#gonna be putting $15 worth of effort in.

[phoenixwithapencil]

Here’s an evil thought: a version of ffxv where all the foundational bits are the same.

Except

There is no decade long reflection.

I think a decade of darkness, a decade of Noct being all but dead, a decade of being curled up in the void with naught but endless blue and Bahamut and memories as company, at the end of which everyone walks into the capital chin up and dressed to the nines to go kick ass knowing the ending and accepting it- makes the whole thing feel very fair, very regal. It’s all very just, don’t you think?

But without it, Noct is twenty and he touches the crystal and gets its powers-

And then he gets the truth.

Does that feel just?

You’re going to fight Ardyn, Bahamut will inform Noctis, and you must not die before you defeat him. And then you will die afterwards. To save the world, of course.

Does that feel just?

Noctis ascends the throne at twenty, bruised and battered and wearing raiment that feels like dressing up in his father’s clothes. He says goodbye to his friends, who at most a month ago believed their journey had reached a happy end with a wedding in Altissia. Their friend will die and the world will keep spinning for it and time will march on for it. Noct’s voice wavers, cracks, as he tells his friends to walk tall.

And then he’s gone.

Does that feel just?

Anywho thanks for listening to the nth reason for ‘why Bahamut is actually just a vile trickster masquerading as an arbiter of justice and is the true BBEG of ffxv’ (because without that decade timeout corner no one would be remotely as chill about the ending as they end up being)

[babe-a-yaga]

What was done to Isseya is one of my personal biggest upsets with this game. I loved her in Last Flight. She's a genuinely interesting, complex character, and given the themes of mistakes and regret present through Veilguard, it makes TOTAL sense for her to make an appearance! What makes no sense at all is for her to be reduced to a two dimensional villain with no clear motivation who's just...doing exactly the thing she fucked up in life? Except worse? I'm gonna summarize the events of last flight for the folks who haven't read it;

The first griffin Isseya put through the joining was already blighted in battle, and dying from it. Quickly. Griffins are extra sensitive to the Blight and any attempts made to join them resulted in the animals going berserk and tearing themselves, and anyone else in range, to pieces to get away from what was now in their veins.

In a well meaning, but misguided effort to save one of the animals she loved, she used blood magic to alter the griffon's mind, to convince it the Blight in it's system was just a regular cold, and it didn't need to fight it, then put it through the joining.

It worked, but it changed the griffon. Made it stronger, fight harder. More difficult to handle. The griffon ultimately went out in a spectacular blaze of glory, and people didn't know what she did, just that she did SOMETHING, and that griffon did ten griffons worth of damage on it's way out.

The fourth blight was far worse, far longer than any of the blights we have witnessed first hand. I think it lasted like 15 years? And it was going badly for Thedas. They ordered Isseya to do what she had done to the first griffon again as a last ditch to stand a chance at I *think* Starkhaven (it's been a little bit since I read last flight, so I'm sketchy on dates and what battles were fought specifically when). She hated doing this, but it was orders, and it was exploit this handful of griffons or watch the world die. She's a warden, she signed up to stop the blight at any cost. In war, victory. In death, sacrifice.

By the time her brother Garahel slays Andoral, she's had to blight a number of griffons, and the constant blood magic use has massively accelerated the blight in her own body. Her brother garahel is this golden haired pretty boy beloved by everyone who looks upon him, and Isseya looks so much like a ghoul at this point people are uncomfortable being in the same room as her. Even though this is completely due to her service to the wardens.

Then, the remaining joined griffons start going mad. And then it starts to spread to the other, non-joined griffons. In using blood magic to convince the griffons the blight was just a disease, she had caused it to become one. A contagious one.

It's one of the most interesting examples of how dangerous blood magic actually is we ever see. We're just told over and over "blood magic bad, slippery slope to killing people. Bad. Even if you use your own." And we never really see explicitly why it's an inherently dangerous form of magic until this.

Back to Isseya though. Garahel's lover's Griffon had a clutch of eggs sired by Garahel's Crookytail. Isseya, knowing there was no stopping what was now in motion with the griffons, set out to do her one last act of penance. She took, and purified those eggs, hid them in a ward that kept them in stasis, so that they might only hatch once the griffons were gone, and this disease had died with them, so they might have a chance. And then she hid the clues to their location, and begged that whoever find them not let them be used by the wardens again.

And then she went on her calling.

These are not the actions of a villain. Isseya EMBODIES the warden principal of sacrifice. But it isn't glorious battle rewarded by a quick death alongside an archdemon for her. It's death by inches, by blight, knowingly and willingly accelerated in her own body to stop it from consuming the world. Sacrificing her ideals, the animals she loves, her brother, Garahel. Isseya gives it all for the wardens, to end the blight, and is not thanked for it or remembered kindly.

And she did everything she could to seed the slightest bit of hope, that both in spite of her and because of her, griffons might return to the world, as free creatures.

Her Veilguard arc feels like really egregious character assassination, and I wish she had been given an ounce of the sympathy that other characters had been given. It made sense for her to be here, thematically, mistakes and regret, and good intentions still leading to bad ends, but she deserved the same opportunity for forgiveness and/or redemption that Solas, Mythal, Cyrian, even Illario got.

Isseya was done dirty by Veilguard.

[ag-updates-and-archives]

L.S. Dunes: “Making music together is an intimate relationship. We’re not f*cking, but we are giving each other all of our selves”

L.S. Dunes was never supposed to be a ��proper band’ but, even by the prolific standards of its esteemed personnel, the post-hardcore collective have gathered unheralded momentum. Ahead of sublime second album Violet, we join vocalist Anthony Green and guitarist Frank Iero to find how what started out “low stress” has grown into a towering monument to positivity and hope…

January 15, 2025 Words: Sam Law Photography: Jonathan Weiner

L .S. Dunes’ abstract band name remains open to interpretation even within their five-strong gang. Back in 2022, explanations were offered on how these none-more-cultured musicians felt drawn to its rhythmic echo of the authors of great literary works: J.D. Salinger, W.B. Yeats, R.L. Stine… The imagery of shifting sands chimed with the realities of impermanence and change that weigh on men facing down middle-age. Even the ‘accidental monogram’ of LSD appealed: a drug for those looking to tap into their deeper consciousness, and to truly connect with the world around them.

Grabbing time with vocalist Anthony Green and guitarist Frank Iero to delve into imminent second album Violet six days before Christmas, however – a period when even the busiest players have called it quits for the year – we can’t help but wonder whether ‘L.S.’ still stands for ‘Low Stress’?

“Eh…” Anthony grins, knowingly. “The meaning of that name does change from time to time.”

Currently battling a sinus infection while in recovery from from a nasty norovirus at home in Doylestown, PA (“It was like a cycle from a scary movie. Your kid would have four days of pooping and throwing up, then three days later you would get it, too!”) the singer could be forgiven for eschewing press duties. Likewise, Frank is with family in New Jersey, relishing the calm before a jam-packed 2025 including a My Chemical Romance U.S. stadium tour whose 365,000 tickets recently sold out in a matter of hours. Neither man – nor bandmates Tim Payne and Tucker Rule of Thursday and Coheed And Cambria’s Travis Stever – need the project that was started as an easygoing distraction in the depths of lockdown. But the more of its mesmerising moments and glitteringly sincere sounds they unearth, the deeper they feel compelled to dig.

“It’s funny,” Frank picks up. “Anything that you do, that you really love and care about and put effort into, is going to come with some kind of stress at times. You’re gonna push yourself. You’re gonna want to expel extra energy into it. The biggest stress for this band is scheduling. Everyone is so busy and has so many things to do that it’s hard to make the touring and release schedules work. That can be stressful. But the important stuff – the creative side, making the music, enjoying the craft of being in a band – has never been stressful. That’s the easy part.”

“A certain amount of stress is good in any situation,” agrees Anthony. “It helps with growth. It draws focus to things that might need attention or care. But generally L.S. Dunes’ stress has to do with ‘outside stuff’ like planning or time. The inside stuff has always been right where it should be.”

Keeping track of every show they’ve ever played is many a musician’s dream but, predictably, Frank and Anthony have long since lost count. Both are surprised, all the same, to learn that L.S. Dunes have played over 100 shows between first hitting the stage at Riot Fest 2022 and today. Having insisted that this band is by no means a side-project, the proof is in those miles racked up.

“Anything worth doing is worth doing for real,” Frank grins. “But no-one is telling us to do it. None of us need to be away from our families. We’re driven by love for the music we’re making. Being a professional musician is a dream I’ve had since I was a kid. More people than I can count told me I how wasn’t good enough, or that it wasn’t going to work out. So to still be so fired-up after 20 years, rather than being beaten down, is an incredible thing.”

"We knew this was going to be more than a side-project"

Hear Anthony on why the members of L.S. Dunes are drawn to the band "like a magnet"

Maintaining ‘creative purity’ isn’t an issue, but that kind of hard-touring means survival within the music industry machine. Fortunately, navigating it together has only bound them closer.

“Dealing with the music business is a lot like dealing with the force of a wave,” Anthony explains. “We have the benefit of knowing what it’s like to go out there and be crushed by that wave. To go too far from shore. To go for too much. With L.S. Dunes, we’re so much more able to go out there and set our own pace, surf around, enjoy it more. We’re not fighting anything. We’re not biting off more than we can chew. It’s a luxury to choose how much of that force we give ourselves towards.”

“You’ve got to navigate the business side,” Frank runs on, “but what a great fucking problem to have. It’s like finding diamond shoes that are just a little too tight. It’s made this band stronger and our music more fully-realised, too. The story of us making our first record Past Lives during the pandemic has already been told. We’d written instrumentals that were jammed with riffs and melody. Just so full of notes. Then Anthony came in and, I don’t know how, but he found space for his vocals and ripped it.

“Making an album second time out, we were writing with the expectation and understanding of what everyone would bring to the table. We knew it was a record fans were actually going to listen to: a follow-up to another one they already had. We’ve lived and toured together on the road, getting closer as human beings, creatives and bandmates. We knew each others’ idiosyncrasies and insecurities, when to leave space in something you’re writing for someone else to fill-in. Those trust-falls are so important for an endeavour like this. Making music together or having this kind of creative bond – this give-and-take – with other artists is an intimate relationship. We’re not fucking, but we are giving each other all of ourselves...”

Frank Iero knows the old musicians’ fable of Tom Waits and the empty guitar may be more myth than reality but, as with the best tall tales, facts shouldn’t be allowed to get in the way of the truth.

Legend has it the infamous Californian troubadour walked into an anonymous music shop one day, lifted an old six-string from the racks, rolled it over, turned it upside down, rattled it, shook his head and left. A week later, he returned to the same store and picked up the same guitar, raised it to his face, sniffed the fretboard, peered into the sound hole, hung it back on its stand and went on his merry way. Another seven days passed and he was back to go through the same odd routine. The store owner came over to ask why the esteemed Mr. Waits had so deeply examined this instrument without ever strumming a chord, and if he’d like to properly take it for a spin. ‘Nah,’ shrugged old Tom. ‘That one ain’t got any songs left in it.’ Then he left the store never to return.

“It’s true, man,” Frank grins at the beloved anecdote. “I really believe that every instrument has a soul of some sort; something inside it that you need to draw out. Every so often you’ll get that ‘Harry Potter chooses a wand’ moment where there’s a connection that just blows your hair back.”

Such was the feeling when Frank received a new Fender Highway Acoustic Electric X from a friend close to the beginning of Violet’s creative process. Immediately falling in love and sitting down to noodle through a thank you video, the record’s title-track hit him in its gorgeous entirety.

“It just fell out of me,” he says, the recording still available as proof. “I believe that song was meant to come from that guitar on that day. Sometimes, you’ve just got to follow the road signs.”

"We’ve all been artists our entire working lives, we don’t have anything left to prove"

Hear Frank on why there is no fear of failure in L.S. Dunes

Chronicling L.S. Dunes’ short existence so far, such instances of organic alchemy and easygoing serendipity are in plentiful supply. Anthony stresses that rather than conventional milestones – massive shows, hitting sales targets – the defining moments are smaller-scale, more personal: crying together over shared loss on the bus; tapping into their “telepathy” as songs come together; seeing the signs and synchronicities that prove this band was meant to be.

“It’s too profound to be about some accolade or accomplishment,” he says. “It’s not something obvious you can just put your finger on.”

Frank sighs. Not undermining their other, more conventionally successful bands is a priority for all of L.S. Dunes. But that success is a double-edged sword whose swing it’s liberating to escape.

“I’m gonna be as honest as I possibly can,” he gives a cautious, lopsided smile. “When you’re in this line of work for as long as we’ve been, a certain sense of legacy and fear can creep in. Bands that have been around for a long time can become wary of taking risks and creating something new that might ‘tarnish a legacy’ or ‘disrupt a legendary status’. In this band, there’s none of that.”

Frank has spoken before about his fandom for English art rock icons Radiohead, and there is something of what he describes in how that band’s core members – Thom Yorke and Jonny Greenwood – founded The Smile to forge onward musically without the weight of legacy. Following the thought, it’s fascinating to think whether the reaction to Metallica’s mega-divisive Load/Reload era would’ve been kinder had The Four Horsemen dropped those albums under a different name.

“We’re in a very unique place,” Frank continues. “We’ve all been artists our entire working lives: 20-something years each. We don’t have anything left to prove. We’re not afraid of pitfalls. There isn’t any trepidation. At the same time, L.S. Dunes is still a new band and we’ve got our whole creative lives in front of us. There aren’t any preconceived notions of what a second L.S. Dunes album should sound like in the way there might be for a fifth or sixth Thursday or Coheed or My Chem record. We’re writing the script as we go along. No rules. Nothing to prove.”

Unfettered creativity sees Violet unfold in bold and unexpected ways. Lead single Fatal Deluxe is both familiar and fresh, bridging the band they were and the one they are becoming with equal measures shimmer and swagger. Paper Tigers pulls together its sludgy tempo, big riffs and soaring vocals to euphoric effect. The aforementioned title-track is a masterclass in grandiose, melancholic post-hardcore: beautifully layered, emotionally complex, unapologetically mature. No song is more emblematic of the sublime interpersonal chemistry than opener Like Magick. A late-in-the-day addition that started life as an Anthony Green solo song, its build from a low, breathy intro is true to the title – a starry sleight of hand that proves anything is possible with spark and a little belief.

“Music is magic,” Anthony evangelises. “It can be a time-machine. It can be a healing force. It can be anything you want. As a musician, sometimes you forget that in pursuit of ‘The Big Song’, but when you really whittle it down it’s just you with your record player and your fucking soul. And how those things harmonise. That’s the fundamental foundation of everything [about this band].”

Frank grins. “You and I might not have grown up together. We might not know each other. But from thousands of miles away I can put my finger on a string on a piece of wood, have that vibrate into a microphone and record it, then when that’s played back, it resonates this little drum inside your head and conjures up an emotion: happiness or sadness, hope or nostalgia. How magic is that?!”

"Music should surprise you, it should be magical"

Hear Frank on the joy of having no boundaries to your creativity

Painted in terracotta pink, slate grey and wavy greens and blues, Violet’s cover depicts a figure in a boat at sea. Contrasting coldly with Past Lives’ orange and beige artwork – five equal elements in perfect harmony that might represent the members of the band – it feels more eerily unexplained. From this writer’s perspective, it is an image of a wraith, perhaps the Grim Reaper himself, trapped in a storm. Frank and Anthony stroke their chins at this observation, like psychologists whose patient has just seen a blood-splatter in a Rorschach test. Darkness or light, they insist, is in the eye of the beholder, and their own understandings of the image are grounded firmly in hope.

“Are those stormy seas, or are they open waters?” challenges Frank. “Is it sunrise or sunset? Is that figure trapped or are they escaping? Are they looking for something? Longing for it? I’m happy that artwork isn’t actually purple. With the title Violet, that would be too much. But beyond that it’s important that things can’t be fully defined. Open-ended ideas are key. I like to think it’s a person alone, fighting for a way out. To me, that’s hopeful. But maybe I’m the one who’s fuckin’ nuts!”

“It’s like a Tarot card,” elaborates Anthony. “It’s so interesting to me that someone might see Death in that image. Reading Tarot, when you draw Death, you’re actually foretelling a new beginning. Often, new beginnings mean killing something old. That can be hard. But it can also be necessary.”

Over those 100-odd shows L.S. Dunes have played so far, past negativity had worn on the vocalist. Although far from a permanent fixture in their set, the closing line of Sleep Cult – ‘Sorry that I wish that I was dead’ – particularly needled. The kind of artist who needs to re-live the root emotions every time a song is sung, it was a lyric that drew him back into a shadow that he thought he had escaped, and he’d often stumble offstage emotionally rinsed and in tears.

“If I’m going to be singing a song 100 times I need it to light my path,” he reasons. “I was in a real dark place when I was doing Past Lives – and I hate it when artists say that because people are in a real dark place all the time – but I was honestly going through such a tough patch. Feeling free from some of that I selfishly wanted these songs to represent it. Hope is a weird word. A lot of the time hope is about letting go rather than hanging on. I needed to make something that meant that even if I found myself in that destructive mode, it was about destroying something that needed to be destroyed rather than my will to keep going.”

Lyrically, the word ‘violet’ does not appear on this album bearing that name. Originating from the vocal sounds Frank overlaid on his instrumental, it stuck with both that song and this longer chapter. Research would reveal that the colour represents spiritual wisdom, acceptance, strength and creativity. The flower has medicinal purposes. Lapsed Catholic Anthony remembers how priests in Lent would wear violet vestments to symbolise both the brutal passion of Jesus Christ and the promise of salvation and rebirth that always comes in the spring. As writing progressed, it became emblematic of a subtle, cerebral optimism that pulses throughout.

‘You have got a hope that there is something more for us to make / In the midst of understanding / Brick by brick we split the take,’ Anthony croons on I Can See It Now… close to the record’s beginning. By the end, he’s waving farewell to, ‘All the words in history / Aggravate to based in longing / All the wounds that I forget / Things I thought would last forever...’

Understanding. Conciliation. Acceptance. As feelings go, they haven’t the bombast or inherent drama of new love or heartbreak, outrage or jubilation, but these songs know they’re just as capable of changing our world. First time out, L.S. Dunes raged against the atrocities of January 6, 2021 on Bombsquad. In January 2025, 12 months since entering the studio again with producer Will Yip, Violet will blare as the perpetrators of that day take back the highest offices of power.

“We’ve had this secret that we were waiting to release out into the world,” Frank says. “And, for me, to provide something that feels hopeful or uplifting at a time when things aren’t hopeful or uplifting – to be a light in the darkness – is an artist’s job. Things happen for a reason. Maybe that makes this the best time for Violet to come out. In times of darkness, the last thing that we need is more despair. I was asked recently what, other than music, makes me hopeful on a daily basis. Honestly, it’s my kids. They allow me to see on a second-by-second basis that not everything is dark and shitty. The kids I’m surrounded with know the difference between good and bad. They want things to be better. They see what’s fucked up. They think it’s crazy when we can’t seem to fix it. Being an inspiration for them is so important: showing that [that fight] is not all for nothing.”

Conventional success – that double-edged sword of fame and fortune we spoke about earlier – may not be the endgame for L.S. Dunes, but there’s nothing lacking in sense of achievement.

“Success is about being friends and caring about each other,” stresses Anthony. “There are plenty of people my age doing this job that don’t even like it anymore, but they don’t know anything else. To be 42 and still making this music and building this band for each other is a gift. There isn’t some big thing we’re working towards. It’s about doing what we’re doing. That gets more exciting to us every day. If that feeling stops at some point, we’ll know what to do. Until then, we’re going to keep digging and writing music and playing shows. It’s what we’re made of. It’s who we are.”

“I’m never thinking about the end,” nods Frank. “Success is being there, being present, being gracious for the time we have. I continue to write and create things without thinking about it much in the same way that I don’t think about the next breath I’ll take. It’s just what I do. And in the same way that no-one knows when it’s the last time to go outside to play pretend with their friends, I won’t know the last music I ever make. I just keep going and going and hope that the next thing is better than what came before...”

Violet is released on January 31 via Fantasy Records.

L.S. Dunes are on tour in the UK and Europe with Rise Against from January 28. They will also play headline dates in Leeds on January 30 and Cardiff on February 10. Get your tickets now.

[the-conversation-pod]

Summer 2024 Lagniappe (A Minisode)

AND WE'RE BACK!

Summer didn’t give us a lot to say, but we ALWAYS got something to say. Ben, NiNi and Shan talk a highlight of the season, Twig reports from the field, and we award summer’s Girl Who Tried.

Timestamps

The timestamps will now correspond with chapters on Spotify for easier navigation.

00:00:00 - Welcome 00:01:15 - Introduction 00:02:21 - Twig’s Dispatch 00:14:24 - Spotlight: Tadaima, Okaeri 00:20:34 - Girl, You Tried 00:27:08 - Celebrating 50 Episodes

The Conversation Transcripts!

Thanks to the continued efforts of @lurkingshan as an editor and proofreader, we are able to bring you transcripts of the episodes.

We will endeavor to make the transcripts available when the episodes launch, and it is our goal to make them available for past episodes (Coming soon thanks to @wen-kexing-apologist). When transcripts are available, we will attach them to the episode post (like this one) and put the transcript behind a Read More cut to cut down on scrolling.

Please send our volunteers your thanks!

00:00:00 - Welcome

NiNi

Welcome to The Conversation About BL, aka The Brown Liquor Podcast.

Ben

And there it is. I’m Ben.

NiNi

I’m NiNi.

Ben

And we’re you’re drunk Caribbean uncle and auntie here sitting on the porch in the rocking chairs.

NiNi

Four times a year we pop in to talk about what’s going on in the BL world.

Ben

We shoot the shit about stories and all the drama going into them. I review from a queer media lens.

NiNi

And I review from a romance and drama lens.

Ben

So if you like cracked-out takes and really intense emotional analysis…

NiNi

If you like talking about artistry, industry, and the discourse…

Ben

And if you generally just love simping…

NiNi

There is a lot of simping on this podcast…

Ben

We are the show for you!

00:01:15 Introduction and Summer Season Recap

Ben

And we're back. We have reached the end of the summer season. It is hot as hell and hurricane season is active, but we at least still have our shows to watch.

Shan

Wow, what a way to set the mood.

NiNi

That is [laughs] one way to start, for sure. [NiNi and Shan laugh]

Ben

Girl, I’m stressed! [laughs]

NiNi

I feel you. I feel you. I feel you. We are here. The summer has been… it's been a lot. 

Let's just dive right into what we came here to discuss. Shan is here. Say hi, Shan. 

Shan

Hi! 

NiNi

We're going to talk a few things that we didn't talk through this season. Twig’s gonna come in and leave us her dispatch, and then we're gonna round it up and award the Girl, You Tried. There are a lot of girls who tried this season. [laughs]

00:02:20 Twig’s Dispatch

DISPATCH! Thank you for having me back. [music]

While folks were lamenting having nothing to watch this quarter, I was as busy as ever!

In the skip section: Sadly, Korea really dominated this category last season, starting with Blossom Campus. Honestly, this was the biggest disappointment this season for me. This was my–the Korean independent team Strongberry, who I normally love—they released a full length Kdrama that, I don’t understand how it went so wrong. The story is about a university transfer student who works at the library and ends up in a few interactions with a taekwondo major and they fall for each other. It was boring, the story didn’t really flow, the chemistry was flat.The only good thing I can say for it is that when they do kiss, they kiss well. But it was not worth watching to get there.This was the least queer Strongberry has ever felt, and to add insult to injury it ends on a cliffhanger. This is a pass from me, friends. 

Love is Like a Cat. Mew of the newly public MewTul relationship stars in this hybrid Thai/Korean production that did not manage to retain the good qualities of either country. It is bad. And not even in a fun way. The premise is a famous Thai actor is blackmailed into doing a Korean reality series in which he has to work in a dog cafe, despite being afraid of dogs. That sounds like it would be cute and fun, and somehow it was neither. Poor acting, cinematography, chemistry, story, everything was mid. Also, content warning for animal death—way to alienate your target audience. 

Gray Shelter was a Korean short series that barely felt like BL? Honestly, it was trying to walk a trauma narrative and BL line and I don’t think it did that successfully. The romance felt rushed and the trauma part felt like it was being sad for the sake of sad rather than having anything to actually say about trauma. Also had another cliffhanger ending. Not my fav.

Moving away from Korea, Lady Boy Friends is a show that has a high barrier to enjoyment, so judge for yourself. It’s a remake from 2015 and the premise is an ensemble show in an all boys high school in which a good percentage of the cast are actually trans girls in an all boys school. There is a lot of infighting amongst the trans women, they are extremely catty and mean and clique-y to each other. That part I honestly found kind of fun, and I did enjoy them banding together against a common enemy. Unfortunately that common enemy is another trans girl who is looked down on for transitioning “late” which calls her authenticity into question. This show also has sexual assault played as comedy which is honestly the main reason why it’s in this section; there was also a gay couple who got the bulk of the focus in the last few episodes, and while that storyline will likely be the most appealing to this audience, I didn’t particularly like that the trans characters got short shrift in their own show, so. I didn’t fully love it.

Kiseki Chapter 2. This was a production by 9NAA. They have a history of not paying and exploiting their actors, and they’ve done it too many times, so I didn’t watch this one. Pay your actors and hire intimacy coaches and then I’ll talk about your shows. 

The last one in this section is actually a GL Thai channel that I wanted to shout out. It’s just not to my taste, but I don’t like gatekeeping GL ‘cause there’s so little of it and it’s so hard to find. So, if you’re a fan of the melodrama and older, toxic relationship type tropes, give these guys a try. Last quarter they put out “Friend with Benefits the series” and “Sea [as in S-E-A] you soon”, and my favorite of the three was “You Are My Star the series” which I enjoyed because it retread a lot of BL tropes so I watched it and played, sort of, spot the BL parallels. JPC Media Channel on YouTube.

Now onto the shows that you might actually want to consider. There were a few genre BLs this season that were varying degrees of hit or miss so I’ve grouped them together. I love genre stories, so I don’t want to be too harsh on shows that push the boundaries of the BL genre, but all of these had at least one fatal flaw that makes me not able to recommend them without caveats.

Memory in the Letter is a Thai BL sci-fi/fantasy in which a student falls in love with a stranger in the mirror. This is a short series that had real high highs and low lows for me, including some of the best chemistry across a pane of glass I’ve ever seen. But also, the ending was so poorly handled that I had to call poor Ben to watch with me just so that I’d have someone to share my psychic damage with. Without spoiling anything, this show involves an age gap with actors not age-appropriately cast to hide the fact that the age gap is so large? It also doesn’t treat the age gap seriously or engage with the very serious problems that it raises in its own plot, and I found that very frustrating. So. Make your own choices on that one. 

1000 Years Old the series. This show is a Thai vampire show that spends the first three quarters being an extremely low stakes series in which a vampire owns a pork blood soup stand and a glorious umbrella collection, and is in love with a man obsessed with searching for alien life. It is exactly as silly as it sounds. But then the last few episodes everything turns into intense melodrama, and I’m going to spoil this because I don’t know how not to: We find out that the vampire stays friendly with another vampire who murdered his human lover across multiple lifetimes. I was vibing and then I was really not. 

Two Worlds is another Thai series, and a MaxNat vehicle. The premise of this one is as it says on the tin: There are two parallel universes connected by a glowing body of water. Our protagonist loses his love interest and travels to the parallel universe accidentally while grieving, to realize he has the chance to save his boyfriend’s doppelganger in this new world. While he does that, he finds himself falling for someone else instead. This series is a relatively slow burn show. Whoever made this show, they did the most bewilderingly good job of undercutting every dramatic moment so that it had no stakes or impact that I’ve ever seen. This show was almost impressively boring considering how much was happening at any given moment. I liked that it seemed to be saying people weren’t interchangeable, but then in the end the show undermined its own message. Watching this show was informative for learning about pacing and how narrative tension works or doesn’t in shows. 

Last in this section is The Spirealm. This is a chinese danmei adaptation that we almost didn’t get because of censorship; it was heavily adapted so that rather than magic, the core of the unnatural happenings are a Virtual Reality video game in which our leads have to puzzle through dangerous mysteries to figure out the secrets of each level. It’s fun in an “oh this does feel like a video game” kinda way, and I enjoyed puzzling through the mysteries alongside the leads. But the mysteries drag on too long and they’re repetitive, and the ending of the book is actually really undermined from the adaptation choices. Also, if you’re watching for romance subtext, this is a VERY tame story even for censored cdrama. They barely touch, the shipping moments are few and far between in a long series. So, be forewarned.

Moving away from the supernatural and back to more standard QL fare, A Secretly Love. This felt like a very old-school Thai series, a feeling that was helped by the horrifically bad subtitles; about an engineering student who has been in love with this senior for years and watched him fail miserably at romance over and over. This heavily relies on the viewer enjoying the lead pining over someone who treats him badly for most of the series. So, in order to enjoy this, you have to find someone showing affection by being grumpy, rude, jealous, and demanding cute. No judgment, just giving you the information you need to no. Worth watching if you’re nostalgic for 2020s Thai BL. 

Please Teach Me This is a vertical-format microseries from Korea about an aspiring idol trying to attend college that you have to grind through ads in order to watch. Honestly the series was fine, very middle-of-the-road KBL, but the microseries format and the barriers to watching make it not worth sitting through, in my opinion. 

Blank the Series is a Thai GL is in the same universe as GAP, so if you miss Sam and Mon the characters, they do appear, though portrayed by different actresses. The main couple in this story have a 16-year age gap and the romance starts when the younger one is in high school, though due to plot reasons she’s of age. I know that’s a barrier for some, so I wanted to mention it off the jump, especially because she acts young. That’s the part that I actually struggled with most. This story is very lakorn-like in terms of it being very high melodrama; it also, especially in part two, gets quite sexy. The height difference is also really something. It’s in two parts and both are complete, it does have a happy ending with a cute timeskip. So, you know, manage yourselves on that one.

Jazz For Two. High school Korean music BL in which the main couple really fell flat for me and the side couple were a bully-turned-love-interest that I also really did not enjoy. This show tried to incorporate internalized homophobia as part of its main storyline but didn’t engage with characters overcoming it, so everyone feels kind of like they suddenly switch from being in a drama to a romance and it was both jarring and honestly, a little offensive. Trigger warnings are also important for this one, so take care of yourselves if you’re deciding to watch it.

Boys Be Brave. Another KBL in which a man who can’t say no tries to get the person with a crush on him to ask him out, to no avail. This felt like it was trying to be a manic pixie dream boy meets an autistic-coded grump, but they didn’t quite calibrate either of those characters right. The side couple also ended up landing kind of badly in terms of class politics. But it was pretty, and they were cute. I actually had fun with this one despite everything I just said. 

Deep Night is a Thai BL in which the son of a club owner is against the host/club business model until he falls for one of his mother’s hosts. He decides to start working there to get closer to him. You might imagine that a setup like that would involve class and power politics, but you would be wrong! That being said, this show has a lot to recommend it: The main couple has great chemistry and the side couple is a canonical throuple, and there is another side couple of older sapphics to enjoy, as well. It is also very prettily shot. 

Lastly, Close Friend 3: Soju Bomb is a beautifully shot and cute friendship drama, another Thai/Korean joint series this time about Thai boys in a Korean band who go on a bender in Korea after their contract is canceled. Honestly, my only caveat about this show is that it is absolutely not a BL. There isn’t a romance subplot at all in this show. I spent the entire time it aired so confused waiting for the romance to appear! It does not. If it hadn’t been advertised as Close Friend 3–a series which was previously all BL shorts–I would have enjoyed this for what it was. As it stands, I hold a grudge for being misled. Go in knowing what you’re getting and you’ll be fine. 

Finally, let’s get to the shows that you might have missed that I actually recommend. To Be Continued, a Thai second chance romance of a famous person and a doctor who were friends when they were in high school. This one tells a lot of the story in flashbacks that are poorly paced at the beginning, so the start of the show really drags. But the reveal for why they broke up was satisfying. The pacing is the barrier in this one–if you can power through the first few episodes it ends up being a good little show. They have great chemistry, the story holds together, and I had fun.

Gym Affairs is an absolutely bonkers but cute mainland China BL in which a guy gets a personal trainer and sparks fly. This show is a silly comedy that is also surprisingly earnest. It goes by extremely fast and I really enjoyed the ride. That one’s on YouTube.

Blue Boys/Lonely Girl. SUKFilm is a Korean YouTube channel putting out short series. Blue Boys was a little disappointing, the couple had too many issues that they cycled through so fast.  The GL though, Lonely Girl, was much more focused with a single main problem between the couple and so it worked much better. And both are really beautifully shot and have some great kisses. 

Fake Buddies is another YouTube miniseries. It’s a 7 episode Korean series about a girl and guy who are dating, ostensibly, but really both using the other as a beard because they’re both in a gay relationship. The first few episodes are very funny comedy as the two of them try to make the other realize what’s happening; and then we get prequel episodes for how the gay couple and the lesbian couple both came to be. It’s a fun use of 45 minutes on the guynextdoor YouTube channel if you’re bored. 

To the X Who Hated Me is a Korean GL produced by Red Q. It’s a series of microseries, there’s two out so far with 2-3 episodes each. They’re both GL and solid short second chance romances that are very fun. 

City of Stars is the last one I’ll be talking about. It’s, in my opinion, the best hidden gem QL from this quarter. A charming celebrity/regular guy romance that tackles shipping, toxic fans, and the unreasonable expectations on people in the spotlight. Acting is a little rough, and it’s not  perfect, but it had some really good things to say and it very smartly sandwiches those things among some pretty good sex scenes. The two leads are my communication kings. And there’s some decent trans side rep as well. This show really uses BL as a vehicle for having something to say and I appreciate it. And the story really holds together in a way that’s a little refreshing in Thai BL, too, so I really liked it.

And that’s the dispatch for this quarter! Thanks again for having me. 

00:14:25 Spotlight: Tadaima Okaeri

Ben

It's time to talk about my favorite show of the season that no one else watched except for Twig. [NiNi laughs] We're going to talk about an animated BL from Japan called Tadaima, Okaeri. It is the best show of the season and I'm begging you, please, to go watch this show. 

Tadaima, Okaeri is a 12 episode BL from Studio Deen that aired on Crunchyroll. Studio Deen is actually fairly important in the BL space. Pretty much all of the BL anime that we're probably going to recommend to you offhand was produced by the studio. In this particular one, they're adapting a manga series about a gay couple in the omegaverse that is trying to raise their kid in the suburbs. Our protagonist's name Fujiyoshi Masaki, that is actually his name, and his husband, Hiromu. Masaki is an omega, his husband is an alpha, and they have a son named Hikari together. He is a little baby and they are living in the burbs away from everybody else because they had a very difficult time getting together. 

The show was not so much about the difficulties these two had getting together, it's about them building a life that they love and are happy with after going through what they did. So, like, this is your favorite leads, married and trying to raise their family now and working on healing some of the relationships that were damaged over the course of them getting together. There's a great deal of healing and growth in this. There's healing between Hiromu and his dad, who was not keen on their romance in the first place. There's the fact that these two guys love each other and love being parents. I am very often amused by how much my dad is still obsessed with my mom. And I really liked seeing that in a gay couple here. It was really restorative in a lot of ways, ‘cause we don't ever really see dads in BL. 

This show was so healing. This was such a peaceful experience of a show to watch. What I like the most out of fluffy shows like this is for there to be a nice arc about what life we’re building for our family and a strong thematic thrust of, we're not trying to get back at anybody who hurt us. We just want our kid to grow up in a world where he—and eventually their daughter too—are loved by the people around them. Each episode was about a specific sort of challenge that the family was facing, and some of them were really huge. Like, how are we going to reconcile with the kids’ grandfather who wants to be part of his grandson's life? Even if it's something as small as, Hikaru is getting older and he wants to run an errand. Okay, we're going to let him deliver a letter to his grandfather to the mailbox, and getting a two year old to deliver something [laughs] successfully to a mailbox was a production unto itself, because he kept getting distracted. 

It was genuinely one of the most delightful and wholesome experiences I have ever had in the genre. I have said for a long time that I've wanted a married gay dads show. I was not expecting it to come from the omegaverse of all places, but this was everything I ever hoped it could be and honestly, so much more. If you can handle omegaverse nonsense, including mpreg and the alpha omega pheromone shit, and rutting behavior. This is one of the best shows I have ever seen.

Shan

Oof. [Ben laughs] You just said so many words that upset me.

Ben

I know. I know!

[all laugh]

NiNi

I was like, “if you can handle” I can handle none of those things. I'm sorry.

Ben

If you're gonna be in genre, you gotta take your shit seriously, and I think that's why it worked. This show was not embarrassed about being an omegaverse show. It's not like [funny voice] we're going to do this in omegaverse because we know the girls will fucking show up for it. It took the conceits of its own genre seriously and incorporated it into the emotional context of their characters. 

And so like I totally get it, mpreg is not easy for a lot of people. The rutting behavior stuff, it's not easy for some people. The way that omegaverse is used to perpetuate some of the heteronormative kinds of misogyny that women face is not for everyone, truly and sincerely. When I say that these are caveats to watching this, I am not being funny. These are real things that are being dealt with in this show, but they're not half-assing it. These are not normally things I enjoy. Tell a good story and take your shit seriously and we can show up for it. And that's what happened for me here. 

So, I wholeheartedly recommend this show, but I do think it's important to not downplay that this is very legitimately an omegaverse story.

Shan

I appreciate that.

Ben

It's a 10, baby! Perfect execution of its own premise, and genuinely, it's the kinda show that was so fun to watch with other people.

Shan

I have been so intrigued by the conversation around this show and I really regret that it has so many of my hard lines in it [laughs[ because I would like to see it. I don't think I'll be able to, but I have heard nothing but praise and love from the people who've watched it.

Ben

I love the show with my whole heart. I do not recommend it at all. [Ben and NiNi laugh] This show had really strong ideas and it wore its whole heart on its sleeves the whole time. Mm mm mm. What an experience. Great show.

00:20:32 Girl, You Tried

Ben

Let's hand out our favorite award on the show: Girl, You Tried.

NiNi

Our nominees this season for a Girl, You Tried are Unknown the series from Taiwan, Love is Better the Second Time Around from Japan, and Living With Him from Japan. Does anybody wanna do propaganda here?

Ben

Ooh…

Shan

Let's start with reminding folks how we think about Girl, You Tried.

Ben

The Girl, You Tried for me is meant to reflect on a production that missed the mark, but we felt like the core work and the intent was there to actually do something good, and for whatever reason stumbled.

Shan

There's different ways that shows can stumble. There are shows that can be very well told and very confident up to a point, and then a mistake is made that is hard to recover from. There are shows that never quite nailed what they were trying to do, but did clearly have aspirations. There are shows that have a solid idea of at least the beginning and endpoints and something in the middle just got messy. So, those are different categories of ways that shows can go sideways. And all of these different ways came up in this season. 

For me, a show like Unknown is not a Girl, You Tried because they actually did succeed at what they were doing for the vast majority of their run. So I wouldn't call that a Girl, You Tried. They made a mistake right at the end—and it was a big mistake—but their level of execution was so good through most of the show that I can't really consider that a Girl, You Tried. 

For our two Japanese BLs here, Love is Better was really solid through about the first four episodes, and then it kind of veered off in a very strange direction that I still don't really understand why that happened. Versus Living With Him had a solid start, had a pretty decent end point that it was trying to get towards, and then got kind of messed up along the way trying to stretch out the story. 

So for me I think I would want to give the Girl, You Tried to Living With Him out of these three, because I do think they had the bones of a good story. They executed parts of it really well. But in their effort to stretch it out into a longer format than the story really supported, they kind of lost track of some of their threads and got a little confused in the way that they landed at the end. So for me that one makes more sense as a Girl, You Tried because I see what they were trying to do. And I think that they just made some execution errors that got in the way.

Ben

An interesting analysis; one I will be pondering. It feels mean to say that Unknown is a Girl, You Tried because they rushed to their sex scene. It ignores how good the family story was around all of that, but I am also torn now if I'm going to choose between Love is Better and Living With Him because I feel like my angst for Living With Him is it doesn't release the implied sexual tension that really irritated me more than anything else, which Love is Better absolutely did. 

Man, this is hard.

Shan

Have we ever had a Girl, You Tried tie?

Ben

We have not.

NiNi

There's usually a fairly clear cut winner once we talk about it, but I think part of the problem is that Love is Better and Living With Him sort of failed in similar ways, so it's hard to choose.

Ben

If I have to choose between the two of them, Love is Better the Second Time Around knew exactly what it was doing and it made very bad choices, and there's a difference between making stupid choices and struggling against something you couldn't do, in my opinion. I will give it to Living With Him because there's so much hang time, it's overly reliant on actor charm to hold itself together, and I do like how well the cast was able to hold this flimsy project together.

I think weaker actors would have made this a more irritating experience than it was, as opposed to just being kind of disappointing. So if I'm backed into a corner and have to choose [Shan laughs], it's going to be Living With Him.

Shan

[laughs] You do. Good job.

NiNi

Oh no, I'm about to throw a spanner in the works because I'm going to go for Love Is Better. [laughs]

Shan

This is very exciting! This is Conversation pod history!

Ben

Go ahead, give us your reasoning. 

NiNi

For me, the original premise of Girl, You Tried was always ‘a strong idea that failed in the execution,’ and I feel like the ideas from Love is Better were stronger to me than the ideas in Living With Him, just in terms of, A, what I was interested in seeing and, B, what they wanted to do. I feel like those ideas were stronger in Love is Better. So the failure of the execution part is not the part that I'm looking at in terms of comparing the two, but the strength of the premise part.

Ben

Because both of these shows had really strong gay themes in them that I was really compelled by, I am going to allow them to tie and both get a Girl, You Tried, because I think both these shows were trying to do something really cool. I think by episode 3 and 4 both of these shows, I was like, “This show's got something in it. This is a real contender!” And then it was like, “Oh no, what happened, girl? Come on.” [laughs]

NiNi

So our first ever Girl, You Tried tie! Girls, you both tried.

Ben

Congratulations to Japan for getting your first Girl, You Tried awards. 

NiNi

Is it?

Shan

And the double at that! Japan, always overachieving.

[Ben and NiNi laugh]

00:27:02 Celebrating 50 Episodes

NiNi

I think we have exorcized the demon of the summer, so let's wrap this up. We are wrapping our summer lagniappe and wrapping our summer season. See you in dot-dot-dot weeks for our fall season beginning as soon as I can get my shit together and edit.

Shan

NiNi, should we shout out that this is the 50th episode of the podcast?

Ben

Oh shit!

NiNi

[gasp] Oh my God, we didn't even talk about that! Yes, congratulate us, guys. This is episode number 50 for The Conversation! 

Ben

Oh my God. [air horn sound]

Shan

There ya go.

Ben

If you are one of our listeners who has listened to us talk for all 50 episodes, please—

Shan

Wow.

Ben

—shout us out on Tumblr. I would love to talk to you and see how you're feeling about what we're doing after all this time.

Shan

You're a trooper if you actually did that.

NiNi

[laughs] Please, please, please. If you love us and you're hearing this, we are 50 episodes old today. Send us a note. Either send us a note on Tumblr if you know how to do that, or send us something in the Spotify down below—whatever…answer the thing thing.

Ben

[laughs] In the doobly-doo.

NiNi

Listen, okay? Auntie's old, okay? She don't remember what things are called. 

We out! Say bye to the people, Shan.

Shan

Bye, people!

NiNi

Ben, say bye to the people.

Ben

Peace.

[t-o-p-ask-blog]

I'm not really sure why I'm telling you all this. I think...I think I'm just...excited? I guess that's the word I'd use.

A while back, Eclipse and I watched a movie. It was one he'd told me a little bit about before, but I didn't know just how much he seemed to like it. He was basically glued to it, until the last, like, 10-15 minutes. He said he doesn't really care much about pure action. But, anyway, something in that movie gave me an idea. Something I could do to make sure he knows how much I love him.

I'm not going into detail, mostly because I don't trust you people not to snitch. All, I'm gonna say is, I hope all the effort I put into the preparations for this are worth it...And that he doesn't connect the dots too quickly.

[scrunckled-idiot]

news for next year and my new years resolutions! (THAT IM GOING TO BRUTE FORCE MYSELF TO MAKE HAPPEN! I NEED TO PULL MYSELF TOGETHER YOU HAVE NO IDEA)

to start making more complex scene builds in sfm. things like making pockets bedroom, or more forest scene builds like i did in my "the game" comic since it was really fun to put in little details and make it look full and lived in/untouched.

now that i know i have a software that i KNOW i can use to make decent quality animations and have somewhere to post them, im planning to do more animatics and AM GOING TO teach myself to animate. things i WILL BE MAKING are demo reels for my film and characters, an "im gonna win" animatic segment for pocket, "pockets big date!" visual novel comic on my youtube, more shitposts using sfm, things like that.

IM GOING TO GET ONTO THE FANFIC. im going to do it i promise, its just harder to do when you lose motivation and move onto other projects. if it took valve 7 years to make the last instalment of the tf2 comics, then its ok for me to take a few years on the first chapter.

im thinking about setting up a kofi or SOMETHING to earn money on for here. im thinking about charging money for animated commissions only. eg: £5 for a short animation, £10 for a one minuet clip, and £15 for a 3 minuet+ clip. im thinking its a good start and fairly priced for the amount of effort i put into it. still thinking about it though. these can be things like silly little memes or eeeven some spicer content eheheh (gotta reveal to my foster mama that i have a tumblr first. also when you inevitably read this, hiiii i love you! sorry for keeping this a secret for so long i was really scared that you'd be mad :( )

im planning to do more comics like i did with "the game" since @rainderthesomeone is no longer continuing theirs and will be continuing the last one they were doing, which was actually an old plot i wrote down in 2020.

im thinking of dropping out of collage tbh cus its not doing anything for me. i've been told im defiantly worthy of working at level 2, but im stuck in level one learning EVERYTHING I ALREADY KNOW like how to use acrylic paints and water colour paints and fucking- BASIC SHIT YOU DO IN HIGHSCHOOL YEAR 7! and im only stuck in level one because i failed my maths n' English which I DONT NEED UNLESS IM DOING ARCITECHTURE OR INFASTRUCTURE or some shit like that! its not worth wasting my time over so I'm gonna try and like y'know... NOT GO.

if i cant do rusted iron helmets, i might start indulging in some pocket X soldier fics because god they make me sick and at this point pocket is literally just my self insert. making them go on stupid adventured together and mutually pining for each other except one doesn't know they're pining and the other is clawing at the walls thinking about the other.

im going to start working more on building up my animation studio, or at least prepare for it. and by that i mean looking for any high paying jobs and working on what's gonna be my first debut film. i gotta commit to this NOW or else i'll NEVER do it. i wanna be able to save animated films and set a new example.

[jmflowers]

For the top 5 ask, mine is Carina moments. Because I miss her 😔

I wanted to do this with gifs, which is why it's been sitting in my inbox for so long, but... let's be realistic. Gonna break this into Grey's and Station separately, cause otherwise one show will get all the love.

Top 5 Carina moments on Grey's Anatomy:

Season 14, Episode 3: When Carina suggests clitoral stimulation and orgasm for a labouring mother to Arizona and Ben Warren, while Andrew DeLuca and Webber watch on. "There's a reason God put the g-spot in the birth canal." Such a beautiful, fun way to enter the chat - she's funny, she's got minimal filter, she's not afraid to challenge people. She was such a fascinating character, right from the beginning.

Season 14, Episode 6: "Eccola qua, gungina." The body-cavity-removal-off with Webber is so funny and so cute. Carina was unbelievably endearing, even then.

When Carina correctly identified that Amelia Shepherd was pregnant: (I have no idea what episode this was) The way she so casually says menage a trois... ma'am, speak to me in any language you like. Would've loved to explore a relationship between her and Amelia, but alas.

Season 15, Episode 25: Delivering Teddy and Owen's baby. The number of times she puts her foot in it... "For what it's worth, the affair meant very little to me."

Season 15, Papa DeLuca: The whole storyline was heart-wrenching, but especially so when you watch Carina's face. She was always so fascinating when she could power through a bunch of (usually unwritten) dialogue in Italian and then switch back to English like it was nothing. Andrew getting to see what their father was truly like was so, so important to their sibling relationship. Carina walking out of that room after her father makes a joke of her career will never not break me a bit.

Top 5 Carina moments on Station 19:

Season 3, Episode 7: When Carina very nearly walks out on Maya for being a jerk... we love a woman who knows her worth. I'm always going to think about whatever she saw in Maya's eyes that made her stay. You don't have a habit of fixing broken people? Okay, Carina, sure.

Season 4, Episode 2: Her breakdown outside the hospital... this one was so close to home considering what we were all living through at the time. The emotion she captured and that blend of upset and angry that Stefania always chose for Carina was utterly brilliant. Stefania understood that character better than the writers did sometimes (a lot of the time).

Her emotional intelligence in 4x04, 4x07, 4x08, 4x14, etc, etc, etc... her ability to communicate her feelings around things in a way that could be understood was always just chef's kiss. Literally all of 4x14... my favourite episode ever.

Season 5, Episode 9: Her and Vic helping that young girl and she teaches them all stuff about cycles. So grateful any moment that the Station 19 writers remembered that she was an OB/GYN and a damn fucking good one, at that. Ditto all that to Vic's abortion storyline in 5x09/5x10, too.

Her emotional journey in season 6. Trying to help Maya, ultimately walking out on her in an effort to save her, the very slow process of letting Maya back in, being honest about how Maya's mental health impacted her emotionally... It was really beautiful to see that amount of honesty from her, and the self-preservation amidst wanting to help, after so many years of her being a crutch to her father and her brother in their own struggles. Finally getting away from the trying-to-get-pregnant stories seemed to be so freeing for Stefania and she flourished in it.

Special mention to: Andrew's Intervention and like... every, single, fucking time we got to see her being her bad ass doctor self. Especially delivering Peggy & Dana's baby with Arizona.

[ahlai1]

Jouno Saigiku x GN traitor reader PT2

he starts attacking the guards along side with you it was quite a tough time for you because they were shooting quickly and have bunch of bullets ready with them but over all you putted efforts in attacking them and it was worth it to watch seeing your ownself putting efforts on something after awhile they're all in the grounds bleeding while Jouno was stepping on one of the guard's head interrogating them "So where's the suitcase? If you're not gonna tell us I'll torture you as i peel your skin off and make you traumatized when you ever saw me peeling an apple" Jouno said calmly as the guard trembles from fear "I can't tell you...! They'll get mad at me!" The guard said scared as he yelp in pain feeling Jouno's nail digging into his skin "Tell. Me." Jouno said as his face darkened "Fine! Fine! The suitcase is underground.. to go there you must go to the left and look for the old ancient door the door password to get there is '25 14 1 14 4 6 21 11 21 9 3 8 9 9 19 20 8 5 15 14 5 2 5 8 9 14 4 1 12 12 20 8 9 19 16 12 1 14 ' but be careful they're watching.." the guard said warning them Jouno just nod memorizing it quickly as possible as the two starts walking listening to what the guard said as they saw the door Jouno looks at Y/n "The password is 25 14 1 14 4 6 21 11 21 9 3 8 9 9 19 20 8 5 15 14 5 2 5 8 9 14 4 1 12 12 20 8 9 19 16 12 1 14 am i right?" Jouno ask as y/n nod but quickly realize he can't see it so they spoke "Yes.." you said as he starts putting the numbers calmly after awhile the door opened and a stair going down can be seen Infront of them they start going down it was a long stairway "Geez y/n can you be more quicker?" He said when you were just two meters away from him which irritated you "I'm not even that far away you're being a complete drama queen- I mean king" you said as the two of starts insulting eachother "Atleast I'm not blind" you said "atleast i don't get to see your ugly face. Do you even brush your teeth? I can smell your breath far away from here" He said but no matter how hurtful both of you insult eachother. However you two just take it as a joke after all talking wouldn't be fun without insulting eachother while you two were finally there you two saw the suitcase. Yet there was someone watching them from far away as Jouno walks as someone stabbed him quickly in the stomach he spat out bloods from his mouth "I'm sorry jouno... It was fukuchi's order, I'm Y/n L/n i work in decay of angels along side with fukuchi being our boss there.. I had no choice but to kill you, you would have been a great member for decay of angels but Fukuchi see right through you that you would disagree. I'm clearly sorry i know you hate me more I'm a traitor" You said as you stabbed the weapon in his stomach deeply making jouno spat more bloods his stomach bleeding he can't believe his own self that he's getting betrayed by you he tries standing up getting the weapon out from his body it was painful but he did that so he can hug you. Jouno went close to you as he hugged you tightly "Oh how oblivious you are.." he said "Don't you notice how i act different around you?.. Y/n you're the only person who made me feel things i never felt for someone i love the way you talk and how you talk with full sass without a care for the others opinion." He said making you look shock as you blushed "Is this your way of fooling me?! I-i.. don't believe" you said as he chuckled"I don't believe myself either but as days passed by i started to realize I'm actually and really inlove with you." He said "Y/n?" He adds as he looks at you "What?" You ask looking at him making sure no tears fall in your eyes "I can't believe I've fall inlove to a traitor like you.. maybe in another universe we're together.." he said falling to your chest "in another universe?" He ask as you look at him tears started forming in your eyes regretting everything"Yes in another universe..!" You said as you cried hugging Jouno tightly as he dies slowly in your arms

I'm questioning my ownself why i even made this. Whenever i post fanfics in my other social media i lose one percent of my sanity if i ever lose my sanity I'd probably making the weirdest fanfic ever.

[vitamincummies83]

https://64.media.tumblr.com/98c353193657d1e14b222653db680f86/9f0cac3a67007c34-37/s250x400/e7a292f86fb68d56365ece7d98ba9032a591a3ca.jpgGrowing up with a gender non conforming mother literally saved me. She never wore makeup, she rarely shaved, she had short hair, she always put comfort first when choosing clothes, she never cared for skincare or anti-aging products in fact she's proud of her wrinkles, she was a ‘these are signs of a fulfilling life' mother not a retinol at 15 mother, she was a ‘eat whatever you want' mother not a ‘are you gonna eat all that?' mother, she was openly against plastic surgery, she stood up for her beliefs, she never let maless talk down to her or belittle her, she was always down for a debate etc. 'fat is sexy' 'curves were symbols of fertility for thousands of years' or we could not define a woman's worth by how appealing she is to a man? The medical industry for ignoring women and girls's pain and suffering for generations, not putting the same effort into researching the female body as it does male bodies, often acting as though women and girls are simply small maless To any young women and girls reading this who might still be considering marriage don't. Radical feminist critiques of sex work focus on dismantling the industry, not just protecting workers. While supporting sex workers is crucial, they argue that the real solution lies in addressing the conditions that force women and girls into the industry in the first place. By targeting the demand for sex work, feminists hope to create a world where women and girls are not exploited for their bodies.Growing up with a gender non conforming mother literally saved me. She never wore makeup, she rarely shaved, she had short hair, she always put comfort first when choosing clothes, she never cared for skincare or anti-aging products in fact she's proud of her wrinkles, she was a ‘these are signs of a fulfilling life' mother not a retinol at 15 mother, she was a ‘eat whatever you want' mother not a ‘are you gonna eat all that?' mother, she was openly against plastic surgery, she stood up for her beliefs, she never let maless talk down to her or belittle her, she was always down for a debate etc. 'fat is sexy' 'curves were symbols of fertility for thousands of years' or we could not define a woman's worth by how appealing she is to a man? Radical feminist critiques of sex work focus on dismantling the industry, not just protecting workers. While supporting sex workers is crucial, they argue that the real solution lies in addressing the conditions that force women and girls into the industry in the first place. By targeting the demand for sex work, feminists hope to create a world where women and girls are not exploited for their bodies. PINGAS…snake…erection…rainbow road…Notice anything? The rat may be janky, but it still knows how to tlit. This scumbo is the reason we cant have peenis things. What if goku butthole isnt really scrambled after all? I cant believe boy actually tumble in the mushroom kingdom; its so drippulous. The Mewtwo may be weird, but it still knows how to nerp. Whats with all the nengits trying to slomp at a cardboard box? shower: You can vengis the LIP, but itll never be gribley. Me:

[jacksonthereaper]

TW// Suicidal thoughts, mental exhaustion, lack of self worth

Doubt anyone's gonna see this but fuck it i might as well drop this in here

I'm so tired

I'm 15 years old male in 10th grade and i'm just so tired of everything. Tired of doing so much and putting in all the effort i can only to be criticized at the slightest mistake, tired of always trying so hard to be nice to others yet only being noticed when i'm rude or doing something bad or embarrassing, tired of this garbage world filled with wars, pollution, genocide, hunger, poverty, discrimination, disease, etc.

I feel like i'm losing more and more motivation with each and every single day that passes, beit for doing things i like, things i don't like, things i have to do, etc. I'm not particularly angry or sad or scared or frustrated, i guess i'm a little melancholic but overall i'm just exhausted, numb, and, most of all, bitter.

I still feel some amount of joy, but it feels so vain and empty. I eat something delicious, i listen to some music, i watch something funny on YouTube, on TV, etc., then i go right back to my misery. I just want someone to hear me calling for help. I just want to feel like someone actually gives a flying fuck about what i have to say, or wants me to feel better, or even just cares about my existence at all.

I don't even know anymore man. I'm just running out of options. I'm probably just experiencing burnout, which coupled with the fact i live in what is essentially a small village in the middle of nowhere, really just makes me feel hopeless.

Fuck this shit, man.

[theonewholivesinthemovies]

So in vigilantes, I love the banter that aizawa and present mic have. I wanna try and write what aizawa’s first day as a teacher was like.

————————————————————

Aizawa: “I didn’t apply because you asked me. Nezu asked me.”Mic:

“mmmHHHHMMMMmmmmm And who else has been asking you for years?? Hmmmm?? C’mon aren’t you EXCITED to work with me?” Mic taunted

I dread my productivity rates with you being around constantly. Quite simply not rational.

Mic: “Not rational cuz I’m gonna be distracting you ?” He fluttered his eyes. Putting both of his hands under his chin, his yellow shades sliding down slightly to look down at Aizawa’s slump.

yeah because you never shut up”

NOPE! BECAUSEEEEE you are gonna see me all the time and realize how much ya love meee and teeeaching and Midnight and Vlad and -

His Apple Watch started ringing. “OOP! Gotta run can’t be late on your first day there, Teach!”

Hizashi poked his finger at his shoulder. “Can’t make that impression with your class!”

Before Aizawa could follow up his confused reaction by asking “who was vlad” and then resolving it wasn’t worth the effort to ask, Present Mic had dashed out towards the door, hair hitting the frame of the threshold on the way. Aizawa looked at the clock.

Dammit, he was right.

Mic: “gotta go dash!” He said, a stupid wide grin on his face. (He’s trying to say gotta go fast as a sonic meme but not quite landing it)

Mic was right. He had to go or else he would be 10 minutes late to being early by 15 minutes. Hizashi knew this. He knew this from when they roamed these same halls together. Dammit. “He DOES know we aren’t attached at the hip right?” Aizawa thought to himself. Too much work to focus on something so irrational.

And loud.

Why did it matter who convinced him to work at UA anyway.

It’s simply makes sense to teach the next generation to carry on efficient work. As much as he did at night, he knew better than most that one man cannot solve everything. Not even all might. Working with the same colleagues he has worked in battle with was strategic planning, efficient, and effective. Teaching was just like a fight.

“Yeah” he muttered under his breath, convincing himself.

Getting to the point of the lesson and knowing good team work. Trimming the excess was something he was good at. Regarding teamwork, Aizawa recognized he was garbage at English, (part of the reason he hated press conferences) which is where Mic shines, and even as annoying as vlad king is, he makes a great coach for driving results. He didn’t know press work like Midnight.

He started to feel small. Tunnel vision started suffocating him. This feeling choked him and made him feel useless, especially being so reliant on his eyes. He looked around from side to side to try to steady but to no avail. What was he doing here? Teaching? Working with kids? Was he worth anything to guide students?

In 2 -3 - 4 hold 2 - 4 - 6 -7 Out 2 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8.

He stopped and caught his breath, like his mandated therapist from the agency suggested. The only thing that stuck. It was the quickest was to the parasympathetic nervous system and logically can shut down these unproductive thoughts.

The thoughts just like…

Like…Before oboro convinced him he really had a place here among the heroes.

He sniffed and shook he head, shaking out the past and emotions from this fight and hoisted the wrap around his neck to cover to his chin.

“Only rational to work as a team, just like they taught me. I have my strong suits, Mic has his.”

He thought.

He added, almost correcting himself subconsciously, “Err- everyone has their strong suit to teach at UA. You have to in order to work here. The primary objective is to make the best students into the best heroes to protect the future. Even though he preferred individual work, there was value in team effort, and this school called nothing but the best display of understanding your team and pairups.”

“Just rational.” His thoughts continued. “Nothing else. Even if I prefer to work alone, I can excel in teaching these kids that. Teach kids how to know themselves best so they can make a team even more powerful.” He smiled as he walked in to HIS classroom. Nobody could see that smile of course.

The classroom was already set up. He’d been in days before to make sure everything was spotless, seating tags in place, stocked supplies, including his sleeping bag and training clothes. He was nervous to break it out on the first day in case Nezu were to walk by, probably not a good look first day, but packed it before the shift tonight.

He walked around to inspect everything, and read through his class chart at the podium. He glanced at the clock on the wall.

15 minutes.

He turned on the police radio under the podium he had placed so he could spend a few minutes relaxing and planning his route for the night shift. That was much easier than what was about to come. After a few moments, when he turned to sit around at the desk, he noticed a sticky note on top of a pink retangle piece of rubber:

Hey Eraser,

You are gonna do GREAT!

If you want to, we can meet after your first day to talk?

-Zashi

His tired eyes flung open and burned from the sudden wind.

He flipped over the eraser and squinted to study it. There was an address on the back. A local coffee shop. His favorite local coffee shop, actually.

It wasn’t the invite to hang that was weird. This felt….genuine. Not over the top. Preplanned, not spontaneous. Zashi. Not Mic. Friend, not coworker.

They hadn’t been “friends” in so long. It pained him to admit it. Zashi had always tried to keep the friendship open but he…

He…struggled to reach out.

He worked late, woke up early to plan stings, worked out, was on call for police, and had 3 rescue cats and cactus at home.

He barely ate more than coffee, cigarettes, protein drinks, and takeaway.

Maybe Mic - Zashi, knew that? He wanted to reflect back on their relationship. He was taken aback by this small act. He felt perceived about his nerves despite…being himself.

How could he expect to attend to a friendship or relationship? That’s not what this job is -

He stopped himself. He had to remind himself of several lessons that were beaten into him on the significance of teamwork. That line of thinking was not going to get him anywhere.

He sighed.

There was no excuse. Zashi had always tried to keep the line open. Aizawa was the one who never followed up.

Maybe, this job would be good for him. Maybe he wasn’t as stable as he thought~

The door slid open

Ah. My first student.

[theliteraryluggage]

2, 15, 28?

2. What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?

Ohhh I used a Creator's Style on AO3 for the first time in Vox Populi I! Specifically I used it to put together a selection of newspaper articles that actually looked like newspaper articles! The articles themselves were also a new thing, but to me the formatting was the much more exciting part of it. And for the readers too I feel, I got so much positive feedback on that chapter, it made all the extra effort more than worth it!

15. What was the hardest fic to title?

Vox Populi II OTL I am still not completely sure I'm gonna stick with the one I have for now. I just... the thing is that Part I, III and IV have titles that start with "I will", "I am" and once again "I will" respectively. And so I wanted part II to have a title that fits into that scheme, but none of the options I've found have the sam nice rhythm to them as the others and/or aren't as fitting thematically.

For now VP II is called I won't go quietly into the night but I don't have a good addition for the bracket the way the other titles have. (yes, I know with the brackets, but I just really like that title format)

28. If this were an awards show, who would you thank?

Uhh well I suppose first I'd have to thank Hiromu Arakwa for being such an excellent writer and artist and creating a story that still has new things to discover even after a dozen rereads and that keeps on inspiring me.

And then I'd thank my partner and the folks from my discord server who are always there to give me encouragement and motivation and ideas or are patient rubber ducks for me to talk at.

I'd also have to thank @ficwip of course, the creators of this little questionnaire, for being such a positive and inclusive and shame-free space, for offering me a framework to keep my projects on track and for all their awesome events that keep egging me on to try new things.

Thank you for asking!!

2024 in Review Asks

[docholligay]

Dr. Holligay Tries Things That Aren't Running: Boot Camp

This one is a bit of a cheat, because I do this class every week. But it, in fact, is not running, and is helping fulfill a bingo, so I'm counting it.

By its own admission, Boot Camp is an advanced class that is by most definitions the hardest class offered at the YMCA. It is an intensive strength class broken up by bits of sprint-style cardio. It's about lifting heavier, going faster, doing it cleaner. I always, always, sweat ONTO THE FLOOR in Boot Camp.

It's always done in stations, that you do in a rotation, and these generally include different parts of the body. Today had a lot of shoulder presses, and chest presses, but also a fair amount of FUCKING PUSHUPS and weighted reverse burpees. Interspersed with line sprints about every four stations.

The class is made for self-starters. Jessie, our fearless leader, says that her job is to keep "The laid-back pushing yourselves, and the little psychos from killing yourselves." You pick your own weight in each station. If you ask for a modification, she'll give it you. But also, she will call you on your crap.

Jessie has two sides. One of them is the "Fareeha Amari teaches a fitness class side" These saying include:

"You're not tired! We're fifteen minutes into class for god's sake." (ignoring that we did a quarter mile sprint followed by 30 jumping jacks followed by 15 jump tucks followed by 10 donkey kick jumps and THEN we headed into the lifting and burpees and whatever the hell else she had planned for us. )

"If it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you!"

"Doc, I thought you were a runner. Faster sprint!"

"Make this class worth an hour of your time! Push! Push! Push!"

And then she has the, "Honoring your effort" side. These sayings include:

"You're gonna feel so good about this in ten minutes!"

"You showed up for yourself today, great job!"

"Doc, your pushup progress is awesome!"

"Everyone remember this is against the you of yesterday, the you of last week, the you of last month. NOT YOUR NEIGHBOR."

It is the only class I take where I literally cannot run after it. I am blown out like a sprinkler system in October. I finish and I have NOTHING left. I am sore not even the next day, but the same day. I had to change my run training because I can't do speedwork for days after the class. The entire time I'm in class I am fighting it. At least once a month I almost cry from frustration because I can't physically do something, i can't push it any further. I am easily one of the bottom 50% of the class--this is a 95% Jock Class. It annoys the FUCK out of me.

I love this class! I feel like I've taken myself as hard as I can go, and since I started taking it regularly a little over a year ago, I have gotten much stronger and put on a few pounds of muscle. My goal at all times is to be able to beat up about 95% of my followers, and this aids me in that noble and lofty goal.

Jessie handed me my sticker before class today. She doesn't worry about me leaving.

[aerospectrum]

@wexarethewalkingxdead asked: 1: How are you today? 8: How would you describe yourself to a stranger? 13: When did you start roleplaying? 14: What are your favorite subjects/genres to roleplay? 15: What fandoms are you in? 17: How many muses do you currently have? 22: What do you think are your roleplaying strengths and weaknesses? 23: Is roleplaying more of a job or a hobby to you? 27: Name something that’s a favorite of yours? 28: Any advice for other roleplayers? NOSY MEEEEMES :: OPEN

i feel like I ramble so badly so i put all the answers under a readmore to save your dash sanities lol.

1] I am surviiivin', but i'm chill. I have crazy insomnia so I haven't been able to sleep much and I am so behind on asks and drafts and everything else... aaaah maybe I'm stressed lol. but chill stressed lol.

8] hmm, I guess maybe to a stranger i'd describe me as timid or shy or quiet. Odd looking in a way that isn't unique? Mismatched and in need of a haircut as well

13] hmm, I think officially in 09 or maybe 2010?

14] I love angst/comfort I also really love enemies to lovers those are so fulfilling especially when they don't realize they've fallen for one another just yet and then something happens to one of them and it's just "oh ... i'm in love aren't i?

15] I'm in so many fandoms at this point, oh gosh. Supernatural, the Boys, Marvel, hmmm, Walking Dead, Lucifer, , Stardew, Owl House, Destiel lmao, Yellowstone, Jurassic Park, honestly if it snags my interest i just jump in headfirst.

17] oh dang, I'm not sure, I think 12-15 as of now, but some never get out there but I still love them very much!

22] i think a strength of mine is I'm very willing to learn new fandoms and the lore to place my muses into them in a way that fits. I also think I'm fairly accepting of all muses be them canon or originals- I always try to put in the effort to make sure everyone feels seen and heard! I think my biggest weakness is that I love to start so many threads all at once then I get overwhelmed and kinda become a hermit. I forget to focus on just a few at a time and then I get panicky lol. But it's fine, i love having a million different threads with everyone because it's fun and cute!

23] i like to keep rp as a hobby, though it could definitely be a cool job!

27] a favorite thing for me is making meals for others. I went through a lot of food scarcity when I was younger and i think that's something that lowkey traumatized me, so to be able to make a meal for someone i love- or even someone i don't know makes me feel like I'm undoing that particular trauma in myself by providing for others in a way that's easy for me to show love???

28] my advice would be, try really hard to not take yourself too seriously, enjoy the goofy moods and remember that this is supposed to be fun! it's easier said than done but you'll lose the fun when you start comparing yourself to others. It's quality not quantity and sometimes people are gonna be better than you and that is completely ok- it doesn't negate your worth or abilities as a writer or a person. even though it's really scary and some of us are shy or struggle with anxiety- try and message people you enjoy writing with and create meaningful healthy ooc relationships, you're not annoying one another. we're all searching for community and belonging so if you reach out to someone and they turn out to be a huge dillweed, don't sweat it, there's so many other super kind people here to talk and chill with- try not to let the mean ol' hoes ruin your time here, lol.

[lavenderwarrior1]

So here are some steps that can help you with setting and finishing your goals:

• Write your goals/ideas down in a list and put it somewhere you can see it every day. You can have yearly, monthly, or both goals. Just make sure they're SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound).

• Now, let's choose some habits that will help you reach those goals. Want to improve your cooking skills? Start by cooking one new recipe every week and practicing basic techniques. Want to learn a new language? Try spending 10-15 minutes every day practicing with a language learning app. It's really that easy!

• Add those habits to your daily routine, but start small and be realistic. For example, if you want to get in shape, start exercising and eating healthy. Make it enjoyable and achievable. If you're not used to working out, don't try to do it five times a week right away. Start with two times a week and build from there.

• Stop making excuses, my friend. You won't reach your goals if you keep finding reasons to skip out on them. Don't wait for "Monday" or "tomorrow" to start. If you're motivated, start right now and don't skip your workouts. Remember, the less you do, the less you'll want to do.

• Remember your 'Why' to keep the motivation going. Create a vision board, imagine your dream life, and think about why you want to make a change. If you're feeling unhappy or unmotivated, it's worth it to try and make a positive change.

• Enjoy the process, my friend! This is the most important step. If you're dreading your workouts or your daily practice routine, you won't stick with it. So, make it interesting! Try learning new cooking techniques with a friend or find language partners online to practice with.

• Finally, celebrate your successes! If you've been consistent in your efforts, you'll start seeing results in just a few weeks or months. You'll get compliments on your cooking or notice improvements in your language skills, and you'll feel proud of yourself. When you work hard and achieve your goals, your confidence will skyrocket. GET AFTER IT!

[sprouseandall]

𝒀𝒆𝒉 𝑫𝒐𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒚𝒂𝒏 𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕

sʏɴᴏᴘsɪs: Inspired by the song with the same name and the movie Five Feet Apart.

Set in 2019. It is the story of a young Indian girl named Asher who had a dream of becoming a singer since the age of twelve when she wrote her first song along. Her world was turned upside down when she got diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis (CF), a lung disease. Making her live on borrowed air, through oxygen cylinder with pipe throwing air inside her lungs and the day she gave up on her dreams she even gave up on her hope and life.

She was 17, when on a regular weekend she caught the eye of Cole Sprouse as she played guitar alongside her friends in the central park of New York.

It started off as friendship but eventually love found its way into Asher's heart despite her efforts. She tries to distance him away thinking she was saving him from a heartbreak by breaking her own heart. She thought she was being brave soldier as she stood alone in this battle when inside of her, she was scared but the almighty had sent someone for her to hold onto. He wouldn't leave her no matter how hard she try because he's meant to love her. No matter what.

𝐒𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬?

A/N: It's really special story to me as for first time I put myself into the shoes of the female protagonist. As an acting student it is really important to feel and become that person and respect and appreciate them so that's what l'm gonna do. It's gonna be challenging but worth it to write and I can't wait to see how the story goes but I can assure you that it's going to be a emotional roller coaster and this new story is my way of giving the characters their happy ending or as I say "happy beginning".

I recently watched "Five Feet Apart"... again and it is movie that hits me in my core and make me cry more than Stella as the movie reaches its climax. Also I got inspired by a Hindi song "Yeh Dooriyan" which means "These Distances" I'm a Indian for those who don't know so I understand that depth in the song and two nights ago I got this storyline stuck in my head.

I'm really excited and nervous, l'm doing a lot of research on the disease to make the story as accurate as possible but still if there's a mistake then I'm sorry in advance, I'll try to write as detailed as possible but since l'm not a professional writer go easy on me and at the same time feel free to reach out to make suggestions and recommendations. My DMs are also open forever 💗

On a serious note, I wanna show my respect to all those people who deal with serious diseases like CF and all of other sorts. It's not easy and if you're moving forward everyday with it, YOU ARE BRAVE. And I'm SO PROUD of you guys! I'm always there.

I'll be updating my new story every weekend as college as officially started. So the story isn't just mine anymore, it's ours.

Catch early updates on Wattpad

Prologue (posted on July 23rd, 2024)

Chapter 1 (posted on July 23rd, 2024)

Chapter 2 (26/7) (published on Wattpad)

Chapter 3 (29/7)

Chapter 4 (01/8)

Chapter 5 (04/8)

Chapter 6 (08/8)

Chapter 7 (12/8)

Chapter 8 (15/8)

Chapter 9 (TBD)