#going to sleep now fr gn
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mayoiayasep · 2 years ago
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mafia and human au love trio<3 btw<3<3
[ID: Official Mairimashita! Iruma-kun art of Azz, Clara, and Iruma in the mafia and human AUs. They are in the same poses both times: Azz frowning at the top with one hand on Iruma's shoulder, Iruma in the middle smiling with a hand at Clara's back, and Clara smiing and throwing her arms out.
The three are in suits in the mafia AU, and Azz and Clara are carrying weapons and cigarettes and have more threatening expressions. In the human AU, they're in modern clothing and smiling with papers floating around them. End ID]
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nights-flying-fox · 1 year ago
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and the whole resistance and tumblr cheered for the best baby ever
(ALSO HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKE!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉)
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rain-is-cool · 1 year ago
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Istg Spotify can sense my feelings or smth like how tf are you putting on the right vibe of songs without me even switching playlists??
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boar-cry · 2 years ago
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Tomorrow......
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quevadilla · 1 year ago
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time to wash + blow dry my hair and go to bed so gnighttttt
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magical-bear-dubin · 1 year ago
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Going to sleep,
Reblogging disaster,
Going to sleep,
Reblogging disaster....
Yea i made my choice
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the campus library put up some halloween decorations on the windows
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suiana · 4 months ago
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(yandere! sleepy bf x gn! reader) (based on the picture)
he stares at his empty apartment. nothing. it was devoid of life, not even his presence made the apartment feel less empty.
he remembers seeing you there with him just like it was yesterday. the way your soft body would mold perfectly with his... or the way that you'd kiss him so tenderly as he mumurs sweet nothings into your ear...
and now you weren't with him anymore.
he felt so empty without you that it hurt. so much so that it actually hurt him physically. his heart clenched as he grips at his hoodie, as though he was trying to tear apart his chest.
he misses you so fucking much.
sleepynfreakybae: baby
sent at 14:44
he sighs, eyes narrowing at his series of unread messages. right... you couldn't respond to him. how could he forget?
chewing on his bottom lip, the fatigued man slumps on his bed before typing away on his screen. what else could he do but relive his moments with you?
sleepynfreakybae: baby i miss you
sleepynfreakybae: can u come back?
sleepynfreakybae: i feel so empty without you
sleepynfreakybae: why did u have to leave
sleepynfreakybae: ur so cruel I can't even sleep now
...
he knws he's not going to get a reply back anytime soon. not when you're already gone. but still, a man can hope. maybe you'll makestically appear again and allow him to experience those wonderful times again-
*PING!*
YOU: 𝖈𝖆𝖑𝖒 𝖉𝖔𝖜𝖓 𝖐𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖓 𝖜𝖍𝖎𝖘𝖐𝖊𝖗𝖘...
YOU: but fr bruh wtf
YOU: i just left ur place 💀
sleepynfreakybae: so?
YOU: im literally just going home y r u acting like im dead
sleepynfreakybae: cause you are :( u left me, come back pls :(
read at 14:48
meanwhile... you could only shake your head as you stare at your clingy boyfriend's behavior. damn it, you thought he'd have fallen asleep with how he was acting just minutes before. why is he spamming you now?
but you guess that's his charm. like a clingy kitty that can't stand being away from their owner.
you let out a soft sigh before turning around and making your way back to your boyfriend's apartment. what a needy boyfriend.
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wheeboo · 1 year ago
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01:10am | choi seungcheol
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SYNOPSIS. in which your cuddly boyfriend interrupts your late night reading time. PAIRING. choi seungcheol x gn!reader GENRE. fluff, established relationship WARNINGS. a lil suggestive, reader is smaller than cheol, lil makeout kissing sesh oops, terms of endearment, cheol is whipped, self-indulgent fr WORD COUNT. 1.1k
notes: i just have this thing for soft cuddly bed scenes w cheol :(
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Seungcheol really doesn't know why that out of all other times of the day, you choose to read during the depths of the night.
But he's not at all complaining𑁋he's blessed with this grand view of you with your headphones on as you're sitting up against the frame of the bed behind, knees almost propped up to your chest, with a tiny, dim book light attached to the bridge of your book highlighting your face. Seungcheol thinks this might be one of his new favourite views of you.
He flips himself over to face your direction, opening an eye so he could quietly watch you. Seungcheol takes a moment to appreciate the cute, subtle details of your face when you're focused𑁋the way your eyelashes cast delicate shadows on your cheeks, the steady rise and fall of your chest, and the way your lips occasionally move, silently forming the words you're reading. The only sounds in the room he can hear are the rustling of you turning the page, the distant murmur of the city outside, and the faint music escaping from your headphones.
Letting out a yawn, he takes a moment to check the time on his phone, eyes widening to see how late it was. Yet when he turns back to you, he only pauses, because you seem too immersed in the book to be able to go to sleep right now, and he really doesn't want to disturb you.
"Baby?" he calls out to you softly, yet you don't hear him as expected, only furrowing up a brow at what Seungcheol could assume was you reading a peculiar scene in your book. He feels his shoulders deflate.
Instead, with a huffed breath, he can only take to sinking back within the bedsheets and hoping that you'd fall asleep after him.
But he can't fall asleep, no matter how much tossing and turning he does, since it's almost outrageous to his mind to the thought of him falling asleep without at least holding you in his arms like he always does.
Seungcheol turns himself over once more, a pout at his lips as he scoots closer towards you, yet you still don't seem to notice him. He contemplates for a moment, glancing down at your free hand at your side, and a thought crosses his mind. Slowly, he grabs your hand into his, intertwining your fingers together, and the action is just so natural and instinctive like a missing puzzle piece fitting perfectly into place.
He glances at you, noticing the slight smile that tugs at the corners of your lips as you continue reading. It isn't until he starts drawing circles on your palm and picking at your sleeve that finally grabs your attention, and you pick your head up to look at him, slipping your headphones off.
You watch the way he continues playing with your hand𑁋from drawing shapes on it, tracing the creases on your palm, to running a finger over your knuckles𑁋like it's the most interesting thing in the world.
"Cheol, what are you doing?" You ask bemusedly, attempting to pull your hand away but he just tugs it back.
"Hmm, missing you," he coos softly, adjusting your hands so that your flat palms are touching each other. The fact that the size of your hand is perfectly smaller than his is utterly adorable. "Your hand is small, you know?"
You roll your eyes, as if annoyed. "And yours is huge. We've been over this already."
"It's cute." He locks your fingers together again, tilting his head slightly to look at you. "You're cute."
You only click your tongue, biting back the smile to your face and the heat threatening up your neck as you bring your attention back to your book.
You release your hand from his. "Let me go read𑁋"
But before you can go back to reading, you feel a pair of arms wrap around and pull you into a tight embrace, knocking the book off your lap. A surprised gasp flies out of you, and in one swift motion, Seungcheol flips you both over so that he's now hovering over you. Your book is long forgotten on the floor as you stare up at him in surprise, the dim light casting a soft glow on both your faces.
Something catches in your throat as you lock eyes with him. If you listen closely, his breathing is just as unstable as your heartbeat, like he's breathless already. His dark gaze seems to hold a silent request, glancing between your eyes and your mouth. It bares a question that doesn't need words, and you answer with a small nod.
And with that, he leans down to press a kiss to your lips. It's soft, tender like always, and it doesn't take much for your body to go all limp below his as it deepens. He presses his weight against you carefully, making sure you're comfortable beneath him.
You feel the way he trails his fingers along your arm until he reaches your hand once again. With a deliberate move, he laces your fingers together before bringing your hand up to pin it gently against the pillow behind your head.
Seungcheol breaks the kiss, his eyes searching yours for any sign of discomfort.
"Okay?" he asks, voice a low murmur.
You nod, even though your heart is more than ready to burst out of your chest at any given moment. "Okay."
His eyes only soften, the smile to his face widening, a couple of shy giggles escaping your mouths together and into the thick air surrounding you both. He captures your lips once again in another sweet, lingering kiss, before nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.
"So pretty," Seungcheol whispers against your skin, his warm breath sending shivers down your spine. He starts peppering feather-light kisses along your jawline, his hand gentle on your waist as he revels in the simple joy of holding you close. You lightly run your fingers through his hair, the soft strands slipping through your fingertips.
"Why are you being so... so touchy right now?" You tease impishly, sighing contentedly at his touch, feeling the soft vibrations of his laughter against your cheek.
"I dunno," he admits simply, pulling back slightly to look into your eyes. "You were reading too much."
"I was only reading for, like, an hour. That's not that long."
"An hour too long," he counters sulkily, pressing a soft peck to the tip of your nose. "I can't fall asleep without you."
You let out a playful scoff, running your fingertips up the exposed skin of his back ridden up from the black hoodie he wore. "You're such a big baby, Cheol."
Seungcheol leans down so his mouth is just a breath away, and before you could register it, he's rolling over once again so that you're on top of him this time, his hands coming to rest firmly at your hips. There's a smirk to his face that you can hardly see, yet you already know what he's thinking.
"Only for you."
"For... me?"
"Just for you," he murmurs against your lips. "I'm all yours."
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taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @lockburn-castle @vrnism @weird-bookworm @mhlsymlysn @ryuwonieebae @yeonjuns-redhair @wonwooz1 @woohaeyo @mark-geolli @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @aaniag
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winterrrnight · 9 months ago
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babe I just had the best idea for a rafe concept it pains me
Okay so imagine like reader is at work (somewhere idk where) and she just gets so overwhelmed but her and rafes relationship is still new so she doesn't call him because she doesn't wanna bother him....😭
I'm probably not the first person to think of this but it ON MY MINDDDD
literally dropped everything to write this!!!! this reader is way too me coded and I cannot :’) thank you so so much for the req vee đŸ„č💗 you asked for a concept
 I wrote a fic
. :D I hope you like this vee <3
down for you
PAIRING: soft!rafe cameron x gn!reader
SUMMARY: rafe wants you to be able to rely on him for anything and everything.
WARNINGS: the reader is a preschool teacher and quite self dependent; lots of fluff; cute nicknames; lovesick rafe (my fav fr); minimal swearing
EDITH SPEAKS: this request speaks volumes to me đŸ„č this is way too me coded, and I just had to write it, I hope you all like this! the ending is maybe a bit abrupt tho :( please like and reblog if you liked reading <3 feedback is always appreciated đŸč
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I should leave, I haven't yet, but when you smile, I just forget
â†¶àłƒâœ§Ëš. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-
You can swear this day can't get any worse. You’ve been on your feet basically the entire day, always rushing from your students here to there. You love the little kiddos with your entire heart, but today, for some reason, they are being an extra pain in the ass. They aren’t as cooperative as you’d prefer; you don’t know what’s gotten into them, they are like little energy packets constantly running around.
Due to some teacher duties you aren’t even able to sit down for your lunch break, taking away the only 15 minutes you have to yourself. And it just gets progressively worse when you finally leave the school to go back to your place and your car has a slashed tire, and today had to be the day when you don’t have a spare tire in your trunk.
It’s been over 6 hours since you left your house this morning, and it’s just Tuesday, but it’s feeling like the longest, most excruciating week ever. You’re now leaning against your car door, letting out a deep exhale as you lean your head back, feeling a headache creep into your brain and pulse harshly. You’re tired, hungry, absolutely exhausted
 and all you want are the warm hugs of your boyfriend.
Your boyfriend.
Rafe is quite a new addition in your life, both of you being together for a mere month. He’s been so loving to you, always protective and just genuinely taking great care of you.
You pull out your phone and find his contact, but before you can dial him, your thumb hovers over his name in sudden realization – he’s always at work at this time.
You begin to contemplate your initial decision of asking him to come here to help you out, and then ultimately decide against it, realizing he’s probably very busy at work, and would only be heavily distracted if you call him.
So, just like how you always do it, you decide to take matters into your own hands.
â†¶àłƒâœ§Ëš. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-
It’s nearing 6 pm when you finally get to reach your place. You had to make calls to get yourself a mechanic to get your car fixed, who took his sweet sweet time to come to you. You’re now completely exhausted, wanting nothing more than just to plop on your bed and sleep till your heart desires. You can hear your stomach grumble since you never had the chance to eat the lunch you missed out on, but you make it a problem for later, deciding to just take a nap first.
As you drive into your driveway, you recognise Rafe’s black Range Rover already parked, with him standing next to it, leaning back against the hood of his car as he’s looking intently at his phone. As he catches the sound of your car driving, he instantly looks up, watching your car enter the driveway.
Before you can properly park and get out, Rafe rushes to you, opening the door for you.
“Oh my god where have you been?” He asks you, his voice laced with concern. “I tried calling you and texting you, you always come back home by late afternoon,”
You step out of the car and Rafe shuts the door, a hand quickly landing at the small of your back as you both walk to the porch of your house. He can see you’re really tired; droopy eyes, heavy steps, deep sighs; he knows something happened.
“Yeah my phone died,” you mutter as you unlock the main door of your house, both of you stepping inside. “I just
 today was kind of a heavy day, nothing much honestly,” you shrug as you toss your keys in the dish and remove your coat and shoes.
“What happened?” Rafe asks, still really concerned for you as he watches you take off your cost and hang it on the coat rack. As you’re done, you face him with a small smile on your face.
“Nothing much, really,” you say softly, gently cupping his cheek with a hand and tenderly caressing his skin. “Don’t worry, yeah?” You mumble, taking your hand off his cheek as you make your way to the kitchen.
Rafe stays on your heels, following you and monitoring every single move of yours – your padding till the fridge, opening it, getting a bottle of water, unscrewing it and drinking from it.
“You look so exhausted, I can see it in your eyes,” he comments. “Your hair is all messy, your clothes are dirty; it’s clearly not nothing. Come on, tell me, what happened,”
His voice is stern, but not in an angry way; but in an apprehensive way. He moves his hand to your face, gently brushing your hair as he fixes some of the unruly strands.
As you finish drinking your water; drinking almost all of it in one go, you keep your bottle aside and let out a sigh, turning to look at him. “It was just one of those
 heavy days, but it’s over now yeah? I’m now home,” you say softly.
“But just tell me what happened,” Rafe’s voice now drops to a whisper as he moves closer to you, continuing to weave his fingers through your hair.
You close your eyes for a moment, delving into the relaxing feeling of Rafe’s fingers softly combing through your hair, but also realizing he’s going to keep pressing for you to tell him what happened.
“The kids were a bit uncooperative today,” you say with a soft chuckle. “And then we have this event coming up at school, so I was busy for my entire lunch break preparing for it. And then my car had a flat tire and I didn’t have a spare so I had to get a mechanic, which took most of the time. But besides that, nothing much happened,” you say with a small shrug.
“Besides all that?” Rafe mutters incredulously. “That’s already a lot, baby, why didn’t you call me when you found out about your flat tire? I would’ve come; or sent someone to get you, we would’ve had lunch in my office, and I would have had someone take care of the tire and bring your car back too.” There’s a small frown on his face and he now holds your face in both his hands, gently skimming your cheeks with his thumbs.
You look up in his soft, baby blue eyes. “I did think of calling you but-”
“But?”
“But I thought
” you take a deep breath, your eye contact with him faltering. “you’ll be busy, and I didn’t want to be a burden to you, really, I was able to get it all fixed just fine,”
You can hear Rafe tsk; his tongue clicking against his teeth as he softly shakes his head. “I’m never busy for you okay? My work does not ever get more importance than you, okay? It never does, and it never will, especially when you’re in trouble and need help,”
He gently grips your chin and tips your head back just a bit, making you look at him. His eyes are softened, the blue even more warmer than usual.
“I know you prefer to do things on your own,” he whispers, “but you have to realise that you really don’t need to do each thing on your own, especially now that I’m around. I won’t mind, really, and besides, I would love to show everyone off at work that I am the boyfriend of the most beautiful person on this damn planet yeah?”
You can’t help but chuckle softly at his words as you keep looking in his eyes.
“So, promise me, next time you need any sorts of help, want me to do something for you, or just want me to be there, you don’t think twice about calling me up okay?” He says softly, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
He can see the reluctancy in your eyes, but you eventually give in and nod.
“Okay, promise,” you murmur, smiling as you wrap your arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. He gladly hugs you back, snuggling his face in your neck as he gently rubs your back.
“So
” you speak up, and he hums back in response, both of you still hugging.
“I’ll take up on that offer right now. I’ll go and shower, and you make something for me to eat yeah?”
â†¶àłƒâœ§Ëš. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-
TAGLIST: @runningfrom2am @saccharinesammie @maybankslover @totalswag @madelynie @chenslucy @ietss @elle-mp3 @viawritesstuff @wallsdreams @lunalitva @sadfury @shores-kayla @jamesbuckybarneswify @xxxlaura @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @callsignwidow @starkowswife @drewstarkeyswifehoe @jjchaer @f4ll-for-you @wearemadeofstardust0 @drewsmusee @rafegirly @addriaenne @leighbronk @rafesdrew @bejeweledreverie @raf3sgff @aerangi @drewstarkey1bae @moneymaybank @spideysimpossiblegirl @the-tortured-poets-depxrtment @rafesgiirl @theoraekenslover @fals3-g0d @personalfavsthatarerandom @b1mb0slvt
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crystalflygardener · 9 months ago
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“save a cow, milk the milkman.” or let him milk himself

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Milkman/Francis Mosses short drabble where he can't help but (obsessively) pine for MC and that pining brings him to tamper with the milk he delivers to you.
Francis Mosses x GN!Reader
NSFW // CW: obsessive/lovesick and possessive milkman, pining, he’s a little submissive hehe, milkman is actually a horny virgin, breeding kink, it's not only milk in there, anatomically incorrect, lots of horny fantasizing. 1.4k words.
(A/N: he's such a cutie fr; dedicated to my milkman obsessed friends)
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He should thank you, he figures, his dick twitches every time he sees you in the lobby. And maybe he purposely forgets his ID or his entry permit, just so you’d stare him down with that suspicious glint in your eye. Thank god all you need to see is his torso and above, or else you might just catch the tent in his pants as he casually strolls through the door you always unlock for him. How kind of you.. He can feel his fingers itching, his cock begging for release while he climbs up the stairs to his apartment. Maybe in the time it takes him to get there, he’ll have calmed down by then. But oh how he wishes that he could stare at you longer, memorize the lines of your face
 But what if you start to think he’s a doppelganger? Oh, he would be devastated if you called the D.D.D. on him; all because he doesn’t know how to act around you. And so he’ll keep this ruse going, he’ll let you quietly wonder why his dark circles seem to be getting worse lately. Who knows? Maybe one day, you’ll worry about him enough to ask about it, or at least that’s what he wishes. The moment he enters his apartment and locks the door behind him, he impatiently yanks off his bow tie. It feels too constricting around his neck. In fact, his whole body feels too constricted in general. He finds himself rushing over to his bedroom and sprawling out onto his bed with his fingers frantically working at the buckle of his belt, sliding his pants down along with his briefs. Finally, his cock springs free from its confines, standing straight and proud, the tip beading with enough precum that his hand is able to glide smoothly up and down his shaft. Francis has a certain dislike, for the way you’re content with only a bottle of milk a day. He’d made sure to alter his schedule for you. You’re the only one he delivers milk to everyday, just so you’d never run out. But the reason why he dislikes it though
 is because he also never runs out of 'milk'. Even after a hard day of work, he keeps himself up at night. With his back now against the headboard and his legs spread, his eyes shut as he paints pictures of you in his mind.. You teasing him.. You eagerly working your mouth up and down his length
 Only for him to open his eyes and see the emptiness, where you should be, in front of him. It’s all simply wishful thinking, that he can finally replace his hand with any part of you he can get. After all, the glimpses of you he catches when you open your door to accept his milk delivery has proved to him that his hands would fit perfectly on your hips and the curve of your ass. Squeezing and kneading your flesh until it’s red while he empties himself inside you (preferably more than once)
 (WARNING: SKIP IF YOU DON’T LIKE MILK TAMPERING) Francis enjoys the image of his cum spilling out of you far more than he likes to admit– it gets him off every time. But for now, he’ll settle for emptying himself inside your next milk delivery. What a diligent worker he is, ruining his sleep to provide you with his own homemade calcium. And if you notice the difference in taste, he’ll just tell you that he worries for your health, that he merely added a bit of vitamin D in there. If you, however, find out the truth, can you really fault the man for simply wanting to offer you a part of himself? (END)
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javierpena-inatacvest · 10 months ago
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Bonding
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Summary: You and Javi just brought your daughter Lucy home from the hospital. While the two of you couldn't be more in love and excited at the addition of your newest family member, it doesn't mean that you both aren't feeling some of the nerves of being first time parents.
Word Count: 2.4K (She's reasonable, your honor)
Pairing: Dad!Javier Peña x Wife!Reader (no use of y/n, reader's nickname is Osita)
Warnings: This is honestly just pure, sweet, sickening, fluff, mentions of body insecurity postpartum, worry/anxiety about being a first time parent, Javi snuggling a newborn baby skin on skin (it needs a warning fr), Javi being the cutest dad ever to exist, Javi is in full on dad mode, ladies and gents (gn) đŸ«Ą
A/N: This was inspired after reading @kteague adorable post about Frankie carrying his daughter in a baby sling, and I couldn't help but picture sweet Javi as a first time dad cuddling with his baby girl 😭đŸ„ș and to @endlessthxxghts for being a bad influence 💀Y ou know for a fact that Lucy's got Javi wrapped around her finger from the moment she's born, and picturing the adorable bond these two have makes me want to melt into a puddle đŸ«  also I have a raging case of baby fever, but let's pretend that wasn't entirely the motive to write this or that I'm not projecting at all WHOOPS
Part of the Forever and Always Series!!
From the moment you had found out you were pregnant, you had no doubt that Javi was going to be nothing short of the best dad you could have ever hoped for. Before your daughter was even born, Javi had completely flipped the switch into full Dad Mode, spending the past 9 months coming with you to every single doctor’s appointment, baby proofing every square inch of your home, and checking out (and re-checking out) every parenting book he could get his hands on at the library. 
So it was safe to say, that once you brought Lucy home from the hospital to start your life together as a family of 3, if Javi hadn’t already been full force into Dad Mode, he sure as hell was now, and was going to do anything and everything he could to make sure that the two most important girls in his life were showered with every ounce of love and affection he had. 
It was also safe to say that even though he wouldn’t admit it, Javi was also an absolute nervous wreck at the reality that he was now actually a dad to a tiny newborn daughter that had been brought into the world. 
“You think that her diaper is snug enough? Should I get a bottle ready just in case she gets hungry? Different pajamas to sleep in before we put her down?” Javi asked, carefully cradling Lucy against his chest as you passed her off to him, planting a soft kiss on her head, gently bouncing her up and down. 
“Javi,” You laughed leaning in to give your sleepy daughter a kiss on the messy tufts of hair ruffled on her head before looking back up at your husband, “I’m going to take a shower, not leaving for war. I’ll be quick, so that way if she needs me then I’ll-” 
“Hermosa,” he paused, raising an eyebrow at you as he smiled, “take as long as you need, okay? I’m just asking to make sure so I don’t have to bother you. Take an hour, hell, take 3 hours for all I care, you deserve it, Momma. I can’t imagine how exhausted you are. Me and Lucy Goosey will be just fine, won’t we, mi amor (my love)?” 
The two of you smiled as Lucy quietly cooed, your grin spreading even wider watching Javi’s face light up with joy as he looked down at his daughter, your heart practically bursting at the seams with how in love he was with her. But even through the pure bliss in Javi’s eyes, you couldn’t help but sense a nervous twinge in his voice, knowing that in the short day and a half that you’d been home from the hospital, even though you were only a room away, this was the first time that Javi was in charge of Lucy all by himself. And because you knew your husband better than you knew yourself, you knew that despite the fact Javi was probably better prepared for parenting than you were, he was secretly terrified he was going to do something that would hurt his precious baby girl, and the thought of that? That scared the shit out of him. 
“Javi?” You said again, gently rubbing your hand against his arm, forcing his gaze to shift on to you and your tired smile. “Honey, you know you’re an amazing dad right? But, I can guarantee that even though we would do anything and everything for this stinker, we’re gonna mess up at some point. You love her so much, and that’s all that matters, okay? I love you, Jav.” 
You could feel some of the tension begin to ease from Javi’s body, looking back down at Lucy before back to you, taking in a deep breath, and softly nodding his head to himself. 
“I know, it’s just- She’s so perfect. I wanna give her everything. I just, I just wanna be a good dad. I just want her to know that I love her so much.” 
As if you weren’t already an emotional mess, watching the tears well in Javi’s eyes as he gazed down at Lucy, looking at her like she was the only thing the world that existed, had your hormonal heart bursting into a million pieces, now trying to wipe your own wetness streaming down your cheeks. 
“Javi, I don’t think it’s possible for you to love that little girl anymore than you already do.” You sighed, stepping in to press a kiss onto Javi’s lips before another onto Lucy’s head. “Okay, I’m gonna go shower before I become even more of a hot mess than I already am. You sure you’re gonna be okay?” 
“Thanks, Osita. We’ll be just fine. I love you.” 
“I love you too, Jav.” 
“And hey, you’re not a hot mess, just hot.” Javi smirked, making you roll your eyes as you gestured to yourself and the undeniably disheveled state you were in. 
“Javi, I look like I just rolled out of a dumpster. I am literally wearing an adult sized diaper.” 
“And no one’s ever made an adult sized diaper look hotter, Hermosa.” 
You couldn’t help but let out a snort, shaking your head at your husband as you finally turned to head out of the nursery, giving Javi and Lucy one last wave before disappearing out of the door frame and into the bathroom for a much needed shower. 
“Alright, it’s just you and me, pollita (little chicken).” Javi smiled, rocking Lucy against your chest, taking a deep breath of reassuring confidence, feeling more self-assured about his time alone. “Let’s get you into some pajamas, huh?” With another kiss on Lucy’s head, Javi carefully laid her down on her changing table, reaching into one of the drawers to pull out a tiny onesie covered in pink flowers and strawberries. 
He couldn’t help but laugh to himself at how absolutely tiny the pair of pajamas felt in his hands, shaking his head in disbelief at the fact that all of this was real- for so long, Javi had been convinced a family of his own would never be in the cards for him, and for as much as it hurt, he’d come to accept it. But when you had come into his life and given him the second chance that he had so desperately longed for, he still couldn’t quite believe how he had deserved to find himself here with a beautiful family, a wife and daughter he loved more than life itself, and how he couldn’t have been happier to be dressing his newborn baby girl into a pair of tiny pink pajamas. 
Checking Lucy’s diaper and tossing her clothes into the hamper, Javi zipped her up into her pajamas, noticing that she was starting to get squirmy and fussy, he quickly picked her back up, pressed against his chest as he made his way over to the rocking chair in the corner of the nursery. 
Despite the steady movement back and forth and the gentle rocking, Lucy’s cries only started to become louder, Javi trying his best to keep calm despite the fact his heart was racing, thinking he had already done something wrong to upset his daughter in the few short minutes they had been together. 
“Hey, hey, hey, shhhhhhh, it’s okay bebita, it’s okay.” Javi cooed, gently patting Lucy’s back to try and soothe her. “What’s wrong, huh? It’s not your diaper, Momma fed you before she got in the shower, I wonder if it’s-” 
Before Javi could finish the rest of his mental checklist outloud, he was looking down at his shoulder to see the little dribbles of spit-up drooling from Lucy’s mouth onto his shirt, quietly laughing to himself at the mystery that had seemed to solve itself. 
“Alright, well that was easy. Let’s get you cleaned up, messy miss.” 
Standing up to bring Lucy back to the changing table, he laid her down to reach into another drawer to grab one of the many burp cloths that had been stored away to wipe up Lucy’s little face before he was back to the pajama drawer, pulling out another pair to change her into. But as he tossed Lucy’s second outfit in 10 minutes into the laundry, he couldn’t help but notice the giant spit stain drenching his own shoulder. Not wanting to have to lay Lucy back into his damp shirt, he stared down at his daughter in nothing but her diaper, thinking back to the advice from the plethora of parenting books he had consumed and a few days ago after Lucy’s birth, where the nurses had been adamant about making sure both you and Javi spent plenty of skin on skin time with the baby. 
Trying to fight off any self-doubt or need for reassurance, Javi took a deep breath as he stared down at Lucy, still restless and crying on her changing table before stripping his own shirt and tossing it in with the other tiny items of laundry that had quickly accumulated throughout the day. 
“Okay, c’mere mi amorcita (my little love), it’s okay, I’ve got you. Shhhhhh, I’ve got you, baby girl.” Javi cooed, carefully cradling his daughter to his bare chest, feeling the heat of her tiny body pressed against his as he sat back down in the rocking chair, resting her head on his shoulder. “Don’t cry, pollita, it’s okay. I’ve got you.” 
After a few seconds of whispered reassurances and gentle rocks back and forth, Javi let out a quiet sigh of relief as Lucy’s cries began to lessen, slowly fading from wails to muffled tears against Javi’s chest. 
“That’s it, see, it’s okay, baby girl.” Javi softly smiled, pressing a tender kiss into Lucy’s soft hair before reaching over to the small bookshelf next to the rocking chair, pulling a well loved copy of “Goodnight Moon” into his lap, trying his best to maneuver it open to the first page with his one free hand. “You never got to meet your Grandma Lucia, but that’s who you’re named after. A long time ago, this was Daddy’s favorite book to listen to her read. This is his book when he was a little boy, and now I’m so happy it gets to be yours.” Almost as if little Lucy knew, her crying began to calm even more to listen to her dad as he began to read. 
“In the great green room, there was a telephone, and a red balloon and a picture of
” 
As Javi began to read each page, Lucy became quieter and quieter, and by the time they had said goodnight to kittens and mittens, and clocks and socks, Little Lucy was sound asleep on Javi’s chest, her soft snores rumbling on his skin. 
“Goodnight stars, goodnight air, goodnight noises everywhere. And goodnight my sweet Lucy Goosey. Daddy loves you so much.” Javi cooed, gently rubbing his thumb in circles along Lucy’s back as he tilted his head against the back of the rocking chair, the back and forth and weight of his sleeping daughter on his chest slowly just enough to the weight of his eyelids droop to a close right along side Lucy’s. 
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After a long, hot, and much needed shower, you had changed into some new pajamas, throwing your still damp hair into a towel as you headed down the hallway towards the nursery, surprised and slightly concerned by the lack of noise coming from the room. 
“Hey baby, I’m all done with the shower if you want me too- Oh my god.” Before you could even make it all the way through the door, you were stopped in your tracks, covering your mouth with your hand to try and cope with the cuteness overload that was in front of you. 
There, in the corner of the room sat Javi and Lucy in the rocking chair, the pair sound asleep and snoring as Lucy lay against his bare chest, “Goodnight Moon”  half open and slipping out of Javi’s lap from what you assumed had to have been the book he was reading to her before they clonked out. 
Your footsteps down the hallway must have been enough to wake Javi to the point that his eyes began to blink open, scrunching his face in a half awake yawn as he recognized your frame in the doorway, quickly shaking his head to bring himself back to full consciousness, immediately looking down at his chest to make sure Lucy was still there before looking back at you and the lovestruck grin spread between your cheeks. 
“You two having a good nap?” You giggled quietly, making your way over to stand next to the rocking chair, gently running your hand through the dark curls of Javi’s messy, sleep ridden hair, kissing his forehead, admiring your tiny daughter perched on your husband’s chest. 
“Fuck, I’m so sorry, hermosa. I didn’t even realize I fell asleep.” Javi whispered, steadying his grip around Lucy as he sat up straighter. 
“Javi, don’t apologize, baby. I’m glad that you were able to get her to sleep for you. Did you read her “Goodnight Moon”? Glad to know it still works like a charm. I think she must already have it memorized at this point.” You smiled, picking the book up off of Javi’s lap, turning through the well worn pages, knowing how excited Javi had been to finally read it to her as he held her, despite all of the times he had read it to your belly while you were pregnant when it was the only ways to bring you some relief from the constant kicking in your last trimester. 
“Yeah we did, didn’t we, sleepy girl? Although I didn’t realize that “Goodnight Dad” was the last page of the book I must have been missing all this time.” Javi laughed, readjusting Lucy as she let out a tiny yawn, stretching her little body against Javi’s. 
“Well, if every time you read “Goodnight Moon” to this little cutie, you end up shirtless with Lucy asleep on your chest, I don’t think that I’ll have anything to ever complain about again, except for the fact I’m gonna die of cuteness. God, you two are so adorable. You have a good time with your Daddy, baby girl? I hope you know that you’ve got him wrapped around your little tiny finger, Little Miss. He loves you so much.” 
“God, you’ve got that right. Have you ever seen anything so perfect? She’s perfect, Osita. I love her more than anything. I love our family so much. Thank you.” Javi whispered, trying to fight back the tears welling in his eyes. 
“Thank me for what, Javi?” 
“For giving me everything I’ve ever wanted.” 
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bomber-grl · 2 months ago
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Taking care of you when you’re sick đŸ€§
Pairing(s): Characters x Gn!sick!Reader (except for Reyna’s)
Character(s): Percy, Annabeth, Grover,Nico, Leo, Frank, Hazel, Jason, Piper, Reyna (platonic)
Me rn:
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Percy Jackson
Honestly great at it and it’s honestly not expected but also sort of expected
Hard to explain
But it’s likely that he just brings you back to the apartment he lives in with sally, Paul, and ofc Estelle because even though he sort of doesn’t want to admit it, he needs help
So (imagining you’re super sick) even if you’re a stubborn one, it’s too embarrassing to act up in front of Sally
Someone who is so caring that she makes soup just for you, checks in on you, gives you extra blankets in case, honestly anything really
This transformed more into a Sally taking care of you than Percy but I’m getting there
One day Sally has to go out for an errand and takes Estelle with her, Paul went off to work or something
Leaving you two alone and you basically a burden/j
Also
 free to complain all you want
Now if you’re stubborn and make it difficult for him he will fr mock you
Literally why are you being this way when Estelle behaves way better
And she’s a baby
Eventually though, cmon now
Just be willing and maybe he’ll kiss you
As if he isn’t doing so while you doze off on your meds
I’d give him a solid 6/10, not because he’s not my fav character or anything
Of course not
Annabeth Chase
Ideal in theory not in practice
She knows everything there is to know- hell, if she didn’t after years of being a demigod and suffering from injuries then strike me down
Well- no actually I take that back
Annabeth doesn’t actually know a lot aside from when she gets sick
Which happens rarely and goes away as quick as it comes
So now she’s here with you all bundled up-
Also, if you try to be stubborn and act like a big baby, she’s having none of it
You will rest and you will eat to consume your meds
End of story
I don’t make the rules 😭
She will, however, be pleased if you’re happy to comply and get you back to good asap
Although she does bumble a bit at the start- she eventually learns quickly
Which is to be expected
When she first started to struggle with what do to she’s too prideful to ask for help so she settles on asking you how to do well by you
Then she realizes how stupid (or unwise) it was to act that way and decides to just ask any of the Apollo kids she knows won’t tease her
Which is more than half
Only because she knew you’d get worse
I’d give her a solid 7/10
It’s not any longer because she gets to business and gets you healed pretty quick so đŸ€·
Grover Underwood
I’d say he’s pretty decent at taking care of you too
I mean he probably knows a lot about herbs and stuff that could help you alongside modern medicine that you’re likely taking
Plus when you can’t sleep for whatever reason (*cough*cough* congestion*cough*) he’ll obviously put that humidifier on but also play you a song
Either to help with sleep or just make you feel better
Really depends
Also we all know he’s a saytr
So he’s likely taking care of you despite needing to be elsewhere
And if that duty calls quickly? He feels SO bad 😭 I’m not even exaggerating
He’ll apologize ten times over and try to make up for it
Instead of getting your sleep and rest it just results in you spending that time reassuring Grover
Which, in your opinion, is a time well spent
But not to Grover
Anyways if you’re reluctant to let him take care of you then he’s constantly hassling you to stay resting
Literally got to the point where campers would just see you running by, and see Grover not too behind
Or it’d be you sitting somewhere and Grover trying to convince you why going back would be a good idea
Now, if you’re more than happy to rest and take your medicine?
Absolute angel in Grover’s eyes
Literally makes his life 10000x easier
Him being him, he just ends up helping you heal and recover faster than you normally would’ve otherwise
So honestly? You can try to be stubborn all you want but it’s only going to make you suffer 😭
Not much for him but that’s because besides his nervous energy, he’s probably the best here in terms of actually helping you become unsick
Nico Di Angelo
He’ll try his best to help you out 😭
Which he does a pretty decent job at, all he does is rely on books and what he’s heard from others
So it’s time for Nico to rawdog helping you out because frankly, he’s always been the opposite of a normal person
So, why would he ever get sick?
(Bluds body temperature is probably colder than the Antarctic)
He does the basics like making you drink medicine for your symptoms (e.g. cough, sore throat) and making you soup to the best of his capabilities
If you’re the type of person to be whiny and like to be cared after then he’d sort of tease you for it in his strange little way
Now, if you’re super stubborn and insist on him not helping you-
He takes it personally
Like I’m not even joking
He’ll just side eye you
You’re acting like you weren’t just dying of suffocation before he put the humidifier on a few seconds ago
And he lets that known
So, he asks why you’re being so stubborn and let him spoon feed you‌
(Only because you ended up being bundled in a blanket burrito and Nico didn’t want to go through putting you in one again afterwards)
Too much hassle
Also applies if you’re being stubborn and he has to forcibly feed you)
He’s honestly getting annoyed at this point so you give him a proposition
You’ll let him take care of you if he gives you cuddles
Now, normally Nico would be so done but he couldn’t resist
So now here you both are underneath the covers
But then Nico ruins it
“Yknow I was gonna cuddle you regardless” (of it you complied or not)
6/10 just for that last comment
(Doing an actual story, will link HERE)
Leo Valdez
Someone please help him
Nah just kidding
Leo is definitely way better with machines than with humans
That’s a fact
But he knew his mom long enough to know the basics of everything
I don’t make the rules, that woman definitely taught him everything there is to know
So here you are on the bed of your room as you hear Leo’s racket going on in the kitchen
Emmie and Jo went out and took a few residents with them, including one of your favorite residents:
Georgina
The ones that stayed behind were either asleep or bundled away under the covers of their beds
(Ignoring those doing chores)
Especially since it was now winter, despite the waystations warmth, a chill seemed to have made it way inside.
Eventually Leo makes his way back up and set down a tray
It had a soup you learned to become familiar with
It was Caldo de Res
So obviously you gobbled that shit up like all the other Mexican foods Leo had made before
Eventually Leo makes you take your medicine because even though he’s all about playing around and stuff, he still likes to care for you
Now, because it’s likely snowing, Leo had to resist and refuse to let you out
You’re already sick, it could get so much worse
But you didn’t listen
Hence you running around like a maniac outside the station yelling as Leo chases you
Afterwards he scolds you but when you point out that fact that he was laughing when he was chasing after you- he shuts up real quick
Leo does realize how boring it probably is for you though so after going back inside he tries to be a source of entertainment for you
He tries to find board games and he luckily does
Which ends with you two moving to the living room (?) or common area
By the time emmie and the other residents return, the tower you built while playing Jenga was sky high and skinny asf
Then Leo crashed it and you both obviously yelled at it
Then Leo got told off for distracting you from resting (although it was done kindly)
Later after dinner, Leo snuck into your room at night and once again began to try to rid you of your boredom
you two began giggling and gossiping in the middle of the night
Then went to bed when someone knocked as kindly asked for you two to quiet down
Leo was embarrassed 💀
Frank Zhang
Surprisingly good at taking care of you
Only saying it’s surprising because I’ve never considered it before
He obviously takes care of your basic needs like meds and just covers you needing anything else like rest or water
If you’re stubborn to actually try to get better- then he’s definitely worried but also confused
Why are you acting this way and also, please just let him help you
Which is honestly sad because even if he’d like to stay by your side for more than a few hours- he really isn’t able to due to praetor duties
I mean it’s a surprise you got a pass on your chores/ duties depending on what your role is
Will definitely feel terrible for having to leave to go do his job but eventually finds someone trusted to look after you
Likely someone indebted to him
(He’d feel a bit sorry for whoever it is if you’re particularly resistful)
Let’s say you actually get sick and there’s no outside forces that can interfere
Frank is a pretty top notch- although a bit anxious - doctor
Likely learned a lot about the healing aspect of Apollo back when being his kid was what Frank wanted most
So he knows a lot from that and is really attentive
After giving you some medicine you had seemingly been knocked out cold so it was natural for Frank to turn down the lights
Before he left the room he decided to give you a kiss on the cheek
You were actually still awake and despite your boyfriends more than accommodating care-
You will be teasing him tomorrow using this instance
Overall I’d give Frank a 9/10
‘He is the worlds most perfect man’
Hazel Levesque
Have you seen her lead the other Roman’s as praetor and even before then ? Yea she’s getting you bundled up and fed
No ifs or buts
This is how she is overall but if you try being stubborn she genuinely doesn’t see why you would be
Like why wouldn’t you want to get better??
Also please don’t sneak out to the weaponry or something because she literally CANT give you special treatment 😭
Despite her seemingly tough demeanor, she really is a fool for you
Not actually- but miss girl is smitten with you
So she sort of takes it easy, occasionally finding her voice and scolding you as lightly as she can
She tries her best to treat you but eventually gets advice and help from others in camp who know more than she does
She ofc knows the basics: consume vitamin c, rest, drink medicine, etc
But she can’t be too sure
I also honestly think she’s way better than Nico, because I didn’t include it but he definitely got some wayward damned spirit to help him out
But not her
Not that that’s bad, but she’s definitely more capable
I do think she bumbled a bit
She had ordered some other campers who specialized in healing to help her out
Before then, she had been taking care of you herself
So when they get there and see her sort of make shift stuff- she’s a bit embarrassed
Yknow, if the blush on her cheeks are anything to go by
Because we’ve already established that she’s better than Nico, I’ll give her a 8/10
Because she’s really good at taking care of you, really caring overall
But đŸ€·
Jason Grace
Best way to say how he is at taking care of you is mediocre
He isn’t constantly attentive but just the right amount that you feel like it’s enough
Esprit he’s busy with the school he’s attending- then he’ll have to sneak out just to see you and take care of you
If school isn’t in session then he’s more than happy to go over and take care of things for you
Like doing chores, cooking food and actually taking care of you
Doesn’t mind all that much if you try to resist being treated because it’s likely that he’s encountered people who are WAY worse
Ik this is him supposed to be taking care of you but I think it’d be so funny that you’re just constantly in and out of consciousness that you only remember small snippets
In which Jason has to fill in for you and all you remember is Jason in the distance
Pretty out of place but the idea of it is so funny to me 😭
Imagine being so kind and your s/o not remembering any of it
You’d still believe him though, why should you?
Also I said it’s mid but like mid leaning good so I’ll give him a 6/10
Not that he was terrible or anything but just because I feel like it suits him
Idk 😭
Piper Mcclean
THE BEST IM NOT EXAGGERATING
The medicine- eating- cooking part is alright
It isn’t much different from the others averages and not much to take note of in all honesty
But what is really the cherry on top is when after having a mind splitting headache- you’ve finally managed to fall asleep
Being a demigod and all- you immediately hear when Piper enters the room
Each creak the floor board gives continued until Piper has reached the end of the bed
Not that it’s disturbing you in anyway
So there you are snuggled in bed and you feel a weight added next to you where the bed is pushing down
You feel hands massaging your scalp and Piper -knowing how you’ve suffered with head pain- starts to sing for you
It isn’t unknown or unheard of to sing for someone to heal (demigod or non demigod wise)
So when you immediately start to feel better you can feel your would ascending into the heavens
Not actually- because that’d be the opposite affect of the singing but you get what I’m going for
Anyway aside from that she’s really attentive and sweet but I just had that idea come to me strongly idk why
Overall id rate her a 7/10
That’s because her singing is divine but her caring aspect is mediocre
Reyna RamĂ­rez-Arellano x F!Reader (for the first half)
(Ex: realized hunters of Artemis don’t get sick after finishing toa)
Literally legendary at taking care of you
Although she is a bit of a dictator when it comes to you being slippery and running off- it’s still pretty great
She was praetor for how long now? Yea a while so she was bound to have learned some things and after joing the hunters it’s only more reason to
Which if you’re a hunter and sick (only confusing but let’s go with it) you need to get your health back up to be in optimal fighting condition so theres literally no room for being stubborn
You need to get well soon and that’s an order basically
So Reyna will bundle you up, (though seeing as you’re more than happy to be cooperative) its only done to make you warm
(Gn! Reader but still platonic)
Now if this is while Reyna is praetor then she’s still enforced this strict persona
And seeing as she’s here taking care of you-
That’s only more reason to
Unfortunately she won’t really have time (seeing that being praetor is really unsustainable long term with the loss of sleep and sleep schedule changes)
But when she does her presence is soothing and likely the only reason you were able to actually get well pretty fast
I don’t have much besides she knows what she’s doing (likely has gotten stupid colds form stress) and is really serious about it
Would give her a 9.5/10 but I’ll change it to a 10/10 because of how fast you recover
-
A/n: req was originally only asking for Nico but I said why not do the other 9
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thebestandrealestever · 1 year ago
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~ e!42 miles hcs bc i’m going crazy rn .~
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black reader, mostly gn expect for two fem directed one warnings: n word, cursing, implied sexual content but not suggestive
u can’t tell me he don’t blowing u up when you forget the inside outside rule. “why are u on the outside of me?” he said while grabbing your arm and practically throwing u to the other side of him. “it will never ever be that serious please miles.” “it ain’t gon be that serious when u get hit by a car huh?” “we’re in a neighborhood 😭?!?”
he acts like he hates it when you make him do tiktok’s with you but he b rly getting into it . “damn nigga! u doing the dance better than me wtf” “that’s js cause u suck at everything ever.”
scares you in his prowler suit and think it’s the funniest thing in the world. “Boo.” miles said with his voice distorter turned on standing above you, waking u out of your sleep with a yell. “WTF IS WRONG W U??” he cackled for deadass 10 minutes. “u mr fucking funny guy now huh?” “yep, start locking your window.”
if u guys ever broke up, trust this nigga won’t leave you alone. with a big sigh as you see miles come in through the window “miles. why are you still coming in room. i told u it’s over” “lol anyways how was school today?”
has your period tracker on his phone đŸ€žđŸœ
u both are insanely in sync, every time you’re sitting next to eachother and someone says sum to y’all you both look at the same time
once you had a pregnancy scare, this nigga started ordering cribs and diapers 😭
u NEVER have to pay for anything by yourself, he be lowk getting upset when u buy urself something
thinks he’s the rizzler because his “hey” he learned from uncle aaron worked on u but really you had liked him for a while already
the only time he post on his story is when he’s posting you, he don’t really be on social media like that.
said something HEINOUS to you in spanish thinking u didn’t know what he was talking about but you asked rio and he got grounded for a month 😭
when you first said you loved him, after he got home he was kicking his feet twirling his little braids fr.
short this is short but i’m going CRAZY
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consistencynevermether · 1 year ago
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Ice cold: Astarion x reader
content: ascended Astarion x gn tav, angst, tav is goin through it in this one yall, i give karlach a more hopeful ending in the background bc i just want her to be happy, karlach and tav besties agenda, sfw, cannon typical violence
summary: after breaking it off with ascended Astarion, you meet again at a winter ball
word count: 6k (apparently i cant shut up about this man)
a/n: man i gotta write more happy Astarion content fr i keep putting this man in situations.
How many years had it been since you’d seen Astarion? 3? 5? Maybe more? You try to remember what your last moments with him were like before you decided to break things off. It was definitely after he ascended, but was it before you had gotten rid of the tadpole, or after? Honestly, after a while things had started to blur together really. After so many years, only the painful parts remained clear in your memory. How you, with tears in your eyes, had told him you couldn’t do this anymore. And the look of condescending and uncaring as he stared back. It had shattered you into a million pieces to end things with Astarion, but it would have hurt even more if you had stayed. Whoever he had become after he ascended, it wasn’t your astarion, not really.
Why were you reminiscing about your lost love? Well because after all these years apart, he was now standing about 5 feet away from you. Gods above how did you get yourself in this situation?
Let’s start a few years back after Astarion had left to be the new lord of Baldur’s Gate and you had stayed, shattered. Having to pick up the broken pieces of what you once were, having to figure out who you would be without him. You probably should have taken some time alone, now that you think about it. Processed your emotions, talked to a professional, properly mourned what you had lost before continuing on.
Of course, you had done the opposite and instead had decided to travel with Karlach and Wyll to Avernus. Going to hell is probably not the best way to cope with a breakup, but that was the only option anyone could think of to try and save Karlach from the fate of the engine in her chest. And after what had happened to Astarion you just-
You just couldn’t 
You couldn’t lose someone else, if you did, you felt like you would have been shattered past the point of repair. You couldn’t take losing one of your only friends right after losing your love. So you gathered up the broken pieces of yourself and headed straight into the hells. 
You were down there for a few years probably. 
Maybe? 
Honestly, you didn’t remember. Time became sluggish and foggy after Astarion had left because it kept marching forward, away from your time together with him.
Yet in the end, Karlach had gotten her engine fixed and all 3 of you had climbed out of hell. A few more burn marks and scars, but nothing more than that had changed. Physically at least.
You had somehow managed to put your broken pieces back together, but you weren’t the same as before. You didn’t feel complete, more like a jumble of razor-sharp shards being forcefully welded together trying to imitate what you once were. But now you were jagged, and cracked, and tired
Gods, you were tired. The dark circles under your eyes never left, no matter how much you slept. Or tried to sleep that is.
Sometimes in the dead of night, you would replay Astarion's ascendance in your mind over and over again, wondering what you could have done differently then. Or even before. Where had you gone wrong? Was there another outcome that you failed to make happen? Was there another reality where the two of you were happy together? Gods how that thought hurt. 
 Sometimes, you thought about the what-ifs. You imagined what would have happened if he hadn’t chosen to ascend. What both of you could have been. What you so desperately wanted but could never reach. Eventually, you stopped that line of thought at night. It was too crushing to imagine how things could have been different. What you could have done differently. 
After emerging from hell, you had on and off traveled with some of your previous party. 
You and Wyll had headed to Waterdeep once to help Gale with a sea monster problem 
In an amusing team-up, you had helped Halsin and Lazel find an enchanted bracelet they were both searching for, though they both argued on how to act upon most things during that entire adventure, so you had felt almost like it was a babysitting gig the entire trip. 
There was also that time you helped Minsc dispose of some bandits robbing people near Baldur's gate, but you had dealt with that sorry lot fairly quickly and got far away from Baldur's Gate even quicker. You didn’t want to accidentally run into a certain lord. 
And now you had an entirely new quest, in the bitter cold land of Sossal. A few weeks ago, you met back up with Karlach who apparently had been looking for you.
It’s not that you disliked seeing Karlach at all, in fact, you were both very close, which was part of the problem really. Part of why it stung a little to see her. 
She saw you. She saw how much you hurt even after all this time. Your other friends seemed to have assumed that you had gotten better. That over time you had healed and it had gotten easier for you to come to terms with leaving Astarion. But Karlach knew the truth, She saw right through you, and it was mortifying. That every day the hole inside your heart had just got wider. She feared it would swallow you up one day, and you didn’t blame her. It didn’t help that being around her just made you feel so
Pathetic. 
She had been to literal Hell and back and could still smile and laugh, while you had only lost one person and had cracked and splintered like glass. It hurt to see the light that shined off her while you could only fall deeper into darkness. 
Of course, you knew none of that was her fault, you only had yourself to blame for who you were, so when she came asking for help, you didn’t hesitate to say yes. 
She was having engine troubles again. It wasn’t as bad as before, thank the gods, but it did have a tendency to overheat ever so slightly whenever she felt a strong emotion, and if you didn’t do something one wrong spook could set her ablaze. Luckily she had gone to Gale first and discovered a gem Called the frostbite tear. He could attune the gem to Karlach and make it so that every time her engine began to overheat, the jewel would immediately cool it down, negating the problem before it became a real issue like when you had first met her. Last anyone had heard of the gem it was with some noble in Sossal. 
So here you were. You, Karlach, Shadowheart, and Gale all together at the midwinters ball held here in the capital. Gale had procured the invites for you all, and every noble in Sossal, plus some from other territories, would be here for this celebration. Gale had even been nice enough to give you a beautiful outfit for the ball, made of silvery-white sparking silk. It reminded you of fresh snowfall on a winter's night. Admittedly it wasn’t very practical, and Gale did make you shower before putting it on. (Rude. You didn’t think you smelled t h a t bad.)
You were so focused on helping find this noble (and robbing him of the frostbite tear) that you hadn’t even considered Astarion might be here. 
Not up until the moment that his vibrant red eyes locked onto yours across the room. 
You couldn’t move. Everything was moving too fast and also in slow motion. Your legs felt like lead and your mouth was bone dry. The numbness that had settled in your chest for years now cracked open with new pain, and you weren’t sure which of the sensations you hated more. 
All all this panic and emotions, and yet in your mind all you could think of was how he looked just the same as the day you left. He hadn’t changed. And that made it all the harder. Because now it was easier to forget all the years between you two. He still looked the same as what you saw when you closed your eyes each night. It was Astarion. But on closer examination, not your Astarion. 
There was a coldness to him now. A certain reservation in his smile that made you feel like you would be a mere annoyance to him if you dared to approach. He seemed sharper somehow as well, like a finely honed blade. And his attire was extravagantly beautiful, the white fur-lined cloak he was wearing was probably more expensive than anything you had ever owned, including your current attire. 
You were so busy taking this all in mentally that when you went to glance at him again he was gone. For a split second, you genuinely wondered if you had finally snapped and just hallucinated all of that when an all too familiar hand took yours. 
You hadn't looked away for more than a second and astarion was right there in front of you, kissing your knuckles. The brush of his lips on your skin was nearly enough to bring you to your knees. All these years, and he still had so much power over you with one little motion.
To any outsider, this looked like quite the cute interaction really. The handsome new lord of Baldur's gate spots an incomparable beauty from across the room and is instantly smitten, so he effortlessly woes them the second he steps into the ballroom. But life is no romantic play. 
“Hello darling, it certainly has been a while. We simply must catch up” 
Before you could even attempt to respond, his hands were around your waist, guiding you to the dancefloor as the orchestra began to play, and other couples began to join the dancefloor as well. 
You’d hoped maybe the dance would save you from the conversation, but it seemed the opposite was what occurred, as Astarion leaned closer to your ear to whisper, “So, 7 years without a trace, and suddenly you show up looking positively exquisite. Do tell me what you’ve been up to.” 
Your mouth opens to respond, but you realize you have no idea what to say. What could you possibly say to him, and why would you even say it? 
Luckily you were spared any more torture when you noticed Astarion staring intently at your neck. The sight reminded you of that night you found out he was a vampire spawn, and you had let him drink from you for the first time. But instead of hunger Astarions brown was furrowed with another emotion. Annoyance? Concern? Worry? You couldn’t tell anymore. It had been years since you could tell what Astarion was thinking
His voice broke the silence once again. 
“Is this new?” His long pale fingers brushed across the burn scar near your collarbone.
Ah. So that’s what he was staring at. 
“Well it’s been there a few years, so I wouldn’t really consider it new but-“ you shrug at the end of your sentence, and you both know what you meant. It was only new to him. He may have stayed unchanged all these years, but you certainly hadn’t. And it seemed Astarion was beginning to notice. 
His eyes raked over you, taking in the changes. You were a bit more muscular now, all that constant fighting no doubt. Your new(er) scars were more visible in this outfit, which admittedly was a little revealing and definitely not meant to withstand the harsh outside winter. And the years now showed in the tired look in your eyes. You imagine that your eyes aged you quite a bit honestly, maybe you should be shocked he even recognized you now. 
“So”, he started, decidedly keeping his hand firmly around your waist so you couldn’t run from the conversation, “when you made my undead heart beat again only to toss it on the ground at my feet again like it was nothing all those years ago, I always imagined how nice it would feel to see you struggle while I thrived as lord of Baldur's Gate.” 
Wow. Impressively bad flirting. Had he gotten worse at this over the years? Or maybe he just detested you so much he didn’t even think there was a point in even pretending to like you anymore. 
“But now that I’m actually here and you look-“
He gestured at you vaguely 
“Well a bit like you’d been the one who got dumped, it doesn’t feel very satisfying.” 
“Mhm,” you responded, in a stroke of pure poetry. 
“Darling, you have to give me more than that. The silent treatment after all this time is just petty, even for me.”
He had a point. And part of you did want to know-
“How have you been, Astarion?” 
His steps faltered a little when you said his name, but he quickly recovered, smoothly continuing the dance 
He smirked, his fangs visible on one side “Well certainly better than you if I had to wager, the stuff under my eyes is eyeliner, not sleep deprivation side effects.”
You close the distance between you two involuntarily to get a closer look at his face. He was wearing some sort of golden liquid as eyeliner on his bottom lids. It was subtle but beautiful, and it shined when the light hit his face just right. On instinct, you began to reach towards his face, but you quickly stopped yourself. You needed to stay focused, damnit. You were here to help Karlach.
Astarion's smooth voice cut in once again. “Still making me do all the talking? Honestly, I don’t ever remember you being this quiet before.” 
You startled and realized you had been staring at his face for a while, and then trying to snap yourself out of it, all while not making a sound
Gods you don’t remember it being this hard to talk to him. But then again, you found it harder to talk to anyone these days. you just-
You just didn’t expect that to also apply to Astarion. Further proof that despite him looking the same, there was distance now. A silent gaping chasm that you had no way to cross. But that is what you wanted, wasn't it? To get away from this Astarion. The one who considered you a pet, or an object to be displayed. Treasured, and loved, but never his equal. Never fully having free will, everything you would have done would have had to be something he approved of. 
You loved him, more than anything. You still did. Deep down you knew you would die for this twisted version of your love, and if he asked you to rip out your own heart and serve it to him, you would. But you couldn’t be with him. Everything else you would do for him, but that was where you drew the line. It hurt too much, to be reminded every day of what you had lost. Of what you have failed to protect. That sweet high elf with a silver tongue and a heart of gold he let so few see. The one who wished for freedom more than anything, but still stuck by your side. Because at some point, he wanted to be free with you. And that was not this Astarion. 
Despite all that, just for this moment, you wanted to forget it all. To be held in his arms once again. Maybe, if the gods blessed you, see a real smile of his. You just wanted this one moment. Then your greedy heart would be satisfied. You could burn this image of the two of you dancing forever in your mind and have it sustain you. You’d gladly take another trip to the hells if it meant just a moment where you could pretend you were with your astarion. The one that lived on in your memories. Though you didn’t dare hope that he was still in there somewhere, you don’t think your heart could take it. 
You inhale deeply and begin to talk. You tell him about the quests you’ve been on, the adventures you’ve had, what you’ve been up to these past years. Including why you were here, and your quest to help Karlach and find the frostbite tear.
Eventually, you get to the point where you tell him why you're here, and what you're looking for. But as you do you see a scowl twist on his face. 
“Astarion?” You question, “What’s bothering you?”
He huffs in reply, and you can’t help but smirk. 
“I’m sorry but I do remember someone just talking about how petty the silent treatment is.” You prod, and lock eyes, a sign for him to tell you what’s on his mind
He rolls his eyes at your persistence, but nonetheless, he begins to speak. 
“Hm. Just seems like you and Karlach are so very happy together. A bit of a downgrade if you ask me, but that’s certainly no fault of hers. I mean, once you’ve had me, all you can do is go down from there.” 
“Karlach and I aren’t dating.” You deadpan. 
She was more like a sister to you than anything, and besides you’re pretty sure she already has eyes for someone. 
“Oh?” Astarions eyebrow raises. “So who have you been shagging all these years then? Wyll? Shadowheart? Surely not Gale. Oh please tell me it’s not Gale, I think that might actually hurt my feelings a little if we both shared being to your tastes.” 
“Be nice. Gales is a good friend. FRIEND. They all are. And to answer your prying question, I’m not with anyone. Not since you.” 
It was true. You hadn’t loved anyone since astarion. It just didn’t feel right. Even the idea of a casual fling didn’t feel at all satisfying. And there was no way you would actually consider dating someone again. Not when Astarion still held your heart. 
You could see a few emotions go across Astarion’s face, but you couldn’t recognize them. You remember when you used to be able to know what he was thinking, when he was lying or not. But not anymore. Maybe it was because he was always putting on some act now. 
As you stared, his hand wrapped around your waist and for a breathless moment, he effortlessly lifted you up into the air, gently twirling you around him. then he put you down and smoothly continued the dance as if that was always part of the steps. 
Your face flushed at the amount of contact, and the smirk once again graced Astarion’s lips.
“So, nobody since me? Seems like someone’s not quite over the Lord of Baldur’s Gate.” He singsonged, taking great pleasure in how momentarily flustered you were. “It's ok if you're not over me darling, I can’t blame you.” 
Clearly, he meant this as a joke, one you were supposed to roll your eyes at and ignore. But there was no point in lying, so you just nodded and continued the steps of the dance. 
Astarion stopped dead in his tracks. 
“I-
Wait what? You're still-
Ah- 
You're not over me?” 
“Astarion, the song isn’t over.” You tried to nudge him back into the dance, but his feet were planted firmly, and he wasn’t going to budge. 
“Answer me.” 
You sigh. He wasn’t going to move. So now you were just standing here. In the middle of a ballroom. With everyone else dancing around you. Great. This was super inconspicuous and undercover. 
“I will only continue to talk if you move your damn feet Astarion. Hells I’m supposed to be blending in not standing out.” You hiss and kick at the side of his shoes to indicate for him to get moving.
He recognizes the determination in your eyes and you can see him deciding mentally that he’ll probably get his answer sooner if he does as you ask, so he picks up the dance once again. His grip on your waist is now like iron though, not painful in any way, but there’s absolutely no way you could get out of his grasp now. Not even if you put all your efforts into trying. 
His eyes never left yours, his intense stare practically commanding you to talk.
Which you did say you would do. 
“I still love you.” You shrug. “Never stopped loving you.”
“Then why did you leave?” The hurt in his voice is evident, and you immediately feel like someone hurled a spear of ice directly into your chest. 
You can barely raise your voice above a whisper without it cracking. “You know why. I already told you when I left.” 
“Bullshit. Because you loved the person that I was? He was pathetic. Only a fool would want the lesser version.” His voice was like ice, you could feel the hatred he held for himself.
And you instantly felt your anger flare up at his words.
“Don’t you ever talk about-
About him like that”
It felt weird referring to past Astarion as someone else. But it was true. They were two completely different people now. And honestly, you didn’t care about the semantics, your blood was practically boiling. 
“He was the love of my life. He was everything to me. So don’t you dare insult him.” You spat, practically seeing red
Astarion's face twisted in rage. 
“Maybe you liked me pathetic, hm? Maybe the only way you could possibly love me was if I was beneath you. A precious pet spawn, entirely dependent on you, living in your shadow to protect me from the sun that I now bask in.” He sneered, meeting your rage with his own.
And just like that, you had shattered all over again. 
It was your turn to stop dancing now, unmoving in the sea of swaying nobles. 
Astarion's rage seemed to have flickered out seeing the look on your face.
What did your face look like? Were you shocked? Were you crying? Somewhere in the back of your mind, you could register the feeling of hot tears down your cheeks, but you paid it no heed. 
Instead, you wrapped your arms around Astarion, putting your face in the crook of his neck. 
Astarion completely froze at the sudden contact, not even taking a breath. Although he probably didn’t need to actually breathe anyways so maybe that was normal.
“I’m sorry. If-
-If you truly believe that I ever thought that way about you, then I messed up beyond repair. I'm so sorry.” 
You tried to continue, to apologize for all the times you had failed him. For making him feel like that. But you realized you couldn’t speak. Your body was silently heaving with sobs, tears flowing down your face and ruining Astarion's nice clothing.
Great. You couldn’t even cry without screwing him over. And this was definitely not inconspicuous. 
You lifted your head, making a move to step away, but as you did you saw a blue glint on one of the lapels of some well-dressed lord.
Holy shit.
The frostbite tear. You had found it. And all it took was sobbing on your ex to spot the damn thing. That didn’t make you feel pathetic at all. Though admittedly this was the perfect distraction from this soul-crushing conversation. Maybe with any luck you wouldn’t even have to address that embarrassing display that no doubt disgusted astarion, he was probably hoping you’d get the hell off him already.
So you did just that, jerking back from the hug and keeping your eyes glued on the gem. 
“Astarion look. It’s the frostbite tear. On that lord.”
But you could tell Astarion’s eyes were firmly glued to your face. 
You tried to slip away, to follow the frostbite tears owner and relieve him from its ownership, whether that be by swiping it, lying, or just straight up threatening the guy. But Astarion held you firmly in place. 
“What are you doing?” You whispered, to not startle your target. “He’s right there. Let go.”
“You can’t just drop that on me and leave” he whisper-yelled back 
“I’m not leaving, I’m just grabbing something real quick. Now let go, it’ll take 5 minutes tops.”
“What if you decide you don’t wanna talk again and run off?” He countered 
“Then you can corner me because you're the vampire ascendant.” 
“What if he catches you and you get arrested?”
“Then you can visit me in jail because you're the vampire ascendant.” 
“What if-“
Oh for fucks sake. 
“Whatever happens, I assure you, you will be able to say whatever you want to me after because you are the vampire ascendant. You made that fact very clear to me when we were together. Now let go.” You cut him off, and then try once again to move towards the target. But his grip remained firm 
You look up at him, now filled with annoyance and desperation. The noble could escape if you didn’t do something now, and yet Astarion seemed insistent on trapping you. 
“Just one more dance, alright?” He bargained.
Unbelievable. That was his priority? You knew it had been a while but you never expected him to disregard a former ally so blatantly. Karlach needed this. 
But upon closer inspection, he almost looked
 a little guilty? Worried maybe? That didn’t seem right. What on earth?
Just then, Astarion pushed your face into his chest, wrapping his arms around you, almost protective. Protective but restrictive. You couldn’t move away no matter how much you pushed on his chest or tried to slip out of his hold. 
“Astarion. Let. Go.” You hissed.
But your attempts at breaking free immediately stopped when you heard an ear-piercing screech and the sound of heavy footsteps. 
On instinct, you reached for where your weapon would normally be, but you had nothing on you. Shadowheart had a few small weapons concealed on her in case things got messy, considering her attire was a bit more conservative than yours, but she wasn’t anywhere near you now. 
Damnit. On instinct, you tried to twist around in Astarion's grasp to a more protective stance. Of course, you knew he didn’t need your protection at all, it was just a base instinct kicking in. Unfortunately, he didn’t allow you to move out of his grasp, so all you could do was squirm. 
“What is wrong with you??” You practically shouted. If there was danger, then just standing here like this would leave you both wide open. Had he lost all common sense? 
Unless- 
At that exact point, a guard of the lord of Sossal burst through the doors, covered in blood. 
“Vampire spawn are attacking the gates!” She exclaimed, cradling her arm, which was profusely bleeding. 
“I didn’t know you would be here.” He murmurs, almost as if he’s telling this to himself more than you. 
He wasn’t trying to keep you here, you realize. He was protecting you. None of the spawn would dare come near you if they saw Astarion holding you like this. 
But at this moment you didn’t care. For years you had mourned over the loss of your Astarion. You had tried so hard, attempting to separate him from this ascended Astarion. But you had never been truly able to get over him, to accept he was gone. Because deep, deep down, no matter what you told yourself, you still believed he was in there somewhere. Behind all the silks and sharp gazes.
And you felt that hope die as you heard the hissing of the dozens of spawn outside, mingled with the screams and cries of the guards. He was gone. And your heart was shattered all over again. 
But it was different this time. Before, you had pulled yourself together again, deformed and jagged, but still together. You couldn’t do that this time. There was no coming back from this. You could feel it. This pain wouldn’t fade. But there was something else there that wasn’t there before. Anger.
Astarion was protecting you, yes, but Gale, Shadowheart, and Karlach were here too. If the spawn got into the ballroom, they would be in danger. Not to mention this made procuring the frostbite tear infinitely more difficult. 
Rage burned in your eyes, and for the first time, you saw the great vampire ascendant stumble over his words a little, as he tried to explain something about how the lord of Sossal had insulted him, but you weren’t listening. 
While Astarion was struggling to explain himself, you realized he wasn’t paying as much attention to you. Good.
In one swift movement, you slipped out of his grasp and frantically looked around, searching for your friends. It was nearly impossible to hear anything over the screaming and panic of the nobles. It also wasn’t helping that Astarion was probably going to be right on your heels the second he recovered. Or maybe he’d just leave you to be eaten by his spawn. You didn’t really care. 
After continuing to weave your way past frantic nobles and shouting their names, you were able to see a red hand waving you down from the far left balcony. It was Karlach, and she was with Gale and Shadowheart. Good. With all 3 of them together any spawn that came after them would be screwed. But you still had a mission to complete.
You looked up at Shadowheart and held your hand out for a weapon. You were going to track down that damn gem if it killed you. That noble was about to have a very bad day. Well. A worse day. 
You were focusing all your hurt onto this, all your rage. But you needed to. You needed it because you had no idea what else you could do now. You needed something to focus on. Something to distract you from your shattered heart. 
Shadowheart saw your determination and tossed a short sword down to you. Not your preferred weapon of choice, but it would do.
You whipped around, hand around the short sword at the ready, but also because it felt grounding, to be fighting once again. Now it was time to hunt down your prey.
You quickly ran in the direction you’d last seen, glancing over every lapel for that glowing blue light. It was hard, many of the nobles were dressed in a winter theme, so shades of white, silver, and blue were all too common in the sea of panic. 
You continued to push past nobles, searching for that faint blue glow. You refused to let this go, you would not let Karlach down. You fought for too many years in hell getting the engine in her repaired to go all the way back to square one again. 
You feel yourself tunnel vision on finding a blue light, your head whipping back and forth on the hunt, it felt good to let everything else fade away into numbness as your only thought is tracking down this gem.
A glimmer out of the corner of your eye. A flash of blue. The shine of fine silk. There he was. In a crowd of panicked nobles trying to run into other parts of the castle and hide from Astarion's horde gathering outside. Honestly, it was a pretty understandable reaction, you didn't blame him for running at all, but you needed that gem. You hope he survived honestly.
Survived.
Because Astarion planned to turn this place into a bloodbath. Your Astarion. The one who you had sat under the stars with, and he would teach you all the constellations whose names you didn't know, his silky voice lulling you to sleep when insomnia or worry had hit you. 
You'd rather still be in the hells honestly. 
You took a deep breath, centering yourself back to the present. Get the gem. 
You dashed after the noble, drawing your shortsword and charging at the man. If possible, you'd do this quickly.
Ducking under the other guests, you grab this unfortunate noble by the collar, the moment you do he screeches, clearly fearing the worst. Luckily for him, you were only after his gem, not his blood. With one slice you cut the gem off the cloak, shredding the beautiful white fabric. 
Not even bothering to explain yourself to him, you pocket your prize and turn on your heel, heading back in your friend's direction, when all of a sudden you hear the noble you had just stolen from scream again. But this time it was followed by the screams of a few others 
You look back and that’s when you see her. A vampire spawn. Clearly on her way to the ballroom, but judging by her smile, it was clear she had just found some horderves. 
You could have run. You were the only person with a weapon and the farthest away from her. She definitely wouldn’t pick you as her first target, she’d go for one of the defenseless nobles right next to her. You should have met up with the others and gotten the hells out of this place.
But the noble whose lapel you had just torn apart was so young. They were people. Scared people who got unlucky and were about to die because someone had offended the great vampire ascendant. Maybe you wanted to save them. But more likely, you just wanted something to take your anger out on. Or maybe you were just dumb as a rock.
But regardless you turned around and began to sprint towards the spawn instead of away, angling your weapon so that you would have the perfect angle to go for her collarbone. 
Yet as soon as you locked her on as a target, her eyes went wide with..fear? She was a vampire spawn, surely she’d had a few of her victims fight back yes? Was this her first hunt? 
Soon you realized that wasn’t the case at all as you felt a chill run down your spine. Even now with all his power, it wasn’t hard for you to identify the presence now standing menacingly right behind you. The familiar smell of bergamot filled your senses with the closeness. You could feel his chest pressed against your back. You didn’t know what kind of face Astarion was making right now, but whatever it was, it terrified the vampire spawn, her form now shaking and cowering before her master. 
Funny. Even now after everything, you couldn’t find astarion scary. You probably should, considering how he just appeared behind you. But after everything you still couldn’t. 
There was no point in delaying this any further. You turn around, and as you do his eyes immediately move from the spawn back to you. And his gaze softened. Before this whole ordeal that single action probably would have caused you to melt. But now it was different. You had already resigned yourself to being without him. You couldn’t turn back time. You couldn’t save him. All you could do now was try and find a way forward. And you certainly wouldn’t find that staring into his crimson eyes. 
This felt awful. You felt awful. Walking away from him now didn’t feel like closure, it felt like someone had just stopped writing on the page mid-sentence. But you had to stop. Just stop. You couldn’t spend the rest of your life like this, mourning what you lost. Astarion would have an eternity to forget about you, but you only had this one life. And for the first time in a long time, you finally felt like you wanted to move forward with your life. To start living again. You were still mad. And upset. And it still hurt. But you wanted to get better. 
So you turned around, not looking at Astarion, and left. Walked right past him without saying a word. You didn’t know what he would do. Let you leave and forget you ever existed? Grab your arm and try to talk again? Decide he had had enough and just drain you dry? You honestly had no idea anymore. But you knew one thing.
You wouldn’t be the one to look back.
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sughuru · 1 year ago
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curses, its so bitter.
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- geto suguru x reader
The burden of consuming curses takes an emotional toll on Suguru, elevated by the recent loss of Amanai Riko. As Suguru retreats into his own silent struggles, the caring intervention of their partner becomes a source of warmth and healing.
genres/warnings: angsty, fluffy, hurt/comfort, minor character death, spoilers for JJK season 2(?)
notes: got an exam tomorrow but i'm writing this instead 😭 anyways, enjoy!! i'm going to sleep now, gn (nah i'm going to study fr wml!) as always, english isn't my first language, so ignore the grammatical errors, sorry!
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Exorcise. Absorb. No one else understands what cursed spirits taste like. It's like swallowing a dirty rag that’s been used to clean up shit and vomit. Geto Suguru believed that no one in this world understood what he was going through; maybe he’s right. After all, it's rare for a curse user to actually like the taste of it.
You knocked on his bedroom door, “Suguru?” your voice laced with a hint of worry. 
Suguru remained silent, his form unmoving on the bed as he replayed the details of the earlier mission in his mind. The echoes of the mission played relentlessly in his mind, each moment etched with the bitter taste of failure. The weight of regret pressed upon him as he struggled with accepting the harsh truth – he couldn't save her. Amanai Riko; the girl had dreams, and Suguru couldn't forgive himself for failing to shield her from her doom. 
You quietly entered the room out of concern for your boyfriend, “babe.”
You approached his lying figure, “you haven’t eaten all day
” you worriedly muttered, your hands reached out to touch his shoulder but he quickly turned around, his back was now facing you.
“Not hungry.” he replied briefly, you noticed the slight crack in his voice.
While you may have not been a curse user but you were well aware of his habits. Whenever Suguru ate a curse, the lingering taste of the curse would hinder him from eating actual food. Combining that and the death of Amanai Riko, he wallowed in grief and sadness with an empty stomach.
Of course, as the loving significant other you are, you refused to let your boyfriend starve or struggle for another minute.
“Don’t be like that
” You sighed, touching his back. This time, he didn’t flinch or move away. That’s good.
You gave yourself some time to think, “how about tea? I can make some tea for you right now.” 
Suguru hummed, not having the energy to respond to you. Honestly, he felt bad for ignoring you like this. All he wants to do right now is pull you close to him and mutter apologies for being so
so emotional right now, but he doesn’t have the energy to do so.
You left the room and once again, Suguru was left alone in the room with his thoughts.
Was he being too harsh on you? Will you leave him because he’s treating you like shit right now? Is it wrong of him to be pushing you away like this?
So many questions yet none of them had a concrete answer.
You returned with a cup of tea in one hand, some leftover cookies you baked from trying out a new recipe. You set the cookies by the night stand, “I got your tea.”
He ignores you.
“It’s your favorite. Chamomile with a teaspoon of honey.” 
Suguru shifted, facing you before mustering the energy and courage to sit up. His voice, hoarse and weary, as if he hadn't had a sip of water in days. "You... really didn't have to trouble yourself, really," he replied, acknowledging the concern you showed. The fatigue in his tone hinted at the toll recent events had taken on him.
“Nonsense.” she smiled, handing him the cup, “I enjoy taking care of you.”
Suguru managed to smile slightly, you noticed his eyes didn’t wrinkle like it used to, it no longer had that spark and his eyebags were more prominent. Of course you weren’t blaming him but you can’t help but feel sad realizing just how much his technique has been impacting him, especially after his most recent mission.
“Thanks.” 
“Now,” she said as her hand slowly made its way to his free hand, “do you want to talk?” He sighs, “Okay.”
"I just–" he starts, "eating curses, it tastes like shit. I hate it, yet I have to do it," he says, his voice carrying a mixture of frustration and resignation.
“Worst part is,” he adds as he squeezed your hand, “the worst part is, when you eat real food, you think of the curse you most recently ate
making it taste like it.” he explains as he took a sip of his tea.
You stroke his hand with your thumb, reassuring him in your own way, “I’m sorry you have to go through that.”
Suguru’s tone changed into more of a hateful tone, “it's because of those
those monkeys. I have to eat their curses.” he muttered, “I hate them. Useless monkeys.”
“Monkeys?”
"Humans. Non-sorcerers," he explained, taking another sip of his tea. "Curses spawn through non-sorcerers' negative energy," he continued, his tone carrying a distinct bitterness, as if the very thought angered him. 
Why the hell should Jujutsu sorcerers lose their life over something non-jujutsu sorcerers do? Why should they protect the weak, why should the strong protect the weak?
It angered him, the bitterness evident in every word as he expressed his frustration. "Not only are humans – monkeys, useless, but they're also the reason why Jujutsu sorcerers die on a daily basis. At the very least, if you’re useless, don’t make shit harder for us," he muttered with a tone that carried a mix of irritation and exhaustion.
You continued to hum, your thumb stroking his hand gently. Suguru rarely opened up about his true feelings. If anything, he played the role of everyone's therapist, ‘everyone’ being you and his best friend, Satoru.
Satoru looks for him after an earful from Yaga or calls him whenever he has no one else to try out the newest mochi shop that opened just around the corner. Suguru was also your rock; you'd go to him when you felt down or depressed, and even if you didn't, he always found out and looked after you.
Slowly, everything– being the therapist friend, Amanai Riko’s death, curse eating, school, it was all too much for him; instead of seeking you out and finding comfort, he chose to keep quiet, letting his negative emotions swallow him, making him feel like an empty seed.
“You know what else hurts?” He dryly laughed, “the fact that no one– well, almost no one noticed I’ve been quieter, I’ve been going out less and less.” He looked at you with hurt in his eyes, an expression you’ve never seen before.
“Shoko is busy studying to be a med student, Satoru probably could care less about how I feel, and you
” he looked away, “you’re probably only here out of pity.”
You widen your eyes, “Suguru, no, of course not.”
“Why?” he looks at you once again, “why did you come find me today?” Suguru asks, his eyes were looking for something in yours, an answer, perhaps?
You played with his fingers, tugging on them gently one by one, “you’ve been severely sad these past few days, Satoru, Shoko, me– hell, even Nanami and Haibara noticed as well.” You laughed dryly, “I couldn’t just sit here and leave you alone.” 
Suguru pulled you into a hug, “thank you, love.”
You hummed, hugging him back before he suddenly laid back down onto the bed, turning the hug into a cuddle, “now, will you please try and eat something?” you giggled.
Suguru, who seemed to be feeling better smiled, “okay, maybe a bite of that cookie won’t hurt.”
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brainlessrot · 2 years ago
Text
Penguin Pebbling
Involves collecting and giving small objects, like pebbles, as gifts to people you care about.
because i do penguin pebbling very often and i wanted to indulge myself a lil bit đŸ€­
also sorry for disapearing for like... 5 months!!! requests are now open again <3
Characters ;; All of the students (grim included)
Contents ;; could be seen as either platonic or romantic (except ortho's and grim's!), GN!reader, no beta read‌around 1200 words total, 50~ words per character
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Riddle ;; i think he would see it as weird and although he would keep it he doesn't think it to be sentimental, for him its just some random rock you randomly gave him, may give you some trinkets (no rocks :( ) as payback (prolly roses or rose themed stuff)
Trey ;; he wouldn't understand why you chose to give him a... rock? probably put it in some drawer in his room and forgot about it unless you explain why
Cater ;; doesn't understand but will keep the rock in his bedside table, may understand that its a sentimental gift from you and if its pretty enough he will post a pic of it!!!
Ace ;; throws it away. Nah but hes similar to trey, confused abt why would you give him?? a rock you found somewhere on the floor?? would prolly make fun of you if you told him why (but the way his face lowkey matches his hair is proof that hes gettin flustered)
Deuce ;; HE GETS YOU!!! will absolubtely cherish the lil rock AND give you some in return, you two may start a rock gifting competition to see which one of you gives the prettiest one to the other
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Leona ;; "...what is this". will throw it away (this time fr) unless you specifically tell him its a sentimental gift, then he will throw it in a drawer and forgets abt it (man does NOT care abt a rock sorry :/) but if you are especially close to him and the rock is pretty he may send it back to his brother for it to be made into some jewelry... but DO NOT mention it if he wears it
Ruggie ;; if its pretty enough he will display it in his room, if not, he still puts it carefully in a box with other trinkets, may also find you one for yourself (my man gets it!!) and may even give you some dandelions he was saving for a quick snack if he finds you while out (doing Leona's work) walking
Jack ;; super confused but lowkey touched, will put it with his (many) cactai, if you do it multiple times, he will start giving you some he found on a run that he thought you would like
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Azul ;; if he likes you hes giggling and kicking his feet, will put it in his desk at the VIP room, no matter if its just a broken brick or a cute crystal you found, the tweels make fun of him for this
Jade ;; probably has gifted you some by himself that he found on his lil mountain treks, may put whatever you give him in one of his terrariums as decor
Floyd ;; loves it a normal (crazy) amount, cherishes the rock SO much, probably gives it a small hat and face and brings it around the school, will loose it and demand you find another one for him... he might throw it at you to get your attention
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Kalim ;; definition of !!!!YIPPIEEE!!! puts it on his bedside table and stares at it while giggling before going to sleep, beware, you will find boxes of gemstones (not the cheap ones!!!) in front of your room at any moment now
Jamil ;; may try to hide it but he finds it cute, covers his face before accepting the rock, leaves it on his desk for when he goes back to his room to give him a small boost in mood, doesn't reciprocate the rock giving but isn't against receiving more from you
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Vil ;; what. what the hell is this. unless its throughly clean and has some interesting colors/design/it's pretty he will throw it away woops, doesn't understand the appeal but if youre sad he threw it away hell ask you for "the prettiest rock for him, the prettiest person you've seen"
Rook ;; now youre inexplicably finding rocks EVERYWHERE, your pillow is lumpy? rock! you wanted cereals for breakfast? filled with rocks! went to put on your socks? why is there a rock?! he may even throw them at you from afar!! (believe him he didn't actually think it through he just wanted to surprise you)
Epel ;; kinda gets you!! may not reciprocate the rock giving at first (he prefers personally carving you some apples as a gift) but will if you explain to him the sentimentality behind it!! will save any rock you give him and maybe even send one back to his meemaw if he deems it cool enough
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Idia ;; Doesn't really?? get it at first?? but when he was (forced to be) outside he saw a cool rock on the sidewalk and went "oh hey they would like this one!... Oh damn." a light bulb went off of his head at that moment, he wont really give you any rock bc he simply doesn't go outside, but will put the rocks you give him between his idol merch and figurines
Ortho ;; the epitome of just there for the vibes, doesn't understand jackshit of why youre doing it but if youre happy he's happy!! will test the rocks to see what compound or kind they are and tell you funfacts about them
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Malleus ;; OH LORDDDDD hes kneeling down and holding his chest the moment you open up your hand and present him with the rock, A GIFT??? FOR HIM?? FROM YOUUU???? hes a very shinnies boy so be prepared to find anything gold anywhere in your dorm/room, he actually gets you from the start and is so happy, like straight up giddy, cackling in his room as he makes a small altar for the rock (half joking)
Lillia ;; also very giggly and understands the act of gifting rocks as a show of friendship (or more) will also leave small trinkets on your way (some of them are hundreds of years old... be careful)
Silver ;; hes used to small animals also giving him offerings and trinkets, so he understands the sentimentality behind the little rock, will also give you some shinny stone he found while resting in the forest, look it has the shape of a chipmunk!!
Sebek ;; he doesn't understand, he doesn't care. nah but seriously he really doesn't get why even if you explain it to him, no "it reminded me of you", "i though you would like it", "its pretty tho!!"s will make him understand, but please do ignore how close he set it to his Malleus' altar
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Grim ;; acts like he doesn't want it and might even throw it away in your face, but the moment you turn around hes running back and searching desperately for it, he wont ask for any but if you give him more he aint complaining, hes like the
+"do you like it?
-"no"
+"then ill take it"
-"BACK OFF, NO WAY!"
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