#good luck to anyone scouting !!

[hypernova-writes]

*sad little brazilian orphan kid voice* oi moça... yanking scout by his dog tags and kissing him to shut him up. thats it :3 a lil suggestive in the end perhaps

Literally have had a dream about this! Also headcanons with Nova time! Scout's very sensitive when it comes to his neck, he doesn't let just anyone touch his neck nor yank on his tags! You would have to be literally the object of his affection for you to get close enough to do it!

Scout x Reader: Babe, You're rambling.

"So You're sure ya not annoyed by me?"

You look up from your book, eyebrow cocked as you and your boyfriend were chilling in his room after a day of battling.

"Jeremy. Honey we've been through this—"

"Yea yea, If I truly annoyed you, you would've been dumped me by now BUT THATS NOT THE POINT–"

You sigh and prepare yourself as he starts going on and on.

"I feel like ya just saying that to get me to shut up! Which if you wanted me to shut up ya could just tell me instead of lyin'!'

"And I'm not accusin' ya of lyin' but I'm just saying! A smokin' hot babe like you can't like someone like me! I mean look at me!"

He leans closer to you, his hands on his hips as he continued on, all while you crossed your legs and tilted your head. You looked at him with a soft smile as he continued on and on.

"Jeremy."

"And and don't even get me started on how today went! I know you were busy on the field but you didn't even give me my good luck kiss!"

"Jeremy."

"Look if I did something babes tell me! You know i don't like havin' ya upset at me especially if I did somethin'."

You sighed, it was useless, he's worked himself up and there was only way that you could get him to stop.

You leaned forward, your fingers hooking around his dog tags and pulled him forward, slamming your lips against his.

You could feel his body tense before it relaxes as you pull the two of you back onto the bed. He places his hands on either side of your head to brace himself. His lips move against yours slowly before you finally loosen your grip around his dog tags.

He looks down at you, speechless and breathless a bit before he collapses, laying on your chest, allowing you to rub his back.

"I hate when you do that.."

"Why? Cause it turns you into putty? I thought you liked it when I mark up your neck~"

"H-hey! I do..meanie.."

[mayandjuly1811]

I DISLIKE HUNTER'S FAVORITISM

Lilith is so based for this. Hunter gets special treatment from not only in the Emperor's coven but also in the entire show, crew and fandom.

The crew also loves the idea of giving him more trauma and focus. During livestreams and talk shows, there are always questions about him, even more than King - one of the main characters.

In the show, many point out that the first letters of the episodes in which he appears with the Hexsquad is an acronym for H-E-A-L (Hunting Palismen, Eclipse Lake, Any Sports in A Storm, Labyrinth Runner). It means the Hexsquad, even Luz, the main character, is a plot device for his arc. I also knew that Hunter was written to stay at the Owl House after the whole event of Hollow Mind. Imagine him staying with the main characters of the show, having them comforting him, center around him. It will be the same with how the Hexsquad is written to be centered around him as his support system again, specifically Gus and Willow. Undoubtedly, the show intended to make him one of the main characters so obviously that it isn't subtle anymore.

- Luz: the main character of the show. In season 2B, Hunter replaces Luz as their new best friend in the trio. Like seriously? Even though Luz is dating Amity, she can still have spare time for her friends. But the writers don't care, so Hunter will have more time with Willow and Gus. It paints Luz in a bad light as someone who throws her friendship away once she finds love. It's OOC of Luz. Never thought a main character could get such bad writing treatment.

The nightmare sequence is also unreasonable. While others’ resentment towards Luz sounds more logical, Hunter's isn't, at least to me. I don't get why the writers wrote Luz thinking Hunter get mad of her like this “I lost him helping you.” Who helps who actually? He came to Luz's place first. He was the one asking Luz for help and not the other way around. He literally ran away first and intended to face Belos alone despite Luz's calling. Even though Luz is self-blaming, her interaction in the nightmare sequence with Hunter makes no sense.

- Next is Amity: I was expecting Amity to have more screen time with Willow, since I'm not satisfied with how their friendship is written. But alas, if Luz, the main character, doesn't even have any episodes ever since Hunter appears, how could Amity - a side character - can?

The writing flaw is obvious in her rekindled friendship with Willow. The way Amity views Willow's strength is negatively retconned. In Understanding Willow, she says that she didn't think of Willow as weak. In the next episode, she even cooperates with Willow and Luz to compete against Boscha. Grudgeby is a dangerous sport, and Boscha is a tough competitor who has won several cups. Obviously, Willow proves her strength there, shows her magic and even scores the last goal. Amity sees it all. In season 1, it's going in the right direction, Amity acknowledges that Willow isn't weak and even cooperates with her. She never tries to stop Willow from competing with the excuse of thinking her weak. But in Labyrinth Runner, she gets done dirty so bad. The writers intend to show that she's overprotective of Willow and wants to protect her, but by what way? Trying to make up for the times when she can't stand up for Willow in the past? No, by underestimating her. This makes no sense compared to how she's written in season 1. This scene, when Amity says that the guards are tough, and not anyone can stand up to them, her lines can be added up like “Willow, you just got kidnapped by them and I'm worried about you. I faced the Scouts before, and they were quite tough, so I got thrown down the pit by one.” It would be better than writing her as underestimating Willow's strength! Oh and I hate the irritating scene “Good luck, Willow”. They could have just written Amity asking Willow if she was okay.

Why Amity is retconned like that? I strongly believe that Amity is flanderized as someone who underestimates Willow's strength to uplift Hunter, who admires and appreciates her strength despite only meeting her once. I already saw “Willow forgives Hunter faster because he sees her as strong while Amity sees her as a weakling.”

- Willow: Any Sports in a storm is supposed to be a Willow's episode but it's a Hunter's one apparently. Willow is written to be hard-working, determined and strong from the start of the episode with her dream of being the first Flyer Derby captain. But it gets overshadowed by Hunter's new friendship and interaction with the group. From the middle till the end, there's barely any scenes of Willow being recognized as a good captain. There's no scene at least like other teammates praising her for her leadership and planning. And there's no scene of her interpersonal emotions like “I did it” or her fathers being proud of her. She wishes to be good at Flyer Derby and follow in her fathers’ footsteps. It's never mentioned again. It's not about her, it's only about developing Hunter and the ship tease Huntlow. Instead of writing how her newfound confidence and captain leadership are recognized, her old wound “half-a-witch” is brought up to develop Hunter and Huntlow, even though it's not the SAME thing Hunter and Willow have in common!! Hunter gets the spotlight in the Flyer Derby team, from praising, encouragement to the photo taking. He's the centre in the photo, just like how everyone is focused on his slow typing at the end of the episode.

Willow is also retconned as a forced girlboss stereotype from dragging Hunter when they first met to being insensitive of his trauma. Like why did she get done so dirty? Especially in Thanks to Them, Willow comforts Vee quite well. She said Vee didn't have to go to the museum if she was still afraid. But it's not the same in For the Future when she tries to comfort Hunter by bringing a Flapjack's photo right after he lost his palisman.

- Last but not least, Gus. Labyrinth Runner is a Gus episode that gets overshadowed. The breathing technique is something special in Gus and Willow's friendship. But it's used to develop Hunter again. It's used to develop his and Gus's friendship, and his relationship with Willow.

Gus, who has been friends with Willow for years, can't recognize the real Willow while Hunter can. It's reasonable if Willow gets scared of Hunter. Also, that he thinks Willow doesn't get scared of him isn't entirely convincing to me. Even though Willow isn't utterly scared, she would at least be wary of him. He kidnapped her and others, locked them up, took their Palismen and took them away from their families. He saved them at the end, but what they've been through was very traumatizing. Willow is insecure about her strength. Not to mention it doesn't make any sense when Hunter sees how Willow doubts her strength and calls herself half-a-witch. He stirs up her insecurity and how can he think she isn't afraid of him? Yet in Labyrinth Runner, he is written to be more understanding of her strength more than Gus?

If Hunter knows that the illusion isn't Willow, Gus should have known as well. Gus is the master of illusion, and he can't even recognize an illusionist? Also, his best friend? They could have written that Gus recognizes Willow through the breathing technique, which is the only thing they knew to solidify their friendship more.

In Labyrinth Runner, both Amity and Gus are done dirty in this episode in order to make Hunter outshine them. And most of all, Huntlow. Hunter is written to be more understanding and appreciating Willow's strength more than Gus and Amity, so Huntlow would be more convincing.

- Season 3 has only three episodes but more than half of the screen time is about Hunter, playing the main character role just like Luz. I'm glad that I'm not the only one who thinks Hunter's possessed scene and killing Flapjack are unnecessary. How does it benefit his character and the plot? Hunter can still defy and fight Belos without being possessed. The only effect from this is his ability to do magic and going through more trauma. According to what the crew says, they like to give him trauma. It makes me think that they're too focused on him and make him have more screen time and attention than others.

- The writer gives him too much trauma yet they can't handle it right. Hence, they shouldn't have added that in the show, especially in a cancelled one. In For the Future, Hunter has to shove his grief down to comfort Willow. Gus is sidelined like usual in favor of Hunter and Huntlow. He knows about Hunter's secret, what Belos did and it traumatizes him a lot, but his feelings are never mentioned during season 3. Oh great, it's only brought up again when it has something to do with Hunter.

- Why can only Hunter reach out to Willow when she has a breakdown? Why is Gus trapped and further away from her? And if I thought it can't get any worse, Willow only says thank you to Hunter then holds his pinky. What about Gus? He tried to comfort her too. Willow first met Gus when he was having a mental breakdown, she comforted him and understood him. That's the start of their friendship. It will be much more meaningful when Gus plays a more important part in helping Willow by the same breathing technique she taught him. Even though Willow and Gus usually stay together, their friendship is written on such a surface-level despite having a lot of potential.

- Willow and Gus are considered as the most powerful characters in the group. But the writers say “no, let Hunter shine”. First minute, both Willow and Gus are confident that they can take down Kikimora, but later, Hunter has to come to the rescue. Like, I'm not saying Hunter can't save her or Willow is weak but it doesn't fit right in this moment. Willow has just got her comfort and confidence back, yet she doesn't get to have the moments to show her strength and power. Give me Willow and Gus’s power combo that defeats Kikimora satisfyingly, not just boasting about their power, but failing and then getting rescued by Hunter. It feels like their power is nerfed out so Hunter has a chance to show off his new power (even though he's already done that).

- Lastly, Flapjack tattoo, another sign of Hunter favoritism to me, so feel free to agree to disagree about this. Tattoo is one of the most noticeable traits on one's body.

It's ingrained on the skin and noticeable on the characters’ designs. How on earth everyone else has to have the tattoo of his Palisman? I get that they want to respect Flapjack, but this seems like Hunter has main character favoritism in the show. The group doesn't even bond with Flapjack that much. They can show respect for the Palisman in other ways, making a carving, album and so on. If they tattooed it, it's mostly because of Hunter. I still prefer Luz to have flowery tattoos or something else related to her father. And I prefer others having their tattoos of their own Palismen rather than Hunter's.

- Not only the Hexsquad but another side character also suffers from this, Alador. In Clouds on the Horizon, Alador shows his clear doubt towards Hunter. It makes perfectly sense because he was the Emperor's right-hand man, everyone is doubtful of him, including people at Hexside. They even intend to send him back to the coven. But when Alador doubts him, instead of explaining himself like he has with the Hexside teachers and students, he chooses to criticize Alador. "At least I didn't build him an army." That's a weak counterback. Did Hunter forget that he was the one coming to the Blight factory and inform that Belos wants the Abomatons exclusively?Belos is the most powerful person on the Isles, so both Odalia and Alador can't defy him and can only build the Abomatons only for him. They can't sell their invention to others anymore. It's hypocritical of Hunter to say that to Alador when he was in the same position like them, unable to defy Belos's power and demand. Instead of saying that "I'm leaving Belos" "I'm not going back to him." "I realized he wasn't like how he actually is" to counter Alador's doubt, Hunter criticizes Alador for also helping Belos with such a weak counterpoint. People only attack others personally when they run out of excuses in an argument. The writing of their interaction makes no sense, and intends to make Hunter the victim and Alador the bad guy. Unfortunately, I only saw how hypocritical Hunter is.

In short, the favoritism in Hunter's writing did damage to other characters' writing, including Luz, the main character. He is written as the most sympathetic character, while some characters are nerfed and OOC to make him outshine them. If the show is written like that, no wonder the fandom centres around him too much and put other characters down in favour of him.

[whaleofatjme1920]

How Much I Would Trust the People of TF2 at Pools with Me and How Much You Should Trust Them Too

I'm a lifeguard, lifeguard instructor and swim instructor you should definitely trust me

Reblogs are appreciated!!

Scout

6/10

I think he can swim surprisingly well. Like, not any actual stroke but he can stay alive in water.

Going to start splash wars. It's a mess. He will also play chicken with people and cheat while doing so.

Yeah he brings a lot of diving toys. Good luck. Fails to bring goggles and complains about chlorine in his eyes. Bit of a mess innit.

DOES NOT WEAR SUNSCREEN and gets burnt. Badly. He will be complaining about it for DAYS after the fact.

Soldier

5/10

Jane can absolutely swim. Just not... gracefully.

Acts a lot like those dogs that jump on their owners thinking they're drowning and just wants to help.

Will have a cannonball contest only if you say it's in the good of America.

Does enjoy 4th of July pool parties and LOVES flamingo and donut floaties. He and Zhanna like to rest on them together.

Pyro

2/10

Pyro doesn't really like swimming but isn't like, a hater of water.

Pyro would definitely hang out on the side and dip their feet in the water, kicking every now and then.

Usually naps in a lawn chair. Or, if on a beach, they'll build sandcastles and have lots of fun.

Sometimes will rest on a floatie. Likes water wings (water wings aren't safe). Likes sun bathing (plz make them wear sunscreen anyways).

Demoman

8/10

Literal selkie. I'm being so fr. He's a literal sea captain so. Man loves water.

Only reason he's an 8/10 is bc he likes to drink while lounging on the side of the pool and might need to be rescued at one point or another.

BUT he's really fun to play games with. Will jump in and have splash contests just as much as he wants to nap while laying on a floatie.

He will tell you nautical tales and legends from around the world. Great storyteller, and amazing at weaving tales of merfolk.

Heavy

9/10

makes sure everyone is wearing sunscreen and that the sunscreen is reapplied at safe intervals.

Likes to wear sunglasses and lounge around for a bit, but will actually legitimately swim. His breaststroke is actually pretty good. Butterfly is debatable.

He's going to keep tabs on everyone in the pool to make sure they're safe and not drowning.

He will also have a great BBQ. Mans the grill, doesn't let anyone touch it except for Dell, and Zhanna, He will NOT let Jane touch the grill.

Engineer

8/10

This is because he's really not swimming, more so of like, wading in the water with a cold beer in his hand but he's like your cool dad that hangs out and gets a bunch of cool stuff for the pool.

He's the one that buys or makes all the super cool floaties for the pool.

He also has towels and stuff ready for everyone. Does not want ANYONE dripping in the house so please dry off.

He will play his guitar at some point during the night after everyone's had their fun and light a fire for s'more purposes.

Medic

5/10

He's a menace in the pool. Surprisingly nimble in the water but like, a water snake or a shark, not a dolphin. He is not beneficial.

He asked to check the chlorine levels or check himself. Not because he actually cares, but because he wants to gross everyone else out.

He LOVES scaring people when in the water. He will jump up and climb up on you, and make everything hell for you.

If he isn't scaring you in the water and Jeremy isn't trying to drown him, he'll hang around the side of the pool sipping on cocktails and beer sunbathing like a lizard. This, after everyone's hounded him for wearing several layers of sunscreen.

Sniper

7/10

He's also a water dweller. He and Tavish spend a lot of time together talking in the shallow end about little myths and legends, and even have little races.

He's a very good swimmer. HIs fly is good, can't say the same for backstroke.

Water is like one of the only places he's not awkward because it's so comfortable to him. He has quite a few fond memories of his parents hanging around in the pool with him, tossing coins downwards so he could pick them up and even his father teaching him to swim.

He's a 7 out of 10 because he doesn't listen to anyone when they tell him to put more sunscreen on and he doesn't and gets BURNED.

Spy

4/10

He does not get in the water. Wears a speedo and it makes everyone uncomfortable and the balaclava but that's whatever.

He DOES wear sunscreen. Still wants to sun tan and even has a timer so he knows how long each side of him actually gets. Has sunglasses, listens to the music, and generally enjoys his time alone from everyone but also surrounded by them.

This does not stop Jeremy from splashing the ever loving hell out of him. Jeremy makes it a personal mission to mess with him.

He does end up having a water gun and does shoot Jeremy in the face with it MULTIPLE times. Might even raise his score to 10/10 tbh.

Miss Pauling

6/10

Yeah she's not getting in the water unless someone spends quite some time getting her in. She DOES know how to swim, and I think as a teen she was actually a lifeguard! but her relationship with the Administrator overworking her means she doesn't want to do ANYTHING.

I mean, she stays perpetually busy so it's everyone's personal mission to keep her phone away from her and tell the Administrator to bug off and leave her alone. So, when that happens you get her to rest on pool donuts.

She also sunbathes, but doesn't tan at all. She does cover herself in sun screen and wears a cute sun hat.

Her idea of having a nice time at the pool is with some iced tea, a good book, and enjoying the beautiful weather. She gets exactly that, minus Jeremy flirting with her, to which Spy will squirt him in the face again with his water gun.

Saxton Hale

-2/10

It's his pool everyone is using but that man makes everyone sign their soul to get in.

No one actually signs, just uses random google generated names and he can't be BOTHERED to check.

Mags also burns the contracts of anyone who actually signed. She thinks it's ridiculous that Saxton would even do that.

That said, he's not even AT the pool when everyone else is there because he can't be bothered. He wants to punch sharks. Mags will show up in a sun hat and bring a cooler of beer. She's the real 10/10.

The Administrator

-100/10

She does NOT show up. But if you manage to get her in, she hides in the shadows and hisses at the sun like a vampire.

She does NOT stop bothering Miss Pauling. Complains the whole time she's there.

She sneaks out at some point to get drunk somewhere else because everyone here was too 'low class' for her.

I don't like this woman. Stop inviting her to the party.

Zhanna

9/10

She's on the grill with Dell and they're a GREAT team together. She manages to cook everything so perfectly, people prefer her stuff to everyone else's.

She does better cannonballs than Jane. She's also a very graceful swimmer. Probably knows how to do some very basic artistic swimming skills, which she can teach you if you ask.

She likes to sunbathe as well, and likes to read as she does. I think she actually spends a lot of time with Miss Pauling, both of them resting together and enjoying the sun.

She will also drown Jeremy for him being a little shit around everyone else.

Merasmus

10/10

He summons mermaids.

What more can I say.

[the-teufort-nine]

My TF2 Fic Rec List [ Fanfics I've Read That You Should Too]

*cracks knuckles* right, let's get started! X Reader fics are not included bc I already did a list of them for an ask. Mind the tags and ratings, as always. I'll add to this as I collect more, but its decently long as is

Symbol Key:

** = Incomplete

~~ = Personal favourite

++ = Under 10k

SpeedingBullet:

~~Running Blind by TheTriggeredHappy

(( Scout's eyes are badly damaged in battle and for some reason, Medic's gun can't fix him. Until they figure out how to heal Scout, he needs someone to look after him and keep him safe.

Sniper is given the job.

[3rd person limited, Scout's POV, some character development done on a whim] ))

The SpeedingBullet fanfic. If you like Scout X Sniper, and you haven't read this one yet, I don't know what to tell you. You are severely missing out on not only a great romance story, but also fantastic team dynamics. Also has an available Podfic!

++From a Hospital Bed by SlightlyLessThanAnon

(( Jeremy wakes up in the hospital, his brain struggling the find coherent thoughts as the world churns around him, in and out of consciousness.

He finds the team may care about him a little more than he thought they did. ))

Short but sweet. More whole team fluff than strictly SpeedingBullet. Very cute.

~~Golden Brown, as well as its sister fic, Take Me Out by Ali_Ker (Alina_Kerrin)

(( After seeing his co-worker in a new light, Scout is faced with unknown feelings and a new, distracting perspective on things. ))

This lovely author can be found here under the handle @alikerao3

Grouped these two together because they are they same story, but told from the perspectives of Scout and Sniper respectively. Definitely a bit of a heavier read, especially for anyone who has dealt with Catholic guilt or internalized homophobia, but my God is it worth it. Don't just read one thinking it isn't worth it to read the other fic. Read both. Also, check out the song that inspired the title.

~~Going Through The Motions by AussieBookworm

(( Working under RED can be repetitive at times - but nothing like this. After a curse is fired his way, Scout is forced to live through the same day over and over and over again. It should be easy for someone as perfect as Scout to break the curse, right? As long as he doesn't have to confront the things he's been feeling towards Sniper it should be a piece of cake! ))

Possibly my absolute favourite TF2 fic right now. Scout gets character development out the ass, Demo has a prominent, important role, and there's a plot twist so good it had me tweaking out. TW for Suicide as a method used to get out of a time loop. Absolutely incredible, and it needs more love.

Gills and Gunpowder by popkeeki

(( Monsters are becoming increasingly rare. Between getting pushed to the periphery of society or being targeted by traffickers, life is hard when you are not (entirely) human. Like many others, Scout tries to keep his true form a secret. It has never really been a problem. That is, until a nosy teammate catches him mid-swim. ))

SpeedingBullet Mermaid AU!! Good luck finding a fic with this premise that also reaches this level of quality.

**~~Pet by Anonymous

(( Sniper's terrified of losing the one person he has in his life. It turns out there's a convenient solution to that: just make sure he has no way out, and the rest will follow.

Scout wakes up in a van he knows all too well, loopy and hungover, and Sniper's waiting for him.

*

Or: Learning to live with claustrophobia in small spaces Or: Making the best of assisted living Or: You can’t outrun a fucking bullet ))

Are you like me? Do you enjoy Scout whump and Yandere!/Possessive Sniper? SpyDad? Do you want more of it in your life? If the answer is yes, than Pet is for you! No NSFW, just pure, delicious kidnapping and one-sided love.

General Fanfic Recommendations:

++Something's Up With Respawn by Camelot_taurus, Old Works (HarveyDangerfield)

(( Respawn starts to glitch, and the Administrator sets Engineer to work fixing it.

It doesn't take long for him to find out exactly what's going ))

Super funny, weird little oneshot. Basically, Respawn starts glitching and producing fucked up, Paperjam Dipper-esque clones of the Mercs.

++Mask Off by MatryoshkaDoll413

(( Scout is sick. Really sick. 'If we can't get this fever under control it's the hospital or the morgue' sick, and Respawn can't help him this time. They'd already tried that. He's gotten so delirious he's fighting Medic every second he's awake, not really lucid enough to remember so much as his own name, much less that of any of the team. Medic is ready to put him under full sedation and try and work things out from there, but Spy has an idea. ))

Wholesome SpyDad fic. Spy actually acts like a dad for once, for his sick little bunny.

~~++Scout, Respond by MatryoshkaDoll413

(( Scout wakes up in a dark, unknown place, with rocks bearing down on him and a spotty recollection as to how he ended up there in the first place. The only thing that keeps him sane is the voice of his team in his ear, telling him to talk, to breath, and, more than anything, to stay awake. ))

Scout gets trapped beneath a collapsed building, and receives comfort from his team over his headset while they race to dig him out. Super cute, definitely a must read, and I've done so more than once.

pick it all up (and start again) by bugbee

(( The clues had always been there, he had just never wanted to see them. Maybe neither of them had, instead content to deny the truth before their eyes for the rest of their days because it was better than confronting the alternative. Except Scout had died, and Spy wasn’t able to keep on pretending for his last moments. A part of Jeremy was glad for it, despite the simmering rage and betrayal and hurt. So when he tried to look God in the eye and tell Him that Tom Jones was his father… He couldn’t. Not really.

(Scout discusses his parentage with God, and stays dead for a little while longer. Well. A lot longer. On the plus side, he gets to attend his own funeral reception.) ))

An alternate take on Scout's death from the comics. Very Scout centric, obviously, and ends happily.

~~A Little Bird Told Me… by the_soup_specter

(( Medic learns a secret— something personal, powerful, big enough to cause a rift in the team of mercenaries that could tear two of them apart. And for once in his life… he’s not sure how to proceed.

With no better ideas, Medic decides to ask his fellow mercenaries for advice. But as dueling viewpoints begin to pile up, will he be able to make a decision before the team is changed forever? ))

Medic learns Spy is Scout's dad, and spills the beans. Everything turns out ok, but man the aftermath initially ain't pretty.

~~seven times he has to explain (and one time he doesn’t have to) by conner_is_alive

(( the trans scout obsession has me in a vice

also if i don’t vent my trans sadness i will literally rip a government building down brick by brick lmao ))

The fic that made me a trans Scout believer. If you're on the fence about that headcanon, maybe give this fic a read.

**~~Kith And Kin by BOREDGrace23

(( Mick never thought much of the BLU team. They were just clones, after all. Designed to be their opponents in a meaningless war.

That's why when he woke up, his vision blurry, his brain blistering from a headache like he'd just woken up from a hangover, and several burning questions about what had happened, he thought it was strange that they hadn't killed him already.

//

Or, BLU are clones and RED are decidedly not. They’re then forced to work together when their teams disappear. ))

If you like Emesis Blue, or horror in general, go read Kith And Kin. And when you finish, go give @boredgrace23 some love for such an incredible fic.

**++Der Junge by UpInFlamesWriting

(( Everyone on the team knows that Scout & Medic do not get along. They're like Sniper & Spy, except less bloodthirsty about it. Medic scares Scout, & Scout doesn't give Medic a reason to like him. When the two of them start being more than friendly all of a sudden, the team starts to worry, especially when it becomes obvious that Medic & Scout are keeping secrets from them. Scout & Medic are not about to tell the rest of the team that they are a pair of transsexual men, especially when Medic agrees to help Scout in his transition. For all the weirdness that goes on in the base, the world is not kind to queer people, & they aim to keep the reason behind their friendship a secret, even if it kills them. ))

Trans Scout and Trans Medic solidarity fic. I need more of this.

Eight Mercenaries and A Toddler by ChaosandMayhem

(( When Respawn malfunctions and their annoying Scout is turned into something far more precocious, it'll take all of the RED team's wits and patience to look after him. At the same time, Engineer must find a way to turn Scout back into an adult before the BLUs-or anyone else-realizes what's happened. No pairings, just a bunch of exhausted trained killers and one hyperactive child. ))

An Ancient Text from 2012 and the only FF.Net fic on this list, EMaAT is a classic for me. Lot's of Spy backstory, if memory serves. Quotes from this live rent free in my mind.

PracticalEspionage:

++Under the Lake by Her_AngelEyes

(( Engineer goes fishing. Hilarity ensues. ))

Don't let the description fool you. This is a non-con/mind break fic. If you like darkfic stuff, than this is for you~

[actuallysaiyan]

A Little Kiss That Takes My Breath Away(Villain!All Might/Toshinori Yagi x Villain!Fem!Reader)

warnings: smut, lewd themes, aphrodisiac type quirk, reader is a villain and Smite's right hand man, age gap, size kink, bodily fluids(drool, cum, precum), vaginal fingering, biting, piercings, unprotected sex, penetrative sex, dub con(on both parts), idiots in love, violence, dark themes word count: 3k pairings: All Smite/Toshinori Yagi x Villain!Fem!Reader summary: you've been his right hand man for a long time, and though you both have feelings for one another, he keeps his distance...until you're both hit with an aphrodisiac quirk.

Doesn’t matter if the city is in total chaos, you want to continue going. Doesn’t matter if the whole world feels like it’s on your shoulders, you’ll do anything to make sure the man in charge is going to get what he wants. Right now, he’s gonna get the payback he deserves.

All Smite smashes into a group of enemies, knocking them out of the way. You watch with a fire in your eyes before you begin grabbing the nearest enemy. You haven’t seen chaos like this since All For One tried to end All Smite’s rein on the city. Leave it to a rival gang to want to cause this much destruction.

“I want you to meet me around the corner, got it?” You hear Smite’s voice coming through the earpiece. 

“Got it, boss!”

You and Smite have an interesting relationship. He keeps you at arm’s length whenever you aren’t working together. There’s an age gap between you two, and though he knows you’re more than capable, he still uses words like “kid” and “kiddo” when addressing you sometimes. You’d do anything to have him see you as a woman, but you know you can’t ask for that.

He’s the type of man who will burn down the entire city to get what he wants. He’s the type of man who would murder a man without hesitation. There’s something about his ruthlessness that would have scared anyone else off, but not you. You come from a background where you were bullied for your quirk, so you stuck to him as soon as you could.

Smite represents freedom from oppression. He represents breaking the chains of the world of heroes. They think they know what’s best for the whole world, but so many people fall through the cracks. And who’s there to pick up the pieces for those people? All Smite is the one they all look up to.

And just your luck, you ended up falling in love with Japan’s number one villain. 

You round the corner, meeting up with the man in question. You can’t see his smirk under the voice changing mask he wears that also encompasses his earpiece, but you can just about envision it in your mind.

“Good, I need you to go find the leader. Can you do that for me?”

“Yes, sir.”

You look around the carnage and destruction, scouting for the man or woman in charge of this. In your line of work, you noticed how little people put importance in gender roles. Most of you wear costumes to disguise yourselves as best as you can. You know for a fact that most people don’t know that you’re a woman when you’re wearing your costume.

The man in charge is only a few feet away, and you watch as he gives commands. His troops don’t seem to believe in him anymore, but some of them continue to follow his orders. You let Smite know that you’ve found him.

With your ambush plan in place, you wait for the right moment to strike. Smite comes through, body slamming against the leader of the gang. Though the leader has a quirk that deals with gravity, and he’s able to push your lover leader out of the way. You scramble to your feet, making your way over to Smite. You know you’ll probably get in trouble for running to his aid, but you can’t help it. He’s everything to you.

“Perfect, this is your right hand man, isn’t it?!” The leader of the rival group exclaims. “Hey, loverboy, come here!”

You’re confused as you watch this giant, lumbering villain rush over. He nearly trips over his own feet as he comes over to his leader. Without another word, the giant villain blows a kiss in the direction of you. The feelings of lust hit you hard, knocking you off your feet.

“Look at them, simply pathetic!” The leader cackles. “He’s next! Use a double dose!”

You watch through hooded eyes as the giant villain blows two kisses towards Smite. There’s nothing you can do as you watch your leader become inhibited by pure lust. It’s coursing through your own body, so you think about how much this must be affecting Smite with him getting a double dose.

“How’s about that?! What will you do now, number one? Are you going to fuck your second in command to death with all those feelings of lust coursing through your body?!”

You curse at the leader, but even just the thought of Smite fucking you has your heart racing and your cheeks heating up under your own mask. With each labored breath you take, the more you feel this quirk working against you. The leader calls out to his remaining troops and he begins to leave, ending the battle with you and Smite in defeat.

“Fuck!” You cry out. “Get back here!”

But it’s a lost cause. You’re just going to have to deal with what’s going on with your body now. And it wasn’t just affecting your body, it was affecting you all over. You get up, sweaty and sticky with arousal flooding your underwear. You reach Smite and press your hand on his back, but he pushes you away.

“Don’t fucking touch me!”

You can hear the snappiness in his voice. He doesn’t often yell at you like this. Still, you ignore him. You help him to his feet, even though you’re growing more and more aroused with each second that passes by. Smite begrudgingly leans against you, and you begin to guide him towards the hideout.

“What the hell kind of quirk was that?” His voice is more gruff than usual. You can hear how labored his breath is.

“I don’t know…some sort of aphrodisiac?” You try to be logical, but it’s becoming increasingly difficult to get your thoughts in order.

Once inside the hideout, Smite shakes you off violently. Instead of him leaning against you, he brings you into the bedroom. Your heart races at the prospect of him finally helping you with this. 

“Stay here,” he whispers as he takes off his mask. His blue eyes are dark with lust. “Just stay here till this runs its course. Got it?!”

You don’t want to argue, but you weren’t thinking straight. The little mewl you let out when he helps you out of your mask and unzips your leather jacket. You’re sweating, wanting nothing more than to rip off your clothes.

“Just stay in here.” He warns you once again, his own voice wavering.

He begins to make his way to the door, but his cock is throbbing in his pants. He can’t do this to you. It would be wrong of him to take advantage of the situation. You deserve to have a nice life with a man who could give you more than he can.

“Smite, please.”

“Just shut up!” He growls, but he’s losing this battle fast.

“Toshinori,”

This causes him to swallow hard. How the fuck was he supposed to ignore you now that you were using his real name?

“D-don’t. Please don’t.” His voice is nearly breaking. “You don’t want this.”

You begin to eagerly pull off your clothes now. Once you’re naked on the bed, he turns away from the door completely. You begin to play with your pussy, rubbing your clit and spreading your soaked folds. The obscene sounds coming from you are very hard to ignore.

“Don’t make me…” he whispers. “I can’t stop myself.”

He crawls onto the bed, making the mattress dip with his own weight. Within seconds, he’s capturing your lips in a deep and passionate kiss. His own feelings are coming through, though he’s going to have to lie to you once this is over. He can’t have you risking your life for him, even though you already do that. It just makes it easier when he pretends you’re not completely head over heels for him and that he’s not ready to incinerate and raze this city just for you.

“I need to,” you grab his hand and pull it to your pussy. “You need it too. Let’s just…let’s just fuck.”

He grunts as he nips at your bottom lip. “Once we start, I won’t be able to stop. I need you to understand that.”

You nod eagerly. “It’s okay. I need it. I understand and I need this.”

The more you beg for him, the harder it is for him to pull away again. He pushes you down onto the bed, his lips attaching to the tender flesh of your neck. You taste so good, even slick with sweat. You smell amazing too. It’s like he’s able to smell every single pheromone you’re giving off.

“Tell me you want me,” you whisper as his fingers brush against your soaked folds.

“I fucking need you!” He roars before kissing you.

Your hands quickly take off his shirt, and you begin to massage his chest. For so long, you’ve fantasised about doing this with him. You’ve wanted to have your chance with your boss for the longest time. With each soft caress, his cock throbs in his tight leather pants.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been fucking trying to keep you away from me,” he grunts between heated kisses. “Been trying to fucking keep you safe.”

You run your fingers through his hair. “I’m capable of making my own choices. I can keep myself safe.”

He wants to argue with you. You don’t even know how much you mean to him at all. You really don’t fucking get it, but maybe after tonight you will.

Toshinori sucks on your neck, eliciting a sweet moan from your swollen lips. His fingers spread your folds, teasing your drooling entrance. He chuckles softly when he feels how much this quirk has affected you already.

“I could probably slide right in,” he comments. “But I want to make you feel good. I can’t rush this,”

No, he can’t rush this. Especially when he knows this is probably the only time this is ever going to happen. You’re still his second in command and you still matter so much to him. Even if he’s completely in love with you, it doesn’t mean he should be acting on those damn feelings. 

When he slips one of his thick fingers into you, you let out a gasp. It feels so good to be stretched like this. You’re already thinking about how good it will feel once he fucks you. Smite stays nuzzled against your neck as he begins to pump his finger into you.

“Such a wet, warm pussy. Fuck, it’s hard not to just pin you to this bed and pound you.”

He kisses a trail down your body, stopping only to suck on your nipples eagerly. He loves the way the cool metal of your piercings feel against his tongue. His eyes are still so dark with lust, making you moan out his name.

“You should hear how fucking sweet you are,” he grunts before getting between your legs. “I’m gonna make you scream my name.”

His mouth latches onto your swollen clit, making you mewl. Your hips are bucking involuntarily as you begin to hump his face. He’s never had anyone make him feel this way, and he knows it’s not just the quirk. All of his dumb feelings were making their way out into the open.

His tongue laps at you, drinking up all your essence. You continue to dribble like a fountain, making him begin rutting against the bed from the need to be stimulated. Just the taste of you alone has him so dizzy. Smite thinks about how he’d love to just lay here and eat you out until you were too exhausted to think.

“You taste so fucking good,” he growls against your sensitive flesh. “So fucking good,”

Your fingers tangle in his long blond hair, tugging to keep him close to your cunt. Every flick of his tongue has you so close to your orgasm. The coil in your stomach is wound up so tight, and it’s getting to be almost infuriating how badly you need to cum. His fingers crook inside of you, and that’s all it takes for you to climax.

His name tumbles from your lips in a cry, and you shudder under him as the pleasure overwhelms you completely. Toshinori struggles to lap up every last drop, but he’s just burying his face between your thighs at this point.

“Good girl,” he praises you as he pulls away. “You ready for me?”

You’re now begging and whining for him to just fuck you. He’s barely able to think properly. With shaking hands, he unbuckles his belt and kicks off his pants. His cock slaps against his abdomen once it’s freed from the confines of his tight boxers.

“Look how fucking hard I am,” he grips your chin. “I’m so fucking hard. Can’t wait to be buried deep in your little cunt.”

You look up at him like he’s the only thing you can think about at this very moment. Toshinori would have normally teased you a little with the tip of his cock, but the only thing he can think of is to fuck you until this damn quirk runs its course.

As he slides into you, your walls begin to clamp down on him. He grins as he notices just how fucked out you look right now. The minute he bottoms out, you try to warn him that you’re cumming but all that comes out is sweet little moans.

“Already cumming for me again?” He coos, though his own resolve is breaking. “Fuck, you’re so damn tight.”

He grips your hips and begins to rock his hips. So many nights did he imagine himself in this situation, just being able to slide into your little cunt and claim you for himself. Fucking his fist was never going to be enough to compare to your little pussy. You feel like heaven. How he was going to keep you at arms length again after this was beyond him. He pushes those thoughts away as he helps you swing your legs over his shoulders.

“You needed this, didn’t you?” He teases you, knowing fully well that you were both needing this because of the quirk. “Answer me honestly, baby. Tell me how badly you needed me to fuck you.”

Your brain nearly short circuits. There were no words to tell him just how badly you’ve been needing to be pounded into the mattress by your boss. You lick your lips and try to say something, but his cock rams against your sweet spot and you’re right back to a drooling, moaning mess.

“Look at you,” he grunts. “Look at you, drooling…” he laughs softly but it turns into a moan. “How the fuck am I supposed to last?”

Toshinori pulls you in with each thrust, bruising your hips with his tight hold. He can’t stop himself as he chases his high. You’re so damn tight, so damn warm. The way you keep moaning his name in such a pathetic way, it’s making him wish he could hear these kinds of moans every night.

“Come on, be a good girl and tell me how badly you needed this.”

Your nails dig into his back as he continues to rearrange your guts. You spit out something that sounds vaguely like “needed it real bad,” but you’re in such a state that he doesn’t know if what you said were actual words.

“Fuck,” he growls. “Fuck fuck fuck, I…”

“Inside,” you plead. “Inside, please!”

His eyes roll back and he slumps against you. “Can’t just fuckin’ say shit like that, baby.”

His hips are still rocking as he stays clung to you. Both of you are drenched in sweat and shared juices now, making everything just that much more messy. His balls begin to draw up, making him grit his teeth in anticipation for the big finish.

Toshinori licks his fingers and reaches between you both to rub your clit. It’s like touching a livewire because you fall off the edge with another cry of his name. The pulsing of your walls around his thick cock has him downright whimpering at this point.

His vision cuts to white as he begins to pump you full of his seed. Rope after rope of his thick cum fills your tight little cunt. When he pulls out, he strokes himself some more to paint your mound with his cum. 

You’re quick to pull him in for another kiss. You want to remember this for as long as you can. You know that he’ll push you away when this is all said and done. 

Then he surprises you with his own needy kisses. His large hands cup your face and he rubs his nose against yours. The quirk was subsiding fast now, leaving you both a bit more level-headed. You smile up at him and his heart flutters in his chest.

Toshinori gathers you up in his arms, holding you close. He doesn’t want to regret this. He doesn’t want this to end with you and him pushing each other away because it got awkward. For the first time, he thinks about how he could make this work.

“I’m sorry for the way I acted at the start of this,” he whispers. “I didn’t mean to push you away.”

“It’s okay,” you whisper back. “I’m not holding it against you.”

It’s warm against his chest. It feels nice to snuggle like this after such intense sex. He’s careful with you, which is different from every other time he’s tried to be gentle with you. Usually he’s so scared but right now, it’s like he’s comfortable to hold you and kiss you softly.

“I know you probably are too tired to talk about the repercussions of this, so let’s maybe wait until tomorrow.” He suggests.

“That sounds good.”

Your eyes close, and you’re nestled against his chest. Toshinori knows that no matter what happens next, he will still hold you in high regards. If anything, this changes the way he’s going to be protective over you.

Because he knows now, he’s deeply in love with you.

reblogs and comments always appreciated!

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[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Poorly Explains: Epic The musical

Troy saga

Odysseus: We are going to reverse piñata these bitches. Then I’m going home to my wife and son.

(Proceeds to kick ass)

Odysseus: (gets a vision) What in Hades was that?

Zeus: need you to stab something.

Odysseus: Cool

(Breaks into a nursery)

Odysseus: You want me to kill this baby?!

Zeus: Yep! He will grow up and kill your family if you don’t. Good luck with your mental health after this.

Odysseus: (sings about being a guy before dropping the baby out the window)

Odysseus: I may have some PTSD

Eurylochus: I’m going to be a Massive pain later btw, I’m hungry.

Odysseus: Stealth mission on the island. Polites you’re with me.

Polites: I’m just covered in death flags.

(Later)

Polites: you should be more receptive

Odysseus: Maybe you’re right… but not with these guys.

(Athena appears)

Athena: Bitch did I just catch you feeling things again? You’re a warrior of the mind.

Odysseus: Yes I remember the flashback.

(Go to cave to get food)

Cyclops Saga

Polyphemus: why you invading my cave and killing my sheep?!

Odysseus: S*** man. Our bad. The name is nobody. Have some wine as an apology.

Polyphemus:(chugs it) Thanks… now I kill you.

(Polyphemus proceeds to go clubbing)

Polites: Oh no my death flags… (gets killed)

Eurylochus: So we killing that cyclops?

Odysseus: No… we are blinding him, stealing his sheep and then I’m doxxing myself.

Athena: What the f***?! I am leaving. You are too emotional.

Odysseus: This is why you have no friends!

Athena:… F*** you… you man! (Leaves)

(A storm approaches)

Storm Saga

Odysseus: probably unrelated to the cyclops but oh look! Sky islands!

Eurylochus: Captain… I think maybe we should NOT mess with the gods anymore.

Odysseus: Eurylochus, I get your concern… but don’t undermine me again.

Aeolus: Yo, I put the storm in this bag. You should be good. Just don’t have anyone open it.

Odysseus: No worries. I completely trust my crew and they wouldn’t be mutinous enough to disobey my order

(The crew proceeds to prove him wrong)

Poseidon: Oh look, it’s Odysseus of Ithaca. The guy who blinded my son.

Odysseus:… F***! The storm was related.

Poseidon: Killing your fleet.

Odysseus: Because I DIDNT kill your son?

Poseidon: Yep! Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves

(Wipes out fleet)

Odysseus: Seriously? What the f***!?

Poseidon: Your turn now

Odysseus: Lol nope! (Opens wind bag to release rest of the storm.

(Lands on Circe’s island)

Circe Saga

Eurylochus: Captain… I need to tell you

Odysseus: Eury… not now. Go scout or something.

(Eurylochus leaves then comes back)

Eurylochus: Men are pigs.

Odysseus: That’s a rude thing to say sure they have some crass

Eurylochus: No. A witch turned them into pigs.

Odysseus: oh… well damn.

Hermes: Hey Odysseus, want to fight Circe?

Odysseus: Ballin.

(Proceeds to go fight Circe, nearly wins)

Circe: How about I let you tap this ass (secretly holding knife)

Odysseus: Look, you are hot. But I have a wife who I’m an unapologetic simp for.

Circe: Damn, I can’t kill you. But I will send you to the underworld.

Odysseus: Wait… isn’t that the same thing?

(So Odysseus and his crew are restored and sent to the underworld.)

Underworld Saga

Odysseus: Sure is Undertale Genocide route up in here.

Polites: Catch phrase.

Anticlea: Dying… Odysseus I’m your mother and I died waiting.

Odysseus: I am going to need so much therapy later.

Tiresias: Vague Spoilers! Also your wife with a man who is a total monster

Odysseus: WHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tiresias: Good luck bitch. (Leaves)

Odysseus: Maybe I need to be a monster

(They leave the underworld)

Thunder saga

Syren: Odysseus, it’s me your wife. You should jump in the water

Odysseus: But Penelope… I’m just a sexy little baby.

Syren: please?

Odysseus: Okay, but only if you tell me how to get to Ithaca by avoiding Poseidon.

Syren: (gives directions) now jump in

Odysseus: (goes from UwU to 🔪🔪🔪)

Odysseus: BTW we captured your friends.

Syren: WTF

Odysseus: Sashimi time

(Slaughters them)

Odysseus: To the lair of Scylla

Eurylochus: Hey Captain… I need to tell you something…

Odysseus: Eurylochus have the crew light up 6 torches

Eurylochus: I opened the wind bag!

Odysseus: … Make sure you’re holding one of the torches.

Scylla: Oh boy free eats.

(Eats 6 people)

Eurylochus: Did you just sacrifice 6 of our friends?!

Odysseus: You are litterally the LAST person who gets to judge.

(Mutiny occurs)

Eurylochus: I’m hungry. Oh look cows.

Odysseus: You idiot don’t touch the cows. They are the sun god’s!

(The cow was killed)

Zeus: So I heard you like killing cattle. Great news I love flexing on mortals.

Odysseus: Damn it Eurylochus…

Zeus: Alright Odysseus, you get to choose. You or your crew.

Odysseus: Me. I miss my wife.

Eurylochus: Seriously?

Odysseus: You Litterally caused a mutiny a few hours ago. You guys ain’t s***

Zeus: Welp. Time to Bolt

(Kills everyone but Odysseus)

Wisdom Saga

(8 year time skip)

Telemachus: Yo what up everyone. I’m the lovable son of Odysseus. He’s been missing for a while and now we got an infestation of Simps.

Antinous: You brat, where’s your hot mom?

Telemachus: Stop objectifying my mom.

Antinous: What you gonna do about it champ?

(Proceeds to get in a fist fight)

Telemachus: I could really use some help?

Athena: Did somebody need help?

Telemachus: A Friend?!

Athena: Uppercut that bitch.

(Telemachus proceeds to lose but did put up a decent fight)

Telemachus: You are my best friend now.

Athena: I would bury myself for you.

Telemachus: So you mentioned another friend of yours. You should go help him too.

Athena: Yea… I should. I wonder what he’s been up to

(Sees everything he’s been up to including getting captured by calypso)

Calypso: I’m a hot goddess. How are you not begging me to bone?

Odysseus: I miss my wife.

(Is borderline suicidal)

Athena: Crap… it’s worse than I thought.

Zeus: Wait… you want us to intervene on behalf of a mortal? We are gods. We don’t do that

Athena: That is Litterally ALL you do. And usually disguised as animals so you can…

Zeus: (changing subject) Okay okay! Let’s make it a game. Convince these gods to release him and me. Then I’ll release him.

Apollo: He killed the Syrens. I liked their songs.

Athena: They started it, and now the other Syrens will be more careful

Apollo: Fair point. Release him.

Hephaestus: He sacrificed his crew.

Athena: They betrayed him first, and if he is freed he will Rebuild his life.

Hephaestus: Okay fair, Release him.

Aphrodite: His mother died waiting for him.

Athena: The War was your f***ing fault!

Ares: Nice try. (Buts in)

Athena: Ares you cheapshotting bastard.

Area: He mocked the cyclops but didn’t kill him, used cowardly tactics. He’s pathetic and weak like his son!

Athena: (rage mode activated) HOLD YOUR TONGUE! Don’t insult my boy!

(Kicks ares ass)

Athena: Odysseus will slaughter all the suitors, and tell your whore of a girlfriend broken hearts can mend.

Ares and Aphrodite: Release him.

Hera: Give me one good reason.

Athena: He’s never cheated in his wife.

Hera: (glares at Zeus) Release him immediately.

Athena: I won your game.

Zeus: Ah but you forget… I’m a petty bitch! (Strikes her with lightning)

Athena: (badly hurt) Please… release him.

(And it’s implied he did)

Vengence Saga

Calypso: I’m not sorry for loving you.

Odysseus: You kept me here against my will for 8 years. Whatever emotions I feel towards you are Stockholm syndrome at best. Later.

(Hermes appears)

Hermes: Ready for one last ride?

Odysseus: Bring it!

(Proceeds to have a dance number with Hermes and get passed Charybdis)

Odysseus: I’m finally home.

Poseidon: Bitch you thought.

Odysseus: No, I am not dealing with this today.

Poseidon: Get in the water!

Odysseus: 600 Strike!

(Cue anime fight)

Poseidon: You may have won by some miracle… but now that storm blocks your way home. Sucks to be you.

Odysseus: No… sucks to be you.

(Odysseus proceeds to penetrate Poseidon with his trident until the god begs for mercy)

Poseidon: How will you sleep at night.

Odysseus: Next to my wife. On a mattress from Mattressfirm! Save 100 dollars on your next purchase with the code f***youposeidon.

(Now at Ithaca)

Ithaca saga

Penelope: Welp, I’ve stalled as long as I could with the Loom. Time to use the bow stall challenge.

The suitors: It’s impossible! No one could string this bow.

Penelope: Skill issue, call me when someone does.

(Hours later)

Antinous: F*** this! Let’s just go kill her son and then open her bedroom door and [Redacted)

(Gets killed by arrow)

Odysseus: I’m killing all of you now.

Suitors: We need to get weapons:

Telemachus: I’m back, and you guys should just surrender now.

Suitors: Are you nuts, your father will kill us anyway. (Proceeds to attack son.

Odysseus: Oh I’m going to kill you guys even harder now.

(Brutally kills all the suitors)

Telemachus: Daddy?

Odysseus: Son?

(Cue hug)

Odysseus: I’m so proud of you. Now go tell your mother I’m home. I’ll be there in a moment.

Telemachus: I will. (Heads off to tell mom)

Odysseus: So Athena, you gonna say hi or…

Athena: You may have been right about being merciful.

Odysseus: Nah, you were right. And btw, I’m gonna retire from this warrior business. I only want to see my wife. I’m too old for this s***

(Prepares to see wife)

Penelope: Is that you my love?

Odysseus: I changed a Lot over the years… I’m not the same. But could you fall in love with me again maybe?

Penelope: I see… move our wedding bed then.

Odysseus: WTF that is Rooted to the ground. I made that bed with my hands! How can you ask that.

Penelope: Only my husband knew that. So you are him!

Odysseus: Oh…

Penelope: I will fall in love with you every single time. No matter where or when.

Odysseus: (crying) Penelope!

Penelope: Now get your ass over here! I’ve waited 20 years for you and momma has needs.

[liillyliilly]

Accismus

sakusa kiyoomi x reader words; 1228 synopsis; he feigns disinterest in something he secretly desires.

All-Japan Youth training camp. You're a lucky bastard if you can get an invitation. At least that’s what most volleyball players would say.

But for her, star female middle blocker for Itachiyama Academy’s girls' volleyball club, they personally scouted her out to come to the camp and play with some of the best boys across the nation. It wasn’t luck for her, it was pure skill.

The invitation for the girls training camp had come earlier of course.

She had to explain to the coordinator of the training camp that her father had scheduled a trip back home to his hometown in Brazil and then to her mother's home in America that same time, but that she was extremely interested in attending the camp. Her coaches helped to convince the board to let her attend the boys camp.

She had started off as any other volleyball player, lost and confused on the court. But after middle school and after intensive training, she proudly bore the title of middle blocker and pinch server.

“Kiyo?” Komori peeks his head into the dorm, Y/n taking her time observing the frame of Sakusa’s dorm room door. His room is spotless and practically shines from all the time he spent cleaning and sanitizing it.

“Yes?”

“Are you ready?” Komori pulls her into the dorm with him, the two sitting down on Sakusa’s bed and watching as he folded several shirts into a duffel bag. Sakusa keeps a blank face before shrugging and zipping up his bag.

When she groans at his lack of enthusiasm and falls onto his bed, Sakusa furrows his eyebrows. “Off.” He snaps his fingers, and Y/n immediately hops off his bed and races out the door claiming to need to finish packing before they all got on the bus. Komori tries and fails at hiding his smirk, looking out the door to check if Y/n had actually left. Sakusa knew full well that she had finished packing a week ago from pure excitement.

“So, you like Y/n huh?” Komori teased, poking Sakusa in his side before laughing wildly.

“No. I just admire her skills as a volleyball player.” He muttered. He put a mask on and lifted his duffel bag over his shoulder. “Let’s go.” Sakusa motioned his hand to usher Komori out, and then he exited the dorm.

Sakusa was lying. He did like Y/n. It was just never going to happen, them dating or anything. Sakusa was convinced of it. The only she wanted from him was a good training partner, and that was that.

He remembered how first year was scary enough for anyone, but being a first year and also joining and intense club sport? That’s difficult. So oftentimes, Sakusa found himself practicing throughout the night and into the early hours of the morning. When the sun shined through the gym windows with shades of pink and purple, calling out to Sakusa for him to leave the gym.

But when he did try to leave the gym, he was met with big eyes that bore into his soul. When he looked down a little more, he saw a smile so bright and blinding he thought he would need glasses.

“You’re Sakusa Kiyoomi right?”

“Yes?”

“Don't answer me with a question, Kiyoomi,” She had only known him for a minute and she had already begun using his first name. She walked into the gym and slid off her jacket, leaving her in the girls’ volleyball uniform. “You’re spiking for me. I need to work on read blocking. Let's go. Strip out of that hideous yellow jacket and spike for me.”

Sakusa froze and stayed in place, when she jutted a hip out and rested a hand on it, she clapped several times to bring him to attention. “Get going pretty boy.”

He didn’t know what compelled him to spike for her that early morning when he was already exhausted. All he knew was that she ignited a fire inside of him. A fire that told him to keep playing even though he was tired and his hair was matted down onto his head from the sweat.

They were only friends. That’s what he kept repeating to himself as they got onto the bus. As they unpacked. As they went through training camp. When she got sleepy and he let her rest her head on his shoulder even though she drooled a little. They were only friends.

Sakusa had decided to take an early bath one of the nights, before anyone else. Then he would get his dinner, the optimal way of avoiding as many people as possible.

She was sitting next to Miya Atsumu and Kageyama Tobio, arms motioning wildly around her, as she talked passionately about volleyball. Sakusa of course saw her, but also saw how entranced both Kageyama and the Miya boy were.

"Oh, I hate setter dumps. You think you're going to get another block kill yeah, but then a setter douchebag ruins the flow of the rally and shuts everything down by dumping the ball like a child." Even when she insulted a different position, everyone knew it was due to her keen game sense. A game sense that prioritized the flow, the respect between players, and treating the ball like God. Her place of worship was the court, and the net was the veil between heaven and hell.

Miya seemed to be in total agreement, nodding along. Kageyama pursed his lips in contemplation. Sakusa tucked his hands in his pockets. Once he turned the corner, he texted Komori to bring him an orange back to the room they were sharing.

The last practice was in game clothes, the uniforms each player would be wearing when they went back to their teams.

The girls uniforms this year were the typical sleeveless shirts, but they went with a tighter fabric than usual, the mesh and polyester designed to be a body suit rather than just a shirt, with the shorts going over the bodysuit.

She stood in front of the mirror, the yellow and green colors circling around the uniform. She shrugged before going to the main gym.

When the hungry gaze of teenage boys was present throughout practice, Sakusa sneered. His only solution to the newfound distraction was to throw his jacket over her shoulders.

The girls uniform was tight, uncomfortably so to Sakusa. She claimed she loved the way her movement was unrestricted and how she could feel the air rushing around her on the court.

“Kiyoomi?” She dropped her stance for blocking and she turned over to Sakusa. Several boys on the other courts clicked their tongues before sighing and then going back to practicing.

“When practice is over, you’ll get cold.” He stated before setting up for another spike.

She rolled her eyes, but kept the jacket around her shoulders before slipping her arms into the sleeves. It was just big enough to not hinder her blocks too much. Komori just shook his head, rubbed his temples, and squatted down for another receive.

After practice, when she took off the jacket again and set it down on the bench, Sakusa’s mouth curled downwards underneath his mask. He didn’t mean to catch feelings for her. Sakusa never caught anything, never germs, never any illnesses. So being lovesick is something that horrified him to the bone.

[prettyboypistol]

How the TF2 Mercs Kiss! || TF2 x GN!Reader Headcanons

Scout

VERY eager, but VERY inexperienced. Spends more time hyping himself up by bragging to you about how he's totally made out with so many girls before.

Surprisingly shy at first, heartwarmingly innocent and wholesome in the beginning. Chaste and fluttering kisses that help him gain confidence.

If you seem receptive to him, Jeremy gets a lot more bold and experimental. Yeah, he's never kissed anyone with tongue before but that ain't stopping him now.

Overall, he's adorably innocent. Playfully tease him while you show him the right way to kiss.

Soldier

Surprisingly amazing kisser and I will die on this hill. God tier SSS+ Class kisses every time.

Have you ever felt an all-consuming passion in one kiss? A man's entire feelings and being as you lock lips?

Master of subtle touches, there is no "just kissing" with Jane. His hands sneak to cup your face, a hand on your waist that pulls you ever so close to him.

This mf will give you the best make out session of your life and nobody will ever believe that you actually love SOLDIER. MISTER ROCKET JUMP HIMSELF.

Pyro

Pyro kisses more with their hands and with little rubs with their cheeks on your skin.

Has a huuuuuge thing for you kissing/taking their fingers into your mouth, and they find it just as affectionate and intimate as kissing. They like being able to see you fully, rather than feeling your lips on thier mask and vaguely seeing you.

They feel more of a grounding connection when they see you, holding them by the hand. It's like you can't be affected by their hallucinations when you are so close to them.

If you are blindfolded and like, DEEP committed into the relationship, you MIGHT feel cracked and warm lips against yours. It's loving and perfect, but weird. You much prefer the Pyro you know they're comfortable with, rather than forcing them to conform to the standard around you two.

Engineer

God, he kisses like warm chocolate. Languid, lovely, and fucking addictive.

Always a tad romantic to it, he'd never platonically kiss you on the mouth. Murmurs out a little "c'mere hun" or "there's my love." before every kiss.

HAND. HOLDING. This man cannot help how his fingers intertwined with yours as you kiss- even just a quick kiss! He tries to sneak hold your hand!

No matter the context, scenario, or pretense, as soon as you pull away he gives you this sappy ass lovestruck smile. Goofy half smile full of affection. The amount of LOVE in this mans EXPRESSION-

Demoman

Probably the most fun to kiss out of all the mercs. He's got an air of casualty about him that makes you feel comfortable- be it platonic or romantic.

His lips are always ever so slightly chapped due to the alcohol on his mouth, but his kisses are full and comsuming of all your senses.

Tavish and you just kinda view kissing as another form of affection between you two, just like cuddling or quality time. You taste more alcohol than him sometimes, but the little giggling hum that Tavish unconsciously lets out when he's content tells you all you need to know about how much he likes you.

Likes to kiss you randomly. Oh, gave him a cup of coffee? kiss. Passed by him in a match? kiss for good luck. Changed the channel on the TV? you seemed bored, kiss kiss kiss.

Heavy

This man kisses like the world will end tomorrow. Every single time. It's always heartfelt and possessive and like he put all his feelings into the kiss.

Minikisses are his favorite. After a long and devoted kiss, he breaks the gesture, only to kiss you briefly again, then again, and again.

Usually the minikisses travel around your face and neck as his hands wrap around your back and waist.

He wants to surround you- to drown you in love. He wants to make you feel safe and protected with every act of intimacy.

Sniper

This man is a coin flip between tender, earnest kisses and wildly possessive kisses.

Gentle handholds and private smiles meant only for you OR pinning you against the nearest surface with a bold grasping on your face as he claims you more than you could ever realize.

He loves claiming you in both ways. He likes when you give yourself to him as a gift and, in turn, offering himself to you. But that prey drive in him loves to chase you too.

Mutters between kisses about how much he needs you to live.

Spy

Knows exactly how to push all the right buttons with you. He puts his hands and caresses you in all the right spots.

Every kiss is deliberate, means something, and has the intention of making you wrap around his finger for him to completely his.

His kisses are languid and drawn out, as if he is that too-expensive alcohol he adores so much. Wave after wave of pleasurable class oozes from him as he dizzies you deeper into his web of affection.

This man is able to make you infatuated with a single kiss and he absolutely loves how he can make you sigh in exhiliration.

Medic

Imma be real with you chief, he's the worse kisser out of the bunch, but the passion is outmatched. This man is ruled by the tip of his tongue and the zipper of his pants when he's around you.

He's rough and overpowering, the need to drown you in pleasure flips in him like a fucking lightswitch. Hands all over you, wherever he can grab at.

Honestly? He'd be fine if you two weren't more intimate and only kissed, he'd be fine with that. He'd love to just spend hours making out with you.

Uses kisses to distract you when he needs to do blood tests on you or general needlework.

[nthspecialll]

Hunting Requests

Recently I finished the side mission "A Better World, A New Friend" which involves a long list of hunting requests, all of which are a pain in the ass because they involve small animals, so here is a few good locations and tip and tricks I have found, should anyone else need.

Firstly, you can start the mission at almost any train station on the notice board by picking up the requests, afterwards they will be sent to you at the office.

First tip, PICK UP THE SMALL ANIMALS FIRST. You will be given a list of different animals, some of which can fit in your bag, some cannot. The animals that you can put in your bag will not rot, while the ones that don't fit in your bag will rot once on your horse so if you take those first you got a timer to catch the small animals before the big ones rot. Take the small animals first so you don't got that timer hanging over your head.

Chosing what weapon and ammo you use is also esencial becuase if you shoot a frog with a repeater it will get blasted and all that time you spent tracking will be wasted. I will tell you what weapons to use for what animals, but I will also give a full diagram of all animals under the cut.

Hunting request 1

Perfect Squirrel Carcass

Perfect Rabbit Carcass

Use a bow with small game arrows (which you can craft with animal fat and flying feathers, both of which you get from killing ducks) for the squirrel and a varmint rifle for the rabbit.

Both of these animals can be found fairly easily in the woods around Horseshoe Overlook, the rabbits are especailly easy to find on the road leading up to the train tracks and Valentine. Just crouch down, use your binoculars and take your time.

Hunting request 2

Perfect Cardinal Carcass

Perfect Rat Carcass

Perfect Woodpecker Carcass

For all of these animals you will need small game arrows and the rat can be found at night in Limpany or at Fort Brennand. The fort is also a really god place for birds, but I prefer the stretch of the Dakota River right outside Limpany for any kind of small birds.

Hunting request 3

Perfect Chipmunk Carcass

Perfect Oriole Carcass

Perfect Robin Carcass

Perfect Opossum Carcass

For the first three you will need small game arrows and for the opossum you need the varmint riffle.

Both of the birds can be found by the Dakota river, but I have found that Robins spawn often on the bridge by the tracker in the Annesburg area. I sat down and watched the bridge for like two minutes and a perfect Robin appeared.

The chipmunks are very active around the Taxidermist house by Strawberry.

The opossum only spawn at night and can be found in black bone forest, right by the triankle of roads as well as Riggs Station.

Hunting request 4

Perfect Sparrow Carcass

Perfect Songbird Carcass

Perfect Toad Carcass

Perfect Bullfrog Carcass

Perfect Skunk Carcass

First four you need small game and last you need varmint riffle.

You already know what imma say about them birds and where to find them. Dakota river.

The bullfrogs can be found in the Bluewater Marsh area, and I found my toad up by o'creagh''s Run right by one of the rocks.

Skunks spawn the same places as the opossum, also at night, so blackbone forest and Riggs Station.

Hunting request 5, can only be done in epilouge

Perfect Waxwing Carcass

Perfect Bat Carcass

Perfect Blue Jay Carcass

Perfect Crow Carcass

Perfect Beaver Carcass

First four you need small game and last you need varmint riffle... I won't even talk about the blue jay and waxwing.

The bats spawn in the wolf man's cave, so if you have defeated him already approach his cave from the other side, scout and get one of them bats. They can be very hard to see because there is a lot of shadow, if there isn't a three star one, shoot into the cave, run up to Deer cabin and back then they should have respawned.

There should be several crows on the rocks by Elysian pool, I found by three star on a rock close to the cave enterence.

I had a great deal of luck with finding my Beaver by the upper montana river. More specifically, the label on the map closest Owanjila, there is a small cluster of land patches right where a road crosses the river. I had several three stars spawn there.

Good hunting my solider.

[kumeeee]

Just a little thought, yk those two black and white bracelets sae ALWAYS wears?(like seriously he even sleeps w them on). What if those were a gift from you and he refuses to take them off in fear of losing them. And it’s the fact that they’re not even expensive looking, it’s just two normal bracelets that are literally too big for his wrist but are very sentimental to him. Maybe they could be like a childhood gift from you or just special bc it’s a gift from the heart.

Like he probably even wears them to modeling gigs and gets all defensive when asked if he can take them off. If he ever DID have to take them off, he’d be so pissy about it and only gives them to you because he doesn’t trust anyone else to not lose them. Probably thinks of it as his “good luck charm” and kisses them before n after games.

But if he did lose them in like a football match..everyone should beware bc he’d be in SUCH a pissy mood 24/7. He’d first would try to find them and gets mad if his teammates are making fun of him bc it’s irreplaceable to him(would force them to help). Like imagine him on his knees on the grass trying to scout them out.😭

But anyways those are just some late night thoughts I wanted to share about his bracelets😚

[hypernova-writes]

oh i could you write a yandere heavy?? who is just obsessed with his partner since they found out she’s expecting? a cute little follow up perhaps to his kinktober story!

because ahhh i need to see heavy being all crazy all over their partner just making everybody be very gentle and careful around his little wifey.

oh he would make a crib by himself, go to every appointment AHGHJFJSHSBF.

thankyousomuch

a/n: YES YES YES!

Yandere! Heavy with Pregnant!Darling

The moment Heavy discovers you are pregnant say bye bye to your mercenary life.

You're still allowed to stay on the base, because you're still a valuable member to the team, but Heavy is NOT letting you out of his sight anytime soon.

He will monitor what you eat, scolding you if you eat something unhealthy for the baby.

When you are nearby him, expect his hands to be on your stomach, rubbing your stomach and often mumbling to himself about the baby.

"Милый.(Darling.), Are you supposed to be having that?"

"...no..."

"Then hand it here. Its not good for little baby."

Doesn't trust anyone else around you besides Medic.

Medic is your doctor for everything, and the man is over the moon! He and heavy were close friends, so of course he'd ask medic, afraid that you may try to leave if you seek outside help.

Medic is definitely snitching if you do anything that is harmful towards the baby.

Heavy Lifting, drinking,..simply STRESSING. Medic is over here calling Heavy like this-

Oh when he finds out the gender! Girl good LUCK.

I like to think Heavy would want to be a girl dad SO BAD.

Like he has experience from taking care of his sisters, so I feel like he'd be a wonderful girl dad (he'd be a great dad in general-)

Oh the other merc better PRAY they don't do anything to harm or upset you.

Especially when you get further along in the pregnancy when you're more sensitive and emotional.

Heavy will not HESITATE to fling someone over to the enemy side if they even BREATHE wrong in your direction.

Most of the time it ends up being Scout...

But Heavy Loves you! And he can't wait til your little girl comes into the world!

[languajix]

Emoji Dress-up! (TMNT Fandom Family Reunion Fashion Show event!)

Let's dress up this turtle emoji for the Fandom Family Reunion fashion show, shall we?

This is a turtle emoji! We're gonna call him Carl. Because he looks like a Carl, doesn't he? (I got him from HERE)

Carl feels like playing dress-up in honor of fashion week. What will Carl decide to wear as he struts his stuff down the runway?

And to start us all off, Carl's coming in hot dressed as a charred but totally adorable Smokey from the Sparky AU by @belleyellsaboutturtles! With a bonus Sparky, who seems to really dislike clothes. (Cabin 15)

Time for Carl to turn that smile upside down as he changes into the look of the incredibly cool Foot Captain from @v-albion's True Colors AU! And Carl strikes an unamused pose! (cabin 14)

Speaking of cool, Carl straps on some Citadel fashion as Mikhail from @chessman-protocol's Covert AU! (Cabin 14)

Carl's a big fan of sunglasses, so he makes sure to flash them as he walks down the runway as @karonkar and @owliedoesnothing's Fear's Embrace OC Marco in his usual apocalyptic style! (Cabin 13/Cabin 14 Counselor)

Carl really enjoys dressing up as @twignotstick's character Mikey/Scout! That smile charms us all. (Cabin 14)

And now our turtle emoji friend is making another drastic color choice, as he changes into It's A Complicated Equation Donnie by @leilanising! Look at that tail! (cabin 14)

After a quick jump into the shower to wash off that blue, Carl is back to take the fashion world by storm as the cheery Mikey from @justalittleobsessed's Move Along AU! Check out his stylish mask tails. What a fashion statement! :D (Cabin 15)

@banana-pancake5's Donnie has been through a lot in the Letter From My Future Self AU, but he keeps moving forward! Carl strikes a pose. (Cabin 11)

Fashion goes metaphysical as Carl takes a spin as the adorably tragic Leo (a.k.a. Spirit) from @wandering-ghost's Ghost of the Past AU! (Cabin 14)

Carl puts on some pink for @icequeenabby (and @bluefeather-tmnt)'s super cool OC Billie Hamato from Too Many Turtles! (cabin 9)

Time for Carl to take a walk on the wild side as Donju from the Good Genes, Thick Hides AU, the brainchild of cadoodledoodleydoo and languajix on the blog @clawsandpaws-creativearchive! (cabin 15)

Carl is rocking it as the awesome and very stylish Donnie from Starry TMNT by @just-another-tired-gay-artist! (Cabin 14)

@itzzaira's 2018 Mikey has been through a lot, so Carl bandages up his arms for this one, wishing Mikey good luck with healing up! (Cabin 10)

And last but not least, Carl makes another apocalyptic fashion choice as he takes on Mike from my Hold Every Memory AU! (An AU of Ghost in the Shell by Amevello Blue, which, as I always say, please check out if you haven't read it! Our buddy Carl is almost as big a fan as I am.) (Cabin 14, myself)

And with that, Carl changes back into his normal outfit to take a bow!

(And for anyone with an AU/OC character in here, enjoy your emojis! Use them wherever you'd like - discord, texting, etc! Have fun! If you would like anything tweaked let me know; I've kept all the original files and it's no problem at all to correct anything.)

@tmnt-fandom-family-reunion all cabins mentioned under the emojis, as well as in the tags below.

[argumentativeaxolotl]

Random Human AU Cars headcanons that probably don’t make any sense before I go to bed bc I can.

Lightning McQueen:

- Has accidentally called Doc “dad” before

- Has accidentally called Strip “dad” as well

- Bro can literally not stop moving- like he will not sit still and he tries so hard

- He has the shortest attention span ever if it doesn’t have to do with his friends or racing

- He actually really enjoys American Football and plays a modified version with Mater sometimes

- He was an orphan growing up

- Bro would 100% go apeshit feral if he lost a game of Uno

- Loves carnivals

- Dog person

- Forgets he’s rich sometimes and he can make his own decisions about money

- His love language is hugs and gifts

- He bought the Hot Wheels of his car and continues to buy every variation

Chick Hicks:

- Bit other kids as a child

- Filled water guns with lemonade and shot at people’s eyes

- Daddy issues(actually this is canon isn’t it?)

- Cat person

- Frighteningly good at card games like Casino “house always wins” levels of good. Like bro will somehow know what your cards are without even looking at them

- He put rocks in snowballs

- Alcoholic

- Loves anything horror, gorey, and True Crime

- He’s notoriously bad at getting people gifts, like seriously bro is not allowed to buy anything for anyone for Christmas or their birthdays that’s how bad it is(someone usually gets it for him)

- He probably has a huge gambling problem

- His love language is giving gifts

- He gives gifts as a form of apology because he’s shit at words

- Literally the best mustache in all of cars- like he keeps that thing at top condition 101% of the time

- He never actually finished school because his dad forced him into racing as soon as he could

- Probably had rabies at one point and somehow survived

- If you somehow manage to become a good friend of his, he’ll actually be super chill w/ you

- Rich as FUCK

Strip Weathers:

- Legally adopted Cal after his parents passed away(or sumn idk)

- Has several scars on his arm from the crash during the tie-breaker race

- He, Tex, Lynda, and Cal were practically inseparable after the crash

- He and Tex are literally the bestest of buds like they are homies to the MAX

- He doesn’t hold any ill-will against Chick even if he should and is allowed to

- The “Boy Scout” of racing(think Superman or Captain America)

- He listens to “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X while working with his horses. Cal cringes every time.

- He never swears unless he’s serious about something or is extremely upset or concerned

- He almost fainted when he met Doc for the first time, almost immediately asking for an autograph

- He has a ranch full of horses and enjoys horse racing as well as car racing

- Received an apology gift of both cologne and a miniature trophy from Chick

- He let Chick sign his cast after the crash

- He’s tried to teach Lightning and Bobby how to ride horses with Cal’s help. It did not go well

- He wanted to be a doctor for a little while before switching career paths

- Racing is literally in his blood(he comes from a very VERY long line of racers)

- Weirdly good at writing. Like for no reason.

- He heavily fanboyed over Doc when he was younger

Doc Hudson:

- He loves Lightning as his son

- He thinks of Sally as a surrogate daughter

- Unironically says “back in my day” whenever he’s telling a story

- He owns a shotgun and it’s hidden away in his house, far away from Lightning(who keeps trying to find it with no luck)

- He knows the most shit out of everyone and all their backstories. Bro hears the gossip and goes “nice”

- He loves watching fruit dissection videos on YouTube for some reason

- Bro is great at knitting. Like seriously. Give him ten seconds and you’ll have a whole ass sweater with a theme and everything

- He is an alcoholic(especially after his crash)

- Never got married or had children… until Lightning and Sally lmaooo

- He nearly started crying tears of joy when Lightning called him dad the first time

- He has several large burns and scars on his legs and lower back from the crash(like shit is really bad dude)

- His favorite movie is the original ghost busters

- He is a cat person

- He is a neat freak at heart yet gave up trying to clean out his garage because of all the bad memories

[dangan-radio]

ultimate philosopher komaeda / ultimate director hinata. rambling under the cut

i wanted to make an au with giving them talents just to explore how they would react to it and i think ultimately they'd both believe they're undeserving of the recognition despite it

komaeda's talent basically comes from him having the same luck cycle and everything but for a class he puts up a website with a few essay-type things analyzing concepts by bringing up philosophy and how he personally views things. he sort of has no idea how much traffic it actually brings in and he's purposefully avoiding trying to figure that out because if it was popular it would mean it'd be good luck which would lead to something bad. but the idea that he can put his thoughts down and leave them is appealing so he keeps coming back to it

the school finds it and because his worldview is centered around the idea of hope and talent (plus with how extensive his writings are because komaeda has a chronic inability to shut up) they end up scouting him through that (along with the other letter since. he does still have his luck. since it is kind of crucial in informing his worldview. even if its not a recognized talent)

meanwhile hinata's came from the fact that he's always wanted to be like talented people and he found out one of his friends from his elementary school's father was a movie producer so age 8 he went to him with a pitch for a movie (a memory which he looks back on and cringes about to this day)

the producer laughs about it but does offer to bring hinata on set if he gets the chance and the event sparks something in hinata who makes it his goal to learn as much about it as possible

a few years later he knows a lot more about how the industry works and because he relies on logic more than emotion he has sort of broken down what makes movies popular bit by bit into a formula in a very circle theory-esque way. he goes back and tries pitching a different idea which actually gets approval. and he ends up being able to make multiple movies by the time he's in high school and that's how he gets scouted for hope's peak

but the thing is. hinata cannot watch anything he creates after its finished because he will always find something wrong with it. and he always blames it on himself because it would be incredibly rude to blame the other people who worked on the movie with him especially when everyone tries so hard at their job to stay in such a fast-paced industry. so he has no idea why anyone actually enjoys anything he makes because like. its supposed to be interesting and compelling. it was calculated to be such. but it's still awful and terrible and he's still waiting for the day when the axe drops and everyone realizes this for themselves

[datvtranscripts]

Signs and Portents Deleted Dialogue

The End of the Beginning: Hideout and Arlathan

Dialogue is sorted in scene order to the best of my ability.

Signs and Portents Masterpost About Deleted Dialogue

—

Rook: I don’t hear fighting. Are we sure Solas went in here?

Harding: The Venatori were sure.

—

Varric: Those paintings. Solas did those. I’d know his style anywhere.

—

Rook: Where is everyone? Does this place have a back door we don’t know about?

Neve: Not that I saw. But this place is full of surprises.

—

Rook: What is this? Those statues look like…

Neve: The Venatori that came in after Solas. He turned them to stone.

Do not reference past DA: Varric: Yep. he does that.

Reference past DA: Varric: He did this to half a Qunari invasion force a few years ago.

Mage Rook: I’ve studied magic a fair amount, but… the sheer power involved… Neve, did your training include a counter-spell for this? Neve: I’m not sure there is a counter-spell for this.

Non-Mage Rook: I’ve never seen anyone petrified by magic before. Neve, how do you counter something like this? Neve: I’m not sure you can.

Varric: I told you he was too powerful to just punch in the face.

—

Rook: Judging by the way Solas painted these elves, I think they’re binding the dragon.

Non-Veil Jumper Mage Rook: Neve, I’m so-so on elven magic, but… does that look like binding to you, maybe?

Veil Jumper Rook: I recognize this iconography from the Veil Jumpers. These are servants of the elven gods. They’re doing something to… is that a dragon?

—

Rook: Might be some useful gear here.

Do not reference past DA: Varric: Help yourself. Solas won’t mind.

Reference past DA Varric: Grab whatever you like. Solas left the Inquisition with some of out best gear. Far as I’m concerned, he owes us.

—

Neve: That’s some magic. Definitely not from Tevinter. Any guesses what it is?

—

Neve: Watch yourself. All the magic attracted demons!

—

Neve: This barrier will take a little finesse to disable. Want me to take a look?

—

Neve: Nothing to it.

Harding: There. Gate’s open.

—

Harding: These rocks. The demons left us a path to follow!

Varric: I’ll have to send them a thank-you note.

—

Varric: Rage demon! Watch out, they run hot!

Neve: I can cool it off.

—

Neve: Got more friends!

Neve: Oh! Charming!

Neve: There we go.

—

Harding: Please. Not more earthquakes. We don’t have the time!

—

Harding: That looks like a pride demon!

Varric: Like we didn’t have enough lightning crashing down already.

—

Varric: It’s all yours, Rook. Finish it off!

—

Harding: Would Solas summon demons to protect himself?

Varric: My guess is the Veil’s damaged enough for the demons to come through.

—

Harding: I can’t believe he’s trying to talk Solas down. I hope you were right to back him on it.

Harding: I can’t believe he thinks he can talk Solas down. Why didn’t he listen to us?

—

Rook: You think Varric’s having any luck getting through to Solas?

Harding: I hope so.

Neve: Judging by the sky, I wouldn’t count on it.

—

Neve: Looks like we’re clear for the moment.

Rook: Come on—let’s see how Varric’s doing.

—

Dialogue options:

Positive: Varric’s in trouble. Rook: Varric needs our help.

Sarcastic: I’m adjusting the plan. Rook: I’m thinking it’s time for a change of plans.

Stoic: I’ve had enough of Solas. Time to shut Solas up. We move to plan B.

Afraid: Shit. We have to do something! Rook: Shit! We need a better plan.

—

Rook: Agreed. But maybe we can disrupt his ritual.

Harding: These pillars? They’re part of the ritual, and that one’s not lit up yet.

Neve: Good eye. If we disable the pillar, it might throw off the enchantments.

Rook: That’s a lot of raw magic between us and the pillars.

Harding: I’ve scouted around magical hazards before. I can find us a safe route.

Neve: Are you sure? I know ritual magic. I might have a better shot at getting us through.

Dialogue options:

Harding, get us there. (Harding will lead the way and could be risking injury.)

Neve, lead the way. (Neve will lead the way and could be risking injury.)

Harding, get us there. Rook: Lead the way, Harding. Harding: I’m on it. Follow me.

Neve, lead the way. Rook: Get us over there, Neve. Neve: You got it. Let’s go.

—

Varric: Me? Take down the Dread Wolf? I’m flattered. No, I just came to ask you a question. So, you rebelled against the other gods, and it was a disaster. Then you imprisoned them and created the Veil, and that was a disaster. So how is this time gonna work out any better? Can you tell me that?

Solas: I understand your hesitance, but what I do now must be done, despite it being past your comprehension.

—

Varric: No mistake is worth killing innocent people over.

Solas: The question is what lives, and how. My ritual will heal the world, and restore what was driven out of balance.

Varric: C'mon, Chuckles. Who are you trying to convince here? Me, or yourself?

Solas: Varric…

Varric: You’re not the first good man I’ve seen talk himself into a bad decision. The question is whether you can admit it.

[seeingivy]

the scouts

roommate eren x f!reader 

eren’s hometown friends have a lot to say. vis a vis you. 

**find the series masterlist here

content warning: galliard slander, irritable bowel syndrome, mikasa don’t gaf, connie and sasha are thieves, lying??, carla yeager being a sunshine, eren being a cheeky little shit, laxatives 

an: alright. feast my children. pls keep ur little memes and drawings and funny comments coming bc I love them (and they incentivize me to write chapters faster so I can seem more of them LOL) - also @togemayo and @rebeccawinters your connie and reiner cameos have ARRIVED, love you da mostest 

previous part linked here

- 

“There’s no way in fucking hell you called me about this. I am a grown man, with a child. I’m above stupid shit like this.” 

“Fuck you, Galliard. Pieck would help me with this, you know that.” 

“Then call her. I’m going to block you.” 

“You don’t think I tried that? I would never willingly talk to you, like ever. Please, Galliard, just tell me what to do.” 

“Twerp, you’re giving him a necklace, not proposing marriage. You’re not going to look desperate if you walk to a fucking soccer field and just to give it to him.” 

“Okay. Are you sure?” 

“I’m hanging up now.” 

“Like really. You’re not just saying that, are you?” 

“Don’t call me unless you’re dying. And even then, you better have tried every other person you know before you ever dial this number again.” 

Static. Fucking asshole hung up on you. 

Eren has a soccer game today. He’d let you know early on in the week that he wouldn’t be here to make breakfast for you on Friday because his family and a few of his hometown friends were coming to watch the game. Apparently, this game was a really big deal - some type of rivalry type thing with another university. 

You weren’t going. Obviously. You had stopped going the second Hitch took your jersey, because it was too embarrassing to think about going now. I mean what are you even supposed to wear now? And what’s the point of going if Eren’s with her and she’s going to be there? 

Yet here you are, waiting in the line outside of the stadium. Everyone around you is decked out - forest green shirts, face paint, streamers - and you can already tell that this game is way more intense than the ones you had been to. In the past, it would be you and maybe five other people in the stands, spread out doing homework. But this game looks like it’s going to be packed. 

All the more reason to do this. 

to jean-boy

you: hey. are you at the game today? 

jean-boy: yeah. on the field with min. they’re all warming up. 

you: i didn’t realize this game would be such a big deal lol. 

jean-boy: yeah. I think everyone’s kind of anxious. eren hasn’t made a single goal all morning and he’s getting more pissed each time he tries 

you: doesn’t help that he left his necklace at home 

jean-boy: the key necklace? did you bring it? 

you: yeah. that’s why im here. i remember he said something about like he always loses games or gets hurt or something when he doesn’t wear it. thought i’d bring it so i don’t have to help him to the toilet when he breaks his legs or smth. 

jean-boy: meet me in the back. ill let you in so you can give it to him. 

You awkwardly wait in the back of the stadium, teetering on your heels as you wait for Jean. You’re just giving him his necklace. It doesn’t mean anything. He won’t know that you like him because you’re just giving him his good luck charm. You’re being a good friend. Anyone in your position would do this. 

“Hey.” 

“Hi Jean.” 

“What are you wearing?” 

You look down, only now paying attention to the outfit that you were wearing. You didn’t think it was that bad - black jeans and a blue cardigan. 

“Why? What’s wrong with it?” 

“You wore the rival's colors.” 

“Okay? Arrest me, Jean.” 

“No, it’s like a thing. You can’t wear the rival's colors. Armin and Eren are going to make you change the second you get on the field.” 

“You guys are so superstitious. It’s just a shirt.” 

He shakes his head as you both walk through the door, pacing across the turf as he sets out to look for Eren. All the players are running on the field, kicking balls in between each other, hitting them into the nets. You spot Eren at the end, his head in his hands as he talks to Armin on the side. 

“Hey. Found him. You can go back, I’ll just give it to him and leave.” 

He nods, leaving your side as you make your way over there. You walk up just in time to catch the end of Armin and Eren’s conversation, your ears burning. You shouldn’t have come. 

“How do you know you love Annie? Because, sometimes I think I love her, Armin.” 

You can pretend like that one didn’t sting. You clear your throat, the two of them turning their backs to look at you. You watch Eren’s eyes nearly boggle out of their sockets as Armin drops the water bottle he was holding, at the sight of you standing there. Armin awkwardly walks away as Eren walks up, his eyes still flashing in shock. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“What happened to hello? How are you? My name is?” 

“How much did you hear?” 

“None of it. Did I miss something important?” 

You see his shoulders relax, pushing out a sigh of relief. First he calls you his best friend and then he can’t even tell you he thinks he might love Hitch?

“Yeah, you almost heard about my murder plot. It all started that fateful day, when I let you move into my apartment.” 

“That was months ago. Surely the opportunity must have presented itself. Knife to the back in the shower…smack me across the head with a frying pan…” 

“I’m playing the long game. You’ll never see it coming.” 

You both laugh, with you rolling your eyes as the silence settles around you too. You can see the stands filling up at your sides, the anticipation building in the stadium. 

“Um so-” 

“What are you wearing, Y/N?”

“We’re not doing this, Eren.” 

“You have to change. Like now.” 

“I’m not walking around in my tank top, Eren. It’s cold. And I’ll leave anyway, I just came to give you this.” 

You hold the key necklace up, dangling it between the two of your faces. You watch his eyes light up as he takes the necklace from your hands. He then cups your face in his hand and presses a kiss to your fucking forehead, before putting his arms around you and spinning you in the air.

“Oh my fucking god, thank you. You brilliant, brilliant girl. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’ve been missing goals all morning.” 

Your brain is malfunctioning. You’ve literally picked up Eren from parties in the dead of the night and he’s barely even said thank you when you did that. This is all it takes? A fucking necklace and he gives you a forehead kiss? 

He sets you down, still flashing you a bigger than big smile as he latches the necklace on. 

“You’re not missing goals because you weren’t wearing the necklace.” 

“Yes. I was. We’re not having this argument right now, especially when you’re wearing that. I have something you can wear.” 

You hear Armin walk up, holding two jerseys in his hand. 

“Way ahead of you. She can wear mine or yours. Everyone else put their spares in their lockers already.” 

“Mine. Thanks Armin.” 

“Don’t tell me you believe in this too, Armin?” 

“Just put it on. If you don’t, Eren will blame you if the game goes wrong.” 

Armin walks away, leaving the two of you standing again. Eren’s holding the jersey out in front of you, waiting for you to put it on. 

“Full disclosure. I will blame it on you, if we lose kitty.” 

“It’s just a color.” 

“No. No, it’s the principle. Think about it. My girl can’t be wearing the rival colors on our sides of the stands. That’s just a bad omen..like we’re asking to lose the game or something.” 

My girl. 

“I’m leaving, Eren. I just came to give you the necklace.” 

He puts his hands on your waist, spinning you around to turn you towards the stadium, where everyone was sitting. He leaves one hand on there, his other sliding down to your wrist. 

“What are you doing?” 

He lifts your hand up, shaking it in front of the stadium. 

“This isn’t the time for a puppet show, Eren.” 

“Look at the second row, towards the middle.” 

You squint your eyes, scanning the entire row. And then you fucking see it. Eren’s parents and his brother. He’s making you wave at them. And they’re doing it back, nearly jumping to return the gesture.

“Eren.” 

He spins you back around and he fucking smirks at you. 

“You waved at them. Now, they’re going to expect you to go sit with them. For the entire game, mind you. Meaning you’re staying, so you should put it on.” 

Asshole. 

“Unless you want to leave my mom hanging?” 

“Give me the jersey, Eren.” 

He flashes you a winning smile, clearly delighted with his victory. You unbutton the ends of the cardigan, slipping it off and switching it with Eren’s jersey. He reaches forward, pulling out the ends of your hair that were tucked into the jersey as you smooth it against your clothes. 

“So.” 

“So.” 

“Win your game or whatever. Without the help of your stupid necklace.” 

“Planning on it, peaches. Necklace and all.” 

He pokes the side of your cheek and flashes you one last smile as he runs back onto the field, right in front of the goal. You watch as he centers the ball in front of him, kicking it into the net on the first try. He turns to the side, pointing at you after making the goal, as he mouths four words.

I told you so. 

- 

You tap Zeke on the shoulder, the three of them turning their heads towards you. 

“Hi. Mind if I sit with you guys?” 

The three of them jump up - Grisha shaking your hand very excitedly, Zeke crushing you in a hug, and Carla cupping your face in her hands, pressing a kiss on both of your cheeks. 

So this is where Eren gets it from. 

“We’re so excited you came, sweet girl. We were hoping you would find your way over here when we saw you on the field.” 

You nod, Carla squeezing your hands in hers (another thing Eren gets from her, you’re sure of it). You settle in the seat next to Zeke, brushing your sweaty palms against the ends of your pants. You can see the game is starting as they all take their places on the field, Eren giving the four of you one last wave. You look at the group of people seated directly to your right, the four of them waving back at him too. 

And then you remember. Eren’s hometown friends came down to watch his game. 

You take in the sight of the four of them. You can recognize the girl at the end, farthest from you. Mikasa - Eren’s childhood best friend, the two of them and Armin were inseparable. The two in the middle you recognize as well, from the polaroid that Eren had in his wallet. They’re both arguing with each other - with him pulling her hair and her elbowing him in the sides. The fourth boy is entirely unrecognizable to you - broad shoulders, short, messy blonde hair. 

You tap him on the shoulder. 

“Hi. You’re one of Eren’s hometown friends, right? My name is Y/N. I’m his roommate.” 

At the sound of this, the four of them turn their heads, turning to face you. 

“His roommate? Since when?” 

“Yeah. We’ve been living together since the start of the semester.” 

“Reiner, there’s no way in hell right? He kept going on and on about how he was going to finally have a bachelor pad this semester.” 

“There’s no fucking way. He literally hated having a roommate. Remember when he threw up on Samuel’s bed on purpose when he was drunk?” 

Mental note, Reiner’s the one with the blonde hair. The three of them turn their heads towards Mikasa, who's still watching the game. You’re not sure when she showed up, but Annie’s sitting at her side - the two of them linking their arms together as they sit. Right. She must already know Mikasa since her and Armin have been dating for a while. 

“Mikasa. Did you know about this?” 

“He may have mentioned it once or twice to me, Connie.” 

Buzzed hair is Connie. Connie and the girl in the middle open up the space between them, gesturing for the two of you to sit between them. You don’t miss the look they give each other as you sit down, the two of them smiling deviously. 

“I’m Sasha.” 

“And I’m Connie.” 

“It’s nice to meet you guys, really.” 

They both smile, linking their arms with yours as they start staring at you more intently. 

“Say. Do you mind answering a few questions for us?” 

“Sure.” 

“How did Eren become your roommate?” 

“I kind of had these sucky roommates last semester. They kind of didn’t mention that they didn’t want to room with me anymore so I kind of switched around at staying at my friends place while I tried to look for an apartment. I couldn’t find one after a week and I met Eren at Armin’s and he offered.” 

You watch the three of them, Reiner leaning over now, widening their eyes at you. 

“He offered? To house you, a woman, another person, in his apartment, willingly?” 

“I mean, I think so? I think he might have felt bad or something. I’m not really sure why he did it.” 

“I might have an idea.” 

At Reiner’s comment, the three of them start giggling, like they’re all in on some joke you’re not quite sure of. 

“Do you like Taylor Swift, Y/N?” 

“I do, Connie. Is it that obvious?” 

You feel Connie shaking your arm, nearly jumping out of his seat. 

“Me too. What’s your favorite album? Favorite song? Folklore or Evermore?” 

“Probably, Reputation. For the song, I think maybe Sweet Nothing? And definitely Evermore over here.” 

Reiner reaches over and smacks Connie on the back of the neck, mentioning he was getting off track. Off track of what? 

“Say. Have you ever…played Taylor Swift for Eren or something?” 

“Um, not exactly playing it for him but I kind of have a tendency to sing in the shower sometimes. But also, he did willingly watch the Reputation Stadium Tour without me prompting him to, so I think it’s growing on him.” 

At this, Connie and Sasha lean over, their faces a few feet from yours. 

“I fucking knew it. That playlist is about you.” 

“What playlist?” 

You watch Reiner pull out his phone, opening out his Spotify app. The three of them are still smirking - the same way Eren did when he trapped you into staying at the game. 

He hands you Eren’s Spotify profile, with exactly one playlist on it, called peaches. The picture is the one from when you and Eren went to see Kenny in the city, only your hands in view as you pet the cat the two of you saw on the street. 

You scroll through the playlist, with well over a hundred songs - most of them being Taylor Swift. They are organized by album, a few songs picked out from each one. Meaning, Eren went through each album and picked out the songs that he liked. Just because you said you liked Taylor Swift. I mean, it did have to be about you. It is called peaches. 

“So. Is it about you?” 

“Uh, yeah. I think so, Connie. Those are my hands. And he calls me peaches, because of my shampoo.” 

Mikasa leans over, interjecting in the conversation. 

“Did he make you switch it? The shampoo?” 

“Uh, no. I think he likes it?” 

“Hm.” 

Mikasa leans back, sharing a look with Sasha. 

“Is that a big deal or something, Connie?” 

“Kind of. Eren got really bad food poisoning from some peach flavored concoction Reiner made him once in high school. The smell makes him want to like vomit.” 

“It wasn’t a concoction, it was a protein shake. How was I supposed to know that dragon fruit was basically a laxative?” 

“We all told you. Like six times.” the three of them respond, rolling their eyes. 

Sasha and Connie unlink their arms from yours, turning their attention back to the game. The four of them interject once in a while, lost in their own conversations, but your head is still buzzing from the one that you had with them. 

Eren has a playlist. That he made for you. He spent hours probably - listening to each song, picking out the ones he liked. 

“Say. Did Eren ever mention us?” 

“Hm. Well, I knew about Mikasa - Armin and Eren have both mentioned her. And I’ve seen a picture of the two of you before, Eren has one in his wallet. But no Reiner, never mentioned you.” 

“We have his wallet.” 

Reiner taps Zeke on the shoulder and pockets the wallet from him. Sasha and Connie reach over, pulling out the dollar bills first - equally dividing the cash between the five of you and stuffing her share in her pocket - before returing it to Reiner, who pulls out both polaroids. 

This is when you realize your mistake. Because the polaroid of you kissing his cheek is still in his fucking wallet. You watch Reiner pull it out and hold it out in front of Connie and Sasha, the two of them shaking you in their arms as they all scream in your ears. 

“You guys are so cute! We fucking knew it. When did you start dating?” 

At the sound of that, you see Carla turn her head out of the corner of her eyes, slightly shuffling over to see what you two are talking about. And then your mistake gets even worse. Because then Carla runs over, kissing you twice on the cheeks again and literally bursting out of happiness at the news. 

“Oh, I’m so happy for you two. I knew something was going on. And I even told Eren, he better get a move on because a girl like you doesn’t stay single for long.” 

“You would be shocked, Mrs.Yeager.” 

She takes her hands into yours, squeezing twice again. Fucking Yeagers and their hand squeezing. It’s almost impossible not to like them. 

“Take care of our boy, okay?. He’s really sensitive and emotional, which I’m sure you know already but he means well. Really. And let him take care of you too. He’s told me that you’re a little bit more closed off at times, but he would never hurt you. He cares about you, so so much. It’s you two, on the same side, always.” 

And you can’t do it. You can’t tell her the truth because…she’s just so excited. So happy for the two of you. The way she’s holding your hands in hers, kissing your cheeks, doting over you. She’s so excited that it’s you. You don’t want to be the one to tell her that her son has no interest in you. 

So you don’t. 

“I will. Take care of him, I mean.” 

She smiles widely again, crushing you in your arms as he gives you another hug. 

Now you have to find Eren. And tell him that you just told your mom that the two of you are dating. 

-  

You find him at half-time, outside the locker room. He’s lying on the bench with two of his teammates, ice packs pressed to each of his foreheads. 

“Ren?” 

He immediately sits up at the sound of your voice, pulling the ice pack off his head as he stands up. He gestures towards the walkway, the two of you walking back down to the stadium. 

“Everything okay, kitty?” 

“Uh. I might have messed up.” 

He stops, turning to face you. 

“What did you do?” 

“Promise you won’t be mad, Ren?” 

“I could never be mad at you. You know that.” 

Right. Okay. Just tell him. That’s when you start rambling. 

“Well. I met your friends - they’re really nice. Connie and Sasha stole some of your money, though. And Reiner was basically telling me about how he gave you Irritable Bowel Syndrome with a peach smoothie he made you, which is weird because you call me peaches but they were insisting that you hate them. Right, so I told them that you keep a polaroid of them in your wallet - because it’s so cute and I would want to know if I was them -  and then they pulled your wallet out and the other polaroid was still in there. And then your mom saw and she was just being so…so sweet that I didn’t have the heart to tell her we weren’t really together.” 

He’s staring you down. Green eyes, forehead scrunched up, lips in a straight line. Stop paying attention to his fucking lips. 

“So. Let me get this straight. You told my mom that…we were dating?” 

“Yes.”

“That’s it?” 

“What? 

“I thought you killed someone or something. That’s not a big deal.” 

“How is that not a big deal? I just lied to your mother. And told her that we were dating.” 

“Yeah. I’d probably do the same thing if I was in your position. She probably gave you that whole lecture right, about how we need to take care of each other, how I’m all sensitive and emotional?” 

You’ve got to be kidding me. 

“Yeah. How’d you know? 

“She gave me the same one after she met you. Even I didn’t have the heart to tell her I wasn’t dating you. I just told her I liked you, that’s all.” 

“Oh. Okay. I was like freaking out about it.” 

He locks his fingers with yours, squeezing twice as the two of you continue to slowly walk. 

“It’s okay. I’ll deal with her. She just really likes you, that’s all. They all do.” 

“Okay. You sure it’s okay? You’re not secretly mad at me right?” 

He looks over, giving you a lopsided grin, the one that makes your heart skip a beat. 

“Really, kitty. I could never be mad at you. And I know you. There’s nothing nefarious going on up here.” 

He takes his fingers, tapping on your forehead. 

“How do you know? This could all be a part of my secret plot to be the new Mrs. Yeager.” 

“Bullshit.” 

You nudge into him, making him stumble to the side as you both make it to the front of the stadium. 

“And why’s that?” 

“Because. You wouldn’t need a secret plot if that’s what you wanted.” 

He taps the end of your nose before lifting the bar to run back on the field to finish the game, leaving you more confused than when you arrived here.

Stupid Galliard. He always gives terrible advice. 

- 

next chapter linked here

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