’all are embarrassing me bro this is a TEXAS TEAM CAN YOU-

i miss satou. can y’all play lou some more too?? and lani??? like DAMN!

anyway painful box to review and i’m sure painful to watch but congrats on win #4 for washington… i don’t claim dallas

connecticut sun vs seattle storm

man i swear connecticut JUST played seattle bro this league too damn small. anyway nika didn’t play so if that’s what anyone’s looking for: scroll.

everybody sleeping on sds but she had 8 assists today so y’all stay sleeping!! idgaf!! good team effort from the seattle starting lineup tho like it’s very even contribution/satisfying stat sheet yfm.

yeah i wouldn’t play sami whitcomb either so not gonna say tm ab that. jewell ily but make a 3? maybe? idk? matter of fact nobody in this game today could make a 3 like seattle shot 25% and connecticut shot fucking 14.3%. shit efficiency all around but i’ll chalk it up to good defense. i hope.

connecticut just had a bad game like nai didn’t contribute like she normally does, everyone in the starting lineup was p inefficient except for AT.

end of the day, the sun just got outplayed. they got outscored in the paint, were less efficient from all 3 levels, and got to the line more but failed to finish.

indiana fever vs. chicago sky

i know you bitches were waiting for this one

ANGEL REESE. ROTY. GIMME. THAT. SHITTTTTTTT

chicago eke out a win but what a night for the rookies. a double double for caitlin clark, a double double for the twin towers - everybody gets a double double!!

except marina mabrey. who can’t make a fucking free throw apparently. aight this is why i don’t watch chicago that white lady piss me off bro.

no actually let’s talk about this because 2-fucking-14 from the field is diabolical. i don’t care if you had 5 boards and 4 assists. YOU WERE 1-10 FROM 3!!!! QUIT TAKING THE FUCKING SHOT BRO 😭😭😭😭

chennedy carter you a dawggggg

angel reese: 25 points and 16 boards. you’re reading that right. 16 boards. DAWG behavior. she a DAWG.

indiana… hey girl :( what’s wrong :( y’all not like that??? nah fr tho respect to nalyssa smith bc going head to head w angel reese is hard and she came out of it with 13 points 7 boards and… 5 fouls but dw about that.

obv a double double for caitlin but she’s consistently been fouling these past few games which forces me to think that she is in fact playing some semblance of defense. potentially. i hope.

kristy wallace never touch a court again. that play at the end was embarrassing. it was humiliating. it was painful to watch. what is this team’s game plan bro like. can y’all screen for caitlin??? her last name is basically clutch like SET HER A FUCKING STAGGERED SCREEN??? and GET HER THE BALL!!!

anyway that was good tv i personally enjoyed myself quite a bit and there’s smth… so interesting… ab playing not like us in this specific environment. i appreciated it.

SEE Y’ALL SOON AND SEND ME YOUR THOUGHTS!!!! WE BACK BABYYYYYY

[gins-potter]

Ummm hello yes I am alive and having thoughts about season 9. I feel like I don’t talk about the new seasons that much bc let’s be real everything post s4 has been shades of crap. But I’m having thoughts so here we go.

Maybe shouldn’t have started with Bloom bc like… I kinda hate it lmao. Or not even hate it, I feel like that implies stronger feelings than I actually have. It just sucks.

The plaid leggings are awful, the skirt could have been cute (even with the ruffle which I don’t love) but then they had to throw glitter on top, and then whatever that atrocity of a jacket/vest is?

The top underneath, the belt, and the jewelry are all fine but that’s like really not saying much lmao.

Oh Stella… I mean like it’s fine? I could totally picture Stella wearing something like this, it’s just kind of bland? I vibe the dress and the turtleneck underneath but @drops-of-moonlights suggested that they should have added a belt and a jacket and I agree.

Also, I feel like, for better or worse, Stella’s fashion was always very over the top and had a lot going on. So to give her the most basic outfit out of all the girls just feels a bit wrong.

The pigtails are cute tho.

(Also are those orange leggings she’s wearing or is the colour on her legs just janky? I do not vibe orange leggings).

I feel like this dress could have been cute in orange which would throw back to the original palette and also breaking up what is a lot of pink across the six girls.

Also @nijaki summed it up best.

Lmao this is going to be kind of hypocritical considering what I just said about Stella’s but if Stella had too little going on then Flora absolutely has too much going on.

I fucking love her little green jacket and the cut of the dress but I feel like the pattern is a bit much (maybe it should have been just like pink with pale pink flowers on it or something?). Then add in whatever the green and purple section is, and the jewelry, and belt and it’s just like enough!

I do love a big hoop on Flora tho.

Musa’s is definitely one of my faves! It’s very much giving biker chick which is a vibe I love for her. If Riven gets a somewhat similar look they’re going to be a very cute looking couple.

Thank god one of the girls got a palette completely free of pink and I personally love the red coming back.

It’s a really good blend of masculine and feminine fashion and as much as I don’t love the gloves, I do appreciate them as a nod to 2000’s fashion.

Also the short pigtails!!! You guys know I’m a short haired!Musa truther.

Tecna for me is a I love it! with a massive But attached. I love it as long as the artificial/articulated joints are either purely aesthetic or some kind of prosthetic (unlikely but a girl can dream). I’m not here for robot Tecna, it’s a headcanon that has always felt a little too on the nose for me, plus I don’t think it’s a good look for a character who can definitely be read a autistic coded.

I love the skirt and leggings look for Tecna and tbh my only critique is I wish they’d just picked one metallic for the outfit. Like either all that purple-y colour or all silver (I personally really like the silver) but otherwise the outfit is amazing.

Also that hair? 👏🏼🙌🏼😍🔥

I mean, there’s not much for me to say about Layla because she just looks fucking amazing. The bright colours 🔥 The hoodie and skirt 🔥 The braids 🔥 What we can see about her boots 🔥 Like she just looks freaking amazing and almost definitely my favourite look of the six.

[fabiochampioraro]

Okay this might be random, but I think you are the only one I know who can answer this.

A way back, you said the rope in rg was eliminated from the all around for "safety" reason as the gymnast got hurt by it. (And I also remember reading from you it was because Russian gymnast are not really good with it).

My question is, if it's a dangerous apparatus, why it has not been removed rom the group rotations and it's only out for individuals? And why hasn't the FIG searched for an alternative for this apparatus or new materials to not hurt the gymnasts?

Very late, i'm so sorry dear @42bakery, but i'll try to answer anyway...

Well the "official" reasons the international federation gave for eliminating rope for seniors (since 2011 individuals stopped the apparatus rotation and stuck to hoop/ball/clubs/ribbon, senior groups stopped using it after 2018), thus relegating it only for juniors groups, that have two 5x routines in groups, as you can see in the official 2019-2029 apparatus distribution, were the following:

1 that normal people thought rope was an “easy” apparatus because children play with them, and therefore too “basic” for the senior girls. BllShT.

2 that the rope was not visible on video, during throws, body difficulties, for some reason. and FIG wanted RG to become more rizzle dazzle or something...well it was kinda true with the definition quality we had years ago tbh, this isn't the case in nowadays tho.

many of us fans can't help to think that in reality the decision was made because russian gymnasts were not at enormous advantage with it, and it's easily seen in the list of European and World rope medalists. v*ner, russian head coach since 1992 and wife of one of p*tin's oligarch bffs, wants her trainees to win everything be fairly or with bribed juries, code of points made for her faves, pushing hate campains on everyone that stands in russia's way. Also keep in mind that some of russia's medals were achieved with quite obvious overscoring, like those of olga kapranova...

she was crowned world champion with this routine (you can also watch this video of her with ribbon in the same competition to spot more subtle errors that a newbie or casual fan may not know, she also won the all-around with performances like that).

FIG never intended to find a replacement for rope, they just stopped the apparatus rotatiting every 2-4 years, that's it. I think that it was to try to appeal artistic gymnastics fans, more precisely us american fans they even pumped Laura Zeng's execution score astronimically, who are used to four apparatuses.

[9ndreus]

Thanks @indigovigilance for the tag in your post! 🥰 (side note: I'm so curious to read what you end up writing related to biblical apocrypha)

[TAG SOMEONE YOU WANT TO KNOW AND/OR SOME OF YOUR BESTIES]

favorite color: maroon/wine and also I'm obligated to say black since that's basically all I wear (totally not Crowley-coded; who said that)

last song: Si Estuviésemos Juntos by Bad Bunny (it might or might not remind me of ineffable divorce... 🥲)

last movie: Polite Society!

currently watching: starting OFMD season 2! (somehow miraculously avoided spoilers)

other stuff I watched this year: Trigun (moreso the manga tho; queer angst subtext), Revolutionary Girl Utena (gay and weird!), and Los Espookys (also gay and weird!).

shows I dropped this year: Ted Lasso...

currently reading: Deadbeat Druid from the Adam Binder series (gay! witchcraft! and stuff!)

currently listening to: literally a playlist called pov: ur in an 80s film driving at night

currently working on: Well... I've got (checks notes) about 50 Good Omens posts in drafts... But the main stuff I'm currently working on is some deep-dive trope research which has been WILD... And a couple things for a potential new alt fanart account... And debating the feasibility of a Good Omens themed aerial hoop duo cosplay photoshoot (unlikely, but it would be so epic)...

current obsession/s: ahahahaha definitely not Good Omens. Nope I am absolutely normal about this show 👀

Nooo pressure at all to join in, but tagging a few moots whose stuff I enjoy 😊: @theonevoice @ineffablefood @ineffableteeth @phoen1xr0se @0owhatsamsays @finnthewizard

[extemporaneousmusings]

31/3/23

Today I:

-got new jewelry for one of my nose piercings! It’s finally one hoop and one stud which is what I always envisioned for myself but was just too lazy to get things switched out, but I lost one of the balls to one of my studs this week so it was forced upon me and I’m very glad to realize my aesthetic vision finally.

-finished six of crows after starting it yesterday afternoon! Reading a book for pleasure should not feel like an act of defiance but my advisor has told me so many times that I shouldn’t be doing anything outside of my dissertation that even the simple act of reading a novel feels illicit. (She’s giving me terrible advice and I know it but it’s still hard to excise her from my mind.)

-hit my word count :) mainly writing about military history which is 🤮 but I gotta deal with it

-went to a minor league hockey game with my ride or dies, H&Al. We were supposed to be good and lost 11-0 so…idk. But that score is absolutely hilarious. No fights tho unforch. But our seats were sick—surrounded by season ticket holders who were very upset at how shitty the team was playing.

[butmakeitgayblog]

May I ask your advice? I’m in a weirdly complex relationship situation. Got married 7 years ago to a dude, great person and everything, just realized I was queer about 3 years in. 5 years in I had to admit to myself I’m just gay and needed to figure shit out. Well, we’ve been going through a slow (1.5 yrs) separation to make sure we’re being kind and respectful to each other’s hearts and everything, and we got to the “seeing other people while the state we unfortunately reside in takes 9000 years to process the divorce” stage. And then I met someone. She’s understanding but also understandably a lil wary of “that” scenario, but knows the deal and as far as I can tell seems all in? But like… isn’t a very prolific communicator and I’m tripping over myself trying to build something while walking on all these eggshells because I’m scared of spooking her by getting too attached too quickly. She’s fully chatty and engaging and isn’t standoffish by any stretch, and I’m pretty sure all the worry is just in my own head, but like how do I gage if I’m overdoing it or not???? With dudes it’s easy. Oh and also the soon-to-be-ex is cool with it, but I think the fact that he exists is a ‘commitment deal breaker’ for her right now and I don’t know how to navigate.

I'm so sorry, I just realized I never asked this. This got kicked down in my inbox and somehow I forgot it, and now I feel like an ass cuz I know it's been here forever 😬 idek if you guys are still together at this point. Epic fail on my part

Honestly tho, from what little information there really is here, it sounds like you've done the best you can do. You're open about how you feel, and despite what weird ~cringe~ culture might try and say, that is a good thing. Yeah there is a line where interested becomes overbearing, but generally people put out signs of that. If you notice she's constantly reiterating to you that she's fine and likes you, you might be pressing the issue.

It sucks but at some point you have to just trust people at their word. If she's sayings she's into you, then believe it, even if she's not in the place to commit. And if she's saying that the whole ex deal makes her wary, then give her time. Let her see that your attention is on her and not him. Let her see that you guys aren't interested in each other like that anymore. In the end one of two things will happen, either she'll get the picture that you're actually single and only interested in her just like you said and realize her hesitation wasn't necessary, OR, she won't. In which case, it just wasn't meant to be. But either way, at the end of the day a relationship is never gonna be built on one person jumping through hoops to prove themselves/anything to the other. If she cares about you she won't want that either, she just needs time to figure her own shit out. Just relax, enjoy her company and all the fun parts of a new relationship 💕

[stellarsalad]

This thing on?

Hello! Uh... this is a test post.

I'd like to say that I'm not a robot. And while I can't prove this, here's some statements I don't think a robot could come up with:

While Steely Dan may not have a best album, they have likely never made a bad album. Can't Buy A Thrill did nothing for me when I listened to it all, though. (However, Reelin' In The Years is great, and Do It Again is a thoroughly impeccable song. It's a song I knew for years, but it's the one that finally got me into the band.)

Countdown To Ecstasy is very, very good, and while I wouldn't call it a no-skip, no songs on it are ones I dislike. My Old School is awesome and the Dan's most accessible song, and unless you're like me (your parents played them a lot as a kid so they grew on you hereditarily) it's the song I would share with you as an introduction to them. (Unless you're my composer friend, in which case I would play you the title track of Aja first.) Other highlights I love are Bodhisattva and Show Biz Kids. (I don't know if Rent would exist if Jonathan Larson had listened to Show Biz Kids.)

I have barely listened to Pretzel Logic at all. I've never really liked Rikki Don't Lose That Number, but Any Major Dude Will Tell You is pretty great and maybe their sweetest song. Which is very valuable from a band that by and large revels in cynicism and seediness.

I also have barely listened to Katy Lied, probably because Everyone's Gone To The Movies is scaring me away from it. But Black Friday slaps, and I discovered Doctor Wu a couple days ago and liked it immediately.

The Royal Scam is pretty guitar-heavy. Kid Charlemagne and the title track feel like siblings musically and both are excellent. The Caves Of Altamira and Don't Take Me Alive are both great too - but I think my favorite from it is Everything You Did. It's a surprisingly strong earworm, and "turn up the Eagles, the neighbors are listening" is just too funny for me. (I also have Eagles thoughts! Hotel California sucks but otherwise they are a good band.)

Aja... yeah, this kind of is their masterpiece, I gotta admit. I still haven't gotten into I Got The News and I still don't like Josie much, but the rest of the album is so, so great. I got into the title track most recently, and the instrumentation of it just feels so epic. But Deacon Blues... is the song that, when I first heard it, turned me from a Do It Again enjoyer into someone who wanted to listen to more Steely Dan. And yet, Home At Last is probably my favorite song from Aja. Aja is an album that still has some of the Dan's cynicism, but Aja and Home At Last are both very earnest songs that make me feel things.

But Gaucho... aw yeah. Gaucho is just as good as Aja if not better. I don't understand how such a chill album can absolutely go so hard. Yacht rock is a term I enjoy using derisively (like 'butt rock', but not like nu metal, a genre I do have legit admiration for)

Babylon Sisters: my dad loves this song. I hated it until I was twenty. And then once I got into the title track I finally had to admit that Babylon Sisters was good. Because I finally appreciated it. Especially the coda.

I am getting closer and closer to giving Hey Nineteen another chance, but right now it just feels TOO seedy and sleazy for me. Yes, I understand that the Dan's stories are almost never aspirational narratives. Still, tho. I need a little bit longer to get used to it.

Glamour Profession: speaking of narratives that are not aspirational, I heard the joke once of "the moral of Gaucho is that drugs and adultery are awesome" and Glamour Profession is very high on the drugs axis. To quote Layer Cake, "I'm not a gangster. I'm a businessman whose commodity happens to be cocaine." Anyway this song rules. Hoops McCann is an awesome name.

Gaucho: This is definitely the last straw that got me into Steely Dan for good. This song is so good it convinced my dad Donald Fagen was gay. The lyrics are awesome. All I know about the gaucho in this song is that he's sexy as hell, so why wouldn't your husband want to cheat on you with him? Would you like to do the same? Also, have a thoroughly beautiful instrumental bridge that shows you the beautiful world and brings you crashing back down to reality.

Time Out Of Mind: how is a song both relaxing and exciting. this whole album is yacht rock done to perfection. no other album-length example of the genre will ever be this good, sorry Christopher Cross. oh yeah, the lyrics are about drugs again lol. ft. Mark Knopfler!... for like 40 seconds? eh well, glad to have him here

My Rival: This song is confusing to me lyrically about what it's about but it's still great. I think this is the other song on Gaucho that could have convinced my dad that Donald Fagen (or Walter Becker) was gay

Third World Man: haven't listened much, too mellow for me so far.

The Second Arrangement: yeah, that's right. This song slaps and would have fit flawlessly on Gaucho as another track on the adultery axis. gosh, if Gaucho was a double album... if only, if only.

I have barely heard Two Against Nature (I'd have chosen Midnite Vultures to win AOTY instead and The Marshall Mathers LP should probably have won out of the nominees for cultural impact, and Cousin Dupree is a bit much for me to listen to it yet) or Everything Must Go (Godwhacker is pretty good tho).

anyway, Steely Dan is a great band. Thank you for reading! This was fun to write, maybe I'll do this more.

[ventismacchiato]

i am making bread.

in the bread maker tho bc a bestie doesnt feel like putting in all the effort rn to make bread by hand rjdhdkhdjdnd

anyyways i got my new jewlery in. took me forever and changing from a stud to a hoop for my nostril piercing was a bitch and kinda hurt ngl 😭 ik its just bc the nose is sensitive but damn

but the industrial looks good! very happy with it.

also your new theme is so hot we love. im obsessed with the art its so gorgeous

-🩰

omg bread 🍞

omg i’m so glad it worked out i bet u look great 😙😙

TYSM MWAH MWAH

[sleevesareforlosers]

Happy (belated) solstice! I'm looking forward to going back to school in January :D and I might travel on a school trip this summer that'd be hella exciting! I'm gonna be bringing my peak fucking vibes into 2023 obviously :P Right now the weather is rainy and cold but not cold enough to snow, which is pretty eh, it's pretty to watch but I spent so much time waiting for the bus n shit in soaked jeans etc =/ yowch! Honestly right now I'm happy in my bedroom warm and cozy, but I'm going to the museum tomorrow and I'm having trouble waiting lol. I prefer new books movies and shows, generally, but music I tend to loop/replay a Lot <3

happy belated solstice! enjoy a longer day today (altho im gonna guess the sun has already set for u by now)

wough im so excited for everyone goin back to school and on fun trips and stuff in the new year!! and EXCELLENT choice fuck yeah bring your PEAK vibes into 2023

oh nasty :( wet jeans at the bus is such a unique hell. i had to do that all the time in highschool and esp if its cold you're hooped. glad you're warm n dry n cozy now tho!

and thats SO exciting that ur going to the museum!! i hope you see some rlly cool exhibits

oooooooh we got a new media enthusiast over here. good for you! i salute you! very hilarious how you and pi have polar opposite responses to this one

[bueckersstrap]

https://www.tumblr.com/bueckersstrap/758127525939576832/wait-rs-tho-whats-good-w-u-bae-i-scrolled-your

cool cool i hope the cottage was fun. you’re cute😁 i’m tryna keep u blushing yk what i mean

since i got better i’ve js been chilling tbh🤷‍♀️ lifting n hooping a lot, working, going to the beach, stuff like that i’m tryna get tan too before in get my new tats next week🙏 i’ve also been cooking more like i’m legit a chef now i be whipping ts up👩‍🍳🤞

-🎸

yes the cottage was lots of fun i took a run n saw a turtleee!! i wanted to keep it sooo bad

yay lifting so u can get stronger n manhandle meeee😊 also new tats is sooo sexy like yummy!! also yes cook for me maaaa

[lilliththegreat]

Today I did something.

Yeah, went to work.

This that.

I did saw that girl acted differently and that one in her got pissed off while I drew a few runes for embroidery.

Today I have left the hoop by writing Loki and x as well twice.

I asked him to show the parents the situation she is truly in.

And mentioned I will properly come and address him later I did it without any thought suddenly :)

So I have to offer my first patron something and have a word with him.

Humans don't make any sense to me.

Again.

The arguments between my daughter and me continued, she must be in some depression.

She told me that I have asked her not to come to me for any emotional needs.

The only thing as per her convenience or being hurt by it deeply she seems to remember still now.

Be it.

It's better to be that way.

She will learn to be alone and fight for her life.

Yeah, in this way I am a bad parent.

She got used to this side of me.

She kind of said that I disrespect other beliefs and criticize them ( as I know it is a bullshit of course I will say the ugly truth and she too knows that)

Maybe I need to open up which I will think about it later.

She made me scream so I broke a container by hitting her with it.

She has faced the worst with her father that wouldn't hurt her.

The bottom line is I told her that I will think about myself only and that I did support you in your school dropout situation.

I got pissed off for two reasons.

One she turned toward something that wouldn't help her in the long run, the light side creator nonsense.

Yeah, she is a teenage and I am speaking the truth straight forward so she wouldn't listen.

As Lucifer said," free will, let her choose that, she needs it now a diversion"

These is not exact words of him tho, but Lucifer knows that she wouldn't last for a long time in that.

The second thing is she being abandoned by the school system as she didn't attend the school regularly.

Imagine going one day in a month.

All proves that I am not a strict parent and I don't fit in any of these.

I had so much trouble even before being a good mother.

I need to often read the user manual.

And end up being an unusual mother.

Money is one problem.

Now the new problem is," did you say that you follow Darkness to your father? "

" I left all the relationships and killed the old me who had all those relationships then embraced Darkness." My reply.

I need to think about how to embrace the new changes and serve Lucifer.

Let me see.

[zimablue2]

Good job on going gym! Gains are coming. 

Hmm yeah Surry hills is quite an interesting area. A lot of old factory warehouse style buildings. Wonder if there are any churches around.. oh yeah I forgot to carry on our conversation about how I used to live in Surry hills when I first moved to Sydney so I know it quite well. Fitzy and Rogan used to live there with a few girls in this terrace house on South Dowling street just off Oxford street and I crashed there for a couple months while trying to find a place to rent coz one of their flat mates were in Europe. Lots of good memories in that house. Oh, how different my perspective and understanding of Sydney was back then. Just a small town kid in the big smoke with blissful ignorance and unwavering confidence. They used to always throw huge parties (usually dress up). A lot of the nz boys would come to them when we were all tighter. So many random people, always a dj and smoke machine, laser lights.. Like project x vibes. That’s actually when we first became friends wit Henry (well fitzy did, the friendly cunt. I always thought he was an pompous fuckwit until later lol).

my days been all good. I’ve got the same client from Melbourne the whole week so just working on this Jap leg sleeve. Went gym this morning even tho I was sleepy coz I woke up at 5am from a really nice dream. And couldn’t get back to sleep for an hour. You know how I said I’ve been having really vivid, long dreams where like every moment and conversations play out in real time? Yeah well I was at uni in the morning tryna shoot some hoops before my classes but then realised my ankle was fucked so I just stood around judging the other players haha. Then u appeared from the gym. We were supposed to go to class but I said fuck school, we’re too smart anyway, it’s a marvellous day. You said yeah let’s go to the beach. So we caught this shuttle bus to the beach. We were having great and funny conversations as per usual. I remember us talking about twins. How there’s always one normal, better looking one and one weirder less attractive one and how everyone always likes the better looking one at first but then realise the weird socially awkward one is always cooler hahaha. Anyway, we get to this beach - I’ve never seen it before. It was like in this cove. Surrounded by tropical trees. Not very big, with a long wooden wharf. It was quite busy but the sun started setting so people started leaving and was quiet. Both our phones ran out of battery. We walk into the water. Me behind you holding your hips. Your wearing that new bikini you bought. I can’t remember what I was saying in your ear (probably something cheeky and perverted lol) but my head was over your shoulder and I could feel ur hair on my face and the setting sun on my skin. I tell you to lay back so your floating and I’m by your side holding you up. And we were just there, present, still, calm, everything ahead of us.. we talked about how we were gonna move to Paris next year and live a exhilarating vagabond life across Europe chasing the sun. All the good food and wine we would have. 

I hope you have a good catch up with Gael. Say hi to her from me 😂. I hope she’s alright. U know me and Rogan were speaking about what a weird stage of life this is. Overwhelming at times. Everything is changing. But in the grand scheme of things it’s only the beginning.. c'est la vie and all that shit. I hope you have a beautiful night and don’t get blown away in the wind u crane hahaha 😘

[conartisthaiji]

i would like to learn about loona! also i am listening to the songs you sent me! imma have a free period from 12:00-1:00 thats im supposed to be spending doing schoolwork but i dont wanna so yes pls tell me about them and any other kpop girls you wanna (i think i very much like red velvet, itzy, and twice)

okay time for a brief (ish) over view of each group! also one more that i think you might like :) it is a surprise for the end

any links here are to music videos/choreo (mostly music videos but there's a few choreo vids/stage performances). as a result, most of the mentioned b-sides will not have links, sorry in advance.

LOONA: loona, also known as girl of the month, is a 12 member girl group from blockberry creative! their debut process was really unique in the kpop world, as it involved giving each member a song as well as three subunits (loona 1/3, odd eye circle, and yyxy) prior to debuting (most groups don't begin solos until the group is well-established). this process lasted one and a half years and as a result loona has a really extensive pre-debut discography. my favorite solos are vivi's (every day i love you), jinsoul's (singing in the rain), and yves's (new). chuu's (heart attack) is the most well-known for the wlw themes! also odd eye circle's girl front goes viral every so often, so you might've heard some of it.

for their debut/post debut (title) tracks, butterfly and paint the town are my personal favorites! to be honest, if there's only one loona music video that you watch, it should be butterfly. like i'm so serious those four minutes and thirty-four seconds changed my life (permanently). hi high, their debut track, and flip that, their most recent korean release, are their more bubbly/bright titles, whereas so what has more of a powerful feel. and you know why not already!

for the b-sides/albums, my personal favorite is the 12:00 album! my fave b-side is pale blue dot tho like that's my song (i got to see hear them perform it in sf btw) but i also recommend stylish, satellite, playback, ding ding ding, wow, oh (yes i am), where you at, colors, and perfect love. for the pre-debut b-sides, i'm a sucker for love letter (jinsoul and kim lip) and girls' talk (yves and chuu), as well as loonatic (oec), rendez-vous 18.9 (yyxy), valentine girl (1/3), and sonatine (1/3).

star broke into american radio stations and allegedly it was in every walmart for a while (and sometimes it still is) but i've never heard it out in public, which feels like homophobia tbh.

their japanese releases are hula hoop and luminous!

RED VELVET: i already sent you the first ten songs that came to mind when i saw u were getting into them, so i won't spend too much time here. they debuted in 2014 with happiness, but in 2015 yeri was added with the release of ice cream cake (there is speculation that red velvet was supposed to debut in 2015 but sm debuted them early for...damage control, and yeri was added later since she would've been too young in 2014). their most recent comeback was feel my rhythm, which samples Bach's "Air on the G-String". it actually works really well.

i do wanna mention irene and seulgi's monster and seulgi's 28 reasons! just cuz the vibes are a little dark, a little edgy, and also pretty gay. joy and wendy also have solo albums (joy debuted with hello, and wendy debuted with like water).

also check out their japanese discography; it's just as good as their korean discography. not enough people talk about cookie jar and wildside. or sappy tbh.

ITZY: known as fourth gen leaders, itzy debuted in 2019 with dalla dalla, and saw instant success. wannabe really cemented their place in fourth gen, and they've been famous ever since! personally, i really love icy and not shy, and their 2021 releases, mafia in the morning and loco, are both solid tracks as well.

for the b-sides, i'd recommend the whole crazy in love album (keep in mind that jyp included instrumentals of all their title tracks for some reason. you can skip those). as for individual songs, racer, kidding me, shoot, don't give a what, cherry, and want it are really fun in my opinion!

they've also got two japanese tracks so far, voltage and blah blah blah. and they just released their first english track, boys like you! personally i think it's fun and cute. it gives me old taylor swift vibes.

TWICE: gonna be honest, i know the least about them. but i love their title tracks, and what little i've heard from their b-sides have been pretty solid so far! so here's a quick rundown of twice's highlights :)

they debuted in 2015 with like ooh-ahh, but it wasn't until they released TT in 2016 that they really solidified their place in the kpop world. other hits include likey, yes or yes (one of my personal favorites), fancy, feel special, what is love, and cry for me! their most recent comeback is talk that talk.

their japanese discography is pretty solid too; i personally enjoy breakthrough and bdz.

BILLLIE: this is your get one free group lmfao. personally i love the billlie girls but really i feel like you'd enjoy gingamingayo! they debuted in november of 2021 so they don't have an extensive discography in the way the other four groups mentioned do, but so far every release of theirs has been really solid. i'd also recommend flipp!ng a coin, ring x ring, a sign ~ anonymous, ring ma bell, and b'rave ~ a song for matilda.

[andragoras-in-vanity]

hhh just changed my nose ring to the opal stud why do i only have motivation for this at 3 am