#Moms slay

[that-one-fangirl69]

Badassary my mom has gotten into in the past

Ok so there was this one time in college.

And, for the record, my mom didn't take shit from ANYBODY.

So she had this really annoying roommate named Alex. Alex was a very, VERY short little Puerto Rican girl with a HUGE attitude. To compare height, my mom was 5'4" and Alex was like barely past her shoulder.

They really didn't like one another so they kinda just ignored each other for the most part.

But this one day, my mom was putting her hair up for her college soccer team practice. (my mom was and still is as athletic as they come) And Alex comes in with her friend and is acting all cocky for no reason.

And, just to act tough, comes over to my mom and just smacks my mom on the forehead. (not hard but still)

And my mom looks at her and goes, "Alex. Don't touch me." Very much threatening her. And Alex, being the bitch that she was, gets right up into her face and smacks her on the head again. And as soon as she did my mom FULL ON RIGHT HOOKS HER IN THE FACE.

Alex stumbled back onto the ground and like shook herself off a bit. AND GETS UP AND CHARGES MY MOTHER TO FIGHT.

You wanna know what my mom did?

She stiff-armed her.

And Alex is swinging and cussing my mom out but she just held her there.

Then an administrator came by and broke them up.

The best part is,

After that they both requested a room change and it was denied. They still didn't like each other but got along slightly better.

Years later, after college I think, Alex reaches out to my mom.

AND ASKS HER TO BE ONE OF HER BRIDESMAIDS

LIKE BITCH WHAT??

My mom told her, "Alex, no. We were NEVER that close."

——————————

So in.. I wanna say high school, my mom was walking between classes right?

And like i said before, my mom is a 5'4", back then probably around 120 pound girl.

And this dude in her school HAD THE AUDACITY DO GROPE HER ASS IN THE HALLWAY. But my mom was a total badass. (if you cant tell)

So my mom WHIPPED HER HEAD AROUND, PINNED HIM TO A WALL, STUCK HER KNEE IN BETWEEN HIS LEGS AND PRACTICALLY GROWLED AT HIM,

"Touch me again and your nuts will be in your nose."

LIKE- SLAY MOM

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So this is in like.. 5th grade I wanna say..

Idk it was somewhere in elementary or middle school

Anyway, so it was recess and my mom got into an argument with this one like, big girl. Like tall and a bit heavy. And again, my mom is short af and skinny as hell.

Then the argument gets more heated and this girl grabbed a chunk of my mom’s hair at the nape of her neck and yells, "YOU SEE THIS? IM GONNA RIP IT OUT"

AND MY MOM DEADASS GRABS THE HAIR, RIPS IT OUT HERSELF, HOLDS IT OUT TO HER AND JUST SAID,

"Here."

The girl looked at my mom like she was crazy (lowkey she is) and walked away.

My mom said it hurt like a bitch, it ended up scabbing over and everything but "it was worth it."

Keep slaying like my mom💅

[higher-noon]

Was anyone going to tell me that Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London, was the one who narrated Slay the Princess, or was I just supposed to feel bad for thinking all British guys reading horror sounded the same by myself?

[almondcroissantsandink]

The Thomas Thorne Affair

[itsonlypolite]

(Tumblrs having trouble with the image order, I've been trying to fix this and that's why the ask is a screenshot 😅)

Sure thing! (And don't worry, you haven't!) I don't know how to introduce this comic, beyond that the joke Contra tells in it I first heard when I was like 6 and I cried my eyes out.

[phatcatphergus]

Omfg in another life tubbo is the coach for Sunny’s soccer team. The PTA moms don’t like him bc he’s basically like a child (why ft does he have a kid???) and shows up late to practice sometimes in his old ass “fixer” car that he built from scratc but every girl on the team LOVES him bc he lets them wear whatever color uniform they want. They all respond with “YES COACH” during drills and gets them fruit snacks for after the game. He’s super intense and screaming like it’s the World Cup during the 7am Saturday games but the team wins every game back to back. He also has a pink jersey that the girls made him with the word “coach” bedazzled on the back.

[cuntygeorgeharrison]

[catsauceeartofficial]

This is a love story.

[ashchoo]

uh yeah I recently just gained motivation to do mob au shit so here ya go

the family everrrr GRARARAR im normal about them guys trust

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hhh tw for blood, slight eye strain and severed head ig

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mob Ashton really goin crazy fr fr…..guess their vampire side is showin now

also outfit refs cuz yeaaaa :D

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[@clownsuu, @thelone-copper, @frenchfry99]

[azural83]

Yo shoutout scalene cipher for being the only relevant gravity falls mother

[chanrizard]

Felix x VOGUE KOREA

[dear-ao3]

as a white girl dating an asian guy i don’t think we have that many cultural differences most of the time and then i stay over his house for a few days and while i am there i buy a small dresser that needs to be painted and ask to keep it in his parents garage until i move into my apartment and it kind of smells musty so i call my mom and ask her what i should do to get the smell out and she tells me baking soda or charcoal pellets but it should really be sanded but under No Circumstance should i do that at my boyfriends house because it is Disrespectful and so i hang up and go downstairs to tell my boyfriend we need to go to go get some baking soda and find his dad sanding down the dresser and telling me to go pick out some paint for it

[p1nkgl1tterpr1ncess]

[tommytomatoe]

i need a lesbian version of the redacted universe and i need it NOW! i’d destroy butch sam and smother femme porter it’s not even funny

[rookmagpie]

my beautiful, lovely mother made me a crochet micah rat plush. <3

under the cut is the mouse pattern. Please note that the shirt, hat, and mustache do not come with a pattern

[wheatwhip]

Odysseus's mom's verse in The Underworld literally fills me with indescribable sadness. It's a hint at a life before, that Ithaca is more than Penelope and Telemachus. It's a moment of real vulnerability, of something he didn't even know he would have a chance to loose. His mom.

I really hope she remains mentioned in Aphrodite's God's Games. She doesn't bring up Penelope, she brings up his mother's pure love for him and confirms she died of grief waiting for him. Odysseus loosing Polities and the others to the cyclops is the level of grief his mother spent years coping with.

Then bouncing back to The Underworld as you remember, His Mom's verse comes RIGHT after Polities's. In the moment he's truly feeling the grief for his friend, he's faced with knowing that's exactly what his mother felt for him and died from without any resolution.

[tootles338]

What am I doing with my life