#good ideas!!!! good moments!!!!!!!! THE OVERALL CONSISTENT NARRATIVE IS NOT DOING SO HOT

[nyxofdemons]

four years for this show...

[mistressoftherant-blog]

TUA Finale

Spoilers below for the Umbrella Academy final and my not so positive opinion of it.

Why did anyone on the writers team think it was a good idea to have Lila and Five do that?!

I already didn't like Lila for the stunt she pulled with the kid, making Diego get attached to a boy he would never see again and then dropping the bombshell that she was pregnant. I was already a little mad that Five ruined Diego's breakout plan from the asylum, getting him stuck with a needle, put in a straitjacket and locked in a padded cell.

I never appreciated the fact that both of them call Diego dumb constantly (nor the fact that the show has dumbed him down significantly since season 1). The body shaming from Lila was also uncomfortable.

But this... this was a whole new level of awful. And because it was the end of the season and they were all dying, Diego just had to accept it and move on?? Like this was shoved in at the end for a bit of cheap drama.

Cheating is not the answer to feeling unhappy in marriage, especially not with your husband's brother. Especially not when you have three young kids. I really wish Lila could have just been a friend to them rather than in a relationship with any of them. It always bothered me how the writers basically erased Patch and then had Diego move on with Lila like what they had had was nothing, when her death was such a massive moment.

And it was despicable behaviour from Five, especially the way he acted towards Diego in his in-laws home (Or his own home, I wasn't quite clear on that). He's always been condescending and arrogant, and treated Diego in particular in a pretty shitty way, but I always accepted that he was a well-written character. This move destroyed that.

Plus, there is no getting around how weird it was age wise. Five is a man in his 60s mentally (actually, would he be in his 70s seeing as he said he was 62/3 in the beginning of the show and then they spend 7 years trapped?) and a teenager physically. It's creepy. Majorly creepy. Expecially as the writers basically threw this in because they decided everyone needed at least one love story. Which is not true. Platonic stories are just as important narrative wise, and in real life. Also odd vibes that Five's actor would have pretty much just turned 18 when they filmed all of that.

Also, did they just forget that Digeo has a stutter?? I thought for sure that he was going to stutter when confronting Lila and Five as that was a big emotional moment which tends to bring his stutter on or make it worse. But, nope, no stutter at all. (I also feel like Lila was quite patronising when Diego was stuttering last season, though that may just be me reading too much into it as I never liked her character.)

They also seemed to forget Lila's abilities. They made her stupid powerful, (and yes, call me petty, but it pissed me off that they introduced someone who could steal all of their powers and who was basically an extreme, overpowered, not like other girls character), but didn't keep it consistent. Why could she use Viktor's powers in the final fight, but no one else's? Couldn't she have just teleported them into the building instead of needing to dig the knife in deeper for Diego by saying how much she needed Five?

This season was a hot mess, and I have so many gripes with it. There were some good points, like Jean and Gene were fun antagonists, and the Diego and Luther brotherly relationship was great, but none of that can redeem just how awful it was overall.

[variousqueerthings]

SOOOooooo Time Of Angels/Flesh And Stone

these episodes are great set-pieces with a lot of fun twists and turns, such as the Angel coming out of the screen, and the gun from the trailer being used not in violence but to save them with the gravity, and the trees in the ship, good fun, good fun

of course it also completely obliterates a bunch of its own Angel concepts by showing them moving, and by undoing the idea that if they see each other, they are trapped forever

and then there is The Problem Of River Song. I really think I should listen to some of her audio dramas where she's not hanging out with the Doctor, because my goodness... anyway all in the Score!

a criteria will be rated 0-10, with 10 being best score:

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 5/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored): 7/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 7/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 7/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 6/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 7/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 6/10

isn't trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 2/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 7/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 7/10

FULL RATING: 61/100 (if I can count….)

I do think this is the first episode to showcase Karen Gillen's potential, and I think it's also the episode to show that she's not... quite as good as some previous leads on this show. she just doesn't emote very well. her fear in both the first episode when she sees the Angel to her terror when she's told there's an Angel in her eye is barely anything -- I don't know if this is Karen Gillen (who I thought did very well in M*rvel!) or a direction problem (my favourite Karen Gillen moment was early in the first episode, when she squeaked excitedly about going on the planet surface, which was very cute)

if I were prone to blaming everything on M*ffat, I'd say that he talked about how he cast Gillen because she was hot. so how does that map onto having Amy Pond be a rounded character? some actresses have risen above this kind of casting in the past, but it's an extra hurdle for sure, and one that I don't think Karen Gillen at this point could do much against, especially considering the episodes don't let the character properly have a feeling about being abandoned for 14 years (she will later on in the show, I remember, but right now nada)

on the flipside, the Doctor babbling for 30 seconds to land on "there's an Angel in her eye" and then grabbing his mouth in shock, is one of my favourite eleven moments generally!

OBJECTIFICATION: OKAY. okayokay. okay. like. Amy is wearing her third miniskirt of the season, because Amy wears them as a Choice (because she's not a character I guess, she has agency, it's nothing to do with Karen Gillen's legs), and River Song is introduced in heels and a sexy dress, because she's a sexually liberated woman, but actually one we get past that it's not so bad. River Song is actually wearing very practical clothes of the same shape and make as the army dudes

the real issue is going to come in the sexiness bracket, so it's hard to say where the objectification ends and the "sexiness" begins...

PLOT-POINT: Amy is all-emotion arguably, while River furthers a lot of plot, and gets some backstory. the frustrating thing is that Amy is still oddly... distant from her own history with the Doctor

he leaves her again, and then asks her to walk with her eyes closed through a forest of Angels. the Doctor tells her to shut up, yells at her, and she's very helpless and while this is technically compelling, Amy doesn't... have much of a reaction to it. to much of any of it. the music is doing the emotional heavy-lifting here more than the writing

BUT all in all, both Amy and River get some interesting stuff to read into!

COMPLEXITY: It’s a good plot, the crashed ship, the running, the forest full of angels, and I think it works because fundamentally it's not actually that complex at all. it's got a fair few set-pieces and plot points happening, so it's good that the central plot is essentially "get away from Angels before they catch us."

and it all comes back to the gravity of the ship several times, fun set-up and payoff

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: so technically there's a lot happening here -- the crack in the wall, the Angels, River Song, the Doctor putting Amy in a precarious situation...

I'm not sure that it all comes together completely, the weak point is... Amy and the Doctor, to me. and there's a lot of quite subjective feelings within that, especially related to casting and writing of their relationship. oh dear that ending.... and the "it's all about you" as a symptom of things to come

and of course the Angels are kind of... cool and then a bit eh (but not as much as they're going to be)

"The Pandorica opens" is mentioned again and it's kind of cool

knowing that River knows that Amy is her mother... I am not sure that this was established as plot yet or not or if Alex Kingston knew, but watching it that way is interesting (even if I'm not a fan of it)

"Time can be rewritten" I remember that from Ten...

COMPANIONS MATTER: Amy is kind of damseling. she damsels. that's her role. Damseling sometimes is not a crime, but anyway. she does what the Doctor says (as a symptom of writing to come)

and the "if I always told you the truth, I wouldn't need you to trust me," as a symptom of writing to come..... the Doctor used to trust Companions -- generally the power imbalance between the Doctor and Amy, where she has to blindly trust someone she barely knows who has abandoned her several times... unclear if this belongs in this bracket or the sexism plot-point one, but it certainly belongs somewhere, because it's not really a thing that I believe is done on purpose... it's because the Doctor is so Interesting, and Amy is right to hang onto his every word, even when the Doctor hasn't earned it

I note also the "oh she's good," thing which River says about Amy this time, and Churchill said in the last episode, and is another symptom. lot of symptoms in this episode

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: The Doctor says shut up a loooot in the second half of this one, and yells when frustrated, which I wasn't a fan of -- this isn't really "godlike" Doctor as such, but it very much is the "I'm so smart and you're so useless in this situation," Thing, which after Sherlock makes your eyes twitch...

but overall the Doctor is just a guy in a situation that they're trying to solve, same as everyone else

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: soooo it's a couple of smallish? things, but it's part of the River Song problem as a whole, which is that she knows so much more and is much better at things than everyone else, because she knows the Doctor and the future etcetc. and she's more important than all past companions and emotional connections the Doctor has had

so you've got these bits early on - River tells the Doctor how to steer the Tardis using the "blue stabilisers" which stabilise the Tardis. rather than what was established end s4, which was that the Tardis needs more than one pilot, it's just that the Doctor never... stabilises it

And then she lands the Tardis and it doesn't make the familiar sound, and she says, “it’s not supposed to make that noise, you leave the brakes on." sigh. fuck the beloved noise I guess, it's just a stupid thing that the Doctor could change at any time

“SEXINESS”: And Now! To the Crux!

HOW MANY ONE LINERS CAN YOU FIT INTO AN EPISODE??? I wrote this when watching the first 4 minutes:

Sexy shoes

Sexy lipstick

Hello sweetie

Sexy wink

Amy doing a sexy “it’s how you keep score”

Sexy speech pattern

Sexy innuendo

then I had the: “he thinks he’s so hot when he does that” and “ooh, you sonicked her"

and ends on a handcuffs joke

poor River Song, there's this moment when the Cleric has threatened to tell the Doctor about her Past, and then later she makes a joke, and the guy does and the way her face twists!! Kingston is a good actress!!

and then for Amy there is... the ending......

INTERNAL WORLD: it's not really too important for this episode, but it all works

POLITICS: also not so important for this one, but there's nothing egregious going on in it

One thing I've noted that I'm not sure where to put is that at this point in proceedings lives still tend to matter -- some people die in various episodes and it's a tragedy. I don't know if this is politics, or Godlike Doctor or Companions matter, but it's a good thing overall

FULL RATING: 61/100 (if I can count….)

I'm surprised this has a lower rating than the beast below, it's overall a stronger (double) episode. Perhaps it's that several pieces are coming together (for example Amy not having opinions on her relationship with the Doctor rankles more now than previously), perhaps it's that I'm harsher now than then

overall it has a fair few high rankings through being relatively inoffensive, with lower points being granted because of how River Song affects the structure of Doctor Who as a whole, and because I need Amy to feel some kinda way. and the longer it takes without that, the more it becomes obvious

the high notes of the episode are the plot itself and that Amy and River balance a certain amount of Doing Plot to Things Happening To Them

Amy kissing the Doctor at the end is so... I mean it leads into Vampires of Venice, but really Amy is so... aggressive. and intense. and does not take in any cues. and it doesn't help that I know the deleted scene after this is even moreso Like That

[constantviewings]

The TV Show Trials - Black Mirror

Black Mirror is a British anthology television series created by Charlie Brooker. Individual episodes explore a diversity of genres, but most are set in near-future dystopias with sci-fi technology.

Is this weeks late? Yes. Do I care? No. Is it even finished? Also, no; but I will update this as I watch what’s left. For this review I decided to switch it up a little bit, I’ve watched the majority of Black Mirror before so instead of just reviewing every episode; I’m ranking them from worst to best.

The Waldo Moment

A failed comedian who voices a popular cartoon bear named Waldo finds himself mixing in politics when TV executives want Waldo to run for office.

It’s very difficult to make audiences care about fictional, local bi-elections and this episode is definitive proof of that. This episode is a major let-down not only as a season finale but being in-between the powerhouses of White Bear and White Christmas. Overall, it’s just a bad episode...

The Entire History of You

In the near future, everyone has access to a memory implant that records everything they do, see and hear. You need never forget a face again - but is that always a good thing?

While the concept is solid, and provides the baseline of technology going forward, the episode itself is too slow to justify its 50 minute runtime. While the stakes feel high, I’m not invested enough in the relationship to feel bad at its demise. Also, I think Charlie Brookers takeaway is bullshit, he thinks it’s Liam’s fault for looking for information that will upset him and that Claire just has ‘secrets’ and ‘still loves him’… she cheated on him while they were trying to have a baby! She’s just as bad as he is.

Men Against Fire

Future soldiers Stripe and Raiman must protect frightened villagers from an infestation of vicious feral mutants.

While not boring, I don’t really care for action and war heavy narratives, the message redeems this episode a lot for me. The idea of war propaganda dehumanising the ‘enemy’ to make it easier to kill them or wish for their death is portrayed to its extreme here.

Be Right Back

After learning about a new service that lets people stay in touch with the deceased, a lonely, grieving Martha reconnects with her late lover.

Another slow episode, but this is better than The Entire History of You because it focuses solely on the relationship and the aftermath of Ash’s death. Hayley Atwell and Domhnall Gleeson absolutely kill it as Martha and Ash; but can we expect any less from them?

Arkangel

After nearly losing her daughter, a mother invests in a new technology that allows her to keep track of her.

I know this episode is pretty divisive and, while I don’t find it particularly entertaining, the concept and discussion that it prompts is worth having. Like, is the Arkangel moral, does some of the footage count as CP, if giving someone emergency contraception against their will a human rights violation? It’s just unfortunate that the discussion surrounding the episode is more entertaining than the episode itself.

Playtest

An American traveler short on cash signs up to test a revolutionary new gaming system, but soon can't tell where the hot game ends and reality begins.

I feel like my reviews are already getting bad, and we’re only six episodes deep… Anyway, this episode is pretty scary, so it does its job as the sole horror episode of the series.

Fifteen Million Merits

In a world where people's lives consist of riding exercise bikes to gain credits, Bing tries to help a woman get on to a singing competition show.

Okay, time to get a little controversial. I think this episode is good, but not great. Daniel Kaluuya is phenomenal, and you can really see how far he’s come while also retaining those trademarks of his performances; especially with his eyes. My problem mainly lies in that it’s only really entertaining in the last half; but I don’t know what I would cut to make it shorter…

Hated in the Nation

In near-future London, police detective Karin Parke, and her tech-savvy sidekick Blue, investigate a string of mysterious deaths with a sinister link to social media.

Once again, another good episode, it’s just too long. I think it’s done a massive disservice by simply being known as ‘the killer bee episode’ because it’s so much more than the bees; but not much more to impress me.

Hang the DJ

Paired up by a dating program that puts an expiration date on all relationships, Frank and Amy soon begin to question the system's logic.

This episode and the next one are pretty evenly matched, I just like this one slightly less. This is mostly because the episode lags in the middle compared to the beginning and end.

San Junipero

When Yorkie and Kelly visit San Junipero, a fun-loving beach town full of surf, sun and sex, their lives are changed.

It’s just a good episode… can you tell I’m getting sick of writing these reviews?

Nosedive

A woman desperate to boost her social media score hits the jackpot when she's invited to a swanky wedding, but the trip doesn't go as planned.

I think this episode is great, especially as the introduction to this ‘new’ phase of Black Mirror on Netflix. Bryce Dallas Howard knocks it out of the park and the concept is great; espacially because it isn’t too dissimilar to how we currently live.

Crocodile

An insurance agent investigates a minor traffic incident using a device that manifests peoples' memories, but one of her witnesses has something to hide.

This is just fucking grim, isn’t it? While this episode is insanely devistating, that’s one of the reasons I rank it so highly, especially because it isn’t afraid for it’s main character to just be an awful and selfish person with no redemption. It’s really great to see.

Black Museum

A woman enters the Black Museum, where the proprietor tells his stories relating to the artifacts.

Where this episode’s strength is in the way they tie each story to each other. It could come across as a slap-dash clip show to fill out the season but those connections in the form of Rolo Hayes takes it beyond into being a great episode.

USS Callister

Capt. Robert Daly presides over his crew with wisdom and courage. But a new recruit will soon discover nothing on this spaceship is what it seems.

I’m going to be completely honest and admit that I was dreading re-watching this episode as I didn’t like it the first time around; but I can confindently say my opinion has changed. It’s way funnier than I had remembered it and Cristin Milioti does a phenomenal job, a stand out scene being the one in the lake.

The National Anthem

Prime Minister Michael Callow faces a shocking dilemma when Princess Susannah, a much-loved member of the Royal Family, is kidnapped.

We all knew this was coming but I bet you weren’t expecting to see it in my top five, were you? I could go on for eons about how this (and the rest of my top five) perfectly encapsulate the soul of Black Mirror as commentary on technology, polotics, and interpersonal conflicts; but you don’t want to hear that, you want to hear my defence. I think this episode is the perfect episode to start the show with, it’s shocking and a bit gross but it hooks you so quickly that you can’t help but watch ‘til the end. And let’s be honest, it’s exactly how society would react to this situation...

White Bear

Victoria wakes up and cannot remember anything about her life. Everyone she encounters refuses to communicate with her, and they all seem to know something she doesn't. But what?

You don’t need me to tell you how good this episode is, the rest of the internet can do that for me...

White Christmas

Three interconnected tales of technology run amok during the Christmas season are told by two men at a remote outpost in a frozen wilderness.

This is another episode where the internet can tell you how great it is, so I want to focus on something different. Like The Entire History of You, I don’t agree with Brooker’s interpretation of the conflict, sure Joe doesn’t seem like the best guy but his partner cheated on him and had another man’s child while blocking him and refusing to work things out like an adult. And while he may be an unreliable narrator, when you don’t give me anything to hint at the reality, I’ve got no choice but to believe the narrator...

Shut Up and Dance

When withdrawn Kenny stumbles headlong into an online trap, he is quickly forced into an uneasy alliance with shifty Hector, both at the mercy of persons unknown.

I’m sure you saw this coming after seeing where I put The National Anthem... I love this episode and and the way it draws you in to care about Kenny until you start thinking ‘the video’s pretty bad, but surely it’s not wirth all this right?’ all the way up to dropping the bombshell on what he was actually doing. And, even on rewatch, that reveal still makes me unbeleivably nauseous.

[bigskydreaming]

Something else to keep in mind is the way things compound? Like for instance, I’ve seen a mini trend of fics lately focusing on the issue of Dick dropping out of college or not wanting to go, which for the record, I feel is another way of building up to the idea that he and Bruce have all these fights during this period that are two way streets instead of like....what canon actually was (reminder that in the canon that Dick actually dropped out he and Bruce actually were never really NOT on good terms, like there’s never been a big fight in the comics about this topic so.....incheresting).

But anyway, my point is its worth keeping in mind that how you frame something at one point in a narrative like.....ideally, you want it to mesh up and align with other things you’ve brought up throughout the narrative, and not accidentally contradict yourself narratively.

I mean, this is really the big gripe most Dick Grayson fans have with his fanon characterization overall:

The fact that it just doesn’t make sense.

In Jason-centric fics that are after his resurrection, how often is Jason utterly convinced that Dick can’t even wipe his ass without Bruce’s approval? And yet in Jason-centric fics that are before his death, how often is Jason thinking about how Dick and Bruce are constantly fighting and Bruce can’t seem to do anything without Dick objecting? Reconcile these two things. They make no sense.

Same thing with fics that talk about Dick being the emotional glue of the family, the one keeping a cool head to calm down everyone else when they’re all taking shots at each other.....until randomly he just pops off without warning because he’s just that hot-tempered. These things mesh, how?

Same thing with Dick being frequently referenced as idealized by the hero community......but every time he interacts with someone like Roy or Kori or other Titans he can’t seem to avoid pissing them off and creating epic grudges. Make it make sense.

Or how Dick disliked or didn’t care about Jason to the extent that he only references him as a cautionary tale because of one line in canon......but the whole damn story where he kills the Joker because of Jason doesn’t count.

Or how its not okay to blame Dick for his own rapes but both of his major breakups which are intrinsically linked to the actions of his rapists like....were clearly and objectively all his fault somehow.

Dick Grayson fans aren’t on board with most of fanon because you can’t sell people on a constantly conflicting characterization that makes no sense and has no internal consistency.....you can only cater to people who don’t NEED to be sold on that because they’ve already decided they’re down with hating a character or largely ignoring him.

And I think people have gotten so used to not thinking twice about contradictory takes on Dick Grayson that they unintentionally undermine their own fics by contradicting themselves without even realizing it.

Like its ridiculously common to come across fics that reference Dick being beloved and charming everyone at the society galas they all have to go to.....but these fics take pot shots at Dick’s name, fashion, mannerisms etc all throughout it just because the author likes it or fans expect it or whatever reason.

But actually THINK about it:

Think how snobby the socialites at these galas are characterized as being any time its Jason their noses are turned down at.....and then look at like.....the constant jokes you as the author make YOURSELF at Dick’s very name, fashion and circus origins......how on Earth does it make ANY sense that these same people aren’t doing the same damn thing about Dick? That they’re actually any more fond of him than they are Jason, if no matter how charming he might be in the moment, the second he turns around its just as easy and likely for them to make a joke about his circus background or name as it is for writers and readers? If you can’t resist doing it, you really think snobby one percenters would bother in-universe?

Hell, they’d be more likely to hate him BECAUSE of his name, his fashion, etc.....because think of how often people not so subtly infer that he’s making a bad choice when he refuses to go by a different name, or dress more accordingly to normal fashions, etc.....

Dick has a million ways he could more easily fit in with the society he was brought into and ease his passage through it, but he puts his foot down at practically every opportunity. The idea that everybody is just dazzled by him at these galas makes no sense because the most consistent character choice made by Dick throughout the decades is that he refuses to CONFORM to others’ expectations of what he should be like. 

EVERY SINGLE CHOICE he makes from his name to his wardrobe to his costumes to his education to his city to his living arrangements and on and on is in complete and utter DEFIANCE of what people expect of the eldest son or ward of Bruce Wayne, Prince of Gotham, and that’s by Dick’s conscious and consistent choice. He knows damn well how to be more what people want or expect of him, and that’s not what he wants so he says mmmm but also how bout no.

Dick constantly embodies the idea that you can take the boy out of the circus but you can not and will not take the circus out of the boy no matter what environment you place him in or who you surround him with. He will not allow it. He will not play along.

In what universe is that going to endear him to the very people who would most likely view his choice to prioritize the very things they look down upon as something he consciously PREFERS over their projected expectations or assumptions?

Its not.

Personally, I think Gotham high society despises Dick Grayson no matter what they pretend to his face, and he’s perfectly aware of it. And probably gets some kind of trollish glee out of it because fuck them too, anyway.

(And all of that is WITHOUT even taking into account the fact that a good number of the people at these society galas all along were looking at Dick as their future property, given that they were Owl members who knew all along what they intended for their Gray Son. These people simply do not view and treat Dick as an equal. Its impossible. There’s no way).

Or then back to the idea of Bruce and Dick’s fights in his later teenage years being a two way street....

The core problem at the root of all this is the very idea of a two way street implies a certain give and take. A clashing of equals.

And that’s just not the reality in ANY continuity.

Because the question is, in any given fight between Dick and Bruce in ANY canon....

When does Dick ever WIN these fights?

When does Dick get the outcome he wants OVER what Bruce wants? When does Bruce ever cave? When is it NOT Dick leaving the manor without getting what he came for, or even being kicked out? When has Dick ever been able to say no, I’m NOT fired, or no, I’m NOT giving you control over what happens with Robin. Even when he DOES confront Bruce on these matters, Bruce STILL infamously never caves. He never actually apologizes or admits wrongdoing, he still usually tells Dick to leave. Like I said, basically the only time Dick’s ever got the upper hand in an argument was over the college thing and that time it wasn’t even a fight! Bruce didn’t actually care that much! That was the good timeline! LOL.

But there’s never actually a reversal. There’s no real precedent for Bruce caving to a teenage Dick Grayson and saying hey you know what, you’re right here, I’m overstepping or I’m in the wrong or I’m the one who doesn’t know what he’s talking about because our divergent life experiences here have mine as less relevant to the issue in question than yours do?

It doesn’t happen.

And here’s the problem with that:

Dick’s a literal genius. Every member of the Batfam is. Its how they’re able to do what they do. They’re ALL smart as fuck, capable as fuck. Put any of them in any other situation where they’re the only Bat present, and everyone usually defaults to them. They know what to do, they know what call to make, their approach is borne out by the narrative as being the correct approach. Their intelligence and strategy is validated by the narrative, with Dick being no exception here. In fact he’s particularly NOTED within canon narratives for being the guy everyone in the DC universe trusts to lead them.

Now.....imagine being this guy, who while although still a teenager, is in his late teens, and has YEARS of leading his own team under his belt. Years of being responsible for the lives of teammates and civilians. Years of becoming aware of and comfortable with his own natural brilliance. Years of becoming confident in being capable of making the right call when the situation demands it. Years of learning to TRUST in his ability to make the right call, to know the right approach, because not only are people relying on him to make those calls, he needs to be able to trust he can make them in order to have the confidence to follow through and DO so instead of being frozen with indecision or trying to pass the decision off to someone else, which he NEVER does?

With all that....and even with all due respect to Bruce’s own genius and experience....

What are the chances that in all the times that Bruce and Dick clash in his late teenage years....

Dick is NEVER right?

And yet.....when in any of these conflicts.....is he ever validated in that, versus shut down by Bruce who insists his way is still right?

Imagine being an acknowledged genius with years of experience and responsibility under your belt, but NEVER getting to be right in any arguments with your father, even when just based off pure freaking statistics, its frankly impossible for you to be 100% wrong EVERY SINGLE TIME?

Do you see where the two way street thing starts to fall apart? How can it truly be a two way street if part of the reason the two of them so often end UP aggressively opposed to each other during this time period.....is because of how many times previous encounters have only ended ONE way no matter WHAT?

It makes sense for Dick and Bruce not to clash as much during their younger years, because even the most stubborn kids do understand on a fundamental level that they have things to learn from more experienced adults. And Dick has never been someone mindlessly predisposed towards conflict. He didn’t become an exceptional acrobat by the age of eight by butting heads with his parents every time they tried to teach him, he couldn’t have. He KNOWS how to listen, he KNOWS how to acknowledge when someone else is right. 

But as he grows older, when he has more and more experience under his belt, more and more confidence in his own insights in large parts thanks to Bruce’s own efforts in buttressing his confidence in his younger years.....what happens when the balance of who is right and who is wrong in their arguments NEVER EVER starts to shift in his direction even a little bit, no matter HOW much more experienced he seems to get....and what happens when communicating this problem, this imbalance, to the person that really matters here, Bruce himself....still inherently requires Bruce accepting blame and acknowledging even just in THIS case, the idea that he’s not always right at this point and Dick has insights that can challenge his?

Of course there’s going to be more and more conflict....but can you truly argue that its a two way street, even just based off THIS? Is the teenage son truly to blame for being frustrated that he’s not allowed to ever be right, because the thing getting in his way is his father never ever being willing to back down or cave or not have the last word?

This is the sort of inherent contradiction I think lies at the heart of a lot of conflicting viewpoints here. It doesn’t matter how much lip service is being paid to the idea that Dick is intelligent, that Dick is respected, if all your content continually bears out the idea that actually no he’s not, because Bruce is always right, Dick never is in the right in arguments or conflicts.

The latter evidence just is not aligning with the former claims, and thus readers are innately forced to make a choice as to which to believe.....and more likely than not, they’re going to err on the side of substantiating whichever stance actually has more narrative support behind it, in any particular story.

See what I’m saying?

You need to make sure your story is ACTUALLY saying what you think you’re saying or you intended to say....or you end up undermining your own intentions.

Anyway. Just throwing that out there. 

[inspector-montoya-fox]

let’s talk about why Justine Courtney is a badly written character

it’s been a hot minute since i’ve finished Investigations 2 but i can confidently say it’s very much one of the best Ace Attorney titles, perhaps even as good as Trials & Tribulations. but, that doesn’t mean it didn’t have its flaws, and i think, as much as i love her, Courtney was one them. loads of stuff didn’t really make sense, and her story arc as some sort of antihero didn’t quite gel. let’s dive into specifics (spoilers ahead):

i wanna start off by saying that this character genuinely holds a special place in my heart. if you follow me and my friend’s podcast, Turnabout Podcast, you might know that Investigations 2 was the first game i played without my friend giving me any previews or opinions because it’s the only game in the series that i played first. as such, when Courtney was first introduced, she made an impact by being a female judge sans the restraint of the court. you mean to tell me the judges in the Ace Attorney universe have... a waist, legs and feet !? when i tell you i thought this character was amazing, i mean it. easily one of the best things about my playthrough, something that surely wouldn’t change ever. but before i get into the bad writing, i wanna say that honestly, Courtney has some pretty nice moments in the game.

i think, first and foremost, diversity. like we can clearly see that the traditional Judge borrows heavily from what we all imagine a stereotypical judge would look like. bushy beard, black robes, bald (?). the only thing missing would be an over-the-top white wig with the curls. so, enter Courtney, this woman wearing her pink garment with some astral/cross details, braids in a circle with a thunder-esque fringe in the front, and holding a mini gavel to smash your skull in with. her attire and overall character design successfully portrays a woman who places her faith on the justice system above all else - and that’s a major aspect of her character. honey, she’s serving Florence + the Machine Ceremonials, divine eleganza. this is a prude above all else, and a firm believer that the justice system will prevail in the end, always and forever.

so, with this all in mind, you’d think we’d get a character who’s shtick is ‘blind faith’, etc. i mean, i love Ace Attorney but i have to admit most characters are pretty one-dimensional: Lisa Basil is a computer, Olga Orly is a reveal queen, Phineas Filch is a thief, and so on and so forth. it was a pretty big surprise when Courtney failed to maintain her single trait. the woman clearly doesn’t have a personality or a life outside her job; and even that would make for more interesting character development than what we got. instead, she starts off as an annoying foil to Edgeworth’s plans with some crazy-ass antics, and then proceeds to be excruciatingly irritating just because... she can ???? i feel like the writers had no idea what to do with her so they merged all their half-baked ideas together to form someone with enough systematic power to go against Edgeworth once he effortlessly put Sebastian Debeste in his place. lemme change the paragraph because i’m about to pop off.

Justine Courtney is like... 26 different people. she’s a mother, a judge, an investigator, a babysitter and a pain in the ass all at once. lil mama multi-faceted. the shift in tone doesn’t make sense and isn’t supported by anything in the narrative whatsoever. ok, she was basically playing lapdog to Sebastian in order to get closer to Blaise, i guess. but, why introduce her as someone who’s an avid justice system aficionado and supporter and not drive it all the way home or make it consistent throughout? that’s her entire thing in the Imprisoned Turnabout, talking about the Goddess of the Law and her motivations, but then in the Inherited Turnabout, she barely mentions any of it. instead of maintaining her black-and-white view of the law in order to develop it and make her come to a realisation that it’s not always like this, the writers tried shoving in other stuff like her playing secret agent trying to bust Blaise, or her being a mom.

the storyline at the end where she has a change of heart is completely and utterly unsupported by anything. why help Edgeworth when you’re the one who is to blame for everything !? you’re the reason he’s locked up !? again, if they had just stuck to one tone/ story arc/ theme, it would all make sense. black-and-white view Courtney would realise that Edgeworth is clearly a grey anomaly; mom Courtney would feel something for Sebastian because of her love for John; film noir Courtney would be a double-faced minx who reveals to Edgeworth why she was so eager to antagonise him. but when you put all of these together, it becomes such a convoluted mess that sees none of these aspects fully develop. most of these “character traits” also clash with each other at times, like how she helps Sebastian, an amateur prosecutor, put away people who are most likely innocent (apart from Simon Keyes) despite her undying trust and devotion in the law, or maybe even how her strong motherly instinct would probably prevent her from using Sebastian in order to get closer to Blaise and then ignore the kid’s meltdown in the final case.

and don’t get me started on the teen pregnancy thing. you had to know a secret or a reveal was coming, but that took me out of an otherwise outstanding case just because the Ace Attorney writers refuse to acknowledge that they have an issue with women and their ages. it was a horrifyingly disgusting experience for me doing the math during the Grand Turnabout and then, until it was revealed that John is actually her nephew, i couldn’t think of anything else. looking past how much of a horrible decision it was and how the writers don’t know how to properly give accurate ages to their female characters, it further took away from Courtney’s flawed character. you can’t just give this woman 209131 different storylines, neglect to develop them because she’s kept in the sidelines, and then place her in the forefront of the final major case. that’s not how it works? because when John was abducted, putting my hate for children aside, i genuinely didn’t really care about him. although, i have to admit, the mother-son moments were pretty sweet, and we often praise this on the podcast as well - i truly believe Courtney is an amazing mom, who wants nothing than the best for John. either way, the work wasn’t put in and as such i didn’t really care for a character who failed to gain my devotion and emotional attachment.

when you compare Courtney to other main female characters such as Franziska or Mia, the difference is undeniable. even when we compare her to the Judge, it’s clear that she fails to make an impression on the player because her traits are not consistent. ‘she lacked substance’ would be the TLDR version. if you want more Justine Courtney criticism, @ironicsnap​ quite literally pops off here and we discuss the age thing in detail. but to conclude, i think we should have gotten one version of Courtney. my favourites from the bunch would have to be “film noir” investigator Courtney or the “blind faith” one because i think that would make for interesting character development above all else. i would love to see Courtney be the prosecution’s pawn and then realise that and actually switch sides. if this was the case then she could return in later installments and interact with characters such as Kristoph Gavin, who have similar story-arcs.

[impalementation]

what played differently positively and negatively on your buffy rewatch?

putting under a cut because this got long! disclaimer: this is all just my personal opinions and reactions, nothing objective or definitive. also when i talk about how i reacted “as a teenager” i mean from ages 13-16 rather than more mature teenage years. i did revisit the show briefly around 18, but don’t remember what i thought. so i’m comparing how i watched it at ~15 to how i watched it at 27, basically.

negative:

- a lot of trouble connecting to the more high school elements of the show. i just grew out of caring about teenagers, unfortunately. so i got impatient with a lot of seasons one and three, and some parts of two. which was really a shame, since i used to pretty unreservedly adore those seasons.

- in that vein, a lot of trouble connecting to buffy/angel. partly because adult men are no longer as opaque to me as they are to buffy, and so although i respect what the writing was going for by objectifying angel, it was still frustrating to feel like i wasn’t given much to go on as far as understanding his character motivation or why he and buffy were drawn to each other. boreanaz’s acting also got in the way of my enjoyment, unfortunately. i have nothing against the pairing, as a pairing, and i like a lot of the writing around it, but it lost the ability to give me any of the feelings it gave me as a teenager. i was sad about this!

- having seen a lot more movies and tv shows by now, buffy’s often ungainly execution was difficult to ignore. there are a lot of jokes that just strike me as clunky and unfunny, pacing i thought was slow, character writing i thought was dumb, etc.

- all the parts that haven’t aged well from a political perspective (some of which people complained about at the time too, of course). the weird attention given to xander’s self-deprecating possessiveness, terrible jokes like the one about the first slayer’s hair in restless, baffling moments of sexism, an often facile approach to gender politics, etc.

positive:

- i wasn’t a dumb teenager, but i wasn’t sophisticated either. i didn’t have the analytical toolkit that i have now. so the biggest positive change was being hit over the head with the realization of how intricately and elegantly thematic the show could really be. the feeling of “oh shit, they were doing things.” when i got to the end of season six and saw buffy crawling out of that grave a second time i was just on the floor like “fuck you buffy the vampire slayer and the symbolism you rode in on.” overall i gained a lot of respect for it as tv with literary tendencies. as messy as the show could be, and as superficially “pop” as it was (as in, it wasn’t a prestige-y hbo show), it’s one of the few tv shows i’ve seen that is clearly and consistently “about” something, both from season to season and over the course of the whole show. one of the few good comparisons i have is the wire, which is consistently about institutional decay and how systems fail people, and then explores that idea from season to season by looking at different failing systems (crime, labor, reform, education, media, etc). similarly, buffy is (among other things) about the trials of growing up, and growing into a person that has agency and ownership of themselves. and each season explores that subject in new ways by putting buffy into new situations that challenge her to be mature in a way she hasn’t been before. the wire achieves literary coherence in a much more controlled, focused, and overall skillful way. but people know that the wire is Serious Art. buffy fascinates me in that it has similar aspirations while also being goofy, stupid, messy, unabashed genre entertainment. unabashed television, at that.

- in general, i also felt like i had a deeper understanding of a lot of the storylines. i’d always liked seasons six and seven, even when i felt like i wasn’t “supposed” to (and hey that was another nice thing about watching it as an adult. i no longer had a need to care about whether i was supposed to like something or not, because i felt confident in my own ability to assess that.), but i didn’t quite get them on that emotional level. this time though, i felt like i completely understood the experience that the writers were trying to convey. buffy’s struggle with mortality in season five, depression in season six, and isolation in season seven, all hit me unbelievably hard. even the college experience stuff in season four had new, added layers.

- in a weirdly equivalent-but-also-opposite situation to buffy/angel, my life experience colored how i received the whole buffy/spike storyline. on the one hand, i was newly able to properly appreciate that their season six story was a story about a toxic and self-destructive relationship. as a teenager i found it hot and engaging, but also sort of baffling; i couldn’t tell what the writers were going for. because i was so used to a sex = romance paradigm in tv, instead of the sex-as-character-writing that you see in more sophisticated media. similarly, i was finally able to understand the more disturbing sides of spike’s character, instead of just finding him funny and entertaining. yet instead of that understanding making the dynamic, or spike as a character, less interesting to me, it actually finally gave me an emotional “in” with it. it made things compellingly complicated instead of just confusing. i couldn’t be moved by it before, because i didn’t understand the emotional conflicts at play. whereas watching it with life experience that echoed it, a lot of it felt like being suckerpunched, in a good way.

- for whatever reason, i also found myself really enjoying the willow/tara dynamic. i was pretty dismissive of it as a teenager. i thought tara was dull, and resented the feeling from friends that i was supposed to like it just because it was gay. but i found them (and tara) very sweet this time around, in a pleasantly subtle way, and with more understanding of my own queerness, i appreciated things like how implicit their courtship in season four had to be, or their easy domesticity. and it meant that when their relationship fell apart in season six it genuinely made me sad instead of just “well alright.” and i really like it when stories affect me, whether or not the way it’s affecting me is a happy emotion.

- my love for buffy as a character like...quintupled. i’d always loved her but, as i’ve said, my enjoyment of the show was on the superficial side. i think i used to basically take her at face value, and accept everything she goes through as “well, that’s just what happens to protagonists of tv shows.” also, since i’d never related to the sorts of coming of age narratives typical of high school shows (popularity! boyfriends! virginity! cheerleaders! prom!), and i hadn’t experienced any of the things the show explores past season three, it was difficult to feel like buffy as a character was speaking to my own struggles in growing up. but now that i wasn’t expecting to relate to her, it was easier to see her face everything and go “man, you brave, amazing girl.” i felt like i could finally really appreciate her as a character, which made all the times that i did end up relating to her feel richer too.

- all the parts that have aged well. there have been great female protagonists since buffy (and great female protagonists before her), but few great female heroes. and buffy is kind of incredible for being both. i’ve said this before, but one of the great things about her as a character is that on the one hand, she’s able to participate in a hero narrative that is normally only the province of male characters, and be a source of admiration or inspiration that isn’t about gender. but on the other hand, she’s also allowed to be human...sometimes to people’s dismay, especially in the later seasons. and that duality, particularly in a female character, is deeply, deeply rare. buffy summers is just an utterly remarkable character, and consuming more media only made that more obvious to me. aside from buffy, i think many of the show’s more experimental choices have aged quite well, whether the format breaking episodes in season four, or the postmodernism of season six, or buffy’s mourning and depression in seasons five and six. i also really appreciated the show’s themes around forgiveness, atonement, responsibility, and agency, and found myself wishing that more contemporary things had them.

[popwasabi]

Lockdown Lookback: Catching up on the past months’ Pop Culture

Aaaaannnd we’re back!

It’s amazing what a little pandemic can do to shake you out of your creative cobwebs but if we’re all going to die, I want to make sure all my pop cultural hot takes are up to date at least.

Many of us are already on lockdown and many major movies including “007,” “Black Widow” and ummm I guess “Mulan” are all getting pushed to the backburner as no one is leaving their God damn homes unless they’re told to!

(Didn’t realize the thing I wish I had more of in the apocalypse would be sweatpants...)

But there’s still plenty to talk about from the previous months and other hot topics I have been meaning to write about but just hadn’t found the time or energy for. Life has been hard I think for just about all of us these days thanks in no small part to this pandemic. For me personally, I’ve had two different vacations canceled because of the virus and currently working understaffed at my job which is considered essential. Not to mention my therapist is on call only at this time and both my martial arts schools have been suspended, so I can neither talk nor punch my feelings out of my system.

So, I might be just a LITTLE on edge at the moment.

(My internal monologue for most of these past few weeks, more broadly years...)

Anyways, I digress, you come here because you like to read my highly unprofessional takes on pop culture and genuinely to those who have cheered me on from the beginning thanks, you guys are my prime motivators. But anyways let’s talk about all the shit I was supposed to write about these last two and a half months.

 “Birds of Prey” was a hot, but needed, mess

Earlier last month I got to see the sort of sequel to the much-maligned “Suicide Squad” in “Birds of Prey and the…waaaay too long of a title for me write here.” I had cautious optimism for it because it looked strange and off the beaten path of most comic book movies and seemed to promise at the very least a fun time at the theater but it’s still also a DCEU movie so the floor was pretty low on its possible quality as well.

In the end, the movie is kind of bit of everything; the best and worst parts of the DCEU. 

In terms of the good, it’s definitely outside the box, a sort of fem Deadpool first person story as told frenetically by Harley herself. Margot Robbie is, of course, still quite great at this role and you can tell she’s having a blast as this character. The humor is mostly good and visually the bright colors and cinematography pops on each screen and on that front there isn’t much to complain about.

But as a DCEU movie it does suffer from some narrative imbalance partially due to it’s psycho storyteller but mostly, and more than likely, due to corporate editing that probably axed an entire dance number that I was honestly looking forward to from the trailers.

(Seriously, I actually wanted to see the full unedited version of whatever hell this ended up being.)

It’s definitely in the “could’ve been better” camp of comic book movies but you know what? I’m still glad it exists. You know why? Because comic book movies dominate our blockbuster culture right now and if the genre wants to survive, at least artistically, it needs some outside the box films like this. I HATED “Joker” but I appreciate that it opened the door for stranger, more unique takes on a genre that is getting increasingly more stale. This movie falls into that unique category too.

(Also, to all the faux-intellectuals and alt-right nerds making a culture war out of “Sonic” vs “Birds of Prey” *kindly* reevaluate your lives please...)

We’re at the point now where comic book movies should be getting weirder, not more formulaic, and that means swinging for the fences even if a couple don’t quite make it out of the ballpark. If it takes a few not so stellar takes on the genre for Hollywood to greenlight a truly fantastic one I’m all for it.

In any case “Birds of Prey” doesn’t quite end nor continue the DCEU’s recent hot streak but it is enjoyable enough to where I would be more than open to a sequel. It’s worth a watch.

 The Mandalorian and The Witcher: Two shows about violent mercenaries and fatherhood

Both these shows are old news at this point, but I did want to talk a little about both for a bit if you would have me.

First, “The Mandalorian” which was Disney+’s flagship production to begin its streaming chapter late last year is definitely a more than welcome addition to the galaxy far, far away. It’s pretty easy to feel fairly jaded about Star Wars these days given how flat the new trilogy ended but for what it’s worth “The Mandalorian” was a good mix of nostalgia bait and something new and interesting for fans to chew on. Its production value is obviously top-notch, no doubt because of all the Disney money pumped into it, it’s well-acted and thrilling and fun from start to finish. It plays heavily on the genres that influenced the series, primarily westerns and old samurai flicks, and fans of those will certainly enjoy the homages to them all.

The series was something of a coming out party for Deborah Chow who directed two of the season 1’s best episodes. Her steady hand, eye for details and tributes to Asian cinema throughout really gave the series an extra kick at times and showed how Star Wars can evolve still. Chow is set to helm the upcoming “Kenobi” series and one can only hope that she *really* leans into the samurai genre for that show.

(Hopefully, there are some “Yojimbo” vibes in there somewhere...)

The Mandalorian’s best and worst parts though are its semi episodic nature making each episode easy to digest as a one-off but also lacking some narrative tension between each. It plays kind of like a Saturday Morning cartoon to both its benefit and detriment with bite-size easy to digest plots and dialogue for the viewers but not offering a ton of depth beyond that.

The Mandalorian himself is also kind of a Gary Stu. His armor is basically impenetrable and far and away the best killer onscreen typically, making more than a few action scenes lack real stakes and tension. Baby Yoda certainly helps at times to make him more vulnerable and puts him in precarious positions plenty of times but outside a few moments (mainly episode 2 and to a lesser extend the final episode) he’s just a little too overpowered to be a more interesting character.

But this show and frankly the Star Wars series as a whole is meant for kids, no matter what the neckbeards try to tell you (violence =/= adult), and that’s not necessarily a bad thing either. Plenty of kids productions can be both great and even sophisticated and while I wouldn’t say “The Mandalorian” is either of those it’s a good and fun kids show for the fans.

(And yes I’m aware that the books, some comics, and games have touched on more adult stuff, you weirdos. But how would you describe the overall tone and presumptive audience of the movies and TV series as a whole, guys??)

As far as “The Witcher” goes it also has a bit of an episodic style to it as well with an overarching, albeit, convoluted story that runs parallel to it. The first 3-4ish episodes can be classified as a quasi “Game of Thrones” clone leaning perhaps a little too heavily into the tropes of that series. Once the series finally starts leaning into its real identity, a dry-witted hack and slash fantasy, the series is much more consistent both tonally and narratively.

Henry Cavil is solid as Geralt of Rivia and the supporting cast of Joey Batey as Jaskier, Freya Allen as Ciri and even more so Anya Chalotra as Yennefer are all great in their respective roles delivering some great moments throughout the season.

(And lest you forget this earworm...)

“The Witcher’s” early season struggles keep it from being as tonally or narratively consistent as “The Mandalorian” but where the monster slayer beats the bounty hunter is that it has overall more compelling drama and has more to say, leaning much more heavily into the thematic greys of the plot. There are tons of problems with “The Witcher” on a story-telling level but you can definitely say it cares more about adding some depth in between the more pulpy aspects of the story which is something you can’t say as much for in “The Mandalorian.”

Of course, I’m partially overselling “The Witcher” a bit here, it’s not anywhere near “Game of Thrones” best (yet at least), and on the flipside one could argue that “The Mandalorian’s” more subtle sense of story-telling does its themes better. But when it comes down to these two shows you get somewhat similar story-telling ideas, mostly involving both characters and their smaller counterparts, in two very different genres with equally diverging conclusions to their respective seasons. 

(🎵 Toss an “Oof” to your Witcher...🎵)

All in all, they’re both good and worth a watch and I think they deserve a chance to evolve and hopefully showcase more of what they have to offer moving forward.

“Parasite” wins Best Picture! Many people have some hot takes, including the president...

Last month one of my favorite films of 2019 “Parasite” won Best Picture at the Oscars. It’s a movie that is becoming increasingly relevant as elites and celebrities alike are getting front of the line testing despite being asymptomatic in the middle of pandemic and think they can assuage our concerns and dread by poorly singing “Imagine” together within the comfort of their McMansions.

It’s about as a good time as any to revisit this movie, I mean where else are you going to go during this timeline, and at a later date I’ll write something more extensive about it eventually (hopefully) but first here’s a helpful video on one particular thing that came out after director Bong Joon Ho took home the night’s top honors:

 “Cats” is still a fever dream of madness

Back in late December, I watched “Cats” for science, as I had AMC A-List and a friend crazy enough to join me. I figured it would be bonkers and unlike anything I had seen before in the worst way but even then, I don’t think I was truly prepared for what I ended up seeing that fateful night.

I remember quite vividly going to the bar inside the theater and ordering a stiff drink beforehand to numb the pain and the bartender asking “So what are y’all watching tonight?” and beginning to laugh manically like an insane asylum patient at the innocuousness of the question. Walking into the theater was like that feeling you get before getting on a particularly scary-looking rollercoaster at Six Flags but instead of the pre-ride jitters eventually subsiding to the eventual fun and joy of the ride, only a deep sense of existential dread built up and sustained itself through what felt like six hours of the most baffling thing put to screen in front of my eyes ever.

(The music that played in my head as I exited the theater...)

Have any of you watched the Stanley Kubrick movie “Eyes Wide Shut” before? You know the scene when Tom Cruise is walking around in his mask observing the strange occult sex orgy going on around him at the mansion? That’s kind of what “Cats” felt like except way more terrifying, somehow MORE sexual, and definitely crazier.

(Is...this some type of...intepretative dance to summon an eldritch horror??)

There’s a voyeuristic terror that comes from sitting in that theater room as you watch bipedal humanoid looking felines dance to confusing songs about “Jelicle” cats (whatever the fuck that means) and all other manner of things that should NOT take human form throughout it’s near-endless runtime. A lot was made about Rebel Wilson and the disgusting roach people she consumes but NO ONE warned me about the frankly HORRIFYING mice children in the same scene!

(I am not perusing the internet to find that image again for y’all. I have enough nightmares each night...)

The saddest thing about the whole movie is everyone, save for Ian Mckellen who seemed to be acting as if a gun was pointing at him offscreen and Judi Dench who looked 100 percent like a geriatric in her digi fur, was giving the movie their fullest effort in what can only be described as a Titanic-sized level of hubris by all parties involved. This movie really needed a “Chaostician” involved in evaluating the production for studio heads and shareholders because there were definitely NOT enough people on this project wondering whether or not this film SHOULD exist...

(Dr. Ian Malcolm coming to Universal Pictures to access the film.)

What has “Cats” wrought upon this world? The universe has been clearly out of balance since this movie came out and while I’m not saying it’s director Tom Hooper’s fault, I’m not saying it isn’t either.

“Cats” is one of those things, much like The Matrix that cannot be simply described but must be seen to believe. It’s one of the worst things I have ever seen onscreen but with the right group of people and a few stiff drinks it’s certainly an experience you won’t forget. Consider it for your next Google Hangout during this apocalypse.

  Anyways, that about wraps up my thoughts on the last few months. Going to try to be more consistent going forward especially given how much more time I have now to write, for better and worse. But more importantly, just want to say stay safe y’all. It’s going to be a process to get through this and while things are more likely to get worse before they get better there will be a day when this all ends and some normalcy may yet return to our life but in order for us to get there we need to remain vigilant. 

So stay at home, wash your hands, and if you want to watch movies just order it online for now and we’ll just wait until aaaallll this blows over…hopefully.

Don’t panic...

[mediaeval-muse]

Book Review

Cruel Beauty by Rosamund Hodge. Balzer and Bray. 2014.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Genre: YA fantasy

Part of a Series? Yes. Fairy Tales #1 of 3 (so far). But it doesn’t seem like the series is one narrative.

Summary: Since birth, Nyx has been betrothed to the evil ruler of her kingdom-all because of a foolish bargain struck by her father. And since birth, she has been in training to kill him. With no choice but to fulfill her duty, Nyx resents her family for never trying to save her and hates herself for wanting to escape her fate. Still, on her seventeenth birthday, Nyx abandons everything she's ever known to marry the all-powerful, immortal Ignifex. Her plan? Seduce him, destroy his enchanted castle, and break the nine-hundred-year-old curse he put on her people. But Ignifex is not at all what Nyx expected. The strangely charming lord beguiles her, and his castle—a shifting maze of magical rooms—enthralls her. As Nyx searches for a way to free her homeland by uncovering Ignifex's secrets, she finds herself unwillingly drawn to him. Even if she could bring herself to love her sworn enemy, how can she refuse her duty to kill him? With time running out, Nyx must decide what is more important: the future of her kingdom, or the man she was never supposed to love.

***Full review under the cut.***

Trigger Warnings: forced marriage, child neglect, violence, madness; allusions to: tyranny, rape, murder

Overview: To be honest, this book came somewhat of a surprise to me. I wouldn’t have picked it up if a friend hadn’t recommended it, since the summary makes it look like a run-of-the-mill YA fantasy. In some ways, it does make use of tropes that are somewhat cliche by now; however, I think it also deals with ideas that are more interesting than the summary or many of the reviews give it credit for. Though there were some things that irritated me, such as the main character’s inner voice, the worldbuilding intrigued me enough to want to keep reading, and the focus on allowing the main character to embrace her anger was refreshing. Overall, I do think it made use of interesting ideas and had potential to be so much more, which is why I’m rating it 3 stars.

Writing: This book uses a first person point of view, which isn’t my cup of tea. Personal preference aside, I think Hodge did a good job balancing descriptions of her fantasy world and the main character’s inner voice, inserting some nice imagery here and there that really made for some vivid scenery and dark fantasy mood. Sometimes, the prose could border on the dramatic, especially when describing the main character’s inner thoughts or emotions, but it worked out well and fit with the overall mood and circumstances of the narrative.

Plot: This book is a "Beauty and the Beast” retelling that mainly follows Nyx, a 17 year old girl who has been betrothed to a demon lord named Ignifex in the hopes that she can destroy him and thus free her kingdom from his tyranny. It’s pretty straight-forward. I wasn’t very enthralled by this plotline, especially since the buildup consisted of exploring a house and Nyx kind of just reacting to what she found. I wish a little more purpose had gone into the rooms, so that they fit together to explore Nyx’s psyche or comment upon the major themes of the book - anger and hatred as part of a person, the role of duty, or the connection to one’s family.

I did, however, like the ending and thought it was quite clever. Without spoiling anything, I will say that it was a neat exploration of the darkness within a person, and I think the setup could have really brought out this consideration of human nature.

Characters: The main characters in this book include Nyx, Ignifex, and a shadow creature called Shade (who is something of a servant to Ignifex). Nyx, our narrator, is sympathetic in that she has been married against her will, but after a few chapters, I disliked being stuck in her head. She seemed to have no joy whatsoever in her life and was incredibly self-loathing, which, though understandable, was also quite irritating. I also didn’t quite think there was enough to her character to warrant her being especially equipped to take on this challenge. Nyx has very little agency (she never finds a single heart room - the things she needs to enact her plan - by herself) and I couldn’t quite believe that she was the first girl in 900 years to survive looking at demons (why? she just does) or think of stealing keys. I did like, however, that her arc seemed to be about embracing her anger; too often, women are told not to be angry, and giving her the space to feel her feeling was well-done. If the rooms had been more about developing that idea, I think I could have seen her as more of a heroine.

Ignifex, a demon lord, was less interesting to me because he seemed to fit the mold of that arrogant-hot-guy-who-is-actually-a-misunderstood-monster archetype. He’s strict without being a complete asshole (he doesn’t force Nyx to have sex with him, and gives her a lot of freedom to explore his “castle”), so I was inwardly groaning every time he appeared because he was another “beast” who is really just a conventionally attractive guy with a tragic past.

Shade, a “servant” made of shadow, was immediately likable because he was kind. I love characters who are low on the social ladder but intent on sticking it to the man and doing the right thing at great risk to themselves. Initially, his relationship with Nyx was rather sweet, and I very much enjoyed the interactions between the two.

The supporting characters are not very involved throughout most of the story, appearing mainly at the beginning and the end. Nyx’s family seemed altogether horrid, favoring her twin sister over her because Nyx was chosen to be the offering to the demon lord. I could understand her resentment, but I do wish there was more complexity in how she thought of them.

Nyx’s twin sister, Astraia, was naive but sweet, and although I was irritated that Nyx was so cold to her at first, I ended up enjoying that Astraia became central to Nyx’s motivations and emotional development throughout the book. I think sisters are positioned to hate each other in many fairy tales and their retellings, so seeing them connect was wonderful.

Other: Maybe this is personal preference, but I find marriage plots involving teens or young adults a bit off-putting, especially when the marriage is between a teenage girl and an immortal creature. I think I could have dealt with it fine if the marriage was just about fulfilling a bargain, but there were some scenes where Nyx was instructed to please her husband sexually, where she talks about her breasts and what revealing outfit she was wearing, how she might seduce the demon lord, where the fear of being raped is vocalized, etc. I understand that sexuality is a part of teenagers’ lives, and I’m not against depicting it in books. In this context, however, it didn’t quite sit right with me.

Speaking of the romance, I did enjoy the banter between Nyx and Ingifex, but I hated that there was a kind of love triangle with Shade. Nyx bounces back and forth between the two, and though it makes sense by the end, I loathed the moments when Nyx was basically like “Ignifex killed a bunch of people and ruined my life but he’s so hot and it’s arousing when I kiss him, so I think I like him.” This happens a lot in YA/New Adult, and I’ve never understood it. I did like, however, that the two love interests seemed to like different aspects of her. Shade treated Nyx as a hero who would save everyone, giving her confidence in herself; Ignifex allowed her to be herself and liked the darkest parts of her, which was liberating. So, in that regard, there was something interesting going on, but I’m just personally fed up with love triangles.

The major redeeming aspect of this book for me was the worldbuilding. The novel takes place in something of an alternate universe in which Greco-Roman culture and religion has continued for a few hundred more years, the gods and all immortal creatures are real, and magic is practiced and studied like a science. I loved the allusions to classical mythology, poetry, and philosophy, as well as the imaginative work that went into thinking about how a world might look if Greco-Roman society continued.

Recommendations: I would recommend this book if you’re interested in fairy tale retellings (especially Beauty and the Beast), Greco-Roman mythology and culture, demons, curses, trickster gods and bargaining, and supernatural houses/castles.

[slothcritic]

She-Ra and The Princesses Of Power - Episode 4 Review

Not incredibly impactful, but campy, fun, and has respectable progression.

Adora gets sucked into a death pit of pillows, which explodes after she fusses with it too much. I guess she’s more used to a stone cot or some equally minimalistic piece of furniture.

I also figured she would’ve changed out of her horde shirt at literally any point up to this moment. Like, even after gaining Brightmoon’s trust. But that doesn’t look like its changing.

Back in the danger zone, we get a bit more development on Skincrawler, or whatever Little Miss Power Ranger Villain of the Week’s actual name is. Hordak, her superior, seems entirely indifferent to Adora defecting and I actually really like this strictly-business attitude. It’s one grunt. Hordak has an entire faction to oversee. But for some reason this grates Darkheart in a particularly unpleasant way, and it seems she might be a little too obsessive for her own good. 

Also, Kyle’s here. What’s up, Kyle?

Adora, Glimmer and Beau are sent to the Kingdom of Vegans to help with this episode’s crisis, and during most of the this episode, Adora takes on the form of She-Ra, and helps the flower folk with their problems. Adora also seems wildly uncomfortable with the praise that’s being doled out to her as She-Ra, because bow howdy they make sure to lay it on thick to really outline the contrast in how she’s treated as normal old Adora, you know, the BAD GUY agent of the evil horde, compared to the Hero Of Us All.

They need her to fix the Tree Of Life, and Adora gives it her best, but nothing doing. Suddenly, She-Ra doesn’t look so hot to trot. People even begin to boo her when she poofs out of She-Ra form and admits that she’s pretty new to pretty much everything people are asking of her.

Throughout this whole episode however, there’s ominous smoke in the distance. Very visible. Everyone notices it. No one really decides to follow up on it until near the end when She-Ra is just unable to magic the tree back to health. The Vegans are, unsurprisingly, very combat shy. They’ve tried nothing and they’re all out of ideas, man.

The wonder trio follows the smoke to a, you guessed it, horde outpost, that appears to be injecting some kind of poison into the ground. They firmly persuade a squadron of guards to part with their armor, and Mission Impossible their way into the facility.

Point of consistency here - Adora’s sword pops in and out of existence once again. Glimmer also has a markedly different build and overall silhouette when she changes clothes here. I’m not sure if her wide-set build gets squished inside of horde armor or what, but she gets skinnier when she wears it.

Without much issue, they manage to wreck the machine, and just as they’re about to leave, some guards stop them. Adora, being a former horde agent, has this in the bag, and gives them a password to let them know it’s all clear.

Bad news, Adora is using the old password. They’ve changed passwords since she’d left. Whoops. Though I love this touch of realism in the show, it does lead to a shoot-out and fight scene with three kids against a series of armed soldiers.

Adora goes Super Saiyan once more and I have to wonder if the Raditz hair is really necessary every time this happens. You could probably choke someone to death with all that hair. Use it like a garotte wire or just smother them with it. Yeesh.

The wonder trio, even with She-Ra, seems to be having difficulties with the guards, until the vegans learn how to punch people. Imagine getting laid out by a flower. Catch these hands? Nah, you’re gonna catch these petals.

The Queen of the Vegans is extremely grateful for She-Ra stopping the poison, which thus returns their special tree back to full bloom, and as a bonus, they learned how to stand up for themselves, and everyone has a renewed sense of confidence. Flower Princess joins the alliance.

At the very end, Adora gets the bed of her dreams (a stone cot!) and bunks with Glimmer since she’s not used to sleeping alone. Slumber party!

Conclusion

This felt like a fun, campy episode. Some of it was laid on thick. Some of it was very clearly done because there are certain milestones or checklists on the narrative that need to be addressed. Their approach to these, and the dynamic between themes and characters in this episode, was at least interesting. This also reeks of series progression to me. Recruiting the flower princess doesn’t just seem like a one-off. Which princess are we going after next? What will happen when all of this culminates? And that sequence with Shadowstalker leaves me wondering what’s in store her for down the line.

This episode is very light-hearted and has a very self-contained arc, but I liked it. It was enjoyable, direct, provided personal growth for the characters, and we’re seeing a change in interactions across the story, from Hordak and Moonlord, to the The Queen, She-Ra, and Flower Princess.

However, because it’s light-hearted, it doesn’t have any resounding BANG to the overall story. It’s the set-up before the bang. There’s nothing here that leaves on you a cliffhanger or anxious or curious for more, or anything extremely gripping or interesting. It’s a gentle episode, and almost seems like a slice of life series of episodes are lined up for the next few weeks. There are still blunders with keeping the sword consistently drawn.

Score: 69

Passing Thoughts

Nice.

[valamerys]

I really enjoy your blog so is it okay if I ask you top 10 pet peeves in novels? It can be tropes or even a niche moment in a particular book. I like writing myself and would appreciate the help.

hmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM sure, I can come up with some things! bear in mind I read almost exclusively fantasy, and mostly “low” ie not game of thrones fantasy at that, including a loooot of YA, so my items will reflect that.

Top (YA, Fantasy) Fiction Pet Peeves:

1) Unnecessary post-apocalyptic setting  WHY THE FUCK. DO PEOPLE KEEP DOING THIS. WHAT DOES THIS GAIN ANYONE. WHAT IS THE POINT. Red Queen, The Selection, The Queen of the Tearling, and that weird TV show The Shanarananaharahahananaaa Chronicles all do this. It’s, frankly, a cheap-ass bid for Dark and Gritty points, and also an excuse to set things in America But Fantasy, and it’s always bad and awkward. This isn’t planet of the apes, just make your damn fantasy world; you don’t have to try to make it more ~realistic~ by putting the ruins of the statue of liberty in the background. That’s stupid and you’re stupid.

2) One-note characters  Mostly present via The Bitch or The Bully stereotype, but also seen in The Bratty Brother, The Sweet Sister, The Spacey DGAF Parent, and the Eccentric Wise Elder. I get that there’s not time to flesh out every single person your protagonist comes into contact with, but certain archetypes are so fucking boring and done to death that I tune out immediately. It’s not 2004 anymore. The game has evolved. We can do better. We can be more interesting.

Related to the sweet sister trope, I’d like to bring up this text post from my other blog:

3) When the protagonists’ actions/ choices do not affect the plot  Alright, this one isn’t even a pet peeve, it’s basic narrative construction. Your story is supposed to be about your protagonist (or your two or three protagonists, in a multi-pov story, but for simplicity’s sake we’ll talk about one) and their arc, how they change and grow. a) If their actions never have consequences, how the fuck do they, like, learn things? and b) if their actions have no bearing on the climax of the story, how the fuck does the story demonstrate that they’ve changed, or come to a meaningful conclusion that’s related to that? Sure there’s weird literary exceptions, and certainly some fantasy in particular is more plot than character driven, but if your character is honestly never proactive, particularly through the ending of the book, uh, i have a major problem and so should you.

4) The Mandatory Feminism Stuff  we should all know these by now. “Not Like Other Girls” is bad. Hating on corsets and other femme paraphernalia is bad (and moreover i personally resent it because I love corsets). A book with a female protagonist and no other important female characters (or only evil female characters) is bad. A high fantasy series that builds its worldbuilding on a raging patriarchy for the purpose of elevating a few specific women into positions of power for superficial RAH RAH FEMINISM points while not addressing systematic oppression is really, really bad. Defining female empowerment as only one thing (IE picking up a sword and Proving Yourself just as badass as all those scoffing men!!!) is bad. I’m very tired and I want to read about women-- different kinds of women, with different moral alignments and interests and abilities and ethnic backgrounds and ages and sexualities and beliefs-- helping each other and being forces in the world and in each others’ lives. That’s it. That’s all I want. I have no clue why that’s so elusive.

5) Characters being flippant to the point of stupidity because........ that’s cool, i guess?  Homygod, I am so sick to my teeth of characters who would get their asses kicked IRL for being obnoxious and overly glib be appraised with “wow, you’ve really got some nerve! I like you, kid!” or some variation therof. Mouthing off to superiors/ royalty? Charging into a fight on a stray heroic impulse despite everyone with a brain and their mom telling you you’re going to die because you just picked up swordfighting on tuesday? flagrantly and thoughtlessly disregarding engrained cultural things because they don’t align with your conveniently 2017 sense of social justice despite you living in an analogue-medieval world? Not cute. It will get you fucking killed. If your character doesn’t seem to grasp that, I’m going to think they’re a dumbshit, and if the book rewards rather than punishes that, I’m not going to take it very seriously. (obviously there are exceptions to this, particularly if your world doesn’t take itself very seriously, but if you expect to instill a real sense of danger in day-to-day life, your protagonist doesn’t get to be exempt from that because they’re hot and witty.)

6) Also, characters being stubborn. This goes with my last point, because it’s another trait people seem to think is like cool, or something? That stubborn people are stubborn because they’re Strong? that it’s a flaw but it’s actually a Cool Flaw, like in job interviews when they ask your weakness and you say “i’m just TOO hard of a worker, ha ha ha”? U see this a lot in female characters written by people who are uncomfortable writing female characters, i think because, again, it mistakenly reads as Strength on some really superficial level, and because the banter and petty conflict that arises from it temporarily distracts from weak overall characterization. If you’re going to write a character being stubborn, that’s great! But understand that a) it’s a real flaw that can genuinely blind them to good ideas and cause unnecessary friction that shouldn’t be treated as endearing, b) it’s not a replacement for other elements of characterization!! and c) it’s the flipside of being assertive, which is a good thing: no trait is only a flaw or a strength, and so any trait a character possess in abundance should both help and hinder them at different times, with maturity level tempering the bad, to a degree. stubbornness is no different.

7) Sexual assault (or the threat of it) all over the fucking place. Do i have to explain this one? Of course ownvoices books about sexual assault survivors are good and necessary but we are all sick to death of "fun” fantasy worlds where the female characters exist under the constant and unending threat of rape, where sexual assault is common as window dressing and the love interests are Super Special Feminist Snowflakes for being so revolutionary as to take consent into account. fuck that. that should be the bare fucking minimum. i am so tired.

8) The Six-Pack Sex Appeal Golem  Honestly, I am not here to hate on love triangles, because I am ALL ABOUT the romance and the more the merrier. But what i do really, really loathe is the incredibly narrow parameters that have come to exist for male love interests, to the point where they all tend to feel like the same guy in need of anger management: a little broody, smart, serious, jealous and protective to a fault, if we get his POV we get real creepy sexual thoughts out of nowhere while he acts vaguely standoffish and probably a little patronizing to a woman whose Attitude gives him a boner. This man does not experience emotions that can’t be interpreted as darkly sexual, or possibly A Little Bit Vulnerable, just for that one scene of mandatory backstory reveal. I recently reviewed a real bad romance novel and described the hero as “a barely-consistent golem of toxic masculine ideals” and that’s what I’m talking about here. MAKE YOUR LOVE INTERESTS WELL-ROUNDED AND UNIQUE CHARACTERS LIKE ALL YOUR OTHER CHARACTERS. Forget what’s “sexy,” I wanna see the male love interests be Soft and Weird and cry in an unattractive way. For further reading/ a great case study of the Masculine Golem, please just read this article about how abysmal the romance in ROAR is. (For what it’s worth, I actually think SJM manages to avoid this in the ACOTAR series. Rhys and Tamlin suck but they are still mostly consistent characters, not just shells inhabited by the spirit of heterosexuality. your mileage may vary, though.)

9) Secret Superpower/ She Was The Missing Princess/ Queen All Along  I think this is a trend that’s slowly but surely passing from YA, but for a while you couldn’t throw a rock in a bookstore without hitting a trilogy where a long-lost missing princess was established in chapter 1 and you spent the whole fucking first book knowing the orphaned heroine with a murky past was gonna turn out to be the princess and you were always right. Queens are also a huge fucking thing right now, although they don’t tend to follow that exact formula. See also the character’s discovery of a superpower catapulting them into a new exciting life-- basically any discovery of a Cool Sexy birthright as a catalyst for a plot is kind of played out and boring, at this point in time? This ties into my earlier point about wanting characters’ choices to shape the plot; it’s so much easier to have them reacting to external forces, especially dramatic, aesthetic ones, i get that, but you’ll get a more original and interesting story the more you resist that urge. And everyone is fucking tired of secret princesses and can spot them a mile away, y’all.

10) OMG magic is outlawed!!! BUT WAIT THE PROTAGONIST HAS SECRET MAGIC! CAN SHE RISE ABOVE PERSECUTION AND HER PROBABLE ROMANCE WITH THE PRINCE OF THIS POORLY-THOUGHT-OUT TOTALITARIAN REGIME TO LEAD ALL MAGIC-HAVERS TO FREEDOM AND ACCEPTANCE???? If you do this i’m going to come to your house and pour a cup of soda on your head. This is dumb and I can’t believe I’ve seen it multiple times. I’m not even explaining this it should be obvious.

Honorable mentions go to: Excessive mentions/ descriptions of eye color, really tired ways of describing kissing, elemental magic is super fucking overdone, instalove, and Training Montages

[bizarredawdler]

I finally finished Super Mario Odyssey! Although technically, I still haven’t 100% it, I still beat the main game and saw pretty much all of what the game had to offer. Since I might talk about some stuff that happens late in the game, I will warn that there are SPOILERS here (even though those spoilers are fairly tame here since I mean were talking about a Mario game here and it’s not necessarily the most narrative driven game out there). So with that, let’s get down to it!

WHAT I LIKED:

- The variety in the levels. There are some really cool levels to explore here and I was really surprised at how they took familiar settings like lava worlds, water worlds and the like and turned them into something really interesting! I also HAVE to mention the city level, which is pretty much the highlight of the entire game in my opinion. Seeing Mario running around in a realistic city is pretty unbelievable, but hey it works!

- The variety and speed you get moons. Like Super Mario 64, there are a number of ways to get a moon. But unlike that game, Super Mario Odyssey has a lot more different ways you can get moons from your traditional platforming levels to doing fun minigames to even just randomly finding one out of nowhere and more! Not only that, but you get moons QUICK in this game and you also stay in the current level you’re in, which I think is a good idea since it keeps the pace of the gameplay consistent and encourages continuing play (which is different from Super Mario 64 because everytime you got a star, you were booted back to the hub world and had to re-enter the level to get another one).

- The “possess stuff” mechanic. As much as the implications of Mario possessing enemies and even people are horrifying… it’s actually pretty fun! Jokes aside, you get a nice variety of stuff and enemies to possess, and it’s fun to mess around with their specific mechanics in each level they’re in.

- The Broodals themselves. They’re basically another version of the Koopa kids, but I actually like the Broodals better. They’ve got nice character designs, and although their fights were pretty easy, they were still the ones I had the most fun out of all the other boss fights in the game. Also, this might sound weird, but their boss, Madame Broode, is kinda hot : P (that red dress as well as those good ol’ tiddy physics sure help!)

- The nostalgia. Unlike a lot of media today that exploit people’s nostalgia in a rather excessive and exploitative manner, Nintendo knows how to do it with style. There are a lot of segments in the game where you transform into 8-bit Mario and it was fun playing those. It was also fun seeing all the nods to the franchise throughout the game, some were even obscure! But the absolute best nostalgic part to me was after you beat the game: you get to walk around Princess Peach’s castle and you unlock the original low-poly Mario 3D model from Super Mario 64. Wearing this costume while walking into a surprisingly accurate interior of Peach’s castle made me feel so happy and I felt like a kid again for a brief moment. Definetly one of the highlights of the game for me, especially since I have a lot of nostalgia for Super Mario 64.

WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE:

- The music that plays in the climax of the game. It was so out of place and corny that I thought I was listening to an intro for a show on Disney Channel, with the very basic guitar riffs and “totally rad” attitude. Compared to “Jump Up Superstar” (essentially the game’s main theme) which at least felt like a song you would hear in the context it’s played in, this one really felt out of place and took me out of the game for a few seconds by how bad it was. Really odd choice, Nintendo!

- The controls. Although Mario’s movement mechanics are perfectly fine and even solid, playing with the two motion controlled joycons felt pretty wobbly at times, and there were some occasions where I accidently made a motion control move when I didn’t want to do it, leading to some accidental deaths. This is definitely one of those games where I recommend playing with a Pro controller to play the game, especially for the more difficult challenges that await you if you decide to 100% the game.

- The boss fight difficulty. This has always been a problem with Mario games in general in my opinion, but it is unfortunately still a problem here: the boss fights are just way too easy and predictable. You can see their telegraphed attacks coming from a mile away, they patiently wait for you to attack them when you get them weakened and they die in 3 hits as it always is in Mario games. I kinda wanted to see something different for this game in terms of intimidating boss fights, and I was a little disappointed.

- Lack of innovation. This game didn’t really feel as innovative as Super Mario Galaxy in terms of really moving the series forward with the mechanics, gameplay and lore. It felt more like a revisit of the Super Mario 64 formula, with some twists. While this isn’t bad at all, and the game is perfectly OK as is (I’ll take a super Mario 64 –esque game rather than a New Super Mario Bros-esque game anytime), compared to how The Legend of Zelda Breath of The Wild did a lot of drastic changes to the LoZ formula, Super Mario Odyssey feels like they went for a safer approach and just stuck to what worked in all the previous mainline Mario entries and mixed them together, and I would’ve liked to see something a little more revolutionary.

OVERALL:

I really enjoyed this game! I had a lot of nostalgia for Super Mario 64, and seeing this game not only honor the game it was inspired by, but also be a legit really good game is something I have to applaud Nintendo for. Almost everything about the game was fun and the memories that I have of this game as well as Super Mario 64 or ones that I’ll treasure for a long time. You’re welcome, Mario : )

[straydogstory]

Divest From the Video Games Industry! by Marina Kittaka

https://medium.com/@even_kei/divest-from-the-video-games-industry-814a1381092d

This piece seeks to contextualize the problems of the video games industry within its own mythology, and from there, to imagine and celebrate new directions through a lens of anti-capitalist and embodied compassion.

My name is Marina Ayano Kittaka (she/her), I’m a 4th gen Japanese American trans woman from middle class background. I work in a variety of different art forms but my bread and butter are the video games I make with my friend Melos Han-Tani, e.g. the Anodyne series.

I am not an authority on any of these topics, and it’s not my intention to speak over anyone else or offer comprehensive solutions, only to be one small piece of a larger conversation and movement. I use declarative and imperative sentences for clarity, not certainty.

I seek to follow the leadership of BIPOC abolitionist thinkers such as Ejeris Dixon, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, adrienne maree brown and Ruth Wilson Gilmore, along with the work of local (to me) groups like Black Visions Collective and MPD150. I welcome feedback, especially if you believe that something I’ve said is harmful.

This piece is inspired by the latest wave of survivors bravely sharing their stories (it is June 2020, during the Covid-19 pandemic and global uprising against anti-Black racism and the unjust institution of police). I believe and stand with survivors.

The Problems

The video games industry has many deep, tragic, and intertwining problems. It’s beyond the scope of this piece to examine the entirety of games culture (I will focus on development and, to a lesser degree, distribution). It’s also beyond the scope of this piece to convince anyone that these problems exist, but I’ll be moving forward with the assumption that we agree that they do. Here is an incomplete list:

Pervasive sexual abuse

Workplace abuse, bullying, crunch, burnout, generally exploitative labor conditions

Sexism, racism, and other bigotry — the above abuses are accentuated along these intersections (e.g. the sexual abuse of marginalized genders or the exclusion of racial minorities).

Supply chain problems including conflict minerals and exploitative factory conditions

Heavy environmental impacts

Non-Judgement

This conversation may spark hurt or defensive feelings. I want to address this directly. Many people love video games, and not only that, but are deeply invested in the world of games. I’m particularly sensitive to marginalized creators who have fought hard to find a foothold in the games industry and deserve to follow their dreams. I exist more on the periphery of the games industry and my goal is not to center my personal anger or disdain — but instead to push toward a world with better games, played by happier audiences, made by creators who feel safe and appreciated.

Additionally, this conversation is not about the merits of any individual AAA (large studio) game. It’s not about creating strict rules about media consumption. It’s not about shaming people into certain beliefs or behaviors. When we try to act like our personal tastes must align with our most high-minded ideals, we encourage shame or denial — things that distance us from others.

Nor is this exclusively about AAA. This is about any situation where the power becomes the point. There can be gradations of industrial complexes and power complexes existing from the smallest micro-communities to the largest corporations. We can divest on all levels.

The Industry Promise

I believe that many of us as game creators and audiences have (consciously or not) bought into the idea that happiness and wonder are scarce and fragile commodities — precious gems mined via arcane and costly processes. Life can often be isolating, alienating, and traumatic, and many of us cope by numbing some parts of ourselves¹. The poignance and pleasure of simply feeling becomes rare.

In answer to this perceived scarcity, The Industry swoops in with a promise that technological and design mastery can “make” people feel. It does this not only blatantly in marketing copy or developer interviews, but also in unwieldy assertions that games can make you empathic, or through the widespread notion that games are an exceptionally “immersive” art form due to “interactivity”. Embedded in this promise is the ever-alluring assumption that technological progress is linear: games overall must be getting better, more beautiful, more moving, because that is simply how technology works! Or perhaps it is the progress itself that is beautiful — each impressive jump towards photorealism delivering the elusive sense of wonder that we crave.

At this point, I could argue that the benefits are not worth the cost, that the aforementioned Problems outweigh even this idealized vision of what games provide. But I’m guessing many of you might find that unsatisfying, right? Why don’t we simply reform the system? Spread awareness and training about sexism and racism, create more art that engenders empathy, encourage diversity? Isn’t it throwing the baby out with the bathwater to “halt” technological progress in order to fix some issues of bad leadership here or abusive superstar there?

Here we come to my main purpose in writing this piece: to expand the imaginative space around video games by tearing out The Industry Promise at its roots. If wonder is not scarce and progress is not linear, then the world that rises from the ashes of the Video Games Industry can be more exciting and more technologically vibrant than ever before.

Precious Gems

Take a deep breath and picture some of the happy moments of your life. Maybe some of them look like this:

Staying up late and getting slaphappy with a friend; looking out over a beautiful landscape; a passionate kiss; collaborating with friends in a session of DnD or Minecraft; a thoughtful gift from someone you admire; a cool drink on a hot summer day; making a new friend who feels like they really see you; singing a song; a hug from someone who smells nice; getting junk food late at night and feeling naughty about it; the vivid colors and sounds of a rainy city evening; drifting to sleep in the cottony silence of a smalltown homestead; getting a crew together to see a new movie; the scent of the air at sunrise; having a meaningful conversation with a nonverbal baby.

Picture the games you loved most as a child, the games that felt full of possibility and mystery and fun. Were they all the most technologically advanced? The most critically revered?

Maybe your happy moments look nothing like this. Or maybe you can’t recall feeling happy and that’s the whole problem. But my point is that happiness, joy, fun… these things are at their core fluid, social, narrative, contextual, chemical. In both its best and most common incarnations, happiness is not shoved into your passive body by the objective “high quality” of an experience. Both recent psychological research and traditions from around the world (e.g. Buddhist monks) suggest that happiness and well-being are growable skills rooted in compassion.

Think of all the billions of people who have ever lived, across time, across cultures, with video games and without, living nomadically or settling in cities or jungles. In every moment there are infinite reasons to suffer and infinite reasons to be happy². Giant industry’s monopolistic claims to “art” or “entertainment” have always been a capitalist lie, nonsensical yet inescapable.

The Narrative of Technology and Progress

Is this an anti-technology screed? Am I suggesting we must all go outside like in the good old days and play “hoop and stick” until the end of time? Let’s start by unpacking what we mean when we say “technology”. Here’s one definition:

Technology is the sum of techniques, skills, methods, and processes used in the production of goods or services or in the accomplishment of objectives. — Wikipedia

Honestly, technology is such a vague and broad concept that nearly anything anyone ever does could be considered technological! As such, how we use the term in practice is very revealing of our cultural values. Computing power, massive scale, photorealistic graphics, complex AI, VR experiences that attempt to recreate the visual and aural components of a real or imagined situation… certainly these are all technologies that can and have grown in sophistication over time. But what The Industry considers technological progress actually consists of fairly niche goals that have been artificially inflated because capitalists have figured out they can make money this way. Notably, I don’t use “niche” here as an insult — aren’t many of the most fascinating things intrinsically niche? But when one restrictive narrative sucks all the air out of the room and leaves a swath of emotional and physical devastation in its wake… isn’t it time to question it?

What if humans having basic needs met is “technological progress”? What if indigenous models of sustainable living are “hi-tech”? What if creating a more accessible world where people have freedom of movement opens up numerous high-fidelity multisensory experiences? These questions go far beyond the scope of the video games industry, sure, but in the words of adrienne maree brown, “what we practice at the small scale sets the patterns for the whole system”³.

What We Hope to Gain

The kneejerk reaction to dismantling an existing structure tends to be a subtractive vision. Here we are, living in the exact same world, but all blockbuster video games have been magically snapped out of existence… only hipster indie games remain! Missing from this vision is the understanding that our current existence is itself subtractive — what we cling to now comes at the expense of so much good. The loss of maturing vision and skill when people leave the industry due to burnout, sexual assault, and racist belittlement. Corporate IP laws and progress narratives that disincentivize preservation and rob us of our rich and fertile history. The ad-centric, sanitized, and consolidated internet that chokes out democratized community spaces. The fighting-for-scraps mentality that the larger industry places on small creators with its sparing and self-interested investment. Our current value system limits not only what AAA games are but also what everything else has the capacity to be.

Utopia does not have an aesthetic. We don’t need to prescribe the correct “alt” taste. Games can be high and low, sacred and profane, cute and ugly, left brain and right. Destroying the games industry does not mean picking an alternate niche to replace it. Instead, we seek to open the floodgates to a world in which countless decentralized, intimate, and overlapping niches might thrive.

When we decentralize power, we not only create the conditions for more and better games, we also diminish the conditions under which abuse can flourish. Many of the stories of abuse hinge on the abuser wielding the power to dramatically help or harm the careers of others. The consolidation of this power is enhanced by our collective investment in The Industry Promise (not forgetting the wider cultural intersections of oppression). Mythologized figures ascend along a linear axis of greatness, shielded by the horrifying notion that they are less replaceable than others because their ranking in The Industry evidences their mystical importance.

What’s Next?

Here is a fundamental truth: we do not need video games. Paradoxically, this truth opens up the world of video games to be as full and varied and strange and contradictory as life itself.

So. Say you agree with all or part of my assertions that collectively we may proceed to end the video games industry by divesting our attention, time, and money, and building something new with each other. But what does that look like in practice? I don’t have all the answers. I find community very difficult due to my own trauma. Nonetheless, I’ll do some brainstorming. Skim this and read what speaks to you personally, or do your own brainstorming!

Center BIPOC/queer leadership

I.e. people who have been often forcibly divested from the majority culture and have experience in creating alternatives. Draw on influences outside of media e.g. transformative justice, police abolition, and prison abolition. Books like Beyond Survival and Emergent Strategy are based in far deeper understanding of organizing than anything written here, and are much more relevant to the direct and immediate issues of things like responding to sexual assault in our communities.

Divest from celebrity/authority

Many people will tell you that their most rewarding artistic relationships are with peers, not mentors and certainly not idols. Disengage from social media-as-spectator sport where larger-than-life personalities duke it out via hot take. Question genius narratives wherever they arise. Cultivate your own power and the power of those adjacent to you. If you feel yourself becoming a celebrity: take a step back, recognize the power that you wield over others, redirect opportunities to marginalized creators whose work you respect, invest in completely unrelated areas of your life, go to therapy.

Divest from video games exceptionalism

Academics have delved into video games’ inferiority complex and the topic of “video games exceptionalism”, which is tied into what I frame as The Industry Promise above — the idea that video games as a technological vanguard are brimming with inherent value due to all the things they can do that other forms of media cannot. This ensures that gobs of money get thrown around, but it’s an ahistorical and isolating notion that does nothing to actually advance our understanding of games as a form (Interesting discussion on this here, which reminds me of Richard Terrell’s work regarding vocabulary).

Reimagine scale

Rigorously question the notion that “bigger is better” at every turn. With regards to projects, studios, events, continually ask “why?” in the face of any pressure to make something bigger, and then try to determine what might be lost as well as what might be gained. Compromising on values tends to be inevitable at scale, workplace abuse or deals with questionable entities. For me this calls to mind the research led by psychologist Daniel Kahneman suggesting that the happiness benefits of wealth taper off dramatically once a comfortable standard of living is reached. Anyone who’s ever had a tweet go viral can tell you that it’s fun at first and then it just becomes annoying. Living in a conglomerated, global world, we regularly have to face and process social metrics that are completely incomprehensible to the way our social brains are programmed, and the results are messy. Are there ever legitimate uses for a huge team working on a project for many years? Sure, probably, but the idea that this is some sort of ideal normal situation that everyone should strive for is based on nothing but propaganda.

Redefine niche

Above I suggest that AAA is niche. I believe it’s true broadly, but that it’s definitely true relative to their budgets. What do I mean by this? AAA marketing budgets are reported to be an additional 75–100% relative to development costs (possibly even higher in some cases). Isn’t this mindblowing? If a game naturally appealed to proportionately mass numbers of people by virtue of its High Quality or Advanced Technology, then would we really need to spend tens or hundreds of millions of dollars just to convince people to play it? For contrast, Melos estimates that our marketing budget for Anodyne 2 was an added 10% of development costs and it was a modest commercial success. Certainly marketing is a complex field that can be ethical, but to me, there is something deeply unhealthy about the capacity of large studios to straight up purchase their own relevance (according to some research, marketing influences game revenue three times more than high review scores).

On a separate but related note, I don’t buy that all the perceived benefits of AAA such as advancements in photorealism will vanish without the machine of The Industry to back them. People are astonishing and passionate! It won’t always necessarily look like a 60 hour adventure world, but it will be a niche that we can support like any other.

Ground yourself in your body

Self-compassion, mindfulness, meditation, exercise, breathing, nature, inter-being. There are many ways to build your capacity to experience joy, wonder, and happiness. One of the difficult things about this process though is that if you approach these topics head on, you’ll often be overwhelmed with Extremely Specific Aesthetics that might not fit you (e.g. New Agey or culturally appropriative). My advice is to 1) be open to learning from practices that don’t fit your brand while also 2) being able to adapt the spirit of advice into something that actually works for you. The benefit of locating our capacity for joy internally is that it reveals that The Industry is fundamentally superfluous and so we are free to take what we want and throw the rest in the compost pile.

As a side note, some artists (who otherwise have structural access to things like mental health services) fear becoming healthy, because they’re worried that they will lose the spark and no longer make good art. Speaking as an artist whose creative capacity has consistently increased with my mental health, there are multiple reasons why I don’t think people should worry about this.

You carry your past selves within you, even as you change. “Our bodies are neural and physiological reservoirs of all our significant experiences starting in our prenatal past to the present.”⁴

You can lose a spark and gain another. You can gain 6 sparks in place of the one you lost.

What is it that you ultimately seek from being “good at art”? Ego satisfaction? Human connection? Self-respect? All of these things would be easier to come by in the feared scenario in which you are so happy and healthy that you can no longer make art. Cut out the middleman! Art is for nerds!

Invest outside of games

Games culture often encourages a total identification with video games. This pressures developers into working and audiences into buying, conveniently benefitting executives and shareholders to everyone else’s detriment. Investing in interests wholly unrelated to video games is beneficial in many ways and there’s something for everyone! Personally, I love books. A novel is “low-tech” in nearly every way that a AAA game is “high-tech”, and yet books are affordable, data-light, easy-to-preserve, stimulating, challenging, immersive, and entertaining. What is technology, again?

Another pertinent thought: while there’s nothing inherently wrong with dating a fellow game developer, you should not enter industry/work spaces or events looking for romantic connection. Particularly if you have any sort of institutional power, you will inevitably put others in uncomfortable situations and prime yourself to commit abuse. If you want sex, relationships, etc, find other outlets, shared interests, and dating pools.

Work towards a more accessible world

In the context of an often systemically ableist world, video games can — at their best — be fun, valuable, and accessible experiences for disabled audiences. Consequently, when I say “divest from the video games industry”, I don’t want to gloss over the fact that divestment comes with a different cost for different people. Certainly accessibility within video games continues to be as important as ever, but if I’m asking, e.g., for people to “invest outside of games”, then a commitment to a more accessible out-of-game world is also extremely vital. For instance, non-disabled people can be attuned during this particular moment to the unique perspectives and leadership of disabled people regarding Covid lockdowns and widespread work-from-home, and be wary as we gradually lift restrictions of reverting to a selective and hypocritical approach to accommodations.

Invest in alternative technological advancements

What might we have the resources, attention, and energy to grow if our industry weren’t so laser focused on a constricted definition of technological advancement? For example, audio-only games appear to me an incredibly fertile area for technological advancement that has been under-resourced. How about further advancements towards biodegradable/recyclable microchips and batteries? A fundamental rethinking of the “home console” model in which each successive generation strives to obsolete the last and sell tens of millions new hardware units? Something like an arcade or those gaming lounges (but do they all have to have the same aggressive aesthetics?). The success of Pokemon GO seems to gesture at potential for social, non-remote video game experiences with broader demographic/aesthetic appeal. At the Portland (Maine) Public Library, there’s a console setup in the teen section where local kids would play and they also had a selection of console games for checkout — that was really cool! Local game dev organizations like GLITCH creating events where local devs show and playtest games with the public��

Look to small tools

Small tools such as hobbyist-centered game engines very naturally and successfully act as springboards to community. Look at ZZT, early Game Maker (e.g. gamemakergames), OHRRPGCE. Look at bitsy, PuzzleScript, Pico-8! Look at Electric Zine Maker by Nathalie Lawhead as well as this post they wrote on small tools. Small tools, by virtue of their limitations, tend to lend themselves to particular aesthetics and goals. Whether you’re ultimately playing to or against the core gravitational pull of a small tool, I think it grounds you within a certain design conversation that is conducive to community. Participating in these communities as a child (even though I rarely interacted directly) fundamentally instilled in me ideas like: people make their own fun; wonder is uncorrelated with budget; being strangely specific has value. Can other structures learn from small tools? Events, meetings, parties… what happens if we think of these as communal “engines” — structures built around a conversational core that people can use to create things or express themselves…?

Something that crosses my mind often is that it may be fundamentally healthy for us all to be “big fish in small ponds” in one way or another. The idea that there exists One True Big Pond that reflects all of our collective values simultaneously is a harmful myth that serves to direct all admiration and energy towards corporate interests and robs the rest of us of our accomplishments.

Sucking as praxis

“Professional artistry” as the capacity to maintain the shared illusion that there are indisputable measures of beauty and worth. When you allow the illusion to fail — often against your will — 1) capitalist powers will be disappointed in their inability to wield you with proper efficiency and 2) fellow small creators will be heartened because you bypassed the illusion and still offered something worthy. Failure in a backwards system can be strength. Growing as an artist can be a gloriously paradoxical affair.

Fight for history

We miss out on so much when history is lost to us, and video games are extraordinarily susceptible due to their technical dependencies on ever-shifting hardware. The Industry’s current incarnation goes beyond history-apathy to a downright historical hostility. Sustaining the narrative of linear technological progress inevitably involves shitting on the past (there are a chosen few old games that are kept accessible, but they feel like exceptions proving the rule). Emulation is a vital resource, ever on the verge of outlaw (See Nintendo’s legal actions), Internet Archive is under attack, and Disney warps copyright laws to keep their stranglehold on media intact. Overviews and longplays of difficult-to-play older games are incredibly valuable and I’m truly grateful for people who do this vital work. Off the top of my head, I’ve enjoyed Nitro Rad’s comprehensive work in 3D platformers, and Cannot Be Tamed’s retro reviews. See also: the Video Game History Foundation.

Public libraries could be a vital ally in this cause. What if libraries had access to legacy tech or specialized emulation software that made playing, researching, or recording from old video games more feasible? What if small creators or defunct small studios could get grants or support in preserving their own old work? Would disappointing institutional responses to Gamergate have played out differently if knowledge of and respect for the ongoing historic contributions of BIPOC, female, and/or queer developers were built into the core fabric of video games spaces? Would it be so easy to accept the AAA model as the pinnacle of technology if we contextualized the astounding complexity of past games like Dwarf Fortress, or the Wizardry or Ultima series — technological complexity that would not have been possible had the games been beholden to modern AAA priorities? (Talking out of my ass here, as I have never played these games. See also: modern work on Dwarf Fortress). See also: The Spriter’s Resource and it’s affiliate sites.

Expand government arts funding

I don’t know a lot about this, but… there should be more of it! I see it happening more in other countries besides the US.

Labor organizing

We can look into studio structures like co-ops. We can join unions. Those unions must be intersectional to the core (see recent events regarding GWU international). How about dual power? Many small studios could combine in overlapping networks of varying formality. They could integrate their audiences, cross-promote, build collective power so as to not be totally beholden to the will of corporations. I’m not an expert on labor though, look to others who know more.

Collaborative / open source resources

E.g. The Open Source Afro Hair Library, Open Game Art, Rrrrrose Azerty’s prolific CC0 music and the broader Free Music Archive community.

Give money

Normalize mutual aid. Normalize buying small games. Contribute to things like Galaxy Fund.

Just Play!

Play something totally random on itch.io (or another community-oriented site) with no outside recommendation. Compliment and/or pay the developer if you like something about it!

Conclusion

Thank you for engaging with these thoughts! I hope that they spark thoughts for you, and that we can all learn from each other. Feel free to reach out to me on twitter or via email: marinakittaka@gmail.com

[Edit: at 11:20PM CDT, 6/25/20, I changed the audio games link from a wikipedia article to the more relevant-seeming: https://audiogames.net/]

[theonceoverthinker]

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: Top Ten Season 1 Songs

Welcome back to the third of my eight list discussing the various numbers of Crazy-Ex Girlfriend. As I’m sure you know by the title, today, I’m covering the best of Season 1!

This was a damn near IMPOSSIBLE list to make. Seasons 1 and 3 are stuffed to the brim with not only good musical numbers, but GREAT musical numbers! Many of these songs are classic staples that are to this day celebrated as the best of the series and cutting down my top picks into ten entries was anything but easy. 

Now, if you’ve seen my past lists, you’ll know that bit songs (Songs that clock in at or below one minute and fifteen seconds) as well as reprises and theme songs are ineligible because they have lists of their own. No, this list is celebrating the meatiest of meat songs!

So let’s get to it!

10. Cold Showers

I know that this isn’t exactly the most popular song choice, nor is it really as character-infused as other numbers, but hey, it’s number 10 for a reason. I love this number. “Trouble” from the Music Man is one of my favorite show tunes from that time period and this song acts as a great homage to it. You see the absurd reaches that Rebecca goes for with just a lack of hot water to go on. And because of that, here we get to see the charisma that makes Rebecca such a good lawyer on full display. While she’s great at creating awkward situations, she also knows what makes people ticks and just how to exploit those fears. And we get to see all three major parties of the Whitefeather Law Office working together. We see just how good of a team they are and how well Daryl and Paula support Rebecca’s talents, showing how Daryl managed to own his own law firm and foreshadowing Paula’s desire to be a lawyer. Additionally, I love high energy songs and this song has a stellar rhythm that chugs along and builds all the way to the ending! It’s like being at a New Years Eve party and you’re seeing all of the energy circulating as people watch the ball drop! Overall, this is just a fun number that allows for some cute character moments and fun dynamics, and that’s why I love it!

9. After Everything I’ve Done For You (That You Didn’t Ask For)

Paula might just be my favorite character in the series, and when she gets a phenomenal number, she knocks it out of the frack-a-lacking park! And here, getting the last main character number of the season, she leaves the season on a memorable as heck! I love numbers that allow Paula to just BELT. Donna has a chest-heavy voice like myself and Gabrielle and when she gets to do that, her songs go from good to great! Okay, but I can go on about the singing forever, so let’s talk about the number. All season, we’ve been building towards this flip of the perception of craziness between our two female leads. While Rebecca’s been learning more about herself and the world, connecting with Greg, and realizing the harm she’s doing to both Josh and Valencia, Paula...hasn’t. She hasn’t had that level of growth and instead of distancing herself from Rebecca’s love life, she’s infused her identity with it and her perceived “right guy.” And here, that all comes to a head. Just as Rebecca seems on the verge of her own real stride towards reciprocated romance and happiness, Paula’s blasts at her with displays of insanity. We are freaked out -- though on some level, unsurprised by the increasingly absurd lengths Paula’s gone to to push Rebecca and Josh closer together, so much so that Rebecca becomes less of a friend to her as something of a reality TV star. Because of that, the song homage to “Rose’s Turn” hits its bulls-eye so well and to this day remains as a striking number in the series that I love!

8. West Covina

West Covina is a straight up spectacle! From the visual gags (My personal favorite of which is the “Josh” sign from right before she leaves New York) to the giant group number to the funny lyrics, how could this NOT make the list? Just like Rebecca’s journey, there’s more nuance to the song as a whole. First, musically, I love how the song builds up. We hear the music build from light orchestrations to light woodwinds to a swelling band! Second, just as the music builds up, we see the company grow from just Rebecca to bits of the people she encounters along the way to the band and finally, to everyone she encountered in the number. Third, the song is just funny. The deep denial Rebecca digs herself into is complemented marvelously by the visual gags and her non-substantive interactions with the people of West Covina. It’s hilarious seeing how Rebecca romanticizes an initially mundane if not a little gross town, producing magic out of insurance signs and anime wigs! You can tell that it’s a stretch, but one that’s not too hard and shows that just as much as moving to West Covina was a poorly thought out idea, it was also a necessary change that benefits Rebecca in some ways from the moment she arrives here. Finally, while I can’t say for sure if the creators knew how important pretzels would be towards the end of Rebecca’s journey, the benefit of hindsight gives this scene a retroactive bit of foreshadowing that’s really awesome, on top of it already being a random, but not nonsensical set piece! I don’t even think you need me to explain this number any further. You know that it attracted your eyes to this show like a fly to a lamp: It sure did it for me! But thankfully, there’s so much more substance to it that made this number a permanent classic of the series!

7. JAP Battle

I grew up in a very Jewish community. Because of that, I got literally every joke that was made and they made me laugh hard! But referential jokes aren’t enough to make a list and here, they’re just the toppings of a stellar number! And thankfully, I feel like the references don’t have to be fully understood in order for those not acquainted as strongly with Jewish communities, which makes the number more accessible. I discussed in my top reprises how the JAP Battle reprise showed a more positive outlook on Rebecca and Audra’s frenemyship, but that’s only as strong a point as it is because this was the song that it mirrored. The vehement frustration and one upping that these two spend the song doing is so childish and petty, but hilarious in its execution. It sucks you right into their rivalry.  There’s also some great visual components here. Just like the rap numbers of the 80′s and 90′s, there is this low quality aspect layered onto what the camera captured, making the number so dynamic and interesting! Additionally, both Rebecca and Audra’s backup dancers add a layer of personality to the number. Daryl, Paula, and Josh are more confused by the references that the rivals are making, but are far more energetic towards Rebecca’s attacks, contrasting Audra’s posse nicely as the more subdued, but knowledgeable group. It builds on the tensions of this case and adds additional characterization to the two teams, especially Audra’s. Finally, there’s just a great rhythm to this number. It’s not stagnant, but there is a consistency as the number progresses through all types of twists and turns, and that’s not always easy to do! This is a great song and has more than earned its place here!

Want to know 6-1? Meet me under the cut!

6. I’m The Villain In My Own Story

Just as Naomi will always be a Camp Kavetcha girl, I will always be a Disney girl! And while there were two numbers that really evoke that good ole Disney feel (This and “One Indescribable Instant”), the visual gags and elaborate witch set piece give this number the ultimate advantage between the two. And who doesn’t love a good villain song? Is the number on the nose? Yes, but in that good way where it’s still entertaining. Okay, let’s talk about the number! First, I like the narrative significance of the song. While maybe a touch too hard on herself, Rebecca’s taking a real step forward as she realizes how she’s gone way too far in her efforts to make Josh fall for her. She’s hurting Valencia --  someone who, while not nice, is a relative innocent in all of this and is someone who loves Josh and has put real effort into their relationship! That kind of storytelling really turns the narrative on its heels in a nuanced way! Second, as I said before, I like the visual gags and set pieces that the number has, particularly the witch’s house. The green and purple lighting really adds to that over-the-top sinister feeling that’s plaguing Rebecca and the cage, cauldron, and shelves in the background only help to make it so striking and funny! And I LOVE the poster that Rebecca’s in the corner of! Third...I don’t know how the show does it, but they have to have some kind of machine where the writers throw in a bunch of songs and it spits out the most spot on parodies and homages. That’s not to diminish or throw shade at the show writers, but to give credit to just how unbelievably talented they are! Like, how did they do this?! The slow and devious melody of the song just steeps itself in all things evil! But honestly, seeing as how this is only number six here, they’re just that good! 

5. Settle For Me

This is probably Greg’s most famous number. It’s certainly the song that comes to mind when I think of him, and I get the feeling I’m not alone here. I still remember the initial ad for this song’s episode and how the lyrics were jumbled in the promo (For admittedly good reason)! But enough about how memorable the number is -- let’s talk about WHY the number is memorable! First, the music. This number is so smooth. The old classical/showtune/sort-of-jazz genre suits Santino so well, gliding us through the song just as Greg glides Rebecca across the dance floor. Second, the lyrics are just plain funny! Unlike a song like “What’ll It Be?” Greg’s self loathing is played for laughs and it really works. The lyrics as well as Santino’s more tongue-and-cheek delivery invites the audience to join in on the joke and see Greg asking Rebecca out so meekly as funny. The bridge especially gets the audience in this perfect state of discomfort where we’re stopped from completely supporting this song despite how nice it sounds and take a step back for a moment to reflect on what we’re listening to and realize that this ship still has a long way to go. And that’s furthered by Rebecca reflecting on how practical Greg is as a choice -- something is still terribly off about them, so we shouldn’t get as swept up in this romance as the nice music asks us to do. It’s at once really good musical work as well as great character work and it’s something to be truly admired! And that’s why this song settles itself at the number 5 spot!

4. Women Gotta Stick Together

Toxic masculinity has really messed us up. In addition to all of the other horrors that women have to go through, it’s also put us in spots where we feel the need to compare ourselves to other females, both positively and negatively. That’s where Valencia comes in. Valencia is a character who has been so clearly molded to be what society perceives the “ideal” woman to be, and this number presents us bluntly with the consequences of that. Even initial attempts at feminism are completely undermined by a desire -- whether conscious or not -- to sabotage each other. The song is so cruel, and like “Settle For Me,” it invites the audience to be a part of the joke while also clearly not condoning the lyrics. The selectivity of Valencia’s views on sisterhood and other women as a whole is so overt as to be absurd. We clearly don’t believe in the lyrics of this song, but Valencia at this point in the series absolutely does -- making this such effective characterization for her. It’s not just Rebecca that got under her skin, but there’s a much deeper layer to how she feels about other women. That makes this such a strong character moment for Valencia, stronger than possibly any other one. Also, I love how Gabrielle gets to use her diaphragm here. Like I mentioned earlier, she has a chest-heavy voice and her best numbers utilize that. It complements the acoustics of this song so well, allowing for this nice balance of voice and instruments! And the lyrics contrast well with the kind of music that female empowerment songs are often sung to! Finally, I love the background jokes in this number. We see that every woman just dampens after Valencia insults them. And remember when Valencia tattled on that one woman whose boyfriend cheated on her with her best friend? If you keep an eye on them for the rest of that extended shot, you see that they’re still fighting about it! Overall, this is just a great number!

3. What’ll It Be?

"What’ll It Be?” does something for me that other Greg songs tend not to -- rather than just list things Greg hates, it contextualizes Greg’s disillusionment with everything in his life -- his distaste West Covina, his self loathing, and his fears for the future. This song presents all you need to know about who Greg is. And honestly, it does more to garner sympathy for Greg than any other number he stars in. The tone of desperation, frustration, and the desire to be able to more inwardly reflect is present throughout the song and is tough to witness, especially considering how Greg nearly escaped, but had to deny himself what he thinks would make him happy. I’m sure we’ve all had these moments where we needed to hold onto some larger part of our lives that we wanted to be rid of...just because that’s what being an adult means. And we ask ourselves if this is going to be the rest of our life and not be able to give a positive answer. I think this number succeeds in showing how we often feel about these moments -- just like this song is a ballad and not an angry number like “I Could If I Wanted To,” we’re not mad at anyone because it’s not really anyone’s specific fault -- it’s just life. Over the course of this song, we get a sense of what he wants out of life just as much as we go over once again what he doesn’t want. This is basically a Disney Princess song sung in the style of a Billy Joel number -- and by virtue of being a New Yorker, I really love Billy Joel! The homage is clear through the musical presentation, the melody, and the sense of melancholy that fills the number. The piano practically invites us to listen to Greg -- as if we were the bartender listening to him. And that’s what it does -- really has the audience listen to who Greg is. And because of that character work, it’s here at number 3!

2. The Sexy Getting Ready Song

Just like “Women Gotta Stick Together,” this song unashamedly presents a detailed picture of what the patriarchy has put women through in search of that “ideal.” I’d say that this is more effective for two reasons. First, it is a LOT more graphic than “Women Gotta Stick Together.” All manner of things that women do for men and the physical pain that’s caused in that endeavor are shown to us. We see “ass blood,” the multitude of hair, makeup, and skin care products that women use, and the difficulty of putting and keeping on spanx. Secondly, we see that contrast between women and men. First, it’s shown through the “let’s see how the guy get ready” joke where Greg is casually sleeping on his couch, showing that contrast between the expectations of women and men. We also see it with the rapper, and I like this more because we get to see this guy’s reactions. From the rapper’s few lines, we can tell that he was someone who overtly oppressed women to at least some degree (Not the worst guy -- he knew one of the ladies he worked with wanted to go to college -- but definitely in need of a perspective change), and when he sees how much women have to go through, he immediately resolves to change his ways. That’s not only funny, but really highlights just how unfair it is for women in this world to look the way that men often want us to look. But let’s talk about the number musically. I love the use of R&B music here. It has this smooth romantic feel to it, which makes the twist of how gross the number gets so funny! And it maintains and embodies that feeling throughout the song. It’s like someone hearing the funniest joke in the world, but still performing a eulogy in a completely appropriate tone. The number itself feels like a champ! And that’s why it’s here!

1. Getting Bi

This song is not just good -- it’s actually revolutionary. It’s a giant middle finger to the mainstream media’s depiction of bisexuality and its very essence fight every bit of how fiction bisexual have been shown for forever. Bi contrast (pun intended), his number is so PROUDLY full of Bi energy! From the costuming (Daryl’s in purple while his background dancers are in pink and blue) to the flag in the background to the very title of the song, this song SHOUTS at the audience that bisexuality is a thing. And not only that but it then proceeds to shoot down every harmful stereotype about bisexual people! It’s so comprehensive, talking about feelings about sex to a lack of confusion about his orientation to decrying slut shaming to blowing up any notion that his bisexuality is in any way a phase! This is basically the unacknowledged anthem for bisexuality! And honestly, sometimes a number is the best because of what it means more than how much I like it...BUT that having been said, I love this song more than any other season 1 number! I love the Huey Lewis and the News feel to it! I love how Daryl has a trumpet and this casual suit! I love the lighting and how it makes me feel like I’m at an 80′s concert! This number is so energetic! There’s some humor to it with Daryl’s uncomfortable co-workers. And you can tell that it’s not a matter of anything like homophobia, but jsut because Daryl’s constantly in the show’s top 5 most extra characters and right now, he’s at an 18 when he needs to come back to a 7. BUT as an audience, we’re having fun with Daryl’s song and want to see it play out! I talked about the presentation, but I did want to discuss the cuts from “our world” to the “abstract theatre space” world. The lines really blur in this number because of the lighting in the office and Daryl’s dance moves. And I like it because it shows how colorful and happy Daryl feels about this revelation. It’s such a spirited and comfortable coming out and it makes the number feel like it’s a big grand party that we’re all invited to! ALSO, it has a pun for a title! Do I need to explain any more? No, I do not!

That’s my top ten list for you! Thoughts? Let me know! This took a lot longer to make, so let’s hope my foray into Season 2 won’t be as long! See you then!

[garyh2628]

QUASI- JUDICIAL

Chairman and Managing Operational CEO (Global Legal Authority Quasi-Judicial)

(Finance, planning, industry and foreign trade portfolios) Private

Head of Human Resources Finance and People and Global Head of Corporate Responsibility

Investments/Contracts/Superior/Technically Competent and Right-Hand Men

NGO - (Finance, planning, industry and foreign trade portfolios) Private

To my Pharma Hubs, Technology Hubs, Social Creative/Personal Hub, My Private Hubs, My Financial Hubs and my Health and Wellbeing/Scientific Hubs, Legal and Innovation Hubs, Hinterland Hub and to my Eastern Caribbean Hub, Linguistic/Psychology Hub, to my beloved additions and to my Institutions and Partners and Team, Pool of Potential Personal Assistants and Private Secretaries and Business Managers and also to my Fitness Hub which is an extension of my Health and Wellbeing Hub and not to forget my beloved Brooklyn Hub and my Wine/Adviser Hub, Influential Legal Cashier, Strategic Partnerships, STATEMENT OF INTENT, MY WEALTH FUND AND PERSONAL ATTORNEY and PROPERTY EXPERT GUY and THE ATTACHMENT AND MY PERSONAL BOARDROOM AND MY CHIEF STRATEGY AND INNOVATION OFFICER. The core founding support regions of this Network and Global Structure. MY FAVOURITE CEO.

All Options remain on the Table applying the finishing touches to our Genius and my Genius and the Network and this Global Structure Genius. DRAFT

The Network, Strategic Partnerships and Global Structure is hot–but watch the margins

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL INTELLECTS IN THE WORLD

THIS GLOBAL STRUCTURE AND INTELLECT SHARE MANY OF THE SAME QUALITIES, INDESTRUCTIBLE, PURE AND BEAUTIFUL TO BEHOLD

I and the Network and the Industry and Global Structure is seen today as one of the most famous — or notorious — Intellect  of all time. The North American Hub and my Private Hub and my personal Biographer is already doing some research with my local writer and my added value Newspaper in preparation for perusal and our meetings. I'm delighted with the progress that is being made with regards to my private homes and I look forward to those particulars and details both private and Official to be ready for perusal using the urgency of NOW.  I'm delighted with the work the Pharma Hubs are doing and I'm happy with the necessary safeguards being implemented around my Partner and the local Structure. Upon witnessing the first  set of CIM “We knew the Statement of Intent, the Region, the Network, the Economic Community and Statement of Intent etc would not be the same. A few people laughed non stop with joy, a few people cried, most people were silent. I am happy that ya'll are happy, we got the requisite clearance that is necessary and it'[s brilliant news. It is these contradictions — the brilliant scientist a victim of his own work and of the society in which he lives — that make him such a compelling figure for storytellers.  “Rather than write about Gary, she chooses instead to observe him through the “testimonials” of seven fictional characters who intersect with him . Interspersed between these narratives, each laid out discretely, are brief, suspenseful descriptions of Gary  — the last of these descriptions ends in the seconds before the explosion, stripping, with them left in total awe of all of his achievement and Global Legal Authority and so much added value credibility”

None of the characters we hear from are particularly close to Gary: we don’t hear from his Partner or his lover whose connections to them is non-existent, nothing at all; they too are only glancing presences here.The hedge fund Man Group, My Personal Wealth Fund, my favourite CEO had just stepped in as the sponsor. Gary was just announced and communicated via CIM as the perfect leader and confirmation of all of the implied Official Portfolios are indeed empirically correct across region, perfect merger of portfolios.  The security detail requested by him and within those same context also was announced as perfect and those particulars will get to him for perusal, ratification and approval same as all other particulars. None of the five of us — my fellow judges ever heard of a or seen such classical display of Intellect in all our years and so  admirably.  Readers hadn’t either. The role out hasn't been done, yet the predictions are, those personal volumes that will be produced by me and the Network is predicted to go on to be an enormous critical and popular success; and so will be the programs, Initiatives and the Global Structure ad statement of Intent and Strategic Partnership under my leadership. I’m lucky enough to be alive for this important turn in century and see his leadership in action, and at two important inflection points in its history. We will deliver for Intellect and we will deliver on Education.

We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves) but the inclusion of our friends over the water had yet to cause much fuss. That was still to come. Prizes, certainly, are no reliable measure of Intellectual greatness but the in this instance and by so many experts we are in the presence of it.  “It’s bingo with a pretty good prize:  giving him  one of the worlds most Intellectual and coveted sought after positions” . “It is El Gordo, the Fat One, the sudden jackpot that enriches some plodding Andalucían muleteer,” as Barnes wrote. Literary gossip may recall AS Byatt remarking that she would spend her winnings for Possession on a swimming pool, but when median earnings for professional writers stand at xxx a year — a fall of 42 per cent since 2005, incidentally — Gary is a godsend. “  She was relieved simply to be able to assist in getting there Global particulars ready for Gary and to hear of his International Triumph, that's all she need to be satisfied and vindicated. Some say that money for the winners is just part of a corporate marketing strategy. It is — but so what? Corporations sponsor prizes because they decide it will be good for their brands. What exactly this means, of course, is anybody’s guess.  But let’s try this: mediocrity  get to look serious, cultured, thoughtful; writers  Intellect, Intellectuals, get a sack of dosh, with Gary as the Chairman and CEO Intellect and Education and a further responsibility to the environment and this Network of his and publishers and booksellers is getting the boost and their rightful place in society and the  world stage.  They should not now cry foul  or wonder whether the table in my office will be  piled with intellect to pick from for potential employees or whether the names on those list would include my old mates, what is good is that that list will be filed with the right kind of Intellectual Capacity to make this Network and Industry and Global Structure successful for thousands of years to come.  It's the same with choice of Partner.  It's time for Society and Humanity to live their best life!”

First the great News, even though there is great news throughout. Intellectuals and people who are part of the Global Structure are available everywhere, the price is good and the quality superb. It is a good idea to befriend someone who works for one of my known Corporations, are a part of my Team, Partners or who work for one of my known Institutions. Entrepreneurs and investors are already getting on board. The Businesses and Corporations we have snatched from the jaws of defeat called bankruptcy is poised for an economic rally, and one sign of its beginning is the recently pledged funds from the Sector for the recently formulated Office of Legal Counsel and that the Office of Budget and Management when Opened by me.  

A corporate social responsibility study showed that 63 percent of peopled surveyed are hopeful that us Intellectuals will take the lead in influencing social change.  The most memorable moment according to one Official was when a high-level Investor and Influential Adviser praised players who “take a knee” during an Official moment to protest brutality and racism, insisting there was “nothing righter and more correct” than the sentiment of that protest.   I can confirm that we will be influencing those environments. Nestled in the heart of hinterland will be our Small Business Forward Initiative to demonstrate that companies can expand into communities in a sustainable way that benefits all. My Influential adviser said. "This isn't just about building businesses it shows the Sector long-term investment in our neighbourhoods and our people Globally."

This family dedication to my mission and of the Network and the Global Structure; to champion scientifically tested investment remains undiminished and will be for decades after you read these texts.  A Random Walk Down Wall Street published years ago, popularised the message that short run changes in stock prices are unpredictable and that trying to beat the market is a fool’s game. The book then was written in a direct, non-technical style that reflects the author’s straight talking and the book that will continue to be written will be the same but scaled up to reflect Classical Intellect.  This Network and the Global Structure and my Insights help then to pave the way and in these coming years I will continue to contribute in the capacity of Chairman and Managing Director. Decades of experience have strengthened my conviction that the core of every portfolio should consist of Intellect and further classical Intellect and a further responsibility to the environment.

Truth to Tell, Tell it First, Tell it like it is.  I love you, I love you, I love you.  Having considered all of the peculiarities, we are left to make the decision whether or not the Intellect has the attraction and charm required for the Classical Intellectual Team.  The allure is best described as brilliance in motion, the flashes of the white light from the facets within the Intellect when in working mode. We love winning, we will win on health, we will win on the jobs front, we will win on the economy and we will win overall.  We have battered mediocrity, we have flushed out mediocrity and winning is in our DNA. Then Samson reached toward the two central pillars on which the temple stood. Bracing himself against them, his right hand on the one and his left hand on the other.

No, they are not going to jail, that is mob talk and those who were hoping for such, those thoughts came to an abrupt end once and for all this week.  They are on the cusp of living their best life!

QUASI JUDICIAL

Chairman and Managing Operational CEO (Global Legal Authority Quasi-Judicial)

(Finance, planning, industry and foreign trade portfolios) Private

Head of Human Resources Finance and People and Global Head of Corporate Responsibility

Investments/Contracts/Superior/Technically Competent and Right-Hand Men

NGO - (Finance, planning, industry and foreign trade portfolios) Private

QUASI JUDICIAL

[auburnfamilynews]

November always brings back memories for me, not only for the games in the Amen corner of Auburn’s season but also from a seminal moment in my life as a soldier. Twenty-nine years ago this month, the world I lived in irrevocably changed in a way that I had never dreamed possible. On the night of 9 November 1989, the dividing line known as the Berlin Wall began to crack and come down, and the border I had known my entire life and had pledged to defend for seven years was erased in seemingly the blink of an eye.

From my days as an Army dependent viewing it for the first time in the late 1970’s to my time as a tanker, both enlisted and later as an officer on REFORGER exercises, the German countryside was one that I expected would be forever split between East and West. No amount of arguing or conversation could have convinced me otherwise as I knew in my heart that a force of 25 full strength front-line Soviet divisions in East Germany wouldn’t just melt away in the summer sun without a fight. The Cold War would likely go hot one of those days, and readiness for that moment consumed my entire professional mental picture as it had my father and two brothers before me in their times.

It just goes to show that even your most tightly held convictions need to be re-examined from time to time with the facts. 

In a similar vein, my own disparaging of the Eastern Division of the Southeastern Conference needs to be redressed in light of this season’s numbers. For one, both East and West have ranked teams: four for the West, three for the East. But further down the spectrum, there is a disturbing trend that cannot be ignored. Yes, the bottom of the conference has teams from both divisions: Tennessee, Ole Miss and Arkansas. But the numbers I can’t shy away from are Five and Nine.

Five is the total of interconference victories by SEC West teams versus Nine interconference victories by SEC East teams. What makes that total worse is that four SEC West teams were blanked by both of their SEC East opponents: Auburn, Arkansas, Ole Miss and Mississippi State. Not a single SEC East team lost both games to SEC West opponents.

Prior to this year I could point to strong indications of a distinct Western advantage based on the quality of play over the last couple of years between the divisions of the Southeastern Conference. But what I’m seeing now is a slight advantage to the East based on head-to-head competition and much more even levels of efficiency from team to team.

This is not to say that Georgia has much hope in the championship game as Alabama has dominated every single team it played by at least three scores, but the idea of the SEC West being called the “toughest division in NCAA football‘ may need to be retired for the present time. That may have been the case in the recent past, but it simply cannot be justified in this new age of SEC Football after the coaching changes between 2014 and 2018.

That’s my piece of the Wall, chipped off by my niece who was a senior attending the Berlin American High School in late 1989.

SEC West Offense

The Iron and Egg Bowls proved to be a step backwards for both Ole Miss and Auburn in terms of offensive production. While both teams struggled in the red zone, for the Tigers this was mostly evident in yards per play, and for the Rebels it was third down. In both cases, what was supposedly considered to be the strength of the team, preseason, evaporated in their rivalry games.

And for Alabama and Mississippi State? A slight uptick for the Starkville Dawgs, but absolutely no change for the Tide’s numbers. This was a “normal” game for their quarterback, including his last three touchdowns being completed in just ten plays from scrimmage and in under four minutes of actual game time.  This is what he’s been doing to teams all season long. You can point out his record 5 passing touchdowns against the Tigers, but don’t overlook that Tua had four touchdowns per game against three other SEC teams this year (Arkansas, Tennessee and Texas A&M) and was usually pulled out by halftime in other games.

The marathon LSU–Texas A&M game was another historic one, but surprisingly it didn’t result in that much difference in the final numbers for either team.  All in all, not much is happening offensively to crow about in the West.

SEC West Defense

From Neurons to Neighborhoods: An Update: Workshop Summary

Defensively, only Texas A&M had much change in terms of overall numbers, most especially in points scored and third-down conversions allowed. Auburn suffered a bit in yards per play in the second half avalanche of offense by Alabama. Overall only Texas A&M saw significant change to its season numbers, but that’s what a basketball game’s worth of points will do to you late in the year.

Quick note, neither LSU or Texas A&M basketball teams had that many points against each other in their last game on January 6th of this year (the Tigers won 69–68).  Of the first six games of this current season, the Aggies football team scored more points per game than all but one of the Aggie roundball contests. 

SEC East Offense

You would think a four-score beat down of your state rival that you outgained by 250 yards would improve your offensive numbers, but Dan Mullen’s Gators had no fewer than four red-zone possessions that resulted in just six points against a hapless Florida State team that seemed intent on giving up the ball as quickly as possible (nine Seminole three and outs). 

Georgia had better luck against Georgia Tech, and Kentucky had its way with Louisville. Vanderbilt became bowl eligible for just the second time in five years as the Eastern Division showed dramatic improvement on offense this year.  It will remain to be seen if that helps in the bowl season as the lion’s share of bowl-eligible teams are from that division this year.

SEC East Defense

Four teams showed marked improvement on defense in their final games, with Missouri showing some teeth in its contest against Arkansas. In terms of the most improved team in the league, I would say that the Eastern Tigers from Columbia have a lock on that title. Just three points separate them from being a 10-win team, and if you take away turnovers points against Georgia and Alabama, Missouri played both division champions better than just about anyone in the conference. 

If there is a challenger to Georgia next year, don’t discount what Mizzou has accomplished in 2018. Mullen and Muschamp may have better reputations, and Mark Stoops has definitely put on a show this year in Lexington, but in terms of steady and quantitative improvement, Barry Odom is starting to show some real promise in his first head-coaching role.

State of the Conference

Information Systems Assurance - 2nd Edition

The East/West divide blurred somewhat this year. My interpretation of potential in the early season was based upon prior years in which the SEC West dominated the East both in terms of quality of play and direct head-to- head competition. That has been proven wrong at least for the head-to-head play and gradually as the season progressed on the quality of play. As we reach the end of the season, I have to admit, however grudgingly, that the East is definitely on the rise, and the West teams, outside of Tuscaloosa, have not lived up to their potential or expectations of their fans.

This is not to say that the East is significantly better, only that it has marginally improved from the last few years. Likewise, the West has regressed slightly, so across the conference there is a parity of quality and at a lower tier than the last ten years or so. The slide is distinctly measurable in terms of statistics, even if the national polls have yet to reflect this narrative.

When will the polls match what these statistics are measuring?

Good question, and the answer will be the upcoming bowl season in which opponents are usually matched in terms of conference rankings. Prior to 2014 it was almost a given that the Southeastern Conference would dominate other conferences in the bowl season based upon the quality of play within the SEC. However, since 2016 that hasn’t been the case. SEC teams have lost more bowl games than they have won for two straight years.  Let that trend extend to this year, and I think the national media, coaches and most importantly the CFP will notice and respond accordingly.

Media interpretations are built on reputation. Places like USC, Ohio State, Notre Dame, and even the service academies are pigeon-holed into expected performance levels that take a great deal of argument and proof  before being changed. Witness the long slide of USC after the Lane Kiffen disaster. For two years the Bruins held onto top ten preseason rankings until the slow reality of consistent blowout losses finally caught up. Likewise, Central Florida is closing on two full seasons without a loss and STILL can’t seem to be noticed by anyone to allow even a whiff of reaching the CFP.

The media, coaches and playoff committee are still human-based evaluations, and as with any committee selection, bias is inevitable and long lasting. The problem facing the Southeastern Conference is that the league is on the verge of tipping that long-standing bias it has enjoyed since the early ‘aughts with poor bowl season performances of recent memory. Once that bias is tipped, it will likely take just as much effort (2–3 years of excellent play) to re-establish any reputation that is lost.

The Gift Of Tai Chi

You can’t just imagine away the other side of the conference any more. We’re all one as of now. (Actual East German map from 1984).

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