#gonna go sleep for a few days now

[expelliarmus]

[b4kuch1n]

siren

[renatogpadilla]

Of Fear and Fireworks.

It was just supposed to be a standard patrol.

Nothing out of the ordinary, thought Lux, just to get the locals' minds at ease. Supposedly, there had been reports of a monster in these woods, something that took the unaware at night and left only mutilated corpses in its wake...

Lux wouldn't even have taken the job if she hadn't noticed the sightings were getting closer to Isha's neck of the woods. She'd enjoyed her friend's company too much to let some monster (If that's even what it was, it could have been just a rabid wolf!) get the drop on her. Or worse, give her a reason to run... Though Lux didn't think she would run anymore.

She'd taken two guards with her tonight, some of her brother's company, just in case. To look official! She'd have to learn their names after this... It didn't feel right to face the unknown with someone if you didn't even know how to call them other than "Soldier". Duty first, then she'd buy the boys a drink!

She'd also taken a little rucksack with her... Just in case she needed the staff she kept inside. She hoped she didn't... She wasn't sure how these two would react to being saved by a Mage, if it came to that. And she couldn't really swear them to secrecy, since they were har brother's men...

She REALLY hoped she didn't need the staff.

They reached the edge of the woods as night started falling. Lux thought to herself that maybe she could get rid of the guards after that drink... Pop over to Isha's hut and spend some time with her friend, tell her all about the monster she'd vanquish tonight! Yeah, she was looking forward to it now...!

So when they did their rounds around the area and almost struck midnight without coming across anything other than the occasional ominous crow, Lux started to feel the blues coming on.

"If this is just a mangy wolf," she thought to herself "I will light up this whole forest, secret be damned."

By the end of the night, Lux would wish it had just been a mangy wolf.

They were about to leave when one of the guards spotted something.

"Over here, my lady!"

Lux still wasn't used to that... 'Lady Lux' had a nice ring to it, sure, but the implications of that...

When she reached the soldier, she couldn't help but notice that there were more crows around than before. That didn't feel right...

"What is it?"

"Doesn't seem like something that should be here, does it?"

He pointed a torch towards a small clearing in front of them. There, with crows all over the trees, lit in such a way that the moon seemed like a spotlight, stood a squalid, raggedy scarecrow. It didn't seem too good at its job, considering its company...

"Was that there before?" Lux asked... She would have seen it, right? It was obvious!

"I'm pretty sure we would have-" The soldier started, but was cut off by a scream from the other side of the clearing. The voice of the other guard that had come with Lux. The older one. Screaming like he'd seen a ghost... And then sharply cut off.

The two didn't need to say anything. They just bolted to where the sound had come from.

Not a mangy wolf, then.

The crows had started cackling. Not cawing, mind you. Cackling. It sounded like laughter. The kind of laughter when somebody knows something you don't and is clearly enjoying your cluelessness... Lux was really starting to hate crows.

When they arrived at the source of the scream, they saw nothing. No monster, no guard... Not any indicator of a struggle of any kind.

Then something dripped unto Lux's hair... She checked what the liquid was. Red, sticking to her fingers. Blood. Fresh... The crows finally shut up.

She wished she hadn't looked up. She'd never forget what she saw.

Up in the trees, hung and with limbs twisted in directions limbs should never twist, bleeding out of a gaping hole in his mouth, was the missing soldier, massacred, dangled from a tree.

She had to resist the urge to throw up.

"Gods, no." The other soldier's voice came. "What the FUCK even does that?!"

"Stay vigilant. Whatever it is, it's not gone!"

"Yes, ma'am!"

Shield was up and sword was out... Brave little soldier, Lux thought...

"Do you see anything?"

"Nothing." He answered. "Though the laughter is getting on my nerves.

"What laugher? The crows are quiet."

"You don't hear it?" He said, clearly terrified. "But it's so loud! I hardly hear anything else! Wait! That voice..."

Lux was fighting every urge in her body not to light up. Her hand clutched the staff inside the rucksack.

"What voice? Soldier, what do you hear?"

"I just wanted to do right, mom..."

"What?"

He wasn't talking to Lux. A crow in one of the lower branches was looking at him, and he seemed in a trance, talking and crying like a scared little boy.

"I wanted to do right! They're Mages! They deserve what they got! They're not people!"

Before Lux could even process that, she was splattered with red again.

Clean through the armor, a hole the size of a bowling ball, clean through the boy's torso...

"Not... people..." Was the last thing he wheezed out before he dropped. Lux wanted to scrape the blood off of herself... Too much... Too young...

She should have learned their names.

She felt something move behind her, and she lit up on the spot.

Jinx, on her hut, was exceedingly bored. When's she coming over? I want to see her light something up! She was beginning to realize how much she was starting to depend on Lux for entertainment. Before, she'd have been able to find something to shoot and call it a day, but now that she had a friend...

Well, at least she'd gotten some tinkering done! Pow-Pow and Fishbones were in the best shape they'd been in months! She figured maybe it was time to show Lux... She knew she was good with machines, but she really did want to show her her babies! These two were her most wonderful works! Even if they were weapons of mass destruction, Lux would like it if it was hers, right?

Right...?

She didn't have time to ponder as a scream ripped through the night.

Now, Jinx lived in the middle of the woods. Wild animals were a common occurrence! People got mauled ALL the time! And that voice had sounded too deep to be Lux, so what did she care who got gobbled?

She took a few steps to the window, and turned down the lights, just in case.

Then, at the far end of her vision, she heard another scream, higher-pitched, and every single hair on her body stood on end. She saw the woods light up from here, brighter than she'd ever seen Lux get... She would see her work tonight.

She grabbed a big backpack she kept under her workbench and bolted out the door, into the night, in the direction of the voice as fast as she could possibly go...

The voice sounded like Sylas... Lux thought that would be the worst part.

It wasn't.

The vision was infinitely worse.

"Hello, Little Light." Oh, that voice was NOT as pleasant as she remembered... "What's wrong?"

She didn't know when they'd moved. One moment she was in the woods, now she was in... Demacia City. The main street. People in hoods all around, and the floor littered with blood and bodies... Civilians. An absolute massacre. She knew the people in hoods were Mages. She knew this was her fault... She thought she saw Garen among the bodies.

And at the center of it all, Sylas.

His hands were on her shoulders, and that voice that was his and wasn't at the same time boomed again...

"We never could have done this without you."

Her hands were covered in blood... She tried to scream, but her voice was gone. She tried to cry, but blood came instead of tears... Blood she knew wasn't hers...

Gods, it wasn't hers... She couldn't breathe... Like she was choking on thin air...

Sylas spoke again.

"This is what you were born to be. This is what you will always be... Don't worry, Little Light. We see you... We love you."

And somewhere in the distance, she heard the crows laughing again... Enjoying her pain. Her dread. Her fear... And she would have wept if she could have. But she couldn't. It was all blood... It was all blood.

And then... Another noise reached her ears. Like canon-fire, but lighter. Faster. Incredibly fast.

And then a voice she would know through any Hell.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER!!!"

Isha... Wild, mad, beautiful Isha! She followed the voice and realized there were cuts on her. Her legs had been... Bit? And then her mind cleared.

Crows. All around her, diving her body and taking small bites whenever one passed her by. Crow bites littered her legs like tattoos, her sleeves and arms tattered and bleeding. She could live with that. She would live with that! If she didn't, she couldn't get back at whatever had done this to her.

And then she noticed the crows thinning out. The light cannon fire was louder. A LOT louder, and then she noticed a crow drop at her knees (Oh, she was kneeling... That wasn't a good look.), dead and with a hole in it's wing and head.

Then another and another and another, multiple dropping a second. She saw small flashes in front of her. Tiny projectiles of pink and blue moving almost faster than the eye could track. Bullets. Demacia didn't use those a lot...

But she wasn't Demacian.

Lux had never been so impressed or so glad to see anything in her entire life.

There, standing her ground, with an absolute mammoth of a gun, multiple barrels worth of firepower spinning rapidly, muzzles flashing like fireworks, dropping crows like she was born for that exact purpose, and pissed out of her mind... Was Isha the Witch.

Fireworks... Yes. That was the word. That was her magic. And Lux couldn't help but be inspired by it.

Jinx, on her end, was absolutely fucking fuming.

Who dared? Who had the GALL to hurt her friend?! And a block away from her hut?! The NERVE on this bitch! She'd make sure to let them know they weren't shit before she put a bomb in their mouth!

"DROP DEAD, YOU FILTHY FLYING BASTARDS!"

Pow-Pow was working like a charm... Good! Nothing like a good first impression!

Lux got to her feet. Her hands shot up and light burnt about 10 crows back to Hell where they belonged.

Atta girl! Jinx was so proud! The little Flashlight seemed a whole lighthouse now!

The crows finally got the memo and started to fly away from them, getting lost in the dark and scattering into the night.

That hadn't been it. She KNEW that. She could FEEL they weren't alone...

Lux threw her arms around her before she could process that, though.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you..." She sounded exhausted. Ragged breathing. Panic attack. "I don't know what I would have done."

"And you won't have to figure it out. We're not out of the woods yet, though!" Stay on track, Jinx. There would be time for hugs later.

Lux nodded her head. Then she grabbed Isha's face and planted a kiss on her cheek. Gods, she was so glad to see her!

Then she jammed her hand into her rucksack and pulled out her staff. She didn't notice her friend having to reboot her brain.

"Where are you! Show yourself, coward!" Lux exclaimed, with as much authority and vitriol as she could muster, which, as it turned out, was a lot at this moment. Jinx was shocked she could sound so mad!

The thing didn't take long to answer.

There, coming out of the woods, shambling like it was being puppeteered rather than walking on its own legs, was the scarecrow from the clearing. Now that they could see it more clearly, it felt... weirdly patchwork. Even for a scarecrow! Like it didn't belong in Demacia, or even in a field doing its supposed job or anywhere the two had known. Three metal keys hung from its neck, and what seemed to be a sickle dropped lazily from its hand. They tried not to think about how similar it was to Isha's hoodie...

And the girls wouldn't show it, but every bone in their body told them to run.

"Alright, creep. You went TOO FAR!" Jinx opened fire before she had gotten that last word out.

Pow-Pow started blasting at full throttle, bullets shredding the form of the scarecrow until it was nothing but a rag on the floor.

"There you go, that's what you get!" Jinx exclaimed.

"WhAt... YoU... gEt..." Came her own voice back from the rag, and the scarecrow started pulling itself together like nothing had happened. Holes in the rag closed, stitched together by some black mist that emanated from underneath its form. And then, when it got up and had its sickle again, it... smiled. A wicked smile. A wrong smile. Rows of sharp, razor-like metal teeth glistened in the maw of the creature that had taken the full brunt of a tricked-out gatling gun and just... Shaken it off.

"Oh... F-"

"Fiddlesticks." Lux's voice was small. Pure fear. Jinx realized she knew what this was, and whatever it was scared her friend shitless. "Like the nursery rhyme."

It was supposed to be a story. A boogie man to keep children from staying out too long... It couldn't be real!

It seemed to acknowledge Lux. Like it liked the sound of its own name... It responded in a deep voice. A dark voice. And the girls dared think that might have been it's own.

"FiIiIiIdDLe... StIiIiCkS...."

Gods, that smile could have given the Devil nightmares.

"Lux what is this thing?" Jinx asked. She didn't even try to hide the fear in her voice.

Lux didn't have time to answer before it pounced. And this thing was fast!

Isha was faster. A flash of purple met a flash of red and suddenly, before her gatling gun had even hit the ground, the witch and the scarecrow were jabbing and tackling each other so fast Lux couldn't even tell who was winning. She clocked a sickle slice on Isha's leg here, a knee to the face there, a missed bite, a nail-rake... Both seemed to be evenly matched.

Eventually, the two crashed into each other and ended up rolling on the ground. Isha was banged up. It was about this moment that Lux noticed the other bag she carried with her, tied to her back. Her witch wasn't out of tricks yet... But Fiddlesticks got up quicker. Its tattered form reconstructing itself like it hadn't just been fighting for it's... Life? Gods, Lux hoped it was life... How do you kill it if it's not alive?!

It seemed too tired to run. Good. That meant she could aim.

A blast of light came out of her staff before she could even think of doing it. Good. The staff helped. It felt more natural this way, like an extension of her body rather than a tool...

When the light connected, the scarecrow actually winced in pain. Magic hurt it!

"LiTtLe LiGhT...!" Ugh! That voice again!

Lux was going to enjoy this way more than she should.

"Don't touch her!" A blast of light. Concentrated, nothing too crazy, just enough to give Isha time to breathe.

It dodged the first one. The second one grazed it.

She blocked it's sickle with her staff, but not without getting a nick on her shoulder... That would hurt later. Now she pushed with all her might to get the monster off of her.

"NoT pEoPlE!" It moaned. Deathly. Hollow.

"SHUT UP!"

A kick sent her rolling away. She saw the sickle come down on her before she knew what happened next.

A flash of blue hit him in the back. A lightning bolt from Zapper that sent the scarecrow reeling into shock. She knew her chance when she saw it.

Point-blank. She put the staff on Fiddlesticks' torso and let out a beam of pure, concentrated light directly to its chest.

The voice-eater did NOT like that.

The whole rag caught on fire as he was sent flying away... Rolling on the floor, it pointed a curved finger at Lux, and the crows returned.

She knew they weren't a problem now. She lit immediately and started shooting them down.

Take care of them quick! Get to Isha!

Where's Isha...?

Between the storm of crows, she'd lost sight of her friend. She caught a glimpse amidst the murder.

Isha. On her knees... A black tendril connected from her chest to the scarecrow's mouth. Like it was... Oh, Gods, it's fucking FEEDING on her.

Jinx tried to get up. She struggled, as hard as she could. She'd made one slip and Fiddlesticks had taken advantage. He was burnt and ragged and tattered, but whatever he was doing to her, it was making it laugh... Like he didn't have a care in the world.

She didn't know what it was, but this feeling in her chest made her mind go back... To Zaun. To when she was strapped to a chair, getting pumped full of Shimmer.

The thing got closer to her, and from it's mouth came a voice she didn't dare hope she would hear again...

"Is ThErE aNyThInG sO uNdOiNg..." Said the scarecrow, getting closer and closer. And it didn't feel like a scarecrow anymore.

"...As a daughter...?"

And now she wasn't in the woods anymore. She was in Zaun, on a moonlit night. At a tea party. She knew it by heart.

She'd set it up herself.

And of all the people to be in it, it had to be him.

"Jinx?"

"Silco..."

And there he was. Standing in front of her, just as she remembered him. The same way she left him.

Pumped full of holes, and with water in his lungs.

"Don't cry..." He said, and he seemed to smile. A hollow smile that didn't reach his eyes. "You're perfect. Just the way you are..."

Water started coming out of his mouth. And the holes in his chest... And everywhere was flooding at once.

She couldn't breathe.

Two steps back, she hit something. Someone. Big. Strong.

"PoWdEr..."

Vander was every bit the man she remembered tall, buff, righteous... And blown to bits, pumped full of Shimmer, his body cracked under the building she'd brought down all those years ago.

His hands dug into her shoulders. And then they weren't hands. They were claws.

And then it wasn't her dad anymore.

The monster the media had named "Warwick" simply had the face of her dad... Nothing of the man remained, she knew that.

But the tears in his face, red as fire, followed by the sobs in those dog-like eyes had taken whatever sense Jinx had left.

The claws dug deeper... And deeper...

She felt herself tear her shoulders getting away. They were freely bleeding now. She didn't care. She just couldn't face him. Not again. Not after last time.

She ran, so fast and far that she didn't notice she wasn't at the tea party anymore. She knocked herself against the counter at The Last Drop.

Home sweet home, but not as it should be.

She knew who the next voice would be before she even showed up.

Sitting next to her, in her stool at the bar, was her sister Vi. Fully decked out in Enforcer gear. Jinx couldn't tell if it hurt more or less that Caitlyn wasn't here to take her anger out on...

Her sister (Not her sister, she knew... But it felt so real!) got up from her stool.

She still couldn't breathe.

"YoU rUiN eVeRyThInG yOu ToUcH!" She said. "You're a JINX!" And with every step closer she got more hurt. Wounds she knew. A nail rake here, a scar there... The marks Pow-Pow had left on her the last time they'd fought. "My SiStEr Is DEAD!"

Back away... Back away!

She felt her fist connect before she saw it, and it sent her world spiralling. She expected the floor... But instead she dropped on grass. A completely different place this time. She thought she recognized it, but where...?

She shouldn't have looked around. There, in front of a bunch of destroyed huts, were Clagor and Mylo. Their faces were crushed. Their bodies burnt... Their expressions a cruel faccimille of the people they had once been. They didn't say anything. They didn't have to. The small blue orbs they held in their hands were message enough.

She still couldn't breathe...

She couldn't stop the tears. The screams that wouldn't leave her throat, no matter how hard she tried to make them...

What followed was a sound like a ticking clock.

"AlWaYs A dAnCe WiTh YoU..." This was wrong in every way shape and form. She shouldn't turn. She shouldn't follow the voice... But she had to see him again. Just once. Just for a moment!

Bad call.

When she turned, it was indeed Ekko's face she saw. Normal at first. Handsome, brave... A flash of green around his form, and a scar appeared on his jaw. 1, 2, 3, 4... Flash! Another scar.

1, 2, 3, 4... Flash! Burnt hair and skin...

1, 2, 3, 4... Flash!

And her boy saviour didn't have flesh to burn anymore. She felt a part of her die inside...

She crumpled to her knees. She had just figured out where she was in all the panic. This was Viktor's camp. His little cult-haven where he turned the less fortunate of Zaun into subjects of his Glorious Evolution.

She had just put the pieces together when another ghost came to haunt her... Who else? Just one word left her lips... Small and almost not there, but enough that Jinx would remember it forever.

After all, it was the only thing she'd ever heard her say.

"MoM...?"

Oh, Isha... Sweet little Isha. There she was. Just as she remembered her. She was holding an orb too.

Please, no. Not again, I can't! Not her! PLEASE NOT THIS AGAIN!

Then the lights turned blue. That cursed blue hue those damned magic marbles took with them everywhere they went... And her Isha slowly, harrowingly, faded to dust in front of her. Soft smile and a tear the last thing Jinx saw upon her face.

And now she didn't want to breathe.

Lux got free of the crows. She could barely explain how. She'd started blasting as hard as she possibly could, and then, eventually, the feathered bastards had dropped her.

Fiddlesticks stood over Isha, and its expression... Gods, he looked delighted. Like it was the greatest moment of its life. Isha was the opposite. The grief in her face, the pain... Lux could make out a few words here and there as she went to them, but nothing that really made sense in the moment.

"Don't touch Isha." She said, light flying from her staff. She didn't have to scream for the scarecrow to turn to look at her. The first hit severed the connection. And again...

"DON'T TOUCH ISHA." Louder... Angrier. BRIGHTER! She felt like every single speck of light around her was saying 'DO IT! LET US FLY! LET US AT HIM!'. She would have done it anyway. A second blast. Harder than the first. It lit the cloak on fire again immediately. Good.

Luxanna Crownguard finally let everything out at once. And she didn't have to scream... She did anyways. For herself.

"DON'T. TOUCH. ISHA!!!!!"

Jinx's body reacted before she did. She didn't know what her name was for a moment after coming out of that hellish vision Fiddlesticks had put her into, but she looked away instinctively. She had a feeling whatever Lux was doing would burn her eyes off if she dared glance. So to her, it was all a big flash. A moment, where holding her head down in the woods at night felt like the sun had come out to wake her up, and then it was gone, just as it had arrived.

Not the sun. Just a Flashlight.

She did hear Fiddlesticks scream in pain, though, and that brought her immense satisfaction...

But she wasn't done with that cheap rag yet...!

When she looked up, Fiddlesticks barely looked like a scarecrow anymore... He still had bits and pieces of the sack that was his body and head, but all the straw was set ablaze. The metal teeth were the only things not scorched, and they glowed red with heat. And underneath where the torso had been, covered by half a rag and the three keys around it's neck, was a small metal cage where that dark thing that kept them tethered a moment before writhed in pain.

So now she had a target.

She threw one hand in a small pouch on her belt and another onto the sack on her back. She jammed the little blue marble into Fishbone's loading chamber with all the rage she could feel.

She braved a glance at Lux. She was still glowing, faintly... But she was on her knees. The grass around her burnt off like a nuclear scorch mark. She tried to blast the monster again.

Nothing.

Not a tiny glimmer of anything came out of her hands. Lux was absolutely spent.

She still got to her feet and clutched her staff again. She was ready to take this thing on magic-less if she had to.

She didn't have to.

Fiddlesticks lunged at her. Slower. Too slow.

It was Isha that pushed her out of the way and onto the ground. Facing the scarecrow with a... Strange contraption on her shoulder. It was long, like a cannon, but the front was painted like the head of a shark.

Lux couldn't make out more before it started glowing blue. Bright blue. Magic blue.

The scarecrow got one more word out.

"POWDER!"

Isha let out a primal, furious scream and fired.

Lux saw the... thing that came out of Isha's weapon connect with the cage point-blank, and in the blink of an eye, the scarecrow and the projectile were sailing off into the night sky, framed by the moon. A streak of bright blue light, carrying its nightmarish payload as far away as its power would let it.

Lux didn't get up. She remained on the ground, looking up at the moon, at the light... At Isha.

She saw her friend lift a pair of fingers in the direction of the scarecrow, like mimicking a gun.

She didn't say anything. She didn't take her eyes off it. Not for a second.

And then her finger gun fired. Just a gesture, nothing more, and the payload exploded.

Lux couldn't believe what she saw. The blast was enormous. Big enough to overtake the moon from where she was sitting. To paint the whole night blue for one brief, beautiful, absolutely incredible moment of pure... Relief. By her estimate, that explosion could have leveled a building all by itself, easily.

And in the center of that blast, looking back at her, framed by her own destruction, by her own power, exploding like fireworks, was Isha. Lux could admit it: She was in awe. Completely and utterly.

The moment lasted way too little for her liking.

After the boom of the explosion had left the night sky, Isha dropped her weapon. The metal cannon had done its job and now she couldn't carry it anymore. She took a few steps forward.

"Isha...?"

She didn't get another word out. The Witch just screamed. A scream so painful, so full of grief and loss and pain that it made the monster they just fought feel like a nice daydream. A scream of immeasurable hurt.

A scream that would haunt Lux for the rest of her life.

And then... She crumbled. On her knees, sobbing openly, crying like she had just undergone the worst pain imaginable, and she probably had, the witch of the woods, who seemed less a witch and more a lost, grieving child, finally stopped holding back the tears. Not because she wanted to... But because she couldn't.

And she had to force herself to breathe.

Jinx didn't remember anything after firing Fishbones. One moment, she was crying in the woods. The next, she was in her hut. In her sad excuse of a couch, with Lux dropped next to her, like a ragdoll who had seen too much play.

The two stayed in silence for a while. What the Hell could they even say?

It took what felt like forever, but Lux finally broke the silence.

"It killed my guards."

Jinx didn't respond.

"I... I- I have to get their bodies home. Their horses too... Star is still out there, and she's probably terrified."

Still not a peep.

"Listen, I won't be gone long. I'll just..." How could she explain what she felt in that moment? She did NOT want to leave the hut, but the dead deserved their dignity. "I'll send them home and then..."

Jinx just scooched over and grabbed her hand.

No words. Just a silent approval. Go. Let them rest. Be you. I won't stop you.

Lux squeezed her hand back, leaned in, under he friend's hood, and kissed her cheek again. She stayed there a little longer than she thought she should, but she really didn't care at this point.

"You saved me tonight. More than once. What that thing made me see... I won't ever forget. And I will want to, but I don't think I can. But I'll always remember that you saved me from dying to it. Thank you".

She'd spoken from the heart. The smallest, meekest curl of a smile appeared on Isha's face for a fraction of a second. That was enough, for now. That's all she could ask.

Once Lux was out the door, Jinx finally let herself think.

There weren't a lot of things in the world that could shake her. After the life she'd led, she was pretty numb to terror in general.

But tonight awoke something in her that she had desperately tried to keep repressed. Regret? Homesickness? The soft, irritating, terrifying cackle that asked 'what could've been'?

Maybe it was a mix of all of that and more. She took slow breaths. Like she was realizing she could breathe again, and slowly daring to, at her own pace... Her head craned to Pow-Pow and Fishbones on the corner of the hut. Had she dragged those there? Had Lux? She couldn't tell anymore. She couldn't care.

Oh, and then there was Lux... Jinx knew what she'd seen. What she'd faced. She had some semblance of an idea of what had been forced into Lux's head, and she felt for the poor girl. Gods, she was grateful she was here tonight! She'd risked her life, given her absolute all to keep her safe... Faced this terrifying effigy of horror, then gotten knocked down, and gotten back up and faced it again for her.

And now here she was... Alone by herself. She'd grown close to Flashlight. She hadn't meant for that to happen. And she really hadn't wanted Lux to go. She understood, as much as she could in that moment, that she had barely survived tonight by mostly luck. One missed bullet, one missed bolt of light, and they'd be scarecrow food. Or worse...

So, what now? She'd be back in a day or two, and they'd have to pretend tonight either hadn't happened or was just another wacky adventure in the woods! Like it hadn't opened every wound they had and poured industrial amounts of salt into them...

She knew one thing for sure now, though: As far as she could trust anyone, she could trust Lux. That girl was special. A fighter, like her. She could take it. Whatever they faced, Lux could take it...

Maybe, she dared think, she could take who she was without running away...

She had been terrified of telling Lux about her past in detail. The comparison to Sylas was too painful. She didn't know who it sucked more for... The girl who had to risk losing her only friend, or the girl who had to come to terms with the fact that the friends she made were a type, and that that type was 'deranged criminals' and 'I-can-fix-them's... She would have chuckled if she hadn't been so absolutely exhausted.

Then she thought some more.

A terrible idea, really.

About the things Fiddlesticks had shown her. Both her dads, dead. Her sister, better off without her... Ekko, who would kill himself trying to save her if he could... Isha...

Isha.

She'd picked her name of all things. She wanted to honor her...

She wanted to have her back. She couldn't be alone anymore! She couldn't take it!

If she had lived, Jinx would have taken her away from Zaun with her! She would have lived in the woods with her little girl... She would have... She would have...

The door stopped her from spiraling. Though honestly, it could have been Fiddlesticks coming back for round two and she still wouldn't have moved from the couch. She was done tonight.

But it wasn't Fiddlesticks, or any other monster from the dark.

It was Lux.

"I sent a message." She said, letting herself in. Her accent was in full effect. She didn't have the care to hide it. Not here.

She jammed her staff on the rim of the door. Not a lock, but it would do for now. "I told my brother not to worry about me and that the worst had passed."

Jinx wanted to ask why she'd returned, but Lux beat her to it.

"I know this is selfish of me, but..." She plopped on the couch again. "Would it be alright if I stayed the night here?"

Her eyes must have been huge the way Lux's expression changed.

"I don't mean to intrude but... It didn't feel right to leave you alone tonight. And to be completely honest, I don't think I could have ridden all the way back... I sent Starfire with the bodies. She's a brave girl. She'll see them home."

Home. For the first time, Jinx thought the hut may have felt like one.

"It's okay if you can't talk right now... I understand." She put her head on her shoulder and her arms around her neck. There was no implication about it. Just... Softness. Now that they both needed it. "I'll shut up too, but I wanted to tell you you're not alone. Maybe it's obvious with me here, but I still wanted to say it. Thank you, Isha."

Stop running Jinx. It's time. Now, while you can.

"Not... My name."

Her voice was hoarse, and little more than a breath, but she got it out.

Lux actually sat up. Jinx couldn't look at her. She was too afraid of what those eyes could say, but she was glad to tell the truth tonight.

Lux just stared for a little while. Then, after a moment, she spoke. "I figured. Fiddle-" No. Don't say it's name. Not now. Not ever. "That thing called you 'Powder'...?" She was trying to stay as quiet as possible.

The witch spoke again. "My birth name. From back when I was little. Before I hurt-" She felt herself starting to choke up. "It's a name. But it's not the name I chose."

No words had ever mattered to Lux more than these. There was something about her opening up that enraptured her. The vulnerability. The trust... She would have fought that demon again if it meant her witch... Huh.

Her witch.

She guessed she was, now. And she was her Flashlight. Not her most glamorous title, but probably the one she was the proudest of.

"Why 'Isha', then?" She asked. She felt like she could ask... Maybe it was selfish, but she wanted to hear her talk more.

Nothing could have prepared her for the words that came out of the witch's mouth.

"To hear it again. To know it wasn't a voice in my head..." And Jinx let herself be human for once. "Oh, Lux..." She said, tears dropping from her eyes as she finally looked at her friend.

"Isha was my daughter."

[oc3anic-ang3l]

[texting]

Nico: what’s a conspiracy theory you guys believe in?

Percy: every time a new chicken sandwich releases

Nico: what?

Jason: the CIA got him before he could finish 

[celestial-toys]

That I Would Be Good [3/5]

Whatever It's Worth

“For whatever it’s worth, I think it always looks fine. I think you fuss over it too damn much, but regardless… it’s… fine. You always look fine to me. You’d look fine even if you didn’t have any hair at all.”

A small smile blooms across your features as his words sink in. “That’s… that’s the closest thing to a compliment you’ve ever given me, Sun.”

You turn and he lets the ends of your hair slip from his hands, looking a bit caught off guard at your sudden motion. You ignore his false eyes and look directly into the camera in the center of his screen. “Thank you.”

He remains frozen for a moment before his display dims to black and he turns, quickly scrubbing the worst remnants of conditioner off of his hands and onto a nearby towel. “I think your hair has been conditioned enough.”

- - - - - - -

In This Chapter

Sun attempts some level-headed honesty with his hands in your hair, and Moon gets a little overzealous when it comes to his unofficial position as Household Chef.

Pairing: Sun x Moon x Reader

Word Count: 4,779

Contains: [AU - Real World | Sentient AI/Automatons | Personality Swap] [implied EDNOS] [invasion of privacy] [implication of past self-harming behavior] [Reader has their period (not graphically described)] [discussion of menstruation] [discussion of various foods and nutrition] [one (1) use of a fem gendered term for Reader] [discussion and feelings of dysphoria] [eating]

A/Ns: This is a songfic. Lyrics and title are from ‘That I Would Be Good’ by Alanis Morissette.

This fic is part of my AU “[Not] Made by Design”, the full series can be found here.

Links to other parts of this fic: [Ch.1] [Ch.2] [Ch.3 (you are here)] [Ch.4] [Ch.5]

That I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth.

After rinsing the remainder of lightly-tinted soap suds out of your hair, off of your body, and down the drain, you bend down to turn the shower off. Gently squeezing the worst of the water out of your locks, you straighten back up and pull the shower door aside.

Then you shout.

“SUN! What the fuck are you doing?!”

You quickly step behind the blurry frosted glass of the shower door, leaving only your head peeking around the edge. You shiver in the relatively cold air that rushes to fill the shower stall as you await an answer. The solar automaton is currently leaning against the opposite wall, arms crossed and casual as ever, monitor flipped around 180 degrees in what you assume was meant to be a silent assurance that he wasn’t watching you.

“I have a question.”

Your eyes pinch closed and your features scrunch up in frustration, silently asking any higher power out there to grant you the patience to deal with this nonsense. “And it couldn’t wait until I got dressed?”

He shrugs. “I don’t see why it would need to.”

You silently press your forehead against the cool metal of the shower door’s frame.

“…Are you decent yet or must I continue admiring the grout between the tiles on this wall behind me?”

You huff, reaching out of the shower and grabbing your bathrobe off of its designated hook. “Just one… damn second…” You cinch the rope around your waist and step gingerly out onto the bath mat. “Okay, I’m ‘decent.’ Now—pray tell—what do you need to ask me?”

He leans his upper body away from the wall, rays retracting to give himself enough clearance to flip his monitor around. His rays slide back out in tandem after he turns his head to face you, and he rests his shoulders against the wall once more. “I was wondering why you’ve taken three showers today.”

You stand there, blinking in disbelief. “That’s it?”

“Yes. It’s… concerning. I wanted to make sure you weren’t up to any… harmful behaviors in here while left unsupervised.”

You roll your eyes. “‘Left unsupervised…’ What is this, some kind of inpatient program? Christ, Sun, this is my house! Can’t I catch a break?”

You throw your arms up in frustration, and he doesn’t answer you immediately. It isn’t until you deflate, dropping your exaggerated expression and bringing a hand up to pinch the bridge of your nose that he finally responds in a quieter tone. “You… concern me. I don’t know what to do.”

You sigh, trying to reign in your frustration.

Sometimes you forget that he has a lot less experience with being a person than you do.

You try to cut him some slack. “Sun, I appreciate the concern over my wellbeing. But I promise you, the only destructive behavior going on in this bathroom today is the damage I'm doing to my hair.”

He’s quiet, processing your words for a moment before he announces an observation. “It’s a lighter shade than it was this morning.”

You nod. “I sure hope it is. I’ve been in here washing the hell out of it with this fading treatment, trying to get the color I wanted.”

His expression is something between confused and disapproving. “You aren’t supposed to do that. It’s bad for your hair to wash it so much.”

You turn to the mirror and toy with your hair, dismissing him. “Yeah, yeah. Jeez, who are you, my hairdresser?”

He steps into view beside you in the mirror, leaning in closer to examine your hair. “Maybe if you’d gone to one instead of DIY-ing it you’d have gotten the color you wanted.”

You lock eyes with his reflection for a long moment. “…Touché.”

He seems pleased enough with your response, stepping back a bit and watching you futz with your hair in the mirror.

“Have your concerns been quelled now, or…?”

“…I suppose.” He replies, making no move to exit the bathroom.

“…Well then are you gonna just stand there and watch me apply my leave-in conditioner or what?”

He ignores your question, leaning in close to you again. Pinching the end of a damp lock of hair between the pads of his fingers, he hums his dissent. “You really need to quit fucking with your hair if you want to still have any left.”

You can’t help but laugh. “Goodness, the way you worded that almost sounds like a threat!”

His eyes meet yours in the mirror again and he smirks. “No… just a warning.”

He drags the tail end of your hair along the palm of his opposite hand, like idly toying with a paintbrush. “You’re always awfully concerned about the appearance of your hair.”

You cock a brow up at that. “Are you sure that isn’t a threat, Sun?”

A noise escapes him: half-scoff, half-laugh, and he sounds oddly genuine when he reassures you. “It’s not. I just… noticed.”

He releases your hair and you can finally lean far enough away to open the cabinet. “Mhm. What don’t you notice.”

He ignores your comment in favor of hitting you with another set of sudden left-field questions. “Are you afraid of getting older? Or are you afraid of losing control.”

Your hand halts, hovering halfway toward retrieving the conditioner from the cabinet, and drops back down to your side as you turn to face him. “What?”

“I’ve learned that some people dye their hair because they want to appear younger than they are. I’ve also seen many posts online where people describe making drastic changes to their hair while going through something difficult in their life. The concept appears in a number of song lyrics too. It seems to me like an attempt at gaining a sense of control.”

The fun thing about living with sentient, learning AI is that they’re always asking questions and compiling information about the world around them.

The not-so-fun thing about living with sentient, learning AI is that they’re always asking questions and compiling information about the world around them.

You’d liken it to having a fully grown adult with the curiosity and learning capacity of a child, if you didn’t want to feel even weirder about your “Creator x Creation” dynamic than you already do sometimes.

“While I… appreciate your attempts to psychoanalyze me based on my hair-dyeing habits, I regret to inform you that it’s neither of those things for me, Sunny.” You consider it a moment more, and add on. “…As far as I’m aware, at least.”

His head tilts to the side a bit. “You don’t have to patronize me.”

“I… wasn’t?”

“You used that name for me. ‘Sunny.’ It made your statement sound… patronizing.”

Another fun thing about living with sentient, learning AI is that you get to clear up all sorts of little miscommunications.

“Oh, no, I—I didn’t mean it to sound like that. I’m sorry, Sun. That wasn’t my intention.”

He doesn’t let it go so quickly. “Based on my calculations, a nickname like that tends to be used in one of three ways—patronizing, dismissive, or affectionate. Care to clarify which one it was?”

You level him with an unamused stare. “No, I don’t care to clarify.”

You then turn to retrieve the conditioner from the cabinet, effectively shutting down that line of questioning. You grab the body lotion while you’re at it, and as you set your items down on the counter, you attempt to free yourself of your overly-curious bathroom companion. “Unless you’re waiting around to help me put this stuff in my hair, I'm afraid it’s time for you to go find something else to do for a little while, Sun.”

His response is… unexpected. “I… can help.”

What has gotten into this guy recently? Used to be you had to fight to get one nice word out of him and now here he is playing ‘20 Questions’ and offering to condition your hair?

“I… didn’t expect you to actually—”

“If you didn’t want me to offer then why’d you ask?”

You squint at him, unamused. “Sun, c’mon, I know you grasp the concepts of sarcasm and rhetoric.”

Once again ignoring your statement, he pushes himself away from the wall and holds out his upturned palms in an open gesture of offering. “Would you like me to help or not?”

You’re quite sure he expects you to turn him down, so you agree to his offer, if for no other reason than to subvert his expectations. “You know what? Yeah, sure. I’d love the help, Sunny.”

He freezes for a moment—processing—but you’ve gotta admit, he collects himself surprisingly fast, apparently feeling up to the challenge.

Once you explain how much of the product to use and how to apply it, you quickly find yourself staring into the mirror, watching Sun carefully and methodically work conditioner into your hair and wondering how you got here.

Eventually a question pops up and you break through his focused silence. “Does it really look lighter than it did earlier today?”

“…Yes. But if you want my honest opinion it looked just fine before you scrubbed the life out of it three times.”

You huff in surprise at his bluntness. “Damn, okay, tell me how you really feel…”

“When have you ever known me to mince my words?”

“I know, I know. It’s fine. I appreciate your honesty.”

Silence settles over the two of you for another few moments, but he eventually pipes back up. “For whatever it’s worth, I think it always looks fine. I think you fuss over it too damn much, but regardless… it’s… fine. You always look fine to me. You’d look fine even if you didn’t have any hair at all.”

A small smile blooms across your features as his words sink in. “That’s… that’s the closest thing to a compliment you’ve ever given me, Sun.”

You turn and he lets the ends of your hair slip from his hands, looking a bit caught off guard at your sudden motion. You ignore his false eyes and look directly into the camera in the center of his screen. “Thank you.”

He remains frozen for a moment before his display dims to black and he turns, quickly scrubbing the worst remnants of conditioner off of his hands and onto a nearby towel. “I think your hair has been conditioned enough.”

Your tone quickly becomes teasing. “Aww, is somebody flustered?”

He reaches for the doorknob. “It’s time for me to walk Zero. I trust you can moisturize the rest of yourself without my assistance.”

Quickly making his very smooth retreat, as your laughter subsides, you’re left there to apply your lotion in thoughtful silence.

That I would be great if I was no longer Queen.

“Does this feel more like an ‘apple-cinnamon’ or ‘banana-walnut’ kind of day?”

You release a soft sigh as you raise your head from where it’d been… briefly planted atop your crossed arms, and you lean back into your seat at the kitchen table. “You really don’t have to do every single thing for me, Moon.”

His monitor clicks, spinning a few degrees back and forth to accompany his playful rebuttal. “And leave me with no task to occupy these idle hands? Why, I feel like that’d be just cruel.” The pout he wears doesn’t do much to convince you, nor to ease the guilt you feel.

He can tell as much, and tries a more serious approach. “Star… you’re menstruating. From what I can tell, this is a more painful period than normal. I’m sure in no small part due to the excess stress you’ve been under this past month. You deserve to rest as much as possible right now.”

“I figured you’d be in favor of me getting up and moving around. Isn’t that supposed to help in the long-run?”

He nods. “It can. But it tends to help the most when stretching and physical activity is maintained throughout the entire monthly cycle, not just once you’re already bleeding and in pain.”

His explanation is straightforward, but soft spoken, everything in his tone and body language obviously trying not to offend, accuse, or criticize. “Besides, bugging you to exercise tends to fall more under Sun’s jurisdiction, and he’s had his reasons for prioritizing other aspects of your well-being this month.”

Speak of the devil, Moon’s other half strides into the kitchen with Zero trailing closely behind. He has no trouble falling into the conversation. “I can help you through some gentle stretches later today if you’d like, but I second the notion that you should rest right now. I don’t need to hear any more groans and curses from you like I heard after you insisted on cleaning up the living room and prepping your own dinner last night.”

You rest your chin in your palm. “I ‘insisted’ because I just… I feel like I put too much on you guys. You don’t deserve to have to do all this shit for me.”

Sun scoffs, speaking with his back to you as he pulls open a cabinet door. “Trust me, you’re doing us all a favor by letting this one over here dote on you. I fear he’d go mad if there wasn’t always some task he could busy himself with, and he seems to favor any task that falls under the realm of taking care of you.” He turns to face you, mug in hand. “Now, what do you want to drink?”

You’d laugh at the juxtaposition of his words and his actions, but the deep pain of another cramp sets in and you weakly wave a hand in defeat. “Just some hot water, please.” He hums in confirmation and moves to grab the kettle. You turn your focus back to Moon. “I’ll let you… appease your instincts. It’s kinda my fault that you’ve got ‘em in the first place.”

His expression brightens, round eyes curling into his signature crescents. “Good! Now, shall I list your options again?”

You shake your head and hum a negative, mulling it over for a moment as you take hold of the steaming mug of water that Sun quietly slides in front of you. “Uhh… actually, can I just have it plain today?”

Moon smiles softly, head twisted back over his shoulder to look at you while he pulls a carton of dry oats from the pantry. “Of course, star. Would you like some sugar on it or do you want it truly plain?”

You shove aside the inner voice whispering to you about ‘empty calories’. “…I guess a little brown sugar wouldn’t hurt.”

Moon brightens a little at your answer. “Good choice! I hear that brown sugar gives it a maple syrup-y taste thanks to the molasses. Oh, that makes me think of pancakes! And waffles! And french toast! I should make one of those tomorrow. How does that sound?”

You smile at his growing excitement over tomorrow’s breakfast, in spite of the fact that he won’t even get to partake. Another cramp sets in as you respond and you try to keep the strain out of your voice. “They all sound good, but I don’t know if I can choose right now…”

He gently places a small pot of water on the stove, turning the burner’s dial with practiced precision. “That’s alright, there’s no rush! It’s just some—heh—food for thought!”

Sun groans at the joke, and Moon defends it. “Hey, no—that was a good one!”

Zero noses at Sun’s hand, stealing his attention before he can begin to debate with Moon. As you passively watch him pull the dog’s breakfast from the fridge, a random thought occurs. “Do we still have any Ruffles left?”

Moon opens a different cabinet and shuffles a few bags around in his search. “Weeee… do!”

You’re hesitant to request the odd combination, but your craving wins the inner battle. “Can I… have some of those too?”

“You certainly can!”

Sun reaches past Moon to grab Zero’s bowl from the dish rack, speaking beneath his mechanical breath. “Sugar and salt, what a breakfast.”

“They’re fine choices!” Moon chipperly responds, the word ‘fine’ punctuated by a small smack to the back of Sun’s monitor.

Sun’s rays retract as he ducks down and steps back, distancing himself from Moon’s reach. “I never said they weren’t.” He sets Zero’s bowl on the counter with emphasis. “But you might want to throw some sort of multivitamin in with that salty-sweet mix.”

“I always see to it that they meet their daily needs, Sun.” Moon’s voice rarely wavers from its amicable tone, but there’s an undercurrent of finality to it now that quiets any further commentary from his other half.

As he stirs the simmering oats on the stove, his monitor turns to face you. “Oh, speaking of! I was thinking about making you something with spinach and tofu for lunch. You could use the iron, and the magnesium might help to ease your cramps. Plus the vitamin C should help you absorb the iron, and- oh! I could add some wild rice, or potatoes. The additional B vitamins should help the magnesium, and they support progesterone prod—” The kitchen timer dings, stealing his attention and interrupting his ensuing nutritional ramble.

Twisting his head back around, he turns the burner’s dial off. “Anyways—point is—how does that sound to you? I could cube the tofu and toss it into a spinach salad, I could slice and fry it and arrange it together on a sandwich, or I could even sauté the spinach and make a tofu scramble!”

His excited discussion of all of your lunch options is a bit overwhelming to you, considering you haven’t even conquered breakfast yet. Still, you bear in mind that he’s only trying to help, over-enthusiastic as he may be sometimes. “Uhm… the sandwich sounds nice.”

“Alright! Then it shall be yours.” He moves to pass behind you, enroute to retrieve a bowl from the other side of the kitchen, wrapping an arm around your blanket-clad shoulders in a brief embrace. “Anything the Queen of the castle desires is hers upon command.”

You both giggle a bit at his playful expression, and Sun rolls his eyes, accompanied by a dramatic gagging sound. Zero’s happy tail thwacks repeatedly against one leg of the kitchen table. All is well.

Except it isn’t.

As Moon returns to the stove and Sun portions out Zero’s meal, you struggle to fight back the feeling that what he’d just said didn’t sit right.

It had nothing to do with his devotion to service and everything to do with the concept of you being “Queen.” All of this morning’s focus on your menstrual cycle, coupled with this ‘princess’ treatment and compounded by his casual use of feminine terms for you, suddenly has you feeling more like a woman than you suppose you’d like to.

Trying to push the nagging uncomfortable feeling aside, you pull your phone from your sweatpants pocket. You attempt to distract yourself with a mindless scroll through your notifications as the pleasant smell of your breakfast fills the room.

After presenting Zero with her own breakfast, Sun takes a seat across from you at the small table. You can feel his analytical gaze on you, pointedly avoiding eye contact when you glance up from your phone to sip your water.

By the time Moon presents you with your breakfast, the feeling has done nothing but rapidly fester. You try to distract yourself with the meal, but not even the absurd sight of your requested potato chips—on a plate, methodically arranged by size and laid atop one another in a spiral—is enough to rid you of it. You do your best to sound unbothered when you thank him, and he falters as he moves to step away from the table. “You’re very welc-ome… Is, uh… everything okay, star?”

Sun doesn’t beat around the bush. “Something’s wrong. Is the pain getting worse?”

You’re quick to shake your head. “No, no, it’s fine. I’m fine. Just… thinking about something.”

Moon’s hand comes to rest on the back of the nearest empty chair. “Well… talking tends to help people sort their thoughts out, no? We’re all ears if you’d like to get it off your chest.”

You hesitate and Sun straightens in his seat. “If my presence is preventing you from opening up, I can leave the room.”

Your gaze flicks to him, brows knitted. “What? No, no—I… why would you think that?”

He shrugs. If the notion bothers him, he doesn’t let it show. “I’m sure Moon is… the easier of the two of us to talk to. You seemed to be getting more uncomfortable the longer I sat here. Makes sense to me that maybe you’d rather me not hear about whatever’s going on.”

You start to feel a bit guilty that that’s the conclusion he jumped to. “No, Sun, that’s not… I mean, okay—yeah, I could feel you watching me, but just about anyone gets uncomfortable when they know they’re being watched. Your penchant for staring isn’t… you’re not keeping me from opening up.” You look him directly in the eye. “There isn’t anything I’d say to one of you that I wouldn’t want the other to hear. I don’t want either of you thinking that.”

Sun’s fingertips drum along the table and his faceplate clicks to the side. “Okay then, what is stopping you?”

You pull in a deep breath, internally debating whether it’s even worth explaining.

“You… don’t have to tell us, if you really don’t want to.”

You give Moon a tired smile, opening your mouth only for a defeated sigh to fall out. “It’s… nothing, really. Stupid, even.”

Moon frowns. “Did one of us do or say something wrong?”

“No… I mean—not really. Not intentionally! It’s just…” You groan, resting your forehead in your palms. “I feel uncomfortably… feminine. Today. For some reason.”

He nods slowly. “Oh…kay…”

You attempt to elaborate. “I know I don’t talk about it much. You guys know I use She/They pronouns and there’s no more explanation really required. But… I don’t know. Something lately has just had me wishing I was more masculine. Or—at least more androgynous, I guess. And with all this focus on my period, and—”

Sun, the ever patient listener he is, cuts you off. “Menstruation is not inherently feminine. Any human can have periods if they have a uterus.”

You nod quickly. “Yes—I—I agree, but you’ve gotta take into account that that’s a relatively new take on the concept. It’s a good one, of course, but… a lot of people still associate having periods with being a woman. It’s been so tied to femininity for so long, always seen as a ‘woman’s issue’ that… it can be a difficult thing to un-internalize. It’s a common cause of dysphoria in transmasc and nonbinary people.”

He listens intently, rays slowly circling his head as he considers your point. “Right… right. I see. That makes sense.”

You take a pause to sip your cooling drink and recall where you left off. “It… honestly doesn’t usually bother me this bad. I couldn’t tell you what’s different about this month, it’s just not sitting well with me. But I do appreciate knowing that you two don’t see it as making me feminine. That does help. It’s just…” You shake your head. “Ugh, this is so silly…”

Moon slowly pulls back on the chair he’s been holding onto, stepping around and gently taking a seat. “It’s not silly if it’s bothering you.”

Sun nods, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. “He’s right.”

You meet both of their gazes in turn with a small smile before casting your eyes back down to the table. “It’s not a big deal, though. It just… on top of already feeling very feminine, it sat with me wrong when you called me ‘Queen’ earlier. That’s… that’s literally all!” You punctuate your confession with laughter, trying your best to make light of the issue.

Moon’s eyes brighten. “Oh! Oh… oh goodness you’re right! I didn’t even—I didn’t even think…”

You raise a hand out toward him, quick to stop his unnecessary apologies. “It’s not your fault! I promise. You had no clue I was feeling… this way today, and I know you didn’t mean anything by it. I’m not upset with you, I’m… honestly way more upset with myself that I’m so bothered about it in the first place.”

Sun throws his opinion into the ring. “I don’t think either of you are at fault. Moon didn’t know you were feeling this way, and you can’t really control when you feel this way.”

Moon nods and you follow suit. “Yeah, I was hesitant to say anything because I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. I already feel like I’m… hah—‘overly-sensitive’ right now anyways.”

Sun’s expression quickly shifts to disapproval. “Oh, that stereotype can get fucked. You feel how you feel and that’s that. It’s just as real right now as it would be at any other point in your cycle.”

Your eyes widen at Sun’s insistent tone and Moon chuckles a bit at the sight. “I agree, star. And… I don’t think that you’re making a ‘big deal’ about it at all. Honestly, I think the best way to not make it a big deal is to not be afraid to tell us if we use a term for you that makes you uncomfortable. I’d much rather you tell me than just try to ignore the feeling.” He reaches out to place a hand over yours. “We know that your identity isn’t set in stone. If there’s ever something you want to be called, or something you don’t want to be called, the best thing you can do is just let us know, okay?”

Unable to fight the affectionate smile that pulls at your cheeks, you flip your hand over to grab his properly, and squeeze. “Okay. Yeah, that… I can do that. Thank you for understanding.”

His faceplate contentedly clicks a few degrees to the right, his smile soft. “Thank you for telling us.”

Feeling flustered and just a bit overwhelmed by how surprisingly smooth that went, you give his hand one more squeeze before pulling back to wrap it around your mug instead. You clear your throat as you do so, looking for something less intense to say. “I uh, I guess for now I’d just like to stick to gender-neutral stuff, okay?”

Moon nods eagerly. “Of course! Easy-peasy. I can even remedy what I said earlier if you’d like!” He’s muttering to himself before you can even tell him that that’s not really necessary. “Oh—uhm… hmmm…. what’s a good neutral alternative to ‘Queen’…”

Sun instantly starts listing suggestions. “Monarch. Ruler. Sovereign.” His rays spin a quick round, a tell that he’s taking his internal database search online for more information. “‘Caln’ is apparently a monarch word based on the Q slash K sound of Queen and King, if that sounds better to your ear.”

He suddenly barks a laugh and your brows raise in interest. “What?”

He shakes his head dismissively, still chuckling. “Nothing, just… Quora results. The questions some people pose are truly something.”

Moon’s interest is piqued. “What’d you find that was funny enough to make you laugh?”

Sun’s voice shifts to his ‘default human’ impression. “If Queen Elizabeth announced she was gender fluid, dot-dot-dot…”

You stifle a laugh. “That’s certainly one way to pose the question.”

“What's the rest say?” Moon asks.

Sun waves his hand in dismissal. “I don’t know. The preview was humorous, but I wasn’t compelled to follow the link to the full thing. Quora gives me a headache. I’ve moved on.”

Moon playfully pouts as Sun expands his list of suggestions. “Excellency. Majesty. Highness. Grace. Eminence. …Quing?… Oh, apparently ‘Caln’ is queer. Wait, do they mean queer created or queer exclusive…”

You interject before he spends the next hour falling down a rabbit hole of royal terms. “You could go the meme-y route and call me Liege.”

Moon’s attention shifts back toward you. “Is that one gender neutral?”

“I… think so?” You shrug. “Sounds neutral enough to me. Though I honestly wouldn’t mind a bit of masculinity to counterbalance the way I’m… feeling right now.”

He nods sagely as Sun’s list of suggestions continues to grow, getting more and more obscure as he delves further and further into his search.

You can’t help but laugh a bit as you dig a spoon into your oats, beginning to breathe easier with the reminder that you’re in very considerate company.

A/N: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. I’ll be back in a few days with part 4! You can also find my notes and commentary on this fic right here on Ao3. Links to the playlist and moodboard for [N]MbD can be found on this blog’s pinned post, as well as in the series notes on Ao3. Image Sources: x - x - x

[paranormaljones]

so i have my first official dnd character now

his name is Dusk and he's a silly little caracal-inspired tabaxi bard cowboy guy okay i have to go to sleep now bye

[magicalgirlmindcrank]

Blehhh

[imogenkol]

update on the whole tooth situation: I need surgery 🙃

[andorerso]

I think I lost my rebelcaptain pin 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

[itsmistyeyedbi]

There's so much I want to write and so much I want to read, but I can't fully engage with much of anything right now and it's killing me😭

[yunogf]

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[selamat-linting]

resignation letter is the most potent painkiller. i love you resignation letter i love you one month notice <3

[agendratum]

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[youredreamingofroo]

i've just been reminded of one of my favorite things in all of RDR2 and it's Arthur's journal,,, I loved doing stuff around the world, hunting specifically, and remembering that Arthur will just passively and occasionally draw or write something,,, There's something beautiful about that which makes me love the game so much more, like I would scope out some birds, discover a new species and the next day when I woke up and checked the journal, Arthur drew those birds and it just made me smile, it makes him feel much more human, and makes the journal much more worth it to look at and isn't just some feature to tell you about this or that, it's *actually* a journal that he uses,,, Now granted it is a bit weird that his journal has infinite pages, but idc LMAOO I'm just here to appreciate the beautiful nature of Arthur's journal

[study-core-101]

so im gonna have a lot of free time in about a few days so if anyone is interested in a specific type of tips/techniques/etc just hit me up.

[mwagneto]

i've literally been non stop studyinf for a week i can physically feel my entire body shutting down. im not making it out of this fr