#golden ticket awards

[forlix]

@txtxlz HAZ WE FUCKING DID IT MY BABY. WE FUCKING DID IT

[morningmantra]

Cedar Fair Parks Win Three Golden Ticket Awards for 2023

[spidybaby]

Footnote | Part Two

Summary: After you close the chapter of him in your life, he will open your chapter to keep writing on it, hoping you would let him do it.

Warnings: cursing, mentions of surgery, asshole!gavi (kinda)

A/N: Hi, I want to apologize for the time I took to write this, something happened and I wasn't in the best mood to write. But I hope that you like it <3

Part one | Part three

"Papi, can you help me?"

You walked downstairs with your computer in hand. You wanted him to critique your most recent paper.

You've been working on it for a month. It was worth a big portion of your grade, and you needed it to be perfect.

Your father reads it carefully, making sure to think about the inside context of your work. He finishes way too quick for your liking.

"It's good." He smiles.

You frown. Looking at your laptop and back at him. "Just good?" You smile.

"I mean, I kinda got lost halfway through it, but it's good, princess."

You take a deep breath, you needed more than just > it's good < you needed someone to tell you every little mistake without caring if it was going to make you mad.

You needed someone who would help you give you an idea or a suggestion to get the paper better.

You close your laptop, roll your eyes, and thank him for the help. You were back on square one. You needed to trust your intuition and check it one more time on your own.

"What?" He asks.

"Nothing, thank you." You say, walking away.

"Then what's up with the eyes rolling?"

"Dad, I need more than just an >it's good<. I need you to read it and give me your thoughts, give me your honest opinion on what you like and dislike, what you find confusing and what you feel needs to change."

"I think it's good, isn't that enough?" He asks. You roll your eyes again, walking past him to get out of his office. "Well, I'm sorry, I'm not Pablo." He shouts as you walk upstairs.

You shut your door angry. He was right. He's not him.

He was the one you would trust your work, he would give you his honest opinion, and you trusted him with your heart.

He was your safe space.

"No entiendo cuál es el problema, dáselo!" (I don't get what's the problem, just give it to her) Aurora says, confused look on her face.

"Joder, no quieres que también me arrodille a pedirle que sea mi esposa?" (don't you want me to get in one knee and ask her to marry me?) Pablo says, rolling her eyes at his sister's proposal.

He got the tickets for the Ballon D'or Ceremony, he was getting the golden boy award. Originally, he was getting a ticket for his parents, his sister and for you.

But since you are not part of that equation anymore, he has to give somebody the ticket left.

Aurora rolled her eyes and told him to give it to Paula, since he seems to favors her over you. Pablo immediately declined. Paula was not even on the options list.

"She doesn't get me like Y/n did" he says, sad eyes.

Aurora then suggested him to talk to you. To mend things and to get you to go with them to Paris. He again declined the idea, he didn't felt ready to do so.

"Then I'm not sure what else to say" she throws a pillow at him. "You were the one who fucked things up, Pablo."

Pablo turns his face to her, mouth open to the point its hurting. "I did not" he shouts.

Aurora laughed, she heard both Pablo's point of view and her brother's. She was mortified when you told her what happened. She wanted to kill Pablo with a pillow.

"You did." she says, smiling at him. "You literally rejected her over some girl who you don't even find attractive, just funny."

Pablo can't defend himself. He did fucked up.

"If you don't find Paula someone attractive, then why are you with her?" she asked, not understanding her brother. "You had the chance to be with the girl you know and who knows you, every flaw, every picky thing, every little detail."

Pablo shakes his head, not feeling like having the conversation with Aurora. He can't even open his gallery without feeling like crying at how much he misses you.

"Okay, one more smile and we are good" the photographer says, pointing the camera back at you.

You smile, holding the glass trophy in your hands. After the flash shoots at you, you stopped smiling. You didn't feel happiness or proudness.

You got a trophy and a honorary mention in your College Magazine. That magazine is read by a lot of local poets and important writers. The teachers and the head of the college Magazine congratulate you.

They all were proud of you for the amazing work you did with the poem of "Footnote."

To you it was just a mask, you didn't feel happy about winning with that one work. It was just a dump of your feelings about the Pablo situation, it wasn't meant to be a prestigious thing.

You walked upstairs with your trophy in hand. Your mom noticed you were quiet and lost, so she follows you to your room.

You throw the trophy in the garbage bin near your bed, you don't want to see anything that reminds you of Pablo, and that included that poem.

"What are you doing?" you mom asks, walking inside and picking the award, reading it. "You won an award?"

You nod, changing and getting into bed, you wanted to sleep and to have some time for yourself. Your parents were worried about you, so their plan was to make you as much company as possible.

"Y/n, I'm talking to you." she says, stern tone. "Why did you threw this?"

"Mom, I'm tired." you whine, you cover yourself with the blanket, avoiding the conversation. "Go away, find someone else to bother."

But she wasn't having it, she threw the cover off of you. The look on her face is making you regret saying that. "Cuál es tu problema?" (what is your problem?) she asks, tired of your attitude.

"I don't have a problem, I just want to sleep."

"Well, you are not." she grabs your arm, pulling it up and making you sit. "Why did you threw this?" she asks again.

You don't want to cry again.

You already cry enough for a lifetime, enough for the next ten heartbreaks. Enough for the rest of your failed love life.

"Y/n, mija" she seats in bed with you. "I know this is hard for you, but you have to stop with this mentality, this won't be beneficial for you. You need to get a grip, put on some makeup, and just get better. As harsh as that sounds, that's necessary for you. You need this."

You nod, wiping your tears.

"I just miss him so much." you confess.

"I know, and I would love to take your pain away, but Pablo made his choice, and you need to accept that even if that choice hurst you, you need to keep going. You can't just be a bed bug and live you life trying to escape someone. You are not that girl."

You nod, smiling at her and giving her a hug. "Thank you, mami."

"Now, get some rest. I'm taking you out to celebrate your award." She kisses your temple, getting up and walking to the door. "Don't worry, Honey. It will all go away."

"It will all go away" you repeat, nodding and smiling.

"Joder, que ya voy" Pablo yells, walking quickly to the door.

The knocks are consistent and very desperates, he feels like someone is being murdered on the other side.

"Paula?" he asks, confused on what the girl is doing at his house. "Why are you here?"

She scuff, rolling her eyes and walking inside. She takes a seat on his couch, looking at him while he close the door and walks very slowly to where she is.

"Well?"

"Pablo, tell me what you asked me two days ago?"

"Qué?" he's more confused now, what is she even talking about? "How am I supposed t-"

"You asked me." She interrupts him. "Hey, want to get some coffee? I said yes, you then said, Let's meet at this place I like, see you there at 3 o'clock on Wednesday."

He then remembers, he did asked her to go out, but he was so busy with his own mind that he forgot about her. He feels bad because she doesn't deserve that, but at the same times it's a mistake, shit happens, right?

"That still doesn't answer why are you here." he says, very careless about what she just told him.

"Gavi!" she whines, "You left me there, by myself."

"Okay?"

"For more than an hour." she yells.

He then looks at the clock, it was almost five.

"Sorry, I guess."

"Oh, you guess?" she laughs. "Don't tell me you are still crying over her."

He frowns. "What are you talking about?"

He hopes she says that she got confused and that it was nothing. But she didn't, she looked at him with this dirty look of hers, eyes roaming around the room while trying to get the right words.

"Your friends told me that you and Y/n are not friends anymore, and after the party you have been so distant and just so out of your mind, if it's not that, then what is?"

Pablo clench his jaw, he doesn't want to talk about you with his own family, and he won't start doing it with her. He knows Paula is just doing that to get a reaction out of him.

"Please leave. I don't feel good, sorry that I forgot."

That was a first with her.

But it wasn't the end.

"So you are not coming to my birthday party?" she asks, mad at the boy in front of her. "Gavi, you promised."

He rolls his eyes, tired of her whining. He regrets even inviting giving her a follow back after the party. Feeling tired of how she always pressure him into doing things he never like.

It was all so different with you.

You were one to stop him if you see he was about to do something he didn't feel comfortable with, if you noticed he was not in a good mood you would do things to make him feel better. You were his happiness on a grey day.

Now his grey days were just that, grey.

"I can't. I have to work."

She scuffs. "If I was Y/n, you would've call in sick."

He feels the shivers run down his spine. He can't lose his cool with her. He has to be patient and understand that she feels like the second girl in his life.

"That's not true, I can't miss this." He sighs, taking her hand. "I'll make it up to you." He smiles at her.

She just nods, cuddling into his arm. Pablo doesn't feel comfortable, he feels weird, why can't he feel the same way he did with you? That level of comfort.

He craves that.

When the movie is done Pablo feels lighter, he doesn't have to spend much time with Paula because she was going home. That bright up his mode.

"Do you want to order take out?" She asks.

"I shouldn't, I'm getting weighted soon." he pouts, looking at her.

"We can order some salads. I know a place that serves the best cesar, really healthy."

"It's getting late, maybe you should go home."

Pablo can tell that what he just said didn't sit right with her. Her eyes got glossy. But he can't be bothered by that. He doesn't react to that.

"I'll call you when I'm free." he stands up and walks to the kitchen to get some water.

He hears her closing the door. He then noticed a bad that was the exact one you have, in the same colour and everything. He then grab it, going after her.

He doesn't understand what happened, but his brain was in auto mode with the bag, thinking it was yours he calls your name.

Paula who was opening her car door, turns looking at him in disbelief. He called her by your name. He didn't even flinch or thought about it, he just said your name out loud.

"What did you just call me?"

Pablo then reacts, "Paula, sorry. Paula." he says her name twice to get it tru his head. "Your bag, you forgot it."

Paula snatch her bag out of his hands. "Don't ever call me by her name again, because last time I checked, I'm here and she's not. So stop it." she warns him.

That all it takes to make Pablo mad. He won't allow her to talk about you in that way, as if she knows you or knows anything about the relationship you two had.

"You are wrong there." he smiles.

"Qué?"

"Because you are not here, not anymore." he smirks. "I don't want to see you again. Block my number or something. I don't want you to talk about Y/n in any way. She might not be here right now, but to me, she's something you would never be. Important."

With that Pablo turns and closes the door of his home. Not having to worry about dealing with someone he doesn't want to see anymore.

"Mom, I don't feel good." you say, walking downstairs. "Can I stay here today?"

Your mom puts her hand on your forehead, feeling how warm you are. "I think it's best if we schedule a doctor's appointment."

Your dad calls for you, asking for an emergency appointment. You text your teacher that you will be absent and that you will turn in the doctor's note later.

"I'll go to the store and get some things for a soup, that would make you feel better." She says, kissing your hair. "I'll be right back."

While you feel like trash and curl in a ball on your couch. Pablo is searching for the ingredients Aurora requested him to take home. She was making him some food to celebrate his goals on the recent match.

He was texting everything he picked to his sister, trying to not make a mistake. He was looking at some spices when he saw your mom. He smile, he loves her, and she loves him.

He pokes her side, making her turn to see him. "Hola, mami." he jokes with her. He calls her mom from time to time. Always feeling like a part of the family.

"Pablito." She says happily. "Baby, how are you?"

"Been better." He pouts. Making her frown. "I miss you, I really do."

Your mom understands, she can't be mad at Pablo. To her, he was like a son. "Let's finish with our shopping and then we can go to the café down the street to talk, deal?"

He nods, happy that he can talk with someone he trust. He helps her finishing with picking her things. And she does the same for him. Pablo's demeanor changed, you can tell he's happy now. Not the sad puppy eyes he had when he first say hello.

He order for both your mom and himself, he knows her order since he was a kid. The usual for him. You know his mother's favorite things. Her favorite food, her favorite drink, the burger she would order. Everything.

"Want to tell me why you have those sad eyes?" She asks, hand over Pablos cheek. He melted into her touch, missing that motherly touch she has with him.

"I'm sure at this point you already know what happened between Y/n and me." he looks down. "I feel like my life is not the same since then."

She nods, understanding Pablo.

As much as she felt mad or angry with him when you told her the story. She can't be mad with him for long. Pablo was her other baby, and she knows he made a mistake.

"I know," She smiles. "But I need you to tell me your side of the story so I can understand you."

Pablo takes a deep breath, not sure on where to start. The party? The kiss? The other kiss? Where?

"My friends dared me to kiss someone named Paula, I said no, because I didn't wanted her to feel like I was interested. Then they told me to just kiss someone, and Y/n walked into the room. It was like a natural thing to think of her."

He won't keep anything inside, he wants someone to give him an honest point of view.

"We kissed, she asked me to take her home and I did. But-" he think for a second, not sure how to say to your mom > Hey, I kissed you daughter not once, but twice <

"But she kissed you again in the car." she finished the sentence for him, making him blush. "It's okay, don't keep anything."

"Then that happened, and I think after that the way I showed her affection was confusing for her. I didn't knew she had feelings for me. I think, I'm so used to being like that with her that I didn't think it enough."

"Do you have feelings for her?"

"I think I don't." he says, not sure of his own words. "I just think what we did after the kiss was something we always did. The hugs, the nicknames, the cuddling. It was all normal for us."

But was it?

"And when she found out I kissed her because of a dare. She confessed to me that she had feelings. I chicken out, I didn't wanted to lose my best friend. I didn't wanted to lose the only thing that was normal in my life." he sighs, eyes glossy at the feelings. "I regret hurting her like I did. I really do."

Your mom hugs him. Letting him feel the support he needed to feel. He needs to stop feeling guilty, he needs to stop thinking he's the bad guy of the story.

"Can I talk to her? I really need to do it. I want her back, my life it's not the same without her." he begs.

You mom smiles, noticing how all you two need is some serious guidance. You need you stop thinking like kids, and think a little more mature for situations like this.

"I don't think she's ready, Pablo." She shakes her head no. "She's not over the hurt feelings, and like that she won't talk with you. Let's wait a little more."

He nods, hugging her. He understand that you need your time. He can't be impulsive over your feelings like he was. You need to get over your grieve, and he will respect that.

You throw up again, feeling dizzy at how hot the room was. You don't have the energy to move back to bed. You want to call your mom, but your voice came as a whisper.

You lay down, trying to get the feeling of dizziness and the pain on your side. The bathroom floor is cold, making you feel a little better. You crawl back to your room, picking your phone from the nightstand and calling your father.

pablogavi

Liked by pedri, and 3,240,734 others

pablogavi ¡Estamos en la final! ¡Vamos @fcbarcelona ! 💙❤️

Your father was looking at his phone, waiting for you to wake up after your surgery. He was happy for Pablo and for the team. You all are Culers.

"Papi." You whisper, looking at him on the chair next to the hospital bed. "Where am I?"

"Hola, mi amor. You are in the hospital." he whispers too, combing your hair with his fingers. "You had an appendix emergency surgery."

You were still over the anesthesia, not fully understanding what was going on, and why were you there if you were just in pain. You just nod at him.

"Where's mom?"

"She's at home, taking a shower and grabbing some of your things, like your toothbrush and your hairbrush."

You just nod again. Feeling sleepy and tired, you touch gently your side, the covered wound making you shiver.

"Papi, where's Pablo?" you ask, confused on why isn't your friend there. "Can you call him? I want him here." you pout.

Your father looks at you with a frown, not understanding why you were asking to see Pablo when just a few nights ago you asked him to stop asking about him and the team.

"Are you sure you want me to call him?" he asks, just to make sure.

"Si." you whisper. "I want him here, please call him."

He search Pablo's number, dialing it and calling him. He walks out of the room to have a better voice to talk.

"Hello?"

"Pablo, son." he greets him. "Hope you are doing well."

"Hola, Sir." he greets. "I am, just got home from training, how are you? everything good?"

"Si, all good." he lies a little. "Just one small thing I need to ask you."

"Everything you want." he chuckles.

Your father sighs, not sure how to ask the guy you been trying not to talk to, to come visit you at the hospital.

"Y/n had a surgery, and she's fine!" he laughs, nervous. "And she asked me to call you, she says she wants you here."

Pablo got in alarm mode. Surgery? For what? Why?

"Si, please send me the address and I'll be there as soon as possible." He says, picking his sweater and his keys. Walking back into his car. "Do you need anything from your home? I can pick anything for you? Did you ate?"

Your father feels happy to hear the worried boy he missed. It was like a piece of normality for him. Something nobody asked, but he missed.

"No, Pablito. I'm fine. I ate." he smiles. "Just drive safe, please."

Pablo hangs up, trying not to press the gas and get there in no time. He has to drive safe and carefully as he promised your dad.

"Hey." He knocks on the door. "How is she?"

"She's fine." Your father says. "Come here, I missed you, kid."

Pablo hugs your father with a smile on his face. He missed his jokes, his fatherly advice, he missed going home and talking about football with someone. He missed feeling like having a father near him when his wasn't. He missed your family, he missed you.

They talk for a little, updating each other with their lives. Pablo felt a little piece of normality, it felt nice. It was like a few months ago. When he had you, when he had your family as his.

"I'll run real quick home, I need to get a quick shower and I'll be back." He says, patting Pablo's back. "My wife will be here before me."

He nods, telling him not to worry and to take his time. He was staying till they come back. He was staying until you told him not to. He needed you to see that he was there like you asked.

You were waking up, the anesthesia not as present as before. You can even feel your wound, not a very nice feeling.

You turn to see which parent was there with you. To your surprise, you see those brown locks you have memorized by heart. Pablo was doing something on his phone, not paying attention at you.

You want to call his attention, but you don't. You enjoy a few more minutes of his company. A few more breaths with his now more noticeable cologne.

You turn your face to him. His eyes found yours. "Hey, princesa."

"Hey." You whisper. "What are you doing here?"

"Your dad called me. He told me you had surgery."

"Oh, okay."

"Do you want me to leave?" he asks, sad eyes. "I'll understand if you want that."

You don't want to fight with him. You made peace with his decision, feeling better about the whole thing.

"Stay." You smile at him. "You didn't miss training, right?"

He shakes his head no, smiling. "How are you feeling?"

"It hurts." You joke.

He laughs, shaking his head. "Bet it does." he keeps combing your hair. "I got so scared when your dad told me you were here. Even if it was just a simple thing."

"I'm okay, I'll live, that's what they say."

Pablo kisses your forehead, he can't think of a lifetime where you are not there for him. Even when you two are apart.

"I'm sorry I've been so distant." he says, hands caressing your face. "I miss you, you are one of the few people I care about in this life. I'm sorry I fucked up with what I said."

"Te quiero, mi princesa." he says, smiling at you. "Do you want to eat something or drink? I can ask the nurse to bring you your food."

"I'm okay, don't worry." You grab his hand. "But a little bit of water sounds amazing."

He calls the nurse, they checked you and changed the pad from your wound. He was looking at you the whole time. The was happy he was there with you, like the old times.

After that day, Pablo went every day after practice. He was taking care of you and helping you.

You were in the hospital for ten days after surgery, you since your appendix bursted, they needed to make sure you were okay.

"I'll be okay, don't worry. Go to work and bring me one lollipop." You say on the phone.

Your parents were busy with work, or so they say. They planned this so you and Pablo could talk when you get home.

You told them you wanted to talk with him. Stablish some things in order for your friendship to work again.

"Si, Pablo is here. We are leaving now, bye." You laugh, hanging up the phone at turning to where he is. "Dad says hi, and thank you for doing this."

Pablo was happy you accepted him back into your life. You had your conditions, yet to tell them to him.

The drive home was calm, you relax and smell the cologne he uses. He drove to Dunkin donuts, getting you something light as the doctor allowed you to have one drink. Nothing with milk or yogurt.

"Okay, careful with that step." he says, holding your waist as you walk upstairs to your room.

You sit on your bed, feeling happy that you are home and not at the hospital anymore. You feel more relaxed.

You see Pablo bring your things, you have to talk with him. You have to tell him your boundaries.

"Can you sit down with me. We need to talk."

He feels nervous. "Oh, okay." he sits on the edge. Looking at you in the eyes. "Tell me."

You sigh. "I know I said it was okay for you to stay, and I'm really thankful for your help these days." You ramble to him. "But I want us to change how we talk to each other. I don't mind some nicknames, but the hugs, the kisses and the way you threat me it's not going to work. Please, let's not do it."

He understands what you mean. He doesn't want to lose you, so he would work with your terms and conditions.

"Si, I'm fine with that." he smiles.

Pablo had to adapt to not calling you all the nicknames on the books. He just named you preciosa or your name.

He spent his afternoons with you. After training he would visit you with flowers, drinks.

To you it was like going back in time but with changes. You had someone to help you with your writing, someone who talks with you about everything and nothing.

You were able to start to go back to your life. You love working on coffee shops. It was more relaxing than working at the library or at home. The smell of coffee is amazing.

You work at the same coffee three times a week. Always finding some people you know and making conversation with them.

You were working while drinking matcha, you sent a snip of your work to Pablo. He was home, waiting for a call from the social media team.

"Y/n?" You hear. You turn to find Paula, she was smiling at you. "How are you? I heard you were at the hospital. Are you okay?"

You smile. You don't dislike Paula, but she's not your cup of tea. "Hola, I'm fine, just an appendicitis."

"Cool, nice to hear you are fine." she smiles. "Can I sit? We can chat."

Before you can say no, she takes a seat at the table. You close your laptop, not really feeling like talking.

She was telling you about her life. You don't really pay attention, you were lost in your own mind, just smiling and nodding.

"And I felt bad at first, I'm not going to lie." she sighs, drinking a little of her coffee. "But I'm not going to lie, I don't blame Pablo for having feeling for you. You are so beautiful, and you guys are perfect for each other."

You then pay attention. Looking at her, looking at her eyes, was she lying?

"I'm sorry, Pablo what?" You laugh, not understanding her.

"I mean, that's what all his friend say. I think he even told them that the last time he saw them." She say, frowning.

You feel nauseous, why would all his friends think that? Did he really told them that? Why now? Why after what he did to you?

"Paula, it's nice to see you." You smile, picking your things up. "But my mom is waiting for me, and I just realized that I'm late."

You wave her goodbye. Walking outside the coffee shop and rushing home. You need to talk to your mom.

"Mom!" You shout. "MAMÁ!"

"Uno!" You yell, smiling and doing a happy dance. "I won."

"You haven't, sit down." Pablo laughs.

You two finish playing your uno game and finishing the food you ordered. "I won so I pick the movie."

You grab the remote, searching for > How to lose a guy in 10 days < that was your favorite romcom.

Pablo seats next to you. Bringing the just made popcorn. You pull him by his shoulders, making him lay down on your chest while combing his hair.

You missed doing this, and even when you asked him not to do it. You wanted to do it just like the old times.

You loved the movie, you love Matthew, you love Kate, you love the dog. You loved the part of the dress.

"If I ever get married, I want that yellow dress for my party." You say, daydreaming with wearing that day. "But my husband better look at me like Matthew looks at Kate."

Pablo hears you talking, daydreaming of you. You would look so amazing on that dress. "I can get you that dress. Let me ask my manager to ask D&G for one."

You laugh. "That would be too much to ask." You mess up his hair. "I'll wait for my future husband to get it for me."

Pablo can't help but think about you on a wedding dress, how fucking amazing you would look with that yellow dress while dancing with him.

With him.

"Do you want kids?" He asks.

You think for a little bit. "Maybe two." You smile, kissing his head. "what about you?"

"Maybe two." He says, repeating your words.

"Our kids would be friends!" You say, happily. "Best friends, like mommy and daddy."

> They would be siblings < He thinks.

The movie finishes, you pick your the empty bowls and cups. Pablo observes your movements, still daydreaming about you.

He helps you clean, washing the dishes while you save the food that was left. You finish ordering the things in the refrigerator.

"I have to go home." You say, checking your phone. "Mom is moody and I don't want to deal with that."

He needs to do it.

Do it, Pablo!

"Can I talk to you?" he clears his throat. "It's really important."

You look at him. "Are you okay?" You ask, worried about his nervous state.

He takes a deep breath. "I need to tell you something. Let's get out off the kitchen."

You two walk to the living room, Pablo was taking deep breaths, eyes not able to find your from how nervous he was.

"Pablo, you are making me nervous." You say, grabbing his hands. "Are you okay? You know you can tell me anything." You encourage him.

He sighs, squishing your hands. "I know you allowed me to be back into your life, and you and I are now back with your conditions."

You frown, not understanding his rambling. "Are you not okay with our agreement?" You say, sad tone. "Wh-"

"No, it's not that, preciosa." he replies quickly. "I just, I need to confess something to you."

Your body tense, you think the worst. You think he would tell you that he doesn't want to keep with the friendship because he's not comfortable with the things you established.

"You can tell me anything." You smile.

"After the party." he began. You make a face because of the mention of the party. "I know I was really rude when I told you I liked Paula. The reality is that I don't think I ever liked Paula. I think she was just my confort answer in case the thoughts in my head and in my heart were wrong."

"Your heart? What?" You let go of his hands. You already know where this is going. "What are you talking about?"

"Y/n, I like you. I always felt that way. I was a stupid little kid who fell in love with his best friend. But then you had your boyfriends and I knew you didn't felt the same." he confess. "and I accept that, becuause-"

"You like me?" You say, feeling breathless.

"I love you." he whines.

"Then why did you rejected me when I told you I liked you." You question him.

"I was afraid." he shouts. "I was so afraid that we would fuck things up, and I didn't wanted to lose you." he tries to get close to you, but you back off. "I don't want to lose you."

You don't know how to organize your feelings, you feel everything at once. Betrayal, happiness, sadness. But this is the moment.

"Pablo." You say, eyes finding his shiny ones.

He smiles, he knows this is the time he was waiting for since he first felt those feelings at 10 years old.

"You already lost me."

✨✨✨

🏷️: @htpssgavi @rikfkf @gadriezmannsgirl @coco657 @cinderellawithashoe @pabl0andm3 @vscabarca @alexis1taylorr @anythingforourjoonie @nightmoon22

[gilverrwrites]

at this point we should give dick a sionis!reader and call it a day 💀 all the batboys have one now except for him (but I have no idea what his plot would look like compared to the other three)

Yeah, Jason and Tim dating with his kids and now Bruce sleeping with his ex-wife, Roman’s hatred of them is becoming more and more justified. . Can I also just add that Roman would be the most miserable girl dad. Imagining him with his 3 bastard girls and ex wife who he's still hung up on but can't win back fills me with joy and its becoming a full on AU in my head.

Anyway, okay, so hear me out with my pitch; Jason/The Rebellious child, Tim/The Favourite child, Dick/The forgotten child

Specifically, one who has tried so hard all their life to not be. Even more specifically, a dancer, a singer, maybe a triple threat. It’s not that you need the attention, you’re good at what you do, you get the parts, you have a small fanbase, you’ve won some minor awards. But just once you’d like to look out into the crowd and see your father or your siblings out there cheering for you.

You try so hard to be supportive of the rest of your family, always there for everybody. You listen to your rebellious sibling and your father bitch about each other constantly, you help them mend their bridges. Rebel is notoriously flaky, but you always step up and cover for them.

You help the favourite study. You were the only one who knew when they started seeing Tim and you helped keep it a secret.

You attend all your fathers parole hearings, all his club launches. You wear the stupid clothes and play the happy, smiling child whenever he wants to show his kids off at events.

But no matter how much you do for everyone, they never return the favour. As soon as you bring up an audition you need help with or a new show you’re in, everybody dips. Nobody takes you up on the free tickets you can get them. When you were training, Roman footed the bills and told all his buddies about his kid the dancer/singer/whatever, but not once did he show up to a single one of your recitals.

But one day, at one of his stupid galas, Dick Grayson catches you dancing by yourself on the patio outside and is instantly smitten.

“Where’s your dance partner?”

“Oh, haha. Can’t you see him? He’s right here.” You jokingly gesture to the air.

“Ah of course, hello sir. Mind if I cut in? Not at all, please be my guest.” He puts on a silly voice as he answers himself before offering a hand to you. “May I?”

And you’re sceptical at first, but you take his hand, and you let him whisk you off. You dance around in circles all evening, laughing and joking, and getting to know each other. You have the night of your life, but dating Dick Grayson seems like a bad idea, it’s not that you don’t want it, it’s just that your dad would so not approve. So, you resolve to move on, but will always remember that magical night.

Until a few weeks later, you step on stage and spot him front and centre in the audience looking elated. And although it's downright euphoric for you to see him there, you're not prepared to face him. Alas, he comes to your dressing room straight after the show anyway. Reaching you before you can sneak out, and confronting you about never calling him back.

You explain your hesitations and that golden child part of his brain understands, his heart aches for you. But he so selfishly wants to see more of you, so he gently mentions how your dad doesn’t seem to care what you do... and hey, maybe he’s out of line here and if you want to tell him to take a hike he will but all he wants is a chance to be a part of your life, can’t you spare him one date? Please?

And damn is he hard to say no too. So, you concede. And one date becomes two, then three, and so on…

It doesn’t take long for you to fall hard and fast for him. C’mon who wouldn’t?

He’s handsome, and charming, funny, smart, and superb dancer to boot.

But what really does it for you is how badly he really does wants to be a part of your life. Dick Grayson wants to dance with you anywhere and everywhere; At galas, in the rain on the way home from a date, in your kitchen at 3AM.

Dick Grayson could listen to you talk about anything and everything all day long. Doesn’t have to be performance related, but he likes it best when it is. He especially loves reminiscing about his circus days with you.

And though his job may get in the way sometimes, Dick Grayson wants to be front row at every single one of your shows. He wants to clap the loudest, and bring you flowers, and tell all of his friends, THAT’S MY BOO up there! From the moment he met you, Dick Grayson could never, ever forget you.

How we feeling about this concept?

[sakashq]

Miedica. 𐙚 lamine yamal x black!reader

🤍 summary. Lamine is taking you on your first date together and he teases you for how awkward you are.

🤍 warnings. just fluff and banter i fear! also y/n usage 😒😒

🤍 wc. 600+

🤍 yap! i love lamine yamal nasraoui ebana with my heart. my starboy, golden boy, and my favorite boy. i fear no one loves him like i love him no beyoncé/yeah yeah yeahs. extra special dedication to myself because lamine is the loml!!

🤍 my girls <3. @ar4ujos @halfwayhearted @hrts4havertz @iovepoem @planetpedri !!

Now playing … While We’re Young by Jhene Aiko.

Baby while we’re young, I think we should do something crazy. Like say, “fuck everyone” and just run away from the daily routine. Yeah you know what I mean.

You were terrified. This was your first date with Lamine and your first date, well… ever. You had never been asked on one by a guy in a romantic way, not that it bothered you. It was just nerve-wracking that the guy you ended up liking the most would be the one. You didn’t know what to do, how to dress, or what to expect.

This was all new to you—and unfortunately, Lamine wasn’t going to let you live it down.

You arrived at the agreed place (the local fair), looking anxiously around for him. Maybe it would have been smarter to go together, but you weren’t ready for an awkward car ride quite yet.

“Y/n!” You heard a familiar voice call out to you. That same voice that melted cooly into your ears whenever you heard it, whether it was in person or his interviews.

You turned around, face to face with Lamine. “Hi Lamine.” You smiled, hoping your fear wasn’t displayed on your face for him to see.

“You look… amazing,” he returned the smile. “Is that the bracelet I got you?” He lifted your arm so he could see it more clearly. One thing about Lamine was that he had no sense of boundaries when it came to his friends. He was just a touchy person, growing up with the trait. You loved it about him.

“Yeah, it is,” you responded, feeling your face heat up with embarrassment. You hadn’t expected him to notice, certainly not this fast. Pulling your arm back, you asked, “Ready to go inside?”

Lamine tried to cover up his frown, masking it with his same award-winning smile. “Yeah.” He grabbed your hand, leading you in.

You passed a few rides and games before your eyes landed on the cutest plush tiger. “Oh my gosh, I need that tiger.”

“Which one?” He asked, standing next to you as you both looked at the vendor. You pointed to it and he nodded firmly. “Watch me work.” He held your hand, waving you through the sea of people. It sent a jolt through your body, his constant touchyness bringing you butterflies.

“Lamine, you’re insane,” you giggled as he handed the vendor his tickets.

“Oh, I’m insane for wanting to make you happy, okay,” he sarcastically responded, a sly smirk on his face. “I’m gonna win this tiger for you, miedica.”

“Disculpe? Miedica who?” You acted fake-offended, gasping and putting your hand on your chest.

He roller his eyes jokingly saying, “Forgot Héctor was teaching you Spanish. I need to tell him to stop.”

You giggled in response, watching him as he attempted to win your tiger. He did just that, handing the plush to you once won.

“Thank you, Lamine,” you smiled, holding the tiger close to you.

“Of course, miedica.”

Telling everybody your mine, and I like it. And I really hope you don’t mind, I can’t fight it. No, you know I cannot hide it ‘cause I’m so excited that I finally decided on you.

As the date went on, you realized maybe this wasn’t so bad. Until you got to the ferris wheel.

It was going so well, but he just had to recommend the most intimate ride of them all. Okay, fine. You were going to be super calm and chill about this.

Except your heart felt like it was pounding out of your chest and you thought you were going to drown in sweat. Could you really do this? Was this going to be too much?

“Are you okay?” He broke you out of your thoughts.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking,” you responded. Half-truth, half-lie.

He nodded, grabbing your hand again and guiding you to your spot. You two were way too close together on this ferris wheel. Your shoulders were touching and you kept ‘accidentally’ brushing hands.

Lamine looked over at you and said playfully, “Hey, miedica. Are you scared of me or something? You act like this is your first date.”

You didn’t respond, just giving him a blank look.

His eyes slightly widened before saying, “Wait, it is?” When your nod gave him conformation, he continued teasingly, “I’m honored to be your first.”

“You’re saying it like it’s a kiss,” you scoffed with an eyeroll.

“Were we not going to do that?” He asked. When he saw your fear he followed up with, “Just joking. But if you’re offering…”

“Lamine!” You playfully hit him on his arm as if you were reprimanding a toddler for their wrongdoing. “I don’t know, no one’s ever asked me on a one-on-one date before.”

“Strange. So that’s why you’ve been such a scaredy cat all night.”

You glared at him saying, “Scaredy cat?”

He put his hands up as if he was surrendering. “No, I just mean whenever I grabbed your hand you’d flinch. I was starting to think you didn’t like me.”

Your face softened, a smile growing. “The problem is I like you a lot. I don’t know how to show that.”

Lamine smiled, saying, “Well, we can start with this.” He grabbed your hand, your fingers lacing inbetween his.

[in-death-we-fall]

Brothers Beyond

Slipknot may never fully recover from the passing of Paul Gray, but their imminent return to the stage at UK’s Sonisphere is going to be an act of catharsis for fans and band alike. Shawn ‘Clown’ Crahan and Joey Jordison open up to Hammer exclusively.

Words: Dom Lawson Pics: Steve Brown

Metal Hammer 218 - June 2011 (drive link)

Editor’s note: The dark lord speaks…

16 Gigantic Balls.

That’s what Slipknot had to have to get back in the saddle after the inestimable loss of Paul Gray last year, and judging by our breathtakingly candid interview this month, their appearance at Sonisphere this summer is going to be one for the history books. Slipknot’s return is nothing short of heroic, and we hope you’ll love reading Dom Lawson’s piece as much as we did putting it together.

But then Hammer’s always been about getting under the skin of things to bring you a depth and breadth of metal coverage that you won’t find anywhere else, and this issue’s packed with the kind of chest-swelling bravado that makes real metal bands tick. From Biff Byford’s frankly inspiring quest to defy trends and stick to his guns, to Mastodon’s rise from the depths of obscurity to become one of the world’s foremost lords of the riff, to our first glimpse of Iron Maiden simply fucking killing it on a world-tour that’s more like a global victory lap, Hammer is all about the sorts of tales that make the musicians we love as inspiring as the music that they create. Oh, and metal in… Botswana? The metal empire is truly growing at a staggering pace – be the first to read and read about it.

And as we barrel ever-closer to this year’s positively thrilling Golden God awards, we hope you’ll take the time to add your votes to the hundreds of thousands we’ve already received. It’s also your chance to win tickets to what’s sure to be the most ridiculously metallic award show in history. I mean really, Devin and Twisted Sister on the same night? Whollee. Fucking. Shiiiit! Just head to www.metalhammer.co.uk/goldengods to cast your vote and take a part in heavy metal history.

Before we kick off these headbanging proceedings, let’s take a moment to spare a thought for the late, truly great Scott Columbus, erstwhile Manowar drummer and an inspiration to any metalhead who’s ever felt their pulse quicken to the sound of a mighty drum. Our thoughts are with his friends and family in this difficult time. Horns at half mast.

STAY METAL..

Brothers Beyond

Slipknot may never fully recover from the passing of Paul Gray, but their imminent return to the stage at UK’s Sonisphere is going to be an act of catharsis for fans and band alike. Shawn ‘Clown’ Crahan and Joey Jordison open up to Hammer exclusively.

Words: Dom Lawson Pics: Steve Brown

When the news broke last December, you could hear the cheers of elation and sighs of relief from the hot streets of Rio de Janeiro to the sun-blistered stone of the Parthenon. Despite having endured an horrific year that had seen them reduced from a seemingly invincible nine-man wrecking crew to a wounded but dignified band of brothers, following the tragic death of founder member and bassist Paul Gray back in May, Slipknot announced that (sic) were going to return, headlining the Sonisphere festival at Knebworth this July and playing a handful of other prestigious dates. The events of 2010 unquestionably pulled the rug from underneath this seemingly unyielding band’s feet and plunged them into a period of mourning and destabilising uncertainty; the endless and often witless speculation of pundits and fans on the internet only adding to the sense that the Iowans’ rudder had fallen off, leaving them lost and directionless. In the end, those who were predicting the end of the Slipknot story looked very foolish. The end of Slipknot? Don’t be fucking ridiculous.

Four months on from that announcement, drummer Joey Jordison and percussionist and visual king Shawn ‘Clown’ Crahan, the other two parts of the unholy trinity of Des Moines miscreants who put the band together in the first place, are in a far more buoyant and defiant mood than many may have predicted after watching the heartbreaking press conference that followed Paul’s death. Speaking to Hammer as the wheels of progress start to grind into action, both men have plenty to say about the past, present and future of their band and, despite having barely spoken to the press since the passing of their friend, both are happy to answer the questions that fans have been dying to ask during those months of sorrow. First and foremost, we have to ask what prompted them to stage their comeback in Europe rather than at home in the US.

“If we were gonna return, why would we not go to Europe first?” states Joey. “It was the right decision at the right time. Europe’s always been amazing to us, especially the UK. I still remember our first show there, on December 13, 1999; I still have dreams about it! It was one of the biggest landmarks of our career so why not go back now? Slipknot is not going to die. It’s a lifeforce, man. With all the feelings and emotions and the passion of one of the people who really helped to start our band pushing us forward, this is how we start again.”

You always seem to have had a strong relationship with the UK; ever since the self-titled album came out in 1999 and UK metal fans immediately embraced what you were doing, arguably more so than in any other territory. Is the show at Knebworth going to be the most important of all?

“The show at Knebworth is going to be heavy, man,” says Shawn. “We thought Download was fuckin’ heavy in 2009, but this’ll be something else. I don’t even know how to describe it, because the UK kids know us, man. I remember the first show at the Astoria in ‘99. I walked into the Astoria and there was a kid in an orange jumpsuit and a clown mask, and he’d paid £85 to have the mask made so he could be me. I couldn’t believe it. I thought I’d achieved everything when I got to the UK; the UK totally gets us. That show will be the heaviest show on the tour by far. There’ll be a lot of tears that day.”

“The feeling right now between all the bandmembers is the same feeling we had when we first came to the UK,” adds Joey. “This is a special event. It’s not like being on tour. We’re doing this out of our hearts and out of respect for our band and mostly out of respect for our fans. This isn’t contrived, some list of tour dates. This is speaking directly to the UK and to Europe. This is not bullshit. People will be pleasantly surprised by what we’re bringing.”

One of Slipknot’s strengths has always been that they’ve been adept at presenting a united front to the world. Even though it’s always been apparent that this is a band full of wildly differing personalities, the whole point of Slipknot has often seemed to be the expression of a single, focused purpose, uniting band and audience in a grand outpouring of righteous anger and joyous energy. As a result, the last year has been a little unsettling for those observing the band, not least because for the first time it has been made plain that not everyone in Slipknot has been reading from the same tight-lipped, thoughtful page. In particular, frontman Corey Taylor has been making frequent public pronouncements that have carried a faint air of pessimism and negativity.

“Part of me is ready [to carry on with the band] and there’s a part of me that’s not,” he stated back in March. “I have a lot of trepidation about it. I don’t know how to feel. I know a lot of the guys in the band are trying not to show that side, and I can’t.”

In light of the fact that Slipknot had already announced their intention to return, thus strongly implying that the band could well continue beyond these few shows and make another record too, Corey’s comments, seem, at best, a little unhelpful. Do his publicly expressed doubts about the future of the band run deeper or is this simply a case of one man’s emotions leading him away from the general consensus?

“Well, I would get into a lot of trouble if I try to speak for people, so it’s important that you print it like I say it, and I’m saying that I’m not speaking for anybody except myself,” states Shawn, firmly but diplomatically. “But in my opinion the majority of people in the band need Slipknot, want Slipknot, have no doubt that Slipknot will continue. There may be people in the band who may have a harder time feeling what they’re experiencing and only they can get over that and only they can make themselves feel that way. Hopefully their feelings will work out, and that’s exactly what we’re doing, getting together to celebrate Paul’s life, his love for music, his love for Slipknot, his love for his fans.”

The last few years have been upsetting for rock fans, with numerous major figures passing away, leaving huge gaps that can never be filled. The loss of Paul resonated as loudly and powerfully as any, partly because he was such a talented and revered figure within the metal world, but also because Slipknot have always seemed to be impervious to the hazards that cause most bands to noisily disintegrate or feebly fizzle out, whether they be as trivial as ‘musical differences’ or as monumental as mortality itself. And yet, despite having been temporarily stopped in their tracks, few would bet against Slipknot roaring back into action at full strength and with renewed vigour when they hit the road again this summer. As another band appearing at Sonisphere this July once sang, “You cannot kill what doesn’t die…”

“It’s always been that way,” agrees Joey. “Our first tour was Ozzfest in ‘99 and we fuckin’ blew every other band off the fuckin’ stage, every night. It was not even a competition. It’s not like we were trying to beat anyone; we were just being ourselves. We toured with Coal Chamber and some other bands that year too, and I recall my friend Dez Fafara telling me that one guy from one of the other bands had looked at him when we were playing and said, ‘Can you see what we got ourselves into here?’ They tried to kick us off the tour, every band did. One show in Oklahoma City we couldn’t fit anything on the stage and they kicked us off the show and we still outsold every other band’s merch! That’s the strength of what we are when we’re together as a band. That’s not ego talking, it’s the truth. It is what it is, and I’m so happy and so fulfilled with everything we’ve done and everything that we’re gonna do.”

“A lot of people won’t know that we were done with All Hope Is Gone, and we were going to take a break like we do after every record,” says Shawn. “That’s why people love our band; we’re not trying to get off our label and make a bunch of shitty records and try to shove ‘em down fans’ throats. We take time off to get physically and spiritually sound, then we get bored and take what we’ve learned from where we’ve been and we apply it to right now and we get busy with art and music, then we come and kick the living shit out of you. That’s what we do.”

Just as the trials of life can never kill a band with Slipknot’s fighting spirit, neither can you replace the irreplaceable; a fact that made the band’s decision to fight another day such a painful one. There from the beginning, Paul made such an invaluable contribution to every aspect of Slipknot’s music, methodology and rise to glory that the idea of someone else stepping into his jumpsuit and mask was simply unthinkable. But there are always ways a means to circumnavigate even the toughest problems, and so the news that Slipknot have recruited Donnie Steele, a member of a very early lineup of the band and a close friend and musical collaborator of Paul’s, to perform bass duties on these upcoming dates has removed a great deal of disquiet from conversations about the future.

“I’m glad you’re speaking with me today,” notes Joey. “You have called me on the first day that I play with my new bass player. I’m starting with Donnie tonight. I start working with him first and we have over 35 songs that we have to rehearse tonight! Ha ha ha! When we headline in the UK it’s gonna be a longer set, so we have to go over a bunch of stuff.”

What made you go with Donnie?

“It was an easy decision,” he says. “I don’t want to talk about my brother’s death, but once it happened, our phones all lit up with all these guys from other bands. I took it at a disrespect level. I was like, ‘No, no, no!’ and it just came to me one night. I woke up from a dream about the early Slipknot days, before it was even known as Slipknot. Donnie was our first guitar player. We only had one guitar player but we had three drummers. You couldn’t even hear the guitar before we hired Josh [Brainard, Slipknot guitarist from 1995-1999]. So I called Shawn and I said, ‘This is the only thing that makes sense…’ Slipknot is a family. It’s a brotherhood. When we started together, Donnie was there. The last time I saw Paul was when I was with Rob Zombie in Iowa; Donnie was there and he and Paul were writing a new record for [pre-Slipknot metal project] Body Pit. I said to Shawn, ‘He’s part of our family!’”

“The gentleman who’s filling in for Paul was very, very good friends with Paul,” Shawn adds. “They come from a school of death metal and black metal, both very technical players. Recently Paul had hooked up with him and they were finally going to do their side-project. Paul was a guitar player and he attacked the bass like he did the guitar, and that’s exactly what Donnie’s gonna do. So he’s bringing more integrity than any freakin’ person who ever thought they had a chance of playing bass in something as serious as Slipknot. I laughed in the face of anybody who thought they had a chance!”

There’s been a lot of speculation about whether Donnie will be performing alongside the rest of the band onstage or whether he will be behind the drum riser out of sight. Can you confirm or deny any of this?

“We still have to figure out what we wanna do,” says Joey. “Will he be behind me? Right now, yes. In the future, I don’t know. Right now, he’s behind me or right next to me and he’ll be watching my every move and I’ll be watching him but it’s not going to take away from my performance, because by the time we hit the stage it’s going to be easy.”

“I can’t predict the future, but I know right now there’s no new mask, no new coveralls, no new number,” says Shawn. “There’s eight guys on stage and the first guitar player we ever had filling in for Paul, because there’s always gonna be nine.”

Clearly there can be no upside to the loss of such a loved and respected figure, but the last year has at least enabled the music world to finally acknowledge Paul as the influential and inspirational creative dynamo buzzing tirelessly away at the heart of Slipknot. It has always been left primarily to Joey, Shawn and Corey to communicate with the press and although Paul was not averse to doing interviews, his relative anonymity within such a populous band meant that he was able to exert his vast influence on Slipknot’s music and ethos away from the media spotlight. Now, of course, it’s apparent that his death has left a chasm inside this band’s furious heart and that these forthcoming live performances present a huge emotional challenge to those who mourn him, both on the stage and in front of it. Joey and Shawn are clearly still coming to terms with the loss of their friend, both close to tears when his name inevitably comes up in our conversations. For Shawn in particular, Slipknot’s return to the stage is all about paying respects and doing what needs to be done.

“Slipknot is more dangerous now than ever and I have the fuel known as Paul Dedrick Gray in my blood,” he says. “I’ve been here from the beginning, when Paul recognized my ability as an artist and said, ‘Just do it, man! Let your thoughts out and don’t let anyone stop you from what you feel and what you think!’ So now I’ve got his blood boiling in my veins. I’m not just playing for Clown; I’m playing for him, for his wife and daughter, his legacy, his love for the band, his love for music. I’m not discrediting anybody. We wouldn’t be where we’re at without everybody. We wouldn’t be here without Corey, Sid, Jim, Craig, Mick, Chris, all of us. But in the beginning, there was this idea that was created by Paul and I. He wrote the kind of music with Joey that just made me want to put my face through glass. I helped start one of the biggest metal bands in the world and I’m not necessarily a metalhead. I’m an alternative dude or an indie dude, whatever the fuck that means. I was on my way to being like Andy Warhol or something! I gave it all up to be in this band called Slipknot and I love it and I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Another major issue is whether or not Slipknot will ever make another studio album. Paul wrote a lot of the band’s music and was an integral part of the creative process on all four of their albums to date, but Slipknot have no shortage of creative brains to tap for fresh ideas. Corey added a dash of fuel to the fires of confusion when he stated recently that “there’s such a huge piece missing now, a piece that the fans can’t even understand. I mean, Paul always was that unconscious, almost lynchpin that held everything together. And he had such a great mind for the music that we created that without him, I don’t see it happening very soon, let’s put it that way.”

Given that it’s clear that at least one member of the band has doubts about the future, can fans truly be secure in the knowledge that their heroes will continue beyond these festival appearances and as far as a new album in the future?

“That’s the most important question you’ve asked so far,” says Joey. “We made this decision [to play shows this summer] out of respect for the music that we made and out of respect for our friend but mainly for our fans. Why would we not continue? It’s stupid to even think it. There are a lot of naysayers and all that shit. In the Slipknot world it’s blasphemy to say we might not continue.”

“Yes, I always knew we’d be back together,” insists Shawn. “Yes, I always thought we’d make another record. When? I don’t know. Is it being talked about? No, it is now. When would it ever be? I have no idea because I’m not a fortune teller, but in my heart of heart of hearts, and with Paul on my shoulder, kicking me in my face day after day, I absolutely believe there’ll be another record. How could there not be?”

Their unerring ability to sing from a single song sheet has been one of the biggest factors in Slipknot’s enduring appeal. From humble beginnings in Des Moines to their status as one of the biggest metal bands on the planet, these men prize collective focus above virtually anything else, and so it has been strange to see signs of hesitancy emerge in recent times. It’d be more than a little tacky to speculate whether Corey’s seemingly disruptive remarks about the future, and his bandmates’ self-evident but skilfully stifled testiness, are merely evidence that the grieving process affects different people in different ways, but it is also undeniably true that the internet age has made it more or less impossible for any high-profile rock band to conduct their affairs in private. The much-debated possibility that Corey is to be announced as Velvet Revolver’s new singer is a great example of this: what would normally be dismissed as idle gossip takes on a level of credibility far beyond what the known facts would seem to deserve. Social networking is the new grapevine, it seems, and Joey is not impressed.

“The internet can fuck off!” he barks. “I have an official MySpace and Facebook, but all that bullshit? I don’t use it. If you want to talk to me as a person, the internet is the worst thing possible. I do get it. Maybe it makes sense if you don’t have a life of your own. But that’s why i don’t use it. I have lovely people around me all the time and I’m blessed with everything I’ve been able to accomplish. I only have MySpace and Facebook to block people from imitating me. I don’t even have a Twitter account. But you know what? If I need to find where a good Mexican restaurant is, I can log on and find it. So the internet does have its uses, I guess! Ha ha!”

Bullshit and hyperbole will continue to make the world go round, but for now at least, all that remains is to get very, very excited indeed about seeing Slipknot again at Knebworth this summer. Anyone who witnessed the band tearing Download a collection of new arseholes in 2009 will be able to confirm that there are few bands more capable of commanding a festival headlining slot, and it goes without saying that the UK will welcome them back with open arms and pounding hearts, but our mounting excitement at the thought of Slipknot headlining a major UK festival again is undeniably tempered by a faint air of nervousness about the backdrop of grief and uncertainty that has coloured the band’s canvas over the last 12 months. One way or another, this is going to be extremely emotional, isn’t it?

“I don’t think any fan ever thought they were never gonna see Paul again,” says Shawn. “So it’s our duty to being it all together; when I walk on stage in tears, there’ll be 10,000 other people in tears with me and we’re going to celebrate in the salvation of music and what brings us together.”

“These gigs are not a job,” avows Joey. “This is more of a cleansing. All of us are going to have the most incredible shows of our career. That’s it. I’m not saying this to promote this. But this is going to be worth the wait. Of course there are gonna be teary eyes and maybe for some of us, behind the masks, but are they gonna be sad tears? No, they’ll be happy. We’re going to be there and we’re going to watch the audience explode and what better celebration could you ask for? That’s all it needs to be. Let’s just fucking rock!”

Slipknot play Sonisphere, July 8-10, 2011

“We’re gonna die for rock ‘n roll!”

Slipknot’s drummer was in Tokyo with his other band, Murderdolls, when the recent earthquake hit Japan, wreaking devastation and leading to many thousands of deaths. Here he recounts his experience for the first time…

“I was doing an interview and a photoshoot in this really rickety building when the quake started,” he recalls. “We’d already felt a smaller quake the day before, but when this one really hit it was throwing me against the walls. My tour manager Roger grabbed me saying, ‘Fuck this! We don’t need this…’ and he threw me over his shoulder and got me out of there! Everyone was trying to get out and we were the last band to leave Japan. We were like, ‘Fuck it!’ We were gonna stay and if we die, we’re gonna die for rock ‘n’ roll! That’s the Murderdolls’ mentality. We couldn’t get back to our hotel rooms because the elevators were completely fucked, so we went and stayed in the bar and got shitfaced. In the end we got evacuated. It was like, ‘If you want to make it back to the US, you need to go now otherwise you’re gonna be stuck here!’ So we finished our pints and got to the airport and, luckily, got on the airplane. Right after that is when the nuclear reactor was heating up. It was a big, intense experience. It was one for the books, I tell you…”

Shawn Crahan tells Hammer about his new band…

Black Dots Of Death

Describe your new band… “It’s a rebirth of Clown, a second coming, and it’s dangerous. It’s the next level. It’s a mix of many genres. I’m done making soft music and now I’m angry again and everything’s surrounded by death and the idea of ‘What the fuck are you doing?’ There’s a moral behind everything; it’s deep.”

What appeals to you about playing the drums? “I’ve played drums since I was eight years old, man. When you see me play drums, that’s the most personal me you’ll ever see. I don’t wear a mask. No one plays as hard as me, man.”

Do you have plans to take Black Dots Of Death out on the road? “The record is out now. Everything you need to know, you can find at www.theblackdotsofdeath.com. This is art, man, and it’s fuckin’ dangerous. But my biggest priority in 2011 is to get together with Slipknot. There will be Black Dots shows, but my biggest priority is to celebrate Paul’s life.”

Will he or won’t he?

The rumour mill has been working overtime as speculation mounts about Corey Taylor apparently becoming the new singer in Velvet Revolver. Or not. Here’s what’s been said so far…

“We recorded a bunch of songs with Corey. I think he’s fucking great – he’s the best voice of a new generation and I’d be proud to do anything with him.” [Duff McKagan, March 2011]

“He’s a guy we’ve had our eye on, but the timing wasn’t right. Weiland was available. He was out of Stone Temple Pilots. It wasn’t like we went and said, ‘Hey, dude…’ He came to us, like, ‘Hey, I’m out of my band. I’ve got time. Let’s do this.’ And it’s a similar situation with this individual.” [Sorum to billboard.com, December 2010]

“[The new singer is] a little younger, a little stronger, a little heavier rock’n’roll than we are.” [Sorum to Noisecreep, December 2010]

“A couple of people have said one thing or another, but it’s been blown out of proportion. I’ve made no comment on that one.” [Slash, February 2011]

“It’s gonna be interesting going into the third record because we’re gonna have a whole different personality as a vocalist. Chances are it’s gonna be a lot heavier than anything Velvet Revolver has done so far.” [Sorum to artistdirect.com, January 2011]

“As soon as we got off the road from the last tour and parted ways with [singer] Scott [Weiland], we got together and wrote half a dozen really great, sort of heavy metal pieces of music. It’s a lot heavier than what Velvet Revolver has put out [in the past], so I’m dying to put out the quintessential Velvet Revolver record.” [Slash to MTV News, June 2010]

“To be continued! Ha ha ha!” [Corey Taylor to billboard.com after being asked directly about whether or not he is joining Velvet Revolver, January 2011]

[d-criss-news]

Renegades | Darren Criss & Helen J Shen Tackle Finding Love as a Robot

Welcome to Renegades, Gold House’s newsletter series spotlighting Asian Pacific leaders and creatives who are carving their own paths and defying stereotypes along the way. This week features Emmy and Golden Globe Award winner Darren Criss & Helen J Shen, co-stars of Broadway’s Maybe Happy Ending. Maybe Happy Ending is the offbeat and captivating story of two outcast robots near the end of their warranty who discover that even robots can be swept off their feet.

Helmed by visionary director and Tony Award winner Michael Arden, with lyrics by the internationally acclaimed duo Will Aronson and Hue Park, Maybe Happy Ending is a fresh, original musical about the small things that make any life worth living. Darren and Helen talk to us about their journeys through the world of theatre, what originally drew them to the role, and the nuances of playing robots in front of a live audience. Get tickets to Maybe Happy Ending on Broadway now!

What did you want to be when you were growing up and how does that compare to where you are now? Helen: I wanted to be a singer growing up, and now I get to sing for my job. I kind of feel like I won the lottery. Darren: I’m very fortunate that I have always known what I wanted to do. Because of that, I feel like I haven’t spent a day of my life that wasn’t working towards that. Most of my young life was very targeted to be working as a performing artist in some kind of professional space. So it wasn’t something that I fell into, it was a sight I set. And I would like to think that my younger self would be pleased! It’s exactly what we worked towards.

Your new Broadway show Maybe Happy Ending is an incredibly unique musical about two “helper” robots who fall in love in the not-so-distant future. How did you first come across the project and what pieces of this one-act musical attracted you most to the role? Helen: I was sent a request from my agents to do a self-tape of the Maybe Happy Ending material. Then after I sent it, I got a request to come in to do a chemistry read with Darren Criss. The day after the chemistry read, I found out I got the job. I was most drawn to the music initially. The lyrics were so specific and evocative, and the music beautifully supported the imagery. I was enamored and hungry to sink my teeth into the material. Darren: I’ll say the number one thing about this show, before really knowing anything about it, was Michael Arden. Michael Arden is a visionary force: I’ve been friends with him far longer than I’ve had professional relations with him because of our own personal lives. Getting the opportunity to work with him was something that I always kind of hoped would present itself as an opportunity. Jeffrey Richards is also a lead producer on this, who I did American Buffalo with and who I’m very fond of. Having those two men believe in a new project like this says something about the material itself, because both gentlemen could do anything they want. The fact that they were doing something like this, a producorial risk because it’s brand new, it’s a harder thing to put together. That actually makes my ears perk up because I go, “Wow, if these two guys want to do it then there must be something special going on.”

What was the most challenging part of playing the role of a robot that conveys human emotions in front of a live audience? Were there any new performance tips or tricks you and your co-star picked up or ideated along the way? Helen: Knowing how Claire (a model 5) functions, as opposed to her counterpart Oliver (a model 3), as well as how she interacts with her human owners, was a great starting point to understand the nuance of "robot acting", or lack thereof. What actually has become fun and challenging is maintaining some of the same line readings tonally, while still keeping the lines fresh and not going monotonous or predictable to a new audience's ear. Darren: One of the great ironies about the performance choice of this piece is that you can’t be a human being; there are a lot of really big emotions happening, but it's the one thing we can't really do. You can't emote to the level that a human being would, because that would be directly against the characterization of what we're experiencing. The only people in the room that are allowed to feel that catharsis is the audience, because the people on stage can't. So you have to reprogram your brain accordingly, everything is telegraphed on the surface, facial expressions, physicality, a lot of the things that are happening to these people, you can read on the outside, just like an animated movie.

Darren, over the course of your decorated career, you’ve performed across both the silver screen and the theater stage, having starred in television phenomena such as Glee and American Horror Story, as well as acclaimed stage productions such as How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying and Hedwig and the Angry Inch. As a performer, have you started to form a preference for one medium over the other? Are there other performance mediums you’re eager to try next? Darren: I think it always comes down to the story and the character. Working as an actor is such a ludicrous life choice already, that getting to work at all is always the preference. To have any job at all is such a blessing. The next job is certainly never guaranteed. So just working at all to tell stories, which is something I'm so passionate. I've been lucky enough to be able to hang out in a few of the different avenues that are available for that passion. But I think just by nature of it, being my first love and experience, theater is the sort of de facto, quote, unquote, preference. But it isn't that black and white!

Helen, with a long background in the arts, having studied the piano very seriously from quite a young age, you eventually pivoted to theatre by the time you got to college and went on to act Off-Broadway last spring in the ensemble cast of Michael R. Jackson musical Teeth. What was the primary driver of that career switch for you? Helen: The main pull I felt towards theater was collaboration. I loved playing piano and loved the feeling of painting a picture, telling a story with the music, but I craved doing those things with other people. Every time I got to closing night of a musical that would only play for one weekend as a kid, I felt some kind of magic. I've been chasing that high ever since. I was really inspired by Lea Salonga, specifically in the 10th anniversary concert of Les Mis that played on PBS Great Performances every so often. Her ease and grace as Eponine became a beacon of possibility for me.

When speaking about his Broadway show Yellow Face, actor and activist Daniel Dae Kim recently said “It’s not often that we see an Asian American play on Broadway told in such a deftly skillful way.” Maybe Happy Ending was not only co-written by South Korean playwright, Hue Park, but it also debuted in South Korea under the direction of Kim Dong-yeon. As an Asian American performer, do you feel the theater world in the U.S. is making progress in terms of showcasing diverse characters, stories, and themes? Helen: I feel that we are absolutely making huge strides in the theater world to showcase diverse characters and stories. I also feel that there is still a breadth of diversity to still discover. I'm excited about the fact that Maybe Happy Ending spotlights nuanced, flawed, painfully human characters that also happen to be Asian and have Asian features. That kind of visual and physical representation is everything to me. It is not lost on me that I stand on the shoulders of countless trailblazing, talented, unbelievable Asian artists. I hope I can provide beacons of possibility for others hoping to pursue art as well. If Maybe Happy Ending can add to an ever-expanding canon of Asian American theater, we have already won a million times over. Darren: Just the fact that this is a question being asked is, I think, indicative of a more common place, more understood awareness of the importance of representation in general, across the board, for all peoples and backgrounds and stories. It's something that I think we've taken a wonderful, newly invigorated consideration of in the past 10 years, and it has directly affected the stories we tell and the people who tell them, and it's exciting. We have folks from all over the Asian diaspora, involved in the show, and it's a really cool thing to be part of that. But it's not what makes the show specifically singular and interesting: it's a wonderful ingredient, and there's such marvelous representation, but what makes the story so exquisite and enduring is its universal human themes, just like anything else. I'm excited that there is even an example of a show that was created in South Korea that can come to Broadway, which is the highest commercial form of theater that can exist in the United States. That's exciting. I've never really heard of that before. And maybe this is the beginning of a future of many shows being kind of fed through a new pipeline of Korean arts and culture.

The performing arts can be a challenging world for aspiring artists to break into. What advice might you offer to those looking to get their start? Helen: Keep pursuing your most authentic self. That journey is lifelong, and actually harder than one might think. It's easy to look sideways and compare, or look at someone's career and just try to emulate it. The feeling of "making it" is so nebulous and complicated, but the times that I have felt my sense of purpose align with my actions are when I feel like I'm pursuing my most authentic truth. The world doesn't need another fill-in-the-blank-artist, the world needs YOU. Darren: My one thing that I could say that hopefully could apply to everybody is to just open your mind to as much art as possible along the way. Especially if you're a student, you get a student ID, presumably, that's your key card to getting discounts for as much art that you'll ever get in your life. You know, watching film, seeing plays, reading plays, going to concerts, going to the symphony, hearing about some weird of. You know, type of art you've never heard of before.

What are you most excited for audience-goers to see in the show? Helen: I'm most excited for audience-goers to experience a completely new story maybe for the first time in a very long time. It's rare that Broadway embraces a new story that is not based on a book, movie, or is a revival of some sort. As the theater community, we have to champion new, original ideas, and be cheerleaders for new perspectives. I just feel proud to have a part in bringing Will Aronson and Hue Park's poignant and powerful story to new audiences. Darren: Well, if you don’t know anything about Broadway, you're in luck, because you don't need to know anything about Broadway or theater to hopefully enjoy this show. I can safely say categorically that this is unlike anything I've ever seen, and I think a lot of people coming to see it will feel the same way, and that's really exciting, because they have nothing to compare it to. They're not encumbered by previous experiences, unless they know the show very well from Korea. So that would be the one caveat to that. Other than that, this is a very new thing, and that's exciting on Broadway.

Lightning Round

Morning Routine Darren: One routine: just caffeinating, man. Helen: Coffee, gratitude journal, maybe some pilates to get the body moving, and a high protein breakfast. I love an egg or two. Soft scrambled, please. Hidden Talent Darren: I can, like, name songs very quickly, Helen: I love to crochet. Comfort Movie Darren: A comfort movie is like those rainy days when you're not leaving the house and you have free time, and you just turn on the TV, and this happened to an entire generation of people, which is why it's such a huge hit. But you just turn the TV on and it's like the beginning of Shawshank Redemption, and you're just like, “Hell, yeah, that's my day. I'm gonna watch Andy Dufresne go through this little journey.” Helen: The Chronicles of Narnia 2: Prince Caspian Favorite Song from a Musical Helen: “Arlington Hill” from Passing Strange Darren: There's too many songs. There's not one singular thing that makes my robot wiring glitch out.

[carolmunson]

eddie munson x fem!reader | steve harrington x fem!reader

COMING SOON TO THEATERS. A FANFICTION ADAPTION OF ACADEMY AWARD WINNING FILM 'TITANIC' WRITTEN BY:

@loveshotzz @newlips and @carolmunson

ORIGINAL SCREEN PLAY + FILM WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY JAMES CAMERON. ALL OF THOSE ICONIC SCENES AND LINES ARE, OF COURSE, CREDITED TO WHOM CREDIT IS DUE: JAMES CAMERON

PREVIEW:

Wednesday, April 10th, 1912 Southampton, London

The blare of the fog horn is unmissable, rattling the conversations in a small pub off the White Star Dock. Even through the dusty windows she was clear as day, big as anything anyone had ever seen. Large black body met with a red base, multiple decks, and four large smoke stacks. The ship seemed to go on forever, her beauty unmatched to anyone who had seen it – a behemoth on the seas. A glory – a masterpiece.

The doors of the pub fluttered open and closed all morning as it edged closer and closer to noon. Pints poured by the dozens, the hundreds – half the country coming to the piers to see off the Ship of Dreams and its passengers. The bar was alight with chatter, mixing in with the roar of people from outside — hundreds of people halfway to boarding, waving and kissing goodbye. Beer glasses clinked and people cheered while they watched a long line of high end cars gleam in the spring sun as they rolled down the dock. Precious cargo full of Europe and America’s elite. 

Reporters and bellhops alike flock to them like flies, pub patrons ogling through the dusty windows while they exit their buggies.

Among the commotion, the endless chatter and screeching of pub seats, sat four men oblivious to the spectacle. They’re sitting around a small table with sweat on their brows as the April sun pours golden over them. Eyes burning over their cards as cigarette smoke wafts over their heads — the players lost in the fog during an intense round of poker.

The pot was mostly meager — a few pounds and swaths of change, a pocket watch, a penknife. But in the center was the crown jewel, a prize that would change the winner’s life forever. Two pieces of pressed parchment reading: 

The men leer over their hands, not a friendly face between them — the tickets were not the dealer’s, but two of the players who had bet the wrong guys. Guys who had been beyond the break and back again, meeting in Morocco, then Paris, and traveling together back to London — guys who had never lost a game of poker. 

Eddie places his bet, pulling a small silver ring off of his right ring finger and tossing it in the center. 

“Are you kidding?” Jeff asks from his left, “That’s everything we have.” 

Eddie grins at him, taking a drag of his cigarette. The sun dances in his big brown eyes like he knows something the rest of them don’t, “When you got nothin’, you got nothin’ to lose.” 

The two other players speak to each other heatedly in Swedish after one of them hits for a new card. The outburst makes it clear that things aren’t looking good for the Swedes — it makes Eddie’s heart leap. Maybe this is it, maybe he’s finally gonna get back to the states. “Sven?” he asks the man next to him. “Hit,” he replies, putting down a card and taking another. Eddie follows suit, furrowing his brow while his bangs meet his eyelashes. Sweat collects on the nape of his neck where his dark curls are twisted up in a graphite drawing pencil – a trick he picked up from women he met in France. He puffs the smoke from his mouth, eyes meeting the Swede across from him who looks like he couldn’t be having a worse day. 

“Alright,” he says, putting his cigarette down on the ashtray between then, “Moment of truth. Somebody’s life’s about to change.” 

He leans back in his chair and looks at his friend, sweat beading at the edge of his hairline and glinting off of his deep skin, “Jefferey?” 

Jeff throws his cards down with a roll of his eyes. “Nothing,” Eddie nods. 

“Nothing,” Jeff says curtly through a grit in his teeth. His heart pounds in his chest while he looks at the last of their money on the table – they can’t afford to lose. 

“Olaf?” Eddie asks, the Swede throws down his cards in a huff, “Nothin’.” 

“Sven?” 

Sven puts down his cards and Eddie frowns, “Oh…two pair.” 

His shoulders droop while he looks at his own cards, eyes lingering on the silver ring in the middle of the table, “I’m sorry, Jeff.” 

“What do you mean ‘sorry’?” You idiot! You bet all of our bloody money! You imbecile, you–”

“I’m sorry, you’re not going to be able to visit your cousins in Paris again for a long time,” Eddie says with a serious edge. Jeff quirks his brow, triggering Eddie’s winning smile behind plush pink lips. 

“‘Cause we’re goin’ to America!” he exclaims, slamming his cards down on the table, “FULL HOUSE, BOYS!” 

Jeff leaps from his chair in the back of the pub, reaching for the tickets on the on the table, “WE’RE GOIN’ TO BACK TO AMERICA!” 

“I’m goin’ home!” Ed exclaims while the boys hug tightly. The pub cheers for them, pints still flowing — men and women with red cheeks having no idea what they’re cheering for until a fight breaks out between the Swedes. 

Eddie laughs, hoisting his bag up over his shoulder and Jeff does the same — their white shirts dirtied with the stains of the day before.

“I can’t believe it,” Jeff says, teeth shining in a grin across his face, “Goin’ back to America!” 

“Titanic’s going back to America, boys,” the barkeep says, pointing at the clock, “In five minutes!” 

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Complementing each other ☯️

I'm rewatching random Sydcarmy scenes for a fic I'm writing and even though I had picked up on it since day 1 and kinda went over this concept here already, only now I can articulate it enough to use it in a fic from this more comprehensive perspective:

Syd is territorial, posesive. She doesn't wanna share. What she has, she wants to keep for herself and herself only. She holds her ground. And then tries to make it grow. She nurtures it. She failed at that with Sheridan Rd, but that's what she tried to do in her father's garage (no new territory, familiar one).

Carm is a conqueror, a challenger. He loves a challenge, conquering new territories (Europe, CA, NYC, not familiar territory, new one), opening new restaurants (on familiar territory but after having torn everything down "that wasn't a facelift anymore"), and expanding. He doesn't hold his ground, he goes and finds himself a new one. Builds it if he has to. And then waits for the other shoe to drop.

Yet both follow rules and thrive on discipline, that's their comfort zone, the common one. On that common ground, they discover each other and find they are what they need, and I'm not talking about a need that comes from not being enough and having the other one complete them, no, I'm talking about balancing each other out and thus growing. Improving each other. Being better together than apart. So they acknowledge that they make each other better. And hopefully, eventually, they will acknowledge more than that. But for now, they are there. The other thing they have in common is their creativity.

I believe that through creating together, which they are already doing, btw, they will find their way to each other in that only other way they haven't yet.

So it wouldn't be too crazy to believe that the dish they will create together, which I think will earn them a star and other awards, especially in Syd's case, because he already has his but there's an imbalance that needs to be balanced out, will do the trick. In other words: I believe that either while they are creating it in the kitchen or after they win the star for it, they will take it to the next level. It's symbolic enough to make sense that they get together that way, it's also kinda poetic...

Honestly, as long as it happens, IDC how it happens. But I have the feeling that once they create the perfect dish together, balancing the flavor profile perfectly, (he's the acid, she's the licorice), they will "taste" each other too, not just that dish.

And that dish will be their golden ticket in more ways than one.

[jiannguo]

Hello. Hope you don't mind me saying this but a couple of fans (particularly large 🐢 accounts in this app) have started to spread negativity on LOCH by bringing in anti accounts and linking to their essays. It may be a good idea to get in some positive reviews etc from across the pond.

Hello there. I'm not surprised to hear 😪, but has this person actually seen the film ? Did they post their review with ticket stubs or anything to prove that they actually have seen it ? Also, is this person actually reliable, i.e. have you seen this person promote XZ's works with positive word of mouth like his dramas or films, and not just random updates and CP stuff or Translations?

Just even answering the first question with a No means this person is really not a fan. We have seen many like these who pretty much are just WYB fans even though they'll say they love them equally, but when comes to things like matters like positive reinforcement, positive word of mouth or even award nominations, they'll always be negative about XZ's work over WYB's. It's not the first time this has happened.

I'm not saying just because they are 🐢, because if you go to X, there are many 🐢 who have had the opportunity to see LOCH and they loved it. Just check the tag #LegengofCondorHeroes, there was one 🐢 who went twice and is deep in discussion about the plot.

So ask yourself, if the person you are posting about are real fans, why will they bring negativity within just 3 days in film release? What is their motive and intention, especially when the movie is about to release internationally? Why push negative reinforcement, when we really need positive one to promote the film ??

And remember, they always have the option to rant "after" the viewing period is over. They chose not to, for a reason.

I've not yet written anything about reviews because the real critics reviews come out after the Golden Week is over. They take in consideration many things such as slots, availability, gross collection and audience attendance. This is added with word of mouth from audience, actual audience with tickets rather than ghosts who get paid 10 yuan for every negative review they write.

[detectivechen]

the writers vs. lucy chen

i wasn’t looking for her to get promoted at a random moment in the season, so that’s not the issue. she’ll get promoted eventually. she has to be. otherwise, these writers will never beat the allegations, and tbh, they’re running out of time.

it’s definitely a collective decision, too, bc the writers have changed hands multiple times since that girl, ep 513. not even my fave writer could save the five-player trade storyline from the trenches. such a shame bc this ep was vintage rookie: very cohesive and exciting!

what are these allegations?

it’s 100% misogynistic for them to falsely equate lucy’s influence with manipulation to create obstacles in her life. it was annoying for them to do it personally, but now it’s downright infuriating for them to do it professionally.

because if anyone deserves a stress-free path and a fast-track to a promotion on this show, it’s lucy chen. mid-wilshire’s shooting champ endured traumatic hazing to prove her chops for UC as a rookie. as a newly minted P2, she singlehandedly dismantled two drug cartels on her first deep cover op, after meticulous preparation.

yet, she has none of the commendations that would normally go along with accomplishments of that magnitude. they moved on way too quickly from that to make chenford ride together again and assert nolan’s position as the rookie. so even though lucy has nothing left to prove, she’s been stuck fighting for leadership positions to get more points in favor of a promotion.

why does this matter?

lucy chen is a unicorn. finding a highly capable, girl-next-door asian-american female lead with an equally strong moral compass like her, esp in her field, is very difficult.

it’s painful to watch the writers ruin what they’ve built by making something out of nothing, given the way they’ve upgraded the careers of their two white male officers in the last two seasons without issue. it’s sending the message that women of color really do have to work twice as hard to get the same accolades, even in a fictional world, and not in the social commentary way.

in s4, nolan’s promotion to P2 was so ugly. the team was concerned with finding the killer of lucy’s best friend, a black man, and her situationship’s former TO’s best friend, a latina woman. somehow, though, the white man who undermined the justice system egregiously in the name of self-righteousness got an on-cam pat on the back from his black watch commander for taking his punishment well. the audacity. even tim’s deserved promotion happened off-cam.

in s5, her peer, nolan, leaves her in the dust by getting awarded a golden ticket for being a white savior at the border. detective is seemingly open for him again, even after being told that his self-righteousness cost him that privilege, but he opts for TO. what a slap in the face for lucy, who always navigated policy and procedure well.

make it make sense.

to make matters worse, the writers have now proceeded to willfully interpret her goodwill to help her bf get a more prestigious lateral transfer as malicious to make everyone turn on her.

after everything you have been through, how often you have proven yourself, there is not a cop in here who would not have your back if you asked. –harper in 505

so suddenly, every accomplishment lucy’s ever had is thrown out the window bc she did a lil networking to get her superior sergeants referrals for placements more suited to their current values? this punishment of making her worried about getting her score tanked doesn’t fit the crime of her secret involvement in tim’s career at all.

regardless, she’ll take the detective's exam in two weeks their time (ep 521). let’s see what bs comes up to make the ‘grand plan’ of delaying her promotion for the 100th ep happen (ep 602). 🙃

[booksandabeer]

Quick thoughts on the Indie Spirit Awards to explain my yay! but also: huh? reaction:

Generally, a very chaotic set of nominations. very little overlap in the Big 3 categories (feature, director, screenplay)

I don't know what I'm more surprised by. That Sebastian made it in for TA instead of ADM or that he made it in and yet Jeremy Strong didn't? I 'd have thought that if (that's a really big IF because, you know, *gestures at everything* recent events) one of them was gonna make it in at all, my money would've been on Jeremy.

Similarly very surprised by the Ali Abbasi nomination.

Adam Pearson, fuck yeah!

I continue to be absolutely delighted for Aaaron Schimberg and the love for ADM. Also, props to them for nominating him in what I think is not only the most deserving but also the most promising category for this film: screenplay! Maybe now A24 will finally get off their asses after all and throw some might (and money!) behind ADM. Because--and I could be terribly wrong about this, we'll see as soon as next week when Critics' Choice, LA Film Critics and the sure to be messy AF Golden Globes nominations drop--it seems like the love for Queer just isn't there? I still don't know how Luca Guadagnino got them to pay $50 million for this. Controversial opinion maybe, but I simply don't think that Daniel Craig is actually a big enough star to make people want to go see him have gay sex and go on ayahuasca trips in the Ecuadorian jungle in a 1950s period piece. Like *I* certainly want to see that, but I don't buy tickets worth $50 million. Good for Luca, I guess, but what a headscratcher of a late acquisition when A24 already had The Brutalist, I Watched the TV Glow, A Different Man, AND Sing Sing (which is very good and Colman Domingo is wonderful in it) lined up for this year.

I really want to see A Real Pain, but it's not out here until January. Ugh.

[silvercatto]

15 reasons why you should vote WEBFISHING to win the 2024 Steam awards

The Steam Awards 2024 voting has now begun. And I need your help to vote WEBFISHING to win its award in the "Sit Back and Relax" category. Here are 15 reasons you should vote for WEBFISHING to win the 2024 Steam Awards:

1. You can fish in a toilet.

2. You can get dr0nk with the boys.

3. You can jump and platform across the map. There are clip compilations for stuff like this.

4. You can fish out some big-ass fishes, including whales and leeds(I don't know how to spell the whole thing).

5. You can enter the void.

6. You can gamble your life savings away via scratch-off tickets.

7. You can cosplay as whatever you want. (in my case, I dressed up as the Roblox noob, I'm probably not the first one to do so lol)

8. If you're feeling competitive, you can see who wins the biggest/smallest fish out there!

9. You can draw on the sidewalk, and I've seen some VERY impressive things drawn using this thing on the Subreddit as well as in-game, too.

10. You can buy some silly titles (Goober, Gay, ":3", the super rare titles for catching golden fish, etc.).

11. You can punch people across the map using blue boxing gloves.

12. It has a Pokemon T-shirt of a smoking Pikachu (though legally destinct)

13. It also has a hat that says "I <3 PEEING" on it.

14. You can spin on the floor after you dive if you don't press space to jump again.

15. If you're bored of playing the game, you can always download mods via GDWeave! May take some time to get used to, but it's still worth it!

If all that isn't enough to convince you, I don't know what is. Get out there and vote! WEBFISHING MUST WIN!!!

[wenella]

Zhu Yilong: Be Water 石子的回响

EN translation of Zhu Yilong's WSJ Men's Style Sept 2023 Issue Feature Interview

Translated by wenella

It's Bustling Again

“Unbelievable.” Zhu Yilong said slowly, on the other end of the phone.

The box office of Lost in the Stars has far exceeded everyone's expectations. On the eve of the movie’s release, the predicted box office was merely RMB 1 billion. Producer Chen Sicheng was relatively optimistic and believed that the film would be on par with its predecessors Sheep without a Shepherd 1 & 2, which grossed RMB1.3 billion and 1.1 billion respectively. As of Jul 31, however, the film has grossed more than RMB3.5 billion, with nearly 85 million moviegoers. This abstract figure is perhaps not as concrete as Zhu Yilong’s feelings: “Our cinemas are bustling again.”

From the end of June to the beginning of July, Zhu Yilong did roadshows for Lost in the Stars in 7 cities across 10 days. This is the largest number of roadshows he has ever done for a film. Before he started the roadshow tour, he felt rather apprehensive as he didn’t know what kind of situations he would face and what type of questions he would get. Zhu Yilong felt less worried after he learnt that the organizers picked Wuhan as the first roadshow stop for the film. Wuhan is his hometown and the only city that held a roadshow for his movie "Lighting up the Stars" when it was released last year. The movie grossed RMB1.7 billion and earned Zhu Yilong one of the most prestigious awards of his career - the Golden Rooster Award for Best Lead Actor.

His hometown audiences were particularly supportive during the two roadshows, but Zhu Yilong could feel the subtle difference in their reactions. Lighting up the Stars is a heart-warming story and the overall narrative is light-hearted. However, Lost in the Stars is highly dramatic and the audience’s reactions were more complex. They were critical of the character He Fei.

The entire cast and crew came to a consensus at a very early stage during the production: Lost in the Stars is a commercial genre movie. When Zhu Yilong first received the script, he was hesitant to accept the role for the very exact same reason as his audiences. However, He Fei is a challenging, complex, multi-faceted, and extreme role; it is rare to encounter such a role and Zhu Yilong was worried that it might be difficult to land a similar role in future.

Zhu Yilong watched an initial cut of Lost in the Stars before he joined the set of Only the River Flows. "The film managed to convey what the original script and the actors hoped to express.” He watched the completed movie for the first time at a Shenyang roadshow six months later. There were minimal changes and the main differences were the special effects. This time, he was so drawn into the film that he realised he had crumpled the ticket in his hand after the screening ended.

He was also deeply moved by the audiences. The audiences could feel all the key character designs that he made on the set and reacted as anticipated. This is the magic of film that transcends time and space, that is shared between an actor on the set and audiences in the cinema. Zhu Yilong felt happy and immensely satisfied.

The artistic and moral questions evoked by Lost in the Star aren’t part of the actor’s responsibility. What Zhu Yilong had to ensure was that audiences were intrigued by He Fei, gripped by his emotions, and drawn into the mystery quickly. In his opinion, He Fei is not only a highly dramatic character, but also a realistic one too. This was his main entry point when he first started to create his character; the tragic ending of He Fei has to serve as a realistic warning.

“He is an actor who maintains an appropriate distance from audiences; he doesn’t seem so ‘definte’ and is somewhat ‘vague’.” Producer Chen Sicheng explained why he chose Zhu Yilong to play He Fei. Zhu Yilong took a step back to think about this comment. He said that Chen is describing the ideal state of an actor, and this is a trait that he admired in veteran actors. He hasn't thought much about how close he is to achieving this state, but he's pretty convinced that “this is the right direction.”

Only the River Flows

On May 20, the world premiere of Only the River Flows took place in Cannes. At the end of the 101-minute screening, the 1,000-person Claude Debussy theatre was filled with applause.

“Movie is a universal language,” Zhu Yilong has a deeper understanding of this saying now. Despite the language barrier and cultural differences between the East and the West, human nature is universal. The story of a police in a small town in southern China during the 1990s captivated Western audiences.

“It's hard for me to watch this movie as a regular audience now.” Zhu Yilong first received the script more than three years ago. Back then, the character Ma Zhe seemed like a profound character and he wasn’t sure if he could handle it. Subsequently, the production team changed and the script was revised. When he received the revised script, he decided to take on the role.

Zhu Yilong’s first priority was to establish the character. The film is an adaptation of Chinese writer Yu Hua's pioneering novella titled Mistakes by the River. During his preparation, Zhu Yilong saw an old photo of Yu Hua taken by photographer Xiao Quan. In the photo, Yu Hua, who had a moustache and thick black hair, was staring at the camera. The photo was taken in 1993, right at the time when the story took place. The character Ma Zhe immediately materialized in Zhu Yilong’s head.

His next urgent priority was to become Ma Zhe. For one and a half months, Zhu Yilong followed the local police in Nanfeng, Jiangxi province, every day, to experience life, simulate crime scenes, and question witnesses. He also gained weight consciously. By the time he appeared on camera, “Zhu Yilong” was replaced by a middle-aged man called “Ma Zhe”, who has a slightly chubby frame and somber eyes. Like Mo Sanmei and He Fei, Ma Zhe is another character that contrasts greatly with himself. People often asked Zhu Yilong, it must be satisfying to play such contrasting roles, right? Zhu Yilong gave the question some serious thought, but admitted that it was difficult for him to find such performances enjoyable or satisfying.

The director of Lost in the Stars Cui Rui recalled a moment after an intense He Fei scene. The first thing Zhu Yilong did when he returned to the monitor was to grab his Thermos bottle and drink water. Those intense emotions that he exhibited did not seem to belong to him, Zhu Yilong said, "I have these reactions and emotions only because I’m in that specific environment. Once I’m away from the set, I often find it difficult to believe that I did those stuff.”

Many of his co-workers have talked about Zhu Yilong's focus and dedication on set. Once the camera rolls, he would hand himself to his character entirely. Off-camera, he would spend most of his time preparing for the next scene. “I don't want to leave any regrets,” Zhu Yilong said. Movie is an art of regret – this is a phrase that Zhu Yilong often heard when he was in film school. He understands the inevitability of regret in acting, but believes in reducing it. Whenever he is on the set, he would try his best to give his best performance and ideas; he would express them regardless of whether they were right or wrong. “I will regret it if I merely think about it and not do anything about it.”

Next, trust was also needed during the filming of Only the River Flows. In order to recreate the 1990s mood, the movie was shot on 16mm film, with no HD playback on set. The images on the monitor resembled television in the 80s, with grainy white spots and indiscernible facial details. Zhu Yilong chose to trust himself, the film director Wei Shujun and cinematographer Cheng Ma.

Previously, he had watched Director Wei Shujun's Ripples of Life and Striding into the Wind and found him free-spirited and rather goofy. After working together this time, he realized that Director Wei was also highly receptive to people's opinions. “The cameraman, lighting crew, actors, and director would always have a discussion before shooting.” It was a young creative team and everyone belonged to the same age group. There was no absolute authority on creation or ideas. If this was a problem with a scene, they were not afraid of trying all over again in a different way.

Zhu Yilong was attracted to Only the River Flows because it was filmed chronologically. “It is rare for an actor to have the opportunity to embark on a journey with a character.” Does filming chronologically help the actor get into character more easily? Zhu Yilong didn’t seem to have a definitive answer. Sometimes, he would also suspect if the magical moment of “getting into character” really existed. He wasn’t sure if this was because he didn’t pay enough attention to the process or if that moment simply didn’t exist. In his own experience, whenever he tried to seek that moment consciously, he would find himself already connected with his character.

This process is not controlled by one's subjective consciousness. Zhu Yilong doesn't want to be in control either. Very often, he follows the emotions of his character. This was the case for the head shaving scene in Lost in the Stars and Ma Zhe’s emotional scenes in the second half of Only the River Flows. “My reactions are subconscious and not predetermined.” Once Zhu Yilong is on the set, when he enters the circumstances and the narrative starts to flow, the emotions will come naturally.

Audiences Will Never Disappear

Like the river and its meanders, Zhu Yilong is also constantly flowing and changing.

He played similar characters in dozens of digital films when he first started out, fulfilling his responsibility as an actor dutifully. Then his opportunity came when a web drama pushed him ahead of his peers in the market. Next, he kept playing different roles on the big screen and sought breakthroughs to keep refreshing the public’s perception of him. Now, it's time for everyone to get to know filmmaker Zhu Yilong.

The idea of making a movie germinated when he was a 20-year old college student at Beijing Film Academy. During his four years in college, he took audio-visual language classes, attended lectures on films, and watched film masterpieces in order to nourish this little idea he had. But he needed a suitable opportunity and courage in order to turn this idea into action. The turning point came after his first trip to Cannes in 2019. He finally saw those faces that he had only seen on the screen at the annual Cannes Film Festival - a gathering of international filmmakers. Zhu Yilong felt a bit apprehensive, as he was invited by a brand and had no work that was competing in the festival. After he returned to Beijing, he told his team, “We need to make a movie.”

Four years later, he returned to Cannes with Only the River Flows. It was a particularly difficult four-year period that saw a turbulent environment; cinemas shut down and film releases were postponed indefinitely. The Chinese film industry was in a dire state. Yet Zhu Yilong progressed steadily. He made eight films and played the lead actor in four of them.

Was he ever worried about a film’s theatrical release? He shook his head. “I chose to make films because I like it. I’m attracted to a role and I want to create this character. Besides, I've always believed that the audiences in cinemas will never disappear.” Unlike watching films on your phones or through a projector, Zhu Yilong believes that film-going is a kind of lifestyle. You need to buy a ticket in advance, set time aside, and join a group of people to quietly enjoy a two-hour story in the dark. It is an extremely impressive and emotional experience. Using himself as an example, Zhu Yilong said that he still remembers his schooling days when he watched films at the Film Archive.

At the same time, Zhu Yilong also acknowledged that the viewing habits of audiences have changed in this era of short videos. But he would rather deem this a positive change. From silent to sound, from black-and-white to color, films have always evolved with the times. Zhu Yilong thinks that we are at another turning point right now. “We need to accept this change and explore new performance styles, audio-visual language, and narrative techniques to cope with these changes.”

Zhu Yilong watched Hirokazu Koreeda’s “Monster” at Cannes. In the Lumière Hall, more than 2,000 people filled the upper and lower floors. When the 125-minute screening ended, there was unceasing applause that “lasted for about 10 to 15 minutes.” This 15 minutes belonged entirely to the entire cast and crew of Monster and Zhu Yilong felt heartened by it too. “In addition to realist films, we should also introduce more young, pioneering, and imaginative films to international audiences in future.” This is Zhu Yilong's new reflection after his trip to Cannes this year.

In the spring of 2023, Zhu Yilong learned that Only the River Flows was selected for the Un Certain Regard section of the Cannes Film Festival. He said rather emotionally, “I guess I’ve achieved a small goal of mine.”

So what’s the next goal?

“Can’t reveal it yet. I will just follow the flow of the river and work hard.”

**THE END**

A lengthy but lovely interview with Zhu Yilong that focuses on Lost in the Stars & Only the River Flows. Happy reading! If you'd like to retranslate this, pls DM me for permission + credit.

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

@darkthingsludgebat

🎻🎸💋

There are two music studios in the building that faces the mountains. One belongs to the Lan family. They're famous violinists, walls lining up with their awards, golden cups and medals shining in the light. Lan Qiren, a world-renowned virtuoso, teaches the most talented of the young generation, his nephews, alongside several other students from high class backgrounds. He teaches them the classics, expects rigorous, disciplined, harmonious music to enchant his ears during every lesson, his criticism is scathing and his praise is rare. His most talented student, Lan Wangji, has already secured spots in the world's most famed orchestras.

The other studio belongs to a woman known as Cangse Sanren, a retired rockstar, highly talented, her music still being played on international radios during throwback segments twenty years later. She teaches the young generations how to feel the music, how to have fun with it, and to be disciplined only as long as they don't stifle their own creativity with rules and limitations. Her son, Wei Ying, is the apple of her eye and her best student. He's already signed record deals, his songs are receiving millions of streams online and he's recruiting band members.

The studios are a floor apart.

The first time Wei Ying and Lan Zhan meet is on the stairway.

---

"Are you nervous?" Lan Zhan asks. Wei Ying smiles, putting his guitar down. That had been his last rehearsal, and it had been great, as usual... well, almost.

"A little. The venue sold out. Thousands of people... I've never had such a big audience..."

Lan Zhan says nothing, but instead fishes through his bag for something and hands it to Wei Ying.

"What's this?"

"Look."

The envelope reveals the familiar design of Wei Ying's concert tickets. He can't help an excited shout. "You're coming?!"

"Mn."

Wei Ying jumps onto Lan Zhan and pulls him into a tight hug. "You said you didn't find any more tickets!"

"Brother pulled some strings. I wanted it to be a surprise the day of, but you looked like you needed encouragement now."

Wei Ying laughs, relieved. "I'm so glad you'll be there. I always feel so happy when you're around."

"Likewise."

Wei Ying laughs again, "So formal."

Neither realize they're still holding one another so tightly.

They also don't realize that, all of a sudden, their lips are inches apart.

And neither know who initiated first, but they're suddenly making out in the middle of Wei Ying's studio.

In the doorway, Cangse Sanren stretches her palm out and Lan Qiren very reluctantly high fives her.

[d-criss-news]

Broadway Buying Guide: November 18, 2024- MAYBE HAPPY ENDING Arrives on Broadway

This Week's Top Broadway Shows

1) Maybe Happy Ending

Buy Tickets from: $62 - Emmy and Golden Globe Award winner Darren Criss returns to Broadway alongside Helen J Shen in the new romantic musical comedy Maybe Happy Ending. Inside a one-room apartment in the heart of Seoul, Oliver lives a happily quiet life listening to jazz records and caring for his favorite plant. But what else is there to do when you’re a Helperbot 3, a robot that has long been retired and considered obsolete? When his fellow Helperbot neighbor Claire asks to borrow his charger, what starts as an awkward encounter leads to a unique friendship, a surprising adventure, and maybe even…love? Winner of the Richard Rodgers Award, Maybe Happy Ending is the offbeat and captivating story of two outcasts near the end of their warranty who discover that even robots can be swept off their feet. Helmed by visionary director and Tony Award winner Michael Arden, with a dazzling scenic design by Dane Laffrey and book, music, and lyrics by the internationally acclaimed duo Will Aronson and Hue Park, Maybe happy Ending is a fresh, original musical about the small things that make any life worth living.