#going back to seattle for a day n a half is stupid it’s for like 4 hrs with my family too
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transmechanicus · 2 months ago
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radio frequency adjust really fast noises
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mendessi · 2 years ago
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ii. the sun
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The sun portends good fortune, happiness, joy and harmony. It represents the universe coming together and agreeing with your path and aiding forward movement into something greater.
paring: joel miller x fem!reader
summary: you meet joel for the first time while working as a trauma nurse in the emergency room at a hospital in austin, texas. joel can't handle a few stitches so he distracts himself by flirting with you.
warnings: pre-outbreak, mentions of injury, blood, stitches, flirty/nervous!joel, mention of a car accident, me pretending i know what being a nurse is like, no use of y/n
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minors DNI
Your day had been ridiculously rough but thankfully it was coming to an end within the next two hours. It was Saturday which meant it was one of your longer shifts at the hospital and it felt like it had no end in sight.
There had been a game at the university which brought a ton of mid day drinking to underage college students who couldn't handle their alcohol. This also typically meant a ton of fights between the rivaling teams, drunk driving accidents, and typical college bullshit that never seemed to end during the football season. If there was one thing you had learned about Texans since moving there was that they take their football seriously. Especially for a school like UT.
"Talk about a rough day." You say to your co-worker when you both finally have a second to breathe at the nurse's station. You flip open a chart to ensure everything is set for a patient's release and then shut it.
"At least Bradley over there didn't throw up on your brand new sneakers." Belle said to you with a sigh.
"College boys, what can you do?" You say with a laugh.
"So cute and yet so so stupid." She looked down at her pager and then groaned. "Great. I gotta run."
You grabbed your stack of release papers off the printer, stapled them and then headed over to one of your patients for them to sign. Considering it had been an early game, the chaos was settling down in the ER and the shift was getting easier which was a good sign you'd actually be leaving on time.
"Alright then Mr. Olson, you're all set." You gave your best smile and then turned on your heel after receiving the necessary paperwork.
"Hey, can you grab bed three? Brad needs his IV changed." Belle said as she quickly passed you by.
"Brad? We're calling him Brad now?" You huffed throwing your arms up. "Belle, I'm supposed to be leaving now."
"Sorry, love you!" She didn't even turn to look at you as she hustled off towards bed six where Brad was still recovering from his alcohol poisoning.
You roll your eyes and pick up the chart for bed three, reading over it as you walk towards the patient. Injury to hand. Probably from a bar fight. You pull the curtain back with a smile, slighlty surprised that the man sitting on the edge of the bed was not a college student but a grown man. Half a relief.
"Mr. Miller?" You say, pulling up your chair to sit in front of him saying your spiel, "How are you doing? I'm a RN at Austin General and I'm just gonna see what's going on and hopefully we'll get you out of here in about an hour, yeah?"
"Joel, please." He says. You can't help but take note of how handsome he is compared to the other drunk men that have come into ER today. Either he sobered up due to the gaping cut in his hand or he had time to sober up on his drive over here. "You're not from round here are you?"
"Seattle. That obvious, huh?" You say with a laugh. "I'm just gonna take a look." You take his hand, pausing for a moment when he sucks a breath of air through his teeth.
You unravel the sketchy and poorly wrapped t-shirt around Joel's hand, hiding any reaction you have to gash in the palm of his hand that is still bleeding.
"Get into a fight?" You ask, trying to make light conversation after seeing his pained reaction to the injury.
"Yeah, you should see the other guy." He laughs lightly.
"What really happened?" You ask, grabbing the antiseptic to clean the wound. This man was far from drunk.
You could see by the dirt on his hands that this was not a bar fight and indeed probably just a work related accident. What, you couldn't guess, but the man in front of you didn't give off the energy he was coming down from being wasted.
"Tried catching a pane of glass that was falling over. Sliced right through my hand." He said, watching your hands as they worked. "Not gonna need stitches or nothin, will it?"
"I wish I could give you the answer you want." You tell him with empathy coming to the conclusion that it was deep enough to not heal on its own and would need stitches.
"Shit," He sighs.
"It'll take about ten minutes tops. Not too bad." You finish preparing the wound and grab a fresh pair of gloves and your suture kit.
"You gonna do em?" He asked.
"Yes sir." You look up at him again from your chair and his eyes meet yours. They're soft and brown, and you almost imagine what they'd look like in the sun. Probably like honey, you think.
"You ever had em before?" He asks and you gesture to the small scar on your temple.
"My cousin pushed me out of our tree house when I was five. Cracked my head open pretty bad. Seven stitches." You say. "If five year old me can handle it, thirty-four year old you can handle it."
"How old are you now?" He asks.
"Twenty-four." You reply, pushing his fingers open so that his hand is laying flat on the table in front of you.
"Pretty young to be a nurse, I'd say. Pretty though." He says and almost immediately after he face palms with his free hand. "Sorry, I'm a little nervous."
You almost smile and then remember the amount of times you had been hit on today was astronomical between all of the college kids coming in and out of the ER. How hard could it possibly be for any men to keep their testosterone levels steady and not flirt with women simply trying to do their jobs. You do feel a little bit of empathy for him as needles do seem to make him nervous but you've had a hard, never ending day so nothing amuses you.
You look up at him with a blank stare, "Try to move as little as possible."
"Tell me somethin true." He says as you begin your first suture. He keeps his eyes on you but you're focused on stitching his hand back together.
"Such as?"
"About you." He releases a shaky breath and you notice his finger tips start shaking slightly. The caring person you are feels sorry for him. He does seem like a nice guy who is just dealing with the fact that he has a four inch slice in his hand.
"I think I'm quite an open book." You say, your eyebrows furrowing as you work carefully on his hand.
"I'd say the opposite." His voice is low and it's hard to tell if he's struggling to hold his composure or if he's still trying to flirt.
"I entered this field because when I was twelve I was in a pretty brutal car accident. I was in the hospital for weeks but the nurses that cared for me quickly became my reason for living. I was miserable, it was quite literally the worst time of my life, but I was excited to wake up everyday because I knew they'd be there to greet me. They were just doing their jobs, but it was so much more for me. I wanted to do that for other people." You talk quietly, but loud enough for him to hear. As you go on, you notice his fingers stop shaking and the muscles in his arm that were tense relax.
"I think you're doin a stand up job." You look up at him, a small smile on your lips. "You're makin this this thing a whole lot easier."
That was definitely flirting. Though, looking at him now, you don't seem to mind it much anymore.
"You flirt with women every time you go into their workplace?" You ask. You're half joking. What's the worst that can happen, you'll flirt, he'll be discharged and then you'll never see him again.
"Only the pretty ones." You look into his eyes, yours narrowed as you judge his words. He's not smiling anymore.
"You think I'm pretty." It comes out more as a statement than a question. You almost flip your hair but then remember you're supposed to be suturing his hand.
"I think you're the most stunning woman to ever walk the streets of Austin." He's 100% serious and you can tell he means what he's saying.
You're cheeks are red at this point and there's no hiding it. "You're not half bad compared to the boys that have been in and out of this ER today."
"That's cus I'm a man." He straightens his posture and you can't help but laugh at the bad line. "That was a bad one, m' sorry."
"Good to know." You glance at him and cut the suture. You wrap a bandage around his hand and then scribble stuff down on his papers. "Seven stitches."
"What time are you out of here?" He asks as he examines your work on his hand.
"As soon as you're gone." You say standing up. "I'm gonna grab your discharge papers and I'll be right back."
"Let me take you to dinner." He states more than asks.
"I don't go out with patients." You say before walking away to the nurses station located in the center of the floor.
As you print his papers and sign and date them you can feel his eyes on you but you avoid looking up. He was probably the only sober man you spoke with today and while yes he was extremely handsome, he was at least ten years older than you. You never really cared about that before so the only thing stopping you was your suddenly made up rule about not dating patients. You had never once been officially been asked out by a patient only tragically flirted with by every college kid that walked into building. The rule was bullshit and you knew it. What could one date hurt? He was charming and you didn't want to admit it.
"Okay, Mr. Miller you're all set. Just sign these for me and you're good to go." You slide him the discharge papers and wait patiently for him to sign them. He hands them back to you, a smug smile on his face.
"Thanks for everything." He says and you nod.
"Stay safe." You tell him and then turn on your heel back to the nurses station where you quickly file his paperwork and clock out. You grab your things and wave bye to your co workers as you head for the door.
"Hey," You look up from your pager and find Joel Miller waiting for you.
"Mr. Miller." You greet him, shoving your pager into your pocket. "Stalking me?"
"Joel. It's dark outside, figured I could walk you to your car." He says matching your pace which is always at a default fast pace, though it must be easier considering his legs are longer than yours.
"Sure you're not gonna kidnap me once we get there?" You ask with a huff.
"With my crippled hand against you? No chance, you'd take me out easily." He smiles.
"You'd like that wouldn't you?" You look both ways before crossing the street into the parking lot, he still keeps up with you standing at your side.
"As a matter of fact I would." He says and you finally look at him as you reach your car. You cross your arms over your chest and stare at him for a moment before speaking.
"Fine." You pull your phone from your pocket and hand it to him to put his number in.
"Really?" He tries to hide his excitement but he fails as the smile spreads from cheek to cheek as he punches the numbers in on your phone.
"I'll call you tomorrow." You say when he hands your phone back.
"I'll be waitin." He pulls your door open and you get in as he smiles at you until he closes the door. "Stay safe."
You never would've have given him your phone if it were anyone else but there was something about Joel Miller that you knew you could trust. You knew he'd never try to physically harm you and you knew that he wasn't being weird with his action. The nerves of getting stitches brought out a flirty side of him that was amusing to watch.
He could pretend that the only reason he asked you out was because you were "the most stunning woman to ever walk the streets of Austin" but it realistically was the fact that you were caring (whether it was just your job or not), you were kind (even when he was relentlessly flirting with you) and it was easy to tell you didn't put up with anyone's bullshit.
The truth is, Joel Miller never would've flirted with you if you were anyone else. He hadn't even thought of another woman since Sarah entered the world. He had never gotten stitches before so the nerves were eating at him but you opened up to him and alleviated his nerves. You had a bright aura, one that resembled the sun on a winter day, the moment when it emerges from the clouds and everything is suddenly warmer. You made him feel eased despite the throbbing pain of the cut in his hand or the process of getting stitched up.
That night was simple to the start of your relationship. Despite the clouds that surrounded you that night, Joel brought out the sun.
tag list: @aphrcdites @rey26
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mammalsofaction · 3 months ago
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For the writing thing : Perryshmirtz (15)
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From the kissy prompt list here
Perryshmirtz kisses
... Made in anger (45)
... Made in jealousy (46) @dinnerdog
... Passionately (15)
Pushing All My Buttons
Rating: M
Relationship: Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus
Add tags: Human Perry, speaking Perry, Peter the Panda (mentioned), Professor Mystery (mentioned), semi-public snogging, telenovela moments, owca agents being nosey little shits.
A/N: Yall would not believe how much fun I had with this.
---
Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
"Perry. Perry. Oh, for Gott's sake, Perry would you please slow down and let me explain-,"
He doesn't slow down. In fact, he lets the heavy swinging door leading out from Monogram's office swing loudly shut behind him, hoping it would slam Heinz in his stupid, simpering, unapologetic, lying face. Maybe even break his nose. Breaking Heinz's nose always makes him feel better.
His co-workers peek from beyond their cubicles, but cower quickly upon the sight of a single frightening glare.
"Verdammt, ok, I know you did that on purpose but I won't hound you for that now, it's an action made out of anger, and I forgive you-,"
Unbelievable! "Me?" Perry echoed incredulously, turning on his heel just as he realized he'd been baited, and he threw his hand up in resignation as Heinz caught up, practically out of breath. "Me? I'm the dick?"
"Baby, please-,"
"Do not baby me, Doofenshmirtz, after the kind of mess that you've just made me clean up back there with that no-good son of a bitch-,"
"Ouch, last name, okay, so you caught me in Seattle talking with Peter behind your ba-,"
Perry slaps him.
He doesn't realize he'd been thinking of doing it until he's already done it, with Heinz's face thrown back and cheek stinging red from the blow. He hadn't realized he hadn't wanted to hear that bastard's name again until Heinz spelled it out.
There is an unmistakable gasp from the crowd all around them, and an even more noticeable silence after.
He can't fucking do this. He needs to leave. This is the most humiliating day of his life.
Perry turns back on his heel, keeping his dark gaze on the floor ahead of him lest any of his co-workers caught any strays, thought they all jumped away quickly from his path, spilling coffee and handfuls of paperwork. He's half hoping Heinz would leave that as is, letting Perry run home and lick his nonsensical emotional wounds in the privacy of his own home, with his brother and maybe Pinky, who will most assuredly hear about this down the grapevine in a couple of minutes.
No such luck. Just as he reaches the door on the other end of the office, he hears the man scramble after him, continuing to shout his name. Jesus Christ.
He usually takes a right out the door, heading for the lift, but he's not in a mood to be gawped at any further by another batch of not-quite-strangers and let the gossip run any worse than it already had, so he takes a left instead, for the stairs. He's got the feeling he's going to need the exercise.
It takes two full flights of stairs before Heinz properly catches up to him, pulling him back by the shoulder. On instinct alone, Perry twists his torso to fully bodyslam Heinz against the wall. Here's an unfortunate side effect his rage-addled brain oversees; it presses both of their fronts tightly together, bringing their faces closely enough as to breathe the same muddled air, and Heinz keeps him there with his arms wrapped around his shoulders.
"Caught you." Heinz pants.
"You're a sick sonofabitch and I hope you break every bone falling down the rest of these stairs."
"I'd let you push me," Heinz admits. "If it means you'd spare me a minute to explain what I was doing in Seattle."
The mere mention of the city sends another spike of angry adrenaline through his veins. Perry feels like he could take down a while SWAT team. He's done so with less.
As it was, he only presses his forearm harder into the front of Heinz's throat. The former mad scientist chokes, and it oddly makes him feel better.
"Maybe I should." Perry muses humorlessly. He lets the man struggle a little longer for air before he eventually releases his hold. He does not otherwise create distance, keeping their fronts pressed together with nowhere else to go. "30 seconds."
Heinz gasped. "Peter and Mystery broke up."
The statement actually caught him enough unawares that he does let off to let Heinz breathe. "What?" He said.
"Peter and Mystery broke--I don't know, he's told me it was complicated." Heinz rushes to say with the given opportunity. "Liebling, you know what I was there for. I've told you about it. I was there to attend Diminiutive's seminar at the Evil Expo down the street, and I was going to get some linner on the way back-,"
"Don't call it that."
"That's what it's called!"
"No one else calls it that."
"It's like brunch, which is--you know, combination breakfast and lunch, so combination lunch and dinner-,"
"Can we please-," Perry interrupts, refusing to let Heinz convince him into the grooves of this well-worn argument. Already he can feel himself relax against his better judgement. "You just have. 20 seconds."
"You were not counting down."
"10 seconds."
"Ok, ok! Look, he wasn't even there for me, he was there for Diminiutive, I was just helping out an old friend, so we got into a bit of...a...squabble,"
"You flooded the mall," Perry points out, gentler than he'd initially made it out to be.
"He short circuited the whole place and the convention ended a day early, which was probably what he'd been aiming for." Heinz shrugged, tightening his arms around Perry's shoulders. They were already so close...it was easy, too easy to let the taller Drusselsteinian man lean down, planting a gentle kiss on his lips. And again, as he realizes Perry makes no move to push him away. Again, and again, and again, and Perry feels the last of his fury seep out milimetre by milimetre, until at last Heinz cradled a boneless agent, softly cradled within his stubborn embrace.
Heinz swipes his tongue down his bottom lip, requesting entry, which Perry allows with a gentle sigh. He licks down the back of his teeth, tasting of coffee and flaky, overpriced pastries, and when they next depart the sound of their smacking lips echo obscenely in the silent emptiness of the stairway.
"Yeah?" Heinz murmurs, pressing his nose to the side of his temple. Perry can feel his stupid, smug grin.
"I hate you so much." Perry mutters fiercely, but he lets the man pull him into another kiss, more heated than the last, angling their faces to pull him deeper, tugging him closer, manhandling their positions so he could press Perry into the wall, slipping his knee between his thighs and dropping his hands to Perry's waist. When air becomes a more pressing need, Heinz pulled away only to latch onto the spot just underneath the back of his ear, right where he loves it most. "I hate-you, God, Heinz-,"
"You know you're the only nemesis for me, hmm?"
He's meant to have a proper retort, something suitably sharp, maybe about his current track record thwarting wise, but Heinz flexes the thigh pressed his groin just as he bites down the joint of his neck and shoulder--just where the collar couldn't hide, and what comes out instead was a breathy moan. "Hmmn, Heinz,"
"Mm? Right here?" Heinz asked, rhetorically of course. Perry moans as Heinz's trailed a line of open mouth kisses down the side of his jaw, feeling dizzy from the lack of air of the enclosed stairway as well as the joint thrill from the knowledge they could be busted by any random passer-by at any moment. Nevertheless, as Heinz's hip jumped unwittingly, pressed to Perry's own, the teal haired agent reciprocates readily. "Fuck, liebling-," Heinz chokes, surprised.
A niggling thought remains on the edges of his mind, puzzle pieces he couldn't quite pin down until he pulled Heinz back down for another kiss, licking down the back of his throat. Perry lets it run its course before he finally pushes the man away.
Heinz looked wrecked, pupils blown and teeth bared. Like he was hungry. Perry reminds himself to focus.
"You taste like chicken pastries." He accuses.
This time, it is Heinz who looks like he'd been caught off guard. He blinks. "What?"
Perry's still got his hands on Heinz's chest, where they'd settled after they've relaxed from his previous stranglehold. Perry narrows his eyes, and his fists clench on Heinz's shirt. "You've had 'linner'." He accuses. "How did you know Peter and Mystery broke up?"
The man freezes. "Uh...,"
Ah, there it is. That welcome surge of annoyance that had gone missing so quickly some minutes before. He hits his hands palm down on Heinz's shoulders with enough force to push him away, but he doesn't let Perry slip out of his hold. He ought to slap him again. As if reading his mind, Heinz quickly held on to each of Perry's wrists separately.
"Ah, Liebling, wait-,"
"You are such an unbelievable asshole-,"
"I'd just let him buy me dinner!"
"Fuck you." Perry wrestles his hands away with a simple twist of his wrists, pushing the man away with a hard shove. Heinz hits the railing behind him with a grunt, likely bruising the small of his back. As Perry advances forward, Heinz flinched. "Ah, Perry, wait just a moment-,"
Perry fists his right hand into the fabric of his shoulder, and he pulls Heinz into one last kiss.
To his credit, the scientist reciprocates immediately, mouth slack in surprise even as Perry bites viciously on his lip, mauling the lower half of his face. It is only when Heinz is sufficiently dazed and confused that Perry lets up, letting Heinz blink at him with no small measure of confusion and wonder.
"What-,"
Perry cuts him off by slamming the heel of his shoe to Heinz's left foot, right above the joint of his ankle. Heinz yowls, a sharp cry of pain echoing down the hall that finally fills him with a sense of satisfaction.
"That's fair." Heinz whimpered.
"I thought so." Perry smirks, and finally lets himself walk down the rest of the stairs.
He doesn't slow down as Heinz hobbles pitifully behind him, not even once.
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xgryffinwhore · 4 years ago
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Hey! Can I request a jaeden martell x reader where basically their charters are dating on a tv show and they are really really good best friends in real life and they they both go on the Jimmy fallon show and he keeps on asking if they’re dating because everyone thinks they are and when they say no he obvi doesn’t let it go lol and it ends up slipping up that jaeden did/ does have a crush on reader and they maybe end up sharing a kiss in front is Jimmy & audience & stuff😶just an idea i had 😂:)
i love this idea wow, thinking i’m going to put my own little twist on it but i think you’ll still be pleased ;)
just friends
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warnings!: suggestive topics, fluff
word count: 2.1k
five
your face was being touched up with powder, the cotton pad dabbing at your nose as the white powder absorbed into any oil your face may have had.
four
you look over at jimmy, this wasn’t your first talk show, but it had been the biggest one with the most following. it was intimidating, you bounced your foot up and down and played with your hands.
three
behavior jaeden had grown to recognize. he knew you better then you knew yourself, your anxiety was worse then you put it out to be. “you ok?” he questioned, “fine, i’m fine” you painted a small smile on your face. but he wasn’t easily fooled.
two
he grabbed one of your hands and rubbed circles into your palm, this sent vibrations of relaxation down your spine.
one
his eyes locked with yours, you swore they were a different color each time you saw them. sometimes more blue, sometimes more green, sometimes dark with mystery, sometimes light and playful.
‘aaand where on air’
you wiped the hand that was interlocked with his off on your dress, it was clammy. the curtain came up fast, and your vision was soon flooded with bright lights and silhouettes of bodies.
making out the faces in the sea of people was impossible, but you knew your friends were out there. they had flown out to see you, a) they could go see new york and b) you were on national television, and they wouldn’t miss it for the world.
jimmy was talking, you knew that much, but your nerves took over and honestly you weren’t registering a damn thing he was saying. the crowd cheered, you snapped out of your daze.
“and here tonight, we have jaeden martell and y/n l/n from the new HBO tv series: turning tables”
he turned to both of us, and gave everyone time to clap. he tired to speak over the loud hands, moving on with his show, but the crowd made that difficult. eventually the clapping died out and he could continue.
“now, i’ve watched all of the episodes but, for the people who haven’t seen: can you explain what the show is about?” he looked a jaeden, you let go of a breathe you had held in.
“s-sure” jaeden turned to face the audience more, he was soft spoken and shy, so it was important he projected as much as he could.
“turning tables is a teen drama. it’s about families of poverty in the seattle washington area and how they struggle to go to school and work. my character, jennings cooper, is the main protagonist. the show is mainly from his point of view, and how he struggle to support his family.”
jimmy nods and smiles, he looks pleased with his explanation. i’m truth the show wasn’t that simple, he knew that. but, it would take so long to explain.
“and y/n, who do you play?” he knew the answer to this obviously, but you were becoming a crowd favorite. everyone loved your personality, and you were an up-and-coming a list celebrity.
“i play parker marlow, jennings girlfriend” you blushed at this statement, the crowd giggled and ‘ouuu’ed. jimmy rubbed his hands together, getting excited at the upcoming topic of discussion.
“so, your romance on season one was steamy” you thought back to the scenes you did together. all of the kissing, which felt normal at this point. he wasn’t a bad kisser, in fact- you didn’t mind it at all. your romance through the season built up to a sex scene, your mind flashed through the memories of filming it.
filming those scenes isnt half as steamy as you think it is. it’s awkward, you laugh a lot. you had never felt that exposed in your life! however watching it was different, it looked so real, so perfect.
you blurred out your thoughts, mr. fallon still speaking on the subject. “can we expect more -“ jimmy searched for your ship name, it was on the tip of his tongue. the combination of your first names on the show didn’t make an attractive combo. it was either jarker or pennings. your last names matched a little better.
“-carlow” jaeden finished for him. jimmy nodded and smiled “yes- carlow- can we expect more carlow next season?” you both looked at each other and smiled. the writers for the show already had the next four seasons laid out. you knew that carlow was a continuing relationship on the show.
“yes, you should expect more of that sort of content from us” you stated. the people in the crowd had a positive responce to this, the applause lapping until it died out once again.
“right, your characters have so much chemistry in the show. two struggling teens just trying to break even.” jaeden agreed “yes, our characters balance each other out, and being from the same background helps them associate. jennings is kind of a bad boy-as the ladies say- he’s a felon, he steels cars and sells them to counterfeit manufacturers and dealers for money. parker, y/n’s character, has a job at a diner. she shows him the light at the end of the tunnel if he chooses to go down a good path.”
“yes, parker gets jennings a job at the diner with her, and he falls for her sweet disposition even after everything she’s been through” you add.
jimmy licks his lips and pops another question: “so id imagine the chemistry in the show heightens the real life thing?” he cocked an eye brow, the group gasping at the intrusiveness.
“jaeden and i are just friends” you blurt out, your nerves working up again. it was hard, you liked jaeden ever since you had your first kiss with him.
“y-yeah” he stutters, he obviously wasn’t expecting this either “friends” jimmy shakes his head and puts his finger on his lip “recently, you both have been showing a lot of pictures of you two together on social media.”
the audience ‘awwwed’ at the photos that displayed behind you. on the screen, there were pictures of you and him that were on both of your instagrams. you two at gardens, getting food, even watching movies at each other’s houses.
“for just friends, these photos looks intimate , wouldn’t you say” a bunch of ‘yes’’s and ‘mhm’’s came from the crowd as both of your faces became red.
“we’re just best friends, honestly” jaeden laughed nervously, he fixed his hair with his hand has he always does.
“right right- can you tell me when this photo is from?” jimmy asked, the last picture flashing on the screen. it was of you both, you had just filmed your first scene together.
the first scene you filmed together was episode two, he saved you after you fell into ice cold water. it was how the characters met, and it was filmed at a cove on a windy august day.
the picture was a little blurry, but it added character. he had his arm around you, both of your hair soaked, and you share a huge towel. you remember how cold you were, your teeth chattered so rapidly. his hair was stuck to his forehead and more small pieces went up. and your lips were almost purple, half from the makeup, half because you swore that was the coldest water you had ever went in.
“that’s from when we first started filming, it was the first time we met in the show” you recited, re living the memory in your head. you remember jaeden pulling your head into his chest when the wind began blowing. you remember his thumb trying to create friction on your back to make you just a little warm.
“yes yes- you two look so adorable!” jimmy squealed, he was the most teenage-girl-grown-man you had ever met. his hand opened one of the drawers in the faux desk he sat behind, pulling out a small blue camcorder.
the camcorder.
you know how on tv shows, there is special footage? sometimes it’s just behind the scene specials but sometimes- sometimes - it’s footage the actors document when they were just having fun? yeah it was one of those camcorders.
the camcorder was brought in by the two other co hosts wyatt oleff and finn wolfhard (i know this cast is sooo original not really) they played jaedens two best friends on the show. while they weren’t filming, they’d dick around and talk about stupid stuff. you’d never seen what they filmed, but you had been featured quite a few times; their by them pranking you, or invading your personal space.
you looked over at jaeden, you watched his adam’s apple bob and a thin layer of sweat flush over his face. he bounced his leg slightly, a habit he had picked up from you.
“let’s just review our material here” jimmy teased, his tongue darting out between his teeth. the video began to play, the sound was loud; assumingely for jaeden quiet voice in the tape.
the video started with wyatts unsteady hand, him and finn were running around set, they stopped at jaeden, he was playing on his phone in his trailer.
“jaeden wesley we have come for you” finn yelled. you could see jaeden shoot up from his chair. “hey guys” he waved. they talked for around a minute, jokes and all. then finn started to giggle, wyatt zoomed in on jaedens face.
“so jaeden, how’s y/n?” he chuckled, jaeden blushed “she’s ok i guess dunno.” wyatt stopped zooming in when the only thing in frame was jaedens head. “the kiss was good hm?” wyatt asked. jaeden continued to play on his phone, he nodded. “yeah, she’s pretty cute too.”
the video cut to another segment, this was filmed after the sex scene. you knew because jaeden laid on the bed you, in the same underwear that he wore during the scene. the boys were jumping on the bed, and jaeden took the camera and talked to it.
“this is for memory and memory ONLY! h-hey y/nnn” he was talking to the camera like it was you “you’re amazing and cool” you could hear finn explode into laughter as he stole the camera back and started running “yeah! and he wants your babies and loves you so much-“ “SHUT UP FINN!!!” and jaeden chased him around.
the video was taken off the screen. your face had become close to ghostly white. it was weird, it was almost like he was dumb enough to think finn wouldn’t give jimmy this blackmail goldmine. you looked at jaeden, he hit his bottom lip until it was red, he itches his neck and laughed it off.
“yeah ok-ok jimmy, maybe i liked her back in the day” jaeden tried so hard to be casual, but jimmy hit him with a heart stopper: “but mr martell, the last clip was filmed less then a month ago!”
your mind flickered with memories and ideas of him.
your first time meeting, how good his hand felt in yours. when you wiped icecream off his chin, and him dotting icecream on to the top of your nose. the way his hair always fell perfectly above his eye brow. and SHIT how he always smelt so fucking good. how he let you fall asleep in his arms and how he never complained when you put on some stupid romcom and-
“y/n?” jimmy questioned. “huh?” you spaced, come on y/n you gotta stop doing that. “i asked how you felt about all of this.” “well, there isn’t a right word i can use.”
jaeden took this has a bad reaction, he did a small wave to the crowd and stood up to get off the stage.
you stood up, grabbed his hand, and laid one right on him. kissing him felt normal, but now that there was emotion behind it, it just felt so right.
you both stopped for air, the crowd went wild. jimmy was clapping too, you could barley hear them, your heart was pumping throughout your whole body. you swore jaeden could hear it.
after the show, you sat in your dressing room for a bit, contemplating the events of tonight, and how they were all broadcasted for your embarrassment. but it was only the beginning. only the beginning of what was to come for mr. and mrs. jaeden martell.
786 notes · View notes
willowbird · 3 years ago
Note
7, 2 and 2 🥺🥺
Foxes as kids, roommates, inside Andrew's closet.
In which Neil is the monster under the bed and Andrew's closet is the only safe place for either of them.
Warnings for mentions of child abuse.
---
Andrew usually hated having roommates. He had to have them when he was in the group home (no one got their own room there) and sometimes when he was with a foster family he had to share with another kid - and he always hated it. The one exception, though, was the monster that lived under Andrew's bed.
The monster wasn't like those in the scary stories and tv shows. He was a just a boy - who was actually younger and tinier than Andrew was! He had dark dark red hair and bright bright blue eyes and little black horns and sharp teeth and even a tail, and Andrew really thought that he was losing it the first time he saw him because look... it wasn't even close to Halloween and the kid had just crawled out from under his bed and then vanished again underneath it and Andrew had checked and he was really gone.
Neil (that was the monster's name) had told him that it was kind of a legend in his world (yup, his world) that sometimes a monster kid would be tied by fate to a kid in the human world. A lot of the legends apparently talked about how this was a test of some kind, how the monster kid was supposed to scare the human so bad he wet his pants or something like that.
(Andrew thought that was kinda stupid, but he supposed that lined up well enough with the stories he had heard about monsters under the bed.)
But Neil didn't want to scare anyone. When Andrew had asked Neil what he did want, though, Neil wouldn't ever answer him. He just got a little sad and a lot angry and then they'd fight and Neil would crawl back under the bed and disappear for a while.
He always came back though. And when Andrew was moved to a different house, Neil came too. Sometimes it would take a few days, and sometimes Neil couldn't get into a certain house through the space under the bed and so the doorway to his world would bring him through the closet instead, but he always came.
Which was why it made Andrew more than a little bit anxious when almost a whole month went by after his most recent move, and he hadn't seen Neil at all. He'd checked under the bed and in the closet every single night, but there was nothing. He was about to go from worried to angry when, at half-past midnight on the twenty-seventh night in the Lucas's house, Andrew heard quiet crying coming from the closet.
Andrew was on his feet in an instant, dropping his flashlight and the book he was reading on the bed, nearly tripping over the area rug, and skidding to a halt before the door before wrenching it open.
And there was Neil, curled up on the floor hugging his knees to his chest. He was crying and... and he was hurt. There was a cut on his lip and his face was all bruised and Andrew was so angry he almost slammed the door shut again.
"S-sorry," Neil murmured as he looked up, probably seeing the anger in Andrew's face. "I... I was gonna come sooner but..."
Andrew cut him off with a glare and a raised hand, telling him to wait. He then hurried back to his bed to grab the flashlight. Light acquired, he returned to the closet and Neil scooted over so Andrew could sit next to him, shutting the door to their special place.
Because you see, when Neil was there, whether it was under Andrew's bed or in his closet, no adult could get to him. The whole world outside the space shut off. If Andrew's foster parents were yelling at each other, their shouts and curses faded into complete silence when the closet door was shut or the bedskirt brushed the floor around them. If an adult came looking for him and opened the closet door or got down on their hands and knees to look under the bed, they'd see only shoes and toys and other discarded things - but no Andrew, no Neil. It was something to do with the magic that was his monster, because no one was able to see him except Andrew, and since Neil wanted to be seen by Andrew that meant that he was sorta... absorbed into that power too or something.
It meant that whenever they were together... they were both safe.
"I'm gonna kill him," Andrew promised quietly once they were both sitting criss-cross and facing each other in the narrow space.
Neil's eyes went wide, terrified, and he shook his head quickly. "N-no! No. You can't.."
"The hell I can't, Neil! You keep me safe. I wanna keep you safe too!"
They had had this argument before. When Andrew first saw the scar on Neil's shoulder and found out it was from his stupid bastard dad from the year before Neil first slipped out from under his bed. Andrew had been just a little kid back then, but he was eleven now. He could kill someone. If it was to protect Neil, he was pretty sure he could do anything.
"No," Neil said again, voice hushed even though they both knew no one on either side of their special space could hear them. "No. I... It wasn't even him. Mom..." He shook his head and rubbed his arms. That was when Andrew realized what Neil was wearing.
Normally, Neil gave off total rich-kid vibes. Even monsters had designer clothes, apparently, and Neil definitely had the monster-world version of The Gap or whatever rich people wore. But today he was dressed in drab, baggy jeans and a matching washed out t-shirt. His hair was a total mess, too, and looked like it needed to be cut.
"Neil," Andrew said, and it wasn't a question - it was a demand.
Neil grimaced, wringing his hands around his tail - a nervous habit he didn't realize he had and Andrew would never tell him about. "They... they found out... about you. About us. About... about how I can come here."
All the air in Andrew's lungs froze. It was a struggle to keep calm, to wait for Neil to continue on his own, because... because from the very first day Neil had told him 'no one can know - I don't know what they would do to us if they knew' and now that day was here and the anger in his chest was nothing compared to the fear suddenly pooling in his belly.
"Mom.. she took me and ran. So I wouldn't... so they wouldn't take me. Dad was... he was gonna give me to someone bad, someone who collects kids like me so they can find a way through and... Mom didn't want that to happen. She's protecting me..."
The protest was a weak one and Andrew pounced on it. "She's protecting you by beating the shit out of you?"
Neil bared all those sharp little teeth at him, but Andrew could never be afraid of Neil so he just glared back until his monster's resolve broke and he looked back down at his tail.
"She wants to keep me safe.. and I was being stupid..."
"I'll say you're being stupid," Andrew agreed, earning him a sharp look that he easily ignored. "Run. Come here. We'll both make a run for it together."
Neil's eyes widened. "What? No! What would we do, where would we go? You... you could get hurt! And it's not like I blend in, Andrew."
"We can travel at night. Or we can go someplace where everyone is super weird, like... like Seattle. There are loads of weirdos in Seattle, I bet no one would think twice about a boy with horns and a tail." If Andrew had been standing he might have stomped his foot.
"Now you're being stupid," Neil hissed out (and yeah, actually hissed, his voice got all... hissy... sometimes when he was mad).
Andrew grit his teeth and made a sound kind of like a growl that Neil had once complimented as sounding really monster-like. He wasn't making the sound to impress his friend right now though, he was making it because he was mad and frustrated and scared and... and a lot of things.
Then an idea came to him, sudden and bright and it was so genius it instantly flooded him with hope. His hands darted out and cupped over Neil's, holding both of them around the other boy's tail. "I know!"
"What?" Neil's eyes were wide again, but this time he leaned forward, taken up by Andrew's excitement.
"A witch. We need a witch. A witch can make you blend in over here, and maybe even help us until we're big enough to pass as adults."
Now Neil looked a little afraid, leaning back apprehensively. "A witch? There... there are really witches over here? I heard... I heard they do bad things to monsters."
"Can't be any worse than what monsters do to monsters or people do to people," Andrew reasoned, not willing to give up this opportunity. "Besides, if there really are monsters that live under the bed, there've got to be witches too."
Neil licked his lips, then looked down at their joined hands. He stared at them for a very long time before taking a slow, deep breath, apparently gathering his resolve. Then he nodded and looked up again, meeting Andrew's eyes.
"Okay," he finally said. "We... we'll find a witch. And... and we'll protect each other."
Andrew nodded back. He squeezed Neil's hands in promise. "We will. Forever, Neil. We'll always protect each other."
"Forever," Neil echoed. Then he gave a tiny, sharp-toothed smile. "And always."
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paperpocalypse · 4 years ago
Text
polk salad annie.
50 Wordless Ways to Say “I Love You”: 49. Giving them a tight hug that makes them lose their breath.
Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Reader
Word Count: 1,282 words
Warnings: Swearing
[A/N: This fic has spoilers from season 2, episodes 6-7 below the cut, so if you haven’t watched them yet and don’t want to be spoiled, make sure to catch up before reading! Requested by @waterlily502​ and anon :D]
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Five had botched the equations somehow.
You tug your suit jacket more tightly around yourself, peering into the flurry of snow as your muscles scream in protest against the sudden cold. This is really bad. You’re definitely nowhere near the academy where Five said he had grown up; in fact, from what you can see through the white haze of winter, you’re not even in a city. There’s just a lonely stretch of road flanked by snowbanks on either side.
“Sh-Sh-Shit,” you hiss, a shiver wracking your body. Your body – oh, for the love of time, don’t even mention the de-aging. This is really, really bad.
Hypothermia on the forefront of your mind, you tug the collar of your dress shirt up to your nose and stumble onto the empty highway, walking as quickly as you can. You use your other hand to wipe the snowflakes from your eyelashes and then look up at the sky. At the very least, it’s not the middle of the night. There’s got to be some traffic coming back and forth.
You start losing hope after ten minutes. Not long after, you start to feel a little dizzy. You press two fingers over your carotid, but they’re too numb to feel a pulse. Your lungs feel stiff.
But just when you’ve resigned yourself to freezing to death, the sound of tires over snow reaches your ears.
Twin headlights of a vehicle shine through the blizzard and onto you like two, warm suns. Finally. With a thankful sigh, you stagger towards the bumper as the pick-up honks and slows to a stop.
A big, burly man steps out. “God’s sake, kiddo, what are you doing out here?”
What happens next rivals that of the thrillers you used to read. The guy that picks you up is loud and friendly. He brings you to the nearest town, but the Temps drop by and he gets caught in the crossfire. After taking care of the agents (and flushing the newly discovered tracker from your arm down the toilet) you swap some licenses and take your late rescuer’s truck – something necessary but also something you’ll always regret – and spend the first half of 1982 driving across New England and the Midwest in search of a briefcase, laying as low as you can. It’s something you’re certainly used to; at the Commission, while Five was good at getting out of situations, you had a talent for avoiding them in the first place. It was why you were partners.
(Five. You know he has an uncanny knack for staying alive, but not a day goes by where you don’t hope he’s okay.)
In July, you get a lead in Oshkosh and find yourself at some Wisconsin Polka Association festival.
“Oh, aren’t you a killer in those clothes! You really should check out the ballroom, sweetheart. They’re teaching people your age how to polka dance.”
“No, thank you,” you decline, smiling politely and extracting yourself from the grip of the couple that had whisked you away for a costume change. (It really is weird and mildly off-putting, being coddled by people only a few years older than you.) “I have to go find my mom.”
“Are you sure? Our grandkids are in there.”
After a minute or so of assuring the two members that yes, you’ll check out the polka dancing later, and no, they don’t have to help you find your (non-existent) mom, you check your pamphlet and head toward the next place on your search list: the Muskellunge Banquet Room. Better check it out as quickly as possible.
Turning a corner, you spot the entrance at the end of the hall.
However, you also see a boy attacking a vending machine and swearing his mouth off.
“Stupid mother Fudge Nutter! Fuckin’ Fudge Nutter –”
Okay, maybe you have a little time.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” you call out, jogging over. You pull him back before he can kick the glass.
The kid immediately yanks his arm away, sneering at you. You stifle a snort. A quick glance has you wondering why he has a schoolboy uniform on – you don’t see that every day in America, especially during summer break. Weird.
“Calm down, Yosemite.” You smile. “Did something get stuck in there?”
“What the hell do you think?” he snaps, eyes wild as he turns to stomp away. “God, I ask for one thing –”
“Wait.” You grab his arm again and dig some coins out of your pocket. Good thing you have quarters left over from gas. “Here, I have some extra change. Fudge Nutter, right?”
While the boy glares, straightening his jacket, you stick the coins into the vending machine and enter the code for the Fudge Nutter bars. F-6. The action feels nostalgic – you remember when Five had bailed you out of a stuck vending machine snack once, during an assignment in 1999 Seattle. He had finally begun warming up to you by then. You still owe him money for that.
The coils whir, and two chocolate bars drop into the pick-up box. You bend down and collect the treasure, holding one out towards the boy.
“One for you, one for me.”
Considerably calmer, he only looks at you suspiciously before slowly taking the Fudge Nutter from your hand. The expression is screamingly familiar. You find yourself wondering; it could be completely possible, perhaps, that –
The boy stalks off. Rude little brat.
“Holy shit, kid, a thank you is in order,” you exclaim, running after him. Coincidentally, he’s heading toward the banquet hall, and you hope you won’t have to worry about him while you’re skulking around in there for an agent. “I didn’t have to bail you out.”
“I am decades older than you, so don’t call me kid.” When you reach the end of the hallway, he stops and scowls at you. “Now stop following me. I have something I need to do.”
“Sorry to break it to you, kid, but so do I,” you snap, any goodwill you had scrounged out of respect for Five quickly fading away. Now a little pissed, you hold the boy’s gaze with equal vitriol. “So you better –”
And just like that, it clicks. 
Your eyes widen as you cut yourself off.
“… Five?”
Recognition fills the boy’s face. “[Y/n]?”
“Holy shit.”
You drop your candy bar, throwing your arms around him and crushing him against you. It’s him. Holy shit. Five stiffens as you bury your face into his shoulder with a half-crazed laugh, then tentatively hugs you back. His grip tightens within seconds of doing so.
Finally, you let go. “How’d you find me?” you murmur after regaining your breath, searching his gaze. How did you not notice it was him sooner? His eyes are exactly the same.
“Honestly, I had no idea you were here,” he replies. (... Ah, so it was luck. You’ll take it any time.) Looking past you, Five walks toward the fire axe mounted on the wall and takes it down. “I’m here on business.”
At the mention of business, your smile fades into a bewildered frown. “Five. Are you – are you working for the Commission again?”
“No.” He positions the axe over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow. “Quite the opposite, actually. The board of directors is meeting here.”
Ah. That kind of business.
Picking your Fudge Nutter back up, you tuck it into your pocket. “Well, in that case – mind if I join?” you ask.
A brief smirk forms on Five’s face to match yours. He gestures his head toward the banquet hall, and you fall into step with him like you had so many times before.
“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”
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readingtherooms · 4 years ago
Text
Vanilla
Summary: After a long day, you just want to lay down on the couch. Unfortunately, our resident genius got there first. 
Pairings: spencer reid x fem!reader
Requested: nope!! just me being in love w baby spence
Warnings: fluff, so much fluff. 
Word Count: 1568
A/N: hey guys! sorry this is a little all over the place, but i thought it was cute. I wrote this with season 1 in mind, but it’s really up for interpretation. I don't currently have a taglist but I think i'm going to start one so let me know if you want to me on it! The moodboard below was made by me however the images are not mine!
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It’s almost midnight, and the team is flying back to DC from Seattle. The case had ended well. (Y/n) should be relieved. She wasn’t. She had fought with her brother right before she left, and going home means she’s going to have to talk about it.
 “I’ve never been good at that. Talking. I much rather just hug it out, I've always been tactile”, she explains to JJ as she gets out of the car. 
Boarding the jet, everyone is welcomed by fluorescent lighting and the overwhelming essence of day old coffee. Spencer quickly makes himself at home on the couch, as Hotch and Gideon settle into a game of cards. (Y/n) tries to read, but after twenty minutes of staring at the same page, lost in her own head, she debates giving sleep a shot. She glances over at Spencer. He’s awake. 
“Is there any hope of me convincing you to give up the couch”, she mumbles as she sits down across from her best friend
“Is there any hope of me convincing you to come to the Jacques Delille convention with me on Saturday?” He quickly responded. (Y/n) sighed - her and Spencer had been friends at CalTech, long before she got the job with the BAU. Over the years, she grew quite fond of the eclectic conventions he would drag her to. She loved listening to Spencer go on his signature tangents, it gave her a chance to just listen. Not worry about being awkward or saying the wrong thing, like she did around most people. With Spencer, all she had to do was listen, and she loved it. Unfortunately, she was going to be spending her Saturday in a much less pleasant manner. 
“I already told you, I have to go to brunch with my brother” she groaned. 
He chuckled, “Well then I’m not moving”. 
“You know what, screw it” she thought to herself. She was tired, she kept getting caught up in her thoughts, and if she was being completely honest with herself, she was in desperate need of physical affection. 
“You don’t need to move” she stated bluntly.
“Wait, what?” Spencer responded, not even attempting to hide the surprise in his voice. He didn’t know (y/n) to go down without a fight.
“But you can’t stop me from laying on the couch” she countered. He responded only with a slight tilt of his head, and a look of confusion. (Y/n) stood up and walked over to where he had propped himself up. 
“Can I lay on you?” she half-whispered, her confidence starting to falter. 
“W-What?” he looked up at her with bewilderment in his eyes.
“Nevermind, it was a stupid idea.” She said, barely loud enough for him to hear. The fleeting confidence she had only moments ago, had completely drained out of her. She turned to walk towards the bathroom, attempting to escape the situation.
“Wait” he stopped her, despite still being perplexed by what she had just asked. “You can, uh, lay on me - if that's, uh, what you want.”  He clears his throat. 
“Are you sure?” (Y/n) responds, equally as flustered. He nods in response. 
After an uncomfortably long pause, she begins to lower herself onto the tan leather, leaning back as she does so. 
The next three minutes were chaotic to say the least, with neither of them not knowing exactly what to do. However, after those three, awkward, giggle filled minutes, (y/n) found herself lying between Spencer's legs, her head gently resting on his chest. She knew he wasn't always great with physical affection, she kept asking him if he was comfortable. He, in return, continued to reaffirm that he was, in fact, comfortable. 
A few more minutes went by, and soon (y/n) felt herself drift asleep, lulled by the soft fabric of his cardigan, and the gentle movements of his breath. 
Spencer, in contrast, was anything but peaceful. 
This just isn't the kind of thing that happened to him. Pretty girls don't just want to lay on him. His mind was a whirlwind of thoughts. He had just about convinced himself that this was a dream, when (y/n) shifted slightly, snapping him back into reality. 
He was suddenly very conscious of his arms. He had them resting lightly over her shoulder blades, in a position which he originally thought to feel natural. Doubt started to wash over him, he had never really done this before. Despite Derek's mocking, he wasn't actually a virgin, but it was in that moment that he realized he had never actually cuddled before. What if his arms were in the wrong place? What if (y/n) is judging him? Wishing she had never asked to lay on him? 
He lifted his right arm off of (y/n), and managed to pull his cell phone out of his pocket without too much movement. He really didn't want to do this, but he honestly couldn't think of a better alternative. He cursed himself internally, and reluctantly opened his phone, tapping on his second contact - “Derek Morgan”
Spencer : Derek, please turn around. Do not make a scene. 
Spencer sees Derek's head whip around as he reads the message, eyes widening when he notices (y/n). Despite being fairly certain that she was asleep, Spencer shifts his arm so that his phone was out of her line of sight. 
Derek : MY MAN!!!!!
Spencer : Don’t be dramatic, I need help. 
Derek : Dramatic?! Help?! Man you’ve liked this girl since COLLEGE 
Spencer : Trust me, I know. However, what I don't know is how to do this.
Derek : Do what? Cuddle?
Spencer : Yes, where do I put my arms?
Derek : Dude, you just gotta be natural
Spencer : That is completely unhelpful. Are you aware who you are talking to? Yesterday you watched me walk into a door. 
Derek : Yes, and I got it on video. Alright I guess I’m going to have to coach you through this. 
Spencer : Yes please. 
Derek : You owe me
Derek : Okay, take your right hand, and set it right above her waist
Spencer : My right or your right?
Derek : The hand with your phone in it
Derek : Now, your left hand, set it parallel to your right hand
Spencer : Does this look right? 
Derek : You’re doing great loverboy, are you finally gonna ask her out? 
Spencer : Maybe. 
Derek leaned over the back of his seat, clearly taking a photo. Spencer furrowed his brow. 
Spencer : Why did you take a photo of us?
Derek : Penelope. 
Spencer chuckled to himself lightly. He felt much more at ease than he had five minutes ago. Scanning the jet, he noticed that Derek had gone back to staring out the window. Everything seemed at ease. Hotch was facing away from Spencer, with a passed out Gideon across from him. JJ and Elle were both sleeping across from Derek, JJ lying on the brunette’s shoulder. 
Then there was (y/n). She was so peaceful as she slept, Spencer found himself entranced by her. He tucked back a strand of hair that fell onto her nose, and he felt her hum lightly with contentment. She smelt like vanilla, she always has. It was more than just perfume though, she must use vanilla body wash, shampoo as well. Is it possible she’s been using the same body wash since college? 
That is how Spencer Reid fell asleep that night, with (y/n) in his arms, thinking about the smell of vanilla.
-
Two hours later, Spencer’s eyes slowly started to crack open. (Y/n) was awake, nestled into the crook of his neck. 
“Hey sleepyhead” she teased. She received only an incomprehensible mumble in return. She looked at her watch, 4 AM. 
“We’re going to land in about a half hour, so I’m going to untangle myself and hopefully avoid a disapproving look from Hotch” she whispered in his ear. She placed a kiss on his forehead, before leaving the couch and returning to her original chair. 
The kiss was so soft, so light, that Spencer wasn’t even sure that it was real. The morning light was just beginning to spill through the small jet windows, and he waited for his eyes to adjust, before escaping to the bathroom. He was desperately trying to process what had occured in the past few hours. His mind was flooded with questions. 
Does this mean she likes me like I like her? 
Did she just need the comfort of a friend?
Is Derek going to make a big deal out of this?
IS THIS a big deal?
Hotch was awake, was he watching us? Does he care?
How does she always smell like Vanilla?
He finally realized that he would never find answers to all these questions standing in the jet bathroom. He fixes his hair, and steps back outside. 
“Hey (y/n)?”
“What’s up Spence?” 
“How do you always smell like vanilla?”
(Y/n)'s face lit up, giggling at his question. Suddenly, all the questions in Spencer’s brain felt like they were melting away. 
“Everything’s going to be okay” he thought to himself.
Everything is going to be okay because (y/n) is sitting in front of me
She’s smiling 
That smile could grow roses in the desert. 
Everything is going to be okay because she’s sitting in front of me
She’s smiling 
She’s smiling and she smells like vanilla
Oh, how I love vanilla. 
441 notes · View notes
just-dreaming-marvel · 4 years ago
Text
Love and Medicine ~ 13
MASTERLIST
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< previous chapter
Word Count: 3,160ish
Summary: You try to handle what happened with Steve, while Natasha tries to handle her pregnancy.
Warning: serious pregnancy complications
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A few days later, you were anxious and needed to get energy out. You dragged Natasha to the park for a run. She was huffing and puffing as you basically ran circles around her.
“You’re stupid,” Natasha panted, trying to keep up. “You're stupid, evil, sadist and I wanna kill you.”
“Endorphins are good. Endorphins are mood elevators,” you replied. “This is supposed to make us feel better.”
Natasha stopped and threw herself on the ground. “Do you feel better?”
“I’m stupid.” You jogged around her.
“Slutty mistress.”
“Pregnant whore.”
“Sleeping with our bosses was a great idea.”
You stopped and sat yourself beside Nat. “You know what’s ruined for me?”
“What?”
“Ferry boats. I used to love ferry boats and Steve's got a thing for ferry boats. Now every time I see a frigging ferry boat—“
“You know what's ruined for me? Coronary artery by-pass grafts ... and aortic aneurysms. I used to love aortic aneurysms.”
You laid next to Natasha with a sigh. “Have you cried yet?”
“What do you think?”
“Do you think we’ll feel better if we cry? You know like just let it out?”
“Probably. Yeah…. Do you wanna cry now?”
“No.”
“Okay.”
~~~
Steve entered the hospital elevator, finding himself alone. Which was relieving. Unfortunately, at the last second, Fury entered wearing a beanie.
“Nice hat,” Steve commented.
“Shut up,” Fury responded.
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m going back to work.”
“You’re not cleared for surgery.”
“Leave me alone. I’ve been sitting at home watching Ellen giving away things on TV. Ellen, Steve! You clear me now or I’ll hurt you.”
“If you want me to clear you so soon, maybe you should've thought about that before you gave chief to Stark and invited Satan to Seattle.”
“Satan?”
“Good morning,” Peggy greeted, entering the elevator. “I like the hat, Nick.”
“Satan speaks,” Steve murmured.
“Actually I prefer to be called ruler of all that is evil. But I will answer to Satan.”
“What is she still doing here?”
“I asked her to stay,” Fury answered. “We have a pediatric surgery attending on maternity leave.”
“Actually, I could use you on a consult,” Peggy told Steve. “Will you meet me up there Steve?”
“Ah yeah. Fine,” he responded. Peggy left the elevator. “I’m not clearing you for surgery.”
~~~
Dr. Gamora and her group of interns were all gathered in a patient’s room for rounds. Dr. Banner was also in attendance.
“Mr. Jackson is scheduled for resection non-small cell carcinoma today,” Natasha stated. “He did well overnight, has remained afebrile. He's had a dose of ceftriaxone this morning. He's pre-op labs are unremarkable. His chest x-rays, um, are unchanged from the previous.”
“I own a couple dry-cleaning stores,” Mr. Jackson explained. “Never believed what they said about inhaling the chemicals.”
“We’re going to do everything we can for you, Mr. Jackson,” Banner promised. He turned to Natasha. “Did oncology see him yet?”
“Uh, they’re waiting for the surgical path,” Natasha replied.
“Thank you, Dr. Romanoff.”
“Next patient,” Dr. Gamora said. The group of interns followed Gamora.
“You need to tell Banner,” you whispered to Natasha.
“No,” Natasha responded.
“I just think you should still tell him about the baby because he'd at least have the responsibility of having to pay.”
“No! You know what? He’ll never know. It’s over. Once this pregnancy is taken care of, Banner won’t even be a blip on my radar. He’ll be a smudge.”
“Right,” you scoffed.
You all entered the next patient room to see a young woman.
“Alexa Rickie,” Peter began, “she’s 23 years old. In for a scheduled ETS for treatment of her erythrophobia hyperpyrexia.”
“Erythrophobia?” Val whispered to Clint.
“Blushing,” he answered.
“You have any questions about the procedure?” Gamora asked Alexa.
“Oh. Dr. Ro….” Alexa began, but paused as she started blushing badly. Trying to get it to go away, she fanned her face. “Dr. Rogers explained everything. He was very… huh… helpful. He gave me some…. sorry…”
“Don’t be,” Peter said. “Half the patients that come through here have the hots for Rogers.”
“Dr. Quill,” Gamora scolded.
“What? It’s true.”
You simply rolled your eyes. It’s not like Peter was wrong. It was just so annoying because it was true, all the patients did swoon over Steve. Gamora ordered all of you to exit the room. You followed her and stood in front of her when she stopped.
“Okay, assignments,” Dr. Gamora said, looking at some papers. “Val, the Rogers’ need an intern up in the NICU.”
“The Rogers’?” Val repeated. “Like, the both of them? Together? And me by myself with the two married people who hate each other?”
“Go.” Val sighed and walked off. “Natasha you’re on the thoracotomy.”
“With Banner?” Natasha wondered. “Oh, can I have the hateful married couple instead?”
“Okay, I’m sorry, I thought that I was your resident and not your hostess. I assign, you take. Is there a problem with that?”
“No.”
“Is there some reason why it's inconvenient for you to spend the day in the OR, learning from Dr. Banner?”
“No. I'm very happy to be working with Dr. Banner. Thank you very much.” Natasha rushed off.
“Clint and Scott, the pit.” They nodded and left. “Peter, Alexa Rickie is your patient.”
“Yes,” he said quietly before leaving.
“Y/N, you will be doing scut.”
“Excuse me?”
“I can tell you’re still distracted from the Rogers’ drama, and you need to find some focus.”
“I’m plenty focused.”
“Prove that to me today.”
~~~
Val stood by Peggy in the NICU as Steve went over a baby’s chart.
“Where’s the mother?” Steve asked.
“Gone,” Peggy answered. “She stuck around long enough to get the kid strung out and then took off. Sound familiar?”
“Peggy!”
“Steve, I know it’s a long shot. I know that.”
“You told me you had a newborn with an invasive mash. You fail to mention that she's premature, underweight and addicted to narcotics. There's no way that this baby is going to survive spinal surgery.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Even if she does, she's a mess. She'll just get meningitis seizures. She's going to live a short painful life.”
“You don’t know that.”
“It’s my job to know that.”
“You’re not God, Steve.”
“Excuse me?”
“I'm sorry honey but you're not. You don't get to decide—“
“Wait, did you just call me honey? Don’t call me honey!”
Val tried to focus on the baby as the conversation grew more uncomfortable.
“Fine,” Peggy conceded. “You’re not God, Dr. Rogers. Look if a patient has any chance at survival, which I think she does, then you have a responsibility—“
“Don’t talk to me about responsibility,” Steve retorted.
“You took an oath Steve!”
“Oh, don��t you dare talk to me about oaths!”
“Steve, I messed up. People mess up.”
“You slept with my best friend in my favorite sheets.”
“The flannel sheets? You hate the flannel sheets.”
“No, I love the sheets.”
“You like the Italian sheets with the paisleys—“
“Would you just stop talking about the sheets?”
“Fine!”
“Look I’m sorry. I’m just gonna go,” Val interrupted. “I’ll go check on the labs.” She couldn’t leave the room fast enough.
“Peggy, don’t do this,” Steve said.
“Steve… look she’s a fighter,” Peggy watched the baby girl. “Look how far she’s come already.”
“Don’t get attached. Don’t get involved. Just… don’t make her life more painful than it already is.”
“Steve, please. She has nobody. She needs someone to fight for her.”
“She’s too far gone. You have to let her go. Let her go in peace.” Steve started to head out.
“Fine Steve, walk away. It’s what you do best.”
~~~
“How are you holding up today?” Tony asked, cup of coffee in hand as he walked beside you.
“Fine,” you responded.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“I heard Gamora has you on scut today.”
You scoffed. “It’s ridiculous. She’s questioning if I’m focused.”
“She’s just making sure you’re alright. It’s her way of showing she cares.”
“Stupid way. Can you just put me on one of your cases for the day? I desperately need it.”
“Fine. Come on, I have a surgery in 30 minutes. You can scrub in.”
~~~
Natasha rushed into Dr. Banner’s surgery that had already began. She wasn’t feeling well and had spent a majority of the day in the bathroom. A nurse quickly handed her a gown.
“Here, Dr. Romanoff,” the nurse said.
“You’re late,” Bruce commented, focused on the surgery.
“I apologize,” Natasha responded, merging into the group of others that were watching.
“Just starting to dissect around Mr. Jackson’s tumor… I’ve almost got visualization.”
Natasha let out a shaky breath, as her head pounded. She had no idea what was going on, but she wasn’t willing to sit out on this surgery. She was already mad at herself for being late.
~~~
Val walked into the NICU with the baby’s chart. Peggy was watching over the baby who was gripping onto her finger.
“She’s got a good grip,” Val commented.
“Yeah,” Peggy agreed.
“I don’t think…” Val sighed, handing the chart over to Peggy. “It doesn’t look good.”
“She's a got a resistant strain of pneumococcus. The antibiotics aren't working. You may want to get yourself reassigned Val. I don't think we'll be operating today.”
“So do you think Dr. Rogers was right?”
“She’s just too far gone… she does have a good grip… I hate admitting that he’s right. Especially right now.”
~~~
Natasha was getting more exhausted with each passing second, and sweaty.
“The tumor has infiltrated the pericardium,” Bruce stated. Looking up, he sees Natasha looking like she’s day dreaming. “Romanoff! Romanoff!”
“What… sorry?” Natasha answered, the world around her muffled.
“Is my surgery interrupting your daydreaming?”
“No. Sorry.”
“There is an arrhythmia when I press down on the tumor. That is a sign of what, Romanoff?”
“Umm…. Ah. It’s a sign of, it’s a… it’s a sign that the uh, tumor has infiltrated the pericardium.”
“Possibilities?”
“In all… I’m sorry. I…”
“Do your homework, Romanoff. It could be causing a tear in the aortic muscle of the heart.”
“So he’s got a broken heart,” another doctor commented.
Panting, Natasha swayed before collapsing on the floor. A few of the doctors let out exclamations of surprise. From the gallery, Gamora, Scott, and Val saw everything. They quickly headed down to the OR.
“Dr. Romanoff, are you okay?” A doctor asked, kneeling beside her.
“Natasha,” Bruce called. “Natasha. Somebody help her!” He stopped surgery, but hadn’t moved from his spot. “Natasha! Don’t just stand there, dammit. Somebody help her. Get a gurney in here!”
Gamora, Val, and Scott rushed in with a gunnery and supplies.
“Natasha,” Bruce called again.
“Natasha,” Val repeated, getting down beside her friend.
“We’ve got it Dr. Banner,” Gamora said. “We’ve got it.” She put a breathing mask on Natasha’s face.
“Okay, talk to me. Tell me what we do we know,” Bruce ordered. “What do we know? Talk to me Valkyrie.”
“I don’t know,” Val responded.
“Come on people let’s move.”
“Natasha!” Gamora called. “What hurts?” Nat didn’t respond, but was conscious. “Let’s get her out of here. There’s a patient on the table. Lift.” They lifted Natasha onto the gurney and started moving her from the OR. “Good, good.”
“Dr. Gamora, when you get her stabilized, I need a report please.”
“Right, Dr. Banner!” They quickly move Natasha out and down the hall. “Uh! Her pulse is racing. I need her on a monitor to get a BP. Also I want her started on a liter of LR wide open. Val run ahead to emergency and let them know we're on our way.”
Val noticed that Natasha was trying to talk. She removed her friends mask. “What?” Val questioned.
“Seven weeks,” Natasha said, breathless. “I’m pregnant, Val. I’m pregnant.”
Val, Scott, and Gamora stopped and looked out each other. They moved the gurney into an elevator.
“Okay, no. We’re going to pre-op instead,” Gamora instructed. “Val, find Peggy Rogers. And be discreet.”
Val nodded and hurried off. She found Peggy with Fury and Clint near one of the nurses stations.
“Excuse me, Dr. Rogers. We need you fast,” Val said. “Um.. it’s Natasha, one of our interns. She’s…. she’s collapsed.”
“Natasha’s collapsed?” Clint repeated.
“Why do you need me?” Peggy asked.
Val sighed, not saying anything. Comprehension dawned on both Peggy and Fury, realizing that she must be pregnant. Clint looked at them, getting it too.”
“Natasha’s pregnant?!” Clint exclaimed.
“Shut up Clint,” Val scolded, before turning to Peggy. “Please come.”
“Of course,” Peggy agreed, following Val.
~~~
“Thank you for that, Tony,” you said, scrubbing out of surgery beside the attending. “I really needed it.”
“Of course,” he responded.
“Y/N,” Clint said, bursting into the scrub room.
“Clint?” You questioned. You studied him, realizing that there was something wrong. “What is it?”
“It’s Natasha.”
~~~
In pre-op, Peggy was performing an ultrasound on Natasha. Dr. Gamora was standing behind Nat’s bed, stroking her hair.
“Have you notified the father?” Peggy asked.
Natasha didn’t answer, simply breathing funny.
“Natasha? Natasha?” Gamora called. “Natasha? Is there anyone we can call?” Natasha just continued to gasp slightly. “Oh we’re losing her.”
“Do you see that?” Peggy asked, pointing at the screen displaying Natasha’s uterus. “It’s an extra uterine pregnancy in the tube there. She’s bleeding out. We need to get her to surgery immediately.”
They rushed Natasha to surgery and immediately got started. Gamora was still behind Natasha, watching over her, asVal observed the surgery.
“She’s gonna be okay, right?” Val worried.
“How attached was she to this pregnancy?” Peggy asked.
“I don’t know. She’s a pretty private person.”
“She's lost a lot of blood but I've got it from here. Dr. Gamora you must have a surgery or two of your own today.”
“I’m fine right here,” Gamora responded, keeping her eyes on Natasha.
~~~
You were rushing through the hall, trying to find out any information on Natasha and her condition. You were so incredibly worried about her, which didn’t help your already bubbling emotions. Rounding a corner, you rammed right into a chest. Hands grabbed your arms to steady you. You looked up to see Steve, looking down at you with concern. Just looking into his eyes, made you want to break down in his arms. Which was so extremely frustrating. You pushed back out of his grasp, causing Steve to hold up his arms in defense.
“Don’t!” You said sharply.
“Sorry,” Steve said.
“Don’t be sorry. I’m so tired of it, Of you being sorry.”
“Dr.—“
“Don’t do it!”
“Dr. L/N—“ He glanced around as you began causing a scene.
“Dr. L/N, seriously? Are you concerned about people finding out about us? Is that what matters to you?”
“Y/N, it’s okay.”
“It’s not okay! You have a wife who’s not easy to hate. Who’s annoyingly kind and painfully smart and I pretty sure that she’s current saving my best friend’s life.”
“Y/N, just—“
“Don’t! Stop talking to me like you’re my boyfriend! Stop talking to me at all.”
You rushed away, finding the OR that Natasha was being operated in. You opened the door. But before you could get fully into the room, Gamora saw you and came up to you.
“Need something?” Gamora questioned.
“I’m coming in,” you stated.
“No, you’re not.”
“I am. I’m her friend.”
“Exactly. She's lying on the operating table, naked, exposed. She's sedated but she's probably scared out of her mind. Now right now she's not a doctor. She's not your friend. She's a patient and she deserves to have all the privacy I can give her. You're not going any further.”
“We went jogging this morning,” you sighed. “I made her go jogging. Did I… is there a way that it could of….”
“No.” Gamora shook her head. “It started out this way. Nothing caused it to happen.”
“Just, please, let me stay by her side.”
“You can try. But I’d have to take you down.”
“Right now. Just in this moment. I hate you.”
“Yeah, well, I can take it. Focus on scut and wait outside.”
~~~
You found yourself working on scut in the lobby, trying to keep your mind off your friend in surgery. Steve stood far off, watching you. He couldn’t stop feeling terrible for what he had done to you, and he couldn’t stop loving you. Knowing that you wouldn’t want to be comforted by him, he found himself in the NICU, checking up on the premie baby Peggy had asked him to help on.
“Look at that, BP is stabilizing,” Peggy noted as she entered the NICU.
“She’s stronger since this morning,” Steve said, rocking slightly in the rocking chair next to the baby. “There’s no reason in the world why she should be stronger since this morning.”
“She’s really beautiful, isn’t she?”
“I’ll tell you what. If she makes it through the night, if she has a little bit more strength, I’ll operate.” They gave each other small smiles.
“You know the way I see it we could deal with us in one of three ways. Option 1. I could apologize. You could forgive me and come home and we could move on with our lives like adults. Or, option 2. I could apologize. You could forgive me, come home but, you can still bring it up to use against me whenever we argue.”
“Are you trying to be funny?”
“Satan has a sense of humor.”
“What’s the third?”
“I don’t know what the third option is.” She leaned in and kissed Steve, who kissed back. Slowly, she pulled away. “I just know that I still love you.”
~~~
Waking up, Natasha glanced around the hospital room. Her eyes stopped roaming when she noticed Gamora sitting in a chair beside her.
“What happened?” Natasha asked.
“You had an extra uterine pregnancy. Your left fallopian tube burst,” Gamora explained. “Dr. Rogers… she did everything she could but there was too much damage. She couldn't save the tube.”
Natasha didn’t respond, she simply looked away and closed her eyes.
~~~
You were sitting outside the medical center on a bench. It had been an emotional day and you were finally allowing yourself to cry. Walking out of the hospital to leave, Steve noticed you. But hadn’t noticed that you were crying yet.
“Y/N?” Steve called softly.
“Oh,” you gasped, trying to wipe the tears quickly.
“Y/N.” Steve came around to the side.
“Don’t…” You swallowed. “Please, please just don’t’ say anything.”
“Okay.”
He stood there, watching you try to pull yourself together before you quickly got up. You walked over, stopping in front of him.
“I’m just exhausted,” you sighed. “Missing my parents is exhausting. What happened to Natasha and you is… hating you is the most exhausting.” Without much thinking, you grabbed his face and briefly kissed Steve. “I don’t want to do it anymore.”
You headed back into the hospital, leaving Steve stunned.
next chapter >
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xpeachesncream · 4 years ago
Text
acquainted | three
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summary: the biggest goal of a grad student is to get through school in one piece - no petty drama involved, no sweating over the little things. however, that plan almost always never follows through. sometimes, you can’t help but fall into the most unthinkable, unexpected traps and learn the hard way. like, exhibit a: being unable to resist your engaged, substitute teacher, kim seokjin.
pairing: (2nd bts member to be revealed later on) x reader x engaged!teacher!seokjin
genre: grad school au, student life au | fluff, angst, smut (to come)
words: 2.0k
warnings: hoe-ish thoughts / implied sexual content, cussing, mentions of death/car accident, your friends being extra like always
notes: flashback scene towards the last half of the chapter. start and end of flashback will be indicated!
tags: @laurynne5​, @yiyi4657​, @bluesharksandfish​, @miinoongi​ @teamtardis-notdead​ (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)
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It was a cold morning, with the wind slowly picking up, bringing the clouds over from across the bay. You grabbed yourself a cup of coffee and sat on a table near the food cart on campus, finishing up your last items on your to-do list for work. You didn't wanna sit in the office for remainder of the day, and luckily, your job gave you that flexibility. You rubbed your hands together, hoping it could provide some relief to the cold taking over. You were too lazy to make your move at this point, and Mr. Kim's [or shall we say Jin since we aren't in a classroom right now] class wasn't too far away from where you were sitting. It'd be an easy, breezy walk.
Your brain felt foggy; even though you didn't have much left on your to-do list, you couldn't seem to focus and you knew why. Chance's death anniversary was coming up, and it was always something you dreaded. You wish you could skip the day and continue on with the week without having to revisit shit like this. Your friends are your biggest support systems, but they too, have their own lives to tend to. And as much as they tried to physically be there for you, sometimes it just didn't end up happening that way.
"Miss Y/N, are you doing alright?" You looked up to see Jin standing in front of you, a concerned expression plastered on his face while he held his cup of coffee.
"Oh yeah, sorry. Just spaced out trying to get things done for work."
"No need to apologize. I feel that, 100%." He chuckled. "Mind if I sit for a minute?" You shook your head and moved your things closer to you so he had some room for himself. "Glad to see you got home in one piece."
"Sure did." You smiled at him, tilting your head slightly to get a good look at his handsome ass face while he brings up his foot to rest on his knee. Honest question: is it ever too early for hoe thoughts to make an appearance?
Did I put on deodorant today?
"You work nearby?" He sipped on his coffee and glanced at you.
"Yeah, I work for a cloud-based software company as a project manager. Sometimes, I'll help chime in with graphic design projects too, if I'm not too swamped." He nodded.
"That's pretty amazing."
"What about you? I assume this isn't your only gig." He chuckled.
"You're right, it's not. I, uh-" He paused. "I'm a CFO for a tech company in the city." Your eyes widened. Handsome, and a fucking boss? You have got to be kidding me.
"W-wow. Holy shit." You quickly shook your head and shut your eyes in embarrassment. "Sorry, holy crap." You corrected your previous statement.
"Y/N, I don't care if you cuss." He laughed. "I'm a 30 year old man who still finds the need to slip it in between every other word when I'm not in class."
"Sorry, just— holy fuck. I wasn't really expecting that, but good on you!"
"What do I look like to you? Honest question."
"Oh, I mean. I just thought you worked in business or something like that. As someone important, but not that important. I-I mean—"You sighed and pursed your lips into a fine line. "You know what I mean, I hope."
"I think I do, don't worry." He smiled, feeling slightly amused with how cute you were acting.
"You must be really busy all the time."
"Mm, no actually. I do have quite a few meetings and deadlines to reach but other than that, it's not too bad." You rested your chin on the palm of your hand. "Are you from here?"
"I am, born and raised. Are you?" He shook his head and slightly pouted.
"I moved here a couple of years ago from Seattle when my fiancé Grace started to get serious about her cooking. She wanted to open her first restaurant here."
"Oh, that's neat. She's a chef?" Stupid question, but you weren't sure how else to keep the conversation going about his soon-to-be wifey.
"Yep. She's a wonder woman, for sure." He pauses to sip more of his coffee. "Do you have family members that live around here?"
"Yeah I do, my parents live about 30 minutes away from here. I go and visit them when I can. But sometimes, I get too occupied with work and school that I just long for time to myself. Being 25, you'd think I could handle more but I'm still learning how to balance my time, I guess." He nods. He's a little relieved to hear you aren't that far off in age, to be honest. He wasn't sure if he was being weird harmlessly getting to know his students. He genuinely wanted to build relationships with them so they didn't think he was a professor they couldn't turn to. However, when it came to you, he couldn't help but feel slightly captivated. He was impressed with the way you carried yourself, down to how you'd participate in class and how you didn't come off like a student who hated every fucking professor they came across in their academic career. He appreciated the tiny details. "Not gonna lie though, I do get a little homesick whenever I don't get to visit for awhile, even though they don't live far. Truly makes me appreciate having my friends around."
"Ryujin, Taehyung and Jimin? No siblings?" He asks. Impressive. He paid attention.  Although, it's definitely not hard to figure out when you four were constantly [for the most part] stuck at the hip.
"Yup, those punks. I'm the only child so they've become family to me." You smiled hearing your friends' names. They honestly meant the world to you, and you weren't sure where you'd be without them.
"That's sweet. It's good to have people like that on your side of the court."
There was silence for a moment, with Jin looking at you over the rim of his cup, while you tried your hardest to keep yourself together. You felt the heat radiating throughout your body the longer you kept your gaze on him, the tension slightly building. You were a little relieved he didn't bounce the question back about your love life or anything regarding the matter. You almost feel guilty that you're digging pretty deeply into this situation yet again, but you felt comfortable with the way the conversation was going and the energy he was exuding.
"I, um--" You pause as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. He keeps the same gaze on you, almost like he's trying to figure out what you'll say next by reading you and your body language. "I hope--"
"Y/N!" You hear Taehyung's deep ass voice yell for you from behind. "Oh fuck, sorry dude. Am I interrupting something?" To be quite frank, you were happy Taehyung interrupted when he did because you were just about to tell Jin how good he looked, respectfully, of course. You were going to keep it PG and comment on the tie he was wearing and how the pattern complimented him and the rest of his outfit.
"No, not at all." Jin chuckles. "We were just wrapping up, I have to get going." He stands and smiles at the both of you. "See you both in class soon."
"Peace out, Mr. Kim." Taehyung throws up the peace sign like a dumbass as you both watch him take his exit and walk towards his classroom.
"Peace out, Mr. Kim? Really, Tae?"
"I mean, he seems cool enough for me to do that, don't you think?" You shake your head and continue finishing up your work on your work laptop. "What was that about? Are you in trouble already? What'd you do?"
"Why do you have like, so much fucking energy right now?"
"I downed two redbulls before I got here."
"You're an idiot."
"Me and Jimin were up all night hunting."
"I stand corrected— you both are idiots." Taehyung clicks his tongue before raising his eyebrow, manspreading and leaning back into the chair.
"So, what was that really about?"
"We just had a chat!"
"Sure. You both were definitely eye-fucking each other. It was weird to walk into."
"Not everyone is like you, trying to fuck everything they see." You rolled your eyes. "He had just sat here for a minute and we talked about work and where we were from."
"Okay." He snorts and shrugs.
"You're being so dramatic. It was harmless."
"Definitely looked otherwise."
"You weren't even here for the majority of our conversation?"
"Didn't have to be, sweetheart." He winked, playfully caressing your chin. "Your secret is safe with me."
"You are so full of shit. I don't know how I've dealt with you for so long."
"Who's so full of shit?" Ryujin comes strolling along, with a tired Jimin who was sipping on an iced americano. He wore a cap and sunglasses with sweats and a fitted crewneck, looking like he just rolled the fuck out of bed.
"Taehyung, who else?" You both stood up to start slowly walking towards Mr. Kim's classroom. "Are you okay, Chim?" You asked, genuinely worried about him, but also trying to change the subject.
"Tired. Just tired." He shakes his head, lowering his the brim of his cap even more. "This dumbass kept messing up our hunt last night."
"I didn't mess anything up, you just weren't clear on the directions." Jimin smacked him upside the head. "And Y/N's just mad I caught her and Mr. Kim on a date." Ryujin gasped, while Jimin choked on his iced americano and coughed trying to get himself together.
"Excuse me, come again?" Ryujin squeezes your arm, causing you to slightly wince in pain before you can shake her off.
"Tae, really?" You rolled your eyes. "It wasn't a date! He just sat with me for a minute and we talked for a little bit. That's literally it."
"You forgot the part where you both were eye-fucking each other when I came along."
"What the fuck is even going on right now?" Jimin finally chimed in, making you sigh deeply.
"We were not!" You pushed Tae. "You're such an instigator."
"First, helping you with your groceries, now this? I didn't think you had it in you, girl! Actually pursuing an engaged professor." Ryujin joked, making herself laugh out loud. Jimin is now walking alongside of you, while Taehyung throws his arms around both you and Ryujin, swinging his big ass head back and forth between the both of you.
"He helped you with groceries last night? What?" Jimin is honestly so confused and is unable to keep up with the chaotic conversation.
"Look, I just ran into him at Trader Joes and he offered to bring my groceries to my car since it was getting late. And today, we just ended up talking for a little bit. That's it. Can we drop this?"
"Mr. Kim has the hots for Y/N!" Ryujin teased.
"That's it. I'm going to find new friends." You shrugged. "Unbelievable." Did they not listen to one word you just said?
"You should go for it and have fun." Taehyung winked.
"No, no. She shouldn't go for him or do anything." Jimin states loud and clear, making sure he grabs both Ryujin and Taehyung's attention by waving his hand in the air.
"Ah, come on Chim, it's just a little fun."
"Ry." Jimin says sternly.
"Okay, kidding." She rolls her eyes.
"This is getting so out of hand." You say as you all approached the door to Mr. Kim's classroom.
"Hey Mr. Kim." Ryujin waved her hand playfully, followed by Jimin and Taehyung who simply nodded and gave him a toothless smile. He happily returns her greeting, then flashes a small smirk as you pass him while arranging the papers on the front desk.
"Hmph." Ryujin smirks. "Told you so." You roll your eyes.
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Chance's death anniversary arrives quicker than you'd like, causing you to pick yourself up and force yourself to get on with the day whether you like it or not. After work, you quickly visited his grave at the cemetery, balling your eyes out as you spend quite awhile sitting in silence, staring at his photo on the tombstone. Every memory, every good and bad moment that you shared with Chance flashed right before your eyes.
It was irreplaceable.
[ start flashback ]
"So, who would you want next to you if the end of the world was coming?"  You kept your gaze on the 'List of questions to ask your significant other' photo on your phone.
"What kind of morbid question is that?" Chance laughed as he continued to hug you tightly while you laid on his chest. "You, of course."
"Aw, thanks bebe. Same here."
"Are there any happy questions in there?" He scrolled down the list. "Like this one - what's the cutest thing your partner has ever done for you?"
"When we had dinner on a boat and you sang to me and everyone else having dinner." You laughed.
"Yeah, that was pretty cute wasn't it?"
"Shut up." You playfully covered his mouth. "Your turn."
"The cutest thing you've done? I don't know sweetheart, you've done a ton of cute things. I'd have to say you waking up next to me. It reminds me how real you are." You smiled and pecked him on the lips.
"I love you, chance."
"I love you too." He says almost at a whisper while caressing your chin. He was pulled out of the moment when his phone rang. "Ayo." He says. You watch as his facial expression changes. "For fuck's sake man, alright. Hang tight, I'll be there. Yo, don't be stupid and drive home drunk. I'm about to leave, okay? Your ass better be there by the time I get there." He sighed as he hung up the phone.
"What's wrong?"
"Josh is drunk as hell. I'm gonna go pick him up before he does something stupid."
"Can't he find a ride there?"
"Everybody left him. I can't just leave him there."
"I know, but--"
"It's gonna be fine, okay baby? I promise. I'll be back before you know it."
"Alright." You sighed. "Be safe, please."
"I will."
[ end flashback ]
When you finally arrived at school, you checked out your appearance to make sure you looked decent enough to get through class. You were hoping your psychology classes would go by quickly, just so you could get out of there and feel less suffocated.
"I'm sorry I can't come over." Ryujin pulls you into a tight hug and caresses your back. She had planned to spend time with you, but her sister called her last minute to ask if she could babysit her niece until late night. "But let me know if you need me, okay? I don't care if it's 1AM, I'll be there as soon as I can."
"Same. I'll do what I can to get out of this family thing." Jimin gives your arm a gentle squeeze. Jimin's family was visiting from Korea on a whim, so he had been pulled into some family festivities for the evening.
"Look, you guys. I'll be fine, okay? Don't worry about me. You know I love you both no matter what, do what you need to do."
"I'll text you when I'm on my way?" Taehyung is the only one who is able to spend time with you tonight, after he helps his younger brother with a project. You simply nodded before you split ways with your group and headed for the library. You were going to stick around and do some work at the library until Taehyung was free because there was no way you were going to go home alone, feeling the way you were feeling. You weren't going to get anything done, and you weren't going to have the energy to pull yourself together.
Today was heavy.
The library wasn't any better for you because your thoughts seemed to be louder in such a huge, quiet space. You were looking at the clock time and time again, hoping Taehyung would text you, letting you know he'd be on his way with tons of dessert and wine. Just cause that's what you wanted, right at this moment.
You sighed and cracked your neck from side to side, getting yourself into Steph Curry "Lock in" mode so you can push through your assignments that needed to get done. But, it just didn't happen that way. You were becoming frustrated and restless, so you quickly packed up your things and shoved them into your bag before walking out. The campus was lit with street lights, with barely any students walking around. It felt a little eery, but the walk to the lot wasn't too bad being that the garage was well-lit, with security guards on every level. You felt your phone buzz in your pocket, causing you to try and reach for it even though you were hauling the rest of the books that didn't fit in your bag. Next thing you knew, you had your phone, but your books had fallen to the floor, the papers stuffed in them falling out and getting wet from the wet grass next to the concrete walkway.
"Fuck!" You groaned to yourself as you quickly glanced at Taehyung's 'be there in about 30 minutes or so' text and bent down to pick up your mess. You really had no reason to cry over this shit, but all of the pent up frustration and emotions you had been feeling today pushed you over the edge. You aggressively wiped your tears away as you stuffed your wet papers back into the books and stacked them on top of each other.
"Y/N?" You look up to see Jin, tears still falling from your eyes. "Are you alright?" He bends down to help you gather your books, towering over you as he gathers the majority of your things.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you." You slyly wiped your tears once more as you grabbed the books from him.
"Hey." He placed his hand out to prevent you from walking any further. You look up at him, watching as he dips his head down to examine your face, your eyes still wet and glossy from the tears. "Do you wanna talk about it?"
"Look, I'm fine and I don't wanna take time away--"
"You clearly aren't." His expression fills with worry. "And you aren't going to be taking time out of my evening." He finishes your statement for you. You sigh and close your eyes as your head dips lowly.
"It's just been a tough day, that's all."
"Let's talk about it." You look up at him as he nods for you to follow him to a bench near the parking garage. "Come on. I really won't forgive myself if I went home without trying to help." You silently follow him and place your things down before sitting. He sits next to you, with enough space placed between your position and his. "What's on your mind, Y/N?"
"Um." You pause and look at him. "On this day 3 years ago, I lost the love of my life to a car accident." You wiped your tears in between words. Jin's expression softened as he watched you break down in front of him, his heart breaking seeing you in pain like this. He wanted to do everything in his power to comfort you, hoping it would relieve some of the pain even though he knew it was something that would forever be embedded in you. But if he could provide any relief, then that would make him feel a little better.
[ start flashback ]
"It's been close to two hours, where the hell is he?" You said as you looked at your phone, sitting on the couch as you, Ryujin, Taehyung and Jimin watched a movie. Suddenly, breaking news flashed through the screen, cutting the movie to another commercial break earlier than expected.
"Breaking news - a white Lexus sports car and a Ford truck were involved in a head-on collision early this morning on Highway 101."
"O-oh my god." Ryujin says, as they look at the totaled cars. The Lexus was completely sandwiched at the median, while the truck was wrecked, but still stood in one piece off to the side.
"T-that's Chance's car." You said as you put your drink down on the coffee table to take a closer look at the car.
"Y/N, I'm sure Chance is fine and is on his way back." Taehyung chimed in from behind you.
"N-no." You stuttered, the feeling of despair in the pit of your stomach growing bigger by the minute. "N-no, I know his car."
"We might just be overthinking this." Jimin says, gently grabbing your wrist to pull you back down onto the couch, but you continued to stand.
"There was said to be one intoxicated passenger in the white Lexus, who is in critical condition and is being taken to the nearby trauma center. The driver of the truck was also intoxicated and injured, but is expected to survive. However, the driver of the white Lexus was pronounced dead at the scene." All of a sudden, you felt weak and dizzy because you just knew. You knew Chance wasn't okay, and you knew he wasn't on his way back to you. Soon after the news announcement, loud knocks came at the door. You looked back at your friends before making your way to the door, revealing two police officers standing before you. At this point, you felt like your entire life had been sucked out of you as you fell onto the floor, crying loudly while your friends tried their best to comfort you and speak to the officers for you. All you could remember hearing was the "i'm sorry's" from both police officers before everything turned into white noise. Everything felt numb.
[ end flashback ]
"I am so sorry, Y/N. I know my apologies are going to do much to ease the pain, but please know that I'm here for you whenever you need someone to talk to. I wanna do what I can to provide some relief." Is all Jin says as you continue to divulge about that night's details.
"You know," You looked up at the moon. "It's been 3 years, but it feels like it just happened yesterday. The pain always feels so fresh and it still feels so painful to think about it. It used to make me question why I was so deserving to continue living my life. I'm not an angel, I haven't been perfect. You know? Yet, someone who was so close to perfect, someone who was always so selfless and never hesitated to put others before himself was taken away from this world so easily? How did Josh survive, but Chance didn't? He was just going to help his friend out because he didn't want anything to happen to him, yet he ended up getting the short end of the stick. I was so mad." You shook your head. "I was so mad at Josh for awhile. I never understood and I still don't. I still don't fucking understand this." Your tears fell as you looked back at Jin.
"I can only imagine. There's things we'll never understand and quite frankly, it fucking sucks. But, I really don't want you to beat yourself up over this. I'm sure Chance wouldn't want you to, either. A lot of things happen for a reason, whether we like it or not, and it's hard to look at it in a different perspective. He's still with you, all the time. You're strong, and he knows this."
"I just don't know how I did this without him. It hurts so bad."
"I know, and it's okay to let yourself ride it out. Don't try and suppress the feelings just because you feel the need to act strong. If you don't let yourself process these feelings, it'll never get easier. It's okay to not be okay." He nods reassuringly. You smile at him toothlessly before sighing and getting yourself together. Although it had been quite the day, you felt a little relieved being able to talk to Jin about what's been going on. You felt a little more put together than you did earlier in the day and that's all that mattered. Baby steps.
"Is it okay if I give you a hug?" You asked shyly. You didn't know how else you could thank him for listening to you. You were sure he had tons of things on his plate, yet he still took time to sit with you out in the cold just to make sure you were okay. He chuckles and stands, his arms wide open, ready to envelope you. You wrap your arms around his torso, taking in his scent and breathing him in. He gently rubs your back before you pull away and smile up at him.
"I'll take a hug any day."
"I hope Grace won't be upset with you for coming home a little later than expected."
"She'll be fine. She's at the restaurant working late." His lips were pulled together in a fine line.
"Thank you again." You pull out your phone to check the time. 30 minutes from the last time Taehyung texted you was almost up, so you felt the need to get going sooner than later.
"It's not a problem." He puts his hand out, signaling for your phone. "Do me a favor and just let me when you get home, though? I'd feel better knowing you're safe and sound." You nod and hand him your phone. You knew you couldn't get wrapped up in whatever this was, no matter how flattered you were from the attention you were getting from him. He was still engaged, and he was still planning a life with Grace. The last thing you wanted to do was ruin that for someone genuine like Jin.
But God, was he making it difficult for you.
"I can do that."
"Thanks." He smiles toothlessly at you. "If you're ever in need of company or someone to talk to, don't hesitate to let me know. I'll be there in a heartbeat."
"Okay." You grabbed your things before walking away. Jin stood there, watching you walk deeper into the garage, feeling good about having been there at the right time. Something as simple as the hug you gave him had his thoughts running wild, just feeling your touch and your body against his. Albeit, it could be the lack of attention between him and Grace causing him to feel this way, but it was enticing all at the same time.
You were enticing.
And he could pick up on your little habits that made him want to know more. The way you'd look at him inside and outside of class. The way you always dressed so nicely when you had to take his class. The way you passed closely to the front desk, allowing him to take in your scent. The way you and your friends acted around him, knowing they were teasing you.
He knew, and he also knew what he was doing when he put his number in your phone.
He gets home and just as he mentions, Grace is still out at the restaurant working late. He kicks his shoes off to the side and heats up some leftovers to eat before retreating up to the master bedroom to call it a night early. As he's getting out of his clothes from today and heading into the shower, he notices his phone vibrating on the bathroom countertop, signaling a text.
[unknown number] 9:37pm: Hi, I'm safe and sound at home. :)
He smiles to himself before responding and heading into the shower.
[jin] 9:38pm: :) Goodnight Y/N, see you tomorrow.
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tweedlydumbtweedlydoo · 4 years ago
Text
Seattle Grace | Drew Starkey x reader
Requested by anon // Summary: Grey’s Anatomy characters x obx actors cross over. You’re a doctor and starting your internship at Seattle Grace Hospital. You and Drew have a fight about you working too much and the argument ends in breaking things off.
A/N: apologies for any mistakes, did not proof read because I wanted to get this out. I actually really enjoyed writing this! Hope you guys like this little crossover 
Tag list is at the end. Let me know if you want to be added xx
**MASTERLIST**
Requests: OPEN {CLOSED}
** Rules for Requesting **
** Who I Write For **
********************************************************************************************NOT MY PHOTO
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“You work too much!” Drew shouts. You’d started your internship at Seattle Grace Hospital, your dream hospital. However, your boyfriend Drew, wasn’t a fan about your work schedule. He’d be moving back out to South Carolina for the summer while filming Outer Banks season 2 and found out your hours only increased during the summer months, which meant you wouldn’t be coming out to visit him like you’ve been doing.
“It’s an internship, Drew! What did you expect? Me to be able to pick my hours?!” You argue back, throwing your hands up in frustration as you two argue in the middle of your shared bedroom. “It’s either I work the hours they give me, or I lose the internship! There’s no picking and choosing!”
“I never see you anymore, y/n. You work all hours of the day and when you do arrive home, you’re exhausted and want to sleep the rest of the night or day away.”
Before you can answer him, your phone rings on the bed. Drew laughs half-heartedly when he sees the name and photo pop up on the screen and runs his hands over his face, “of course he’d fucking be calling you!”
You reach over the bed and grab your phone.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if you two are screwing behind my back!”
“Oh, fuck you Drew! You know Alex and I are just friends! We’ve been friends since the start of college!” You turn and face him, your phone going off once more.
“If you answer that phone, we’re done.” Drew points to your phone.
You look at him like he’s crazy, “You’re not serious.” You breath out. The phone stops ringing but Alex rings you once more.
“I’m dead serious, y/n.”
“Drew, I have to answer this. He’s on shift at the hospital tonight. Something could have gone wrong.”
“Fine.” He runs a hand over his hair, “answer “your fucking person.””
You take a shakey breath and answer the phone, “Hello?” You glance up at Drew, listening to Alex. “Okay… yeah…. I didn’t hear it… I know… okay… bye.” You hang up and head for your closet, “I have to go.”
Drew shakes his head, “Yeah, alright. Of course you do. Can’t even get through a conversation without you rushing off to Alex.”
You pull your scrubs from the closet, “Drew, there’s been a horrible accident in the city and the hospital is understaffed. I have to go.” You toss your scrubs in your bag and throw it over your shoulder, heading for the front door, Drew following close behind.
“I won’t be here when you get home.” He calls out to you, “I won’t do this anymore.”  
Your hand stops on the doorknob and glance back over your shoulder at Drew. He’d been with you through it all. He’d pushed you to become a doctor, to follow your dreams and now he was giving you an ultimatum, him or your career. Your dream career, your dream job; something you’d busted your ass for. You’d never give up that for a man. You’d worked too damn hard.
You throw open the door and step out, letting it slam shut behind you and walked your way to the hospital.
~
After a 24 hour shift, you’d arrived home to an empty house. Drew’s belongings were gone, along with him. You closed the door and broke down into tears. You didn’t know if it was from exhaustion or the fact your long time boyfriend had broken things off.
You slowly slid down the wall and your butt hit the floor with a thump. You don’t how long you’d been sitting in the floor, but a knock on the door stirred you. You sniffled, “Who is it?”
“It’s Alex and Lexie…”
“We have Chinese and wine.”
Without even standing you open the door and see their head peek in. As soon as they see your state, Lexie takes the food and wine to the kitchen.
“How long have you been here for?” Alex says bending to your level.
You give a small shrug.
He scrunches his nose, “Seems like since you got home.” He lets out a chuckle, “You smell like shit.”
You laugh a little but it then turns into a sob. “He left… he left.”
Alex sighs and sits next to you, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you to his chest, “It’s okay… he didn’t deserve you.” His hand rubs your back as you sob into his chest.
Lexi comes back and sits on the other side of you, leaning her head on your shoulder/arm, taking your hand in hers, “It’s gonna be okay… you’re going to be okay.”
“You got us.” Alex says, “We’ll be here for you.”
~ months later~
Time passed and you still hadn’t heard anything from Drew. However, you of course saw fan photos of him out in South Carolina, whether it be with the rest of the cast or by himself. You hadn’t spoken to any of the cast members since everything happened, which sucked because you were close to Rudy and Madison, but that’s what happens when a couple breaks up.
Drew sits on the couch next to Austin as Chase is flipping through channels. Maddie and Madison are watching tiktoks and Rudy and JD are fixing them something to eat in the kitchen. Drew wasn’t necessarily paying attention to what was on the TV when something caught his eye as Chase changed the channel. “Wait, Chase go back.”
Chase flips the channel back and it’s as if Drew’s whole world fell before his feet. There on the news channel was the hospital, the hospital you are interning at in flames. “SEATLE GRACE IN FLAMES….. 10 DEAD & MULTIPLE INJURED” Drew slowly shifts to the edge of the couch watching in shock, the rest of the cast following when they realize what’s on TV.
“Isn’t that…” Maddie begins.
“where y/n is interning.” He quickly stands and pulls his phone out, dialing your number, but it went straight to voicemail. “She’s not answering.”
Madison slowly rises from the couch, “Drew, I’m sure it’s okay. I’m sure she’s okay. She’s not allowed to have her phone and I’m sure it’s off.”
He begins to pace, dialing your number and once again it goes to voicemail. “What if she’s dead? What if…” His eyes are panicked as he looks on at his friends, “The last thing I said to her was I-I…” His hands run through his hair, “I don’t remember the last thing I said to her.” What if he’d never be able to make things right with you? Tell you how much of an idiot he was? That he still loved you?
Madison grabs Drew’s arm to stop his pacing, “Freaking out isn’t going to help. Why don’t you call her parents? See if they’ve heard from her? You can’t assume the worst Drew.”
Drew called your family, who hadn’t heard from you either and couldn’t get in touch. Drew finally made the decision to hop on a plane and fly out there for you. The cast following as well. ~
It had all happened so quickly. You and Alex were on your way to the cafeteria for lunch and the ground below you had shook. Then the ceiling began to fall, screams and dust everywhere. You called out to Alex, coughing and could hear him calling your name. You went to take a step and that’s when the floor below you gave out.
~
Alex was sitting at your bedside when Drew had come rushing in. He stood from his seat, “What the hell are you doing here?”
Drew looked over at Alex then back at your body laying in the hospital bed. You had a few cuts on your head and arms. “I saw it on the news… and headed straight here.”
“She wouldn’t want you here.” Alex points out the door, “Get out.”
“What are you her boss? How do you know what she would want?”
“Because you left her and you don’t deserve to be here.” Alex steps toward Drew so they’re chest to chest.
“There’s too much testosterone in this room.” You squeak out, coughing.
Alex turned around, grabbing the water and putting the straw to your lips. “Of course you’d have a sarcastic remark…”
Drew moves around your bed to the other side and you took in the man you hadn’t seen for months. The man who broke your heart.
“I told him to get out but the punk wouldn’t listen.” Alex mutters from your bedside.
“I had to make sure you were okay.” Drew remarks, “I saw the fire on the news and flew out as soon as I could..”
You took another sip of the water, “You flew out here? What about filming?”
He glances at the door then back at you, “Kinda can’t film if the whole cast is here… plus we’re on a break.”
“Everyone’s here?”
Drew nods, “We were all worried about you. Had to make sure you were okay.”
“Well don’t just leave them standing out there.. tell them to get their asses in here.” You wince, sitting up a little.
“There was a limit on how many in your room…” Drew begins.
You wave him off, “The nurses love me. They won’t say shit.”
Drew walks over to the door and motions the cast in. Madison was the first to make it to you and pulls you into a gentle hug, “We were so worried.”
~
Everyone stayed in the room for a little while before leaving to give you and Drew time to talk. Alex was reluctant to leave. “He’s a punk that you cried over for months.”
You give his hand a gentle squeeze, “Karev, I promise it’s okay. Go get you a coffee or something.”
He nods and then looks at Drew, narrowing his eyes, and giving him a look before walking out of the room. After the door closes, Drew takes the seat next to you.
“How’s your family doing?” You ask, turning your head to look at him.
“You just got in a horrible accident and you’re asking about my family?” He shakes his head, “You and your caring self… They miss you. Told me I was stupid for breaking things off.”
“They always did love me more..” You tease.
He chuckles and nods, “Yeah.. they really did.”
You reach over and take his hand, “You didn’t have to come out here.”
He peers down at your hand in his. His eyes filling with tears, “I called you and you didn’t answer.” He glimpsed up at you.
Your eyes fill with tears just as you saw his and you lean your head back on the bed, “You know you were the only thing on my mind.. after I fell through the floor. I know you ended things but I never stopped loving you, Drew.” You cast your eyes back to his, “You were what helped me. I just kept remembering little things about you to keep my mind on something else besides the pain.” Your hand reaches up to touch his cheek, “I told myself if I made it through this, I would call you.”
He shakes his head, his other hand taking yours, “I should have called you.. I just knew you’d moved on to some fancy doctor.”
“How could I move on to someone else when my heart was already taken?”
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lils-writes-stuff · 5 years ago
Text
New Beginnings
Spencer Reid x reader
Best Years Season 2 part one | season one
summary: Readers first day back on the job is a lot different then she expected. 
warning: normal criminal minds things, mentions of suicide, fluff at the end (such cute fluff)
A/N: based on season 8 episode 1; so um, the ending is really cute. 
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 “I must say, Agent Y/L/N, I wasn’t expecting this to be the answer,” Strauss said with a disappointed look as she closed her leather folder. 
 “You’re asking me to leave the BAU, how did you expect my answer to not be no,” Y/N said with furrowed brows.
 This is not how Y/N wanted to be welcomed back after her leave. She was gone two months and in that time Strauss decided she wanted to move her to a new unit. That was flat out disrespectful. 
 “Well with Agent Prentiss’s move, I was expecting you to want to be reassigned,” Strauss said, folding her hands on her stomach. “You have made progress here, and other units have seen that and want you on their teams.”
 Y/N looked at her knowing that wasn’t the full truth, Strauss had something to do with this also. She always did. 
 “And I also believe that your time in BAU has been paid and it’s time to do greater things. You could be one of the best fugitive task force agents, your skills I’ve seen are-” 
 “I appreciate that Strauss, really I do, but I’ve made a home at the BAU-” Y/N stood up from the chair- “And I have no plans on moving anytime soon.” 
 With that, she walked out of the office and towards the elevator. The hum of the elevator was quiet and it only boiled her rage. Strauss wasn’t an all-around terrible person, but when it came to work, she always had to have what she wanted. Everything had to be tip-top and work out in her favor, and Y/N guessed Strauss forgot what it’s like to be in the field and work with a team.  
 When the doors dinged open, Y/N swiftly walked out and into Hotch’s office. She didn’t bother to knock, she just opened the door and stood in front of his desk. 
 Hotch looked up from his paperwork with a confused look. “Please, Y/N come in.”
 She huffed, “Sir, do you think that my time has been paid at the BAU?”
 He raised a brow as he looked at her with a confused gaze. “No?”
 “So you would agree that Section Chief Strauss’s opinion to move me to a new unit is unprecedented?”  
 Y/N’s announcement took Hotch by surprise, clearly, he didn’t know about this. He set down his ink pen, signifying his full attention was now on the conversation. 
 “Do you want to be moved?” He asked with a raised eyebrow. 
 “Hell no,” she responded quickly. “She thinks that because Emily left, that ‘I would want to move’-” she used a mocking tone with quotation marks as she quoted Strauss- “Said my skills would be of good use in Fugitive Task Force.” 
 “I can’t make any promises, but I will do everything I can to not have you moved, Y/N.” 
 His words were comforting, but with what happened with JJ a couple of years ago, she wasn’t sure. But that was the state department, this was still in the FBI, so maybe it wouldn’t turn out so bad. 
 Thanking Hotch, she walked out of the office and down the stairs to the bullpen. When she came to the door, she was met with Penelope and Derek. Penelope holding many nick-nacks from her visit to London with Derek to help Emily settle into her new life there. 
 “Garcia, you guys were talking yest-” Penelope cut off Derek as she saw Y/N approach.
 “Y/N!” She exclaimed trotting over to Y/N in her heels to hug her. It was a difficult task with her bag filled arms. “Oh my gosh, I missed you so much.” 
 “I missed you too,” Y/N pulled away from her hug and reached over for Derek. 
 “Hey, Wonder Woman,” he said, giving her a squeeze. 
 “Were you one the last case?” Penelope asked. 
 “No, actually today is my-”
 “Wait, where is everybody else? Don’t tell me they’re still in Seattle,” Penelope interjected when she noticed the empty desks in the office. 
 “I just saw Hotch.” She turned to look at all the empty desks in the bullpen. Her brows furrowed in confusion. 
 “Well actually,” Derek said pointing behind Penelope to JJ and Spencer as they entered. 
 “Hi, you guys are back!” JJ said walking into the office clapping her hands together. 
 Y/N’s face lit up as she saw Spencer. She hadn’t seen him in what felt like forever since he left for the case in Seattle. Her mandatory leave allowed him to come over to hang out with her in a stress-free environment. But then she realized that with the emotional trauma she thought she buried had now bubbled back up, she couldn’t be alone. Her therapist recommended for her to live with Spencer. So when she brought it up with him, he was very enthusiastic about the idea. 
 “Oy, mates! Give me a squeeze,” Penelope said with a fake British accent.
 JJ hugged Penelope then moved to Derek. 
 “Y/N, how have you been?” JJ asked moving to give her a hug. She hadn’t seen her in a while from her busy life at work and at home. 
  “Good, better now that I’m back at work,” she responded with a giggle. 
 Spencer then moved to hug Y/N after doing his odd handshake with Derek. A week and a half was too long without seeing her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and swung her in a circle and pecked her cheek. 
 “You would think they don’t live together or something,” Derek laughed as the happy couple reunited. 
 “Right?” JJ agreed with a laugh. 
 “How’s Emily doing?” Spencer asked once he set Y/N down and turned back to the three beside them. 
 “Brilliant and Lovely.” Penelope continued her accent. 
 “Her apartments off the chain,” Derek said. 
 “You mean her flat,” Penelope corrected his terminology. “You have to take a shaky old lift to get to the top, but the view is brilliant.” 
 Once she finished her statement, she did her excited little gasp and began to pull presents out of her bag.
 “For my favorite bloke.” She handed Spencer a mug with the British flag on it. 
 “Hey, I love it! Thank you!” Spencer responded gratefully.
 She handed JJ a little double-decker bus for her desk, which she thanked her for. 
 “Oh and Y/N, I thought you would love this.” Penelope then pulled a snowglobe the size of her hand out of a different bag. 
 It had Big Ben in the middle, surrounded by the streets of London with little people and cars filling them. 
 “Oh my gosh, this will go perfect with my collection.” Y/N smiled at Penelope and thanked her. She had made it a point when she first joined the team to, if possible, get a snowglobe from every state she visited. She had a lot now, almost all fifty, and an international one was a great thing to add to her collection. 
 “Hey, Morgan, how was temporary duty?” Y/N asked, peeling her eyes off of the beautiful snowglobe. 
 “Oh, it was around the clock,” Derek responded. “I thought I’d get a little more of a vacation, but…”
 “Did you watch the Olympics at all?” Spencer asked.
 “I did see a little track and field, but the queen bee here-” he gestured to Penelope- “She saw everything.”
 “Hey, me too,  that’s all I got to do during my sabbatical, besides talking to my therapist.” Y/N giggled high-fiving Penelope as she related. 
 “Emily is, for real, hooked up over there. She sends her love, and tea of the month starts next week,” Penelope said, her eyes bouncing between the three who weren’t with her. 
 “Oh, I miss her,” JJ said staring absently at the floor behind Penelope.
 “Me too,” Y/N agreed. 
 “Don’t even get me started,” Penelope said shaking her head. “Hey, how’s the new? Is she nice?”
 Penelope was referring to the new team recruit, who had joined during their time in London, and Y/N’s leave. 
 “Yeah, she is,” JJ answered sincerely.
 “Y/N, have you met her?” Penelope turned to Y/N who was standing next to Spencer. 
 “I have yet to meet her, but Spence has told me about her,” Y/N responded. 
 “I’m just asking. Reid-” Penelope whipped her head to make eye contact with Spencer- “Do you know she was recruited when she was 24?” 
 “I’ve guest lectured in her forensics linguistics class before,” Spencer said. 
 “Of course you have, cause she's a professor and an agent, which is so impressive,” Penelope muttered. 
 “No, really, she’s great,” JJ said trying to convince Penelope that this change was good. 
 “Mm-hmm, and driven, clearly. Berkely grad, double major, bureau star of the Unabomber case, and she teaches at George town,” Penelope said, reciting everything she knew about this woman from her research. 
 “When she’s not doing that, she’s SSAing at the Washington Field Office. And she has her PhD. does that mean I have to call her doctor?”
 While Penelope continued her spew, the four in front of her just looked at her with a ‘really?’ look. Y/N just let out a chuckle, missing Penelope’s sass. 
 “What?! I did some research on her cause I couldn’t sleep on the plane,” She defended herself. “And my point is, clearly, she is smart and capable but is she nice?” 
 As Penelope finished her question, Derek, JJ, and Y/N cleared their throats to stop her as SSA Alex Blake walked up behind her.
 Y/N let out a giggle as Spencer moved away from his spot beside Penelope as if trying to get away from the situation. 
 “Oh dear god, this is happening. Where I talk and the person is behind…” she trailed off as she turned to be met with Blake. “Me.” 
 “The origin of ‘nice’, is twelfth-century Middle English, meaning foolish or stupid,” Blake said as she met Penelope’s eyes. “I hope you’re referring to the modern use of the adjective.”
 Y/N let out a muffled laugh into her hand that covered her mouth, not being able to keep it in any longer. Derek smacked her arm but was also smiling as he was struggling not to laugh. 
 “You must be Penelope,” Blake concurred once Penelope stayed in a silent, embarrassed state. “I’m Alex Blake.”
 “Nice to meet you. Really, actually nice in the nicest of ways nice,” Penelope said quietly as Derek placed a hand on her shoulder. 
 “I’m Derek Morgan,” Derek said, shaking Blake’s hand. 
 “Welcome back,” she responded. 
 Y/N then stepped up to introduce herself. 
 “I’m Y/N Y/L/N,” she stuck her hand out. 
 To her surprise, she smiled adoringly at her. “Welcome back to you too, Dr. Reid mentioned you the last time he guest lectured to me.” 
 Y/N giggled and glanced at Spencer who had a shy blush on his face. “Good things I hope.” 
 “Of course.”
 “How was Seattle?” Derek asked Blake. 
 “The unsub made Ridgway look like a saint. He even used his own kid to bait his victims,” Blake responded. 
 “Mm, those aren’t fun, we’ve seen them before, and no doubt will see those again,” Y/N said with a grimace. 
 Blake nodded and was about to respond but Rossi walked in quickly. 
 “Don’t unpack,” Rossi said as he walked past quickly. 
 “Garcia, the files,” Hotch said as he also walked past.
 Penelope nodded, muttering some words under her breath, embarrassed by her whole encounter as she walked away.
 The team made their way up to the round table room swiftly.
 “A few hours ago there was a prison transfer to the county hospital in Abilene, Texas. The Ambulance crashed and the prisoner escaped.” As Hotch began the case, Strauss entered with files and handed them to everyone. 
 “He’s wearing the EMT uniform, and he’s armed with the guard’s weapon,” Strauss continued. 
 “Aren’t the U.S. Marshals on this?” Derek asked. 
 “Yes, they are, but they need your help because this is what they found inside.” Strauss grabbed the remote and pulled up a picture of the victim. 
 “The EMT and the driver died in the accident, the guard, however, suffocated,” Strauss continued as they saw the Guard laying on the table in the photo. The EMT laid in the back in only his underwear and a white T-shirt. 
 “What’s on his mouth?” Y/N asked as she noticed the guard’s mouth had something on it. 
 “It was sewn shut,” Strauss responded.
 “So the prisoner in the silencer,” Blake said as she remembered the signature. 
 “Or this guy’s a copycat,” Rossi countered. 
 “Forensics confirmed it’s the same unique double-knot ligature he used in all three murder,” Hotch said, debunking the copycat theory.
 “His last known victim was in 2004 and he was never caught,” Spencer reminded everyone. 
 “So he didn’t go dormant by choice, he was locked up,” JJ concluded. 
 “Well, why not just escape? If he hadn’t sewn the guard’s mouth shut, we would never know it was him,” Derek said. 
 “He wants us to know he’s back,” Rossi replied to Derek’s statement with more clarity. 
 “We’ve got his face, what’s his name?” Blake asked Hotch. 
 “John Doe,” Hotch answered. “He was pulled over in ‘04 for a traffic violation, no registration, no tags, he carried no I.D.,” he continued. 
 “No way he did eight years for that,” Y/N said, confused as to why this man was in prison. 
 “They searched the car and found a gun with a silencer,” Hotch replied. 
 “A silencer, he was practically telling them who he was and no one made the connection,” Rossi stated baffled.
 “It’s a federal offense, carries a 30-year minimum sentence, but it was actually what he did inside that guaranteed him life without parole,” Hotch finished. 
 “He killed two men while inside,” JJ said reading the report in her file.
 “And never said a word,” Spencer added. 
 “Mm-hmm, he spoke with his fists,” Blake corrected as she looked at the report of all the fights he had been in. 
 “Remaining silent for 8 years takes a hell of a lot of self-restraint,” Derek said. 
 “Maybe it was a conditioned response,” Spencer said looking back at Derek. 
 “Garcia’s gathering all the files from ‘04, we’ll catch up on the plane. Wheels up in 30.” Hotch picked up his file and nodded his head to dismiss everyone.
 Y/N walked out of the room with Spencer trailing behind her closely. 
 “Hey,” he said, catching up beside her while she was at her desk. “How was your meeting with Strauss?” 
 Y/N just looked at him with an annoyed look, hoping that would tell him how she felt about it. 
 “That bad?” 
 “Oh yeah, but we’ll talk about it when we get back.” She pulled her duffle over her shoulder and laid her coat across her arm. 
 Spencer nodded, grabbing his own bag, and led the way out of the office.   
----------    
 Everyone sat in silence on the plane, looking over the files in hand. It wasn’t awkward, but it was filled with the stiffness you get when everyone’s minds are busy at work. 
 “Did any of you work on the Silencer case?” Blake asked, breaking the silence in hope to relieve the tension. 
 “That was during my extended sabbatical,” Rossi answered. 
 “I was still in college,” Y/N also answered. 
 The air became stiff again as Y/N mentioned college. After many times of telling the team, she was fine, and most of her trauma was gone, they still avoided the topic of college memories. She appreciated the fact they didn’t want to trigger any unwanted trauma, but she hated the fact that they walked on eggshells about the topic. 
 “We all consulted, but nobody made the trip to Texas,” Hotch said, answering for the rest of the team.
 Blake looked up confused as to why they didn’t make the trip. “Why not? Three women in four months, it’s textbook kill rate, an undeniable signature, obvious surrogates.” 
 She let out a scuff of confusion.
 “We weren’t invited by local police,” Hotch responded, disappointment that they weren’t invited evident in his voice . 
 “Aren’t you tired of that?” Blake said, annoyed that was the case of their help not being there.
 The team chuckled, all silently saying ‘we know it’s annoying’. 
 “Welcome to our world,” Y/N giggled along with everyone else. 
 “The women he killed were beaten and left in open ditches. That physical representation of his anger is missing this time around,” Derek said as he switched the subject to victimology. 
 “He must do something else that satisfies him,” JJ said. 
 “The signature is the same, but his victimology couldn’t be more different,” Spencer began answering JJ and Derek’s statements.  The guard was clearly a victim of necessity, but if he’s in need-driven behavior, such as sewing the mouths shut, how can he control that and only do it to the guard?” 
 “Maybe he just ran out of time,” Y/N said, answering Spencer’s now posed question. 
 “Or he could just want the guard to suffer in silence,” Derek argued. 
 “Literally makes his victims shut up,” Rossi agreed with his own twist on the argument. 
 “It seems obvious, but, uh, there may be something to it,” Hotch said, turning his head to Spencer for confirmation. 
 Spencer nodded his head. 
 “Then the question is why?” Blake asked. 
 “Morgan, you, Y/N, and JJ go to the M.E., Reid, you and Dave check out John Doe’s cell, and Blake and I will head to the U.S. Marshals,” Hotch said. 
------------ 
 Y/N hated the M.E., it smelt weird to her. She could deal with dead bodies, sure, but it was the smell of all the sterile equipment and the LED lights that gave her a headache.
 “The suture is 6-zero nylon, P-3 needle, 13-millimeter long, ⅜ circle. A dozen of these would come in a box,” The M.E. said as she walked over to JJ, Y/N, and Derek who were beside the body. 
 “The suture drawer was empty on the ambulance,” Derek said. 
 “Then he’s got a lot more,” the M.E. concluded. 
 “His techniques aren’t like a mortician,” JJ said as she examined the mouth. 
 “It almost looks like the stitching is strictly through the lips,” Y/N agreed. She crossed her arms over her stomach as she leaned down closer to the face of the body. She turned her head to look at the stitching that almost looked like something from a horror movie. 
 “It’s rather crude what he’s done,” the M.E. added then pointed to the lips of the guard. “You see how the nylon is stretched? The victim struggled, which says the prisoner did it while this guy was still alive.”
 “Torture, just like his first victims,” JJ said, concluding that this was the torture for this victim like how he did with his others. 
 “Well, now that you’ve seen his handiwork, I’ll open his mouth.” The M.E. picked up a pair of surgical scissors and cut the nylon suture. 
 When the nylon was cut, the M.E. used her hands to open his mouth. As she did so, the four saw an orange bag folded up in his mouth. 
 “What’s that?” Y/N asked as she peered at the object closer. 
 As the M.E. opened the folded bag, they saw the note written inside.
 “ ‘Gazing through to the other side’,” Derek read aloud.
 “That’s not much of a taunt.” JJ’s face contorted as she thought about the note. 
 “Maybe it’s not for us?” Y/N posed as she looked at the two agents. 
 “Then who?” Derek asked.  
--------------
 “He literally put words in the guard’s mouth,” Y/N said as her, Derek, and JJ walked into the conference room of the U.S. marshall’s precinct. 
 When they walked in, it looked like Spencer and Rossi had also just arrived and been telling Blake and Hotch of their findings. 
 “That’s new,” Rossi stated. 
 “Well, we think this is what we were missing, the words give him the pleasure the beatings used to bring,” JJ relayed what they discussed on the car ride there. 
 “Maybe we had this wrong, what if the ritual is sewing the mouths shut?” Spencer posed, which everyone gave him slightly confused glances as a response. 
 “His signature used to be the beatings, but now it’s putting words in their mouths,” Spencer clarified what he meant. 
 “Yeah, just when you think a signature doesn’t get more solid than that,” JJ said, agreeing with Spencer. 
 “What did he write?” Blake asked Derek, who was holding the note in the bag. 
 “ ‘Gazing through to the other side’,” Derek read the note again. He held it up to show it to the group. 
 Blake gave a confused face as she tried to think if she had heard the words before. 
 “It’s not an anagram,” Blake deciphered. “Is it a phrase in anything you’ve read so far?” She looked at Spencer who had a pile of notepads in front of him. 
 “No, it’s not a well-known literary reference either,” Spencer answered. 
 “Well, the words mean something to him, otherwise he wouldn’t share it,” Blake said as she pointed down to a notepad she was holding. 
 “It’s gonna get dark soon, he’ll be on the move.” Hotch’s statement was more of a spoken thought. 
 “You want us on the roads with the marshals?” Derek asked Hotch. 
 “No, I think we should concentrate on remote locations,” Hotch answered. “He’s not just escaping detection, he’s a recluse. He’ll be attracted to isolated locations.” 
 As the day went into the night, the team had sent out marshals to cover some areas they thought the unsub could be based on a geo-profile Spencer and Y/N made. They got an unfortunate hit at a local, isolated gas station. The owner had been killed with his mouth sewn shut. 
 Spencer, Y/N, and Blake stayed back at the precinct to help develop more of the profile and hopefully decipher more of the note. 
 “Blake,” Blake said as she answered her phone.
 Y/N and Spencer could hear the faint voice of Derek on the other side. 
 “Did you get another note?” Blake asked. Derek responded with a ‘yep’ then Blake asked, “Can I put you on speaker?” 
 Assuming he said yes, she pulled the phone away from her ear and pressed the speaker button. 
 “ ‘Waiting on the taste of honey...the smell of summer,” Derek read. 
 Y/N thought for a second, then looked between Spencer and Blake hoping they knew what it meant. 
 “ ‘And the sight of the other side’, three of the senses,” Blake said as she pieced the notes together. 
 “Then we’re only missing sound and touch now,” Y/N said as she could now understand more of what the unsub was doing. 
 “This guy’s like Jekyll and Hyde writes a decent thought and then sews it in the mouth,” Derek said with slight irritation in his voice. 
 “Whatever he is, he’s romanticizing the hell out of this, thank Morgan,” Blake said, hovering her finger over the red hangup command. 
 “Sure,” he responded then Blake hung up.
 “ ‘Gazing through to the other side, waiting on the taste of honey, the smell of summer.’ Do you think he’s telling us about a place?” Spencer asked as he said the whole quote. 
 “That’s what it sounds like,” Y/N responded.
 “But…” Blake said and glanced back at the board and then walked to it. “Where?” She drew out the word with a sigh as she looked at a map. 
-------------
 “We can’t tell you exactly where this unsub’s going or what he’s thinking, but his actions will betray his intentions,” Hotch said as they began this odd profile. 
 “And how’s that?” Tilghman, the captain of the marshals, asked. 
 “Earlier tonight at the gas station, he could have stolen money, but the register wasn’t empty. That tells us he’s not planning a long road trip,” Hotch answered. 
 “And yet he’s logical enough to be in survival mode,” Y/N added. 
 “So logic tells him to escape, I get that,” Tilghman said then continued to ask a question. “But what the hell makes him sew mouths shut?” 
 “It’s a compulsion over which he has no control,” Hotch replied. 
 “So how do we stop him?” Tilghman asked. 
 “Well, truth shows itself through actions,” Derek began. “What’s this guy’s truth? He feels silenced. Agent Hotchner has a theory that he had a speech impediment that made him embarrassed to talk. He may have been relentlessly teased because of it.”
 “His prior victims tell us a woman, likely a mother figure is to blame,” JJ said. 
 “Chances are she was abusive and convinced him that whatever words he had were worthless,” Y/N continued. 
 “This guy hasn’t spoken a word in eight years, could he have been mute?” Tilghman asked. 
 “Definitely not,” Blake answered. 
 “You sound pretty damn sure,” Tilghman challenged. 
 “He refers to IPA in a few of his personal writings,” Blake responded. 
 “What’s IPA?” 
 “International Phonetic Alphabet. It represents only those qualities of speech that are in spoken language,” Blake answered. 
 “It’s proof that he’s able to hear, which means most likely he can talk but chooses not to,” Y/N said as she could add onto Blake’s thought. 
 “Then what’s he using it for?” Tilghman continued his questions. 
 “He uses multiple languages to communicate. IPA is an interesting choice, I’ve found that those who understand something as detailed as that are also proficient in sign language,” Blake concluded.
 “So these words that he’s leaving in these mouths are directly taunting us?” Tilghman asked what Y/N hoped was his final question. 
 “Those messages--” 
 “Have not been analyzed yet,” Blake interjected Y/N with a lie. 
 Y/N looked at her confused why she would do that then to Derek who had tapped her leg and gave her a confused look. Y/N simply shrugged at Derek answering his glance. 
 “You know, not to change the subject,” Spencer said, clearly changing the subject, hoping no awkward tension would come from the interjection. “But he’s incredibly well-read, which tells us that he grew up in isolation with literature being his only escape. His own writings are not as profound and despite his reading comprehension, we don’t think he’s had an extended education.”
 “Everything about his psychosis says the spoken word has value, it also greatly angers him,” Rossi said. 
 “And if he was yelled at or made to feel stupid, he held onto his anger until he snapped,” Hotch added. 
 “So why hasn’t he fled the area?” Tilghman asked. “He knows there’s a manhunt going down, wouldn’t he want to get as far away as possible?” 
 “Well, he could be on a mission. We just don’t know if that mission includes a person or a place, but we do know his target is close to here,” JJ answered both of Tilghman’s questions. 
 “Thank you,” Hotch said, dismissing everyone.
 When they stood up to leave the room, Derek tapped Y/N to get her attention.
 “You want to talk to her about that?” He asked, referring to Blake cutting her off.
 “Want to join me?” She responded which Derek nodded to. 
 “Hey, Blake,” Y/N said, making the dark-haired woman turn to her. She really didn’t want to piss this woman off, but she needed to know why she dismissed that part of the profile. 
 “Wouldn’t you say that those messages are related to the profile?” Y/N asked, wringing her hands together nervously. 
 “To a degree, yes,” Balke answered. 
 “A degree?” Derek questioned her response. “He basically signed his name to the murders.”
 “He’s never left words before, that’s a significant change of behavior,” Y/N added onto Derek’s statement. 
 “But you completely dismissed it,” Derek finished. Those are the words Y/N was afraid would piss off Blake. 
 “Because the Marshals have their own agenda,” Blake said in a whisper. “And will believe it’s a taunt no matter what we tell them. We don’t need to give them any more fuel.” 
 Blake was right, Y/N and Derek knew that, but she should have brought that up with them before delivering the profile. 
 “If the unsub needs to get his thoughts out, it’s like he’s reminding us of something, and until we know what that something is I’m not comfortable speculating in front of them,” Blake finished expressing how she felt about it. 
 “Well, how about the rest of us?” Y/N asked. The question came off as defensive and that was not her intent. 
 “Dr. Reid and I are coming up with theories-” she shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly- “you two are welcomed to join us.”
 Derek looked at Y/N. She was pressing her thumb across the top of each of her fingers, pushing hard as a way to express her anger. 
 When Blake had walked away after Derek had given her a response to do so, Y/N let out a breath. 
 “Do you think she’s intentionally trying to make us feel inferior?” Y/N whispered to Derek, who let out an agitated sigh. 
 “Come on, let’s at least join her and boy wonder to give her a chance.” 
-----------
 The next morning, Y/N, Hotch, and Blake rolled up to the sight of the crime scene. The morning was cloudy and almost seemed dull. Appropriate for the circumstance of the child in his carrier left under a tree. 
 “Marshal, where are the parents?” Hotch asked Marshal Tilghman as they got closer. 
 “Father’s in the stall dead, no sign of the mother,” Tilghman responded. “He stole the victims I.D.’s so I have no idea who he is, or what kind of vehicle we’re looking for.”
 “Was there another message?” Blake asked. 
 “They're checking right now.” Blake nodded and walked to the shed where the body was.  
 Y/N squatted down in front of the baby in the carrier. He was sleeping peacefully, a blanket laid carefully on top of him, his pacifier on top of the blanket, and his bottle beside it. That was odd because this baby was only a few months old. 
 “This baby is only a few months old, he’s too young to hold the bottle himself.” Y/N gestured to the bottle. 
 “Maybe the father fed him,” Tilghman said. 
 “You wouldn’t take the baby out of the safety of your car in the middle of the night.” Y/N shook her head at the thought of the unsub touching this poor little guy. A sudden motherly feeling overtook her and all she wanted to do was hold this baby. 
 “Then you’re telling me this guy killed a man then came out here for the baby?” Tilghman was confused by the theory. 
 “That’s exactly what he did,” Hotch answered solemnly. “He stayed with him while he slept and then gave him his pacifier.”
 “Well then, maybe he’s not that far away,” Tilghman said then walked away.
 As he walked away, Blake walked over and replaced the spot he vacated.
 “There were no words left in the mouth this time,” Blake said as she got close to Hotch. 
 “I think caring for the baby is his message,” Hotch said as he looked down at the child. 
 “Then he must relate to the child,” Blake concluded. 
 “Maybe he’s obsessed with nature he didn’t get,” Y/N said. Her focus never left the baby though, she was too worried about him waking up and crying for it to be diverted away.
 “Or simply wanted him to be quiet,” Blake added. 
 “He’s telling us he has boundaries?” Hotch wondered. 
 “He’s too unstable for that, I’d say he’s lucky,” Blake said as she gave a tight-lipped smile to the baby. 
 Y/N then looked to the side of the carrier, her hand reached under the blanket to move it off the ground. When she did so, an orange biohazard bag revealed. She picked it up and stood up from her squatted position to show Blake and Hotch her findings. 
 When they saw what she had, she opened the bag to see what was inside. 
 “Scissors...suture kits...medical tape.” She listed off the items she saw in the bag to them.
 “What’s he trying to tell us? That he’s finished killing?” Blake asked. 
 “He left his tools behind. That usually means you’re gonna call it quits,” Y/N said as she agreed with Blake’s question. 
 “He didn’t leave the stolen gun,” Hotch reminded them of the item. “He’s not giving up.”
 With that, the three finished up at the crime scene and headed back to the precinct to rethink what his next move will be. 
 “Okay,” JJ began with a sigh. “So he leaves words until today, maybe he’s closer to what he’s looking for?” 
 “He could have already found it,” Derek said, answering JJ’s questioned theory. “If he feels satisfied, he may disappear.”
 “Mm, we’re too close to let that happen,” Blake said with her hands pressed against one another in front of her face.
 “All right, then we go back to the first kills; three women, late forties, all working class. Mothers, brunettes, beaten and left in a ditch. That was his message, he hated them,” Hotch said trying to give a new train of thought for everyone. 
 “Maybe he’s not targeting women anymore because he already killed the person he blames,” Y/N proposed. She had been looking down at her journal in her lap, when she looked up, she was met with Spencer’s gaze. 
 She blushed, even after a year of dating, his gazes of adoration still give her butterflies. 
 “Most likely his mother,” Blake said, agreeing with Y/N.
 “We should have Garcia run all the victims’ names again,” Hotch said, pulling over the conference phone, dialing Penelope’s number. 
 “At your service,” Penelope said, answering the phone after one ring. 
 “Pull up the ‘04 victims,” Hotch ordered. 
 “Done.” 
 “All right, we need a list of their children,” Hotch continued his orders.
 “Okay, next of kin, state welfare, give me a sec…” Penelope’s voice trailed off as she searched then a ping was heard. “Gotcha! Okay, some were put into foster care after their moms died, runaways, truancy, not good.” 
 “Any incarcerated?” Hotch asked. 
 “A handful, do you have any more parameters?” Penelope asked in hopes of getting a hit. 
 “Uh, not yet, just send us the list,” Hotch answered. 
 “Comin’ at ya now.” Penelope hung up. 
 “All right, let’s start with the first victim.” Hotch pulled the list up on his phone.
 “Julie Myres.” JJ pointed with her pencil to the victim on the board. 
 “Three boys- Mark, Greg, and John, born ‘70, ‘72, ‘74, history of truancy. Child services lost track of them.” Hotch read from the list, only hitting the highlights and not going into the full detail. 
 “Is there any family history of cajun French?” Blake asked. 
 “Yeah, Julie Myres was born in New Orleans,” Hotch answered as he read the bio of the victim. 
 “Could Explain his interest in the language,” Y/N posed with a shrug.
 “Let’s jump ahead to his most recent behavior-” Derek grabbed a bag with the evidence Y/N found by the baby- “He leaves all of this behind. Is it his version of surrender?”
 “What’s the medical tape for?” Rossi nodded to the tape in the bag. “He didn’t use it on any of the victims.” 
 “Yet it was important enough for him to steal from the ambulance,” Derek said as he gestured to the item in the bag. 
 “Maybe he’s using it on himself.” Y/N leaned forward on the table. “We said he may have some kinda nerve damage, if that’s the case, his eye won’t shut by itself.”
 “So he would have to tape it down,” Derek said agreeing with Y/N’s statement. 
 “It’s his left eye, the same where the recent scars are,” Hotch added. 
 “Under his ear,” JJ said, remembering the scar in the picture. “What if he was trying to stop from hearing.”
 “That’s pretty severe, taking a knife to your own head,” Rossi said, not sure if that would be the case. 
 “He may have had an implant, the electronic pulses enhance natural sound. If all he wants is peace, an implant is like having a speaker that goes to eleven,” Blake said. 
 With this new theory in play, Hotch hit the redial button to call Penelope back. 
 “That was fast,” Penelope said when she answered. 
 “Do any of the children have a cochlear implant?” Hotch asked, hopeful for a yes. 
 “Uh, 1988, John Myers,” Penelope responded after a small pause for her searching. 
 “He was fourteen at the time,” Hotch said looking at his birthdate.
 “Yeah, his mom was paid six hundred and fifty bucks for the medical trial,” Penelope said as she did some more digging. 
 “Was he deaf before that?” Y/N asked leaning closer to the phone. 
 “Had to be in order to participate,” Penelope answered. Her fingers typing on the keys could be heard through the call as she pulled up more of the trial. “Yikes, it was a highly experimental procedure. It was rested on humans, not animals-”
 Everyone’s eyebrows shot up in shock at her words. 
 “Caused quite the controversy.” 
 “So mom gives him the gift of hearing and it turns out to be a curse,” Rossi said as he came to a conclusion for a motive. 
 “Spent his first fourteen years in silence, gets lost in the world through books, learns languages-- anything to escape,” Spencer said. 
 “He’s content, and then his mom gets paid to use him as a guinea pig and now he can’t turn the noise off,” Blake said as she thought more into his motive. 
 “He blamed her and he wanted her to suffer,” JJ said, agreeing with Blake.
 The team kept working, pulling different theories and piecing together scenes.
 Y/N tried to focus, but she was having a hard time. Spencer was focused with Blake on trying to decipher the two notes, and she really couldn’t follow what they were saying. All she could think about was that poor baby. 
 “Hotch, I’m going to get some air.” Y/N stood up from her chair. 
 Hotch nodded his head, and the rest of the team watched as Y/N swiftly walked out of the room and out the doors. 
 When the air hit her, she felt capable of breathing again. She laced her fingers together and placed them on top of her head. The sun was warm on her face and she felt like her head was clear for the first time in hours. 
 Her arms fell down to her sides when she heard the front door open. She expected it to be Spencer, but she was surprised when she was met with Blake. 
 “You okay?” She asked sincerely. 
 Y/N took a breath in through her nose, no tears came from her eyes, but the breath was shaky like she was crying. 
 Running her hands down her face, she let out the breath she took in. “Yeah, yeah, I’m good.” She looked at her with a tight-lipped smile. 
 An awkward silence fell between the two as Y/N was still trying to compose herself and Blake was trying to from her words. 
 “I wanted to apologize for last night. I should’ve talked to the team about the whole note thing before we delivered the profile,” Blake said with an apologetic tone. 
 “I understand.” Y/N really didn’t want to get into the fact that Blake made her feel inferior, so she opted to just let it go. 
 With a grateful smile, Blake gave a simple nod and opened the door for Y/N. She smiled and walked in to head back to the conference room. 
----------
 Y/N stood in front of a whiteboard. The two phases of the notes he left written out on it. Her eyes darted between the words and the pictures of the victims, not even knowing where to start to figure out where the words could take them.
   “If they aren’t his words then who’s are they?” Derek asked as he walked away from the board to sit down. He was annoyed that they couldn’t figure out what they were. 
 “We need to find out who his neighbors were in prison,” Blake said as she thought of where they could start. 
 “He spent more time in solitary then he did in his own cell,” Rossi stated, not knowing if what Blake was asking for would help. 
 “It’s total darkness but not complete silence, the inmates can speak through the walls,” JJ said.
 “Let’s see which fellow inmate did time in solitary when he was there.” Rossi pulled out his phone then walked out of the room to make the call to the prison. 
 “I can’t really imagine an inmate thrown in solitary would be telling campfire stories to other inmates in solitary.” Y/N spoke in a monotone voice, her eyes still trained on the board. 
 “Some inmates get put in there for their own protection,” Derek reminded her. 
 “That’s true, we should start with those prisoners,” Hotch said, agreeing with Derek’s statement. 
 “Hold on,” Blake said, bringing the attention to her. “See how he wrote ‘Waiting on the taste of honey’, it’s got Southern U.S. roots, but more specifically it’s Texas south. A sub-dialect of southern English found in the north-central part of the state.” 
 She looked back down at the notes then saw another thing. “Right here-- you wait for something that hasn’t shown up, you wait on something that’s nearby.” 
 “The taste of honey would be close,” Spencer said as he understood what Blake was saying. 
 “Yes, and the storyteller is probably from north of here.” 
 “Fewer were thrown in the hole than you think,” Rossi said when he stepped back into the room, then set his phone down on the table. “Go ahead, Garcia.” 
 “Our unsub was the MVP of solitary. He was in there more than any other prisoner,” Penelope said as she relayed what she told Rossi to the rest of the team. 
 “All right, we’re looking for somebody who didn’t belong in jail. His offense would be minimal, he might even be in there for his own protection.”Hotch gave some parameters. 
 “Uh-huh, I got a few,” Penelope responded when she got a hit. 
 “Can you read off the hometowns?” Blake asked.
 “Sure, Beaumont, Edinburgh, Sweetwater--”
 “Sweetwater, who was that inmate?” Y/N asked as the name perked her ears. She turned away from the board and stood next to Blake. 
 “Danny Tucker looks like he was only in for two months,” Penelope answered. 
 “Well, that’s long enough to tell stories to John Myres,” Hotch said.
 “Hey, his family owns property near where you are. It’s really secluded, too,” Penelope said as she found out that information. 
 “With local honey, by any chance?” Blake asked.
 “They are known for it.”
 “That’s where he’s going,” Y/N said looking at Blake next to her who nodded in agreement. 
 “Garcia, is it private property?” Hotch asked. 
 “It was, but it’s been sold. They’re building a housing development.” 
 “So it’s not the hideaway he’s hoping for,” Y/N said, looking to Hotch.
 “Where would he go?” Blake asked. 
 “He might blame Danny for lying to him. Garcia-” 
 “Danny’s house is down the road from the development, I’m sending his address to your phones now.” Penelope beat Hotch to the punch. 
 “Dave, You, Reid, and Y/N go to the site, the rest of us will go to the house,” Hotch said, sending everyone off. 
------------ 
 That evening, the team arrived back at Quantico. Sadly, John had ended up taking his own life, but Danny and his family were saved. 
 Rossi led the pack of Y/N, Spencer, JJ, and Blake through the office doors. 
 “Don’t tell me there's another one,” Rossi said as he was now face-to-face with Strauss who had been waiting for them. 
 “There’s always another one,” she replied. 
 “I told you we should’ve just gotten into our cars,” Rossi said as he regretted not doing so. 
 Y/N rested her head on Spencer’s arm. She really wanted to go home now, even after being stuck there for so long, she just wanted to go home and cuddle with Spencer. 
 “Where are we off to now?” JJ asked. 
 “Home,” Strauss responded. “You need to spend at least one night in your own beds.” 
 “Bless,” Y/N said, grabbing Spencer’s hand and leading him to the elevator. 
 “Don’t have to tell me twice,” Rossi said following close behind.
 “Yeah, me too,” JJ said as she also followed. 
 When Y/N walked through her and Spencer’s apartment door, she let out a loud, exaggerated sigh of relief. She held both her arms out as she basked in the feeling of being home. 
 “I thought you said you were done with being stuck at home,” Spencer laughed as he set down his go-bag. 
 “I say some things that I don’t mean later.” Y/N set her go-bag down by the couch and walked into the bedroom, flopping onto the bed. 
 The nicely made bed, now looking a little disheveled from the impact, surrounded Y/N. The comfort it gave relieved her back pain from the lousy hotel bed she had slept in. 
 Spencer followed closely behind, and unlike her, carefully climbed next to her in the bed. 
 “You want to tell me about that meeting now?” Spencer asked, grabbing her hand and giving it a kiss. 
 “Ugh.” Y/N groaned as she scooted closer to Spencer. She kinda hoped he would forget about it, but that would literally be impossible for him. “She asked me if I wanted to move to the fugitive task force because Emily left.” 
 “And what did you say?”
 “I said no, obviously.” 
 She had her head laying on his chest but then lifted it up to look at him. Her head rested in her hand that Spencer wasn’t holding, his thumb rubbing back and forth across her knuckles. 
 “She should know I wouldn’t want to move, I told her when I joined the BAU it was my dream,” Y/N said with her voice rising with irritation. “And it was super annoying, she acted like she was surprised that would be my answer. I don’t want to end up like how JJ did where she had to move to state by force. That was stupid. I just, she thinks she can have everything she wants-” 
 Spencer’s laughter cut her off. 
 “Why are you laughing?” She asked with furrowed brows. 
 “You’re overreacting, if you said no then nothing will happen, JJ’s case was special,” he told her with a reassuring look. “And also you’re just cute when you’re irritated,” he shrugged. 
 Her eyebrows raised in question. “Oh yeah?” 
 She let go of his hand and quickly reached for a pillow behind her head. She sat up on her knees and smacked him with the pillow. 
 “Am I cute now?” She giggled and waited for his reaction. He wrapped his arms around her waist and tackled her down to have him laying on top of her. That was enough of a distraction for him to grab his own pillow and smack her with it.  
 “Very.” 
 She sat up again and the two had a flat out pillow war. Not a fight, a war. 
 Eventually, Y/N ended up on top of Spencer, straddling his torso. Her hands grabbed his sides as she tickled him relentlessly. 
 “Okay, okay, I surrender!” He panted with laughter. 
 She stopped her assault and moved to lay on him. 
 “Yay,” she pecked his lips and moved off of him to cuddle into his side.
Tag List (let me know if you want to be added!!):
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jared-19-cant-reid · 4 years ago
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A Study In Behavior: Chapter 1
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A Study In Behavior (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)
Chapter 1: Obsession
Rating: G
Word Count: 1.8K
Series Summary: When you signed up for Professor Reid’s class, you were expecting a low effort but interesting class to fill your psychology elective credit. Instead, your fascination with the professor leaves you spending more time than you’d expected in office hours. 
Chapter Summary: A strange dream and an unusual professor make today’s lecture much more interesting than you thought it would be.
Warnings: teacher/student relationship, cursing, mentions of anxiety, suggestive language, implied age gap.
A/N: I’m planning on making this an eventual smut slow burn, since this is one of my favorite tropes and I want to make it a Realistic daydream lmao. This chapter is focused on introducing you to the world, reader, and this version of Spencer. Lots of potential here, I already have a million different ideas of how this should go... as always dms and asks are open!
~
The pattering of rain on the tin roof seemed to crescendo, a million drummers tapping out a perpetual drumroll on steel drums above your head. You’d always complained you couldn’t hear yourself think with all that noise, but you missed it despite yourself when you left Seattle for college. You were pulled away from that brief moment of self awareness by the touch of a cold hand, clutching yours as if you might be snatched away at any moment if the grip were to loosen.
You opened your eyes, finding yourself in a bed you knew all too well. A bed you’d spent too many hours in, slept too many nights in, and yet was not your own. Turning your head to the right, you took in the sight of your sleeping mother, her expression of serenity contradicted by the deep creases in her face, betraying the frown that she wore most of her waking life. Your gaze trailed down to your hand in hers; her knuckles were turning white from her tight grip, but you didn’t feel any pain. 
Laying next to her, you watched her face for what felt like hours as her chest rose and fell in the lazy patterns of slumber, too afraid of waking her with your movement to breathe. She almost looked happy like this. Suddenly, your thoughts were interrupted by a loud beeping sound. You looked around for the offending fire alarm, but as you scanned the ceiling it began to dissolve before your eyes, the grip on your hand loosening until you broke free from the scene fully.
~
You opened your eyes with a start as you sat up quickly, feeling out of place in your own room. You were a painting placed in the wrong section of a museum, an unintentional imposter. Nails digging into your comforter, you tried in vain to slow your shallow breaths as you looked around wildly for something to remind you of where you were, of who you were. 
Your eyes skipped from your stack of  records from your childhood leaning casually against the wall beside the record player on your desk, to the stacks of books watching over you from the top of your bookshelf, unable to fit on the shelves but too close to your heart to part with. Your gaze finally settled on the floor, taking in the mess you’d been meaning to clean up for days now. 
As you returned to your body, you could no longer ignore the blaring of your alarm, groaning as you reached for your phone on the nightstand. A glance at the screen had you shooting out of bed. Shit, I have to be at class in 20 minutes. You got up, muttering to yourself about how 8 A.M. classes should be considered cruel and unusual punishment, and maneuvered around your clothes strewn across the floor. 
As you raced to your closet, your eyes scanned the clothes you owned, speeding through mental images of a million combinations before giving up and reaching for your comfort clothes. You pulled on the green high waisted cargo pants that you’d owned since high school. Nobody to impress in this class anyway, you reasoned, grabbing the fitted white crop top that your friend had embroidered your name on. 
You tore through the apartment in the most violent and rushed performance of a morning routine the world had ever seen, only half trying to keep quiet for the sake of your neighbors. Hair tangled between your fingers and makeup was swiped on haphazardly as you struggled to make yourself presentable, cursing at the time and throwing random belongings in your bag.
Calling out a goodbye to your roommate only to be met with silence, you realized that in your frenzy you had forgotten that no sane college student would willingly be up at this hour. Shaking your head as you rushed out of your building, you mused that you’d just gotten all your stupid mistakes for today over with quite efficiently. 
Three years of mediocre dorm experiences had left you desperate for a change, and luckily your now-roommate Jordan volunteered to split the rent for the 2 bedroom you now called home. You’d both agreed to ignore whatever ghost stories scared off previous residents and earned you a fair price for a decent place close to campus; ghosts would just add a little intrigue to your domestic life, you’d joked. 
Checking the time once more, you cursed under your breath and broke out into a run. God, I should work out more, you thought as your lungs began to burn, I wouldn’t stand a chance in a zombie apocalypse. Racing through campus, you finally reached the doors of the lecture hall that held your class… which had started three minutes prior. You tried to catch your breath before opening the door, cringing as you heard the professor pause mid-lecture. 
You tried not to meet anyone’s gaze as you quickly made your way to a seat. The first one you could find was in the third row-- close enough to the front to make out the facial expressions of your professor, who had continued his train of thought after you entered, choosing to ignore you in favor of finishing his idea. 
As you got settled and tuned into the lecture, you realized the professor was still reviewing the syllabus. Pulling it up on your laptop, you looked at the top to remind yourself of his name: Dr. Spencer Reid. Finally looking up, your mind went blank. Oh. Not only was your professor way younger than you’d expected, he was... well, attractive. Thats’s a reasonable objective assessment, right? You knew he was just as knowledgeable as older professors-- you’d chosen this course for its fantastic reviews from previous students-- but his youth was a welcome change from the dinosaurs you were so used to in the neuroscience department. 
As you studied him, you only became more sure in your original assessment; he was tall, with tousled brunet hair and a face that was… well, unfair. You weren’t surprised to catch a few other girls unabashedly staring at him, clearly drooling over the man as he spoke animatedly about his favorite parts of the course. 
You shook yourself-- this man was your professor. You shouldn’t think about how attractive he is, it’s unprofessional. You also shouldn’t look at his hands the way you are right now, following them as he gestured along with his words you still weren’t paying attention to. You definitely shouldn’t think about what those hands could do. 
Oh my god, snap out of it, you reprimanded yourself, you can’t afford to spend the semester fantasizing about your professor, focus on the class! You finally tuned in to the lecture, catching the end of what sounded like a tangent about the difference between triggers and stressors. For the rest of the class, you listened intently, drawn in by Professor Reid’s clear excitement about the topic. 
Your efforts to ignore your professor’s appearance were somewhat successful, but as you listened to him speak passionately about the value of profiling as a tool for certain types of criminal investigations, you knew you were done for. His excitement about sharing his knowledge left you fighting back a smile, watching intently as he gestured wildly. You’d always liked listening to fellow nerds, eagerly basking in the pure delight beaming from their faces as they ranted about their subject of interest.
You sighed internally, preparing yourself for a semester of unreasonable dedication to this class, which was meant to be your chill psych elective to leave you more time to spend in the lab. It’s not like this topic wasn’t interesting to you, it was just that you weren’t expecting to be obsessed with it-- or more accurately, the man teaching it.
Before you knew it, the class was over. Professor Reid told everyone to finish the assigned reading by next class in preparation for a discussion, dismissing the class and walking over to his desk. You gathered up your belongings and the remnants of your dignity before slowly making your way to the exit, lost in thought about the overlap between your field and his. 
Your feet changed course before you could stop to think about what you were doing. When you tuned back in, you were horrified to find that you were walking towards Professor Reid. Right when you were about to turn around and try to escape without further embarrassment, you were stopped by his curious but friendly gaze. Ignoring your inner voice’s screams of horror, you composed yourself and made your way over to his desk. 
He spoke before you could, greeting you with a small smile and a polite “how can I help you?”
“Hi! Um, I just wanted to come apologize for being late today. I promise, it’s really unlike me, and I just don’t want you to think that I don’t care about your class or anything, because it seems really cool so far and I’m so interested in seeing how this could apply to my research and I was only really late because of this dream I had-”
You stopped before going into detail, saving yourself from your nervous rambling, and he spoke your name hesitantly. Your confusion must have been apparent on your face, because he looked at your chest, clearly having made the connection from the word embroidered on it. The devil on your shoulder whispered that his eyes had lingered there longer than they needed to, but you dismissed that thought quickly. 
“There’s no need to apologize, as long as you don’t make a habit of it we should be fine,” he reassured you, “and judging from how well you paid attention today, I have no doubt you’ll more than make up for it next class in the discussion.”
You bit back a smile at his praise, shocked he’d noticed you at all. You thanked your lucky stars he’d interpreted your staring as interest in the class, rather than the glaring sign of attraction that it would easily be identified as in any other setting. You quickly nodded, thanking him for his understanding and promising it wouldn’t happen again before exchanging goodbyes as you turned and walked out of the room. 
Bursting out of the lecture hall, you finally filled your lungs with air fully, trying to regain some sense of control over your feelings. As you walked to the library to study, your mind wandered back to Professor Reid. It’s not like he’d ever feel the same way, what’s the harm in a little daydreaming? You decided you could live with a harmless crush. Keeps things interesting, you thought. Stepping into your castle of books, you pushed the events of the morning to the back of your mind, but one thought lingered: This is going to be one hell of a semester.
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vampiregirl1797 · 5 years ago
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You’re My Eternal Love
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Edward Cullen x Reader
 GIF Not Mine.
 Warnings: Self-depreciation, pining, minor angst, major fluff. Bella isn’t nice in this one guys.
 Word count: 14,843—super long so be sure to grab yourself some snacks and a cuppa tea!
 Click Here For My Masterlist.
 Summary: Bella and Y/N go to Italy to stop Edward from committing suicide. It’s going to be a difficult excursion for more reasons than Y/N can possibly imagine. For starters, she doesn’t possess the same mind defences as her sister, meaning she’s much more vulnerable to the gifts of Aro and Jane. But that isn’t going to stop her from helping to save the man she’s secretly in love with. She’s done a very good job at keeping it quiet so far, especially with Edward’s ability to read her thoughts. Y/N is well aware that she’s risking her life, but as long as Edward’s is saved, her own existence is of little consequence to her. The danger, she’s prepared for, but to have more revealed than she’s ready to reveal is going to be the hardest part. Everything has the potential to fall to pieces, but will it? Also let’s pretend that Bella is a year younger, putting her in junior year and Y/N in senior year.
 I took a deep breath as I processed everything that I’d just been told. Edward had gone to the Volturi—Vampire royalty who created and enforced rules that everyone belonging to that species must follow—in order to end his own life. I internally cursed my sister’s recklessness.
 ‘Let’s just jump off the cliff, Y/N. What’s the worst that could happen?’
 She’d dragged me along to keep her company on LA Push beach as she waited for Jake—her new love interest—to finish his wolf patrol and meet her. The werewolf had forewarned her that he’d probably be late, so I was a means to avoid boredom. If she hadn’t played the sister card, I wouldn’t have gone. If I’d just ignored her insistence at trying another reckless activity, this wouldn’t be happening. Edward would be living his immortal life danger free in… wherever the hell he had been. But no, Bella had insisted that it would be a rush, something Jake had got her hooked onto after she’d bought him some bikes to fix up as an excuse to spend some time with him. She’d gone first, even though I’d still been trying to talk her out of it, and I’d waited anxiously on the cliff edge for her face to break the surface of the angry blue sea so that my nerves would fade. But that hadn’t happened. She didn’t come up, and stupidly, I’d gone after her. If I’d stopped to think logically I would have realized that I was human, too. If Bella hadn’t been able to fight the waves to escape the ocean, why would I have a chance? I should have screamed for help, perhaps loud enough for some of the resident werewolves to hear if they were nearby.
 Unfortunately, logic and reasoning goes out of the window when someone you love, when your sister, is in danger. So without thought, only glaring panic echoing throughout my veins, I’d jumped in, the ice-cold water encasing me like a predator caging its prey. Again, if I’d been calm enough to be rational, I wouldn’t have wasted the precious energy I’d had frantically searching, my arms slashing as fast as they could through the dark abyss of water. Any attempts to locate my sister had failed and in a moment of sheer stupidity, I’d opened my mouth, as if to call out her name. The water rushing into my mouth and down into my lungs had been the last thing I remembered as I closed my eyes and allowed death to claim me.
When I’d woken up on the beach, my lungs burning and throat raw, with Sam Uley standing over me I’d been disorientated. But the wave of realization washed over me with more ferocity than the waves had, and I was soon frantically looking around for Bella. She had been fine, sat over on a fallen log about twenty feet away on Jacob’s lap. He was holding her close and I’d remembered the shot of betrayal that shot through my heart like an arrow at her lack of concern. It burned like I’d been branded with a constant reminder of how little my sister appeared to care for me. When I looked back to the alpha werewolf, to thank him for saving my life, he’d told me I was welcome without taking his disapproving eyes off Bella. That had been the first time my defensive hackles hadn’t rose at the sight of someone criticizing my family—I was always in her corner, but in that moment, I couldn’t bring myself to even muster up an insincere effort. Sam had taken me home, not addressing the elephant in the car, and I waited until I was in the security of my bedroom to let the tears fall.
 I had been starting to wonder if anyone—other than Charlie and Renée even cared about me. I thought the Cullen’s had loved me like family, I knew I had loved, still loved, them in that manner. All but one. I banished that thought from my head and returned to my original thought. If my own sister didn’t care if I lived or died, then how could I be sure that any of the Cullen’s had loved me like I loved them? That particular thought had me wallowing in self-pity for most of the day and after I’d showered, I’d basically collapsed into my bed and allowed exhaustion to claim me. Apparently almost dying really took it out of you.
 I’d woken to my shoulder being shaken by something very cold and as if my depressing thoughts had conjured them—well one of them—Alice Cullen had been stood there with a relieved and confused expression on her face. I’d told her everything that happened and she filled me in on some of the things the Cullen’s had been up to, though her details on Edward were minimal. I assumed that was because she didn’t want me to potentially pass on information that would hurt my sister, so I didn’t comment, though I myself was secretly relieved. Information on the boy who’d never known—would never know—that I loved him was just too much for me to handle. Bella had joined us well past dark and had a much more resigned reunion with the pixie haired Cullen. I’d been confused at her lack of enthusiasm, but she was polite enough and agreed with my insistence that Alice should stay with us for at least a few days before she left again. But she didn’t seem to care either way, and I found myself irked by that before a thought entered my mind: what if the presence of Edward’s sister was bringing up memories that were simply too difficult for her to bear? I softened marginally after considering that, but not much.
 But apparently, that hadn’t been the reason for her indifference at all, as while Alice stood in front of where Bella and I were sat on the small couch in our home, my sister couldn’t appear less interested in what the psychic vampire was saying to us. I felt my first spark of anger then, but I pushed it down knowing that I needed to convince her to come with us, otherwise we’d have no hope of saving him, and the possibility of that hurt too much for me to consider it for more than half a second.
 ‘Bella, we have to go. This is Edward we’re talking about, you owe it to him to let him know you’re alive at the very least.’ I insisted, I knew my eyes were most likely burning with panic that she wouldn’t go and anger that she looked between the vampire and me as if we were discussing the weather forecast.
 Something in my expression must have convinced her, or maybe she realized that if Alice wanted to get her to Italy, she would be able to very easily whether she wanted to go or not. Either way, I ran to my room and frantically packed two backpacks, one for each of us, full of essentials before I returned to the living room where Alice was already waiting. Bella pulled on her jacket and took her designated backpack without complaint or haste while I retrieved our passports from the drawer in the kitchen. I scribbled out a note to Charlie explaining that Alice, Bella and I were taking an impromptu trip to Seattle to spend some quality girl time together before Alice left again. I apologized for the timing but promised that we’d be in touch. I scribbled down Alice’s cell number and signed our names. Hopefully he wouldn’t be too mad, or worried, but I knew those hopes were fruitless because of course he would be. But I didn’t let that concern me as I slid into Alice’s car, at least not while I had bigger concerns on my mind. I ignored the screeching of the tires as she gunned the accelerator and sat back in my seat, eyes closing as I tried to pacify myself with imagining Edward happy and most importantly… alive.
 This had better work.
 //
 When we finally arrived in Volterra, the heart of the Volturi city, Bella had been sent off to the clock tower while Alice and I made our way to them through the shadows. I had lost sight of her in all the pedestrians wearing read from head to toe, and I found anxiety swirling in my stomach as I hoped she moved with more urgency than she’d been showing all day. If Edward exposed himself and died because Bella didn’t move with enough haste… I wasn’t sure I’d be able to forgive her.
 We located them in the alley underneath the clock tower, but neither looked happy to be in one another’s presence. In fact, Bella looked down right pissed and Edward wasn’t far off, either. The only difference in his behaviour was that his eyes held relief alongside the anger. Despite what I was sure would turn into a lover’s reunion that would wound me irreparably, I couldn’t find it within myself to care because Edward was okay. I leaped into his arms as soon as I’d saw him, not giving it a second thought as my own relief overpowered me and controlled my actions without permission.
 Before any words could be spoken between the four of us, two vampires joined us in the shadows. Their names were revealed to be Demetri and Felix and I felt myself tense as they revealed that the Volturi wanted to see all of us. My eyes flitted to my sister and away again before I gave away any weakness. She might not have cared for my well being, but I certainly cared for hers. I didn’t try to fight the sheer panic and anxiety that formed in my gut as we were herded underground by the two male vampires and the other female, Jane, that had joined us moments after. What was going to happen? They couldn’t have wanted to see Bella and I out of mere curiosity. I felt myself shiver as I realized the implication of our presence—we were going to die. I wondered if there would be any way that I could barter my life to save Bella’s, but why would they even consider that as an option, when they could easily kill us both anyway? It wasn’t like I had something to offer them that they would be interested in. It hit me then; Bella had a better chance of getting out of this than I did, regardless. Her mind defenses made her interesting, and I could only hope that Aro and the others would see potential and allow her to leave if she became immortal. That was what she wanted, anyway. And seeing as she didn’t care if I lived or died, it shouldn’t be too difficult for her to leave me behind to feed the hungry vampires. I fought back a shudder at the thought but felt myself relax with the knowledge that Edward, Alice and Bella had a very good chance of leaving here alive.
 I jolted when a cold hand enveloped mine and looked into the black eyes of Edward, gazing at me with a mixture of concern and fury. I wondered what I had done to receive such a reception but I realized that he’d probably been hearing my inner monologue and I felt my lips tilt up into a sheepish smile. I also felt my heart squeeze in hope—if he was angry with me discussing my death with myself so calmly and clinically, maybe he did care for me? Maybe all of the Cullen’s did? Or perhaps his selflessness wouldn’t allow the thought of another sacrificing their own life for his immortal one. I sighed at that thought; it was more likely after all.
 It didn’t seem to take long for us to reach the room we were expected in, or maybe it did. I’d been so lost in my own thoughts I hadn’t really been paying attention. If Edward hadn’t taken it upon himself to guide me, I probably would have ended up walking into the back of Jane, not realizing we’d stopped. I definitely would have been dinner then. I blinked myself out of my self inflicted daze and glanced around, noting the medieval structure of the small, circular room. I felt like I’d travelled back in time to the sixteenth century as the interior felt so much like a castle. The grey cobble stones made up the walls from floor to ceiling and I felt myself shiver as the coolness of the room caught up with me. The three vampires we were here to see sat in front of us on three identical wooden thrones. Aro I recognized from the painting I’d been shown once; he sat in the middle. Another dark haired vampire sat in the throne to his right, while a blonde male sat in the seat to his right. Aro looked positively delighted at our appearance, as if we were old friends who’d simply popped in for a friendly visit. I shuddered at the over familiarity and wondered if the recognition in his eyes were because of a gift similar to Alice’s. Did he know we were coming?
 He stepped down from his throne, stopping a few feet away from the four of us, clapping his hands together in delight just once before they dropped to his sides. Bella stiffened as his eyes trailed over her with moderate interest, but when they fell on me he positively beamed, much to my confusion. Edward stiffened and gripped my hand tighter, pulling me half a step behind him. I wondered what Aro had thought for him to do that, but I didn’t comment on it, trusting his judgment.
 ‘No need to fret, Edward. I simply wished to introduce myself to your… friend.’ I frowned at his emphasis on that word, his tone implied that he knew something I didn’t, which didn’t make any sense.
 ‘I understand Bella is immune to your abilities, but Y/N is not. After seeing her from your mind, your point of view, I am more than curious to see inside this particular humans head.’ He practically purred and I wondered if I would lose my head if I told him to fuck off. Probably.
 ‘What are your abilities exactly?’ I asked, my voice no more than a murmur, but that wasn’t a problem for my present company.
 ‘Aro can read every thought your mind has ever had with just one touch.’ Edward told me, his eyes remaining on the ancient vampire stood before us but his head tilted in my direction to avoid miscommunication.
 I felt my eyes widen in horror and I spoke without thinking, ‘absolutely not.’
 That only seemed to pique his interest more, if that were possible. His dark iris’s positively gleamed and he took half a step forward, pausing at the growl that left Edward’s throat. I felt my heart skip a beat at the sound, not out of fear, but surprise.
 ‘It’s nothing to fear, child. Just one touch, it’s completely painless and I must say, your reluctance has me wondering what you’re so eager to hide.’ He grinned and I wanted to scream.
 ‘I’m not worried about pain; I’m more worried about invasion of privacy. Edward I’m used to, at least with him I only have to worry about what he hears when he’s around, but for you to hear everything, things that are supposed to be private… well I can’t say I like the idea.’ I ran my free hand through my hair, stressed because I knew that Aro seeing all of my thoughts would mean that Edward would be able to read them at the same time.
 Everything I’d worked so hard to hide would be laid out on a silver platter. A wave of nausea washed over me and Edward held me tighter to his side, I felt myself relax as the cold chased away the sudden bought of sickness but my fear remained. But as I met Aro’s eyes again, I could see his patience wavering. Him “asking” had never really been him offering a choice, it had been him attempting to allude to a sense of security that I knew he wouldn’t deliver. I had no options in this. Not really. I sighed and stepped forward so that I was now half a step in front of the vampire who still had a hold on me, in more ways than one. I held out my free hand, palm up and tried not to wince when the black haired vampire was suddenly stood right in front of me, taking my thoughts greedily. His eyes glazed over as if he were suddenly somewhere else and I tried to hold back the sheer terror attempting to break free by distracting myself at how different each vampire’s skin felt. Edward’s was as cool as marble but some how soft—Aro’s felt like sandpaper that had been pulled from the freezer. I longed to release his hand but I knew it would be pointless to even try; I’d probably cause myself more harm. So I stood there for what felt like hours as Aro sifted through every thought I’d ever had with the look of a reader flicking through their favourite book. When he did release me, his eyes not quite yet returning to reality, Edward scooped me up and put a three-foot gap between me and Aro before I’d fully registered that I was even freed from the sand paper touch. I avoided Edward’s expression, afraid of what I would see now that he knew what I’d been keeping to myself for so long. Despite the panic that my feelings were most definitely going to complicate everything, I couldn’t help the small echo of relief at him, at someone, finally knowing the secret I’d buried deep inside myself. Even if one of those people was a member of the deadliest coven in the world.
 ‘So… fascinating!’ He yelled with childlike glee, his eyes flickering between Edward and I, ‘to see how much you pine for one another, how much pain could have been avoided by simple communication!’
 I frowned, confused and despite my head telling me not to, I looked up to the vampire still holding me to see his expression completely blank and void of emotion. I sighed in annoyance, wishing I could read his mind like he could so easily read mine. Aro must have misunderstood. There is simply no way that the godlike perfection of Edward Cullen would pine after me when he was so enraptured with my sister.
 ‘You don’t believe me, do you child?’ Aro’s voice caused me to look back over to him and I felt unnerved at the smug, knowing expression he wore.
 ‘You believe his heart lies with her.’ His eyes left mine to look over to the only other human in the room, his eyes narrowing in what appeared to be distaste before his dark gaze was once again back on me, ‘you believe he came here to end his own life because Bella jumped into the water.’
 I felt a flash of irritation through the confusion that was swirling through my belly. I wanted an explanation over what the hell was going on, but I didn’t want it from him. I wanted it from the vampire standing next to me, the vampire who hadn’t yet relaxed his tense and protective stance beside me. I looked past Alice, who was stood next to Edward, to my sister and wondered why she didn’t seem as confused as I did. But there was no emotion on her face. She wasn’t angry at me potentially being in love with her ex-boyfriend. If anything she looked uninterested and I briefly wondered if she loved the werewolf more than I’d realized. I’d thought he was just a rebound, after all how could anyone truly replace the incredible person she had lost due to his desire to keep her safe? Evidently, I was wrong. Bella was over Edward, perhaps more than I’d realized, and I wondered for the first time if she’d ever even missed him. If the haze she’d briefly slipped into upon his departure hadn’t been depression as I’d originally thought, but rather indifference. The answer hit me like a slap in the face.
 She’d never loved him.
 That was why it had been so easy for her to carry on as if nothing had happened. That was why she didn’t care about Edward potentially killing himself. I wondered then if I’d simply been deluding myself for the months they were together, if I’d merely been projecting the way I’d felt about the vampire onto my sister, because I couldn’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t love him with every fiber of their being.
 But if that was the case, why had they dated for so long? Why had Edward left to protect her, if there had been no love between them to begin with?
 I sighed, looking back up to Edward again, appraising his expression carefully, but it was no use. He was a master of control—he simply looked calm, emotionless and I felt like I wanted to scream in frustration. I wanted an explanation from him. I wanted to know what was going on, definitely, but I didn’t want to hear Edwards’s thoughts edited by Aro. I wanted to hear them directly, from the horse’s mouth, so to speak. But it didn’t look like I had a choice because Aro was only too delighted to relay what he’d seen like he was re-accounting his favorite TV show for those who’d missed it, and Edward was frozen still.
 ‘The most interesting part about it all is your unwillingness to admit your feelings for her, Edward, despite the fact you feel so… broken without her around.’ He tusked as he thought, most likely flicking through all he had seen, ‘you—.’
 I blinked in surprise when Edward finally unfroze, his eyes turning to me for the first time in what felt like years. I was taken aback by the emotion swirling in his dark, thirsty eyes and found myself unable to look away as he spoke, his soft voice wrapping around me like velvet.
 ‘You’re right, I do owe you an explanation and I will give it to you.’ He took an unnecessary breath, ‘your sister’s blood isn’t the blood that is irresistible to me, yours is. I dated Bella as a way of having an excuse to be near you, without being too close. I didn’t trust myself, you see, and when your sister got hurt all I saw was how easy it would be for you to be fatally injured because of me. I couldn’t bear it. That’s why I left; I figured it would be what was best for you. You didn’t know how I felt, how much I love you—your life would be untouched by me, and you’d be able to live the normal, happy life you deserved.’
 I could feel the surprise on my face, but my thoughts were spinning too fast for me to worry about my expression in that moment. Could he care about me enough to fake a relationship in order to assure I was protected from himself? I couldn’t believe it, and yet I could. I’d have be stupid to ignore the love shining in his eyes as he looked at me, to disregard the gentle and tender way that he held me. Edward loved me. My heart like it was going to expand out of my chest as I thought I love you, Edward. I always have and I always will. His eyes softened, and before him I never would have believed that black eyes could be gentle, but they were and I felt myself melting into his touch, not caring about our audience.
 There was still so much we needed to talk about, like why Bella had gone along with the relationship—she would have known that Edward’s love wasn’t genuine, that I was sure of, my sister was anything but unobservant—so why hadn’t she said anything first? I’d also needed to lecture Edward on keeping his feelings from me, on coming to Italy to end his—God, I couldn’t even finish the thought—but I was aware that there was a possibility that I wasn’t going to leave here alive. And strangely, I couldn’t bring myself to muster up too much panic over that. Knowing Edward loved me as I loved him? That was all I needed to die happy. Maybe that sounded crazy, but it was the truth. I noticed Edward’s eyes harden at the turn my thoughts had taken and he held me tighter against his side, his body once again becoming very still. His change in behaviour seemed to heighten the tension in the air, tension that I’d been blind to as we’d been lost in our own bubble for who knows how long, but I was very aware of it now.
 ‘Right, well obviously we have a matter to discuss and a verdict to come to.’ Aro smiled, his face suddenly malicious as he thought over what he could accuse us of to justify our deaths.
 I only hoped Bella, Alice and Edward would leave here alive. After all, the two vampires hadn’t broken any laws after all and Bella had the excuse of already knowing about vampires because of her werewolf boyfriend.
 ‘I don’t see how any punishments should be administered, Aro.’ Edward spoke up, his voice full of confidence and assertiveness, though his expression remained as expressionless as stone, ‘no rules were broken.’
 The blonde vampire in one of the three thrones spoke up for the first time, his long, bony finger pointing at me and then Bella as he spoke, ‘that is not true. You’ve exposed our secrets to humans. They know too much, they must either be turned or destroyed.’
 ‘Yes, Caius I would agree with you, when it comes to Y/N, but Bella is a little more complicated, I’m afraid.’ Aro pursed his lips, placing his hands to his face in a prayer potion that I was too on edge to find irony in, ‘she cohorts with werewolves, our natural enemies, and therefore her knowledge of our existence can be justified.’
 I breathed a sigh of relief at that and tried to ignore the smug smile that formed on my sister’s lips. Aro’s dark eyes turned to me next and I felt a shiver slither down my spine.
 ‘Y/N, with you my brother is correct. Humans are merely forbidden to know of our existence, except for unique circumstances, of course,’ his eyes flickered to Bella and back to me so quickly that I wondered if I’d imagined it, ‘unless Edward is willing for you to become immortal and prove it, then unfortunately you’ll die here today.’
 A growl rumbled in Edward’s chest at the threat behind the ancient vampire’s words and he held me tighter. I knew what I wanted. It was something I’d dreamed of more than once, to be with him forever. Of course the happy feeling my dream inspired was often chased away with guilt when I regained consciousness, but the desire still remained, no matter how wrong I believed it to be at the time. But now, it was possible. I could be with Edward for eternity, if he would have me. I wouldn’t want to force myself on him forever if he didn’t really want me, after all what was to say he wouldn’t lose interest within a few months of us actually being in a relationship? He could easily grow bored with me, and soon realize that I wasn’t interesting, or funny or beautiful. He would realize he didn’t love me after all, and the thought of that was so painful that the thought of dying by the hands of the Volturi didn’t seem so bad. I’d rather die now than expect an eternity with the man I loved, only for him to discard of me when he realized I wasn’t good enough for him. Because I wasn’t, was I? My heart sank with the realization and a sigh fell past my lips. I opened my mouth to tell them to kill me, because I loved Edward too much to force him into an eternity with me that he’d probably never considered, or wanted. But Alice’s voice, soft as wind chimes, injected into the conversation for the first time. I noticed Aro’s delight as the younger Cullen spoke up.
 ‘She will be one of us. I’ve seen it. I can show you, if you’d like.’ She held out her hand, the same way I had, but somehow with much more grace. Aro stepped forward and took it eagerly, his eyes un-focusing and a look of sheer enjoyment freezing on his face.
 I took his distraction as an opportunity to look up to Edward, my eyes pausing on the dark circles underneath his orbs and wondering just how long he’d gone without feeding. He looked incredibly thirsty and I felt my heart twist in concern. His eyes met mine, soft as melted licorice and smiled a small, gentle smile that had my heart stuttering in my chest. I thought he might grin at the reaction, but Aro’s gasp of wonder drew our attention and I looked over to see him taking me in with an appreciative gleam in his eyes.
 ‘I can see that there are no issues at all.’ He grinned, but it didn’t offer any comfort, ‘you are free to go, we ask only that you do not linger in the city.’
 ‘That won’t be a problem.’ Edward’s voice was polite, but the hostility behind his speech was still present, even if it was only the slightest hint.
 I looked over to Aro, managing a glimpse before Edward steered me away, and I wondered if he’d been able to sense he anger behind his words. It didn’t seem like it—he was smiling like a cat that ate the cream, no trace of offence on his expression at all. I leaned further into Edward’s hold as we escaped back through the way we came, Alice and Bella trailing behind us. It didn’t take us long to reach the streets and after the younger Cullen had retrieved our bags from wherever she’d stashed them earlier, we climbed into the new car she’d managed to steal. Bella sat in the passenger seat while Edward and I took the back. I marveled at how natural it felt to be in the vampire’s arms, it was if I belonged there and I tentatively wondered if it felt the same for him.
 ‘Are you okay?’ my fingers carefully traced the dark circles underneath his eyes that hinted at the discomfort he was probably feeling.
 He took my fingers in his free hand and bought them to his lips, kissing them before entwining our hands together. My heart stuttered in my chest and he smiled, ‘I’m perfectly fine, better than fine actually.’ His face went to my hair and I could hear him inhale my scent, a contented noise falling from his lips.
 ‘I know what you mean.’ I murmured, turning my face into the crook of his neck and inhaling his sweet, addictive scent. I’d never been this close before—in the past I’d only ever caught a whiff as he walked past me, or reached over me to grab something, but now I was surrounded by his wonderful smell and I found myself pleasantly overwhelmed.
 ‘By the way, we will talk about those absurd thoughts you were having earlier. Don’t think I’ll forget.’ His voice was low as he murmured in my ear, the promise behind his words made me shiver and I wondered what thoughts he was talking about.
 ‘Okay,’ I agreed, knowing he’d have to be near me to have that conversation, and I still wasn’t completely convinced that he wasn’t going to change his mind on a whim.
 A small rumble sounded in his chest, but it wasn’t threatening, it was more a sound of frustration and I wondered if his thirst was bothering him more than he wanted me to know. I was just thinking about moving off his lap—honestly I couldn’t even remember how I’d got there—but he was holding me tighter before I could even complete the thought. I didn’t fight him, trusting that he knew his own thirst and restrictions better than I did, and it wasn’t like I was uncomfortable, so I decided to appreciate his closeness, not knowing when I’d get the chance again. My eyes fluttered shut as I worked to commit the moment to memory—the way he felt against me, hard, cold and comforting, the way he smelled, sweet, wonderful and soothing. I was so dedicated to my attempt at committing that moment to memory, that unconsciousness fell over me without warning, but in the arms of the man I loved I couldn’t help but feel anything other than content.
 //
 Waking up was a disorientating experience. I was still in a car, but it was different somehow, and I wasn’t conscious enough to figure out why that was or how I’d been moved without being woken. I was still in Edward’s cold, comforting hold and I found myself wanting to fall back into unconsciousness, more tired than I realized, but I heard voices that I wasn’t expecting. My eyes fluttered open and I glanced around, shying away from the brightness outside of the car window and hiding my face into Edward’s neck for a moment to give my eyes time to adjust. I couldn’t resist a discrete inhale while I was there and I felt myself relax further into his arms before I lifted my head again, looking to the driver. I frowned in confusion when I saw a bulky, brawny frame instead of Alice; I was even more confused to see blonde hair over the passenger headrest instead of my sister’s brunette head.
 ‘How long have I been out?’ My voice sounded scratchy and I found myself wishing I had a bottle of water to soothe it. I settled for clearing my throat and swallowing a few times instead.
 ‘Just over ten hours.’ Edward’s musical voice answered, soft and soothing as his lips found my hair. My heart sped up and he chuckled quietly, his eyes fluttering shut as if he were savoring the sound.
 ‘Where’s Bella?’
 ‘She’s in the other car with Alice, Jasper, Carlisle and Esme. Rosalie wanted to ride with us to try and apologise, of course your unconsciousness didn’t really help her there.’ He chuckled again, a mixture of amused and angry.
 I frowned, ‘I’m clearly missing something here.’
 ‘Alice didn’t tell you how I heard about her vision?’ he looked down to me, continuing when he found the answer in my head, his voice bleak, ‘Rosalie tracked me down to tell me what Alice saw. I called to see if it was true and a boy… Jacob? Answered the phone and told me Charlie was planning the funeral.’
 That was news to me, I hadn’t even known there had been a phone call, or that Jacob had even been over that day. I’d come down stairs to find Alice stood in the middle of the living room, frozen with horror and Bella sat on the couch, confused and a little annoyed. All I’d known was that Edward had gone to Italy to— I shuddered, unable to finish the thought—that was all I needed to know. The why or how didn’t matter to me, I just knew I’d needed to stop him. My hold on his shoulders tightened as relief overcame me—we’d succeeded, he was fine, safe.
 ‘Y/N?’ Rosalie’s voice bought me out of my thoughts and I looked over to her, my eyes softening at the remorse I saw in her honey colored eyes, ‘I’m so terribly sorry that my rashness resulted in you having to risk your life, but I will never be able to thank you adequately for being brave enough to save my brother. I certainly don’t deserve it, but I hope you can forgive me.’
 ‘Of course I forgive you, Rosalie. How or why doesn’t mean anything to me, all I cared about was making sure Edward left Italy alive. That’s all that matters.’ I gripped him tighter to prove my point and my eyes fluttered shut when his cool lips kissed me behind my ear.
 ‘Thank you, Y/N.’ Rosalie said, sounding much less troubled, but I suspected that she was going to beat herself up over this for a long time. I offered her what I hoped was a comforting smile.
 I wished she wouldn’t, I meant what I said about the how or why not mattering, but if we really considered it, wasn’t this really my fault? I was the one who jumped off that cliff after Bella. I flinched as I remembered waking up on the beach to the alpha being the only one who seemed to care for my wellbeing. Edward’s arms tightened around my waist and a growl rumbled in his chest, clearly not pleased with my sister’s lack of interest in my life. I melted further into him, grateful for how safe his arms made me feel and I found myself selfishly hoping that I wouldn’t lose that. That I wouldn’t lose this feeling… that I wouldn’t lose him. But as I started to recognize the familiar sights that told me were entering Forks, I realized that wouldn’t be possible.
 ‘I’m not leaving.’ His lips were at my ear, his cool breath making me shiver and feel warm all at once, ‘I promise, I’ll never leave you again, Y/N. Not unless you order me away.’
 I turned, looking into his dark eyes and I felt my heart pound at the sincerity that I saw in there, but still doubt crept in. Was he promising me this because he felt indebted to me for saving his life? Not that I thought that was entirely my doing, it had certainly been a group effort, but still… could that be a possibility? His eyes flashed and darkened, something that I wouldn’t have thought achievable as his orbs were already unbelievably black, but the anger dragged them further into the abyss.
 ‘Like I said, we’ll talk about your thoughts later, when you have time. But for now, you’ve got to go home and check in with Charlie. You’re excuse was a good one so he hasn’t sent out a search party for you… yet.’ His eyes had softened, but the hardness still lingered around the edges.
 I blinked, processing his words, ‘I said Alice, Bella and I had gone to Seattle for a few days before she left… won’t he find it odd that I’m being dropped off by you three?’
 Edward smiled, ‘you’re not. We’re going back to our house first and Alice will drive the both of you back in the same car she arrived in.’
 I nodded—that made sense after all and so there wasn’t anything more to say. I sighed as I thought about being able to have a shower, and brush my teeth. My clothes hadn’t even changed in the days we’d been gone, despite the backpack of essentials I’d packed. It just hadn’t seemed important. All I’d been able to think about, to worry about, was Edward. Showering and changing hadn’t been a priority, at least not for me. I sighed again, this time dejected as I wished the vampire holding me didn’t have to leave, even if it would only be for a few hours.
 ‘We’ll be back together before you know it. After I’ve changed, hunted and showered—not in that order—I’ll be climbing through your window, I promise.’ His words wrapped around me like a warm blanket on a cool winters night.
 ‘I believe you.’ I murmured, falling silent again, hoping Charlie didn’t give us too much of an inquisition.
 Edward and I had to talk.
 //
 Charlie hadn’t had much of a reaction when Bella and I walked through the door. In fact, he didn’t seem perturbed by our arrival at all; he spared us a glance and a mumbled greeting before returning to the game he was watching on TV. I sighed in relief and made my way upstairs while Bella called out that she was heading over to see Jake. Charlie replied with an affirmative and I heard the sound of my sister’s truck starting as I climbed the stairs and headed straight for the bathroom.
 The first thing I did was brush my teeth, scrubbing until I was sure all of the grime had been removed and the horrible taste in my mouth had been replaced with mint. Then I’d stripped off my clothes and spent longer than what was probably necessary in the shower. I couldn’t help it—it felt so good to be clean again, and I couldn’t help but revel in the feeling for longer than I usually did. But I eventually washed the last of the suds off my body and the conditioner out of my hair. Satisfied, I wrapped my hair and body in separate towels before heading to my bedroom. After making sure Edward wasn’t already waiting in my room, I dried myself off and quickly dressed in some cotton shorts and an oversized sweater I’d stolen from Charlie a few summers ago. I left my hair down to dry and tossed the damp towels into my laundry hamper along with the clothes I’d worn for who knows how long. I moisturized my face and applied deodorant but didn’t bother with perfume.
 Once I was decent I decided to head downstairs to get myself something to eat once I realized that I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d ate something. That might have been a contributing factor to my exhaustion I thought as I pulled out a few slices of left over pizza that Charlie must have ordered while we were gone. I placed them on a plate and then put them in the microwave, pouring myself a glass of milk and sipping on it as I waited. Half of the beverage was gone when the microwave beeped. I pulled the plate out and sat down, chewing quickly but carefully, not wanting to burn myself on the reheated food. It didn’t take long and soon enough my dishes were washed and put away and I was heading back upstairs after calling out a goodnight to my dad.
 The smile that formed on my face was wide and involuntary when I saw Edward sat in the centre of my bed, eyes closed and still as a statue. I felt my heart speed up at the sight of him; he looked serene, the dark circles under his eyes now gone, his clothes fresh, and she small smile on his lips hinting at knowledge of my reaction. I stepped into the room, barely registering the door closing behind me and the lock clicking in place. Before I could even blink he was in front of me, taking his hands in mine, the cold temperature of his skin quickly chased away by the warmth his touch bought me. I wondered if it would always be that way, and I found myself hoping it would as he led me to my bed, sitting down next to me and burying his face in my hair.
 ‘Hmm I will never get used to how wonderfully sweet you smell to me, Y/N.’ His voice was a purr against my neck as he placed a kiss to the hollow of my throat. My eyes closed, the pleasure his touch bought too potent to fight.
 ‘Before we get too carried away and lost in the moment, there are some things we need to discuss,’ he said, his voice light but I could detect the importance behind his words.
 I turned my head to look him in the eyes; the butterscotch color that greeted me was so smooth I felt my heart melting in my chest, as I got lost in his hypnotic gaze. He chuckled, his fingers gently caressing my cheek before his hands found mine as if he were restraining us both in his iron clad grip.
 ‘There are some thoughts I heard in Volterra and again on the way home that have me concerned.’ His eyes conveyed his worry, ‘the idea that I could ever be bored of you, Y/N, is so ludicrous that I cannot quite put it into words. I have tried to pin point the moment I fell in love with you hundreds, if not thousands of times, but I remain unsuccessful because I cannot remember a time that I didn’t love you with every fiber of my being. I’ve never loved someone like this before, so I have nothing to compare it to, but I’m certain that it isn’t the type of love that you ever grow bored of.’ His disbelief at the notion simply couldn’t be faked, not that well, even by Edward, ‘my reluctance to turn you into a vampire has more to do with me not wanting to risk your soul. I believe that we as creatures are cursed to eternal damnation, that our souls are condemned the moment we are bitten, and to doom you to that same fate… I couldn’t do that to you, Y/N, no matter how wonderful the idea of forever with you is.’
 ‘You really love me?’ I asked, my voice not holding as much disbelief a once had over the topic, ‘you would have me forever? You’re not saying this because you feel indebted to me?’
 He chuckled, his honey eyes dancing with mirth as he lifted a hand to ruffle my hair before dropping it to rest on top of mine again, ‘of course not, silly girl. I wouldn’t pretend to be in love with someone because they saved my life, perhaps I would offer the ability to call in a favour, but that’s it. And as for forever, the idea of it doesn’t sound so daunting if you were there to share it with me, but I wouldn’t, couldn’t do that to you.’
 I was silent for a long moment as I took in the sincerity of his words, and the epiphany hit me so quickly and unexpectedly that I felt like I’d been punched in the ribs. I remembered all the times almost eight months ago now, before he left, when I’d swear Edward was staring at me, only to look up and see him looking in the complete opposite direction, with a smile on his face and a soft look in his beautiful golden eyes. I remembered the times that I’d been having a horrible day at school and something small but significant to me had happened to improve my mood—the red velvet cupcake in my locker after I’d got my period in gym—the offer to write me a copy of his notes after I’d been close to tears of frustration at being unable to keep up with the teacher—those were only a few examples, of course. All things he’d done to make my day better, to help me in any way he could. How had I not seen it sooner? Why had I let my own insecurities convince me that I’d never been worthy of his love? Because it was clear to me now, the epiphany cleared my vision and allowed me to see the truth, uncorrupted by my self-destructive thoughts: Edward loved me as much as I loved him. The love in his warm eyes and his dazzling smile confirmed it.
 After that topic was discussed we somehow found ourselves lying in my bed. I was underneath the blue sheets while Edward lay on top, the thin cotton providing a little resistance to the cold emanating from the vampire, not that I minded. My head rested against his chest and my right hand was entwined with his left, as we both seemed to delight in playing with each other’s fingers.
 ‘There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.’ I murmured, keeping my eyes on his hand in mine.
 He sighed, already knowing what I was going to ask, I wanted to hear his explanation, to know why he had done what he had done, ‘when Rosalie told me that Alice had a vision of you drowning and I called Charlie and that boy seemed to confirm it, I was beside myself with grief. I’d already been in bad shape, trying to keep away from you, but learning that you were dead… I couldn’t bear it. It may seem an overreaction seeing as you didn’t even know of my feelings for you, but I’ve loved you for so long, and taking myself away from you for your own safety was like losing a part of my heart. It was a constant ache that I couldn’t soothe, but that was nothing to how it felt when I thought you were gone. My heart felt completely and utterly… void, as if you’d taken it with you to whatever afterlife you’d gone. A part of me liked the idea of that, that you had my core with you, wherever you were. But the majority of me was smothered with an emptiness that burned from the inside out, and I knew I couldn’t possibly face an eternity of that feeling. That was why I decided to go to Italy, to end my own life, because I selfishly couldn’t bear the thought of the pain, but also because a small secret part of me hoped we would be reunited in another life. I do believe that our souls are cursed to damnation from the first bite, but that didn’t stop me from wishing that I could see you again, to reveal my feelings…’ he paused, tilting my chin up with a cool, long and gentle finger. He wiped away the tears that had fallen, ‘I’m incredibly grateful that I have had the opportunity to be honest with you and to show you how loved, adored and cherished you are, so long as you want me.’
 ‘I’ll always want you, Edward.’ I said, my voice ringing with a finality that made his eyes soften with awe, ‘that will never change.’
 He didn’t say anything, because nothing needed to be said. After a while, I felt myself fighting sleep, not wanting to miss a moment of the perfect serenity I felt in his company, especially now I was sure it was real. But Edward knew, of course, and he picked up one of the books I had piled on my bedside table and started to quietly read to me, his voice wrapping around the words like velvet, the softness impossible to resist. I found myself idly wondering how he knew that his voice relaxed me to the point of contentedness, but I was too far-gone to voice it as sleep claimed me.
 //
 ‘This is ridiculous! Who cares about a play Shakespeare wrote two hundred years ago?’ I groaned, my head hitting the desk in front of me with more force than necessary, but I hardly noticed the pain—Othello had already given me a headache, what was a little more?
 Edward chuckled, his cool, soft touch moving up and down my spine in a comforting gesture. It had been a few weeks since Italy and we were both back in school, him falling into the curriculum with ease while I was struggling even though I hadn’t missed any classes.
 ‘He’s not so bad, love.’ His cheek rested against mine as I lifted my head, and I had to take a moment to get used to the sweet, comforting scent that was encircled around me.
 I sighed, feeling my body meld to his as he wrapped his arm around my waist, I turned my head and rested it against his shoulder, wondering how long I could get away with avoiding the literature in front of me. I much preferred being in Edward’s arms to trying to decipher the old English in front of me. The vampire chuckled at my actions, and my thoughts too knowing him, and held me tighter. I felt him kiss my hair and take a deep inhale. The contented sound, too low for others to hear, made my heart skip a beat—I could’ve sworn I felt him smile against my scalp when he heard it.
 All too soon Edward leaned me away from him and I straightened with a reluctant sigh, knowing he wouldn’t be releasing me unless it was necessary. And sure enough, the teacher was returning to the classroom, photocopies for his next lecture in hand. The kiss Edward placed on my forehead lessened my frustration a little, and when he pulled away we shared a genuine, happy smile before we returned to the essay question we’d been given.
 ‘Seriously is this even English?’ I rubbed at my temples, knowing I was going to have one hell of a headache before this class was even over.
 ‘Just focus on the key words in the question, and put together what they want you to say from that.’ At my confused look he elaborated, managing to explain it in a way I understood. I could have kissed him, but I didn’t, instead I looked back down to my paper, hoping he didn’t notice the blush on my cheeks.
 We hadn’t actually kissed yet, not properly anyway. I didn’t know why, because in every other way each movement was natural in a way that felt like we’d been together for years rather than weeks. It might have been my fault—I’d never been in a relationship before, and I’d certainly never kissed anyone. So I might have been subconsciously avoiding it out of fear of doing it wrong, of being awful at it. But that was crazy, right? I mean, everyone had to have their first kiss sometime and as long as it was with the right person, someone who cared about you as much as you did them, then a little potential awkwardness was nothing to be afraid of. Logically, I knew that, but I was a coward and inexperienced, so I didn’t want to be the one to make the first move—especially not at school. People were still staring, partly because the Cullen’s were back—well Alice and Edward were, the rest had “graduated” almost a year ago—and partly because I was the Swan Edward was holding hands with in the halls now. I hadn’t actually heard anyone talking about it, nor had I had anyone directly ask me anything, but I knew they were talking about it. I didn’t want to know what they were saying, because I couldn’t imagine any of them were nice things, but I felt more like an animal in a zoo than I did human these days. So first kiss at school was completely out of the question, even if being around Edward was like being in our own specially designed indestructible bubble. I didn’t want them to have any more ammunition than they already had.
 The bell rang as I was finishing up my last sentence and Edward waited patiently for me to pack up before taking my backpack and my hand. On our way to the cafeteria my sister passed us, heading in the direction of the exit, I frowned and was about to call out to her when my vampire whispered an explanation in my ear.
 ‘Jacob’s come to meet her for lunch, don’t worry she’s not ditching.’ He placed a kiss behind my ear before pulling back and any trace of concern I’d had was replaced by a pleasant tingle where his lips had touched my skin.
 ‘I still don’t understand what happened there, you know.’ I murmured too low for other eavesdropping students to hear, but Edward wasn’t any other student.
 ‘Bella knew that our relationship wasn’t genuine, she went along with it because she hated the other male attention she was getting from students she wasn’t interested in. She noticed the other human’s reluctance to be near us and figured I’d be good at keeping any unwanted admirers at bay.’ He whispered into my ear, placing random food items on the tray I was carrying for the “both” of us.
 ‘Okay… it just seems a little extreme, especially after what happened last spring.’ He knew what I was referring to, and his eyes tightened slightly as he remembered James, Laurent and Victoria. His response was low as we took our seats at our usual table, Alice was already there, her eyes lighting up at our approach.
 ‘That was an unforeseen circumstance, those vampires weren’t supposed to pass through our territory and changed their mind at the last second.’ He said, his words coated with guilt even though nothing had actually happened, ‘we dealt with them, anyway, there and then. I’m just relieved you weren’t there. If James, the tracker had smelt your blood and seen my protectiveness over you… it could have turned into a game for him.’
 I nodded, smiling as he slid my seat closer to him so the left side of my body was in line with his right. His arm settled over my shoulders and I reached forward to grab a banana from the tray of food that settled on the table in between us.
 ‘Can I ask you something? And will you be completely honest with me, even if you think it’ll hurt my feelings?’ I asked, my voice quiet as I looked in between both Alice and Edward.
 It was about Bella. My sister’s dismissal and lack of interest in my life had been playing on my mind a lot lately. Had she always had this attitude towards me, and I’d just been too lost in being the protective older sister that I hadn’t noticed? Edward of course heard the question before I voiced it out loud and the sadness that swirled in his honey colored eyes told me the answer before his musical voice could deliver it. He kissed my forehead and caressed my cheek, before Alice’s soft; wind chime bell voice broke the moment.
 ‘Bella has never shown any kind of interest in your well-being, Y/N, in the moments I’ve seen between the two of you now and in the future.’ I could hear the sadness in her voice as well and I bit my lip in an attempt to keep the tears at bay.
 How could it be? Had I done something wrong? Something she couldn’t forgive me for? I racked my brains, but I couldn’t think of anything, except Edward, but I knew they’d never loved each other that way, and she was definitely in love with the werewolf so what was it?
 ‘It was nothing you did, love.’ He kissed my hair again, his soft voice murmuring into the dark strands, ‘you’re not responsible for her decisions or her feelings, do you understand? It’s her loss and you have plenty of others who love you like a sister, some a daughter and one who loves you with every fiber of his existence.’
 A wave of pure happiness washed over me as I looked in between the two Cullen’s. They were right, what was one person’s lack of love in the face of a whole family who cared for me as their own? I decided then and there that Bella’s decision to treat me as a stranger rather than a sister would never bother me again, because I had all the family I could ever need, and the love of a man who was more perfect than I deserved. I was the luckiest human in the world.
 //
 The rest of the day flew by and I was so relieved—we only had a few more weeks left until graduation and I could have a break from the headaches the exams were bringing me. As Edward and I drove to his house—my request as I knew Charlie would be at work and Bella would probably be at the reservation—I wondered if I’d have another chance to graduate school. As a vampire. I wondered if I’d have the chance to graduate enough times to the point where I’d be able to face the curriculum, exams, with the same casual confidence that Edward and the rest of the Cullen’s could.
 It wasn’t as if I’d never considered it before, and despite Edward’s assurance that the Volturi wouldn’t come to check my mortality any time soon; I found myself picturing it more than I ever had. It used to be that I would dream of it, dream of being with Edward forever, to have him look at me like he loved me, and I would wake up and reality would shine down on me as the sun rose behind the clouds. At that point I’d force the secret desire down, ashamed to feel such a way about my sister’s boyfriend. But now I knew my feelings were returned, it was hard not to think about my future with the vampire, and no matter how many times I thought about it, my desire to join him as an immortal didn’t change.
 I knew he didn’t want that, because of my soul, but I also knew that this didn’t just involve him anymore, it involved all of the Cullen’s. All of the ones I’d considered as family when I’d first met them over a year ago. They all—except for Rosalie—had accepted me a lot faster than my sister. At the time I hadn’t understood why, but I’d come to learn it was because Alice’s visions assured that I was going to be a member of the family soon, while Bella was not. And now I worried about when the Volturi would come, would Edward’s inherent desire to keep me human result in the destruction of the family I’d barely had the time to get to know?
 We arrived at the white mansion in the woods and Edward was opening my door for me before I had even unclipped my seatbelt. I offered him a thankful smile as I climbed from the car and took his hand. He returned it, but I didn’t reach his eyes—I knew that meant he’d been listening to my thoughts and he wasn’t fond of what he had heard. I kissed his cheek, and tugged him lightly; he released a breath and led me into the house. It was quiet when we entered and he revealed that Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Rosalie were on a hunting trip in Mount Rainer, while Esme and Carlisle had gone away to visit friends in Alaska for the weekend.
 ‘Do you need to hunt?’ I asked, my fingers tracing the barely noticeable circles that were starting to form underneath his eyes—his orbs were still golden, but were darker like honeycomb rather than the butterscotch shade that meant his thirst was satiated. It wasn’t something you’d notice unless you knew what you were looking for.
 ‘I’m fine, they’ve only gone for a chance to hunt something other than deer and elk.’ He smirked, kissing the palm of the hand that still lingered on his perfect face, ‘if I get thirsty I’ll be out and back within an hour.’
 I smiled, my eyes falling to his lips and my earlier thoughts popped back into my head. My heart picked up and my breath got caught in my throat, before I could shake my head to clear it of my errant thoughts, Edward’s cool hands placed mine on his shoulders. I gripped him there and shivered in pleasure when his touch glided down the exposed skin of my arms, to my waist, where he pulled me closer. I didn’t know what was happening, but I didn’t have the concentration power to ponder it, as the warmth his touch left behind was distracting me. My eyes fluttered shut when his forehead fell against my own. I could feel the coolness of his body, the sweetness of his breath, and his scent surrounded me to the point of my mind being overwhelmed with him.
 When his lips met mine, soft, icy and tentative I swear I was incapable of coherent thought. All I could think about was how wonderful and right his mouth felt moving against mine. As the kiss progressed, his tentativeness melted away and turned into something more sure, more passionate and fiery. A sound echoed in the high ceilinged room, but I was too lost to wonder if that sound came from me. My hands moved of their own accord and slid into his soft bronze hair, attempting to pull him closer than he already was. I was aware of my lungs burning in my chest, but having Edward so close was beyond intoxicating, and so I was incapable of pondering what that meant. My vampire’s hands moved to mine in his hair and gently but firmly broke my hold. After another moment, his lips stopped in their movement and he pulled an inch away from me, allowing the opportunity to breathe. It was then that I realized how much I needed oxygen as my lungs pulled the air in as quickly as possible. My forehead fell to his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around my waist as he too caught his breath. He recovered before I did and lifted me up to sit on the couch in the living room with me on his lap. It felt like it took longer than it did, but eventually my breathing returned to normal and I leaned back, staring into his eyes as an unstoppable thought echoed through my mind.
 That was my first kiss ever and my first last kiss.
 ‘That was…wow.’ I blushed at my incapability to adequately put the kiss into words, but I wasn’t going to try when I knew it was fruitless.
 ‘I couldn’t agree with you more, love.’ His smile was dazzling and I felt myself beam in response to his happiness.
 I slid to his side so that we could watch the TV together, ignoring the desire to press my lips to his; I needed to be good. I knew how difficult it was for him to touch me in the simplest of ways, and I know if I’d been the vampire in that interaction, I would have had great difficulty concentrating on not hurting him while my thoughts were overwhelmed with desire. That was why I rarely initiated any touches between us; I didn’t want to take him by surprise, I wanted him to be in complete control when he touched me, because it was him who had the most difficulty. I smiled when his lips kissed my hair, and snuggled closer into his side, sighing contentedly when he held me a little tighter. At around dinnertime I called Charlie and asked permission to sleep over at Alice’s. I lied and told him the rest of the family was camping this weekend and I wanted to keep her company. He bought it and I hung up as Edward rejoined me in the living room. My brows rose in pleasant surprise when I saw that he was carrying a bowl of cheesy pasta and a glass of water.
 ‘You cooked?’ I grinned at the bashful, proud expression on his face, ‘how?’
 ‘Learned from the cooking channel.’ He winked and I ignored the fact my heart skipped a beat as I accepted the meal from him. He settled next to me again, his arm around my shoulders as I ate.
 ‘There’s something I want to run by you.’ I admitted, placing my now empty bowl onto the coffee table next to my half empty glass of water, ‘I want to put up a vote. For me becoming a vampire.’
 I felt him stiffen and after stealing myself, I looked up at his expression. It was frozen in surprise, but I could see the horror and rage burning in his honeycomb eyes.
 ‘I know how you feel on the subject, and I know what your answer will be, but this is more than just me and you now, Edward. It involves everyone, and I will not put everyone in danger because of me.’ My voice was firm and sure; it was something I’d been thinking about for weeks now; whenever Edward wasn’t around to distract my thoughts. I knew what I wanted, I’d never been more sure of anything, and I wanted to start living that life. Not because I felt the pressure of the Volturi potentially popping by for a visit, but because I wanted an eternity with him. Call it irrational, call it too fast, but I didn’t care.
 He was silent for a long moment, his eyes observing my expression and listening to the thoughts in my mind. Eventually the hardness around his eyes thawed and he nodded once, clearly not happy, but he respected my decision. I smiled, more than grateful for his attitude and kissed the palm of the hand that was resting over my shoulders. I knew he’d argue the opposing side, and I was fine with that, because I knew either way, vampire or not, he would be by my side loving me as I love him. And that’s all that mattered.
 //
 Epilogue: ten years later.
 After the Cullen’s had voted in favour of me becoming immortal 5-2, I’d been turned at the end of July. Between graduation and then, quite a few things had happened. Edward had presented me with a proposition. He’d asked me to marry him in exchange for him turning me into a vampire instead of Carlisle. What had surprised him was my willingness to do that—despite my Mom and Dad’s failed marriage, I’d always dreamed of finding my own husband one day. Of finding the perfect man for me to spend the rest of my life with, and after joking with Edward that I’d expected a proper proposal rather than a business deal from an old-fashioned gentleman, he’d grinned and promised to make it up to me.
 Not two days later he took me to a meadow he’d discovered in the forest. The moon was high enough in the sky to brighten the field for us, and it created a perfectly romantic ambiance. We’d had a picnic in the moonlight, a few battery operated candles also placed in the grass to allow my less sensitive eyes better sight. When I’d finished the delicious sandwiches that he’d once again prepared, he pulled me to my feet before he himself dropped to one knee. I’ll never forget the way he looked at me that night—his eyes had been softer than honey and shone with so much love and adoration that my knees felt weak. He promised to love me forever and asked me to marry him. I’d of course said yes, jumping into his arms and kissing him passionately. He’d chuckled and placed a finger to my lips as I’d been about to apologise for hurdling myself at him when I knew how careful he tried to be. All thoughts of apologies melted from my mind as I watched him slide the ring onto my finger—it was a white gold emerald cut ring, the centre stone was topaz in colour and there were white diamonds on either side. The yellow stone reminded me of his eyes and he’d sheepishly chuckled and admitted that was why he’d chosen it, because he wanted me to have a reminder of him with me always.
 We’d officially tied the knot in July at the Cullen property. It had been a very small, intimate wedding, despite Alice’s desire to expand the guest list. There weren’t more than fifty people in attendance, and it couldn’t have been more perfect. Alice of course organized everything—I hadn’t trusted anyone else to pull together a wedding in such a short space of time, and I certainly had no idea where to start. Other than asking Alice to be my maid of honour and Rosalie to be a bridesmaid, seeing as she was more of a sister than Bella was, even if she didn’t like me very much, I’d given up the reins completely to the psychic vampire. Charlie and Renée had been in attendance, but Bella hadn’t been invited. Edward and Alice had asked me numerous times if I was sure of that decision, but I knew I was. She wasn’t my family and she hadn’t been for a long time, she had made that decision and I was simply respecting her wishes. And as I’d realized all those weeks ago— your family didn’t have to be the ones you were biologically related to.
 My dress had been magnificent; it was form fitting and yet not so tight that I couldn’t walk properly. It was overlaid with lace and held a mixture of vintage and modern; a perfect representation of Edward and I. Alice and Rosalie both wore baby pink floor length dresses, the silk material being simple and yet elegant. Jasper and Emmett had led their respective partners down the isle, with the curly haired vampire being Edward’s best man. Charlie walked me down the isle and Carlisle officiated the wedding—I’d suggested to my vampire that having someone we both loved officiate the ceremony would make it that much more meaningful, and he’d agreed. There had been no question over whom we would ask, and the emotion that had overcome the eldest Cullen’s face when we’d asked would be something I’d never forget.
 After Edward and I had officially been joined in holy matrimony, we’d left the very same night to enjoy our honeymoon. Edward had insisted on surprising me with the location and I’d been happy to let him have the responsibility—all of the ideas I had were places that were known for rain. I figured that would be best with my husband being a vampire; I didn’t want him to spend the three weeks confined to the indoors, only to come out at night. However, I didn’t need to worry about that as he had taken me to Isle Esme, a gift from Carlisle just off the coast of Brazil. The privacy meant we could be out in the sunlight as often as we wanted and I was grateful for that as we spent most of our days hiking, swimming in the ocean or lying on the beach.
 Despite the traditions of a “honeymoon” we didn’t take that step during our three-week blissful vacation. I knew how difficult it would be for him and I told him I had none of those expectations because of that reason. I didn’t want him to wonder if my lack of interest had anything other underlying reasons behind it. Because it wasn’t that I was uninterested— in fact, I was very much looking forward to being able to be with him in that way, but I didn’t want to push it. Though I trusted him completely, I knew he’d never forgive himself if he slipped even for a second and accidentally hurt me. But I didn’t need sex to feel close to him. For the entire vacation we were attached at the hip, whether it was holding hands, or me sitting in his lap with his arms wrapped around me, we were never not touching. It was wonderful.
 Unfortunately, it couldn’t last forever and when we returned back to Forks Edward and I took some time to visit Charlie before we went to Alaska for “collage”. It was nice to see him again and remind him I would always love him as I said goodbye at the doorstep of the home I’d grown up in. Bella hadn’t been there and when I’d asked Charlie told me she was on a trip with Jacob, but that suited me just fine; her absence meant our farewell wasn’t tainted by disdainful glances.
 Upon arriving in Alaska, I realized the house we moved into was of the same interior style to the one in Washington and it was hard not to find the familiar decoration comforting. The whole family was reunited upon the move as a new state meant the opportunity to start over, though it was believed I wouldn’t be able to leave the house for a few years as I mastered my thirst and ability to resist human blood. Edward had changed me on the last day of July—the last thing I saw, before the pain became so unbearable that focusing on something else was impossible, was the honeycomb eyes of my husband, full of love, adoration and remorse. The pain burned consistently for what felt like longer than the three days I was promised, but I knew Edward never left my side as screams passed through my lips despite my attempts to hold them in.
 He held my hand through it all, and when I woke up to face my new life, his face was the first thing I saw. I remember being completely amazed by his magnificent beauty as I looked at him through my new eyes—it had been like seeing him for the first time. The hand that wasn’t being held in his reached up and traced over his cheek gently, mindful of the extra strength I’d been warned about, and a gasp had left my lips at the feel of his skin against mine. It felt smoother somehow, and warmer. He’d smiled and reminded me that we were the same temperature now and I returned the gesture, reaching up and pulling his mouth down to mine. We kissed passionately for a moment and when we parted I told him I loved him. He had beamed with happiness and hugged me to his chest, inhaling my scent and relaxing for what I was sure had been the first time in three days.
 Carlisle, Esme and Jasper had joined us then. The former couple welcoming me to the family while the latter eyed me warily. I’d frowned in confusion, and a little offense, until I’d realized what had caused his behaviour—I was the newborn, he was expecting me to be bloodthirsty and irrational. As that thought crossed my mind I became aware of the burning in my throat—I felt like I hadn’t had a drink in weeks and I knew what I needed. Edward smiled comfortingly and I relaxed at once as he announced that we were going hunting. That had been incredible. Running through the forests in my new home had been thrilling, my enhanced senses making it more beautiful than I’d thought possible. Hunting didn’t take as long as I’d thought, and after drinking a few bears and a moose, I felt full and the burning in my throat was none existent. As we’d returned to the house, racing with Edward, I was overjoyed at how happy and content I felt—this was the life I was destined to live. I was certain of it.
 I blinked out of my trip down memory lane as someone gently but firmly kicked my leg under the table. I looked up to see Jasper cocking his brow at me in question—he’d probably felt the thirst I’d been remembering as I woke up as a newborn. I shook my head in answer to his silent inquiry and went back to picking apart the cookie on my plate that I of course had no desire to eat. Edward and Emmett hadn’t joined us at the table yet—their class had been on the other side of campus and they had to move at a human pace to get here, so the four of us usually beat them. My lips pursed as my gaze flickered out of the window and when I saw the snow that was falling in thick flakes to the ground, my lips twitched as I fought a smile.
 ‘Your doing?’ Alice asked, her lips not even moving as she followed my gaze.
 ‘Maybe.’ I grinned.
 That was something I’d discovered in my first few years—I could influence the elements, including being able to change the weather whenever I wanted. I didn’t do it often, as Carlisle had pointed out that constant and unpredictable changes in weather were bound to draw attention and obviously, that wasn’t okay. So I only ever gave into the desire once every few months, otherwise I restricted my influence behind closed doors where no one else was aware. It was fun, but beyond anything else it relaxed me and provided a healthy outlet for any emotions I couldn’t express otherwise. Of course Jasper would have helped if I asked, but I wanted to feel my grief, not have it taken away.
 ‘The first snowfall of the year. It’s pretty, too bad it’s going to be washed away by rain tomorrow,’ Alice commented, her eyes lingering on the scenery outside before she looked over to me, worry shining in her black eyes. We were all thirsty today, which was why Jasper in particular was on edge. Thirst was actually something I handled quite will and within I few months of being newborn, I’d enrolled in high school as a freshman as soon as my eyes darkened to gold.
 ‘I’m okay, Alice.’ I murmured, knowing if any humans were looking in our direction they wouldn’t even be able to see my lips moving.
 ‘No you’re not. You don’t have to lie to us, Y/N.’ Jasper replied, his foot finding mine underneath the table again and giving me a playful nudge.
 ‘I know, I’m sorry,’ I bit my lip, grateful crying wasn’t possible, ‘I just didn’t think it would happen this soon.’
 ‘I’m sorry, Y/N.’ Rosalie said, placing a hand over one of mine. I smiled gratefully, happy that the blonde had warmed up to me over the years. It would have sucked spending an eternity with her hating me.
 ‘Thank you, Rose.’ My head rested on her shoulder for a moment as I hugged her from the side. I sat up afterwards, being sure to move at a human pace—it was simply too easy to move at vampire speed.
 ‘How do you feel about shopping tomorrow after school?’ Alice asked and I bit back a groan.
‘I have homework.’ I said, it was a poor excuse and she knew it—I had plenty of time to finish any homework I might be assigned, so realistically I was free as a bird.
‘Nice try. You need new clothes, the trends are changing and you’ll start sticking out soon.’ She grinned in victory when my shoulders slumped in defeat.
‘Fine.’ I threw a cookie crumb at her, laughing when she caught it without an issue.
I didn’t notice the small smiles that formed on the faces of my family at the sound—I’d been down ever since I’d found out that Charlie had passed away. It had been a total shock, healthy one day and the next he’d had a fatal heart attack. Edward had held me for four hours straight when I found out, not once did he complain, he gave me all the time I needed as my body shook with sobs. It had been a few months since I’d got the news now and I was starting to come out from underneath the dark cloud of grief, much to the relief of my family. They hated seeing me so forlorn.
My head snapped up almost too quickly as I caught Edward’s scent as he entered the Cafeteria, our brother trailing behind him and laughing his booming laugh at something the bronze haired vampire had said. Seeing them joking around together made me smile and when Edward winked in my direction my head ducked bashfully. I heard Emmett making a joke at my expense, amused I could still be modest after ten years, and I bit back a grin when I heard the curly haired brother masking a sound of pain, indicating my vampire had taken a jab at him. I felt myself relax down to my bones when Edward slid into the empty seat to my left, his right arm automatically wrapping around my shoulders.
‘How was class?’ I asked, entwining my fingers with his where they rested on my shoulder. His free hand was idly pushing food around on his tray as Emmett answered on his behalf.
‘Actually interesting. The new girl was snuggling up awful close to your husband there, sister.’ He winked, his grin growing at my frown of annoyance.
‘What new girl?’ I was surprised I’d missed the news, it was rare for new students to enroll here—not many people willingly wanted to go to school where it was freezing more often than it was warm.
‘Jody Hendricks.’ Edward murmured, the corners of his mouth falling in distaste, ‘I didn’t speak a word to her but she wouldn’t shut up for the whole class.’
‘I see,’ my eyes darted around the room as my irritation grew—I wasn’t usually the jealous type, but I blamed my short fuse on my grief.
It wasn’t hard to find her for two reasons: first, almost everyone was staring at her. Second she was staring at my husband. A growl formed at the back of my throat, too low for any humans to hear, but definitely loud enough for my family to pick up on. Emmett and Jasper snorted in amusement, but I didn’t pay them any mind as Edward’s hand came up to caress the side of my cheek, effortlessly earning my attention. His gentle touch erased the death stare that had been present on my expression meer moments before, and melt into something much softer. When I saw the amusement in his dark eyes I felt embarrassment wash through me like a tidal wave: what had I been doing? Of course I knew I had nothing to be worried about, but emotions were irrational and I’d been overcome with the jealous feeling before I’d been able to consider the ludicrousness behind it.
My thoughts were silenced as Edward’s lips moved against mine suddenly. The kids was deliberate, allowing anticipation to build between us like a slow building fire, and just when I was starting to forget where we were he pulled away, placing a kiss to my forehead. My smile was genuine and soft as I looked up into his eyes, that mirrored the same gentleness. The onyx orbs shimmered with adoration as he stared back, meeting my gaze head on. Immortality had been everything I’d hoped it would be and more, which I hadn’t thought would be possible, but it was. My love for Edward had only grown and flourished, as had the love I held for the rest of my family. Without a doubt I had been born to be a vampire, this is where I belonged, surrounded by my adopted family and in my husband’s arms. Here, I was home. And I couldn’t imagine that would ever change, even if I lived for an eternity.
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random-imagines-blog · 4 years ago
Text
They Speak the Language {Tech Boy x Reader}
Requested by: Anonymous Wordcount: 2181 Summary: Tech-Boy’s bad mood is starting to get to you, so you start to look for inspiration to turn it around. Notes: Contains bad language.
You knew it was a bad idea to get involved in the war between the old gods and the new. You were somewhere in the middle, along with a couple of others, who could very well tip the scales. And it wasn’t that you believed that one side was better than the other either. But one side had someone that you cared for more than the others. And that was the dangerous, marvelous, grumpy little thing that you knew as Tech-Boy. Of course you had thought that he was a bit of a douche when you met him for the first time, shortly after his emergence into the world. Everybody did. It was a part of his charm. But deep down, yeah, there was a heart there. After all, not all technology is meant to be cold. Most of it was built to help others, or to improve lives. He just took the functional part of it a little too seriously at times.
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You took a lot of rides with him in his special car. Sitting in the back with him as it drove itself - or rather, one of the faceless minions drove - around the different cities. Anywhere you wanted to go, you could. New York one minute, LA the next. Technology had no bounds, no limits, and so - neither did Tech-Boy.
“Why are you wearing your shirt like that,” You scoffed once you realized what it was that he was wearing. The jacket itself was nice, but he only had the top three buttons fastened. The rest were undone, showing off the red shirt underneath. “You look like you’re preparing for a huge dinner or something. You don’t even eat. What gives?”
You poked at his thin stomach, and he shoved your arm away. He adjusted the coat so it was exactly how he liked it, the open flaps down. “It’s the new look, y/n. Not that you know anything about what’s new.”
“Wow, someone’s being fucking harsh,” You said, folding your arms around yourself. You’d grown used to his rather ... delicate temper over the years. You knew not to take offense. “What crawled in your vape and died?”
“New Media,” He grumbled. You nodded, knowing that was a pretty good reason. The bubbly but bitchy new form of Media was a pain in the ass. You preferred the old. At least she had class. And a pretty good David Bowie impersonation.
“Say no more,” You said, sinking into the interior of the seat. You made yourself comfortable as the car went. You didn’t know where you were, nor did you know where you were going. It was more so about the journey than the destination. And with this teched-out car, the journey was definitely in style. “Just don’t forget that she owes her existence to you. Without the printing press, smartphones, internet - all that you have created - she’d be nothing. Lord it over her. I do it all the time.”
“You talk about me to her?” He asked, eyebrows shooting up towards his curls.
“More like I brag about you to her,” You snorted. “Okay, she might be a bit more superior than I am in the hierarchy, I’m barely anything, but you? Bitch is kidding herself if she thinks that she’s better than you. And guess what, you like me-”
“Barely fucking tolerate-” He muttered.
“-way more than you do her, so in her stupid face.” You didn’t allow his interruption to bother your momentum. You knew that behind that hard, technological, douchebag exterior was a heart wrapped in microchips. A soft, beating heart.
“She just doesn’t have to be so fucking smug,” He said. You could still feel anger coming off of him like heat waves. You just chuckled at his attitude - he really let things get under his skin. And he tried so hard to pretend to be this big tough guy.
“Don’t worry about it,” You said, patting his knee. “You’ll be around for the rest of time, and media is just going to be a fad. Especially her kind of media. She’ll get reborn again and again, as media changes. So -- forgedd abou-it.” You attempted your best accent, trying to sound like the Italians in the movies.
“You’re fucking horrible, you know that?” He said to you. But before he turned his head, you could just make out the corner of his lips going up into a smile. You would call that a success.
“So where are we off to, today? Silicon valley to go and mess with the nerds? Seattle to go and talk to Bill Gates? Come on, hit me with something fun.”
He just shrugged in retaliation. “I don’t feel like fucking with anyone today. I just want to .... go.”
“Okay, then let’s go...” You said, eyebrows furrowed. It really didn’t feel like it was a success anymore. He was closing off from you again, and you didn’t have any other choice but to let it happen.
-
You drove around for hours. There wasn’t anyway to measure the time, and the windows were permanently dark so you couldn’t see if it was day or if it was night out there. It didn’t matter. You had nowhere that you had to be, nor anywhere that you would rather go. He did slowly start to open back up. He bitched a lot, but he was well known for doing that. You would be much more concerned if he suddenly started to be positive. But he was slowly getting there.
It must be hard for him. He always provided what the people wanted, and what they needed. There was a difference between the two and he gave both. But there was always so much pressure to do more. To be better. He could outdo himself on one thing, and the next day, people would be clammering for bigger and better. He never got to actually enjoy what he gave.
Even those who had helped to bring into this world, like Media, and New Media. They came from him. They wouldn’t be here without him. And yet, they also just asked for more, more, more. They took, and they took. And gave nothing in return. They claimed some of his gifts to this world. They made it all about them. Look what I can do! If you worship me, you’re worshiping yourself! Narcissism at the touch of a button! Look at this celebrity’s ass! Look at these tits! Oh, a dick pic! Look, look, look.
What a lonely existence that he must have, you thought, as you watched him take puff after puff out of his vape. You don’t really know what he did outside of these drives with you. He never talked about it - only mentioned World and Media in passing. Not what he did with them. Not how the war plans were going. He tended to keep you separate from that part of his life.
“Fuck it,” You said, leaning forward in your seat. “Pull over.”
The driver did what he, or rather it, was told, and pulled the car over to the side of the road. You didn’t even know where you were. It could have been in a field, or a dark and creepy alley, or the suburbs of Albuquerque.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Tech asked, looking at you like you had suddenly gone insane.
“You’re acting like an asshole,” You said, shrugging, and opened your door. “And it’s honestly killing my vibe so... I’m going out to find it again.”
“Find your vibe? Here’s your vibe check-” He said, making a gun with his fingers and pointed it at you. “You’re fucking crazy.”
“And?” You got out of the car, and felt the cool night breeze on your face. It blew through your hair, and it felt pretty good after the staleness of the inside of the car. You looked at your surroundings, and grinned as you saw some lights not too far in the distance.
A movie theater. Absolutely perfect.
Tech-Boy slid out of the car as well, and stood in the middle of the street. His facial expression left you no doubts that he was doing this against his will. He didn’t want to be out here. “What the fuck are you doing?” He finally asked.
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“Come on, you big grump,” You said, taking hold of his hand and started to pull his thin frame towards the theater. He grumbled, but he walked along. Once you were inside, you noticed that there was an arcade area, for those who came too early for the movie. “Let’s have some fun. You really seem like you need it.”
Eventually, you had him paying air-hockey. He only half-ass played until you scored on him three times in a row, and then his more competitive streak started to show. He was moving back and forth, using his striker to block off all of your attempts. And just when it seemed like you were slowing down, he went from defense to offense. The puck shot across the table and straight through the slot on your side. The table let out a clang, and added one to his score. You picked out the disk with amusement as you watched him do a little shimmy dance. His thin little hips stuck out of his designer jeans, making you chuckle.
“I’m still ahead, douche,” You said, putting the puck down and shooting it while he was distracted. He was quick though, and blocked it, sending it back your way.
You played five games, until best three out of five, which he ended up winning. You hadn’t let him either - that wouldn’t have been fair. You then went onto the motor-races, with the chairs and the steering wheels. This was also something that he was better at than you were, but you didn’t mind losing. It was seriously so good to hear him laugh. And to hear him say ‘fuck’ in joy when he won, rather than annoyance at someone else.
You got a bag of popcorn and some soda just to watch him play Pacman. “Little - color - fuckers -” He mumbled when they came too close to his circular, yellow character. Only to let out barks of laughter when he got the big pellet and was able to eat them down. “Eat my ass, losers.”
Eventually you were both thrown out due to Tech-Boys language, but you didn’t even care. You didn’t even know which city you were. The likelihood that you would come back was slim to none. You got back into the car, the good mood still going.
“Well, this has been fun,” You said, resting your head on top of Tech-Boy’s shoulder. You were starting to get tired - even some of the minor Gods needed to sleep at times. “I should probably go home though.”
“Okay,” Tech-Boy said, and with a snap of his fingers, the car started to head in that direction. The rest of the ride remained silent, but it was a comfortable silence. Once in a while, a little laugh slipped through as the energy of the night stayed with you.
Eventually it all came to an end as the car stopped outside of your place. You reluctantly took your head off of his shoulder, and got out of the car, but paused before you would close the door. “I’ll see you later, yeah?”
“Yeah,” He said with a nod, picking up his vape once more.
“Okay - bye Techie. Love you!”
He looked at you like you were crazy, then did a shooing motion to try to get you on your way. But you didn’t move.
“Aren’t you going to say it back?” You questioned, leaning on the top of the door as it swayed under your weight. He curled his nose at you, and then tried to dismiss you again. But you didn’t move, just stood there grinning at him. “Not gonna leave until you say it back, big guy.”
He mumbled something under his breath. You cupped your hand around your ear. “What’s that?”
“Love you too,” He said, finally in a voice loud enough for you to hear. “You fucking freak.”
“Aww, you’re such a softie,” You grinned, sticking your tongue out between your teeth. You finally closed the door and made your way up to your place, the car idling outside until you were safely through the door. Tech-Boy held up his hand to snap his fingers, but didn’t until he saw the light in your window come on. Despite being alone, he smiled, chuckled, then finally told the car to keep on going. He might as well head home - the best part of his night was over.
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itsadamcole · 4 years ago
Text
i wish
fem!reader x tyler breeze
It’s been almost three months since reader last saw her husband, Tyler Breeze. He’s been traveling for wrestling. Reader has a fancy dinner event for her law firm and she wishes that Tyler was there to accompany her. Little does reader know that Tyler has a little surprise up his sleeve ... “i wish you were here”
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word count: 4.6k
warning: soft smut, fluff, a scene including sexual harassment, tyler being cute and happy, probably wrong legal stuff but we’re gonna pretend it’s real for the sake of the imagine
— just something i’ve been working on for a while and never posted —
masterlist || request an imagine here
~ 18+ content below - read at your own risk ~
As you do your makeup for your formal dinner party with your co-workers, your mind wanders off to your husband.
It's been close to three months since you kissed Tyler goodbye and it's gotten harder and harder every day. You miss him. You miss him being around and you miss hearing him yell and scream when he's streaming or playing UNO with DaParty.
The house has been too quiet without him. The only reason you're not feeling lonely is because of Kanga, Tigger, and Roo, the two dogs and the cat you and Tyler parent.
As you're applying your lipstick, you realize that you have a few tears running down your cheeks, ruining your makeup. You groan, frustrated with yourself as you dry the tears and fix your look.
Once your makeup is finally done, you get into the dress you bought for the occasion.
The dinner tonight is a formal event, meaning full-length dresses instead of the usual cocktail dress. You bought a full length dark red satin dress for the occasion. The top of the dress hugs your chest while the skirt has a slight flare to it. The v-neck dips down a little bit and the sleeves are thin as they sit on your shoulders. You pair the dress with dark red heels.
You put in diamond earrings that were gifted to you by Tyler on your first wedding anniversary. They hand down a little bit. To decorate your neck, you wear a necklace that your sister gave you for your birthday two birthdays ago. You put on your engagement and wedding rings on your left ring finger. You rarely ever wear your rings to work, let alone a work event.
As you're putting on your jewelry, your phone starts to go off. You walk over to the ringing device. Tyler is trying to FaceTime you.
You've told him about the dinner tonight and he said that he'd be there if he could. He knows how much you hate any kind of party.
Putting a smile on your face, you answer the FaceTime call. Tyler is looking at his phone, waiting for you to pick up. The second he sees you, a smile lights up his face. "There's my beautiful wife," Tyler says. "I can only see your face but I just know you look stunning."
"Hold on," you say, walking over to the full-length mirror in your bedroom. You turn the camera so the camera is on the mirror. The sunlight coming through the window lights up the room.
Tyler has a look of awe on his face as he looks at you in the mirror via the phone camera. "Baby," he says. "You look like a princess."
You smile and say, "I just need a little tiara."
Your husband says, "You don't need a tiara to be a princess, baby. This right here proves it."
You giggle and turn the camera back to your face. "I wish you were here," you say. "I hate going to these things alone."
Tyler says, "I know. I wish I was too. I'll be home for the next event though and we can kill it together. I promise."
"I can't wait," you say, glancing at the time. "Okay, I have to get going. It's going to take me years to drive to the place where this event is going to be because I'm in a gown and heels."
Your husband laughs over the phone and he asks, "Is it at The Oak again?"
Nodding, you say, "Of course it is because the partners always have this stupid dinner at the same exact place every few months."
Both you and Tyler laugh before he says, "Well, then, I'll let you go. You look beautiful, baby. I love you."
"And I love you," you say, blowing him kisses through the phone. "I'll see you when you come home."
Tyler smiles and says, "I'll be home before you know it. It'll go by quickly."
You smile as you both say your goodbyes. You grab your clutch and walk downstairs, phone already in hand from having just been on it when Tyler called.
You get into your car. You turn it on and start the half-hour ride to The Oak.
The Oak is a fancy hotel with a large ballroom area that the partners at your law firm always use for these events. There's one every four to six weeks. You've been working at Dolan and Reid's law firm for close to ten years so these get kind of boring after a while. You're required to be at each one though because of your position in the firm. You're a junior partner. You were promoted late last year and you were ecstatic.
You've been with Tyler since you were just starting out in the law firm. You got married four years ago. It's been an amazing four years.
As you pull up, you see several of your co-workers walking into the hotel. They're laughing and already having a good time. You park in the parking lot before you walk into the hotel yourself.
You've been here so many times, the hotel employees know your name and you know most of theirs. You don't have to ask where the bar is because you've been here so often.
When you walk up to the bar, the bartender, whose name is Lucy, asks, "What can I get for you, Y/N?"
You sigh, "A glass of your best whiskey, Lucy. Thank you."
She nods and gets your drink ready.
"This drink is on me," a male voice says beside you. You look over and see one of the other junior partners standing next to you. Danny Watson. You roll your eyes as you're handed your drink. "What? No 'hello'? Or what about 'hi, Danny. How are you'?"
You sip your drink and hold up your left ring finger with your wedding ring on it. "I'm married, remember?" you say coldly. "I'm not interested for the hundredth time."
Danny says, "I know for a fact that your husband is out of town for some wrestling bullshit so let me take you home, baby. Let me show you what I could do if you dumped that husband of yours that's never home."
You stay calm as you say, "Listen here, Daniel. Don't you insult my husband's work by calling it bullshit. And don't you dare even ask me to go home with you. I'm tired of you and your sexual harassment. Do it one more time and I'll talk to the partners about it."
He laughs and says, "You think they're gonna do anything about it? They have more important things to deal with than an allegation of sexual harassment."
"You forget that I'm a lawyer that handles sex cases or cases involving harassment and assault," you spit at him. "I'll sue you and represent myself."
Danny rolls his eyes and says, "Whatever, Y/N. You're not worth my time anymore."
You get angry and you say, "Fuck you, Danny. I was never worth your time because I am not going to cheat on my husband with anyone, let alone someone as low as you."
Someone walks over and stands beside you. "Y/N, is Danny bothering you again?" You look over and see that it's your best friend from work, Y/WBF/N. You sigh with relief and nod. "Go the fuck away, Danny. Stop harassing the poor girl when she's already upset enough."
Danny rolls his eyes and walks off. You thank Y/WBF/N and say, "My hero."
She hooks her arm with yours and says, "Let's head into the main room and dance a little bit. We both need to let off a little steam after that."
You finish your drink and say, "I couldn't agree more." The two of you walk into the ballroom area and walk to the dance floor.
Y/WBF/N is wearing a full-length form-fitting black dress. It looks beautiful on her. Her jet black curls bounce up and down as she moves.
You and your work best friend both dance for about 30 minutes before the DJ says, "Let's slow it down a little bit so the couples in the room can dance together."
A Thousand Years by Christina Perri plays and you leave the dance floor area with Y/WBF/N, finding a seat at one of the round tables. You sip the water that's provided for you and you notice Y/WBF/N glance behind you and smile a bit.
Before you can react or say anything, you hear a familiar voice behind you say, "Excuse me, Mrs. Breeze. I believe that you should be on the dance floor with your husband." You quickly turn around in your seat and look behind you to see your husband, Tyler Breeze, standing behind you. He's fully dressed in a black and white suit with a red tie.
Quickly, you get up and wrap your arms around Tyler's neck. You're on your tiptoes as you hug him. You're hugging your husband for the first time in months. Your arms are wrapped tightly around his neck.
Tyler takes your hand and leads you over to the dance floor, where about twenty or so couples are dancing together to the slow song. You haven't been able to stop smiling since you turned around in your seat.
Your husband takes you in his arms, wrapping them around your waist. You wrap your arms around his neck and sway to the music. You stare up at Tyler, meeting his pretty brown eyes for the first time since he left three months ago.
"How did you get here?" you ask. "Last time I checked, you were supposed to be in Seattle for NXT Takeover."
He smiles and says, "That's not until Saturday and I decided to come by for the next four days and spend time with my wife. Dango is covering for me in Seattle while I'm here with you. It wasn't worth spending four days in Seattle with nothing to do so I decided to come and surprise you."
You smile and pull yourself closer to Tyler. Your cheek is now on his chest and you listen to the sound of his heart beating. You say, "I'm so happy you're home for a few days. I've missed you so much, so have Kanga, Tigger, and Roo."
Tyler laughs and says, "I said hi to them when I stopped by the house to grab this tie so I can somewhat match you."
Laughing, you look back up at Tyler. A smile is on your lips as you sigh, "I've missed you, Tyler. So much."
Your husband says, "I've missed you too, Y/N. You look absolutely stunning and I am so glad that I got to see you in the dress."
You smile and wrap your arms tighter around Tyler's neck, pressing your cheek to his chest again. Tyler kisses the top of your head and you close your eyes as the song ends but changed to One Direction's If I Could Fly.
Tyler wraps his arms tighter around your waist and you both continue to sway to the music.
As you dance with your husband, you wish that this moment would never end that way he wouldn't have to leave in four days to fly across the country from you. You wish you could stay in his arms forever. You don't want him to leave and you can't go with him because you have an important case to prep for. The trial starts on Monday.
"Hey," Tyler says, looking down at you. "Y/N, what's wrong? You're crying."
You hadn't noticed that you started crying. You wipe your mascara filled tears away and you say, "I wish you didn't have to leave in a few days. I hate it when you leave for so long. I wish you could stay with me for a while."
Tyler smiles and says, "I was going to surprise you with this later but after Takeover, I'm home for nine weeks. No more touring until after the holidays. The next Takeover is in Orlando so I don't have to go very far."
The news makes you smile wide. You say, "Really? You're going to be home for nine weeks straight?"
Your husband nods and says, "I am. I'm all yours for the next nine weeks after Takeover. I also told Dango to stay away for the first week or so since I have a lot of time to make up for." Tyler winks at you. You lightly kick Tyler's shin.
"Tyler!" you scold. "I'm at a work event. You can't be saying these things when my co-workers are around."
He laughs and asks, "Am I not allowed to touch you then since your co-workers are around?" He lets you go and you pout.
You say, "I never said that." Tyler smiles and puts his hands back on your waist. "You're mean."
Tyler smiles and says, "But you love me."
You giggle and say, "Yes. I do love you."
"Am I allowed to kiss you or no?" your husband teases. "Since your co-workers are around."
Rolling your eyes, you say, "I don't care if my co-workers are around. I haven't kissed you in close to three months."
Tyler laughs and brings his lips down to yours. They move against yours slowly and your eyes flutter closed as you kiss your husband for the first time in three months. The kiss is very soft and passionate from the start. Your hands slide to Tyler's cheeks, holding his face between your hands.
The song changes and everyone comes back into the dance floor. Tyler pulls back from the kiss and looks down at you.
"Y/N," one of the partners calls, walking toward you. Mr. Reid is the partner walking toward you. "May I have a few words outside with you?"
You nod and look at Tyler. "I'll be right back," you say to your husband. "Y/WBF/N is still at the table you found me at."
Tyler nods and you walk away with Mr. Reid, leaving the large ballroom and loud music. You find yourself in the lobby of the hotel with not only Mr. Reid but Mr. Dolan and Danny.
That bitch, you think to yourself.
Mr. Dolan says, "Mr. Watson here has told us you have been harassing him for a few weeks. He's been saying you've been wanting to, and I quote, 'take him to bed'."
Your eyes widen and you say, "That is not how it went down, Mr. Dolan. It's been the opposite actually. My husband has been away for a few weeks for his job and Daniel has been harassing me the entire time my husband has been gone." Panic rises in your voice. "I've never once asked if Daniel could take me to bed. As a matter of fact, I've never approached Daniel for anything outside of work."
Mr. Reid looks at Danny and says, "You omitted the part where she had a husband, Mr. Watson."
You've rarely ever told anyone that you have a husband let alone that Tyler Breeze is your husband because of his status. NXT Tag Team Champion and WWE superstar. He's well known, and you never know who is or isn't a wrestling fan.
The partners never asked for your marital status so you never told them. You were single when you started working at the firm. You've been going by your maiden name at work, not your married last name since you never legally changed your name to Y/N Breeze after you married Tyler.
Between your friends and family, you are Mrs. Breeze. Legally, you're still Y/N L/N so you're not obligated to tell anyone you're married. You've only told Danny and Y/WBF/N because of Danny's harassment and because Y/WBF/N is your best friend.
Daniel says, "I didn't think that was an important subject."
Mr. Dolan says, "Miss L/N, we did check the footage from tonight at the bar before we came to get you and we did see that Mr. Watson came up to you and you did seem agitated that he was there. You held up your left hand as well. We just wanted to confirm that it has been Mr. Watson harassing you since we did have visual evidence."
You sigh with relief that the partners didn't believe Danny.
Danny on the other hand looks pissed that he's been caught in a lie. Mr. Reid says, "Now, Mr. Watson, next time you lie, you might not want to lie to lawyers. As of this moment, you have been demoted to associate, and associate you will stay for a while. If we get any more reports of harassment coming from you, you will be terminated. Understood?"
"Yes, sir," Danny mumbles.
Mr. Reid says, "You're dismissed, Mr. Watson."
Danny walks away and you look at the partners. Mr. Dolan asks, "Miss L/N, is your last name legally L/N, or do you share your husband's last name?"
You say, "It's legally still L/N. I've been thinking of legally changing it to my husband's last name for a little bit."
"What's been stopping you?" Mr. Dolan asks.
You play with your thumbs and say, "My husband is a professional wrestler. A pretty well-known professional wrestler and I've been trying to keep my marriage on the quiet side because of his job."
Mr. Reid says, "You don't have to use your husband's last name on your cards for work if you want to change it to his last name. You can still be Y/N L/N since it is your maiden name."
You blink and say, "In that case, I might legally change my last name to my husband's. I was lead to believe that I had to use my legal name."
Mr. Reid says, "You can go by your birth name or your married name, Miss L/N. We have a few documents upstairs that will help you begin the process of changing your last name tonight. I can retrieve them quickly. All you have to do is provide some information and sign a few papers and then it's done."
You nod and say, "Let's do it."
The partners go and get the documents. Tyler texts you in the meantime.
11:27 pm
tyler bby: everything okay? you’ve been gone for a little bit
11:28 pm
you: everything's okay. we're talking over a case that starts monday. i'll be back in a few minutes
Tyler writes back an "okay see you in a few" and you sigh.
He surprised you and now you're going to surprise him. He's been wanting you to change your last name so he'll be happy about this.
With Mr. Reid and Mr. Dolan's help, the documents are all signed after you provide the information. It takes about fifteen minutes once they come back with the papers.
Mr. Reid hands you a document with your new legal name and says, "Congratulations, Mrs. Breeze."
You smile and say, "Thank you."
You walk off back toward the dinner party and walk to Tyler.
When you get to Tyler, you lower the paper in front of his face from behind him and you say, "Surprise."
Tyler looks up at you and asks, "You changed your last name?"
You nod and say, "It'll take some time and some processing before it's officially legal but yes, I changed my last name. I am now unofficially Mrs. Y/N Breeze. I'm still going to use my maiden name at work and it's what my clients will call me but my legal name will be Y/N Breeze."
Your husband stands up and kisses you. You giggle into the kiss and he mumbles, "Mrs. Breeze sounds so hot."
"It was your last name before it was mine," you say against Tyler's lips.
Tyler smiles against your lips before he pulls back. "Tonight's just full of surprises for both of us," he says.
You peck his lips and say, "Take me upstairs to see another surprise that will give you a preview of what our week will look like once you're back from Takeover this weekend."
Tyler's eyes widen and he takes your hand. He walks to the receptionist's desk and says, "We'd like a room. Any room that you have available."
The woman behind the desk says, "Room 1118 is available."
Your husband says, "We'll take it."
Tyler pays for the room and is given the key. Excited, he takes your hand again and walks to the elevator. He steps on and pulls you into his arms. As the doors shut, Tyler kisses you passionately. You giggle against his lips and mumble, "Someone's antsy."
"I haven't been intimate with my wife in three months," he says, pulling back from the kiss and undoing his tie. "Excuse me if I'm a little excited to have sex tonight."
You smile and pull Tyler back to you by pulling his jacket. Your lips crash to his and the intense kiss continues as Tyler presses you against the wall of the elevator.
Luckily no one is on the elevator as you ascend to the 11th floor. The trip takes what feels like forever before you reach the 11th floor.
Once the doors open, you take Tyler's hand and walk down the hallway quickly until you get to room 1118.
Tyler unlocked the door with the keycard and pulls you inside. The door closes and automatically locks behind you as Tyler presses you against the door.
You stare up at Tyler and see his brown eyes dark with lust and need, for you. Your core begins to ache at the thought of what Tyler's going to do to you tonight after he sees the underwear you're wearing.
It's been three long months since you last had sex. Three months too long.
Your need for Tyler overwhelms you and you lean your head up, kissing Tyler hard.
As your lips move against Tyler's, you push off his suit jacket. It drops to the floor. His tie joins the jacket before the two of you stumble toward the bed.
It's mostly dark in the room, except for the moonlight and bright lights of Orlando shining into the room from the window and glass doors that lead to the balcony.
You've done this so many times with Tyler that the two of you know each other like the back of your hands. You don't need light.
Tyler's fingers work on the zipper on the back of your dress as yours work on unbuttoning his shirt. Your lips move feverishly against each other. You eventually get Tyler's shirt unbuttoned and you pull it off of him.
He gets your dress unzipped and you let it fall off your body, pooling at your feet. You step out of your heels and Tyler pulls back from the kiss. He looks down at you. You're not wearing a bra but you're wearing a pair of red lacy panties.
Your husband licks his bottom lip and says, "Now that's a surprise."
You giggle and start to unbutton his pants as he spins you around and pushing you back onto the bed. He leans over the bed with his hands on either side of you, holding himself up. Tyler kisses you softly, taking his face in your hands as you kiss him back.
Tyler pushes you onto your back, breaking the kiss. His lips are on your chest and slowly trail down your body. You've missed this feeling. His lips on your body, his fingers touching your skin. It's been three months since you've been with Tyler like this.
He pushes your panties to the side and starts to kiss and suck on your sensitive clit. You let out a soft moan and bite your lip. Tyler hums softly and runs his tongue through your folds. "Tyler," you sigh. "Please. No teasing tonight."
Your husband smirks and pulls off your panties before slipping two fingers into you. You moan a little louder and your back arches off the bed as Tyler moves his fingers quickly.
You grasp onto the bedsheets and let out a loud moan as he adds a third finger. Loud moans escape your lips with every flick of Tyler's wrist. Your body jerks beneath Tyler's touch and he looks up at you with his eyes.
It takes maybe five minutes before you're pulled to the edge of an orgasm. Your legs shake a bit as you get closer and closer, then Tyler pulls his fingers out of you. You whine and look at him.
"Baby," you say, pouting. "Not fair."
Tyler stands at the foot of the bed in front of you. You watch as he pulls off his pants and his boxers. You gently bite your lip and Tyler crawls onto you, hovering over you between your legs. His lips are on yours within a few seconds and they move against yours intensely. Your fingers are in his hair, holding Tyler close to you.
The two of you share the passionate kiss for a few moments before Tyler begins to push himself into you, making you moan and gasp softly against Tyler's lips.
Tyler pulls back and his lips attach to your neck. Your hands slide down to the back of Tyler's neck and he starts to thrust his hips into you gently. Your eyes flutter closed and you enjoy the feeling of Tyler inside you. "God, Tyler," you moan. "I've missed this."
Your husband smiles against your neck as he moves harder into you, his tip grazes your g-spot and you moan his name loudly.
He props himself up on his arms, pulling away from your neck. Your eyes meet his as you wrap your legs around his waist tightly. His thrusts are harder and he's so deep inside you that his hips are now flush against yours.
As you're pulled closer and closer to your orgasm again, your legs begin to shake. You're gasping and moaning. The sound of skin slapping and your moans fill the small room.
"I'm close, baby," Tyler groans as he's pulled closer to his climax.
Your hands cup his face and you say, "Come, baby."
Tyler thrusts a few more times into you before you both release. You around him and him inside you. He helps you ride out your high. You come down, whining and sighing. You pull Tyler's face down to yours and kiss him lightly.
Both of you are out of breath as Tyler rolls off of you and walking to the bathroom to grab something to clean everything up. You crawl under the blankets and once Tyler's done cleaning up, he joins you. You rest your head on his chest and listen to his heart beat in his chest. You smile and say, "Your heart is beating so fast."
He lets out a breathy laugh and he says, "It's beating that fast for you."
You move so you're laying onto your stomach. Your breasts are presses against Tyler's side and you rest your chin on your hands, which rest on his chest. Tyler smiles at you and you say, "You're so cheesy, but I love it."
Tyler kisses your nose and says, "I can't wait until after Takeover now if that's what our week is going to look like as soon as I get back."
Laughing, you say, "It's going to look like that and so much more. Expect some new outfits too, Mr. Breeze."
Your husband smiles and says, "Oh, I'm excited about these new outfits, Mrs. Breeze."
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flowerslut · 4 years ago
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DAY ONE: HUMAN/VAMPIRE  Rated: T for language Words: 2,824
A/N: It’s day one and I’m already cheating.
Fully kidding. It’s entirely on-theme. It just so happens to be the first chapter of the brain-worm that dug itself into my skull a couple of weeks ago. The human Jasper/vampire Alice fit that I never thought I’d write. Enjoy the drama.
EDGE OF IT ALL
With a deep breath he inhaled steadily, closing his eyes as he let the cigarette calm him. Upon his exhale he opened his eyes, watching as the smoke mingled with his own breath, both evaporating in the cold air. The rain fell hard around him as he leaned up against the wet bark of the tree.
He wasn’t entirely out of the way of the constant downpour; his clothes were dampened with a fine layer of rainwater. But the slight cover that the canopy of trees provided him with was the best amount of protection he was going to get out there. He ignored the shiver that fought it’s way free and pulled his jacket tighter around him.
It was bad enough that he’d cut class, but now there was no way he’d be able to return in time for sixth period. And even if he did—if he stomped out his cigarette and rushed back to the math and sciences building—Ms. Sanborn would see his drenched state, smell the smoke on his clothes and send him straight to the office. He didn’t want them to call Wilson any more than he was sure the man wanted to be interrupted on a work day.
At the breakfast table he’d pleaded with Jasper to not cause any trouble today; his foster father had an important meeting with the nurses under his charge at the clinic today. The portly man wasn’t a nurse himself—administrative duties had been his calling, apparently—but sometimes the man spoke with an air that made Jasper wonder if the guy really thought he was as important as the health care providers that actually treated patients.
It annoyed Jasper on a good day, but today it had been borderline intolerable.
He’d tried, at least. He’d stuck it out until lunch period and then that annoying fuck Colson just had to make some remark in passing that it was a good thing college applications charged a fee, saying it ‘weeded out the dumbasses whose parents couldn’t afford school anyway.’ 
Jasper hadn’t even hit the guy, even after the snob had pointedly eyed Jasper as they walked by the corner of the lunch room he typically occupied. He hadn’t even said anything in reply to the remark! Really, it was a testament to some sort of self-control Jasper had been scavenging together over the past ten months at the tiny school. The fact that he hadn’t ended the day suspended should be seen as a gift to Wilson.
And truly he wasn’t hurting anyone in skipping class. He was failing pre-calc anyways. And then after that was art. Which was so easy he could probably skip the rest of the school year and still score at least a B.
That was one of the plus sides to a school (and a town) as small as Forks. Back in Oakland—and even in Seattle, although he’d only been there for a month and a half—the school resource officer would’ve been out, scouring the grounds for him by now. Here, there weren’t even metal detectors by the doors. It was bizarre in the most liberating of ways.
Not that he brought his knife to school anymore anyways. Wilson and Meg had begged him to leave it in his room. He should’ve found himself grateful that they didn’t confiscate it from him fully.
“If it helps him feel safe, it’s fine,” he’d overheard his foster mother, Meg, explaining to her conservative husband a few weeks after he’d arrived.
“He has a history of violence,” his foster father had growled back, not even attempting to be quiet. Jasper hadn’t felt bad about listening in when there wasn’t much of an attempt at subtlety.
“Violence when threatened,” he could almost picture Meg rolling her eyes, dismissing her husband’s valid concerns the way she often did. The sound of a cabinet opening and closing had given Jasper all he context clues he needed, and when he’d heard the pop of a bottle he just knew that she was about to down her nightly bottle of wine. “What’s going to threaten him out here? The rain? A wandering coyote? Relax, Wil.”
They weren’t the best placement he’d been given, in Jasper’s opinion. But they were far from the worst.
Tugging his damp sleeves further down his arms Jasper reached to his back pocket and retrieved another cigarette from the carton. He’d already told himself that his previous one would be his last one of the day, but then he’d realized that there was no way he was going to make it back to school. Might as well light up a couple more.
When he started flicking his lighter, he swore loudly when a thick raindrop fell through the canopy and perfectly into the lighter’s opening, extinguishing the flame he’d just ignited. He flicked it several times after that, swearing again when the stupid thing refused to even spark. Out of frustration he let the unlit cigarette fall from his lips, tossing the now-useless lighter deep into the woods.
Great. Just fucking perfect. He did have a shift at the new convenience store in town tomorrow, meaning he’d be able to snag a few more lighters before he clocked out, but that felt too far away.
Leaning his head back against he tree he thought to himself, attempting to come up with a decent enough excuse to get Wilson off of his back tonight. No doubt the school had already called both the house phone as well as his and Meg’s cell phones. The fact that his own shitty prepaid phone hadn’t rung yet was surprising. Usually Wilson liked to let Jasper know how disappointed he was in him the instant said disappointment struck the man.
His daydreams were cut short when suddenly something small came flying at him, hitting him square in the chest too quickly for him to dodge.
“Oof,” Jasper leaned forward, his hands moving to grab at his chest. He was caught so off guard that he had no idea what had even struck him, but whatever it was had been moving so fast that Jasper wasn’t entirely sure he wasn’t bleeding beneath his shirt. The projectile had felt small and metal.
For half of a second Jasper thought that maybe he was shot, but quickly he dismissed the thought. He hadn’t heard a peep and besides, he’d learned from others exactly what being shot felt like, and this feeling—while still acutely painful—didn’t compare.
“Sorry!” A woman’s voice called from somewhere high up in the canopy, causing Jasper to almost jump out of his own skin. His head quickly lifted, searching for the source of the words. “I didn’t mean to throw that so hard!”
Who the fuck…?
It was there, on the ground in front of him, that he saw it: his broken, red lighter. The one he’d tossed far into the forest barely minutes before.
Someone else was out here with him, and she had an arm that would put most major league baseball players to shame.
Her voice was high, almost bell-like with her apology. It wasn’t a voice Jasper recognized as he wracked his brain, trying to place it with a face he knew from school.
“What—where are you?” He called out, hand still against his chest as he stepped out from the cover of the trees and lifted his eyes to the canopy once more. Her voice sounded impossibly high up. There was no way someone could climb any of these trees without a ladder, he realized as he blinked up into the oncoming rain.
Then, a blur of movement as something—no, someone—fell from high above, landing only feet away from him.
“Jesus Christ!” He screamed, unable to help himself as he stumbled back a few steps. With one arm half-way outstretched, he didn’t have time to stumble back toward the girl—holy shit she’d jumped fucking hell there’s no way she survived that these trees are massive oh god some girl just fucking killed herself in front of him—he found himself stunned into silence when his eyes fell upon the girl standing before him, completely unharmed.
“Hi!” She greeted cheerily, smiling widely up at him.
Jasper wondered if she’d thrown something else at him, because suddenly all the air left his lungs and he was stuck there motionless, staring at the girl in front of him.
She was beautiful. Almost otherworldly so. Her hair was cropped short around her face, longer strands sticking to her pale cheeks due to the rain. Her clothes were ill-fitting—and were those holes in the sweater that almost swallowed her slight frame whole?—and she was completely barefoot.
Not to mention her eyes were a bright, vivid red.
The instant his eyes landed on hers he took an involuntary step backward. Sure, she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen in his entire eighteen years on this planet, but that one glance into her own gaze broke whatever trance she’d placed him in and he felt the hairs on the back of his neck begin to raise.
It wasn’t that he’d never seen anyone wear colored lenses before. But this crossed over from weird to just plain eerie with the rest of her appearance alone.
Her face crumbled as he took another step backwards. “No! It’s okay! I’m not going to hurt you, I—” but as she inhaled her face was suddenly pained, and in the blink of an eye she was suddenly fifty yards away, just barely visible across the clearing.
Moving slowly, Jasper felt his heart rate begin to skyrocket as he took another step backward. He had to move. He had to find his bag. He had to find his shit now and get the fuck out of there before—
“No!” And in another blink she was behind him, standing just between him and his ratty old backpack. “Please, I’m sorry. I know I’m going about this all wrong but—”
“What the fuck are—” it was too easy to slip on the wet leaves beneath his feet, and as Jasper landed on his ass in a puddle he couldn’t help but scurry backward any way he could. He was either losing his goddamn mind, or he was about to die. Maybe both. “Get—get away from me!” He yelled, swatting a hand ahead of him, feeling very much like a fool. Like a caveman swinging a torch toward a lion; a silly, feeble motion.
“No, Jasper, shh,” her eyes were wide then, and when she lifted her hands up toward him, as if trying to calm a wild animal, her sleeves fell backward. Jasper’s eyes locked onto the blood beneath her fingernails and in that moment he was certain he was going to die.
He stopped attempting to escape in that moment. “How the fuck do you know my name?” He demanded of the girl—the demon—the thing—as he worked to keep his voice even. She didn’t need to know that he was scared out of his wits. Truthfully, she definitely already knew it. After all he was on his ass in the middle of a puddle, not too far from wetting himself if he were being entirely honest.
He knew he’d fight his way back to the school if he had to, but somehow the idea of defending himself against this tiny girl seemed like a laughable idea.
“I’m messing this up so bad. No, no, no.” Then, her eyes flickered back toward where the school was. Jasper followed her gaze, but when he lifted his eyes back up, she was gone.
“Hello?” He called out, his voice shaking as he waited for her to reappear somewhere else around him.
He nearly pissed his pants when he turned his head back toward the school and Edward Cullen was standing there, staring out into the clearing with his weird, wide, golden eyes. Coming up behind him was none other than his brother, Emmett.
“Did you see that?” Jasper blurted out, desperate to know that he wasn’t crazy, that the Cullen boys had seen the demon girl, too.
Edward looked at him strangely then, and Jasper couldn’t help but think that the younger boy was seeing straight through him. But when the bronze-haired Cullen shrugged, looking around the clearing, as if confused, Jasper felt his heart sink. “See what?”
“You good man?” Emmett asked, jogging up to where Jasper was laying in the mud. The oldest Cullen had always been the nicest out of all of them. Not that the others were mean, but they certainly weren’t the friendliest group of people.
He’d known who they were even before he’d even started his first day. Meg and Wilson had told him all about the Cullen siblings and the Hale girls before he’d started. “They’re foster kids, too. Good kids. Maybe try hanging out with them!”
As if it would be a normal thing to do; approach the only other outcasts in the school and form what? A friendship? An alliance of weirdos? Jasper had never attempted to even talk to them.
Emmett reached down toward Jasper and he grabbed the offered hand firmly, letting the larger boy pull him up onto his feet.
Jasper frowned as Emmett released his grip. If his hands were that cold then Jasper’s had to be far worse. It was then that he was reminded just how freezing it was outside, as the rain continued to pour down on them, unrelenting. “What happened?” The dark-haired guy asked, also surveying the area with careful eyes.
“I—” But Jasper didn’t want to sound like a complete lunatic and he also had no idea how to describe what the fuck had just happened. “There was… a girl?”
“A girl?” Emmett raised an eyebrow, then his expression morphed and suddenly he looked like he was biting back a grin. “If Sanborn knew you were cutting class to hook up with a girl she’d have an aneurism.”
“I—that’s not—”
“Emmett,” Edward rolled his eyes, before turning back toward the school, “Come on.”
“What were you two doing out here?” Jasper flipped the script on them as quick as he could, hating how his face was probably bright red at the insinuation.
Emmett laughed, “Leaving early to drive this one to a doctor’s appointment,” he jutted a thumb over his shoulder toward his brother, “and we were nearly to the car when we swore we heard the sound of someone screaming.” He eyed Jasper pointedly, his eyes once more traveling around the forest. “Y’know there’s bears out here. You should be careful.”
Jasper snorted, reaching around and wiping wet leaves off his pants, then he skulked over to where he’d dropped his bag and picked it back up, flinging it over his shoulder. “There aren’t bears out here.”
“That you know about!” Emmett pointed a finger just as Edward cleared his throat, apparently tired of being in Jasper’s presence. This was what Jasper meant when he said Emmett was at least friendly. His siblings, not so much. 
“Let’s go, Emmett.” If Edward had started tapping his foot Jasper wouldn’t have been surprised. He reminded Jasper of some stuck-up mom sick of waiting in line at an overcrowded Starbucks.
(Yet another normal, regular thing Forks didn’t even have.)
“Need a lift?” Emmett offered, ignoring his brother and turning fully toward Jasper. “I doubt you’re going back to class and we drive right by your street anyways.” Then he paused, “You live off Hill, right?”
Jasper nodded. “Actually, yeah. If you don’t mind.” Truthfully Jasper didn’t want to spend one more second in these woods, especially if that demon girl was going to show up again. As he turned to follow Emmett his eyes met Edward’s glare. “What?”
Edward didn’t say anything, but he also didn’t move. So when Emmett strode right past him, Jasper close behind, he couldn’t help but think to himself, what the fuck is your problem? as he walked by. But it wasn’t until he and Emmett were several strides away that Jasper swore he heard something.
A growl of some sort, coming from where Edward was still standing, facing the clearing. Jasper turned to look, suddenly wondering what the hell that noise was, when Emmett reached out and grabbed the blond’s shoulder.
“Watch out,” he said, just as Jasper stumbled across an over-grown root.
Catching himself he was thankful for Emmett’s outstretched arm. Clinging to it, he steadied himself, feeling like an idiot as he quietly thanked the guy. When Jasper finally turned his head, Edward was already following after them, his expression severe.
But even as they made it to the car, Jasper pulling his hood up over his head to prevent any of the teachers from recognizing him walking with the Cullen boys, Jasper couldn’t help but wonder what that noise was.
And who that girl was.
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