#gonna be a bridesmaid for both my college friends most likely

[i-love-love]

ANOTHER one of my college friends is getting engaged before the year is out

[icedmatchatae]

Cien Años | KNJ

Pairing: Best Friend Namjoon x Best Friend Reader

Genre: Hanahaki AU, Angst, Fluff (barely)

Summary: A sad story of two best friends who loved each other for different reasons.

Warning: UR GONNA BE SAD, namjoon being in denial, oc being out of the loop, flashbacks :(, a lot of crying from everyone, mentions of death (nobody dies tho!), mentions of surgery, illness, unrequited love, there's somewhat of a happy ending!

Word count: 15.1k because I'm a menace

Note: Italics are flashbacks.

A/N: Inspired by the song "Cien Años" by Natalia Lafourcade & Pepe Aguilar. My friends told me to write a story about it...so I did.

I've also cross-posted this originally on AO3 as well! Enjoy~~~

You closed your eyes and inhaled deeply.

Trembling fingers gripping onto your daisy bouquet as you controlled your shaky breathing. You faced the closed doors, waiting for the queue. One by one, you saw your bridesmaids leave you until you were alone. A light sheen of sweat expanded on your back; luckily, the laced fabric hid your nervousness of today.

What awaited inside would be your most anticipated life-changing event yet. Once you leave there, two souls become one, purposeful promises are committed with expected hardship to overcome. The day you are officially united with the love of your life.

You’ve been waiting for this day, and you couldn’t wait any longer. At the other side of the doors, there stood your soon-to-be husband smiling like a maniac. You wanted this so badly, nervous because the ceremony separated you from your soulmate. But it’ll be okay.

Because he was worth it.

-

He was dressed in a suit with his hands intertwined behind his back.

His mouth opened in awe at the sight of you. You slowly walked down the aisle with your father at your left side. His arm linked firmly around yours. With bittersweet eyes, he looked like he didn’t want to let you go but knew he had to for the best. 

Your dress flowed down with grace, the train behind dragging along the carpeted floor. Your effortless beauty that it shined through your sheer veil. You held onto your favorite flowers, handpicked by him, and will forever keep them in your memories.

Your smile beamed through your family, friends, and esteemed guests, but he could tell how anxious you were deep inside. He knew how much love you had in you, how much soul and care you had to offer. He knew everything about you. After all—

Namjoon has loved you ever since you were younger.

-

When you first met Namjoon, you were about 11. The smartest nerd in school was your partner for a science project. Between the introduction and the first place win, you’ve gotten to know him much better and enjoyed his presence.

It baffled you to discover the lanky boy with thick-rimmed rectangular glasses and who wore velcro shoes listened to Nas and Eminem. Did you mention that he had a bowl cut? Because he did.

He only fascinated you, even more, wanting to befriend you, not realizing he would be one of the most influential people in your life. He quickly became your best friend, and you were inseparable. You graduated high school and college together and even were roommates for many years.

You never saw life without him, your best friend.

Being together more than half of your life, Namjoon didn’t realize the day he met you was the first sign of him falling in love with you.

“Why do you have so much sugar?” Namjoon questioned, observing you next to him when you pulled out a ziplock bag of sugar packets. You pulled one out and ripped it open. You shook the pouch over your mouth, collecting the sweetener on your taste buds. He unapologetically grimaced at you.

“It’s a snack; also, since my mom said I’m too young to drink coffee, I took all of the sugar in our house since I get so much energy.” You simply explained, offering him a packet.

He paused and sighed, joining you in eating packets and packets until you both were a giggling mess.

You were pretty odd, almost lacking social cues, but he couldn’t be one to talk since he was awkward himself. Your aura was not something he was used to, but he never regretted it and grew to love your unusualness. It was one of the characteristics of why he loved you dearly. 

Your bright smile, aggravating yet endearing personality, and how much you gave yourself to others wholeheartedly created a rippling effect on his heart. But almost too much as it lets you get hurt by others. 

He remembered the day you came home with shedding tears falling on your face. He was working on a group essay in your shared living room with Jimin, a friend and peer from his classes, when a loud bang disrupted their concentration.

“He cheated on me!” You sobbed as you dropped your things to the wooden floor. You quickly spotted your best friend and tackled him. You clutched onto his shirt, pushing your head into his chest with your cries staining the fabric.

Without second-guessing, Namjoon wrapped his arms around your fragile form, kissing your hair. He rubbed your back as you continued to sob at your broken heart. He eyed Jimin, apologizing for the interruption, but he understood. The shorter man gestured for him to text him later before departing your home.

After your weeping died down, you explained how you saw your boyfriend of seven months cuddling and making out with another girl at a coffee shop on the other side of the city from where you lived. With the bit of courage you had, you confronted Seokjin and threw your boiling hot tea at him before running away.

Namjoon was angry for you and wanted to beat Seokjin up for doing this to you. But what’s worse, this wasn’t the first time something had happened. You were hurt by many others before because you gave too quickly; you gave the benefit of the doubt to those undeserving of it.

You tried your best to learn from your mistake and took extra precautions, but somehow the next man in your life gets trickier and more conniving than the last.

“Why does this happen to me?”

You sat on your apartment complex’s rooftop, looking at the bright glowing city. It was past midnight; Namjoon thought it was a great idea to get some convenience store snacks and ramen while you get some fresh air.

“Like was I a descendent of Judas?” You rhetorically asked.

“I’m not a theology major, but I don’t think Judas had any children.” He pointed out as he slurped his noodles.

You glared at him and his intelligence, “Don’t correct me now.” You slammed your ramen bowl on the makeshift table made from a stack of wooden pallets. “I thought he was the one.”

“I know you’re hurt, flower. Hurt is only temporary. You’ll heal; it’ll take time, though. It’s really shitty that it happened to you.” His comforting words eased your emotional state, using his nickname for you.

It wasn’t anything cute. He only does it because you told him you used to eat flowers when you were younger. Your parents were scared and brought you to the hospital, it was a whole thing, but he liked to pick on you and made sure you wouldn’t forget your stupidity.

“Is there something wrong with me? Be honest.” You genuinely asked. Your puffy eyes met his, waiting for his response.

He stared at you. Underneath the full moon and the illumination from the cityscape, faint shadows fell onto your features. Your irises sparkled with the dimming sense of hope in you. He hated seeing you like this, seeing the light in you slowly giving up.

He placed down his bowl before reaching for your hands. He intertwined your fingers together, comparing the size difference between you two. He grinned lightly, but enough to display the dimples on his cheeks.

“Seokjin was stupid and never realized what was before him.” He answered, licking his lips and tasting the spice of the meal. Your mouth curled at his words, holding his fingers tightly around yours. “Nothing is wrong with you, just your taste in men.”

“Hey!” You let go of him and slapped his shoulder, pouting your lips. “Stop it!”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” He chuckled, putting his hands in surrender. 

“I’m questioning why you’re my best friend.” You seethed through your teeth.

“Flower, you’re one of the most special people.”

You snorted at his comment, “Nice try.”

“It’s true.” He countered. His smile faded a little, noticing your lack of confidence. “Special people like you will get infinite wishes that your little heart desires. Everything you hope for will come true. You’ll get what you truly deserve, flower. It’ll just take time.”

You gazed back at him. The twinkling lights in your pupils appeared at his reassurance. “Thank you, Joon. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

It was a common exchange between you two, but little did Namjoon know, it held a deeper meaning.

Though Seokjin never saw what was in front of him, Namjoon never noticed what he had until it was too late.

-

Years passed, and you eventually moved on from your heartbreak, having Namjoon by your side. You seemed happier and cheerful while he watched you. But you never were with anyone ever since.

You went on to bigger and better things, like landing a high-paying corporate job after college. Namjoon also was doing well, from being an intern climbed his way to the top in being the art curator at the national museum. You were both proud of each other and your accomplishment, always cheered one another on when times got tough.

However, despite your successes, you agreed it was time to move out of your janky apartment and part ways. It was a harsh transition since you’ve seen each other every day for over ten years, but you made it work. You promised to text and call every day and update anything that happened.

Namjoon could never leave you and you the same back. Again, you and he were inseparable.

You two scheduled dinner at the end of the week. Ever since you got promoted, your schedule restricted you from spending time with him, but you kept your promise to call and text. Namjoon was currently working on his first major project for the museum and was excited to tell you all about it. You couldn’t wait either.

But for now, he had lunch with Jimin at a café since the shorter finally had time in his hectic residency life.

“It was so wild. I saw anything like it before.” Jimin talked about a patient he had and their diagnosis, Hanahaki Disease.

Jimin explained how Hanahaki Disease was this exponentially progressing illness that stemmed from unrequited love. Flowers–the popular indication of the disease–bloom in the person’s lungs and heart and can only be intensified. His patient had stage four of this Hanahaki Disease.

“I’ve read about it in the books, and cases were rare. Seeing it first hand was very tragic.” Jimin sighed, recalling his experience.

“What does stage four mean?” Though Namjoon was skeptical, he was interested in this so-called disease.

“It means the roots from the flowers have grown into his respiratory system. He came in choking on his blood and coughing up sunflowers.”

“Why sunflower?”

“It was his wife’s favorite flowers.” Jimin’s face gloomed lower. “Poor guy caught her cheating, and the painful love was too strong.”

Namjoon hissed at the thought, “I feel for him.”

“Yeah, so at that point, he either dies or gets surgery to remove the roots.” The shorter concluded. “Sorry for the depressing story, but I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“You’re good, man,” Namjoon reassured. “Though you saw it, it’s quite an unusual diagnosis, don’t you think? I mean, doesn’t it sound far-fetched? Like love really made that happen?”

“It does, but you won’t think that way if you saw it in front of you. Love can do a lot to someone.” Jimin reasoned back. “There’s little evidence on it, but it does happen.”

The pairing sat in silence, processing the tragic story. Namjoon wondered how severe love has to be for you to end up like that. He had never really experienced that kind of love before; it wasn’t hard to love, in his opinion, but loving someone had to be chosen wisely and thoughtfully. Love shouldn’t hurt. 

“Anyways, besides me and flower vomiting patients, how are you and the art life?” Jimin changed the subject to a lighter feel. He knew about Namjoon’s project and was impatient to see the final product. “How’s the project? What was it about again?”

“It’s going great. Stressful, but I’m enjoying every bit of it.” He smiled, thinking about his passion. “I guess your story was a great transition to my project. It’s about love. Various meanings and interpretations of love worldwide, so I’ve been obtaining many pieces overseas to display them.”

“Ahh, so you’re gonna get typical ones like The Kiss by Gustav Klimt or that one by Picasso?” Jimin semi-mocked, incorporating very little knowledge about art.

“No, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Namjoon rolled his eyes, munching on his salad. “The museum wanted me to go through a different approach and find more modern and recent artists.”

“So, like up and coming artists?” The shorter asked, and he hummed in response. “I guess, what type of approach are you having with love?”

“Well, love is more than a feeling. It’s hard to put into words. It’s an essence that can be explained through various points of view.”

“Yeah, Mr. Smartass. Stop being so technical!”

“I’m just saying! Love causes emotions. It’s a concept to profess desires and connectedness to someone within an individual, so that’s why that Hanahaki Disease seems exaggerated.” Namjoon argued his thoughts. “I’m not saying love doesn’t exist or anything. It’s here somewhere.”

“This is why you don’t have a girlfriend.” Jimin scoffed, leaning back into his chair. Namjoon ignored his comment like usual before his phone pinged a message.

It was you, and he was delighted to open it. A picture of your lunch, or rather lunches. He saw another plate from the opposite end of the table. It was probably Ryujin, your coworker buddy you spent your time with.

“Is that ___?” Jimin had a devilish smile on him.

“Yeah?? What about it?” Namjoon replied to you with, “Bruh, that looks bomb. Enjoy!” And locked his screen before paying attention to his friend before him. “You know we communicate a lot.”

“Yes, I know the many instances.” Jimin agreed. “But seeing you smile just by a text says more than you say. Actions speak louder than words!”

“Jimin, we’re not going through with this again.” The taller shook his head at his friend’s persistence. “I told you I don’t love her like that. She’s been my best friend for years!”

“Yeah, but I don’t see you giggling, kicking your feet, and twirling your hair thinking about me.” Jimin retorted, folding his arms over his chest. “You probably don’t notice it since you’ve been with her all this time, but you give one another so much, more than friends usually do.”

“Maybe, it’s just you because you end up sleeping with your opposite gendered friends.”

“Hey, that was three times! And I was drunk for two.”

“Point is that ___ and I have been best friends for years . Neither of us did anything like that in the time being and never will.”

“Because you never made a move and acknowledged yo—”

“Jimin.” Namjoon interrupted sternly, wanting to end this conversation. Jimin never understood your friendship with him and constantly suspected that there was something more than what met the eyes. He could sense it, but Namjoon refused to listen.

“Fine, I’ll stop.” Jimin sighed. “At least acknowledge my words.”

Namjoon gulped his iced coffee and thinned his lips, “Maybe.”

He should have listened.

-

After dinner, he took you to the museum. Due to his respected status, he had the privilege of possessing the keys to artistic treasures. It was a way for him to move back and forth with any work beyond the public hours. And because you had the privilege of being his best friend, you could see the Love exhibition he finalized that morning and now waiting for the official opening in two weeks.

The stepping of your heels echoed within the empty museum. Your eyes scanned through the beautiful artwork before you, enchanted by the different styles and meanings, yet they all revolved around one concept: love.

You stole little glances of Namjoon, his attention invested in the paintings as he passed by you. You appreciated his passion for his job, bringing purpose to his life and those around him. He gave you comfort and solace in your chaotic life, and no amount of gratitude can equate to his actions and words.

However, you were nervous around him this time, playing out what to say and do. Sure, he never cared before, but you were a bit self-conscious with this one. You wanted to approach it right. After all, what he said and did matters to you. He was important.

Your eyes landed on a particular piece, never seeing anything like it. The painting contained four bodies. Two of which embraced one another on top of a hill as birds and flowers bloomed around them. Hues resembled joy and, of course, love. As you shifted down the mountain, the third subject laid down, surrounded by colors of gloom and sorrow. Wilting flora consumed the body. The complete opposite of the couple on top. However, the final form was rather strange because you barely saw it. You could see the background behind it, almost like a ghost.

“I see you found my favorite piece in the exhibit.” Your best friend announced with a grin. You were too into the painting to realize he stood by you. He carefully inspected the artwork, absorbing the emotions it gave and the purpose of the artist’s creation. 

“Why is your favorite?” You wondered, your eyes still attentive to the piece.

“To be honest, I’ve met with the artist before during my work trip in Mexico. Great guy, his interpretations were so philosophical that it expanded my knowledge that it only left me wanting more from him.” Namjoon expressed. “This is my favorite piece because, for once, he had something that portrayed a specific visual he wanted to convey, and I’m also sure that many people can relate.”

“And that is?”

“It’s a story.” He began. “A depressing one. Once upon a time, a man and woman fell in love, and they lived happily ever.”

“That doesn’t sound too sad.” You chuckled.

“You didn’t let me finish.” He mentioned, making you shut your mouth. “As the couple danced to their love, they never realized that someone from afar also fell in love with her. That’s him.” He pointed to the covered body. “All the flowers he sent her returned to him, and he slowly died from it. The last body is him, but he’ll forever roam the world with this emptiness inside. But at the very least, he can stay afar, looking at her and seeing her happy.”

“Ouch, that fucking hurts.” You pouted at his description. No one should ever go through that.

“The painting is called Cien Años by Pepe Lafourcade.” He informed. “Pepe said if he lived 100 years, he’d think of her for 100 years.”

“Tragically captivating.” You nodded before shifting your eyes onto your best friend, who was already gazing at you.

Namjoon swore his world stopped by witnessing you and your very radiant form. You looked much healthier now, caring for yourself and enhancing your beauty more than yesterday but less than tomorrow. He observed a new necklace on you, perhaps a treat for your hard work, he assumed. You deserved it. You always did. He saw you like you were the only one in the world, his world.

And no one could compare to you.

He wished to be with you as long as he could.

His stare flustered you a bit; you’ve never seen anything like it. You thought you were seeing things and had some assumptions in your mind. But you merely pushed them because they weren’t necessary anymore.

You broke the eye contact as you focused on your feet. You had to speak to him. “Joon?”

“Yes, flower?” He crouched down, trying to find your eyes, laughing at how timid you were. It was peculiar to act like this with him. He didn’t want to say anything when you first met up. He wanted you to tell him naturally.

You gave up and finally faced him again. Your large doe eyes were his favorite; he never told you but enjoyed seeing them. “I have to tell you something. Something important.”

“Oh, how important?”

“Kinda big? Uh, serious, actually.”

“How so,” He was being playful, but that’s only because he was unaware of how much the words that came out of you will affect him in the long run.

“I’ve been dating this guy for the past six months…uhhh, Jungkook is his name, and I’m falling in love with him.”

Jungkook.

Jeon Jungkook.

-

Namjoon’s attention focused on you as you reached the end of the aisle. Your father gave you a goodbye kiss before he lets go of you. You turned away from him and smiled gently, with giggles in between biting your lips. The unconditional true love flashed in your eyes.

But it wasn’t directed towards him.

Instead, it was for the man in front of him. The groom.

Jeon Jungkook.

The love of your life.

-

“I’m sorry, who?”

Namjoon was utterly stunned at what you just said. You were dating someone for a while, and you didn’t tell him? Your best friend? Now you’re in love with that guy?

“His name is Jungkook, and we—”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He felt offended and angry by your decision. It wasn’t like you. You told him everything. You told him about Seokjin the second you talked to him. The name was vaguely familiar. He had heard it before. Wait—

“Isn’t he your boss?” Namjoon asked incredulously.

“Well, not anymore. I got promoted and transferred to another department, remember?” You tried your best to explain yourself. “I mean, he technically is. He runs part of the corporation.”

“W-why? H-how?”

“We had to keep it a secret. I couldn’t tell you….”

“Couldn’t tell me? Me, your best friend?” He forced a laugh, but there was nothing funny in his tone.

“I’m sorry, I—”

“Flower, how could you be so fucking stupid like that? Don’t you know how dangerous that is?”

Namjoon regretted those words the second they came out of his mouth. Your facial expression said it all, insulted and hurt by your best friend. Your face became sour with your lips trembling. God, you hated how sensitive you were being. But like you said, what he said or did mean so much to you.

So it hurt when he didn’t support you.

He took a step towards you, but you stepped back. “___, I—”

“I thought you’d understand.” Your eyes were glossy, blinking away to fight the hurt from being released. You shook your head, “Like how my best friend usually is. I thought you would be supportive.”

Silence drowned you two. Namjoon had no words, all he could think about was how much he disappointed you. You said nothing and couldn’t bother dealing with him. Like what he told you if you didn’t want to deal with the situation right now, just walk away.

So you did, leaving him alone in the museum as you called Jungkook to pick you up.

-

Namjoon couldn’t comprehend what he was feeling right now. His breath shivered at this indescribable tension in his stomach and chest. His fingers were finicky, needing to do something to keep the thoughts at bay. But all through his mind was you. He remained unfocused, especially since you didn’t reply to his texts or answer his calls. The unknown of what you were doing and how you felt bothered him, distracting his brain away from everything around him.

You were in love with your boss, and he had no idea. He couldn’t recollect any hints or say about you dating someone. Sure, you’ve gotten happier, but he thought it was because of him…that you were spending your time with him…

If he was honest with himself, he wasn’t mad that you didn’t tell him. It was probably the rational thing to do since Jungkook was well-known in the business—Namjoon had to search him up. It was most likely to keep word from spreading, and no one knew. 

In fact, he was more uncomfortable than you were with someone. He has seen what happened to you in the past and didn’t want you to get hurt. He knew nothing about this Jungkook guy and feared the worst from him yet.

It was the night of the official opening of his exhibition, and you still weren’t talking. This was the longest you haven’t spoken to each other. It made Namjoon stay up at night running a busy mind. He started getting worried, thinking he fucked up your whole friendship and his shitty remarks. He was so upset with himself that he wasn’t feeling well.

Namjoon was weary for a couple of weeks, with a scratchy throat and a loss of appetite. It was probably stress from everything that was going on with planning and, of course, his dilemma with you. Hopefully, after tonight, he’ll be a little bit better. Though he begged to differ when he developed slight coughing in the morning.

The murmur of guests crowded the museum’s main lobby, some of the artists that he collected for the exhibit also attended. Unfortunately, Pepe wasn’t here due to conflicting schedules, but he gave his wishes to Namjoon.

People went up to him, admiring and congratulating him and his work. Namjoon could only smile politely and share his thanks. It was a big day for him, and if it was a success, it’d open him to a new world of the arts. Famous artists and museums would know him, and his approach to his work would get recognized by many.

Yet, his mood was down, hoping that a certain someone would see him on a day like this.

“Sup, bro!!” A few invitees glowered at the person for the loud disruption, but he did not care. “Calm down, don’t give me dirty eyes. I’m probably more educated than all of you combined.”

One of the security guards came toward his friend, “Excuse me, si—”

“It’s Dr. Park,” Jimin corrected before grabbing a flute of champagne from the waiter. The guard was about to protest, but Namjoon raised his hand, reassuring them that he was, unfortunately, an important guest. He winked cheekily at him through his slit-like eyes with his pride held high. Security glared at the doctor once more before leaving the premises.

“Jimin, don’t make a scene. It’s bad enough they see us together.” Namjoon exhaled, swirling his drink with a straw.

“How is it bad? We’re besties! I’m so proud of you.” Jimin shrugged but slowly changed his tone to a more serious one as he looked at his friend’s expression. “What’s wrong? You don’t look too good.”

“I’m fine, just been coughing since this morning.” Namjoon cleared his throat, but the shorter knew there was much more.

“Haven’t talked to her since?”

Namjoon sighed and nodded, “I’m worried I fucked our friendship.”

The doctor bit back his tongue. He needed to comfort his friend now, then tell him off later. “She’s upset, but it won’t be enough to stop your friendship. She’ll come around; she just needs time.”

“I know, but—” Namjoon swore he stopped breathing. From across the room, he spotted you. He didn’t think you’d come. His pupils dilated at your appearance. You were absolutely breathtaking like you were prized artwork in the museum, capturing the hearts of anyone who came by.

His heart weirdly skipped a beat.

Your eyes met his, then smiled at his success and waved. You headed in his direction. However, the closer you came, the more he realized you weren’t alone.

Hand in hand, a tall, strong-built man followed by you. His round eyes observed the area while his mouth was agape at the ambiance. His features were strong yet soft, and he looked approachable. He was around your age, reasonably young for someone running part of a whole corporation.

“Joon,” You greeted before letting go of the man to hug your best friend. You shocked him, his body stiffening up, then relaxing at your familiar warmth and comfort. He wrapped his arms around you, firming his grip. “Congratulations!”

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” His eyes watered up, not realizing that he had held back tears since that night. You were finally here with him, and the emotions let loose.

“It’s okay. I’m not mad anymore.” You promised as you pulled away to look at his face. Some tears fell down to which you wiped them off with your gentle thumbs. “I’m sorry I didn’t reply; that was a bitch move.” 

“No, you had every reason.” He begged to differ. “I didn’t even give you a chance to speak.”

“Next time, we’ll communicate better.” You proposed, and he nodded quickly, knowing that your friendship remained strong as ever.

“Yay, you made up. What about me?” Jimin pushed his way into you. You giggled and hugged him too.

“Hello, Dr. Park. Long time no see, looking dangerous as ever.” You said.

“Hello, ____. Long time no see, Looking ravishing as ever. And yes, always dangerous, but no one needs to know.” He smiled boldly, then shifted his attention to the man biting his lips, holding a bouquet. “Who might this be?”

All your attention goes towards the newcomer, bulging his eyes but letting out a bunny-like smile. Carrying some flowers with one hand, he used the other to wave and bow.

“This is Jungkook…my boyfriend.” You revealed to the two men.

Right on cue, Namjoon coughed harshly. He gulped some water and tried clearing his throat again. You raised an eyebrow at him, but he gave you an okay signal.

“Jungkook, this is Namjoon.”

Jungkook handed you the bouquet, then he went up to the taller man and shook his hand with both of his, “Hello, Namjoon. It’s so nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard nothing but great things from this one.” He gestured to you. Namjoon accepted the greeting and nodded silently. He needed to be civil, at least for now.

“And this one is Dr. Park Jimin.” You presented. “Remember, he’s a doctor.”

“And don’t you forget about it,” Jimin added on. Jungkook shook his hand as well. “I heard of your corporation. I saw on the news that you opened two new shelters for mothers and children. You do great work.”

Jungkook blushed and smiled, “Oh, yes. Thank you. It was a hard process, but I hope to do more of them in the future.”

“Oh, these are for you.” You said, passing the bouquet to your best friend.

Namjoon inspected the flowers—daisies, his favorite flowers because they were your favorite.

“This is a celebratory gift for your first solo exhibit and an apology.” You continued gazing at your best friend, trying to communicate telepathically, which Namjoon was fully aware of.

Somehow that hinted Jungkook into saying, “Dr. Park, do you think you can accompany me to the hors d’oeuvres? Let’s leave these two to talk.”

Impressed at his request, Jimin nodded, enjoying the man so far. The shorter glanced at Namjoon to give him some good luck before joining Jungkook’s food adventure.

There, you both were alone but not really knowing how to start this. This was the longest you’ve been apart, let alone fight like that. In fact, you rarely fought. There was nothing that came in between you two until now.

“He seems nice,” Namjoon commented about your new…boyfriend. “His mannerisms are a bit mechanical, though.”

You let out a chuckle, “He’s nervous. He wants to impress you.”

“Big CEO wanting to impress a small-time art curator? That’s new.”

“Well, big CEO knows that the art curator means a lot to me.” You went along with his saying. “He wants you to like him.”

“Why would he care about what I think?” Namjoon muttered, feeling a bit jittery. He held the bouquet tightly to keep his movements in control.

“Because he knows that I care about what you think.” You replied. “He was sad when I told him how you reacted because he was afraid. He doesn’t want you to think badly of him.”

“Not wanting to compare, but it’s hard not to after how many before he treated you.” He frowned as he said his thought out loud. “I don’t want you to get hurt, flower.”

You smiled softly at his care towards you. That’s what you loved about him. “Joon, he’s not going to hurt me. I can tell you that.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I made the first move.” You revealed. “And though he’s stern and serious about his work—bless his soul—he is so shy, Joon. He was a nervous wreck, confessing his crush on me. It felt like I was in high school.”

Namjoon couldn’t imagine it. At first, he didn’t think that shyness would be a characteristic of Jungkook. Then again, he doesn’t know anything about him. He didn’t accept him at all, probably not anytime soon for safety precautions. 

“He’s the first man in a long time for me, and I’ve been careful. He’s been careful. I actually asked him to keep it between just us two because I didn’t want my coworkers knowing about our relationship.” You elaborated. “But he suggested to at least tell our loved ones if we wanted to be serious with each other.”

“You’re serious with him?” Namjoon spoke softly. A sharp, quick pain pushed through his stomach, leaving an unpleasant feeling. Yet he didn’t try showing it; he didn’t want you to worry about him.

You nodded at the thought of Jungkook being steady with you. “Yes, that’s why I was afraid of telling you about him. I wanted you to accept him too.”

He coughed again, shaking his head. “I’m accepting of him, yet if I’m being honest. But I’ll try to.”

“He knows about my past too, and he swore he’s not like that.” He coughed harshly this time. You handed him some water that he accepted. “Joon, are you okay?”

Namjoon chugged the cup down and exhaled slowly. “Yeah, I think I have an upset stomach. I got a bad cough from this morning.”

“Make sure you take care of yourself, okay? I don’t wanna beat you up if you’re not being healthy.” You scolded, and it only made him laugh.

“I’ll be fine, flower. It’s just been stressful, from the event and our time apart.”

Your mood died a little, being guilty about what you did. “I’m sorry again. I promise to never do that again.” You grabbed his hand to squeeze some comfort in him.

His body got hit with another blow, but he bit his lips to dull the pain. “You worry too much, flower. It wasn’t your fault. You were also worried about me, too, no?”

You nodded, “I was. I care for you too much not to.”

“The feeling is mutual.” He reassured. “Then we should just enjoy the night and days to come.”

You couldn’t help but hug him. You missed him so much, crying to Jungkook about him. He knew you cared for your best friend and hoped that you two would reconcile. 

“I love you, Joon.”

“I love you too, flower.”

Again, a standard practice, but Namjoon didn’t realize his love changed from yours. 

-

Namjoon couldn’t hate Jungkook.

The more he was around the guy, the more he realized how chaotically sweet Jungkook was. He was just like you, an odd presence but very lovable. The only thing he hated about him was that he kept winning at everything, yet he was still humble about it.

Jungkook made initiatives to hang out with you and your friends from time to time just so he could understand your life and engage with those you loved. He hung out with him and Jimin, too, without you, and it was a fun guy’s night. He put so much effort into what he wanted, and he did it with ease. It was easier to like him.

Your relationship was growing healthy, and Namjoon was happy for you. You needed something like this, and he could only hope that Jungkook would continue that with you.

On the other hand, Namjoon has been on a stump. First of all, his event was a huge success. His networking multiplied, getting busy with upcoming projects. He’s been traveling internationally, attending conferences and parties, meeting other curators like him, and even making new friends like Jung Hoseok, who was overseas as a curator in Madrid.

So what was his stump?

Well, for a few months now, Namjoon has had this stomach flu. He’s been getting random fevers, uncontrollable shaking, sharp pains in his chest or abdomen, and not eating regularly.

The worst part of it all was his cough. It didn’t improve since that night, it seemed to have gotten worse. He felt the need to scratch his throat, even having the urge put his fingers down his mouth and take care of the itch himself.

He went to the doctors, and they assumed the same. They provided him more potent medication every visit, but it didn’t feel like it was working. Was it because he was growing older? Did he need to start working out and caring for his body like that? It was bothering him, distracting him from his work, and he couldn’t do anything about it. 

If only he knew, his condition worsened with time.

-

“And now for the bride and groom to say their vows.” The ordained minister proceeded.

Before you proclaimed your love, you held your hands with Jungkook’s, focusing on him. You took deep breaths, collecting your memorized speech that you suddenly forgot. Your eyes told that you were stuck, but Jungkook helped you.

“Anything you say, I will love for. Hell, you can call me irritating and I’d say thank you.” Little giggles responded to the groom’s joke. You rolled your eyes, then remembered why you loved him in the first place.

“When I first met you, I was afraid of loving again. I was hurt and disappointed so many times. I don’t even know how many tears I shed throughout that journey. I felt like giving up and never loving again.” You started your vows. “But then you changed that for me. Though I was scared, you helped me back up and had so much patience with me. I don’t know how you do it. Jimin even questioned it.”

Namjoon looked back and saw his shorter friend nod to your speech before putting his eyes back on you.

“You brought nothing but joy in my life. Yes, we went through difficult times, but we made it out, and I know we’ll do that again in our marriage. You’ve accepted not only me into your life but also my family and friends you’ve grown to love.” You sniffled, not wanting to cry, but you just had to. “Thank you for loving me at my best and even my worst. Thank you for not giving up on us. You are the love of my life, and you make me happier than I could ever imagine and more loved than I ever thought was possible.”

Namjoon heard sniffing from Jungkook, who let out tears faster than you. Upholding the role as best man, he kept tissues in his back pocket just in case. He pulled them out and tapped on Jungkook’s shoulder. The groom accepted the gesture and handed one to you and then to him. 

“I vow to honor you, listen, laugh with you, and cry with you. I just hope you do the same back. You make me so proud, proud to be called your wife. I love you, Jeon Jungkook. I can’t wait to spend my life with you.”

-

Namjoon didn’t know when it started in terms of the other symptoms, but he remembered the first time he specifically saw it.

Jimin threw a Christmas party at his house and invited people you didn’t really know besides him, Jungkook, and Namjoon. Everyone else was people from the hospital he trained at, his party friends, the list went on. Nevertheless, it was a casual party with cute little games he had prepared.

You, Jungkook, and Namjoon talked amongst yourself in the corner. You and Jungkook had matching grinch Christmas sweaters. After a year of being together, you and Jungkook were more comfortable in front of people with your relationship. A few kisses and hugs here and there, but you liked to keep your relationship with him private.

Still, the public display of affection was prominent, and it disgusted Namjoon. It may seem like a joke to others, but it really did gross him out. Whenever you cuddled up onto one another or just plain out kissed, Namjoon’s upset stomach or chest murmurs intensified.

Like now, he kissed your cheek, and Namjoon felt a dig in his torso. His face turned sour, exhaled slowly as he palmed the ache.

“Namjoon, are you okay?” Jungkook looked at him with concern. “Are you having chest pains again?”

“Yeah, but it’s gonna go away again.” Namjoon brushed it off. “It comes and goes from time to time.”

“Did you go to the doctor again?” You asked.

“Yes, flower. I went the other day. Since I told him about my chest, they had me do an x-ray. They said they’ll call me, but I don’t think it’ll be any time soon ‘cause of the holidays.”

“The holidays shouldn’t be an excuse to keep my best friend from being healthy.” You pouted, earning laughs from your boyfriend and best friend.

“Honey, don’t worry too much.” Jungkook patted your head. “Namjoon is grown to make his own decisions and choose what to worry about.”

“I’m gonna have to agree with, JK, flower.” Namjoon agreed. “Plus, we’re still young. I’m sure whatever they find, it’ll be easy to fix. There are also not many health issues on both sides of my family, so I’m chilling.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, “Your ease is so annoying sometimes.”

After that conversation, Jimin chimed in and pulled all three of you to a game of “Nogpong.” The four were split into pairs: You and Namjoon and Jimin and Jungkook. Losers had to do what the winners said.

Jungkook and Jimin had experience playing these games, but you and Namjoon’s teamwork was unmatched. The teams went back and forth, missing cups, shooting them while making the opposing chug the eggnog down.

Your team had two cups left while they had five. It was your turn to throw a ball. Jimin threw insults at you to distract your concentration, but you tried to ignore that little man. You threw the ball, earning another point.

“You suck.” Jimin spat back before downing the drink.

It was now Namjoon’s turn. He focused on the final cup, being so close to winning. But his coughing grew harshly at that moment, sounding like it hurt. There was so much phlegm that he grabbed a napkin from a tissue box to cough up. He expectorated all he could into the tissue, ultimately feeling better. But when he saw the content in the cloth, his pupils dilated in shock.

What he thought was mucus was actually blood. He noticed that he could taste the unpleasant taste of iron in his mouth. He gulped down the remnants and stuffed the trash in his pocket without thinking.

“Some cough, Joon. Are you sure you’re okay?” You furrowed your brows at him.

“Flower, I’m okay.” He said again. “Let’s just finish the game.”

You weren’t as convinced, but you had to let it slide for his sake.

Namjoon nodded towards the guys about how he felt before going back to the game. He shot it into the cup with ease, cheering at the close win. All you had to do was score in the same cup.

It was all on you now. If you make this, victory was yours and Namjoon's. Sure, there was nothing to lose, but bragging rights were substantial to you. You held your breath and threw the ball.

You won!

You and Namjoon yelled like deranged individuals, celebrating your alcoholic game victory. Jungkook and Jimin took their loss like champs as they shook hands.

Namjoon held you by the waist and jumped in joy as you threw meaningless insults at your boyfriend and friend. In this position, something in Namjoon sparked. He watched you bad-mouthed them, but you looked so elegant, so beautiful doing it. He saw the fluttering of your lashes, the curve of your nose, and the soft plush that was your lips.

You being in his arms was so soothing. The warmth you produced heated his larger frame. It felt so right. He wished to stay like this forever with you. 

But those thoughts caused a downward spiral in his stomach. His head was light. He immediately turned green, his chest feeling like it had been shot multiple times. His throat was open as everything he consumed started moving up. He pushed away aggressively as he covered his mouth, running to the nearest bathroom.

He disregarded the calls at him as he slammed the door open. He rushed to the toilet and pulled up the lid before vomiting everything in him. He purged so explosively that he thought his eyeballs would pop out of his head, and snot ran down from his nose and onto the top of his lip. He felt the sweat dripping down his face. Damn, this was the worst complication yet.

The three of you followed behind him while you took the lead. You bent towards your friend and rubbed his back as he threw up. You both stayed like that for a few minutes. Jimin had to go back to calm his guests down while Jungkook went to get water for Namjoon.

“Namjoon, do you want us to take you home?” Jungkook asked. “We can bring your car back too?”

Namjoon couldn’t say no. He knew he didn’t feel good, so he nodded.

“Let me grab your things, Joon.” You stood up and lightly patted his back. “I’ll come back quick.” You said before leaving with Jungkook.

He retched up once more, releasing all he had left closed eyes. When he opened the inside, his heart dropped. He thought his vision deceived him. No way could this happen. It was impossible. There was no reason to have it.

What he assumed he puked was the pasta and wine from the party was actually more blood. But that wasn’t the most alarming.

He always thought of them as simple and beautiful to look at, appealing to the eye, but it was hard to think of daisies in that way when his blood coated the fresh petals, and they came out of his body.

Namjoon was now lying in bed, wide awake and petrified. He was dubious, couldn’t find common ground in what he experienced. Maybe he was hallucinating; the very reason was that he wasn’t feeling so well. Maybe the blood-covered daisies were seen to cover up the horrible sight of regurgitated Alfredo pasta. But the sickly fragrant scent of the flowers begged to differ.

Okay, if he were to have it, how did he get it? He needed answers. He wasn’t in love with anyone, right? He never loved anyone like that. The only people he loved were his family. Sure, Jimin was fucking annoying, and he loved the dude, but he was in love with him.

The only person left was you and…no. He didn’t, he couldn’t, he shouldn’t. He can’t . There was no damn way.

He refused to believe.

Yet Namjoon remembered it clear as day.

An urgent early call from his doctor’s office sent him waiting in the examination room. He was restless, with dark bags under his worn-out eyes. He didn’t even bother to change. He was in his Ryan bear pajamas.

He scrolled through his phone, seeing the multiple texts from you and Jimin. You both were worried and wished him to get better while greeting him a wonderful Christmas. You sent a bomb of pictures of you and Jungkook with hearts to cheer him on, and it was enough for his heart to throb. He locked his phone and threw it in his pajama pocket. 

His doctor, Dr. Min, came back into the room with a stoic expression as he read Namjoon’s file. “Good morning, Mr. Kim. I apologize for the short notice, especially on Christmas. But I just had to meet with you.”

“No need to apologize, Dr. Min.” The man said. “I was kinda glad you called. I—” He paused, trying to regulate his breathing. “I wanted to confirm.”

The doctor raised an eyebrow, “Did something happen recently?”

Namjoon bit his lips and nodded, getting antsy at the anticipation he caused. “I vomited, and I-I saw…blood and…,” He couldn’t say it. If he said it, he feared that it would come true.

Dr. Min didn’t let him finish his sentence as he nodded. Pulled out of his file was his recent x-ray. He brought it to the mounted screen and turned the lights on, displaying the condition of Namjoon’s body.

Roots grew through his lungs and around his heart. The silhouette of stems flourished all over his respiratory while the flowers weren’t as developed but expected to bloom soon. Bits of petals scattered around rested on his sternum with the most on his heart.

“I’m sorry, Namjoon. You’ve been diagnosed with stage three of Hanahaki Disease.” Dr. Min declared. “I know this is hard for you to take in, but I would like to tell you that my staff and I will do our best to help you in your next steps. But first, I’d like to ask you a few questions. Is that alright with you?”

Namjoon stayed silent, viewing his x-ray. He could only nod as the pain consumed his form. This was the truth, the reality he was living in.

“Do you know how long you’ve experienced symptoms?”

He shook his head.

“You did say you’ve been coughing for a while. Is that still happening?”

He nodded. 

“When you coughed, was there blood?”

He nodded.

“Did you find petals?”

He shook his head.

“But when you threw up, there were petals?”

He nodded.

“When you vomited, was that the first time?”

He nodded.

“Do you love them?”

That very question snapped him out of his trance. He scowled at his doctor, wondering why he asked a personal question.

“Excuse me, Dr. Min. But isn’t that personal?” Namjoon couldn’t help but spit venom. He just found out he has a severe illness, and now his doctor wanted to know about his love life?

“It may seem personal, but this disease connects to love.” Dr. Min explained. “Namjoon, it’ll only worsen if you don’t admit it. That’s why the flowers are developing rapidly.”

He looked at his doctor, holding his stare. His eyebrows scrunched on his forehead with a large frown upon his mouth. Dr. Min waited patiently for his response, knowing what was gradually happening to him.

Thinking deeply about the question, his consciousness popped with a vague image. The picture subtly grew vivid at each second. Colors were lively, edges were pronounced, and the shapes were visible. By the time it was clear and detailed, a memory flashed in his very mind.

He stood on top of a roof. Inspecting around him, he realized it was his old apartment building years back. He saw the crowded shining city spanning across his vision. Buildings stood high and lit, groups of people walking down the streets, but still, he could only hear the soft white noise of the night. Light instrumental music resonated through the rooftop. It was all nostalgic. He missed the view, but more importantly, he missed the memories made here.

“Joon, dance with me,” A gentle voice begged as a small hand tugged his relatively larger one.

His head turned, presenting him with the prettiest, perfect sight. The glow in your skin shined brighter than the moon and sun combined. Your large glittering irises electrified his entire being. Your laugh rippled goosebumps on him, filling his body with sensation. Your smile captivated his very mind and soul. You intertwined his fingers with yours, your warmth coursing through his veins.

Everything about this was perfect. He never wanted to leave. He wished to stay like this forever. He loved every feeling. He loved every minute. He loved the memory. He loved the vision. But essentially—

He loved you.

Namjoon was in love with you, has been this entire time.

But you didn’t love him back.

You were in love with someone else.

The confession only brought painful tears to him as he let his emotions run loose. He scrunched his nose, sniffing uncontrollably. His mouth quivered hopelessly as little whimpers escaped. His gaze went down to his lap, noticing his trembling hands.

He never thought of the day he finally understood what love was. He was too analytical with his beliefs in the past. But he also gave himself some credit. Love was still an essence that powered emotions. All these interpretations and meanings were interconnected. You couldn’t have this without the other. It was more than a concept, more than a feeling.

Love was larger than life itself. Love was greater than anything in the whole universe. It was impossible to put a limit to love. 

Perhaps, Jimin was right. 

Love can do a lot for someone. 

-

Namjoon refused to tell anyone about his condition. Not only did he have to say to them that he was slowly dying from unrequited love, but he would have to reveal his true feelings for you.

He couldn’t deny them any longer, he loved you with all his heart, and it was killing him. But if it had to be anyone to do it, it had to be you.

He knew he couldn’t tell you. You would blame yourself, crying to him that you wished you would have loved him back. But you did love him.

Just not in the way he loved you. It wasn’t your fault at all. You were the type to make anyone fall in love with you. Namjoon had to just be part of that statistic. 

He knew he couldn’t have you, you were with Jungkook, and you loved that man dearly. He was good to you, the best even, probably more than Namjoon would have done. 

For the following months, he continued occupying his life with work. He had to focus on things other than you since you were on his mind every waking moment. He thought it was best to keep his distance. Maybe the flowers inside him wouldn’t flourish rapidly.

But you were adamant in keeping him close. You confronted him, going to his work. Your irritation dissolved once you saw his sunken face and the dark in his eyes. He convinced you that he wasn’t eating adequately since he was constantly working. Then you begged him to have lunch with you, and he couldn’t say no to you. He was too weak.

Too weak for you.

He gave in and, at the very least, texted and called you, but less than before. Sure, he hung out with you and Jungkook but was less engaged. Lately, when you asked to hang out, he told you he was busy or needed to fly out last minute.

When in reality, he went to the hospital for his condition.

“You’ve been taking the prescription, correct? Three times daily?” Dr. Min inquired. And Namjoon nodded. The doctor examined the man, he looked weaker, but somehow his body was stronger in motor and movement than the regular people who had this illness. 

Hanahaki Disease cases were rare and the first for Dr. Min’s long-time patient to be diagnosed. It wasn’t as successful, but when it did, there were still some downfalls, but the individual would be okay in the end. The doctor felt the need to provide the best for him, not fathoming what he was going through. 

“Good, it helps the flower wilt. It doesn’t stop the process completely, but it gives more time.” Dr. Min clarified. “Your bodily functions are still running normally, so that’s good. But I can’t say you’re getting any better….”

His health was deteriorating, the symptoms increased, and not a day went by without him coughing or throwing up petals. 

“I know, doc.” Namjoon sighed. A nurse came in to check his blood pressure. 

“Since you’re at a high stage in this, it’s hard for a cure unless….”

“No.” The man interrupted, knowing what he was going to say. “She’s been dating a friend for a while now. Great guy and loves her dearly..”

Dr. Min noted and nodded carefully at his response. “There’s also surgery. Many people who were diagnosed refuse to take it; that’s also why the fatality of Hanahaki is high. However, a small percentage who do, don’t feel love for the other person. But there are consequences.”

“Like what?”

“It is likely you will never feel love again. The memories of your love for that person won’t exist anymore.”

“Isn’t that worse?” Namjoon knitted his brows. He feared a life without loving, without loving you. He’d probably feel empty inside, lingering around like a ghost. “How can someone live on without love?”

“I…I don’t know.” And for once, Dr. Min didn’t have the right answer. Namjoon accepted what he said; it wasn’t his doctor’s fault. He was only suggesting possibilities. “It’s just another option because, at this rate, the illness is going into the four-stage.”

“And what happens at that stage?”

“If something were to happen that speeds it up, the flowers would bloom all over your lungs, and you will die before the end of the year.”

-

To live without love or to die with love.

A question that has been running through the mind of Kim Namjoon. He didn’t have much time left, but he couldn’t get himself to make a decision.

Obviously, he didn’t want to die. There was still much more for him to do. He wouldn’t be able to do what he wanted. But…a life without love? How would that be plausible? No human would walk on Earth with no love in their body because everyone has to love something or someone deep down.

But the thing that heated his mind was never loving you. He has fallen in love with you since you both were 11. Every drop of love in his body was for you. You were the one who would give meaning to his memories. How would he survive moving on after you?

Namjoon was deep in thought when fingers snapped in front of his face. He blinked back into his surroundings. He was in his office, trying to email Hoseok about some future collaborations.

The culprit, Jimin, rested on one side of his body with his hands on his hips. He had a concerned yet annoyed face on him as he inspected Namjoon. “You’re wasting our precious lunchtime together zoning out.”

Namjoon rolled his eyes, quickly finishing up the email and sending it to his fellow art curator. As they walked up the street to the cafe, Jimin couldn’t help but take multiple takes at his friend.

“Stop staring. I’m not a fucking picture.” Namjoon caught his friend’s gaze.

“Dude, you don’t look so good.”

“Wow, thanks. That definitely helps with my self-esteem.”

“Stop joking. I’m serious.” Jimin refuted. “You look sicker. You barely eat, and you keep having colds.”

“I told you, Jimin. I’ve been going to the doctor, and it’s just stress—”

“ I’m literally a doctor. I can tell that this is more than stress. If you have something and you’re not tell—” An incoming call from Namjoon stopped Jimin’s rant. The shorter’s mouth thinned as he faced forward, waiting for the crosswalk to turn green.

Namjoon pulled his phone out, assuming it was Hoseok. But it was actually Jungkook. He rarely called and usually preferred texting to his introverted self. Nevertheless, he answered and greeted the man.

“Hey, thanks for answering. I really needed your opinion or like help with something.” Jungkook spoke out.

“No problem, man.” Namjoon grinned. “You know I’m always here to help. What’s up?”

“Well, I don’t really know how to say this….”

“You literally sound like ___ right now. It’s baffling.”

“Ugh, I—okay, fine. Obviously, you know ___ and I are together and in love, right?” A pain in his chest hit hard as Namjoon cleared his itchy throat. The crosswalk turned green, and the two began walking across. He hummed in response for Jungkook to continue. “Well, I’m gonna propose to her, and I want you to help me with her ring. You know her taste better than I do and—”

Namjoon stopped. He couldn’t hear anything after that. Jungkook started to sound like the adults from the Peanuts series. The words “I’m going to propose to her” echoed in his brain, repeated like a broken record. Was he hearing it correctly?

“I’m sorry, what? You’re what?” Namjoon forced himself to ask, praying that what he said wasn’t true.

“I’m proposing to ____? I want you to help me with t—”

His vision went fuzzy, his head feeling heavier than normal. His mouth became dehydrated while breathing went rapid. Namjoon couldn’t control his body shaking; everything went numb. His eardrums inflated, unable to hear the horns honking but only a long ringing sound amplified within seconds.

Jimin reached the end of the crosswalk but looked back to see why wasn’t his large friend was by his side. Jimin let out a sob. He saw his friend fall forward, dropping his phone. He ran up as he watched Namjoon vomit blood in the middle of the street.

He got down on his knees in distress, rubbing his friend’s back as he pulled out his phone to call an ambulance. Some people crowded the scene, even going as far as getting out of their cars to help them.

While Jimin instructed the hospital on their location, Namjoon gagged harshly, feeling stuck with something burning through his throat, almost like it was too large to even consume, let alone retched up.

“Yes, please. We’re here at W 6th and Namu Avenue.” Namjoon pushed as hard as possible, and the content finally came out. “Perfect, thank you,” Jimin said before ending the call. “They’ll come in five mi—Joon.…”

With barely enough strength, Namjoon open eyes and turned to see his friend’s aghast expression. Jimin felt himself grieving over him, the tears burst out of control and ran down his reddened cheeks. So Namjoon looked away, unable to see his friend’s crying. Then he suddenly realized why—

There lay blood-stained daisies in the pool of crimson, enough to make a bouquet. Loose petals plastered around, mocking creating a large heart surrounding the arrangement.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jimin whimpered, resting his forehead on the taller’s back. He felt the tears staining his shirt, but that was the least of his problems.

-

“I’ll give you two some time alone,” Dr. Min told them. He looked at his sickly patient, then towards Jimin. “Maybe talk him into it.”

“Thanks, Hyung.” Jimin nodded. Dr. Min excused himself and closed the door while Jimin kept his eyes on his friend. 

After the incident, Namjoon lost consciousness. Jimin was there every step of the way and almost recklessly used his authority to get his friend help. Fortunately, Dr. Min was his supervisor and a good friend that came quickly when he found out what happened to his patient.

Namjoon woke up to them discussing his choices regarding this illness, but he stayed quiet and drank water. He knew Jimin was upset at him for not telling about his condition but was more afraid of him telling you , someone innocent in all of this.

“I know you’re still not feeling well, but I need to know, as your colleague, your friend, your brother, fuck as me! Someone who cares so much about you!” Jimin huffed, feeling frustrated at the situation. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

Namjoon chuckled, but nothing was light about it. “You really think I’d tell her? She’d blame herself, and it’s not her fault.”

“At least, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m sure you’d say the same thing as Dr. Min….” Namjoon glowered, inspecting the needles and tubes attached to his wrist. “This is something that’s my problem. Because in all honesty, Jimin, what would you have done? You can’t tell me I shouldn’t love her. You can’t tell her to love me. There really wasn’t anything you could do.”

“But…but…I would have been there for you.” Jimin sniffed, his eyes glistening at the sight of his friend. “I would stay by your side even if you were getting worse. No one should go through this alone.” He walked up and gently clasped his hand, noticing how weak he’s gotten.

“How long since you’ve known?” Jimin licked his lips, trying to see any more pain in him.

“I don’t know, but the first time I saw flowers was during your Christmas party.”

“So you’ve been keeping this a secret for almost a whole year?” The shorter released his hold to pace around the room, having many emotions riling his body. “Joon, you’re dying, you know that? There’s no cure unless you do the surgery? Why haven’t you said yes?”

“Because there are consequences to it that I don’t know if I’d accept.” Namjoon had to stay calm. It was better this way, thinking it’d make his friends hurt a little less. “Why live a life without love?” Jimin kept silent, gathering his reasons for the hypothetical question. “The doctor said if I do the surgery, I can’t love again. Go on my life not loving? I’d live an empty life. I wouldn’t get married, have children, see them grow….”

“Technically, you still can.”

“Jimin, life would still be empty, and it would hurt everyone around me, including my parents, you, Jungkook, ___.” He cried at your name. “I can’t live without loving her. It’s hard. I loved her since I was 11, Jimin, and as it pains me to see her with someone else, I have to let her go.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that you’re dying!”

“And if I don’t love, I would be dead inside.” Namjoon smiled bitterly. “I lose either way.”

Jimin sighed, brushing his fingers through his hair. He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying his best to talk to him. “While you were unconscious, I talked with Dr. Min. He explained to me how there was a recent study on post-surgery for Hanahaki. There were about ten subjects. The researcher found that despite the common knowledge of not loving, there’s a 50% chance that you may feel it again.”

Namjoon’s eyes glimmered towards his friend, “What? How’d you get this?”

“Yoongi Hyung didn’t know much about the illness, so he had to go through studies and experiments to learn more about it. He stumbled upon this one issued almost two years ago by one of the nation’s prestigious schools.” Jimin articulated what he absorbed from his superior. “There’s still hope for you.”

“Jimin, I don’t know…I don’t feel like gambling my life like that.” Namjoon was uncertain. He was stuck in the middle because either he loved again or didn’t. With the adversity he has been under, the universe wasn’t on his side on this.

“You’re not gambling your life; you’re finding reasons to live, to love.” Jimin reasoned. “You can do all the things you wish to do. You shouldn’t give up, Joon.”

“I-I need time to think this through….” He concluded. There was the temptation to all of it, but he needed to think carefully about his decision. Right now, he’s emotional, Jimin’s emotional; this whole thing is an emotional mess.

“Though Dr. Min can’t say this, I can. You don’t have much time left. That scene triggered you going into the final stage. I don’t want you to die.” Jimin spoke his thoughts. “But whatever decision you make, I’ll be right by your side.”

“Thank you, Chim.” Namjoon nodded. “D-did you tell her? About my condition?”

The shorter breathed out before shaking his head, “No, I thought you would be the one to tell her. But she does know you’re in the hospital. She and Jungkook are in the waiting room. I said you fainted and threw up on the street.”

“You can’t tell her about it, please.” Namjoon pleaded. “I don’t want her to take the blame. None of this is her fault.”

Not arguing with him, Jimin questioned, “So what do we say? You’re dying, and you can’t say you have a fever.”

“Just say I have a tumor.”

“I don’t know if that’s worse or not….”

“I technically do, except instead of a tumor, it’s fucking daisies growing in my lungs!” Namjoon retorted. “Look, whatever it is, she can’t know that I have Hanahaki because she’ll find out I’m in love. She can’t know this, please.”

Jimin bit inside his mouth, “Fine, I won’t tell her, but make your decisions on the surgery soon.”

-

“Oh, Joon!” You cried, rushing towards him. You threw your hands over his body and sobbed. Jungkook trailed behind with a stuffed koala with a ‘Get Well’ balloon, then Jimin was the last to come back in before closing the door. 

Namjoon didn’t like how sad you looked as he hugged you back. He caressed your hair before parting away to get a glimpse of you. You were whimpering, snot running down your nose, crocodile tears shedding, and the spark of pain yet relief in your eyes.

“Jimin told us what happened. We left work and sped here, we waited for hours, and… why didn’t you tell me you had a tumor?” You had so many questions, but this was taking priority.

Namjoon glanced at Jimin, who had his arms crossed over his chest. He nodded slightly, keeping the promise.

“Uhh, I didn’t want you to worry.” He answered softly.

“Now you’re in the hospital, on the brink of death!” You were hurt; he kept it from you, but more so, scared for his life. You didn’t want to lose your best friend.

“I’m sorry, it’s complicated…Doctor said I could go through surgery, but….”

“But? But what? Why don’t you?” You reached for his hands. It was a thing you used to do as children, and you did find a way to comfort each other.

But though it was comforting, it was also intensely painful for Namjoon.

His heart throbbed, but he contained the ache. He pushed your hands off of him and rested them on his lap.

“It’s just…it’s complicated.” He responded the best that he could without lying. He’s already lying so much more than he did in your entire friendship.

You stared at him, trying to comprehend what he said. You needed to understand, and you had a hunch that he wasn’t adequately telling you.

“Do you think you two can leave, so we can talk privately?” You rotated back at Jimin and Jungkook. The sense of desperation was oozing through your contact.

Jungkook nodded without missing a beat, understanding the privacy needed. He placed the koala on the table and mumbled reassurances to the taller. Jimin said nothing but followed your boyfriend out and closed the door behind him.

Now you two were alone.

It’s been a while since it was just you and him. You missed it. Though you tried your best, your days grew hectic, and schedules were tight, being unable to hang out with your best friend.

You observed his state, he lost the honey color in his skin, and the darkened puffs around his eyes were accentuated by his bloodshot eyes. His hair was matted and greased, not having its usual volume. His body looked thinner, seeing his bones popping out every now and then.

“I never would have thought you’d end up like this.” You spoke truthfully. “It pains me to see you like this, Joon.”

“I know, flower.” He agreed, not wanting to look you in the eye. It really could be damaging to him.

“Are you doubting the surgery? Is it the cost? The quality, because I can help you—”

“No, it’s not like that, flower. I promise.” Even at his weakest point, he strived to make you not worried for him. “It’s…there are consequences to the surgery that I don’t know if I could live with.”

“What do you mean?”

He tried getting himself together to come up with a reasonable explanation without saying too much, “The doctor said I’d lose feeling to some parts of my body.”

“And so…”

“So, I wouldn’t live my life the way I want to.” He sighed, thinking about his tender memories with you. His eyes started to swell at the possibility of it disappearing. “I would feel dead inside. I don’t know if I can survive like that.”

“Did he say anything else? Is there something that can counter that? I—was this only option?”

“He talked about some study on it and said there’s a 50% chance I could feel again. It’s just risky, you know? I’m shooting through hoops for it, and I’m….” His voice trembled in tone. “I’m tired. I’m tired of all of it. I wanna give up.”

“No, I refuse for you to give up.” You disapproved.

“No, it’s okay—”

“It’s not okay, Namjoon.” You seethed with rage, standing up from the bed.

“Look, flow—”

“No, I won’t let you. You used to tell me to never give up, stay hopeful, and that I’ll get better with time.” Your eyes welled with tears at the very thought of Namjoon giving up on himself. “Now that you’re giving up, you’re telling me to be okay with that?”

“Why not?” He bawled back.

There it was, what he’s been hiding from you—the loose, broken pieces shattered instead of being taped together like everything was fine.

When he first found out, he lost all hope in what he had to offer the world. He didn’t want to act upon being a human and grieve on his experience. It wasn’t like him. He wanted you to see him be okay and happy and work his way through life and obstacles with ease like he always wanted for you.

This was the first time you saw lost. 

“I’m already dying. What’s the point, ___?” He broke down. “I can’t be strong anymore. It made matters worse. Look, I failed myself. I failed you as your best friend. I’m really a failure. I’ve been blinded by hope and being content, not noticing that I’m getting worse.”

You took in his words, trying to understand him. You saw him fall into a pit of insecurity and despair. It was scary for you, this being one of the few times you saw him like this. It was usually the other way around, and for that, you needed to be there for him. Comfort him like he did with you, care for him like he did with you, continuing on his side with love and support.

“Remember when Seokjin cheated on me, I asked you why things like that happened?” You pointed out, taking a step to sit back down.

“Yeah, you were a mess. You couldn’t stop crying.”

“Yeah, but I slept good that night.” You chuckled, earning a slight smile from him. “You said hurt is temporary, and you’ll heal from it.”

“Wow, I said that. I must have been a liar.” He joked, causing you to snort at his self-deprecation. He shifted his head out to the window, the sun setting for the day, bringing a soft, warm hue into his bleak room. 

“No, you were telling the truth, and things got better.” You said. “But then I asked you if something was wrong with me because bad things kept happening.”

“What about it? There’s nothing wrong with you.”

“You called me one of the most special people out there.” You grinned, reaching over to his hands and intertwining them into yours. “If I’m one of the most special, Namjoon, you’re irreplaceable.”

He finally faced you. Your face was touched by the golden hour, the dried tears reflected. All the hope he once had was migrated onto you. The building of hope he helped you through the years was finally reflected. It was your turn to give back.

You sniff-kissed his palms, and it didn’t hurt him for once. It melted his troubles away for a split second and made his heart skip a beat in the way it was supposed to be.

“No one in this world can match you. You are like no other. You brought better days than I could never imagine, always thinking of others before yourself.” Your promising irises said it all, the truth of himself within. “The universe gives the hardest challenges to the most powerful, resilient ones because it knows how much you can endure. It’s testing you.”

Your grip was firm, more robust than his, as he applied pressure to your hands. “Once it’s over, you will be rewarded vastly. It’ll give you the best things, you name it. You won’t regret anything your heart faces and desires. Good will happen to someone like you. Please don’t give up.” You wheezed out, sobbing into your linked hands. “You’ll be alright, I promise. We’ll be here for you. I’ll be here for you.”

Namjoon joined closer to you, his forehead resting on the top of your head. You felt his tears dripping on your scalp, but that didn’t matter. You then embraced one another, refusing to let go. The dimming sun cascaded your shadows onto the white walls of the hospital room.

Serene was anything but you two. Instead, a fire ignited within, blazing a rush, lighting up the untapped potential inside both of you. The flames grew when together, too powerful for the world to see. So it was decided they had to stay apart, as they’re not always meant to last. Still, without their mirrored flame, if one died, so did the other. 

Separation should never be permanent with you and Namjoon. 

The day was young. The window was opened to lure fresh wind into his nostrils. He’s been in this room for days, but he won’t be in here any longer. He eyed the skinny cylindrical vase, and a single daisy emerged into the half-filled water. The decor was a small gesture from Jungkook, who got the idea from Jimin. 

Though alone, that one daisy carried purpose to its life, creating beauty and awing anyone that surrounded it. It was the last one he probably would see for a while.

A knock interrupted his gaze from the vase. Following the sound, he found his doctor in the doorway with a bright smile.

“Ready?” Dr. Min asked.

Namjoon closed his eyes and breathed a final deep, flower-filled breath.

“Ready.”

-

The ceremony was absolutely breathtaking, with nothing but large smiles on everyone. Laughter filled the air, food filled their stomachs, and you and Jungkook’s love filled the entire reception. Everyone felt your eternal love, resonating with that very feeling in their own lives.

All but Namjoon.

After the successful surgery, he recovered quickly, bringing joy to your lives. But he lost his loving memories with you. He still remembered who you were, how you grew up, and the memories you made with him. He even knew why he had the surgery in the first place. But he doesn’t remember or feel ever being in love with you.

He was your best friend who you platonically loved.

Namjoon didn’t know what love was all together. It was something he couldn’t fully grasp. If someone were to ask, he gave an indefinite answer or a simple ‘I don’t know.’

He did feel like a big hole was in his chest, finding it difficult to get anything to fill it up. Days were long and tiresome. Things happen, things don’t. It was all mundane for him. He felt numb to the world at times. He doesn’t know if he regretted his decision.

But if there’s one thing he knew was that he cared. He cared a lot about his friends, work, and family, never wanting them to feel down or hurt. If they needed him, he’ll come in faster than you could say his name. He enjoyed being there for them. It made him happy.

But not enough to love, whatever that was.

You were his best friend he cared for.

He cared so much that he helped Jungkook plan his proposal with you and the wedding. Jungkook even begged him to be his best man, to which the taller agreed with flying colors.

In your opinion, the ask to be his best man was unexpectedly more notable than your own proposal.

Namjoon watched you and Jungkook dancing on the floor, nothing but smiles and stolen touches between the two. Even when crying, you were still happy with your husband. He was glad you finally found someone worthy enough for you, also glad you weren’t wasting your time with stupid boys who only cared about their dicks in something.

He wondered what it was having that, but he felt nothing. The crater in him only expanded. Was it even possible for him? It didn’t seem as interesting, so he pushed it aside.

“Hey, you okay?”

His head turned to see Jimin sitting beside him at their designated table. The doctor offered him a glass of wine, which he gladly accepted.

“Yeah, just watching.” He shrugged.

“You holding up alright?”

Namjoon’s lips twitched in dissatisfaction, “I think I’ve been before. I don’t know.”

Jimin peeked at the newlyweds and asked, “Do you’d ever tell her?”

“It happened; it’s already in the past. Just gotta move on.” He sighed. “Again, I know she wouldn’t forgive herself if I told her all about it.”

“I understand.” The shorter nodded, swirling his glass in his hand.

“But I will tell her what’s happening now. I think she needs to know that at least.” He took one more sip before putting it down on the table. He got up and headed in your direction.

Jimin smiled, seeing the last moments of you and your best friend together.

Namjoon tapped on your husband’s shoulder, catching their attention. He cleared his throat and pushed forth his hand in front of you. “May I have a dance with my best friend?”

Jungkook beamed at him and nodded willingly. He palmed the small of your back and assisted you to your friend. “Just don’t fall in love with you.”

You all laughed as Namjoon snorted, “Gross, never.”

Jungkook walked away, leaving you to sway to the soft beats of the music. You wrapped your arms around his nape while he palmed your sides firmly. He wasn’t the best dancer, but this was manageable. You both swayed seamlessly together, almost like your bodies were conditioned to.

You looked up at him. He was much healthier, cheeks protruded like when you were children, and his body grew thicker as he ate well and exercised more. But what pressed you was his eyes. Though being better, they struggled to keep luminosity. Some days were high; others were low. You assumed he had gotten moodier after the surgery, but still the authentic Kim Namjoon.

“Ummm, though I want you to enjoy your wedding, there’s something I needed to tell you. It’s important.” He announced as he took the lead in the dance. He unexpectedly twirled you around, making you squeal and grab the collar of his suit.

“You’re not dying again, right?” Though the tone seemed sarcastic, you hardened your face.

“No, I’m not.” He scoffed, playfully rolling his eyes.

 “Good, you’re not allowed to leave me.” You pouted cutely. 

“Well, I can’t say that I’m not gonna leave.”

“Huh, what do you mean?”

“I got a job offer to work in Madrid. Remember Hoseok? He referenced me to one of their museums, and they liked my work.”

“Oh, Joon! I’m so happy for you.” You congratulated him, then squeezed him tightly in your hug. “You’ll do great. When do you leave?”

“In a few months, I told Hoseok I needed some time to transition and finish up some work. I think it’ll be good, you know? A new change after my…tumor. Maybe I’ll feel better…I’ve been feeling stuck. I know I didn’t tell you right away, but you had the wedding and planning….”

“I don’t care. It’s fine. It’s understandable.” You smiled endearingly at your friend. “You know I’ll always love you, right?”

Namjoon crooned, “I love you too.”

Of course, he didn’t think he meant it, not grasping the words. It held no effect on him. But he knew that you enjoyed saying it to him, so to avoid any suspicions, he says it. 

“You’re gonna be so far.” You frowned.

“Hey, I’m gonna call. We’ll do video calls now, and you’ll be able to explore Madrid vicariously towards me.” He promised, holding your form.

“You better…”

“Okay, enough about me. How do you feel?” He changed the subject to the meaning of tonight. “You’re a married woman.”

“It’s weird. My last name is now Jeon.” You stated. “I’m not used to it.”

“Could have been worse. Could have been Kim.” He quipped, making you throw your head back.

You scrunched your nose. Your grin morphed lower as a thought came up. “You remember Seokjin, right?”

“My God, why are you bringing up your ex on your wedding day?” He retorted. You gave a stern look, but it didn’t cause him fear. “But yes, what about him?”

“It wasn’t much about him. It was something he said after we broke up.” You squinted up as if it helped you remember.

“And?”

“Well, I ran into him in the cafeteria. It was like during finals. You weren’t there. You had your art analysis exam.” You recollected from the back of your mind. “He apologized, but it didn’t matter. But he told me he cheated because he knew he couldn’t win.”

“I know I’m not that experienced, but I don’t think a relationship is about winning,” Namjoon commented, still having the urge to punch that guy.

“No, no. He wasn’t like that. But I didn’t know what he was talking about at that time.” You breathed deeply and sighed. “He told me it was because of you.”

“Me? What about me?”

“He saw our friendship and deemed it as a threat.” You uncovered. “You and I were so closer, he felt like he was in the way and that he lost before it even started. ”

“But it wasn’t like that, right?” He probed, not thinking anything more. However, with your long pause and the discomfort on your face, it made him raise a brow at you. “___, speak please.”

“He got me thinking—what if it was you?” You shared. “That the love was much more than what we showed.”

The hypothetical question consumed his mind. It’s been a while since he was deep in thoughts like this. They were always meaningless and showed no impact. Similar to this one, inside him went blank.

“Can’t fathom it….” He could only say.

“I thought he was nuts, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought about wanting it to happen.”

That’s when Namjoon blinked dumbfounded at you. What did you mean by that?

“What did you say? W-why say it now?”

“Because it was in the past, and it stopped after meeting Jungkook.” You answered, reminiscing about those thoughts and feelings. “Now we’re good, happier now, and just look back at it and laugh.”

“You said it was in the past now. What did you think?” Namjoon wanted to understand, curious about what you were hiding from him.

“That…that I liked you. Maybe even falling in love with you??”

Namjoon only wished to have felt what you said, but it was all numb. “O-oh.”

“I’m sorry. Did I make you uncomfortable?”

“No, no. You’re not, flower. I’m…I’m just a bit surprised.” He denied it, inhaling slowly and releasing his breath.

“I was too. Now thinking back, it would have been very cliche.” You giggled. “We’re breaking stereotypes.”

“We’re unmatched.” He smiled, his dimples being emphasized. “What made you stop having those thoughts?”

You tilted your head and gazed to the side of you to find your reflections. “Mmm, I think our souls were destined to meet like we had a gravitational pull that couldn’t tear us apart. I thought about twin flames.”

“Interesting concept. Tell me more.”

“Kinda like two peas in a pod. We’re one soul split in between two bodies. We see things in us that others can’t.”

“Flower, you can’t say we’re twin flames when you just married your soulmate.”

“It’s different! Twin flames just understand each other to no avail, while soulmates are naturally compatible.”

“Then how did this make you stop? Because in my opinion, it only would lead to more.” He went being a devil’s advocate for no reason. Maybe a stab at you for his past self?

“Two fires together will only create a bigger fire.” You simply explained. “We were meant to be, but we aren’t meant to be.”

The two of you continued to dance, being the few left on the floor. Your loved ones looked at you, intrigued by the strength of your bond.

And it indeed was.

You were made to test and develop your very understanding of yourselves, energy, and one another. You provided active spiritual growth as each other’s catalysts, awakening your mirrored souls. You pushed each other to release your wounds, remove any blockage that came your way, and help to lead you to true love, whether it was self-love or finding the love of your life.

Right before his surgery, Namjoon wondered what would have happened if you had reciprocated his love for you. Would it have been a happily ever after? Or ruin your friendship through the combustion too much for you both to handle?

What if you saw in him what he saw in you? What if you spoke to him like he spoke to you? What if you thought of him like he thought of you? What if life hurt you like it did with him? Would you ever love him the way he loved you?

He will never know.

But above all, he was glad to be with you, even if it meant being only your best friend. You continued your life and yourself, attached to his existence.

And if he lived a hundred years, for a hundred years, he’ll think of you.

All rights reserved for ©️ icedmatchatae 2022 (｡●́‿●̀｡)

[that-one-fangirl69]

Badassary my mom has gotten into in the past

Ok so there was this one time in college.

And, for the record, my mom didn't take shit from ANYBODY.

So she had this really annoying roommate named Alex. Alex was a very, VERY short little Puerto Rican girl with a HUGE attitude. To compare height, my mom was 5'4" and Alex was like barely past her shoulder.

They really didn't like one another so they kinda just ignored each other for the most part.

But this one day, my mom was putting her hair up for her college soccer team practice. (my mom was and still is as athletic as they come) And Alex comes in with her friend and is acting all cocky for no reason.

And, just to act tough, comes over to my mom and just smacks my mom on the forehead. (not hard but still)

And my mom looks at her and goes, "Alex. Don't touch me." Very much threatening her. And Alex, being the bitch that she was, gets right up into her face and smacks her on the head again. And as soon as she did my mom FULL ON RIGHT HOOKS HER IN THE FACE.

Alex stumbled back onto the ground and like shook herself off a bit. AND GETS UP AND CHARGES MY MOTHER TO FIGHT.

You wanna know what my mom did?

She stiff-armed her.

And Alex is swinging and cussing my mom out but she just held her there.

Then an administrator came by and broke them up.

The best part is,

After that they both requested a room change and it was denied. They still didn't like each other but got along slightly better.

Years later, after college I think, Alex reaches out to my mom.

AND ASKS HER TO BE ONE OF HER BRIDESMAIDS

LIKE BITCH WHAT??

My mom told her, "Alex, no. We were NEVER that close."

——————————

So in.. I wanna say high school, my mom was walking between classes right?

And like i said before, my mom is a 5'4", back then probably around 120 pound girl.

And this dude in her school HAD THE AUDACITY DO GROPE HER ASS IN THE HALLWAY. But my mom was a total badass. (if you cant tell)

So my mom WHIPPED HER HEAD AROUND, PINNED HIM TO A WALL, STUCK HER KNEE IN BETWEEN HIS LEGS AND PRACTICALLY GROWLED AT HIM,

"Touch me again and your nuts will be in your nose."

LIKE- SLAY MOM

--------------------

So this is in like.. 5th grade I wanna say..

Idk it was somewhere in elementary or middle school

Anyway, so it was recess and my mom got into an argument with this one like, big girl. Like tall and a bit heavy. And again, my mom is short af and skinny as hell.

Then the argument gets more heated and this girl grabbed a chunk of my mom’s hair at the nape of her neck and yells, "YOU SEE THIS? IM GONNA RIP IT OUT"

AND MY MOM DEADASS GRABS THE HAIR, RIPS IT OUT HERSELF, HOLDS IT OUT TO HER AND JUST SAID,

"Here."

The girl looked at my mom like she was crazy (lowkey she is) and walked away.

My mom said it hurt like a bitch, it ended up scabbing over and everything but "it was worth it."

Keep slaying like my mom💅

[topsytervy]

Hello ~ Rafe Cameron

This is Part 2 to Goodbye cause I had the thought in my head and I didn't want to write it only for it to sit in my docs so you can read Goodbye (aka Part 1) here.

Blurb: A lot can change in five years.

Word Count: 3,677

Warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking, smoking, cocaine, spelling/grammar mistakes, i think that's it.

Small note: I’m 19 and have never planned a wedding. I’ve been to my fair share of weddings as guests and my only experience with a wedding would have been when my sister got married, however, her in-laws are kind of assholes so her wedding was really lowkey and shit, like it took place in my sister backyard lowkey, cause her mother-in-law was like 'Im not paying for anything cause you guys wont last but I'll pay for your sisters weddings' so like I’m winging half of this shit if not most of it. I’m sorry.

~~~~~

It was 5 years later.

You were 21, along with the rest of the pogues, and able to legally drink and purchase alcohol. So no more hassle with a fake ID.

Nothing had changed except for college and jobs. You and JJ had broken up after two years of dating and, much to everyone's surprise, it was like nothing had ever happened between you two.

It was insanely easy to slip back into the friend zone with JJ, despite both of you thinking that it would be awkward. Both of you fell back into old habits fairly quickly. Sure there were the first couple of weeks where you two felt as if you had to force normality but after that, it was like nothing happened. Sure, JJ still called you princess and you still found yourself hiding into his side during scary movies, but those were habits you two had prior to dating, and old habits die hard.

The only other difference was that John B and Sarah were getting married.

They were planning on getting married at The Lodge at Bear River in fall which meant a ferry to the mainland and then an almost 8-hour road trip to the venue. 

You, Kie, and Wheezie were bridesmaids, Kie being maid of honor, and Pope, JJ, and much to John B's displeasure, Rafe were groomsmen, JJ being best man. 

You and Pope were walking together which left Rafe and his half-sister to walk together. 

Rafe looked at his sister and John B, trying to stay as unphased as possible. "Y/N's gonna be a part of the wedding party?" He asked, taking a drag from his cigarette from his spot by the pool. 

John B and Sarah were outside at the patio table with their wedding planner, going over guests and the wedding party. The three looked over at Rafe and Sarah nodded.

"Why wouldn't she?"

"No reason. If you need someone to walk with her, I'll do it." He told her as nonchalantly as possible. 

"She's walking with Pope." John B responded. Rafe made a face as he brought the cigarette back up to his lips and John B narrowed his eyes. "Oh, I'm sorry. Is there a problem?" Sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"No. No problem. It's your wedding."

John B rolled his eyes before turning back to the wedding planner. 

Rafe stood up and walked inside, flipping John B the bird as he walked by. He felt as if John B was put on this earth just to make him miserable at this point.

Rafe walked over to the bar and fixed himself a drink, Wheezie rolling her eyes from her spot on the couch in between Rose and Ward, who were currently scrolling through formal wear for the wedding. 

"Dad, Rafe's day drinking... again." The now eighteen-year-old piped up.

Rafe glared at her. "Just wait Wheezie. This will be you in a few years." He told his half-sister with a smirk.

Wheezie scrunched up her face in disgust at the sight of her brother holding his cigarette in one hand and drink in the other.

Rose, a glass of wine in her hand, rolled her eyes at her stepson as Ward, a gin and tonic in his hand, just sighed. "It's five o'clock somewhere, Wheezie." 

Rafe clinked his glass against his father’s as he made his way upstairs to his old room that he was temporarily staying in since his apartment building had taken some damage during the latest hurricane and was currently getting the necessary repairs done, and closed the door behind him. He sat down at his old desk chair and looked at the corkboard above the desk where a couple of polaroid pictures of you hung. The pictures were the first thing Rafe went looking for when he had gotten back to his apartment, letting out a sigh of relief when he saw the little lockbox he had stored the polaroids still in the closet and completely unscathed. Rafe downed his drink as he swiveled his chair back and forth. 

Of course, John B wouldn't pair you and him up. That would be helping a brother out. Rafe did everything he could to show that he changed once he heard you and JJ broke up.

 He quit cocaine and took up cigarettes instead. He went back to college and got a business degree. He was currently working and getting along with his father. He had his life together, mostly, and on track. The only thing missing from his life was you.

He had barely spent more than 5 minutes in a room with you since the breakup because you were either by JJ or you retreated as far from him as possible. He'd casually bring you up in conversation with John B and your friend would just roll his eyes. 

"We don't bring you up in conversations, Rafe." John B told him one day.

That cut the blue-eyed man deep.

Especially since this was after Rafe gave John B the money he needed to buy Sarah an engagement ring. 

Some wingman John B was.

Rafe stood up with a sigh and walked downstairs, deciding to bring the entire bottle of whiskey upstairs since he could already tell it was going to be one of those nights. He halted by the patio door though when he heard his sister and John B start talking.

“Would it be that bad to pair Rafe and Y/N up for the wedding? I highly doubt Wheezie wants to walk with him. At least Y/N won’t whine about it.” She asked as she placed a hand on his arm, the wedding planner nowhere in sight.

Rafe leaned against the wall, biting his lip as he waited for John B’s answer. If Rafe was being honest, he was kind of surprised that his sister would even consider asking John B that since she could care less about what Rafe wanted.

“Sarah, I love you but you did not see her that day or the day after or the following month and a half after that. Do you know how hard it was seeing Y/N like that? Heartbroken. Not wanting to get out of bed. Thinking she did the wrong thing and that caused him to go over the edge. Do you know how many times JJ, Pope, Kie and I caught her reading the obituaries to make sure Rafe’s name wasn’t in there?” John B looked at his fiancée. “I’m not pairing them up together without her permission. That’s that.”

“Then ask her.”

"What?" 

"Ask Y/N if she wants to walk with Rafe?" Sarah saw the 'are you kidding' look in John B's eyes. "I'm serious John B. Rafe's changed a lot and, despite what you think, you cannot keep her from talking or seeing my brother all your life."

"I can try." The curly-haired boy stated, crossing his arms.

"You know what, JB? You are acting like a damn child. It is not going to break Y/N/N if you ask her one small question that contains the name Rafe, okay? I'm sure she can hear his name and not break down or something. It's been long enough. Let him have that 5 minutes he needs to talk to her cause, yeah I do not doubt that Y/N took their breakup hard, but what about Rafe? Hmm? Believe it or not John B, but my brother has fucking feelings too, okay. He probably took that break up just as hard and Wheezie and I witnessed it. So stop acting like even whispering Rafe's name will break her and just fucking ask her if she wants to walk with Rafe or Pope."

"Fine. If it makes you and Rafe happy, I'll ask her." John B huffed.

Rafe didn't stay to hear the rest, just turned around and walked back to his room, the whiskey bottle long forgotten. 

****

Fall had come quickly and the wedding date came even faster. It was like Rafe blinked and then he was on the ferry two days before the wedding, sitting next to you, very awkwardly might I add, his leg bouncing up and down as he played with his fingers. It was like he didn't know what to do with his hands. After all these years, the most natural thing to do with one of his hands was still to place it on your thigh and the amount of willpower it took to not do that exact thing was unbelievable.

Rafe had told his dad that he was going to rent his own car because eight hours in a car with his family was a hard no for him. 

So there he was, walking over to the car he rented and opening the door before stopping and watching you get in a car with Pope, Kie, and JJ.

You glanced up just before you got in, making eye contact with him. You gave him a small smile to make it a little less awkward and Rafe returned the smile before hopping into the car. He watched you guys pull away and pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh before putting the key into the ignition and starting the car. 

This was going to be the longest three days of his life.

***

He was happy for the long-ass drive of day one considering once everyone got to the hotel, there was a silent, collective decision to all just turn in for the night. 

Day two was a little less chill. After being awoken by a panicked banging on the door of his hotel room, Rafe got out of bed as quickly as he could and opened the door, only to be greeted by Sarah who roughly pushed past him into his room.

“Yeah. Come on in. Good morning to you too.” He deadpanned before shutting the door.

“What the hell am I doing, Rafe?” She asked out of the blue, causing a look of confusion to settle on his face.

“I don’t know. You tell me.” He stated.

He watched as Sarah sat on his bed and ran her hands through her hair, letting out a breath. “Is this too soon? Am I getting married too young? Like, I’m 21, Rafe. I should be out getting blackout drunk and having hookups and having regrets but instead, I’m doing the exact opposite.” She rambled.

“Okay. I see what’s happening now.” Rafe walked over and sat down next to Sarah. “Sarah, trust me when I say that marrying John B will not hurt any of that. I guarantee that you and John B will get blackout drunk together and call someone for a ride. I guarantee you will be having hookups, it’s just that all of them will be with John B. And you will have regrets. What those regrets are, I have no fucking clue but life is full of them. Trust me, I have a lot of regrets and I’m only 24.” Rafe told her. “But, I don’t think marrying John B is going to be one of your regrets. Canceling this wedding would be. After all, the venue does say no refunds.”

Sarah snorted slightly and Rafe bumped his shoulder against hers. “Believe me, Sarah, if anyone is ready to get married at this age, it’s you. You came down with a damn binder filled to the brim when you were like seven and placed it in front of me and dad on the coffee table and told dad to start making connections with everyone in that binder, right down to the dress designer.”

Sarah smiled before turning and wrapping her arms around Rafe. “Who would’ve thought you could give a pep talk. And liked John B.” She said.

Rafe slowly wrapped his arms around his younger sister. “Apparently you because you came to me. However, this does not mean I like John B. I am not going to start canceling shit just to have some one-on-one time with that curly-haired surfer dude. Okay? I simply tolerate him because he somehow makes you happy.”

After breakfast and lunch that he spent with Wheezie, last-minute plans when he walked to your room to ask you to lunch only to knock and have you answer the door which caused him to quickly abandon that plan and say “Whoops sorry. Room 202 for Wheeze,”, the rehearsal dinner came quickly. 

In all honesty, Rafe wasn't really paying attention to the dinner at all. How could he when you were right there, quite literally within his reach, laughing and smiling?

The actual wedding day itself was stressful leading up to the ceremony but after everyone got where they needed to be, it was smooth sailing. Rafe and Wheezie walked out after Kie and JJ. 

Rafe watched you walk down with Pope and couldn't help the pang of jealousy he felt in his chest. He also couldn't help but imagine himself as the groom and you in a white dress, walking down the aisle towards him.

He quickly shook the thought from his head though, watching you take your place next to Wheezie before turning your attention towards the door to watch his dad and sister walkout. 

You glanced over at Rafe and smiled slightly when you saw him bring a hand up to his cheek, wiping away a tear. You turned your attention to John B before Rafe could look over and catch you staring.

You saw John B wipe his hands on his trousers as subtly as he could. You caught JJ's eyes and he shook his head, mouthing 'fucking whipped' to you.

You nodded and moved your eyes between Sarah and John B before settling them back on JJ. 'Obviously' you mouthed back before the pair of you stopped before someone caught you.

In all honesty, Sarah did and she saw Rafe catch the interaction as well, noticing him swallow hard.

The ceremony went smoothly with no objections -Rafe fought back the urge to object just to mess with everyone but he knew his entire family wouldn't appreciate the humor- and after pictures, everyone moved inside for the reception as the sun began to set.

Dinner and drinks were served, toasts were made -JJ had made sure to include a few of John B's stupid and most embarrassing moments, much to Rafe's pleasure-, and then the dancing began. 

Sarah and Ward had their father/daughter dance and then John B and Sarah had their first dance before everyone else was encouraged to join them on the dance floor.

Wheezie walked over to Rafe and Rafe looked at her. "I am not nearly drunk enough to get out on that floor and dance with you Wheezie."

Wheezie just rolled her eyes. "You have a shot right now to go ask Y/N to dance and no one will even notice you. Take it." Rafe ignored her. "Oh, okay. So you can sit there and stare but you don't have the balls to walk up to her and say 'wanna dance'?"

Rafe glared at his half-sister. "Watch your mouth, Wheezie."

Wheezie took one last glance at the dance floor and shrugged. "That's fine. Looks like someone else did."

Rafe had never scanned a crowd faster than he did right there and sure enough, there you were, a cousin of his with his hands on your waist and yours on his shoulders, moving slowly around the dance floor.

"I'm going out for a smoke," Rafe muttered before getting up and making his way out of the building. 

He stood outside and brought out his pack of cigarettes, along with his lighter, and opened up the little carton. He withdrew a cigarette before closing the pack and shoving it back into his pocket, placing the cigarette between his lips. He heard the song from inside end before another one started back up as he flicked the spark wheel a couple of times, his thumb landing on the fork before a flame appeared.

He cupped his hand in front of the flame and brought the flame to the cigarette that rested between his lips, making a mental note to buy a new lighter since his was running out of juice.

Rafe heard the door open and close as he shoved the lighter back into his pocket and inhaled. He blew out the smoke before looking over to see who had joined him and was a little surprised to see you.

Of course, Rafe knew at some point you'd duck out of the party for some fresh air considering in social situations where they were tons of people, you needed to get away for a bit and recharge your social battery. He just didn't expect you to do that so soon.

You both stared out in front of you, not saying anything and Rafe brought the cigarette to his lips again, taking another drag.

"It's beautiful out here." You breathed out, trying to start some conversation.

Rafe nodded as he exhaled. "Yeah, it is."

"I wouldn't mind getting married here." You added absent-mindedly.

If Rafe had a drink right now, he would've choked at your words. He nodded nonetheless. "Yeah. It's a pretty nice place to get married."

You looked over at Rafe. "You gonna be okay over there, big guy?"

Rafe turned his head to look at you, confusion written all over his face. "What are you talking about?"

"I saw you wipe a tear away, bub." Rafe's heart sped up at the nickname that you used to use on him. "When Sarah was walking down the aisle. You gonna be okay or should the same reaction be expected at Wheezie's wedding too?" You smiled as Rafe groaned, tilting his head to look at the almost pitch-black sky.

"Don't even mention Wheezie getting married. To me, she's still that annoying thirteen-year-old that was always eavesdropping and snooping through shit." 

"Awe, Rafe. You got a soft spot for your sisters now. That’s so sweet." You cooed, knowing that when he was 19, the only thing he did was complain about the two Cameron girls. "Seriously though, I think it's sweet that you walked with Wheezie and that you shed a tear today." You told him.

Rafe couldn't stop the words that tumbled out of his mouth. "I wanted to walk with you but you told John B you'd rather walk with Pope."

Way to go, dumbass, he thought to himself.

"What are you talking about?" It was your turn to look confused.

Rafe sighed, taking another drag from his cigarette and letting the smoke pour past his lips as he spoke. "I offered to walk with you and John B said no. I overheard him and Sarah talking a bit later and Sarah told him that it wouldn't hurt to ask if you wanted to walk with me or not. And I think you know the rest."

He might as well fess up about it since his mouth and brain already decided to rat him out anyway.

You shook your head. "I don't know the rest because John B never asked me who I wanted to walk with nor did he ask if I wanted to walk with you."

Rafe looked over at you, his eyes locked on yours. He knew when you were lying and this was not one of those times.

He chuckled before shaking his head. "God. He's such a dick."

You ignored his comment about one of your best friends and walked closer to him. "You seriously wanted to walk with me?"

Rafe nodded, looking down at the ground. He was in way over his head, admitting that after half a decade he was still thinking about you and wanting to be with you. Even if it was for like a 20-second walk down an aisle.

You felt a blush grow on your cheeks as you looked down at your hands, playing with your fingers.

A beat passed before you spoke, keeping your head down. "If it makes you feel better… I would've said yes."

Rafe looked at you. "Yeah?"

You nodded and he took another drag from his cigarette.

"Can we start over?" He asked.

"What?" Your Y/E/C eyes lifted from the ground to meet his blue ones.

"Can we start over?"

You bit your lip. "Yeah. Sure."

Rafe cleared his throat before placing a small smile on his face and giving a little bow. "Hello. I'm Rafe."

You breathed out a laugh before giving Rafe a slight curtsy. "Hello, Rafe. I'm Y/N. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Rafe shook his head. "Oh no. The pleasure is all mine."

Your heads both turned to the building when the song changed once again to a slower song and Rafe took Wheezie's advice on seizing an opportunity. 

"You still like this song?" You nodded once more and Rafe put out his cigarette before extending his hand to you. "Would you like to dance?"

You smiled and took his hand. "Of course."

He placed his hands on your waist and yours looped around his neck, him starting to sway you two slightly.

"You look amazing by the way." Rafe complimented, taking in the lavender color of your bridesmaid dress.

"Thank you. You look rather dashing yourself." You took your hands from his neck and straightened his tie before returning them to where they previously were.

You moved closer to Rafe, resting your head on his chest as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Rafe?" You mumbled towards the end of the song.

"Mhm?"

"I missed you." You admitted.

Rafe smiled before placing a kiss at the top of your head. "I missed you too, Y/N/N."

"Rafe?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you maybe wanna ride back to the ferry together? 8 hours is a long trip.  Especially when you're alone and I have to deal with JJ, Pope, and Kie." 

You heard Rafe’s heart speed up a bit before it calmed back down as he took a deep breath. 

"I would love that."

~~~~~~~

[keeptheotherone]

Mecation: Day 1 

Thursday

I once read social media described as an indulgence of the fantasy that others are interested in the details of our lives. I’m indulging in that fantasy this week by blogging about my Mecation under the guise of travel blogging ;)

If you follow me in even the most casual way, you know I’m a nurse. While I’ve enjoyed the vast majority of my 23 years as such, I don’t recommend it during a pandemic. The last 18 months have been the second-worst mental health period of my life, demoted to that position not because of the mildness of my symptoms but simply because at 15 I didn’t have the experience or perspective to realize my life was not, in fact, ruined forever.

COVID increased my personal vulnerability as a high-risk patient and made my job immensely more difficult in countless ways both small and large, but the worst part of the pandemic for me (so far) is it took away all my coping mechanisms precisely when I needed them most. Massage, pedicures, dinner out with friends, travel ... all gone practically overnight. Pre-COVID I travelled all the time--home to my parents’, long weekends by myself (Mecation!), annual visits to BFFs, conferences, tourism, the beach, my birthday, writing trips, international trips ... I always had at least one trip in the works, usually one booked and one (or more!) in the planning stages. 

When COVID started, all my close friends and family except for two lived out of state. One of those two was out of town but close enough to get together, but the other was a few hours’ drive away. I’m single and live alone; it was the most isolated I’ve ever been in my whole life. 

With my bestest friends over 500 miles away, I still feel that way sometimes. I haven’t seen them in a year. If it weren’t for COVID, it would only be 7 or 8 months (I’ve gone every January or February since ... forever). Then again, if it weren’t for COVID, I wouldn’t have been there last September; one had been hospitalized and I needed to see she was all right with my own two eyeballs. I expect it will be at least another 7 or 8 months before we get together again, bringing the total to about 20 months. One year we saw each other 5 times in 9 months, our personal best since college. 

I was alone on Christmas. Oh, I’ve spent December 25th on my own before; I’m a nurse. I’ve worked the night of the 24th or the 25th (or both), or whatever combination that didn’t leave enough time off to drive home. But I’ve never spent the Christmas season without my parents. Sometimes the week before, sometimes the week after, sometimes at my place instead of home, but always together. But last Christmas COVID was raging, the vaccines had just come out but were only available to first responders (I got mine on the 23rd), and my elderly parents didn’t feel safe to travel. So I spent Christmas without family.

Travel was not just a break from my daily routine and the stress of nursing; in many ways, the biggest benefit travel made to my mental and emotional health was giving me something to look forward to.  Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick,” and ohhh, I was so heartsick last year! Not being able to travel meant I couldn’t visit my best friends of almost 25 years (more than half my life!). Not being able to travel meant I couldn’t lean on my dad or be hugged by my mom. Not being able to travel--and not knowing when I could travel--left this gaping hole in my future, and I had nothing to fill it with. 

I tell you this not to throw a pity party but to explain the significance of the trip I’m on right now. It is only my third this year: my dad and I spent a week in the mountains in February (my depression and anxiety was so bad then that was treatment, not vacation), I took a friend to the beach over my birthday, and now I’m a couple hours from home at a nice spa hotel. (I’m not counting my nephew’s graduation, which was emotionally challenging for multiple reasons, or helping a friend move from Florida. Moving is never fun.)

I started planning this trip in the spring ... May, maybe? You know, after the vaccine rolled out to everyone and case counts were dropping and it looked like we were gonna lick this thing and have a quasi-normal summer by the Fourth of July (yes, I’m American. That date is a proper noun here.). I had switched jobs in November (don’t ask) and gone on mental health leave December 29th, so I felt I owed it to my unit to put in about six months of work before taking any significant time off, especially since I came back at 24 hours instead of 36. That meant September.

I knew what I wanted to do: 4 or 5 days at an all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean. I’d been before and loved the freedom of not worrying about every little expenditure (what can I say, I’m cheap), and a few days of Vitamin Sea sounded perfect.

Then came Delta.

All right, maybe going out of the country isn’t the best idea, I thought. Don’t want to end up with expensive reservations and then your destination closes to Americans, or you make it to your chosen island but can’t get back home. But I didn’t want to fly (ugh, airports!), I didn’t want to drive (rest stops and restaurants and gas stations), and while I thought about taking the train, it didn’t seem much of an improvement (and maybe a downgrade) on flying.

Then a friend mentioned a sleeper car, and I thought yes! That could work! I’ve never been to New England, I want to go to Boston, that area of the country has low case rates and the highest vaccination rates, this has potential! 

Then I looked at the CDC map. There were only four states that didn’t have high transmission at that time (early August, I think; I’d had to wait for confirmation that my time off had been approved): Michigan, Rhode Island, Maine, and New Hampshire. All four had substantial rates of transmission. Hardly ideal, but one thing I’ve learned this year is sometimes you have to make compromises to protect your mental health. It is true it doesn’t matter if you’re happy if you’re dead; it is also true it doesn’t matter if you’re safe if you want to kill yourself. (I’m not suicidal, I am receiving treatment, don’t anybody panic.)

So, now I’ve settled on Maine or New Hampshire by train via sleeper car (Michigan is too far for a 4-5 day trip and RI--meh). Well, as I got deeper into planning, turned out Maine or NH were awfully far too. Far enough I would have to overnight in a major city, which pretty much defeated the purpose of isolating in a sleeper car. Then I found out there were no sleeper cars on either train route.

So, now vacation is 5 weeks away and I’m back at square one. The Deep South, Texas, and Florida are imploding. Pediatric cases are rising--kids are sicker and make up a higher percentage of cases than they did last year. Scuttlebutt from my ICU colleagues is it’s bad--17/30 MICU beds are COVID and they’re all vented. SICU is being nicknamed “the ECMO unit.” The hospital has 18(!) ECMO machines and 12 are in use; the float nurse who tells us that didn’t even know we had 12 because she’s never seen that many in use at one time. Hospital-wide our numbers are equivalent to early February (we peaked in January). There were six--SIX--pediatric rapid responses in one day. 

And I’m going to travel.

It’s a big deal ... a big accomplishment, really, because of what it says about how I’m successfully managing my anxiety. April 1 was the first time I’d been inside a grocery store in more than a year ... and that wasn’t my idea. It was late April or May before I was comfortable eating in restaurants, even with the falling case count at the time. I’m still not sure if I’m managing my anxiety or reacting to the pressure by going to the opposite extreme (I have a history of that), but I know I’m less stressed, less anxious, have fewer obsessive thoughts, fewer physical symptoms, and am learning to live with this disease. 

So, here I sit at a marble-topped 5-foot-wide desk in my queen/queen hotel room at the end of a productive and enjoyable day. I slept in, completed the big goal of this weekend’s to-do list that I honestly thought would take several days, unpacked and organized my room (I arrived yesterday evening), reorganized my Favorites Bar and Bookmarks on my Mac, had an 80-minute aromatherapy massage, enjoyed a shower in the spa afterwards and even blow-dried my hair(!) before wandering around for a while to get the lay of the land and get some steps in (this place is huge!). Then I changed clothes and took myself out to dinner for my favorite food, Italian. 

That’s me in the picture up top, all dressed up :) Actually, I probably look pretty normal to y’all; like most people with depression, my personal hygiene sunk to new lows in the last year and a half, and as a low-maintenance person to begin with, that’s saying a lot. I bought that necklace as a bridesmaid and am not sure I’ve worn it since; this spring was her 10th anniversary. Yesterday I took out the cat-shaped earrings Dad gave me for Christmas. (Yes, they were gross. Yes, I cleaned them. Yes, I’m wearing them again now.) Just wearing a nice top, fixing my hair (no ponytail or claw-clip bun, my staples), and adding jewelry was a big deal ... especially since “no one” was going to see me. I did it just for me, to make myself feel good. And I did. (That’s another small pleasure COVID took away from me--lip gloss. If I wore any makeup at all, it was lipstick or gloss. Utterly pointless when you’re masked whenever you’re in public.)

I took my laptop to dinner and edited a couple chapters of my new Charlie/Amy fic (previewed during #ktoo turns 10), ran a couple errands, and headed back to the hotel since I don’t like to be out late by myself in an unfamiliar city. Forgot I put my receipt envelope in the backseat pocket and reorganized the glove compartment looking for it, then gathered a bunch of returns into a bag in the trunk. Hung out writing in the lobby until my Mac threatened to die, came upstairs and tidied up, put on my jammies, and talked to you guys :) 

[damn-behzinga]

Happy Hours

summary - Ethan talks about you and your son on the Happy Hour Podcast.

warnings - talk of drugs, alcohol, teenage pregnancy, illness and death, swearing, my terrible writing

Part two of After Meeting A Little Early

masterlist  -  request here

Ethan talking on the happy hour podcast

"So I wanted to talk about your wife and son if you don't mind?" Jack asked.

Ethan nodded. "Yeah, of course."

"So when did you have your son and how old is he? How did you meet your wife? What's the story?" Jack questioned

"So, my wife and I met in secondary school and then we went to the same college. We became a thing in year eleven, and we didn't plan to go to the same college but the college did our courses. I studied games development and web design and she studied criminology with psychology and forensics." Ethan explained.

"Woah!" Jack exclaimed. "You were so young!"

"Yeah and we had both turned seventeen and we found out that she was pregnant." Ethan swallowed, he always got nervous talking about his son and his teenage pregnancy, people reacted massively and changed their opinions in seconds.

"Wow, so you were literally teenagers when you had him?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, so Ben - my son - was born October 2012." Ethan nodded. "He's eight this year and I don't really show him on camera. There are those odd few moments where I do take a video with him but I did decide that whether he wants to be in videos is his decision. Kids are fucking brutal nowadays and I don't want him getting wrapped up in shit like that." Ethan explained.

"That has to of been very difficult for you. How did each of your parents take it?" Jack asked.

"So, y/n's parents kicked her out and haven't spoken to her since. She talked to her grandparents and siblings still but not her parents." Ethan explained.

"Holy shit!" Stevie exclaimed.

"My mum let her move in with us which I don't think I'll ever be able to thank her enough for it. My mum was nervous but when I said we chose to keep him, my mum wasn't necessarily happy, but she was accepting and questioned me to make sure we were ready." Ethan said.

"That's a smart move though. I rate that!" Jack said. "She's protecting you!"

Ethan nodded. "Yeah, yeah."

"So, you were doing YouTube at this time as well right?" Jordan asked.

"Yeah. I was doing three videos a day and full time at college." Ethan explained. "I was getting about an hour of sleep plus a nap every night and it fucked me up. I had met Josh, Tobi, Simon, and JJ at this point and I decided to not to tell them about Ben until a month before we met in real life."

"Why is that?" Jack asked.

"To be honest, I was scared," Ethan stated. "I was scared people weren't gonna be accepting of my early parenthood, you know?"

The other men let out noises of the agreement as Ethan nodded.

"So, how did they react?" Jack pondered, watching Ethan carefully.

"They all accepted it but they didn't meet him until he was three and it was a big situation because this is my son and my best friends and I wanted them to be comfortable around one and other." Ethan coughed slightly. "Yeah, now Ben refers to them as Uncle. It's amazing."

"That's well sweet!" Stevie chuckled.

"Oh my God, who's his favourite?" Jack exclaimed quickly.

"Um, he loves JJ and Vik." Ethan laughed. "He and JJ have a handshake but when Ben is in a room with anyone, the first person he goes to is Vik. He always gets Vik to play with his toys."

The other men awed.

"I will say," Ethan said. "The boys are lifesavers. A few weeks before Ben's seventh birthday, it was the hardest month of mine and y/n's life. Y/n lost her Nan, her granddad got ill and because of y/n's parents we weren't allowed to go to the funeral so we never got to say goodbye." Ethan swallowed. "Even more, y/n lost her job and everything was just hitting us. The boys set up an entire birthday party for Ben and paid for everything and got him presents. Honestly, me and y/n cried of happiness that night when Ben got to bed."

"That's bullshit. No offence but that's still y/n's family, they could at least have let her go!" Jack argued, and Ethan just nodded not saying a word. 

"God, I couldn't imagine that all happening especially in the same month." Stevie shook his head in disbelief. 

Ethan nodded and swallowed. "We got married that same year. We had been planning it that year and we were fortunate for y/n's granddad to come along because he was really ill at the time. We got married in the beautiful garden and I had the men as my groomsmen. Y/n had Freya, Talia, Katie, her sister, her two friends from college, and Sarah. Ben was stood next to us whilst it happened and he was a ring boy."

"Thank you for inviting us by the way." Jordan smiled.

"It's alright, mate." Ethan grinned. "We were gonna have family and the bridesmaids and groomsmen and that was it. We decided that we wanted everyone to come because everyone has had some role in our lives. Thankfully everyone committed to the no filming rule, we did get it filmed but we only released a few clips from it."

"Beautiful ceremony by the way. Where did you go on your honeymoon?"

"We went to Bora Bora which is gorgeous by the way."

"Lovely!" Stevie nodded.

"Honestly, I found out you were a dad before I actually met you and, I'm not gonna lie, I was worried about the fact you were a dad and whether you were gonna be a good one but I met you and realised, you are a good dad and you'd do anything for your son," Jack explained.

"Many people believe that!" Ethan chuckled. 

Jack nodded and continued. "You and y/n are the best parents I've ever met and, when I came down just to see everyone, it was nice because everyone was out for dinner and you bought Ben out with you. I am not exaggerating when I say he is the most polite and smart boy I have ever met. He started talking about animal facts and asking if I knew that Baloo from the fucking Jungle Book - or whatever it's called- was a sloth bear!"

Ethan laughed. "He gets all his brains from his mum honestly. Not me at all! I got fucking suspended from school a few times."

The men all laughed as Ethan took a sip of his water.

"Honestly, you should be proud of your son and y/n. You are some of the best people and parents I know!" 

Ethan blushed and smiled softly. "Thank you, that means so much more then you can imagine."

---

"So you said you were going through a hard time in 2015. What was y/n's reaction to that?" Jack asked.

Ethan took a deep breath and said. "So, Ben was turning three that year but it was a few months before his birthday. I was stupid, doing drugs and drinking way too much. It was a dark period in my life and y/n had come up to me and basically said, 'get your shit together, Ben and I are staying at my sister's and will stay there if you don't quit by the end of the month'."

"Fucking hell, y/n don't take shit!" Jack laughed.

"Yeah, but fair enough. I was putting my needs before our own son's which is fucked and I wasn't thinking right." Ethan explained. "About three weeks into her being gone I had got rid out of all alcohol out of my apartment and weed and whatever. I took a train up to y/n's sister's house and I told her that I got rid of all the shit and she came back that day. We went out to dinner and that was the moment where I realised how much y/n benefited my life."

The other men awed and Ethan chuckled.

He was grateful for everything you had bought into his life. There was never a dull moment with you and Ben by his side.

[breanime]

hi angel! can I request miguel galindo with the prompts 190. “I think I may be slightly more drunk than I thought.” and 187. “I know I kissed you before, but I didn’t do it right. Can I try again?” thank u so much! 💕

This got so long, I’m gonna link it in my Miguel masterlist haha. 

Miguel couldn’t take his eyes off of you all day. How could he? You were the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, and every time you moved, he was graced with a new view of your gorgeous body in that dress.

That dress.

God, you looked so damn good in that dress, it was criminal. Nestor was marrying one of your closest friend’s—a woman Miguel wholeheartedly approved of—and yet you outshone her and everyone else at the reception. You wore the same exact dress of the other 6 bridesmaids, but they all paled in comparison to you. Your beauty was unmatched, and as you walked around, hugging friends and making sure everything was running smoothly, Miguel’s desire for you grew and grew.

He’d always wanted you, since the day Nestor’s girl brought you around in college, but it seemed like the two of you were always just missing one another, in terms of romance. Except for one night…

It was Miguel’s senior year, and your junior year. Miguel and Emily were broken up, though everyone knew they would eventually get back together. Nestor was visiting both Miguel and your friend, and the four of you went out drinking. Somehow, you and Miguel ended up alone in his apartment (Galindos did not do dorms), with his arm around your shoulder as you sipped beer on the couch.

“Did you know that you’re never more than 6 feet away from a spider at any given moment?” You asked, resting your beer in your lap.

Miguel laughed, cocking an eyebrow as he smiled down at you. This felt so right, being with you like this, his arm around you and you curled up against his side. Miguel had always felt a closeness and calmness with you that he never felt with anyone else—Emily included—and he loved being with you. “That can’t be true.”

“It is!” You argued. “No matter where you are—the car, an airplane, the shower—”

--an image of you in his shower, mouth open and neck exposed to him (everything exposed to him), flashed in his mind, and Miguel cleared his throat, hoping you couldn’t guess the turn his thoughts had taken.

“—it’s a fun fact.”

“How is that fun?” He chuckled, tilting his head as he looked at you. “I don’t want to be thinking about spiders when I’m in the shower.”

You bit your lip, your hand darting out to land on his chest. “There’s probably a spider near us right now,” you said, your voice low and unnecessarily sexy, “I feel so unsafe.”

Miguel laughed again. “You know you’re always safe with me, corazon,” he took your hand in his, not moving it from his chest, “I won’t let any spiders get you.”

“You promise?” You batted your eyelashes at him, and Miguel felt his chest tighten.

He had to have you.

Miguel leaned closer slowly, giving you the time to read his actions and move away or stop him if you wanted, but you didn’t. Instead, you leaned in too, until Miguel was pressing his lips against yours, sighing contently at the feeling. His hand was still holding yours when he pulled back, his dark eyes staring at you, watching you closely for any signs of discomfort or regret. He didn’t see any. “I promise,” he said, his voice coming out in a whisper.

“I—” you began but stopped when there was a knock on the door.

“Miguel!” Emily called from the other side of the door, pounding as she spoke. “Miguel! Open up, mi amor, I know you’re home!”

You and Miguel stared at each other for a moment, frozen in time. Miguel always regretted his inaction in that moment; he wondered, often, what his life would have been like if he’d acted faster. Maybe he wouldn’t be a divorced single father had he reacted quicker. Maybe you would have been Mrs. Miguel Galindo…

…maybe he would have been happy.

Instead, he had stood up, facing the door, and that one movement was enough to put up a wall between the two of you.

“I’m drunk,” you had announced, jumping off the couch and pulling your shoes on, “I think I may be slightly more drunk than I thought.”

“Y/N—”

“—I should go. I’m gonna go,” you said as Emily continued knocking, “Uh… I’m gonna sneak out the back,” you decided, turning towards the balcony.

“Yeah,” he agreed, already walking towards the front door even though every part of him wanted to stay with you, “okay… I’ll, uh, see you later.”

“Right,” you nodded, not looking at him, “See ya, Miguel.”

And with that, you walked out of his apartment, and he only ever saw you in passing or in groups of people. He invited you to his wedding, more out of obligation than an actual desire to share that day with you, but you said you couldn’t make it. You had sent a nice gift in your place, though, and Miguel couldn’t help but picture your face as he held his new bride’s hand.

Now he was single, and you were… with some guy? Miguel’s eyes squinted as he regarded the man you’d brought as your date. He was an academic type, judging from the width of his forehead and his wimpy little arms, and he was new money, Miguel could tell. He wasn’t worthy of you—not that any man besides himself was—and he watched, unimpressed, as the man followed you around, barely keeping up with you as you flittered around the party.

“She looks beautiful.” Miguel looked up to see his ex-wife, Emily, standing next to him, a glass of champagne in her hands as she stared over at you, a soft smile on her face. “Y/N,” she clarified when Miguel didn’t respond, “she looks beautiful, don’t you think?”

He nodded, taking a sip from his own glass. “Yes, she does,” he agreed, eyes on you. You had been laughing with Dita when your little nerd boyfriend had come over and stolen your attention.

“You should ask her to dance,” Emily counseled. Her smile widened at the skeptical look on Miguel’s face at her words. “I’m not blind, Miguel. I know you’ve always had feelings for her.” She shrugged. “I used to think that you loved her, and that was fine, because you loved me more.” She gave a humorless laugh. “We wasted so much time trying to force a love that had died a long time ago, didn’t we, Miguel?”

“We did,” he said, turning to look at her. He felt a strange sense of affection for her in that moment; nothing sexual, just… He was glad his friend was there. “I often think about how things would be if you’d stayed with EZ, and I…”

“…Had stayed with Y/N?” She finished. “I always wondered… Did the two of you ever…?”

“We kissed,” he answered, “once, in college. That was all.” He could hear the bitterness in his voice.

“Hm,” Emily nodded, crossing her arms and watching you with Miguel, “that’s too bad…”

“What do you know about him?” Miguel asked, inclining his head towards you and the pencil pusher you’d brought with you.

She laughed. “Not much. But if I had to bet, I’d say he was just another place holder…” She smiled up at him, her eyes twinkling. “…for someone better.”

Miguel nodded, gulping down the last of his champagne before placing the glass on the nearest table. Someone better. “Thank you,” he said, dropping a soft kiss to the top of Emily’s head as he walked past her. He strode over to you, eyes focused on you and you only, and came to stand behind you. “Excuse me,” he said, flashing you a dazzling smile, “can I have this dance?”

Your pretty eyes widened in surprise, but you nodded, agreeing to the dance. Miguel held out his hand, smirking over at the human calculator that was your date, and led you to the dancefloor. He put his hands on your hips and swayed with you, smiling down at you and feeling happier and more at peace than he had in a long, long time.

“It’s good to see you,” he said, “You look… You look beautiful.”

You smiled shyly. “Thanks, Miguel. You look very handsome yourself,” you licked your lips, and Miguel wanted to lick them too, “I saw you talking with Emily. That’s good.”

“She was just telling me to shoot my shot,” he said honestly, “with you,” he clarified, “We both agreed that we wasted too much time with the wrong people.”

“Oh,” you said, eyes wide, “You… You did?”

He nodded, chuckling at the shock on your face. Did you really not know how he felt? If things went well, he looked forward to showing you just what it meant to be loved by Miguel Galindo. “Yeah, but I see now that you have a boyfriend—”

“—He isn’t my boyfriend,” you said quickly, “he’s just a friend from work.” You smiled, clearing your throat and trying to come off as less eager, which only made Miguel that much fonder of you. “I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m single.”

“Listen, mi corazon,” he said, his voice smooth and even, “I know I kissed you before, but I didn’t do it right. Can I try again?”

“Yes,” you breathed out, “please.”

Miguel felt his knees go weak at that ‘please’. Grateful and slightly proud of himself for staying upright, Miguel bent down and kissed you. His mouth moved against yours slow and careful, and he moved a hand to your neck, angling your head to get better access to your lips. You fit against him perfectly, you were made for this—for him—and Miguel was made for you. Finally, he was forced to pull back so the two of you could breathe. He smiled down at you when he saw the affection in your eyes—the same affection, he thought, that was reflected in his. “You see,” he said, both hands on either side of your face now, “this time, there won’t be anything getting in the way.” He stared down at you, and man… He wanted to devour you, wanted to pull you to him and never let you go—so much so, that he couldn’t even keep the desire and possessiveness out of his eyes, he knew you could see it.

And you smiled.

Miguel kissed you again, hard and rough, his lips moving against yours as his tongue slipped into your mouth and his hands kept you close. He broke the kiss, both of you breathing heavily, and stared down at you. “We need to get out of here,” he said, voice low, “now.”

You grinned, and he wanted to feel that grin against his lips again…and for the rest of his life. “You want to just leave the wedding?” You asked, giggling as Miguel took your hand and started to lead you through the crowd. “What will people say?”

“They’ll say ‘thank God, they didn’t stay and I didn’t have to see Miguel Galindo fuck Y/N in the middle of the ballroom’,” he said back, stopping once you got to the edge of the dancefloor to kiss you again, “I wasted so much time,” he murmured against your lips, “so much time when I should have been loving you…” He sighed. “I have so much to make up for…”

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, smiling up at him with those irresistible eyes that he adored, “Let’s start now,” you said, “c’mon, jefe, take me home…”

And he did.

From then on, Miguel pulled out all the stops, showering you with all of the love, affection, and attention he wished he’d shown you all those years ago. It took you a while, at first, to get used to being so spoiled, but eventually you did. And Miguel made sure to keep his first promise to you, the one he’d made in his college apartment so long ago—

—keeping you safe from spiders.

On your 10-year anniversary, after enduring some friendly ribbing from Nestor and his wife, you brought a bouquet into the room, your diamond ring glittering in the sun. Emily had sent it, congratulating you both on your anniversary and wishing you 10 more years of marital bliss. You placed the flowers on a ledge in the living room, right next to the picture Nestor had taken the day of his wedding, of you and Miguel connected by the lips in the middle of the dancefloor.

It was Miguel’s favorite picture.

*******************************************************************************************

Thanks for reading!

Everything Taglist: @encounterthepast @jigsawlover10 @gollyderek @charlylama @realduckvader @teacuplotus @whovianayesha  @lexxierave @loveintheroyalfamily  @fanfictionrecommendations-com  @maxslime-blog @songforhema @lucielandss @themadhatter92  @the-blind-assassin-12 @christinawxxx @anabella-baby @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme @luminex3 @ashkuuuu @luckysstrikes @carlaangel86 @floralpeaceofmind @dylanobrusso @iaintnofurry  @ymariejp @its-my-little-dumpster-fire @mrsjaxtellerfan @holamor @drinix @rhabakoli @stories-you-wont-hear @king4thesirens @leahnicole1219 @evanlys19  @binbons-is-theloml @aikeia

Taglist: @glimmerglittergirl @cococruz-mayansmc  

[bonappetizzle]

Dreams, Fairytale, Fantasy

A/N: Back again. Not sure how I feel on this one, but yeah.

Pairing: Harry Styles x Black!Female Reader

Summary: Wedding day blues

Word count: 1973

You weren’t supposed to be here.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, but here you are, hours from impending heartbreak.

What does it matter anymore? You can’t change a thing.

You take a deep breath, knocking on the door, putting on the performance of a lifetime.

His best man smiles opening the door for you, inviting you into the grooms room.

“H, got someone to see you.” He puts his hands on your shoulders, squeezing them slightly as a warning. He’d convinced you it was the right thing to do. Who were you to ruin his day with this? I mean, you’d had so many opportunities to have told him before. But you didn’t. You couldn’t bring yourself to materialise the worlds.

You see him in the mirror, his brows knitted together, in frustration.

“Well can they help me with this stupid tie-“ he looks up, smiling at your reflection behind him. “Y/N!” He opens his arms to hug you. You Huh him back, careful of getting any makeup on his shirt.

“Hey, ready for your big day?” You ask, looking at him as he pulls out of the hug.

“M’nervous as hell,” he chuckles lightly. “And can’t get this tie right.” You shake your head, rolling your eyes at him. “Come here.” You lay your palm flat for him to give you the tie.

“I’m gonna get a bottle of brown, be back in a second.” Tom, his best man announces, leaving the two of you alone.

“Where’s the rest of your posse?” You clear your throat, wrapping the fabric around his neck.

“Probably trying to flirt with Lucy’s bridesmaids. Like they won’t have the time at the reception.” He scoffs. You crack a smile, pulling his tie together. “All done.” He smiles, turning to check himself in the mirror before hugging you again. “Thank you. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you.” He whispers in your ear.

“It’s fine H, your my best friend, that’s what I do.” He shakes his head, looking over you.

“Y’look pretty.” You raise an eyebrow, before knitting them together.

“Don’t I always?” You Joke. He shakes his head.

“Of course, you do, but I mean it, you look really pretty today. Dunno what it is, but you look different.” He brushes a stray curl from your face. You press your lips together, before the door opens, signalling Tom’s return. “Bourbon anyone?” He shimmy’s, making the two of you laugh.

“Me! I need a drink.” You take a glass from his hand, as he puts the others down, unscrewing the bottle for you. “You don’t usually drink brown liquor.” Harry comments.

“What do you mean? Y/N drinks brown all the time.” Tom looks at him confused, finishing pouring for you.

“I’ve never seen you drink brown asides from that one time in college after your dad-” he cuts himself short. Yeah, after your dad left. You roll your eyes, at the thought.

“I’ve been giving it a go again for a while. Brown can’t be a negative connotation forever H, and besides, who am I to turn down free booze. It’s fine.” You ruffle his head, taking a sip from your glass, internally grimacing from the burn. “If you say so.” He takes a glass. Tom pours him a shot, warning him against being drunk during the service. “I’m not a lightweight, I’m not gonna get drunk off of glass.”

“Have you eaten yet?” You ask, taking another sip.

“Are you my mum?” He groans.

You take the cup from him, rolling your eyes. You turn to Tom, handing him both cups. “Don’t let him drink till I get him something to eat.” You almost threaten, wiping your hands together, leaving them in his room. You lean against the wall besides the room, taking a deep breath, shaking your head.

C’mon Y/N. Only a couple more hours, then you can go home and forget all about it.

You push yourself up, walking down the stairs.

“Looking for someone?” Gemma asks. You clutch your chest, glaring at her before letting out a laugh.

“Please don’t sneak up on me.” She chuckles, shaking her head.

���S’fun. You and Harry are jumpy. He up in his room?” You nod, relaxing. “Then who ate you looking for with that face?”

“What face?”

“You looked really serious. I assumed to yell at some castaway grooms, which, might I tell you. I’ve already yelled at.” You smile, grateful for her.

“No, but that makes it a lot easier. I was looking for something to eat.”

“Ah, hungry?” You shake your head, while she looks at you confused.

“Tom brought up from booze, Harry hasn’t eaten. Said I’d go find him something.” She nods, leaning her arm out for you to link. “Catering is in the church reception, cmon.”

-

“What took you so long?” Harry asks; taking a bite of a cinnamon bun.

“Wow, thank you best friend for going out of your way to make sure I don’t pass out by the alter.”

“I wouldn’t have passed out.” He says, still chewing. You scrunch your nose, shaking your head.

“Don’t be gross.”

“Sorry,” he says, after swallowing.

“Where’s the other guys?” You ask.

“Taking pictures. Which, you are needed for.” You look at him confused. You weren’t technically part of his wedding party. “What do you mean?”

“You’re my best friend, I have to have at least one picture of you to prove you were here.” He downs the bourbon shot. “See I didn’t drink it before you came back.” You shake your head. “Mum said she wants one of us too, since your mum couldn’t make it.” He pauses, “How is she by the way?” He takes another bite of the pastry. “She’s… she’s doing okay. Doctors say she’s recovering well. She practically forced me out, I know she’s okay but, can’t help but worry.” He presses his lips together, a hopeful look on his face.

“Well, they said she’s doing fine. Can’t be stressed out on my day, I mean you orchestrated this whole thing.”

“I orchestrated it?” He nods, slipping on his jacket.

“I mean, you set me up with Luce, I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to repay you. You’re really are an angel.” He jokes. You fake a laugh, making sure it’s believable. “Firstly, don’t use the word orchestrated. Makes it feel like I did something evil. And two, if you weren’t compatible it wouldn’t have worked out. I’m glad you found someone. Even if I did most of the work.” You tease him.

“You’re the best.” He smiles down at you, before a snap, interrupts the two of you.

“I told you to turn your sound off.”

“I thought it was,” you turn, seeing a photographer, along with Gemma and Anne.

“Hi,” you greet them.

“You look so pretty Y/N,” Anne compliments you, walking over for a hug.

“I mean, nothing compared to you.” You reply, looking at the older beauty.

“Come off it Y/N, I’m getting old.” You shake your head.

“Still the best looking in the room, no offence Gem.”

“S’fine. Now c’mon I want a family picture with the idiot.” She walks over; standing beside her brother. “Hey!” Harry whines. You move away from Anne’s grip, before she pulls you back. “Your family too Y/N,” she tells you firmly. Wrapping an arm around your waist.

-

You watch as Harry and a few of his extended wedding party take pictures.

“Can’t believe he’s marrying her.” You turn, seeing Niall, one of his Uni mates holding out a shot for you.

“Huh?” You take it.

“I dunno, just never expected them to be this serious.” He downs it, you following after.

“They’re great for each other.”

“Yeah? How would you know. You’ve been MIA for the past year.” He pours himself another drink.

“My mum’s been ill Niall.” He sighs, taking the shot in his hand.

“Sorry. I heard, but I thought she was better.”

“She is now, that’s what the doctors are saying.” He nods, before sighing again.

“If I’m honest. I thought it would be you and him getting married eventually. One of you realising you’re in love with the other, the other realising it too. That cheesy romcom shit.” You let out a laugh. Shaking your head.

“Sorry Ni, life isn’t a romcom.”

“She’s like a parasite. I can’t believe he can’t see it. I said I’d be one of his groomsmen cause I’m his mate and all, but if we’re honest. I can’t stand the girl. She was nice at first but he’s totally different with her.”

“How much have you had to drink?” You knit your brows together.

“Not enough. I’m Irish remember.” You both chuckle. “How much do you wanna bet for me to interrupt it?”

“You’re not gonna do that Niall.”

“C’mon. We’d both be saving him a lot of money.” You shake your head, looking him in the eyes.

“It’s not going to happen Niall, just let it be.”

“Let what be?” You turn, Harry stands behind you, a confused look on his face.

“I asked her out, she said it’ll make the friendship weird if we broke up.” Niall flawlessly lies.

“You two together?” Harry looks at the two of your strangely.

“Yeah, been trying to get a date out of his one for ages. M’not giving up.” He stands up, placing his hand around your waist. Harry shakes his head. “You’re joking right?”

“No?” He knits his brows together in confusion.

“Oh-Kay.” He lets out, before the event planner comes up to us.

“People are entering the church. You two are needed in 10. Guests preferably before that.” She says before storming off. You brush off her attitude, putting down your shot glass.

“That’s my queue. Good luck up there.” You out on a smile, before leaving the two of them.

“Wait.” Harry stops you. You turn around, finally seeing nervousness on his face.

“What’s up?” He looks around you before landing on your face.

“I’m doing the right thing… right?” You swallow. Bite the bullet.

“If it’s what you want, it’s the right thing.” You speak before you can allow the words to settle on your tongue. It’s what’s right. He’s got this far. He should marry her.

“Really?” He holds your hand in his. They’re slightly sweaty but you ignore it. You feel your throat tighten, as well as your heart. Just pretend. You’ve gotten this far.

“It’s your life Harry. I’m not going to decide for you. You know what to do. Whatever it is, I’ll be happy for you.” You feel your eyes start to water, as you let go of his hands.

“Thanks y/n,” he says, clearing his throat.

-

You take your seat, biting your lip. Each passing minute taking a chip at your heart.

The look on his face as he stands at the alter, an excited smile pointed at you, one of pride and joy.

The look on his face when her bridesmaids walk in, nervousness.

The look on his face when she finally makes an appearance. Pure love and adoration.

You blink away the water threatening to spill from your eyes. You zone out, your body overwhelmed with the sinking feeling of regret. You bite your lip as he reads out his vows, passion in his eyes as he recites the words to her. Chanting like a mantra. Your eyes meet Tom’s, before looking away.

You had soo many chances to tell him and you ran away like a coward.

This is your cosmic punishment.

You barely register the couple’s first kiss as a vibration from your voice takes you away from the moment.

You had 4 missed calls from your brother, and 3 texts.

The last causing your heart to sink.

‘Y/N please… answer.’ 1 hour ago

‘She’s relapsing.’ 45 minutes ago

‘… she’s gone.’ 2 minutes ago

[janetbrown711]

4) “I’m too sober for this.” Dewey (I’m interested where you’d take this lmao)

Webby walked into the room of the poker game and saw what could only be described as the most intense game of poker she had ever seen in her life. a little bit of a crowd had gathered to watch Dewey, Dante, Donald, and a lil bulb were all sharing untrusting glances to one another. On top of that, they were all wearing green visors and some even wore shades. In the middle of the table was a pile of chips, a shirt, another visor, a coupon for free frozen yogurt, and a bag of beef jerky. It seemed like everyone really wanted that stuff though, as everyone keeping their cards very close. They didn’t even bother to break their glances when Webby entered the room.

“Soo... who’s winning?” Webby asked as she pulled up a chair to observe.

“We’re trying to break a four-way tie,” Dewey explained briefly.

“Donald’s one?” She asked. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe in him, but it’s a game of lying and luck and Donald wasn’t exactly an expert on either of those activities.

“He won by default. We all had to go to the rehearsal for the rehearsal dinner, which you somehow didn’t show up to, and he claimed victory. We kinda just let it slide,” Dewey said. That made sense.

“I fold,” Donald sighed at that comment and set his cards face down on the table. The lil’ bulb did the same, but Dante and Dewey kept glances of distrust, both trying to read the other's mind.

“All in,” Dewey said, pushing all his chips in and causing the others to gasp at his bravery.

“Fine, all in as well,” Dante smirked back. Webby had no idea what was going on since she had only ever pretended to know how to play poker. She figured his confidence was a bad thing though if she was routing for Dewey.

Slowly, Dewey revealed in his hand a pair of queens. Everyone in the room gasped and looked to

Dante who, stone-cold, turned over his hand to reveal...

A pair of aces.

The crowd went wild and started shouting and celebrating as Dante collected his prize.

“Sorry for this, you all have been nothing if not kind, but rules are rules,” He smirked. Donald muttered under his breath and walked out to get some air. The lil’ bulb shook his fist and probably said something devastating if anyone knew their language.

“You suck,” Dewey said.

“That’s just how I work Amigo,” Dante put his prize money and other possessions into his bag that

Webby recognized from their adventures where they would run into the parrot.

“So... Dante... What’re you doing here?” Webby asked, forcing a smile but gave an annoyed look to Dewey

“Oh, did Dewey not tell you ahead of time?” Dante asked, before shaking his head and chuckling,

“Of course he didn’t. I’m his plus one, and his boyfriend.”

“Hm, a plus one he didn’t rsvp for. Where have I heard this before?” Webby asked rhetorically.

“A sweet sixteen does not need an rsvp for me to bring a couple of friends. It wasn’t even that big of a deal,” Dewey rolled his eyes and took a sip of the gin and tonic that sat next to his cards. “I’m too sober for this,” he muttered under his breath.

“That I can tell,” Dante teased. “Forgive me Webbigail, for my unexpected arrival. I did not know he didn’t tell you.”

Webby sighed, “It’s alright. We made sure we had extra food ordered if such an occasion occurred. The more the merrier, am I right?” Webby and Dante laughed.

“I couldn’t agree more,” Dante said. Dewey muttered something under his breath, but Webby didn’t take it for much since he was being a sore loser.

“So, what’re you guys going to do next?” Webby asked.

“Probably get stupid drunk before the rehearsal dinner and cause a huge scene,” Dewey chuckled.

“Don’t even joke about that,” Webby pointed at him.

“Okay, okay, geez, I get it,” Dewey raised his hands in defense. “Perfect wedding, don’t be drunk, blah blah blah.”

“Forgive him, he’s drunk but not drunk enough to be likable yet,” Dante stated, which made Webby do the same.

“We still love you Dewey, even if you’re a sore loser,” she patted Dewey’s head.

“I am the most handsome duck brother,” Dewey regained his cockiness.

“Whatever you say, bud. I’m gonna head out to the bar. See you too tonight, and I swear to god if you all cause a scene at tonight's dinner or god forbid the wedding I will strangle you. And if not I, then my scary college roommate Amber,” Webby threatened the both of them.

“Who’s Amber?” Dante asked.

“That’s classified. All you need to know is that she’s a bridesmaid and can and will kill you if I say so. I’m watching you two,” Webby eyed both of them before leaving the room and to the bar, where Lena, Huey and Violet waved her over from their table.

“So how’d the game end? Who won?” Lena asked.

“Dante, though I think it was a close call,” Webby recalled.

“Alright losers pay up,” Lena smirked as Violet and Huey both paid her ten bucks each.

“You guys running bets over here?” Webby raised an eyebrow.

“Oh yes. It’s a very fun way to keep things exciting and engaging,” Violet said.

“How many bets do you guys have going on?” Webby asked with curiosity.

“Mm.. I’d say twelve,” Huey had to think about it.

“Twelve? What’re they on?” Webby was now extremely curious.

“Whether or not Dante is gonna cause Dewey to do something stupid before or after the wedding ceremony, if you were going to show up today, how many 20 dollar bills Gladstone’ll find, how many times Donald will trip today, if Della will “della” Dante in the face when she finds out he’s dating Dewey and he didn’t tell her, whether Dante is secretly evil because to quote Violet, ‘no one is that muscular without a reason-unless you’re LP-,’ if scrooge’ll cry, if someone will crash the wedding, if anyone will object, if the shrimp sucks, if Boyd is gonna crash, and if you and Louie forget to bring forks when you slice the cake so you two will just end up smashing and smearing it all over each other’s faces,” Huey read off a list on his phone.

“Wow, you really weren’t kidding when you said this was the gossip corner Lena,” Webby had to laugh.

“We like to think we’re having fun,” Violet smirked.

“Okay, but seriously, who is Dante? I’ve never seen or heard of him before ever,” Huey looked to Webby.

“He’s just some guy we take on adventures for help every once in a while when we’re in South America. I don’t know how he and Dewey got so close, I guess they just did. He’s really helpful though,” Webby shrugged.

“I think that’s suspicious,” Huey squinted.

“I think you’re a paranoid older brother,” Webby pointed out.

“Maybe, but I got a hunch,” Huey drank his scotch.

“You do you,” Lena sided with Webby.

“Well either way, I’m excited to see how this all turns out. A lot could happen in the space of two days. For all we know, all of that and more could happen,” Webby pointed out.

“True. You never can tell what the Duck family will do next,” Violet agreed. “At most weddings, you never know who the wild card will be, but the Duck family is just a whole deck of wild cards. Needless to say, I’m curious to see how this’ll turn out too.”

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

[agent-kihyun]

Plus One [chw]

Pairing: Hyungwon x Fem!reader

Words: 4.5K

Warnings: SOFTNESS, ROMANCE, LOVE, CHEESY LOVE lmao fr tho it's just soft

A/N: so after a long hiatus i am finally back and better than ever. Here is my first Monsta X fic and it’s for Hyungwon! I don’t see enough love for him on this site and I decided to write something for him in hopes that other Hyungwon stans find something new. Hope you enjoy <3

Weddings. Probably one of your favorite events to attend. To say that you loved love was an understatement. Unfortunately, you didn’t get many opportunities to go to weddings seeing as most of your friends were also still in college and broke like you were.

So when you received an ornately decorated ivory and gold envelope in your mail today, you were excited, to say the least. You practically shredded the thing open just to make sure you weren’t dreaming.

You furiously pulled the card out and there, in beautiful gold script, sat the words ��save the date!” You read the words several times over before realizing that, hey, your cousin was getting married! You squealed in excitement, jumping up on the couch before plopping down to sit.

“About damn time,” you muttered before picking up your phone. You immediately dialed your cousin’s number to congratulate him.

The minute you hung up, your best friend walked through the door, not prepared to deal with your giddy attitude.

Hyungwon didn’t hate social settings. He just preferred to stay at home where he had access to his favorite foods, shows and movies, and his bed. Often times you would drag him out to small outings with your mutual friends, but he never disliked it, because he was with you. And as long as you were by his side, he liked going out a little more than usual.

When he spotted you on the couch, giggly and smiley, he was baffled.

“What’s got you all excited? Did you pass your test?” He asked with a small smile as he pocketed his key to your apartment (which you gave him).

“I did! But that’s not why I'm happy!” You exclaimed.

“So? What’s the reason?” He pushed.

“I got invited to my cousin’s wedding!” You yelled with glee. You shoved the invitation into Hyungwon’s face as you danced around the living room singing Bruno Mars’ “Marry You”.

“Hey hey! Pipe down, you’re gonna piss your neighbors off and then you’re gonna have to live with me,” Hyungwon chuckled before looking back at the invitation.

“I’m finally gonna be able to go to a wedding! I’m so excited!” You sighed dreamily.

“Well I’m happy you’re happy,” Hyungwon said as he handed you your invitation and sat on your couch beside you. “Do you mind if I take a nap? I’m exhausted.”

“You always come here to take naps,” you laugh.

“Because your couch is comfy, and you’re a real nice human pillow,” Hyungwon gave you a crooked grin.

“Fine whatever. Take your nap.” You said playfully and continued to re-read your invitation until you came across words you hadn’t noticed before.

“You are allowed to bring a plus one. Check in either box below to confirm you will bring someone along.”

“A plus one?” You said, puzzled. You were sure your cousin knew you weren’t dating, so why would he give you a plus one?

“Hm,” you hummed before glancing over at a knocked out Hyungwon, his baseball cap slightly covering his face so you wouldn’t catch a glimpse of his sleeping face.

You’d have to ask him once he woke up. Disturbing his sleep could only result in your demise.

6 months later

You glanced in the mirror at your reflection, somewhat satisfied by your appearance. Something was missing but you didn’t quite know what. You searched your room for the finishing touch, all while trying to figure out what it was that you were looking for.

Hyungwon had knocked on your door for the third time in the past 5 minutes, glancing at his watch to check on the time. Eventually, he grew tired of waiting for you to answer his door and used his key to come in.

“Y/N!” He called when he came into your apartment. No answer.

You could hear Hyungwon’s voice from your living room, just as you finished putting the necklace your mother gave you for your 18th birthday. You grabbed your phone and clutch before opening and closing your bedroom door and walking out to meet Hyungwon in the living room.

Time seemed to come to a near stop as the two of you laid eyes on each other. Hyungwon was speechless, to say the least. There was always that voice at the back of his head that told him you were gorgeous, but to avoid falling for you he pushed it away, instead, deeming you incredibly average. However now he couldn’t push it away. Now the fact was sitting right in front of him.

You had seen Hyungwon in a suit several times before this moment. Whether it be high school graduation or interviews or important events, you’d seen him in a suit. But this was different. Maybe it was because his hair was a tad bit longer, a sort of pseudo-mullet, and it was clear he styled it a bit. Or maybe it was because his suit was more form-fitting and clung to him so that you could see the outlines of his arms, legs, and torso. Or maybe it was just how flawless and put together your usually sleepy and sarcastic best friend looked. You couldn’t quite pin it down.

You were the first to say something.

“Hyungwon,” You exhaled his name.

“Y/N...you look...phenomenal,” his lips quirked up in a small smile.

You returned the smile and walked over to him, tossing your phone and clutch on your couch. You dusted off Hyungwon’s jacket and straightened his tie a bit.

“You clean up pretty well yourself, Chae Hyungwon,” you grinned, avoiding looking into his pretty brown eyes. You knew you’d be done for if you did so.

“Thanks. Are you ready?” He asked. You nodded in response and finally looked up at him.

Oh shit. This was going to be a long day.

The wedding ceremony was outdoors, which was a great idea since it was such a beautiful day. It was set near a lake, in a slightly wooded area but still open enough that you could catch a glimpse of the beautiful blue sky. It wasn’t too hot, nor too cold, quite literally the perfect day for a wedding.

Upon your arrival, some of your cousin’s friends were asking to see invitations. You showed them your invitation and led Hyungwon into the seating area to take your seats.

“Wow, they really went all out,” Hyungwon leaned down and said quietly into your ear.

“Trust me I'm equally as surprised about how incredible this is,” you said back and took your seat, Hyungwon sliding in to sit next to you. He looked around at the area, noticing how incredibly beautiful everything was and mentally noted that he would have to come back to this location on his own time. Maybe with you again.

As his eyes wandered the area, he began to notice people staring at him (mostly women), which he found odd. He nudged you twice and you looked up from your phone at him in confusion.

“What? Is something wrong?” You asked him.

“All these people are staring at me,” he whispered to you. You looked around at all the women who were staring at Hyungwon, now looking away upon realizing that you were looking at them. You chuckled when you figured out what was going on.

“I think they just think you’re hot,” you smiled at him before looking back at your phone. Hyungwon raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“You think I’m hot?” He asked with a small smirk.

“I didn’t say that. I just said that they think you’re hot. I didn’t say I did,” you scoffed amusedly at him. Hyungwon jokingly pouted, but truth be told that he did feel more confident now knowing that all these random people thought he was handsome.

“You think I should try my luck?” He joked. You stopped whatever you were doing on your phone to make full eye contact with him.

“I didn’t realize you were into older women and...teenagers, Hyungwon,” you double-checked who exactly was looking at Hyungwon before raising your eyebrow at him.

“Hey hey! I was kidding!” Hyungwon laughed. You rolled your eyes and gave him a playful scowl. The two of you continued your usual witty banter and sarcastic jokes until more people started taking their seats and the ceremony began.

“Oh shhh, the ceremony is starting,” you repeatedly excitedly hit Hyungwon. You didn’t notice the fond smile he sent your way as you watched the aisle for the bridesmaids. A soft song [not the bridal march] began to play and one by one the bridesmaids began to walk down the aisle.

You watched in wonder as the beautiful friends of your cousin’s fiancée walked toward the altar gracefully, like swans. Hyungwon watched as well, but in the back of his mind, a voice was shouting at him that you were far more stunning any of the women in the area.

And then suddenly a feeling of absolute, unadulterated bliss filled the air as the sun shone perfectly right as the bride and her father started to walk down the aisle. Your eyes lit up in wonder as you watched her glide past you, and you hoped one day that could be you.

Hyungwon missed the moment entirely, for his vision was entirely focused on you, that same fond smile aimed at you. The way your eyes captured the sunlight perfectly, your wide grin, the happiness he felt radiating off of you, it all warmed his heart. Looking at you at that very moment, he realized how he truly felt about you for all those years. Because one thing was for sure: if the bride was supposed to be the most beautiful one in the room, but he found you more beautiful, it was clear how he really felt about you.

The ceremony went smoothly, but the minute vows were being read, sniffles could be heard all over the area. You didn’t cry but found yourself reflecting and thinking about what your cousin and his wife-to-be had said to each other. You were in such deep thought, you hadn’t realized that Hyungwon brushed his hand against yours to see if you would hold his hand. That was what brought you back down to earth. You looked up at him and looked down at your hands next to one another before giving him a small smile and interlocking your fingers with his. You both looked back at the ceremony just as the priest said the important words

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Cheers and applause erupted from everyone, and both you and hyungwon let go for a split second to clap but went back to holding hands moments after. Your cousin and his wife broke away and excitedly ran down the aisle, away from the altar and to their car. Many people followed them, but you hung back with Hyungwon.

“That was so...I don’t know how to explain it,” you looked up at him, the same smile you’ve been holding the whole ceremony still on your face. “My face hurts from smiling so much.”

Hyungwon laughed and he had an idea to help you stop smiling, but was unsure of himself so he decided against it. Instead, with one hand, he squished your cheeks so your lips were puckered.

“Does that help?” He asked, an eyebrow raised.

Your heart nearly stopped beating at the scene in front of you. It felt like you were in a movie, with the lighting, how close Hyungwon was to you, just everything about what was going on. You nodded slowly in response and Hyungwon let go of your face.

“We better get going to the reception,” you looked down and started walking towards where Hyungwon’s car was parked. Hyungwon watched as you walked to his car and sighed, frustrated that he let another moment slip between his fingers. Literally.

He followed you to his car and soon the two of you were on your way to the reception, the car-ride silent the whole time. It wasn’t a bad thing, necessarily. Both of you were lost in your thoughts, contemplating the events of the day and most definitely contemplating each other. Not to mention, there was surprisingly nothing you had to say to one another.

When you finally got to the reception venue, Hyungwon, in a gentlemanly manner, held open your car door as you got out and closed it for you. Then you both walked inside the lavish hotel and found your way to the ballroom.

Before you stepped inside, Hyungwon impulsively grabbed your hand to hold once more. You were surprised but didn’t let it show and simply didn’t retract your hand. The two looked at each other, anxiety evident in both pairs of eyes. You took a deep breath and opened the doors to...well...an actual ballroom. High ceilings with chandeliers complete with grand staircases and a marble floor took your breath away. You made a mental note to ask your cousin how much this cost.

As you walked into the ballroom and down the stairs, several pairs of eyes fixated on the two of you while you searched for your table on the main floor. You were almost positive that they were staring at Hyungwon more so than yourself, but alas, you were wrong, for they were staring at the two of you together.

Eventually, you found your table and sat down together, the attention finally off of you.

“I’m hungry,” Hyungwon noted.

“Me too. I can’t wait to eat,” you rubbed your hands together excitedly. Hyungwon laughed, knowing that you liked to eat almost as much--if not--exactly as much as he did.

“I hope your cousin has good taste in food,” Hyungwon glanced around in search of the man himself.

“Speak of the devil,” you gestured to the opening doors where your cousin and his new wife came through, holding hands. Everyone began to cheer and whistle for them as they descended the stairs while you and hyungwon stood and applauded.

The bride and groom took their seats and the wedding party was introduced and a brief speech was given by your cousin. Then, the bride and groom had their first dance, and after that, the bride and her father. It was a beautiful moment, truthfully you were happy for your cousin, but you had zoned out and missed everything because you were thinking about Hyungwon while staring in the direction of the dance floor. Fortunately, he was paying attention to the dancing and had no idea that you looked like a zombie just staring at the floor. When the dancing ended, Hyungwon nudged you, snapping you out of it.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Oh yeah, I just got lost in my thoughts is all,” you waved it off.

“Okay, well...dinner is gonna be served now right?” Hyungwon asked.

You laughed and nodded, “I think so. Why? Are you hungry?”

“Starving,” Hyungwon patted his stomach, “I wonder what they’re serving.”

“I don’t know, but I have a feeling it’ll be something with chicken,” you guessed, knowing that your cousin really liked chicken dishes.

“If Kihyun were here, he’d be excited for that,” Hyungwon chuckled, a sound that you could listen to forever.

“Yeah, he does love chicken,” you agreed with a nervous laugh, to which Hyungwon became confused at, but shook it off. Eventually, the food came out and you and Hyungwon dug in, occasionally conversing while waiting for the next course to be served. When the two of you finished your meals, Hyungwon sat back, hands on his stomach as he threw his head back and groaned. You nearly had a heart attack on the spot but you contained yourself.

“Damn that was delicious. Next time I see Kihyun, I’ll tell him that this meal is better than anything he’s made. Wanna get a rise out of him,” Hyungwon laughed before clearing his throat and turning to you, “so when is dessert?”

You stared at Hyungwon anxiously, then looked down at the table cloth as if it was going to give you the answer.

“Uh, hello? Earth to Y/N?” Hyungwon waved at you, causing you to look back up at him.

“Hm? What’s up?” you feigned having not heard him.

“I asked you when dessert was and you completely ignored me, are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m okay, sorry I was...daydreaming and I didn’t hear you,” you lied.

“Well get out of your head, when is dessert? When will we get to eat that massive cake over in the corner of the ballroom?” Hyungwon nudged you.

“Uh...I think it’s after the toasts...we might be waiting a while to be honest,” you told him.

“Damn,” Hyungwon cursed, so you decided to finally break out your secret stash of cookies you put in your purse before you left for the wedding. You hoped they weren’t smushed, that would’ve defeated the whole purpose.

“Do not fear, cookie bag is here!” you cheered as you pulled out a sandwich bag filled with variations of cookies: chocolate chip, Oreos, sugar and peanut butter.

“Holy shit, you came prepared,” Hyungwon grinned.

“I had a feeling this would happen, so I packed this bag just in case,” you said while handing over the bag, “when I went to a wedding as a kid, my mom did this for me and I figured it would be a good idea.”

Hyungwon plucked out two Oreos and a chocolate chip cookie, munching happily on his treats.

“Y/N, I love you,” he said before eating another cookie. Your heart did flips, but all you did was offer him a nervous smile.

“Love you too,” you mumbled. Hyungwon gave you the bag back just in time for the toasts. Those flew by quickly and soon it was time to dance. Most everyone got up, but you stayed seated with Hyungwon. You knew he wanted to dance, he was a dancer after all (in addition to being a model, yes), but you didn’t consider yourself the dancing type (even though you could dance okay).

Hyungwon glanced at you, finding you wringing your hands anxiously. He placed a hand over yours and gave you a soft smile.

“We don’t have to dance if you don’t want to,” he told you.

“No! No, we have to, I just…don't really like this song,” you lied.

“You don’t like...Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars? Shownu would be so disappointed,” hyungwon smirked.

“Shut up,” you laughed, “okay I’ll dance, but I’m warning you it’s not gonna look pretty.”

“I don’t care,” Hyungwon said as he stood up, offering you his hand. You gave him a small smile and took his hand. He practically yanked you out of your chair and dragged you to the dance floor, then began to dance. You awkwardly began to side-step to the beat, playing it safe, but a grooving Hyungwon wasn’t having it and grabbed your hands to help you get out of your comfort zone. You gave him a mildly terrified look, but he returned it with a calm smile and encouraged you to keep dancing, even if you didn’t think it was good. At some point--after a few drinks I might add--you finally let loose and were dancing with Hyungwon without a care in the world. As he watched you move, he couldn’t help but smile, thinking your dancing was the cutest thing. You were half dancing, half just wiggling around, but he gave you an A for effort.

After a couple of more upbeat songs, including but not limited to Footloose, Happy, September, and Moves Like Jagger (which Hyungwon completely ate up), the two of you decided to take a break. Hyungwon escaped to the bathroom and you got some water.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t my little cousin, Y/N,” you heard your cousin’s voice behind you. You whipped around and beamed at the man of the hour.

“C/N! Oh my god, congratulations!” you enveloped him in a hug. He hugged you back and the two of you began to chat as you walked back to your table.

“So...I see you did bring a plus one,” your cousin changed the subject.

“Yeah, I did,” you said fondly.

“Is he your boyfriend?”

“What? No, no! C/N, it’s Hyungwon! You know, my best friend since high school you’ve met him a few times,” you reminded your family member.

“Oh, that scrawny kid?” C/N replied.

“He’s not scrawny,” you defended your best friend.

“Okay okay,” your cousin backed off, “so you two are just friends.”

“Yeah...we are,” you confirmed, but your cousin was able to pick up the slight disappointment in your voice.

“Do you like him?” he asked.

“What? Oh my god, no!” you exclaimed before taking a large gulp of water.

“Y/N…,” your cousin said your name as if he knew the truth. You turned to him with a nervous expression, once again wringing your fingers out of habit. Your cousin shook his head and gave you a small smile.

“You really didn’t think I wouldn’t notice? I know what love looks like, I literally just got married. I can see how you look at him, you dork. Why don’t you tell him?” your cousin slightly teased you.

“C/N, it’s just...complicated. Hyungwon has been in my life for years, we’ve established a solid friendship and it works! If I tell him how I feel, that could go away like this,” you snapped your fingers, “and then I’d lose him.”

“Do you know why Hyungwon said yes to being your plus one?” your cousin suddenly asked. You blinked at him a few times, trying to come up with an answer.

“Because I’m his best friend and he can’t say no to me?” you tried. You truly didn’t know, though. You reminded yourself that Hyungwon wasn’t a big socialite, so why would he say yes to a wedding with people he didn’t know?

“Y/N, when someone invites you to a wedding, it usually means they like you and want to spend time with you. A wedding is romantic and intimate. You knew that when you invited him,” your cousin told you, to which you slightly rolled your eyes. He was right, you knew that.

“If he accepted, maybe it’s because he wanted to spend time with you as well, in a romantic setting,” your cousin suggested. You sighed, not really believing your cousin.

“C/N, don’t give me false hope. I don’t think he likes me like that,” you crossed your arms.

“Okay fine, don’t believe me, but here’s something you should know. If you don’t tell him soon, he could slip through your fingers and find someone else. Take it from someone who almost lost my own wife like that. You don’t know what could happen, but it could be good,” your cousin gave you a hopeful smile. You tried not to smile, but couldn’t help yourself, for even the thought of Hyungwon easily brought a smile to your lips.

“I’ll consider it,” you told your cousin, to which he pumped his fist and said  “Yessss”. Suddenly, a slower, more romantic song began to play and your cousin stood up.

“Now if you excuse me, I need to go find my wife for this song. Good luck, Y/N,” your cousin waved as he left you. You looked down for a split second, but as soon as you looked up, Hyungwon, in all of his glory, was standing in front of you, hand held out for you to take. His facial expression was one of adoration, which made your heart beat faster. You took his hand and he led you to the dance floor, where various couples were swaying to the song. The melodies played your heartstrings like a harp, they carried your soul to cloud nine.

Hyungwon placed one hand on your back and the other held your other hand. You put your hand on his shoulder and the two of you joined the other couples in dancing.

You found it difficult to maintain eye contact with Hyungwon, so you kept looking off to the side or down. Hyungwon wanted you to look at him but he figured you were nervous and let you glance around. He really got to study you in this time, taking in your appearance, illuminated by the light of the chandelier and candles in the ballroom. His heart was doing flips by the second, just being so close to you. He wanted to say something, but his words were caught in his throat.

At some point, you put your head against his shoulder, a small smile on your lips. All of the nervous energy that you and Hyungwon carried dissipated as the music relaxed you. The song went right into another slow song, and you changed positions, wrapping your arms loosely around Hyungwon’s neck. He put both his hands on your waist and this time, you managed to make eye contact for a bit longer.

Once more, you put your head against his shoulder, your hands coming down to rest on his chest. Hyungwon, feeling rather sentimental, decided to take action.

He leaned down a bit and very delicately whispered three words that made your heart implode:

“I love you.”

You looked up at him in surprise, but you weren’t sure if that was supposed to be a friendly “I love you” like he said when you took out your cookies or if it meant more.

“You mean...like a best friend type of ‘I love you’?” you whispered.

“I mean this type of ‘I love you’,” he said and before you knew what was happening, Hyungwon leaned down and captured your lips in a soft kiss. It was magical, so much so that it was hard not to smile into the kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck to bring him closer, while he wrapped his own arms around your figure, the two of you completely halting your dancing. A few other people were surprised, but kept swaying, while your cousin, who spotted the gesture from across the dance floor, smiled in approval.

When you and Hyungwon broke away, you pressed your forehead against his, trying to catch your breath. You laughed softly, happy that your feelings were returned.

“I love you too,” you whispered back. Hyungwon smiled widely before going in for another kiss, not being able to get enough of you. He had waited long enough, he wanted the feeling and taste of your lips against his ingrained in his brain forever.

The song changed to Maroon 5’s Sugar, causing you and Hyungwon to break apart to dance with one another again. You made a mental note to thank your cousin for his advice.

Needless to say, you were glad Hyungwon accepted your invitation to your cousin’s wedding.

[fandomlit]

we only see each other at weddings and funerals (ben hargreeves x reader)

requested by anon “I’m so happy you write for TUA! Can I have a one-shot with Ben (AU where he’s alive!) based on the title of episode 1, “We Only See Each Other At Weddings and Funerals”? Just like her interacting with the siblings at Reginald’s funeral and stuff. Thank youu!”

summary reginald hargreeves has finally passed away, and his “kids” are returning home for the funeral. ben takes you with him, assuming it was just a simple catch up and funeral. neither of you expected the chaos that ensued.

a/n love this request btw + this is kinda long but hey i love ben

gif cred belongs to @diegchargreeves

you and ben stood before the academy in the rain, hand in hand. you were ready to go in, face the past you hadn’t lived. but he stayed put. 

“hey,” you spoke softly and he turned to you. the sight of your calm expression even through the raging storm outside brought him out of his memories. “he’s gone, okay? that’s why we’re here.”

he nodded slowly, then surely, looking back to the academy. “yeah. it just... i was hoping this whole place would go with him.” you barked out a laugh.

“we don’t all get what we want, honey,” you said, reaching up your free hand to rub his arm. he smiled down at you. you nodded toward the mansion, “let’s go in, okay?”

he sighed, “okay.”

you had expected it to be pogo at the door with a polite greeting, but instead you were met with a cheerful klaus. “my favorite lovebirds!”

you laughed as he pulled you both into a tight hug. he smelled faintly of alcohol, but that wasn’t surprising at all.

“it’s been so long,” he said emotionally when he pulled away, one hand on your shoulder and the other on ben’s.

“we saw you two weeks ago,” ben said, shaking his head.

“that’s two weeks too long!” he exclaimed. you grinned, exchanging a look with ben. “anyway, you two are freezing! let’s get you warm.” klaus wedged himself between you two, slinging his arms around your shoulders and guiding you to the kitchen and beginning to babble about anything and everything.

“y/n?” a voice called out quietly. you turned your head and saw vanya standing away to your right. you grinned.

“i’ll be right back, klaus, okay?” you hummed.

“oh sure, sure,” he waved off as you slipped out of his grasp, continuing to talk ben’s hear off. said boy gave you a look.

“i’ll be right back,” you mouthed before turning and jogging to your best friend. you two immediately hugged tightly with bright smiles.

“how have you been?” you asked softly when you pulled away, sliding your hands down to grip her arms.

she shrugged, “the man who’s haunted my life just died, my siblings all hate me because of a book i wrote about my awful childhood...” she took a breath. “let’s just say it’s way better now that you’re here.”

you gave her a sympathetic grin. “it’ll get better, hun. now that reginald’s gone so much will be put to rest.”

she nodded, “yeah. but enough about me. how have you been?”

“dandy,” you said, your smile widening. “im gonna get you a boyfriend soon, because having someone is the best thing ever. it’s amazing to wake up to someone you love every day of your life.”

“im so incredibly happy for you both,” she said honestly. “you both deserve it.”

“thank you,” you breathed. “wanna come to the kitchen? i think ben may be getting a headache by now.”

she chuckled, moving to wrap an around around your waist. you did the same as she said, “so do you get telepathic powers after marriage or what?”

you laughed. “it feels that way sometimes.”

ben was sitting at the counter, looking tired already, but still attentive as klaus was turned around, making some kind of hot drink for you two. he was still talking.

you slid next to ben and he was quick to put his arm around your shoulder and whisper into your ear, “i thought you’d never come back.”

you giggled quietly as vanya went to help klaus, which he attempted to reject. “now this isn’t so bad, is it? your brother may be a little tipsy, but he’s still here and excited to see you. and vanya’s a little iffy on being here, but she’s doing alright.”

he shook his head with a sigh. “just wait until the service. diego and luther will find something to fight about. i know it.”

you rolled your eyes. 

as you all conversed at the table with your drinks, you caught a glance of a certain knife thrower that made you jump up. “diego!”

the man stopped and turned to you, giving you a polite smile, “hello, y/n,” he waved to ben as you came running up, “ben.” ben returned the small wave as you pulled the taller male into a hug, and he gave you a kiss on the cheek as you pulled away.

they couldn’t hear what you were talking about, but you both seemed happy.

“remember when diego liked her?” klaus piped up. ben chuckled and vanya snorted. “never took you as the jealous type, benny.”

ben rolled his eyes. “i was not jealous.”

vanya laughed as klaus exclaimed, “you’re kidding me! that was the week i realized you had more than one monster in you, ben.” ben have him a confused look. “a big, fat green one that yelled, ‘mine!’ every time diego made her laugh.” vanya laughed harder and ben reached over and hit klaus on the shoulder as you came back over.

“what’d i miss?” you breathed as you sat down, lifting up your mug. but ben tilted your chin towards him and kissed you before you could take a sip.

“aw,” klaus cooed. “where’s my kiss, benny? i am the one who got you two together, after all.”

ben shook his head, pulling you into his side. “we don’t talk about that.”

and then five came back.

you probably weren’t in as much shock as you should’ve been. but it was a while before he even acknowledged you.

“y/n?” he questioned, almost unbelieving. you were standing between klaus and ben, significantly shorter than the two.

you smiled, chuckling, “so you do remember me! i was scared you didn’t and that’s why you didn’t say anything.”

he scoffed. “how could i forget the girl next door?”

you smiled. “pretty easily, i’d say. but im honored.”

pogo gave you a polite smile when he found you before you all went out to the courtyard.

“it’s so lovely to see you again, miss y/n,” he said.

“you too, pogo,” you smiled. “im so sorry about reginald.”

“it’s quite alright,” he sighed. “it was bound to happen eventually. im just happy everyone came.”

you nodded as ben hooked his arm in yours and said, “ready?”

“are you?” you asked.

he shrugged. “as i’ll ever be.”

pogo gave his speech when everyone else refused to speak up, and then diego interrupted him, and then luther interrupted him, and then ben gave you a knowing look, and the cycle went on.

“remember what he did to klaus?!” diego yelled over luther’s cracking composure. “remember how he locked him in that mausoleum for hours at a time?! remember what he did to ben?! how he made him use his power, even though it was traumatizing?!”

“stop!” luther yelled.

you scooted closer into ben’s side as he took a breath. “worst part was, he didn’t even come to my wedding,” he joked tensely. you rolled your eyes as luther stopped what he was about to say and turned to the both of you.

“you’re married?” he breathed.

“you didn’t know?” ben scoffed. “i thought you got news up there in space. it was all over the headlines for a week. ‘academy freak gets hitched.’”

“that’s not what it said,” you sighed. 

“but it’s what they thought,” he muttered.

“so ben got the girl?” five asked. klaus nodded brightly. “nice one.”

“why wasn’t i invited?” luther asked lowly. 

“you were,” ben said. “but i guess dad never sent your invitation up. im guessing the same for allison.”

“ben,” you warned gently as allison took a deep breath.

“no, this has to be said, y/n,” he said to you before looking back at his siblings. you rested your head on his shoulder and closed your eyes. “thank you to the three that showed up, and five gets a damn good excuse for not coming, and i guess luther, too, but allison?” they all turned to her. “i thought out of everyone here, you’d come. especially since you still had a husband at the time.”

“ben,” you said sternly and he breathed out harshly. a tense silence ensued.

“how long have you two been together?” luther asked you later. ben had gone out to clear his head after the disaster that was the service. he had found you sitting alone in the kitchen and asked to join.

“eight years,” you smiled. his eyes widened and his eyebrows shot up. “yeah,” you laughed, “the day i graduated from college, a couple of friends and i went out after the party, and he popped the question there. best day of my life.”

he sighed. “i am so, so sorry.”

you shook your head. “it’s not your fault, luther.” you put a hand on his. “i know that, and ben knows that. yeah, we were both hurt that you didn’t come, but now we know why. that clarity is better than any wedding gift, okay?”

he nodded. “okay.” you pulled your hand back. “so how was it? what was it like?”

“beautiful. magical,” you chuckled. “klaus was ben’s best man and diego was a groomsman. vanya was my maid of honor, and allison was supposed to be a bridesmaid, but we all know how that worked out.”

luther nodded.

“but it was still amazing,” you reassured. “it was in a lovely garden we had found, and all of our amazing friends were there, and most importantly, we were happy. sure, you and allison had us down, but we weren’t gonna let some family drama get in the way of our big day. it was our moment, not the family’s.”

luther nodded again. “i am so happy for the both of you. so, so happy.”

you smiled gently. “thank you, luther.” you stood up and stretched. “im gonna hit it. thanks for the chat.”

“anytime,” he said.

you gave him a kiss on the cheek. “good night, dearest brother-in-law.”

“night.”

you had been sitting in ben’s room, reading a book you had found earlier, when he came back in.

you put the book down and made your way over to him. “you okay?”

he nodded silently before pulling you into a hug. “let’s go home.”

“okay,” you hummed. “but should we come back tomorrow? five’s back, after all.”

“yeah,” he sighed. “it’s just so.. weird.”

“what is?”

“coming back. we’re hargreeves. we only see each other at weddings and funerals.”

[incoherentbabblings]

Take Back the Cake, Burn the Shoes, and Boil the Rice (7/11)

Within two months there have been two murders of Gotham newlyweds moments after the ceremony. The only connecting factor was both brides wore the same designer’s work. Needing to establish who exactly is behind the crimes, Bruce enlists Tim and Stephanie to have the biggest wedding Gotham high society has seen in decades, putting a target on their heads not just for the killer, but Gotham society too. It goes about as well as you’d expect.

Ao3 Link Here!

“Hey…” Tim said, still lying on the floor.

“Dude!” Conner’s voice came through, exuberant. “Bart you were right! He did answer!”

Bart’s high-pitched giggle ran straight through Tim’s bones. It cut off abruptly as he processed Conner’s incredulity.

“Why do you guys always think my plans are bad?”

“Shush.” Cassie’s voice also drifted in. Tim must have been on speakerphone. “Tim… what is going on? Like… is this for real?”

“No way.” Said Conner. “You would have told us. It’s gotta be fake. Weird fake, but fake.”

“…It’s not fake.”

“Pardon?” Bart asked, being awfully polite. “Why didn’t you keep us in the loop? Or are you channeling Batman this month?”

“It had to be real. Like super real. No heroes, no nothing.”

“Bullshit, Tim.” Conner’s tone was fond, but a little exasperated. “Kara’s been on my ass about it too. Some of us have secret ids yaknow. No metas in Gotham rule aside, we could help?”

“I mean… it’s complicated. There’s a bunch of murders recently.”

Cassie sounded worried. “We saw the news the other day. You and Stephanie were shot at?”

“…Yeah. Someone’s targeting brides who wear this designer. Steph and I were trying to make ourselves the next pair on the list… the guy botched it and shot Bishop Sherborne.”

“So… once Batman catches Mr Always the Bridesmaid Never the Bride… then what?” Asked Conner. “No more wedding, I guess. Which – yikes – bud. I’ve seen the stuff online. Some people are being brutal about this whole thing. You have too many fake engagements people aren’t gonna believe a real one after that.”

Cassie piped up again. “Not to mention Steph is gonna be thrown into limbo, right?”

Tim was silent as he listened to his friends. He couldn’t explain. This is why he didn’t tell them. They weren’t doing it intentionally, but they were setting off all his alarm bells. It seemed Bart heard something in the silence that the others did not, and asked, more than a little befuddled,

“Wait… you and Steph aren’t together together for reals are you? ‘Cause, you really should have told us! Like no bachelor party? Really? No me as your best man?”

Conner sounded very affronted when he cut in, “Eh. No. That’s me.”

“You can have a girl as your best man right?” Cassie pondered. “Nowadays? I’d be good at that…”

Tim rolled onto his front, utterly depressed. “I don’t know. Know what I wanted… Know what Steph wants…”

It seemed Tim’s sadness finally clicked in the minds of his friends, and Conner lowered his tone.

“You getting your heart broken bud?”

Tim’s eyes grew wet. “I can’t help her.”

“Help her how?”

Cassie began to shoo the other two away. “Let me speak to him. One to one.”

“I can still hear the phone you know.”

“Shut up, Conner. I don’t want you and Bart butting in.”

“Rude.” Bart chirped, but did as he was told. There was shuffling, and the sound of someone being kicked, but soon enough it was just Cassie on the other side of the phone.

“Can’t help her how?” She repeated Conner’s statement, and Tim heard him huff in the distance.

“We… we both want to be together.”

“That’s…that’s good Tim. Right? So, what’s the issue?”

Tim sneered. She wasn’t making it sound good. They just wouldn’t understand, but Tim continued to try.

“But she… I thought she was in a better place. I thought I was in a better place. But the stress is getting to her. She’s tired of being judged. And that’s all I can offer her.”

Cassie was quiet but full of conviction when she responded, “I don’t believe that.”

“No but…Cassie I’ve never seen her like this. Like she’s three steps away from jumping out the window. And that’s supposed to be me. I don’t know how to show her, that she doesn’t need to be frightened. That other people don’t matter. People just aren’t coming on side, not entirely. Not even her helping Bishop Sherborne when he died was enough. And she’s losing her drive.”

“Could you…” She mused it over. “Have you got an event coming up?”

“The engagement party.”

“No, no. Something smaller. Something about your job. Something you could share with her. Show her she doesn’t need to be afraid to share a life with you. Start small to build back up confidence. Steph’s…she’s a little rough round the edges.”

“She’s from Gotham.”

“Exactly. But the more she does that sort of stuff with you, the more people will get to know her and that squidgy centre you talk about. I mean those engagement photos were beautiful.” Tim burned red. Of course, they had seen them. “And I want her red dress more than life itself, but that’s not her. Not you really either. You both do stuff outside of nightwork… do that stuff together y’know?”

Stephanie had asked him about his work. She had asked several times in fact. She had been on multiple visits to his office, watching as he went through conference calls, reports and other dry white-collar work whilst she sat with her college notes spread around her. She herself had said she was interested in what he did. Tim blinked, a plan coming together.

“…Thank you, Cassie.”

“My pleasure.” She said, sounding smug. “Is she there with you now?”

“No… we… we had an argument. She’s gone to cool off on patrol.”

Conner pinched the phone then. “Not to sound judgy, but man… she’s got a temper. And you said when she gets angry, she gets stupid.”

Defensiveness replaced depression, and Tim’s tone became a warning. “Conner.”

“I’m just saying. Think you should go find her.”

“She’s competent Kon.”

“…Sure.”

It was very difficult to not take an imagined slight to Stephanie as a slight against himself. “What’s that mean?”

“Listen, dude—”

A frantic beeping from his phone interrupted Conner. It was the distress signal of Batgirl, one that she did not ring often, or ever, and Tim’s heart stopped.

No. No. No.

“Have to go.”

“Wait –”

“It’ll be over in two weeks so bear with the radio silence.”

“Huh? Dude don’t shut us out after –”

“Bye.”

And he hung up, then rushed downstairs.

**********************************************************************

She had fallen, because if Stephanie suspected of how she would die, it would be from gravity being a bitch. Some bastard had shot at her, she had jumped to avoid it, then collapsed through the roof – rotten wooden beams giving way under her weight. She had crashed down with a horrendous smack, and likely had a concussion. Her neck had snapped in such a way that left her terrified to move her head. Her leg felt damp. Struggling, she pressed her little beacon. Someone would be on their way soon. Outside the building, she heard that man whooping in victory, trying to figure out a way in.

She was in over her head. She wasn’t paying attention. And now she was in agony on the dirty floor of some shithole in Gotham, a murderous drug lord wanting a piece of her.

Wow, she really was spiralling down.

And somehow, she couldn’t bring herself to blame Tim. He hadn’t caused these issues. He’d been honest with her, given her multiple opportunities to back out. And she had hurt him, in every manner of speaking. Even if he had been putting her under pressure… she didn’t…

She didn’t even blame Bruce, who was only trying to protect people, and entrusting his family to help him do so.

Her issues were hers and hers alone. Maybe she’d never really dealt with them, maybe she’d never really worked her way through them. Maybe she just buried it all. Ignore it, and it will go away.

She wasn’t sure how long she was left alone on the floor, safe from the man outside, but however long it was, it wasn’t enough for her to get back on her feet. Her head lolled on the ground, and she tried to push herself up. Keep moving, that’s all she had to do. She’d been through worse and coped. She only managed to get onto her hands and knees when someone grabbed her blonde hair and ripped her back, making her cry out in shock. Her neck clicked oddly. Her left leg limply dragged across the floor, leaving red streaks behind her, whilst the right spasmed, trying to get a footing so she could kick herself upright and punch the bastard, but her head injury was disorientating her beyond being of any use.

“Can’t believe it’s that easy to take out one of you lot.” The cold feel of a pistol pressed against her jaw. If fired, it wouldn’t kill her immediately. This guy wanted her to hurt.

No. She had to apologise to Tim. She had to… She had too…

She had no time to prepare a snarky comeback, because one of the family’s hook shots had rammed itself into the guys arm. He shrieked, hand dropping the gun and her hair, allowing her to roll away into the corner to get a better look at her leg.

She looked up, to see Tim, fully dressed as Red Robin amongst the rotting rafters, angrier than she had seen him in a long time.

She got caught between sharp relief and guilt. Tim had come for her. Dutiful, loyal, Tim.

Letting her head thump against the floor, Stephanie flittered in and out of consciousness.

Tim, meanwhile, had lost his temper.

He knew he was a bit overprotective of Steph. He also knew she was competent. She had been through a lot with and without him, and as Batgirl had saved Gotham multiple times over. He wasn’t a white knight coming to rescue the damsel, but something feral would be set off seeing her in danger. Didn’t matter if he was fifteen or twenty, someone hurting her, someone touching her, was enough to set him off.

It wasn’t like with Captain Boomerang, where everything was calculated, cold and methodical. Steph was hurt, Tim had the means to make the man who did it hurt.

And hurt him Tim did.

Stephanie watched most of it, not really in the right frame of mind to do anything but watch. She wanted to call for him, pull him back to her. But then she would black out for a moment. When she would reawaken, any chance at orientating herself would be lost from the view in front of her.

Bones were meant to be inside limbs, right?

Tim’s torture continued until Dick yoinked him away.

“That’s enough. Okay? Don’t make the same mistake as me.”

Dick was home? The thought was enough to cause the red to fade, and for Tim to start to catch his breath. His stomach began to drop. He’d done something stupid?

No. Where was Stephanie?

Nightwing had him held in such a grip that was designed to allow Tim to break out if he wanted, but also jolt into him some semblance of what he was doing.

Tim blinked, then wriggled out of Nightwing’s hold. His brother looked more than a little white at the scene before him. Tim’s chest was heaving, and he could feel sweat dripping off his chin. Slowly he turned to see what damage he had done, then immediately looked away. He had done something stupid. And potentially murderous. For her. Again.

Stephanie had somehow pulled herself into a sitting position, one leg laying limply at an angle. She was breathing heavily, trying to control her body’s response to the pain. Her head was tilted, resting on her shoulder, as if it was too heavy for her neck to support.

“Batgirl…” And then Tim was at her side, looking for the injury in her leg. She hissed when he got close, but from what he could see, there was no fracture, only a puncture wound.

“Landed on the crates. Mother of all splinters..!” She felt her eyes rolling around, vision a blur, and grunted to herself. Play it off. It’s not serious. She hadn’t messed up. Not really, not as bad as before.

Her tone was deliberately light, but Tim couldn’t bring himself to smile. He had realised that his hands were wet and didn’t want to pick her up if he was going to smear her in more blood.

“I’m sorry.” She said, taking Tim away from his brooding. “I hit you. I shouldn’t have.” She looked like she was going to start crying, the pain in her leg and head coupled with the guilt seemingly too much. “I don’t want to hurt you and I did. I’m sorry.”

Tim wanted very much to pull back her cowl and stroke her hair, but restrained himself.

“I shouldn’t have grabbed you the way I did.”

“No but –”

He shushed her and she whimpered.  Shamefully, he gripped and wiped his hands on his cape, trying to make himself somewhat presentable, then very carefully, very gently, picked her up in a bridal hold. She cried out but reached up to wrap her arms around him.

Nightwing called both the police and an ambulance, staring at the dying man on the floor. Dick couldn’t do anything to help him, too many broken bones to even move him safely.

Tim watched Dick’s face grow cold.

“I’ll take her back to my apartment.” Tim said.

“No, you will not.”

Tim’s temper spiked again, though holding Stephanie he was unable to act on it as he would have liked. “Don’t talk to me like that.”

The signature sound of Batman’s cape fluttering, and the distant noise of sirens approaching, made the potential argument end.

“Nightwing, drive them both back to the Manor. Have Batgirl checked over.”

There was something very odd in Bruce’s tone that Tim wasn’t used to hearing, but it made him a little frightened.

“As said injured party member…” Chirped Stephanie, head craned back and straining her neck. “I feel like… I need a medical.”

“Hurry up!” Nightwing ordered, making his way to the batmobile. “You can drive my cycle but put Batgirl in the back.”

Four hours later, out of her costume and several stitches in her leg from where she had received the mother of all splinters, Stephanie’s head began to clear. She remembered Tim swooping down, and she remembered him hurting that man. Badly. Really badly. All because she lost her footing. All because she was in the wrong headspace to go out on patrol.

She was better than that. She knew she was.  

She stayed silent, but when Tim returned to her side, the two stared at each other for the longest time. Neither knew where to begin.

Bruce started it for them.

“Do I even need to say what went wrong tonight.” There was no question in his tone. Just a flat, tightly bound anger that Stephanie nearly whimpered at the sound of. She shook her head.

“I messed up. I let my emotions get in the way and I got hurt when it was easily avoidable.”

If Bruce was impressed by her self-awareness, it did not show. He turned to Tim. “And you?”

Tim said nothing. Only glared. Stephanie pressed her hands to her eyes, she wouldn’t be able to block out the sound of the oncoming argument, an argument that was her fault, but that didn’t mean she was going to watch it.

“Tim.” Bruce pushed.

“I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Nightwing, who had been sat a little back from the whole scene, piped up. “You know that’s a sack of bullshit Tim.”

Tim’s ears burned red, and Bruce didn’t miss the look of betrayal on Tim’s face at his brother. Seemed like that look was all Bruce was seeing recently.

“I didn’t do anything wrong.” Tim repeated.

It was the wrong thing to say.

“This is just one more thing in a continuing dangerous trend with you and I have half a mind to –”

“I don’t answer to you anymore!” Tim was turning as red as his uniform, but Bruce would not be moved.

“You’re both grounded until the wedding is finished.”

Ordinarily, Stephanie would have fought back. Bruce was not the boss of her. Even Babs barely counted as a mentor anymore. Not really. She was her own keeper, and Bruce attempting to parent her was just an embarrassing effort at best.

Now, with her hands pressed over her eyes, blind to anyone’s expressions, she nodded her consent.

“Promise.” She warbled.

Tim on the other hand, was in the mood to fight. He was so wound up from the day’s events, with no outlet, that it poured out of him defiantly. His voice cracked childishly.

“No! No, no! She didn’t do anything wrong and her injury isn’t even that bad!”

Dick watched Tim grow increasingly frustrated and frowned. What the hell had he missed the past six weeks? Bruce was going to return in kind with an equal aggression that would only serve to blow the roof off the cave, so Dick decided it was his turn to intervene. He got up and shoved past Bruce, physically grappling Tim and dragging him away from Stephanie. Bruce could cool down for a moment and talk to the crying girl. He’d try to give Tim a reality check.

When they reached the stairs, Tim wriggled out of Dick’s grip, eyes still on Stephanie, but his anger was directed straight at Dick.

“What do you think you’re—”

Dick grabbed Tim’s arm again, shaking him, making Tim look at him. “I think Tim, you’ll be needed to look after Steph. Yeah?”

“I don’t need to be grounded to do that. I didn’t do anything wrong! I’m not being punished for something I didn’t do!” Tim protested, tugging back to remove Dick’s hand from his arm. Dick huffed, feeling Tim was letting his ego get in the way of the point he was trying to make.

“I really don’t care about that. I don’t know what’s going on, but you’re both off kilter. Take a break. Look after each other.”

“I am not –”

“Tim look at her!” Dick hissed. Bruce had moved over to Steph’s side, and sat next to her. Tim watched as the two talked.

“What happened?” Bruce asked, voice somewhat softer.

“I… I’m having a bit of a freak out at the moment.” It was an odd thing for her to confess to Bruce of all people, but he seemed to be listening. “The whole… pretending to be in love mission is throwing me off more than I thought it would.”

“Pretending?”

“Oh God…” She moaned. Where did Bruce get off sounding so confused? What did he even think of her and Tim as a couple? Were they that transparent in their pining? “I’m finding it emotionally taxing.”

Always easier to be flippant. Say exactly what you mean, but hide it under a layer of sarcasm as a back door exit in case the sincerity of the statement was called into doubt. Bruce did not doubt her. Instead, he asked her something else.

“Can you keep going?”

“I swore to.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Then Bruce leaned forward, grabbing her wrist. He tugged it away from her face so she wasn’t hiding her eyes. At the look she gave him, so tired and sad, his grip moved down to her hand, and she squeezed back.

“I can keep going.” She sniffed, her bodily pain catching up with her miserable mood. “Not gonna lie, Batman… I feel like I’m slipping back into bad habits.”

“That’s why I said no patrol.”

“I know.”

“You going to listen?”

She nodded. “No Batgirl for a couple of weeks…Promise.”

“At the very least you can catch up on sleep a bit.” It was meant to be reassuring, but Bruce’s claim made Stephanie snort a gentle laugh. “And work on whatever is troubling you.”

Stephanie’s smile faded. “I can try. That’s all I can do at the minute. I’ll fix it.”

“Okay. I’ll get Alfred to give you a painkiller to help put you down tonight.” Bruce looked to Tim, who was in the corner with Dick. He looked equally miserable but chewed his lip and walked back over.

“I want to take you back to the apartment, Steph, if you want me to. I’ll take a couple of weeks off with you.”

She nodded. “I want that. Lemme get my drugs first.”

Bruce’s eyes hardened a little as he inspected Tim, who was stubbornly avoiding his gaze. Their conversation would have to wait. Once dosed up, Stephanie wrapped her arms around Tim’s shoulder, and hoisted herself up so she could hop over to his car.

“Goodnight Bruce…thank you.”

His mouth twitched, but with what emotion, Stephanie couldn’t tell.

When they got back, Stephanie managed to get settled on the bed. Tim promised to stay up with her to ensure she wouldn’t pass out with nobody to check on her. She lay like her limbs were made of lead, her head resting on a pile of pillows trying to support her neck.

“I’ll be okay. Alfred said since I can hold a conversation and my pupils are normal, I’ll be fine.”

“Your pupils are not fine. They’re as big as dinner plates.”

“That’s the painkillers.”

“I know… I just…”

She smiled. “You worry.”

“Yeah.”

She looked down at her hands, wringing them together. Her fingers on her right hand settled on her engagement ring, and she sighed.

“I’m sorry Tim, for everything. The argument and the hitting and me being a brat for weeks…You don’t… you don’t deserve any of this.”

“I shouldn’t have grabbed you the way I did. And I shouldn’t have—”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s really not.” He fought back.

“No…not really.” She wrung her hands. “There’s no excuse. I’m better than this… better than my dad.”

“You’re not your father.”

Stephanie nodded in response. He thought she believed him.

Tim, who up until this point had been standing on the other side of the room, moved to sit on the bed. He was facing away from her, but Stephanie could see both of their faces in his mirror. The guilt that was rippling across his face was hard to watch, so she stared straight forward instead, looking at the fat yellow duck at the foot of the bed. Tim saw her do so, and his fingers curled up in the bed sheets.

“Can we get some things out in the open? Like, brutally honest out in the open?”

“Interrogating someone whilst their high on painkillers? Sure. But can I start?” She asked. Tim screwed up his nose and nodded. Stephanie kept her eyes on the duck. “Why did you hurt that man so badly?”

Tim’s palms became sweaty, and he nervously wiped them down his sweatpants.

“He hurt you.” He offered lamely.

“No. This was… this was different.”

“It is related to why Bruce and I don’t get on much in the suits anymore.”

Understatement. She didn’t know what he’d done. She couldn’t know…

“You think you have to be that harsh? Your fighting is getting colder and crueler. I worry…”

“What I was doing before wasn’t working. I’m not Jason. Not that far gone. But I’m not… not the same person I was when I was fifteen, Steph.”

Please don’t abandon me for it.

Stephanie shifted, creeping out from under the covers. She curled up behind him, her sore leg still stretched straight, and then reached around so she could link their fingers. She was smiling a little dopily, and Tim would have found it sweet if he could have gotten the day’s events out of his head.

“Look at us. You’d think we’ve been through some traumatic things the past few years.”

Tim raised his eyebrows at her teasing. “Weird that.”

Steph laughed, though it sounded a little slurred to his ears.

“You know, I figured out a long time ago. Why I love you.” She whispered conspiratorially, begging Tim to play along. Eventually she would conk out, drugs and injuries tiring her out too much to stay conscious, but Tim let her take the conversation off track. Her breath and hold were so warm it was nearly feverish. She had seen him nearly murder a man, but then she had let him pick her up with blood stained hands, and she now held his fingers like nothing was wrong. Maybe the pair of them were beyond help, but Tim couldn’t give up the idea of a happy life for Stephanie. Preferably with him in it but…he wasn’t too picky.

“Why?” He muttered.

“You’re so gentle. So gentle. No other guy I know comes close to it. And, yeah, at first, I was infatuated with you because oh so cool Robin, so brave, so smart… but when you stayed with me despite the pregnancy… I don’t know how to put it… you have a giant brain and a giant-er heart. I don’t care about how well you can hurt people. That’s never been part of it. And I believe you’ve never enjoyed that bit of superheroing. Knowing you had come for me, that made me feel safe, that was all I needed. Watching you nearly kill that man…”

“I panicked.” He confessed. “You’d left on such shaky terms and then your beacon went off and all I could see was red. I was so upset.”

“I was frightened for what you would do. For a second.”

Her stating her worry seemed to almost traumatise Tim. An uncomfortable length of time passed as he worked through what she said in his head. Stephanie didn’t know him. She didn’t love him. Not who he was. Not really. That violence was part of him now. She said she knew him, but with who he was now staring her right in the face, she did not want it to be true.

She leaned closer, her breath a warm whisper against his neck. “I told you. I won’t let you forget. Especially seeing that violence tonight. I promise Tim. That’s not you.”

He choked a little when he responded, trying to play it down and play it off.

“I try not to think about it. The moment I do for too long, I’ll believe Bruce is right to be worried.”

“Nah. He’s just being a dad.”

A long moment of silence passed. Stephanie continued to play with Tim’s fingers whilst she did nothing but think through the day’s events. Finally, she pressed her forehead against the back of his neck, against the burn scar he had received what felt like so long ago.

“Tim?”

“Yeah?”

“Why do you love me? Actual quantifiable reasons.” She shifted behind him, uttering more to herself than him, “Gimme an ego boost.”

Tim answered immediately, “Because you’re brave. Because you refuse to accept your lot in life. Because you’re beautiful. Because you came back to Gotham when you had every right to leave forever. Because somehow, after everything he’s done to you, you don’t hate your dad.”

“Don’t like him either.”

She didn’t respond to any of his other points. She was trying to accept them as truth, as Tim had yet to lie to her for all of this hellish two months. But something just prevented her from absorbing it. That wasn’t her. Or maybe it had been.

“Not the same thing.” Tim sighed and leaned back. The way she was sat meant his head thunked on her collarbone. “Steph? You’re a good person. Even if you doubt it sometimes. Reason enough.”

Steph’s breath washed over Tim, smelling of the medicine she had slurped down earlier.

“I hurt you.”

“Remember when I throttled you and kicked you in the stomach?”

“That was different.”

“What do you want me to say? I’m a big boy and can handle an argument here and there. This pity party, Steph… it helps no-one. Speaking from experience here.” Tim’s mind drifted back to his conversation earlier. “I have an idea. Well, Cassie suggested it actually.”

“You spoke to the Titans.” There was a flat curiosity in her tone. It wasn’t aggressive, just resigned.

“They’re getting sick of being ignored. Don’t think embarrassment is going to cut it as an excuse anymore.” Tim watched as Stephanie looked away, ashamed from being chided. “Listen. I want you to come with me to do some stuff for work.”

“What stuff?”

“Tomorrow I’m visiting the community centre down the road. There’s an after-school club for kids whose parents work crazy hours. We funded the renovations and pay a few members of permanent staff. It’s just a fluffy photo op, but you might enjoy it more than anything else I do for my job.”

“How old are the kids?”

“Middle school and down.”

She sat still and thought it through. Tim sighed. “Listen. You once told me that I was going to drive myself mad one day.”

“You are going to drive yourself mad one day.”

“Why?”

She huffed, already knowing what angle he was playing. “Because you worry too much and have overly controlling tendencies when left unchecked.”

“…Yeah. Sure.” He tried not to sound too resentful as she relayed his flaws so dispassionately. “So, where’s Miss “The Only Variable You Can Control Is Yourself”? Huh?” Tim nudged her jaw with his forehead, causing her to grumble. “You do you, Steph. The rest will fall into place. Come with me to this event. Play some foosball with kids.”

She screwed her eyes shut, and Tim watched her at the awkward angle. Finally, her internal battle ended, and she nodded her head.

“It’s another thing for the job if nothing else.”

“I’m not asking you to do it for the mission.” Tim breathed. He couldn’t stop staring at her mouth. “I mean it’s a side perk sure, but I just want it to remind you that you’re not a bad person.”

Stephanie finally pulled away, back under the covers of the bed. Her eyes were wet.

“I’m maybe not a bad person but I am a mess. Don’t know why you put up with me.”

“That’s okay.” And Tim crawled over to her. Being unbearably tender, he pulled all of her hair to one side and began to braid it, hoping it would help her sleep better than her usual tangled mop allowed. A sudden memory occurred to him, and he smiled absentmindedly. “You’re worth a few stomach ulcers.”

She looked at him suspiciously at his weird statement, handing him a hair tie from her wrist as he worked his way down. “I haven’t changed my mind. About what I said. I’m not emotionally ready to be with you. Not strong enough yet.”

“Do you want to be?” He asked, tone light, trying to not pressure her too much. He finished tying off the braid with an exaggerated snap of the elastic.

“With you?”

“Mm.”

“I do, Tim.”

“Then I’ll wait. After this mission is finished, we can… start from scratch again. Take it slow.”

“…I like the sound of that.”

“And in the meantime…” He got under the covers next to her. “We work on one thing at a time. Like a checklist. Number one, sleep and work off that injury.”

“Tim…” She smiled, but it was brittle and fell very quickly. Tim stroked loose strands of hair away from her face, and she shut her eyes. “How do you know I’m not just using you? You could be with someone like Tam right now. Why stay for the promise of maybe?”

“Well, firstly, you don’t have a manipulative bone in your body.”

“That’s a lie.” Her voice was starting to slur. She was growing heavier and sleepier with each moment.

He quickly rebuffed her rebuttal. “Mmm? I don’t know about that. And secondly,” He rested his hand on her cheek. “I don’t want Tam, or anyone else. Just you. I want to be happy. So, I want to stay in Gotham. I want Bruce to get off my case. I want to help people. And I want… I want you. That’s all. Think that’s…pretty standard for a guy in his twenties.”

Softly, slowly, Stephanie had moved closer and closer whilst Tim mused aloud. When they were sharing a pillow, Tim’s eyes drifted down to her lips again, and chewed his own nervously.

“You can kiss me.” She said, tone still flat. “If you want to. For real.”

“…Not good for you. You said. Once.”

“Once.”

But Tim knew she was only saying so to punish herself. He may have been sick in love with her, but he still wasn’t so far gone as to make out with someone who, as far as he knew, was still pretty high on painkillers.

Then their foreheads were touching, and Steph’s hands were burying into Tim’s hair. He felt awfully cruel when he did so, whilst knowing it was the right thing to do, but Tim reached down, under the sheets, and pushed four fingers into her stitches.

She shrieked, rolling away on to her back. Her cry turned into one of laughter, then she groaned, writhing a little under the sheets as the pain in her head and leg sharpened at the sudden movements.

“No funny business madam.”

Breathlessly, she grunted, nodding a little too fervently.

“Sure, sure.”

She was becoming that last stage of manic before the exhaustion caught up with her, so Tim tried to gently press down on her limbs, one by one, hoping to create a reassuring weight to help calm her down.

“Things will be better in the morning. You’ll see.” He laid back down, wrapping an arm around her, essentially making them spoon. His hand reached for hers, and he began to play with her ring. “Wanna take it off? To sleep?”

She shuffled backwards, until the curve of her spine pressed against his chest. “S’okay.” And then she yawned, nuzzling her way into the pillow.

They lay in comfortable silence for a long moment, before Tim reached back to turn off the lights. When his hand returned to hers, she called his name, though it sounded distant and fuzzy to her own ears, as she was half asleep when the thought came to her.

“Tim?”

“Mm?”

“You promise to wait for me? Just a bit longer?”

“Promise.”

She squeaked happily, then promptly began to snore. Gone. Tim chuckled, then closed his eyes.

[ouronlyangelhes]

Just a Little Bit Of Your Heart: Harry Styles One Shot

Okay this is major feels but I hope you all enjoy it 😍😩

You opened your mailbox to find the one piece of mail that you had been dreading to get. Harry’s wedding invitation. It wasn’t that you weren’t happy for him, you were so happy he had found someone that he wanted to share the rest of his life with. However, your heart broke that the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life wasn’t you. You and Harry had met in college and had become had best friends. The two of you were always together, the best of friends.

Harry had met his fiancé while visiting a friend at another college. He fell head over heels in love with her and told you that he had met his soulmate. You were happy for him that he was so in love, and you really liked her as much as you didn’t want to. You had hoped that she wasn’t going to be amazing as Harry had described, but she was perfect. She was kind, genuine, and beautiful both inside and out. No matter how much you wanted to find something wrong with her, you couldn’t. Harry was over the moon for this girl and you couldn’t tell him your feelings and ruin it for him. You had thought about it so many times over the years, there really isn’t a casual way to tell your best friend you’re in love with him so you avoided it. The two of you had gotten tipsy so many times over the years and no kisses were exchanged, no drunken hookups, nothing.

The invitation remained in your hand, the smiles on this invitation were contagious.

You and dinner plans with Harry tonight, the two of you always tried to find time to hang out as much as you could. Unlike other girls Harry had dated, his fiancé never felt threatened by Harry having a girl as a best friend. Some of his former girlfriends tried to hog all of his time and make it clear that you were his friend, not his girlfriend. Gabby was different, she embraced your friendship and always did her best to include you.

You grabbed your jacket and purse and made your way out to the car.

“Did you get your wedding invitation in the mail yet love?” Harry asked as he sat down at the table next to you.

“Yes I did, it’s lovely Harry.” You said.

“I’m glad yeh like it, I feel like it took us ages to decide on what we wanted because we just liked all of them.” He said with a smile.

“Well I like the one you went with.” You said.

“So what’s new with you? I feel like I have been drowning in all of this wedding stuff and it’s all I seem to talk about anymore.” He said to you.

“Oh you know, nothing too crazy. Just the usual. Work and all that.” You said as you took a sip of your wine.

“I have a favor to ask and you can totally say no if you don’t want to or if you’re too busy I understand. But Gabby is going out of town for her friends baby shower and we were suppose to pick out the flowers for the wedding tomorrow, and she doesn’t want to cancel the appointment. So she just asked if you’d fill in for her because she thinks you just have the best taste and I would totally agree. If you’re not into it just tell me.” He said.

How could you say no? Your best friend was practically begging you for your help. What kind of friend would you be if you turned him down because of your feelings? It was going to be his special day and you couldn’t dare ruin it with your own selfishness.

“No! I’ll totally go with you. Besides, you know I am a sucker for a good floral arrangement.” You said with a smile.

After dinner you headed back to your flat. Your mind was racing, it was like you couldn’t turn it off. Eventually you finally fell asleep.

You were awoken by your alarm a little after 9 am. You got up and began to get ready for the day. Harry had texted you saying to meet him at the flower place around 11:00. As you got ready, you looked yourself in the mirror. Where was the girl who was never afraid to speak her mind? Where was the girl who never left anything unsaid? Where was she? Because the girl you were looking at in the mirror had let her feelings take the backseat and prioritized friendship over what her heart desired. You didn’t want to live with regret, but you also couldn’t bring yourself to break Harry’s heart and burst his happy bubble. You think the worst part in all this is you know your feelings aren’t reciprocated. You and Harry had many of discussions over the years after countless people had mentioned what a great couple they thought they Two of you would be. Harry had said to you that he just didn’t see what they saw between the two of you and he hadn’t ever wondered about the possibility of there being anything more.

You finished up getting ready and headed out of your flat to go ahead and meet Harry.

The drive to the flower shop was quite short, only about 15 minutes from where you lived.

You walked in to find a very concentrated Harry browsing various floral arrangements.

“Oh thank god you’re here. There’s like a million kinds of flowers and plants and arrangements and I think they’re all lovely, so I’m gonna need some help here.” He said as he embraces you with a big hug.

“Well, we can’t have you overwhelmed by the flowers can we?” You said with a smile.

“Hi. I’m Trish, I am the main florist here. Any idea what the two of you are looking towards for the big day or are you just wanting to see various flowers and arrangements.” She said.

“Oh, this is Y/N she’s my best friend, my fiancé unfortunately had to leave town for a baby shower and she didn’t want to cancel so I sent her here to fill in. She has impeccable taste so I’m sure she’ll help me pick the right thing. “ He said to her with a smile.

“Well, it’s lovely to meet the both of you. Let’s step over here and the two of you can look at these arrangements that are already done up and see if you like any of those. We can always substitute any flower for another if you’d like as well. The vases and all that can be changed too. If you have a specific thing you’d like just let me know and I’d be happy to make it work for you.” She said.

“Thank you, I appreciate that.” Harry said as he began to browse the floral arrangements before him.

Flowers and flowered galore. Types of flowers you hadn’t even seen before. You had relatively simple taste and you weren’t into anything super glitzy, similar to Gabby. You had a rustic simplistic style and a lot of these arrangements were overwhelming.

“I really like these. I think they would looks good mixed with baby’s breath, you said Gabby liked those right?” You asked.

“Yes! She does. See this is why I brought you. Already doing a way better job than I would’ve alone.” He said with a smile.

You confined to browse around the shop looking at the various arrangements. But ultimately deciding on the simple one you chose.

“Thanks again for coming with me, I really do appreciate it.” Harry said as he finished sorting out all the details for the delivery.

“Of course, I didn’t mind at all. I actually had fun.” You said.

Harry finished sorting out all the delivery details as you walked around the store.

“You and him make such a cute couple! Not to sound creepy but I’ve just been watching the two of you and you guys are precious!” A woman no older than you said as she was sorting arrangements.

You didn’t bother to correct her. Maybe it was selfish but you wanted to enjoy the idea of that for a second or two.

“Aw, thank you.” You said as you walked away and met Harry at the counter.

You followed Harry out of the flower shop.

“Thank you. It means a lot to me and Gabby that you would do this. I knew I picked a good best friend.” He said as he kissed your cheek and pulled you in for a hug.

“No problem. Anything for my best friend and his fiancé.” You said as you said your goodbyes and parted ways.

-

Three months later.

The wedding was getting closer and closer. It was happening in a matter of days now. Gabby had asked if you would be one of her bridesmaids. You agreed, she was the kindest and sweetest and you couldn’t say no. Your dress had come in and you were very happy with it. You and Gabby had similar taste, a light pink dress was the choice for all of the bridesmaids. You were preparing yourself the best you could for the big day. The big day that was going to end with Harry marrying someone that wasn’t you

It was the night of the rehearsal dinner, you had kept the drinks flowing steadily to keep your mind from wandering to the reality of the event that was going to take place tomorrow.

You made your way back to the table as Harry was preparing to make a toast.

“Thank you to everyone for being here tonight. It means so much to Gabby and I that you are here to celebrate us. I am so lucky to be marrying the most loving, special, and wonderful person tomorrow. Not everyone gets to meet their soulmate and I am super lucky to have found mine and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you. Thank you to everyone who has helped plan this day and we cannot thank you enough. Mum, Gem, Dad, thank you for helping me be the person that I am today and I hope that I make you proud. Cheers.” Harry said as he raised his glass

You had tears in your eyes, but lucky you weren’t the only one. Gem and Anne seemed like they were tearing up as well, but for obviously a different reason.

The rehearsal dinner began to wind down for the night and people started heading out.

“How ya doin’ love?” Harry said as he came up to you at the bar.

“Good. How are you? Soon to be husband.” You said to him.

“I’m good. That’s crazy innit, im getting married tomorrow.” He said.

“I know. Time flies.” You said as you took another sip of your drink.

“I’ll see ya tomorrow love.” He said as he gave you a hug and went back to say his goodbyes and thank yous.

You went to bed that night with a nervous stomach and an aching heart. You just wanted to be able to get through tomorrow and just get it over with.

You woke up dreading the wedding. You began to get your things together as you were all heading to Gabby’s suite to get ready.

When you got there, she was already getting her hair and makeup done. She looked beautiful. You got your make up and hair done and now all you had to do was wait. You cleared out fo the suite as it was getting a little chaotic in the suite with everyone getting ready. Your hair and makeup was already done and you had gotten changed into your dress. You decided to walk around and get some fresh air. You decided to check on Harry and see how he was doing. You knocked on the door and Jeff opened it.

“Hiya, come on in.” Jeff said as he invited you in.

“Harry’s just in there.” Jeff said as he pointed at the door.

“Harry.” You called out.

“In here!” He said.

You took one look at him and he took your breath away. You had been dreaming of this moment since you had first met him. He looked fanatic in a suit but this was something special.

“You look great, Harry.” You said as you stroked the suit.

“As do you. I can’t believe this is happening.” He said.

“I know, me either.” You said trying to hold back the tears that were forming in your eyes.

“I have a present for you.” Harry said as he opened a drawer.

“Present. Why are you giving me a present? It’s your wedding day, you should be the one who’s getting all the gifts.” You said.

“I know but you’ve done so much for me over the years and have really been an amazing friend to me and this is just to thank you for that. And for saving my life with the whole flower ordeal because that would have been absolutely dreadful without you.” He said as he handed you a box with a box on it.

“Thank you. Do you want me to open it now?” You asked as you held the small box in your hands.

“Yes.” He said.

You opened the box to find the box beautiful necklace. It was a simple gold chain with one pearl on it in the center.

“Wow, Harry this is beautiful. You didn’t have to do this, thank you.” You said as you looked at it.

“Of course I did. Here, I’ll put it on ya, it’ll look great with your dress.” He said as he unclasped the necklace to put it on you. 
Feeling his hands on you in the most innocent way, made your thoughts wander to the least innocent of places.

You said thank you what felt like a million more times before heading out of his room and making your way back to the suite with all the rest of the bridesmaids. As you were leaving Harry’s room you noticed Jeff standing in the hallway. He was on the phone dealing with the usual business stuff.

“Y/N, is Harry ready in there?” Jeff asked.

“Yeah, I think so.” You said.

“Are you ok?” He asked with a concerned look on his face.

“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” You asked.

“I mean just considering, I figured this would be a pretty hard day for you. Is it not? I could be wrong but I guess I just always thought you had some kind of feelings for him. I mean, I could be wrong but I’m not the only one who sees it. Hell, even Harry does.” Jeff said leaving you stunned. Did Harry really know about your feelings all this time and just say nothing?

“What do you mean even Harry sees it?” You asked noticeable getting more upset.

“He said something a while back about how he was pretty sure you had it bad for him but that was a while ago. Y/N I didn’t mean to upset you, you know the I love you and think you’re an amazing person and friend.” Jeff said trying to calm you down and reassure you.

Everything wasn’t fine and you were far from okay. The boy who had been your best friend since college has been aware of your feelings towards him and put you in situations where you would be hurt. Like picking out those damn flowers. He knew how badly you wished that was you and still invited you anyways. You couldn’t believe it. You had to speak to Harry and you had to speak to him now. You couldn’t let the rest of the day go on, you knew that you would be extremely passive aggressive towards him and distance yourself l, you couldn’t do that to him today.

You turned around and walked back to Harry’s room where you began to knock quite aggressively on the door.

“I’m here love what’s up.” Harry said sounding slightly annoyed at all the knocked on his door.

“How could you? How could you pretend all this time like you didn’t know how I felt about you? How could you just drag me around when you knew the feelings that I had for you? You made me go fucking flower shopping for your wedding Harry! Do you not understand how much that hurt me but I did it anyway because you asked me to!” At this point you were screaming at him.

You don’t think you have ever been this hurt and upset with him ever in your friendship. You felt betrayed. It’s not like you had been forward with him and told him how you felt, but still the fact that he knew you had feelings for him and he dragged you along anyways just didn’t sit right with you.

“Y/N, love I was never dragging you around. And there was a time where I had an inclination that you might have feelings but that was right after we met! I had no idea that you had felt this way! Why didn’t you say something? I wouldn’t have made you go shopping for the flowers if I had known. Do you think I’m really that heartless?” Harry said noticeably offended.

“Oh. Well I just saw Jeff in the hallway and he told me that you knew and I don’t know why I stormed in her so angry and I’m just- I’m just gonna go.” You said to him reaching for the door.

“Wait, look my feelings may not match yours but I cannot lose you. You’re my best friend ok, I don’t know what I would do without you. Is there anything that I can do to make you stay?” Harry asked trying to plead with you.

“I don’t think there is Harry. I’m sorry to do this to you and I’m sorry that I did it today but I can’t stay and watch you marry her. Look I don’t want to not have you in my life but I just cannot go out there and stand up there. I just can’t do it. I promise that we’ll stay friends and you won’t lose me but you just have to let me go today. Please. I can’t stay.” You said as tears ran down your face.

“No, I get it. Do what you have to do. What should I tell Gabby? She’s going to wonder where you went and why you aren’t up there with her. Just tell her I got sick or something. I’m not going to be the reason that this day isn’t good for her. Again, I’m sorry Harry I don’t want to ruin your day.” You said.

“I should be the one that’s sorry. You’re here begging for me to love you and I just can’t. I’m sorry that I can’t be that one for you, I really am sorry. This hurts me too. I’m sorry. I wish I felt that way about you, I really do. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you, I just don’t love me in the way you want me to.” He said as he wiped the tears from your cheek.

“I know. I’m gonna head out okay. I’ll see you soon.” You said as you walked out. You didn’t look back once. You got in your car and got the hell out of there. You wished you had kept your mouth shut and never said anything to Harry. But at the same time you would’ve probably lost it standing up there watching them say their vows, put the rings on each other’s fingers, and kiss.

-

It had been two months since the wedding and you had only seen Harry a handful of times. You were desperate to not lose the friendship that you and Harry had but things just weren’t the same after that day. You tried, both of you really did. But things just felt forced and uncomfortable. He was happy, you saw that in his eyes the last time you saw him. You knew that the only way your friendship would ever go back to what it was if you got over him.

You had to. You needed to meet someone and let all of those moments that you had dreamed about with Harry go. It wasn’t going to happen and you needed to be free from it. They say that you often times find the right person when you aren’t even looking. You had met someone and he swept you right off your feet. He was all the things you could have ever wanted in a boyfriend. Tyler was kind, patient, and loving. He made you feel love that you didn’t even know that you could feel. Love that you thought was only reserved for Harry. You and Tyler has been dating for a while when you had ran into Harry at a summer barbecue at a friends house. Harry was over the moon that you had found someone and it was in that moment that things started going back to normal between you two. Somehow through it all, both you and Harry did end up with love. Just not love that was shared between you. And for the first time in awhile, you were okay with that.

[itsallabigmess]

Asking for Trouble

This scenario was based on an anonymous request.

A/N: I had a few days off - thanks to a holiday in my country - and I spent most of my free time on the couch rewatching “old” romcoms that I love. I miss that kind of movies (am I the only one?). They are not released very often these days - and the ones that are being released now don’t have the same charm the 90′s and early 2000′s romcoms had (in my opinion.).

So, since I was feeling kinda stuck (still am honestly and it clearly shows in this scenario), I got one of the requests I received for a “Friends with Benefits to Lovers AU” and mixed with a lot of the cliches of those movies And from that came this silly scenario. I hope you guys enjoy it.

Also, I’m super weak for blonde Mark so imagine him with the “Eyes On You/THE New Era” look in this scenario -- I need to write more stories with this dork as the main character (just as much as I need some time away from Jinyoung). And oh! JB is also included in this one.

Please let me know your thoughts! 

A.

The screens showed his flight had just landed. Finally. You arrived just an hour before and decided to wait for your friend at the airport. He didn’t know though. So, you had to rush to his gate, afraid he would just leave without you. And after a few minutes there he was.

It’s not that it was hard to recognize him. You were sure you could recognize your best friend anywhere, no matter how long you haven’t seen each other. But he certainly looked different.

“Mark!” you screamed and waved enthusiastically until he finally noticed you, the biggest of smiles opening in his face when his eyes met yours.

He walked to you, dropping one of his bags on the floor and hugging you, your feet getting off the ground with the action.

It’s been only six months since you last have seen each other. Still seemed too long. You always found yourself missing everything about him.

“I can’t believe you agreed with this,” you said once he put you back on your feet. “Thank you.”

It was a surprise when you received a call from one of your cousins telling you she was engaged. And not a minute after you started being bombarded with messages from other relatives. Everybody is so willing to remind you that you were still single. Sure that drinking wouldn’t be enough to deal with your family during the wedding, you called your best friend asking for help.

And now there you were. Mark was your plus one.

“Oh, come on, you’re doing me a favor. I needed some time off.” Mark picked his bag on the floor, passing the strap over his shoulder. “Besides, I missed you.”

Your lips curved up, you somewhat feeling shy. Mark always had that effect on you. “What’s up with the hair?” you asked, ruffling the sides of his new blond locks.

“It was a bet. But I kinda like it.”

“You should! It looks great,” you stated what seemed obvious. You always found Mark annoyingly handsome. Somehow the blond hair – and eyebrows - made him even more charming. It would be hard not to stare at him while he seemed distracted. As if your weekend wasn’t destined to be hard enough. But hopefully, you would have some fun.

After checking in a hotel and leaving your bags in the room you were sharing you went for lunch and shopping. Mark didn’t have a suit for the big day. And you still needed to find a dress. Happily, your cousin spared you from the burden of being one of her bridesmaids. You wondered how she would feel if you went to the ceremony wearing black from head to toe.

You helped Mark choose the right suit, and made him wait for you until you finally decided to buy more than one dress for yourself. It would be a long weekend after all. And you wanted to look great while trying to survive it.

Even apart, living in different cities since you both finished college, you and Mark always found time to text each other. It couldn’t be compared though, to being close to him, hearing him laugh. It made the hours you had before rehearsal dinner fly and, sooner than later, much for your displeasure, you found yourself mentally preparing to deal with your family.

It turned out the rehearsal dinner was in a somewhat luxurious cottage, not a restaurant as you expected. It should be no surprise, your cousin had told you before how loaded his fiancé family was. And seeing how some guests were dressed, you started to question your own wardrobe choices.

Chuckling at the faces you were making, but being the best companion you could ever have, Mark tried to reassure you, remembering you were not alone and you didn’t need to stay for the entire thing.

“Let’s have some fun,” he said, taking your jacket from you and winking before walking towards the coat check.

You looked around, trying to see if you could recognize any familiar faces, eyes opening wide when you hear your cousin screaming your name and rushing towards you, her slim arms hugging as tightly as she could.

“I’m so happy you are here! When haven’t seen in ages! You look so great!” she said in a breath. “But where is him? Where is your boyfriend?”

“My boyfriend?” you asked with a frown.

“Oh, come on, I saw you two earlier at the mall, being all cutesy together.”

“You saw me? Why you didn’t talk to me?”

“I was busy, buying some last things for the honeymoon. But don’t change the subject!” she grabbed your arm, leaning closer to whisper in your ear. “He’s much more handsome than I remember.”

“Lana, Mark is just my friend.”

“Yeah, right,” your cousin rolled her eyes. “Where is he, the family is dying to meet him! Oh hi!”

You looked over your shoulder to see Mark approaching, his eyes moving from you to your cousin’s excited gaze. The girl practically jumping to hug him.

Oh, you were in trouble.

“Mark, do you remember Lana?” you asked, giving a step back. You and Mark first met each other in college and since you didn’t study in your hometown, he never got the chance to meet your family. Except for Lana, who occasionally visited you. And since you were always hanging out with him, she got the chance to spend more than a few days with you in the past. And even if she didn’t, you had talked about him between your texts and phone calls enough for her to know exactly who he was.

“I’m so glad you joined us, Mark,” Lana started babbling again, not giving any time for Mark to respond “You have to meet the boys, you’re gonna join them on whatever they are planning for tomorrow night while I and the girls will do some nasty things. Don’t worry! No strippers allowed,” she winked, and you weren’t sure if it was for you or for Mark. “We are gonna have so much fun, cuz. And you two are such a cute couple! Ok, I gotta go.”

And then, Lana was already rushing towards another guest.

“Couple?” Mark asked, arms crossing in front of his chest.

You turned to him, covering your face with both your hands, “She saw us at the mall and assumed we were… dating.” You looked up at Mark, his expression was hard to read. “And I think she told everyone we are dating.”

“Okay,” Mark smiled after a minute of silence “Let’s do this.”

“What?! No, Mark. I can tell everyone we are just friends.”

“Didn’t you spent months telling me how much shit your family was giving you for still being single? You just found yourself a way out.”

“So, you wanna pretend you are my boyfriend?” you asked astonished.

“Why not?” Mark shrugged, holding you by the shoulders “Do you prefer to explain to everyone we are just friends and go back to the unnecessary judgment?”

“God, no,” you grumbled, throwing your head back. “But you’re sure you wanna do this?”

“As long as you promise we’re doing this because of your family, not because of him.”

“Who?”

Following Mark’s annoyed stare to the lounge area, you saw him, talking to some other guys. Your ex-boyfriend.

He was invited of course. More than that, he was also one of the groomsmen. You knew Jaebeom was friends with your cousin’s fiancé, but you never knew they were this close. Or at least they weren’t a year ago when you were still together. You haven’t spoken to him since you broke up. Since he broke up with you. And you were most definitely not expecting to see him tonight. Or ever again for that matter.

Holding hands, with fingers intertwined, you and Mark started to walk between guests, your parents soon finding you. It started fine, the introductions. Mark made sure to be the one to talk, which was a first. He always was one to keep it to himself. But then your uncles came, and some of your cousins, and family friends. And all the talk about you being the last single girl in the family flipped into a ‘thank God she found someone, she was never good at keeping a relationship.’

Miserable. That’s how you would feel the entire weekend. It didn’t matter if you had Mark with you or not.

You went out to catch a breath when comments start to get unbearable, Mark offering to get you a drink in the meantime. It was better, the quietness in the garden. You need to hug your bare arms as the cold breeze hits you.

“You look very nice,” Jaebeom’s voice sounded behind you.

You let out a heavy sigh, turning your body in his direction. He looked nice, which only made you annoyed. Jaebeom was always attractive. You thought so even before you started dating. And that wouldn’t change, no matter how much you asked for some divine justice from the universe.

He moved to give you a hug and you gave a step back, looking at him as if you could murder him right there.

“You don’t seem very happy to see me.”

“What gave you that idea?” you asked sharply.

“Honey?” Mark, your savior for the weekend appeared, his arm pulling you close by your middle, dropping a kiss on the top of your head. Mark sure was taking the role of fake boyfriend seriously. Not that you were complaining. “Aren’t you cold?”

“So, you two are a thing now?” Jaebeom asked.

“We sure are,” Mark squeezed you even closer.

Jaebeom crooked his neck, smiling huffily at you both. “You guys have a great night,” he said, going back inside.

“I hate that guy,” Mark released his grip on you but kept his touch on your lower back.

“You and I both,” you exhaled, looking as Jaebeom walked away.

“You sure? No remaining feelings for him?”

“Really?” you turned to face him “You do remember how I was after he broke up with me, right?”

“I remember it very well,” he smirked without looking at you, and you felt your cheeks burn, the image of you two laying in Mark’s bed making its way to your thoughts. “Do you wanna go inside?”

“Do we have to?” you pouted.

Mark chuckled. “I don’t really think anyone would notice us leaving.”

“There’s a barbecue place near the hotel…” you tilted your head to the side.

“I’ll get our coats.”

Maybe it was the fact you had woken up too early or maybe it was because your family always found a way to drain your energy, but as soon as you laid in bed after showering you felt exhausted.

You dozed off for a few minutes, waking up again when Mark turned the lights off, laying in his own bed, wishing a good night. You were wrong, you thought. It did matter that Mark was there with you. It was better with him.

The last time you two shared a room was right after Jaebeom had broken up. You called him, Mark being the only person you wanted to talk with. Even if you were certain that he would make you feel shitty about the whole thing. Mark never liked Jaebeom. He made that very clear, more than once. And maybe you should have listened to him. But people tend to get blind when falling in love and you were no exception.

When you got to his place, Mark didn’t say a thing. He listened and hugged you and made you company, allowing you to cry and curse as much as you wanted to. Then he bought you food and you two spend some hours in his bed, watching horror movies. And then you were kissing. Somehow you could not remember how or who started it. But Mark's lips were touching yours softly. And his hands were on your body, over and under the clothes your wearing. And not long after you were moaning uncontrollably.

Things got a bit weird after that day, you two not speaking for a few weeks. Until he reached out and made sure everything was okay between you two. You never told him how puzzled you felt with the whole thing.

It came to mind how since then Mark never touched you much. Until today. Hugging you at the airport, letting you hold his arm while you did your shopping, his hand always on you during the hours spent with your family. You liked it. As if he was somehow compensating you for all the months you spent apart.

You sneaked into his bed, Mark looking confused at you for a second but making space so you could lay with him the next second. You rested your head on his shoulder, he holding your hand over his chest.

“You okay?” he asked, voice already sounding sleepy.

“Yeah. Just didn’t want to sleep alone.”

“We are in the same room,” he said with a chortle, the caress of one of his hands on your arm letting you know that it was more than fine you were in his embrace.

“Thank you again for coming with me,” you lifted your head, the dim light coming from the bathroom letting you see the soft lines of his face.

“I’m glad I came. Your family really is something else,” he exhaled “But maybe things will be better at the wedding. They really bought our relationship.”

“Well, you are a great fake boyfriend.”

Mark chuckled, adjusting his body to be closer to you, giving a kiss on your forehead letting his chin rest on the top of your head as he fell asleep.

The truth was, you were certain Mark would also be a great real boyfriend.

Lana was already half drunk when you got to the bar where her bachelorette party was happening. You soon joined in the heavy drinking and dancing in the middle of the area were reserved just for that gathering.

You and your other cousin sat down after a while, shots of tequila being pilled up in front of you, the bride to be hugging you by the neck. “You were always my favorite cousin,” she would coo, dropping a kiss on your cheek before resting her head on your shoulder for a second or two. “I’m so happy you and Mark are together.”

“Lana…” You sighed feeling a bit guilty for lying, even though it was her own fault Mark and you were in that position.

“So, who confessed? It was him, wasn’t it? I never thought he would have the balls. He’s too shy. But I knew he liked you as soon as I saw you two together.”

“What?” you asked confused, the alcohol already making its work on your body.

“He always looked at you so lovingly, even I got a bit jealous. I love my boyfriend… Fiancé? Anyway, I love him but he’s too stiff sometimes. But really, cuz, I’m just happy you two decided to love each other… it’s been a long time coming.”

And then, Lana being Lana even drunk, she left you mid-sentence to found someone else to pay attention to her.

Feeling dizzy by all the drinking and confused about your cousin’s words, you let your head fall on the bar counter. Did she really think Mark had feelings for you? Or it was just the booze controlling her tongue. She was probably talking too much, thinking you and Mark were a real couple. Even you felt like you were after waking up with him hugging you and asking what you wanted for breakfast. But you and Mark were always incredibly close and sweet towards each other. And that was it. Just friends. Nothing else.

Mark was there to pick you up when the night came. You didn’t notice at first, still sitting at the same spot, drinking some coke. Lana, who was completely drunk was the one to let you know he was at the other side of the bar.

He was talking to someone else. A girl. One there was not at the party. Mark didn’t look interested in her.

Lana started giggling on your side, saying how someone was trying to get your guy. So maybe that’s why you did what you did next. Or maybe you were still drunk. But you walked to Mark and kissed him.

He could taste the alcohol on your lips. Which should be more than enough to push you away. But instead, he kissed you back, his fingers digging into the skin of your waist, pulling your body close to him.

“Hello,” he said when you finally broke apart, his face red.

“I don’t like girls hitting on you,” you said, tilting your head back, your eyes half-closed.

“I didn’t know you could be jealous of a fake boyfriend,” you could hear the tease in his voice, Mark brushing his nose on yours, his hands still on your waist.

“I don’t like it either,” you almost whispered, feeling heat grow inside your body. “Fake relationships.”

Mark smiled and you didn’t know what it meant until his lips found yours again, wet and sweat and so much better than the first time.

“I think it’s time to leave,” he said, resting his forehead on yours for a second, needing to catch his breath.

You rested against him on the way back to the hotel, the taxi not going fast enough for your liking. Mark was still touching you, his hand discreetly going up and down on your thigh. It was there again, the feeling you could not remember until a few minutes ago. Wanting Mark. Wanting to feel all of him in all of you. You felt it after breaking up with Jaebeom when you slept together. And you were feeling it now.

It was stronger though. Better. You weren’t hurting. You didn’t need consolation. You just needed him.

Entering the hotel, you had to look twice to make sure it was in fact Jaebeom sitting in the lobby. 

“What the fuck you’re doing here?” Mark snorted.

“Can we talk?” Jaebeom asked after getting close, looking straight to you.

“We have nothing to talk about.”

“It’s just a minute. Please.” Jaebeom pleaded.

Mark didn’t want to leave your side but agreed after you reassured him it wouldn’t take long, your ex-boyfriend waiting until there was no sight of him to be seen.

“Were you hooking up when we were dating?” Jaebeom asked, stepping in front of you a bit too close for comfort. “You were, weren’t you?”

“Seriously? That’s what you wanted to say?”

“I was hoping to talk to you yesterday. I wanted to apologize for everything. But then you showed up with him?! I always thought that something was going on with you two. Now I know. You were fucking behind my back!” Jaebeom growled.

“No Jaebeom, you were the one fucking someone else when we were together.” You tried to keep your voice down, anger taking over your body. “I never cheated you. That was your mistake. Not mine.”

“I don’t believe you!”

“Then why you are here? Why do you care?”

“Because… I felt really bad after we broke up. I never wanted to hurt you.”

You crossed your arms in front of you “And you realized that before or after the girl you were fucking dumped you?”

You waited for an answer, but Jaebeom was mute, opening his mouth a while after only to say your name.

“Save it, Jaebeom. I don’t wanna hear it,” you waved your hand, giving your back to him “Please don’t ever talk to me again.”

Mark was sitting on his bed when you entered the room, hands rubbing against each other. You let your body slowly fall on his side, you two in silence for a moment.

“He wanted to know if something was going on between us when he was still with me?” you finally said, your eyes on Mark’s hands.

“That’s ironic. What did you say?”

“The truth,” you shrugged “That I never cheated on him. Don’t think he’s gonna bother me anymore.”

You removed your shoes when you two became silent again, pulling your legs over the bed, occupying the space free behind him. You wish you were still drunk, to give you the boldness you knew you needed right now. But the altercation you had minutes before showed you were in total control of your thoughts.

“I need you to tell me something,” you said, Mark turning his face to look at you over his shoulder. “I need you to tell me that you didn’t kiss me just for the hell of it.”

“Do you think I would kiss you if I didn’t really want to?” he stared at his hands again. You could see there was some internal debate going on within Mark, which only made you nervous. You didn’t want to push him. But you knew this was a conversation that you needed to have. The same way you knew that waiting to talk in another moment would feel hellish for both of you.

“I was jealous of him,” Mark finally let out, his eyes still low. “Of Jaebeom. That’s why I didn’t like him. Well, one of the reasons,” He turned his body to face you, touching one of your legs lightly. “I already liked you before you started dating. I was trying to find a way to tell you. Guess I waited too long and lost my shot,” he smiled at you weakly, embarrassed.

“I wish you had told me. I always felt something for you” you confessed, something that you just noticed. Mark was always the first person on your mind every day. Always the one you wanted to spend time with, tell everything about your life. “I never thought you saw me as something other than your friend,” you touched his hand, he turning his palm up to hold yours.

“I almost did. After that night. But I knew you needed some time.”

You nodded quickly, biting your lower lip. “So, when I invited for the wedding…”

“I was just excited to spend so time with you again. I really missed you. But then you told me about Lana thinking we were together,” he gave a silly smile this time, and you couldn’t help to follow him. “I thought I could try again, tell you how I felt, show you how nice I could be to you.”

“I feel like I should be the one doing that,” you admitted, thinking how shitty it must have felt during the entirety of your relationship with Jaebeom, you now regretting all the times you talked about it with Mark, all the times you got mad at him for stating his hate for your now ex.

“You did when you came to my bed last night.”

“Mark, that shouldn’t be enough,” you laughed.

“You can let me take you out on a date after the wedding,” Mark said, moving to sit by your side, a hand moving to cup your face.

“Until then,” you got on your knees, arms wrapping around his neck, dropping a quick kiss on his lips. “Maybe I can try to compensate a little for the time we lost?”

“What do you have in mind?”

You leaned towards Mark again, pretending to move to another kiss only to get out of bed, walking towards the bathroom, removing your shirt and letting it fall on the ground.

“I should have confessed a long time ago,” Mark ruffled his hair, following your steps to the shower.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #247

“i tried to choke my mom with my umbilical cord, the doctor was too busy amputating my horns.”

Have you ever had confetti pancakes? I don't believe so. Do you obsess over your appearance? To a degree, ex. in regards to weight. Are you responsible for stuffing someone’s stocking? No. What’s your favorite romantic comedy? Ah man, idk. I like romcoms, just none are coming to mind right now. Do you stock up on make-up palettes during November? ????? no????? Have you ever taken a class online? Yes. Do you have a Neopets account? Omg I have so many piled up, I'm sure, lol. Loved that shit and kept going back. Do you make your own smoothies or juices? No. Do you think time really does heal all? No. Are you more sensitive to heat or the cold? HEAT, FUCKING CHRIST. Has anyone searched your room for anything recently? Mom helped me search for one of my mood stabilizers that the cat got out of my basket... We never found it. A new bottle. Thank god my psychiatrist just gave me a sample pack til my prescription can be refilled. Is anything in your room purposely hidden? Yes. Do you get a cold around the holidays? I rarely get sick, regardless of the season. Does it snow where you live? Rarely. Have you ever been pranked via hidden camera? No. Is hair gel a turn off on guys? "Not necessarily, but too much can be." <<<< This. Do you think cursing makes people sound unintelligent? Lol fuck off. What’s something you can cook extremely well? The only thing I CAN cook is cheesy scrambled eggs but I mean they're exceptionally good lol. Have you ever been bitten by a snake? Nope. How about a spider? Possibly at some point. If you don't want kids, was there ever a time you did, and vice-versa? The only time I ever wanted kids was deep into Jason's and my relationship. It's funny because I wanted three and now I'm just all NOPE. I stopped wanting kids after him. What is your favorite color for bridesmaid dresses? Idc. Do you ever count sheep to help you fall asleep? No. Do you have a youtube channel? If so, when did you start it? Yeah. I was on YouTube real early... don't remember the actual year, though. Do you have a secret crush right now? No. When was the last time you called customer service? I haven't. Do you take birth control pills? Not currently for mood reasons, but with my incredible fear of being raped, I kinda wanna go back. Do you like chocolate cake? Yeah man. Do you know anyone who doesn’t want to have kids? Plenty of people, myself included. Do you regret letting a certain guy or girl slip away? Ugh idk. There's no telling how awfully or well that path would've gone. Have you ever fainted? Yes. Do you consider yourself a good artist? Decent, anyway. Do you ever play board games anymore? Not really, I don't enjoy board games. The only time I ever really do is if Girt's over cuz that's like our "thing." Who was your first celebrity crush? Whew, Jesse McCartney. Who in your family did you get your height from? Mom. Who did you get your smile from? your hair color? your eye color? Smile, idk. Hair, also unsure. Dad was born dirty blond like me, but his hair turned black. Meanwhile I think Mom has always had brown hair, but hers is very dark/almost black. My maternal grandpa had blue eyes like me. Do you have big or small hands? Idk, normal. What was the name of your first imaginary friend you remember having? I never really had one. Do you pray to God regularly? Considering I don't believe in Him, no. What is your favorite version of the Bible to read? Even growing up religious, I sure never spent time reading various versions of the Bible. Have you been baptized? If so, how and where were you baptized? I was as a baby in a Roman Catholic church. You know, the traditional baptism with being dipped in water. Do you eat meat? Sadly. What college did you go to? and what was your major? I'm not sharing what college I go to, but my major is Art & Design. Do you miss living with a roommate? I look back on living with Jason, Jacob, and Amanda fondly most of the time, but idk if I can say I miss it. I at least don't miss my mental health. Have you ever been abused in any way? I feel incredibly thankful that I haven't... It seems like most people I know have been in some way or form. Do you like unicorns? Yeah man, they're dope. How old were you when you found out Santa wasn’t real? Idk, some year in elementary school. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? Ha ha no, I've got a cat for that. He insists on being cuddled most of the time. Name 3 things you are allergic to. Just pollen and silver. Oh, I do get headaches from artificial sweeteners, but "allergic" seems like the wrong word. Is there one book you have read over and over again because it’s so good? if so, which is it? The only two books I know I've read more than once are Because of Winn-Dixie and the Meerkat Manor book. Who was your favorite Rugrats character? Uhhh I think it was just regular ole Tommy. Which fairytale resembles your life the most? Uh idk. Do you play games on your phone a lot? No. What’s your favorite thing to do on your phone? Text Sara. Where do you buy most of your clothes? Wal-Mart or Hot Topic. Who is your favorite cousin? I don't have a favorite. Do you have family that lives in another state? Oh yeah, we're all the hell over the place. What states have you lived in? Only NC. Do you watch birth vlogs on youtube? bitch what the fuck What is your favorite type of cake? Red velvet. Favorite arcade game? I neeeeeed to find an arcade one day that actually has the Silent Hill game. It's so rare. I'm sure I'd love it. Have you ever found a roller coaster relaxing? Uh no, but I've never been on one, nor can I even imagine one ever being relaxing. Have you ever seen a spirit? I believe I have. Have you ever been kidnapped? Yikes no. Is there a running trail near your house? Not that I'm aware of. A game you cheated on in elementary school? None that I remember? Do you wear a retainer at night? I'm SUPPOSED to, but I haven't in so long that it doesn't even fit anymore. Where is the last place you had a kiss? The airport. When was the last time you cried out of physical pain? I think it hasn't been since that infected cyst was drained in like late '16. FUCK that. Have you ever done anything to Support the Troops? No. Do you donate blood? I did once, but now I'm too nervous to because I know I don't drink enough water and don't wanna faint. Have you ever owned the socks with toes on them? Ha, yeah, my sisters and I did. They were just a silly gift sometimes. What were you the last time you went trick or treating? WOW I couldn't even try to tell you, that's reaching far back. What was your favorite part about studying ancient Greeks and Romans? The badass names lmao. Where did your mom go to high school? Somewhere in NY. What’s a subject you would never major in? Mathematics. Is there someone who you can turn to for money and not be ashamed? No. I'm only EVER capable of doing so with Mom, but even then I don't like it. Have you ever swam in a river? Yeah, as a kiddo. I don't think I would now. What food do you love the smell of while it’s cooking? Cinnamon rolls omfggggg. What food do you hate the smell of uncooked? Fish, I guess? Has a bee ever stung you? Yes, once. Where did you last go camping? Never been. In what month do you start Christmas shopping? I can't Christmas shop considering I don't have an income. Have you ever slept in a bed with someone with bad BO? Yes. Do you have a favorite flavor at Baskin Robbins? No. Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity of the same sex? HUNNY Hannah Hart is a GODDESS godDAMN What kind of flowers would you plant in your garden? I'm too lazy for a garden. Do you believe that kids should be taught abstinence? I would definitely inform them of it being a completely valid and safest form of STD prevention, but I don't believe it should be what is "right." What's important is educating them on safe sex and to choose whom they're intimate with very carefully. I absolutely encourage them being taught what being "too young" means, too. Now what "too young" is can be argued, but let's be a late teen at least. When’s the last time you went to Chuck E. Cheese? Boy, I don't have a clue. What’s your favorite cheese or cheese flavored food? American. Cheese-flavored food is absolutely impossible to pick. Do you like black licorice? I hate licorice. Do you watch anything on the E! network? No. Have you ever tried out or thought of trying out for American Idol? Nope. Did you keep any momentos of high school dances? I had my... what's it called? The flower band on your wrist? Whatever, I had that for a long time. Do you still have clothes from your high school dances? I have both prom dresses. I'm probably gonna try to sell them this prom season though because I have absolutely no reason to keep them, and I'm poor lmao. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? No. Ever been to the original 13 colonies? I live in NC so like,,, Have you ever been to a concert that got out of control? Nope. Can you jump rope double dutch? I used to be able to as a kid. I loved jump rope. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? Eek... idk. Actually, I might know. I want to know, but also don't, if whether or not how I treated Jason after the breakup was abusive or not. I've asked people in my life, old therapist included, if it was from what I told them (which was honest), and the unanimous answer has been no, that I was sick/actually insane and heartbroken beyond words, but yeah. I still wonder about it. Do you have a bucket list? If so, what are the top three things? Not really, but I mean of course there's things I wanna do, top two (idk about three) being to meet Mark and visit the KMP to photograph and pet the meerkats. Do you feel you had a happy childhood? For the most part, yeah. When did you last cry in front of another person? Last week when I was having a meltdown about school. How do you feel about tattoos and piercings? Explain. I LIVE!!!!!!!! FOR THEM!!!!!!!! As someone who never felt totally comfortable in her body, one thing that has always helped me has been new tats and piercings. It's like a more permanent form of make-up, you could say. All they've ever done is make me like a part of myself. Do you wear a lot of makeup? Why/why not? I almost never do unless I want to take a "pretty" picture. Talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. JINKIES!!!!!!! UHHHHHHH man that's hard 'cuz there's a whole whoppin' load. I guess I can talk about some lyrics from Ozzy's "Life Won't Wait" that used to make me really emotional back in the dark days: "Every day that you wait, you're falling faster / no sleight of hand, no twist of fate, no ever after / when it's gone - it's gone, a fight to the bitter end." Just that whole song used to sting so much when I felt like I really was just entirely wasting my life being sad every day. Just like... a lot of Ozzy's lyrics have really resonated and stuck with me. I still have the hardest time believing the Parkinson's news. God, life's cruel. Poison a legendary singer's voice. I hope, so long he feels truly capable, this concert still happens so I can actually hear and see him one time and literally sob and okay I'm getting emotional basically I Love Ozzy Osbourne. List the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel. Ha, speaking of concerts. Only seen Alice Cooper, but it was aaaaaaamazing! Outside in a (mostly light) thunderstorm playing some classic good shit. It was a fun adventure, especially having my younger sis, a full-on redneck, come along just because she was bored and came for the ride. She was so, so, SO confused and creeped out and was NOT fucking happy when he brought his python on stage as he usually does. We were absolutely drenched when it was over; the ride home, we were freezing, and changing out of those soaked clothes was like a holy experience. Who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say? Jason telling me he forgives me and doesn't hate me. Do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organized/not organized? I don't, sadly. My bed is where I do like... everything, which I hate. I'd love to turn my sister's old room into like my "work" room, where I do homework, draw, etc., but I can't for a number of reasons. What is your night time routine? Go to the bathroom, take my meds, go to bed. Not very complicated. What’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know? Certain places I've "done things" oops. If you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why? I wanna dye my hair lilac currently. I wouldn't change the style. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high? N/A What’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars? Murder, to name just one. If you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? If you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair? My hair is short now. What is the most important thing to you in your life right now? My mental health.

[gwoongi]

𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 | teacher!hoseok

𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 jung hoseok / reader teacher + expecting parents au! genre: fluff fluff fluff (and a lil baby bit of smut) + bullet fic version :) words: 26k (so maybe read this on a laptop but if you insist on a phone then don’t say i didn’t warn you!!!!)

warnings: graphic language, smidge of nsfw content, student/teacher relationship, jung hoseok being the best boyf and parent ever :(

a/n: y/n is legal !!! hoseok is the typical cliche young teacher !!! i love this story a lot (i plan to write it in full soon!!! just whenever i have time teeheehee) ((also im really sorry the balloons look demonic idk what happened and honestly. too lazy to edit it)) (((this fic is a MONSTER!!! i’m sorry in advance!!!)))

disclaimer: as per freaking usual, keep reading does not work on mobile. i am so sorry because this is SO LONG and big but its ok :( because it’s dad hoseok :( 

(gif is not mine!)

happy new year (as a starting note!) i was gone for a long, long time on this blog and did actually consider getting rid of it entirely, however, i’m back to share things that i love and hopefully, you can all enjoy the things i create also. i don’t usually write like this, but i saw a variety of writers adopt a “bullet-list-style” of writing, which i found to be quite efficient. i am the world’s slowest writer and so writing like this actually helps me publish a lot of my ideas without feeling the pressure of writing out like 300k word fics that honestly get ignored. regardless, here’s my first post (technically) of the new year. (this idea has been in my drafts since the “cosykims” days, and og followers will recognise the title.)

now i don’t care what you say, every single school, college or university has that one teacher who is just way too young to actually be a teacher

you briefly remember high-school, with your physics teacher who was just way too young- like borderline could be a student themselves, and yet here they were with their rainbow stationery set teaching you the speed that light travels

and it’s universally known that some people are like child geniuses and end up graduating university aged three or something really bizarre and crazy

(obvs sarcasm)

so, for the love of god...why was there no young hot professor for you to spy on during your lectures

you’re currently a second year uni student, studying visual arts

which, by the way, is awesome

you started off initially very interested in just drawing, but taking modules in sculpting was something you actually found yourself loving and, not to brag, but you’re also pretty good at photography

like as a kid you could probably be found eating crayons and snorting felt fumes like you were an art junkie

kids in your classes were asking for leapfrogs or action figures for christmas but here you were asking for a £300 pencil colouring set along with a “by numbers” colouring book

picasso is shaking rn

like...funny how leonardo da vinci hasn’t released any new artwork since you were born….hm inch resting

“y/n. you, me, some other people, smirnoff and dr pepper, house party, saturday night, is it a yes, or is it a yes?”

jeongguk has been your best friend since your first semester at university; he also took visual arts and does extremely well in all areas, particularly photography and cinema/media study. ever since you partnered together after both being the first ones to turn up to the first class, you’ve been stuck together like glue, even going as far as to rent out a flat together for your second year (along with three other people, just to make the rent easier)

“uh, actually, no, i can’t, as tempting as that whole ordeal sounds.”

“but then when am i gonna see you?”

“i literally see you every day, we LIVE TOGETHER..”

“it’s not the same thing!!”

every saturday for you is the “flat 18 party night” which literally translates to the day that your entire flat go out to any party they can get invited to and just get smashed

it started off as a you and jeongguk thing but then when you moved into flat 18 at the start of your second year, it became a you, jeongguk, haseul, jimin and seunghee thing, and by extension, a year 2 uni student party since the rest of your flatmates found the need to invite all their other friends

basically it was the only day of the week where you were really granted a day off

and jeongguk really fucking loved party night saturdays

“well, what’s the reason then?”- the two of you are currently on your way to your last class of the day; it’s a sort of orientation day for upcoming students who can’t attend the open days next weekend, and so your visual arts professor (who happens to be an actual BEAST) ended up cancelling afternoon classes to help another professor sort out the gym

“family wedding sort of thing,” you explain as you walk. “if i could get out of it, trust me, i wouldn’t. i don’t know if my kidneys can handle another night of drinking. i hadn’t recovered from saturday until wednesday!”

“i’m pretty sure it’s your liver that gets affected by alcohol, but go off i guess...”

“ANYWAYS so yeah i’m sort of maybe like head bridesmaid and i have to be there so….yeah….can't make it :(”

jeongguk then discovers that the wedding is for one of your cousins that you were always really close to, and so even when he’s still really bummed out about you not being there for the “big shindig” he lets it go

especially because he of all people knows that you’ve never been particularly close with all of your family members and it’s only very recently that you got back in touch with them all (just after your first year of uni, to be precise) and he knows how much it means to you

haseul is one of the only other person in your flat who is an “art” major

she actually studies theatre and performing arts but she likes to still be in on the art grind with you and guk

(fun fact: the trio of you called yourselves “art attack” as a funny joke and all have printed art attack door signs in the flat)

haseul always always always tries to wait for both of you after classes because the performance hall and practise rooms are like RIGHT THERE and she’s sort of a little creature of habit and after waiting once or twice it just became a natural thing

today though she’s not waiting because apparently seunghee is doing a biology project and needed help moving it and setting it all up in the labs and haseul was free and so offered her services

usually if you’re free, anyone of you will wait for each other after classes

haseul usually waits for you and guk and then sometimes you guk and haseul go to get seunghee and jimin, especially on thursdays and fridays since they are sort of the weekday party dates

“are we going to see the project after class?”

you glanced up from your canvas stained with reds and blues towards jeongguk who actually hasn’t even looked up from his own drawing, still painting the still life ugly ass vase in the middle of the room

class is actually really quiet today, which makes sense because it’s a friday and there’s always, you know for a fact, a student union get together on thursday evenings and half the uni abuse it and get hammered

and so uni is literally DEAD the next morning

“um yes of course I really wanna see her volcano in action okay i helped make that.”

“technically we all helped make it...”

“well nobody ASKED YOU FOR YOUR OPINION.”

eventually your class ends early because it’s literally just you guk and some other kid who doesn’t talk to anybody and so you and guk decide to head over to the biology labs in the science department

judging by the time, their class should actually be over but knowing seunghee and her stubbornness, her volcano is most definitely still there shooting little rocks onto the floor

rightly predicted because seunghee stands really proud next to her dodgy looking volcano that everyone in flat 18 helped make while off their rockers 

and haseul is awkwardly sitting on a stool to the other side, admittedly on her phone playing zepeto or whatever

“tell me it isn’t the best volcano you’ve ever seen!”

“seunghee, baby, it’s so cute, i LOVE the way it’s literally falling apart!!” jeongguk and seunghee have a super loving friendship, sometimes you sit back and think they’d be the cutest couple on planet earth and then you realise that its GUK and HEE and you wanna erase that thought from your head

guk takes a really quick pic on his phone so he can show jimin, who would definitely complain otherwise because “i literally painted the whole thing brown i think that deserves recognition!”

“please tell me it got a passing grade” 

you sort of need seunghee’s volcanic mess to have passed because you did not have to hear her talk about how excited she was to present her volcano that actually burned things if you put it close enough for six days straight, just for it to flop and get nothing

“i personally loved the reinvented cliche of the volcano model, so i actually gave it higher than passing.”

you turn almost embarrassingly quickly

because

well

you know that voice

everybody with brain cells knows that voice

cause like

professor jung is literally THE biology professor

like he’s the king of biology

you have to admit to yourself that you were secretly so happy when guk made friends with seunghee through jimin (a physics major) because you knew through the grapevine that seunghee was a student in professor jung’s class and everybody and anybody knows that professor jung is the Daddy of biology

like he’s so gorgeous and inventive and creative and passionate and sometimes you just sit there and think “why the fuck didn't i take biology??”

and then you remember that the only thing that helped you get through high school biology was the fact that seo youngho (god bless his soul) sat next to you and gave you all his answers on internal exams

he’s also one of THOSE professors

like he’s one of the cliche fanfiction Young Genius professors

granted he’s still a solid four years older but still, it’s in the legal age frame and he’s still remarkably young to be a uni professor and that’s what you tell yourself when you feel guilty about thirsting over him and the way he looks so damn sexy in that white lab coat and black turtleneck

ANYWAY

when you see him you kind of flush and look away

it’s not obvious that you like him tbh, because you’ve by now mastered to keep it under control unless around flat 18 and incredibly dangerously drunk

that of course doesn’t stop guk from smirking next to you and giving you little nudges which is, quite frankly, annoying as FUCK

tbh flat 18 know you thirst over professor jung and so they waste no time trying to bring it up deliberately, but you’re not obvious at showing you like him in front of him

cause he’s popular and definitely has a group of girls in seunghee’s class who like him a lot and giggle obnoxiously like its high school

you’re not THAT desperate

“oh, good, because i didn’t want it to be a waste of my time.”

he raises a brow

“...becAUse i had to listen to seunghee talk about how good her project was all week. HERS, that she worked on totally alone. like i didnt even know she was doing a project- wow, seunghee, did you make this volcano? wow hahah look at that guys!”

not that professor jung even cares that she got help

seunghee is the only student who respects his crazy biology analogies and jokes so she’s naturally one of his faves

“yeah, and, prof jung didn’t give us homework so im completely free for tomorrow’s big shindig.” seunghee says, still smiling really proudly

“first of all why is everybody saying shindig, second of all i cant go to that so im sorry please don’t post it on snapchat because it will hurt my feelings that you’re having fun without me” and everyones like :) and then like :O :(

bear in mind professor jung is literally still here, he’s just by his desk tidying up only half listening because kids are wild these days and he doesn’t remember having half as much fun when he was in university

“um. WHAT why???? you know saturdays are our days like those are the days we actually get to see you because you’re always in your room sleeping or working”

“that’s not true at all, that’s very inaccurate...”

“you literally watched all 7 seasons of game of thrones in less than three days two weeks ago and i dont think i saw you once during that time”

valid point

“im at a wedding :( and i cant miss it :( even for dr pepper and vodka :( im sorry :(”

at that point professor jung scares you all back into reality. “oh wow that’s so weird because i’m at a wedding too this weekend, actually. wouldn’t that be so weird if we were at the same wedding?”

please be at the same wedding as me “omg imagine that ahhaahha”

but then you realise that’s just not realistic

and even if it was realistic for professor jung hoseok to attend your cousin’s wedding then nothing would happen because weddings are big and busy and you like barely know professor jung beyond making small-talk with him when you’re waiting for seunghee to hurry up and pack away all three of her pencil cases after classes

you actually forgot how stressful weddings are

the last wedding you went to was your aunt’s wedding when you were like five and you were a little flower girl who ruined all the wedding photos by covering her ears and scrunching up her face because the church bells were really fucking loud

which as a kid you thought was perfectly valid, but now that you’re twenty turning twenty one you realise how annoying it must be to have a mongrel child pulling ugly faces at the front of your precious wedding photos

“remind me to never ever get married”

your mom kinda just looks at you and frowns

“i remember when i got married i had my maid of honour and bridesmaids do everything for me so i was actually really relaxed. maybe when you get wifed up you’ll be the same”

wise words from mrs l/n that you’ll probably forget within the next five minutes!

even though it’s so infuriating sorting out the brides big ass dress and making sure that the designated flower girl (who btw is not as good as you were aged 5 dressed in pink and wearing barbie trainers) doesn’t spill all the goddamn petals onto the floor before the aisle, you find that the ceremony is actually really kinda beautiful and touching and yES, maybe the vows made you tear up a little bit

and you bARELY remember the greeting ceremony afterwards which is basically another way of saying “wait for us to get back while we sign these papers” which is also another way of saying It’s time for all the guests to awkwardly wait around and not do anything

you literally haven’t met a single person from the groom’s side of the family and you’re not really interested in doing so until the after party

like most after parties this one is pushed up in a hired out room near the venue and it’s dark and slightly sweaty and hey, at least the food is nice and OMG they have baby sausage rolls

after obviously talking to your family for a little bit, you occupy your time by the snacks and the bar just kind of moving between the two

yknow just minding your own business

“woah, they have tiny sausage rolls, too?”

oh god

you instantly turn around like its deja vu or something

there is no way that professor jung is standing right there at your COUSINS wedding like its no big deal

“...prof JUNG?? omg what are you doing here??”

“i jinxed it! the groom is actually one of my family friends. yeah, he’s been like best friends with my sister since they were in school and so we were close growing up.”

it’s sort of a relief, somewhere deep down inside, knowing that professor jung isn’t like indirectly related to you through marriage

“and, please, y/n, we’re not at school!! please call me hoseok!”

you’re like tearing up inside,,,,on a first name basis with the hot biology professor.,,,,,.....,,, it’s a miracle

also

how does he know who you are

“i didn’t know you knew my name,” you sort of blurt it out as you think it and he starts laughing really cutely and takes like three sausage rolls off the plate on the table

“well, you’re seunghee’s friend! and uh, the bride literally said your name in the speech at dinner.”

“oh. okay well cool haha yeah. wow. this is so weird.”

you actually thought prior to this moment that talking to professor jung- HOSEOK- even when you’re with seunghee in the labs would be really awkward????

because you’re no biologist and the only thing you remember about biology was a video that scarred you for life about a whale's stomach exploding everywhere like the t-rex out of land of the lost

and plus because he’s cute and smart and also a teacher which was. pretty much a big deal...like a big big deal

“okay, but you’re also legally old enough to do it..it’s not like you’re fifteen and he’s thirty,” said the sadistic voice in your head. you liked to ignore that voice a lot

but contrary to popular belief hoseok is actually really really easy to talk to

it’s almost like he’s been your friend for like your entire life and it’s only a little bit weird for you to be laughing your ass off with your friends biology professor at your cousins wedding but hey anything can happen and at least you’re having fun !!!!

naturally…...fun can go…….well…….too far……….sometimes

it’s like quarter to midnight and the party is still going strong and your cousin is like really going for it on the dance floor with your mom and a few of your other family members and oh wow look at this at some point you’ve ended up smushed against hoseok’s side with another glass of smirnoff and dr pepper in honour of flat 18 having fun without you rn

and he doesn’t seem to mind about the way you lean up with your whole cleavage against his chest to talk to him bc its loud as fuck and he can’t hear you from up here

and haha. wow look!

at some point during this fine hour mr jung hoseok has slung an arm around your waist and has his nose in your hair with his lips by your ear because its LoUd As FuCk iN hErE and you won’t be able to hear him

“i said do you want to step outside? its really hot in here” he asks and you have to physically stop yourself from snogging his face off because there’s no way he’s actually looking that good rn

you probably look awful and flustered and sweaty

“oh yes sure yeah ok yeah lets go we can go out to the patio or something”

and of COURSE your poor mother has no idea that the man around your waist is a professor at ur university so she sees you...actually with somebody and smiles really wide and turns away

at this point she’s just shocked that you’re with somebody because lately you’ve only been with flat 18 or nobody at all

you discover very quickly actually that hoseok is stroking his hand up and down the side of your body which okay, alexa, this is epic

“it’s nice and cool out here i thought i was gonna roast to death inside of there.”

hoseok, again with his cute laughter that has apparently become throaty and deep and you almost have to double check it’s still him because it majorly caught you off guard

“right? too many people, it always makes me feel really hot and claustrophobic.”

you hummed. “yeah, and it’s so sweaty and sticky like [cousins name] really couldn’t have opened up a few windows huh.”

he nods and watches you as you just keep talking and talking and talking

“and, let me tell you, this dress is so uncomfortable”

he looks you over. “you look gorgeous. the dress- i mean, the dress looks gorgeous”

“yeah it’s just a shame it’s so itchy and tight”

“mm? wanna go and change?”

“honestly i kind of just want to get out of it.”

you sort of share a look for a solid three seconds

and there’s like a really brief moment where you regret saying it

maybe he hadn’t meant anything by stroking your body and staring at you with a darkened look and holding you tightly when one of your FAMILY MEMBERS said hi to you and smiled and brushing his lips by your ear like maybe all of that was platonic? maybe he remembered you’re a student (although not hIS student) but still!!!!

you’re 0.5 seconds away from blurting out an almost sober apology when he mutters a, “fuck it,” under his breath that you barely even register and then he’s holding your face with his hands and bringing you in for a fat smooch

at first you’re just really surprised because even though you wanted this to happen you weren’t necessarily expecting it to happen

hoseok pulls away sort of dejected because “why aren’t you kissing me back :(” and thats all it takes because you’re pulling him in for round 2 of smooching and it’s almost like you’re not in the courtyard by the patio directly near the windows of the party and it’s not as if people can see you smooching professor jung haha no way! That would be insane!

“i” kiss “really” kiss “shouldn’t” kiss “be” kiss “doing” kiss “this” and he pulls away and then kisses you really really deeply “but” kiss “itsokjustpleasedonttellanybody”

for a moment you both like ruin the mood by assuring each other you won’t say anything and most people at that point would have been like, alright let’s call it a night haha this was fun and awkward

but :( he’s already hard and ur already really in the mood to bone the Daddy of biology so it would be a waste if you didn’t just….continue

hoseok very quickly discovers the perks of being head bridesmaid because your suite is gorgeous and big

“wtf i’m sharing a room with my uncle this really isn’t fair!”

“the many pros of being related to the bride! look i even have a mini fridge and it’s got loads of strawberry milk in because like its my favourite and they really treated me here and-”

not that he doesn’t want to hear you talk because he’d love to but omg he’s hard as heck and would rather get down to it instead of talking about the excessive amount of strawberry milk in ur fucking mini fridge the size of his BED

surprisingly even though you’ve wanted to at least hold professor jung- HoSeOk-’s hand for like an entire year, you haven’t put THAT much thought into having sex with him

well

actually like finger fucking does not count

nor does him between your legs

no they do not count to you in your mind especially when he quite literally helps you out of your dress and strips you to just your underwear

which, BTW, thank FUCK you brought your sexy stuff just in-case the groom had any really hot friends

thankfully he had jung hoseok

y/n: 1 life: 0

rewind like 0.3 seconds

so. hoseok apparently knows this venue like the back of his hand because he manages to direct you to your wing within like three minutes which is pretty impressive considering it took you thirty to find it this morning

regardless he’s really gentle considering he wants nothing more than to plow you into a nearby hard surface and like you know when someone ghosts their fingers over your skin and it tickles but it’s a nice tickle and your whole body shudders

yeah

well

professor jung does that a lot

he takes a liking to sitting on the end of the bed, between the two posts, while you’re firmly seated on his laps with your legs on either side of him, which is the long way of writing You Are Straddling Seunghee’s Biology Professor

“you’re so pretty” his voice is sort of muffled by your hair and skin and you can barely even focus on his voice because there’s so many things happening rn it’s hard to process it all

do you focus on his voice? his one hand on your back? his other hand literally on your arse? his crotch against yours? the little guttural groan he does between kisses?

it all just feels surreal and amazing and oh WOW jung hoseok has a hand between ur legs

he loops his fingers around your underwear and moans (shudders? you can’t tell but whatever he just did like you need him to do it again cause WEEEWWWW) and like lets them go suddenly

and we’re back to before; hoseok moves to dip underneath your jaw and helps you out of your tight and uncomfortable but expensi-

“did. di-did you just . rip my dress?”

“....i swear i didn’t do it on purpose.”

“omg this dress was on loan oh my GOD”

“im SORRY the zip got stuck and so i tugged i didn’t know the whole dress was gonna rip in half this material must be cheap, honey you got SCAMMED”

you realise that you’re not actually going to be the one to pay for it since the bride said she’d cover the prices of dresses and you instantly sort of relax (although, sorry to your cousin that she’s gonna have to pay extra now lol)

“okay it’s fine just” and he clings to you really tightly and affectionately with his chin rested just above your boobs which is honestly cute and actually really weirdly hot “ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ʳᶦᵖ ᵐʸ ᵘⁿᵈᵉʳʷᵉᵃʳ”

he has the nerve to giggle to himself “heeheehee okay baby i will be extra careful”

~~~

basically you make a mental note to tell guk and guk only that you rode professor jung to the stars and back

boi DEFINITELY put biology skills to use like this man must have aced human anatomy and sex ed because mans knows all the parts to look after and touch and kiss and it’s like he digitally downloaded every sex move possible because…..no way in hell u just snagged the best sexual partner in town

“mm fuck i wish i was a biology major” it just sort of comes out, bearing in mind you are like half sober

hoseok kind of laughs from his position and moves his hands to your thighs, “yeah?”

“yes i’m so jealous seunghee gets to see you all the time and i only get to see you when i pick her up”

“you can come and see me whenever, baby”

scoff “i’m an art student wouldn’t it be weird to turn up at a biology lab to see you?”

“i have an office yknow and it’s only open to super important people and i can make you one of them”

you realise shortly after like your second orgasm that hoseok is really good at making mediocre things sound really sexy

at long last you actually look down at him and just grin really widely and at first he’s like “yeah? you like that?” and then you start giggling really weirdly

“best.” down. up. “wedding.” down. up. “ever.”

you consider the possibility that last night was a big fat wet dream for at least four seconds until you open your eyes, see the window, roll over, and see professor motherfucking jung in bed next to you

he hasn’t opened his eyes yet and you think he’s asleep so you roll back over to grab your phone conveniently placed on the bedside table

as it turns out, mr jeon jeongguk has not listened to you and posted every nanosecond of the party last night, as well as leaving you several text messages, as he would, as your bff

from guk: are u having fun? i hope ur having fun. if not, then have fun

from guk: i guess ur dead lmao

from guk: sikegjsfkasljf i madmeout with both seujgehe and jikmin

from guk: ignore the above message

from guk: also good morning did you have fun did u get LAID was it a girl or a guy i need all the juicy details

you have to conceal a groan because you don’t want to wake up hoseok

you haven’t thought of something to say yet because worst case scenario, he could wake up and be like “wtf i slept with YOU??????” and that would not be chill for a sunday morning

to guk: im devastated bc of ur snapchat story that’s real snake behaviour

from guk: omg grow up

from guk: and answer my question horre

to guk: i will talk to you later because i am not talking to u about it over the phone bc knowing you and your monster thumbs and chaotic energy, you’ll screenshot and tell everyone in the flat and im not ready for them to know yet

there’s a few moments of silence

from guk: oh fuck tell me ur not pregnant im not ready to be an aunt or uncle yet (x)

you’re about to reply when

oh

wait

did you use a condom last night

you’ve been off the pill for a couple months because even though not getting periods or pregnant was pretty cool, your skin really suffered and oh hey look at that you’ve put on like 4 pounds overnight

and you can’t really remember if hoseok wore a condom or not

did he?

he must have

like he’s a biology teacher

surely

yeah

to guk: wtf no

to guk: and how would i even know that it hasnt even been 24 hours yet this isnt breaking dawn im not gonna show after like 12 minutes

from guk: you never know

“all i can hear is your nails tapping the screen and it’s literally amongst one of the most annoying sounds to wake up to”

oof

you drop your phone flat on your face

hoseok sort of both reaches to see if you’re okay whilst also laughing

“i’m sorry i didn’t know they were that loud”

he smiles and strokes the side of your face “mm it’s okay. woke up next to a pretty girl so it’s not so bad”

and it’s official he owns your heart

neither of you actually really address the fact that your whole...THING is really taboo until he’s like fishing around for his left sock and you’re moping over your ripped dress

“so like does this mean i can’t come to pick up seunghee anymore because it’ll be weird?”

he pauses. “why would it be weird?”

“idk cause like. idk. you’re a teacher?”

“really? fuck, i had no idea!!!”

“i’m being serious. i don’t wanna be the reason you LOSE your job!! and i’m so bad at keeping secrets what if i tell someone worse what if i tell my MOM”

he’s moved towards you as you were talking and he’s looking at you really closely with a really pretty look in his eyes

“y/n, i’m a teacher and i’m a professional. i can contain my...whatever, emotions, while i’m at work. and yes, please, come by and get seunghee because she’s one of my favourites and i don’t think i’ll see you often because you’re in visual arts and im always in my lab but my office! yes i have an office that you can always stop by when you’re bored and if i’m free i will happily see you :( it’s unfortunate that you happen to be a student but technically….like you’re old enough and it’s not that weird?”

pause

“okay it’s a little weird but if you want it can be just one night. we can ignore it happened.”

you really don’t want to ignore it

like you really don’t want to at all

hoseok easily was the best sex you’ve ever had and ugh he’s so nice and pretty and warm and caring and smart and yeah he made a joke about cells during sex but it was perfectly timed and funny and ugh he’s the perfect guy

but he’s also a professor at your university and above all else, you really don’t want him to lose his job that he worked his ass of for just because you couldn’t control yourself

so you sort of suck in a frown very poorly and you both agree to kind of...let it be pushed under the rug

it was a one time….two-time thing

because he definitely fucked you into the mattress one last time before you walked out the door and acted like teacher and student again

“you look...disgusting, give me all the gossip!”

you’ve barely been in flat 18 for five seconds and jeongguk is already at the door with a glass of water and a bag of what you can only pray is cookies

(nice attempt: it’s actually tiny meringues which is good enough)

as usual jeongguk cradles a hangover right into monday morning and thankfully for you, haseul and himself, arts lectures and classes don’t usually start until the afternoon on mondays

even though haseul is 77% sure she wont turn up because she’s way too comfy in her pjs on the couch in the living room

and honestly the pressure of telling jeongguk about what the hell happened on saturday night is intense because….haseul is there too now

which isn’t ideal to be very very honest

and haseul is literally your Girlfriend like she would be there to wipe your arse if you asked her nicely

but she can also be a little bit judgy and you’re feeling particularly sensitive today

but you also can’t not tell her because she’s one of your best friends and you’re probably definitely going to tell hee and jimin when they’re back so. might as well do it fast

you trust flat 18 with your entire heart and you know they’d never tell anybody

((this is not foreshadowing they are little angels))

“holy fuck you’re literally covered in hickeys, this story is gonna be so good, let me get a cup of tea before you start holy shit-” and so haseul makes three cups of tea and sits back down like ten minutes later

“okay im ready literally LAY it on me im ready”

deep breath

sip of tea

setting the cup down

“so i went to my cousins party. pretty normal right, not expecting much to go down at all like it’s a family wedding and there’s kids around”

“yeah, right, okay, AND”

“and so i’m minding my own business by the snack table and then somebody comes up to me and YOU’LL NEVER EVER GUESS WHO IT WAS”

they both sit there like “how am i supposed to know?”

deep breath

“i turn around and it’s only PROFESSOR JUNG”

pause

“wait wtf why was he at your cousins wedding?” haseul is so lost

“HE did say he was going to a wedding last week,” jeongguk adds. “that’s so weird omg he literally called it wow haha he’s so cool”

“right right, but like how is that the tea,” haseul frowns. “that’s like...cold stale tea. i wanted scorching hot tea. there’s GOT to be more to it”

you sit there awkwardly and wait for them to figure it out because haseul is looking at you really intently trying to figure it out

jeongguk is looking back and forth between you and haseul

he knows she’ll figure it out before him because out of the three of you, haseul has the brain cells

haseul literally just stares at your face until she kinda looks down at your neck

and remembers the hickies

and then looks back up at your face

and then back down

and them back up

...

“oh my fucking god you DIDN’T”

“wait what what what WHAT HAPPENED”

“oh my fuckING GOD. OMG. OH MY GOD??????/ NO, NO.”

jeongguk is like O_O “what omg tell me”

you’re holding your face in your hands rn

haseul is up off her seat and pointing a finger at you with her mouth so wide

she looks kinda like the pikachu meme

0o0

“Y/N SLEPT WITH PROFESSOR JUNG”

jeongguk laughs

“....wait WHAT THE FUCK”

chaos ensues

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SLEPT WITH PROFESSOR JUNG I LITERALLY CAN’T BREATHE”

“i didn’t say that!”

“what, so you DIDN’T sleep with professor jung?”

“...okay so maybe i did but you can’t tell ANYONE PLEASE”

jeongguk is literally laughing his ass off rn

because he’s your best friend and honestly that’s what best friends would do in this situation

haseul on the other hand is the responsible friend who’s thinking of the bigger picture

“holy shit, okay. um. wtf he could get sacked for this!”

“we talked it out and we promised to not tell anyone, and it’s not like we’re gonna hook up again so it’s fine!!!! which is why you both cant say anything PLS”

haseul moves to sit by you really comfortingly, “omg baby no i would never!!! it’s not my secret to tell and YES, i’m very surprised right now and i don’t really know what to do because what SHOULD i do??? this has never happened to me before omg this is insane. this is fuckING INSANE”

you end up having to explain the entire night in detail (missing a few details because let’s be real, you were hammered and dick drunk)

jeongguk has calmed down and now realises that this is sort of serious

mostly he’s just finding it funny that you actually ended up hooking up with professor jung, because you and him used to joke around about it all the time

even though he was initially quite childish about it, jeongguk knows that it’s serious and something that is clearly bothering you so he knows when to pack it in and be the supportive friend

because gukkie is a good friend and oh no we’re dropping all the uwus everywhere

“was it good?”

yes, haseul it was good

“was it SAFE?”

you’re about to answer jeongguk and then you pause

“....i don’t know”

and haseul’s off again

“holy mother of hell what do you MEAN you don’t know???”

“i can’t remember!!”

“and you didn’t ask the morning after???”

“im sorry he was too busy rearranging my GUTS it must have,,,crossed my mind”

now haseul has another thing to worry about on top of midterms

to flat 18: IAHUIIGJKSFDLIHGDJKSF Y/N SLEPT WITH PROFESSOR JUNG

from y/n: JEONGGUK WHAT THE FUCK

from y/n: WHY WOULD YOU TELL THEM OVER TEXT I WANTED TO TELL THEM IN PERSON

from guk: IM SORRY I THOGGHT WE WERE TELIJG THEM

from y/n: jesus christ

from jimin: um

from jimin: WHAT

from jimin: PLEATHE tell me its hot biology professor jung and not ugly middle aged literature professor jung because else my reaction is gonna be vERY different

from y/n: wtf why would i want to sleep with literature jung he’s like 50 and married

from guk: wait omg what if hot prof jung is married….did you ask

from y/n: let me move my bang and read that again,,,,

from jimin: i literally cant breathe MY LUNGSSSSS

from jimin: WHAT KINDA FANFICTION IS THIS RN how and when and why did u sleep with him i have SO MANY QUESTIONS i should be studying for my physics midterm rn but whatyueijgn this is too good

from y/n: this is why i wanted to tell u in person

from seunghee: WHATHGRJENS SJF WHAT THE FUCK

from seunghee: I JUST FUCKING SCREAMED IN MY BIOLOGY LECTURE AND HAD TO LEAVE

from seunghee: TELL ME UR JOKING RN

from y/n: :D heehee. um. haha. well haha. uh

from seunghee: I CANT LOOK AT PROF JUNG THE SAME WAY ANYMORE

from seunghee: omg….u had his PEEPEE inside of u….holy shit i need to sit down rn

from haseul: mood

from guk: she did THAT :’)

from seunghee: i mean…..when we joked around and said you should hop on professor jung’s dick i didnt think you’d DO IT FOR REAL

from y/n: it was the dr pepper u guys…..he made me do it

from seunghee: oh god professor jung came out to see if i was okay and i screamed i cant look at him i cant

from seunghee: omg he was in ur GUTS i cant im dropping biology

you dont immediately see professor jung

in fact you try and avoid him because even though you both agreed to not hook up again you’re afraid that the demon inside you will try and jump him and knowing you, a professor will probably end up catching you

and you like uni you dont wanna leave

and you like hoseok you don’t want him to leave and lose his job

flat 18 have calmed down from the initial shock and humour of the situation

i mean they’re all still in disbelief that it happened

and jeongguk and jimin make jokes about it sometimes

but it’s calmed down

it’s actually like a full week before you see him

because all of flat 18 for some reason offered to help on the open day for uni, party night saturday had to be cancelled >:(

seunghee shudders at the thought of being one of the only biology volunteers and having to pretend like she doesn’t know that her professor was balls deep inside her best friend last weekend

jimin and seunghee are together in the science department and haseul is happy performing for families checking out the performance department

jeongguk was asked to help promote the art department

and you were forced into giving campus tours :(

which sucks

because you have to try and pump out your best energy for the day

due to the amount of students doing tours on the same day, you’re only really expected to give one tour before going to your selected department

and you wouldn’t actually mind giving tours if it didn’t mean that you had to go everywhere on campus and by everywhere you mean having to go to the science department and inevitably seeing the brief love of your life

“..and right here is the art department! as an art student i sure have a lot to say about it- everyone is super duper nice and all-well, MOST of the professors are really helpful and critical and i’ve really improved drawing since i’ve been here. we do a lot of still life in this room but next door is the main drawing room and just off campus, we have the drawing labs!!! and oh, downstairs is the photography department; we have a red room and three studios and next door is the cinema”

“do you get to watch films?”

“technically no but when nobody is looking we do watch a film heeheehee i mean. what? no we would never break the rules..,,.”

you give jeongguk a cheeky bum shake before you leave and he laughs

yes an old man sees and scowls but it’s ok

“so yea like i said, the staff are friendly and mostly helpful. i mean, there are obviously some professors who aren’t amazing but hey we have a higher rating than other unis in this area so haha”

“mostly helpful?” a mom says. “can you elaborate on that?”

“not really, karen.”

after hurling your group around everywhere, you FINALLY make it to the science department

which you came to last because you were not prepared to see You Know Who

anyway

you step inside and start listing off things in the department

like Oh yes jackie look that’s called a bunsen burner

Oh michael sweetie don’t touch the gas taps we don’t wanna die now do we?

“our uni has some of the best science professors,” you explain. “they’re incredible and so dedicated to their profession and it’s really a great environment- two of my flatmates study science and they love their classes and lectures. professor min teaches physics and my friend jimin says he teaches it like no other- he’s amazing!”

“and what about professor jung?”

what

“ᵉˣᶜᵘˢᵉ ᵐᵉ?”

“what do you think of professor jung, hm?” WHY IS THE HM SOUNDING A LITTLE CONFRONTATIONAL

you stare at this mom like OoO because this is weird there’s no way she kNOWS how does this mom know omg did you say something dumb how does she--

“i heard he wrote books and went on tv! he also attended conferences at oxford uni,” the mom says, almost annoyed and your heart goes WOOOOOSH out your body. “my son wants to study biology and so we’re excited to see and hear about professor jung.”

“oH yes RIGHT well he’s...well he’s great.”

“can you elaborate-”

“no susan i can’t. let’s just go and meet him, yeah?”

inside the science rooms open for showing, you’re oddly relieved to see another tour group just finishing up meaning that half of the professors are preoccupied already

that includes hoseok in his cute ass lab coat talking to a group of students and parents

suddenly that female student is standing very close to him and you have to look away before you get annoyed for literally no reason

y/n: 1 life: 1

seunghee is actually free talking to jimin and professor min (jimins weirdly hot professor) sees you standing awkwardly in the doorway and he comes to the rescue with a small smile and nods his head at you

wow jimin never told you how pretty he was

scary as fuck

but pretty

“hi! welcome to the science department…”

you kind of step to the side because science is not your subject this is not your element and you dont wanna mess up

while seunghee is so happy showing off her booth and YES the volcano made an appearance, jimin is content with not doing his job and coming to stand with you

“is it just me or is prof jung looking delicious today?” jimin sort of nudges you in the side and you have to give him a sickeningly sweet smile that translates to You’re Getting Your Ass BEAT Later

“...and we do all sorts of projects to help us constantly develop our skills!!! and it’s actually a really good way at making friends and bonds-” a few parents laugh “-and actually, two of my flatmates are here over there--”

oh great eyes are on you and jimin :)

jimin smiles like :) hell yes :) thats me :)

and you’re flushing as fuck because 1) you don’t really do well with being the center of attention like having to speak and tour people around campus is BAD ENOUGh and 2) hoseok has just been made aware of your presence

you’re trying not to look at him like :) i’m not here :)

“-they helped me make this volcano!!!! and it’s so cute!!! look- it shoots rocks- oh, careful sweetie- look!!! it’s so cool y/n helped me a lot and i got a good grade and we do loads of this sort of stuff, haha, prof jung really works us to the bone but makes it super fun at the same time!!!”

braving a chance to look at him you clam up noticing that he’s already looking at you

he does that THING where he smiles and his eyes look really soft and warm and he ducks his head to look at the other parents and stuff

jimin contains a snort and seunghee is like o_o because she had to witness that LOOK as if she wasn’t trying hard enough to forget about what happened

professor min looks between you and hoseok like “-_-” and you wanna DIE

ALRIGHT MICHAEL PUT ON THE GAS TAPS BACK ON LET’S FUCKING DIE TONIGHT

hoseok manages to talk to you before you leave though which is smooth and you can feel your heart in your vagina literally pulsing as he approaches you and jimin

“having fun?”

you smile like :) how is giving tours :) fun :)

“i guess so!!”

“hey thats good!” he replies enthusiastically. “looks like people like the volcano you helped make.”

“....i didn’t make that. seunghee lied i did not help her on her graded project We did not help I don’t know why she would say that”

and he kind of laughs and forgets where he is and his hand touches your back

jimin chokes

you sort of look at him like OoO BRO

he pulls away so FAST like you’re on fire or something

“it’s okay. it’s a pretty volcano.” clears throat. “a-anyways. have a nice day guys.”

he looks like he wants to say something more but cant really afford to, so he sulks away and talks to more parents

“omg….he just had sex with you again” jimin said quietly. “omg. that was wild”

“he literally touched me what are you TALKING ABOUT”

“can’t believe you just did that….right in front of me….”

“literally SHUT UP RIGHT NOW OMG”

again you don’t see prof jung often

you see him a couple of times when you wait for seunghee

its been a hot minute, like a few weeks

he doesn’t speak much but when he does it’s like “oh hi y/n! waiting for seunghee?” or “you can come in for a bit while seunghee packs up” or “plans for the weekend?”

once you dumbly said “i miss you” before you left and both prof jung and seunghee are like “oh hoe you didnt”

“huh?” he asks.

“I said i’ll see you,” you say. “like...i don’t know. see you soon? i guess”

he knows what you really said

he raises his brow’s and laughs and’s like, “me too, y/n. i’ll see you both soon. enjoy your weekend!”

“you’re literally so dumb,” seunghee says whilst walking back to the dorm, “like really so fucking dumb. i MISS YOU??? REALLY? THAT’S ALL YOU SAID??? I’M LIVING OFF CRUMBS HERE”

“wtf do you MEAN???”

“yknow he always asks me, “how are your friends? y/n, the others?” like why would he ask about you...unless he missed you too….and wanted to see you…..omg you’re both really so dumb”

you think about that for a while

back at flat 18, everybody is out of classes for the weekend; jimin is finishing up an essay so he won’t have to do it last minute monday morning, haseul is watching vines on her phone and guk is currently eating the peaches that you were craving and wanted to eat so bought and stored away for later

later as in now

he offers you one but afterwards you feel like…?? weirdly nauseous

“do you need some water?” guk is on alert rn “i swear i didn’t poison you or anything!!!!!”

“i...literally didn’t even think you had but now that you’ve brought it up…”

like this sickness is so sudden you just wanna throw up all your internal organs

“you should go to bed,” haseul says and she’s like rushing to you to push you towards your room. “i will get a hot water bottle ready and blankets and oh- actually no, you can’t risk eating in-case it makes you feel worse. at least try and eat like these bland ass biscuits seunghee brought because then you’ll throw up something instead of nothing. are you okay, did i ask if you were okay? are you?”

the best thing about flat 18 is that they’re like a little tight family and if one of you is sick, they become worried parents and it’s so cute

anyway so you stay in bed for the rest of the day

and most of saturday morning

flat 18 are debating whether or not to really go out on saturday but you groggily tell them to just go and have fun and you’ll stay at home :( crying :( watching peaky blinders on netflix :(

haseul and seunghee decide to stay in with you for a girls night while jeongguk and jimin head to their friend taehyung’s dorm

at some point during a very intense sex scene between tommy shelby and some random woman you don’t care about currently, you feel a very intense wave of sickness

OFF TO THE BATHROOM YOU GO!!

as you’re throwing up you’re thinking over every possible reason for being sick

food poisoning?

flu?

and then you pause mid heave

could…..could you be pregnant?

omg no

wait omg yes you totally could be

you panic so much that you throw up again

seunghee and haseul are right outside the door asking if you need anything and haseul comes in to hold your hair and seunghee is rubbing your thigh like “honey please what do you need?”

sheepishly you look at her and squeak out, “i don’t think im sick.”

seunghee’s like “well obviously you are you’re throwing up like crazy right now, oh, yeah, okay baby yeah let it out let it all out” 

makes mental note to buy air-freshener

after throwing up you just hAVE to ask

“hee...i need you to go out and get me something”

“sure honey, anything. what do you need?”

“......i need you to get me a pregnancy test.”

haseul and seunghee share a look

“are you serious?” seunghee’s voice is really gentle and quiet

“yes i need to be sure,” your voice is croaky and you keep crying in between each word and seunghee just squeezes your thigh assuringly and nods

“y-yeah, of course, wow, oh my god, okay. i’ll go and get one- no, wait, haseul should i get three? is three the safe number?”

“yeah. three is safe. like, you do an experiment three times to get a fair result and the test could read wrong”

“please stop talking about science im actually really scared right now”

seunghee is already half out the flat with her keys when she says, “do you want me to call guk and jimin?”

and you debate it but knowing guk he’d have a meltdown and tell taehyung what’s going on and it’s supposed to be a private sort of thing

and what gives you might not Actually be pregnant

“have you missed your period?” haseul asks

“yeah but i thought” sniff “it was just late :( my periods are always irregular but if i did the math” hiccup “right then it should have come four days ago :(”

seunghee comes back with three pregnancy tests

(“the cashier said, ‘oh, good luck dear! you look like you’ll be a wonderful mother!’ like HONEY IM NOT LOOKING FOR KIDS I’M TOO YOUNG” “s-seunghee-eeEEEeee im also too young what am i gonna doOOooOoooo i cant do this”)

they both promise to be in there with you while you find out because you’re literally sobbing and shaking and lets be real, they’ve showered with you like ten times and they’ve seen all your bits and pieces and it’s just pee! everybody pees

you’re sitting down in a ball shape by the bathtub like TERRIFIED of looking at the little stick

“is it...professor jung’s?” seunghee asks quietly

“he’s the only person i’ve slept with in like three years, i’m positive it’s his,” you reply. “if im even pregnant, that is…”

haseul rubs your arm lovingly. “want to take a look? should be done by now.”

it takes you a few minutes and then eventually you nod

well

here goes nothing!!!!!

you peer over at the stick and like

your heart drops

maybe you wanna throw up again

all three sticks say: PREGNANT: 5 WEEKS

“what’s it say?” haseul asks gently and you set down one of the tests and look back at seunghee and haseul with an unreadable expression

“congrats. you’re gonna be an auntie.”

haseul is the first to crack

it felt weird to have friends excited?? about your second year of uni pregnancy? unplanned accidental pregnancy with a bIOLOGY PROFESSOR AT UR UNI????

but haseul brings you in for a hug with an excited laugh and seunghee braves taking a stick in her hand and looks at it for herself

yep, you’re having a baby all right!!!

everything is fine until you realise the big problem

how the hell are you going to tell hoseok you’re carrying his baby

does he want kids? probs not! and you never asked if he was married?? WHAT IF HE ALREADY HAS KIDS? WHAT IF HE HAS A WHOLE FAMILY??????

then you start crying

“omg, y/n, please don’t cry, it’s okay, we’re going to figure something out!”

“you don’t necessarily have to keep it if you dont want to,” haseul points out, even though you know she’s already planning dates to look after baby y/n when it’s been pushed out into the world

“h-how am i gonna tell h-hoseok that im having his baby….and i dont wanna get r-rid of it i dont wanna hurt this baby i love this baby i only just f-found out about it but i want this baby i wanna look after this baby this is my BABY?? im having a baby holy fuck you guys! im gonna be a mom this is so scary what the fuck am i gonna do????”

seunghee makes a call to jeongguk and jimin asking them to come back with ice-cream because they have things to talk about

jeongguk is worried like “oh god did i leave my underwear on the couch again? i said i was sorry and i thought id moved them this time”

and seunghee says, “um...no but now im going to double check the couch...dont forget the ice-cream BYEEEE”

needless to say that they’ve very VERY surprised to come home and discover that they’re gonna be uncles

and that the baby belongs to the Daddy of Biology

“i………..what did i miss while i was gone wtf you’re PREGNANT?”

“omg i’m gonna be an uncle??????? really?????? reAlly!!!”

of course the big issue right now is telling hoseok about it

like what are you supposed to do? go up to him and be like Hey hot stuff you’re gonna be a dad!! Happy Monday!!

“if he doesn’t want to help look after it, i would be happy being the adoptive dad of your baby,” jimin offers, staring at your stomach for the fifth straight hour. “because i love you and i also like babies.”

“aw, min, i love you too, but if hoseok doesn’t want to be the dad to this baby, i was already planning to ask guk because GOD KNOWS you would be the worst at looking after kids- dont look at me like that, i know you i CAN SEE THE TYPE OF PERSON YOU ARE!”

you decide to skip classes on monday and only head out when you need to

and by “need to” i mean you decided that today would be the day you told hoseok

you had the whole of sunday to think over it and seunghee helped you devise a plan

hoseok has office hours from around 3pm to 9pm on mondays and her class finishes at 2:45pm, and apparently people use his monday office hours on the evening so “you should probably come then, and you and him can talk in his office where it’s more private!”

and thank god seunghee has the brain cells in this friendship because you were about to announce it in the open and you doubt that mr min would be thrilled to hear his colleague knocked up a visual arts second year student

it’s 2:30pm and you leave the flat to make it to campus for around 2:37pm

it doesn’t take long at all to walk across campus to the science department and so you’re a little bit early to seunghee’s class because they’re still clearing up by the time you get there

the science department has chosen to smell like a hospital even more today and you shudder, already mulling over the idea that you could be going to a hospital soon to get baby scans and then eventually labour and holy fucking SHIT you’re gonna have to push this thing out of your vagi-

the class leaves at 2:45 on the dot (because hoseok likes to let his kids out early because he’s a cool teacher and apparently nothing like the grouchy art teachers in your department) and actually, today seunghee hasn’t turned up to class so you’re sort of waiting for nobody rn

just >:) as >:) planned

when everybody else has gone you head inside really quietly

hoseok hears you anyway and looks over really quickly and smiles so wide like :D

“y/n! how are you!”

“haha yeah im just great professor like really Uh yeah doing great”

“seunghee’s actually not here today. i thought you guys lived together, didn’t you know that?”

and you’re like like “uh yeah i knew. i’m, well, i’m actually not here for her. i’m here for you.”

hoseok is vERY VERY CONFUSED

“is everything ok?”

you smile at him as a way of reassuring him

on the inside you’re like oh hoseok sweetie you have no idea what’s coming

“yeah. i asked seunghee what time your office hours were and she said from around 3 to 9? and obviously, its like five to three and so i am early but. look i just- i really need to speak with you.”

he stands up quickly. “is something wrong?”

“i’m not sure yet,” you reply honestly. “shall we. um. can we go to your office?”

he blinks. “oh! yeah, sure, let me get- my coat and yeah let’s go. i’ll lead the way.”

along the way you just so happen to bump into professor min and he smiles at hoseok and then at you and he’s like “oh? miss l/n, what are you doing here? i didn’t know you took science?” (he only knows who you are because of the open day)

“Oh, no i don’t. um. well,” you pause. cause what are you supposed to say???? “i’m just getting some work for seunghee. she’s...sick and bedridden, so, here i am!”

professor min is just like “huh. okay well have fun i’m going to take a nap in my office :D” and leaves

hoseok’s office is surprisingly clean and cute and there’s flowers everywhere and a cute little yellow rug and you stop to just take in how this room is hoseok in Room Form

like a room has never looked so much like a person it’s him as a room and you love it

“i didn’t really clean up because i didn’t expect anybody- especially you- to be coming. uh, here, let me just close the door. want to sit?”

you take up the offer and sit on the couch opposite his desk and he sits on the desk looking at you really worriedly. “is...everything okay?”

he wants to ask if somebody found out, but at the same time, he really doesn’t want to make you think that he was like repulsed by having sex with you because it was The best sex of his life and he’s not afraid to admit that

“yes. i just” sigh. might as well get on with it. “how long has it been since the wedding?”

hoseok pauses. thinks. “well...i mean, like, probably six weeks? yeah, six weeks. why?”

“okay, and usually, what does it mean when a woman misses her period?”

“wha- well, sometimes it could be an irregular cycle. but it’s usually because they’re conceiving...”

hoseok really doesn’t wanna overthink but...like….he’s overthinking rn

“and how long does it take for them to start showing?”

“well someone can know that they’re pregnant as early as four weeks, usually. although 50% of women say they show at five, and 70% said they show symptoms at six weeks-”

there’s a beat of silence

you worriedly look at hoseok and he’s just. quiet

you can see the clogs moving in his head and his eyes are flitting up from your stomach to your face repeatedly and wow he’s gone a bit pale?

“i...what?”

“i’m...i’m pregnant.”

“i…” he starts to speak but literally stops and he’s just really quiet

you can feel your eyes filling up because oh god he doesn’t want the baby you’ve ruined his LIFE

but really he’s just thinking really hard rn

like

omg

a beautiful girl he likes is carrying HIS BABY

A BABY HE HELPED MAKE

and then he’s like but shes a student at my uni is this weird? its weird its wrong but i love babies and ‘im gonna be a dad????? and she’s really pretty????? and i like her?????? and that’s my kid??????????

you’re seriously about to cry and be like its ok if you don’t want it i can look after it alone and my flat are okay with it i just would want some help like maybe a little bit just for the first few months when he moves from the desk towards you and drops to his knees between your legs

“is- is it mine?”

“what- of course it’s yours!”

“i’m sorry! i didn’t want to assume!!!”

“i wouldnt be here if it wasn’t yours!”

he huffs out a laugh and then just starts smiling so wide

“omg are you actually pregnant? really?”

and then you start laughing like “YES omg why would i lie here’s a test for proof i was crying a lot over the weekend.”

now that he has concrete evidence hoseok is getting a bit excited about this

above all circumstances he is gonna be a dad and wow he’s always wanted a family!!

you’re so relieved that he’s happy :)

but then he has to think realistically about this: you’re still a student, probably barely twenty one, and he’s a professor and things will be extremely complicated

he debates whether or not to tell professor min

because yoongi has been his friend forever and he actually helped him get the job at this uni and he probably wouldn’t judge him for it because he had seemed excited when hoseok told him about the wedding night (obviously spared of the details that the best Pussy of his life was miss y/n l/n)

“do...do you want to keep it?”

you look at him like OnO “yes :( is that okay”

“YES omg it’s okay!!! that’s our BABY!!!”

ok he’s so excited

“this is so weird and i never ever thought this would happen but!!!!!! i’m gonna be a dad???”

“yes!!!”

then

“wait fuck are you married or anything?” you have to ask it’s been bugging you all weekend. “because i’m happy with raising a baby with you but i don’t think i can handle telling ur wife or whatever that we had sex at a wedding.”

he finds this really funny

“no, i’m not married. i was drunk at the wedding but not drunk enough to cheat on someone :( i would never do that :(”

well. 

THAT COVERS IT THEN

now he has to make plans to like. get to know you because there’s no way in hell his baby is gonna grow up with complicated parents like he wants his kid to have the best life ever :(

hoseok now also has to come to terms with the fact that seunghee knows he had sex with her best friend and is having a baby with her and now he’s horrified

“you did wHAT”

hoseok decided against his better judgement to tell yoongi about what’s going on

since you told your entire flat about it he figured it was only fair that he could also tell somebody he trusted

he has a couple of friends outside the department who he really trusts, like namjoon and seokjin, two married professors who teach literature and creative writing, and sociology, respectively, who will eventually find out, whenever he’s figured out what he’s going to do

considering everything, yoongi isn’t that put off by the fact that he knocked up a student

i mean, yes he’s shocked that it was you of all students ever and then he pieces together you going into his office and the way he had literally described you as “artistic and fascinating” and fucking hell he should have realised sooner

“i...kind of got her pregnant. which- before you yell at me, isn’t the end of the world because we’re both willing to give it 110%!”

“yeah i dont give a fuck about that- i’m still on about the fact that you came back here after that wedding and told me all the raunchy details about you and y/n and i called it hOT and now i find out its a student i KNOW?????? oh my god i need to lie down again.”

(he takes it well, and congratulates him)

meanwhile you’re already making plans to tell your family about it but you want to do it after the first scan

seunghee has done so much research on pregnancy that she was worried the school would catch on by reading the wifi bill and seeing that all she ever googles is “how big is a baby at six weeks?” or “when should i go for a baby scan?”

she seems to think that twelve to fourteen weeks is a good time to get the baby scan and that you’ll probably start showing by then which is the PERF time to tell everybody about it

at the moment you’re not too worried about telling your family

your mom is pretty understanding and your dad has been out of the picture for a while now, and you’re the baby sibling so at least she still has an older daughter to brag about

because from now on it’s gonna be “yeah this is my eldest she’s a LAWYER and this is my youngest haha she fucked her biology professor”

not that she’d use those words

you’re actually more afraid of what people at uni are gonna think when you start showing because you’re not really up for missing out a whole 9 months just to be a year behind your friends

and morning sickness was so awful this morning that you just couldn’t be bothered to go in for class today

thankfully it was just a free sort of day where kids either did the art marathon or worked for their midterms so you could sort of afford to miss a day

guk went to class for an hour before coming back to the flat and haseul didn’t have classes that day so once again, art attack squad just had a nice day at home

haseul is most concerned about the baby and the baby’s health and so went through a crazy moment of trying to eliminate foods that are bad for you during pregnancy

“where’s all my chocolate gone?” “well i moved it so that you can limit yourself on what you eat! chocolate isn’t great for your skin and you should probably start eating healthy if you want the little honey to be nice and healthy when they arrive!”

haseul has money on it being a little girl

guk and seunghee want it to be a boy and jimin is the type of person to have no opinion until the baby is born and then proceeds to say, “see! i told you it would be a boy/girl!”

since you last saw hoseok, he hasn’t really decided what he’d like them to come out as yet; yoongi wants it to be a girl, though

seunghee actually went to class and ended up waiting behind afterwards to give him all the updates

“is she doing okay?” “yES she’s amazing and the baby is doing so well too!!! i mean it’s only been about seven weeks and so y/n is like barely showing, but he’s about the size of a blueberry! isn’t that cute?”

then she pauses and is like, “wait...we live off campus so like. do you want to maybe come round? and see her? i think she’d appreciate seeing you.”

“ᶜᵃⁿ ᶦ?” hoseok is really excited because yeah he does like you and he’d see you whenever he could but 1) he didn’t know how to contact you and 2) where do you even live because if its on campus he definitely can’t pop round and be like “wassup where’s my baby mama”

anyway he comes round with her and you’re very unprepared to see hoseok and seunghee step through the front door

jeongguk is like midway through kissing your tummy over and over and haseul is on amazon looking at baby clothes because she “has to be ready for any opportunity”

of course anything can happen and she’s praying that nothing bad happens because she just found the cutest bear onesie ever and OOPS its in her cart

“it’s,” gesturing to guk and his lips on your stomach, eyes wide, “not what it looks like!”

but hoseok just laughs and puts down his bag and is like, “hehe i know. how are you!”

guk clears out to another part of the couch and decides that he has to, before he dies, see a y/n and hoseok interaction and he can hardly contain his excitement when hoseok sits down next to you and looks at you with a fond ass expression

“good! i had a little bit of morning sickness, but i’m okay. how are you?”

and hoseok’s like well i’m not currently carrying a baby im fine of course i’m fine i want to know about you

because it came to his attention when he was with yoongi earlier that he really doesn’t know anything about you PERIODT

and he wants to know everything and anything

at that point guk takes his leave and he, haseul and seunghee go to the kitchen to give you and hoseok some of your own private space

“i cant believe professor jung is in my living room right now...”

“I WALKED ACROSS CAMPUS WITH HIM GUK I WAS FREAKING OUT THE ENTIRE TIME!!!”

meanwhile you and hoseok are taking the moment to get to know each other

because in about 9 months time or whatever you’re gonna be parents

so you gotta know everything

hoseok learns a lot of things about you: your love for chocolate, that strawberry milk is your favourite flavour, your favourite colours are natural colours like white and beige and browns, your favourite movie or your favourite song…….

and you learn quite a few things about him in return: growing up he always loved science, he wanted to go into dance during high school but it clashed with science club so he gave it up, his favourite flavour milk is banana and his favourite colour is yellow…...

“mm i knew the yellow already :)”

“oh yeah?” hoseok has an arm around your shoulders, one hand stroking the side of your face and the other brushing against your stomach. “how?”

“the rug in your office. and the fact you like banana milk,” you laugh.

“what? the banana milk has nothing to do with it.”

“it does, don’t lie.”

“okay, but it’s not the main reason!!!”

once again it begins to feel like you’ve known hoseok for years and wow it’s so easy to talk to him and he’s so gentle and nice You’re ready to donate your whole heart to him on the spot

“so i was thinking actually,” you propose suddenly, and at this point the gang have come out of the kitchen and are gathered in the living room (jeongguk said that he’s technically in-laws with hoseok now and so there’s no point avoiding it) “that we should go out together this weekend.”

hoseok grins: “are you asking me out on a date right now?”

“yes,” you nod with a firm look. “yes, i am. i am taking authoritative because you’re slow and i want to go on a date with you. i wanna get to know you and work on this.”

hoseok agrees and presses a warm kiss to your temple. “mm, okay then, honey. it’s a date.”

(jimin gets home late and kicks off his shoes by the door. “GUYS!!! YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHO LOOKED MIGHTY FINE THIS MORNING!! If you guessed Professor Min, then you were RIGHT!! At this rate, Y/N won’t be the only person knocked up by a science professor cause I’m telling you, I’m ready for Professor Min to tell me the exact speed of light whilst balls deep in my a- OH. Uh. Hi, Professor Jung. Nice day?”)

((nobody knows how to move on from that.))

it’s been exactly 9 weeks since your little honey has been conceived :D

hoseok comes to visit more frequently and he now has your number and emergency contact details so whenever he can, he’s asking how you and the baby are and stuff

he texts asking about your day a lot

mostly about the baby though

from hoseok: what are naming it ^_^

to hoseok: hmm i believe we haven’t gone over the names yet :)

from hoseok: i meant like a nickname!!

from hoseok: yoongi has been calling them “squid” because when we became friends we bonded over someone calling a sperm cell a squid cell and i guess it kind of stuck

to hoseok: omg i dont wanna call them squid then :-(

from hoseok: hmm how about simply ‘baby’?

but i want u to call me baby…

from hoseok: but i wanna call YOU baby and it might get confusing...little one? little guy?

to hoseok: haseul thinks its a girl teeheehee

from hoseok: so i’ve been told

from hoseok: okay, how about honey? i know i call you honey sometimes but honey can be exclusively our baby name

to hoseok: hmm

to hoseok: honey is cute :3

from hoseok: haha okay baby, honey it is then!

you’re waiting until week 14 for an ultrasound

seunghee did more research and said 14 is a lucky number and so it just seemed right

and also most women go around 14 weeks and later because by then the gender will be revealed and that’s exciting!!

THANKFULLY you weren’t planning to visit family for christmas because they’re abroad visiting family and so at least you can surprise them when they’re back with a baby scan and hoseok :D

“did you also know that the baby is now the size of a cherry?” guk said suddenly one evening, as he lay next to you in his bed, by the way, WHY you were in his bed when he woke up he has no idea. “that’s so cute. little cherry all snug in there, huh.”

you find that jeongguk is now...abnormally nice

like you loved that you and jeongguk could be brutal to each other and still be fine in the next three minutes

but ever since you found out you were pregnant, he’s been toning it down a lot

truthfully he doesn’t want to overdo it and add any stress on you during the pregnancy, and he just wants to be supportive and be ‘the best uncle in the business’, to which jimin competes

haseul and seunghee are the ideal best friends in this situation: haseul is so ready to be an aunt it’s crazy and she already has an amazon cart full of cute things and seunghee already claimed dibs on helping you and hoseok set up a nursery for the baby

it’s still being decided but there’s a big chance you and hoseok will move in together to raise baby honey together

the house you were eyeing is relatively close to campus and to flat 18, which they’re planning to rent out for the next two years of uni after this one

so it’s close to honey’s aunts and uncles and also close for hoseok to get to work and for you to get to classes

jimin is the friend who still doesn’t really know what to do in this situation

he replaced jeongguk as the annoying younger brother type, even though he’s a few months older than both you and jeongguk, he’s such a brat lmao

10 weeks

“i’m convinced that my boobs have got bigger- haven’t they gotten bigger?”

so it is one of those days where hoseok is free to come and visit you at the Holy flat 18

it’s become his second home because he comes by so often

seunghee isn’t so weirded out by her professor being basically one of her friends, and in-fact she tries to abuse this by trying to get him to give her “in-law special treatment”

(“i gave you special treatment on your ugly volcano!” “OI the mother of your child helped make that volcano!!!”)

he really doesn’t give any bias tho he basically passes everybody

“i mean,” hoseok begins, and you move between his legs for him to get a good angle. considering you two haven’t been ‘together’ long, you’re incredibly comfortable around him. “yeah, actually. wow, they have!”

“rIGHT? none of my bras fit me anymore. oh god, i’m gonna have to start buying granny bras- do you think they’ll get that big?”

“it’s possible. all women increase in size during pregnancy. actually, some can lose weight instead of putting it on.”

“not me.”

“no, but you look healthy and gorgeous and i like it.”

you giggle- the same giggle he remembers you doing on the Big Night- and shuffle into some bigger trousers that you and haseul went to buy a few days ago

clothes just aren’t fitting anymore and so while you’re upgrading to trendy maternity-style clothes haseul and seunghee are super excited to go to town with outfits they can make from your wardrobe

“well, good! because you’re stuck with me for the next….like, nine months.”

“technically, it’s seven months now.”

you glare

“but i’m gonna still be here after those seven months!!!”

“good!!! you better be,” you shuffle over to sit next to him with your legs around him- one behind and one over his lap and he smiles down at you, “because i’m growing fond of you.”

“well that’s convenient, because i’m rather fond of you, too.”

outside the door, jimin starts laughing “wtf it’s 2018 who says fond anymore?”

12 weeks :)

this morning you realise

wow

i’m actually pregnant pregnant

you’re starting to show now and honestly...looking at it, you realise how creepy baby bumps are

“oh my GOD, seunghee come look at it now it’s gotten really big!”

it’s not even that big

but it’s bigger

seunghee is so excited about this fact

the flat have been taking pictures of the bump every week and printing it so they can keep a timeline for when honey is born

jeongguk and seunghee are still dead set on honey being a little baby boy but haseul is trying to convince them otherwise

“we’re calling her honey for now, right? so, what i have planned, is, we buy her a bee onesie. representing both bees AND the bee movie. worlds best dressed baby.”

you started to develop a fear of going to class because you’re unsure on how people will take the news that you’re pregnant

you’re not that much of a popular person but everybody in the class knows you well enough to know that you’re not the type to sleep around

so it would be a valid shock to hear that you’re pregnant

but you have to go because you can’t afford to miss anymore classes

and you also have to….break the news to your professors because at some point you’re going to have to have a lot of time off to pop out a human being

“he’s the size of a plum by now, isn’t he?”

jeongguk is particularly excited about honey this morning and he has literally not shut up about them since you got into class

“yes, THEY are about the size of a plum- did seunghee tell you that?”

“omg no im a good best friend and i did all my research!! it’s so cute that they compare honey to fruits online- next week he’s gonna be as big as a lemon!”

class is….just your luck, pretty busy today

most students are in the drawing rooms and a few are drawing a still life model

jeongguk gets right to work finishing his final project while you head to the office to speak to your professor, who is really lazy and sits in his office all day and doesn’t even supervise

professor choi, the lovely lady who ends up running all classes, is the dearest angel and you’re ready to chat to her next

professor bowen, your grouchy art professor, is literally so :| when you break the news

like he could not give two shits

he puts down his coffee and is like “oh. well, i couldn’t tell. congratulations, talk to the dean about your maternity dates. and shut the damn door behind you.”

like

damn sir okay

professor choi <3 is so <3 excited <3

she immediately goes to touch your stomach and then quickly stops herself like “oops, silly me! i remember when i had my first child i was so picky with who could touch my belly!! heeheehee how many weeks are you darling!!”

she’s already getting so excited and inviting herself to the birth

like please professor choi

we love you but please don’t turn up for the birth

PLEATHE

she keeps making invitations to bring the baby to classes when they’re born because “obviously im amazing with babies and ooh i just can’t wait to see them! jeongguk- don’t tell me you stepped up and did this all by yourself?”

jeongguk nearly throws up

“EWWWWWWW wtf i mean y/n babe i love you but EWWHJFHJKS why would i want to be with y/n she’s like my annoying sister! no the daddy is ho-”

and you’re like BITCH STOP!!!

“....honestly the best man on planet earth? you definitely don’t know him at all.”

14 weeks :)

“okay, miss l/n. it’s going to feel a little bit cold, but we’re going to put some ultrasound gel on your stomach now, is that okay?”

it’s the day of the ultrasound!!!

for you and hoseok this is the Big moment next to birth because it’s almost like final confirmation that there’s a baby in there

at this point you’re starting to show a lot

it’s big enough for you and flat 18 to know there’s a difference

but tbh if people didn’t know you they might just think you’ve got a few pounds on you and nobody cares at all at uni like literally nobody gives a fuck about what anybody else looks like

hoseok got permission of the dean to get the day off (he told them that his girlfriend was going for an ultrasound and so he just had to be there, and the dean, not knowing any better, was all smiles and said, “of course, professor jung! congratulations! i didn’t know you were expecting, or even dating!”)

because the best thing about being jung hoseok is the fact that he’s well known and it gets him out of trouble sometimes

thankfully the dean is old and dumb and didn’t clock on to the fact that you paid her a visit like a few weeks prior asking about maternity dates :)

PHEW!!!

jung hoseok’s job: saved

hoseok is holding your hand reassuringly and is sitting to your left, the other hand on your ankle and his leg is going cRAZY it’s just bobbing like heck next to the bed

a part of him is still really sort of insecure because even though the sonographer and nurse present don’t know that hoseok is a professor at your uni, he still feels really weird knowing who he is and how you could do better and could be doing better and more if it weren’t for stupid him not putting on a condom

he is so excited to have this baby but he thinks about that a lot, about how he’s basically ruined your life by putting a baby inside of you

you look incredibly excited though, lying on the bed with your eyes really wide and expectant because omg this is your baby!!!!

now that you’re here there’s some finality

ever since you found out you were pregnant there had been so many doubts but now that you’re here, with hoseok, about to see honey for the first time…

alexa play Despacito cause this is epic

“okay. let’s see what your baby is getting up to in there!”

this sonographer is really enthusiastic apparently

“alrighty. so, as you can see...oh! always a good sign- we have a confirmed heartbeat. usually that puts parents at ease, knowing their baby is all okay and healthy in there!”

and then she starts listing off various body parts but in all honesty you cant see a thing

hoseok is very interested in the screen and his smile gets wider at every body part she lists off

you really should be invested in the baby inside of you but when he smiles like that :( you just wanna grab him and kiss him really deeply

“everything seems to be perfectly fine with your baby, miss l/n. a very beautiful baby. they’re about the size of a peach right now, isn’t that just incredible?”

hoseok’s grinning like it’s his default facial expression

he squeezes your hand really tight and kisses it three times

“that’s our baby,” you say, still in motherly awe. “they’re real! we did THAT!”

“yeah, we did,” he replies, lips still pressed against your skin. “i’m proud of you.”

“i haven’t done anything yet!”

but really you have

to him you’re one of the bravest people he’s ever met in his entire life and he knows it must be so so hard for you to accept the fact that you’re having a baby aged 20 during uni

not that it’s uncommon but it’s just….not particularly ideal? at this moment in time?

“im so happy right now.”

“me too, baby.” you squeeze his hands, “me too!!!! our baby!!!! honey is the size of a peach already!!!”

he starts laughing

hoseok is just so overwhelmed with emotions he genuinely feels like he might cry rn

“i’m so happy it’s with you,” he says honestly and like the nurse is like :’) and you’re like :’o “it could have been anyone at any point in my life, but i’m so glad it’s with you.”

you look at him in awe

because that’s the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to you

like

ever

you tug him gently by the hand and he brings himself forward and

SMOOCH

you believe this is the first kiss he has given you since the “big shindig” (for some reason, flat 18 are obsessed with calling everything a shindig and so it just sort of stuck)

so it’s a big deal

and it’s also at the place where your pregnancy was confirmed

it’s perfect

the nurse is like AWWWWWWWWW

the sonographer is just like “anyways ! do you want to know the gender !!!”

you and hoseok have talked about maybe finding out sooner

it would put flat 18 at rest knowing if honey is a girl or a boy

but deep down it’s like...if honey is a boy or a girl for definite you don’t want the nickname honey to go away when you start referring to it as a name you both like...and plus like isnt it way too early

hoseok is happy with whatever choice you want because he likes the element of surprise

you two decided a couple of days ago that it could be super cute to have a reveal party

jimin was particularly excited about that idea (“I’M GONNA MAKE THE CUPCAKES”)

“um actually, can you like put it in an envelope!! we want to have a reveal party so it’s gonna be a surprise for now!”

the nurse and stuff are like “omg yes of course!!” and so it’s sealed away in a little envelope

“i can’t believe we’re actually like...almost parents,” hoseok says on the way back to the car.

“i know. it’s so weird. i can’t believe WE’RE having a kid together.”

hoseok helps strap you in because he’s one of THOSE expecting fathers who like as soon as he knows it’s happening he’s cautious about EVERYTHING

literally everything

falling out of bed when he’s staying over? not allowed, he’s making pillow barriers

tripping over rugs? the rug is being rolled up and put away

hotel? trivago

“it’s actually super funny to me because like i always fantasised about boning the Daddy of biology and look at where we are right now!!”

he starts the car- “the ‘daddy of biology’? what??”

and you’re like, “oh yeah oops haha basically i had a fat old crush on you and we all started calling you that.”

“i’m...honoured? well i knew you had a crush on me already, heehee”

as he pulls out of the hospital he glances over and grins to himself. “if it makes you feel better, i remember telling yoongi about the cute friend of seunghee who comes to my class every other day. yoongi made fun of me for weeks afterwards, and now look at us!!”

(yes it boosts your ego a little bit)

when christmas comes around hoseok makes an ultimate surprise

you end up showing off the baby scan like it’s a broken wrist in primary school because everybody wants to see the little honey

jeongguk is CONVINCED he can see a penis and so he’s like 98% sure it’s a baby boy

haseul tells him several times that it’s literally honey’s foot but he’s having none of it

you call your mom and tell her that you’re coming to see her in early january

(specifically january 4th)

she’s weirdly suspicious about it but nonetheless excited

hoseok has made plans for you to meet his family just afterwards so you’re going to be showing off the scan quite frequently

flat 18 don’t like doing gifts at christmas but jimin always bakes goodies for the flat

this year you’re particularly upset because you have yet to taste jimin’s christmas cookies and you already took your recommended amount of sugar by the time his cookies are done

“one cookie won’t hurt honey,” seunghee says

“i’m not taking aNY risks with it!!!”

hoseok makes a stop by the flat after you’ve had your first christmas dinner as a flat <3 aw

he shocks everybody when he walks in because he’s gone the extra mile and got gifts for everybody in the flat

“it’s just a way of me saying thanks for looking after my babies,” he says as he hands out the gifts

you can literally feel jeongguk’s smirk

and of course !!! he got you like three gifts because you’re secretly like the love of his life

even though it’s really not a secret but still

he mostly gets you the typical christmas things like things he knows you wanted (like that sailor moon designer ring that you don’t need really but omg its gorgeous and you want matching)

the last gift is really small and you’re like :O because the small gifts are usually the super thoughtful ones

it’s keys….

you’re almost like “HUH”

then it clicks

“oh...my...GOD?????”

hoseok bought the place you and him went to check out a few weeks back (the one just a few minutes away from the flat and campus)

AND IT DOESN’T END THERE

he’s all giggly and happy when you start BLUBBERING about how you own a house and now you can get a nursery and omg no more listening to jimin and jeongguk screaming over super smash ultimate in the living room

“because i think it’s time we live together, as a family, you know?” he says, holding you in his arms and kissing your face really sweetly. “it’ll be so good, living with my girlfriend and soon enough, my baby.”

“g-girlfriend?”

“well, yeah baby, of course. wanna be my girlfriend? please?”

you cry even more

“wtf yes of course i do :(”

(flat 18 are extremely territorial and are only settled and content with you leaving when hoseok takes them to the house and they’re like :D okay we’re coming over every weekend)

((haseul cries when she sees the room that’s gonna be the nursery))

15 weeks ^_^

“what if your mom beats my ass?”

today is january 4th which means it is the day that hoseok is going to meet your family

and also the day they are going to indirectly meet the little honey :’)

honey is now the size of a navel orange according to the website that everyone in flat 18 has pinned on their laptop chrome browser

which is really cute

jimin is the flat 18 member who likes to call honey everything but honey and recently started nicknaming them after the fruits on the website

so he’s like, “good morning little satsuma!” or “hello navel orange, how are you?” when he sees you around the flat

you’re probably going to be officially moved out by next week which is really exciting teeheehee

“she won’t….probably. my mom is really nice! she’ll like you!”

“will she still like me when she finds out i teach biology to seunghee?”

“yes probably, i don’t think she really knows what that means.”

“what, biology?”

“no, i don’t think she’ll realise that you’re a professor at my- you know what, never mind that. did you lock the car?”

since christmas and becoming hoseok’s official girly, you two have just been closer than ever

hoseok is still really cautious about the baby stuff because this is obviously his first baby ever

he’s that person who thinks having sex will like kill the baby

of course, he did try it once

just to say he’d had sex with a pregnant lady

“that’s one for the bois.”

“what bois, you don’t have any friends, baby.”

“NOT true i have like 3 friends!!”

when hoseok timidly knocks on your mom’s front door he’s so so nervous when a big buff man opens the door instead

inside he’s like wtf i thought y/n’s dad was like GONE

but then you’re like “oh hi daren! yeah, this is my boyfriend, hoseok, hoseok this is my mom’s boyfriend!”

you didn’t tell hoseok just because you got pleasure seeing him look so terrified at the thought of telling ur Dad that he knocked you up

thankfully you’re not close enough to daren for him to have any protective feelings for you

not like a close dad would anyway

when he meets your mom it’s literally like meeting an older You

like

your mom is so nice :(

she greets hoseok really really excitedly and is all for embarrassing you within 5 minutes of you coming home

“did you know that it’s been exactly four years and five months since y/n came home with a BOY? she never comes home with anybody!!! i thought she was joining a nunnery!!!”

like omg…..so funny…...really, like, joke of the year

your sister is also here and she’s looking at hoseok like -_o because…. “i’ve seen you somewhere…”

now you’re shaking

omg does she KNOW

“i mean, he was at [cousin’s name]’s wedding hahahha...that’s probably how u know him….small world.”

“ew what do you MEAN he was there- he’s not family is he?”

o.o

“wtf no he’s a friend of [groom’s name] wtf Why would i be dating him if he was family What is wrong with you?”

you guys have a nice little snack and tea together and hoseok starts to feel really comfortable

but then Mrs y/n puts down her tea and sits back in her chair, slapping her thighs: “alright then. so what’s this big surprise you have for us?”

oh

oh yeah he forgot about the fact that you’re having his kid and you’re about to drop the news

suddenly he wants to throw up the brownies he just ate

and your sisters blue shirt looks like a perfect place to throw up <3

“well, it’s kind of been a surprise to us all, actually,” you begin, and you take hoseok’s hands in your own and your sister narrows in on it and she knows like right away

she thought she saw the bump but didn’t want to mention it because You’re the sensitive sister and if it was just weight gain she didn’t wanna handle you crying everywhere

but now she knows and she sits back in her seat and starts to smile

she wants to say something but hoseok looks at her like owo please don’t say anything sis

(she doesn’t)

“but, me and hoseok are in a very...close relationship-”

“oh god you got married didn’t you.”

“um, no, but, i’m sure that’s in the future, right? y-yeah? right, yeah, um…”

“it’s not something we’re discussing right now,” hoseok blurts out. “but, i mean, i want to? soon? like later?”

your mom is literally there like “well what is it????”

“.....i’m pregnant.”

“...oh.”

...

...

“REALLY???????”

your mom is shook to the core

she really doesn’t believe you until you whip out the baby scan

and she starts sobbing

like full on sobbing like she’s just been punched in the face by bowser

daren is all smiles and is like “wow congrats!”

your sister hugs both you and hoseok and says to hoseok in his ear “can you please sign my copy of “ouch mitosis” because it’s my favourite book and i totally knew you were famous the moment you walked in” and pulls away and is like “im so excited to be an aunt!!! what’s the gender!!! when are they due!!! what are you gonna call them!!!!”

needless to say your sister leaves with a signed copy of hoseok’s big money book

and your mom is now 100% hooked on the baby being called honey

week 17 :-)

you and hoseok are now homeowners officially !!!!!

flat 18 have come down to visit as a sort of moving in house-warming party and hoseok invited his “three friends” (by friends he means work colleagues lmao)

jimin is still weirded out by the fact that professor jung heard him talking about his fantasy of having professor min inside his GUTS and so tries to avoid hoseok and yoongi when they are together

hoseok also cannot forget hearing that :-( his ears :-( are tainted :-(

it’s your first real time meeting hoseok’s friends

like you’ve never really met namjoon or seokjin but you know of them

because everybody knows about the married Gays of your uni like it made the news and everybody was invited to their after party last year

(yes you went but only like for fifteen minutes because you remembered that you had an art history essay due the next morning that hadn’t been done)

for the sake of you and honey, seunghee tries not to be weirded out by the fact that so many members of staff are at your house and wtf hi professor min WHY are you here again

“can i touch?” seokjin asks really suddenly after hoseok is showing yoongi and namjoon the room that will be the nursery

currently it’s empty with like one box and that one box is full of clothes haseul ordered on impulse

“um. yes!!”

“are you sure? i know some moms get really protective over who touches and i don’t wanna overstep-”

“put ur freakishly big hand on my belly right now!”

he does and he gets really excited touching because he’s never actually touched a baby belly before

namjoon is most excited about the nursery and he’s listing off things hoseok could get

like “OOOO you could totally get one of those really big stuffed bears if you’re going for neutral tones- wait, that’s such a good idea? i’ll order one.”

and hoseok’s like mm okay sweetie sure whatever spend your money on me it’s okay

yoongi is really just. in awe of the baby scan

like it’s not even his baby and he’s tearing up like wtf that’s his niece or nephew that’s his mf baby!!!!!! that’s gonna be the person he spends all his cash on!!!!! he’s so excited to be broke and baby whipped!!!

“and so what, you’re like seventeen weeks?”

“yep! i’m almost four months uwu!!! honey is as big as a pomegranate, how cute!! time flies when you’re having fun huh!”

seokjin pauses and asks the big question like “but like what are you going to do about maternity? are they letting you have days off school? because i can totally send one of my sociology kids to take notes in your lectures because i have authority apparently and you’re like. family? i could do that.”

and you’re like “omg pls no that kid needs their own education!!!” and you tell him that your professors and the dean let you have time off near the due date (which should probably be around june!! a summer babie)

“but it sucks because i wanted to have a gender reveal party and invite some people from uni but then they’re gonna find out that hoseok is the dad and he could like lose his job :(”

and then seokjin is like: “wait but you study art and not biology?”

… “what do you mean?”

“well, policy says that you can’t have a relationship between a teacher and their student. but if you’re in completely different departments….and he doesn’t teach you, therefore can’t have bias over your grades or anything like that…..then really you’re allowed to be with him.”

..

what

wHY DIDN’T YOU KNOW THIS????

“since when is that a thing????”

“since like. the day our uni was founded?????”

ob viously when hoseok finds out he’s like O____O “how did you know that omg??”

and seokjin is so done he’s just sitting there with his face looking like this -__-

“it’s literally in the Faculty Handbook that you’re supposed to read before you join the uni as a teacher…”

and hoseok scoffs and grins sheepishly, “yeah well yoongi got me the job so i didn’t read any of that.”

(from across the room jimin groans)

((“so i guess this means i can’t seduce yoongi at a family wedding huh.”))

week 20 :’)

you have somehow adopted the name of “campus milf”

which jimin doesn’t think is that bad of a nickname

“it could be worse, y/n. let that sink in.” and he’s right it really could be worse

nobody actually really cares that you’re pregnant like really they could care less

some students say weird things but it doesn’t really bother you bc like lmao? who even are you Jongin Get out of here!

people aren’t 100% familiar with hoseok being the father but it goes without saying that it will be around campus in less than 15 hours because majority of the art department were present for the gender reveal and oh look

jeongguk invited taehyung and taehyung invited his friends and now there’s a whole bunch of jocks at the gender reveal party?????

the party is obviously at your house

YOUR HOUSE!!!! YES MF THATS URS!!!!

you invited your close family and flat 18 of course and jeongguk invited taehyung who invited his girlfriend binnie and his roomie jackson and jackson, being part of the football team, invited some of the jocks

you would have cared if the jocks hadn’t brought gifts but half of them turned up with a gift or food and so you’re like “okay well come on in boys i’m y/n hi we’ve literally never ever met”

it looks really funny seeing jocks in their fucking JERSEYS (like they couldn’t have changed for this one occasion) standing around your backyard with glasses of wine

oK maybe jeongguk has a vodka and dr pepper but that’s because he did blow up all the balloons from his lungs alone and he deserved a reward

hoseok invited his family too and his friends and that’s about it

your art professor is also here too and she is technically half of the art department (or half of those you care about because weird quiet kid Jisung didn’t wanna show up which is honestly really rude and suddenly you’re not friends anymore)

even though this party technically reveals the gender, you both asked for “gender neutral” clothes and by gender neutral you meant any colour besides the stereotypical blue and pink

because what if honey really likes the colour green? what then

you and hoseok let jimin be in charge of the reveal party and he’s done a pretty good job

for some reason he’s wearing his hoodie up and you’re like “literally what the fuck it’s sunny today?”

and he’s all surrender hands: “that’s exactly why. i don’t...like the sun.”

“what do you mEAN??????? you love the sun don’t lie??!!”

a couple of weeks ago you and hoseok made another visit to the hospital to see if the gender was 100% accurate

the process was weirdly fast and the sonographer was like “lol yeah it’s right” and then dipped

so when you have jimin the envelope he has peeped and done the thing

“haha lol i knew it.”

“no you didn’t??????”

but he did a really lovely job; there’s a cluster of balloons and cakes decorated with the Blue and Pink and there’s like a cute game on like guess the gender or something you don’t really care much about

hoseok’s family really want it to be a boy <3

mrs y/n wants it to be a girl and so does your sister <3

you don’t really care just as long as the baby is okay and healthy <3

when it’s time to reveal the gender jimin has decided that a fantastic way to do that is by giving you and hoseok like one of those party poppers that when it pops it bleeds like coloured confetti and stuff

you actually really like the idea because it’s not as awkward as a cake where you cut and it’s awkwardly long and the reaction feels kind of forced (you youtubed reveal parties)

so this one is really like a quick reaction so hopefully it will feel a lot more genuine!

“are you ready, baby?”

hoseok has one arm wrapped firmly around your waist and oh LAWD

he’s doing the smile

you know the smile

you nod and grin at him like “yep! let’s see who honey really is!!!”

so everybody is ready

so excited

jeongguk is filming like he can feel it in his bones rn that this babie is gonna be a boy

like it’s gonna be his son...half son….almost son….technically his non biological son

everybody does a countdown

“three!”

hoseok smiles super excitedly

“two!”

he kisses your lips super fast and laughs quietly

he’s so excited

“one!”

POP

wait what

you can feel your stomach CHURNING when the party popper releases literally nothing but black and white confetti

what just happened?

what does black and white mean?

you’re looking desperately between hoseok and the popper and then back to jimin who’s faking a :O by the patio doors

jeongguk is like “aw fuck should i restart?”

“omg is it a dud? what happened is this a busted popper please say it is omg is there something wrong with honey? is honey okay? oh my god is honey dead? oh my god why would we party pop that?????”

hoseok’s like “omg calm down it’s just a dud omg it’s okay”

you’re literally like about to cry

then jimin steps forward

“guys!”

and everybody looks

“yall gonna stress me the fuck out”

and in a viral video like fashion

he yanks down his hoodie and

oh wow

his head is a giant mop of blue

blue

BLUE MEANS BOY

ITS A BOY

everybody starts screaming and clapping and jeongguk is laughing his ASS off like this shit about to be the blurriest gender reveal video ever

“omg a boy!!! a boy!!! y/n we’re having a son!!! omg y/n our baby!!! our little honey!!!”

hoseok is over the freaking moon

like he has not been this excited since the first baby scan

you actually start crying now

“i’m not CRYING it’s just the pregnancy…. ok fuck OFF IM CRYING IM SO HAPPY!!! i’m having a son!!!!”

time for haseul to be both happy and sad at the same time

seunghee and jeongguk are like sucking eachothers titties right now like they are so hyped

“TOLD YOU !!!! I KNEW IT!!!!!”

hoseok brings you in for the biggest and longest kiss Ever

like you haven’t had many long kisses with hoseok because it’s been trying to build up a relationship time for the past three months of your life

but this kiss is so loving you almost faint

he brings you in so gently and holds your head in his hands

one thumb rubs across your cheekbone and wow. this kiss...is so good like are those stars???

“i love you.”

alexa...ALEXA PLAY DESPACITO RIGHT NOW

“i love You more,” you whisper against his lips and he makes this really cute noise at the back of his throat (kinda like one of those whines you do where it’s like too good to be true) and he kisses you again

jeongguk zooms in

“look at this….ugh, no respect for any single people here.”

(for a brief moment jimin’s bleached blue scalp goes unnoticed until yoongi compliments him on it)

((he disappears for like fifteen minutes in the toilet and yoongi doesn’t wanna know what he was doing))

22 weeks!!!!

hoseok really probably shouldn’t find you sexy right now

you keep going on and on and on about how un-sexy you are with swollen ankles and stuff

in his opinion you’re looking really good considering and he won’t say it but the weight gain looks good on you and it gives you a nice natural #dewy look that he really loves

he remembers how cautious he was about having sex with you at like. what? 10 weeks

character development time

he’s very aware of the research and the facts and so when you shuffle over to him and huff and act all extra EXTRA touchy he’s just knows

“omg are you horny AGAIN”

“im SORRY IT JUST HAPPENS”

and he doesn’t really care that you’re big and pregnant and yeah actually your ankles are kinda swollen but it’s fine

hoseok discovers that he actually really likes pregnancy sex

pregnancy sex always scared him bc omg what if my dick touches my KID that would be all levels of weird

but he is like a biology professor and knows that’s not realistic (he thinks)

and like he was aware that at some point during pregnancy, your body is gonna be producing a lot more fluid

but my GOD

he nearly bust a nut after 3 seconds because he just slid right in

unlike the big shindig 22 weeks ago, hoseok is so so SO careful during pregnancy sex

like he’s extra loving and strokes your hair and kisses your face and arms and stomach

he loves kissing ur tummy :(

esp after sex because he’s like “im sorry honey :( i know you must be traumatised in there.”

but in the moment he really does take advantage of the fact that your hormones are going crazy and it’s not gonna last forever

you’re a talker in bed and he knows that

you’re very vocal about how things feel and some of the things you say really get to his ego like his head is so big rn

“oh...OH, omg, yep, you found it, oh fuck- yes! hoseok, yes, right there-”

and you sound so fucking hot but he can’t be rough bc like Honey is gonna be SCARRED FOR LIFE

your thing is saying i love you during sex

like a lot

hoseok finds it so endearing that you talk and whine with like every thrust and then spill out a thousand “i love you’s” in under thirty seconds as you cum <3 because <3 that’s his girl <3 that’s the love of his life <3 and she loves him back <3 heeheehee

his heart swells with pride

((hoseok also gets extremely turned on that one time you call him daddy during sex and he HAS to find out how to get rid of that kink before honey gets here))

23 weeks :P

as promised, you invite seunghee to help you and hoseok paint the nursery

jimin came too but he literally did nothing

all he did was sit on the floor looking at baby furniture like

jimin sweetie these walls aren’t gonna paint themselves

you have decided on a cream and beige coloured nursery

because it’s unisex and also makes the room feel really bright and clean and nice for when honey arrives

hoseok loves yellow and since the nursery is primarily your favourite colours, a lot of smaller accessories are yellow around the room

seunghee had so much fun looking for ~yellow~ items because “monkeys totally match the theme and omg this mobile is monkeys and bananas its already on its way i’ve just ordered it.”

the nursery takes roughly around a week to get done completely

alongside your studies, some other art students who are now very aware of the baby and the bump helped paint some of the furniture while you were catching up on some work

example a: you accidentally ordered a dark brown chester drawers and when it arrived you cried for like 45 minutes

jeongguk asked some kids from class to come by your house after class and help paint it so you didn’t feel so stressed and so you could actually finish your art assignments in prep for exams

hoseok and jeongguk helped put up the crib because “this is not a one man job, y/n, this...this is a test of skill.”

yoongi comes around often to look at the nursery and he’s the person who won’t buy anything until the baby is out and in the world

namjoon definitely does buy the huge stuffed bear for the corner of the room and often you catch seunghee asleep against it because she comes by the nursery so often to help you and hoseok make it perfect

because hoseok has a full time job that really requires all of his time and sometimes he can’t be working on the nursery and marking essays at the same time :(

“hee, can you pass me the blankets from that box over there?” you point to a collection of boxes by the wardrobe and seunghee nods, practically running over

you’re both working on the nursery (it’s friday afternoon and classes are over, but unfortunately hoseok had to finish a meeting and he’s currently in his office ((at home)) finishing these essays for the weekend)

yoongi called and said he’d be round later because he wants to check in on honey (and you of course) and he’s also coming for dinner because it’s normal to invite jimin’s physics professor around

it’s totally fine

at this point you sort of forget that he’s a professor

yoongi has become like a permanent figure in your life since hoseok and you moved in

like flat 18, he’s literally always over

seunghee fishes out like three blankets because lord knows you have about three hundred thanks to haseul and namjoon and their impulsive buying

the nursery is basically finished at this point

all you’re doing is adding blankets and a few cute little pillows to the crib and then

hey pasta

it’s done :)

“y/n, i really can’t wait for honey to be here.”

you turn slightly and see seunghee running her hands over the chester drawers, looking at the cute little decorations and pictures on the wall and the monkey mobile and, her favourite part, the little bee wall stickers that hoseok found and thought were cute (“we call him honey, it seems fitting!”)

“me too,” you reply super honestly, setting down the blanket. “if you had told me at the start of september that i’d be here right now, in a house i own, pregnant with jung hoseok’s baby...i would have seriously laughed in your face.”

“i’m just...so happy that everything is working out for you!”

it’s time for seunghee to get especially sappy

“and i know that having a baby at twenty can be really hard and it hasn’t been easy for you- but i’m 100% here for you whenever you need me and i’m so so so so happy that jimin introduced us as friends because i love having you in my life….even though you slept with my biology professor….it’s okay….i love you so much….you’re like my sister and i’m so excited for honey have i said that i’m excited yet? cause i am!!!”

you blame pregnancy hormones because you start sobbing when seunghee blurts out all these lovely things

like how she’s grateful to be helping you in the nursery and how she thinks you and hoseok are such a good match and how she misses having you around the flat <3

“seunghee…” you bring her in for such a tight cuddle

seunghee is definitely that friend who even though she’s older she feels like the little baby sister that you want to protect from all harm on earth

even though she’s the oldest out of the flat 18 gang, you all look to her as like a baby sibling

(minus jeongguk that ONE TIME he made out with her….yes you remember the text message)

so you’re just hugging her in the middle of the nursery

hoseok is just about finished with essays and he refrains from like screaming out of joy

he loves being a professor but fucking hell

some of the GARBAGE his students write because they know he’s the cool professor who takes it easy on his kids

so he’s already packing everything away when he pauses

...is that...SQUEALING??

what’s happening??????

he assumes the worst and ZOOMS out of the office towards the nursery where you and seunghee are

safe to say that he’s so thankful nothing bad is happening

you’re holding your stomach with the widest eyes and smile and seunghee is like SQUEALING LIKE A DAMN PIGLET

“is everything okay???? what happened???? is honey okay?????? are you okay?????”

he blinks so confused when you wave your hands at him and beckon him closer

“HE KICKED HE’S KICKING QUICK QUICK HOBI QUICK--”

HE CROSSES THE ROOM SO FAST

seunghee is like crying to the side of the room and hoseok has both hands on your stomach

honey stopped kicking when hoseok put his hands on there

and he was like :( oh

“maybe he went to sleep?” seunghee doesn’t want hoseok to feel bad about it

you put your hands over his and then stroke your tummy

“it’s okay, honey, it’s just daddy! say hi to daddy?”

hoseok’s like seconds away from crying

like omg R His Eyes Filling Up

but then

honey starts kicking again

VERY ENTHUSIASTICALLY

and hoseok goes from :’( to :’D in like 2 seconds

“oh my god he knows it’s me!!! hi honey!!!! hi!!!”

he drops to his knees so that he can be level with the stomach and around about where honey is kicking

“hi honey! it’s your daddy,” he puts on this really cute cooing voice Like the typical baby talk voice

seunghee is texting the flat like HONEY KICKED ME

“he knows your voice,” you say with a little laugh, one hand on your tummy and the other threading through hoseok’s hair

“this is amazing,” he mutters, and then kisses your tummy and smiles, “did you feel that, honey? can you hear me?”

KICK KCIK CKICKCKCKCIC

“omg yes i think he can hear you holy SHIT-”

“don’t swear in front of honey!!!”

“he HURTS!”

everybody forgot that jimin was still here because he was napping in the living room and so he comes in really late and is like “OMG HONEY IS KICKING? WHY DIDN’T ANYBODY TELL ME??”

honey seems to be familiar with a lot of voices

he obviously really likes mommy’s voice and when she talks to him he likes to kick every once in a while

honey really loves daddy’s voice because when hoseok does his daily chit-chat honey goes crazy

honey also knows jeongguk’s voice really well

jimin is afraid to go near honey because he kicked him when he went to kiss your tummy

he also kicked haseul but she was like “OOOH HE HEARD ME!!!!” and doesn’t let it bother her because!!! she felt the kick!!!! that’s her nephew!!!!

26 weeks (yawn)

it’s starting to hit

the Pregnancy Pains

up until now you’ve been pretty blessed and actually it’s been a nice pleasant journey

but good grief it’s 4:56am and everything hurts

you physically cannot stay in bed any longer

for a moment you actually get really panicked because oh GOD labour is gonna be so much worse than this

like this is nothing

girl you have no idea what’s coming

hoseok has learned to become a light sleeper

you have a really weird sleeping schedule during pregnancy and sometimes he’d wake up at 6am to go to work and you’re already up doing stuff and he gets home at like 6pm sometimes and you’re flat out, then waking up at 3am to continue the day because you were in agony

so when you wake up at (nearly) 5am on a SATURDAY he’s like already up

his body clock is so weird now thanks to you and your weird sleeping habits

“hurts?” hoseok asks rubbing your back as you’re slumped over the side of the bed. he barely catches a nod and kisses your temple and hugs you, “i read on that baby website that baths can help ease the pain sometimes. should i run one?”

you nearly CRY

“yes yes Yes please omg :(”

so that’s how he got to where he is right now

sitting on the bathroom floor running a bath

he’s so careful to get the temperature right and he spends a good three minutes deciding which lush bath bomb is going to be used

(he settles on “honey bee” which was actually a gift he got you on valentines day but you never got around to using) ((he was skeptical because of the colours but baby is called honey so he thought it would be cute)) (((you loved it)))

you hobble into the bathroom and he’s just about finishing it up, running his fingers in the water to make sure it’s not toooOOO hot

you love watching the colours fizz in the bath and so naturally you have to be there to see it happen

seeing all the yellows was pretty exciting and hoseok’s just like :D watching you get happy by the colours

hoseok helps you get undressed as you just talk on and on and on

honestly

how do you have so much energy at like 5am in the morning…

he can’t help but notice how much you are GLOWING

like he hasn’t really seen many pregnant women

if any at all besides you

but you really look so pretty and natural and just wow he’s full of love

as you sit down in the bath, you grip onto his hand as he moves to get more comfortable and you’re like “do you wanna get in with me!!!”

“baby, i don’t think i’m gonna fit.”

“you will i promise, get in here!”

he’s skeptical

“yea...i don’t think im gonna fit, love.”

oh he does

he fits

if he fits he sits and he FITS

he really underestimated how wide this bath was and he sits with his back near the taps and you’re facing him

you have enough room to put your legs on either side of him and you’re like sitting between his legs and in all honesty the tummy is the only thing between you and him and his dick

but like you’ve seen it before you don’t care

and he certainly doesn’t care about seeing any bits of you bc your his bABY thats his GIRL

“this smells amazing.”

“yeah, smells like-”

“honey!”

with hoseok being like. a full time professor and with you trying to make it to classes in between awful pregnancy pains, it’s hard to find time to spend with you because he’s really busy

sometimes you do actually go to class and end up like falling asleep on the desk and professor choi is like torn between letting you stay there or sending jeongguk to get you and take you home

“thank you for this, hoseok.”

:D “hey, hey, hey...anytime you need anything, i will do it, okay?”

“i know babe and you’ve been so so so so helpful these past few months and i know it must have been hard and a big adjustment but im just so glad you’re here and that we’re raising a family together like this means so much to me that you’re here with me and i just love you a LOT okay like a lot-”

“y/n l/n!” hoseok playfully cuts you off and holds your face in his hands (his signature pussy-throbbing move)

his hands are wet and now so is your face but you really don’t care

“you are,” he continues, “the love of my life. i couldn’t let you do this alone. meeting you, being with you- starting a family with you has been one of the best experiences of my whole life. and i wouldn’t change that for anything!!! i love you so much, and i love you even when you’re cranky, and i love you when you ask for really disgusting things to eat, and i love you when you sing to honey in the mornings. i’m just...so in love with you and honey, i can’t even put it into words!!!”

and he starts speaking so damn fast

like you BARELY catch it

“and you’re thebest thing that has ever happened to me and introducing you to my family was the proudest moment of my life and we’re gonna be the best parents ever and god i love you more than anything i would Die for you.”

…

i…

damn…

“...i think writing a best selling book is probably more worthy of pride than boring old me.”

“books are like a ten man job thing. you and me and honey are a two person job thing and i’m so proud of us, so proud of you :(”

he draws you in with a really soft kiss and its so. soft. and nice.

yep his dick is right up against honey right now

honey, sweetie, im so sorry oh god close your eyes baby close ur eyes

…

“we should get out soon bc this water is looking really ugly.”

“yeah i agree let’s get out”

30 weeks :3

<Y/N has created a new chat!>

from haseul: eye

from y/n: baby shower. 2 weeks time. my house. bring gifts or food

from y/n: preferably mustard sandwiches or sardines :)

from guk: thats fucking NASTY nobody bring that

from hoseok: last week she wanted meatballs and milk………….

from guk: do pregnant women deserve rights? be honest

from y/n: well looks like guk is no longer invited :)

from guk: NO PLS

from seunghee: YEAH BOIIIIII I HAVE SO MANY GIFTS

from yoongi: why did y/n just privately message me asking for blended sardines Hell nah pregnant women dont deserve rights

from y/n: WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN RN :(

from hoseok: so! bring cakes !!!!!!

from namjoon: i have the best gift ever Not To Brag

from jimin: hi professor min how do you like the weather today

<y/n has removed jimin from the chat>

from y/n: can you let taehyung know the date? i dont have his number but he gave really warm hugs when i last saw him and i want another one

from y/n: tell him to bring his girlfriend too she looks like she’ll bring me a good gift

from hoseok: omg im dating a gold digger….

32 weeks !!!!!!!

“baby showers are technically just a way for the mom to get gifts. this is technically baby exploitation-”

“oh my god jeongguk if you don’t shut up im gonna shove this stick of celery up ur ass”

not that you’re ready to admit it to anybody

but yeah you organised a baby shower just to get gifts

it’s really only small

in comparison to your gender reveal party which was quite large

and even though a lot of expecting moms like having “women only” baby showers

you realise that you really want hoseok to be there

he’s been as important in the process as you have and you wouldn’t want him to feel left out

so this baby shower is open to everybody

again it’s only small: attendees are hoseok, yoongi, namjoon, seokjin, flat 18, hoseok’s mom and sister, your sister and mom, taehyung and his gf and professor choi because she was so excited

that seems quite large but in comparison to the gender reveal party this is really quite small and humble

“i can’t believe it’s almost been 8 months already,” haseul says, already starting on the cupcakes

jimin has started baking things more frequently to keep himself busy during exam season

“mhm!!! not long now!!!”

thankfully hoseok’s mom and sister get on really well together with your family and professor choi is like boring yoongi to death talking about something art related

namjoon and seokjin are taking a look at the finished nursery because hoseok’s really proud of how it turned out

it’s time to open gifts uwu!!!

most of the gifts are for honey

thankfully everybody stuck to the cream theme and there’s a lot of cute cream things for honey to wear and use when he’s born

seunghee keeps buying monkey related things for honey meanwhile haseul is hung up on bees

namjoon buys a lot of bear things

you just hope that honey doesn’t grow up as a furry

jimin and jeongguk are the friends who buy those cringey weirdly inappropriate baby shirts that have quotes like, “daddy’s fastest swimmer!” or like onesies that say “my favourite food is titty!”

you sit there like what the FUCK is this

and jeongguk is like “it’s a shirt !!! honey will look so cute in it!!”

“hONEY IS NOT WEARING A SHIRT THAT SAYS THAT WHAT KIND OF MOM DO YOU THINK I AM??”

yoongi is weirdly fashionable with his baby clothes

like he has a thing for those teddy coats and he bought like eight in different colours

“honey might like red, you don’t know yet.”

namjoon and seokjin together :( give the cutest gift :(

“oK so most professors end up writing books and stuff-” side eye at hoseok - “and so i just thought that, well, honey is gonna wanna grow up reading and stuff so i made this book!!! well, we made this book. everyone helped somehow and jeongguk drew the pictures and it’s just a little something for honey to grow up with reading”

you wanna cry

hoseok wants to cry

haseul cries

it’s not even for her but she cries

“its JUST REALLY THOUGHTFUL OKAY?”

you think it ends there with everybody giving gifts

but oh no

no

hoseok has a gift??????????????

“this gift is for mommy” he says with a bright smile and out the corner of your eye yoongi is squirming with a smirk

...what does he know that you don’t….

your sister is also smiling……

where’s ashton kutcher…….

you unwrap this little box and open it and

wow

OOOOOOOOOF

you’re so still staring at this really gorgeously simple ring that you don’t even notice hoseok getting down on one knee

HASEUL IS REALLY CRYING RN

“with honey close on the way, i figured i ought to ask before things get crazy.”

omg you brave looking at him and hes got that look again

THE FOND LOOK

AND YOUR EYES START FILLING UP

“y/n l/n i love you and i wanna spend the rest of my life with you :’) will you marry me?”

there is not a dry eye amongst flat 18 right now

haseul actually has to go outside because omg she’s so happy for you

seunghee teared up a little bit and jimin cried but then started laughing

jeongguk is being so dramatic about it

he’s crying as if his pet dog just died

“i...cant believe….my girl is all grown up….i cant...breathe rn omg…..can someone get me a drink?”

35 weeks :o

finals are here

but since jeongguk and haseul are art (sort of) majors their finals were earlier than other subjects

and so you decide to brave life and visit flat 18 :’)

you see a bunch of people on the way there because apparently a lot of people live off campus and walk at the same time as you

like why is everybody here rn

at this point you get a few more stares because

omg is that y/n l/n she’s HUGE!!!!!

you’re genuinely past caring at this point

you’re huge and your pregnant and you’re confident

jeongguk and haseul are the only ones at flat 18 when you arrive

it feels weird being back but it’s nice because flat 18 was once your home

your room hasn’t really changed much and you discover that . sometimes taehyung stops round and crashes in YOUR ROOM???

and if it’s not taehyung then it can be any one of their friends they invite around

which you’re only slightly hurt about

“jesus CHRIST you’re massive!!!”

“thanks jeongguk that makes me feel soOoooO good about myself <3”

“NO, fuck,” and he pauses because there’s a No Swearing Policy around honey since it’s not apparent that since he can hear everything he can probably hear jeongguk swearing too. “i just meant that! wow honey got really big :D not long now!! five more weeks until due date!!!”

haseul plops down on the other side of you

“i can’t wait until he’s here,” she says. “little honey is already the size of a pineapple- which is really crazy to think about!!”

it’s nice to spend some time with your friends after like weeks of being with hoseok

and don’t get me wrong you LOVE hoseok with like every single cell inside your body

but it’s nice to have some You time

and You time has always involved flat 18 like they’re drugs and you’re the addict you genuinely can’t be away from them because it starts to hit you hard :-(

haseul is like halfway through telling you something when you Feel it

and it feels Disgusting

you freeze and look down at your stomach

and you watch as honey makes a grand appearance

honey sort of “rolls over” and for a moment everyone is like >:O as honey’s whole body is visible moving across your stomach and it’s literally like there’s an ALIEN inside of you

“OMG OMGOGG that was so beautiful!!! honey, do it again for me, we have to film this for your dada!!” haseul runs to get her phone

meanwhile guk is looking at your stomach like “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT”

“i dont know but it felt weird”

“IT LOOKED LIKE YOUR STOMACH WAS GONNA EXPLODE”

you bet that honey is like giggling inside

honey: 1 jeongguk: 0

39 weeks…

at 39 weeks, with the due date so close by, you start to feel like something is really wrong

you did some research and while contractions were normal, this pain doesn’t really feel like contractions?

“baby please talk to me, i need to know what hurts so i can call the hospital and let them know.”

hoseok has never ever had to take a call in lecture before but this time he had to

he is so frantic that he set the lecture to a task and really quietly answered the phone at the front of the class

nobody is stupid and they’re all aware that hoseok and yourself are having a baby and so they really don’t mind that their lecture is being paused by you crying on the phone

“i-i-i don’t know...my body hurts and i can feel h-honey moving but he feels stuck or something...hoseok s-something is wrong i think i need to go to the hospital right now”

hoseok goes into full blown panicked dad mode

seunghee is sitting at the front of the lecture like, “hose-i mean, professor jung, do you need me to go and get another professor?”

he doesn’t reply, obviously distressed, and so she ends up waking up yoongi from a nap saying that she thinks maybe you’re going into early labour???

yoongi lets the head of the department know that hoseok has go to like right now and he enters the lecture hall like, “hoseok you need to go and see if she’s okay, don’t worry, i’ll try and go through the rest of the slides, just go, everything is fine”

and so hoseok BOLTS out of the lecture hall

forgets to set homework

and runs across campus to the car-park whilst still on the phone

(yoongi lets the class go because he really doesn’t know SHIT about Behaviour and Physiology of Organisms)

when hoseok and yourself end up at the hospital you realise that it’s not labour like seunghee thinks but things are equally as worrying

honey is currently in the breech position

“most babies are supposed to have moved at around 36-37 weeks, so it is alarming that your baby is still in breech, miss l/n,” the nurse is particularly sympathetic as she lets you and hoseok know

you’re totally lost but hoseok is holding your hand so tight and is so so worried

it’s not really the end of the world that honey is feet first but it’s problematic and means that labour is gonna be a bit more difficult

“well what does this mean? is he okay?”

“your baby is fine, it’s his position that is concerning. it will be more difficult to birth the baby because of his position in the womb- what is more concerning is that we were aware of this at your last scan. last time we saw you, miss l/n, your baby was in the footling breech position. of course, it was possible that he might shift during the time away, but he is now in the flexed breech.”

“w-well….what does that mean? is he gonna be okay?”

“when you are in labour, we will have two options; we can either go through with a vaginal breech birth, or a caesarean birth, depending on how willing he is to come out.”

when hoseok squeezes your hand you just. cry a little bit

“i dont wanna hurt him omg i dont want to have a c section either wtf i thought i’d just have to push him out oh no”

hoseok is feeling awful :( because what is he supposed to do :(

“so what should we do?” he asks really timidly

the nurse frowns and cleans up her things, “i would only suggest going home and staying at home until due date. it really is not recommended that we induce labour naturally but you need to be very careful. your son is not willing to turn on his own or with our help, so we will see what the situation is like during your very early stages of labour and we can discuss what method we go through with. are we leaning more towards a vaginal birth, miss l/n?”

you’re all snotty and sniffly but you nod. “please :( i really don’t wanna be cut open i saw what bella had to go through and im not doing that”

hoseok scoffs “twilight is not a reliable pregnancy source, baby.”

“i do believe that bella had no real pregnancy equipment and that her vampire husband had to cut the baby out of her without any sort of painkillers. in a worse case scenario, you do have to go through with a caesarean birth, you will be safe and we will do our best to relieve the pain for you.”

well that’s reassuring

when you two get home after a long day of panicking you’re incredibly alarmed to find that flat 18, hoseok’s close friends and your sister are all at your house like ??????? what are YOU DOING HERE

it’s like the spiderman meme

“what am i doing here??? i LIVE HERE??? what are YOU DOING HERE????”

“seunghee and yoongi said you were in labour???”

“well im not!!??? why would you think i was in labour?”

seunghee gets really defensive “UM hoseok was like on the verge of a mental breakdown at the front of the classroom and so it made sense that you were in labour?? im sorry???? at least we’re all here???”

you end up having to explain to a whole bunch of people that you’re NOT about to birth a pumpkin sized baby yet

but it’s really hard telling them that honey is like the wrong way :(

surprisingly it’s jimin and the married kims who are most worried about it

jimin just thinks that this means honey is like in real bad danger and he’s like omg :( my son from another mum :( wtf is honey okay?

and the married kims are never going to go through birth like this and so they do feel really alarmed

after hoseok reassures them that everything is (hopefully) okay everyone is sitting there like

:) ok what now

“....shall we order chinese food?” guk suggests

and so you all end up piled in the living room in weird positions watching hell’s kitchen whilst eating chinese food because :) might as well :)

40 WEEKS

your due date is like 4 days away

and you’ve been lying awake with really bad contractions for like 2 hours

but you’re so indignant like you refuse to believe you could be going into labour

hoseok is awake too and omg he’s doing his best

like he just doesn’t know how to help besides hugging you

and he does hug you like so closely and his hands running up and down your side and he’s like humming in your ear to try and take your mind off it

“i feel like im gonna fucking SHIT myself wtf”

he cant help but laugh sometimes, “wanna try for the toilet, baby?”

and you’re like “yeah im not really in the mood for like POOPINg in our bed is that okay?”

he’s already up and getting ready to help you walk across the room

lately you’ve been really wobbly whilst walking and in a lot of pain so he does whatever he can to help

he’s at the bottom of the bed and you’ve just stood up

….

huh

“i think i just peed myself?”

“what? why?”

“i didnt mean to!!!”

and you glance down

and wow thats a lot of pee

…

OH

“OH MY FUCKING GOD MY WATER JUST BROKE”

and oh my god hoseok has NEVER MOVED SO FAST IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE

he rushes to get all his things and honestly your stuff has been in the living room for the past week just in case

all you need now is to spend at least fifteen minutes trying to decide which book to take because obviously you’re gonna have loooaaaads of time to read

“Y/N YOU DONT NEED THE BOOK COME ON HONEY IS COMING WE HAVE TO GOOOOO”

what makes hoseok more panicked is the fact that yOU’re panicked

“omg y/n please calm down i’m driving as fast as i can please please please omg”

“I CANT WHY IS HE COMING NOW HE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE YET”

hoseok crosses like 2 red lights and he’s freaking out double

“I JUST BROKE THE LAW”

“OKAY AND IM HAVING A FUCKING BABY SO KEEP DRIVING MISTER!!!”

you’re an angry birther

as he drives you decide to call jeongguk through the car because #technology

he answers like immediately

“hi babe whats up”

“JEONGGUK IM HAVING A BABY RIGHT NOW PLEASE COME TO THE HOSPITAL”

“what wha-WHAT OH MY FUCKING GOD HE’S COMING??”

“YES PLEASE TELL EVERYBODY- oh fuck hobi it hurtSSSS i wanna go home im not pushing him out yet-”

in the background guk has dropped his phone and is literally screaming around the house

in the back you can hear all of the flat screaming together because HONEY IS COMING

nobody is calm

when yoongi finds out he literally does not know what to do

when you hang up mid sentence he sits staring at the wall like “....omg”

quite literally everybody is a little stressed out when you’re at the hospital

your room is really nice and you’re like “oh wow hoseok you really spoiled me here, too bad i can’t enjoy it because im pushing out a WATERMELON”

obviously because honey is bum first instead of head first things are a little complicated

you’re actually really far in labour already like your mom said it took her like 5 hours to have your sister but turns out it’s been like 32 minutes exactly since your waters broke at home and the nurses seem to think you’re ready now

“NOW??? AS IN RIGHT NOW!!!”

“yep!! let’s bring your son into the world!!”

you discover by simply listening to the nurses that you’re going to be attempting an assisted breech vaginal birth and immediately you get panicked and flustered

you promised haseul and seunghee that they could be there during the birth :(

you had offered it to guk at first but he was like “i am nOT ready to see your vagina i’m sorry” and jimin said he wasn’t sure if he was up for seeing you in a lot of pain during the birth

and yoongi didn’t really want to be there for it because he’s a bit like both guk and jimin

hoseok didn’t mind at all that seunghee and haseul were asked to be there

in fact he was really encouraging of that fact

because both of them were there since the start

like

they watched u pee on those pregnancy tests

so you’re getting really anxious because what if honey comes before they’re here

“miss l/n i need you to breathe for me- please control your breathing! are miss l/n’s scheduled guests here?”

“...they’re in the lobby right now. they’re on their way, miss l/n. keep doing those breathing exercises- yes, there we go!”

hoseok is being nothing but supportive

he’s wiping down your head and holding your hand so tight

“you’re doing amazing, baby, you’re so so brave, i love you”

FINALLY haseul and seunghee bust through the doors

guk, jimin and yoongi are currently like milling around somewhere and your parents and hoseok’s parents have been told the news by guk and yoongi

you’re really fucking scared to have this baby

you did the stupid thing of googling what happens during a breech birth and it made you have a full blown panic attack after reading that honey could die during delivery

now that everything is ready for birth you’re really so scared that honey might not make it

before the midwives prop up your legs on the stirrups you take a good amount of gas an air

an epidural was suggested but hoseok knows that it’s not going to make that much of a difference for honey

and you just want to get him out of you quite honestly Nobody has time for an epidural like just get him out

hoseok feels AWFUL when you’re literally screaming in agony over honey

seunghee and haseul are being so encouraging but all hoseok can do is like stare with tears in his eyes because oh no WHAT HAS HE DONE

the midwives encourage you also with a hands off approach until honey’s bum and bottom half is out

their so vocal and warm like “you’re doing amazing, y/n, just keep pushing!! i can see his feet!!!”

and so you just go for it

you’re mentally praying you don’t like pass out from pushing too hard or worse, shit all over the bed because apparently THAT’S A THING

you’re too busy crying to notice that the midwives look really shocked when honey’s bottom half is out

hoseok gets curious and decides to make sure honey is okay

and he looks and is like “oh WHAT THE FUCK?”

only he doesn’t actually say that

actually he doesn’t say anything

“keep pushing, y/n, h-he’s almost out.”

why are they so hesitant

oh god it hurts so bad

you want to die

you don’t want to have a baby anymore

and then finally

RELEASE

you feel like you can’t breathe but oh my god

the sound of honey SCREAMING is like music to your ears because

HE’S OKAY

but why is everyone acting so WEIRD

you peer up over your legs and take a glance at honey like squirming in the midwives hands

and

oh

Oh WHAT THE FU-

“oh my god his penis fell off!!!!!!!”

honey is a GIRL???????????

HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN???????

you don’t really care that it’s not a boy but like. YOU THOUGHT SHE WAS A BOY

regardless the midwives do their thing and hoseok is back next to you like :O

“you did so well i’m so proud of you i love you so much- you did it! you did it you’re okay honey is okay!”

“honey is a GIRL?”

haseul is torn between being sad and happy because she wanted it to be a girl she kNEW FROM THE START THAT HONEY WAS DESTINED TO BE A GIRL

it turns out that the sonographer was never 100% on it being a boy and all this time the “penis” was probably just a toe or something or a glitch

because honey is definitely a little girl

a precious beautiful little baby girl

hoseok’s baby girl

he totally cries

no

he WEEPS

there are no dry eyes in the birthing room rn

honey is so gorgeous

she definitely has hoseok’s features like she has his eyes and his nose and his ears :(

the midwives let mommy hold honey for a little while

“skin to skin is very important!!! she’s not a little boy like expected, but she’s a perfectly healthy baby!”

if she wasn’t covered in disgusting gloop you would have kissed her all over

but as a mother that instinct is there

you kiss her forehead and her hands and you’re looking up at hoseok like what the fuck we mADE THIS PRECIOUS LITTLE HUMAN

hoseok is crying as if he just had to endure twenty five minutes of agony and had his vagina ripped open

he’s just so happy right now

thats his kid

HIS

THATS HIS BABY GIRL

HIS TWO BABY GIRLS!!!!!

his emotions have been a big fat rollercoaster like it went from panic when your water broke to major panic when seunghee and haseul hadn’t arrived and then horror when you were like screaming in agony and then shock when he thought that honey’s penis has fallen off during BIRTH because NOBODY EXPECTED HONEY TO PULL THE BIGGEST PLOT TWIST OF THE YEAR

now he’s like over the moon he’s so so so so happy

the nurses help get the placenta out but honestly you’re just numbed like you barely register it shooting out

“okay daddy, wanna cut the cord?”

he’s like “no i really dont it looks like a big weird worm”

he still does it anyway

it’s a weirdly fulfilling experience

when it’s time to clean up little honey, you finally break the news to everyone outside

they’re in a mild state of utter confusion

guk is like “well what happened? did it like. grow inside? where did it go?”

and jimin’s like “oh. so it was just a toe or something”

guk is really a little bit disappointed because he wanted a boy so badly but !!! a baby girl !!! a niece!!!!!

(he figures honey will like dinosaurs and naruto all the same as what boy honey would have)

hoseok has made the bed his bed also

he’s snuggled next to you and you have honey on your chest and she’s sleeping so soundly :’)

“have you guys picked a name?”

guk is halfway through eating the fruit salad that haseul made before leaving to get here on time (“you were late because you were making A FRUIT BOWL?” “IM SORRY I WAS HALFWAY THROUGH MAKING IT AND I COULDN’T JUST LEAVE IT”)

you and hoseok hadn’t thought much about it to be honest

although you had talked about it a few weeks earlier

(“i like the name jiyun for a boy” hoseok had said one evening. the two of you had decided that honey should have a korean name like their daddy and you were a-okay with it!! for the sake of your family you were willing to give him or her an english name that you were still undecided on.

you tested out the name. “jiyun. jung jiyun. omg it sounds really cute! what does it mean!!”

“hmm it can mean many things usually, but its usually meaning happiness and posterity, soft sleekness.”

“oh, so it’s one of THOSE names where it has like three meanings.”

“yeah :D”

you laugh. “okay, and how about a girl?”

“how come I’M the one making the decisions???”

“i’m saying yes or no, i’m helping!!”

hoseok huffs and hugs you closer. “uhh, okay. well. me and yoongi had talked about this, and he agreed that yeojin is a cute name. jung yeojin. it means beautiful and precious.”

you...fall in love with that name

“ngl i kinda want honey to be a girl now.”

“omg just for the NAME??? thats cheap”)

you nod at guk sleepily

the room is actually sort of filled with people

because hoseok wrote a book and was on tv he’s Hashtag special

flat 18 are in the room rn because yoongi had to run to pick up namjoon and seokjin and your parents are still like. not ready or here

hoseok’s family couldn’t be here because they were vacationing in europe and their flight got cancelled

“jung yeojin!”

everyone is really satisfied with that name

“are you giving her an english name, too?” seunghee asks, sitting next to the bed with her finger tucked in yeojin’s grasp

you have this twinkle in your eye as you smile down at yeojin and then up at hoseok

“i think the name honey has quite a ring to it, don’t you think?”

hoseok can’t smile any wider holy fuck

“mhm. i couldn’t agree more.”

(seokjin and namjoon arrive later than expected, but seokjin cries as if he was there for the entire thing.)

this. took. so . long. to. upload. but. i . love /. it

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