#gollum <333< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[nonbinarygerard]

painting my cat!

[daddyshelob]

me, every time i go on a scout trip: this is so tolkiencore of me

[sanccharine]

HI MY LOVE

HI MY PRECIOUS

[senseofnewness]

what are your own like personal headcanons about art donaldson!!! i love hearing about silly thoughts people have <333 (i love your writing btw!!)

(thank you bby <3)

random art donaldson headcanons

• at 31 years old, art donaldson still can't grow a full mustache. it's as if god took all the body hairs meant for him and gave them to patrick zweig instead.

• art wears tom ford’s azure lime, a fragrance that is fresh and crisp, with none of the heavy muskiness you might expect. some might say it smells a bit feminine, but it suits him well, at least, it always smells clean.

• he named his daughter lily after his grandmother, liliane. although she didn't raise him, they shared a special bond. it was liliane who introduced him to tennis.

• he is a secret fan of the lord of the rings and occasionally quotes gollum, much to tashi’s annoyance, who rolls her eyes at the nerdy side of her husband.

• his favorite food is lasagna, but not the kind you'd expect. he doesn't crave the gourmet freshly made lasagna his personal chef prepares. what he really loves is the store-brand frozen lasagna, the kind that comes in a box and is microwaved. tashi only allows him to eat it on his birthday.

• out of all his body parts, hands are probably his favorite. which is why he finds holding hands to be one of the most intimate gestures. he prefers sturdy hands with slender fingers and manicured nails.

• art had never blocked patrick’s number all those years, just so he could one day say "the phone works both ways" if patrick ever tried to blame him for their falling out.

• he has an irrational fear of spiders. if he spots one in a room, he cannot bring himself to sleep in there, even if tashi has killed the spider for him. in his mind, the spider’s family might be plotting revenge, and that thought is enough to keep him awake at night.

• art donaldson hates the taste of coffee, no matter how many times he had tried to like it in an effort to appear more mature. to him, it always tastes like straight-up dirt. he prefers to stick with vanilla milk.

• he has tried the curly girl method countless times, hoping to restore the curly texture his hair once had as a teenager. despite his efforts and the many products he has tried, his hair remains persistently straight.

• art chews his nails when nervous. and he will chew on anything else he can get a grip on as well. tashi tries to break this habit by painting his nails with bitter nail polish but it doesn't stop him from biting them, it just tastes like shit now.

• art rarely swears or gets angry, but when he does, tashi knows he will spend the entire day brooding. it's all about muttered complaints and scowls. the only thing that typically soothes him is a warm bath.

• when lily was born, art sobbed so loudly that the nurses had to ask him to quiet down to avoid disturbing the other babies in the hospital wing. tashi was so mortified that she pretended not to know him.

[nsfw]

• he wears those tiny underwears because he doesn't feel supported in anything else. he needs his pink fuzzy balls to be secured on the court. a lesson he learned the hard way. when he was fifteen, one of his balls slipped through the leg of his loose boxers during a match, and patrick teased him about it for months. ever since that day, he has sworn off boxers entirely.

• when patrick taught art how to jerk off, art waited for patrick to be asleep to look closely at the sock patrick had used. he studied the slimy stains, comparing the cum to his own, just to make sure everything was normal with him.

• he isn’t a fan of quickies. he prefers to take his time with tashi, believing that making love is about enjoying every moment and taking the time to bring her to the edge. to him, it’s not really making love if she doesn’t climax too. however, there are times when he becomes so horny after a particularly intense practice session, where tashi had pushed him harder than usual, that a quickie becomes necessary.

• he has incredibly sensitive nipples and gets easily aroused when they’re touched or teased. when tashi wants to make him shut up during an argument, she just pinches them and he starts whimpering.

• sometimes he can't help but think about the fact that patrick had been with tashi before him, and it turns him on. the thought of them together becomes a driving force, turning into a personal competition. he feels the need to prove to tashi that he is the best sex she will ever have.

• tashi used threats of her strap-on as a way to motivate him during his matches, but now, instead of fear, it has become a source of excitement. art knows that each victory means tashi is waiting for him at home with her silicone cock, ready to celebrate.

[khihi]

Okay so seeing as the stream doesn't seem to be coming back any time soon here's the highlights of Munich (so far):

Crowd chanting "SUOMI SUOMI SUOMI" when Jere said he's from Finland 🥹🥹🥹

"In Finland when we say hi we say HIIIII!! 🖕"

Asking around the room what country they were from, starting with asking if people were from Slovenia, of course

Stating his respect for Ukraine 💛💙

Saying thank you to the crowd again for coming, just generally seeming in awe that people are showing up for him outside of Finland :((( <333

"We are safe family here" 🥺 followed by acting out a fight scene lmao

Turning into Gollum when someone gave him a Bulbasaur ring dfasdasadfhs

*chanting* HUHHAHHEI!! HUHHAHHEI!! HUHHAHHEI!! HUHHAHHEI!!

"Huhhahhei is stupid name, who write a fucking stupid name? ME!! 😃"

[snekberry]

The want to draw your Jarchivist is warring with my fear of not being able to do them justice

Aaaaaaaa

Precious precious little archivist (Gollum noises)

HSKJGHSDG Please feel free to draw my Jarchivist anytime anon hehe <333

[kiwinatorwaffles]

lotr in hermitcraft. gollum gets isekaid into hermitcraft after falling into the volcano, starts biting people, and impulse just holds him up by the scruff of his neck like a cat and takes him to bdubs who starts fistfighting the green guy IMMEDIATELY. insert the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny here with all of the hermits either joining in or trying to break up the fight. grumbot somehow wins by giving both bdubs and gollum a paper cut

i feel like while gollum is causing problems on purpose the hobbits would have a grand old time just walking around in the bare grass. also imagine if they meet scar, gem, and impulse it would basically be looking at mirror reflections of their world except the elves are deranged for some reason and impulse built his whole fucking cave with his own two hands

doc would just squat down like awwww ur so cute look you guys are so small do you want some tomatoes :333 while the other hermits are screaming bloody murder in the background because of gollum

(also scar + gandalf = big naturals. sorry)

[blue-aconite]

what are some of your hobbies other than writing?

Elle, baby <333

I like running, painting, reading, doing crossword puzzles, watching football (soccer), hoarding plants like Gollum hoards the One Ring, CATS (yes, this is a hobby)!

[mulletjoong]

y’all my hair loss is getting really bad i fuckin look like gollum. i think im going to have to shave it for real like you can see so much of my scalp and it would legit look better shaved at this point.

shout out to my doctors not caring enough to figure out what’s going on <333

[theharrowing]

Jus came over from Ao3 to see what youre about and I was scrolling thru your shit and you're super SUPER sweet what the fuck. No offense but I thought you would be kind of cold because of how you write and sometimes when people comment in comments like "omg thank you for reading <333!!!!!!" it feels like it might be an act but you are genuinely actually Kind Of precious. Very Kind Of precious.

ANON HELLO, HELLOOO!!!

LMAO i typed in "my precious" with the expectation of getting gollum from lotr and i got YOONGI. perfect. even better. joke completely ruined, but we move!!!

wow, you are so kind!!! thank you so much for saying this! 😍🥰🥰 there are times when i can be a little cold, but i try to put a sweet side forward. i never know what kind of day someone is having, so i like to try my best to be a positive experience. even when my writing is, well...harrowing hehe.

WELCOME TO THIS UHHHH WEIRD, CHAOTIC MESS OF A PLACE. i hope it treats you well!!!!! 💜 i feel like several people may be coming over from ao3 and it is nice to see you all!!! i hope to have updates soon!!!! feel free to say hi any time if you would like!!!

[kimjiwoong]

Good idea. What do you think, should I come off anon, so the other nonnie can find me or nah, too much embarrassing craziness on my part and I should save face? But in my defense: None of my friends go as crazy about him, so it's me gollum-ing in the corner on the regular. Hence I just used the opportunity rn

OMG YEAH dk anons unite!! <333 if the other dk anon is reading this they should totally tell me if they're down

[woozi]

my dearest love yza-

FR it's like my boat from the war is finally back in the harbour after 328032 years and my darling beloved wife is standing there waving a white handkerchief. actually i think that might be for seeing your husband off to war. much to think about?? the sentiment still stands though. rest assured i looked at your picture in my heart locket during all the trying times <333 mwah

also WOAH icb you're in your last semester already!!! time FLIES. we both will be entering the workforce soon 👊 i'll be taking a gap year and getting a job hopefully so!! do you know what you might want to work in?

U ARE SO SLAY DEAREST WIFE <333 also woah no way it's been 6months i didn't realise i'd dipped for that long 😭😭 life got busy many apologies. it seems the exams just don't end 😭 rip us. thank you!!! and good luck w all your exams and final semester things!! <333 also YES wife material i will stand in your kitchen all day long wearing a cute apron and baking you things <333 honestly i love to bake anything!! cakes breads biscuits it's all so slay. tarts are nice too but i know my place and don't fuck w them too much. do you have a favourite baked good?

i hope that the days are treating you so so well!!! the actual loml and my precious [gollum voice but in a romantic way] the apple of my eye the resident of my heart much love MWAH 💕💕💖💖❣❣

honey

MY HONEY DARLING SWEETESTTTTTTTTTT <3333

not the boat from war 😭😭😭😭 no bc same </3

I KNOW?????????/ it's insane, last time we were just in the middle of everything and now we're here 😭 ALSO SO COOL OMG?????? where do you wanna work? my family runs a business, so naturally i'd also be managing it some time in the future, but i was thinking of gaining some experience in the outside world (most likely in corporate) before that!! honestly i've always struggled with not being very sure what i want to do bc i'm pretty much capable of covering a variety of jobs but atp in time i'm not very interested in any specific field fjdfkjjfd but i still really love managing and organizing things so that's probably what i'll go into hehehe

ALSO NOOOOOOO no need to apologize at all, i'm really more than glad you even stop by to hang out with me when u can <33 and when they end we'll probably miss them LMFAOO but for now i hope u can still rest through all the hustle n bustle!! WEARING A CUTE APRON PLS FDKJJKJKFDKJDF also that's so cool omg i'm not very good at baking but i can also bake 😋 I LOVE MILK BUNS <3333 WITH FLOSS

NOT GOLLUM???????? made me laugh sm uRE SO SO CUTEEEEE 😭😭😭 lov u sm hope ur days are always sexie <3333333 MWAH

[boromorous]

I HAVE A MOST AMUSING THOUGHT!

Okay so a sort of AU where Erebor or dwarrows have a law that says the crime of Theft shall be punishable by taking the hand of the thief. BUT it didn't specify WHICH hand! So with some creative lawyer-ing (and maybe fae-took logic idk) we end up with Thorin being stuck with Bilbo's Hand in Marriage!!! Idk how this'll work but omfg i just had to share the vibes with you (and also aksjdjsksklkkdkd i freaking adore your art you funky human you!!!)

A VERY AMUSING THOUGHT INDEED!!

Honestly this is so hilarious, and fits perfectly with Bilbo's classic method of talking his way out of danger XD Trolls? Gollum? Dragons? Upset dwarven kings? just talk some circles around them and you'll be fine. I'm sure Thorin will recognize what a privilege it is to have Bilbo's hand in marriage after he gets over the fact he's been duped (again) <333 also sidenote: the fact you called it "Fae-Took Logic" cracks me up. These quick witted little Tooks, dude!! Makes me think about how Pippin gets a bad rap- being considered stupid when he's genuinely a smart little hobbit! in fact, most of the reason people think him stupid is because he is openly curious! Bilbo is a curious guy too- and it bites them both in the ass for it, but i guess as Tooks they can't help it XD

[numbaoneflaya]

Knock Knock Knockity Knock! Trick or Treat! What are you ocs dressing up as for halloween??

BELOVEDD <333 HELLOOOO <333 TY FOR THE ASK

Jilly: nosferretu. vampire ferret. just for the shits and giggles. OR shell be a weazard- weasel wizard. Whatever has the best mustelid aligned pun tbh

Mike: Either Elvis or Edward from twilight. Sometimes Frankenstein, sometimes Frank N Furter. Will go so hard out of their way to scare ppl that they end up w black eyes and are proud of it.

Ciggy: Before death: Changed his costume up every year. one year its Gollum, the next its Barbie, then its count chocula, then its undead marilyn monroe. King of halloween, often matched up costumes w mike. After death: Ghost. Wears a white sheet with eye holes and wanders around making moaning sounds- then when someone rips the sheets off theres no one ther and it scares the SHIT out of ppl.

Kilaine: Does not dress up. If she does, it will be a very stereotypicalzombie bride or undead doctor. Will being her own brandy hidden in her sleeves and will NOT share.

Sarge: Really enjoys the kick of dressing up as fantasy serial killers, since IRL he pretty much is one. The tallest Jason, Leatherface, Michael Myers etc you will ever see. Always figures out a way to get his top unbuttoned so his tits can be prominent.

[lesbianwyllravengard]

for the blorbo ask game: lotr, the hobbit, tolkien in general 👀

AHHHH THANK YOU THIS IS SO FUN! <333

Send me a fandom (Tolkienverse) and I’ll tell you my:

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): gotta be Thorin Oakenshield himself, my man my gender envy my king

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): Faramir for sure. I want to cup his face and kiss his forehead. Purest bestest boy

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): FILI MY BELOVED!!! Also Éowyn!!! She's so great but gets so overlooked by lots of fans I love her to death

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): obligatory Tom Bombadil mention <3

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): Frodo under "pathetic fave" bc he is pretty pathetic dhdhdshs

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): Bilbo but in a funny affectionate way. I would be like Gandalf forcing him into situations he thinks are tormenting but actually help change him for the better. Also Kili but in a "I think you're a bastard and you deserve to be humbled down" kind of way djfydjsjajs.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): FUCKING GOLLUM. Also yk like Alfrid, Wormtongue, Denethor, Azog, the shitty characters who deserve it.

[shadonut]

Babies...

They shot a hair commercial right after

@shadonut :))