#gonna cut my hair in a bit so i am appreciating this because i am cutting my hair short

[rosecoloredknight]

🌊💙

[bebe-writes-stuff]

I been lurking around your page for a min now n I love your work!^^ Can you pleaseeee do a taju x chubby reader

yesss, also, I finished my exams finally, so now I have a bunch of free time. I'm definitely gonna post more!!

@caramelswirlwithacherryontop

Taiju x chubby reader

I'll see you on Wednesday at 5:30 sharp. in front of the Underwater aquarium. It's a date.

WOW HE'S DIRECT!

You thought, pretty stunned.

But prior to this text, a few weeks ago, You were with Yuzuha. It was nearing sundown and you were walking beside her, listening to her ramble about whatever. That's how you usually were, you weren't always aware of what's going on but you were happy anyway.

"But Yuzuha, you really didn't have to beat that guy up. It was just a silly comment, you know, just a joke." You laughed nervously, tugging on the sleeves of your uniform.

"Huh, What do you mean?! That bastard totally deserved it. That wasn't a joke, Y/n. That guy insulted you and no way was he gonna get away with it." She muttered before turning to you and continued,

"Hey, you gotta stand up for yourself with guys like that. Because if they get away without it the first time, they'll keep doing it." She scolded you, almost like a mother scolding her child, despite you basically being the same age.

You looked to the side, tearing up, remembering your classmate's rude comment "He wasn't wrong, Yuzuha. I am ugly and fat."

"No no, please don't cry. Y/n, Your worth goes far beyond what you see in the mirror. And I appreciate you for who you are, not just for how you look. Your personality, kindness, and strength are what truly matter. If anything, he is ugly! He is a loser and stupid." She cupped your soft face before wiping away your tears and hugging you tightly.

You laughed at her attempted to insult him,

"Do you wanna go to the park? We can swing for a bit." She suggested, You nodded, excitedly.

On the way to the park, Yuzuha continued rambling about her math teacher and how much she hated the class. The park was in view when Yuzuha stopped walking and muttered,

"Huh? Is that Mitsuya and...Taiju?" Her question made you look up and squint trying to see who was there and she was right.

"Yeah, looks like it." You answered.

Yuzuha started sprinting towards them, "Hey, Mitsuya!" She shouted. He turned towards Yuzuha's call and waved, smiling. Taiju was sitting on one of the benches in the park while Luna and Mana were playing with him. Luna was brushing his hair, putting bright colored extensions and also using bright colored hair ties while Mana was putting fake nails on his nails. The sight was hilarious. Whilst Yuzuha was distracted with Mitsuya, who wasn't far, you were hesitant but you sat next to Taiju. You watched as both girls gave Taiju a makeover. Suddenly, you heard a familiar ring tone.

"Is that-" You were cut off by the two little girls,

"ICE CREAM TRUCK!" They screeched in unison, excited. They both took off running towards and Mitsuya obviously followed before they got lost, leaving you and Taiju alone, together, on the bench. You had spoken to Taiju before, actually, if anything you found yourself always gravitating to him, or admiring him from afar, never admitting your feelings towards him. Even when Yuzuha asked, she didn't mind, she was curious. But An uneasy silence settled between you, punctuated by hesitant glances, revealing the palpable awkwardness in the air. You peeked last time, only to see Taiju struggling to remove the fake nails Mana had put on. He was picking at non-stop.

"You need help with that?" You finally spoke, breaking the silence. He stopped before moving his hands toward you. You grabbed his hand, before gently removing each nail carefully so as not to hurt him.

So soft

He thought as he stared at your face the entire process before his free hand reached up and tugged a strand of hair behind your ear.

"Pretty." He whispered.

Blushing and stammering, you found yourself unexpectedly flustered as the subtle charms of the flirtation caught you off guard, leaving you feeling delightful yet a little disoriented.

"A-alright, I'm done." Accidentally stumbling over words. You looked around, Mitsuya and Yuzuha were nowhere in sight.

Wait, did they leave?

"It's getting late, shouldn't you get home soon." Taiju suddenly said, making you jump.

You scrambled to get on your feet, "Yeah, you're totally right, I'll get going-"

"I'll walk you home." He deadpanned,

"whAt." Your voice cracked,

"It's too dangerous for a pretty girl like you to be walking around at this time. There's plenty of shitty delinquents out there." He explained, standing up, towering over you entirely.

"O-okay, whatever you see best."

"Good girl."

Despite your efforts to hide your growing embarrassment, Your body language betrayed your emotions. avoiding direct eye contact, and occasionally tripping over your words. The unexpected attention left you feeling both surprised and self-conscious, creating a memorable moment of flustered charm. Once you reached your front door, You felt Taiju step closer and lean against you, pinned you against the door itself.

"I'll see you on Wednesday at 5:30 sharp. in front of the Underwater aquarium. It's a date."

His straightforwardness made you also wanna become frank with him. You wanted to be honest and do what your body told you to. You reached out and cupped his face, maintaining eye contact which you were avoiding. In sync with your motion, Taiju leaned in, Your lips met in a tender dance, a silent conversation of longing and connection. Time seemed to pause as the world faded away, leaving only the warmth of the shared moment. It was a gentle collision of emotions, a sweet blend of passion and intimacy that spoke volumes without a single word.

In the meantime, Yuzuha and Mitsuya high-fived somewhere, stalking you guys, and see how long it'll take until one of you makes a move.

[katsu28]

hiii request for jamie tartt here🫡 i loved ur recent fic sm!!! could you maybe do the acacia flower or sunflower prompt? in my head i see hiding their relationship bc reader is a teammates sibling, but oopsie someone got heart eyes and started rambling haha

or literally anything else is fine too if this doesn’t strike your fancy lol<3 tysm!!!

hello!! i loved this so much, u are a gem for requesting it <3

acacia: a hidden relationship + sunflower: drunken rambling about their adoration, jamie tartt x kent!reader (no physical descriptors so imagine whatever sibling type u want!), 2k

“Are you sure we can’t tell him about us?” Jamie’s voice from where he was fixing his hair in the mirror pulled you away from your book and you glanced over at him. 

This was a question he posed to you all the time, and every single time, your answer was the same—though getting more creative with the details with every occurance. 

“Do you want my brother to gouge your eyeballs out? Cut off your dick? Possibly murder you?” 

Jamie paled, freezing in place. “Not particularly.” 

“Then no, we can’t tell Roy we’re seeing each other.” You picked up your book again, ready to resume your reading, but Jamie let out a noise resembling that of a kicked puppy’s whine. His shoulders slumped and he trudged over to you, throwing himself down on the bed in front of your crossed legs. 

Setting your book aside for good this time, you watched him make himself comfortable with his head in your lap, cheek pressed against your thigh as he looked up at you with the puppy dog eyes to match his previous whine. 

“I hate all the secrets. I have to lie to him, straight to his scary face, every fuckin’ day. D’you know how stressful that is? How stressed I am?” He huffed. You bumped your knuckles against his chin affectionately.

It wasn’t fair, Jamie having to face Roy and lie everyday when you had to do it a tad less often, but it was a necessary evil. One day, you’d tell your brother, but first you had to figure out how. 

This, among other reasons, were the downsides to being in a secret relationship with Jamie. There were tons of upsides too, no doubt about it. 

You had the privilege of seeing a softer, sweeter side of him that was reserved only for you, but you couldn’t go out in public with him. Nights in were your favorite dates, but sometimes you wanted to go to a fancy restaurant and eat expensive food and share a dessert with your boyfriend without needing to worry about the tabloids having a field day of it all. 

You could already see the headlines if the press ever caught wind of your relationship—AFC Ricmond Star Jamie Tartt Bags Manager Roy Kent’s Sister. They’d stir shit up, claim that Jamie was only with you because your brother was in a position of power over him and who knows what else. 

Most of all, you certainly couldn’t let Roy find out you were seeing one of his players, especially not Jamie fucking Tartt. They were friends now, but he’d always been overly protective of his sisters ever since you were all kids. He’d throw a fit and probably kill Jamie, then you. Well, he probably wouldn’t go that far, but you’d definitely be on his bad side until he got over himself. And you loved your brother to death, but he was a dickhead sometimes. 

“I’m gonna get early wrinkles, love. You don’t want me to have those, do ya?” 

“I think you’d look adorable with wrinkles. Like a cute little old man.” You dotted a kiss to his forehead, attempting to smooth out the crinkle between his eyebrows with your thumb. 

“That’s not funny.” 

“It’s a bit funny.” 

“Right, since you obviously don’t appreciate my problems, I’m off.” Jamie heaved himself off the bed, forcing out a rather overexaggerated sigh. You smiled innocently at him and he rolled his eyes, his own soft smile still on his face. He leaned down to press a kiss to your lips before heading for the door. “Dunno when I’ll be back but don’t wait up for me, yeah?” 

“Have fun, my love. I’ll just be here, thinking about you with wrinkles.” 

“Still not funny!” 

The Greyhounds were out in full swing tonight. Colin had somehow managed to book an entire pub for a whole night so they could drink and have a good time without being swarmed by the press vying for any morsel of gossip about one of the best up and coming Premier League clubs. Good friends, good food, even better beer—what more could anyone ask for? 

Jamie had been taking full advantage of it. That, paired with the fact that he no longer had to follow that god awful diet that deprived him of his beloved ice cold beverage, had led him to where he was right now, leaning heavily against the bar, drunk off his ass due to some sort of drinking game Jan Maas had insisted on teaching him. 

See, tipsy Jamie was fun. Very generous, would offer to buy a round or two, good for a few funny stories the next day. Absolutely pissed Jamie was a textbook oversharer. He didn’t make much sense, so everyone just mumbled a ‘very cool, mate!’ or something of the sort, made sure he didn’t topple over—those kinds of things. 

Roy was nursing his own beer next to Jamie tonight, half-listening in contained amusement as the Mancunian babbled on and on about someone. Who the fuck it was, Roy had no idea, but it was good entertainment and had soon garnered the attention of the rest of the team. Maybe this could be another one of those funny stories they could joke about in the locker room tomorrow. 

“She don’t look anythin’ like you, thank god. Imagine—imagine that! A lady Roy. Shit’s mad!” Jamie mused, amber beer spilling over the lip of the pint. “Nah, she’s the prettiest and the funniest and the coolest person ever and I love her.” 

“Who the fuck are you talkin ‘bout, bruv?” Isaac asked incredulously, looking just as amused as everyone else.

“Mate, I’m talkin’ ‘bout me girlfriend,” Jamie said very as-a-matter-of-factly, like they should’ve known that. “Duh.” 

“You’ve got a girlfriend? Since fucking when?” 

Jamie counted off on his fingers, scrunching his nose in thought. “Erm…four, five months? Maybe six?” He shook his head quickly, correcting himself. “No, not six. Would’ve done something special for six, wouldn’t I?” 

“First I’m hearing of it. How ‘bout you boys, did you know Jamie had a girlfriend?” Isaac asked, looking around. A chorus of ‘no’s and similar answers sounded amongst the others. Jamie’s brow furrowed. “It’s settled then. Who’s got the heart of the great Jamie Tartt?” 

“Good rhyme, boyo!” Colin chimed in, clapping his best friend on the back. 

Isaac looked proud of himself. “Whoa. I’m a fucking poet and I didn’t even know it.” He accepted another few praises before turning his attention back to Jamie, who looked like he was thinking really long and hard about something. “Okay, back to you. Tell us about her.” 

“I don’t even know where t’start, man,” Jamie sighed happily, resting his chin in his palm. “She’s kind and warm and—and she knows me better than anyone. It’s like…it’s like she’s an angel.” 

It was kind of weird, hearing Jamie be so open about his feelings for another person. He’d always been one to play things close to the vest, so that’s how they knew things with this secret girlfriend had to be serious. 

Sam beamed, happy as ever that his friend had found someone special. “Surely the angel from above has a name? Maybe one of us knows her?”

“Y/N.” 

The room fell silent. Everyone turned to look at Roy, who looked like he was about to start punching dicks. 

“Y/N, like…Roy’s sister, that Y/N?” Sam replied hesitantly, drawing pointed looks from every single one of his teammates. “I’m just confirming! There are other people named Y/N in London, you know.” 

Jamie pointed in his teammate’s general direction, nodding aimlessly. “Yep, her. That’s my girl.” 

Roy stood from his seat without a word, grabbing Jamie under the arm and dragging him towards the door. 

“Hey man, what the fuck are you—” 

“Just fucking shut up, will you?” 

“Okay.” 

You were about to call it quits on finishing your book and turn in for the night when the doorbell rang. When you went to open it, you definitely weren’t expecting to see your brother standing on your doorstep, practically carrying your half asleep boyfriend and looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. 

“Your prick boyfriend got proper pissed. Where do I put him?” 

So Roy knew. And judging by the way Jamie was swaying on his feet, you guessed that he’d been the one to let the cat out of the bag. 

“Erm, couch is fine. I’ll get him settled later.” You opened the door a little wider to let them in and Roy grunted his acknowledgement, hauling Jamie over to the couch and promptly dumping him onto the cushions.

Jamie didn’t even flinch when his face hit the pillows, instead just letting out a dreamy sort of sigh and smacking his lips together without even opening his eyes. You were the one to roll him over onto his side, nudging the dustbin right near his head before covering him with a blanket. 

“How much did he drink?” You asked, smoothing the walnut mist strands away from his eyes. 

“Too fucking much, that’s how much.” Roy grumbled. He wandered over towards a different area of your flat, not wanting to wake Jamie. “Jan Maas taught him a Dutch drinking game, except that fucker can actually hold his alcohol.” 

You cast a fond glance back at your boyfriend, smiling softly at his peaceful face. “Yeah, this one can’t really drink much anymore. Said it’s because of your training regimen, the no beer thing.” 

“Of fucking course you’d know.” 

“I assume Jamie told you about us.” You said quietly, picking at a loose thread on the sleeve of your jumper instead of looking at Roy. Another vague low noise of acknowledgement from him, though it sounded a bit more strained this time. “If it helps you come to terms, Jamie’s been wanting to tell you for ages. I was the one who wanted to keep it under wraps.” 

“Why?” 

You let out a humorless chuckle, shaking your head. “‘Cause I knew what you’d think. Knew what you’d have to say about it.” 

“Are you a mindreader?” 

“No.” 

“Then how would you know what I’d think?” 

“Oh come on, Roy, you don’t think I know how you are? You get…dickish. I still remember you scaring off poor Billy Montgomery in year nine!” 

“Billy Montgomery was a fucking wanker, that’s why.” 

“Yeah, I know that now,” You huffed, scowling. Roy raised an expectant brow at you. “You’ve always been outspoken about the people I date. I just—I didn’t want you to be that way with Jamie. I know you’ve had your differences, and I know you’ve made up, but…I dunno, I was just worried about what you’d think of us.” 

“Do you love him?” Roy asked stiffly. There was a tic going in the hard line of his jaw when he forced his gaze to yours, and it almost looked like he was in the middle of shitting a brick. If you hadn’t been so nervous about his reaction, you probably would’ve laughed. 

“I do. A lot, actually. He’s…everything I could’ve asked for. Everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner.” 

“Then it shouldn’t fucking matter what I think.” Roy said. “Jamie makes you happy, and that is the only thing that matters.” 

To say you were taken aback was an understatement. You’d been so worried about how you thought your brother was going to react to the news, you never stopped to consider that maybe Jamie wasn’t the only person who’d been working to change for the better. 

“Thank you, Roy.” 

Caught up in your heartfelt sibling talk, neither of you had noticed Jamie had woken up and stumbled over to the two of you until he gathered the two of you into a rather squished hug.

“My two favorite people, the Kent siblings! You guys are the best!” He slurred, nuzzling into the embrace. Roy let out a growl, but he patted Jamie’s back stiffly nonetheless. You had to stifle another laugh at how utterly uncomfortable he looked right now. “Oh fuck, I think I’m gonna throw up—” 

“That’s it, I’m fucking leaving.” Roy shoved Jamie away from him, wiping his hands off on the front of his jacket and heading for the front door. “Make sure he doesn’t choke on his own vomit and tell him he’s still got training tomorrow, I don’t care how shitty he feels!”

follow @katsu-library to be notified when i post new fics :)

[hogans-heroes]

@avonne-writes and @slowsweetlove I just had to combine these because an idea wouldn’t leave me alone 🥰

Gale had tried to wrangle Bucky out of “borrowing” two bikes outside the London pub they had just left, but Bucky couldn’t be told anything when he was sober much less absolutely plastered, so of course Gale had lost the battle and was now pedaling as carefully as he could through the dark streets, barely keeping up with Bucky who was weaving all over and singing at the top of his lungs.

It was after midnight, and though the blackout rules made sure hardly a sliver of light was visible, the sky was clear and the moon gave enough light to see by. They weren’t far from their hotel—apparently Bucky was a good navigator even while soused—and Gale began to slow down in preparation for their next turn over the uneven, perpetually wet cobblestone.

Bucky did not slow down. He swooped into the turn with all the valor of a fighter pilot, but when the front wheel struck a hole, physics prevailed. The bike flew one way and Bucky the other, the latter smashing into a stack of crates and rolling onto the sidewalk.

“Bucky!” Gale cried, skidding to a stop. Jumping off the bike, he rushed over to extract Bucky from the pile of broken crates.

“M’fine,” muttered Bucky, shoving Gale’s fretting hands away and clambering to his feet. His hair was a mess and his flushed, scowling face was enough to make Gale snort, trying to hold back a laugh.

“Oh that was funny was it?” Bucky griped, though the twinkle in his eyes betrayed him. He tried to take a step, but one foot had gotten wedged in a crate and he went down heavily in another clatter. His subsequent struggles to free himself made such a racket that a few stray cats fled for lives and Gale lost the battle with laughter, kneeling to save Bucky from his wooden assailant. By the time he was free both boys were wheezing and teary with laughter, and it wasn’t until Gale had pulled Bucky to his feet that he saw the telltale dark patches of blood on Bucky’s head and arms where his sleeves were rolled up.

“Ah shit, you’re hurt,” he blurted, still lightheaded from laughing as he grabbed Bucky’s elbow. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Bucky looked down at himself, grunted, and threw his arm over Gale heavily, leaning his entire weight. Gale rolled his eyes and adjusted to Bucky’s weight as he stacked the bicycles against the nearest wall, hoping their rightful owners would find them. With Bucky putting in minimum effort to walk, Gale wobbled them both the rest of the way to the hotel, frowning a little when he got a better glimpse of Bucky’s cuts and bruises under the lobby lights. They weren’t that bad, but still.

“Got a first aid kit in my bag,” he muttered. “You’re coming to my room first.”

Bucky hummed and offered no protest, so Gale took him up the elevator and to his own room, dropping him on the bed as he dug the little kit out of his belongings.

Bucky stayed unusually silent. Even when Gale returned and started examining the scrapes and small cuts littering his exposed skin, Bucky allowed the exam with half-lidded eyes. Only when Gale went to the bathroom and returned with a wet cloth did he break the silence.

“So, what’s the prognosis, Doc?” he drawled, still drunk but not completely out of it. “Am I gonna live?”

Gale hummed reproachfully, focusing on cleaning the worst cuts, softening his touch when Bucky winced. This made Bucky scowl and shove at Gale’s thigh, the closest thing within reach.

“Stop babying me,” he said.

“I’m not trying to baby you,” Gale shot back. “It’s called taking care of you. And if you’d not make it harder I’d appreciate it.”

Bucky fell silent again, this time with a little pout on his face that Gale refused to think was cute. He finished cleaning and applied the cream, fingers lingering just a bit on Bucky’s warm skin. When he was finished, Bucky swallowed, licking his lips.

“Can I stay with you tonight?” he slurred quietly. “Instead of my own room. I just…really don’t want to be alone right now.”

He sounded ashamed, not meeting Gale’s eyes, and Gale sighed.

“You haven’t been alone in three years, Bucky,” he said as he stuffed the supplies back in the pack. “It’s impossible in the air corps. Even when you’re on leave you’ve always got a girl or something.” Gale wasn’t exactly bitter, but Bucky’s words were pushing some sort of buttons Gale didn’t know he had, it was two o’clock in the morning and he was tired and irritated.

“It’s not the same,” Bucky muttered, picking at the blanket. “Doesn’t mean anything.”

Gale huffed and started to pull off Bucky’s shoes when he made no move to do so. “And what’s it supposed to mean?”

Bucky shrugged. He stayed sitting on the bed quietly as Gale went to change his clothes and brush his teeth, and when Gale returned Bucky had shed his own uniform down to undershirt and shorts, already nestled under the covers. When Gale looked at him flatly, hands on his hips, Bucky turned his big innocent eyes up at him.

Gale sighed again, pretending to be put upon when really, deep down, he didn’t want to be alone either. Turning off the light, he lifted the covers and slid in beside John, letting John pull him close and tuck his chin over Gale’s head. It’s something they never talked about, but didn’t have to. Little meaningless things like pilfered bikes and sharing a bed were sometimes enough to protect their hearts from the war raging outside. How could John’s breath in his hair, so tender, so fragile, make him feel so safe?

[xsweetcatastrophe]

You Broke Me First

Part 30

"There she is," Cillian said one Zoe answered his facetime. He chuckled at her appearance. "Everything okay?"

Zoe's hair was in a messy bun atop her head, with fly-aways sticking out every which way. She had an old gray college t-shirt with the arms cut off, and a pair of workout shorts. She was sweating profusely and face was red.

"I'm over here making this house a home!" She said, right before Scout started barking. "Scout, stop!"

"Everything okay?" Cillian said, eyebrow raised. Scout was usually very well behaved, and never gave him a problem. Sure, when he was a puppy he got into things out of sheer curiosity, but never bit, never barked, never attacked, just a good, good boy.

"Well, your neighbors have dogs that are out for walks 3 times a day. I took Scout out and met one of them, I tried to be friendly and make conversation, but then realized it wasn't the home owner or the dog owner; it was the assistant to the owner. Then asked who I worked for as if I was an assistant," Zoe mumbed.

Cillian laughed. "I'm sorry Bunny. I hope you're not offended."

"I'm not, but it was the second time that happened today."

"What you mean?"

"When I signed for the couch, I asked how I should sign since the signature line had your name. He said I can sign my name because he 'deals with assistants all the time'. I guess I give off assistant energy instead of girlfriend energy"

"Fuck that. You're not a Hannah that's for damn sure."

you got that right.

Before Zoe could respond to that comment, Cillian spoke first.

"Show me what got delivered today."

Zoe flipped the camera around and showed the couch, end tables and coffee table that were assembled and arranged in the living rom. The TV was mounted over the fireplace and the rug was rolled out on the floor, ends still curling up because it was still so new.

"Cable and internet is coming later this afternoon, I'm starting to unpack the kitchen. Do you care where plates and cups go? Any cabinet preference?"

"Uh, no, no preference," Cillian chuckled. "Thanks babe. I owe you. I don't know what I would of done without you."

"You don't owe me, it's fine."

"Well I appreciate your help. I was stressed when all this was sprung upon me. the divorce came fast, the house came fast, then I had to up and leave for work," Cillian sighed, running his hand through his short hair.

"I'm here to make your life easier," Zoe smiled.

"What can I do to make your life easier?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

Cillian smiled. There was about 10 seconds of silence, Zoe thought Cillian was frozen.

"Hello?" Zoe said, wondering if he had a bad connection.

"Why do you do that?" Cillian finally spoke.

"What do you mean?"

"Deflect. Avoid talking about hard things. Or anything ,actually, that's on your mind. You love to make sure i'm okay, pick apart my brain, find out what makes me tick and make everything okay in my head, but you don't let anyone in. You don't talk about anything that's bothering you."

"It's easier helping other people, and besides I don't need help, I got it."

"I got it" Cillian mimicked, raising his voice an octave or two to sound like her. "You know we're a partnership, right? If you want to help me, I gotta help you. This isn't gonna work if you keep closing me off-"

"Woah, take it easy" Zoe interrupted. "Where is this coming from?"

Cillian sighed. "I want to do this right. but I can't do it without you putting in an effort too. I try to talk to you about serious stuff and you're quick to shut me down. Especially with me being over here, I want to do everything in my power to make this as easy as possible and you keep just saying 'it's fine, it's fine' and I feel like it's all falling on me, or you just don't care. It almost feels isolating because am I going crazy, is this not what it seems, am I -"

"Cillian, you're spiraling." Zoe interrupted. "Jesus. I thought you were just calling to see the couches."

Cillian sighed. "See, you think i'm calling because I just want to see the couches. I'm calling because I want to talk to you. Because I miss you. Because I wish I could jump through the phone and be with you. Fuck the couches."

Zoe plopped down on the said couch in defeat. "Okay," she said. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm new to all of this."

"I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to jump down your throat. I'm just tired, jet lagged, I hate my hair, I feel helpless with all you're doing at home, I want to come home" Cillian rattled off.

"How can I make this easier for you?" Zoe said.

"I just..." Cillian started. "I really want this to work. Me and you."

Zoe smiled. "You and me, remember?"

"How do you feel about us and me being here?"

"Wow, this is deep for 2pm," Zoe said, well aware she was, once again, deflecting.

"Yea well, it's 10pm here, and I'm on edge, my anxiety is through the roof, so we're doing this now."

"Okay, okay.... How do I feel about us and you being there....." Zoe started.

Cillian had a point. Zoe always avoided hard conversations. There have been plenty of times in the past where she spilled her heart out to a guy, and the guy either laughed at her or didn't take her seriously. Years and years of getting hurt will make you closed off. For a long time, she felt it was better off this way. Who could hurt her if she didn't let anyone close enough to? Her mother, maybe. But she moved to the other side of the coast to avoid that.

But Cillian... was different.

"I love every moment with you. I find myself missing you the second you leave, so you being over there so far for so long has me scared."

Cillian smiled, happy she opened up a teeny bit. He could work with this.

"Scared? Of what?"

"That you'll slowly forget about me. Out of sight, out of mind. You're surrounded by beautiful women, it's easy to get distracted, I'm easily forgotten-"

"Zoe," Cillian warned. She was doing it again, putting herself down.

"Sorry. I'm just... you know that saying, 'out of sight, out of mind?' It's true. In my mind, I already prepared how this could go if it goes south. We talk every day for the first couple of days, then its every other day, then it's once a week, then it just... fizzles out."

"Well," Cillian started. "You're never out of my mind, so get that out of your head. So you're worried communication will die down between us, and that's what will end us?"

"It happens," Zoe shrugged. "I'm never really a priority in relationships, and even if I am, it doesn't last long."

"What if I have Hannah send over my shooting schedule to you every week, and then we can arrange facetimes every day? That way it's a set time and it's not left for you to wonder when i'll be free. And, of course, regular texts in between."

Zoe smiled. "That would help. I'm sure Hannah will be thrilled"

"I don't care about her," Cillian replied. "I care about us. I care about YOU. I need you to believe me and trust me that you are my priority, and that when all this is done, I'm coming home to YOU. Do you understand?"

Zoe's heart skipped a beat. Something about the way Cillian was talking, she believed him. She was scared to open herself up again, she was scared to trust him, but ....

"Okay," Zoe smiled. "I believe you. I trust you. I miss you. I want this to work as much as you do. I'm sorry that I don't show that enough."

Cillian smiled. "You show me in different ways. You may not say it, but when you were triple checking my packing list on the day I left, or the way you buy me that special brand tea that you can only get on the side of town to keep a box at your apartment for when I'm there, or always making sure I have pickle juice out when you pop popcorn because you know I like to pour it on top... You may not always say I love you, but you say it in different ways."

"That pickle and popcorn shit is disgusting." Zoe said, monotone.

"Don't knock it till you try it."

Zoe rolled her eyes.

"Okay, I'll have Hannah send over the schedule tomorrow morning. I think I'm done filming at 8pm tomorrow, so noon your time. I'll confirm."

"Okay."

"I need to get some sleep. I love you, Zoe. Me and you."

"You and me. I love you too."

They hung up and Zoe sighed.

She was nervous, but felt relieved. This could work. She loved him, she wants to try for HIM. For the sake of their relationship. It's time Zoe was happy for once.

She was about to close her eyes when the doorbell rang. The cable and internet people were here early. Scout went crazy over the doorbell, and Zoe groaned.

"Back to work."

______________________________________________________________

Halfway across the world, Cillian groaned as his alarm went off at 7am.

It was the first day of shooting, and Cillian wasn't feeling his best.

He was slightly irritated, if he would of known he was starting to film so early he would of flown out earlier to adjust to the jet lag. Everything now felt rushed and he was groggy and tired.

He opened his phone and shot a quick text to Zoe, letting her know he was awake and showering and he would text her when he got to set and when he was putting his phone away.

He jumped in the shower, making the water colder than normal, hoping it would help wake him up. Once he got out, he got dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants, and as he was brushing his teeth there was a knock on the door.

"Good morning!" Hannah said cheerily, walking into the room. "I have your tea here, and your wardrobe for the day will be in the trailer on set. Are you ready to go?"

Cillian, although annoyed to see Hannah and her bubbly spirit so early in the morning, was thankful for the tea.

Cillian went back to the bathroom to finish brushing his teeth, then grabbed the tea and took a sip.

"Thank you," He said.

"Anytime, I suggest we head out. I have your schedule here-"

"Oh, hey, I have a job for you if you don't mind."

"Of course!"

"Every week, email the shooting schedule to Zoe."

"Why?" Hannah said, her voice no longer bubbly.

"Because we're figuring out times to talk to each other and squeeze video calls in, so I want her to have a copy of the schedule. I know you have her email, can you just do that for me, please?" Cillian asked nicely. He was not in the mood for an argument right now.

Hannah wanted to scream. But, she painted a smile on her face. "Sure. no problem. I'll get right on that," She replied, the last part sounding a little too sarcastic for her liking. It was 100000% sarcasm to her, but she couldn't let Cillian know that.

Her phone buzzed, interrupting her train of thought. "Driver is outside. Ready?"

Cillian slipped on his shoes and jacket and they both made their way downstairs, into the waiting car.

Once they arrived on set, Cillian headed to his trailer where he was met with the hair stylist, having to trim his sides since his hair started to grow back.

Once the hair was done and he was in his required wardrobe for the day, he headed out to the first scene. Halfway there, he stopped short.

"Shit, I still have my phone," He mumbled. He was already running a little behind schedule, and the thought of having to walk back to the trailer stressed him out.

"I can hold onto it for you" Hannah said, smiling. "I know it's no phones allowed and I see you more than you getting to go back to your trailer, I can just hold it for you."

"Yea? You don't mind?"

Hannah smiled. "Of course not."

"Thanks, Hannah," Cillian said. "You're a lifesaver. Don't forget that schedule to Zoe, please?"

"Don't you worry Cill," Hannah said, watching him walk to set. "I'll take care of everything," She looked down at the phone, praying he didn't a passcode on it.

He did. Shit.

She tried his birthday. It didn't work. She tried just his year, didn't work. She had to be careful, she knew if she entered too many incorrect passwords the phone would lock her out. What else could there be?

"hmmm...there's no way...." Hannah said to herself, trying the simplest combination: 11111.

phone unlocked.

Hannah smiled. "Men" She scoffed.

She now had access to Cillian's calendar, phone calls, emails... and text messages.

"Don't worry, Cillian," Hannah said out loud, hovering over Zoe's contact, containing her phone number and email address. "I'll get .. some sort... of schedule over to Zoe. Don't you worry."

tags: @lau219 @borntodiemp3 @cillianmurphyvevo @shopgirl6us

[subhumanselflover]

Hello, can you do smut to fluff with Baiken getting impregnated by the reader and then how she would be as a mom? Thanks

note: okay. i'm not gonna lie this is a scary request for me because this is NOT subject matter i'm used to, and i still need to figure out how to write baiken.. especially in this particular scenario. however, i am an encourager of playing with canon like dolls, and don't wanna leave ya waiting any longer, anon. anyways, i'm formatting it as a few scenarios. if you want more and something more specific, my ko-fi is linked in my pinned :3 also no offense anon but i chuckled a little at this being the third request i got. lightheartedly, i feel like i've been hit with the writer's equivalent of "now draw her pregnant". okay, anyways, enough mar yapping, hope you enjoy

Baiken x Reader NSFW, Dearest

Hands wandering over her, you worked to please the samurai under you. Thrusting into Baiken's warm wetness, she let out a quiet, growling moan, reaching for your head to pull lightly at your hair. "I'm getting close, Baiken," You warned her, trying to be polite, which she usually appreciated. "Mm, I can tell," She said with a smirk, clearly a bit softer than usual. "Cum inside this time," She demanded, leaving little room for argument, or anything of the sort. And so, without wanting to displease her, you did.

Something about that was.. strange. Baiken seemed to have no interest in motherhood before. Sure, she had practically adopted Delilah, and done a damn good job taking care of her, but she had never willingly talked of being a mother. But due to the fact that she fell asleep right after sex, snoring rather loudly next to you, you couldn't talk to her about it until the morning. For now, you curled up with her in your arms, and decided you'd make it the topic of conversation over breakfast.

And when the morning came, you brought it up to her. However, Baiken being Baiken, simply stated that she decided she'd like to be a mother. She wanted to give someone a life that had been better than hers, at least as much as she could control. Understanding, you began to prepare together to become parents.

Baiken's pregnancy was not easy. The emotions were.. difficult to deal with, and you swore you were going to get your head cut off one of these days. All in all, you did your best to take care of her, but she took it the wrong way on a fair amount of days. "You think I can't take care of myself?" She'd growl, and you tried not to make a big deal of defending yourself, as that would only likely make it worse. You both did your best.

(I am not writing anything about childbirth. If you wanted that, I remind you that my ko-fi is in my pinned post.)

In the early days of having a newborn, Baiken got up many nights to deal with your child crying. She'd grumble as she left your shared bed, but if you went in to check on her, you'd find her lovingly holding the child in her arms, trying as she could to soothe the little one. As she held the child, she gave you a dirty look, as if you hadn't seen her act soft before. You laugh to yourself a little. When you left the room, she kissed the newborn on the head, and put them down into the crib once they stopped crying. As you had went back to bed, you notice in the morning that Baiken didn't rejoin you-- no, you found her the next morning sitting on the chair adjacent to the crib in the child's nursery. She had stayed all night, just in case she was needed again.

[theflyindutchwoman]

I have 3 things to talk about…

1. How nice it was to see Tim talk to the guys about his fight with Lucy. I’m literally shocked that he was so open with them! I love that he’s growing, opening up and confiding people that aren’t just Lucy and Angela (And Genny to an extent) he was so many friends now!

2. I am unable to move past how married™️ and sweet and domestic it is that Lucy calls tim to get the bugs at home 🥹 and how she suspected that he was just killing them but didn’t say anything and Tim was like pretending to set them outside even tho he wasn’t because he appreciates how empathic she is to even bugs 😭 I just can’t get over the idea that badass Lucy Chen is scared of bugs, well maybe not scared but whatevs, and makes her grumpy boyfriend take care of them but still insists he doesn’t just kill the scary bugs — do we think post Jackson death, pre-Chris she would call Tim over to handle the super big ones? Omg can you imagine? I’m dead

3. Can we talk about how the dance was like the biggest indicator we’ve ever had that these two are so FREAKIN TACTILE WITH EACH OTHER! Like it was kinda obvious before that their shared love language is touch, but I feel like you really, very clearly see that in the dance. And I just 😭 they love each other so much and just want to touch and snuggle and be with the other so much.

I am still very unwell. And I haven’t even processed the ILY’s fully yet so we’re not gonna go there 😂😂😂

Just when I thought I had recovered enough, you decide to send me this. This is a live footage of me right now :

. The 'bug scene' Listen, after the dance, this might be my favorite part of the episode. This scene was the cutest thing ever… and yes, it was peak married energy. Let's be real here : what is the point of having a boyfriend if it's not to have him take out the trash and deal with the bugs? (just kidding!). Seriously though… Lucy once said that she used to treat the coackroaches in her first apartment as pets (3.11 I think), so it's not like she is fundamentally scared of bugs. Neither is Tamara for that matter. She just wanted Tim to take care of them, in a very Lucy way. But the fact that she knew he was killing them all along but pretended not to know is perfect. Again, that is so her. And then, add the other layer to that scene. Out of all the questions she could have asked, she chose this one. I feel like it was her way of diffusing the tension, of making Tim more comfortable by asking such an innocent question, with no stake at all, before bringing up the real issue between them.

. Tim at the bachelor's party scene You have no idea how much I wish that part had been a little bit longer, so we could see more of the reactions. Still, I love how this scene was cut, with the back and forth between the two parties. How both of them needing to confide their frustrations to other people. And you're right, this is huge for Tim. At best, he would open up to Lucy (obv not an option here) or Angela. Maybe Genny. But certainly not someone like Randy who he barely knows and who can't keep a secret. Or even Aaron… His former aide. That's how much this relationship is important to him. It may have started as a way for him to vent but he also wanted to hear some advices. And he did listen to Randy's suggestion - of all people.

. The dance On the one hand, did anyone still have any doubt that these two are so tactile with one another? The undercover mission was all the confirmation we needed, really. But on the other hand… I didn't think it was possible for them to be even more tactile. It's somehow more intense, more intimate… It just shows how much they craved reassurance. They needed that touch to ground themselves. Lucy needed to play with his lapel and he needed to pull her in closer to him. And don't get me started on how she was playing with his hair or caressing his face. IN PUBLIC. There was no room for Jesus in that dance. She was looking at him the same way she did before 'naked times'… And where did they sneak off after that dance? 👀

[jacksdinonuggets]

~First Time Babysitter~

Summary: Its Lucifer's first time babysitting for both Charlie and Vaggie. he's a bit confused but does his best to help out.

Feel free to request any little Charlie or Little Vaggie idea's. I always appreciate getting asks and am overjoyed every time i get a notification in my inbox

Charlie and Vaggie were both having a rough day and decided to regress together. Husk was the only available to watch them so he had to babysit them. It was tough, especially because Charlie was being this hyperactive child. She kept trying to draw on the walls and run around. Husk knew he needed a drink. His raging alcoholism was a coping mechanism for him.

Vaggie was more on the shy side. She didn’t really trust him and was clingy to her demon plushy the whole time. He must’ve scared her. She needed a more kind, fatherly babysitter. Not him. So he defeatedly pulled out his phone and called Lucifer. Hwo did he get his number? Lucifer literally gave it out the last time her was there.

“Wassup, Husker Fuck,” Lucifer tried to sound like a fun dad with his very chill cool kid slang.

“Don’t call me that. Just- Come over to the hotel into Charlie and Vaggie’s room, It’ll be easier to just explain in person,” He pinched the bridge of his nose. Vaggie had started crying and he had no idea how to deal with it. He didn’t know what she needed, especially since she was mostly non-verbal. Sometimes she would speak a couple of words but that was it. it wasn't too loud but it was noticeable.

“Is- Is that vaggie crying-”

“Yes! Just come over, please,” Husk hung up the phone. Not even a minute passed before a puff of sparkly smoke formed and Lucifer appeared.

“Alright, Husker, what-” He cut himself off, staring at the situation in front of him. Everyone was in baby get-up. Vaggie was already crying but now she was wailing, clearly embarrassed. She hugged her demon plushy tightly and tried to hide behind it. Charlie was just happy to see her dad because she hugged his leg.

Husk caught Lucifer staring in confusion and realized that he didn’t know about his daughter’s coping mechanism.

“Okay, so, Vaggie and Charlie are both age regressors. Basically it just means they revert back to a mentally younger state. They had a rough day today so now they’re having a playdate. Can you please watch them? I aint cut out for this,” He told Lucifer. The king of hell nodded in understanding. He could see how this could help someone.

“Alright, I think I understand. They’re basically just babies right now?”

“Vaggie is feeling 2, but Charlie is feeling 3. I’m gonna go grab a drink, good luck,” He gave his warning before leaving the room.

Lucifer didn’t understand fully what this was and thought it looked a little weird at first but he really needed vaggie to stop wailing. He tried walking over to her but Charlie was attached to his leg. He dragged her over to vaggie and kneeled down in front of her. He just needed to treat her like the age she was feeling.

“Hey, M-Vaggie, its okay, you don’t gotta be embarrassed.” he sat down and put her in his lap. Charlie wanted attention but she was patient and silently waited for her turn.

Vaggie actually managed to calm down quickly with him. She didn’t know what it was or if it was just his personality, but she felt safer, and more comfortable with him. The meltdown she had earlier was due to anxiety about regressing around Husk but now she felt content.

“There you go, it’ll be alright,” he pet her hair.

Charlie was now started to get impatient because she threw her moth plushy at him, trying to get him to pay attention to her.

“Hey!” Lucifer warned.

“Wan attention too!” Charlie pouted angrily. Lucifer sighed.

“Alright, Come here, Duckling,” He told her. She scooted up to him and leaned against his chest from the side, just like Vaggie. 

The two were cuddling him and did not want to get off of him. After a while, Lucifer’s legs were starting to fall asleep and he needed a break from cuddles for a sec.

“Alright, why don’t you two play with your toys?” he suggested. 

“No, more cuddles,” Charlie mumbled.

“Come on, guys, my legs fell asleep,” He whined, hoping they would understand.

“Deal wif it, dada,” She told him. She always had sass when she was younger so it made sense that she had it when she was feeling younger

Finally, after what felt like forever, they both got uncomfortable with the leaning position they were in and went to go play with their toys. He was surprised they didn’t get bored faster. 

Charlie and Vaggie were playing with their stuffed animals while Lucifer watched over them. With this new information, he had a lot to think on. Maybe he could finally be there for his daughter. He could take care of her again and be a better father than he was when she was physically younger. He smiled to himself, happily knowing he got his little girl back.

[justallihere]

I️ LOVE and ADORE Xaden going from “I️ don’t care about you or your feelings 🙄” to “Why wouldn’t I️ come for you and take you home? 🥺”

It really reminds me of this post where someone made the commentary about Xaden refusing to coddle and be nice to Violet, even downright being an asshole about it

To giving her his flight jacket because gods forbid Violet be cold for the 2-3 minutes they would’ve stood in formation!

Love love love that growth for him, like yes king! Tell us how much you love her through your actions! Give her that flight jacket and everything!

Chapter 35 was such a GIFT! I️ loved it so much! From Mira and Xaden shelving their dislike for each other for V’s sake and just mother henning her! Loved Xaden taking care of her and reaffirming that she can be upset at the threat against her hair and the autonomy she would have been robbed of, had Aetos actually cut it. I️ love how gentle he was, making sure she was okay, even arguing with Tairn about it on the flight home because their whole dynamic in canon is just over protective dragon meets over protective enemy to mutually assured destruction to lovers, and amari give us mercy that Violet gets injured around either one of them.

I️ was so shocked and legit almost cried at the confession because bby boy X was NOT letting her think that he didn’t love her! Really gives a whole “Aretia could burn and I️ wouldn’t care as long as I️ had you.” vibe to it and I️. Am. Not. Okay!!! I️ am not normal or sane about this love confession! V is getting some HONESTY out of this man without having to jump through 5 million hoops or questions about it. X really just said it with both tiddies and his full chest!!

I️ also really loved the display of Rhi and Xaden’s conversation. He knows how much Rhi means to Violet, and having her best friend with her is the best thing for her! I’m so nervous and excited to see if you include a convo with the rest of the squad about her torture sessions and just showing how much they all love her! Cam was right! Everyone who knows Violet Sorrengail is a little bit in love with her!!

I’m curious if Violet is gonna think about how she basically begged for her mom to come with them to Aretia, when she was freed and I️ wonder what Xaden would have done if Lilith had actually planned to go with her daughter… thoughts and theories I��� suppose!!

God Alli, there are so many little things about this chapter that I️ adored and so little time to write about it! I LOVE this fic so much that I️ always am ready to read the next chapter immediately! So ready!! I️ hope this doesn’t pressure you too much but I️ did want to say that I️ adore this fic so much!! 10/10 would highly recommend!!

Also I️ hope my sleep-deprived ramblings made sense lol! Thank you for such a wonderful story and I️ cant wait for the next chapter 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Xaden’s growth has been so fun to write. Just the little moments of his growing respect for Violet, realizing he actually likes her, falling in love—it’s been one of my favorite things about this fic

Thank you! I had a great time with the two contrasting sides of Xaden in this chapter: the version of him who loves Violet and will wipe her tears and do anything for her, and the version that is just an absolute asshole to anyone who isn’t her 😂 if your name isn’t Violet Sorrengail he really doesn’t give a fuck

There’s some squad bonding next chapter 🫶🏻

Violet will definitely be reckoning with that conversation with her mom at some point—Lilith said she’d come, but will she really? Xaden would let it happen for Violet, of course, but it wouldn’t be an easy adjustment lol

Thank you so much for reading and for this ask, I appreciate you 🩷🩷🩷

[dreamerinthemoonlight]

Genshin as Boyfriend HCs: Part One (Kaeya, Xiao, Thoma)

Fuck it. I think if I work on my original project any longer I’m going to scream bloody murder. I am realizing that a post apocalyptic (taking the world population down to a couple million level apocalypse) story that doesn’t take place in the chaos/murder/destruction/warlords/shit just hit the fan time period is incredibly difficult. Especially since I’m generally anti-shortcut. How do I solve being overwhelmed? Fluffy Head canons. Because the Genshin guys live rent fee in my brainpan. Let’s see... Kaeya, Xiao, and Thoma. Please be kind on Xiao and Thoma. I don’t know Xiao very well and have only written for each of them once

GN reader

Fluff under the cut

Kaeya

I know we head canon Kaeya as a huge tease--which he is, ain’t gonna lie--but I think he’d be crazy sweet

High up on the level of most observant boyfriends ever. Wait... That’s most every one on my “Genshin character’s I will write for” list hehe

But no, seriously, he pays attention and even though he’s a tease, he’d definitely know where to draw the line

Also as charming as he is, I bet it backfires sometimes

I bet he picked you up for a date early on in your relationship and cuz he’s charming as fuck, he gave you roses

One problem, I don’t think he’s the most experienced with relationships. It’s the whole secrets thing, ya know.

SO I can see him being super excited, but hiding it really, really well

Until he gave you those roses I mentioned. Roses made using his vision. Roses that melted in your hands because he was so excited and wanted to impress you so much he didn’t think it all the way through

Any passerby died laughing. You just give him a look like “really, Kaeya? Really?” 

Though there’s a chance you both start laughing, because Kaeya just isn’t the kind to take that hard. He’s embarrassed, but he laughs.

You like to bring this up every now and then just to get a reaction out of him (It’s fucking hilarious)

After that he’s a bit more successful

Still extremely sweet and supportive despite his charm

PDA is definitely a thing, unless you’re super uncomfortable with it--which he will pick up

In private, he’s always touching you. Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, brushing shoulders, he just likes the physical contact

Xiao

Xiao and dating

That’s a hard one. I mean, he makes me seem like a successful extrovert which I am not

I think you two would be a very private couple, in large part because he is a very introverted private person

But you respect this and don’t push him too hard

Dates often consist of hanging out on a rooftop or somewhere else quiet

I think the two of you do a lot of hand holding or linking pinkies, things that are subtle, but soft and meaningful all the same. 

The fact that he’s willing to do so, and eventually seeks it out makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside

Speaking of dates

He definitely went to Zhongli for advice and followed that advice to the T

You two had a very traditional Liyue style date. Which you enjoyed. You appreciated that he put in so much effort and went so far despite his introversion and discomfort around people---it really makes you want to go the extra mile too On a side note, someone please update Zhongli on dating practices. I know he’s aware of what goes on in Liyue, but I can’t see him being totally up to date. 

After that you do a lot of the planning, making sure to take both of your preferences into account, which he appreciates

Despite his introversion and strong boundaries, which take time to get through, he’s always there for you and ever so slowly he starts to let you be there for him

Thoma

This guy is what you call on top of it

Of the three I think he’s the only one who really hits his stride from the get go

He managed to take you on a date even you didn’t think you would want

Flowers, dinner, nice sunsets, it’s no wonder he’s so well regarded by Ayato and Ayaka

On a day to day basis, the guy is busy, but he still makes time for you whenever he can

He’s definitely the kind to randomly sweep, mop, and just take care of extra chores around the house while you’re off on some sort of adventure, not just because he wants to support you but because he really enjoys cleaning. And it’s not like you’re going to complain

On his days off you’re definitely his first choice for company

Definitely take you to see the cats outside of Inazuma City

It’s a very domestic relationship

There’s not a ton of PDA, because he is a figure so strongly associated with the Kamisato Clan, but he really does like to hold hands, ruffle your hair, little stuff like that

At home, after a day of cleaning and serving Ayato and Ayaka, he’s happy to sit and cuddle with you, talking or not talking

And if you fall asleep on him, he’ll definitely let you stay there for a bit, watching the play of dreams on your face he’s smitten before picking you up and tucking you in bed. 

He actually likes it when this happens because it means you trust him enough to completely let your guard down

Actually, he’s done the same to you a few times. After a long day he’ll fall asleep on you, though carrying to bed is more like dragging a rock because he’s tall

After the first time you decided that you’d either wake him up and move him of just leave him and fall asleep too

It’s just all so domestic

[ethanhuntfemmefatale]

fuck it. ethan hair ranking

it's saturday im bored i don't want to practice mozart anymore. let's go

I'm gonna rank bottom to top this time and include visual aids. none of my choices are going to be much of a surprise to anyone who knows my particular tastes I think.

7. Dead Reckoning Part 1

Ethan is just gorgeous in this movie but his hair doesn’t do it for me. It’s short enough that it can’t have the same personality as it does at Fallout or MI1 length. It looks good on him! But it’s kinda flat. It's just fine. Also it doesn’t strike me as being a character choice so much as a “McQ likes TC’s hair better short” choice

6. Fallout

I would like to formally apologize to arc @callmearcturus i am sorry for slandering your boy like this. I love him too. fallout ethan is objectively the finest look that ethan has ever had I love him even above my dearly beloved MI1 ethan. He's deeply beautiful and i love him so much my heart hurts. but for me it's not the hair it's the Vibes. the vibes are here but the hair is just. it's a haircut. It's just normal to me, it’s floofy which I appreciate but. still. It’s a nice looking cut. Good for cosplaying a man. Utilitarian. It works well on Ethan but it doesn't capture my fascination.

5. MI3

it might also be time for me to formally apologize to mar @malewifebillcage for slandering her boy.......mi3 ethan's hair is also just a cut to me. and objectively i think the fallout cut even looks better on him. but I love MI3 hair dearly and deeply for character reasons because it’s such an aggressively rom com cut it really feels like Ethan googled “house husband” for reference pics. so i like it better cause it amuses me

4. MI1

I'd like to formally apologize to myself for slandering my own boy. (Also Luther in the back hi Luther I love you.) Ethan's hair in this movie is also excellent characterization and provides a perfect baseline for all my Ethan Hunt hair meta thoughts. And it’s so expressive! I love how spiky it is! That being said while it has a lot of personality it is simply not as aesthetically gorgeous to me as some of the cuts I ranked higher. MI1 Ethan I’m sorry

3. Rogue Nation

rogue nation Ethan literally takes my breath away at times with how beautiful he is. I am obsessed with the subtle length and swoop and the way it falls over his forehead. It’s the kind of hair that says “I had my gender crisis years ago and decided my gender was Gorgeous”. And yet it isn’t Character Driven enough for me to have it at the top

2. MI2

mi2 hair i think about you all the time.

both rich in Character Implication and mind-blowingly pretty. This is his hot girl summer hair his cherry bomb by the runaways hair it’s his ‘blew up my dad who wants me’ hair. It’s so far from the MI1 ingenue that it leaves manwhore in the dust and wraps back around to ingenue again. This is the hair of a man (????) who is trying so very hard to be absolutely anything other than what he is that he becomes exactly what he doesn’t like being. Every single image of him with this hair is like a masterclass in gender and rebellion and trauma and self discovery. and I Want To Run My Hands Through It.

But! there is something about the MI2 hair that feels. Styled and calculated and superficial. Hair for an Effect. Which is part of what I love about it! It’s also why this hair isn’t my absolute favorite. That title goes to:

Ghost Protocol

Ghost Protocol hair my absolute fucking beloved. What tips this hair over the edge for me is the way it looks when he’s tired and disheveled, in the prison breakout scene, in the car after the Kremlin, etc. This hair feels so natural for him, it’s a bit wild and floppy and makes him look kinda like a Creature instead of a man (I mean this in the most flattering way possible). He’s not trying to claim gender the way he is in MI2 or MI3, he’s…doing his own thing. It’s somehow both a utilitarianism and an indulgence. He’s not trying to fit in anywhere, he’s not trying to be anything, he’s in his base state and it’s fucking gorgeous. I guess for me this is the thing—MI4 is the movie where Ethan doesn’t have to function as a member of society, and has been free of functioning as a member of society for a while now. And this is the result. I could stare at him forever<3

[kaiser1ns]

KIKI KIKI i have a questionnnnn what is ur favorite thing about chika??

NYX MY LOVE , sorry for the delay but here we go !!! this is going to be like a selfship post but anyway enjoy :3

one of my favourite things about him is his eyes — the color and the form. i can stare at them all day and observe the way he expresses his emotions with only just a look: they widen when he is excited, narrow when he is sceptical, when he looks away showing disinterest.

especially love it when his eyes go big and he just stands there with no thoughts in his brain, looking like a cute small kitten.

of course, you would have guessed it ... his arms !!! i don't even have to talk about it, just know that once i get him to hold me, i am not leaving his embrace and he doesn't have a choice letting me go either. i'm also kinda tall, slightly above the average, 168cm (5'6") and chika is 183cm (6'0") so it's gonna be so much easier when we hug or kiss. wrapping my arms around his waist, while he hugs my shoulders. hugs !! from !! behind !! where he wraps his toned arms around my chest and i can feel his heartbeat, resting his head on top of my head or me hugging him from behind, my arms wrapping arous his waist while my head rests on his back. he doesn't have to bend much just to lean slightly forward while i tilt my head up and then steal a kiss.

next is his jaw ! i just found it so attractive for some reason, it's not too sharp just perfect. it's actually a little embarrassing talking about things i found attractive in fictional men because i do find them appealing in real men. neck/collarbone/jaw kisses are a must ! just appreciating every part of him and showing it in kisses, so many kisses!

i have a little bit of a long nails so it's really calming for me when i trace all over his arms, squeezing the soft flesh, scratching it, feeling his muscles tightening... i think he will love receiving massages, and good for him because i have magical hands, gonna make him relax because for someone who looks calm, he is very tense! don't worry baby, i got ya ♡

next his lips, those soft lips, that i can kiss every day and night ♡ tiptoeing to reach his beautiful and soft face, cupping his cheeks with my hands and leaving a loving kiss. kissing his neck if standing close together, as the height difference is literally perfect. surprising him with a quick peck on the lips or cheek by pulling him down by his collar or reaching up. when he smiles, oh my that smile im melting, blushing and giggling because he is just so cute i could nom nom him. i will always nom nom chika !

i'm not done with his arms. play !! fights !! one of my love languages is physical affection and i also tend to show my love by hitting and biting. so i launch at him with all my might, fists flying, slaps landing with sharp snaps. he barely flinches, effortlessly twists out of my grips. i go harder, twisting his arm back, and he responds with just enough force to match me, never more. i know he could easily overpower me, but he’s learned where the line is—never crossing it. i taught him well. play fighting with chika is my favorite time ♡

okay but his fashion sense, im stealing his wardrobe, all of it !!! he dresses so nice i would like to wear his clothes all the time, oh my god his shirt would probably be slightly oversized and i will use them as pajamas. mmm, yes we are the dress to impress couple, hitting pose 28 !!!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST his amazing and pretty long hair. i don't like men with long hair, but there are exceptions like chika, my pretty princess. i bet its so soft and fluffy, running my hands through it will be like me playing with clouds. playing with hid hair would calm me down in seconds, even making me fall asleep on the spot. occasionally dying the yellow tips again almost turning myself into a minion with those yellow painted hands. i love his hair and the style he has it (please bae don't cut it, i will love you no matter what but please dont)

OVERALL I JUST LOVE CHIKA, ALL OF HIM. he climbed the ranks to be one of my favorite characters faster than anyone, so he set a new record !!

(please someone get me a boyfriend because im so lonely and the way i cope is by liking and obsessing over fictional characters, thank you!)

[ghosttownwherenoonegoes]

A few people - @badgirlforeddiemunson @thefreak0fhawkinshigh @ilovecupcakesandtea - have asked me things about my hair; routines, products, hints and tips. And I figured it'd be easier to make a generic post with everything included and people can pick and poke at what they want.

I'm not a vain person, but I will freely admit that my hair is my pride and joy. It is my baby. I have told my mother that my hair is the only grandchild she's ever gonna get from me, and now when she helps me with it, she calls it "babysitting my grandkid".🤣

I have quite fine hair but I have a lot of it, so it's quite thick. Holding it in one fist is a bit difficult and it knots very easily. This post includes routines, products, hints, tips, and things I think are relevant. My hair is my baby and a lot of my leftover energy between my job and my degree goes into my hair. I've dreamed of having hair just like this since I was a child - maybe seven or eight - and now as a twenty five year old, I am living the dream.

I hope those of you who are curious about my rather extensive hair care find what you need in here! I am open to questions about it, as well.💖

TW; in the 'basics' section, there is one mention of actual physical assaults related to non-consensual hair-cutting which happened in my home town about a decade ago. Not to me, but I worry about it every day as a lasting point of anxiety. If you want to skip this, it is the LAST BULLET POINT OF THE FIRST SECTION RIGHT BELOW THE CUT.

Okay, so... where to start...

The basics/equipment I use

I sleep on silk pillowcases and I secure my braids with silk scrunchies. It helps to prevent knots and tangles (it's not perfect, but my hair is much more manageable thanks to silk).

I use a wooden comb and a boar bristle brush which moves natural oils from my scalp down to the ends of my hair. I would never be using a plastic brush or 'normal' elastic ties in my hair. The thought makes me shudder.

I wash my hair once a week unless it gets rained on. In which case, I will wash it more than once a week, but neither me nor my hair will be happy about it.

I pat-dry my hair with a plain white cotton t-shirt and I let it air-dry, which takes about twelve hours to become damp-but-dry-enough-to-safely-brush. (Hair wash day is a whole ordeal, I need a day! More on this to come.) T-shirts are gentler and less damaging than towels; wet hair should be treated like glass because it's very fragile.

I never go outside of the house or go to sleep without first brushing and then braiding my hair. I never go outside with it down. This is because, honestly, I'm terrified someone will come up behind me on the street and assault me by cutting all my hair off (I have severe anxiety but also, this actually happened to a few girls in my town as a series of three assaults when I was a child and I've never forgotten about it) but also, doing this helps to prevent knots and tangles, which minimises damage to your hair.

I eat a lot of meat and dairy but I also take a generic multivitamin every day. Protein and fat are super good for you in general but also, what your body doesn't use, goes to your hair!!! Happy body = happy hair.💖

I am very precious about my hair, very few people are allowed to touch it. If I let you touch it, you are trusted. It's pretty much an "I love you". My mum helps me with my hair every day. I'm very grateful to her for it, and I make sure she knows how much I appreciate it.

My hair only needs a half-inch trim every eight months or so; dad measures it out with a ruler, mum watches him to make sure he's doing it right, he shows me what he's cut off after the first snip and I'll approve it and then he's allowed to continue. I cry a lot when it has to be trimmed, I hate it, and I grieve that half-inch until it grows back in about three weeks.

My different hair-care routines (these are extensive)

Hair wash day!

Number of stages: 4

Duration of all four stages: 13 - 14 hours🥰 (I have to schedule an entire day to do it and it can be tricky because my job doesn't always align with my preferred wash day, which is a Sunday, so sometimes I have to go 10 days without washing it and that can make me very irritable. It's the little things, you know? It has to be an all day thing because my hair takes twelve hours to become damp-dry enough to brush without damaging it. I never use heat on my hair; pat-dry with a t-shirt and then air-dry only. And then I have the brushing routine on top of it, which takes an hour if I do it myself, and ten minutes if mum does it for me, which she often does).

Brushing routine:

I brush my hair before I wash it. This is the first stage of hair wash day, and I do this routine after work. It takes me an hour to do it alone or ten - twenty minutes if mum does it.

I section my hair in two, over each shoulder, and then section it again so that my hair has been quartered. I always brush from the back first (I tuck the front section underneath the back section, which has been pulled forward to the front). Whichever side isn't being brushed, I secure into a side-ponytail with a silk scrunchie to hold it there while I work on the other half of my hair.

Starting from the bottom, I finger-comb first and manually untangle any big knots or tangles. If this part goes wrong, I will cry about it. It's instant panic attack if I can't get a knot undone with minimal effort.

Once that quarter-section is finger combed thoroughly, I then use my wooden comb to go through the section again and I alternate as needed back to finger-combing if I find a section I missed the first time.

Once that quarter-section is done, I put it behind me and start on the other section, same process as above. Doing one half of my hair usually takes me a half hour.

Once one half of my hair is brushed, I use a boar-bristle brush, going from the top of my hair down to the tips; this moves the natural oils through the hair. The oil normally comes down to just below my ear, and obviously the further away I am from wash day, the more oil there is, and so from the nape of the neck down to the very ends of my hair, I apply Mielle's rosemary and mint scalp and hair strengthening oil (£8.99 for a 59ml bottle; half a pipette is sufficient for one half of my hair, so it's expensive but does last a while).

Once the hair is finger-combed, combed, brushed, I then pull that section back as well and braid it in a simple three-strand braid and loosely tie it with a silk scrunchie. The first few patterns are tight to hold the braid, but after that, I loosen it off so it's a loose braid and loosely tied. In the morning, I'll redo my braids as needed before I go to work without brushing them - I don't have that time in a morning to do my whole routine before work. To secure it, I tie the silk scrunchie around one more time so it's tighter and will hold longer (bedtime braid: tie it around three times / morning braid before work: tie it around four times).

Repeat this whole thing again for the other half of my hair, and then I can go to bed. A normal night, this takes an hour, a bad night as in really knotty hair or I'm tired, two hours. Unless mum helps me with it. I can and will cry if I find a knot I can't immediately undo and it's not unusual for me to be swaying at the bathroom sink because I will not go to bed unless my hair is fully brushed, oiled, braided.

If it's wash day, I don't braid my hair or apply more oil, I just finger-comb, comb and then brush it and then get in the shower...

Washing routine: Okay. This is the most in-depth and complicated part of my entire thing I do for my hair, and I have to get it right or I will have an anxiety attack thinking I've just fucked all my hair up and I have to cut it off (I catastrophise a lot, especially with my hair). This is the second stage of hair wash day.

So, hair is brushed, shower time!

I have the water lukewarm - too hot will burn your hair and damage it, but too cold and you won't be able to get the oils out properly.

I get my hair wet so it's plastered to my back, and then I use L'Oreal's Dream lengths shampoo; I apply it to my scalp and to the surface of hair up to the nape of my neck, giving myself a gentle scalp massage (treat wet hair like GLASS!!!!). I rinse it all out once it's all in there, and then I use the same brand of conditoner, which is applied from the nape of my neck down to the very tips. Leaving that conditioner in, I then shampoo the scalp up to the nape of my neck a second time (it's like a greasy pan - the first lot of washing up liquid lifts the oil, the second lot of washing up liquid actually cleans the pan - same concept applies here to hair, especially because I only wash it once a week). And rinse that off too.

Then, I apply conditioner for a second time from the nape of my neck to the very tips of my hair, wiping off any excess on the top of my hair (just below the scalp so I don't clog my pores). I leave it in there while I wash my body, which takes a few minutes, and then I wash it off again. I let it all come out, and then I change the shower temperature so it's now COLD, to effectively close the pores in my hair.

My hair is washed! I pat it dry with a cotton t-shirt, then from the nape of my neck down to the halfway mark of my hair, I apply a leave-in conditioner, then from that halfway mark through to the ends of my hair, I use one pipette of the oil to cover everything, and then my hair air-dries for twelve hours until it's damp-dry enough to safely brush, as above!

Using oils and leave-in conditioner:

I use the oil every day from the nape of my neck to the ends of my hair, and every few days I apply leave-in conditioner from the nape of my neck to the ends of my hair. The top section of my hair (scalp to the nape) will be fine, it has the natural oils from the scalp, which is evenly distributed by using the boar-bristle brush.

Brushing routine: After twelve hours, I brush through my hair as in the first stage of wash day, so this is now stage three of wash day for me, and braiding it is stage four!

And finally, a picture of my baby!!! This was taken about two weeks ago and I believe it was the day after wash day!😍💖

I love it (her) so, so much. I bitch and complain often about the knots, but nothing fills me with instant grief and abject horror quite like thinking about having to cut off more than a half inch. That, in itself, is already cause for tears. My hair is my pride and joy, my favourite body part, and something I cherish as a very real, long-lasting childhood dream. I hope you find what you need in this post; I know it's not applicable to everyone because we all have different hair types and budgets, but hopefully something is useful.💖

I'm pretty sure this is everything but I might reblog with additions if needed, and I'm open to questions as well! My hair was jaw length in late 2019 when I started to grow it out, so it's grown quite quickly and I'm very in love with it.🥰

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Boromir for the character ask?

Yessssss my man! Boromir my love!

First impression

First, first impression when I was like 11 and in theatres seeing LOTR for the first time? I couldn't tell him apart from Aragorn lol - it was two white dudes with the same hair cut and facial hair!

More serious note, like most, when I was young, I found him a bit unnerving and even frightening. Then it shifted to no strong opinion either way and now, obviously, that's vastly different.

Impression now

Love him so much. The older I get the more I sympathise with him and what he was going through. All he had on his shoulders and the stresses of his position and the expectations his people had of him to be their stalwart defender against Sauron. Let alone the whole Family Dynamic.

He is a complex, wholly imperfect person and I really appreciate that about him.

Favorite moment

In the movies I'm torn between the bit where he's teaching Merry and Pippin how to sword fight and every Fraught Conversation He Ever Had With Aragorn (there were so many).

In the books I love his response to the Balrog being: I'm Gonna Fight it.

Gandalf: We're not fighting it.

Aragorn: No, he's right, we should fight it.

Boromir: drawing my sword! it's gonna happen!

Idea for a story

Not sure I have one off hand - obviously every iteration of Boromir Lives is a godsend to us poor mortals.

ahufflepuffhobbit will know where this came from lol - but I am enamoured with a story idea of Boromir and Aragorn and Eowyn being a power couple.

Boromir lives, somehow. Schematics aren't important. Comes to Rohan, so Eowyn is like: Oh Wow Yes. Both of these men are A+

And obviously Boromir would be like "yeah girl you kill that orc. I'll hold your mead." Aragorn would be like, "the two people I love are MANIACS who enable each other."

Anyway, let Eowyn be queen of Gondor!! She deserves it and two hot husbands!!

Unpopular opinion

Not an evil or bad man? He has nothing to atone for?

idk - I'm not sure I have one when it comes to Boromir. There are people who don't like him, but my general opinions and read of the man aren't super out of the ballpark.

Is my opinion that Tolkien undermined his own narrative purpose about love etc. by killing Boromir unpopular?

(My one like, "yeah I get it and think it's important to the story," is that Boromir's death shows the reality of the great danger they are all in and that no one is coming out of this unscathed and he represents those who went to war and didn't come home. All those sons and brothers for whom people buried empty coffins. It's an important role that is needed in the story. But Tolkien, stop killing off only people who have "done wrong".)

Favorite relationship

Merry and Pippin, obviously. The three of them have a fantastic dynamic and clearly they need to hang out together more often.

I also love the complexity and manifold layers of his relationship with Aragorn and we were robbed by Tolkien in not having a chance to see how that would have unfolded over the course of the books.

Because there is Boromir before some of the dire, insane shit the Fellowship went through together and Boromir after - and I wish we got to see that and how it impacted/informed/changed his relationships with people.

Favorite headcanon

He and Gimli are Bros! The only reason I didn't have this as "favourite relationship" (because it is), is because it's not strictly speaking canon.

But yeah, I headcanon that they bonded super quickly during the Fellowship and are just absolute besties. Boromir is best man at Gimli's wedding to Legolas. It's all great for everyone

[theoldpersonliveshere]

“I am done with my graceless heart // Tonight I’m gonna cut it out and then restart”

Sequel to Happiness is a Butterfly

Baela loved her mother, she was the bravest, kindest, most beautiful woman she’d ever known. But that doesn't mean she wanted to be an exact copy of her. Her grandmother thought differently.

When she was sent to ward at Driftmark, within the first week Rhaenys had sent for a hairdresser to comb out Baela's dreads. She remembered the long, painful process of the procedure and her grandmother telling her how pretty she’d look.

“Just like your mother,” she had said, “I used to sit with her every morning and brush her hair.”

When it was over she looked in the mirror and saw a stranger. But not wanting to displease her grandmother, she pasted on a smile and said how much she loved it.

It went in like that for years. Baela did her hair like her mother's and wore idealised versions of dresses she wore. Laena’s dresses were a bit more revealing than Rhaenys approved, so she would just wear what her grandmother would have picked for her mother. Baela had no idea who she was anymore. Then there were talks about a betrothal to Prince Jacaerys.

“You'll get back what was taken from you.” her grandmother had said.

“Taken from me? What was taken from me?” Baela had a suspicion that it had something to do with Laena. It always did.

“Oh,” Rhaenys started trying to cover up her mistake. “Your mother would have married King Viserys, if he hadn't married Alicent Hightower. You would have been a princess.”

Baela grimaced. She wouldn't like being Viserys daughter and having to compete with Rhaenyra for his affection.

Then her Uncle Vaemond decided to make a claim on Driftmark by declaring Rhaenyras sons bastards. She didn’t see the point in that, because if they were disinherited, she and Rhaena would be next in line to get Driftmark. Then again, Uncle Vaemond wasn’t the wisest of men.

At the trial, she saw Rhaenyra and her family for the first time in a long time. Jacaerys had grown from a child into a handsome young man. If she must marry, she wouldn't mind marrying him. Behind Jace was a strange looking girl with white hair and red eyes. She reminded Baela of a deer with the way she was trying to hide herself from the crowd. Before the trial started Jace had taken the girl's hand and was talking softly to her but she seemed to shrink whenever he touched her. Then the trial started and the betrothal between Baela and Jace was announced and the girl shrunk even smaller.

When the trial was over Baela was talking to Rhaenyra and decided to appease her curiosity.

“My lady, who was that pale girl at the trial? I haven't seen her before.”

“Pale girl… Oh that was Fen! Her mother was my maid and we took her in after she died. She's a sweet girl, always doing something.”

“And she and Jace are close?”

“They seem to be, but it isn't anything to worry about. Jace will do his duty.”

That did not comfort Baela.

At dinner Baela was sat next to Jace. Fen was sat on his other side and was wearing a red dress that was loaned to her. She had to admit that she looked lovely in the dress, the dark red was a nice contrast to her pale skin and hair. Unfortunately, Aegon noticed also and was making lewd comments to her. She was very tempted to punch him in the face to shut him up, but she didn't think her stepmother would appreciate that. It was tempting though.

When the dancing started, she had slightly hoped that Jace would ask her to dance. Instead, he approached Helaena and asked her to dance. That was nice she supposed, Helaena did seem lonely.

She and Fen were left sitting alone together. She was curious if she'd say anything or stay a wallflower.

“Congratulations on your betrothal, Lady Baela,” Fen said softly. Baela looked at her, Fen wasn't making eye contact and was looking down at her hands folded in her lap. The poor girl was clearly terrified and Baela pitied her. If only things were different.

“Thank you, you look lovely in that dress by the way, the colour suits you,” she said. She was about to tell her that Aegon was a pig and not to listen to him, but then Prince Aemond approached Fen and asked her to dance.

During the dance, Aemond must have said something snide to Jace, because a fight broke out. Unfortunately, Rhaena grabbed Baela before she could punch Aegon. When they were sent to their rooms, Baela saw Fen rush out closely followed by Jace. She silently went after them and hid in an alcove. The two were arguing in hushed tones and Jace had grabbed Fen’s hand. After another moment he kissed her, from the way Fen kissed him back it was obvious they were in love. Fen pushed Jace away and he stormed off.

Baela decided then she wouldn't marry a man who was desperately in love with someone else. She was not her mother.

@hotd-bigbang

[roarsaidthedinosaur]

how are the other items on your todo list going?

i was going to be like A SMASHING SUCCESS I DID IT ALL a little bit tongue in cheek and leave it at that bc it’s been a hard year actually but it turns out i really have intentionally done a lot of these things?? so i got excited and now i want to share!!! thanks pal for asking i appreciate it 💕

the only thing i haven’t done as i intended is the first one, i have been managing ~*~an illness~*~ and it’s not comfortable for me to go out or host folks while under the weather so i will say my IRL friendships have been mostly me texting my friends that i love them and keeping up with my pocket friends but not planning a lot of visits/travel. i DID manage to make it to europe to visit my bff due to some last minute convenient timing and a lucky week of feeling well enough to get on a plane. and when i am feeling mostly alright i do make a point to hang with my brother & my dnd pals in person!! so really i am completing this one in spirit even though it wasn’t how i pictured it when i wrote it (hanging out with friends once a week)

but yeah like - the rest of it i’ve made very distinct choices to do (or not!!!)

i’ve cut back on the time i gave to one extremely old friendship where every conversation became a therapy session and was making ME feel like i needed to go back to therapy just to get the tools to help this person and that was causing me a lot of stress. but instead i was simply like “i don’t have time for this” and so i stopped making time for it and it allowed me to free up so much energy & brainpower to give to my other pals. we still talk but it feels so nice to not have to walk on eggshells with every interaction, or get the feeling of dread in my stomach every time i saw a text from them.

big lady & the boy have become so much more snuggly with me now and i honestly love it lol like i hate the cat hair floating around the house and being in my nose but i love when i’m sitting on the couch and honey picks MY lap to sit in and cooper lets me scoop him up and parade him around the house like he’s my little babydoll

i have been working real hard on setting boundaries with family members and not keeping my mouth shut when my folks say something out of pocket but also in general i’ve been trying to be kind in interactions rather than just placating people. this has kinda been hand & hand with energy vampirism ignoring like this one lady from work kept asking me to hang out outside of work because “you’re the only person who’s nice to me” and i was like “and i will continue to be, but i do not want to hang out outside of work” because she only ever talked about herself lol. and THAT has been super freeing, not doing things that i don’t want to i mean

i recommend everyone gets a humidifier for next to their bed, 10/10 improved my breathing at night especially during the dry season!!!! just make sure you clean it weekly

i dance around my house pretty much once a week if i’m honest, usually while waiting for nuggies to finish in the air fryer

im still obsessed w my girl as i was on day 1 and i can’t wait to marry her someday. i’m gonna be the guy that’s always like ‘MY WIFE—’ lol building a home with her has been so natural and fun over this year and it helps that we have similar taste in things but really i have been declutterring so much of MY stuff to make room for OUR things and it’s been so. rewarding sounds dumb but it’s like there’s no doubt that we are always on the same team and it’s so great. i still very much have the things that in love squirreled away like my edward cullen and katniss everdeen barbies and my digimon figurines but i’m trying to be very intentional about what i keep vs give away vs throw away and it’s such a project but i’m excited about doing it

keeping my inner peace has become weirdly easy since i have a VERY clear picture of what’s important to me in my life since this flare up started. my priorities are: my health, amelia, my family & friends, keeping my house nice/reducing stress in my life, and THEN work. it’s still a priority but like no i’m not missing my gf’s birthday dinner because you suck at planning meetings across timezones. and no i’m not doing 42hours of travel to india because you think it’ll be good for me to have experience on their computer station rather than the one in my home office. figure it out lol

on top of all of it, my new year’s resolutions i wrote down in my actual journal were to open a high yield savings account and start saving (for a house??? an airstream?! who knows not me yet tbh) and also to read one book a month, and i’ve done both of those things so far!! i’m actually up to 11 this year and about halfway thru my next one and it’s only september

so despite this year being a little crappy health-wise i’ve actually done so much work to be happy. thanks for the reminder i didn’t know i needed!! :-)