#good grief what the hell
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Uhhhh i dont usually make fanart of my own fics but like uhhh here you go
#how the fuck do people have the patience to do comics#i was FIGHTING myself to finish this#good grief what the hell#im kinda nervous about posting this ngl i dont usually post such uh… passionate looking art publicly#the men are gay is what i am trying to say#mcsm#jesskas#my art#mcsm jesse#mcsm lukas#minecraft story mode#mcsm fanart
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so the good place is widely lauded on this site for its takes on morality and capitalism, which i totally agree with
but i think it should get more recognition for the line "all humans are aware of death. so we're all a little bit sad all the time. that's just the deal. we don't get offered any better ones. and if you try and ignore your sadness, it just ends up leaking out of you anyway. i've been there, and everybody's been there. so don't fight it. in the words of a very wise bed bath and beyond employee i once knew - go ahead and cry all you want. but you're gonna have to pay for that toilet plunger."
#i dunno i've been thinking about grief lately#and i think the nature of humanity is everyone's grieving something#it might not always be as straightforward as the death of a loved one - sometimes it is#but sometimes you're grieving a life you never got to live#the person you used to be#hell an old toy you just realised you lost years ago and are never going to get back#we're all just a little bit sad all the time#and i think looking at the world like that makes it a lot more friendly place#because everyone is someone who needs a bit of comfort - or just someone to say hey its okay to be sad and angry and confused#and when you're finally ready to let whatever you're grieving go the world will be a happier place#and you'll find a new thing to grieve because there's always something to be a little bit sad about#but the world keeps getting better for every one you get through and every friend who helps you through it#and sometimes you just need to throw a dumb joke in there at the end#that's what it means to be human#the good place#tgp
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atwow hot take:
if jake had said his "son for a son" shit out loud and spider had heard him, he would have been so beyond pissed, he would be seeing red.
spider loved his little siblings so much, neteyam included, even after they grew apart. he loved them like they were his own blood and protected them like they were too (we see a lot more of them together in the comics, where spider is the big brother without a doubt). neteyam's death most certainly rocked him hard, even if he hasn't really been able to show it (how could he? he's already going through all the shit with his dad and the RDA and their nonsense, he can't grieve around neytiri, he's just so tired after it all. he doesn't have the room or the energy to grieve yet)
so if jake had the audacity to say that to/around spider not even a few hours after he watched his little brother get shot after coming to save him, after he stared at the bullet hole in his back, after he watched him take his last breaths, after he watched the light leave his eyes, after he watched his little brother die for him; if he said that while his little brother's body lay in a pool of his own blood not even ten feet away, not even cold yet, blood still clinging to his chest, the scent of it still filling the air: he would have lost his shit.
because the disrespect for his brother is wild.
jake was an active player in spider's neglect and abuse for the last 16 years, he let it happen, he helped it happen. he tried to send spider with the humans, tried to take him away from his siblings, from the forests, from eywa to live with his foster family that didn't love him (not to mention Nash was an asswipe of epic proportions) and the RDA of all people. he had referred to spider as a stray animal since he was little. he was the reason spiders life was hell.
and after all that, years and years of putting him in shit positions and allowing him to suffer the fate of being forever unloved and uncared for (by an adult authority figure, cause I love the kids, but they don't make up for the gap left by a parent), this is what it took for jake to care about him? his little brother had to die in front of him first? he had to be traded out to fill the space of a corpse, to fill in the gap left by his little brother's death?
in canon, spider was in deep in shock with nothing to break him from it, he wasn't in the place to really think about any of it, and I'm sure we're gonna see this anger in the coming movies, but if jake had said it out loud, that would have been enough to snap spider right out of it, and he would have given jake a piece of his mind, I just know it.
#he loves neteyam too much to let jake do that. to say that. he'd never allow it.#spider is such a good big brother. he loves his siblings too much.#if jake had said that to his face there would have been hell to pay. regardless of how out of it spider was with shock/grief/pure exhaustio#spider doesn't even care about the disrespect being done to him by that statement. he just cares about neteyam.#cause how could a father say that? how could he just move on. fill the gap with a “stray” as he puts it. take him in after all he'd done to#him? it wasn't fair#it wasn't fair to him and it most certainly wasn't fair to neteyam#I love spider. he deserves a family that loves him and wants him. he wants it. but this is not what either of us asked for.#that line has always rubbed me wrong. and it would have rubbed spi wrong too. I just know it.#I really hope we see spider express his rightful anger/disgust to this whole thing next movie#though I worry he will be too busy feeling guilty over everything and feeling like he just has to be grateful. but one can hope.#he deserves to be angry#and his dynamic with neteyam deserves to be explored. cause its a crime that it was ignored in the movie.#avatar 2#avatar the way of water#spider socorro#miles spider socorro#miles socorro#neteyam#neteyam sully#neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan#jake sully#I wanna punch that man so hard istg. I can't with him. I won't say I hate him. but lord have mercy I can't with him.#my baby boys deserved better#spider was neteyam's big brother. that's my agenda#we need to talk about them more
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I’ve mentioned this elsewhere but it feels relevant again in light of the most recent episode. Something that’s really fascinating to me about Orym’s grief in comparison to the rest of the hells’ grief is that his is the youngest/most fresh and because of that tends to be the most volatile when it is triggered (aside from FCG, who was two and obviously The Most volatile when triggered.)
As in: prior to the attack on Zephrah, Orym was leading a normal, happy, casual life! with family who loved him and still do! Grief was something that was inflicted upon him via Ludinus’ machinations, whereas with characters like Imogen or Ashton, grief has been the background tapestry of their entire lives. And I think that shows in how the rest of them are largely able to, if not see past completely (Imogen/Laudna/Chetney) then at least temper/direct their vitriol or grief (Ashton/Fearne/Chetney again) to where it is most effective. (There is a glaring reason, for example, that Imogen scolded Orym for the way he reacted to Liliana and not Ashton. Because Ashton’s anger was directed in a way that was ultimately protective of Imogen—most effective—and Orym’s was founded solely in his personal grief.)
He wants Imogen to have her mom and he wants Lilliana to be salvageable for Imogen because he loves Imogen. But his love for the people in his present actively and consistently tend to conflict with the love he has for the people in his past. They are in a constant battle and Orym—he cannot fathom losing either of them.
(Or, to that point, recognize that allowing empathy to take root in him for the enemy isn't losing one of them.)
It is deeply poignant, then, that Orym’s grief is symbolized by both a sword and shield. It is something he wields as a blade when he feels his philosophy being threatened by certain conversational threads (as he believes it is one of the only things he has left of Will and Derrig, and is therefore desperately clinging onto with both bloody hands even if it makes him, occasionally, a hypocrite), but also something he can use in defense of the people he presently loves—if that provocative, blade-grief side of him does not push them—or himself—away first.
(it won’t—he is as loved by the hells as he loves them. he just needs to—as laudna so beautifully said—say and hear it more often.)
#critical role#cr spoilers#bells hells#orym of the air ashari#cr meta#imogen temult#ashton greymoore#liliana temult#this is genuinely completely written in good faith as someone who loves orym#but is also about orym and so will inevitably end up being completely misconstrued and made into discourse. alas#I could talk about how Orym’s unwillingness to allow the hells to actually finish/come to a solid conclusion on Philosophy Talk#is directly connected to one of the largest criticisms of c3 (that they are constantly having these conversations)#all day. alas. engaging with orym’s flaws tends to make people upset#it is ESP prevelant when he walks off after exclaiming ‘they (vangaurd) are NOT right’#which was not only never said but wasn’t even what they were talking about#he even admits as much to imogen like ten minutes later! that he is incapable of viewing it objectively#which is 100% justifiable and understandable but simultaneously does not make his grief alone the most important perspective in the world#also bc i fear ppl will play semantics on my tags yes the line ‘i hope she’s right’ was said but it was from ASHTON#who does not believe they are at all and wasn’t saying they actively WERE right. orym just heard something to latch onto and ran with it#ultimately there is a reason orym only admitted that he was struggling when he had stepped away to talk to dorian#who has not been around and thusly has not changed once n orym's eyes#and it isn't that the hells never check in or care. they do. they have several times over#it is dishonest to say they haven't#the actual reason is that all of this is something He Is Aware Of. he doesn't mention it bc he KNOWS it's hypocritical and selfish#he says as much!#EXHALES. @ MY OWN BRAIN CAN WE THINK ABT MOG AGAIN. FYRA RAI EVEN. FOR ME.#posting this literally at 8 in the morning so I can get my thoughts out of my brain but also attempt to immediately make this post invisibl
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What if I WROTE. WHAT IF I DID. WHAT WONDERS WOULD FALL UPON THE WORLD.
#not writing disease is very distinct from the stages of grief and the stage I'm in is called#'ready to fight god with my bare hands and win the moment i have some GODDAMN TIME'#this is also cuz I'm very slowly rereading the tiefling fic and like. godDAMMIT. i am a GOOD FUCKING WRITER. what the HELL.#it's not even writers BLOCK cuz I've got the ideas i just don't have enough sustained time to organize them neatly#which my brain does require for sticking with a project
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Voted for Bumble bc of course but also if you think Alex would not pspsps Bumble you are wrong. If they could communicate they would go to therapy together /s
If then could communicate they would go to therapy together
/GEN
Kyle/Green Lantern resurrects her but then he becomes convinced that she's not the same person she was before the incident, OR SOMETHING SOMETHING Black Lanterns aren't ACTUALLY bad they're just misunderstood Grim Reaper types, in either case Alex ends up breaking it off with Kyle because they've become very different people.
And then Bumble's there
And then they go to therapy or Alex adopts Bumble, and then uhhh Bumble's like one of the superpets. Like Krypto the Superdog. Free premise go forth and play with it if ur a DC fan
#bone babble#Again I don't actually know a lot about the DC universe besides what my friend tells me#But also from reading into the Black Lanterns having them be evil sound like a WHOLE wasted opportunity#Lanterns are supposed to be emotions yeah? so why the hell are we downplaying the emotion of GRIEF?#There's a whole lot you could do with that actually. Death doesn't deserve to just be a villain of the week#And hell. You could explore some WILD emotions here about Alex becoming so much more than Kyle's tragedy#Can I still mourn you when you aren't dead?#What does it mean for me that the worst thing that ever happened to me has become an opportunity for her?#And... does this make me selfish for not being happy for her?#For not trying to understand the person she has become? for only thinking of how this impacts myself#RE: THIS IS NOT A DIG AT DC FANS#BUT I want to share that like... a reason I've kinda had a hard time getting into comics is because like... really interesting premises--#like that often get turned into Monster-of-the-Week struggles for the heroes to punch into submission#I've probably just seen really bad summaries or not found the editions that would appeal to me specifically#But it's kinda why the only DC hero I'm really interested in is Superman#Because a lot of his thing is that he's a good GUY#And that creates a lot of interesting moral questions#Like YES he's a good guy. YES he has no ulterior motive. But what if he DID?-- how can EVERYONE ELSE in the universe truly know that-#for sure?#And that's cool and I really like the snippets I've seen especially between him and batman#But anyway. so much fridging and misogyny in the world of comics has kinda turned me away from getting into it#because. VERY often. Misogyny can be... *tied* to a bit of a lack of imagination. Or empathy on behalf of a particular writer#RE: There is good stuff in DC PLEASE understand im not trying to be insulting
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every other video on my for you page is a creator begging people to donate to palestinian families. creators from all sorts of communities are volunteering to sponsor families, using their platforms to spread the word and focus attention. tiktok has problems but it has BY FAR been the loudest about palestine, despite the algorithms best efforts. THIS IS WHY THEY WANT TO BAN IT. because like it or not, tiktok gets information out quickly.
#it’s such an odd feeling#every video i see is a big creator advocating for a family#or personal tiktoks from palestinians themselves.#whats trending is the met gala but every comment is ALL EYES ON RAFAH#yes tiktok is censorship hell but that’s BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE SPEAKING OUT. AND ITS MORE THREATENING TO THE GOV THAN THOSE OF US HERE#i have this odd sense of pride mixed with grief mixed with rage.#people care. people are good and want to help#but they shouldn’t have to in the first place#and our government hates this kindness so much they want to shut it up#gaza#free palestine#palestine#all eyes on rafah#tiktok ban
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Considering the. Ahem. Ways this year has gone, I've not been thinking about it all that much, but. I did start this year with the motto of Year Of Unfucking My Life. With a few goals involved in that.
I got an official adhd diagnosis, as well as a diagnosis for PCOS. Other diagnoses in progress. Gotten adhd meds and birth control to regulate periods. I've gone back to school and I'm keeping up with it better than ever before. I've even been working on practicing driving, something I've been largely neglecting since I first got my driving permit, um... 11 years ago...
I just need to actually Get my license. And I need to get it before the end of the year. If I can accomplish that, then I'll say the Year Of Unfucking My Life was successful.
#speculation nation#i had some pretty major negative And positive influences for this goal of mine.#primary negative influence of course being my dad abruptly dying.#but that also led to the primary positive influence of the life insurance payout that's letting me just focus on school for my final year.#it's like a monkey's paw curl kind of moment. i got a genuinely astounding amount of money#more than enough to live off for a year+ and pay off the rest of my schooling.#with this i have finally exited the purgatory of part time school full time work to pay my way through school#a setup that led to endless stress (both physically and mentally) and suffering grades.#failing some classes and taking longer bc part time Anyways. locking me into years and years of this perpetual fucking Hell.#ive escaped it. school is so so so much more manageable when i dont have to work a job. im actually keeping up with my assignments.#for once theres no uncertainty about passing any of my classes. i Will pass them all. and i expect As in most if not all of them.#it's been fucking Amazing. everything i couldve wanted. and it came with the low low cost of losing my father when i was only 26.#... 'low' being sarcastic here of course. he was the 2nd worst person i couldve lost in my life. second only to my sister.#the 2nd worst grief i will Ever experience. bc he was my Good parent. hes the very reason i have a future at All.#and losing him fucked me up Severely. im still working on recovering. i kind of figure i always Will be.#thank god id already been taking spring semester off bc that would've been Horrible to go thru while in school.#i honestly probably would've just withdrawn from the semester. theres no Way id have kept up with it#given how damned BUSY those first few weeks after were. between funeral prep and inventorying and packing up his house.#so fucking much involved in settling an estate. and im the lucky one in that my sister's been handling all the legal shit.#so i simultaneously was dealt one of the most severe blows i ever Will be dealt#while also being given probably the biggest boost i'll ever get in my life.#if everything goes well with graduating and getting an IT job then i'll never want for money again.#considering there was a time early last year when i got as low as literally $7 in my bank account. this is a pretty big deal.#it's just... strange. the ways things go in life. this has been a very strange year for me.#just doing my best to use this boost to the best of my ability. even if it feels like im taking advantage of his death.#it's what he wouldve wanted me to do.
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roleplay idea: barton's trying to say this BS that he's 'good at processing grief' when your muse was a witness to the absolute rage-filled and deranged rampage that barton went on after julien was killed by the joker in which he brutally hurt all but one of his henchmen (he killed the last one because he told him he was 'crazy' and that he 'better kill him, or he was going to tell his boss that barton had been there' and he literally just snapped, went 'you know what, i think i will kill you AND also let the joker know i killed you so he knows to never come near my family again' then killed him. like HUHHH?) at the time with your muse being like this
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#ooc post.#yeahhh 💀 man i wish i was joking about this you all but he really did put like three men in the hospital and killed one of them so...#he is NOT good at processing grief at all SKSKS and yeah the fact that they chose to ally themselves with the joker probably does say-#something about their own character but i don't condone violence or murder so it's still wrong even if they were... terrible 🫠#no but barton was honestly looking for someone else to blame besides himself for julien's death so he basically went to all of these-#henchmen and grilled them + asked them all whether they knew anything about how the joker was planning to kill his son#anddd when they all answered him with a 'no' was when thing's uhhh. Got violent 😬 like just imagine being one of barton's kids-#and mourning the loss of your brother in a normal albeit sad way on your own but then barton comes back home covered in blood-#+ it's obviously not his... like i don't even know if i'd want to ask him what the hell he just did because while barton is in mourning-#or grieving you do NOT want to be near him if you are the one that caused the death in question because you will get your-#shit rocked let me tell you ☠️ like the only reason why barton didn't kill the joker himself is BC he knew that that would attract-#batman's ire like nothing else and he does NOT want that smoke as much as barton hates him LMAO but DC muses... just to let you know-#or really any type of muse that interacts with him but those who are close to him in particular i would not touch a hair on any of his#family members head unless you want to have someone after you + i swear i'm not saying that to be edgy or anything BC ever since i#first mentioned that barton is always this 🤏 close to going off of the deep end even more than he already is i was not joking at all ASDFGH#tw: mentions of violence#tw: mentions of murder#tw: mentions of child death
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love season 2. i'm concussions! and i'm psychic visions! the headache brothers
#s2 might be my favorite full season hands down even though some of my favorite single episodes/emotional arcs come later#which is weird bc it also has a lot of stuff in it i DON'T like (the way gordon was handled. some annoying motws. et cetera)#but overall it's well paced entertaining has a great score as per usual for the early years . and balances intrigue with grief and fear#and they're SO headaches. the advil consumption in that household (carhold?) is in the double digits daily . ulcers forming as we speak#also croatoan is in this season! one of THE most dread-filled eps they ever did#plus of course what is & what should never be (goes without saying) all hell breaks loose part one last five minutes (goes WITHOUT saying)#etc etc#like you can tell there's a lot of gamble here but it's in a good way#um. the wizard van telepath. victor hi victor . sorry about these horrible boys . houses of the holy!! there's like zero complete misses#i think gabriel is annoying but the CONCEPT of his first episode was still great. don't love the early jodean dynamic but i like how it end#they spend a lot of time genuinely having to deal with The Law etc . the stuff that happens in this one more than even s1 sets the tone#for like everything that follows. for better or worse. the cycle of death/sacrifice/rebirth/sacrifice . the beginning of the religion angle#the expansion of the world (for a while anyway)#i'd go so far as to call it 'good television'#spn
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October 1st
dear diary,
I have accepted the fact that I am a woman first before anything else. It doesn't matter if I have a Bachelor's degree and I have something going on in my career, I am still a woman.
I don't hate being a woman. I hate that everyone sees me as one first. My beauty is mesmerizing and the way I carry myself carries the heaviest aura.
In a world where men value men and only the gays recognize that they like men. The do it for the attention for male validation and I am dying at the fact that I am the cheese in that mouse trap.
The power I feel when I tell a man to not talk to me as they catcall me is a power I never want to give up. I feel strong as a iron ton, but the fear comes from when the men bully me and could hurt me.
Men do not run my life, but they run other people's lives. The fact that a man has control over my mother's decisions.
I was not shown protection from my mother so I had to give it to myself.
I am a woman first. then a daughter. then a sister. then a thinker.
I am a woman first. then a bitch. then stuckup. then a single woman.
I am a woman first. then latina. then young. then a fantasy.
I am a woman first. then naive. then kind. then a mystery.
I am a woman first. then first-gen. then a daugher. then a sister. then brave. then my name. then my age. then my goals. then my actions.
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#i love you#poetry#grief poem#heartbreak poetry#spilled poem#spiritual poem#my poem#daily poem#love poetry#self poem#woman#womanhood#mature woman#beauty within#beautiful#beauttiful girls#mature beauty#first generation#tumblr girls#girlblogging#coquette girl#hell is a teenage girl#daddy's good girl#pinterest girl#this is what makes us girls#girlhood#cute#beauty#love#art
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So. Anyone else feeling a little unhinged rn?
#I've had to double my anti depressants#good news is that it's working#bad news is I still can't stay off social media#I saw another dead baby and this time just felt glad she didn't have to suffer this hell anymore#I have never wanted to believe in God more#I'm really glad they do#they believe their children are with God with all their hearts and I've started to imagine that's true too#holding onto their faith when I have none because otherwise I'd go insane#hyperfixating on Gaza for 6 wks while my hyperempathy went utterly haywire#has my brain dead convinced I'm Arab or something#I feel very stupid and guilty about it#like what right have I to claim this grief#and yet it's still easier to focus on than what's going on in my own country#ever since the protests fell apart last year and everything we had such hope for got flushed down the toilet#I just completely shut down#couldn't stand re-engaging with the world anymore#nearly ran out of reasons to keep going entirely this year#then when Gaza happened#I couldn't do anything but watch and learn and disseminate info like my life depended on it#just like with the SL protests#but it galvanized me the same way#I feel like it's breaking me down the same way too#I see all these massive protests and people chaining themselves and lying on the roads and getting thrown around by cops#I always felt that white and Western people could never truly feel our pain and it's amazing to see I was wrong#I feel so much love and awe and gratitude for them#but hope keeps getting dimmer and I'm slipping into despair again#exactly like with the SL protests#I don't want to go through all that betrayal and heartbreak and depression again#nobody that's directly impacted by this knows I exist and all the terrible pain I carry doesn't make a damn bit of difference#so I'm just spiralling alone in my head to no purpose lol
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counterfeit
#my art#tw eyestrain#cw eyestrain#incapable of picking normal colours for a four swords drawing#loz four swords#four swords manga#four swords#shadow link#bc hes the fovus#yall remember that post where i said id desogn my own fs links#this is the closest ur gettibg to actual designs UHM#lazy. lazy as hell#what i WILL say is shadow looks the closest to the 'original link'#and green of course but less so for him#slapping random effects onto my drawings so i sont have to actually draw a bg GO#why do i keep posting shit at 3 a.m. good grief
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If you guys are wondering why the hell im reblogging nicktoons unite and jimmytimmy, it's Athena P's fault
#very entertaining but FUCK#good grief what the hell happened to my life#it's been a full week since i started reading jimmytimmy fanfic btw 😭#victor rambles
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oh survivor!fawn we are really in it now
#gideon shut the hell up challenge#people keep saying they’re sorry for your loss. Your Loss. that is how they refer to your brothers. how they refer to you.#you have always been one of three. part of the pack. and that has always been fine but now you are alone and you are not You but your loss.#julia says sorry for your loss. ricardo says sorry for your loss. you yell that it should be their loss too. it is everyone’s loss.#they have lost your brothers and now they have lost you too. (fate works in funny ways you think)#at the funeral people offer apologies. offer you flowers. offer you baked goods and stories of how [your loss] saved them or their mom or#their dad’s uncle’s wife’s coworker’s daughter’s friend from childhood or someone else equally unimportant. someone alive.#[I’m sorry for your loss] they all say and you do not say thank you. there is no being thankful for [your loss].#[I’m sorry] says ricardo. you stop listening. [I’m sorry] says julia. you wonder if she said it to the man she punched.#you do not apologize back. you do not let it be [their loss]. it is yours. they have always been yours.#[I’m sorry] says chen . for river and cyrus. the first to use their names with you. to acknowledge them as your brothers. to make them more#than just the pieces of you that have been broken. and you thank him.#we like writing in tags sorry !!!! also at some point the original idea was that any parts of ‘I’m sorry for your loss’#would start distorting and then get blacked out to show like. when u hear smth so much and esp w grief that u just block it out#anyway. survivor!fawn but still factoring in that chen is not afraid to just. Say Things.#esp in v3 I think the ortegas would be even more cautious w fawn out of wanting to not upset them and meanwhile chen is like yeah I’m gonna#just straight up acknowledge ur brothers for u bc I can tell that’s what u need#we are also thinking abt v3!au and fawn being heartbreak but. that’s not for this post obvs#verse: you are the survivor; you carry the guilt
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I made about half a gallon(I drank some.) of Kool-Aid with milk instead of water. I didn’t feel like changing the water filter. It tasted pretty good ngl.
#what the hell have i done#cursed#cursed food#kool aid#milk kool aid#i regret everything#i regret nothing#good shit#why did i make this#i could have just not made kool aid#surprisingly good#why is it actually good???#going through the five stages of grief
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